#...really. it feels like that some days. i just dont wanna see another human being for a while.

[tea-and-secrets]

dont wanna rush you mod but i need advice for real before tomorrow night

this is a long ramble im so high + freaking out + need advice so damn bad last night i got way too high drank one + a half bottles of cheap gross wine + ate way fucking too much taco bell + tried to suck my own cock + turns out i can get at the head im flexible af im a career poledancer + got hyper mobility bs + not to brag too much but my dicks too long to be near normal so thankfully i can reach + truly is a shame im strictly a bottom but put that side note aside for a sec ignore the cock brag im still too high i smoked way too much this morning + im hung over + freaking out but ignore it all 'cause that fuck ass $60 ish worth of taco bell i scarfed down half an hour before i started the blowing must have decided on violence 'cause tragedy unfolded right when i shot my load a second type of blowing attacked me i shat myself real bad like explosive diarrhea after being constipated for days it was kinda a relief feeling to my body to be honest but put it aside guys i shat massively right in my bed the pink stuffed cat my mom gave me when i came out as gay was a casualty im still grieving her genuinely rest in peace winnie i pray i can get you clean but thats beside the point + i was sitting there with my own cum all over my face + some in my hair + actual liquid shit on my thighs + sitting in a puddle of my own bodily waste but now my one and only bedsheet i own which is or i guess was cute as fuck all light colours with hello kitty patterns on it has a gigantic disgusting horrific huge brown stain with matching splatter stains all around it like the war crime of my mancunt is so damn obvious theres no possible way to mistake that stain for anything else + even though i sprinted to wash the sheet mere seconds after the flood ceased after i swiftly wiped my poor bottom half enough not to drip as i ran the stain wont fucking leave what do i do i have the hottest bear in the solar sytem coming over tomorrow night 7 pm we just went steady hes coming over to abuse my prostate til i cry + then cuddle my twink ass to sleep + only 6 dollars in my account + car broke down on thursday + no second hand stores i can walk or bus to so i cant get new sheets even for cheap + i could not stand to fucking cancel on him i love him so damn much + our work schedules mean we only see each other once a damn month or sometimes twice if god takes pity on his fags + im actually crying in anxiety i havent seen another human being irl face to face in 32 days i work from home + everyones busy i feel like im gonna die if i cant see the living work of art that is my boyfriend + i need that strap impaling me + i need those hairy tits smothering me half to death + i mean i doubt hed think less of me or leave me over anus disaster stains but id rather take a swim with cement shoes than embarrass myself in front of him + hed probably not want to fuck and cuddle me on the manhole blast stained hello kitty bedsheets i really wouldnt blame him + chat i for real think im starting to have a whole panic attack for the love of christ somebody help

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[mybrainisslowlyboiling]

Harker headcanons 👹👹

And my own words come back to haunt me once again.

But here you go!

Yaelokre • Harker Headcannons

I believe The Croon and The Bellringer would be the best at caring for children (in that the Croon would theoretically be good at it but wouldn't really care enough about anyone who wasn't Perrine).

The Bellringer would be very caring and loving and gentle but would 100% pull a Rose from Steven Universe and let a baby climb a ferris wheel "because they wanted to".

The Croon, on the other hand, is very apathetic and abrasive, but believe it or not, a good listener. They would definitely sit and listen to a child's ramblings with rapt attention.

They would also probably be the only Harker to ya know, know well enough to not let a child die. (In my mind the Harkers fall into the foolish god trope where they know NOTHING of mortality and humans and it's very funny).

TLDR: Need a babysitter? Don't call the Harkers. Your child is NOT surviving.

Call the Lark, they'd probably also let your baby climb a ferris wheel but they have the plot armor to get away with it.

The Harkers will just randomly show up at the Lark's home and just hang around for the day, and I mean that quite literally. They'll just show up and follow around their specific ward for a while.

(In all honesty, they love them so much they have to refrain from showing up too often, as they are convinced being around too much will cause the Lark to grow reliant and branch off from one another and disrupt The Order.)

Cole and Clém are always very excited when Story and Yarrow show up. They'll play games with them whilst showing them cool things they've found and relaying stories of their recent adventures.

Perrine views The Croons arrival as some sort of doomsday warning and will start freaking out internally. (cue Grunkle Stan stocking up on canned food and telling everyone to bury their gold).

Most of the time The Croon will visit its really just to see what Perrine's up to, but it's not really Perrine's fault for being scared either. As instead of just showing up in their house one morning to say hello like Story and Yarrow, Perrine will just wake up one morning and look out their window to find The Croon just staring at them from across a field, or poking their head out from in-between trees.

Bro is NOT here for social interaction. They just wanna see how their little scrumbly is doing.

Everytime Kingsley wakes up to find the fucking Storyteller standing in their kitchen or something they get a little salty.

"Bro, what are you even DOING here?"

(This one is mostly a joke in actuality, Kingsley loves each Harker equally and swears that they are here to bless Kingsley themselves personally every time one visits even if it has NOTHING to do with them)

The only time the Enkindled really comes by is during group efforts when even The Croon is forced to socialize (much to their dismay, the croon doesn't care about any of these other mistakes they call children), that or if Kingsley was in some kind of distress or impending danger.

Kindle is the most protective over their ward (in terms of honor anyway)

"You CANNOT speak of my ward like that!"

"When's the last time you've even SEEN THEM?!"

The Croon isn't as juvenilely defensive of Perrine in conversation but will kill every other organism in the galaxy and lay them at Perrine's feet without even being prompted.

Kindle and The Croon believe they are each the most normal of the Harkers respectively. Cause how could it possibly be The Storyteller or The Bellringer? Those disgusting lovebirds going on picnic dates in fields of flowers and collecting little rocks and trinkets to give to the children. It's an abomination.

I dont quite know how this would work or why, but I believe the Harkers have some kind of spiritual connection with each of their respective Larks. They can sense when they're in danger or scared or in pain, or even when they're overwhelmingly happy.

I imagine any time any of them feel some type of emotion from their lark, all they want to do is go to them. But, oh no, the nonexistent Order.

"They'll work it out themselves and become stronger for it"

*Cue Cole fucking drowning in quicksand or something*

The Croon does not abide by The Order, they are overly attached and won't admit it.

Kindle has the opposite problem.

Croon: Aren't you going to check on your ward?

Kindle: Nah, they're tough, they'll figure it out.

Yarrow: With all due respect we all have an overwhelming sense of dread and death, you should see to that they're alright.

Kindle: Hey, I said they'll be- *gets knocked out and dragged*

As much as The Croon does not care about Kingsley, they hate the idea of the Enkindled not doing their job even more.

I also imagine this as The Harker's just going about their day. Yarrow and Story will be on a nice walk and then all of a sudden Story just fucking collapses to the ground. Yarrow is so confused and only mildy worried meanwhile Cole's having a panic attack and is convinced the world is ending.

Like Clémentine, Yarrow can be quite affectionate.

When they come by, they'll pull Clém into their lap as they talk to them and kiss the top of their head.

This would be very sweet, if only Story hadn't seen and decided they wanted to do the same.

Story is just a silly little guy who loves all these silly little children, and is oblivious to their silly little acts, not quite having the desired effect.

To put it simply... an act once perceived as so sweet is actually rather jarring coming from the silly little hay man.

Story: *picks each child up whilst squeezing them aggressively and placing kisses on the crowns of their heads.*

Cole: *bewildered and dazed*

Kingsley: *now has hay stuck in their hair*

Perrine: ....thanks..

Bonus from the last headcannons post: The Storyteller with children:

[platoapproved]

As a lesbian to a lesbian. Do you ever feel like youre missing a MAJOR point of the iwtv characters? Dont get me wrong im DEF obsessed with them and love them dearly. But the other day i saw a picture pf sam reid with short hair and was like “ah!! Scary!! What did they do to my boy!! I cant look at him like That” and then. I realized that hes actually probably very conveniently attractive like that?? AND AND AND like when everyone is just obsessed with these characters im like “oh hell yeah theyre pretty!! What interesting character design i cant look away! Wait wdym you wanna WHAT TO THAT MAN” like i just FORGET so often and i think my experience is fundamentally different from some peoples lmao

In the nicest way possible dear anon - can't relate to this at all! I am another person whose experience is fundamentally different to yours, even though we are both lesbians 😂 Life's a rich tapestry and all that.

For me, when I am engaging with fiction - whether it's a TV show or novel or anything - a HUGE part of the joy is fully leaving behind my own mind and identity and experience of the world. Simply put, there is no 'I' for me when I am watching IWTV or thinking about it or engaging with the fandom. It's completely disconnected from me as a human being and my experiences in the real world and the real life relationships I choose to seek out. Which is great! Because I love getting a break from those things and plunging head-first into something different and moving and narratively compelling.

So no, I don't really feel like I'm missing anything at all!

I would in fact easily and gleefully categorize myself as one of the 'everyone' who is 'just obsessed with these characters'! And I don't see that as incompatible with being a lesbian at all!

I LOVE when my mutuals, however they identify, tag gifsets/pics/whatever of IWTV men with things so filthy they could strip paint from a wall. I love that tumblr is a place where people can gleefully share their unhinged horny thoughts about fictional dudes and it makes me so happy seeing people expressing themselves in that way. There is no 'what do you mean' for me! I'm over here like, "yeah? tell me more! 😏"

The idea that any of this would be unavailable to me because I am a lesbian is very strange to me, and honestly a little sad. It seems limiting to me. It's one thing to just not enjoy / connect with something, but... idk. 🤷‍♀️

[walli3darl1ng]

Can you imagine the casts reactions to a human (gender neutral) reader whos covered in tattoos? Like, theyre totally used to people being gray, yellow, pink, etc but theyve never seen anyone with such vibrant, intricate patterns on their skin (who dont have fur or feathers)! I imagine them all assuming for a long time that its completely normal and natural for humans, until the reader says something like “oh yeah, this one really hurt to get, but it was worth it!” And everyone is bewildered. (This is moreso like a “group reaction” thing but you can make it one on one with any characters you want!)

( I really like this idea! I would like to think the crew would like just think you are the embodiment of a coloring book XD enjoy!)

For as long as you can remember you’ve always been with the neighborhood of small alive and moving puppets. Now for how you got here you have no clue. No complaints from you that’s for sure, you felt like home here. More so then in your own world.

Everyone sees you as an equal unique and special in your own way and that for once feels so good. Despite being covered mostly neck to toe in tattoos.

Everyone didn’t think nothing of it. They all thought that’s how all humans come as, kinda like a birth mark. All different but would be born with it.

You were helping Howdy put up some things on the self as Wally come trotting in and greeting you two. “Howdy, neighbor! Howdy, Howdy,” he laughs. “Ha. Ha. Ha. I said Howdy twice.”

You laugh and waves at Wally. Seeing Julie and sally walking over as well. “Hi guys! How’s it going?”

“Hi, (Y/n)! You helping Howdy?”

“Yup we just finished for the day.” Howdy smiles as you sit down and stretch, your tattoos are kinda hard to hide so they are always on full display and everyone is so mesmerized by it. All the different colors and lines, dark spots and shapes. Really cool.

“(Y/n) I’m always amazed at your marking, they just look so cool!” Sally gushes as she runs her finger along the lines of your arm as you smile at her.

“Awe, really? Thank you, I really like them too,” you show one that’s in your wrist. “This one was a little hard to do, it was difficult to get the lines straight.”

You point on another that’s on your shoulder. “This one I would say took the longest in doing, a lot of shading but this one,” you show another one that’s closer to your knee not noticing the confusion the puppets are giving you. “This one was the worse! I was in so much pain when I was getting it done but gosh was it worth it, look at it, it looks so dope.”

Finally you glance to your friends and stop when you see them give you worried and scared expressions. “Uh…what’s wrong? Did I say something..”

“They…hurt? How?”

“Because they’re tattoos..? It’s ink that gets stabbed into my skin..?” You were as lost as them right now. You genuinely thought they knew that you weren’t born with all this.

“What!”

You flinch back at the outburst and give a nervous chuckle.

“Wait, you get stabbed with ink?! Why would you do that?”

“Who gets stabbed with ink?”

You look over to see Frank, Eddie and Barnaby walking toward you and Julie jumps to tell them the news.

“(Y/n)’s marking are stabbed into them with ink to make their marking!”

You try to calm everyone down, now finding this all funny in someways even cute that they’re concerned about how you got your ‘markings’. “Okay guys, it’s okay, not all of them hurt, just some.”

“Are you sure? Do they hurt now?” Howdy asks, holding Wally from getting an apple.

“No I’m fine, they don’t hurt at all.”

“Well that’s good then.” Frank responds getting distracted by a butterfly tattoo you have on your other arm.

You notice Julie still looking at you with worry and you sigh. She can be so worrisome sometimes. You reach into your bag and pull out some washable markers and hand them to her.

“Wanna color some in?” You ask her with a smile which only grows when you see her light up and take the markers and jumps around you, seeing which one she wants to color first.

“Oh! Oh! Can I color some too?!” Sally chimes in and takes a marker when you nod your head.

Soon you realized the mistake you made when they all decided to color in your tattoos and Wally being the artist he is wanted to draw some new ones on spot where you didn’t have any. This lasted all day.

~~~

En fin! This one was short I know. Do you guys have tattoos? I want one so bad I’ve only ever done stick n pokes :)

[bulbabutt]

just wanna get some thoughts out about april o'neil (mainly to hype up why i enjoy her in 87) so this is an analysis of writing her in each generation of shows.

1987 april o'neil is a character who i think has more agency than most of her counterparts, and i think it lies in the choice to make her a reporter.

i can understand where the negative sentiment about changing her career from scientist comes from, but hear me out. if we understand that the turtles as characters just kind of fall into plots, whether they have a history with it or not, it lets us understand that april is here because she's a key in the story.

so originally her story is that shes the assistant of baxter stockman, and he sets a trap to kill her, leaving her to be killed by mousers and saved by the turtles, but after that her life outside of anything turtle related is kind of... non existent. dont get me wrong, being an adult woman who takes in a bunch of teenage turtles makes her anything but boring, but in that concept (and other adaptations since then) we dont get a feel for what she could be doing if she wasnt around the turtles.

in 87 april her job as a reporter is central to the premise. she is the human they hang out with, and she has a day job, so her life becomes the turtles lives. the other humans in her life become the other humans in the turtles lives.

we have her boss Burn Thompson, who’s your typical J Jonah Jameson ‘get me a story on those mutant menace turtles’, giving her that classic Peter Parker role. he often tries to get her to do more feminine stories, which she always has to fight back against.

we also get her rival reporter and occasional camera man Vernon Fenwick, always trying to prove he’s better than her at their job, always trying to steal whatever story she’s on, always failing and proving that he is not as capable or brave as she is.

and we get the secretary and her best friend Irma, who contrasts to her character very well by being the more dorky and lovesick comedic counterpart to her assertive independent serious character. you fully believe these two women are friends in that workplace way, its very real.

certain aspects of these news room dynamics are great, like how despite all the turtle coms looking like radios, we give april one that looks like a compact mirror. why? because if she hears news of something the turtles should check out, when she calls them she gets to just look like shes checking her makeup. she gets to use the workplace sexism to her advantage.

another aspect is, why do the turtles have to save april? is it cuz people always kidnap her? no, its because she gets herself into trouble. shes always looking for a big story, shes not afraid of the bad guys. she goes looking for danger because shes a very capable person, and her becoming the big sister to the turtles, or maybe cool single aunt, feels very natural.

i love her, i love that she's kind of a loser with only work friends, that she doesnt date much cuz shes kind of a weirdo, i love that if she's not with the turtles we can imagine what she's up to. she feels very real, and she's not a character who could be replaced by an object, her life is central to that show. and i love that they dont need to make her a fighter or anything to do that, and its surprising coming from the oldest show.

so to go into the next two cartoons and this is not to dig on 03 or 12 as characters, but in both cases the writers dont really give us much perspective on what her life is or was outside of the guys.

in 03s case, shes that same comic april i mentioned earlier. but we know a lot more about casey in this show than we do her. we know she has the antique shop, and thats where she is, but who does she talk to? does she have friends? she has casey, but she knows him because the turtles know him.

in back story, we can assume her parents died, and we know her uncle went missing, and that the episode they found him we see she has a sister who's never come up before. but neither of those characters show up again after that. not even at her wedding. we see everyone in the turtles lives, we see everyone in casey's life (even his shitty cousin) but aprils family isnt there. so who is she she if she isnt around the guys? i guess she sells antiques. but does she have a life outside of that building? we also know she's a scientist, shes as smart as donnie, but where does she use that skill with computers outside of helping the turtles?

like shes still that same loser adult woman hanging out with turtles, this time shes taken up ninja training from splinter, and we know in the future shes going to found a tech company, but that feels more like flowery language about her, as opposed to getting to see her be someone interesting on her own.

and then in 12s case she's the only april i know who fails the sexy lamp test upon debut. shes kidnapped and the only reason the turtles go rescue her is because donnie thinks shes pretty. sure, we could say its because shes a person in need, but we all know that upon introduction she is love interest first, character second (as are.... most all of the women in that show). from that point, we know she has her dad, and unlike in the previous versions (including comics and movies) its april who has to stay with the turtles for a while, not the other way around. which on its own would be fine, but shes always sort of there. whats she up to? does she have her own interests? like in 03 when shes staying with the turtles for a bit after her shop blows up, we see she's butting heads with them a bit. same as when they stayed with her. but here she kind of just takes on whatever the turtles do, whatever they watch or are interested in. they also make her special. shes here because shes different. thats not bad on its own, but it means that she very much could be anyone, shes here not by her own choices leading her here, but because the plot is thrust upon her, not the turtles, as it has been in all other iterations.

this kind of comes to a head with the introduction of casey and irma into that show. on the surface you'd think, well there we go, she has human friends, those are hers and not the turtles friends, but they never properly introduce her or us to irma. they show irma calling her in one episode (and shes labeled 'weird-girl', so whats the story there?) and then when we meet her properly its so she can be a third body in the introduction of casey jones. the running gag of this is basically whenever april isnt around the turtles now, she's with casey and sometimes casey and irma, but we never understand why. and then youd think, well thats cool if april is who becomes friends with casey, and then casey is in the turtles lives because of her, but he actually just ends up following raphael home. they do make a point of making it so he's accepted because she's there, but he's never implied to be her friend more than the turtles'.

she invites irma along to a date with casey, neither irma or casey understanding why. is it because she doesnt want to date casey? maybe. but the writers never make her intentions clear to the audience, we're left speculating. irma comes up a few times more, always in more or less the same context, and often asking who are the mysterious friends you have besides me. i truly wish we could have seen any moments of why these two are friends, how these two are friends, what they do when april isnt with the turtles, before they pull the rug out from under us and show that irma? yeah she was actually a krang all along. and she was only here to get to the turtles. and it never seems to bother april much, besides the one outburst when it happens. to me it feels like she should at least... grieve this friend? that would be traumatizing. your only friend in your own world was never real.

i like that the farm house gets to belong to april again, as opposed to being casey's family farm, so that gives her something. but then we understand why when we're introduced to her mom. we think. a real kicker here is uh. we dont even know her moms name? she's just..... mrs o'neil. because she didnt really matter, she wasnt real. like her dad got a name (because reference), why cant her mom even have a name? a thing that bothers me here is, ok we know her dad kept getting kidnapped, or mutated, or became so traumatized that he never left the house, but we never even get that kind of basic family aspect to the first teenage april. the turtles, for better or worse, are her family in this show. thats her real support system. and its frustrating because two of the characters here just oggle her. whether its an episode where april could have a crush on donnie or casey back or not, the fact she's got no support or someone to talk to about it from someone outside of those characters brothers really sucks for her agency in this story. we never get to grasp how she feels about any of it. which is why i think those romances give people the ick, theyre things that could work if the show ever cared to tell us how april feels.

and then by the end she gets to be a kunoichi with telekinesis, a thing she got into because of the turtles, and a thing she just got to be because genetically shes special. i wish this april got to be a character who had things of her own that she could choose to be. like, she still lives above that same antique store from 03, maybe she could have had a family history there like 03, but even something simple as that is just an in name only reference. theres no part of her that feels like she chose to be it, or that there's anything about her life that isn't directly related to the turtles.

now we get to rise. and honstly, rise april is a breath of fresh air. she is a teen like the previous april, but shes also just as willing to get herself into danger by her own choices as 87. shes a fighter like 03 and 12, and unlike every other version, shes just here. we dont need to know how she got here, she's part of this family and you believe it.

we have our big sister april who's not only a loser who hangs out with turtles, but she's a complete weird magnet. she's overly excitable, very willing to get into fights, who has a strong sense of justice and getting into trouble to fix it. this series is more episodic like 87, so to just get the jist, episode one. april needs rescuing because why? she threw herself into a mystic portal to save a random creature. thats what sets the turtles off on their mystic adventure in the first place. because she put herself in harms way. and when they go to rescue her, shes actually fine. she finds them a place to get new weapons, she's the first one to run in and try to attack the villain. none of the guys ever coddle her or say "oh there goes april we have to rescue her", this time we have an april who is a fully capable fighter from the get go.

we see her school life, she doesnt have any friends besides a random guy who has a crush on her, and shes desperate to fit in. then we get sunita. we see exactly why these two are friends. it starts with april thinking shes found a normal kid at school, trying to prove to the guys she can be a normal teenager who doesnt need their weirdness, but as it turns out sunita is a yokai. shes from that same mystic world, but she didnt come into april's life because of the turtles, she came into her life because they like each other. they're just two weird girls who hang out, they like laser tag and rock shows, and we fully believe they are friends.

another aspect to her is her jobs, she's like jonesy from 6teen. she gets new jobs basically weekly, sometimes hijinks ensue, leading the turtles to an event unfolding around her, and keeps getting into trouble and getting fired, but this leaves her with a plethora of skills (and keys to random buildings or machinery good for you for not giving those back, respect).

then we also get to see an entire episode where the turtles dont appear, because its about her. we see her passion for helping the world, we see her disbelief in herself, and her ability to pick herself up. theres a moment where you think splinter is going to need to give her a pep talk, but she ignores him. she's got herself. she doesn't need to rely on the guys or splinter for her confidence, shes capable on her own.

then i think my favorite aspect here is about the finale, where we get this touching moment between her and karai where she doubts her place in the family, lamenting that she's not one of them. and its not one of the guys who tells her she is, it's karai. its another woman in this story. its the woman who's history this story has been leading up to, affirming april's part in her story. in their families story. and she gifts april her spirit. which leads her to go finding ,and in a way rescuing them, from their despair.

this april is a fully realized character, with a real place in the story. you never doubt it, but even if she wasn't you know exactly who she'd be without them. she's her own fully rounded character, and i love her so much. theres a reason people say she's definitively the best april, i wish we got to see more of her, i know we were supposed to get more, just like with everything from rise. but im glad she got to shine here.

so this is kind of why in terms of writing april, i think its interesting that the most agency we get for her, in my perspective, comes from the newest and oldest show.

basically to summarize and reiterate, all april's are good april's, some writers just care more to show us who she is than others.

also I’m ONLY talking about April’s writing here, not the rest of the show

[lilysaus]

time for lilys rare, once-every-five-months hot take on current general opinions, and this one has to do with j k rowling and harry potter.

ive seen some really harsh things said about her, and ive done my own research, and you know what? youre all right. shes a horrible, awful, nasty excuse for a human being. she is. im not going to deny it and i never will. you wanna know something else? harry potter, despite some of the horrible things that j k rowling included within it, is still a great work of fiction.

there. ive said it. harry potter is a great work of fiction. now, that might just be my ignorant little two-year-old brain who grew up reading that series saying that, it might be that im just desperately clinging to my precious past that means so much to me, but still.

consider this: a person can be a terrible, awful person that no one likes and still create fairly good things. someone, such as j k rowling, can be awful and horrible and completely unlikeable and still be a fairly good author.

i mean, just look at the things that the harry potter fandom has created. the darker, more j-k-rowling-esque things included in the series havent stopped the fandom from finding things within the books to justify their silly little headcanons. there are so many things about the harry potter series that are actually so cool and amazing that i dont think we should just completely ignore it.

instead of never reading harry potter again, just dont buy new books. if youve never read it but really want to, borrow the books from someone. find some free pdf online. find them somewhere where you wont have to pay for j k rowlings sexist, racist, and homophobic agenda.

instead of buying the movies, go hang out with someone who already has them. ask your friends if they already have the harry potter movies and either borrow them or watch the movies together. go onto piracy websites, for crying out loud! thats right! im condoning piracy for this one! go watch them illegally! as long as you arent paying for it, i dont care!

and another thing! keep creating fan content for it! and not just any fan content! make the kind of content that will make j k rowling see red. make the kind of stuff thatll just grind her gears. make the kind of stuff thatll make her scream in anger at her phone when she sees it. fanfics, fanart, if you think of it, you should make it.

please, dont let the creator of the content decide who enjoys the content and how. just dont support the creator while you enjoy the content. do the kind of stuff thatll make her mad, but she cant do jack-shit about it. just dont bash on the content.

you shouldnt feel guilty for liking harry potter just because the author is a little shit. you shouldnt feel guilty for liking something you grew up on. because again, you dont have to like the author to like the book. you dont have to like the director to like the movie. you dont have to like the creator to like the content.

thank you for coming to my hot take. have a wonderful rest of your day.

[the-s1lly-corner]

OOO what about a Dark Fey reader like Maleficent? that was being hunted down by a dangerous group of cryptid hunters, and had a broken wing n wounded by iron bullets but kept running.

And the Creeps found them took em in. and since ferfolk cannot lie,.. caught them off guard with a question on how they felt about that creep 😉

I expect to see Slenderman!👁👁 and another ig👍plz

idk I rarely see Supernatural like readers, it's a little disappointing imo. I love powerful self-inserts ok?

Slenderman with a Fey!S/o

UWAAAA I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this !! I've kinda been sucked up in a bunch of irl stuff !! (Nothing serious, just me working on things)!!

Admittedly I have never watched maleficent; so I'll solely be going off the info given in this ask I hope that's alright ☝️😔 and I apologize in advance if it's no good 😭💔

As you specifically brought up slenderman, he's gonna be our star today!! I was originally going to do the full list of characters but my brain js

A raisin

Also also!! I totally get what you mean ab the shortage of supernatural readers!!! Not just in the creepypasta fandom; but really any fandom! Let the insert have powers, let them be super strong, ect ect !!

You'd stumble into him after trying to hide and take shelter in his woods

Normally, he'd take down any trespassers after stalking them for a bit; but he was just too curious about you to make that the case

I dont know, I always think of slenderman to carry that kind of curiosity about the world and other creatures; I feel like that makes him more interesting than the fandoms standard "stern and oddly fatherly" take... also I just live the idea of curious cryptids!!

Moving on

He'd help patch you up with the resources in the forest; I've seen mixed opinions on whether or not slenderman has weird healing powers but personally; I think he has regen abilities that can only be applied to himself! Unrelated to the ask I know, but a quick little fun aside and little bonding point for him and s/o if they have the same deal going on

As for shelter? I'm personally still on the fence on if I wanna make the manor thing a part of my personal universe and hc that I write for these silly lads; but rn I've settled for a version of it! Not as grand or tidy as the old fandom hyped it up to be; it's a lil smaller and kinda... run down

Still livable, though, and you're more than welcome inside if you need somewhere to stay

Granted, I'm not entirely sure how the topic of romance would be brought up with him, but let's say he picks up on some behavior from you that makes him start putting together a picture

Bro has zero rizz I'm sorry

Regardless, he eventually asks the question; and as the rules go, you're kinda forced to tell him how you feel

I think regardless of if he reciprocates or expected your answer, he'd be surprised

I mean how many people are out here flirting with a forest monster, to their face

I think it could work, honestly! The relationship I mean!! I wish i had more hcs since this is such a fun idea, but I genuinely dont know much about fairy stuff and all the lore regarding them

But onto some more side hcs/little ideas to make up for the lack of stuff !!

If you need comfort, about the whole being hunted thing, slenderman is a good listener; and he understands what it's like, bro probably has to deal with people trying to get a look at him all the time. He gets it

Want revenge on them? Well if the hunters followed you into the woods they probably wont last long anyways; despite the whole curiosity thing he can be... rather territorial

Day to day life with slenderman is interesting as is, but with a fellow non-human companion? Shenanigans will likely ensue

What kind? Cant say, due to my lack of knowledge 😔☝️

Too injured to move around on your own? If you need to go somewhere slenderman will either fetch it for you, or just carry you to where you gotta go

Also he totally wont make it habit; even before the romantic relationship is fully formed

It just activates his neurons 😔

[secret-sturniolo]

just a long vent. read (or dont) idc

not that anyone really cares, but i just have some things i need to get off my chest because im currently alone in my room crying in the dark.

let me preface this by saying i dont have any friends. i literally do not have a single person i can talk to. i dont even have a therapist because she just quit. the last friend group i had, i found out they had a secret group chat where they were shit talking and making fun of me. so, the closest thing to friends i have are my 151 followers and the people in this fandom. when i log on here and i see that people have interacted with me or like my works, thats literally the highlight of my day. so to anyone who has talked to me or shown me support, i truly thank you and i love you.

if you met my family, you would think we have it all. my parents own a successful business, they (appear) happily married, and my brother and i have everything we could ever want or need. but heres the truth:

my parents are alcoholics. every night its the same thing. they get drunk, they fight and yell and say nasty things about each other until one of them goes to bed and they sleep in different rooms. im the one who has to mediate things. im the one who has to send my little brother to bed so he doesnt have to hear them. im the one who cleans up the spilled drinks. im the one who drove us to the hotel when my dad was being verbally abusive. and when my mom almost died in the ICU a month ago as a direct result of drinking, i was the one visiting her multiple times a day. i was the one at home doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, all of the cleaning, and bringing my brother to and from school ON TOP OF my own schoolwork and going to work every evening all because my dad is lazy and doesnt get out of bed until 1pm.

they swore to me that they were done drinking. and when they lasted 3 days and got drunk again, i didnt shame them. i didnt say anything at all. in fact, i showed them support.

wanna guess what i get in return for all of that?

i get told that im the one whos tearing our family apart, that if they get divorced its my fault. that maybe if i was nicer we would have less problems.

and god forbid that i have a bad day sometimes like a normal human being, because then i get accused of not taking my medications.

they also like to act like my mental health problems are harder on them than they are on me as if they didnt literally play a role in me developing them. a year ago i had to go to another state to receive inpatient and residential treatment because i was anorexic and suicidal. let me tell you, thats not a vacation. i have clinically diagnosed ptsd from things i witnessed there. all those times they had to take me to the hospital? yeah, not fun for me either. i promise you, nobody has tubes shoved up their nose just for shits and giggles.

you guys, im only 17. i havent even graduated high school yet. if this is what life is like now, im terrified to be an adult.

i mean it when i say that this fandom keeps me going. it makes me feel appreciated, even just a little. so if you made it to the end of this, thanks for caring enough to read this absolute dumpster fire of a post.

love you all <3

[misc-obeyme]

hello again grey asmo here

Finally found here some mutuals to talk and simp, im so happy cuz my fandom is small, and a lot of people are into the show more than the books (book nerd here)

Anyway..i can stop bringing my rant too one of my fav bloggers about that one asshole of a prince of hell (we dont talk about that)

**hugs**

NSFW OM content (drank 4 cups of coffee today, and read 4 books)

Also Barbatos would totally have a two dicks, and also his tail is slimy so you know it probably be easy right... (im not a smut person, more of an angst person)

But Barbatos/Simeon this ship is soooo precious and so cute... i wanna hold them

Also wouldnt MC kinda change, like devildom air probably affect their cells make them immune to diseases in hell, and also make their eyesight better in the dark, and imagine going back to earth and eating and it taste weird.. like MC being in hell for almost 2 years..would earth go faster or slower, probably faster on earth and hell would seem slow (torture the souls)

Hello, grey Asmo!

I'm so glad you found some mutuals to talk to about your fandom! I certainly don't mind you talking about it with me, but I know it's different when the other person is in the same fandom! I hope you're able to discuss about that character at length, he sounds like trouble lol.

So okay the two dick thing... I know people have said the same about Levi... is it a tail thing? A reptile-like tail thing, anyway? Do reptiles have two dicks?! I don't know and I'm afraid to look it up lol. I'm just wondering if this concept is based on something or if it's more like those characters just give people two dick vibes.

I definitely have a ~thing~ for tails in general, though. I really go in phases with smut, like sometimes I'm obsessed and other times I don't care at all, but if I ever come across some that involves a tail, all bets are off. Especially with Barbatos because I love him so much, but yes I think the sliminess of it could definitely act as lubricant lol.

Simeon in general is another underrated character, in my opinion! As such, his ships are also underrated. But I think the Barbatos/Simeon ship certainly has fans! The thing about them is that they both like to take care of people and they each have a little found family that they care for in which there is some overlap. And at first I thought they might have a thing where they kind of compete to take care of each other, but then I realized that they would both realize they could trust the other one. I think both Simeon and Barbatos like to take care of things partly because they know they'll do it best. But then they come to see that they can rely on each other just as well and maybe they start taking breaks finally.

Oh I have thought about what would happen to MC after living the Devildom for an extended period of time.

The fact is, humans need sunlight. So they would need to at least take some kind of Vitamin D supplement. I also think it has the potential to mess up their sleep cycles, which are also dependent on the sun (unless you're me and have a sleep disorder, but you know generally speaking). I would think that if there are diseases in the Devildom that don't exist in the human world, MC would probably get a lot of them at first until their immune system built up resistance to them.

I definitely think the eyesight would be a thing. I mean think about what it'd be like if you lived underground for years and then went outside in the sun. Sometimes just going outside after being inside all day is enough to make my eyes sensitive to sunlight!

I also think it's likely that their tastes would change... or at the very least, they'd have foods from the Devildom that they miss. Or similar things in the Devildom that they think taste better than the human world equivalent.

Just more reasons why MC probably doesn't want to leave the Devildom. All these things start to make it feel more like home than the human world...

And oh I hadn't considered the time speed? I wonder if the Devildom has time zones? Or Daylight Savings Time?!? Please, no. I would lose my mind. I already exist in two different time zones, I just want a break lol.

Anyway, it's lovely as always to hear from you, grey Asmo! I hope you're having a nice day!

[ikoarts]

October 2022 Art (OC-tober)

All my drawings for OC-tober 2022! I did miss out Day 9 + Day 22, I think coz the prompts weren't specific to any of my OCs, but I was happy to get a unique OC drawn for 29 whole days! I'll list the prompts below too

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1, 2, 3 - 01-02-03/10/2022 : (The Care Taker ; The Crazy One ; The Guide)

Raven, Calypso, and Sean - Raven being something of a caretaker, caring for her little brothers, and even taking on her infant half siblings, she's very busy all of the time... Calypso, yeah hes just crazie. Sean I figured is a maths teacher, he probably teaches Noah, and is a mentor to him

4, 5, 6 - 04-05-06/10/2022 : (The Grump ; The Beauty ; The Evil One)

Ruben, Antonia, and Russula - Ruben is definitely grumpy, I think the only thing that could make him smile is if you present him with some nice cheeses, or do something really stupid :p Toni, ofc is beautiful, she takes a lot of pride in her appearance, oh the style!! i wanna be her!! Russula.. isnt "evil", not really, but shes a demon lady so thats as close as you'll get x

7, 8, 9 - 07-08-10/10/2022 : (The Pet Owner ; The Mechanic ; The Quiet One)

Wren, Delilah, and Jay - I like thinking Wren would, at some point, have a guide dog, though it's not really canon unfortunately. Delilah is one of my Ace Attorney OCs! The daughter of Ron & Desiree, she definitely has a knack for mechanics, even at such a young age. Jay is like the "fly on the wall" of the Maedas, so is Robin tbf, I think both of them sit in a corner and stare, but yeah totally quiet, unless he feels like being snarky, he just sits and is judgemental

10, 11, 12 - 11-12-13/10/2022 : (The Handsome One ; The Thief ; The Best Friends)

Copper, Angel, Blaire + Ginger - Copper is handsome!!! thats all really. Angel is another of my AA OCs, Delilah's grandma, actually, like Ron she's a thief, though it's more serious stuff, Angel might not even be her real name, who knows! Blaire and Ginger are beloved to me, best friends who found each other thru drag!

13, 14 - 14-15/10/2022 : (The Gun Lover ; The Cutie pie)

Richie and Robin - Richie isn't a "gun lover" exactly, only that he has a gun for an arm, sometimes, which he loves, but yea he might be a bit "and then i started blastin"... and Robin is a cutie pie! I've updated his design since this, but he's still cute <3

15, 16, 17 - 16-17-18/10/2022 : (Someone Else's OC (Mitzi from @creaturedrawz) ; The Helper ; The Nature Lover)

Mitzi, Susie, and Buttercup - i hadn't drawn Mitzi yet and i rly wanted to bc i love her... i need to draw for others more x ,, Susie, ofc is very helpful, super friendly and outgoing, and Buttercup is a farm boy, despite living in the city he still ofc has a huge love of nature

18, 19, 20 - 19-20-21/10/2022 : (The Father ; The Siblings ; The Girl Next Door)

Felix, Una + Zin, and Penny - Felix... ugh.. da dad evar... i love his swag ass gay boy style... Una n Zin, some of my IZ OCs, they're siblings, but, it's complicated, they consider each other siblings anyway thats all that matters, Una worries abt him a lot. PENNY, ms americas sweetheart that penny. she is battling demons in hell, with her boobs (gay)... she used to be human, but since fucking. dying. shes having a gradual transformation x

21, 22, 23 - 23-24-25/10/2022 : (The Gang Leader ; The Sad One ; The Gamer)

Caspian, Rushada, and Pumpkin - Caspian isn't a gang leader, but he would get wrapped up in gangs, but dont worry he turns it around <3 Rushada my beloved sadgirl.. again its funny to see her before i gave her a slight redesign, i liked her hands in this one tho. Pumpkin is a gamer, in his gamer zelda shirt and gamer cargo shorts, thats about it

24, 25, 26 - 26-27-28/10/2022 : (The Mother ; The Power Within ; The Lovers)

Alice, Lafayette, Gizmo + Jasmine - Alice <3 my scouse ma.. she kinda just is The mother of my ocs ig ,, Lafayette, i still haven't figured out anything too concrete about his lore, but the hidden power thing is something i feel fits him. Jasmine n Gizmo have been my standout married couple ocs for years now, i just never draw Gizmo LOL, so this is still the most recent thing of him... oops

27, 28, 29 - 29-30-31/10/2022 : (The Scientist ; The Marked One ; The Goddess)

Daffy, Luna, and Rosaline - Last stretch..... im getting tired of typing....... Daffy likes to picture himself as a mad scientist but hes just a dorky autistic dude accidentally making nuclear bombs in his bedroom lmfao. Luna i thought was obvious for the prompt, she's a zombie catgirl so shes just, parts. bits n pieces. Rosaline, again like Lafayette, i dont have much concrete about her, but being my 1 goddess oc it was pretty obvious she'd be the one i drew for the last day lol

[ochrearia]

I dont know a lot about your other interests buuuuut maybe your favorite dragon prince character for the character ask thing, if you want? :]

Stares at you with the biggest eyes ever I'm picking RAYLA BECAUSE SHES SO FUCKING DUMB AND I HATE HER BUT NO I DON'T

Favorite Thing About Them: Can I be so damn honest. We share trauma. Like okay not like 1:1 but her parents """died""" when she was young and she had to deal with that. I had to deal with death early too. Not a family member but a friend and her entire family. And like. That's still rather traumatizing for an 8-9 year old kid especially because it was a fucking PLANE CRASH but yeah. Death trauma early on where the person dying had a really fucked up death. Rayla kind of runs away from her problems and so do I. Puts it all on herself and doesn't think that she matters at all so "doing the right thing" gets in the way of staying alive and she's fine with that but doesn't really clock that dying for the cause is going to traumatize someone else. But that's so like... me. I talk about seeing myself in Pico but Rayla steals the similarity contest from him easy. Also elf but like come on DSFDGF Rayla is to blame for my elfsona and my continuous use of pointed ears in my sonas ever since

Least Favorite Thing About Them: Girl you're an asshole. Like I'm sorry she can be a wonderful person but oh my god I am never forgiving her dumbass for doing what she did to Callum in Through The Moon. Dawg. Fucking idiot. I dislike liars man I already got trust issues but this BITCHHHHH she tells Callum they will go find Viren together and then she turns around and leaves in the middle of the night without him and only leaves him a NOTE to wake up to. On his BIRTHDAY BY THE FUCKING WAY ON HIS BIRTHDAY. ARE YOU DUMB??? ARE YOU DUMB. She's gone for 2 years. Girl what the fuck that's your boyfriend. Or you know was lol what is your issue. Like I know, you've got trauma and you believed that you were protecting him by going alone so he wasn't in danger but hoLY SHIT YOU DID SO MUCH MORE DAMAGE TO HIM THAT WAY. Christ. You would think that him jumping off the Storm Spire to catch you and save you from a splat death would tell you his damn dedication to you Rayla. Rayla. Look me in the eyes Rayla you cannot keep thinking in this mentality. I fully understand the idea that you think leaving someone would save them because I've considered that too but NO!!!! NO GET A GRIP OHUHUH I HATE YOU FOR DOING THAT RAYLA

Favorite Line: "Callum, you may be a dummy but you're not a fool!" ("Am I supposed to feel flattered about this?") Rayla is the reason "dummy" is in my vocabulary. Like dummy but in an affectionate way because that's the only context she uses it and it's always with Callum.

brOTP: Rayla and Soren <3 Rayla being the completely fucking done with this bitch adopted sister and Soren being his normal stupid himbo ass self. I love Soren ??? But like that's for another day to talk about

OTP: Rayllum, lmao, because I am in fact basic as fuck and am shipping the thing the show is handing to me. Honestly though pre-season 4 I was lowkey fucking with Claudia and Rayla in fandom context bc realistically they would. Never. Rayla would hate her ass. And its not elf-human racism because Claudia's dating Terry it's just Rayla would HATE HERRR

nOTP: Man I don't even wanna talk about it I've seen some weird shit but I genuinely think I have seen at least one instance of Viren x Rayla and absolutely the FUCK not. But I guess for one that's not just weird as fuck Soren x Rayla because they're not romantic to me in any context ever sorry to the people that do consider it though

Random Headcanon: Hitting this fucker with the bigender beam I do NOT care. She's bigender and uses she/he pronouns like me because I SAID SO

Unpopular Opinion: sighs... I'm no Callum guys. I think she deserved to suffer in the consequences of her actions more. 2 years with nothing but a note and a broken promise. Callum's stronger than me dude like I get it you love her and I like love but god that would break my trust for way longer. They never even really talked about it either. He just kinda forgave her after awhile. And yeah Rayla throughout the seasons shows that she knows it's on her but I THINK SHE DESERVED TO GET YELLED AT AT LEAST ONE TIME OKAY

Song I Associate With Them: Mama's Gun by Glass Animals and I am going to REFUSE to explain why because it's a years old thing and I'm not changing it. But just. Yeah that one

Favorite Picture Of Them: I could be mean and say the one where she's staring at the metal flowers in Ethari's pond and obviously about to cry but I won't. I'll be nice.

My current one methinks. She's pretty :] Shakes her by the shoulders I wanna loOK LIKE YOU

[thedragonqueen1998]

I love horses and im heartbroken to see the Arabian horse is slowly but surely being bred into deformity. Like, this is a picture in a book i have about horse breeds that i got when i was around 13-14 years old:

And this is the look people are breeding the poor horses for now:

Please tell me you see the insane difference between these 2 images. The image search for Arabian horse is filled with pictures of this and i hate it.

This is in the same vein as breeding Pugs with the squished in nose and German Shepards with hip problems to get that "iconic look" and it is disgusting that we breed animals for looks without thinking of the consequences for the health problems and life quality issues these animals suffer from. Like, dont get me wrong: certain colour combos are awesome for animals and i really want a white cornsnake at some point, but i will do research on if the colour breeding negativly affect the snake before i get it. Because i DO NOT wanna encourage these breeding practices.

I beg people to look into what your buying: not only to ensure you get the right care for any animal you're getting, but also to realise that the cute puppy your getting might have chronic breathing problems that will plague it for its entire life. It might sound really bad to decide to not get an animal because of health problems, but not everyone can afford to constantly go to the vet for health issues bred into the breed.

Sorry for being another negative post, but this is a topic close to my heart and i feel very few people actually take a deep enough look into the breeding practices of certain animals and breeds and unwittingly get animals that will suffer their entire life from issues we humans decided they should have because "looks are more important".

Im going to end this post here as i could keep going on and on and i don't wanna make another text wall. Just... have an awesome day and if you have a pet, give them a hug for me, ok? Tell them that they are loved. Thank you for your time.

[infizero]

pokespe reread: emerald chapter - closing thoughts! 🟢

i've finished emerald!! and with it comes the end of the era of the dexholders constantly meeting up with each other and interacting between generations 😔

we'll still get to see these guys again (other than yellow. sorry yellow. i hope they bring u back one day honey) but past this point it's gonna be a lot less overtly interconnected. which is fine! but it is a little sad :')

anyways, here's my thoughts on the chapter as a whole!

(i also wanna preface this with the fact that i realized near the beginning that as a kid i definitely never actually read this arc in its entirety, just the end part once gold and crystal show up 💀 so technically this wasn't a true reread. but yknow. anyways)

the first thing that i noticed is that this arc feels a lot more focused on the battles and gimmicks at first; it kinda takes a while for the story to really kick in, which did make the first bits of it a littleeee boring/bland for me personally. but thats ok

i think part of that is because of how emerald as a character is depicted. i love emerald, but he is a character where for most of the arc, we see him from an outside perspective, via other characters observing him and wondering about him rather than really getting to read his thoughts and learn about him as a person. this can make him feel kind of uninteresting in the beginning, but i dont think its a severe issue or anything.

i do also think that the way his backstory is revealed is a littleee clunky? like having ruby and sapphire just be like "we dont much about you so tell us all about yourself!" feels like kind of an obvious plot device to get emerald backstory and doesnt read very naturally. but i dont rlly care, esp since we then immediately go INTO his backstory which is very enjoyable to read through.

speaking of which, i love his dynamic with crystal so so much. i think it's really cute how the whole reason he became a dexholder was just because he wanted to train with her :)

and speaking of emerald's friends........ latios and latias YIPPEE. i love that they just like him for some reason and go around being his friends its cute as hell. and of course. latias. im not going to lie to you and say that human latias isnt cute as hell IT'S CUTE AS HELL OK. ALL OF ITS OUTFITS ARE ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. sorry...........

moving on, i reallyyyy love ruby and sapphire in this arc. their dialogue and just general characterization is. mwah. i love them trying to be friends with emerald and him just totally shutting them down LOL

i will say that ruby forgetting the climax of R&S is. kind of stupid and feels like a way to just artificially create more relationship drama between these two. i think that was mentioned/implied at the end of R&S but i forgot lol. anyways iirc i dont think this gets resolved until ORAS which is fucking insane. we'll see but considering that my memories of ORAS are not good, i feel like it's very likely that i'll end up just retconning this in my personal hc lol

ok DUDE. the shit with the blue orb was sooooo sick. i was so happy that they explored that a bit more bcuz the whole thing of the orbs corrupting anyone who touches them (and RUBY AND SAPPHIRE HAVING BOTH DONE THAT) was really fucking cool and i def thougt it could be touched on more.

i like how we learn about it more not just for the sake of it, but also it ends up being relevant because of archie. and we get to learn through it that there are permanent side effects no matter what, via sapphire's eyes apparently having a dim glow to them because of her contact w the blue orb? which um. is fucking sick

circling back to archie, him being guile is genuinely a cool twist and i didnt see it coming even though i have literally read this before. also him literally KILLING(?) maxie for another shot at life is genuinelyyyy fucking crazy. and i like how they tied in team galactic, it makes this feel at least a little connected to the upcoming chapter.

ok and now. something that's not at all relevant to the chapter as a whole but i have to talk about bcuz to middle school me this was the only thing that mattered about this arc

gold and silver in this arc make me sooooo fucking ill oh my lawrd. this shit is still just as crazy as it was in middle school WHAT ARE WE DOING RIGHT NOW

ok first of all. gold giving silver the ring (via very much Holding His Hand) and calling him his buddy. looking absolutely MURDEROUS after archie taps on the petrified silver. i love how this arc shows just how much gold cares about silver. crystal too ofc, but its less expected from gold due to how rocky their relationship was in the beginning. like that is his friend and if you touch him you will die. understand?

and then of course this moment oh my godddd bro. like him calling silver his buddy is just like aww theyre friends but then gold had to go and act as gay as possible about it. WHY ARE YOU FULL FACE BLUSHING OVER SILVER OVERHEARING YOU CALL HIM YOUR FRIEND! YOU ARE GAY!!!!!!!!!!

also i already said this in my initial post about this moment but like. its even gayer when you imagine what it looked like without gold's inner thoughts here, like silver tells him he heard and gold just blushes and looks all nervous/embarrassed. and then silver just continues talking. like hello.......

ANYWAYS. YELLOWWWWWWW

them getting to deal the final blow was fucking awesome. they didnt get to do a lot this arc since they were petrified with the others, but im glad that they were specifically highlighted here. getting to see them finally as officially part of the dexholders is so cool! esp since we dont get to see yellow past this point, i think this is a nice little mini sendoff to their character (for now)

seeing all the dexholders interact in general is just so fun and makes me so so happy. they're a family!!! they look out for each other!!! grahhhh

anyways. that's about all i have to say :) i've become a little busier so i dont know when i'll be starting diamond & pearl, but im very excited to since that means I GET TO SEE DPP AGAIN. MY CHILDREN.

its gonna be so polyamorous in this bitch i cant fucking wait. esp to expose anyone unfamiliar with pokespe or that specific chapter with the absolute canon polycule that is those three. oh my lordddd i miss them so much i cant wait.

anyways!!! see you all then!

[rabiscalia0]

Once in a while I found myself thinking about gender identity in general and how I feel about it inside me.

I wanna share some reflections about what I am thinking today, since its Pride and this makes it a good day to share it.

Starting with the point that always have been clear for me: I don't believe in gender roles, that binary system that society made up and defines how women or men should be. To me, since I was a child, I never identified with girly stuff, I didn't see myself as cute or fragile, I had my mom as my rolemodel and despite she being very selfconscious and worrying about style and looks, she is a very strong and independent woman who never cared about doing "guy's stuff", I always had the freedom to do what I wanted, despite the gender it might "belong".

Another point I wanna clarify is that I dont really CARE about gender. Everyone is allowed to fight for their identities but I don't feel this is important to me, like, we are human beings and that's enough. But I still think about it because, well, people ask, they wanna know what I am right?!

So, I grew up being seen and identifying myself as a woman. I still do, I simply cannot look away for all my life living like that and having the goods and bads, and fighting the fights and being a group with other women.

Of course, since the gender roles exist, there was this moment when I thought "maybe I am a man cuz I dont see myself like a feminine person", like "a woman should be".. but the again, who said that?! Who decides what is to be a woman??

Still, we have to real with society and reality and I started to identify myself as a nonbinary person. (I don't feel comfy to use the trans flag as my flag personally, because I don't feel like transitioning to something else, but I consider NB as part of the trans flag and I support trans rights as well. I'd like to read some opinions on that matter.)

See, politically I still see myself as a woman, I won't leave the feminist fight, I love women and I def don't want to be a man. 🤷

But to me personally, as I said before, it really doesn't matter being this or that, and I always liked androgyne looks, and I'd love to be someone you just can't tell if is a femboy or a tomboy-ish girl, that would be a dream to cause that confusion because in the utopic world of my own, no one needs to be labeled with gender unless you want it.

Talking about labels, please let's remember this important info: gender is a spectrum, not a bunch of boxes. You also can change how you see yourself and so your gender during your life and it's fine.

All that being said, I think I'd be somewhere in the middle, where I am still NB, I totally disagree with binarity, but I use feminine pronouns (in portuguese, my first language, we don't have an official neutral noun) and neutral (in english), and I still identify more towards women, because of my life experience.

I am a woman for political reasons.

I am nonbinary for my soul.

Also I am panromantic and gray-asexual but that's for another topic.

Well, that's it I guess?

Does any of this makes sense?

Can you relate somehow?

Happy Pride everyone,

and remember, just be you, that's enough 💕

[bunnypopgal]

Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5805-5814

GT: Roxy?

GT: Rox! What is she saying?

GT: Talk to me roxy!!!

GT: Please dont leave me hanging here.

GT: I cant take it i cant bear having two of my closest chums hate me and then having you shut me out on top of that!

TG: ok sheesh jake calm ur microshorts

TG: im here

GT: Ah there you are.

GT: Im sorry for being a pest but i just see jane there pecking away at conversations with you and dirk and it feels like youre all kind of leaving me behind.

TG: no jake nobodys doin that

GT: Ok yeah im probably being paranoid...

GT: But ive done such a bangup job of alienating my other friends.

GT: So youre the only one i can talk to for now.

GT: Wait i havent alienated you yet have i?

TG: nah dont worry we are still humanated

GT: Are you really sure roxy? Are you sure youre not just trying to spare my feelings?

GT: You can be honest with me! If you hate me now too please just say so.

TG: SWEET GUY FIERIS FAT LAUGHING GHOST JAKE

TG: no i dont hate you i promise youre still my bro god dammit!

GT: Ok. Phew!

GT: Then talk to me!

TG: um

TG: about what

GT: I dont know. Anything! What are you talking about with jane?

TG: my drinkin problems

GT: I see.

GT: Would you like to talk about them with me? Maybe i could help!

TG: damn jake

TG: like

TG: that is cool and appreciated in theory?

TG: but this is some kinda heavy shit 4 me

TG: i rly dunno if i can do double duty on my alcoholism with you and jane simultaneously

GT: Oh. Yeah thats probably not the best way to go.

TG: yes prolly not

GT: Sooo then. What else is there we can chew the old fat about?

GT: Really bond over together in an emotionally fulfilling manner?

TG: dag you are an extra silly guy

GT: Well??

TG: dunno j why dont u tell me what youre thinkin an we go from there

GT: Alright.

GT: So. That sure was a doozy of a kiss you gave dirk there huh?

TG: LOL fuck

TG: yeaaaahhh

GT: How was it?

TG: it was

TG: uuuummmmm

GT: Go on!

TG: it was fuckin INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!

TG: and yet

TG: and yet.........

TG: omg it was so choice

TG: but wrong!

TG: wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

GT: I dont know. It seemed innocent enough to me.

GT: What was so wrong about it?

TG: a whole host of things...

TG: not sure in how much detail i wanna spell out why exactly it wasnt cool

TG: but like

TG: jake ur a pretty simple guy and i mean that as <3ways as possible

TG: it just wasnt right

GT: No disagreement there. But like i said im here to talk about whatever you feel like.

TG: ok see this is just another embarrassing thing from my past

TG: when i was more out of control

TG: with dirk i was just

TG: waaay too aggressive

TG: i hassled him all the time

TG: pretty much every day just like he said

TG: about

TG: me and him

TG: like

TG: GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

TG: U KNO LAST MALE & FEMALE ON EARTH OOH HES A HUNK! IS DREAMZ COME TRU TIME 4 REPOPULATE!!!

TG: yeah

TG: so not cool lookin back on it

TG: and i had no excuse i always knew he was just

TG: SUCH a gay dude

TG: and i guess maybe hitting on a guy who dont like girls once or twice maybe is alright or even flattering but after so long it was probably just pissing him off or messing with his head or something

TG: it def wasnt what he wanted to hear from a friend

TG: let alone day in and day out through garbled drunktexts

TG: so when i fuckin harassed him into kissin me...

TG: it just brought back some low rent shit i thought we put behind us

TG: just another way i completely humiliated myself in front of him

GT: So is that why you cant talk to him now?

TG: mmmmmmmm hmmmmmmm

GT: I certainly have no trouble relating to that.

TG: yep

TG: i dont even know why really

TG: hes like taciturn to the max about everything

TG: but theres somethin about him

TG: that just makes it hurt to feel like you let him down

GT: You really love him dont you?

TG: siiigh

TG: yeah jake i guess

TG: the answer is

TG: a categorical unapologetic fucking 'yeah'

TG: but

TG: i dont think that was much a secret

TG: and the fact that it was so LOUDLY not a secret exemplified my stupidity on the matter

GT: Its fair to say i never came close to feeling as strongly about him as you.

GT: I envy you actually. Ive actually worried at times that i just wasnt capable of feeling that way about anyone.

GT: And maybe thats why i was just meant to be alone.

TG: ehh you aint missin much

TG: love is a brutal shitninja w/ turds 4 nunchucks

TG: be grateful that stank ass motherfuckers flippin out nowhere near you

GT: I noticed you nearly slipped that wedding ring on his finger!

TG: oh GOD

TG: that ring

GT: You almost scooped my boyfriend out from under me in one fell proposal.

TG: oh DID i

TG: from under u eh? ;)

GT: Wait. No i mean...

TG: ;););););) wonks 4 eternity

GT: WHOA NOW WAIT A MINUTE!

TG: easy dude just messin

GT: Oh.

GT: Ha ha ok.

TG: man

TG: that ring tho

TG: what happened to it do you remember?

GT: Not really.

TG: god damn it

TG: must of lost it when i was a FUCKING trickster

TG: sflkjfslkfj

TG: *shakes fist @ all trxstrs*

GT: Did you need it for something?

TG: need it?

TG: not really

TG: i just really liked that ring

TG: kinda spoke to me in a way

TG: hehe

TG: want to know something lame?

GT: Yes.

TG: the moment i first saw that ring

TG: i was like in my head

TG: thinkin

TG: some day i want to give that ring to the person i marry

TG: whoever that is

GT: Daw.

GT: Thats not lame thats nice.

TG: nah its pretty lame but w/e

TG: shows what sorta one track mind i got

TG: god i am obsessed with findin somebody to kiss arent i

TG: it is rly quite pathetic

TG: although the funny thing is the ring turns you invisible

TG: which might be my subconscious telling me something about my lovelife

TG: like i find a guy of my dreams

TG: slip it on his finger

TG: and POOF he disappears!

TG: bye bye hubby

TG: o well dont matter

TG: the ring is gone

TG: and with it so too

TG: are my lame, lame dreams ;(