#i don't sleep or eat much (not that i eat much now) and everything in my brain is too fast and the world is so sharp

[taeyongdoyoung]

wicked game

summary: you try to seduce the unpopular virgin to win a bet with your stepbrother. your stepbrother wants to sleep with you and you want his car. but the virgin guy has more to offer... pairing: loser virgin!haechan x popular girl!reader genre: angst, romance, smut, high school setting warnings: the bet trope my beloved, manipulative stepbrother!jeno, ex-boyfriend!mark, innapropriate groping in school, one non-consensual cheek kiss, past man-eater y/n, lowkey corruption kink, lots of kissing, handjob, blowjob, eating out, attachment issues, protected sex (unbelievable), classmates to lovers, non-consensual photo-taking, breakfast in bed, break-up, no pain no gain author's note: this is loosely based on the movie Cruel Intentions minus the dying part; disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, i don't actually think Jeno is an A-hole, i just needed such a character for the sake of the plot word count: 3.7k

You're bored. Being the most popular, prettiest and richest girl in high school is not enough to satisfy your greed. Boys are literally throwing themselves at you in every corner. It's almost too easy. You want a challenge. Something to make the last year of school a memorable one. Something fun.

So, when your stepbrother Jeno presents you with an idea, you accept it eagerly.

"If you're so bored, why don't I propose a bet?"

"What kind of a bet?" you eye him curiously.

"See that guy Haechan? I heard he's a virgin and saving himself for his one ~true love~. How fucking pathetic is that?"

"So? What is it to me?" you scoff, though you already have a feeling where this is going.

"If you manage to seduce that fucking loser, I'll give you my Jaguar."

"Oh, that's very tempting," you smirk. "And if I don't?"

"Then, you'll sleep with me," Jeno whispers in your ear.

"Ew, as if. You're my brother," you make a gagging motion.

"Stepbrother," Jeno points out.

"Still, it's gross," you shake your head.

"Are you scared you'll lose?" Jeno sticks his tongue out.

"I haven't agreed to the bet yet," you answer.

But Jeno knows you too well. You are already thinking of ways to ruin that poor boy Haechan.

You approach him that same day, sitting on the empty seat on his desk. Asking him to do homework together...

"Why would I want to spend time with you?" Haechan spits out.

Ouch. Little one is too feisty for a regular loser. This might be more interesting than you initially thought.

"Why not? If you hang out with me, people will think you're cool," you try to attack where you believe it'll sting.

"So? Popularity isn't everything, you know?" Haechan rolls his eyes. "Besides, people who peak in high school spend the rest of their lives leading a mediocre, non-satisfying existence."

Damn. Pretty harsh. You didn't anticipate this would be so difficult. Oh well, all the more motivation to try harder.

"You admit it, then? That I'm at my peak right now," you smile flirtatiously, running a finger across his face.

"It doesn't matter to me where you think you are," Haechan glares at you, grabbing your finger and removing it from his skin. "As long as you get out of my face."

Gee, so aggressive.

"Did I ever do something to you?"

"No, but you messed with my best friend Mark's head. Leading him to believe you cared for him and then ditching him is so not cool. Now, piss off," Haechan grunts angrily.

You don't even remember half of the names of the guys you slept with. But you do remember Mark. He was really sweet. And if you could feel something at all, it would have been guilt. But back when you were with Mark, your mother had just announced she's getting re-married to Jeno's father. So, you were angry at everyone and everything. And you took it all out on Mark.

"Well, I can't change the past, so don't blame me without knowing the circumstances."

"It doesn't matter anyway. Mark found a girl much better than you who's treating him right."

"What about you? Got someone special taking care of you?" you touch him again, this time more forward and shameless, trying to elicit a reaction out of him. Sneaking your hand underneath the desk and caressing him fondly.

"It's n-none of your b-business," Haechan stammers but he doesn't remove your hand this time. Oh, he's so touch-starved this is going to be a lot of fun. For you.

"I could take care of you, you know? Turn all your wildest dreams into reality."

"I know what you are," Haechan shakes his head.

"A vampire!" you gasp in mock surprise.

"Ha-ha, very funny," Haechan fakes a smile. "You're a man-eater. You fuck around with guys and then you leave them to rot. I want nothing to do with you."

"Really? Then, why haven't you removed my hand yet?" you remind him, though perhaps you shouldn't have.

Haechan grabs your wrist, pushing you away firmly.

"You're wrong, you know," you try to convince him of your sincerity. "I'm just as eager to find someone who loves me. Someone worth staying for."

"And what, you expect me to believe that someone is me?" Haechan stares at you sceptically.

"Let's find out, shall we?" you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before he can escape.

And then, you let him be. Enough torture for day one.

You start interacting with Haechan every day. During the first month, you are consumed with thoughts of Jeno's bet. The abominable idea of sleeping with your stepbrother is enough to keep you going. Of course, you know he's not gonna force you into it. But you need the motivation to not lose the bet anyway. The gorgeous car is also pretty seductive.

During the second month, you are consumed with thoughts of Haechan. You begin to realize how lovely, clever and funny he is. And the fact he's even letting you spend time with him is enough to make you happy. You're no longer bored. Because everyday you have something fun to look forward to. You spend time at the school library, doing homework together, occasionally sending memes to each other. You go on little walks and picnics at the park. You even go to the cinema a couple of times, bonding over your shared love for horror movies.

During the third month, the miracle happens. Haechan decides he trusts you enough to invite you over to his place one evening. He even makes the point of notifying you that his parents aren't home. What does he mean by that? Is this an opportunity for you to finally seduce him?

Naturally, you don't get much homework done, before Haechan starts kissing you out of nowhere. You kiss him back eagerly.

"W-what are you doing?" you ask as you notice Haechan has started unbuttoning his jeans.

"I t-thought you wanted this. S-sorry," Haechan looks down, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. He's in a hurry to zip himself again. God, you feel so cruel.

"I d-do," you admit, no longer giving a shit about that stupid bet. "But I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for."

"So, you've heard about what I said at that fucking party?"

"What did you say?" you ask, even though you have an idea of what it involves.

"That I'm saving it for someone special," It being his virginity, you suppose. "Someone who loves me. To be honest, I was really drunk that night. I don't care all that much anymore."

"It's okay to have your principles, Haechan," you try to reassure him and stroke his soft hair gently. "I think it's pretty admirable, actually."

Haechan shakes his head, visibly disagreeing.

"Well, it's fine. I'm ready for this, I promise. Just...don't leave right after, okay?" he pouts.

"Oh, Haechan, of course I won't leave," you reply and surprise yourself in that you really mean it.

Kissing him deeper, you finish what he started and take off his jeans. You touch his cock softly, as if it's the most precious thing in the world. You've done this hundreds of time with guys you didn't give a fuck about and felt nothing, the actions methodical and quick. But this, right now, is more special than your limited vocabulary could ever describe. You realize you genuinely don't want to hurt him. You bow down and envelop your lips around his length. He gets hard easily, considering it's his first time. You suck on him a couple of times and he cums even faster than you anticipated. But for some reason, it's never tasted sweeter.

"S-sorry," Haechan mumbles shyly.

"It's okay, my sweet boy," you coo in his ear, after you're done swallowing his cum. You run your hands through his hair once again. God, it's so silky. You could never get enough of him.

"W-what do I d-do now?" he asks cutely.

"Whatever you want, mon ange," you kiss him once more.

"C-can I eat you out?" Haechan inquires.

Oh, so virgin boy is not so clueless, after all.

"Sure, I guess," you shrug. Not really a huge fan of that, the few times guys have offered, they quickly grow tired of it and could never make you cum as hard as you could by yourself. But it's okay. If Haechan wants to...

"Just...guide me, okay?" he pleads adorably and soon, you find out he needs no guidance at all.

What he lacks in experience, he definitely makes up for with enthusiasm. He seems so eager to please you, licking and biting and kissing your pussy that you cum faster than you have in...well, ever, actually. You grip his hair for support, panting and chanting his name like a prayer.

"Was that alright?" Haechan feigns a self-conscious smile, though judging by your reaction, his smile is already turning into a proud smirk. That bastard.

"Are you kidding? It was...out of this world," you say honestly. Funny thing about honesty is how something that used to be so difficult for you comes so easily to you when you're with Haechan.

"Glad to hear," he grins widely. You want to kiss him every second till the rest of your life. The thought terrifies you.

"I s-should go," you try to get up. You can't do this. You can't be the one to take his virginity. Considering how this all started. It'd be too cruel. He should be with someone special, someone loves him more than anything, someone who'd never hurt him.

"W-what, w-why?" Haechan asks, grabbing your wrist in a panic, not wanting to let go. "I thought you liked me."

"I do like you. I like you so much. That's the problem."

"It doesn't have to be," Haechan disagrees, pushing you back on the bed. "Please, let me."

And here you thought you'd be the one begging him to have sex with you.

"O-okay," you can no longer find it in yourself to deny him. To deny your growing feelings...

Haechan digs through his jeans and pulls out a condom. His hands are shaking and he's having a hard time putting it on so you help him and pull him out of his misery. You give him a soft, reassuring smile, paired with a quick squeeze of his hand. He smiles back just as fondly.

And then he slides inside you so easily. As if he belongs there. As if he's meant to be yours. You kiss him desperately to distract yourself from the truth. To hide the tears that are threatening to come out.

"You f-feel so g-good," Haechan grunts in your ear.

"So do you, baby," you admit sincerely.

This time around, he lasts longer, fucking you until your release comes for the second time. He cums right after, with his hands touching your cheeks, his lips on your neck and his heart on his sleeve.

"Wanna stay inside you forever," he whispers once it's over.

"That wouldn't be very practical," you chuckle. Though you would like nothing more.

But he gets up to get rid of the condom and then comes back, hugging you tightly.

"Can you be my girlfriend?" Haechan blurts out. "I know you probably don't like clingy guys but...considering you've been pursuing me for the past three months, I thought..."

"I'll be your girlfriend," you agree rightaway, not giving a shit about the consequences. "Of course, I will."

He laughs, the sound so precious and filled with joy it breaks your heart.

Maybe he never has to know how it all began. Maybe you could hide it from him forever. Maybe...you could allow yourself to be happy. Just this once.

Soon, Haechan falls asleep, feeling comfortable around you. You know what you have to do, but you feel like shit anyway. You secretly take a picture of his half-naked figure sleeping soundly. You sigh quietly and send the photo to your stepbrother Jeno.

Then, you put your phone down, trying to forget about the whole ordeal. You cuddle up next to Haechan and enjoy his warmth until you fall asleep.

The next morning, you wake up before Haechan and quickly run out to make him some breakfast. You have no idea when his parents will be home but you don't want this to be their first impression of you. So, you leave the breakfast on Haechan's nightstand with a little note.

See you at school, boyfriend! XOXO, Y/N.

Rushing back home, you are satisfied when Jeno gives you the car keys to his Jaguar without protesting. Your stepbrother may be kinda freaky, but at least he's a man of his word. What gives you the creeps is the slight smirk on his face as he hands you the keys. As if he didn't lose the bet. As if he's the winner.

You try not to think about it too much, as you get dressed for school, excited to see Haechan again. You still can't believe he asked you to be his girlfriend. That pretty, sweet boy makes you so unbelievably happy. You look forward to spending more moments in his sunny company.

Haechan wakes up to the smell of warm pancakes, covered with chocolate and strawberries and accompanied by coffee. It immediately brings a smile on his face, which only becomes wider as he sees the little note you left him. He giddily enjoys the breakfast and then rushes to get dressed for school. You're his girlfriend! He's never had a girlfriend and he's so pleased you're being so nice to him. Maybe you really are better than people say and all that past drama was just everyone being jealous of your beauty and popularity...This is going to be the best day of his life.

But when he gets to school, everything changes. He knows that he's considered one of the "losers" in the hierarchy but usually people just ignore him and don't pay attention to him. He's fine with that, really! But today, whenever he walks by, people are snickering and whispering something. It feels so weird and makes him uncomfortable. He can't quite hear what they're saying and this kind of unexpected treatment is killing him.

He goes to his friend Mark to ask him what's up.

"Bro...I don't know how to tell you this," Mark looks away, as if the thing is so bad he can't even say it.

Haechan impatiently begs him to just enlighten him as to why everyone is giving him weird looks all day.

Mark sighs and shows him a secreenshot. There, he sees a photo of himself, half-naked and sleeping soundly. Fuck, that's from last night. And what the messages between you and your stepbrother Jeno reveal...shocks Haechan out of his senses. No...no way it was just a bet. No way you spent three months courting him for a fucking car?! This can't be true. It's gotta be Photoshopped or something.

"Listen, buddy, I warned you that she likes messing with guys and then leaving them."

"No, she...she really seemed to care about me," Haechan is still in denial as his vision becomes blurred with tears.

He runs away, unable to believe what is happening. He needs to speak to you. Hear it from your own lips. To be sure this is real and not just a sick joke.

When he finally finds you, he grabs your wrist as he did just yesterday. But this time, he's not doing to get you to stay. But because he's furious.

"Is it true? Did you really make a bet with Jeno on whether you can fuck me? Did you seriously do all of that over a car?!"

Your facial expressions are enough of an answer. Guilt. Something you never thought you were capable of.

"H-haechan, I swear I can explain," you beg him to hear you out.

"Explain? How can you explain that?" Haechan shakes his head, letting go of your hand. You try to touch him again but he shoves you off furiously.

"It was just a bet at the very beginning. But somewhere along the way, I really started having feelings for you, I promise," you cry passionately. "I don't care about the car, I'll fucking thrash it, I just wanted to get Jeno off my back."

Haechan takes a step back, feeling so betrayed. So...used.

"Whatever you say, I don't think I can believe you anymore. Was it fun, at least? Was this all just a wicked game to you?"

"N-no, it wasn't, I swear it," you are bawling at this point, feeling so pitiful. You don't care if the whole school sees. You only care that Haechan understands. You never meant things to go this far... "I truly care about you, Haechan."

"Yeah?" he scoffs, annoyed. "You only care about yourself."

And with that he leaves. And you lose the one person you truly, genuinely loved.

This is the worst day of your life.

Throughout the rest of the school year you don't dare approach him again. You know you fucked up so badly. You can't even look at that stupid car, let alone consider driving it, so you sell it. Partly because you're angry at Jeno for spreading the screenshot around the whole school. Partly because you no longer want to have anything that will remind you of the biggest mistake you ever made.

With the money you get for the car and some of your own savings, you secretly sponsor Haechan, Mark and their other friends' singing club. You don't even want Haechan to find out. It just...feels right. They could use the extra help.

As the final year of school nears its end, you begin to imagine a future where you never get to see Haechan again. At least, during the past couple of months you had the privilege of looking at him from a distance. But the idea of a world with no Haechan is like a world with no sun.

So, you decide you have to do something as soon as possible. He doesn't have to forgive you or accept you as a girlfriend again. You just want to be in his life in some form.

As you approach the school's radio booth, you feel all the bad things of your past coming back to bite you in the ass. Maybe you deserve to be forever alone. But you need to give it a try. It's your last chance.

"Hi, Mark," you greet your ex-boyfriend.

"What do you want, Y/N?" he sighs, not at all happy to see you.

"Before I get to that, let me just say how sorry I am for the way I treated you in the past. I'm really happy you're finally with someone who appreciates you for how totally awesome you are."

"That's...unexpectedly nice of you to say," Mark eyes you suspiciously. "We were never right for each other anyway. So, what do you want?"

"I want to apologize to Haechan. Through a message broadcasted to the whole school..."

"Gee, and you couldn't do it the old-fashioned way, face to face?" Mark jokes.

"Haechan doesn't wanna see me," you say, fully convinced.

"How would you know without trying?" Mark asks. Has...Haechan told him something? No, you couldn't allow yourself to hope.

"I just know, okay? Please, let me do this. We're graduating in one week, this might be my last chance to talk to Haechan."

Mark nods, agreeing.

"Five minutes," he takes off his headphones and vacates the seat in the radio booth for you.

"Thank you! I mean it," you have never been more grateful for anything.

Mark shrugs as if it's not a big deal and leaves you to it.

"I want to dedicate this so someone I hurt," you speak into the microphone. "Someone who didn't deserve it. Someone very dear to me. Someone I still care deeply about. Haechan, I'm so incredibly sorry, please, give me another chance."

And you start singing.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

Your voice is off-key a couple of times and halfway through the song you start crying inconsolably, all the guilt and pain consuming you. The whole school is probably laughing at you but you can no longer bring yourself to care. The only thing that matters is that Haechan hears this.

When you finish the song, you leave the radio booth and are surprised to find Haechan right outside the door, willing to talk to you.

"H-haechan," you stammer and barely resist the urge to give him a hug. You don't want him to feel pressured or anything.

"I'll give you a second chance on one condition. I want Jeno's Jaguar," Haechan jokes.

"Too bad, I already sold it and donated the money to your music club so you guys can get new instruments and stuff."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Haechan exclaims. He doesn't sound angry, though, just...shocked.

"Sorry, sorry, I know it wasn't my place. But it was so unfair the football team and the cheerleading team get so much money but no one cares about the arts."

"Okay, okay, I guess this is better than that ugly car," Haechan chuckles. The car is not ugly. Not even a little bit. But you appreciate Haechan all the more for saying that.

"Can you really forgive me?" you ask desperately, eyes still watery.

"I can forgive you but I'll probably never forget," Haechan admits with a sigh. "If you break my trust again..."

"I won't, I swear!" you vow seriously. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you and treating you the way you deserve. You're the best person I've ever met, Haechan. If you'll have me, I want to be around you forever."

"Forever is a long time" Haechan muses out loud. "Considering we're going to college...I don't even know where you're applying."

"I'll go wherever you go," you say hurriedly.

"You can't give up on your dreams just for me, though."

"I'm not. You're my dream, Haechan. You're my sun and I want to be in your orbit. If you'll allow me, that is," you can't take it any longer and hold his hand softly, asking, begging for that second chance not to slip away.

"I'll allow it," Haechan smiles sweetly. "Let's run towards our dreams together, from now on."

"I won't let you down," you promise from the depths of your heart.

And you finally, truly mean it.

The End

[daenysx]

what if james’ s/o woke up to him eating her out

YES.

james potter x fem!reader, smut

cw; consensual somno, oral (f receiving), kisses, james being the bestest boy and coming in his pants

sleep is so sweet tonight.

you remember waking up a few times, totally wrapped around james with your face close to his neck like you're trying to steal his air. he smells so good, you fall asleep after each time you open your eyes.

stretched limbs, slow breaths, and james wakes up to your gentle nuzzling. the sun is still lost in the air and the bed is warm. he rubs his eyes with clumsy fingers. he can feel your leg thrown over him, and it's so comfy like this, he smiles lazily.

he gives you a kiss on your head. you move towards his lips in your sleep, your leg in sync with your body as it touches him. you don't know what you're doing but your body is desperate to get close to him and james likes it very much. sweet, angel girl.

you do something between lifting and pressing your leg to him, and he can't help his reaction.

his sweatpants don't do well with restricting him, he twitches softly at first. oh, it feels so good, he lifts his hips. he wants to get lost in your warmth because it's so cold out of this bed and here is safe. james wants to be safe.

you press yourself against him as if you want some relief. are you dreaming? you're sleeping, but you're moving softly with your breath to his neck. james brings his fingers to your thigh, squeezes the flesh gently. he's getting more and more awake each second.

it feels like minutes are liquified when james finally decides he wants to do something about the clear issue. he's hard and you must be dreaming of him, he hopes, you're restless and stretch like a kitten in bed as you arch your back.

he takes off your sleeping shorts and panties, the sunlight starts filling the room. he knows you like being woken up like this, the feeling is entirely mutual, he loves waking up to your mouth if he has to be honest. he moves his body to kiss your belly. another kiss. delicious.

you relax when he makes his way to your cunt with his kisses. james holds your legs on his bare shoulders, his hardness pressed against the bed to get some friction. you are the softest, radiating warmth to his mouth. he's eager for his first kiss.

it all comes natural after that. he begins and doesn't stop. his lips stop briefly on your puffy clit, he keeps them on your thighs. you lift your hips. there should be more. he opens his mouth to suck the sweetness out of you.

"mm-" you murmur something in your sleep. james makes a nice grunting sound against you. "j-jamie-"

he squeezes the tender flesh of your thighs in his big hands before he sucks greedily on your clit. the wetness spreads in his mouth and it's good, he keeps going for it.

"please." you mumble, rubbing your cheek on the pillow. "yeah-"

your whispers fill the room, james's sloppy sounds do as well. he's almost hurting now, probably leaking into the fabric of his sweatpants. he doesn't care.

"james-"

you seem to be awake. your eyes are open, watching him with a different kind of desire but you still seem like you're ready to drift off. "good morning." he gives you a kiss on your belly to make an eye contact. "come on, baby. you know what i want."

"can you- keep doing it, please?"

there's his girl, the kindest ever. he obeys, giving you the loving you clearly deserve. he's definitely leaking now.

"yes-" you moan deeply. you push yourself to his mouth eagerly, sleep soaked and lovely in the fresh sunshine. "so close, jamie."

"mm- i can feel it, too." he does it on purpose, making vibrations against you.

you know you can relax any time you want, just let go and it will be the best morning. james goes harder, leaves you no choice but creaming in his mouth.

you moan his name again, a desperate plea. james accepts everything you give him, rubbing his cock on the sheets as he moves his head. your legs cover his ears as the softest earmuffs and he groans when his own peak hits him.

"oh, fuck." he whispers. "angel-"

"come here, come up." you say, extend a hand to him. "wanna take care of you."

he slides himself to you and takes you in his arms. you're melting immediately, he squeezes your body just right. post-orgasm makes you sleepier like it's possible.

"you already did." james says, smugly. "didn't even have to touch me to do that."

you snuggle to his chest. it's a weird kind of relief that neither of you care about the mess you made in bed. you're sleepy, so is james. he buries his nose to your hair and you hold onto his waist with your fingers drawing gentle circles.

"what time is it?" you ask with a scratchy voice.

"it's still early." james replies. "go back to sleep, we got time."

"why don't we stay in today?" you offer with a cheeky smile on your lips. "so that we can keep doing this all day long, and i get to take care of you the right way?"

it's physically impossible for him to reject this tempting idea. he accepts it with a big kiss on your cheekbone.

[icarusredwings]

I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO

Anyway.

Thinking about apocolpse au.

Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)

"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"

And wades like:

"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"

And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)

"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."

"Rah?" 🤔

"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."

"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)

"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."

"Raah!!" 😄

And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)

But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.

The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.

Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.

"Grr-"

"Aye! That's enough outta ya"

"GggRah!"

"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"

"Mmmh??"

"Bad!!"

"Mmh....rahah.."

"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"

Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.

He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.

"...aahh-"

"Wade- No."

"Ggr.. raahh"

"Wade! No! Bad."

"Mmmh..."

"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"

He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.

"Then don't bite me."

"Mmh? Mrah?"

"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."

"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"

"No, not even a tiny one."

"Mm...😔"

Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"

"🙂‍↕️mh"

"Good."

Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.

You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.

This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.

"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"

"Rahahrah?"

"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"

"Aawr..😔"

The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.

He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.

This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.

Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally

When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.

"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'

Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.

"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.

Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..

[sunnystaytiny2018]

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Ateez Fanfiction

Demon Seonghwa x Fem Reader

Smut

First Person POV

(Requests are opened as well if anyone wants to give me ideas)

Top!Seonghwa, female reader, Somnophilia, multiple orgasms, pussy eating, face riding, dick pounding, femboy!Seonghwa, femboy, Demon dick, choking, marking, succubus sex, stranger sex, breeding kink, pet names (angel, sweetheart, baby), supernatural sex, smut

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I felt stupid. Standing here staring at the damn pentagon I had made with ash from my parent's fireplace. Red and Black candles flickering through the basement that I was currently in.

How could I have actually gone through all of this? For what? To get laid?I looked down at the spell again in the book. I had been practicing the pronunciation for weeks and I still failed. I tried chanting again to no avail. Everything was still. No magical dark wind, no candles blowing out, and certainly not a demon appearing.

I sighed and threw the book back on my shelf. I knew it wouldn't work. But not even some creepy shit happening? Something to get my heart racing? Nothing. The candles suddenly flicker for a moment and spun around instantly to see if someone had appeared. But to no avail, nobody, no, something wasn't there.

I sighed as I headed upstairs for dinner and have to try to act like I didn't just try to summon a demon in my parents' basement. The basement was like a little apartment studio for me.

I came back down after dinner and immediately prepared for bed. I was too disappointed to even look at the pentagram. I got into my red silk shorts and top set that I had gotten for Christmas on. I switched the fan on and then cuddled down comfortably into my comforter.

I woke up to the sound of rustling. My blanket had now been tossed to the floor. I was told by many I thrashed a lot in my sleep. My legs were propped up with my feet on the bed. I groaned tiredly and went to shut my legs but something stopped my legs. I'm blinked in confusion until a moan rippled from my lips as a solid and broad stroke ran across my pussy and clit.

This was when I noticed my thighs were bruised and quivering, thrown over the male that was licking my pussy like it was the best ice cream he wanted to savor. My body covered in a sheen layer of sweat. All I could see of him was his long black hair and his hands that were now holding my thighs. I let out another moan as he delved his tongue deeper and towards my clenching pussy entrance.

"Who.. who are you?" I moaned and that's when I got a slight peek of his face as he lifted his head slightly to look at me. His eyes glinted dangerously, a dark storm that took my breath away.

"You don't even recognize the demon you summoned?" He asked as I heard the sound of him slurping my juices off his lips.

"N-No way..."

"Sorry, I was late, Mortal." He said as he sat up to his full height looking down at my soaked cunt. He spit on his hand and rubbed my clit as he bit his lower lip. I quivered as I saw his full appearance. He was hot and beautiful at the same time. His dark long hair to his nape, a crop top giving me a full view of his beautifully sculpted slutty waist and abs, and finally, a demon skirt hugging his hips.

I had never been much into Fem boys but boy, did this demon know how to pull it off. It almost made me feral. I almost wanted reverse rolls and show him how good I could dominate him. You let out a yelp as he smacked my wet pussy. I let out a quick and short yelp.

"You're so responsive, and a heavy sleeper..." He said as he leaned down and gave your pussy lips another stroke with his tongue, his eyes rolling back as if it was the tastiest thing in the whole universe. "You know you came twice before waking up?" He asked as he lazily stroked two fingers along my pussy lips. My clit was swollen and sensitive, telling me he wasn't lying.

"So you've just been... Eating me out while I was asleep?"

"Well, sweetheart. I was summoned for a reason. you being asleep wasn't about to stop me. Besides, you were enjoying it. The way you were squirming and moaning..." He let out a groan as his head fell back thinking about it. "You're so responsive when you are asleep.. I can't wait to see how responsive you are awake." He purred as he lowered his mouth back to my pussy. I was going to protest until his tongue pushed past my folds and inside my pussy. I let out a loud and startled gasp, my hand flying to my mouth.

My back arched in response. He once again held my thighs over his shoulders as he started eating me. His tongue and teeth are doing everything just right to pleasure me. My mouth was slackened open as I moaned and whimpered into my hand. One hand went to my clit and one went to grope at one of my thighs. I let out whimpers as my thighs were sensitive. My friends would always get startled when I panicked at them setting their hand on my thighs. My thighs were sensitive and a big turn on for me and it seemed like he knew that from how much my thighs had been marked up by his mouth and the way he was squeezing it now.

That wasn't the only thing clenching...

I panted and moaned as his tongue pleased me in an intense way. But I wanted more, I needed more. I wanted it harder. I wanted it faster. I needed it. I struggled to sit up as pleasure rushed over me in waves with each stroke of his tongue. He didn't seem to care why I was moving. I used the position to my advantage and used my legs and thighs to throw him onto his back with his face buried in my pussy.

"Oh fuck yes." He muffled against my pussy and began to eat it ravenously. It quickly took my breath away and I shook above his face for a moment before I settled all the way down and began to jerk my hips. He let out groans into my dripping pussy as I began to ride his face. Sliding my pussy up and down along his mouth and tongue. My thighs were burning and cramping as he encouraged me to ride his face. He tried to bury his face deeper and deeper in my hungry pussy. My moans came faster and became higher pitched as a new orgasm arrived quickly.

"Fuck! Just like that! Fuck yes~" I mewled as my pussy clamped down and his finger continued working my clit. I gave my hips soft jerks as I rode out my high, which he seemed more than happy to give me. Soon enough, I was flipped onto my back once more. His eyes weren't the only thing gleaming now that his face was covered in my pussy juices, which he licked.

"Fuck, that's even better than I imagined. I might come visit you often, Mortal." He purred as he kneaded my hips. "I've never seen one react so sexily like you.." I let out a whimper.

"You get summoned for this often?" I questioned and he grinned wickedly as he pushed down his skirt and revealed a dick you had never seen before. It was similar to a human dick but it had ridges, it almost seemed like it was made for giving more pleasure for fucking.

"Pretty, isn't it Sweetheart? And to answer your question... Yes. I'm a succubus." He purred as he let a hand travel over your breasts and down to give your pussy another stroke, as if to make sure I was still drenched. It was huge and standing erect with its ridges and swollen head. A throb of something in my chest made me feel strange. What was it? I didn't like the idea that he had been with others? Why am I feeling this way? He's just a demon I summoned to fuck me. That's it. A relationship or feelings was not in the terms.

I grabbed his hips as I panted, looking up at him. My eyes traveled from head to toe. I couldn't help but feel my pussy clench at the idea of fucking me with abandon in that denim skirt he was wearing. The idea was so painfully delicious, making me almost cum on the spot.

"I want you to fuck me with this skirt of yours still on.." I said as I pulled the skirt by its waistband and back in his slender waist, the skirt unable to hide the big hard erection he had raging underneath the fabric. A smirk slowly spread across his face as he pulled his skirt up to reveal his pretty dick once more. It was weird using the word 'pretty' for a dick but it was the only word that made sense. He pushed his hands from your hips, to your abdomen, to your breasts and finally settled on your neck. He softly wrapped a hand around it, firm but almost comforting.

I looked up at him and pressed my lips together as he gave himself a couple strokes despite already being hard. Using his thumb and hand to spread the precum along his dick. The lewd sound of his hand squeezing the sensitive flesh as his hand around my neck slowly increased in pressure. His head fell backwards as groans escaped his mouth.

"Shit, I can barely control myself.." He grunted as he gave himself another jerk. "I've never not been able to control myself.." He said before giving a growl and hiking my legs on his shoulders and lining up with my pussy entrance. I let out a low moan as he slowly pushed his swollen head in. My back arched off the bed from the pleasurable burn as he stretched me wide.

"Oh my God....!" I moaned out as he slowly sank into me, stretching me wider and wider with his ridged dick. The pain was immense, my vision blurring and seeing the searing white. But this feeling, this pleasure, this feeling was too much. It felt wrong yet right. There could even be a possibility of this man not being a demon at all and actually someone who broke in and decided to take advantage of me. And right now, I didn't really care. In fact the idea made my pussy clench. He smirks as he feels my tight pussy clench tighter. He leaned closer, his breath fanning over my face in a sexy way. His breath smelt like bubble gum and mint.

How odd.

"What are you thinking about that's getting you more worked up, Sweetheart?" He asked as he gave me a small thrust. I sucked in a breath. I didn't want to tell him, then I would really seem crazy. I remained silent and his grin only grew wider. "Oh, I see. It was something really dirty, huh?" He asked, his hips started to move, picking up pace as if the idea was making him hornier. "Something real nasty. What is it, huh? Tell me. Tell me, Sweetheart." He said desperately as he caressed my face, tucking hair behind my ear while pounding into me, making me lose my breath every time.

"I-" I gasped, I couldn't say it. The words were caught in my throat. I shook my head with a flush and Seonghwa only seemed even more fueled. He continued his thrusts and reached a hand between us to rub my clit. A whimper escaped my lips as his fingers collided with my clit.

"Come on, Baby. Tell me what it is. It must be sinfully delicious to make you clench me so tight. Fuck, you're going to break it in half." He panted as he looked down between us. Watching his dick push in and out without any resistance. The squelching sound loud in the basement. He watched it with a pervert grin and his ridges seemed to get even harder. "Tell me."

"I was just thinking-" I gasped, "that you could easily be an intruder and not actually a demon sinfully good at pleasuring someone." He grinned widely as he began to pound into me harder making me get closer and closer to cumming.

"Does that turn you on? That I could easily be a stranger that broke in and saw a sexy curvy beauty asleep in her innocent yet sexy pj's. I just wanted a taste." He whispers seductively in my ear and a shiver runs through my body. "You just looked so delicious. A little piece... Of heaven. Come on, Angel. Cum for me. Come on, Sweetheart." My body trembled as it tensed painfully before exploding pleasure through my body as I clamped on his big dick. "That really turns you on huh? Fuck. You're kinky." He said jerking his hips up into me.

I couldn't respond as my mouth laid slack as my body spasmed. Jerking and twitching as he kept pushing into me until he finally cummed inside me.

"Fuck yeah, baby. Take it all. Take it and get fucking pregnant, Sweetheart." He grunted as he continued to pump into me. My mind was fuzzy and my body was nothing but melted goo for his handling.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." I panted as he fucked my overstimulated pussy, pushing me quickly to another orgasm. I quickly took control once more, wanting it my own way now. I pulled his head by his hair and began to kiss and suck on his neck. He let out a hum in approval. I let my hands travel, going and cupping his ass through the denim skirt. He let out an approving growl at the way I was touching him and kissing his neck.

"I like when a woman takes control." He grinned in a sexy way and bit his lower lip. I started to ride his dick with moans and he groaned in response. Soon enough he was helping me slam myself down on him. He made me orgasm after orgasm, until I passed out from exhaustion. And when I woke up, the pentagram had been broken and my mysterious lover gone.

[desertduality]

Trustfall

Just a little thing I wrote to explore the Jimmy and Scar dynamic. Set loosely after session two. Enjoy! <3

Night comes, and Scar can't hide from his feelings anymore. They catch up to him - like everything does, eventually. Scar can never run fast enough.

He's on another mountain, this one green and pink and bright, bordered by tall shoots of bamboo and topped with cherry blossom trees, decorated with growing wheat fields and pens that - sometimes - house sheep and cows. It's all so... alive. So beautiful. So fragile.

The beauty of it is not the surprising part. It's not even that he spent the better part of the day eating dirt or leaves or shovels. No, the strangest thing on the mountain is the people. The strangest thing about them is that they're there at all. With Scar. On purpose.

He can't quite figure it out. The why of it. Jimmy had made it look so easy to say he would stay, like he couldn't think of a million reasons not to. And then Lizzie, who he had invited, and then still been surprised to see her there when he got back. They do it without obligation. Scar had almost forgotten what that felt like.

Neither of them are tethered to him by fate or bound by an oath. They're just there, bright and silly and constant. He'd had something close to it, once, with the allies he'd jokingly called his family, but that had been... messy.

Jimmy and Lizzie make caring about him feel like something simple.

Tell me about your theme park idea, Lizzie had said, and he had. He'd braced himself for- for something. For dismissal. For a roll of the eyes.

A good theme park has three things. Lizzie had mused instead. We need rides, decorations, and a mascot. I think one of us here has real mascot energy.

Jimmy's face had lit up. Lizzie had built three birds at the entrance to their base, standing proudly. Scar stares at them now, shadowy figures in the dark. They're a team. And as much as Lizzie jokes and groans about what a handful the two of them are, they're still equals. They understand each other. Lizzie knows what it's like to be alone, overlooked. Jimmy knows what it's like to be seen as a burden, a joke.

Somehow, despite everything, they trust each other. It's terrifying.

"Stargazing?"

Scar jumps at the voice, a quiet yelp escaping his throat before he can stop it. He twists his torso to look, a jerky motion, and lays eyes on Jimmy, who seems a bit apologetic. "Ah, sorry-"

"Geez, Jimmy, oh my god," Scar says through wheezing breaths, hand pressed to his chest. "This is the life series, man, you can't sneak up on- on a man in thought!"

"Right, sorry, sorry," Jimmy continues, laughing a little bit. "Thought you heard me walk over."

Jimmy sits down next to him, clothes rumpled from bed. It's quiet, fireflies blinking and crickets chirping in the distance. The moon is nearly full, high in the sky. It's early enough in the game that a full nights sleep is still an option. And yet-

"Couldn't sleep?" Jimmy asks, tone light but genuine.

"Oh, you know," Scar says, humming. "Stomach ache. Dirt doesn't agree with me. Who knew?"

"Yeah, glad that one's over." Jimmy stretches his legs out in front of him. "Think I chipped a tooth. I'm billing Grian."

Scar laughs quietly, mindful of Lizzie snoring just a few yards away. That's another thing he's not quite used to: sleeping with others nearby. It's comforting. He's afraid he'll get used to it.

They sit in silence for a while, comfortable and secure. Their frankly absurd amount of bamboo rustles in the gentle wind, cherry blossom petals perpetually raining down around them. It's the kind of perfect peace that has Scar waiting on the other shoe to drop.

"...What was winning like?" Jimmy asks eventually, voice soft.

"...I don't know," Scar says. "It didn't really feel like winning. It was kind of just, like. Sad."

"Sad?"

"Yeah." Scar sighs, leaning back to look at the stars. "I thought it might make me feel better, to just- to prove that I could."

Jimmy hums like he's really listening, like he understands, and Scar... Something settles. Something that has been flinching for a very long time goes still.

"I was tired of being alone," he admits. "Still am. I end up that way a lot."

"Not this time," Jimmy says, a lopsided smile on his face. "Not on my watch."

He places a comforting hand on Scar's shoulder. Grounding. Real.

Oh, Scar thinks. This is what it's like to have something to lose.

"You sure it's not too early to say that?" Scar asks, half teasing. "You might be running for the hills a week from now. I'm not- I'm not an easy teammate."

"Hey, me neither, pal." Jimmy nudges him, smile a bit jagged at the edges. "I'm known for dying early. I've got issues with longevity."

"They make medicine for that."

"Wh- Scar!"

Scar doubles over, wheezing uncontrollably. Jimmy follows helplessly, in a way that almost sounds painful. It continues for a while, until Lizzie makes a small noise in her sleep, and the two of them choke back their laughter to something manageable, tapering back into silence. Scar feels... happy. He feels happy. It's...

"How about you?" Scar asks. "Anything you want to get off your chest? Just between us. And the giant parrot statues."

"Ehh, I don't know," Jimmy says playfully, eying the parrots suspiciously. "I don't know if I trust 'em."

"And me?"

"You?" Jimmy glances sideways at him, eyes light and honest. "Of course. We're the Bam Boys."

Trust is something that Scar had thought he'd killed a long time ago. Jimmy offers it anyway. It's like a lighthouse in a storm. The sun to a flower. Water in a desert.

Trust. Just this once, Scar vows not to break it.

"So," Scar says, like nothing just happened. "Anything?"

Jimmy exhales shakily, looking away, down at his hands. There's dirt under his fingernails. Scar waits.

"I don't want to die first," Jimmy says, a faint tone of embarrassment in his voice. "I know it's like, a thing, but I really..."

Canary, they call him. A creature whose purpose is to die.

Scar knows a thing or two about unwanted titles. He sometimes feels like the role of Villain is still branded onto his skin, with the way some people look at him.

I don't want to die, cries the Canary, but the miner only pays attention when the singing stops.

"You won't," Scar says, as close to a promise as he can get. "Not this time. Not on my watch."

Jimmy grins crookedly, something relieved at the corners of his eyes. "That right?"

"That's right."

They go back to bed.

[wantondoe]

Birthday Sinner

Hello you dirty sinner~ (<- Did you like that, you mommy's little who-) Today's my birthday so I wanted to write something to celebrate that! I thought this would be wholesome!

Plot: You celebrate your birthday with the Hazbin Hotel characters :D (comedy) / Warnings: cursing and sexual themes, but still SWF imo (naturally) / gender neutral reader / CONTAINS SPOILERS

!! By now I've mostly written comedic stories, let me know down in the comments (or somewhere) if you have any requests. Also, I'm still pretty new to the app so please excuse my clumsiness. Anyway, enjoy! (Or don't, if you're a masochist) !!

The day before your birthday

You were casually spending an evening in the living area with the rest of the staff. You were passively scrolling through Voxtagram, when Charlie asked something.

"So, someone's birthday is coming up, huh?" Charlie spoke with a slightly hesitant voice. You raised a brow.

"Very subtle", Angel commented sarcastically.

"Aaand-", Charlie continued, "we, we were all wondering..." she awkwardly paused, seeing if anyone else would try to ask about your birthday plans. "WE WERE ALL THNKING-"

"We were thinking about throwing you a birthday party", Vaggie finished Charlie's sentence.

"Guys, that's so sweet, but... I'm much too old to celebrate my birthday... I was just planning on having a laid-back day in my room", you answer, putting down your phone.

"That sounds sad", Angel pointed out. "Come on, it'll be your birthday, toots! Loosen up a bit!"

"Angel's right", Husk agreed. "You should do something special for your big day, kiddo."

"Honestly, I've just gotten too lazy to think about throwing a party. My birthday isn't a big deal anyway..."

Nifty jumped on the sofa with you, her singular eye glowing. "Birthdays are the best! How old are you going to be?"

Alastor emerged from the shadows, his lean figure appearing behind you. "Nifty dear you should never ask someone about their age!"

"Dammit Alastor, don't sneak up on me like that!" you jolted. "Guys, I really appreciate your offers, but I don't need a huge party... Good night everyone!" That being said, you made your way upstairs towards the bedroom.

After you were gone, Charlie spoke again: "Guys, I think we should throw her the biggest, craziest birthday ever!

Birthday morning:

Today you'd spoil yourself. You'd sleep in, take a hot bath, eat a luxurious breakfast, and perhaps go on a refreshing walk in Cannibal Town.

Sitting up on the bed, you stretched your arms before walking to the bathtub. You carefully placed a fluffy towel on a stool next to the tub before sinking into the hot water. You closed your eyes, feeling the water around relaxing every muscle of yours. Finally, some relaxing alone time-

A slight frown formed between your brows as you heard Angel and Vaggie yell something in the aisle. You tried to brush it off, but it sounded like chaos emerging. Vaggie yelled something at Angel, and then there was a sound of silverware hitting the floor, followed by Angel's high pitched scream.

Alright, so that was odd. But you wouldn't let their antics ruin your peaceful morning! After you were done with the bath, you got up and carefully dried yourself. After slipping on your favorite clothes, you made your way downstairs.

Apparently, Nifty had been feeling extra productive, as she had made breakfast for everyone. There were pancakes, eggs, fruits, drinks... Everything you could imagine. They had even gotten a chocolate fountain!

"Happy birthday", the all said in unison.

"Wow, guys this is... This is amazing", you walked further into the dining area. "Is this for me...?"

"We wanted to make something special for your birthday!" Charlie clapped her hands.

"This certainly is", you take a seat between Angel and Alastor. "Thank you."

"Of course! Anything for a lovely sinner like you!" Alastor smiled, making you blush slightly.

Charlie looked smitten. "Now to sing happy birthday-"

"Don't you fucking dare", you cut in.

"I wasn't going to sing anyway", Husk admitted.

"Husk, you are a true friend", you smile at the grumpy cat demon.

"Oh, well", Charlie shrugged, "enjoy!"

Birthday, 11 am

You were craving a glass of ice water, so you made your way downstairs to the kitchen. For your surprise, you found Alastor casually standing in front of the door, efficiently blocking the way.

"Hello-!"

"Alastor, why are you blocking the door?" you stand close to him. He frowned a bit, but his wide grin remaining.

"Well, I'm afraid you can't use the kitchen right now my dear!" he explained with his usual cheerful tone.

"What? Why? The kitchen was fine in the morning!"

"My dear there's a plumbing issue!" Alastor lied effortlessly. However, the noises coming behind the door were rather unconvincing.

Vaggie behind the door: Dammit Angel I told you to use the timer!

Angel behind the door: It might still be edible, we just need to take off the burnt parts-

Vaggie behind the door: It's all burnt!

Alastor sighed at the noises coming behind the door. Soon, an intense smell of burnt food made its way through the door.

"Alastor, you lying piece of wendigo", you call him out. "I'll just grab some water-" you say, your hand reaching the doorknob.

"THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE AT THE MOMENT", Alastor rushed to say, gently smacking your hand away using his radio staff.

"For the love of all that is unholy, why won't you let me in!"

"I, uh", Alastor's charismatic persona dropped for a bit.

"You're being so weird!" you groan in frustration, marching away.

After your form was nowhere to be seen anymore, Alastor peeked his head through the door. "WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE? Can't you two make a cake without being overly suspicious about it?"

Vaggie huffed at Alastor. "Well, you'd be welcome to make this cake, but you'd probably spoil it by using human blood anyway!"

Angel cried, holding an utterly burnt chocolate cake in his spider arms. "I did follow the recipe!"

Vaggie: "Angel, you waste of a jawline!"

Birthday afternoon

Charlie was talking on her phone in the lobby, as she spotted you. Her eyes widened and she instinctively moved to block the door.

"Not this shit again", you mutter. "Charlie, not you too! Why are you all trying to block my way everywhere?!"

"Where do you think you're going?" Charlie asked awkwardly.

"Outside, for a walk. I'm a free sinner-"

"That just won't do!" she blocked the doorway with her body.

"Dammit Charlie!" you curse, marching back in the hotel.

Charlie watched you disappear in the hotel before lifting the phone on her ear again. "Yes, dad. We need 100 balloons and a Vox-shaped pinata. Yes that was Alastor's idea..."

Birthday evening

Frustrated, you had spend your whole birthday chilling on your bed. Your eyes were already drying up from staring at your phone all day. You didn't even notice someone sneaking behind you. The last thing you remembered was something blunt hitting the back of your head before a total blackout.

You had no idea how much time had passed. You woke up, only to realize you were blindfolded. Then you panicked as you realized you were tied up on a chair. However, your panic melted away as soon as you heard the familiar voices.

Charlie: Nifty! I told you to bring them here, not to... assault them!

Nifty: Those are the same thing!

Angel: Ooh you tied them up! How kinky!

Cherry Bomb: Very sexy indeed. Am I the only one imagining them naked?

Angel: Nope.

Husk: Dammit Nifty! What if they wake up with brain damage?

Vaggie: Do we have the balloons? Also, where's Lucifer?

Charlie: Ah, dad couldn't join us, he's still recovering from the hemorrhoid surgery (if you know you know, if you don't, go read my post "Drop Dead Gorgeous"). He even had to get one of those hemorrhoid pillows!

Angel: No anal for Lucifer for a while...

Alastor: Now now, Angel, don't be lewd.

Angel: I'm bored just standing here! When is the bitch going to wake up?!

You smirk. "I am awake, Angel."

A long silence followed your statement.

Charlie: Uh, ha ha, that's great. Uh, Nifty, will you undo your... The blindfold and the ropes?

"Surprise!"

"Surprise motherfucker", Angel grinned.

You were freed from your restrains in mere seconds. You saw all your friends gathered around you. They were smiling awkwardly, wishing you happy birthday in unison. You noticed the ridiculous amount of balloons behind them and a pinata that really did look like Vox.

"You guys really went out of your ways to make this happen huh?" You couldn't deny it, it was impressive. Knowing the hazbins and their quirks, you were surprised that they had been able to put up everything so nicely.

"We just thought you should have a proper birthday, my dear", Alastor chuckled.

"You guys really won't give up huh. Thank you", you giggled. "Alright, you win. Let's party."

"Okay, so first, we got some presents!" Charlie motioned towards the pile of presents in the living room.

You kept opening the gifts, your heart fluttering as they had gifted things you had actually asked for. Then came Angel's turn.

"Happy birthday toots", Angel wished, smirking widely.

"Angel, this present is clearly the shape of a dildo", you state.

"Hey! Don't ruin the surprise!" Angel pouted. "It's not just any dildo, it has 13 different vibrating modes-"

You ripped the wrapping, revealing a huge dildo. You read the text on the package: "Hellpounder 3000, size XL." Your eyes widened as it started vibrating violently. "Angel for the love of Satan!"

Charlie coughed awkwardly while Alastor's aura got exponentially darker.

"Pretty sweet huh?" Angel winked an eye. "I promise you, it gives multiples, every time-"

"Alright!" you blush. "Thank you Angel, I can tell you really care about my, uh, well being", you wrap the dildo back in the paper.

Surprise guest

"We have one final surprise for you!" Charlie's smile widened, if that was even possible by now. "We have someone very special who's come all the way from heaven!"

A familiar serpent figure stepped from the shadows.

"Oh my Hell... Do my eyes deceive me?" You stepped closer. "Sir Pentious! It really is you!" You jumped to hug your old friend. "Look at you all dressed up in white! It does suit you! Ah, it's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too my old friend!" Sir Pentious smiled. "I'm glad they let me visit Hell every now and then!"

"How's Heaven treating you?" you ask curiously.

"It's pretty nice, though sometimes I find myself missing Hell, especially you people", Sir Pentious responded with a longing expression.

"You're the best birthday present ever!" you hum happily, giving him one more hug.

"I resent that", Angel crossed his arms.

"Come on Sir Pentious! Let's cut the cake!" you lead the snake to the kitchen followed by the others.

Cutting the cake

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, dirty sinner, happy birthday to you", they sangs happily as you laughed softly, cutting the ridiculously large cake.

"This is my favorite cake guys!" you exclaim.

"I know my cake", Angel smirked. "Yeah, you like eating cake don't you-"

"Ahem", Alastor furrowed his brows.

Even Lucifer had joined them through a video call.

"Happy birthday kid!" Lucifer smiled through the screen. "I'm sorry I couldn't join today..."

"It's okay Lulu, how's the recovery?" you ask while the others cut the cake.

"Well, the hemorrhoid surgery was a success, but this recovery bullshit sure is painful. Like, everything I do reminds me of my ass. Trying to walk, sitting down, taking a dump-"

"That's cool, just keep talking about your ass while we eat cake", Husk muttered.

"I see it as very fitting", Angel chuckled. "You know, eating cake and talking about ass-"

"AHEM", Alastor raised his voice again.

"Damn, no Hellpounder 3000 for Lucifer anytime soon", Angel mumbled while moving to the side to grab some drinks.

"Well, I see you have your hemorrhoid pillow", you giggle. "It's gonna be fine, Lulu. Maybe next week Charlie can pick you up and bring you here to spend time with us!"

"Oh that would be just lovely. I'd be so pleased to get a visit from out hemorrhoid-ridden king", Alastor said, his cheery voice dripping with sarcasm.

You smiled at Lucifer and Alastor started bickering on the phone. You walk over to Vaggie. "Vaggie, I know none of this party would've succeeded if it wasn't for you. You truly are the backbone of this hotel and our little group of misfits. Thank you", you hug the fallen angel.

"T-thank you", Vaggie smiled shyly, feeling good that her effort was recognized. "That means a lot."

...

The party was going well. Everyone found their ways to keep themselves entertained. Vaggie and Charlie were eating snacks and talking with Lucifer on the phone, Alastor was enjoying a whiskey at Husk's bar. Nifty ran around the hotel with balloons, her manic laughter echoing in the hallways.

Even Fat Nuggets, Angel's adorable pet piglet had joined then. The pink piglet sniffed on the empty plates. Noticing the piglet's hunger, Charlie cut a piece of cake and placed the plate on the floor. "There you go, piggy."

You sat on the sofa with Angel as Alastor passionately beat up the Vox-shaped pinata.

"Oh my, he's really beating the shit out of that pinata", Angel raised an eyebrow.

"Even blindfolded, he manages to hit the right spots", you take a sip of your drink.

"That sounded hot", Angel said casually as you choked on your drink.

"Angel for fuck's sake!" you curse.

Alastor hit the pinata one final time before the candy fell out. Nifty was blissfully jumping around, catching the candy.

"Oh, aren't those two cute?"

You and Angel watch Alastor and Nifty interact. There was almost something daughter and father -like about the way the two interacted.

You noticed Sir Pentious in the opposite corner of the room, trying to flirt with Cherry Bomb.

Sir Pentious: So, if you were in Heaven... Would you open your heavenly gates for me?

You giggled with Angel at Sir Pentious' adorable attempts to flirt.

"Well, I must say this party turned out well. I feel like we've all been busy with the Hotel lately, so much so that we haven't gotten together like this for a while", you speak lazily.

"Yeah toots, your birthday was the perfect excuse to spend some quality time or whatever shit", Angel mumbled back, clearly intoxicated from the alcohol. "And I mean, look, we got Sir Pentious to visit too..."

"Man we are getting sentimental as fuck", you mumble, watching your friends enjoy the party. "It's like... We are having a deep conversation."

"So deep", Angel nodded with a suggestive tone. "You know toots, you should really give that Hellpounder 3000 a chance."

"Alright, I will", you rolled your eyes. "Man, this has been one of the best birthdays I've ever had."

Extra

It had been two weeks since your birthday. Charlie had decided to throw a casual family dinner at the Hotel, mainly because Lucifer seemed lonely. After all, Lucifer had been unable to join your birthday, which had left his pride wounded.

You were setting the table with Angel and Nifty as you saw Lucifer's car driven by Charlie enter the Hotel's front.

You walked closer to the window with Angel and watched the father and daughter struggle.

Charlie, trying to Help Lucifer out of the car: Dad, just take my hand!

Lucifer: It hurts too much! I can't do this...

Charlie: Come on dad, we made your favorite food! Here, let me carry your apple cane-

Lucifer, holding his butt: Charlie! CHARLIE! I think I popped the stitches! My hemorrhoids never leave me!

Charlie: Dad come on, walk along with me-

Lucifer with genuine panic in his voice: No! NO! We forgot my hemorrhoid pillow! I can't go anywhere without it! Please we have to get it-

Charlie: Okay, relax dad! I got the pillow, see? Now let's go!

Angel turned to look at you. "Well, this will be an interesting dinner."

"Poor Lulu tho", you chuckle as you glance through the window, seeing Lucifer being carried by his daughter. "We love our short king."

[heycallmeplease]

She was forever unexpected and I was drunk on that about her. She was the love that came without warning, she had carved out my heart before i could've said no, and she always had that look in her eyes, the brightness of love and kindness and that everything was possible, i felt it too — when I was with her. I want to fall in love with her all over again, I want to get ruined again, only if she's the one breaking my heart

[kyouka-supremacy]

Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)

[fragglerockopinions]

.

[scarletcomet]

scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die

[rancidarling]

oh for fucks sake i wish i would just throw up at this point

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

Guess who almost fainted at a party tonight and spent the rest of it sitting on the floor with bowls of snacks

[heybaetae]

.

[visdiefje]

I MISS living in a house with bug screens... For any future housing unless it is windy enough to blow anything small away, bug screens are a NECESSITY

[pandora15]

i think it's really rude of the excedrin i took a few hours ago to not work

[irisbaggins]

Guess what, I've worked what probably amounts to half of my total hours, in one fucking month. My store is resting on my shoulders, it seems, and boy do I feel that. I have not had a moment's rest since my vacation, and uh, it's probably not sustainable? Maybe?

Anyway. Guess who's going to be travelling for hours on end and then arrive just a day before a mandatory University lecture? It's me!