#i don't use any other social media besides here

[team-magma-propaganda]

Submission:

I hope you know pokemon made an actual post asking team aqua and magma if water is important, its so good

---

LINK???

[shithowdy]

this is your periodic reminder that for all the artifacts and errors and "tells" one could possibly list, the only reliable way to actually determine if an image is ai generated is to investigate the source. it is becoming increasingly common for "fake classical paintings" to circulate around curative aesthetic blogs, and everyone should be using this as an opportunity to not only exercise their investigative skills but also appreciate art more in general. you're all checking out the artists you reblog, right? 🫣

so what are some signs to look for? let's use this very good example.

what a lovely late-impressionist piece blended with evocative leyendecker-esque themes! why haven't you ever heard of this artist before? surely tumblr would be all over an artist like this. who is justin brown?

your two options from here are to do a search for the name, or a reverse image search. i prefer reverse image searching, particularly when it comes to a common name like "justin brown". so what does that net?

Immediately, without looking at any text, something is wrong: it barely exists. an actual historical piece would turn up numerous results from websites individually discussing the piece, but no such discussions are taking place. Looking at the text, though, does show the source-- and at least in this case, the creator was honest about their medium.

But let's also look at the "exact matches", in case a source doesn't make itself apparent in the initial sidebar results like this.

This section will often tell you post dates of images, and here it can be seen that the very first iteration of the image was posted 15 days ago. It did not exist online prior to that.

Seeing how long an unsourced image has been floating around is a skill applicable to more than just generative images! See a cool image of an artifact or other intriguing item with a vivid caption? Reverse search it! If all the results are paired with that caption and only go back a few months, you might just have viral facebook spam.

Sometimes generative creators are dishonest about their medium and do not tag it like in the example, so that's when establishing "jpeg provenance" becomes important. While it can be a little trickier to determine if someone is using generative images and not admitting to it if they aren't trying to pass it off as a classic, something to consider is the age of their account and the frequency with which they post. Here are some account red flags:

-Did they only start posting art after 2022, or if they did before, did their style/skill level WILDLY change? Not gradual improvement-- I'm talking amateur graphite portraits straight into complex digital renders. Everyone starts somewhere, newness is not a red flag alone; it's newness combined with existing in a vacuum away from any community.

-Do they post fully-finished paintings several times a week? -Do many of these paintings seem iterative of a similar theme or subject matter ("three well-dressed young men face each other under shade and dappled sunlight")?

-Does their style change in inconsistent ways? An artist that can swap between painting like Drew Struzan and Hokusai should be pretty well known, right? Why is no one hyping this guy?!

-Do they have social media besides the source instagram? If so, what are they posting about? Are there any WIPs? Doodles? Interactions with other artists? Gallery dates? 3am self-doubt posts? Or is it all self-promo? Crypto? Seemingly nothing art-related at all for someone pushing out 3 weekly paintings?

Basically, if it's important to you to omit this stuff when you curate, please don't just smash reblog if the source doesn't seem to be the OP themselves. Seeking out sources was important even before this became an issue, now it is more than ever.

peace n love

[nathaslosthershit]

Media Interrogation [Part 2] (LN4)

(Read part 1 here!)

Summary: He had prayed the media would leave his newfound ‘friend’ out of their questions, only focusing on the race. But Lando Norris would soon see he wasn't so lucky.  A/N: I don't know how Twitch works so excuse the poorly explained streaming things.

A little less than two weeks after Lando had met his new neighbor, they had spent any time they could together, and any time they couldn’t they were texting and calling. It was exciting, they weren’t dating per se, still trying to get to know each other before they jumped into anything, but this newfound friendship had been great for both of them. Slowly, Lando had been introducing her to some of his friends, and with all the new faces, she didn’t feel half as lonely as she used to. 

It was wonderful.

He had warned her about the stream, leaving the details of him turning bright red, giggling, and Max admitting that Lando had called her his “cute neighbor” out. But, of course, after she spent far to long going through the #landonorris tag on various social media sites, she had found a clip of the interaction. Seeing how giddy he was about it, even after meeting her for only a minute, made her giddy as well, happy to know that it seems her feelings weren’t one sided.

He had invited her to the race, being as it was at Silverstone, but the thought of going there and meeting new people and being seen by the media so soon after her and Lando just met made her nervous, so she politely declined. 

Although he was a bit upset, he understood her reasoning. 

Before the race, Lando was with Oscar giving various interviews, with mostly race related questions. ‘How was the car feeling?’, ‘you think you guys can give Max a run for his money this weekend?’, etc. It was easy and he wasn’t worried about intrusive questions.

Until they opened it up to the fans.

When they said they’d take fan questions, Lando began to sweat. Beside him, Oscar let out a laugh, knowing what the first question was bound to be.

“Lando, it seems you made friends with you “cute neighbor” while streaming, have you guys talked more?” one of the fans asked.

Shit.

He probably should have warned her this would happen but, maybe it was wishful thinking, he hadn’t expected to be asked about it. And maybe his cute neighbor wasn’t even watching. 

“Uhhh” he said as he let out an awkward laugh, “Yeah, we have talked a bit more. The cookies were really good so I’ve been trying to get the recipe.” Lies, he hadn’t asked for the recipe, he just wanted her to make the cookies for him again.

“Is she your girlfriend?” Another fan yelled out.

There was a beat of silence from Lando, causing fans to laugh at his awkwardness around the situation. Oscar, now feeling bad for his teammate, jumped in.

“He shared some of the cookies with me too. He wasn’t kidding when he said they were really good. Might have to ask her to make me a batch.” Oscar jokes. 

Seeing as he wasn’t going to answer the girlfriend question, which wasn’t even a proper question as the fan just yelled it out instead of waiting to be picked, the interviewer moved on. 

He really hoped she wasn’t watching this.

She was totally watching this and enjoying every second.

It felt nice to see Lando blushing so profusely at the mention of her, which made her feel better for also blushing profusely when he talked about her.

Since she saw the stream, she had noticed he definitely had a bit of a crush on her, but she didn’t know how deep it went. If it was a tiny crush that was bound to fade as they became closer, or if this closeness was going to lead to an even bigger crush. Only a few weeks into their friendship though, and she had already fallen fast and hard.

She couldn’t do anything. She'd never do anything, even though she so badly wanted to. All her new friends were Lando’s, if he wasn’t as serious as she hoped about his feelings, it would crush her. She wouldn’t be able to stay friends with him and in turn would lose all the new friends she had made. 

So she vowed to not make the first move.

Eventually, three months had gone by and the pair only became more inseparable. Instead of planning mini vacations and trips between races, Lando always tried to get home so he could see his favorite neighbor, who he now knew he had massive feelings for.

She had started work and it was going great! Her worries about being alone if she lost Lando went away as she made more non-Norris-acquired friends. 

The two had also graduated to an even deeper level of intimacy. They weren’t sleeping together, or straight up kissing. But holding hands, cuddling, kisses on the cheek or forehead, were all normal for the pair. Sure it seemed so childish to dance around their feelings at their grown age but it's all they could do for now.

Baking had become a new hobby as well. Before moving, she couldn’t really say she was much of a baker, only doing it when it came to birthdays or bake sales. But with Lando becoming increasingly more obsessed with her cookies, she had started to branch out with other flavors, even throwing in muffins or a pie. 

She had just finished a new recipe her mom sent her, which were divine, when she knocked on Lando’s door, flashbacks to the first time they met those few months ago going through her head.

Lando, also like those few months ago, had been streaming when he got a knock on his door. Smiling to himself as he already knew who it would be, which the fans most certainly caught, he quickly excused himself to go open it. When he saw her there, he immediately pulled her into a hug.

“I’ve missed you.” He mumbled into her neck.

“You saw me yesterday.” She laughed, happy to know he missed her as much as she did him.

“Can’t blame me for wanting to see my favorite girl all the time.” He replied.

“Favorite girl, huh? It's an honor. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a title.” She teased.

“Your cookies, of course!” He said as he pulled back, when she shot him a look, he continued, “and your wonderful personality, and how great of company you are.”

“That's more like it. Speaking of, I tried a new recipe and, not to toot my own horn, these are the best yet.” She said as she grabbed the container of cookies from her bag.

“Yes! Thank goodness I was beginning to experience withdrawal. I am streaming right now, they are always asking about you since the- anyway, could I do a taste test? You can join me, I think the chat would love it. I would love it. But you don’t have to if-” He began to ramble, clearly feeling awkward at almost admitting just how much she is brought up on his streams.

“No, that sounds great! I definitely join.” She immediately regretted the words the moment they left her mouth but the look on Lando’s face stopped her from taking it back. He has lit up in a way she hadn’t seen and all she wanted to do was forever make him light up that way.

He quickly pulled her to his streaming room, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling her onto the screen. “I’ve returned with cookies, oh and of course a special guest. Guys, please don’t be weird. Be normal or I'll end the stream.” He joked, but also prayed that his fans would for once listen and try not to embarrass him for their own entertainment. He knew they wouldn’t listen though.

Immediately after saying that, someone donated and got their message read out loud,

‘Are you the cute girl that gave him cookies?’

“Uh I don’t know. That depends. How many cute girls give you cookies, Lan?” She teased.

“Oh hundreds, I am constantly drowning in sweet baked goods. My trainer hates me now.” He teased back.

“Then I guess I should take these back, don’t want to make your trainer even more mad.”

“Over my dead body. Seriously, you’d have to pry these out of my cold dead hands. Anyway, this is a taste test of a new recipe, as was explained to me ‘it's the best yet’. You guys can’t eat them obviously so I’ll try to be descriptive.” 

After one bite, Lando started moaning in a way that was uncomfortable for everyone except him. Her face had never felt hotter at the sounds he was making and she was far too scared to check to see if her face was as red as it felt.

Do you hear him make those noises a lot?

“Alright! I told you if you guys made it weird I’d end it, so you lost your privileges. Goodbye everyone, think about what you did.” Lando was kidding, his fans knew it, but it was a pretty crazy question to ask. Not that the chat cared.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting all that.” She said once he turned off the stream.

“I know, I’m sorry they get like that.” He replied, feeling bad that he hadn’t explained well enough what she should expect. 

“No, I thought they would be worse to be honest, I meant the moans you were making from my cookies.” “Oh come on they weren’t that crazy, and the cookie was amazing, I had to.”

“Lando, those noises were nothing short of erotic, I was worried how far you were going to go if you had another bite.” She teased.

They both laughed and after a few seconds, a beat of silence fell over them. As they looked into each other’s eyes, the energy in the room shifted. Finally, Lando spoke up.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

“Please,” She replied.

Explosions, fireworks, sparks, whatever you want to call it, they felt it. It was so cheesy but it was so electric, they couldn’t help but feel like they did in the movies.

After a much needed breather, before going in for more, Lando asked, “Let me take you out, properly, please? Like an actual date.”

“Only if it's not a seafood place, I’m allergic to fish.” 

“Good God, I’m gonna fall in love with you.”

[nonotnolan]

Trial Period

"Harry, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Blake's voice rang out through the apartment, though I couldn't quite tell why my roommate was currently mad at me. Still, if I didn't talk him down from whatever ledge he was on, he was just going to get more and more pissy. I sighed, and minimized the spreadsheet I was working on.

"Blake, you know I'm working from home today. Whatever you're mad about, you can come in here and talk to me about it. I'm sorry I left some dirty dishes in the sink, or whatever." He must have been mad, whatever I had done-- usually he waited until after he showered to talk to me.

He stomped into the living room so that he could stare down at me. "Oh no. You are in way more trouble than that. I just had the most interesting conversation at the gym today. Some beanpole fairy came up started flirting with me, and when I told him I didn't swing that way, guess what he did?" He paused, clearly waiting for me to confess to something, but I still had no idea why he was upset. "He pulled out his phone, and showed me a whole-ass conversation on Grindr with someone using my photos!"

I couldn't help but laugh, which certainly did not help him calm down. "Okay, and? Look, I'm sorry you got catfished, but I don't know why you're mad at me about it. You're trying to start a modeling career, right? It's one of the unfortunate risks of the job. I'm sorry that one of your Instagram followers has no sense of chill, but I don't see why that makes it my fault."

He shoved his phone into my face. "You see this photo? I downloaded it for a scheduled post, but it's from a gig that hasn't released yet. I'm not allowed to share any of those photos on social media until the magazine spread drops. You're the only other person who could have gotten onto my phone and grabbed it."

Well, that was a complication that I wasn't expecting. I stared at him, trying and failing to think of a loophole that sounded plausible. There was only one thing left to do. "Seth, I know you're in here," I said, loudly projecting my voice. "I know you wanted to try out a few different guys before you committed, but that's not gonna work anymore. The trial period is officially over. You broke it, you bought it. If you don't take Blake, he's going to ruin everything."

Blake scowled at me. "Who the fuck is Seth? Harry, what in the fuck is going on?"

"You're so cute when you're confused," I said, pinching his cheek. He was already pissed at me, I may as well go all out. Besides, I needed to give Seth enough time to prepare. "I'm not actually Harry. I haven't been for the last two weeks, not that you noticed. I'm actually a ghost who decided that this apartment would be a great place to find some new bodies to inhabit. And let's be honest, this whole complex is jam packed with hot, young studs like yourself." I couldn't help but flash an excited grin, and I think I might have let my real eyes flash for a few seconds. Well, whatever. I no longer needed to worry about keeping secrets from Blake.

I had clearly spooked him-- he started creeping backwards toward the door. "Harry, you're scaring me. That's not funny. Don't joke about that sort of thing, Harry. Just… fuck, delete that profile and promise me you won't do it again."

"Like I said, I'm not Harry," I said, grabbing my laptop bag and putting it in arm's length. I pulled out the mason jar that had Harry's soul in it, and placed it on the couch. "This is Harry. Or, what's left of him, anyway." Harry's soul fluttered around in a panic, banging into the glass walls as it tried to escape. Or maybe it was trying to warn Blake about what was about to happen next? It didn't really matter.

Blake had turned to run, but he didn't make it more than a few steps into the kitchen before he fell to the ground, as if something had slammed into his back. Seth hated possessing people using brute force, but his error hadn't left us with many other options. "Sorry for the close call, Phil," he said, adjusting his posture. Where Blake was constantly puffing his chest and arching his back, Seth had more of a forward slouch to his shoulders. It was a posture I was very familiar with-- regardless of the bodies we wore, we had been together long enough to recognize each other's presence.

"At least Blake has a good body," Seth said as he pulled himself up off the ground. "I was probably going to end up choosing this one anyway, to be honest." He started feeling up his chest, giving his nipples a few test pinches and letting out a soft moan. "Oh yeah, he's just as sensitive as I remembered. Do you have any spare jars in your bag? Obviously I didn't have time to put him to sleep before I possessed him, and he's just screaming non-stop in my head right now."

"Sounds like that's what you get for being careless," I said. "You know that helping you expel the soul is my favorite part. I'm not letting you rub one out in the bathroom, we're doing this the right way."

Seth pinched the bridge of his nose. "Come on, babe. You're at work for another five hours. I already said I was sorry, please don't force me to put up with the flesh owner for that long."

I closed my laptop and started unbuttoning my shirt. "Who said anything about waiting for me to get off work? No one tracks my activity as long as I get my work done on time." I leaned back and started groping Seth's hefty bulge. "Besides, we both know that Harry is trapped in a shit job. I bet we can get him something that pays way better."

He leaned over to give me a deep kiss. "You know, one of these days you'll get tired of turning your new hosts into porn stars," he said, as I grabbed one of the empty soul jars.

"Maybe so," I admitted. "But that day is not today. This body is wasted on white collar work. Anyway, you know the drill. Time for lube-- I want you to ride my cock while I sit here." He placed the jar underneath his hardening cock, ready to catch his load.

The first time we fucked in new bodies was always my favorite. Seth came first, coating the inside of the jar with a layer of jizz in addition to Blake's soul. I wasn't too far behind, since Harry's body was new to gay sex and still quite sensitive. I rolled off to the side and basked in the afterglow while Seth sealed the jar and placed it next to Harry's soul.

"Part of me still wants to be mad at you for almost ruining everything with that 'trial period' idea of yours," I said, as he laid down next to me to cuddle. "Next time we need to pick new hosts, we're picking one and done again. None of this trying out multiple bodies rubbish, it's too much risk."

Seth just smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. "Fine, no more shopping around, I promise. But you know you can't stay mad at me." As we laid there, holding each other tight, I had to admit that he was right.

[metanarrates]

Hello. Sorry if this a stupid question u can ignore if u want.

How can someone get better at media analysis? Besides obviously reading a lot.

Im asking this bc im in a point where im aware of my own lack of tools to analyze stories, but i don't know where to get them or how to get better in general. How did you learn to analyze media? There's any specific book, essay, author, etc that you recommend? Somewhere to start?

I'm asking you because you are genuinely the person who has the best takes on this site. Thank you for you work!

it sounds like a cop-out answer but it's always felt like a skill I acquired mostly thru reading a ton, and by paying a lot of attention in high school literature classes. because of that I can't promise that I'm necessarily equipped to be a good teacher or that i know good resources. HOWEVER! let me run some potential advice to you based on the shit i get a lot of mileage out of

first off, a lot of literary analysis is about pattern recognition! not just pattern recognition in-text, but out-of-text as well. how does this work relate to its genre? real-world history? does it have parallels between real-life situations? that kind of thing.

which is a big concept to just describe off the bat, so let me break it down further!

in literature, there is the concept of something called literary devices - they are some of the basic building blocks in how a story is delivered mechanically and via subtext. have you ever heard of a motif? that is a literary device. it's a pattern established in the text in order to further the storytelling! and here is a list of a ton of common literary devices - I'd recommend reading the article. it breaks down a lot of commonly used ones in prose and poetry and explains their usage.

personally, I don't find all the literary devices I've learned about in school to be the most useful to my analytical hobbies online. motifs, themes, and metaphors are useful and dissecting them can bring a lot to the table, but a lot of other devices are mostly like fun bonus trivia for me to notice when reading. however, memorizing those terms and trying to notice them in the things you read does have a distinct benefit - it encourages you to start noticing patterns, and to start thinking of the mechanical way a story is built. sure, thinking about how the prose is constructed might not help you understand the story much more, but it does make you start thinking about how things like prose contribute to the greater feeling of a piece, or how the formatting of a piece contributes to its overall narrative. you'll start developing this habit of picking out little things about a text, which is useful.

other forms of in-text pattern recognition can be about things like characterization! how does a character react to a certain situation? is it consistent with how they usually behave? what might that tell you about how they think? do they have tells that show when they're not being trustworthy? does their viewpoint always match what is happening on screen? what ideas do they have about how the world works? how are they influenced by other people in their lives? by social contexts that might exist? by situations that have affected them? (on that note, how do situations affect other situations?)

another one is just straight-up noticing themes in a work. is there a certain idea that keeps getting brought up? what is the work trying to say about that idea? if it's being brought up often, it's probably worth paying attention to!

that goes for any pattern, actually. if you notice something, it's worth thinking about why it might be there. try considering things like potential subtext, or what a technique might be trying to convey to a reader. even if you can't explain why every element of a text is there, you'll often gain something by trying to think about why something exists in a story.

^ sometimes the answer to that question is not always "because it's intentional" or even "because it was a good choice for the storytelling." authors frequently make choices that suck shit (I am a known complainer about choices that suck shit.) that's also worth thinking about. english classes won't encourage this line of thinking, because they're trying to get you to approach texts with intentional thought instead of writing them off. I appreciate that goal, genuinely, but I do think it hampers people's enthusiasm for analysis if they're not also being encouraged to analyze why they think something doesn't work well in a story. sometimes something sucks and it makes new students mad if they're not allowed to talk about it sucking! I'll get into that later - knowing how and why something doesn't work is also a valuable skill. being an informed and analytical hater will get you far in life.

so that's in-work literary analysis. id also recommend annotating your pages/pdfs or keeping a notebook if you want to close-read a work. keeping track of your thoughts while reading even if they're not "clever" or whatever encourages you to pay attention to a text and to draw patterns. it's very useful!

now, for out-of-work literary analysis! it's worth synthesizing something within its context. what social settings did this work come from? was it commenting on something in real life? is it responding to some aspects of history or current events? how does it relate to its genre? does it deviate from genre trends, commentate on them, or overall conform to its genre? where did the literary techniques it's using come from - does it have any big stylistic influences? is it referencing any other texts?

and if you don't know the answer to a bunch of these questions and want to know, RESEARCH IS YOUR FRIEND! look up historical events and social movements if you're reading a work from a place or time you're not familiar with. if you don't know much about a genre, look into what are considered common genre elements! see if you can find anyone talking about artistic movements, or read the texts that a work might be referencing! all of these things will give you a far more holistic view of a work.

as for your own personal reaction to & understanding of a work... so I've given the advice before that it's good to think about your own personal reactions to a story, and what you enjoy or dislike about it. while this is true that a lot of this is a baseline jumping-off point on how I personally conduct analysis, it's incomplete advice. you should not just be thinking about what you enjoy or dislike - you should also be thinking about why it works or doesn't work for you. if you've gotten a better grasp on story mechanics by practicing the types of pattern recognition i recognized above, you can start digging into how those storytelling techniques have affected you. did you enjoy this part of a story? what made it work well? what techniques built tension, or delivered well on conflict? what about if you thought it sucked? what aspects of storytelling might have failed?

sometimes the answer to this is highly subjective and personal. I'm slightly romance-averse because I am aromantic, so a lot of romance plots will simply bore me or actively annoy me. I try not to let that personal taste factor too much into serious critiques, though of course I will talk about why I find something boring and lament it wasn't done better lol. we're only human. just be aware of those personal taste quirks and factor them into analysis because it will help you be a bit more objective lol

but if it's not fully influenced by personal taste, you should get in the habit of building little theses about why a story affected you in a certain way. for example, "I felt bored and tired at this point in a plot, which may be due to poor pacing & handling of conflict." or "I felt excited at this point in the plot, because established tensions continued to get more complex and captured my interest." or "I liked this plot point because it iterated on an established theme in a way that brought interesting angles to how the story handled the theme." again, it's just a good way to think about how and why storytelling functions.

uh let's see what else. analysis is a collaborative activity! you can learn a lot from seeing how other people analyze! if you enjoy something a lot, try looking into scholarly articles on it, or youtube videos, or essays online! develop opinions also about how THOSE articles and essays etc conduct analysis, and why you might think those analyses are correct or incorrect! sometimes analyses suck shit and developing a counterargument will help you think harder about the topic in question! think about audience reactions and how those are created by the text! talk to friends! send asks to meta blogs you really like maybe sometimes

find angles of analysis that interest and excite you! if you're interested in feminist lenses on a work, or racial lenses, or philosophical lenses, look into how people conduct those sort of analyses on other works. (eg. search feminist analysis of hamlet, or something similar so you can learn how that style of analysis generally functions) and then try applying those lenses to the story you're looking at. a lot of analysts have a toolkit of lenses they tend to cycle through when approaching a new text - it might not be a bad idea to acquire a few favored lenses of your own.

also, most of my advice is literary advice, since you can broadly apply many skills you learn in literary analysis to any other form of storytelling, but if you're looking at another medium, like a game or cartoon, maybe look up some stuff about things like ludonarrative storytelling or visual storytelling! familiarizing yourself with the specific techniques common to a certain medium will only help you get better at understanding what you're seeing.

above all else, approach everything with intellectual curiosity and sincerity. even if you're sincerely curious about why something sucks, letting yourself gain information and potentially learning something new or being humbled in the process will help you grow. it's okay to not have all the answers, or to just be flat-out wrong sometimes. continuing to practice is a valuable intellectual pursuit even if it can mean feeling a tad stupid sometimes. don't be scared to ask questions. get comfortable sometimes with the fact that the answer you'll arrive at after a lot of thought and effort will be "I don't fully know." sometimes you don't know and that can be valuable in its own right!

thank you for the ask, and I hope you find this helpful!

[reader-lola]

A relaxing shower

Matt x reader | Warning: +18, female stimulation

The house was quiet. Matt and you were in his room resting comfortably. Your head resting on his shoulder while you both looked at your respective phones. The silence of the room kept you in a gratifying state of peace.

“Baby, are we going to take a shower?” Your boyfriend asks as he turns off his phone and gently places it on his nightstand. “Chris and Nick are about to arrive and we have to record a video.”

“Yeah, let’s go” You said turning off your phone in the process and getting ready for a comfortable shower, or at least that was what you thought without really knowing your boyfriend’s intentions.

You took off your clothes while Matt turned on the water. You started to put your hair up so as not to get it wet while he took off his clothes.

“Chris told me they’d be here in about 15 minutes, so he expects me to be ready to record much sooner. Sometimes his impatience drives me crazy.”

The water starts to wet your body and you see Matt grab the soap to start lathering you up. “Now he insists on rushing me to record every time, I don’t know why he gets so desperate.”

You were so focused on listening to your boyfriend’s voice and his new worries that you didn’t notice how his hand went down to your legs, making room for that part he liked so much.

“Matt…”

“Plus, I don’t know what’s going on with both of you uploading so many TikToks a week. You can’t expect that…” You stop hearing his voice the moment his finger starts making circles on your clitoris, sending electric currents throughout your body.” And they're also getting the fans used to that level of attention, when everyone knows I'm not that active on social media.” He inserted a finger inside you while with the other hand he directed the shower stream towards your center.

“Fuck Matt…” The sensations of pleasure swirled making you feel weak in your legs.

“Shhh, love, don't make noise, my brothers will arrive any minute.”

His finger entered and exited at a constant and calm rhythm. His calmness was making you nervous as he didn't give you as much as your body craved.

“Besides, I'm talking to you about my worries, you need to pay attention, like a good girlfriend.”

The fact that he was testing you in such a calm and peaceful way only managed to make you wetter than you already were.

His calm voice accompanied by the contrast of his fingers was putting you on edge. With the jet of water aimed at your clitoris, you only managed to open your mouth to emit silent moans, trying to remain silent as he had asked.

“Matt, I can't take it anymore…”

“So cum princess, I'm looking forward to it”

Without time to think, you listened to your boyfriend. A wave of pleasure filled you from head to toe. Your legs trembled at the sensation, accompanied by the shudder of your body.

“Well done, darling, now let's go out, my brothers are already waiting”

You weren't even aware of having heard them arrive, but after getting dressed and opening the bathroom door you confirmed it. Chris and Nick were sitting on the couch, probably waiting for Matt to record.

Chris's voice broke into the silence.

“And you didn't wait for me to shower with you? What a bad brother”

[mariclerc]

betrayal and rescue | cl16

Summary: your ex betrays you, but luckily your teammate has your back.

Warnings: angst, mentions of domestic abuse, ferrari driver!reader, single mom reader, fluff.

a/n: let me know if you like this!!

Your life as an F1 driver has been a massive roller coaster of emotions, but you don't deny that it has been the best adventure of your life... Being the first female driver in a long time in the category is a pretty big and important title, but no title is as important as being a mother.

In your second season in the category, and while you were racing for Haas, you became a mother in a way... not so pleasant, to say at least, but you will not deny that the love you feel for your little girl is enormous. And the atmosphere of familiarity that exists between the drivers is something very nice, since almost all of them were very attentive to you during your pregnancy, especially the one who would be your future teammate...

You are currently leaving the Ferrari hospitality with your three-year-old Mia, who is very loved by everyone in the paddock, when walking through the paddock you meet George Russell, he started playing with Mia.

“But hi there pretty ladies! Where are you going looking so pretty at night, huh?” he says with a little smile, Mia lets out a giggle.

“Dad! Eat!” Mia says happily.

George chuckled. “Are you going to eat your daddy? That's not very good Mia.”

You shake your head. “Oh, no, no George, her dad is here for the weekend and... well, he thought that the three of us should go out to eat.” you say softly.

“Oh, I hope you're doing well girls! See you tomorrow in qualifying y/n.” says George, saying goodbye with a hug and walking towards the Mercedes hospitality.

You and Mia walk towards the car that the team lent you to go around Melbourne, the truth is that things between you and your partner have not been on better terms, but because he wanted to have dinner with the two of you, you decided to give him a chance to see if he once and for all decides to be a good partner and a good father... But of course you had pretty high expectations and obviously he just kept screwing up more and more every single time...

Now you find yourself with Mia in the hotel room, the two of you had already had dinner but obviously your partner never showed up, you find yourself calling him incessantly while you caress the hair of a more than sleeping Mia, just so he doesn't answer you. A little tired of the situation you decide to check if he posted an update on his social media or something like that, which he did... He posted a photo having dinner with another woman. "What a pleasant surprise" you think.

Just when you thought about calling him back once again, there's a knock on the door. You hesitantly open it to find your partner standing there, looking a little guilty.

“Hey, I'm so sorry about earlier love... There was a lot of traffic and it was...” he said trying to smile.

You interrupt him with trembling voice. “I don't want your empty apology.” you speak up. “I saw you had a very important date with other woman instead of having the dinner you promised with your daughter and girlfriend as you promised.” you say harshly.

He step into the room. “No, no, let me explain...”

“There's nothing to explain! I'm tired of your incompetence as a partner and also as a father. I'm tired of all the damn abuse all this years!” you said raising your voice, which unleashed his fury. “I'm breaking up with you, and this time I won't have any mercy on you.”

He backed you against the wall, grabbing one of your wrists with his hand, his grip is quite strong. “You can't do this you little brat. You and that little shit are mine and only mine!”

“Let go of me!” you scream while struggling to break free.

Your partner's grip tightens once more on your wrist, and you start to cry out and scream for help, begging for someone to listen to you. Suddenly you hear the door of the room beside yours being opened abruptly, Charles, hearing the commotion, has gone out into the hallway, his face filled with concern by the cries that emanate from you.

“What's happening?” says Charles rushing towards you.

“It's none of your business you pretty face.” your partner says a little startled.

“Of course it's my problem, you're hurting her, you idiot.” says Charles protecting you.

Your partner gets angry and furious. “You think you can just...”

Charles pushes your partner back, and he stumbles against the wall. You collapse onto the floor, sobbing, you feel so lost and hopeless.

“Listen to me, you get close to either of them two again and I won't hesitate for a second to hit you, is that clear?” says Charles in a deep voice while looking towards your partner angrily, he nods in fear and slips out of the room like a coward. Then, Charles turns around and kneels beside you. “Are you okay, y/n?”

You nod, barely able to speak. “He... He was going to hurt me.”

He holds your hand tightly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don't know, not yet. I just... I can't.” you shake your head while you tremble.

He nodded understandingly. “I know and it's okay if you don't want to talk about it yet, it's a lot to take in. But you and Mia are safe now... I'm here for you.” he said while he pulled you into his arms.

“Thank you Charles, I don't know what I would do if you didn't came in.” you say as you bury your face in his chest.

He smiled and kissed the top of your head. “You're welcome y/n, you're so stronger.”

As you and Charles get up from the floor, Mia stirs awake, you pick her up and hold her close.

“Mommy!” she babbled happily, unaware of the situation.

Charles smiled at her. “She's a lucky girl to have you as her mommy.”

You smile shyly at him and he looks up to smile back. You never thought that the betrayal from your ex-partner and the comfort — or rescue, from your teammate would happen in the same night, maybe it doesn't bother you that Charles is the person who knows about this.

***

The next day you wake up super early to prepare for quali day, you get ready and carefully prepare Mia's bag with her stuff, you approach her bed and start giving her small kisses all over her face.

“It's time to wake up my little sunshine! The sun has already come out to play!” you say in a soft voice, she shifts in bed and babbles.

“Mommy...” she mumbled.

You stroke her hair. “My pretty girl, you have to wake up! Mommy has to go to work and you're going to spend some quality and fun time playing with Joris, you know? Charlie's friend.” you tell her that and she starts to squeeze her eyes and she finally wakes up.

Gently, you pick her up and take her to the bathroom where you bathe her carefully and dress her in a cute butterfly outfit. She smiles when she sees you combing her hair, she is a happy girl and you do what is necessary to give her a good life.

With everything ready, you two go down to the hotel buffet for breakfast, once you two had already chosen breakfast, you both sit at the same table as Charles.

He smiled as he saw the two of you coming towards him. “Good morning ladies, did you sleep well?”

You nodded. “A little bit, Mia woke up a few times, but it was okay.”

Mia smiled. “Hi Charlie!” she said while waving her hand.

He waved his hand. “Hi Mia!” he looked at her. “She's such a little sweetheart.”

You smiled back. “Yeah, she really is.”

As you all sit down and start to eat, you decide to tell Charles the full story of your relationship with your ex-partner, or at least a context of reason why last night's argument between your ex-partner and you happened.

You take a deep breath. “Charles, I... I want to tell you something.”

He looks at you with concern. “Sure, what is it?”

“It's... It's about my ex.” you say a little hesitant.

He nodded. “Go ahead, I'm listening.”

You start to speak, slowly. “Well... we met at a party a few years ago, he was charming and funny, and I was immediately attracted to him, I mean, I think it was more than obvious since that's where Mia came from... Although I think it didn't mean anything to him. We started dating, and everything seemed perfect.”

Charles nodded. “Sounds like a typical love story.”

You smile sadly. “He was charming and flattering at first, sweep me off my feet with compliments and gifts. But it didn't take long for the cracks to show.” you feel your voice trembling. “It was with little things at first - jealous comments if I spoke to other men, accusing me of cheating for no reason... Then the anger started, over smaller and smaller things, like throwing and breaking things during fights.”

Charles reached out, grasping your quivering hand in his steady one. You took comfort in his presence, continuing.

“When I found out that I was pregnant with Mia, at first he seemed happy... But that's when the physical abuse began.” your eyes welled with tears at the painful memories. “Pushing and shoving that left bruises, slapping me hard across the face when I 'talked back.' Kicking and punching me when he'd been drinking.”

A comfortable silence develops between the two of you, Charles was quiet for a moment, anger and sadness evident in his green eyes. After a while Charles decides to speak.

“I can't believe he did those things to you.” he says softly, he holds your hand softly. “You did nothing to deserve that, you and Mia... You both deserve so much better.”

“Me neither, but I thought he was different.” you sighed tiredly.

Charles takes your hand. “It's not your fault, he's the one who made the choice to cheat.” he caressed the back of your hand.

“I know, but still hurts.” you nodded.

Suddenly Mia decides to throw a small piece of watermelon to Charles, he lets out a giggle and puts the piece of watermelon in his mouth while smiling at her.

You giggled. “Oh, Mia, you're such a distraction.”

“Mama! Fruits!” she says while holding a small piece of strawberry in her little hand.

Charles chuckled. “She's a lifesaver.” he said while looking at her.

As you continue to eat and talk, you feel a sense of relief. Sharing your story with Charles has helped you to process your emotions and feel less alone.

His words, and steadfast support, can give you courage and hope that things would only get better from here on.

***

After qualifying, in which you will start 4th in the race, you and Mia were snuggled on the hotel bed watching a kids movie... But her little brow was furrowed in thought.

“Mommy? Where daddy?” she asked softly.

You sighed softly. “Daddy... he did some bad things... He won't be living with us anymore sweetie.”

Her lower lip trembled. “He yelled at mama?” she asked shyly.

Your heart ached at having to explain such adult problems to her. But somehow she deserved the truth.

“Daddy was mean sometimes to mama... But it's not your fault, sweetheart. Mommy and Charles will protect you now, okay?”

She nodded uncertainly just as a knock came, you opened it to find Charles with a little shy smile on his face.

“Hi y/n, just stopping by to see how you're doing?” he says softly.

“Well, everything is fine for now, just that...” you say a little quietly, you glanced back at Mia now distracted by the movie again. “She started asking about her father after last night... And I tried to explain it simply.”

“You did well, I'm sure!” Charles assured you while he cocked his head thoughtfully. “Have you thought more about what you'll do now? Do you have somewhere safe to stay?”

You hadn't thought about that situation, I mean, going back to the shared apartment you had with your ex is not the best idea, because it would mean going back to the same old routine, but you can't stay living in a hotel either...

You sighed heavily. “I've been trying not to think that far, I mean, my family is so far away, and I don't feel comfortable at my apartment anymore because, he would be there too, so...” you say while playing with your trembling hands.

Charles caught you trembling hands in his steady ones. “You don't need to worry about any of that. I want you both to stay with me, for as long as you need.”

You gazed into his kind eyes, feeling tears well up with gratitude. “Charles, are you sure? I don't want to be any trouble...”

He shake his head. “It would put my mind at ease knowing the two of you are protected and safe.” he insisted gently. “Please, let me do this for you... Both of you.”

His heartfelt offer was too much, and you broke down sobbing as he gathered you close to him. In that moment you knew you two had each found the strength and comfort you both desperately needed.

“Oh my... Charles, thank you... I.” you whispered and he smiled softly, he kissed your forehead.

“Don't worry about anything, you two are going to be okay.” he whispered and you nodded.

***

One week later...

After the Australian race weekend, Charles insisted on driving the two of you to his home to settle in. Pulling up the long driveway, you gazed at the spacious house nervously.

“Whoa, this is a little bit bigger than I expected.” you admitted shyly as Charles helped with your bags.

You were able to get all your belongings out of your now old apartment thanks to some friends who helped you recover all of your and Mia's belongings.

He smiled warmly. “I want you both to feel comfortable here, this is your home too now.”

Mia clung shyly to your leg as Charles gave you a home tour: the spacious bedrooms, well-stocked kitchen, and gorgeous backyard took your breath away.

“Mia, look - it's a playroom just for you! Isn't that amazing?” Charles said excitedly, her little face lit up and smiled at the toys and books.

In that moment, the tension eased from your shoulders. This house, and Charles' kindness, offered you two the safe haven you'd desperately sought.

That very first night, Charles cooked you two a decadent welcome meal as you helped Mia adjust to her new surroundings. She warmed up to Charles quickly thanks to his playful, gentle and caring nature.

Over the following days, Charles went out of his way to make you and Mia feel at home - helping decorate Mia's room, taking both of you shopping to refill the pantry, entertaining Mia for hours so you could have a well deserved rest.

His generosity and compassion left you in awe, because, despite of being your teammate, the famous athlete that could have any woman, yet he chose to open his heart and home to a struggling single mother and daughter.

As the few weeks passed, you found yourself smiling and laughing more than you had in years. Mia bloomed under Charles' care, and you felt falling for this beautiful soul who gave you both everything without question or complaint.

One night over a candlelit dinner, Charles took your hand gently and gazed into your eyes. “I know this is so fast, but... my heart is yours, if you want to have it.”

Tears filled your eyes, you smiled and squeezed his hand, for the first time, your future seemed full of hope, happiness, and the love you knew that both of you really deserved.

***

You and Charles had been cautiously exploring a romantic relationship over the past few weeks. And him, being true to his word, he never pressed or rushed you at all, he's happy to take things at whatever pace you desired.

One sunny afternoon, you were reading in the bedroom when laughter and giggles floated in from outside. Stepping onto the balcony, your heart swelled at the sight before you...

Charles lay relaxing on a lounge chair, Mia snuggled contentedly on his chest, he popped slices of strawberry into her smiling mouth between fits of giggles.

“There's ma petite princesse!” Charles cooed, tapping her nose playfully and she beamed up at him, her hazel eyes sparkling. (my little princess)

Mia smiled. “Princess!” she says with her mouth full with strawberries and Charles nodded.

Charles looks up from Mia and looks at you, tilting his head back with a radiant smile.

“Mon coeur, come join us!” he patted the space beside him invitingly. (my heart)

You settled in under his strong arm with a sigh, stealing a grape from the fruit bowl and Charles pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.

Mia babbled happily about the cartoons they'd been watching and Charles listened with rapt attention, praising her vivid and creative imagination.

You gazed between them, heart full to bursting. Here in this perfect little moment, surrounded by the love and acceptance of this wonderful man, you felt yourself starting to heal.

While the circumstances weren't simple or traditional, Charles made your unconventional little family feel like the most natural thing in the world with his unwavering devotion. For the first time in years, you began to let yourself believe that you both deserved all the joy and happiness you found in each other's arms.

[fuyuu-chan]

Snuggling To Keep You Warm

Characters: Neuvillette, Kamisato Ayato, Vyn Richter, Jing yuan, Sung Jinwoo (+ some characters you like or you think fit)

Genre: Fluff

Fuyuu-chan: idk why i suddenly stopped posting when i have a lot of fics in my drafts 😭 maybe because i feel lazy lol

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

You just hopped into shower and just started when the water turned cold out of nowhere not to mention in a cold weather. You contemplated for a minute before deciding to continue, no choice as the heater isn't heating the water and you're already wet since first its hot water but it betrayed you so you decided to take the cold shower now. You dry off your body and hair all while shivering. I mean who wouldn't after taking an ice cold shower?

After dressing into comfy clothes and finishing your routine. You went to his office and asked if you could cuddle, he invite you to seat on his lap as he hugged you. Asking what happened.

"I'm cold, I took a cold shower since the heater decided to betray me" you answered.

"Oh? Why didn't you tell me about the heater?" He asked as he brushed your hair.

"Well you're working and I don't wanna bother you" you said as you snuggled.

"Y'know I would drop anything just for you right?" he asked as he held you a bit tight.

You hummed. "Can I stay here?" you asked as you peeked at him. "Of course, anytime besides is that even a question?" he answered as he put your head back onto his shoulder for you to lean on. "Do you want us to go to the couch? It will be more comfortable for you, we could also watch something while we're at it" he added. "Hmm but you're working?" You asked.

"Nah I just finished besides I wanna cuddle you" he answered.

"Okay then" you nod because you love hanging out in his office, its comfortable and the couch too. He carried you to the couch and placed you down. "Stay here, i'll make us some hot drink, it will help on getting your body warm again"

"Alright" you said. He kissed your forehead all while smiling before he left to go to the kitchen. You were playing on your phone when you start feeling cold again, you got up and decided to grab a blanket from your room. You exit his office and was heading to the room when you saw him coming back to the office. "(name)? where are you going?" he asked as he was holding a tray containing two cups filled with hot drink and some snacks.

"I'm still cold, just gonna grab a blanket, you go ahead" you replied as you smiled and he nods. You quickly go to your room and took a blanket before going back to his office. Inside, the tray he was carrying earlier was now in the coffee table, and there he sat at the couch waiting for you while scrolling down picking your favorite show so it will be ready. "I'm back" you said as you sat beside him draping the blanket on both of your laps.

"Welcome back, are you ready?" He said and you nod eagerly. He took both cups handing one to you as he put his arms around your shoulder after playing the show. After watching some few episodes you fall asleep as your head fall onto his shoulder, feeling your head on his shoulder he lean on top of your head as he pulled you closer to him and grabbing the blanket up to both of your shoulders covering the two of you.

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you.

[multiland]

summary: They say people turn into their most vulnerable selves in the middle of the night, can you trust yourself at 3 a.m. to keep hiding the crush you've been harboring on your friend?

pairing: Joshua x female reader (ft. best friend Jeonghan and the rest of svt)

genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut.

warnings: kissing, tension, fingering, a bit of oral (m), mutual pining, cursing, mentions of alcohol, Joshua being oblivious, soft dom Joshua, body worshipping, dirty talk, unprotected sex. Shua is the sweetest. This was an old fic I wrote for another group, so I decided to take it and edit it enough to use it again.

please leave some feedback!! it motivates me a lot🩷

word count: 12k

You’ve heard a lot of good things about turning twenty-seven, and despite you not being the biggest fan of celebrating your birthdays, you weren’t surprised the moment your group of friends decided to book a trip to celebrate properly.

Consisting of mostly males, you’re used to them taking every opportunity to drink and throw parties. However, since spending time with them is fun and makes you happy, you would never actually complain.

"Do you think it's gonna be like, really cold out there?" That's the main question spinning around your head as you stare at your open closet, still debating on which pieces of clothing are the ones that should be packed.

Jeonghan, who's sprawled on your bed with his back against the headboard as he scrolls through social media, hums, not looking up.

He’s been your best friend since high school. You had heard about him back then due to his prince-like appearance, and him unsurprisingly having every single girl wrapped around his finger. Funny enough, and seemingly accustomed to the attention, he never really batted an eye at any of them. Despite being aware of his almost-unrealistic beauty, you didn’t really gave much thought to anything related to him besides whatever you’d hear the girls fussing about across the corridors. 

But then, on a good day, you found each other rolling your eyes at the same girl’s annoying tone of voice, the two of you realized and even chuckled. It was an instant click and you’ve been inseparable since then. 

A perfect balance between being different but so similar at the same time. You truly didn’t believe in soulmates, but turns out you can find one in the shape of a friend.

It had never occurred to you, however, that befriending the prince of school would instantly make you part of a much bigger group of, admittedly, really good-looking guys and girls when you started college.

That’s what brings you here.

"What do you think, Sherlock?" He quirks a brow, as he glances up in your direction. "We're going to the mountains, there's no way it's gonna be hot up there unless it’s like, a volcano."

An annoyed sigh falls past your lips as you roll your eyes at his antics, grabbing different styles of sweaters, hoodies, jackets, and all that could be of use in such weather. Turning around, you carefully fold your clothes and place them into the opened suitcase at the edge of the bed.

"Please remind me. Why were we going to the mountains instead of the beach, again?" 

Jeonghan's lips curl up in a soft smirk, locking his phone and tossing it to the side before his eyes land on yours.

"Because going to the beach is too basic. We always go to the beach."

"So all of you just decided to go on a trip to the cold ass mountains and rent wooden cabins in the middle of April in the name of… What? Eccentricity?" You narrow your eyes. "Yeah. Sounds like something my group of friends would do."

The man chuckles.

"Don't be a brat. You didn't have to pay for anything, this is your birthday gift from us, and all you have to do is look pretty and try to get your grumpy ass to have fun." 

You fold your arms over your chest, raising a brow at his words.

"Yeah, sounds like my dream holiday having to babysit drunk adults."

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head.

"Look, complain all you want once we’re back. Let’s not ruin the mood." He insists. "Besides, since it's your birthday, you can avoid all kinds of responsibilities. But you don't tell them I told you that or i’ll make sure to bring Soonyoung to your bed when he’s drunk and crying."

Panic instantly crosses your features.

“My lips are totally sealed.” It's a promise, gesturing to zip them with your fingers.

Plopping yourself down onto the mattress, you lay your head on Jeonghan’s lap. His slender fingers immediately fly to thread in your hair, gentle scraps on your scalp relaxing your body.

"Then, does that mean you're gonna take care of them for me?" You ask, looking up at his face in hope, trying your best puppy eyes just to guilt trip him.

Jeonghan scoffs.

"Me? No way. I did it once and ended up having both Seokmin and Soonyoung sneaking into my bed. Soonyoung kept crying and Seokmin just laughed at him. They were so loud I had to leave the room. Not to mention I had to wash the damn sheets cause one of them vomited in the middle of the night."

Grimacing at the thought, you really try not to laugh at the same time.

“Sounds like a ride.” You tease. "What about Seungkwan?"

Dark eyes glare down at you.

"He was sleeping peacefully in his bed."

"Why didn't one of them go to his bed?"

Sighing, he says: "I didn’t let them move. Having these two drunk is one thing, having these two drunk and Seungkwan cursing at the top of his lungs at three in the morning is something entirely different. We’ve had complaints from the neighbors."

"Yeah… I wouldn’t risk it, either."

Then, he chuckles.

"The best option is leaving them to either Cheol or Minghao." You nod in agreement, “Preferably Cheol. Hao doesn’t have that much patience after a while.”

Right after, his phone goes off and he checks the incoming message. "Well, here we go again." He comments, taking a deep breath before pressing the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Your eyes open, brows knitting together as you sit up.

"What's up?"

"Soonyoung was betting with Seokmin and got his head stuck somewhere around the park fence." He explains, "Gotta go. Sorry."

He stands up, and you can do nothing but smile sympathetically at him.

"Good luck with that." With the same smile, you pat his arm. He steps forward and flicks on your forehead with his fingers, before walking to the door. You groan in response, rubbing the sore area.

"Don't forget the vans will be here at 7 a.m."

Right. You need to act like an early bird, and your first reaction to the reminder is a groan.

"How many times do I have to say I’m not a morning person?"

“The same amount of times I have to tell Soonyoung to keep his head out of any kind of holes.” He adds, waving one last time before finally exiting your room.

As soon as he leaves, you let out a big sigh. Truthfully, you’re intrigued by how this trip is going to be, and you kinda know for sure sleeping’s gonna be a challenge.

The sound of your alarm pulls you out of the slumber you worked so hard to get in. Groaning, you stretch out your arm to stop the torture from continuing any further. Your lids don’t seem to cooperate, too tired and heavy to open and making you question if you really need to go on that trip to begin with. You could just call them and say you woke up feeling ill and you can’t leave the house while being sick, right?

As if on cue, you instantly have Jeonghan’s voice resonating in your head, telling you all the possible consequences of you bailing everyone when everything’s ready. All the ways he would blackmail you into getting up, in short.

So after taking a deep breath and stretching your limbs once again, you pull the duvet off of you and stand up, dragging your feet sleepily towards the bathroom to take a shower and get as ready as you can actually be.

Admittedly, you took longer than you should have thanks to all the times you dozed off in the shower, and that’s exactly what’s making you rush as your phone keeps buzzing incessantly against the marbled sink, with incoming calls from your best friend.

You can’t even make yourself look presentable at this point, messily throwing your clothes on and grabbing your luggage to drag downstairs, your hair still dripping wet.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You exclaim, picking up one of his calls, and then hanging up before you could even get a response from the other side of the line.

Turning the lights off, you open the front door and place the luggage down to close the entrance, trying to catch your breath, cause for fuck’s sake, you’re still sleepy, it’s early in the morning and you already not only had to run downstairs, but also carry such a heavy suitcase on your own…Cause if you’re being honest, you probably packed more than what you needed for a weekend-long trip.

The sound of the van’s door sliding open can be heard from behind, as you lock the door. The wet droplets falling from your hair dampen your shirt and make you shiver. However, nothing prepares your body for the reaction it gets as soon as you turn around and see him.

Standing there, perfect silky hair dangling over his eyes and curling up at the nape of his neck. Sparkly round orbits narrowed in a try to protect themselves from the inclement rays of sunshine, and pretty lips forming the sweetest tight-lipped smile you could’ve dreamed to have seen this early in the morning. Your heart skips a bit, and all the sleepiness washes away; all of this before you can even stop yourself from returning the gesture.

Joshua Hong. You met him one of those times when Jeonghan had dragged you to a small gathering with his friends, then finding him at the nearest convenience store you had from your job.

As soon as you saw him, you were instantly smitten. His doe eyes, cute nose, and sweet voice made the air get stuck in your throat. And as if being so incredibly pretty-faced wasn’t enough, there’s the plus of such a warm personality.

What at first started off as simple acquaitances with friends in common, slowly blossomed into a friendship. Joshua was often who spent time with you at parties, whenever Jeonghan was busy either playing alcohol games, or arguing over something random with someone else. He was also who you found at the book store in search of some kind of book so you could learn how to bake cupcakes in your sugar craving nights. He is, also, someone you feel totally comfortable with, someone selfless who never judges anyone. Someone with a view of the world in a positive light, a free spirit that only encourages you to be true to yourself and accept others as they are. 

All the times you’ve felt out of place, or simply aren’t in the mood to do anything at all, there he is to sit with you and listen to all your rants with that sweet smile adorning his face, just as if you were telling him the most interesting of stories.

He’s a music enthusiast. Likes to play guitar and morning walks to clear his mind. Such sunchild like him was able to charm a moonchild like you. So different, but so similar at the same time.

Despite that, the two of you ended up having more things in common than you could’ve expected. None of you like confrontation, and often prefer spontaneity. Both enjoy rainy days, and spending time at home in front of a fireplace when winter arrives. He’s a gentleman, never speaks over anyone and rarely raises his voice. He’s patient, and always makes you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk.

All those little things did nothing but irremediably attract you, feel nothing but admiration towards the way he sees life and empathizes with you or others.

He’s sweet, and fun to be around. With a sweet laugh and authenticity, the way he’s so soft-spoken and the way he never hesitates to offer help with chores, he’s domestic, so down to earth, nothing short of a prince. A good friend, a good listener, and in truth, you could’ve considered him one of your closest friends if it wasn’t for a simple reason… As a best friend, you have Jeonghan for. In his case, you have a big, fat crush on. So, although sharing a lot of time together, you just can’t help the way your heart flutters whenever he’s around. With a friend you share teasing, pranks, messiness… With Joshua, you share peace, comfort.

The already too-long list of traits to make you fall for someone has had his name highlighted for a while, and it seems that he always finds a new way to make you fall even deeper. 

Like that day he sang his favorite song in front of you with his guitar in hand. You knew back then you were done for.

This crush you have on him is something you’ve been harboring, keeping to yourself as a precious secret, cause yeah, he’s your friend, but also if the way you look at him when he’s not even doing anything doesn’t give you away, then maybe everyone else is just oblivious.

Joshua makes his way over to you and your heart races. God, he looks so good and you look like you just rolled off your bed and fell into a puddle.

He smiles again and leans down to pick your suitcase, looking into your eyes as soon as he stands up back straight.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“Morning, Shua. I’m doing good, what about you?” Greet him back, a simple task it should be. But your voice betrays you and comes out in almost a whisper. Since you can't make it obvious, you gnaw at your lower lip in embarrassment. However, Joshua being Joshua, pays no mind.

“I’m great, thank you. Let me help you with this.”

And they say chivalry is dead. Your lips form a smile, following behind him on the way to the van.

“Thank you.” You say softly, stopping behind him as he places your luggage somewhere with the rest of the suitcases.

“My pleasure.”

You flinch when the van parked behind suddenly opens its door, and the next thing you hear is your name being called from the inside. The voices of Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Chan, who you find waving at you as soon as you turn your head. With a chuckle, you wave back at them, gesturing with your hand for them to stop the noise before someone gets mad right after.

Joshua meets your gaze when you look back, and gestures with his head for you to get in. You smile again because that’s all you can do when he’s around.

Then you hop in the vehicle and Jeonghan waves at you from the last row of seats at the back. Making your way over, you keep the same small smile, noticing the sleeping boys across the other seats before you plop down next to your friend.

The door closes right after Joshua hops back in, and you’re stealing glances at him until the man next to you grabs your face between his fingers and turns your head to look at him. He frowns.

“Any reason in particular why you’re soaking?”

Your brows knit together, and he releases you.

“Just felt like getting refreshed.”

Your best friend snorts, and you shoot him a glare in return.

“You fell asleep in the shower, didn’t you?”

“Shut up.”

He giggles, and you decide to ignore him as the car starts moving, fastening your seatbelt. It doesn't take long until your eyes fly back to the object of your desires.

You don’t know how you’re gonna survive being so close to him.

Three hours into the road trip and you’re sleeping soundly against Jeonghan’s shoulder while he scrolls through his phone. The van comes to a stop, so everyone is able to go to the bathroom or buy more snacks. Some of the boys are gathering outside before Jun approaches Seungcheol and Joshua.

“Hey, do you guys think I could move to your van? My seatbelt isn’t working and I’ve been panicking over every single bump on the road for like three hours, I’m exhausted.”

Seungcheol and Joshua laugh.

“Why would you wait three hours to say anything?” Seungcheol asks, tilting his head in confusion. Jun’s brows furrow together before he says:

“What else was I supposed to do? Stop the van in the middle of nowhere?”

“You could’ve called me and I would’ve asked the driver to pull over to take care of it.” The eldest shrugs, Jun groans.

“Can I go to your van or not?”

Seungcheol looks at Joshua, who shrugs as he sips on his water bottle.

“Sure, I can move to the last row.”

Jun smiles with his thumbs up before they make their way back to the van. Junhui goes to the other vehicle to take his pillow and bring it with him. Joshua, once inside, grabs some of his stuff and walks toward the back of the car. Seeing you asleep as the corners of his mouth curl up in the most subtle smile at the scene, right when Jeonghan looks up at him in question.

“Jun is moving to this van.” He says quietly as if reading the male's mind. Jeonghan nods and goes back to his business.

The slender Junhui finally hops into the van with his stuff, taking Joshua’s previous seat and fastening his seatbelt. The door slides closed and Joshua secures himself as well, tucking his AirPods in his ears and playing his music.

Everything is peaceful for the next thirty or so minutes, Joshua is currently with his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat, head back resting against the headrest as his mind focuses only on the music.

But then, you stir in your sleep and move to lean your head on his shoulder. His body tenses as soon as he feels your sudden proximity, face nuzzling in the crook of his neck and forcing him to gulp. He starts playing with his own fingers, averting his gaze from the window, not really knowing how to react. He waits for you to realize, but soon notices you’re still deeply asleep, so he lets you stay there for the rest of the road.

“Hey, wake up, we arrived,” Jeonghan calls, gently shaking you. “Hey, open your eyes,” He repeats, and you’re finally woken up, sitting straight and rubbing your eyes to help them get used to the light.

Disoriented for a moment, the gears in your brain slowly start to work at their normal speed. You stretch out your now sore limbs as you look at your surroundings. All the boys left their vans except you, Jeonghan trying to wake you up, and Joshua, whom you notice is still seated beside you. You frown, but he smiles.

“Wait, weren’t you sitting in the front row? What did I miss? How long did I sleep?”

He chuckles, charmed by your utter confusion.

“Well, yeah, but Jun moved to this van. You would’ve noticed if you hadn’t been sleeping for four hours,” Jeonghan is the one to respond, grabbing your hands and pulling you up.

“Four hours?!” You exclaim, rubbing your eyes. 

The faintest grunt manages to be hidden from you, and all of you three make your way to exit the van. Jeonghan is the first one to jump out, followed by Joshua. Your vision is still blurry and you’re still clumsy from the grogginess, which doesn’t make the calculation between the van and the floor an easy task.

Joshua notices, so he extends his hand for you to take. You look at it, then at his face. He offers you yet another gentle smile and your stomach flips even in your current state. Still, you smile back and accept his hand, clasping yours around it as he helps you land on your feet without an issue.

You reunite with the rest of the guys soon after, and they’re quick to erase any trace of tiredness as soon as they start being their loud selves, taking turns to hug you or pat your head.

And well, you don’t complain, because it’s nice to have all of them around.

You take a second to look at your surroundings, but the air is way too filled with haze to be able to distinguish anything at all. The cold breeze chills you to the bone and you start to feel the urge to get into to the warmth of the cabin, and as if your prayers had been heard, you spot Seungcheol walking with a few pairs of keys and two girls in their twenties following behind him.

“Okay. So,  we have four cabins at our disposition. In the first one will stay Minghao, Seokmin, Vernon and Jihoon. Junhui, Chan, Seungkwan and Soonyoung in the second one, Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Mingyu in the third, and lastly, the fourth one is for Joshua, myself, and our girl here.” He explains. “They the hosts, Jihye and Jangmi.”

The ground beneath you quakes at the thought of sharing a place with Joshua himself, breath hitching in your throat and mouth going dry. Your eyes nervously travel to the two girls in front of you, as if asking for help. They don't help you, but they also seem very welcoming and kind.

“Hi, I’m Jihye. We live here in a house that’s around the corner, and we’ll gladly be available for anything you may need.” She smiles. “The four cabins are equipped with furniture, fireplaces, kitchens, two bathrooms, and four rooms respectively. Each room has a TV, a heater, a desk, and a closet for you to place all of your items.”

“In the living room you’ll find the fireplace, comfortable couches, and even a sofa bed. In the kitchen, you have a small dining table, a microwave, a refrigerator, and different kinds of utensils for you to use,” The second girl adds. “Here in the common areas, you have some benches, picnic tables, and grillers. We also have wifi and my name is Jangmi, by the way.” She chuckles, and all of you laugh along.”

“Also, the bathrooms have a water heater and a first aid kit inside the cabinets. If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to reach out and we’ll be happy to help.” Continues Jihye, with a kind smile.

All of you bow in gratitude for their help, right before Soonyoung speaks.

“Are you aware that we’re throwing a party tomorrow night?” He asks in genuine curiosity, Jihye nods.

“Yeah, we’ve been notified and you don’t have to worry about anything. Since we’re in a mountain, there shouldn’t be a problem when it comes to music, for example.”

“Cool!”

“Okay but, I have a question.” You finally speak, feeling everyone’s eyes landing on you. You clear your throat. “Would it be weird if I asked you to join?”

Certainly, you don’t know these girls, but they seem very sweet and it would be awful of you not to, at least, ask them if they’d like to join when they’re so close.

“Oh that’s alright! You don’t have to.” One of them says, waving her hand dismissively.

“But we’d love it if you joined us,” Seokmin says, walking to you and placing his arm around your neck. “It’ll be fun.”

All of them agree, and the girls seem a bit taken aback, you suppose they’ve never been included in anything similar when it comes to tourists. But then, and after a quick glance to one another, they smile.

“If that’s okay with you, we’d love to.”

You smile at them.

“Then it’s settled up.”

Needless to say, you didn’t take long to stop by Jeonghan’s cabin. After taking a much-needed shower and getting diner, you dressed in your coziest pajamas and exited your place to visit your best friend.

And there you are, sprawled across his bed as he sits on the chair in front of the desk.

Staring up at the ceiling fan, you blurt out:

“I was hoping we’d stay at the same cabin.”

“Don’t pretend like you like me that much.” Jeonghan promptly responds. Teasing you as you prop yourself up with your elbows to glare at him. “You have the Hong Jisoo himself in there, what else could you ask for as a birthday gift?”

A faint gasp escapes you, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. He laughs out loud.

“Shut the fuck up, would you?” You whisper-shout, crawling to the edge of the bed to get closer. He tries to stop laughing but your distressed expression makes it impossible for him. “I shouldn’t have said anything to you. No one’s supposed to know.”

“Yeah, because no one would ever notice the way you shamelessly keep staring at him.”

“You’re exaggerating.” You groan, smacking his thigh while he continues laughing. “Cut it out, you asshole.”

His laugh slowly dies down, then he catches his breath.

“Anyway… Not the point.” He continues. “He’s going to be in the room across from yours. Would you really want to have me there instead of him?”

There it is. That stupid look with a quirked brow. He really knows you well.

You groan, covering your face with your palms before laying down on your back.

“You’re so fucking annoying”

“I wonder how you’ll react when I tell you that you slept on him for over an hour.”

Eyes flying open, you almost fall off the bed.

“What did you say?! What the fuck? I did not, you always like to see me distressed. You’re fucking with me.” Embarrassment floods inside you, grabbing another pillow to repeatedly hit him with it as a coping mechanism.

Jeonghan once again laughs at your reaction, covering himself with his arms before snatching the pillow away.

“Stop it with the damned pillow.” He groans. “And no, I’m not lying. Though I do love the way you’re losing your shit.”

“How am I supposed to look at him whe-” You trail off, “Wait, did I drool? Snore? Fart?” Jeonghan laughs again. “Stop laughing for fuck’s sake, Yoon Jeonghan. I’m going to bite your head off!”

“God you’re so dramatic.” He chuckles. “Nothing big, he’ll understand if you’re a bit gassy.”

“What?!”

He laughs out loud again.

“I’m just kidding. You didn’t do anything.”

“What kind of best friend are you?”

“The one you chose, sweetheart.” He teases, grabbing your chin with his fingers and winking at you. You roll your eyes, then smack his hand away.

The door opens right after, and Vernon's head pops in.

“Hey, wanna watch a movie with us?”

“Who are ‘us’?” You ask in return.

“Ehh… I don’t know? Kwan, Chan, Hao, Jun, Joshua… Me?” He shrugs. “Most of us.”

Giving it a thought, you end up realizing you don't truly feel like making a fool of yourself any further, so you smile and shake your head.

“I think I’ll pass. I have to unpack and I’m feeling tired.”

“Sure. See you tomorrow then.” Vernon smiles, waving before closing the door.

Jeonghan gives you a suspicious look.

“What?”

“You slept the whole road and you’re tired?”

“Well, yeah… Panicking is exhausting.” You respond, gaining a roll of his eyes in return. “I’ll go to my room and think about my life decisions. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”  You add, walking towards the door.

“Sure, just know I’ll tell Joshua you didn’t stay because of him.”

You glare back at your best friend. He laughs.

“Make sure I don’t touch your coffee in the morning, Yoon Jeonghan”

You’re snuggled up in the warmth of the designated bed, sleeping peacefully until the door slams open and a bunch of men enter the room singing very loudly a happy birthday.

A groan erupts from your throat against the pillow, lights being turned on before you can even sit up and rub your eyes to adjust to the sudden illuminance. The cheerful idiots continue singing off key on purpose, clapping as Seungcheol walks to you with a cake in his hands, candles already lit and ready for you to blow off.

You can’t help but smile at the sweet gesture, though, running your fingers through your hair in a failed try to look a little less disheveled. Jeonghan jumps onto the opposite end of your bed, kneeling as he also sings and claps. Soonyoung, on the other hand, climbs onto the edge of the mattress just to sing louder and start throwing some improvised confetti. They continue hollering, clapping, and overall being a mess. Then you make a wish, blowing the candles out right after. Lazy smile on your face, clapping along with them.

“Happy birthday!”

“Thank you, guys. If it wasn’t for the gesture, I would’ve murdered all of you for waking me up.” You sarcastically say, accepting the knife Seungcheol hands you and cutting a small piece of cake.

“Aren’t you eating?” Chan asks from behind, you shake your head.

“You guys eat first. I still have to wash up.”

With that, Seokmin takes the cake away from you and exits the room with some of the guys following behind.

“We still have to go grocery shopping for tonight,” Seungcheol says.

“Yeah, I can go with Jeonghan.”

“I’ll go too. Jihye is going to come with us to be a guide,” Cheol adds. “Do you wanna join, Shua?” He asks the man standing next to him, the same one whose presence you hadn’t noticed until now. A sudden wave of embarrassment flows throughout you, considering the way you look, cheeks warming up when he smiles.

“Sure, no problem.”

“Okay then we’ll meet outside in thirty minutes,” Seungcheol adds. Stepping closer, he pats your head lovingly. “Happy birthday, once again.”

You mumble a “Thank you.” at him, eyes briefly glancing over at Joshua, who only gives you another one of his gentle and reassuring smiles before walking out of the room.

Jeonghan is quick to engulf you in a hug, a hand stroking the hair at the back of your head.

“You’re an oldie now.” He mutters against your head. “Can you feel your thirties breathing on your neck yet?"

You roll your eyes and push him away, glaring at him. He chuckles.

“Get out, I have to take a shower.”

“Right, sleeping beauty.” He leaves another caress on your head accompanied by a soft smile, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth, that dragon breath will even scare the demons away.”

Covering your mouth with your hands, your face is soon face filled with distress.

“Jeonghan!”

He laughs loudly, standing up and making his way towards the door.

“Just kidding, see you later.” He shuts the door closed behind him after a very obnoxious wink.

Air fills up your lungs with a deep breath, Jeonghan's comment sobering you up immediately and forcing you to hurry off the bed to get into the bathroom, take a shower and get dressed.

As soon as you’re ready, you grab a scarf from the closet, then your phone to make your way out of the cabin, not before stealing a very much needed piece of cake.

The sunlight greets you when you walk through the door, its usual warmth doing nothing in contrast to the freezing air that collides against the exposed skin of your face. You’re quick to wrap the scarf around your neck, boots dragging across the grassy ground as you pull your phone out to of your pocket to send Jeonghan a message.

A sigh leaves your lips, and you're shoving your phone back into your pocket the moment you find Joshua already standing there, hands in his pockets and fluffy hair shining under the sunlight.

He's craning his neck as soon as he notices your presence, smiling at you.

“Good morning, again.” 

“Nice seeing you again, birthday girl.” He greets you back, stepping closer and patting your head sweetly. His touch is gentle, way more gentle than Jeonghan’s or any others. He’s careful and sweet. Still, you chuckle to not make it weird.

“It's like I'm a like a dog. Everyone’s been patting my head today.”

Joshua chuckles, a small cloud of fog escaping from his lips to remind you of the cold surroundings, even when you seem to have forgotten about it with the heat in your veins.

“I’m sorry, we are really annoying.”

Laughing, you shake your head.

“No, no. It’s okay, I don’t mind.” You assure, wishing you could add how you’re especially fond of his gentle touches. “I know that’s your way of showing affection.” You add. Because that’s what you hope in your head, that somehow, he have affection for you.

“Of course.” A light and melodious chuckle resonates after his response, patting your head once again.

Silly little giggles are the only thing that come from you in result.

Then, he looks behind you. His smile grows and he lifts his hand up to wave. When you turn around, you see what he’s staring at.

Seungcheol and Jihye make their way towards the two of you.

“Ready to leave?” 

“Yeah, we are.” You smile, rubbing your hands together in search of warmth.

“Bonding, aren’t we?” Seungcheol teases, making you smile.

“You could say that.”

You look at Joshua after responding, he chuckles, and your stomach flips.

“Alright then! Follow me, the store is nearby.” Jihye finally speaks, soon having the three of you following her lead.

The walk is quick and chill, something you’re grateful for considering how cold it is outside. When you arrive at the market, you grab a cart and start walking.

“Okay, so, what do we need?” You ask Cheol, who gives it a brief thought.

“Some drinks, snacks, plates, cups? Preferably plastic ones. Also, some trash plastic bags to clean in the morning.”

“Okay, the plasticware is here at the right. The snacks and drinks are on the opposite side, where the refrigerators are." Jihye explains, hands gesturing as she points to the directions.

“Good. I’ll go with Jihye and you can take care of the snacks and drinks.” He says to both Joshua and you. “Pick whatever you want, it’s your birthday.”

“I might take the whole store with me, then.” You joke, and he chuckles.

The four of you part ways, with you and Joshua going together. He takes you by surprise by sneaking one of his hands in between your arms. You look up at him, confused.

“I’ll do it.” He smiles. You accept the offer with a smile and move aside to let him take your place. Your heartbeats increase in speed at the simple act of chivalry, while you're also trying to distract yourself by eyeing up the shelves.

How’s it possible that he hasn't noticed the way his mere presence puts your whole world upside down?

Looking at all the different flavors, sizes, and textures of potato chips, Doritos, and sweets that are displayed, you decide to quietly contemplate the ones you're craving the most. Joshua's soft voice in the distance lets you be aware that he’s gonna go and grab some beers while you make up your mind.

Since you're such an indecisive individual, you start grabbing packs randomly. Salty, spicy chips, some peperos, and even some biscuits for a change. It's now your mission to find those celestial Honey Butter Chips you’d die for, and when you finally spot them, you groan because of fucking course they had to be placed at the top of the shelf and very much impossible for you to reach them.

How cliché is that?

Still, you try, because one can’t let one's pride be wounded, plus, you’re way too introverted to ask for help anyway. Standing on tiptoes with one arm holding the rest of the snacks, you stretch out your free limb and try to, at least, make one of the damned bags fall to the floor. You don't make it, though. The tips of your fingers barely graze against the bag.

“Need some help?”

The man's voice makes you freeze on the spot. Brain malfunctioning as soon as you feel his breath on your neck. His huge hand reaches for the chips, all of this in seemingly slow motion. You stay there, paralyzed and with your eyes glued to him.

Stepping back, he holds the bag of chips in front of him, wiggling it. His lips curl up sweetly.

“I got you.” 

It's automatic, the way you start detailing every single feature of that gorgeous face. The smoothness and melanin of his skin, the roundness of his lips, and the intense but glowing irises of his dark eyes. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone this pretty in your life.

He snaps you back into reality once he tilts his head, noticing you’ve been staring for too long. You mentally slap yourself, cheeks red in embarrassment at the possibility of making him uncomfortable. The only solution seems to be clearing your throat and looking away.

“Thanks, Shua.”

“You’re welcome.” He says, hand placing the item inside the cart and starting to move again, “You should’ve asked me, though, I was right there.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you. I could do it myself.” This is your insecurity speaking, or the first cheap excuse you have now decided to throw. Whatever suits best the situation.

Joshua can only laugh at that, moving his hand to place it on top of your head. You turn your gaze in his direction, like a deer in headlights as he smiles at you, leaning against the handle on his elbow.

“I know you can.” He coos, caressing the top of your head and sending sparks throughout your body. “Just let yourself be pampered today.”

A smile creeps up your face, finding it hard to look away but doing it anyway. The two of you start walking around the store, and somehow it’s like you two are partners in crime. Stealing glances and soft smiles, slightly bumping into each other. You feel it then, the way warmth radiates from him and embraces you. It’s not cold whenever he’s around.

Soon, you cross paths with Seungcheol and Jihye again. Make your way to the cashier and be ready to pay for everything to go back to the cabins.

On your way back, you spot an ice rink. There are just a few people skating at this time of the day. Your eyes light up instantly.

“Woah, I didn’t know there was one of these in here.” You mumble, your three companions standing next to you.

“Oh! That’s a popular spot for families and tourists to have fun. We love to bring our friends sometimes.” It's Jihye's voice that follows, explaining as you smile at the sight of some children having fun in their ice skates.

“I can imagine, it looks so fun.”

You're having a moment with your inner child. There will be time later to get to the point of embarrassment. That, of course, if you don't notice the way Joshua looks at you ever so fondly.

“Wanna skate for a bit?”

Unexpected. That's what Joshua's question is. You're looking back at him, tilting your head.

“I would, but there are things to set for tonight.”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Seungcheol assures then, smiling at you. “It’s your birthday, we will take care of everything. You can stay here and have fun.”

His words bring an instant grin to your face.

“Really? Should I?”

“Of course! It’s on the house!” 

Oh, sweet Jihye.

“Oh no no, I can pay for it, you don’t have to!”

She shakes her head dismissively.

“That’s alright! The owners are family friends. Take it as a birthday gift.”

How can you not smile at her kindness?

“Thank you.”

“Alright let me grab these,” Cheol speaks, snatching the bags you’ve been holding. “Shua, take care of her and all of that.”

“Of course.”

Joshua looks at you then, a sweet and comforting smile being sent in your direction.

“I’ll see you guys in a while!” Then you say, as you wave at them goodbye.

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

Joshua nods his head for you to follow him, and of course, you do.

You certainly didn’t think this through. All things considered.

It shows the moment you put the skates on. Wobbly legs make their way into the rink. It’s not as easy as you imagined.

“I think this wasn’t a good idea.”

Now you're holding onto the walls for dear life, speaking to yourself, and reconsidering your choices in life. Then, you spot Joshua a few meters away. Skating on the ice as if it were nothing, his hands in his pockets, and the wind blowing his hair.

He then turns around in search of you, taking a few seconds to actually find you. As soon as he does, he laughs at the scene of you in the very corner.

He moves closer to you, and you’re so, so embarrassed you want the damn ice to melt and let you drown in it.

“You okay there?”

You want to let out the loudest whine, but you must act your age this time. You can't possibly make more of a fool of yourself in front of the man you like.

“Just peachy.”

You're clawing onto the brick wall, almost counting the seconds until you’re ass planted on the floor.

Joshua's big hand grabs one of your wrists, and you look at him with panic.

“Come on, let’s help you out.”

“Wait wait, I’ll fall, Joshua!” 

There it is. The whine you desperately wanted to hold made it to the surface. It only makes him laugh even more.

“You’re okay, I won’t let you fall.” A bold statement for someone who clearly doesn't know the great amount of clumsiness encased in such a little body. He continues pulling you away from the wall and holding onto your hands. “Just relax, yeah?”

He starts skating backward slowly. You don't know how he manages to be so relaxed as you cut the circulation from his fingers. But it'll have to do.

“This was such a bad idea, I’m so embarrassed.”

He starts loosening the grip on your hands. Realization hits you instantly, eyes flying open as he distances himself from you.

"Don't you fucking dare, Hong Jisoo! Come back here!"

Chuckle after chuckle. Seems like you're his main source of comedy today.

“You can do it.”

“Joshua Hong, you better come and hold my fucking hands.”

It's a threat, but he doesn't see it as such, even with your gritted teeth. He only looks down at you, clearly amused.

“Come on, you’ll be fine. It's not that bad, is it?"

“Why are you doing this to me? My mistake was thinking you'd be better than Yoon Jeonghan but I was clearly wrong. I swear to god you’ll pay the hospital bills when my bones break, and I hope you feel guilty for the rest of your life, cause how can you do this shit to me, Jisoo. I absolutely despise the sh-”

“Stop ranting and look at yourself.” 

And you do. With a chuckle, you slowly and clumsily move your legs.

“Oh, would you look at that? I’m actually doing it.” You laugh, looking up at him. The fondness in his eyes sends butterflies to your stomach.

He comes closer then, and grabs your hands once again.

“Let’s move a little faster.” 

"Let's fucking not!"

He doesn’t even let you oppose before he’s moving quicker. You want to kill him for a moment, but then you're actually having fun, laughing together, very romantic.

Until you trip.

Thankfully, he’s quick to pull you onto him and wrap an arm around your waist to stop your fall.

Bodies pressing together, your hands placed against his chest, looking into his eyes.

“You okay?” He whispers, so close to your face you can actually see his condensed breath. 

You only nod, and for some reason, the two of you stay like this for a few seconds. Looking at each other, his eyes traveling between your eyes and down to your lips. 

You could swear he’s leaning in, maybe wishful thinking or whatever, but you can almost taste his lips.

But then he clears his throat and helps you stand straight.

“That was close.” He says with a small, nervous laugh. “Sorry if it was too much.”

Yeah, you're being delusional.

“No, it’s okay. It was fun.”

“Uh, well... It’s getting dark.” He continues, looking up at the sky, then looking back at you. “Should we head back?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He makes sure to help you get safely to the exit. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to go back to the cabins, that are sadly way too close to the rink… One hour alone with him wasn’t enough.

When you arrive, it saddens you to think that the special moment you shared with him is now over. Still, you wonder if what happened between you two back in the rink was really your imagination.

Your friends run to you as soon as they notice your arrival. They promise everything’s ready and all you need to do is get dressed and enjoy the party.

With a smile, you go back to your room and start getting ready.

Later at night, everyone is already gathered outside. The boys whistle at you teasingly when you get out of your cabin, gaining a roll of your eyes in response.

“Stop it, you perverts.” 

“Lookin’ like a snack”

That's Soonyoung, now placing an arm around your neck with a proud grin. You quirk a brow, looking up at his face.

“What does that even mean?”

“He means you look hot,” Chan says, butting in.

“Ew,” Joking, you push Soonyoung away. He looks at you confused, so you laugh. “Just kidding.”

“You are a mean woman.” He exclaims in his usual dramatism.

Seokmin then comes and puts his arm around Soonyoung.

“I’ll take him. He’s a bit drunk.” With a wink, he starts pulling Soonyoung away, as he mutters “I’m not drunk!”

Chuckling, your eyes search for Joshua, who’s distracted and enrolled in a conversation with Minghao and Wonwoo. Your smile slightly falters, because somehow, you wish he had complimented you, too.

Chan then walks to you, placing an arm around your shoulder. You look at him in confusion, and he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“So, how does it feel to be a noona?”

You snort.

“I’ve always been a noona to you.”

“You’re right. Didn’t know what to say, sorry.”

With another roll of your eyes, you push him away. The two of you laugh until you spot Jeonghan a moment later, and join him at one of the picnic tables.

Fresh steak is being grilled by Mingyu, music is being played by Vernon, and the rest are either drinking or sitting and having a chat. The two girls arrive not long after, shy at first but soon engaging easily in the conversation. You learn that they study online, Jihye is majoring in arts while Jangmi went into fashion design. Their parents have been renting cabins for years, and they plan to continue doing so when they are gone.

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, you stand up from the picnic table to go for another beer, teeth clacking due to the freezing air. You get inside and grab an unopened can, switching it open and taking a swig. A grimace appears on your face at the cheap taste before turning around and going back outside.

You had planned to go back to the table, but your plans change when someone tugs at your wrist and stops you. You turn around and almost collide with Minghao’s figure. He grins.

“You look bored. Wanna dance?”

You smile.

“Sure.”

And that’s how it starts to get really fun, with the two of you dancing before at least another five of the boys join to dance along. It goes that way for a good part of the night, and admittedly, you don’t think you’ve had so much fun before.

These men’s antics are way too hilarious, as they keep clowning themselves without a care in the world despite the cold. That's when you decide it's time to go and grab Jihye and Jangmi by the hands, pulling them with you to join and dance, and they do, having fun when they feel comfortable enough.

You even see Joshua dancing along.

All of you dance until your limbs are exhausted, soon forcing you to excuse yourself. You grab another can of beer, this time deciding to take some fresh air on your own. Walking around until you find a nice spot on a little hill a few steps away, a bit quieter. 

You sit on the grass, knees pushed up and arms hugging them to keep yourself warm. You have a nice view of the city illuminated with different colored lights, something unexpected since all you’ve seen so far is haze.

Taking another swig of your drink, you let the cold wind touch your face. Everything is peaceful and quiet at the moment. Except for your mind.

Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you see the time being three in the morning. No wonder you suddenly feel so raw and vulnerable. 

Yearning that someone’s company so much is making your chest feel tight, and perhaps, your feelings aren’t just a simple crush at all.

A check on your social media shows the boys’ posts. There he is, with that beautiful smile of his that could light the whole town. Your heart flutters as you continue looking at his picture for who knows how long. A smile forms on your face, fingers grazing the shape of his face.

Then you hear someone’s footsteps approaching against the grass, eyes meeting with Jihoon’s right after. A subtle smile on his face when he sits right next to you.

“Hey, why aren’t you at your own party?”

You shrug.

“I just wanted to be alone for a while and think.”

Jihoon hums with a smile, looking ahead.

“Sounds dangerous.”

A small giggle leaves your lips. It's silent, only the breeze can be heard as you collect your thoughts.

“Jihoon,”

“Yeah?”

You crane your neck to look at him.

“Why do I always feel like I want to let my feelings out at this hour?

He thinks about it, leaning back against his palms.

“Well, you know what they say. Everyone turns into their most vulnerable self in the middle of the night. It’s often the time when I get the inspiration to compose.”

“I’m starting to understand what it truly means.” You confess with a nod. “It’s like I’m being overwhelmed with emotions, and I just wish I could lift them off my shoulders.”

Jihoon sits up straight and places his hand on yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze that you appreciate.

“If you feel the urge to let them out, maybe they don’t need to stay hidden.”

“But... It could have consequences.”

He retracts his hand and sighs.

“Yeah, but every decision has a result. Anything you do or say might lead to something, you can choose to find out what it is, or keep it bottled up and let it slowly consume you.”

You process his words carefully, smiling afterward.

“No wonder you’re so great at writing songs.”

“Had to find a productive way to let everything out.” He explains with a chuckle. “Wanna head back?”

“Yeah, I’ll reach you in a minute.”

Jihoon nods and stands up, walking back to where his friends are.

Grabbing your phone once again, fingers scroll through your contacts until you find his number and open the conversation.

There. Consider the possibilities. It’s the middle of the night. you know you can’t trust yourself at this hour, but somehow you’d rather get it off your chest now that you're feeling brave.

That’s it. You’ve opened the gates to let your feelings escape. You hope it’s really worth it.

You're still starting to feel the relief of lifting that weight off your shoulders, but also the uncertainty still managing to shoot a sprinkle of insecurity straight to your brain.

Locking your phone and shoving it back into your pocket, you feel nauseous and your heart is heavy. You fucked up. You know you did.

Sighing, you rest your forehead against your forearms. Your eyes flutter shut as you desperately try to stabilize your breathing. The knot in your stomach becomes painful, your throat tight enough to make your airways feel constricted.

Then, it's time to stand up. You’re not really sure how you’re gonna face Joshua, or the rest of the boys, for that matter. Not now that you decided it was a good idea to confess your feelings through a text message.

However, you stop in your tracks the moment you see Joshua. The air is completely knocked out of your lungs as he silently approaches.

Locks of hair subtly blow in the wind, the moonlight makes his skin glow oh, so gracefully, and his pupils are surely putting the stars at shame. His lips are slightly agape, subtle clouds of fog escaping from his mouth, erratic breathing hinting how he must’ve hurried to come and find you.

It's an urge for you to say anything, but your brain can’t even formulate coherent sentences.

“Josh-”

An arm of his wraps around your waist, pulling you against him before his lips are enclosing yours in a kiss, interrupting whatever excuse you were planning on using.

Eyes flutter close instantly, hands clasping around his wrists. The kiss is soft, sweet, and too short for your liking. He barely pulls back, lips still inches away from yours, noses brushing when he says: 

“I do like you.”

Joshua's thumb runs over your lower lip, staring down at you with half-lidded dark eyes. His smile appears right after, bright and contagious, a breathy chuckle falling from his mouth. You smile back, hands moving up to find purchase at the sides of his neck.

“Do you?”

Dumb question, but you can’t help but ask it.

“Yeah.” He promptly responds, pressing another chaste kiss against your mouth. “So much.”

“Lucky me.”

You're now the one who chuckles, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into another kiss.

Nothing could’ve ever prepared you for the way it feels to have his lips on yours. He's unsurprisingly a very skilled kisser. Knowing perfectly well how to move his lips slowly and delicious, the liplock accompanied by soft nips, sucks, and rhythmic movements against the other’s mouth. He tilts his head and pulls you further against his mouth, hands cupping your jaw. Your head spins in pure ecstasy.

The kiss breaks slowly, still in a daze when you detail the way his lips have turned red and swollen. His thumbs gently rub the skin of your cheeks, and it feels like you're about to vomit a whole zoo. He pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your body and embracing you tightly.

You bury your face in his chest and breathe him in. You embrace all of him and his sweet scent, letting your eyes close and humming contently as your fingers curl on the fabric of his coat.

“How are we going to explain this?”

“We don’t need to.” He says, pulling back and looking at you. “Seems everyone knew what was going on, except me.”

That certainly makes you laugh, cause you've been way too obvious all along.

“That’s embarrassing.”

“Tell me about it.” He agrees, placing a kiss on top of your head. “Wanna go back?”

He extends his hand palm up. You look down at it before intertwining your fingers, a smile on your face.

As soon as you arrive, the teasing begins.

“Took you both long enough!”

Seems like you ended up being the center of attention for a very different reason. Your cheeks burn as Joshua releases your hand and grabs your wrist instead, moving you to stand next to him, then placing his arm around your waist.

He's the one who decides to retort first.

“Yeah yeah, drop it already.”

“I was almost going to confess in her name at this point.” Jeonghan jokes, approaching the two of you.

“Still bitter you didn’t tell me shit,” Joshua confesses, your best friend shakes his hand and gives him a quick, brotherly hug.

“I could’ve, but she would’ve whined about it for years.”

A glare shoots in his direction straight from your eyes, smacking his chest, which makes him laugh.

“Who would’ve thought you can actually keep a secret?”

“Don’t test your luck, I still know plenty of things your new boyfriend would love to know.”

Joshua looks at you with a quirked brow, but you’re quick to grab his hand and start pulling him away.

“Anyway who wants to dance?!”

Joshua looks between you and Jeonghan, who's being left behind. He's clearly intrigued by the situation but follows you nonetheless.

You’ll remember to invite Jihoon to grab some food later.

It's way past five when you're in your bed staring at the ceiling. Everyone must be either passed out somewhere or getting ready for bed since the sun will be rising soon.

There’s only one thing on your mind now that you’re back in your room.

You grab your phone and unlock it, looking for the conversation you started a few hours ago. Fingers typing almost on autopilot, hoping he’s still awake.

Excitement fills your body when you place your phone back on the nightstand. It doesn’t take long until you hear a soft knock on the door.

“Come in!”

You soon see his face, his hand running through his slightly messy hair. Wearing a pair of sweats and a tank top that lets you admire his bare, toned biceps. Teeth sinking in your lip in anticipation, no one could ever look this good.

Scooting, you make room for him on your bed, lifting the covers so he can slide in. As soon as he does, you’re both face to face. It's so charming that even in his tired state, he smiles and places a soft kiss on your lips.

Burying your face in his neck and playing with the hairs at the back of his head, he hums, letting you know he appreciates the gesture before his arms wrap around your frame, pulling you even more into his.

“Hmm, you smell nice.” You admit, a breathy chuckle escaping from his mouth and making his chest vibrate against you.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

The sudden pet name sends a wave of sparks through your body, not to mention the arousal of knowing he’s using a pet name just for you.

“I could get used to you calling me nice things.”

Joshua pulls back to look into your eyes once again, a light smirk now forming on his lips.

“Yeah?”

Big hand lifts and runs its fingers through your hair.

“Yeah.”

The two of you stay quiet for a moment, but his eyes never leave yours. Smile slowly vanishing the more the tension in the room arises. His soft touches start to become bold, with a hand running from your neck to your shoulder, and from your shoulder down your arm.

“Your skin is so warm, so soft.” It's a mumble, barely audible, as his hand moves from your arm to your waist, gently pushing up the hem of your shirt and letting his hand travel through your curves.

His touch makes your skin erupt in goosebumps.

“I like it when you touch me.”

“Hmm. You shouldn’t say that to me.” He whispers, mouth ghosting over yours as his hand travels upwards, finding your ribs. “I don’t think I can hold back.”

“Then don’t.” 

His gaze darkens at your words, glued to yours in the barely illuminated room. Your body is now craving him, yearning for his touch after dreaming about him for so long.

Joshua then makes the next move, propping on his elbow, his upper half hovering over you. 

You look up at him when his hand comes in contact with your cheek. His beauty is immaculate under the moonlight peeking through the windows. There's so much want being shared. The sight of him on you is so alluring it’ll be engraved in your memory for the rest of your life.

The necklace hanging from his neck looks so tempting, makes you want to curl your fingers around it just to pull him in and succumb to your true desires.

“Then remember that you asked for it.” He speaks again. “I’m going to worship every inch of your skin and kiss at every corner the way I want, give you whatever you wish while making you mine.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

He drags his fingers down your skin, eyes shifting from yours to down your lips.

“Fuck.”

Before anything else can be said, he leans in and kisses you. His kiss once again takes over all your senses. So slow, open-mouthed, and passionate. Your hands fly to the back of his head to tangle in his soft locks, kissing him in a way he could feel how much you’ve wanted to have him.

His thigh spreads your legs to position himself between them more comfortably. His big hands roam down your neck, shoulders, and waist, making sure that his fingers dance along every single inch of your skin, setting it aflame.

You nip at his lip, tugging gently and making him groan. The tip of your tongue teases the area before he lets his own dive into your mouth to press, roll, and play.

Both can feel the arousal pooling in your underwear, the heat and the need are unbearable. You're clenching around nothing, an effect only his kiss has caused. Pathetic, but real.

Joshua's mouth starts traveling from the corner of your lips, to your jaw and down your neck. You bite your lip again, trying not to whimper and melt into a piddle. Tilting your head back to give him more access, the heaviness in your breath is enough to agitate him, and soon you feel the hard tent in his sweatpants pressing against your thigh.

A lift of your hips and a slight grind are enough to make him curse under his breath as his fingers claw onto your waist.

“Fuck.” He grunts before his tongue gently laps at the exposed column of your neck. You scrap at his scalp, tugging on his hair before grinding on him again. His kiss travels upwards, finding your ear and nibbling on the lobe, “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He whispers, voice hoarse and lust-filled.

“Please, Joshua.” You can't help but beg, beg for him to give you more, pressing yourself against him as much as possible. “I need you.”

“I got you, baby. Let’s take your clothes off, yeah?”

He pulls back and slides his fingers under your shirt, lifting it and pulling it over your head before throwing it somewhere in the room.

His eyes get even more hooded at the sight of your bare breasts, pupils dilating as his hands start running down your bare torso, slowly, smoothly, the touch burning your skin. His palms enclose your chest, kneading gently, his thumbs run over the perked nipples, rolling them between his digits. You moan at the action, hands clasping around his biceps and nails clawing on his skin. He bites his lip as he watches every reaction of yours, finally lowering his head to wrap his lips around one of your nipples.

A whimper falls from your mouth the moment his tongue starts playing with your sensitive buds. He looks up, not wanting to miss any expression of yours as he continues to suck, lick, and suck again.

“Fuck, Shua, that feels so good.”

He hums, moving to the neglected breast and repeating the process. His free hand runs down your stomach, sliding under the waistband of your panties. Long middle finger soon sliding between your folds, pressing on the wet button and making you choke on a moan.

“So wet. I’ve barely touched you, baby.” He teases, pulling away from your nipple and smirking at you. His fingers start rubbing up and down, face hovering over yours, staring intently. He pushes two of his fingers into your hole, and your back arches against his chest.

His lips keep that smirk on, nodding at you while you moan. “That’s it. Feels good, yeah?”

You bite your lip and manage to nod.

Joshua starts pumping his fingers faster, moving his body from over you to get rid of your pants and your panties by dragging them down your legs. All of this without stopping with his ministrations.

There you are, in all your naked glory in front of him, so exposed and vulnerable, but not feeling scared because the way he looks at you is enough to make you feel so wanted.

“So pretty, all for me.” He leans down and grazes his lips against the skin of your tummy. Curling up his fingers, he grazes the perfect spot that makes you moan even louder. Eyes fixated on you with a quirked brow, followed by a breathy laugh. “If you keep being so loud, everyone’s gonna know how good you are at taking fingers, huh?”

You're really trying here, but you can't keep quiet. His teasing words only turn you on even more and make you clench around his digits, feeling your climax approaching at a rapid speed.

“Sorry.” You croak. “It feels so good.”

“I can tell, you’re clenching tightly. How are you going to take my cock?”

He seems to love teasing, as he places kisses on your thighs. Who would've thought? He's apparently not the same gentleman in bed, and you love it.

“I can do it. I will do it.”

Joshua stares at you with both pride and amusement. It’s almost enough to hide the fact that his dick is hard as a rock, but since he’s not trying to hide it, you promptly watch as his free hand moves to palm himself over his clothes.

“Then come for me, so we can make it happen.”

You should probably be more obedient, but you're so desperate you move your hands to the hem of his shirt to lift it up slightly and he quickly takes it off with a chuckle. The sight is hypnotizing, muscles divinely built for your hands to touch, smooth skin screaming to be kissed, and your mouth is watering.

Extending your hand, you run it over his torso, fingers dancing across his abs and chest as he sits on his ankles. The tight knot on your stomach soon releases with the sight of the naked man in front of you, and you reach your climax with chants of his name. Your back arching, legs shaking.

“That’s it. Such a good girl.” He praises, helping you ride out of your peak.

While you try to catch your breath, he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his lips to lick them clean. You almost whimper again, 'cause how can someone like him, so sweet and gentlemanly, be so dirty and hot.

Your hands fly to the back of his neck and pull him into a heated kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. Your hands run down the soft skin of his back.

He breaks the kiss to look at you, panting, clearly way too aroused to keep holding back, so he pulls back and gets rid of his pants and boxers. There you see him, standing free and hard, pink at the head and leaking with arousal. You can’t hold back the wish to touch him, hand flying to wrap around his shaft to pump his length.

He lets out the prettiest moan you could’ve heard, which impulses you to apply more pressure on his shaft. Sitting up, your lips wrap around the head of his cock, gentle sucks and twirls of your tongue sending him into a frenzy. You tug up and down, pointed tongue running over the leaking slit, the salty precum filling your tastebuds.

Joshua looks down at you, ragged breath as he places his gentle hand on the back of your head. You lick a stripe of his length from the base to the head, looking up at him and pressing your thighs together in search of some relief when you witness the blissful expression on his face. Pushing his length further down your throat, you almost choke in hopes to hear more of his luscious sounds.

He's quick to pull you away from him, and you frown. He kisses your lips, licking on your tongue and making you moan against his mouth before he pulls back.

"Love that you're so eager to suck my cock, baby, but if I let you continue, I won't last."

What a filthy fucking mouth he has.

“Fuck, Shua. Please baby, please take me already.”

Joshua bites his already swollen lip, moving your hand away from his length to wrap it in his own and place it at your entrance.

“You ready?”

He starts slowly pushing himself into you as soon as you nod. The tightness of your clamping walls makes him choke a moan of his own, as he waits for you to adjust to his size. You take advantage of the moment to start placing open-mouthed kisses on his neck and shoulder. 

Soon he starts to move his hips, making your head spin with the rhythm of his thrusts. You cling onto his body, wrapping your legs around his waist to press him further into you as soon as he bottoms out. Joshua supports his body with one of his arms beside your head, the free one holding onto your waist as his pace starts quickening.

“Shit, so tight.” He moans, snapping his hips against yours and hitting all the right spots. Truthfully, you could cream again by just hearing the sounds he's making. “You were made for me, to take my cock.” He adds, jaw tightening as he moves his hand to interlace his fingers with yours.

“So good, so big.” You cry out. “I’ve belonged to you since the day I saw you.”

He's leaning down after a breathy curse, kissing you again, a bit sloppier, tongues playing as his hips continue speeding up.

You hope in the back of your mind that no one can hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin, however, you’re far too gone to really care.

“If I had known sooner…” He grunts, hand sliding down to find your clit to rub on it with the pads of his fingers. You scratch his back as he continues. “All this time pining over you but thinking you were not really interested.” He confesses, a particular thrust of his hips making you cry out again. “I deserve all the teasing.”

“Fuck, Joshua, I’m so close.” It's a whole trail of whimpers and moans that you let out between each sentence, pressing his sweaty body against yours. “Been harboring these feelings for so long, Joshua, fuck.”

You’re soon grabbed by the waist and flipped over to straddle him. His head against the headrest and hands on your hips. 

“Ride me like that. Shit.” He orders in between moans, biting his lip as his hand roams up and down your back. “I wanna be in so deep.”

You roll your hips, bouncing every now and then as your hands find leverage on his strong and broad shoulders.

"Oh my fucking God.”

“Cum baby, and milk me dry. Show me how much you mean it.” He demands through gritted teeth, rubbing again on your clit. “How much you’ve wanted me all this time.”

And as if it was a magic spell, you come undone around him, legs shaking and back arching. You bite your lip so hard it draws blood, but you don’t care. 

Your walls clench around him hard enough for him to cum right after you with a throaty groan. His hot seed spills inside you in thick spurts, painting your walls white. A few more sloppy thrusts and you’re soon collapsing onto his clammy chest. His heart is racing, but so is yours.

Joshua's strong arms wrap around you, soft caresses on your back as you remain connected for a while.

When the two of you manage to regain your composure, he pulls out of you and helps you lay on your back, turning around to look into your eyes. He looks at you silently, full of adoration at your flushed face.

"What is it?"

He shakes his head, smile remaining on his face.

"Just admiring."

A light snort escapes from you, not an offensive one, and he knows. He's well aware of your shyness, of the pink on your cheeks.

"Admiring? Me?" You chuckle, but admittedly flattered. "Have you seen yourself?"

His perfectly shaped brow quirks at that, before he quickly glances down at himself.

"Yes. You. Actually, I see myself every day in the mirror."

Clicking your tongue, you turn to your side, meeting his gaze.

"I mean..." You trail off. "I know to you it's nothing, but like, you're so so good looking. Like, incredibly so. And I'm not saying this because you're now my boyfriend or because I'm biased, I just genuinely think that if there was a human form for perfection, it'll look like-"

"I love you."

You stop ranting, looking up at him. He's just smiling, and you don't think someone has ever looked at you this way. With so much love.

"What?"

He chuckles, big hands moving to cup your cheeks.

"I said I love you."

You could cry. You think you might, and perhaps, you're actually tearing up, but it's well hidden by the grin on your face, same grin he starts kissing right after.

"I love you, too." You finally say in between kisses.

Once the kiss breaks, It's hard for you to keep your eyes open, but you try your best to look at his post-climax glory.

“That was intense, by the way. And the four letter word at the end? The cherry on top.”

Joshua smiles, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“Just wait until we wake up in a couple of hours.”

Cheeks heating up instantly, you start laughing.

He leans down and kisses you one more time, much more slowly, then pulls back, placing a small peck on your forehead, then standing up from the bed.

You watch as he puts his sweats and boxers back on. Wrapping the sheets around your body as he goes to the bathroom and comes back with a towel. He doesn’t need to turn the lights on, considering that the sun is already up. He smiles at you and gently cleans you up, sharing a few kisses before he helps you dress again. A protest is what he receives, too tired to move, however, he just chuckles.

“Come on, love. It’s freezing cold. Let me dress you up so we can sleep, yeah?”

With a groan, you end up sitting up and letting him help you. Soon after that, you’re both falling asleep together on your bed.

“Okay, this was definitely a memorable experience.” Seokmin says, as everyone gets the luggage into the vans.

“It was fun!” Soonyoung agrees, placing his arm around Vernon’s shoulder.

“Well, except for Joshua hyung giving it to our favorite girl til early in the fucking morning.”

You smack Seungkwan across the head and he rubs the sore spot.

“Shut the fuck up. You heard nothing.”

“At least someone was getting laid,” Mingyu adds.

“Are we ready to leave? I really don’t feel like discussing someone’s sexual escapades this early in the morning.”

Of course, it'll be the dad of the group cutting the shit out.

You bid the two girls goodbye, promising to keep in contact and visit soon. thanking them for everything they did.

When everyone’s already inside their vans, you wave at the girls and go back to your seat. Fastening your seatbelt, you look at Jeonghan, who looks back at you with a smirk.

When he least expects it, you place a smooch on his cheek.

Taken aback, his hand moves to touch the place where the kiss landed.

“What was that for?”

You just shrug. “You’re my best friend and I love you.”

Jeonghan can only roll his eyes.

“I was going to tease you for getting some, but that was actually sweet.”

You respond with a chuckle, grabbing his hand and interlacing your fingers together.

“Of course you would, bestie.”

You soon meet eyes with Joshua, who smiles before grabbing your other hand and interlacing your fingers, bringing it to his lips and kissing on the back of it. 

Then, Jeonghan suddenly grabs your face and places a loud smooch on your cheek, making you gasp and laugh out loud, disbelief written on your face.

“Just to remind Joshua he has to share. Don’t expect this gesture to happen very often, though.”

You laugh and rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder, still holding both of your favorite boys’ hands.

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here 🩷

I wanted to come on here to just remind people of a couple things. First of all, none of us are delusional. There has been plenty of people that have worked beside L and N who have made comments about them being in love. The other shippers want to make it like we are crazy. I have a couple truths though to remind them. How do we know when a celebrity is dating someone? The their team will make an official announcement normally done through a well-known magazine. Or more recently, you will see a post on social media that declares some with type of love between the two people. We never got any type of confirmation of any type of relationship between any of the "supposed" couples. Luke and Nic are allowed to hang out with the same group of people. They're allowed to hold hands with the opposite gender in big crowds. I've said this before and I'm gonna say it 1000 more times if I have to. These fan accounts that are giving people in Luke or Nic life a title before nic or Luke have given them one they are in the wrong. In your personal life, there are all types of people. Some people that you were extremely close to that are like family. Some people that you are acquaintances of. But if I'm looking at a complete strangers life. I don't know who that person represents in their life. It's one thing to theorize and make assumptions but to give titles that isn't our job. Now in the end of the day, Nic is going to hang out with JD. That is her friend unless she says otherwise. That doesn't mean that she's dating him. It's also OK that she hangs out with or tags him in pictures. We all know that each ship is going to justify being on their ship. So you're going to see comments that make you think that maybe JD is more than a friend. But Nicola is a grown woman. She can speak for herself. if she's dating anyone, she'll say it when she's ready. Personally I think the time article speaks volumes. The two people that she spoke on in that article are her dad that she clearly holds in a very high regard and Luke. So don't let the noise of the other ship affect your gut instincts.

Exactly!

Y'all I'm frustrated too... I want answers just as much as everyone, but we don't know these people. I'm not exactly a big fan of these SM games either, but we just have to be patient and see what happens...

But again, that Time article came out YESTERDAY. And it spoke VOLUMES.

[kangaracha]

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 18

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pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n thanks again for 1k followers! also, taglists are sort of working again, if you're someone that only comes here when you get a tag, you've probably missed a few chapters

previous | masterlist | next

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The airport is a crush of bodies and phones and flashing cameras, staring you down as you follow Seungmin's back through the glass doors and try not to stutter under the weight of so many eyes on you at once.

It happens fast and yet also so very, very slow, every second dripping past so discernibly that you swear you can feel time moving around you. Every breath hitches in your lungs as you walk, every blink of your eyes blinded by the halogen lights overhead or the lense of another camera, searching for the face a manager has tried to hide for you under cap and hood and mask. The clothing is hot and stifling, the collar of your shirt suffocating where it is tucked into the black hoodie, the ends of your hair scratching at the back of your neck, but you're too scared to pull it down or to even look up, your eyes fixed on Seungmin's heels and the tails of the loose shirt he's pulled on just for this walk through the line of fire.

You'd looked for Chan when you'd gotten out of the car, gravitating naturally towards the leader (the one that had defended you online, the one that could look you in the eyes and tell you the truth and went out of his way to prove it the moment he had an opportunity), but he'd fallen back and you'd been steered towards the centre of the group, sticking to Seungmin's side instead. Seungmin was dependable too, like Changbin; unafraid of the crowds that pushed and pulled at each other and tried to lean in close as security shove their way through, and fiercely loyal when the situation called for it.

Seungmin doesn't look back though. He doesn't have time, when the hands to either side are reaching for him just as much as they do to shove you, when hired bodies keep nearly separating you as they move in circles around you, carrying out their job. You're not sure how you could feel so small and alone in such a large crowd of people, seen by so many eyes, but for a moment you do, and then-

An arm lands across the back of your neck, a hand resting casually over your shoulder, pulling you into someone's side. Felix, recogniseable by the soft blue jumper he's wearing and the blonde hair that pokes out from underneath his beanie. You have a feeling he's not supposed to do it, from the wicked gleam in his eye when he glances at you and the way that he marches onward, feet placed deliberately beside yours as if to challenge anyone to tear him away, but you can't find it in yourself to make an excuse and pull back, to walk on your own two feet. 

You were scared, after all; you are scared, even with the reassurance of the weight of his arm around your shoulders and the angle of his body blocking some of the cameras that angle and click and glare at you like if they stare hard enough, you might freely divulge your secrets. You've never seen a crowd like this before, so close and so...mob-like, uncontrolled and ready to roll over each other if it means getting their two seconds of fame, their photo that's unlike any other.

"I get scared too sometimes," Felix says, close enough to your ear that you can hear him over the mayhem. "Just keep walking. The faster we get there, the quicker it'll be over."

"Thanks, Felix," you say in return, but you don't think he can hear you over the crowd. 

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids

@hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts

@puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night

@d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk

@minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder @amesification

@starssongs98 @weirdhumanbeinglol @morinuu @the-weird-mold-in-the-sink @bokkiesplace

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @skzstaykatsy @blackhairandbangs @jungkookies1002

@hyuuukais @imsiriuslyreal @thatonedemigodfromseoul @gini143 @mercurywritesstuff

@splat00z @filmbypsh @palindrome969 @crabrangoongirl25 @enzos-shit

@jabmastersupriseee @kayleefriedchicken @hynjinswrld @duhgurl @cheshireshiya

@keepswingin

[hunnymisworld]

How Haikyuu Characters would respond to you:

When you ask them for help in making the homework.

SFW | Fluff | Crack | Short AU

[READ ME FIRST]

C O N T E X T: You are a 1st year transfer student in Karasuno and you've already adjusted to your new environment as well as the new people you met whom you made friends with. You were having a hard time with a homework and decided to ask for help in your fellow classmates/seniors.

DAICHI SAWAMURA

A P P R O A C H A B L E yet he is kinda intimidating because everybody knows he's the volleyball captain.

He'll show a small smile when you tap his shoulder to call his attention. "Hey y/n, how can i help you?"

Would offer to teach you the homework with every d e t a i l so you would understand. (He doesn't mind if you ask multiple times about the same thing)

A PATIENT MAN (and understanding too)

"Don't hesitate to ask for help anytime okay?"

He sees you as a younger sibling and finds it cute when you ask him for help.

BIG BROTHER ENERGY (best senpai fr)

Kinda serious when he teaches you the lesson, he's eager for you to learn.

Would ask you follow-up questions to make sure you really understood.

The type to even stay-up-late with you when you ask for a tutor in the upcoming exam ( FOR FREE?!?!? - yes. )

Gives you his phone number cause he does not use social media that much. In case you needed any help with academics or whatsoever.

YOU ACED THE HOMEWORK!

YU NISHINOYA & RYUNOSUKE TANAKA

You can easily find them near the vending machine playing rock-paper-scissors to know who's going to pay for who's snack/drink. (tough battle - Who do you think pays most of the time? You can leave a comment.)

"Stop messing around noya! A junior is here to ask something"

"Ow! Did you really have to hit me- **gets hit again** Oh- Hi Y/n how can your seniors help you?"

Would gladly help you and buy you snacks too!

They lead you where they usually hang out during free time and scan what your homework is about.

"Here, can i see?" Nishinoya offered to look at the homework first and you handed him your noteook.

Ryu was beside him, he was also trying to see what your homework is about.

Scan....scan... Read.... Read...

"What is this? Did we even learn this way back? Do you remember any of this ryu?"

"GIve me that! Stupid-ass. That's what you get for cutting classes. Good for you that you were able to be a senior" (Yes, ryu just snatched your notebook from noya)

BRO WAS OFFENDED

"HEY! That was- fine! It's true. Why would i argue with an even dumber person like you"

You were literally just standing there while they bicker like 🧍‍♀️ T.T (poor y/n getting flustered - wondering how to react)

"Can you stop Noya, let me handle this. SHHHH i can't focus"

Noya really said 😧😑🙂 (bro was GAGGED)

After a while.... yes they indeed remembered the lesson and eventually stopped bickering.

They summerized the lesson for you and explained the concept of the lesson. You were then able to answer all the questions which they checked.

"There all done!" Noya happily said while Ryu was having his moment being the best senpai ever.

"Easy peasy" "Lemon squeezy"

You were relieved and thanked them after. You also offered to get them ice cream next time you bump into each other to thank them for helping you (Literally ATE UP your free time from all that bickering T.T nevertheless, you were grateful)

2 MISTAKES! NOT BAD!! (You got 4 thumbs up from them both and they congratulated you)

SUGAWARA KOSHI

He would be the one to approach you since he noticed you were having a hard time since the morning recess. Brows furrowed while you were scanning your note book.

"Hey Y/n! How are you? I noticed you were having a hard time since the morning. Do you need help?"

You were on the verge of crying for being frustrated at not understanding the lesson. He noticed it and patted your back as he smiled at you warmly.

A COMFORT PERSON FR (he's such a sunshine)

Makes you calm down first so that you'd be able to clear your mind for you to understand the lesson completely.

"How are you feeling? Do you feel calm now? Don't worry, anything can be learned. Don't pressure yourself too much, you just have to give yourself enough time to learn it okay? Let yourself be a beginner too."

You smile warmly at his words. He seems to always know what to say to make a person calm down.

He explained the concept to you as simple as he can and gave you an outline of the lesson so that you have a guide.

He bought you your comfort food to help calm your nerves and walked you back to your classroom cause he was worried.

"Just approach me if you need tutoring okay? Your mental health matters, don't be too hard on yourself. Don't doubt yourself and your capabilities, you are an amazing person who is also capable of making mistakes. You're human too."

You hugged him as you felt how sincere he was and he patted your back.

YOU ACED IT YEY!! (our soft-hearted y/n awww)

KIYOKO SHIMIZU

IS YOUR BESTFRIEND!! (sees you as her little sibling)

Left her notebooks on your desk with a cute note saying:

" Don't be upset, you'll get it i promise you. Here are my notes from 1st year and it's concept is described there in the simplest form. I know you'll be able to understand it when you read it. If you have any questions just text me, i'm arranging the boys' volleyball team practice match with Nekoma right now so i was not able to hand it to you personally. Take care xoxo!

PS: let me know if you want to watch the match, i'll get you a ticket"

SHE IS THE SWEETEST

You understood her notes pretty easily as she said on her note

You texted her and said thank you for the notes and offered to buy her snacks when she's not busy anymore.

She replied with:

" You're welcome 🩷. Sure!!"

She's the best sister fr.

KEI TSUKISHIMA

Will turn his back on you as you approach him T.T

"No. I know what you're going to ask for"

Damn :((

As you walk out of the classrom to ask others who can help you with the homework, he secretly puts his notebook in your bag for you to have a guide for the homework.

"dumb-ahh."

Yes, he left a note and stick in inside his notebook saying:

"Everything is here. You better not text or annoy me. Study on your own. I need my notebook back by tomorrow"

You were surprised and touched that he knows how to show he cares.

OFC YOU ACED IT!!

SHOYO HINATA & TOBIO KAGEYAMA

Before you even have the chance to ask them, THEY WILL ASK FOR YOUR HELP FIRST T.T

They don't understand the lesson either

"Hey y/n, do you understand the lesson? Can you help us?"

BOTH OF THEM LOOKING AT YOU SO HELPLESS AND SHOYO IS ABOUT TO CRY T.T (poor baby)

You looked at them shocked and said "I'm surprised and flattered that you think that I understood the topic but I ALSO DON'T KNOW T.T"

You and HInata cried while Kageyama left you both to ask for help (don't worry he intends to teach you the concept of the lesson to after he learned it from someone who can help)

You ended up having a mini group study with them and Kageyama was able to explain the concept sucessfully.

"Woah Kageyama, i have this much respect for you now. Didn't know you had this side in you" the orange haired guy said.

"Shut up, i'll never set for you again if you manage to fail this homework"

ALL OF YOU ACED IT!!

E N D

Note: You can comment for other character request.

[sophie-frm-mars]

Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

[angeliquexoxo]

"What are they like?" - General Resident Headcanons

PART 2

More hcs of how the residents would act around the mansion!💕

All characters are written according to my au, I don't own any of the characters written here and they all belong to their rightful owners (⁠＾⁠∇⁠＾⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♪

This post may contain mature content such as swearing, talks about trauma, and other stuff you may not too read!

BEN_Drowned

I imagine him having the body of a 15 year old, and the mind of a 21 college drop out who's actually really good in technology and social media. Basically someone who's a genius but decided to drop out because it's just not working out for him.

BEN is really annoying to deal with in the mansion. Not because of his ability to manipulate technology (can manifest in tvs and such), but him as a being. Like you would see on the internet, the boy is a troll. He enjoys witnessing the angry reactions he would get from others- which is why he likes to use Jeff as his go to target.

Since he's a spirit, he could phase through walls and such but since he's a techno-poltergeist, he prefers using electronics and gadgets.

BEN would spend his free time in his room or at the recreation room, either playing video games or watching some kind of anime. But if he's working, he would be stationed at the security office- BEN is the only one in the mansion who can keep track of what's happening in most of the cameras placed all around the mansion.

One of the messiest residents in the mansion. The security office is filled with tangled wires and a bunch of junk food wrappers (chips, sodas, candy, etc) His room is also very unkept. For some reason, he has a bunch of used tissues all along his desk which I won't be elaborating any further.

BEN is really easy-going, really playful too- but again, he's a smart spirit. He doesn't trust too many people in the mansion except for jeff because he knows what kind of fucked up shit they all did. He likes to perceive himself as a friendly guy but also shows to others that you shouldn't fuck with him.

Since he's at cyber security, a lot of people look at him when they need something ordered off online (whether it's on Amazon or on the Dark web) of course he'll do it, but in return you'll have to do something for him in return. It can be as harmless as pulling pranks but sometimes his favors are fucked up like killing of a victim he trolled because he told them to pull up to an address he gave them.

BEN is quite expressive, he's the one who reacts to things the most besides Nina I envision him to show off lot of emotions too. He doesn't know how to hide them well, you can easily tell just by looking at him (I think it's also because BEN is always seen so carefree and positive so it's a no brainer if you notice the shift in his emotions easily)

He acts like a moody teenager. Like I said, BEN is pretty laid back, uses vulgar and extensive vocabulary (would use slang words the most) when something upsets him, he will make it known. Honestly, he'll start to act like a petty and salty bitch when there's a minor inconvenience.

Eyeless Jack

Ej is the mansion's official doctor. He got the position and the proper title after the number of times he would give his housemates medical help after or even between missions. He's also the one apart of cleaning up after fights between residents.

He's knowledgeable to almost all things about medicine, especially info on anatomy and things relating to surgery. I could say he's one of the smarter residents when it comes to academics (he liked science, particularly the biology)

He keeps mostly to himself. He doesn't involve himself in any drama happening in the mansion, not because he's not into socializing with the other members of the mansion but rather because he's worried about harming those around him. Because Ej is a half-demon from a failed cult sacrifice, he now has to live with his craving of human organs and it's said for him to deal with because all he wanted to do is help those in need.

With his cannibalistic tendencies, he prefers having meal time ny himself. The only time he'll eat is when he's out hunting or alone and somewhere private in the mansion- like his room or a closed area in the infirmary.

He doesn't get stressed easily. He knows how to act when there's a crisis. He's used to working under pressure, with him being the most medical knowledge in the mansion and stuff. The only time he'll start acting out is when he's hungry. He can control his anger well when things start to piss him off, but if he's starving- that's a whole 'nother level of danger.

Ej likes to be clean and tidy. The practice of keeping things sterile grew on him and because of that he prefers keeping things neat and organised. However, with him needing to consume human insides- it's difficult for him to keep his stuff clean. You'll need to find a victim, get the good stuff, dispose of the body, etc. yeah it's not a fun process for him.

A really respectful resident. He doesn't use vulgar language except the occasional swear words he thinks there's no need to swear so there's that He gives respect to anyone as long as they're respectful to him in return.

Ej is on good terms with residents in the mansion, not because he's the one healing but because he's not as fucked as they are. Has good bonds with Jane and Hoodie, thinks Nina is a sweet for helping him out in the infirmary while the other residents are just okay for him.

Would spend his free time reading books don't ask me how it just fits him if not then he'll organize the infirmary.

Jeff the Killer

Surprising enough, not as foul mouth as you think he'd be Clockwork took number 1 Jeff still swears and such, but he's not bold enough to say what's on his mind- it really depends if he drank enough beer or not.

Also really gross, his room reeks of alcohol and rot. He has a bunch of dirty laundry and empty beer cans that he has yet to throw away. Jeff doesn't have the best hygiene either. He has a hard time brushing his teeth due to the cut on his cheeks. He would also wear the same white hoodie- never washes it unless he feels like a decent human being and decided to do his laundry.

Honestly, he's a bit of a pussy. It really depends on who he's dealing with. If he's with Cody or some resident who is really introverted, then he'll start acting like he's a tough guy a bully basically. But if Jeff is with people like Jane or even with Liu- he'll start shutting his mouth more. Though that doesn't mean he'll start throw some nasty comment at them.

He's pretty awkward around certain residents cough cough Nina cough cough only because he's not good in emotions, especially if it's something really touchy. He hates the proxies, mainly because he doesn't like being bossed around still follows their orders though. He's on good terms with BEN- sure you'll hear Jeff cursing BEN off but rest assured, all of them are said with love. Thinks Jane and Clockwork are bitches, but really Jeff is just a pussy when they're near him.

His relationship with Liu is interesting. They weren't really close when they were kids- Liu was more favored by their parents while Jeff was the problem child growing up. When they reunited, Jeff avoided Liu a lot, him seeing the stitches he had on his face struck a chord on his heart. He almost felt sorry for him that his until he cut his smile up again.

You might think he's an idiot, I mean, he is, but he has a brain, and he uses it for the most part. Since he's a senior resident, he knows the ropes of going on missions and the kind of stuff happening in the mansion. He may not be the smartest, but he's a pretty good fighter. Has an okay amount of strength and can fun pretty fast. He's trying to learn how to use firearms, a shotgun preferably, so there's that.

Has the strongest gut out of all of the residents. He can watch the most vile thing to ever exist and still have his lunch in his stomach. Jeff also doesn't hold a lot of sympathy, just because he's running this killer game since he was 13. He's often stationed for torturing victims when they need info because of this.

X-virus

He is also an intelligent resident. Very gifted to all things related to science, specially biochemistry and microbiology- since he's centered around diseases and different types of viruses. Cody has some good knowledge in medicine too. Because of this, he's known to be the 2nd unofficial doctor of the mansion.

Unfortunately, Cody gets very distracted easily. Has a hard time staying still, which is why he often fidgets with his goggles. Would end up getting carried away with whatever he's talking about, especially when it's about things he's really interested in.

A lot of people in the mansion found him annoying. Many residents see Cody as a very clumsy kid who's constantly trapped in his own little world.

Cody is in fact the newest resident in the mansion. He came in after Nina after about 5 years? Some members of the mansion still see him as fresh meat though.

Could be one of the most sadistic residents in the mansion. He's known to use whatever deadly sickness he made on his victims. He enjoys seeing how his test subjects victims react to his viruses. Sometimes, he will even snap photos of said victims and name the photo after the virus he used on them. Has at least 1 binder container said photos.

He doesn't have the best living(?) schedule. The boy just wakes up from his desk, conduct experiments on his viruses, studies the results and passes out. He would often forget to eat too, because of this he has a skinny build.

He gets really excited when he's involved in certain missions especially the ones where they go in groups mainly because he wants to show off his creations.

He's only close with members like Toby and Nina, the only reason why is because they are the only ones who can tolerate him and his interest in viruses. Jane, Helen, and Liu have neutral feelings towards him while Clockwork, Jeff, and Ben simply find him irritating.

Kagekao

Kage is an asshole. Because he's the only supernatural being who's not a big wuss, he simply thinks he's better than everyone. He likes to make the other residents stupid a lot. He doesn't think he's better than everyone though, he's very much aware of the flaws he has but in certain if not most situations- Kage has the upper hand.

Knows some secrets about the other residents. He's a very sneaky demon- he knows how to hide himself very well. Because of this, there are times where he would come across residents doing something they shouldn't or overheard private conversations.

Surprisingly a very easy guy to talk too. He doesn't go against most of the rules in the mansion and listens to the proxies. However, every time someone asks him to do something- whether it's a small favor or not, he wants something in return.

Very chill but because of his attitude a lot of people don't like hanging out with him. If you do hang out with him though, most of the time you guys are just gonna end up drunk.

Not a light weight, he's able to consume a lot of red wine in one sitting. He doesn't enjoy other drinks, wine is the only drink he'll only enjoy. If there's no wine then he'll simply leave.

He likes hanging out with Sully a lot. For him, Sully can match his energy very well. Kage enjoys hanging with Liu too. He doesn't interact with his other housemates but he enjoys making Jeff feel like an idiot.

He has the ability to shape shift and climb on walls and ceilings. He enjoys staying in high places like roof tops or beams of high ceilings. He doesn't shape shift too much mainly because he hates the feelings of turning himself into something that's not his usual body.

He prefers killing his victims off quickly than taking his time. He will slow his pace when his victim is attractive. Many times he would hold conversations with many women, sometimes having wine with them before offing them.

I'd think Kage would have good charisma levels. He knows how to make women blush and stutter which is why he chooses them as his go to victims. Despite making girls fall into their knees with simple words, he doesn't have the interest in dating anyone and no there hasn't been a time where he hooked up with any of the girls he had killed

Took some time to finish this post. Many things are happening in school, I have exams next week and we also have a school event where we need to make a costume for our representative :'>>>

But we'll have an academic break after this week so I'll probs post more?

Thank you all for the hearts and reposts on my last post 😭 hopefully y'all enjoyed this one too! 💕😘✨

[study-diaries]

How to avoid distractions while studying.

.

Social Media.

I personally know how hard it is to study when constant social media notifications are popping up so i just turn them off. This is obvious and the easiest way. Keep your phone in another room while you're studying.

Youtube

Here's the thing, YouTube is something we can't avoid, especially when it comes to studying because many times, we want to learn from the videos but end up getting distracted and therefore, i maintain 2 accounts. One, a personal account where I watch all my own channels like vlogs and other content videos and another account only for studying. I don't subscribe to any other channels beside the channels that help me with my studies in this account. I've noticed that I get a lot less distracted because your recommendations would only be study related or the content related!

Write them down

When you're studying and you noticed that you're getting a lot of distractions. Take a paper and write down the distractions with the timings and then continue studying.

Distractions - Time

Phone - 20 min (specify time: 8:20-40)

By this, you can analyse what's distracting you more than the others and you can actually calculate your study hours better and help yourself improve it.

Reduce everything by 5 mins

It's okay to get distracted. Everyone gets distracted and the best way to decrease your distractions is to decrease them by 5 mins for some days and then keep decreasing them gradually. It's the best way to work honestly because it helps you remove the distractions over time as a habit.

Complete your chores before sitting down

You might know that whenever you sit down with a firm motivation to study and then you take your notes, books, materia etc and a voice from the kitchen comes saying"You haven't finished the dishes!" So, now you go to do the dishes and then another chore pops up when you sit to study and another and another. So, here's my advice, either you complete all your chores before you study or you complete them after or you could complete them during breaks. But make sure you're not distracted by them.

Turn daydreaming into a weapon

Personally, this is something i really really struggled with, like whenever I sit down to study, I ended up daydreaming about a certain book or plot. It would definitely not help me study so recently, I started assigning fictional characters to subjects and personally, like, gosh my economics was alittle more interesting when I was "teaching" it to Cardan Greenbriar (tfota). It's kinda childish to have like an imaginary friend or such but it certainly helps with boring subjects. Imagine scenarios or do anything with your imagination as long as you're studying the content. It helps you remember important points even though it may be absurd.

Q and A sessions

From time to time, get in the habit of quizzing yourself, I do it after every topic i complete. I'll ask questions which are not in the book, I'll twist the questions just like in the tests. This means that you have to stay focused if you truly want to answer the questions or even form the questions. You can even do it with a friend/study buddies!

Tennis method

This method is really useful and i kinda made it up. You hold your hands up in the air facing towards each other. Now, after you completed a topic, you "throw" your first point from one hand to another and the other hand should "throw" back the second point and so on until you're completely done with it. If you can't "throw" a point back in less than a minute, you need to revise more. Personally, I love doing this because I'm focused on answering and it's actually kinda fun "throwing" points like balls, even though it may look crazy to any outsiders xD (You can use this for maths for formulae, vocabs etc!)

Hope this helps! :D

[transmutationisms]

I was reading your porn addiction post, and I just wondering what you consider addiction if not some sort of disease? I also think porn addiction and stuff in that vein is fake but I also can’t think that addiction is just people choosing to be that way even though they hate it. I say this as someone who was actually addicted to substances like I feel like there was something going on there that can’t be explained by the idea that addicts just choose to be like that. (I don’t think you think addicts just choose to be like that I just don’t really know any alternative schools of thought lol) I don’t mean this in an accusatory way I’m sorry if it comes off that way, I am genuinely curious what you think cause your posts are always so enlightening.

first of all you have to keep in mind that 'addiction' has no singular meaning. even if we confine ourselves to talking about psychoactive substances, 'addiction' can range from the 'classic' case of increasing, compulsive, self-destructive use, to cases where a person's usage may actually be stable in the long term but they're chemically dependent on the substance (think: the way doctors talk about chronic pain patients who are dependent on opioid painkillers; then compare to how they talk about psychiatric patients who are dependent on SSRIs. for example). you can get dx'd with a 'substance use disorder' purely on the basis of how much you take/consume, even if you don't feel it's causing impairment in your life, particularly if you let slip that someone else in your life has expressed concern or tried to stop you. race and class contribute to distinctions here as well, where certain people have leeway to be seen (even in a psychiatric setting!) as 'experimenting' with substances, or using them 'recreationally', where the same usage pattern in a person who's otherwise marginalised might be flagged as 'addictive' and in need of intervention. all of this gets even messier when psychiatrists and physicians try to justify applying discourses of 'addiction' to eating, gambling, sex, social media, and so forth. recall that 'addiction' in the roman republic and middle ages had contested legal and augural meanings that could be positive as well as negative, and that by the seventeenth century it was largely used as a reflexive verb with a predominantly positive meaning—as in, "we sincerely addict ourselves to almighty god" (thomas fuller, 1655) or, of plato, "he addicted himself to the discipline of pythagoras" (thomas hearne, 1698). it was not until the twentieth century that "addict" came to be widely used as a noun defining people who were passively suffering on a medical model.

i don't mean to be evasive here but to point out that asking "how do we define addiction besides a disease model?" presumes already that the disease model is the singular and inescapable way of understanding addiction in the first place—this is not true historically or presently. addiction is a muddled concept and has always involved moral discourses; attempts to present it as a 'pure' or 'objective' medico-scientific judgment are in fact recent and still unstable.

to the extent that it is useful to talk about addiction as a disease—that is, as a state of suffering that is imposed upon the sufferer, that is a disruption of a desired state of health and well-being—i think it is critical to keep in mind that such a disease is social as much as biological. you can start here by pointing out that substance use is often precipitated by the necessity of withstanding miserable life conditions (ranging from extreme poverty, domestic abuse, social marginalisation, &c, to the 'standard', inherently alienating and miserable conditions anyone endures in capitalist society). but there are other social factors that contribute to the presentation of substance use as compulsive, escalating, and self-endangering. eg, lack of a safe, steady supply is a huge factor here! when people are forced to rely on inconsistent, unregulated supplies to get high, this contributes greatly to drug 'binge' behaviours and endangers users. there is also the fact that drug users are often already marginalised (esp along lines of race, class, ability, &c) and are then further marginalised on the basis of being drug users. what would substance use look like in a society where using didn't relegate people to the social margins, or render them socially disposable? what if people had social supports, and weren't forced to toil away their entire lives at jobs that make them miserable for pay that's barely enough to live on? what sorts of patterns of substance use would we see then? so then, is it the drugs themselves that are the problem here, purely neurobiologically? or is there a larger story to tell about how people come to exist in such a state where substance use is increasingly hard for them to engage in with safeguards; where being a substance user causes them to lose whatever degree of social connection and support they may have had, which was often insufficient already; where they are often unable to integrate substance use into a full and connected life because they are told they must either give up enjoyment of a substance entirely, or be continually branded 'relapsing', 'non-compliant', 'dangerous', &c &c.....?

at the end of the day i don't think it's helpful or accurate to talk about addiction as a disease because it decontextualises drug use from all of these factors: why people do it, why it becomes harmful for some, why it's assumed we must simply 'stop' and 'resist' in order to 'get better'. disease explanations blame the substances themselves on a reductive bio-mechanical level (& again, this becomes especially untenable philosophically when we think at all about 'behavioural addictions'). the point here isn't to say that addicts are just blithely waltzing into addiction—or, indeed, to say that drug use is intrinsically a bad thing that should be avoided! it's a pretty typical feature of human existence that many of us enjoy consuming substances that alter our mental and physical states, and that's not inherently bad. when i push back against a disease model of addiction, i'm not invoking a model of personal responsibility or individual choice. i'm asking how we can understand drug use within a much broader social and historically contextualised frame, and how that can help people who are in many different states wrt drugs, from 'currently engaging in patterns of usage that feel compulsive and terrible' to 'never done a drug in their life'.