#i don't want to go back to that place
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lyric of the day? 'if i could take it all back, i wouldn't take it all back now'
#steph.text#sat with my thoughts today#came to the realization that the last few days have been about closure for me#i can't be something i'm not anymore#the whole act of compartmentalizing and behaving as if my life is different from what it actually is?#i cannot hold up the facade#and i think the real question is why should i have to#i know whom i trust enough to tell things to#and that's more than anyone could ask for sometimes#truly an end of an era#but as the lyric suggests#i don't want to go back to that place#i want to embrace the change#so that's that
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#WIP#art#vampire hunter d#vhd#Sorry I realize I've neglected the folks that only follow me on tumblr for a while !! 😭😭😭#mmm and sorry to anyone who follows me in different places y'all are probably sick of it (updated at least...)😭😭😭 forgive me 🥹🫶👐#Sorry I tend to focus on one social media at a time -I post the most liberally on my instagram's close friends#.... anyone is free to join it actually just send me a message there if you want ♡ (๑´• ᵕ •ू`๑)#I do want to make drawings that make people think more deeply - to give D the depth that Kikuchi doesn't allow us hahaha#Mmm.... I like some D jesus allegory 🤤 It kinda works if you think about it#then again stress turns me into a perv🌝 so don't have high hopes for the future - school oughhhh school....#Also I enjoy seeing strangers going like “husband” or what not - you're not oomf??? Who are you 😭😭😭#DW btw I actually really don't care LOL I just think it's funny#I'd rather that then be haunted by private quotes - there's 1 private quote on my Damned D and gosh I'm so curious😭🌝#Also I'm back in school it's my final year and I only got fall semester for my entire senior thesis so I won't be able to post as much..oug
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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Does croissant and gale get married in your story?
It's certainly something they plan to do!
But not just yet.
🥐 Croissant Adventures Masterpost 🥐
#FINALLY! MORE BREADWEAVE! JUST FOR YOU!#Thank you for asking this - what a good way for me to segue into some post-game stuff! (this is pre-epilogue)#Croissant was never super into marriage so it's something they don't mind waiting on. And they want to make sure ALL their friends are ther#I also feel like Croissant never felt like they had a Purpose - so they've never had a place to direct all their energy#Now that they have this task they're going to go full Gale mode about it lol#Which I think Gale would be happy to oblige - reading a bunch of books to solve a problem seems right up his alley#Bc I'm not sure if I'll draw this - I envision Croissant focusing on figuring out how to magic Karlach's heart back to normal#while Gale works on some magic artifact to allow Astarion to be in the sun again#Both of them will be bad about having a proper sleep schedule#bg3#baldur's gate 3#croissant adventures#gale#gale dekarios#breadweave#asks#comics
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And I, I thought I was a scholar Withdrawn from love Why would I even bother?
@spottedenchants
[image description in alt text]
#happy chrism#this is not a year late no sir#spottedenchants#shadowgast#essek thelyss#caleb widogast#critical role#critical role fanart#wrist brace my best friend wrist brace#i put this down and lost track of what i wanted to do with it in the first place#so now it is a big mix#and it's done#would you believe me if i said there were originally going to be two more hands here#comic#full drawing#monochrome#technically not but close enough#i need to figure out how to put more 'me' back in my art#i don't know where it went
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[Esp]
Los hermanos cachondos, quiero decir, los hermanos homúnculos.
[Eng]
The horny siblings, I mean, the homunculi siblings.
#it took me longer than expected to finish this#well#I think they deserve to have piercings okay?#I don't think it was something of their time but who cares?#how lucky they are#they can get as many piercings as they want and take them off and go back to normal#so cool#Greed would have them in different places every week#I would have loved to put more in Lust but I couldn't decide where lol#but I bet she has one in her belly button#that's the best fur I've ever drawn in my whole life#fma#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fullmetal alchemist#greed#fma greed#lust#fma lust#my art
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There are multiple gods in the game that you can directly interact with and they all have ties to the narrative. You can interact with Shar via Shadowheart. You can interact with Mystra via Gale. You can interact with Myrkul via Ketheric when he takes on the avatar form. You can interact with Bhaal via Durge and in the fight with Orin. You can interact with Bane after killing Gortash and using "Speak with Dead" in which the soul you speak to is not Gortash, but Bane himself. I would include Vlaakith in this list but Vlaakith is not a god, she is a lich presenting herself as a god. And, of course, there is the Absolute which doesn't really become a god until it ascends into the Netherbrain (although that is debatable).
But, did you know that Lolth will also interact with you? As far as I am aware, Lolth is the only non-story related god in which you do have interactions with. One of them is only available if you are a Lolth-sworn drow, and the other is only available if you are a Cleric of Lolth (you do not need to be Lolth-sworn for it).
The first instance is in the goblin camp with the spiders in the pit. This does require that you are a Lolth-sworn drow and that you have the ability to speak with animals. When talking to the spiders, you will have the option to present yourself to the spiders as Lolth herself. If you fail the persuasion check, Lolth gets pissed off as she was listening to you and is not happy that you tried to present yourself as her. And she tells the spiders you are an imposter and they attack you. But if you succeed the check, Lolth doesn't do anything and the spiders will think you are Lolth. So, Lolth doesn't really have a problem with you pretending to be her. But if you are going to pretend to be her, you better do it right. If the spiders think you are Lolth, you can ask them about what's going on in the goblin camp and the spiders only talk about one thing. They immediately tell you that there is another drow in the camp who has forgotten her way and that she is forsaken. And, as I said, Lolth is here. She heard the spiders admit this. Lolth does nothing about it.
The second instance is in the Underdark with the Phalar Aluve. When you interact with the sword, you have two different checks, a Strength check and a Religion check. If you do the Strength check, you can just pull it out of the stone and be on your merry way. If you perform the Religion check, the narrator will tell you different things depending on certain conditions. If you are a Lolth-sworn drow and/or a Cleric of Lolth, the narrator will tell you that the religious rite to pull the blade from the stone is blasphemous as it pays honor to the weak. If you are of any other race and/or cleric of any other god, the narrator will tell you that the sword is of Eilistraee and the rite pays honor to the fallen. The religious rite is that you spill a little bit of your blood and the sword will rise out of the stone on its own. If you do this as a Cleric of Lolth (you don't need to be Lolth-sworn) you will feel hundreds of spiders crawl all over you as Lolth is warning you not to do shit like that ever again. Not only did you perform the religious rite of another god, you performed the religious rite of a god she hates. And she is letting you know how much she hated that.
These are the only two instances in the game that I have found in which Lolth interacts with the player but there are plenty of other moments in which Lolth could interact with you, but doesn't (such as with the Phase Spider, the baby spiders in Grymforge, Kar'niss, or the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar). Of these two moments where Lolth does interact with you, one of these instances is in the goblin camp, and the other is in the Underdark not too far away from the goblin camp. I don't think it is much of a coincidence that these two interactions occur in close proximity to Minthara. Almost as if Lolth has a reason to be in that area specifically to watch and monitor things, and you just so happened to be there. And the only things that compel her to interact with you is because you pissed her off. But, as long you don't piss her off, she will do nothing and she will say nothing.
When Minthara was being tortured by the Absolute, she prayed to Lolth and begged Lolth to give her the strength to fight her enemies. But Lolth does nothing and Lolth says nothing. In fact, that was the full extent of Lolth's "punishment" for Minthara, nothing. All Lolth did was not answer Minthara's prayers and not show up when Minthara needed her the most. Lolth did not torture Minthara like the Absolute did, Lolth did not turn her into a drider, nor did Lolth eat her. All she did, was nothing. And yes, Lolth is known for abandoning drow and no longer interacting with them. A drow has to do something incredibly awful in order for Lolth to just back away from them entirely. But you cannot convince me that Lolth is going to let one of her Baenre's go so easily. It's not as if Minthara has done anything truly awful either to make Lolth that mad.
According to Minthara, she herself has sinned against the Spider Queen, but it's not as if she chose to abandon Lolth, she was forced away and mind controlled into being devoted to another god. But would this make a difference to Lolth? Does it really matter if Minthara was compelled to have faith in another god besides Lolth? It isn't until Minthara is freed and feels the absence of Lolth that she chooses to no longer follow Lolth. Minthara even mentions how turning against Lolth is a big no-no in Menzoberranzan. Minthara herself at one point has hunted down and killed those who turn their backs from Lolth so she knows the same will be done to her if she were to ever return home. In fact, if you are a Lolth-sworn drow or a Cleric of Lolth, you are given unique dialogue options with Minthara to kill her because she is a traitor to Lolth and these options continue to show up until you recruit her into your party and she joins your roster. Despite all of this, Lolth does nothing. Minthara spews anti-Lolth rhetoric left and right, and Lolth does nothing. If you take Minthara to the tabernacle, she will spit on a shrine to Lolth, and Lolth does nothing.
Minthara is also able to walk through the Gauntlet of Shar, which is in the Underdark, and Lolth does nothing. Sure, you could argue that its connection to the Shadowfell and the fact that Shar is there via Shadowheart is enough to keep Lolth away. The lore of DnD does not make it quite clear what the relationship between these two goddesses are. But I am willing to bet that Lolth is smart enough not to step on Shar's toes because Shar would annihilate her. However, there is a small little section of the Gauntlet where it actually does spit you out directly into the Underdark and into Lolth's territory. Minthara can walk right out there just fine, and Lolth does nothing.
But most importantly, Minthara's default ending is her returning to the Underdark with the sole purpose of destroying House Baenre and then killing Lolth. Destroying House Baenre could lead to a chaotic and political disaster in Menzoberranzan, and Lolth does nothing. Minthara quite literally wants to kill Lolth and has intentions to do so after taking House Baenre, and Lolth. Does. Nothing!
If Minthara goes into the Underdark and destroys House Baenre, this will cause chaos and death. And the Baenre's won't be the only ones she has to destroy, but any and all allies of House Baenre in which they do have a lot. And Lolth will feed off of all the death and carnage and chaos that Minthara is about to bring to Menzoberranzan because Lolth loves chaos more than she hates traitors.
Maybe, Lolth has not abandoned her as Minthara thinks she has. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara has not actually upset her. Maybe, Lolth has done nothing and said nothing because Minthara is already doing everything Lolth wants her to do. And all it took, was making Minthara think that Lolth abandoned her. There was no need for Lolth to answer Minthara's prayers, because Minthara always had the strength to fight her enemies.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#this game is all about the cycles of abuse and the characters choosing to break the wheel or continue the cycle#minthara is an example of someone who continues to cycle because she doesn't see that there is any other option#and the alternatives leave her vulnerable to abuse or death#she has had enough abuse in her life and most certainly does not want to die#when presented with the opportunity to rebound - either through bhaal or the absolute#she will choose it in a heartbeat as it is all she knows and she's familiar with it#if lolth ever speaks to minthara again - and welcomes and embraces her with open arms#i think minthara would completely relapse and devote herself once more to lolth because it is all she knows#and she expresses missing lolth and not knowing who she is or what to do without her#the only things that can pull minthara away from this relapse is you and her devotion to you#you are the only thing that can stop her from going back to lolth or embracing any of the other gods out of fear#because you are her reason to stay on the surface and you show her it is possible to defy the gods and live#you show her it is possible to have an identity outside of godly worship and that it is possible to live for one self#and to be devoted to one self#if you go with her to the underdark and successfully conquer house baenre and make your own house in its place#she's doing it entirely for the two of you#and i don't think she would accept lolths embrace and would continue to defy her
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For a moment, imagine yourself in Mithrun's brother shoes.
Your brother - stronger, prettier, more charismatic, but also distrustful and disdainful of everyone especially you - is to be sent to the Canaries. It is the rule, it is the duty of all noble houses. But you know what goes on there, Mithrun knows what happens there. Yet you see him off, bidding a temporary farewell as you do, because someone from the House has to go and it won't be definitely you. Mithrun knows this, you know this. And you wonder, very briefly, if Mithrun hates you now more than he does already.
Your brother - powerful, agile, a good soldier just as he is as an heir, if he could only be an heir - suddenly disappears. The unit he belonged to suddenly disappeared. And you're speechless because - how? why? No one wants to answer you; they will instead try to bring back a body, they promise to you. But that is not what you want. You grieve for your brother. but your own family doesn't grieve with you. Wasn't Mithrun family too?
Then you found out: MIthrun is alive.
Your brother - now weak, despondent, his eyes always looking for something that is not here nor there - is to be sent home where people can take care of him. It is not your first choice, you want him home. But he is - sick. Not quite there. He needs someone who can look after him and you look at yourself - your gait, your constitution - and you know it can't be you. So, you follow the advice of your family and pour out all your resources to find him the best of healers and caretakers. You ask yourself, almost daily, if Mithrun would ever return to who he once was.
Your brother - strong, pretty, uninterested of anything and anyone else aside from what he calls 'the demon' - is now better. He can walk on his own now, eats without throwing up on himself. The color on his skin is back and the scars of his injuries have faded into thick bumps and discolored skin. But he still isn't quite there; still needs help and probably will for the rest of his life. And you can live with that. You can provide that. Just as long as he comes home.
But doesn't. Your brother - now a husk of his former self, and you hate thinking of him that way, but you can't help yourself, the Mithrun you knew is gone - runs straight back to the Canaries. His mission is not over, he says. He doesn't care how long it takes, he says. And you see him off, again, because someone from the House has to go and it still can't be you. Mithrun knows this, you know this, and you can't help but wish, very briefly, if things would've been different if you went instead of him.
#mithrun dungeon meshi#mithrun#mithrun of the house of kerensil#mithrun's brother#dungeon meshi#this is so self-indulgent#because we don't know who or what kind of person mithrun's brother was#but he definitely cared for mithrun (more than their own parents probably)#and i can imagine the anguish of having the responsibility of serving the canaries#be placed on your brother instead of you because of your physical condition#then to make things worse#your brother comes home barely alive and not the person he was and when u ask#no one wants to answer you#then there's the anguish of helping him getter better; wondering if he'll get better#he does#in a way#and the first thing mithrun asks of his brother is 'i want to go back to the canaries'#there is no way mithrun's brother heard that and said 'ok' while smiling#that man would've gone into a hysterical fit just trying to tell mithrun that he was lucky enough to have survived#but he has to let mihrun go#mithrun's brother is probably weeping with joy learning that the canaries have disbanded#only to learn that his brother is staying in a tallman kingdom to slay monsters#he's still very conflicted about that#id say
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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon
#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays#if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone#because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page#but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source#because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it#and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but#on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway#someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those#if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link#to my etsy#I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside#like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth#like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back#or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info#about what the art is and who made it and their links#I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful#and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited#but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue#reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing#as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen!#that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB#A JOB!!!!!!!!!!#sergle.txt#I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
#ramble#i think knowing that he was awful and that it wasn't my fault should make all the sad go away actually#i'm in such a weird fragile state right now that last night i looked at my flip flops that are still covered in mud#and i just started crying bc last weekend he carried me over the mud so they wouldn't get ruined. KNOWING he was going to do this to me#sorry i try really hard not to overshare but i don't want to keep bothering anyone in my actual life about this and idk what to do#when it happened it didn't hurt this badly and i just assumed i would be fine#idk i think it's just sunk in how much of my future i don't have anymore and that's like#a bit scary#because i was Just calming down and thinking maybe i would be ok in the long term and now it's all gone#i'm in that weird place between desperately wanting him back and plotting where to bury the body parts#i'm also mad bc i wish he'd left me before the festival. there were SO many gorgeous metalhead trans girls that i could've kissed
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I need to see the spider demons please 😭🙏
#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#blue and violet#I can't believe I brought back the spiders in the actual chapter itself#Pretty sure the fact that those guys come back had been in the outline for it since the VERY beginning#like those guys NEEDED to be relevant again souly because I do in fact want to bring them up yet again after this#not sure when tho#but this chapter was a reminder that they do in fact still exist in the fic and they are still a little morally ambiguous#spider queen is in her 'market place' form because I figured it would be a better representation as to where she is in life now: defeated#her 'crown/helmet' broke when she had been shoved into that furnace so -#-I honestly don't think as( of right now in the story) that she would have the dignity/confidence to wear a new one#Syntax would have also made her a new spider mech (since Goliath has his new one) but she would have refused to wear it for the same reason#for now Spider Queen will be 80% wheelchair and 20% standing up when she has enough reason to deem standing up and walking necessary#also sandy cameo haha- huntsman wanted to go after Mayor after that horrific interaction in the chapter#I don't think sandy thinks thats a good idea#lmk spider queen#lmk huntsman#lmk syntax#lmk goliath#lmk spider demons#monkie kid spider queen#monkie kid syntax#monkie kid huntsman#monkie kid goliath
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Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.
I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.
The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.
Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.
So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.
#cute#pets#snakes#friends#animals#I think Sakura tried copying Scoria and didn't quite get the full memo#So she went down the front bark and Scoria went down the back which leads into diggy dirt#And Sakura was like#“I followed friend into bark but where is friend???”#Meanwhile Scoria was probably oblivious her little sister was trying to find her & she may was well have her front half going into a portal#Eventually they found each other fully#And were very clear they prefer their home far more than this enclosure they helped build tunnels for#I'm glad to know they like their home#While I do want to make it more aesthetically pleasing#the current focus was filling it with things they enjoy#Specifically things they have a lot of fun playing with or on#I want their home to be the place they feel safe but also enjoy being in#not a prison#a bedroom#I think they like their enclosure but they sometimes don't want to go in it because they also really enjoy spending time with me#Scoria really does#but also communicates effectively when she is sleepy from playing and needs to rest#as much as they love each other when they go to sleep for the night they sleep alone#even with the option to stay near each other#I think this is nature rather than something I taught them by separating them into their own enclosures after play time#which makes me wonder if humans classified them as solitary just because they don't want room mates#like plenty of people i know choose to live alone but that doesn't mean they are introverts/solitary#I wonder if wild hoggies sleep alone (not counting brumation) and their social lives outside their den was completely ignored#Like I bet they live in a neighborhood or kingdom or whatever you want to call it#The fact they can communicate“I'm friendly let's be nice to each other”indicates a species that regularly comes into contact with each other
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Merrill banters I am thinking about all the time always 24/7
merrill truly will incessantly worry she's stupid and missing the point all the time and then take you out with the most beautifully worded and compassionate breakdown of the thematic spine of DA2 you've ever heard. no actually daisy I think you're the only one getting the point here slowly but surely
especially this one, actually: (also why I could see how bioware would bring merrill into DA:D on solas' side, but also I really really don't want them to because her arc is just -- it's just incredible and I don't want them to mess with it lol)
'I don't think people are cleansed by fire'. people make mistakes and you have to believe in them anyway. yeah basically that's the thesis of dragon age huh
#'hawke is my friend. they are my people'. simple not stupid. I love you so much merrill#dragon age#dragon age 2#on second thought let's not go to kirkwall; it is a silly place#merrill#the way you also sense through merrill's story how varric is like... protective to the point of slightly paternalistic over her#(not in a deliberate/ill-intentioned way but just with the intensity of how badly he wants her to be ok. I feel u bro)#but also clearly respects her insight and intellect so much#he gives her by far the most 'glimpsing the shape of the narrative' moments#merrill is kind of diametrically ideologically opposed to solas when you think about it -- her wanting to preserve the past#is about helping the people who are already *here*; to give something back to them#solas is planning on killing the people already here to give *someone* back the past one day#(I don't necessarily think he's entirely convinced by himself tho so like let's see how that one plays out haha)
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Ok but, but—if Telemachus mistakenly believes his dad and Poseidon to be friends and Odysseus and Poseidon are forced to hang out because of him, would the lines between pretend and not pretend blur after several years? Like would they eventually start having at least a little fun with each other and then later be absolutely horrified by that (especially Poseidon, bc what is this, his hatred is no longer as all consuming as it used to be?? Who authorized that??)
And eventually Odysseus just goes "Yk that offer to learn forgiveness still stands" while wearing the most shit-eating grin ever (Penelope predicted this development several years ago)
yeah!!! ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜ i would like to think that they do eventually end up having a real friendship rather than just a fake one
and yes of course penelope could see it coming a mile off!
they both would be internally like "oh gods why?!" at first.
but then they both realise that maybe just maybe they actually enjoy each others company and their bickering turns into banter & laughter.
telemachus just now thinks their best friends rather than just friends shdjhdfjds
penelope is happy that after all the trauma those two caused each other, they can finally put it behind them. she loves seeing her husband actually laugh and enjoy himself. also she definitely says i told you so, many times to odysseus face about her earlier predictions.
as for odysseus & athena's friendship. even after their past breakup falling out, i like to think that odysseus is initially really worried about admitting he regards poseidon as an actual friend now. he's worried that even though she has changed, that maybe befriending her uncle (the god she has had a long rivalry with) is a step too far again.
to his surprise though, she's actually happy for odysseus and proud that he was able to actually befriend the earth-shaker himself. this time she's glad odysseus did not push his emotions aside and opened his heart for friendship & forgiveness.
what odysseus didn't expect though, was that the 'king of ithaca's and god of the seas' friendship' would be a hot topic in olympus itself.
suddenly ithaca's palace has more uninvited visits from other gods and goddess. the mortal king who was instrumental in winning the trojan war, who battled with monsters and gods alike... became friends with the god who caused him to take 10 years to get home?
he had already been talked about amongst the gods during those 10 years, but now they were all even more curious as he has gone from brutally defeating poseidon to becoming friends???
poseidon however was not happy with their interest in ithaca and especially odysseus. that was his (and athena's, but mostly his) mortal friend gods damn it!
(im sorry this ended up being a long reply, my brain wouldn't stop yapping away hhdhdhdh)
(please if you have any futher thoughts, please please please share/add them ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀) )
#poseidon: *holding odysseus above his head* BACK OFF THIS MORTAL IS MY FRIEND#athena: *coughs*#poseidon: *still holding odysseus* ...and athena's i guess...#poseidon: *now holding odysseus like a sack of potatoes in one arm and holding his trident in the other*#poseidon: *points his trident at the other gods* GO FIND YOUR OWN MORTAL#odysseus: *just accepting this is his life now* poseidon please put me down#penelope is just like “the gods can do want they want as long as they don't cause trouble or a mess”#telemachus is happy and excited to make more god friends#epic the musical#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#odysseus#epic: the musical#poseidon#athena epic#athena#penelope epic the musical#friends in higher places au?#forced friends au?#i still haven't thought of a name for this au#o3o-lapd-o3o asks
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Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.
Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.
She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.
Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...
and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...
... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.
#Yor Forger#Spy x Family#sxf meta#there is also a meta there about how she fears Yuri will be too heartbroken by such a revelation#bc she raised him and he idolized her and she fears to even consider the possibility of him finding out#Loid and Anya are on a different scale#not because they “love her more” or whatever#it's impossible to make that comparison#but because they see her flaws and don't idolize her#but they accept her and support and encourage her#she feels on an equal standing with them#I mean... not perfectly. not yet. but it's closer than with Yuri#I mean protecting him was her first and always motivation#but she also wants to protect him from the truth#while she feels that if the Forgers find out... it will be okay#she won't be judged#and I think that means a lot to her#that she has a place where she can fall and fail and be treated like a person instead of a goddess (by Yuri) or a failure (by society)#wow okay I'm back to writing tag meta I should go to sleep
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if you're wondering why I kind of abandoned this blog, there's several reasons (fandom just doesn't feel fun anymore, I'm trying to cut back on screen time, I've been feeling like my faith is in contradiction to what I see/read/interact with on here is for years and years now) but the final straw has been what I see on my dash every day about Israel/Palestine.
I keep seeing people I used to interact with and used to like now peddling conspiracy theories, debunked claims, inflammatory headlines, and even bloodthirsty rhetoric with tens of thousands of notes (when corrections of those posts get ~500 notes at best), and reacting to nuanced conversations like they're calls for hatred, all while turning a blind eye to the very literal vicious hatred or sheer ignorance in many of those big posts. The level of black-and-white thinking is so strong that we are wayyyy past 'us-vs-them,' we're in the kind of discourse where even 'know thy enemy' (being interested in understanding the opposing arguments even just so you can dismantle them) is considered hatred - people can't be bothered to know what they're arguing for or against, nothing short of plugging your ears and screaming for the death of the Bad People is enough. This is a wave of just about the most hypocritical, callous and uninformed 'activism' this website has ever been guilty of and it's too much. I'm done with this.
And yes, this is about antisemitism. You can all shout 'not antisemitic, just anti-zionist' all day long but you have done jack shit to prove you don't hate Jews beside chanting 'punch a nazi' in the same breath you use KKK slurs and cheer for groups that have 'curse the Jews' in their slogan. I trust none of you anymore.
#israel palestine conflict#israel hamas war#antisemitism#I should have taken a stand from the beginning and I was afraid to. makes me a pretty shitty ally I guess#I also didn't want to talk about current events on a fandom blog bc who am I to give my two cents?#and how can I justify having an opinion unless I back it up with constantly up to date and rigorously examined info#and how can I stop talking about current events once i've started? making my fandom blog no longer about fandom#I still don't know what the right thing to do is#I still don't think it's my place to speak out on much of what's going on in I/P because of how hard it is to be accurate and objective#but if I'm on any 'side' it's certainly not the side of the western 'activists'#i'm on the 'side' of the innocent people suffering in both countries and on the side of the jewish people you've made feel afraid#i'm on the side of life#you GLORIFIED TERRORISM AND SUICIDE
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