#i dont even have the energy to tag this i think
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(good future) Finding Home Pride edition <3
Trans Leo pride is something I see a lot, but personally, FH Leo wouldn't celebrate his gender. He grew up around Gali, who went through a lot of gender struggles, especially in his younger years, and with the brothers being so accepting, it's just another part of his life
But his lack of romantic attraction? That's something that stands out to him. He sees the brothers with their own attractions and crushes and such and realizes he stands out. He's different. But that's okay because he's still him and he's still valid
anyways~ it's pride month, which means i get to be even more annoying about aro pride ^-^
that final shot without text:
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt leonardo#rise leonardo#finding home au#aromantic#aromantism#aro pride#featuring future fh designs to give me more motivation to sketch the next update#might do something for agender pride later#gender is hard a system and we think its a fitting label for our system rather than just wren#cuz 'bana isnt a demiboy#but its a good flag so we usually just use that#although fh probably settles more on a demiboy label#he doesn think much of gender#but he prefers when people view him as something mroe masculine#<- a little bit of big mama trauma in that decision#as a treat <3#shoutout to csp for currupting this whole file when my laptop crashed#and recovering it yeeted a lot of progress#but hey#its done now :D#and i do like how it turned out#even if a few scars are missing but im tired and dont have the energy to fix it rn#tag wall oops#if you read this far down.. hello :D
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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howdy Dirk Nation how are we feeling about splinter parallels
#homestuck#dirk strider#Bro Strider#ult dirk#ultimate dirk#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#epic galleria#i dont like adding so many technical tags but if i dont organize myself i'll fucking explode and die and go Ult#one might call this yassifying. i simple call it having a Big Brain and Seeing the Truth#that comment screenshot is from an upload of Beatup btw. mf has like 3 fucking theme songs. lets beat him up#i was forced to draw fuckin hands. worst moment in my life. this was my own form of torture#you can see where i started to give up and go Fuck it We ball. tf is this bastard hunk wearing#what it is wrong with him. it is so attractive#i want him so bad i feel sick. i think i hauve covid. joder que bueno está el condenao me lo cargo a besos dame una noche con él#hey why dont you fuck with My narrative handsome. leans against wall with a rose on my mouth#i dont even read h:bc btw but the slay energy that panel had provoked some energy inside me in me to activate
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me when i want to accept writing commissions vs the depression thats been eating me inside and out
#i like#offered comms once#but now i have venmo and i know how to use it#but like#if i opened them back up i just#i dont know if id even have the motivation to write anyway#not to just traumadump in the tags lol but everythings felt so difficult lately#i feel so empty and not real#every day i struggle with the intense urge to just delete everything ive ever written#every account i own#and just disappear forever#and like. im not good at making connections with people?#so even though ive spiraled into another pit of isolation ive had one person check on me and it was my bf who i talk to every day anyway#and honestly i think the reason im typing this here even though its very tmi is because like#i just need to get stuff out? because maybe getting stuff out will like#help#but i dont know if it will#i started going back to therapy but i dont even know if thatll help#writing is hard#getting up in the morning is hard#breathing is hard#everything just feels so hard and i feel like i have no energy to do anything ever#and its felt like that for months and months but its getting worse as time goes on#anyway uh#im trying not to take my hiatus until february#but i havent been able to write anything in like two weeks#so maybe i wont be able to keep to my super awesome posting schedule and will instead go back to posting things sporadically as i finishthe#which wasnt often nor paced#and typically the thing that keeps me writing is praise (which is unhealthy ik) but uh. ive not been getting a lot of that so its just like#i dont know. sorry
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LOOK AT MY SELF INSERT BOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cringe is dead i can do whatever i want FOREVER and that includes making a character to beat scout tf2 to death with my own two fists
#tf2#tf2 oc#scout tf2#sprinter#soldier tf2#cw blood#goopys glop#i wont tag the other brief appearances here#also if anyone needs image descrptions let me know! i dont know that many people will look at this so im preserving energy rn#but if someone needs i can write them#anyways i lvoe autism i have gameplay mechanics mostly worked out and everything. i love tenth class ocs so beautiful#also i was fighting for my life trying to come up witha fucking name for this guy you dont even know#anyways hes a support type character. big hammer to help destroy buildings and a small sprint meter#can apply a slowness effect w the hammer and i feel that you play him by ambushing people and applying slowness and letting your teammates#pick them off and all#movement speed is actually pretty low and the sprint is very limited#but i straight up could not think of any other decent name. i wanted to avoid another s name but alas....#anyways um um um i love autism if anybody has any questions about him please let me know flutters my beautiful eyelashes
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i feel like i type so much more than is reasonable when i do talk to people but i also don't get to socialize a ton so i just have soooo many words in me and if i'm like, tired or short on time, it is so much harder to restrain to the already-pushing-it point i can sometimes manage ;-;
#txt#i am used to posting long things that are essentially a conversation with myself because i either don't#want to bother others with certain topics or i just am used to anything i have to say really being... worth saying...#so i will sometimes go back and add more tags because i'm still thinking about it after the fact and the gap in time where someone#would have said something to prompt further thought is just. me continuing it with myself. bc i'm still thinking about it.#and then that translates into how i talk to other people where i sometimes feel like i either have too much to say without only#keeping what's of utmost relevant importance#(which is also due to me knowing if i don't say it Right Now Immediately i will forget if it does become relevant again)#so i am expecting people to read too much#and/or i then am not... listening to people? or i come off like im not listening to people?#even though i rly do try to be attentive i just forget sometimes to leave space for other people to talk because i am#used to only talking to myself so much lmaoo so i think i come off like i only want to Talk At people due to how Much i share#and sometimes i probably am not as attentive in convos as i would like to be but i try to be! i just dont know if the balance is there#but i also don't rly know how to be more concise bc of that mix of not wanting to forget and also not wanting to be misunderstood#and being so excited to get contribute etc#anyway there are also a lot of social things i HAVE been neglecting by accident i am so sorry if youve sent me an ask etc#and you've gotten silence i am getting to things slowly ;-;#i just mean moreover in active conversations the way that i act is like. i always worry i am doing something wrong all the time forever#and maybe i would worry less if i could put more of my thought dump energy into observing others more attentively#to get a better read on things lol#me coming back to this post as an example bc i had another thought:#i also type rly fast and my brain goes rly fast so while i do clean up what i say typically#others might find it more convenient to be more concise due to typing slower#whereas i don't think before i type i just type as i think one to one#i lose thoughts otherwise but Thinking Before I Speak is a lost art to me rip#but then if i am talking to people irl or on voice i am so much more reserved. i ramble a lot!!#but it's easier for me to fall back
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to love someone is to heal someone
#~ art#💚 memoryshipping#ignore tags if youre just here for the art and not me going full diary mode#anyways ... this is a little personal to me#especially with how i treat her here. i think this is a direct projection of how i'm feeling right now#today has been a little harsh on me - maybe a little painful even#i'm okay now - because i resolved it. albeit harboring some bits of anger to it but its not worth fighting about anymore#its hard to say that i'm - very optimistic so to speak because it's only one pillar i just jumped over and there will be more later#and this is me coping with it and im lucky to have mustered some energy to at least express it through drawing#i havent been drawing much for myself and it makes me sad because its my source of happiness#my time for drawing is being repurposed for other stuff right now and it still is and i dont feel entirely happy doing it unfortunately#i still have many things i want to follow up on my drawing list especially in my recent interests peaking again#but i resorted for now to making something im already used to. stevaide lol fgsjsddsjjsdjkghsdjgdjkhskjghshsgsasjhjsjksdjfhsfasgs corny ass#rest assured im at a somewhat relaxed state right now. throwing boops here and there calmed me down because theres people around me#who ig thinks im cool eajdhajhd#ahh anyway
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#TAG RANT TIME#my boyfriend called and i warned him up front that im having extremely bad cramps and dont have very much energy to talk#hes been monologuing for 21 minutes#he does this all the fucking time and it genuinely really annoys me because its the SAME MONOLOGUES EVERY TIME#about how he hates his job and want to do something good with his life#and then he never does anything!!!! he turns down offers to do the exact kind of things hes always talking about wanting!!!#im in so much fucking pain and hes barely even asked me if im okay.#anyway. if youre going to complain about your life for months and months maybe do something about it. or get a therapist to talk to#more and more these days i think i need to leave this man but its fucking complicated!!!!! its complicated
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do you guys remember when Attack On Titan had a fucking Looney Tunes Babies style spin off where all the characters were in junior high and the titans were just bullies and eren was mad at them because they ate his hamburg steak and it was legitimately better than the original
#yui rambles#dont ask me why i randomly remembered#i often think about attack on titan#about how its first season was one of the most promising new shows at the time#it felt so refreshing and full of life and energy and ideas and something to say#and then you reach a certain point in the story and youre like#...huh this is weird#and you keep reading/watching and start wondering what's wrong#and then at a certain point it just hits you#and youre like woah! wait!#i get it!#the author is not a good writer!#this pacing sucks! the reveals suck!#i get it now! the beginning of the story was a fluke!#attack on titan's legacy was carried on an extremely promising intro section and a very competently made anime adaptation#but not even the sick art style and incredible action scenes could save a story so shoddily told imo#and then you reach the end and its like wow. so the thing you had to say was awful.#sorry i dont mean to swing at a hornets nest#i just think about it because when a story nosedives that hard its like. a case study for me#whatevs this is all my opinion no disrespect if you like it#but even if you like it i think you HAVE to be aware that the point being made with the story is a pretty fucking terrible one#anyway this post got fucking derailed in the tags lmao my point is attack on titan junior high was legit funny and had a better ending lmao
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For anyone else who may need to hear this today:
You will find people in your life who exactly what you can give is enough
You are allowed to set boundaries, you are allowed to not give everything
Looking after yourself means you can give more in the long run
You are enough
#putting the rant in the tags in case people find it comforting to relate#and also ahh#but without ruining the post#turns out my ex told one of my friends “im so glad you can give me that they couldnt”#were pretty sure that he meant emotional support#i put myself under stress to support him and it still wasnt enough#i did things that i was chill with doing but didnt care for and didnt have the energy/capabilities to pretend to enjoy#but it wasnt enough#two days after this he messaged to be like oh hey i miss us and i miss us being close#fuck you dude#im not mourning us youre alone in that#i dont even hate him and i know that he didnt mean bad from it#but man it got me thinking#dodged a fucking bullet#this is vaguely ace rather than aro themed#i am still both but my aceness is coming out in this post#sorry aros#ace#asexual#tried to make it vague so it fitted both though cause i feel like both groups can relate tm
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crawling out of the shadows with this as an offering
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt leonardo#rise leonardo#and for anyone that cares and reads tags#sorry#still depressed and burnt out and i wish i wouldnt be#wish the little hype this fic got actually got to me but i just look at all my writer friends who have their own fics and their own hype#and their own groups that im not a part of and get sad#thats my own fault tho#this account is dying and actually has probalby been dead since tsob ended#dont know if ill post anything new on it#just updates to this and even then i have about one more chapters worth of words in the document and dont have the energy to try anymore#im going back to my lonely little corner to burn out some more until i either delete everything or can stay logged out#but im nosy#so#one of those options is a lot more likely than the other#k!leo au#i think thats the tag#not that it fucking matters
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nothing like seeing bill cipher ship discourse on my dash in 2024 to really take me back in time. nature is healing
#ramble tag#i dont think i even had the energy for discourse in 2015 i sure as hell dont have the energy for it now#🙏 have fun you crazy kids
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Saw a comment somewhere and if I wasnt so tired my blood would be boiling but we are at a low simmer, so here I am to Bitch
I'm sorry but if your argument for (likely canon) bisexual Kim having a preference for men is her FORMER relationship with Scott I am going to beat you to death with my bat
At LEAST say it's the hopeless pining she does for him currently. Or maybe mention that she's dated 3 guys that we know of! (Which I will counter w her being gay as hell for/with 3 women, which levels out- though that's besides the point-) But if you're going to hinge it entirely on a relationship she had that started and ended in highschool I'm going to break your legs and make you sit through a deep dive of the series with me. All media. Just to reeeeeally draw it out. Painfully.
#idk why that comment made me so mad i literally do not care how nuanced people read Kim's sexuality tbh#but like. surely you can find something else to back that up with. surely. bc im gonna be real with you- even using her hopeless pining is +#+less a point towards Men Generally and more a point towards Scott Fucking Pilgrim- a man with inexplicable rizz apparently#(it's the autism /hj)#he's actually rizzless btw. also this is how you know im tired i dont think ive ever fucking uttered that word before#where was i going? idk i am gone. pine rant over maybe. unless one of you comes and sets me off again cgcjdhdf#(oh gods please dont do that i need to conserve my energy i only have so many coffee candies left and my mom isnt even here yet)#((you can do that if you want i just wont be able to answer til later and it will Gnaw))#ooc#txt#scott pilgrim#kim pine#sp comic#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim takes off#scott pilgrim vs the world#sckim#bc it's relevant idk. i feel like that tag is bone dry
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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Me sneaking into your asks with this drabble:
Disclaimer: I have yet to get a good grasp of Moze's character so this might be a bit OOC and on your side as well (sorry). I did my best. Also, this was inspired by the post you made abt telling Moze your tasks for the day | 600+ words (not proofread)
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In Moze's eyes, you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies.
You were quite literally everywhere. He'd find you talking to someone one moment before you're rushing off to do something else entirely the next. It seemed like you had quite a lot on your plate as of recently. Tasks, things you wanted to do, and so much more spinning around that mind of yours. You've told him a bit of your plans so he has a general idea. But seeing you juggling all of those tasks at once makes both admiration and concern bloom in his chest.
One time, Moze found you carrying a box filled with items. It would've been amusing to him how comical it was that the items piled so high— he could barely see you behind it. However, he did worry right after given how you almost tripped over something. He managed to catch you and the items before both came crashing all over the floor.
He insisted on helping you carry the items to wherever its destination was. It took a bit of pursuasion on his side. Convincing you that it truly wasn't a bother to him at all, and that he'd be very much glad to be of assistance to you.
"I need to get these delivered first. Then go stop by the shop to buy some things. After that…" You go on to ramble about the things you had to do to help get a better vision on what else you had to do. "Oh, no… I messed up." The smile on your face dropping at the thought that had slipped your mind until that moment. "I forgot to invite Jiaoqiu to dinner with the others—"
"It's tomorrow evening, right? He knows. I mentioned it last time when I spoke to him." Moze says with a calm tone.
You blink at him, slightly caught off-guard by the man beside you. Though it's immediately replaced with relief and gratitude. The smile on your face already back, lighting up your features once more. Infectious as always, it makes the corners of his lips tug upwards as well. A small part of him feels quite proud to have been able to help you ease your worries even by a bit.
And this is when you start noticing it.
Did you mention that you're running out of a certain skincare product, but you can't find the time to stop by the store to buy it? Moze conveniently has to stop by near the store and buys it for you. Did you also mention that you wanted to do a certain task but keep forgetting about it? He gently reminds you about it via message or verbal if he's nearby. Did you also happen to mention that you've been meaning to try out a certain desert from a cafe, but the schedule simply doesn't seem to allow you? No fear, he passes by the store to buy you the treat.
Moze doesn't see you as someone incapable of handling things by yourself. To him, he simply sees it as a way to show his care. If making a quick stop somewhere, sending you a small reminder of something you had to do that day, or even helping you out with the tasks you need to accomplish, makes you smile? Gives you a chance to take a break? Let you worry less about the things you need to do? It's worth it in his eyes.
He does his best to avoid making you feel like you're bothering or troubling him (you really aren't). Most of the time, he does them discrcetly and casually. Partially, since he's also scared that you'll think he's weird or a creep for acting like that.
Please don't think of him badly.
Moze truly means well.
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 cy!#彡 inbox.#彡 cherishing.#excuse me cy 🥹🥹🥹 you wrote a drabble based off a vague little post i made about moze 🥺🥺 HOW WILL I EVER THANK YOU 🥺🥺 that is so sweet ?! ?!#600+ words ?!?! CY !!!!!! THANK YOU ?!?????!!!!!! IM IN SHOCK /pos IM STARING AT MY SCREEN LIKE 🥹🥹🥹🥹 YOURE SO KIND YOURE SO SO SO KIND !!!!#‘you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies’ HANSNDJDN i want to be his dog 🙂↕️🙂↕️ and !! i have to say — the energy rush a#him is so real T T HE IS JUST SO FUN HES SO SWEET HES so awesome he’s so lovable — zoomies is inevitable with mr shadow guard of the yaoqin#im smiling so hard at the ‘you were quite literally everywhere’ AAAAAEEEE there is much to explore !!! THIS IS SO CUTE THOUGH IM SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#THE CARRYING THE BOX SCENE ?!???!???? this reminds me of one of previous jobs i had ajanskdkxk YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO SEE . YOU CAN PEER#AROUND THE BOX — BUT MOZE SEEING ME IN SUCH A STATE IS SO EMBARRASSING/pos omg he caught me x0x IM BRIGHT RED AT THIS THOUGHT SHSNJDCJ also#cy !!! i will say that i love your writing and you put down your thoughts ….. this is such a cute read and my heart is so soft reading this#truly truly thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write something as sweet as this for me ?!?! i am so blown away and so#thankful AND SO EMOTIONAL AND SO HAPPY oh )))): thank you thank you thank you thank you cy!!!! i adore you infinitely 🥹🥹🥹🤍🤍🤍#NOOOOO HE DOESNT NEED TO HELP ME CARRY IT ALL THE WAY THERE 🥹🥹🥹 SURELY SUCH A THING IS NOT IN HIS JOB DESCRIPTION#even if it was i would feel bad !!! T T oh my god please cy this image of him insistently that he’ll help is making me so red /pos he’s so#sweet ))): OH MY GOD AND THE RAMBLING SJSNSNDKXKKS IM REALLY SO RED AND FLUSTERED READING FHIS SKNSNDNX HES LISTENING TO IT 😭😭😭 HE IS#PERCEIVING ME 😭😭😭😭 but i do think my nervous chatter would activate in his presence — oh cy that would be so awful — to talk and talk and#talk his ear off :’) OMG OMG HE ALREADY TOLD JIAOQIU 😭😭😭 SAVIOR MOZE life saver moze i am indebted !!! TWICE NOW . THE BOX AND NOW THIS#him feeling proud ?! 🥹🥹 there is much more for him to feel proud about ! for example — how resilient he is / how strong he is / how kind he#is / how … i should not continue HIM KNOWING WHAT SKINCARE PRODUCTS I USE ????????? AND CHECKING WHEN IT RUNS LOW ??? ))))))): AND THE REMI#REMINDERS * MEAN SO MUCH TO ME OH CY ))): YOU ARE TOO TOO TOO KIND IM SO HONORED TO HAVE RECEIVED SUCH A GIFT insjdjxnj ))): cy !!!!!!!!!!#THE DESSERT …. I LOVE CINNAMON OR LEMON DESSERTS …… oh he is ))): he is too kind )): YOU!! ARE TOO KIND CY !!!!!! I WILL SOB INTO MY HANDS#BECAUSE THIS IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY AND )))): !!!! omg ))):#HE IS SO SWEET . HE MEANS WELL ???? I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE HIM I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU BOTH !!!!! i think i would genuinely burst into#tears thinking about him doing anything for me to :’) ease up some days :’) IM JUST :’) this is so thoughtful and so :’) im so incoherent a#and these tags are so messy — im just so happy and have read this like ten times over !! and go -> 🥹🥹 each and every time#thank you cy !!! ): from the very bottom of my heart!!!! you are such a skilled writer and you have such a kind heart#i saw your post about drabbles for friends and oh — im hugging you so tight — thank you for being so sweet to everyone ): i adore you so mu
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"So, whats on the agenda for todays scene zeddyyyy?"
She rolls her eyes, "Well, I thought I'd do something new, but blindfold you so you don't know what I'm going to do."
"Sure, I'm down for that!"
It lays down on the lab table into a jokingly seductive pose. "How do you want me miss scientist?"
Zed giggles a little but tries to stop it by biting her tounge between her teeth. She clears her throat, "Ahem well, bottoms off but, you can do whatever you want with the top."
It starts taking off the shorts it opted for today, wiggling a bit to get the tight latex over it's hips.
"Oh I can do whatever I want with the top hm? Well you better come over here then."
Zed rolls her eyes again, "Be serious! Or I'll gag you."
Bunny smirks, "Oh noooo, how terrible that would be."
"Oh shush," Zed says as she walks over with the blindfold. She holds it out for Bunny to look at, "It's got a custom curse of binding, if I put it on you, only I can take it off you, you okay with that?"
It nods eagerly, "That sounds so fun and so interesting, you'll tell me about how you did it after?"
"Of course! I've been dying to tell someone about it but I also wanted to keep it a surprise; I didn't know who I was going to use it on first so you'd be hearing about it even if you didnt want to honestly."
"Right I'll put it on you, and then get you layed down safely okay?"
"Got it."
Zed is gentle as she places the blindfold on, mindful of Bunnys ears and hair, ties it securely, takes a step back to admire and smiles before gently pushing Bunny to lay down.
"Now, where do I even start," Zed starts talking out loud to herself, part of why Bunny likes scenes with Zed, she speaks a lot, like it's just a subject of an experiment, which in most cases, it is. Honestly it's probably had more sex with Zed on the lab table than in a real bed.
It feels Zed pushing it's legs apart, "Oh! both today hm? Well thats more fun for me!"
Theres a moment and then Bunny can hear Zed clattering around with, something, it's not entirely sure, could be several things - or Zed just forgot where she put whatever it is shes looking for.
The noise stops and then Zed is petting at the base of its ears, Bunny practically melts at that, shes done enough experimenting that she knows exactly where to pet to make that happen.
Zed stops after a couple of minutes, deeming Bunny relaxed enough to get on with the next stage, reaching to trace the hidden seam she knows is along its chest and abdomen.
Bunny shivers at the touch, finally getting a vauge idea of what today might be about.
Its chest is open, machine guts fully on display, Zed poking at a few wires, and - Bunny thinks - taking notes about it all.
The anticipation and clinical behaviour has had it half hard this whole time and prpbably wet enough for a couple fingers straight away. Bunny shivers, arm twitching as Zed touches a certain wire, theres a pause, then she touches another wire. The specific wire shes identified as controlling some sort of pleasure (shes not exactly sure yet but more testing will be sure to help) drawing a small groan from Bunny.
Bunny feels a strange sensation on the wire, then a lot. All at once. And it's all it can focus on.
By the time it stops, Bunny is drooling slightly, and is sure its dick and hole are both leaking.
It hears Zeds voice, "This next bit might hurt."
Bunny lets out a breathless, "Bring it on."
The next thing it feels is so much more than before, it wants to grab and pull away whatever is doing this but. It can't move, it struggles. Realises it's restrained.
Fuck, tears start falling, but they're hidden by the blindfold as the panic starts to set in.
"Red red red, Zed please stop I can't, get these off please, I can't red."
The sensation stops as soon as it says the safeword, but the restraints dont come off.
"Zed let me go, let me out, I can't-"
Its still struggling, trying to fight out of the restraints.
"Hey, hey Bunny I'm trying to get them off but you need to try and stay still yeah?"
Fuck, Bunny is sobbing now, the panicked fight dissapearing as it just lays there.
The blindfold coming off is the next thing it registers, realises its free of the bindings, Zed is gently holding its hands and had coaxed it into a sitting position.
"Hey you're okay, c'mon lets get you somewhere nicer than this."
Bunny doesnt speak, just follows as zed guides it through her base to the cozy bedroom thats shared with her husbands.
Bunny still feels unsure what to do with itself and just stands in the doorway as zed busies herself with who knows what.
Bunny comes back to itself again and its sat next to Zed in the large bed, a pair of colourful boxers on - probably skizz or tangos - and Zedaph, fussing over it.
Bunny pulls its legs up to its chest and lays its head on its knees, arms wrapping around the legs.
"Sorry."
It's the first thing its said since the scene - or well the ending of it.
Zed has a slightly uncomfotable look on her face, "No, you don't need to apologise at all, its on me," she pauses, holding out some water for Bunny, which it takes.
"Was it the pain, or the restraints?"
Bunny holds up two fingers, sipping at the water.
"Right okay, is this an everytime thing or?"
"Pretty much." It shrugs.
"Can I ask why?"
Bunny doesnt really want to share but, Zed looks so earnest, so worried, it caves. But only a bit.
"Trauma stuff, y'know how it is."
Zed looks down, nods, "Yeah, I do."
She takes a deep breath and blows it out before looking up again, "Is there anyone who knows more that you'd rather be here than me? or be here as well?"
Bunny shrugs, "Not really, I think Etho vaugely knows something but I've not said anything, and from what I've heard Etho is not great at aftercare anyway."
Zed grimaces a little at that but nods, "Yeah, Etho tries but, not the best."
"Just more people in general being normal might help though? You could ask the guys to come over?"
Zed nods, pulling out her communicator, "You sure? They're pretty noisy sometimes."
Bunny smiles a little, "Yeah, I'm sure, noise is a good distraction sometimes.'
Zed sends a message and puts her communicator down, ignoring the immediate pings of responses, "They'll be here soon."
Skizz bursts into the room a fraction of a second later.
"Bunny! And Zed! I hope you're ready for cuddles!" He smiles wide, sharp teeth on display, but so unintimidating."
Bunny cant help but smile a little more as Skizz bounds over.
"Hey buddy! Ooooh you're wearing a Skizz special! The paint zags!"
"What?" Zed beats Bunny to the question.
"Well, those specific pair, those are the paint zags."
"Do you name all of your underwear?"
"No! Don't be silly! Just the ones that aren't a clear design. And I mean those *are* paint zags."
Bunny tunes out the details as it finishes off the water, waving at Impulse as he steps into the room, completely unnoticed by the other two who are either still bickering about naming underwear or the conversation has devolved because of 5 different tangents, Bunny doesn't really have the energy to care or to figure out which it is.
Impulse sits himself down next to Bunny, offering it a cookie, "From Scars, still warm."
"Still warm? You spoil me."
He gently nudges it with his shoulder, "Well, maybe you're secretly my favourite, don't tell them though." He nods his head at Zed and Skizz, who were now holding hands and she was seated in his lap, still continuing their conversation.
"Yeah, they're a bit too weird for you huh?"
That gets a laugh out of Impulse, "Yeah, maybe, at least you're normal huh?"
That gets a scoffed laugh out of Bunny.
"I mean compared to most of you hermits I probably am pretty normal, although, not sure this is normal aftercare."
Impulse shrugs, "Aftercare doesn't have to be anything specific, as long as all people involved in the scene end up feeling okay then its fine, even if it is a little unconventional."
"Mmm, I suppose," It finally takes a bite of the cookie, groaning at the wonderful tase and flopping into Impulse slightly, "Thank you so much for this."
Impulse gently puts an arm around it, "No worries," Before turning his head, "Tango stop lurking over there, and come over here."
Bunny feels the slight heat from tango as he approaches, "Hey." She waves at it.
"Hey." Bunny waves back, very halfheartedly, energy waning a lot
Tango smiles at it, you should get some sleep.
"Mmmm only if you keep my pillow warm."
"Sure."
Bunny watches through half lidded eyes as Tango snuggles himself into Impulses other side.
"You've got youre very own podcast background noiseificator to fall asleep to as well huh." She says, gesturing at the other two, who seemed to now be talking about... eggs?
Bunny nods slightly, "They're pretty good at it honestly."
"Zeds voice has always been quite soothing." Agrees Impulse.
Bunny mmms in agreement, falling into the arms of sleep.
#mine#freakbunnybot#DONT LOOK AT ME IM CRINGE#but yeah bunny doesnt liek restraints. but like. it doesnt talk abt it bc then it thinks ppl will ask. so it just never brings it up in any#way like not pos or neg. and doesnt even do it to other people.#zed feels bad abt this but its mostly bunnys fault honestly.#also what zed was doing was like. connecting the certain wires for pleasure pain ir whatever. to electricity to make the sensation constant#bunny would have liked it if not for the restraint but also. fully would have pulled it off itself if not for the restraints#like normally bunny is pretty decent with pain but that is like. so all encompassing ovrrwhelming (in a sexy way) but yeah#sorry i have to share the extra yhoughts in the tags#and yeah skz is a weirdo dont ask.#btw bunny doesnt mind that skizz was like taking all of zeds attention bc it knows that like. this was hard on zed too but it didnt have th#energy to help with zed bc of the panic attack and dissociation. so. yeagh.#sorry this is so cringe im in physical pain posting this <- being fucking dramatic.#also dont worry bunny & zed do get to havr their convo abt tbe personalised curse of binding#oh also gitl zed & he/she tango#1618 words. btw. this is great for me. yippeeee
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