#i don't want to see 2025.
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#i don't want to see 2025.#i don't want to experience any of it. every year is the same and it's all going to end badly because it's never ended well#what's the point. nothing will ever actually make me happy im just going to get worse and worse and sadder and sadder#im just going to spiral inwards forever over nothing and one day it'll finally be enough to kill me#im so tired of this. im so tired in general. i can't sleep and i can't be awake and every moment is painful and exhausting.#wish i could just curl up and die
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I know I said I'd be inactive but I gotta rant like I'm at a point of pure rage and I'm not all the way sober rn. As a black woman? I feel betrayed. Like I have no clue why, but for some reason I had faith in y'all to come through and recognize that while Kamala isn't perfect by any means that a Trump presidency would likely mean wraps for all of us, but no. Every. Single. Group managed to fuck up aside from black men and women in this election.
What happens when the internet becomes so overruled with censorship that we can no longer share information about the causes we care about? The police are already over militarized and the oompa loompa that's been put up in office is fully ready to grant them immunity, meaning they would essentially be able to do whatever the fuck they want to us without consequence.
I mean let's be fucking real that immunity is going to affect my community at a disproportionate rate just in case you guys already forgot what those pigs like to do to us. And my community is also that main group of people that is out on the street riding for everybody when there's an issue so what's gonna happen now? Hm?
Black women have been saying for a good while that we should vote for the candidate who will let us keep doing the work we're trying to do. The one that we would be safe protesting and organizing under so that we can make change both in and outside of our community, for example, actually putting third-party candidates in STATE GOVERNMENTS so that when actual viable third parties run, they'll have some chance in the presidential election. Y'know because the Electoral votes and support from state governments are really what matters.
And I say ACTUAL viable third-party candidates because, let's be real once again, half the people who voted for Jill Stein didn't do research on her like they should have. That white lady has been a grifter this isn't news.
It's like...watching people just cling to the idea that some big revolution is going to start within the next year because of this is exhausting, especially when the vast majority of American citizens had not a fucking clue about Palestine, Sudan, or Congo until 2023. Unfortunately for us, this shit takes time and actual irl community building. These election results have only made what would have been difficult nearly impossible because people either want to stand on some moral high ground or for 'tax cuts' that they aren't eligible for because half of you bitches are poor just like the rest of us.
I'm fucking exhausted. My ancestors survived slavery, Jim Crow, red lining - we're still surviving and fighting for justice for victims of police brutality and I am so. Fucking. Tired of surviving shit because y'all can't think critically for two fucking seconds. It's like doing a group project but everyone else has a few pebbles in their skulls knocking around in there instead of brains.
#lesbian#☆kennie's rambles#wlw#i just want to live im tired of this happening every fucking year#I don't wanna see any 'black women were right and the leopards ate our faces' posts in 2025 when shit goes bad#cus fuck everybody#fuck trump#fuck everybody that voted for trump#fuck israel#fuck the united states#fuck the patriarchy#fuck white supremacy#fuck it all im tired#us elections#us politics#election#election 2024#leftist#and i dont give a fuck if this is mean in the slightest i truly wish a lot of people the worst.#oh and ESPECIALLY fuck queer/poc trump supporters#you bitches are the dumbest out of the bunch I wont lie
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#sorrrry pity party part 1323 incoming#i am finally feeling slightly better - still no appetite and not like myself but i want to get up and showered and dressed and stuff#and can actually walk around#and mr sportsthoughts has just come upstairs and looks like death and it sounds like he is now coming down with what i've had#we thought he already had it but it never progressed past a cold so i think it was something different & now he's caught the plague from me#i just want to cry. and go to sleep until 2025 so this year can be over#we have cancelled SO MUCH this week and are going to literally miss every single friends and family christmas occasion at this point#and hahahaahaa at least we'll be fine by jan when we have to go and fly and see his parents which is the one thing we both don't want to do#and its fine we are ok we're together we're fortunate to be in a dry warm house etc#i'm just really letting my feelings get the better of me because i have put so much emphasis on christmas this year - even more than usual#because it's been such a rotten year and christmas was just this wonderful few weeks where he'd be home and we had all these special plans#and it was the one thing keeping me going and now it's here and well. we aren't exactly on tip top festive form#womp womp. nothing can be done! at least i'm alive and on the mend
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this sunday is really sundaying
#ngl 2024 has been quite the year of revelations#THE GRIEF IS NEVER ENDING#if 2025 isn't the year of healing AND therapy I'll do something drastic and you will see me on the news#love how I can't talk about my feelings and trauma with my own family because I'm “exaggerating”#i know what's the cause of my shitty memory and other things but they won't even listen to me#they don't even want to admit how much they've been treating me like fucking shit throughout my whole life#i get flashbacks for a reason#like thanks bitch. i hope you die slowly and painfully#rambles
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so, the canadian federal election isn't until 2025 (specifically ON my birthday which will be really fun) but with the orange fucker's victory in the states, rumours that a snap election will be called are increasing. i'm seeing a lot of people say things like "i like the ndp better too, but they aren't going to win, so you should strategically vote for the liberals".
based on this projection, you would think that's correct. and it would be, if we voted directly, but we don't. we vote for the MPs in our ridings, and the leader of whichever party elects the most MPs becomes prime minister. not every riding has the same projections as the federal.
for example, i live in alberta, a famously conservative province. the liberals are not currently projected to win a single riding here. on 338canada, all but two ridings range in projections from "likely cpc" to "safe cpc". one of those two, edmonton strathcona, is projected as "safe ndp", and the other, edmonton griesbach, is projected as "cpc lean". this is the current projection for it:
voting for the liberals would not be the "strategic vote" in this riding. voting for the ndp would not be "throwing away your vote" in this riding. instead of immediately voting liberal this election, take a look at the polls and projections for your riding and make a decision based on how things are looking for you, not for the entire country. i think the amount of american election content we (understandably) get has made some people forget the differences in our voting system.
(if you don't know your riding, you can search your postal code on elections.ca and it will tell you. english speakers go here and french speakers go here)
#i know the election isn't for a while (unless they call it early) but im seeing a lot of this go around at the moment and wanted to say smth#canadian politics#2025 canadian election#canada#vote ndp#or liberal *said through gritted teeth*#honestly i wouldn't be shocked if the liberals get even less popular as we get closer to election day#and the ndp come in second in even more ridings#please don't just blindly vote for the liberals. vote for who is most likely to beat the con in YOUR RIDING#even if your riding is “safe cpc” (mine is too. i feel your pain). your vote still matters.#even if your riding is “safe ndp/lpc/gpc”. don't get complacent
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Happy Birthday Shion!!!!
he's my favorite character, there's no way i wouldn't have drawn bday art for him 🫶
#cardfight!! vanguard#cfv#cardfight#art#knight cfv bday drawings#cardfight vanguard g#shion kiba#not my best drawing of him at all but whatever whatever i pretend i don't care#see yall in 2025 bc idk if im gonna post anything here until then 😭#favorite character in cfv moment#one of my favorite characters in media overall#he makes me want to play altmile even though i'm dogshit at altmile#thank you shion for existing#also vanguard g 10th anni very soon
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That tiny glimpse of Green Lantern in the teaser trailer got me so excited!! I can't wait to see Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner, it's going to be so fun and he's going to be so annoying <3
#I have a feeling he's going to nail the part#if guy gardner isn't a bit of an asshole I don't want it tho#I'm so curious to see how this Clark will react to him#guy gardner#superman 2025#green lantern
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2024 in concerts! i made it a goal to see more live music this year, even if i had to go alone. in 2023 i only went to one concert, and i'm so happy i pushed myself out of my comfort zone!
march: olivia rodrigo (chappell roan as the opener not pictured!)
august: chappell roan and renee rapp at osheaga (green day and smashing pumpkins not pictured as we were sitting way back on the grass by then), suki waterhouse, paramore and taylor swift at the eras tour
november: kiss of life
here's to more concerts of female artists in 2025 :)
#i've already got at least one concert ticket already for 2025!#i really want to go to see yves but her tour is so overpriced i don't think i can afford it :/#might see if prices drop day of.... the venue is like a five minute walk from my gf's place......
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{--You ever just find yourself sitting there like "Don't be obnoxious about your muse. Don't be obnoxious about your muse. Don't be--" or is that just a me thing?--}
#ooc#{--Dead Apple always has me in a chokehold#but the increasingly slim possibility of animated Stormbringer has me feeling SOME KINDA WAY more than usual#even tho I'm thinking the ''new 2025 BSD project'' that was teased about was the manga#I want to see those shiny fight scenes sO BAD#WANNA SEE THAT GUIVRE FIGHT MAN#I can't help that Chuuya basically invented Rule of Cool--}#Kitten don't look
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Sparkstember Day 25: Hippopotamus (What The Hell Is It This Time?)
My Hippopotamus rant is here. I love Hippo and I think this was one of the best examples of how putting something off for later can be a very good idea sometimes. So I didn't hear most of it until this summer, and hearing the whole album then was one of the biggest highlights of that time. Thank you modern era Sparks for always bringing us the awesomest music ever.
#hippopotamus my beloveddddddd. also i like this drawing a lot!!! :)#i actually managed to make the letters and fire look pretty close to what they're like in the music video so that's pretty epic#anyways my favs are still roughly the same. but lately i've been also really enjoying probably nothing. beautiful somg#and now it's tagent(s) time because i thought it would be fun to buy a hippo plushie for this day and pose it for a photo#but well i don't even have this album physically so idk what other cool way i could have done this in#and yeah i mostly wanted to get something hippo-themed anyway#because a while ago i had to pass up on very awesome socks with hippos on them because they didn't have the right size#and i'm still thinking about them sometimes (i'm the biggest fan of fun socks)#ALSO... my original original plan for hippo (and ecotd tbh)#was to wait with them until something epic and sparks-related was happening. like travelling to see them on tour#well that didn't happen as we all know so. moved on from that idea eventually#but the future is bright anyway because i love modern era sparks sm and i can actually look forward to new albums coming out soon-ish#from both of my biggest favs AND another band that i've been getting into lately so uhhhh if not 2024#then can please at least 2025 be the year of awesomeness and amazingness that i've been waiting for?!?!?#ok this isn't even about hippo anymore so i'll just finish now#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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The only design detail from the upcoming Superman movie (that we know about) that I can't figure out the reason for is the main Superman logo. Why a gold Kingdom Come logo?
What we know about the film so far is that this is supposed to be a more "traditional" Superman story about Clark reconciling his Kryptonian heritage and his human upbringing. With that in mind, I can easily find plot reasoning for most of the design.
The bright colors, trunks, and shield on the back: traditional Superman and possible connection to Earth.
The space/tech lines, armor sections, high collar, and uniform-esque structure: Kryptonian military uniform.
I can easily bullshit justifications for most of the design, except the logo. In Kingdom Come, Superman wears a strange, black and red logo to show his mourning. Specifically, to show that there is still hope in death (though, it may actually be a symbol of revenge or war, but I'll explain later). If you've seen the Arrowverse crossover Crisis On Infinite Earths, you already know this. This explanation is obviously not what this film is doing. This is a young Superman, still coming to terms with his origins, so he's not mourning the loss of everyone close to him. This is why the logo is gold and not black, but why keep the rest of it? I see three, probably obvious explanations.
The first explanation is that the new film or series takes thematic or narrative elements from the comic. In Kingdom Come, Superman retires after the Joker attacks the Daily Planet, killing Lois and the rest of his supporting cast, and the public celebrates a violent vigilante killing him. After these new generation of vigilantes cause the destruction of Smallville (it might have been the entire state of Kansas, which is kind of funny, but I read this book at my local library years ago, so I'm choosing the less extreme option), he comes out of retirement with a new Justice League to reestablish the tradition notion of heroism, though Batman believes Superman is simply looking for revenge. We know that in the new film, a strange version of, what appears to be, the JLI that may be funded by Maxwell Lord is in this film and we know that an authority film is coming, so maybe this new Superman will be introducing, what we would call, a more traditional form of heroism to this already established universe. It would certainly be an interesting, bold statement to make after the last decade of "subversive" takes on Superman.
It could be because this shield is harder to read than the traditional one. If the movie is about tackling Kal-El, the Kryptonian, vs Clark, the human, and this is still the symbol of the House of El, then maybe this symbol was picked because it looks less like an "s", making it feel more alien. Maybe it is a symbol of Krypton in Earth colors.
Or maybe, just maybe, they just liked the Kingdom Come logo. Maybe they wanted to set this Superman apart from other versions and pick a logo from the comics that they liked. Superman and Lois is using the traditional logo, My Adventures with Superman is using something similar to the electric logo, and the DCEU used a variant of the 40's logo, so they looked at what was left and chose their favorite. It wouldn't be the first time they used a logo for no reason (why the fuck did the DCEU Superman use the 40's logo).
Who knows, I'm probably wrong. I just know that I'm currently mixed on the suit overall and trying to sort out my feelings on it. What ya think?
#superman legacy#superman 2025#superman#superman suit#superman logo#clark kent#kal el#character design#film theory#overall#i like how bright and colorful it is and I love the trunks#but I don't like the new 52-isms and the military structure#and the logo confuses me#but we haven't even seen a trailer yet so who knows if we will even care when we see it on screen#i'm just excited about a new version of Superman#i doubt any if these takes are original in anyway#i just know that my friends and family do not want a lecture on superhero costume design#costume design
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the amount of math i put into figuring out my PTO is honestly so funny. i've probably spent like 2 hours this week and last week just playing with the leave calculator spreadsheet my coworker gave me. this morning i added a sheet for 2026 so now i'm calculating my PTO out that far. i basically already have a plan of how i'm taking time off for 2025 so as to maximize my time off in 2026. i dont think this is a normal level of attention to detail but at least i'm having fun
#(at my job i can accrue a certain amount of PTO that then becomes 'use or lose' because only so much carries over each year)#so by the mythical year 2026 i could in fact end up with 121 hours of use or lose by the end of it#aka i am Forced to take off 15 days (121 hrs) that year or it'll just be wiped#oh dear oh no! however could i manage to take 15 days off! <- DESPERATELY wants to be in this position as soon as possible#my issue is that i keep taking too much time off so i havent hit the maximum cap yet lmao#like if i just chilled out i could reach it next year#but chilling out is not in my vocabulary. i have places to go and people to see#therefore i cannot reach use or lose in 2025 BUT i can reach it in 2026....if i don't end up spending too much of what i accrue first#so i have vauge plans next year that havent solidified and i keep trying out stuff to see how many hours it would leave me with#historically my methods of maximizing time are:#1) work a flexible schedule with 9 hour days one pay period in order to get a day off for 'free' (this is how i'll get black friday off)#2) work over time and bank those hours as 'credit' time. i can have up to 24 hours/3 days worth of that stored#(i can easily do this long term by just like. working an extra hour every week and it'll add up lol)#3) receiving a time off award if management loves me enough (i normally get a free 8 hours award each year but i can't bet on this)#4) earning travel comp time by working overtime via work travel (such as your flight getting in at 8 pm or whatever)#5) earning normal comp time by attending a work event outside of normal hours (i.e. that time i worked on saturday)#these are all ways to get time off without dipping into PTO so that i can let the PTO accumulate#......as you can see i'm Very normal about this
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#i won't make it to 2025 i've been crying all day#i don't want anyone to see meeee#and after the party here we'll go to my cousin's house because it's my mom's birthday so they're throwing her a surprise party there#and it's so fucking stupid!!! because idk what they're gonna tell her to take her there#she's gonna feel like her new year's party -which she works hard on every year- is being underappreciated#and that same cousin was going to be here with us! like why 2 partiessss whyyyyyy who's gonna clean all that#meeee because i don't like being around people and i start washing dishes when everyone is gathered doing what people do at parties#but of i say any of this to my siblings they'll think it's just because i don't wanna leave the house which is also true !!!!#i feel so ill so desperate. this is not just not being in the mood. i can't calm down i can't even swallow properly#i haven't eaten anything because i feel my throat is closed and my heart beats so fast and i feel like i'm gonna throw up my own heart#and my stomach and neck and back hurt from how tense i'm am and my head hurts because i can't stop crying#my eyes are so red and so swollen. i'm gonna look disgusting when everyone gets here#📓
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2025 WIP Cleanout
anyway i was thinking about Jessica Abel's thoughts on idea debt and @/bettsfic's newsletter on triaging wips and realized there is a LOT of drawerfic i have that my brain refuses to actually leave in the proverbial drawer
it was easy then to be like 'ok whatever i'll just scrap this' but harder to realize that...i don't actually want to scrap them
i don't know if it's the ideas themselves that keep haunting me or the potential that i know those stories can have if only i put the work in - so here is me, vowing to put the work in
i've got 4 fics, over 300k more words to write, and a plan of action for all of them - here's everything i've got on the list (they all have titles too so that's how you know i'm serious about them LOL)
Something Man-Made is Here
Beef, Amy/Danny, Amy/Paul
this one is what inspired this cleanout bc i've literally had this fic on the backburner FOREVER :') i first started it back in june 2023 and wrote like 20k words before taking a break. then i picked it back up for nano 2023 and wrote the 50k before taking another break. finally in july 2024 i wrote the last 30k and then promptly buried the doc so deep in my folders that i didn't look at it again
i do think this one has good bones and is worth polishing up, but i mean, to state the obvious...absolutely no one is going to read this. there are like 10 fics for this fandom - for so long i've been feeling like it would be a waste of time to fix this up.
but!!! it wouldn't!!!! because as we have established, this will keep haunting me until i actually do something about it. so! plan of action
currently, the draft is around 100k and 27 chapters. but! it is a mess
i think the final chapter count will actually be less....chapters 24-27 feel like they could be consolidated into one or two, just to tighten up the pacing a bit
the entire thing also needs probably a straight up rewrite so....that will be fun
a lot of the smaller things this needs - a sweep for pacing, characterization, etc etc - will probably be covered in the rewrite so i just need to put the time in
final word count will probably be somewhere around 80-100k? i think a lot of what i have will be cut and replaced, so it'll also be tightened up
2. Hold Up Our Mirrors
AI: The Somnium Files, Iris & Saito
started this one back in february 2023...wow. it's currently sitting at 17k words, but i think the reason i dropped it is because it has no audience except for me [do you see a pattern here...] and also because it needed a lot of canon review that i wasn't really in the mood to do
this one also has good bones! back when i started this, i found the theme/motif that i wanted it to center around, so that's a lot of the groundwork done.
canon reviewwww.....i have no idea who these people are anymore.
probably will scrap most of what i have and start fresh, mostly bc i was in a very different place when i wrote this and i think starting over will help put me back into the headspace of the story
good bones good bones!! i actually have most of the major beats of the story already written down, so most of the rewrite's focus will be on characterization rather than plot
i don't think this one should be very long? [fully aware that i will probably eat my words] i was thinking around 50k, so we'll see
3. Swim Back to Your Shore
Persona 4, Yu & Nanako, Yu & Investigation Team
ahhh another fic that will only appeal to me. this one is actually more recent than the others on the list..i started it back in august 2024. so far, i've got 29k written, but about 20k of that was written with dictation, so it's more of a zero draft than anything coherent.
the first like...8k though, i'm actually quite happy with! don't think it'll require as much work as the rest
okiee first of all, need to rewrite all of the dictation-written chapters (5 of them) into something resembling prose
after that, actually, i think it's just writing the rest? the plot is like.....a vague mishmash of things that only exists in my head, so finding the right thread to pull might take a while
thinking around 80k for this one
4. Maybe Life Will Love You Home
Miraculous Ladybug, Shadybug/Claw Noir
so this one might actually appeal to people other than me!! all....two of you LOL
started this one back in may 2024, and originally meant to finish it for the ML big bang, but..idk the vibes were off, so i scrapped that idea. this one's currently sitting at 15k, but i think i need to start fresh with this one too.
read through what i have and cannibalize it for ideas
just write! for this one at least, the plot is a bit more concrete in my head? maybe bc i've been thinking about it for so long....haunting me...
thinking also around 80k for this one!
deadline for all of these is by the end of the year, 2025. godspeed, future me
#wip cleanout#2025 wip cleanout#i love how many of these are like#'hey i have a draft! also i'm going to scrap it and start from zero'#ok so you're just writing them from scratch got it HAHA#wow seeing it all laid out like this#i didn't realize how many projects i talk myself out of bc they won't have an audience#and this is just for longfics i've started also#we don't talk about the billion oneshots i have#it's interesting too that i do have longfics i've scrapped and put in the drawer#but those actually don't come back to haunt me!#so it is something about these specific ones that my brain wants to finish really bad#interesting...
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POST CONCERT DEPRESSION (it's an old concert i've never even been to)
#bangbangcon#speak yourself the final#bts#I WISH I WAS THERE SO BAD#if i don't get to see them in 2026 (i don't think they'll go on tour in 2025)...#i've never wanted to go to a concert so bad
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wait, so yesterday was my 2nd anniversary of seeing my boys live for the first time???
#i literally went to my instagram archive cause i thought it was today but nope#looks like i've missed it...#anyway repeat after me: poppy is going to see twenty one pilots in 2025#she's gonna get those damn tickets#she's going to clancy tour next year dressed as clancy#✨️manifesting✨️#8 more days till my salary and then...#please pray for me#i just want to have this ticket already but i don't wanna spend my savings on it#cause i am just like that for no reason at all#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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