#i don't know if i actually kin in the traditional sense

[chelledoggo]

okay i'll admit it

TADC!Doggo is essentially my semi-kinsona lmao

[thegnomelord]

I love your monster au so much. It makes the monsterlover/fucker in me real happy. Sorry just wanted to share my appreciation.

I've been thinking too, how would you feel about writing a underwater sea creature reader? (No pressure but I hope this idea tickles your fancy so I'll infodump my ideas on you) They can live on land and stuff but drag their prospective mate into a deep underwater ravine when they want to mate. Idk how to describe it, like I have an idea in my head of what the creature's traits would be but I can't find a way to put it into words.

I'm going to give it a try though, (excuse the fact it won't make much sense, my thoughts jump around a lot. But I'll try and make it coherent.) Basically, my mind went to underwater dragons. So with most of the traits that you wrote for dragons, like the purring and the tails intertwining (and the sharing of scales). But I was thinking without wings, because you don't need them underwater. But we glow in the dark, because we are deepsea creatures we have adapted to become bioluminescent. Oh and also we have gills and stuff still when we are on land.

Idk if this is confusing or just something you don't want to write but I was hoping for you to include a more sfw part with the mating dance maybe and then then an actual nsfw part (dom top male reader??)

But at the end of the day this is just a suggestion and it's up to you if you want to write it or not. (If you do write it can it be with ghost or gaz?? gaz giving us shiny things but sea related, like shells? and/or ghost struggling through knowing how to court us. Both of them being confused of what to do because we are a new type of dragon that not many people knew existed and our courting traditions are mostly unknown??

Okay this is cool and it tickles my brain of having just this big fucking monster that's gigantic due to deep sea gigantism :D, I also picked Gaz cause I like the sea/sky duality.

CW:NSFW, subbot gaz, domtop Mreader, quick and rough

When you first joined the taskforce, Gaz didn't know what to expect. Your species had been newly discovered, barely any information about you, but something about you put some ancient part of his mind on edge, ants nipping on the sinew of his wings until his body begged to return to the safety of the sky.

First time he met you, you reminded him less of a dragon and more of a Leviathan — something that dwelled where the light didn't reach, far too big than anything should be allowed to be, bright bioluminescent markings shimmering against dark scales to lure prey into crushing jaws filled with sharp crooked teeth, horns like spears to pin down what couldn't fit in your maw, powerful legs built to swim and breach the surface of the water to catch unaware flyers like Gaz just to pull them down into the abyss to be devoured.

He would have been more. . . unsettled by you had you not been so nice.

You towered over him even in your mostly human form, but you were a gentle giant, happy to let him use you as a perch and humming along as he talks, joining in on his and Johnny's pranks and hiding them when Price eventually catches them.

And Gaz doesn't even notice when your presence no longer makes his feathers puff up, the shadow you cast over him now warm and welcoming after all the times you'd been a meat shield for him. He tils his head back to catch sight of your eyes as he leans back, soft feathers rubbing against your clothes, "Hey there big man." Gaz smiled.

You hum, your hand coming to loosely hold his hip, holding the pretty thing close to you. "Hi." You purr, the small biolights along your body flickering in seemingly random patterns, but nothing about them was random to you or your kin, your interest in him painfully obvious.

But to your dismay Gaz doesn't understand, just snorts at your colorful display. "What's got you in a good mood today?" He asks, eyes tracing the dancing lights, that instinctual bird part of his mind liking the sight, and the low rumble of your voice, and just. . . being near you.

You blink, "You," You say simply, your people aren't ones to mince words.

Gaz can feel his body heat up at your declaration, feathers puffing up, but strikes down any thoughts about you before they turn inappropriate and cause him to coo at you. "Fine, keep yer secrets." He huffs and gets out of your hold, wings stretching out to purposely show off his feathers as he walks away, tail feathers flickering.

He can feel your eyes follow after him, hummingbirds pecking at his spine and he doesn't know if he should feel that way. And all you can think of is how you could drag your pretty bird down into the abyss without clipping his wings.

. . .

Gaz watches you lazily swim around the lake near their current base in your real form, "Havin' a nice soak in there Nessie?" He asks as he walks the short pier and sits down, dipping his feet in the water as his wings spread out lazily behind him.

A low rumble leaves you like a distorted whale song, your large form pushing through the water like a submarine cutting through the ice. "Nessie?" You ask as swim over to him, "Who's that?"

"Never mind about that," Kyle grins, his eyes roaming along your large form as the biolights flicker once again in that specific pattern that means nothing to him but everything to you. "You look happy."

You shrug, "It's nice to be back in the water." Without a word you heave yourself out of the water and onto the pier, large hands clutching the wood on either side of him, a deep purr rumbling in your chest at how close he is to you now. "Did you need something?" You ask, biolights flickering seductively.

Kyle swallows drily, eyes going wide as he registers you loom over him, can smell the sea and salt still clinging to your scales, something other than fear buzzing down his spine from how close your dangerous teeth are to him. "Oh, right, uh," He clears his throat to clear the molasses clinging to it, wings spreading out in a way that got his feathers shining in the setting sun as he reached into his pocket.

"I, um. . . I got you this." He said, holding out the seashell he'd found for you. His breath caught in his throat as you looked at it, hoping you liked it; he'd spent hours polishing it until it was shining, the colors vibrant and every single scratch buffed out.

"Thank you," You rumbled and took the seashell into your hand. Your pupils dilated, a very pleased purr rumbling in your chest — oh, he was so thoughtful, such a good mate to bring a rare treat for you.

Kyle felt like a bloody peacock at the way his wings spread out, but he couldn't care less about his posturing when you accepted his gift, his heart fluttering like butterflies in a jar.

Then you ate it.

You ate his gift.

His heart shatters like the seashell between your fangs, wings dropping like a rock, never having expected to be rejected like that. "I- what- why did- if you-" He couldn't even form words to say what he wanted, pressing a hand to his face in an attempt to hide the way his eyes prickled with vestiges of tears.

Unfortunately for him, you notice. "Oh, little bird, what's wrong?" Your voice is soothing, biolights pulsing in a slow and calming way as you gently pry his hand from his face, looking into his eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"

Kyle doesn't look you in the eyes, doesn't know what the hell to feel right now, the words spewing out of his mouth before he could control them. "Why would you do that!" He hisses.

You tilt your head. "You gifted it to me." You say like it's supposed to explain everything, reaching up to cup his cheek, your clawed hand cold and wet against his skin. "It was very good." You lean in closer, a deep purr rumbling in your throat, your long tail moving to curl around his leg.

Kyle sucks in a sharp breath as you push you loom over him your hands on either sides of him keeping him in place, feeling himself slowly lay back as you creep over him onto the pier, heart drumming in his chest. "Wh-what?"

You snort, eyes glowing like anglerfish lures, lowering your head down to lick a stripe up his neck, claws raking down his front. "Let me show you my appreciation, yes?"

Kyle shivers at the sensation of your teeth against his throat, body heating up, your scent — of sea and salt and something very very old — invading his nose, an involuntary chirp escaping his chest. "Ah, yeah, sure just-" Kyle yelps as your claws cut through his clothes, wings quivering as they're pressed against the wooden pier behind him.

"Relax little bird," You coo softly, licking around his lips in what counts as a kiss for you when your maw is filled with vicious teeth, tongue trailing down to lick up the drops of his salty sweat. "I'll be gentle."

And gentle you are; softly licking up the blood after your fangs had left marks on his skin, sharp claws holding his trembling hips tenderly as your rough tongue worms inside him, soft purrs and deep rumbles vibrating your tongue against his prostate until he's sobbing, his hands clutching your horns to hold your head closer as his cock leaks a puddle of pre onto his abdomen.

He whines when you continue stretching him with your tongue, "Please, mate, just-" Kyle sucks in a sharp breath as your tongue once again grazes his prostate, thighs clenching around your head. "-just please fuck me already! I can't- I'm not going to-"

Kyle sobs with joy and anguish when you pull your tongue out, the slimy appendage slithering back into your maw and leaving him painfully empty. "Alright, alright," You coo, moving up to drape your body over his, nuzzling your cheek against his as you line your hard cock with his stretched hole. "Relax,"

The tip of your cock breaching his puckered hole has Kyle sucking in a sharp breath, "Easier said than done mate," He chuckles, closing his eyes and just trying to focus on your scent and just you, groaning. Fuck, you're big in all aspects, his body clenching down like a vice before relaxing enough for you to slowly push further, spreading his walls wide until you're fully inside him, your hips resting against his.

"There you go," You purr, letting Kyle adjust as you nibble on his neck, biolights flickering happily when he rocks his hips into yours. "Taking me so well,"

Gaz can feel his body heat up at your words, throwing his head back when you rock your hips, cock hard and heavy inside him, dragging against his walls with every minute movement that has him panting and whining, his legs crossing behind your back to pull your hips closer every time you pull out.

The world escapes your notice, all your attention fully on him as you focus on mating him, pulling needy desperate sounds from Kyle's lips, your large hand gently stroking his leaking dick as your cock rubs against his prostate, your unhurried pace making him cum again and again and again until he's a moaning boneless mess by the time you cum inside him.

[hayheadd]

How would u represent the dogheads as warrior cats?

This is a hard one!

Now. I try to stray (bark) away from the canon of both pathologic and warrior cats as little as possible, within reason. It gets hard when pathologic's whole thing is mindfuck magic shenanigans and architecture, something that cats ... can actually do in warrior cats, they cat build to some extent and are smart. But making masks and theatre performances is something that cats usually don't do...

I have considered eeeveything to make it fit. I have considered things like the warrior cats pathologic happening like 2 km away from the actual real pathologic with the humans, I have considered the powers that be actually still being human children but they're just playing with their warriors ocs instead. Don't worry the first one is scrapped but the second... Mmmm... Anyways. It would make sense for say, Executors to have weird looking above average sized raven skulls and for Oyun to wear an actual bull skull since he's a big cat and being able to carry bones of an animal that weighs up to a ton all the time would be a testament to his strength. Tragedians though? Hm. Apparently in the lore of p1 Mark actually dug the masks up from the ground with them being relics of some sort of kin tradition, like the Executors being the birds of death. So that backs up the bull and the ravens, but what about the vaguely human mime mask? To be fair TO ME the game doesn't explain their lore either, so I can just say it stays a myyystery... But if you care, maybe the tragedian masks were something that the old cat kin made out of like, a big bone then cut holes in it. They still have the abattoir, and no, cats killing bulls isn't silly, cats canonically have GOD and they can ride trains and go to the mall (which happens in Tigerheart's and Riverstar's books, I may know my cat lore...) and also do surgery with fucking rocks

I have explained them having the polyhedron and cathedral and weapons applicable in gameplay (within reason). But dog heads are something that cats absolutely cannot make. A flower cloak, sure. A bone mask, whatever. They don't have plushies though. They can't stitch... They don't have cloth production. And I like to keep my pathologicisms recognisable. I put the outfit patterns on cat fur so you can take a look at it and definitively say, hey, that's mister Danny Dankovsky D. Diddles Dickhead right there. So making the dogheads completely unrecognisable would be very unfortunate. So after that pretty long ramble I am going to inform you that I am taking the easiest possible cop out! The heads are plushies that they have because they do. Because they have the plushies and there is not an issue. They tie it to themselves with grass for stability and there's stuffing spilling out which is very patholgicly. Here's a quick doodle on cat finch, that's the ginger kid who eats knives.

Or maybe I can use the elaborate web of cop outs that IPL have constructed for themselves. See, co-author, it makes sense because god is children and children are stupid. Actually no, this makes sense because this is a videogame! No this isn't a videogame, this is a theatre performance! Goodnight!!!

[laniusbignaturals]

I genuinely confused about the whole drama fuss is all about. All fandom always at least have that one toxic ship, it's inevitable. And master/slave trope is not a new concept either, heck people seems fine about the trope as long as two party are attractive i suppose (shrug).

Plus dead dove do not eat also is a thing. It's unavoidable, if someone really didn't like a content there's literally a mute or filter

TLDR: It was always gonna go this way.

The long version: people originally started arguing about Caesar/Arcade because bickering over how to write characters’ romantic lives is time honored fandom tradition. This has been happening since the days of Star Trek and Harry Potter, it’s nothing new. These scuffles become especially aggro & self-serious when related back to a popular blorbo - those (usually male, almost always white) characters that are kinned, stanned and projected onto moreso than others. Arcade is absolutely that guy, right? He's a lot of people's favorite. He's special.

This spat featured casual racism, offensive name-calling and some brazen, truly nonsensical appropriations of AAVE, because those are also time honored fandom traditions. (Even if you niggas are cagey about acknowledging that.) Art in western culture is heavily influenced by white supremacy, and fandom, including the FNV fandom, is just one niche within that culture. White people, especially the young n cool™ ones, value their position as consumers & beneficiaries of black culture more than they value black people. They are known for selecting parts of our identity, language music clothes hairstyles etc, removing them from the original context, and bastardizing them so they can be used as a cultural commodity for nonblacks. Something that is put on and taken off for funsies, cosplay style. That FD Signifier video I was hyping up over the summer had a whole section about this. He also just released a new video on black cops which is worth checking out.

Now, tumblr's userbase generally believe themselves to be more enlightened than fandoms as you see them on reddit and twitter. And this is true, on a superficial level; you are much more likely to be met with slurs and open hostility on those sites than on this one. I also believe that, because the demographics which form the majority of tumblr's userbase - white gays and white women - have traditionally been marginalized & subjected to mistreatment within mainstream pop culture, they are especially resistant to identifying and dealing with the ways in which they fall short of their own progressive ideals. No one wants to see themself in the same light as their own bullies.

The problem is that, when it comes to their behavior, tumblr's FNV fandom can be pretty damn regressive, especially on the topic of race. They tend to have an excellent grasp on liberal terminology and identity politics, so they are comparatively much better at keeping these misgivings covert. But in practice, you will find them to be no less self-centered, entitled and anti-black than the FNV fanboys you would expect to find on reddit and twitter. I got into this game right around the time it was revealed that some white users were producing extreme anti-native content behind closed doors, an experience which has fostered an increased sense of isolation and paranoia among the remaining people of color in the community, as far as I can tell.

Okay, so, some white users start doing the ~Oooh Chile You'sa Lame Ass Homeskillet~ routine characteristic of digital blackface. They go out of their way to be as disrespectful and verbally abusive as they can in the process, because atp they're still on the offensive. And they misuse the black words they're "borrowing" because they don't know what they actually mean. When myself and a few others respond in kind, they double down, carrying on with the nastiness and the bizarrely racialized talking points. (Unironically calling people you don't like "degenerates??" Really?? School failed some of y'all smh)

A couple days go by and, instead of moving on and finding something else to do, they press the proverbial self-destruct button and engage in civility politics. The malignant tone of the original posts is abandoned, and instead, the people who once adopted it become… shocked and confused and wounded. They start talking about how, instead of matching their energy, their contemporaries should've just been "nice" and "civilized." They start complaining about being “canceled” just for having “opinions,” going back and forth between making half-assed apologies and insisting that the original issue wasn’t that big of a deal because they didn’t have “the intention of being racist” as if “having the intention of being racist” is something people ever do.

You would never guess that 1.these were the people all but outright referring to their peers as unwashed subhumans not last week, or 2. that they did so while identifying as left wing. Because rhetoric like this is borne from a place of privilege. Expecting that no one you’re denigrating will be allowed to meet you with an equal level of vitriol, because your space considers doing so to be taboo, is the kind of behavior that arises from too long spent insulated from the nonwhites who created the language they were mimicking. Nonwhites who might take umbrage with their broken attempts to use it while in the same breath calling them & theirs a bitch.

And if theres anything I would like people to take away from this, it's that the parts of fandom culture which they might have expected to have evolved in the past decade or so have, by and large, not evolved. Even some predominantly queer spaces will readily adopt the talking points of the right wing and prove themselves to be every bit as hostile to poc if you don't abide by their rules and center their perspective. So you should think before you speak and make an effort to not throw rocks and hide your hands, as is the parlance of our time.

Lastly, please do not go find these people and bother them on my behalf. I'm gonna take the poor english language comprehension between the both of them to indicate that they’re probably all, if not minors, young adults, which means they’ll likely learn not to act like this on their own. Or not! Maybe they'll be like this forever. Maybe one day I’ll see their names in the news after getting their shit rocked for saying a slur on campus & crying to the press about how they’re the real victims here. I can't influence whether or not that happens, because I’m not their counselor or their mom, even if they expect me to act like it.

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

Envoys

Ahhh, my children. I could go on about them forever.

In Once Upon A Time, Earth is successfully cybernized by the Omega Lock and the organic planet gets a bit of a makeover. Humanity included, which results in the two subsets that cybertronian's come to identify as "spark-eater" and "pit-spawn." Or Human and Human Envoy.

Envoys are a distinct class and a different form of Cybernized Humans. They are closer in resemblance and function to an ordinary Cybertronain thanks to a bit more of Unicron’s CNA mutating those genes. That said, they still aren’t Cybertronians and do not function like Cybertronians.

While requiring more energon-esq substitutes and a metabolic rate that isn’t as lenient or varied as the rest of their kin, they are still omnivorous and do need living metal to survive. They also will still outlast a Cybe when it comes to refueling.

Physically, they resemble the more traditional form of a bot. However, just like other earthlings, they cannot transform and lack certain attributes that result in an uncanny valley effect for Cybertronains. (Optic covers are replaced with eyelids, more predator-like vision/focus, denta are more pronounced, movement quieter/smoother, etc). They still are on the smaller side, but typically grow to be taller than their counterparts. Topping off at what would be considered "average-ish" on Cybertron.

That said, certain aspects that are amplified in everyone else (thus making a regular human look and act distinctly wrong) are sacrificed in an Envoy. Flexibility is lower than their counterparts from the added metal, their diet is significantly more picky since their systems can properly digest tougher materials, and their movements are more clicky. As if their joints are popping and sliding with every movement.

Envoys do share a connection between them, and a stronger connection to Unicron, thanks to the extra CNA. Like a spiderweb, Envoys have a loose spark bond that connects them to Unicron and each other through Unicron. Using this connection, they can send memories and emotions while being capable of direct communication with Unicron himself. The result is an almost chaotic hive mind, or more accurately a group text where Unicron is the cell phone.

Finally, Envoys do actually have a park signature. Overall, humans can sense the EM fields but cannot produce them. Envoys still can’t do so, but their close “spark bond” to Unicron causes them to reflect that signature back to EM-sensing individuals. So, bots will just feel a remnant of the anti-spark beeping back at them, and a human will always know when there's an Envoy present (unless shielded). Envoys can communicate using these fields, but it's either unconscious or a DELIBERATE act that is similar to physical gesturing, just talking with your emotions instead of talking with your hands.

As a result, these faux fields will actually be less maintained/regulated than a Cybertronain would typically allow. Kinda like walking in a house with or without shoes, if you don’t do it often, or don’t have someone teaching you, you’ll stick with what is convenient or suits your own preferences. In this case, humans just let it all out.

Now picture a Cybertronian, that uses their EM field as another form of subtle communication, interacting with an Envoy.

The 1% of Earth's population that’s just accidentally screaming death vibes and “I’m so bored” or “When’s lunch?” in the middle of a diplomatic meeting, while simultaneously offering a selection of very colorful threats and a good deal of blackmail.

And don't even get me started on the "normal" humans

[pettyprocrastination]

hey hey hey im gonna talk about my oc Damian cause I love him a whole lot and im rewatching game of thrones as my usual summer tradition( if you want to read about him and his wife annette you can read the zine theyre in right here)

So originally I made him as a game of thrones oc so we'll talk about it in that sense

Butch gnc noble Lord. very not cis and very not straight but doesn't really have a definitive label cause its medieval times but he knows who he is and what he wants and that's enough.

His entire family died in a shipwreck he was apart of, including his twin brother. Because he knew the reality of his situation as the last living kin of his family + his position as somebody who is afab that would have been married off for his family's name and estate, he took his brother's clothes and has since been disguised as him for his entire life.

Northern lord! Very big and quiet, has resting rage face fr.

Long black hair and pale skin. Often wearing fur coats because yknow. it's the north.

So fond of wearing black people joke that if he wasn't nobleblood he would be apart of the night's watch.

I know they don't have tobacco in got but im pretending they do because mans likes to sit and smoke by himself. Has a polished wooden pipe that he'll smoke from after a long day of court and sit by the fire to unwind.

Not fond of hunting, actually. He'll do it for social events if pushed to or do so out of necessity but ultimately doesn't see the point in the sport of it like Robert Baratheon does.

known as being antisocial. Goes to all the events and makes niceties with those he has to but for the most part he's quiet and closed off and so clearly wants to not be there. Known as a "would-be hermit" in noble circles.

thick and big. amen

[eimearkuopio]

I mean I went with "no and I'm pro choice" because I want to build a world where gender is irrelevant and also not assigned based on genitals, BUT we haven't built that world yet and I don't want to force anyone to be pregnant who doesn't want to be because I'm Irish and we know where that particular road paved with good intentions and caked in the blood of the women (mostly) who have gone before us leads.

Abortion should be legal everywhere; not because it isn't a sin, but because we don't legislate against every sin. Sin is when we treat people like things. The Catholic Church claims abortion treats babies like things, but actually, it treats babies and women* like people.

We can't legally take organs from the dead without their consent and/or the consent of their next of kin, even to save another life. We can't round up people and force them to donate blood, no matter how badly we need it or how short the supply is.

We shouldn't force women to share their bodily autonomy with anyone else unless they are doing so willingly. Especially given how often the resulting children have been neglected, even to the point of death, or stolen from their families and sold to people deemed "more worthy".

The atrocity is not in the individual women committing femicide, many of whom might choose to carry a daughter to term under different circumstances. The atrocity is a society that devalues women sufficiently that they might choose to kill their own daughters to spare them from this world - or takes the choice that should only ever be theirs away, and grants it to the man that society has decided should be put over them. If we build a society that values children, all of them, equally, that sees their potential as being of equal value, that does not proscribe their roles based on harmful traditions, femicide will never happen.

Love the sinner. Hate the sin. End the sin, but do it by valuing everyone more, not by reducing people to incubators to satisfy your own finite sense of justice.

*I'm going to talk about women here, not because only women get pregnant, but because it is a factually accurate statement that the overwhelming majority of pregnant people are women in at least some sense of that complicated word. Please don't see this as erasure; it's a simple model because I am a finite individual and I am Le Tired.

This is a bad idea but:

[kyanitedragon]

[Edit: I was wrong about a few things; check here for an explanation of the actual raws]

[ID: Panels from Viz's official english translation of Tokyo Ghoul chapter 109. Eto / Sen Takatsuki asks "What about the punky guy? What's your name?" Kaneki replies "Oh. How about... Kanaki. Kana as in Friday and Ki as in Thursday." In a later scene, Takatsuki asks Hide "Your name?" and Hide answers "Ken Kanaki. Like the days of the week. My first name is..." and trails off and Takatsuki stares at him, having heard the same thing before from Kaneki. End ID]

One of the biggest errors in the official english Viz translation are these scenes.

In the japanese (and the fan translations), Kaneki and Hide both give Eto his real name: Kaneki.

Kaneki's name is written 金木 (kane•ki)

His name uses the kanji 金 which is also in the japanese word 金曜日 (kin•you•bi) for Friday and 木 in 木曜日 (moku•you•bi) which means Thursday.

They even keep this explanation on how to spell it in the english translation (Despite it probably not making any sense to english readers that don't know how kanji works?) and yet mispell his name!

They even change Kaneki's dialouge a bit to make it seem like he's purposely giving Eto a fake name.

But he doesn't. And neither does Hide.

And not only that, but Kaneki's name being written properly in Hide's copy is vital for later in :re, when Haise can't figure out what kanji was used in Kaneki's name and so can't find any information on him. Until he gets the signed book as a "birthday" present - with Eto's signature written out to Kaneki's name, written in the proper kanji, and that is what jump-starts Haise's journey to recover his memories and his eventual downfall.

So yeah. Viz completely ruined that little plot point and I'm bitter about it.

(*金 can also be pronounced as "kana" too, so that's not exactly an error in the traditional sense, but there's no indication that they gave Eto a false name. I mean, why give a false name if you're going to spell it the same way as your real name?)

[djemsostylist]

I think my principal problem with Galadriel, as she is being conceived in the Amazon LOTR show, is my chief problem with how so much of modern media interprets female characters, with this idea that all female characters in all things must be able to do all the things a Man can do! Which I heartily, heartily disagree with.

I had this talk with @bonesingerofyme-loca while ago, about how I feel Warhammer handles woman exceptionally well, and that I don't feel like the lack of female space marines is problematic. In fact, one of the things that I love about Warhammer is that there aren't female space marines, because there don't need to be. Women fill very different roles in the story, and all of them are rich and deep and nuanced and incredibly important.

And then I was thinking about why Galadriel as "Commander of the Armies of the North" bugs me so much and I was flipping back through the Histories of Middle Earth and then some old fanfic I used to read (Celeborn/Galadriel is my jam) and it struck me. It's because, much like the Admirals of many a Legion, her power is not in the wielding of swords and the slaying of foes, it's in protection and strength and support (profound revelation I know)--so that when a war is waged and the men go out to fight, they have strength and support and, perhaps most importantly, the safety and security of a home to go back to. In many ways, Galadriel is the the Lotara Sarrin of Middle Earth, or the Athene DuCade. She holds fast and strong to their fortress and hovers over their shoulders to unleash hell, should it be needed, but she does not wield a sword directly.

And the thing is, this makes sense with Galadriel's character. Fans will argue that she has, in fact, wielded a sword. At the Kin-Slaying. And while this is true, I also think the fact that she never again chose to, but instead sought the teaching of Melian, for whom the greatest offense was in impenetrable defense, who could read the hearts of elves and men, whos strength allowed her husband to build and maintain a kingdom and wage the wars he needed to. And it's no surprise that this is the role she eventually takes on with Celeborn. I think the story of Galadriel, or Nerwen, is actually fascinating bc she originally sets out to be like her brothers and cousins. She wants to rule a kingdom and claim lands and fight. She is as tall and strong as powerful as any of her male counterparts (endless brothers and cousins) and even her mother name, Nerwen, means "Man Maiden".

But then comes the Kin-Slaying, and the first time she ever kills and it's kin. And I'd imagine that fundamentally changes her, because you can't go through that and not be changed. And so she finds another way. She enters Doriath and sees that there is another way to wield power, another path she might take to use her might and power and not wield a sword. And I find it interesting in becoming Galadriel, in giving up those dreams of being a queen a soldier and accepting her role as Protector, she and her husband have a far kinder fate than any that awaited her brothers and cousins. She and Celeborn rule, yes, but by all accounts their kingdoms are given to them, not taken, and their rule is that of protector and guardian. Celeborn fights--he is the soldier and Galadriel is his strength--he conquers the armies and she throws down the walls. They work together to achieve their goals, but Galadriel is not required to take on the more traditional man's role to accomplish their goals. In fact, but not doing so, they are some of the few elves who survive both the 1st and 2nd age intact.

To me, it's far more interesting to imagine the differing roles of men in women in various settings, and how those roles are shaped by the universe we are playing in, and how the characters respond to these differences. Men and woman are fundamentally different, and I see no need for characters to be written as though genders could be merely swapped out and the role wouldn't change at all.

[chronic-claire-universe]

CONGRATULATIONS FOR 500 FOLLOWERS <3

Okay so im an entp, im 19, my love language is physical touch, i kin chuuya from bungou stray dogs, i get very attached to the one i love, im wearing glasses, sometimes i have bad anxiety attacks, im sarcastic, i don't really get along with my father, i love walks on nature especially on the night time but not going alone, watching anime, getting on peoples nerves, owls, summer nights, thunderstorms, and having deep conversations late at night, i hate spiders, my former classmates, and waking up early.

My hobbies are painting, drawing, calligraphy, listening to music at 3 am.

Fandom : bungou stray dogs <3

Sfw but you can also include a little nsfw, if you would like to.

Hey Shinya welcome to the ice cream parlour, the info you gave me took me only to one flavor and I hope you like it:

Bungou Stray Dogs: Koyo Ozaki

I don't know your preference but I swear nothing could match better than Koyo for your personality!

In bsd universe you're definitely the second in comand under Koyo. Together you make the most cool and cruel couple of Port Mafia, when they say "looks could kill" they're talkin about you.

Your sense of humour, offend lot of people and Koyo is the only one that respect it and actually find it laughable.

She keep up with you cause you have many points in common. Because of this you have deep respect for her.

Chuuya respects you, and Koyo is really proud about this because she couldn't expect nothing more from the short and angry executive.

In the few time you have together, especially after a tiring mission, you're always at Chuuya's office tasting expensive wine just the three of you.

Dates with Koyo rarely happen, but when you have the time, shopping is definitely one of the main activity, and then tasting some tea in a traditional japanese tea room

After Kyoka left for the agency Koyo became really sad, although her demenaour couldn't let her display it, you knew she was having an hard time.

That's why you followed Kyoka and decided to do some photos while she was doing cute things. Koyo definitely improve her mood and turned to normal self.

She never said it, but she felt really attached to you when you did that, because deep down it's almost like you were saying that she was as normal human and she could live like that if she wanted to.

What you love to do inside domestic walls is drawing, painting nudes of her, you have a whole collection that only Chuuya saw once.

For her birthday you gifted her a poem that she takes in her pocket and read it when she wants to calm down and not provoke a slaughter.

If I have to give a name to your relationship with her I would say: The Killer Couple!

Hope you enjoyed this, see you 😊

[strapinandstraponyourstrapons]

most of my dumb headcanons are about who is queer, what kind of queer they are and why, and these are mostly not the "this is canon if you look closely" type headcanon - these are just me wanting to explore cool new kinds of characters. i'm sure it's of no use to anyone but i'm gonna take this excuse to ramble anyway so sorry for that, but it's pride month sooooo😂 here are some gender headcanons i have!

[also feel free to disagree or share your own headcanons, these are just some i think would be cute/meaningful to explore in fanfic🖤]

probably the one i've screamed the most about on here is nolan being a trans girl called nola. i think being pressured to be on the side of the hunters in the show's perfect allegory for discrimination and then defecting just does so much for me. i picture that she comes from a really traditional family and has never felt like she belonged with them because she was criticised for being soft as an amab person. so when the supernatural incidents and the anuk'ite cause her to feel so scared, monroe's radicalisation makes sense, because at the time she thinks the only way she can overcome this is by being the "real man" she's supposed to be and trying to develop a taste for violence. then when she realises that's not who she wants to be, her last hope of fitting into that traditionally masculine image crumbles and she's able to confront the more complicated parts of her identity she's been trying to squash out. obviously, the bones of what i just described work without nolan being trans and it's still a powerful story about gender norms and masculinity. however, i would defend the trans girl idea because a) she would be a fucking cute girl and b) because i said so {and c) i made everyone in my headcanon universe too gay and i need her and brett to be the token straights}

allison is soooooo genderqueer to me. she/they coded fr. we see this frustration she has over and over again with being a girly girl and feeling like it's a weakness, even though she clearly does like a lot of traditionally "feminine" activities and ways of presenting. and of course, she could totally be a cis girl and this is purely a case of internalised misogyny, and i think that's an aspect of her character that deserves more exploration, but i like the added detail in my mind that she might be trying to distance herself from certain aspects of that feminine image because it causes her dysphoria, although she doesn't recognise that for what it is yet. and as they grow older they learn both to not be sexist towards themself, to accept some of their softer parts (i think the way she changes the hunter code is actually a big part of this), and also that they don't like being put in a gender box and having all their feminine traits viewed as weakness.

i also had to shamelessly put it/its pronouns onto someone because i just like giving my own pronouns attention😌 but in my defence the reason for using them is quite removed from mine so it's not entirely projection. i think it's extremely valid to say that malia's experience of being a coyote for 8 years and then coming back to human and never fully adjusting is sooooo kinnie vibes. i feel like she eventually meets a therian (someone who kins an animal) and recognises that even though this person doesn't even know werecoyotes exist, they understand a surprising amount of what she feels, not feeling completely ~human~ all the time even though recognising that that's the body she's in. so it probably realises at that point that being a coyote is a significant part of who it is, and gets everyone in the pack to start using she/it as an acknowledgement of the more prominent coyote side and its somewhat disconnection from its humanity.

i'm also a big (and maybe the only) fan of chris argent being nonbinary because i wanted some older queers too, and argent has been such a cool evolving character over the course of the show. i think it would be so sweet for them to have started as the conservative hunter dad and evolved into the loving (but still a hard-ass) pack parent who understands how fear can make people let go of their ability to be kind to themselves and others, and make them repress their true selves. chris argent is kind of like teen wolf's way of showing "hey, you can still keep growing up and learning things as an adult - even with kids! and a mortgage! and grey hairs! and a family legacy of hunting down and murdering people in cold blood!" so i find them really fun to play with.

there's other ones that don't have an explanation based in canon that i just hc for fun, such as isaac (he/they/she) being genderfluid and corey (they/them) being nonbinary. i've also pondered trans man scott mccall, because he is the blueprint for positive masculinity and that makes me want to keep him as a man (although, what is positive masculinity if not just being a good person in general?) but i am always having the uncontrollable urge to make everyone trans. i'm also a big fan of cis characters completely disregarding gender norms, as evidenced by all my thiam brain rot about liam in a skirt, but bonus points if they're cis AND straight and just don't have hangups about their gender or sexuality being threatened. that shit is my jam.

anyway, if you read all this, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖

anyone got any wild/ funky teen wolf headcanons they wanna send me 👀👀 i need motivation to actually start working on my WIPs

[exhausted-dog-mom]

Isekai where the MC is a civilian Uchiha that survives the Massacre by being not very noteworthy and in the hospital at the time, essentially being overlooked by Itachi and Obito and Danzo not deeming them a threat.

You know, I actually had a similar idea once upon a time. The Twins from Round 4 were originally going to be Uchihas. I eventually changed my mind, obviously, but I still have ideas for a Massacre survivor. Thanks for giving me a reason to use them! xoxo

I'm too old for this shit.

That was the only thought that ran through my mind when my baby cousin was rushed into my room by nurses with wide eyes and pale faces. Never mind that my current body was not, in fact, too old for anything. At sixteen, I was in the prime of my life according to the strange world I lived in. I wasn't too young for anything, either, if the marriage proposals my aunts kept shoving at me were any indication.

My second thought was, well, at least I don't have to deal with that anymore. A little callous, perhaps, but I'd lived my whole second life in anticipation of this moment. It was hard to bond with anyone when you knew you were all going to die gruesome deaths in the near future. It was why I went out of my way to piss everyone off and not become a shinobi. Family tradition be damned. Why dedicate myself to a village that was just going to kill me off? It didn't make any sense. Instead, I lived my life doing whatever the hell I wanted so I would have no regrets when I died a second time. Not like the first time.

Lot of good that did me.

The kid in my arms was supposed to be the only survivor, but here we were. Together. Survivors. Plural.

Shit.

I wasn't even a ninja. How the hell was I supposed to protect the goddamned deuteragonist of the entire goddamned planet? Goddamnit.

Well, whatever. Tomorrow's problems could wait for tomorrow's me. Right now, all I could do was awkwardly hold the catatonic child in my arms. If I could manage to survive long enough, maybe his life would be quite as shitty.

***

Tomorrow's me immediately hated yesterday's me, but not as much as she hated today's council.

"What do you mean, ward of Village?" I demanded lowly. The old assholes shifted in their seats, but I knew they weren't really nervous. They thought they had the upper hand, and, if I was anyone else, they would. Alas for them, I didn't give a shit about propriety or politics. "You can't seriously be considering taking the heir of a founding clan away from his only remaining kin? Tsk, tsk, tsk, what would the Hyuuga say?"

Watching them sputter was hilarious.

"What do the Hyuuga have to do with this?

I smiled at Danzo, the action more a baring of teeth than an expression of amusement. "Because your stupid idea sounds stupidly close to eye theft. The kid stays with me. End of discussion."

I stood from the uncomfortable chair and left the Hokage's office with a flourish. Years of dodging marriage proposals and well-meaning aunties had given me the confidence needed to flounce away from even the most intimidating of opponents. Ooh, I bet Danzo was regretting letting me live, now. Ha!

But also, uh oh, because I just gave him a reason to regret letting me live. Hmm.

Time to gather some allies, methinks. To the Hyuugas we go!

[imaginaryskeleton]

Hetalia characters explained by my sibling who has never watched Hetalia part 2:

America: This bitch is definitely Sweden. He has a basic bitch name like John or Brian. He bakes biscuits a lot but fails. Like they're so bad but his friends don't want to make him to feel bad so tell him they're great. He had an emo phase. He does not need those glasses. Also he kins Draco Malfoy. He comes from a really rich family and so doesn't understand the whole concept of money because it's just always there

Holy Roman Empire: He's the other guy's little brother. He was almost a priest but ended up not because the only thing he liked about it was the clothes. He's hella into that fashion. (Me: what's his name and country?) His name is Chase and...he's Finland because the last one is Sweden. He cries in the shower but when he isn't crying he sings. He had an art thing when he was younger but it flopped and he's still salty. He wasn't bad at art he jut wasn't anything special. He was probably a bastard prince who was exiled from his kingdom. That sword he has is made of wood. (Me: how does he die?) Sweden kills him

Canada: His name is Matthias. He never learned how to get a fashion sense please god someone teach him how colour coordination works. He has a closet full of his brother's hand me downs and doesn't think about what he wears, he just grabs it and puts it on. He's secretly really sporty like he does gymnastics or something and when he's doing sports no one can tell it's him because he seems so different. He's secretly ripped but he never takes off his shirt. He probably smoked weed when he was 12. He really needs those glasses like he's blind as fuck

Japan: This is Giovanni. He's Japan. He saw some shit as a kid and now doesn't really process reality too well. He doesn't know how to wash his hair. Someone asked him if he uses shampoo once and he asked what kind of animal that is. He wanted to be someone's senpai but was always just an NPC. He has a fuck ton of scars and can name where each one is from. He had a phase in school where he'd get a ton of scars from doing handstands and stuff. He can't socialise and doesn't realise he has friends

Sweden: He kins Logan Sanders. He looks like a corporate mf who owns all the trade in Inida. He's a bastard. He cries. Those glasses are there just to make him seem more professional. He's dummy thicc beneath that suit. He got that tie from an ex-husband and would use it to strangle said ex-husband. He spent his grandmother's inheritance on that suit. He needs someone to teach him how to smile and a hair stylist

Iceland: Jonas. He makes stuffed toys and brings them to life. He's pushed to the sidelines but he actually has a lot to say. All the other country people's problems would be solved if they just listen to him for once. He babysit the younger ones and he's kinda strict but still fun. He can fight but he doesn't like fighting

Finland: His personality is baby but would stab a bitch. His dog is the same like he's trained to murder. He's lowkey manipulative but no one can tell because he's so sweet. He got really close to being murdered once and is angy about it. (Me: what's his favourite weapon?) You know those spiral knives? Yeah them. (Me: what's his name and country?) His name is Norman and I think he's on of the Nordics but idk which

China: This is Diyung. He looks like China but I don't want to seem racist. He's very hung up on tradition. When he gets angry it's refined anger. He has a lot of political power but doesn't use it. He had a cross dressing phase but a superior found out and forced him to stop by even though he loved it. He'd cut his hair and fight if it wasn't social taboo.

Hong Kong: This guy has no idea what's going on. He's basically Denki from BNHA. He won't tell anyone his real name and just says it's Perfume or something. He went to magic training to learn to anime sparkle but ended up getting dragged into some deep shit. Now he's traumatised and all he wanted to do was sparkle. The clothes make me want to say he's Thailand. He's been banned from smiling because his smile is so unnerving. He has no muscle mass. All he knows is snarkle and sparkle

Norway: His name is Lucile. He killed someone in his hometown so ran away and got a new identity. He never got therapy for it and he needs it. He refuses to admit he has friends but he has a lot. He'd wear a skirt if you paid him (me: what do you think about his hair clip?) He took it from the child he killed to remember them

Latvia: This is my son. He would be really smart but no one tells him shit so he isn't. His name is Lewis or Dewey

[butterflies-dragons]

What do you think about that interview from 2014 (I think) where GRRM said "and nephews and aunts" to point out how incest is not weird for Targs? I did my research and only found Aemon and his half-aunt Jocelyn Baratheon marriage as an example of what he said. Do you think he was thinking about j*nerys when he said that or was it just an expression? Because when I first entered this fandom I saw some people calling it an "irrefutable proof" for aegony and I actually don't know what to think lol

Hello @softvniverse:

This is GRRM’s quote from the 2014 interview you mentioned. The interview was about The World of Ice and Fire:

"Targaryens were interlopers from another culture and they had some unique factors that didn't necessarily fit into the mainstream of the other Westerosi lords such as their traditional incest which was part of keeping the bloodlines pure so that they could better control dragons, brother marrying sister, and nephews and aunts, and so forth."

[Source]

GRRM has covered the subject in The World of Ice and Fire: 

The tradition amongst the Targaryens had always been to marry kin to kin. Wedding brother to sister was thought to be ideal. Failing that, a girl might wed an uncle, a cousin, or a nephew; a boy, a cousin, aunt, or niece. This practice went back to Old Valyria, where it was common amongst many of the ancient families, particularly those who bred and rode dragons. "The blood of the dragon must remain pure," the wisdom went. Some of the sorcerer princes also took more than one wife when it pleased them, though this was less common than incestuous marriage. In Valryia before the Doom, wise men wrote, a thousand gods were honored, but none were feared, so few dared to speak against these customs.

This was not true in Westeros, where the power of the Faith went unquestioned. Incest was denounced as vile sin, whether between father and daughter, mother and son, or brother and sister, and the fruits of such unions were considered abominations in the sight of gods and men. With hindsight, it can be seen that conflict between the Faith and House Targaryen was inevitable.

It had long been the Valyrian custom to marry within the family, thus preserving the royal bloodlines. Yet this was not a custom native to Westeros, and was viewed as an abomination by the Faith. The Dragon and his sisters had been accepted without comment, and the issue had not arisen when Prince Aenys was wed in 22 AC to Alyssa Velaryon, the daughter of the king's master of ships and lord admiral; though she was a Targaryen upon her mother's side, this made her only a cousin. But when the tradition looked to continue yet again, matters came to a sudden head.

—The World of Ice and Fire - The Targaryen Kings: Aenys I

And he repeat it almost word by word in Fire & Blood:

The tradition amongst the Targaryens had always been to marry kin to kin. Wedding brother to sister was thought to be ideal. Failing that, a girl might wed an uncle, a cousin, or a nephew, a boy a cousin, aunt, or niece. This practice went back to Old Valyria, where it was common amongst many of the ancient families, particularly those who bred and rode dragons. The blood of the dragon must remain pure, the wisdom went. Some of the sorcerer princes also took more than one wife when it pleased them, though this was less common than incestuous marriage. In Valyria before the Doom, wise men wrote, a thousand gods were honored, but none were feared, so few dared to speak against these customs.

This was not true in Westeros, where the power of the Faith went unquestioned. The old gods were still worshipped in the North and the Drowned God in the Iron Islands, but in the rest of the realm there was a single god with seven faces, and his voice upon this earth was the High Septon of Oldtown. And the doctrines of the Faith, handed down through centuries from Andalos itself, condemned the Valyrian marriage customs as practiced by the Targaryens. Incest was denounced as a vile sin, whether between father and daughter, mother and son, or brother and sister, and the fruits of such unions were considered abominations in the sight of gods and men. With hindsight, it can be seen that conflict between the Faith and House Targaryen was inevitable. Indeed, many amongst the Most Devout had expected the High Septon to speak out against Aegon and his sisters during the Conquest, and were most displeased when the Father of the Faithful instead counseled Lord Hightower against opposing the Dragon, and even blessed and anointed him at his second coronation.

—Fire & Blood

As you can see, the ideal Valyrian marriage was between brother and sister. Only Failing that, a girl might wed an uncle, a cousin, or a nephew, a boy a cousin, aunt, or niece.

And the reason behind that was to keep the bloodlines pure so that they could better control dragons.

Now, in Westeros, according to the Faith, the incest that was forbbiden was between father and daughter, mother and son, or brother and sister. For example:

Craster and his daughters (father & children)

Jaime and Cersei (brother & sister)

Marriages between cousins, uncle and niece or aunt and nephew are allowed in Westeros. For example:

Jonnel Stark and Sansa Stark (uncle & half niece)

Rickard Stark and Lyarra Stark (cousins)

Tywin Lannister and Joanna Lannister (cousins)

Jon Snow and Arya Stark from the so called “original outline” (cousins)

About Targaryen marriages, it is true that Aemon Targaryen married his half aunt Jocelyn Baratheon. There was also Maegor Targaryen that married her half brother Aenys’ daughter, Rhaena Targaryen, Rhaenyra Targaryen married her father’s younger brother, Daemon Targaryen. Daemon’s second wife was also his niece, Laena Velaryon, granddaughter of Aemon and Jocelyn.    

Do I think GRRM was thinking about j*nerys when he said that or was it just an expression? 

I don’t think he was thinking about Jon and his aunt as a couple.  Daenerys already controls 3 dragons and that’s because she is the daughter of a brother and sister marriage (Aerys II and Rhaella), and Dany’s parents were the children of a brother and sister marriage as well (Jaehaerys II and Shaera).  

So about "irrefutable proof" for aegony... Nope.

The marriage of aunt and nephew was not taboo for Valyrians and it was also allowed in Westeros. Happened between Targaryens, happened between Starks. If Jon and his aunt decided to get married there would be no problem with religion or morals, maybe some opposition for political or historical reasons since Targaryen are not loved in the North, they remember about Rickard, Brandon and Lyanna.

That’s why Jon discovering he banged his aunt and be repulsed about it, had no sense in the Show. Not even that comment about Jon being a religious guy and rejecting his aunt because of that. There was already an uncle/half niece marriage in House Stark. GRRM originally planed a pseudo incest angsty romance between Starks, brother and sister, that later discover they were cousins and free to love each other. While the Show gave us some kind of unwilling incest with a made up angst that lacked chemistry.

I expect something better and that makes sense from the Books.       

Thanks for your message. 

[sonntam]

I agree, that this is what the text is saying and the message is in the game.

However, I think that the game does not put their money where their mouth is. It speaks about a lot of cool ideas, but I don't see how post-canon developments (particularly from P2) supports those ideas.

It is only after the Plague, the ultimate challenge to whatever sense of status quo or normality (as we all should be aware of lmao), that the Town can move on toward a balanced future, with the old power structures gone.

Like, here for example. The old power structures are not gone. Three families still exist and if anything under Capella's guidance the Kain + Olgimsky families will be united and may become even stronger (completely dismissing Saburovs).

What old power structures do you yourself see being removed post-canon?

The Polyhedron and the resulting decease could be interpreted as attempts at rapt revolution, which, naturally, always end in disaster. Russia would know.

Russia indeed would not! A failed revolution is always a reason to go back to conservatism and stick to doing things the way they used to get done. In my opinion, this is exactly what we see in Burakh's/Clara's endings. (With the Utopian ending I also have a bone to pick, though not for conservativeness reasons.)

Characters struggle with their heritage, torn between what's expected of them and their own understanding of the world (Burakh's whole arc). Katarina struggles with the very traditional role imposed on her, resulting in her becoming a literal opioid addict. Capella thinks she has to protect everyone herself, despite being a teen.

Is it really a flaw big enough to say that the traditional roles are being challenged?

I would say it's a system working as intended. After all, life is not sunshine and daisies. Any rigid system will have it's issues, the question is simply about how those problems will get solved.

The solutions that canon proposes are not "remove old roles, let new people take control". Rigid classist structures remain. It's still the rich families in the lead. Rigid sexist structures remain. The female leaders still are strictly overseeing only the spiritual side of the town.

There is no desire in any characters to tear the systems down and to open up the roles, allowing more people to bear responsibility.

Life sucks, but gotta deal with it, right? The kids will figure things out, somehow. No need to create a completely new power structure.

Also I'd argue that preserving certain things is good, actually.

This is another thing I am bitter about. While Pathologic is conservative, it's conservative about the "new" order. That one gets preserved! The three families, the spiritual female leaders and all that stuff.

However the truly "old" order of the Kin is not worth restoration, integration or protection. It is lamented that it will fade away, but in the end I see no real future for them in any of the endings. Clara's ending comes closest to it, but as I've said in other reblogs, I don't think it's revolutionary enough.

Preserving the Kin would be very valuable and cool. It's just not being done in the game, though.

What is most Russian about Pathologic is the saccharine desire to find utopia in the past.

The kids are a reflection of their parents... a good mother has a good daughter, like Capella. A "bad" mother begets Maria.

The character of Burakhs gets passed on from father to son... while the mother is a mere reflection of the town which dissolves the Kin heritage which Burakh and Isidor try to hold on to.

The hope is that the children will be like their parents, only, a little bit better. Still the same in all the ways that matter. A leader only sires leaders. And biggest failure a mother can have is to be barren and purposeless...

The classic conservative leanings are so, so strong.

God forbid anything meaningfully changes, ever. Stretch the mind, but find comfort in the old unchanging structures.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Francisco Angones

Directed by: John Aoshima

Storyboard by: Jean-Sebastien Duclos, Jason Reicher, Sam King

The calm before the shadowy storm...or is it?

Previously on DuckTales 2017, Dewey found a note on the back of a portrait that happened to have the same handwriting as Della Duck’s! While following the clues on it only led to a prank involving a hat that was meant for Donald Duck, Huey takes the note and uses a pencil to mark it. Apparently, that’s a Junior Woodchuck tradition, and not just another Adam West Batman style riddle solving!

It revealed these dates, and something that looks like the tip end of a spear. It even happens to be labeled the Spear of Selene! Clearly, unlike the ending of Other Bin, they didn't want to wait a few episodes before coming back to that! Surely enough, it will be brought up again in this delightful comedy romp known as “The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!”

...yeah, something tells me this won't be pretty.

The episode begins with a trip to the country of Monacrow, and everyone has their own reasons for enjoying the vacation. The boys, Webby, and Launchpad are interested in a convention called E.X.C.E.S.S., which has many star attractions, like...

Webby: Experimental racecars?

Huey: Lasers?

Launchpad: Aeroplanes?

Subtle! Mrs. Beakley also shows up to use up one of her stacked up vacation days on one of Monacrow's beaches. Who would have guessed they would use vacation days to not write off a character, but actually get one involved in a plot?

Scrooge, in particular, is more interested in the Maltese MacGuffin, which happens to be something of massive worth. It's both a reference to the trope, and a reference to one of the most famous uses of it. He also talks about how having the nephews around has made him more energetic than he ever was in a long time! Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmmmm.

They all aboard the plane, and right from the get-go, there's problems. After Mrs. Beakley is utterly shocked about the massive amounts of safety violations on a plane usually boarded by young children, including having a pilot known for crashing planes, Scrooge tells her there's nothing to worry about. He tells Launchpad to give Mrs. Beakley a tour of the ship. While he's away, he's going to take the wheel.

Mrs. Beakley tells him he doesn't know how to fly a plane, but Scrooge McDuck says that he he's Scrooge McDuck, and that seems like a good excuse for anything. Throughout most of this episode, his ego is through the roof, but why not? Right from the beginning, he seems like this invincible hero who can do anything.

Meanwhile, in a large wooden box, the boys and Webby piece together a bunch of pieces of a photograph that Louie snuck into the car, along with a few other things. Apparently, this all came from that wacky librarian from The Great Dime Chase.

While Dewey learned his lesson from the last episode, the theme of secrets still holds true for Scrooge. They feel that if Scrooge finds out about this, he'll shut down the entire operation. Much like Dewey, a lot of this is based on assumptions; if he wanted to shred these papers, clearly this has to be something Scrooge doesn't want people to know.

They manage to piece together almost all of the photograph, except for this one large piece that happens to be right in the middle. Half the episode becomes Dewey trying to get this one piece of photograph. Unfortunately, as soon as Dewey across towards this piece, the plane starts shifting forwards and backwards.

They go out of the box, doing some inconspicuous whistling when Mrs. Beakley asks them what they are up to. Well, the boys do, Webby just sings "inconspicuous whistling". They soon see what exactly happened, as we see Scrooge getting angry at the plane. He can't blame himself, he's Scrooge McDuck.

While Scrooge McDuck has many talents, flying a plane isn't one of them. It’s not a Launchpad crash, either, but a crash that ends up putting the plane on top of a "10,000 meter speedbump". Needless to say, this episode isn't going to end with racecars, lasers, or aeroplanes that aren't the titular Sunchaser.

Scrooge tries to get the plane out of this situation, because he's Scrooge McDuck, he can solve anything! That seemed to work for most episodes, but it does not work here, as anything he tried to do only made things worse.

Of course, the Sunchaser being on top of a small spire-shaped peak means that balance is absolutely everything. Unlike most episodes, there's no real villain in this episode outside of gravity. It's a high concept episode, there's no B plot happening anywhere else. Maybe.

For example, Launchpad accidently drives a car into the large door of the Sunchaser, causing the plane to lean backwards. Eventually, the door opens, and Launchpad is hanging on. We get to see some cool moments with Scrooge, having him jump up on a box that's sliding down and being able to rescue him from falling off. It's like an action movie.

Not that Scrooge gets all the fun, Mrs. Beakley gets a lot of great moments, too. Throughout the episode, she's trying her best to keep the kids safe, and arguing with with Scrooge about how he's endangering everyone. She really wants Scrooge to admit that he can't fix this problem, but Scrooge is having none of that. Under Scrooge, nothing bad is going to happen to the children! Or, as he accidently says...

Scrooge: Nothing bad is going to happen to her!

Mrs. Beakley: ...hmm?

Scrooge Er, kids.

This is our first big hint that Scrooge is not just acting the way he is in this episode because of his sense of self-worth or for the safety of his kin. This becomes far more apparent near the end of the episode. It's clear that this isn't just about Scrooge's war against Isaac Newton.

The kids eventually have to stick to one place, as much as Dewey really needs that one piece of the photograph.

Launchpad tries to give some in-flight entertainment with a nice nod to Darkwing Duck. Hopefully we’ll get to see him, or his actor, next season. Sadly, the tape only repeats the same section of credits over and over again due to damage to the VCR caused by the crash. They eventually start to sing the portion of the theme song. The lone exception being Dewey, who just can't take it anymore.

Huey gets an idea: go to the opposite way Dewey is going, keeping balance, allowing Dewey to get the piece of the photo. Eventually, Scrooge spots Dewey with the piece of the photograph, and asks what he has. Dewey, left with no choice, decides to give Scrooge that piece, only for it to blow away to the same spot where Launchpad crashed the car from earlier.

Dewey chases after the photograph, while Scrooge chases Dewey. It's the slowest chase scene ever, due to Mrs. Beakley ordering them to be careful to not to make the title fit. That joke would have been a lot better on shows that I actually judge the titles on, I realize. Scrooge is only trying to grab Dewey to save his life.

Scrooge: I'm only trying to save your life, so come back here before I have to end it!

Obviously, Scrooge doesn't mean this, but he's getting a bit unhinged.

Eventually, the box where the secret hideout was hits the door and breaks open, revealing the hideout and all the pieces of information that were nailed to its interior. Mrs. Beakley notices the paper in Webby's skirt, which happens to be the Spear of Selene picture from earlier. Her reaction to this seems to be telling.

Mrs. Beakley: Oh, children, what have you been up to?

She doesn't do anything else to the nephews and her granddaughter about this, mostly because what will happen a few seconds later will heavily, but this line read is a clear sign that whatever secrets that Spear of Selene holds is not going to be pretty.

While the paper with the Spear on it is taken, the little piece of the photo gets blown out of the window by a gust of wind. Of course, that doesn’t stop Dewey from leaping out onto the Sunchaser, chasing after it. Scrooge utters to himself, "no, not again". Anyone who's watching this show will know this is referring to his side of the Della mystery.

Dewey's reckless endangerment even scares the other nephews and honorary niece, and they ask Dewey to forget about this and love the family he has. Dewey is having none of that, and neither does the viewer; we're not going to have another cop-out. Scrooge eventually has to ask what he can do to get Dewey to listen to him. Dewey, in no uncertain terms, decides to ask him for the truth.

Dewey: (holding up photograph) Tell me about the Spear of Selene!

We saw this scene in the trailers, and that’s definitely something people would want to see Scrooge answer. Scrooge eventually nods his head, grabs Deweys hand, and gathers everyone together for the big story.

No, there's no cop-out here. The longer answer, as I said before, is that it is not pretty. The even longer answer should be figured out by watching the episode. I would stop here, but this is the kind of ending I need to talk about. This episode was already good enough that a cop-out wouldn't have made this a below-average episode.

However, I'm sorry to inform that this is not the twist you will be watching. The twist you are about to see is extremely unpleasant. If you wish to see a film about three bug-eyed freaks that beat the stuffing out of monkeys, I'm sure there's still copies on eBay.

← The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck! ☆ The Shadow War! →

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Alright, fine, in the immortal words of a Dark Souls soapstone message, "time for tears".

I honestly thought they were going to stretch the Della plot into the Season 2, but lo and behold, Scrooge manages to keep his word. He’s not a hypocrite, just like how he promised Webby that all she had to do to know about the number one dime was to ask, all Dewey had to do was ask. No need to keep secrets, we learned that in the last episode.

Even in this episode, it’s hinted that the Della situation is not going to be a bright and cheery one, and oh boy, oh boy. It all started before the nephews were even hatched.

She went on many different adventures across the entire world, until there just wasn't anything left. Eventually, she decided that. Donald was completely against this, because it's too dangerous. Scrooge decided the best plan was to buy the Spear of Selene, and keep it a surprise from both Donald and Della.

...that is, a big rocketship in the shape of one. Unfortunately, Della finds out about this surprise because she's that clever. Della takes the Spear, leaving a note.

Scrooge tries to get Della to abort the mission and come back home, but Della wasn't having any of it. After all, she was Della Duck! Needless to say, there's a lot of parallels between this and everything else in the episode. However, there is one big difference...

Scrooge: I couldn't keep her safe. The rocket and your mother were lost...in the empty abyss of space.

Major props to David Tennant’s performance here. I had no doubt that he would do well as Scrooge. Donald wasn't too happy when he heard about this, and they never spoke again until the fateful day the nephews met Scrooge. This is completely understandable, and I bet it's even more understandable that telling your nephews that your Uncle indirectly caused your mother's disappearance may not make them like you.

Dewey: Cool...so you're the reason why our Mom is gone.

My earlier assertion that there are no true villains in this episode except for gravity becomes not an opinion shared with any of the characters aside from Scrooge and maybe Launchpad after this story. Symbolically, the plane starts to teeter and totter as the boys accuse him of being a greedy person who didn't even try to save their mother.

Webby shares her two cents as well, and Scrooge immediately tells her to stay out of family matters, as she isn't family. It felt like she became this honorary niece a few episodes ago, so this is a stab in the heart. This earns the anger of Mrs. Beakley. The anger continues until the Sunchaser falls off the spire into a regular Launchpad-style crash. Did anyone forget about that?

On the bright side, Uncle Donald finally fixed that houseboat, and everyone else managed to survive and walked all the way back to Duckburg! Donald Duck shows off the freshly painted houseboat, which is fully repaired, and ready to go back to the Marina. The boys tell their not-a-rich-mother-killer uncle about what happened, and all Donald can say is, "oh."

While they are bummed out, the nephews are glad that they don’t have to live with that money-grubbing tyrant that caused their mother to get lost in space due to his greediness. Actually, that’s not bright at all. There's nothing but tears at this point.

As Scrooge is sitting in his chair, everyone leaves the Manor, even Duckworth. I wouldn't know if it's even possible for a ghost to leave the mansion he's haunting, and that never comes up again in the next episode as far as I can tell. We see another flashback, and it's even more heartbreaking than the first.

Unbeknownst to everyone else, he did try to use his riches to find Della. The Vulture Capitalists have to forcibly restrain him from wasting so much money to reverse his biggest mistake. Well, it’s also her biggest mistake, but nobody seems to blame Della for abandoning her kids before they even hatched. There's some moral ambiguity here, and whether they'll address that is up in the air.

We even see the money bin get smaller and smaller. I actually didn’t even notice that, even in this cartoon’s modern day, he never managed to get it back to the heights it was generally shown to be in previous iterations of the Scrooge McDuck mythos.

Actually, speaking of “the beginning”, this shot at the very end may take that way further than I thought at first.

This is a recreation of Scrooge’s very first appearance in the original comics, back when he wasn’t too far off from his namesake. It's a neat touch; it also references him before he met Donald, and this would be a horrifying bookend. Thankfully, there's another episode.

I was thinking that this episode was going to be the calm before the shadowy storm, but it turns out that the episode before was the calm before the storm. But after a storm, there tends to be a rainbow, and anyone can expect that the next episode would be that rainbow. But...how? I just couldn't wait to find out, and that's something an episode should be proud of.

How does it stack up?

I never thought I would spend any percentage of my day crying over Disney ducks, but here we are. It’s an action-packed thrill ride and a heartbreaker in all of the best ways.

This is the best episode of the series so far, and definitely something I want to see the conclusion to. We might not see if Della is truly gone or not, but maybe the “get the kids back together” plot. Oh, and that Lena plot, too. I guess that’s important. As much as this image is very unfitting for this episode...

Next, prepare to be drafted for the finale of DuckTales Season 1.

← The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck! ☆ The Shadow War! →