#i dont enjoy any of these feelings. sighs.
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"Summer nights like this had a way of unfolding secrets. The kind of nights when the air hung heavy with pine and smoke, the moon glinting like a shy voyeur against the rippling surface of the lake. This wasn’t your first time at the Washington family cabin, but it was the first time that everything felt different. No parents. No rules. And, worst of all, no escape from the fact that Josh Washington was here, and he wasn’t yours."
summary: Your best friend invites you to their annual summer trip to the family cabin in the mountains—something you've done before. But this year is different: no parents. After years of secretly harboring feelings for your best friend’s brother, Josh, you decide this is the perfect chance to finally confess.
tags: best friend's brother!joshua washington x f!reader, childhood crush, both josh and reader like each other but act oblivious (josh more than reader), reader is low key obsessed with josh, minor age gap, alternative universe where Hannah and Beth are still alive, some angst, p in v (protected), virginity loss (reader), kind of fluff, josh talks you through it (yummy!!), fingering (f receiving), idiots in love 🫶🏻
/ᐠ - ˕ -マ tokkis note 𑁯 ✿ hey... how yall doing... the rami malek fever is so real i had to write something. so i did. 6,45k words to be more exact, teehee! i dont quite know what this is, but i had fun writing it, like it got me giggling and shit so yeah 💀 if you see any typos close your eyes, forget you saw anything. enjoy!
7th grade. That was when you stopped thinking of Josh Washington as just Hannah’s annoying older brother. Between the way he stayed behind after soccer practice to teach you how to kick a penalty and the smirk he threw over his shoulder, like he knew you were watching him. The first time when you actually considered Josh not being a jerk like other boys. In 9th grade, he became the hottest guy you had ever met. or maybe you just got so used to his face that you didn't want to look at other boys. Fast forward to now, you're starting college in one month, and things have changed in a way. maybe for the worstㅡ because he's all you can think about.
“You’re staring again.” Hannah’s voice snaps you out of your daze. She’s grinning, nudging your ribs as the two of you sit on the couch in the cabin. “You’re so obvious.” You blink and turn toward her, cheeks heating. “I—I wasn’t staring!”
“Oh, you were,” she teases, popping a chip into her mouth. “What is it this time? The hair? The jawline? Or did you finally notice his arms? I mean, have you seen him chop firewood? That’s peak Josh.”
“Hannah!” You hiss, smacking her arm. She only laughs, and you can’t help but roll your eyes. But she’s not wrong. Somewhere between your senior year of high school and now, Josh had gone from the boy who made stupid puns to the man who could take your breath away just by walking into a room. Unfortunately, it seems like he doesn’t notice.
“Still no move, huh?” Hannah says, lowering her voice. “You’re not seriously going to spend another summer in silent agony, are you?” You sigh. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Josh, remember me? The girl who used to wear braces and cried when I lost my retainer? Cool. Wanna make out?’” Hannah snorts so loudly that Beth, sitting nearby with her book, looks over with a frown. “What are you two laughing about now?”
“Nothing,” you and Hannah say in unison, though she’s still stifling giggles. Beth looks at you both, arching a brow. “Sure,” she says, clearly unconvinced, but she doesn’t push. She returns to her book, leaving you free to squirm under Hannah’s knowing gaze.
Josh doesn’t stick around to witness your humiliation. He’s already disappeared into the kitchen, and the sound of the fridge opening and the clinking of bottles is the only thing tethering you to the moment. “Do something this trip,” Hannah murmurs, leaning close so Beth doesn’t overhear. “Seriously. You’ve been mooning over him since forever. And now—” she waves a hand at the open windows, the twilight stretching wide like a stage—“this is your moment.”
“Hannah, it’s not like that,” you say, but even you don’t believe it. Not when your heart skips every time Josh is within ten feet of you. “It’s exactly like that,” she shoots back, voice low but insistent. “He likes you, too, you know.” You look at her sharply. “What?”
“Oh, don’t give me that face,” Hannah says, rolling her eyes. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s just... Josh. Oblivious as hell.”
You’re about to argue, to tell her she’s wrong, that there’s no way Joshua Washington— carefree, clever, confident Josh, could ever see you like that. But before you can, his voice carries from the kitchen. “You two plotting something?” Your breath hitches, and Hannah, ever the instigator, grins. “Maybe,” she calls back. Josh reappears, beer in hand, and leans against the doorway. His green eyes flick between the two of you, and for a moment, you swear they linger on you. “Well, don’t blow up the cabin,” he says with a crooked smile before heading out onto the porch.
That night, the cabin settled into quiet. Beth retires early, Hannah tucked away in the room you’re sharing, and yet you can’t sleep. Your thoughts swirl—images of Josh’s hands, the way his eyes looked into yours, his voice, smooth and teasing, the way his smile felt like a hook tugging you somewhere you shouldn’t want to go.
The room feels suffocating, the summer heat pressing against your skin. You slip out of bed as quietly as you can, grabbing a towel and slipping into your swimsuit. The lake isn’t far. You’ve been there a hundred times before, but tonight, it feels like it’s waiting just for you. The water is cold when you first step in, but it’s a welcome relief, a shock that clears your head. You wade in deeper, letting the towel drop onto the shore, and soon, the swimsuit feels like too much. You hesitate, glancing back toward the cabin, but it’s silent and still. “Just you and the lake,” you whisper to yourself. The swimsuit peels away, and the water envelops you like a second skin. You float, staring up at the sky, letting the cool liquid carry the weight of your thoughts.
But then a voice shatters the stillness.
“Didn’t take you for a midnight swimmer.”
You jolt, water sloshing as you whirl toward the shore. Josh is standing there, hands in his pockets, his head cocked in that infuriatingly casual way he always manages. “Josh!” You shriek, sinking deeper into the water. “What are you doing out here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he says, stepping closer to the water’s edge. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“Something like that,” you mutter, your cheeks burning even as the water cools your skin. His eyes sweep over the lake, lingering just long enough to make your heart race. “You always were full of surprises,” he says softly, almost to himself. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me, or are you joining?” you ask before you can think better of it. The question hangs in the air, bold and daring, and for a moment, you think you’ve scared him off. But then he grins.
“Alright.”
You watch, half in awe, as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the toned lines of his chest and the faint trail of scars along his ribs. He doesn’t stop there, shucking off his jeans until he’s left in his boxers.
The water ripples as he drops in, and suddenly, he’s closer than you expected, the space between you charged with something you can’t quite name. “This is nice,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost reverent. You nod, the words caught in your throat. “Do you ever feel like...” He trails off, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “Like there’s something just out of reach? Like you want to grab it, but you’re scared of what happens if you do?”
Your heart thuds. “All the time.” His gaze shifts to you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you think he’s going to say something—something that will change everything. Instead, he leans back, letting himself float. “Good thing we’ve got the whole summer,” he murmurs.
You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or himself. But one thing is clear: you’ll spend every moment of this summer trying to pull him closer.
The next morning, the cabin feels alive with the quiet rustle of summer. Birds trill in the trees, and sunlight pours through the open windows, a golden invitation to start the day. Hannah is already on the deck with a cup of coffee, scrolling on her phone when you step out. “You’re up early,” she says, not looking up. You shrug, trying to hide how restless you’d been all night after what happened at the lake. “Couldn’t sleep.”
She raises a brow but doesn’t press. “Josh is down at the dock,” she says, nodding toward the lake. “Probably sulking. You know how he gets.”
You hesitate. “Why’s he sulking?”
She snorts. “Because the rest of the group isn’t getting here until tomorrow. You’d think one day without his entourage wouldn’t kill him.” You glance toward the lake. the memory of last night. Josh’s quiet words, the way the moonlight danced in his eyes, it's still fresh in your mind. “You should go,” Hannah says, smirking now. “Cheer him up. Or stare at him some more. Whatever works.”
“Hannah!” But she’s already gone, slipping back into the cabin and leaving you with no choice but to head toward the dock.
Josh is sitting on the edge of the wooden dock, his feet dangling in the water. The air smells like cedar and the faint tang of sunscreen. for a moment, you almost turn back. But then he glances over his shoulder and sees you. “Morning,” he says, his voice softer than usual. “Hey,” you say, stepping onto the dock and sitting a few feet away. For a while, neither of you speak. The lake stretches out before you, endless and still, and it feels like the world has shrunk to just the two of you.
“Big day ahead of us,” Josh says eventually, his tone laced with sarcasm. “Yeah,” you reply, matching his smile. “So many exciting activities. Staring at trees. Staring at water. Staring at each other.” He laughs, and the sound is warm and unexpected. “Careful. I might think you’re obsessed with me.” Your stomach flips, but you keep your voice light. “Who says I’m not?”
Josh looks at you then, really looks at you, and for a second, you wonder if you’ve said too much. But instead of teasing, his expression softens. “I don’t get you sometimes,” he says quietly.
“What do you mean?” He shrugs, kicking at the water. “You’re just...different. Not like everyone else.” oh boy. “Good different or bad different?” you ask, your heart in your throat. Josh doesn’t answer right away. His gaze shifts to the endless forest, and when he finally speaks, his voice pangs through you.
“Good,” he says. "Definitely good.”
The rest of the day is a blur of lazy activities—helping Beth organize the kitchen, listening to Hannah’s playlist on the deck, and avoiding Josh just enough to keep your heart from imploding. By sunset, the air is thick with the anticipation of the group’s arrival tomorrow. Hannah flops onto the couch beside you, phone in hand. “Sam says they’re leaving first thing in the morning,” she says. “So, enjoy the quiet while it lasts.”
“Quiet?” Beth calls from the kitchen, laughing. “Have you met us?” Hannah rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Tomorrow it’s going to be chaos. Jess and Emily bickering, Chris and Ashley pretending they’re not totally in love, Matt trying to keep the peace...and then there’s Josh.”
“What about Josh?” You ask before you can stop yourself. Hannah gives you a look. “You tell me.”
That night, you find yourself back at the lake, drawn by the same restless energy that kept you up the night before. You don’t plan on skinny dipping again—it feels too risky with everyone around—but the water calls to you anyway, soothing and eternal.
And maybe, just maybe, Josh feels the same right now.
You’re sitting on the shore, toes dipping into the cool water when you hear footsteps behind you. “Couldn’t sleep again?” You don’t have to turn around to know it’s him. “I could say the same to you,” you reply, glancing back. Josh sits beside you, his shoulder brushing yours, and the warmth of him is enough to set your skin buzzing. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” he says after a while.
“What is?”
“Being back here. Without... you know. Adults. Rules.” You nod, the weight of his words settling over you. “Feels different.”
“Yeah,” he says, his voice quieter now. “Makes you think about stuff.”
“Like what?” you ask, heart pounding.
Josh doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he picks up a stone and skips it across the water. One, two, three perfect skips before it sinks. “Like what happens next,” he says finally. “For all of us. Feels like everything’s about to change.”
You don’t know what to say to that. So, instead, you reach for your own stone, throwing it as hard as you can. It skips once before plunking into the water. “Guess I’ll just have to stick around and figure it out,” you say, keeping your voice light.
Josh looks at you, his eyes shadowed and searching, and for a moment, you think he’s going to say something. what you want to hear, maybe. something important. But instead, he smiles, that same lopsided grin that’s been haunting your dreams for years. “Good,” he says.
“I’d miss you otherwise.”
The cabin feels too small the moment the others arrive. It’s a blur of bodies, laughter, and chaos as the others spill into the space, dragging in bags, cooler boxes, and enough energy to wake the dead. It’s not that you mind them—you’ve known most of Josh’s friends for years, but something about the way the cabin hums now feels different. The tight, intimate bubble you’d shared with Josh, Hannah, and Beth is gone, replaced by noise and the easy rhythm of their group. You feel...adrift, to say the least. And watching Josh slip seamlessly back into his role as the charismatic center of attention only makes it worse.
By the time night falls, the cabin is alive with music, the sharp pop of bottle caps, and the low buzz of conversation. You find yourself perched in a corner of the living room, a half-empty drink in hand, watching the others like a ghost at your own party.
Josh is at the center of it all, as always. He’s standing near the couch, laughing at something Sam said, and the sound is enough to send your stomach twisting into knots. Sam, of course, is radiant—effortlessly pretty in her cropped sweatshirt, her hair catching the light like spun gold. She’s animated, gesturing with her hands, and every time Josh leans closer to hear her, you feel like the room tilts off its axis. “Hey,” Hannah says, sliding in next to you with a knowing look. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you lie, taking a sip of your drink. Hannah snorts. “Subtle.” You glance at her, frowning. “What?”
“You know what,” she says, tilting her head toward Josh and Sam. “Seriously, if you’re going to keep looking at him like that, you might as well do something about it.”
“I’m not looking at him,” you protest weakly. Hannah rolls her eyes. “Sure. And I’m not your best friend.” She pauses, watching you for a moment before her expression softens. “Look, you’re not exactly subtle when it comes to Josh. But for what it’s worth? I think he’s just as clueless about how he feels as you are.” Her words settle into your chest, a mix of hope and frustration, but before you can respond, Jess calls out from the other side of the room.
“Hey! Who’s up for Spin the Bottle?” You couldn’t escape it, let's be honest.
You don’t know how it happens, but somehow, you end up in the circle. Maybe it’s the drinking, or maybe it’s Hannah giving you a pointed nudge as everyone sits on the floor, but before you know it, you’re sandwiched between her and Ashley, your pulse pounding in your ears. Josh is directly across from you, his green eyes bright in the firelight. Sam is to his left, Jess to his right, and the knot in your stomach tightens. “Okay, ground rules,” Jess says, grinning wickedly. “No chickening out. You spin, you kiss. Period.”
There’s a chorus of laughter and a few groans, but no one protests. Chris goes first, spinning the bottle with dramatic flair. It lands on Ashley, who blushes furiously but leans in to kiss him. The group erupts in cheers and wolf whistles, and you can’t help but smile despite yourself.
One by one, the bottle makes its rounds. Jess and Emily kiss, Matt kisses Ashley despite him protesting, and eventually, it’s Josh’s turn. He spins the bottle with a lazy flick of his wrist, the glass neck twirling endlessly before it slows, stops, and lands on Sam.
Your stomach drops.
“Oh, come on,” Jess says, clapping her hands. “This is gonna be good.” Josh raises an eyebrow, glancing at Sam. She shrugs, smiling, and leans forward.
You can’t look away.
Their lips meet in a brief, playful kiss—nothing dramatic, nothing earth-shattering. but it’s enough. Enough to make your chest ache, your fingers tighten around the drink in your hand. When they pull apart, everyone cheers again, and Josh laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your turn,” he says, handing the bottle to Sam. But you don’t care. You’re too busy swallowing the lump in your throat, trying to ignore the way your vision blurs at the edges.
Later, when the game ends and the group begins to disperse, you slip outside, the cool night air a welcome relief from the suffocating cabin. The lake stretches out before you, dark and endless, and for a moment, you let yourself breathe.
“You okay?” The voice startles you, and you turn to see Josh standing there, hands in his pockets. “I’m fine,” you say quickly, brushing at your eyes. He frowns, stepping closer. “You sure? You looked kind of...I don’t know, off.” You force a laugh, crossing your arms. “I’m fine, Josh. Really.” For a moment, he just looks at you, his brow furrowed like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle.
“You’re a terrible liar,” he says softly. The words hit harder than they should, and before you can stop yourself, you snap. “What do you want me to say, Josh? That I didn’t love watching you kiss Sam? That it didn’t suck seeing you two all cozy earlier?” His eyes widen, caught off guard, and for a second, you regret everything. But then his expression shifts—something softer, something almost...guilty.
“I didn’t...” He trails off, running a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t trying to...” You shake your head, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself. “Forget it. It’s not your fault.” Josh hesitates, like he’s weighing his next words carefully. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he says finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
You glance at him, your heart aching at the look in his eyes—conflicted, searching. “I know,” you say quietly. “It’s fine. Really.” But it’s not fine. And as you turn back toward the cabin, leaving Josh standing by the lake, you can’t help but wonder if this summer is going to break you before it’s over.
The sun hung low in the sky, painting the cabin in hues of orange and gold. The group was scattered—Jess and Emily were bickering over sunscreen, Chris and Ashley were curled up on the deck talking in low tones, and Sam was by the lake with Hannah, skipping stones. It was all too perfect, too idyllic, except for the hollow ache in your chest.
Josh had been avoiding you all day.
It wasn’t like he was being obvious about it—Josh had a knack for slipping into conversations, filling the room with his sharp wit and charm like nothing was wrong. But you felt it. In the way his eyes would dart past you when you entered a room, the way his laugh seemed just a little louder when you weren’t around.
And maybe you were just as bad, lurking in the corners, pretending not to notice how often he touched Sam’s arm when they talked.
Written across your heart was all of your will to make him see—make him realize there was no in-between. There was either you and him, or the hollow echo of “I’m so sorry for your loss.” And wasn’t that what it felt like already? Like mourning something that never got the chance to live?
But it was his fault, wasn’t it?
For making you want him so much that your heart bled angel tears. For teaching your lips to sing sweet once-upon-a-times about a boy who was all sharp edges and hidden softness, who didn’t realize how much space he took up in your world.
By late afternoon, you found yourself back at the lake. It had become your refuge, the only place where you could breathe without the weight of Josh’s absence pressing against your ribs. Your toes skimmed the water’s edge, the cool ripples kissing your skin. You weren’t thinking about anything in particular—just the endless horizon, the way the light danced on the surface of the lake. But then a voice broke through your thoughts.
“You hiding out here now?” You didn’t have to turn around to know it was him. Again.
“Maybe I am,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. Josh sighed, stepping closer. You could feel the heat of him at your back, the way his presence wrapped around you even when you didn’t want it to. “Look,” he said finally, his voice softer. “About the other night...” You turned to face him, cutting him off. “It’s fine, Josh. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Yes, I do.” His eyes—those endless green eyes—searched yours, his expression uncharacteristically serious. “No, you don’t,” you said, forcing a smile. “We’re friends. That’s all we’ve ever been, right?”
Josh flinched, like the word ���friends” was a physical blow. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said quietly. For a moment, you believed. But then you shook your head, stepping away. “You didn’t, Josh,” you said. “I’m fine.”
That night, the group decided to make a bonfire by the lake. The air was thick with laughter, the sharp scent of burning wood mingling with the sweetness of roasted marshmallows.
You sat with Hannah and Beth, listening as Chris tried to tell a ghost story that kept getting interrupted by Jess’s sarcastic commentary. Josh was across the fire, sitting next to Sam. He wasn’t touching her, wasn’t even looking at her, but it didn’t matter.
Your hair cascaded like Niagara under the firelight, your lips so soft—even if he had never felt them under his. Josh couldn’t stop looking at you. Your eyes glowed like an eternity, and your voice—when you laughed at something - it was the only antidote he’d ever had for all those sleepless nights.
He didn’t know how to fix this.
Didn’t know how to reach across the chasm that had opened between you since that stupid game of Spin the Bottle. And maybe it was selfish—maybe it was cruel—but he wanted you to look at him the way you used to. Like he was something worth believing in.
The fire burned low as the group began to drift off, one by one. Eventually, it was just you and Josh, the silence between you heavy and unspoken. “Shouldn’t you be with Sam?” you asked, your tone biting. Josh frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” you said quickly, standing. “I’m going to bed.” But before you could leave, his hand shot out, catching your wrist. “Wait,” he said, his voice urgent. You froze, refusing to look at him. “Can we just—” He hesitated, his grip loosening. “Can we talk?” You pulled away, your chest tightening. “Not tonight, Josh.” He didn’t stop you this time, and as you walked back to the cabin, you felt the weight of his gaze on your back.
Neither of you slept that night.
The stars were muted behind a veil of clouds, the air heavy with the promise of rain. The cabin was quieter now. Days of forced smiles and lingering silences had worn you thin, and tonight, you found yourself outside again, pacing the gravel path that led to the lake.
You didn’t mean to cry.
It started as an ache in your chest, spreading to your throat until the tears came unbidden, hot, and relentless. You wiped at them furiously, hating the way they betrayed you, but the anger only made it worse.
How could he be so blind?
You heard footsteps behind you, familiar and deliberate. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was Josh. “Go away,” you said, your voice raw.
He didn’t.
“Hey,” he said softly, his tone careful, like he was afraid you’d shatter if he spoke too loud. “What’s wrong?” You laughed bitterly, the sound hollow in the stillness. “You really have to ask?” Josh shifted, running a hand through his hair. “Look, if this is about—”
“It’s not about Sam!” you snapped, whirling to face him. “It’s about you, Josh. It’s always about you.” His brows furrowed, confusion flickering in his green eyes. “What are you talking about?” You threw your hands up, frustration spilling over. “Do you know what it’s like? To feel like you’re screaming into the void, hoping, praying, that someone will hear you? To love someone so much that it hurts, only for them to act like you don’t even exist?” Josh’s expression shifted, the confusion replaced by something deeper, something raw.
“I—”
“You don’t get it,” you interrupted, your voice breaking. “You never have. And maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I should’ve said something years ago, but I didn’t, and now... now I can’t even look at you without feeling like I’m suffocating.” The tears came harder now, and you didn’t bother to stop them. Josh took a step closer, his jaw tight, but he didn’t speak. “Say something,” you demanded, your voice trembling. “Anything.”
He didn’t.
The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, until you shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Of course,” you said, turning away. “Why did I even expect—” But before you could take another step, his hand caught your arm, spinning you back toward him.
And then he kissed you.
It wasn’t soft.
It was desperate, messy, like he was trying to say all the words he couldn’t find through the press of his lips. His hands cradled your face, grounding you even as the world seemed to tilt beneath your feet. For a moment, you froze, too stunned to move. But then your hands found his shirt, clutching the fabric like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath uneven.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I’m sorry I made you feel like this.” Your chest ached, the anger draining from your body as quickly as it had come. “Josh,” you started, but he cut you off, his green eyes locking onto yours. “I don’t deserve you,” he said, his voice cracking. “I know I don’t. But you’re all I think about. You always have been.” The words broke something in you, and the tears came again, but this time, they weren’t born of anger or frustration. “Then why didn’t you say anything?” you asked, your voice trembling. “Because I’m a coward,” he admitted, a humorless laugh escaping his lips. “Because I’m an idiot who didn’t realize what he had until he almost lost it.” You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his hands still framing your face. “I can’t.” You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you did the only thing you could: you kissed him.
This time, it was softer, slower, filled with all the things you couldn’t put into words. And when you pulled back, his lips curved into a small, hesitant smile. “Does this mean you’ll stop avoiding me?” you asked, your voice shaking with a mix of laughter and tears. Josh chuckled, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “You'll start wishing I would."
The first low rumble of thunder rolled across the sky as you and Josh lingered, the sound so faint at first that you barely noticed it. But then it came again, louder this time, accompanied by a flash of light on the horizon, pulling you both from your kiss. You glanced up at the clouds gathering above, your chest tightening. Josh followed your gaze, a grin tugging at his lips. “You afraid of a little rain?” Before you could respond, the heavens opened up. The rain came in a sudden, torrential downpour, drenching you both in seconds. You yelped, the cold droplets soaking through your clothes as Josh let out a startled laugh. “Come on!” he shouted over the sound of the rain, grabbing your hand.
He led you up the path, past the cabin and deeper into the woods where a small gazebo stood, tucked beneath a canopy of trees. The structure was simple but charming, with its whitewashed beams and ivy creeping up the sides. Inside was a weathered but cozy couch, draped with soft blankets that someone—Hannah, probably—had left there.
You stumbled under the shelter just as another crack of thunder split the sky. The sound was deafening, but you couldn’t help laughing as you leaned against one of the beams, rainwater dripping from your hair and clothes. Josh stood across from you, his hands on his hips, his shirt clinging to his chest in a way that made your heart race all over again. His hair was a mess, dark strands sticking to his forehead, and yet he looked unfairly good—smiling at you like this was the best night of his life.
“Well,” he said, shaking water from his hair, “so much for staying dry.” You rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around yourself. “You think?” He stepped closer, his grin softening into something warmer. “Here.” He reached for one of the blankets on the couch, shaking it out before draping it over your shoulders. His fingers brushed your arms as he adjusted it, and you shivered, though it wasn’t from the rain. “Thanks,” you murmured, your voice quieter now.
Josh sat beside you on the couch, his arm resting along the back as he leaned into the cushions. The rain pattered against the roof of the gazebo, a rhythmic hum that filled the silence between you. “You know,” he said after a moment, his voice low, “I kind of like this.” You glanced at him, eyebrows raised. “Getting caught in a thunderstorm?”
“No,” he said, chuckling. “Being here. With you.” You looked away, focusing on the rain streaking down the gazebo’s wooden beams. “Josh...” “Hey,” he said, his voice softer now. You felt his hand brush against yours, tentative, like he was testing the waters. “Look at me.” You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his. The rain softened the world around you, muting everything except the warmth in his gaze.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. It was just the two of you, sitting close on that old couch, the rain falling like a curtain around the gazebo. You could feel it, that familiar warmth creeping up within you, curling in your stomach every time Josh was near. Your heart thuds as his rough palm drags itself up your exposed thigh. Before you could stop yourself, the words rushed out of your mouth. “I’m a virgin!” Your face flushed a deep crimson as soon as the words left your lips, and you immediately covered your face with your hands in embarrassment.
Josh froze for a beat, his hand still resting on your thigh. You could feel his gaze on you, but you didn’t dare look up. And then, to your surprise, you heard him laugh softly, the sound low and warm. “Wait... really?” he asked, his voice filled with amusement but also something softer, something affectionate.
You peeked up at him, still hiding half of your face behind your hands, the flush on your cheeks deepening. “Yeah, really,” you mumbled, not sure whether you were embarrassed or relieved to finally say it out loud. Josh’s grin widened, and there was a playful glint in his eyes as he leaned a little closer. “I gotta admit, that’s a little... surprising.” He paused, his tone teasing but gentle. “But, hey, no rushing." Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of him being your first. You nodded, your eyes searching his face, still unsure whether to be embarrassed or... maybe a little proud?
His hand gently moved from your thigh to rest on your knee, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, reassuring circles. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he said quietly, his voice soft. “I'm not trying anything unless you want to.” You looked up at him, meeting his gaze, and found only kindness there— no teasing, no judgment, just understanding. And somehow, that made everything feel a little easier. "I do want to... you know.." The words won't come out. “Still,” you muttered, “it’s... kind of awkward, don’t you think?” Josh chuckled, that warm smile never leaving his face. “Don't think so” he said, his voice low and serious now, “if you’re gonna share something like that with anyone, I’m glad it could be me."
You nod, scooting closer to him, palms now flush on his chest. his eyes scan your every inch, and you try to look away, but he captures your lips into another kiss. his lips trail down to your neck with a low "can I?" And you hum, trying your best to stay quiet as you get used to the feeling.
in no time, you're under him, both entangled, half naked and out of breath. he finally pulls off your panties, tossing them to the floor as he spreads your cunt wide open with two of his fingers, and god, you looked so erotic, all shying away as he loomed over, fingers playing with your pussy. "You ever touched yourself like this before?" You nod, bottom lip captive between your teeth. "J-just a little..." Oh, god. "You're so beautiful, fuckㅡ" And he's already losing his mind. Nights of fantasizing couldn’t have prepared him for this.
placing his palm behind your knee, he lifts up your legs, laying light pecks onto the plush of your thighs, thumb now tracing down to your puffy clit. Josh starts slowly, swirling his finger and still kissing your soft flesh. "Thank you for letting me do this." tracing the entrace with his index, he pushes his finger slow and deep inside, and you arch against him. this was it. he was where all of his dreams led him to. you looked like something straight out of a 80's porno. cunningly, josh moved his finger, and before you knew it he added another one. you squeezed perfectly around his digits, the sounds you and your pussy made driving him to the brink. "You hear that?" he asks, curling up his fingers, the wet sounds amplifying. "don't think I've ever had a pussy this wet before..." you whimper ans wrigle under his hold. "Josh.."
"What? It's the truth." he chuckles, speed picking up, his other hand now flush to your lower belly. "Want you to come. Can you do that for me?" he looks up, doe eyes searching for yours, and you can already feel your body convulsing. it didn't take long for you to finally give in and gift him what he asked for, coming just from his fingers. the way you thighs squeezed together, trapping his hand between them, soft pleads dripping from your lips like honeyㅡ he was done for. you were embarrassed, to say the least, hiding your face into his shirt he had taken off long ago. "Stop that, heyㅡ look at me, baby." Baby. did you just come again? "You did great. so good." he leans in over you, pressing a soft kiss on the bridge of your nose. "Do you wanna keep going?" and you say the most eager 'yes' known to man. "i got you." he smiles, eyes tracing every curve of your body. he takes off his pants along with hus briefs, letting his shaft spring free, small pearls of precum already gathered at the tip.
your eyes opened. what the fuck? is that normal? you knew your first would hurt, but seeing what Josh had going on for him you knew it would be the most painful experience for you yet. "Don't worry. I'll go slow." he stumbles a bit back, grabbing a hold of his trousers, palming his pockets before he mutters a soft 'there we go.' and takes out a shiny wrapperㅡ a condom. the opens it and carefully takes it out, lining it with the tip of his aching cock. "If you ever wanna stopㅡ" he start, whilst rolling the condom down his length. "Tell me. Yeah?" you nod.
taking his length into his fist, Josh pumps it a few times before he aligns it with your entrance that trickled with juices. he lets it slip in, and your eyes close as tears threaten to fall. you claw at his back, but Josh kisses you as he slides in some more, your walla wrapping perfectly around himㅡ just like it was meant to be. "It's okay, you're okay, baby."
after going in the last couple of inches, he starts to move, gently holding down onto your waist as he lets you adjust. "Doing so food for me."
just a few strokes after he feels you wrapping your legs around his hips, urging him deeper. "Please.." You plead, the sweetest sounds escaping your plump and swollen lips, and he swears he could come just by that. "Fuck, yeah, okayㅡ" he groans, with the way your teary eyes stared up at him. He starts to move his hips, harder, deeper, each sound you made an encouragement. His palms make his way under your back, pulling you up, almost to sit on his lap. He fucks up into you, your arms lazily draped over his flexed shoulders whilst his lips kiss soft blooms onto your chest. you clench around him. "J-Josh..." he shakes his head, laughing as his fingers dig deep into your flesh where you know bruises will appear later. "Don'tㅡ ha, I'm gonna come if you keep doing that." whines slip past your lips as his speed picks up. "Shit, shitㅡ" he pulls you closer, lips now stuck to your neck like a locket. "Y-you gonna come?" he prys. "Mhm.." you squeal as your eyes roll back. "Go ahead, for me." that's all it took. you come once again, nimbly wrapping around josh like a vine, walls squeezing him so tight. your mind goes blank, only soft moans gripping your throat as Josh pumps into you, finally releasing inside of the condom with a few thrusts.
you both breathe heavily, hearts beating in a sing-song, as you come down from your high. realization sets in as you meet each other's gaze. it was real. it really just happened.
"You okay?" he leans in, pressing a lazy kiss onto your lips. "Yeah... How okay can one be after having sex for the first time..?" and he laughs, playing with the strands of your hair. "Thank god for the rain covering the sound. You were super loud just thenㅡ"
"Josh!"
#josh washington#josh washington smut#josh washington x reader#josh washington x you#joshua washington#until dawn#until dawn fanfics#rami malek#rami malek x reader
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guh.
#loner.txt#bangs head on table. GOD.#knowing that the relationship and friendship i have with my best friend#will no longer be the same. its a lot to deal with and have to accept#ik i have to and i should. but deep down i dont want to which is frustrating#i dont want to be clinging to smth that doesnt exist anymore really#its not that were not friends anymore no. its just really complicated and its. a lot.#idk this and my ex. has been eating at me so badly lol <33#i dont enjoy any of these feelings. sighs.#i want to be good i really do. but it gets hard. and everything becomes frustrating.#i think i just want a stable and close relationship at the end of the day bc its smth im just. lacking that.
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i have finally landed a job interview and i have Such mixed feelings about it
#on one hand: fucking finally i will be making my own money#on the other hand. sigh.#cant wait to do something i dont enjoy for at least eight hours per day five days a week#clenching my fist and thinking about the things i can buy to convince myself this is worth it#crafts. i can contribute to kofis. art. tasty beverage without feeling monumentally guilty. saving up to move somewhere i want to be#absolutely unprompted#i would add on the pro that id be less of a family disappointment#But that ship has long since sailed. any pride my parents express will just make me uncomfortable/mad so technically its a con!#'finally youre contributing to society' i dont WANT to contribute to society#society is a capitalistic hellscape. society needs a fucking reform#fuckign... biting people...#i belong in the paleolithic area. i would kill it at hunter-gathering. everyone would want me in their hunting/foraging group#id live so bright and fast and then die of eating the wrong mushroom... as nature intended...
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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just found out that some people apparently think milo murphy's law is transmisogynistic, perry is bad ace rep because he's ace as the "safe" option for queer rep, dan and swampy are bigots who shoehorn all of their queerphobic rhetoric into all of their media, and that phineas and ferb was a bigot's paradise all along... it's joever
#i just find it ironic considering a whole lot of dwampyverse fans are queer and enjoy what the shows have given us#and are appreciative of perry being ace rep#i never once thought of any of this in a negative light before#but the video i just watched (which is like. 30 minutes of reaching and has 18k likes) just frustrates me#i personally dont think the krill hunter episode was a jab at trans people and instead was just a deliberate joke about cis men#but i guess people think otherwise? idk#the only thing i ever found questionable at all in any dwampyverse thing was the tokyo segment of summer belongs to you#just... sigh... i guess im not allowed to enjoy dwampyverse content as a queer person of color anymore...#pack it up everyone... it's over#i have so many reasons for why i disagree with a majority of these takes but#ive already spoken about it so much elsewhere and its 7 in the morning and i feel physically drained#from reading about first world white queer discourse about non-issues#had to shake out the last of the ranting somewhere to feel at ease now im going back to sleep#wish pain from my operated foot didnt wake me up at 4am and my cat didnt keep me awake now i feel so chronically online#ria.txt#work has been a bitch but ill hopefully post art stuff soon...#though after the whole hacking thing i feel like restarting this blog#tags are longer than the actual post sorry im tired and yelling into the void
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shiv being pregnant is like, i know trust the writers etc, probably been set up for a while, but it feels very “of course its come to this” especially in a gender issues story like hers... hard for writers to resist the allure of “what a [cis] woman character can do that the [cis] male cant”
#really enjoyed in bcs that children wasnt even a topic in kims story#not even in a denial way#she just simply had other things to do and other stories to have#i dont mind pregnancy stories on principle it depends on character and story type and setup#just feels kinda Sigh at times#esp if its the most prominent female character and there arent any other on that characters level#mjc textposts#succession spoilers
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...
#me this morning: wtf am i gonna do today? might as well set up samples and be productive i guess#bc i couldnt possibly try to enjoy my day or try to clean up my apartment or do any of thr million non school related things i should do#sigh... nope im here in the lab setting up samples. blurring the time away#i just wanna draw. thats all i really wanna do. draw poor bby narut0. and like its weird. i dont understand other ppl#like all i wanna do all the time is draw and learn. and even when im doing other things that usually what i want to do#so ill be in the middle of some event. feeling nothing and thinking abt those things#like idk thats why its so hard when ppl r like: what do u like to do? bc its only 2 things obsessively so i likd to do them but i also have#to so its also stressful. and when i do other things im like glad for the experience but i also dont feel anything abt it#idk it just feels like im not processing things right. but idk u dont have to like things that u feel ur supposed to#but if i just dont engage with the things i feel nothing abt my world becomes even smaller. so im stuck driving myself nuts doing the same#things over and over but i don't even kno what i want to do differently bc i dont like anything. v annoying and frustrating if u have to#engage with me bc there r all these rules#but anyway thats y im so excited to start a phd bc then school will occupy my time and ill b more interested in my day job#im just so ready to leave this place. i wanna go back to the mountains#unrelated
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Feeling intimidated by french again
#sigh#i thibk part of it is being in a server with fluently billingual and sometimes trillingual speakers in english and whatnot#so it feels like im doing worse than i actually am#however i did look it up and it turns out that with 1h study a week it takes 10 years to vecome fluent#and 5 years with 2h a week which is about what im doing#ish#so im actually not that behind im just impatient#idk the frenchies say my french is good which is always encouraging#but im still feeling behind#behind who? who knows#i have lethal comanoui with them later this week and im nervous still#i love playing it but its effectively like being a baby simulator lmao#which often dissolves into me just making weird noises or copying them to feel the words in my mouth#je suis un bébé 😔#je ne sais pas c'est intimidant d'apprendre une autre langue.#i want to write more and i want to roleplay more in french#buuuuut that means finding someone to do it with#and i love the frenchies but sometimes im worried that i feel like a baby compared to them#and its not like i can offer any english language classes to them since theyre so good at it#X_X#idk realistically they dont mind and im like 99% sure they enjoy the lethal companoui (not its name)#but its still like. worrying you know#ive had penpals drop in the past so. yeah
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slams my head violently against the wall /neg
#the yapper#sighs.#gonna rant in the tags for a bit. (feel free to respond‚ i dont mind. i just need to get my thoughts out there)#also if you see any ships/characters censored its not because i hate them. its because i dont want them to pop up on the main tags !!#i fucking hate. hate hate HATE it when people shit talk certain design choices and ships and aus in the fandom#well. in any fandom really. but this is my ppt blog so this is what i'm gonna be talking about#but anyways back on track#i dont care if someone doesn't like something. thats the not the problem#the problem is when they don't like something and start being super fucking mean about it#i dont care if you hate d*ynap or p*ppyn*gs or oc x canon or tall c*tnap or skinny d*gday or [x] au or etc. i respect your opinion.#i DO care however‚ when you start being a dick about it. i dont respect you anymore when you call an au bad or shit when it doesnt feature#your favorite ship. i dont respect you anymore when you get mad at/disrespect an artist for drawing a character in a way you dont hc#or when you go under an artist's drawing to say 'cute.... but [x] is better ^_^' (boils my fucking blood. just say its cute or look away.)#or when you get mad at them for not centering their au around the ship you like. all of this includes when you do it behind their back‚ btw#i'm not asking anyone to engage with content they dont like. but good lord.#can you not talk about the stuff you dislike without putting them and the people who enjoy them down?? you sound like a jerk.#hrfhdg idk dude. it just makes me so angry and sad. please do better you guys.#sorry if this came off as too harsh. i'm just really sleepy and upset right now. so sick of this entitlement and these fuckass ship wars#it's so draining#im gonna take a nap and see if it makes it better#i'll also start drawing when i wake up !! sorry for anyone who was waiting in my askbox. my mind's just been occupied lately
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i was super gonna say something when i opened this app but i lost it. wuh
#wind howls#i am sleepy and im sleeping soon i promise. but there eas something i was gonna say and i forgot#umm.. oh in the end my dash and everything still loads on my phone. no idea why it misbehaved earlier#all good now. hmmm#what else. end of semester is starting to hit and it is Not Very Pleasant if i can be so real with you all#like i enjoy what i do. it definitely is fun and im enjoying my classes for thr very most part#but gweh... im onto the final projects for like. modelling. editing. space/architecture. animation.#and we missed a few classes in photography bc of the strike and other stuffs. and the teacher has covid.#so im not sure what the hells up with that class. were not even onto the final project/exam i dont think.#and the teachers are likely striking again from december 8th to 14th which like. weh#classes end on the 11th so its not the end of the world but we still have quite a few projects due#and strikes mean the school is out of use. so we cant like. use the school computers to do our assignments at all#and some of those assignments i cant do at home bc i dont have the programs for it because adobe doesnt deserve a single penny from me.#all in all were really in it deep and a bit rough. it couldve been easier but i understand the need for the strike#sigh...#big assignment due on friday that i havent started yet. i hope to do it all tomorrow after i finish my classes since i end at like. 3 pm.#and i dont have any after school plans other than going to the bank so ill be able to work on that for a lil bit at the very least.#hopefully i could even finish them. so that i can spend thursday worry free. maybe even relax.#i feel like ive been running all week ! i need a breather and 17 hours straight of sleep !!!#goodnight !
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AYO I was just thinking about that fic... Sorry For Sucking And Not Writing In Yet but it had some really strong imagery so I totally get wanting to adapt parts of it... I think you should go for it if you want to but when have I ever not been all-in on an idea Lol...
Also do you think she remembers his name... do you think she feels sorry for him like he does her... do you think she just thinks of him as her asshole ex-boyfriend or something in between or outside of that...
LMAO S'ALL GOOD no needa stress bout writin in all the time, esp since i know you're real busy nowadays.. you've done more than enough to show your support for the stuff i do i think you can forgo an essay a time or two ♪(´▽`) maybe if i dont know what to draw and im tired of workin on The Other Comic ill play round with scenes from it lol
i dont think ikumi has any ill will towards sawashiro- i mean if she did she'd be 1000% valid for it OOP but what little we saw of her, she doesnt seem the type to hold grudges. at least From What I've Seen (and what i know how my family and i tend to be), people who come from 'broken backgrounds' tend to internalize their anger or grief opposed to expressing it towards others, or they can at least forgive people quickly. when they were together, sawashiro might not have demonstrated the same grief she did at the time (maybe he dodged the topic entirely for However Long After they stayed together, but As An Audience we know that's his defense mechanism), so whether she feels bad for him or not isn't clear in my head. at the very least, she probably assumed he was handling it better than she was (not to be confused with apathy/indifference to the situation, if his consultation to her at the station is any indication to her that he was aware it was a tough situation)- which uhhhhh would turn out to be The Biggest Lie Ever LMAOOOO
i'd like to think she remembers his first name if anything...
#snap chats#not that i dont love readin your thoughts on stuff i do OF COURSE but i do A Lot Of Stuff...#totally understandable to not write in every time (❁´◡`❁)#in any case.. if she was willing to run back to get masato then i'd think she was a sentimental person early on#or at the very least was.. attentive. i cant think of the exact word but its making me feel like she'd remember his name#//loud annoying sigh// i just think theyre neat........ i like the idea of them grieving over masato or something#or meeting up later in life Just Once and sawashiro updating her on him...... he's a decent enough person to do that. somehow.#'sawashiro' and 'decent person' shouldnt be in the same sentence if 'is not a' isnt in between yet i cant say he totally sucks..#like he sucks but.. yk what i mean... he has SOME standards and morals... Somehow 2x... it makea my kokoro go dokidoki ANYWAY#i already wrote a fic bout them meetin up didnt i LMAOOOOOOOOO //dying noises// i enjoy them..#i just want ikumi to have some peace. rgg you cant convince me she was a throwaway character not when you've named her#she's like a bird i meet during a walk that i impulsively name im too attached now
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Interruptions
Kenji Sato X FEM!S/O! Reader [afab]
TW :Smut/explicit language and descriptions/ implied sex/brief Emi mention/Mina cameo/Mixed POV/ pnv/ fingering
⚠️MINORS DNI⚠️
©all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.
Hours and hours of baseball, taking care of Emi, dealing with the KDF, his dad and other mental exhaustion, Kenji was stressed. Relief, yes relief that's what he needed and what better way to do that than with his lovely partner. The minute he got the chance to pin his partner down, Kenji got to work.
"Mhmm..sweetheart..what's gotten into you?"I kissed him back with equal fervor whiles tilting my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Kenji's heart skipped a beat as his wife kissed him, her words sending a shiver down his spine. He savored the feel of my arms around his neck, my body pressed close to his. As I whispered into his lips, a sly smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"Mmm..I just miss my girl..and I miss being inside you"He huskily replied shamelessly, his hands roaming across my thighs, gently squeezing my skin. My skin felt hot as he was being so goddamn shameless.
"You know you can't be saying such lewd things?" I breathed shyly as he pulled off my shorts and panties, tossing them behind him. A sultry chuckle left his lip as he bit down hard onto my neck causing me to whimper.
"Why not, huh? MAKE ME STOP. I can say things ALOT worse than that" Kenji whispered, challenging me to even TRY IT, whiles nibbling on your ear. Kenji wasn't gonna waste time with clothes, he was wanted his girl NOW.
"W-Well..K-Kenji..d-dont be so vulgar" She flushed whiles tilting her head. I wasn't expecting any late night love making. Especially Kenji's forward and lewd behavior. Usually he was so so soft and sweet, didn't seem so today.
"I said make me baby, now shut up and let daddy take care of you "Kenji rasped firmly and dominantly. My mouth closed with a squeak only for a gasp to fall out as Kenji plunged two fingers inside me.
"K-Kenji" I gasped as my nails dug into his biceps. My legs tried to close on instinct but Kenji spread them open with his knees still keeping me pinned against the wall.
"Aww..You're so wet already..Good for me cause we don't have much time" He was right. Emi was gonna wake up in about an hour. Kenji liked taking his time with intimacy, he enjoyed worshipping me and showing my body the most delicate care but not today. Kenji gently slid his fingers out and gave me a passionate kiss on the lips. "I love you so much..god I need you." He whispered in reassurance and slight desperation.
"I love you too, my love" I smiled. Kenji unzipped his jeans quickly before taking his hard cock out of underwear with a slight sigh of relief. I yelped slightly as he picked me and didn't even hesitate before stretching my pussy open. "K-Kenji"
Dear God, the sigh of relief this man let out as he was welcomed by your warm, tight velvety walls. It was as if all stressed vanished. Kenji's hands tightened around his lover's hips and he began pounding into her relentlessly. "Y-Youre such an angel, my love. Y-Youre so good to me. So beautiful. A good girl. And all for me" Kenji grunted letting out a guttural groan.
My brain turned to mush the second the head of his cock hit at my sweet spot. My back arched into him and my head fell back as moans left my lips like a broken record.
"C'mon, baby. You. Can. Be. Louder. Than. That" Kenji's thrusts deepened and increased in pressure with each word. Each brush against my g-spot sent me spiraling as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and my walls tightened around him.
"Atta girl. You're so tight..christ" Kenji groaned. His fingers were digging into my hips as he relentlessly pounded into me with no chance of easying up or stopping. My moans raised in pitch and volume. My hands dug into his biceps. "You're so close, aren't you, my love? Make me a mess for me. Do that for me?"
If I could answer I would but he was so deep and so goddamn good at making me come undone, I couldn't even respond. My brain short circuits with each thrusts. I screamed his name like prayer, because he felt so good. I could see stars and what looked to be heaven as my orgasm washed over me like a wave. Lord almighty, he always succeeds to make me make a mess all over his cock. Kenji smirked in triumph, a brush to his ego.
"That's it, my girl. Y-Youre doing so well. I-Im so close and I'm gonna fill you up, okay? Make you all nice and warm" Kenji whispered tracing sensual kisses all over my jaw. I was sensitive and the way he was going, I was gonna cum again.
"Pardon the interruption, but Emi has woken up early" Mina's voice broke my state of bliss of bliss as we heard her voice through Kenji's watch. Kenji cursed and almost yelled from frustration. He was so close to finish line.
"Interuptions. Interruptions." Kenji groaned annoyed as his hips still didn't stop moving. "Give me five minutes."
Kenji moved with extra vigor and desperation. He was so close. His thrusts were deep, fast and erratic but they remained constantly hitting my sweet spot. My toes curled once again as I felt the heat washing over me again. Kenji let out a long groan as he finally caught his relief and his seed filled my womb. I panted heavily from the second orgasm in a close time period. Kenji kissed my cheek and lips, affirming me.
"Well done,my beautiful girl. I'll come take care of you just now. Give me a few minutes and we'll go for round two okay?" Kenji whispered into my lips. I just nodded still blissed out. Kenji pulled himself out and laid me down on the bed. Giving both of us a quick clean clean before shuffling to elevator to take care of Emi. Mina, ever so present kept pestering him.
"I'm coming. I'm coming"
-The Lord will forgive me for the filth I have posted and he will forgive YOU, for reading it🥺 If you guys want more smut..uh..let me know..because I need some time to process the filth I have written for daddy Kenji😈 I love you. Stay safe, drink water and stay hydrated and healthy🥰
Credits to @soranatus for the gif😊
#emi ultraman#ken sato#ken sato x reader#kenji sato#kenji sato x reader#ultraman 2024#ultraman rising#ultraman#kenji sato masterlist#ultraman masterlist#kenji sato smut#oneshot#Spotify
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[REUPLOAD] skz + hands (and how they use them)
warnings: hand kink, sexual content (MDNI), fingering, oral (f receiving), squirting (hyunjin), putting that i mention jeongins church ring in here bc some people are religious n i aint tryna stir the pot
notes: a reupload from my previous blog !!
Chris : Man absolutely fingers you to the Gods. He's the type to know his hands drive you wild and he will absolutely use it to his advantage. That little 'Hall of Fame' move? Yeah - he's doing that shit to you under the dinner table when you join the boys for a night out. He's extremely good at using his hands to coax an orgasm out of you. (And you best bet he rubs over your clit with his thumb. Man is too experienced in fingering at this point. He knows all of your weak points.)
conclusion: uses his index and ring finger during sex + thumb for the clit <3 skilled enough to use one hand and make it amazing
Minho : He... *sigh.* I'm going to be that person and say that when he fingers you, you can feel the veins in his fingers. Not in a gross way - in a like, textured... ribbed-for-your-pleasure-dildo kind of way. His hands are soft - incredibly so - and because of how the blood pools in his hands any time he lowers them below his ribcage, you just feel it when he's kneeling over you and two fingers deep in your pussy. He'll use his free hand to touch and pinch at your clit though - he's a little too disoriented to use just one hand. But he loves the way his hand looks when he grabs at the plush of your thigh and the veins in his hand become more prominent the tighter he holds onto you, keeping you open for him.
conclusion: uses his middle and ring finger during sex, uses the opposite thumb for the clit <3 too eager to use one hand, gets messy and uses two
Changbin : He - Girl. He.. *sigh pt. 2* He's the type to not...? finger as much? But more, use his hands to spread your pussy open for him so he can shove his tongue as deep as possible into you. He's going to use his hands to hold your thighs apart (as if his broad ass shoulders dont push your thighs open enough) but he's going to do it specifically by putting his hands on the junction between your thighs and hips and splaying his fingers are far apart as he can. (also an ass grabber.)
conclusion: enjoys some good handfuls of ass while he eats you out
Hyunjin : Absolutely fingers you - but always does three instead of two because he's an overachiever. He's going to be fucking you with his fingers so hard that the fucking wet squelches that come from your pussy are NOTHING short of absolutely drop dead sinful. Y'both goin' to Hell for the way he destroys your pussy with his hand. Also, who cares about the clit. You're not even going to be worrying about that because you'll be too busy squirming and crying at the way he fucks you with his fingers.
conclusion: the type to fuck you with his hands so hard that you squirt. that's his end goal.
Jisung : Less of a finger-er, more of an eater. A grabber. Very grabby. He'll hoist your legs over his shoulders (mf is broad and nobody ever talks about it bc they're too focused on his waist) and slip his arms (which are again- big as FUCK) under your thighs so he can rest his hands on your abdomen. He likes feeling over your sides and tummy, maybe even reaching up to pinch your nipples and he's absolutely going to be just groping and kneading at your breasts when you start to squirm against his face.
conclusion: likes to grope and grab, knows you enjoy the feeling of his hands on your body.
Felix : Again, less of someone who fingers and moreso someone who eats. Man is hungry. Man needs that meal. Man - needs that meat. (LMAO SORRY) Anyway absolutely will grab at you while he eats you out. But unlike Ji where he's groping and grabbing and whatever - Felix will slap his hands on your thighs, arms wrapped under your legs, and then he'll lay there and eat - and knead at your skin while he does it. There is never a moment where his fingers aren't digging into the soft plush of your thighs and kneading the skin, pulling lightly on it and feeling how it bulges between his fingers. He's weak for it.
conclusion: thigh man 100%
Seungmin : The type to start by eating you out and letting you relax and think you're being taken care of but then slip his middle finger in and fuck you with it while he abuses you with his tongue. No warning, just a sudden intrusion that's definitely not unwelcome. Uses his free hand to pin your abdomen/hips down to the mattress so you can't move around too much. Also the type to absolutely bury his face in your pussy and try 'n get his tongue as deep into you as he possibly can. A messy eater.
conclusion: eats you out like you're his last meal but likes to keep you on your toes and wiggly. he thinks you're so cute.
Jeongin : We all know he's got pretty hands. (next to seungmo, imo.) So we know he's going to use his long fucking fingers to destroy your pussy. Definitely the type to use his middle and ring finger to fuck you, free hand splayed over your thigh to push it away from his head. You swear on God he's pushing at your cervix every time he goes knuckle deep and it makes you try to close your thighs but he refuses to let it happen and holds you open. Where Seungmin fucks you with his tongue and his fingers - Jeongin fucks you with his fingers and lets his mouth take care of your clit only. But his tongue is a topic for another time.
conclusion: certified clit sucker. has the longest fingers known to mankind and keeps his rosary ring ON while you fuck.
#skz imagine#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz smut#bangchan x reader#felix x reader#stray kids smut#changbin x reader#lee know x reader#Jeongin x reader#seungmin x reader#han x reader#Hyunjin x reader#hyunjin smut#bangchan smut#lee know smut#Changbin smut#han smut#Felix smut#seungmin smut#Jeongin smut
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4:36am – gojo satoru
synopsis. satoru is dying (he has a fever) and he needs his darling wife (you) to nurse him back to health
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, even in sickness gojo can still flirt, he yaps a lot abt marriage and he’s kind of perverted, but he’s just so in love why dont you just give him one chance?
notes. i tried to make this very shoujo-esque. cant have a good shoujo anime without a fever episode! this has also been sitting in my drafts for a hot minute. enjoy yet another fic of me showering satoru with affection (sigh).
the cold wooden floors of your dormitory creak underneath your waddling feet. your sleepy haze does not deter you from the strong desire for a cold glass of water.
surprisingly, the usual dark communal kitchen is illuminated by the small lightbulb inside of the fridge. you hear shuffling of some items from the white icebox, removing any ounce of sleepiness from you. it was unusual for anyone to be up at four in the morning.
a tuft of white hair peeks over the refrigerator door, giving the culprit’s identity away.
“satoru? i thought you were still on that mission in sendai?”
the sounds of digging pauses. satoru’s rises to his full height, towering over the rundown refrigerator door. he gives you a crooked smile that you rarely see. it’s dopier than one of his signature cocky smiles.
“missed me? don’t worry, i tried to speed run it since i knew i had such a beautiful woman waiting for me back home.”
you placed a hand on your hip, scoffing at his pathetic attempts to flatter you. a snarky response was about to fall from your lips, but a series of painful coughs from the lanky male stopped you.
you recoil back to avoid his germs. “gross. are you sick?”
satoru sniffles, pointing his nose in the air. the same nose that was starting to turn pink from irritation. “i can’t get sick. it’s physically impossible.”
“don’t be stubborn, satoru. why didn’t you call for help?”
he huffs, eyes trained to the floor. “it’s too early. shoko’ll kill me for waking her up.”
sometimes you forget that satoru had an image to uphold. he was the great gojo satoru, after all.
but if you don’t take care of him, then who will? and despite your disdain at the thought of coddling his ego, it was only basic decency to take care of a fellow peer (or that was what you’d like to convince yourself).
silently, you place the back of your hand to his forehead. you’re not surprised by the warm sensation that you feel.
satoru’s hazy eyes watch as you move your hand from his forehead to his cheek.
you purse your lips in concern. with the way satoru was stubbornly denying that he wasn’t sick, you were nearly certain that he was indeed not fine. without warning, you grab the collar of his white t-shirt and pull him to your room.
“at least take me out to dinner before~”
“shut it.”
it wasn’t hard to get satoru to settle in your bed. in fact, he seemed giddy at the opportunity. while he was happy cuddling with your rilakkuma plushie, you came to two conclusions: either satoru had a wound from his mission that got infected, or he was simply sick.
knowing his pride, you lean towards the former.
the boy in question winces when you grab his shoulders to inspect the damage done to him. the sounds of furious pats and heavy breathing is the only thing you can hear over your rapidly beating heart as your hands run down his body to check for any injuries. satoru sucks in his breath when your hands cup his cheeks to loll his head to check for any damages done to that pretty face of his.
his body tensing up doesn’t go unnoticed by you. your imposing hands immediately retract, afraid of inflicting any more damage on him.
“where is the wound?!” your frantic eyes meet his blissed out ones.
satoru sighs happily, lazily grabbing your hands to bring back onto him, “there isn’t one, this just feels nice.”
your chest angrily puffs up before you shove him into your soft mattress. he grunts, but you know it didn’t hurt.
“[name]!” he whines, rubbing the arm that cushioned his fall.
you cross your arms angrily, “you scared me!”
gojo mimics your actions, crossing his arms while weakly glaring at you. his efforts to intimidate you prove futile as he shivers uncontrollably, resembling a newborn kitten.
sighing, you delve into your closet, emerging with an oversized black sweatshirt that you toss to him.
he catches it with ease, a chuckle escaping while he inspects the sweater, “i never took you for the type to wear this.”
“....that’s not mine.” you give a nod in the direction of the men’s sweater. the sparkle of amusement vanished from satoru's eyes, coinciding with his jaw dropping.
his grip on the dark sweatshirt tightened while his head darted back and forth from you to the clothing item. “then whose is it?!”
“suguru’s.”
you think that you’ve broken him when his face scrunches up in disgust. it’s laughable how his mouth had managed to stay wide open the entire time.
“sugu-suguru?!” he splutters. you slowly nod, careful not to make any sudden movements that could provoke him any further. “why– how– explain yourself!”
you cast an uneasy glance at the sweater, finding it challenging to summon any recollections of how you obtained it, especially with satoru's piercing cerulean eyes fixed on you. his scrutinizing stare has the power to reduce you into a puddle.
“well? go on,” he urges you when you stay silent.
“it’s nothing, really. i believe it was from that mission i had with suguru a while back. somewhere up north. i had packed light and suguru offered me his sweater.” you tap a finger on your chin to recall the memory. “i guess it just slipped my mind to return it.”
“slipped your mind, huh…” satoru sniffles before letting out a sneeze loud enough to wake up japan. you nearly jump out of your skin.
“suguru was just being friendly… and be quiet! yaga will have our heads if he finds you in the girls’ wing!” you warn the weary boy in front of you, prompting him to respond with a dramatic sigh.
“how mean!” he whines before making a pained expression. you quickly rush to his aid. when you make it to his bedside, satoru weakly hands you a clean tissue.
you stare at it blankly.
“be a darling and help me blow my nose?” he gestures for you to hold the tissue up for him. all you can hear are muffled whines when you shove him underneath your plush covers.
when your flurry of attacks ends, he cautiously lifts his head from beneath the sheets. to his surprise, a steaming bowl of bitter melon miso soup is presented to him. while the broth isn't your personal favorite, shoko appreciates its bold flavor, spurring your decision to prepare it the night prior. despite its bitter components, the concoction had a perfect track record of treating illnesses. you have your brown haired friend to thank.
perhaps it was cruel of you to take enjoyment while he eyes the bowl in horror. you know his sweet palate couldn’t handle it.
he looks up at you with big pleading eyes while shaking his head. you roll your eyes.
“c’mon, it won’t kill you.” the bowl inches closer to him by your doing. “please?”
satoru's pallid complexion contorts into a hesitant frown. "i’ll eat it…” he concedes reluctantly. however, his gaze lingers on the bowl with a mixture of uncertainty and reluctance. you respond with a hopeful smile, but it fades when he adds, "on two conditions."
“this is for your own health, not mine satoru.” you remind him.
“doesn’t it pain you to see me suffer?” he brings up, eyes glittering in the darkness.
you suck in a breath. “...not really.” lie.
“you wound me, love.” he clutches his shirt like he has been critically hit.
you bite your lip, tired of his theatrics. “what are the two conditions?”
just like that, gojo comes back to life.
“condition number one! you have to feed me.” he points one finger into the air, paired with an innocent smile. “and two: i want you to warm me up like that night in our first year.”
an unflattering appalled expression is cast over your face. no words leave your mouth for a good minute. “y-you’re disgusting. why are you the way you are?”
“love,” he sighs. “anyways, what kind of wife wouldn’t feed her husband while he’s dying?”
“satoru,” you warn. he was starting to babble nonsense again. “if i accept your conditions, will you shut up?” your eyes were starting to feel heavy. it was the middle of the night, after all.
he nods fervently.
carefully with the bowl of soup in hand, you gently squish yourself next to satoru on your full sized bed. the tight fit left you little room to move, forcing the two of you to nestle closely to each other. with a gentle maneuver, you rest your head on his chest. his arm slowly drapes itself protectively over your shoulder.
“your heart is beating awfully fast.” you whisper, tilting your head upward to take a glimpse of satoru’s feverish face. his breath hitches.
he takes a hand and holds your head back onto his chest to prevent your movement.
“shut it. i didn’t think you would actually accept my conditions.” he mumbles.
“don’t get used to it. this is another moment of weakness.”
you stir the spoon in the broth, basking in the silence of the night, save for satoru’s erratic heartbeat.
“this is very intimate isn’t it?” he gushes. “it’s almost like we’re married—”
“keep your side of the deal,” you remind him, lifting a spoonful of broth up to his mouth. satoru looks straight into your eyes as he opens his mouth to receive it.
his adam's apple bobs when he swallows, “i’m going to tell our grandkids that we were written in the stars.”
you shove another spoonful of soup into his mouth.
extra notes
satoru magically recovered from his fever the next morning.
his second condition (for you to warm him up like that night in your first year) refers to this fic from earlier on in the series.
satoru also made you promise to never accept another hoodie from suguru. if you needed one, satoru was more than willing to give you his! (you halfheartedly agree, only because he was acting all delirious because of his fever).
as of right now, there have only been three occasions where satoru has fallen asleep in your presence. he can testify that those were the best nights of sleep in his life.
shoko went into your room for a spare pair of stockings the next morning only to find you tucked into gojo’s chest. she chases him out of your room all while calling him a pervert . bless her heart.
#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#remember spring days!au#rsd!au#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fluff#gojou satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x reader#gojou x reader#gojou satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x reader
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i really don’t understand people who think they’re doing the lord’s work for spreading around m*tty healy is problematic posts and twitter threads thinking it’s their duty to save taylor from a problematic dude and someone saying they just have to live with her decisions or not stan her anymore if they can’t handle it is somehow the unreasonable one idk
#think whatever you think feel however you feel#but feeling like you can and should control someone’s life is weird!#even if they’re not the shiny clean person you want them to be or thought they were#iiiiidk#i said on my tay blog that I don’t hate the guy and am enjoying the relationship actually#and lost like 5 followers in a minute#it’s WILD#sorry i don’t think he’s the scum of the earth?#he’s a sleazy guy 100% and has said terrible things etc etc etc#my post was actually about how i’m so sick of speaking in caveats and defending myself#for not WANTING to have to defend myself#because i dont wanna defend him or his actions or any shit#i just wanna uh enjoy a pop culture moment without it being seen as a morality test#which is what this has become for sw*fties#and i think someone broke mutuals with me over that and it jsut makes me sad lol#because this is legit the most fun i had in the fandom for a bit bc i Love both their music. music!!!! not their every action or tweet i jus#sigh.#personal#but now im posting about it here bc well lol
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[Yandere.Rich man x ballerina reader]
(I don’t actually know much about ballet so forgive me if things are incorrect!)
—————
Rich. Yandere who was pestered by his friend and his wife to join them at the opera house and enjoy a performance. The couple had asked him numerous times before but he’d always declined. He was a workaholic and didn’t have any other commitments, so there was no need to break his routine. Although he would never admit it to anyone- he barely does to himself- he often find himself imagining a different life; one where he had a wife to welcome him home every evening. Perhaps a few children too. There was no sound besides himself and the staff in his home, it would be so very nice to hear the noise of running feet and happy chatter echo through the empty halls.
Rich. Yandere who is lonely above all else. His family is dead and he has next to no friends- the only one he has is married and devote all his time to keep him company. He knows that he doesn’t have the best track-record of being the kindest person in the world, and he might not be the friendliest or the most out-going, still, doesn’t he deserve some love too?
Rich. Yandere who eventually give into his friends demand and goes with them to the opera. As they took their seats- the expensive and best ones, of course- his friends wife babble on about her favourite dancer. They were regulars there and had seen many performances. He simply sighed and leaned back into his seat, waiting for the show to begin. He could only hope that it’ll be somewhat enjoyable since he doesn’t like wasting his time.
Rich. Yandere who was prepared for it to be a dreadful 3 hours, rubbing his eyes and suffering from lack of blood-flow in his legs. Oh how wrong he was. Instantly his gaze zoomed into you as soon as you stepped forward from behind the curtain. You were so beautiful and you moved your body gracefully to the music. It was magical. While he knew close to nothing about ballet, he knew that the point of it were for the women to look like they’re floating, and it’s exactly what you were doing.
Rich. Yandere who is instantly enamoured with you. As someone who’s never felt love this was all a brand new experience for him. He asked his friend and his wife if they knew who you were, since they frequent the opera so much. And turns out the wife did know who you were; you were her favourite after all. Rich. Yandere was never close with her or particularly liked her even, but he had to give it to her: she has excellent taste in performers.
Rich. Yandere who starts looking up information regarding you. It’s be your name, age, background, family, where you went to school and where you live. Everything. He also begins donating a lot of money to the opera house. In a short amount of time he’s become their nr.1 funder. The managers and owners are ecstatic at the news! They ask why he’s so generous and he simply answers that he loves culture and thinks it’s important it doesn’t disappear. Then, they wonder if there is anything they can do for him return, to which he smiles in response.
“Well, I do suppose there is one dancer I would be delighted to meet in person.”
Rich. Yandere who you feel uncomfortable around. He is so strange. You were just a normal ballerina, a dancer, no better or worse than anyone before your time. That’s why you can’t fathom the interest this wealthy man has taken in you. You two came form completely different worlds! But what can you do when your bosses not-so-gently urge you to see this man alone? You dont have any other skills and can’t apply to another job if you get fired.
Rich. Yandere who is determined to make you fall for him the way he has fallen for you. He’ll take care of you, love you and protect you. You don’t have to worry about a thing. He will do anything for his love.
“Don’t be scared, just keep on dancing, my little dancer.”
#oc#yandere oc#obsessed#male yandere#possesive#misstycloud oc#toxic#yandere#yandere x reader#rich yandere#yandere rich man#yandere rich#yandere x ballerina#yandere x ballerina reader#yandere rich x ballerina#yandere rich x ballerina reader#rich man x ballerina#rich yandere x dancer reader#dancer reader#ballerina reader
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