#i don't like this very much but i think it's mostly because i let it sit too long so here!
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☆Yandere platonic cult x reader part 1☆

Summary: you and your friends have been forced to go on a trip to Sweden so they could finish their research paper for extra credit, honestly you were just tagging along for the fun of it not having the chance to go out as much as you’d like to, little did you know your stay at the community would be long overdue.
Tw: religious themes, sacrifice, yandere themes, infantization, death, violence, manipulation. the cult is very yandere for you, mental health issues, panic attack,readers friends are rude.
Taglist: @lilyalone, @stove-top96, @shadowytravelerlover
Word count: 8k
“Come on (name)! Hurry up! We ain’t got all day!” You sigh in annoyance as you look towards your friends and yell back, “I’m coming jeez! Jeez, give me a second okay!”
Your friends look at you with an annoyed expression but shrug it off. You carefully pull your luggage out from the trunk of the rental car you all rode in.
Honestly, it was already exhausting enough having to fly in a plane for 6-7 hours straight and the worst part is, is that you didn’t get one ounce of sleep thanks to your friend's snoring.
So not only are you physically exhausted but you're mentally as well. Just great.
You sigh in relief as your finally able to get your last piece of luggage out of the van.
you close the trunk door and decide to observe the scenery around you. It’s magnificent, you think to yourself.
From the tall yellow-like grass to the crops growing nearby filled with vegetables and fruits.
Then there are colorful flowers of all types surrounding the other side of the field, each being carefully taken care of to the fullest extent.
It mesmerized you To be honest, you've never seen anything this beautiful before, the only extent is the park in the middle of your city and even that can never compare to what you are looking at right now. No wonder people say Sweden is one of the most beautiful places to be because it hasn't been tainted by technology.
The sun reflects down onto you and you can feel the heat radiating off of your skin, but luckily there is a strong breeze to soothe that heat, it's perfect weather today you think to yourself as you continue to admire the fields surrounding around you and your friends, it seems like its endless.
“(name)! Get your ass over here! We ain't got time to dilly dally.” your friend says in an annoyed tone.
You snap out of your trance-like gaze and look towards your three friends, you sigh in annoyance as you pick up your backpack and suitcase and walk over back towards them.
“finally took you long enough.” your friend Mia says in annoyance scanning your form in a scrutinizing gaze, she was always the more moody one out of your group of friends, always having a stick up her ass.
She had dark brown curly hair and hazel irises with freckles littering her tan-like face, she was mostly slender having some curves here and there. “sorry I just got distracted by the scenery.”
you mumble annoyed at her attitude, Mia rolls her eyes, and states
“whatever let's get a move on before it hits sundown I want to get this shit over with anyways.”
Your two other friends Jacob and Cady nod reluctantly cady has long ginger hair with freckles and brown eyes while Jacob has dark brown hair with blue eyes and a more slim build.
and thus began your walk down the fields toward the desolate forest ahead.
“Mia, do you even know where we are going? Did the professor even provide us a map at all?”
you ask nervously having this gut feeling that nothing good is going to come ahead but maybe it's just a feeling.
You haven't really traveled outside of the U.S before so maybe it's just the anxiety of being in new places?
“yes actually i do know where we are going, don't be such a scardy pants and yes the professor sent me the map since I am the team leader.”
she taunts you sigh rolling your eyes at her cocky behavior.
You four continue down the long rocky path which results in you taking a look at the surrounding forest.
The forest honestly had humongous trees well bigger than the trees you've seen before when growing up, which caused the tree's height to block out most of the sunlight.
The rocky terrain your walking on looks worn down like it's been used for years which it probably has. What amazes you the most is how many flowers and wildlife are in the forest your walking through.
Youve honestly never seen so many animals in your life just from being here for liek 30 minutes it truly impresses you.
You occasionally glance at some of the logs or cut-down tree stumps next to the path finding interest in whatever inhabitants are abiding in it.
But you shake your head trying not to get to side tracked while you're here.
You're not here to explore the forest or play with the wildlife your here to work, so that's what you're going to do.
After a least an hour of walking and complaining from Cady you four finally arrive at what looks to be like a wooden gate with two strange-looking people standing in front of it with spears and animal like mask?
Okay well that's very creepy, “what the fuck”
you heard your friend jason mutter in absolute disbelief. It seems he was just a shocked as you but it seems like mia is paying no mind to it as she flaunts towards the gait confidently looking over the two guards and their appearance, you do the same but from a safe distance.
They both seem like males that's for sure from their muscular build to the lack of clothing they are wearing, it seems they are wearing on robes with metal plates on their shoulders acting as a shield.
What you also take notice of is both of them have a wolf mask.
What is even more strange, one of the guards has long wavy blonde hair while the other has short dirty blonde hair. Maybe there siblings?
You shake your head trying to rid your thoughts before you start to overthinking, you refocus back on the scene of Mia trying to flirt with the blonde-haired guard.
Which makes your two other friends sigh in annoyance at her behavior.
You three walk over to where mia is standing infront of the two guards, cady then clears he throat in annoyance
“you done mia so we can get a move on?” mia sighs at cady comments and nods her head
“yes in fact i am done i was just conversing with these two gentleman~ here but they've been ignoring me like a brick wall! And the worst part is, is that they won't even let me in!” mia states dramatically, whining like a puny child.
This causes Cady and Jacob to raise their eyebrow in confusion at her statement of not allowing her inside.
“they won’t? Why the hell not did you tell them that we came here for the research paper? Surely the professor notified the community of our arrival right?” Jacob states in pure bewilderment.
“I don't fucking know I tried to tell them! But nothing seems to go through to them! Like i said their brick walls!”
Mia states loudly which causes you to flinch from her tone of voice which of course your friends don't notice as they start to argue acting as if they arent just talking about the guards in front of them.
You sigh ignoring your friend's argument as you decide to step forward toward the two guards
“Hello there! Me and my friends here are here for a research project on your community, i don't know if you are aware of it or not? But could you please let us in?”
You state nervously, finally the guards look towards you and examine you like your a piece of prey, which unnerves you, to say the least.
But what surprises you the most is when the blonde-haired one speaks.
“So you are the one’s the great one has spoken about”
the blonde man states looking at you with a blank and unnerving expression behind the mask not that you could see or notice it though.
“I-i um yes?” you say confused about who the great one is.
The guards notice this and nod reaching to unlock the wooden gate this of course catches the attention of your arguing friends.
They turn to look at the two guards and you with a surprised look but quickly school it to a neutral one not wanting to piss the guards off.
When the gate finally opens to another pathway straight ahead your friends take this opportunity to push past you and the guards and enter the community.
Of course, this startles you to some degree but you quickly are able to reign your cool.
You then quickly thank the guards before rushing after your three friends.
This action very much surprises the guards having been used to rude and disrespectful behavior from “outsiders” so you doing behaving the opposite of disrespectfully is surprising to both guards but it also is nice that there are at least still some good people out there in the corrupted world outside of their sanctuary, its refreshing to say the least.
You sigh tiredly as you finally catch up with your three friends as they continue to walk down the more clean path.
You all finally make it towards what looks like a town square with a fountain in the middle and multiple other houses around it.
The houses look like they are made out of wood with a brick-like roof on the top of most of the houses. Strange you thought to yourself as you continued to examine the center of the community.
But you finally snapped out of your thoughts when Jacob nudges you in the shoulder to grab your attention. Which causes you to turn to look at him curiously.
That's when you notice the multiple stares directed at you and your friends.
You then look towards the source of those stares and find yourself faced with multiple people surrounding you and your friends, all of them having animal-like masks on.
But what catches your attention the most is the tall lady at the center of the people surrounding you.
She seems to be at least 6 feet tall with her long chocolate-like brown hair flowing down her back with her being nothing but dressed in a pure white dress with golden patterns to it that reaches her feet.
That's when you notice she's barefoot as well.
Strange you think to yourself but you snap out of your thoughts again when the lady clears her throat.
“hello their visitors you must be the foreigners our leader has spoken of, we are enlightened to be in your presence i hope you have a wonderful stay here. I will have one of our members show you towards your sleeping quarters.”
and with that before you and your friends coil question her at all she takes her lead with some of the community members following suit behind her.
“That was strange” Cady muttered anxiously “Yeah no shit” Mia states looking at the community members in a scrutinizing gaze.
You sigh ignoring your friends' spiteful comments, you then hear someone clear their throat which stops your friend's rant.
“if you all are done, I will be showing you to your sleeping quarters.”
you then gaze at the person speaking in a monotone like voice and are met with a tall slim man dressed in a similar fashion to the other community members just with a cow like mask to his face.
Your friends clearly embarrassed clear their throats and mutter a quick apology before returning their gazes to the man.
The man nods approvingly paying them no mind as he starts to walk down the town square, towards where you four will presumably be staying.
You and your friends follow after him at a steady pace.
Of course, you are more distracted than your other three friends, with the agriculture the community has to offer.
This annoys your friends of course but they do not say anything about it.
You four continue to walk down the cement path trailing behind the man. You all start to walk more towards the outskirts area of the community.
after a few more minutes of walking you four come face to face with a cabin-like structure that’s smaller than the houses the community has to offer.
It has a rustic type look with cobwebs poking out on the outside of the porch.
The porch in itself looks like it could've seen better days with some chipped wood poking out with dents on it.
It clearly looks like it has not had inhabitants for years now.
The condition of the cabin causes your friends especially Mia to grimace in disgust.
“Is this seriously what we have to stay in!” Mia states loudly, glaring at the man.
This causes the man to turn back towards her looking at her as if she's a spec of dirt underneath his shoe.
“Would you like to say that again?” he says coldly which causes Mia to flinch as she stutters out “I-I u-um N-never m-mind.”
the man then scoffs but pays her no mind as he walks towards the cabin.
You sigh as you reluctantly follow after him with your three shell-shocked friends. You both stand behind him as he unlocks the door with a wooden-like key, he opens it and motions you all to step inside.
Mia then sighs and steps inside first followed by cady and josh then yourself once you enter you take a good look at the interior presented in front of you.
Its old thats for sure from the rustic interior and the dusty floor all the way to the cobwebs littering the place with broken furniture and a animal like rug placed infront of the living room randomly.
Alomsot like someone didint even want to bother to atleast hide it or place it correctly.
Mia sneers at the predicament clearly unsatisfied with the conditions presented to her. “What the fuck is this shit show?”
she esclaims loudly which causes you to flinch at her loud outburst which doesnt go unnoticed by the man.
He glares at her disapproingly “i suggest you lower your voice and watch your language young lady that is no way to speak to your elders.”
he says calmly but with a hint of annoyance to his tone.
Mia looks baffled by the way he is treating her like some sort of child which of course angers her causing her face to heat up in embarrassment.
Cady and jacob start giggling at her sudden embarrassment finding it amusing that their friend is getting put in her place. You sigh at mia’s obvious childish behavior.
“I apologize for mia’s childish behavior she shouldnt have acted out like that.’”
you say with a tired tone looking at the man waiting for at least a irritated or unbothered response instead your surprised when his gaze softens towards you “oh its alright honey you friends are vert rumbunchs but nothing that we can’t handle”
he says softly with an almost fatherly look in his eyes from what you can tell.
This causes you to flinch not used to nicknames you stutter out an embarsset response which of course he notices and chuckles in amusement.
“your a shy thing arent ya? It’s very cute.” he says in a playful tone which causes you to blush in embarrassment.
Your friends awkwardly stand by as the conversation between you and the man unfolds, Mia then butts in and clears her throat before looking at the man “I think we're fine here its starting to get dark and we still have to unpack.”
she states in an annoyed tone clearly not wanting to be around the man any longer than she had to.
This of course disappoints you having enjoyed the man's company but you push the feelings aside.
The man turns around again to face mia and stares at her indifferently “Very well then have a good night and please if you all need anything, just ask you are our guests after all,”
he says in a dark tone which causes shivers to run up your spine but you shake it.
finally the man exists through the front door leaving you and your friends in a tense silence.
“Well, that was creepy.” Cady says with a nervous tone to her voice.
Jacob nods his head in agreement “Yeah no fucking kidding this whole place is giving off bad vibes and the way they talk to us is patronizing.”
Jacob said in an annoyed tone clearly irritated by the whole ordeal.
“let's calm down okay? How about we start unpacking our stuff and get a good look at this place?”
i say with a skittish tone trying to calm down the clearly pliable tension.
“Fine whatever” cady states as she puts her duffle bag and suitcase on the ground and moves towards the kitchen.
Jacob does the same following behind Cady which leaves you and Mia alone.
“Mia you okay?” I say in a worried tone not used to Mia being so quiet throughout the whole ordeal. “ yeah I'm fine.”
she says in an annoyed tone which causes you to flinch.
It doesn't go unnoticed by Mia as she smirks in response, she then turns around towards the old couches and places her backpack, duffle bag, and suitcase on the dusty couch.
You sigh setting down your luggage near hers as you decide to explore, not wanting to make the tension worse.
You decided on going down the hallway nearest to the kitchen, deciding its the best option to explore first. You could find some bedrooms, This cabin is pretty big after all.
You sigh as you slowly start to trudge down the dark hallway you finally approach what looks to be an old door clearly worn down from the lack of usage.
You reach your hand out to grab the door nob but before you can you hear a loud bang coming from the kitchen which causes you to jump in surprise. You rush back towards the kitchen panting.
“What was that noise what happened.” you say in worry, only for Cady and Jacob to laugh.
“jeez such a scardy pants, aren't you? Dont worry, Jacob just accidentally dropped the pan we were gonna use to cook.”
Cady says in a teasing tone while she playfully smacks Jacob on the shoulder. Jacob sighs, annoyed and glares at her which earns another laugh from Cady.
You sigh in relief “s-sorry just something about this place keeps me on edge,” you say as you try to laugh it off to lighten the atmosphere.
Which of course doesn’t work as Cary shakes her head In Amusement before turning back around to start cooking.
You sigh in annoyance as you leave the kitchen, deciding to at least find a bedroom you can lie in, completely forgetting about the door you were previously going to open.
You walk down the opposite hallway and finally find one of the bedrooms, which is pretty extravagant to say the least compared to the rest of the house.
You look at it in shock, from the pure red blood bed sheets with golden tips to the golden headboard with silver butterfly piercings indented into it.
Then, there's the pure white carpet placed in the center of the room. Finally, there is a wooden closet at the end of the room.
You gasp in shock at how pretty it is before taking notice of the basket of fruit placed directly on the bed. You tilt your head in confusion before finally entering the room.
You approach the basket placed on the bed and finally take notice on a note placed next to it, written in another language.
Whatever you think to yourself as you decide, you should show the rest of your friends the basket.
“Hey guys I found this basket in one of the bedrooms!”
You say as you finally enter the kitchen, which causes Cady and Jacob to turn their heads towards me in curiosity. “Oh, you did What's in it? Let me see,”
Jacob says as he snatches the basket from your hands and searches through it.
Cady sighs in annoyance at his eager behavior.
“Damn it theirs nothing interesting in here just a bunch of fruit and crap.” jacob sighs in annoyance and throws the basket back towards me which causes me to stumble and catch it.
Cady glares at jacob “ stop being an ass jacob” jacob rolls his eyes and mumbkes a whatever before getting back to cooking with cady.
You sigh as you exit the kitchen and enter the living room. You place down the basket next to Mia.
you notice her annoyed expression. “Whats wrong Mia?” mia look towards you and shakes her head in defeat “i cant get any damn service out here!”
you chuckle at her whining behavior in return she pouts towards you but finally takes notice of the basket next to you both “whats that?” she says as she points towards the basket.
“It's just something I found in one of the bedrooms I came across while exploring i dont think it has anything interesting in it all it has is fresh fruit.”
Mia sighs and nods before standing up to grab her backpack and open her laptop and grab her papers.
“since dinner's cooking do you wanna help me fill out these papers, the professor said we had to document everything so might as well start.”
you nod your head in agreement mumbling a sure before being handed a few papers to help fill out.
Finally, for what seems like an hour, cady comes back towards you both to inform you guys dinner is ready which causes you and Mia to sigh in relief.
You both make your way towards the kitchen, which has four plates of pasta placed out on the counter for you all to grab you and mia mutter a thanks as you make you way back towards the couch to coutinue your work, which leaves Cady and Jacob to eat together.
After three more hours of work you and mia finally completed the worksheets needed for today sighing in relief you then state
“I’m going to go and get ready for bed ill see you tommrow mia, dont try and overwork yourself okay? You need to get rest as well since we have a busy day tomorrow.”
mia sighs in annoyance at your worry and nods “yeah yeah dont worry about me just get to bed sleepy head”
you sigh at her nickname and nod your head in amusement as you rab your luggage from the couch and make your way to one of the bedrooms in the cabin.
You pass Jacobs and Cady's room, them having already fallen asleep beforehand.
You finally approach the bedroom you explored beforehand, having decided you'll just sleep in there for the night.
But before you can enter, you hear a strange noise coming from inside,which causes you to halt in your footsteps.
Suddenly, you feel like you're being watched, which causes a shiver to go down your spine. You shake off the feeling before finally entering the bedroom again.
You place down your luggage next to the wooden closet. You sigh as you crouch down next to your suitcase and open it to grab a fresh pair of pajamas and your medication for the night.
You finally finish changing as you hop into bed, laying down on the plush pillows You reluctantly try to fall asleep.
You still feel like you're being watched, but this time, you can't brush the feeling off, which heightens your anxiety.
But after an hour of staying awake, you finally fall asleep only to be woken up again by the noise of the door to the bedroom being opened, which causes you to freeze, you then hear quiet footsteps approach your bed which causes you to hold your breath silently.
You then feel a cold hand on your forehead caressing you like a parent would to your child as the figure starts to hum a soft lullaby which reluctantly causes you to drift back asleep.
But before you fall asleep you hear one last word from the person “dont worry baby youll be home soon.” but before you can process the words you fall asleep.
You yawn as you open your eyes to the sun drifting into the room through the slightly cracked window placed next to your bed.
You rub your eyes in exhaustment as you sit up to look around in the room. What catches your attention though is the piece stuffed animal placed next to your bedside table.
You widden your eyes at the plush lamb finding it absolutely cute your carefully pick it up and inspect it before placing it down on your bed deciding to keep it.
You stand up from the bed ad yawn walking towards your suitcase to grab your clothes.
You finally finish changing and step out of your bedroom as you walk towards the kitchen were jacob and cady are up conversing while mia is doing her makeup in the living room.
“Hey sleepyhead did you sleep well?”
cady says in amusement which causes you to nod hesotantly still thinking abou the events that happened last night.
“well we got a busy day today so you better be prepared to walk alot!”
jacob says as he bites out of a piece of bacon presented on the counters which you nod in agreement.
Mia finally exits the living room “are you guys ready to go? I already have the gear ready so we can document.” you, cady and jacob nod in agreement.
You then go towards the living room to grab some of the gear with the help of Jacob and cady.
You all then exit the cabin and walk down the same long pathway towards the town square of the community.
You sigh in relief as you all finally enter the twon square which causes the commonity members to stare at you all as you enter.
“what’s first on the list of stuff we have to do?” you ask in curiosity “well first we have to gather information on the resources they grow and make here so maybe we hould interview some of the farmers first?”
mia says qustionly, you nod your head in agreement. Jacob and Cady also nod their head, agreeing with Mia.
“alright then, off to the fields we go!” mia says as she approaches a female wearing a lamb mask. “excuse me Ms. if you dont mind could you point us in the direction of the feilds were the farmers work?” mia asks confidently which causes the female to nod and point ahead downanother path.
Mia mutters a thank you and walks off. You three follow behind her as you examine your surroundings.
But you can't help but feel like you're being watched again, which causes you to look around frantically, paranoia creeping up on you.
Finally, after a long walk, you four make it to the grass fields were some community members farm fruit and vegetables. This amazes you, to say the least, on how much effort these people put in to keep the community afloat.
“Okay, (name) you can stay here while we go and interview some of the farmers. Don't wander off, okay?”
You nod in agreement as your friends walk ahead and leave you on your own. But something catches your attention.
A community member struggling with a basket of fruit. You rush over to help her with the basket as you help her put it down.
Then you take notice of how old she looks and a worry look crosses your face.
“oh well thank you dearie for the help my old back hasnt been like it used to be when i was younger.” the woman says in a motherly tone smiling warmly at you behind the tiger mask over her face.
“Its no problem, ma’am im just glad i could help. Is your back okay?” you say in a worried tone. Which causes her to chuckle in amusement. “Oh, im perfectly fine dearie ive been through worse but i do appreciate your help this is the first time outsiders have been as nice as you.” you stare at her in confusion at her statement which causes her tone to turn solemnly.
“we haven’t had the best experience with outsiders as a whole. There have been few that have been here before hand that werent the nicest but of course, we took care of them!”
you look at her sympathetically, but her last sentence catches you off guard. What could she have meant by that? But before you could ask her, she was already walking away.
You sigh in annoyance but shrug it off, deciding to sit down in the grass fields and wait patiently for your friends to return. Hopefully, they’ll be back soon, you think to yourself as you gaze up at the sun.
fiddling with the dandelion in your hand as you slowly start to doze off. But before you could fully fall aslee,p you feel a small tug on your shirt.
And you're surprised to be faced with a child no older than 6 sitting next to you and fiddling with your shirt. You hadn't even heard him approach you. But you smile softly at him, which causes the little boy to flinch.
From what you can tell, he has strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes with the same white dress that you see all the other members wear he also wears a bird like mask on his face.
“hi, little one do you need something?” you say in an affectionate tone.
You always did have a soft spot for kids. He looks up at you in wonder before muttering, “I... I like your s-shirt,” he says timidly, which causes you to soften your gaze at his timid nature.
You carefully pick him up and set him in your lap.
He continues to fiddle with your shirt as he cuddles against you, which causes you to chuckle as you comb your fingers through his silky soft hair.
He cuddles closer to you before finally falling asleep. The scene just looks to serene and feels so peaceful.
You don't remember the last time you felt like this. Felt at peace.
But of course that peace has to be interrupted at some point as your about to close your eyes, you hear the talking if your friends as they approach you.
I guess they finished you think to yourself.
The noise causes the little boy to wake up in confusion but when he sees your friends approaching his grip on your shirt tightens as he galres at them This suprises you of course.
Your friends stop in their tracks as they quietly wisper to each other but to break the tense silence,e you wave them over.
They hesitantly approach causing the little boy to glare even more,e but he still grips onto your shirt.
“hey guys, are you done doing interviews with the farmers?” you say hesitantly trying to ease the tension forming. “yeah, we finished.” Jacob says sharply, and you can sense hes on edge, which causes you to furrow your brows in concern.
“Did something happen? You all seem..tense.” you say in concern as you inspect them. “Well-” but before Jacob could finish what he was saying Mia interrupted him sending a glare to jacob “nothing happened, so you dont need to worry now lets continue our interview so we can get it done before the so-called banquet we were invited to tonight.”
Mia says in a snipped tone clearly not wanting to waste any more time. You flinch at her harsh tone and nod reluctantly in agreement.
Your flinch doesn't go unnoticed by the little boy though as he glares even harder at your friends.
Of course, this goes unnoticed by you, but your friends do clearly notice and their shoulders tense at the harsh glare the boy is receiving to them.
You grab the little boy and place him off of your lap and stand up and dust the grass off your clothes. This causes the boy to pout behind the mask, having wanted to stay next to you a little more longer. But he doesn't voice this because he doesn't want to upset you, you ruffle his hair as you turn to face your friends as you happily converse with them.
But unnoticed to you the boy is having an inner turmoil of his own. Why do they have to capture your attention.
You shouldnt even be looking in their direction your friends are just a waste of space, not worthy of your presence because your his, his sister and he would be damned to let these insects ruin that.
Mama always have said outsiders are nasty people and now hes starting to believe it. But he hopes you can stay here forever with him and the community. Hes sure youd be very very happy.
Plus it's not like you’d miss your own boring life anyways right? You could have everything you need here. A loving community that is ready to do whatever it takes to keep you. And he hopes that that's what his community decides to do. Because he wants you to stay no matter what it takes.
You're extremely tired after four long hours of interviews and interactions with the other community members, you're finally glad the banquet came around the corner faster than expected because you were starting to grow extremely hungry.
Of course you weren’t the only one you noticed how antsy Jacob has been getting, clearly he’s hungry as well.
But the strange is that the little boy from earlier has been following you like a lost puppy which is cute of course but it still bothers you that his parents havent come looking for him at all and when you asked him he just said
“mama and papa are just busy! But thdey know im safe!” which of course has you smiling in relief but you still held that sense of worry.
As the hours stretched on your finally learnt his name, it was Abner. It was a cute name to say the least. But back to the present at hand, you four finally finished all interview needed for the first day and were getting ready for the banquet at 9:00. Which of course, Mia told us we had to dress “presentable” whatever the hell that means.
Of course, you didnt pack anything presentable to her standards so you opted for a black dress shirt and some formal pants with sneakers.
You sigh in contempt as you finally finish brushing out your hair and styling it.
You then exit your room. Then head towards the living room to wait for the rest of your friends to finish getting ready. You then spot jacob already dressed and ready to go as he scrolls on his phone.
Your smile softens when yo see him you then take a seat next to him on the old couch. He notices your presence and smirks “ look at you all fancy looking you look hot.” he jokes as you nudge him in the shoulder, playfully muttering a shut up.
After 30 more minutes of waiting Mia and Cady finally enter the room in ruffles dresses and high heels you sigh and roll your eyes at their so called “presentable outfit” “that’s what you all are gonna wear its not a ball you know?” you say jokily which earns you a galre from Mia and a scoff.
You chuckle again, putting your hands up in mock surrender but before mia could respond cady cuts in.
“stop teasing okay? We have to get a move on so we wont be late we are meeting with the leaders of this so called community. So we have to make a good impresion so we can get as much information as possible so we can pass this extra credit.”
Cady states sternly which causes you all to nod your heads reluctantly in agreement. Not wanting to argue any further you and jacob stand up and make your way to the front door ready to go, cady and mia follow behind you two.
You four exit the cabin and make you way down the path leading towards the community center. You look up towards the moon shining down on all of you.
You’ve always been fascinated by the moon and how it reflects. In your opinion, you say its absolutely beautiful everything about this place is beautiful
Finally, after minutes of walking, you all arrive at the community center and walk towards another pathway leading towards the great hall, an imposing structure that is made out of wood.
After 5 minutes of walking, you all finally arrived at the entrance of the great hall You can see the light peeking out from the large imposing door.
You four walk up the wooden stairs, and Jacob opens the wooden door allowing you three to enter in first.
Mia goes in first then cady, then you as you finally enter the great hall you are in awe at the scenery and design of the place.
From the flower decorations hung up on the walls to the candles and fruits then their is white tablecloth placed on the tables with a bunch of fresh food.
From chicken and beef to vegetables and fruit. All sorts of varieties littered the table which makes your mouth water and your stomach grumble in hunger.
You then take notice of the statue of a naked man standing at the end of the room with a large star like window placed behind him.
It's amazing how people who only depended on natural resources could make all of this happen.
Then you noticed the hundreds, maybe thousands of stairs boring into your back. You look around, finally noticing the community members are not only staring at your friends but specifically at you. Which creeps you out, to say the least.
But what shocks you even more is the 6 imposing figures placed infront of the imposing statue placed infront of the star window. To say they are intimidating is an underestimating it, they loom absolutely terrifying.
But one of the members you recognize as the pretty lady from yesterday which makes you widen your eyes in shock. She catches your gaze a smiles softly standing up to approach you.
You stagger back in shock to shocked to speak “hello its nice to see you again foreigner i would like to request that you join us for supper our leader would like to formally meet you as well as our officials.”
You look at her in shock but realize that you don't have any room for argument, noticing the serious tone her voice holds.
So, with a heavy heart, you nod in agreement, which causes her to light up and smile warmly. She grabs your arm and pulls you forward which causes you to stagger back.
But you reluctantly follow her to the table she pulls the chair out for you and allows you to sit down next to a very tall man. She then takes her seat next to you
“our leader will be here very soon so please dont mind his tartiness. Oh! I never got to introduce myself! My name is Ezra! Whats your name little one.” you pause deciding whether or not it would be a good idea to tell her but you decide to.
“My name is (name).” you say timidly, which causes the female to coo at your shy nature. Which causes you to blush in embarrassment with earns a chuckle from the other 5 officals. Which makes you blush even more in embarrassment.
But before you could respond a the great hall door slams opens as the gaurds from yesterday are stationed next it, bowing to what seems like a very large man maybe 7 feet tall? With long dark white hair that looks almost unnatural, he is wearing something totally different a robe with golden pattern designs with black dress shoes with golden designs as well.
He wears a bear mask, and from what you can tell, he is very muscular and has baby-blue eyes.
This unnerves you, to say the least. He's very intimidating, with a golden robe hanging off the side of his shoulder, and his steps seem precise and planned.
This also unnerves your friends as they glance nervously at you. But you notice the man is staring right at you. His eyes bore into your very soul with an intensity that is so extreme that it makes you uncomfortable. What is his problem?
You think to yourself, nervously picking at your skin as the man approaches with steady footsteps, as all the community members stand up to bow before his presence like he's some sort of god.
This unnerves you even more as his eyes continue to bore into you, analyzing every twitch and breath you make.
Finally he arrives at your table, standing right infront of you, ezra then stands up and bows the official sitting on the right of you does the same thing so does the other four officials.
But he doesn't respond to their formal behavior as he continues to stare at you motionlessly as you anziously pick at your skin.
He then reaches out and imoblizes your wrist from continuing to pick at your skin this leaves you in shock as you freeze in anxiety.
You can clearly see the size difference between the two of you. His hand can fit fully around your wrist like he could easily snap it at any time which scares you to say the least.
His intimidating frame adds even more to the tense atmosphere “ dont do that anymore child; you'll hurt your delicate skin, and we dont want that do we?” he says in a very soft tone which surprises you to say the least, not expecting his voice to sound so soft and velvety.
Which comforts you to some extent that hes not trying to intentionally scare you.
But he keeps a form hand on your wrist letting you know that he won't be letting go of it any time soon.
“I-i just do it out of habit i cant really control it sometimes when im really anxious.” you mutter timidly, not daring to face his gaze as he stares intently into you.
His gaze softens slightly, and he rubs circles into your wrist to soothe your growing anxiety.
Which doesn't exactly work as you can still feel him staring into you, including all the community members and your friends.
You’ve never liked being the center of attention so you're surprised you haven't gone into a full blown anxiety attack right now.
Maybe it's the way he's trying to ground you that prevents that from happening. You don't know, and you don't care you just want to get this over with so you can get back into that comfy bed and sleep.
But before you can dwell on the thoughts plaguing your mind you feel the mans hand let go of your wrist. He turns around to look at everyone else with a calculating look before that look softens to a more serene expression. “ let the feast begin!” he shouts.
He then walks over towards the seat standing right next to the statue. The chair looks more like a throne than anything with its golden pattern designs and the red velvet texture to it, you would think a king would sit on it.
You sigh as you snap out of your thoughts when a plate of food is placed infront of you with apple juice? The food looks absoulty delicious on your part.
From the perifcally roasted beaf with mash potatoes and vegetables on the side to the white rice with chicken in it. Damn you mutter under your breath as your mouth starts to salvate.
But then you take a look around and notice all the adults oncluding your freinds got some type of alcoholic beverage but you just got apple juice.
Thats weird you think to yourself but shrug it off not wanting to dwell on something not worth your time.
You start to dig into your food quickly which causes ezra to chuckle in amusement a she Coos at you.
“Don't eat so fast honey, we don't want you to choke do we?” this causes you to blush I. Emmbaresment putting your hea down in shame which causes her to chuckle even more. But when you took a sip of th apple juice it tasted very sour.
Which is weird but you shrug it off not bothering to worry about it but before you could take another bite, the chattering decreased in the great hall as the leader stans up to approach the center of the room, this of course catches your attention instantly.
“Brothers, and sisters daughters and mothers, fathers and sons tonight our banquet has been honored by the cesilatial god himself to bestow us and our community a blessing and so to thank him we will preform our ceremonial sacrificial ritual for our god and our guests as a thanks.”
he says in a soothing tone and you can tell his voice has a deep effect on these people her from their adoring looks to their devotion you can feel radiating off of them. It awes and unnerves you at the same time.
But what do they mean by a sacrafical ritual?
You think to yourself as you anxiety starts to grow. You look towards you friends who are sitting at a table near you and you also notice their anxious expressions.
But before you could dwell more on your thoughst the great hall door opens as two of the guards carry in a struggling woman.
Which makes you widen your eyes in shock and horror. The guards put down the woman oto the cement like structure of the statue and tie her in place.
Then you notice another community member come in with a large tray of candles a book and a dagger.
This unnerves you even more as you start to shakinly pick at your skin from the growing anxiety creeping up onto you.
What the fuck…what the fuck are they going to do to that poor woman. You think to yourself as you stare in horror at her as she screams and struggles and pleads.
This causes you to close your eyes and put your hands over your ears. You take shaking breaths as you feel an oncoming panic attack. But of course your friends don’t notice or are to shocked to care.
You return you sight to the scenes I front of you as the woman pleads but it falls on death ear as the leader grabs the dagger from the tray
“låt dem vara ljusa och låt vår gud ge dig gåvan av evigt stycke unge” he says to the woman before impaling the dagger in her lower stomach then into her right breast and finally into her forehead the blood from the stand leaks out of her lifeless limp body onto the floor.
You feel like your going to throw up as the community members stand up to clap in celebration like what he did was completely normal.
And you can’t hold it back anymore you dip down and realealse all what was in your stomach to begin with. You gag at the smell and pant feeling tears rolling down your eyes. Then you notice everyone is looking at you now again.
You need to get out of here now you think to yourself as you eyes look up towards your friends who are as equally shocked and disturbed at what took place.
But before you could say or do anything you feel the tightening hold of Ezra rubbing your back soothingly this disturbed you even more at how calm she could be when just witnessing a murder!
You can’t seem to wrap your head around it and your heart is pounding so fast you think you’d have a heart attack any second and maybe that would be for the better because you don’t know what’s going to happen next and you don’t want to find out.
You just need to get out of here now no matter what it takes you refuse to die.
Authors note: y’all I work so hard on this sooo please comment and like a lot I would like this to reach at least 1,000 likes that would be the world to me and I definitely am going to make part 2 which is way more darker and that’s where the more intense Yandere behavior comes in!
#yandere platonic#yandere#yandere cult leader#yandere cult#sweden#infantilism#infintalization#yandere x reader
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#listen it is late and so i have sourced and researched the best i can#but like. its laughable that prev tagged misinformation#bc i do not think my original post has any misinformation at all [...] #if you have the sources to back up your claims which were not sourced correctly then im happy to read about it
In my initial reply, I took the zine claims at face value for simplicity, because you do not indicate which claims come from which source, and your sources are mostly two or three steps from the research they repeat, making it very annoying to track down the actual data. But since you mention it, let's take a look at those now:
(Source 1): This is an article talking about 2 other reports. The first report link goes to this Washington Post article, which is paywalled and ultimately references this paper. The second report link goes to this paywalled Bloomberg article about new natural gas-fired power plants opening in the US. Despite the clickbait title ("AI Boom Is Driving a Surprise Resurgence of US Gas-Fired Power"), the actual article only mentions AI once, in an unsourced claim about three industries that are driving the resurgence.
(Source 2): This article is also discussing a different (again, paywalled) "report," this one in the New Yorker, which references (but does not link!) this paper, and also makes another unsourced claim about ChatGPT's daily energy use. (*Wikipedia voice*: "It's been estimated" by who???)
(Source 3): The substantial claim about AI here is a link to this paywalled Financial Times piece, which I think may be referencing this report from the NERC, though it doesn't give me a lot to go on.
(Source 4): This is a very short, non-paywalled (yay!) Forbes article that's mostly about water, and makes a single, unsourced claim about AI's projected water usage over the next couple years.
I believe the most honest and helpful way to source your information would have been to reference and link the free PDFs of research reports directly, instead of laundering the information through layers of paywalled news articles from different sites. I tagged your post as misinformation because its claims are misleading when presented without context, and you made it unreasonably difficult to fact-check them. Some of them may be factually wrong as well, but if it's too hard to tell either way, the point is somewhat moot.
For the rest:
I emphasized that AI was not the primary concern for the sustainability goals I mentioned not because I thought you were construing it as such, but because I was anticipating what most of the tumblr audience is going to take away from your post, whether you intended it or not. This is really important for a professional sustainability educator to understand.
When megacorporations take a voluntary "sustainability pledge" and then renege on it a couple years later, you should take both their original pledge and their excuse for reneging with a whole fistful of salt. We need actual legal regulations and enforcement, because "self-regulation" is a joke. (I know that you, OP, know this. Just repeating for the audience.)
"[Generative AI] has a vastly higher carbon footprint than any other type of AI" -> this is apples and oranges, it doesn't mean much. The costs are vastly different, but so are the use cases.
If an individual wants to reduce their personal water footprint, their personal generative AI use effectively doesn't matter, except maybe if they're a super-user of image generation.
Using 1 fewer liter of water at a datacenter in the midwest United States obviously does not translate to 1 extra liter of water for people who otherwise don't have access to clean, safe water. Those are mostly two different issues.
As explained in the replies, I'm pretty sure you're confused about electric units, so the electricity section of your followup is mostly wrong.




is it worth using AI when it harms our planet?
sources:
https://www.tomsguide.com/ai/chatgpt-energy-emergency-heres-how-much-electricity-openai-and-others-are-sucking-up-per-week
https://www.windowscentral.com/software-apps/a-new-report-reveals-that-chatgpt-exorbitantly-consumes-electricity
https://www.semafor.com/article/12/18/2024/ai-energy-demand-raises-risk-of-blackouts-across-the-us
https://www.forbes.com/sites/cindygordon/2024/02/25/ai-is-accelerating-the-loss-of-our-scarcest-natural-resource-water/
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Anyone Can Cook
as the wise tale of ratatouille states "anyone can cook... but only the fearless can be great"
{Hello! Second fic, this time pure fluff for recovery! Warnings: kitchens being messy, mentions of bland food, cooking, mentions of the french and reader is french, picky eaters, incorrect cooking terms (probs) // word count: 2.2k}
masterlist
Leah always mentioned Ratatouille around you, like a little disease that you could never shake. The little blue rat named, Remy, had become a staple in your household- even earning you a nickname based on the rat. She thought herself funny, with you being French and all- even a native Parisian, which apparently made it even more of a gag. One that you didn't enjoy very much.
You didn't get it- the film, while good in a general sense and clearly a children's film- had no idea of what a professional kitchen actually looks like and you liked to point out the serious misconceptions to Leah every time she forced you to watch it.
"Seriously, Lee- I have had enough of this film!"
You grumble when Leah once again picks Ratatouille to watch on your weekly movie night- this makes it twice in a row that she's picked this. Making you absolutely devastated that watching Notting Hill was being put on hold, once again.
You wonder whether revoking her TV rights on film night would fix the problem but then remember that Leah could do absolutely anything and you'd probably let her do it anyway. Even if it's a chef rat based torture.
Still, it's actually getting to the point that you remember practically every single line of the film and the plot never surprises you. Not when Leah insists on watching it all the time.
You don't even think she actually enjoys the film enough to watch it all the time either so it must only be to see your reaction.
"But it's so good- really lets me get the idea of what you do at work," Leah giggles and presses start and the obnoxious "French" sounding music starts to play.
You groan, "This is not what I do."
"Yeah, yeah, Remy- You do some cooking with fancy things, I know."
"Actually, I-"
You're about to correct Leah with the most attitude you ever have when she presses her lips against yours and you melt like butter in a pan. She knows that you can never resist her when she has her soft lips against yours and it works without fail each time- even when you're terribly angry.
Leah smirks and wraps an arm around your shoulders. In turn you sigh, knowing that there is no winning when Leah has her mind set on something or whenever she uses her ultimate weapon.
It's around half way through the film, when the famous line is said that you come upon the genius idea. Taking Leah through cooking something that cannot be made via a machine- a cooking lesson with the most inept chef you've met.
The words anyone can cook are true... to a certain extent- It comes down to personal opinion mostly, what does one truly classify as cooking? In theory, if making toast with butter was considered cooking then Leah was the expert but when it came to the taste department- that is where your girlfriend falters.
Before Leah, when you still lived in France, you swore up and down you could never date anyone with the taste buds of a five year old- saying that it was the ultimate deal breaker. Now here you are, dating a famous Arsenal footballer that has the diet of a primary schooler.
At first, it had come as a shock- you went to a restaurant on your first date (not your ideal place for a date but Leah insisted) and she ordered the plainest thing on the menu. You were in such shock that you double checked the menu to see if you weren't misreading because who orders chicken nuggets at a Michelin star restaurant? And why did they even serve such a dish?
It also happened to be the moment that you fell head over heels for Leah, so you learned to get over the food very quickly.
Yet, this was a moment to teach Leah a lesson in taking you seriously... or maybe at least putting a stop to rewatching Ratatouille every single week.
So you take a week to prepare everything perfectly, you plan out what you're going to teach Leah to cook, even survey your kitchen staff before opening with a little questionnaire.
Then you make sure that all knives are sharpened, pots and pans are present- even though you're the only one who uses them- and that all other additional equipment is on hand if needed.
After all the prep work, you go out to the market early on Friday morning to buy a whole chicken since Leah is most likely to actually eat it after it's cooked- you're against wasting food in any circumstance. Then circle around to the other side for fresh vegetables. Once you have acquired all that is needed, you return home perfectly on time.
It leaves you enough time to get your chef coat that you wear when working and find the spare one you had borrowed for Leah, then set out all the ingredients on the marble countertops. It looks absolutely perfect and tickles that ocd part of you brilliantly.
In hindsight, you should have given Leah a slight pre-warning as to what the two of you were doing today but the expression on her face when she walks in is priceless- so priceless, you wish you had recorded it, so you can show it to all her teammates and your co-workers.
“What’s all this?” Leah says, clearly confused as she drops her training bag by the discarded sneakers.
You fan your hands out, presenting all the different things across the countertops with a large grin- just as large as Leah’s everytime she picks Ratatouille over any other mildly interesting film.
“This, my love, is your cooking crash course with the best chef in London.”
It’s true, the London’s society of restaurateurs had voted you best chef for the third year in a row and you couldn’t be happier to flex it in Leah’s face. It’s your personal victory and you like to compare it to her Euro win with England- just to watch her turn a little red as she fiercely defends it to be harder.
You'd normally agree but maybe she won’t be so quick to correct you next time though because as soon as she’s in the white coat with you (and after you had taken a photo of her that will be posted on instagram later.) the two of you are off, cooking what you think is going to be the driest chicken ever.
“No- not like that!”
You’re quick to correct her, it’s automatic and you feel as though it’s a little harsh but this is payback for making you suffer through a cartoon rat cooking.
You place a hand on top of hers and you swear she blushes just a bit but you ignore it, instead guiding her hand to correctly dismantle the chicken into its individual parts. After helping her with one side, you watch as she tries to complete the other- and to her credit, it is not a total disaster. The cuts are a little jagged and some of the chicken looks more like it’s been massacred rather than taken apart but albeit still looks edible.
Then she looks up at you with proud eyes and you forget about everything for a moment- all the mental gymnastics- and focus on her sweet smile that warms your heart. You come a little closer and give her a kiss on the cheek, careful not to touch her since you've just been cutting chicken.
"You're doing so well, sweetheart."
Maybe it's an exaggeration but the blush appears on Leah's cheeks after it is completely worth a white lie.
"Thanks, Remy, I have the best teacher," Leah wiggles her brows at you suggestively and you roll your eyes in return.
"Well, I do have three Michelin stars to my name," You grin and Leah smiles back at you.
Then you add, "It's like having three of those golden ball thingys that you all pine after."
Leah's face drops a bit, "You mean a ballon d'or?"
Your face lights up and you nod rapidly, "Yes, exactly!"
Leah pulls a face and furrows her brows, "Okay, baby... maybe we should focus on the cooking?"
You nod and turn your attention towards the dismantled chicken in front of the two of you- You resist the urge to cringe and put all the different parts into a bowl that you then place into the fridge.
"Let's wash hands before the next part."
The two of you take turns washing your hands, Leah flicking water at you playfully when it's her turn and you frowning when she does so.
"Take this seriously, Lee- In my kitchen-"
"Our kitchen-" She corrects you.
You raise your brows in question, "Who uses it the most?"
Leah suddenly fiddles with her coat and looks anywhere but you, you scoff but a smile finds it way to your face anyway- then you wrap an arm around her waist.
"Whatever, just focus- as if it were a match!"
Leah chuckles but steps up to the cutting board where various different vegetables are laid out with one of your personal knives that you bring to work besides it.
"So what now?" Leah asks, evident confusion in her voice.
"I want you to cut the peppers julienne and the carrots paysanne."
Leah looks at you with the most confused expression you've seen to date when the French leaves your mouth and all you can do is sigh.
"Peppers thin like matchsticks and the carrots into circles, please."
"Now that, I can understand," She laughs and begins to chop the peppers, first gutting them and throwing the seeds in the bin beside her then slicing them into strips.
You're leaning your head on her shoulder and your arms are wrapped loosely around her waist as you watch what she is doing- Leah's fingers are wrapped around the wooden handle and she guides the blade down each pepper part with some kind of precision.
You smile and encourage her by giving a light squeeze that you feel she leans into-
"Focus, that knife can cut your finger off."
You hear Leah scoff, "Maybe you shouldn't distract me then?"
You don't say anything nor do you move your arms away from her waist instead focus on the way she's slicing the various peppers- somehow, Leah begins to stray from the very thin slices into thick chucks without even acknowledging it.
You smile, "Stop for a second, Lee."
Leah pauses instantly and turns her head to look at you from where you stand behind her, she raises a brow in question and you grin in return. Then pick up a slice of pepper, holding it up for the two of you to inspect.
"Too thick, darling."
You press yourself closer to her back, forcing her to face the board again- this time you place your hands on top of hers, they are slightly warmer than yours and the heat immediately spreads, then begin to slice as you had instructed.
The rest of the vegetables go smoothly and you let them rest to the side before taking the chicken out of the fridge again-
"We are going to bake the legs, use the bones to make a sauce with the peppers and boil the carrots."
You explain, pointing to all the different elements as you do so and all Leah does is nod before stepping closer to you so she can wrap her arms around your neck.
"Yes, chef Remy," Leah chuckles when you scoff.
She gives you a quick kiss that you so desperately want to deepen but she pulls away before you can. Instead, she turns to the board and looks at you with the same focus you see on the pitch.
"Alright, let's start."
The rest of the evening goes... as well as you'd imagine- the kitchen is thankfully still standing, but in a state of utter disarray. The sauce that Leah made under your guidance had boiled over after she turned the temperature up, so that it would "cook faster". You didn't even get the chance to explain that it doesn't work like that, when a blob of sauce landed on the floor.
So there was a large spillage of sauce all over the stove and countertop but that was the least of your worries since the fire alarm had rang... once... twice... and a third time when the chicken was in the oven. Turns out that Leah cannot preheat an oven to the correct temperature either- so that chicken wasn't even dry, as you'd predicted, it was just simply not even there anymore.
All the meat had burned into crispy back sludge and the bones smelt disgusting- so disgusting that Leah had to stand on the balcony as you threw it out. Stating that she would throw up if she had to do it.
It turns out that nothing was safe from Leah's horrid cooking skill since the carrots suffered a death by over boiling- turning into mush rather than keeping their shape after the plunge in the steaming hot water of the pot.
In the end, Leah and you end up on the plush sofa with white styrofoam take out boxes in front of you and the normally tidy kitchen left in a rather untidy state, much to your dismay- but none of you had the energy to clean on an empty stomach.
You're shoveling food into your mouth when Leah picks up the remote and you dread what's coming. You see disney being opened and the pit in your stomach turns into sickness-
"So... Ratatouille?" Leah giggles and presses play, you music ringing out of the speakers.
"Darling- No, please!"
#woso x reader#leah williamson x reader#woso imagine#leah williamson imagine#woso fanfics#leah williamson#arsenal wfc
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PLEASE, STAY

↪ ( ˶ a part of you wants to scream that yes, you did care. you still do. that you were just too afraid to stay. but you do none of that. instead, you do the only thing you're good at, you walk away. and he lets you. for mere seconds, he lets you leave— again. and then you hear him “don't you fucking do this again.” his voice isn't a plea, it's a command. for a moment, you think that he won't let you go. that maybe—just maybe—he'll grab your wrist, yank you back, force you to deal with this. but he doesn't. because he still wants you to choose him. and you never do.˵ )
pairing ᥫ᭡。richman!Gojo x bodyguard reader. they had a sort of situation ship before.
content ᥫ᭡。fem!reader, no curses au, they're both around 30, smut at the very end, very provocative gojo (?), mean reader ig, a lot of cursing, angst, oral sex, unprotected p in v sex, mention of blood, fights scenes, broken bones, pet name (mostly sweetheart and once baby), sexual tension, slow burn, explicit language, explicit content, power dynamics, military mention (mild ptsd), gun mentions
word count ᥫ᭡。13k
notes ᥫ᭡。this is for my 200 followers 🥹 thank you for all the reblogs they are very very much appreciated!! I didn't know where I was going with this fic lmao, I just hope that some of you will enjoy reading it! I'm always open to feed back :))) be mindful this is my first long (?) fic, I threw some stuff together and hoped for the best oops

you were assigned to gojo saturo. of all the men you could possibly protect, it had to be him— you're ex-friend with benefits.
you sat across from him at a table that probably cost more than your entire apartement, fingers twitching under the weight of irritation. the upscale place was dimly lit, the kind meant for quiet luxury.
“you both understood?” your superior asked, sharp gaze flickering between the two of you. Gojo grinned, the same playful smirk on his annoyingly handsome face. the past nine years had only done him favors, he'd grown taller— making him tall like a damn tower— his features sharper, his frame broader. 'maybe he'd been training' you thought. ‘or it’s just life sculpting him into something even more irritatingly perfect.'
you left him when things started to be serious. back then, Gojo had some difficulties to understand he was just a sex friend. but it didn't really matter, you had to leave for the military anyway.
for a long time, you didn't want to process feelings, attachments— that was just bullshit. and now, nine years later, somehow, you were right back where you started.
you retired from the military after sustaining severe injuries. but you still craved the thrill— fights, missions, the adrenaline rush. it kept you on track. like drugs, you were addicted. so you became a sort of bodyguard. over the years, you had protected royals, rich heirs, celebrities— anyone with a target on their back. it owned you the reputation as being the best in your field. you were ruthless, cold-blooded, killing without hesitation if needed.
your face remained stoic, your gaze locked onto gojo as he held yours. “yeah, got it. babysit the rich brat until the gala's over.” you mocked, leaning back against the chair.
satoru chuckled, he couldn't help but tease you “oh, come on now. you make it sound so boring” tilting his head like a cat toying with its prey. “i thought you'd be happy to spend some time with an old friend”
you scoffed. “friend is a strong word, Gojo” that response only fueled his mischief. “you're right” he crosses his arms as he continues “we were never just friends” insufferable brat. “i'm here to do my job. nothing more” you said without a hint of emotion in your tone, fixing him with a glare that should've shut him up.
it didn't.
his piercing blue eyes gleamed with amusement “of course, sweetie," he purred, resting his elbows on the table, leaning in “just admit you missed seeing my beautiful face.”
you exhaled sharply, already exhausted 'maybe a small knife pressed against his throat wouldn't hurt— just a little warning.'
“what i miss, is protecting some quiet person who knows their limits and let me do my damn job in peace. this, is what i truly miss”. Gojo hummed, shamelessly dragging his gaze over you “personally, i missed that sharp tongue of yours.”
“alright, enough,” your superior cut in, his tone serious— a clear warning that he had no patience for the ridiculous back-and-forth between you two. “stay close at all times. there are threats left and right against him leading up to the gala.” he turned his attention to gojo “you don't act up, and you listen to whatever she tells you.” the rich man was clearly enjoying himself “don't worry, i love when she bosses me around” he winked at you before standing up and leaving the restaurant. like this was all a game to him.
your superior exhaled heavily, already bracing for the headache to come. then, he dropped the next bomb. “you need to stay at his place.”
you try your best to keep a straight face. “what?”
“gojo is already informed. you're moving in tonight.” and with that, he left the table, leaving you seething.
your fist met with the surface with a dull thud. “damn it,” you muttered, frustration curling hot in your chest.
this is going to be a long, long week.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
you rode to gojo's house, spending the time to talk yourself down. you had spent years perfecting your composure. you had survived war zones, assassinations, and high-profile threats. there was no reason for gojo fucking satoru to get under your skin.
and yet.
his house— no, his mansion— was perched high above the city, a fortress of sleek glass and security. the driveway alone was bigger than some of the safe houses you'd stayed in.
when you pulled up to his gates, the night was well-advanced, the cold biting at your cheeks as you lifted up your helmet. you met some guards at the entrance stating that gojo was expecting you. of course, he was.
the second you stepped through the doors, the place smelled ridiculously expensive. the living room was massive, with a sunken seating area surrounding a glass-enclosed firepit. there are floor-to-celling windows stretched across the space, offering a panoramic view of the glittering cityscape below. a massive, curved staircase led to the second floor, the railings lined with soft, glowing, light strips, guiding the way up.
the place screamed luxury— unapologetically extravagant, but with taste. just like satoru gojo.
you sighed, rolling the tension from your shoulders as you tugged off your gloves. the ride had been long. your muscles ached. your motorbike uniform clung to you, slightly damp with sweat. all you wanted was a shower and some sleep.
“you're so sexy in that uniform” his voice came from above. you looked up to find him leaning against the railing, messy white hair, sleeves rolled up to reveal toned forearms, collarbone peeking through his loose neckline of his shirt.
and that goddamn smirk.
“gojo,” you warned, voice firm. he ignored it entirely, blue eyes twinkling as they dragged over you with zero shame. “seriously, bending you over in it wouldn't be so bad.” your fingers twitched. satoru in all his splendor.
“wouldn't be so bad if i curb-stomped you into the floor.” you respond. gojo restrained a laugh, eyes sparking with mirth. he fucking loved this— pushing your limits. “actually, i wouldn't mind that either” you grit your teeth at the comment. “just show me where my fucking room is."
when you reached him, he let out a dramatic sigh, “not even a little peck before sleep, sweetheart?” you blankly stared at him “alright, no need to look at me with so much love” he ironically says as he turned around, leading you to your room.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
4am. the digital clock glowed dimly as you pounded your fists against the heavy bag. you slept only two hours— which, honestly was decent considering you never slept well. the military had drilled into the art of light, vigilant rest, training you to snap into action as the slightest disturbance. and staying here, with gojo just down the hall, only worsened that already unstable peace.
“fuck it” your fist connected with the training bag, a loud thud echoing through the empty gym. you did a home tour by your own after gojo dropped you to your bedroom— and to your relief, you found a fully equipped training room. exactly what you needed to burn off frustration time to time.
sweats dripped down your temple, muscles burning from exertion as you moved with precision and force, the heavy bag jerking with each impact. your t-shirt had been abandoned long ago—tossed to the side as the heat from training built up—leaving you in nothing but sports bra and low-slung sweatpants.
“gojo, are you going to stay there for long?” you snapped as he stayed put in the doorway, thinking you hadn't noticed him those past fifteen minutes, arms crossed like he had all the time in the world. he grinned, unbothered “was testing if you could notice a threat even while distracted” you snorted “well, now that you oh-so-sweetly reassured yourself, could you fuck off?” your fist slammed onto the bag harder, sending it swinging violently.
you felt gojo's eyes on you, it almost burnt holes on your skin. his eyes darted at the sweat slipping on your back. “damn," his voice was low “i think i prefer you like this— hot, sweaty, breathless.” he insisted on the last word. your eyes flicked to his figure as he took slow steps forward. “i think i like you gone.” he clicked his tongue, tilting his head as if you disappointed him “why always so hostile? i could be way more helpful than that punching ball.”
you were too fucking exhausted for this, your next punch sent the bag flying so violently it nearly knocked over the weight rack. you caught it with one of your wrapped hand, fingers tightening around the worn leather. you exhaled sharply, preparing yourself to face gojo and his bullshit. “i swear satoru—” you stepped closer to him, closing the space between you. only to realize how stupidly tall he was up close. you weren't small but standing like this— with a solid eight inches between you— made you feel very tiny next to him.
“satoru," he repeats “it's been a while since you've said my name. say it again” he leaned in, eyes lazily tracing your lips, the small hairs at the back of your neck sticking to your skin, your full breasts pressed tight against your sports bra. a strong desire lingering in his eyes as he imagined licking every drop of your sweat. he tested your patience “you know,” he murmured “i really love this view.”
and that was it, you had enough. in no time you grabbed him, hooked your arm, and flipped his ass over your shoulder— slamming him onto the floor. before he could react, you were on him, your thighs straddling his hips, your hand wrapped around his throat. gojo eyes widened in shock— he did not expect that. but the surprise was soon enough replaced by a slow curl of his lips.
“fuck,” he chocked out “that was hot, sweetheart.” you tightened your grip around his neck “gojo, you're a fucking perv.” you felt something hard pressing between your legs. “i'm just a man." he lifted his hand, acting innocent "you kept bouncing around that bag, how could i not get some ideas?”
the worst part of all those stuff is that you were turned on by all his teasing. your panties dampened any time he made a comment over the little talk you both had in those past ten hours.
“gojo, you're a total pathetic man,” you mutter rolling your hips down harder, closing your thighs firmly around him just to hurt a little more. his pupils blown wide and his lips part sightly— that fucking bastard was loving it. “y-yeah, pathetic” he chokes out “i- i'm a- a very p-pathetic m-man." your panties were so damn soaked by now as his length presses sinfully against your core. you refuse to acknowledge the feelings, you don't need it, you don't need him, you don't need to go back to him.
you release his throat with a final squeeze, eyes heavy, dragging your fingers down his heavy chest— feeling the hard ridges of muscle tense under your touch, before you push yourself up and off him. you see his hips twitching up, as if he was chasing the missing heat of your pussy. gojo let out a broken— needy whimper, as you adjust your waistband and roll your shoulders back, trying to gather your thoughts. ignoring the aching pulse between your legs.
your feet leading you to the door. you throw one last glance to gojo, you can see his erection straining against his pants from where you stand, aching to be taken care of— gojo's features twisting in desperation. “be ready at eight a.m. We've got recon to do.” and with that, you leave him there, fighting the urge to go back inside and kiss him senseless.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the ride to the venue is longer than necessary with gojo whom insisted on riding with you. you should have known better than accepting his demand. he can not keep his hand to himself.
at first, his hands rested innocently on your stomach, but as soon as you took off, he let them slide lower, palm resting on your inner thighs— fingers tracing circles way too close to your core. the vibrations of the bike only make it worse.
at the next red light, you snap your hand down, gripping his wrist. “keep your hands to yourself” you warn him “either way i'll have to cut them off” his chest rumbles with laughter against your back. “what if i don't want to?” you hear his teasing voice through the speaker of your helmet “you're never asking about what i want, sweetheart.” his hands squeezing you through your pants. “i think i'm gonna kick your ass off the bike. go to hell that damn mission” your jaw tightened, ‘why does he have to make everything so difficult’
the light turns green and you don't hesitate to accelerate like a damn crazy— earning some curses from gojo, his arms wrapping around you, his thighs locking firmly against yours. once he accommodate to the speed, he's laughing, slightly enjoying the way you speed down the street like you're trying to outrun the heat pooling between your legs.
you parked in front of the luxurious hotel, one of the most extravagant hotels in the city by the way. the gala will be held there, a beautiful place— a perfect representation of gojo's wealth and arrogance. “gorgeous place, huh?” he muses. “maybe we should get a room after the mission, to celebrate our teamwork.” you swing your leg off smoothly, ignoring him as you unbuckle your helmet.
when you step inside, multiple people are working on the preparations— setting up tables, adjusting lighting, and fussing over floral arrangements. you walk straight past them, heading toward the ballroom where the gala will take place. the room is massive— high ceilings with floor-to-ceiling glass windows, multiple balconies. it's beautiful, but a logistical nightmare for security. too many places to hide, too many potential vantage points for a sniper.
gojo lets out a low whistle, walking a step behind, hands in his pockets— acting like a damn tourist instead of a man with an actual bounty on his head. you walk past the ballroom, letting him doing whatever he is. you head toward the back corridors, checking the service entrances, mapping out the security offices. The staff is too busy setting up to pay you much attention— except for the occasional glance at gojo, probably wondering if he's some high-profile guest.
then something shifts. a group of security personnel moves in, just a little too fast. too coordinated. you recognize the stance immediately— trained, disciplined. not just the hotel staff. your instincts scream at you, your feet move before your mind fully catches up— you step toward gojo to warn him…and that's when you see it. a figure in the hallway, gun raised. aimed directly at gojo's head.
your body moves before your brain processes. you twist on your heel, muscles coiled, and throw your knife. it slices through the air, and the second it buries itself deep in the shooter's forearm, he lets out a sharp yell, his aim faltering. it's all you need. you charge.
your combat boots barely make a sound as you sprint toward the shooter. you're on him before he even recovers, grabbing his wrist and twisting it outward— hard.
POP. he screams, his shoulder socket dislocating from the brutal angle, the gun slipping from his fingers. your knee flies up, slamming into his sternum. you feel his ribs shift under the impact, his breath leaving him in choked gasp before you shove him aside like trash.
“holy shit—” gojo starts, but you don't hear the rest as you see three more attackers already closing in. one of them lunges with a knife— fast, trained. but so are you. you shift sideways at the last second, grabbing his wrist mid-swipe. then in a brutal motion, you twist. his own blade sinks into his thigh. a strangled gurgle leaves his lips as he stumbles back, collapsing to his knees, clutching the handle buried in his leg.
suddenly you feel arms wrapping around your waist, lifting you from the floor. you snap your head back, cracking the nose of your opponment with the force of a fucking hammer. blood sprays onto your shoulder and the wall. your fast to slam your elbow into his throat, his air supply instantly cut off, his body jerking as he crumples to the floor.
the last guy is bigger, stronger— seems to be military trained from the way he moves. but that doesn't matter, you've had to deal with fiercer men before. when he's close enough, you drop low— leg swings out in a sweeping arc. CRACK.
his legs are ripped out from under him. he fall onto his back, gasping for air. you don't let him breathe, your fist driving down, once.
twice, three times.
the last punch bursts his lip open, blood dripping down his chin. your fingers wrap around his throat. you lean in close, sweat dripping down your temple, eyes heavy of the need to kill. “you fucked with the wrong person.” you hear a broken noise coming from his lung. you tighten your grip.
and then— clapping.
you whip around, chest heaving. and there stands gojo, grinning like the devil himself “well, well, well.” he whistles, stepping over the bodies of the men you just demolished. “i gotta admit, that was fucking sexy” your brain is still catching up, heart pulsing with adrenaline “what the hell is wrong with you?” you snap. “we almost got fucking assassinated.”
his grin deepens. “sweetheart…” he crouches down, tilting his head. “that wasn't an assassination.”
you freeze. you hope it's not what you think it is.
he gestures lazily at the unconscious men. “that was a test.” he lifts his shoulders, unbothered. “wanted to be sur you still got it” he winks, amused.
your blood runs hot. “a test?” gojo shrugs, way too casual for someone who just watched you beat the absolute shit out of four men. his gaze drags over you— knuckles bloodied, chest rising and falling hard— and his smirk only widens.
you don't think much as you launch at him, fury taking over— fully prepared to knock that smug grin off his face for good. but this time, he's ready. he catches your wrist mid-swing. “no, no,” he purrs, his grip tightening just enough to make you aware of his strength. “play nice.” your free hand grabs the collar of his shirt, yanking him closer “fuck you and your stupid games," you spit "i can't wait for this week to end.” you see red.
gojo's amused eyes faded into something darker. his eyes once playful, turn sharp, dangerous. “and what?" his voice is low, cold— jaw clenched so tightly it might break. "leave like you did nine years ago?” his face inches closer, his warm breath hitting your skin. “leaving without a second look?” your stomach twists. he's standing too close— looking at you like he wants to rip you apart.
your chest rises and falls sharply. your body is still burning from the fight, but this— this is worse. you rip your wrist from his grasp, shoving him hard enough that he stumbles back a step. and he laughs. an empty laugh, far from his usual cocky, full-bodied laugh. “that's all you ever fucking do, huh?” his voice is sharp. “run.” you flinch, ever so sightly. but he sees it. and he seems satisfied ‘i finally got a reaction out of her.’
"i didn't have a choice". you force the words out, voice controlled. gojo's expression darkens. “bullshit, you always had a choice.” he steps forward, and this time, you don't move back. if he punched you, it will be well-deserved. you wouldn't dodge it. his fist on your face would hurt less than the words coming out of his mouth.
“you just didn't choose me.” your heart stops, feeling something inside you cracks. but you don't want him to see it. so, as much as you hate what you're about to say, you steel yourself and let it out “what, you think i owed you something?” the words taste bitter, burning your tongue even as they leave your mouth.
gojo's lips parts, but nothing comes out at first. then quietly— too fucking quietly “no.” his voice is ragged, raw. “but i thought you cared.” you feel it like a punch to the gut. gojo never says things like this. he surely is all teasing remarks and well-placed avoidance but never is he a looking like you ruined him. like you destroyed a part no one could ever rebuild— except… you.
a part of you wants to scream that yes, you did care. you still do. that you were just too afraid to stay. but you do none of that. instead, you do the only thing you're good at, you walk away. and he lets you.
for mere seconds, he lets you leave— again. but then you hear him “don't you fucking do this again.” his voice isn't a plea, it's a command. for a moment, you think that he won't let you go. that maybe—just maybe—he'll grab your wrist, yank you back, force you to deal with this. but he doesn't.
because he still wants you to choose him. and you never do.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the ride back home is fine. if fine meant quiet, tense, and filled with too much unsaid shit hanging in the air like a storm waiting to break. then yeah, it is fine.
gojo didn't pull his usual antics— no wandering hands, no teasing remarks. just silence. his hands stay firmly on his own thighs, gripping the edges of the seat. and somehow that irritates you even more.
you can feel the weight of his gaze the entire ride back, burning into the back of your head like a brand. he doesn't speak, but his presence is suffocating.
by the time you pull up to his estate, he gets off the bike before you can even kill the engine. his movements are sharp, jaw clenched, shoulders tense. for a moment, he just stands there, staring at you, like he's debating something. you stare back, chest rising and falling with the remnants of adrenaline still buzzing through your veins.
but then, with a low scoff, he turns on his heels, and heads inside without a word. you don't follow. not immediately. taking a moment for yourself. trying to gather back your composure.
you stay seated on your bike, hands tightening around the handlebars, knuckles white. heart pounding like a war drum against your ribs. the wind bites at your skin, but it's nothing compared to the cold settling in your chest.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the next day is spent preparing for the gala. you go over the blueprints of the venue again, double-checking entrance and exist, every potential blind spot.
the chaos from yesterday has been cleaned up— not a single trace of the fight remains. the bloodied bodies have been taken care of, the shattered glass replaced with pristine tables, the blood smeared across the walls scrubbed away as if it never existed. as if it was nothing more than a fever dream.
you analyze the guest list, looking for possible threats. you argue with gojo about security placements, mostly because he doesn't take anything seriously. “take a look at this. tell me if you recognize anyone shady.” the tall man barely glances at the screen before muttering, “they're all shady.” you roll your eyes "that's not helpful." he shrugs, stepping toward the grand windows. “i don't really care.” that pisses you off. “gojo, could you at least pretend to care?” you put a hand on your hips, patience thinning.
he exhales through his nose, barely sparing you glance over his shoulder. and then, with a calmness that cuts deeper than yelling ever could, he says, “you're the one who didn't care, remember?” and that shuts you up.
he doesn't wait for your response, doesn't push, doesn't linger. just clasps his hands behind his back, taking a slow tour of the ballroom, his gaze dragging over the chandeliers, the polished floors, the extravagant decor— all while completely ignoring you.
the gala is tomorrow.
and you don't know if you're ready.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
morning comes too soon. you barely slept, torn between the looming mission ahead and the cold, unbearable silence that had settled between you and gojo. since that night at the hotel, it had been nothing but tension— thick, suffocating, unspoken. a battlefield of sidelong glances, clipped conversations, and empty spaces where words should have been. especially your words. words of regrets.
and now, as you sit stiffly across from gojo on his sleek leather couch, arms crossed so tightly your nails bite into your skin, it's clear nothing has changed. he doesn't look at you. he hasn't since that night. since those words left his mouth, cutting deeper than any blade you took.
your superior clears his throat, dragging you back to the present. his voice clipped, all business. “you'll be attending as a couple.” the words slam into you like a wrecking ball.“you're kidding” you say flatly, glaring at your superior. “no,” he says simply. and you hear gojo letting out a laugh. the sound sends cold down your spine.
“it's the best cover. gojo is a known public figure, and he's expected to bring someone. you, on the other hand, aren't on anyone's radar. it's the perfect excuse to keep you close and avoid suspicion.” you shake your head. “there has to be another way.” you bite the inside of your cheek, gripping your own arms as if that'll keep you from exploding. this is a fucking disaster. “there isn't.”
fucking hell.
how are you supposed to play lovers when everything between you is broken, shattered, and stitched back together with nothing but avoidance? you can feel gojo's eye on you, but you refuse to meet them. you already know what he's thinking. that you well-deserved that. that you were the one who ran away from him nine years ago, without any explanations.
your jaw locks as you finally risk a glance at him. he's watching you, studying you. blue glacial eyes pinning you in place. then slowly, he tilts his head. lips curling into a grin. “well,” his voice low, with something dark. “this should be fun.”
the moment your superior is done talking, you push yourself off the couch and stride toward your room, your pulse hammering too fast. it's too much.
the air is still charged, like static before a storm. even more now that you know you're going as a couple. behind you, gojo doesn't say a word. he doesn't try to stop you either. of course, he doesn't.
you try to convince yourself it's easier this way. easier to act like none of it matters. like the past isn't clinging to both of you with bloodied, desperate hands.
the second the door clicks shut behind you, you let out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. the tension in your shoulders lingers, pressing your forehead against the door. 'focus' you tell yourself. tonight is business, the mission comes first. it's not about him— not about your feelings.
you step into the bathroom, turning the shower knob. water rushed out, steam filling the space almost instantly. hot, scalding— exactly what you need. you peel off your clothes, letting them drop carelessly to the floor before stepping inside.
the first touch of water burns, but you don't move away. instead, you welcome it. let it wash over you, over your skin, over the lingering heat still trapped in your body from the way gojo looked at you earlier. your hands slide over your arms, down your sides, over the curves of your body, the pressure firm as if you could scrub away the past— him.
the water runs through your hair, down your back, down your thighs, and still, you can't shake the way your body remembers him. the way it still reacts to the mere idea of him. it pisses you off. your fingers tighten into fists before you force yourself to exhale, resting your forehead against the cool tile. you stay like this for a while. letting the water scald you, hoping it can burn out the thing still curling inside your chest, still whispering his name in the back of your mind.
by the time you finally step out, steam curls around the mirror, the bathroom thick with heat. you wrap yourself in a towel, sighing as you push the door open. as you step closer to the bed, you notice a box on your bed. black, sleek, expensive. your breath catches for a second, it's not hard to guess who left it. you approach it slowly, a wary sort of anticipation buzzing under your skin.
on the box, a note. a small, folded piece of paper with gojo's handwriting.
‘’ sweetheart, i can't let you ruin my reputation with those cheap dresses you own. i have an image to maintain, after all. a rich man can't have people thinking he's poor. wear this. — satoru ‘’
your breath stutters for a second. sweetheart. something in your chest tightens, flutters, pounds. you crush it, fight it. with steady hands, you set the note aside and lift the lid of the box— and you freeze.
the dress inside is breathtaking. it's a shade of blue so deep, so striking— the same as his eyes. you swallow, fingertips ghosting over the fabric. it's impossibly smooth, slipping through your fingers like liquid, designed to mold to every curve, to hug your body like a second skin. a dress that demands attention. you take it out of the box and immediately notice the back. or rather, the lack of one. the fabric dips dangerously low. with a sort of thin white belt that wraps behind your neck, fastening at the nape before cascading down in a delicate, tantalizing line. tracing your vertebral column. a seductive dress, yet functional enough to fight in case.
you return your attention to the box. your eyes widen as you see a pair of underwear. a soft filthy shade of blue, slightly lighter than the dress delicate and teasing. the panties are sheer in all the wrong places, practically see-through, the thin straps barely qualifying as fabric. offering little to the imagination. there's subtle glittering embellishments, catching the light just enough to draw eye.
just enough to drive a man insane. your throat runs dry. that fucking bastard.
you dig further into the box, only to find jewelry. a necklace so fine it barely feels real, elegant enough to steal attention. earrings that shimmer subtly, matching perfectly with the delicate bracelet nestled beside them.
everything about this is so intimate. you hate that your heart still reacts, that your fingers tremble slightly as you lift the necklace, as you let the fabric of the dress slip between your fingers. every single piece was selected with intent. this isn't just a gift, it's a statement.
gojo satoru is back at it again. back to his games. back to this push and pull. he's testing your limits once again. you need to show him, you need to keep your bold cold. mission. mission then next… gojo.
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
8:17 p.m. you see as you finish getting ready. adrenaline rushing through your veins. your hands move on mechanism, fastening the holster around your thigh before slipping the small firearm into place, the slit of your dress perfectly concealing it. since gojo is the host, there won't be any security checks for you at the entrance.
you allow yourself one final breath, steadying your pulse as your hand move to the door handle. tonight, your job is to protect him. nothing more.
you push the door open, and nothing could have prepared you for what is waiting for you. in front of you stand an anxious gojo, fixing his suit jacket, smoothing the fabric before his fingers nervously reach up to adjust his tie.
your breath hitches. the tie he's fumbling with is the exact same shade as your dress— his signature blue, the color of his eyes, the color that haunts your dream more often than you'd like to admit. his scent hits your nose, flooding your senses. something fresh, subtly spiced. it messes with your head, makes it hard to focus. his hair a little bit messy, like he's been running his hands through it while waiting for who knows how long.
and when his eyes find yours, everything in you freezes.
gojo stays still. his usual teasing remark falter, no lazy smirk, no arrogance. just… silence as his gaze consumes you. it's like the weight of the last few days of distance disappears, and all that remains is the way the dress clings to your body.
“i-” he starts. “that's…you- i mean,” he shakes his head, trying to gather his thoughts. he takes a slow step forward, his hand reaching out. you don't hesitate, taking it in yours. his fingers are warm against yours, his grip tight, like he's afraid to let go. to let you go.
he gently turns you, his eyes trailing over the open expanse of your back. he swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. “what's happening, satoru?” you tease “you finally dare to look at me, after all the ignoring these pasts days?” you tilt your head back, lifting your chin to meet his eyes. even in your heels, you remain towered by him, his presence overwhelming. gojo's eyes betray something deep— pain, maybe regret.
“sweetheart…” he murmurs, pulling you closer by the hand that holds yours. the sudden motion takes you by surprise, a gasp leaving your lips as your body crashes into his. “you have no idea what you do to me.” gojo growls softly. the heat of his body pressing against yours, makes you weak. you can't stop the way your breath hitches.
the word mission keeps echoing in your head. you shouldn't give in, not when he got so defensive, not when you still had walls built around you. “gojo,” you whispers as his eyes flickers to your lips. he leans in, his forehead touching yours, closing his eyes. “we need to figure it out.” he says simply. “give me a chance.” his hands grip your waist, molding your body to his. “tell me why you left, please.” his voice filled with a raw, aching honesty that make your heart drop.
your brain is racing at a thousand miles per hour, your pulse drumming in your ears. the connection between you two is palpable, undeniable. your hands go to the back of his head, tugging sightly his hair, making gojo groans. you breathe out his name, your lips just brushing against his “after the gala,” you murmur. “but let's go for now. we're running late.” you pull back but the heat remains. a pretty shade of pink creeps onto gojo's cheeks. the sight of it makes you smile.
you both reach the bottom of the stairs, and before you can move toward the door, gojo's voice calls out, low and filled with something close to mischief. “wait.”
you stop in your tracks, turning to look at him, and that playful smirk makes its comeback. he lifts your hands, then loosens his grip just enough to intertwine his fingers with yours. his eyes fixed on your face, watching for your reaction. “it's better like this,” he says, his voice mix of teasing and seriousness. “if we're playing couple, let's do it right,” he adds. you shake your head in disbelief, unable to suppress the smile tugging at your lips. “satoru, let's go now." he opens the door, the cold night air hitting your skin “i love when you call me saturo, sweetheart.”
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
the streets blur past, neon lights casting fleeting glows over his sharp features as he drives through the city. Gojo insisted on being the one to drive, choosing one of his luxurious car— not without making a comment on how it'd be nearly impossible to ride your bike in that dress but he'd gladly let you ride him in that dress.
the ride is quiet. not the comfortable kind, but the charged, suffocating kind. you can feel his eyes flicking toward you between red lights.
the hotel appears, tall and grand, its golden lights illuminating the massive entrance. unlike when you came checking security, the driveway is packed with luxury cars, men in tailored suits, women in gowns worth small fortunes. there're even photographers lining the barricades, flashes firing like relentless lighting.
despite your superior's briefing, you still feel nervous. of course you have attented events like this before to protect your clients, but never were you the center of attention.
suddenly, dodging bullets in a batteflied seems far less stressful than whatever the hell this masquerade is. at least, the car windows are tinted, giving you some more minutes.
gojo feels you tense up as he stops in front of the entrance. he turns to you, bringing a hand to cup your face, tilting your chin so you meet his gaze. “it's okay, sweetheart," his thumb traces soft, reassuring circles on your cheek. “i'm with you. focus on the job, okay?” then, with an easy smile, he steps out of the car.
the moment he does, you hear people calling his name, cameras clicking furiously. and gojo being gojo, steps out with that infuriating confidence, adjusting his cufflinks like he owns the damn place. pretty fucking bastard
gojo makes his way to your door before the valet even moves. he opens it himself, hand extended, waiting. and you can feel this is not only for the show. you let out a sharp exhales, taking his hand to get out of the car.
the moment your heels hit the ground, the flashes explode even brighter, voices pitching higher, demanding your attention. gojo's fingers intertwine with yours—firm, possessive—as he pulls you closer, leaning down just enough so only you can hear. “wanted to let you know,” his breath tickling your ear “knowing what's under this dress is no helpful to hide my boner in front of these photographers.”
before you can react, he presses a slow, deliberate kiss to your temple. then with the smooth ease of a man who knows exactly what he's doing, he lifts your hand to his lips and plants the softest kiss against you knuckles. “also, don't forget to smile.”
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
inside, the gala is exactly what you expected— crystal chandeliers spilling molten gold over the sea of designer-clad elites, laughter too polished to be real, and conversations laced with unspoken agendas. the air is thick with expensive perfume and quit power plays.
gojo moves through it effortlessly, magnetic as ever. he plays the perfect host, flashing easy grins and exchanging pleasantries with people you couldn't care less about. you, on the other hand, remain sharp, scanning the room, keeping your senses on high alert.
or at least, you try.
it's hard to stay focused when you're super-aware of gojo's warmth. his palm resting low on your back, fingers tracing lazy, absentminded circles against your spine. his lips graze your temple as he leans in, voice low with some meaningless observation, but his breath is too warm, too deliberate. a shiver runs down your body.
the hours stretch on, an endless cycle of fake smiles and calculated small talk. the weight of the night starts pressing against your ribs, exhaustion creeping in. you need a moment.
“i'm getting us drinks,” you murmur, pulling away from gojo's touch, ignoring the way your body immediately protests the loss of warmth.
“how thoughtful of my wife” he teases, lips curling into something wicked. you almost fall to the floor, headfirst.
wife. the word comes too easily from his mouth, like it belongs there. you catch yourself liking it.
shaking off the heat starting to take over you, you weave through the crowd, reaching the refreshments table. your mind still lingers on gojo, your thoughts are full of him. you're convince you need him. you don't want to run anymore.
a shadow of a smile tugs at your lips.
when you turn back— two glasses of champagne in your hand— gojo is gone.
your pulse stumbles. your breath quickens, eyes scanning every corner, every exit. nothing. where the hell is he?
you shove the glasses onto the nearest table, ignoring the startled look of a waiter. your training urges you to stay calm, but panic claws at your throat. gojo isn't just your responsibility. he's—
focus.
you spot one of the security personnel near the ballroom's entrance, a stocky man with an earpiece and a sharp gaze. you stride toward him, voice low but urgent. “did you see gojo leave?” the man frowns slightly “he stepped out a few minutes ago. took the private elevator up.”
your stomach knots. “who was with him?”
“not sure. a few men. well-dressed.” fury spikes through you. 'and that didn't alarm you?' you could beat his ass off if it wasn't for gojo right now. where did they find those incompetent men.
spinning on your heel, you move fast, heart hammering. the gala's noise fades behind you as you push through the discreet hallway leading to the private elevators. the display shows it stopped on the roof.
your pulse spikes. you slam the button. nothing. locked.
“fuck” you mutter under your breath. you don't have time to wait. without hesitation, you head for the stairwell, heels be damned. you rip the gun from its hidden strap at your thigh and climb two steps at a time. the adrenaline burns away any exhaustion, pushing faster.
by the time you reach the the top, your breath is ragged. hand tight on your gun, you push the rooftop door open just enough to see—
and your blood turns to ice.
gojo stands near the edge, bathed in city lights, his white hair a stark contrast against the night. the wind howls between the buildings, the breeze fluttering his tie— the same shade of his eyes, the same shade of your dress.
his usual carefree stance betraying nothing, hands in his pocket like he's discussing business over whiskey rather than staring down the barrels of guns.
four men surround him. they're dressed too well to be common thugs, but you know better—real danger rarely looks the part. one of them, a broad-shouldered man with a jagged scar curving at the corner of his mouth, has his gun aimed directly at gojo's chest.
your grip tightens around your own gun.
and then gojo speaks. “i suggest you let me go,” he drawls, voice laced with amusement. “or my wife's going to rip you apart.” he smirks “also, we arranged we talk after the gala, to make things clear, i don't think she'd be very happy that you keep me for the night.”
the men exchange glances, unimpressed. scar-lips steps forward, a cruel smirk twisting his scar. “you're worth a lot, Satoru Gojo.” a ransom situation.
gojo pinches the bridge of his nose like they're giving him a headache. “look,” he starts, tilting his head slightly. “i don't know who sent you, but this is embarrassing. four of you? to handle me? if i were you, i'd start running before she gets pissed.”
they barely have a second to process his words before you make your move. you can't risk any longer. and gojo is doing perfectly at distracting them.
one breath. one shot.
you step out. aim. fire
the bullet buries itself into the shoulder of the man nearest gojo. he stumbles back with a pained grunt—
and gojo moves.
he moves faster then the wind whipping through the rooftop. in the time it takes for scar-lips to turn toward you, gojo there. a sickening crack echoes through the rooftop as gojo drives his elbow into the wide man's jaw with enough force to send him staggering. without pause, he pivots, driving a brutal kick into another's ribs. the crack is sickening.
you react instinctively, ducking behind an industrial vent as one of the men pulls a gun in your direction. another shot rings out— gojo's this time. he moves like liquid shadow, disarming one of the attackers with terrifying efficiency. the man barely has time to process that he's slammed into the ground.
scar-lips, despite his disoriented state, reaches for his gun again.
gojo doesn't let him. he's on him in a blink, gripping his wrist with an almost lazy ease before twisting it violently in the wrong direction. the man screams, his gun clattering to the floor. gojo doesn't let go. instead, he leans in, voice sickeningly sweet. “told you she'd be mad.”
you freeze. you've seen trained fighters. you are one. but this? this is something else. the speed, the precision, the sheer control— it's unsettling. suspicious.
the last man standing tries to flee, you take aim and fire a warning shot near his feet. he freezes, hands trembling in surrender.
the rooftop falls into silence, only the labored groans of the fallen men breaking the stillness. the adrenaline still surges through your veins as you lower your gun, stepping closer to gojo, who brushes nonexistent dust off his sleeve like he didn't juts annihilate four men in less than two minutes.
“you good?” he asks, eyes flickering over you, concern hidden beneath his usual playful tone. “i should be asking you that.”
“what? you think a couple of suits can take me down?” he winks, but there's something unreadable in his eyes. something he doesn't want you to see. you don't press. at least, not now.
instead, you step forward, pressing your heel into scar-lips' injured arm. he yelps “so, who sent you?” scar-lips stay still, unwilling to say anything.
the other men groan on the ground, the sting of their broken bones keeping them from trying anything stupid. gojo sighs as if he's bored. as if this whole thing is an inconvenience rather than a threat to his life. he reaches into his jacket, pulling out his phone.
“you know,” he hums, tapping the screen with a lazy smirk “i could call someone. but they wouldn't be as nice as she is.” he gestures at you with a tilt of his head, his tone light, but his eyes? glacial.
scar-lips doesn't flinch. you press down harder on his arm. “fuck! alright, alright!” gojo grins like you just made his night.
“contract” he grits out. “someone put a price on your head. it's big. too big to ignore.” gojo clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “that's vague. who?” scar-lips looks like he's debating wether answering is worth the consequences. “not local”
“international” you press. he nods, slowly. “someone wants you dead, gojo. badly. all we got was a time and place.” his gaze flicks up to you, sharp despite pain. "and instructions to take you too".
the air grows thick. “me?” the man on the floor exhales “whoever hired us knew you'd be with him. they want you alive.” something cold settles in your stomach. gojo, however, laughs. it's quiet, then louder, echoing against the rooftop.
scar-lips looks at him like he's lost his damn mind. “what the fuck is wrong with you?” gojo wipes at the corner of his eyes like he actually found that funny. “man, you guys must be new do you know how many times someone's tried to put me in a body bag?” he leans in closer, voice dripping lower. “and not one of them ever succeeded.” gojo nods toward you, lips quirking. “someone wants her alive? buddy, you should be more scared of that than anything else.”
you glance down, they want you alive. that means whoever put out this hit isn't just after gojo— they're after something he has. the implications make your blood runs cold. but you don't have time to dwell on it.
one of the men on the ground— one you thought was barely conscious— lunges.
it happens fast. too fast.
a blade glints under the rooftop lights, aiming straight for gojo's ribs.
your gun fires before you think. the gunshot rings out, echoing accross the night.
the man crumples.
scra-lips yells, trying to scrambles back, but gojo's hand shoot out, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him up. “i'd be annoyed if this wasn't so damn prediactable.” his voice has lost its amusement. it's cold now. deadly. “you made a big mistake touching what's mine.” gojo's fingers tighten. for a second, you think he'll kill him.
but instead, gojo sighs—a sound full of tiredness— and his grip loosens. “i'd love to drag this out, but we have a gala to return to,” he says, and with that, he lets go. the man collapses to the ground, coughing violently.
gojo steps over him like he's nothing more than a discarded piece of trash. he reaches for your hand, gently pulling you away. “someone's coming to pick you up.” he adds, his tone far too casual for what just happened “be grateful. i called someone to take care of you, buddies. i only do that to my special guests.”
he slams the rooftop door shut behind them with a sense of finality, cutting off the chaos that lingers in the air.
as you make your way down the stairs, you abruptly stop, questions swirling in your mind. “what's wrong?” gojo asks. you meet his gaze, searching his eyes, trying to figure out what he's hiding from you. he steps closer "you okay?” you should nod. should brush it off like you always do.
but you don't answer, and you feel the weight of silence settles between you. it's suffocating, you don't know how to break it. so you shake your head. you want to ask him why he hired you. why he needs you when he could've handled everything alone. you want to know if there's more to this—more to you—than just being his bodyguard. the questions burns at the back of your throat, but you swallow it down, afraid of what the answer might be.
gojo's hand pulls you from your spiraling thoughts, his touch gentle—like always when he touches you—making you gasp. his palm cups your cheeks. “hey.” his eyes are full of concern, worried. his tumb brushes over your cheek, a fleeting touch, as if he's trying to ground you. you're not sure if it's for your sake or his.
“you're acting weird,” he murmurs, tilting his head. your throat tightens. “and you're acting like this is normal.” a short laugh escapes him, not a single hint of humor in it. his grip on your face loosens, but he doesn't pull away. “what do you want me to say?”
“i want you to tell me why,” the words come out quieter than you intended, but no less desperate. “why hire someone to protect you?” something flickers in his gaze, quick enough that you almost miss it. his fingers twitch against your skin. “you really think i need a bodyguard?” the way he says it sounds wrong—too light, too easy.
“exactly. you don't." your voice is unwavering now, the certainty of it strengthening you. “not after i saw what you did tonight. the way you fought— it was effortless. you're better than any soldier i've ever seen.” you hesitate, the memory clicking into place. ”better than me.” and now that you think about it, you remember your punch he blocked that night, back at the gala preparations. the sheer force he used. you should have realized then.
gojo is quiet for a moment. then, finally, he sighs, letting his hand drop from your face. the loss of his warmth makes your chest ache. “i thought it'd be obvious by now,” he mutters, looking away.
it isn't.
it's not obvious at all. and the fact that he won't just say it outright makes your frustration curl tight in your chest.
you take a step back, shaking your head. “well, as you can see… it's not.” you cross your arms, the hurt leaking into your voice. gojo's head snaps back toward you, eyes narrowing. “you overthink too much.” you scoff, anger bubbling up despite your exhaustion. “then give me answers. if you did, i wouldn't have to.”
his jaw clenches, and for a second, you think he's going to throw out some flippant remark, something to brush this all under the rug like he always does.
but then—
he takes a step forward.
and another.
until there's barely any space left between you.
“maybe i don't want you to know,” he says, voice low, almost quiet to hear. the words send a sharp pang through you. he's never been this blunt before— not like this. “why?” you whisper, almost afraid to ask, but you need to go through this. together. “once you know, you won't look at me the same.”
your heart clenches at the quiet honesty in his voice.
“satoru," you murmur, refusing to back down, “you dressed me tonight. you brought me here as your date. you even called me your wife.” your voice shakes, but you keep going. “and i was scared to lose you tonight.” the words slip out before you can stop them, raw and unfiltered, the weight of them hitting the space between you with unbearable force.
gojo stills. his breath is uneven, and his eyes—those brilliant blue eyes—widen just slightly. you close your own, exhaling shakily before continuing.
“i ran once. nine years ago.” your voice is barely a whisper now. “i was young. i was afraid. and it was a mistake.” his entire body tenses. “Satoru,” you open your eyes, meeting his. “i want you. all of you. and surprisingly, i'm willing to stay. to stand next to you. to kill for you if that's what it takes to keep you safe.” you pause, your voice thick with emotion. “i'm not afraid of threats. i don't want to run anymore.”
gojo looks wrecked. completely and utterly undone.
you step closer, pressing a hand to his chest, feeling the rapid, unsteady beat of his heart beneath your palm. “nothing you could ever say will change the way i see you.” your voice is firm “nothing.”
he swallows hard, his hands twitching at his sides like he doesn't know whether to pull you in or push you away— to protect you from people that would want to hurt you, only to hurt him.
but then— he breaks.
his arms wrap around you, crushing you to him, his grip almost desperate. his forehead drops to your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin. and for the first time, gojo satoru—the untouchable, unshakable man— trembles.
“making me go through all that," he says against your hair, "being irrefutable with me and letting me beat the hell out of four men—" his fingers gripping the fabric of your clothes like he's terrified you'll disappear. “it took you all that to finally tell me what's on your heart?”
you let out a watery laugh, wrapping your arms around him just as tightly “i'm sorry.” he lets out a shaky breath, his lips brushing your temple. “stay,” it's not a command, not a plea— just a confession. you close your eyes, letting yourself sink into his warmth, into the way he holds you like he's never wanted anything more. “i'm not going anywhere.”
and just like that, nothing else matters.
the gala, the stares, the whispers— none of it exists as you slip out through the back entrance, hands locked together, ignoring the world you're leaving behind.
gojo doesn't let go.
not even when he open the car door for you, not even when he slides into the driver's seat. his hand stays on your thigh, fingers warm and steady, tracing idle patterns against your skin. every red light is an excuse— an excuse to lift your hand to his lips, pressing slow, deliberate kisses on your knuckles, the pads of your fingers, the inside of you wrist.
you shiver, watching him through lidded eyes. “you're being soft.” gojo hums, a lazy grin pulling at his lips. “you love it, don't you?” and you don't deny it.
the drive is quiet, heavy with something unspoken. when he pulls up in front of his house, fingers still tracing slow, burning circles on you thigh, the weight of earlier comes crashing back. you shift in your seat, eyes flicking toward him.
“what were you going to say earlier?” his hand pauses for just a second— just long enough for you to notice. then, instead of answering, he leans in, his breath hitting your jaw as his lips ghost over your skin. “you really want to talk about that right now?”
the air is charged, thick with frustration and need. his lips press against the corner of your mouth— featherlight, teasing, but you can feel the restraint in the way his fingers grip your thigh. you tilt your head, giving him more access as a sigh leave your lips. “i need to know.”
gojo groans, low and deep. his hands move— one sliding up higher up your thigh, the other tangling in your hair as he pulls you toward him, his lips finally crashing against yours.
the kiss is messy, heated, all tongue and teeth and pent-up frustration. you don't even remember shifting onto his lap, only that his hands are on your hips, gripping tight enough to leave marks. his breath is ragged when he pulls back, forehead pressed against yours. your lipstick stains his lips, smudged, messy, sinful.
“you really wanna do this now?” his voice is rough, uneven. his fingers slip beneath your dress, brushing against your bare skin. “because if i start talking now, i won't stop. and i'd rather have you like this, falling apart in my hands. or my tongue. begging for more.”
your pulse is wild, but you don't back down. “satoru.” you lift a hand, softly wiping the lipstick from his lips. “tell me.” his sigh is one of defeat, his head falling back on the headrest. “i didn't hire you to protect me.” his voice is quieter now, raw in a way you've never heard before. “i hired you because i wanted you close.”
your breath catches. gojo chuckles, but there's no humor in it. “you ran from me nine years ago,” he presses open-mouthed kisses along your neck— wet, lingering. “did you really think i was going to let you do it again?”
your eyes burn with emotions— ones you don't have time to process because gojo's lips trail lower, his tongue flicking out, teasing, tasting. "being an influential young man got me some enemies. I had to know how to fight like a soldier— if not better. as the years went by, I became even more influential. and with some quick calls, I was able to find you."
“i don't think i deserve you, gojo.” the words spill out, breathless. gojo clicks his tongue, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze. his hands frame your face “sweetheart,” his voice barely above a whisper “let's go inside,” his teeth graze your skin “i'm going to show you just how much you deserve me.”
──────-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
you barely step through the threshold before gojo's hands are on you again, pushing you against the wall. his kiss is devastating, all-consuming, a plea and a demand in one. his hands roam, sliding down your sides, gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, like he's afraid you'll slip through his fingers again.
“you're killing me,” he groans, voice hoarse, “i need you. need to taste you.” your dress is barely hanging on, undone but still covering you like some cruel temptation, and that makes it worse for him. he doesn't pull it off— not yet. his fingers skim the fabric, then push it up, bunching around your waist. that's when he sees them.
your light blue panties— delicate, sheer, adorned with tiny pearls. the one he meticulously chose for you earlier. he fucking loses it at the sight.
“sweetheart.” his voice shatters, his breath stuttering as his thumb brushed the pearls, the fabric already damp. a pretty little thing wrapped up so nicely just for him. his hands shake when he presses his palm flat against your cunt, cupping you through the soaked fabric. “you're so wet. you wanted me this bad?”
you whimper, nodding, your knees already weak.
he drops to his knees so fast it's almost embarrassing. he doesn't even push your panties aside right away. instead, he leans in, kissing up your thighs— not just to tease, but to worship. his lips press against every scar, every mark, each one a silent promise. “my pretty strong girl,” he murmurs, his fingers squeezing your legs. “i will take care of them later.”
“satoru—”
his mouth finds the inside of your thigh first, biting down hard enough to make you whimper before soothing the mark with his tongue. then finally, finally, his mouth is on you. a hot, wet, messy kiss pressed right against your cunt, sucking you through the fabric of your panties. you gasp for air, your hands tightening on his white hair, earning a moan from him, an actual moan.
his tongue pressed flat against your cunt, teasing you through the pearls and lace. you gasp, body jolting, thighs trying to squeeze together, but he won't let you. his strong hands hold you open, force you to take it.
“f-fuck—" you breathe, fingers diving into his hair.
gojo grinds his face into your pussy like a possessed man. “god, you taste sweet even through this,” he slurs, drunk on it, his voice muffled. “missed having my mouth on you.”
his tongue dragged over the fabric, lapping, teasing, sucking, his fingers slipping underneath to pull them to the side. “Gojo—” your head slams back against the wall.
he didn't let you finish as he spreads your pussy open with his thumbs and buried his face between right into your core, eating you out like he was trying to ruin you for anyone else. like he needed to prove something.
it's sloppy, desperate, obscene.
he's licking into you with long, deep strokes, his nose bumping against your clit. his fingers dug into your ass, yanking you closer, forcing you to grind against his mouth, fucking his tongue with every rool of your hips.
“t-too much—” your body is trembling.
“been too long, huh? missed me eating your pretty little pussy?” sliding his tongue down to fuck into you, groaning when you clenched around him. you were so wet, so fucking wet, dripping down his chin as he worked you over, puling moans out of you that made his cock throb painfully against his zipper.
his arms wrap around your waist, locking you in place, forcing you to take everything he gives. his moans vibrate against your skin, needy, delirious, he's getting off on this as much as you are. “taste so fucking sweet,” his voice is muffled by your heat. “could stay down here forever.” he doesn't stop, doesn't let up— not even when your thighs squeeze around his head, when you're shaking so hard you can barely breathe.
your body locks up, pleasure tightening, so close it hurts. his fingers dig into your flesh, his lips wrapping around your clit, sucking just right, and that's all it takes— you break apart with a cry, shuddering, coming all over his tongue.
gojo groans like he's tasting something forbidden, something addictive, lapping it all up, refusing to let a single drop go to waste.
by the time he pulls away, his lips and chin are glistening, his pupils blown wide, his chest rising and falling like he just ran miles. your dress is still on, but your panties are pushed to the side, and gojo is a wrecked mess between your legs, staring at you like he's ready to die for you.
“come here.” you grabbed him by the collar, pulling him into a flithy desperate kiss. his hands scrambled to get his belt open, shaking so badly he barely undo it. “l-let me help,” you whisper, your hands brushing his as you pull his belt free, undoing his zipper. “i want to make it up to you” you look at him in the eyes “for running away.” your hands slide over his thighs, palming the thick outline of him through his pants. he's already rock-hard. gojo let out a pathetic whimper. “s-shit, you don't have to—”
the second you slide down his boxers, his cock slaps against his stomach, thick, flushed, dripping. “f-fuck—” he lets out when your hand wraps around him. he's so hard it must be painful, a bead of precum leaking from the flushed tip.
you dropped to your knees and looking up at him through your lashes “i need to, satoru”
gojo chokes “fuck— yeah, please—” with nothing more you took him in your mouth. his hands immediately flying to your hair, not pulling, just holding, like he needs something to ground himself
his entire body jerked as your tongue drags up his length, flicking over the tip before you sink down, taking him deep. tongue pressing against the thick vein running along his dick. you hollowed your cheeks, bobbing your head, your hand stroking the rest of him. it's slick and obscene, the sounds echoing in the hallway. your lips stretched around him.
“f-fuck— sweetheart,” gojo is a mess above you. a whimpering, panting mess. his thighs tensed, his whole body shudders. “fuck, f-fuck— too good, it's too fucking g-good—” he wants you to let you continue. he wants to watch you take him apart.
but he wants to feel you. it's been nine long years for fuck sake. he just needs your pretty little cunt wrapping around his cock. “i-if you don't stop— shit— if you d-don't stop r-right n-now, i'm gonna—” he grabs your wrists, and you pulled off with a sinful pop, lips swollen, eyes gleaming.
“bed. now.”
except… you don't make it to the bed…
you get as far as the couch before you're shoving him down, straddling his lap, gripping his shoulders. his cock is still out, flushed, leaking, twitching against his stomach. and your soaked panties are still on, pulled to the side, teasing him.
“reverse cowgirl.” you say, full of tease. his brain short-circuits. “w-what?” you don't answer. you just move, shift until your back is to him. you give him a full view on the open dress, the curves of your body, the barest glimpse of your soaked panties sill clinging to your folds.
“oh, fuck— ohhh fuck.” his head drops back against the couch. his hands finding your waist as you took his base and let your hips ever so slowly sink down.
you both are drowning. “t-toru— ahh, ‘s big—” your voice breaks. you forgot how fucking big he is. surely the biggest cock you’ve ever took. “th-that's okay, s-sweetheart,” gojo is hardly holding on, shaking beneath you. “you're d-doing good— fuck— your walls are sucking me i-in. i— fuckfuckfuck—”
inch by inch, you take him, stretching, gasping, feeling him pulse inside you.
sweat drips down your back. gojo leans in, licks it up. and then—
he loses his patience.
he grabs your hips, slams you down, and fuck, you both scream. his fingers are bruising, his breath wrecked against your spine, and you're already a trembling, cock-drunk mess in his lap. “t-toru— please—”
“shhh, sweetheart,” he pants, barely coherent. “let me make you mine again.”
he drags you down onto him, thrusting up to meet you, filling you so deep you can feel him in your stomach. “ohhh— fuuuck, toru—” your hands scrambling for purchase against the couch as you rock back against him.
“that's right, sweetheart,” his forehead pressed against your bare spine. “take me— please, take all of me.” he pulls you back onto him harder, a desperate, needy little sound escaping his throat when he sees the way your pretty blue panties cling to you, your pussy stretched around the base of his cock, underwear soaked. “s-shit, your panties— fuck, that's so—” gojo can't even finish his sentence. his hands slip under your dress, his fingers finding your hard nipples and pinches them through your bra.
“satoru, i—” you sob, rolling your hips, grinding down. “that's it, ride me,” he begs, his hands palming your soft breasts. “you feel so fucking good, s-so tight—” you lift your hips just to slam back down, picking up a rhythm, and gojo loses his fucking mind. his moans spilling out in rapid desperate gasps. “fuck, baby—”
his length throbs inside you, his hips bucking up uncontrollably. he grabs at you, at your dress, your thighs, anywhere he can touch, his lips pressing frantic, open-mouthed kisses along your back.
“d-don't stop— please— ohh f-fuck, please don't stop—” he sounds so ruined, so completely fucking gone.
somehow you grind down even harder, sending the poor guy's body jolting. he's straight-up choking, his moans turn high-pitched, pathetic, whimpering. “sweetheart, i-i can't— oh fuck, i'm gonna—” his voice breaks, shaking “i can't hold it— i can't, i can't—”
you lean back against his chest, turning just enough to catch the sight of him— his head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, mouth parted, his entire body trembling beneath you. “t-toru,” you whimper, tightening around him. “cum for me.”
that's it. that's all it takes.
Gojo slams you down onto him one last time, a ragged, broken cry ripping from his throat. His cock pulses deep inside you, his grip on you almost bruising as he spills into you, moaning like he’s coming apart at the seams. his chest rising and falling erratically, his entire body completely ruined.
and even as the pleasure fades, he doesn't let go. “you're mine. not letting you go again.” he doesn't give you time to respond as he suddenly grabs your wrists, shoving you face-down into the couch. “but that doesn't mean i'm done with you.” his body is still trembling, his cock still throbbing inside you, slick with both of your release.
“one round isn't enough,” heavy voice in your ear. he rolls his hips once, slow and deep, dragging his dick through the mess he's made of you.
your whimper is swallowed by the cushions, fingers clawing at the fabric as he strats moving again. his pace is slow at first, torturous, letting you feel every thick inch stretching you open again. then he pulls out almost completely—just the tip remained inside— before slamming back in, so deep your vision blurs.
“mhhh— satoru!” the force of it knocks the breath out of you, makes you choke on your own moan. his hands are everywhere—gripping your hips, sliding up your back, fisting your hair.
“look at you, sweetheart,” he pants, voice slurred, filthy. “so wet—so messy—fuck, listen to yourself.” and oh, you can hear it. the lewd, obscene squelching of your cunt sucking him back in with every thrust. it's dripping down your thighs, coating his cock, soaking the couch beneath you.
“s'dripping” he groans, pulling out just to watch the way your hole clenches, fluttering around nothing. your slick mixed with his cum spills out. glistening, pooling between your legs. “fucking— shit” he grits his teeth, fisting his cock, slapping it against your swollen cunt. “such a pretty mess."
“p-please,” you sob, wiggling your hips, trying to push back against him. you're so sensitive, already teetering on the edge again. “please what?” his grip tightens in your hair, yanking your head back so his lips brush your ear. “use your words, sweetheart. beg for it.” your brain is mush, squirming beneath him, but you give him what he wants.
“please— please, t-toru fuck me— use me. w-want you s-so bad— need you so bad—” his breath shudders “you're so hot,”
and he slams back into you, deeper, harder, faster. you scream, your arms giving out as he fucks you into the cushions. his pace is wild, frantic, desperate— his cock found your g-spot. hitting it over and over again. until you're body is nothing but raw nerves and white-hot pleasure.
“y-you like this?” gojo struggles finding his breathe, sweat dripping down his temple. “like getting fucked stupid? like being ruined?” you can't even speak— just babbling his name.
“sweetheart, im not gonna last— fuck, i wanna feel you cum again, i need to feel it—” he moans, he swears your cunt was made perfectly for him and only him. one hand slipping between your legs, fingers rubbing at your clit in messy, quick circles.
“come on— cum on my cock, wanna feel your cum all over me,” your whole body seizes, pleasure ripping through you so hard you think you black out for a second. you scream his name, back arching, legs shaking, walls clenching tight around him he nearly collapses. “ohh— ohhh ‘s gooood— wrapping around my cock aghn,”
his hips snap forward, his voice breaking as he lets out white long hot creams. he cums so much, it leaks out around his dick— balls.
for a moment, the only sound in the room is your ragged breathing, the lewd, sticky wetness between your legs, the faint creak of the couch beneath you. gojo breaks it with a breathless, shaky laugh. “you're a fucking dream,” he mumbles, pressing lazy, wet kisses to your shoulder. his arms wrapped tight around your waist.
“satoru…” you whisper his name, running your fingers through his damp hair. he exhales and lifts you into his arms. he carries you like you're something sacred, irreplaceable. something he'll never allow to slip through his fingers again.
"bedroom," he murmurs against your temple. “i need to love you properly.” your breath catches, a lump forming in your throat. this is different. you wrap your arms around him as he carries you through the dimly lit house, his body still inside yours, still pulsing, still clinging to every last bit of warmth you give him.
tonight, he took you like he was desperate. like he had something to prove, like he needed to reclaim you after all these years apart. but now…
now he's looking at you like you hung the stars in his sky.
when he lays you down on his bed, it feels like the world stops. like you both exist in your own universe. gojo hovers over you, his hands tracing over every inch of you. he maps your body with his touch, memorizes you with his lips, presses soft, reverent kisses over your skin.
and he pauses when he reaches your scars. trembling hands ghost over them, his expression unreadable. his eyes, impossibly blue even in the dim light, flicker up to yours. his fingertips linger on your scars, tracing them so gently it make your breath hitch.
“nine years,” his lips press over each mark, worshipping. “nine agonizingly years without you.” your chest aches. you cup his face, wiping the single tear coming down his cheek with your thumb. gojo closes his eyes, leaning into your touch like he needs it to breathe. “you don't get it.” murmuring it more to himself than you.
he looks down at you like you're everything. like he doesn't believe you're real.
you don't get a chance to respond before he's kissing you—slow, deep. it's not just hunger, not just lust. it's grief, it's relief, it's the kind of love that breaks you open and remakes you all at once.
when he finally pushes into you, it's not desperate. it's deliberate— he's trying to mold himself to you, he wants to leave an imprint of himself inside you forever. “satoru—”
“i know, sweetheart,” he kisses the corner of your mouth, your neck, your collarbone. “let me love you.”
you do. you let him take his time. let him move in deep, slow thrusts that leave you breathless. let him pull every last moan from your lips until your nails dig into his back. his name falls from your lips like a prayer, over and over again.
“feel that?” satoru takes your chin in his hand, making you look at him. “feel how deep i am? how i'm filling you up?” there's no rush, just the overwhelming feeling of being connected— having each other the way you were always meant to.
“toru, please,” you gasp into his mouth. “i've got you,” he mutters, nose brushing against yours. his fingers lace through yours, pinning your hands above your head, your legs wrapping around his waist, your body arching into him.
“you're everything,” he whispers. “you always were.” your chest tightens, you feel yourself shatters as heat coils in your stomach, winding tighter and tighter.
you're so full of him, of love, of longing, of everything you've spent nine years trying to ignore.
“i love you,” and it sets something free inside you.
gojo chokes on his breath. his rhythm stutters. his fingers tighten around yours. his lips tremble against your skin. “say it again,” he begs.
“i love you, Satoru.” his hips snap into you harder, pace remaining slow as if he's trying to commit every part of you to memory. “say it again, sweetheart.”
“i love you—” his body tenses, his release crashing over him at the same time you hit yours. his lips find yours as you both shatter together.
when he collapses on top of you, he doesn't let go. doesn't even try. you're still tangled together, still connected when he speaks. “i was serious,” you hum, sleepy, completely boneless in his arms. “about what?” his fingers stroke over your hip. “about calling you my wife.”
you tilt your head, searching his face. he's looking at you like you're his entire world. he's never been more sure of anything in his life. “i don't just want you here tonight,” he says softly, kissing the tip of your nose. “i want you here forever.”
tears sting your eyes, but you smile, brushing his hair out of his face. “then start calling me that now, satoru.” gojo grins— that beautiful, bright, devastating grin.
“come here, wife.”
( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)
#jjk fanfic#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer#smut#fanfic#jjk#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut#satoru gojo#gojo saturo#jjk oneshot#oneshot#light angst#imagine#angst#dirty talk#teasing#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru smut#gojo#gojo oneshot#jujutsu satoru#satoru gojo x reader
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question about time buddies cus im curious: 1) are they dating in the comics you make? they kiss and cuddle and be cute, but like are they together together? and 2) how did they get together, if so? like how did they confess? or did it just happen? basically im asking what are ur headcannons for how they start smooching? i lovelovelove all the time buds art youve made and the thought just came up that, well, theyve gotta start kissing somehow yknow?
Ohhh this is gonna be a very fun ask to answer where I'll pour a bunch of headcanons, so buckle up!!
I haven't yet settled on how I picture hearthian relationships, but I know that I want to make them kinda fluid. That is, relationships aren't strictly divided in platonic and romantic, it's normal and accepted to have crushes in friends, or to make out and sleep with people without romantic feelings involved. Each hearthian has their own preferences too, and since their population is quite small, there isn't a set standard. Some people choose to be exclusive, others don't. Some have many romantic experiences, others have none. For some, romance and sex are linked, while for others it is not. And since everyone is different in this regard there are not societal expectations on this, you can kinda go and try whatever works for you.
For hatchy, they are still figuring themself out and they were experimenting before the loop. They don't fully distinguish between romantic and platonic affection, the line is kinda blurred for them. Meanwhile, while Gabbro does make that distinction and they've have a few previous crushes, they're pretty open to making out with friends without the need for romantic feelings. Gabbro usually puts the focus on the other person's preferences, in that sense.
And so, are they dating? Honestly you can interpret them as you like, and I encourage people to see them as dating if they want, or not if they don't want to. You can even see them as strictly friends in some drawings and as dating in others, I don't really want you guys to follow my 'canon', in that sense.
For me personally though, I think that since they're in a time loop, they don't really bother with defining their relationship. They're the only conscious ones in the loop, they like to spend time together, they sometimes make out, but they arent technically dating, that label doesn't really make sense in the loop, right? From outside, I'd say it's close to a friends with benefits situation.
I also like to think that, in my post-loop comics, this relationship would start to get more defined with time, mostly because they're living back into a society and it kinda forces them to think about what they want regarding each other. I haven't thought much about the details, but I feel that although their dinamic doesn't change much compared to what they had in the loops, they do start having some 'dating' dynamics (they set limits regarding phisical affection with others, manage jelaousy situations, expect to spend more time together, etc,).
And in regards to your second question, how did they get together? I think that they become friends only after the loops starts (they never really hung out before) and they gradually become closer. Then, after the touch starvation and isolation starts becoming unbearable, they start smooching and making out mostly as a consequence of that absence, an attempt to search for that connection. This obviously makes it all the more intense and they end up kind of attached to the hip for a time (codependency my beloved). But again it's all kinda casual and very gradual, there is not a set moment where everything starts and they don't bother defining it either. It's mostly a matter of 'hey, this feels nice, let's keep doing it".
If I'm being honest I picture this starting as in "Next Time" or "Got Weird", thise fics perfectly capture the essence of how I think anything would start between these two in-loop sksksk.
And I think that's all? Thank you so much for this ask, it was a blast talking about all of this! I have a lot of headcanons for these two, and although I encourage you all to interpret my drawings as you like, I love talking about all of this!
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Flattery will get you anywhere😂
I started of intending to have Lee be darker, but really along the way, they flowed so nice together that I realized that even if he's a selfish man, he intends to be a good husband and I believe he softened when they started interacting.
Oh my god yes! I really picture her living in her own world dancing around the reality😭 I love what you said here! And he watches her so much now, building up over the years, no one else seems to notice this, they just judge. But he sees that vulnerability and the qualities she does have.
I think I wanted to make him even older but he's probably about 9 years older? He wasn't seeing her like a possible match right away because she was a teenager. He just felt some sympathy for her and noticed that she was actually well behaved and sweet. And then after a few years started to see her differently. He was early twenties when he helped her. Not as bitter and shady as he is when our story starts. He's just the kind sheriff that treats her nicer than the others. Also he's not pretending to be nicer, she brings that out in him. He just thinks people are too mean to her.
Now after, now she's in her 20's he's acting very nice...👀 Now he wants to pursue her😂 before their interactions were short and spontaneous. Now he's searching her out.
I definitely tried to make it seem that while she's desperately trying to go along with people, they are rejecting her for how she is. She can't help it, but they are sure to let her know she simply doesn't fit in.
And I love reactions like this because as someone often feeling like I was also not really fitting in, that I was different, it's so nice to hear that people read this and get it! 💕
She reads mostly romance, she's still very sheltered, so the smut is really vague and non-descriptive 🤭
But Lee in that library🥴 he probably never set foot in it before 😂 he's really trying to get in her spaces.
Okay so to answer your question, he's helped her when she was about 16 and then kept an eye out for her because he knows she's struggling and people are being mean. They ran into each other off course because it's a close community, but it's all fleeting and shallow meetings? So she did grow up with him but he was not constantly involved and he definitely didn't see her this way until a few years after. It started with him thinking she's just a good girl and then that she would make a good partner and then it changed in that she would make a good partner for him. And as soon as that thought sneaked in, that's when he really started looking at her differently. And he then was basically waiting for the right time to pursue her.
The chairs... Wel i noticed I can get really upset about changes that make no sense sometimes so I just changed certain examples but I can relate to that feeling. That chair was something she was used to, safe and now what was taken from her and she couldn't even really express her feelings because she knows they're "not normal" so whenever she struggles and tries to hide, well it doesn't really work. And those women are so brutal. I love everyone had the same reaction to these mean girls. It's so so relatable.
I just want to say that she feels bad for her parents but get parents do nothing but love and accept her, don't worry. But Lee is the first person to truly be nice and compliment her outside her parents😭😭
I really loved how he was trying to hint at her being the one to cure his loneliness and it flew right over her head. She's so sweet, but Lee needs to be very clear with her. I love those awkward moments where he's left unsuccessful lol.
Anyway you got me ranting as well! Because I love this story so much. And I really loved your enthusiasm, so thank you so much for reading and reblogging and the excitement because it means so much!💕
Dream Of A Girl
Part 1
Summary: The sheriff had his eyes on you for a while, the town's joke of an Omega. You never thought you'd find love, but around him you just can't help acting on your inner instincts.
Pairing: Lee Bodecker x reader
Word count: 3899
Warnings: Lee, small town gossip and bullying, neurodivergent reader, slurs\insult of neurodivergent back in the day, no cats🥺, turns slightly non-con at the end, Alpha\Omega
Notes: absolutely loved writing this, got really into it, I hope you'll enjoy it, and make sure to drop me a comment, I would love to hear what you think!💕
Series masterlist
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
He was watching you again. Inside his car, on his lunch break, slurping from his milkshake as his eyes never left your form. Your head was turned down, watching the pavement as you moved, yet you seemed to be aware where everyone else was because you never bumped into anyone. He noticed that about you. How your body moved almost fluently away from others. You didn't like to be touched. You flinched if someone did.
You were alone a lot. Listening to the noises around you, or he would sometimes hear you murmur to yourself. Sometimes you made strange noises if you were excited. He knew what they said about you.
They thought you were weird.
He didn't mind. Everyone talked about him too. Granted, he was a bit shady sometimes, with his secret businesses here and there, but it was something he had in common with you. Both of you fell outside of what was appropriate.
Of course, he was the sheriff, so no one dared to say it to his face. But they did to you. He had watched you for years. With your pretty hair, and that body…
He shuffled in his seat uncomfortably. You always had an effect on him.
He loved your eyes, although you barely look up to him. You do that. You glanced past people, or talked with your face turned a different way. Some people looked at you funny when you did.
But he knows why. Your parents told him once. When you got dared into doing something naughty. You didn't like it, but told him you had said you would do it before they told you what you were supposed to do. And you needed to keep your promises.
He talked to you sternly about how wrong it was of you, and you sat there with tears in your eyes. Head down. Like you had committed the worst crime. You were a good girl. Your parents told him that. It wasn't your fault. It was those kids. They thought it was funny. School talked to them. They left you alone. But you didn't make many friends.
Too different, too quiet, or too loud. You didn't say the right things, you didn't like the right things. You were too honest.
He liked that about you. He didn't need to wonder what you thought. You weren't two faced like all the other bitches. Who smiled at him in hope for favors, or in hope he would turn his eyes away from what they were doing. You were, you.
When you were alone, or thought you were anyway, your shoulders relaxed and he could sometimes see you smiling. Most times you would if you spotted an animal. Talking to it, like it was your friend. And you were good with kids. Really good. They flocked to you and you easily handled them. You didn't like sudden noises, and you were very clear about that, and they listened to you.
That's something people did like about you, they had no problem ditching their kids on you. You were a natural.
It was one of the things he noticed first about you. That drew him towards you. Your natural motherly instincts. He knew you would do excellent with your own. And the idea of you, one or 2 kids by the hand, belly swollen with another, made him rock hard each time.
God, you would be so pretty. He imagined your children; babies with brown hair, maybe a cleft in their chin, like his. The family Bodecker. You, all soft and sweet smelling. A ring on your finger. It made him come so swiftly once he touched himself.
He was happy no one snatched you up. They all couldn't look past your different behavior and see the gem underneath. They were blind to your qualities. What fools. But it worked in his favor though. Such a good, sweet girl. All ripe for the picking.
You were growing and seemed to not be aware of him. That was okay, he was fine with letting you have this time for yourself. Just out of college, young women needed to find their own way. He didn't want you to feel like you missed out on everything once he married you. That led some housewives to turn a little crazy, he saw it all the time, married at 18 or even 16 at times, high school lovers, and by the time baby number 2 was on the way, they looked worn out and disappointed in life.
Not you though. You finished school, you had a nice job, good parents. He gave you that time. He never was far away though. Watching you. Making sure you stayed out of trouble. Or trouble didn't find you. There weren't many boys to approach you, but those with eyes did, those who were too eager to be bothered with your quirkiness. He made sure to scare them off. He didn't need the competition.
He had a good job, a job that gave him power over this town, a nice house. He could afford a family. When the time came, he could convince your parents he was a good match. But most important was he needed to convince you.
📖
You walked into the library to return your books and pick up new ones. You came here at least once a week, often twice, as you loved reading. It was the time that you could disappear in a story and live a life you were never going to get. Experiencing all the emotions and adventures safely from your own home. Romance, and travels, fighting dragons or being a ruling Queen. In real life you liked things simple, but in your head you were free to do whatever you wanted. In your head people liked you. You belonged.
Lately you got very into fairytales again. Consuming every book you could find, rereading classics, daydreaming about the magic that was both wonderful and scary. The Alpha King, and Omega and the false mate, Sleeping Beta…they were all lovely stories and you couldn't get enough. You walked through the rows upon rows of books, feeling calm and like you were amongst friends. Here you were safe. Here you were liked.
Your hands occasionally picked up a book and read the cover, lost in thought. You didn't even notice the presence next to you, until a voice shook you out of your thoughts.
“Excuse me.”
You froze and looked up. Sheriff Bodecker looked down at you.
“Oh”, you said, stepping away.
He chuckled and shook his head. “I didn't mean for you to leave. I just wanted to grab this book.”
You watched him as he picked up a faded green book. He flipped through the pages. You hadn't expected him to read. You scolded yourself after the thought. You didn't know him. It's just that…he didn't seem the type. You heard stories about him. They said he liked the booze and he loved the ladies who gave it away for free. He had always been pleasant if you ever saw him, devoted to his work, but gossip still followed him.
Gossip was tricky, though. For years rumors went around that you were stupid. That you were rude. That you were mentally challenged. They didn't understand you. And you honestly often didn't understand them. Luckily your parents loved you and stood up for you. They might not always understand but they didn't punish you the way other parents would have. They didn't make you feel bad for not always looking them in the face. Or for being blunt and too honest. How your head was in the clouds at times. Or how people overwhelmed you sometimes. But other people, they didn't get it. And they didn't like what they didn't get.
You watched everyone around you making friends and falling in love. Easily getting through events you struggled with. They got married, and started a family. It was difficult at times, to realize you wouldn't have that, but eventually you accepted it. You were comfortable with your life. You had your family, and one or two acquaintances, and you were okay. It was nice being alone. Quiet. When you were alone, no one expected something of you.
You watched out of the corner of your eye how he assessed the book, before he looked at you again. “Do you know if it's any good?”
You glanced at the title like you had to think about it. “It's a little boring. But I don't know what you're looking for.”
“Just a little something to entertain me in the evenings. I was never much of a reader, but I thought why not read a book once in a while instead of always putting the telly on, ya know?”
You nodded. “What genre are you interested in? Action? Or mystery.”
“Romance.”
You blinked. “Romance,” you quietly repeated. You're eyes gliding past the titles of books and thinking to yourself.
“I don't mind it being a little…naughty, might motivate me even more to be honest,” he chuckled.
Your cheeks heated, but you tried not to show any signs of your discomfort. A heated romance. Of course you could list a few, but it felt awkward sharing that with him. You hummed softly under your breath, more out of nerves than anything, but you grabbed a book eventually. “A little naughty, and definitely romance,” you told him.
He hummed and turned the book in his hands. “Thank you, I didn't know where to start.”
“The librarians are happy to help if you can't find anything.”
“Yes, I'm sure they are, but you seem like you know more about this stuff.”
Maybe you did. Maybe it was easier to approach a visitor than the strict ladies running this place? You continued your search, but he did not leave.
“Don't you have enough books?”
You frowned. How could anyone have enough books? And why was he criticizing you? “I like reading.”
He laughed. “ No, I can see that, but do you really read all these in a week?”
“No. Sometimes I read them in a few days.”
“Oh, really. Okay. That's impressive. I really need to catch up if I were to compete with you.”
“It's not a competition. You can read how you want.”
“Oh I know, I was just joking.”
It wasn't a very good joke in that case. “Oh.” You thought, then replied. “Do you need anything more?”
There was silence, then he answered awkwardly. “No, you helped enough.”
You nodded.
He said your name quietly and when he didn't continue, you looked to the side at him. Your eyes locked and you blinked before you looked away.
“Tell your parents hello from me, will you?”
You nodded. You would, if you remembered.
He walked away and you were left feeling a little weird about the whole conversation. Sheriff Bodecker, reading a romantic book. It seemed a little silly. But maybe he was a little lonely. He was unmarried and didn't seem to be in a hurry to get settled.
He asked for something a little naughty, though. If he wanted anything naughty he should've gone to a different section of the library. They had a few of those, although most people didn't dare to pick them up and give the ladies anything to gossip about. Sheriff Bodecker, with a naughty book. You smiled to yourself. It would be the talk of town.
🤎
You wrapped your scarf around your neck, it was a little chilly today. Maybe you were just tired. It had been a long day at work today, your hands were cramped from all the typing, and your colleagues had left you feeling a little upset. Normally you tried to not listen to their chatter and ignore if they were ever negative about you. But today…they had stood a little nearer and you had more trouble filtering their voices.
They had talked about Marcie, who had found herself a beau. If only it had stayed about Marcie, it would have been fine. But they had looked over at you and pretended to lower their voices.
“Spinster”, they had used. They giggled slightly during it. You pretended not to see them staring at you. Or how they didn't care if you heard it.
“She’s never going to find anyone, I mean did you hear her talk about the different office chairs to mr. Johnson? One would think she had to sit on spikes.
You bit your lip. You did not want to cry in front of them. They had changed the chairs two days ago, the old ones too worn out to be pleasant. But you had liked them. You were used to them. And it felt like an old friend had been ripped away from you. So you had talked to your boss if he could make an exception, if you could keep yours, and store the new one. But of course he hadn’t wanted to. And you admittedly got a little upset. Word got out, or maybe they heard you. You had cried on the toilet, but tried very hard to gather yourself and continue like nothing was wrong. It didn’t matter. They knew. And they thought you were crazy.
And now they kept bringing other things up in their conversations. Like they enjoyed your discomfort.
You did your job well, however, so you were pretty sure if you laid low for a while, mr. Johnson wouldn’t fire you. You always made sure to finish all your work, even if you had to stay longer. Got the job done.
But now, at the end of the work day, you felt exhausted. It was tiresome keeping up pretense. The constant noise of the workplace around you. A short break to try and relax and be alone wasn't enough. You knew maybe things would be easier if you sat with them and told them things you heard, so they could gossip about someone else for once. But you didn’t like them. And they were too much. You needed your break to rest before getting back to work. You often sat outside on a bench alone, or took a walk.
You took a deep breath. Tonight you were going to read your new book, and ask your daddy if he wanted to play the piano. He didn’t do it as often as he used to, but you always enjoyed his music. He would do it for you, you knew it.
As a single Omega, you still lived with your parents. It was common to do so. You couldn’t live alone with your designation and it didn’t seem like you would ever move out and get your own home to look after. Your parents were disappointed, no doubt, but they always assured you they loved you, and that it would be nice in their old day to spend it with the three of you. You wondered if they had a different child than you, if they had wanted to get another. Someone easier to handle.
You walked past the shops, occasionally looking through the windows. You liked window shopping. Seeing all the new things on display, even if you didn’t buy much. You didn’t need it. But sometimes you saw something pretty and pondered if you should get it. You should buy a new dress. Most of the ones you had were getting a little old. But they were so comfortable and new dresses felt a little tight and rough. Perhaps your mother would buy some fabric and sew one for you. She knew your tastes.
A car honked next to you and you startled. When you looked around with a beating heart you noticed the car of the sheriff. He had rolled down his window and called out to you.
“Sorry, little lady, didn’t mean to scare you. I saw you walking and thought maybe you wanted a ride home?”
You blinked. A ride with the sheriff. You had never done that. “I’m fine walking.” You replied and tried to smile.
“You just look tired, is all. And it is going to rain soon.”
Was it? You didn’t feel much like getting wet. Still, this was weird. Different. What were you even going to say to him?
He opened the door from the inside though, clearly expecting you to get in, and you didn’t want to be rude. He meant well.
You clambered in, fixed your dress and your hair.
“Long day?” he mentioned. “You look tired.”
“Yes.” you answered.
“I get that, I’ve been busy since 5 this morning myself.” he sighed. “Got a call in for a robbery. Those damn Callen boys always stealin’ them chickens from the Bookers farm. Not exactly the most exciting job.”
You blinked, thought of how to reply. “Did you get them back?”
He chuckled. “Well some of ‘em. They ate at least two, but I arranged for them to work a few weeks at the place to pay them back. And I'll make damn sure they're going to show up and do the work.”
You nodded. The Bookers were cheapskates, but a theft was a theft, and you were sure they enjoyed the free labor. Those chickens couldn't be worth that much.
“You look nice today,” he mentioned suddenly.
You looked down at your dress. A little frayed around the edges. Your hair must've been less than proper because you tended to play with it if you were in thought. Maybe he was being nice. “Eh, thank you,” you mumbled.
He hummed. “That dress is a nice color.”
“Blue is my favorite,” you blurted out. You wore red today, you didn’t know why you said it.
He chuckled. “Is that right? Well I love blue.”
Your eyes looked anywhere but him, at the passing buildings and bushes. What else were you going to say? It was polite to talk back, your mother had told you. Ask about something!
“Ehm, this is a nice car,”
He turned to look at you again, not keeping his eyes on the road and you swallowed. “Well, it comes with the job, but it does its work.”
You nodded.
“Do you know how to drive?”
“Oh no. No, no. I do not.”
“I could teach you.” he offered, and your heart rate increased.
“No!...no. I don't think I can, I get nervous.”
“Well everyone gets nervous the first time, but you’ll learn soon enough, you’re a clever girl.”
You blinked at him. No one had ever called you clever before. You weren’t stupid, you werent, but no one thought you were particularly bright. “I get nervous.” you told him firmly.
He hummed “Well alright, If you change your mind, I'm more than willing.
“I don't mind walking.” you told him.
“Yeah, I see you walking around. You like looking at things don’t you?”
You looked down, ashamed, but his finger lifted your chin. You startled at the contact.
“Wasn't mocking you. I just see you sometimes. Gotta keep an eye on the crowd to make sure nothing happens, part of the job, I can’t help it. So I see you walking and befriending the neighbors cats.”
“Oh.” You didn't know what to think of this. Being watched. You always felt like you were. “I like cats.”
“I like them too. They’re a little feisty. You got one at home?”
You shook your head. “No, my parents don’t want one.”
“I was thinking about getting one. Might be nice to come home to something, you know? House is all empty.”
You understood. You’re parents rules, however, nothing you could do about it.
He sighed “ Yeah…. gets real lonely for a man by himself. You got someone waiting on ya?”
“Eh no. No, no one.” You felt nervous. You knew it was common for a girl your age to settle, or have settled already. It was embarrassing to admit.You had never even kissed before.The thought of it made you anxious though, How to even do that with a tongue, and how to move? It seemed mighty complicated.
“Me neither,” he admitted. “It’s a hard job, and not everyone can deal with being the wife of a sheriff. I’d treat her right, though. Yessir. I’d be a good husband. For the right woman. I always wanted that. A house, a wife, some kids. A nice meal when I get home…”
You hummed, like he had done before.
"You can cook?”
Your eyes moved rapidly over the car interior. “Why, yes?” it came out as a question.
“Yeah I expected you to. You’re a good girl after all. Momma raised you right.”
You felt warmth shoot through you. You didn’t know why. He was being nice. And you weren’t used to that. You actually were a pretty good cook. And you liked doing it. Relieving your mother from the hard work running a household was. And showing you cared. You know you weren’t always good with that. Often absorbed in your own head and your own feelings. So cooking was something you could do.
“Would love to have a home made meal again. It’s been so very long.”
You nodded.
He eyed you. And as the silence lingered he tsked. “Well, who knows, maybe someone will invite me someday.”
“Oh. Yes. I'm sure,” you were quick to agree. It would be nice for him. Someone cooking. Maybe Miss Oleson would, the woman was all alone and about 70, she probably would love the company.
You would ask her, so he wouldn't feel embarrassed. Miss Oleson would watch you sometimes when you were younger, and she was kind to you. She always gave you candy even if your parents had told her not too. You were fond of her.
You arrived at your house soon and you got out. He leaned towards the window again.
“If you want, I can come pick you up again tomorrow.”
You blinked. Why? Was it going to rain again tomorrow?
“You don’t have to.”
“It’s my pleasure.” he grinned. “Unless i’m being called away, but if so, I’l call you.”
“I don’t have a phone.” You eyed the laces of your shoes.
He laughed. “No silly, at your office, I can call the company.”
“Oh. Yeah that would work. I guess.”
“That’s settled then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” you mumbled and turned to walk towards the door.
As you heard him leave behind you, you suddenly remembered you hadn’t said goodbye, or thanked him. You felt your cheeks heat. You were supposed to thank someone for helping. You messed up again. Tomorrow, when he picked you up, you would make sure to thank him then. Maybe he wouldn’t think you rude anymore. And maybe you should find some questions to ask him about. So he didn’t ask you weird ones when there was silence.
You hung up your coat at the door, suddenly smelling a nice scent coming off it.
The fabric had absorbed some of his that lingered in the car. You sniffed carefully and then reared back in shame. It was kind of improper to just smell someone. You only did that to someone you knew better. Like family, or…or a suitor.
Still, the scent lingered in your nose as you walked away, and it was pleasant enough for you to feel a little lighter for the rest of the evening.
Part 2
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Life is Full of First Times
Hotch x inexperienced!reader full fic!
Warnings: Smut, oral (m and f receiving), grinding, petnames (sweetheart, honey, princess), inexperienced reader, reader is slightly insecure from lack of experience in bed, p in v sex, multiple orgasms, vaginal fingering, Hotch asks if r is okay multiple times, unprotected sex, one use of y/n. I think I got most of them but let me know if I missed anything!
Word count: 7.3k
Pairing: Hotch x inexperienced!fem!reader
A/n: This fic is FINALLY finished. This is going to be my celebration of 1k followers!! Thank you so much to everyone following 🥹💖. And thank you for being patient with me on getting this fic done, I've just never written something so long before! I hope this fic is enjoyed <3. I tried very hard on this 🥹💞.
Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @criminalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch @canuck-eh @luvehotch @callm3c0nfus3d @ivyflowers13 @xgreysiconss @bernelflo @mrsmorganprentiss
Hotch tags: @14buddy22 @htchnr @pastelpinkflowerlife
Tags for this specific post: @hotchspearl @sky2nd @xgreysiconss @justyourusualash @howabouticallyou @queenofvelaris @fifiandtheflowertotsss @littleslaywrites
Let me know if you want to be added to my tags 🫶
*This post is NSFW MDNI*
You have waited for so long. It has moved very very slowly in this area of the relationship. Hotch has been waiting for you for a few months now. He has never been impatient but he still thinks about all of the things he'd love to do and ways he wants to make you feel good. And he doesn't tell you about these things unless you ask because he never wants you to feel like you have to move faster if you're not ready yet.
It goes from snuggling up with soft kisses, to making out and letting your tongues slip out to explore, and one night it gets to you on his lap and his hands on your hips as your hands wander over his body. Mostly his chest, stomach, shoulders, and arms. And then you can't help but rock your hips a few times, testing things out a little bit. You can feel his hands tighten their hold on you and you do it again, earning a groan from him.
Now he's really struggling to not get hard beneath you because again, he doesn't want you to feel pressured to do more than you're comfortable with. He doesn't want you to feel like you have to help him out, because you don't have to do anything. But that feeling in your lower belly is starting to burn and demand more.
The kissing becomes sloppy and messy, mixed saliva coating your puffy lips and his too, a string of it stretching when you pull away for just a second before your mouth finds his neck and throat. Aaron's chest shakes when he tries to take a deep breath to calm himself down.
"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" His voice comes out raspy and low right in your ear and it makes your insides burn even hotter somehow.
"I just....I need more. Just this. It feels good like this, Aaron. Are you okay with this?" You ask him, unsure of if you have crossed a line or not. You remember him telling you that he is ready for anything you are, but maybe he changed his mind. You stop your movements and look into his eyes, but his hands just move to help your hips start grinding against his again.
"I'm fine with anything you want to do, honey, you know that." Aaron's hands rub affectionately at your sides and your hips. The soft smile on his face and the amount of love for you showing in his eyes could make your heart melt.
You return his smile before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his warm lips, your arms wrapping around his neck as you do so. You part your lips just enough to capture his bottom one between your teeth and then you pull back slowly, releasing his puffy lip from your mouth. It was enough to make his pupils look blown with lust, but he keeps himself in line. He'll never understand why he likes that so much, but it didn't take long for you to figure it out even with your lack of experience in every area of relationships. You see Aaron's Adam's apple bob when he swallows thickly. He likes being caught between your teeth. A grin spreads over your face.
You start rocking your hips again and his grip tightens on them like it had before. You struggle to find the right rhythm, but Aaron helps guide you.
"Am....am I doing it right?" Your voice sounds shy and hesitant, like you're embarrassed to ask him.
"Does it feel good, sweetheart?"
You just nod and press your forehead against his. He plants another soft kiss on your lips before speaking again.
"Then you're doing it right, princess. If you're feeling good, that means you're doing just fine. And if you need me to help you, just tell me." His hand comes to press on your lower back, pushing you slightly and helping you grind on his cock that he has finally allowed to get hard.
It makes you whine and he smirks. His other hand comes up to hold the back of your head, keeping your forehead pressed to his. This is something he's dreamed of and now that he finally has it, he's going to memorise every sound, every movement, every twitch in your expression as you figure out what feels good.
You're both still wearing your clothing from work and he's desperate to get both yours and his off, but he keeps letting you go at your own pace. You’re so wet that you almost decide to get naked and ask him to take you, but you don’t. You’re not ready for that yet, even if your body is begging for him.
You keep rocking your hips steadily, Aaron helping you whenever your hips stutter and lose rhythm again. This continues until you both climax, still fully clothed. Aaron immediately apologises, like you hadn’t also just moaned his name as you came right before him. That’s what had sent him over the edge. He tried so hard to keep some of the composure he had left, but he couldn’t hold it back any longer. Not when his name sounded like honey as it fell from your lips again and again. So he was left sitting in his slacks with his cum sticking to his skin.
You both cleaned up after that. You felt a little embarrassed but Hotch assured you that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. He told you that it was perfectly fine and that he didn’t mind anything that had happened. During it he asked if you were alright or if you felt like you wanted to slow down at all, but he had also asked you after you’d both finished. He asked to make sure you were also okay with what had happened or if you wanted to take a break from the hot makeout sessions for a little while.
You shyly told him that no, you didn't want to stop making out with him like that and that you also really enjoyed what happened that evening. The little smile on his face sent butterflies through your stomach in a different way than before. It makes you happy.
Aaron stays over that night. He holds you all night long and you both find sleep easily after your previous activities took away the last bit of energy you both had after a long day at the BAU.
It eventually moved to you and Aaron being in bed together one night, making out having started everything once again. You took your top off and Aaron was mesmerised by what he was able to see now. He hadn’t seen your boobs yet and he was immediately obsessed with the soft skin and asked if he could touch them. You nodded and asked him to do it. He started with massaging them gently before taking one of your nipples into his mouth and suckling on it as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers. Your moans were the most beautiful symphony in his ears. He loves making you feel good.
“Do you like this? Do you want me to keep going or should I try something different?” Aaron murmurs against your skin and he trails open-mouthed kisses between your breasts.
“You can keep going. I like it.” You hold his head in your hands and guide him to suck on your other nipple now and your hips jolt up against his when he gives your peak the attention it wants. Aaron goes with it and obeys. He likes helping you figure these things out so much and you love to let him. He has had so much patience with you. Which is the bare minimum, but some guys wouldn’t want to wait as long as you want. Aaron would wait until the end of the world if he had to.
Once you’re ready to move on, Aaron begins trailing more kisses down to your stomach and then to your abdomen and your hips. The heat is really starting to pool now and you feel like you need to have him. But then you get nervous.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
His head pops up fast and he halts his actions to ensure your comfort.
“I was just working you up to…to go down on you, sweetheart. Unless you don’t want that. It’s whatever will make you feel good, princess.” He rubs your thigh affectionately like he normally does in these situations where you’re both exploring new territory and he wants to help ease any of your worries or doubts.
“Well I don’t really know if…if I like it. I haven’t gone that far with someone that…actually wanted to do it.” You’re shy about your admission. Of course he knows about your lack of experience, you told him early on. It bothers him that the only person to ever be with you sexually at all, once, didn’t even bother to take care of your needs. You just took care of theirs. You told Aaron most of it. Sparing certain details, of course.
“Can I help you figure out if you like it, sweetheart? Or do you want to slow down for now?” The repeated motion of his hand on your thigh is absentminded and natural at this point. Your hips shift a little bit at the thought of him eating you out. You’ve thought about that a lot more than you would care to admit, but Aaron probably knows that somehow anyway. That big smart brain of his. He notices the shift, he knows you want to but he also knows that your nerves are getting to you.
“I…I want to. I’m just…too nervous.”
“We won’t do anything you aren’t ready for, honey. You say stop at any point and we stop. Do you want to stop, baby?” He is so soft spoken and all you can do is shake your head. “You want me to keep going then?” you just nod at his second question. You definitely don’t want him to stop and the burning fire in your belly hasn’t died down in the slightest, it almost needs him to keep going.
So he does. He kisses down your body again and he caresses your hips and your thighs as he gets closer to where you really need him. He places a few kisses to your mound on the wet patch in your underwear before he helps you slip them off. You’re holding your breath as he takes in the sight of your completely naked body for the first time. Aaron is breathless as he drinks you in. He takes his time. He wants to savour this and he wants to move slowly with you.
“Beautiful. So so beautiful, sweetheart.” Aaron murmurs before kissing your clit and then he lets his tongue dart out to lick gently at it. A small gasp exits you and you swallow hard. Aaron smiles a little bit before he continues. He licks up your slit and groans at the taste of your arousal on his tongue. He instinctively pulls you a little closer with his grip on your thighs as he dives in and really begins to eat you out, his movements still slow and calculated.
He tests some different things out. Different motions and different pressures and patterns. He finds what makes you respond the most and he runs with it until your thighs are practically crushing his head between them as he licks and laps at your pussy. It started off completely slow and sensual, and it still mostly is but he is adding more pressure and that knot in your belly is growing and you’re certain that you’re going to snap soon.
“Aaron, just like that. I like that, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
“I’m not, baby. I’m not.” He mutters quickly so he can continue.
It doesn’t take much longer. Each stroke of Aaron’s skilled tongue on your sensitive and throbbing clit pushes you closer and closer until you’re finally seeing stars and moaning his name as you cum. He rides you through your intense climax and the pressure on the sides of his head from your thighs' nearly skull-crushing grip coupled with tasting your release has him almost finishing in his slacks again like he did that one evening with you on the couch.
One of your hands is gripping his hair and the other is grabbing at anything you can reach. Aaron is moaning and groaning into your cunt as you tug on his dark locks of that soft hair you love so much. He can’t help the way his hips buck against the bed a couple of times as he watches the look of pleasure that is written all over your features. Your head is thrown back and your back is arched, nipples hard, eyes shut tight.
You and Aaron are both panting by the time he pulls away. He rubs your thighs again and it helps to ground you. He looks up at you and you look down at him with your eyelids drooping slightly over your eyes.
“Are you okay?”
You manage another nod and a smile. “I’m amazing, Aaron. That felt so good.”
He can’t help grinning up at you and he plants a kiss on the inside of your thigh. “Do you want me to do it again, sweetheart?” Your hips buck slightly and he chuckles as he rubs two of his fingers through your fields and to your bundle of nerves. He gives it some more attention now as you nod and he sticks with just rubbing your clit for time being to see if it feels good for you. He can’t help tasting you again though and he moves his head to slip his tongue inside of your dripping cunt. He groans into you and the vibrations feel funny but not unwelcome at all.
Aaron’s tongue is pressing in and out of you, going up to swirl around your clit every so often and then uses his finger again as his tongue darts back inside of you. It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to come over you and he works you through it until you’re relaxing back into the bed.
“Can…can you use your fingers in me next?”
You’re so polite and shy when you ask for things. He thinks it’s kind of cute really. He just nods and slips one digit into you at first, fingering you with it slowly for a minute before adding a second one to the mix. You find the stretch delicious. It feels perfect. The stroke of his fingers against your walls is so good and you’re extra sensitive by now so you’re feeling it even more.
His tongue finds your clit again and flicks it skillfully. You try to grind your hips up against him for more, chasing your third orgasm. Aaron tries to add another finger, but he quickly stops when you tell him to.
“I don’t…I don’t think I like that much. I’m not ready for that. But keep going. With two. Please.” You swallow, still panting heavily from everything that you and Aaron have been doing together.
Aaron nods and uses two digits again. “Okay, sweetheart. I’m sorry. Are you okay though?” He’s looking up at you with some concern flashing in his eyes, but he continues to finger you since you asked him to. You nod and grind your hips up against his hand again before tangling one of your hands in his hair and guiding his mouth back to your core. He doesn’t hesitate to go with your actions. He just wants you to feel as amazing as you can.
He ends up giving you many more orgasms before you finally feel like you can’t keep going. And then you’re asking him if you can help him out. He doesn’t want you to feel like you have to, he would never want you to feel like you had to do anything. So of course he is asking you if you’re sure, and you almost sound like you’re pleading for it.
“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready for that yet, honey. I like focusing on your pleasure and making you feel good. I’m not really worried about myself right now.”
“No, I know that, Aaron. I just really want to make you feel good too. You have made me feel incredible and I want to do the same to you. I really really want to do this; I just need you to help me because I don’t know what I’m doing.” You chuckle a little awkwardly at the end and Hotch finds it a bit endearing. “Please?” There’s that soft ‘please’ again that he knows he’ll be screwed by in the future because he doesn’t think that he will ever be able to deny you anything you want.
He lets out a soft sigh and smiles softly as he nods and sinks back into the mattress. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want you or if he said that he had never thought about having your mouth on him. He had thought about it too many times, but he wouldn’t want to tell you that. He’s thought about doing many things with you, really. Most of the time his thoughts stay on the softer side of things. He knows there are things you wouldn’t be comfortable with yet so he typically keeps his mind from wandering that much.
He knows that you’re okay with him thinking about you like that though. You’ve told him about your own little fantasies with him before. You were surprisingly fairly candid about it, which surprised him a little bit.
It all came out one night when you were watching a movie together and you saw a sex scene that had ignited a steamy thought in your mind and you accidentally let it slip that you’d be thinking about him doing that with you the next time you were alone and needy. The way Hotch’s eyes had widened when you said it made yours widen too because you didn’t realise you had said it aloud. But then he smiled at you and you returned it. You felt flushed. Bashful. Your cheeks felt like they were burning up.
Aaron had filed the information away for another time further into the relationship. He let it go and brushed it off when it had happened because he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable after accidentally giving yourself away to what you like to think about doing with him.
“So…how do I start?” You ask tentatively and Aaron gives you a comforting smile as he takes your hand and guides it to his clothed and achingly hard dick.
“Like this, sweetheart.”
His hand guides yours to palm him and you watch his expression as he tries to remain composed and controlled. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply through his nose, exhaling through his mouth shortly after. He feels the urge to buck his hips and grind against your palm, but he manages to control himself.
After a minute of you palming his throbbing cock, he removes his clothes for you. He is desperate to really feel your touch on his sensitive flesh. He takes your hand again and he guides it to wrap around his thick length and you begin to stroke him at a slow and consistent pace. He bites back a groan and closes his pretty eyes again. His chest is heaving already.
He helps you smear the precum leaking from his tip with your thumb and then his eyes flutter open when he feels you shifting on the mattress. You’re lowering your head and licking his tip now. His hips nearly jump at the contact. You look up at him through your lashes and ask him if you’re doing okay so far and he nods quickly.
“Flatten your… your tongue next and… up the underside- oh god.” He feels filthy as he instructs you on how to suck him off, but the second you drag your tongue up the underside of his cock, his eyes are falling shut again and then his lids squeeze together tightly as you wrap your lips around the head of his dick and start bobbing your head at a steady pace now.
He tries so hard not to make all of the noises that are threatening to spill over because he isn’t sure if you like that, but his plan backfires because the fact that he is being so quiet is making you second guess yourself and you pull off of him.
“Am I doing it wrong?”
“What? No, no it’s perfect. It’s amazing, baby. What makes you think you’re not doing right?” His eyebrows furrow in concern and confusion, mirroring your own expression.
“Well you’re just being pretty quiet. I thought maybe it wasn’t good for you or something.” You sit back a little bit and keep looking at him a little muddled by his lack of noise. You were plenty loud when he was going down on you.
“Oh, honey, no. I didn’t know you liked the noise. I won’t hold it back anymore. You want me to make noise?” He asks, trying to clarify and clear up the confusion.
“Yes, like when you were moaning and groaning into me when you were eating me out, it made it all feel so much better. I liked hearing you.” You smiled softly at him before getting back into your position of hovering over his cock.
You don’t wait for a response before taking him back in your mouth once again and this time your ears are met with the groan that rumbles out of him. It makes you horny for him all over again as you take as much of him into your mouth as you can before pulling back and repeating the action over and over, your hand stroking what you can’t fit. His moans and groans increase and so do yours, adding to his pleasure as your noises cause vibrations to run through him.
One of Aaron’s hands takes your free one and moves it to cup his balls and you look up at him again to see his expression. His eyebrows are drawn together and his lips are parted. His chest is heaving with each breath and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard after a particularly loud moan.
It doesn’t take much longer for you to work Aaron to the edge and once he is spilling in your mouth, having warned you ahead of time, he is moaning and whimpering as his hips practically thrash around the way yours had done earlier after your fourth orgasm. His high is intense and it lasts a little longer than it normally does when he is taking care of himself because having the real thing here in front of him is like his dream come true.
After he calms down a bit and catches his breath, he grabs at you, wanting to pull you closer now. You settle in his arms and he kisses you. You can both taste each other on the other’s lips and tongue.
“That was… the most incredible thing ever.” he is still breathless and he lets out a breathy chuckle at the end as he smiles tiredly and glances at you through his heavy eyelids. You smile back and giggle a little bit.
“Well I am glad you think so. I was happy to help.” You respond and you gaze at him with nothing but love and happiness in your eyes. Something about seeing him like this after making him feel good just makes you feel soft. You feel even more love for him.
You both fall asleep for a little while before getting out of bed to clean each other up.
You and Aaron continue to explore each other more after that night, but it takes you about a month to finally tell Aaron that you’re ready to have sex with him. Aaron is calm when you tell him. He is soft spoken with you, his voice just sounds so gentle. It’s even more gentle than it normally is when he is around you, which is almost always except for when you are at work, though he normally tones down his “boss man” persona when he is speaking directly to you, especially when it is in private.
“You’re ready?”
“I am. I have been thinking about it a lot and I know that I am ready now. I’m ready for us to take that step.” You don’t really feel shy or embarrassed to be having this conversation with him like you were about most of the other sexual interactions and conversations. You have become fairly comfortable with Aaron in this way since you both started to take things further and explore more of yourselves and each other. It has helped you let go of that uneasy feeling and it has also helped with your previous lack of confidence in bed.
“Okay, sweetheart. Okay. I want to make it special though.” He rubs his hand up and down your arm a few times in a show of affection.
“Oh you don’t just want to throw me down right here on the couch and take me until night comes?” You joke and Aaron laughs loudly. You love to make him laugh like that. It surprised you how easy it could be to get such reactions out of him when you first started seeing each other outside of the office. You could make the dumbest joke and he would laugh at it like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard in his life. He only really laughs like that with you though. At first you thought he was just exaggerating how funny he found your jokes, but then you realised that that wasn’t the case. You found that no one else really tries to joke around with him because they all saw him as too serious, too cold and unfeeling. That’s just not true though. He just has to act that way at work and you wish the team would include him in things more often.
“No, sweetheart. I don’t want to just ravage you right here and now. Well, okay maybe part of me does, but we can do that another time. This time should be extra special.” He reaches up and cups your cheek, rubbing it lightly with his thumb in the way you both love.
It’s your turn to giggle at his admission of some of him wanting you right then and a lovely smile graces his lips at the sound. It’s one of his favourite things to hear.
Aaron doesn’t want to rush any part of this experience, including even getting to that part of the experience. He plans out a night for the two of you. It is as romantic as he can make it. A date out at a restaurant, lit with the soft glow of the candles he made sure were included. He wore a suit and you wore your best outfit, at his request. You had both looked each other up and down when he arrived to pick you up.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of you the entire evening, not that he wanted to anyway. You were the only thing on his mind then and he couldn’t help admiring your enchanting aura. He loves this. The time filled with a sort of domestic conversation and little moments of comfortable silence and knowing glances, eyes filled with love and desire for the other at knowing what was to come.
Aaron reaches across the table to grasp your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles as he gazes into your eyes. He brings your hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on it before lowering it back to how he had been holding it a moment before. He looks at you and speaks in his kind voice that he saves for outside of the BAU.
“I love you so much, y/n. You are one of the two most important people in my life. I love you more than anything.” His eyes are showing so much warmth as he states his love for you. You can feel your heart start to beat a little faster in your chest. It’s not the first time he has said he loves you, but with the addition of the atmosphere and the extra feelings and emotions that are showing tonight, it all makes your heart flutter. You swear that sparks go off in your brain.
“Aaron, I love you too. I swear it’s like I fell for you the second I saw you and once I really started to get to know you, it just grew and never stopped growing. You mean everything to me.” The warmth in his expression radiates off of him. His posture is different from the way it usually is at the office. Normally his back is as straight as possible and his hands are clasped. Now, though, he is leaning in to be a little closer to you and he is holding your hand. His other hand is resting under his chin, his elbow on the table in front of him. He is looking at you like he is lovesick. He is. You both are.
Later, after you both finish your wine and food, Aaron takes you out to walk around. More intimate conversation and quiet moments take place as you both appreciate the scenery around you. Your walk is also filled with more giggles and laughter. It’s just wonderful in every sense of the word.
Once Aaron finally takes you back to his place, he asks you to wait outside the bedroom for a minute so he can finish setting up the last bit of what he has planned. You oblige of course. When he opens the door and stands to the side for you to come in, you are met with so many more candles than there were on your date.
The room seems so warm from the soft flickering light illuminating the familiar space. It makes you feel a bit tingly on the inside as you take it in. Aaron is a hopeless romantic and a little cliché at times, making the petals leading to the bed seem very much like something he would do for you. He was thoughtful enough to not actually put them on the bed though. You had always wondered if it would feel strange to do something like that on flower petals like they do in the movies, and you’re sure a couple could end up in less than pleasant places after being squished.
It’s serene. You are very grateful to have someone like your boyfriend. He’s always been so considerate, especially in the romantic area of your relationship. He likes to make things a little extra special for you whenever he can. He puts a lot of thought into things surrounding your time together.
“Aaron, it’s perfect. Thank you. I love it.” You gush a little over his thoughtful gesture and you take one of his hands in both of yours, looking at him with a fondness that you only show to him. He squeezes one of your hands a little and cups your cheek with his other.
“I’m happy you do, honey.”
Then he is leaning in and kissing you. Soft and tender like he normally does, but there’s a little more to it. You can’t quite place what it is, there’s just something extra. Maybe there are more feelings and emotions behind it.
Aaron’s hands find your sides and they rub up and down, tracing some small patterns lightly before resting them there. The kiss is very delicate and he starts to guide you to the bed, gently pushing you back onto it and going down with you. He’s resting his weight on you and it’s already getting you excited to have him on you like this.
He pulls away and starts to take off his suit and you take this opportunity to take your clothes off too, leaving only your underwear on and moving more to the middle of the bed as you wait for Aaron to join you which he does a moment later. He settles back down on top of you and kisses your cheek and the corner of your mouth before going to your lips again. His movements are thought out, calculated, like they always are.
Your lips move against his, increasing with more passion and need over time.
“You’re completely sure about this?” Aaron mumbles as his lips go to your jaw.
“Very sure.”
“Just tell me to stop if you change your mind. And if something doesn’t feel right or just doesn’t feel good, let me know and we can figure it out. Okay?” He lifts his head a little so that he can make eye contact with you. He’s searching your eyes and expression for any hesitation or uncertainty about what is going to happen.
“I know, baby. I will. You know that I always will.” He does know. He just needs to hear you say it again. This is a big step for you and for him too. He needs to make sure that you don’t have any doubts about it.
Aaron nods and then goes back to kissing your jaw, slowly trailing down to your neck and sucking on your pulse point, causing the first noise to leave your throat. He grins against your neck and keeps going. His hands go to your chest and he starts fondling your breasts, pinching your nipples a little bit and causing you to let out a real moan this time.
He nips at your neck and soothes the gentle bites with his tongue before moving down to suckle on your nipples. He alternates between sucking on them and flicking and swirling his tongue around them, one hand always giving the other peak attention as his mouth tends to the other. Your hands are already tangling in his hair and tugging at the dark strands just the way he likes. He has always loved the feeling of you pulling on his hair. It makes him groan against you, around your nipple, and the vibrations cause a particularly high-pitched sound to leave you. Your back arches a little at the unexpected, but welcome, sensation.
Hotch reaches down to run a finger over your clothed slit and he can feel the growing wet patch. The deep sigh he lets out is one of him trying to contain the arousal he is feeling. He already wants to take you so badly. His dick is already aching for some attention, it twitches but he ignores it to focus on you.
He places kisses between your tits as he drifts down and places little pecks along your belly and hips before getting to where you are also aching to be touched. His tongue darts out to lick at the wet patch on your underwear before groaning again, sliding them down and off your legs with the help of you lifting your hips for him.
He gets between your thighs again and brushes his lips along the inside of them, more soft nips and licks taking place now. Then he dives in and starts lapping at your heat. It feels amazing like it always does. You’re moaning and pulling on his hair even more than before, pushing Aaron’s face deeper into your core as he feasts on you. He pulls an orgasm from you quickly and then even faster than before he manages to get a second one out of you with his skilled fingers.
You pull him up, needing him to get to what you’ve both waited so long for. He moves back up your body, his lips crash into yours with more passion and intensity than earlier and you immediately reciprocate it. There is so much need. So much raw desperation.
“Aaron- Aaron, I need you. So bad. Please.”
“I know. I know, I need you too.” Aaron mutters against your lips before pulling away and removing his own underwear. You watch as his cock stands for you, spewing precum from the tip and all but demanding to finally be touched in some way. Any way as long as it soothes the throbbing just a little.
Aaron settles back down, his hips slotting between your thighs before he takes a hold of his length and lines up with your entrance.
“Are you ready, honey?” He uses his other arm to hold himself up. He’s able to rest his hand atop your head so he can brush his thumb over your forehead.
“I am. I’m ready, Aaron.”
With that, he finally pushes into you for the first time.
It is slightly painful as Aaron eases his way inside of you. It’s unhurried. He wants to take his time and let you adjust to the intrusion. You grip his shoulders and he rubs your side like he did earlier.
“I’m right here. Are you okay?” He whispers into your ear as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to hold you a little closer.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Just hurts a tiny bit. I need to get used to you.”
Aaron nods a little and kisses your forehead. He massages your shoulder, trying to help your body calm down and relax more and to show you that he’s there for you. He plants chaste kisses along your forehead, cheeks, and temple.
After adjusting around him you tell him that he can start moving and he pulls out almost all the way before pressing forward again. He does this over and over again, the slow drag of his cock against your soaking wet walls has his head dipping down to rest in the crook of your neck, his sweet moans and groans filling your ears and making your spine shiver. You can feel his chest rumbling with each noise he makes. His motions have the same effect on you, the sounds you’re making are like music to Aaron’s ears and he has to bite down ever so gently on your shoulder to hold himself back.
His dick is throbbing inside of you and he already feels like he could finish, but he doesn’t want that for you yet. He wants to make this moment last longer. He wants to savour the feeling, the experience of being with you like this for the very first time. He puts all of his focus into making sure you feel as good as possible.
His head dips a little more and he places little pecks on your chest and then he sucks your nipple into his mouth again like he did earlier. Your back arches up again and your core clenches around Aaron’s length and he struggles again from how tight you feel. He goes just a tad faster and slightly harder but his thrusts are still slow and deliberate. He doesn’t want to get rough with you this time. That can wait until next time or the time after that. Whenever it feels right.
Your hands are roaming all over Aaron’s back and shoulders, scratching lightly at the skin beneath them as they wander. Your hips instinctively buck up and grind against Aaron’s and he knows that he won’t be able to last longer than a couple more minutes. He reaches a hand down and he starts rubbing your bundle of nerves in tight circles until your cunt is constricting around him as you cum and moan his name over and over. He doesn’t let up, giving you almost no time to recover and pushing you into one more not long after.
He can feel your pussy fluttering with the aftershocks of your orgasm as he rides you through it.
“Sweetheart, where do you want me to-”
“Inside. Inside, Aaron. Please.” You whisper to him. Your brain is hazy from the pleasure but you know what you want. You’ve wanted all of this for a long time now and you’re ready tonight.
It doesn’t take more than a few thrusts to fill you up. You can feel the warmth blooming and spreading throughout you. He lets out whimpers and moans as he does so, biting down on your shoulder again but it’s not hard at all, gentle just like any other time. He doesn’t want to hurt you.
You rub Aaron’s back as he comes down from his high, the most intense high that he has had in a long time. He could almost swear that he nearly lost consciousness from how incredible it felt.
Once his body has relaxed back down against yours he has to let himself just stay there for a moment. Your hand moves through his hair and you say sweet things in his ear. He feels like this should be the other way around, but he can’t help basking in the comfort and love that you are giving him.
Once he finally has the energy to move again he pulls out completely and he rolls off to be beside you, arm draped over you to stay close and to keep feeling you. He runs his hand along your skin lazily and he closes his eyes for a few minutes. You roll over onto your side and wrap your arms around him, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck and inhaling his scent deeply. He always smells so good no matter what. His scent is like home to you. It's your Aaron and it always calms you. When your heart is racing after an intense moment during a case, he will hug you and hold you close. You always focus on how he smells and the sound of his heart beating and his breathing and it always relaxes and soothes you almost immediately, just as it calms your pounding heart now.
You continue to breathe a little heavier than normal and so does Aaron, but once he can think again, he looks at your form nestled up against his side. His lips ghost over your temple and he leaves a small peck there before whispering into your ear.
“Did you have a good time? Was there anything I can do to make it better next time?”
He wants to make sure you feel phenomenal. Your enjoyment is always the most important part to him.
You inhale sharply, his soft voice alerting you again after you had nearly started to doze off from how sleepy you have become. “It was perfect, honey. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t have wanted our first time to be any other way.” You mumble against his neck.
Aaron holds you for a little while longer before he gets up and helps you to the toilet. He runs you a bath and he washes you up. You both talk about whatever crosses your minds and there is laughter every so often. He is happy to sit and let you soak for a nice long time, until the water begins to cool. Once you get out, he dries you off and brings you some nice comfortable pyjamas to wear back to bed. He has already put some clean underwear on to sleep in.
Once you are both in bed again, Aaron tucks you both in with the warm blankets and he wraps his arms around you protectively as you both snuggle up together. He drifts off to sleep with you, both tangled in each other happy and content. Aaron is happy that he could give you a good experience and he can’t wait to do it more in the future. You’re happy that it was him and not someone else. You’d had that one bad sexual experience before him and it didn’t really teach you much of anything, but Aaron has taught you so much and he has been able to show you what real pleasure truly is. You already know that you’re going to love learning even more with him.
#aaron hotchner#hotchner#hotch#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x female reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner x reader smut#aaron hotchner x female reader smut#aaron hotchner x fem!reader smut#aaron hotchner x you smut#hotch x reader#hotch x female reader#hotch x fem!reader#hotch x you#hotch x y/n#hotch x reader smut#hotch x fem!reader smut#hotch x female reader smut#hotch x you smut#aaron hotchner smut#hotch smut#hotch x inexperienced!reader#aaron hotchner x inexperienced!reader#hotch fic#aaron hotchner fic#ssa hotch#hotch🌜#mon posts🩷
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Guys, guys... We have reached five hundred subscribers (applause, applause). The special this time will be different from the others. To celebrate that we have reached half a thousand subscribers, I am going to thank you all and also let you know my mutuals.
First of all I will thank Jensen Ackles, who is after all who I mostly write for. It is a great honor to be alive at the same time as him and I am grateful to him for bringing out my most creative side even in my darkest moments. Now, after that, let's start with my mutuals
@yjessy: Well, for starters, she's my best friend in the real world outside of Tumblr and their stories. She's the only person in my life who knows about the kind of content I write. And the reason why I talk about her instead of talking to her is because unfortunately she doesn't have Tumblr due to lack of space on her cell phone, but I know that I have her unconditional support and friendship. I thank you for that.
Well, @v1v1-3, you will have the honor of being second on the list: You came to me asking me questions to form your own page and I loved answering you and I was so honored that you chose me out of so many talented writers here. I love that you tag me in every challenge you participate in, and please, never stop doing it. it's very fun. For all that thank you.
@ausantana: You are not a fanfic writer, you are a film fan who gives her opinion on each film and I love your aesthetic. Maybe I started following you because we liked the same things and I always imagine you as the girl in your Icon; Sweet, with a pretty smile, intelligent, charismatic. Maybe you're not like that, maybe you're the opposite, but in that way your photo tells me about your personality. I love reading your opinions and I enjoy each one of them. And for that I am grateful to you.
@figthoughts: I love your little stories and you were one of the first writers that I chose to follow to continue reading you. You were part of my inspiration and I always loved and will love the way you write. And for that I thank you.
@sunsbaby: Your !Reader introductions always make me know more about the personality that I have to bring out of myself when reading your stories and I honestly enjoy it too much. I have fun with these different facets and it shows that you have fun creating them. And for that I thank you.
@soldiersgirl: The way you write Soldier Boy/Ben is amazing and always catches my attention. I hope you never stop writing about him and giving me more amazing content. It doesn't matter if you only write for him, that's enough for me and I know it's enough for many too. And for that same content I thank you.
@dulcescorderitas: Your stories are short, but that doesn't make them boring, and you can upload ten in a day that will never be too much. I will always be surprised by your imagination and speed when writing and you are fantastic. And for entertaining me with your incredible writing I am grateful.
@valjy: It's incredible how with so little you can achieve such great things. I don't think we have interacted much, but I still enjoy and love what you do and I hope you keep it up. You are the meaning that sometimes less is more and I have put that into my own writing. And for that I thank you.
@whisperingdaze: I think the first thing that caught my attention about your page was your Lana del Rey Icon. As a big fan of hers, my mind quickly goes to anything of hers. But I didn't stay for your photo, I stayed for your writing. You relate everything so well that I can even effortlessly imagine what you describe. I thank you for that.
@h8aaz: You said I was one of the first ones you read and one of the ones who inspired you to start creating your own page. I know what it feels like to be in your place and that connection you feel with that writer you read at night before going to sleep. I honestly didn't think I would experience things from the perspective of the writer, from the source of inspiration, but you made me experience it. And for that thank you. Psst (I still miss Sammy sleeping in your Icon).
And last but not least, @zepskies: What can I say about you? You were one of the first ones I read and I think the first one I read about Jensen. You were my main inspiration to start creating my own content. I was guided by your page to create mine and I love that Latinas can write outside their language and be successful, you demonstrated it yourself. And for that I am extremely grateful to you.
Thanks to the people on my Tag List for wanting to pay attention to each story uploaded and thank you for being patient with me. Sometimes it can take me a while to upload what you desire from the character you want.
And for you, followers, who read my stories and accompany me on this journey, thank you all. Without you, what I would write would be worthless. You are the protagonists of this and every achievement of mine is your achievement. I know well that life can be difficult, but I also know that humans are strong, all of us. No matter our differences, our fierceness and desire to live are what unites us. Thank you for joining me and let's move forward!

#fanfic#jensen ackles#supernatural#spn#jensen ackles characters#supernatural x reader#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#jensen ackles smut#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester smut#jared padalecki x reader#jared padalecki smut#jared padalecki#misha collins x reader#misha collins#alec mcdowell x reader#dark angel#boaz priestly smut#boaz priestly#soldier boy x reader#the boys fanfic#the boys#jensen ackles x reader#sam winchester fic#sam winchester x reader#castiel x reader#sam winchester fanfiction#sam winchester smut#castiel smut
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i thought i'd do a self-indulgent little roundup post about my birthday, so i can look back on it someday and get emo about how lovely it was :')
concludes with my s/f report from the thursday evening show, all spoilers clearly marked!!
on the day itself i got some amazing gift fics from @donotbelasagne, @batatadulce9 & @kookaburrito (in order of posting), which was completely unexpected & wonderful 💕💕 if you like freaky rpf then you probably know where to find them! AND...
kooka also sent me this reece locket and this AMAZING lazoo doll which. i actually started yelling when i opened it & saw what it was. LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT MY HORRID BABY
this is why i had to post the stitchup showdown opening, to at least provide context if not an explanation for my love for him 💗
my bf got me some amazing presents too, and we saw stage/fright – his 1st time, my 5th. details about the show further down, but first...!!
💕 REECE HUGGED ME!! 💕 and wished me happy birthday!!! 💕 he is the absolute sweetest and i just... yeah no words. i have rewatched the video of it a million times already. i was wearing heels so it was a biiit of a stretch for him to reach 🙈
i think this confirms he's not on ao3 lol because when i said "it's my birthday!" he didn't go pale and say "YOU! >:O"
on friday i had the best day with the lovely @spcvarney 💗 & we did a tour of the wyndham's!! she posted about this already, but the staff told us that reece has been claiming to feel ghosts touching his shoulder & stuff in the theatre 👻 of course he has
supposedly he had the same experience back in 2005 when he did as you like it there. no wonder he seems so happy there. they said that the alleged ghost has a history of reacting badly to swearing, and especially to the word cunt. 🫢
they let us go onstage, which was amazing. they asked us not to take photos of the stage/fright set & props. so of course i didn't. :) it really is an amazingly beautiful place
yesterday was my birthday party & it was rlly nice to see my family & friends, including some wonderful in9 fans, and i had the BEST time nerding out with them in person 💗 @wintersoulwitch managed to come by IN BETWEEN the evening & matinee s/f performances which was actual legend behaviour, & their varney tshirt was easily a highlight of the whole experience
at the party itself i found out that i didn't just pass my january exams (the ones that made me wish i was dead), i actually nailed them 😭😭
@mifhortunach came a long way for the party & i can't say how exciting that was 🥹❤️ we've been friends for the longest time & every time we hang out irl i have so much fun. they were the one who introduced me to in9 in the first place, so that was a nice full circle moment 😅
today i was so wrecked that i slept all morning & only woke up in time to see them off. it has been a very... VERY intense three days & this post can't possibly capture it all but yeah, these are just some highlights
i feel really lucky. i love my friends, including the ones not mentioned here & the ones who don't know that i think of them as friends. idk how i come across on here, or in person. i'm not someone who has never been deeply lonely & shy & insecure. being in this fandom is one of the strangest & loveliest things that's ever happened to me, because the people are amazing. sometimes i think about how it won't last forever, but that's okay, i'll enjoy it for as long as it lasts
my time gets stretched pretty thin. i'm never on here as much as i'd like to be, & i usually don't reply to people as fast as i'd like to. a lot of in9 fans are in the uk, so my nocturnal habits are pretty antisocial. thanks for being kind to me & patient with me :')
⚠️ stage/fright spoilers beyond this point!!! ⚠️
thursday eve was a GREAT performance!! the audio is mostly me + my bf cackling with joy. the audience were well up for it. really enthusiastic, laughing a lot. the whole play felt looser and more energetic than usual, everyone in the cast was clearly vibing
reece especially – marcus was sassier and more over-the-top than usual, and he corpsed a bunch during kidnappers, covering his mouth with his hand. on "i know how to answer the phone" he did a little jig for no reason and then burst out laughing at himself
speaking of kidnappers, the guest was julian clary (jewel ink lairy) and he was FANTASTIC, so so funny. he called s&r "heterosexual cunts" & i think the looks on their faces can best be described as delighted astonishment
i should point out that my straight, non-fandom, comedy writer bf feels that the "pudgy & homosexual" line IS most likely a reference to s&r themselves 💁🏻♀️
hugo's gloves were among the props left out onstage. plus the ghost light, gramophone, creepy jars, and trepanning chair from that segment. and the hare (we think it was The Hare)
the boys skipped some fairly important dialogue in their last scene: the reference to bcdr and the explanation as to why the song was cut. not sure what happened but i think reece just fastforwarded a bit by mistake. it still worked and it was still absolutely perfect. ❤️
i had happy tears in my eyes all through the song. reece was audibly belting it out and clearly having the time of his absolute life.
when miranda hennessy came out of the stage door, there was a huge cheer from a group of women across the alley who yelled "we know her!" she ran over to them & they all hugged & laughed & they said how proud they were :')))
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I agree to a certain extent, I think up until the end of S2 they did prioritize their ideals and principles (e.g. Viktor leaving after he finds out Jayce made weapons) - but not always. Jayce using the hexcore and performing necromancy to save Viktor, for example, and not even reacting negatively that Viktor performed those experiments on himself. Also I'm not sure if he ever knew, but also the fact that Jayce killed a Zaunite kid and Viktor doesn't break their partnership off.
2a. Jayce was willing to kill Viktor to prevent the glorious evolution.
Yes, but we don't know what he saw / what mage!Viktor told him. It's possible he knew that wouldn't be the end to Viktor, he also doesn't seem surprised when Viktor approaches him as that hexbot in the council room later. Plus we see glimpses of alternate universes and in at least one of them, Jayce actually can't bring himself to kill Viktor and runs to him instead (shown before he shoots his hammer at him in the commune).
b. I'm not sure he wanted to kill Jayce, he says "allow us a moment of civility" and it seems from the fight like he's toying around with them. Maybe he would have just choked him out to be unconscious or something, but yeah at that point where he's already very much "evolved" it's hard to tell, he could have also tried to kill him which leads to that apocalypse AU in the first place.
"Watering down their ending to just “choosing each other” devalues their sacrifice."
I mean Jayce does say in text that (instead of bringing magic to the people / his initial Hextech dream) he just wants his partner back, so he does absolutely consciously choose him. But he also chooses to stay with him to finish it together and with a big likelihood supposedly die, so I agree it's also "duty"-bound.
4."Jayce and Viktor are well adjusted adults; they have their own lives outside of each other. " Tbh, Viktor is not shown to have much of a support system outside of Jayce. The only characters he interacts with in his daily life are mostly Heimerdinger and Sky (+ Singed but only for the shimmer). And they spend almost every waking minute with each other, as BTS trivia puts them at being awake until the morning often in their labs.
I think Jayvik is one of the very few pairings where I feel like they're completely co-dependent but in a (mostly) non-toxic way.
“this person is the single most important thing my whole life revolves around”
Yeah, I would agree that's usually toxic, but it's fiction and I think Jayvik is one of the rare cases where that (you are the single most important thing in my life) could actually be claimed, mostly because of the reveal in the AU. Jayce chased this dream of magic his whole life when the mage is actually Viktor (I've seen takes about how that's also toxic, saying V steers Jayce's life because of that), he actually would have died already as a child if not for him. And on the other hand, Viktor knows that Jayce and him creating Hextech will lead to the world's destruction, but he still chooses to save Jayce every single time, hoping he will find the timeline where Jayce will stop them. If he genuinely puts the world before Jayce, he could just let him die.
TLDR; “A hero will sacrifice the person they love to save the world, but a villain will sacrifice the world for the person they love.” - Jayce and Viktor are both “heroes.”
I’ve seen many posts claiming Jayce and Viktor “can’t live without the other,” or “will always choose each other over the world.”
This is a huge mischaracterization IMO.
1. Their morals and sense of duty are more important to them than each other
- and that’s healthy! In fact, the foundation of their relationship is their shared values, goals, and convictions.
We see from their first interactions that both Jayce and Viktor want to use science to change the world for the better.
When Viktor realized that shared vision was gone their partnership ended. This rift was exacerbated when Viktor was set on the Glorious Evolution.
But they always had the same underlying goal- to do good for the world. They just disagreed on how.
Their bond was fully rekindled when they had the shared determination to sacrifice themselves to protect the future.
2. Jayce and Viktor are willing to sacrifice anything, even each other, for (what they think is) the greater good
2a. Jayce was willing to kill Viktor to prevent the glorious evolution.
After witnessing the horrific future, Jayce was already determined to do everything in his power to prevent it. His promise to mage Viktor strengthened that conviction even more. When Viktor refused to listen, he murdered him (and he would’ve been gone for good without Singed)
2b. Viktor was willing to kill Jayce for standing in the way of the Glorious Evolution
Viktor genuinely believed his plan will save humanity from suffering and imperfection. When Jayce refused to join him, he would’ve choked him to death (if it weren’t for Mel)
Watering down their ending to just “choosing each other” devalues their sacrifice. They are both incredibly principled and driven by a sense of duty toward humanity.
4. Exaggerating a relationship to be obsessive and codependent doesn’t make it better.
Jayce and Viktor are well adjusted adults; they have their own lives outside of each other. True, their stories are intertwined, but they don’t rely other person for their whole sense of self.
Devotion and commitment are great! Obsession to the point of “this person is the single most important thing my whole life revolves around” is toxic.
Jayce and Viktor already have a well written relationship in canon- why take it to the extreme to the point of being unhealthy?
I think of this especially when people say “Jayce would’ve committed suicide if he survived” but that’s another conversation.
Thanks to @event0horizon for inspiring some of these points
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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“In every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man.”
Miles choked out her name before he realized he was moving, flickering in and out of sight as he shoved past his other self with a burst of electricity and cleared the edge of the roof.
He only cared to remember his own lack of webs somewhere between during the freefall and after the jump.
“And in every other universe, it doesn’t end well.”
#btw i wrote some gwiles!#if anyone is interested#gwiles#ghostflower#gwen x miles#miles x gwen#spiderman: across the spiderverse#into the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#atsv#itsv#ao3#gwiles fic#spiderman#spider man: into the spider verse#beyond the spiderverse#i don't like this very much but i think it's mostly because i let it sit too long so here!
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along the same line as the whole "why do you need to know someone's autistic before you stop bullying them for their autistic traits?" thing I've seen floating around
apologizing for it once you know is meaningless. it doesn't change the fact that you deliberately mocked someone for their behavior.
.
a customer mocked my stutter and I've lost all patience with that so I looked him in the eyes and said "I have a speech disability" and he immediately got all apologetic and was like "I wasn't making fun of you". Bro yes you were. you didn't realize you were making fun of a disability I've spent my entire life struggling with, but you were nonetheless.
just because you don't know you're being an asshole doesn't mean you're not being an asshole. you can apologize but I'm not going to forgive you.
#text post#stuttering#disability#ableism#color says shit#it's nice that my stutter mostly disappears when I'm angry because it lets me immediately put on my stony and guarded demeanor effortlessly.#anyway. most customers are at least condescending to me when I have trouble speaking. not outright rude#I've had a few customers that do genuinely mock me and then I just walk away from them and call a manager.#but like... apologizing when you've chosen to engage in asshole behavior doesn't change the fact that you've engaged in that behavior.#I'm not going to go “oh it's alright 😁” because you've realized that I don't think you're at all funny for that.#I'm done taking shit from anybody. treat me with respect or fuck off.#it's not my fucking fault I can't get a sentence out some days.#I don't care if it was done in ignorance you're an adult you don't get to be cruel like that.#like. haha yeah I know it's so funny when I start making noises and breathing funny but I'm not a spectacle for you to laugh at.#I'm not some side show. I'm not some curiosity. I'm not a roadside attraction to laugh at.#sometimes I forget I have such a hugely internalized reaction to being objectified in this very specific way#and then it happens and I want to leave a fist shaped dent in my locker.#I care too much about my hands to fuck them up again so I'll just vent on tumblr dot com instead
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Once I'm comfy with their designs (and also monster designs and how one of them plays because OC archetype and all that), I could probably start posting Ritual AU stuff,, don't know what I'd start with though =v=;;
#Marwospeaking#Marble Lacuna Ritual Dragon's design feels too loose and not heavy where it should be. Mostly just flaws in how I drew her really but still#and the Citriskhelia are kind of more. monstrous than intended. They have beauty that can be appreciated but not instantly like the others?#especially as a bracelet girl archetype. usually they're pretty and nice on the eyes. I don't think these ones are though#There's also Yuume and Raon. and then also their directly supporting cast#Yeah I probably could've gone with Nephthys for Raon. But the bird god was too close to Ruri methinks?#and spellcasters are very much a Rin thing. so new sun-related archetype it was#accidentally also gave Yuume two elemental associations instead of one. so I need to bridge them somehow because both are important#I mean one's his monsters#arc v ritual au (marwolaeth)#En Sun doesn't really fit in kacho fugetsu at all. but its what lets us see the moon by its light. so I think you could fit it in getsu?
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#M best friend knows I write fic but she doesn't know is reader insert c Daryl and I'm embarrassed to tell her#And be seen as weird you know? Or you don't#Like yah I write myself getting with this fictional guy I'm in love with#I just can't I can't let people of my life know that I want to throw up just thinking it#Theyll think me weird and make fun of me#And my best friend won't make fun of me but still I fear because like it might come as an odd weird thing and I just can't get myself to#To tell her#But for the couple of days we've been sending each other like very deep conversations on audios of life and shit#Also my silly hoy guy at work debacle lol#And I really feel pull to tell her about the fic#Because there things I want to tell her about#Mostly funny shit#But I'm not sure she'd get the reader insert thing#And to admit her pretty much how I devote to write for Daryl and imagine me with him is just... It's too much it's crazy I can't#So I'm so torn
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