#i dont feel any older
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man. one thing they don't tell you about becoming an older teen/young adult is that everyone stops babying you. i realize now that im typing this out that most people probably expect to not be babied by strangers however i, Inside Georg, wasn't allowed to go outside until i was hospitalized so i spent most of my time at home with people who don't respect me and at school where i was the youngest in every single one of my classes. why are people treating me like a person instead of a child now. what is different.
#xenon screams#i dont feel any older#but also time sped up when i started 4th grade so thats probably why#if time was still normal i think it wouldve only been like. a year? two years?
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I have zero objective permanence of time
#probably because I am mentally ill#how is the year almost over#it was just Halloween#we just had thanksgiving#how has this year come and past so fast#im not ready for the passage of time to move without me#i dont feel any older#i don't have my life planed out#i dont know what to do after graduation#but its coming so quickly#i want independence but im not ready for the burden that comes with jt#i can barley get out of bed#how can i survive when everthing depends on it#what is this#2023
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you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.
#.txt#i didnt always know this and i dont pretend i did.#i'm just glad i've learned it now at least#i went straight from a cult-like group into tumblrs 'its ok to kick any one out of your life for any reason' environment in my early 20s#it made my life turbulent lonely and miserable#thinking on the older adults who should have known better leading sheltered young queer people astray back then makes me feel so bitter.
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chat if i may speak
#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#xmen#x2 xmen united#xmen the last stand#xmen dofp#magneto#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#i love the old people !!!!!!#highkey though old people are prob my fave subjects to draw ..#theres just so much line definition- i feel more confident drawing them and saying 'yeah that looks like them'#tho i also feel this way with people/characters who have really defined features and shapes ..... most curious !!!#anyways. i gave him extensions vjalkjlkaejAELJ#long-hair erik is important to me and i simply Had To See with ian mckellens face#at the same time something isnt right ... i cant explain it... im not gonna sit on this any longer tho this just a quick thing vjlkalk#when i inevitably draw older movie erik again ill prob go back to his short hair but i may be subjected to a treat. just this once#i dont wanna drive. totally unrelated. im going home for the weekend and i live so FAR from my dorm i hate it here (no i dont)#i just hate driving VJELAVJAE#whatever its the weekend which means more time for xmen brainrot#i just started S3 of 92 !!!!! in theory im halfway done with the series but S3 is also 26 episodes compared to the previous 13 vjeALVKEJ#OH WELL. im gonna go now i have to start driving at some point i GUESS#i just wanted to leave the people with a silly thing </3 ok bye bye#i have a silly comic planned with younger cherik so heres to hoping i do that !!! it's stupid but funny. i hope#ok bye bye now Truly
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I HAVE AGED YALL ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYY
I'm 1/4 of my way to 100, my bones are already disintegrating
#rhaps art#self doodle#birthday time for the birthday boy#tbh i dont feel any older but MAN I'm in my mid twenties now#that sure is a thing now
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Nosy? I suppose that makes two of us ;)
#this one was funny i couldnt not#i love doing these so much#no clue why i dont just do more simple ones to answer more simple ones i like#thats just more opportunities for him to be silly#maybe i feel like i need to have some substance in each one but thats definitely not why this many people are here#theyre here to talk to him not build much of any story and i gotta go with that more#NINETY SECOND ASK!!!!!!!!!! 8 TILL 100!!!!!!!!#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#my visual inconsistency shocks me. why do some of them look so jarringly different when they arent that old. maybe its only me noticing it.#i unno lol i just wish i were more consistent so i could look at older stuff without seeing everything i would change the moment it#graces my visual orbs#huh
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Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me
i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.
#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it#but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. “the shallura thing worries me” as if i am your little project and things arent going#to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd#and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like#we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need#to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel#like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be#harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines#at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine#through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to#work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the#younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves?#i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there#is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism#anyways#rant#ask
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day 102
no sabo kid
#can you imagine. having phrases of words being intrinsically stuck with you from a language you cant understand#it feels like home but you cannot speak a word of it#and you *should* know it but you dont and it feels like that part of you is lost forever when you can barely say your own name#anywayssss my mom never taught me spanish so now i have to take the ap spanish exam in 9 hours 😋#here i purposefully drew ado from dl3 under the axiom that shes a younger adeleine..no older than nine id think#younger as in she still remembers a couple of words from the Forgotten Language#after that? lack of use and lack of people to talk to made her forget by the time 64 rolls around#by star allies shes completely forgotten the language. its unrecognizable and she barely has any memory of it.#and then of course FL comes and the Identity Crisis#adeleine#adeleine kirby#kirby series#day 102
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for over a week now i keep thinking abt grian and kid xelqua. something abt him taking care of this alternate universe child version of himself. i just stare at the ceiling and my eyes blur
#I HAVE SO MNAY THOUGHTS I DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE#grian knows who xelqua is. he knows who this kid is. but xelqua does not remember nor know ! hes genuinely just a little kid#unsure if he knows Who exactly Grian is though#its also weird for pearl to see kid xelqua. bc thats technically her older brother ? from a different timeline ? as a kid ?#also an unkillable goddd ? oh but hes so cute tho his little cheeks WAHHH#Sometimes adult Xelqua appears on the server. sometimes the kid version#almost always at grian's house i think he just feels safe there#xelqua issss miserable. hes much older than he should be. i think he occasionally gets so stressed out he reverts into a kid#and cant remember anything. but knows he feels safe in HC so he ends up going there#but hes stilllll powerful as a kid he doesn't lose any of that strength. so if he throws a temper tantrum and kills a bunch of fish. well !#theyre soooo brothers but in a way where ur older brother has to take on a parental role and you fight a lot bc of the odd dynamic#ALSO SOMETHING SOMETHING abt grian not having parents. raising himself. craving that sort of attention which led him to the watchers#and then being able to parent this version of himself ? its sad rly. in quiet moments he wonders if he was too difficult as a kid#he doesnt find xelqua that difficult. hes just a little kid. hes silly. hes not hard to love and care for#godh man *head in hands* i collapse thinking abt grian and family themes and its a core part of how i write him haha#IM GOING TO THROW UPP
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Big bad dragon quest bunch of stuff I forgot to share
#dragon quest 11#dragon quest xi#dqxi#dq11#the horrible feeling of falling out of a hyper fixation#these are all decently older#I also always forget what I post here so if there’s any dupes on my page you dont see it lmao
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should i choose a noble occupation? if i did, i'd only show up late and sick and they would stare at me with hatred plus, my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends
#a little something about the seemingly inescapable nature of family and addiction :)#blood#alcohol#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#psychonauts fanart#lili zanotto#axe art#(no i dont think the 10 year old is drinking i just didnt feel like designing her any older 😭)
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one of my favorite things to do is scroll through the fight club tag and go 'he would not fucking say that'
#i value peace and will never clarify#but.#truly#this isnt sparked by any recent post either just always floating around#anyway im working on a little post about 'what if the narrator got put on meds at the start of the book'#moreso why i dont think that joke falls well#anyway yeah toxic trait#this isn't just new people either!#not saying this to throw anything at new or older crowd... i just want everyone to read the book and embrace uncomfortable ambiguity#and thinking critically about things theyve previously accepted as fact even when it feels dangerous to do so#that is one of the core messages of the book. to me#(by that i mean i could provide immense support from the text)
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Aang: Sooooo, who are you again? Kuruk: I'm Avatar Kuruk, the Water Avatar that came after Yangchen and before Kyoshi. Aang: Mmmm hmmm. And what did you do? Kuruk, sweating: Uhhhhhh not a lot. Aang: Really? What was your biggest accomplishment then? Kuruk: Being the baby girl who was lucky to be born between big boss mommies? Kyoshi: Don't ever call me that again. Or I swear to Raava, you will wish Father Glowworm finished you off. Yangchen: Kuruk, that better not be sexually charged at us. Kuruk: Of course not big boss air mommy. I mean it only in the most respectful way. u_u Yangchen: Fiiiiiiiiiiine, carry on. Kyoshi: No I don't "carry on!" I don't fucking care if it is or isn't suppose to be taken like that, or how true it is, don't fucking call me that again!
#Aang: this is weird#Kyoshi: YC shuuuut up! you're just sweet on waterbenders#yangchen: hate the game not the player u_u Plus you wouldnt be complaining if Rangi was the one who called you that#kyoshi: there is a very big difference between rangi calling me that and Kuruk calling me that#kyoshi: I already have mental damage from the both of you dont add to it!#yangchen: you exaggerate#kyoshi: oh yeah? so it wouldn't make you feel any different if kavik called you that vs kuruk calling you that#yangchen: .......................#Yangchen: i plead the fifth#kyoshi: oh yeah fucking FIGURED!#chronicles of the avatar#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#dawn of yangchen#legacy of yangchen#atla#avatar the last airbender#aang#kyoshi#yangchen#kuruk#don't lie kuruk just tell aang the truth!!! TT0TT#kuruk and kyoshi are like yangchen's children u_u#kyoshi wants to kill her older brother half the time TT0TT#kyoshi woke up violent today u_u#kuruk deserves to be the baby girl uwu YC and Kyoshi will fix the human world you relax sweetie
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I am here, once again, with my Ao No Flag propaganda
These two specific panels of Toma were the thing that made me think over a year ago “Man. I want to be like that too” as in KAITO drawing expression because—
The subtle shift of emotion, it’s present all throughout the manga, but this is what sold it for me. For no particular reason, it’s not even the best example, it was just what sealed the deal to me
#it’s the way his eyes open slightly in surprise when Seiya tells him that his friends refused to give an explanation when asked about#what happened in what I think is a way of them showing they care about Toma#and that surprises Toma since I believe he might have been doubtful his friends would forgive him after that#which man. idk maybe it’s because it hit home in some other things. it’s so good#Kaito handles the way the characters express themselves so good I’m always in awe anytime I reread any volume#it’s just. they feel so real in their flaws and mistakes and how they take it. for example our dear protagonist#man he is a wreck. but it’s understandable since he is going through a stage in life where he is still understanding himself!#and KAITO depicts it so nicely and lets him be awful. and let’s everyone be it too. they fuck up yes! but it’s not the end of the world#and he shows that too. how it’s okay to make mistakes but you have to owe them and grow from them not get stuck in them#it’s the little me inside of myself that was making me weep I believe#Ao no flag#blue flag#toma mita#yeah this is about volume 7 too#well i dont know it’s the way Seiya is older sibling anguish that hit me with a bat personally because 🤝. same.#and just. AAAAGGHHHH I’m going insane
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been wondering so im making a poll
added that i mean when its either neutral, like an extra explanation when soemthing wasnt clear or you asked a question in the tags, or in a positive way, like an observation you made im happy about or an idea (i wouldnt even consider saying someones name when i mean it negatively- even then i rarely talk about these things bc i usually just ignore it unless its something that gets to me personally/is so bad it needs to be mentioned)
#ganondoodles talks#tumblr polls#i have noticed theres been a significant drop in reblogs with tags#like its been a long trend of reblogs dying out- which sucks immensely#but it feels like its getting worse + even fewer people leave tags with commentary#so i wana know if maybe i made people not want to add anything out of fear icould mention them or bc i DONT mention their name#like either way#pls know that commentary- esepcially in tags- is like .. my lifeblood when it comes to art#i go to posts- even older ones- very often just to reread some or see if i missed any
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i personally think there was no need to make remarks about age
#i dont need to feel any more ashamed about this when i shouldn't feel ashamed about this in the first place#because three years is not a HUGE difference. it IS an age gap but it isn't a GIGANTIC red flag-waving age gap.#but i guess for a guy it is if the girl is older#but anyway man it was comment after comment line after line and i felt like i was standing in front of a firing squad#not gonna lie my whole chest literally hurts when i think about it too deeply!#i have literally never been told before that i'm not an option because i'm too old#i also personally (and this is a bit bitter of me to say so maybe) i resent the fact that he did take the time to tell me that he was not#personally attracted to me. and then add at the end of the conversation that if i were younger he'd consider it#like. you literally told me you don't like me that way and aren't attracted to me that way#so the only reason you'd consider me as an option really is the fact that you know I'M interested in you ????#anyway makes me want to throw up:)#the waiting room chapter
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