#i dont claim to be an expert but i really had fun doing this and i hope you enjoyed reading everybody

[daemon-is-perfectly-unhinged]

HTTYD List of Dragons that I’ve compiled including some of the most important, the freakiest, and generally ones I loved the most. And plenty of them that I believe Rhaegar would geek out about in a Viserys-Lego-Years-Long style.

@syndrossi I hope you enjoy the read.

I figured to start out with the main dragons we meet in the first film as well as the ones we follow the most in the series since the main characters are their riders. These are the ones that have the most personality as well since we spend so much time with them, but almost always see personality in every dragon we meet in the show. The fun thing about these dragons is that not one of them have a whole ‘monster’ vibe ‘we gotta kill it’ no, there’s a reason why they act this way, sometimes they’re hungry, they’re searching for something, it’s about survival, but overall, the majority on this list are intelligent but wild animals. Some can be trainable, some can’t be, and that’s fine.

Dragons in this universe have a type of Class. I’ve never delved fully into it but from my recent research I’ve seen:

Stoker Class - mainly fire types, although a majority of all dragons have fire-breathing these are the main direct fire ones that rely on it the most.

Boulder Class - heavy, tough scales, mainly shoot lava type fire and eat rocks.

Sharp Class - contain some sharp anatomy body-types or sharp extremities, like spikes or horns.

Strike Class - very fast, very agile, amazing accuracy.

Tidal Class - water dwellers

Tracker Class - a new class in the show, it can be given to other dragons from other classes, it’s in the name, they’re able to track almost anything from miles away.

Fear Class - stealth, sneaky, terrifying.

Mystery Class - generally where dragons are placed when there isn’t much known about them or they’re very rare. It isn’t unusual for dragons to show up in Mystery Class only to be placed in a Class they fit in better after getting to learn their abilities and traits.

Now, onto the dragons! Dragons in this universe are ‘trainable’ in the sense that with enough time and trust, a dragon can technically be bonded to any human. This does not apply to all dragons of course and not to all humans, as a human needs to be as open as the dragon to form a bond. A rider is also not limited to their dragon and vice-versa. While they don’t typically switch around, there have been moments when main characters ride other dragons momentarily or their dragons are ridden by other people (again, rarely.)

Their diet is also mainly fish-related and raw. Although it depends on the dragon, some prefer chicken or goats, even fruits. And as we know, Boulder class enjoy rocks.

Night Fury

The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself. The only one we ever really meet is Toothless. He is the fastest of the other dragons, a Strike Class and his flame is typically referred to as Plasma Blasts. Quick and powerful projectiles that land heavy damage to their enemies. Night Furies also tend to dive-bomb in a fight, using speed as their weapon and they have echolocation! They have retractable teeth and amazing accuracy, Hiccup himself says that Toothless “never misses”. They also have great acute senses, in the first movie, Toothless was able to hear his rider screaming all the way across the village in a hidden cove. This also showed how loyal Night Furies are as Toothless clawed his way out of that cove to get to Hiccup (something he tried before but couldn’t achieve before their bond was formed). They’re also intelligent creatures, when Hiccup spares his life upon their first meeting and decides to let him go, Toothless could have just killed him but recognizing mercy, let him go as well.

Deadly Nadder

Nadders are very beautiful and they know this. They enjoy pruning and keeping themselves clean. Nadders are in the Tracker Class (used to belong to the Sharp Class). They have folded spikes on their tails that they can extend and shoot like projectiles at enemies. Nadders are similar to birds or chickens in their walking stance, they have a blind spot right below their jaw but be careful! They have excellent hearing. They enjoy hunting in packs. Nadders are also very loyal to their riders, putting themselves in harms way to keep them safe.

Gronkle

A Boulder Class dragon, Gronkles love to eat rocks and shoot molten lava (and lava rocks) as their main fire power. They have thick heavy scales and a tail made for offense. They’re not the fastest with their small wings and they prefer to be on the ground (thats where you find rocks!) In the show, our main Gronkle, Meatlug, was fed a particular combination of rocks that led to her molten lava coming out and forming a type of light but incredibly tough metal. (Think of it as their version of Valyrian steel.) Sociable and like packs.

Monstrous Nightmare

These can be a bit of a show off, they like to think they’re the toughest of the tough in their Stoker Class. Perhaps that’s because they can light themselves on fire! Yep, Nightmares’ scales produce this flammable gel that they can activate to light on command. Hookfang, our resident Nightmare, doesn’t get to do it as often because it would burn his rider.

But since Jon and Rhaegar don't burn it wouldn't be much of a problem, although I doubt they'd like going into battle naked. OTOH, Daemon next to a flaming Caraxes is a new-level of terrifying.

Hideous Zippelback

Our only main Mystery Class dragon, oh! And did I mention he has TWO heads? Meet Barf and Belch, one head (on the left) breathes a green awful gas while the other has a sparking-type flame that sets the gas ablaze. After a while, dragons tend to mimic their riders personalities more often than usual, so when their riders, a pair of twins called Ruffnut and Tuffnut, start bickering or fighting, it’s not long before Barf and Belch start literally butting heads with each other.

Zippelbacks are also notoriously loyal to those that help or save them. When Hiccup and Toothless save them from a rock avalanche, the dragon sticks to the pair, in debt to them until it was repaid.

I particularly love how each head has a specific function and it isn't just random or basic like fire and ice (IYKYK). They're part of a cohesive system and work together, they need each other.

all these previous dragons mentioned are easily trainable and sociable with both dragons and humans after the effort is put in.

bonus: Hiccup reading the Book of Dragons for the first time, we see a bunch of different dragons here for the first time! This is where we get to see the different types of dragons as well, and we do eventually meet all of them throughout the large franchise.

Time for more dragons! The following are dragons we get to see in the show, a few more recurring than most. The show does have a usual dragon-of-the-week format but not always. And it always depends on the situation but regardless we always add more to the dragon lore.

Whispering Death:

Boulder Class dragon that prefers to be underneath the earth than flying above it, uses its thousands of teeth to drill into the very earth.

Very lamprey-esque that still fills me with nightmares.

Have poor eyesight and a terrifying roar.

Hold grudges against dragons and humans.

Not the best fliers as they prefer to be on land.

They don't often travel in packs but they can, although it isn't brought up much.

not trainable.

Screaming Death

He’s just a lil guy.

An albino giant Whispering Death called the Screaming Death in the show. It's said that a Screaming Death only comes to be every one hundred years. This one is a recurring obstacle in season 2 for the gang of dragon riders.

The Screaming Death we meet is a thousand times more ferocious than any previous Whispering Deaths’s we’ve seen before. He’s also barely a year old.

More than that, he was taken from his mother which is the cause of most of his behavior until he reunites with her in a season finale where he had been an ongoing obstacle for the the mains.

untrainable— DON'T EVEN TRY IT

Boneknapper

What a name.

A Mystery Class dragon that, because of its weak scales, uses the bones of dead dragons to protect itself.

Very stubborn, it will go far and wide for years on end to find the perfect fit for his armor, even risking its life in the process.

Has a deafening roar that can send Vikings ten feet away from him. He's incredibly stealthy and able to sneak up on anyone.

We meet this dragon in a special short film.

trainable after some effort and offering something he wants.

The Scauldron

A Tidal Class dragon, meaning he's a water dweller.

The Scauldron shoots boiling hot water at its enemies.

Typical loners, and like most water dwellers they can't go long when stuck on land.

That’s how we meet Scauldy, a Scauldron that is stuck on land and the riders wish to rescue. He forms a bond with Ruffnut thanks to her fish-scented hair.

trainable, but rare and under the right circumstances.

Timberjack

A Sharp Class dragon that we actually don't get to meet in the main series but rather the sequel series set in the future (it's eh)

Timberjacks have sharp wings that can cut through entire forests (and enemies).

They closely resemble Monstrous Nightmares in a way.

Loyal to their riders regardless of anything, these aren't dragons to mess with.

Trainable

Usually solitary.

Extra extra: EVEN MORE dragons for Rhaegar to go crazy over.

Terrible Terror

So, in the books, Toothless was just a small common Garden dragon that got his name from the fact that his teeth just hadn't come in (and then when he got one, he lost it in a fight to an adult dragon).

When the writers began planning for the movies, they knew they wanted Hiccup to have a dragon big enough to ride, thus the size and species changed.

And so the Terrible Terror was born as an homage to the original Toothless.

Terrors are the size of a large cat or an iguana, they purr like cats and are part of the Stoker Class, so they are fire breathers.

But what they lack in size they make up for by attacking in large packs.

Terrors ended up being something of a comic relief from time to time. Although Hiccup did begin to train them to deliver messages, inventing 'Terror Mail'.

trainable

Thunderdrum

One of the few Tidal Class dragons able to breath fire although they don't use it often, their main method of attack is actually a strong concussive sound that can kill a human in close range.

They can dwell easily on either land or water, and they can expel the oxygen from their body to flaten their bodies to be able to glide across the surface and easily catch their prey.

They can be reclusive but enjoy travelling in pods.

Thunderdrums are also hard of hearing, making them the only dragons known to be immune to the Deathsong dragon.

trainable but they are stubborn and a challenge.

Changewing

This Mystery Class dragon is able to camaflouge using its chamaleon-like scales to blend into their surroundings.

Instead of fire, they shoot hot, corrosive acid that burn rocks and wood (as well as humans). They're also incredibly fast and stealthy.

One alone is a threat but can be taken down, thus why they hunt in packs. But they're large enough to defend themselves too.

Their packs also follow a typical lion pride style, as their females are the hunters.

Aggressive to humans and other dragons, they're also not opposed to eat both.

not trainable

Night Terrors

Not exactly cousins to Terrible Terrors although they do receive their name from them.

These nocturnal Stoker Class bat-like dragons opperate best as a team.

They unite in masses to form a large shape as their main defense to scare off predators, typically following their Alpha (a slightly larger sized and white scaled Night Terror.)

We meet them in the beginning of Race to the Edge, the riders claim an empty island of their own and come across these little guys. By taking away the leader, the rest scramble and run, not able to function together as a group. They get along well and name the Alpha Night Terror, Smidvarg.

Since it's their island too, they come to an agreement and the Night Terrors act as sentries or sentinels for the island.

trainable.

Armorwing

Not unlike the Boneknapper, this Mystery Class dragon uses metals to protect their scaleless bodies.

Their bodies are also somewhat magnetic, any metal coming into direct contact stays there until they can properly forge it.

Speaking of forging, when they do melt metal onto their body, their fire is unsually bright and one of the hottest seen.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were to be reclassified as a Stoker Class, even their shape is very Monstrous Nightmare-like.

Some actually have a preference for specific metals. It could range from iron, bronze, silver, or even gold.

Smothering Smokebreath

They get their name from the fact that they can't breathe fire but rather exhale extreme thick plumes of black smoke.

These guys are not inherintly aggressive at all, they actually prefer to avoid fights.

They're always in packs due to their small size, only slightly bigger than Night Terrors. Together, their joint smoke breath appears like a natural fog bank, keeping them hidden and safe from predators.

Their reputation has been quite supernatural for years, thanks to their smoke, no one has ever gotten a good look at what they look like, making them larger than life and spreading scary tales.

They're also little thieves that like shiny things, typically stealing anything metal to keep in their caves.

not trainable, they don't like to leave their home, although i wouldn't 100% rule it out.

Speed Stinger

Okay, I know, they look like velociraptors from Jurassic Park, bear with me.

For decades they were believed to be a rumor or legend.

The ultimate of the Strike Class, they don't have wings but are the fastest dragons on land that you'll ever meet. And I hope you never do.

They're scavengers and hunters, always in packs and never alone, using their poison tipped tails to paralyze any victims they claim.

Incredible aggressive and not an easily susceptible threat.

They typically get to places by running across glaciers and frozen bodies of water, but over time other packs have evolved and even developed webbing to be able to run across water.

They aren't trainable but it's not impossible, the riders once found an injured adolescent Stinger, nursed him back to health and managed to train him for months before sending him back to his pack.

This was a specific circumstances case, so I would still call them untrainable.

Deathsong

The Deathsong is one of new dragons we get to meet and name along the way.

Very beautiful on the outside, resembling a butterfly to attract prey from afar but that's not all it can do. Coming from its name, the Deathsong's most potent form of attack is its siren song.

Able to attract and disoritent humans and dragons alike.

Once prey has arrived, the Deathsong is able to shoot out an orange hot type of lava at its victims that hardens instantly like amber.

This way it keeps its victims on standby before consuming them, dragon and human alike.

Aggressive and solitary.

Not trainable as an adult, but we did see the riders train one since he was a hatchling, forming a bond that lasted even years after being in the wild.

Foreverwing

The only dragon we don't get to see in the movies or the shows but I included him since he was just so interesting.

He's one of the Titan dragons due to his colossal size and has thick foliage and trees that grow on his back.

Foreverwings sleep for a long time, typically on mountains so their backs grow larger and denser, becoming homes for all matter of creatures, dragons and animals alike, able to live in peace and harmony amongst each other.

It also spews copious amounts of lava able to take down entire villages.

More dragons:

Dramillion - this dragon is capable of mimicing fire blasts of other dragons

Snow Wraith - a cold dwelling dragon, entirely white with red eyes, solitary and impossible to find

Catastrophic Quaken - her mouth opens in a split way that makes it terrifying. also can curl into itself like an armadillo and smashing themself against enemies or large rocks

Typhoomerang - A new species of dragon that the gang encounters. Their first dragon that isn't in the Book of Dragons actually, so they get to name the species and spend time with a hatchling for a while. These Dragons leave scorch marks on the ground not unlike a typhoon sigil and tend to come back down the same way, like a boomerang.

And there are so, so, so many more.

[ganondoodle]

Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

[mari2akary]

Hhhhh, ok so I’m liek, hella shy abt even asking this so bear with me

I’d like to request a Laughing Jack x gender neutral!reader (platonic ofc)

and uhh- id like it if it has like, a lot of teasing 🧎🏻. And if it mainly focuses on the legs and stomach (but no feet stuff pls 🆘) I’d also like to have an already established friendship with him if possible

EE, TYSM IF YOU DECIDE TO DO THIS, IF YOU DONT THANKS FINE, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT/ DAY

I think I have an idea, I'll see what I can do.

fear and friendship

Y/N was visiting the scare house in the abandoned park in her city, why? you will wonder. The answer is easy to answer, she was visiting her friend Laughing Jack. They both had a lot in common. They liked to play, eat sweets, black humor and they couldn't tolerate people who claimed to be your friends and then forgot you.

and although Y/N did not approve of her friend killing believing it was just a game, she did understand where such an idea came from. She knew how much it pained Laughing Jack to remember her first friend Issac, so she tried never to mention that name or ask about her past with that boy.

However, this day, she was not having as much fun as other times. She had recently seen a horror movie without her parents' permission and it had scared her a lot. It didn't help that the movie was set in an abandoned park like the one she was visiting.

"Jack, why do we always meet here?" Y/N asked with fear in her voice.

the colorless clown let out a creepy laugh, before responding. "because this place is perfect to play together, my little friend. Besides, I love scaring visitors who dare to enter my domain"

"Does this place never scare you?"

"I'm hardly scared of anything, I'm an expert in terror after all, are you afraid of this place?"

Y/N thought about it for a few moments, she knew that her response could hurt him and that was what she wanted the least. "I don't know, I saw a scary movie set in a place just like this. And I can't help but feel like the killer in that movie is following me."

Understanding that his friend was like this because of a scary movie, the clown looked at her with disbelief full of hope.

"That's all, really?" He asked her with a smile that spread across her face, revealing her sharp teeth. "Are you afraid of a horror movie? Isn't there another reason?"

"Is that too little?" Y/N asked confused.

Then out of nowhere the colorless clown started laughing.

"Laughing jack, this is not funny" her friend defended herself.

"Of course, of course," he admitted without stopping laughing. She walked over and wrapped her long arms around him giving him a big hug, "Be honest, aren't you really scared that I'm a monster?"

"No Jack, I'm not scared that you're a powerful entity. I know that if they don't bother you, you don't do anything to them. But the monster in the movie I saw even looked for people who didn't know about him."

"Y/N, would you like to see a fun trick?"

"Of course," her friend responded enthusiastically.

then Laughing Jack disappeared in a cloud of smoke and black confetti. then the lights of the abandoned house began to flicker, creating an even creepier atmosphere.

Y/N looked around feeling how her fear was growing more and more, and she began to feel that at any moment something would jump on her. Then out of nowhere she felt claws graze her back and when she turned around Laughing Jack caught her and started tickling her stomach mercilessly.

"ahahahaha But whahahahat?" Y/N started laughing and trying to get away.

Laughing Jack continued tickling her, enjoying her friend's laughter. "right now you can't escape."

"It's hahaha not fahahahair" Y/N protested without managing to get out of the creepypasta's firm grip.

"Life isn't fair, little one," Jack reminded her.

The clown continued tickling her until Y/N began to lose her balance and her legs ended up giving way, which the creepypasta took advantage of to start tickling her behind her knees.

"behecahahause?"

After a few more minutes Laughing Jack stopped and responded "because we are friends and I like to see you smile."

"Thank you, Jack."

Y/N sensed that that was only half the truth, but she wouldn't put pressure on his friend, she knew that he would be more open as time went by. Maybe she would even regain her lost colors one day, but until that happened she would continue doing her best to understand him and support him as much as possible.

(the tickling scene is short, I know. Apologies for that, this was my first published fanfic, I know I will improve over time. I accept suggestions on how to improve my fics)

[dejjablu]

Hi! I’m a-random-nerd, you can call me Star if you want. Saw you reblogged that post about wanting more asks so that’s what this is :)

I followed you for lotr stuff, and I was wondering what you think about the differences between the book and movie versions of the Hobbit?

I personally have only read the book (multiple times) and I’m planning on watching the movies, but from what I’ve seen (in posts) they added in a fair bit of characterization of their own for the dwarves and especially Thorin. Does that line up with your experience or do you think the movies stay pretty true to the book character-wise?

I’m free to talk about lotr and especially the Hobbit anytime if that’s soemthing you would also like :) hope you’re having a good day!

hii Star!! im so happy you decided to send an ask, it brings me so much joy!

and oh gosh.. i could talk about this topic for HOURS. if i honestly had the talent to formulate my thoughts into a whole video essay i would... but i shall do my best!

so i have seen both the movies and read the book (am rereading and reading in my native language) and i think i truly love them equally! they have a special place in my heart now ever since i randomly decided to rewatch the movies a couple of years ago now.

there is of course a lot of controversy surrounding the hobbit trilogy which i think is not quite fair compaired to the lotr trilogy. again am no expert in storytelling or filmmaking for that matter but as a simple fan and viewer i too can judge of what i like about the adaptations. and you are correct! they put a lot of characterization for the dwarves to make them into more like their own individuals and have personality. they are all so lovable and they did a really great job with them.. and especially getting thorin's story and presence across very well. from hearing the stories and thoughts from the cast of the dwarves especially, you can feel how dedicated they were to the job of bringing their characters and this story to life.

now the big controversy and difference of these films being the changes in the story, adding in characters that were not there originally and pre-production being a bit of a mess with warner bros. some major differences in desolation of smaug the most i think... that legolas is there, theres a love story between tauriel and kíli, some differences with bilbo's encounter with smaug, also the more emphasis of the arkenstone. now i know its also controversal of all the cgi in the film compared to the lotr trilogy but honestly, it was in an era when cgi was the big thing to have in movies in the 2010's i believe. it does not excuse from being a bit too much cgi when there could of been some practial stuff instead maybe.

but the films for what they are i think are really fun and entertaining and i wont pretend they are...to me they are really good in their own way as a tolkien book adaptation. so my biggest problem with the controversy being people who claim all the problems with the hobbit dont hold the same towards the lotr trilogy, that i mean with story changes that would deem it "not a faithful adaptaion", to me lotr trilogy is not really a faithful adaptation if you look at it literally, its really good because its made well in its own way the best they thought they could make it... but does not mean its perfect. the hobbit isnt perfect either, but again, its really good for what they managed to make from interpreting the original book. there as also another thing of that the hobbit didnt need to be a trilogy but honestly, being the massive nerd i am, i want that.. give me more.

now i could talk about thorin FOR DAYS even but to summarise for those who have to read all of this. i love how they made thorin in the movies.. a little different maybe how he is in he book, the thing about making him about middle-aged instead hasnt bothered me. the actor, richard armitage who has quickly become a favourite of mine, put a lot of dedication to his role as thorin from having a personal connection to the book and it just warms my heart seeing that love and care for it, from the whole main cast really.. i love them dearly. i saw the movies when they came out in theatre when i was a pre-teen and i was blown away from seeing it.. and years later when i found my way back again and reading the book as well, can't do anyhing but love it. it is not a faithful book-to-film adaptation but i think its really great, its linear and as the original plot points.. if you just want a fun watch i believe the movies are great, if you ever want to discuss if you end up seeing the movies, dont hesitate to come around again!

im sorry if i strayed too much from main question and ive tried to summarise the best i can.. i shall add on if i remember more things i could bring up! hope this was something to read at least! <33

[ohpossuhm]

even the replies to a jellyfish post can be rage bait if youre a me and filled with rage all the time/lh

(very rambly btw)

if something is 95%water you process the water as water, the 5% thats protein is protein, aside from the water in a jellies body, its literally like, 99.99% protein.

watermelon is 92%water

and people just hating on it as a food rubs me the wrong way in general, given its significance in several asian countries. no one is eating only jellyfish for the rest of their life unless youre a sea turtle in which case even you will eat a few plastic bags as well.

even if its just a fun texture snack and they did have 0 nutritional value who gives a single fuck, you shouldnt demand no one eat it or try to discredit it as a food at all- and also also no ones forcing you to try it, if its not your thing thats fine, typically the species being eaten (probably not 100% i wouldnt know, im not claiming to be some expert im just a guy who reads articles and a book sometimes) arent endangered. and if whatever species theyre talking about is endangered then its a entirely seperate conversation needing to be had not the nutritional value or culinary value

so many of the responses just felt very ethnocentric, unwilling to look at these several cultures thatve been doing it for hundreds or thousands of years completely writing it off

theres so many different ways to eat jellyfish too, saw one person saying “put that in the oven itll just evaporate” well if you dont want that dont put it in the damn oven! i dunno jellyfish crisps sounds pretty fun tho- ive mostly seen/heard of it in stir fry or noodle or raw so idk what theyre on about.

like i get it, people dont like new things anf thats so incredibly fine, its just a problemmm when you try to recruit people to your opinion as morally or in this case i guess nutritionally superior? it was phrasd a little poorly so i would consider it a little moral too tbh- but instead try this “oh i dont like that but you might” or “im not interesting in trying that but i wont be making anyone feel like they shouldnt try it” personally i dont wanna eat bugs for the texture, but fuck id try it once, especially if the texture issue was removed via turning it into a burger or cricket flour and into bread

i would fuck up a cricket burger tbh i love burgers

read some thing a whiiile ago about mixing cricket and beef to make burgers and the tasters couldnt tell the difference until it was 20%beef 80%cricket- thats probably a way over simplification of whatever they actually tried- i also think it was not a scientific study just some people making burgers

bugs are more efficient protein in terms of production- ie i give yiu 10lbs of corn u give me 8 lbs of cricket OR just 1 lbs of cow

if we wanna talk about overlooked sources of protein,,, fucking;

bugs are where its at dude

but jellyfish are good too! everyone’s food doesnt have to look the same and id argue it really really shouldnt

i love burgers i would kill 1,000,000 crickets for a burger

[binniesthighs]

call me babydoll | reader x chan

a/n: ahhhhh holy holy heck this chapter is SO DAMN EXCITING hehehe I had sosososo much writing and doing all the research!! please let me know if there is anything factual/cultural that I need to fix! I tried the best I could although I most def am not an expert in Egyptian culture so I appreciate it a lot :) hehe i hope ya have fun reading this chapter teehee oh! also I love hearing what you thought of it too! :D 

Four 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x bang chan 

Genre: action, mystery and suspense, fluff, smut, angst 

Tags: (of this part) bodyguard au, secret agent au, royal au, moderndayprince!chan, secretagent!reader, secretagent!jeongin, secretagent!jisung, collegestudent!seungmin, royal!minho, skz side characters, adventure and mystery, action and peril, plot driven, running out of time, slow-ish burn, growing feelings, sexual tension, explicit language, several mentions of food and alcohol as well as getting tipsy/drunk that good, good making out, suggestive themes

CWs: mentions of guns, mentions of knives, themes of jealousy (expressed by the reader) 

Word count: 7.5k

Parts 

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE 

“Well, we’re in Cairo alright.” 

Two tugged the amazed young stow-away-student, Seungmin, by the hand of his backpack to keep him from running into one of the palm tree planters decorating the terminal. The young man had nearly slept the whole flight due to the length as well as the exasperation that he had just been through. While his eyes were still darkened from his nap, his glossy pupils still wondered all around him. 

“I take it back. I’m so glad that I almost died so I could end up here with you guys.” 

Jeongin slapped him from the backside of his head. “Never be thankful for almost dying. Life is a lot more fucking fragile than you think. This isn’t just some joyride--” 

“--Ease up F.” You interrupted your partner as you shouldered your bag. The kid had already been through enough already: he didn’t need accosting on top of it all. 

The dashing prince sighed out and stretched his arms. “Ahhhh Cairo. It’s been a while; too long actually.” 

The airport was humid: the kind of sticky warmth that dripped down your neck in a matter of seconds to then get caught above your lip. It wasn’t much help to the anxiety that already had seeped into your veins. The closer you got to a gun the more comfortable you would be. You and the other two guards created a formation around the prince with two in the front and the other in the flank. While each of you were dressed in regular street clothes, your responsibility of his detail still hung over your head with a severe air. 

Chan threw his arm over the young student with an obscene grin. His hair had become a little disheveled from the plane seat and his hoodie, but he didn’t appear to mind. Seeing him so normal was somewhat of an odd change to your previous unbreakable impression of him. 

“Seungmin my friend, you’ve never lived until you’ve been to Cairo. I’ve never seen another place so enriched in history in my whole life...it puts my kingdom to shame. It’s almost like...you can just feel the time here: hundreds of thousands of years...beauty, art, food, industry...I’ve got a thing or two to learn.” 

Seungmin nodded at the prince’s grandiose gestures in the terminal with an enamored smile. “I can’t wait to see it!” 

Your partner put a firm hand on the prince’s back to guide him to the baggage claim. “We won’t be here for long, so, don’t get too excited. We’ve come here for one reason and we shouldn’t dally otherwise.” 

The young boy appeared to frown, and Two bit his lip with a little chuckle. “Way to crush the kids dreams F.” 

“You know the mission, J.” Jeongin gritted his teeth with the words. “Everything is set, there will be a car waiting for us in the garage, and at the hotel we’ll have anything we need.” 

Prince Chan lulled his head back with heels clicking on the flooring. Rogue strands of his hair hung over his sunglasses where he threw a look back at you while pulling them down. 

“Don’t forget our little deal Bee? We’ll have time for a little pleasure.” 

The white haired agent rolled his eyes with gusto then adjusted the royal’s glasses over his face. “We’ve still got to be careful, you Highness. We never know where they could have eyes.” 

“I know where I’ve got mine...” He turned back once more to throw his cockiness in your general direction. 

“Listen to F, your Highness...if you want to live.” 

“Oooo. Feisty as ever, Bee. I love it when you bite back.” Chan turned to his new pet, Seungmin, “She’s really something isn’t she?”

The young man nodded, but not necessarily because he agreed, but it just seemed like it better to agree with a prince than to disagree with him. 

The air appeared to turn even thicker in the summery and arid city and your group approached the parking lot half shaded. Outside of the cement lot, iridescent waves of heat wiggled on the horizon, and further, the astonishing urban sprawl of Cairo, and just over it, the stretch of the Nile and Giza. Palms and other varieties of plants spotted the landscape and above it all, a perfectly crystal blue sky streaked with thin clouds. Had the circumstances been different, you really would have wished to have been there for pleasure. 

“This one. Right here.” Jeongin announced upon spotting the black armored sedan. It wasn’t the most inconspicuous vehicle, but you were prioritizing safety over aesthetics. Your partner touched his index fingerprint to the car door’s invisible panel, and it flashed blue just as the lock had at the safehouse with the ticking clock insignia. 

Two whipped his head around to make one last check of the surroundings before taking off his sunglasses and reddened eye. “Get in. Both of you.” He urged the prince and the student. He popped the drivers side open to find a different pair of glasses in the storage compartment: gold framed aviators. 

“Huh,” He said happily while putting them on. “This is more my style.” He rummaged around a bit more to find a new pair of black framed glasses there too. “Fox! Think fast!” He threw them over to your partner who sighed out with relief. 

“Thank god.” 

The trunk opened with a mechanical sounding creek, and you lifted up the trunk bed to find your whole arsenal: Heckler & Koch MP5′s submachines, Remington 870 shotguns, and Glocks complete with thigh holsters. Among the pile of metal, various knives and other weapons were held in foam holders. 

“They’ve got knives back there?” Two asked while pulling the rearview mirror to see. 

“Oh yeah. What? You more of a knife guy?” You teased while looping your thigh holster over your cargo pants. It fit just right. 

The illusive man popped his gum with a shiny smile. “‘Don’t ever have to reload them...that’s what I’m saying.” 

“Thank you Carroll.” Jeongin sighed upon seeing the thick laptop among the weapons. “Finally I can do some real work. That kid’s damn Chromebook was killing me. I nearly short circuited it trying to connect to our network.” 

“You what?!” Seungmin was suddenly much more interested. 

“Dont worry yourself too much, its still fine.” 

“Are there cameras in here?” You quickly asked your partner. 

“Agency should’ve fried them a long time ago. Why?” 

From the trunk bed you sized up the Glock to feel its weight and how cool it settled into your sweating hand. You unloaded the magazine to see that it had already been filled. 

“Carroll. She really is too kind to us.” You slid the magazine back in then, pulled back the slider to lock it once more, catching Chan’s adoring glance. 

“Something interesting pretty boy?” 

The prince appeared to shiver a little, but brushed it off sighing, “Oh, nothing.” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Either it was Carroll or the King, but someone had spared no expense on the young prince. The sun set upon the sparking Nile where you had arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel Cairo at Nile Plaza. 

Anything for His Royal Highness The Prince. 

The towering and gleaming building was a sight to behold in and of itself. It was nestled right into the riverside anchored with several leisurely sailboats bopping in the evening breeze. As day crept into night, the city grew with a swell of lights washing as far as you could see. Extensive bridges and roadways glowed with headlights and every building appeared to be illuminated along with more boats strolling down the river in a rainbow of colors and music. 

The prince craned his head as close to the window as he could and rubbed together his hands excitedly. He looked from you to your partners, finally making a disapproving scoff. 

“Come on. You’re not just a little excited to be here?” 

“We’re here on business, how many times do we have to explain?” Jeongin typed away at his computer from the front seat. 

“Bee?” He looked back to you with a hopeful little glint to his eye. 

“Like Fox said...tomorrow is our appointment with White Rabbit, then we’re on the first flight back home for you.” 

The young prince frowned, but this quickly faded once he had seen the golden brass doors to the magnificent hotel. Seeing the state that the four of you were in, it was a bit comical that you had rolled up to a place such as this. Immediately a valet and bellhop jogged up to the car wearing perfectly pressed uniforms and spotless shined shoes. Little did they know you had no belongings to your name...the rest was waiting in your suite: the royal kind. 

Seungmin cranked his neck to take in the scale of the building in all of it’s regal glory and let out an airy laugh his with his backpack straps snapped tight. 

“Holy shit.” He exclaimed with a giant smile 

Two rose a “no thank you” hand to the valet, and asked him where the garage was in perfect Arabic. The gesture surprised you...as many things did with that man. Jeongin gave a little nod in appreciation to the bellhop and expressed with his own broken version of Arabic that you group had no luggage. The young man was confused, but still gladly took the bills that Jeongin had slipped into his hand for the inconvenience. 

“We’re staying here?” Seungmin wondered while he followed you in. 

“When you travel with The Prince, it comes with some perks.” Chan tore off his glasses with a particularly prideful grin. 

“I feel like I need to pay for just...breathing in here.” 

Indeed, it was a luxurious and grand place. The atrium was patterned with various plush lounge chairs and benches and the path was made of emerald green marble tiles with swirling designs of beige loops. Thick, round columns also supported the ceilings in the lobby, and crystal glass chandeliers sparkled. On several tables, massive floral arrangements had been freshly placed, and you wondered how much the hotel must've paid for them to look that good just to have them replaced the next day. 

A couple formalities were exchanged with the worker at the front desk, and soon the keycards to the royal suite were placed into your hands. Seungmin held his piece of plastic as if it were a gold bar in his hands whereas Chan shoved it right into his front pocket. 

“Everything that we should need should be up in the room.” You told the group who were too distracted to hear what you had just said. 

Just before you had entered the elevator, a tug at your sleeve stopped you in your tracks. Jeongin pulled you back, nodding at Two to go with the others up first. 

“Remember what we talked about before?” He muttered in the hollow and stone corridor. “About the prince?” 

“I need to stay beside him?” 

Your partner nodded with a furrowing brow. “We’re out in the open here, it’s a big city...anyone could be watching us. No distractions, no messing around, no anything. We see White Rabbit and we leave. Hell, I’m even inclined to make sure he doesn’t leave the room...” 

“Jeongin...” You squeezed your partner’s shoulder which felt stringy and tense under your fingertips. “I got it. Trust me. He won’t leave my sight. I promise.” 

“..Okay.” He said with a nervous brush to his hair, then he pressed the elevator button with his knuckle. 

“You...okay?” 

The young man appeared to snap out of a trance. “What? ...Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m keeping it together fine. It’s just...there’s a lot riding on this mission. I don’t...” 

The gold and reflective elevator dinged to the ground floor. 

“We can’t disappoint Carroll with this one. There’s too much riding on it...I can’t disappoint Carroll.”      

You invited your partner into the marbled and mirrored interior of the small space. 

“Don’t worry, we won’t.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━ 

 Even without the help of his royal helpers, Chan managed to clean himself up nice...provided, only the finest clothes had been sent for him to wear. While they weren’t the usual designer labels that he was used to, it was clear that they had been picked out from the finest markets and boutiques in the area. Chan, as he always was, was a prince to the full extent of the word. After a shower and some perfume to his chest, he was the same man that you had been introduced to. 

A loose linen shirt swayed from his frame with little regard for the usage of buttons. He wore slacks that had been pressed made of a kind of fabric that you had never seen before, but looked airy and comfortable. As always, there was a small assortment of shoes for him to choose from as well. He picked brown leather loafers, then tucked up his sleeves to reveal his arms; scratched as they were, but still strong and spiderwebbed with thick veins. 

Arrangements had been made for you to share one of the bedrooms with him--as much as you had fought it at first. Chan was thrilled with the idea, and gladly let you settle into his room with your small assortment of sidepieces and modest set of clothes by regulation of The Agency. While it had mostly been denim button downs and several kinds of functional trousers, they had sent an evening gown. 

The silky white fabric was not unlike the dress that had worn for the gala, but it appeared to be even more sultry once you held it to your frame. The thin spaghetti straps barely held to your shoulders and the back dipped nearly halfway down your back. 

Knowing the man that you had an appointment with, you figured the dress would make it just a little bit easier to talk to him. Along with it, there was a matching set of diamond earrings and a necklace that glinted with the same sheen of the sea. 

“You’ll look gorgeous in that.” Chan said while slipping on a wristwatch. “I’m sure that it will suit you perfectly.” 

The wooden bedside nightstand creaked when you put your holster and Glock in with a matching matte black knife. You had to be careful with that one, as it had nearly cut your finger upon inspection earlier.         

“Hm. I think the both of us know that you’d prefer it on these lovely marble floors rather than on me. Correct?” 

The confident prince strode across the room in the dim lighting of a couple lamps with stained glass shades. Outside of the balcony attached to your room, the sheer curtains blew in the night air and distorted the city lights across the river. Further, Cairo Tower surged with a pink light wrapping around the length were the cylinder pierced the sky. 

“Maybe.” He tutted, then crinkled the king-sized bed where he sat. The prince’s disposition was alluring, there was no denying. He tiled his head to inspect you further, jaw clenching with a sharp angle and a testing glare to his brown pupils. The man smiled slightly while rubbing his index and ring finger down the sleeve of your considerably less scratchy blouse. 

“I hope that during our time here Bee, I’ll get to know you a little better. I’m...really looking forward to our drink later. I made reservations for us.” 

“Reservations? When did you do that?” 

“Oh. When you were showering.” He smirked at his sneaky plans unbeknownst to you. 

“If you think that I’m letting you go anywhere else besides this hotel--” 

“--Bee?” The young royal grew quieter, softer, careful even. His hand cascaded from your arm down to your waist where he tentatively went to grab at your hip and squeeze lightly there. 

While your first reaction was to swat him away, your second crept up on you unexpectedly, and swelled with a kind of confused euphoria feeling the pressure of him on your body. You let his hand linger there, thumb pressed into your hipbone. 

“You don’t need that dress to be beautiful.” 

His words snapped you back; sickly sweet, and sticky in your chest. You cast his hand off of you. 

“You’re crossing the line, your Highness. Don’t...don’t touch me again.” 

The royal sighed as he rose, then inspected his face in the sizeable mirror. Each of his cuts and scars had been skillfully covered with makeup the best he could manage.  

“Bee, I’d cross multiple lines for you. I thought you knew?”    

“THIS BED IS FUCKIN’ AMAZING!!” Seungmin called from the opposite of the suite. 

The prince smiled, then followed you to the door. 

“I’ve already got enough on my hands, your Highness. I ask that you not distract me.” 

“Distract you?” 

As soon as you had said it, regret bit at the tips of your ears. You couldn’t meet his teasing glances, but rather slid one of your more discrete sidepieces into your crossbody bag--as if guns as such could be such a thing. 

“I-I...I’ll sleep on the couch.” You then resolved out loud, however the prince chuckled at your sudden break. 

“As you wish Bee.” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“I think that this is the best meal that I’ve ever eaten in my entire life!!” 

Seungmin kicked his legs under the table to the embarrassed glances of both Jeongin and Chan. Before you, the prince had ordered a variety of both cold and hot mezzah dishes with a couple main entrees for you to share. While he was the only one to drink, he indulged in the most expensive wine that the hotel had to offer. Granted, everything would be paid for in cash from The Agency, however the Prince swore up and down that anyone could order anything that they wanted and that The Agency would be paid back in full. You and your partners ate modestly, however the young student didn’t hold back. As the boy shoved his face, it appeared to make the prince happy to see him eating so well. 

You were still an odd group, and garnered curious glances from other restaurant guests. While they were only glances in passing, they still didn’t make you feel any better. You had already drawn enough attention to yourself with you being an odd mix of foreigners who each held themselves differently. You could sense that you partner felt it too while he sipped at his seasonal soup with eyes up to scan the room as he did so. 

Chan threw his arm behind your chair to take in the rest of the room: perfectly decorated with jade green chandeliers and perfectly symmetrical wallpaper and furnishings. It was as if he felt somehow content with your strange little group; like he was the ringleader of it all or some king of the round table. For a moment, he paused to watch the way that the boats passed by on the river from the window nearest to him and sighed. Knowing him, he was probably enjoying running for his life in this way. 

Two cleared his throat and unbuttoned his fashionable suit jacket as the waiters came to clear the table for dessert. 

“So. What are the specs for tomorrow?” 

Jeongin fiddled with his glasses, then dabbed away at the corners of his mouth. “He’s invited us to come around 11pm. He wants us to dress up too--as I’m sure you’ve all seen the clothes that have been provided for us. He apparently loves his formalities, but, anything to make him feel more comfortable I suppose. His men will meet us in the front and take us to him, then we try our best not to fuck it up.”

“--Which we won’t.” You soothed your partner. 

Seungmin perked up, “I’m coming too?” 

“How else are we going to look after ya, kid?” Two ruffled up the young man’s hair. 

“W-wait. Didn’t you say that it’s a club? Will they even let me in? I’m not like, 21 yet? I mean, I will be in a couple months--” 

“--Ahhh you’re so cute.” Chan beamed. “If you’re rolling with us that doesn’t matter.” 

Seungmin blushed and played with the condensation of his water glass. “Oh.” 

Your partner shifted in his seat. “Speaking of. Considering that you’re “one of us” now. We need to discuss something important with you. Your identity.” He looked over to you to finish the rest of the speech that had been pushed off for just a bit too long. 

“Your name...is your most valuable asset. It’s the only thing about yourself that you can keep for yourself. No one else should know it besides you...and, well, us. If they know your name, they know your family, they know where you live, where you go to school, even that girl that you had a crush on in the fourth grade. Got it?” 

Seungmin gulped dry with blown out eyes. “I-I think that I understand.” 

“What do you want us to call you from now on?” 

He paused, considering towards the ceiling. ”Well...if you’re B, and he’s F...and he’s J...I could be S? Simple enough right?” 

“S it is then.” 

The waiters arrived with every dessert possible: chocolate cake, Crème Brule, fruit cheesecake garnished with mint, as well as traditional desserts like Om Ali and Mehalabiya--a type of milk pudding dressed with delicate, pink, edible flowers. 

Seungmin--now dubbed S--made happy little eating sounds while he tried a little bit of everything. 

“Thank you.” You finally spoke to the prince, who now smelled strongly of Lotus and Jasmine. 

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind treating my friends.” 

The word hung in the air, and you didn’t quite know what to do with it. 

Friends. 

“Where is this reservation that you mentioned?” 

He took a swing from his crystal glass with finesse. “Hm. That’s for me to know and you to find out.” 

“Jeongin told me that I need to keep an eye on you, you know that? It would be best if we didn’t leave the hotel at all--” 

“--But what would be the fun in that?” The prince nearly pouted. 

From the others side of the table, Two in his aviators brushed off his lap before standing. “I’m going to get some sleep, if that’s alright with you? I’m feeling pretty jetlagged and I want to be prepared for tomorrow. Excuse me.” 

The slender man bowed to you at the table, then even deeper to the prince. 

“What was that about?” Jeongin muttered while he poked at the thin caramel layer of his French dessert. 

“Actually, I think I want to head to bed too, I’m stuffed.” Seungmin rubbed his belly in his contentment. “Also...I think I might have homework due...heh. I don’t know...I’ve got to figure out all these all these time differences and stuff.” He pushed in his chair then gave the prince a deep bow. “Thank you, your Highness.” 

“My pleasure.” Chan said with a tiny bow back. “Rest up, kid.” 

With the empty holes at the table, the silence was deafening. 

“And then there were three.” Jeongin yawned. “Bee? Wanna do some laps in the morning? I saw that they had a pool? Wanna see if you can beat my record...again?” 

“Psh. I was coming off that biochemical cocktail the last time we tired. You had an advantage.” 

“Then you’ll beat me? Hm! I look forward to that.” Your adorable partner flashed the first smile that you’d seen in a couple days. You missed it, you realized. 

“Sleep tight Bee. Goodnight your Highness.” 

“Thank you Fox.” The prince mirrored his warm smile. 

Knives and forks clinked on china in the dining room, and music softly payed the soundtrack of the evening. A low hum filled the space where the tourists and patrons chatted among themselves. It was peaceful and normal amidst everything that had been pricking your skin and plaguing worry over your mind. The prince merely sighed, sparking eyes reflecting the candles dying out on the table. 

“And now it’s just the two of us.” 

“Seems like it.” 

“Can I whisk you away now?” 

“Whisk? Who said that I would allow any whisking?” 

“Come on...Bee. Just this one time? I promise to be on my best behavior.” 

You laughed out incredulously at the comment. “You out of all people can’t promise something like that.” 

“I guess you’re right about that. But...still, I won’t try to make a scene or anything.” 

The royal placed his napkin on the table with his knife and fork respectfully tilted off the edge of his plate. 

“Follow me?” 

Chan held out his hand. It was pink with heat and scraped a little from the glass that had pierced the fragile flesh. In some way, you had felt a twinge of guilt seeing the small injury knowing that you couldn’t have protected him well enough then. You allowed him to lace your fingers with yours, and felt the rough cuts of his scars in your palm. 

You had promised to yourself that he would never know such pain again. 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Annnd...this is it!” 

You had taken all of twenty paces outside of the hotel when Chan gestured with open arms to the riverfront. Just at the riverbank, a steamboat was anchored with open doors for hotel guests to enter. The massive, multideck, white steamboat shone like the moon peaking at the ocean’s horizon. Each of the semi-circle windows were lined with white lights and from the inside, the delightful sound of laugher and live music spilled out to the glossy water of the Nile. 

“W-what is this?” 

“Well…it’s a dinner cruise but I just signed us up for the bar part. Are you...surprised? I thought that it must be pretty safe considering that we’re on the water and no one can drive up and shoot at us.” 

“I mean...it’s a bit closed off, but nothing that I can’t handle.” 

The prince held out his arm for you to lead the way, then took your hand to help you watch your step down the stairs. Chan provided his name to the conductor in elegant sounding Arabic, leaving you shocked. 

“Y-you speak Arabic too?” 

Chan chuckled once more, taking your hand in his to bring you down the creaking wood deck with swinging with lanterns above your heads. 

“As a royal and diplomat, it’s best for me to know how to communicate if I might need to.” 

“I must say your Highness, I am definitely impressed.” 

“What? You thought I was just another pretty face?” The charming prince escorted you to a room within the steamboat that was lined with red velvet carpets and small bar tables with tea candles and water lilies floating in a shallow dish. He pulled out your chair before his own, then settled with hands folded in his lap. “I’m trained in hand-to-hand too, although I could use a refresher; that was so long ago, back when I went to school.” 

“Hand-to-hand? Well! You really are full of surprises.” 

The prince appeared smug and faintly amused by the compliment as he crossed his legs under the table and leaned in with his dizzying floral scent. 

The waitress appeared and Chan flexed his language skills once more while he ordered a Hemmingway Daiquiri for himself and a French 75 for you. Somewhere off in the distance or perhaps a different part of the boat, louder and more excitable music played along with the echoing claps of those who listened along. Here, it was much quieter, and the loud sound was replaced with a jazz song that you had heard before--likely from your more formative years. 

“It’s a beautiful night.” Chan began, “Thank you for agreeing to do this with me. I know that I’ve been a bit forward, but, I appreciate you entertaining me.” 

“If I had said no, what would’ve happened then?” 

“Well, maybe I would’ve dropped it, but...knowing you...I don’t think that I would’ve given up easily.” 

The waitress returned with the drinks on a silver platter: his grapefruit pink and yours the color of a lemon drop. 

The royal rose his glass for you to clink with yours, “To...adventures.” 

“To adventures.” 

With a resounding sound, the glasses met, and you watched the way that the shimmering liquid ripped across the prince’s nose. 

The two of you sat for several moments more, saying nothing, but sipping and soaking in the night breeze and the humidity that made your whole body feel blanketed with a sense of calm. You had felt this way before back at the safe house, and it snuck up on you once more. Simply exisiting with the prince provided you with a sense of solace that had long since faded from your life. The sense of responsibility that you felt for the man was noticeable, but you couldn’t help but notice how he provided for you the same sense of safety that you did for him. 

Perhaps it was the loneliness of the job and the solitude that came along with it. Was that you craved to be touched? Listened to? Admired? You had distanced yourself from irrational things such as love and other feelings of attachment. In your line of work, people died often, and you had to move on just as fast as their lives had been taken from them. You supposed that you had become unfeeling at this point...but this prince, so full of himself and focused on the material...there was something about him that reminded you how to feel. 

“Bee? What are you thinking about?” He asked carefully. 

“Oh...nothing.” 

“You looked kind of lost here.” 

“Was I?” 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah...yeah. I’m fine. Maybe the drink is just...getting to me.” 

“Just one drink?” Chan giggled a bit, “I didn’t take you for being a lightweight Bee. I thought that they gave you like, drinking lessons or something back at that agency of yours.” 

“I’m fine. I shouldn’t have more than one drink anyway.” 

The prince nodded, understanding. “So, what will you tell me about yourself? Is there anything that you’re allowed to tell me? Or...will you always be this mysterious, beautiful, enigma?” 

“Me? Enigmatic? Ha! Hardly.” 

“Well? What then?” The prince sucked at the lime garnishing his glass. “Since I don’t have the pleasure of knowing your real name, I’d love it if you could tell me something.” 

Over the stereo, the muted trumpet played along with the twang of thick upright bass strings,

“I suppose I could tell you how...” Chan leaned in, “I didn’t want to join The Agency. At first.” 

“Oh? Why’s that?” 

“It felt like a bit of a last resort and anything that is a last resort is something that can’t come easy.” 

Chan titled his head as if to say, I’m listening. 

“Life...fucking sucks sometimes. Sometimes...you’re left...living with your sleazy uncle with a letter addressed to you post mortem telling you to carry on the family name if you want to feel some connection to the parents that you never knew.” 

The royal cast his eyes down, “I-I’m so sorry.” 

“The Agency has been everything I’ve known since I was a teenager. This life...it’s everything. I think in a way I feel obligated to it...since it was what took my parents from me...I owe it to them to do a job that they spent so much energy on so that it wasn’t in vain.” 

You stopped, realizing the weight of your words in the air and how they cut like the blade of the knife that you kept tucked in your waistband sheathed in a leather cover. Once the sharp metal was taken from it’s confines, there was nothing to protect those from the damage it could do. 

“Bee...I don’t know what to say besides I’m sorry. That’s terrible. I can’t imagine what it must be like to loose your parents and have been thrown into this life...no one deserves that.” 

“Its okay.” You sighed. “I did it to myself. Now, it’s of no concern. I can take care of my own, and I have a new family. I try not to look back.” 

As he had done numerous times before that night, Chan’s hand reached out for yours under the table, brushing up against the white cloth. 

“I can’t say how much I appreciate you enough for what you do; risking your life for me...I owe you everything Bee.” The prince softened, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. 

The chug of the steamboat hissed softly behind you in that back bar room, and just through the windows, you could see the stars dotting the sky just as they did in any corner of the world. They were a reminder that while some things changed, others didn’t. 

The echo of footsteps on the deck clicked, causing you to turn a careful glance back to the direction of the sound. The man who entered was dressed in a casual cotton button up and navy slacks. On the white of his breast, he wore a pin holding the symbol of a crest.

“Lee Minho?” Chan gasped. 

“Your Highness!” The handsome man bowed immediately with a startled little smile. 

The friendly prince stood immediately upon seeing the other royal to shake his hand. “What a coincidence that we meet again!” 

Lee Minho shied with a polite smile while fiddling with his hair that looked to be masterfully styled. “Must be...fated. Or something like that.” 

“Are you alright? Last I saw you was at the shooting at the gala. I’m so glad to see that you’re safe. You didn’t get injured I hope?” 

This close, Lee Minho had oddly cat-like eyes that were as intense as they were alluring. He was just as you had remembered him to be--put together and polished like a true royal, dastardly handsome with all the right curves to his body, and just enough mystery to him to pique the interest of anyone who had sensed his air--just as the prince had. 

“What are you doing in Cairo?” Chan asked, gesturing for the stranger to pull up a chair. 

Lee Minho swatted away the question with an annoyed cringe. “Royal stuff, you know how it goes. Everyone is always trying to poke their noses in places where they shouldn’t be...unless they’re looking to get themselves killed. That's why they send me. I’m dispensable.” 

“Oh, I’d hardly say that.” 

In seconds the prince’s entire body had shifted towards the direction of the other man, and hung onto each of his words as if they were a siren song. 

“When you’re not as high up in the ranks as you are your Highness, royalty starts to feel more like servitude than a legitimate position.” 

“So, where are you poking your nose?” 

Lee Minho’s eyes nervously flicked to you, and Chan realized that he had skipped right over introductions. 

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce the two of you. Minho, this is Bee, my--” 

“--I’m a member of his detail.” You spoke for him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you formally Lee Minho. I recall seeing you at the gala.” 

Minho bowed slightly, “It’s a pleasure to meet you too.” 

It was obvious that you had made the man uncomfortable, just as you had liked it to be. While you could see what the prince had seen in him, you had the disposition to be much less trusting than his Highness. 

“Which royals are employing you? I’d love to know! It’s always exciting for me to learn about who is plotting what. The royal drama keeps me really entertained.” 

Minho sat up straighter, then waved a hand for the waitress to come scuttling over. 

“Some of my family members. You wouldn’t know them, we’re all dreadfully insignificant to be honest. They heard all this business about those men with the red crests and they’re starting to get scared. After they targeted...you, they’re wondering which royal family might be next...if any. I’m here to find out who they are, their whereabouts, anything else.” 

“Wow! That’s actually what we--”

“--And where are you planning on getting this information if I may ask?” You hushed the prince’s loose lips as quickly as you could. 

Minho leaned in over the flickering candle to lower his tone, “I heard that there’s an informant here in the city who might now something about this group. They’ve been popping up on national news too as of late. I’m looking to talk to him tomorrow evening. Luckily, I was able to make an appointment but it was no small feat. I had to bribe him to high hell to get him to speak with me.” 

“Hm. Sounds familiar.” You mumbled. 

Chan’s eyes widened, then he looked back to you to ask for permission. You gave him a nod.

“It seems like we’re here for a common purpose my friend.” The prince leaned in to bridge the gap between them, his hand notably reaching to rest on the other man’s thigh below the table’s surface. “We’re seeking similar information and I think we might be speaking of the same informant.” 

“But your Highness, isn’t it dangerous it you to do something like this?” 

“Not when I’ve got her around.” Chan threw a sly grin to you across the table. “I’m well protected. And you? Where’s your detail?” 

“I’m afraid that I’m out here alone. Like I said, when you’re as low in the ranks as I am...” 

“What? That’s terrible!! They aren’t even protecting their own? Bee!!” 

“Yes, your Highness?” You already knew where this was going. 

“Let’s bring Minho along with us tomorrow! We know that there’s safety in numbers--” 

“Your Highness, in case you haven’t noticed, our hands are already a bit full...”

“I can fend for myself.” Lee Minho suddenly piped. “Travelling alone, I’ve picked up a few things about protecting myself. You don’t have to protect me, but, I appreciate the offer.” 

“Nonsense! You should come with us! I would feel more comfortable if you did rather than went by yourself.” 

Lee Minho gave the royal a smile in his thanks, it was pure and a little adorable you had considered...but that was likely the champagne going to your head. 

“Really? I appreciate it, your Highness.” 

While you were distanced, you nearly could’ve sworn that the prince had squeezed the other’s leg reassuringly, and you were willing to bet he had rubbed it with his thumb too just as he had done to you. 

After long, the waitress returned with Lee Minho’s drink, and the two men chatted like old college buddies while you slipped away at your drink in an attempt to make it last as long as you could. While Chan did try to engage you in conversation, it would never last for long until he would become puppy-eyed over the stranger again. In the end, you wondered if the tipsy prince would’ve also confessed to this man if he had one too many drinks. 

The table bumped with their jovial and restless legs, and you could only imagine what wandering hands sought to discover. 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The hotel was quiet save for the click of heels on the marble floors from ladies who had just gotten off the steamboat and clung to their husbands in their drunken stupor. They cackled in the empty and golden lobby, then pressed hasty kisses into the stuttering mouths of their husbands who’s mouths then smeared with hot pick lipstick. Chan giggled at the sight while he tripped over his own feet too. 

“Ahhhh. Being in love is so cute.” He adored them once you had entered the elevator. 

“You’re not going to throw up on me, are you?” 

The prince hiccupped, then shook his head. “Unlike you I know how to hold my liquor. I’m fine. Just a bit sleepy I think. Must be the jet lag.” 

The tones for each floor beeped in the compartment, and Chan lulled his head back and forth. 

“So. Lee Minho huh?” You said, not even able to help yourself. The alcohol had brought you a bit of an edge...so you thought. 

“Lee. Minho.” He sighed out dreamily. “What do you think of him?” 

“I think I can’t trust anyone as long as I haven’t ran at least three background checks on them.” 

“Awww, Bee, you’re so thoughtful of me.” 

In the empty hallway, the prince with squinting eyes leaned against the doorframe to the royal suite, reaching out to brush up against your blouse once more. You let him, excusing his drunken state. After he did so, his eyes hazed over with something much different, while he looked exhausted, it was laced with something else: something much more longing. 

“Bee...fuck, I really want to kiss you again.” 

“Hm. That’s ripe coming from you who was just viciously flirting with Lee Minho.” 

You could see his head spinning in his dilated pupils. “What?” 

The door clicked open and you less than gracefully lead the prince through the dark to your shared bedroom. 

“B-Bee, what are you talking about?” 

You scoffed, “I’m not blind, you know.” 

“A-are you...jealous?” 

“W-what? Fuck no. I’m just...you can’t just...toss people around thinking that they’ll all bend to you.” 

Chan sat at the edge of the bed and rubbed at his temples when you turned one of the lamps on. 

“I-I was doing that?” 

You tore a pillow from the bed as well as the throw blanket at the end. “I’m sleeping on the couch. Good evening, your Highness.” 

“Wait! Bee!” The young prince stumbled after you, stubbing his toe against the bedpost in the process. “Ah-FUCK!” He grunted. 

“What?” You growled back to him, half shrouded in the darkness of the suite living room. 

The royal stumbled out, eyes blank and backlit from the bedroom. While you couldn’t see him fully, you later could assume that there was something in him terribly torn and ripped in that moment that made little sense to him, as it did to you to. 

Arms reached out, bodies softly illuminated by the lights of the city, and the prince leaned himself fully into you, pressing bitter tasting lips to yours with a heat and desire that only seemed amplified the breather he had gotten. While he tasted of lime and grapefruits, with a twinge of alcohol. He was just as addictive as any vice. You wanted to feel him. As infuriating as he was, and oblivious, your abhorrence to him was just as strong as your attraction. 

“Mm, Bee--” He moaned directly into your mouth while shuffling both of you back to the bedroom. 

The prince’s trembling breath floated from his mouth to yours where he used both of his large hands to pull your face closer to his. You knew that in some way, there must have been something ingenuine about the whole scenario, but you didn’t care too much, not when kissing him felt like something. Maybe he had kissed you out of pity, or because he really had wanted to kiss you. You broke for seconds before both of your tangled limbs hit the bed. 

“Before...you said that you wouldn’t kiss me.” 

“I didn’t make any promises...but, how come...you said that you wouldn’t hesitate...? But you kissed ba--” 

You silenced the prince’s words with your own heated kisses that made little sense, only that kissing him as such felt good. You straddled the man while his hungry fingers traced all the way down your back. The prince’s hips sunk into the cushiony mattress, and you screwed him down even harder into it with your own heated hips grinding into him with as much pressure as you could muster. 

“This is what you want, right?” You pulled at his lip with your teeth to hear him groan from it. 

“Is it...what you want?” Chan got out between more kisses. 

You could blame it on loneliness or lack of touch all that you wanted, but it wasn’t even close. 

“Wait. Wait.” Chan suddenly interjected. 

“What? What is it?” 

The prince looked up at you, that haze in his eyes now fading to something much different that wasn’t covered in the lust that he held before. 

“Bee...I-I don’t know if I want it to happen this way. It feels...it’s not...” 

“Not what?” 

He brushed his hand upward now to caress your face, lingering on the side of the peach fuzz on your cheek. “You deserve better than whatever the hell this is.” 

“Oh, so when I finally want to fuck you, you’re saying it isn’t right?” 

“I’m saying, I’m drunk, it’s late, clearly there’s something that’s upsetting you, and I want to know what it is before we do anything else. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

It might’ve been Lee fucking Minho, or it might’ve been something else much stickier for you to admit, but seeing the prince like this, it was too much. He was gorgeous under you, practically angelic looking. 

“I-I’m...complicating things.” You whispered out, and the prince softened even further. 

“That’s what it is? Bee, I told that you don’t have to worry about--” 

“--Yes. Yes I do...your Highness. I-I can’t feel...” 

“Bee--let’s just talk about--” 

The prince might’ve said more, but his words faded into murmurs once you closed his door behind you, then crawled onto the couch in Jeongin and Seungmin’s room, locking their door too. 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

[cynergy-laughter]

Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All! Headcanon #14 (Unprovoked)

Content Warning: Fake Bl**d, Graphic images, scary pranks.

So since it’s getting closer and closer to Halloween, I thought it would be fun to see the brother’s reactions if MC was a makeup artist, but not just any make up artist, an expert Halloween makeup artist, creating scary faces, zombie looks, fake blisters and gory effects. And a bit of a prankster~! So here is our Mischevious!MC Makeup effects artist~!

Lucifer: He knows you were into make up, you came to class with a full face done before. But when it got closer to Halloween, he found out what your specialty make up was... you walked into Lucifer’s room, holding your right eye, and said there was something wrong with your eye. Lucifer, being the good Devildom host he is, offered to look at it, and see if you should go to a doctor. Good thing no one else was around, cause when you removed your hand, you revealed you had a plucked out and hanging eyeball! Lucifer would never ever admit he was scared, but his “Oh my God!!” was so loud, he almost fell onto his bed. You couldn’t even hold it in and started wheeze laughing immediately. Lucifer was confused and still in shock, but then realized when he see you take the eye off and revealed your real eye under the latex. Lucifer had half a mind to end you right there, cause how dare you surprise him like that. Although he was impressed that you had that much talent, it looked so real. But don’t ever do that again.

Mammon: He was just minding his own business, counting his bills he had made from selling his brothers possession when he heard a slow knocking at the door. He walked over and opened the door, and slightly jumped when he saw you wearing a zombie mask. He tried to play it cool and yanked the mask up and off your head, only to reveal the same exact details of the mask, except with more realistic blisters and graying decaying flesh, and you growl loudly and lunge at Mammon, whom screamed and fell backward, frantically crab walking backwards fast. You tried walking toward him but then started laughing as you saw Mammon crawling on his back. Mammon growled and started to walk out the room with a blushing face, and a tear around the corner of his eye. You stopped him and hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry...” was said on repeat as he held him close while he tried to get away from you, but then held you back. From then on, you don’t do scare pranks on Mammon, cause you felt so bad. But later, Mammon said he wanted to do a scare prank with you on the others.

Leviathan: You were spying on Levi, watching him play a game from a far. You saw he was playing Hellcraft, the Devildom equivalent of Minecraft, and noticed that games’ creeper was a lot more scarier than the human’s version... you decided to play a prank. You went into the bathroom and began doing your make up, dark violet, black, red pixelated colors, and they blended in pretty well without really blending thanks your make up color mixing skills. And then you put black contacts in your eyes to complete the look. You make it back to his room, and started sneaking up towards him at his computer. You reach out your hand to tease his neck, making the noise you heard creeper’s make. Levi was slightly annoyed at the neck tease, swatting at his neck a bit, but wouldn’t budge at first. But then after you did it a third time, he turned around in his chair with a, “MC, can you please leave my neck al-AAAAAHHHH!” He screamed and jumped back so far his chair fell backward, as you hissed harshly. He legit thought it was the cursed version of the game, where if you cheated, or trolled, an enemy from the game ambushes you from behind. Needless to say you were laughing, and apologizing, Levi was blushing mad and frightened, but he later he was impressed that you even got the red streams coming from the Hellcraft Creeper’s eyes right.

Satan: Satan is not easy to scare, by any means. In fact if you were to scare him, you’d probably be in more danger. Satan seemed like the kind of person who would punch a haunted house actor. He’s intelligent enough to know a prank, especially when he can recognize a Mammon prank. I mean, Satan is the King of pranks. But you realize in order to prank Satan, it would have to take some real skill. And it most especially wouldn’t be easy, because it was Halloween, he knew it was Halloween, everyone knew it was Halloween. You decided to not prank him, but instead show him your make up skills. You knocked on his door and walked in backward, with Satan more confused than ever before. “Just promise you won’t freak out, this is just make up...” You revealed your face, showing that you looked like part of your brain and skull showing in your forehead, as well as some bone showing on your neck. The sound that Satan made was a mix between an exclamation, a scream, and “oh wow” followed by, “how did you do that?” He says this opens up a whole new avenue of prank ideas, and that you truly are an artist.

Asmodeus: You had borrowed a bit of Asmo’s make up to set up this prank. It was a contour palette, and you had set action on your face. Later, you start knocking on the door frantically, hiding your face with a scarf. Asmo opens the door and you walk in fast, “Something went horribly wrong!” You said as you paced around the room, and Asmo asked what was wrong... You claimed, “I think I had a severe allergic reaction to your contour palette I borrowed.” Poor Asmo thought it was something as bad as a rash. Asmo told to show it, and that it couldn’t be that bad... as soon as you revealed the face that looked like it was burned through by acid, Asmo screamed. The cheeks where the contour and shading would looked like they were burned through with acid, and bubbling near where it stopped. The shriek you heard could wake up every banshee. He started apologizing constantly, until you revealed it was a prank. Asmo was half relieved, and half angry about the fact it was a prank. Of course, your make up was just amazing, so realistic... but don’t ever do that again.

Beelzebub: You pranked Beel after pranking Belphie, for which he offered to help. Belphie texted Beel that he had a surprise for him, that it was a special dish that he and you, naming you specifically, made for him. Sweet baby Beel has no idea what was coming. There was a covered dish on the kitchen island, which was covered by a red table cloth, and Belphie offered him the first bite, that MC had put their whole being into this lunch. Beel, absolutely loving your cooking, takes a fork and a knife and lifted the cover off, revealing your golden brown bald head, with grill marks on your cheeks, bubbling blisters on your chin and forehead, and an eyeball popped out and garnished with a toothpick. Beel shrieked and looked at Belphie in horror. “Belphie, what did you do?!” He shouted. “I know, you’re right, I should have left them on the grill a little longer.” Beel looked ready to either breakdown or scream again, but then his stomach growled. “... I... I dont want you to get into trouble, maybe I should get rid of the evidence...” that’s when you stood up from the fake island and reassured him it was a prank, Beel screamed again when you got up, and fell onto his back, meanwhile Belphie fell on his back laughing at what Beel said, and then at his reaction to MC getting up in panic. You decide to never prank Beel again, especially since he couldn’t even face you for the rest of the month, which is when you showered him with full size candy bars begging for forgiveness. Belphie as usual put the blame fully on you.

Belphegor: You had taken a nap with Belphie, and for the first time, you woken up before him and went to go to the bathroom... to do your make up! You decided to do a bit of impersonation makeup with a touch of freaky. You made your face look like Lucifer’s face, but then you added a red snake eye contact into your right eye and a snaggletooth fang to your mouth. You got back into bed with your face, and fell back asleep, with the covers over your head, and cuddling Belphie. You woke up to screaming and being pushed out of the bed by a frightened Belphie. You were surprised, but eventually started laughing as you got up and smiled at Belphie, revealing your red eye and fang, and Belphie threw your pillow at you, blushing and crossing his arms. “That was not funny!” “It was a little funny...” “No it wasn’t!”

[milknette]

day 15 - mythical creatures

how i miss yesterday, and how i’d let it fade away.

tumblr month: @auyeahaugust

links: ao3 | ff.net

THE Agreste Mansion could have been beautiful, if not for the overgrown greenery and rusted fence that decorate the estate's exterior.

It looks like the textbook definition of what a haunted house is.

Marinette should be scared.

Instead, she takes out her cellphone, turns it on, faces the camera, and...

Goes live.

"Hey everyone, Marinette here!" She starts, waving almost awkwardly at the camera. (Thousands of viewers come storming into the live in seconds.) "So… welcome to the Ladybug— crap, I mean, the Ladyblog!"

Noticing that the camera is angled a little too low, she shifts to show herself better.

(Wow, she really is bad at this.)

"As you all know, or maybe you don't, haha… I'm heading the vlog for today!" She tries to smile, but it's clearly panicked. "Alya couldn't come back with me to Paris, unfortunately, and you all really wanted to see us cover the Agreste story so…," she moves along with the camera, trying to show off her surroundings.

(Nobody watching has the heart to tell her they can't see anything because her head's covering half the screen.)

"I'll be heading this adventure myself!" Marinette scratches her head awkwardly, and almost drops her phone as she hears a sudden crack! behind her. "Ohmygod what was that—"

She immediately turns the camera, only to notice a black cat pass behind her.

Its vivid green eyes almost make her shudder.

"Black cat," Marinette mutters to herself. "Sure, like I didn't know this was a terrible idea already.

She remembers a little too late that she's still online.

"I mean! This is going to be fun! Let's do this!"

The chatbox is filled with messages, but they all really say the same thing:

This is going to be a trainwreck.

But I am going to enjoy absolutely every minute of it.

(She pointedly ignores these messages and goes forward.)

Marinette walks towards the estate, using a key to unlock the rusted gate to the Agreste residence.

"If you're all wondering how I got entry to this place," she starts. "One of our subscribers actually helped us out," she turns towards the camera and smiles. "So Chloé Bourgeois, thanks a lot!"

(Yeah, thanks for giving her no choice but to go through with this video.)

"If it weren't for you, this video wouldn't be possible at all."

The gate opens with a resounding creaaaaak and Marinette has to force the unbothered smile on her face.

"Alright, let's go in."

.

.

.

[ INSTAGRAM STORY: maribug ]

"Hi guys! In case you don't know the story of the Agrestes, please swipe up with an article Alya wrote on the story below. As usual, be warned for creepy content!"

The Mysterious Disappearances of the Agreste Family

Almost five years ago, the Agrestes were the so-called 'it family' of Paris, France. Their family consisted of top fashion designer Gabriel, his beautiful wife, Emilie, and their only son, Adrien— a teenage model for his father's brand early on. In the public's eyes, this was a picture-perfect family.

However, this was soon revealed to be a ruse.

In 20XX, Emilie Agreste suddenly passed away. The family refused to comment and held a private funeral. A few weeks later, residents were surprised to find large fences erected around the residence, gating outsiders from entering the home. Father and son withdrew from contact with the outside world, aside from secretary Nathalie Sanceour and Adrien Agreste's unnamed personal bodyguard, nicknamed 'The Gorilla'.

Any media or news shared about the family were quickly taken down. For a long time, any and all information about the death of Emilie Agreste was removed— presumably by the husband himself.

News on the Agrestes stayed quiet for a year, until Adrien was spotted attending a local high school.

This was only for a day. After finding out about Adrien's attempted "escape", he was quickly returned to the premises and brought home.

The school refused to comment when we asked for an interview.

Due to limited information, little is known about what happened next.

The most accepted story, however, is that after Adrien was returned home, the Agrestes completely dropped off the radar. Even Gabriel Agreste was completely unreachable to his company.

Both Nathalie Sancoeur and 'The Gorilla' we're suddenly fired and removed from the premises without warning.

After a year of silence from the family, Sancoeur was finally given a warrant to enter the Agreste Mansion with the police force.

The mansion was empty. In fact, it seemed that nobody had occupied the space in months. A written report states that a cup of coffee Sancoeur remembers making from Mr. Agreste, on the day of her sudden termination, remained to be on his desk.

No sign of forced entry or violence was taken note of. They had just… disappeared.

A nationwide search was held to find the father-son duo, but to no avail. They were not found alive nor dead. The police soon branded this a cold case and filed it away.

Sancoeur was given control over the Agreste brand. 'The Gorilla' was also rehired to be her assistant.

Both declined to comment and continue to avoid topics talking about the Agreste family.

The mansion has been left untouched since then.

Until now.

(Please follow TheLadyblog on Instagram, tomorrow by 8PM vlogger Marinette Dupain-Cheng will visit the abandoned residence!)

.

.

The house is huge.

Marinette enters into a large foyer, run-down from years of neglect and disrepair. The pristine white of the walls have faded into a dull gray, complemented with spiderwebs in almost every corner. She holds her flashlight almost like a weapon.

Then, she switches to the front camera and shows the audience her surroundings.

"As you can see, the house seems untouched from when its previous owners lived here," Marinette begins, holding back the need to shudder. "Chloé messaged me that she ensured nobody else lived or even came in its vicinity," she explains, her tone turning more empathetic. "Apparently she and Adrien used to be friends, and she's still hoping that he'll come back to claim the house someday."

(Personally, Marinette doesn't think that he will— doesn't think he can, really— but decides to keep that little fact to herself.)

She turns the camera back to her.

"So anyway, I was given a floor plan to the building," she continues, raising up a piece of paper and showing it to her viewers. "Since the mansion is huge, and I can't possibly visit all the rooms tonight, tell me where you want to go!"

The comments flood in, and the answer is unanimous:

The previous room of Adrien Agreste.

.

.

Marinette opens the door carefully.

The door squeaking isn't that loud, but it echoes throughout the corridor and makes things so much creepier than they have to be.

She bites her lip, and enters the room— which takes up almost the entire second floor story.

Arcade stations, computers, games, books, and CDs fill up the entire floor. A television screen almost three times bigger than she is lays upon the wall. A basketball half-court decorates one side of the room. There are more doors which likely lead to other things to see, but she decides to check that later on.

"Okay, I don't think I'll do this room justice with a phone camera and a flashlight for lighting, but this is amazing," Marinette raves. "I feel like this is a teenage boy's dream room. Honestly, it's my dream room." She laughs to herself lightly, turning the front camera on. "Though I'd maybe change out the basketball court for my personal sewing space."

(Marinette briefly wonders why anyone would want to leave such a place, but dismisses the thought almost immediately; realizing that none of it could be enjoyed at all if she were alone.)

In fact, standing in the middle of it at that moment made her feel much lonelier than she was previously.

Except, she's not alone.

But Marinette's too busy looking around to notice the increasingly panicked messages of her viewers:

do yall

u all see that right…..

ohmygod is-

IS THAT REAL WTH

MARINETTE OMG

PLEASE TURN AROUND

RUN? DONT LOOK BACK?

PROTECT OUR SWEET SUMMER CHILD

I CANNOT WATCH ANOTHER LIVE WHERE SOMEONE GETS MURDERED PLS

CHECK UR MESSAGES GIRL !

Noticing her phone buzz with messages, she clicks on the tab that opens them.

Marinette's eyebrows wrinkle together.

"What are you guys talking abou—"

A scream, the sound of her phone cracking, and the live video suddenly being turned off.

well, there goes ½ of the ladyblog…

.

.

Alya wakes up to her phone overflowing with messages.

The first one she reads is extremely straightforward:

HELP I THINK MARINETTE'S DEAD

So understandably, she does what any good friend would do.

Think it's a prank set up by Marinette (for making her hold the live without her), get irritated, send her a 'haha nice try mari but dead is a stretch' message, then immediately go back to sleep.

Marinette, however, never gets the message.

.

.

It's easy to panic when death's staring you right in the face.

So she does, because death is quite literally staring right at her.

In the form of a sixteen-year-old boy whose face she knew all too well from all the hidden fashion magazines her teenage self hid under her bed.

Adrien Agreste.

(Well, at least now the question of did-he-live was answered. A stone-cold, dead, nope!)

And also, ghosts really do exist— who knew?

(The so-called paranormal expert didn't, apparently.)

The ghost moves toward her, as she scrambles away, her back suddenly hitting the wall.

"Please, if you're gonna kill me, do it quick," Marinette replies, rushing through the words. "I don't know how angry you ghosts are, but I swear violence isn't the answer. It'll solve nothing and make me dead so let's maybe move away from that—"

Adrien tilts his head, and it almost looks human. (Maybe if his head hadn't done a complete three-sixty at that exact moment, she would've calmed down. Instead, and understandably, she panics more.)

"Hey, hey! Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you."

"You aren't?" She asks, then suddenly horrified (and almost embarrassed), covers her body with her hands. "Don't possess me! Look, I'm a klutz and have literally no coordination. You don't want me! Actually, I can get you better bodies! I have this friend named Alya…"

(Marinette isn't sure why, but she feels extremely irritated with her best friend for some reason.)

The ghost laughs.

And it doesn't echo ohmygod he really is dead and she really is going to die and all this drama for a bunch of views what has she become—

He floats closer to her, and smiles. "I won't possess you either," he replies. "You can keep your body."

"... then, what do you want?"

"Well, I don't really want anything."

"Really?"

He looks almost amused. "I mean, you were the one who broke into my house. I guess I'd like to know why."

Okay, fair.

Marinette looks almost sheepish when she responds, realizing how dumb her reasoning actually is:

"Well, I'm a paranormal vlogger…"

.

.

Marinette has done a lot of strange things in her life.

But this— talking to a ghost about YouTube of all things, is probably the weirdest of all.

(The really terrifying thing about it was how comfortable she actually felt about it.

Talking to Adrien was terribly easy that you couldn't help but let your guard down.)

He looks at her with wide-eyed awe. "That's amazing! And I can't believe I get to be included in your video!"

She smiles lightly. "Well, you are kind of a big deal…"

"I never knew fashion meant that much to so many people!"

(The truth was that they knew Adrien because of his disappearance and the conspiracy around his family, but she decides against mentioning it. Though, it's quite strange to be so cautious of hurting a ghost, of all things.)

"Yeah," Marinette replies instead. "I used to collect your magazines, you know?"

Adrien brightens up. "Dang, you're a fan of me?" He bows down, and his head almost falls over. (She finds herself laughing.) "I'm honored, milady."

"Milady?" She asks teasingly. "What era are you from?"

"Hey—! Technically, we're the same age." He protests, before suddenly quieting down. "I guess I'd be twenty now, huh?"

The mood shifts, and Marinette can't do anything about it.

"... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he only says. "I guess I'm just a little sad that I never really got to experience being a teenager. Y'know, being normal." He laughs to himself. "And even after death, I'm still not. Being stuck here and all."

Quiet.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened…?" Marinette begins, her voice soft. "Not that you have to answer but… it was so sudden when everyone got the news you were gone."

Adrien sighs. "I'm not sure myself," he explains. "My dad… he thought there was some way to bring her back. Bring my mom back to life. And he did things, some dark things, but they didn't work… and before I knew it, he was gone, and I was stuck like this."

He gestures down at himself. "I can't even leave the house, can you believe it? I've just been here and alone for years…" Then, a smile. "Until you came along."

"I'm glad I can be of some company," Marinette replies, smiling back.

(It's strange— so strange, but she feels connected to him in ways she's never felt connected to anyone.)

"I'm glad that the company who showed up was you."

At that, Marinette decides on an idea.

She stands, and gestures for him to follow.

"You're a ghost, so you can't touch things, right?"

"Yeah… but I can move them. I learned a lot of ghost skills while I was stuck here."

She smiles. "Great."

"What do you mean?"

Marinette walks over to the foosball table, groaning from years of neglect, and places her hands on it. "I may not be able to bring you back, but I can let you experience what it feels like to be a teenager." She tilts her head, pointing towards the game.

"Let's play?"

.

.

They play games late at night and into the early hours of the morning.

Marinette has never seen someone enjoy her company that much— like she had given him the whole world, and everything he'd ever wanted.

It makes her heart soar, to see him so happy.

They take a break as the clock tells them it's almost three in the morning.

Marinette settles into the couch, with Adrien lying down as he floats over her.

"I'm sorry you had to play with me," she starts. "Not really great at sports. And I can get pretty intense when it comes to online games."

Adrien only smiles at her, without a hint of irritation or regret. "No, this was perfect. It's the most fun I've had in a long time." He laughs. "Maybe ever. And I'll never forget this, no matter how long I stay like this."

She frowns as the words leave his mouth.

(Wasn't the thing tying him to the real world his failure to experience his life as a teenager?)

Marinette says it aloud.

"If only it were that simple," he responds, almost sad. "But I don't think that was ever the reason."

"Then what is it?"

"..."

"Adrien?"

"..."

"I won't judge it or anything. Please, I want to help."

Adrien sighs, then looms over her, the expression on his face almost breaking her heart. "It's corny, but… I wanted to experience love." He finally says. "After my mom died, I was locked away. I never felt my dad's love, and Nathalie cared for me, but that was it. My mom was the last person who ever loved me. I just wish I could've experienced that feeling one more time."

"...

I loved you."

"What?"

Marinette looks up at him, vulnerable. Her hands curl up into balls as they grab at the couch.

"I don't know if you remember me," she begins shakily. "But I was there that day you went to the high school."

"..."

"It was raining. And it was only for a moment, but you lent me your umbrella because I forgot mine," she laughs to herself. "I'm sure you don't remember me but…"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

"... how did you know that?"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng," he repeats. "I remember that name. I talked to Miss Bustier over the phone then, and she told me you were the first person I should find when I came to class. She told me you'd make me feel right at home. Adrien looks up at her, and smiles. "I guess she was right."

At that, Marinette feels her mouth tilt upward. "Took you a long time to find me, huh?"

"Better late than never, though?"

They share a laugh, before Adrien continues. "I was really looking forward to meeting you," he says. "And somehow, I knew it was you when I gave that umbrella. You just gave that feeling of home Miss Bustier was talking about… and I was so desperate to have you know me that the umbrella was my way of doing so. Even if I never gave my name, I hoped that somehow, in some way, you'd remember me." He smiles. "And you did."

"... I don't know what to say."

"I think I loved you then," Adrien says, almost to himself. "I just didn't know it yet."

They stare at each other for a moment, and Marinette feels her heart break and be whole at the same time.

The sun starts to show itself, peeking through the clouds.

"... I won't see you again anymore, will I?"

Adrien doesn't even have to nod for her to know his answer.

"Maybe I'll take back my, 'I love you', then."

He laughs.

"I don't like having to lose you all over again."

He makes his way to her, then presses a kiss to her forehead.

(She knows that ghosts can't touch her, but the warmth that spreads from his touch isn't anything short of real.)

"Good luck with your YouTube channel."

It's Marinette's turn to laugh.

"Are you sure those are what you want your last words to be?"

Adrien hums.

"I guess you're right," he replies softly. "I'll go with this then:

I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

And as the sun rises, she suddenly finds herself alone.

.

.

Marinette rushes home to use her laptop.

She scrolls through the messages— all assuming she's died, and dials a number she knows by heart.

"Oh thank God you're alive, I was so worried about you!"

"I saw your message, Alya."

"Oh. Haha, well! How was I supposed to believe that an actual ghost showed up on your live?"

"I guess you're right."

"... so, is it true? Was the ghost real? Is the Agreste mansion haunted?"

Marinette pauses.

Then, almost too softly for her to hear, she says it:

"Not anymore."

[wwilloww]

cliff diving TEASER 2 | kth

genre: smut, fluff.

pairings: Taehyung | Reader

rating: 18+. NSFW. Explicit. 

word count: currently 10k and climbing

warnings:  Drawn out build up. Teasing. Oral sex (giving, receiving). unprotected sex (pls dont). Multiple orgasms. Public sex. Creampie. Unrealistic Sex. 

summary: Every year as soon as the weather warms up, your friends haul ass out of the city to the mountains where you camp and hike in the shadow of giant rocks and ancient evergreens—and now apparently jump off of cliffs for fun. This time, an innocent round of truth or dare inspires you and Tae to play a mischievous game without getting caught by your friends.

release date: 6.8.2020

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teaser:

Jin has convinced you all into a classic game of truth or dare, something you haven’t done since college. But with the combination of the height swirling in your body and the fact that it seems your friends have some kind of secret pact to pass along every intimate truth and absurd dare to you--you are feeling oddly tense. They had steadily extracted secrets you had no intention of ever sharing, like all the gory, embarrassing details of your last hookup (the toe guy). Meanwhile the boys seemed to skate by with harmless dares and less-than entertaining truths.

Jin nudges you. “It’s your turn,” he winks.

“Alright,” you let out a shaky breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “Truth.”

Groans rise up from the four boys around you.

“You always pick truth,” Jungkook complains. “You’re so booring.” He draws the last word out, slumping against your shoulder in a dramatic show of his disappointment.

“Okay, okay, fine, dare,” you shoot back.

“Nope! You already picked truth,” a grinning Jimin pipes from across the circle. “So you get a truth.” You groan. By the look in his eyes, he’s going to make this painful for you. Jimin has proven himself to an expert at extracting the most devilish truths.

The question that springs to his lips seems almost preconceived.

“If you were to pick any of us to have a friends with benefits thing wit—, no, wait—”

“To fuck, who would you fuck?” Jin finishes.

“Fwa—?!” you sputter, spitting beer. “What the hell kind of question is that?!”

The four boys around you crack up, Jin slaps his knees as his signature bray echoes off the rocks. Jimin giggles, Jungkook snorts, and Tae—well, Tae is oddly quiet. You wonder if he disapproves of the question.  

To be honest, it’s not as if you had never thought of it before. You had seen the way Jimin’s hips moved when he danced. You’d spent years watching Jungkook grow from a scrappy boy to a strong and kind young man. Jin was always so gentle and hilarious—and undeniably the handsomest of the group. And Tae, well, then there was Tae.

He had started on the outskirts of your small group of college friends as one of Jungkook’s childhood besties and gradually wove his way into your hangouts and your heart. He is funny and smart and passionate, and when he talks about Van Gogh, his eyes sparkle with a rare and beautiful light.

And now his eyes lockon yours, intense and searching.

If Tae is honest, he hasn’t considered it before. He has always found you attractive, that was true, but knowing that you were the closest friend of his closest friends had him pushing away any thought of you in more than a platonic way. Even then, he couldn’t help ruminating on the little things you’d do—tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, or the way you swing your heels over your shoulder after a long night out and skip down the city concrete, or how you’d try to claim objects by licking them. He would find himself grinning from ear to ear at your smallest moments of delight. But that’s normal for friends, right? Especially one as delightful as you.

But now now that the thought is out there, the idea of you with Jin or Jungkook or Jimin—your legs wrapped around their waist as they kiss slowly down your neck, your hands pressed against their cheeks, holding them so tenderly—you with anyone else, really, doing any of that, he hates it.

His eyes narrow with the thought, and you catch it, confused by the sallow expression on his face.

“Tae—?” you blurt out, before you realize what you’re saying. You had meant to simply call his name, not answer with it.

“TAE!” Jungkook hollers. The boys explode into hoots of laughter. “I can’t even imagine that!”

You’re in shock.

“I mean… I mean all of you,” you add, trying to diffuse the situation.

“ALL OF US!” Jungkook screams.

The laughter only escalates.

Your friends are cackling around you and all you can do is crack a weak smile.

“Well, I guess you know where to go when your next hookup falls through,” Jungkook tosses another beer can at Tae.

Tae chuckles.

“Could be worse, eh?” He brings himself out of the mess of emotions swirling within and back to the present moment. To where you’re sitting across from him, beet red and looking wildly disappointed. Are you disappointed with the options for a fwb set in front of you? Are you disappointed in his response?

Still, the slight pout resting on your lips has him wondering how anyone could ever make sulking look cute.

“Well, Taetae, as entertaining as that was, it’s now your turn.” Jin claps his hands, rubbing his palms together the same way he does when he’s getting ready to prepare one of his famous five-course meals. 

“Uh, it’s definitely not m--”

“Truth or dare,” Jin orders. 

“Fine. Dare.”

[monstrosibee]

as a disclaimer this is all personal observation and i dont claim to be an expert, but i wanted to examine rodimus’ design in mtmte and ll because even between artists it changes so drastically. theres a lot that can be said just from how the helm and face shapes differ. not all of the artists are up here, but i used the ones that were personally most relevant and left the biggest impact on me.

so i think having these side by side as some of my personally most memorable rods really highlight the differences between the styles but also what they bring to the table. milne did do a good job introducing rodimus as the protagonist of this particular series in the comics, with a much more mature aura and longer thinner face to sort of emphasize the fact that this is little hot rod all grown up! hes still fun and exciting but now he can captain a ship and lead properly! and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take a character in a different direction, but i personally feel that maybe jumping straight into raw boned and angular wasn’t the exact step that made the most sense for his character in particular, especially since we’re working with a style that is very much brighter and more stylized with what transformers had in phase 1.

obviously, everyone really likes the elasticity and cartoonish appeal that comes with jack lawrences character art in general but i definitely think its nudge backwards towards g1 rodimus’ helm feels really welcome as well. here, not only is his face shape a little squarer and close to a youthful hot rod or g1′s rodimus, it also rounds the top and back of the helm design out again, AND it replaces one of my favorite things that milne removed, his cute little ear phone looking round audials! its a fun balance between milnes porcupine rodimus and a g1 clunky rodimus

cahill didnt get a lot of time on ll or mtmte only because he wasnt a main artist but i LOVE his particular rodimus because it reminds me SO MUCH of g1 hot rod. even though the colors dont quite match (id love to see a magenta mtmte/ll rod one day...) and the helm doesnt cover the corners of his jaw, he draws on the same face lines and almost identical helm design to really make this rodimus look younger. at the same time, i think leaving more of his lower jaw and face exposed really draws out the vulnerability, as well as the youthful vibe that the hot rod version of this character usually has, in order to draw more parallels between Rodimus Prime The Ship Captain and Hot Rod The Hot Headed Autobot Soldier

coller on the other hand, goes with a face that draws much more on g1 rodimus’ face rather than his hot rod one. even though cahill and coller both use those face edges from g1 moreso than milne or lawrence do, coller goes more the g1 rodimus route and uses them to make rodimus look more chunky and square, instead of softer and faceted like cahill. its important to note too, that coller’s rodimus body design is bulkier as well, forgoing the slim hourglass racer figure that milne uses or the top heavy but pretty much ass-less frame that lawrence draws. despite the chunkier look though, he goes back to covering a lot of the lower jawline with the helm spikes, although he still uses the more rounded helm and more obvious audials that lawrence and cahill uses.

i think in the end the design milne with did what it needed to do and it wasnt bad, but i think he would have benefited from nudging it closer to something like lawrences or cahill. we see throughout rodimus’ development as a captain that while he is a mature and battle tested warrior, he still has a lot of insecurity of his hot rod days, and that unlike the g1 cartoon, the matrix didnt carry any implicit personality change. 

[asphaltapostle]

What I have long predicted is now coming to pass: Google believes it should assume control.

Out of all the technology companies that have made my knees knock and my voice hoarse and my [Tweets manic](https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&q="google" %40ficklecrux&src=typd) as a technoheretic in the past several years, Jumbo Google would easily take home the winning trophy for Dystopian of the Millennium. I have been rehearsing an especially dear pet prophecy of mine, unsolicited, to family, friends, and podcast guests since 2011 in which I end up arguing quite convincingly that Google is a dead ringer for the 16th-century Vatican: an inherently self-isolating organization with an absolute monopoly yielding gargantuan levels of essentially passive income from a service which nearly everybody transacts with, but only Google understands (and is therefore assumed to be its only possible provider,) which inevitably develops such a distance from the rest of the populace and their way of life (in tandem with total notoriety and celebrity among them all) not intentionally out of malice, but from the delusion of mythically-bestowed philanthropic duty that is borned of and compounded by this economic and cultural isolation in a perpetual accumulation of power and wealth that radicalizes the monopolizers — the majority already highly predisposed to zeal as they would’ve needed to be in order to find themselves in this singular, universally powerful position over every other class — and leaves their egocentric minds to wander exempt from all criticism save for that of fellow radicalized monopolizers, who together begin to feel more and more comfortable wondering aloud about themselves in increasingly fantastic presumptions: what if all of this was bestowed upon us because we are superior to them? What if it is our divine responsibility as superior beings to take charge and shepherd the common people as our sheep — for they cannot possibly know as well as we what is truly best for them?

You see it, right? And you can feel a very specific flavor of terror that is both awed by the scale of the circumstances created by so few human minds and sincerely amused by the absoluteness of your own inability to alter them in any way. Perhaps you even recognize this taste as one perfected by Christianity’s ancient advertising business, but Google knows so much about you that it’s rumored to’ve been selling user data to the Judeochristian God for some time now at a 10% discount, and so we extrapolate and anticipate, yes?

Of course, it’s admittedly satisfying for me to deliver you to this godfearing place in the most perverse look what I saw first that you didn’t see because you’re just not as bright but lucky for you, I’m so fucking generous with my wisdom sort of thinking around which the entire personas and livelihoods of fringe movement fanatics are built upon, but this is my one thing, okay? I’ve been waiting years for the right time to formally argue this theory in depth, and — thanks to this year’s public spotlight finally pivoting on the giants who’ve been silently swallowing their competition and relentlessly forcing their already ridiculous margins higher and higher in relative obscurity for decades, the time has come, indeed. The common people’s trust in Google had a godawful week.

Don’t Be Evil

On Monday, Gizmodo reported that twelve frustrated Google employees were quitting the company in protest of their work assisting the Department of Defense to “implement machine learning to classify images gathered by drones” for the detail fleeting Project Maven, despite some 4000 employee signatures on a letter addressed to CEO Sundar Pichai requesting (in full) that he “cancel this project immediately,” and “draft, publicize, and enforce a clear policy stating that neither Google nor its contractors will ever build warfare technology,” citing the infamous “Don’t Be Evil” motto, which Google then proceeded to remove from its code of conduct for the first time in 18 years the day after the New York Times article went to press, on April 5th.

On initial approach to the abstract of this story, from the ass to our thoughts arrives an easy narrative of a Silicon Valley mutiny comprised of twelve brave, conscientious souls who’ve been eaten up inside by their complicity in the filthy deals made by their power-obsessed CEO over scotch and cigars in a dark D.C. study — kept awake for months by the sound of his puffing cackles at satellite images of dead toddlers in a bombed-out street.

Ah ha, we say. That man is no good, and he just wouldn’t listen! They knew they didn’t have a choice… They only did what they had to do…

The reality of internal disagreements at Google, though, manages to be even more theatrical. The sheer volume of correspondence must surely be beyond anything capable of the enduser’s imagination, so let’s phone a friend: my favorite peek into the day-to-days of inter-Google existence is an old blog post by Benjamin Tilly on his first month at the company in which he was compelled almost immediately to describe in great detail how best to “deal with a lot of email in gmail” at peak efficiency using shortcuts and labels. “As you get email, you need to be aggressive about deciding what you need to see, versus what is context specific.”

Now we have a bit better idea of the aggressive emailing that was a sure constant on a normal workday at Google in 2010, so it must’ve been deafening after 8 years of Gmail development as 4000 employees no doubt vented, debated, and decided to organize last month, though without making much headway because the leadership’s response was apparently “complicated by the fact that Google claims it is only providing open-source software to Project Maven,” this new knowledge having significant effect on our mind’s image of Sundar Pichai’s activities in Washington: he is now swapping seats with a frustrated Colin Powell in order to install OpenOffice onto his desktop from a flash drive, and we recall that Google’s Googleplex headquarters resembles nowhere in modern life more than a brand new playground built in a design language borrowing heavily from Spy Kids. And though these Twelve disciples are unnamed for the moment, a few of them could immediately land book deals by going public, and every single one would always have by default not only the badge of “I landed a job at Google,” (which is really to say I have hit Life’s maximum level cap,) but “I worked at Google for a while, but ended up quitting to do something else,” which is guaranteed to make you the most interesting, intellectually superior person present in whatever crowd for the rest of your life. The ultra-cool Sarah Cooper quit Google to become a comedian and even got to talk to Kara Swisher! I won’t pretend to understand big tech’s diminutive bastardization of prestige, but “more than 90 academics” jumping to publish an open letter (adjacent to a huge DONATE: Support the Campaign to Stop Killer Robots button) in which they “write in solidarity with the 3100+ Google employees” who’s terrible boss decided to help some lackeys in the Pentagon set up their email and didn’t text back for a whole hour doesn’t sound 100% sincere. Notably, I don’t know how or why the fuck 90 people would go about collaborating on a single document, but if it really was managed, they definitely used Google Docs… At one point, it was fun to think about the history of the friendly side-scroller-playing garage ghouls and dorm dorks who gave cooky, wacko names to their dot com startups in parody and defiance of the lame-ass surname anagrams on the buildings of their established competitors, but those who’ve stuck around have only done so by becoming expert at SUCKING UP EVERYTHING around them, and it pisses me off every day how worried I am that my species will finally be done in by a company with a name like Yahoo! and be known only to a bunch of adolescent interdimensional silicon blobs 30 million years in the future as that bipedal race who remained dignified until the last 0.01% of their reign on Earth, when in way less than a single generation, they all just went FUCKING INSANE and blew themselves up because they suddenly hated all sense.

“Google” is perhaps the worst of these to have to shout in fear and/or anger in your last moments as it sounds in American English like you’ve startled your subject with a ticklish pinch followed so immediately by an esophagus-busting chokehold that the two events appear simultaneous, and in real English English, it almost always sounds like a parent speaking of a character on a pre-K children’s television programme whom they find quite foul and upsetting, but will manage to refrain from expressing so otherwise because they know that Teletubbies shit is the most quickly forgotten stage of television viewership. It’s fascinating how exclusive the word “Google” is to American English because in everything else it really is complete nonsense, but lets halt all etymological discussions right now because we’ve only now just finished with Monday.

The Soul Ledger

On Thursday, all of my Google experiences, suppositions, and soul-detaching screenshots were usurped when a thoroughly alarming internal company video called The Selfish Ledger was leaked to The Verge, which I watched once then and do not want to watch again for the sake of this piece, but I will. Though the big V has been disappointingly timid for years about editorializing — when tech journalism desperately needs some confident, informed opinion more than ever — Vlad Savov’s accompanying article should be read in its entirety, to which I can add my own terror where he perhaps could not. The production style is technically identical to that of the very popular thinkpiece-esque, motion-graphics-paired-with-obligatory-sharpie illustrated videos which you find playing at max volume on your mom’s iPad from where she’s fallen asleep on the couch at 9PM, but the repeating stock string soundtrack multiplies one’s discomfort as such that we would all end up in the fetal position without remembering the transition were it not for the appearance of trusty old Dank Jenkins, who’s face I thankfully associate heavily enough with his infamous down-and-out Tweet to be a welcome respite in attention before the very scary hypothesis for which it’s been buttering me up, as best summed by Vlad:

> The system would be able to “plug gaps in its knowledge and refine its model of human behavior” — not just your particular behavior or mine, but that of the entire human species. “By thinking of user data as multigenerational,” explains Foster, “it becomes possible for emerging users to benefit from the preceding generation’s behaviors and decisions.” Foster imagines mining the database of human behavior for patterns, “sequencing” it like the human genome, and making “increasingly accurate predictions about decisions and future behaviors.”

The next time the what if they do something scary question comes up in a casual conversation about Google, you’ll have something a lot more substantial than just speculation. Or will you? The Verge reached out for comment and got an awfully convenient response.

> This is a thought-experiment by the Design team from years ago that uses a technique known as ‘speculative design’ to explore uncomfortable ideas and concepts in order to provoke discussion and debate.

Wow! Leave it up to grand ole Googe to reveal the ultimate excuse for just about any suggestion or behavior, though it does seem almost deliberately uncomfortable, doesn’t it? No matter — whether or not this video was ever about a project or tangible product development, or simply to explore uncomfortable ideas because it is proof that the company has reached that critical Vatican stage — if you’ll remember — where they now feel comfortable exploring Very Bad, but Very easily made Real Ideas amongst themselves about what would happen if they allowed their system to nudge its users around a different, slightly less optimal route to the bar, let’s say — without their knowledge — in order for the system to collect traffic data for the sake of its own interests? Which would be, technically, in the interest of all Ledger users now and in the future, so why not?

> The ledger could be given a focus, shifting it from a system which not only tracks our behavior, but offers direction towards a desired result.”

This, my dear privacy-obsessed friends, is the real issue with data collection — its power over huge groups by way of their behavior and it is never going to be remedied in any significant way by ad-blockers or VPNs because the EndUser shall always out number you 50 to 1, even decades from now. EndUser does not understand — or, crucially, have any desire to understand anything technical about what leads to the PewDiePie videos playing on his filthy screen. Here’s a great opportunity to escape Silicon Valley’s technolibertarianism and resign your Darwinian empathy in favor of meaningful and truly-effective action: if you want to avoid a future Google Church (or Google Government, more worryingly,) you should invest your time, effort, and knowledge into electing officials more capable of understanding and regulating Big Tech.

Google Government

The internet as it stands is made possible by Google as the goto resource for online advertising. In 2016, “Google held 75.8 percent of the search ad market, bringing in $24.6 billion in revenue from search ads,” according to Recode. By 2019, “that’s expected to grow to $36.62 billion in revenue, or 80.2 percent of the market.” Google’s edge in user behavior and targeted advertising combined with their extensive resources available developers to integrate independent platforms with Google’s software services at various levels makes it very difficult for any advertising-funded individual or organization to compete online without dipping in to the Google universe. YouTube — a Google property since 2006 — has actively invested in and supported a new career path entirely within their own platform that is rapidly becoming popularly aspired-to by young children, while the reality of existence as a full-time YouTuber is far less glamorous than the immediately-visible surface would indicate, and the effort already expended by my generation in its pursuit has already made us insane.

So, what would the internet look like if Google didn’t exist? We know they’ve been working with the government now on various projects, but what if some terrible exposed transgression of theirs suddenly warranted an immediate shutdown and seizure of all Google properties? Well, we know from a post on Quora by Googler Ashish Kedia that even 5 years ago, the sudden absence of Google for “2–3 mins” set the internet into a bit of a panic, reducing overall traffic by 40%. In the time since, we’ve all grown exponentially more dependent on Google properties: billions of people rely on Google Maps for directions and, thousands of companies (including the Pentagon and other government institutions) rely on Gmail and GSuites for intercommunication, file sharing, task management, etc., and more and more academic institutions rely on Chromebook devices running connection-dependent operating systems. It’s not much of a stretch to argue that Google’s sudden disappearance would constitute a Civil Emergency in the United States, which will only become a stronger and more serious incentive for regulatory bodies to look the other way.

Though the tangible results of advertising have been quantified significantly in the past 20 years, one can’t help but wonder after watching YouTube ads for the new Mercedes-Benz S-Class on toy unboxing videos if the companies who spend big bucks on Google advertising understand where their money is going, but they know that if they don’t advertise there, their competitors will. This, of course, is a fundamental practice of a monopoly, and it’s yielded Google so much fucking money that they cannot possibly spend it fast enough, as evidenced by their investments in life extension — so that, perhaps, they will have more time on Earth to figure it out.

When you build a collection of the world’s smartest people in a self-sufficient environment that discourages exploration of other lifestyles and ideas, and you sustain the society with a gargantuan, relatively low-maintenance revenue stream, you create a culture which is not only well-primed for isolationism, but is also extremely inefficient. In fact, with its vast collection of abandoned products and properties, Google must surely be one of the most inefficient companies in history. Thinking back on recent software releases along with its recent entries into the hardware space, Google is also one of the worst competing tech companies. Very little aside from Gmail, Google Photos, Google Maps, and Chrome have found their place or garnered significant usership. Google Play Music is unintuitive and impossible, Google Allo and Google+ are all but forgotten addendums to other services, and Google Search — its core, original function — has been out of control for years, and all of them are designed blandly and excruciatingly tiring to look at.

Google Shun

If this all has stirred nothing more in you than a desire to eliminate Google from your own online life as much as possible, there are alternatives in almost every one of the sphere’s they dominate. As of late, DuckDuckGo has accumulated a fair amount of buzz and coverage as a private, more relevant alternative to Google’s plain old search engine. Though it is clever enough to list us as the first result for “extratone,” I’ve found it simply insufficient as a replacement in my own life because, essentially, it rarely delivers what I’m looking for. By contrast, Dropbox Paper is such an elegant cloud notetaking and word processing software that it makes Google Docs look simply idiotic (and warrants its own review very shortly.) For getting around, know that MapQuest is not only still around — it’s now a very competitive mobile navigation app.

I, myself, have allowed Google as complete of access to my information and behavior as possible because I believe “privacy” is a completely futile endeavor if one wishes to be a part of society, though I do often use alternatives to Google services simply because I fucking hate the way they look. If you want a more complete list of services and software that allow one to shun the Google God entirely, you’ll be forced to seek out less dignified sources like Lifehacker and Reddit and decide if the additional time you’ll spend using most of them to accomplish the same tasks is really worth your digital angst.

If Google were to be more explicit with its users and staff about its aspirations to take over control of our lives, there will be little to do but accept the future they intend to create because they’ve long been too powerful to control. In the meantime, I’d suggest you continue to use whatever software works best for you and refrain from wasting your time fretting on conspiratorial suppositions of what the tech industry may be doing to “invade your privacy,” because there is no longer any such thing, nor will there be ever again. However, I would also urge to you worship your own Gods, whomever they may be, for Google will never be worthy. I, for one, shall only pray to our Mother Sun.

#social #google #future #web #privacy

original post

[insectyr-moved]

Hey again!!! it is genuinely fun to hear you talk about Airachnid (I love her as well, but there are so few others who do as well???). Last few questions: what are your most favorite and least favorite aspects of her design??? What made you want to rp her??? Why did she side with the cons, and how did she learn of em??? As Decepticon leader who does she respect more (assuming she has any for them in general???), Starscream or Megatron???

YEAH  GFDJKGLFJ  dont  worry  i’ve  noticed  how  many  people  that  are  out  there  that  …..  despise  her  for  the  same  reasons  they  love  other  tfp  characters  and  it’s  ugly  so  i  won’t  get  into  it  BUT  IM  always  so  glad  to  meet  other  ppl  who  love  her  as  much  as  i  do !! 

001 .   DESIGN .

okay  i  ……  really  love  a  lot  about  airachnid’s  design .  her  frame  shape  in  itself  could  have  been  a  little  different  from  arcee’s  but  i’m  not  complaining  because  models  are  expensive  and  i’m  almost  completely  sure  that  tfp’s  budget  went  entirely  into  the  bots  and  making  them  look  good .  i  LOVE  her  colour  scheme ,  even  though  i’m  pretty  sure  it  was  nicked  from  blackarachnia ,  i  still think  it’s  gorgeous  and  really  fitting  regarding  her  personality .  if  black ,  royal  purples  and  gold  details  don’t  say  " evil  queen “ ,  idk  WHAT  does .  i  also  really  love  all  her  sharp  edges  -  most  of  which  she  even  carries  into  idw  which  is  mmmmm delicious .  above  all  i  REALLY  love  how  her  eyes  are  such  a  bright  contrast  against  the  rest  of  her   -   it’s  a  real  focal  point  and  it’s  lovely .

002 .   INTEREST .

i  ….  funnily  enough  always  loved  airachnid .  about  a  year  ago ,  i  rekindled  with  my  interest  in  transformers ,  restarting  with  tfa  and  tfp ,  and  i  completely  fell  in  love  with  her  all  over  again .  granted  i  hadn’t  watched  transformers  prime  since  i  was  about  14 ,  i’d  always  had  a  real  softspot  for  female  villains  cause  that’s  just  the  kind  of  dumbass  lesbian  i  am  ….  but  outside  of  that ,  i  really  think  she’s  a  pretty  diverse  character  when  it  comes  with  interaction ?  as  well  as  one  that’s  got  a  fair  amount  of  power  in  her  own  mind ,  and  those  are  always  the  kind  of  mentalities  that  i’m  interested  in  dissecting .

003 .   DECEPTICONS  +  DISCOVERY .

eukaris  wasn’t  involved  in  the  war ,   they  were  content  living  away  from  it  all  and  colonising  eukaris  under  the  protection  chela ,  but  airachnid  was  exiled  from  her  colony  &  her  planet .  her  colony  were  a  religious  group  of  arachnid  called  fateweavers ,  claimed  to  be  prophets  of  the  prime  as  well  as  preaching  his  messages  of  unity .   AIRACHNID  DISAGREED .  she  was  a  blacksheep  who  never  had  anybody’s  best  interest  at  heart  -  excluding  her  own .  she  was  selfless ,  caused  conflict  between  clans  by  killing  &  anatomizing  innocent  eukarians  for  the  sake  of  improving  her own  prophetic  predictions ,  and  went  as  far  as  calling  the  primes’  prophesies  short - sighted .  as  a  result ,  she  was  exiled .

with  the  biggest  war  of  the  universe  going  on ,  there  was  no  chance  of  her  NOT  learning  about  the  decepticons  from  indistict  radio  chatter ,  from  people  during  her  short - lived  travels  of  making  endsmeet  through  her  mnemosurgery .  and  it  was  no  secret  that  there  was  a  prophetic  face  now  off  the  face  of  eukaris .  she  avoided  attention  as  much  as  she  could ,  and  it  was  off - planet  that  she  applied  to  join  the  decepticon  cause  on  the  backline  -  as  a  stringpuller  &  brainwasher ,  gathering  information  with  every  brainmodule  she  were  bought  to  pull  apart .  so  she  climbed  ranks  pretty  quickly  -  was  eventually  even  given  the  label  of  a  torture  expert  and  moved  onto  physical  torture ,  as  well  as  mental .

004 .   MEGATRON  VS .  STARSCREAM .

SUPER  interesting  question  !   the  answer  is  none .  as  equally  as  it  is  both .  it’s  not  that  airachnid  disagrees  with  either  of  their  rule-ling ,  she  just  wishes  it  were  HER  with  said  power .  she  respects  megatron  because  he  had  a  real  claim  to  his  position  -  though  she  respects  starscream  for  his  more  political  input .  megatron  fought  for  his  power ,  and  there  was  a  constant  push  and  climb  and  he  grew  to  have  an  army  behind  him ,  as  well  as  loyal  right - hands .  starscream ,  on  the  other  hand ,  was  clever  and  managed  to  leech  of  some  segments  of  megatron’s  affirm ,  which  she  also  respects  because  she’s  a  snake  herself .  both  are  clever ,  both  are  dangerous  and  manipulative ,  and  both  know  exactly  what  they  want  as  a  result  of  their  work ,  and  that’s  what  airachnid  respects  the  most .  SO  IT’S  EQUAL .  but  if  she  had  to  pick  a  side ,  it’d  be  the  winning  one  …  so  megatron .

but  out  of  her  personal  experience  with  the  two ,  she’d  DEFINITELY  pick  megatron  over  starscream  anyday .  megatron  may  be  powercrazy ,  but  he's  got  an  army  behind  him .  and  didn’t  try  to  betray  her  15  times  over.   but  that  were  if  she  had  to  pick  either .  she’s  always  on  her  own  team .

[curly-q-reviews]

VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL

Below Her Mouth, 2016 (dir. April Mullen)

WARNING SPOILERS AND LOTS OF SEX TALK AHEAD TREAD WITH CAUTION

HEY Y’ALL we interrupt the regular programming for a special feature!!  i always like to do a lil valentines day special viewing for the sake of being festive and for once ive actually gotten some dating action in my life so i was in the mood to watch some sweet romance and then review it for ur reading pleasure (emphasis on the PLEASURE ehugeguehgehgeugeghe) (assassinate me now i deserve it)

to preface this, i am VERY gay.  well uuhhh bi but a very GAY bi u know??  basically i curse my attraction to men every waking moment of my life.  ive known about this since my last few years of college and am out to basically everyone whos important, and a lot of my friends are lgbtq+ so u know its official and everything.  i dont really claim to be a Gay Expert  cause i actually am still lacking a lot of uuhhh physical experience if u catch my drift HOWEVER like a true scholar i have done my fair share of research.  which mainly includes watching really shitty lesbian movies and mocking them (and every so often watching a rare Good Lesbian Movie and crying A LOT). 

if u are of sapphic inclination as well then u probably already know the kind of reputation lesbian romance movies have overall, the prime examples of which would be movies like Room in Rome and Loving Annabelle.  these movies all seem to have one thing in common, and its that the directors and writers have no goddamn clue about how to write a convincing and authentic lesbian romance.  u also always get the sense that the male gaze is the one being prioritized cause theres always PLENTY of gratuitous sex and the romance part itself is uuhhhh never really developed well or thoroughly enough at all.  these movies are usually about a straight girl who discovers her affinity for the feminine when she meets a total stranger and suddenly cant stop thinking about how much she wants to bang her.  and then in-between all the banging they somehow find the time to fall madly in love with each other but the straight girl just CANT cause shes STRAIGHT or she has a FIANCE or her PARENTS wouldnt approve or whatever the fuck the conflict of the day is and either it ends with them never seeing each other again or with the straight girl coming to terms with her not-straightness and ***follow her heart*** or whatever

really the only lesbian movies i can recall actually enjoying would be Pariah (PLEASE check this movie out its so heart-wrenching and beautiful and its like a majority-black cast!!!) and Blue Is the Warmest Color (this one i loved at first but the more i reflect on it the more problems i find with it, ESPECIALLY with how much sex is in it).  and then The L Word is a stellar tv series up until like the last few seasons which are trash but otherwise it was a great watch for me, especially while i was still figuring things out.  i feel like there are more that ive seen that were pretty good but i cant think of them at the moment WHOOPS LOL

so with Below Her Mouth i was apprehensive but hopeful going in, although i had heard rumors that it was Real Bad.  and u know i shouldve listened to those rumors and not bothered with this movie cause WOW its bad!!!  script is TRASH, acting is TRASH WITH FEBREEZE SPRAYED ON IT, and it looks like an artsy pretentious film student shot it.  natalie krill had maybe one good acting moment in the whole 90-minute run time and erika linder is really really hot and those are the only two good things i can think to say about this

fuck ok uuhhh i guess ill talk about the main characters cause OH WOW theyre basically two walking talking cliches.  jasmine (yes her name is jasmine that totally doesnt sound like the name of a character in a porn at all) is our Token Straight Girl who has a fiance and is a fashion editor.  she first sees our other romantic lead while working on the roof of a house next door to hers.  shes ur typical Lesbian Romance Movie Butch, too cool for school and unable to commit to anyone ever and is kind of an asshole but somehow this is supposed to endear u to her.  oh and guess what her name is.  just guess.  ill give u a few minutes.

DALLAS ITS FUCKING DALLAS HOOWEE WHAT A SHOCKER

the first thing we see of dallas, and this is also the first fuckin shot of the movie, is her uuhhh scissoring her girlfriend???  humping her?????  i really dont know what shes trying to accomplish but shes clearly not having any fun while doing it and her girlfriends like “i love u” and shes like “im moving out bye” and thats it

real compelling i know

so jasmine and her bff manage to stumble upon the lesbian bar in town (which dallas calls a girl party???  why??????) where dallas meets her and proceeds to be completely and utterly creepy in ways ive only ever seen men be which is the first indicator that the person who made this movie, april mullen, is maybe not gay at all (or maybe she is and just has horrible taste?? idk man).  but somehow the creepiness is a real turn on for ol’ jazzy and they start making out IMMEDIATELY but then jasmines like “i have a fiance gotta go!!!!” and yeets herself out of the situation

but of course this is a lesbian romance so u know they meet up again and proceed to have like half an hours worth of steamy gratuitous porn-style sex.  there was a lot of strap-on action involved and a lot of bizarre scissoring that i dont even think i can call scissoring cause it was more like they were just weirdly bumping their vagoos against each other and somehow that was getting them both off.  like sometimes the sex scenes in this movie bordered on tommy wiseau levels of weird. 

oh and of course the fiance finds out about this secret love affair but WOW do they really do this in the most dramatic and unintentionally hilarious way possible.  he literally comes home early from his business trip and walks in on dallas going to town on jasmine with a strap on in the bath tub, like theyre ferociously going at it.  i swear to god i felt like i was watching a comedy at times with this movie

piggybacking off of that, jesus christ this script is bad.  ooooohhhh its so bad.  dallas is given the cringiest tough guy lines, like shes drinking beers with a friend and the friend is like “oh man i gotta catch up to u” and, hilariously, dallas is like “you cant catch up cause nO oNe WiLl EvEr CaTcH mE” and i almost choked on my own saliva.  oh god wait heres another zinger, so when she first meets jasmine shes like “do u come to girl parties often (again why the everloving FUCK is she calling it a girl party????)” and jasmines like “i don’t come at all” and the next thing to come out of dallas’s suave sexy mouth is “TeRriBLe NeWs CaN i ChAnGe ThAt FoR yOu” OH my GOD

and good god shes so creepy.  like some of the shit she pulls is borderline sexual assault.  her and jasmine are just at a bar chillin and dallas reaches down and im like “oh ok shes gonna like put her hand on her knee classic move” but NOPE OH NO she just makes a beeline STRAIGHT for jasmines crotch IN THE MIDDLE OF A BAR!!!  THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!!  OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at one point after another round of passionate lovemaking dallas brings jasmine back to her house and theyre in dallas’s truck and they just??  slap each other???  for no reason?????  except for True Love i guess????????????

jesus.  just.  this was an experience.  i would say dont bother watching it but i did at least have fun making fun of it so if thats ur sort of thing knock ur socks off, its on netflix.  but wow this basically fits the stereotype of a lesbian romance movie PERFECTLY, and when u really break it down its just a fancy porn.  i wouldnt even say its a porn geared towards actual wlw cause theres so many elements about the sex scenes that reminded me of the kind of lesbian porn thats made for straight men to jack off to.  0/10 BAD BYE

well shit ok i hope u all had a great valentines day!!  im gonna go start a roofing business in the hopes that i end up working on a roof of a house thats right next to a really hot straight girl with a fiance so i can try to finger-bang her in the middle of an occupied bar wish me luck!!!!!

[lenticomplerm1971-blog]

I work with human stem cells on a daily basis. There an insane amount of research, and yet we still can use human stem cells in successful treatments. All those clinics you see, totally bogus. I must have gone overboard some time, I think this was when the chests were giving out moon dragon eggs and was mining stone like crazy. I'm bipolar and I used to spend a lot on makeup to fill whatever void I had and it just left me broke and more sad. Thankfully I learned to not do that and instead focus only on things I need or truly want (and don't have yet, ie I'm buying Kabrow because I just got into brow pomades and I love my sample a lot).. So, I graded but did not return their tests. I entered grades and sent an email to them saying BE SURE TO BRING ALL OF YOUR NOTES FROM THE LAST CHAPTER TO CLASS TOMORROW. The next day I had printed more copies of the same test, handed it out to them in groups and said "Let try this again, it open note, and 시흥출장샵 you can work in groups. Whose voice is that?!" I thought, That strange. She knows Scarlett Johannson is in this movie. After this goes on intermittently every time the AI speaks, it occurs to me: These people have no idea what the movie is about. Fun fact about California: if you dont file, they assume the worst possible position and assess on that. We were owed a small refund, and I wasnt fussed about claiming it asap since we were moving, changing jobs, etc. Than I forgot about it, and lo and behold: ca suddenly decided that in single and came after me for what I would have owed if I was suddenly divorced. I used the YesTo Tomatoes mask on my acne prone 16 year old son and it really cleared up his skin. I bought the cleaner of the same line (I think it has charcoal in it however, I currently way too comfortable in my bed to go and look. But it has a very gentle exfoliate in it and it black). Sorry if this is going a bit off topic but I was nervous to start my own thread. The BGs I have typically always watched usually don feature ABH eye palettes. I recognize these aren new palettes I just expanded the channels I watch and they are convincing me to experiment with some new colors. Here are features on more than 100 muscle cars, including photos and specifications for each model. Muscle cars created their own culture. To learn about it, read How Muscle Cars Work. I tried explaining this to multiple doctors before, but they said it was impossible to feel that way. As I said before though, I was just curious as to what 시흥출장샵 the difference in symptoms were. I still believe my symptoms are more endo related, but I appreciate all of you that responded.. Hello, this is the case for my mom. I once told her that because the roads are so bad, I almost got in a car accident because some wiener brake didn work. She looks at me like deer in headlights with the look that said" Well, you are still alive so it must not be that bad." I was 18 then. This concept was proposed as controversial a few years back on a TV special interviewing several spa owners and two specialists in the medical establishment. The spa owners shared their beauty and therapeutic approaches alluding to the skin throwing off toxins and absorbing their nutrient rich creams. The doctor experts stated the skin does not absorb nutrients.

[barelylivinblog]

We Went to Canada to See A Lot of Water

After driving through what seemed an endless route to the north pole, my boyfriend and I were crossing Lake Erie and heading across the border into Canada towards Niagara Falls. 

Traveling there wasn’t as bad as I’m letting it off to be, but being in a car for six hours definitely put a toll on my childlike soul. I spent almost an hour of the ride harassing my boyfriend by wearing his sunglasses and being ridiculous, which I now realize was a lot funnier in person than written out. 

If there’s anything I can tell you about taking a road trip, it’s very simple: Pack Snacks. 

Had my boyfriend’s mother not supplied us with a sandwich bag crammed with two breakfast bars, a nutty butty, and two bags of popcorn, I would have perished. We made the mistake not to stop when we saw food, and when I say food, I mean the shady gas stations along side the highway to nowhere. This was the best option because after so far along when we were actually hungry there was NO WHERE to eat until we got into Buffalo. At that point it made no sense to travel into buffalo when we could just wait until we got into Canada. 

Starving, we hurried along to our hotel and then quickly settled to eat at the Apple Bee’s right down the street from our hotel. Had we not been so hungry, I’m sure we wouldn’t have settled for the most American option. However, as my boyfriend said, it was easier knowing we were going to a place where we knew we would enjoy the food.

BUT.

To my horror upon looking at the menu: Canada’s Apple Bee’s DOES NOT SERVE BONELESS WINGS. I am an expert when it comes to American Apple Bee’s because if there was one close to my house I would eat there every day. The menu at the Canadian one was, to my surprise, much smaller. They didn’t even offer two for $25. 

Another thing I picked up on quickly was how expensive everything was. Even with the conversion I ended up spending double my anticipated amount just from eating and sightseeing. The only free part of the trip was seeing the Falls themselves. My boyfriend even had to pay to park his car for the weekend. 

Anyways, after paying what seemed like a million dollars for a meal at the facade that they called Apple Bee’s, we headed down to the Falls for the first time in the dark. In order to get there you had to walk down this steep hill (which continuously killed me when we hiked back up it) and walk under this bridge that still had been decorated for Christmas. The whole city was still decorated for Christmas which was nice considering our trip was a “Christmas” trip. 

Once you got so far down the hill there was a picture view of what I believed to be the only Falls. You see, there are two waterfalls in this area: The American side and the Canadian side. In my head the two falls were facing their claimed countries, but it turns out they were both facing the Canadian side. 

So I was staring at the American side, lit up by colorful lights, and thinking that this was the big sight to see. To be honest, I hadn’t even realized what I was looking at until my boyfriend said that the Falls were straight ahead. They, especially in the night, looked like projections of water. It was unreal. 

And then I saw the Canadian side, or the Horseshoe Falls. Which, again, looked like a large projections. My eyes could almost not adjust to what I was seeing because it was so unbelievable. 

After the magic of the falls and being showered in positive ions, my boyfriend and I headed back to our hotel. Below is a list of things we discovered about our hotel:

1. You cannot use bath bombs in the hotel tub or else they will charge you $350.00

2. Channel 4 is the fireplace channel

3. The vending machines only take dollar coins, HOWEVER, the dollar coins they have set out for you are a three dollar charge. 

4. The pillows were garbage. 

5. Hotel IHop was delicious but I paid 13.00 dollars for a meal I get at Denny’s for 4 dollars. 

6. The curtains that would make sense to be able to move DO NOT move.

7. The elevator will smell like weed.

8. The hotel gift shops snacks are very pricey. We lucked out after I spotted a general store directly across from our hotel and got snacks for a little bit cheaper. It was a good business, still selling stuff obnoxiously priced but not as pricey as the hotel. 

Our second day we went behind the waterfalls, and climbed over to Clifton Hill in search for something to do. We ended up at a glow in the dark indoor mini-golf course. It was a good way to waste some time and I think was worth the admission price. I was worried it was going to be crowded but everyone was good about waiting their turn which made it a cool experience.

That night, however, my boyfriend took me to the casino.The casino was really dazzling to the eye, but once you looked past the fancy decor and colorful flooring, it was scary how hypnotized some people were. I watched people who looked like their lives had been sucked out of them from hitting a button and betting away a lot more money than one should to a computerized slot machine. I had never been to a casino because in America I’m not old enough, but here all I had to do was show two forms of I.D. and I was stamped and sent on my way.

I ended up not gambling because it was a weird concept to me, but my boyfriend did. He was laughing and carrying on and all the older people were giving us dirty looks. It was fun to watch him, but now I fear he’s hooked (not really, I just like to give him a hard time).

The best part of the casino was the buffet. It was beautiful inside, the food was all very good, and it was one of the cheaper meals we had. We ended up eating there twice because of this, so I strongly recommend that if you are in a touristy area where food is expensive, look for that casino buffet. 

On Sunday, we explored a wax museum. It was the worst idea I’ve ever had. Like, I’m ashamed to admit that I was the one that suggested it. The museum was about the size of a house, but laid out in a way that made it seem larger. In order to appear this way, each room was sectioned off by doors rather than archways. At one point I felt overwhelmingly claustrophobic because we were in a small room with about five different figures. The figures themselves looked to be completely real or like creepy dolls -- there was no in-between. I thought this uneasy feeling of being scared that one of them was going to come to life was just me and my overactive imagination, but once leaving I found out that my boyfriend was also pretty spooked about the whole experience.

So to calm down we went and sampled beers. The servers never carded us or looked at us strangely, which made me uneasy as well but also reassured that I wasn’t being illegal. My boyfriend and I argued for which beer was best, but to be honest I don’t really care for beer at all. 

Speaking of servers and overall employees, they will never be paid enough to deal with rude tourists. I watched numerous encounters where tourists were being unreasonably rude to staff members and if there’s any advice I can give you about traveling: be nice to the workers and they will usually give you a nice experience. It’s the famous “treat others the way you would like to be treated.”

When Monday morning came, we headed back to the States and I took a well needed nap while my boyfriend played Smash Brothers to make up for his lost gaming time.

Overall, Niagara Falls was beautiful. I assumed that because of winter there wouldn’t be as many people, but it was pretty crowded over the weekend. However, we never ate a bad meal or experienced anything negative (other than the spooky wax museum but we have erased that from our memory). My only regret is that we didn’t explore as much as we should have. It was very easy to do things that we were familiar with instead of taking risks. My prime example of this was the Apple Bee’s, and although the buffet was amazing, next time I would enjoy to explore what Canada’s menu has to offer, food and experience wise. The most exploring we did was nearby, and we typically stayed close to what was familiar to us. The farthest we went was to a Hershey Chocolate World only to discover that it didn’t have the Hershey Factory Tour ride that our beloved Hershey Park has. In the long run however, we did a substantial amount of walking around and had a very relaxing trip.

To summarize: pack snacks, have a lot of spending money, and enjoy the view because it was the best part. 

[fabiogarciareis]

Root Concerns For Small Business Opportunities At Home - Some Fundamental To Consider

How do you really feel with regards to a Home Based Business Opportunities?

Home Business Tips That Will Improve Your Profits

With the growing powers and capabilities of the internet and smart phones, businesses are less and less needing to be centered in an office setting. Many businesses now are operated from home. This can be advantageous in so many ways. This article will offer some tips about being a home businesses operator.

A key tip for those planning to launch a home business is to carefully research any and all legal and insurance requirements that may apply to the specific type of enterprise being contemplated. By doing so, it will be possible to avoid unnecessary future business disruptions resulting from disputes with regulatory authorities.

Join Internet forums that are related to your niche. You can network with professionals of a like mind, but you can also use these groups as another way to market and promote yourself. You could score the contract of a lifetime simply through doing this. In order for your home based business to be successful, you must allocate space and create a dedicated work space within your home. By doing this, you will be able to focus on your tasks and taking care of business. You will be able to mentally shift from home to work once you enter that space.

At the end of each day, set your goals for the next work day. It is up to you to build a consistent work system that will propel your home business forward. By simply setting up your goals the day before, you are allowing yourself to jump right into work immediately in the morning, which is often the time that you are freshest.

As you begin your home business, make sure that you believe in the product or company that you are supporting. It is very difficult to try and sell a product that you would not want to own yourself. Similarly, if you do not believe in a company's message or business practices, you will not work as hard for them.

Be professional in advance. Get everything you need to show that you are a professional business person in advance, This includes business cards, a business phone and business email address. Make sure that all the pertinent information is printed on your business card, and when you hand one out, try to take the name of the person that you have handed it to.

It is a good idea to meet with a business lawyer before you incorporate your home business. Laws regarding home business vary from state to state. Getting an expert legal opinion will ensure that you comply with your local laws and avoid any potential difficulties with your state government. If you are good with crafts, you can start a home business by selling the things that you make. Not only will you make extra money, but you will be having fun in the meantime. Many people like to give unique, handmade items as gifts, which means this can be a good market for you to target.

If you have a home business, you want to make sure you claim a matching domain name right away. Getting your domain name registered as soon as you can helps to ensure that you will get it before someone else does. This is important to make sure your customers find you, and not a different business when they do a search for you online.

Be forthright and pragmatic with the prospects and goals you have for your home-based business. Do you offer a great product that people will always be interested in? Do you have what it takes to run an honest business?

Needing the cash is certainly a great reason to attempt to start a home business, but it's far from the only reason. Regardless of your particular reasons, however, the important thing is that you work to apply accurate information and proven tactics so that you can be successful. Use what you've learned here to help you get there.

    A Year Into the Pandemic, Don't Fall Behind by Failing to to assess work from home risks

The COVID-19 pandemic ushered in a new way of working.

As companies shut offices and other workplaces under stay at home orders, employees have had to work from home or remotely.

The benefits of telecommuting are obvious: Businesses can reduce overheads such as rent and electric bills, while staff can work efficiently from home and achieve a better work-life balance. Yet, as the pandemic has played out, a host of previously overlooked risks have emerged, primarily worker health and wellbeing.

As staff continue to work from home out of full sight of their employer, so the chances of them developing a serious physical or mental condition have increased. These range from common musculoskeletal disorders such as neck and back pain, carpal tunnel or eye-strain to more complex mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

This has been exacerbated by the fact that many companies had no formal procedures in place initially for remote working and ensuring their employees had the right equipment to do their job from home. On top of that are the added stressors of uncertainty about job security, relationships, homeschooling and caring for a family member at home.

“Many employees are just grinning and bearing it, because they want to hold on to their jobs and keep the working from home perk,” said Dennis Tierney, national director of workers’ compensation claims at Marsh.

“That means we’re not seeing much reporting of injuries as a result.”

And because employers can’t be physically present in a worker’s home, it’s harder for them to disprove allegations. It’s only a matter of time before they are inundated with a wave of lawsuits.

“Poor ergonomics in a home office may not result in physical ailments until there has been significant exposure,” said Daniel Kitzes, an associate at Fox Rothschild.

https://riskandinsurance.com/a-year-into-the-pandemic-dont-fall-behind-by-failing-to-assess-work-from-home-risks/

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