#i don't know how to explain things i'm sorry

[ariestrxsh]

bsf!chris x bsf!reader

🤍 content warning: smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, sexualization of religious imagery

🤍 summary: after a date gone bad, your best friend chris is there to make you feel better with his cock

this fic was inspired/requested by this ask that was sent in forever ago (and it was also inspired/requested by someone who asked for a plot where reader goes to chris for comfort after a bad date but I forgot to save their ask </3)

angel like u

꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱

You buried your face into Chris' chest, tears staining the front of his shirt, but he didn't mind at all. He didn't mind the tear stains, and he didn't mind that you'd interrupted him playing video games on stream. All that he cared about was that you were okay.

He cradled your head with one hand, and with the other, he tenderly rubbed your back. You hadn't even been able to explain to your best friend why you were so upset yet, and he still held you against his chest, smoothing down your hair.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said in a comforting voice. You pulled away, sniffled, and looked up at him with your big, misty eyes. "It's embarrassing, really," you started off, wiping away a tear with the sleeve of your sweater.

He listened quietly without judgment as you continued on. "I went on a first date with a guy, and I don't usually do this, but we were getting along really well. So I went back to his place, and things got a little heated," you started to tell him, searching for his reaction and hoping he didn't think differently of you.

"What happened?" Chris sharply asked, clenching his jaw and imagining the worst-case scenario. "It's not that it was bad or anything. It's just that he didn't make me.." you started to say, but you turned away, too flustered to finish your sentence.

"He didn't make you.. cum?" Chris speculated. "Exactly," you said, somewhat relieved that Chris had finished your sentence for you.

"He came, and then it was just over. He didn't even try to get me off after or even cuddle with me. I just put my clothes back on, he told me he didn't feel anything for me, and then he suggested that he take me home," you admitted, your lip quivering and your eyes welling with tears again.

"What an asshole," Chris muttered under his breath, wiping away your mascara-stained tears from your cheek with his thumb.

"I didn't want to cry in front of him, and I didn't want to be alone, so I asked him to take me here since it was only a few minutes away. I hope you don't mind that I just showed up unannounced on your doorstep, sobbing at midnight," you apologetically said.

"Of course I don't mind. You know I'm here for you whenever you need it," Chris comforted you. "Thank you, Chris," you replied, pulling him into another hug, tightly gripping the fabric of his shirt as if he'd float away if you let go.

"Boys like that don't deserve angels like you. How are you feeling right now, pretty girl?" Chris wondered, resting his head against yours.

"I know I agreed to it, but I just feel so used, you know? I feel stupid for giving it up on the first date. And listen, I know this is weird, but I still feel kind of.." your voice trailed off as you cracked an embarrassed smile.

"Turned on?" Chris guessed, finishing your thought again.

"Yeah, I mean, it was good up until he stopped. I was so close," you admitted, almost forgetting you were talking to your male best friend instead of your therapist. "Oh, god. I'm so sorry. You didn't need to know that," you buried your head in your hands after your confession.

Chris let out a small chuckle, caressing your back with his fingertips again. "You don't have to be embarrassed to tell me things like that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I could, you know, finish you off if you'd like," Chris offered, his tongue darting out and wetting his lips as his gaze fell to your mouth.

Your eyebrows flew up. "Y-you'd do that?" You asked, seriously considering his proposal. "Yeah. I hate seeing you cry," Chris whispered, wiping away another tear as it fell. "If I could go back in time and make sure the whole situation didn't happen to begin with, I would. Making you feel good is the least I can do."

He tilted your chin up to look at him, searching your face for permission to kiss you. "What do you say? You want me to make you cum?" He sweetly asked, his gaze lingering on yours. "Yes. Pleeease, Chris," you softly begged, the words surprising you as they tumbled from your mouth in such a desperate manner.

He smirked down at you before his eyes fluttered closed, and he leaned in, his lips gently meeting yours. It started off slow - a few soft pecks here and there and a gentle caress of his fingertips along your jawline, sending goosebumps across your warm skin.

Before you knew it, the two of you had been swept up in the moment. His lips passionately engulfed yours, and his velvet-like tongue gently brushed against yours, filling your mouth with the taste of a blue raspberry-flavored piece of candy he'd eaten shortly before.

You softly moaned into his mouth, the vibration tickling his lips and sending blood rushing below his waist. He reached up your shirt, gently pinching your sensitive nipples, feeling them harden under his touch. He pulled your top off over your head and admired the sight of you half-nude on his bed.

His hand wandered to the button of your jeans, and he slipped his long, slender fingers into your waistband. He gasped and pinched his eyebrows together when he felt how wet you were, his face only a few inches from yours as he explored your folds.

You relaxed against his body, a few breathy, textured moans spilling from your lips. "Let's get you out of these," Chris suggested, removing his hand from your waistband and motioning for you to lift your hips, so he could pull your jeans and your panties off of you and have better access to you.

Once you were completely naked, you leaned back on Chris' bed and slowly parted your legs, showing yourself off to him. "Look at that. She's so happy to see me," Chris seductively cooed, sliding his middle finger up and down your slit. You shuddered at the sensation and his words.

Your breath hitched in your throat as your best friend toyed with you, spreading open your labia and admiring how pretty and pink it was. He placed two digits at your entrance and watched them slowly disappear into your drooling hole.

"You weren't kidding. You are turned on," Chris observed, pumping his fingers and slightly curling them. You bit back a moan and grasped at the bedsheets beneath you. "Don't be shy. I wanna hear you," Chris responded with a smile on his face, indicating to you that he didn't care that his brothers were asleep upstairs.

You nodded and released your lower lip from between your teeth. As Chris picked up the pace, another sensual sound tore through you, but you didn't hold back this time. "That's it," Chris purred.

You peered down at the way he pistoned his fingers deep inside of you, your eyes traveling to the silver chain around his wrist and his prominent veins on his arms. With his blue eyes locked on yours, he lowered his head between your thighs and took your clit into his mouth.

You jumped and squealed at the feeling of his soft tongue exploring you, fluttering around on your needy pussy. He closed his lips down around your sensitive bundle of nerves and started gently suckling on it.

"Oh, Chris," his name fell from your lips as your tipped your hand back and started combing through his soft, brown hair with your hand. He worked tirelessly, his mouth and his fingers caressing your sensitive flesh, and he was determined to do so until you were finishing all over his tongue.

"Chris.." you whispered, his name falling from your lips again, but this time in a tone that indicated that you needed something from him. He peered up at you with his perfectly blue eyes and his drunk expression as he drank from your center. "Hmm?" He hummed against your clit, causing you to raise your hips and grind against his face.

"Your tongue feels heavenly, but I need more. Please," you requested. "More?" He asked, pulling away for a moment. You reached down and gently tugged on the collar of his shirt. "I need you to fuck me, Chris," the words tumbled out of you with fervor.

He was towering over you while you laid on your back, staring up at him like he was a god whose cock was going to bring you eternal salvation. He pulled his shirt off over his head, revealing his gorgeous body to you that had become more muscular in these recent months due to how often he'd been working out.

Your eyes danced over his chest, his stomach, and the prominent lines on his lower abdomen that directed your attention to his hard on that was struggling against the grey cotton of his sweatpants.

Before you had time to take in just how flawless he looked shirtless, he was hooking his thumbs in his waistband and tugging down his bottoms. His dick sprung out, and your gaze followed the way it gently bobbed.

"You ready, angel?" Chris asked, positioning himself between your legs. You stared down at his smooth, pink cockhead that was glistening with precum, and you nodded. Your jaw fell slack at the initial stretch as he pushed the tip into your weeping hole. Chris was much thicker than the man you'd been with earlier that night.

"So big.." you whimpered as he pushed it in a little deeper. A smug smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I know, angel," he said in a breathy groan as you fluttered around him. He started to rock his hips back and forth, inserting more of his length with every thrust. You let out a relieved sigh as he found your gspot, and your eyes rolled around in your head.

Chris gazed down at you beneath him, arms outstretched and tightly gripping his soft sheets. You loved the way he looked hovering above you, his flushed cheeks, his desire-filled blue eyes, and his pouty, pink lips parted as the room filled with his moans.

You felt his hand brush against the inside of your thigh as he spread your legs open further. His thumb found your clit, and he started moving it in circles as he drove himself into you over and over again. You let your sounds of pleasure pour from your lips with reckless abandon as Chris skillfully brought you to the edge.

You felt that divine feeling brewing deep within your core as Chris drilled his cock into you at an increasingly harder and faster pace. He could feel you sucking him in, and the way your pussy was throbbing around him. "You wanna cum, don't you, pretty girl?" He purred, looking into your eyes. "Mhmm," you hummed back desperately.

"How many times?" He asked, smiling down at you. His question surprised you. The man you'd gone on the date with couldn't even make you orgasm once, and now Chris was offering multiple? You were nearly too fucked out to answer him, but you regained your composure long enough to tell him, "three."

"Three? Greedy girl," he teased you, still making circles on your clit with his fingers as he rammed his tip into your gspot. "Show me what you've got, angel," Chris whispered, jolting his hips into you in a rhythmic pattern that he loved the way you reacted to.

Before you knew it, he was driving you over the edge, and your muscles tightened around him before you started to shake violently. You practically screamed in pleasure as you came on his cock, clenching around him uncontrollably which made it hard for him to hold on until your second orgasm, never mind your third. You felt the tension leave your body.

You'd been waiting all night for this feeling, and as you were sinking into the pleasure rippling throughout your system, you felt a second wave coming on. The pressure built so quickly this time, but the release was just as incredible as the first, resulting in you curling your toes and tearing at the sheets beneath you.

Chris was holding on for dear life, trying to get you to your third climax before he let himself cum, and with every powerful thrust into your drooling cunt, the harder it became for him to control his orgasm. He was begging to finish inside of you.

However, he maintained his stamina, pistoning into you at the perfect speed and pressure to get you what you asked for without giving in just yet. You trembled as you came onto his length a third time, leaving a thick ring of white at the base of his shaft.

Once you were completely spent, he snapped his hips forward and held them still, a guttural moan passing through his lips while he pumped you full of his heavenly substance. You could feel him release his load into you, his cock pulsating in your hole and leaving you with an incredible post-orgasmic state. He slowly pulled himself out of you, admiring the beautiful mess he'd left behind.

"How was that, angel? How do you feel?" Chris asked, checking in with you and cradling your face in his palm as he ran his thumb across your cheek. You smiled in sheer bliss, your chest still rising and falling as you caught your breath.

"That was divine. Your cock is like heaven," you whispered into his ear. "Well, angels like you are who heaven was made for," he whispered back.

[yawping-poets-society]

we don't talk enough about cameron's first real scene, where he talks to neil outside his dorm before todd arrives. in case anyone doesn't know what i'm referring to, here's the dialogue from the scene:

Cameron: Hey, Neil, study group tonight?

Neil: Yeah, sure.

Cameron: Business as usual, huh? [turns to leave, then] Hey, I heard you got the new kid. Looks like a stiff. [laughs at his own joke] [Todd enters] Oops. [Cameron leaves]

so let's talk about it!!

cameron opens with the study group question. this is pretty straightforward to me-he knows he's none of the poets' favorite, and certainly not charlie's. neil is his foremost supporter, pretty much the only one who sticks up for him, so this makes sense. he's checking with neil, his 'in' to the group, to make sure he can hang with these guys. he wants to be part of their circle so badly, and that's pretty clear from the get-go.

and then he hits us with this whole "stiff" business. this is a major thing i've seen people use to justify their hate of cameron and i really struggle with that.

because, well...this is SO undeniably awkward. neil tells todd just a moment later not to mind cameron because he was "born with his foot in his mouth." so off the bat, that's not something you say about someone who's consistently rude or who you don't like. that's neil sticking up for cameron. he's saying, sorry todd, he means well, or at least, he doesn't have any ill intentions. cameron's just not got the best grasp of social cues, that's how he is. this is a pretty valid explanation in and of itself, but if you'll walk with me a little further, i've got a deeper theory about why cameron makes this comment.

more than just it being awkward, this casual friendliness, haha, new kid, a mild insult said with much bravado...this isn't really cameron as we see him for the rest of the movie. though he does remain relatively awkward, it doesn't really match his character of being cautious and trying to not stand out, to fit into the group (as we see in his first line). so how to explain this action (because i don't believe the explanation is just: cameron is being an asshole/being awkward)?

to me? this is what cameron thought charlie would say. isn't that almost exactly how charlie always talks about cameron, after all? for a great example, see later in the same scene:

Charlie, about Cameron: What's his specialty, bootlicking?

so maybe cameron believes that this is how friends treat each other. or at least, how they talk about other people to entertain their friends. charlie, while not a stellar student and clearly not liked by the administration, is the class clown, which makes him popular with students at welton. thus, cameron is probably jealous of charlie. he probably wishes he was more like charlie-confident, funny, well-liked, etc. and again, he clearly wants to be friends with neil, and part of their larger group, very, very badly. all of this to say:

i don't think cameron meant what he said about todd.

he's trying to get a laugh out of neil. so what does he do? he does what he thinks charlie-neil's funny best friend-would do. it's not a nice thing to say, but to me, it really just reads as someone who is trying to guess what the appropriate, funny thing to say in a situation is, but doesn't actually know. cameron might not have even really thought the 'stiff' joke was funny. but he thought neil would find it funny, which is really the whole point. cameron is, at the most fundamental level, an unpopular kid who wishes he was well-liked, and is fumbling around blindly trying to find his way there.

[cyberstrm]

-> sweet and scarred

dr greg house x gn!reader

cws: mentions of surgery, healed surgical scars, house being house, slightly spicy making out

a/n: mouse bites

you watched greg get changed while you sat in his giant double bed. you had just got back from your seventh date, and things were going very well. he was funny, kind, with a hint of angst which definitely intrigued you. you'd met through your friend Allison, who had invited you to a charity drive for the hospital she worked at, and met greg. although she had warned against involving yourself with him, you couldn't help it, and the next thing you knew, you were going on dates with your friends boss and slowly but surely, falling for him.

"you alright?" greg's voice cut through the silence, now in a tshirt and joggers. he limped to the edge of the bed, but didn't sit down.

"y-yeah, sorry. just lost in thought." you replied, smiling. you started taking your jacket off, slightly nervous. "thanks for letting me stay the night"

"what kind of gentleman would i be if i let you walk home in the rain?" he asked rhetorically. "here, you can sleep in this"

he chucked an oversized grey tshirt at you.

"thank you," you smiled.

"i'll be on the couch," greg mumbled, "goodn-"

"stay," you said quickly, unsure where your confidence had come from. "i-if that's okay," you felt your cheeks grow hot.

"sure" he replied, wondering round to the other side of the bed and lying down. "you can get changed, i promise i won't look," he shut his eyes with a comical and exaggerated squeeze.

you chuckled, and quickly stripped and slid into the tshirt. you chucked your clothes to the floor, making a mental reminder to not forget them tomorrow. as you changed, you ran a hand over your stomach, feeling the scar tissue under your palm.

truthfully, the reason you had attended the charity drive for the hospital with allison was because two years ago that hospital saved your life. the emergency surgery you required had left you with a large abdominal scar. you felt quite neutral about it, but when it came to dating and intimacy, it was a source of anxiety.

you laid on your side, looking at greg, who still had his eyes shut.

"you can open them now" you giggled. greg blinked his eyes open, and turned in bed to face you. his eyes scanned you, lingering at your bare legs.

"suits you," he mumbled, not taking his eyes off you.

you were both silent for a few moments, before greg moved his hand and gently put it on your waist. his thumb stroked your skin affectionately, making your stomach flutter. his hand wondered, first to your ass, then back up to your hips, waist, lower stomach. as he inched towards the scar, you flinched.

"don't," you muttered, grabbing his hand.

greg's eyes narrowed, and you saw a flicker of his diagnostic curiosity in his steely eyes.

"why" he asked, but his hand didn't move or continue moving upwards. you could tell he wasn't asking 'why' because he wanted to overstep your boundaries, or was angry that you hadn't let him explore, it was more that he was just incredibly nosey.

"because i said so," you laughed, moving his hand and placing it gently back to your waist.

greg sighed. "i know you had surgery"

"what?" you replied, suddenly feeling quite exposed. "how-"

"i searched your medical records," you replied bluntly.

"wh- you what? jesus, that's such an invasion of my privacy!" you exclaimed, sitting up. you felt anger burning in your chest. maybe allison was right, maybe you shouldn't have got involved.

"i'm sorry, force of habit" he said casually, still lying down. when you didn't reply, he sighed again. "but you're right. it was an invasion of your privacy. i'm sorry."

you took a deep breath. at least he already knew, which saved you the effort of explaining. besides, allison had warned you, and it's not like your medical records were that interesting besides your surgery.

"it's okay. just...ask next time. don't go digging around."

you lay back down, facing him.

"you don't have to hide it," he said, looking into your eyes.

"hide what?"

he rolled his eyes. "your scar,"

you blushed, both from not getting what he meant and the idea of him not caring was both incredibly sexy and incredibly nerve wracking. you didn't say anything.

"i'll show you mine if you show me yours." he smirked. you thought for a moment, and nodded.

you both sat up, and he rolled up his joggers on his left leg. on his thigh was a shallow pit, like part of it had been scooped out. it was a slightly different shade that the rest of his skin. you could see the stitch scars, little dots circling the wound.

"wow..." you mumbled to yourself.

"you definitely can't beat me in the 'ugly scar' competition." he teased.

"it's not ugly, greg. it's a scar. can i..?" you nodded towards it, moving your hand towards his leg.

he thought for a moment. "be...be gentle." he said quietly. you'd never seen anyone look so vulnerable.

you caressed it gently, running your fingertips along the scar. you could hear him breathing shakily, and pulled away.

"thank you, for showing me." you whispered. you laid back down and leant on your elbow, and greg followed, looking slightly frazzled.

"give me your hand," you asked, and he did. you gently lead it up your shirt, and onto your stomach, where the scar was. you removed your hand and let him roam freely. he slowly lifted your shirt, and you were left unable to hide anything.

he leant down and kissed your scar, repeatedly. up and down the raised flesh, softly and with purpose. he kissed your entire stomach, down to your hips, and back up to the scar. you felt breathless, and if you weren't blushing hard before, you definitely were now.

"so beautiful," he mumbled to himself between kissing your skin.

he stopped and raised his head, before kissing your lips. he wasn't rough but he certainly wasn't gentle. he was hungry for your lips. before you knew it, you were straddling him, kissing him heatedly.

his hands gripped your hips, thumbs circling your skin gently. he occasionally stroked your scar, letting you get used to his touch.

you pulled away, breathless.

"w-we should probably get some sleep." you panted, looking at his bedside clock that read '1:56 am'.

he lightly grabbed your neck and pulled you in for one last kiss, before you hopped off and laid down.

"night, greg,"

"g'night."

[wisteriasymphony]

Chloe had knocked over Marinette's tray at lunch earlier that day. It wasn't anything new, just like the way Chloe had started making oinking noises to Sabrina when Marinette had bent down to clean it up. Or like the way Chloe had said that Marinette didn't really need the extra calories, so she was actually helping her after all.

Lucky Lucky Ladybug kept replaying the scene in her mind, over and over, thinking about just how stupid Chloe would've felt if Tikki had let Marinette transform and give Chloe a talking-to as Ladybug. She had woven the string of her yo-yo between her fingers into a cat's cradle, and every time her hands would stretch apart, the yo-yo would spin on its track. Then she'd bring her hands back together to catch the yo-yo mid spin, the metal body clacking against the bones in her hands. Spin, then clack. Spin, clack. Spin, clack.

Chat Noir had been talking for the past few minutes, but Ladybug never bothered to listen to him anymore. He had probably just made one of his awful puns again, based on the way he started stammering.

"Oh, uh, s-so the joke is that it's a play on the word—" "Have you ever thought that maybe, if you have to explain all of your jokes, you're not funny?" Chat Noir got quiet, his shoulders falling. Ladybug kept her eyes on her yo-yo. "I'm sorry, milady," Chat Noir apologized. "I just assumed you didn't understand the punchline." "Maybe you should come up with jokes other people understand then. That way people might actually laugh at them." Spin, clack. Spin, clack. Ladybug kept imagining Chloe's face, with her pale blue eyeshadow and her cakey makeup.

Chat Noir started to twist his fingers together, the claws on his thumbs digging into his gloved hands. It wasn't anything new—people having little patience with him, that is. His father had gotten him used to it by now. Chat Noir knew that the right thing to do in such situations was just to acquiesce, and that when you acquiesced people liked you more for it. "I noticed you and Rena were on television the other day. How did that go?" Ladybug hunched over herself, scoffing as she wound the string of her yo-yo tighter around her fingers. She had started bring Renared to press conferences and fan meetups because she could trust that Alya wouldn't act like an idiot or say stupid things. Alya was a good friend like that, willing to pick up Chat Noir's slack. Plus, doing things with Rena instead meant that Marinette and Alya could hang out for the rest of the day, and Marinette would actually enjoy herself. Doing anything of that with Chat Noir... would mean she'd be hanging out with Chat Noir. Bad pickup lines and worse jokes included.

"It was fine," Ladybug huffed, rolling her eyes. "Why do you even care?" "Oh- well, uhm. You just used to take me, and I was wondering if you had a reason that you... well... stopped."

One time during an interview, Chat Noir had derailed the entire conversation talking about the intricacies of whether or not their group of holders counted more as a religious or a political organization, entirely unaware that nobody could even begin to care about such a thing. Spin, clack. Spin, clack.

Ladybug thought about the way Chloe's face had scrunched up when she oinked at Marinette. Ladybug thought of Chat Noir's stupid awkward stammer. Ladybug thought about having to admit to her mother that her grades were getting worse.

Ladybug trapped the yo-yo in her hands for the last time, almost trying to crush it.

"It's because she's better at it than you, and I like you better when I don't have to hear you talk. Does that make you happy?!"

Chat Noir almost answered—No, actually, knowing that people didn't like hearing him talk didn't make him happy at all. But he'd learned by now that when Ladybug asked him questions like that, she wasn't actually asking and a response would only make her angrier.

"I'm sorry. I'll talk less, milady."

"I told you to stop calling me that."

"...I'm sorry."

Maybe Chloe could pick on Chat Noir for a change. He deserved it more than she did.

[darkfictionjude]

Okay so I know this is a touchy subject already especially since certain people have already been bitchy about it before, but sometimes Crowny is genuinely difficult to play as. I feel super conflicted about them since they're the literal personification of "damn bitch you live like this?"

Realistically, progress isn't linear and different people get different results even if they do the exact same thing, but as of now it feels like they aren't really allowed to improve at all. If you study you're still mediocre leaning towards bad in terms of understanding. You try to workout you see absolutely no results, not even the tiniest bit. When it comes to the other characters, it's always one step forward and two steps back. When you give them a hobby or try to get them to pick up a skill they find little enjoyment. When people bother them they barely fight back or even argue, and when they do it's like a sarcastic quip or a grumble at most. By the end, they haven't even made a dent. These don't make them less of a person and it doesn't make them a failure since the world is quite literally out to get them, but it's like they aren't allowed any satisfaction in their life. (Yeah it's been like a month, maybe barely scratching two in the current timeline so maybe this contradicts what I first said about progress but I'm dumb as hell)

It's wild to go from the side quests, backstory segments, interactions with the ROs and then Crown family just for all the hype to fade when there's a segment with just Crowny all alone. I know that there's a reason for why they are the way they are, but I literally have to take breaks from reading their solitary moments sometimes because it seems to drag on. I know things aren't easy in this universe, I know the world is supposed to be cruel and unfair, but like can they at least get a cake for their efforts? Or a hug? Or be able to sleep through one night and wake up well rested?

I hope I'm not sounding like an asshole or a insane here. Personally, they're relatable in a lot of aspects. I may not have had supernatural shit going after me, but I had a lot of issues that many of their experiences brush way too close to. It's just the way it's presented that makes them feel like they're like the random piece of chewy cartilage in an otherwise perfectly cooked steak, unpleasant but I'm gonna eat it anyway.

I literally just wrote a whole ass book complaining, but I at least wanna say I do love your work, Crowny included even if my words seem to say otherwise, and I'm super excited to see what happens in the timeskip since i know this is like JUST the beginning. I'm like seriously praying my tone is coming off the right way if that's even possible. If you read through all this thanks. I'm not gonna hide behind anon because I at least wanna be able to explain myself if this comes across wrong.

but like can they at least get a cake for their efforts? Or a hug? Or be able to sleep through one night and wake up well rested?

Well no 😭😭

And that comes from the fact that they are self loathing, depressed as hell and have virtually no support system while dealing with things that they aren’t mature enough to handle, actually their mental health is getting far worse which is by design

I feel like perhaps some readers have not realized just how depressed crowny is. All the things you described about them finding little enjoyment, etc., are key markers of major clinical depression

I feel also people did miss the fact that crowny kind of exploded in the library they didn’t shut up, they didn’t let it go which I think is a positive because this is the first time they’ve have enough to say “enough”

Sorry but I like my things slow burn 💀 that Halloween party is meant to be a breakthrough for them and I think perhaps it’s been glossed over by some because what happened to James has gotten the most attention and the final moment in the woods. Crowny outed their “friends” for the first ever and fought back against their tormentor in only one single night. James for all his issues did the one thing that broke the camel’s back and pushed Crowny over the edge, all 7 episodes have led to this

Crowny is meant to fall before they come up that’s how I wanted it because realistically someone could not handle all of this without losing their mind. It has barely been two months, Crowny has only seriously hit the main plot in episode 4 which in the current timeline was about 3 weeks ago (from episode 7)

Truly the progress that crowny did make in episode 7 should have taken longer, people with crowny’s issues spend years in therapy before they feel they have the right to fight back.

There’s a reason episode 7 is the midseason finale. It’s not only about the plot but about crowny themself….

Dw you’re tune is fine I can usually tell when someone doesn’t think before they write 😭

[luwritesstuff]

home safe

spencer reid x reader

notes: fighting, minor mentions of guns and explosions, happy ending, no use of y/n, gn!reader

wc: 1.7k

It was just after 1 AM when Spencer finally used his key to your shared apartment and dropped his bag by the door. You were sat on the couch with your arms crossed and neither of you said a word while he placed his shoes on the rack and shrugged out of his jacket. Spencer chewed on his lower lip as he took in the anger on your face, “I'm sorry, I-”

“No,” you said calmly and stood up, grabbing your mug and preparing to go to bed, “I don't want to hear it. I stayed up to make sure you got here alive, now I'm going to bed.”

“Wait, no, but,” Spencer sighed and stopped himself from reaching out to grab your arm, “we need to talk about this, honey. I'm really sorry and you're right to be mad, but please don't go to bed angry.” In another argument on another day you might've agreed, but you hadn't slept properly all week and you weren't ready to be reasonable with him.

“Oh, now you want to talk?” You turned back around to face him and dropped your mug back onto the coffee table. Your arms found their place crossed back over your chest and suddenly everything you've been feeling came spilling out, “I've been trying to talk to you all week and now you want to talk? That's not how this works, Spencer! You ignored me and lied to me and you made our friends lie to me. I didn't know if you were dead or alive and you couldn't be bothered to pick up your damn phone for a week. I sat here feeling useless and scared and you just, what? Didn't care?”

Spencer shook his head and you could tell you got to him because his eyes were turning red and he was blinking away tears. “No, that's not it. Of course I cared, I do care. I just, I didn't want to worry you. It was a small injury and then I was just so focused on finishing the paperwork so I could get home to you. I'm fine, okay? It's just a few stitches, but I know you would've sat here by yourself worrying all week if I told you.”

You scoffed and turned to go back into your room, hearing him follow after you. You dug through the closet to find one of your overnight bags and began shoving clothes into it. “What do you think I did instead?” Your phone charger and laptop followed a few changes of clothes, “Do you think that I didn't go through every single scenario and think of every single way you were hurt? I thought, maybe he's dead, maybe he's relapsed and overdosed somewhere, maybe the entire fucking team blew up on the jet because not a single one of you told me what was going on!”

“You would've known something was wrong if I called,” Spencer’s argument was weak and he knew it. His heart dropped when you began packing and he frantically started taking out everything you'd put into the duffel, “No, hey, what are you doing? Baby, I'm sorry. I should've had someone call you, I know that. But I ignored an order from Hotch and I got hurt and I knew you'd be angry with me and worried and I just thought it'd be better to explain everything in person.”

“Cut it out, Spencer,” you mumbled and began repacking everything he took out. “I hate your job. You guys do amazing work and you help people and I admire it so much, but I hate how often it takes you away from me and I hate how dangerous it is and I hate how it follows you home. But none of that matters to me when I'm with you. I have learned to cope with those things because you always come home and you always communicate and you're always so good at reassuring me, but this? This was the worst week of my life and I never want to feel like this again. I will not go through this again and especially not when you could have prevented it. I'm staying at my sisters,” you zipped up your bag and carried it out to the living room.

Spencer stood on the other side of the living room, watching you slide your shoes and coat on. “Was that, I mean, are you breaking up with me?” His voice was weak and he couldn't wipe the tears from his face faster than they were falling.

You sighed and let your shoulders sag before turning back around to look at him. “I need some space, Spencer. There was a second where I really thought you were dead and I felt like part of me had died too. That's not… It isn't okay. I can't keep going like this,” your voice was softer now, no longer spitting out anger but hurt.

Spencer didn't say anything else, he knew nothing he said was going to help and arguing more was only going to make things worse. So he let you leave and tried to stop his heart from following you out the door.

The stay at your sister’s ended up lasting two weeks before you were ready to face Spencer again. He'd texted you a few times, asking how you were, when you'd be home, telling you he loved you. You had answered a couple of the texts, and eventually when he asked if you could talk in person, you couldn't find it in yourself to keep staying away.

“Hi, uh. How have you been?” Spencer was stiff and awkward as he sat in front of you at your favorite cafe with your two favorite coffee’s between you. In the back of your mind, you thought that Spencer reminded you of how he acted on your first date and you let the thought warm your heart just a little bit.

You shrugged and picked at the almond croissant in front of you, “I'm okay. Work has been keeping me busy and my sister got a new puppy. How's your arm?” You asked and nodded to his left bicep where a bullet wound was beginning to heal.

“It's fine, it's good. Doctor says it's healing like it's supposed to,” Spencer said and reached up to feel his shoulder absentmindedly. “Thank you for meeting me. I miss you and I know I have a lot to make up for, I just. I really wanted to see your face.”

You stopped a smile from showing but reached across the table to hold his free hand. “I missed you, too. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch more, but I needed some space to think and clear my head, you know?”

Spencer nodded and gave your hand a small squeeze, “Of course, it's okay. I did something really awful to you and… and I just feel terrible. I should have communicated with you and told you what was going on. I know if the roles were reversed, I'd be so freaked out not hearing from you for that long. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm sorry.”

“I know,” you sighed and leaned back in your chair, “I understand that you were trying to protect me and everything, but I want to know these things, Spencer. I want to know if you're hurt or struggling, that's what being in a relationship is. We need to be able to rely on each other and be honest with each other. And I need to be able to trust you. Every time you leave for a case, there's a little worry that sits in my chest and tells me that it might be the last time I see you. The only way that feeling goes away is if you tell me what's going on and keep me in the loop.”

“You're right. Completely. That's why I got this,” Spencer reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of pagers, “You're the only person that will have the number to this. I'm gonna have it with me at all times, so if I'm on a case or my phone is dead or broken, I'll still have this with me. And if you page me, I'll answer. No matter what. If I'm in the field and I can't answer, I'll page you back and you'll know that I got it and I'll call you as soon as I can.”

If there was one thing Spencer was good at besides being a genius, it was romantic gestures. The thought of using a pager made you want to laugh, but you looked at them sitting in his hands and it made your heart clench. Spencer really only answered work calls on his phone while he was on a case, and you'd grown used to only hearing from him once every day or two. You were used to sitting and waiting anxiously at the end of the day to make sure that he made it back to whatever hotel the BAU was at.

“Are you sure?” You asked softly and reached out to take one of the matching pagers and flip it over in your hands, “I know that you get busy at work. I don't want you to think that I'm being clingy or that I don't understand. I'm fine just hearing from you at the end of the day.”

Spencer shook his head and leaned across the table to kiss your cheek, “I don't think that at all. I don't want you to sit anxiously and feel like you can't call me or that I won't answer. I don't ever want you to feel like you did that week again. I never want to make you feel that way again, honey.”

You nodded slightly and slipped the pager into your purse. “I love you. And I forgive you, yeah? We’re okay,” you promised and after you threw your empty cups away, you pulled Spencer into a tight hug. He held you back just as tightly and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You were back in your apartment the next day and Spencer kept his promise, he only ever made you feel secure and every time he left for a case, he made it back home to you.

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the ending!!

I'm soooo sorry nonny. This took 5ever. For some reason, I mentally decided that the completion of this ask would be the end of my Onyx Storm era, and then I didn't want to go near it because I didn't want the book to be done :(. However, I was brave, and I did it. This got insanely obscenely long, so you're getting Xaden's chapter 65 now, and then I'll reblog with Vi's LAST chapter some other time.

Chapter 65: Xaden

Veninism: I think the first thing that comes up in this chapter is the insight into the venin mindset. Xaden's significantly more intense (both than earlier in the book, and in his previous POV chapters). At first, I wasn't a huge fan of the "ice" thing, because I missed the part where he explains it (perks of reading till 5 in the morning) and I thought it was some anachronistic hockey reference. (Fun fact: I wrote this out before Rebecca gave that interview revealing that, yes, it WAS an anachronistic hockey reference. I know that lady WELL.) HOWEVER! The way it's explained here, (essay below the cut)

"Wrath courses like a current under the ice I willingly skate onto, cutting my emotions like the burdens they are so I can be the weapon she needs." (Yarros, 520)

reminds me a lot of a PTSD flashback/trauma event. Not only does this make significantly more sense with the metaphor at hand, but it makes a lot more sense with Rebecca's body of work. I know she's made addiction comparisons, and I can see some lines, but, frankly, I think it's a much more intricate web than a 1-1 metaphor. Especially with the use of the word "triggered" to describe what happens to him when he is "on the ice" as it were, I think (if anything) it's about using an addiction to cope with PTSD-type trauma.

Bond Fuckery: After revealing that Xaden cannot kill the sage himself, he goes on to say,

"I could no more raise a blade to his throat than I could Violet. The bond between Violence and me is the kind of magic that has no explanation." (Yarros, 521)

Which....is weird! Given that we have a precise explanation for said bond in Fourth Wing, maybe something else is going on? #the power of love?? I'm not trying to say they're soul mates in any real tangible way because this is not that kind of story, but I do think it means something. I just don't know what yet.

Further bond fuckery themes are found earlier in the book. There's the entire situation with Andarna leaving, in which Leothan says,

"Bonds are merely magical ties. You are irid. You are magic. Bend it, shape it, break it as you see fit." (Yarros, 443)

I've definitely seem some people floating the idea that perhaps Andarna broke Tairn and Sgaeyl's mating bond, re: Tairn's suspicious period of rest on page 526, (I personally thought he was tired from killing some dragons!) and I definitely think that's a possibility. However, I think it's really interesting that, specifically, Leothan also says bend it and shape it. I know we're supposed to finish the book thinking that Andarna/Leothan severed Violet's bond with Andarna, and then re-forged said bond mid-battle. To me...that doesn't really make sense? There was no real moment where you can say, okay, bond re-forged. It just kind of happens? Which I suppose is also how it happens at threshing, so maybe I'm the problem. Still, I think the idea that perhaps Andarna (or another irid??? given her 1 week of training???) bent or reshaped Tairn and Sgaeyl's mating bond (in order to protect Xaden/Xaden's mission/Violet from the consequences of Xaden's mission) is worth considering.

There's also the entire element of modern AU no magic isles. I know a lot of people thought that entire quest section of the book was filler, but I disagree. I definitely think that insertion was meant to demonstrate that the bonds are not as infallible as we've been led to believe, to show their importance to Xaden and Violet, and to further show just how much Andarna is not like other dragons, and therefore able to do shit with the bond.

Xaden's new brother! Xaden starts off describing the new venin by saying,

"and now that my sage has a new sibling he can use against me...I'm screwed." (Yarros, 521)

Then, he goes on to add:

"...my new brother and the unconscious dragon lying in the valley...how could he do this? Choose this after watching me stumble and fall over the last five months. How could he willingly walk the path I've fought like hell to leave? He's the last person I ever would have expected to turn, and yet here we are." (Yarros, 521)

My money's on Bodhi! There's a lot of "brother" mentions surrounding Bodhi, given the repeated descriptions of how similar he and Xaden look. He's "the closest thing (Xaden) has to a brother since Liam." Garrick even thought Theophanie called Bodhi his brother beforehand! It's Bodhi. Further nuance to Bodhi turning is found, in my opinion, in his frustration with Xaden's over-protection at the end of Onyx Storm. This feeling of impotence combined with something potentially happening to Cuir (re: unconcious dragon lying in the valley/Bodhi puking his guts up wherever that quote is) gives him a reason to turn.

I know @skyfallscotland thinks Xaden's new brother is actually Aaric, which is also super intriguing. Specifically, Amy suggested a scenario where Aaric knows he needs to be venin in order to win the war, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get to the future he sees. I do lean more towards Bodhi than Aaric, if only because of the element of knowing for 5 months (which Aaric does not--even if he finds out about Xaden's veninism from his signet, RY has confirmed Aaric didn't manifest in IF, and therefore it cannot have been five months prior to Battle of Draithus), Xaden really seems to care about this new brother. I know he says he has a "complicated sort of loyalty" to Aaric, but I don't think he and Aaric at the friendship level where Aaric can be used against him in the same way Bodhi can. There's also the whole having to give Vi Tyrrendor ordeal. I know some people think Xaden may have had a change of heart and decided to listen to Bodhi in regards to not forcing him to lead Tyrrendor in his stead, and/or Xaden just felt giving Vi the province directly (what a wedding gift!) was the best possible way to protect her. Who knows, not me. I think of Xaden as someone not particularly inclined to listening to people when he doesn't feel like it, but I also know he'll prioritize Vi regardless, so it could go either way.

Slayer! This is just for the one line mention of Berwyn killing the dragons with the alloy dagger. For one thing, I think this draws parallels between the venin and the dragons (which have been a theme the entire series). For another, I think this is how Xaden, Vi, and co. go about killing the dragons and elders in order to get to the eggs. Seems a lot less messy!

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once: Throughout the text, there's a couple mentions of individuals inability to be everywhere all at once. Theophanie, in chapter 60, for example: (from my Kindle copy, so no page numbers, sorryyyy)

"You're just another lightning wielder, mortally incapable of being everywhere at once."

Or, the slightly different take from Mira in Chapter 23:

"Even if he did, we can't be in two places at once."

I have no idea why this got me so bad, but every time I read it, my spidey-senses tingled. I really feel like it means something. Xaden then wraps things up with saying he IS everywhere at once, on page 522 in regards to the veninism amplifying his shadow powers.

Do I know what this means? No! Of course not! At first, I thought it was a papa sorrengail is venin hint, but I don't actually believe in that. I have been holding out hope that perhaps Vi is somehow venin from Lilith (this is why I think papa sorrengail had her dedicated. it doesn't really make sense to me for Rebecca to write her with a real disability, and then have that real disability be a birth defect when it isn't one in real life. that just seems odd?) and I think this COULD be a hint there. Although, as always, who knows.

What is a soul if not love? Some of you may know, I've been getting a wee bit heated about the implications of the corporeal soul. I get a bit gagged by this because it makes no sense. I ask @maethologies probably once a day, what IS a soul? And to that question, I raise you this: what is a soul if not love?

page 523 has this:

""I love you.' Violet's voice cracks the cold, and a silken thread of warmth wedges itself in the opening before it seals shut, locking it in place. No. Wait. I grab for that thread with desperate hands, clawing to keep her as more of my pieces are blown away, lost to the void. She is warmth and light and air and love."

For starters, I think "she is warmth and light and air and love" is my favorite quote from the entire series. It makes me want to cry!!! There's definitely something to the fact that being venin makes Xaden colder, and Violet only seems to get warmer in this book (her lightning being hot enough to blister, for example). But really, my focus here is that he's so aggressively in love with her. I genuinely do not know how people read this line, or the rest of the novel, and somehow thought Xaden was just going to go join up with the venin. Genuinely! I am REALLY not trying to be mean, it just makes no sense to me.

I'm going to go a bit out of order here to further contextualize, but other Xaden Riorson bangers include:

"What even am I? Hers." (Yarros, 524)

And, far earlier in the text, when Courtlyn asks to whom Xaden swears his fealty:

"Violet. (...) My loyalty is to Violet first above everything, everyone else." (this is a Kindle page number because I don't want to find it in my book, LMAO, but it's 326 in that format!)

Again, he's constantly making it as clear as humanly possible that SHE comes first for him. He is not going to spontaneously gain venin loyalty. Whatever soul-fuckery is going on here, it doesn't make him incapable of love. If anything, the presence of love is what is going to continue to save him. In the chapter 48 epigraph, in which a scenario is described wherein a venin returns to their village, desiccating an entire village except for her husband and two children. Clearly, the theme here is that the feeling of love helps venin gain control of themselves when lost to the thrall of power, if you will.

Frankly, there's a LOT of issues with venin as a concept and how willing the fan base is to accept the characterization of the entire "enemy" as evil, soulless, and incapable of feeling and love. Just on the most basic level, think about the real world implications of that ideology for about ten seconds. If you can't do that, think about it in-universe. The entire point of books one and two were that Navarre's government perpetuated a narrative of dehumanization in regards to the Poromish people so that Navarrians could see them as the enemy. This tactic of dehumanization is then DIRECTLY applied to the venin. The narrative on the surface-level is: These people ARE human, but these other guys are the REAL monsters. Please kill THEM instead. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen people say "Violet's never killed anyone in the series, she only kills venin!" The very fact of saying these people aren't human; therefore they can die...do you see what I see? I know I'm a bit more thematically minded than the average romantasy reader, but it's really VERY in your face here.

The most obvious narrative purpose for Xaden choosing to turn is that it gives Violet and the reader a way to humanize the venin, just like working with the gryphon fliers in part two allowed us all to humanize them. After I finished IF, there was not a doubt in my mind that this was where Rebecca was going.

And she went there...a little bit? She's about halfway there, I'd say. Violet has started to internally reconcile with the fact that Xaden being a venin makes it impossible for her to generalize venin any further, but there's definitely still an undercurrent of "he's not like other venin!!" I think this COULD be a logical progression of the story, and, partially, I think it makes sense for it to take a minute for her thought processes to shift. However, I think it needs to be better layered? And I think that when you have a book like this one with such a low barrier to entry, you need to do a bit more thematic hand-holding if you want people to really get things.

Anyway, this was all to say: Xaden loves her, and so, his soul is fine. HE's fine. He's not evil, he didn't marry her just to leave, he's not "team venin". Etc! I could go on about this further, and I think before book 4 I'll be pushed over the edge and do so. But, for now, I do think the direction Rebecca is pushing for is the "cure" being the power of love et. al.

Mommy Issues: We come back to Sgaeyl! I know some people think Sgaeyl breaks the bond with Xaden as part of his 12 hour plan, and again, I ask: literally how.

Basically, unlike his mother, Sgaeyl isn't leaving Xaden. When he breaks through the pulling from the earth haze, he asks Sgaeyl if she forsakes him, and she says:

"'What is there left of you to forsake?' Sgaeyl lowers her head and steam gusts down the canyon, reminding me of the moment she found me in the forest at threshing. (Yarros, 523)

My direct annotation here is : threshing! Threshing = choice. And I'm right! Threshing does equal choice. She has the option to forsake him, and she doesn't! Case closed. I will say, just as a side note, the idea that she'd leave him for being extra venin is wack as hell when he became extra venin for her. I don't think she was that heated about him being venin in the first place: the focus of her ire at the end of IF was that he "picked" Violet. "You cannot! I chose you!/ But Violet chose me too." She's just a pick me dragon at heart.

Quest Squad (Xaden's Version) I touched on this in response to my other ask about the ending, but now we're gonna go beat by beat.

Xaden starts what I call the quest intro by responding to Sgaeyl's threshing part 2 with:

"'You tell me.' I lower the ice and let her in."

Clearly, this is Xaden showing Sgaeyl whatever plan he's been concocting in his head.

Sgaeyl's response:

"Her next breath is laced with sulfur, and her eyes widen. 'You cannot mean to--'"

Now, this is just needlessly vague to make sure we buy the next book. Like we weren't going to anyway. Thank you for extorting me, Red Tower. However, at the very least, it reveals that his plan is, shall we say, problematic? Controversial? Illegal?

Then, we have (from Xaden)

"'You saw what happened. It is the only way.' She glances over her shoulder. 'And you think she'll help?' 'She loves me.' 'Tairn does not, and you haven't looked in a mirror yet. The red veins branching from your eyes look like her lightning.' 'She'll help.' It comes out with a hell of a lot more certainty than I feel. 'She promised.'"

Line by line time!

"it is the only way" is mad interesting from Xaden "the right way isn't the only way" Riorson. It could just be the influence of being venin on his psyche---everything feels more serious now, and he himself is more intense. But it's such an interesting switch, especially since Violet's assumed his way of thinking from FW.

At first I thought the pronoun fuckery in SHE'll help/SHE loves me was meant to indicate that the she in question was not actually Violet, but I don't think so anymore. I do think it's intentionally misleading! Again, for the money. But, more than that, I think Sgaeyl is glancing over her shoulder AT Violet and Tairn to indicate who they're yapping about.

Now, how will she help? I think this is a separate quandary than the marriage (hence where I broke up the text). Personally, I think this is him saying Vi goes with him to get the eggs/kill the dragons/etc.

The veins branching from his eyes are intriguing. I know he says he's no longer an initiate on this page, but I don't think he's an Asim either? According to Mr. Drake Cordella's venin compendium, Asim's veins distend only when riled, but Sage's veins are perpetually distended. (Iron Flame chapter 47 epigraph). I guess we'll see? I don't know, it would make sense to me if he was a sage, but who knows.

And, finally, what the hell did she promise?

WAY earlier on in the book, Xaden says:

"Swear you'll sound the alarm if I go too far, that you'll keep it safe, even if it's from me." (Yarros, 58)

This is what I think he's referring to! I know @hockeyspiral23 thinks the 'it' in question is actually the sword of Tyrrendor (correct me if I'm wrong!!) and not Tyrrendor itself. I definitely think there's something to that theory.

A few pages later, Xaden says:

"I'll use Tyrrendor to protect you, not you to protect Tyrrendor." (Yarros, 102)

Not to be a broken record, but again: Intentionally! Misleading! Content! I think you're SUPPOSED to interpret the promise as Violet saying she'll protect Tyrrendor from Xaden, and Xaden saying he's "gone too far". But when you actually look at the text, there's no way that's what he's saying. First of all, why would Sgaeyl think THAT plan wouldn't work with Tairn? Tairn does NOT fuck with Xaden right now. And then, why would Xaden Riorson, president and CEO of the Violet Sorrengail fan club, prioritize Tyrrendor over Violet? He cares about Tyrrendor, sure, but in the face of VIOLET? It doesn't compare. It just doesn't! ("I love you more than this city. Do not die defending it.") He's not winning any king of the year awards with those priorities, but that doesn't make it any less true. I basically already have a post ranting about this, (here! If you're curious) so I'm going to cut myself off here. Basically, we have to remember who Xaden actually is when we try to contextualize this vague ass chapter.

And then, wedding bells!

"'Even if she agrees, no one will--'

'Someone owes me a favor.'" (Yarros, 524)

This is the part of the quest that I think is more directly the marriage issue. This has already been covered elsewhere, but the Priestess from Dunne's temple says she owes Xaden a favor earlier on. She goes on to officiate their marriage. I just think the wording makes it clear that this is a multi-step plan. (How can Violet "help" with her own marriage?)

I already quoted the absolute banger "What even am I? Hers." But I'm going to bring it up again! His loyalty, primarily, is to Violet. Whatever quest he's going on, it's FOR HER. He steals the eggs FOR HER. He''s taking them somewhere FOR HER. I don't know how to make that any clearer, but if I keep seeing people misinterpret it, I'll probably try again.

Agency!

The final bit I'm going to pull is Sgaeyl saying:

"And her decision will determine our fate." (Yarros, 524).

I think this just really succinctly makes clear my 573938503 argument above. Violet gets final say on Quest Squad (Xaden's Version) but whatever he does do, he's doing it with Sgaeyl. I know there's some good bits Rebecca's said throughout the tour that support this interpretation, but I don't think I need them quite yet. Maybe next time!

For now, that's all. I'll see y'all back here with Violet's chapter in a bit!

[bartywinter]

paper · @black-brothers-microfic · bartylus · word count: 672 · tw: mcd

“Your classmates are not your friends, they are your opponents. You must be the greatest,” Mother told him as she straightened his white linen shirt, which had become wrinkled on the way to school. “Always remember you belong to the Noble House of Black.”

Regulus had initially been thrilled to have the opportunity to make friends. He had imagined himself sharing his hobbies with boys his own age, laughing together in the dining hall and playing football on the fresh school lawn. He had dreamed of having a friendship like Sirius and James had, of being so close with someone that no words were needed to understand each other.

Nevertheless, Regulus pushed past his own desires and burned his mother's words into his head. Satisfying his parents was more important than making friends —or should he say 'convenient'? After all, he was terrified of getting the same punishments Sirius received for his rebelliousness.

Consequently, Regulus sat alone in class and ate by himself at mealtimes and watched his classmates in sorrow from across the dining table. During recess, he would hide in the library and sometimes in the bathroom, where he would cry silently for his longing to be with the other kids. He had always looked forward to Hogwarts, but now he just wanted to leave and never come back.

What's more, there was one boy in his class who made him uncomfortable. Regulus had caught him staring at him on several occasions, and the odd thing was the boy didn't even avert his gaze, but either stuck out his tongue or smirked at him. Luckily, the boy hadn't tried to talk to him. He wouldn't have known what to say. He wasn't allowed to socialise.

Regulus unconsciously began to watch him secretly as well. He learned that the boy's name was Barty and his father worked at the Ministry of Magic. He also soon noticed he was always accompanied by another boy in their class called Evan. Both were frequently in detention for pulling pranks on other houses' students. They were the kind of company his parents probably detested. He had to focus on his studies and not on silly pranks.

“It must be done in pairs.” Groans and shouts of delight were heard in equal measure as the History of Magic teacher explained the procedure for the upcoming assignment. “You must hand it in by next Friday. I will not accept any paper after the deadline.”

Regulus glared at his classmates as they paired off. He couldn't ignore the knot that had formed in his stomach. Maybe he could do the task individually, he could go to the professor's office and explain to him he didn't have a partner–.

“You have a partner?”

Regulus looked at whoever had addressed him and immediately became uneasy. It was Barty.

“No,” he said flatly and looked away, embarrassed he had been obliged to give such a ridiculously predictable answer.

“Well, now you've got one.”

Regulus dared to meet his eyes again, which were sparkling with excitement. His lips had curved into a wide grin too.

“Do you want to be my partner?” He shyly clutched the book he held in his hands.

Barty shrugged his shoulders.

“You don't want to?”

Your classmates are not your friends.

I'm sorry, Mother.

“Yes, I do.” He smiled for the first time in two weeks.

“Good!” Barty exclaimed and held out a hand as he smiled warmly at him, showing his sharp teeth. “My name is Barty.”

I already know your name, you idiot.

He squeezed Barty's hand softly.

“Regulus.”

It is said that you are shown an overview of your life seconds before you die, and Regulus proved that to be a lie when he recalled his first conversation with Barty prior to drowning in the deep waters of the lake. Although, it somehow made sense —he hadn't been shown his entire life, but the beginning of it. His life began the moment he met Barty, and how happy he was to die that way too.

[asksnowton]

*tap tap*

is this thing on?

It's been a while, huh?

(Chit chat under the cut)

How have you all been?

Are any of you still here?

Still interested in the story I want to share?

I've been pushing it off for so long

But I do want to continue this.

Sorry it's been so long.

Life has really been hectic. That's all I can say, really. (Along with. I've just had other interests I wanted to explore)

I got compelled to draw this au again, because I've been showing my friend Deltarune for the first time.

Really unlocked some memories and hidden motivation.

So, lemme explain the thought behind some of this miscellaneous doodles.

1: Banner. Our favorite snow hoe.

2 & 3: redesigning Vey's outfit. The outfit themes for this au are wintery, so every unique au outfit has fur in it. Couldn't think of a way to incorporate this with Vey while speaking to their laziness AND their job as a fashion designer, so at first I gave them a hoodie and called it a day. BUT while brainstorming, I realized bathrobes can be fluffy, AND elegant, while at the same time signalling that Vey hasn't gotten out of bed/put much effort into their appearance.

Sorry for the long ramble on these two, I'm really into design and stuff, and their design was bugging me for a LONG time and I FINALLY figured out how to tackle it in a way I like.

In future drawings I'm probably gonna have the robe drape a bit more though. Like a semi-train of that makes sense

4-6: Vi ice-skating. I've become really attached to the idea of Snow au Vi doing this. It fits her. Elegant, cold.

7&8: So. This is gonna seem random (cause it is) but Vi x Tasque Manager has been a ship in my mind for almost as long as Vi has been introduced to the blog? I never could figure out a way to incorporate it organically though, so it never happened. Dunno if it will ever happen. But they mean a lot to me so I decided to share the them. Ig it's up to you guys if you wanna see them get together sometime. So lmk your thoughts on that.

9. Tasque Manager and Swatch friendship. She is so concerned. She thought that little man was dead. And she does not like the fact that Swatch is sacrificing so much of their mental health to care for him. Potential boss battle.

10. Ice Jevil. This has been his design concept for quite some time but I think I can do better. I've been trying not to show this au's Jevil, I've been wanting to keep him a super secret... But I think everyone knows he's here already lol.

As long as I don't spill anything story wise, I figured there's no harm in showing him y'know.

So behold.

The boy!!!

Uh yeah

That's it I think.

I might get to doodling more story stuff.

After years of struggling mentally, I think I'm ready.

See ya when I see ya

Love you guys fr fr

[pillowspace]

BELOVED PILLOW. MARIA. HELLO. I MUST INQUIRE A QUESTION OR TWO

I understand 25% of Sonic . I wish to understand at least 60%, for a passing grade, ofc. and my mutual on the sonic fandom is absolutely right all the time. I swear.

where do i start

Oh god. I grew up here, I don't kn. Okay. Um. Okay. This is like asking someone for tips on their native language vs. the language they studied. OKAY. LET ME THINK

Right, so first, you should know what the games even are. Here is a list of main line games. You may especially want to be familiar with the Sonic Adventure games as they will be mentioned quite often. You can find playthroughs, you can play it yourself, or, get this: so many people are Sonic nerds and the world is beautiful so there's entertaining posts on the Internet explaining Sonic lore. I believe in you to find the funny videos that catch your interest because they're absolutely everywhere on Youtube

You may also see a lot of references to Sonic 06 due to its introduction of characters (Mephiles. Silver. Blaze technically isn't from Sonic 06 but). It makes for very funny videos at least because the game is uh it's a game <3 OH, people will also reference Sonic Forces a lot but I don't think I ever properly comprehended Sonic Forces even when I saw a playthrough

Also if you want to know about things other than the games, these exist:

You can find a ton of videos about how wacky the older Archie Sonic comics were as well as how it all exploded. People tend to be very fond of the IDW Sonic comics which exist now. As for shows, there's been Sonic Prime, Sonic Boom, Sonic X, Sonic Underground, etc. Not suggesting you go through these, just?? Mentioning their existence??

This is mainly just giving you a few references. Funny Sonic lore videos on Youtube will be your friend, there's so many good ones. You can open enough videos until it infects your recommended. If you want to know more about a specific topic once something gets you curious, you can also search for that. Sonic youtube is beautiful. I'm sorry I have literally no channel to recommend to you, someone do it for me if they want /silly

This is not a good answer, I am scrambling here. This answer is literally me going "have you tried looking it up" for several paragraphs

[lover-of-mine]

It's so frustrating. And it's even more frustrating when it's people who supposedly want what we're all saying it looks like is happening just doom shouting into different inboxes and then when we do try to explain it, for the thousandth time, they come back and reargue the same point we just explained away. No television show is going to have their actor break the fourth wall and say "okay so my character just said that but what he really meant was this". That will never happen. I don't understand what they think they're watching. the show has really not made it complicated to follow at all. It's pretty in your face.

EXACTLY!! The show is very obvious. When they want us to care about something they make it clear. When they need us to feel a certain way they make it clear. You have no idea how many "oh I wanna believe your analysis but I've been burned by *insert queer ship was objectively more fanom than canon and people lost sight of the show it belongs too* so I need to believe *worst outcome possible*" I get. I'm sorry, but how do you live like this? You think I was right about the breakup green because of luck or something? And like, this fandom is allergic to letting a storyline develop. If everything isn't solved as quickly as possible, they don't want it. "If they don't kiss on 810 then it's not happening" is the new "if Eddie doesn't come out on 806 then it's not happening" and dear god, just watch the show? I don't know if this is a product of being newer fans who binged the show after s7 and don't know how to handle a season happening week by week or if this is because people got used to made to binge 9 hours movies split into 9 episodes streaming shows, but people need things to be fully spelled out by episode 2 or else the world is ending. Jesus.

Yes, I know I'm saying this as someone who wants buddie to go canon this season and have been very loud about it, but I don't want to gamble on a season we're not even sure we are gonna get when they already pulled the trigger on Buck's feeling realization and it would be odd to let this drag out for the next at least 13 episodes for no reason other than to drag it out when that means making it happen at the earliest in October because for some reason people seemed to have decided the clock restarted when Buck came out and that's not how it works. Like, every procedural slowburn has the "external force keeping them apart" phase and that's the "believing they are straight" thing they have, there's no reason to delay that more once they are out.

[tookishcombeferre]

Sofia the First: A Lesson in Visual Literature

This is the most Parent-TM thing I will likely ever write. So, if this doesn't interest you, I'm sorry. But, it's something I actually deeply appreciate about the construction of Sofia the First's writing as someone with a small child.

Sofia the First is actually structured a little bit like an old school epic.

We have a protagonist who goes on a true hero's journey.

From the opening pilot to the finale we open and close in the village house in which Sofia lived. We get explicit commentary on how much she has changed over time. She has, physically, aged. She has gone on literal adventures to different realms and places. Interacted with (almost) god like beings. And, in the finale, even descends and ascends, into an "underworld" of sorts. It's, in every sense of the word, a hero's journey.

The finale especially is set up to highlight the hero's journey arc. The song at the beginning of the episode recaps Sofia's call to adventure, her mentors who each have their own solos (Baileywick, Mom, Dad, and Cedric), as well as the number of times she has had to "cross the threshold" between her world and the Mystic Isles. We see Chrysta (her helper) recapped and highlighted. We see Sofia using the skills she has learned in the Mystic Isles to stop Prisma. Despite the fact that this ultimately fails, and Vor is unleashed.

The rest of the finale is dealing with the failure that ultimately leads to the "death" that is Sofia being placed in the Amulet. While inside the Amulet, she has the "revelation" that her love is her power which allows her to defeat Vor. The "change" and "atonement" pieces are a little dicier - but - the people around her do that/ have done that, and those changes and atonments are what set her free in the end. The changes that Sofia herself helped to cause, the atonements she helped to bring about, are what allow her to be set free.

The gift she received in the end, is her Amulet back and, as is quite traditional, it is presented by her mentor. She, and those who have participated in her adventure, are returned changed. She is made a full Protector. (I'm not sure how I feel about this personally given her age, but for the sake of Sofia's story as an epic? I'm all about it.)

And, the story ends.

Each episode leading the the finale also helps to move the narrative towards that ending. It's pushing us towards that final arc of "Death and Rebirth" to the ending of the narrative.

Which, for a show geared towards 2-5 year olds?

Absolutely INCREDIBLE.

Personal issues that I have with how old Sofia is to be doing certain things aside, it's amazing that they make the hero's journey archetype accessible to toddlers. Like, I could actually explain this archetype to my kid in the next year and a half and be confident they understand "The Hero's Journey" if I simplify the language just a smidge.

Again. Amazing.

Outside of that, the show also tackles things like dramatic irony.

Throughout the show, we often know the villain's schemes well before our protagonists do. (We know Cedric's plans the whole show. We know about Ms. Nettle's plot as Sascha. Etc.) And, it's SO well thought out to be able to ask a kid even as young as three "When you know something another character doesn't, how does it make you feel?" "Why does it make you feel that way?"

Dramatic irony builds suspense. That's what it's designed to do. You want the kid yelling "Don't trust that! It's not going to work! OH NO!" Because, that's what dramatic irony does.

The next layer is when they ask "Why are people nice sometimes and not nice sometimes?"

Because THAT'S where the real talk happens.

Dramatic irony builds the opportunity for social emotional learning to take place. It builds the opportunity to recognize the difference between when characters like Cedric, Ms. Nettle, Ivy, and others are acting in ways that are self-serving vs. self-giving and how that makes them and others feel.

Right now, Squish and I are stuck just on how people feel.

"Sofia is sad. She's crying."

"Why do think that's happening?"

*Crickets*

The question is there even if we can't get an answer yet.

Additionally, all the way back in the pilot we have foreshadowing about the Amulet of Avalor being chosen for Sofia by fate. This eventually leading to Elena's plot to have Sofia help her get free.

Not, going to say too much more about that because that's just true. I love foreshadowing as a plot device, and I'm happy to see it used continually throughout the series.

The episode "Through the Looking Back Glass" is an EXCELLENT way to introduce the concept of flashback. It sets up a magic item that gives easy access to flashbacks without making them annoying and overly heavy handed in exposition.

I also really like the subtlety of the one in "In Cedric we Trust" where we see the illusion of a young Roland and Cedric playing as Cedric is singing. Very subtle. Very nice.

Both are well placed. Very emotive. And, flashback, when done well, should add emotion and emotional context.

Can't wait until Squish is a little older so we can discuss that more because that is a little more advanced that even the dramatic irony.

Finally, we have symbolism.

The Amulet of Avalor, the Family Wand, even certain colors throughout the show seem to carry weight.

The Amulet of Avalor, of course, seems to be the most obvious symbol. It represents kindness, goodness, and love, amongst other virtues. Even after Elena is no longer granting blessings and curses, it still seems to carry the same weight to protection and blessing with it. It holds onto its nature of being a symbol of virtue by being what leads Sofia to becoming a protector of those who need her through her kindness and goodness. It's her wit, her strength, her devotion, and her pure-heartedness that see her through the trials she's placed in, and all of that comes with her association with Amulet.

Now, obviously these are not the words you'd use with a 2-5 year old kid.

However, what I love about all of this, is that it is WRITTEN in a way that can be approached AT 2-5 year old level. There are layers here.

When speaking about the Amulet, you can talk about the way the Amulet itself shows (or leads to) goodness.

When talking about flashback, you can talk about why it's important that we know about the past to understand the characters in the "now." "Do we feel more sad for them?" "Does it help us understand why they did what they did?" "Why do you think that is?"

All of these concepts are SO important to be written at this level because it allows these youngsters to grow into reading and analyzing much more complex media with better literacy skills for being exposed to things that are written in really explicit and obvious ways.

If you read this, thank you.

I'm a parent. I'm a former English major. I also just really want to see people be media literate. I REALLY, REALLY think more shows need to be written for the 2-5 age group in this structure BECAUSE it exposes them to these literary devices even if they aren't explicitly defined.

[super-ion]

I turn on the faucet, splash some water on my face, look up and-

“Fuck!”

Instinct takes control, spinning me around to look for the intruder that isn't there. My elbow bangs painfully on the wall of the cramped washroom.

“Sorry,” Libby mumbles from somewhere over my left shoulder as far as my brain can tell.

I flinch slightly, resisting the urge to search for the source of the phantom sound.

A different instinct tries to kick in, detached and rational, trying to let my panicked lizard brain know that there is no one who can possibly be in the room with me.

Both voices are wrong. Libby is definitely in the room with me, she just isn't hunched over by the door like when I spotted her out of the corner of my eye in the mirror.

I rub my smarting elbow and try not to think about the itch that has started up where the chitinous mass of her shell has grafted itself to my spine.

But trying not to think about it has the opposite effect. My stomach sinks in response to an emotion that isn't my own.

“I'm sorry,” she repeats.

“Can you please stop apologizing?” I sigh.

“I'm…”

A tingle of frustration jitters through her, tingling through the ganglia that are currently wrapped around my brainstem.

I look back at the mirror, focusing on my own face to let the apparition of her appear again in the corner of my vision. I still can't decide exactly who my brain decided it wanted her to be. I can only ever see her in the periphery. She's just a sort of vague out of focus figure. A random stranger in a cafe I saw once maybe. A curtain of hair and an oversized sweatshirt.

I still don't know why I named her Libby.

“Something on your mind?” I ask her as I pick up the razor.

I set it down again. I haven't needed to shave at all in six days.

“This is like the scorpion and the frog thing? Isn't it?” she asks after a moment.

“The what?” I ask, somewhat befuddled

“I heard Carson and Reggie talking about it when you were asleep,” she explains. “Some kind of story about being unable to resist our nature. I'm the scorpion, aren't I?”

I feel my lips tug slightly into a frown. Her species can't hear, at least not in the way humans do. And I was also not previously aware that she could actually understand spoken Engelsk. I don't know what it all means, but it leaves me disquieted.

She senses my mood and I feel another apology coming on.

“Do you even know what a scorpion is?” I ask, heading her off.

“I…”

Her frustration becomes somewhat bemused.

“Well no,” she admits. “I thought it was kind of like a…”

I don't have a word for the mental image she sends me. Some kind of nightmare arachnid from some unnamed alien desert.

“Yeah, close enough,” I say, somewhat terrified.

“I can't escape my nature,” she says. “I can't stop my biology from changing you. But you aren't a typical host for my species. What if I'm killing you?”

I sigh.

“You're not killing me.”

“But the medications-”

“Are for you as much as me,” I interrupt. “Auto-doc doesn't know shit about how to handle this situation. It doesn't want my body rejecting you before we get to a real medical facility.”

Gods below, but I am tired of the nasty cocktail of immunosuppressants.

“Why did you decide not to go into stasis for the trip back?” she asks in a small voice.

I knew this question was coming. I had been asking myself exactly the same thing constantly since I chose to stay conscious and ride out whatever Libby was doing to my body.

I studied my face in the mirror, the softness of the jaw, the smoothness. My eyes wandered down to my chest, where soft aching mounds were taking shape. I thought about the very real possibility of her repurposing my reproductive system, filling me with her eggs and-

No. Nope, I was definitely not thinking about that outside of the privacy of my own quarters.

Regardless, the thoughts had my heart racing.

“What if…”

Fuck, could I even say this aloud?

“What if we got to Persephone Station and we… didn't go through with the extraction procedure?”

“What?”

“What if we stayed together and… I don't know, tried to work something out?”

I saw that post about that one kind of barnacle that forcefemmes crabs and it may have planted a plot bunny in my head.

Human ship responds to distress call from alien ship. It's critically damaged and the crew is mostly dead. Human MC gets exposed to parasite, but their ship lacks a medical suite capable of extracting it safely and since it is technically sapient they can't legally remove it

MC has to cope as "his" body starts changing and he starts hallucinating an avatar of the very apologetic parasite

[pdouwes]

Hi, I'm a big fan of your blog and your gifs in general! I was wondering if you had any tutorial on how you color? Particularly your Wicked and Hadestown gifs look incredibly gorgeous and the colors really pop, and I'm so curious as to how you achieve those effects. Amazing work overall :D

hiii, oh my god thank you so much!! 🥺❤️

i'm happy to show you how i color my gifs but pls note that i basically have no idea what i'm doing, everything i know i taught myself via trial and error and this is just something i found works for me.

that being said, here's a quick (and very messy) bootleg coloring tutorial under the cut!

okay so, when it comes to making gifs and coloring in general, good source material is key. bright and clear videos make the coloring process SO much easier.

i picked an old 2010 wicked oberhausen boot for this tutorial. it doesn't have the highest resolution but the colors translate nicely and the lighting is pretty good as well.

now, this is our base gif cropped and sharpened. i usually want my gifs to look as natural and as close to their base version as possible with just colors and contrast enhanced slightly. baby steps are important here!

first thing i do is add a brightness/contrast layer. these are my settings for this gif:

i rarely ever go above 20 with either brightness or contrast. adding too much early on will make your gif look grainy in the end. our gif now looks like this:

not much has changed but a little goes a long way, trust me. next up is a curves layer. i click the little arrow to open the drop down menu and select increase contrast (rgb). afterwards i reduce the opacity. for this gif i set it to 52%.

this will darken the gif again but it also gets rid of these white spots on elphaba's dress which is great.

next, we start playing around with colors. i usually use 3 color fill and one or two selective color layers. this really is just playing around until you find the settings that you think look good. for this gif i wanted to enhance the green and neutralise some of the yellow, so i went with two color fill layers first.

green to slightly enhance the green of elphie's skin and blue to neutralise the yellow in glinda's hair.

next we're going with a selective color layer. think of the colors you want to pop. for this gif the obvious choices are elphie's skin and glinda's dress.

i added a second layer to further adjust the greens

and ended up with this gif

i then added another color fill layer, set it to multiply and reduced the opacity to 12

followed by a color balance layer

the purpose of these layers is to slightly "cool down" the gif, meaning they decrease orange/yellow undertones while enhancing the blue and purple ones.

next up is a levels layer to add a tiny bit more brightness

followed by a vibrance layer to make existing colors pop

and another curves layer for more brightness/contrast with the opacity set to 50%

our gif now looks like this:

almost done! we're finishing up with a black and white gradient map layer for some more depth

and a cooling filter to further reduce the yellow/orange tones of glinda's face and hair

and that's it!

so, here you go. this is my coloring process most of the time. sometimes i add more layers (on top or in between), other times i use less, it all depends on the specific scene and the mood i'm in lol.

now, could you leave out some of these steps? yeah, definitely. some layers probably don't even make that much of a difference but i like adding them anyway.

you can download the psd here. feel free to play around with my settings and add or delete layers as you see fit. hope this was at least somewhat helpful!

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[thelaurenshippen]

ah yes, the sweet sting of rejection from a billion dollar corporation who believes that "action stories don't appeal to romance audiences", welcome back my old familiar friend