#i dont ...feel the need to look for a partner not really

[the-sslimmest-shady]

This is something I would've related to really really hard a few months ago. Here's what I have to say about it:

Time is weird for me, for multiple reasons. I ain't gonna list em here, it'd be too long and convoluted, but yall probably know what I'm talking about. You're super depressed, no executive function, you're just trying to make it to friday, etc, you usually end up losing track of time. After a few days of just being absolutely out of it, i decide to redecorate my phone screen cuz i wanted to add a widget of my crush (now partner!) to my home screen and replace my old phone background (it was based around my ex, so that makes sense) and when I added the iamsober widget, I saw that I accidentally got a sober streak of like 15 days(!) and thought "hey, that's actually really good! I feel like i need to "fix" that... but i wonder how long i can keep it up?" and since then, staying sober is like a game to me. Like, how long can I keep the steak up? I don't wanna restart my progress! The number is on the home page of my phone with the widget! I see it go up every day! Seeing that progress in real time gives me like, an unreasonable amount of dopamine ngl. Its hecome the best idle game honestly and is SO surprisingly helpful.

I still get bad urges (like, it feels like actual chemical withdrawls) like, every day, but the only thing I've used the razor in my phone case for in 141 days now (that's almost 3/4 of the way to 200!!!) has been cutting thread when I lost the scissors when I was sewing. Like, even though I got Ds in all my classes this semester, I'm actually proud of myself for something. It's such a weird feeling, since Im not usually proud of myself for anything, but it's also a really really good feeling. I actually have milestones to look forward to for once!! It actually makes me so happy and is honestly kinda exhilarating

This is all to say, getting sober isn't easy. It's hell and takes work. But, if you just reframe the way you look at it, it can be so, so much easier. You can even start completely on accident like me. You got this.

(And sometimes poor time management works out in your favor! Dont beat urself up over everything (litterally!) :] )

I hope someone relates 😔

[gobstoppr]

hey guys am i allowed to say on main that i dont like metadad . am i gonna get beaten up for saying this.

guys i think we all took the term found family too literally and now everythings flattened into a boring nuclear family. guys can we stop. hello . is anybody there

[ljuerlav]

often susceptible to that human folly that is wanting people who are also part of a thing to at least acknowledge when you spent a bunch of hours working on something thats is for that thing

[napping-sapphic]

my boyfriend is trans, mtf but doesn't like that i consider my sexuality sapphic. what do i do? doesn't sapphic also apply to trans men?

Ah.

Another advice ask��

Yall i appreciate that some of you feel comfortable asking me for relationship advice or that you might be comfortable here since im an anonymous stranger etc

HOWEVER, let me be straight up honest with you— i havent ever been in an actual relationship, im a MAJOR shut in so i’m not at all up to date with all the minutiae of the queer community, full on i have averaged leaving the house one (1) single time PER MONTH for the last FIVE months

I do not want to give you bad/naive/shortsighted advice

And i promise you do not want my bad advice

I am begging you Please do not ask me for advice i am so stressed

[mcybree]

Ok ok ok I'm not Tryna start discourse but bluestars prophecy was my first ever warriors book and bluestar will always be my favourite so I'm gonna make some counterpoints to you about her being a Smajor character

bluestar has always been led by an intense loyalty and dedication to those she loves and cares for - this includes her mum, her sister, her clan, eventually Firepaw when he joins the clan, and she has a VERY strong moral compass when it comes to doing the right thing - when she sees thistleclaw teaching tigerpaw to hurt a then baby scourge she very much discourages it and is against it

Afaik scott is Not like that, he doesn't have an emotional or love-driven moral code, he does things because they're smart decisions in the long term or because he wants to. Granted I havent seen a ton of his stuff but I have seen his limited life and 3rd life perspectives and he is very much a singular team player there, there to look after himself and well if people align with him that's great he's got allies (jimmy and Martyn) but he won't go out of his way to care for them

Bluestars defiance of starclan in the first series is BECAUSE she gave herself to them and what the warrior code demanded so much - yes she broke clan rules by having kids with crookedstar but she did everything in her power to make sure they'd have a happy life and felt terrible that thrushpelt was willing to say they were his to save her reputation. She didn't do it out of a selfish want, she only ever wanted to help her clan and those she loved, and her becoming clan leader is emblematic of that want. When she rejects starclan so wholeheartedly in the first series it's because THINGS KEEP GOING WRONG WHEN SHES TRIED SO HARD TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT - starclan has never cared about the sacrifices she made to keep her loved ones and clan safe, she lost her mother, her sister, her kits, her mate, literally everything, and things STILL KEEP GETTING WORSE. it's not a demand that she deserves to have everything good, it's a cry for help that shouldn't something go right after she's tried so hard???

C!Scott isn't like that. He puts himself above others and inherently believes he will get the best if he just plays his cards right, and he is good at it, he's very competent at lasting a long time in life series and getting what he wants - the ruthlessness of gem driven by desperation kills him in secret life, Martyn's complete fucking about face kills him in limited life, and I'm pretty sure it's etho who gets him out in 3rd life by luck. He doesn't plan to look after the ones he cares about, because he cares about himself first and foremost. Yeah you can argue when he doesn't get what he wants he gets annoyed, but his is less of a 'why don't I get this don't I deserve it' and more of a 'oh fuck this didn't work. Ok new plan double down on getting what I want by appeasing to people cos they're easy to read and therefore account for'

I don't doubt Scott would make a bluestar adjacent character if he made a warrior cats oc BUT his character would honestly be closer to darktail or ashfur than bluestar and that's that on that.

(sorry you activated 13 year old me's unskippable cutscene sjdjsjsjja this isnt meant to be a serious argument I just love bluestar a lot and love talking about her)

OKAY 1. this is fucking awesome thank you 2. i am going to do something new and exciting (advocate for scott instead of beating him to death with sticks) because unfortunately this bluestar info has only made me believe she is a smajor character even more.

As a general note when I talk about smajor characters as a collective here I’m referring to characters more in the realm of esmp/traffic/rats/pirates/etc, less vampire scott or necromancer scott who are intended to be villainous.

Scott characters tend to operate under a “If I am not a Good Person I may as well die” rule, and consequently abide by a strict moral code to keep themselves feeling clean. For instance: traffic Scott will never go back on his word, he will avoid dishonesty, and he won’t take from others unless he is sure that he can repay them. He will never betray his seasonal primary ally (even when they betray him first), and will often give people things just because they asked him nicely. He stakes a lot of his own identity on this, because it is through being a “good person” that he justifies his superiority (and, by extension, his own existence); in his mind he deserves the best and *is* the best because he is such a good person. When things don’t go his way, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it because he has been nothing but good, so he tries to place a reason. He often assumes that somebody must “have a vendetta” against him, even if this somebody is the world (see: him asking if limlife episode 1 boogeyman is some kind of joke played on him for not giving in to the boogey curse in Last Life.) which is very Bluestar to me, convinced that her misfortunes are a divine punishment.

This is all to say that Scott does have a strict moral code and deep sense of loyalty. Being a “good person” and devoted partner in the ways he understands it are so ingrained into what he is that I think he definitely has the capacity to be a Bluestar if he were raised being taught clan values, even if his internal systems are often built around never letting gross emotions be fully felt rather than what those emotions compel him to do.

[marblebees]

I want to rb that post going around and yell at trans women that its beyond worthwhile to learn to fight and defend yourself but having been doing martial arts for the past 3 years i can say the last thing i want is to just say “go learn to fight.”

Bc for girls to join shitty “”self-defense”” classes that give them zero real tangible skills to protect themselves is give them really really terrible false confidence and potentially get them hurt. But the alternative is to actually go to a gym w/ unknown men & engage in combat sports where you WILL get roughed up and hurt and tossed around, bc the point is to introduce you to more and more intensity until you Can be composed & fight under the stress of a tense situation. And its worth it! But god its HARD and it really sucks a lot of the time.

It just double sucks that a lot of people who might otherwise benefit from fighting will either find the former bc its easy and gain rlly limited actual fighting ability, or get thrown in too deep too quick in a lot of combat sports and rightfully quit bc theyre not about to go get beat up to avoid getting beat up in the future.

[imthatwannabeauthor]

.

[orcelito]

Part of me is like 'I've been a student for so long, how am I gonna handle being Not A Student..!??!' In terms of like. Self perception, I guess.

I think my psyche is already raring for it tho. Here I am daydreaming looking at house listings and writing a damned baby au bc my brain has decided I kinda want one of those, too.

I'll still always be a mega nerd. But fuck dude. I guess I'm an adult, too.

[meme-loving-stuck]

i remember being brought up christian like, almost concerned that i never felt a connection to any of the shit they were talkin about,

and when i was younger i was like "oh no! am i bad for not feeling connected to god?? is it bad i feel like my dead mom doesnt talk to me or watch over me?? am i horrible for pretending?????"

but turns out i just had Autism Powers that made me immune to it and i was able to completely sever myself from the idea of being Christian at the ripe old age of like 13. and it was such a HUGE comfort to see that there were all these other beliefs and spiritual sort of things that other people chose to believe in and didnt necessarily treat their beliefs as COLD HARD UNDENIABLE FACT the way christians treat the existence of god & heaven & hell

like now that i am older i know i was in fact traumatized by the culturally catholic beliefs my family held & forced on us all, but i am really immensely grateful that my child self looked at all the other aspects of christianity that would horrify most other children into behaving/conforming, and basically just went, "okay, source?"

and that was the end of that

[sensitivegoblin]

I'd do anything to have a teasing voice in my ear

[ottitty]

Less of like. Pressure to move in and make plans and fuck and have lots of romance and have all things joint decisions and more like. I'd like to live my separate life w you in it but also kiss n cuddle n be there emotionally when needed sometimes.

[tommygotwrittenoff]

buck and eddie would forget they are Not married and would move in together and start equally contributing to the bills and managing the household together. and someone would be like. oh bucks splitting the mortgage already???? what about the loft???? and both buck and eddie would be like. oh yeah oopsie i forgot the loft was a thing

[raybeetle]

i so sad

[bazelgeuce]

I can't sleep :(

Rant in tags it's long

[philosophicallie]

my vitriolic hate for the parentals only grows btw. everything i overhear is in fact a big fat negative in our relationship

[thanatoseyes]

Me: *strolling along the occult movements in the 1900s* la la la

The article: okay so remember THIS guy. He has ties to this other GUY. And THIS ONE. Don't even talk about him. Okay now moving on this one.

Me: I need a notebook and some aspirin.