#debmeleplaythrough

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After the Sanctuary mission, everyone on the Normandy has something to say about the Illusive Man and how they're all ready to get him.

But out of all of them, Kaidan's reaction is, to me, the most intense:

Can you feel it, Shepard? Feel the quickening? Illusive Man better say his prayers tonight. Because we're coming for him. Murderous asshole. Oh, yeah. Tide is turning. I feel it.

Those lines like this don't do justice to the scene. The voice acting is just A+ and makes him sound quite scary. He's standing with his arms crossed, talking quietly.

He has that sort of very cold and focused anger that makes you think he will show no mercy when the time comes, especially not to someone like TIM.

Canon has shown repeatedly what Kaidan is capable of doing and why (if you steal someone's innocence around him, you're fu****) so there is nothing surprising there, at all. But since he's otherwise so gentle and sweet, I think it's possible to forget that aspect of him - this sort of steel in him.

The saying about the ones you don't expect might have some value here, because if I was a bad guy and Kaidan was after me, I would be very very scared. I would categorize him as "dangerous, period" and run.

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I'm heading to my parents' place for Christmas Eve but first I wanted to start the Omega DLC. So right now we disabled the defense system and are headed to the rendez-vous point.

This piece of dialogue makes me laugh:

Line delivery in Mass Effect makes everything chef's kiss.

Poor Bray has seen it all, he's like, what else are you going to tell me Aria? What else?! They're going to drop biotic snakes on us soon?How fun.

And Shepard is going along, with an enraged Aria constantly yelling TELL YOUR BOSS I AM COMING FOR HIM AAAAAAAAAH, like, this isn't how we plan our own mission. Right? Right???? followed by flashbacks to Mako driving, Hammerhead heading into lava, James crashing his shuttle on Mars, and even more shenanigans with the Normandy crew................

At least they always have stories to tell :D

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After the war someone is going to write a book about Hackett and multiple chapters will involve the number of times Shepard called to report something completely unexpected that almost caused the end of the galaxy as they all know it and how Hackett had to roll with it

At some point it became business as usual but at the beginning, it must have been a shock. Turians and Cerberus on Tuchanka? It's more likely than you think.

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Arriving at Athame's temple on Thessia and I know the atmosphere is really heavy and everything happening is really sad but Garrus "doesn't that look like a Prothean? 👀" comments are too funny

PROTHEAN

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You know those lines that resonate and you keep thinking about it afterwards? They don't even have to be complex, they're just stuck inside your head.

This one after Rannoch:

I think it's the fact that by this point in the game, losses are by millions. Diana is asking her viewers "is it still worth it to try to save those planets?". It's not 100%, and it's no longer possible to even believe it could be. So despair is really around the corner because what is the point now? But the point is of course that you do get to save some. Little by little, you can take the galaxy back. It requires belief, sacrifice, courage, collaboration.

When we reach the end of the game and all the fleets arrive? It's such a powerful moment. It proves it all adds up. And to me, that's also true of life. It's rarely 100% but that doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying.

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(if you don't want to read something critical avoid this post because something bothers me a bit)

one of Shepard's first conversations in the Citadel in ME1 is with Din Korlack, who is so grumpy that we think, aaaaw, he's just mad the volus don't get a seat on the Council, but he talks about how some species are not seen as equal, and when you get to Avina in the embassies and you ask her about the volus and Council seats, she ends her little speach with "The embassies allow lesser species to have a voice on the Citadel." she was 100% programmed to tell visitors that, with those words.

fastforward in me3 and you can tell the writers don't know how to deal with the batarians and the sheer level of atrocity that has been commited in me2 yes yes, the reapers would have done worse in arrival and shepard had no choice, and yes, the batarians have done terrible things but it's so big, as in "every remaining batarian knows shepard's face because of what they're done" big that the writers can't deal with what truly happened and what it should do to a human being

so we get a sort of simplistic story in me3 to make the guilt seems less than it should be (the remaining batarian leader, Balak, is bad and wants revenge). after a talk with him, batarians with their ships become war assets. it goes okay?

but when Officer Noles asks Shepard if they want Balak arrested and Shepard replies "I want you to put a bullet in his head… but we're all making some sacrifices today", I'm thinking that's a very questionable default line right there and that's not how I see Shepard. because yes Balak is not exactly someone innocent in this story but the use of the word 'sacrifices' is really annoying me considering arrival and the near extinction of the batarian race.

Balak just told Shepard he feels he can't save his people. and if you read the war assets, batarians are described as "enraged survivors". he even implies that the remaining batarians are basically cut from war info, he knows the location of Reaper forces because he's listening to Council transmissions. so he's basically their only hope at this point, and it's clear he doesn't know what to do. the level of despair there is just really high

"No collection of vessels is more eager to engage the Reapers than Khar'shans last warships."

so... it's not like i want shepard to be a full on batarians fan but there was a better way to express themselves after talking to Balak

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when Mass Effect has this little habit of breaking your heart, even and especially in less than one minute with side characters.

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Shepard is always complimenting their team. "If there's one pilot who can..." "If there's one geth you can trust..." It goes on and on. But this one said in Grissom Academy to Jack about her students seems so sweet to me because we know Jack's story (and what it can look like from the outside).

We know the suffering, the abuse, the pain, the rage and the anger. We also know that it's a part of her, just like other parts exist as well. Jack is someone who cares deeply, who had her innocence taken from her, who is rebuilding herself. And reconstruction can be so painful.

I think Shepard sees and loves Jack as she is and it's a way of telling her that. Jack is quick to make a joke about having some free time while Shepard is off playing the hero but something tells me she'll never forget what they say to her. It has a special place in her heart.

I can't think of anybody who would care about them more.

[omegastation]

You go into this conversation with Javik and you have no idea what is going to hit you.

He talks about Shepard being resurrected, and what he means that he gets to "come back" and fight the Reapers. The difference to Javik is that Shepard got to come back to his people. Javik just comes back to the Reapers.

He asks Shepard about the crew in a very specific way: Are they the reason you continue to be living? And if you pick "Yes, they matter most", Shepard says:

My crew has become my family. We've stared death in the face more times than I can count. Things like that bind people together in ways I can't really explain.

And you go, oh. What a nice conversation. Very nice, good feelings, power of friendship.

Except it's ME3 and it's here to break your heart.

So Javik answers a simple "yes" because Shepard doesn't have to explain anything, he knows exactly what they mean. And he hopes Shepard will never have to do what Javik had to do to his own indoctrinated crew.

He was hunted by his own people, so at that point in the game we have to picture Garrus, Liara, Tali, Wrex, Kaidan/Ashley, Samantha, EDI, Joker, Miranda, Jack, Grunt, Kasumi, Jacob, Zaeed, Samara, James or even Anderson and Hackett going after Shepard.

I cornered my men and slit their throats one by one. I watched them bleed to death to be certain.

And it's meant to make us think about Shepard doing the same, having no other choice.

It was the day I understood: war is atrocity commited in the name of survival.

It is a lesson I wish I had never learned.

My interpretation here and it's only an interpretation, is that he's really saying, I'm the version of you who lived for my crew and look what happened. Look at this lesson I learned. So get ready and be prepared.

And it goes back to the very specific wording in his question. He's not just asking Shepard what motivates them. He's asking: Are they the reason you continue to be living?

And telling his story, it seems to me like he's saying that in his experience, living for the ones you love is how you lose the war. The enemies will take them from you, one by one. You should live for yourself, to survive, but leaving for yourself will mean, in the context of this war, that you will have to commit an atrocity.

It's really interesting to have this conversation with him right after the one with EDI, because EDI will figure out through her conversation with Shepard that self-preservation as a means in itself can disgust her. Javik here adds more layers to the whole story.

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that feeling when you're on tuchanka to cure the genophage (good) but you know you'll have to say goodbye to mordin (bad)

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I WOULD IF I COULD GARRUS

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Legendary works with my saves after I had to reinstall it. I'm back on the Normandy right after Rannoch and the conversation with Tali makes me so emotional.

I know we know, but when Mass Effect does character development right, it does it so right it's beautiful. Tali is a good example. Every playthrough makes me appreciate her even more because I find it so rare when characters acknowledge they might be wrong about something and don't look for excuses but instead reflect on themselves and try to grow. She's doing the work, alright, she's doing it.

And there's something just really special and even striking about the different parts of her personality, you know this mix between adorable/cute/let me do this nervous gesture with my hands "I don't know anything about raising crops" Tali and brave/don't mess with me/I'm an Admiral Tali.

And after Rannoch, everyone on the Normandy is talking about the quarians rebuilding and working with the geth. Tali herself is talking about it, but she's on the Normandy herself. She's not on Rannoch. And Legion is gone.

"Today, on Rannoch, there are quarian children who will grow up healthy and strong, thanks to the geth."

But really, thanks to YOU as well, Tali, who fought for the children of Rannoch, and came back to the Normandy to fight another war, not knowing if you, yourself, will ever get to come back to the homeworld and settle there. It's kinda like that over used Hamilton quote (I can't help but think about it): ���Legacy. What is a legacy? It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.”

She worried so much about her father's legacy and about deserving her place as an Admiral, but her own legacy will be about someone really special who made a lasting impact on the entire galaxy, who was kind and good to people, someone who knew when it was time to make peace, who worried more about the community's needs than her own. Despite her doubts and worries, Tali is incredible and her legacy will reflect that.

[omegastation]

my new headcanon is that Javik spends a lot of time in this exact spot, standing in this kitchen, trying to intimidate whoever is trying to work on something, not just James

picture it: you're here to fry an egg but the Last Remaining Prothean is right there, staring at you, not saying a word

he knows exactly how nervous he makes people. and Liara must exit her room from time to time and roll her eyes at Javik's antics

[omegastation]

I love that you can always count on Private Westmoreland and Private Campbell to gossip or comment on the war after getting back from a mission. Those two do not care if Shepard hears, they're like: "DID YOU HEAR????? Fuck Cerberus!!!!!!!!"

[omegastation]

Yeah, I just joked about Garrus' comments on Thessia about the protheans, but the whole mission is enough to make you cry, because Shepard is talking about its failure like it's their responsibility (and I find it very hard to see them in such a state).

Before you go on Thessia, Tevos said:

Whether you know it or not, you've become the sole ray of hope in a very dark night.

You hear that and think: this is way too much for one human being. Obviously Shepard is going to feel the very worst after this.

Anderson is calling right after Thessia like a Dad to make sure Shepard is okay but the whole conversation about Anderson showing Shepard London is enough to remind you that it won't happen, ever. So you know where it's headed. It's headed to You did good and it's breaking my heart right now.

Everything about Cerberus is reinforcing a pattern (after all, Vendetta talked about Protheans making building the Crucible difficult, turns out they were indoctrinated). Kai Leng and TIM are as frustrating as ever.

There's also this Garrus quote while he's on Thessia that I find really gut-punching: You look at something like that, and you wonder where all the good in the universe has gone. Because it sure isn't here.

The level of despair has reached an all time high at this point in the game :'(

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Every time I do Sanctuary I get filled with even more love for Miranda. We see her essence in a sequence of actions: angry fist, her not accepting a deal where Henry gets to walk out alive and potentially harm others, killing her father, immediately turning to her sister to ask her if she's okay, hugging her with relief, coming back to Shepard saying she doesn't see herself as a damsel in distress.

As Shepard, we went on a gore-filled journey of our own, but we were with squadmates. Miranda went alone to that horrible place, to find her sister, to warn others. Alone! She's so brave.

And when she was on the ground and thought this might be it, that maybe she wouldn't be able to save Oriana, we show up and remind her she's not alone at all. She's really not alone. And she gets to end a horrible cycle, once and for all, which is really a fitting end to a part of her story. So much love for Miranda!