#i don't sleep or eat much (not that i eat much now) and everything in my brain is too fast and the world is so sharp
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shysuccubusstuff · 1 day ago
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Yandere! Mr. Crawling
Content: SFW hcs + Established relationship + Overprotection + Manipulation + Baby trapping + clingy! Mr. Crawling + Gaslighting + Somnophilia + Stalking + Death + Breeding kink + Slight size difference.
Summary: Human! Mr. Crawling who tries to keep his deep love secret from you
Note: I hope all of you are having a good day!! I'm trying to do my essays but they're so boring... Let me know if you have any suggestions/things you want to say to me, I love answering to people!!
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SFW:
Human! Mr. Crawling who falls in love as soon as he sees your face.
Human! Mr. Crawling who decides to try and keep you safe and protect you from all possible dangers. This ranges from leaving small gifts for you, buying you something to eat when he hears a rumble close to him, or buying you a drink if he has seen you working so hard on keeping up with all the classes, to sometimes intimidating the other guys that kept trying to get closer to you.
Human! Mr. Crawling who tries his hardest to speak to you, even if it's just a few words to make sure you know he's listening to you. Nodding his head and keeping his eyes completely focused on your face.
Human! Mr. Crawling who tries to make himself look smaller, crunching a bit and walking with his back a bit arched, not something that can be easily noticeable for others, but just enough to reduce the height difference between the two of you.
Human! Mr. Crawling who is finally able to make you feel safe with him, allowing him to get into your bedroom, even to the point of making a sleepover. He just had to try his hardest not to act in any weird manner.
Human! Mr. Crawling who keeps following you like a lost puppy. You can almost see two ears and a tail appear when he acts like a small puppy, being easily excited when you compliment him, even if it's for the smallest things.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who begins to feel how his pure love becomes something more twisted the moment he realises more people keep getitng interested in you. He looks so kind when you look at him, but as soon as you turn your head, his gaze becomes much darker, his expression is always serious, his brows slightly furrowed as he tries to keep himself restrained.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who takes advantage of you great "friendship" and starts to try and get rid of your friends. He keeps on interrupting when you meet with your other friends, creating different reasons why he just couldn't wait to meet you, as he truly needed you.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who takes advantage of his sickly aspect to make you worry about him, calling you to ask you for small gestures, making sure that they are small enough to avoid you from refusing him.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who is finally able to ask you out. He made sure to get rid of each and all your friends who could get in the way of your relationships, after all, he is everything you need, right?
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NSFW:
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who had already seen you way before both of you met each other in class, his phone filled to the brim with pictures of you. The fact that most of them involve you in embarrasing positions while the rest are of your sleeping face. They definitely have no effect on him, hell no (just ignore the raging bulge he gets from seeing your lips slightly parted, totally normal reaction).
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who put a small chip on your phone while you were sleeping. How was he supposed to keep you safe if he didn't know where you were the whole day? Don't be so dramatic, he was just doing it for your sake :((
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who killed someone in front of you. He was stalking you around town when he saw that strange man grabbing you by your wrist and taking you to the closest dark alley. Before he could think, his hands were already gripping his throat, his face turning blue as his grasp got even stronger. When he finally was sure that man was no longer alive, he turned around, a happy smile on his lips as he waited for your compliments. He was now on his real height, allowing you to notice how he was over one head and a half taller than you, despite that, he made you pet his hair, forcing you to smile as the body of the strange man got colder.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling whose obsession only increases the moment the two of you decide to date. His arms are now always around your waist, his hands always touching you, no matter if you are alone or in front of other people. He just loves hugging you from behind, his dick rubbing against your ass, grinding against you as soon as he saw you do something he didn't like.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who forces his cock inside you, filling you load after load just to prove that you're truly his one and only. He doesn't stop until he sees his seed dripping from your hole, your eyes rolling to your skull with fat tears rolling down your cheeks from the overstimulation.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who keeps blabbering about impregnating you during sex, he doesn't even care about your gender, he WILL impregnate you. He will defy Mother Nature for you, filling you one after the other and not pulling out until the next morning.
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who masturbates with your clothes the moment he misses you, he doesn't care if you have been away for barely a few hours, he just misses his sweet darling so much :(( Not his fault that your clothes are filled with your sweet scent...
Yandere! Mr. Crawling who masturbates to your sleeping face while the both of you sleep together. He loves feeling you close to him, all relaxed as your expressions sometimes change to one of pure bliss... He hugs you from behind, beginning to grind against your ass as an attempt to keep himself in check. This of course doesn't work, which forces him to use his own hand to masturbate, slowly getting on top of you so he can get an extremely detailed view of your sleeping face.
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entitled-fangirl · 2 days ago
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Foolish.
Gwayne Hightower x reader
Summary: Gwayne’s wife feels self conscious after birthing their daughter.
Warning: body image issues, smut mention towards the end (there’s not smut but like there is so 18+ please)
A/n: based on an ask from forever ago!!
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………………………………………
It had been almost five months at this point, and Gwayne was beginning to worry.
Her body had given him a precious little girl, and he wanted to praise her endlessly for it. Her recovery had went smoothly to his knowledge, no tears or aches from it at this point, and still he wondered why she had not initiated anything with him.
She was most likely skittish. She always had been skittish about this stuff, but he had hoped that she was not regretting their actions now that they had the consequences.
He sat in his solar, his mind plagued by all of these thoughts.
He scribbled at the papers but his mind was entirely elsewhere, and by the time he had to restart a letter for the third time, he gave up. Tossing the pen aside, he stretched out his aching shoulders and legs as he stood up to address the problem itself.
Y/n Hightower walked around the room, the babe rested securely in her arms as she swayed.
Her lips pulled up as she admired the babe. The spitting image of her father. Bright fiery hair to match the deep blue irises of her eyes. She was a sight to behold.
But it made her thoughts shift back to Gwayne. And immediately an unease of guilt came with it.
Five months she'd put it all off. The conversation. The rejection she knew she'd receive if she tried.
Before the birth, and before the pregnancy at all, Gwayne had proudly shown off his wife like a prized possession- a perfect thing that would make even the most well off lord jealous. He adored her with everything he had and he was happy to do so.
So pregnancy felt like a death sentence.
If she were to even live, how could Gwayne show off a woman with the scars and marks that she now was marred with?
She had lived, and now she bore the remnants of what their daughter had left behind. Marks of her body stretching, a loosening in her skin, her bones in her hips occasionally requiring attention. She had indeed recovered but she was not as she was before.
And she knew Gwayne would notice it soon.
"And how is our precious gift?" His voice echoed in the room when he stepped in. His hands were held behind his back, a sway to his steps.
"Oh," she sighed. "She's wonderful. Sleeping soundly."
Gwayne stepped behind her, his arms wrapping around her frame. She inwardly cringed. She was so scared of his mind in this moment.
But whatever she worried he may have noticed, he paid no real attention to.
He leaned over her shoulder to kiss her cheek, peering down at the babe. "She is comfortable with you. She knows how safe you are. I believe she feels what I feel."
The woman's brows furrowed. "And what's that?"
His voice whispered in her ear, "That you are the most wondrous woman in the realm, and she and I am grateful for you."
Just like the compliments he used to pay her. It's almost as if nothing changed. But she knew things had changed. So much had changed. It was eating at her.
That, and his wandering hands over her hips.
"Gwayne," she gently chided like she always did when he'd grow handsy.
"Why not? Why can't I enjoy my wife's beauty for a moment?" Hopefully he'd finally get an answer to her avoidance of him.
"You know what I'll say."
He sighed. He did know what she always said. 'Not today.' Not today felt more like a promise to 'Never again.' He hated to push like this, but he was getting nothing to help mend the bond, and he'd do anything to save it.
"You've been feeling well. The babe is asleep. We'll stop when you wish." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I just want to admire my wife."
"You don't.”
Her answer was so swift. So sure. She fully believed that he didn't want to admire her pretty form.
"I do," he argued in confusion. He now stepped around to look her in the eye. "I promise you that I do. Why would I lie?"
Her eyes avoided his like hiding a deep secret. She used the babe like a shield, keeping her attention on the young child in hopes that Gwayne would drop the issue.
"Love?" He tried as he head tilted down to catch her eye.
It worked, and her pupils fixed on his. "It's complicated."
"It's not," he reasoned. "There is nothing complicated for us. We love each other about all else." A thought came over him. "Don't we?"
"We… we do," she drew out, almost like a question.
He was growing frustrated. "Please. Lay the babe down so we may discuss something of importance."
"Gwayne-"
"-Do as I say." It was a snap, one that Gwayne had never done to her. Not like that. Usually it was with a teasing grin or a kind smile. This one was of expectance.
She knew this was the conversation she had been putting off.
His rejection of her.
He knew this was the conversation he had been putting off.
Her rejection of him.
The two lovers felt the air around them grow cold as they simply stared at one another. How horrid it felt to be unwanted.
Gwayne was a merciful man. She knew that he'd have the heart to send her back to her father if this is how it would go.
But a life away from her child would be torture.
The destruction of her body. All for what?
"Alright," she mouthed, for no breath came from her lips.
With shaking hands, she placed the babe in the small bed Gwayne had spent the time to fashion himself. She recalled the curses he strung together when he had gained a rather deep splinter and she was the one to pluck it from his skin. And the night they spent after that. Seemed Gwayne liked to be taken care of quite a lot.
But she forced it from her mind. Now was not the time to reminisce.
When she turned from the crib, she saw the tears that pricked at her husband's eyes.
And how her heart screamed.
"Let us retire," he softly suggested. "I'll have someone look after her. Come." He held his hand out.
She took it, though it felt right, she began to question if it truly was.
The walk to their chamber was silent. But it spoke volumes.
Once inside, Gwayne didn't want to wait longer. "Your mind is so plagued. I wish you'd speak."
"Was is there for me to say? You're the one." Her voice quivered at her last declaration, "Just do it. Send me away.”
"Wh-Why would I do such a thing?" He asked in a horrified tone. How could she even think he would let something like that happen? His wife. His bright light.
"Don't pretend you haven't noticed it all, Gwayne. You're wise. You've seen the changes in me. I'm not the same prize you once had."
"Prize? What are you talking about? You're my wife."
"DO NOT PRETEND YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED IT ALL, GWAYNE!" She shouted at him. "I'm different now. And if you do not love me anymore, just say so!"
Gwayne merely gawked. Even if he tried to form words, nothing would have left his throat. Did she really think that? His blue eyes stared at her in confusion.
"Gwayne," she whined. She wrapped her arms around herself. "Say something. Please."
"W- You- I…" He stopped to regain his bearings, taking a deep breath. "I love you."
Her brows furrowed a bit. "You do?"
"Yes!" He almost shouted on accident. "Yes. Of course I do. And you…?"
Now the confusion turned to her. "I… I love you more than anything," she stated as if obvious and he was a fool for questioning so.
His head quirked to the side, then an amused scoff from his lips. His hands found their way to his hips. "Then what are we fighting over?"
"I've changed."
"In what ways?" He challenged.
"Well," her arms gave an over exaggerated shrug, like he should already know what she meant. When his stare continued, she huffed. "Just… my body is different."
"You've recovered well. Haven't you?" What started out as a statement turned to a worried question.
"As much as I can," she remarked. Her self consciousness was showing once again. She wished she didn't have to spell it out for him.
Gwayne's hand reached out to her hip, tugging her lightly to him. It was comfortable. It was normal. He had done it a million times before. "It seems the only fight happening at this moment is the one in your mind." He brushed another stray here from her cheek. "Tell me what fills that head of yours."
Her voice was a whisper as she looked at her husband. "I only think of you."
"And our little girl," he said with a quirk of his lips. "So tell me what thoughts you have of me."
"My body has changed too much for us to be as we were. You'd be so unhappy."
The thumb that was caressing the woman's hip bone paused. "All this because you believe I'd be unhappy with your body? Answer me."
A curt nod.
"You-" He sighed and brought a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I had a bath set up but I think you need it far more than I. C'mon."
The copper tub sat on the other side of their room. He had ordered a servant to do so prior to him leaving his solar, and that had been a little while ago now that he thought about it.
When he tried to gently push her in that direction, she took offense. "What are you saying, Gwayne?"
"Love, I just meant… " he sighed, "Get in the tub.”
Even when frustrated, Gwayne had never led her astray and she hoped it would be the same now. She stepped to the tub, dipping her hand in to find that it was not cold. A decent temperature.
And when Gwayne went to pull at the laces of her dress, she panicked. "Wait!" She spun around to see his worried expression. Her hands grabbed his wrists. "I don't want to do this."
He frowned. "I've seen you bare before, my love. Many times," he remarked, a grin on his face when her cheeks flushed. "C'mon. Do this one thing for me."
"Was giving you a child not enough?" She sassed back.
He scoffed. "Love. You know what I mean. Let me wash you."
She studied him for a minute. "Fine."
Turning her back around, Gwayne unlaced her bodice and slowly helped her undress. As soon as her soft skin came to his view, he placed soft kisses on her shoulder and up her neck.
The sight of her shift falling to the ground made her stomach twist.
Gwayne knew her so well. Her hands came up to cover herself, but he caught her wrists quickly. He nipped behind her ear. "Get in."
He helped her in, kneeling down at the side of the tub. He took extra care to not look at her body in the water in respect to her. At least for now. His gaze stuck to her face and shoulders. "You foolish girl," he teased sweetly, His fingers grazed over her cheek. "Do you truly believe I'd leave you because your body gave me a child? Hardly. Hardly, woman."
She leaned into his touch.
"May I wash you?" He asked softly.
Her bottom lip tucked between her teeth in thought. A nod.
"Alright." He pulled himself around the tub to kneel behind her, pulling her hair over her shoulder to expose her shoulders and back. When his fingers ran down her shoulder, a shiver moved down her spine, making him smirk. "I dare to say that you've missed my touch."
"I think I have," she admitted.
Gwayne's rough hands handled her gently, rubbing the soap over her arms and shoulders gently before pausing on her chest. A silent question was on the tip of his tongue.
Her head leaning back. That was an answer.
His hand ran over her breasts and he took note of the way her breath caught each time. Swollen with milk for their daughter. It's true that that was different than before, but Gwayne loved it. "So pretty," he muttered under his breath.
His hands moved lower, moving down her stomach and over the small stretch marks across the skin there. He didn't pause. Didn't falter. He continued as if he didn't even notice them at all. He carefully washed her, taking his time and being extra gentle, muttering praises under his breath.
Lastly, his hand ran down the inside of her thigh, moving up to gently graze over her clit. She jumped, but a little groan came from her throat. She grabbed his wrist. "I need you."
Oh how those words affected him.
A few hours later, Gwayne massaged the oil onto her shoulders gently, pressing his thumbs into her shoulder blades in a relaxing way. He had massaged all of her at this point, and she was barely awake, the massage and the past few orgasms leaving her out of it.
He kissed her head with a grin. "Thank you, my sweet lady wife. For everything."
She only hummed.
How foolish of them to ever doubt each other.
…………………………………..
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persphonesorchid · 3 days ago
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Echoes Of Nebula - MYG
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Summary: Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, a part of each other, one and the same. Stars don’t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.  
Genre: Exes to lovers, angst, fluff
Word Count: 5.5k
Warning(s): I don't think there's any, but let me know if I've missed! Any mistakes are my own, I proofread this one (1) time 😭
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Notes: Eep, hello! Here's this lil thing I've been working on! Also, Yoongi and Mc didn't end on bad terms, their separation was somewhat mutual and they're all good :)). Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged! Enjoy!
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“Make sure to eat, okay?” 
Snow swirls along the train tracks, following a gust as a train pulls into the station.  There’s the bustle of people getting on and some getting off, bundled up warmly against the winter air. Some are going to see their families, some are taking a break from theirs. Some of them are stepping onto the train to never step foot in this town again. Some of them are just starting the first day of their adult lives. 
Min Yoongi? He’s moving to Seoul.  
Your hands tuck the ends of his scarf securely into his sweater, staring at him like you’re trying to memorize his face. Your tears make tracks against your cheeks and dry quickly in the cold.  
Min Yoongi is breaking up with his girlfriend.  
“Eat on time. And I don’t mean ramyeon because you’re too lazy to cook.” You sniffle, and Yoongi wipes under your eyes with his thumbs. His glove has a hole in it. Not that it matters much right now, he’s trying to get you to stop crying. “Sleep on time, not when the sun’s coming up.”  
Min Yoongi is trying not to cry.  
“Okay.” He holds you still because he’s trying to memorize your face. He’s got pictures, even the silly ones that he took and promised to delete, but they won’t compare. “I’m sorry.” 
He must’ve apologised for the millionth time. He doesn’t know what else to say.  
You nod, smile — sadly, tears on your waterline — and, “I understand.” for the millionth time.  
He’s moving to Seoul, a long way away from Daegu.  
A mixtape he made for shits and giggles took off and pulled him with it, and he has no choice but to follow. Your life is in this little town like a ship in a bottle and like a captain you’ll go down with it. You can’t follow.  
You both talked about it for days, compromising, bargaining, but in the end, your lives are going separate ways.  
Stars either explode or implode when they die, and Yoongi feel like the star you’re both made of has finally reached its end. It’s imploding, folding in on itself and pulling everything with it.  
He has five minutes left to take you in, how the tears shine in your eyes despite his efforts, the string of the necklace he won you at a fair peeking from behind your scarf. The way you smile and your eyes squint, the way he could feel the chill of your hands through his gloves.  
He wants to stay right here in this moment and never leave if it meant he could take you in for five minutes till eternity.  
“Remember to...” His throat feels raw, but it’s because of the cold and definitely not because he’s crying. The lump in his throat makes it hard to swallow. He looks somewhere above your head to give himself a second, things like these are always hard for him. “Remember to dress for the weather.”  
He squeezes your hands, takes a breath that he almost chokes on, and looks back at you. “Don’t skip meals. Get warm when you feel cold. Always carry an umbrella in July.”  
Sometime later, Yoongi will wonder if the things he reminded you to do made much sense, if they mattered at all. Wonders if you’d actually remember. The umbrella one is really important; you always forget.  
He sat where he could see you when his five minutes were up and eternity never came. Waving from behind a glass and missing the warmth of you and the sound of your voice. He watches you wipe your tears and smile big and you walk alongside the train when it pulls off and then you run, and then, Yoongi could no longer see you.  
Min Yoongi broke up with his girlfriend and left her in the middle of winter chasing a train.  
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July is always rainy. 
And every time it rains, Min Yoongi remembers the love he left in winter. He wonders if you remember to carry an umbrella. It’s been five years; he wonders if you remember him at all. 
He watches the rain splash into puddles and listens to the patter against his umbrella. Seoul bustles on, indifferent to the weather, its crowds meandering through the mid-summer downpour. Despite the season’s warmth, a stray breeze slips past his collar and reminds him of colder days. He’s grateful his gloves no longer have holes. 
He walks along the sidewalk, carried by the crowd’s flow without much thought.  
There’s not much that he wishes for anymore, not much he can wish for when he’s got everything. He lives in a high rise, works at the top music production company. Sometimes it’s a bit hard being the most sought-after producer in Seoul. Life has been good; he can’t complain. That mixtape opened doors he thought he’d be knocking on forever, and he’s worked hard to keep them open. 
Min Yoongi doesn’t need much of anything else. 
But on days like this, when the wind is just a little chilly and the sky’s opened up and crying, he misses you. 
Sometimes he looks back on that day and feel guilt. He knows it was just as hard for you as it was for him, the pain in your eyes that you smiled through. 
For a while, he’d call you every night and update you, made sure that you were doing well. For a while, he’d keep up with you and made sure that you’re doing well. For a while, he’d call you every now and then, see if you’re doing well.  
For a while, it had been a while and life, and then five years slinked on by.  
Yoongi sighs, and there’s guilt in it. He got busy, as one gets being a producer in Seoul with a shit ton of expectations. He’s changed phones over the years, lost your contact, and he got busy. 
Of course, he’s dated — mostly blind dates his friends set him up on — and he’s tried his best to push forward. There’s no point living in the past, he’s sure you’ve moved on and on by now. Sometimes he’s fine, and sometimes he’s back on that train station platform, wishing he’d begged you to come with him. 
It would’ve been the selfish thing. It wouldn’t have been fair to you had he done that. When he got to Seoul, he’d buried himself so deep into his work he barely found himself. He would’ve dragged you out here, made you give up everything just to sit on the side-lines.  
He misses you sometimes, anyways. He’s forgotten the sound of your laugh, but he still remembers the way your nose scrunches when you do. He’s forgotten the scent of your favourite perfume, but he remembers the way you lit up when he saved up and bought you a bottle forever ago. 
Min Yoongi wonders if you remember him at all. 
As Yoongi turns the corner, his umbrella catches a gust of wind and flips inside out. He fights with it for a moment before giving up, letting the rain soak his hair and the front of his jacket and jeans. He can’t help but laugh at the irony, standing there drenched, remembering the countless times he reminded you to carry an umbrella. 
In the distance, he spots a small café and decides to seek shelter. The bell above the door jingles as he enters, and the warm, cozy atmosphere wraps around him like a comforting hug. He shakes off his umbrella – finally pulling it back down – and steps up to the counter, ordering a hot coffee to chase away the chill. 
As he waits, his eyes wander around the café, taking in the rustic décor and the soft hum of conversation. A bulletin board on the wall catches his attention, filled with flyers and photos. His gaze lands on a familiar face, and his heart skips a beat. 
It’s you. Your photo, smiling brightly, pinned among various advertisements and announcements. You’re standing next to a large canvas, looking proud. He steps closer, reading the caption beneath your picture: “Local Artist Exhibition - Featuring Works by ________.” 
Yoongi’s mind races as he takes in the information. You’re here in Seoul, and you’ve been showcasing your art. A mix of emotions floods through him—relief, excitement, and a twinge of nervousness. He jots down the address of the gallery from the flyer without much thought and leaves without his coffee. 
As Yoongi steps out into the rain, a million thoughts swirl through his mind, each one more turbulent than the last. He wonders why you never sought him out. Seoul is vast, but you’d known he was here, making waves in the music scene. Did you ever think about him? Did you ever miss him? 
The realization hits him hard: he never knew you were doing art before he left. In all your conversations, all your late-night talks and shared dreams, you never mentioned a passion for painting. He feels a pang of guilt. Had he been so wrapped up in his own ambitions that he failed to notice yours? The thought stings, and he can't shake the feeling that he should have been there for your journey, supporting you the way you always supported him. 
The gallery isn’t far, and soon he’s standing in front of it, his heart pounding in his chest. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, the sound of soft music and hushed voices greeting him. There’s quite a bit of people mingling about in quiet discussion, taking photos of the art mounted on the walls under ambient lighting. 
Inside the gallery, he feels out of place. The walls, adorned with your art, are a testament to a part of your life he knows nothing about. Each piece is beautiful, but they also serve as a painful reminder of how much he’s missed. He wonders how many late nights you spent creating these, how many times you might have needed someone to share your successes and frustrations with. 
Yoongi wanders through the gallery, the sound of soft music and hushed voices creating a backdrop to his thoughts. The rain outside has left him feeling introspective, and as he takes in the various pieces of art, he feels a strange mix of pride and sadness seeing how far you’ve come. 
Each painting tells a story, each one a glimpse into your life over the past five years, a life he wasn’t a part of. 
His gaze is drawn to a large canvas on the far wall. The colours are bold and dramatic, the brushstrokes chaotic and full of emotion. As he steps closer, he realizes with a jolt that the scene depicted is achingly familiar: a train station, snow swirling in the air, and two figures standing close together, wrapped in scarves and winter coats. 
His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the details. The style is unmistakably expressionist, the exaggerated forms and vibrant colours capturing the raw emotion of that day. The figures are abstract, but he knows them instantly: one is you, and the other is him. 
He remembers the way you tucked his scarf into his sweater, the tears that made tracks down your cheeks, and the way you both tried to memorize each other in those final moments. The painting captures all of it, the pain and the love, the sorrow and the hope. 
Yoongi feels a lump in his throat as he stares at the piece. It’s a testament to your skill as an artist. He wonders how long you carried the weight of that moment, how many times you revisited it in your mind to create this masterpiece. He’s overwhelmed by a wave of emotions: regret, longing, and a deep, unspoken connection. 
The title of the painting, written on a small plaque beside it, reads “Departure.” It’s fitting, he thinks, for the moment it captures, but also for the way it marks the beginning of your separate journeys. 
As he stands there, lost in thought, he hears your voice nearby, and for a moment, he simply stands there. Your words meld together and he isn’t hearing much of what you’re saying, just the sound.  His heart pounds against his ribs as your laugh — it sparks a memory and adds sound to the ones that were muted — bounces off the walls and around in his head.  
He turns and sees you, in a corner, your back to him talking to a taller man, discussing a point of space where you’re standing. The sight of you, so vibrant and alive, sends a mixture of relief and nervousness fluttering around in Yoongi’s tummy.   
Gathering his courage, he takes a step forward, then another, until he’s standing just a few feet away. You turn and startle, staring at him like he’s a ghost. There’s a brief moment of surprise — he gets it — and then you blink. 
“Yoongi,” you breathe, and turning to the man next to you, you smile gently. “Taehyung...Can you give us a moment?”  
The guy looks between you both for a second with a raised brow before he’s gone, walking off to some other part of the gallery. Yoongi’s mind is too occupied taking in the sight of you to wonder what that man’s presence may mean. 
“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft and filled with all the words he’s wanted to say for years. Despite this, he doesn’t actually know what to say, he didn’t actually think this far ahead. He glances back at the painting of the train station platform, then back at you. “I saw your painting.” 
You follow his gaze and nod, your smile tinged with a hint of sadness. “It was a significant moment for me. For both of us, I think.” 
It’s a lot awkward, with him just standing there, not sure what to do with himself. You look the same, though now your hair is styled professionally and not the frizzy, wind swept mess it was when he last saw you.  
There’s so much he wants to say but he feel like he doesn’t have enough words, or the right ones, so he takes it easy. “I saw a flyer...in a café. Um... It’s amazing...your work.”  
“Thank you,” you say, your eyes reflecting a mixture of pride, nostalgia and a certain sadness. “I didn’t know you’d be here. It’s... good to see you.” 
The conversation goes slowly, awkwardly. There are long pauses and nervous laughter, each of you trying to bridge the gap of five years with small talk about your art and his music. 
“You’ve done well,” he says, gesturing to the paintings around you both. “I didn’t even know you were into art.” 
You smile, the same just barely there sad smile from earlier. “It was something I started after you left. It helped me cope.” 
“Oh...” His heart aches at the thought of you turning to art just to fill the void he left behind. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. 
You shake your head and shrug. “We both had our paths to follow. It’s just... life.” 
He nods, but the guilt lingers. Life had taken you both in different directions, but he can’t help but wonder what might have been different if he had stayed, or if he had at least tried to stay in touch better. 
Min Yoongi is an idiot and he’s always told himself so. He’s an idiot and he sucks at this sort of thing. 
As the gallery starts to empty out, Yoongi looks at you, the rain pattering gently against the windows. There’s a part of him that wants to apologize, to make up for all the lost time, but he knows it’s not that simple. 
“Do you have time for a coffee?” he asks, hope and uncertainty mingling in his eyes. 
Your smile is a little hesitant, but you nod, “Sure.” 
You excuse yourself to grab your jacket and an umbrella — you remembered, he smiles privately —, and then you talk to the man from earlier for a minute before Yoongi follows you out of the gallery and onto the wet street.  
The walk is quiet, filled with the awkwardness of five years’ worth of missed everything’s, and Yoongi holds tight to the handle of his umbrella. There’s a confidence to your step as you weave your way through the crowd, head straight forward and not looking down at your feet like he remembers. 
You’re not the girl he left on that platform five years ago just as he’s not the guy that left you there.  
You walk back to the cafe he’d come from, and he realises that you’re probably a regular here. The barista behind the counter greets you with a smile and asks if you’re having your usual. You order a coffee and Yoongi asks the girl behind the counter to reheat the one he bought earlier, and the barista’s eyes dart between you both. 
You lead him to a cozy corner table after the order was called, and as you settle in, the conversation starts up slowly again. 
“How long have you been in Seoul?” Yoongi asks first, his voice a little hesitant, not sure if he’s allowed to ask.  
“Almost three years now,” you reply, looking down at your coffee cup, the tiniest furrow between your brows. “It took a while, but I got settled.” 
Yoongi takes a moment to observe you, trying to reconcile the person in front of him with the memories he’s held onto for the past five years. You don’t look much different, your hair’s in an up-do, your cheeks are a little fuller, but that’s as much as he notices.  
The silence that rings between you both is louder than the other customers in the cafe. Yoongi can only imagine what this scene looks like to others; two people who are barely looking at each other, like awkward strangers forced to share a space.  
His coffee is still hot, and it burns his tongue when he sips at it, but at least it’s given him a distraction. He steals glances at you, watching the way your eyes comb the cafe and avoid his gaze.  
Unfortunately, Yoongi is naught but a man, and there’s a nagging sound at the back of his brain. It grows louder until he fidgets, the nerves of his free hand feel like they’re dancing and he takes a breath. He looks down at his coffee cup, glances at you and then back to the cup. Then, he asks a question that made him want to crawl out of his skin.  
“So...that guy back at your gallery seemed nice...”  
He knows it’s been five years, and a lot can change in that time.  As toxic as it may sound, the thought of you moving on with someone else stirs a mix of emotions in him. 
He knows he has no right to be upset if you’ve found happiness with someone else. It’s not his business anymore, not after all this time.   
Still, the fear is there. He doesn’t want to admit how much it hurts to think of you with someone else. He can’t deny the pang of jealousy at the thought, but he tries his best to ignore it. He has no claim over you. You deserve to be happy, and if you’ve found that with someone, then he’s happy.  
He sighs inwardly, pushing the thoughts aside. He wants to focus on the present, on the fact that you’re sitting in front of him right now. Whatever happens, he’s happy to be here, he hopes he can be a part of your life again of you let him, even if it’s only as a friend. He doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever it turns out to be. 
You stare at him for a moment and Yoongi can’t tell what you’re thinking, “He is...he’s got an eye for art.”  
Yoongi nods slowly, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup. He hums softly, and now it’s his turn to pretend you’re not looking; he finds interest in the light fixtures above.   
His next question sits on his tongue trying to pry past his teeth. He feels like a kid trying to find the right moment to ask his parents if he could go play outside. There’s a nervous churning in his tummy that isn’t at all pleasant. How does one ask their ex of five years if they’re seeing someone?  
Yoongi imagines they’d just ask, out of curiosity, and get it out of the way. He could play it well. Maybe lean back into his seat and appear more casual before he says the stupid words. Maybe he could stop staring at the lights like a damn moth, and act like a being with a fully developed frontal lobe.  
“Are you two...close? Or...you know...” He waves a hand and then lays it on the table. The sound of his ring knocking against it is kind of jarring, but it gives Yoongi an opportunity to look away again. 
You make a quiet sound, and Yoongi finally meets your gaze. There’s amusement in your eyes, it’s obvious you’ve figured him out already — he wasn’t exactly being subtle. Which is unfortunate, because now Yoongi could feel embarrassment tapping on his shoulder. 
You say nothing of it, even though he knows you want to. He could feel it.  
“As close as business partners can be, I suppose.” You say, and Yoongi can see the beginning of a smile as you lift your coffee to hide it.  
“Right...Sorry.” Yoongi says sheepishly, though, a weight lifts off his chest. As he looks at you, he notices something that makes his heart skip a beat.  
You’re still wearing the necklace he got you all those years ago, the one he won for you at the fair. The twine that the little pendant hangs on looks worn, fraying a bit at some points, but you’re wearing it.  
You kept it. 
He clears his throat, the words he’s been holding back spilling out. “I’m sorry I lost touch. I got so busy, and then it felt like too much time had passed to reconnect. I lost your contact, and… I didn’t know how to find you again.” 
You nod, your fingers brushing over the necklace like you sensed his gaze on it. “It’s okay. Life happened, for both of us.” 
“But why didn’t you seek me out when you got to Seoul?” Yoongi asks, his voice soft, devoid of accusation; genuinely curious. 
“I thought it would be for the best,” you say, equally as soft, staring into your coffee as though it would give you the words you’re looking for. “So much time had passed, and I didn’t want to disrupt your life. You were doing well.”  
You look so sad when you say it that it almost breaks Yoongi’s heart.  
“You know I wouldn’t have...” He wouldn’t have turned you away.  
“I know, I just...” You sigh, your eyes dart somewhere to his left, and then back at him, “...I really missed you.”  
Yoongi wants to reach out and take your hand so he does. Your fingers are warm from the coffee, squeezing his own, and tears beads at your waterline.  
“I missed you too.” His gaze is soft and he knows it, but he doesn’t care because its you. You’re still you and he’s still him, and he misses you and the girl he left on that platform.  
You’re both still made of the same star. It’s imploded but still glowing, and your necklace pendant catches the above head light.  
His finger brushes over your knuckles, he stares at them, the shape and colour and all the little things about them that makes them a part of you. All that with his heart in his throat because he wants to ask something.  
“Do you think…” His voice is barely a whisper, as if he’s afraid the wrong volume might shatter whatever delicate thread holds this moment together. “Do you think there’s a chance… that we could try again?” 
You stare at him, your eyes wide, and he feels the subtle pressure of your fingers in his. He knows it’s a lot to ask,  but the longing, the sense that maybe something beautiful can still be salvaged from the pieces, presses him to keep going. 
Hope catches on the glint of your necklace pendant, and he clings to it. 
“I don’t expect anything to happen right away. I just… I want to be in your life again, even if we start slow. No pressure, just… what feels right.” 
You’re quiet for a moment, and then a soft smile curves your lips, almost as if you’ve been waiting for him to say something like this.  
“We could try,” you murmur, the words tentative but filled with the same cautious hope Yoongi feels. 
And from there, the pace is unhurried. You both ease into each other’s lives like rivers that find their way back to the same stream.  
Some days Yoongi feels like he’s been whacked on the head with a giant stick. Anyone could tell by looking at him, when he’s got that stupid look on his face. Like he’s seen a goddess and she spared him a glance. He feels like he’s dreaming, and the last five years without you seem to blur.  
He starts small, a text here and there; good morning and good night. Even if he’s busy he’d keep up with you, except when his work demands his focus. There are some days when you’d disappear, and Yoongi understands when you explain you’ve been in your studio for hours.  
Your gallery isn’t far from his work, and as much as he could he’d go see you. He finds himself drawn to small gestures—bringing you lunch or a cup of coffee, or sometimes a sweet he thinks you might like. Each time he steps into the gallery with something for you, he feels a warmth settle in his chest. 
It’s an excuse, he knows, to see you smile, to watch you light up at the thoughtfulness of it. And each time you look at him with that gentle, appreciative gaze, he feels his hope grow a little stronger. 
You’d tell him all about your creative process, how you’d spin and weave what’s in your head onto a canvas. He’d listen attentively because he’s interested and he owes it to you. All those nights spent burning the midnight oil, steeping in his frustrations; you were there. You’d listen to him rant and cry when things weren’t working out the way he wanted. 
He owed you much more than that.  
He feels like he has to learn you all over again, which, in a sense, he does. Even if the bases of you are the same, there’s new facets. Little shards that fit into the mirror that reflects you, some pieces are a little dusty and worn with time and others are new and shiny. Yoongi has to take his time cleaning the old ones to see them again, and get used to the new ones that twinkle his eyes.  
He invites you to his place for dinner, something simple and easy, and the conversation flows a lot better than it had a month before.  
There’s no awkward sentences that cut off somewhere in the middle. Yoongi knows what to do with his hands and he has a better time looking you in the eye now. He feels a lot like he did back then, like a school boy taking his crush to meet his parents. His hands are a little sweaty, but the food is good and your eyes sparkle like they did back then, too.  
You seem so sure, like you’re not worried one bit. Like you knew you’d meet him again and you’d be here in this moment; sipping on white wine – something new he’s learned – and chucking over stories set in the past.  
The day he let a pet name slip was the day Yoongi wished a chasm would open up and swallow him. He had his excuse ready; the clock’s pushing one in the morning; he’s tired. The truth? It’s so easy to slip back into old ways, like nothing changed at all.  
Like a smouldering fire in a hearth. It’s not quite out yet, and if you throw some sticks in there, they’ll catch.  
After a while, on some sunny evening, Yoongi invited you to his studio. 
“This is where I spend most of my time.” And he means that, letting you into his studio. There’s a blanket tossed haphazardly on the black couch that lines the wall near the door.  
There’s day old take away coffee cups that never made it to the bin, cluttered in a designated spot. The bin he meant to empty is overflowing with scraps of paper and crushed takeout containers. That’s as far as the clutter goes. Though, Yoongi’s embarrassed now – he prides himself on keeping tidy. He wasn’t thinking when he asked you over, didn’t expect you to agree either.  
So now he’s clearing up his desk and tying a knot on the waste bag. You make yourself comfortable on his couch like you’ve been there before, throwing the blanket over your lap as your eyes dart about to take everything in.  
You’re impressed, he could tell by the gleam in your eyes and your little down turned smile. He’s come a long way from his old computer and MIDI.  
“Its nice, cosy. Beats camping out in your bedroom.” You smile and Yoongi chuckles, nodding.  
“Damn right.” He agrees, but he wouldn’t trade in those days for anything. Truthfully, he’s been here for three days, only going home to shower. Inspiration on an all time high and he’s just been riding the wave, you’ve been his muse for the past month. It isn’t the first time, at moments over the years gone you’d float into his mind like a mirage, and he’d get stuck on you.  
He’s grateful for the break, though, there’s nothing much to do and he doesn’t want to bore you with rambling about what he’s working on. So he orders something, and lets a movie play on his laptop.  
The clock ticks softly in the corner, its sound nearly drowned out by the hum of the desk lamp — he should really get that replaced. You’re still curled up on his couch despite the hour, the blanket pooled around your legs, your eyes scanning a painting on the wall he doesn’t remember hanging. 
“It’s peaceful here,” you say, your voice quiet but steady, like you’re speaking directly to the heart of the room—and to him. 
Yoongi glances up from the cluttered desk he’d been half-heartedly straightening; resorting his things because he can’t sit still. He watches the way you seem to belong in his space, your presence settling into the corners he never realized were empty. The faintest smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. 
“You think so?” he asks, moving to lean against the edge of the desk. He crosses his arms, the soft light from the lamp catching on the fine lines of his face. “I always thought it was too chaotic.” 
You turn your head, your gaze locking onto his. “Chaos can be beautiful. It just takes the right eyes to see it.” 
The words settle between you, their weight both gentle and profound. Yoongi feels something inside him shift—a small piece of armour finally cracking and falling away. 
He takes a step toward you, his hands slipping into his pockets, his expression tentative. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” 
You sit up a little straighter, tilting your head. “What is it?” 
“Would you…” He hesitates, his fingers brushing against the edge of a USB drive in his pocket—the same drive that holds the tracks he’s been working on for weeks. “Would you let me write something for you? About you?” 
Your surprise shows in the slight widening of your eyes, followed quickly by a soft, warm smile. “You already do that, don’t you?” 
Yoongi chuckles under his breath, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. “Maybe,” he admits, with a small smile that meant more than he could say. “But this time, I want you to know it’s for you. No hiding it in metaphors or beats no one else understands. Just…you.” 
You rise from the couch, the blanket slipping to the side as you close the small distance between you. Standing so close, Yoongi count all the things that make you you.  
“Okay,” you say softly, your fingers brushing against his. “But only if you let me paint something for you, too.” 
Yoongi takes your hand because he wants to, and his fingers make home in the spaces between yours. It feels like déjà vu and an epiphany all at once: five years ago you were this close and he was saying goodbye. His gloves had holes. Today...he’s saying hello again, and it feels like no time had gone by. And he kisses you now because he didn’t kiss you then, and you sigh into it like you’ve been waiting a lifetime.  
Some people say that soulmates are made of the same star, apart of each other, one in the same. Stars don’t live forever, Yoongi found, but they do burn forever.  
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Tagging: @hoseoksluna @xpeachesncream @amon-rei @allhobbitstoisengard @euphoricfilter @madbutgloriouspond
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tinylilacbun · 16 hours ago
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I feel like it would be so funny qhen the pogues find out jj already got a new job, and then find out is a job babysitting for kooks. I feel like everyone in the room would be speechless at first and pope would be like "babysit to what, a dog?" "no?? she's three. very cute by the way-and wait, is that even a thing?" "oh, poor kid🤦🏿‍♂️" and altought they all suport each other, they're all kiiind of insecure reguarding jj's new "awesome" plan, because, well, they don't think jj is actually the most patient and responsible to be around kids. I mean, how did he even got this job? How could someone look at jj and think "wow, he's so good with babies"
but then they would all change their minds on the first time jj brings reader to hang out with them, and they witness JJ turn into a role different version of himself - helping reader do basic things like braiding her hair or eat her veggies, and even nap with her laying on his chest in the couch while the pogues are all staring in... awe and confusion? lmao I would be too
Wait, can I request something with this concept?
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I can so imagine them being like "Nah, you gotta be joking." And then JJ pulls out his phone showing all the silly photos he has of you both together, being all smug about it too and the pogues are completely baffled looking at him like: 😦
They're asking him various questions, like how's the pay? How the hell he managed to get a babysitter job, knowing this boy can't even take care of himself for all we know. How kooks trust JJ freaking maybank with their kid??
The pogues are concerned that their friend is being threatened to say that your parents are actually really nice and pay him well, so well that he doesn't want to bring it up.
Obviously they want proof of that and see it for themselves, so JJ asks your parents if he could take his friends with him next time he babysits before anything else and of course your parents said yes, why wouldn't they? They trust him.
And so the pogues finally meet the reason JJ has been rather busy lately as you come running from your room the second you hear his voice, crashing into his awaiting arms.
"Jayj! Missed you so much." You giggle as JJ stands up with you clinging to him, your legs dangling in the air.
"I was here two days ago." He reminds you with a chuckle and you pout.
"Still missed you!"
Then you notice his friends standing behind him, a smile growing on each of their faces. JJ sets you back down and you go to hide behind his legs, suddenly shy from all the new people as you whisper out a small 'hi'.
Kie and Sarah coo at how adorable you are, just wanting to pinch your cheeks. John B, Pope, and Cleo just give you a small wave, which you of course return.
"You gotta give her some time to warm up, and don't touch her until she says it's okay." JJ warns them, his hand ruffling your hair.
Some time later the others are actually impressed by how attentive JJ is with you, always answering when you ask something no matter how silly it is, playing with you what you want, even getting you to eat the nasty veggies.
Now you all are sprawled on the big sofa in the living room, your favorite movie playing on the tv but you're already napping on JJ's chest as he draws shapes on your back.
"I have to be honest, I really thought you were kidding us with this whole thing but damn JJ you really know what you're doing." John says, watching how gentle the blonde is with you, he's never seen his best friend being this soft with anyone, much less a kook.
JJ shushes him, pressing a finger to his lips. "Princess is getting her beauty sleep, don't you dare disrupt that, bro."
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Taglist
For everything:
@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse
@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou @sunf1ower16 @sweetstars-posts @rafecameronsloverrrrr
For JJ:
@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva
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haytham-awad · 11 hours ago
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Have you ever felt hunger pangs? Have you seen anyone suffering from hunger? We are suffering from famine in Gaza and are doing everything we can to relieve people of the pain of hunger? I hope you have not experienced this difficult atmosphere in which we live. This is our daily reality. Every day, without exaggeration
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Last week I saw a child in a garbage dump saying he collects inedible food 😲 Why is this child not like any other child who eats clean and healthy food 😞, when I saw him I took him and asked him where is your father and your family, he told me my whole family was hit by a missile from a plane in front of my eyes and they all died 😢😭 Today I am collecting food from the garbage dump just to satisfy my hunger and I hope to go to my family 😭 I took this child and fed him and gave him drink and the team and I brought him a tent because he was sleeping in the street in the bitter cold 🥶🥶 Now the child thanks everyone who helped him and we visit him every now and then
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I don't think this famine will stop here. Even at this moment, more people are still dying from hunger, nearly 10,000 people And now there are still people dying of hunger to be added to the list of the dead
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I will photograph and document as much as possible people's fatigue in bringing food and their joy when I distribute food to them. Please, I beg of you, save what's left of us. Don't just pass this post, share it and if you can donate to save a large number of children and adults. ♥ Donate Thank you very much for saving a family, a child and an entire people from death 🌹♥️♥️.
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@serial-unaliver @2spirit-0spoons @schooloutfitideas @vampiraknight @tamamita @omegomagnit @beetledrink @anne-jo-madeline @beserkerjewel @approvers @apagou @ira @gaza-evacuation-funds @sabertoothwalrus @skygenders @spongebobssquarepants @official @origamihoshi @rickydillon @paper-mario-wiki @postanagramgenerator @i-am-a-fish @extremelybeautiful @nabulsi @punk-n-junk @whatcoloristhatcat @opencuisine @nyancrimew @90-ghost @punkitt-is-here @killy @a-shade-of-blue
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jubburb · 10 hours ago
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✮⋆˙Toge Inumaki
Safe words Toge uses (All not used)
NOT PROOFREAD, JUST ONE SEXUAL JOKE, EVERYTHING IS ALL FLUFF. I think.
----Salmon (shake), fish flakes (okaka), kelp (konbu), mustard leaf (takana), Salmon roe (Sujiko), caviar (ikura), spicy cod roe (Mentaiko), tuna (tsuna), tuna mayo (tsuna mayo)
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
It would've been better if someone as lively as you weren't in Toge's life. It's been so hard on him ever since you went on that 3 week mission, leaving him all alone, with no one to talk to.
Of course that's an exaggeration. Yuuta and Panda were there talking to him, but it's not the same when the love of his life talks to him.
It's quite the predicament, really. He thinks that you don't know about his crush on you, but you know that he has a crush on you and he doesn't know that you know. (Good lord-) Toge didn't really hide it well, making it obvious with how much more eye contact he made with you. Who wouldn't pick up on the hints?
As the reasonable person you are, you decided to wait. If he doesn't say anything, you won't say anything about it either. Yuji says otherwise, he wants you to blast Toge's love life on speaker. He's just a little excited, that's all.
Though it also helps you, since you're not too sure how you can reciprocate the feeling back, when you haven't done that much romance in your life yet. It's an odd feeling, you being the target of someone's love, and not it being the other way around. It's hard to think about it when you yourself haven't experienced romantic love. (But it's not hard to know when someone likes you, given they act all weird around the said person)
---
"Ikura." He grumbled, expressing his sadness, kicking a pebble while walking.
It's been 2 and a half weeks, your mission coming to an end in a few days. Toge doesn't know what to do for the rest of those few days, he doesn't even know how he survived the past 2 weeks.
He walked back to his respective room, mind blank as he threw himself onto his bed. Toge didn't have that many missions this morning, but he did feel a little drowsy.
He tried to fight off the sleepiness, he doesn't know why, but he did so.
Toge- slept. He failed the battle against his eyes, sleep weighing down on his eyelids. Although, Toge found it weird when it felt like the best nap he had gotten when he woke up. His hair was oddly well brushed too.
At first, his vision was a little blurry, but as he rubbed it, he saw a silhouette of a face, looking at him.
He jolted up, lowering his scarf as he was ready to use his curse technique, but then he saw your face. Toge lit up to the sight of you, immediately hugging you.
"Toge! Surprised to see me? I got back a little early from the mission!"
Toge nodded and rubbed your back, “Konbu” he whispered, feeling your shoulder blades. He's an odd guy, really. He might've done that to try and tickle you.
"Hello to you too. I know you definitely missed me. I actually thought my mission would end a week early but the curse kept on duplicating and it was..tiring. Anyway, you doing good?”
“Shake,” he nodded from your shoulder. Toge hugged you more tightly, but what can you do? You were away for so long, it's understandable for him to get touchy feely.
"I got us some snacks from my mission, you wanna eat it?" You patted his back, trying to pull away from him. Toge kept his hands wrapped around you, only to release the hug and type out something.
“U owe me. You left me here for too long :(“
You patted his shoulder, smiling at his response, “Of course, what do you want?”
Toge pondered for a second, before immediately typing on his phone.
“Gibe me s kuss”
“Huh?” You squinted, looking at his phone.
Toge pulled his phone back and corrected his mistakes.
“Give me a kiss”
You stopped, looking him in the eyes. He’s become bolder, hasn’t he? First it was hugs, then cuddles, now kisses. At this point, who wouldn’t think that you guys aren’t dating?
"Who's the submissive one now?" You snickered, shaking him from his shoulder. Toge rolled his eyes, typing again as he grunts from your shakes.
"You can dominate me..in bed ;)"
He smiled, you can see it even if his scarf was up.
"Please, I do not want to see you type that out again. You're so cringe Toge."
The both of you were silent, then a sudden burst of laughter cut the silence. It was fun. The comfort both of you got from each other was evident. You shook Toge as the giggles and snorts continued, but Toge was somewhat serious about the previous text before that.
He loved the way you laugh. It was a wonderful sound to him. He always appreciates that he could get a good laugh out of you.
When it started getting silent, he grabbed your hand, still smiling widely.
"Tuna tuna."
"Yeah?" You asked also smiling, reciprocating the gesture. Toge hesitantly intertwined his fingers with yours, lifting up his scarf and looking away.
You giggled a little, getting closer to his face. You noticed his ears turning into a soft pink. "He's so adorable."
Toge dragged his eyes to look at you, trying to maintain eye contact. He made a little finger heart to you, still being a little shy.
"I love you too Toge," you bumped foreheads with him gently, leaning in to his cheek to give a kiss.
Toge felt it. It was warm. He wished it was planted on his lips instead, but he could only hope for more.
"Shake," he purses, but you couldn't see it, his scarf was in the way. He hadn't noticed that you told him a genuine I love you yet, so you repeated it.
"Toge, I love you. Would you do me an honor of being my boyfriend?"
His eyes widened, face snapped to look at you more clearly. Toge hugged you again, this time pushing you into the bed and wrapping his legs around you. He didn't stop hugging you, still surprised from the sudden confession. But he should've expected it.
You laid there for a while, Toge hugging you from beside. Who would've known? He then pulled out his phone in the hug, typing them deleting, as if he were unsure of what to say. He finally managed to make a sentence.
"Can you do the thing again where you focused your cursed energy in your ears to deflect commands from me? Just this once please?"
He showed you the typed out sentence, you wondered why he had to hesitate a little.
"Sure, give me a moment.."
As cursed energy flowed to your ear, you were ready.
Toge took a deep breath, looking at you in the eyes once again and saying,
"I love you"
Your breath hitched, you never expected it to be this emotional. Toge is never this serious before. And he just showed how much he liked you.
You were about to cry, but you pulled into his hug. Finding more comfort and warmth in his arms.
"I always loved your hugs Toge. I hope we can continue hugging for as long as we are able to."
Toge Inumaki nodded, shifting his position to get a better cuddle from you as he big spooned you.
____
Wasn't it nice to know your crush had also liked you too?
____
A convo with the other creator of this account
"You can dominate me in bed💀" 💀💀💀 - signed by c
Its so sigma skibidi toilet rizz🤧 EAWWW not doing that again👹
-Jღ
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hymnserendipity · 13 hours ago
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Against the Kamo clan, Noritoshi angst, pt. 1
Angst, afab reader
The Kamo clan decided to marry off their firstborn Noritoshi, since he has now turned 22 and finished sorcerer school. Noritoshi knew that his clan would most likely try to set him up with Satoru Gojo's younger sister, (Y/N) Gojo, you. You weren't too bad about it, actually, you've always had a soft spot for him even though he was quite a strict guy, so you agreed to that meeting between families. Satoru, your brother, didn't want to marry you off, and he knew that it would be more of a game for you because he trained you and you are very very strong and like him you like to show it against the elders. Now you are sitting in the garden of the Kamo family house, yawning while eating an onigiri, Noritoshi, who has known you since the institute, sits next to you. "I didn't think they would propose you for this thing."
"Well I am, considering...you know, that I'm a special grade sorcerer"
"Yes, I am very much aware of that." He said, resting his chin on his hand over the knee, watching your every move intently for a moment. "I do wonder where you get your energy from, considering your diet consists of mostly junk food and your lack of sleep at night."
"Well i'm stronger than the elders of my clan, and yours. So i could spank them if i want to. But i don't actually plan to get married, i just want to chill and read."
"I have no doubt that you could defeat the elders without even breaking a sweat." Noritoshi commented, taking a sip from his tea with another glance in your direction. "However, you being stronger than them or not won't allow you to bypass this arranged marriage either."
"Why?"
He sighed, looking down at the table before speaking.
"I've just come to terms with the fact that I have no control over my own life, either. My body, my education, my skills, my future - it's all already been decided for me. I'm the eldest male of the Kamo family, a direct descendant, so it's my responsibility to carry on our clan bloodline no matter what."
He looked back up at you.
"And you're in the same boat as me, aren't you?"
"Is It okay for you? Don't you want to live regard your choices?" Noritoshi chuckled bitterly.
"I never had any choices to begin with. My life's been decided for me the moment I was born. My education, my occupation - everything. I don't get to make choices of my own."
"Mine too, but when I chopped my elders right arm I showed them they can't control me." He raised an eyebrow at that, looking genuinely impressed.
"You cut your elder's arm off? Impressive... I bet your family didn't like that very much, however."
"Eheh not at all, but what can they do? Nothing. I came here only because I wanted to go some library shopping actually." Noritoshi almost smirked faintly when you said that, watching you for another moment before taking another sip from his tea.
"I almost forgot how much of a bookworm you are."
"Want me to fight your elders?? I can beat them so they will never force you into things." He chuckled, shaking his head.
"That won't be necessary. I know for a fact that I'm the only one they think is worthy enough carrying on our bloodline, and they've been preparing me for this since I was a child."
"And I've finally accepted it, so no matter how much I hate the fact I have no say in my own life, there's nothing I can do about it anymore."
"The bloodline is a shit to me." He didn't even look offended by your statement, only nodding in agreement.
"I can understand why. For a long time, I thought the same. But at some point I was forced to accept it. The Kamo Clan is one of the three most important clans of Jujutsu, along with the Gojo and Zenin clans... All of us know the weight that carries, whether we like it or not."
"But why? You seems so calm, why don't you fight for your freedom?"
"What for?" He asked, crossing his arms on the table. He seemed oddly nonchalant. "How does me having any freedom change any of it? I'm still the eldest son of the Kamo family. I'm still destined to get married and have children with whoever my elders decide to be my wife. Me having a bit more freedom wouldn't change a thing about any of it."
"I repeat, i could knock your elders ass." He actually chuckled at that, almost laughing before it turned back into a smirk.
"You're really dedicated to fighting everything and everyone, aren't you?"
"Yep, i don't like being told what to do." Noritoshi let out a small huff in amusement - the biggest expression of entertainment you've seen from him so far.
"I have no doubt you don't... You have never been a fan of any sort of authority, after all. I'm amazed no one has succeeded in put you back in your place yet."
"That's why i don't want to get married. I don't want a man to tell me what to do and boss me around like the clan expect." He chuckled once again, watching how annoyed you looked.
"Answer honestly, do you want to marry me as you elders force you? And have Kids to keep the Bloodline?" You ask. His neutral facial expression shifted to something of a grimace in an almost instant. Clearly, the mere thought of having children already annoyed him. He didn't say anything for a moment before answering, voice low and stoic as usual.
"... No. I don't want any of that. I've never wanted it, in the first place."
"Then i'll fight for ya." He raised an eyebrow at that, genuinely surprised by this proposal of yours, but not in the negative, way. In a much calmer voice than before he responded.
"You'd go and fight the elders of my family just so I wouldn't get married? You'd do that for me?"
"You have to choose someone you love" For a brief moment, Noritoshi's stoic expression and composure faltered, a look of surprise and genuine shock appearing on his face. But, he was quick to recover, hiding his emotions once again with nonchalance and stoicism.
"What about you?" He asked, almost abruptly. "How'd you feel if one day you were forced to marry a man you've never loved and had children with him?"
"I Will never, cause i'm the strongest after my brother and nobody can force me."
"Ah, there you go with the 'strongest' thing again. You only care about your strength and your 'freedom', don't you?"
He said, and although it was supposed to be some form of playful insult, there was a hint of envy in his voice. Another moment of silence passed before he spoke up again.
"You still haven't answered my question, you know."
"I would like to marry someone, one day, and have tons of babies." A smirk was back on his lips when you said that, amusement clear in his eyes as he silently observed your excited-sounding response.
"Of course you would." He hummed. "Do you already have someone in mind? Who's the lucky man?"
"Nah nobody can meet my expentations"
"Such high standards, huh?"
This time, he chuckled, tilting his head to the side curiously. For someone as stoic and emotionless as him, he seemed strangely interested in your love life all of a sudden. Noritoshi sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, and continued watching you in silence for a moment as he thought over what you said before speaking up again.
"You need someone who can match your attitude. Someone who wouldn't give up and wouldn't let you have your way all the time. Someone who would call you out on your bullshit if he felt like it."
"Exactly." You say, before you saw the elders approach and felt Noritoshi shoulders tense in annoyance by you senses. He let out an annoyed sigh as the elders spoke to the both of you.
"There they go again..." He muttered in a low voice.
"Yo oldie!!" Both Noritoshi and the Elders turned their heads to look at you, with the elders giving you a disapproving look. One of them spoke up, addressing you and looking at you with a cold gaze.
Yumo: "Watch your tone. You're talking to very important clan members."
"So?"
Yumk: "So show some respect. We're not some common people, you can't act like that towards us." He said, his tone as cold and harsh as his gaze. He obviously wasn't used to people speaking to him that way. Noritoshi still remained quiet, looking between you and the elders with his typical indifference.
"He's not going to listen tò your shit anymore." The elders looked between themselves, completely surprised and shocked by your bluntness. They looked at Noritoshi, expecting a response from him, but all they received was an indifferent silence and cold stare, which only made them more annoyed and surprised.
One of elders decided to speak up, an annoyed look in their eyes as they did.
Kiyu: "And what do you mean by that?"
"He will going to marry someone he love, not someone you choose." The elders were silent once again, looking between themselves as they tried to understand the situation. Noritoshi was still looking completely unbothered, keeping his stoic composure as he listened to the argument.
Yumo: "Watch your tone. You don't know what you're speaking about, and it's none of your business anyway." He said, his voice getting slightly more irritated.
"Ok i'll give you time to understand how stupid you are." You clap your hands, while they disappear. Noritoshi's eyes widened in complete shock and shock as you made the elders disappear. After a moment of disbelief and confused silence, he spoke up with a mix of stunned amusement in his voice.
"Did... you just make them disappear?"
"I sent them in my domain, they will shit their pants." He raised an eyebrow at that, looking impressed and amused at the same time. After a moment, Noritoshi chuckled.
"I didn't know you could do that... You're full of surprises, aren't you?" You take the elders back, with a sigh.
"So oldie, wanna give this guy freedom?" The elders appeared back in their former spots, as shocked and puzzled as before. One of them spoke up again, his voice harsh and irritated as always.
Yumo: "And how do you plan to give us orders? The Kamo Clan will not let itself be threatened by outsiders. We've ruled for generations and will continue for more."
"Oh right, your history shit." You use your cursed tecnique to trap them in a cage made of wood and needles.
"I can hurt you soooooo muuuuuuuch." All Elders looked shocked and stunned as they were stuck inside a liane cage. They tried to break out, but it was completely futile, the cage simply wouldn't budge. One of them spoke up, sounding less confident and more worried than before.
Yumk: "What... is the meaning of this? Let us out!"
"Will you stop piss me off and give this boy freedom?" The elders looked at eachother, silently debating and discussing something. After a moment, their leader spoke up again.
Yumo: "Fine, fine, we will do what you want, just don't do anything!"
The elders looked between eachother, obviously annoyed and displeased, but had no other choice but to agree to you. Noritoshi observed that whole scene, completely shocked and stunned by the way you handled the elders like they were nothing. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again, a mixture of amused and bewildered look on his face.
"You really have no fear whatsoever, do you? You just trapped the elders from my entire clan in a flower cage and threatened them with needles, and you act like it's nothing. Impressive..."
"They are just a bunch of shitheads." Noritoshi chuckled and nodded in agreement.
"True, but they hold the power of the entire clan. They expect to be listened to no matter what, so seeing you standing up to them like that... it's a rare sight, I'll tell you that."
"Yeah dictator style." He nodded again, a slight smirk forming on his face as he spoke.
"Exactly. They're the elders, the absolute authority of our clan, and they're used to ordering everyone around. But you, on the other hand, you're not afraid to defy them. It's refreshing to see someone standing up to their bullshit once and a while."
"I kinda like you, so i want you to be happy." You froze. You just confessed your feelings and even Noritoshi has a dumbfooled expression. He leaned back in his chair and shook his head with a slight amused sigh.
"Honestly... you're quite something. You just threatened my entire clan for my sake, and now you're going on about my love life. I still can't tell if you're a menace or a savior." He let out another amused sigh and looked at you.
"You do realize that you just made a target on yourself for the entire clan now, right? The elders don't like disobedience, and now you've directly disobeyed them, AND threatened all of them."
"Eheh i was getting bored these days. But if they do something else against you Just tell me." He chuckled again at your reply. He couldn't help being amused by your fearless and carefree nature.
"Alright then. Let's see how they respond to your little stunt just now. I have a feeling you've shaken up their system quite a bit."
The two of you walk to the main room where both clans are. Noritoshi take his place with his clan's elders. They all look at you and him expectantly, waiting to see what his response will be. One of the elders speaks up.
Yumo: "Now that we have all gathered, we have an important question to ask." The elders all look at Noritoshi, who is keeping a calm yet indifferent expression on his face, waiting for the question.
Yumo: "Noritoshi, after careful consideration, we would like to know if you are willing to marry this person, or if you still choose to refuse." Noritoshi looked between you and the elders for a moment, his expression still neutral. After a moment of silence, he spoke up.
"I have come to a decision." The elders all fall silent, listening attentively. One of them spoke up again.
Hira: "And your decision is?" Noritoshi glanced at you before looking back to the elders.
"I have decided to refuse." The elders are taken aback by his response, looking between themselves. After a moment of stunned silence, the same elder speaks up. Your heart shatters.
Yumo: "Why do you refuse? Is there a specific reason for your decision?" Noritoshi kept his composure, his expression staying calm and unbothered as he spoke.
"I have several reasons to refuse. She is not a typical traditional wife, she's too unpredictable and disobedient. I doubt she would be a fitting spouse for me and my role in the clan." Noritoshi continued with an unbothered tone.
"Furthermore, she seems to have an impulsive and reckless nature. She demonstrated this quite clearly when she threatened and intimidated the entire elders council. I find that trait unacceptable in a future spouse. She is too fiery and unpredictable." The elders all look at each other again after his explanation, their gazes still shocked and surprised. After a moment, one of them speaks up again, seemingly trying to change his mind.
Noritoshi glances at you as you get up to leave. A hint of surprise and perhaps even regret flickered in his eyes, but he quickly composed himself once again. After the meeting concluded, Noritoshi quickly excused himself from the elders and began searching the area for you. He knew that you had left the room in a hurry, and he could guess where you would have gone. He walked through the corridors, his steps quickening as he searched for you. His thoughts were racing, his mind still processing the events of the meeting and his own decision to refuse you as a spouse. Finally, he rounded a corner and spotted you standing in a secluded area, your back turned to him. He stopped and watched you for a moment, his expression unreadable as he observed you. He approached you, his footsteps soft and silent. Once he had closed the distance between you, he spoke up.
"I wanted to talk to you. The meeting was over, and I saw you leave in a hurry. I thought we should discuss a few things." He leaned against the wall, his arms crossing casually.
"First off, I want to clarify that my decision to refuse your offer was purely based on logical reasons. It had nothing to do with my personal feelings or anything like that." He paused for a moment, his gaze fixed on you as he continued his explanation.
"The elders believe that a future spouse should have certain qualities and adhere to tradition. They expect me to marry someone who fits their ideals, and you don't fit those ideals. That's the main reason for my refusal."
"I almost forgot how much of a bookworm you are."
"Want me to fight your elders?? I can beat them so they will never force you into things." He chuckled, shaking his head.
"That won't be necessary. I know for a fact that I'm the only one they think is worthy enough carrying on our bloodline, and they've been preparing me for this since I was a child."
"And I've finally accepted it, so no matter how much I hate the fact I have no say in my own life, there's nothing I can do about it anymore."
"The bloodline is a shit to me." He didn't even look offended by your statement, only nodding in agreement.
"I can understand why. For a long time, I thought the same. But at some point I was forced to accept it. The Kamo Clan is one of the three most important clans of Jujutsu, along with the Gojo and Zenin clans... All of us know the weight that carries, whether we like it or not."
"But why? You seems so calm, why don't you fight for your freedom?"
"What for?" He asked, crossing his arms on the table. He seemed oddly nonchalant. "How does me having any freedom change any of it? I'm still the eldest son of the Kamo family. I'm still destined to get married and have children with whoever my elders decide to be my wife. Me having a bit more freedom wouldn't change a thing about any of it."
"I repeat, i could knock your elders ass." He actually chuckled at that, almost laughing before it turned back into a smirk.
"You're really dedicated to fighting everything and everyone, aren't you?"
"Yep, i don't like being told what to do." Noritoshi let out a small huff in amusement - the biggest expression of entertainment you've seen from him so far.
"I have no doubt you don't... You have never been a fan of any sort of authority, after all. I'm amazed no one has succeeded in put you back in your place yet."
"That's why i don't want to get married. I don't want a man to tell me what to do and boss me around like the clan expect." He chuckled once again, watching how annoyed you looked.
"Answer honestly, do you want to marry me as you elders force you? And have Kids to keep the Bloodline?" You ask. His neutral facial expression shifted to something of a grimace in an almost instant. Clearly, the mere thought of having children already annoyed him. He didn't say anything for a moment before answering, voice low and stoic as usual.
"... No. I don't want any of that. I've never wanted it, in the first place."
"Then i'll fight for ya." He raised an eyebrow at that, genuinely surprised by this proposal of yours, but not in the negative, way. In a much calmer voice than before he responded.
"You'd go and fight the elders of my family just so I wouldn't get married? You'd do that for me?"
"You have to choose someone you love" For a brief moment, Noritoshi's stoic expression and composure faltered, a look of surprise and genuine shock appearing on his face. But, he was quick to recover, hiding his emotions once again with nonchalance and stoicism.
"What about you?" He asked, almost abruptly. "How'd you feel if one day you were forced to marry a man you've never loved and had children with him?"
"I Will never, cause i'm the strongest after my brother and nobody can force me."
"Ah, there you go with the 'strongest' thing again. You only care about your strength and your 'freedom', don't you?"
He said, and although it was supposed to be some form of playful insult, there was a hint of envy in his voice. Another moment of silence passed before he spoke up again.
"You still haven't answered my question, you know."
"I would like to marry someone, one day, and have tons of babies." A smirk was back on his lips when you said that, amusement clear in his eyes as he silently observed your excited-sounding response.
"Of course you would." He hummed. "Do you already have someone in mind? Who's the lucky man?"
"Nah nobody can meet my expentations"
"Such high standards, huh?"
This time, he chuckled, tilting his head to the side curiously. For someone as stoic and emotionless as him, he seemed strangely interested in your love life all of a sudden. Noritoshi sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, and continued watching you in silence for a moment as he thought over what you said before speaking up again.
"You need someone who can match your attitude. Someone who wouldn't give up and wouldn't let you have your way all the time. Someone who would call you out on your bullshit if he felt like it."
"Exactly." You say, before you saw the elders approach and felt Noritoshi shoulders tense in annoyance by you senses. He let out an annoyed sigh as the elders spoke to the both of you.
"There they go again..." He muttered in a low voice.
"Yo oldie!!" Both Noritoshi and the Elders turned their heads to look at you, with the elders giving you a disapproving look. One of them spoke up, addressing you and looking at you with a cold gaze.
Yumo: "Watch your tone. You're talking to very important clan members."
"So?"
Yumk: "So show some respect. We're not some common people, you can't act like that towards us." He said, his tone as cold and harsh as his gaze. He obviously wasn't used to people speaking to him that way. Noritoshi still remained quiet, looking between you and the elders with his typical indifference.
"He's not going to listen tò your shit anymore." The elders looked between themselves, completely surprised and shocked by your bluntness. They looked at Noritoshi, expecting a response from him, but all they received was an indifferent silence and cold stare, which only made them more annoyed and surprised.
One of elders decided to speak up, an annoyed look in their eyes as they did.
Kiyu: "And what do you mean by that?"
"He will going to marry someone he love, not someone you choose." The elders were silent once again, looking between themselves as they tried to understand the situation. Noritoshi was still looking completely unbothered, keeping his stoic composure as he listened to the argument.
Yumo: "Watch your tone. You don't know what you're speaking about, and it's none of your business anyway." He said, his voice getting slightly more irritated.
"Ok i'll give you time to understand how stupid you are." You clap your hands, while they disappear. Noritoshi's eyes widened in complete shock and shock as you made the elders disappear. After a moment of disbelief and confused silence, he spoke up with a mix of stunned amusement in his voice.
"Did... you just make them disappear?"
"I sent them in my domain, they will shit their pants." He raised an eyebrow at that, looking impressed and amused at the same time. After a moment, Noritoshi chuckled.
"I didn't know you could do that... You're full of surprises, aren't you?" You take the elders back, with a sigh.
"So oldie, wanna give this guy freedom?" The elders appeared back in their former spots, as shocked and puzzled as before. One of them spoke up again, his voice harsh and irritated as always.
Yumo: "And how do you plan to give us orders? The Kamo Clan will not let itself be threatened by outsiders. We've ruled for generations and will continue for more."
"Oh right, your history shit." You use your cursed tecnique to trap them in a cage made of wood and needles.
"I can hurt you soooooo muuuuuuuch." All Elders looked shocked and stunned as they were stuck inside a liane cage. They tried to break out, but it was completely futile, the cage simply wouldn't budge. One of them spoke up, sounding less confident and more worried than before.
Yumk: "What... is the meaning of this? Let us out!"
"Will you stop piss me off and give this boy freedom?" The elders looked at eachother, silently debating and discussing something. After a moment, their leader spoke up again.
Yumo: "Fine, fine, we will do what you want, just don't do anything!"
The elders looked between eachother, obviously annoyed and displeased, but had no other choice but to agree to you. Noritoshi observed that whole scene, completely shocked and stunned by the way you handled the elders like they were nothing. After a moment of silence, he spoke up again, a mixture of amused and bewildered look on his face.
"You really have no fear whatsoever, do you? You just trapped the elders from my entire clan in a flower cage and threatened them with needles, and you act like it's nothing. Impressive..."
"They are just a bunch of shitheads." Noritoshi chuckled and nodded in agreement.
"True, but they hold the power of the entire clan. They expect to be listened to no matter what, so seeing you standing up to them like that... it's a rare sight, I'll tell you that."
"Yeah dictator style." He nodded again, a slight smirk forming on his face as he spoke.
"Exactly. They're the elders, the absolute authority of our clan, and they're used to ordering everyone around. But you, on the other hand, you're not afraid to defy them. It's refreshing to see someone standing up to their bullshit once and a while."
"I kinda like you, so i want you to be happy." You froze. You just confessed your feelings and even Noritoshi has a dumbfooled expression. He leaned back in his chair and shook his head with a slight amused sigh.
"Honestly... you're quite something. You just threatened my entire clan for my sake, and now you're going on about my love life. I still can't tell if you're a menace or a savior." He let out another amused sigh and looked at you.
"You do realize that you just made a target on yourself for the entire clan now, right? The elders don't like disobedience, and now you've directly disobeyed them, AND threatened all of them."
"Eheh i was getting bored these days. But if they do something else against you Just tell me." He chuckled again at your reply. He couldn't help being amused by your fearless and carefree nature.
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heycallmeplease · 4 months ago
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She was forever unexpected and I was drunk on that about her. She was the love that came without warning, she had carved out my heart before i could've said no, and she always had that look in her eyes, the brightness of love and kindness and that everything was possible, i felt it too — when I was with her. I want to fall in love with her all over again, I want to get ruined again, only if she's the one breaking my heart
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kyouka-supremacy · 5 months ago
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Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)
#Today has been so long 😭😭😭 I've been out the whole day studying and when I came back I spent more than one hour to cook my probably gone–#bad chicken (and rice and spinach) and then I couldn't even eat it because it was my turn to clean the kitchen at the dorm (which is the–#third following day I'm doing) (worth mentioning I'm running on 5 hours of sleep)#And I was goofing around with my friends but while doing so I. made fun of the landlord. And then one friend told me “hey girl he's right–#outside” and like 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I hope I die painfully. I need to be back next year and he already makes my life hard enough and hhhhhhhhhhh#I wasn't even like. Serious. It was just to joke around with my friends I don't have anything against him (except for the things I do)#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#And now I feel so embarrassed I have no appetite at all + the chicken (which I had to bring home through one hour walk in summer which–#probably wasn't good for it. And then froze one day past the expiration day) (I really need to get better eating habits) I had been–#preparing despite taking one hour to cook it I got the firing wrong and now it's all hard and honestly not very good and like 😭😭😭#Look at what you did to the (frankly already diseased) chicken#I feel so betrayed by everything 😭😭😭 Can life get a little easier#I'm mostly kidding I'm doing okay. I just need to rant because I CAN'T GET OVER THE LANDLORD THING MAN HOW DO I FORGET ABOUT IT.#This kind of things always haunts me for at least three days so 😭😭😭#I'm dead tired but I really wanted to answer asks today so. Probably doing so between today and tomorrow#Rant over sending lots of l love 💞💞#random rambles#In my defense it's not my fault I'm too poor to throw the chicken away 😪😪 I haven't eaten since forever#It's also not my fault I can't afford a new non sticking pan so I have to stick (ah) to the probably toxic one#It is very much my fault for messing up the chicken cooking temperature tho lol
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fragglerockopinions · 5 months ago
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#This shouldn't be a surprise but seriously no one actually cares about my survival yes I've asked for help why would I get help#I'm functionally nocturnal and I keep staying up for like 48 hours and then sleeping for a day and I never know where I am#Or what day it is or if it's morning or night#Normal humans eat three meals a day and snacks right I think I maybe eat a snack every other day#I just don't feel hunger and my body hurts and cooking is so much effort I don't have#Weed used to help me be able to eat easily but now everything is just so hard and no food in house n cant go to store bc of ptsd too scary#I keep telling people when they ask that I am doing badly and need help but they as always just tell me to go to the store and buy food#Because it should be easy for a normal person!!! That would be such helpful and kind advice if I were normal#But I am not I am severely sick and traumatized and driving hurts so bad and stores give me panic attacks#Seriously if literally nobody cares about my struggling why not just be euthanized at this point?#This problem is so inconvenient to everyone and I have done all I can to convince people that I'm worth the inconvenience but :(#If I were worth talking to or visiting or helping people would have done that and I would be fine but I am not and that's okay#I genuinely don't mind being a husk at all#I'm just weirdly sad about it right now maybe because I think I feel hungry but genuinely I can't tell thanks autism#I also haven't been able to do my t shot in like three or four weeks I keep trying but I literally can't get the needle in :((#I imagine less testosterone in my system also makes me tired and lose my appetite#I'm so fucked up and nobody cares that I start my day at 8pm and am active and reply to emails and shit at 4am#Why would anyone notice that first of all but still. I would notice.#When even strangers are struggling I notice and I will do anything for anyone but it's selfish upon selfish to expect it back I understand#I keep looking for arfid and ed affirmations to help me but I can't find anything good#Genuinely . what the fuck#Just fucking need to be someone's dog feed me walk me put me in a cage teach me how to be better and treat me like I don't know shit#Because I don't I'm so stupid I can't even feed myself I'm dying please help me
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scarletcomet · 7 months ago
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scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die
#i know instagram doesn't represent ppls real lives#but that doesnt change the fact that i don't have many friends who care about me#and almost everyone my year is graduating and celebrating#i am so fucking lonely. i don't think any of my school friends miss me#24 days self-harm free but i might say fuck it and relapse tonight#why though? i guess i just need some way to express how im feeling inside. or maybe it's to punish myself or because im feeling worthless#it's been over a year now since i first reached out to professionals for help for this depressive episode#over a year and im still as lost as ever. i know im doing so much better than i was but i still feel so awful every single day#i feel like i still need to be doing a lot better before i can go back to school#i feel so stuck and hopeless. i know I've made so much progress but i don't feel as if ill be able to make anymore progress#i feel like I've hit a wall and ive tried everything#my therapist told me to just keep eating sleeping and getting movement in everyday and be patient#ive been going on walks every day for like 2 weeks now and i dont feel any difference#seeing my psychiatrist wednesday and im hoping she will have an idea of what to do#i hope it's not just slightly adjusting my meds or even just trying a different antidepressant (not many left i haven't tried)#i also worry that im not bad enough for more intensive treatments like ECT or ketamine#if she tells me that i just need more therapy or another group i might just fucking end it#idk like i kinda feel like im fine and there's nothing wrong with me but at the same time i always am feeling so fucking depressed#i have had so much improvement but honestly part of me wishes i was still actively suicidal#idk what to do
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rancidarling · 2 years ago
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oh for fucks sake i wish i would just throw up at this point
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Guess who almost fainted at a party tonight and spent the rest of it sitting on the floor with bowls of snacks
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heybaetae · 1 year ago
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visdiefje · 1 year ago
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I MISS living in a house with bug screens... For any future housing unless it is windy enough to blow anything small away, bug screens are a NECESSITY
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pandora15 · 2 years ago
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i think it's really rude of the excedrin i took a few hours ago to not work
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