#i dont even get a lot of hate comments or asks or anything

[prickly-porcupine-memes]

Look, i wont pretend to know you, to know what you've been through and what life experiences you've had. We are simply two strangers on the internet.

But surely there are shades of gray to this issue. Idk maybe there can be understanding and empathy extended to people you see as enemies?

I dont expect you to agree with all of them, but i think you should try and see their arguments from another perspective. Even just to better debate when people like me ask you stuff! Maybe taking a step back and putting yourself in an antizionists shoes. Why do they believe the things they do, what experiences could've informed these opinions.

Even just considering the optics and the things are seeing outside of debate. People on tumblr for example see the rubble, the sheer destruction of urban warfare. And for zionists like yourself, you see the protests, the anger directed at you, which i can only imagine feels terrifying. Like im sure theres a reason your askbox is labelled in such a way. But i think its important to remember the people on the other side are still human. They are just as pasaionate and firm in their beliefs as you. Im sure the mean comments people send you either sting or galvanize, and the barbs you send back do the same to them. Maybe seeing them not as enemies but people you disagree with or cant stand will help you win a debate and change a mind, or you'll find your own position changing.

Thank you for your time, i know you probably get a lot of hate mail so if you at least read this far and considered even one of my points id be quite happy.

(Also my blog is mostly me being a massive lesbian and reblogging cute girls. And i dont really wanna make a second blog specifically for political thought so i'd advise against digging through my blog since it wont really help you sorry)

Anyways i hope you have an okay day

I'm going to answer as though your ask was sent in good faith.

You say you don't pretend to know me...but then you build your entire ask on assumptions about who I must be.

You assume I see people as enemies. You suggest I lack empathy. You imply I haven't considered opposing views. You tell me to remember that people are human, as if that's something I've forgotten.

I don't dehumanize people, I don't treat disagreement as a threat, and I don’t think strong emotions automatically make a belief system valid. I've spent a lot of time understanding why people believe what they believe, including those who oppose Jewish national self-determination. If anything, that's exactly why I disagree with them. Understanding is not the same as agreement.

You're asking me to do a kind of emotional labor I already do. Meanwhile, you say nothing about what anti-Zionists might owe in return. You don't ask them to consider how it feels to be on the receiving end of protest signs that erase Jewish peoplehood, slogans which endorse violence, or the torrent of harassment many of us face online. You frame empathy as a one-way demand, from Jews and to antisemites.

You talk about Tumblr seeing rubble and destruction, but not the context of how wars work, or why those buildings were targeted, or what Hamas does from inside civilian areas. You pretend to be fighting for complexity while displaying a very selective compassion.

If your goal was to model dialogue, it would help to avoid dressing up assumptions as invitations. Dialogue works best when both sides are treated as human from the start, not when one side is scolded for being inhumane.

You seem to congratulate yourself for not sending hate mail, but writing politely while misrepresenting someone's values is pure condescension, and that's what your entire ask reeks of.

If you want mutual understanding, start by assuming that the person you're addressing already engages with complexity, already sees humanity in others, and already thinks carefully about what they believe.

[amchrisha]

Thats how i think as well, even though i am more on the neutral side.

I view religion like i view intelligence (especially our intelligence). It is a two edged sword. It can create great things but it can also create great suffering and destruction. If someone would ask me if i believe in God (or Gods/Godesses) then i would mostly reply with, i dont know (amybe there is one, or many, or maybe there isnt) . Or i would say that the universe itself is "God" (but not in the way on how it is described in the bible or other religious texts). I would view "God" more like the Force in Star Wars.

I dont know if that makes sense for everyone and i hope that i dont offended anyone. But as i said, i am just very neutral on the whole thing. But there are also things that i am deeply frustated about and often times even angry. Like the whole idea of eternal torment after death (because of xxxx reasons), or how many genocides (or tried genocides) there where in history and are happending right now. Always justifing (did i write the word right?) it with the remark "God or Gods demanded it because these people are abominations, inherintly sinfull etc.".

The times , when these holy texts where written, where shitty. Even today, the modern civillisation is far from perfect. But i dont hate our species. It is more an extreme frustation that we seemingly cant get over our prejuces, racism etc. Again because of xxx reasons. I certaintly dont believe that we are "evil" from birth. We are "neutral", but it can drift into positvity or negativity. It depend on how society (or the lack of it) formes you and how your own opinions and experiences grow you.

I certaintly (?) want to read the many different "holy" texts of many different religions (or most of them). I am afraid of it, because it wont be easy (since they often where written a very long time ago and we today lack the same context like back then). And because seemingly most religions are very male focused while the females are either just viewed as objects, servants, flawed so they need correction or other things. I also despise the whole sacrifice of animals or other living beings. I cant wrap my head around why a kind and just (depending on how you view justice) "God" or "Gods" would want that in the first place. For me it is deeply barbaric and the whole "He/she/it deity made us and the whole of existance, so they can demand that from us because they own evrything and anything" is very disturbing and eldritch. I mean how would you be if you could communicate with every cell and bacteria of you own body? Or if ants from any ants nest beg the exterminator not to kill them, that they just want to live in peace.

Man you can go on and on with this subject but i dont want to make my comment longer and longer.

I only want to emphize that while i am neutral about religion i also dont like everything around it.

I am sorry if i made a lot of grammatical errors. I am not a native english speaker and writer. I am german.

I have such a love hate relationship with religion.

Like on one hand religion is cool and was made as a way to be like "who needs government to keep morals we can do it ourselves and spread love and peace" And on the other hand religion was adopted by the government to get more power.

Then you have atheists. One hand they push for scientific advances and understand that religion has been used as a way to hurt people in the past. On the other hand they are complete douches to any sort of religion and demonize (ironically enough) religion as only bad.

I like religion because it was made as a way to love one another despite differences

"Love thy neighbor as thyself" -Jesus

"Treat each man as if he was your brother" -Somewhere in the Quran I think

"Don't lie, rape, kill and be nice" -basically Buddhism summed up

"Fuck it, go with the flow and just vibe, no need to be pissed at dumb shit" -Taoism summed up

However I hate how religion has, over the course of time, been used by people to usurp power such as stuff with Crusades and Jihads

And I like how atheists push for more science rather than just blind faith but I hate how atheists have a "holier than thou" (again very ironic) attitude because they don't believe in a religion

[maaaxx]

Hiii this is your daily reminder that fanfic authors do what they do for free and get no monetary gain at all for hours of writing and sometimes years keeping up with a series and so unless the author specifically asks for critisim, dont give it. If you do, your an asshole :)

Authors can quite literally do anything they want to with their fic even if it doesnt fit your or the majority of the fandoms personal preferences.

"Well if you dont want critisized dont post it"

Well if you dont like it dont read it, you cunt.

[connormoving]

aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .

[checkeredflagggs]

Glazed and Confused

Pairing: Lando Norris x Potter!Youtuber!reader

Summary: when lando fails to make a simple mug, fans direct him towards your YouTube channel

a/n: I took 1 hr long class on pottery and quit. Don’t like the feel of it, have mostly forgot literally everything about it so…🤷🏻‍♀️

a/n 2: I really struggled to get lando’s voice down and don’t really think I did. Oops 😬 will work on that for next time (also plz ignore that changing of the handles. I try to keep them accurate but again I’m not on those social media platforms so…)

a/n 3: I tried to make sure that this reader was never gendered or given a race — there’s one photo near the end that depicts 2 white smaller hands but I think that is the only time. Please let me know how I did, if you could

Pottery Made Easy has posted

potterymadeeasy

liked by user1, user2, and 2316 others

pottermadeeasy: my newest video (mugs and bowls, pt 2) is now up! In it I show you ways to add a little flourish and decorations to the pieces you made from part 1!

view all comments

user1: thank you your majesty! Easy to understand and so so easy to follow!! (unlike my professor 🙄😬)

user2: right? If they either stopped mumbling or spoke up…

user1: might be asking too much of someone born in the 1800s 😭🙄

user2: unfortunately

user3: god your work is so gorgeous. Do you sell anything?

potterynadeeasy: occasionally! I’m based in Monaco rn and a friend owns a shop and sometimes they let me use a shelf or 2

user4: ohh! I’m in France. Plz plz plz make an announcement when you will next have some ready! I’d love to own a piece

potterynadeeasy: of course lovely 😊 vague plans are to have some ready in the next week or 2!

user4: seriously?!? Marking the calendar right now!

user3: you have no idea how jealous I am right now…

potterynadeeasy: dm me! I might be able to ship it to you depending on where you are!

user3: faints bless you

user5: landonorris here! They might be able to help you

user6: be so for real right now. It’ll take a miracle to help landonorris

user7: I hate to be a negative nancy but…yeah. That latest stream was bad bad landonorris

user8: I dont even know…that clay flew… landonorris

user9: would hate to be his cleaner…

lnupdates

liked by user5, user6, user7, and 1,897,455 others

lnupdates: some of our favorite moments from Lando’s latest stream where he was attempting to make a ceramic mug…bowl? It was certainly an interesting one to watch

view all comments

user5: interesting is one way to put it. Tragic is another

user6: no but really…that was. I legit have no words

user7: he needs to watch potterymadeeasy! I love their videos

user8: oh? I haven’t heard of them

user7: they’re a Monaco based potter that has a lot of simple how to videos!

user8: just watched one of them! And god their voice…🥵

user7: oh my god right?!?

user5: but are they gonna be enough to help lando?

user7: well they certainly couldn’t make it any worse tbh

user9: you got this lando! Pottery isn’t something easy to pick up - you just gotta keep trying!

user10: yeah! There was definitely some improvement by the end

Bluesky

Private DMs

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 2,790,469 others

landonorris: progress! these ones were mostly standing. I’m not done yet though - catch me tomorrow night giving it another go

view all comments

user11: those looked good! Most definitely an improvement!

user12: he’s almost there! It’s literally just the little things now

user13: oh how far we’ve come! In less then a year he’s gone from flying clay to something that could generously be called a bowl

user14: and an “artistic” vase!

oscarpiastri: definitely better then last time

landonorris: mate…

oscarpiastri: you don’t pay your cleaner enough

landonorris: mate!! get out of my comments

charles_leclerc: keep trying! Maybe one day you’ll get there

landonorris: yeah say goodbye to your Christmas present

charles_leclerc: 👎🏻

alex_albon: will be there! And will definitely be recording - gotta have proof 😂

landonorris: is it national bully lando day here or something?

user15: yes

user16: yes

oscarpiastri: yes

charles_leclerc: yes 👍🏻

georgerussell63: yes

alex_albon: yes!!

maxverstappen1: yes

danielricciardo: yes!

carlossainz55: yes!

landonorris: you freaking muppets!

user17: ok but am I the only one who noticed he kept looking to the side and like beaming?

user18: no but I thought I was going insane? Like he was so soft?

user17: yeah! definitely getting the feeling he wasn’t the only one there. Just who are you looking at?

user18: dare we say little lando norris has a partner now?

landonorris

liked by potterymadeeasy, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 2,723,944 others

landonorris: haha! I did kt! A mug a vase and a bowl!! On to the next step - glazing! And you muppets didn’t think I could do it

view all comments

user19: woohoo! Congrats lando! Those look so so good!

user20: and those glazes are gonna be fire when they’re done. I use the same brand and colors he did and they turn out AMAZING

user19: ok don’t be shy drop the names plz

potterymadeeasy: those look great!

landonorris: thank you! Had a great teacher 😉

user21: ariana (potterymadeeasy) what are you doing here?

user22: thoughts are being thunk

user23: unthunk those thoughts right now

user22: sorry…thots are being thunk rn

user23: nurse she’s out again!

user21: really? Under my comment thread?

user24: I’ve connected the dots.

user25: you’ve connected shit

user24: no I’ve connected them

user25: god get a life

charles_leclerc: congrats!

carlossainz55: it only took a few months…

alex_albon: a couple of different throwing wheels

georgerussell63: and 3 different cleaning companies

landonorris: I’m gonna run you all over with my car

mclaren: legally this is a joke

landonorris

liked by potterymadeeasy, danielricciardo, carlossainz55, and 2,922,713 others

landonorris: first round of my ceramics are currently cooking in the kiln. Starting a new batch and stretching my creative skills

view all comments

user26: holy shit those look INCREDIBLE

user27: I’m so shocked! I just started watching the old streams so like in the course of a day he went from wet clay lumps to these masterpieces

user28: I’m so so proud of him - I’m currently trying to get into pottery and ceramics and watching him keep at it is so inspiring

user26: user28 you can do it! Persistence is key

oscarpiastri: man thinks he’s Picasso now…but for real congrats lando. Those look good! And functional too

landonorris: I’m only gonna give you the lumpy ones actually

oscarpiastri: I’m good thanks

landonorris: 🙃

oscarpiastri: honestly proud of you. You’ve come a long way

landonorris: thanks mate!

oscarpiastri: I’m also glad you can stop calling me crying about your latest fuck up

landonorris: you muppet!

danielricciardo: too soon to call dibs on that dragonfly mug?

landonorris: after the way you continuously kept laughing at me?

danielricciardo: in encouragement?

landonorris: 😑

danielricciardo: 🥹🧡?

landonorris: fine 🙄

user29: ok yeah good job on those designs and whatever but are we gonna mention those HEART MUGS?!

landonorris: 😂🧡😉

user29: get back here and answer some questions! What? Does? That? Mean?

landonorris: 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

user29: SIR!

maxverstappen1: i see you’re finished making my present but really? Matching heart mugs?

landonorris: not actually for you!

maxverstappen1: heart❤️ been broke💔🤕 so many times⏰ i don’t know❌🤷‍♀️ what to believe 🍃🙏

landonorris: …who are you and where is max?

maxverstappen1: I thought what we had was special

landonorris: not my favorite relationship anymore! Sorry 🧡

maxverstappen1: 💔

potterymadeeasy: those look good!

landonorris: I had a good teacher 🧡

potterymadeeasy: flatterer

landonorris: always 😉

User22: !!!

User23: shut up shut up shut up

landonorris

liked by yourpriv, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 3,123,321 others

landonorris: kiln unveiling and some upcoming projects!

listen. when I randomly decided that I wanted to learn how to make ceramic dishes, it was mostly because I wanted to make something with my own 2 hands — and when I wasn’t immediately good at it, I decided that I wouldn’t stop until I was.

Its been a long couple of months with a lot of struggles but I can finally say that I’m proud of how far I’ve come. It hasn’t been easy but the journey and the process has been fun and i genuinely can’t wait to see what comes next!

view all comments

user30: I’m? Crying? 😭

user31: omg same!!! To see how far he’s come and to hear that he’s finally proud of himself too…

user32: we’re excited for you too!

user33: excited? For what? Some more mediocre “Art” by some mediocre man?

user32: go fuck yourself. And get out of my comments. And off lando’s page

used34: user33 how about you go get some sun and maybe shove some kindness up yours! 🖕

oscarpiastri: seriously, congratulations. Those look incredible

landonorris: thanks mate! I do appreciate your support

oscarpiastri: and my cupboards appreciate your work

user34: 🩵🩵 ahhh he’s giving away his pieces

alex_albon: it’s been a fun ride watching you!

landonorris: thanks i think

alex_albon: no problem!

alex_albon: and could you send me the name of your newest cleaning crew? They most be ungodly good

landonorris: and there it is… cleaningcrew

alex_albon: anyway i could get a series of mugs inspired by albon_pets?

landonorris: I’ll need a lot of pretty good pictures

alex_albon: on it 🫡

landonorris: in fact I might need to visit in person

albon_pets: yay! We love ❤️ getting visitors

user35: UMMM?!? That 5th photo?!?

user36: IS THIS A SOFT LAUNCH? DOES LITTLE LANDO NORRIS FINALLY HAVE A PARTNER AGAIN?!?

landonorris: 🫢🤫

user36: YOU CANT KEEP GETTJNG AWAY WITH THIS

landonorris: 😂🏃🏻‍♂️💨

yourpriv: my love, I’m so proud of you! Putting yourself out there in the world to learn something new is never easy but you have done it with amazing persistence and talent.

landopriv: babe… you know I couldn’t do it without you

yourpriv: oh I have no doubt you would have gotten here on your own

landopriv: no. No i don’t think I would have. I’m a fast guy and I’m used to fast results. When I reached out to you, it was a last resort last string. If it didn’t work out with your help, I was honestly going to quit. You pushed me to get better, to stick with it till I made it.

yourpriv: 🥹🥹🥹

landopriv: I’m serious. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me — i love you 🧡

yourpriv: 🥹🥰🧡 I love you too hun

maxverstappen1: can’t lie — it was a fun ride watching you fail but I also can’t wait to see what you make next

landonorris: …thanks for your support 😑🙄😅

maxverstappen1: you know it!

landonorris

liked by yourpriv, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 2,997,245 others

tagged: yourpriv, potterymadeeasy

landonorris: no time for a soft launch. Thank you honey for teaching me pottery and for designing such a bomb ass helmet!

comments have been limited on this post

potterymadeeasy: Lando! We had a plan!

landonorris: 🤷🏻‍♂️

landonorris: love ya!

potterymadeeasy:…love you too!

[ghostlyferrettarot]

✨Pick a card:⋆｡‧˚ 🩵ིྀ ˚‧｡⋆ How Your Next Partner Will Pursue You ⋆｡‧˚ 🩵ིྀ ˚‧｡⋆

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

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⭐️🫧 💙Masterlist⭐️🫧 🫧 💙Masterlist 2⭐️🫧

₊˚ʚ 💙 ₊˚✧ ﾟPile 1:

Hi Pile 1! This person will not enter your life through Instagram or TikTok, not anything like that, I feel like they kinda hate it honestly, maybe they dont even have social media; they have quite an unique energy tbh. They have a look that makes you turn your head and think "Who's that?", but with such an enigmatic vibe that you don't even know if they even realized you existed. But they did. They observe. They take their time. They're not much of a talker, but when they do, every word seems really important, everything has a meaning with them. You don't know if they're flirting or analyzing you, which its kinda funny, i see you all confused about them and it can make you a little bit stressed (in a good way). They leave you confused but wanting more. And then the chase begins. Not with flowers or grand gestures. With details you don't even know how to notice: they remember you don't like cilantro (if you dont like cilantro for real, shout out to you bc thats what im getting) , they save you the last piece of cake, they help you with something without saying anything, and then they disappear as if nothing happened. At first, you think they're very cold. You tell yourself you don't want to get involved. But when you get to know them better, you realize: they're someone with a lot going on inside. They don't show it out of fear, habit, trauma, whatever. But with you, things slip out. Long glances. Overly personal comments. Confessions that spill out unintentionally, i feel like thay are someone who is more private but with you they find themselves sharinh things without even noticing, you have something about you that makes them just drop their trust issues. And you start to see something that intrigues you more than any cheap chatter. They'll be constant, but in their own way. They'll make you feel seen, cared for, protected, without shouting it out. Until one day, without realizing how you got there, you're sitting across from them, looking at them as if they were your longtime best friend, and you know that they're just as scared as you are about this feelings. But they will stay with you right there, and a really beautiful realtionship will blossom <3. They are so sweet, honestly, its giving Edward Cullen in the best way possible, twilight might be important too.

₊˚ʚ 💙 ₊˚✧ ﾟPile 2:

Hi pile 2! This energy is just so light, Pile 2, this person its so fun. It starts off easy. Chatting, laughter, support. You tell them your romantic dramas, they listen without judgment, and laughs when you say that no one's worth it anymore. You two may start out as friends, but they'll be thinking about you ALL THE TIME, believe me. And one day everythings changes, i feel like it will be so CLEAR for everyone that you two are in love, except for you two. Ayways, they give you a hug that lasts half a second longer than usual. They look at you as if they don't see you the same way anymore. And you feel it. But you get scared. Because if they were your friend, what do you do with this now? They start making comments they didn't say before. They take a little more interest in your personal life. They offer help without you asking. They listen to you as if you're the only thing that matters. And without saying it, they start showing up everywhere you are. Not out of necessity. Out of choice. Because they want to see you well (this oerson is honestly an angel pile 2, soo good for you). Because they're starting to like the way you laugh. The way you think. The way you live. When they finally decide to take the plunge, it won't be with a picture-perfect romantic declaration. It'll be something simple, almost casual, on an ordinary day. But you'll be ready. Because you've been wondering for a while. Because deep down you knew this wasn't "just friendship." And when you kiss for the first time, you feel that this is IT, that finally, someone truly knows you and still chooses you. That love doesn't have to hurt. That sometimes, they're right there next to you, making you laugh like it's nothing <3. This person is giving me Jim Halpert from the office vibes, you two can have a Jim-Pam kind of story, i honestly loved channel this so much, im wishing you two the best, send the weeding invitation pile 2!

₊˚ʚ 💙 ₊˚✧ ﾟPile 3:

Hi pile 3! Oooh my dearest pile 3, this story starts just when you think it's over. When you say "I'm not looking for anything else" and the universe laughs in your face and sends you this person who appears as if you had manifested them by accident (you could have tho, i feel your manifestation skills are on point). Suddenly you're going about your life, relaxed, and boom: someone speaks to you with such fresh, joyful energy that you don't even realize you're already liking them in two seconds. And it's not that they're coming with a plan to win you over. They're just who they are. They make you laugh without even trying. They say lovely things to you without even realizing it. They look at you with a frightening honesty because there's no ulterior motive, just desire. A desire to get to know you. A desire to share. A desire to be with you. And you, who were comfortable in your bubble, start to open up without realizing it. This person pursues you with authenticity. They invite you to random things. They send you beautiful songs. They tell you what they think without a filter, and they don't hold anything back. They're the kind who writes "I like you" and isn't embarrassed to death. They tell you they miss you and mean it. They don't need to make a fuss to keep you interested. They just make you want to stay. And when you see them interact with life, with their friends, with their family, with you, you understand that they're not faking. That it's not a mask to fall in love. It's simply them. And that kind of truth, that kind of light, is what makes you trust again. And just like that, without looking for it, without planning it, without expecting it… you fall. And you say thank you. Because finally this person feels like exactly what you needed, when you most thought it no longer existed (btw im so sorry if you had bad romantic expiriences before, non of them were your fault and you deserve all the love in the world pilr 3, sending you my love <3). You will be glowing with this person pile 3, and they will worship the ground you walk in, LITERALLY.

˖°𓇼💙⋆☁️🫧Thank you for reading and let me know if it resonated!˖°𓇼💙⋆☁️🫧

[princessbrunette]

Baby daddy rafe being hit on everyone at the country club and reader not being able to do anything cuz they’re not together<//33

🧸✧˖°❅🍥

you don’t even know why you come to this stupid place anymore.

you supposed it was to keep up appearances. you didn’t wanna be that girl that turned twenty, got pregnant and then disappeared off the radar. why should you have to live in shame of being a young parent if rafe cameron didn’t? you refused, hence why you were taking a quiet afternoon off, sitting with a glass of wine at the country club enjoying the sunshine before you’d have to return to motherhood.

you didn’t expect him to be there at the same time you were. you try it to be cool about it, because you knew you were not with him — but seeing him surrounded by a group of girls batting their lashes and twirling their hair up at him made you feel… icky. you were protective, you supposed. sure, you weren’t together but that was the father of your child. the wine gave you that little confidence boost, so you decide to go and intervene, make something up.

flattening out your sundress you totter over, briefly losing that confidence for a moment as you stand to the side, waiting for your turn to be noticed like the rest of them. when he does, he cuts the flirtatious laughter short to politely shoo them away, wandering over to you.

“hi.” you state bashfully, embarrassed that you have to take up any of his time as if he didn’t put a whole baby in your stomach.

“hey, uh… how’s my girl?” he asks, and for a brief hopeful moment you think he’s talking about you. your chest warms anyway.

“she’s good. sarah is babysitting right now.” you explain softly, finding it hard to hold the eye contact. your eyes drift over to the girls he was speaking to instead, noticing their jealous glares. rafe hums, bringing his beer bottle to his lips and taking a sip.

“‘long as she’s not letting my baby around those pogues.” he comments, displeased and your heart sinks a little. you hate when he’s disappointed. maybe your hormones were still all out of whack. “was there… something you needed from me?”

you blink up at him dumbly, conjuring up an excuse. “w— uh… i was wondering… when you wanted to see her?” you fiddle with your hands, body heating up at how ill prepared you were for this conversation. he blinks, shifting on his feet.

“do i not…come and see her every weekend? i dont…” he frowns, genuinely confused. your eyes widen as you nod.

“yeah, no — of course i was just… wondering if you wanted to see her during the week too or anything? if you maybe wanted to…come over just for a little while?” you shrug, trying to make it as casual as possible. he stares at you for a moment like he’s trying to read you before looking around.

“you— you know i’m a very busy man now and —” he starts but you cut him off, already too hurt to let him continue.

“yeah! no it’s okay i totally get it rafe. i don’t wanna impede, you’re already doing a lot and i don’t wanna ask too m—” you go to ramble politely, humiliated at the speed in which the fat tears spring to your eyes.

“hey— let me finish, alright?” he places two hands on your shoulders and you immediately shut up, blinking up at him tearfully. “what i was going to say, okay — is — is that i’m a busy man now, but… you say the word and… i’ll drop everything, yeah? whats the problem have — have you been struggling with… with the baby or, what?” he looks concerned. maybe it was fatherhood that was changing him but you could tell he genuinely gave a shit. no he wasn’t fully rid of his boyish troublesome ways but there had definitely been a shift and that was enough to relieve you. he watches the stress physically melt from your body, brow relaxing as you sigh.

“not a…problem, rafe really it’s okay i just… it can be a little lonely… and i suppose i just want her to see her parents interacting, show her that we’re okay with eachother you know? give her some healthy ideals.” you explain, but really he stopped listening after the word lonely.

“i—i didn’t know you were lonely like that, you know i… i wouldn’t let that happen… okay? i’ll come over. we’ll hang out… yeah?” one hand that was resting on your shoulder comes up to cup your cheek in emphasis and you so badly want to nuzzle into it, let him take the weight of your head. instead you just stare up with doe eyes.

“yeah.” it comes out as a whisper and he licks his lips, nodding in approval.

“alright then.”

you glance over to the glaring girls and your gaze darts downwards. “uh, i think i’m upsetting your girlfriends.” you chuckle awkwardly, going to step back. he glances over his shoulder, letting go over you before shrugging a shoulder carelessly.

“more like… god damn fan girls. those bit— uh, women won’t leave me alone.” he corrects himself, making a clear effort. “gonna go and find topper now, okay? you gonna be fine?” he takes a step back and you want him to stay but you nod anyway.

“see you, rafe.”

you have a warm feeling in your stomach when you leave the country club. you weren’t together, and only a few weeks ago you were telling people how glad you were that this was the case. but now things were different. his favouritism should have been clear due to the fact he’d knocked you up, and maybe it was pity, if that was something rafe was even capable of — but you didn’t care. rafe liked you the most.

🧸✧˖°❅🍥

[plush-rabbit]

Foggy Minds

Word Count: 4.7K A/N: I dont know his body!! So I tried to leave it ambiguous and yeah!! i also wrote this just for the ending bit

-

It’s a fucking joke. A cruel one. Angels- or at least Exterminators- are known for their cruelty. Raining down from above, a storm cloud that leaves red behind. Even after the destruction and death, the guts and gore that leave a lasting stench, the cruelty isn’t done. The angel Adam still has to bring torment down to Hell.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing is what he is. He can pretend he’s higher than the sinners down below, but he’s just as crude, if not more so than the worst of them here. It’s a tradition at this point for both you and him. He brings hell on hell, and a week later, he flies down once more, calling the club that you work at, demanding for you to be sent to the Heaven Embassy. However, as the next Extermination Day comes close, he’s called for your services once again. You wish you could say no, but he pays quite a lot for you, and you could always use the money.. 

You hate the walk there more than anything. It’s like everyone knows you’re off to go fuck the Exorcist. You look both ways before disappearing through the doors of the Embassy. Maybe they think you’re getting a meeting with- someone. 

The Embassy is empty, and every step you take echoes out in the room. You’re terrified. You always are. It never stops feeling like a trap. Even in the elevator on the way to the suite, you can only stare at the golden doors in front of you, your reflection distorted and twisted. 

If you’re going to be honest- you aren’t sure why it’s you who has to come up. It’s Adam- he’s bragged enough about how he can have anyone, and yet, he pays for a sinner’s cunt. You make sure to not feel special, to squash any pride down. Perhaps it’s too tedious to pay for another sinner or hellborn, and it’s best to just get what he knows will be a good fuck. You sigh and look away from your reflection and the glowing numbers. Still, you show up and do your job. You've taken better and worse clients. The angel is just someone in between. 

The doors open and you pass a few doors until you reach his suite. You don’t know why the Embassy has so many rooms, and when you tried to ask Adam, he made a comment about how you could have a fuck-a-thon, doing it in each room, and you sneered at the idea. 

Your suite- or rather his suite- is unlocked like always. You waste no time, stepping into the shimmering room. It’s livable. A kitchenette on one side, a bathroom with a wonderful shower tucked in the room, and a massive bed pushed to the end of the room. The room is bright, golds and blues, a deep dark wood carved into ornate decorations, and you feel out of place. It’s nice- far too nice for you to show up and defile it with what you’re going to do. The room never ceases to amaze you. There aren’t many places in Hell where the colors are bright and soft at the same time, where things look so pristine and untouched. When you once mentioned to Adam how nice the room was, he laughed and told you that there were far better rooms in Heaven. A part of you still wishes that he would have offered to show you- something, pictures, descriptions, anything. 

“Took you long enough!” The angel says, leaning back on the bed. “I pay for your entire time, ya know? From the walk from your whore house to the embassy, the least ya could do is hurry it up. I’m a very important angel, ya know?”

“You ordered me like last-”

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “I don’t want excuses.” His hand waves in the air, and he sits on the bed. “Come on, let’s get to it.” You roll your eyes at him as you walk closer. “Oi! Don’t roll your eyes at me,” his voice is laced with disgust, and you remember that he looks down on you- in more ways than you would care to admit. “Come on, strip.” Your hands go to unzip your skirt. “And make it good!”

You bite your tongue. Your shirt is the first to go. The action is slow, tantalizing as your fingers skim over your bare skin, and your skirt follows suit, pooling on the floor. You step out the fabric, and your heels click on the floor. Adam watches you, his hands scratching the bed covers. You spread your legs over his right, and grab his hands, letting them touch your ribs and then moving towards your back. 

You can feel the tips of his claws scratch at the clip of your bra. You press your cunt over his robe covered thigh, and grind over it softly. “Please, Adam,” you beg. “Take it off for me?” Your hands rest over his chest, and he watches as you grind yourself over him, your hands fisting over his robe, and you wonder for a moment if maybe you did a bad thing- if this was the wrong move. But then your bra straps fall down your shoulders, and it’s discarded somewhere in the room.

You hiss when his mouth suckles on a breast, the other breast being pinched and pulled at. He sucks so softly, letting his tongue roll over the swelling bud, teething at it so you hiss and arch yourself further into him. You can feel a wet spot grow, and you can’t help but rock yourself over your thigh. The other breast is manhandled, twisted and pinched that has you gasping and fisting holy fabric in your sinner hands. 

You're pushed off and his hands claw over your hip. You get the memo, and peel off your underwear, the wetness of it noticeable, and the only mention of it is when Adam pockets your underwear. You wish you bought another pair with you. The heels are tossed aside, and strong hands push you down from your shoulders. You fall onto your knees with a hiss, and you know what you have to do.

-

“And- And- Oh fuck, that’s it, baby-” He hisses, his head tilted back. The hand fisted into your hair tightens, sharp stinging encouraging you to swallow more so he could let go. “I’m just saying that why would you settle for anything less than-” A moan interrupts his monologue and you look at him through glossy eyes. “Oh fuck. It’s like a fucking gift to suck me off.”

A string of spit and pre-ejaculate connects to your lips as you pull away. It’s thick and white, and you’re gasping for hair, a hand wrapped around the base of his cock and you push yourself to swallow his package, fitting the pair into your mouth as your hand pumps his length. He’s breathing heavily, and you know he's upset at the loss of contact with your mouth with the way that his hand tangles itself into your hair, but his mask is twisted, and you pop them out of your mouth. Your mouth feels dry despite the excess spit- you suppose it’s the salty taste that lingers. 

You take him back in your mouth, eager, and begging for him to just spill his seed already. Your cheeks hollow, and he’s heavy on your tongue. Your tongue swirls over a vein, and you can feel him twitching.

“Fuck, I’m close,” he hisses, his hands cradling your head. You hum, and brace yourself, your hands holding at his thighs, bracing yourself for him to thrust forward. His hands tighten, and he thrusts into your mouth. You gag around him, your throat constricting around him. It’s a horrid sound, loud and hollow, and acid threatens to bubble over. As he continues to pump himself into you, spit dribbles from the corner of your lips and you’re grateful that you were ordered to remove your clothes. 

“That’s right, take it. Oh fuck, fuck-” a string of curses fills the room, and he’s unrelenting, pushing deeper into your throat. A hand slips to grab at your breast, eyes squinting when you can feel the spit coat over your chest. Your other hand tightens around Adam’s thigh, your nails pinching into him.

Your fingers pinch over your nipple, rolling it over, desperate to take your mind off of the assault of your mouth. His thrusts get deeper and harsher, and he’s still in the back of your throat, holding you down. Curses mutter in the air, sharp and slurring together, and he keeps his eyes on you. The eye contact is far too much, the piercing eyes boring into your entire being, and it must be some type of power play for him. You choose to focus on the base of his cock. With your nose pressed into his pubic bone, you cough around him, and finally he pulls away, his seed laying thick on your tongue. Tears wet your face and mix with your spit and the drops of his seed. 

He grabs your chin and you open your mouth, showing the mess that he’s made. Letting go, you stay still, as he taps his cock on your face. It’s tacky with your spit and leaves you feeling much filthier than you would like to admit. You hold the seed in your mouth and he gives a nod, and you make a show of swallowing, and open your mouth to show him. “Did you want me to do a blessing before you swallow?”  He teases. “With my holy cum, I grant you the opportunity to fuck me.” He chuckles at his joke.

“Thank you, Adam,” you murmur, hoping that the soreness on your jaw will go away.

“You know, you could learn how to relax your throat. You’d think after doing this for a living, your gag reflex wouldn't be a thing.” You send him a dirty look, and his grin widens. “So fucking sensitive. What did you want me to tell you? That you were good?”

You aren’t sure what mood he’s in at the moment. Sometimes you can tell when he wants to fight with you- where he wants to punish you and call you a sinner as he ravages you, but then there are moments when he wants you to beg for him, to tell him how good he is, how you want his cock more than anything. But at the moment with your skull pounding and jaw sore, you spit out a simple, “Fuck you.” His grin widens, and he hoists you up onto the bed. The stickiness on your face ruins the soft comforter, and you feel too dirty to even touch something so nice.

“I was going to be nice and just fuck you, but shit, you had to talk back.” 

A hand grips at your rear, and a finger teases at your hole. You hiss at the contact, and you're glad you’re face down or else you’d never hear the end of it of how flustered you must look. As if reading your mind, he flips you over, your face exposed and your hands immediately cover the lower half. 

“Adam-” you squeal, instinctively trying to close your legs only to have them pried apart. 

“Don’t worry,” he says casually. “I just wanna look at how wet you got just from sucking on me.” A finger traces against your slick and you watch as he tastes the finger. “Damn, I should have let you keep your panties on if I knew you were going to get this wet.” A finger enters and you squirm, suckling the intrusion further into your softness. “You’re soaked. And all you had to do was suck me off. You know, if I could keep you, I would.” He enters another finger, pushing the two inside until he’s at the knuckles. “I’d give you a nice collar, a nice bed, and all you would have to do is be my little cocksleeve.” He pulls out, and thick strings of slick connect his fingers back to your cunt. He returns his fingers to your cunt, now with the addition of a third. It’s a wide stretch, a sharp pain being overridden with pleasure. “I bet you’d like that. You’d live a pampered life, and all you have to do is keep your pussy spread open for me.” 

With a yank, you’re pulled further into the bed. The comforters make a soft noise, but the bed itself doesn’t creak. You watch with half-lidded eyes, focused as he rests on his knees beside you, his cock growing, the scent of it enough to make you go dizzy. You brush your cheek against it, licking at the side of it when he thrusts his fingers into you.

You sit on the bed, his cock pressed against your face, and with a mind too delirious to think of anything else, you pull him into your mind, lazily bobbing his head, as his fingers scissor inside of you. 

You breathe heavily, your mind growing fuzzy with the stimulation. He’s slow and lazy, massaging the inside of your gummy walls as he looks down at you taking his cock once more. A hand brushes your hair away from your face, and you pull away, pecking at his cockhead, nuzzling the glistening head against your lips. It isn’t enough for you, and you swallow him once more, humping into his hand when he gives a smart smack to your cunt. 

“Turn around,” he orders, and you scamper to do so. You don’t get a moment to prepare yourself, until he’s bullying himself inside of you. Your hands claw at the comforter, and with watery eyes, you see the fabric tear apart underneath your claws. “You’re clamping down hard around me,” he breathes out, and you buck your hips, trying to feel him deeper into you.

Above you, he's heavy, and selfish, pumping into you relentlessly. The sound of skin slapping against skin is harmonized by your moans. He grunts above you, whispering strings of obscenities and few words of praise linger in the air.

“Oh fuck,” he grunts out, “so fucking good.” His breath is hot against you, fanning out into feathered tickles that touch at your body. He’s never been one for intimacy before reaching his peak, always preferring to be lustful, so you never expect him to actually kiss you, but in moments where he rights just at the right spot, you’d wish he do a little more to make it feel something other that whatever this all is.

His body is pressed against your back, hands squirming underneath to grab at your breasts. His hands are rough and unforgiving, pulling and pinching his nails into your soft skin, You can feel the warmth of his breath against your neck, puffing and huffing, murmurs about how you feel wrapped around him, and you bury your face into the comforter. Your mouth is slacked open, spit pooling down, as your moan helplessly around him, body taut and nerves feeling as if they’re on fire. 

“No fucking wonder you’re a sinner,” he seethes out, his thrusts harsh and deep, enough to have you see stars and think about how as selfish as he can, he feels so good. “With a pussy this good, I bet you had everyone lined up for just a taste.” You let out a low whine. “Yeah, I bet you did. No wonder you were hired at that sex joint. Did you have to fuck the owner to get in? Ha?” His tone is wicked, and you’re unsure if it’s his words or the fact that you’re so close as to what is making you tear up. His weight above you shifts, and by your hair, you’re yanked back. You yelp and tighten around him, tears slipping down. “I asked you a question.”

“I didn’t-” you yelp as he continues to bully himself inside of you- “I didn’t hear it, ’m sorry,” you mumble, your scalp stinging with pain. 

“Too fucked up on my dick to even think,” he hisses, pushing you down onto the bed. He pulls himself out, and you whimper, shaking your head and pushing yourself closer to him, your cunt weeping for more of him. “A cock hungry slut is all you are, huh?” His cock is pulled out, and he watches you whine, your cunt gaping and leaking slick that makes your thighs glisten. 

“Adam, please,” you moan, turning your head to look over your shoulder. You can feel the drool stick to the side of your lips. 

“Please what?” he spits out, his eyes flickering to yours, before returning to your ruined sex.

You let a whimper, high-pitched and desperate. You fall back to the bed, your eyes looking forward, and your hand slips underneath you, fingers peeking towards your cunt, feeling the warmth drip onto your fingertips. “I want more,” you tell him, your words muffled by the comforter. “I want you,” you tell him, hoping that he’d take pity on you for a moment.

The tip of his cock brushes itself against your opening, and you clench around it, your body aching for more. “Nah, you have to do better than that.” Your cries are shushed, brows furrowed and you’re turned over onto your back, “Come on, I’ve heard you beg before.” Two of his fingers enter you, thrusting in painfully slow. “You know what to say already.” Your chest rises and falls rapidly, your fingers twisting the bed sheets into spirals. You shake your head, humping pathetically into his hand. “I promise to make ya feel real good.” 

“Adam,” you croak. He pulls his fingers out, and tears gluten over your lashes. “Please, I wanna be fucked.” Your legs tense when you feel the tip of his cock nestle itself inside of you. “I’m just a filthy sinner who needs-” you yelp when he thrusts himself inside of you, the entire lengths filling you nicely- “needs to be fucked by your holy dick.” His hands curve over your hips, scratching softy over your skin. 

“A little more, honey, and I’ll ruin that demon pussy for you.” His hands curve over your hips, scratching softly over your skin, his voice low and sweet for you.

“Adam,” you plead, your hands curving over your breasts, “I need you,” you whisper in a haze. “I need your cock in me, I wanna cum real bad. I need you. I need you to fuck my sinner pussy.”

He gives you a lazy smile, and gives a nonchalant shrug. “Good enough.” He pushes himself inside of you. Your stomach coils into a heat, and you suck in a harsh breath when his fingers slip to rub at the bundle of nerves between your legs. “You have a fucking grip on my dick. What is it? Are you close?” You let out a broken moan. Your legs kick up, and wrap around him. “If I cum in you, you’re dealing with it.” His grin is sharp and predatory, and it only makes you drag your hands down his arms.

Your hands reach up, and you hold the sides of his neck, your hands curving behind, and you just feel tufts of hair peek from underneath the mask. A hand reaches to grab your wrist, holding it tightly, and you’re sure you’re going to have a bruise afterward. “You fuckin’ slut,” he spits out. “You think just because you got my mask off last time, I’ll let you look at me again?”

“Adam,” you whimper out, scratching at the back of his neck with your free hand, “please. I just wanna look,” you slur out. You know you’ll regret saying those things when you’ve sobered from him, but sex always did make you softer, needier. You think that must be why he decided to continue to hire you- to see you pant for him and stroke his ego. “You’re so pretty, I wanna see,” you lament. “I wanna- I just- I wanna look at you when I cum,” you stumble over your words, your fingertips tapping against the bottom of the mask. The golden eyes narrow at you, and you can only look for so long until you turn your attention elsewhere.

His mask is tossed to the side, and his irises glow. The hand that holds your wrist loosens, and you cup over his cheek, the stubble on his chin scratching at your palm. “Fuck- Oh fuck,” you hiss out, your heart beating against your chest rapidly. “I’m gonna- Oh my- Adam! Fuck,” you hiss, the knot in your stomach tightening, a pressure building more and more until you’re sure that you’ll burst. 

Even as your body shakes, he doesn’t stop. He continues moving his hips, pushing all of himself inside of you, his breath coming out in pants above you, his smile sharp and face flushed. A hand wraps around your neck, and you arch yourself into it, whining and mumbling at how your cunt is still too sensitive, how he has to slow down, but he coos at you, and he tells you how good you’re benign for him, and you hold onto his wrist with your hands. 

Adam places his face close to yours, his lips and breath fanning above yours, and you’re stuck staring at his eyes, unable to look away from the gold in front of you. You lick your lips, and you brush against his. He stares at you, and your face burns. 

He gives shallow thrusts, and is still inside of you, and you can feel him. You can feel the heat, and the stickiness leaks out of you. He keeps himself there, and hides himself into the crook of your neck. After a moment, he slips out, and you can feel the heaviness of his seed weep out of you in slow and heavy drools. 

You lay in the afterglow, chest heaving and sweat and more sticking to your skin. Your body is on pins and needles, and laying on top of the soft bedding, you could fall asleep right then and there. Nestled into a pile of feathers and gold, you could die- again- and be happy with it. 

But then the man- the first man- groans and you remember that this isn't the time to play house. You have a job. Or rather, you had one, and now you have to return. You lift yourself up into a sitting position, and you stare at the bathroom. A part of you wants to take a shower, but you fear that if you even just tasted what luxury is, you’d have to be pried out of the embassy. 

With a sigh, you lift yourself off of the body and gather your clothes. The lack of underwear is something that you frown upon, but when you look back to the angel, with the demand for its return, you can’t bring yourself to ask for it. You’ve walked around without it before when customers got handsy, this is nothing. Your skirt is tight, and long enough that only a pervert would tell. 

“So,” he trails off, lying on his back, “do you wanna cuddle or something?”

Your eyes widen, and as you flatten your skirt, you thin your lips. “Uh, no. No thanks, Adam. I’m uh- I’m good.” You straighten your top, and tap your heels against the floor, the sharp click echoes in the chambers. 

“Whatever,” he huffs, “I was just gonna psych you out anyways.” He waves his hand, and cool air rushes around you. 

You let out a sigh, looking at the mirror where you stared at yourself just a bit ago. Your hands play with your hair, making sure that when you leave, it won’t look like you just slept with someone. You hum, and tilt your head from side to side, trying to find some sort of mark that would have to be hidden. However, the cool air- his own magic or blessing- has fixed any evidence of indecency on you.

“The extermination is next month,” Adam sighs. Your eyes flick up, and you catch him staring at you- golden eyes piercing into your own, unblinking and unbothered. 

“I’m aware,” you tell him, returning to look at yourself in the mirror. You stand straight and let out a sharp sigh. “I think some of the residents are already panicking.”

“Are you?”

Your stomach knots itself, and you remember when you were first bought by Adam- the nervousness, the disgust, the bile burning your throat. It’s all too familiar at this moment. You shrug. “I don’t think it’s set in yet,” you mumble. 

“I’ll come by the night before.” You look at the white tiles- the grout filled with shimmering gold, and the tiles patterned with silver and gold lines. “I’ll leave the back door unlocked like last time.” He doesn’t say the words nicely, it’s more like an afterthought, as if telling you this is a bother, but still, he tells you this, and one thing you've learned about Adam is that he hasn't lied to you yet. You fist the hem of your skirt in your hands, and nod. It’s silent, and then he starts again, annoyance laced into his words. “What do we say?”

“Thank you, Adam,” you tell him in a beat. 

“Yeah, well, I can't have my favorite whore die.” His wings unfurl and stretch across the bed. The tips of the feathers reach just beyond the mattress, and you shrug. The words hang heavy in the air, and you feel small compared to him. In the mirror, you can see his reflection, his  mouth thinning, and his eyes narrowing. “I- uh- I still have you for ten more minutes.” You make eye contact with him in the mirror. “Get back here. I wanna suck on your tits.”

You stick your tongue out, and your hips sway as you walk towards him, your heels falling carelessly to the floor as you rest beside him. His hands are cold as they peel off your shirt and without a care, he tosses it to the foot of the grand bed. A hand cups at your breast, and you can feel his breath fan over your chest, and you wait to feel his teeth bite at you, but you never do. The wetness of his lips trace over the swell of your breast, a peck pressed against the bud, but never swallowing it. Your chest is heavy with his weight on top of you, and the hand on your breast unfurls and curves over your ribs. His wings expand, and they partially cover you, the softness of them akin to the finest blanket in what only money can buy. 

Realization as what he’s doing has your body heating, and you worry that he can tell with the way that he’s laid bare on your chest, and yet, he makes no snide comments. This is far more intimate than anything you’ve ever done before. With a harsh swallow, your arm wraps around him, your hand reaching upwards to scratch at the back of his head. Your hands knot into his hair, your nails dully scratching along his scalp. He lets out a low hum in response, nuzzling his cheek over your bare skin in approval. 

With a shaky breath, you break the silence. “You know, I was thinking, that maybe I’d uh, give that Hazbin Hotel a shot.” You feel his hands scratch over your ribs, straight, and piercing, and they cling to you as his breath hitches. “I’m not sure I believe in the whole redemption thing, but free housing is nice.” You feel him nod slowly, and you twirl a piece of his hair around your finger. He gives you a short answer, one that is mumbled into your skin and doesn't make its way to you, and his wings inch further up covering more of your body as he brushes his lips against the swell of your breast. You don’t look at the time even when you feel that he’s grown heavier on your body.

[ao3scrapesearch]

hi so, thanks to your tool i was able to figure out that every fic ive ever posted onto ao3 (from 2015 to recent, aside from three fics this last month i just posted) were all scraped, and its absolutely horrifying to me to know my works are being used in this way. this is hundreds of thousands of words of time, and is over 90% of all of the writing ive ever shared online, spread over multiple accounts and fandoms and im just feeling- so dejected. i know youre not an advice blog or anything, and i really appreciate the work youve done to help people find this information. im just curious- do you have any advice when it comes to dealing with this knowledge? i dont want to delete my fics and take them from people who enjoy them, and i want to continue to write and see others read my works. but its just so dejecting knowing what theyre being used for now. that i dont have any control over what is done with my own passion projects because some company can show up and just take it and use it in some environment-poisoning misinformation machine

I wasn't expecting to be ASKED for advice when I made the blog! But I give it my best shot for you guys when I can.

So to ME, it's a bit reassuring to see that the data isn't like. Amazingly collected, if that makes sense. If I were looking for a dataset to generate good writing, a huge thing I would want is a way to know what readers actually liked. For the record, having a low hit or kudos count or whatever does not mean your fic isn't good! (You can have a low hit count because your fandom isn't big or because you're not tagging your fic in a way to help the right people discover it, but the fic can still be amazing.) BUT if I were an outsider not looking to actually read the fics, just figure out what about the writing makes people like them, the top thing I'd be looking for is the stats like the hits, kudos, comments, and bookmarks. Nyuuzyou intentionally tried to exclude that data, which is... an interesting decision.

The choice of forum is telling, too. They chose to upload on Hugging Face, which is for AI hobbyists, not corporate models. These are people like you and me, just doing this as a hobby for fun, and it's pretty unlikely they'll ever create something they can sell from this. Yes, they're killing the environment with it, which I hate, but they're doing it on a much smaller scale than any of the commercial names in AI. Very similar to how you can post a fic and even get tens of thousands of hits and tons of positive interactions, but that doesn't mean you also publish traditional novels and make tens of thousands of dollars.

Again, for me, it also helps to remind myself that hey. They're already out there. Even if I take down all 60-ish of my fics that were hit in this scrape, that data is still out there, but if I delete them, it's ONLY out there as a stupid AI-training dataset, and I've cut out my readers entirely. Deleting the ones that were already scraped doesn't un-scrape them, and to me, it feels like letting the scrapers win if they get my writing AND I don't get to share my writing anymore.

For new writing going forward, that's definitely a place to make a personal decision! I've said a couple times I'm going to keep writing and sharing anyway because I love it, but that's not The One Right Way to do things.

I also am in the same boat as I've seen some people in my notes. A lot of my scraped fics were uh. Not my best work. Like I was prolific in 2018 and man... those fics were not super well-written. Text-based GenAI is trained to learn the order words should appear, based on probabilities. So if there's a lot of bad, boring works in there (and there definitely are! we all start out by posting mediocre writing!), that teaches the AI model to write bad, boring sentences. Most of us aren't tagging our fics in a way to tell a computer which fics are like this, so the AI doesn't know which fics are written by beginners who still don't know how to write well or who don't know English very well yet, and at least from what I know, the AI is going to treat those works like they're just as valid as the 100k+ novels we all know and love. All that comes together to make a shitty AI model that no one really wants to use, even if they're otherwise super pro-AI.

I'll round this off with a silly little book recommendation, but this book seriously changed the way I think about life in general and definitely impacted how I was able to take the scraping well enough and focus on being productive about it instead of just upset. The big takeaway from it is that no one can fully control their circumstances, but everyone has the ability to control the way they react to those circumstances. No one can control AI scrapers being scumbags, but we all get to choose how to respond to it happening.

[m33moe]

A rant abt eltingville boys in relationships and wip eltingville oc mini rant

I rlly wanna post my eltingville oc because I just got into it not too long ago (like 3-4 weeks ago) but I'm nervous for some reason. Idk 😒

I think its partially because she isn't finalized yet (Because I can't decide if I wanna do a girly oc or nerdy or mix. I don't wanna do something stereotypical for my own sanity) and also because Oc x canon ships are hard to realistically do with those slimy incels because irl THEY would not slide. I especially have a hard time headcanoning them because I feel like unless its coming from Evan dorkins mouth himself it isn't realistic. Maybe I'll just have to get over that I dunno??? It's also like no matter what I do I feel like they'd hate my oc and idk how to properly represent a relationship blooming out of that (although it would never work long term)

I feel like relationship wise for bill itd be a lot of off and on relationships with the same person (because we both know he couldn't bag more than one person ever.) or he'd have a people pleaser partner because I've been around people like him and you usually wanna stroke their egos or get verbally attacked. Would definitely need a listener partner and PLEASE ask him questions about anything he knows. I know this guy loves to mansplain. Would definitely make off handed remarks about his partners intelligence (and I hate to say it but especially if said partner was a girl) I feel like he once asked why you don't look like the girls in the comics. If you're hard enough on him he may learn SOME Manners. Not clingy in public or around the club.

obviously Jerry is also not innocent but he obviously wasn't beyond fixing so I feel like after a consistant relationship he'd be kinda ok-ish? While also still having moments where he tries to please his friends over his partner or let's his friends make comments about said partner. He's better not around his friends but you still have to give him talks on boundaries and respect because he slips up. I feel like him and his partner would get in fights about the club and how they treat people. I feel like he would ask once If you want to play D&D with him but bill yelled at him for even considering inviting you. No girls club!!! Holds your hand in public or arm around your shoulder but that's it. More cuddly in private.

Josh I think would also be VERY iffy. I feel like he has his good days and his bad days. I don't think Josh could have a partner that also makes fun of him. I mean the club already does that enough and I feel like he'd definitely blow up at any MILD off handed comment out of habit. Definitely superrrrr insecure. Like dont even look at someone too long. I do fear each of these boys would accuse their partner of showing off because they like attention but it's more popular with Josh. I feel like Josh would have higher standards for his partner than his partner would have for him. Isn't exempt from telling his partner their a "lil chubby" and he doesn't like that but don't EVER say he's not one to talk unless you want all out war. Has to be on you at ALL times. I get very helicopter bf vibes from him.

Now for Pete I feel like he'd like the stereotypical girly girls although he'd take a more tomboy if it REALLY came down to it(none of their datings pools are very large) in a relationship i feel like he be a makes gross comments in public typa guy (I mean all of these boys aren't exactly good people in their own ways) would definitely show you his horror girl magazine's and laugh at any uncomfortable emotions you have (would probably call you weak) you definitely have to keep an eye on him because I do think his eyes wander A LOT (all the boys would but I definitely think he'd do it the most) will call you an over protective gf even if you're not. I feel like he'd like a somewhat stubborn partner tho believe it or not. Idk thats all I can really think of for pete

Also keep it mind these boys are icky people. We all know they're perverts and incels and whatnot. These are just how I think they'd be and I'm probably not even close but I've read about and been around enough of these guys to have a slight grasp on them???

I'll probably make more detailed relationship headcanons/ ideas with the club including epilogue versions?? Also can u tell who my favorite is?? 😭

Eltingville being my hyperfixation was not on my list of 2025 things

(Obviously still finishing the oc challenge for my Naruto Oc(s))

[4pfsukuna]

Awkward (N. Kento)

Theres just not enough fics of Nanami with black women outside of just smut..so here i am with smut but theres plot based on sza songs Awkward 

Time passing.

Nanami still has no idea how Gojo convinced him to attend his silly little holiday party. Knowing Gojo it would be loud, eccentric and lots of alcohol involved. Plus the fact that Gojo knew everybody and it looks like he’s invited everyone Nanami was ready to leave.

But Gojo made him promise to have one drink…just one. Plus he made some know it all comments about Nanami being a workaholic who was probably just going to go home look at stuff for work and do even more overtime spending the holidays alone. He always ragged on him about extra work but the alone part cut deep this time because it reminded him of his ex girlfriend the one he almost proposed to on the night of their anniversary, ring in pocket but he ended up getting stuck with over time, losing track of time and leaving her to sit alone at the restaurant for 2 hours. 

What was suppose to be a happy night was anything but and by 12:01am he was single. Bringing his cup to his lips he’s ready to take a sip but stops when he hears a laugh he’ll never forget.

The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—

“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.

He was sure of Two things in this moment. 1. His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.

“Oh let me introduce you to my friend Miyoshi, shes an interior designer. Designed all my homes boring career so you two might actually have something in common since you like boring stuff” Gojo insults while placing a napkin in his friends hand basically dragging him over to the woman through the crowd.

What? This was not at all how he planned on talking to you, what was he suppose to say? Would you even acknowledge him? Your curly fro had been straightened so it was now mid back with a slight red tint and he vaguely remember you saying a girl dyes her hair red when she’s over a man and there’s no chance for him ever again. Oh god you hated him. Was the room always this hot?

You turn around finally setting your eyes on the two of them and downing whatever was left in your cup. 

“Miyoshi, meet my friend Nanami kento. Kento this is Miyoshi” Gojo introduces and the air becomes thick with tension as you two awkwardly smile at another Nanami unable to keep your gaze on him.

Time passing by.

“Yosh” Nanami breaks the silence at the same time she speaks “nami”. Old habits die hard, the nicknames from another pouring from their lips shocking Gojo.

“You two know each other?” The white hair man ask which only confuses him more when you say no but he says yes.

He goes to ask the question neither of you wanted to answer but luckily is stopped by hearing the pur of his name from Geto who he waste no time following forgetting all about you two. 

“Can i get you another drink? Im sorry about Gojo and bombarding you like that” Nanami ask nodding at your cup watching as you exhale glossed lips forming your usual slight pout.

You nod as he leads you by the small of your back to the bar his hand burning a imprint on your lower back and you're grateful when he moves it to toss the napkin in his other hand away.

“Strawberry Lemon drop and a whiskey on the rocks” he tells the bartender before quickly looking over at you dropping apologies.

“Sorry you probably dont even like that anymore, i shouldnt have assumed! Ill—“ he starts ranting only for you to laugh, placing a hand on his forearm sitting on the stool.

“Still as charming as ever, its still my favorite drink” you smile the nerves leaving your body but filling his to the brim. Why was he so nervous? Of course his stoic poker face never dropped once but that was how he was.

“Its nothing, just wanna make sure you’re taken care of” he speaks so easily before you could respond or even react The drinks are quickly placed in front of you.

You wanted to know what the hype was all about

“So how have you been?” He ask downing half of his drink in one gulp. You follow suit licking the sugar off the rim unaware of how his eyes watch  and his grip tightens slightly on his glass.

“Are we really going to play this game kento? Fine. Ive been traveling exploring growing healing i finally quit the company and started my own business finding rich men like Gojo who have more money than they know what to do with and creating clients out of them” you shrug sipping the drink watching him smile… somewhat proud.

“Congratulations. Sorry if im prying—“ Nanami finishes his drink only for you to cut him off.

“No!” You say a bit louder than expected before clearing your throat. “No i… i just dont understand how you can sit here like everything ended— like nothing happened and were just old friends catching up” you ask confused, of course you wanted to talk to him 3 and ½ years with someone over in one night and now 4 years later here both of you are.

The nerves were back.

Then we fucked a little bit and I was out, Did not say bye

“Kento i broke up with you, fucked you one last time for my own closure and ghosted you in the middle of the night with no way of ever contacting me. Not my best moment” you finally speak on the elephant in the room another round of drink places infront of you two.

“Compliments of master satorou” the bartender nods before attending to other guest leaving no time to protest.

“I wouldve atleast like to remain friends but i understand.  You left with a bang… quite literally” he jokes trying to ease the tension showing off that jokester part of him that only youve seen.

And now for the word vomit , you couldn’t even stop it if you wanted.

“Friends? Our love was different…too strong for that. It was worth it,I would do it again.I know you hurt me,This is more than a friendship” you speak running over your finger your rim collecting sugar along the sides of your fresh acrylic nails. 

When you don’t hear anything from him (honestly what are you expecting? You just admitted you loved him so much youd go through the heartbreak a second time just to experience that love again) you look up watching as he loosens his tie.

Fuck. “Sorry”

“I made it awkward” which he chuckles at taking your jaw in his large hand forcing your eyes to look up at him. Your heart racing in your chest at the familiar contact

“I miss you”he finally slips the stoic façade falling all his emotions on display for you to see and suddenly the room feels 10 degrees hotter.

“I— why did you let me do it?” You ask and for a simple sentence it was so loaded. You can tell by the way the tips of his ears burn red.

“This isnt the place for that conversation” he speaks finally letting go of your chin turning back towards his drink and you exhale he was right. The awkward tension was back and you despised it.

“My home is 10 minutes away… we can really talk there if youd like” he suggest looking over his watch and i glance around at the party in full swing before back at him.

“Yeah”

When you two make it to his home you cant help the nostalgic grin. This was completely him, nothing out of place every color scheme matches because its all shades of white creme or beige. Everything looks super clean and super expensive.

“Would you like anything to drink? Or eat?” He ask heading to the kitchen after placing your coats on the rack.

“Wine… although ive probably drunk enough” you giggle taking a seat on the couch and he follows with two wine glasses and the bottle. But Nanami always had the best wine and knew the best pairings.

Downing the first cup you lick your lips until you feel his fingers brushing down hair with the rest. When you look over at him hes already stairing at you… admiring and its pure love. Everything starts to feel surreal and you really remember the last time you were with him— alone.

Can we still love on each other?

“Do you still love me?” You ask curiously before you have time to even realize what youre saying and he doesnt even look phased.

“Did you ever stop?” He questions looking at you over his wine glass setting it back on the coffee table next to the bottle looking away to hide the look in his eyes. Sighing you rest your cup next to his, lip gloss staining the glass.

Can we still touch on eachother.

Reaching up to play with his tie being unkept from him fiddling with it you only loosen it further unbuttoning the top 3 buttons just like you did when you two were still— fuck.  

You freeze but that doesnt discourage him feeling the coolness of your hands through the shirt bringing his full attention to you and youve completely taken over all of his senses. 

Can we still not judge  each other?

You still never answered the question just focused on his tie and froze. He curses at himself.

I make it awkward.

“I…im still inlove with you kento, never stopped” you finally say looking up at him glossy eyes and thats all he needs leaning forward placing his lips on yours the taste of alcohol and cherry lip gloss makes him melt. He kisses you delicately, scared to scare you off and even if you regret it the taste of your lips one last time would get him through a lifetime of over time.

Its when you sigh and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth is when he decides he needs you and he needs your weight on him. Pulling you so youre straddling his lap his hands slowly roaming your body still scared of sudden movements scaring you and wanting to map out every curve of your body missing the way you felt. Getting so lost in your brown skin he almost looses his thought. The one thing he promised hed tell you if he ever seen you again.

I can not love everybody

And hes confessing like a sinner in church or a man on judgement day because you are everything holy and he was ready to admit. 

“I could never be with anybody after you, no woman is you”

But you isn't anybody

“You took my heart with you when you left and only left a tiny piece left. And with that tiny piece all i could do is think about how much im in love with you. Want to be with you forever just us two” he breathes looking you dead in your eye so you know hes serious. Serious about you. Serious about this. Serious about yall.

You look at me different

You couldnt help but to see a different side of him. And not just the jokester side you seen earlier but a more mature Nanami Kento, a more considerate and loving Nanami kento. His lover boy era perhaps?! The heat pools inbetween your legs more than it had been all night as you two keep eye contact.

So I let you see my body

Pulling your dress over your head revealing the black lace matching panties and bra set he adjust in the seat.

“Proove it”

Body, body, body

“Youre going to be the absolute death of me, im sure of it” he admits his lips going to your neck trailing down the valley of your breast hands groping and squeezing them. His tongue licks over your cloth covered nipple pinching the other one causing a slight moan. Grabbing your hands to place on his shirt the signal to keep unbuttoning his hands go to your cheeks cupping as he begins kissing you harder tongue infiltrating your mouth.

And now we don't speak at all Now I regret it all

4 years without this? How could you? You were still absolutely positively madly in love with him. Missing him so much your lips dont disconnect at all even when he stands to walk toward his bedroom your fingers running through his hair at the nape of his neck pulling a soft moan from him. You don’t register the movement until your back is being layed in the softness of his bed.

Still, it was worth it

I would do it again

His lips trail down the valley of your breast again making sure to savor the taste of your brown skin before his tongue swirls over your brown nipple listening to your soft pants. He switches over to the other one, your lace bra being unhooked in the front by his mouth… he always did have a talented mouth.  

His lips continue their assault until they reach your panties kissing your lips through the lace earning a shiver before his teeth are pulling your underwear off and damn what a sight.

You can feel him breathing over your core making you nervous wanting to close your legs unaware of the way hes using his photographic memory to remember how gorgeous you look right now.

“Ken— mmph” his tongue glides against your folds with ease and your sure hes thought about this often because the way his tongue is delicated over every spot that makes you tingle is driving you insane. 

“Missed the way you taste sweetheart” he indulges using his first two fingers to open up your slick folds giving him access to what he really wants. His tongue swirls around once, twice, three times before fully latching onto your clit pulling a loud whine from you. 

Music to his ears he wants to make you do it again, show you hes sorry, beg for another chance fuck he was on his knees face burried into your dripping cunt and nothing outside of the two of you mattered right now. Using those two fingers he presses into your core moaning as you squeeze your legs around his head the need to cum building up when he twist his fingers with a delicious curl.

“K-kento i… im fuck” you begin writhing under his mouth hands gripping at the sheets as he keeps a slow sensual pace making sure you feel the apology. But hes a selfish man, he thinks, because the minute you cum hes lapping up every drop yet still wont give you a second to recover. You deserved it.

His tongue replaces his fingers, fucking you as his thumb swirls around your clit watching every face of exstacy you make, the way the lights from the city shine through the room bouncing off the soft brown of your skin. 

He just wants one more only one and when your hands tangle in his blonde hair holding him in place forcing him to watch you fall apart on his tongue his dick twitches in his boxers precum spilling from the tip.

“NANAMI” you shout the highest pitch hes ever heard your voice before orgasming on his lips his movements never stopping as he pushes you into your third one of the night, he needed your taste engraved in his brain… and tongue. The sounds of your heavy breaths grabs his attention and he grins watching the heat of the room make your hair curl back up with a slight friz. Just the way he loved it.

Though hes shocked when you lurch forward pulling him by his cheeks to place an open mouth his tongue swirling around his mouth tasting yourself and a hint of alcohol.

Hes nervous when you pull back, afraid you may regret it and be ready to walk out until your trembling fingers push his unbuttoned shirt off over the planes of his muscles taking your time feeling them even when his shirt falls to the floor. 

Next is his belt buckle and he feels like hes shaking from anticipation watching you do this. He cant help himself and leans back in for another kiss your lipgloss long gone. Sliding everything off in one push your eyes widen at his length thats dripping precum in a way youve never seen before that makes you lick your lips wanting to get every drop but he leans forward pulling your chin up to him.

“Maybe later love,” and the nickname hurts. He always called you that after being away on a long business trip or extremely long nights at work when he strolled in after midnight.

He grabs his thick length pumping a few times before lining it up with your core and the air is thick again. With anticipation…

Longing…

Need…

Unspoken apologies…

I know you hurt me, but

But this is deeper than friendship now

Nodding giving him the okay he slides in making you  gasp and he captures your lips in a groan the burn of him stretching you out as his dick slides in is welcomed. Its like your walls were made just for him. Though you dont expect the string of apologies he begins letting out and tears prick your eyes as you pull him close one hand on his spine the other tangled in his hair.

Let's keep it awkward

He doesnt move for a second and you understand the hesitation. You knew what this meant. He just needed a little motivation.

I think we're ready for it, yeah, mmh

Squeezing you core he groans sending a sharp thrust into you burrying his face in your shoulder. He slowly pulls back just to the tip sliding back in with the same sharp thrust releasing a grunt before picking up your thigh pressing it against your chest. The gasp leaves your mouth as you struggle to think straight nails digging into his back pulling him closer. It seems your claws in his back does nothing but turn him on more.

His lips begin kissing down your neck sucking and leaving a trail of hickeys because even if he couldnt have you past tonight he would leave his mark and let it be known you were his until they stop on your breast. His tongue laps at your perky nipples sucking until he pulls a delicious moan from you and your hands find his hair again. He loved when you pulled it and kept it long enough for you to get a grip but short enough so it wasnt always in his eyes.

“K-kento” you stutter breathlessly your legs shaking as the first orgasm from his dick rips through you yet he shows no signs of stopping or slowing down. Just keeps fucking you through it.

Well this was a different level of deepness.

“Fuck i love you” he grunts again with slow powerful strokes making sure his pelvis hits yours every time as his hands trace the outline of your body squeezing whereever he can. His lips meet yours once more in a sloppy kiss as he drops more weight on you to keep you in place. The only sounds are a combination of your moans and the wet slapping sounds. A particular thrust of his hips makes you feel like he’s digging you out and your back arches off the bed only for his body to press into you.

“Fuck, tell me how good it feels sweetheart” he practically begs but youre still trying to catch your breath from the first orgasm making him release your nipple and come back to your shoulder peppering it with kisses. “Tell me how much you missed this…us” he adds before snaking a arm down between the both of you and finding your clit.

“N-nan… shit… nami” your words are broken and you cant even keep your eyes focused on one spot and he grins into your neck at his name rolling off your tongue acknowledging where the nickname from earlier came from. His thumb goes at a sensualy slow place but the pressure hes applying has your legs locking up behind his back and he delivers the final blow.

Pulling your chin down to find your eyes and he smiles wholesomely with a wicked glint in his eyes making you give him complete eye contact unable to move. 

“Cum with me” he begs and demands all at once his thrust a bit sporadic and loosing rhythym as the speed on your clit pics up as well the coil building in you before finally snapping and your gushing all over him as ropes of his load shoot into you consequences be damned. He collapses next to you pulling your body ontop of his chest rapidly rising and falling. You two are silent, a comfortable one before he extends his arm rumaging in the drawer next to his bed and you close your eyes fighting the sleep. 

You open your eyes once more when you feel him wrapping a scarf around your hair that had completely curled back up due to the heat and sweat from your bodies. Your only response is to  smile and place a kiss on his chest which he chuckles at and places a kiss on your forehead tracing his fingers up and  down your spine

Let's keep it awkward

Waking up to the sound of the keyboard you yawn rubbing your eyes to see a glass of water and 2 tylenol on the night stand infront of you. The realization dawns on you of where your at but how could you forget you knew that scent of detergent, the cozyness of the sheets and the fact that this was your side of the bed because the vent was next to it meaning youd be getting all the heat first… this was your ex boyfriend Nanami kentos bedroom and you were completely naked except for the pale blue sheet covering your lower half.

It may seem silly but the sound of the keyboard brought tears to your eyes, all the hard work you did on healing. No amount of sza, jhene aiko nor beyonces lemonade album would get you through this one because you knew what it was and allowed it. Nanami was a workaholic— the exact reason for your split. Dates postponed with no exact date, romantic evenings cut short, sleeping alone for several nights as the computer held his attention… What hurt the most was being stood up on your anniversary.  

Slowly rising up you rub your eyes and begin looking for you clothes ready to make your great escape.

“Good morning sweetheart howd you sleep?” He ask the audacity to even call you sweetheart as if everything was back to when you two were still in a relationship makes your heart clench with pain. When you don’t respond the sound of the keyboard stops and you feel the bed shift flinching before he can touch you.

“No i know that look youre going to run, just like last time” he speaks in such a timbre that steals your breath knowing your causing him pain. “If all you wanted was a quick fuck you—“ he begins to say and you scoff finally looking at him eyes set ablaze.

“How fucking dare you?! Thats all i was to you Kento! A quick fuck to burn through your stress and then right back to your silly little papers and projects and work. You were always drowning yourself in work so deep that i had to convince myself you actually didnt hate me! All you do is work and when youre not working youre picking up overtime. You placed your job over me countless times! The only time you thought about me was to reschedule what we had planned…. 14 date nights and a anniversary kento! FOURTEEN!” You finally yell feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at the speach you rehearsed 3 dozen times in the mirror.

His shoulder slump as his lips form a line looking for the right words to say. What could he say he was over the moon waking up next to you in bed and now he felt disgusted with himself. Nothing was worse than the regret on your face.

You begin looking for your clothes again and that sets him into action he shuffles off the bed pulling you into his arms your head against his chest his heartbeat racing.

“Im sorry” released the flood gate of tears youd been holding back as if he knew he holds you tighter and sighs.

“Im sorry for neglecting you, im sorry for not putting you on the pedestal you deserve to be on, im sorry for anytime ive ever made you question my love for you, im sorry for all the dissapointments and most of all im sorry for waiting this long. Im an idiot and every day without you was hell i thought what i would do differently if i had the chance once more and i—“ he stops sitting down on the bed so he could pull your eyes to his covered by his thick framed glasses.

“Karma is beating my ass with cursed energy because for every day we werent together all i could think about was every time i canceled and how i wish i could just have 1 night, id make it all right” he confesses with wide eyes wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 

Your eyes flicker to his laptop and he follows before showing me the screen and there’s about 6 tabs open. His email, flights, hotels, car rentals and clothing stores.

I know I'm ready for it, you feel me?

“I was telling my boss im taking the next month off 14 dates is alot of time sweetheart… 14 too many and i know. We always talking about escaping to malaysia, trying all the foods, shopping breakfast on the beach and dancing under the moonlight until 2am. Everything’s booked and i know youd need time to pack and get your hair done i already messaged your hairstylist who can see you in 4 hours hopefully after we’ve had breakfast and agreed to the trip” he pleads with hopeful eyes revealing his hand to show you, not just tell you how apologetic he was but to show you.

Your heart begins racing, palms sweaty and damn did this man have you weak in the knees! He was doing everything right, saying everything right and he looked so fine the way his boxers hugged his muscular frame and okay maybe a man with a plan turned you on anybody could say words but to put action behind it… And like this? Oh baby he really thought about it, kinda like you factory reset him.

“Heres my card pay for whatever you need and a key… to my place” you never really heard him stumble over his words before until now and his nervousness is showing in a boyish way youd never seen before who wouldve thought stone wall one expression Nanami kento here stumbling over you? “So what do you say?”

Can we still love on each other?

Can we still touch on each other?

Can we still not judge each other?

So… what do you say?

[literallypyro]

hi im nervy about this errr do you have tf2 hcs drabbles anything for mercs (specifically medic and scout and Maybe sniper .... if you feel up to it) finding out their coworker merc reader has a major thing for being tickled and is insanely embarrassed to admit they like it 😭😭 AAHH like nooo aha dont tell me to hold my arms up while you slooowly spider your fingers along my ribs while teasing me for being so ticklish 😵‍💫 sorry theres just no merc x reader tf2 tickle fics anywhere and its driving me silly .........

Okay, I'll admit... I'm one of the worst people to ask this 😅 I hate being tickled.... I'll still try to give you what you want, but I can't promise any amount of quality

Also, thank you for clarifying a few! It would've taken way longer for me to get to this if not. I'm sorry the wait has already been long 😖

Anyway, I still hope you enjoy!

Childlike joys

Scout:

-He's actually kinda happy you like to be tickled. Y'know those moments some couples have when they tickle fight ? That's what he's imagining

-He'll do it randomly sometimes, but his favorite time to tickle you is when you disagree over something small. He uses it to avoid small, unnecessary arguments, and he gets to see you giggle and squirm as a bonus

-I dunno if you know how some people are ticklish when people squeeze a specific part of their knee, but if you're like that, he does it at completely random times. He acts like nothing happened, too. He doesn't even look up from what he's doing

-He would most likely tease you about liking it, but he knows when to stop. He doesn't wanna make you mad

-If you asked him to stop the teasing, he would. He might slip a couple times, but immediately apologize after he realized what he did

Medic:

-He was intrigued when he figured out you liked being tickled

-The most common instances that he would tickle you is when you aren't expecting it. Times such as when he's walking past you on his way to another spot, when you're watching him work, when you're wrapped up in a hobby, etc.

-I think he would also tickle you a tiny bit when he's trying not to get mad. Such as when you might hover in a spot that's in his way, when you ask questions he personally finds annoying, and other small things he knows aren't worth getting snippy about. Your laugh is enough to dissipate that small negative emotion

-He's a lot more low-key about it than you would think

-He wouldn't tease you much. He might make a small comment about it during banter, but that's about it

Sniper:

-Haha, silly partner likes silly thing

-He finds it really amusing, to be quite honest. If he's in a kinda shitty mood, literally all he has to do is tickle you and make you laugh, and he's immediately feeling better

-Yknow how couples have lighthearted arguments? Like what song is better and stuff like that? Yeah, he's tickling you so he can win every single time. You can't form a strong argument if you're too busy laughing and writhing around

-He would also use your ticklishness to cheer you up, too. The smallest frown will have his hands practically attacking your sides and other weak points

-Let's be SO FR for a second. He is most definitely mischievous sometimes. He would subtly tickle you when the team is in the room to mess with you a little

-Also plays dumb if you try to call him out for it

[the-s1lly-corner]

Bishops x reader, but the reader is a past lover and they see their bishop in their new follower form. They may be big and scary but hey! They can finally hold each other’s hands and or hug.

Bishops reuniting w/ their partner as Followers

I kinda miss cotl i need to get back into it- i cant believe its been almost a year since i first got into it... i dont like how fast time is flying... makes me... uncomfortable... notes: gn any creature reader, post game, implied reader is immortal/has been brought back several times/has a skull necklace since the bishops fell and died a LONG time ago- something something the entire game actually takes forever in universe something something lamb has a different perception of time as a god/immortal cws: mentions of death

LESHY

very eager and very loud when you two finally reunite, he doesnt really care how the other cultists perceive him. youre HIS partner and hes not going to act all cool and collected when he finds you again... you... nearly think he would start scuttling all over you like you

his tail knocks over at least one person and/or small decoration- its basically wagging. its going to be wagging for a bit until things start feeling normal again. you bring him a sense of normalcy in these times and hes going to cling onto that hard

HEKET

now she actually does make a comment that you could have done better with your cult choices, shes not too much of a coward like kallamar to keep it to herself... slit throat or not shes going to speak her mind even if it takes a lot of effort and pain

will not let you leave her side... one might think she actually hated being separated from you for so long while she was in purgatory- and if you have the balls to ask her she will give you... a non answer that at least somewhat points to that theory being true. not that she would admit any form of weakness

thinks she is above the flocks work but god (lamb?) help her- if she sees you struggling she will pick up your work to cut you some slack... mutters something about how you shouldnt get used to it (you will get used to it)

KALLAMAR

well... its nice having one familiar face here! that isnt family at least... he actually is really happy to see you even if part of that comes from him clinging onto his life as a god- he still expects you to pamper him the same way you did before

he... does have a passing thought that you kind of sank low- really? the lambs cult? you chose to join the lamb? not that he can really say anything, hes here too... but still! its like! a total downgrade from anchordeep!

it... actually is a lot like how things were before, just less him openly shaming cultists- the size is an obvious thing. he still has the same wants and demands... you do sometimes feel like hes a little too vain, though... one would think getting killed and brought back to life to work in some healing bay would humble someone but alas/lh

SHAMURA

they dont instantly recognize you... but they know youre familiar and that youre important to them. in a sad sort of way its like watching them fall in love with you all over again- theyve been in purgatory for so long and without the crown their mind is in an even worse state

always always seeks you out for something- even in their worse moments they get the sense that youd be there for them, thus the instinct to come to you

the happy chittering sounds they make almost come out of left field for them- its involuntary and it makes them pause for a second to ponder over it

[manicpixiefelix]

he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use

{ now with an epilogue }

A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.

"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.

"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.

"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.

"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"

"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."

Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.

"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.

"I will try, that's all I can do."

By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.

Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.

"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"

Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -

"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.

"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.

Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.

Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.

"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.

The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.

"Sure, Fi."

A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.

"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.

Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.

"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.

"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.

"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"

Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.

"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"

A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.

"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."

Oh, you're going to be sick.

It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.

There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.

Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.

Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.

Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.

"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.

There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.

All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.

"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.

"No, its okay Ollie."

"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."

But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.

"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"

Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.

"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.

"It's all I know how to be!"

"I know, pet, I know."

Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.

After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.

"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.

And he's already drunk.

Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.

At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.

"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.

"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.

"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.

"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."

"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.

However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.

"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.

"I can try."

"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.

"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.

"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."

You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;

"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."

And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.

With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.

"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.

"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."

"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.

"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."

"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"

"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."

"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.

"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."

"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.

"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.

Then he's gone.

Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.

The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.

"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"

"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.

"That why you're here?"

"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.

"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.

"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"

"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"

"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.

"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"

"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.

"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"

"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"

"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.

"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.

"Fi -"

"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."

"Fi, please -"

"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.

The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -

Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.

"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.

The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.

"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.

"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.

"Worried you'll get lost?"

"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."

"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."

You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.

"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.

"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.

As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.

You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.

Except...

Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -

Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.

But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.

When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."

And he leaves.

Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.

"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.

"You didn't talk to them last night?"

"I was talking to them a lot last night -"

"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."

Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.

It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.

"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.

"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.

Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.

"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."

The world stops.

Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.

"I thought you were fucking better than this!"

His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.

"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."

"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.

Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.

Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.

None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.

"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.

"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.

"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."

Small steps to victory.

At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.

They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.

"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."

It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.

"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.

"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.

"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."

Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.

But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.

{ epilogue }

[whole-circus]

Can you do when the Proxies, Eyeless Jack, and Slenderman, find out the reader has a extra appendage like a tail? Although the reader doesn't hide it they just use it like a belt but rarely use it?? (How has your day been? Also please make sure to not stress yourself)

Creepypastas with reader that has a tail!

➥ with "Ticci" Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman

Hi love!!! Thank you and remember to take care about yourself too!!&lt;3 Im going a bit insane in my room lol But I hope you felt at least okay!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

"Ticci" Toby

Toby finds you so cool! He wouldnt really notice at first that its actual tail, but how long he can stay clueless? When he finally gets it, he is so excited i swear. You almost make him wish that he had tail instead, but he cant complain since his partner have it! Toby will beg you to touch it and play with it, he is way happier about the tail than you (and you literally live with this things.. with tail, not toby). Loves to lay down with you and cuddle, your tail wrapped around his hand/ leg/just anything. Loves playing with it when he needs to keep his hands busy. Toby would be also respectful if you dont like having your tail touched becasue i can only imagine how sensitive it is, just say the word and he will act like it doesnt even exist congrats, now he will play with your hand!

Masky

Honestly wouldnt make a big deal out of it? Masky is a simple man, and i feel like he wouldnt even noticed at first if you wear it as belt, would just think that you have weird fashion sense but who he is to judge?? But then it turns out that its actual tail? You are person of many suprises, arent you? Listen, he would definitely calls you some of this cheesy petnames like kitten or puppy just becasue of your tail 💀..like please, punch him or something. Overall good boyfriend, will fight for you and stroke your tail??

Hoodie

Good luck with him! Hoodie wants to touch it a lot! Its not like there are a lot of chances in life to pet someone tail, huh? Who can blame him in such cruel condictions..? Even if you use it as a belt, he loves when you just..let it swing by itself! That way he has easier acces to it, and i mean it - boy is in heaven. He would definitely tease you so so much! Hoodie will anno and you can expect at least couple of funny comments about your tail daily (or at least he thinks they are funny). I see him wearing a fake tail just to mess with you to be honest. Hoodie isnt the worst person, you will definitely get a lot of attention from him! Is it good or bad? I will let you decide!

Eyeless Jack

Okay, Jack really enjoyes having "not-so-normal" partner (well, in term of being a human). He tends to be a bit insecure sometimes about what he is, so you make it all a bit easier to him to be honest. Doesnt feel as weird - and of course he doesnt want you to feel this way! He is pretty observant (and well, have amazing senses), so propably noticed it when you used it as a belt, no need to tell him twice! Absolutely loves to make you flustreted!! Will tease the shit out of you, i mean it. Definitely will like to caress it and play with it (pls he is a bit like a cat), later will chuckle in his husky tone when you are embarassed and tell him to stop

Slenderman

Slenderman wont say too much..well not like he is the most talkactive person! He is fascinated by people, loves observing them and to learn about their nature..does it really matter for what reasons? We will just move on with that.. Anyways, if you ask me, Slender as not-human-creature likes seeing how everyone is diffrent event tho he had seen already a lot! There is really tiny wall between his hate and fascination for humans. But dont worry, its you who we talk about! He will ask some questions, but in his subtle and gentlemanly way! It doesnt matter to him if you are a bit diffrent, becasue he sees it more as your advantage than disadvantage! Slenderman would be more into intelect than look anyway i think. Wont touch your tail tho..well maybe not without your consent, but he just doesnt really care, he has seen almost everything in his 'life'.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚　

[strip-weathers]

How have your feelings on the fandom as a whole changed?

Oh dear this will be long..but thank you for the ask!

By this answer I don’t hate on anyone and I don’t want to upset anyone! I’m not going to hate on anyone and I’d never do that. I’m just saying my opinion!

And if you gonna read it to the end, thank you so much for that. ❤️ this is also a part of my venting. I felt very scared to say it out loud because I’m scared that people are going to hate on me because of this. I hope you guys won’t and you’ll understand me. 💙

Also if you’d like to discuss on anything I just wrote down, don’t worry and discuss with me about that! Just DM me and we can discuss!

My feelings about this fandom changed a lot. Before, like from 2017 (even lower years) probably to 2021 the fandom was something different. People were kind, respectful, nearly every Cars or Planes blogs got attention and people interacted with them. They were simply enjoying the time being there and also people’s ideas and creations. They were simply talking about head cannons and also enjoying that. And I’ve been happily enjoying that too.

But after that 2021 year, I have a feeling it changed a lot. Lots of well known people left, or they stopped posting maybe because they’re busy in their lives or they just ran out of ideas or they’re not interested in this fandom anymore. And still lot of people quitting and leaving this fandom.

Amount of people on Instagram? Very small. Amount of people on TikTok? Also very small. Amount of people on Tumblr? A little bit more cause probably most of them don’t have Insta. I feel like this fandom is getting smaller and more closed and people don’t want to interact. (Maybe they’re shy? Not sure.)

Also these days there’s one big issue, attention. Lot of attention as likes, comments, shares (reblogs for Tumblr) get only those well known people in the fandom. But not those small accounts or blogs (including me). But why? Why small artists don’t get attention we should get for work we do? Where’s the problem? Maybe the algorithm of the app or the app doesn’t let us be seen on people’s dashboards and fyp? Or is that because we draw something people are not interested in? Or maybe they don’t like us? I’m not sure about that but it’s sad to see it.

I also want people from fandom to know that I’m here. I want them to know that I also like this franchise. I want them to known that I’m drawing and writing about Cars and Planes. I want them to know that I’m also part of this fandom and I want them to know that they can reach me or interact with me without any worries.

And I did find lot of great friends and moots I’m glad and happy for. You guys are amazing and thank you for being in contact with me and interacting with me. I really appreciate it! Also all people who like, share (regblog) or comment my posts, thank you for that!

There’s also another issue in this fandom. Some people who may not be in the fandom (I’m not sure about that) just draw cars or planes randomly and post it and everyone are interacting as hell and it goes viral. And that’s all. But those who are here for longer time (also including me) post as much as they can but they never get any attention and interactions. Why? Where’s the problem? I’m trying to be as active as possible (for example here on Tumblr) and I get some attention (and I appreciate it) but not as much as other artists. I find it very unfair.

And the last one issue is that these days people ship characters that shouldn’t be shipped. 🚫By this part I’m not hating on lgbt community🚫

Yeah, some ships I do understand like Filmore and Sarge or Finn McMissile and Leland Turbo and some other ships. (Dont worry I also can see some cute ships with Cars or Planes and maybe I’ll show them some day owo.) But there are some ships that shouldn’t be. Like Strip and Chick. I’m sorry but in all honesty I hate this ship. You can’t just ship a married race car with mean race car. Why don’t yall give Chick some lady car? Like Natalie? I don’t get why do people ship them.

But I’m not here to hate on anyone! I’m not going to hate on anyone! People can do anything they want and I understand that. But I just don’t get this case and it’s so disturbing for me.

So in overall I sometimes feel like if you’re not friends with well known people in this fandom who would help you get viral, you’re not gonna be famous or well known in this fandom.

Again thank you for reading this into the end and have nice day / night!