#i don't know if I'm explaining it well. but those are my thoughts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justabigassnerd · 1 day ago

Text

New Relationships

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Word count - 13.2K

Warnings - angst, arguing, swearing, fluff

Summary - you meet someone new, and while at first you don't get on... you soon change your tune

A/N - it's time for the return of Hangman Junior y'all! it's certainly been a long time coming and it's been so fun getting back into this universe! I do apologise if this fic isn't great I was trying my best lol. but I hope y'all enjoy (and don't worry I'm planning a follow up fic that'll go more into the stuff that happened at the end). as per y'all please send in requests, feedback, and enjoy!!!

Growing up, Javy had always been a staple in your life. He was your dad’s best friend and he had played a huge part in your upbringing. You had even regularly spent nights at Javy’s house when your dad was away. With all the time you had spent with Javy, you thought you knew him better than most.

But you didn’t know that he had concealed a secret no one other than Jake knew about.

One day while Bradley was up in the air, training some of the newest recruits that had joined Top Gun, Jake was lounging in the rec room, listening to all the conversations happening up in the air on the small radio. Javy had been in the room but had to step out of the room when his phone began to ring.

“You got this, Bradley,” Jake muttered with a small smile as he listened to his husband explaining what flight exercise he and the other recruits would be doing. Jake had loved seeing how much Bradley’s confidence had grown since the uranium mission. He had stopped hesitating so much up in the air and had truly become a fighter pilot others would fear when in a dogfight.

As Jake listens carefully to the radio, chuckling to himself when he hears the cocky remarks from the new trainees who reminded him of himself, Javy comes back into the rec room, visibly shaken as he moves to sit down, collapsing on the couch opposite Jake who is instantly concerned about his best friend.

“Whoa, Coyote, what’s up man?” Jake asks worriedly, now distracted from listening to the radio and giving his best friend his full attention.

“I just got a call from CPS. Iris has been caught drunk and high in her house. They’re removing Mateo from her care and wanting him to move in with me.” Javy explains, propping his elbows on his lap and burying his face in his hands as he lets out a sigh.

“She what?” Jake asks, eyes wide in shock as he processes what Javy has just said to him.

“Apparently some teachers at school were concerned about Mateo and called CPS to investigate the house and they found Iris high as a kite with some random guy in the house while Mateo was nowhere to be found and Iris sure as hell had no idea where he was.” Javy elaborates, dropping his hands and looking at Jake who softens in sympathy for his best friend, getting up from where he was sitting and moving to sit next to Javy.

“Well, he’s gotta come out here, right? He shouldn’t be shoved into the system.” Jake says as if it was the most obvious answer.

“I know. They’ve said they want to call again later to figure out when will be best for him to fly out here. I just don’t know how to tell anyone about this.” Javy says quietly as he glances over at Jake, his eyes displaying every ounce of emotion he is feeling.

Javy had never been as open about his private life. He told the Daggers bits and pieces but he had closely guarded secrets that only Jake knew about. The biggest one of those secrets is his son Mateo.

Mateo was not much younger than you, only a few months give or take. Javy had been in college and met a pretty girl at a party. The alcohol in his system definitely helped aid the decision he made to sleep with her that night. A couple of weeks down the line, Iris discovered that she was pregnant and both she and Javy had made the joint decision to keep and raise their baby together as they continued their college journey. By the time they graduated, Mateo had been born and was a couple of months old. Iris was well aware of Javy’s intentions to join the Naval Academy and train to become an aviator but just as he began his training, they had a huge argument which led to Iris moving away and taking Mateo with her. It broke Javy’s heart to watch her take his son and leave, so much so that he opted to keep Mateo’s entire existence a secret to hide his heartbreak from everyone around him. After meeting Jake and discovering that Jake had a daughter of his own, he found himself inclined to open up about his son but made sure that Jake promised to keep this information a secret. And true to his word, Jake kept it a secret, even from Bradley and from you.

Javy had always made attempts to visit Mateo as he grew up. Every Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday he’d travel to Utah in an attempt to spend some time with his son. Yet no matter how much he tried, Iris would refuse to let him spend a decent amount of time with Mateo, and he was never allowed to invite Mateo to spend time with him once he settled in Miramar. Javy just couldn’t make any sense of it. Half the time he was sure she didn’t care for their son but the moment Javy would mention visiting or paying for a flight so that Mateo could come to Miramar, she’d start claiming that she didn’t want her son to get hurt by Javy, seemingly ignoring the amount of effort Javy was willing to put in just for a short visit.

“Hey, we’ll figure it out together, okay? They already love y/n, so I can’t imagine any reason why they’d not love Mateo too.” Jake’s gentle voice shakes Javy from his thoughts, causing him to look over at Jake and offer him a soft smile.

“I don’t feel like I’m prepared for this,” Javy whispers, worry in his voice as Jake offers his friend a supportive smile moving to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“Nothing could prepare you for this, but I’m going to help. Go and tell Maverick you’ve had a family emergency and that you need to head home, he’ll understand. Then go home and check out your spare room, text me a list of things you think you’ll need for the room for when Mateo arrives. And while you call CPS to organise Mateo moving out here, I’ll run by the store and then meet you at your house.” Jake says, explaining his thought-out plan as Javy nods, inhaling sharply before standing up and moving to exit the room. Upon realising that Jake wasn’t following him, Javy turned to look over at Jake.

“Are you not coming?” He asks, confused as to why Jake wasn’t coming when he had made it clear that he intended to join him.

“I’ll come along later. Bradley’s awful at checking his phone at work so I need to tell him what I’m doing face to face otherwise he’ll damn near have an aneurysm when he realises I’m not around. Just make sure Maverick knows I’ll be leaving too.” Jake says with a chuckle, waving his hand to dismiss Javy who nods before rushing out of the rec room in search of Maverick.

When Bradley had landed, Jake had rushed out to meet him on the tarmac, with Bradley beaming as Jake approached.

“It’s not often my husband meets me out on the tarmac. What’s up?” Bradley says as the two reach each other.

“Coyote’s had a last-minute family emergency so I’ve offered to help him out. I just wanted to let you know before I went off to help. I don’t need you panicking when you can’t find me.” Jake explains, watching as Bradley’s smile fades slightly in worry.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, concerned about Javy.

“I’ll explain everything when we’re both home, okay? I promise.” Jake says, keeping a small smile on his face to try to keep Bradley from worrying too much about what could be happening.

“Okay. I’ll see you later.” Bradley says with a sigh before leaning in to press a quick kiss to Jake’s lips to bid him a silent goodbye. After they break apart, Jake whispers a quiet goodbye before backing away and heading back into the building to gather up his things before heading out to his truck so he can head to the nearest store.

As Jake pulls into a parking spot, his phone buzzes with a message from Javy consisting of a list of things he needs Jake to buy in anticipation of Mateo’s arrival. As Jake enters the store, he begins to come up with a game plan to get in and out in as little time as possible so he can get back to Javy as quickly as possible. Jake went up and down each aisle, grabbing the things Javy needed, doing his best to pick things he thought a teenage boy would like. Jake picked up a couple of various plain coloured covers for the spare bed in Javy’s spare room, he grabbed some snacks he thought Mateo might like to try and make everything seem a little more homely. When Jake had finished shopping, he loaded all the bags into the backseats of his truck before getting behind the wheel and driving to Javy’s house.

Upon arriving at Javy’s house, he unloads the shopping and approaches the front door, knocking on the wooden door and waiting patiently for Javy to let him in.

“Thank you for doing this,” Javy says gratefully the moment he opens the door and sees Jake on the other side, stepping aside to allow him into the house.

“It’s no problem,” Jake says with a friendly smile as he follows Javy into the living room, both men unpacking the bags and sorting things while making quiet conversation.

“How much do I owe you?” Javy asks, reaching for the receipt he found at the bottom of one of the bags, stopping only when Jake snatches the piece of paper from the bag before Javy can reach it himself.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Jake says, beginning to fold the receipt up and holding it away from Javy as he attempts to reach out for it.

“Come on, man. You just went to the store and spent however much money on stuff for my son when you didn’t have to. I owe you.” Javy says, letting out a frustrated huff when Jake continues to hold the receipt out of reach and eventually tucking it into his pocket to conceal it from Javy as he softens.

“You’ll never owe me anything. You’ve looked after y/n more times than I can count. The least I can do is help you organise everything for when Mateo arrives.” Jake says gently, a supportive smile on his face as Javy smiles back, overwhelmed with gratefulness towards his friend.

“We should probably take all this stuff upstairs and start setting up his room. I called CPS and they told me he’d be flying out within the next couple of days, they’re just in the process of getting flights and sorting out everything he wants to bring with him.” Javy explains as the two men begin to head upstairs with some of the newly bought items.

“Whenever he flies out, I’m more than happy to help however you want me to. Give me a call and I’ll be there.” Jake promises as they reach the spare room, entering the room as Javy smiles appreciatively.

“Thank you, Jake,” Javy says, as he approaches the bed both men beginning to strip the old bedding off and replace it with the new things Jake had bought.

“Maybe when Mateo arrives you can take him to Home Depot or something and do up this room with colours and decorations that he’d want. That might help him settle in a little better.” Jake suggests as he puts a new cover on one of the pillows, fluffing it as he goes.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll offer it to him as an option when he arrives. I’ve taken a few days off work to make sure everything’s ready and to help Mateo settle in.” Javy says as he unfolds the new bedspread.

“Good plan. Having one-on-one time with you will surely help him settle in.” Jake agrees, taking the other half of the bedspread and helping Javy make the bed.

“Obviously I have to enrol him at a high school, y/n’s school should take him, right?” Javy asks, looking over at Jake who nods.

“They’ll be considerate of your circumstances I’m sure. They’re pretty used to accepting new students during the year. I’ll vouch for you if needed.” Jake says, confident that your high school would accept Mateo with little to no questions asked. The two men continue to finish setting up the room, making sure it’s clean and tidy in anticipation of Mateo’s upcoming arrival.

“Hey, maybe we could have a get-together when Mateo’s settled? Maybe a barbeque on the beach or something so he can get to know the Daggers.” Javy proposes, receiving an enthusiastic nod from Jake.

“That sounds good. It’ll give him a chance to get to know y/n as well before he’s tossed into school. He can at least then know one person when he starts school.” Jake says in agreement, focusing on making sure everything looks neat. When they finished preparing the room, they headed downstairs and Jake helped Javy organise the newly bought snacks, arranging them neatly in a basket to act as a warm welcome. Once everything is prepared, Javy walks Jake to the front door, thanking him with a large hug.

“I have no idea how to thank you, Jake.” Javy mumbles as the two men embrace.

“You don’t need to. You’ve been there for me more times than I can count. It’s my turn to be there for you.” Jake says softly, pulling away from the hug and squeezing Javy’s shoulder slightly with a supportive smile before they both bid each other goodbye and Jake makes his way out to his truck to head home.

When Jake gets home, he unlocks the door and is greeted by an enthusiastic Moose who bounds around Jake’s feet, whining for attention until Jake begins to pet him. After Moose begins to quiet down, Jake hears footsteps approaching and looks up to see Bradley entering the hall. Jake hadn’t anticipated Bradley being home already but he also knew he hadn’t been keeping track of time while at Javy’s.

“Hey,” Jake says softly, skirting around Moose and approaching Bradley to press a soft kiss on his lips.

“Hey. How’s Coyote?” Bradley asks after pulling away from the kiss, immediately wanting to know what was up and whether Javy is okay.

“Come on, let’s sit down and I’ll tell you everything. y/n’s out isn’t she?” Jake says, following Bradley into the living room with Moose on their heels, both men settling down on the couch as Moose hops up alongside them, laying his head in Jake’s lap.

“y/n said she was going to Lily’s house after school today, she won’t be back for a while I know she’s excited to see her again after so long,” Bradley confirms, remembering how you had told him that your friend Lily had been someone you knew when you were younger and had moved away from due to Jake’s job, as he focuses solely on Jake as he waits patiently for an explanation. As Jake talks, Bradley has his full attention on him, hanging on to his every word. He was shocked at the revelation that Javy had a son, but he could also understand why he had kept it a secret. After all, he’d kept his broken relationship with Maverick a secret from everyone when they all came back to Top Gun. Once Jake has finished talking, Bradley nods slightly in understanding.

“I get why Javy kept it a secret from everyone. And I’m more than willing to help out in any way I can when Mateo moves here. I’m sure y/n will be the same.” Bradley says, smiling supportively at Jake who nods.

“We’re trying to figure out when will be the best time to tell y/n. She’s known Javy all her life and this is a big piece of information to find out days away from Mateo’s arrival.” Jake explains, guilt written all over his face as he talks.

“Hey, she’ll understand. It might take a little while to come to terms with it but she’ll be there for Javy when it counts.” Bradley says reassuringly, reaching to squeeze Jake’s hand, both men smiling softly at the comfort of the contact.

By Friday afternoon, Mateo was due to fly to San Diego, Javy, Jake, and Bradley had come to the conclusion that it would be best that you knew about Mateo before he arrived so you’d have time to process the news.

“Dad, Uncle Javy is here!” You call through the house, after opening the door, smiling at Javy as Moose nudges the man, desperate for attention.

“Hey, Kit-Kat.” Javy greets, reaching out to ruffle your hair as you lightly grumble, swatting at his hand as he enters the house. Javy follows you into the living room where Jake and Bradley are just walking through the living room from the kitchen to meet Javy, all of the men smiling as they greet each other.

“Let’s sit down, shall we?” Bradley says, gesturing towards the couch as you sit down on the couch, your dads sitting on either side of you while Javy opts to sit on the armchair.

“What did you guys need to talk about? It’s not bad is it?” You ask worriedly, eyes flicking between each man as if you could tell what they might talk about judging by their reactions.

“It’s not bad, promise,” Jake says softly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you into his side to comfort you.

“Well, what is it then?” You ask, looking over at Javy who sighs lightly, resting his arms on his legs and squeezing his hands together as he prepares himself to speak.

“This might be a shock to hear but… I have a son.” Javy says quickly, looking up at you as your eyebrows furrowed, trying to make sense of what you just heard.

“What? Since when?” You ask, confused at the news.

“Since before I met your dad. We had Mateo while I was in my last year of college, and just as I was preparing to go to the Naval Academy, his mother and I got into a pretty nasty argument to the point she took Mateo and left. I tried my best to visit him on holidays or just whenever I could but let’s just say Iris wasn’t very welcoming. But long story short, Iris has been caught being an inappropriate guardian for Mateo and I’ve offered to be his guardian. He’s flying out here tomorrow.” Javy explains, studying your reaction carefully as you finally look at him.

“Why didn’t I know?” You ask quietly. Deep down you knew it was unreasonable to ask, but you had known Javy for so long that you were shocked that you had never known.

“How long have you two known?” You ask, turning on Jake and Bradley who exchange sad glances.

“I’ve known since Javy and I became friends. Bradley only found out a couple of days ago.” Jake explains softly, his heart breaking at the look on your face.

“So you said he’s flying out tomorrow?” You ask, steeling your expression and turning back to Javy who nods.

“Yeah, we were thinking on Sunday we’d have a barbeque or something on the beach as a welcome party so he could get to know everyone.” Javy then says, continuing to watch your reactions as you nod, your mood significantly dampened even as you try to hide it.

“That sounds like a good idea.” You say, a forced smile on your face as you nod before getting to your feet and heading up to your room with a quiet goodbye. The moment you’re out of the room, Javy’s head drops, a sigh escaping his lips.

“She hates me,” Javy says quietly, his heart hurting that he had upset you.

“She doesn’t hate you. It’s just a big piece of news to process. I bet you any money that by Sunday she’ll have come around. She just needs a little bit of time.” Jake assures Javy softly, both he and Bradley watching Javy carefully as he nods quietly.

“I should probably head home. Mateo flies in pretty early tomorrow and I want to make sure everything’s all ready for him. Some stuff has already been shipped over so I want to make sure things are organised.” Javy says, lifting his head and rising to his feet, Jake and Bradley mirroring his actions.

“Do you need any help with anything?” Bradley asks, watching Javy carefully as he shakes his head.

“No. Thank you, though. It’s just the last few things I need to sort out before tomorrow. Then we’ll meet up on Sunday, okay?” Javy says before he heads over to the door, both men following behind him.

“We’ll see you on Sunday. Give us a call if you need anything.” Jake says, both he and Bradley bidding Javy goodbye with friendly hugs, watching him make his way down the driveway and walk in the direction of his house with sad smiles on their faces, only hoping that you’d processed the news and be back to normal, and that you’d get on with Mateo when he arrived.

The next day, you decided to head down to the beach, wanting to take advantage of the sunny weather so you could spend time with Lily. You had been overjoyed when she walked into your classroom, indicating that she had moved to San Diego and after a catch-up, the two of you were acting like you’d never been apart.

“So, beach day?” Lily asks, getting in the passenger seat of your car, your Honda Fit had been fixed up after the rear ending accident and you were back to driving around like nothing had happened.

“Beach day.” You confirm with a smile, driving off from where you had parked just outside Lily’s house to pick her up.

“It’s definitely the perfect day to tan. Ooh, and I bet there will be some hot guys there too.” Lily grins, glancing over at you as you roll your eyes.

“Seriously? Is that all you care about? Boys?” You tease, your focus never shifting from the road as you drive, the journey to the beach one you had memorised quickly and easily.

“I mean it’s the weekend. Everyone will want to be at the beach over the weekend.” Lily then says, wiggling her eyebrows as you sigh with a laugh. When you find a place to park, you and Lily get out of your car, grab your beach gear and head down to the beach.

The two of you lounge on beach towels, chatting to each other, continuing to catch each other up on what you have missed in each other’s lives. You even dared to head into the ocean and splash around before heading to one of the nearby diners to have something to eat. After eating you and Lily head back outside to spend a couple more hours sunbathing before heading home.

When the two of you finally called it quits and decided to head home after spending a good few hours at the beach, you and Lily began to make your way back to your car, smiles on your faces as you talked.

“So, did you have a good time?” You query as the two of you near the small parking lot.

“The best. The beach is gorgeous, and there were loads of cute guys.” Lily gushes, clinging to your arm as you laugh.

“Glad you were impressed.” You say as you roll your eyes, already digging into your bag to grab your car keys.

“I’m easily impressed and that hasn’t changed, okay?” Lily giggles as the two of you round the corner to enter the parking lot a roar of a motorbike engine entering the parking lot, stopping dead in front of your car, making your jaw drop slightly when they don’t move, even when you make it obvious that you needed to get out.

“Hey, Asshat! I need to get out so you need to move.” You demand firmly as the biker turns their head to look at you lifting their hands to pull off their helmet.

“I’m sorry, Darling. Did you say something?” The mystery biker says, a shit-eating grin on his face as he places his helmet in front of him, resting his arms on it and leaning forward slightly.

“I did, Asshat. You’re parked right in front of my car and I need to get out. There are spots for motorbikes right over there.” You say firmly, glaring at the biker, studying him as he scoffs. He had dark skin, brown eyes, and short-cropped hair on the sides as the hair on top was beginning to grow out, the tight curls becoming obvious. You honestly might’ve found him attractive had he not been a massive asshole.

“It’s a free country is it not?” He then says, raising an eyebrow as he smirks at how easily you were getting riled up.

“Not when it comes to blocking me in. Just move your bike five feet to the right so I can get out. It’s hardly a big deal.” You say, exasperated by his attitude.

“I don’t know, Darling. I’m quite happy parking my bike here. If you were a good driver you could get around me.” He says, patting his helmet lightly, his smirk widening when he sees you huff. You then see Lily step forward to try to calm things down but you hold a hand up to stop her before focusing back on the guy in front of you.

“This is literally the quietest parking lot, find any spot that’s not you parking directly in front of my car and blocking me in.” You say, your frustration growing as he refuses to move.

“What’s in it for me?” He says teasingly, making you clench your jaw in an attempt to hold yourself back from punching him in the face.

“What’s in it for you? I won’t punch you in the face, how about that?” You offer, raising an eyebrow as you fold your arms across your chest.

“Threatening assault? Didn’t know you had that in you, Darling.” The biker grins, unfazed by your threats.

“Will you stop calling me that?” You say, your eyes narrowing as you glare at him, your anger continuing to bubble within you.

“What, you don’t like it when I call you Darling? I’m just trying to be nice.” He says with a light shrug, his clear mocking of you driving you more insane.

“Last chance, Asshat. Move the bike. We just want to leave, you can have the spot, or you can park where you are right now again. Frankly, I don’t care, just let us out.” You say, your patience wearing incredibly thin as you continue to glare, neither you nor the biker before you were willing to back down. Before another word could be spoken, you hear someone come up behind you.

“Is everything okay, here?” You hear someone ask, and you turn to see a middle-aged woman looking between you and the boy in front of you.

“Everything’s fine, thank you. This guy was just moving his bike out of the way so we could leave.” You say quickly before the guy has a chance to speak, grinning as you look over at him, challenging him to go against you now that there is a witness.

“If it pleases you, Darling. I’ll move the damn bike.” The guy says, eyes narrowed as he glares, his voice almost a spiteful hiss as he starts the engine of his bike up, putting his helmet on before roaring out of the parking lot, finally giving you the peace you had been craving.

“He wasn’t bothering you girls, was he?” The woman asks worriedly as you turn to face her.

“It was nothing we couldn’t handle.” You say with a laugh, waving your hand dismissively as the woman visibly relaxes at your words.

“Well, good on you. Take care of yourselves, girls.” The woman says softly, receiving a nod in response from both you and Lily before she turns to leave as you and Lily move to get into your car to head home.

“Man, he was such an ass.” You complain the moment your car door is closed, leaning back against your chair and letting out a sigh.

“Try not to let him get to you. You’re probably never going to see him again.” Lily offers softly, smiling as you nod, reaching to turn your key in the ignition.

“Good point. I’m not going to think about him any more.” You say, looking over at Lily with a smile, preparing to drive off.

However, despite your words. You had forgotten all about your promise to not think of him again.

“Hey, Sweetheart! How was the beach?” Jake asks with a large smile as you enter the living room, petting Moose who demands your attention.

“It was great until some asshat with a bike blocked me in and refused to move.” You say, already beginning to launch into a tangent about the events that had happened.

“He didn’t move?” Bradley asks, entering the living room from the kitchen, and handing Jake a coffee as he sits down with a drink of his own.

“Nope. I asked multiple times and he refused to move. He only moved when a woman showed up and asked if everything was okay. I think having an audience spooked him, but I’m not going to complain.” You say with a shrug, settling down on the armchair as Moose tries to force his way up onto the chair with you, ignoring your joking groans as he settles onto your lap.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about him, anymore. You won’t see him again and you have other things you can focus on.” Jake says with a supportive smile as you nod.

“Lily said the same thing.” You agree with a smile.

“She’s a smart girl,” Bradley says with a smile.

“She always has been. I need to focus on tomorrow. We’re meeting Javy’s son, right?” You say, looking from Bradley to your dad as they both nod.

“That’s right. We’re having a get-together just outside the Hard Deck to welcome Mateo.” Jake confirms as you fight the urge to frown slightly.

“I owe Javy an apology for the way I reacted yesterday. That wasn’t fair on him.” You mumble, feeling embarrassed for the way you had acted.

“Hey, it was a big piece of news. Javy knows you weren’t being malicious in your reaction yesterday. Talk to him tomorrow and I’m sure the two of you will be fine.” Bradley then says, both he and Jake smiling softly as you nod.

“I agree with Bradley. You can talk to Javy and I’m sure the two of you will be back to normal in no time.” Jake agrees, getting nods from both you and Bradley.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow after I’ve met Mateo. I owe him an introduction since he’s new to town.” You say as you lean back against the armchair cushions, absentmindedly petting Moose.

“I can’t wait to meet Mateo. Him moving here means so much to Javy.” Jake says, thinking of all the times Javy had forlornly told him about Mateo and how he wanted to visit desperately.

“Well, if he’s anything like Javy. We’ll get along just fine.” You muse softly, exchanging soft smiles with your dads.

But when the next day came. You found yourself eating your previous words.

You, Jake, and Bradley arrived at the beach just outside the Hard Deck, jumping out of the truck with Moose alongside you and approaching where the Daggers had gathered outside.

“Do you see Javy?” You ask as you approach the group, searching for him so you can talk to him.

“He’s just over there, and that must be Mateo nearby,” Jake says, pointing out where Javy is before pointing at someone sitting at a nearby table with their back to you.

“I’m going to go and introduce myself.” You say with a smile, handing Moose’s leash to Jake and beginning to make your way across to where Mateo is sitting.

“Hey, you must be Mateo, I’m y/n.” You introduce yourself with a smile as Mateo turns to face you, your smile dropping the instant you realise that the guy sitting before you was the same biker from yesterday who had refused to move after blocking you in.

“I must admit I wasn’t expecting to see you around here again, Darling. I thought you’d be licking your wounds after you needed a grownup to fight your battle for you.” Mateo says snarkily, turning around to face you fully and leaning his back against the wooden table as he smirks.

“I didn’t need a grownup’s help, Asshat. I was doing perfectly fine without her.” You say angrily, silently wondering how someone as lovely as Javy had a son who acted like this.

“So you’re the daughter my dad kept raving about? Seems like his breath was wasted on your praises.” Mateo says, barely glancing over at Javy as he speaks before focusing back on you.

“You don’t know anything about me, Asshat.” You say, eyes narrowing into a lethal glare.

“I know you’re my dad’s best friend’s kid. You’re going to the same school I’m being forced to go to, and my dad practically kisses the ground you walk upon. Anyone would think you’re his kid with the way he talks about you.” Mateo says with a roll of his eyes, his frustration evident in his voice.

“I forget, those little bits of information ensure you know absolutely everything about me.” You say sarcastically, rolling your eyes in response as you fold your arms across your chest.

“I know more than you think, Darling. I’m not stupid, you know.” Mateo says, making you grit your teeth.

“You could’ve fooled me.” You say, your irritation reaching a breaking point. You then look around, locking eyes with Javy. You smile softly and take the opportunity to move away from Mateo to talk to Javy finally.

“Hey, Kit-Kat,” Javy says quietly as you approach him, his smile small yet genuine.

“Hey, Uncle Javy. I wanted to apologise for how I reacted the other day.” You say, fiddling with your fingers to try and calm yourself.

“You don’t need to apologise, y/n. I had kept a pretty big secret for a long time and it makes sense for you to need time to process the news.” Javy says with a gentle smile, reaching up to rest a hand on your shoulder, making your smile widen before you move to hug him an action Javy reciprocates in seconds.

“I do need to apologise. It wasn’t fair of me to act like I was entitled to that information. And I’m sorry for that.” You apologise as you hug Javy tightly.

“If anything I should apologise. I could see the way you and Mateo were interacting just a minute ago.” Javy mumbles embarrassed at his son's attitude that he had been on the receiving end of since Mateo arrived the day before.

“I thought he’d be a bit more like you in personality.” You admit with a chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood.

“I did too. Unfortunately, it seems he has a problem with me and no matter what I try, he won’t talk to me.” Javy admits softly, disappointed that Mateo won’t even give him the time of day.

“Maybe he needs some time. It’s been a big change for him and maybe he’s just lashing out because of it?” You offer as you pull away from the embrace slightly so you can look up at Javy.

“We’ll have to see,” Javy says softly, seemingly unconvinced by your words of support. Not knowing how to respond, you offer Javy one last hug before heading back over to Jake and Bradley.

“It looked like you and Mateo were getting into it. Is everything okay?” Jake asks the moment you reach their side.

“Turns out Mateo is the guy who blocked me in yesterday.” You say with a shrug, crouching down to pet Moose who greets you happily, tail swishing excitedly.

“That was Mateo?” Bradley asks, shocked as he looks across to where Mateo is sitting, unable to believe that Javy’s son would act in such a way.

“I think Javy needs someone to talk to, Dad. It seems Mateo is giving him some attitude and he might need someone to talk to about it.” You say, glancing over at Jake who nods, giving you Moose’s leash so he can cross to Javy.

“Hey, let’s hang out with the others, if Mateo doesn’t want to get involved then that’s his loss.” Bradley offers as you stand up, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and leading you to where Mickey and Bob are standing nearby, drinks in hand as they converse.

“Hey, Hangman Junior!” Mickey greets you happily with a hug which you reciprocate quickly before moving to hug Bob.

“Hey, Mickey. Hey Bob. Have you guys met Mateo yet?” You greet the two men, looking between them as they nod slowly.

“He’s a bit… different to what I was expecting,” Mickey says awkwardly, eyes flicking across to where Mateo was sitting before looking back at you.

“Phoenix and I tried to introduce ourselves to him but we got the cold shoulder. It seemed like you managed to have a conversation with him though.” Bob says before taking a sip from his water, watching you carefully.

“Oh, that? No, it turns out Mateo was the ass who blocked me in at the beach yesterday and he decided to keep picking a fight with me. I don’t think we’re going to get on at all. He’s nothing like Javy.” You explain, shaking your head as you tell the story, making sure the men know that you’re not going to get along with him like you had previously thought.

“We can agree with you there. He is nothing like Coyote.” Mickey agrees as both he and Bob nod, everyone glancing over at Mateo and watching him curiously for a moment before turning back to each other to continue your conversations.

By the end of the get-together, Mateo had ended up disappearing much to everyone’s shock. The only person who wasn’t panicked at the revelation was Javy, who had dealt with him disappearing the day before and just defeatedly told everyone to head home, apologising for the way Mateo had been acting and for wasting everyone’s day. You had given Javy a big hug after hearing him say that, feeling bad that his own son wasn’t putting in the same effort he was to forge a relationship.

“Hey, would you like to come to ours for dinner? We could order some takeout or something?” Jake offers his friend softly, fighting back a frown as Javy shakes his head.

“Nah, it’s best I stay at home in case Mateo comes back. He may not want much to do with me but I don’t want him locked outside without any keys.” Javy says, his smile sad as he attempts to wave you and your dads off.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call us.” Bradley then says, reaching out to pat Javy’s shoulder lightly.

“Thank you,” Javy says softly before allowing you and your dads to make your way over to Jake’s truck so you can head home for the day. As your dad’s truck pulled away from the Hard Deck, all you could think about was how much Mateo was going to be a pain in your ass when he started at your school.

It turned out that your prediction had been correct, Mateo had joined your high school halfway through the week after the beach get-together and much to your dismay he had been put in most of your classes. You and Lily had tried your best to avoid him, and you constantly found yourself biting your tongue when he decided to bother you both during and in between classes.

“Hey, Darling. I thought I could feel a chill in the air.” Mateo teases from where he is leaning against a locker, a smirk on his lips as you glare at him.

“Do you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice, Asshat?” You say, not even stopping as you walk down the corridor, causing Mateo to push himself away from the locker and trail along behind you.

“I could ask you the same question. You’re the damn teacher's pet, not me.” Mateo says with a shrug as he continues to follow you.

“Maybe it’s a good thing you don’t participate in class. I’d hate to have to prove you wrong in front of everyone.” You say, raising an eyebrow as you briefly glance his way, smirking to yourself.

“If that helps you sleep at night, Darling. You can think whatever you want.” Mateo says.

“How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?” You say lowly, stopping short in your tracks so you can turn to face Mateo who mimics your actions.

“I thought you liked it,” Mateo says, a fake pout on his face to irritate you further before breaking out into a smile when he achieves his goal.

“We don’t even have the same class now, can you just leave me alone?” You say, your irritation quickly reaching its peak as you begin to walk away.

“You’re no fun,” Mateo says before walking off, not noticing how you roll your eyes at his words.

“Why does he constantly bother me?” You complain to Lily as she joins you from her class.

“It’s because you argue back. You’re giving him what he wants.” Lily says with a shrug, ignoring how you huff in annoyance.

“If he stopped bothering me I wouldn’t need to fight back. He could make life easier for the both of us if he just shut up.” You say, turning to head into your next class with Lily following behind you, hoping that Mateo will stop bothering you.

When lunchtime arrived, you entered the cafeteria with Lily, chatting with her as you discussed your plans for next weekend. After you had grabbed a tray, you surveyed the busy cafeteria, you noticed Mateo sitting by himself and felt your heart sink slightly. Despite your frustration and lack of friendship with Mateo, you found yourself sympathetic to the fact that he had clearly been spending his time alone without anyone to talk to. Walking away from Lily, you make your way across the cafeteria towards the table Mateo is sitting at, placing your tray down and easing down into your chair.

“What are you doing here?” Mateo asks as soon as he looks up and realises it was you sitting opposite him.

“I saw you were sat alone and I thought I’d-”

“You thought you’d play the sympathetic hero and sit with the new kid, huh? Well, I haven’t got time to deal with you trying to make yourself feel better.” Mateo snaps accusingly, glaring at you with a ferocity you hadn’t seen from him since you had spoken at the beach.

“I wasn’t doing that-”

“I know exactly what you’re doing. You don’t give a shit about me. You just want to make yourself look good in front of everyone else. Just leave me the fuck alone.” Mateo growls angrily, making you grow angry, grabbing your tray and raising from your seat.

“Fine, have it your way. You’re never going to make friends with that shitty attitude of yours.” You say angrily, unable to believe the attitude you were getting for a kind gesture.

“I don’t need friends. I’m fine on my own.” Mateo says as you begin to walk away, not able to see how you roll your eyes, finding Lily sitting with some other girls in your grade and joining them instead.

“Did you really just try and sit with Mateo?” Lily asks as you settle in the seat opposite her, beginning to dig into your food.

“I thought I’d try and be nice. I know if I were sitting alone I’d want someone to take the step to sit with me. Turns out he didn’t want anything to do with me.” You say in between mouthfuls, glancing around at the girls around you who watch you sympathetically.

“I heard Zack tried to sit with him on his first day and he got cursed out pretty quickly. It’s clear he’s a loner and doesn’t like people.” Marcy says, recalling what a boy had told her before and frowning. Unable to voice the thoughts you had regarding Mateo’s outbursts, you found yourself nodding along to Marcy’s theory, glancing over your shoulder to where Mateo was sitting, watching as he ate his meal alone.

Over the next few days, Mateo started to be less annoying towards you and more standoffish. He didn’t bother you in classes or in the corridor. He’d barely spare you a glance if you and your dads were over at his house to check in on him and Javy. You had longed for the day when Mateo stopped bothering you but now that he had stopped, you found yourself missing his presence, no matter how much you complained about it. You also longed to learn what his problem with you was, you admitted that you hadn’t gotten off on the right foot with him but you had made an effort at school and he had brushed you off. Javy had told you to not worry about it, since he had been treating everyone around him like that no matter how hard he tried to forge a relationship with his son.

One day after school, you had been promised by your dad that he’d pick you up after school since your car had gone in for a service so you found yourself waiting outside your high school, alone as more and more people began to disappear home. It wasn’t until nearly everyone had left that you realised that Mateo was still around.

“I thought you would’ve hopped on your little bike and ridden off home by now.” You say, barely sparing Mateo a glance as you notice him sidling up alongside you.

“I could say the same for you. You haven’t driven home to daddy, yet?” Mateo says teasingly, his snark matching yours with practised ease.

“My car’s being serviced, what’s your excuse, Asshat? Or have you decided to start bugging me again?” You retort, glaring over at him briefly before focusing back on the road ahead of you, hoping that by some miracle your dad’s truck will pull up in front of you.

“That dad of mine confiscated my bike keys. Damn asshole said I apparently can’t be trusted so he told me I have to wait to be picked up like I’m a kid.” Mateo complains, making you grit your teeth at his words, enraged that he could speak in such a way about Javy.

“He has every right to treat you that way because quite frankly you are acting like a child and it’s ridiculous.” You say firmly, checking the time on your phone one more time and sighing at the time. Coming to the assumption that your dad had forgotten to pick you up, you made the executive decision to begin to walk home with Mateo beginning to trail after you.

“Why are you following me?” You complain, quickly noticing that Mateo is following you along the path.

“I’m walking home I’m not following you. It’s just unfortunate that we live so close together so I’m stuck walking with you.” Mateo says, an almost offended tone to his voice at your accusation.

“Well, if you could keep your mouth shut that would be great and maybe I won’t kill you on the way home.” You say, your grip tightening on your bag as you continue to walk, hoping that Mateo will get the hint.

“Again with the threats but no follow through. You’re all bark and no bite aren’t you, Darling?” Mateo says with a whistle, raising an eyebrow as you scoff.

“I can fight back if I need to. I just won’t stoop to that if I can help it.” You say, your eyes focused on where you are going so you wouldn’t give Mateo the satisfaction of looking at him as you begin to head through the park, grateful that if you continue to argue, people won’t be around to witness it.

“You’re just trying to sound tough. We all know you’d hide behind your daddy at any confrontation.” Mateo says, enjoying how quickly he is getting under your skin as you stop in your tracks, turning to face him.

“What exactly is your problem with me? I’ve tried to be nice and you keep pushing me away and acting like an asshole.” You ask, genuinely wanting an answer from him but not attempting to mask your anger in any way.

“It’s none of your business.” Mateo retorts, snapping quickly as you only grow angrier.

“It is my business. You have some sort of problem with me, and even more so, you have a problem with Javy who doesn’t deserve that treatment from you.” You say angrily, your voice raising.

“Of course, you’d defend him. You know, he was never around when I was younger. I was that kid who grew up with no dad and pretty much never had a mom either. You have no idea what it was like to go through that.” Mateo says angrily, taking a step closer to you as he talks.

“You’re not even giving him a chance. He’s really trying to make a bond with you. At least meet him halfway. You can hate me all you like but don’t hate Javy.” You say, fighting the urge to plead with the stubborn teen who stood before you.

“I never said I hated either of you,” Mateo said exasperated, running a hand through his short curls in his frustration.

“You’ve made it pretty clear that you hate everyone around you.” You say, not believing Mateo’s recently spoken words for a second.

“Now you’re just putting words into my mouth. I never said that.” Mateo says, rolling his eyes.

“Then why are you acting like you do? I’ve heard Javy telling my dad about how you treat him and it’s ruining him. You truly cannot see a good thing even if it’s standing right in front of you.” You say bitterly.

“Fuck it,” Mateo whispers before launching towards you, capturing your lips with his, taking you by surprise. Once the shock had worn off, you found yourself kissing him back, your hands reaching up to pull him closer as Mateo pushed you back until your back met a tree. You continued to kiss until the need for air got too much and you forced yourself to pull away, both you and Mateo panting slightly as you gazed into each other’s eyes, neither one of you knowing what to say.

“What was that?” You ask quietly, unable to remove your gaze from Mateo’s eyes.

“Proof I never hated you,” Mateo responds, swallowing thickly as he awaits your reaction. You remain standing in place, unable to form any coherent thoughts as you stare at the boy standing before you.

“I don’t know what to say…” You force out, your brain scrambling to make sense of the thousands of thoughts swimming around in your head.

“You hated it.” Mateo mumbles, beginning to pull away from you but you act quicker, cupping his face and pulling his lips back to yours. Much like you previously, Mateo was soon kissing you back once the shock wore off, forcing you back against the tree once more. This time when you pull apart, you manage to muster a smile.

“I can’t believe we just did that. Twice.” You admit with a laugh, getting the courage to briefly brush your thumb over the apple of Mateo’s cheek before dropping your hands.

“So you didn’t hate it?” Mateo asks, a small attempt at a smile gracing his lips.

“Do you need me to kiss you again to get the answer through your head?” You ask with a light laugh.

“Maybe.” Mateo muses, placing his hands on your middle to pull you into a third kiss, this time you are both prepared and able to enjoy the moment.

“Did that give you your answer?” You tease with a smile as you pull away enough to speak, your lips barely brushing up against his.

“It sure does, Darling,” Mateo says, his smile growing. Seeing his natural smile, one that wasn’t forced or teasing, made you realise just how pretty Mateo was. He looked so much more himself when he smiled and you wanted to see that smile from him even more.

“So, you never really hated me?” You ask, your eyes searching Mateo’s for an answer, in response, Mateo takes your hand softly and leads you to a nearby bench, both of you easing yourself down onto it.

“I never hated you. I mean sure, I thought you were annoying the first time you met, but I also loved how you weren’t afraid to back down against me. Finding out you were the one my dad talked about hurt, I won’t lie. He spoke about you like you were the greatest gift to mankind.” Mateo finds himself uncharacteristically willing to open up to you.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t exactly make you feel welcome. I was just so angry that you spoke in such a way about Javy.” You apologise, watching Mateo as he shakes his head.

“I was so jealous of you. You knew my dad better than I do. You got your whole life with him around and I didn’t get to see him at all.” Mateo continues, having to look away from you to conceal the threatening building tears.

“It’s not too late to get to know him.” You offer, your voice soft as you reach out to take Mateo’s hand in your own, causing him to turn and look at you.

“I knew if I let myself fall for you I’d have a problem.” Mateo manages to say, a teary laugh escaping him.

“A problem? That’s a bold thing to say after three kisses. What problem?” You ask with a light roll of your eyes.

“You’re too soft for your own good, Darling. I knew if I fell for you I’d get soft too. I’ve worked so hard to protect myself my whole life that I never thought I’d fall for someone. Trust you to swoop in and mess up my plans.” Mateo admits, blinking furiously to try and rid himself of his tears.

“There’s nothing wrong with letting people in. It took my dad a long time to learn that one and now he’s happier than ever.” You say softly, squeezing Mateo’s hand as you talk to offer him support.

“It’s just… scary. I’ve relied on myself for so long.” Mateo admits, the embarrassment covering his features as he reveals something he’d kept hidden for his whole life.

“Well, let’s take it slow, shall we? There’s no rush.” You offer quietly, doing your best to sound confident for Mateo’s sake. Slightly comforted by your words, Mateo carefully moves his hand so that he was now holding yours.

You and Mateo then decide to sit together on the bench for a little while, both still trying to wrap your heads around the sudden large advancement you had made in your dynamic. Neither of you felt the need to talk, you opted to spend your time getting used to each others presence more. After spending twenty minutes together in the park, you both decide to continue to make your way home, knowing that if you stay out too long you’ll be on the receiving end of multiple worried texts from your dad.

As you approach your house, you find yourself slowing down to try and spend even more time with Mateo, something he picks up on almost instantly.

“You okay?” Mateo asks with a concern you hadn’t heard from him before.

“I’m fine. I just want to do this before we get to my house. Can’t risk my dad’s seeing this.” You say quickly, turning to face Mateo and before he can even question you, you pull him into another quick kiss, both of you smiling softly as you pull away.

“Keeping this a secret, huh Darling?” Mateo teases, raising an eyebrow as you nod.

“If that’s okay with you. Just for now.” You say, studying Mateo’s reaction carefully, relaxing slightly when he nods in understanding.

“That’s fine. I don’t really think I’m on good enough terms with my dad to open up to him about anything like this just yet.” Mateo says, his voice soft as he watches you softly.

“Maybe you could try talking to Javy? Not about this of course but about everything else. Maybe you two will be able to have a fresh start and create a bond?” You suggest, watching as Mateo nods, albeit hesitantly.

“I’ll try, but I’m not making any promises,” Mateo says as you offer him a small nod and smile before you whisper a quiet goodbye to Mateo which he returns before you go your separate ways.

You make your way into your house, noticing how your dad’s truck is still absent from the driveway and rolling your eyes. While you were glad you and Mateo were able to make something good out of being left behind, you couldn’t deny that it didn’t annoy you that your dad had forgotten to pick you up from school, especially after he promised he’d do so. When you enter the house, you’re greeted by Moose who excitedly whines in greeting as you reach down to pet him.

“Hey y/n/n. Where’s Jake?” Bradley makes his way into the hall to greet you with a hug, quickly noticing his husband’s absence.

“You tell me. He never showed up so I had to walk home.” You grumble, your mood now significantly soured as you remember that your dad had forgotten you entirely.

“He what?” Bradley asks, eyes widening in shock at the mere thought of Jake forgetting to pick you up from school.

“Yeah, his promise meant absolutely nothing to him, didn’t it?” You say, beginning to beeline for the stairs with Moose following along behind you as Bradley watches you sadly.

By the time Jake had come home, you and Bradley had sat down for dinner and the smile that Bradley had managed to bring onto your face vanished the second you noticed your dad’s presence.

“Hey guys, what’s on the menu?” Jake asks with a large smile, completely ignorant of your lack of acknowledgement as he enters the kitchen.

“I put a plate for you in the oven to keep warm,” Bradley says, glancing over his shoulder to watch Jake who nods, thanking Bradley as he opens the oven and removes the dish.

“Have you had a good day at school, y/n/n?” Jake then says after placing his plate on the table, and ruffling your hair, missing the way you scowled at him as you fixed your hair while he settled in his seat.

“It was fine.” You mumble, stabbing at your food without removing your gaze from your plate.

“Are you sure? You sound a little annoyed. Was it Mateo again?” Jake asks, watching you carefully.

“Jake.” Bradley attempts to interject before you speak up.

“No, it wasn’t Mateo.” You say quickly, finding yourself leaping to Mateo’s defence, much to Jake’s surprise.

“Then what’s bothering you? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Jake offers, his voice soft as he watches you.

“Can I say you? You’re bothering me right now.” You say firmly, finally lifting your gaze from your plate to glare at your dad whose eyes widen slightly at your snappy tone.

“y/n.” Bradley then says, sensing the rising tension and trying to calm everything before an argument kicks off.

“What do you mean by this? Where has this attitude come from?” Jake asks, his voice raising as he grows angry at your attitude.

“It doesn’t matter.” You say dismissively, returning your focus to your plate, fighting the urge to stab your food more aggressively than you had been previously.

“It does matter when you’re giving me an attitude. I’ve had a long day at work and the last thing I need is my kid giving me an unwarranted attitude.” Jake says, putting his cutlery down as he addresses you. His eyes narrow as he glares at you, ignoring how Moose whimpered and lay down from his position near the table.

“I don’t think the attitude is unwarranted. You promised me that you’d pick me up from school today. You know the walk is long and my car is in for a service. You let me down and you come waltzing in acting like nothing is wrong.” You say bitterly, now rapidly losing your appetite and so putting your cutlery down and pushing your chair back, getting to your feet and leaving the table so you could head to your room with Moose rushing after you. After hearing your footsteps grow quieter, Bradley turns to look at Jake who is now sitting with a shocked expression.

“You couldn’t just leave it could you?” Bradley says, a disappointed tone to his voice as he talks, lifting his fork to his mouth to take a bite.

“She could’ve texted me. I would’ve dropped everything to pick her up.” Jake says, annoyed that you’d snapped at him over something you could’ve resolved in a simple text.

“She shouldn’t have had to, Jake. You had promised her that you were going to be there. You were the one worrying about the walk home in the first place. But you decided that going to the beach was more important, huh?” Bradley mutters, his irritation obvious, revealing that he had checked Jake’s location as he gets up from his seat, picking up both his plate and yours before putting the plates in the dishwasher.

“That’s not fair, Bradley. Javy needed someone to talk to and I stepped up.” Jake says, watching as his husband shakes his head softly.

“But you couldn’t offer your daughter the decency to tell her that you wouldn’t be coming? Jake, if you couldn’t pick her up I’m sure she would’ve been fine with it if you had just told her. She could’ve gotten a ride with a friend or taken the bus if you had given her a heads-up.” Bradley says, understanding why Jake had been unable to pick you up but disappointed that he couldn’t even tell you that he wasn’t coming.

“Bradley...” Jake says, now unable to formulate a response.

“Whatever apology you want to say. I’m not the person you should be saying it to.” Bradley says with a shake of his head as he makes his way out to the living room, leaving Jake alone to think over his words.

While Jake mulls over the words spoken to him, you’re curled up in your bed with Moose by your side, snuggling close to you as you stroke him softly, appreciating the dog’s comfort. As you mindlessly watch a random show on your laptop, you find your eyes being drawn towards your phone. You longed to text Mateo, to ask him if he wanted to meet up with you so you could get out of the house just ot get your mind off everything. But you didn’t have his number and you doubted that any of your friends would have his number. With no way to contact Mateo, you debate sneaking out to see him, thinking about whether it would be worth being questioned by Javy if you showed up at his door. Eventually, as you conclude that it wouldn’t be worth sneaking out, knowing that Javy would’ve more than likely informed your dad about you showing up at his house, the door to your room opens and you look up to see Bradley sticking his head in.

“Hey, Kid. Are you okay?” Bradley asks quietly, his smile gentle as ever as he watches you.

“I’m fine.” You mumble, returning your attention to the laptop in front of you as Moose whines softly, sensing your mood.

“I know you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to but, I am here if you need someone to talk to.” Bradley offers, not daring to cross the threshold into your room without permission.

“I’m not really in the mood to talk to anyone, but thank you, Bradley.” You say, lifting your head to look at Bradley with a small smile, making sure you let Bradley know that you were appreciative of his efforts.

“Well, you know where to find me if you need me,” Bradley says with a nod and a smile before leaving and closing the door behind him, allowing you to settle back into the pillow. Secretly, you did long to speak to someone, it’s just that Bradley wasn’t that someone right now.

By the time it grew dark and everyone was beginning to go to bed. Jake hadn’t made an effort to come to talk to you and in your stubbornness, you refused to be the one to give in so you remained in your room, listening with bated breath as Jake passed your room, hesitating for a brief second before continuing down the corridor to his bedroom. As you hear your dad walk away, you let out a small sigh of relief before curling up under your covers, closing your eyes and willing tomorrow to come faster.

The next morning, you managed to get up and out of the house without crossing paths with Jake, leaving you to walk once again to school since you weren’t scheduled to get your car back until the afternoon but after talking with Bradley, he had promised to swing by the garage to pick up your car, you had the confidence that he’d stick to his word and pick up your car before picking you up from school. By the time you arrived at school, you were searching for Mateo the moment you joined the crowds swarming the halls.

“Hey, Darling,” Mateo says as he sidles up alongside you, keeping his smile as suppressed as possible to avoid attracting attention.

“It’s good to see you.” You say softly, fighting the urge to reach out and pull him into a kiss.

“Getting soft on me already? Didn’t think it was possible.” Mateo teases, winking subtly as the two of you continue to make your way down the hall.

“Bring your ego back down to Earth I’m not getting soft.” You say with a roll of your eyes, shaking your head with a laugh as Mateo smirks.

“You say that now but I give you a few days before you soften up,” Mateo says, nudging you with a smirk.

“Nah, it’ll be you going soft first.” You insist, laughing softly as you walk side-by-side. As you reach your homeroom, you take your seat next to Lily while Mateo takes his seat at the back of the class.

“Were you talking with Mateo?” Lily asks, shocked as you settle into your seat.

“He was just asking some questions about something.” You say with a shrug, trying to deflect her question as she watches you suspiciously.

“And you gave him the time of day? You never do that.” Lily asks, confused as you lean back in your chair.

“I’m making an effort to be nice. He’s Javy’s son and I can’t exactly get rid of him since my dad is literally his best friend.” You say, hoping your explanation is enough to get her to back off. Thankfully, she hesitantly nods and focuses back on the schoolwork she was hurriedly trying to finish before classes started.

As the day progresses, you and Mateo continue to interact as subtly as possible, exchanging small smiles across rooms, and when walking in the corridors, Mateo’s hand brushes up against yours, neither one of you making the jump to hold each other’s hand, desperate to maintain the secrecy of your relationship. You were aware of the side-eyed stares you were both getting from other people in the halls, but you didn’t let them bother you. At the back of your mind, you were still dwelling on the argument you had with your dad the evening before, still wondering how you had been forgotten about so easily, and it was obvious that Mateo had picked up on your mood and decided to question you about it over lunch.

“So, what’s got you all gloomy. You’ve been trying to smile all day and it’s not convincing anyone.” Mateo asks, fork in hand as he watches your reaction.

“I’m fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You attempt to brush off his attempts to question you as you take a sip from your drink.

“You can lie to yourself but not to me, Darling. You think I don’t know what your real smile looks like? I’m an asshole, not stupid. So what’s up?” Mateo answers as if he was answering the easiest question in the world.

“Just a stupid argument I had with Dad last night.” You mumble, poking at your food with your fork, fighting the frown that threatened to tug on your lips.

“Dad’s are dicks, what’s new?” Mateo says, his lips turning up in a small smirk as you glare up at him.

“Not the time, Asshat.” You grumble as Mateo nods slightly, his eyes flicking down to his tray.

“Just trying to make a joke.” He mumbles.

“Dad and I don’t argue often. He forgot to pick me up yesterday and he couldn’t even send me a text to tell me why. He came waltzing in acting like nothing was wrong. It’s just not like him at all.” You say, your focus entirely on your plate as you talk, missing how Mateo rolled his eyes slightly at your words.

“My dad forgot me too. Shit happens, you know?” Mateo says as you glare up at him once more.

“Seriously? You asked what was bothering me and the moment I tell you, you make jokes?” You ask incredulously, shocked by his nonchalance.

“Look. I don’t have a relationship with my dad. You do. If you want to fix it, maybe you should take a page out of your own book and talk to him. You told me to try to talk things out with my old man. If you ask me, you just need to take your own advice.” Mateo replies, watching you as you pause briefly in your movement, looking back up at him with furrowed eyebrows. As you looked at him, Mateo shrugged lightly before continuing to eat his food and his words began to sink in slightly as you watched him.

“Mateo, I’m sorry.” You apologise, nearly missing how quickly Mateo looked at you, a look of slight shock on his face before he forced himself to smile.

“Don’t apologise,” Mateo says with a shake of his head as he focuses back on his food, continuing to eat as you continue to think over his words.

By the time the end of the day had come, you had carefully planned out an apology after thinking about how Mateo talked some sense into you. As you made your way out of the school with Lily by your side after bidding a secret goodbye to Mateo where you both finally exchanged numbers, you saw your car parked outside and assuming Bradley was the one driving it, you walked over with as smile that only faltered slightly when you opened the passenger side door and saw your dad inside instead.

“Hi, Dad.” You mumble quietly as you get into the passenger seat, shoving your backpack into the footwell in front of you.

“Hi, y/n/n,” Jake replies with a small smile, waiting for you to plug in your seatbelt before beginning the drive home.

“I thought Bradley was picking me up after grabbing the car.” You ask, trying to hide any potential attitude in your voice.

“I thought I should do it. I let you down yesterday and I should do something to make up for it.” Jake responds, his eyes fixed firmly on the road as he drives.

“I didn’t mean to get mad last night.” You begin, glancing over at your dad as you talk.

“Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologise. I had promised I’d pick you up and I let you down. If anyone should be apologising here it should be me.” Jake says, looking over at you as he stops in front of a red light.

“I didn’t even stick around to hear if you had a reason for why you hadn’t picked me up.” You say, feeling bad about your treatment towards your dad.

“It’s okay, y/n. I owed you a text at the very least. Javy asked me if we could talk after work and I completely forgot about everything else, I just wanted to make sure Javy was okay.” Jake explains, feeling awful that he had so quickly dropped everything to help his best friend while forgetting about his daughter in the process.

“Is Javy okay?” You ask worriedly, your attention now shifted at the mention of Javy.

“He’s okay. I think Mateo has been giving him a bit of a hard time and he just wanted some support.” Jake explains and you find yourself focusing on the surroundings zipping by you instead of looking at your dad. You had suggested to Mateo that he attempt to form some kind of bond with Javy and you could only hope that you were able to get through to him.

“Sorry. I didn’t realise Javy was struggling. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You apologise once more, barely able to look over at your dad as he shakes his head.

“Sweetheart, it’s fine. It’s on me for letting you down. I think your anger was warranted.” Jake says with a small smile, briefly glancing over at you as you nod slightly.

“I’m still sorry. I hope Javy is doing okay.” You say softly as Jake turns the car down the road your house is on.

“I spoke to him at work today, he seemed happier. He told me Mateo made the effort to talk to him last night over dinner.” Jake says as you smile lightly, relieved to hear that Mateo has listened to what you said and tried talking to his dad. After Jake had parked on the driveway, you both get out of the car and before Jake could begin to head towards the front door, you round the car quickly and trap your dad in a hug, holding him tightly.

“I love you, Dad.” You say as Jake wraps his arms around you, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you too, y/n. Are we good now?” Jake replies softly, pulling away slightly so he can look down at you.

“We’re good now.” You confirm with a smile, hugging your dad one last time before you pull away and head into the house where Bradley is standing in the hall with a smile and folded arms.

“Have you two finally made up now?” Bradley asks, quirking an eyebrow as the two of you nod lightly, smiles gracing all of your faces.

“We have,” Jake says, crossing to Bradley to press a soft kiss to his lips while you take your shoes off and excuse yourself to your room, claiming to want to do homework but all you wanted to do was text Mateo, leaving your dad’s downstairs.

Over time, your relationship with Mateo began to develop. You found it difficult, constantly having to sneak around when you were at school or around your parents. You had decided to make it known that you and Mateo were now on friendlier terms, but you had to keep your PDA on the down low and you often found yourselves having to go around to each other’s houses if you knew you had an empty house.

However, thinking you were alone ended up being the reason you both got caught.

“Hey, Darling.” Mateo greeted you at the door before you even got the chance to knock on the front door.

“Hey, Asshat.” You say teasingly barely stepping through the door before Mateo’s lips connect with yours, his hands reaching for your waist to pull you closer, slamming the door behind you the moment you cross the threshold.

You decided to forgo heading upstairs so you went into the living room, your lips barely pulling apart as the two of you strumbled through the house before you ended up on the couch. The two of you continued to make out, only pulling apart for brief seconds for air before reconnecting your lips, your arms wound around Mateo’s neck, attempting to pull him closer while Mateo’s hands tangled in your hair. The two of you were oblivious to the world around you, in your head it was just you and Mateo and nothing else mattered. What you didn’t acknowledge, was the sound of the keys in the door and the sound of the door opening.

“What the hell is going on here?” You both leap apart at the sound of Javy’s shocked voice, your eyes wide as you look over at him.

“I… we…” you start, glancing from Mateo to Javy and then back again.

“I mean is it not obvious? You do have eyes.” Mateo answers as if he were answering a simple question, leaning back against the couch, one arm lying along the back behind you as if he were waiting for an opportunity to hold you.

“I could do without the attitude, Mateo.” Javy exhales, his hand coming up to rub at his brow, already beginning to feel a headache forming.

“I’m not wrong, am I?” Mateo says with a shrug.

“How long has this been going on?” Javy asks, eyes flicking between the two of you.

“A couple of weeks?” You reply, your answer coming more as a question as you sheepishly watch Javy who sighs.

“You know what? I’m not going to question you any more. I just wanted to come home and grab something. I’ll leave you alone. Just… be safe if you’re going to do anything.” Javy says pointing at the two of you as you feel your face heat up while Mateo rolls his eyes and Javy grabs what he had forgotten and makes his way towards the front door to make his exit.

As Javy exits the house and makes his way towards his car, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, typing a message to Jake.

‘Did you know our kids were dating?’

At the sound of his phone buzzing, Jake grabs his phone off the table, glancing up at Bradley apologetically before looking down at his phone, his eyebrows furrowing before he flipped his phone around to show Bradley.

“What the hell?”

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zepskies · 17 hours ago

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@lamentationsofalonelypotato Ooh yay!! I'm still loving this story, and after the last chapter, I've been very eager to see what happens next!

The aftermath of her trying to piece together her memories of her parents' death and her brother's betrayal is so heartbreaking. 😥 Like she's realizing that the narrative of her life was a lie, in a way. Hopefully she'll be able to reclaim the part of her past that was good and true with her parents, vs. the love and care she still has in her life through the people around her.

For some reason that particular image seemed to cling on to you and refused to fade. You'd never seen him look that way, almost… helpless and a little fearful. In all the time you'd known him, Ben had never looked at you that way. Sure you'd seen him proud, angry, cocky, lustful, mischievous, but never fearful. And you were sure that it wasn't an emotion that he was used to feeling, but that begged the question… why? Why was he looking at me like that? Why wouldn't he let me go? And what was he afraid of?

Lol GIRL. You KNOW WHY. You're just refusing to see it! But I could really see this moment in my head like a movie -- that look on Ben's face, watching her walk away. 💔

That little creature she created is interesting though. You really get a sense that she tapped into something in her powers that was before yet unexplored -- like she broke through a barrier without realizing and unlocked new depths within herself.

You wanted to feel his awkward shoulder pat and his awkward version of hand holding and you wanted to hear him try to tell you to "buck up" or whatever he thought that a comforting word should be. He's really not the best at that.

Loll he's really not. But the thing about Ben is, when he does make those gestures, you know it's coming from a place of sincerity because he doesn't soften himself easily.

"Shh. It's alright honey." She whispers, rubbing her hand over your back, her embrace steady and surprisingly strong. "Let's go home."

Aww I love her grandmother so much! At least someone in her family is in her corner. 😭

There was something or rather someone that should be here, but you didn't know what or who. And your mind supplied Annie, but you weren't sure that's who you meant.

I think we ALL know who you meant. 😂

I also love how you describe the "creative chaos" of her grandmother's house. The imagery in those paragraphs are so descriptive and lovely to imagine. I love especially: "boxes upon boxes of cookies in different stages of being packaged all over the counter." It's so grandmotherly and yet feels unique at the same time.

"Too late of course, but I'm a little rusty. I was able to warn Ben that Darren was coming back. That's how he got there so quickly or rather-" She shrugs sheepishly. "He got there in time to make sure that Darren didn't get you to forgive him. Which you shouldn't have at all, but I know he's always had a talent for manipulating you."

OOOOOH, MY GOD!! GRANDMA'S A SUPE TOO!! 😱😱 And it explains why Ben got there in the nick of time! And she already knew Darren was scum!!

Discovering more about her past as Soothsayer, as well as her friendship with Ben was so very interesting! I didn't see it coming and that's the best thing of all, but now it's a way her grandmother can relate to her even more -- as well as be in an even better position to give her advice when it comes to that man.

Tears crest and fall down your cheeks as you sit there, throat thickening. "I don't want to hurt Ben."

Heart...breaking... 😢 She's such a sweetheart. How can she not realize how much she cares about him (loves him)?

"He doesn't love me and Ben isn't afraid of anything." "He is. It might not look the same way on him as it does on everyone else, but if you pay close enough attention you can catch it." She hesitates. "And I think if you pay attention to you, you'll see what it is that you're afraid of too."

GRANDMA YESSSS, TELL HER!!! GET IT THROUGH HER HEAD! lolll

Ben isn't incapable of fear (or love), no matter how much he'd like to pretend. The way it comes out of him might "look different," through snappish anger and denial and rigidity, but it's still fear.

But the feet keep moving past the apartment and Ben sinks into the couch cushions. Even Bean seems to be disappointed. "It's alright buddy." Ben mutters. "She'll come back." But he wasn't sure.

Awww Benjamin, you're breaking my heart! 😭 But the fact that he went back to save Jake honestly speaks volumes! (Even if I did cackle my ass off at "What a fucking pussy.")

Ben didn't understand why he hated watching you cry.

Come on now, Ben. You're over 100 years old! Surely you get what's happening to you by now! 🤣🤣 You're simping for a girl you care about!

He wasn't sure if you'd noticed it yet, but you looked different too. There weren't as many lines on your face and your hair was more springy, the few silver hairs that Ben had noticed in passing were no longer there.

Oooh the plants are keeping her young, huh? 😏 Maybe enough to sync up her lifespan with Ben's???

"Di?" "Yes it's me. Who did you think it was? Santa Clause?" Your grandmother snarks. "Why are you calling me and why the fuck are you so mad? What did I do?" Ben answers slightly annoyed.

LMFAOO. Again, I love her. Kick his ass, Di! Get him in gear! "Try harder" -- INDEED.

"How is it that it's been forty fucking years and you're still able to dance on the grave of my last nerve?"

I'm deeeeeadd! I loved this line so much. 🤣🤣🤣 Benjamin is testing my patience too, good Lord. I can see why he's scared. He's on the verge of admitting he loves her -- and finally doing something about it. After his experience with Countess, that'll put anyone off of trying again to delve into a proper relationship (not to say their relationship was a proper example of a loving one, because it wasn't, obviously). Especially for someone like Ben, who struggles with real intimacy and dealing with his feelings, it makes sense that he'd digging his heels in now -- no matter how frustrating it is. 🙃🙃

But omg the cliffhanger though! Who just called him? My gut feeling is Stan Edgar, but I could be wrong lol. Can't wait to see how you close out this series! 💕

Chapter 14: Don't Be A Bundt Cake

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team. (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy, Miscommunication Trope

Word Count: 13.1K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Talks of Death, DENIAL, Idiots in Love, Pining by the Reader (and SB, but he won't admit it) Depressing Thoughts, Mentions of sexual assault/rape (not detailed at all, really just in passing) Talks about weed, Sexist comments, Ben makes derogatory comments, Threatening Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: I am so sorry this one took me a bit longer. The writers block was fighting me the whole way, but we are very closely nearing the end of this series and the moment the reader and Ben stop being so stinkin' stubborn.

Reader POV

You lean your forehead against the cool window, watching the world flash by in a flurry of color. The wooded forests had vanished hours ago and all that was left were the yellowed sprawling fields of corn and grain and family farms that were laid sporadically along the interstate. Each one a little world that caught the flecks of golden sunlight as the sun began to peak above the horizon.

The bus rolled smooth and steady over the weathered pavement towards it's destination and was filled with an odd assortment of people young and old. There was man with a brightly colored parrot that had been singing "It's A Small World After All" since you left NYC, a woman with a little boy playing with an iPad and who refused to turn down the volume no matter how many times his mother asked him to, a group of teenagers a few seats up that continued to pass around a flask, and due to how far back you were sitting on the bus an uncomfortable smell emanated from the bathroom each time the door was opened.

But you didn't notice any of it.

The only thing on your mind were the events that happened almost twenty hours ago. They continued to circle your mind, playing over and over again like a perverted cassette tape making you sink further into the worn cloth covered seat at the back of the bus. The images were haunting, some new and some old, but all the more still horrible to re-live.

The song "Nights In White Satin" floating into the backseat of your family's car, the flash of unnatural light you knew was never lightning, the caskets at your parent's funeral covered in flowers that were much to pretty to lay on something so morbid, Elijah's body succumbing to the poppies that ripped him apart, the proud sneer on your brother's face when he admitted to killing your parents, Darren's broken and bloodied body strewn in pieces over the street with the creature standing over him with a dripping red maw, the ruined building that housed "Please Don't Die" reduced to nothing more than rubble, and the look on Ben's face when you turned your back on him and fled the scene.

Why was he looking at me like that? Why wouldn't he let me go? And what was he afraid of?

The creature curled in your lap snorts something in it's sleep, turning it’s head further into the cradle of your elbow to shut out the brilliant early morning sunlight. It was now the size of a toaster and had warranted several odd looks whenever you got off to change buses, but you didn't care.

You weren't sure about anything anymore. Everything your brother confessed to you made you feel like you were living a lie and the revelation of exactly what your powers could do- take life from plants to heal yourself, create whatever the hell it was on your lap, and speak to plants… it scared you.

You thought for so long that you knew everything about your powers, that you were in control, but now you weren't sure.

You felt different, as if something had unlocked deep down that you couldn't shut up again.

You'd felt different after you killed Elijah, but this was more alive, weaving and twisting in the pit of your stomach. You felt more connected to the earth, to the world outside the bus even though you were divided by glass and metal. You could feel the energy that thrummed through the body of the creature on your lap, bending to your will, the life force of the plants it was formed from molding with you, becoming a part of you.

You felt so different than the person you had been before Darren entered the shop, so uncertain, and there was only one place you wanted to be when you felt like this… home. You couldn't wait to run up the worn front steps of your grandmother's house and into her arms. She always knew what to say in times like this.

And you desperately needed the comfort of her embrace.

The phone in your pocket buzzes again and you flip the screen to see the ridiculous selfie Annie and you had taken on Halloween last year. The one that you'd both spent dressed up as the two brothers from your favorite paranormal tv show. It wasn't the first time she'd called. Annie had called and texted you more times than you could count over the past twenty hours but you didn't answer her. You didn’t want to.

It was the first time that you didn't want to talk to her, but talking to her meant that you'd have to re-live all of it again and you were clawing at the last shred of sanity you had left to keep it together.

The overwhelming waves of emotion kept pummeling you, dragging you deeper beneath the white surf. Each one brought the memories of what happened surging over you and were followed by everything that Darren said to you. Years of taking care of Darren and doing whatever he wished were tearing at your soul, years of giving up little things in your life to make him happy, and years of taking care of a man who you thought cared about you, but hated you enough to kill your parents and try to kill you too.

It made your skin crawl. Each time your brother told you that he loved you was an even bigger lie and now that you knew the truth and saw him for what he was, it felt like you were drowning. The darkness that ebbed just on the edge was begging you to leap into the abyss, but you were resisting the best you could.

The tears had stopped falling miles ago, but you couldn't stop the memories or the emotion that formed a cold ball in the pit of your stomach.

A sigh works it's way up and you pull your legs on the seat underneath you, jostling the creature on your lap that raises it's head for a moment to blink it's black eyes at you sleepily.

It was surprisingly docile right now, especially considering that twenty hours ago it had ripped your brother to shreds. In fact it seemed to understand how upset you were and had spent the better part of the last twenty hours rubbing it's head against your arm as if trying to bring you some comfort. It was settled on your lap, the weight of it a comfort, almost like a weighted plushy that gave you something to focus on.

"It's alright buddy." You whisper, scratching him under his chin. "We're almost home."

The phone in your jacket pocket buzzes again, but when you pull it out to turn it off, you catch a glimpse of the screen, and you hesitate. Because this time it's not Annie who's calling, it’s Ben.

The picture that flashes on the screen under the contact name "Gramps" is the picture of Mr. Fredrickson from Up. It always made you smile whenever he called you and you saw the picture because Ben did often remind you of him. He was certainly just as grumpy as Mr. Fredrickson and just as out of touch, but you thought it was cute.

Your thumb hovers over the answer button and you think about talking to him.

But what would I say?

You weren't sure what to say to him, or why you wanted to speak to him so badly, why you wanted him to be sitting here on the bus with you as you went home, and why you wanted him to hold you against his chest while you allowed yourself to break, but you did. You wanted to feel his awkward shoulder pat and his awkward version of hand holding and you wanted to hear him try to tell you to "buck up" or whatever he thought that a comforting word should be.

He's really not the best at that.

You smile to yourself at the memory of how he tried to comfort you back at the hospital, but the longer you sit there and look down at the picture on the screen the worse you feel.

Maybe that scared you more than your newfound powers, how much you were realizing that you needed him, how much you depended on him when things got too much for you to bear. The memory of him appearing as soon as you needed him back at the shop, another of him grabbing Darren and throwing him into the street as soon as Darren insulted you comes in a flash, and finally followed by the memory of Ben carrying you out of Elijah's office while you curled into his chest. You couldn't remember too much from that moment, in fact you'd thought that Ben had kissed you on top of your head, but you ascribed that to the haze of pain you'd been in from your broken arm.

What you did remember was how wonderfully warm he was after you'd been trapped in that damn freezer and how nice it felt to be in his arms. Another memory of Ben sleeping on the couch at the hospital bubbles up and you feel something in your chest begin to crack open. And you try your best to tell yourself the same thing that you always do when you feel like Ben might care more about you that he was letting on.

Ben doesn't want that. He's made it perfectly clear. He doesn't want a relationship. He's only wants one night, that's why he goes out with all those women-

You hesitate, thumb still hovering over the answer button as you do, the memory of the week you'd spent at the apartment with him flickering in the back of your mind. The week where he refused to leave you alone in the apartment, where he refused to do any jobs for Butcher, where he took care of you the best way he could, when he sat with you on the couch and made you laugh with his ridiculous movies, and the week where he hadn't had one date.

Your finger itched to answer the phone, but you couldn't, because you didn't want to feel this way about Ben, not when he'd told you countless times that you kept romanticizing him, not when he told you that he didn't want a relationship, and not when you could feel yourself beginning to fall for someone you thought was the wrong man.

For just a moment you tried to pretend that it was different, that he was different, but you didn't want to. It only made it hurt more.

The phone stops ringing, but the pit in your stomach still gapes open at you and for the first time in twenty hours you feel tears begin to fall. You didn't know why you were crying about this, why the thought of not picking up Ben's phone call seemed to hurt more than everything that had happened, but something made it hurt.

The bus driver announces over the overhead that you're reaching your final destination as he takes the exit for your hometown. The familiar buildings that line the streets are sheathed in a honeyed glow from the sun, the long shadow of the bus darkening them momentarily as it rumbles down the small streets to the bus station.

When it rumbles to a stop at the bus station you wait for everyone else to get off, trying to summon the strength to stand, and swipe the back of your hand across your face to rid yourself of the remaining tears.

The bus station was about a thirty minute walk from your grandmother's house, and you still hadn't called her. You didn't know what to say, didn't know how to tell her that Darren was dead and that he was the reason why your parents were dead.

The creature crawls up your body to drape it's warm body over the back of your neck as you stand. It wasn't bothering to hide, besides the people in your hometown already thought that you were odd because you were a supe and you'd always welcomed it. You give him a scratch on top of his head and his warm tongue flicks on the bottom of your earlobe as if thanking you before it curls further into the side of your neck, seeking warmth.

The first few steps on solid ground are shaky, but you find the strength while taking in a deep cleansing breath of the outside world, letting the gentle warmth of the sun and the tickle of the autumn breeze pull at your coat. You hadn't stopped at your apartment before coming here, instead you had stumbled your way to the bus station covered in dust, flecked in blood, and demanded the first ticket back to Illinois. It was lucky that the next bus was leaving immediately, because you didn’t want to spend another second in NYC, not when all you wanted was to be home.

Plus you were worried that someone had recorded what exactly happened outside the plant shop and you didn't want to get arrested.

It was self defense anyway. Maybe Jake would represent me in court.

The thought of Jake makes you twinge. You hadn't checked to see if he was alright before you ran from the scene. Not to mention you'd destroyed the shop he'd put all his life savings into after he stopped being a lawyer.

Oh fuck, what if he sues me? He can't exactly sue Darren…

You hear someone call your name and you open your eyes.

Your grandmother is standing in front of the same baby blue pickup truck that she'd had longer than you've been alive, wearing a long multicolored skirt and a pressed white blouse tucked elegantly into it. Her silver hair is loose and long, curling over her shoulders in gentle waves. She looks the same way she looked one week ago when she left, and you've never seen anything so beautiful in your life.

You're running before you can stop yourself, crumbling into her warm embrace, with more tears streaking down your face, but she doesn't mind.

"Shh. It's alright honey." She whispers, rubbing her hand over your back, her embrace steady and surprisingly strong. "Let's go home."

Her home is the same as it's always been. A two story Victorian house painted in a happy yellow shade, with a white wrap around porch and two white rocking chairs sitting empty on the front porch. You'd spent more nights than you could count rocking silently beside her with a crochet project in your lap listening to the rain fall and soak the world outside, while the plants sang praises with every gentle bend beneath the heavy droplets.

You could barely remember the home you spent in your early years with your parents, not when you'd spent most of your childhood spending the night here and after your parents died living here permanently. There was still a large oak tree were a wooden swing swung in the slight breeze on the left side of the yard, a gardenia bush that stretched as high as the second story on the right side of the house and brushed it's soft leaves against the sunshine colored outer walls, a garden filled with both flowering plants and herbs that perked up on both sides of the front yard as you walked up the path, and a cobblestone path that Annie and you had spent hours of your shared childhood covering in chalk art.

Neither of you were good, but when the rain would fall and smudge the clean lines, you'd jump in the puddles that pooled along the walkway singing the lyrics to ABBA's "Cassandra" not quite understanding what it meant.

Standing here outside your house made you miss Annie and feel worse about not calling or texting her back, but you didn't feel like talking about what happened and you were sure that Butcher filled her in. The only thing that you wanted was to collapse in your bedroom upstairs and curl under the comforters.

Despite everything the house was a welcome sight, but at the same time it was different. You could feel the plants calling out to you, asking for you, bending towards you just to touch your shoes as you walked by. You'd never felt so connected with them before, not even when you were in your apartment or working at the shop. It was overwhelming.

And although a part of you was frightened by it, another part of you rejoiced in it. You didn't feel alone, didn't feel weak, and you knew that you never would ever again.

The creature nuzzled into the side of your neck with a sigh, soaking up the sun's healing rays as you walked up the front steps with your grandmother following behind you silently. She hadn't spoken since she picked you up at the bus station and you hadn't supplied anything in the ten minute car ride back to her house.

You didn't know where to start and you were still trying to process everything yourself.

The inside of her house was just as cozy and warm as it was the day you moved out. There were photos of your parents and you covering the walls (Darren's had been placed in the closet long ago), half-finished knitting projects sorted in different baskets on both the dining room table and the living room coffee table, spools of yarn were strewn over the couch sorted by color, and the fresh smell of gardenia wafted through the open windows on the breeze.

It was home. This was what you'd been missing the moment everything began to crash over you, but as you stood there in the familiar living room it felt like something was missing. Something tugged at the back of your mind, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

There was something or rather someone that should be here, but you didn't know what or who. And your mind supplied Annie, but you weren't sure that's who you meant.

"Let's have some tea." Your grandmother says from behind you and you feel her soft hands come down on your shoulders to steer you through the familiar creative chaos and into the large kitchen at the back of the house.

The kitchen isn't spared from the madness, it rarely was. There are boxes upon boxes of cookies in different stages of being packaged all over the counter, dirty bowls and a measuring cup stacked in the sink, and a large opened bag of chocolate chips spilling over the flour covered kitchen island.

It wasn't unusual to find the kitchen or the house in a state of chaos, your grandmother always said that a house should look lived in and that the mess was part of the fun of any major project as long as you were responsible enough to clean it up.

"Bake sale?" You ask as you sit down in the breakfast nook, uttering the first words that you'd said to another human being in twenty hours.

The next breath that you inhale was supposed to be cleansing, but you can still feel a weight pressing down on your chest, the same one that settled in the moment everything happened with Darren.

You contemplate again how you're going to tell her that Darren is dead and was the reason why your parents died.

Damn it Darren.

"Mhmm." She hums, filling the well used red kettle. "Annie's mother practically cornered me in the supermarket yesterday and begged me to make cookies. I love Annie, but her mother needs someone to pull that stick out of her ass. It's been up there for so long that I'm sure it's rotten."

The creature crawls down from your shoulders and down your arm to sniff at one of the chocolate chip cookies nearest you. It hadn't eaten since…

Darren.

You wince slightly at the thought and hope that you hadn't created something that needed and craved human flesh. The last thing you wanted to unleash on the world was Audry two especially in the wake of Homelander.

Truthfully you were waiting for the guilt at killing your brother to come, but it never had and you wondered if it ever would.

Probably not. He deserved that, he killed our parents, he tried to kill me, he tried to kill Ben.

The thought of Ben again makes a lump form in the back of your throat. You didn't know what was happening to you only that you felt guilty for leaving him like that, for yelling at him to let you go, and just vanishing on him when he probably thought that you were going back to the apartment.

He doesn't know where I am. Maybe that's why he tried to call, because he got back to the apartment and couldn't find me there and he was worried. You press your lips together. Yeah. Worried. Right.

"Honey?" Your grandmother says in a soothing voice

You look up from the box of chocolate chip cookies that you didn't remember picking up. Even the creature is looking at you with an expression that you can only explain as worry.

"Yeah?" Your voice shakes slightly.

She's leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, head tilted slightly to the side, her beautiful grayed hair pulled up in an elegant bun, but in her eyes you can see genuine concern. "Fuck." She sighs after a minute.

You blink in surprise. It was the first time that you'd ever heard her say that word in your entire life.

"I shouldn't have left." She breathes. "I told Ben to look out for you. I told him, that little bastard was bound to show up again and what did he do? He left you at that plant shop alone with no protection!"

You'd only seen her really angry a handful of times in your lifetime. Like you, your grandmother often had a gentle disposition and didn't get angry unless the situation called for it.

I mean, Darren admitted to killing our parents and then got fucking ripped apart. But how does she know about any of that? I haven't told her…

"How did you know that he left me there? Did Ben call you?" You ask putting down the box of cookies.

An odd expression crosses her face, as if she's contemplating something. "No." She hesitates again. "I saw it."

"No." Your grandmother hesitates. "I saw it."

"You saw it?" You repeat, confused.

What's going on?

"What?"

Is she saying what I think she's saying?

Instead of explaining further your grandmother walks out of the kitchen, leaving the kettle behind on the stove and you in a state of utter confusion.

Is she saying that she can see the future? Because that would mean that she's a supe and there's only one supe in history that I know of that can do that. A supe that no one has seen in over forty years.

You can hear her open the door to the closet under the stairs and the sound of her sifting through all the junk that the two of you had shoved in there over the years instead of finding the right place to put it.

When she comes back into the kitchen, she's holding a giant cardboard file box that you'd never paid attention to each time you opened the closet to find something. Your eyes shift from the box to her still not comprehending exactly what she was saying.

"I probably should have told you this a while ago, but…" She trails off and nods her head at the box before turning back to the kettle on the stove that has begun to scream. "I kept putting it off."

The box is old, worn at the edges, and theres a musty black fabric beneath a collection of yellowed photographs. You pull out the one on top to examine it.

Ben is standing there in his full Soldier Boy regalia outside of Vought tower and the woman standing next to him is Soothsayer. The outfit she wore was familiar, a black-skin tight suit with a blind fold tied over her eyes.

Soothsayer was a supe who could see the future and who was apart of Payback, a supe that had vanished a year before the mission in Nicaragua and no one knew where she went. There were rumors that she'd died and that she'd been a Russian spy, but you'd never believed them. You'd heard Butcher talk about how he tried to find her when he was trying to figure out what happened to Soldier Boy, but he never had. Said that the trail went cold.

But now you knew where she went, because she was standing directly in front of you.

She's Soothsayer? Holy fuck that's why Ben kept accusing her of cheating in the poker game because he knew that she could see the future.

"You were Soothsayer?" You gasp. "But why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me?"

She continues to measure the tea leaves. "I didn't tell anyone."

"Grandpa didn't know? But he was alive when you were a supe?"

Your grandfather had never spoken about a history with supes that you remember.

"No." She turns to look at you, a hurt expression crossing over her face for a minute. "Well, I know that I said I was going to have tea, but if we're going to talk about this I'm going to need something a little bit stronger."

Your grandmother opens a cabinet under the stove an pulls out an enormous bottle of scotch. Truth be told you'd never seen her drink more than just a glass of wine, to see her like this was about as shocking as seeing a polar bear sunning itself on a Florida beach.

"Do you still want the blueberry tea or do you need something a little stronger?" She looks back over her shoulder at you as she pulls down a glass for herself.

"I think I need something stronger." You answer honestly.

Learning about everything Darren had done was one thing, but finding out that your grandmother used to be a famous supe and that she never told you about it was another thing. It was like looking at another person. You'd always loved your grandmother's gentle way, her care for her community and her family soft, but now you weren't sure you really knew who she was.

She sits down across from you and hands you a glass of the amber colored liquid. There's a heavy silence that hangs between the two of you as she tries to find a way to start. The photo of her and Ben is laying on top of what you realize is her uniform inside the box and she smiles down at the photo, just a little twitch at the corner of her lips.

"I met Ben when I was twenty three years old." She begins taking a sip from the glass. "Legend 'discovered' me. I had the injection of Compound V maybe two years before that, not when I was born, but I hadn't gotten popular. Other powers were much more flashy and by then there were so many heroes coming out of the woodwork that someone with the ability to see the future didn't seem as marketable."

There's something reflected in her blue eyes, the same eyes your father had, that you can't place. "I had just moved to New York, I had no money, and the way I was getting it was by pretending to be a fortune teller and betting on some sports events on the side. It wasn't hard to prove that I could see the future, the past was more difficult, but Legend somehow stumbled into my shop and figured out that I was a supe. And he didn't think I was too bad looking so he helped me get big."

"You pretended to be a fortune teller?"

She snorts into her glass. "Mhmm. People really will believe anything if they're desperate enough and back then there was so much turmoil going on with Russia that people were scared and wanted to feel comforted. My job provided some of that."

"But why did you walk away from it if you were such a big hero." You ask. "Everyone knew your name, you were-"

Your grandmother raises an eyebrow at you and you fall silent so she can continue. "When I got onto Payback that's when everything exploded for me, the films, the commercials, the ridiculous ads." She sighs. "That's also when I met Ben."

You take a sip from the glass in front of you, sputtering slightly. It was stronger than you were expecting. "And you two were-"

Please don't say dating, please don't say dating, please don't say…

"Friends. Just friends." Diana sits back against the back of the breakfast nook, sinking into the navy blue pillows. "But he is almost as charming now as he was then."

You cringe at the thought of Ben coming on to a younger version of your grandmother.

She taps her glass with her index finger deep in thought. "But I think that I was the only person that Ben actually talked to, the only person that he was comfortable being around."

"What do you mean?" You ask confused. "Didn't he talk to Countess and to Legend?"

Her expression hardens at the mention of Countess's name. "He didn't talk to her the way he talked to me. Ben is difficult, he always has been and I think that most of the people he meet him write him off as this asshole with a chauvinistic look on the world, but he's not. At least, not all the time. There are so many people that he's met that are never willing to take a chance on him. To trust that there is really something beneath all of that bravado."

It was what you had been thinking for the past week, that there was more to Ben than he was willing to let people see, but you were slowly realizing that Ben was letting you see those parts. In the quiet moments at your shared apartment when he sat with you while you read or made you laugh or walked you to and from work you saw another side of Ben that you never saw when he was around anyone else. The guilt rises again when you think of how you ran from him, how you turned your back and left him standing there to clean up your mess.

I shouldn’t have done that, but it was all just so overwhelming and I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I think that Ben is the most loyal friend I ever had. No one ever seems to believe me when I say that. That we were just friends, but nothing happened between us."

"You didn't date? Or sleep together?" You ask cautiously. It was difficult to imagine Ben being friends with a woman and not having a sexual relationship with her.

Well. We're friends, but that's different.

The last thing you wanted to think about was Ben and your grandmother having sex.

I would need so much therapy after that. You sigh. Yeah, because after all the shit I've been through and found out about my life in the last twenty hours, the knowledge that Ben fucked my grandmother is what's going to push me over the edge.

"No." She shakes her head with a small smile. "About a week after I met Ben, I was running late to a movie shoot and I stepped off the crosswalk without looking. There was a car coming and I didn't see it. Ironic isn't it?" She laughs at herself. "I can see the future and I didn't see a car coming, but your grandfather did and he grabbed the back of my jacket and yanked me onto the sidewalk, saved my life. And the second my eyes locked with his I saw our future. I saw our wedding, our first house, I saw our son take his first steps and I saw how much I would love him and how much he would love me." She clears her throat for a minute, her fingers tighten on the glass, and her gaze drops to the wedding ring on her left hand. “The future is never set in stone, it’s fluid. It morphs and shapes with your decisions, but in the future I saw, I was so happy. And I didn’t want to lose that.”

Your grandfather had passed a few years ago, but you knew it weighed on her everyday. She had spent the week after he died in her room not saying anything to anyone. And sometimes she'd look out the window into the backyard with an odd expression, but you knew that meant she was thinking of him.

Growing up you'd seen how in love the two of them were, more so than your parents. Seen the flowers your grandfather always brought home just because he was thinking of her, watched him do little things around the house without being asked, saw how they never walked away angry from one another, and seen the soppy expression he'd get when he watched your grandmother move around the kitchen baking with a grace that you'd never possessed.

You reach across the table to touch her hand and she takes it gratefully.

"I didn't want to tell him that I was a supe, and at the beginning I thought I could balance it all, but then Ben started dating Countess." She takes another sip from her glass. "She hated me."

"What? Why?" You ask. The creature crawls across the table to sniff at the glass in front of you, before it snorts and falls into your lap, curling into a ball.

"Countess was a bitch." Your grandmother says mirthlessly, her expression hardening. "She wanted to possess Ben completely. Only loved how famous he was, how popular it made her, and he threw himself at her feet, in his own way, not understanding that love didn’t look that way. He’s never had a good example of it in his life. And she never understood that Ben and I were just friends. By then I had been dating your grandfather for a few months and things were getting serious. It was about a year before everything that happened in Nicaragua."

She presses her lips together as if remembering what happened to Ben there. "She was jealous, possessive, and she came to me one night. Ben was out of town for a film so she knew we wouldn’t be interrupted. She threatened to tell your grandfather who I really was and threatened to kill him.” Her jaw sets. “My powers were never really as offensive as hers were. And she said that Ben wouldn’t ever protect me over her because he loved her and would do anything to make her happy. So I left and I never looked back.”

And here I thought I couldn't hate Countess any more than I did for what she did to Ben.

“You didn’t talk to him ever again?” You wonder out loud.

She left without telling him goodbye?

“There was the occasional phone call. Sometimes Ben would ask me to see who was going to win a ball game or something so he could make a few bucks. He stopped by to say hi a few times because he was in the neighborhood. One time he brought your father a baseball glove that was way too big for a one year old.” She snorts, the memory flashing in her eyes. “I always thought Ben would be a good dad some day. But I think seeing your father was when Ben realized how much he wanted to have kids. And I think seeing the way your grandfather treated me made him start to feel conflicted about Countess. But he respected that I walked away, he saw that I was happy.”

“But what about Nicaragua?"

A dark look crosses her face followed by something that looks suspiciously like guilt. “I saw what they were going to do to him.”

“What? But why didn't you tell him what they were planning? Why didn't you-"

"I tried." She snaps, shoulders tense, but then they drop. "I called Ben, but Stan answered. By then your father was turning two, your grandfather had opened up his practice, and Stan threatened me, he knew where we were and knew everything about us. So I kept my mouth shut and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

You could feel your heart breaking for her.

Ben was her best friend and she had to sit by and watch them do that to him. She saw what they were going to do and they were going to kill her for it, kill my family for it.

The anger that surges in your chest makes the creature in your lap stir and grow a few inches, but you tamp it down before it gets bigger than a small dog.

“Does Ben know?” You ask her to distract yourself.

You didn't want Ben to hate your grandmother for this, didn't want him to hate her for something that wasn't her fault.

She nods. “Yes. I told him everything.”

“When?”

“The moment I saw him in your hospital room. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I wasn't expecting him to be there, but it all poured out of me. I was so surprised to see him there. I hadn't seen a future where he came back."

“Was he mad?”

I mean… he didn't seem mad when I woke up, not to mention he was upset when she left to come back to Illinois.

“Not at me.” She shakes her head. “He knew how much I wanted a normal life and how much I loved your grandfather. He doesn’t blame me for any of it.”

“Good. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

The glass in front of you is still more than half-full but you don't want to risk another sip of what you're sure is gasoline packaged to look like Scotch. Your grandmother reaches to pour herself another glass.

“I didn’t want to until you were ready.”

“And when would that be?”

Your grandmother shrugs. “Maybe on my deathbed.”

You weren't angry for her not telling you, more surprised, but now that you knew everything about her it was hard to see her the same way you had.

You snort. “And no one knew?”

“Your dad figured it out.”

“How? When?”

“The moment you made that strawberry plant grow from your high chair.” She shakes her head with a smile. “It skipped a generation. Don’t know why, but you got it all somehow.”

“I was never injected?”

“No. That was a lie your father created. He knew that your grandfather didn't know and he knew that I didn't want your grandfather to know."

“Darren thought I was.”

“I know.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you watch her expression harden and she takes another swig from the glass in front of her, not flinching as the liquid goes down her throat.

“Did you see everything that happened?” You ask in a small voice.

You still weren't 100% sure how it was her powers worked, but you figured that she was able to see some of what Darren did and what he said.

“Yes.”

“You heard everything Darren said?"

“Yes.”

You chew the inside of your cheek for a minute hoping that she didn't take it as hard as you did. “Did you know that he killed them?”

“No.” She breathes, rolling the glass between her hands for a moment. “The night they died, I got a vision a few minutes before the car ran off the road. I was the one who called the police and who told them where to look, but I never saw that it was Darren or that it was anyone causing the accident. All I saw was the three of you in the car. I should have known.” Her voice breaks.

“It’s not your fault.” You squeeze her hand.

“And it’s not yours either.” She squeezes your hand back.

The memories are beginning to float up from the recesses of your mind and your teeth clench together as you try to keep them at bay.

“I know.” You breathe. The memory of the ruined shop flashes through your head. “I didn’t know that I could do something like that.” You gently touch your healed right arm and glance at the creature that is nibbling on the edge of the cardboard box with its sharp splinter-like teeth. “I feel so different and I don’t know how to go back to the way I was.”

“I don’t think you ever will.”

"Really?"

The thought was unwelcome. You were hoping that all of this was going to blow over, but you knew it wouldn't. Your powers had changed. There was an energy that thrummed in your veins now, stretching out of the house to the plants that grew in the garden. You could feel them all if you concentrated.

She frowns. “When you told me that you were working for Butcher I was worried about you getting involved in the supe world. I didn’t want that life for you, didn’t want you to suffer the way I did-“

“Was it really that bad?"

“Not all the time, just at the end. But I think that’s why I loved your grandfather so much. Because he was different than all the supes. He was down to earth, not just normal but-“ She shrugs. “I think Compound V does something to our minds, makes them more susceptible and when you’re surrounded by people using their powers and thinking that they’re gods it’s easy to lose who you are. I was glad I left when I did."

“Great." You huff, thinking about how your powers had grown exponentially since you killed your brother. It was scaring you to think that you would reach a point where you acted like Homelander, where you saw yourself as a god and killed anyone who stood in your way.

As tired as the stereotype of you only being able to make the flowers grow, you liked doing that. You liked healing plants, tending to them, and helping them grow. For you it had never been about using your powers the way that you had to kill Elijah and your brother and had always been about spreading a little more joy and love like your grandmother did with her kindness in her community.

Your mind flashes back to the first night that Ben stayed with you in your apartment and he'd asked you why you worked for Butcher and told you that he thought you "didn't fit."

Before you hadn't. You knew that. You weren't intimidating to look at or fueled by revenge or had a bone to pick with supes. You'd joined because you thought it was the right thing to do and because you wanted to be closer with Annie. She had been so involved in the supe world and you'd felt like you were losing your best friend. When in reality being at "Please Don't Die" was the only thing that felt natural for you.

You could feel yourself changing and you weren't sure that you wanted to and you weren't sure if you were changing for the better. Deep down you still felt like you, despite everything Darren had revealed, but your powers were greater than you'd thought they could be.

“No.” She squeezes your hand pulling you out of your head. “I don’t see you losing yourself in this.”

“You’ve seen-“ Your eyes widen.

“The future yeah.” Her lips twitch up at the ends in a smile. “It is what I do.”

“That’s so weird.”

You hadn't meant to say it, but you really didn't want to know too much about your future.

Well, not all that much. Maybe just a little.

“You of all people have no right to judge what’s weird. Not with Godzilla sitting in your lap.”

"Godzilla" yawns, flashing a mouthful of his pointy teeth, before settling back down on your thighs.

You smile for the first time in twenty hours, but then it drops. “I don’t like losing control. I thought I knew who I was but now I don’t-“ The emotions were bubbling up again, chest tightening, and lungs beginning to gasp for air. “I don’t know who I am anymore or what I am or what I can do and-“

“There’s nothing wrong with not being in control.”

“But what if I hurt someone? What if I kill-“ You body shakes as you think about all the important people in your life, Annie, Hughie, Butcher, Kimiko, MM, Frenchie- and then your mind stutters on Ben.

“Your powers are growing and there’s nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. If you’re afraid of them it won’t get easier for you. You have to embrace the fear to see the lights that line the path through it.”

"I killed Darren, I killed Elijah-"

"Not because you lost control. You did it because you were protecting yourself and protecting your friends."

"But-"

"Who is it that you're scared of hurting? Annie?" Her expression turns sympathetic. "Annie is a supe and understands what it's like to lose control. None of us are in control all the time and it's ridiculous to believe that you won't lose control at least once."

Your throat clenches tightly, because when she asked the question you didn't see Annie's face, you saw Ben's. You knew that it was probably ridiculous to worry about hurting a guy with a nuclear reactor stuffed in his chest or a guy who'd been through every torture known to man, but you were. And you weren't entirely sure if you meant hurting him with just your powers.

Tears crest and fall down your cheeks as you sit there, throat thickening. "I don't want to hurt Ben."

"He's a little more indestructible than us sweetie." She cracks a smile, but you can't smile back and you don't answer because you're unsure how to.

She sits back against the breakfast nook and sighs, examining your face and slowly realizes what you mean. "Ben is complicated. He always has been. I like to think that most of it, is his father's fault. Has he told you anything about him?"

You shake your head.

"He was a dick. Made Ben think that he was a disappointment his whole life. I don't think that Ben has had someone love him unconditionally since his mother died. And loving Countess only made it worse for him. Her love was jealous, possessive, and I don't think that he's really come to terms with what real love should look like." She lets out a breath, tapping her index finger against the glass. "I never saw him as more than a friend, but I do love him. It's not a crime to love him."

"I don't love him." You say it immediately.

"Why not?"

"What?" You sputter. "I don't know what you're-"

"Tell me why you don't love him." Your grandma says methodically, as if she's trying to talk you through it.

"Because I-" The pressure was back in the back of your throat and you couldn't quite meet her eye. "Because-" You scramble for the answer, trying your darndest to keep your heart from clenching in your chest. "I want what you and grandpa had, what Annie and Hughie have, and what my parents had. A strong relationship with someone who sees all my flaws, the little parts, and the darkness and still choses to fall in love with me anyway. I don't want just one night I want every night. I want something real and Ben has said countless times that he-"

"So you've talked about it with Ben?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Only because he kept trying to sleep with me and I told him that I didn't want to have sex with him." You reply exasperated.

"You don't?"

"Gran!"

"What? He's attractive."

"It doesn't matter. None of it does. Because Ben has said that he doesn't have relationships, that he doesn't care about feelings, or emotions." Saying the words that Ben had told you countless times made something inside begin to shrivel up and die. "And I do. And I don't want to manipulate him into being something he's not or force him into a relationship that's doomed from the beginning. Ben is Ben. He's not changing or-"

"He has." She interrupts.

"What?"

"The Ben I saw in your hospital room is not the one I knew." She says it so matter of fact that makes it hard to breathe. "And neither was the one that I saw in your apartment when I stayed with you. I mean he is in essence Ben, but-"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He is changing. Not completely, but he's acting differently than when he was with Countess. I mean, I saw all the things he did for her. The way he was around her."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because he loved her."

The words make your heart seize in your chest. "Ben doesn't love me. He's my roommate and my friend-" It was the same thing that you kept telling yourself on repeat to beat back the other feelings that you hadn't quite identified yet. "And he's told me that he doesn't want a relationship and that I should try to meet other people."

That last part was a lie, but you honestly didn't know where she was going with this conversation or why it was getting so hard to breathe.

"Have you thought that maybe Ben doesn't want to love you because he's scared?"

"He doesn't love me and Ben isn't afraid of anything."

"He is. It might not look the same way on him as it does on everyone else, but if you pay close enough attention you can catch it." She hesitates. "And I think if you pay attention to you, you'll see what it is that you're afraid of too."

What does she mean? What the hell am I afraid of? Ben isn't afraid of anything, he's practically shouted that from the mountaintops like Julie Andrews.

"I already told you what I'm afraid of."

"I'm not talking about you hurting someone honey. There's something else that you refuse to admit to yourself because you're scared." She smiles sadly at you. "You should though, because when you embrace it, what comes after is really beautiful." There's a far off look in her eyes and you realize that she'd seen something further ahead that she wasn't letting on.

"And it's all I want for you. To be happy." Your grandmother stands from the other side of the booth "I think you need some rest. You drove all night long and I doubt you got any sleep. And I have to package all of these before Annie's mother calls down the four horsemen of the Apocalypse on me."

"Wait-"

"Please sweetie." She lays her hand down on your arm. "I think you'll feel a little better about all of this when you've had some rest." Her fingers raise to push back some of the hair that's fallen forward into your eyes. "Hmm?"

You didn't want to rest, you wanted to talk about this, but you knew better than to argue with her. Not to mention she was right, you hadn't slept.

"And when you wake up I'll make your favorite for dinner, alright?" She smiles, but there's something behind it that you can't place.

"Okay."

And this time you don't argue with her. You go up the worn staircase that you have your entire life and collapse onto your bed, wondering exactly what it was she saw your future hold, and what it is that you won't admit to yourself.

Soldier Boy POV

There was no light in the apartment save from the burning red tip of Ben's blunt and the bluish glow emanating from the tv that caught the dips and sharp edges of his face. But it was nothing more than background noise.

His hand absentmindedly stroked along Bean's back, his eyes focused on the ceiling above the couch. He hadn't moved in hours. It had been over twenty four hours since everything that happened at the plant shop, since you'd summoned a creature from the depths of the store, since Darren had thrown Ben through the plate glass windows of the bakery, and since Ben had last seen you.

He didn't understand why you hadn't let him take you back to the apartment and why it was that you had to leave. Ben hadn't liked the feeling that stabbed him in the chest when you turned your back on him and ran away. He'd felt the urge to comfort you the way he'd watched Hughie do for Annie in the car a week ago, but you hadn't let him.

Instead all he'd done is stood there and watched you run, still covered in dust, rubble, and blood. Worse was you hadn't let him check you for injuries and Ben hated the thought that you were hurt somewhere and he didn't know where you were.

You were so much more fragile than he was. He was realizing that more every day, was acutely aware of it after everything that happened with Elijah. Honestly, sitting there in the hospital with you laying there asleep with nothing that he could do, but wait for you to wake up had been agony. Not to mention that looking at the bruises around your throat, over your eye, and the bright green cast only made him feel worse. He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life and he hated it. Because Ben wasn't some helpless damsel in distress, he was a man and a man shouldn't wait on anyone or feel out of control, or at least, that's what he told himself.

Ben hears someone walk down the hallway outside the apartment and he perks up to listen, hoping that it's you finally coming home. Ben's mind stutters on the word "home." He'd lived many places in his life, apartments that felt more like way-stations, and the drafty cold mansion back in Philadelphia where he grew up, but neither felt like home. And although he hated how small your apartment was, it was the first place that Ben liked living in. He was starting to understand the word home.

But the feet keep moving past the apartment and Ben sinks into the couch cushions. Even Bean seems to be disappointed. "It's alright buddy." Ben mutters. "She'll come back."

But he wasn't sure.

Ben also wasn't used to feeling this way. It was close to the way that he felt when he went to Boston and was sitting in that damn hotel room waiting for something to happen and he still didn't understand what it meant. He didn't understand why he couldn't stand it that you weren't back yet. It made him feel like a woman waiting for her husband to get home from work when he told her that he was "running late." He'd tried to distract himself by looking at some possible prospects on Tinder, but just like the week after you'd come home from the hospital and just like the date he had in Boston, no one held any appeal.

His mind was awake and roaming around, pacing back and forth. The blunt was supposed to help, but it hadn't.

His phone chirps and Ben picks it up to look at the screen, but it's not you, it's Jake.

Jake: I know that I'm not your favorite person, but thank you for what you did.

Ben huffs and turns his phone face down on the couch once more. "What a fucking pussy."

When you left Ben had realized that Jake was still inside the building and as much as he wanted race after you, he understood that you'd be even more upset if you'd killed Jake. So Ben had tromped back through the building and found him trapped beneath some rubble. Jake was okay, just unconscious, but Ben had carried him out and put him on the sidewalk before he high tailed it out of there. The last thing that he wanted was to be caught with a shredded body outside a ruined building.

I didn't do it for him. I did it for her. Ben thinks to himself, looking down at the text message.

As much as he hated the thought of saving your future boyfriend, he didn't want to see what it did to you if you found out that you killed Jake, so he'd done it to avoid watching you cry again.

Ben didn't understand why he hated watching you cry.

Women cry. They're damn emotional all the time. He tries to reason with himself taking a puff from the blunt pinched between his thumb and forefinger. And she fucking cries way too much.

The image of you crying outside of the shop in the wake of everything that happened pricks something under his ribcage. Fuck.

Ben didn't feel remorse for what happened, well, the only thing he regretted was not getting there sooner and getting to fuck Darren up himself. When Diana had called him to tell him that Darren was coming, Ben had practically ripped the apartment door off in his haste to get back to you. He hadn’t wanted to leave you at the plant shop, but Butcher had told Ben, that he had a possible location for Darren, but it came up empty and Ben had been at Butcher's apartment chewing him out for sending him on a fucking wild goose chase.

It only made Ben more angry to allow Darren to speak to you, but he was trying to let you handle it even though he wanted to handle him. But it had brought him an unholy amount of joy to throw Darren in front of that minivan and to watch that creature tear him apart while the final whitish blue pulses of electricity jumped and crackled down the street making the streetlights shower sparks everywhere.

But Ben was more upset that Darren had been able to land a few hits on you before you killed him.

Ben remembered the giant lizard that crawled out of what was left of "Please Don't Die" and felt his lips quirk up into a smile. As much as he hated the entire situation, Ben couldn't help but feel a little surge of pride at what you'd done to your brother. He'd never seen you look so powerful standing there in the street, your eyes glowing a brilliant green, arms outstretched, and the ground trembling around you as the world begged to be unleashed.

Of course he'd been just as surprised as you were at the fact that you'd healed your broken arm. He wasn't sure if you'd noticed it yet, but you looked different too. There weren't as many lines on your face and your hair was more springy, the few silver hairs that Ben had noticed in passing were no longer there.

He wasn't sure what that meant, but there was something that felt suspiciously like hope tingling in his stomach, hope that you weren't as fragile anymore and hope that it meant you wouldn't die.

When Diana had told Ben that her husband had died, he saw the pain in her eyes when she said it, saw her relieving the memory, and for some reason as soon as she said that he was dead, the first thing Ben thought about was you. Ben hadn't considered his inability to age as much in the past, hadn't cared about outliving anyone before. Seeing Countess as an older woman had made him more aware of it. Looking at the woman who he once thought he loved, had showed him what that was like. Not that he had a problem with daring older women, Ben always thought that women really did get better with age, but it was what came next that Ben wasn't fond of.

And for some reason thinking that one day he'd wake up and see the marks of age on your face or one day he'd wake up and he wouldn't be able to annoy you or hear you yell at him made his chest tight.

Ben takes another hit of his blunt. The longer he sat there the more then unnatural feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach, thrumming through his veins, the feeling that he was trying to avoid. He thought that the joint would calm him down, but he found himself jumping at every creak and footstep in the apartment building, perking up each time and hoping that it was you coming home.

He didn't know where you were. You hadn't answered any of his texts or calls and Ben was ashamed at how many times that he had tried to call you.

Get a fucking grip. He'd thought to himself when he typed out another text message to send you, stopping himself from sending it.

But he'd been so desperate to hear from you that he'd actually gone to talk to Annie who seemed upset that she couldn't get ahold of you either. When Hughie and Annie had seen how upset Ben had been, Hughie had laid his hand on Ben's arm and told him not to worry. Ben had yelled at him that he "wasn't fucking worried and to mind his own business" and had shaken off Hughie's comforting hand before stomping out of the shared apartment.

No one else seemed to be as concerned about finding you. Butcher, MM, and Frenchie were all deeply involved in trying to figure out the cover-up for what happened outside the plant shop. By some miracle no one had caught a picture of your face, but there was little they could do about Darren's body that had been strewn across the street. Annie was having to deal with the repercussions at work, trying to handle what the news was calling a "super villain threat."

Personally, Ben thought that since they froze Homelander, the Seven looked weak and Ben believed that the superhero team that represented America shouldn't look weak. Of course before Ben had also thought that they looked like a bunch of pussies and again felt himself sink deeper into the couch when he thought about what his supposed son had become.

He shakes off the feelings he has about it and his thoughts turn back inevitably to you.

Ben wasn't used to thinking about someone as much as he thought of you, but each time he settled back into the apartment and you weren't there he was hyperaware of how quiet it was.

Maybe I should call Diana. She might know where she is.

As soon as Ben thinks that, his phone begins to ring, but Ben doesn't bother to look at who it is before he answers it.

"Hello?" Ben huffs out a breath of smoke that hangs in the air in front of his face, catching in the bluish light coming from the television.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The voice on the other side of the line yells at him.

"Di?"

"Yes it's me. Who did you think it was? Santa Clause?" Your grandmother snarks.

"Why are you calling me and why the fuck are you so mad? What did I do?" Ben answers slightly annoyed.

As much as you got under his skin, your grandmother had been the same way. He actually thought that it was amusing that even before he figured out that she was your grandmother that he had often compared you to her in his mind. You had the same mannerisms, the same defiant and stubborn attitude that drove Ben up the wall, and you were just as beautiful as she was.

Ben was okay with admitting that he was attracted to you. To him that felt normal, it was the other feelings that he was conflicted about, the ones that he'd never felt before stirring in his chest that made him feel "too emotional" and "woman-like."

Truthfully, Ben was sure that if your grandmother had given him a shot that maybe he would have felt that way about her too. She was the only person that Ben actually trusted in the 80's, the only person that was brave enough to call him out on all his shit. You did that now. But he liked her husband also, so Ben was content with letting her go. He liked how happy that Henry, your grandfather, had made her. He knew that she wasn't happy as a supe and seeing her so happy and in love made Ben feel something that was close to happiness.

And it was seeing the way the two of them were together made Ben wonder if what he had with Countess was the same thing. Because he did have feelings about her that were different, but each time he went to visit Diana and saw your father playing on her lap he felt that there was something missing in his life.

It was the same way that he thought something was missing when you weren't in the apartment, but Ben hadn't realized that yet.

"Because I don't understand what the hell you're doing!" Diana replies and Ben honestly doesn't know why she's angry with him.

"About what?"

"My granddaughter."

Ben sits up the blunt in his fingertips forgotten. "Is she there with you?"

"Yes." Her voice softens for a moment.

Ben relaxes and leans back onto the couch, sighing in relief. "Good. That's good." Relief swelled in his chest when he thought about you staying with her, safe.

That's what she meant when she said that she wanted to go home. Home is with her grandmother. Ben stopped the next thought before he could go there.

The thought that home wasn't with him.

Ben was trying not to think about that or think about you hating him. He didn't think you did, well, didn't think you did anymore. At first it really was touch and go, but now he was almost eighty percent sure after you'd told him more than once that you weren't afraid of him and didn’t hate him that you sometimes wanted him around.

"No, not good."

"What do you mean? Is she okay?" Ben's grip on the phone tightens so hard that he's sure that he hears the screen cracking.

"No."

"What happened?" Ben's voice is a growl, the feelings of relief evaporating as soon as they had begun to bloom in his chest. He mentally calculated how long it would take him to get to you.

"Her entire life fucking fell apart and where are you? Not here!"

Oh. Ben relaxed a little bit.

"I don't need to be there." He says on an exhale of smoke.

"Yes you do!" Diana presses.

"No, I don't. She a big girl she doesn't need me there, she's-" Ben takes a puff from the joint.

“If you were any denser you’d be a Bundt cake Benjamin!” She says exasperated.

"What the fuck are you talking about doll? I am not-"

“Let me guess." She interrupts and Ben can imagine her tapping her foot. He hated when she did that. "You’re moping around smoking a blunt on the couch probably with a glass of something that you're hoping to numb whatever the hell it is you're feeling."

Ben's eyes shift to the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table that he hadn't touched in a few minutes.

“I’m not fucking moping and stop spying on me!” He snaps back at Diana.

He hated how well she knew him. She was his best friend in the 80's through all the shit, she had seen him at his worst and at his best too many times to count.

“I don’t have to use my powers to know what you’re doing. I know you Ben.”

"Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart.” Ben grits his teeth, temper flaring hot. “But if you know me as well as you fucking say you do then you then you know that this is-“

“You avoiding your feelings by acting aloof and brooding like a fucked up version of Mr. Darcy.” She interrupts.

She certainly hasn't changed.

“I am not avoiding-“

“She needs you here Ben.” Diana stamps her foot, the same way you do when Ben pisses you off, and Ben can hear it.

“She doesn’t need me! She said that she wanted to go home, that she didn’t want to be here with me! I tried to-“ Ben shouts back standing up. It was the exact thing that he'd been thinking for the past twenty four hours, that you didn’t need him and that you didn't want to be any where near him.

That last thought made an uncomfortable sensation prickle in his gut when he thought it, because all it did was remind him of how you acted when the two of you first met, when you didn't want him to live with you and tried your darndest to make him go away.

He didn’t want to and he wasn't sure why that was.

“Try harder.” Diana interrupts him again and frankly it was pissing him off.

Ben clenches his jaw. “I think that you’ve confused me with someone else baby.”

“Don’t you 'baby' me Benjamin! We both know that you’re doing what you always do when things get hard for you.”

“And what’s that?”

“You pretend not to care and shut out everyone who tries to care for you. Not to mention you drown yourself in drugs, booze, and women.”

“She doesn’t care about me!” He spits.

“She does!” Diana snaps back. “And believe it or not she needs you here and she wants you here.”

"But-"

"Ben please." It was the first time that he'd heard Diana sound softer and almost pleading since the conversation started. "Don't do this to her. She's worth more than Countess and all those other women you've fallen into bed with."

"Do you really think I don't know that?" He roars. The answer surprises himself. "Do you think I don't know that she's different?"

Wait what?

"If you know that, then why aren't you here?"

He hesitates.

Everything you said to him the night of the party comes roaring back. You looking beautiful in a dress that made his throat tight, and you telling him that you just wanted to be friends and that you understood that he wasn't the type of guy to have relationships. He didn't understand why it stung a bit when you said that, but it had.

Ben thinks about the week that the two of you spent together after Diana went home, when he tried his best to take care of you, distract you from everything that happened with his movies, and would sit with you and try to make you laugh. He'd never wanted to take care of someone before.

Not to mention he kind of liked the way you laughed. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but each time you did, it made him want to laugh too. That had never happened to him before. But he wanted to make you laugh to forget everything that happened with Elijah. His fist clenches when he thinks of exactly what Elijah tried to do to you and it makes him feel so mad that he feels close to spontaneously combusting. Ben might not be the best role model when it came to women, but he couldn’t imagine the type of man who would force himself on someone else.

It had made him angry when he thought that you were suggesting that he would try something when he first moved in, because he wasn't that type of man.

Ben was trying to be better for you. He wasn't admitting that, but he really was trying to be better. He didn't understand why. You'd told him countless times that you didn’t want to be with him, that you wanted to be with someone else like Jake.

Ben frowns when he thinks about the man he'd pulled from the rubble of the shop. And again thinks to himself that you should be with someone different, someone who was a supe and could understand you. Ben had seen how difficult it was for Diana when she was keeping her supe life a secret from your grandfather and he didn't want you to have to do that with someone.

"Because I'm not-" Ben begins to say, but he holds his tongue. It was too honest, too raw, too unlike him to admit this to anyone.

Because I'm not this guy. Because I'm not the one she wants. Because I'm not some knight on a white horse. Because she's everything right with the world and I'm just a fucking asshole who sleeps on her couch.

"Ben." Diana breathes and he can practically hear her pinching the bridge of her nose. "In all the years I've known you, you've never done what you did for her with anyone else. You carried her out of that warehouse, you stayed with her in the hospital even after she woke up, you took care of her when she came home, you protected her from Darren. You can't ignore all those things."

"I'm not ignoring them. She's my friend." The word sours in his mouth as he says it. "And she would have done the same thing for me." He knew it was true.

She's a good person and she wouldn't let me chase her away if any of that shit happened to me and I told her to leave me alone.

"Yes she would. Because she cares about you." Diana sighs.

"She doesn't."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Because she's told me what she wants!" Ben shouts so loudly he can feel the room shaking. "She wants to be friends-“

"Because she doesn't think that you want a relationship you nitwit!"

"I don't." Ben spits the words before he can stop them, but as he does something tightens at the base of his throat.

"How is it that it's been forty fucking years and you're still able to dance on the grave of my last nerve?"

Ben chuckles. "I missed you too sweetheart."

She sighs into the phone again making it crackle in Ben's ear. "She needs you.” Diana repeats. “And I think you need her too.”

His temper was flaring again, the thoughts that his father pressed into him surging up before he can stop the words. “I don’t need anyone. I’m Sol-“

“If you say that you’re Soldier Boy, I’m going to reach through this phone and slap you silly.” She snaps. “And you do need her, but you’re still just too stubborn to admit it.”

“I-“

“Ben I know that everything that happened with Countess was fucked up, but my granddaughter she-“ Diana pauses before she changes the thought. “You say that you know she’s different, but right now you’re treating her the same way you treat all those other women.”

“I’m not-“

“My granddaughter has decided you’re important to her and once that’s happened it’s hard to make her let go. You saw the way she was with Darren and that guy was a manipulative asshole. Imagine what she thinks of you.”

“I-“

“Stop making excuses!”

“You didn’t even hear what I was going to say!” Ben shouts.

“And I don’t need to! Think what you want Ben but if you’d stop acting so stubborn and so ridiculously blind to what’s right in front of you. I promise that what comes next is worth the risk.”

“Don’t go all fucking mystical on me doll.”

“And don’t go all macho- no feelings asshole on me! So stop being so damn stubborn, get on a plane and get your ass here.” She retorts. “Don’t fuck this up Benjamin because if you do I’ll fuck you up.”

The line goes dead.

Ben sat there for a minute in the silence still holding the phone up to his ear, listening to what your grandmother said to him ring around in his head for a second.

No one ever spoke to him that way. In fact, Ben had never allowed anyone to speak to him the way that she did, well, not until you came along. You reminded him so much of her that it was astounding and he wasn't going to admit that maybe it's why he liked being around you so much.

Ben frowns at what Diana said, thinking about the unusual feelings that were swirling in the pit of his stomach. He felt wrong and the feelings were odd for him. He hadn't felt anything remotely like this ever in his life, not even for Countess.

And although Ben refused to be afraid of anything, the feelings he was having scared him. He didn’t understand and he wasn't sure that he wanted to. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see where this ended up. He felt like he was in too deep.

As much as he wanted to go to you like Diana ordered him to, he wasn't sure that he should. Something was holding him back, digging it's heels in and refusing to budge.

But why do I feel like-

His phone rings and he doesn't look at the caller ID when he picks up, expecting it to be Diana again, yelling at him.

"Di I-"

But it's not Diana.

"Hello Ben. It's nice to hear your voice again." The familiar voice says, sounding calm and collected.

"What the fuck do you want?" Ben snarls.

"I thought it was time the two of us had a chat.”

A/N: At this point Diana is really just trying to give both Ben and the reader the kick in the pants they need. And yes I know another cliffhanger, but you know you love it. 🤭😉 We are quickly reaching the end of this series, but that means the confession scene is coming and I am so excited about it!!

As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know. 😊

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