#i don't want to be afraid to wear a mask or be myself in public

[laurelindebear]

Oh I'm not really ok today I guess

[sunanthrope]

Asshole-proofing yourself: Dogpunk edition

Edit: hey! A lot of people like this post! So I wanted to add in where I coined the term Dogpunk

i attach my tails to stretchy/coil hair ties so if it gets pulled, it won't snap, the tie will just stretch. sometimes the tie itself will get too stretched out, but it's easy enough to replace. make sure it's stretchy enough that it won't go slack and break your tail anyway

spiked collars. so serious. if people try and grab your neck/collar they'll get poked. Breakaway collars might not be such a bad idea either, but admittedly i hate how they look so i usually just go with a buckle lol

when i was younger and just getting into the punk scene (maybe 12 or 13) i got a pair of combat boots and had my dad (also a punk) to put holes in the toe and superglue in 4 heavy duty spikes on each boot. then i painted them to look like dog toe boots, the kind that you see on pinterest. They were against my school dress code, but i wore them on walks through my redneck ass town to keep myself safe, and the spikes looked like claws. super cool imo way to go 12 year old me

if you go masking, doing quads, or even gearing in public, please for the love of fuck don't go into sketchy areas alone, and make sure at least one of your friends knows if you're going out. plus faking a phone call has saved my life before

continued >>

if you aren't safe, don't wear it/do it. i promise being safe but looking like a 'normie' is better than getting your ass kicked because you're wearing a tail

find friends! seriously, there are probably others in your area. just sitting in my summer school class, i met a cat therian who was doing over her math class who sat with me at lunch. if you're wearing stuff, people will strike up a conversation. don't be afraid to chat with people! the buddy system has also saved my life!

[lapeaudelamemoire]

(G-d I hate typing on my phone but I need to talk about this and my husband is asleep next to me pt II:)

depressed because man idk December is depressing. It's the end of the year and suddenly that means obligations and the time snapping like a rubberband when the elastic is old and starting to tear slowly in one place, stretching at first in the early days and then cut short at the end and you know it's coming.

but that's an excuse. depressed because i'm looking for a fucking psych internship next year and the paid options the college i'm at are offering are fuck-all, and the going's slow, and i'm mad. the cost of things is going up everywhere and this is serious fucking work, difficult and draining everyone agrees and acknowledges, and yet they don't want to fucking pay you, for an entire year. what an absolute fucking joke. and i saw someone from sg post about how a $50 basket of groceries is barely fucking anything these days and i don't want my dad to keep paying these ridiculous international student fees. and i'm stressed, and i'm tired, and i just want to find a way to fucking live, g-ddamn.

and depressed because my honours thesis going unpublished because i haven't had the mental space to work on it while doing masters full-time (i can't do anything but, As An International Student) this year, but i feel like i owe it to the participants and those who are still affected by covid to do it, and because these interviews I've been doing none of the people are wearing masks. (my thesis was a qualitative study on the lived experiences of immunocompromised folks after COVID public health restrictions were lifted in Naarm ['Melbourne'].) and i feel like i should work on it and it's still important but i'm afraid it's too late now and the 'time's passed' for it or whatever but the guilt. it also didn't get worked on because i don't trust my thesis supervisor and when i asked to speak about it to the honours coordinators this year they gave me platitudes and didn't address it properly but apparently trying to publish without your supervisor when you've never published before is like, doesn't look good or whatever, but i don't know anyone else to ask or who else to go to for advice so it's just been left off; but really that in itself makes me feel fucking lost and alone in this guilt sauce and marinating. and i know this is whining and i should just get myself to do it and see what happens but fuck.

i just. feel so fucking bottlenecked. and i know i'm avoiding it by allowing myself to be paralysed by fear and whatnot instead of taking control and actually doing something about it but - ugh.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Where did the majority of your clothes come from? Boxlunch, Hot Topic, Kohl's.

Have you ever attempted to sculpt something from ice? Pfft, no.

What's so amazing about Shark Week? Nothing to me, it's not my thing.

Do you wear sunglasses in the winter? You should. I don't wear sunglasses-ever.

Have you ever had to wear an oxygen mask? Yeah, during my hospital stays. I had to wear one during my recent stay.

Do you have a dreamcatcher? No.

Is there someone you ALWAYS bump heads with? Yes.

What's your favorite thing you own that YOU made? I had some fun with painting on canvas a few months ago and I actually think it came out cute.

Have you ever starved yourself? Yes.

What do you spend all of your money on? Damn Temu takes all my money.

Do you like Robot Chicken? I didn't watch it regularly or really watch it at all, I just would catch parts of it here and there sometimes. Admittedly, some of what I saw was kinda funny.

What movie character would you like to be a part of your family? Uhhh.

What's the last thing you were an audience of? I think it was when I saw The Phantom of the Opera back in 2019.

Has anyone ever had to physically restrain you from doing something? Only when I was in the hospital and I tried grabbing at my breathing tube.

Do you raise your voice when you get angry? Somewhat. I'm not a loud person so even raising my voice still isn't that loud.

Do you like the pretzel M&Ms? Bleh, no.

Have you ever been accused of thinking you're too good for something? I don't think I'm too good for anything.

Do your scars tell sad or happy stories? I don't have any scar that I consider "good" or remind me of something happy.

Have you ever walked straight into a wall/door? Yeah, I'm an idiot.

Have you ever been embarrassed to have a crush on someone? No.

Is there anything you're trying to move on from? I live in the past and have a hard time of letting go of things.

Have you ever stolen someone's boyfriend? No.

Are you careful with your words? Yes.

Do you have a locket? What's the picture inside of it? I don't, but that's cute I want one now.

Describe the most interesting vehicle you've ever seen. *shrug*

Would you be afraid to take a public bus anywhere? I used to take the public bus when I was in college sometimes.

Have you ever given anything to someone who is homeless? Yeah.

What are you feeling, right now? Tired, bored, meh.

How do you react when you feel embarrassed about something? .I laugh awkwardly and try to play it off, but truly my face is burning hot and I'm dying on the inside kicking myself for whatever I've done. Oh, and I relive it forever.

Have you ever tried to 'fix' someone? You can't. I can't even fix myself and I need a lot of work.

What's in your copy and paste? This survey.

How many stuffed animals do you own, and what are they? I'm not gonna attempt to count, but it' a lot.

When's the last time you were carried by someone? .A few days ago.

Have you ever accidentally taken a shower with like your underwear left on, or something? No.

Can you twirl things well? Uhhh, I can twirl noodles?

Do you have bangs? No. I kinda want to get them.

Have you ever seen someone who wore a real eyepatch? I don't think so.

What started the last 'cat-fight' you were involved in? I haven't been involved in a cat fight.

Would you agree that it's extremely disrespectful to 'test' someone in a relationship? I don't like playing those games.

Do you go all out on dressing up for pep-rallies and the like? No, I didn't. I think I just wore my class shirt.

What's in your locker? .--

Are you in possession of any currency that isn't used in your country? Yes, it was a gift.

Did anyone witness your last kiss? .Probably.

Do you remember Hamtaro? Nope.

What about Peewee Hermin? Of course. .

Who is the last person you licked? Ew, I don't lick anyone.

Has anyone ever licked your face? Noooo.

Do you have any younger siblings? I have a younger brother.

Are you cool with them, or do they annoy you to no end? He and I are super close.

Do you know anyone with a kind of creepy smile? Uhhh, no.

Anyone with Bieber Fever? >> is that even still a thing <<< Right? They've been cured.

Have you tried Cupcake Pebbles cereal? No.

What's your favorite ride at an amusement park? Most of Disneyland's rides.

Last person you flipped off? That's not something I do.

Have you ever been on TV? Yes.

Are you currently distancing yourself from anyone? I already did that from so many people. :/

Trying to get close to anyone? No.

Anyone who's way over protective of you? Not way over, but a healthy amount.

Do you like dubstep? No.

Have you ever been to a rave? I have no interest in ever going to one.

Have you any friends that are twins? Nope.

[liminalweirdo]

"It makes a better world for everyone if we take care of everyone."

video transcript behind the cut

John Yang:The pace of U.S. COVID-19 fatalities has slowed significantly. The nationwide death toll stands at more than 1 million people. With precautions like mandatory masking, social distancing, and isolation no longer in place, it can seem as if worries about the virus are gone as well. But for many people with disabilities, the threat is still very real. We asked people in the disability community to tell us about their concerns about this new normal.

Naomi Ben-Porath:Naomi Ben-Porath. I'm 26 years old. I live in Lowell, Massachusetts. I have POTS, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. I would say that the changes in the COVID policies have definitely made me a lot more nervous to be out and about.

Ngozi Alston:My name is Ngozi Alston. I have scleroderma, which is an autoimmune condition. There's just so much erasure that exists, right? Like, we are not part of public spaces. We're not part of mass movement. We can't be. They're not safe.

Jermaine Greaves:My name is Jermaine Greaves. My different disabilities are cerebral palsy. That is a neurological condition that affects the brain and the muscle. My second disability is hidradenitis suppurativa. That is a chronic skin condition. I'm just afraid of getting sick and not being able to, like, get through it, you know, that's a real concern for me.

John Ross:My name is John Ross. I am a 71-year old widower with chronic lymphocytic leukemia. I don't go to restaurants. I don't go into inside places.

Julie Lam:My name is Julie Lam. I am immunocompromised. I have chronic kidney disease.

Terri Hudson:My name is Terri Hudson. I live in Chicago, Illinois. I was born with spina bifida.

Natalie Lampros:My name is Natalie Lampros. I am 28 years old. My current disabilities are, I have a traumatic brain injury, asthma, and then endometriosis. There's still doctors that I have not seen in over a year because it would require me to take off my mask for the test.

Ngozi Alston:The burden is constantly on me as the disabled person, having to ask and advocate for myself, even trying to hang out with friends or people want to come see me, but aren't willing to, like, take the level of precautions that I need them to.

Natalie Lampros:A lot of grief, depression, and feeling very disconnected from our culture essentially.

Naomi Ben-Porath:For many of us, we don't have the luxury to think that COVID, as a public health situation, is past us. And so it's been very isolating seeing the national discourse turn in that way.

Julie Lam:My social life has shrunk to zero. I cannot attend parties. I cannot hang out with friends like what I used to. It used to be like, we are in this together. Now, no, you do you. You're on your own. You look after yourself.

John Ross:I'm thrilled that people are able to get back to their lives and do the things that we all love to do. But at the same time, we need to also recognize that life is precious. And we may not be out of the woods completely, even though it seems that way.

Jermaine Greaves:The person next to you, you don't know what chronic condition you don't have. You don't know what sickness they're carrying around. You giving them COVID could be literally life or death. So I would implore people to think about community when they wear a mask instead of thinking about themselves.

Terri Hudson:We should be doing everything we can societally, all of us, to take care of all of us, because there's really nothing that disabled people ask for as far as accommodation and help that doesn't also benefit nondisabled people ultimately. It makes a better world for everyone if we take care of everyone.

[limiteddefinitives]

Starting anew

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains...

I am struggling with the existentialism that my 26th year has brought me. For the first time I feel as though I am truly disillusioned by the mounting darkness that I cannot appreciate the invariable goodness this world offers. I am deeply disappointed in the reality I find myself in as an adult. This was not what I imagined when I day dreamed of growing older. I expected greater organized collaboration and competency among fellow adults. I don't know why.

I am not a teenager anymore yet I don't feel all that different inside. I understand many, if not most adults share this perception. I am constantly afraid of the future, growing older and what that will mean for me. I feel as though I was cheated out of certain life experiences and milestones since the damn virus wrecked this world. I am often mourning who I would be if that had never taken place or if we were at least collectively building strong virus mitigation infrastructure. Surely I would be a more capable, self assured woman with deeper friendships and always in line with my purpose. But like imagining who I would be if my father had never died, I know this is a hollow, mind spinning exercise.

I am constantly searching for a system to tell me how to function in all circumstances despite wanting free will. I am confused. I used to have a system of righteous social justice to guide me. I maintain pieces of that but I have witnessed enough to understand that individual rigidity, judgement and punishment are futile. I think I am lost because I'm lacking a sense of belonging to a larger community outside of my work. And I've known long before starting this career that your work can never love you back.

I am in a much better position than most people my age - I can afford my cost of living with no debt and I'm able to put away some savings. I try not to take this for granted. I always tip and share with my friends and family by unconditionally giving them money directly or buying them things that they need or want. I also occasionally donate to personal fundraisers and grassroots organizations.

I am often ruled by the distress that I will be reinfected with covid and consequently permanently disabled. This is now more in the realm of possibility than not with the way my society has abandoned collective precautions and as public health becomes increasingly individualized. I know this virus did fuck something up inside my body because my lingering symptoms include Raynaud's in my feet and a sore neck that cannot seem to hold my head up for extended periods of time. I wear my well fitted mask when possible, I always feel more comfortable and assured when I wear it. I feel safer when I witness another person/people in vicinity also wearing a mask. I am learning how to tune out the projected reactions and misunderstandings from the people who see me covering my nose and mouth. Most people are misinformed, in denial or cannot bear to break social norms alone. It amazes me how much stress is alleviated when I am in public with a friend who is masking too. The two of us grounded in reality and not denial! I am confused as to when I will be able to get an updated covid vaccine. Since 2021 I have received 5 MRNA Pfizer vaccines. The two primary series doses, two boosters and one bivalent vaccine. The last time I was vaccinated was January 2023 and I am getting anxious that the protection has completely waned. This fall I will try to get a Novavax dose because researched and anecdotal evidence demonstrate that this is the only vaccine that can prevent virus transmission, after 3 doses. Additionally, people with long covid report some symptom resolve or relief after receiving Novavax.

I worry about the levels of illness in our world population by 2030; after ten years of international covid spread and multiple asymptomatic infections undetected. I worry about the social disease of misinformation and the crumbling relational networks of basic trust and safety. I fear we will become more cruel and apathetic towards each other individually and institutionally.

There is hope. Strikes and workers rights are back on the table. Workers are banding together and demanding more pay, benefits and rethinking workplace expectations. Working from home is a huge gain for various workers. We are also fighting to solidify expansive gender identities as a natural part of human diversity. I have faith that we will win this, we have already won a degree of gay acceptance. It will take a few years of fighting and resistance but we will succeed. Neurodiversity is also being more widely recognized, named and accommodated for especially in populations that have/are historically been pathologized based on race and gender, myself included. White people are reckoning with our legacies of oppression, and the privileges that it unfairly bestows us. Indigenous peoples are healing together, decolonizing and demanding for justice and land reparations. All of the above must continue. I would like us to also pay attention to and work to address our human right to personal data privacy on the internet, and increasingly recognize and respect the rights of children as autonomous human beings.

Within the next couple of years, I will continue to work on developing, launching and maintaining the period pantry and earning my sexual health educator certificate. I also want to find a community to be a part of, I want to deepen my friendships, I want to stay connected with my sisters and my other aging family members.

I am stereotypical Barbie, and like her I must not lay down and give up. Doing it alone will always be too overwhelming, I need relationships with others if I want to accomplish anything.

XO

Kari from the future (present)

[letsabandonthisworld]

Why Do You Stay?

i started watching the devil judge and kept asking myself why kim ga-on is staying at kang yo-han's house even after he gets better. it didn't let me go and so i wrote this and it got away from me oops. anyways here you go: kind of a character study on kim ga-on.

he is your boss. he is someone you were sent to spy on. you are always budding heads, on different sides, never ending arguments. you can't place him, he is escaping your grip. you see the person he is portraying to the public, another one to his colleagues and another one to you. but you want to know what's behind the mask, you want to expose him, find the skeletons he keeps locked away in his closet, the blood on his hands.

because you are sure there is some. and if you weren't sure before, you are now when he nearly shoots a man without batting an eye and when he smashes someone's car and when he is sentencing someone to be flogged on live television.

but there is something else that pulls you to him. you want to understand how he thinks, what drives him. and so you talk, you seek out his company, his opinions, his secrets.

until you are standing in his office late at night and he has you under his thumb. he caught you, he knows what you're doing. but you are not scared and you know he is not surprised. you ask him how he could be so cruel and he is lying to your face and you hate him. so then why do you jump in front of him when you hear the ticking noise? why do you cover him with your own body when the explosion hits and you feel the glass cutting into your skin? why do you not regret a single thing even if you were to die here? and why does he carry you outside to safety?

it's nothing.

anyone would do the same.

but when you wake up he is there beside you. he gives you a warm bed to sleep on and treats your wounds oh so gently and suddenly you find yourself doubting the image you had of him in your mind. because now he is wearing pajamas and his hair is in his face and he is asking you questions and touching your skin and he is smiling.

and you are in this empty house that is filled with nothing but memories and you are slowly painting a new picture of him. a picture that is sadder than you ever thought it'd be. a picture of a lonely boy who grew up hated by his own father because he was afraid of him. he saw himself in this child and couldn't bear it. so he ignored him and when that did not work, he beat him.

and you are standing in his room, cold and dark, in the basement, and you are holding a picture of his brother in your hands. his brother that is wearing your face. and you don't know how to feel about that but you don't like the idea of him looking at you and seeing someone else.

and you wonder why he let's you stay, why he let's you see this part of himself, why he is letting you into his world.

but then you are hearing these stories about him - about a deranged and twisted child - about his acts of hatred and anger. and again a new picture begins to take form. this time a cruel picture, of someone heartless and unrecognizable. so you start digging into those stories. you need to know the truth. you need to know if he is truly a monster like you've been told.

and you confront him. and yes he gets angry and he hurts you but he also starts crying. he opens up to you and tells you his secrets. the stories he has kept hidden and the sorrows he has dealt with on his own. and you feel closer to him.

and then he is taking you to an event, to meet people with you by his side. and he is giving you a suit and a watch and suddenly you can't meet his eyes and you can't undress in front of him. your skin feels warm and his gaze has a weight to it that wasn't there before. and you drive his car and he holds your waist and you realise you like being on display like this if it is next to him. you like the stares and the whispers and you like feeling powerful. but then he changes again and you see his mask of insanity slip back. he laughs at people and he scolds you and he almost kills you both on the way home because you would not answer him.

and you ask yourself why he lets you stay, why you haven't left yet.

but you started bonding with his niece who is actually incredibly smart and witty and it saddens you how much of him you see in her. how she grew up to hate him and yet they are so alike. and you started playing with the weird old street cat that keeps wandering around the house. he brought her in, you learn, and it startles you but somehow you are not surprised. that he would see this cat and pick her up, give her a place to stay and keep her belly full even though he pretends he doesn't care - you try not to think of the apparent parallel to your own situation. and you think maybe he brought her in not only as a companion for his niece but maybe for himself too.

because you realise deep down he is simply lonely. you look at him and see yourself reflected. you know the loneliness, the hate, the anger. and so you keep looking at him, noting every detail, every interaction, every new information. it's for work, you tell yourself, you are supposed to figure out who he is.

but then sometimes you make him dinner because he doesn't sleep well. and he only ever eats by himself and he never cooks and he really should take better care of himself. and maybe next time you could eat together.

next time?

why are you still here? your wounds have healed and you are back to work.

why hasn't he asked you to leave yet?

but you are still looking for answers and that is the reason you stay. because here in this house you can search for more and you can talk to people who know him. and didn't someone say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer? because that's what you are, enemies, right? at least that's how it started. but you've begun to hope that you might be on the same side. you started caring about his opinions, you tested his limits because you don't want to cross them again, you choose your words carefully this time because you don't want to hurt him again.

you've started awaiting his arrival home. you don't know when it happened but at some point you aren't able to sleep before he comes back home. you need to know that he is here with you, that he is safe.

at one point you started calling this house your home.

at one point you decided to stay and he never asked why. because then you would ask why he let you stay.

and maybe you are both not ready to hear the answer.

[myragewillendworlds]

I don't particularly care about Pride parades that much myself, but the arguments you see people make against kink/BDSM/leather communities marching along at Pride are, in fact, the exact same arguments conservatives make against LGBT communities.

"Pride should be family-friendly." Define family-friendly. Because by a whole lot of people's definitions, that means no LGBT people either.

"Think of the children! No child should be exposed to these gross sexual deviants." Christian conservatives would readily agree with you and stop Pride parades altogether.

"Pride should be about celebrating different sexualities, not sexual deviancy." I'd love to know how you define the difference and where the line lies, and which "different sexualities" are acceptable according to your standards.

"It'll make LGBT people look like a bunch of pedophiles." The easiest way to make people fear a community: make them out to be pedophiles. Like how conservatives make gay men out to be pedophiles.

"I do not consent to being exposed to their lifestyle." I'm sure one of them has a spare blindfold for you.

"I don't want to see a bunch of people doing gross sex stuff in public." People say the same about gay men holding hands. It's no more sexual to wear a leather outfit or a dog mask at a march for embracing sexual diversity and fighting for equal rights. Making it out to be "gross sex stuff" is just like making homosexuality out to be about "gross butt stuff."

"Yeah but kink is different because of [ignorant personal opinion that boils down to 'it's gross']." It's not different at all. You can hold people to a general code of conduct, e.g. no public nudity or public sexual acts, but I'm pretty sure that's just the law anyway. I'd expect "kink at Pride" to mean little more than a group of people in leather & latex costumes holding up signs as they march along. Just a community marching for acceptance and tolerance.

What people are really saying is that they're ashamed or afraid to see their community potentially conflated with a socially unaccepted alternative sexuality, so they'd rather throw them under the bus and celebrate the societal strides their own community has made. It seems they must've forgotten it wasn't always like that for those communities either.

Perhaps what really doesn't belong at Pride is the inability to tolerate people who are different from yourself.

[ethanharli]

Requested: Nah.

Pairing(s): Asra x Top Male Reader

Warning(s): Some Angst, Flashbacks, Mentions of heartbreak, Sudden confession, Cliffhanger, Long, Sister Nadia.

A/n- I brought this over from my Wattpad, and I edited it a bit but this is the longest One-Shot I've ever made, just fifty words away from three thousand :")).

_______________

A frustrated groan slipped past my lips as I fumbled with the sleeves of my costume, it may sound silly but its true. I refuse to wear anything that could reveal my torso, besides my face of course but that's only because its not covered in ink. Now don't get me wrong, the art adoring my body is nothing but beautiful, yet some of its a bit much for the public eye, and I hate attention. Guess Muriel and I are the same in that regard. After adjusting the sleeves I slipped on my rings and emerald necklace that clung tightly around my throat, which didn't bother me in the slightest bit as I drag my pierced tongue over my bottom lip. Finishing up with a few things I quickly locked up my house and headed on my way to the palace, Nadia had invited me over for the Masquerade this year since the last one ended with Lucio and the Devil trying to take over.

I really have to admire that apprentice, their magic is quiet fascinating. With a small smirk I slipped on my wolfs mask, nothing original but the black and vibrant neon of purple and green helping it stand out, even if only by the slightest. The journey to the palace was quite fun, watching people light up fireworks and drink to their hearts content without a worry in the world. Yet it was a whole new world once I entered the palace gates, making my way towards the ball room in hopes to run into my sister, but Nadia is nowhere to be found. "Should've expected as much, she is the Countess after all" I muttered with a proud smile, if only my familiar where here to keep me company but sadly having a grey wolf in this crowd isn't such a good idea, poor thing would be trampled despite her large size.

Taking a glass of wine I sipped it slowly, enjoying the bubbly feeling of it going down my throat. Yet a slither around my ankle caught my attention, and I froze at the sight of a familiar snake, looking up at me with their cute tilted head. "Friend!" Faust cheered, happily slithering up my body to rest on my shoulders, "Yes Faust, it's good to see you again" A pained smile forced at my lips, scratching softly under Faust's chin. If Faust's here then Asra and his apprentice must be close by, I should've expected as much. "Miss you" My heart tightened at the words, forcing the breath out my lungs painfully, and here I thought I could enjoy the Masquerade without running into anyone else, but I guess even an over packed Masquerade can't hide me from them. "I missed you too Faust-" My words were cut off by a familiar voice, merely a couple feet behind me, yelling for the beautiful creature wrapped around my shoulders.

"Im sorry Faust but I really should be leaving, please don't tell Asra I was here alright?" I asked as worry started to pool in the pit of my stomach, however Faust simply tilted her head, watching me curiously. Nevertheless I made a slow pace to the exit, not wanting to rise any sort of suspicion as Asra yells a bit louder. And there he is, my savior. Putting on a small smile I took a drink from a waiters tray, walking up to Julian without seeming any bit out of place, then once the right moment hit I brushed my shoulder against his and shrugged Faust onto him, not once turning back to look at them. However I knew I wasn't out in the clear just yet since a pair of eyes followed me as I left the room.

Being out in the hall felt a lot better then being so close to him. Especially when I'm not ready to face him just yet, hell I don't even think I have the power to look at him without freezing up, how stupid of me to think I could come back here. "[Y/n]?" The sound of Nadia's voice finally got me to relax a bit, letting the tension in my shoulders drop, "Hey Sis, it's been a while" I smiled down at her, watching as her eyes soften before pulling me into a tight embrace that I gladly returned. "Where'd you go? You told me that you were going to talk to Asra after what happened with Lucio and the Devil but it was only him that came back, he said he didn't know where you ran off to and when I tried to ask what happened he'd never answer!" Her crimson eyes glare up at me as they slowly fill with tears that I quickly brushed away.

"Its okay Nadi, Im back now and I plan to stay, I missed my little sister way to much to be gone for so long" I chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood even only for a second, before she looks at my costume with not very well hidden disgust. "You've really never had an eye for fashion have you?" She sighs, taking my hand and dragging me down the hall where Portia was standing. Once her eyes met mine her face lit up in realization, "[Y/n]! You're back!" She jumped up to hug me, which I returned with a ruffle of her long hair.

"Portia could you please get my dear brother to one of the guest rooms so he can change?" Nadi smiled and Portia couldn't have answered any happier, "Yes milady! Now c'mon [Y/n] lets get you a new costume!" She cheered, dragging me away by the sleeve of my shirt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this wasn't going to end well, and by the time I was pushed in the room with a new set of clothing I knew I was right. The clothing was way to revealing for my liking, even though the color and fabric made me look elegant and right at home. The top exposed my arms and most of my chest, the 'V' stopping right above my waist which the pants hugged tightly, yet the rest of it was baggy except the bottom of it, which also hugged my ankles nicely.

But my tattoos and scars were out in the open. The skulls, flowers, and chains that decorate my body glowed a faint blue color, as if cheering that they were finally free from my always concealed clothing.

I didn't want to wear it, every part of my mind was screaming to tear it off but I couldn't. My sister picked this out for me and this is her party, I'll do it for her if not for myself. Sliding my mask back on I headed out the room, looking down at Portia with a nervous smile as she stared at the art in wonder, "I never knew you had these!" She pouted, looking as If I had betrayed her somehow. I could only reached out and pat her head, trying to ignore the eyes that locked onto me, "Im not very fond of them, so I always hid them, Im sorry for not telling you sooner." She merely rolled her eyes and smiled at me before realization yet again broke on her face, "I need to go tell the rest you're here! Stay put!" My eyes widened as I tried to stop her, but she was already out of reach before I could, and the slithery presence was back at my feet.

"Friend!"

Fucking hell.

At that moment I felt the fight to run away slowly drain from me, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, no matter how hard I tried. Even so, with what resistance was left in me I headed towards the garden with Faust resting peacefully on my shoulders, and stayed put by the fountain, letting my eyes flutter shut for a mere moment.

_____

My palms started to sweat as I looked down into those mesmerizing lavender eyes that watched me with an amused glint, "Asra I-" The words got caught in my throat for the millionth time now, and even I was getting impatient with myself. But can you blame me? Asra looked so majestic under the moonlight, with the stars that practically glowed in his eye's, I don't think I've ever thought it was possible to feel so relaxed and intimidated at the same time.

"[Y/n], are you okay?" He asked, his voice barley above a whisper as he slowly reached up, softly brushing his fingers against my cheek. A flutter in my chest caused the chains on my body to recoil slightly, and thankfully he didn't notice the change, "No, I just can't hold it in anymore Asra" My hand clenched tightly on my sleeves, nearly causing them to rip while Asra brushed a lock of hair of of my face. "Hold in what?" He smiled, but my eyes drifted to his chest, looking where the mark on his heart is hiding, causing me to reluctantly pull away from his touch.

It was a simple friendly gesture he's always done to calm me down, to bring me back from whatever clouded my thoughts. So when I pulled away he reached out again, slower this time, as if any rushed movement would send me away. "Asra stop" He looked a bit shocked when I grabbed his wrist, but my grip was gentle, cause I'm more afraid of hurting him than anyone else. However the negative thoughts practically swallowed my mind whole as I rejected his magic from flowing into me. The mark on his chest was the only thing I could look at, cause it reminds me everyday that he gave up some of his heart for his apprentice, to bring them back. Jealousy truly is a cruel thing.

"Nevermind, it was foolish of me to think I even had a chance" I whispered with a bitter chuckle, taking a step back I crossed my arms, turning my broken gaze towards the sky. "Forget it, just go back to your apprentice, they need you more than I do" I don't know why my words came out laced in such malice and sorrow, but they did, and that seemed to earn a glare back from him. "What's wrong with you? Ever since you found out about my deal its like all you want to do is run away from me and push me away, if you have something to say to me then go ahead and say it, but do not drag them into this."

The chain around my neck tightened, slowly crushing at my windpipe as I clenched my fists and smiled softly to myself. I knew I'd regret what I did next, I knew it would weigh on me forever, I knew it would cause me much more pain then it did right then, but I did it anyway. Ill have to thank Ilya if this works, putting on my best face I turned towards Asra and scoffed, tilting my head a bit, like I usually do when pissed off, even though this is just a lovely facade. "Don't even bother, its not like you'd care anyways, would you? All you care about is that apprentice of yours, you even gave up part of your heart for them" I let the words flow, nearly letting the tears pool in my eyes when I spat them out.

"Is that really what you think?" He hissed, knuckles turning white from how tightly he was grasping his sleeves, but I didn't let myself falter under his gaze. "Asra I don't have to think it when I know its true, we've known each other since we were kids, you can't fool me" I scoffed, glaring back into his lavender eyes, keeping that gaze was a lot harder then I thought it would be. Before he could speak up I made sure to cut him off, "You love 'em, that's the only reason you'd do it right? Because you love them? Let me guess, you couldn't live without them could you?" I rolled my eyes, looking off to my left, practically feeling his breath hitch for a moment, confirming what I needed to know.

Im sorry Asra.

You don't have to forgive me.

Because I highly doubt these chains will go anywhere, I can never be free. Even with you by my side, the one person that keeps me together, the one person that I'd risk everything for.

Im so sorry.

"Just leave already, its not like you want to be here anyways right? So just leave me alone, I don't want you here."

_____

I don't remember much after that, but I do know he left, and I was left alone to wallow in my own despair. The chains got tighter over the year, so tight that the only thing keeping me breathing is all the techniques I've learned, and the fact I learned how to hold my breath for a long while. A few tears slip past my [E/c] eyes, that Faust happily wipes away with her tail, rubbing her face against my cheek, "Friend!" She smiles, curling against me, it felt so good to have her around again. Even if this'll be the last time.

The chains tighten a slight fraction, forcing me to hold my breath. "[Y/n]?" My body tensed at how my name rolled off his lips, it felt like a distant dream, like this isn't actually happening, but one look at him and I know its real. My god has he always looked so gorgeous? Or am I going crazy? Probably both. Once [E/c] met Lavender I knew I was done, his hairs pushed back like last year though the mask kinda looks the same, with only a few added touches, and his costume definitely gets him to stand out above the rest, just a beautiful array of bright colors clashing against his mixed skin, it hugs his figure perfectly. He looks like a god amongst the light of the fountain.

"Its me" I sighed out, reluctantly turning my gaze back to my feet. I couldn't help the surprise when he moved in front of me, placing both hands on my cheeks, looking into my eyes with such relief that I could hardly believe it. His touch sent shivers down my spine, slowly I started to breathe again as the chains retract a bit, I had clearly forgotten how revealing my clothes are, cause once the chains pulled back Asra's eyes shifted to them.  "How long have you had these?" He asked, trailing his hands down to trace the marking with a soft touch, "Asra wait-" Yet the mark appears, the same one he has, just mine glowed a faint blue in the center of my chest.

His eyes widened seeing the mark, keeping his eyes on it as if it were to attack at any moment, "You've never had chains, its always been your skulls and flowers, is it because of this? Why didn't you tell me about this?" He looked hurt, the same hurt in his eyes that he had a year ago when we last talked.

"What was your deal?"

Oh how I wanted to tell him, but the chains tightened at the thought, yet I pushed through it, Im tired of lying, I'm tired of keeping everything in, Im tired of it all, "That I couldn't be open anymore, that I wouldn't be able to speak my mind freely like I once did." A small cough ripped out my throat as a blue glow tried to burn past the chains, failing miserably. "What? Why?" He looked stunned, I don't blame him, I've always been one to speak my mind and tell everyone how I'm feeling, to be honest to myself and them without a care about what others thought.

But..

"I was scared, there's something I've always wanted to say, but I never could because I've always been so afraid about what would happen after, what if it went wrong? What if I messed up? What if I said something wrong? What if you-" My mouth snapped shut as quickly as it could, now I certainly can't avoid this, cause those lavender eyes stare at me with such intensity I might just burn away. His hands slowly moved up to my neck, letting his magic aid in pulling the chain away from my neck, allowing me to breath freely. "What about me?" He asked softly, keeping his gaze fixed on mine as my hands unconsciously travel to his hips.

I guess it's now or never..

Building what up whatever courage I had left, I pulled Asra against my chest, using one hand to push his mask out the way, before claiming his lips with mine.

[wann-der-lusst]

Survived in the darkness of the tunnel

by Chabelita Alvarado

I woke up in the morning with the alarm clock. I quickly made a way in the hall to the bathroom. I did my usual routine in the morning and got ready to go to school.

I walked downstairs to eat a quick breakfast with mom and dad. Smiling to myself and munching on the last piece of bacon. I made a way down the sidewalk, the cold air stinging my cheeks, and towards the subway.

I was halfway through my walk to the subway station when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled out my phone, I saw a chat on messenger that came from my annoying best friend.

My best friend, Jane, just told me through chat that Wade Rivas was single. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. That's what she had to tell me?! As if I care.

Well, if there was one thing Jane would wake up this early for, it would be Wade Rivas. Tunasan High School's very own stereotypical badass who just happened to have every female in the school drooling at his feet, and unfortunately that included my best friend. I pity for Jane, poor thing.

I just chatted that "let's see each other at school and spill me the tea".

I slipped my phone back into my pocket smiling at my idiotic excuse for a best friend and looked up to see that I was at the subway station.

Sighing I found myself a seat towards the back as far away from everyone else as possible. I hated when I went out in public and the public was actually there.

It was only after I had sat down and was about to pull out my pair of headphones ready to expertly ignore everyone, that I realized who was sitting right across from me looking like someone had definitely had a bad day.

Sitting there, arms crossed, and dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, was none other than Wade Rivas.

I didn't realize I was staring at him that long until a pair of green eyes met mine, followed by the harshest glare I've received.

Embarrassed, I quickly averted my eyes and turned back to my phone and headphones. My embarrassment turned into curiosity though. Why was he riding the subway? The last time I checked he had a car.

I put my headphones in and played a song of All About You by Taeyeon. I tried to feed my wandering thoughts, and prepare for the thirty-minute ride.

I once glanced over at Wade. He was still staring at me. Although this time that confused expression was no longer on his face. Instead, it was replaced by an amused one.

I didn't buy to talk to him. We've been going to the same school for just about four years, and in all that Wade and I had never crossed paths.

To kill and waste some time, I approached him. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Weren't you just staring at me?" he said. Hmm. His voice, it made sense that many girls admire him.

"I'm not staring, I'm… just… not blinking." I protested.

He shook his head and fixed those eyes on me again.

"Then why were you 'not blinking' at me?

"Why do you care? You used to be girls staring at you." I said. Okay, I admitted that I am quite attractive to him.

"Of course I'm used to girls staring at me. I'm asking why you're staring at me. You don't even throw me a glance at school." Wade said.

That caught me off guard. I was an average girl in the school. So, he knew who I was? I had to remind myself that I didn't care whether he noticed me or not.

"I was just curious." I said bringing myself from my thoughts.

"About?" he prompted.

"Why are you here? Riding the subway I mean. Don't you have a car?"

"That's none of your business." He snapped as he turned to look in the other direction. Woah, a sudden change of his mood. I can't bear him, god.

Aha! He wasn't in a good mood because of his ex. Now I know. I decided to take pity on him. "I'm sorry, I just heard about your, uhm, break up?" I said with sympathy.

"What are you doing Chayo? Why are you trying to be nice?" he said.

Now that really shocked me. I wasn't pretending! It wasn't like I was a mean person. I was nice all the time. Or at least I thought I was. Second thing, I'm shocked he knew my name. We were not uttering a single word to each other through high school and this our first time to casually talk.

"What do you mean, why am I trying to be nice?" I asked, a little offended.

"I mean we haven't said so much as one word to each other throughout high school. Why are you talking to me now? Let alone trying to be nice to me? If I'm not wrong, I was under the impression that you couldn't stand me. If it's just cause you feel for me, don't." he said while completely facing me.

My mouth actually dropped open. What kind of reputation was going around about me?

"It's not that I can't stand you. It's just that I wasn't about to drool at your feet just so I could get a chance to talk to you". I said.

Wade was silent for a moment as he seemed to think this over.

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this, but as crazy as it sounds Amber was the first girl I was really serious about. I mean there was a girl before that but that had about a snowball's chance in hell of happening."

"What? There was a girl that The Wade Rivas didn't have a chance with? I need to meet her and shake her hand." I said, teasing him about that.

First time, we talked like a friend. We'd finally talked and on a subway of all places, kinda strange. However, we were comfortable with each other.

Our conversation interrupted when the subway train suddenly came to stop. The awkward and embarrassing filling caused my body sway to the left and body bumped into Wade's and seeing as my hands were currently shoved into my pockets, I couldn't brace myself for it. So, instead Wade ended up with his hands placed on my arms to keep me from toppling over face first into his lap.

My face heated up. It looked like a tomato.

My moment of embarrassment was changed in fear. Our light mood ended abruptly when the subway doors suddenly slid open and instead of passengers boarding, five masked and hooded figures made their way inside.

They were all wearing dark jeans and hoodies that concealed their faces. Each one carried a black duffle bag. Flirt out of the five figures silently made their way into the other cars leaving just one behind. The lone figure stood in the middle of the subway car and dropped the duffle bag with a loud thud, gaining the attention of all the other passengers.

Silently, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black handgun.

Screams erupted all around me as everyone laid their eyes on the weapon. I sighed in fear, I couldn't believe that this was happening.

I felt the train begin to move again and I let my eyes wander to the left, trying to see through the window into the next car.

I observed all the passengers, they were all afraid. Screams were still ringing out around me and I had to suppress the urge to yell for everybody to shut up.

A gunshot rang throughout the small space causing me to almost jump out of my seat. My ears were ringing and when I looked up to the figure holding the gun in the air with their index finger wrapped around the trigger.

Everyone was silent now.

"Now that I have your attention I'd like to properly introduce myself." The figure pulled off the hood that had been covering their head and face, revealing a creepy flesh colored mask with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth and a shaggy mess of short greasy black hair on top of his head. When he spoke his voice was muffled by the mask but nonetheless I could still hear that it was deep and rough, like a smoker's voice.

"You can call me Rad." He continued.

I frowned at that. What kind of a criminal introduces themselves to their victims? I mean I doubted that if I made it out of this alive and went to the police that they'd have someone named Rad in the system, but still.

"Now first thing first, we need to get a few things straight. Any of you scream again, you die. Simple as that, understand?" He warned.

When no one answered, he shot the gun into the air again causing everyone to jump but no one screamed.

"I guess you all understand. This ride will go by a lot more smoothly if you all just cooperate." He added.

No one dared move suspicious. Wade and I kept our mouth to not say anything for our safety. Rad walked back and forth in the small confined space of the train car, switching the gun from his right hand, to his left, and then back again.

I wondered what he was doing exactly. If he was here to blow people's heads off then why wasn't he? I hated the fact that we were waiting here not knowing what would happen next. As if he could sense my impatience with him, Rad spun around and glared at me through his mask. Or at least I thought he was glaring at me, but I couldn't really tell with the mask on.

"You." Rad said pointing the gun at me.

I froze and clenched my hands into tight fists as I stared wide eyed, not at Rad, but at the barrel of the gun.

"What's your name?" Rad asked.

"Chayo." I said quietly.

"Chayo...Why don't you go ahead and stand up Chayo." Rad said kindly. I hated it when he say my name. I gave an involuntary shudder.

I was about to force myself to stand, even if it was against my better judgement, when I felt Wade grip my left hand, keeping me in my seat.

I glanced at Wade and gave him a questioning look.

"Why do you want her to stand?" Wade asked while narrowing his eyes.

I wanted to slap my hand over Wade's big mouth.

"I thought we already went through this. You don't speak… Unless. You're. Spoken. To." Rad ground out the last words slowly, and I doubted he would remind Wade.

"Wade please…" I begged quietly. I stood up even though I highly doubted it. "Obviously your girlfriend has more sense than you." Rad said while tilting his head to the side.

I almost opened my mouth to tell him that Wade was not my boyfriend, but I kept it shut. I wanted to live.

I slowly walked up to Rad and stood there, waiting.

Then I waited for more than two minutes. He said nothing, did nothing, just stood there staring at me. I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. He was making me anxious and when I became anxious I also got a really bad case of word vomit.

"Are we just going to stand here and stare at each other?"

After I regretted what I just said, my eyes instantly darted down to Rad's clenched fits and before I could look back at his masked face, I felt his hand connect with my jaw, hard.

The force of his punch made me bite down on my tongue as I stumbled back from the impact, my hand covering my jaw. The train car seemed like it was suddenly bathed in bright white lights, and I reached my free hand out to try and find something to steady myself. I could taste something metallic and salty which I knew had to be my own hold.

Wade approached me and gave an angered face to Rad.

"Well, aren't you two sweet? Trying to protect each other like that." Rad gave a dark chuckle before he jerked his head to the door leading into the next car.

"Move it, both of you, Now!" He ordered.

Still clutching the left side of my face I stumbled my way toward the door with Wade right behind me, one hand on my lower back and other on my arm, whether it was to keep me from falling flat on my face or just there to comfort me, I didn't know. All I was focused on was the pain which seemed to be everywhere in my face.

As Rad pushed us forward I wondered exactly what we'd gotten ourselves into. We'd continue to walk through the next two train cars.

Wade and I got shocked from what we witnessed in the next train car. The image of the knife swiping across the old man's neck and the gushing blood, was imprinted in my brain.

"Grandpa!" the little girl wailed and a chorus of horrified screams followed. She hopped out of her seat and ran to her grandpa before she sank to her knees next to him, his blood seeping into her white tights.

I stared, unable to move or breathe. I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth hard and bit down, trying to keep myself from throwing up.

I heard Rad chuckle darkly behind me before he began shoving at our backs again. When we had reached the front of the train where it was operated. Rad opened the door and I had to bite back a scream.

There on the floor was the conductor with a bullet bole i. the center of his head. I couldn't take much more of this.

Rad lifted the man up like he was nothing more than a rag doll and threw him out of the compartment where he landed with a loud thud, pointing the gun back at me and Wade.

"Get in." Rad ordered.

I walked inside slowly and my nose instantly wrinkled at the smell of blood. I looked ahead, out the front window of the train, as we sped past flickering light bulbs in the tunnel. I wondered where we were headed now.

Wade walked in behind me and I saw his face scrunch up as the smell of blood invaded his nose too.

"I'll be back to deal with you two later."

That was all Rad said before he closed us in and made his way back towards the back of the train.

As soon as the door closed, I pressed my back against the wall before I slid to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest.

This couldn't be happening.

Wade knelt down in front of me with his arms on his knees, and he stared at me intently.

"He just killed him." I whispered, shaking my head. "He didn't even flinch. He just slit his throat. Right in front of his granddaughter!" My voice rose and I think I was starting to hyperventilate. I was taking in quick shallow breaths and I started rocking back and front.

"Oh God, we're going to die. We're going to die." I was seriously starting to panic now. What would my parents do once they found out that I had been chopped up into a thousand little bite sized Chayo pieces? Then there was Jane. She'd probably take it worse.

Wade snapped his fingers in front of my face and broke me from my horrid thoughts.

He placed both of his hands on my knees and spoke very slowly, "We're not going to die. Okay?"

I looked back up at Wade and nodded slowly.

"Promise me then. Promise me that we won't die down here. Not like this." I said as I felt unexpected tears fill my eyes.

I didn't want to die. Not here. Not like this.

I watched him with a frown as he reached out and wiped a strat tear from my cheek before letting his warm hand rest there.

I didn't push his hand away like I told myself to. Instead, I welcome it, enjoying the brief comfort his touch brought me. I could use it right now.

"I promise." he said quietly.

I could only hope that he kept his promise.

I'm not sure how long I sat there. My imagination was running wild the longer we sat there. I imagined it might happen but my horrible thoughts scattered when the subway lurched and rumbled against the tracks.

"We're slowing down." Wade said.

The sound of the door sliding open behind us made me tear my gaze from the window and Rad who was standing in the doorway, his flesh colored mask and gaping black eye holes staring at me. A shiver ran down my spine.

Rad ordered us to follow him.

As we made our way through the subway cars I noticed that they were now all empty. I wanted to ask where everybody was but I was afraid of the answer I might get. So, I kept my mouth shut this time and kept moving.

We were on the last train car, Rad pushed us toward the exit doors which were already open.

We stepped out onto the old platform and my earlier question was instantly answered. All the people who had occupied the subway cars were now on the platform, all on their knees with their hands tied behind their backs with zip ties, set up in a line.

The one wearing a Jason Vorhees hockey mask stepped forward and tied our hands in our back. Jason Mask pushes us forward at the end of the line of subway passengers, where we got down on our knees and joined them.

"Now that you're all here, the real fun can!" Rad began with a clap.

A whimper and a sniffle came from my right and I glanced down the line of people and my eyes landed down on the same little girl from before. The little girl whose grandpa had been murdered right in front of her.

She was crying. I made myself a promise that I'll protect her.

I watched in silence as Rad and his band of masked began untying people and ushering them down onto the tracks of the

subway.

"Now this is how this is going to go," Rad began as he paced back and forth in front of the abandoned tracks. "The tracks from here on out are abandoned and farther down they break off into a bunch of unused subway tunnels. That's where you all are headed." He added.

"We're going to be playing a little game of hide and seek if you'd like to think of it that way. There's only one exit in one of these tunnels that leads up and out of the subway station but finding it will be like finding a needle in a haystack. If by some miracle though, you do happen to find this exit then you're home free... but if you don't," I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "And we get to you first then... well I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise now would I?"

Wade and I joined the group of passengers after the mask man untied the knots.

"You get two minutes, Two minutes and then the chase begins and you better hope like hell that we don't catch you" Rad warned everybody

"Why are you doing this?' A male voice demanded and that was Wade.

"I'm doing this to prove a point." Rad stated simply.

"What point?" Skater boy demanded.

"That I'm free to do whatever I please. You all live in this world thinking that you're safe, that you're protected. Well, you're not. Do you see anybody down here that'll give you as second glance if it means risking themselves?" Rad shook his head when the skater boy didn't respond.

"So, whoever is gonna survive through this game. Deliver the message to your pathetic police When they find all your dead bodies they'll see what a complete failure this entire system is." Rad added.

Rad glanced down at a watch that sat perched on his wrist.

"You have one minute and fifty-nine seconds" Rad said

As a cue, all the passengers started to run. I tried to scan the crowd for the little girl but people bumped into me and elbowed their way past trying to sprint ahead.

We kept running.

My legs were arching, my lungs were burning, and my head was spinning, all while I was running for my life.

As we continued running, my heart hammered furiously in my chest, and it felt like I was going to puke acid really soon.

I started slowing down and eventually I just stopped. I bent over with my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath.

Wade approached me and tried to motivate me to keep going. However, we heard an ear splitting scream echo down the tunnel. I turned to our back. I'm sure the group of masked men started to sue us.

Wade gently helped to keep half-running. I ignored the pain. We've reached the end of the track, we came to the tunnels that Rad had mentioned earlier. It was seven that all led off into different directions.

Wade and I agreed to pick the seventh tunnel. When we were inside, there were no lightbulbs, we couldn't see anything other than a pitch black.

We walked faster and carefully felt our tracks. My hands touched the wall of the tunnel and continued to walk.

Leading the track, Wade checked his phone but no signal to call police. However, we could use that as a flashlight.

Unluckily, the ground seemed to change, and I found myself free falling into the darkness. Wade yelled my name. My body smacked against the concrete. I cried out as bolts of searing hot pain jolted through every inch of my body. Tears filled my eyes instantly and spilled over as the pain took over. There was a horrible throbbing pain in the back of my head and an awful burning and ripping sensation in my side.

I heard the faint shuffling of footsteps and suddenly a bright light was shining in my water filled eyes.

"Shit!" I heard Wade's horrified whisper.

I couldn't even speak cause everything was hurt. Wade knelt down next to me. He sat his phone next to him letting the light create a small pool of illumination around us.

Wade said that he was going to help me. He began to lift the hem of my shirt. He slowly moved his hand upward until it rested just below my rib cage. And I felt an extreme amount of pressure on my ribs. There was an audible pop but I could barely hear it over the ear piercing scream that

was coming from my mouth. That was a great help, it had lessened considerably the pain before. A sheen of sweat covered my forehead as I breathed in and out rapidly.

Wade called my name with a worried and concerned face.

"I'm… still.. okay" I said through pants of breath. I blacked out.

I woke up cuddling with Wade. I'm literally surprised because I thought it was one of the psycho mask man. I could still feel the pain in my side. Wade told me that I was fell in manhole. One of my rib was dislocated.

"I'm grateful that you stuck around and helped me. It means a lot that you'd do that for me… and… and I'm sorry."

I jerked back a little when Wade whipped his head back so he could look at me, his eyes shining in the dim light of his cellphone.

I swallowed nervously and stared back at him, waiting for some kind of response. I froze when he reached up and pushed a damp piece of my hair behind my ear. My heart just about exploded when he let his hand linger on my face.

Didn't he know that there were people after us? Shouldn't we be running for our lives now?

I was ready to raise to slap his face when he got close enough to kiss me, but an ear splitting scream rang through the tunnel.

That scream scared me half to death in a panic, I jumped and slammed my head against Wade's.

I groaned in pain while rubbing my forehead and said to Wade that he had a hard head. Wade said that my head was exactly soft, teasing me.

"Did you hear that scream? Somebody could be in trouble." I said.

Wade just coughed and sounded like he was struggling to contain his laughter.

"Have you lost your mind? Those masked freaks could get to whoever that was and they could be headed this way right now." Wade explained.

I ignored his statement and tried to get up from sitting into his lap but he pushed me back to his.

"Please, Wade, I want to know who it was. Because it could be that little girl. She can't make it down here by herself. Hell, we can barely make it, so just imagine how she's doing. I have to find her Wade, so please don't try to stop me" I said.

Wade stared at me for seconds and stood up and then gently helped me to my feet. He grabbed my hand, shooking his head before he said "Let's go then, Wonder Woman."

Along our way, Wade and I talked nonsense. I've just realized that it was a mistake to find this little girl or who it was that did the screaming.

We've reached the end of the tunnel, but there was a large cavernous room. It was made of the same gray stone as the rest of the tunnels down here and jagged pieces of rock and pipe jutted up from the floor and hung from the ceiling. There were a few pale yellow flickering lanterns that cast an eerie glow across the large room, which meant someone had been here recently. Looking around, the room was empty.

"There's nobody here Chayo, we should head back and try and find our way out of here while we still can." Wade's voice rang out in an echo arout the vast room.

When I was to turn back to face Wade, the same shrill scream from earlier ran out behind me.

A black boots began to step forward, revealing black jeans and then a black hoodie before finally revealing a sheep masked figure.

"You two are just too easy." Sheep Mask drawled out, his voice slightly muffled by the mask.

I couldn't believe that we were fooled by this man. The scream that we heard was just recorded. The sheep mask currently holds the device where the scream came from and he pressed the button again to play the scream sound.

The Sheep Mask reached into the waistband of his dark jeans and pulled out a black handgun. The Sheep Mask pointed the gun to Wade but to my suprise, Wade was on top of him. Both of them struggled to gain control of the gun.

When the Sheep Mask started angling the gun towards Wade's chest, I rushed forward and brought my foot down as hard as I could on Sheep Mask's face.

Wade didn't wait for any second as the gun was on his hand. The Sheep Mask tried to scare them that we were going to die soon when Rad reached them. I faintly heard a loud crack and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wade ram the butt of the gun into the side of Sheep Mask's face, then he shot the gun toward the head of the masked man.

Wade came to me and brought my head to his chest.

"We're not going to die here, Chayo. Do you understand? We're getting out of here," he promised. I hold on that promise.

I can't believe that we just killed the Sheep Mask man. I'm so mad to myself that we had to do that.

We've continued to search the exit. Wade leads the way, but his navigating skills sucks. When I led our way, it turns out that any navigating skills sucked a lot more than Wade's did. I ended up leading us right back to the spot where we started.

Apparently, Wade and I saw the same flurry of pink darts across the tunnel and into another one. I'm sure that was the little girl with the pink shirt that we tried to look for before.

We were not really sure but we decided to follow the girl from where the tunnel she ran through.

In turn of the event, someone grabbed me from the right. I saw Wade also dragged by another mask man. The piggy mask figure man that was covering my mouth by his hand, led me from somewhere. I was parted away from Wade. The last scene of him was fighting with the other mask man.

The Piggy Mask lifted his left foot and kicked open an old door that read "Employees Only".

The room looked like a place where electricians or repairmen would frequent with all the machinery inside.

The Piggy Mark man removed his mask as soon as he closed the door. It was Rad, the leader of the psycho mask group.

He grabbed my hair to go to another destination. There was a series of many lefts and rights before we finally came to his destination.

We went to another room. It was large and full of pipes in the ceiling. In the center of the room stood four, large, curved, gray pipes that jutted out from the floor and were pointed to the right wall.

There were three people handcuffed for those pipes. The strange man was handcuffed to the first one. The second one was the skater boy. The third one was the little girl that we've been looking for.

And for the fourth pipe, Rad cuffed me from the last pipe.

"W-why are you doing this?" I asked between my sobs.

"I already told you. The system already failed me once and now they're going to fail you. This is all to prove a point." Rad simply said. With that, he disappeared back down from the tunnel.

As soon as Rad was out of sight I slumped against the pipe before sliding to the ground. Anything I did was a failure to escape. I just dropped my head and think that this was how I'm going to die.

The first man in the pipe turned into red, burned, bloody and raw. The skin skin looked like it had been seared completely off and I could see the white of their bones poking out.

The skater boy started to scream, asking for help. The little girl started to cry and I had no idea what to do to comfort her.

I've heard a voice. "Chayo?!" Wade yelled out from somewhere. My head whipped up at the sound of his voice and directly look at his eyes.

He ran forward and bent down to hug her.

"How did you-,"

"You don't know how I fight that masked man but I'm relieved that I found you." Wade said.

"But I'm going to die here. The pipes. They shoot out hot steam and the man just got a face full of it." I explained.

Wade looked at the first pipe, his eyes widened and urged to fight to not throw up something.

Wade immediately pulled a trigger of his gum that pointed to her handcuffs but nothing happened.

Wade found two bobby pins into the hair of the little girl. He borrowed it from the girl and promised to help her.

I suggested to Wade to help first the skater boy and the little girl before me. Wade argued about it but he still did it. When Wade successfully unlocked the handcuffs to the skater boy, the skater boy moved forward to also help unlock the handcuffs on the little girl. Wade finished to get rid of the handcuffs to me before the steam of the pipes burned her.

We were successfully all safe, as of now.

The four of us continued to find the exit of this tunnel. Upon walking, we've talked in some conversations but stay alert. The skater boy named Dylan and the little girl named Rose.

Our conversation was long. Until Rose pointed ahead of her. She was pointing at the end of the tunnel and my blood ran cold.

Standing at the end of the tunnel, completely silent and staring at us, was the man in the Jason Mask.

Jason Mask aggressively started running towards us. As an instinct, Wade held my hands and we started to run to the tunnel on our right. Dylan and Rose followed us. There were a bunch of lefts and rights before we reached the two tunnels.

We agreed to part away in two groups. Dylan and Rose went to the left tunnel and Me and Wade ran through the right tunnel.

Me and Wade never stopped to run even though I've being clumsy for how many times I fall on my feet.

Wade stopped, he pushed me against the wall of the tunnel that didn't reach the dim light of the tunnel. I wondered what's going on in his mind but it made sense when I heard booming footsteps and a few seconds later I watched with wide eyes as Jason Mask went thundering past us and continued down the tunnel.

When I'm sure he was gone, I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

For a minute, we stayed there and had some rest. But I saw Rose had just come into view and even from here I could see red stained in her pink shirt.

Wade and I hurriedly approached Rose. I asked if she was hurt. But she said with tears that the blood stain came from Dylan.

Rose led the way where Dylan was. There was no way Rose should have been able to know the way back. She made way too many turns for her to have memorized it only going through it once. I stopped walking, Wade and I shared a look and thought the same thing.

With that, Rad suddenly came into view and Rose ran to him.

"Did I do good Daddy?" Rose asked.

"You did great sweetheart. Daddy is so proud of you." Rad said. Rose smiled proudly.

Rad pointed a gun on me. He ordered me to walk. We were now on one of the train car. Rad demanded Wade to hold out his hands. Rad handcuffed Wade's hands in one of the metal standing poles. Rad got the gun from Wade's pocket.

And by that, Rad left us after he locked the door of the train car.

I went to Rad's place.

"I'm sorry, I broke my promise to you," Wade said.

"You don't have to say sorry, maybe this is our fate." I said in my tears.

Wade asked to come closer with him. I went closer enough but he demanded to stand between his arms and the pole. I just didn't argue with that with the small place he was asking me to stand.

I stepped forward before ducking under one of his arms and I was now officially enclosed to him. I looked at him when he called my name with an intense expression.

"It was you. Even before Amber. I know this is not the right timing because we're almost likely dead anyway but I needed you to know."

I didn't know what response I should do, but I passionately kissed him. He kissed me back.

We stopped kissing when all of the sudden the doors that connected opened, I can see on the front train that the subway train was on fire. And the flames were quickly making their way towards us.

I could already smell the smoke. I ran back to the exit door and began pushing, pulling, and even banging on the door. Nothing worked.

Wade suggested kicking on the exit window. We kicked the window twice and it cracked. For the fifth time we kicked the window, it finally broke.

Wade told me that there was a left pin in his pocket. I get it used to get rid of the handcuff to his hands. It took more time and the smoke was already burning our lungs. Finally, the handcuff was unlocked. Wade took off his hoodie jacket and placed it around his left hand. He broke some left pieces of glass in the window.

He was the first one to climb out in the window before me. Wade helped me up. When I was on my feet I looked up at the burning subway train and watched as the flames of the fire completely engulfed it.

We saw Rad and his little girl at the top of the platform looking on the subway train to burn into ashes. Rad didn't see from where we were, I'm sure he thought that we were dead on that train.

So I made a plan to eliminate that freaking psycho.

__

I appeared from where Rad was standing.

"You bastard! You killed him!' I screamed as I slammed my body into Rad's and forced me to cry.

Rad was shocked that I was still alive. But he grabbed me roughly by my wrists and squeezed them tightly.

Okay, this was not part of my plan, I hope he didn't think to kill me now.

Turning back to my acting, I yelled to him like he really killed Wade. He just darkly chuckled about it.

As part of the plan, Rad never got to finish what he was about to say because a shard of glass was pushed straight into the center of his back.

Rad let me go. Rad was about again to speak but Wade stabbed again into his chest.

Rad had died. I hugged Wade as finally we are safe now. Wade took the kicking Rose and threw her into his shoulder. Wade and I slowly move forward to find the exit.

With the help of the light in Wade's cellphone, it was enough to see our way. As I was the one who's holding the cellphone, I saw in the darkness a set of stairs and swallowed hard before turning back to face Wade and nodded slowly.

We saw a light on the wood that was blocking our way. We kicked the light wood on how many times before we succeeded to pull off the wood.

Through the small hole, I could see the city lights that brought me into tears. The stars in the sky let me know that it was night.

We've carefully made a way through the hole. When I stood up and took a deep breath, it felt like it had been forever since I had breathed in fresh air.

There were a lot of old and abandoned buildings around that were boarded up just like the subway entrance had been.

We had planned to surrender and tell the police about Rose's case. She could still be changed with the help of DSWD.

Wade called an emergency call to 911. Wade and I shared a smile. I slowly kissed him.

We sat on the abandoned street and waited for the police to come and rescue us.

[vkookjamz]

⋆☽Kitten☾⋆

|| Prologue. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

| 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑥 𝐶𝑎𝑡-𝐻𝑦𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑑 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 |

"𝘉-𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭..?"

𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬'𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯. 𝘈𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦..

---------------------------------------------------

Y/n's POV

It had been about an hour or so after breakfast, the rest of Bangtan and you were in Jin's black truck driving out to the mall.

Tae suggested to head out shopping for you some proper clothes after everyone finished a very awkward breakfast and got ready.

Perhaps he wanted a little something from Gucci for himself since you saw him grab his own wallet humming Gucci Gang before he walked out the door-

You were excited to go, not that you weren't used to it. Now you wouldn't have to worry about keeping up with the guys since- you were human. Well, somewhat at least.

Jin was driving with Namjoon in the passenger seat beside him, swiping through his phone listening to music.

You sat between Hoseok and Jimin in the second row, while Jungkook, Taehyung, and Yoongi sat together in the back.

"Why is it I have to sit in the back?! I called shotgun" Tae complained with a whine crossing his arms.

"I'm oldest and it's my car so I say who sits where" Jin shrugged glaring at Tae through the rearview mirror, who was glaring back.

"But it's not fairrrrrrr Namjoon always sits in the front! I always get stuck in the back!"

"Aish Tae-" Namjoon was cut off.

"Taehyung shut up. You've been complaining the past twenty minutes and where you're seated isn't gonna change" Jungkook seemed even more irritated than before he'd left the dorms.

"Jungkook don't say what I'm meant to say- but yes Taehyung, what he said" Jin nodded with a hum, focusing his eyes back on the road.

You bit your lip feeling your ears hang low in a small wave of sadness at Jungkook's aggressive mood.

"Hey Jungkook-ah don't be so grouchy you're making y/n's ears go down and look gloomy.." Jimin spoke glancing at you next to him.

Smiling softly as he spoke, he reached to give your head a pat sweetly to cheer you up. "Oh wait- her ears!!"

"What about them Joon? They are up now don't worry she's happy" Hoseok beamed, joining Jimin in stroking your head.

Namjoon shook his head and sighed waving off Hoseok's attempt to reassure him. "No I mean we need to hide her ears, and face actually- "

Your ears once again hung low. What was the problem with them- and your face too?? They were probably ashamed.. "Is something wrong with me??"

"Ah Joonie you're right- No y/n, it's just that we are used to going out in public with cat you- not half cat you-" Jin explained after seeing your worry.

Tae let out a quiet sigh muttering, "Hybrid... "

Jin whipped his head to look at the younger in the backseat, who was now curled up "HUSH TAEHYUNG-"

"Don't feel bad or worry princess- it's just for your protection and so nobody will start any rumors about all of us with some girl- which happens to be you" Namjoon finished, giving you a smile.

Suddenly you jumped squeaking as a grey beanie landed in your lap, having been thrown to you from behind.

"Wow what a generous way to hand something to her" Yoongi's words laced with sarcasm.

Turning around, you sat on your knees facing the back row to see a head shaking Yoongi and a mid eye roll Jungkook.

Why was he so grumpy- He'd never spoken so rude to Taehyung before, and now throwing things at you?

Before, he would coo your name and give you things when you wanted- sometimes you didn't even have to ask. Jungkook would just randomly treat you with thoughtful gifts.

Although it didn't seem like that sweet caring side of him would be present any time soon.

He reached up to hand his black face mask, both of your fingers brushed against each other softly in the process of you taking it gently from his grip. "Just wear my hat and mask to hide yourself until we get there and I'll buy a new one for you"

Unknowingly, you had begun to purr, causing Jungkook to lick his lips at you, quickly returning to his grouchy state. Leaving you to turn back around putting on the hat.

'Aish Jungkook.. '

Sighing, you let go of the cold interaction turning to look at Hoseok with a fresh cheeky smile as you cupped your face.

"How does it look Hobi??" squealing in his own excitement at your cute appearance, he returned your smile by sharing his own brightly.

"AIGOOOO Y/N-AHHH YOU LOOK SO PRECIOUS!! Yah Jimin-ah! Look how cute!!" reaching out, Hoseok squished your hands against your cheeks with his own so you made a puffy fish face.

Continuing to giggle playing along with the two, having Jungkook watch jealously the entire time.

~Time Skippy~

Jungkook's POV

I mentally sighed watching her, she seemed so happy and playful with Hobi and Jimin.

Why couldn't I bring myself to be that way with her too? It's not that I'm really angry at her..

Just- everytime I look at her.. No. Stop it Jungkook. She's your baby girl. Don't think like that!

"You're not good with girls at all are you Kookie?" turning I faced Yoongi who wore a slight smirk.

I huffed shaking my head looking the other way. Why is he still testing me? I already told him everything.

*flashback*

"Because she's mine".

The older raised his eyebrow slightly then crossing his arms. Pursing his lips he looked at Jungkook in an inquisitive state of mind.

"She's not an object Jungkook, she's a living thing with a mind of her own. Also, if you care so deeply for her still, why is it you've been acting like you're absolutely disgusted by her very presence?"

Jungkook sighed rubbing his fingers against across forehead, taking a seat back down on the couch. Placing his head into his hands running his fingers through his now messy hair.

Yoongi had never seen the boy so stressed. Without permission he sat beside him, resting the sides of his elbows on his knees while cupping his hands in front of him.

The younger kept is gaze averted down, "Hyung.. I just don't know how I feel about her. Or if I'm even supposed to, and I get so frustrated because all I want is to understand.. "

"Jungkook-ah, I of all people understand how you feel towards y/n. I saw it in your face when I decided to test your nerves" Yoongi chuckled earning a frown from the boy beside him.

Jungkook sat up properly, looking back at you with the other members. All laughing and having pancakes.

Giving a sympathetic smile, Yoongi rested his hand on his shoulder. "Kook you really need to talk to her. Soon. I see her ears droop more and more by the second with the way you keep treating her"

"I'm afraid- I'm afraid I'll mess up with her and I don't want that.. In the end.. I just want my y/n happy.. But I feel if I try anything it'll be wrong or hurt her" Scrunching up his face the other male, he turned to look at the girl along with Jungkook.

Yoongi sighed sitting up as well, giving his maknae's shoulder a pat while clearing his throat.

"Right now you're not off to a good start, but for now just try and NOT be a dick to her. You don't have to try anything. Just be her appa again" Jungkook nodded slowly pursing his own lips.

Yoongi stared carefully at Jungkook for a moment, his own thoughts keeping him at a loss for words. But deciding to leave to let the other to dwell on what he'd said.

The younger watched as he left, meanwhile he stayed sitting for a bit longer. Observing you.

You were precious to him.

Your smile was as bright as the full moons light, soft and subtle but it could shine through even the purest darkness.

Your laugh contagious to everyone else around you.

You were perfect.

But could he still be your appa..

When he wanted to be more..

*end of flashback*

With a groan I leaned my head back against the seat, only to quickly sit back up upon feeling my pocket vibrate.

I pulled my phone out of my jacket sighing as I unlocked my screen to read the message I had been sent.

My eyes widened slightly with my brows raising along with them, my face contorting into a confused frown as I finished reading.

Thankfully no one could see my first frantic reaction, having been shielded thanks to my black bucket hat.

"Yah, Jungkookie we're almost there so be sure to grab your bad" giving a nod at Tae's words and pat on my shoulder, I slipped my phone back into my pocket letting out a heavy sigh as Jin pulled in a spot to park.

But that message..

"We told you to get rid of her. It's only a matter of time before you see what monster is curled up at your feet"

Who the hell kept texting me. And why is it always about my y/n..

I'd blocked the number each time I received a message. Which wasn't often but still. If it was some sort of prank the joke was long dead.

Soon y/ns smiling face poked from behind her seat as the others were getting out "Jungkook-appa! Are you coming?"

I would try and talk to her. I would put my own deep desires aside. Because in the end it wouldn't matter if I couldn't keep her safe.

"I'm coming kitten.. "

A/n: Sorry if this is a little sloppy, I wasn't sure how to lay it out on here the way I originally did on wattpad~

-ⓙ

[edengarden]

Hello and if asks are still open may I have a regular match up for BNHA?

Name: Nox

Gender: FTM

Occupation: Student (16 almost 17 yrs old. Jan 4th is b-day)

Sexual orientation: Omniromantic Asexual (male/masculine leaning)

Quirk: Transformative/Mutant, "Zoologic shift" (This quirk allows the individual(s) to transform into multiple animals, but the individual has to have a emotional/special connection or feeling towards the animal and to know it's physical structure to properly shift into the said animal (mythical/made up creatures can be acquired but it is extremely difficult due to the fact of anatomy and bone structure). The user only has a limited time to be in their animal form before they start going feral, if the person is angry or has a different strong negative emotion in animal form, the fast they can become feral (once the user becomes feral they will not remember anything until they have calmed down or are somehow distracted), if the user becomes feral for too long they will not be able to transform back unless they are hurt tremendously or their hatred may take a physical form and eventually kill them from the inside (I guess look at the demons from Princess Mononoke to get an idea of what that is).)

Animals acquired: White Dire wolf, Raven, Orca, Clydesdale, Black Mamba, Barn Owl, Russian Blue House cat, Ram, Fire Dragon, Phoenix, Snake Basalisc

At least 3 positive attributes:

Empathetic (emotional and animal, riots and civil conflict bring me to tears as well as I can feel my friends' pain I and want to cuddle ever dog, cat, etc. I see)

Intelligent (at least in certain subjects like language, art, biology, and physical/hero training), serious (it may come off as intemidation but I just usually mess around)

Diplomacy (I try to avoid any physical fights that can but I will fight as a last resort)

Calm (in most situations I try to keep a level head and it works since when most people need serious help they come to you for advice or to vent)

Justful (kinda speaks for itself)

Soft Blunt and Soft Honest (I am honest with people as well as blunt, but I am not mean or hurtful when I say it)

At least 3 negative attributes:

Anger issues (even though usually calm and serious, when pushed over the edge I can become furious and using my quirk will not help at all)

Self sacrificing (since due to personal circumstances I have started to put other people above me (my friends mostly) and I would do anything, even get myself physically or emotionally hurt for them. It is sorta in a way for having approval for those I care about but mostly is just showing that I care for the people I care about)

Self deprecating with imposter syndrome (it's mostly a form of humor, but I take it far enough where people start to worry)

Dark humor (idk I just like it)

Confrontational (if someone confronts and tries to provoke me I will tell them off but never physically fight back)

Self Righteous (The righteousness is good but usually my self righteousness comes up when it comes to someone's safety or when revenge and anger cloud my judgement)

Children (I don't care for children, but I'm afraid my anger will get the best of me and I'll lash. So that's why I stay away from kids as much as possible for tr he fear of accidentally hurting innocence)

Hahahaha...daddy issues...

Hobby(ies):

Hiking in the woods

Drawing (it's usually vented or dark in some way, but sometimes I like drawing people and animals or characters)

Cosplaying

Cooking

cApTuRinG sOuLs-

Learning about Witchcraft/Supernatural/Celestial

Music Taste:

Lofi

Anti-Nightcore/Nightcore

Viking Chants

Sea Shanties

Celtic instrumentals

Death metal

Instrumental

Old Rock

Classical

Bands/song writers: Skillet, SKÁLD, Faun, Black Briar, MARETU, Steampianist, Temporex, Penelope Scott, Mirical Music, Alice Cooper, Pink Floyd, Angel Maker, Forest Music, Panic! At the Disco, MESA works design, , Harrison (not too much into bands but here are the general ones I listen too)

Appearance

Eyes: Brown/Black has bags under eyes

Hair: Red (henna dyed), it's frizzy at the tips and it's long (cab length) and thick (I hate it's length, but parents...)

Skin: Pale (warm tone)

Body type: In between Skinny and overweight, wide shoulders, actually muscular

Anything else?: Teeth have tiny canines, sometimes can have wolf ears and tail showing, kinda thick thighs-, 5'6ish, usually wearing school uniform. Hero uniform includes a black Cape with under it being a black mechanical suit that is bullet and elemental proof, boots are sharp and steel toed resembling a wolf's paw, wears a head mask that looks wolfish as well in the front but in the back of the mask has fur in the back (look towards some reference of the princess mononoke headgear) (not completely like a wolf but sorta resembles one), the mask also helps with muffled hearing and sight because I am sensitive to those things.

Traits I look for S/O: Empathetic, kind, cooperative, someone who also finds comfort in darkness or the shade, someone that knows how to take things seriously but also having a humors side, trusting and loyal, someone that can work with others (I'm usually a loner but I try to work with others), someone that would at least like to have a relationship that includes physical affection (I am a touched starved peep-), I guess someone that works, likes, or even somehow resembles an animal, some that doesn't get angry easily and is patient, introvert an extrovert doesn't matter to be (I guess if I had to choose maybe someone in between the 2?), and I guess someone that just tolerates my presence and doesn't or call me a piece of shit.

Traits I cannot be around with a S/O: Anger...I can't be around angry people because they scare me to the point I become panicked, people that work towards apathy (I may be empathetic but with someone that can't or won't return the same comfort when needed, they exhaust me), untrusting, someone who is a dick to everyone except me (it just seems suspicious and hurtful), someone who is closed minded, someone that has joy in hurting other maliciously, someone who loves bright lights/areas/lives by the sun, guess someone who wants a 24/7 therapist (again it can become exhausted and I know how it is...it isn'tthat nice.)

Star sign: Capricorn (sun), Gemini (moon), Cancer (rising)

Personality type: INTJ, Lawful Neutral

HP House: Hufflepuff that isn't afraid to kickass

Fun facts!:

I'm somewhat of an animal whisperer

Obsessed with herbs and Crystals

I know it seemed edgy with my hatred towards light, but in all honesty the late does infact bother and irritate me, especially when it's hot

Intrested in the celestial and supernatural

I look at horror and nature documentaries

I've trained my dog to come when I howl

I guess if loving spicy food counts as a fun fact then count that in

Ehhhhh...switch sub-

cAndLe bOi-

I must apologize if this is a lot, I just wanted the matchup as accurate as possible, but again thank you for having the ask box open and I hope you have a good day!

Honestly while I read your description, all I could think of was Tokoyami!

I think it’s pretty obvious why?? You two share a lot of things in common. The two of you are very calm individuals, and I can see you both being voices of reason not only to the people surrounding you, but to each other as well. In a way, I think you can even tend to challenge each other and even push (to a healthy extent) the other to become the best version of themselves.

The VIBE you two have. It’s almost too good. And while Tokoyami isn’t affectionate in public, he’d be more than happy to indulge in your starvation for touch behind closed doors! Don’t tell anyone, but he’s a straight up cuddlebug. And I can totally see him digging the spiritual/celestial stuff?? Maybe he won’t actually know anything, but he’d be so hyped if you were willing to teach him omg I can totally see this as your go-to type of date, that’s so sweet 🥺

Songs!!

- Breathe (In the Air), Pink Floyd (I honestly see you and Tokoyami straight up vibing to Dark Side of the Moon like no other to be honest)

- In the Lap of the Gods, Queen

- Sense of Doubt, David Bowie (THIS VIBE IS SO DARK AND URGH I CAN SEE THIS AS A V I B E FOR YOU TWO - However, Neuköln could be a close second to portray this vibe!)

- Killing a Little Time, David Bowie

[iherebyyeetethaway]

I wear a paper mask.

Like formed card stock, I suppose.

Nothing special, nothing thick.

It smoothes out my edges, I think.

I don't much care for makeup or polish.

The design is plain.

It looks much like me, just quiet about the blemishes.

The scars are like stickers.

Fewer spots, fewer scars, but just as many stories.

Like tattoos of loved ones whom we had no other way of honoring.

You take them off when you forget how they got there.

When it doesn't matter anymore.

When you want to move on.

Thing is, though, it gets hard to remember what stickers I took off sometimes.

I love the mask.

It keeps me from sun and wind.

I just wish it perhaps I remembered what I looked like.

The friends I have all love it and they like the simplicity.

And I happily touch it when I find myself afraid.

I often forget not to touch my eyes or mouth in public, though.

They just feel so exposed.

In fact, as I write this I can hear the hiss of my breath against soft wood pulp.

The inhale is never as fresh.

If only I could block out the elements.

That would fix my discomfort.

I noticed, once, that when I took it off...

Well, people would leave.

I didn't mean to do it.

I had an itch.

I thought they understood the scars were real.

It wasn't my fault.

It would be best glued down, though.

I could just itch through the paper.

I might work on that idea.

On second thought, I best not.

If I trip and tear the paper it will look worse than without it.

Perhaps it will be okay to just discreetly itch.

In private.

Alone.

That's fine.

Yeah, being alone is fine.

Sometimes.

Right?

Ok, maybe I got in a little over my head.

Being alone is clearly impossible so I just won't itch.

But it's not my fault if I do, right?

Maybe the solution is to just... Change.

I need this mask.

Without it I'm nothing.

Clearly, obviously, I need an escape.

Either I keep it in or I face permanent exile.

Maybe I can find other people with scar stickers.

Or, I guess, the woods would be an option.

I'll just commune with the trees!

Except they don't talk much...

And they might not understand my mask.

Maybe a new life is the only solution.

I can't go on like this forever!

It just itches so much!

Maybe... I simply cannot go on?

This is the mask's fault.

I hate my mask.

And I hate the people who lied about liking it!

I never needed any of you anyway!

Deuces, you sacks of shit!

I don't want you or this stupid mask anymore.

I'm throwing you both away!

So. Go!

Go away! Nobody wants to see how I really am!

I'm not soft. I'm not pastel pink. My scars are twice as big. They're bumpy. Complex. Ugly. Detailed. Grotesque.

Why. Won't. You. RUN ALREADY!

I sit here, sobbing, bathing in tears and you mock me.

All you do is cry back.

I just wanted to itch my face.

I am sorry.

It just always gets inside my mask.

All the dry air and dust soaks up my tears.

My lips crack from the wind blowing against them.

See? Don't you see how itchy and dry my eyes are?

I'm cold and empty and almost dead inside!

I'm too much.

I'm used up.

Just go

..please.

Let me dry up and die in peace.

In this puddle of my own creation.

Release (2022)

Fae Muller

[stormclouds-chainmail]

[Image description

A series of diary comics in blues and greys and whites by HariDraws about covid.

Image 1

I'm disabled and vulnerable to covid, so inevitably my hourly diary comics will be about that. It's hard for my life not to be centred around that at the moment.

Panel 1

Text: I'm lucky to have been able to avoid Covid so far.

Image: A drawing of a person lying in bed under the covers with their eyes open.

Panel 2

Text: I'm lucky to be able to take precautions at all. So many disabled people have no choice but to expose themselves to constant risk. So many have died.

Image: the bedroom seen from further as back. The person is still lying under the covers in bed.

Panel 3

Text: I'm lucky to have family who can act as carers so I don't starve and I can still work from bed.

Image: the person lying in bed seen from above.

Panel 4

Text: I'm lucky.

Image: the person lying in bed seen from above and further back.

Image 2

My biggest fear is not dying of covid.

Panel 1

Text: What I am most afraid of is covid making my illness worse, and still having to be alive.

Image: a plant with a single stalk and flower decaying in the ground.

Panel 2

Text: I want to stay well enough to speak to people. To keep making stories. And (on very good days) to make myself tea.

Image: a mug of tea by a window.

Panel 3:

Text: I can still move my body, sometimes, within its limits, it feel so precious. Something I don't want to lose.

Image: a person walking down a country lane.

Panel 4

Text: I've lost so many things since becoming ill. I don't want covid to take the last few.

Image: a person sat in a field leaning against a fence.

Image 3

To weather a storm.

Panel 1

Text: It was already difficult to see people - needing an accessible place and with limited energy and mobility but I loved being able to.

Image: a lit oil or paraffin lamp in a dark place.

Panel 2

Text: Covid has wiped most of that out for me. Like the last few bright spots being snuffed out.

Image: a small boat in a sea with very high waves.

Panel 3

Text: Without guiding lights,

Image: a boat at night in roiling water with pitch black land on the horizon and no lights.

Panel 4

Text: It's difficult to see a way forward.

Image: a dark whirlpool seen from above.

Image 4

Freedom day

Panel 1

Text: The more public health measures are abandoned, the less I am able to rejoin the world.

Image: multiple newspaper headlines. Including, "All covid restrictions to end", "uk saw 'more than 350,000 new covid cases each day in early", "UK open for travel", "Almost 60% of people whose deaths involved covid-19 between march and july this year were disabled." "Disabled people an afterthought' for government during covid", "disabled fearing for their lives", "UK lifts covid restrictions", "Freedom day leaves disabled people scared and isolated as "Just 2%" feel safe".

Panel 2

Text: Friends and family have got married while I lay at home. Some have children I've never been able to meet.

Image: zoomed in on newspaper headlines. "Whose deaths involved covid were" and "Disabled fearing for their..."

Panel 3

Text: I'm lucky. I'm still here.

Image: headline clippings with only the following visible. "July this year were disabled", fearing for", "isolated". Some are painted over.

Panel 4

Text: But sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

Image: more headlines but mostly obscured with paint.

Image 5

Bronze

Panel 1

Text: It was my 8 year anniversary with my partner last month we were apart.

Image: A person sat up in bed in a dark room looking at their smartphone.

Panel 2

Text: He's had to go back to in-person work in London, as safety measures have been removed.

Image: a person with a ponytail wearing a mask and standing in a crowded underground train reading a book.

Panel 3

Text: I'll see him in May.

Image: the person lying in bed looking at their smartphone which has the hang up phone symbol coming from it.

Panel 4

Text: It feels like a long time.

Image: the person lying in bed under the covers doing nothing.

Image 6

Panel 1

Text: He makes my tea how I like it.

Image: a person lying in bed facing the cup of hot tea on a bedside table.

Panel 2

Text: He knows how to handle my wheelchair, what movement is too much.

Image: close up of a person's thigh and wheelchair brakes.

Panel 3

Text: When my body will not let me take off my own shoes he does it gently, without asking.

Image: a person's shoe on their food with untied laces.

Panel 4

Text: The absence is palpable with me all the time.

Image: a white whirlpool from above.

Image 7

"Post-covid"

Text: There is such direct disdain for disabled & vulnerable people's lives.

"The only difference with me shielding before and me shielding now is that now I'm stuck in the same position, but this time without help."

Panel 2

Text: Life isn't an on-off switch, where you are healthy or you are dead.

Image: newspaper clippings. "Brain fog" or "Covid dementia," "Suggest a disturbing and extraordinary ability of the coronavirus to destroy the lives of survivors." "Even a year later, some patients are still struggling to return to work or have illness recognized, let alone access disability benefits." "Throughout the pandemic, covid infection - from asymptomatic to severe - has led to long covid in millions." "A mass disabling event."

Panel 3

Image only: newspaper clippings. "Omicron amps up concerns about Long covid which some estimates suggest affects a third of covid-19 survivors."

Panel 4

Text: Post-viral illnesses like mine surge in waves after pandemics. People drop out of their own lives like ghosts.

Image: newspaper clippings. "Long covid: 100,000 scots suffer the post-viral effects, study shows." "I want my life back."

Image 8

If you don't know what chronic illness is like, this is what it's like for me in the pandemic: 8am-10am. I wake very slowly. Like an ancient beast stirring from slumber. I feel especially like I've been run over by a truck because I did a video call two days ago. Perhaps this is less like an ancient beast.

I have severe me/cfs. I'm not sleepy it's a different kind of exhaustion.

Today's symptoms: Headaches, gland pain flu symptoms. Waking up feeling like you haven't slept. Difficulty and slowness concentrating communicating, remembering. Noise and light sensitivity.

Image: a person lying in bed under the covers with their eyes closed.

Image 9

Text: 1pm-10pm. I alternate working and resting for as many hours as I'm able. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts, if the voices are gentle enough the easiest information for my struggling brain to understand. Most days I get messages from group chats & friends. I love them all very much, and wish I could see them. Today I am drawing people dancing. When's the last time I was able to dance? I turn on a podcast and try not to think about it. I have just finished The Dispossessed (Ursula Le Guin). Some of the part's about liberation made me tear up - but I always wonder what happens to those too disabled to work, in any utopia or semblance of it.

Image: a person sat up in bed but lying back on pillows. They have a laptop on a laptop table over their lap and are using a drawing tablet. The are four times coming out of the corners of the image.

Time 1: 7:56 am @hari I know you have enough books on the go at the moment but there are two whole vampire story ideas here

Time 2: 11:35 am Wordle 226 3/6*. The person has noted that the yellow blocks on top of the green look like a "Man walking dog on grass".

6:12 pm: Ive just ended up in an accidental wikipedia dive about the eucharist.

7:15 pm: Im around if u are!

Image 10

Text: 10pm-midnight

I am just well enough to play the newest pokemon today, to set off into the hills to explore the virtual land. I used to love doing this in real life. The tiny simulacrum is both wonderful and terrible. I cannot describe the depths of my longing. To be outside and capable of moving around there.

Me and my partner send each other updates. I don't want to do the quests, only to climb the hills and see what's over the other side.

Image: a landscape with a tree in the foreground and hills in the distance.

Image 11

Text: 12am. Things unravel. Become incapable of concentrating, of moving my fingers. I sleep and hope it is easier tomorrow.

Image: an almost completely white panel with the outline of a black square.

End description]

Diary comics - things I wish people knew about disability in the pandemic

My diary comics always end up being about my illness, but maybe it’s a good thing to be able to talk about it publicly sometimes.

[alienhetalian]

Hey! I'm the anon that asked about the match up info yesterday and today. If you don't mind at all, could I have a match up, please? For the 1Ps and 2Ps, please! If you usually do just one, then either group is fine with me! I’m a 5’ 4", INFP pansexual female with curly, poofy dark brown hair and eyes. I’m quiet in public and I’m usually tired every day, which was enough for me to start developing dark circles around my eyes. (Floof 1)

To strangers, I look asif I’m on drugs (I’m not) or I’m constantly in a bad mood. I do get annoyedpretty easily and will leave and not say anything for a period of time just toavoid a conflict, depending how bad it was. I get upset easily as well, whetherit be because I can’t find a way to help someone out/cheer them up or if theygot mad at me for something I messed up on. (Floof 2)

I don’t like fights atall and if there was one going on that I wasn’t directly involved in, I wouldtry to break it up and get down to the bottom of it by listening from everyviewpoint of the situation. If a fight gets physical, I’m not afraid to goahead and put up a fight, even if the chances of me coming out on top are slimto none. (Floof 3)

I don’t talk a lot, butI’m a great listener. I’m the kind of person that, if I knew lots of people,others go to for advice or to tell things that wouldn’t be shared with otherpeople. I’m always brutally honest if people are asking for advice or opinions,and I expect the person I’m asking advice from to do the same for me. I can’tstand someone lying to me just to make me feel better about something. (Floof 4)

I’m also kinda…clingy? I don’t really have a lot of friends and a lot of people have left mebefore, so I get attached to a new friend or a s/o too quickly and it doesn’treally go that well. I’m still trying to fix that issue. If I was datingsomeone, I’d try not to be the kind of girlfriend that wouldn’t trust their s/oand be overly suspicious about them possibly cheating. Though, if there wassomeone that definitely has their eye on them, I wouldn’t be too happy with‘em. (Floof 5)

I have little to nohobbies. I just, uh, kinda sleep and spend my time scrolling through tumblr. Ican’t find a lot of things that I really enjoy doing, but I’m sure that I’llfind a couple of them soon. For now, I’m just kinda… plain, I suppose. I lovewearing over-sized sweaters, thunderstorms, being affectionate towards my s/o,and sweets. I hate bugs, being ignored, dishonest people, and pranks. Iapologize for the spam and hope you have a great day! Thank you! :’) (Floof 6)

Thank you for your request! I appreciate your detailed description! To remind myself, I added all the parts of your request together (I hope you don’t mind “>.

-L

In 1p! Hetalia, I ship you with: 

1p! England - Arthur Kirkland

Arthur understands you very well. He’s very clear about what annoys him and he likes that you are the same way as well. In addition, he is also quite brutally honest as you are. As a result, there will be little to no confusion when the two of you communicate. He’s thankful that you keep secrets very well. He trusts you with his darkest feelings and the pain that he masks day to day. Arthur is a homebody and enjoys his free time with you. Arthur is also very capable of recognizing your feelings - when you walk away, he knows that you aren’t at all pleased. He also enjoys how affectionate you are, this is something values very much. The two of you would enjoy home dates and cuddle up during the rainy London weather.

In 2p! Hetalia, I ship you with: 

2p! Canada - Matt Williams

Finally! Someone that can understand his moods. Although there won’t be many talkative conversations between the two of you, it’s like you both have developed a special language between the two of you. This means that the two of you can easily decipher each other’s feelings/ mood depending on the look that is exchanged. He finds it cute that you are very affectionate, however he gets easily flustered in these moments and doesn’t know what to do. He enjoys that you are nonviolent but has the backbone to defend yourself. Matt likes late night movies at the theater, so he’ll definitely wants to bring you along.

In 1p! Nyohetalia, I ship you with: 

1p! France - Marianne Bonnefoy

The graceful and calm Marianne would definitely be able to return your affections with her own romantic ones. She is quite observant, so within a short amount of time, she can decipher what your actions mean and the moods/emotions that are the cause of it. She enjoys how you are always there for her, unlike the fleeting people that have gone and left her life like the wind. You are able to inspire Marianne to take a breath and spend a day to recuperate from her fast paced life. Whenever you are annoyed, Marianne will give you the opportunity to have some alone time. However, she is always waiting to welcome you with open arms. She admires how self-aware you are of your strengths and flaws. It encourages her to be more introspective. She really likes to cook for you or enjoy nice evening dinners at a cozy restaurant for dates.

In 2p! Nyohetalia, I ship you with: 

2p! Japan - Honda Akane

I shipped you with her because of your similarities. Akane is quite cold and silent (she’s quite popular due to her looks and excellence in everything she does). However, she finds it effortless to open herself up to you and only you.  Whenever you are unhappy or frustrated, Akane would just quietly sit by your side. In turn, she would like long hugs when she is unhappy. Although Akane is quite secretive and tends to keep her inner thoughts to herself, she finds it so easy to let everything flow out when talking to you. She likes having it known that you and her are a couple (a very exclusive one at that). You’ll be having a lot of study/ reading dates due to her dedication to her studies.