#i dont even use her burst because its just not worth it lol

[mrpenguinpants]

SCARAMOUCHE TOMORROW (on NA server at least) HOW WE FEELIN??????????

ISTG IF THIS FUCKER DOESN'T COME HOME WITH MY LIMITED PRIMOGEMS BECAUSE I GOT SCAMMED BY MONA IM GOING TO LEVEL MY RAIDEN UNTIL SHE CAN ONE-SHOT SCARAMOUCHE.

Your future name rides on this scaradouche.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Motel Living

this idea would not leave me alone, despite me having like three other fics barely done. it is very random. i dont even know what to say lol.

2554 words

enjoy!

Today was officially the one month anniversary of Aelin moving into a three-star motel. She did not think she'd be here for long, a couple of weeks at most, but here she was a month later, and on a Friday night no less. She should have been out with her friends, but she opted to stay inside.

She had to tell herself that she shouldn't complain. That there were people that were worse off than her. Living in a motel was fine.

But it still didn't change the fact that Aelin wished she wasn't living in a motel room. Especially one that was popular with long haul truckers whose snores sounded like chain saws and blenders on the highest level. That right now, down in the restaurant/pub that was only six doors down, an important football game was playing and the patrons inside were cheering wildly.

Aelin missed the house that she had been renting the last three years. Last year she had decided to start saving so that she could purchase the house itself, since it was still on the market since the day she moved in. It was hard, but Aelin was a determined woman and she set her sights on purchasing the house—she felt like she practically owned it anyway—up until the day she received a call from the real estate agency telling her that the house had been purchased and she had to move out.

Aelin disliked crying, but the waterworks started the minute she hung up. She really did love that house. Had created a small vegetable and herb garden to make it feel more homely. Made it hers in the three years she had occupied it.

There was a tiny silver-lining, however, since the new owners were coming from the other side of the continent, she had plenty of time to pack and move out.

But that silver-lining quickly disappeared once she started her search for a new home in-between packing and work. Every apartment, every house, every unit she looked out at was taken by the time she handed in her application. Every inspection starting to become fruitless when she knew that she wouldn't be the one to live in it.

Aelin hadn't realised that the market had become so cut-throat. She knew she was the perfect applicant because in all her years renting she never missed a single day, never received a complaint. Even when the landlord dragged his ass to fix something, Aelin kept her temper in its leash and did not throttle him the way she wanted too.

And as her luck ran out and Aelin had started to truly worry about where she was going to live because while she had multiple people in her life, she quickly realised that she couldn't ask any of them if she could move in for multiple reasons:

Aedion and Lysandra were recently married, and Aelin hadn't wanted to burst their newlywed bubble.

Chaol and Yrene were brand new parents, their baby girl born the day Aelin moved out, and she knew the last thing they wanted was someone else in the way.

Nehemia was in the same position as her, but her parents had invited her back home while Nehemia looked for somewhere else. Aelin's parents were dead, and her childhood home had been destroyed in a wildfire a five years ago, and Aelin had used the insurance money to pay off her debts. She cursed herself now for doing that, but Aelin hated being in debt and she did what she had too.

Fenrys lived in a one bedroom unit and had the worlds most uncomfortable couch, so he was out. And while Fenrys was one of her best friends, she didn't really talk with Connall, his twin. Nor did she often talk with Vaughn.

Dorian and Manon were travelling all over Erilea and Dorian's younger brother Hollin was house-sitting. Aelin couldn't stand Hollin for more than a few minutes at a time and she would rather live in the motel for a year than live in with him.

And then there was Rowan. He had been a close friend for years, until five months ago they decided that they had liked each other too much to keep being friends and officially started dating (at Lysandra and Aedion's wedding, of all places). If they had been together for longer, she would have asked him—but she didn't want to rush anything, because Aelin could so clearly see a future with him and she didn't want to hurt that future by moving in far too early in their relationship.

So that left Elide, her lifelong friend that was more like a sister. Elide was purely on the bottom of the list since she knew her friend cherished living alone after living in a shit-hole with her even shittier uncle—but Aelin knew Elide and if Aelin needed a place to stay, then Elide's door would be wide open. The two had gone to lunch and Aelin had been just moments away from telling Elide everything and asking for a world changing favour.

Until Elide had excitedly announced that Lorcan was going to move in.

And Aelin's plan had deflated. Again, Aelin knew that if Elide was aware of how desperate she was, Elide would invite Aelin to stay, but since Lorcan and Aelin didn't particularly get along, Aelin kept her mouth shut and congratulated her friend for the new milestone in their relationship.

So, all her options completely exhausted, Aelin looked for vacant motels, found that this was the best out of all the options and became a long-standing tenant.

Aelin had managed to keep everyone away from her new apartment by claiming that it wasn't ready for visitors. Most knew that Aelin was house-proud, a trait that she had inherited from her late mother, so they knew that when Aelin was ready, she would invite them.

It was getting hard, however, to keep Rowan away. Each date night and hang out ended up at his apartment and Rowan was becoming curious as to how her new place was looking.

Rowan wasn't judgemental, and he wouldn't look down at her for living in a motel room, but Aelin was the problem; she was too proud to show him her new place. Even when she was at her lunch with Elide, she had to beat down her pride at just the mere thought of asking Elide if she could move in.

Tonight, however, Aelin knew in her bones that Rowan would ask to come over. He had a completely shitty day at work—one that ended up in the hospital because for the first time in his career as a carpenter, Rowan had somehow gotten his hand in the way of his nail gun and shot right through the middle of his palm and was off work until it healed, which Rowan hated the most out of the whole ordeal, since Rowan was the type of person that always had to be doing something.

So when his face finally popped up on her phone screen, Aelin muffled a groan into her pillow (because there was no way in hell she was using the standard sheets the motel provided, she needed her bedding or she wouldn't get any sleep), took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto her face.

“How's the hand?” she asked by way of greeting.

“It'd be a lot better if there wasn't a hole in it,” was his groggy reply. “I just woke up from the longest nap and thought of you.”

“That's sweet of you to say,” Aelin said, “do you want me to come over? I could cook you my world famous grilled cheese.” Please say yes, she thought, please.

“As much as I love the sound of that, I just need to get out of my house,” Rowan said, “I know that you're house-proud and if you don't want me to see it, I understand, I'll even wear a blind fold if that'll make you happy, but I just...” he trailed off and Aelin could see his pained expression even though they were miles apart.

“Seeing all your work tools is making you miserable,” she supplied. Rowan grunted in confirmation. Taking a deep breath, Aelin said, “You can come over, I don't mind. I'd be happy to see you.” And she would be. She'd just have to kick her pride in the corner. “There's a pub right around the corner from mine and the cheeseburgers they have are really fucking good, and I mean that sincerely. Do you want me to get you one? Because I only have snacks and canned food at the moment.”

“A burger sounds good, with extra tomato, please.”

Aelin smiled. “Of course, I'll text you the address, and I'll see you soon.”

After ordering their dinner, Aelin tidied up (even though the space was immaculate) and waited, and waited. When a gentle knock sounded at her door, Aelin took the food from the restaurant worker and was just about to go back in when Rowan's truck pulled up.

Even ten car spots away, Aelin could see his puzzled expression from where she stood. Placing the food on the small, round dining table, Aelin waited by the door and gave Rowan her best smile when he stood in front of her.

His puzzled expression melted away momentarily when she kissed him hello, but it was back in full force when they pulled away.

“Fireheart,” was all he said, and it said everything that he didn't say.

“I know.”

“You're living in a motel room.” There was no judgement in his voice, like she knew there wouldn't be, but it was clear that he was confused about the whole thing. She should have just told him. She loved her late mother, but really hated the fact that she had passed her pride to Aelin. She hated the fact that, deep down, she was embarrassed, even if Aelin told herself that she had no reason to. The housing market was insane, there was no where else for her to go, and that she hated herself for not saving more money to buy her home of three years.

“I am,” Aelin said, “but it's not so bad. It's affordable and clean.” Aelin invited him inside and sat him down the small dining table.

From his spot, he took in the space. Saw the bar fridge that could barely hold a bags worth of cold food, her toaster oven and the dual butane stove she had to purchase because she didn't want to have to use the toaster oven all the time. The tiny closet that held a decent amount of clothes, but didn't make a dent in her considerable mountain of clothes that she had put away in the storage unit she was renting.

None of her candles were in sight and no books either. Aelin was taking full advantage of her library apps, but it wasn't the same. Aelin loved the feeling of a book in her hands, but there was no space and it would have been silly to bring in her bookcases.

“Where's all your stuff?”

“In a storage unit. I considered living in there, but it doesn't have an air-conditioner and this place does.”

Before Rowan could say anything, Aelin turned on the TV, put on whatever movie sounded dumb enough and ate her dinner.

Aelin could see the question burning in his eyes as she stuffed her mouth to avoid answering that very question.

Why didn't Aelin ask if she could stay with him?

Aelin wanted to tell him, she really did, but was afraid that if she showed how serious she was, Rowan might admit that he wasn't as serious as her.

But Aelin knew herself, knew that she was going to tell him at one point or another. She could tell Rowan anything and he wouldn't flinch. It was her own doubt stopping her.

“That really is the best burger I've ever had,” Rowan said when he was finished.

“It really is,” was all Aelin could think of to say. Gods, she felt so damned awkward. The question was still in Rowan's eyes, even as he laughed at the movie and its stupidity. So to avoid it for a bit longer, Aelin took the take-away boxes into the dumpster outback and immediately went for a shower afterwards.

When she came out, Rowan was lounging on her bed, his injured hand laying across his chest, the other arm fiddling with her comforter. Aelin dressed in a shirt that she may have borrowed without asking from Rowan and a pair of sleep shorts.

Borrowing underneath her comforter, Aelin rested her head on Rowan's chest and the awkwardness she felt deflated a bit as he pressed a kiss on her head.

Aelin told him how she ended up here. Including her embarrassment and annoyance at herself. Rowan listened attentively, as he always did. That was one of the biggest things she loved about him, that he listened. And Aelin was in love with him, she knew without a doubt. She was certain she fell in love with him when he danced with her at Aedion and Lysandra's wedding.

When the credits started to roll, Aelin took a deep breath and decided to plunge into uncharted territories. She kept her eyes glued onto the screen.

Aelin decided to bite the bullet. If it all went to hell, she would beat herself up later.

“I don't want to fuck things up with you.” Well, that wasn't how she wanted to start this conversation, but she supposed it was the best way to start off. “I wanted to ask you if I could move in, but our relationship is just so new, and I didn't want to ruin our future, because I can see a future with you, Rowan.” Moving so that she could look Rowan in the eye, Aelin took the deepest plunge imaginable and told him, “I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.”

The smile he gave her was the most beautiful she'd ever seen. “I love you, too, Aelin.” Reaching down to kiss her, all of Aelin's doubts melted away. When he pulled back, Rowan said softly, “If you wish to ask, I'll say yes. Because I see a future with you too. You're the one for me.”

“Rowan, can I move in with you?”

He kissed her again. “Yes, you can.”

Aelin's cheeks were started to become sore from all her smiling. Maybe it was a good thing after all that she ended up living here.

Hours later, after another bad movie and celebrating the new milestone in their relationship (which was mainly Aelin laughing as she rode Rowan because he kept forgetting about his injured hand), Aelin and Rowan got ready for bed, and as Aelin rested her head on his chest again, she said, “Just to let you know, I'm going to replace your mattress for mine, because yours is hard as stone.”

“That's exactly why I'm letting you move in, I'm in the market for a new mattress.”

Aelin playfully whacked his chest and muttered what a buzzard he was, but soon fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for her future with Rowan.

[roseworth]

mind trap one shot :^)

heyo here's a little bit of mind trap angst just because im bored idk

honestly theres almost no context to this, basically i just wanted him to be controlled by the mind trap lol. the reason he can be controlled is that as a member of the royal bloodline of the dark kingdom hes automatically sworn to the moonstone (tbh i didnt put a lot of thought into it but neither did the writers when they wrote the mind trap so its fine lol)

(ps im gonna be real with you guys i dont really know the difference between a drabble, a ficlet, and a oneshot. i was gonna call this a ficlet but i was scared of being wrong so i figured oneshot is the safest option)

word count: 1873 

characters: eugene & rapunzel

description: Eugene gets taken over by the Mind Trap. Rapunzel needs to find a way to get him back before it’s too late.

note: this takes place sometime during plus est en vous. theyre in the throne room alone. idk just dont think about it too hard

Everything seemed to stop for a moment. Rapunzel felt like her body was frozen in place as Eugene turned around, his eyes glowing electric blue.

“Eugene?” she whispered hesitantly as he stepped closer. Something in her brain was telling her to back away, but it was like her feet were frozen to the ground. He took another step closer and drew his sword.

She released her hair from her braid and held it up just in time to block his sword from hitting her. He glared at her wordlessly and went to swing again, which she once again blocked.

“Eugene, I- I don’t know what to- you- how…” she stuttered helplessly as she started to stumble backwards. His gaze didn’t change at all.

“Tell you what,” he said finally, crossing his arms. “If you give up now, I’ll give you a quick and painless death.”

She felt her eyes fill with tears as she shook her head. “I won’t give up, you know that.”

He smirked. “I know, but it was worth a shot.”

This made her feel even worse. She couldn’t even tell herself that he didn’t know her or didn’t recognize her. Now she knew that he still remembered her even as he was attacking her.

Maybe that means there’s a chance to get through to him, she thought, but quickly shoved it away. She didn’t want to bother getting her hopes up like that while he was still trying to hurt her.

She didn’t really know anything about the Mind Trap or how to free someone from it. Heck, she didn’t even know why Eugene was being controlled by it, but she didn’t exactly have the opportunity to figure that out right now.

She dodged another attack from him and backed away to put distance in between the two of them, trying to think of some semblance of a plan. She couldn’t keep blocking and dodging him forever, but there was no way she could let herself even try to hurt him. The Mind Trap was still all the way in Cassandra’s tower, and she wasn’t sure if she would even be able to get out of the castle, let alone all the way to the tower.

“Aw, Sunshine, I’m almost disappointed,” he sneered. The nickname that she normally loved now felt like a punch in the gut as he said it. “I’ve seen you do better than this. I mean, come on, you’ve hit me with your frying pan more times normally than you are now.” She didn’t respond as she brought up her hair to block yet another one of his hits.

Even if she did fight back, there was no way she could win. She assumed they might be evenly matched ordinarily, but ordinarily he wasn’t fighting to kill.

Thinking about that made her feel almost nauseous. The person she loved more than anything else was now trying to kill her (or at least being used as a vessel to kill her).

“One of us is going to have to stop eventually,” he remarked. His voice had the cadence of a joke, but his expression said otherwise.

“And I’ve never been one to give up,” Rapunzel retorted.

“I know. I think under normal circumstances I would like that about you. Right now, though, it’s already getting to be a pain.”

It felt like her heart had been torn out of her chest the more he said things like that. It felt like he was already killing her knowing that something in him recognized her right now and still chose to attack. Not chose, she reminded herself. He has no control over this.

Looking into his glowing blue eyes, she thought about the way they usually were. His warm brown eyes and his soft expressions seemed like a distant memory compared to what was staring back at her now.

Just moments ago she had kissed him, and somewhere in the back of her mind wondered if that had been the last time she ever would. “No,” she whispered aloud. That wouldn’t be the last, she could fix this.

She just needed a plan. The Mind Trap reacted to the Moonstone, and she had the power of the Sundrop, there had to be something she could do. Worth a shot.

Her eyes fell shut as she channeled the Sundrop’s power. There was a burst of light around her as her hair lit up, causing a wave of energy.

She opened her eyes to see Eugene had been knocked to the floor. She wanted to run to him, but opted to keep her distance. She watched as he sat up and rubbed his head, his eyes closed.

And she felt her heart sink as he opened them and they were still just as blue as before.

“Nice to see you’re finally on the attack, Blondie,” he mocked. “Too bad it wasn’t enough.”

He lifted himself back onto his feet and scowled. She wished this would all stop. She wished everything could just go back to normal. She wanted so badly to hold out hope, but she was out of ideas.

“I’m not going to fight you,” she insisted, trying to ignore the way tears were starting to spill out of her eyes. She met his intense stare with one of her own as he moved towards her.

“I can’t say I’m surprised, Sunshine,” he grinned coolly. Again, the usually affectionate nickname made her stomach churn as her tears continued to stream down her face. He stood inches away from her, neither of them moving. It was taking everything to keep herself from running towards him, looking for comfort that she wouldn’t find.

As he tightened his grip on his sword once more, she reached for her hair only to find out that he was pressing his foot on it, keeping it in place. He smirked at her. “You lost your defense,” he taunted callously. She tried to tug her hair away, but he was keeping a firm hold on it.

“Eugene…” she said quietly. Everything felt numb as she imagined him as the man he really was instead of the one who was about to kill her. The man who was always there for her no matter what happened. The man who had saved her in more ways than anyone could understand. That man wasn’t the person standing over her right now, lifting his sword above his head to strike.

“Eugene,” she said again, louder this time. “I don’t know if the real you can hear me, but I just need you to know that I know this isn’t you. And I love you so much.”

She thought for a moment that she saw him falter, but gave up her wishful thinking as the sword came closer to her. She squeezed her eyes shut as the love of her life was about to end it.

Nothing happened.

For a split second, she wondered why she was never hit.

Then she heard him cry out in pain.

Her eyes shot open to see that he was crumpled on the ground, his own sword stabbed through his leg. He pulled the sword out and threw it across the room.

“Eugene!” she yelled, dropping to her knees next to him. She looked at his face and was beyond relieved to be met with brown eyes looking back at her affectionately. “Eugene, you’re… you’re back,” she sighed happily, getting lost in his eyes and forgetting for a moment about his leg that was still bleeding out.

He tried to smile back at her, but it ended up as more of a grimace in pain, bringing both of them back into reality. “I just- I couldn’t let myself hurt you,” he said, holding back tears. “I’m so sorry.”

She wiped away her own tears and nodded. “I know, I know. It’s okay,” she reassured him, turning her attention back to his leg. He took his jacket off and wrapped it around the wound to try to stop the bleeding. She helped secure it in place and applied pressure on the wound, and he let out a groan as he instinctively tried to move away. She gave him an apologetic look, but continued pressing her hand down on his leg.

“Hey, look at me, it’s gonna be okay,” she soothed, putting her other hand on his cheek. She tried as hard as she could to distract him from the pain. He grabbed her hand and smiled gently.

“I’m so sorry, Sunshine, I couldn’t-”

“It’s okay, I understand. It was the Mind Trap, I know,” she whispered, though she felt a rush of relief in her chest after hearing him say “Sunshine” in a loving way again.

“I don’t know what happened, I just… I suddenly didn’t have control of my body. It was like I was feeling myself move and hearing myself talk and I couldn’t do anything about it. I kept trying to fight it, but…” he trailed off, his eyes starting to fill.

“Don’t worry about it, just focus on me, it’s gonna be okay,” she said as his entire body shuddered from another wave of pain.

“Rapunzel, you have to go,” he urged suddenly. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold the Mind Trap off for.”

She looked deeply into his eyes, doing her best to stay strong and help him. It was taking all her effort not to break down right then, and she finally gave in. Before she could even think to try to stop herself, she was sobbing into Eugene’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. “I won’t leave you,” she choked out. He squeezed her tighter towards him, his leg now numb to the pain.

“I can’t watch myself hurt you, Sunshine,” he said brokenly as he started to cry too. “It’ll be okay soon, I promise.”

Rapunzel lifted herself up and wiped her tears away. “It’ll be okay,” she repeated through tears. “I’m going to destroy the Mind Trap, then I’ll come right back here.”

He gave her a weak smile, then brought her closer to him again to kiss her. She closed her eyes as she kissed him, hoping that she would be able to keep her word and destroy it. Not just for Eugene, but for everyone. For the members of the Brotherhood that had lost control over their own thoughts. For the others that had loved ones being taken over.

She moved away slightly as she felt Eugene shift in her grasp. She opened her eyes, and her heart shattered as she was once again met with his glowing electric blue eyes. She stood up and backed away from him.

He made an effort to stand up and go after her, but his wounded leg wasn’t doing him any good. Not to mention, even if he could get up, his weapon was still on the other side of the room. He yelled at Rapunzel as she started to run away, but she did her best to tune out what she was saying. She only had one goal in mind now.

“I’ll be back,” she promised quietly, rubbing her eyes as she ran out of the castle. “It’s gonna be okay.”

[alreadyblondenow]

King Taeyong | 2

Taeyong x ballerina!reader // SMUT, FLUFF, angst, fantasy!au Summary: Lee Taeyong is slowly changing your life making you happier that you could ever be. He made you happy but you didn’t know why he left you without saying a word. Will he come back?  Word Count: 4k Warnings: Unprotected sex and whole lot of filth lol but not too much, swearing, insecurity, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols but not too much  Note: The fantasy part will take part next chapter hihi enjoy the filth in this chapter. And Jaehyun is here hihi Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

You welcomed Lee Taeyong in your life without any hesitation and it is the best decision you made. Your apartment is slowly having life, pictures of you and Taeyong scattered on every corner as if its a reminder that you have him and that you’re not dreaming, his things are neatly stacked on his small space in your apartment, you wear his clothes almost everyday because they’re really comfortable.

A normal day with Taeyong goes like this: You wake up from a great fuck from last night, you cuddle in bed in the morning still sore from fucking and if you’re lucky enough he will fuck you before breakfast, you make him a heavy breakfast he makes you good coffee, he tries to tie your hair but fails everyday and tells you he will get it right someday.

Slowly you meet people in his life, and he tells you about his company and what he really does at work when he’s not with you. Finding out that Taeyong builds schools and children’s home makes your heart bursts into happiness because you know his heart is genuine and true. You met Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny you think that all four of them are really handsome.

One morning while he was trying to tie your hair, he told you that he needs to be gone for a few days because of work and the thought of not seeing him even just for a day is already heavy for you. “I understand, but how long?” you turned to face him, your hair is still a mess.

“I dont know actually. This might take a while.” he can feel your sadness already so he hugged you from behind and peppered you with kisses. “I’ll make it up to you when I got back. I promise.” You smiled and told him you understand his line of work, you told him to come grocery shopping with you and have dinner tonight before he leaves, he agrees.

When you got back from the grocery store with Taeyong, a man almost looked like a prince is waiting for you outside your apartment. You were surprised and you almost dropped the bag that you’re carrying.

“Jaehyun”

He turned around and smiled at you flashing those cute dimples. He helped you with the grocery bags and you hugged him tightly cupping his face telling him you missed him so much and that its been a long time. Jaehyun has purple hair now, and you noticed and complements his white skin and you told him he looks handsome than ever. Taeyong clears his throat and was waiting for you to introduce the man to him. He almost got jealous.

“Oh I’m sorry. Taeyong, this is Jaehyun. My childhood friend-“

“And her future husband” Jaehyun offers his right hand for a shake and mocking smile.

Taeyong is now jealous. He shakes Jaehyun’s hand nonetheless. “Very funny Jaehyun we both know that’s impossible” you but in and invited him inside.

Jaehyun noticed your apartment changed a lot, he saw the pictures of you and Taeyong almost annoyed seeing Taeyong’s face everywhere. To be honest Jaehyun was not pleased about Taeyong and they’re both giving each other hard glances the whole dinner time. Jaehyun smells trouble all over Taeyong but he can’t say that to you because you never listen to him.

“So Jae, what brings you here?” you asked him finally fixing him a plate of pasta. “Well, you dont visit nowadays? Is there something wrong?” Jaehyun answered with a concerned tone, little did he know you’re far from being sad because Taeyong makes you happy.

“Well maybe if you watch her perform you would know that she’s busy doing what she loves” Taeyong answered for you, not removing his eyes on Jaehyun.

“Y/n,” he points at Taeyong across the table, “another hookup? you never learn” that hurt, you thought. But you cant be mad to Jaehyun, you’re sure he didn’t mean it. Taeyong on the other hand is just looking at you as if he’s waiting for you to defend him from Jaehyun.

To be honest you don’t know Taeyong’s role in your life but one thing is for sure, he’s the one who makes you happy every single day, he changed your life. On second thought, yeah Taeyong what are we? You turned to Jaehyun and gave him a cold look, “Jaehyun, be nice.”

Jaehyun drinks his glass of wine in one chug and stands up from where he’s seated, leans on the table both of his arms supporting him and looks at Taeyong. “A lot of assholes already left in that door and I know them all. They never stayed because they’re too dumb to know y/n’s worth.” he walks towards your door and collects his jacket ready to leave.

“Oh btw. If she says no fucking tonight. She means it. That shit really hurts her down there. Hope you don’t fuck her then let her dance the next day” and Jaehyun slams the door.

That hurt Taeyong the most because he didn’t know. He didn’t know because you never told him and it made you guilty. Clearly Jaehyun knew you too well to know those kinds of stuff about you, Taeyong thought. His mind wonders about your relationship with Jaehyun but he sees you upset already.

You cleared the table and stayed silent the whole night. You didn’t know how to face Taeyong or where to start to explaining. You were scared that Taeyong might be angry with you and that he will leave tomorrow morning angry. That will hurt your feelings more than anything and you will never forgive Jaehyun if that happens. But just like Jaehyun, Taeyong knows what you feel in his own way. And now he knows you’re hurt, he hugged you from behind while you dry the plates and stayed there for a while.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t  know” Taeyong whispered. It melts your heart because he didn’t do anything wrong and you cant explain it to him because you’re ashamed.

“Baby, I dont know what to say right now. It hurts, yes. But that shit is normal. Every other girl who gets a good fuck knows that” you explained almost looking like you’re angry but you’re not.

“Just please…From now on, you will tell me okay?” he used it again. That tone that will make you follow him whatever it is that he’s telling you to do. It’s that tone that makes you follow him without arguing further. Then everything is okay again. Jaehyun is stupid, you thought.

You feel the familiar soft kisses on your nape, slowly going down to the sides of your neck and it feels so good you can feel all the tension leave your body the moment Taeyong kisses you softly. You turned around and encircled your arms around his neck giving sweet kisses that he deserves.

“I’m sorry about Jaehyun” you said in between kissing him, “I know I have a lot of explaining to do” you add. He slips hand inside your shirt and draw small circles behind your back. “Explain later. For now, let’s enjoy the time we have, please. He already took a lot of my time with you” Taeyong walks you to your bedroom, kissing you nonstop whispering your praises.

It was raining outside, thunders here and there but you know Taeyong will keep you warm for the night, he always does. He will leave after breakfast tomorrow and you dont want to waste even a second with him.

Already both naked and ready for a good fuck, you can feel that he’s already hesitating on having sex with you because of what Jaehyun told him earlier. Trying to get him naked, you initiate and made the first move telling him, “baby, its okay. Fuck me good like you normally do” you tell him in between wet kisses.

You kiss him deeply letting him know that it’s okay to touch you. Guiding his hands all over your body where he feels good, he whispers sweet things to you saying that you’re in good hands and that he’s not going to leave like the other jerks. That familiar heat creeps in your body already, the heat only Taeyong could provide.

It was a slow start but you make sure that tonight everything is okay. He was standing beside your bed and you’re sitting on the edge, spreading your legs wide for him and kissing him hungrily. You reached for his hand, kissed it and sucked two fingers and made him finger you while you sit on the edge of the bed. You grind slowly on his fingers, you almost looked filthy in your own eyes but Taeyong deserves this. Putting yourself on edge in front of him while looking him in the eye, you make sweet moans that turns him on.

In his eyes, you look so beautiful and hot with parted lips and grinding in front of him while his fingers fucks you. That was enough head start to make him hard and to drive him crazy. “It wont hurt me baby” you told him while pulling him to bed and make him hover you feeling his soft flawless skin.

And so he did. He kissed the insides of your thighs wetting it with his spit. Intertwining his hands to with yours so you could grip it whenever you feel good. Lining his cock in your pussy, teasing you enough to make you shudder beneath him. You asked him again to fuck you hard like he usually do, telling him again and again thats its okay. You smile while you moan and moan while he tease your pussy, looking at him directly in his eyes because he’s so handsome.

“Baby stop doing that. I’ll cum. You’re driving me crazy.” He whispers in your ear and that made you both chuckle. He grips your boobs making you gasps, pinching your sensitive nipples. Soon the small laugh you both let out turned in to groans and long moans. He enters you slowly, feeling your walls and savouring it. Pulling his cock back and smirked in front of you. Seeing you how fucked up you are right now makes him hard even more.

He did it again, and again to make you crazy. Taeyong’s cock was not inside you fully he’s doing it on purpose. “Not yet.” He’s always like that you thought, he’s saving the deep thrust for later.

“Can you wait a little more?” he whispers beside you again making you frustrated already. But he pushes inside without telling you, slow and deep. You let out a louder moan than earlier. “Tae... what the fuck” is all you can say on how good he feels right now. He let out a small laugh starting to fuck you already, no more playing games. You peeked down there and you saw how Taeyong’s cock enters you slowly, his big cock goes inside you smoothly. “Can’t believe that can fit inside me Tae” you managed to tell him with short breaths and you closed your eyes trying to feel and savour the feeling, you hear him pant.

A loud smack echoed in the room, you opened your eyes and sharply moaned when his hand slaps your ass. He did it several times, making you wetter than ever his thrusts going smoother because of your juices. He turned you on your side and lifted your right leg, the new positions makes you dizzy in a good way. Soft kisses planted on your lifted leg but his cock demands attention, “fuck Tae! Hmm - baby, you found my spot!” You cum when he looks at you in the eye full of love and lust at the same time. You’re lost in his eyes.

After your first orgasm, he pulls out and kissed you as if he’s saying, ‘take a rest’ but instead he said “First of many for tonight babe” while catching his breath. Kissing you deeply, cock still inside, that means he’s prepping you for another round. “Can I fuck you from behind?” He asked so sweetly, you can only nod feeling tired and sleepy.

Fucking from behind is your favorite position, it feels good but it’s intimate and wild at the same time. As he fucks you from behind you, Taeyong gave you multiple orgasms already, your legs are wide open for a better angle and he fucks you deeper than earlier. He fucks so good while whispering sweet things behind you, it helps you cum so fast you lost count how many orgasms you have already.

He’s cupping your breast and playing with your hard nipples and pushing a finger in on your clit and just let him do whatever he wants to you while you come down from your previous orgasm. Spreading your legs wide for him, waiting for you to come down from your high, he licks your dripping cunt from behind, slowly like eating ice cream. You shiver, you feel your legs being weak. He felt that you’re already tired but he wants to do something you will never forget even when you wake up in the morning.

Still high from the last orgasm, nerves still sensitive from overstimulation. He lays you flat on the mattress again giving you wet kisses on your chest and grinds on your pussy occasionally, not fully putting his cock inside. As usual.

“Baby I can feel that you’re tired already” he whispers in your ear nibbling your earlobe. You feel his cock poke your pussy and it surprises you how he’s hard again. He teases your entrance while devouring your neck, still so wet and you feel him making a move again as he spreads your legs preparing you for another round but you’re really tired you cant even talk. You pant and you almost push Taeyong away as a sign that you cant take it anymore, that it’s already too much but he has other plans.

He has a smirk on his face and you can see that he’s tired too but hes pushing. Knowing that you can’t talk, he made you a deal while he fingers your pussy slowly, letting out a whine as he makes you listen to him. For every question that will be left un answered he will continue fucking you senseless and hard. But if you gather your strength and answer his questions immediately, he will slow down and will stop fucking you.

“Ready? Don’t disappoint me now. We’ve come so far” He fingers you while watching you so fucked up beneath him, legs spreading wide waiting for his question.

He’s enjoying this.

Taeyong stopped fingering you and grabbed his cock, the tip of his cock is ready to enter you and he grinds softly so you both dont have rest from the sensation that hes giving.

“What do you want......-“ he slams in you groaning how good feel around his cock again, giving you hard thrusts already. “ for breakfast?” he continues the question.

You really cant compose your sentence because of the way he’s fucking you hard, your breasts are bouncing up and down because of his quick thrusts. You cant even think of a meal for breakfast but you force yourself to answer, “ eggs...oh fuck-“ hes not satisfied, “with bacon and - Taeyong!” You pant and let out heavy breaths, you cant hardly finish your sentence.

“You want me for breakfast?” He chuckled and fucks you hard still.

“Eggs...!” You pant, “ bacon... avo...cado, bread! AAH!” You moan hard and tried to grasp anything form the bed.

“Good” he responds, reducing the way he fucks you for the mean time but still not stopping. “Last question.” He said while he thumbs your clit too. Leaning towards you and kissing you hard, wet kisses on your neck.

“Will you be my girlfriend? Be mine?” he asked, you can hear his pants and deep moans letting you know he’s almost there. Even though he’s fucking you and the both of you are already tired and worked up, you still see how he patiently waits for your answer. Hoping you would say yes.

And with that question, he instantly fucks you slow and good. As if turning everything whats happening into love making in just a second. You were really surprised with how good he fucks you right now and knowing the situation, it put you in tears.

You were crying already, letting out sweet moans, you just want to cum. But the question. Oh the question. You want to say yes but you’re reaching your edge and in any second you will reach your climax for nth time tonight.

Forcing yourself to let out an airy “yes” that he didn’t catch, he’s not stopping and it makes you even crazy. Why aren’t you stopping.

“Baby?” He leans in on you giving you soft kisses while he thrust slow and deep, holding and intertwining both of your hands above your head feeling the fluffy pillows.

“Be with me forever?” He asked again.

“Yes!” You answered almost a scream, letting out a loud moan. You both reached your high and he stopped thrusting immediately, his cock still inside you. Showering you kisses all over your face because of happiness. Taeyong gathered his strength and pulled out. Cleaning every inch of your body, careful not to make you shiver with his touch. Chanting his apologies for being rough. You didn’t want him to say sorry because you were happy for everything he made you feel tonight.

“I love you” you reached for his face, “Lee Taeyong”

Both of you cant sleep even though you’re both tired. You made coffee and finally talked about what happened earlier during dinner, you offered a massage because you can feel that he’s exhausted. Stealing kisses on his soft skin when you can.  

“So... Jaehyun “ Taeyong looks to you while sipping his hot coffee kissing your hands on his shoulders. “Oh right well, one thing is for sure he’s not a threat or anything. He’s just overprotective because we had a history” you explained while continuing to massage him.

“Uh huh. And what kind of history is that?” He comes closer to you, making you stop from what you were doing.

You explained that Jaehyun is family, his family is close to your family for as long as you could remember. And that one day he decided to fall in love you but you dont feel the same way. His mother and your mother likes the idea of the two of you being together, so they kind of forced you and Jaehyun to have a relationship. Your mother suggested to give Jaehyun a chance because he’s a nice guy and he’s a perfect husband material. You agreed but you really dont have feelings for him and that you see Jaehyun as a brother. As you move in for college, Jaehyun volunteered to take care of you while you’re away from home. He took care of you most of the time so you decided to give it a shot. You were a senior by the time you and Jaehyun had sex for the first time. He was your first.

“So thats why he knows how your body works! That-“ you cut him off with a kiss before he even finish his sentence.

“We were young and crazy that time please understand. And you know how senior year stresses your life out.”

No I never went to college, Im a King. Taeyong thought. But he just shook his head and let out a loud sigh.

“We only have each other by that time, I help him study he takes care of me. We went out for some time. But it never worked out between us because I really don’t feel anything for him” you kissed Taeyong and snuggled beside him, “and that was a long time ago Taeyong....He’s married now” you let out a small laugh and looked at him, his face completely in shock. “He’s just protective because I’ve been with guys that aren’t nice enough to stay for breakfast.”

Taeyong feels sorry what he did earlier. If he only knew… but he still wanted to punch Jaehyun in the face for making him feel like shit in front of you earlier.

“What time are you going to leave? The sun is almost out now.” You asked, playing with the softness of his hands. “In an hour” you hummed acknowledging him and just looking at the sky through the window. “I know a place where we can see beautiful sunrise while holding each other like this. One day I’ll bring you there.” Taeyong softly whispers behind you.

Taeyong left for his business trip and you feel lonelier than ever but you thought it’s fine, he will come back. And that it’s for you to stop thinking that one day he will leave you.  He told you to go to his office every time you feel lonely and Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny can keep you company. It pains you to see Taeyong leave.

You cary on with your life, did daily routine without Taeyong and you miss him more everyday.

2 weeks

Still no Taeyong.

Someone rang the doorbell, you only hope it was Taeyong but it’s just amazon.

1 month

It’s been a month since he left, you already cannot believe this was happening. You check if meeting Taeyong was only a dream but no, he’s 100% real. Happy pictures of you and him are scattered around your apartment and his things are nicely placed. Where are you?

Christmas season

It’s Christmas eve and you went home to your family. Hoping to spend Christmas with Taeyong was too much you thought. Your plan on introducing Taeyong to your parents is cancelled and it pains you more because he’s been a really big part of your life already.

You and Jaehyun had wine and enjoyed Christmas eve with your family and his family. Seeing Jaehyun and Jinsoul happily married makes your heart at ease for you know that Jaehyun is in good hands and that love is real, and someday you’ll find yours. Being home makes you happy and alive, you just cant be alone and spend Christmas in your apartment full off good memories with Taeyong.

“Im surprised you didn’t bring him” Jaehyun broke the silence. “He has a business trip” is all you can say because thats all you know. He sincerely apologised about what happened last time and you said that it was fine, you got hurt but you told him you know he’s just being protective. “Damn right I am.” He said while laughing, he told you that they’ve been trying to have a baby and for some reason, Jinsoul just cant get pregnant. “Jae... Im happy for you!” You clap your hands and told him to just hang in there and just try and try.

“Merry Christmas y/n” and you greeted him back.

Taeyong. Come back please. You let out a whisper while looking at the snow outside, wondering where Taeyong is now.

He missed Christmas, New years, your birthday, and Valentines. You thought, enough is enough and that you waited long enough for him. “business trip my ass” you said while putting everything that reminds you of him in a box. You fixed your apartment and you asked Jaehyun to redecorate it with you.

“Im sorry I asked you to redecorate my apartment on your birthday” you apologised while you push the cart around, looking for stuff you need for your apartment. “Its okay! Im not doing anything today. Me and Jinsoul celebrate in advance don’t worry. My wife is busy at work so we cant celebrate today.” You feel sorry for Jaehyun but you told him at least he has you and he can celebrate with you instead.

Sage green walls, new couch, pictures of you and your friends... you love the new look of your apartment all thanks to Jaehyun for the help.

You baked a cake for him and he was really happy about it. “Just like the old times” he said and he ate a big piece and starts moaning telling you how good the cake is. “I think you should start your own bakery” Jaehyun suggests. Its not a bad idea, now that you’re resting from dance, its not so bad to start baking again. “Yeah I think, I will” you said to Jaehyun.

“Hows everything with the baby.... making?” You asked Jaehyun awkwardly while eating a spoonful of cake.

“Still not good. I’m starting to worry actually, but she had a check up... actually we both did, and the doctor said there’s nothing wrong us. Its just maybe, due to the stress?” Jaehyun let out a sigh getting more cake.

He went home pretty late after finishing three bottles of wine with you, leaving you and your new apartment all alone. It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore you thought, or maybe it’s because of the alcohol. But whatever the reason is, you’re ready to move forward and just forget about Taeyong.

Months passed by, you focus on doing what you love, baking. You took extra baking classes to feed your soul and passion more, and you take big risks to make your dream of having a small bakery come true. When you’re not baking or not learning, you make sure to spend time with your family and friends. No more hook ups. Not because you’re still waiting on Taeyong, but because you’re tired of having temporary relationships that wastes your time. Good thing your cakes are selling pretty good and you have baking to make you happy.

Life is finally better. You learned that self love comes first always and the rest will follow. Being alone made you happy in life more.

Until one day you were taking a rest while you’re waiting for your cupcakes to cool down, the doorbell rang expecting it to be Jaehyun.

Without looking through the peephole, you opened the door with a smile hoping to see your best friend’s beautiful dimples. But all you can see is flowers, an arrangement of beautiful flowers almost as big as the man carrying it.

Wrong flower delivery you guessed. He puts down the flowers and it was someone you know. And it was not Jaehyun.

“Y/n...”

You closed the door with a loud bang not wanting to believe who just appeared in your doorstep. Suddenly all the happy memories came back, rushing in your brain all at once, remembering how you’ve been so hurt while waiting for him to come back.

Taeyong knocks again not saying anything. You didn’t have a choice and you let Taeyong inside your apartment. Gathering all your strength to say that you want to end this relationship or whatever it is that you both have, you just want to live peacefully. --------------------------- It just so happens that Taeyong is away in real life for now. huhuhu 

[floorbed]

i sent these to puck also but. 17 33 53 67 78 for both stupids

>:) Time For Idiots. again i kinda went off hard so this shit under a read more

17. Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?

pen’s best friend growing up from when he was Baybey till he left the palace was mikolai! they were best friends kind of because like. they were rlly close in age and were both born in the palace and were both Boys Who Needed A Buddy Bc They Were Stuck In This Like Very Formal Place All The Time And Wanted To Be Silly Kids. so kind of best buddies by necessity. he was the graf’s son. he was the court jester’s son. can i make it any more obvious etc etc. he was also very much one of those kids who was like My Mom Is My Best Friend <3 also

but now that he’s out of the palace the party r very much his best friends. like. They’ve Seen Him Die. hes fucked up over and over again and they still accept him n believe in him, and hes not used to things being that like... unconditional, u know. if he had to pick one person in arsonparty it Wld be miss telltale but like. he kind of views her as like That One Really Cool Older Sibling Who Can Do No Wrong Who U Look Up To rather than like friend vibes? and at first that manifested for him like. oh i feel protected by her. but now its like . Oh i feel protected by her but Also i want her to understand her self worth and see herself the way i see her bc like i would like her to feel comfortable enough to allow herself to also get taken care of and protected.... but yeah

agni is ! hm! pre brain damage school agni was too busy to form any like. meaningful connections w anyone. that shit was hard as it was on its own and it also just like. Wasnt Top Priority so she didnt put a lot of effort into it bc she was 2 busy stressing over academics. Her Roommate Was Cool but also she felt a little intimidated by her. 

crimesagni has uhhh friendly work acquaintances that she , again, didnt let herself put a lot of stake in but still genuinely enjoyed their presence! But I Mean Like. Seras. Yeah. seras is definitely The Exception Of That. #JustBestFriendThings!! its cool how friendly the.y are . also like. the party is the first time agni’s had a Friend Group before and like people who want to hang out w her..... she rlly enjoys it! turns out things r much more linear n lucid when u have outside ppl as frames of reference. also they are all very kind to her which makes her real happy, n seem to genuinely care abt her wellbeing, and dont mind all of the shit she’s gotten them into w her Work Stuff. 

33. Did they ever dye their hair before? If so, to what colour? Did they like it?

pen hasnt but if he Could he’d dye his hair black >:) little goth boy

agni also hasnt, and i dont think she would care to that much even if given the opportunity! if someone wanted to like, practice on her hair tho, she’d offer it!

53. What is something that they want but can’t have?

pen . lol. he wants the period of his life back before everything went to shit, when he was likeeee 17. he just kinda wants to exist in that little time bubble forever.

agni i think deep down would like to go back before she self-sabotaged her life and was still on track to being a respectable member of society w a good career, just for a little bit n not permanently, to compare her quality of life then w her quality of life now and see if it was worth it.

67. What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?

pen: when his mom wld dance with him!!! playing hide and seek w mikolai during high mourning when he was a kid!! juniper’s little “ehhhh” moments!! when anybody (but esp ori and juni) laugh at his silly jests >:) going to dinner parties and knowing essactly what to do >:) when his friends let him take care of them, like when juni let him brush his hair!!! 

agni: lavinia reading over her good marks and telling her how proud she is!! edda walking her to the temple when she was really little after dressing her up real pretty and holding her hand the whole time!! the way seras says her full name!! when dendy sings his little songs!!! Amadeus Antics. the fact that cyrus asked for her n elviras help w his home stuff and he thinks shes like. competent enough to be of help!

78. If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?

at home, pen would run to his mom 100%, and just kinda cry for a little bit, and then probably have a sleepover in her room.

w the party, pen would go to ori oops! he wouldnt want to wake her up like, physically, bc he wouldnt want to catch her off guard and have her Burst Into Flames, but probably hover in her doorway and tell her what happened. and ask if he should try to go back to sleep or not, or what he shld do.

now that ori has Unbalanced Humors tho, pen probably would not want to bother her bedrest, so he’d go to juni, jangle on up to his bed and be all stubborn n not leave him alone bc he’d be too scared to try n go back to sleep on his own!! Lots Of Lamenting

back in zadash if agni Could, she wld go to seras (IM SORRY SHES LIKE THIS SHES JUST A CRINGEFAIL WITH ONE (1) FRIEND)... ask if she cld lay on hands her so she cld rule out Brain Chemical Stuff being the culprit, but even if that wasnt the case Ask 2 Be Held. A Little Bit. she usually gets reallyy overstimulated with physical contact and it is Bad but with her It Is Just Good And Nice. yknow.

w the party, agni would probably try to deal w it herself, first and foremost. if she cldnt, she’d either go to cyrus bc he’s very nice to her and ask if she can look at some of his art stuff to calm down, or theo bc she has a very calming voice and is rlly good at thinking things through logically which comforts her, or adaeze bc Mayhaps She Has A Nice Mango Snack Like Last Time Again!!

[sagittariusboyfriend]

im gonna do a "how i see the signs" as well!!

traditionally masculine aries: a force of creativity. oftentimes politically correct. very friendly and easy to talk to, but will shift in temper and energy depending on whether or not he is in focus. musically inclined.

traditionally feminine aries: also a force of creativity. a kind of jittery energy that cant really be contained. might go up and down in volume a lot depending on social context but is always bursting to have a conversation. very awake and with fire in her eyes. openminded and wouldnt hurt a fly. artistically inclined.

trad. masc taurus: ugh horrible. forcefully straight forward, blunt in an unsensitive way, not that good at picking up on social cues because he is convinced of his reality. might be pompous and pretentious, even bitter. the flip side of venusian traits - pretty uncharming. snarky. way better at group/professional relationships than personal relationships. assertive in the workplace and is doing his job better than anyone else could.

trad. fem taurus: intelligent and an intellectual. sensual, assertive, has such a presence that people are in awe most of the time. might be pretentious but its actually genuine and doesnt come off as a negative trait. powerful.

trad. masc gemini: ahh gemini. witty, quick, reactive. genuine, but in short bursts. his intuition is based upon HOW he feels at any given moment, however he has no clue WHAT he feels. scared of emotions. might have a tendency to gaslight. obviously prone to communication and loves learning from history, but has a hard time seeing the bigger picture over the details. small things make or break him... for a week or so. then its forgotten, until something stirs it up 6 months later, and his emotions are all over the place; its like they get tossed up in the air and love might stick to the ceiling and pride to the wall and fear to that person over there and he has no idea where to start to assemble. charmingly childish, prone to grumpyness. social artisan regardless of controversial values or not. needs constant intellectual stimuli.

trad. fem gemini: does not need romantic relationships to feel like a complete person! prefers friendships over love relationships, and can usually pick and choose between lovers if on a romantic whim. not always even interested in shacking up with anyone, makes a happy independent single household. that "fun" friend. self-confident, quick, witty, might have a sharp tongue. absolutely excels in social situations and knows everyone in one way or another, and everyone knows of her in one way or another. prone to ghosting people for weeks because she simply forgets to respond. loses focus easily. probably works in sales. might come across as not so complex to other people.

trad. masc cancer: sweet, charming in a wholesome way. in tune with himself. intuitive and embraces and encourages talking about feelings. oftentimes very politically correct. might live somewhat of a fake life in the sense that he IS a family man, but cant help himself from wanting dirty, promiscuous sex for many hours with many random people. giving and generous - in every sense. probably does a lot of philantrophy or volonteers.

trad. fem cancer: reserved. exudes feminine energy, almost to a point that she is not comfortable with herself. very very sweet, just wants everyone to be okay. will disappear and reappear in social circles and no one will know where she has been, but theres an air of mystery to it and no one dares to ask. might be some kind of red preistess lol.

trad. masc leo: loyal, as long as he doesnt feel in the slightest that he has been made a fool of. very strong integrity, but an integrity that is based on image. easily approached, the nicest person in the room and will include and respect everyone. generous and genuinely loves anyone who does not come off as harmful, and will give you his last money if he feels you need it more. works hard to feel safe. creative in what he thinks is a funky way, but its actually pretty mainstream.

trad. fem leo: also honest, hard-working and loyal. integrity is also important. creative in traditionally artistic ways, like photography or drawing. has a natural authority but is the sweetest person and will NOT abuse it. very passionate about peoples equal value, doesnt really have a flare for drama at all, just wants to be stimulated. when she loves she loves with every fiber of her being and being affirmed by her partner is imperative to self-worth.

trad. masc virgo: retains information like a motherfucker! man, what a chattery bloke. an earth sign ruled by mercury makes the most, i think, well-rounded PR personality. gemini can frick off when it comes to arguments because trad. masc virgo WILL shut you down. he serves facts and will probably be a tad manipulative about it, but will also admit to it. doesnt really wait to run you over or quip back, and then just stares at you blankly as if he is waiting for a response. witty and warm like a sun to his closest, will make jabs and is cold like granite to people he doesnt like. might however have some ego issues.

trad. fem virgo: pretty much exactly like trad. masc virgo, only retains a certain jovial energy and a strong sense of nurturing and dicipline. very funny! authoritarian.

trad. masc libra: might come across as very calm and even meek at times. everyone likes him, no one dislikes him, but he isnt a big personality. nice and sweet and always positive. comfortable in the background as the glue that keeps groups together. not very verbally communicative, but ingenious when he channels his communication through music or art. wants to be appreciated and very much is. pretty private, but everyones friend.

trad. fem libra: full of the good venusian traits. loves love, loves good food, loves yoga, loves pampering herself and others. the best hostess you have ever met. has a hard time deciding on things and will make herself suffer through qualms and trials for days for something that, for anyone else, could have been decided within a couple of minutes. somewhat of a perfectionist. spiritual. gets along with everyone. very into female impowerment.

trad. masc scorpio: kind of rude, but smart. he doesnt know where it comes from, but his subconscious intuition oftentimes leads him to hidden truths, whether they are pleasant or not. might be the jealous type. can just trust his gut and will know exactly what is going on behind closed doors. intelligent in a very abstract way. might come across as always ready to strike just in case someone thinks they are better than him in any way.

trad. fem scorpio: does not show emotion easily. is very intelligent and knows how to lead a conversation where she wants it. inquisitive, literally opens her entire mind for you when you sit down one-on-one. not for anyone to enter, but for her to use ON you, and will analyze your behaviors to the core and dig around in there. make you see things from perspectives youve never even thought about. this could be used for bad, but usually its used for your own good because insight and truth, darkness into light is what she is after. intense. low key passionate. a great person to brainstorm with. excudes sultryness, but almost like a perfume, an illusion, mostly because people become so mesmerized with her psychological skill that they immediately figure she is coming on to them. powerful socially. doesnt want nor need drama, the quest for truth just gets ruthless sometimes. loyal if you dont mess with her integrity. unlike leo, her integrity is based on conscious and subconscious intuition. not into practical things in general. does not care for high morals.

trad. masc sagittarius: good at everything on the first try but gets bored easily, even depressed when forced into routine. diplomacy is important, so is personal freedom. a charismatic positive personality that shines bright and has an almost gravitational pull because of it. wants to be valued for his brain and generosity of free, non-traditional love and insight. learning is everything. the bigger picture is everything; abstract concepts that you can translate and cross-reference to different doctrines and schools and philosophies. on an eternal quest for knowledge in all situations, be it emotional or practical. "why do things work like this?" he asks and is genuinely excited to hear your and everyone elses reasoning. his goal in life is to get to know himself through others and to find firey partners to come along for the ride and share the fun. loathes drama, wants everyone to be accepting. optimistic. might be the guy many fall in love with but who is completely oblivious to it because he has his mind set on other things.

trad. fem sagittarius: very much like trad. masc sagittarius. also fierce, takes no shit, the life of the party, everyones instant friend and a BIG personality. equality is very important!

trad. masc capricorn: attractive, cold, sexual. on the grind, because everything works against him either way so he might as well work hard and overcome. dry humor and a smug smile, vicious eyes. but tender and fragile once you get to know him. so used to being the underdog in his own head that he hasnt realized everyone sees him as the leader. doesnt realize people follow him. doesnt care. is just and stern. is not afraid of delivering harsh truths, can shut you down with a look.

trad. fem capricorn: leads with silence. not because of shyness at all, its just a demeanor that comes naturally. although may have been shy when young, simply because of society. exudes power, unknowingly or knowlingly. intimidating and stylish as fuck. eloquent. uniformity is a keyword for everything. has learnt the hard way. hilarious dark humor. prefers respect to spectacle. is a force to be reckoned with and gains pretty much everyones respect.

trad. masc aquarius: might have a hard time deciding about personal freedom, what is and what isnt. contemplative, insightful, the least traditional of traditional men. high EQ, might prefer polyamorous relationships, almost lacks jealousy. tall and slender. very much capable of seeing through all points of view and will speak rationally. rarely gets heated in discussion because he just doesnt see the point in being reactive.

trad. fem aquarius: a higher being. high octave intuition; the person with the highest EQ youve ever met in your life. new insights with every breath. does NOT care for tradition, usually only indulges in the bare minimum of tradition to move about unnoticed in society as the penultimate alien being they are. she has an entirely different kind of mind that seems so complex and effortless at the same time, and her knowledge and ingenuity could change the world - if it was only ready for it. finds solutions to everything. altruistic. optimistic. so wise and so rebelliously young at the same time. manages to care for everyone and everything all the time. truly wondrous.

trad. masc pisces: an academic. a sensitive guy. highly philosophical, in its scholastic form. makes a good teacher of abstract concepts. always searching within himself first before speaking. interested in history and the human mind. constantly battles with feelings of not being good enough but always comes out as more and better than expected. probably very introvert.

trad. fem pisces: witchy. dreamy. some kind of seer. needs quite some time to process emotional impacts. has a tendency to mimick peoples traits and quirks without knowing it. very emotional, highly sensitive. very impressionable. open to and thirsty for new ways to make sense of all these emotional impacts, but might change ideologies and/or trim her sails to the current wind. conflicting subconscious emotional forces at play all the time which leads to a lot of self-doubt. not necessarily introvert, but introspective.

[cutegirlmayra]

Hey hey HEY! Mayra (can i call you like that?) have you imagine , how would Amy ask sonic for a date after sonic forces, i mean she would, rigth? And how about tails, would he have nightmares after it? I know the idws are coming, but can you just imagine it? Also i dont know if your promts are shunt down, but i think they are... Ideas? Well, ok, just imagine it.

I’m gonna imagine this… as a plot in a prompt, lol.

Booboo, you can callme whatever. Mayra, Mikaykay… (

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUT DOWN! Please, for the love of all that iswonderful and decent in this world, don’t send me anymore until I reopen them!

You can tell this one is old because IDW hadn’t come out yet, youcan SEE that I have a backload to deal with, but I love all of your amazingideas so much! Please keep them safely in a word doc or stored away until I canget all of these done and reopen the prompts again! :Db

(The preview image is from @lonelysadblob, please support her!)

Prompt—���—-

There was a murky haze of a deep, sun-soaked red that blew across like thick clouds with the howling wind. The desolate city, still ruined from Eggman’s rampage was now still and ghostly.

The restoration efforts were in full-swing now. It wasn’t a bad idea. Just pick up and repurpose some old stuff. No big deal.

However…

Sonic leaned over a steel railing that had been, at one point, painted white until the incident. Now the paint peeled just by his gloves skimming across it to hoist his chest’s weight as he leaned leisurely over the safety walk and peered out over the city that used to be bursting with busy life and vegetation.

The park was nearly a Serengeti at this point. Tall, dry grass had grown up from the cracks in the streets and spread out like someone’s bad hair day over the landscape. With the fires out, only soot remained, but it seemed to be helping the natural wildlife.

Even animals, as dismal as they appeared to be, were willingly working hard to restore what they could and salvage a new life together.

Sonic couldn’t frown now. He wouldn’t let himself.

It was kinda beautiful, in a weird sense of the word. Seeing the world push back against destruction and its people hold their heads high so soon after it’s destructor’s mess.

He shook his head and sighed, “Why are we always cleaning up this adult-child’s mess?” He mused, though he only spoke like this to himself.

It was hard not to take some things seriously, but Sonic tried not to let the mood affect him so much.

“Sadly, it seems to be the most anyone can do around here. Just cleaning up an old geezer’s trash bin and recycle it.”

Sonic was surprised to hear someone had heard his light ramblings, so he turned to the familiar voice with a look of curiosity.

“How long have you been there?”

She happily walked up to the railing, closing her eyes and leaning back on it, “Not long.” she seemed pretty chill, a lot had happened, and that usual cheeriness in her now seemed rather tame.

The bending of metal creaked at her pressure, just tugging on it lightly, but Sonic pushed back and made sure to equal out the payload. “It’s been a while.” he smiled a little brighter now, making up for her lack of usual spunk.

Then he smirked, “Missed me much?”

“We all did.” She gave him a sly look, “Especially Tails… he and I have been nightmares for a while now.”

Just behind a building in the back, Tails was asking some soldiers where Sonic could be.

After being told Amy asked too and they directed her to the railing just behind the collapsed skyscraper, they then asked him why.

“O-oh? Amy’s looking for him? Oh! No big reason! I just miss him is all.” Tails shook out his hands and then awkwardly scratched the back of his head. He had wanted some time with his best friend after little Sonic had left, he felt he needed some things cleared up…

Was Sonic mad at him? He didn’t look mad before. He looked happy, but Sonic usually looks happy. He worried Sonic may hold some feelings against him, considering he was powerless to stop Infinite and the other mock villains from pummeling him before.

He wearily approached the corner, his tails growing stiff and his arms shivering by his sides.

His eyes stung from last night’s tears. A cloud of regret and guilt had returned after he thought he had mourned for the last time when Sonic had come back, practically from everyone thinking he might have died until discovering he was trapped by Eggman… miles and miles away from the planet.

When he peeked around the corner, Sonic was chuckling.

“Nightmares? That sounds awful.”

“You’re laughing? That’s rude.” Amy puffed up her cheek, “We were all worried about you, ya know.” She turned her head a bit away but her eyes never left his.

He winked to her, “Haven’t ever had nightmares.”

Her face exploded with shock, “What?! Never? How is that even possible?”

He laughed again, shaking his head. “I just never have. Don’t give me wrong, I dream sometimes. But the worst thing I’ve ever dreamed was just something completely random and weird. Anyway, I’m sorry to have made you all worry, Amy. I tried to come back here as soon as I could.” he felt some of the contaminated wind flare-up in his nose and itched it. “The wind here sucks.” He huffed, feeling it dry up his throat as he breathed it in.

He rubbed just below his chin where his neck was, looking down. “I kinda owe you all one.”

“Your voice is a little raspy. Do you need some water?” Her face turned to concern again, bending a little to try and see his face better.

“Heh. I could really go for a chilidog right now!” He stood straighter and happier, which made Amy instantly comforted.

“Ohhh, you. I figured you might say something like that.” She removed her hands from the railing, dusting them off from the peeling paint left on them and placed them behind her back, rocking on her heels. “You know~ We could go for a walk out of this smoke’s path and find some grub down by the rest station. If you want too… we could talk a bit more there!” She leaped to securely wrap her arm around his own.

He was fumbling a moment, but not a lot. He looked at the warmth the gesture instantly gave him and found something in his heart trigger again.

“You know what?” He weakly gave her a cheesy, awkward smile with a typical bead of sweat trinkling down the side of his face. “I’ve almost forgotten how it felt like.”

“What felt like?” Amy blinked, tilting her head, still trying to be a bit flirty.

“You, the outside world… I still can’t fully remember, but I haven’t completely forgotten how it felt.” He crooked his arm into a true gentlemen’s hold for her to walk beside, and began making his way towards the corner Tails was peeking out from. “It’s almost like one of those weird dreams… But I’m glad I’m awake.”

His words stung Tails. ‘If it weren’t for me, Sonic wouldn’t be saying such sad things…’ he looked down at the dirt before quickly fleeing, spinning his tails as fast as he could before they leisurely made their way around the corner.

He could still hear them though… and that pained him.

“You mentioned Tails wasn’t feeling well either?”

“Oh, yeah. Well… He and I really took it pretty hard. Knuckles did too, but you know him, he was trying his best to get what needed to be done… done.” Her ears bent slightly.

Tails narrowed his eyes, ‘You don’t know how I’m feeling. It’s completely different. You’re not one to blame!’ his fists tightened, trying to fly faster so he could round the next corner before they reached it too. Street after street, just trying to remain at a constant, undetected distance.

Sonic would grow tried of walking soon, he’d offer to scoop Amy up, Tails couldn’t beat his speed but he could try and out-think it.

“Poor little buddy…” Sonic looked up at the sky, just lost in a moment of thought and empathy.

“H-hey…” Amy blushed a little, looking down and tugging on the end of her dress a little bit. “I wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine either, you know…” she felt his gaze shift back to her and continued, “I… Well, I couldn’t deny what I feeling. I just hoped that with enough faith, you were still with us. That you had somehow managed to escape and were secretly helping us from the shadows… somewhere… completely safe and unharmed. Well-fed. Happy…” she stopped walking a moment, her eyes glittering with a newfound wetness in the dry atmosphere.

He stopped too, smiling to her. “You okay?” He asked, tilting his head as she had done for him when she couldn’t see his expression.

“…Em.” she nodded, turning cheerily back to him. “Let’s go on a date!”

His eyes opened wide. “A date? Here?”

“Sure! I’m happy wherever you are, Sonic~” she cooed, scooting closer to him as he scratched his cheek with his finger, not sure how to respond to that.

“Aww… Gee, Amy, I-”

“No buts!” she pulled him towards her and took her arm around his and placed it up along his shoulders, pointing to their destination. “I think there may be ice cream this time!” the hub looked pretty far away… “Let’s ditch the refreshments! Those are for the civilians anyway. We should head home and take a breather.”

Her eyes beamed up at him, as Tails, unable to fully pull himself away, stood on top of a half-caved in building’s still-standing top structure and gripped the edges of the stone against his twitching fingers.

“That lousy… She should know better than to hog him to herself!” he slightly steamed out, “But… what if Sonic really doesn’t want to see me? She told him I had nightmares already… may I should just wait my turn.” He felt his confidence and self-worth slipping, failing himself as he slowly let his hands relax and slide off the edge of the already half-tumbled-over wall.

He slipped away as Sonic shrugged and scooped Amy up, just as he had predicted moments ago…

“Then let’s eat! I’m starved!”

“Hurray! Hehe!”

The two took off, leaving more dust in their wake as it trailed up to Tails, folded in a corner with his arms wrapped around his legs and his tails over his head…

Later that day, it was reported that Tails had been zipping around, keeping himself super busy with the restoration project and carrying supplies left and right, to and fro.

He didn’t dare go back to the hub but saw that Sonic and Amy’s mixed blur were flying down the streets as they returned to work, laughing together… so happy together…

He paused as he held the rope tied to a box with stones in it.

He watched them… Amy nailing some wood in as Sonic stumbled over some split nails and almost fell, but jumped up to Amy’s level and posed as though it was all just a break-dancing impov spoof. They continued to laugh as Tails’s energy slipped.

‘What if… she becomes his new best friend?’

The thought plagued him, as the rope began to slip through his fingers.

He shook his head, fighting back the depressive feelings and tightening his hold on his rope. “I won’t give up hope on Sonic again.” He assured himself. “I’ll talk to him later.” he took off, continuing the work.

In the night hours, he sneaked out of his room, walking down the hall towards Sonic’s door. His footsteps creaked, but he tried to be discreet, he gently twirled his tails so they didn’t make much sound but kept his footsteps lighter.

He couldn’t sleep anyway, not until he at least made peace and found some closure with Sonic.

But then…

“Hahaha��!” Sonic’s whispering laughter froze Tails’s entire being. It was coming from one of the hub’s main rest areas…

“Shh..! Sonic, someone will wake up and hear us!” Amy’s whispered voice… sent Tails slumping back to the ground, his tails falling with the action.

“I just think you calling me out to the ‘couch’ is hilarious, Amy.”

“I wanted more time with you…”

“We spent practically the whole day together!”

‘You did spend the whole day together…’ Tails grumbled in his mind, rolling his eyes, growing annoyed.

His lack of sleep wasn’t helping to keep his emotions in check either…

“I just~” she leaned against Sonic’s chest, spooking him out a bit. She closed her eyes, her hand grazing against the thin fur upon it, “…Wanted a few more words with you… would you stay until I fell asleep? For one night, at least, I want to sleep easy.” She breathed in his familiar scent, snuggled up a little next to him, and began to take long, calming breaths.

Sonic fidgetted, looking around as though not able to really relax himself.

He lifted a foot up to his knee and tapped it repeatedly, moving his hands to the rim of the couch’s back and looking away from her, just seeming uneasy.

She didn’t bother to say anything but just looked up annoyed at him.

He got the message and apologetically smiled down to her, “I’m… not really sure I can ease you into sleep like this, Amy.”

“Oh, no?” She teased, being sarcastic before smiling. “What’s on your mind then?”

Tails creeped back to his door, about to take the knob and deal with his second-best feelings when…

“I’m actually pretty worried about Tails, to be honest.”

His heart peaked a moment as his breath jumped.

“Tails?” Amy tilted her head off his chest, and Sonic took the motion as an opportunity, moving her away.

“No offense, Amy. But I haven’t really seen him all day. I heard from the guys he was working hard too. You said he was having nightmares? I’m used to that. Tails has always had weirder dreams than me. But, the thing is, he always tells me about them. No matter how whacked out they are, he’s never failed to tell me what’s on his mind.”

Tails’s whole face began to break, slowly tightening as his vision on the door knob blurred with tears, his mouth spreading to make way for his silent wailing.

“Tails is my best friend, Amy. I want to make sure he’s alright too.”

There was a loud thump as Tails’s knees hit the ground hard.

“WHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAHHAHAAAA!” gross, ugly sobbing came from the hallway as people’s lights flickered on and the whole of that sector was alive with fright.

That night, in Tails’s room, Sonic rubbed Tails’s head as he clung to Sonic, crying a little less dramatically from before, but still tearfully sobbing as Sonic spent the entire night hearing his fears and comforting him with his laughter… perfectly directed to him and him alone.

Amy understood, heading off to bed, but Tails still felt the need to tell Sonic that it’s bros before smoes. (your dudes before excuses)

The next day, Amy asked if both Sonic and Tails wanted some ice cream, Tails left the two to have another walk and gladly proclaimed, “But he’s my best friend!”

Amy giggled, looking up to Sonic, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how selfish I was being...”

Sonic gave her a playful wink, “Yeah, you’re kinda terrible at that.”

She smacked his arm and that was that.

(Kinda a friendship Sonic and Tails but also Sonamy? Hope you enjoyed it! :Db)

[nahalism]

Why the choice of celibacy? I’ve been thinking to try it myself but I’m not sure.

oh gosh lol. there are a few reasons why and some probably need a trigger warning so, ill split this into two parts, the first explaining the reasons why and the second with what i got from it (so if u are trigger prone u can infer why without the details) —firstly, my mums from a tribe where its tradition to practice female genital mutilation, and its actually something she was shamed for not continuing. so despite her efforts to shelter us from that, sex was not something openly discussed. ever. and if sexual content ever came up (on tv ect) it always felt like something debauched and provocative that i should b embarassed of. children r sponges so ofc, i inadvertantly picked up on her attitudes and conditioning & inherited that shame. that shame only got worse once i did get sexual urges and begin to explore them because it was toward both girls and boys and i wasnt bout to b telling my mum i kissed my best friend under the table of my catholic school when i was 5 :). so yh.... in addition to repressing that, i then went on to b exposed to porn and introduced/groomed for sex at farrrr too young an age and that shit sent me over the edge cause i was already moving like a social chameleon, so those experiences just added to emotional disconnect i was suffering from and led me to enact sex and sexuality from what id been told opposed to what i felt. all those experiences heightened my inability to feel anything at all, let alone express myself from a place of authenticity. so, in that sexuality and sex became solely performative, and rather than being a natural expression of my feelings or something that i enjoyed or felt present during, i would only actually enjoy it in as far as a tool for ‘control’. back then almost every relationship i had was built on trauma bonding so id get myself into these mad situations that were emotionally, mentally and borderline physically abusive because the intense emotional bursts mixed with heavy lust and would blind me to peoples true natures and the fact that under it all we had nothing but pain in common and didnt even really like eachother. ultimately sexuality became a coping mechanism and a way to ‘diffuse situations’. i used it appease people rather than enjoy it as something fun or as the the result of intimacy. id use the fact i could allure my partners or turn them on to keep them ‘close’ to me, but also to feel useful. i liked the idea (and trust me it was just an idea) that i was the only one that could get these avoidant, sometimes mean and apparantly emotional people to be ‘calm’ or get them to a state of ‘tenderness’.

so yeah. i felt that it was important to be celibate. not only to start healing and deconstructing all the external conditioning id recieved, but so that as i did start to feel myself out and get a picture of what my self worth was and what my sexual energy looked and felt like, i could marinate in it for a while and let it blossom, before sharing it in its early stages and risk having it be warped and moulded by an outside force again. its been great for my self awareness, getting in tune with what i feel opposed to getting trapped in thinking so much. its been good for my mental clarity too, great for my creativity and over all brought me closer to nature and my ‘creator/higher self’. in terms of relationships its a process and you cant do all the work alone, but what it has done is given me the clarity to discern. by waiting or taking sex out of the picture altogether there are no distractions left. you either like the person or you dont, and that makes it easier to navigate trust and building a truer sense of presence and intimacy with someone, opposed to lust which can give the illusion of closeness but be something else altogether. all in all, what celibacy does for you is all up to how mindfully you spend the time in which yiur celibate. abstaining from sex alone may be useful depending what your intentions are, but if what you want is to increase self awareness and embark on self realisation celibacy is just a small (albiet helpful & useful) part of it. whilst it will heighten the results of your practice, there is no substitute for doing the the inner work

[defensematrix]

Give us the good boy Bap tips 👀 I’ve been playing him a lot and it’d be nice to learn some new things!

yall want TIPS? yall want to see an autistic ramble at full power for an embarrassingly long post??

OKAY so baptiste is a really interesting support hero in that he rewards good mechanics, but he isnt completely useless if your aim isnt that good, especially if you just focus on healing your team and using your abilities

that being said! his primary fire can be very deadly and its absolutely worth it to practice using his gun so you can take out enemies on your own. his burst fire is a little weird to get used to, but after a while ive found that his gun plays really similar to soldier, so if youve played him bap might be a little easier

baptist’s spread is a vertical three round burst that looks like this:

(i tried to get an in-game pic but it didnt show up well lol)

the shape of it means that its better to aim his crosshair at the neck of heroes as opposed to their head, but the verticality is mainly due to his recoil. as such, it helps a lot if you pull down slightly when you shoot

heres a gif of me shooting at the head without fighting the recoil

and one where i am. note that at this range it only takes two shots

baptistes primary fire is best used when:

behind a shield/in a bunker. baptiste can help a lot with shield wars so dont just pump grenades into your team afraid that they might take tiny bits of damage if you focus on something else for a second

to finish off low health targets. it helps if your team calls them out but usually you’ll have to keep an eye out yourself. baptiste is very good for this as opposed to trying to get solo kills, especially if you just have average mechanics (like me)

in chaotic teamfights that could go either way, use your best judgement as to whether to do damage or healing. on attack, i would say to try being more offensive, and on defense always be defensive with his kit unless youre the only person left alive

against tanks and certain squishies (hes really good against pharah/mercy, zen, junkrat, etc, but has trouble fighting tracer/mini dva and snipers that are out of range)

when using his ultimate. the extra damage is actually really good

important note as of the current patch (6/18): baptistes ult is bugged so that it doesnt amplify healing, so dps away until its fixed lol

now onto his healing grenades!

they have a lot less range than you would think (like 3m i think) its good to go into the practice range and see for yourself just how close they have to be to hit teammates so you have a better feel for it in game.

he does 60 heals per second (120 when his matrix,, actually works.) and has 12 ammo per clip, making him a decent primary healer.

in general, his healing works best when youre on the high ground, due to them being grenades. so use his jump boots to take high ground as needed to heal your team! also, if youre in an area that has open sky, they can be shot directly up into the air for a delayed healing effect

technically, you can shoot his primary and secondary fire at the same time, but its rare that doing so would actually be helpful imo, where you aim for each is very different. i guess it wouldnt hurt to practice it just in case

also, his grenades have the same projectile trajectory as his immortality field, which is good to keep in mind if you want to aim the field more precisely. when i first picked up baptiste i made a lot of mistakes bc i flung it way too far lol

speaking of his immortality field, my Most General baptiste tip would be to use his ultimate on cooldown like an ability (since it charges so fast) and to use his immortality field like an ultimate

if you play zenyatta or lucio, i would compare using it to their ultimates. ive found that the longer i wait before using it the better (in my replays i see myself use it too early out of panic and the result is Sad), but you dont want to avoid using it completely and end up with a dead team. finding the balance is hard but it comes with practice

like lucios ult (and sometimes zen) it can be used for initiation! i had a really good team that fought a bastion bunker on paris with dive, and i helped by throwing my immortality frisbee on top of the bastion when they went in. if you have a winston, try throwing it in after him when he initiates

its also very important to pay attention to where exactly the frisbee ends up, because if you place it right, it cant be hit by the enemy team. try to place it slightly behind cover whenever possible. this is by far the most abusable part of his kit and i wouldnt be surprised if the duration of it gets nerfed to compensate. so if you want to cheese your way up the ranks, go into each map in custom games and practice where to put the field so that enemies cant hit it. this alone wont do much if you dont have the game sense to know when to do it, though

ultimates that immortality field is good at countering:

GRAV. zaryas get so mad about this bc people forget to shoot it and its so funny. also hanzos dragons cant kill the field so it can counter that combo entirely, just be sure to communicate to your zen so they dont waste ult

dva bomb/junkrat, but it will be instantly destroyed and your team will be very low health, so be careful. it also counters pulse bomb if you get stuck

earth shatter. if you suspect rein has it, stick to the high ground at all costs to avoid being caught! this is good advice in general for supports, but especially for ones with defensive abilities

in that same vein, you can counter emp if you can avoid being caught by sombra. note that sombra can hack baps frisbee so watch out

genji. genji can kill the field but it takes away from the amount of slashes he has and in this time your team should be able to kill him. if hes nanoboosted, you have less time to get to safety, so try charging your boots to get away from him in the meantime

mccree. high noon cant target the field. press f for everyones favorite trash cowboy. (it can however help friendly mccrees and pharahs from dying as soon as they hit q so try to combo!)

speaking of pharah, its possible to get her to kill herself with barrage if you put your frisbee right in front of her face

not good ultimates to try to counter:

doomfists ult can be avoided by charging your shoes and jumping up in the air (as long as youre not directly beneath him lol) so its not worth it unless you see someone else about to be smashed

related to doomfist, if he gets on you it can be hard to set the field down right bc of how his abilities displace you, so be sure to look straight down when you use it

reaper, soldier, and bob all auto target the field, so if its out in the open it just disintegrates

torbjorn and hammonds ults also kill the field pretty much immediately

also, as good as immortality is, there are some situations where baptiste just doesnt work as well as other heroes. if you have a good zen or lucio who use their ults well, or if you have a really mobile/spread out comp, you might want to pick one of the other main healers.

if in general you feel like youre not doing enough healing, try switching to mercy to reach your teammates better. if you need crowd control or anti heal then pick ana, and moira can be good at lower ranks if youre not getting any peel/dying too much (just please keep focusing on healing)

on that note, if your other healer insists on playing dps moira, baptiste is a good fit since he can main heal and also provide defense abilities to make up for that

as for his regenerative burst, all i really have to say is to try not to use it out of panic every time you take chip shots (i do this still lol) it works best when you and your teammates are all in a fight, actively taking damage

im sure that even with all i wrote im still forgetting something but i think im gonna call this done for now. i uhhhh love baptiste a lot and think hes a good hero to try to rank up with bc his primary fire has a high skill ceiling but his healing/abilities are more forgiving at lower ranks

[junionigiri]

Boom Clap [bnha: vigilantes one shot]

Story Summary: Haimawari Koichi is quite content spending New Year's Eve alone in his run-down rooftop apartment, but Iida Tensei has other plans.

Relationship: Haimawari Koichi/Iida Tensei

Rating: T

Warnings/Notes: haha wtf is a  warm-up drabble anyways. this isn’t edited but whatever. gonna go back to my other AU in a bit. Happy new year everyone :)

31 December 20XX, 2154H

Haimawari Koichi watches the night sky alone.

He has cans of beer, one of them already open and half-empty in his hand. His phone is out, but apart from taking piss-poor quality photos of the stray fireworks already colouring the night sky in vivid oranges and greens and pinks, it is glaringly quiet. Almost… annoyingly so. But he can’t complain.

Pop is finally spending time with her family and not with some college-aged vigilante, as proper middle school girls ought to. Makoto-senpai is with her older brother too--she managed to pressure him into going home to see their parents after so long.

His college friends wouldn’t step near here, for obvious reasons. And the kinda-friends he’s met as a vigilante… well, Koichi’s kind of dense, but even he understands that inviting Eraserhead for a beer here isn’t the most genius idea.

Knuckleduster… well who knows where he really is right now. Koichi only hopes that he’s alive wherever he is. He doesn’t have a lot of chances to say that he misses that insane master of his, not even to himself.

And… that’s the extent of his friends, he realizes. Those close enough that he can theoretically ask to spend some time with him on his little rooftop in the city, at least.

That’s… kind of sad. But he tries not to think about that too much.

There’s no one else here.

It’s not so bad, he supposes. Life as a college student by day, a vigilante by night isn’t exactly the most quiet. He made up a stupid University-related excuse not to go home to Mom’s because villains don’t take the holidays off (and also he prefers meeting the new year without being slapped silly like a fly). So he should really enjoy the quiet, while he can.

Another stray firework explodes above his head. He tries to capture it on camera, for what it’s worth. As expected, it looks shitty, exactly what you get from a flip-phone camera.

He deletes it.

It’s quiet. A breeze blows by, cold and biting, but his All Might hoodie keeps him warm.

It’s the perfect time for a villain to strike. If he were a villain, he’d strike now.

He looks at the streets below his complex. Come on. Somebody? Anybody?

Nope. Nada. He sighs, and looks up the sky again. Maybe he should patrol, or something? Ah, but during holidays like this, the younger heroes are out and about, on higher alert than on a normal day. If he ran into any of them, he might just be the one to get arrested. Not the best thing to happen to greet the new year.

His phone rings like a bell, startling him. “Ah--”

He flips his phone open. A single message, a short one, but just enough to make his heart flutter.

Tensei Iida (2201H): Happy New Year to you and your family! Here’s hoping that the incoming year is prosperous! Let’s work hard together! - Turbo Hero Ingenium

He’s two hours too early for the generic new year’s greeting texts, isn’t he? He must have thought ahead and sent the message before the signals got congested. Figures that the Turbo Hero is ahead of everyone, even new year’s texts.

Still… Koichi’s smiling a little too wide just receiving a generic greeting. Ah, frickin’ stupid, really--

Their chat thread isn’t exactly brimming with messages, either. In fact, this is the first message in their log. They exchanged numbers ages ago during one of their runs, but there really isn’t a good reason for either of them to send messages to each other. Besides, Koichi thinks that it wouldn’t be good for one of the more popular heroes to be in close contact with an infamous vigilante--who knows when the police might need to check his text records, or something…

Oh… and also, his crippling shyness gets in the way of making a proper human-like text too, let’s not forget about that.

His fingers tap nervously against the keys of his phone, erasing and re-typing and erasing his messages again. Double-thinking whether it’s too eager or too disinterested or just right for him to text now, or in a minute, or in an hour--

What is he going to say, anyway? Blessings to you too, please keep watching out for us? Yeah, let’s work hard together, you on the legal side and me on the dark shady criminal side? Yeah man I can’t wait til we run again, please wear tighter jogging shorts this year hehe jk lol. Oh, wait, is this the appropriate time to confess his crazy gay crush yet? With any luck, the moment Tensei reads it, there’s fireworks in the sky, boom boom and then--

Koichi, no. Just. No.

He inhales, and lets his thumbs fly over the keypad. Happy New Year, he starts out in Japanese, ending with a :) .

Too plain. He deletes that.

Happy New Year, he writes, in English this time. There, that’s not too plain, that might be something that Tensei will at least be a lil bit amused to read. Right. He thinks about it a little more, and adds another :) .

Well. That won’t make any hearts throb. That’s… seenzoned material, that’s not really-- yeah, that’s really boring, even for a generic new year’s greeting that he’s spent a lot of thought on.

A generic new year’s greeting that he’s spent five… ten… fifteen minutes composing already. What the fuck, Koichi. Just say something, anything, just fill up the screen with some shitty fireworks kaomoji and blame it on Pop if he asks about it.

He takes a deep breath. Okay, so… the past year he’s gotten away a lot with being a little more impulsive, right? So just… say what you want, and just let things happen. Most likely nothing will happen, so.

Me: Happy New Year! Thanks for all your help this year. Hope you and your family are doing well, ‘specially Tenya. If you’re patrolling, I hope you don’t run into anyone too dangerous lol~

Before he berates himself for sounding stupid, he presses send. It gets delivered at 2218H.

Okay. Well that isn’t so bad. But the cutesy ~ makes him cringe.

He shuts his phone with a satisfying snap and takes a sip of his beer. Ugh, his face is getting warm, this beer isn’t cold enough! Come on, isn’t it supposed to be winter, where are the bitter biting winds when you need them?

No cold wind comes, only another message. He almost tosses his phone over the side of the building the moment his phone chimes again.

He takes a deep breath, flips his phone open and reads:

Tensei Iida (2221H): Thanks, Haimawari-kun! Tenya’s doing well, he’s with our grandparents outside the city. Just about to finish my shift now tho, so obviously I won’t be celebrating with everyone ^_^’ Are you patrolling too? Try not to get caught, okay?

Ahhh ahhh a real reply ahhhhhhh a blessed smiley from Ingenium, ahhh. He needs to go in and put his head in the freezer.

But he doesn’t--Tensei replied to him really fast, so surely it’s polite to reply to him really fast too. I mean it’s the polite thing to do. A guy on patrol in a quiet city has the means to reply fast, so he should return the favor.

Trying to will his heart not to go doki doki much like a shoujo manga heroine, he struggles to type, Oh, im not lmao theres a lot of you out there and i dont want to spend the new year in prison.

Tensei Iida (2224H): You’re right! That’s a relief. I don’t want to go to Tartarus just so we can go jogging together! ;) Tensei Iida (2224H): so are you with your folks? Out of town?

The winky face, and the implication that Tensei would visit him in maximum security prison should the opportunity arises almost kills him on the spot. Koichi suppresses another urge to roll over the cement tiles of the rooftop and manages to reply:

Me (2226H): nah. naruhata Tensei Iida (2327H): oh. In the university dorm, by yourself? Me (2228H): haha no lmao i dont live in the university. i live up on the roof in that one rundown apartment two blocks away cant miss it Me (2229H): but yeah by myself Tensei Iida (2331H): !!! on new years eve? Me (2232H): yeah? Tensei Iida (2335H): Oh! Well, that’s not good... Me (2236H): lmao do u feel that sorry for me Tensei Iida (2337H): It’s not that! Sorry hahahaha Me (2238H): its ok haha

Well, that’s a little awkward. Koichi doesn’t know what to say next, and when the minutes pass by, the speedy replies suddenly stops. He tries to type out another reply to tell him to change the subject but he has no clue how to proceed.

And then, the minutes pass in silence. There are more fireworks rising in the skies now, building up a crescendo for the bigger ones scheduled for midnight. They’re really pretty, but Koichi’s guts are in turmoil, giddiness making them churn in one direction, and pure anxiety in the opposite direction.

Fifteen minutes later, to his surprise, his phone chimes again.

Tensei Iida (2253H): 16th st apartment complex?

A firework goes boom behind his head. Koichi blinks. Uh. yeah, he types in dumbly.

Tensei Iida (2254H): Ok. Look down. :D

Koichi stares at the message for another dumb second and almost trips over himself rushing to the edge.

It’s a little hard to see since he’s way down there, but Koichi doesn’t miss the shiny silver and blue of Ingenium’s mecha-inspired hero suit. He’s waving up at him, and Koichi hopes that he sees him waving back.

He’s prepared to turn on his heel and run down to meet him, but he sees Tensei hold his hand up, in a gesture for him to stay right where he is. Koichi tilts his head curiously, raises both arms in a confused shrug.

He’s far away, but Koichi sees him give his trademark grin. He goes five steps backwards…

And Recipro-bursts his way up the side of the building.

“Holy sh--”

It’s less than half a minute when Ingenium makes it up and over the ledge. Smoke rises from the engines of his arms and it’s really concerning, but the way the Turbo Hero is just smiling at him with a salute, like he’s in a mission to rescue him from the burning building of his heart just... makes him melt in a stupid puddle without any sense of comprehension.

“Hey there, Crawler,” Tensei says, stepping closer to him.

“Hey,” Koichi stammers out. “Um… that was neat and all, but you know we have an elevator, so--”

The pro laughs. “Yeah, but elevators are pretty slow, and I wanted to see you faster than they would allow me.”

Anyone who is interested is free to canvass Koichi’s corpse of its vital organs. Just. Say the word.

“Yeah, you were… pretty fast, haha.” His voice catches like he’s still in puberty. He clears his throat. “I didn’t know you could run up the sides of buildings. That’s pretty insane.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know I could too.”

“Uh.”

Tensei collapses on the floor, legs crossed and arms waving in front of him like they’re boneless. “You wouldn’t happen to have any juice there, would you? My arms are feeling pretty wobbly, and--”

Aaaah wtf! “Y-yeah, hang on a sec, Iida--”

Koichi glides in his apartment in the speed of light and rummages through the scanty contents of his fridge. He has to dig a bit to find the stock of grapefruit juice at the back.

(Since that incident with the Catbus, he buys a stock of them on impulse and carries a bottle with him during patrols. In the tiny chance that he runs into Tensei and he needs extra fuel, he’s frickin’ ready. And if he doesn’t, well… grapefruit juice doesn’t taste that bad, so…)

He’s back to Tensei in record time. He tosses the bottle to him, and the pro chugs it down gratefully. He instantly looks refreshed at the last gulp, puts down the bottle with an aahhh and only grins at Koichi’s distress.

“What the heck, Iida! You haven’t done anything like that before?!”

He laughs awkwardly. “I’ve run up two storeys before, but--”

Koichi’s apartment complex is, like, ten storeys high. “Y-you could have gone splat or kaboom on the way up here, man! You could have been a really bloody human firework!”

Tensei shrugs. “I didn’t though! This tells me a lot about what I can do with my quirk!”

He’s a little too chill for someone who could have fallen ten storeys down onto the dirty Naruhata pavement, Koichi thinks. He gives him an exasperated look and collapses next to him. “Yeah, I guess, but… you didn’t have to do all that just to see me…”

He grins at him again, leans his head closer to his, like he tends to do from time to time. Koichi reckons that it’s because Tensei doesn’t have a good sense of personal space, but all the same it makes his heart throb painfully in his chest. “I felt like I did. Let me show off from time to time, Haimawari-kun.”

Ahh you cheesy bastard, Tensei, you bleeding show-off. It’s a good thing it’s so dark, because he’s sure he’s a cherry tomato by that time, and he can’t blame it on the half-empty can of beer next to him. “Hah! Sure, do that… I’d show off my new moves to you too if I could. You’re lucky I can’t, you’d feel like a total slowpoke hahaha--”

What the fuck is he saying, he doesn’t know anymore. This back-and-forth shit-talking thing (Makoto insists that it’s flirting, but Koichi disagrees because hah why would Iida Tensei flirt with a guy like him?) is more natural when they’re running out the streets and out of breath from trying to outdo each other. Without the excuse of physical exhaustion to explain away his stammering, Koichi’s a little worried of how brainless he might have sounded then.

Tensei only looks more and more amused, and doesn’t get any less close. “I dunno about that, Crawler. Been a while since we had a real race.”

“Heh, you’re right.” Koichi has been more careful using his quirk in public, out of disguise. He doesn’t wear his All Might hoodies when he’s around Tensei, unless by accident.

A silence falls between them, a slightly uncomfortable one where Koichi is hyperaware of the steadily increasing proximity between them, of the alcohol in his veins, of his rushing pulse. Trying to distract himself, he reaches out for an unopened can of beer and offers this to Tensei, who accepts.

He pulls the tab off the cheap, lukewarm thing, tilts it close to his. “Cheers.”

Koichi nods. “Cheers.”

They take a swig in unison. Fireworks explode above them, spurts of colors in the sky. The shine of the lights above do something interesting over the steel of Tensei’s suit.

“Hey, so… if you want to take your suit off--”

“Hm?” Tensei looks down on himself. “You want me to strip down? I usually expect dinner first, but for you--”

“That’s not what I--” Koichi stammers, as he flushes in an ever deeper scarlet that he doesn’t think is even possible. Ah, how drunk is he, huh? How Asian is he that he would turn this red, just from drinking this teensy amount of beer?

He takes off the metal plates more carelessly than Koichi reckons he should be handling them, and lets them down on the floor next to him with a sound. Tensei looks grateful for the extra breathing space as he leans back to appreciate the growing noise and lights above them. “This is an awesome spot, Koichi. The view’s great from up here, huh?”

“Yeah, you know it.”

(And the younger boy leans back, away from him, and tries not to appreciate how Tensei looks in just that tight black bodysuit thing he has underneath. Lean, broad, muscly, like a Greek god, and...)

A few quiet moments pass by. Tensei finishes a can. Koichi works on his third one and he doesn’t know why he’s suddenly drinking so fast. He coughs a little to clear up his suddenly tight throat. “So it’s weird because you almost died going up here, but thanks for coming up here, I guess… it’s pretty cool being up here, by myself--”

Perfectly content, and lonely, and quite possibly drunk by himself by this time, but not as drunk as he feels right there next to him--

“--but it’s cool not… looking at all the pretty lights by myself this time,” he struggles out. Stupid, really, he isn’t even looking at the fireworks anymore, just the beer can under his nose, like he’s reading tea leaves and begging for some clarity.

“Yeah. I’m glad I invited myself up here, too,” Tensei says gently. “I’m shameless I know, but knowing you’re alone up here, I couldn’t help myself--”

Koichi laughs nervously. “Yeah, you are pretty--”

When he turns his head, Tensei’s nose is two centimeters away from his. His eyes are looking right into his, freezing him in place.

“... pretty,” he swallows, already lost. “... shameless.”

Tensei makes a sound in his throat, so quiet that he can’t hear it among the sounds of explosions, but he’s so close he feels the hit, like he Shooty-Go-Blammed himself in the chest. He might be agreeing or disagreeing but fuck whatever they were talking about, Koichi can’t remember why the small talk matters anymore.

Tensei puts one gloved hand underneath his chin, a lackadaisical grin on his face showing off that sharp incisor that Koichi thinks is very cute. “Pretty,” he agrees.

He feels the change in the air, feels the charge spark in between them, through his eyeballs and his little brain.

They lean in closer. Eyes flutter closed. Koichi’s heart is beating fast and hot and electric.

Lips touch.

Explosions go off in his brain.

Ahhh, Koichi screams in his head, as the sensation of Tensei’s insanely soft lips on his beery virgin ones immediately makes him question reality. One hand goes up to experimentally touch the back of the older man’s head, fingers threading through that soft, dark hair. He pushes a little, nudges him just a little closer to him. The minuscule distance between them practically disappears.

“Ahhh--” This time his mental scream is an audible gasp when Tensei pushes him down on the concrete, supporting his head and back with gloved hands, and continues the kissing with Koichi underneath him.

Sparks of light litter the night air, like violent blooming flowers against the infinite canopy of darkness, in booms and kablooeys and claps and other ridiculous noises. Koichi doesn’t care to wax poetic about them, not when his heart is probably doing the same shit, with Tensei and his warmth is right there above him, feeling so nice and right.

Yeah, he belongs right here, right in his arms. What the hell has he done all year, the blur that is his 19 years of life, before this?

Eventually they have to break the kiss to get some of that chill air between their lungs. They gasp in unison, a dashing smile on Tensei’s face, and a dopey smile on Koichi’s. The older man caresses the side of his face. “Haimawari-kun,” he says gently.

“Yeah? Ah, it’s Koichi, by the way.”

Tensei nods. “Koichi-kun,” he repeats.

That right there is the stuff of dreams. Koichi feels like he’s overheating, despite the winter night. “Hah, is it new years yet, Iida? We should be counting down, or something--”

He gets another sweet kiss on the lips instead. Moments stretch before him. The concrete under him feels like the softest cloud as he allows himself to melt under his touch once again.

“It’s Tensei,” he breathes sensually into his ear. “And… honestly, I don’t care about the time, Koichi, just--”

There’s jovial shouting down at where the city square is, and more light and noise, far away from their rooftop.

“Yeah,” Koichi agrees with a smile. “Fuck that clock.”

They laugh like a couple of idiots, and kiss some more and damn, he could do with more of this in the coming years.

Soon, it’s January. The air is getting a little colder. They spend the rest of the first day of the new year in Koichi’s humble apartment, warmer than either of them could ever hope for.

[letslivelady]

5 Lessons to Learn from My First Online Dating Encounter

If you just want the bottom line about the online dating lessons, go to the end of the post. But this online dating story is worth the read.  

Email and text excerpts that follow are authentic actual conversations (including misspellings) saved on my computer and cell phone.

The Last Love of Mark Rossi!

Less than 24 hours after I had put my profile on the online dating website, Match.com,  I was pleasantly surprised to get a message from Mark Rossi -- age 62 (five years younger than me -- could I handle being a cougar?).  Mark's profile showed him to be  Italian/American, a widower, a successful international businessman and very good-looking!

"This looks really promising,"  I thought.  He asked to exchange personal email addresses and send additional photos of each other.   The match was off to an exciting start. I chalked up the poor grammar to his foreign native language.

Here are a couple of excerpts from Mark Rossi

"My old friend and pastor would tell me, if you aren't ready to feel or look stupid, then don't fall in love ,lol but sincerely that is the bitter truth. When i lost my wife , he told me that the fact that something good ends doesn't mean something better cant start. Can you prove that right? I have come to realize that let a man is reduced to nothing except he has a woman to call my companion.

I don't need a super model, I rather need a very good friend, a good woman with a good heart, someone who knows when i am tensed just by looking into my eyes. The whole world may be mad at me, but if you are smiling at me, i would care less. Can't wait to read from you again dear.I wish you have a wonderful evening ahead.Till I read from you again soon, sending you morning hugs."

It all sounded great.  But...

But I was asking him specific questions like how it was that he was located out of Bedford, Kentucky?  And if Italian was his first language?  The name of his business?  But he never really answered those questions.

After a week or so the first shoe drops!

"I have been so busy today because something came up and i have to travel tonight to Dubai for a week, i was contacted by the customs there to come over to sign some confirmation papers because some security protocol was breached by the shipper during the shipment of my cars and some incomplete paperwork from Germany. The cars are 16 in total, a total of 4 - 20ft container consisting of 4 cars in each.

The plan was to ship down to Dubai, talk to a dealership and move them for sale. We can always communicate everyday through emails and phone until i get back home, I promise to keep in touch and seeing you would be top priority on my return.

This could be the beginning of forever and i would put my mind to it and i want you to also. please have a good evening, i would talk to you soon , please leave me your phone number.

Sending you hugs. Mark.."  

So, what was so bothersome about this?

The delay did not bother me at all because I wasn't so sure I was ready to meet him anyway.  What bothered me is that there was no traceof an Italian accent in his voice during our phone conversation -- despite the fact that he was supposedly raised in Italy until the age of 12.

I asked him again why he was based out of Kentucky, but I was not satisfied with the answer as he only spoke to getting out of Florida after his wife's death.

Put on Your Investigator Hat!

Being the savvy investigator that I was, (wink, wink) I decided to check him out online.

The only Mark Rossi my google search found in Bedford, Kentucky looked nothing like my Mark.  The guy was the wrong age, very scruffy looking and it was a mug shot.

Well, that can't be him.   So, I checked in California where he supposedly first lived and I checked in Florida.  A little voice in me said that he might not be who he says he is.   But, I decided to play it out, see where it led. Maybe he was just a really great guy.

Gullible? Yes, a bit!

I asked him to send me photos of himself in Dubai (to see if he is really there).  Also, I decided I wanted to re-read his online profile as I could not remember everything on it.

After all, if I wanted to be the last love of Mark Rossi, I better double-check on what he actually had said about himself.  But, the profile had been removed from the online dating site. (Not a healthy sign.)

What Happened to Mark's Online Dating Profile?

Mark wrote:

"It was a Lovely day in Dubai and a pretty warm weather.

For your questions, I moved to Bedford to start a new life and create new memories with a new love and companion on a long term, someone i can love forever because i am commited to it and i am focusing on you alone now thats why took off my profile from match.com to ensure i can bring out the best of the relationship we have.

This busines has been lucrative since i started and thats why i invested a lot in this because its my last business trip before i retire to bring 16 cars in to sell at once to the dealership, i have two Porsche and four Ferrari among them , i wanna get into retirement because the income i get from this would establish me more and i would have agents to run this without leaving the house, my motive is to always be there for my companion, life is short m this is my last opportunity to be in love and i want to seize it .

I really dont have time for phone cameras now because this is business trip and i dont want jeopardize it for pleasure my next trip here has to be a vacation with my companion and lover and i see you as the one to occupy that position."

Mark is pretty smooth, isn't he?

The next day, I had notice of a security breach on my iCloud account and I had to reset the code. (Never really sure whether he had anything to do with this or not.)

The emails and text messages continued with romantic language and details of how the trip was going, etc.  Then, the news! Mark was not going to fly home from Dubai, but instead was going to fly right into Kansas City.

Mark was Flying in to See Me!

He wrote:

"My One and Only, I am about to sleep here. Tomorrow will be a long day for me I have to get every paper work cleared and have things back on track for the full release of all my shipments so i get to deal with the dealership that buys them before leaving for the states, can't wait as it's been a long week already.

I think of spending alot of time with you when I get back to town and holding you so close to me. Whenever you think of me, please know that no matter how many miles separate us or how much of our lives comes between us we would have many lovely times and fond memories.

Even though we're apart, this will not be the end of our commitment until i meet you and i fell you in my arms.

Just always remember that I really adore you already and I want you to be part of me and me for you too as i can feel my lonely days are over.

Big Hugs sent your way. Love . Mark"

Click on the link below to see the itinerary.

mark-rossi-klm-flight-itinerary

When I first got the itinerary, I thought

Wow, he must be for real.  He has booked a flight!  Now what do I do?

I needed advice.  I was excited that he might be for real but scared as to how to handle the situation if he actually showed up.  Should I offer to pick him up at the airport?  Should I suggest or book a hotel? Or, do I invite him to the house? What do I wear?

So, I contacted a couple of friends.

My sister-in-law recommended online dating and she has had considerable experience.  So, I asked her.

She gave  me good online dating advice.

NO, you do not pick him up at the airport.  You meet in a public place.

No, you do not invite him to the house.  You do not even tell him where you live when you meet through online dating.  If he is an international business man, he can book his own hotel and get from the airport to the hotel on his own steam!

Why don't you meet someone local?  If a guy sounds too good to be true, it is probably because he isn't real -- he's a fake!

It didn't sound very hospitable for someone who is traveling thousands of miles to see me, but I realized she made sense.

I contacted another friend with the good news and sent her a copy of the itinerary to prove that he was really coming to see me.

We agreed to meet over lunch the next day since this online dating encounter was heating up.  My friend decided she needed to comb through my wardrobe to figure out whether I had anything suitable to wear.  We are both excited and nervous. Then ...

The Bubble Burst!

The next morning, I awoke to an email from Mark:

"My love, I have been asleep all afternoon in stumble and distress. it had been a bad day. I don't know how to say it but i just have to say it as it would ease the burden.

I was robbed on my way to the seaport at gunpoint this morning, it was the worst experience i ever had. i am sorry I didn't mean to show you this so you don't feel bad or spoil your day but i just couldn't hold it in my heart, i had to email it to you. Please download and view document, its a police report of today's event."

mark-rossi-dubai-police-report

I bet you can figure out where this is going? Right? Well within an hour or so, Mark texted me further about his plight and I offered him my prayers.

That is not what Mark wanted.

He texted "The paperwork would finalize the major dealings here and I would be back home as planned and right now I need 2900USD to solve this problem within the next 24hours.  So far no one is able to help me out. I am devastated."

After some more back and forth he said:

"Honey is there anyway you can give me a short loan and when I return on Monday I would pay you back, I can double it for you. I feel so ashamed of myself asking you. I never wanna creat a wrong impression. I just wanna get out of this mess. Deadline got me so worried."

What a load of crap!

I asked him why he didn't just call his bank and get them to wire the funds to him.  And, how could it be that he, an international business entrepreneur, had no one at his age of 62 who he could call besides a lady he had never even met? He had an answer for everything.

I told him I would have to think about that.

It  took me about a minute to decide.

That was it.   Mark had finally revealed the real reason that he had contacted me thru online dating in the first place.  The gig was up.  He called a few more times, but I did not take the calls.  And my wardrobe make over could wait.  The take away is this --

5 Online Dating Lessons:

You need to meet someone in person, if you want to have any hope of  knowing who they are.  Otherwise, you only know what the online dating profile says and what they want you to know.  a) They might still be hiding something that would be very obvious if you were to meet them in person.  b) Some people have long distance relationships with what turns out to be a fantasy.  The person is not what they think.

Do a little research to find out about a person who might make a potential match from an online dating service as soon as you have a name.  Try doing a search on your own name. It is surprising how much you can find out yourself that is actually out there and available if someone searches for it.   a) Although it never occurred to me at the time, Mark Rossi probably was the guy in the mug shot.  I just had never in my wildest dreams guessed that someone would go to the lengths that he did to perpetrate a fraud.  b) The flight itinerary looked authentic at first glance.  Reading it more carefully,  KNS is not the symbol for Kansas City International.  The symbol is MCI. When I checked the flight numbers through the airline, they do not exist.  So, what looked real was just a fake.  If Mark (or whoever he was) had used his skills for something positive there is no telling how successful he might have become.

Read the online dating safety tips below. There is something similar on most websites.  The links below are safety tips from Match.com which are buried at the bottom of their website.  You can click the links below and copy them for a quick reference:  Online-safety-tips and Offline-safety-tips   As you read the tips you can see that if I had followed them, I would have easily avoided the situation.

Be real when you put together an online profile.  I was advised, for instance, not to list myself as a widow.  But, to say that I was divorced instead.  The premise is that gold diggers are looking for a recent widow because they think she probably has life insurance money.  But I really would rather keep my radar up than start off by presenting myself as different from who I really am.  I have met gentlemen that have shaved a few years off themselves in their profiles, probably this is true with ladies too.  You don't want or need to tell them everything, but whatever you do say in the profile of yourself, I would try to be honest.  You want to find someone who likes YOU -- not an image of someone you wish you were or someone you think is more desirable.

Have fun with online dating!  Don't take yourself too seriously.  If you are sitting home alone and would rather be in a relationship; if you want someone to share a meal or a drink with you, if you want to find your own "last love" go online and meet someone.

If you have done any online dating, I bet you have some great stories to share.  We'd love to hear about them.  Meanwhile, live your life to the fullest!

[opendoorlorien]

I like reading ur char analysis and would love to see u write on abt ur man (Kaze) ;3c

So…my precious Kaze… He’s…cute…lovely…smart… adorable…irresistible…plus…amazing… Don’t you think so? Oh, so…wild…beautiful…kind… I love him! Hug him… He’s warm and cuddly… Oh, he’s…spectacular…captivating…simply divine… I treasure him… Oops! Look at the time! I’ve kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out.

Generally I think there’s a difference between characters that are fleshed out and characters who go through actual development. Yes, many times those things coincide, but in Fire Emblem, if you’re not a main character, they usually don’t.

Basically none of the cast of Awakening “developed” in any real sense. Like I mentioned before there were some characters who had little moments or bursts of it (like Chrom and some villains) but no gradually, building arc for any of them. Instead most of Awakening’s cast was fleshed out instead of developed. Meaning, the more supports you saw of them, the more you learned about them (like backstory, where they came from, what they want, ect). There are a lot of characters who have simple archetypes on the outside, but actually have a lot of layers and details to them the further you look, like Henry, Lon'qu, Virion ect.

I believe Kaze is one of the non royal characters in Fates who is not only very well fleshed out, but also goes through some nice character development. Like I said before, Fates did a little better on the character development front with its cast than Awakening. Disregarding the royals, there are some regular units who go places too. The only ones I can think of who go through any real development ON SCREEN are Flora, Gunter and Kaze. Flora and Gunter’s development mostly leads to a bad end (Gunter’s end in Revelations is kind of bitter sweet but I find it a tad more tragic and bitter than anything, though he is sort of heal now and put some demons to rest at least). While Kaze, instead, can have either good end or bad end depending on what YOU do. Which is kinda nice, you know. His character development is interactive lol.

There are also characters like Jakob or Hinoka who go through character development OFF SCREEN which we only find out about in supports and is only told to us. And I dont find these anywhere near as powerful because we dont get to see them happen, not that they’re bad or anything, but lack a bit of poignancy because of how they’re displayed to the audience as told instead of shown.

I’ve heard Kaze described before as a deceptively complex character, and he REALLY is. At first glance he seems like a very simple and straightforward character with a personality to match. But take this from someone who hyper focuses on him, that the more you look into him, the more little quirks and details you begin to find. (Or maybe I can just see it because I’m reading too deep into him lol) Either way, I wouldn’t consider it REACHING at all to call Kaze a complex character. And there’s more to him than just his relationship to Corrin too, but just a bit. Because, of course, Kaze is very largely defined and effected by Corrin AND–as I will be referring to it as–his one big fuck up in Cheve.

But setting Corrin and the effects of that fuckup aside, Kaze’s stoic and serious personality is mainly derived from him being raised from birth to be a human weapon owned and used by nobility, which is basically what a hoshidan ninja is. But out of the three ninjas in Fates, I think Kaze ended up as the most emotionally well off. And I think the biggest defining reason for that is because he didn’t have anything big to live up to. Saizo was messed up personality and emotionally wise because he was groomed from day one to take up the family name, and similarly Kagero fights as a ninja in place of her sickly brother and as to not disappoint her family and bring shame to them. But because Kaze doesnt really have anything like this, I believe his upbringing was a taaaad more chill, and because of that while he does seem emotionally stunted and a little robotic, he still ends up being the most personable, friendly and sociable of the three ninjas. (And I think he’s kind to others and goes out of his way to help them for another reason too but more on that later)

Okay so you can’t really talk about Kaze without also talking about Corrin. Because the shit that happened in Cheve FUCKED HIM UP and pretty much fundamentally changed and made him into who he is today, and the majority of his personality traits can be traced back to that incident. Now why did it fuck Kaze up so bad? A lot of reasons really. Firstly–the big one–he failed his duty. Not only as a retainer (it wasn’t official yet, but it was his JOB then to protect Corrin) but also as a ninja who, remember, are manufactured from day 1 to serve as weapons or menial otherwise for the royal family. So failing in his duty here was an extreme failing for him on almost every aspect as a person. And this is a big blow for him emotionally as well because Kaze is not heartless here, and this fuckup lead not only to Corrin being captured but to Sumeragi being killed as well. It was, in essence, the ultimate failing (if it sounds like I’m blaming him here, I’m not. I honestly think Garon would have found a way to fuck shit up whether Kaze had noticed those soldiers in Cheve or not. But from his eyes, this is how he sees things)

This affected Kaze so deeply that he furthermore refers to this failing as a ‘grave sin’ he’s committed, and one that he believes he can’t and has no right to be forgiven for. The loss of Corrin and Sumeragi then by extension created a huge avalanche effect by ripping a huge hole in the hearts of the Hoshidan family and the country itself, which I’m sure Kaze got to see the full and gradual effects of as the years went by. Ouch. (I’m sure he’s very aware of Sakura’s anxiety and Takumi’s many many issues being after effects of what went down in Cheve also.) AND WAIT, it GETS WORSE. As if this wasn’t bad enough for Kaze who, REMEMBER, was a child at the time, probably no older than 15, knew that Corrin was also being taken away to Nohr. Which is a country he’s only ever heard bad things about, so he had no reason to believe Corrin wasn’t suffering and going through hell there, which in his mind would have been HIS FAULT. (And if he heard any of Azura’s firsthand account horror stories of the place, he had no reason not to believe that Nohr was a hellhole.) So add that to the guilt

So basically, this was the worst thing that could have happened for everyone involved (sans for Garon, or maybe even the Nohr family because they got a nice new sibling) but for Kaze and the Hoshidans? This was beyond rock bottom. It’s no wonder Kaze as a character is so largely defined and also deeply wounded by this incident.

In Kaze’s eyes he’s 100% to blame here, and because he believes he can never be forgiven for this act, he thinks the only way to atone for it is to die. In fact he probably went to Mikoto right after everything went down, told her what happened and insisted on the death penalty. But of course Mikoto is a nice lady so she said pish posh to that Kaze, forgave him, and tried to get him to keep living. Now even though Kaze wants to die, he’s not just going to sudoku or throw his life away needlessly.

To atone for this sin he knows he’d need to give his life away for a reason or an honorable purpose. So instead of just dying he does continue to live, and uses his life for the betterment of others. And this is where his constantly friendly and helpful attitude comes from. Okay now I DO fully believe Kaze is honestly just a nice guy and enjoys helping people, but I also think he makes an effort to go OUT of his way to help people as his own way of atoning for that one big failing even just a little. Like his worth is defined by how he assists others and improves their lives, whether he’s entirely aware of that or not. If he is able to make someone happy and improve their QoL, then it means he’s not an entirely useless failing of a person and a ninja like he thinks he is.  

This is also why in turn Kaze has such a low opinion of himself. I don’t think its something you really notice till you take a closer look at his supports and things, but every now and then he drops off handed derogatory comments about himself. That he’s just ‘a lowly ninja’, he humbly denies any praise sent his way just writing it off as “what I did was nothing special”, he marks himself as a determent to things even when he wasn’t. Because of what happened in Cheve, he doesn’t see any worth in himself.

(^he’s talking about chapter 4 here, where he showed up in the map with VULNEARIES for you. So he was only an asset, and yet)

(+this is also why Kaze doesn’t like the affections he gets from random women. THEY see his charm, but he doesn’t. And he doesnt see WHY they think so highly of him. He doesn’t think he deserves the praise and being showered with it makes him feel uncomfortable and upset. Since how can he be a good man when, in his eyes, he’s done so muhc wrong) 

So while Kaze is actually a very nice, sweet, helpful and kind well meaning guy, he actually has a REALLY deep self loathing and low opinion of himself. He’s kind of in an eternal rut that he can’t get out of, and doesn’t believe he deserves to get out of. So the only way to really get him out of it is of course Corrin. And luckily they run back into each other again very early on in Fates. Even though Kaze successfully helps in bringing Corrin back home to Hoshido, he’s still not completely healed here yet because his real issues havent really been addressed and RESOLVED. Corrin is back but they still dont know about Kaze’s involvement during that night in Cheve. And Kaze wants to tell them. He wants to let Corrin know about the whole deal (since Kaze is the kind of person who believes talking and communicating about your problems is the healthy and beneficial thing to do–like its one of the main things he does in his support with Saizo) but of course while the wound has kind of closed, it still hurts. He’s perfectly happy with being cordial and friendly with Corrin, but he doesn’t want to open up to Corrin too much because he’s super afraid that if Corrin finds out about what happened in Cheve, then Corrin would hate him. Which is why in their support he goes to lengths to avoid telling Corrin about it.

Their support is really special to me because it addresses a lot of Kaze’s deep rooted personal issues in which NO OTHER Kaze support even attempts at. Think about it, pretty much EVERY single other Kaze support is about Kaze helping someone else. But in Corrin and Kaze’s support, it’s about Corrin helping HIM, which is what he NEEDS more than anything. And it starts simple at first too, like with Corrin noticing he has a low opinion of himself and trying to show him “the good in himself” which he FERVENTLY believes he doesn’t have. 

So when Corrin keeps telling him he’s a good person, it actually really upsets him (to the point he’s actually angry??????!!!!! which I think is one of the only occasions in game or any other supports Kaze gets even close to being miffed. Which I think goes to show just how deeply this shit affected him right).

Corrin isnt upset that Kaze got mad with them, but Corrin realizes they bugged Kaze in one way or another so backs off. But Kaze felt super bad about it, so in the A rank he decides to GET THIS SHIT ALL TOGETHER AND TELL CORRIN EVERYTHIN. Luckily for him Corrin is a good person and also pure of heart (and can see everything was just a REALLY bad turn of Fate, not one individual person’s fault) so they IMMEDIATELY forgive him and tell him something important he REALLY needed to hear all these years. 

That from the person he failed that night, everything that happened wasn’t his fault.

Corrin encourages him to come to terms with everything and move forward from it. And this is where the concept of Kaze giving his life for Corrin “splits”. 

I mentioned earlier Kaze has good end character development and bad end character development. If you get his A rank in every route then GOOD FOR YOU, he’s healed! So now instead of dying to atone for his sin, he decides to devote his life to your well being and happiness (Giving Kaze heal settles him back into the place where he was always meant to be, as Corrin’s retainer. He even says in the A rank that, while he was meant to be a servant and retainer, he was never given a single master to serve like Saizo and everyone else had. And AS a person who was RAISED to be a kind of living weapon or tool, this really disconcerned him. He had no one and nothing to specifically devote to. It’s like he was a tool made for a certain purpose, but that purpose was taken away. So imagine the years he must have spent living in the castle, seeing all the retainer and lord squads together and feeling a sense of loss and emptiness in himself because he didn’t have that and he didn’t know why. I think even the Hoshido family, whether they know it conciously or not, kind of see him as an odd one out and I don’t think they really knew what to do with him aside from menial bitch work like delivering letters and crap.SMH

Anyway, now that he’s got you again his PURPOSE has returned. And he reminds you whenever he can, whether you’re married to him or not, that his life is YOURS now and he’ll give it up if necessary to keep you going.

And he will and DOES.

Now while Kaze still readily says he’ll give his life for you, I think its said in a better spirit than it was pre-healing. I think the difference is illustrated very well in the good end and bad end of Birthright chapter 15.

Where if he’s NOT healed his only thoughts are to get you out of this alive, himself be damned. (He’s also really emotional at the time and not thinking very clearly because of…….obvious circumstances. So in the short window he has, the question is posed to him “save Corrin or save yourself” and of course he gives himself to save Corrin (which I think is even more super interesting if you consider that you married him to someone else who isnt Corrin. Because in this moment, no matter WHO Kaze is married to, if he didn’t get that A rank with Corrin, he is going to die here. Corrin is the only thing that can keep him alive here, and when push comes to shove, Kaze throws away >everything

While if he IS healed Kaze has put most of the emotional anguish and baggage behind him so he is able to think through the tense situation of dangling off a cliff 500000000000000000 miles in the air, and find a way to save THE BOTH of you. Which is definitely the most definitive example between healed!Kaze and nothealed!Kaze. (Although I still do think if it came down to it, he’d still risk everything for Corrin’s life, even if that meant sacrificing his own. It’s just now throwing his life away isnt at the forefront of his mind.)

So with Birthright out of the way, what about that Conquest! Now of course Conquest is a super interesting route for Kaze too because it puts him in another kind of extreme situation. And that is him leaving everything that he ever knew and loved in Hoshido to help you, fight for the dream you believe in, and assist you in achieving your goals. And yes this is another way of Kaze trying to atone for his sin. I think it’s at least half the reason he decides to defect and join you, but he also says he felt your conviction when you fought, and he firmly believes in your justice, and that you are fighting for the betterment of everyone. So he’s not entirely fighting for ONLY you here, but fighting to help you achieve peace in the way you’ve chosen, by going to Nohr.

Kaze is interesting in both routes but I think he’s slightly more interesting in Conquest, and also because BR treats him like he’s dead after ch15 even if you kept him alive.

In Conquest Kaze has two interesting moments, one in chapter 11 where he makes the choice to turn his back on everything in Hoshido for you and go to your side. And in the ninja cave chapter later on in Conquest where we run into Saizo. Which is a nice chapter and I think is executed MUCH better than the Mokushoku crap in Birthright. Firstly because Saizo tells Kaze and the audience that Kotaro is the one who killed their father, which in BR you only find out if you send Saizo to personally engage the dude. And because of that in Conquest, I like to make a point to have Kaze blow the guy’s shit to pieces. 

hehe get fucked

BUT post-battle we have a small neato moment too where Corrin expresses regret and says to Kaze “if you hadn’t come with me then you wouldn’t have to fight against Hoshido and your brother.”btw briefly touching on Saizo and Kaze here, or at least how Kaze feels about him. Even though they’re not super personal and close with each other, of COURSE they love each other they’re gd family. I think Kaze’s feelings toward Saizo are mostly respect and admiration. Kaze says in the drama CD he thinks very highly of Saizo and nothing will ever change that. Even if they are enemies, Kaze does what needs to be done to achieve the peace he believes in, and the peace Corrin is fighting for.And that’s what he tells Corrin. Both Hoshido and Nohr are fighting for what they believe to be “justice” (

There’s also the interesting possible circumstance of this happening

This has the potential to be a really interesting scene in A LOT of ways (like, think about this for a sec. Not only is Kaze killing his brother, he’s also taking the Saizo name down with it). So we could have got some neat dialogue or a cutscene here to explore this scene a bit, but unfortunately they were making three games here and this ALREADY happens in late game conquest, so unfortunately the developers just didnt have the time or energy to give us a good scene here.And I get it, like, not everyone is going to have Kaze kill Saizo here. It would have been nice if they got one short exchange here. But, I guess that’s what fanfictions are for.

Now with all of THAT out of the way.

How do I personally feel about Kaze? WELL OHOHOHO*SCREAMS FOR 5 YEARS*

For me, personally. Kaze just does everything in the right way. I’ve had a lot of husbands over the years who I’ve loved in varying states of intensity and over varying periods of time. But I feel like none of those old hoes comes anywhere close to the ‘perfect blend of everything right’ that is Kaze.

If he were a cake he’d be the perfectly made chocolate cake. Sure chocolate cake seems kinda average and “the usual” at first, but imagine you had one which just had the PERFECT amount of everything prepared in the absolute perfect way to the best effect, and the more you dug into it you found like a gooey strawberry center which made the flavor all the more complex and interesting.

Kaze also subverts VERY many of the pitfalls that have made me fall out of older husbands that had similar archetypes to him.

I like serious characters but not characters who are TOO serious (Lonqu suffers from this, and, looking back, Frederick is VERY rigid). But with Kaze? DW ABOUT THAT because he has a spicy and playful side. And he’s also CHILL.

Kaze seems almost obsessively devoted to Corrin which could potentially lead to bad end yandere? DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY A WHOLESOME PUREBOY who respects personal boundaries and doesn’t want to be smothering.

With his personality he might be boring and not go anywhere as a character? (Frederick was kind of like this) DONT WORRY WE’VE GOT A++++ DEVELOPMENT and putting him in interesting character situations.

And any other issue I can think of for not liking Kaze is always subverted in a similar sense. Just everything he does… he does it so right. He may not be a big main character and he may not be pushed to any extreme radical limits like he potentially could be or like some other characters are like Takumi or Xander (again, another place for fanfics) THAT DONT MATTA TO ME BECAUSE HE IS A BEST.

Honestly he’s probably the best husband I’ve ever had and while I generally am fickle and my opinions on things can usually waver and change, I do really hope this love lasts a long, long time.  IM ALSO CRYING.

[authenticaussie]

✫ MarcoAceSabo 86

Commissions! || Ko-fi!

ace as a runaway god

he’s basically just a teenager who Does Not Know what he’s meant to be doin in his immortal life and w o w he’s super bored and also his dad is an asshole to humans? lol?​ ace does not agree? don’t be a dick dad

sO BASICALLY HE POOFS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AS A “HEY DAD IMA GO LIVE W/ HUMANS BC I WANT TO HAVE A BETTER WAY TO SAY FUCK YOU”. Roger is UPSET and torn bc he’s like oh! I remember this stage of my life! Wanting to find myself! Burning shit! Exploring! Stealing things! but then he’s also like [godly scream] “WHERE IS MY SON”

Also Ace is a dumbas bc he doesn’t tell his mom and so she’s actually on Roger’s side and is like no i do not support my runaway son he hasn’t sent us a single letter im very mad at this young man. He could’ve at least said goodbye before disappearing w/o a word!!!

Chasing Twisters by Delta Rey is a Good Time for this AU (especially the first lines; ‘I was born / with lightning in my heels / set a spur upon my ankle / put a horse under the steel’ )

Anyway! Ace ends up travelling a lot and bein a dork and accidentally outing himself as godly all the time omfg. He’ll fly up to pick fruit and fall out of shit and get stabbed and be fine and then get confused when people freak out???? It’s hysterical

ANYWAY he figures out how to (relatively) pass as human ///after like so many errors omfg and ends up running into Marco!! Who travels from town to town doin magic and offering his protection and trying to chase down an old god / some other myths just because he’s a curious fucker

Ace STILL fucks up being human it’s a GOOD TIME, LIKE!!! They’re campin somewhere, idk, near a mountain pass???? huge rocks everywhere???? and Ace keeps picking up rocks and throwing them everywhere like they’re nothing and Marco’s like “uhhhh isnt like. That huge stone monument heavy????”

-ace, holding it w/ one hand over his head and cursing as he tries to find where his hat has gone-  "uH YES. HAHA. WOW. YEAH. ITS EXHAUSTING. CANT HOLD THIS FOR LONG!!!!“ ///drops it awkwardly with a thundering crash

Basically what I’m saying is Marco totally knows he’s at least a demigod / blessed by the gods but is so unperturbed by this bc he’s a demigod too? (Ace being an actual god is another story entirely.)

a n y w a y they go through a town where a friend of marco’s called Sabo lives and Ace gets along w/ him super well and they have a lot of common interests and Marco moves on to the next few towns by this. like. mountain thing that encloses it??? so it’s  a dead end basically??? and ace stays and gets to know sab better

whispers Sabo’s Totally Flirting with / flustered around Marco but marco doesn’t notice s h i t

Anyway Marco comes back and is like yeah I usually stay here for the winter bc the passes freeze over so badly??? And Ace knows he should go and that he could easily find his way, the cold has never bothered him, but he-

he stays

(they’re fascinating, and they’re clever, and they’re kind, and Ace finds himself drawn to Marco’s easy grins and Sabo’s quick, clever tongue just as easily as he’s drawn to a flame). They turn from “heyyyy humans are so Interesting” into “These Humans are so interesting” into “these are my friends and they’re so interesting and Have Interests that  I love hearing them talk abt”

ACE STARTS GETTING SUPER FLUSTERED AND NERVOUS AROUND THEM AND ACCIDENTALLY USING HIS POWERS AND FORGETTING WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO. AND THEN TRYING TO COVER IT UP LIIKE “WOAH SURE WAS A COINCIDENCE THAT ALL THESE CANDLES IGNITED AT ONCE HAHAHAH”

Marco ends up just patting sab’s shoulder and leaning down to whispers that he thinks ace’s old place didn’t take to kindly to demigods and sabo’s like ooooohhh and they NEVER BRING IT UP

Ace eventually!!!!!!! asks them on a date!!!!!!!!! and theyre like weren’t we already doing that????????? and Ace is like what. no. uu taking me ice skating and me taking u to a frozen waterfall that i unfroze for the two of your bc Marco Looked Sad are totally not dates!

Fuck ace goes a minute later. Sabo bursts out laughing bc he’s thinks it’s h i l a r i o u s and even Marco’s having to hold back a grin and Ace buries his face in his hands and is like why didn’t you TELL ME and sabo laughs even harder

Proper date!!! With ace giving them flowers !!! that he flew to idk persephone’s garden to get or smth and trying to Look his Best and marco and sabo are like. hearts melting awww gosh he’s just Trying So Hard they think it’s adorable they’re dying

BUT LOL ANYWAY WHILE THEY’RE ON THEIR DATE ROGER ENDS UP FINDING ACE BC ACE HAS BEEN IN ONE PLACE FOR SO LONG

AND SUMMONS THE THREE OF THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR DATE

AND ACE IS LIKE FUCK SERIOUSLY???????? W O R S T TIMING

also: “if i jumped off this god-summons cloud would u two get mad???”

“UM YES???” goes sabo, “dont leave us alone to face your boss!! you asshole!!!”

B o sss//// ace says, wheeze-laugh-dying, and Sabo’s like that’s Not making me Feel Better

“Lol so like……….I know this is breaking the only rule of first dates……..but like. Hey. Guys. Meet uh…My family lol”

[Marco, internally dying as he stares up at the towering figures that are Obviously trying to tower just for the kicks but haha doin a Good Job]

Sabo and Marco, slowly processing their boyfriend is n o t in fact a demigod, but rather an ACTUAL FUCKING GOD

WHAT THE FUCK ACE is Sabo’s first thought

that explains the rock thing is Marco’s first thought, followed by how the FUCK did i not see this coming

Roger who’s trying to glare at ace for running away and leaving, like NO!!!! NO!!! NOTE!!! THIS IS NOT POLITE BEHAVIOUR, SON!!!!

but then also DATES??????????? D A T E S ???? HIS LIL BOY IS D A T I N G??? HE’S ONLY LIKE 200 YEARS OLD HE SHOULD NOT BE DATING THATS ONLY LIKE 20 IN HUMAN YEARS

Roger who’s trying to look sternly @ ace and also threaten sabo/marco at the same time

Rouge standing in the background like “ace im going to kill you how dare you not say goodbye to me” except like the vague aura is directed at everyone (Mainly ace but like. Everyone knows she’s Super Annoyed)

Look Ace if you’d Just Said Goodbye, everything would have been Fine. Your mom’s Cool.

You didn’t say goodbye

or send her a single letter telling her how you were

she’s not that cool

Roger basically Dismissing Marco/Sabo and Ace gets super pissy and starts y e l l i n g at roger and then bc it’s like. realm of the gods ala mt Olympus or w/e the surroundings start to echo the mood and Ace is quite literally spitting fire and is shifting more and more into his less human form???? So a lot Taller and glowing, wispy eyes, and parts of him encased in flames, flames trapped and visible beneath his skin and Sabo reaches for Marco’s hand because he’s never seen Ace this angry and look he’s only human, he’s been exposed to a lot and he’s pretty brave, but Ace is-

upset. he doesn’t want to see Ace upset, because it hurts something in his own chest, and he can tell by Marco’s tight grip on his hand that Marco feels the same way

But then they almost get hurt in the backlash of Ace / Roger’s argument, and Marco yells at them to stop and Ace gets snapped back to himself rather than just the anger he is in god form, and almost immediately shrinks, and Roger gets SUPER mad bc he thinks they’ve been manipulating ace???????/ and trying to make him smaller than he is????? trying to make him human, and Roger views humans the same way one might view a stray, mangy pet; pityable, and a bit cute and fun to play with, but not-

not worth much.

“This is what humans are! They’re cowards and liars and thieves! And these two are trying to-”

“Make me fucking happy!?” Ace yells back, but he stays small and stands in front of his friends and refuses to go to his dad’s level because he’d gotten better. He wasn’t so angry and useless and bored and entertaining himself by hurting people, he was-

(Humans are worth just as much as gods. they sacrifice themselves for nothing more than it is right and kindness, when they know they won’t come back, when they know people won’t remember them, or know their names, or think of them again. Humans don’t ask to be worshipped, or praised, humans just- are.)

(And these two? These two, the way roger had spit out who they were like that could encapsulate who they were-)

Roger puts her hand on Roger’s shoulder just as Ace turns his back on his father and whispers carefully to sabo and asks if he’s okay and runs his fingers over Marco’s hand and assures himself that theyre okay and apologises for what happened and asks them to forgive him for hiding the truth and Ace being interested in something again, not looking lifeless and hollow and bored, and how ace had been arguing to protect them rather than just arguing because he was so uselessly angry-

Ace turning around again to glare at his father and snapping his fingers and dropping them back on earth and staggering to the side bc he didnt usually do that and Marco immediately helps steady him and they just

talk softly into the early hours of the morning and ace presses careful kisses to their cheekbones and lips and hands like he’s the one worshipping them, their callouses and scars and birthmarks, the way their bodies have changed over the years in ways that his never will, because he can change how he appears

There’s peace, for a week, a peace of careful exchanges as they slowly grow comfortable with this new knowledge - ace knowing that they know, marco and sabo coming to terms with the fact that ace could be terrifying (but he’d never scared them. he’d never, ever tried to scare them)

Then Rouge shows up. Obviously a goddess in human form, obviously perfect, obviously gentle and kind and smiling, and presses a kiss to Ace’s cheek and then one to Sabo’s and then one to Marco’s, and she smells like flowers and summer and home, like warmth and love and she’s so- perfect

Ace is cautious, because his mother can be worse than his father (he loves her more, afterall, she’s his mom and she has always been the one to protect him, with a fury that he never wants to be on the receiving end of). She smiles at him and tells him that as long as he’s happy she’s fine but that a letter or two wouldn’t have gone amiss and basically invites herself in to have tea / lunch and makes ace tell her about all his adventures and he starts off carefully and faltering because he still thinks it’s some plan of his father’s, but she laughs at all the right moments and asks questions and is just

his mom. She’s his mom and she loves the fuck out of him-

and he’s happy. Any fool could see that, and no fool would take him away from that

She bids them goodbye at sunset, promising to come back later if invited, and Ace says that he’ll try, and then rouge asks him to grab her shawl from inside and shoos him off to get it and looks at Sabo and Marco and her eyes soften and that almost makes it worse when she says, “you won’t hurt him, would you?” because to answer yes would be to disappoint her

Then Marco shakes his head and glares at her and goes we won’t. But not because we’re afraid of you, but because we don’t want to hurt him. First and foremost he’s our friend.

Rouge smiles, properly this time, with teeth and laughter and it sounds a bit threatening but they can tell she’s amused. “I’m so glad he found you.”

She kisses them both on the cheek and is gone before Ace comes out with empty hands, and they’re left to explain what happened before she left (Ace sighs and apologises, and Sabo laughs and says he’d never expected to deal with gods in his daily life).

Random members of ace’s family show up sometimes. Rouge declared it a Thing. They just. give the mas fam stuff. Tree that blooms all year round. Tiny plants / terrariums that are accurate details of places they know, right down to the tiny - living - animals. glass panes that show the weather in the future and mirrors that put together what you want to wear and have it folded up on the bench when you come back.

They don’t realise they’re still younger than everyone else until they realise just how old everyone else is. They don’t realise that gifts from the gods are sometimes ones you can’t see. They don’t realise, but by the point they do there is nothing to contest; they don’t want to leave Ace, and Ace doesn’t want to leave them. It helps that, for all the years they were living in the city/town no-one had become super c l o s e to them.  

They get known as the weird magicians at the end of the road, and kids get dared to knock on their door and ask for stuff. Sometimes ace opens it with part of his eye on fire and sometimes marco answers it with dough on his face and laughter from behind him and strange things in the kitchen and sometimes Sabo answers it but keeps the door half closed and as you walk home you can swear there’s something by your side.

(“What do you get when you mix home and something free?” Rouge asks one day, before they’re really comfortable around each other, tapping her teaspoon against the side of her cup, ankles crossed and poise perfect, and Sabo makes a curious noise in the back of his throat.

“What?”

Rouge smiles mischievously. “You already know him.”)

a Thing that I tried to write as the Start that would’ve been Fun: (from an alt!idea where Ace was literally on the run from angry gods for having stolen something ala prometheus and sabo/marco are gods/demigods sent to get it back but Whoops they’re In Love now).

Ace had run away from a lot of things in his life.

He’d been doing it his entire life, after all.

(He just really hadn’t expected to add “fleeing from angry gods” to his list of skills.)

[calvinlepesh]

Purpose? Purpose.

My life was perfect til that day. I didn't even have a clue of how good off I was. Disrespectful, ungrateful, angry, but truly, sad. "From the beginning of my time or from the realization of the universe?" Very bold question I ask myself currently. How do I want to convey my knowledge? How do I want people to percieve what i will tell them? How will I word my stories and thoughts in a way that is too hard for normal people to understand? Can I? From the beginning it is! Now, Born Valentines day 1999 was chubby cheeked enthusiastically loved and cherished Lepesh. Born in Minnesota cold. Raised in Minnesota cold. Lepesh knew hot summer fun, running through the sprinklers, water balloon fights, Football, Basketball, Ice cream trucks, Chalk on the side walk/driveway, Biking with neighbors around our nitche. Biking by myself to the gasstation for candy. Waking up in the middle of the night to play video games in the basement, Getting caught waking up in the middle of the night to play video games in the basement. Lepesh knew winter fun. Snowboarding, Snowfuckingshoeing, Sleding, Snow tubing, Snowball fights, Huge snowmen, Snow forts along the cul-de-sac snowwall created by the huge cool snow plow! Wow! I thought to myself  mouth wide open with a smile, as the large plow on the front of the truck bursted through large mountainous snow mounds with ease. Creating wonderous mounds of snow in every frontyard across the neighborhood. Building snow forts and then having a war with snow balls. The point is my childhood was filled with fucking joy and happiness. It rocked man and Im super happy that it happened. I couldn't imagine this shit happening to me before.. Well before it happened. Its 2008. Its december as I sit on the couch with my brother and my parents..... well wait here theres a little more first. February 14th 2008 Im nine years old today. Im in Mr.Larsons fourth grade class. I enjoy creative writing, recess and lunch. although I didn't write much. I really love football and sports around this time. I decided to be a cowboys football fan when my dad said I could choose cause hes too nice to force me into being a Vikings fan. My parents especially my mom but definitely my dad aswell. Let us choose what we wanted. Which I disagree with now and will certainly not allow my childeren to decide what is right. Although Im sure I will at some point definitely not in elementary what the fuck?! Anyways. Decieded to be a cowboys fan cause my dad hates them and loves the Vikings. Which I now love today. Anyways. Im in the car with my whole immediate family driving. I ask where we're going or what we're doing. While heading west in the car my dad tells me we're going to Wisconsin and we're gonna stay the night at a hotel. The entire car ride their my dad is messing with me and im furious. Im certain today if I was in the passenger seat during the exchanges between my father and I I'd be laughing my ass off. But almost at the same time sad and angry of how ungrateful and disrespectful I probably was to my father. Idk maybe I just pouted, which I did alot lol.. anyways We finally arrive after probably an hour or so drive west, not infact in the direction of Wisconsin to a large farm in eastern Minnesota. 'There's nothing here' I thought to myself. It wasn't a desolate farm but damn near close. Large housing for live stock aswell as people. My father then reveals that im going to be getting my own dog for my birthday. I immediately light with excitement and smiles. Joy pulsing in my heart. Ive always wanted a dOG' i think to myself as I turn to my brother with excitement. I can only imagine how wide and big my smile and cheeks were to this day. Entering into the large barn with my family. Me, my brother, mother , and father all enter the barn to the amazement of dogs and insulation lol. From the outside it almost looks like a overly large stereotypical red barn, however the inside has another side to the story. Carpeted floors off to the left held the petting area with already free roaming dogs. while the right side of the room looked as if they did paper work and forms and whatnot. Going right wasn't even a thought in my head. LEFT. Headed for the dogs im stopped by my mom who is greeted by the worker/farmer. Im not even listening to her. I want a fucking dog. Moments go and my patience already thin is thinner. It takes alot for me to blow up even as a child. The problem was the things building up my 'meter of rage' as a child shouldn't have been. Anyway. Finally I head over to the dogs climbing the little fence even a little small for me already tall for my age. Immediately I spot an adorable smaller black dog. I kneel down to sit with it and attempt to hold it. Only to kneel right into a huge carpet puddle newly accompanied by its main ingredient dog piss. Nice. As i tell my mom she just laughs and tells me to be careful. Its what I did worst and least often. Unfortunately that was one of my biggest issues. After looking for awhile. I now realize my dad was probably ready to leave after 10-15 minutes definitely longer than that but Understandable nonetheless. After probably 35-45 minutes of trying to find a dog that didnt shed and was actually good looking. My mom had been carrying this one dog in paticular for a decent amount of time. Asleep in her arms as if a child beautifully sleeps my savior..... The car ride home Hank held the dog the entire time. Almost sinisterly which him being an older brother. acceptable, however frowned upon. Uncharacteristically careful I am as I hold my new dog. Smile from cheek to cheek and thats a long distance lol. Still carefully holding her i slowly bring her and a blanket along with hank to the basement. Where I lay out the fluffy green blanket and set Katy ever so gentely down. Standing next to my brother stareing almost in a daze like trance. We have a dog!' We were so happy. Hank and Lep happy? Together? very rare nowadays. I would certainly come to forget of such times even now almost a foriegn concept of us being so happy together. Now back to the OG storayyy............ Holding katy close weilding her support almost as a weapon to defend myself from such an awful thing. Its happening' I feel it' i just know' its happening' We are able to create our own reality because we (humans) designed a very primitive (in comparison to the universe) way to communicate how we feel. Speech. Speech is very important. Its our first amendment here in the US. say whatever u want. Pretty much. our speech is primitive because it doesn't describe things that we are uncertain of. We have to choose in our speech whether to Have no Idea Agree disagree yes no. Now of course there are exceptions to that. But not to normal people. Normal people can't understand this. If you are reading this right now and are lost for words but think you're 'awake' so to speak. just listen. This is a huge secret to life. Huge. It may change ur life over night. The best part about it is you get to decide. Ask yourself. Am I going to be open minded to what this man has to say? Ask yourself do I want whatever he says to be true in my life?... Just so I can touch as many people as possible and help the (working class which im apart of} hear me out. You may think im fucking crazy or that idk what life even is either and you're right I don't but all you have to do IS ACCEPT THAT WHATEVER IS/WILL/HAS EVER HAPPENED, Happened because you decided it was going to happen. Before you were even born. Before anybody way born. The best part about it. Is that it is unpredictable and it is fueled and directed DIRECTLY from our speech. Whatever you speak out loud for example say I said and I have. I want to fucking die. and I meant it. I really mean it. If you don't mean what you say then learn to do that before anything. Before u start this really take the time to realize ur worth not as a person but as you. Cause you created everything in your world. The best part you created it that way cause thats the way it turns out best for you. I hope atleast. Think about it. You get through everything. most things people kill themselves over. You're trying to make yourself strong for some reason possibly? or maybe catching myself up to everyone else cause I had such a nice and spoiled childhood? Past karma current karma. Thats what gets me. Theres no way a god created this world. But i could've created this world. Maybe im evil just like the world a little bit deep down. I am. Definitely a little evil. Its apart of my soul. Its apart of everyones soul in my world maybe not as much on some people and Ill never know why that is and I don't need to cause, I trust my judgement. It may be wrong sometimes but im still alive today for some reason that I decieded. thats the beauty of myself I truly never know what im gonna do each day specifically. Ill know if im gonna be tired or up for another 5 hours. Cause I will be and Ill feel it. Ill know when i need to fucking pee. But I never know what mindset is right or true for me. partially cause i have shitty short term memory and bad hearing and vision and a bad liver. im 19 lol. Anyway. Basically the secret is speak what you want and mean it everyday. You'll know if you dont want it as badly some days. you might even miss a day. All you're trying to do for yourself by doing this is getting yourself into a routine where you put those '(vibes) or Speech and words/ Communication. Communicate with your universe. Speak how you feel. Speak what you want. Speak how you're going to get it. Even if you're thinking theres no fucking way thatll happen. Theres no fucking way im ever going to pass through college. theres no fucking way id be able to get through law school. I can't be a chef I've hardly cooked. are my common misfires. Misfires however very common after the first few days to weeks will disapate if you PUSH ON! Just like you always have! This is what you were waiting to find. You created the world it is today for yourself today to see this and reconize for yourself today. That you're doing this wrong. Since starting my program I live with partial contentment as a human being. However I personally keep myself open to negative thoughts and wishes periodically to balance my life. However as for most of u assume this is rather stupid but selfless nonetheless. The reason I hold dark as I hold light is because this is what I decieded and this was meant to happen. The decision made by the creator of my universe which is me to write this to you and share what I have learned to help better your lifes for the benefit of them I do not know what I or they gain from this because it is beyond my comprehension aswell as yours. It could be for something of the lines of in 200 years cause I told you these secrets and my experiences and helped you better your life over time and you benefitted and you passed onto your childeren. that no your family lives on in the future 200 years from now. and they're good people. maybe not all. But if taught correctly and this isnt a cureall for everybody. But it significantly helps better improve overall mood and life tolerance in your life. It doesn't work immediately. It isn't gonna take it easy on you just cause you know now. In fact. If you are not open minded currently do not read because this idea sent and recieved and read and processed by a closed mind. Blocks the process from ever having the ability for your mind to hear and read properly as an openminded individual would.

[nchyinotes]

How to launch an independent magazine, by Delayed Gratification

February 22 2018

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/how-to-launch-an-independent-magazine-22nd-february-2018-tickets-40937174190?aff=es2

In this class you will:

-Learn how to turn your magazine idea into reality

-Find out how to identify a successful editorial niche

-Understand the nuts and bolts of commissioning writers and designers

-See how to pull together a winning subscription, distribution and marketing plan

-Discover how to survive and thrive beyond the first year

You will leave with a good insight into the independent publishing industry and a strong idea of how to set about launching an independent magazine.

 Thoughts: I actually found this event on eventbrite a few months before it happened, sent it to my friend who I knew would be interested (hi Ayesha!) and then forgot about it. Then the day before, she asks if I want to go because her friend cancelled so she had an extra ticket, so I ended up going with her haha. I’ve always been vaguely interested in starting a magazine, and was actually the co-editor of an online art magazine aaaages ago with my online friend (hi Angela!), but was never really serious about it. While some of this information was not new for me (a lot of it overlapped with your typical entrepreneurship/startup advice, ie. finding a niche), the advice that was specific to launching indie magazines (logistics and business aspects) was very useful and interesting, and I really appreciated the numbers they threw in from their own business. Overall, was a very fun and honest look at the business, and the organisers were super friendly. Also left with a free copy of Delayed Gratification (their mag), which was cool to read.

  EDITED NOTES

 Introduction

Met early 20s in dubai, journalism students, working as time out editors, learnt how to make print mags together / fell in love with it

Went in different directions, and then all ended up back in london at 30

Just over 7 years now

Named independent magazine editors of the year 2017

Most independent magazines are losing if not hemorrhaging money - lots of vanity projects, made as a shop front for creative agencies.

Attrition rate is extraordinary. Intense desire to make them, but the number that make it past issue 2 / 3 is very low.

Lower barriers to entry than ever before - people are used to them, a lot more need for them (solace in print from digital world) + tools are there + there are all these places to sell them now (mag culture!)

Bad news: will probably break your heart, high failure rate, odds are against you, difficult economic model to make work, are not immune to pressures in mainstream press (but don’t face: massive debt built up in 80s/90s for rapid expansion, pensions liabilities, offices)

Were dreamers + journalists: novices at nuts and bolts of making money/funding

90% of success is turning up - determination to keep going even in early years

Maybe expand into documentaries / books in the future

Key lessons

1) you probably shouldn’t launch an independent magazine - sink which you pour your money, dreams, hopes

Brainstorm: Why do indie mags fail?

Not thinking about how you pay for issue 2 → run out of cash v quickly (where frequency comes into it, ie. weekly)

Just getting visibility: Hard to find your audience - with so much competition, etc

Often have expertise in one area, but lack expertise in another function that’s vital to bringing product to market

Content burn out, esp. If you make big commitments (launch with huge interview etc) - second album syndrome? Not to create too many structures that need to be filled in early days.

2) ^ can be overcome with a niche - you need a niche

Fat brad magazine

Terrible people magazine

Slightly foxed, nutmeg (scottish football periodical), mc1r (only about redheads)

Their niche: slow journalism, something to champion

What it did for them:

issue 1 cover was by obama’s hope poster artist (+ issue 5, limited edition posters, interview = all for free)

Content by Interviews (henry kissinger, etc) + writers - because it resonated with them, wanted to support it = can use those people’s credibility to add to theirs

Coverage + press: something to talk about (today program on radio 4: one 6 minute interview got them ~400 subscriptions = able to be condensed and easily explained/summed up)

Could have been slightly more bullish about fast news in the start, should you be worried about alienation??

Brainstorm: A name and niche

Colors magazine - activism & protest issue

Trend (mindfulness) vs Niche

Helps to sort of person we appeal to, what need am i filling that hasn’t been filled, what is my spin

Need to be passionate (committed, reason without a doubt), not egotistical, believe in your idea, ask for help a lot, honest

3) you need to think about the business

Beyond issue 1, what it is to run a magazine business (VAT returns, subscription systems, fb ads)

Frequency & cost

Weekly or monthly is really really fast. Always easier to go from quarterly down, because it shows you’re getting better, etc (awks if you have to go the other way).

Issue 1: 12 pounds, issue 2: 10 pounds.

When setting price for individual issue, what would you charge for a year’s subscriptions? You want to offer subscribers an appealing discount (that you’re not losing on each subscription)

Christmas is key for the indie mag industry - big burst of subscriptions as gifts. So don’t launch in jan or feb lol, christmas run is key, be well established for this! 50+% this year was from last 5 weeks of sales

Don’t launch in summer - nobody gets subscriptions then, more newstands then

Print, digital, or both?

People don’t want to pay for digital issues, not that captivated by complicated stuff you can do on there.

You have to charge VAT + pay percentage to platform for digital copies

People expect to pay less for digital copies

But there are some digital projects that are fascinating - de correspondent (similar premise, crowdfunded, purely digital in dutch, really collaborative / self contained digital ecosystem. / community driven)

Physicality - You can get people to pay for a physical / tangible object that they just don’t for digital, they have relationships with them.

Latterly (weekly newsletter, after building huge online audience for free, now printed publication)

^ merits of this?? Passion project more bc of time sink??

Subscriptions vs newsstand

Subscription systems

Gocardless (pay direct debits)

Chargebee - portal

V difficult to make money out of newsstand sales - 50% of the cover price, 3-6 months after mags are sold, and they generally only sell 60% of the ones you’ve sent them. Treated as marketing for subscriptions.

Not difficult to set them up

In London / UK: Ra&Olly, MMS, Smiths (difficult + unresponsive + dont fulfill, but have a stranglehold on mags in country)

Paid: gold star media (get you in to salons, hotels, airport lounges, etc)

Is your magazine one that a company would like to support? Team up because they really like it

Customer

Site sales: shopify

Fulfilment: newsstand

Adjust your expectations

4) take subscriptions!!

Newsstands are hard

It’s money upfront, will help with print bills, cash flow, etc

Community building

More chances for someone to like someone

Alternatives: Kickstarter, indiegogo (to test out if appetite is there)

Subscription renewals / Direct debits ?

Do not build your business model around advertising, it’s so diffused + competitive, can’t do trackability on print issues

No ads > bad ads

Corporate work - if you prove you can make mags, you can make them for other people too

Magazine as a broader way of selling your skill set

plan for issue 2/3/4 already + worst case scenarios

5) you need to make something special

Making your magazine:

Commissioning editorial content

There are a lot of really good writers out there desperate to work for you

Draw up a commissioning form - rights and responsibilities, deadlines, etc

Approach writers that you like - tell about mag & ask them to pitch OR give them a story and ask them to write it

Longer form + freedom

Always pay! You have a contract, leverage, etc

Editorial pagination * av word count * word rate = commission

First: 10p/word

Now: 25p/word

Industry average: 30p/word

Interviews / verbatim interviews: with an expert in the subject. Get it without having to pay a word rate, take what you need from it, may tighten it up for free anyway when you send it back for approval  

Ask people who just brought out a book

Finding a designer - they expect a very carefully designed product

Don’t be afraid to let things evolve - keep moving/changing things around

First issue is not going to be perfect, important thing is that it exists

Look at magazines / things you like + get in touch with them

Have your favorite designer create a template (or a regular design) for you - easier for recent grads etc to follow, at a cheaper price

Design software: considerable expense

Indesign, photoshop - creative suite, expensive monthly. Worth looking at older versions (old DVDs on ebay - work with designer to save it down a version)

Pagination (80-100), size (delayed gratification is too big/wide to fit through most letterboxes, something smaller / standard sizes are better), GSM (cyclical trends), binding (perfect bound, saddle stitch / staples are much cheaper)

Costs of the last issue, excl. Wages (which has come up a huge amount, 7-8k in the beginning bc lots in house and paying less) : 23.8k pounds

West ale ?? printers company

Approach the printers

The only thing that’s going to push your price up is if its special paper they have to order 4 u

You’ll get inundated with calls once you start up

You want a printer that will work around you (missed deadlines or changes post-proof stage)

6) you need to tell people about your mag

Brainstorm: how are you going to get noticed?

Making waves - Print someone controversial, getting into mainstream press

Power of positivity vs negativity (attract passionately negative people? In emails? Lol. prepare yourself for backlash)

Collaborating with influencers / people with followings / associations that make sense / endorsement (within the niche) - genuine

Loving print means embracing digital - lots of new people come from digital content

Weekly newsletter : manageable amount of content, keep engaging (mailchimp), moving people through the marketing funnel

Events - sense of community, benefit for subscribers.

Free is not recommended. Commitment.

Indie mag community - swap inserts in different titles/issues/newsletters, nicer fit, more interest

Podcasts

Questions

Usually print about 1000 copies of issue 1

Issue 0 - proof of concept (rarely done in indie mags)

Limited run projects - must be pitched to advertisers / subscribers before hand as such (will probz break ur heart at issue 6)

[kaylainbloom]

An IUD-- what to “expect”

So I am a 20 year old female who has never had children before and I wanted to get on birth control. I did a whole lot of research, went to various GYNs, and weighed my options. I get horrible cramps, like keep you in bed, sweating, light headed, blackout, throw up cramps. In 2016, for the first time ever, my cramps were getting better (but that might also be because I was pumping myself full of tylenol and aleve). I was sick and tired of taking medication that I knew we killing my liver and kidneys, I also wised up and realized a 20-year-old sexually active woman should be on birth control.

After my search for birth control, I realized that an IUD would be my best option. I know I’m forgetful so the pill was out, I also have problems with fibroadenomas and hormones, so anything with estrogen was out. My doctors and I came to the decision that an IUD was best for me. I just had to choose between Mirena, Paraguard or Skyla.

All IUDs are recommended for women who have had a child. as stated before I DO NOT.

Mirena is a small, flexible, T-shaped device that is implanted in the uterus. Mirena uses levonorgesterel– a progestin birth control hormone–and slowly releases a small amount into the uterus over time. Because it releases hormones directly into the uterus, it releases a lower level of hormones into the body than oral contraceptive pills. The IUD slows or stops the movement of the sperm and egg by changing cervical mucus, fallopian tubes and the uterine lining. It takes about 7 days for the hormonal IUD to start working, and it remains effective for 5 to 7 years. Mirena is known to lessen periods to the point that it could completely go away.

My other option was a Paraguard. Paragard is also a type of IUD but it is copper and does not have any hormones. It works because it cuts off sperms access to your eggs. Periods tend to worsen with a Paraguard IUD.

My last choice was Skyla. Like Mirena, Skyla releases progestin into the body. Unlike Mirena it is only good for 3 years. As with Mirena, you might experience some changes in your period, including having no period at all but unlike Mirena, some women experience increased menstrual bleeding and discomfort.

*all of the IUD come with side effects such as ovarian cysts, acne, or breast tenderness, or have abdominal or pelvic pain, allergic reaction and a depressed mood that I encourage you to look upon your own*

Because of my already pre-existing cramps, I decided to go with Mirena. As I stated before IUDs are recommended for women who have had a child, this is due to the fact that the device is implanted in the uterus. If you’ve never had a child before your cervix is pretty much completely shut, there are instances of doctors not being able to insert the IUD because they cannot get the cervix open which is an extremely painful process.

I searched the deeps corners of the internet at 2am the day before my procedure and found all these horror stories of terrible pain and cramping for months at a time (you can look these up on your own but I don’t recommend it). I almost backed out. I asked my friends about their experiences because I figured people only went on the internet to tell the horrible ones, and the anxious person I am I just had to know if the procedure and the recovery was as bad as everyone was saying. This is what they had to say:

“Lmao no lie it was shitty afterwards I was spotting like brown stuff for legit 2 months and was crampy, I lived on aleeve. But now? Bitch. Whos a period? I DONT know her. Cramps? Mood swings? Can’t relate. It’s not bad it hurts a little but it’ll be over really quickly” (mirena)

“The insertion was rough honestly, make sure you have a ride back cuz I thought I could walk back from the health center but I couldnt, it feels like intense period cramping. Then for a while afterwards your body goes through trying to reject it since its a foreign object in your body. So your first period after getting it is going to be terrible Im not gonna lie, i deadass thought I needed an ambulance lol and you're gonna spot on and off for a while until the IUD makes a home in your uterus. I wont lie its rough for the first few months until your body gets used to it so be prepared but honestly its the best thing I did. I got the paraguard so its hormone free. I was on birth control pills for so long and i really didnt react well to the hormones. When it comes to contraception I can 100% say the IUD is your best bet. 7-10 years baby free, you can get it taken out whenever you want. Although I will say, your partners may feel the strings that hang from the IUD from certain angels, but its a minor inconvenience compared to a baby LOL” (paraguard)

“so this is actually funny because I’ve unfortunately had nothing but problems since i’ve gotten the IUD. i first got it in December 2015 and i had the worst cramps of my life for a few weeks after and my period of super long lasting like 2-3 weeks. then i went for my 3 month check up and found out my body was rejecting the IUD so i got another put in and it just got worse. i started having ridiculously heavy periods and there were blood clots coming out. i thought i had uterine fibroids or cysts so i went to get an ultrasound and it turns out my body is rejecting the IUD again so i’m getting it removed monday because i’m just not eligible for it, unfortunately, i’m so upset about it because i really wanted it to work and i have friends that love it and have no complaints and it’s just so convenient cause you literally never worry about being pregnant”

“DONT WORRY! getting an IUD was literally the best decision i’ve made. Tthe forums will totally freak you out. and it’s definitely painful, but it just feels like a really bad period cramp that lasts like 30 seconds. i had cramps for at most two weeks after. and they weren’t constant just occasional. and i had like blood spotting for a little more than a month. of course it’s different for everyone! the forums scared me too but i personally feel it was worth it and i’ve had it for a little over 6 months now.”

Admittedly, even though there was some horror mixed in, this felt REAL. So I decided to go to my appointment. If you asked me now, id say it was a quick process, two sharp burst of pain then you’re done. Im on day 3 and I only had cramps for the first half an hour after but I took a tylenol-codiene leftover from a previous surgery before hand and Ive been taking aleve ever since. But when I got out of the procedure heres what I texted my boyfriend: That was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. So first they had to measure and dilate my cervix and apparently my cervix is small and short so when they opened it i like yelled cuz that shit hurt and that was the first pain and there was blood so she couldn’t see so it took longer then they went to put it in and before it was like cramping then it ended. But when they put this other thing idk what it was I think it was a way for them to slide the IUD in? That hurt so bad I screamed and tears came to my eyes. She said that should be the worst of it because putting in the IUD shouldn’t hurt more because everything was in place so if I could handle that I could handle the IUD. Then she put it in… I screamed and that shit felt like cramping mixed with a fucking knife and there was bleeding so they had to apply pressure and that shit hurt. So like once they were done it was like a dull constant pain. I laid there for a second and then i got dressed. After i got dressed i started shaking and sweating and i fell on the floor and they had to put me in the chair and took my blood pressure and it spiked. Apparently I went into shock. Im in the car rn the codeine finally kicked in but I’m still nauseous and shaky.”

I can’t remember pain, but I dealt with it, the whole procedure was less than 5 minutes and within a half an hour I was feeling better. My vagina was swollen that night but today its fine. I honestly think it was worth it. If the healing process goes well I’ll be ecstatic. Its only day 3 so I don’t want to get ahead of myself but everyone said that this would be the worst time, for me it feels fine. It might be because Im on pain killers but I didnt expect to be this good. I have little to no pain, some spotting but thats to be expected this first month. Im already happy with my decision and I will keep you updated (obviously much shorter lol) on how the healing process is going! Lemme know if y’all have any questions!