#i dont even hate small talk i love it but like
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ok im almost done but it just made a huge impact on me at a time where i considered throwing myself in front of a train daily thinking i didnt matter to anyone to come back from a month long furlough and someone who i didnt know knew i existed going ^_^ YAY CAL YOURE BACK HI. just realizing that maybe i wasnt as horrible as i thought i was. that people knew me and liked me and enjoyed my presence
meanwhile at an office job its all surface level politics. i talk to one coworker about elden ring. another coworker about bucees and gas stations in texas. i sit at my computer and i make junkmail. most useless ass job in the world in fact an actively harmful job
#i dont even hate small talk i love it but like#my old coworkers at the factory i know their families. my one coworker offered to install a new lamp in my house for free.#to be fair i met my one office coworker (in her 30s) parents but thats bc she brought her parents while they were in the area#like WHAT#my current coworkers are nice but im a constant outsider#and it sucks bc i dont really see anyone but my coworkers so lmfao#it was so funny tho after coming back from furlough#and a LOT of people were glad to have me back and i was shocked#bc i really did not fucking interact with anyone unless talked to but they were like yeah we like you because you mind your own business LO#in a sea of nosy ass coworkers be on the minding your own damn business grind. my final advice.#OK IM DONE
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why are you starving your farmer's son to death. feed him
#grits teeth. none of you know him like i do#a dude who grew up with food and hard labor is going to be big. come on#im really truly not being specific bc this 'vision' of him just seems to persist endlessly.#its still actually just homophobia and fatphobia imo grow up make him big#he hates clothes and loves sunbathing and food(TREATS!) and does excersize 24/7. did we watch the same show#like that's not. donut. who is that. that's some guy you invited#everyone knows that a group of guys whos story revolves around being 'wrong' and unwanted#would primarily be made of a cishet skinny white male cast#obviously of course#the sunlamp joke made me remember something#i WISH i could go play lamia donut right now i need to do something and instead im throwing up (not related to this)#(but it is very funny to pretend soft uwu gay white blond skinny donut is the source of my woe)#im going to be tormented forever. nobody even cares about my phd#IVE BEEN HERE FOR 8 MISERABLE YEARS!!!!! !#oh god ive actually for real been obsessed with donut for 8 years#listen im talking right now inthe middle of possibley having food poisoned myself but listen listen listen#literally not my first time going on about it#he likes treats. he works out. you cannot deny he is big#i can't control you not putting some melanin on him bc i have nothing for that aside from his tanning#i PERSONALLY do not think he's white on top of that#but he is in no universe skinny#do i think he is as fat as as grif? probably not#he's definitely got enough muscle to carry some crazy shit compared to a city boy though#think actual animals (50lbs+) and bags of concrete (which can be 80+lbs a pop) and all the fucking.#donut cares SO MUCH about doing the things hes told to do. he can get it “Wrong” but how the fuck did he memorize sarge's plans otherwise#small donuts are not donuts those are holes#that is a sex object#kind of literally. lol.#i personally really dont like turning donut into a sex object from the fandom-eye view bc of how hard hes implied to be a SA victim
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Being aromantic and finding that out in ur 20s is soooooooo funny bc I met the 3 people I consider my soulmates (one of whom is now my qpp) in october of 2016, and both before and after this i dated a few people but as i grew closer and closer w this group and also came into my gender and sexuality over the yrs, id sometimes wonder why i didnt crave romantic fulfillment anymore, and not fantasize about having a long term bf or anything. It didn't really worry me? Like, I wasn't concerned about it, but I would go like huh wonder what's up w that. Oh well not my problem!, every now and then
And then thru making friends w a bunch of arospec folks I was finally like oohhhhhhhh it's because my emotional fulfillment needs are already met and these people and our friendship is an intrinsic part of my being and i love them more than i can ever hope to describe. Got it!
#and z speaks#its not like i didnt know what aromanticism was! i even id'd as ace for awhile! im not anymore but i was on those fringes right#and its bc im aro in the weirdest way possible#bc i loveeee love and romance and i enjoy dating! sort of!#im one of those ppl that skips right to the old marroed couple phase bc i Hate the casual small talk phase#and i get crushes on my friends a lot bc i have so much love in my heart to give#its just not like. romantic!#if youve read the scholomance trilogy just look at el. thats me#we're aro in the same way#ANYWAY im just thinking about non traditional love and affection and how id let my friend silver do martial arts on me if they werent at the#other end of the state#and how in love i am w my qpp. and my embarrassing crush on [REDACTED bc i KNOW nos js gonna see this. no one can know] is#the worst part about that crush is its probably like glaringly obvious to them and i dont care That much bc having crushes is fun#i dont intend to act on it im just vibing#but the thought. that they might know. little mortifying#if u read all of these tags ur owed financial compensation
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GOOD MORNING (now evening)
today i awoke and chose violence. i wanna talk a bit about the AU @bishicat and I have. ~inspired~ by the 5 songs, 3 outfits taggame!
EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD
Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep [...] We will find you It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the Most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody wants to rule the world [...] There's a room where the light won't find you Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down When they do, I'll be right behind you I'm so glad we've almost made it So sad they had to fade it Everybody wants to rule the world [...] I can't stand this indecision Married with a lack of vision Everybody wants to rule the— Say that you'll never, never, never, never need it
name of the AU, basically it's about change, within oneself, within a friend group, within the world. and about accepting that change - or fighting against it. each member of the trio (or V³ as we like to call em) thinks their way of living is the right one. V(alerie) is hellbent on not backing down and staying right where she is V(incent) thinks getting away from the city and the people who hurt him is the best choice V(ivienne) wants more from life, money, fancy clothes and power
TOWNIE
There's a party and we're all going And we're all growing up Somebody's driving and he will be drinking And no one's going back 'Cause we've tried hungry and we've tried full and Nothing seems enough [...] I'm holding my breath with a baseball bat Though I don't know what I'm waiting for I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be
name of the pairing for V³ - the song is about growing up and changing. (AGAIN) bishi actually picked that one and i was on board right away, it was important to me that we pick a song we both like (the more rock-y feel of that song also helped lmao)
RYAN & DAVE
Ryan and Dave are rabble rousin', teenage cousins Difference is Dave has an off switch, and Ryan doesn't 20 years later now Dave behaves rank and file And Ryan's a burnt out adult, last gasp, wild child
guess what this one is about! CHANGE! (are you tired of it yet?) mostly it is about viv picking a different path than v though - one stayed exactly where she has always been while the other chose to change. ALSO in the music video they are DOGS and we love a dog motif
6:26 in the morning, didn't need alarm I couldn't sleep a wink, I'm betting my whole farm Left Dave's place at eight, just drove, didn't really talk I shook his hand and popped the door to make the walk Applied for admission at the detox shop Got to the door it said open, ten o'clock It's freezing out, no way that I can make it to ten Look back at my truck at my only real friend
some time ago we talked about viv helping v on her healing journey (girlie cannot catch a break from being a babysitter even after she got johnny a body LMAO) and even though v never ends up at rehab (maybe that will change) it still fits pretty well.
NEVER LET ME DOWN AGAIN
I'm taking a ride with my best friend I hope he never lets me down again He knows where he's taking me Taking me where I want to be I'm taking a ride with my best friend [...] We're flying high We're watching the world pass us by Never want to come down Never want to put my feet back down on the ground [...] See the stars, they're shining bright (never let me down) Everything's alright tonight (never let me down)
V³ had a pretty big fight at one point. viv was always going to leave for arasaka but v never understood or accepted it. they argued for hours and when vincent didn't chose her side, v stormed off to go on a weeklong bender. when she returned the flat was empty, both her siblings had left -and betrayed her. naturally, viv also felt betrayed by her childhood friend, all she asked for was support but instead she got called a traitor. i like to imagine this song plays on the radio one day after their reunion
THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT
When we were young, the future was so bright The old neighborhood was so alive And every kid on the whole damn street Was gonna make it big and not be beat
Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn The kids are grown up, but their lives are worn How can one little street swallow so many lives?
TO ME this is THE streetkid song but it hits hard especially in this universe. as i mentioned before V³ thinks they picked the right path, they aren't gonna be beat (and honestly vincent is the only one who succeeded). viv had a good run but then she got kicked from the corp, lost her newest best friend, DIED and now has a whole other person stuck in her skull. v was stubborn, was homeless for a bit and is overall in a bad way (but then again, that's the only way she knows how to live so it's not as bad TO HER)
AS ABOVE, SO BELOW
THIS IS A BIG ONE SO BUCKLE IN FOLKS bishi and i had been talking about a personal quest for v and we ended up on this: one day they are driving somewhere while listening to the radio when a host teases a special treat! they have exclusive rights to the music of NC born and bred band Rotten! (yeah you guessed it! V's band) naturally this fills her with pure rage and viv knows this isn't going to end well (babysitting time!) v knows exactly who did this and is hellbent on rectifying this (there is more but yall are gonna have to wait for the day i decide to write it lmao) As Above, So Below is the name of the job! it is a song that v wrote but only she knows about it. while viv wasn't a band member she was there for it's founding and a few first concerts, she filmed a lot of it and even ran the merch stand a bit
I won't lie, it's quite temptin' Your handouts and your bones I won't lie, they're quite empty Your promises and your stones
If you sell, they'll buy Don't feel, just sign If you sell, they'll buy Don't think, stay blind
Give me the control Just sign on the dotted line Give me the control He whispered softly Give me the control You're crawling inside my mind Give me the control Don't you fight me?
As above, so below What you reap is what you sow What you give comes back three fold As above, so below
YES the song is about v not wanting to sign with a label and it is her final fuck you to the world of music. in reality that song is incredibly underproduced since by the time it was recorded the band had already broken up. v did ALL of it: singing, instruments, songwriting. editing magic made it come to life. depending on how it ends (yes there are multiple outcomes) viv will receive a shard with ALL of rotten's music, including THIS unreleased song and even some backstage footage from way back in the day when viv was still around.
See I've danced with the enemy We have secrets, no one knows Yeah, I've danced with my enemy I wore her skin and her clothes
honourable mention because this part is very viv coded
instead of outfits i present you! some soul crushing quotes! i hope you enjoy! :3c
#sammy says shit#sammy writes shit#i hope this makes sense to anyone besides me and bishi LMAO#feel free to ask me stuff if yall are interested#au: everybody wants to rule the world#p; townie#oc:v#p; rise rebel resist#listen i love tumblr formatting#but sometimes the small font just doesnt wanna stay#which infuriates me#i dont even like using it tbh because of how much i hate it myself#but i think its 100% more readable for lyrics than it is for regular posts#lemme know if you dont like the small font there either#anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk (infodumping)#I FORGOT THE READ MORE IM SORRY MOBILE USERS
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tanaaj is such a tragic character "i do everything right nobody has ever been as good or correct about the rule of saint leah as i am. unrelated but why do i feel so bad and guilty and lonely all the time?" well for starters you live in fully automated luxury catholicism so that's gonna contribute to the issue for sure
#'ive never hoarded anything in my life not even my child!'#tragically you were not taught that love is not a finite resource that has to be equally distributed to everyone in the world#in case it runs out#this is a FASCINATING book. and i'm also reading cultish the language of fanaticism at the same time#so it's like. wow none of you people are escaping the systematic self-destruction in pursuit of the nebulous holy! good luck !!#infact. i think i kind of hate this book. in a way where having seen much of religious fanaticism#i get viscerally uncomfortable reading leah and tanaaj. like i CANNOT talk to them and take apart their reasoning. on account of#they're in the book and i'm just reading it. but i want to SO badly#the actual star#i dont hate it . it's really good. it's just an extremely demanding read for me i guess#what if the utopian communist future still had sin and fundamentalism. and Cancel Culture enshrined into the mutual aid network#i just read the bit where tanaaj has to sit vigil with this dying sedente woman. and she is SO MAD. at this elderly lady for...#staying in one house all her life and loving a partner enough to forgo social convention to live with them? raise a child together?#and tanaaj is like. she was HOARDING. this small location. and those two people. thank GOD her child saw the light and left home at 16#meanwhile there's nothing to imply the old lady wouldn't have happily shared her area with any travelers coming through#tanaaj is just fundie. and reading her perspective makes me soooooo insane#she also manages to be transphobic in a genderless nonbinary bodymod future. where everybody has a dick and a vag.#she gets mad about people who only want one set of genitals or want to reorganize their sex characteristics. in Unorthodox Ways#meanwhile halfway across the world but getting closer niloux is like. my girlfriend is a transwoman on purpose in genderless bodymod world#and she is also your ex girlfriend. probably on account of your insanity. i can see where i walked in past lives and it's real
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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Love stumbling on random ship hate on pinterest when it's something I never look for /sarc
#2 and counting#i rather laugh at it#they be like 'who ships this??' 'people ships this???' 'what is wrong with people shipping this???' and you know what.#its not even a 'problematic' ship. its two best friends. thats like. one of the most basic type of ships. why do they have hate for it??#even if they dont ship it. like. leave them alone no?#dont talk about ship lots exactly bc im scared ppl would react like this. in retrospect i should do my thing and assert myself. but ive got#my ao3 account for that lol#a-ny-wayyy sorry for this small rant needed to get it out#*the sarcasm is for the 'love' part not the 'i never look it up'#i never partake in ship hate /srs
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him
#bro has NOTHING he has NOTHING going on im tired of pretending hes deep#he was supposed to die in shogun assasination . i gotta live my truth#after all that arc was supposed tp be the last one but then they stretched it out#if he died there i wouldve been chiller with him but bro is STILL alive and the utsuro thing is just. weird#i dont think he really makes sense#like everybody else DOES which is what gets me#anyway i dont like to complain bc out of ALL OF THE BULL i have suffered as shonen watcher this is nothing#but i go into the tag and its all “ooh takasugi takasugi we all love takasugi” im sooooo tired of this guy please can we talk about anyone#can we talk about like. kagura. hijikata. gintoki???? shinpachi??? kaguras family??? KATSURA??? please please im begging yalll pleaseeeee#tbf its like the same three poeple in there i didnt realize that the fandom was so small but STILL#like. no hate to anyone that likes him but personally i find him both boring and inconsistent as a character....sorry...#it gets me especially because literally everyone else is . really interesting? except him?#if everyone else was not rlly THAT interesting and takasugi remained the same i dont think i'd mind so much but like.#sorry im just like............hmm............#maybe ill watch him die and i'll be all “oh nooooo taksugi nooo” but like. thats highly unlikely#sorry did not mean to rant so much but like...........hes so overrated ugh#he doesnt even have cool sword powers or cool outfit or even something gross going on. hes not even a little freak hes too normie
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I read your latest gunsmith fanfic and I really loved it!! 🥺💖 I recognized so many of your Tumblr posts in it (they were like little Easter eggs). And there were so many banger lines in it…it made me laugh so many times! 😂 Thanks for writing AND sharing it. 😌✨
P.S. I love the title…it describes them sooo well!
P.P.S. I’m shy too but uhhh if you ever wanted to talk about gunsmith/the Rockets then send me a message on Tumblr!!! Would enjoy hearing your thoughts on their pairing!! Okay bye!!! 🙈
GONNA CRY RN 😭😭😭😭😭
#SRRY THIS IS SO PATE#LATE#WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET A WEE TOO MUCH METHINKS#srsly this made me so happy to see EEEEK thank you omgg 😭😭😭😭#i feel so bad when ppl compliment me bcs i either take forever to dial up the fact that a compliment even happened#or dial up a response that isnt just THANK YOU#😭😭😭 overthinking I HATE U!!! RAGGGHH#ughh this is genuinely SO nice detailed compliments make me I SANE#IT'S SO INTRICATE AND NICE. i feel like im holding a piece of fine china#cradling u !!!!! i am !!#MY LITTLE TED TUMBLR EGGS 😭😭#banger lines... i am approaching you...#DONT EVER BE SHY WITH ME !!!! WE ARE HOUSTONLINGS! WE ARE SMALL BUT LARGE !!!!#feel free to talk to me AMY time abt ANY thing!!!!!!!#gunsmith.... 😼#that shipname is so silly sounding to me it's so them#WRAGGGHH im glad u liked the fic sm!!!!! i have an audience of like five ppl and i LOVE them ALL#my oompaloompas#i would take 4 quarters over 50 pennies any day#enough talk of My fic tho...#we must talk abt... Yours 😾 . . .#im Waiting 😾 . ...#ted tumbunity things#when i got this ask i stopped everythinf and actually awed it was so happiness!! full of joy! me !!!!! THANK U
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"babes i'd get you mcr merch before getting my own lmao" literally wtf did i do to deserve this girl
#'think of it as a reconciliation gift' BUT IM THE ONE WHO FUCKED UP OUR FRIENDSHIP WHAT DO YOU MEEAAAAN#im really glad to just have her back in my life and she caught me so off guard with the whole mcr thing#bc she said it feels wrong for her to go without me bc mcr was always My Thing and im like 'lol im poor anyway its fine'#so she said she'd get me merch and i was like 'oh you dont have to really'#and then she said THAT#and im like *through tears* 'bro what the fuck'#and now im panicking a little bit bc i feel like i should do something nice for her too but i dont want it to seem like im#just trying to be even?? bc i know that's not what shes doing shes just genuinely thinking 'oh theyre his favourite band'#and i do still remember all the things she used to love and be into but at the same time maybe her interests have changed!!#maybe she's not BTS-posters-all-over-the-walls and spider-man-rug-on-her-bedroom-floor anymore#maybe she hates anime now#maybe she sold all of her gaming shit#i dont know!!#wait i could ask her#but see now it feels like the catch-up-small-talk phase has passed us and it'll just be weird if im like#'so. what are you into these days other than cars?'#or maybe im overthinking it! probably#maybe when she comes to town next month i can catch up w her#captain speaks
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except that im mentally dead, i’m good
#i know its my concerta crash 80% but man being outside of my comfortzone for hours#does things to me too. like clockwork the mental exhaustion hits at 15 and its like someone pulled the plug#brain stopped working properly sorry only simple words used for me now i cant process#i got praise at work today tho so that made me feel too happy....#its deppressing how happy i am to hear anything encouraging or someone saying i do good#not hearing any of that growing up just made it something so major for me now#i'm going to be so fucking dead friday tho. hate how much energy goes away from me even if i just do small things#i know its my brain and how it works......... but my god...... i'd like an 'full energy battery' thats not normal peoples like 50%#cant tell if its my period thus my hormones speaking or if im in an episode#i think im just so fucking lonely haha....... i always feel that way but since moving on my own its bad#and the last moth its been worse too.... idk man. medication making me feel fine but also im like (: i need love and closeness#doesnt help that all my fave people have been away for diffrent reasons so i just feel lonely#not that im helping the matter bc im not contacting or telling anyone bc that would be out of line and bad so im just#here as usual i suppose? can still not get passed the idea that i exsist outside others needs for me#stuck in the mindset of always having to put others first and do whatever they want and idk how to start. im already an#big enough problem for people i dont want to make it worse for anyone dealing with me#miranda talking shit#negative#???
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lesbian laurie strode is an especially important headcanon even tho in the context of halloween 2018 (knowing she was not the best mother she could have been to karen and has two failed marriages behind her) is a bit of a bittersweet one. but i like to think that somewhere along the way in the reboot trilogy she comes to better understand that part of herself
#primarily working under the thinking that even tho she loves her family#the 'solution' for her trauma in '78 was everyone telling her to just 'try and live a normal life' i.e. get married and start a family#and on top of still being horrifically scarred from the original halloween that's just NOT who she was#and even though she tried really hard to be who she was told she could be it just kept not working#and the shame of 'failing' in that sense makes her feel like shit about her memories of '78 (textually) and her sexuality (subtextually)#and look i dont DISLIKE frank as a character (i think he's actually quite a nice guy) but we're ignoring his role in kills + ends here#especially since i dislike the small trend of pairing finals girls w cops AND i hate that they retconned the ending of '78 in kills#to put more focus on a cop and (inadvertently) exclude laurie from the ending of her own initial story#anyway. kind of just needed to talk that one out for my own purposes
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Just heard about Sonic 3 sorry for my loss
#talking#mumbles#sonic 3#i was talking to my brother about it and im so bummed#the sonic movies have been ok.... but just ok#the first one was good enough but cop dad was weird. i also hate the amount of exposition unrelated to reality#also if they were going the sonic adventure route#why???? do they start him in an alt reality????? like start him as a woodland hedge hog who steals chili dogs from a school football field#we dont need that much exposition because most of us know who sonic is already to a degree#but these movies are being made for children + their parents... not the people who actually know and love sonic#theyre being made for investors and executives who havent changed their demographic focus in 15 years#idk it makes me sad that sonic and mario are being draaged thru the mud#they could make something really excellent if they just understood that these franchises have a 30+ year legacy#like. most people seeing these movies are seeing them because they know and like sonic#but instead they appeal to small children like theyve never heard of him#when they could make this a teen/adult film and make so much money theyd drown in it#the merch they would sell would be crazy.... they could go from forced buying of parents to active purchases from teens and young adults#hell they could go the boxlunch store route and advertise to older adults too#sonic has such a rich history with many different plots to play off of. so does mario. and yet they choose the most bland thing they can#because its the safe option? is it even that way anymore?#i really think people who make movies dont know who they make movies for anymore
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𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After breaking up with your boyfriend of four years, you’re left heartbroken and desperate to leave it all behind. But as fate would have it, just as you’re about to walk out the door of his house, you run into his fatherㅡ the man who’s always lingered at the edges of your mind. the next sensible thing to do is fuck him.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: pwp, bf's dad joel miller x f! reader, short description of toxic rs, fight scene, afab reader, i dont know if this is categorized as cheating :p , age gap, fingering f receiving, joel has a huge one but we alr know!, dirty talk, pet names, p in v unprotected, creampie, slight slapping and hairpulling.
✿ 🪽 𓈒 ﹫𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 ..\ ♰ i have been neglecting you cute freaks, but i am here to feed you. behold! boyfriend's dad joel miller smut! around 2.6k words, so it's pretty short, but i hope you love it. not proofread!!!!! okay baiiii 😎🫶🏻
The fight tears through the house like a hurricane, each word leaving wounds too deep. "You never listen to me!" you yell, your voice raw and trembling. Your chest aches, your throat burns, but the word vomit won’t stop pouring out. "Four years, and it’s like I’m shouting into a void! Do you even care about us?"
"Do you even fucking hear yourself?" he fires back, pacing the room like he can’t bear to stand still. "God, all you do is pick fights! You always need something to be wrong. What the actual fuck?"
"Because something is wrong!" Your voice cracks, and the tears come faster now, hot and humiliating. You hate how small you feel, how desperately you want him to care. "I’ve been fighting for this, for you, and all you do is act like it’s a burden!" He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. "Maybe it is. Maybe you are." The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your breath catches, and for a moment, the room feels impossibly still. You don’t want to cry anymore, but the tears fall anyway, blurring your vision as you step back. "Fine," you whisper, your voice trembling. "If that’s how you feel, then we’re done. I’m done." He freezes, his expression shifting to something almost regretful— but not enough to stop him. "Fuck this." He grabs his keys from the counter and storms out without another word. The door slams behind him, the sound echoing in the quiet house.
For a moment, you just stand there, arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you try to hold in the sobs threatening to break free. The silence feels suffocating, pressing in on you from every angle. You can’t stay here. You need to leave.
You grab your bag and wipe your face as best you can, hands still shaking. You tell yourself you’re fine, that the fresh air will help. But as you turn the corner into the foyer, you collide with something solid— someone solid. "Whoa there," a low voice drawls, steadying you with hands firm and sure. Your heart stutters as you look up and see Joel, your now ex-boyfriend's father.
Your breath catches in your throat. His hand is on your arm, warm and grounding, as his dark eyes search your face. His presence is like a balm, so different from the storm you just walked out of. He’s all quiet strength and rugged edges, his salt-and-pepper beard only making him look more like someone carved out of the earth itself. "Hey, sweet girl," he says, his tone warm and laced with that familiar twang. "What’s got you all worked up? You alright?" The sound of his voice is enough to break you all over again. You shake your head, the tears spilling over despite your best efforts to hold them back. You try to answer, but your words falter. All you can do is nod, though you know you’re far from alright. Not when his thumb is brushing lightly over your flesh, not when his scent— warm, woodsy, familiar— makes your knees fall weak. You can’t look at him, can’t look at the steadiness in his eyes or the way his hands ground you when you feel like you’re falling apart.
"Hey now," he says softly, pulling you into a hug before you can protest. His arms wrap around you, strong and safe, and for the first time all night, you don’t feel like you’re about to shatter. "C’mere, sweet thing. You gotta talk to me, mkay? What happened?" You press your face into his chest, breathing in hus smell that makes you feel like you’re home, even though you know you shouldn’t.
It’s absurd, really. You’ve always known he was handsome, but standing this close, it hits you differently. You’ve always noticed him in ways you shouldn’t, caught yourself glancing too long, wondering too much. And now, with tears still wet on your cheeks and your heart in pieces, he feels like the only steady thing left in the world.
"It’s over," you mumble against his shirt, your voice muffled but thick with emotion. "I broke it off with him. For r-real this time..." Joel pulls back just enough to look at you, his hands settling on your shoulders as his brow furrows. "You and him?" he asks gently, but you could tell he wasn't quite sure in your answer. "You sure ‘bout that?"
"Y-yeah..." You nod, your throat tight. "So you don’t have to... act nice anymore. You don’t have to pretend like you like m-me or care or whatever. It’s done now..." His expression shifts, confusion flickering across his face before something warmer takes its place. His lips part slightly as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
"Sweetheart," he says, his voice dipping lower, softer, like a secret meant just for you. "What the hell gave you the idea I don’t like you?" You blink up at him, stunned. "I just—"
"Little lady," he interrupts, leaning closer, his voice growing rougher, "it’s damn near impossible not to like you." Your breath catches as his thumb brushes over your cheek, his stare unflinching, as he examines your tear-stained face. There’s something in his eyes you’ve never noticed before—something unguarded, like he’s been holding it back for years. "Sweet thing like you," he murmurs, his lips quirking into the smallest of smiles. "Anyone with half a brain’d like you. But me? Hell, darlin’. I’ve liked you since the day I met you."
You step back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze fully, searching his face for any hint of pity, of kindness given out of obligation. "You don’t need to lie to me," you say, voice trembling. It feels like your heart is spilling out of you, breaking open right here in front of him. "Not just to make me feel better..."
Joel’s brow furrows, his dark eyes softening, and for a moment, neither of you speaks. A thread holds stretched taut between you. He doesn’t drop his hands from your shoulders, doesn’t let you pull away any further. Instead, he tilts his head slightly, studying you like you’re the most important thing in the world right now, like he’s trying to figure out how to put the pieces of you back together.
"What reason would I have to lie to ya now that you ain't with my sorry ass boy?" His voice is low, almost a whisper, but it carries a shiver down your whole body. You swallow hard, shaking your head. "I don’t know. I just—" You stumble over your own tongue.
Joel exhales slowly, his lips pressing into a thin line as his eyes bore into yours. simmering, waiting to swallow you whole. "Darlin’," he murmurs, "Let me show you then." Before you can even think, he leans in.
The world falls away the moment his lips meet yours. It’s soft at first, hesitant, like he’s giving you a chance to stop him if this isn’t what you want. But when you don’t pull away and when you melt into him instead, your fingers clutching at his shirt, he deepens the kiss, large hands sliding from your shoulders to your waist, pulling you closer.
His lips are warm and sure, washing away any heartbreak you might've felt.
When he pulls back, his forehead rests gently against yours, his breaths mingling with your own. "Am I lyin'?" Your chest tightens, the tears welling up again, but this time they’re different. They’re not the tears of heartbreak—you’re not even sure what they are, only that they feel a little like hope.
"Mister Miller," you breathe, his name dancing on your puffy lips. He smiles, soft and a little sad, brushing a thumb along your cheek. "I got you, sweet girl. You just let me." and you crumble completely. with no hesitation, he picks you up, taking you to the nearest bedroom, where he closes the door behind.
it felt wrong. it was wrong. but the way he looked looming over, you got your head spinning in all the right ways. the bed pooled under you, sheets rustling as you watched joel discard part of his clothes. you nip at your lower lip, scooting your body upward to remove the pants you had on. in mere seconds, both of you are naked, gasping, and holding onto each other like nothing else mattered.
You finally get to see joel fully naked and you can't quite understand how a man his age looks the way he does, and how he's still single, given the package he's been blessed with. "you can stop starin' now. you wanna get me shy?" joel teases, his shaft now on full view for you to gawk at. you're taken by surprise when he so easily pulls you down towards him.
he trailed kisses down your chest like flowers fall from cherry trees in the spring, your body reacting in ways you didn’t know were possible. "Please hurry..." and he chuckles, maybe proud maybe amused to see you this desperate. "'m sorry, darlin'" You purr under his touch, wrapping around him like he's a lifeline. his lips crash against yours again, rough palm slipping into your wet panties. you gasp, the feeling so strange yet so familiar. he lets go of your lips, thick fingers working their way inside of you. Joels eyes meet yours, and he curls his digits, speed picking up. the sounds youㅡ your pussy made, were pure music to him, constant encouragement to go harder, faster, loving the way you looked crumbling onto his fingers. "got such a pretty pussy. Sure you ok with an old man ruin it for anyone else?" he asked it as if it was the least absurd thing he could say right now. you nod your head profusely. "atta girl. knew you were the obedient kind first time I saw ya."
"You gonna come?" Almost mocking you, but you could bot form the proper words. You just looked deep into his glinting eyes as your hand made its way to his hardened crotch. "P-pleasee..." Joel almost loses himself, but he's steady with his movements. "Wanna come on my cock, hm? is that what you beggin' for?" your folds drip and clench around him deliciously, you don't want it to end. and when you're almost there... he stops. you whine in protest but you're quickly put back in your place with a firm tug at your hair. "You take what I give you, girl. Now ass up." you comply. in a second, your back is facing him, red cheeks now hidden into his pillow. you try to balance yourself up with one arm, but he grabs you by the wrist.
"Spread 'em." And you do just that, pulling at your flesh. like an auction. only it's you presenting your cunt for fucking. "Fuck, look at that..." he tuts, gathering some of your juices on his pulsing tip, dragging it up and down your puffy lips. "Pretty girl. She cryin' for me, baby?" a string of fain 'yesyesyes' reaches his ear. hes quiet for a bit but the moment he pushes the tip inside you feel your knees buckle, all the strength you had left into your arms fluttering away. you fall face first into the mattres under you as joel pushes down your lower back. it hurts, but the pain is delicious. your moans feel the room, the occasional slap to your ass interrupting them. Joel is strong, fast and brutal, leaving you no room to breathe, fucking so deep into you you're sure he's way past your bellybutton. "T-takin' it so well, pretty girl, so well.." your skin burns where joel touched it, whole head fuzzy and empty. "pleasepleaseplease" as the whole bed shakes and strums to his movements.
your back arches as waves of pleasure break over your body like water on a shore. your head was spinning, heart pounding, as his whole weight dominated over you. "That's it, baby, take it." his thrusts are rough, each hit making your body bounce, the urgency as he hit that very spot each timeㅡ your whole insides burning, too cock drunk to talk or respond, other than some pathetic whines that perfectly accompanied the wet sounds your pussy made. "been dreamin' about havin' you like this, baby. look at herㅡ" joel throws his head back, delivering a harsh thrust, the pain quickly melding into pleasure. "gonna come, hm?" he's stern and rough with his request. "hhhaㅡ y-yes, plea-se..." You don't know if you're crying because it feels too good or because of how long you've waited for this, no matter how unforgiving this could be.
eyes shot open when he roughly yanks your hair, your skin slapping on his being to only sound you can faintly make out in your dazed state. you let your whole body go, tongue lulled out as he takes out on you anything he might've been feeling. you were at his mercy, your moans irrefutable. your stomach flips and churns as that familiar feeling pools again in your lower tummy, and you were chasing it, crying. from what, you didn't quite know. maybe because you've never been fucked this good or maybe because it'll be over too soon.
the room was stuffy. "o-oh myㅡ god!" You yelp when joels speed picks up, shocked that he can go that fast, considering you've heard him multiple times complaining about his bad back. "shitㅡ i gotta come, baby. you gonna let me do it in ya? huh?" You nod your head so, squeezing around him like a ring, and he rewards you with a slap to your ass. "fuckin' slut." he laughs through breathy moans. you're holding on for dear life, reaching for anything your fingers can grasp at this moment. you're sure the neighbors are having a blast seeing the whole house shake. "that's it, girl. take itㅡ c'mon..." with a few more pumps his hips come to a halt, whole body trembling as he comes ropes inside of you. you let go, bliss washing over you, the ringing in your ears covering the soft curses escaping Joel's lips. steadying himself, he pulls out, voice cracking as he speaks again. "fuuck... baby, look at her." he smiles crooked, watching intently as his come drips out of you, cascading down to your thighs. you lick your lips, looking back and right up at him whilst spreading your legs wider.
"Don't do that. think I don't have it in me to fuck you again?"
you tease, "i don't know. do you?" and he laughs, pushing inside of you again, watching as your face contorts in pleasure. "Careful, girl."
you wonder when your boyfriendㅡ i mean exㅡ will come back home.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal smut#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal fanfic#joel miller fic#joel tlou#joel x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#boyfriends dad ! joel miller
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#“mental health awareness” is a joke#literally everytime ive tried reaching out to somone theyve. Left or went#“well damn that sucks. sorry dude” and didnt offer anything else#i understand the idea that other people have shit going on#but i try not to come out the gate saying i have real issues with suicidal ideation. self isolation#and general negative thoughts about myself that are. straight up not helpful#this is why i fucking hate when people talk about their friends or loved ones like#“ooh they were so nice and funny tho. they seemed so happy :(”#bitch no one listens when we DO reach out#nothing feels appropriate as an oppener#ive literally been told that other people have their own problems too#like okay man#im literally battling for my fucking life here. sorry to hear your life is also stressful#i know for my personal experience. im NICER to people who make small comments about being sad#or if someone were to approach me personally. id try to make them feel better!!#what the fuck!!!! What The Fuck!!!!#why is my life a black fucking hole#i dont even have that sweet curteousy of friends who dote on me at all
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