#i don't really ship either of those
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I really hope din ends up a single father with lots of friends by the end of this show but these bitches are scaring me with their 'grogu looking happily at the happy couple' and 'everytime bo and din are together they seem to be closer and closer' and I'm just, I don't want that, I don't want it, please stop, please.
#i like dinbo the same way i like dinluke#I'll read fanfic about it but i really don't want it to be canon#i don't really ship either of those#I'm more of a dinfeld or dinboba kinda man#Or dincobb#But i know those aren't gonna be canon#and I don't have hopes for it#but i don't want dinbo either#the most realistic outcome of this show that doesn't involve a heterosexual relationship is him ending up single#which im all for#let din be ace#din djarin#the mandalorian#pedro pascal#bo katan kryze#bo & din bffs#and just bffs#lgbtqia+#i mean#he could be bi but i still don't want dinbo#i just don't feel it
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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*aliens your stage...
I'm not a big fan of the Sua one (I just doodled that because I was bored) I need to draw her fr at some point.. but I really like the Hyuna & Mizi one!!:] it was my first drawing of the year but I edited some stuff recently (like putting glasses on Mizi and the colors), also Luka with my OCs Liecher and Liezel because I think they look alike (kind of)...
#that's technically not hyunamizi but feel free to see it as such#I like miz!sua too much so I don't mind other Mizi ships really#I don't dislike them either#sometimes fanart is cute#my ocs.. Luka it's kind of a mix of those two in personality and looks..#Alien stage#alnst hyuna#alnst Mizi#alnst#alnst Luka
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kaidan and shepard stare at each other for an unusual amount of time in me3, even if there are no in-game hints of romance, and poor liara is there on mars & eden prime, probably thinking "okay that was weird???? but focus on the mission, liara, focus on the mission" and she goes on and on about what they need to do.
it's funny
#debmeleplaythrough#i don't have a shipping preference here#i don't think she's a third wheel in this either#but in those instances you can tell she's like 'okay let's ignore the staring'#i mean you can think your game is bugging they stare so long!#but i also think kaidan really likes liara#and shepard does as well#and vice versa#so they're not ignoring her#just staring
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what's with that "fucked up ships" poll having both utenanthy and . akio and anthy in it. like huhwhat.
#what definition of “fucked up” are we going for here because i don't think those belong in. the same category of.. anything??#also. people calling akio and anthy a “ship” just rubs me the wrong way to begin with.#not because i necessarily think it means people are romanticizing it because i know there are 5000 different definitions of the word#but just because it makes it out to be some kind of fandom thing instead of just. you know. a part of the show?#like do we really need a fandom-ified word for every time there is a relationship protrayed in a story.#i'm not a fan of calling utenanthy a ship either for similar reasons but at least i know what people mean when they say it#(and yes i know “ship” is just a shortened form of “relationship” but they do have different connotations and it just pisses me off a little#when people seem to be allergic to using the full word in contexts where it is a lot more applicable.#that's just me being a fandom/shipping culture hater though)
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My favorite funny thing on occasion is to imagine sugar baby/daddy dynamics with Tails ships
Something so comical about the fact that Sonic the hedgehog (hedgehog without a home) would be sugar baby to Tails (fox who has so many labs. Like who needs to worry about money when your little buddy pays for stuff heroing doesn't and keeps his bases fully stocked with ingredients for your favorite food
Or like, Tails, who basically ended up being Sonic's sugar daddy, accidentally gaining more sugar babies by virtue of making sure certain characters don't inconvenience people (basically playing damage control)
While I think it's Rouge mainly who would probably suppliment the money for Omega and Shadow (if need be) and play this sort of role for them, it's still funny to imagine Tails insisting on setting them up in hotel rooms because Shadow was just about to sleep outside and saw no problem with that (and because Tails can't very well just let Shadow do that)
A friend of mine also moved that, under this framework, after the idw issues where the Chaotix took a job helping Knuckles get an artifact back, Tails would just silently patch them rent money as an apology for the whole thing.
Rich inventor Tails accidentally gaining bfs out of the main cast as his sugar babies because he's assumed responsibility for their antics and cares about them too much to just let them live life the way they have been. Do you see my vision?
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#knuxails#shadails#i just be ramblin#for the record it's not limited to these ships by any means#they were just examples#While this is largely funny thoughts or au stuff genuinely one of my favorite headcanons is that Tails is the sugar daddy to Sonic's sugar#baby. Since Tails has all the resources and the housing and the labs and the budget and pretty much canonically has his home set up to cater#to Sonic#While Sonic kind of just adventures and does whatever#but ultimately does drop by Tails' place often to take advantage of Tails' assistance and catering to him#and since they adventure/go places with each other pretty often it's pretty easy to imagine Tails paying all the bills😂#Not even to mention idw where it's all but implied that Sonic has been living with Tails at this point (crashing at his place much more#often than before at minimum)#As for the Rouge comment. While I don't personally ship Rouge with either Shadow or Omega you can take that comment about her playing the#same role to them (possibly) as Tails does for Sonic as ship if you so wish#And with that being said you can also interpret this post as implied omegails/tailsmega/taimega too. I only didn't tag it cause I didn't#really talk about those two much specifically
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I mean this absolutely respectfully, but you should probably find a different duo name for Mei and MK than goldendragon--goldendragon is their ship name, so by tagging it as goldendragon, you're putting platonic content into the tags for people who are looking for romantic content of the two of them! It'd be like tagging a post about Wukong and Macaque being friends or brothers as shadowpeach--it clogs the tags and makes searching for content difficult. And again I mean this entirely respectfully, I'm not sure if they have a duo name though or what else to call them!
hi! so i figured i should explain myself a bit more in terms of using that tag lol.
i use the goldendragon tag despite me not shipping them because it's completely up to the viewer which context they decide to put the art in. i don't make the art with romantic intentions, but i don't mind people taking my goldendragon art as romantic. i just like their dynamic either way.
plus, goldendragon is the more well known tag of their duo and i want to reach the people that want to see more of them, i guess?
so i use goldendragon as the umbrella term for mk and mei. personally i don't ship them, but you are more than welcome to read my art of them as romantic.
i wouldn't call my art of them "platonic" art? it's just art of them.
tl;dr: i'm still gonna be using the tag because my art isn't strictly platonic. you can see it as romantic if you'd like. plenty of people do.
#i also think romance works in several different ways. just thinking that ship art has to be explicitly shippy feels very one dimensional#love - romantic or platonic - is multifaceted#and personally i don't see anything in my art that would make you think it's just platonic? again#you can read my art how you like#i dont make the art with romantic intention but you can read it as such if you want#i dont make it with strictly platonic intention really either. i dont think those two things can be so strictly defined#respectfully if you don't like seeing my posts you can just scroll away /nm /gen#or block me#i think i said in another ask. this app is free and everyone is welcome to it. if someone inconveniences you; just walk away#answered asks#spoop speaks
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I know this is kinda/probably an unpopular opinion but I just don't ship Bombalurina with either of her "big ships", aka Tugger or Demeter. I mean why would I when-
CASSANDRA IS RIGHT THERE
#this is a joke but also not lmao. you can ship her with whoever you want I just don't ship her with either demeter or tugger#and let's be clear. i still ship Cassandra with Alonzo but drop Bomba in there and it gets even better#also while we're being chaotic. I can see how one could ship bomba with those two but I can't really see the Alonzo and Demeter ship#but this is just my opinion and hcs that doesn't really matter#you'll ship what you ship and I'll ship what I ship ;)#*cough* *cough* ALL HCS ARE VALID#cats the musical#bombalurina#cassandra cats#bombacass
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as much as i love the idea of fan kids in media with immortals in it[and i do find peoples fankid ocs generally fun], i don't think Integra would do that even adopted even whatever, at least not intentionally.
I gotta be real, I don't think she'd want to do that to Alucard unless there Really isn't another choice. One would assume he is bound to the bloodline/inheritance line and another heir is kind of just... extending the capacity of this to hurt him for at least another generation.
Unless the powers that be threaten to do something bigger than him otherwise, Integra, who seems to have intentionally picked the under-equipped for the position and non-related Penwood jr to get the organization after her death, her plan here is pretty clear. She wouldn't have a 'real' heir if she can help it because she wants Alucard free of the bond after her, she wants to be the last person with the capacity to take away his autonomy like that.
none of the characters in this show are good people exactly, but I do think she feels a kind of remorse for both her family's past likely uncountable abuse towards him, and personally for perhaps overstepping a boundary or two. because that just Will Happen if you have that kind of 100% control over someone.
Legit, that's why you rarely hear her specify something as an 'order' even when he obviously acts out, only in real key moments/after their back and forth they do for that. I genuinely do not think she likes to use the full extent of the power she has over him, just more so fill that role in his life so he feels... comfortable for a lack of a better word? There is fun powerful and there is 'this is something my father would do to you' and i reckon hard orders are a lot more of the latter
i don't think she'd trust an heir or a potential heir's heir to tell the difference.
partially because i don't know how much she trusts herself to.
#necrowriting#hellsing ultimate#integra hellsing#hellsing alucard#i love these two imaginary people being stuck in whats essentially a 24/7 dynamic without the consent of Either of them#just woe inherently unbalanced dynamic be upon ye with no way to opt out have fun daughter and captive monster#theyre doing best they could considering everything but you can only do so much under those kinds of circumstances#i dont think alucard is well enough to Want out#but i think integra has enough sense and care for him to want it for him#also i don't know if she'd care if her dear friend ended the world after there is no one to hold the reigns#not that she necessarily thinks that's what he'd really do. knows him too well#hc them closer to platonic/unalabeled myself but i feel like this would only go double if you Do outright ship them romantically#'i will not see this immortal better in my lifetime but i can make sure he isn't actively prevented from moving towards it' you feel?#unintended/this kid got thrown at us fankids would still work but i still feel like this aspect goes fully unacknowledged even there usuall#not enough child murder considered for my taste idk#that and frankly. some of yall overestimate integra's ability in parenting. i love her but that is a deadbeat dad
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: THE CITADEL (PART 2)
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Maj. Kaidan Alenko With: Councilor Donnel Udina, Councilor Tevos, Councilor Laiel Sparatus, Cmdr. Armando-Owen Bailey, and Kai Leng And a Special Guest Appearance by: The Illusive Man But sometimes the way a thing goes down does matter, Sophie. Later- when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity- then it matters. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#kaidan alenko#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#james’s panicked face as the shuttle goes down you will always be famous to me bc you are so relatable#at this point i just know the normandy crew is not letting shep EDI or james near anything mechanical anymore#(something mechanical explodes around them on literally every mission at this point- cars.. bombs.. ships.. you name it!) :)#the way i didn’t even realize EDI and kaidan were wearing matching armor on this mission until i got to the elevator and i- 🥹 (blue crew!!)#but like- the way when soph gets off the elevator and kaidan has the gun drawn and she tells them to lower their weapons??#and EDI and james don’t even hesitate? THOSE ARE MY BABIES!!! THATS MY SQUAD RIGHT THERE!! THE LEVEL OF TRUST BETWEEN THESE THREE!! 🥹🥹🥹#and they don't raise their weapons again?? not until soph raises hers?? like it's the level of trust between her and them for me 🥹#i will say i talk a lot about how me3 shenko canon doesn’t really follow my own shenko canon (and my canon coup is MUCH DIFFERENT)#but something i noticed about the coup that i really liked? when kaidan has his gun drawn on shep you can see his hands shaking a little#it’s SO SUBTLE (and it’s easier to notice when you’ve got the video slowed down) but like?? the way his hands aren’t steady??#when he has the gun drawn on someone he loves?? i cried a bit making that gif ngl 🥺#the soft little ‘you won’t’ from shep after ‘i better not regret this’ makes me 🥺 every time.#there’s a canon reason soph doesn’t take the renegade interrupt but part of it is bc i like kaidan’s convo on the docks better :)#speaking of the docks the intro to the convo is a bit nonchalant but i like kaidan’s speech about integrity/living with your decisions#and the conversation between him/shep about what happened on the landing pad (though i wish it was a tiny bit longer!!)#there’s no ‘i feel like you would have taken me out’ line in the soph™️ canon but we supplemented it with some rewriting bc loose canon™️#(she never draws a gun on the landing pad either but that’s a story for the actual canon 🙃)#and yes i gif’ed the ass shot. there’s only one valid ass shot in the series and it’s this one! and you can quote me on that! ✨
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JIMIN MENTION. Riverdale characters as BTS members
unfortunately i did workshop this with the army gc and i think i have a proposal. it doesn't totally work because of gender dynamics and the way the universes of corporate-competitive art performance and riverdale aren't really quite aligned, but i think i got somewhere.
RIVERDALE MAINS AS BTS MEMBERS:
jughead = rm / kim namjoon. iconoclast. the lyricist-narrator of the whole deal. the link to the big corporate-bureaucratic metaplot in the sky. a typewriter kind of guy. there are so so so many of him and sometimes they interact. queerbait-complicit and yet sidestepping it.
reggie = jin / kim seokjin. the negotiator. the big-city boyfriend from the hallmark movie. the nation's son-in-law but DID flirt with your grandmother and your dad at the function. fed that mean old man from his bare hand. schemes and scams, less opportunistically than as a vocational calling. second place to karl marx and knows it.
betty = suga / min yoongi. she's resisting her idol image with her gratuitously-edgy secondary persona but she's still your poor little meow meow, your baby. she's alert! she's fractured! her amygdala is working sooo hard. her shadow grows and grows and she's avoiding it she's looking at it she's avoiding it she's looking. don't say tangerine.
veronica = j-hope / jung hoseok. idk it's about perfectionism. it's about how CRYING 👏 DOES 👏 NOT 👏 FIT 👏 WITH 👏 HER 👏 LIFE'S 👏 VIBE. it's about lean-in girlbossism. it's about success not creating psychological safety (but she wants more anyway bc what else is she here to do). she's nice but she's ruthless but she loves you!! and on several tragic levels iykyk: she da bus driver all of a sudden.
kevin = jimin. compulsive joiner. compulsive people-pleaser. compulsive flirt. compulsive. mapplethorpe fanboy. gender outlaw. a smoke-show, now. most likely to charm a late night talk show host. queerbaiter of the cruising-coded-crowd-scene variety. most likely to put it all on the line for a little cabaret ♥
cheryl = v / kim taehyung. questionable art appreciator. questionable painter. questionable self portrait accumulator. high-aesthetic curator of Scenes and Situations. president of gay fanservice (self-appointed). glamorous alien OR reclusive little freak. if the high-aesthetic, melodramatic-literary closet case lament fits.
archie = jungkook. golden boy all-rounder. beefcake-on-display. designated himbo. Wants To Help. will NOT contribute to a conversation so don't even try. gives kind of a sincere wounded baby animal quality at times. queerbait via lore-relevant chime card sponcon (this isn't jarchie but it does make you ask yourself "is charlie puth sort of jugheadcore, if jughead sucked (derogatory) instead of sucking (complimentary)?")
#riverdale#bts#bangtan#jeon jungkook#kim taehyung#veronica lodge#min yoongi#archie andrews#park jimin#kim seokjin#betty cooper#jughead jones#kevin keller#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#cheryl blossom#reggie mantle#suga would EAT those ultimate wildcard bars. 'the nightmare from next door' and then one of his little ad lib aggressive 'HUH's after it#gc coined 'namjug' and i really hate that. so thanks anon. you did this to me. namjug#i ruined most of my bts ships i mean 'subunits' (i mean ships) with this btw (rpf is fine if you're silly with it btw. don't @ me)#so please don't take this as a comment on dynamics either on riverdale OR within the extended bts personas / masks / characters universe#the mapping that works the WORST here i think is jin:reggie. jin makes such a point of not taking anything too seriously#he's a little bit of a marilyn about it all. he plays.#and that makes him fundamentally just soooo incompatible with riverdale. where every character takes it SO seriously#just constant ego threat#the least riverdale thing about BTS is that they all kind of pretend not to have families within their celebrity personas#and riverdale is soooo so so very much about parents and parent<>child relationships#riverdale also can't really accommodate aegyo. hence my leaning into grim takes on bts members who are often quite cutesy#like jimin. but i do think the kevin alignment works really well for him outside of that. if you understand we're being gothic#if there's one must-watch video linkout in this post it's probably v singularity. beautiful riff on confessions of a mask. art. camp!
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finished opla and have truly shocked myself.... i think sanji might be my favorite. he is just a little baby. i want to squeeze him so hard.
#Nami is also very high up there. loved her so much. Lesbian QUEEN#of course I loved Luffy how can you not??? and zoro was great and so was usopp#but weirdly something about live action sanji was just really good to me#i didn't go into opla expecting to get a new fav. especially since i really don't like sanji in the anime#he's just not my cup of tea... even more so as the series goes on. i liked him more when he was first introduced#so this was a nice surprise!!#also loved coby and helmeppo and garp and zeff and nojiko and all the others#oh!! and buggy. he was hilarious#AND KUINA MY PERFECT DARLING BABY GIRL SHE WAS SO GOOD AND RIGHT AND EVERYTHING TO ME#SHE DESERVED 10000 MORE HOURS OF SCREEN TIME#but yeah opla was very very fun and everyone should watch it#i enjoyed that they actually killed people and the fights (even though there were silly moves) felt serious and dangerous#and there was some blood (not gore which would have shocked me if there was but it wasn't completely bloodless either which i appreciate)#and there was cursing and flipping people off which was perfect and hilarious#AND THE SHIPS WERE SO GOOD LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BOATS#anyway i loved it and would watch it 100 more times#one piece
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hey, hey, quick internet fandom ettiquete lesson; X has two hands jokes only vibe if you are talking to someone who is ALSO already talking about how X has two hands. Okay? Okay. It is in fact very rude to go onto other people’s posts where only one set of hands is involved to evangalise about two hands. When seeing ship art/fic of only half your ot3, it is proper ettiquete to simply enjoy the art/fic as it is, and if so inspired create/commission/seek out the ot3 content of your choice. This has been your quick internet fandom lesson, thank you for your time.
#this is one of those things that has been cropping up a lot lately and it's. not cool. don't do this okay?#bc no one likes being evangelised at; for any reason#i know its probably just because you love your ot3 and i 100% feel that. i have many an ot3 i adore#but to the person who reads your comment on the thing they put hard work and love into it just reads as-#-'the product of your hard work and love is WRONG you should fix it to MY PERSONAL STANDARDS'#you are not better than the singular otp sides of things and its *certainly* not a solution to ship wars#the ot3 is going to have a different dynamic than either side of the individual otps and thats simply not going to vibe with everyone#and thats okay!#long story short: enjoy your ot3. love it! and let others enjoy their otps in peace. tell them you like their art if you want!#just dont go on to say what you think is missing that the creator clearly never intended#stop talking to yourself flight#ngl this is like. at least half the reason i've kinda been shuffling away from srk#kh3 convinced me sr was endgame but i could have happily kept on shipping an ot3 without canon. i dont need canons permission to ship#but wow has the constant bombardment in almost exclusively sr fanworks of 'omg two hands' has really soured the whole thing to me tbh#stand au srk is kind of the only srk to me now
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Do you also headcanon duck to be trans
I do not actually! I’m aware of the headcanon and I do like it quite a bit, but if you’re asking if like. I intend for him to be read that way in my drawings, I really don’t.
I think he’s just a guy who likes crossdressing tbh. I think it’s like, important to acknowledge that he can be someone who likes dressing up in a feminine way on occasion and still be a guy yknow what I mean? He even like, self-identifies himself as a dad, so that’s what I’m rolling with.
#unsure based off the way you worded this if you meant like. transmasc duck or transfem duck??#but uh either way i definitely see him as a guy. no doubt about it.#i actually get sort of uncomfortable when people make his proportions SUPER feminine and give him like.a wasp waist or like Human Woman Leg#BUT THATS JUST ME#like me personally i get really. uncomfy with people who are really transparently trying to make him like. 'the girl' in the relationship#esp when it comes to shipping/fluffybird/ect. idk. it reeks of like early 2000s yaoi dynamics to me and its just. i dont like it#im not a fan#i think he can be short and chubby and mean and unpleasant & rude and violent and have his weird military thing and wear a dress on occasio#like i don't think those all need to be seperate parts of him i think they can totally coexist#my dhmis postings
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Isn't Riz like canonically aro/ace? Why are there so many fic shipping him with Fabian?
#i mean if i was going to ship riz with anyone it would be either fabian or fig#but iirc he's like explicitly said he's not interested in dating#also i would ship fabian and fig before i shipped either of them with riz either way#too bad they ended up being stepsiblings because brennan was too much of a coward to go for gilear/jawbone#or gilear/gorthalax#either of those ships would have made more sense than the fucking pair the spares hetfest that got thrown at us at the last minute of s1#(yes i'm still bitter about that leave me alone)#by the way i don't have anything against fig/ayda that just feels more like teen dating to me which never feels permanent#and the dynamics that get the most focus are naturally between the player characters#so feeling more shippy vibes between them is just natural#anyway the only actual ship i have in fantasy high is ragh/gorgug#i'm holding out hope#oh i also think fabian/adaine would be really cute too#honestly also fabian/gorgug#fabian is just extremely shippable idk what to tell you#i mean hell for that matter i'm not against fabian/ragh#i just think ragh/gorgug feels more right
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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