#i dont fucking know how everyone else does so much i rly feel like im fighting for my life just to get by every day

[phagodyke]

venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍

haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(

[doyouevenshipbr0]

borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.

happy gruvia day i guess!

so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.

ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.

seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!

*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*

im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.

ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.

and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.

so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!

then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!

so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.

im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.

but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.

it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!

u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.

im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?

so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?

the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!

like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!

and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!

whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point

[narwhalandchill]

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

[cogbreath]

ngl even tho i had faith in both you and allah that whatever you had done would not be the end of you i WAS worried still so yeah like everyone else is saying i'm also rly glad that you're recovering. congrats on surviving life's bullshit yet again my friend. may the next one maybe be less painful tho bc that did/does not sound like a fun time

jazakallah khair ❤️

and i do wanna apologise for worrying you guys. we all do know that i didnt mean to but i do understand how even when we r aware of that, it can still hurt and be scary to see someone u care about end up in a situation like that and it can be confusing and frustrating cuz of the fact its so clearly not a good thing to do to oneself. but im rlly rlly thankful that despite all that you guys have it in your hearts to be so so gentle and kind to me which seriously means the world to me

im not entirely sure how bad my situation really was, because it's honestly difficult for me to remember how much i actually ended up drinking, my memory is rlly blurry about it but i do know that i did pass out for a while. i wasn't exactly worried at first that i felt that i needed to puke and legit was shocked when i started seeinf it turning red n shit. i wanfed to believe that somehow it was just something i ate that was also red but when i started tasting the taste of iron i Knew. because it seemed to be becoming more and more bloody i was like. "o fuck." i was still aware of ans believing in the resilience of the human body, reminding myself that people have literally survived getting hit with a particle beam in the head, but nonetheless it doesnt change the fact that vomiting blood is something associated with fatal outcomes. i guess honestly it really doesn't matter either way what the true severity of it was and i shouldn't trouble myself too much about trying to figure it out because no matter what, it was a dangerous and bad situation to be in. also im not detailing more now about what happened so as to be shocking or graphic but like i just want to be honest about it so i can help process it and help u guys have more clarity on what happened now that im not as delirious and panicked as i was when it all went down

i wasnt scared to die and honestly no matter what never will be because of the way my brain is wired about the concept of death, but what i was most scared of was that ppl i care about and that allah would be mad at me. so it helps a lot to have that affirmed that nobodys mad at me and nobody thinks that i'm stupid or had it coming

sorry if this is more than u expected as a response, but you guys are some of the only people i can feel comfortable being truly deeply honest with. i dont ever intend to trouble you with things that arent your job to manage and i dont intend to freak people out. but maybe thats not nice to assume thats what anyone is thinking. ily

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[ranboo5]

sorry this ended up being so long and its a little over the place

i thought they really nailed the atmosphere from episode 1 and i was srly impressed w the set design and the pretty seamless transition between live bits and prerecorded bits (felt a bit like a pre-rendered cutscene in a viddy game) and the general gamey aspects of the audience participation. my first first first impression of the entire thing was i was reminded of like you know those kids shows that are live action and theres an grownup guy whos host and theyre walking around in weird surreal rooms that arent real rooms but just a set? do you get what i mean.

i get that whole point was like well the "show" is show and its meant to be off and have this like vibe of shallow entertainment but its like when the large chunks of the actual series is That it wasnt always super interesting to watch unless there was something else going on? but like conceptually i really liked all the different segments of the "show". theres almost an aspect to them where in some of them the entertainment comes out of like almost degrading and dehumanizing the participants? could be wrong. anyway no matter how entertaining i found those bits, having 2/3 of the series be That does make really good buildup for ep3 i dont think i wouldve enjoyed ep3 alone without having seen ep1 and ep2. like them just walking around on these like sets they had been in prior but now theyre empty and dark. and the sets on their own were already a bit freaky and ominious but with all the silliness on top you sort of buy it, but now theyre empty like FUCK. seeing the ep 1 set from that perspectove for example fucked w me. i rly like ep3.

i liked the little nod to jerma dollhouse. and i love how they make audience participation feel increasingly more sinister during the course of the series . i mean it was already sinister in jerma dollhouse because jerma dollhouse is a riff on sims and SIMS is sinister because you get to play god with little guys and thats on paper a little fucked up. i guess the audience has way less power in genloss but theyre sort of complicit in everything and almost contributing to the spectacle just by virtue of being there and watching? idk. thinking of ranboo yelling stop watching into charlies stream and throwing the camera into the floor. maybe thats the point

i havent thought tooo hard about but but i think the overall recurring theme feels slightly on the nose like the part where ranboo walks into the food court and its just this row of streamers it feels like just slightly a little bit corny. but then on the other hand id rather have that than like it being so ambiguous that the casual viewer would not Get it do you get what i mean.

umm i think my biggest consistent negative thing was the improv between characters felt a little chaotic and overwhelming and it seemed like some participants werent really responding to each other as much as just Saying things. and i think given the many different kinds of Situations and Predicaments they were in i was a bit disappointed that there wasnt as much good like not banter but back and forth as i wouldve hoped. and then i liked even less when there were too many streamers in one scene at once it was very overwhelming and chaotic and it seemed like everyone was just fighting for screentime (maybe this is not true but this is the impression i got). im fine w the acting tho i think it was suited for the story they wanted to tell. as always blown away by ranboos profiecience at playing a miserable sopping guy at the end.

the standout star of the series was the visuals goddd the sets and the cinematography and the way they utilize the entire space so well.like every single hallway and door . and like idk what to call them the like Guys with the masks just pouring out of these corners is so freaky and then the Wire tv creechers are so and its so actually i have one thing visualswise that i thought abt that stuck with me with like again idk if they have a name but the guys with the masks in general. ESPECIALLY that moment in the end when ranboo presses that red button and they all just kind of stop and shut down and just stand there eerily . VISUALLY it reminds me so much of magrittes golconda and i just keep thinking about it. like the way theyre all spaced and just standing it almost feels intentional maybe not referencing that work specifically but def trying to evoke a similar feeling. do you see the vision

idk. Thats my thoughts.i have not been super into the whole arg aspect and the binary code and wingdings and i have not dived super deep into like the hashtag LORE these r just my own observations and thoughtse. yayy

THIS IS AWESOME TBH.... I DIDN'T MAKE THE MAGRITTE CONNECTUION BUT YUOU'RE SO RIGHT AND IT WORKS SAUR FUCKING WELL LIKE WHAT IF I EXPLODE

I think I had a lot of patience for the show:tm: stuff because I was paying (probably too much/reading Into It) attention to the moments of like . Shaky camerawork or weird handling of confessionals. That whole energy that Showfall is not an actual media company but something playing at being a media company. IS SO

[yuukei-yikes]

A lot of people seem to not like the manga as a starting point but its what hooked me. I saw will stetsons lost time memory and I was like "what???" "thats it???" and found the rest with my brother at like 2am. the mangas slow fun pace that is instantly cut off by horror is fun, the flashbacks are great characterization.... the only part i didn't like was the dissonance between Harutaka in mangaroute1 and mangaroute2.

it was a bit confusing. anyway do you prefer the anime or manga's version of takane as she seems to be your favorite character. (for me its gotta be the manga, the anime just did not do it)

the manga is what hooked me too! back in january 2014, there was tiny vinnie binging all the songs and what was available of the manga at the time in just one day...

i think the reason ppl dont recommend the manga as a starting point is the second manga route. personally, i recommend the manga as a starting point but only until volume 4 after the route we start with is over. and then i'd come back to second manga route when im done with everything else!! my kagepro recommendation is 1. songs 2. manga until everyone dies lol 3. novels 4. finish the manga 5. anime.

the thing with the manga is that it doesnt rly go into what the normal route is for very long. we keep saying second manga route but its like, idk MOST of the manga is that route.

i do like the manga for the same reasons as u, but sometimes im a little eh bc of mahiro sato's obvious knkd shipping and stuff lol. and i did write a whole bigass answer abt why i hate what happens to takane's character in haruka's arc in the second route. otherwise i dont mind the difference all that much. and i love her as ene in the rest of it. its just a few things that drive me crazy ok ill just link the post lol sorry i just have. um. strong feelings.

OK UR ACTUAL QUESTION hmmmmm well yea i'd say the manga or novels. i get what u say abt the anime but truly the anime did not do it for any of them LOLL there was barely any time for anything let alone good characterisation. like come on there's 11 main characters and 12 twenty four minute long episodes. wdym u dont like anime takane she was there for like (checks) 40 or 50 min in total?

takane is incredibly sidelined in the anime much like everyone else cuz. lol. AGAIN. kagepro is not somehting u can fit in a 12 ep long anime. yuukei yesterday in the manga and novels goes a lot more in depth about takanes personality and relationship to haruka. not to mention they put kano's little Disguising Myself As Someone Dear To You That You Have Regrets About on her instead of shintaro which was crazy. to me that did so much damage to kano's character. i wouldnt call myself a kano expert bc he's an insanely complicated character to tackle LMAO but... i dont know. i just dont think he would do that to ene. shintaro is one thing, we all know kano's little thing abt shintaro, but ene?? its like, he does that to her BECAUSE of the thing with shintaro. kano's pissed and frustrated at everyone moving on while he's stuck behind and ESPECIALLY at shintaro and takes it out on ene for being the main reason why shintaro is moving on. its a little unfair. i dont think kano would be THAT disconnected to do that. not to mention when he pulls that trick on shintaro he isnt half as harsh as he is on ene!! he just kinda spooks him (tho ofc thats enough to send shintaro spiraling LOL) while to ene he's like YOURE THE WORST FUCK YOU and then the way ene kinda laughs it off after also pisses me off LOL yeah kano could do this im not saying its COMPLETELY ooc but he would be in an incredibly despaired rock bottom moment and he'd be super apologetic about it later. post str kano and takane friendship *holds head*

and if you read the novels and kano's feelings and thoughts over takane it makes me sad that's what they chose to do in the anime bc in the novels kano regards takane as someone he's jealous of bc of how confident she is and "her ability to doubt people" and how he thinks they're similar ppl. like we rly dont give enough credit that TAKANE is the first person kano ever opens up to in his life. he even says the conversation they have might as well be the first conversation he's ever had with anyone, and they both head out to the hideout being the ones who have to admit something to the people dear to them (kano the whole clearing eyes thing to kido, takane the ene thing to shintaro) and its not for no reason!!! kano sees something in takane. he knows theyre similar, but at the same time he is jealous. that together sounds a little like he wishes he could be more like her. OUGH. and how they just chose to translate that whole thing into kano being awful to ene and berating her for trying to save shintaro is soooo fucked up. it bothers me so much. #notmykano

WHY AM I TALKING ABT KANO THIS IS ABOUT TAKANE. OK i was driving my point abt how the anime isnt a good judging point to any of the characters LMAO and i guess i wouldnt be able to tell u which "version" of takane i like best, or anyone for that matter. to me all medias are the same version of the same character. im in too deep all of them. the takane that almost kills kenjirou for outing her as lightning dancer ene is the same takane who admits it by herself. idk. guess its a good question but i dont have a good answer. thats also why i hate second manga route takane bc she does shit i dont think she'd do and it pisses me off LOL

[miss444world]

.

today has rly been the worst day ive had mentally in a bit and its so ridiculous bc nothing like. horribly bad has happened. and yet im caught in this spiral where im convinced everyone i know hates me and does not care about me and im just. so tired of everything . i wish i had normal emotions and the ability to calm myself down but i just dont know how . things have been bad in my head since i woke up today and i dont even know how to describe whats happening i just want a hug and to be told im okay and just. Something that isnt me alone with my thoughts for five minutes

and i wish i had a way to be distracted or cope that doesnt have to be dictated by whatever im fixated on at any given time . hard for ppl to know im struggling and want any kind of reassurance if all i can seem to talk about without crying is some stupid youtube channel or anime (not stupid… just frustrated with myself)

edit: logically i know i am irrational and my friends and bf dont hate me at all but i am so overwhelmed with guilt about the smallest things i do that i myself perceive to be rude after the fact (while no one else thinks i am rude to my knowledge) and it makes me just. talk and talk and talk whenever i try to discuss anything going on in my head because im scared of being mean somehow and the person im talking to leaving and not talking to me again (thanks to my mother who freaks the fuck out at even the slightest implication i think shes wrong or not being nice about something) . i wish my brain and emotions were normal

edit 2: i feel like a failure in every way imaginable and it is hitting me too much today . abandonment issues, eating disorder thoughts, sensory problems, everything. i just want a break and to feel better . last night i almost made myself ***** ** for the first time in a really long time because of how bad and out of control of everything i feel and i dont know what to do to feel better about myself, let alone how i interact with people i love

[livecharliereaction]

manga ep2 big post last one

shes soooooooooooooo

ONE OF THE SCENES EVER LETS COMMENCE though its clear to me now that this probably just straight up didnt happen its only miss servants in the room oh idk about gohda

girl

its so awesome

kumasawa n nanjo corpses disappearing ohhh ur so obvious again some key fuckery though

iconic and i dont use that word often

i love it when they title drop

the pacing is fast as hell sure but like not really in a bad way im taking it as a recap for me anyway + i do rly like the artstyle i mean it

like cmoon. omg

i used to be happy that shes having so much fun but im not sure i want to say that anymore it feels pained. Hm. But i like that shes playing around with it. Actually yeah i think she genuinely is kind of having fun w the game at this stage... Whatever it is its fun to watch its her theater its her stage shes great at it. just look at all the shit she does No locked room mystery where she needs to do all that and at the same time i believe she needs to be doing all that all the time. OK

its about the mirror SHANNONS ASS DOES NOT LOOK RELIEVED LMFAOOOO

i honestly dont remember what else happens now i mean i remember post-game but i feel like someone else will die but i dont remember who. maybe only battler maria rosa remained i dont rmb

shannon i like u so much shannon

oh beatrice people go to war for people like you beatrice

SHANNON SAID SHE WANTS TO HEAR GEORGE SAY HE LOVES HER ONE MORE TIME OH BEATRICE UR SO FUNNY

they match each others nasty

rosas banquet time. another peak scene of the series for sures

font made me giggle

hi girl. ohhh another reason to read higurashi first i remember exactly how seeing this in vn felt

in retrospect theyre so fucking funny in question arcs. they kind of have nothing to do with this game theyre just here to idk. scissor

after erika shows up its all downhill for them too all culminates to that ep8 scene i do love it theyre so much fun its true its true

someones said this before me but something can be said about the language they use to describe their love as witches VS the language they used as satorika something something breaking free from the confines of heteronormative human expectations and its not a matter of "oh we have to be in the closet khyaa #secret #girllove" nuh uh it sort of claws its way into their very feelings and perceptions of themselves and each other and i dont know etc etc etc everyone knows this lambdabern been crazy ok anyway

fun manga im not gonna have a crazy pace but ik theres some differences in ???? ep8 ??? or answer arcs anyway so i def want to read there. specifically interested in 4 and 678 but ill prolly read them all this one at least wasnt very long yup yup ok gn

[harmonicunt]

i rly cant see myself as separate from the primordial soup. every flaw i see in others is a reflection of myself, every joy too. every cruelty, all kindness. so many people see themselves as leaning towards one or another, but thats wrong, isnt it ? we're capable of all, in our own particular ways. youll pin yourself & doom growth if you put yourself in one corner.

narratives about who you are are mostly about who you think you are--and the thinking is only one fractal of it. i think ive been afraid of defining myself by the "doing" part of my existence because for so long i didnt feel like the "doing" was anything important or interesting or fulfilling. i didnt have language to show what it was teaching me, what it really meant--it was all isolation, and boredom, and rage. it was that, and it was more, and now that im still doing many of the same things alongside that which i truly want, which i find self respect in, which i am fulfilled through, i can see how i could've used different language to spin it in a different light, to be less lonely and afraid of myself. as my story evolves and changes each time i tell it, as others' stories of me grow (and i learn to listen to them, and trust them), im open to all the ways i hadn't seen before, and i understand how blind we are to who we are in one particular moment. reflection must come second.

thinking & doing are two pillars of our selves, pillars we learn to build and tear down and build again. i'm trying to figure out where our control over those pillars lie. i know there are more--we are more than what we think and what we do--and i know we can change and reshape them, but the first shaping is amazing to begin with. is the first shaping the one everyone else does when we're young, and we don't know how to do it ourselves? or the one we do when we emerge, when we look at how our pillars been formed for us--a necessary evil, unfortunately,--and we decide that it should be something else, something that belongs to us? some people never make their own, and i think many of them are very unfulfilled. each one is unique. the idea you can control it utterly, shape yourself into anything you want, is partially a false narrative, addressed by the fact that at first we have no control over what shape it takes. then, i think almost everyone finds there is an immutable self they can never put a finger on, no matter how long they circle around it. you repaint, and carve in new grooves, and add height or branches. you circle around a self you won't know until you've found them. we have many methods of circling around to the self, of seeing what fits with the pillar we think we want to create, and then adjusting when we realize that's not quite the look we thought it'd be.

i've employed a few strange ones through my life, one of the most curious that i come back to often being kin & kinning. a sort of pinning that often felt like a chicken/egg situation, even while i was in it i found it fascinating. what i was and what i wanted to be and what i thought i would be (i was kinning when i was 12-16ish, so i wasn't much of anything but a ball of energy and wanting) merged together into these grand pulls to characters who werent necessarily favorites but made me fucking insane because of what of myself i saw in them (sometimes it still happens, but it's gotten weirder and more specific as ive aged, and harder to explain or project to others who dont already know me.)

i dont know where im going with this. can we ever know ourselves if we dont know who we are to others ? if we dont listen to what they say about us? it feels bad when someone doesnt take what youve said about them, compliment or criticism or neutral, seriously. people who ignore compliments or use them to insult themselves, and people who ignore criticism and tell themselves that they are the best at something you have been struggling with them for, convincing themselves that the problems they run into are external and eschewing responsibility. how far can we push our own self actualization before collapsing? how happy can we convince ourselves we are, not knowing the joy on the other side ? what tells us that we're miserable in the shape that's been built for us? why do we all seem to forget from time to time that everyone else has been using the same scale of time that we have been to build theirs? why do we flatten them to the pillar we see in one moment, inconsiderate of what came before ? it's self-centered, and that's seen as very dirty, but we can't be anything but self-centered when we're only in our own heads, right ? generosity, consideration, kindness, respect, so much of that is in the eye of the beholder. what we think of as universally decent can make another think of us as deeply annoying, even rude, culturally or personally. idk. we're all the same and we're all different and it's weird and i could add questions and ponderings to this forever but ill stop here. i love you.

[phagodyke]

well.

[sorikkung]

IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT AFTER REREADING ACT 1 NEW AND IMPROVED W MORE BRAINROT LESGO!!!

ive literally just been sending myself discord messages to a private channel while i read SKFDJGKSJF so here is. the compilation i guess

ok so rereading the first few chapters and. i completely forgot san smiled at mc straight away what was that. was it just bc he thought she was hot or did they already know shed be on that ship i needa know how early the plan was set in action... was this entire stowaway thing staged or was it only when san found her in the cargo bay that they were like yup shes a siren (maybe via seonghwa's siren powers sensing her, or when they took her jacket off to treat her arm maybe they saw the tattoo or sumn) like... i get the feeling they knew long before she first revealed it to anyone, based on how san and seonghwas entire relationships w her were done deliberately to gain her trust, it rly just changes the entire way i view these first few chapters its INSANE. i knew things would be drastically different upon a reread but like THIS different... these first chapters seem so light hearted and almost like, typical scifi story beginnings, like typical not as in bad but just standard for the genre yk, like oooh she impresses the captain and earns her place on the ship and they all have tragic backstories... but now knowing there is So Much More going on underneath makes this so much more sinister its Haunting. i fucking love it

also her saying wooyo looks vaguely familiar got me bc it could so easily be read as her seeing his glimpse of tan skin n dark hair before passing out, but no, that vague familiarity was from her past wasnt it... that first meeting w them hits so different knowing wooyo knows who she is the entire time. my god.

i also wanna note how drastically different the writing feels going back - it was good from the start, but only now that im rereading do i realise how much you've improved over the course of writing?? which is to be expected, writing something for this long, but wow, its cool to see the progression of such improvement yk. you went from good writing to Great writing to Every Fucking Line Is Rewiring My Brain Stem. goals

yeah see seonghwa saying joong doesnt make decisions on a whim and obviously decided she could stay long before he told her... he had to have known she was a siren already, right? like, why else would he decide to let her stay... unless it was just bc shes the ghost of eros and he doesnt know the details of that but like, idk, im not buying it

OH and this is reminding me of another thing i cant tell if this is just a progression of writing thing or if its part of the act they put on but like. san and seonghwa seemed like they felt pretty bad about killing up until this point. like seonghwa on the ship saying they dont have to kill everyone vs san wanting so badly to keep mc alive. this is part of why i think they mustve known she was a siren on that ship somehow bc yeah san did the same thing to jongho but we also know that hongjoong knew abt jongho right away. the san we know now doesnt seem like he holds much remorse for what he does bc hes just the captains loyal black dog… tho i do remember him feeling pretty bad abt it in the earlier chapters, i cant tell if thats just something he worked thru w mc or if it was just part of the act to gain her trust. man. i be doubting EVERYTHING now 😭 😭 😭

god i MISSEDDD the feisty sassy interactions w hwa and the mc omg things have gotten so grim now i literally forgot this was their original dynamic… “You’re so feisty, princess. If I didn’t know how dangerous you truly are, I might ask you to spar with me one day.” “You’re so romantic, pretty boy. I’m sure all the ladies love when you say that.” “All the ladies and men, in fact." i still fucking love that entire exchange its so good i love them

"and yet again you find yourself shocked by the boldness of this crew." i am once again wondering how much of this is just them being flirty bastards and how much of it was a LIE… or at least orchestrated SDKFJHKSDFHKSKFD also “Aren’t you a bit too cheeky for a criminal?” “Is there a special guide I should be following? ‘Proper ways to be a criminal’? Rule number one: don’t be cheeky with princess, it gets on her nerves.” is another really good exchange GOD I RLY FORGOT ABT ALL THIS I MISSED IT SO BAD i do love me some good banter. now when hwa uses the nickname princess it just feels so sad 😭 😭 😭

"It’s the little shit who plugged an anesthesia shot into your neck." i love it when fics refer to wooyo as some little shit or anything along the sorts its like. sooo true bestie i see we are thinking abt the same man <3 i love him sm

damn i forgot wooyoung was this Nervous at first, what was up w that… is it bc mc was there?? cause he seems mighty comfortable w the rest of em now SJKFDGKJSFD but then again that could just be after everything that happened afterwards. now i wonder if the real reason he went into the medbay was bc he missed her or sumn.

NOW I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR WOOYO, SEEING HIS LONG LOST CHILDHOOD FRIEND AND THE FIRST THING THEY WANNA DO IS SOCK HIM IN THE NOSE 😭 😭 😭

“Because you’re only good at causing problems, not fucking solving them." DAMN WTF DID WOOYO DO THAT MADE SAN SO MEAN TO HIM 😭 I DONT REMEEMBER THIS…

“In all the time you have worked together, you should know by now how San behaves and that he says things he doesn’t mean.” this hits a lil different now too, is he actually mad at wooyo or just tryna defend mc…. yeah im rly just here doubting every single interaction they have now SJDFKKJSFDHKSDF

"his amount of respect for his captain seemed lackluster at best." LMFAO IF ONLY SHE KNEW. ok so this fr has to be an act bc san would do anything hongjoong asked of him, so this is obviously him tryna appeal to mc as someone who also doesnt always agree w authority so she can confide in him, right?

"Yeosang won the mental battle. He wormed his way into San’s mind and won that way." at… telling him to shut the fuck up?? 😭 😭 howd That worm into his mind 😭

"you seem a bit more like the type who needs to be put in place rather than the other way around.” i rmb first reading this and thinking DAMN that is so ballsy for a man like yeosang to say, but is he just comfortable around her real quickly bc he knew her already. or, well, not comfortable, but comfortable enough to tease her like that hskdfgkjskdjfgsdf

“Oh? I didn’t know that you were an Elitist." yeosang you little shit SDFKJGKSDFKHSFJKDH

this whole interaction with yeosang is sending me now that i know he knows… my god hes such a little SHIT JDKFGKSDFKH

"For someone who is supposed to be a traitor, he sure seems to have a lot of pride in his home and military…" and now im wondering if yeosang really is still prideful which is. entirely possible and i could be reading too far into it or. is he tryna jog a memory….

“You seem to be the type to balance him out with calmness and humility. At least that’s the aura I get from you. Yeosang always feels so angry but you exude the opposite of that.” this bitch? mc? ghost of eros? CALM? SFDKJHSKDFHKSFDK girlies been tryna question n fight every bitch since being put on the ship but like, sure, i guess… lmfaoooo

"You can only hope that he somehow missed the marking on your back." suppose theres a chance he saw it here, but… i doubt it my bets are still on he knew the whole time shkdjfgksdf but i will see if he pays more/different attention to her after this 👁️

“Good girl. See, we can make you obedient yet.” yeah even with the context of all the future chapters what the everloving FUCK was THAT. are he and wooyoung not together already yet no they were together since long before the horizon right. i still dont know what hes playing at here flirting w her so much 😭

“Before it’s all over? How do you think this is going to end, Y/n?” how does HE think its gonna end? do he and wooyo and the others know what the big 3 were plotting to get to our ghost? i was under the impression only they knew about the whole deception to earn her trust thing, esp given how hongjoong treats yunho and manipulates him i figured the others would be the same but like… what answer is yeosang expecting to hear, here?

"And Hongjoong certainly isn’t the type to keep slaves, despite how he might come across sometimes. There’s a difference between being harsh and inhumane.” me when i manipulate peoples feelings, insecurities, trauma and relationships but i draw the line at keeping slaves… SDFKJGJKSDFKJHSDKJF i think hes still harsh and inhumane babes but ok!

“I know one thing for certain. You are not an Elitist.” yeah so he TOTALLY knew she was a siren i forgot abt this SJKDFKJHSKJDFH but hes waiting for her to say it herself, isnt he?

“I have studied Elitists in the past, and I am one myself." no the fuck you aint. SDFKJHKSJFHKJSFDKJHSKFD i used to think joong might be a siren as well himself but seonghwa would know if he was after sleeping w him so long and he still said without mc they only have One siren so… either hes a spectre, which, has no reason to hide from everyone i dont imagine, or hes a normie… my bets are on normie. so used to not being taken seriously for his class that he keeps it a secret and has a need to prove himself. honestly with the new interim id almost believe hongjoong was an elitist More if it werent for yeosang saying theres only one real elitist on the ship and its him SDFKJHSKFHKSDF

reading the first interims now and… man its crazy to think how Soft hongjoong was at the start. he was still cutthroat and ruthless, but he seems so much smaller here. like between this interim and the latest hongjoong interim, you can really tell just how far down he's spiralled. its fascinating. i love character development for the worse <3

goddamn all his worry about his crew members and being scared of breaking their trust… wheres this energy w ghosty SDKFJGKSJFGKSFDKG how far he's fallen fr…

"I don’t know how to fix him. I need to fix him. I need to help him. I just have to do something.” and he calls out mc for having a saviour complex… 🤭

anyway that was my rereading experience but heres some anecdotes from my two friends i dragged into it who Also happened to just finish act 1 and its interims around the same time

>friend 1 messages me randomly "this fic is getting me emotional wtf" and changes the topic when i ask them to elaborate KSJDFGKJ

they then (the next day) send me this screenshot followed by "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

and this one followed by "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK"

then i asked what they think of it overall so far and they said is very good, theyre excited for the pace to pick up!

meanwhile friend number 2 was going thru it so i am suppling screenshots (mind the lack of cohesion theres conversations in between some of these but im tryna cap just whats strictly relevant LMFAO)

(this was the screenshot they attached w the withered wojack)

anyway if these friends r seeing this sorry for exposing u lol but i am at least preserving ur anonymity to a number <3 actually wait you shouldnt be reading this bc mad spoilers. well ANYWAY. i imagine the only one reading this far is the author so caly i hope this brings u some modicum of joy <3 KSJFDJGKSDFKJ onto the next act!! 🤩🤩🤩

tbh it was rly good timing that we all finished the act around the same time i have no idea what im gonna do when the reading inevitably gets disjointed (haha unless...?) i guess id chuck those into your ask box??? or would dming you be ok. man either way i am flooding the fuck outta ur notifs lately and i apologise do lmk if you want me to slow down SKDJFGJKSFKDJGSKJFD hope ur having a good day regardless :>

mists of celeste ➻ one

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, eventual smut ➻ Word Count: 4.5k ➻ Rating: M ➻ Warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you 

⇐ previous | next ⇒

mists of celeste act one ➻ part one

‎

“You said that you’re with the military? I don’t recall the military having ships as small as yours.” If possible, your eyes would roll all the way back in your head at the man’s comment. Instead, you plaster a smile on your lips, gaze flitting around the bridge as you do. 

“Yes, Ambassador Salvadore. They sent me on a transport ship, as I am here to relieve the captain of his duties—”

“That is not necessary, Miss.”

“—on military orders, Ambassador.” Your grin continues to stretch as you gauge the state of the bridge. It is severely lacking in terms of soldiers, which is good for you on multiple fronts, but the ambassador before you is proving to be more difficult than you first anticipated.

Keep reading

[lustbile]

ah yes my presence has been requested but like…… do u wanna know sexually, romatically or just in general???? jaehyun is…. smthin else LOL like he gives me idgaf vibes but also gives me like ultimate form of romance vibes….. maybe its bc hes an aqua sun but has a taurus moon and pisces rising…. but he also has an aqua venus so likely he would make u chase him lol. def the type to pretend he isnt THAT interested and in all realness probably thinks that open affection and trusting others doesnt seem that safe…. like on one hand hes rly a romantic guy but can also be detached and/or unpredictable!! he has a leo lillith which is insane to me and tells me alot abt him actually, very provocative and visually and sexually appealing (as we all know LOL what a man) hes an aqua stellium which literally just means Emotionally Stunted and Hates Everyone and hes actually rly introverted and easily annoyed by ppl, does not like talking abt how hes feeling (wow an aquarius not liking their own feelings??? shocker) his taurus moon and pisces rising combo r what make him a romantic, w his taurus moon in the second house he tends to only rly entertain/make the first move in a relationship only if hes sure the other party likes him first lol. hes actually very dependant on positive feedback and often looks for admiration but hes also very capable and loyal which is so sweet :,) on the neg side tho w his moon square venus his emotional and romantic needs can actually cause tensions,, and he may not know what he wants. bc of his auqa venus he can come off as stand-offish, is threatened by restrictions of any kind, and will also need his own space. unfortunately, (this is NOT a reflection of him at all, just an observation of this placement in his chart.) he could have affairs, as it is hard for him to define his own boundaries and can get hurt in love very easily. marraige may not be for him, tbh. long distance relationships may seem more attainable or desirable to him tho!! v uncomfortable w grand shows of emotions. hes honestly very open-minded and sees the world the way he wants,, n both his appearances and mannerisms make him quite intriguing to others. (bc of his pisces rising!! honestly not surprised that hes a pisces rising bc he has a v piscean/water sign face/look) sexually hes actually rly more likely to be more into unconventional things, i think. in sex i dont THINK he has a chance of being submissive, if at all. he’s dominant for sure, but not in the way johnny or yuta are. jaehyun idealizes sexuality and love, but hes actually rly rly passionate. i def think hes into your basic rougher kinks: choking, biting, scratching, etc. probably enjoys a bit of slapping, maybe degradation too. could probably into pet play. (puppy moreso than kitten, imo) following on that, probably is elated to let other nct members see you like that. would probably have you sit at his feet in lingerie w your tail and ears, a pretty collar and leash attached to your neck while he has company. it brings out that obsessive need for him to control, and absolutely drives him nuts (especially knowing in the back of his mind that you love and trust him so much that you would let yourself be put in this situation in the first place and enjoy it just as much as he does). i dont think he would ever share, tho, or let anyone watch him fuck you. he seems more like someone who would enjoy sir and master more than daddy when it comes to titles. wants to hear you vocalize everything. affirmations, answering his questions, dissatisfactions, everything. i dont think he’s loud. probably more likely to grunt and growl, and maybe youll get a deep, languide moan when he cums. i do think he’s into somnophilia, the idea of you giving him that level of control, letting him use you like a fleshlight probably rly, rly gets him going. a TEASE. im not a jae bias, but thinking abt him pressing you into the matress w his hand on the back of ur neck and just lowley telling u how bad he wants you, teasing abt how needy u are for his dick. (continuing in another ask lol rip)-🪐

— 🪐

I’m gonna put the other message in a readmore just so they can be in the same post

-

-

-

is probably into non-con and honestly, more likely to be into dubcon as hes probably a horny ass bitch. could be into period sex, knife play, and asphyxiation play. would absolutely be the typa man to push your face into his pelvis while you suck him off and plug your nose. thrives off the choking noises you make and the whimper you let out when you pull off his dick and he gives u a lil slap on the face. i feel like jae is on another level when it omes to being freaky, you just have to drag it out of him. theres alot of layers to this man and honestly if you want a relationship w him be prepared to put in WORK lol bc (based on his chart, ffs dont attack me for saying this) any type of insecurities where you get jealous/defensive will probably make him vanish into thin air. will probably let problems sit and rot before confronting them. will be more likely to walk out than to fix things unless hes like RLY in love with you. like i said, be prepared to put in work lol. jaehyun is an enigma but he has such potential to be an incredible partner, lover, and best friend. (also this is the first time im ~actually~ looking at his chart lol dont @ me if some things r wrong or off!!!)

[ayyezhongli]

dom student council pres zhongli x troublemaker childe

Guess who’s back :D Back with some zhonchi smut for all u sinners. Note: Theres a lot of spelling errors bc when i wrote this i was telling it to a friend n they said i should post this n i’m too lazy to edit it so yeah! enjoy <3

summary kinda: child did something n is now stuck in detention with zhongli being a kinky president of the student council watching him.

so childe is bored asf n tries seducing zhongli. but childe has always had a crush on zhongli. thats why he misbehaves to get his attention.

so zhongli says “ur here again” n sighs

“yup did you miss me?! dont answer that bc ik you did”

n zhongli sighs again all annoyed n shit

“seems you never learn”

“maybe i’m jus here bc i love n want to see you everyday”

n zhongli taking that as sarcasm rolls his eyes

“i doubt that.”

and so for like 30mins childe is making all these noises to get zhongli’s attention and annoy him which it works. and zhongli having enough of it already decides that he needs to be punished. so he gets up n walks over to the desk childe is sitting at cups his face with his hand grinning

“u rly like to get on my nerves dont you~…..” and childe’s tryna contain himself

“is it working~?”

“idk pretty boy….wanna find out for urself~…..”

n zhongli is like inches away from childe’s face. n childe still keeping his composure decides to tease back hoping to get what he’s longed for for so long.

“idk do i~?….”

and zhongli leans in n jus as hes abt to kiss childe he pulls away and walks back over to the teachers desk and childe is really disappointed bc he thought he finally had it but jus lost it. so zhongli goes back to working on his paperwork while childe is just furious.

”Is this how u treat everyone?! tease them and leave them with nothing. take advantage of us!!”

n zhongli bursts out laughing putting his papers in a neat stack

”ur quite interesting childe, if i said it was jus u would that make u feel better??”

and childe huffs rolling his eyes still rly pissed off.

“did u want more? were you expecting something more from me? something else?”

n childe blushing looks away

“fuck off”

n zhongli gets mad at the response and pulls out one of those long ass rulers n gets up n starts walking to childe.

“thats no way to speak to the student council president. you need to be punished”

so zhongli sets the ruler aside still pissed asf

“get up.” childe ignores.

”get up right now.” childe still ignores.

so zhongli grabs the ruler smacking it against the desk childe is at.

“GET UP RIGHT NOW!”

n childe jumps a little and gets up

“ok ok chill”

so childe walks over to zhongli n stands in front of him.

“im gonna punish n force you into submission until u completely submit to me”

childe laughs

“no way. you really think u can do that? just try”

“oh i will. just watch me”

(a/n: in this fic childe has bright pink sensitive nipples bc ughh 😩🤌🏾 well both of them have bright pink nipples but zhonglis r rly sensitive.)

so zhongli turns childe around n starts grinding against him causing childe to moan ever so slightly.

“do u like that~?”

n childe tryna keep his composure laughs to cover up a moan. n zhongli looks down and grins seeing childe’s hard erection through his clothes.

so zhongli reaches down n starts palming childe causing slightly louder moans to come out of his mouth.

“your so hard for me childe….what a naughty slutty little boy~“

childe loses it bc zhongli is finally saying the things he’s been dreaming of him saying. so zhongli amused starts licking the shell of his ear biting and nibbling it which makes childe blush harder. so zhongli reaches his hand down into childe’s pants and boxers and wraps his hand around childe’s dick which he almost cums. so zhongli starts pumping him n not even 30s he throws his head back on zhonglis shoulder n cums letting out a loud moan

“fuck zhongli~…..”

zhongli smirks very amused

“so quick to cum~ do i rly turn u on that much~?”

n childe fights the urge to nod his head and submit. he’s not going down without a fight.

“no i was just pent up. why would i be for someone like you!!”

zhongli snickers and slides his hands up childes shirt n starts taking it off.

“not submitting yet i see~….”

“did u think it would be that easy asshole? ha!”

so zhongli turns childe around.

“you should just give up now! your not go-“

n zhongli interrupts him with a passionate kiss. a long deep one filled with sexual tension n desire. he leaves childe blushing like crazy and gasping for air.

“what was that? i didnt catch the last part, say that again.”

“i said that i’m never gonna sub-“

n zhongli interrupts him again. same thing happens like 2 more times until childe gives up.

“can u repeat that one more time?”

and childe looks away with a annoyed expression on his face

“glad that shut u up~”

so then zhongli looks childe up and down bites his lip causing childe to blush.

“you’re kinda cute…i think i can use u….”

n childe blushes more

“and these nipples….”

zhongli says while pinching them making childe arch his back and moan loudly.

“they look pink and innocent…but when i pinch n twist them like this…”

childe lets out n even louder moan with a face flushed even more n drool running down the side of his mouth

“….you make such naughty noises and that really turns me on.”

and so zhongli continues pinch n play with them and then starts marking his neck.

“what if i made u mine hmm? my little fuck toy? or how abt pet?? you could be of some use to me….”

and all childe can do is whimper. so zhongli has him bend over on the teachers desk and pulls down childe’s pants. and he like squeezes childes plump round ass and caresses it before grabbing the ruler and spanking him with it which causes childe to moan n cum immediately.

“ur such a slutty masochist”

n childe groans n is like stuttering his words

“w-w-well ur so fucking sadis-���

n zhongli spanks him not with the ruler this time but his hand n childe jus looses it.

“ready to submit….?”

n childe tryna keep the ounce of pride he has left shakes his head.

“no!”

zhongli spanks him again.

“how abt now?”

“No!”

n so zhongli gets an idea n sticks his fingers inside childe’s mouth.

“suck”

childe does so n a minute later zhongli pulls them out.

“what are you gonna d- ahh!”

and zhongli’s fingers are wiggling around inside childe tryna get him prepared. childe has just completely lost it. he’s drooling all over the desk, moaning so loudly that if there was people here they would be able to hear, clinging onto the edge of the desk like his life is on the line.

“f-fuck zhongli…ahhh”

he’s a panting slutty mess. a fee mins later zhongli pulls his fingers out n takes off his own pants and boxers lining himself up to childes entrance. he inserts only the tip of his dick causing childe to go even more crazy if thats even possible n moan so fucking loud. but its been long enough. he wants more. more of zhongli inside him. he wants all. all of zhongli inside him. so he whimpers n cries out zhongli’s name.

“whats the problem sweetheart?”

zhongli says grinning from ear to ear.

“pls..”

childe says desperately

“pls what?”

”pls zhongli i-….”

“you…? gotta tell me what u want otherwise i wont know.”

“pls i want more of u….!!”

“beg for more than.”

“Zhongli pls i want ur cock inside me so bad. pls i’ll do anything!! just fuck me already!!”

“anything…?”

zhongli says slipping half way inside him.

“y-y-yes just pls fuck me!!”

n zhongli, a very satisfied man jus starts pounding into him hitting his g spot every time.

“Fuck! fuck! fuck! FUCK! ZHONGLI PLS SLOW DOWN AHH~!!”

n that only makes zhongli speed up and childe cums like multiple times. after a while, giving a few last thrusts zhongli comes for the second time inside childe. and pulls out while childe just drops to the floor completely unable to move or anything. jus a panting blushing hot slutty mess with zhongli’s cum dripping out of him. all pride lost. pulling his pants and boxers back on zhongli lifts him up to his feet and bc childe has no strength he just falls onto zhongli resting his head on his shoulder.

“now that you’ve completely submit to me, ur all mine~….mine to do whatever i pls with. mine and only mine. No one else….”

and childe jus nods groaning bc of the pain.

”i hope u learned ur lesson now. unless…. you wanna comeback again for another visit…”

n childe jus groans again.

“i see the way you look at me childe….a look filled with lust and desire…its really quite a turn on~….. you look so desperately….so needy….so vulnerable…the amount of times i wanted to bend you over and fuck u so hard until you cant walk is too much to count. i wanted to make you mine so no one else could have that innocent slutty little boy who’s just oozing with sexual desire. any man or woman would get turned on n wanna have there way with you. u needed to be protected and only by me.”

so zhongli grinds his teeth bc of how possessive he is.

“so no one but me can fuck u stupid. and now that ur finally mine…i dont have to worry abt it so much as before”

n so zhongli strokes childe’s hair n plants a kiss on his head.

“you’re my precious little play thing.”

and childe, burying his face into zhongli’s chest smiles bc thats all he ever wanted. and then he looks up at zhongli as zhongli looks down at him smiling.

“zhongli…?”

”yes?”

“if all u said was true….why were u such an asshole to me. you were stricter on me than others, ruder to me than others, tougher on me then others….so why?”

“why?”

zhongli chuckles n childe nods

“to keep a good reputation, but i also wanted to push you, everytime u got angry and gave me attitude it only turned me on. which is why i kept going….does that answer ur question?”

n childe grunts

“u sadistic fuck!”

n zhongli laughs

“says the one who got turned on every time i public humiliated or yelled at you….”

“thats not true!!”

“uh-huh…the sexual energy u admit would become stronger and i could hear your breathing getting heavier with breathy tiny moans and u would always part ur lips slightly and rub ur thighs together and on top of that, ur eyes squint ever so slightly.”

childe was speechless bc this whole time he thought he was being slick.

“w-w-well that doesnt matter!”

childe said huffing and zhongli only chuckled and kissed his head.

“hey childe…”

“what!”

“i love you….”

childe was blushing like crazy. never in a million years did he think zhongli would say that.

“you can’t just go randomly saying those things?!!”

childe said burying his face deeper into zhonglis chest.

“b-but i love you too i guess…”

he mumbled and zhongli smirked.

“look at me.”

childe looked up into zhonglis ambers eyes embarrassed asf.

“wh-wh-what is it?”

“you’re really cute yk.”

n zhongli leaned down slightly and kissed him before he could say anything else. the end :)

thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed even though its formatted weird and kinda sorta a story. 🥰

[pizzapizzadickz]

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[meltwonu]

work drama before I actually update masterlists 

(this is fucking LONG btw)

I think in my initial post I called her my ‘work friend’... um, we are not friends any longer ☠️

lmao uh basically, after that first initial post I made back in like sept? oct? when we got promoted, she was actually spoken to by our manager bc she was rly abusing her position over the new hires at work and they were starting to feel uncomfortable so we all ended up saying something and when she was spoken to then, she tried to play it off like “omg dude I got in so much trouble lol” even tho... that was technically the second time she had to be spoken to abt her attitude bc she was spoken to about it once before I got hired and we only got hired 2 months apart so... that wasn’t even a long time but anyway, she seemed to calm down a little after then - mostly bc I think she got scared?

but anyway fast forward to maybe nov and she's making all sorts of weird comments about my appearance and ykno I was going in to the office to work so she was seeing me irl and making comments about how I dress lazy (we dont have a uniform or dress code so???? what does it matter???) or that her “ clothes are so HUGE on her now but maybe they’ll fit me if I wanted them” or comments about how I had to do my hair roots bc they were growing in, etc. just rly petty comments that I brushed off bc they're so childish? like, who fucking cares???

BUT THEN fast forward to dec, around the same time I got into my car accident, I kind of backed off of work for a little bit and took on less projects just to give myself time to heal and just, not think about so much at once and to not give myself too much stress while I tried to figure out what was going on with my car and my insurance which - they didn't do anything about it so I have no car and no money for a new car :’) - and she started making comments like “woooow your project numbers are so low???” BUT we’re allowed to check our stats(its just project numbers and the money we bring in per project) but it’ll always show everyone else's stats too and it’s meant to just be like... for ourselves so we can see how we’re doing but it’s never MEANT to be to compare to anyone else so the fact she was pulling MY numbers at a time when she knew I was already going through a lot and slowing down on work while I sorted the other parts of my life???? but I still fucking didn't say anything bc, again, petty childish bs that I didn’t care about lol

the final straw was her making rly weird insinuating comments about me and one of our male coworkers cuz him and I worked on a lot of projects together before and after all this happened and he’s rly close to me bc we’re same age and just all around kind of the same person and he knows everything I'm going through so he helps me out a lot but she kept making comments insinuating there was something going on between us which a. we’re not allowed to date coworkers and I wouldn’t want to anyway??? b. im not interested in him like that?????? and c. he has a girlfriend??? so for her to be like ooooh you guys are spending an AWFUL lot of time together/must be nice to spend so much alone time together/etc. kind of made me feel rly icky???? so I spoke to our asm about it bc I was like, just weirded out BUT I also mentioned all of the previous things mentioned here, among other things that were also petty asf and she was like WHY HAVE U NEVER REPORTED ALL OF THIS (I did the first time just not everything cuz I kept forgetting everything she did bc there's just so MANY)

and then the tldr is that I finally had to speak to my manager about it which then prompted a meeting with our district manager(who already knew my coworker was a problem so lol...) and I was kind of trying to downplay it, honestly, bc I was like “its just petty nonsense that I dont really think twice about, it was just the weird insinuating comments that I am uncomfortable with bc it involves someone I DO consider a close friend and its not fair to either of us that she’s saying this stuff” and they considered it sexual harassment so... yeah... I mean I'm not surprised either, bc she’s not making these comments towards anyone else and also our manager reconsidered her promotion bc she's proven that she's not mature enough to be in the position so she was demoted until she can learn how to respect everyone in the workplace so she’s most likely taking it out on me bc I'm now in a higher position than her and in less time but... that’s because I minded my business? she literally could've just minded her own business and none of this would’ve happened but bc she decided to be petty and fucking weird, now all of this is happening AND our manager does not tolerate any of it so... yea,,,,, I said everything that I had to say and even tried to make it sound not as bad and my manager kind of gave me this weird look like “but you still dont have to hear it from anyone, its not okay” and I was just like yeah... thats true too 🥲 I've just experienced a lot of life trauma so I didn't think much of it but she’s right, I shouldn’t have to put up with this when I'm not even doing anything to deserve this kind of treatment. 

and to put the final note on it, they updated me earlier today that they’ve already spoken to her and she’s pissed, obviously. she blocked me on all the social media that we had each other on and my manager told me that if she tries to speak to me or tries to retaliate, she’ll be fired so... yep that’s not rly what I was expecting but it is what it is lol 

there’s probably some details I missed but its just been ALOT to go over in the last two days tbh.. I didn't expect it to be this bad but bc she’s already been spoken to in the past, I think they're just prioritizing it and making sure it gets handled asap which I appreciate that my peers actually care about me like they do but 😮‍💨 it’s fuckin exhausting I literally do not rest ever lol