#i dont even know if im trans
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I'm spiraling pretty bad right now. I just got off the phone with my parents, and they've been conservative and voted Trump in the past, but I've always thought of them as reasonable people with bad information who felt forced into it. When I deconstructed a bit and found myself in the dreaded Radical Left (tm) (c) (r), I was so fucked up over how it would affect our relationship that I spent a month researching and writing an essay fully outlining why I changed my mind with citations and easy to use links and everything. I was like "I know my Dad. He cares about these issues and sees things like I did, surely something here will awaken something in him." He even said he was taking his time reading through it and taking his time! I thought maybe I'd pull him at least further away from the weird shit he sometimes said.
Evidently not.
He managed to fit in a "joke" about the racist lie Trump spouted about Springfeild, Ohio in the couple of seconds I spoke to him on the call. I've been off of Facebook for a while, so I had a friend look at his wall. Full of anti-Kamala sentiment (not the "Arms Embargo Now" kind, some Facebook conservative bullshit), anti-trans sentiment, and just run of the mill conservative brainrot.
I feel so lost. Up until today I thought maybe he was different than he is, and that he wasn't just devolving into the bitter, angry, lonely old man sitting in front of his screen that his father is. He even sees the racism and bitterness in his father, and is ashamed of it, but im watching him do the exact same thing.
How am I supposed to come out as trans and be taken seriously now? Words can't describe the love I have for my dad, we have done so many cool things together. He's kind to so many people and there's so much I admire about him. And, most of all, when things aren't political and he is just him, I love being around my Dad.
I don't know if being a girl is worth losing my Dad. I'm worried it will push him to see me as "lost" to the woke mind virus in the same way I see him. He doesn't live in the same reality as me. How am I supposed to convince him that I should be taken seriously when I say I'm trans, let alone supported?
Worst and scariest yet, what if I am wrong about being trans, and this whole thing has just been a weeks long excursion in fooling myself and playing dress up? What if I go through all of the pain of losing him and have to crawl back and say "you're right, I'm not trans, I just wanted to be accepted into a community of people I thought were cool" or something. Or, worse yet, what if I get the support (even if confused) and get down the road to discover I'm not a trans woman? That also wouldn't go well.
And I understand all of the "well you don't need those people" things and the "trump didn't make anyone a bad person, he exposed how bad people are" and all that stuff. But it's still my Dad, and he was a great, kind man who worked hard to not be the bigot his father is before Trump. Now he thinks Harris is going to trans your kids and ban fossil fuels.
#tw transphobes#tw trump#tw transphobia#trans#lgbtq#lgbtq community#transfem#transgender#trans woman#my trans journey#lgbtqia#queer#trans questioning#trans help#trans support#i just dont want my family to be evil#rant post#personal rant#rant#tw dispair#conservative parents#genuinely dude seems so cooked#if i met him and never knew him i would think he is a bad person now and that hurts so much#i dont want to be trans anymore#i just want to be normal#i dont even know if im trans#idk how just that caused this much uncertainty#i dont even want to move home anymore
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happy pride to all queer children of immigrants
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#muertodraws#queer art#queer comic#lgbtq#pride#trans artist#qtpoc#trans art#transgender#transmasc#mlm#if youre a queer child of immigrants you deserve free lifelong therapy#this comic was originally going to be a “i feel like a freak” cuz im trans and people dont know what to do with me#and then it turned into like. oh god this experience is compounded by your complicted relationship to uhh well#being mexican and a child of immigrants#i was originally going to add a quote from a jose marti poem but idk i didnt want this to get too long#i think if i did that i would prolly attract the attention of latine purists and nationalists lmfaooo#i already have people who dont even believe im mexican much less a child of immigrants much less a man#the most common hate i get now is that im a confused white woman gringa who isnt latin american#besides the transphobia im just like. have you ever heard of a diaspora#anyway#hope someone enjoys this
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girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief
for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled
something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.
figuring out the looks:
i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair
#tim drake#dc#bruce wayne#janet drake#sart#i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter#which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves#but this also definitely works for trans tim#she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter#would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around#she barely knew her son#gender idk he's a girl ��� hope that helps#i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn#-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED#i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol#(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)
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how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly
#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life#and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually#im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans#who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through#ok cool.#testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt#but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine!#i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that!#transphobia#transandrophobia
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I wish I knew myself better
#spent the first 20 years trying to be what others wanted me to be#now i have to be what i want to be#and i dont even know what that is#do i want to change my name because thats whats expected of trans dudes?#am i nonbinary or am i too afraid to accept im a man?
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A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.
I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.
Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.
If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.
#remembering how people were like hmm its not actually canon that Steve is trans and adam is nonbinary...#steve doesnt fucking know what 'trans' is hes an unhoused time traveling cowboy like!!!#after an arc. about werewolves. and how people become werewolves because theyre unhappy with their lives.#especially specifically regarding their body/gender#and how adam explicitly says 'your family never saw you as a man'#AND THEN FOLLOWS IT UP. with referring to Steve as 'the man who chose'#like for fucks sake#you are being deliberately and willfully ignorant if you say its not canon.#your ideas of transness are extremely extremely limited if it doesnt include people who dont use the word.#god. ugh. ive been annoyed by this since that episode came out#dont even get me started on how people barely noticed adam is nonbinary.mm#they said they dont wanna be called a boyfriend. come on!!! come on!!!!#how can i make it clearer without them saying shit they woildnt say and have no context for!!!!#scream.#anyways.#delete later lol im just frustrated again.#im not even sure i worded this how i wanted to
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
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i'm posting these mediocre sketches before school kicks my ass again
#camp camp#camp camp fanart#cc preston#god im so pissed my computer never lasts long enoug for me to finish at least ONE drawing#and i dont even have time to go fix it because of exams#cc nikki#cc nurf#AAND i cant download episodes anymore so now i feel like a huge failure#cc gwen#save me cc episode 3 season 5#cc neil#cc ered#my art#i think preston and nikki would bond over nikki's new found femininity#since they most likely didn't get along very well before because of their differences#nikki could teach him how to fight idk#this episode validated my trans ered headcanon and my camp counselor ered headcanon#tough being right all the time#i really like that ered and nurf are both trying to become better people#i know they wont treat nurf's quote on quote growth seriously but im so happy to see so much focus on ered#i genuinly never thought this would ever happen im over the moon#ered<3333
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Just a little sketch :) She consumes my every waking moment <3
[Image ID: a waist up pen drawing of Francis Farnsworth from dungeons and daddies, drawn on lined journal paper. She is looking off to the side with a slightly shocked and slightly amazed. She is in a 1950s style dress with red lipstick. She is blushing and has mild acne. She has short, curly hair that has been badly straightened in some spots. Besides her, writing reads "transfem Francis be upon ye". End ID]
#is that even a phrase people use. i dont know anymore i give up#Kelsey let her borrow a lipstick btw. that woman is a queer icon she knows what Francis is going through better than Francis does lmfao#im calling her Francis because its a gender neutral name#and im probably gonna be using she/her for posts about her being trans or post egg cracking#but that may change#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndaddies#dndads S3#the peachyville horror#tph#tpvh#francis farnsworth#transfem Francis#transfem#trans#art#I eat art#described#image described
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QUEER TRANS BEETLE BUG THING
#i need to post my queer art more#what do i even tag this as#gen art#T4T#TRANS ART#i dont know#this IS trans t4t mlm art btw. nb/m kind of. im a boy but not really. sometimes#im a fag beetle boy 5% girl#i love androgyny#i should be more loud about being trans#wwhatever
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Hello again DGM fans, I have fallen back into it - I drew Kanda and Lenalee a bunch already so here's my other little faves, Allen, of course, and my favorite transbian couple Marie and Miranda
[Image ID:
The first image is a digital drawing of Allen enjoying a burger and a bag of candy with timcampy perched on his head.
The second image is a digital drawing of Marie tenderly resting her hand on Miranda's shoulder, while Miranda caresses it gently. Miranda is wearing black lipstick and goth eyeliner, with a purple top with a lacy cleavage window over a black bra. Marie is wearing a plain black tee. /End ID]
#allen walker#d gray man#dgm#miranda lotto#marie noise#noise marie#miranda dgm#marie dgm#im not caught up with the manga i left it at book 26 i think#havent watched hallow yet but i know what's in it#if smt bad happens to allen dont tell me 💔#i will be making canon deviation as usual#miranda goth again even if i pushed it a bit i dont think she'd wear that much cleavage window confidently#marie and her are trans women and in love they told it to me dw
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I'm gonna be so real and I don't know how to address it but fellow trans men you *have* to be more normal about other trans men being feminine. I promise this doesn't make you look like a girl. let other people express their gender differently and stop policing others, and other peoples characters, on how feminine they are allowed to be. I'm not sure where this comes from. be more normal about femininity I know it was forced onto you so I see how you would reject it. but. you've just gotta work through that I dont know what to tell you
#not even addressing the trans men that just straight up are misogynistic like. HOW? IM SORRY?#i know people are always like 'bringing up the fact that they were raised female detracts from their masculinity' but#personally. i do not see it this way and i am comfortable addressing this fact about myself#because you cant have the trans without having the assigned gender that you deviate from#these things dont exist in a vacuum. i am not the same as a cis man. i do not have the same experiences they may have#i have something seperate and isnt that beautiful? isnt that wonderful that we get to learn about masculinity from one another#idk. anyway#its like. being raised being subjected to this shit. being told to shut up and stop being a bitch and being asked if I'm on my period#idk! i would never do that to someone else! and i think you suck if you were raised that way too and do that to others#because you KNOW how it hurts and you do it anyway#i think it comes from insecurity and toxic masculinity and such but. man you guys are better than this#you can BE better
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what if they learn nothing and just go back to being clingy & self sacrificing and pathetic what then
#my art#art#fanart#adventure time#adventure time fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#trans#🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#cool posts#this js my first full pieve in god knows how long#got lazy on the grass cause ime tired & arthritic and dont care about grass#peep the long hair simon & grey hair betty#this wasnt even supposed to be a full piece i was just fuckin around with shapes then i opened tumblr nd aomeone already drew the exact same#thing i was drawing so i changed it#ok i think rhats all bye love you#remember to click for bettyer quality
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'dragon age has gone woke!111!!'
you mean the series that has poc characters and lgbt characters in every game? you mean the series that has multiple trans characters? you mean the series that has a whole quest revolving around a gay man?
i didn't realize grifters could overlook all of that, but they draw the line at top surgery scars, but i guess they never play the games they complain about.
#im so surprised there's anti-lgbt dragon age fans#actually i kind of can bc some people can be a little weird and lowkey homophobic if you romance a bi character with the same gender#that happens in any game with bi romances tho its not specific to this series#kind of reminds of the anti-lgbt and pro corpo cyberpunk 2077 fans tbh#im surprised grifters dont complain about how slavery is shown as a bad thing /hj#im not sure if the prostitute(?) in da2 is a trans woman or a drag queen but i know theres a trans character in one of the comics#theres also obviously krem#right wing grifters pls never interact with my favorite media ever again#yall never play the games you complain about and it pisses me off sm#anyways im so happy to get to make my character be like me!#and im so happy i dont get stuck with 2 romance choices as a gay man#sorry i know we shouldnt be giving attention to grifters but it pisses me off sm even though their tiles & thumbnails are so goofy#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#kwyoz.txt
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hit me with that "you're in the car with a beautiful boy and he wont tell you he loves you, but he loves you" shit again and i will kill.
"cause you wanted to touch his hands and lips and that means you were dead anyways" okay how about i just sleep on the tracks tonight boys.
"His id in my back pocket. I know i shouldnt have taken it. It was the only picture of him i could find." alr boys enough im out.
#richard siken#poetry#gay poetry#man i dont even like poetry#and i know for a fact i got those wrong#BUT ALSO CMON MAN#WHAT IS UP WITH THIS#im out#why is my first thought that id never feel anyone love me that intensely cause im not a cis boy#why is my first thought that they wont love me the way they love cis boys#why is my first thought that i wont ever have what they have#kms bruh#im so done with this#mlm#gay mlm#mlm gay#gay#m4m#mlm poetry#gay yearning#gay men#mlm post#mlm thoughts#trans mlm#t4t mlm#mlm yearning#trans ftm#ftm#ftm trans#ftm t4t
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Talking even briefly with another mexican (american) trans person is kind of sad, yeah
#im not. the most worried for myself#im not visibly trans#not even out to anyone but friends and online#and im pretty damn white too#not one thats gonna get profiled or anything likely#dont even know spanish#but im worried for my family#and i also do not know the citizen status of my biological dad and that kinda spooks me#we’ll see#blah blah
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