#i dont even know if im trans
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm spiraling pretty bad right now. I just got off the phone with my parents, and they've been conservative and voted Trump in the past, but I've always thought of them as reasonable people with bad information who felt forced into it. When I deconstructed a bit and found myself in the dreaded Radical Left (tm) (c) (r), I was so fucked up over how it would affect our relationship that I spent a month researching and writing an essay fully outlining why I changed my mind with citations and easy to use links and everything. I was like "I know my Dad. He cares about these issues and sees things like I did, surely something here will awaken something in him." He even said he was taking his time reading through it and taking his time! I thought maybe I'd pull him at least further away from the weird shit he sometimes said.
Evidently not.
He managed to fit in a "joke" about the racist lie Trump spouted about Springfeild, Ohio in the couple of seconds I spoke to him on the call. I've been off of Facebook for a while, so I had a friend look at his wall. Full of anti-Kamala sentiment (not the "Arms Embargo Now" kind, some Facebook conservative bullshit), anti-trans sentiment, and just run of the mill conservative brainrot.
I feel so lost. Up until today I thought maybe he was different than he is, and that he wasn't just devolving into the bitter, angry, lonely old man sitting in front of his screen that his father is. He even sees the racism and bitterness in his father, and is ashamed of it, but im watching him do the exact same thing.
How am I supposed to come out as trans and be taken seriously now? Words can't describe the love I have for my dad, we have done so many cool things together. He's kind to so many people and there's so much I admire about him. And, most of all, when things aren't political and he is just him, I love being around my Dad.
I don't know if being a girl is worth losing my Dad. I'm worried it will push him to see me as "lost" to the woke mind virus in the same way I see him. He doesn't live in the same reality as me. How am I supposed to convince him that I should be taken seriously when I say I'm trans, let alone supported?
Worst and scariest yet, what if I am wrong about being trans, and this whole thing has just been a weeks long excursion in fooling myself and playing dress up? What if I go through all of the pain of losing him and have to crawl back and say "you're right, I'm not trans, I just wanted to be accepted into a community of people I thought were cool" or something. Or, worse yet, what if I get the support (even if confused) and get down the road to discover I'm not a trans woman? That also wouldn't go well.
And I understand all of the "well you don't need those people" things and the "trump didn't make anyone a bad person, he exposed how bad people are" and all that stuff. But it's still my Dad, and he was a great, kind man who worked hard to not be the bigot his father is before Trump. Now he thinks Harris is going to trans your kids and ban fossil fuels.
#tw transphobes#tw trump#tw transphobia#trans#lgbtq#lgbtq community#transfem#transgender#trans woman#my trans journey#lgbtqia#queer#trans questioning#trans help#trans support#i just dont want my family to be evil#rant post#personal rant#rant#tw dispair#conservative parents#genuinely dude seems so cooked#if i met him and never knew him i would think he is a bad person now and that hurts so much#i dont want to be trans anymore#i just want to be normal#i dont even know if im trans#idk how just that caused this much uncertainty#i dont even want to move home anymore
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief
for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled
something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.
figuring out the looks:
i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair
#tim drake#dc#bruce wayne#janet drake#sart#i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter#which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves#but this also definitely works for trans tim#she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter#would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around#she barely knew her son#gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps#i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn#-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED#i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol#(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly
#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life#and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually#im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans#who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through#ok cool.#testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt#but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine!#i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that!#transphobia#transandrophobia
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy pride to all queer children of immigrants
patreon
#muertodraws#queer art#queer comic#lgbtq#pride#trans artist#qtpoc#trans art#transgender#transmasc#mlm#if youre a queer child of immigrants you deserve free lifelong therapy#this comic was originally going to be a “i feel like a freak” cuz im trans and people dont know what to do with me#and then it turned into like. oh god this experience is compounded by your complicted relationship to uhh well#being mexican and a child of immigrants#i was originally going to add a quote from a jose marti poem but idk i didnt want this to get too long#i think if i did that i would prolly attract the attention of latine purists and nationalists lmfaooo#i already have people who dont even believe im mexican much less a child of immigrants much less a man#the most common hate i get now is that im a confused white woman gringa who isnt latin american#besides the transphobia im just like. have you ever heard of a diaspora#anyway#hope someone enjoys this
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm so sorry you're hurting yourself like this. You're clearly an autistic young woman. I hope you get the help you need ❤️
thank you so much!! i really needed this encouragement. it means so much to hear you call me a woman, especially since im a cisgender male.
i will get the help i need! ill look into hormone replacement therapy and become the beautiful autistic young woman you see inside me!!
#corntent#i cant. i cant breathe oh my gosh#this is so funny#a terf found my acct ig#and im assuming they saw my face from the video i posted earlier today with my really fluffy hair??#and ig they assumed i was afab and a trans guy#holy shit im gonna cry#this is such a major compliment ?!?!?!#i cant even tell what ur trying to say#so you think. i dont. pass. as a guy?#im too feminine to be a guy so i must be a transguy says the terf#also#i did in fact interact with a terf earlier today#only one#i liked one of their posts (by accident. i only realised i liked it looking at the acct who i think sent me this)#and im sure its them. theres nobody else it could be#idk why im not naming and shaming. @terven i know this was you#open your asks or your dms or something i want. i wanna know what u was thinking here LKJDSAFAS
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish I knew myself better
#spent the first 20 years trying to be what others wanted me to be#now i have to be what i want to be#and i dont even know what that is#do i want to change my name because thats whats expected of trans dudes?#am i nonbinary or am i too afraid to accept im a man?
323 notes
·
View notes
Text
A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.
I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.
Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.
If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.
#remembering how people were like hmm its not actually canon that Steve is trans and adam is nonbinary...#steve doesnt fucking know what 'trans' is hes an unhoused time traveling cowboy like!!!#after an arc. about werewolves. and how people become werewolves because theyre unhappy with their lives.#especially specifically regarding their body/gender#and how adam explicitly says 'your family never saw you as a man'#AND THEN FOLLOWS IT UP. with referring to Steve as 'the man who chose'#like for fucks sake#you are being deliberately and willfully ignorant if you say its not canon.#your ideas of transness are extremely extremely limited if it doesnt include people who dont use the word.#god. ugh. ive been annoyed by this since that episode came out#dont even get me started on how people barely noticed adam is nonbinary.mm#they said they dont wanna be called a boyfriend. come on!!! come on!!!!#how can i make it clearer without them saying shit they woildnt say and have no context for!!!!#scream.#anyways.#delete later lol im just frustrated again.#im not even sure i worded this how i wanted to
271 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm posting these mediocre sketches before school kicks my ass again
#camp camp#camp camp fanart#cc preston#god im so pissed my computer never lasts long enoug for me to finish at least ONE drawing#and i dont even have time to go fix it because of exams#cc nikki#cc nurf#AAND i cant download episodes anymore so now i feel like a huge failure#cc gwen#save me cc episode 3 season 5#cc neil#cc ered#my art#i think preston and nikki would bond over nikki's new found femininity#since they most likely didn't get along very well before because of their differences#nikki could teach him how to fight idk#this episode validated my trans ered headcanon and my camp counselor ered headcanon#tough being right all the time#i really like that ered and nurf are both trying to become better people#i know they wont treat nurf's quote on quote growth seriously but im so happy to see so much focus on ered#i genuinly never thought this would ever happen im over the moon#ered<3333
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just a little sketch :) She consumes my every waking moment <3
[Image ID: a waist up pen drawing of Francis Farnsworth from dungeons and daddies, drawn on lined journal paper. She is looking off to the side with a slightly shocked and slightly amazed. She is in a 1950s style dress with red lipstick. She is blushing and has mild acne. She has short, curly hair that has been badly straightened in some spots. Besides her, writing reads "transfem Francis be upon ye". End ID]
#is that even a phrase people use. i dont know anymore i give up#Kelsey let her borrow a lipstick btw. that woman is a queer icon she knows what Francis is going through better than Francis does lmfao#im calling her Francis because its a gender neutral name#and im probably gonna be using she/her for posts about her being trans or post egg cracking#but that may change#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndaddies#dndads S3#the peachyville horror#tph#tpvh#francis farnsworth#transfem Francis#transfem#trans#art#I eat art#described#image described
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
QUEER TRANS BEETLE BUG THING
#i need to post my queer art more#what do i even tag this as#gen art#T4T#TRANS ART#i dont know#this IS trans t4t mlm art btw. nb/m kind of. im a boy but not really. sometimes#im a fag beetle boy 5% girl#i love androgyny#i should be more loud about being trans#wwhatever
354 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if they learn nothing and just go back to being clingy & self sacrificing and pathetic what then
#my art#art#fanart#adventure time#adventure time fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#trans#🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#cool posts#this js my first full pieve in god knows how long#got lazy on the grass cause ime tired & arthritic and dont care about grass#peep the long hair simon & grey hair betty#this wasnt even supposed to be a full piece i was just fuckin around with shapes then i opened tumblr nd aomeone already drew the exact same#thing i was drawing so i changed it#ok i think rhats all bye love you#remember to click for bettyer quality
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
Talking even briefly with another mexican (american) trans person is kind of sad, yeah
#im not. the most worried for myself#im not visibly trans#not even out to anyone but friends and online#and im pretty damn white too#not one thats gonna get profiled or anything likely#dont even know spanish#but im worried for my family#and i also do not know the citizen status of my biological dad and that kinda spooks me#we’ll see#blah blah
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
my coworker found out my dead name and then said it out loud in front of another coworker to confirm it was referring to me and now I'm sick to my stomach and I want to go home and also kill someone
#like fucking hell dude this is the fucking difference between queer people and trans people#another trans person would know to NEVER FUCKING SAY IT OUT LOUD#but people just dont fucking THINK like fucking why did i need to tell my doctor the other day that a pink dressing gown is dysphoric#HOW IS THIS NOT FUCKING OBVIOUS#im so fucking triggered and my face is hot and im angry and overwhelmed and i hate that im reacting like this#it's not HARD to find my birth name if you went searching for it but i dont want it revealed to ppl who would've never even thought abt it!!#trans shit#rant tag
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
im literally like. only an hour and a half into vlr so far but like. phi so transfem and also autistic. can anyone hear me
#trevor.txt#zero escape#vlr#virtue's last reward#i dont even know her that well but something about like. how Quickly she was just like hey btw sigma my name is phi and i'm not a man#like first two things she mentions about herself. okay#but its also just vibes like she is just So transgender and i have barely even played this game. god bless#same with autism. i cant rly justify it rn bc im so early into the game but it makes sense to Me. you just kinda have to get it#zero escape phi#update: i am now like 6h in and ive spojled myself for some of vlr and i actally have even mkre confidencd in this good lord#phi the trans autistic of all time ... i love her so bad#phiposting
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
need to hear WAY more commotion for femme transmasc btw
#im not even kidding#im so femme i’ve been on t for five years and still dont feel like i get male privilege#cause i just don’t pass#it’s really exhausting tbh#anywaysss im in a mood as we all know#justyn.txt#ftm nsft#ftm kink#ftm sub#ftm bottom#ftm t4t#trans bottom#trans kink#trans sub#trans nsft
21 notes
·
View notes