#i dont answer a lot of these anymore
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you saw chewybutterfly put their infant sleeper RECOLOUR behind a paywall until march 29. like BOMBASTIC SIDE EEYYYEEE 👀
These examples would be shady even if this weirdo didn't attempt to doxx a patron months ago. Anyone still doing collabs with them should be ashamed. Bottom of the barrel creator that should've stayed gone imo.
#asks#anonymous#ceci speaks#the patreon issue#negative#chewybutterfly#i dont answer a lot of these anymore#but im getting multiple asks with even more dumb shit so here we are lol#laziness aside tho dont support doxxers guys and be careful
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u know what would be a cool genshin fic idea? isekai/transmigrated reader, but instead of appearing within the general timeline, you come into the genshin world 500 years prior to the start of the storyline in khaenri'ah.
honestly it could be either a little before the cataclysm, giving enough time to delve into some relationship building + explore some world building with characters like dainsleif, traveller's sibling (which would probably be lumine bc i actually do like her as abyss sibling & aether as traveller), and npcs like halfdan (still crying over him to this day ;w;) and possibly the khaenri'ahn royal guards (assuming you either join them or have a good enough relationship with them), OR it could be you appear during the crisis, completely and utterly lost as to why you were brought amidst the chaos and bloodshed as you watch everything you barely knew about this nation crumble before your very eyes.
either route will still result in reader's existential crises and constant "why am i here? just to suffer?" monologues because really, who would be fine after going through that after coming from /our/ world? and not to mention you've had to endure the next 500 years wandering with no real set path because you don't know this world— this era of teyvat or of genshin. you're merely stuck, unable to die, and forced to live a life of uncertainty with no clear direction for you to go to.
despite it all, you've at least been able to see dain during this course. while your meetings pass far too quickly for your lonesome, and his solemn demeanour is something you're yet to be accustomed to after having been with him before the fall of khaenri'ah (assuming it's the route where you appear before the cataclysm), you're glad to see a familiar face every now and then. after the messy departure with the lumine who left for the abyss order, you've come to appreciate his quiet presence more and more each time.
and then you decide it might be time to settle. you soon realise it's difficult to do so when your lifespan has become far more than that of a human's — of a mortal's — and so you find yourself becoming used to staying in one place for a few years before setting off for the next. rinse and repeat. over and over. it's come to a point where you've witnessed the nations undergo various changes each time you visit. you know change is inevitable, and yet your heart stings each time you witness it; a testament to how the world is ever-changing, yet you're stuck in place as a bystander.
one thing you're grateful for, however, are the bonds you've established amid your back-and-forth over the centuries. from archons like zhongli and venti to long-life beings such as neuvillette and the adepti to regular mortals who have showed you kindness as if one of their own... you've grown to cherish those memories, often reminiscing them when the nights get too long and surroundings too quiet. it was difficult at first, and still is, but you've become used to the inevitable change and the passing of those you once knew.
and after 500 years, you find yourself face-to-face with one you haven't seen since before you appeared in this world; the protagonist of this world, and the one you eventually join in hopes of finally finding a means to an end, aether.
little side notes/extras:
from /our/ world, you would probably know the storyline from up to around current (5.0) or maybe a little after the fontaine aq conclusion. it gives a lot to work with, but you definitely won't remember a lot of the lore after so long other than some main events, especially since most of your knowledge is pretty irrelevant for the next 500 years,,,
i think it would be cool if you had an inteyvat on your person as a little homage of khaenri'ah, which may or may not invoke some opinions from certain characters (*cough* aether immediately being reminded of lumine and having an existential crisis *cough*)
post-cataclysm you would go through a, uhm, long phase of helplessness, wondering why you were even brought to this world so far back if you couldn't even make any contributions. it does eventually morph into a resolution to do what you can to help those you come across if it's within your capabilities, but the nightmares and helplessness come back every now and then as a reminder for what you can't do :D yippee :D
honestly i'm on the fence whether you would have a vision or some other type of abilities (think on the similar lines of aether/lumine's and dain's), but i think having some type of purification mechanic would be a must in your arsenal !! would definitely lead to some moments between you and characters like dain or zhongli who suffer from the erosion as you give them a slight reprieve from what rages within and corrodes them
a little self indulgent, but i'd like to think your first /proper/ meeting with zhongli happens during a lantern rite festival, wherein you're admiring the lanterns in the sky after making a wish of your own and he comes up from behind with "they're beautiful, wouldn't you say so?" and !!
also as for love interests, as much as i would love for human/mortal characters, a part of me feels like this story would be better suited for the immortal/long-life characters as love interests?? idk i feel like considering that 500 years is, well, a long time, the bonds you would have with them compared to characters like, say, alhaitham or diluc would be way too different ?? though i would definitely still add them as love interest bc i am a sucker for so many of the human characters ;w; it would also add to the angst and hurt/comfort ahahha...
anyway thank you for reading this massive brain dump of a fic bc i absolutely would put this as a long term project, and if u made it this far then i would like to say that dain solos—
#sophie talks : concepts <3#dont mind me i am just in HEAVY brainrot over this genshin x reader concept bc OURGH??? THE POSSIBILITIES??? THE LORE??? THE RELATIONSHIPS?#also exploring dynamics with the immortals/those with longer lifespans like zhongli; the adepti; neuvillette; the archons in general; DAIN#and lumine; and maybe fatui... hehe.... AND AETHER TOO#omg imagine pierro trying to convince u to join him in the fatui after having finally tracked u down after the cataclysm bc of ur frequent#changes from nation to nation only for u to turn him down saying u dont wish for further damnation. he leaves u alone and u think he wont#pester u anymore until u see him years later again and again and again; him with the same question and u with the same answer#BUT ALSO KHAENRI'AH WORLD BUILDING/EXPLORATION BUT ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE WRITING A MEDIEVAL ROYAL AU RAAHHH#sir royal guard captain!dain interactions... the royal guards... adopted royal!lumine interactions bc ur just like her from another world#and tells u stories of her and aether & u grow closer and u travel with them before dain joins u both before the inevitable break up and#OMG WAIT MADAME PING DYNAMIC WHEN U BECOME FRIENDS WITH THE ADEPTI AND SHE JUST OFFERS U TEA AND A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON BC SHE KNOWS U SO WE#AND OHHHRHJFHJHGJF#cries. this fic would be a lot of emotional hurt/comfort and self acceptance for new life and reader will need a big fat long hug#anyway i will write this. one day. hopefully.
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Emotions are high and the vibes could not be better today!
"Pretty awesome. Lot of emotions. Feels pretty hefty but like, fuck we're Stanley Cup Champions!"
When asked who the Cup is for? No hesitation, the fans.
"They sponsor us. It's for them. It's for them. Like they deserve it, they've been waiting for it, like it's for them."
how do you endear yourself to the fans? i think chugging a brewski while they chant your name will do it! and also complimenting them that too oh what a darling
CBS News Miami | 6.25.24 (x)
#niko mikkola#florida panthers#at this point im gonna need a seperate tag called “mikksys drunk adventures”#i dont think this man has been sober since the eve of yesterday#HIS VOICE IS SO HOARSE FROM ALL THE SCREAMING AND DRINKING#him saying fuck on cbs news miami is so iconic of him YES KING#also he mightve said “hefty” or “heavy” as in referring to the weight of the cup but both work so like pick your own answer#NIKO NIKO NIKO#have you heard anything more beautiful#“fuck we're stanley cup champions” THATS ACTUALLY MORE BEAUTIFUL#ALSO “its for them [the fans]” 😭😭😭#MIKKSY I JUST STOPPED CRYING DONT MAKE ME START UP AGAIN#first year here and he knows how to work some heartstrings WHILE DRUNK#is it funnier hes more coherent in english whilst drunk versus sober#aka his inhibitions are gone and hes not carefully measuring his words anymore and by god its beautiful#he has a tendency to trail off a lot in eng and end with yeah despite the fact he wants to say a lot more#YEAH MIKKSY YEAHHHH#hes such a hazard to himself hes WATERBOARDING HIMSELF COME ON MAN#tags running long i just love ma wifeeee
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Just wondering ,, when will you draw more of your toxic ragapom ? Or is it something you don't plan on continuing ?
I don't plan on continuing! I suppose that if there's popular demand I could cave in and draw more of it, but generally speaking, I don't have future plans for it!
#to be fair it was just supposed to be this one time thing lol#but people back then seemed to like it A LOT#so yeah#nowadays i dont get any asks about it#so i dont draw it anymore#anyway#miga answers
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i got a couple of asks asking about specific things in camp entre, but uhh...the situation concerning some of the characters in your asks is shaky. at best. so i'm gonna answer them here and hopefully you guys find them
merry early xmas anon:
not sure what you mean by time mark of second season because i dont think any of us kept track of time in-universe and id have to go over entre's blog again to even give you a guesstimate soo uhh i dont know! sorry
that guy was there to add conflict back to camp given that arc was about smoothing over past conflicts with established members of the camp
i dont have a list of their birthdays. i can only tell you for sure rn that Entre's is May 1st
there was a storyboard made for prisma's death but i dont remember where to find it nowadays. the story goes something like ted wandered off like usual into some building, prisma finds him while the rest are looking, they get surrounded, prisma gets him out of there then...i think it was a gas station? idk thre was a lot of flammable things around so prisma set fire to all of it, including the horde, sacrificing prisma in the process as well <- definitely misremembering details but yea
nom nom anon:
he ate him because he's a cannibal and he was hungry idk
#anonymous#asks#camp entre#sorry if these are kinda useless#i dont have a like set of documents with all the facts written down on them#and so many tumblr links have been broken or accounts deactivated that also makes things hard#also i just dont remember a lot so when you ask abt prisma (whose mod wants nothing to do with that chara anymore and would prefer prisma#fade to obscurity)#or characters whose mods i just dont talk to i dont have many answers that i dont already know#because i refuse to make shit up or try and guess because that'd be dishonest
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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i really like yarrow yarn 0: i read some of his backstory through his previous tags, out of curiosity, has it stayed the same? is there any other info you can give on him?
Yarrow Yarn moved to Inkwell Isles in an attempt to carve a niche for himself, and give the Isles a professional tailor when they didn't have one.
However, the Isles didn't exactly need a tailor. There aren't many places on Inkwell that require strict black tie attire, aside from the Theater and like. Maaaaybe the Clip Joint? So finding work was unexpectedly difficult.
He sold his soul to the Devil (really, actually, to King Dice) in return for constant and steady work. He provides suit and dress for all the workers in the casino, and is now renowned as the best tailor on Inkwell, possibly in all the world. King Dice tends to overwhelm him with work, but Yarrow has never disappointed.
He still has a bit of a hot temper which was the root cause of his first divorce, but he's learned to control it, especially after adopting his daughter, Val. Raising her was probably the biggest challenge he's ever faced, but he doesn't regret it in the slightest.
He forbids Val from ever going over those train tracks to the casino, and she knows better than to give her father something so serious to worry about.
He resents Cuphead and Mugman after they completely wrecked his shop and repo'd his contract under the pretense of returning it to the Devil, and even after burning said contract and letting Yarrow off scot-free, Yarrow holds some hurt feelings about the entire thing. He refuses to serve them in his shop, and he still works for the casino despite having no written obligation to.
#Cuphead#Cuphead: DDWTD#Cuphead oc#CDDWTD#CDDWTD oc#CDDWTD Yarrow Yarn#fizzles answers#anon#anonymous#its mostly the same but ive written out the idea that his uncontrollable temper led him to being abusive#i think. i want yarrow to be more cartoony with his anger#and i love him a lot and i dont want that for his story anymore
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the antis have officially lost the plot i just saw an entire comment section being pissy at literally everyone that cosplays jimmy mouthwashing. they keep calling him an actual literal rapist and when someone says he isn't real they're like "he's still a rapist!!" like no i think he is polygons.
honestly what else is new? also obligatory "jimmy probably didnt even rape anya" for posterity; hes likely not even a rapist in canon so these people are effectively making up problems to get mad at people about
#scary crane answer#dental hygiene videogame tag#proship#proshippers please interact#anti anti#anti-anti#antis dni#i dont really have much to say about antis engaging in communal cult activity anymore#its really just old hat for me; very unsurprising and boring#anyways. i should start a yimpy tag. because i talk an awful lot about him now LOL#not complaining; hes my first ever platonic f/o so im kinda overdue to add a yimpy tag
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Yesterday I was replaying Deltarune and I was going really insane about it picking up on things I missed on my first playthrough and something that fucked me up hard was this line here
The little ellipsis at the end, almost like you can hear the regret on their voice. Voice of an ad who is realizing maybe they fucked up on this one. But it also made me think of... The possibility of this being a reaction to Spamton's actions.
Because I don't think this was an automatic thing, I feel like their drifting off was gradual. Sure, their jealousy had won them over (I'd have killed the guy or myself if I was them so I don't even blame them) but Spamton was too getting busier and busier the more famous he got, and as they say, that never stopped. He only kept getting bigger, until it all came crashing down. And when it did it was one of them who tried to go find him, after all that.
But I digress, let's focus on the original quote from my favorite sigma enby themselves, Pink Addison. There's obviously not only the regret to it, but feeling like they were abandoned too. Both parties lost a lot and the real tragedy is just how easily it could've have been avoided! Or rather, how beyond their control it was...
But I'll get off topic if I keep speaking so I'll leave it at that. The sheer tragedy that there is to everyone involved just makes me insane. Like I said in a post previous to this; you cannot trace down a good guy or a bad guy in this tale, it's just desperate people taking awful decisions and living to regret their actions.
#luly talks#makes you wonder too like#THIS IS GOING ON THE TAGS BC IM JUMPING THE GUN TOO HARD#but after Pink says rhat they follw by saying ''even so he only got more and more successful'' and its making me FEEL something alright#that EVEN SO. like. were they expecting for him to... stop? to slow down? to give up his overwhelming fame to get them back?#there's so many things i just can't say because we know very little of the addisons and big shot era spamton#we dont even know if they were aware this is how he ended. we dont even know if Spamton tried to go back to them or if he totally refused to#it makes me sick it makes me insane i want to grab these colorful things and squish then on my palm#there's a lot of What Ifs but i think the answer wouldn't even matter because nothing could change anymore#its sososososososoooooo sad#like i see fandom woobify Spamton a lot and i HATE that sure he went thru a lot but he's a grown ass desperate man#he's not a poor uwu cinnamon roll he's insane and he's an asshole and he's a nuanced tragic character#and so are these motherfuckers!!!!!!#btw i originally had a paragraph about how mad I'd have been if i was an Addison but i ended up rewriting the whole post LMAO#anyway. yeah. it just makes me insane.#deltarune#Spamton#addisons
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….Ah, Pleafy. There you are. I’ve been wondering about your lab here. Specifically… [they gesture to a large tube behind her] what or who the FUCK is that?
someone in our lab use she/her pronouns? aside from you obviously but youre refering to you with they/them pronouns. unless youre mindcontroling me to make me gesture behind you
#LOL SETTING THIS ASK FREE FROM MY INBOX MORE THAN A YEAR LATER#i drafted a lot of response to this ask but never know how to answer it so RIP im sorry morks#the she/her pronouns im guess is because this ask is a year old when i still have “she” in my pronouns collection#which i dont anymore#i have freed my she/her pronouns into the wild#goodbye sweet child i gave no shit about you /jj#you dont know how tempted i am to just stick a hs image into this btw and the only reason i dont is because i dont wanna dig-#-through the entire thing to find the page with the image i want#anyways yeah yippie be free apr 23 rp ask
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i love the combative way yaz asks questions after s12. i dont think she does it so much in s12 but from halloween apocalypse on (im thinking of "so you know them, these sea devils?" or "yeah, what does quantum extraction mean?" rn but im sure there are more) her questions always feel half challenge half like shes already gearing up for a fight
#combined with graham's 'shes still not explaining anything then?' in potd or like half of halloween apocalypse itself#('questions? no? see you later' & 'i feel like some of this might be my fault' & 'yeah we got away!' &#'i dont always tell you anything' & 'since ryan and graham left' etc etc)#you get a really clear picture of their duo trips#big finishhhhhhhhhhh let me write their duo adventureeessssssssssss#and ive said this before but i'll say it again bc ive been writing them so im thinking abt them but ithink 14 would be super sensitive to i#like takes a lot of care to not brush yaz off even in distraction or smth else fairly innocent#bc i think 13 in the end was purposefully avoiding answering questions#like if she answers this innocuous question then maybe yaz will ask another and another and then shes gonna feel empowered to#ask the Difficult Ones#so i think she just tried to avoid questions in general#and so 14 trying to make up for it (and for how unable yaz is left to tolerate any of the doctors unanswered questions anymore too)#just answers Everything. Promptly#yaz would of course figure out that she can use this for evil bc she can interrupt any conversation the doctor is having with anyone by jus#going 'what are we having for dinner' or smth#and she 100% Would use it for evil if the doctor is having conversations she doesnt like
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ok. im curious.
#speculation nation#reblog if u wanna help me get answers etc etc but you dont have to#i am just. curious.#personally i used to have nosebleeds a LOT. when i was 17 i got them so much. but i don't anymore#but every so often. they return. and im like Whoah. nose blood.
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Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.
Idk anymore
I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.
Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.
and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.
again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.
but also like kill ur idols lol
#muertoresponds#like yea its fun having people u follow and look up to man#does it take a lot of time to be following celebrities#there would be days i would just check up on all my micro celebrities#now i just dont give a fuck#theyre people im people we're people#we're all gonna change and do bad and do good#i dont like holding myself or anyone anymore to these fucked up online standards of looking like good people#idc idc idc#this was def not the answer u prolly wanted but its where im at and thats what i gotta say#have ur micro celebrities if u want but like yea#people r people#and so are u#critiques r valid but u cant hold anyone accountable unless they consent to be held accountable#like being held accountable means u choose to be part of the accountability process#not make a lil 5 min notes app apology and be forgotten about in a week because people find their next target#yadda yadda yadda#these r my thoughts
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something distinctly sad & frustrating internally about watching someone go through something chronically awful & similar on the face of it to your own horrors & wanting to reach out and talk to them about it to offer support & knowing that by nature of the similarity that is almost definitely the last thing they want/need & so you have to sort of watch from afar and psychically beam your words at them and hope it clicks soon
#the paradox of never wanting to be a burden. of becoming someone that doesnt annoy anyone#is that you feel guilt for talking about the pain with others#and so. you falsely but understandably think isolation will be the perfect solution#''if i isolate then im suffering but if no one hears about it no one cares and no one is bothered so i win''#is a fundamentally cruel take. is the thing. and it is so hard to accept that because of the guilt and the feeling that there is no winning#but the thing is when you isolate and suffer people are now both worried about you and feel discarded. feel hopeless. etc.#and i dont think you should do everything for others. and i think when you are making choices for others it is worth being#realistic about what you are deciding for them and knowing when it is irrational#bc the thing is people do care and that does feel uncomfortable#and you do feel guilty for people being ''bothered'' by your suffering#and i understand the instinct to say no! the point of me isolating is so you dont feel bad about me! stop caring!#thinking this is the righteous thing to say to someone when really it is just something that hurts to hear#i'm still learning it too. i'm not perfect at it. i'm chronically suicidal and always going back and forth with myself about all the horrors#two things:#1) guilt is not absolute as an indicator of rightness. learn to recognize when it is lying to you.#2) the best way to unburden yourself to others is to not kill yourself. to find hope or curiousity or whatever will keep you alive and#grab it fiercely with both hands. to start to be kind to yourself when it's hard and to at least recognize the goodness of others#instead of cruelly dismissing them. i don't think therapy is the only answer or even the best answer. i think too much is too expensive#to suggest anything that isnt something you can do on your own#and it is fucking hard and feels impossible and you'll have a lot of bad moments with it but like. i know you can get to a place where#you're not cured but you're not cruel anymore. and it gets easier from there#ugh none of this will ever get to that guy but i just really wish him the best and ill respect his wishes and not think abt it anymore#but just for the record that does hurt bc i care about people and it sucks when im not allowed to but thats his perogative and#he is his own person and i just really hope things look up for him soon bc hes cool and has nice art
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I have to ask have you ever read a crossover between Bungou no stray dogs and BNHA? The abilities would eat and your fic of Izuku with the monster gives me a vibe is all km saying
I don't really read bnha fics anymore, thanks for the rec tho!
#mp answers#i dont have a whole lot of interest in the fandom anymore besides my own fic turning in my mind constantly
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i fear i cannot mentally or emotionally handle being conscious much longer so im gonna take a melatonin and hope to god it works enough to make me pass out by 8:30 tbh
#i. have gone through the full spectrum of human emotions today methinks (not including joy or happiness or any of the like.. naturally)#i am so exhausted and feeling deeply deeply fucking hopeless#ive spent so much of my life feeling miserable and hopeless but holy fucking shit none of that even remotely came close to the amount#of sheer hopelessness and despair that im feeling today#gneuinely. at a loss for ways to make myself or anyone else feel better#like. well at least we're alive! bitch i dont think i want to be anymore. and furthermore for a LOT of people NOT FOR MUCH LONGER probably#at least we have friends/family/community! yes and that means i have that many more people to be absolutely terrified for on top of myself#we've been through this once we can do it again! I WANT MY LIFE TO BE ABOUT MORE THAN JUST GETTING THROUGH#JESUS CHRIST LIKE#by the time the next election comes i will be 27#meaning i will have spent the majority of my teens AND 20s fearing this stupid fucking man and his stupid fucking morally bankrupt follower#im so sick#im so tired#i have to stay alive but for what??? for climate change to make everything exponentially worse in the next 10-15 years??#for society and humanity as we know it to AT the very LEAST begin to collapse in front of my very eyes??#anyway.#like... i just...#thank god i have ppl in my life rn who care about me bc they are essentially singlehandedly keeping me alive at this point#at the end of all of it even though i can do this song and dance all day and be like "whats the point of living? why shouldnt i k myself#and the answer is that the people i love would be sad. the people i love love me too and they would never be the same.#and especially with how much a lot of them have done for me. i owe it to them to at least Try to give myself the best shot i can#us politics#election 2024#kamala harris#2024 election#uspol
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