#i don't want to dwell on that

[siredcrab]

the fact that I don't know shit about Auguste aside from what Laurent thinks of him which is evidently very biased but I still feel so strongly about him. what do i do with that

[binomech]

some opinions on fanfic trends for Disco Elysium on AO3 for the past 2-ish years; i address racism, ableism, jean and kim tropes, accesorization of harry and the way the game themes appear to have warped.

some of you may know i've been reading every fic published on the disco AO3 tag chronologically since 2019 for a little over a year and jotting down some trends (not a proper statistical study, just some tracking of when certain tropes are introduced and when and how they reproduce because i like observing that kind of thing.) there's been an uptick in trans(masc) Kim and Jean character studies since late 2022-early 2023, among many others, but these ones were like overwhelmingly prolific once they were introduced.

harry, kim and jean are overwhelmingly the characters with most fanworks in the tag. and having read a little over 4k works it turns out that people engage in a very distinct way with them for the most part that tracks with the growth of the trans Kim and Jean character studies as a trend.

the disco elysium fandom's english-language writers are, according to my cursory snooping, overwhelmingly trans, some flavor of gay, white and from north america and western europe. given personal anecdotes, i also suspect they are upper middle class (though not as statistically huge as the previous things) and struggle with mental health. in the past decade or so a lot of fanworks have followed a trend of exploration focused on catharsis and personal relatability.

now, kim and harry appear so much in the text with so much detail that there's plenty of personal details to pull from to write them, where as jean's total presence in the game (rarely achieved in one run but i'm taking into account all his mentions and lines) is smaller so it follows that people need to fill in some gaps and there's more characterization freedom. jean is white, younger than both harry and kim, canonically depressed, non-canonically confirmed by his character player an amphetamine addict but presented as a functional person during the game, and covers a very specific narrative hinge that i understand as relevant: he's a bridge between pre-Martinaise Harry and his Martinaise self.

he's objectively a very comfortable character to play with because he's mostly a blank slate except for his relation to Harry and his vitriolic grief towards him. so logistically i understand why people who struggle with mental health, are white, are anywhere between 17 and 35, are functional and able-bodied and may or may not have a complicated relationship with a close person who struggles with addiction or other health issues might go "YES, GOOD CATHARSIS NARRATIVE FOR ME". but the sheer amount of works that value Relatability over engaging with the characters or the themes has resulted in a very strong ripple. which leads to trans kim.

the game paints a deep and vivid image of kim, both from within harry's own perspectives and the objective things he says out loud. he's a walking contradiction, he's alienated from his body and selfhood, he beat himself into submission to stay alive. he's a walking reminder of his assasinated communist parents, the people who killed them paid his salary, his body (racialized, disabled) is both a hindrance to his assimilation and a tangible proof that he could have belonged somewhere but doesn't, that no matter what he does it will be considered first. so he watches his words, his movements, his appearance. so he partakes in hypermasculinity. he's canonically gay, mixed race, diasporic seolite, and disabled. and somehow, the only one of this that is recurringly explored in most fanworks is his homosexuality, usually in the form of being a guiding figure to harry or as a Fellow Gay Cop to jean, or eyes, or someone else.

now, we have the trans kim trope. my opinion on the trope isn't relevant to the point i'm trying to make, but i will say i think transmasc kim is something i enjoy in theory, i think it's a worthy exploration that works very well with the hauntings of embodiment and perception that exist in kim's canon self. but it's very jarring when all of these tales of gay trans kim refuse to engage with race, or with physical disability. like, after you've read 800 trans kim fics you start noticing how solid that avoidance is, how big the elephant in the room is, and i can't help but think that, coupled with the explorations of Jean, the issue is: the white ablebodied writer is unwilling to engage with race and disability.

my charitable reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't want to write about what they don't know, they don't want to overstep. my neutral reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't consider how sexuality and gender's material realities are tied to race and ablebodiedness in the real world because they are the Default Categories and it didn't occur to them that kim's experience of them might overlap. my least charitable reading of this without directly falling into the assumption of ill intent is that the white ablebodied writer is uncomfortable with the idea of the fact that their experience of gender and sexuality isn't universal and it's not as emotionally cathartic to think about how they might be racist and ableist because they put on horse blinders and they're trying to write things they like, and understanding this is unpleasant and doesn't belong in their feel-good hobbies.

people love to talk about kim's body without acknowledging the way asian masculinity and femininity exist in relation to whiteness when it's harry or jean in the room. people love to talk about kim's body without engaging with the power relations that exist in many disabled people's sexuality.

the tropes' strength lies in the relatability factor (very high) and the willingness of both author and audience to engage with the canon material for the characters they are writing (very low). and so you end up with a lot of jean character studies about his feelings towards harry (when everyone but kim in the game also knows both harries, but jean is prioritized consistently) and a lot of character studies about kim (that ignore most of the lived experiences of him because they're directly tied to his and his parents' race and alienation that are not particularly cathartic for the white author and reader)

one of the big themes of the game, if not the biggest, is failure. specifically it asks the player to think about what to do when you have failed and you know there are no blank slates, and asks you to empathize not only with harry, whose every thought you're privy to, but to everyone you talk to that has the same rich landscape beyond your brief interaction. when relatability is prioritized in fanworks, this question falls apart, the purpose becomes to find ways in which these characters are like you (the author, the reader) so you can afford them the level of humanity needed to feel emotions about them.

harry's tropification follows four large trends: self-loathing, aggressive addict, psychic omniscient prophet, overwhelmingly emotional and adoring puppy. some authors sometimes are capable of depicting both, usually as if they are unrelated and it's a harry-esque contradiction, but it's truly baffling how rare it is to find stories that engage with all of them or with multiple of them as inextricably bound together like canon material does. harry needs to be relatably lovable (heartbroken, self-loathing, fixable by love, fixable by the universe, capable of change that gets exponentially better) or relatably hateable (physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative, unreasonably needy).

most fics in the relatable lovability fall on the kim/harry ship, most fics in the relatable hateability fall on the jean/harry ship. here's where it ties into the big tropes for kim and jean: the fanworks about a game that asks a question about failure and questioning certainty become stories about inevitability.

jean's vitriol in the game comes from the same place as harry's self loathing: a visceral response to decades of failure. they're not objective truths (i'm thinking about the mirror reveal being intended as a way to make the viewer realize harry isn't a reliable narrator at all, but especially about himself: you see a regular guy, conventionally handsome but clearly in pain and growing old and sick. he calls himself horrible shit, however).

playing up jean's part as the Bridge is comfortable because it allows the player to separate Harry's failures from their agency as a player (something that greatly drives the point of the game home, emotionally speaking -- you're not that different from Harry. Harry's not that different from anyone else he meets. the irreversible failures exist for all of us, as do the chances to try again.) if jean is right in resenting harry, and moreover, he's objectively describing harry's behavior, harry's failures become logical and inevitable consequences of his Way of Being. if Harry calls kim a slur, or threatens children, or scares civilians, that's just because that's how Harry is (according to Jean and Harry's own brain), so the possibility that one of your tries might be meaningfully good becomes... less weighty. it's a fluke, and you'll fail again, so don't get your hopes up. it's almost an excuse to believe that there's nothing new under the sun and going back to old habits is inevitable, but the conclusion becomes "so nothing i do really matters" instead of "it's hard and painful to try again when you've failed so many times before. what does this say about the person who tries?". and in that way jean is an interesting character because understanding why he resents harry for being able to try more freely than him without the weight of memory is important to the theme. what has to click to start climbing out of the grave? can anyone do it? will i ever do it? why now, and why not when i tried to pull him out?

and similarly, when we write about kim, we have to confront what makes him who he is and not another generic character to write, and the fact of the matter is that being a cop, being visibly of seolite heritage, having PTSD, having a visual impairment on record that interferes with his cophood, his cophood being the only identity he appears to have had a choice over, how he treats harry because he's a cop vs. other harry parallels who aren't, how he treats harry whether harry respects him or not... they're important. and trans kim could be a way to approach these themes but it's currently existing in a vacuum of authorial catharsis, and the refusal to address the real politics that give emotional weight to disco elysium is becoming a worrying, overwhelming trend. i urge you all to think about these things a little.

[missninapea]

Dear people in the gomens community, Just remember that you will be okay. We will be okay.

The Good Omens fandom is very comforting and we support each other. And the show, the book, and the fandom brings me comfort and joy. I know this is a tough time for us, but I just wanna say that we're all struggling and you're not alone. Whatever you're feeling is valid.

Keep enjoying yourself what makes you happy.

Keep drawing fan art.

Keep on writing fanfictions.

Keep making fan merchandise.

Keep doing whatever you're doing. You're doing great. :)

Please don't give up. Hang in there..❤️‍🩹

[iliothermia]

After some space to think and calm down, I've come to accept some on here are legitimately oblivious to their antisemitism. I got some messages from very caring people and some pointed out gaslighting that's been happening to me and it meant a lot to me to feel affirmed. I don't like using the word antisemite to anyone directly because I think it makes people defensive and resistant to growing. Growing up, most people have had to realize one way or another that racist thoughts or actions were conditioned into them by society around us and grow out of some line of ignorant thought. Same thing goes for antisemitism.

I've heard more than once "You can thank Zionists for how people treated you". I don't agree with shirking the responsibility of specific ignorant incidents onto an outside party. The person who was antisemitic to me did that, no one else and it's not excusable. Anyway I'll be back slowly, thank you to all who checked in on me.

[akemiiya]

i think clover is equally as tight lipped about their past as flowey is. i think those two would have spent so much time together that they intimately know each other's likes and dislikes, do's and dont's, which buttons can be pushed and which can't. yet when it comes to each other's backstory, all that comes up is a blank

[thefrogdalorian]

A little love letter to Din Djarin writers... 🤍

I love that some of you write him as soft and gentle while others focus on the darker, harsher parts of his personality. I love that he can be both a quiet, kind man caring for his child or an intimidating, terrifying bounty hunter who is a lean, mean killing machine... depending on what the fic warrants.

I love how you write him with other characters from The Mandalorian or even with those who would never cross paths with him in canon, from Star Wars or elsewhere. I love how you write him interacting with yourselves and us, and some of you even create your own original characters to exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away alongside him.

I love that some of you ship him with that one other special person, while others recognise how desirable he is and ship alllllll the ships. Not forgetting those of you which are here for none of those ships and/or even headcanon him as ace. I love that any of those options allow you to explore your own identities and sexualities through him.

I love that you can write the most tooth-rotting fluff or filthiest smut, and all of those things in between. Whether it's for general audiences or explicit and strictly 18+ ... all of your fics have an audience and someone out there who appreciates your writing.

I love how differently you can interpret him, but there are also so many common themes and tropes running through your writing. I love that there is room for all of your Dins here.

I love that he means so much to you and that all of us here hold him in our hearts a little bit. I love that we can all watch the same episodes and come to entirely different conclusions about him. I love how much we love him.

Getting to be a part of this wonderful community and interact with so many people who love the space tin can man as much as I do has truly been one of the best things that happened to me recently. I'm so glad I made this little blog... It reminded me just how good fandom can be. I am blown away by the number of talented people here!

So, I just wanted to take a moment to express some gratitude towards all of you! Thank you for writing your Dins and please don't ever stop. Finally.... last, but not least:

I love Din Djarin!!!

[millidew]

sometimes a family is you, your girlfriend, her husband who's also your boyfriend, your mutual son and his electric rat, a mr. mime, and a baby

[cherrycurlsvanillapearls]

My roommate is humming some melody to himself and I can hear him through the wall. I get to fall asleep to this safe, joyful, calm sound every night and in exchange, I wake him up with my own music.

He is better at reading Hebrew than I am, and we sit often together to read a page together, of the autobiography my grandmother sent me on Google docs. It is too much for me to read alone, but he sits and listens to me try, and he reads to me when I get tired.

We sit and study in the living room together, me doing my homework, him designing a synth for fun. He gifted me a shirt from his mother's charity and I wear it with pride. He taught me to cook a soup and we ate it together on the porch.

Sometimes, I get out of the shower, and hear him fiddling around on the piano in the living room. It's a wonderful thing.

There is no point to this post. No romance, I promise. I'm just soothed and calm and happy to have such a lovely roommate.

[thewardenisonthecase]

btw tw for talking about abuse

I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)

And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.

It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.

Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.

But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.

It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.

She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.

All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.

[mikimeiko]

The Gentlemen | Season 1 (2024), Guy Ritchie

[screwpinecaprice]

Reposting a connverse I made in 2021. Well, specifically posting this again after editing a few stuff.

I had been so bothered with how I kept editing Steven until I made his silhouette floppy-looking. So I fixed it a bit.

And that this was suppose to be flipped in the first place (which was why Connie's nose piercing was on the right side on the original.)

[iteratorsex]

An analysis on Pebbles's writing from the Garbage Wastes pearl

I've never seen people talk about the GW pearl, likely because people regarded it as meaningless technobabble, but I do think there is meaning behind what Pebbles attempts to say, and what that could also infer about the landscape of Iterator discussions

This is written in internal thought, so it may not be entirely accurate, as Moon is doing her best to try and translate it

"...considering the eight and the twenty sixth amendments to the Capricious Dogma, we are apparently supposed to take for granted that a meaning collector point inversion is the only way to approach what has later become referred to as 'noise milking' (or occasionally 'rock swatting'). I will argue my disagreement with this, not in regards to kind but in regards to..."

The Capricious Dogma is something mentioned, and considering its capitalized and Pebbles talks about amendments made to it it might be a real thing.

Whether it's something made by the ancients or agreed upon by iterators isn't clear

The definition of Capricious: "Governed or characterized by caprice; apt to change suddenly; freakish; whimsical; changeable." The definition of Dogma: "A principle or statement of ideas, or a group of such principles or statements, especially when considered to be authoritative or accepted uncritically."

So either the dogma is a set of principles regarding sudden changes in... something or whether the dogma itself constantly changes is also not clear, but it may be the former

This is also meant to be a methodology for global ascension. I do not think that it's referring to the mass public ascension the ancients did before they left, but rather methodology on what should be done AFTER the solution is found, and how it can be implemented to ascend everything

Back to the Capricious Dogma though, Pebbles then goes on to say how we "take for granted" how a "meaning collector point inversion" is the only way to go about noise milking or rock swatting

Noise milking/rock swatting may be a concept related to global ascension, but not the solution itself

He doesn't criticize these ideas, but rather the idea that there's only one way to go about them

Whatever the hell a "meaning collector point inversion" is though I don't know

[daeva-agas]

Casually lurking in Sailor Moon fandom and when I see posts mentioning the Shitennou's knightly titles, I think the translation are off. I don't know if those are just fansubs being wonky, or if even the official ones are not entirely correct...

I've also seen some posts say that "I don't understand what these means". The knightly titles are based on the image and properties associated with each gemstone in Japanese (so, if it has different meanings internationally, it's quite beside the point).

Jadeite: Knight of Resilience 忍耐 and Harmony 調和

忍耐 is often translated as "Patience" in fanworks. 忍耐 is better translated as "resilience", "perseverance", or "endurance". Even when colloquially used to say "be patient", the connotation of it is more along the lines of "endure this". The Harmony one is correct.

"Resilience" is because jadeite jade is the harder jade. "Harmony" because of its traditional usage in spiritual matters, so jade in general has the image of "peacefulness".

Nephrite: Knight of Wisdom 知恵 and Peace 安らぎ

This one makes me kind of laugh because of what Nephrite is like as a character/person. I almost always see 知恵 translated as "Intelligence". It's not wrong per se, but this term here refers to something deeper than just brain smarts, thus "wisdom". Things like wisdom that come from age, or innate perceptiveness, and so on.

安らぎ is peace, as in "inner peace". Basically, "serenity", though it's probably not a good idea to use this word in Sailor Moon for obvious reasons.

Nephrite being the native jade of China, it has been given very sagely meaning to it that persist even in Japanese symbolism. That's why it's like this, for somewhat similar reasons to jadeite's "harmony".

Kunzite: Knight of Virtue 純潔 and Benevolence 慈愛

純潔 can also mean Purity or Chastity. 慈愛 is sometimes translated as Affection, which is also not entirely wrong. It's just that the standard meaning is benevolence or mercy. "Affection" tends to be used in the context of parents and children. In this context probably not the best meaning to use.

This gemstone is associated with the Holy Mother Mary, of all things, that's why it's got very saintly imagery associated with it.

Zoisite: Knight of Purification 浄化 and Healing 癒し

The most straightforward one so I've never seen any wonky translation with this one. Those who are into healing crystals might already know this, but this title is based on the healing and purification qualities that a blue zoisite/tanzanite supposedly have.

[commsroom]

I just want to say that all your eiffera commissions are carrying the eiffera fans and w359 fans in general I imagine. So much lovely art that we can all enjoy because of you (and the artists obv). Thank you, I want you to know that people appreciate this so much!!

oh, thank you!! of course, all of the credit here belongs to the artists; i've been lucky enough to find some very kind and talented people to work with. it's a little embarrassing how much i prioritize this, but seeing my favorite characters drawn by some of my favorite artists is the best motivator i have right now, and it's nice that it's something i can share with other people. ♡

[thegreatyin]

honestly part of the reason i've been really looking forward to finally playing light fingers (aside from the obvious horrors and whatnot) is because it, alongside bag a legend, contains a Choice™ i to this day am Extremely Torn About Making. like i've known for ages that the Choice™ exists in this ambition and STILL i am undecided about it. this Choice™ is of course. well. let's just say that by the time this ambition ends, caeru may not be the only catboy around town

[uncanny-tranny]

The whole "humans are inherently awful and bad!" spiel is so tiring to me as a survivor of abuse because it comes off as abuse apologia. If humans are inherently awful, then why should it matter if you're abused - that's what humans do best! Like, genuinely, I think this mindset can harm abuse victims/survivors because they're being inundated with this idea that, well, how bad can their abuser be? All humans are horrific, why complain, why escape, and why try to resist it?

I really wish people would critically analyze where these ideas come from and where these lines of thinking can lead. Maybe it's a matter that I'm looking too deep into, but this very bleak ideology is not going to help in the long run, I think, and some of the first people who are going to be crushed by it are the people who are vulnerable or who are put in vulnerable positions in society.