#i dont even hate small talk i love it but like

[b3ach-bunn7]

MY KIND OF WOMAN

Touya is the son of your fathers greatest business rival. You’re supposed to hate him, but you definitely dont.

No quirks, forbidden romance

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Touya Todoroki looks good tonight.

You feel guilty the second the thought enters your brain, like your father might be hearing it. He doesn’t want you talking to guys, much like any father, but if there’s any person in the world he’d kill you for even looking at, it’s Touya, the son of his rival company’s owner.

You’re not even sure what it is your fathers do. Something about finance, computers, science. All you know is that it’s a filthy business, and the Todorokis and Tanakas had been at each other's throats for years. If there was one name that had been run through the dirt in your house, it was Todoroki. Enji had done this, he’d stolen this client, taken this deal. You didn’t really care. All you knew was that you were supposed to hate them all, so you did. Especially Touya, because he was next in line to take over the company, and according to local rumours, he was as misbehaved as they come. Which you were supposed to care about, apparently.

But then you actually met him. And you don’t think you hated him at all.

It was, funnily enough, at a company party. Some firm that both sides of this inane war partnered with, and your dad had forced you to go. So you did, in a little black dress and a perfect smile as you walked around with him like the good daughter you were. You greeted the people you were supposed to greet. You smiled at the old ladies who complimented your unblemished skin and laughed at all the weird comments his too old coworkers made. You only finally got away under the guise of using the bathroom. Truthfully, you took to walking around the place they’d rented out, an old auditorium, peering into the empty rooms. They were mostly filled with boxes, extra chairs and storage. But there was one room, with wide windows and boxes of stage equipment, that piqued your interest.

Because it was in that room that you saw Touya. 

He had dark black hair that fell over his eyes, sleeves rolled up while the suit jacket he was supposed to be wearing was abandoned on a chair to the side. He had cracked open a window, and was deftly blowing the smoke from his cigarette out of it. He must have heard your heels clicking against the floor, because as he turned to face you, you noticed the piercings on his eyebrow and septum and his lip. And you also noticed that he was handsome. In an alluring, he’d probably make you fall in love with him then leave you, sort of way. 

You had heard rumours about Touya. Everyone had, to be honest. Your town was small and overridden with gossip, both in your age demographic and your parents. The stuff you’d heard about the man in front of you should’ve been more than enough to steer you away, that and all your fathers warnings. But the party was boring, and you were still a little pissed at your dad for making you come, so you decided your definitely entertain this.

He tilted his head, and the cigarette burned between his fingers.

“I know you. You’re Tanaka’s daughter.” His voice was low and deep, rumbling in his chest as he eyed you.

You nodded, taking another step in the room. “In the flesh. I’m not supposed to be talking to you.” You smile.

Touya’s lips curled into a smile. “Shame.” He took another puff of his cigarette. “You just going to stand there then?”

You walked forward until you were next to him. You pointed at the cigarette. 

“You got another?”

He hummed. “No. We can share, though.”

He held it out to you, and you took it easily, taking a long slow drag. You sighed, blowing the smoke out the window.

“We basically just kissed.” 

You shot him an amused glance. “Are you twelve?”

“No. Eighteen. Just like you.” 

Touya crossed his arms on the ledge of the window. Like that, the setting sun casted shadows across his face, the flattering blue of his eyes almost glowing as he turned to look at you.

You leant against the wall, avoiding eye contact. “Should I be concerned that you know that?”

“No. I’m sure you know as well as I do how much our fathers love talking about each other.”

You snorted a laugh. “God, he’d kill me if he saw me with you right now.” 

Touya pouted. “I’m not that bad. I’m nice. I’m even sharing it with you.” He reached out his hand to grab the cigarette and you passed it to him, your fingers brushing.

“Mhm. I'll be sure to tell him how kind you were to smoke with me.” You nodded sympathetically, and he grinned something dangerous.

It was all sort of the end after that.

You started to run into him a lot more. While he didn’t go to the local school like you, but the two of you lived in the same neighbourhood. You went to the library to study and there he was, with a blonde haired girl who nearly got kicked out for talking too much. You stopped at the mall to grab some clothes and there he was with the blonde hair boy from school who’s always chatting girls up. 

And every time he’d stop you just before you left, entice you with good conversation and a cigarette outside. And who were you to deny it? He was good conversation. He had good taste in music, and he made you laugh. You’d started hoping that you’d run into him more every time you left the house. And yes,  maybe you started to develop a teensy little crush on him. It didn’t help when he slipped you his phone number one day.

You’d just gotten out of your car, about to fill it up at the gas station, when you heard the rev of a motorcycle and a shout.

“Hey! Tanaka!” 

You turned to the source of the voice to see Touya hopping off his bike. You assumed it was his bike. He’d mentioned it a couple times, and the sleek metal and soft leather seats looked pretty close to his very detailed descriptions. He took his helmet off and god, the mess of his hair and the pink of his cheeks had you smiling instantly. You lock your car door and wave.

“Hiya. What are you doing here?”

He tapped the back of his bike. “Fuelling her up.” He looks down at your car.

“Nice ride.”

You rolled your eyes. It is definitely not a nice ride. Unfortunately you got the kind of rich parents that wanted you to earn money the old fashioned way, which included using your shitty part time job to pay for your first car. 

“It’s safer than that death machine.” You raised your eyebrows at his bike and he smoothed his hands over her.

“Aw, lighten up. She’s safe enough. And she’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

You rolled your eyes, finishing up filling your car, but you couldn’t help the little smile on your face. “It’s a machine, Touya. You can’t hurt her feelings.”

You started walking towards the store to pay, and he immediately followed, twirling his keys on his finger. “So where are you headed?”

“Home. Just finished work.”

Touya tilted his head. He held the door open for you and you walked in, quietly thanking him. He’s tall, so he had no issue reaching over and pushing it open before you even could touch the handle.

“Work? Where do you work?”

The store was empty, apart from an blred looking employee fiddling with the cash register. You eyed the chocolate bars and he watched you do so, standing a little closer than normal. “I work at that bookshop on Green street.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know it?” You grab a pack of m&ms. 

Touya nodded. You both walked over to the fridges, and he slid the door open and you grabbed a can of coke. You pull your hoodie sleeves over your hands. “Yeah. My sister’s always in there.” He said.

You hum. “I probably know her.”

“Not better than me, I hope. I should be the only Todoroki in your life.” He pouted and you snorted a laugh.

“Oh, don’t worry, you are.” 

Touya grabbed a red bull and the two of you walked to the counter. Touya queued first, and you watched him fumble in his pockets for his wallet, and come up empty. He looked up sheepishly at the cashier.

“Shit. I left my wallet at home.” He turned to you with an apologetic look on his face. “You have a dollar?”

You smiled, stepping forward. Touya protested as you asked the cashier to ring you up too, but you batted his hands away. He huffed next to you and you rolled your eyes.

“Consider this repayment for that cigarette.” You grinned, tapping your card.

Touya walked you the short distance back to your car. “Does this make you my sugar mommy?”

“Ew, Touya! That’s gross. I’ll take the red bull back.”

Touya laughed loudly. “If you want. I’ve already slobbered all over it though.”

“I think I’ve shared enough cigarettes with you to not care about that.”

You dug in your purse for your car keys, key rings jingling as you unlocked it.

“I guess this is goodbye once more.”

“It sure is, Tanaka.”

Before you could get in it though, he stopped you, hand circling your wrist. His fingers were wet with condensation from the red bull, and you noticed how easily they wrapped around you.

“Wait. Give me your phone.”

You looked at him in confusion. “What, you leave that at home too?”

“Ha ha. No. Just give it. Come on, babe.”

You sighed reluctantly, but dug it out of your pocket nonetheless. “Don’t call me babe.”

“You prefer baby?”

“I prefer Y/N.”

He did something. You couldn’t even see, but you trusted him, brushing a hair behind you head as you watched him tap away. You heard a chime come from his phone, and when he passed yours back, you saw he’d given you his number.

“Perfect.” 

You tried to hide the smile that was itching to grace your lips. “What was that for?”

He just slipped his helmet on, unashamed of his own grin. “So I can repay you for that Redbull. Give me a time and place, angel.”

“Y/N.”

He brushed you off. “Same thing.”

It was all downhill from there. He beat you in 8 ball IMessage games every night and sent you the dumbest TikToks you’d ever seen in your life, and you loved it. Touya called you when he was at work, on his walks home, while he was doing school stuff. It only made everything more exciting how forbidden it all was. Sneaking around town so nobody saw you two, only meeting late at night. Sure, you had to clamber out your window on the nights your parents were home and awake, but it was all worth it.

And nothing happened. Not yet, at least. It was nice to complain about your parents to somebody who understood, and the two of you got along in every other aspect too. There was that tension that always hung there whenever the two of you hung out. In the backseat of your car, the alleyway behind his house. The little voice that whispered in the back of head for more, for you to bridge that little gap the two of you were teetering on. But you ignored it, because it was bad enough you two were even friends. Let alone anything else.

But good things never last, and you get found out.

It’s after school, once you’d finished the tutoring gig you have on the side for extra credit in history. Your car was at the shop, and your bus decided it didn’t want to show up that day, so you called the only person you knew with a vehicle (and the only person you wanted to call). 

He got here quicker than you thought he would and you frown as the motorbike revs its way into the parking lot. He parked the bike and ripped the helmet off his head. Touya looked far too happy as he hopped off, immediately dumping a helmet in your hands. You quickly text your dad that your friend Rumi was driving you home. It’s not like he’d know. He was at some country club thing across town.

“I knew you’d give in.” He teased.

You pouted and held it for a moment. “I can’t believe I'm going to die at eighteen on a motorbike.”

Touya tutted. “None of that talk. This will be fun.” He whispered the last word, his low drawl sending a shiver up your spine.

You brushed him off, patting your hair down so you could fit the helmet on your head. It was big and bulky, and you lifted up the visor to look at him.

“Aw. You look cute.”

“At least I’ll die pretty.”

He pulled the visor down and knocked the side of the helmet. “Stop talking about dying. I’ll protect you, sweetheart.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Enough. Okay. How do we do this?”

Touya sat down on the motorbike. When his legs curved over the side you noticed they were more muscular than you first ever realised, even in the grey sweats he had on. He patted the seat behind him.

“On you get.”

You sighed. You made sure your bag was secured on your back, and gingerly hopped on. You pulled down your skirt as it hitched up your legs, and tried to ignore Touya’s eyes burning holes in your skin. You gripped the edge of the seat and Touya laughed.

“No can do, doll. You gotta hold me.”

Right. That made more sense. 

Your arms reached and curled around his middle, resting on his waist. You felt the hard line of muscle on his stomach, and you felt his chest rumble as he laughed once more.

“Closer. Come on, I don’t bite. Not unless you ask me to.”

You mumbled some choice words under your breath before you scooted closer. “Alright. I’m ready.”

“You sure?” He asked, clipping in his own helmet.

“I guess so.” 

The motorbike revved to life and you yelped. Your hands immediately gripped him tighter, and as Touya pulled out the parking lot and started driving you’re sure you almost suffocated him with how hard you were holding on. You couldn’t think about the fact he smelled like cigarettes and something musky, because wind was rushing through your hair and face, even where your face was pressed against his back. But, regardless of all that, it was great. Thrilling and adrenaline inducing in a way you hadn’t felt before.

“It’s good, right?” He yelled and you nodded, a smile almost splitting your face in half.

You made it home sooner than you’d have liked. You hopped off the bike, hair sticking on end as you took the helmet off.

“That was fun! Terrifying, but fun.” You yelled. Your ears were a little blocked from the rush of wind.

He fixed the hairs on your head that were sticking all over the place. His hands were bigger than yours but he was gentle as he brushed a strand of hair off your face.

“I told you I wouldn't kill you. Maybe next time you can drive.” His voice was softer than usual, and it made you feel warm.

“Oh, this is never happening again, trust me.”

“I agree.”

You froze. Touya froze too, and you cursed under your breath because that was your father’s voice. Your father who was supposed to be at some country club event right now, which is why you asked Touya to drop you home in the first place. Your face burned red and you turned to see him standing at the front door fuming, staring at the two of you. You immediately stepped away from Touya, and you thought that maybe for one second he didn’t recognise him, that some elaborate lie could get you out of this mess.

“Get off my property, Todoroki, before I call the police.” His voice was clipped and angry.

Fuck. “Dad, it’s-“

He looked at you with an expression so cold and disappointed it silenced you almost instantly. You faltered, turning to Touya. He looked just as caught in the headlights as you did. He stepped forward, to say something, cut through the tension that surrounded your front lawn, but your dad didn’t let him get a word in.

He pulled out his phone. Just held it in the air and fixed Touya with a glare. “You have about ten seconds.”

Your father was a man of his word and you’re happy Touya had some sense to believe him. He clipped his helmet back on his head, and you heard the rev of the motorcycle interrupt the silence before he drove away. 

“Dad-“

“Get inside.”

It was weird, being told off. You hadn’t been scolded like that, sat on the couch as your parents stood across from you with fury in their eyes, since you were a child. You were eighteen, for crying out loud. And yet, you still found yourself waiting for him to say something, not brave enough to storm off to your room when he looked as pissed as he did. After another few moments of aching silence, he finally spoke.

“Are you trying to destroy my work? My- My livelihood? Everything me and half the men in your family worked their whole lives for?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What? Dad, we were just-“

“You shouldn’t be anything with that boy! Do you even know what he’s like?” He yelled.

You sat up straighter. “He’s not a boy, Dad, he’s eighteen years old. So am I! We don’t have any business with you and Enji!”

Your dad shook his head. “It’s not about that! It’s- Do you even know his intentions? What if- His father is not a good man, Y/N. God knows what his son would turn out like.”

And you felt anger bridling between your veins, your head screaming at you to defend Touya’s name, because you know he has good intentions, that he has no business with Enji. He’s complained about him enough that you think he might hate him more than your own father does. 

He cursed under his breath. He sat down heavily on the coffee table across from you.

“Listen. I know you don’t care about this business, that you have no interest in it. That’s fine. I keep you out of it as much as I can, so I understand why you don’t realise why this is so bad.”

Your father rubbed at his eyes, and it was in moments like that you saw his age. That you noticed the wrinkles that had made home on his face, the tiredness that never seemed to leave no matter how much he slept.

“But it is bad. This- This business, it’s so competitive. Everything matters. And it looks bad for my partners if they see you together. You know how things are in this town, how much people talk, and he’s not exactly got the most picture perfect image. I mean, the dyed hair, the piercings.” Your dad shakes his head. “There’s- You know he has a criminal record? He committed arson when he was fifteen.”

“But Dad-“

“There’s no buts. Not only do this bad for me, but you said you had school, and I see you coming home on a motorbike when me and your mother aren’t home. All  because of that boy.” He spits.

“I didn’t lie, I did have school. He was just dropping me home!”

“You told me Rumi was dropping you home. So you lied. And I’m sure it’s not the first time. Don’t think we don’t know you’ve been sneaking out.”

Your face burned red. You didn’t even try to deny it and. Your father nodded his head. “See? We thought it was just- Rebellious teenager stuff. But now I know you were probably going out to see him.”

Your father stopped you before you could try defend yourself. “You’re grounded. School and then work and then home. No more sneaking out and no more motorbikes.”

Your mouth gaped open. “What? I don’t even get to defend myself?”

“No. Go to your room.” 

“I’m not a child, dad! You can’t ground me!” You spluttered, but he shrugged.

“You’re still living under my roof, and I'm still paying for everything. So yeah, I can ground you.”

It was a bit hard to defend your maturity when you did indeed storm into your room like a child. It was a surprise you didn’t get in even more trouble for your little outburst. You’re sure if your father wasn’t as tired as he was he would’ve doubled your punishment for talking back like you did. 

So you stopped talking to Touya. You didn't want to, but the watchful eyes of your parents and the guilt from that exhausted look that you put on your fathers face was sort of eating you up. You never really thought about the fact that he would’ve wanted you to take over the business, like he took it from his father. How much it all meant to him. You didn’t understand the logistics of his business because you never cared to and you can’t help but feel a little horrible because of it.

So you started leaving Touya on delivered. You replied less and you ignored the heavy weight on your chest it caused and the fact that you missed him more each second he was away. You knew if you entertained his conversation even slightly you’d be back to sneaking out and finding him in town, so you tried as best as you could to keep your distance. You felt bad that you couldn’t explain why. But the truth is you barely understood why yourself.

You worked and studied and came home just like your parents asked, desperate for your freedom and less of their overbearing eyes on you all the time.

But you couldn’t avoid Touya forever, and soon enough, there’s another party your whole family is expected to be at, some community thing that apparently everyone in town is going to. Your fathers up for an award and he wants you there. You’ve been informed your grounding will be lifted if you can show up and look the part, so you’re sort of excited to go, if more for the outcome than the event itself.

You wear a dark blue dress, the slit coming up to your thigh. The soft, silk material shines as it catches the light, and you pair it with a gold necklace your mother had bought you years ago. You do your makeup and fix your hair, spritzing yourself with your most expensive perfume. You’re not stupid. You know Touya is going to be there, so you may as well dress the part in case he catches a glimpse of you.

And, low and behold, he does. You’ve seen him once tonight. He’s wearing a black suit and a black button up and he sticks out like a sore thumb in between his family, but you know he doesn’t care. He looks bored and it’s a good look on him. His jaw is set and he sips in a glass of champagne. He notices you just once, blue eyes locking onto yours. They look at your face, drop to the exposed skin of your legs and collarbones. And then they look away.

You last about an hour of speeches and clapping before you find yourself outside. Today's venue is fancier and security guarded, so instead of exploring, you just stand outside, a ways away from the door. You wish you could go home but your ride is inside and probably still pissed at you. You itch for a cigarette and the boy who comes with them.

You know that you could probably call him right now and he’d come out, but. You feel some obligation to your family. To your father. It’s the least you could do to keep your hands off him tonight of all nights.

“You wanna share?”

You turn, and like you knew deep down, he’s there. It took him about ten minutes, but you knew he’d follow you out. You were hoping for it, relally. To get a glimpse of him alone, like he was really all for you. He’s illuminated by the moonlight and the soft glow of the streetlight you were leaning on. You look at the cigarette waiting patiently in his hands, and you look away.

“No, thanks.”

You can hear cars driving a couple streets down. The night air is cold, and your hands rub up and down your arms to try to warm you up. Touya nudges your arm and when you look, his suit jacket is in his hands.

“I’m alright.”

Touya frowns. “So that’s it? You’re just never going to speak to me again?”

You shake your head, turning away. “It’s- I can’t, Touya.”

And he scoffs, incredulous. He pulls you back and his skin is warm even outside. And when you face him, he looks desperate, and you want to turn away. He doesn’t let go of you though, and holds you in place.

“You can. Who gives a shit what our parents want?”

“I do!” You yell. “Touya, you know what our fathers are like. This- This business is everything for them!” 

“Okay? And what does that have to do with us?” He says, his grip tightening. 

“It-“  You struggle for the words like they’re stuck in your throat. “It has everything to do with us, come on, Touya. You know that.”

Even this, just talking to him is enough to have your parents mad at you. And if anyone inside catches this? Catches the way his hands are sliding down your arms to hold yours, the way you’re looking up at him? You’re dead.

“I don’t know. I- God. You make me sound so whipped.” 

He mumbles the last sentence like it’s just meant for him. At the confused look on your face he smiles, bittersweet and aching.

“I don’t know what it has to do with us, Y/N.” And it’s your name that leaves his lips, not some stupid nickname, and it tugs at your heart. “I don’t know and honestly, I don’t care.”

“I’m not taking over the business. I don’t give a shit about my dad and everything he stands for. I give a shit about you. I know that- there’s probably a hundred other guys that are probably way more deserving of you but.” 

He swallows roughly. Runs a hand through perfectly imperfect hair, then immediately comes back to hold you. 

“But I like you. Okay? I- I like you and I don’t care that our parents are fucking company rivals, I couldn’t give less of a shit. I really like you. And- you not talking to me for the past few days? It’s fucking killing me.”

“I-“ 

But he cuts you off. “Don’t lie. Okay? Don’t lie to me. Don’t act like you don’t feel the same way.”

He steps closer. Your hand comes up and rests on his chest and you think you can feel his heartbeat.

“Touya. I don’t- I don’t know.”

Your fingers curl in his shirt. The fabric feels expensive in your hands, rough against the smoothness of his skin. The distance between you is so small, yet you feel like it might take everything in you to pull him closer. His hands slide from your hands to settle against your waist and they burn through the layers of your dress. 

You can hear the sound of music slipping out from under the doors. You wonder how long it will take for someone to notice you’re missing, and you wonder if you’ll be here with Touya when they do. You can only imagine the look on your fathers face, the look on Enji, if they caught you two even talking. Let alone whatever this is.

The dress you’re wearing does nothing to protect you from the cold, but you don’t think it’s the reason you’re shivering. It’s wrong. God, it’s so wrong that you can feel it physically, the cells in your body urging you to pull away.

But he’s looking at you like nobody ever has. Eyes flirting from your lips, to the slope of your nose, the heat you can feel colouring your cheeks. There’s a look of desperation in his face you’d feel horrible to ignore, like he might die if he goes one more second without you. The streetlight casts shards of light across his face and you’re certain the person standing in front of you can’t be human. You find him beautiful in a way you didn’t think was possible, and you’re scared and begging that he knows that.

You stand, silent and breathing, for what might be a lifetime. You’re both daring the other to make the first move. Both too scared to ask for what you want.

Touya lifts his hand. He curls it around your face, rests it against the space in between your neck, just where it meets your shoulder. He asks. Silent and still somehow the loudest thing you’ve ever heard.

A nod. Imperceptible at best, but enough. Enough for someone desperately searching for it. 

A breath.

And then he’s on you. His hands pull you closer and your own curve against the slope of his jaw, scratching against the faint stubble on his chin. And his lips are rough and pressing as they melt against your own, like he’s trying to fit himself inside your mouth. He bites at your bottom lip and your mouth opens with a soft noise, and he’s licking, tongue searching your gums and the uneven line of your teeth. 

You push him back, panting for breath. “We- Touya, chill.” You laugh breathlessly as his lips trail down your neck, licking at your pulse and biting at the soft skin of your shoulders.

“No.”

“Someone could walk out and see us.” You whisper weakly. 

“Don’t care. I’d fuck you in front of them all.”

“Touya.” You scold, blushing furiously.

You finally push him back properly. Your hands come up and land on his face, thumb brushing the globe of his cheeks. His face is flushed and warm and his lips look so kissed and swollen. He blinks impossibly long lashes at you and you smile despite yourself.

“I like you too. Obviously. I just- You need to give me time. To figure this all out.”

He swallows and you watch his Adam Apple bob. 

“I know you don’t care about what your father thinks, but I do. And- I need to find a way to convince him. Then, we can see.”

Touya nods. He waits a beat. “Does this mean you’ll stop ignoring me?” 

Guilt clenches in your stomach. “Yes. Sorry about that.” You say sheepishly.

He hums. “I think I’ll need a few more kisses first before I forgive you.”

“Degenerate. Pass me that cigarette.” 

—————————————————————————-

Touya Todoroki I’ll never forget u.. we r five years strong ☺️ I hate this slightly but I also love it.. so who knows

my period was late so it’s so painful and bad.. keep me I. Ur prayers people

As always hope u enjoyed <3

[w0rmss]

Hi hi!!

I'm wondering if you could do something domestic with Jason and an anxious! or maybe something to do with stress baking? I'd really like if it were mostly fluff but ultimately it's dealer's choice.

Have a great Day/Afternoon/Evening/Night!!!

Thank you for the request i did two one with just general anxiety and one including the stress baking hope you enjoy.

(The anxiety is heavily influenced by my own just waning)

tw anxiety panic attacks/ anxiety attacks stress baking.

Work was stressful right now and your shared apartment with your boyfriend Jason was a mess. Everything was just getting two much and your head was racing a million miles an hour. ‘you’ll never finish the project in time and pull get fired.’ ‘Jason will hate you for messing up the apartment while he’s gone.’ ‘Everything is a mess and it’s your fault.’ All these thoughts race through your head. You know they’re not true but your logical brain isn’t working and everything is too much. Your chest gets tight and your head spins. Your hands fidget with the cloth in them and you cant think straight. Everything is loud and you cant focus on your breathing no matter how hard you try.

Jason walks through the front door after a mission. He’d been gone for a few days and hoped you’d be fine without him. When he walked in he found you curled up hyperventilating on the couch. “Baby.” He dropped his bag and rushed over to you kneeling in front of you. “Hey hey it’s okay. Can i take your hands.” You let him take hold of your shakey hands. “Deep breath okay. In.” He takes a deep breath and you do the same. “And out.” You breathe out. “Again.” His voice is soft and loving his presence calming. He sits with you walking you through breathing exercises till you’ve calmed down and your breathing is normal and your head somewhat cleared.

Jason sits next to you with you curled into his side. “Wanna tell me what happened. I not it’s fine.” He asks finally breaking the silence. You sigh and curl into him further. “Everything got to much and the thoughts took over.” You fee silly, even if you know you shouldn’t you’d been working on this with both your therapist and Jason, yet you still let the thoughts take over. “Hey it’s okay. I know we talked about starving the thought gremlins but sometimes he’s extra hunger and wont stop. And thats okay too.” He rubs your hip lovingly. The thoughts are gone for now and all you focus on is being with Jason.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The whole place smells like bake goods when Jason gets up from his nap and the kitchen is covered in said good along with the ingredients and you. You stand backing in the middle of the small kitchen muttering about deadlines. Jason sighs. He’s been with you long enough to know when you get stressed you bake and then you dont stop because you’re so stressed. “Baby?” Jason walks further into the kitchen. “Mmm” you hum in respond not looking up from where you’re beating egg whites like they killed your dog. “How long have you been at this.” He asks picking up a cookie and taking a bite. “Not that I'm complaining i love your baking this is just a tad much no.” That gets your attention and you look around seeing the mess and the cookies cakes and croissants in the kitchen. “When did i make croissants.” You mumble realising you went a bit over bored. “Umm… some to the neighbours?” You smile sheepishly looking at the mess you made. Jason nods taking another bite from the cookie. “Good idea. I’ll help clean up.

It doesn’t take long for you both to clean up the kitchen and you give most of the baking to the kids in the complex. Finally you and Jason sit down together on the couch. “Next time you’re that stressed, tell me so you dont go that overboard again. I’m here to help baby. I love you.” He kisses your forehead. “I know im sorry works just ugh, I didn’t think it was that bad.” Jason reaches over and turns on the tv pulling you closer. “Love you Jay.” You smile. “Love you too baby”

Hope you enjoyed keep request i will get to them eventually. Thank you so much for all the likes on my stuff i really appreciate it and thank you so much.

also if you suffer from really bad stress or anxiety there are some great free resources online and on YouTube. Please stay safe and take care of your mental health guys it’s so important.

Have a wonderful day night afternoon etc ❤️

[meatsound]

ok im almost done but it just made a huge impact on me at a time where i considered throwing myself in front of a train daily thinking i didnt matter to anyone to come back from a month long furlough and someone who i didnt know knew i existed going ^_^ YAY CAL YOURE BACK HI. just realizing that maybe i wasnt as horrible as i thought i was. that people knew me and liked me and enjoyed my presence

meanwhile at an office job its all surface level politics. i talk to one coworker about elden ring. another coworker about bucees and gas stations in texas. i sit at my computer and i make junkmail. most useless ass job in the world in fact an actively harmful job

[donut-entendre]

why are you starving your farmer's son to death. feed him

[yamikawaii]

theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love

[dewgongs]

ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them

[swordbreakerz]

Being aromantic and finding that out in ur 20s is soooooooo funny bc I met the 3 people I consider my soulmates (one of whom is now my qpp) in october of 2016, and both before and after this i dated a few people but as i grew closer and closer w this group and also came into my gender and sexuality over the yrs, id sometimes wonder why i didnt crave romantic fulfillment anymore, and not fantasize about having a long term bf or anything. It didn't really worry me? Like, I wasn't concerned about it, but I would go like huh wonder what's up w that. Oh well not my problem!, every now and then

And then thru making friends w a bunch of arospec folks I was finally like oohhhhhhhh it's because my emotional fulfillment needs are already met and these people and our friendship is an intrinsic part of my being and i love them more than i can ever hope to describe. Got it!

[theintelligentfool]

im so sick of embarrassment and anxiety being kind of in control of ?my entire life? at this point

[totentnz]

GOOD MORNING (now evening)

today i awoke and chose violence. i wanna talk a bit about the AU @bishicat and I have. ~inspired~ by the 5 songs, 3 outfits taggame!

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep [...] We will find you It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the Most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody wants to rule the world [...] There's a room where the light won't find you Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down When they do, I'll be right behind you I'm so glad we've almost made it So sad they had to fade it Everybody wants to rule the world [...] I can't stand this indecision Married with a lack of vision Everybody wants to rule the— Say that you'll never, never, never, never need it

name of the AU, basically it's about change, within oneself, within a friend group, within the world. and about accepting that change - or fighting against it. each member of the trio (or V³ as we like to call em) thinks their way of living is the right one. V(alerie) is hellbent on not backing down and staying right where she is V(incent) thinks getting away from the city and the people who hurt him is the best choice V(ivienne) wants more from life, money, fancy clothes and power

TOWNIE

There's a party and we're all going And we're all growing up Somebody's driving and he will be drinking And no one's going back 'Cause we've tried hungry and we've tried full and Nothing seems enough [...] I'm holding my breath with a baseball bat Though I don't know what I'm waiting for I am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be

name of the pairing for V³ - the song is about growing up and changing. (AGAIN) bishi actually picked that one and i was on board right away, it was important to me that we pick a song we both like (the more rock-y feel of that song also helped lmao)

RYAN & DAVE

Ryan and Dave are rabble rousin', teenage cousins Difference is Dave has an off switch, and Ryan doesn't 20 years later now Dave behaves rank and file And Ryan's a burnt out adult, last gasp, wild child

guess what this one is about! CHANGE! (are you tired of it yet?) mostly it is about viv picking a different path than v though - one stayed exactly where she has always been while the other chose to change. ALSO in the music video they are DOGS and we love a dog motif

6:26 in the morning, didn't need alarm I couldn't sleep a wink, I'm betting my whole farm Left Dave's place at eight, just drove, didn't really talk I shook his hand and popped the door to make the walk Applied for admission at the detox shop Got to the door it said open, ten o'clock It's freezing out, no way that I can make it to ten Look back at my truck at my only real friend

some time ago we talked about viv helping v on her healing journey (girlie cannot catch a break from being a babysitter even after she got johnny a body LMAO) and even though v never ends up at rehab (maybe that will change) it still fits pretty well.

NEVER LET ME DOWN AGAIN

I'm taking a ride with my best friend I hope he never lets me down again He knows where he's taking me Taking me where I want to be I'm taking a ride with my best friend [...] We're flying high We're watching the world pass us by Never want to come down Never want to put my feet back down on the ground [...] See the stars, they're shining bright (never let me down) Everything's alright tonight (never let me down)

V³ had a pretty big fight at one point. viv was always going to leave for arasaka but v never understood or accepted it. they argued for hours and when vincent didn't chose her side, v stormed off to go on a weeklong bender. when she returned the flat was empty, both her siblings had left -and betrayed her. naturally, viv also felt betrayed by her childhood friend, all she asked for was support but instead she got called a traitor. i like to imagine this song plays on the radio one day after their reunion

THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT

When we were young, the future was so bright The old neighborhood was so alive And every kid on the whole damn street Was gonna make it big and not be beat

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn The kids are grown up, but their lives are worn How can one little street swallow so many lives?

TO ME this is THE streetkid song but it hits hard especially in this universe. as i mentioned before V³ thinks they picked the right path, they aren't gonna be beat (and honestly vincent is the only one who succeeded). viv had a good run but then she got kicked from the corp, lost her newest best friend, DIED and now has a whole other person stuck in her skull. v was stubborn, was homeless for a bit and is overall in a bad way (but then again, that's the only way she knows how to live so it's not as bad TO HER)

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

THIS IS A BIG ONE SO BUCKLE IN FOLKS bishi and i had been talking about a personal quest for v and we ended up on this: one day they are driving somewhere while listening to the radio when a host teases a special treat! they have exclusive rights to the music of NC born and bred band Rotten! (yeah you guessed it! V's band) naturally this fills her with pure rage and viv knows this isn't going to end well (babysitting time!) v knows exactly who did this and is hellbent on rectifying this (there is more but yall are gonna have to wait for the day i decide to write it lmao) As Above, So Below is the name of the job! it is a song that v wrote but only she knows about it. while viv wasn't a band member she was there for it's founding and a few first concerts, she filmed a lot of it and even ran the merch stand a bit

I won't lie, it's quite temptin' Your handouts and your bones I won't lie, they're quite empty Your promises and your stones

If you sell, they'll buy Don't feel, just sign If you sell, they'll buy Don't think, stay blind

Give me the control Just sign on the dotted line Give me the control He whispered softly Give me the control You're crawling inside my mind Give me the control Don't you fight me?

As above, so below What you reap is what you sow What you give comes back three fold As above, so below

YES the song is about v not wanting to sign with a label and it is her final fuck you to the world of music. in reality that song is incredibly underproduced since by the time it was recorded the band had already broken up. v did ALL of it: singing, instruments, songwriting. editing magic made it come to life. depending on how it ends (yes there are multiple outcomes) viv will receive a shard with ALL of rotten's music, including THIS unreleased song and even some backstage footage from way back in the day when viv was still around.

See I've danced with the enemy We have secrets, no one knows Yeah, I've danced with my enemy I wore her skin and her clothes

honourable mention because this part is very viv coded

instead of outfits i present you! some soul crushing quotes! i hope you enjoy! :3c

[july-19th-club]

tanaaj is such a tragic character "i do everything right nobody has ever been as good or correct about the rule of saint leah as i am. unrelated but why do i feel so bad and guilty and lonely all the time?" well for starters you live in fully automated luxury catholicism so that's gonna contribute to the issue for sure

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Love stumbling on random ship hate on pinterest when it's something I never look for /sarc

[bbq-potato-chip]

unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him

[jrueships]

I read your latest gunsmith fanfic and I really loved it!! 🥺💖 I recognized so many of your Tumblr posts in it (they were like little Easter eggs). And there were so many banger lines in it…it made me laugh so many times! 😂 Thanks for writing AND sharing it. 😌✨

P.S. I love the title…it describes them sooo well!

P.P.S. I’m shy too but uhhh if you ever wanted to talk about gunsmith/the Rockets then send me a message on Tumblr!!! Would enjoy hearing your thoughts on their pairing!! Okay bye!!! 🙈

GONNA CRY RN 😭😭😭😭😭

[milf-harrington]

"babes i'd get you mcr merch before getting my own lmao" literally wtf did i do to deserve this girl

[mrfoox]

except that im mentally dead, i’m good

[bethrnoora]

lesbian laurie strode is an especially important headcanon even tho in the context of halloween 2018 (knowing she was not the best mother she could have been to karen and has two failed marriages behind her) is a bit of a bittersweet one. but i like to think that somewhere along the way in the reboot trilogy she comes to better understand that part of herself