#i dont feel lke typeing that again

[coffinkissing17]

do you ever just get tje award winning idea of giving headcannons to icepops. (these are the ramblings of an insane person)

and yes i mean these things.

[gayspock]

ok but this does actually make me nervous

i think its just bc "pregnancy" storylines in shows similar-ish to farscape can be really, really fucking miss and ive heard mixed things abt s4 so im NERVOUS.... like granted, i dont think it can be angel s4 bad. (bc like holy shit - holy fucking shiiiiiiit) but yeah like

i dont know. i think its just when it gets... really strange and, they kind of just use it as a weird plot device. and, like, when they do focus on the actual emotional stuff - the characters get distorted, and/or we dont focus on the person who's pregnant, like, at all. they literally just become a motivation and/or a complication in the story.

which, again, happens a lot with similar-ish shows and by that i mean sci-fi shows with a very loosely similar vibe. like- i really fucking hate season 6 of doctor who, too. one of my least favourites of the show. i suppose, though, in THOSE cases its also a lot of like... eugh, really weird sci-fi pregnancy shit, too - always with a lack of agency, or some strange body violation (if not just outright rape) that lke... LOOK, i would consider a sincere means of exploring those types of conversations, but its always kinda glossed over, again, to focus instead on the oohoo weird scifi pregnancy thing and its just so icky to me. and THATS-

IM AWARE that situation is not the case here, in farscape, so i know that wont be a problem but i do think... there is a possibility that aeryn could lose a lot of autonomy and not in a self-aware way of the writers but yeah

and like i said. characters can sometimes act.. weird. i dont know. i think its again, like, trying to introduce a pregnancy as a complication.... it IS kind of a trope, like "oh my god! she's pregnant!" which isnt bad inherently and tropes arent bad but you know how it is... its like i feel like its one in particular, wherein characters really can so easily just act out the roles of a trope - as opposed to, like, existing as their already established individual persons, now put into this situation. does that make sense? like i feel like so much of the time, when this thing occurs, there's a certain laziness about how its executed BUT LIKE...

THIS IS AGAIN. JUST SPECULATION. IM NERVOUS. IM FREAKING NERVOUS BUT ULTIMATELY VERY FUCKING SAD RIGHT NOW

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.20.2022

tags: dirty talk, possessive language, blowjobs

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：Man after typing about jerkoffsies, I got soo distracted thinking about Hanako's depraved inner thought stream… I think it's just so intense at times, unfathomably [snarling] once he gets going. So much so that, I still think it could descend on him sf hard even if he has already been fooling with Nene and Tsukasa. if it's early enough in them doing anything together, and if he were to be stoked to touch himself. Myahh i like this actually being a Nene-motivated thing -- i do think she's able to have a sentiment like, "this kind of thing is therapeutic for hanako-kun…" he's way too stiff and rebuffing things at times. just want to see him have to engage with something like jerking himself off [sucks in drool] it would be good for him

but for Nene to like herd things to be direction to Tsukasa as well. and for her to not understand that doing this will make Hanako really like [rhg.. fkhgk…. FHHHGF, GN KILL YOU AGAIN!!!!!! -VIOLENT MOTIONS, LOOKING INSANE-] … i like the thought of her witnessing this after seeing a fairly restrained Hanako, in the grand scheme of things. very w-whoa.. [but admiring the intensity, a little dazzled by it, not as concerned as she could be…]

[japanese accent] pashhon…

つ：I'm seeing it I'm seeing the passhon I like to think Hanako if directed towards tsukasa would be…. very good actually at saying things that 'pass' for Nene as not THAT crazy (not directly alluding to murder) and yet to Tsukasa are exactly and only about the murder

more vagueries about how Tsukasa just wants it all over again, its all he ever thinks about, wants to make nene see it, and also being like,NNNNAND I WANT HER TO SEE IT TOO!!!! [want to HORRIFY MY GIRLFRIEND, DON'T WE ALL]

あ：oh so very sick…. feels like it would be ah. mad ramblings… You want her to see what I'm capable of don't you. etc etc…

Fun to think about it toeing such a line.. like I do think Hanako cannot control stalling about stuff and avoiding direct convo (this is already so much more direct than he has managed to be in years)… getting a bit, hysterical. i think it's easy to get. like. accusatory in tone. ehh it's like venting some of the helplessness, like, youuu… you of course you love this DONT YOU !> fH ??!? FUCK hrhg

つ：Tsukasa also being more intensely receptive than ever makes her feel like oh i did something good for everyone .o. me so…. contribute

あ：me good girl…

つ：begins jerking hanako off while he rambles. which is going to make the limiter rip off

but I like a scenario where yashiro is jerking him off, he's talking at a tsukasa under him, and it's in this circumstance that he finally starts melting into KILL YOUKILLYOULKILGLGK KILL YOUKILL YOU [SPITTING] SKKLILL KILL YOU KILLYOU and Nene feels like she can't understand.. language

he's… what. what is he saying [was expecting hanako to… start rambling that he loves tsukasa, or something…..] not how you think the uncorking would go. grabs nene's still hand around his cock though and violently humps into it

OH DON'T STOP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [boorishly] BUT I'M SO CLOSE HAHAHAHAHAHA YASHIRO DON'T YOU WANNA SEE ME FINISHHHH???? KLl;fdjkl1!!

あ：The preamble to this having felt more… understandable, to her. Like [to tsukasa] Just feels great for you. To obsess over it. Must be great for you to feel. [and so on]

I think she was genuinely kind of like ah swooons when Hanako-kun is like this aheh.e…… when I can start something myself💞

but simply DEVOLVING into a frothing animal. WANT TO WANT TO WANT TO DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN DO IT AGAIN !! KILL YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!!!

the idea of Tsukasa himself being lke ohhh nene-chan don;t stoppp hjgfhdfg kjdfl [griffin dying over the soundboard] oh god ohhh please please

つ：full whore for brother mode nene-chaaaan nooooooo pant pant doesn't he sound so goood right now ? can't you hear it….. touches Amane's chest with his hand…..

it's so loud right now….. [his desires, but to nene it comes across as his heartbeat being referred to, which is nonsense cuz hanako doesnt have one… so its bizarre, like tsukasa is delusional]

あ：Entering the full on crazy crazy world crazy two boys world

つ：hhhhhhhssssss unfortunately the yorishiro situation. does feel like. Amane made Tsukasa His with his actions.

あ：The seal just feels like a brand, a mark, made 'his'. It's…. obscene. but Tsukasa certainly is the way he is due to the excessiveness of the situation

____________________

あ：Man I really had my own 'so horny i need to be dissolved in pig slop' etc. moment last night before bed. I just feel like we should be candid. had to jerk off a lot

つ：wow!!! where was he….

i felt like this morning i woke up immediately suddenly having revelation about ownership tying into yorishiro, for no reason. its like all the information accrued at once. congealed into a conclusion already. i hadn't been thinking of it before

あ：I was nowhere of importants. (thinkin about. the girls both sucking me off.)

つ：i'm glad I got into your brain with it. Ah its funny for Hanako to walk himself backwards into a sex fixation while condescending to his hoes in annoyance. Being annoyed with them accidentally expands his mind. Gets him just grabbing their hair and keeping them busy. But as it transpires its.. ah this. is a lot actually. [becomes catatonic]

the freedom to hold one still to jab in deeper into them for a while. switch at leisure. rub on whoever. its like being at a buffet.

あ：It is . yeah It's such a circumstance of getting owned by something you did to be like condescending, oh if you like it so much etc. But then its just so. WHAT did you think was going to happen…

the ah switching and alternating between, and observing eagerness present in both. 6_e

つ：guy who started off sensitive about receiving blowjob has become too acclimated to them. and makes himself sick

あ：MISTAKE!!!!!!!!! you really got too used to them now you're somewhere dangerous. RGH FKD G !~!!!!!!

つ：plus I think nauseatingly they will both be like cute with each other. They will like bump heads and giggle

[tsukasa pausing to pick a hair out of yashiro's mouth] [also just like propping self on palm sometimes to stare]

あ：it's a good thing they have each other.

but genuinely it is good, i think it helps yashiro be less stressed and feel supported. you worry on her own hanako would just be too much of an intimidating fortress and barely giving her an inch. which means when she was finally in a position to give a blowjob the pressure would feel immense yk. like oh my god if i fuck up the consequences… but tsukasa is here to bite hanako by the ankles regularly and keep him in place. and also let her understand he is crazy about the situation. simply persist. ganbatte

someone to rub your shoulders and show you how to really relish in something. much to enjoy. ohh don't forget to make eye contact. tsukasa kind of has this energy of someone going "watch this" [does something crazy] [it lands, undeniably]

つ：teach her to not be so worried about doing it perfectly either…. I think Yashiro would be ah, worried of. looking. unsexy or doing something stupid… but in her defense she IS constantly under threat of Hanako mocking her ….. Tsukasa needs to be here to really do more whimsical things and prove that Hanako is not so picky nor complex in this state.

on her own I think Yashiro worries… about Hanako suddenly being, put off, or anything else… the moody guy, it's already risky… feel like you're juggling, sometimes…..

あ：Sigh yeah…. and in general a girl who has thought about like, performing well as a girlfriend, she's thinking harder about the do's and donts… don't want to fail at being gf. in a circumstance with a NORMAL guy it'd be pretty intimidating, and she could feel like she fucked up and cry a lot over something. let alone…..

You need back up… back up as powerful as tsukasa who is not afraid to just seem like an overly eager child pawing at, mouthing cock. and yet his eyes roll back still

つ：and yashiro can sit back at times and feel, ah…. it. looks nice and interesting in its own way 6.6;;

meanwhile hanako watching the transference of information is seeking the time and place of his own death

あ：not liek this. it was never supposed to be like this. Anhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh comes

つ：it would be cute for coming to make him slightly stressed out as he's like i c. i cant ch. i can't choose one of them. i d. ic. [holds them both back to nut] [but this creates such an effect of seeming like its a display fklsd;jfsf]

あ：the implications of choosing one really is like omfggg i cant i cant do that. NO literally don't think about anything & don't internalize anything

つ：they will unfortunately watch while held by the hair and when released, Tsukasa kickstarts the lick-clean process, another thing to teach Yashiro

あ：mentally like i literally can't do this ever again. goodbye thank you for your service

つ：why did i think i could do this. whats wrong with me

あ：Of course they have to make it. so.

つ：sadly though you have taught the dogs new tricks and they are ape together strong

あ：[just silence in the brain]

At this point I think it's just so, ahm, almost comically expected for Hanako to be severe for days and not initiate on his own

I think on their own they must even confer like sigh Hanako-kun is doing that thing he does…. He's acting like he has no p*nis some sort of utter refusal to whip it out

つ：have lost the privilege. have abused my penis. have subjected it to torture. it is afraid now

あ：Nene sighing like oh he gets like that… tsukasa: it's very amane-like. [we both nod………… un un…………… so amane-like…………]

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E03 Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 563 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated! 

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

Rate the episode

84% of users rated the episode a 4 or 5 this week, compared to 64% last week. This episode had less action, but was full of key character moments that manga readers were excited to see animated.

So far it's my favourite since it follows the most the manga but with some bearable adjustemements. If the episodes will be like this from now on, I'll be completely satisfied and could get over all the changes in the first two episodes.

The adaptation is doing well, but of course manga readers(me included) about some bits being changed and rearranged. But on the other hand they might come me up with something unexpectedly good. I won't forgive them if they don't give shit machine tho.

It’s starting to feel more like the arc I love

It was great, I'm having trouble deciding which episode is the best of this season yet. I thought the second one was the best, but then I remember the premiere and now, once again, I am thinking about the 3rd one being the greatest. The quality this season is off the charts.

Compared to episode 2, episode 3 was quite uninteresting

I think it must have been boring and confusing for Anime-only's

This episode was appropriately paced for an episode full of flashbacks, and honestly I think it paid off to get the backstories of Erwin and Historia in one showing to avoid conflicting with the future action episodes.  I don't have much else to say- I can't really be critical because it was a pretty good episode, adaptation-wise.

Which of the following moments were your favorite?

Hange taking their anger out on the table and Levi walking in on it is the winner here! The closest runner ups were seeing Levi’s wanted poster and getting Erwin and Historia’s backstories. We all agree it was nice to see many of these things in color animation finally!

Hange's scene where she blames her table destruction on a cockroach? Totally relatable. And I loved that Levi kinda teased her for it.

I have been waiting for Erwin's back story for AGES and was not disappointed! Kidwin was as heartbreakingly adorable as expected (that nose!! The sad bby at the funeral!!)

I liked all the topics they addressed that had been previously skipped (Historia and Erwin’s pasts). Also, while the sequence of events have been changed, I’m looking forward to how they are going to pan this out.

Erwin has great ass.

Hange's tableflip scene was amazeballs, man I love her!!

Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit. Pixis in a suit.

The conversation between Erwin and Pixis gave me thrills. I thought it was going to be boring, but it was very well shown.

My girl Hange's time to shine in this episode! I want her "BAAAKAAAA" as a ringtone asap

Who drew it better: WIT or Isayama?

51% of respondents thought the OG drew it best. Isayama can finally sleep at night. Funnily enough, the anime only respondents preferred WIT’s version!

Who has the best reaction to Historia’s backstory?

Sasha took the lead as she paused licking at her soup bowl to listen to Historia’s story. Connie was easily the next runner up with his dumbfounded expression. We weren’t surprised to see Springles win this one!

How cute was baby Historia?

The vast majority of respondents just wanna pinch those cute little cheeks (and probably take her home, treat her to some hot cocoa and love her properly).

And baby Historia was the cutest omg! That lil nose and her lil blush! I'm crying bittersweet tears here.

How could anyone possibly look down on and abuse such a precious little bean like baby Historia?? Alma's so pathetic…

Baby Historia is the cutest thing I have seen in anime. She is so adorable and sweet! I would love to hug her so much! She is just too cute! <3

Child Hisu is ADORKABLE

How cute was little Erwin?

While this is a tiny bit more spread out than Historia, the majority of respondents were also enamored with adorable kidwin and are ready to adopt him at any time (and probably give lots of hugs too!).

BABYWIN!!!!!!!!!

Young Erwin was def my fav bighead-bigbrows!

I love Erwin so muchhhh my precious baby is so cute and handsome at the same timeeeee I just want to hug him and never let anything bad happen to him againnnnn

The episode was dialogue heavy with a lot of character backstories and plot exposition. What type of episodes do you tend to prefer watching?

In general, respondents don’t mind if an episode has a lot of action or if it’s a bit slower with some good plot developments. What matters is that we keep moving forward and that it’s entertaining, right?

About episode type: Tense conversation ready to break into action at any second, like when Kenny and Levi were talking in the bar.

It was a nice change of pace after all the fights in the first 2 episodes but I'm looking forward to the action  coming back next episode

Did Flegel really stay in that alleyway the entire night?

We asked this mostly for fun and respondents didn’t disappoint. The majority believe that he did stay in the alleyway the entire night, but plenty of you had some fun commentary (and sass) to provide us all with some laughs:

Based on how the events at Erwin's went, I'd guess that Reeves was killed nearing dawn and it hasn't been that long.

During the night, he went to slay all of marley and came back in the morning, Flegel for president!

Oh crap, I didn't even notice that. Part of me wants to say maybe he left and came back, but that really doesn't make much sense if he's trying to not get caught. No doubt the Interior Squad would have surveyed the area a little before getting the body ready for a public reveal to frame Erwin.

He took one long leak

He went to get sour cream and came back

Slept in a trash-can then went for a morning stroll

insert Schroedinger's cat analogy

No clearly Annie came and rescued him

Somehow he knew Commander Handsome will be there, so yeah, he stayed. I would stay too <3

no, he crawled up the wall like a spider and slept on the rooftops dont worry

On a scale of 1-5, how distressed are you about Eren being tied, gagged and drugged?

Most respondents seemed unconcerned or indifferent to Eren’s current situation, but those who are distressed were pretty vocal about it:

PLEASE MAKE SURE THE POOR BOY GETS SOME WATER???  The little scene with his in-and-out of consciousness is very distressing to see!

I pray that Eren gets a happy ending; I feel SO stressed for him

Who has the best hat?

Connie’s sunhat took the lead! But we agree that all hats are good and that everyone was looking fab.

HAT HAT HAT I'm really hoping that from this point on, they will follow the manga more closely again, as I am not super impressed by the current shake-up in event order but most importantly HAT HAT HAT JEAN GOT HIS HAT.

The hats!!! The hats are so good!

Love his top hat but lost half his lines for it

JEAANNN'S HAAAT

How many flashbacks within flashbacks is too many?

Half of respondents appreciated the Inception reference and just want to be flashbacked into oblivion. Okay but seriously, there were some who got a bit confused by WIT’s use of flashbacks for some of these scenes. We hope you’re holding up okay during current manga chapters!

bit weird to slow it down this much when the first 2 episodes were so action packed, 2 flashbacks in one episode is a bit much if you ask me. the episode didnt give you any break or a few seconds to let the information sink in.

I was confused by flashbacks in flashbacks. I don't lke that type of stuff and I got feeling that they were traveling in time :/

How do you feel about the rearrangement of events after this episode?

45% are still tentative and not ready to judge the situation just yet. However, a good 37% combined are either content or are already finding they like the changes better. It seems the optimism is starting to improve overall!

Dont remember much of the order of events in this arc, as long as it all makes sense its fine. I trust Isayamas judgment

I prefer the manga’s order, but I am content, BUT I’m still waiting for more episodes to make a final judgement, BUT  I’m still very confused with where they are going with this.

I want to slap the whole WIT Studios and Yams but u know im okay for now.

Same story, different medium. Pretty neutral, happy I don’t know word for word what’s going to happen.

So I was very very nervous about the changes and pacing, but them taking the time to slow down and let the emotional weight of Historia and Erwin's backstories sink in is just what I needed to calm down a bit. I still have some preferences with the manga, but I'm sated to the point of watching and waiting without making too much of a fuss.

Some changes do make the action flow smoother, but im not happy that the studio decided to cut out Reeves-Levi wall bonding and L's squad 2.0's doubts on killing people

Rearrangement? Who cares? Erwin on graveyard was pure sex how was I supposed to thino about rearrangments???

I think the anime is doing a good job restructuring the arc, and is preserving its internal consistency quite well. But I am upset about some of the things that got removed, so I don't quite like the anime's retelling.

The rearrangement was understandable, however until I can look over the whole arc, I wouldn't be able to give a fair opinion on the execution of this season.

How do you feel about Historia’s absence when the Survey Corps proposed she needs to be queen?

As with the previous question, nearly half of voters are not yet ready to judge how the changes will affect the arc overall. 35% of you guys think it was a bad choice on WIT’s part. It’s probably safe to say we’re all on our toes wondering how WIT is going to handle this plot development as they move forward!

I hope we can still see the Levi smiling moment at the end of this arc despite the absence of these scenes.

I prefer Rod being the one to push the idea of her royalty into her, and I still think we'll get a moment regarding Levi's will to accept a different kind of hell and pushing Historia to make a choice in some other way later.

It didn't have a huge significance to the plot but it gave both Historia and Levi some good characterisation.

I feel a mixture of "I need more episodes" and "It was a poor choice".

Had to be done for an action packed start the season but I'm disappointed as it is an important scene for Levi's development

It was a poor choice that broke an important chain of events, it was Levi who had to force Historia.

Ralph called Hange a devil after they were locked up. Was this good foreshadowing to current manga events?

71% of respondents believed that this was good foreshadowing! We suppose one nice part of the anime being as behind from the manga as it is, is that we can recall these older moments that manage to have thematic relevance to current events.

I think Hange being called a devil was amazing foreshadowing, but also in a sense that, by overthrowing the current system, they are unwittingly putting themselves in the exact same position as the old government and its cronies were in with almost exactly the same problems and solutions available to them, the poor things just don't see it yet.

After this week, do you believe future episodes are now going to be more faithful to the original chapters?

50% of voters are confident that WIT is mostly headed back toward the linear timeline of the manga, with maybe small bits and pieces shuffled or omitted. 28% aren’t feeling as optimistic about it, however. But 18% are confident we’re back onto the strict manga timeline.

I'll have to wait and see all the episodes. No point trying to guess, only to be disappointed. Isayama authorised the changes, let's see what his new vision of these chapters!

I believe they will be faithful more than just "a little bit."  It seems the PV is a good indicator of that.  The Historia rising up to be queen is definitely going to be handled differently and there is no way around that.  But I'm ready, Wit!

im still trying to grasp what they trying to do of the pacing and the moments and i still hope the upcoming eps will make sense of all that cuts and flashbacks.

They'll have to do something different with Levi and Historia's 'discussion' about her becoming queen. I wonder if it will happen later, and someone else will do Reeve's line about him being a scary but good man? It would be interesting if someone like Mikasa does it.

Leaked episode titles PROVE they are gonna butcher up the cave scene

Maybe yes, maybe not. It all depends on Isayama and WIT, so let us wait for episode 41, shall we?

Which scene from the PV are you most looking forward to this week?

The largest group are most looking forward to Jean testing whether or not they can trust Marlowe and Hitch (please give us the stick WIT!). The close runner up is Levi interrogating the MP with the nice mustache and a case of foot-in-mouth. Literally.

I'm totally excited to see Marlowe and Hitch!

Central MP HQ next week?!?! Hoping for some new action scenes.

GIVE ME HITCH AND MARLO RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW

everyone in the PV is hot (yes pulverized erwin is still included)

Which group of characters are you favorite?

“All of them” wins as the good neutral vote.

I never know how to answer the which group is your favorite question because my fav is 104th + Annie (sans RB). So I'm always answering sans RBA which is unfair to Annie.

Where you do primarily discuss the series?

Additional thoughts on the episode?

A little bit better, but not enough. But overall I'm satisfied and I enjoyed it.

All in all, a very nicely done episode. I like how the story is coming together, all the different elements in the manga are there, just in a different order. I had high hopes for this season and so far I am not disappointed!

At this point I have absolutely NO clue where they are, or what's going on. The manga was less confusing for me.

Damn cockroaches, always ruining Hange's day.

Earlier I was really salty about Levi having to hold Mikasa back everytime it was mentioned that Eren was kidnapped, but later I noticed that instead of Mikasa being cool with it immediately like she was in her manga, in the anime they are slowing her development down to make it more realistic and believable(Levi had to physically restrain her the first time around, while the second time he just had to talk her down) so I still have faith it wit. I am still a little angry that the "That wasn't how I raised him." scene was cut though. It was an important Mikasa-Armin moment. But oh well! At least we got to see Jean in his glorious fedora!

Felt well-paced, I do like that they are tweeking things to make the anime feel more smooth.

Hanji looked like a snack throughout this episode shes so hot oh my god I’m so gay

Baby Erwin and Historia are wonderful, and I really like that they put two very different parent/child relationships on display here. Erwin's devotion to his father's theories, and the closeness to their relationship paralleled the neglegence Alma showed towards Historia - and in the end, the parents meet the same fate, offed by the Interior Squad."

Both Historia and Erwin's backstories needed stronger direction. Also, just a nitpick, but the soundtrack they used when Sannes told Hange "good luck" was an extremely weird choice. It was a very grim and ominous scene yet the music in the background didn't reflect that.

Pixis' lack of opposition was annoying. It seemed like he was just there so that Erwin had someone to talk about his backstory to. In the manga his red-line of no blood being spilled and his willingness to stay with the nobility if they had unknown but good reasons for their behaviour increased the stakes a lot.

I love the consistent tension buildup and the music choices that just compliment it. Sawano has been on a roll with the new tunes, and the way old ones have been used has been fantastic. Attack on D for Erwin's flashback is a choice I didn't consider, but I'll be damned if that wasn't a great call.

I just want to protect smol Historia and precious little Kidwin

Loving the development for Erwin. People need to realize that he isn't some cold hearted badass. He has feelings too ya know!

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you back on Monday! 

[synthfolks]

well babe u asked for it!!!! Do them All!!!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?prolly jude2. Are you outgoing or shy?depends on context3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?gf when break starts4. Are you easy to get along with?on some level but i dont think im easy to be friends w5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?6. What kind of people are you attracted to?creative ppl w curly hair who make me laugh7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?idk8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?hh. my friend nick9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?not rly honestly, i just worry about making others uncomfortable10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?jude11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“I can’t decide whether to tell you to do odds or evens12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?get innocuous- lcd soundsystem, american guilt- unknown mortal orchestra, fear o the light- katie dey, kaputt- destroyer, nervous young inhumans- car seat headrest13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?yess14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?on some level15. What good thing happened this summer?spent a lot of time w friends and gf16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?ye17. Do you think there is life on other planets?somewhere yeah, not necessarily intelligent life tho18. Do you still talk to your first crush?first real crush occasionally yeah19. Do you like bubble baths?yeah20. Do you like your neighbors?i live in a dorm but yeah21. What are you bad habits?biting nails, talk too much, messy22. Where would you like to travel?south america23. Do you have trust issues?lol24. Favorite part of your daily routine?coffee25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?thighs26. What do you do when you wake up?lay in bed forever, then get some coffee27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?idc28. Who are you most comfortable around?jude rn29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?yeah30. Do you ever want to get married?it’s not like a goal but it’d be nice31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?ya32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?beck (not rly)33. Spell your name with your chin.not gonna do this w my roommate sitting here34. Do you play sports? What sports?climbing obvs35. Would you rather live without TV or music?tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?usually37. What do you say during awkward silences?idk fucking ramble or complain about something38. Describe your dream girl/guy?idk kind funny patient w me 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?thrift stores, in terms of brands i like prana40. What do you want to do after high school?im in college!41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?no42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?im bothered by smth, or im just chilling, or im out of it43. Do you smile at strangers?ya44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?ocean45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?who knows46. What are you paranoid about?lol!47. Have you ever been high?ya48. Have you ever been drunk?ya49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?i dont think so 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?no idea51. Ever wished you were someone else?always52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?i wanna be better at making and having friends53. Favourite makeup brand?nyx dude idk54. Favourite store?idk55. Favourite blog?climbsbian56. Favourite colour?blue57. Favourite food?idk but i rly fucking love thai food ive eaten it 4 days this week58. Last thing you ate?chocolate59. First thing you ate this morning?some weird bougie candy 60. Ever won a competition? For what?climbing comps!61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?both for self harm62. Been arrested? For what?nah63. Ever been in love?yeah64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?rly liked this girl in 8th grade, spilled that i liked her during truth or dare, we both went to another friend’s house for a sleepover and in the middl of the night she kissed me and we made out for lke 30 min while our other friend was 6 inches away from us. we thought she was asleep but she wasnt65. Are you hungry right now?sorta66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?sometimes67. Facebook or Twitter?neither but i use twitter even less than fb68. Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?no70. Names of your bestfriends?hanae, i’d say jude71. Craving something? What?titty72. What colour are your towels?white72. How many pillows do you sleep with?1 but i have a ton more on my bed73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?no74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk maybe 20 somewhere back home75. Favourite animal?dogs?76. What colour is your underwear?blue77. Chocolate or Vanilla?chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?any sorta chocolate79. What colour shirt are you wearing?gray80. What colour pants?navy pajama pants81. Favourite tv show?idk probs the good place atm82. Favourite movie?idk83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?ive only seen mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?the goth lesbian86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?um87. First person you talked to today?barista88. Last person you talked to today?some person in the common room, texting jude tho89. Name a person you hate?zach90. Name a person you love?jude91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?honestly would love to punch my friend/boss. but then be cool after92. In a fight with someone?no93. How many sweatpants do you have??94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have??95. Last movie you watched?i literally can’t even remember96. Favourite actress?idk man97. Favourite actor?“98. Do you tan a lot?not rly99. Have any pets?dog bodhie!100. How are you feeling?kinda overwhelmed101. Do you type fast?yeah102. Do you regret anything from your past?so many things!103. Can you spell well?yeah104. Do you miss anyone from your past?yeah105. Ever been to a bonfire party?yeah106. Ever broken someone’s heart?yeah107. Have you ever been on a horse?yeah108. What should you be doing?school project109. Is something irritating you right now?my relationship w 2 of my friends110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?ya111. Do you have trust issues?ya112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?jude? almost cried in front of a psychiatrist today113. What was your childhood nickname?emenator or em114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?ya115. Do you play the Wii?used to116. Are you listening to music right now?yeah117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?yeah118. Do you like Chinese food?yeah119. Favourite book?hard question!120. Are you afraid of the dark?not rly121. Are you mean?sometimes122. Is cheating ever okay?sometimes123. Can you keep white shoes clean?no124. Do you believe in love at first sight?not rly125. Do you believe in true love?idk!126. Are you currently bored?kinda127. What makes you happy?climbing128. Would you change your name?mm idk129. What your zodiac sign?gemini130. Do you like subway?it’s fine131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? im lesbian and lets not get into this132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?prolly jude133. Favourite lyrics right now? h134. Can you count to one million?hypothetically bruh it takes literally days135. Dumbest lie you ever told?idk136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closed137. How tall are you?5′6.5″138. Curly or Straight hair?wavy139. Brunette or Blonde?in between140. Summer or Winter?summer141. Night or Day?night142. Favourite month?june143. Are you a vegetarian?no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?dark145. Tea or Coffee?coffee146. Was today a good day?it was fine147. Mars or Snickers?snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?idk it’s all the hard questions ig149. Do you believe in ghosts?sort of150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? an unfamiliar city and get home through the wilderness, in case

[canonise]

I found something I wrote somewhere around this time last year and its funny to read bc lke some stuff has changed and other stuff hasnt and overall i’m still the same dramatic whiny bitch but i feel distance from most of what i said which is good, like i typed the whole long ass thing up (mostly to avoid studying) and it didnt stir up any feelings im just glad i have friends now but i want to have it saved somewhere

How do i feel?

How i feel after every interaction

awkward, like i did something wrong/ misstepped in someway

I’m not good at it but Katie [my old counsellor] says i need to practice so I will otherwise my already bad social skills will only get worse . Also I’m not going to expect much/anything when meeting (these) new people bc i know my skill level so I cant overestimate connection w/ people I’ll just go and eat

and its ok if they find you weird or boring bc you know that’s what youre giving off. You’re not coming at them with your 100% fully relaxed natural self which if they didnt like you could take personally. Instead youre coming at them with your avoidant, anxious, shy, quiet self which is only one facet of you. if they dont like that its understandable, you dont even like living it

reasonable expectations only

i’m tired, at 4.30 i’ll go to the pharmacy

--

this is why my depression isn’t really going anywhere it’s almost entirely situational + linked to avpd n social anxiety so those things are always going to be a trigger for me and often because i cant avoid some interactions + isolating will make everything worse in the long run. so i’m always going to be depressed and suicidal in relation to that, not that meds do nothings for me but i really cannot tell what is contributing to my ‘better’ days

--

[this is the funniest bit]

im really dying out here the careers/exam talk didnt help either also can it be cold again its too hot, im really out here being alone and having a heart attack, this is life huh? a dog would love me

my head, my life :(

--

I had so many plans for today

work and errands important things

but im sad and anxious and hurting

i cannot concentrate for the life of me I want to wither away- I want to sleep i cant take it but i guess this is balance because yesterday I was numb af

I actually truly genuinely feel like the only person in the world without friends that doesnt feel normal Katie. its hard when this is all you’re surrounded by

my head hurts :( I wish having no friends was normal. i feel like i cant relate to anyone and just have a uniquely shitty experience of life. I’m just stuck here in this place in this life endless torment and pain im sick of it really sick IM ILL. i remember D saying it was sad i wasnt friends with the black ppl on my course & asking who i was friends with. i mean i think i dodged it but like i have no friends is that not clear? i really think its unfathomable to people that someone can have zero friends bc they havent experienced it bt yeah not one, i literally sit alone

its weird how its ‘brave’ of me to exist, as a loner as a black gay mentally ill muslim woman l m a o like how tragic I literally have everything working against me and not even perspective wise like..systematically. society doesnt want me to exist  anyway im really gonna die in this bitch my whole life sucks I need a big cry i think I’ll do that in the SU toilets

=> big cry in SU toilets its in the schedule now

[nctsolar-remade]

ok also i love how ppl joke abt not having a personality and i seriously can’t understand bc i literally have no personality 

[sadiiomane10]

headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)

when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing, 

“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL

okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….

so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded, 

marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird

i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING

, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,

 zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing 

okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then 

and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,

 LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him 

 BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY

and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,

they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories

and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre 

and emre being all like  pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye

dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.

 cus dont touch the hair dude

klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time, 

but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons

Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too

klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE 

And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you, 

and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like

“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”    

GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON 

que the slap round the head from emre

and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair

 cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre  just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”

and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better, 

but really he only does it to make emres life hell

snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]

LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

emre totes said that him

“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”

loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like “hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly  annoyed

emre chasing him, loris being like  EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair 

a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres……  'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,

 LORISSSSSSSSS

 AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl

and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to

 and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing 

and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love 

and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing 

everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything 

 he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it

poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots

and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…

 bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team 

and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2

emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair

god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!

klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,

 hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him, 

mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,

 they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,

 que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,

cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,

and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll

really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair. 

klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,

 but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,

 hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants, 

adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him    

[golclen-linings]

170115

Sinulog

ohmygod this is gonna be long because I WILL STICK TO DETAIL id ont want to forget this day

alright so i go to bed at 2:30 am after making my OT2 project and ??? I couldnt sleep my heart was palpitating probs cause I was lowkey really excited and yeah I had to wake up at 3:15 to go with mom and i guess I fell asleep at 3 but whoops I woke up at 7 so like fuck i got ready fast and stuff left at 8 and I commuted and walked the rest of the way cause the roads were blocked and i visited my mom then went to my friend’s dorm and what the fuck Andre was supposed to be in Clar’s room but bitch wasnt there good thing Raya was awake so she let me in and we talked in her room and she helped me choose my shorts HAHAHA it was floral “cute” look or denim “mmp” look and yes I chose the mmp AND DAMN DID IT PAY OFF so we waited until like 9:45 and Andre arrived and we went to RF to get Jezzy and she just woke up lol and then Raya got her hair braided and color by Ms Sagi’s sister and Andre got his hair color by Ms Sagi and we went back to the dorm and yay Rue and Cabading were there yay but Clar wasnt there yet bUT WE WERE HUUUNGRY so we left her a note and went to Kent’s houseee we saw Abad outside and went in together and wow Kent’s mom looks young we thought she was Kent’s ate lol and yeah we ate spaghetti and chicken and this fried pork thing yeah and oh there was red velvet cake too yay it was niiiice and so we ate and after we ate we went to the store to buuuuy drinkssssss and then we went back home to the rooooftop and started drinking and. it was gross. because this girl doesnt like island mixers. but ok, whatever, i didnt get drunk. raya did. she was drunk. we finished 2 bottles and we went walking after we passed by the baseline road then went redem then fooda then walked back using the bintana road and hahahahaha it was so fun we kept greeting people and a lot of em were drunk and i love the happy vibes sinulog fiesta drunk people it was really fun raya was a fucking handful but it was fun it was fun we went back to kent’s and just sat and rested and talked ahahaha and oh we played with the sala decor of kent these 2 balls we made into our boobs HAHAHAH it was funny oh and kent has a giant bust of jesus its kinda intimadting anywasy yes we rested and the others ate again and then dindo came with his friend miggy and they ate and we talked and we went rooftop and finished the last bottle and i really wanted to get fucked up so this bitch just kept drinking straight and then it started yes i GOT HIT and we made fun of Miggy raya and I kept playing with him like we would sit beside him and tease him and stuff it was really funny and raya and i took a lotta selfies heheh it was fun it was fun and jezzy is so good at taking photos and nona has a nice camera so it was gooood and then we were gonna walk again but we rested i guess and then dane arrived and his hair grew out and he looked so cute and then he took off his shirt and changed into a muscle tee and dane got hot and then i didnt tagad him at first cause evryone tagaded him and i was kinda dead but he was like niki im here so i stood up and hugged him and then we went out to walk and i held onto him and like awe dane i miss u and him awe niki i miss u too ur so cute and then we walked and walked and it was a long and intense walk because in baseline it was packeddd but it was also good cause dane held my hand and it wsnt kaya so i held on to his shoulders and it wasnt kaya so i held on to his waist and why is he slimmer than me but oh well its ok BECAUSE LATER NA and then we kept walking until ramos until jones and we ate dinner and then we walked to fuente and padung capitol and back to kent’s house and when we went inside iwas with andre and dane and dane asked andre who was the prettiest girl in thr group and he said me and dane agreed and yes niki is the prettiest and we were up the stairs when dane said i was thick and wah my heart fluttered HA HA HA what have i become and then yes we talked again and stuff and then sila dindo left and it was the evening na and the others ate again and i mentioned i wanted to get fucked up and dane awe cmon lets buy niki drinks cmon but no we didnt it was fine and nona had to leave and jezzy forgot about nona cause she wanted to buy me drinks theyre so sweet my friends and then on the way back dane and i linked and why did it feel so intimate i dont know why but it did and we were like agbaying closely and when we went back up he kept complimenting me throughout the time we were together about how i was cute like how he alwsy does but then he called me thick again and said something lol i forgot it was something about me looking nice and then we sat down and i sat inbetween andres legs then stood up then raya lied down on the couch so i sat beside dane and then it started fam we were just talking me dane jezzy kent when dane agbayed me and the agbay went to my waist then back to my shoulder and i held onto his arm too and then we stopped it and he stood to make a joke about the packed rice and jezzy was LETS HAVE A PHOTO WITH DANE so we did and then he tried to weightlfit it and it broke and him jez and i cleaned up the spilled rice and then we stood beside each other while raya kent and jez sat down and kent watched this oreo video and raya looked at me and yeah and i told them the sotry of how my tita died choking on an oreo and dane gave me a reallyy nice hug like full body contact hug and it was soo nice and then we sat back down and i aske dhim if he was okay with his granddad passing and he said yes thank you niki and he left again to make fun of the girls eating chicekn and drinking soju and jezzy and i were talking so i was kinda lying down on the loveseat but i made sure space for dane and what he did was slightly lie down too and make sure my shoulder was on his chin and i put my arm on his waist because when theres an opportunity i take it and it was really nice actually lke it felt really comfy cause he wsnt heavy and the position was fine and i still got to talk and it was so comfortable i was so contented but then he had to leave and we hugged again and when he left we left too we walked to guadalupe and watched fireworks then got a taxi at jollibee banawa after peeing and went to citi di mare and it was fuckin gbullshit but we talked to these 2 kids from ateneo lol adn then we went inside the venue and it smelled like fucking shit it was horrible and gross but what the fuck sososos many gwapo people were there holy fucking shit so many gwapo and hot and tall people were there and we washed our feet with canal water lol manila dudes helped us and we walked to kasadya and got a habal2 from there and at a stoplight this dude in ajeep waved at me and i looked away and his friends laughed at him SHHAAH and we were back at ramos and we called it a night but not really because after washing up clar and i talked until almost 4 and we just shared our perspectives like of them at life dance and our different feelings during that day and it was really nice and fun and ah it was so nice and we both admitted how gwapo daaane was fuck and ahhhh i was so affected i coudlnt stop thinking about it about what happened and what he said and him and i was so affected really and i slept thinkin about him and i woke up to all my alarms but it was too fuckin wet it was raining hard so i fell back asleep and woke up at 9 lol and ere i am now, 170116, typing this instead of studying for ot3 because i got home at 12 and i didnt study to check isac live tweets and complain

[longchunkytooth]

i had this rly intense dream that was weird af but i fucking loved where i was going to christmas dinner at this really fancy hotel and the dinner thing itself was like propped up on this platform surrounded by infinity fountains and black reflective tiles and i didnt want to go at all bc my face was blue or something and my mom dragged me outta the house before i could finish my makeup so once i got thhere i went to the bathroom to wash my face and do my makeup and stuff and i was feeling rly snarky and omw there i saw people i knew and i was like tf why am i doing this and then once i was @ the bathroom i saw someone i knew and I was like yo man and they were being rly friendly and then it turned out they were transitioning or smth but they were rly depressed and only wore rectangle glasses and they looked like ross from friends but they seemed v happy with it and thn i was at the counter doing my eyeliner and the whole bathroom was cramped with the same black tiles as outside so i was sitting on the counter to do a better line and this person i met at model un was beside me doing their eyeline and it looked fkin good and thm my ross friend had a friend who was rly snarky and really fucking cute who was just sitting n the washroom i guess (i guess my dream was reflecting how i think wahsrooms should be genderless bc u just go thre to fkin poo !!!!) and we were having very snarky convesations that i dont remember but i was flirting like hardxcore and we followed each other on spotify it was so fucking dumb but like i was into it anyways and then i guess my dream skipped the actual dinner part ???? and the whole thing just moved locations to this countryish house on the edge of the woods that was shaped like a triangleish on the base and had pumpkin/potato/garden patches on either side of the triangle and it was very victorian style and the owner of the house was the cute boys dad ig but i didnt know them and id never been to this house bfore ?? the house also had this low brick wall going all around it with little wire gates and on the one side of one of the walls that wasnt the entrance and wasnt a garden patch was a mini orchard and there were chairs set up where everyone at the dinner would sit in the mornings  and stuff LAST DETAIL the hallways inside the house were very victorian had tall rounded open doorways the living room/study was on the right and the kitchen was on the left and the stairs in the middle (i never went upstairs tho) but they both had french door types leading out into the garden and it was actually rly pretty and woulda been so dreamy and nice if the whole place wasnt so creepy and fucked up !!! so we got there at sunset i think and everything was chill and i was still into that guy and there was this kid who was maybe 7-10 who was very small and nice that had kind of a blond bowl cut who just showed up which was a nice part of the whole thing and these next parts went by pretty fast so i dont remember much but basically after dark idfk where all the adults went but all the lights turned off in the house and the guy and his dad turned into these rly evil vengeful spirits ig ???? like think the blue things from that beatles movie except like cream/brown colour instead of blue and square bodies that were really maleable, thats what i can remember. so they had these graves that came outta the veggie patches at night and i was like to the cute guy yo wheres ur dad and then i fll into the grave and his dad popped ut all smoky and rectangly around me (his body looked like it had the consistency of very soft sculy around the sides and then the middle was translucent) and me and the kid had to fucking fight them and it was crazy and we went lke all over the house and it took photos with the b and w film on my camera and i kept thinking in the dream how creepy it would be if they were still ther when i woke up (tbh i hope so  i almost fnished the roll and as creepy as it would be it would be so cool i havent checked yet) but we ended up fighting their asses all night and only escaping in the morning when i think they made me wake everyone up by being a rooster on the brick wall ( cant remember) BUT me and the lil boi escped by making a zipline/rope thing either coming outta the trees or on the power line or off the roof of the house on of those and we went so fast they couldnt get us and it did like a super fast time lapse thing and we spent the rest of our lives up until our mid twenties ghost hunting or living like theives in treehouses and his face kept changing but i think the lil dude grew up to look like that guy from scooby doo that velma liked but with like softer features ?? i dont remeber anyways we lived in this rope house in this big tree and 1 day we were like we can take em i guess so we went back to that house and it was all in ruins but the graves were still ish there and we saw the guy and his dad but he was like older and the guy hadnt like .. aged well lol he had longish hair and shit but it was like not a good look for him and we ziplined in an fought em again and i dont rly remember the details but we had to shoo away a gang of kids that used the lot to smoke or smth and we ended up fighting the ghosts or whatever they were so hard that they became rly small and we squeezed and locked them inside of a brass or metal kettle that they couldnt get out of and THATS IT my phone was dead so i just ahd to write this out somewhere bc i thought the dream was cool !!!