#i don't know how to exist without people. which is so funny bc for so long i've acted like i'm so invulnerable and independent and don't | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jeonqkooks · 2 years ago

Note

hello, my angel! congrats on your anniversary for starters hehehehe, i love you!

for the drabbles requests, could you do:

21 and 41 - smut

8 and 9 - fluff

thank you 🥰

velvet cherry | jjk (m.)

pairing: jungkook x reader

prompts: "call me that again." + "lay down and stay still."

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genre: exes to lovers (??), agent/spy au (idk it's pretty vague but all you need to know is that their profession is smth like this!), some fluff, some angst, definitely smut

warnings: mentions of injuries, mentions of violence (gunshots, blood), mentions of death, cursing, shower sex, unprotected sex (this is fictional. don't do it irl, be smart dudes), fingering, a lil dirty talk, UNEDITED bc i'm a menace :p

word count: 5.9k

note: pauli bby!! thank you for the request hehehe. the initial idea i had for this request was different but i was watching bad and crazy (kdrama) and every time lee dong wook has an action scene i'm just sitting there in front of my laptop, full on thirsting bc 🤤🥵 and i just had to channel it into this piece!!

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Everyone is yelling, screaming. Even the force trying to shake you into consciousness practically shouting in your face. Your head feels like it’s been split into two even without all of the loud noises threatening to deafen you. Your body hurts. You’ve definitely bruised your ribs, if they aren’t already broken. Even your face, which remains unmoving, aches from the simple act of breathing.

Inhale. One, two, three…

Exhale. One, two, three…

Stay alive.

It would kind of really suck if you died right now.

Embarrassing, even.

“C’mon, c’mon, wake up! Y/N!”

Huh? You know that voice.

It feels like your eyes have been glued shut, but that voice is so familiar that your lids wrestle with weariness to get a look. It can’t be him, can it? How would he even know that you were here?

Does that mean this is heaven? Or the void, or wherever the fuck it is that people often preach about? You have never believed in an afterlife because any and all life ends after death. Your soul doesn’t enter another spiritual plane of existence; you just simply cease to exist. This has always been your stance on the matter, but now, as you listen to that voice desperately cursing out your name, you waver.

Because that’s the only way you can explain why he’s here.

Oh, so you did die?

“Y/N!”

Heaven, or the void, or wherever the fuck this is, sure is loud.

You force your eyes open despite the debilitating exhaustion eating away at you. It takes a moment for your vision to adjust to your poorly lit surroundings. From the corner of your eye, you see small fireworks erupting before their booming echoes reverberate throughout the room. The lead projectiles whiz above your head, right behind the silhouette of him hovering over you, calling for you, shielding you.

Once his face becomes your focal point, everything around you staticizes. You can’t find it in yourself to care about the screams, nor the gunshots, or even the gash in your side where a knife grazed you earlier.

Not when he’s looking at you like that. Like if you were to die, there’s not a single part of him that would hesitate to follow.

“I thought I recognized th–that voice.” You cough, feeling the cut on your lips open wider. You hadn’t noticed the metallic taste on your tongue until now. “Funny seeing you here, Jeon.”

The feeling in the pit of your stomach thickens. It could be relief, or it could be dread. The lights go out before you get a chance to decipher which one it is.

The next time you wake, you jolt upright with a gasp.

“Ah, shit,” you instantly groan; it feels like something sharp is jabbing into your abdomen. You brush your hand over the spot to find smears of crimson on your clothes, but the wound underneath doesn’t seem to be bleeding anymore.

Where the fuck is it now?

Your frantic eyes scan the room, expecting to find yourself still in that warehouse, hopelessly holding on for life while your teammates get killed one by one.

But you aren’t there anymore. There aren’t bodies scattered all around you nor bloodstains splattered carelessly on peeling walls.

No, where you are smells like jasmine and fresh cotton. It’s warm and bright, and it’s filled with framed photos of a familiar dog that you once loved even more than his owner. The couch beneath you feels like a cloud carrying you through the pearly gates.

Arguably, this seems more like heaven. Or is it a twisted version hell? It feels like a stretch that someone like you could get into heaven, if there even is one.

“Welcome back, sleeping beauty.” His voice from behind startles you into action. You spring from the couch, or more like, you clumsily jump up only to be met with white hot pain that courses through your entire left side, and fall down onto the sofa again.

“Fuck!” you hiss through gritted teeth.

He rushes over, almost dropping the mug he was holding in his hand. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

Apologetic hands help you into a proper sitting position. You don’t know why or how, but it really is him.

Jeon Jungkook, what a sight for sore eyes.

The discomfort you feel in your body takes a backseat momentarily as you stare at him and his beautiful doe eyes, shimmering with concern though it’s now much more diluted than before. He examines the stitches on your forehead and your side, it’s been a while since he’s done this.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You snap back into reality at the sound of this.

Fuck! How could it have possibly slipped your mind?

Your words come out in an uneasy rush. “Where’s Namjoon and the others?”

Jungkook stares at you, tongue in cheek, blinking in mild disbelief. Of course the first question you ask is about your team. You haven’t changed, he sees. “They’re at the hospital. They’re fine,” he says.

You close your eyes and heave a heavy sigh, visibly relaxing at his confirmation. When you turn to him again, you ask, “Where are we?”

“My apartment.”

“Why? Why am I not at the hospital with them?”

“You don’t remember?”

The confused look on your face tells him as much.

“You woke up while they were stitching you up. Nearly made a scene and everything. You kept saying you wanted to go home, but your place was trashed so I… brought you here.”

You wonder if you had actually demanded to be brought to his place specifically, after seeing him when you were so delirious before. You wonder if he’s just sparing you the embarrassment. “Oh,” you say simply, glancing around the room. You haven’t been here in a long time, but most of the things here are still the same.

“You haven’t answered my question. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

You shrug, ignoring the throbbing pain that has dulled into a perpetual pinch in your side. “Of course I’m okay. Still alive and kicking.”

Jungkook’s brows furrow just the slightest. “You almost died tonight.”

“But I didn’t die, did I?”

“Why are you acting like it’s no big deal?”

Nostalgia washes over you in waves. You’ve had the same conversation a million times before.

“Because it isn’t that big a deal,” you say, feeling the urge to coat your words in a thick layer of bravery. “It’s not my first rodeo.”

“And that’s supposed to make it better? You could’ve died!”

“What is up your ass?” you ask jokingly, but it doesn’t sound right even to your ears. “You keep pushing it like you wanted me to die.”

Jungkook stares at you blankly, but you can tell that he’s agitated by your flippant attitude. You regret the words the very second you said them.

“That’s not funny,” he says, his voice strained.

Slightly ashamed, you look down at your hands and fiddle with your grimy fingers. “Y–yeah, I’m sorry. That was… too far.”

There’s a bitter taste in your mouth as you watch him grit his teeth and attempt to exhale a steady breath. It comes out a little shaky, a sign of his frustration. He takes a few minutes to calm his nerves while you sit there in silence, not usually tongue tied around him but even you know that what you just told him was pretty fucked up.

Finally, Jungkook says, “Get some rest. You had a long day.” He goes to help you up without you asking, still so considerate even when he’s trying to not be angry at you, but that’s not what you need right now.

“Can I take a shower first?” you ask.

“You just got your stitches a couple hours ago. You can shower in the morning.”

“I know. It’s… I’m covered in blood and dirt. I’d really like to wash it off.”

He looks at you as he considers it. This isn’t Jungkook’s first rodeo either. He had to deal with you countless times like this, when you’re freshly wounded but you don’t seem to give a damn about doing things that might hurt you even more.

“Suit yourself. You know where the bathroom is.”

You mutter a thanks as you let him pull you up from the cloud that he calls a couch. You could feel his eyes on you as you wobble to your desired destination, but even the short distance between his living room and bathroom proves to be a whole trek in your current condition. You’re surprised that you even made it to the hall when your legs finally gave out on you. You brace yourself against the wall, but one of Jungkook’s strong arms is already wrapped around your waist, steadying you before you could collapse.

“You should get some sleep. You can barely walk,” he urges gently.

“I feel like shit, Jeon,” you tell him. “I won’t be able to get any rest like this.”

“Y/N–”

“We both know you’re not talking me out of it. You can choose if you’re gonna help me or not, though.”

“You want me to help you… shower?”

“Will you?”

He won’t, you’re sure of this. Jungkook isn’t teasing or frivolous as you are. He doesn’t go around testing people’s patience like you do. The relationship didn’t end on bad terms, and you think he has deliberately kept it that way because you have to see each other at work so often, even though you’re assigned to different teams. You want to keep things light, to joke around with him, to essentially still be you and him minus the romance but Jungkook keeps you at arm’s length. And if you’re honest, you can’t blame him for that. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck sometimes; you used to love him after all.

He looks pensive for a moment, and you don’t know why he’s even pretending to consider it when he’ll just say no anyway. You’re prepared for him to reject you and leave you to your own devices, but then–

“Fine,” Jungkook says, voice flat, eyes blank. “C’mon, I’ll help you.” It surprises you into complete stillness, wondering if the doctors and nurses fucked up when they were stitching up your head. The man in front of you raises an eyebrow when you don’t respond to him, as if he’s challenging you, which staggers you even more because he usually doesn’t entertain your outrageous ideas like this. Especially not after you parted ways.

You blink a couple of times and find your voice from where it’s stuck to the back of your throat. “Okay then. Lead the way.”

Jungkook guides you down the hall and into the bathroom. You think he’s just baiting you, challenging you back to see if you would actually be okay with hopping into the shower with your ex because even though it isn’t that scandalous of an idea to you, it is to Jungkook. You expect him to back out any second now, but once you’re standing under the warm white light of his bathroom, he asks if he could take off your clothes.

Have you underestimated him?

You nod your head, eyeing him with a smug smile tugging at the corner of your lips and a barely-there layer of underlying nervousness. His face gives nothing away. So you two are really going to do this, huh?

Jungkook peels off your bloodied shirt, careful not to let his fingers brush against your skin though they will have to in just a few minutes. He averts his gaze as he helps you step out of your clothes until you’re completely bare.

You mistake his reluctant eye contact for shyness. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” you joke.

True.

But no, that’s not the reason why he refuses to look at you.

He hated seeing you in pain, covered in bruises and cuts. It’s why the two of you broke up. You were too stubborn to quit, and he couldn’t stand watching you treat yourself like mere collateral damage, as long as you get the job done.

It wasn’t that you couldn’t take care of yourself. In a lot of ways, you’re far more capable and skilled than he is. But sometimes you can be reckless, a little too hot headed for your own good, a little too heedless of your own safety than he can handle.

He loved that you were remarkable at what you do; it’s what drew him to you in the first place. When you used to spar together, at the beginning of your relationship, he loved that you could kick his ass so easily. Sometimes, even on his best days, he was still no match for you.

But what’s the point in dwelling? None of that matters anymore.

Jungkook takes off his own clothes then, and you resist the urge to focus on his body too much. He’s gotten even more muscular than the last time you got to see him naked. Hard pecs that are practically popping in your face, solid abs that demand to be touched… Well, this is going to be… interesting.

He tests the water first before he lets you go in. When you finally do, you sigh as the warm water rains down on your skin, enveloping you in a liquified blanket of comfort. You’re trying not to let your eyes wander, you really are.

You hum happily when he smooths the shampoo over your hair. As his fingers massage your scalp gently, a soft moan escapes your throat. The sound travels straight to his groin, making him stiffen just a little bit and poke into your thigh. You bite your bottom lip to suppress a giggle but Jungkook just clears his throat awkwardly. Getting a boner feels inappropriate in a moment like this, when you’re his ex and you had nearly died earlier tonight.

But he isn’t responsible for the way his body chooses to react, not really. You’re showering together, for fuck’s sake. Though to be fair, he has no one to blame but himself for this irrational decision.

When he lathers you up with his body wash, you decide to do it again, just to tease him. As his hands start kneading one of your breasts, you let out a slightly exaggerated moan.

He knows you’re doing it on purpose, but his dick is stupid and it hardens regardless. “Quit it,” Jungkook says.

“Quit what?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at him coquettishly. You put a hand on his chest, then trails it lower to graze his defined abs. “You look like you’re enjoying it, no?”

He doesn’t answer you, choosing to focus on his task of washing you instead, as if ignoring you will make you stop whatever it is you’re doing.

You trace your fingers along his V-line until you wrap your hand around him, making him hiss as you touch him. You give him a few lazy pumps until his member is standing tall and proud, just for you.

“Y/N…” Jungkook grits his teeth and swallows thickly. The steam is suffocating him. You are suffocating him.

“You can tell me if you don’t want it.” You tilt your head up, letting your face inch closer to his until your breath fans his lips. You feel him grip your waist – an act of restraint – then quickly loosen his hands around your body as if he suddenly remembered that you’re still battered up. You brush your lips against his, just testing him. You both know a kiss would be so much more intimate than what you’re doing to him down there.

He parts his lips slightly, the temptation is getting too strong to resist. You cloud his judgment the same way the hot water encloses the room in a mystifying haze. He presses forward to capture your lips, only to feel himself completely melt against you in an instant.

You taste like longing, like regret. Something like a needle pierces right through his heart when you give him a needy sigh, muffled by his own lips.

He knows he shouldn’t do this, but is it a mistake? Even if it is a mistake, he can’t find it in himself to stop, now that it has already started. You’re still as alluring and captivating as ever, and he’s still the same Jungkook who always fell to his knees for you.

“Touch me,” you whisper.

“Y–you’re hurt,” Jungkook rasps. Is that the only reason? There’s no conviction behind his words and he knows you know it. If he was really against this, then he would’ve stopped you already.

“Please.” Your voice is different, desperate, when you say this. He can’t tell if you’re crying or not because of the water still glistening on your face, but it doesn’t matter. When your hand guides one of his between your legs, he squeezes his eyes shut, searching inward for that last bit of self-control that’s nowhere to be found right now. You’re so fucking slick, and as his middle finger slides through your sodden folds to find your entrance, your head falls upon his shoulder.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself, barely audible to you over the sound of running water. You’re hurt. He knows he should stop, but he can’t. His thumb finds your clit in no time, and nudges it the way he remembers you liked. You choke on an exhale, now grinding against his hand and gripping his biceps to keep yourself upright. He rubs you leisurely as the water cascades down your bodies. A part of him thinks he’s twisted for enjoying the quiet whimpers you let out.

“Are you sure?” he asks, both hoping for and dreading the answer you might give him.

“Yes,” you confirm. You press his hand harder against your core, as if you’re begging him to pleasure you. “Make me feel better.”

Jungkook slides two digits into you before he slants his mouth over yours, swallowing the moan that you instantly keen out. You’re wet enough that his fingers can drive in and out of you without much mercy from the get-go. He buries them in you until he’s knuckles deep, scissoring you open how he always did to prepare you for his cock.

“Fuck, Jeon,” you purr, rolling your hips to meet the thrusts of his hand. “That’s good.”

“Yeah?” He smirks, finding that spot inside of you that never fails to make your legs shake. His strong arm holds you flush against his body as he relentlessly fingers you, absolutely loving the way your juices run down the back of his hand. There’s a sense of arrogance in the way he fucks you, even though he was hesitant about it just moments ago. The quivering moans that you grace him with are fucking addicting. At least for now, he has you. Standing in his shower, begging him for release, whispering in his ear things that he hasn’t realized how much he’s missed hearing until this very second.

His fingers ram into you until your inner walls are pulsing around him and your voice hitches beautifully. “Fuck!” you cry, holding onto him as the high crashes down on you, sending shockwaves throughout your entire body. You grind down on his hand, wanting so desperately to prolong the pleasure like you’re afraid he’ll take it away from you. Jungkook would never dream of giving you anything less than what you deserve, so he maintains the momentum of his thrusts, fucking you through your orgasm even when you clench so tightly around his digits that it becomes more difficult to move. He helps you through it until your breath no longer comes out in heavy pants, until the only stars you see are the ones in his eyes.

As he withdraws his fingers, you give him a chaste kiss as if to say thank you. He doesn’t expect anything more; it’s enough that he could give you a helping hand in your time of need, make you forget about everything even if it was only for a little while.

But then you’re deepening the kiss, one hand tugging on his hair as the other finds his hard cock again. He groans against your mouth, torn between asking you to keep going and letting you stop. “You don’t have to…” he mutters, placing a hand over yours.

“I want more,” you say breathily, but somehow it sounds almost demanding. “I want you.”

He stares at you with uncertainty in his eyes. “Are you sure you can handle it?”

Your answer comes in the form of a squeeze around his length, making his eyes flutter briefly as he rests his forehead against yours. “I can always take you.”

You watch Jungkook clench his jaw before he crashes his lips onto yours, promptly slipping his tongue into your mouth to draw the neediest of moans from you just by his kiss alone. He lifts you up by the back of your thighs and cages you between the wall and his chest. Your legs wrap around his waist as he presses his body against yours, slowly grinding his cock against your throbbing heat. You whimper when his tip nudges your sensitive clit.

“I need you,” you cry out, rutting against him desperately. He hears it then – the vulnerability in your voice that you try to mask with desire – and that’s when he thinks he gets it. You’re shaken.

You were scared tonight. That’s not something that happens very often.

He was scared too. He nearly lost his mind when he heard the news that your team was ambushed. You should’ve seen his frantic state when he raced to the scene, heart speeding a thousand miles an hour at the mere thought of something happening to you. He prayed to every god he didn’t believe in that you’d be okay, that the phone call he received minutes prior was just a sick prank someone was playing on him.

“I’ve got you,” Jungkook says, diving in to kiss you again. There’s a lot more to those words than either one of you would like to admit.

You both sigh when he pushes in, and although it’s been a long while since your bodies knew one another like this, there’s barely any resistance. He fits perfectly like you were made for each other. He’s bigger than you remember, already feeling so good inside of you that you think you could come with just a few thrusts. Instead of moving, he stays there like he wants to memorize the feeling of you, so warm around him and so inviting.

He was always the sentimental one.

“Move,” you whine, still bossy in a moment like this. He chuckles against your mouth before trailing his lips tantalizingly slowly across your jawline and down your neck to your breasts, where he sucks on your skin harshly, marking you. His hips pull back, making you moan from the delicious glide of him along your slickened walls, before they snap forward and set a pace that has your eyes rolling backward.

“Shit, nghhh…”

It’s like no time has passed at all. Jungkook still remembers everything you like, still knows your body like the back of his hand. You feel like you’re practically transcending the limits of space and time with every thrust of his hips and every motion of his mouth. The rough way that his fingers dig into your thighs to hold you up makes it so much more heightened as his lips wrap around one of your breasts, sucking it harshly into his mouth, his tongue laving at your hardened nipple. Now that you’re finally experiencing this again, you don’t know how you could go two whole years without it.

Every part of you misses him.

No one knows how to please you like he does.

“So fucking good…” Jungkook grunts, flicking your nipple with the wet muscle of his mouth. You arch your tits further into him as moans of unfiltered pleasure fall from you. Even as he fucks you into oblivion, he’s still mindful of your injuries. Strong hands kneading your skin roughly but softening when they brush over your bruised spots.

He tries not to pay much attention to your battle scars, but how could he not? He feels them under his fingertips everywhere they go. Some are from before you met him, some from after. Some he doesn’t recognize because you must have acquired them during your time apart. He always hated them. You used to tell him that you wore your scars proudly, that they are proof that you survived every horrible thing you’ve had to face.

That’s certainly one way of looking at it, but Jungkook hated them then and he hates them now. Not because he thought they made you ugly – no, nothing could make him see you as anything less than the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes upon – but because they remind him of all the times that you have had to suffer. They made him feel unworthy of you, for not being there to keep you safe.

But not like you would have let him anyway.

“Ah, fuck, Koo…”

His hips stutter in surprise. He’s not sure if you did it on purpose, or if it just slipped out in the heat of the moment.

“Call me that again,” Jungkook tells you. It doesn’t matter that the simple nickname brings up feelings he’s been trying so hard to suppress. It doesn’t matter that those feelings are damn close to spilling over the confines of his wretched little heart, that it will fucking hurt later when you leave He just needs to hear you say it again.

“Koo, fuck! Right there, keep doing that…”

He tears his mouth away from your chest to come up and chase your lips. His tongue slips inside to dance with yours, so much more intimate than it is dirty that it makes you dizzy beyond nostalgia. In a split second of weakness, it makes your heart want to be his once more. His thrusts are now even faster than before, harder and more calculated.

He pulls back enough to look at you and takes in the blissed look on your face, how your lips part when he hits your g-spot just right. “Y/N, I…”

“I know,” you whimper, your nails digging into his back and leaving angry red trails in their wake as they drag downward. “I’m close too.”

That’s not what he was going to say. Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re too fucked out to notice it.

“C’mon, I’ve got you,” Jungkook resorts to saying. He keeps up the rhythm of his hips, determined to give you what you want the most. He’s pounding into you so impossibly deep that you can feel him in your guts, each thrust making the base of his cock grind against your aching clit. It feels so fucking good, you can’t even see straight anymore. His hand is unknowingly digging into a bruise on your leg but the pleasure is too overwhelming that you’ve stopped caring about the discomfort. This is exactly how you wanted him to fuck you – hard enough to make you forget the pain.

It hits you even harder than before. You cum with a cry of his name as your toes curl and your body shakes in his hold, stars exploding behind your eyelids when the orgasm wracks through you like an earthquake. Jungkook’s hips never cease their movements, fucking into you until you find enough strength to squeeze your walls around him and pulls him in for a sloppy kiss. He unravels then, filling you up endlessly with his warmth that you’re sure you’ll feel for days.

You stay like that for a while, just holding each other, until he softens inside of you and you feel your releases drip down your thighs and onto the floor. The water promptly washes away the remnants of your heated session. When he slips out and helps you to your feet, you want to chase it instantly – the feeling of him, with you, where he’s supposed to be.

You aren’t fully present for everything that happens afterward. As Jungkook dries you off and dresses you, he feels something tug on his heart at the sight of you in his clothes. Your tired face and the way you lean into him, trusting him to keep you steady as he prepares you for bed. Trusting him to keep you safe, to protect you.

He can’t help it.

He tilts your head up by your chin and kisses you softly. Slow. His lips are gentle, but he’s sure of himself. This isn’t the first kiss you’ve shared tonight, but in many ways, it is.

When Jungkook pulls away, he doesn’t say anything. No excuses or explanations on why he chose to do it when the lust has waned and the moment is no longer heated enough to muddle his mind. You don’t ask for anything either; you just let him lead you into his bedroom. That doesn’t mean that you don’t want him to just tell you anyway.

He tucks you into his bed as if you’re a child. When he’s sure that you’re comfortable enough, he turns to leave.

You protest immediately. “Where are you going?”

“To the couch,” he says, like it’s obvious.

You sit up in order to push yourself from the bed, erasing his previous effort of tucking you in. “I’m not making you sleep on the couch in your own home.”

“Lay down and stay still,” Jungkook sighs before pushing you back onto the mattress again. “If I stay here with you, will you please sleep in the bed?”

You purse your lips, considering this for a moment before you compromise. “Yes.”

He turns off all the lights and makes his way to the other side of the bed, getting under the covers with you. You’re disappointed when he puts a little distance between your bodies. It’s not that you expected anything to come from your brief reunion, but your heart sinks regardless. Surely, sleeping in the same bed as your ex can’t be worse than having sex with him? You’ve already done the latter, but somehow this feels so much more intimidating.

You do what you do best when you don’t want to deal with your more difficult feelings – crack lame jokes and hope they’re enough to diffuse the tension. “Why are you so stiff? Scared that I’ll fuck you? Already did that, Jeon.”

Jungkook throws you a humorless chuckle. “Was that your plan all along? To seduce me?”

“It just happened,” you say. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it before y’know… you popped a boner.”

If the silence in the room was a little bit louder, then you could probably hear the way he pauses halfway through a breath. He doesn’t entertain you for much longer, even though it feels like he’s got something on his mind.

He doesn’t ask what this means for the two of you, if it even meant anything. What’s the point in trying if the outcome is the same? His stance on the matter hasn’t changed at all. After what happened to you tonight, it just fueled him even more. He won’t deny that his feelings for you are still there, because he’d be the first to admit that they never went away to begin with. Jungkook would try, he would try for you a million times over, but in the end, where would that lead to if you wouldn’t even try for yourself? You’ll just keep breaking his heart day in and day out, over and over again if this recklessness of yours persists.

“Go to sleep, Y/N,” he says tiredly.

You bite your lip, disheartened that he’s shutting you out again, even though he has every right to. “Okay,” you mumble.

Despite the exhaustion submerging you like a tidal wave, you can’t find rest. You were conscious for barely half a minute when Jungkook found you in that abandoned warehouse, but you could hear the panic in his voice as he tried to shake you awake. He never had to find you like that before. When you were still together, every time you got hurt, you never let anyone call him until after your wounds had already been stitched up, until you were sure that you were good enough to crack a joke once he’d rushed to the hospital.

Tonight was the first time he saw you on death’s door. You didn’t know if he even cared anymore. You were scared to think that he didn’t.

But then you heard that voice of his, and you opened your eyes just long enough to see the tears fill his eyes. You were so out of it that you thought maybe, just maybe, there was a piece of his heart that still felt something for you. Something beyond just concern for an ex lover.

You don’t know how much time has passed, with you lying there staring into darkness. “Jeon, are you asleep?” you ask quietly, only to be met with silence from his side. Nothing but his steady breathing. You want him to be awake to hear you say it, though you’re not sure how you want him to react to it. The past 2 years have been hard. Your own guilt chews you up and spits you out every single day. The breakup was your fault, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just Jungkook who repeatedly expressed concerns for your safety. Your parents never wanted you to go into this line of work in the first place.

You were too selfish to really consider anyone but yourself. You and Jungkook both do the same thing – you go out and risk your lives every day. But back then, you didn’t understand why you should be the one to stop. Why not him? Why just you?

The difference between the two of you is clear as day. Jungkook knows when to stop, and you don’t. He wanted to be able to make it back home to you more than he wanted to catch a bad guy. He put you first. He put the people who loved him first.

“I think I’m going to quit.”

Your chest feels so much lighter as soon as the words leave your mouth. Something evaporates from within you, a burden that’s finally been lifted, and that’s how you know it’s the right decision. You aren’t doing it just for everyone who loves you but is terrified for your life all the time. You aren’t doing it just for Jungkook. You’re doing it for yourself too.

Peace finally finds you then, as though it’s been waiting for you this entire time.

You don’t mind that Jungkook is already asleep. You said it, and admitting to yourself that maybe it’s time to stop, is good enough. Having that conversation with him in the morning won’t be late. You’re already halfway to dreamland when you feel him right behind you, enveloping you in a warmth that’s so distinctly Jungkook. He carefully wraps an arm around you and pulls you close to his chest, close enough that it feels like his heart is beating right into yours. He sighs, like he’s wholly relieved too.

You can’t discern what he says next, but you can feel the kiss he presses against your hair.

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mixelation · 1 year ago

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on the hiraishin in reborn au ->

this isn't necessarily the "canon" i'd use for every fic but: i decided the hiraishin markers can only be used by minato, and also he can only use ones he makes himself. i think with the way i set things up in plasticity, it's probably a chakra compatibility thing, so someone else could paint one using his chakra and then he could use it (and that person couldn't). so During The War kushina was helping him put them on kunai en masse, but "minato can only use ones he makes himself" is how most people understand it

also, the marker itself isn't the technique. it's only a guide for him to use the technique. tobirama's markers look different, so i think the shape of the marker is pretty malleable? he doesn't necessarily have to get every brush stroke exactly right, so he can make them on the fly, but he'd have to retrain himself pretty thoroughly to start using a new type of marker.

i'm going with these rules bc it explains why he left a bunch of markers that never fade all over the place without any anxiety that anyone would steal the technique. it's because it'd be like trying to reinvent a plane using the runway as your guide, and then it wouldn't even be able to use the same runway. like, if you were going to manage it, you were going to manage it regardless of if you'd studied the runway or not, and you'd have to build a new runway to boot.

okay, so. does tori reverse engineer the a plane with just a runway? no, that's nigh impossible. she does something worse. :)

so for mutagenicity i want tori to be a little bit fascinated with time-space jutsu, because they're one of the more complex branches of fuinjutsu, and she's never explored it before. like storage is technically space-time stuff, but also not really. she doesn't know a lot about it.

when she's little and living with the utano clan, someone brings back one of minato's kunai and sticks it in a chakra-proof box they have. and i'm thinking after all the clans merge into a village and orochimaru slowly starts picking off former leadership so he can be the undisrupted ruler of otogakure, tori manages to steal the box. she spends some time studying the kunai and its marker and she's like: hmm yeah if anything this is like 0.8% of a technique. disappointing. she does go to orochimaru and is like: hey when u stole a bunch of konoha techniques did u also happen to steal the hirashin. and he's like omg wtf no. lmao. you tihnk i'd be here if i knew that?? and tori internally is like: hmm yeah he would have killed hiruzen already if he could teleport. or at least be off bothering anko once a week

she gets to learn more about space-time fuinjutsu with kushina because they're using one to transport ibiki. and she's like well why SHOULDN'T i ask about hiraishin what else would a twelve year old do. and kushina is like AAAWW yeah everyone wants to know <3 but it's top secret and also way out of your league baby genin :)

and at the fallout of the mission, when she and deidara have to manually drag ibiki out of the village because the only transport jutsu tori knows requires one other person and that person was kidnapped in front of her and itachi is off saving her, tori is pissed. so she draws minato's marker on a wall and the message "can you find them all? ;)" which is pretty funny psychological warfare in that it makes iwa desperately search every inch of itself for markers that don't exist, but also minato doesn't actually gain access to iwa. (i know, less fun)

but i decided tori doesn't know this when she did it, so when someone explain it to her she's like "WELL WHY CAN'T HE USE OTHER PEOPLE'S CHAKRA" because her whole thing is hijacking other people's chakra. but at this point she has not adequately demonstrated or explain this to kushina OR minato so she gets what they feel is an age and skill appropriate answer and she feels is a deeply condescending non-answer. also minato makes her cool genjutsu proofing seal forbidden >:(

years pass, tori opens up and learns to trust, minato has to forbid a bunch more seals and every day gains more white hairs, etc etc. and i was thinking "if her arc is about learning to trust, we need some moments to Test Her" and "what could give tori a melt down"

so i decided it might be fun to play around with a mission where her teammates straight up leave her for dead. i'm still rotating details, like what exactly happens and how bad it is emotionally. (is it malicious? just a cowardly call? someone picking the mission over tori?) but i have decided it's some other inconsequential non-canon team, and she's "left for dead" but still has enough time to sit there and contemplate that this happened to her but also can't get out. think locked in an underground room slowly filling with water or something.

now, tori is a creature who runs on stress and spite. so these are actually the ideal conditions for her come up with her best ideas. she knows minato's hiraishin markers work as a homing beacon for a transportation jutsu, she knows a shit ton more about transportation jutsu now, she knows the specific properties of his chakra and has done extensive research on how to adjust fuinjutsu to work with different types of chakra, and also she's been spitefully rotating this problem in her brain like a rotisserie chicken, so she's like. actually i can hijack minato's hiraishin.

she draws up his marker and makes a truly cursed seal around it, concentrates on konoha, and voila! she manages to teleport to a forest in fire country.

also, halfway across the country, she's just scared the every loving shit out of minato, who immediately shows up to investigate, rasengan waving.

tori: (SCREAMS)

minato: ???? prove who you are >:(

tori has been freaking out and will continue to freak out for several more days, because she was finally feeling safe, like she had a home, and she just nearly died because actually you CAN'T trust people you haven't thoroughly vetted, and also the goddamn yellow flash just nearly murdered her, and and and---

luckily minato calms down much more quickly once tori stutters out her verification codes. yes, okay. tori figuring reverse-engineering hiraishin was nightmare #1, but actually his TRUE fear should have been someone hijacking his markers because they're in his home and on his family, but that should have been impossible, so thank you tori for showing him true fucking fear. but actually by this point he low-key figured learning True Fear would come from someone on team 4, if not his own family, so why not. so he listens to her barely cohesive story about being betrayed by her team.

because she solved her problem via teleportation, she actually beats the rest of her team home by a week. so minato is like: okay, I believe that you are telling your truth, but as hokage I have to investigate and listen to both sides of the story. so why don't you lay low at my place and we'll wait and see what your team says when they get back. so he dumps her at his house and then goes to look up the new seal that she hooked up remotely??? and yes she did do that, and she DID do it in a cave now completely submerged, and he destroys and at teleports back and has to rethink his life.

(while this is happening, please imagine tori curled up n the uzumaki-namikaze house angrily drinking a juice box while naruto explains a comic he's reading to her)

and i think the eventual conclusion is minato decides he should have been retooling his marker every once in a while and he wants to have konoha-only ones so enemies who've seen his main one can't exploit that flaw, even if the chances of anyone repeating what tori did are EXTREMELY low. unfortunately that does mean he has to basically reteach himself the technique

minato, clapping tori on the shoulder: we can do it..... together <3

(also i haven't decided what happens to Team Traitor, in part because I haven't 100% decided what they do lol)

and so tori's trust in various people is reaffirmed but them acting totally cool even after she broke the hiraishin so bad that minato has to remake it for village security. also her jutsu gets so forbidden they're not even going to make any sort of record of it <3

naruto while they're waiting for minakushi to finish making dinner: why's my dad teaching YOU hiraishin?

tori: i hacked the cloud

naruto: he won't teach ME hiraishin

tori: do you want me to teach you to hack the cloud?

minato, in the kitchen: I HEARD THAT

#reborn au #tori: can i sit in a swivel chair with my back to them and then after they report me dead #tori: i turn around and go 'OR AM I?'#minato: NO.#minato: well.#minato: maybe

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halliescomut · 5 months ago

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Love Sea Ep 3 watch along

Okay, but that little reminder text is a perfect example of showing you care without saying you care. 🥹

Okay but sometimes Mame is unexpectedly very deep and very good with words.

P'Vi confuses me. I do like the blunt honesty her and Rak have though. That's important in friends.

Mook is so absolutely adorable. If Vi makes her cry I will figure out how to kick the ass of a fictional character.

So it seems their dad did worse than just leave them based on that convo between Rak and his sister. (I think I remember discussion of that from where ppl were discussing the novel on Twitter, but I did make the decision to not try and read the novel first.)

I kinda wanna know where all of Mut's button-up shirts are from. I really like them.

Rak being all depressing and Mut and ....shoot I forgot his name again... going diving.

Mut(Fort really) is just so cuddle shaped.

On iQiYi the OST lyrics overlap with the actual captions and it's annoying as fuck

This fucking nosey ass 🤣🤣

The difference in aesthetics for their clothes here is so wild. I will say though that I like that there's wardrobe repetition. That's not always common in TV, and it really fucks with the believability. I know it's more common in Thai BL, but that's mostly bc so many involve ppl that wear a uniform of some sort (looking at you University BLs).

Interesting...very interesting. I talked.... somewhere... About how the social power dynamics at play here were dangerous because they were going into this whole thing without being honest (with themselves or each other) and it was going to have fallout.

I don't know if I'm surprised Mut took so long, or if maybe I expected him to take Rak's verbal abuse a little longer.....

A beautiful scene. It's a lovely bit of physical acting how Rak sort of melts into Mut.

I do think it's so funny how Mut always says he's so simple (and in some ways he is) but people seem to take it to mean not smart or clever, and he's very obviously both. I can't tell if he truly sees himself that way or if it's an attempt to have people underestimate him....maybe it's both.

Well now I'm just depressed. Thanks a lot Rak. But seriously, I do appreciate the clarification of the family dynamics. I'm also a bit surprised Rak is opening up so soon to Mut about this. Idk if it's because it's at the front of his mind, or if Mut's kind of easy acceptance of everything makes it seem easy...idk.

Ruh-ro raggy .... Rak thinks this is gonna be a failed experiment because he truly doesn't think real love exists, but I fear he will be wrong (this is a romance after all).

I'm curious about Mut's motivations though. I believe he believes in love. I also think he wants Rak to, or maybe just for Rak to have some peace? Idk. He's surprisingly hard to read. As much as I think he likes Rak (both as a person and a sex partner) I don't think he's fallen in love with him at this point.

While I do love a fake dating storyline ... I'm still on the fence about P'Vi.

I feel like Fort had to carry Peat for a long time for this scene. I bet his arms were killing him. (Though we've seen the gym pics, I know he's been working out.)

That's so cute.

Oh yeah...slow mo pushing the hair back. Very Baywatch

Are we doing more beach sexy time?

I Guess Not. We're back at the keyboard.

You're gonna sit here and tell me that's not a goddamn puppy in human form??? LIES!!

He's goddamn adorable. I'd want one for myself if I wasn't Ace and had any idea what to do with one other than feed it and take it for walks.

Peat's got nice hands 🥵...send tweet.

That was such a sharp poke. OMG 🤣🤣

Okay but this is practically a still from the PaiSky fanfic I wrote. Linked here.

Rak likes cuddles. Cute little bean.

Palm ....that's his name. I was thinking Pond earlier, which is close. And now he's being nosey again.

Mut's face when Palm waved back🤣🤣🤣 Like bitch I ain't waving at you

I do think it's sweet how determined Palm is to be a good wingman though.

I do appreciate the love bite front and center. But what are our thoughts on whether it's makeup or a 'practical effect'?

"A dog in rut more like." "Well then his owners is as well." 🤣🤣

Mut's nervous to take Rak to his home. Sweet, but legit if Rak were to judge him for his home I would vote for kicking him to the curb, no matter how much I like him.

Ahhhhh.....so Ja is VI's costar...okay. God I forget how fucking tall he is. Mans practically a redwood.

Is this like Wedding Plan, but make it straight???

I know that bunny purse is entirely impractical for the person I am, but it's so cute.

It really is weird people would be claiming boob job when I think Vi is a B cup on a good day.

Very impressive just fully ignoring the sexuality question Vi.

Mook, babes....you gave in way too fast.

"I'm not bi." I know a lie by omission when I see one. That statement does not equal that you are straight.

You are a damn liar Rak. This little visit has nothing to do with inspiration. You want to be nosey and learn more about Mut.

I like the environmentalism aspect woven into the show. It's good.

As if I couldn't hate your dad more Mut. Calm down Satan.

So we know why Mut left. But really how can someone make their living from nature but not care enough about it??

Okay exhibitionist Rak.

Idk why but there's something about Rak straddling Mut that just....

Well.....we can tick off the Fort's nipple obsession of on the bingo board.

And we're returning favors. Very egalitarian.

Two condoms....well. You certainly had plenty of energy there didn't you....

There's a couple wrappers on the floor, but those do look unopened.

Also vaguely off topic: while the sheets are not the Slutty Geometry Sheets™️, I think my sister has the same kind.

Hmmm....now this is a juicy conversation. Rak being so intentionally honest here telling Mut to ask him to stay. He's afraid to take the leap, but he wants to.

As a side note....I cannot tell you how much I love them showing Fort's physical 'imperfections'. The kind of farmer's tan he has going on, you can see the stretch marks on his upper arms. He's an absolutely gorgeous man, but so often that stuff gets filtered out, or covered in makeup. I love seeing it. We need this more.

OMG I'm crying.

This is important though. Rak needs to know that his answer will have consequences.

That was the right answer. (Though the shabby hole comment about his house was a bit much. I'm hoping that's more a translation issue.)

I suspect the country mouse shall go to the city in next week's episode.....

Awwww Rak in Mut's tank top. Cute.

I really thought Rak was bare-assed for a second pulling a Pete, but no, he's in khaki pants.

So cute and sweet 🥹🥹🥹. Also, I love the bed net. Malaria is no joke.

So next week are we looking at just an NDA or is that contract for like a full Sugar Baby position??

Also end credits change-up again. Now MutRak are walking together....symbolic.

Well that's all for this watch along. I don't think I'll have 4k words to say about it tomorrow, but we shall see.

#love sea #love sea the series #love sea ep 3 #fortpeat #peat wasuthorn #fort thitipong #tongrak x mahasamut #mutrak

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onehundredandeleventropicalfish · 2 years ago

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every so often i see people complaining that the rules that govern the endless are unfair and shouldn't exist, and it's always just kinda funny, bc im here like oh you do NOT want to get rid of the rules, trust me

is it unfair that desire gets away with so much bc they're the only one willing to break the rules? yeah, probably. but the solution to that is more rules, not less, because we're dealing with 7 immortal siblings who've been around since the dawn of time and have the maturity levels of teenagers

and in that context all of the rules make so much sense

like there's probably more rules than we know about, but let's focus on the main three - no loving mortals, no interfering in each others' affairs, no spilling family blood

1) endless can't love mortals. the one rule we know was instated later than the rest, almost entirely because of dream. for two reasons. the more obvious is that dream and desire are never gonna stop fighting, and when you put a mortal in the way of that, they are almost definitely gonna get murdered or worse. but also, there's lifespans to consider. not every dead mortal can end up in the dreaming, and not all of them want to. dream dating someone mortal means at some point, he is going to outlive them, that's not in question. and dream... doesn't take loss well. he stood outside in the rain without moving for three weeks when thessaly left, and they'd only been dating a few months. and then we have lucien's word on what happened after nada...

if the dreaming entirely comes to a halt for weeks or years or centuries after a girlfriend leaves him, dream grieving an actual death of a partner is actively dangerous. you can't stop dream from dating, and from those relationships going poorly, but at least it has a much higher chance of being a mutual breakup if death has been taken out of the equation

(and, you know, might as well make it a universal rule, both just in case, and so dream isn't constantly aware that this one was made because of him)

2) no interfering in the affairs of other endless. think, for a second, about the sibling rivalries in this family. and that's just the ones that exist now, when several of them have had a chance to grow up - it's said they were all a lot more immature and prideful, even death, back in the day (she grew into the older sister position).

i saw someone say once that everything in the dcu makes sense when you consider that the universe is being run by seven warring siblings, and honestly i'm inclined to agree! they're all a mess

but at least they're messes that mostly leave each other alone. which means their domains are at least protected by the fact that they all individually care about what they were created to do - there's only one person making decisions and that person generally wants the best for those that enter their domain

death in the show talks about how when she was young, she had a hard time seeing her purpose, because everyone seemed to hate her and she didn't know what to do about it. what she says in the comics is that she did stop. once it really started to get to her, she refused to collect souls. no one and nothing died. and it was only through realising how much more that was hurting the world that she started to learn how to be okay with it

when any of them stop or get distracted or kept away from their jobs, it's the mortals who suffer. and even if they all meant well, which they often don't, have you ever tried running important projects with seven people leading? at best, it slows you down, at worst it can ruin the project entirely. given how much they try to tell each other how to live their lives already, if they were allowed to get up in each others' business, you might as well be jamming up the cogs of the universe

3) can't spill family blood. so, it's easy to look at that and see orpheus, and rose walker, and all the traps that dream almost or did fall into. but as far as i'm aware, other than orpheus and unity's descendants, we don't know of any other kids of the endless, and those were all pretty recent, on a universal scale. honestly, given how dream is the only hopeless romantic of the family, i'd be willing to bet orpheus was the first. so it's extremely unlikely when this rule was put into place that children were on anyone's mind. time and night are on such a cosmic scale of power i don't think even all of the endless combined could kill one of them. which means this rule is about each other

and given everything we just said about interfering with each other, can you imagine if they were allowed to kill each other? because endless reincarnate, death amongst their family would lose all meaning. you could kill one of your siblings for annoying you and get back a potentially less annoying version of them almost immediately. but every time you did that, you'd be disrupting the functions of the universe. and with siblings like dream and desire, who don't see the other's domain as important at all, they wouldn't care. if they'd been doing it since the start, it's possible none of them would see that as a bad thing

you'd have the universe falling apart before it could even really begin. and they might not even notice

#sandman comic spoilers #dream of the endless #death of the endless #desire of the endless #delirium of the endless #destiny of the endless #despair of the endless #destruction of the endless #mine #meta

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rosesocietyy · 1 year ago

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Brilliant people have said everything that needs to be said about this much much better and I don't got anything substantial to add but I just have to get this off my chest cause y'all I'm still in disbelief

like this is a grown ass person btw oh I simply have to laugh😭

this perfectly exemplifies literally everything cringe af and wrong with these "assigned welcomers". this is just my scapegoat but there are way worse I've seen

First of all, get a job. how, at your fossil age, do you have time to spend all day scrolling through every single iwtv related post and arguing with people who say anything even slightly damning about lestat (which mind you, is literally just objective facts about things he did). I'll dm you a McDonald's application hell I'll even put in a referral for you out of the goodness of my heart.

Second, Lestat is not a real person. he's fake, a made up character, the figment of someone's imagine, non-existent, people hating him will not affect your life in anyway shape or form. He didn't assign you as his PR agent I promise you'll live. "They'll never accept him" ok and?!?

Question, and I'm genuinely asking, is this their first time in a fandom? why is someone having a different opinion about a character they love enough to send them into hysterics like?? 13 year olds on anime twitter have a better grasp on reality that y'all do get a grip!

And like the above posts have talked extensively about, I most definitely noticed whose posts a specific bunch of them love to go under to share their dog shit "explanation" that nobody asked for. When a black person sees Louis being brutalized by his white lover what do you expect their reaction to be? oaur wow this white french slut is so pussy cunt slay period queen? "but louis is flawed too" do you hear yourself? do you listen to yourself when you speak? can you activate the barest hint of brain activity to understand why we would react differently to what we're watching than you would and that knowledge of the source material has nothing to do with it? Just because you read those shitty books and posses no empathy for black people in media doesn't mean you gain some higher understanding of "gothic romance ".

"No but the thing is you don't understand this is a gothic romance and they're supposed to be monsters and lestat has suffered saur much and he's also the real main character so you must love him" so now how exactly does that negate their point about him being an abuser? quickly! sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up when black people are sharing their thoughts on the show cause who the fuck are you fr and what convinced you that you have the right to argue with them about THEIR experiences. that tweet that said white people act like God left them in charge, yeah.

Funny enough, half the people that are so gung ho about him now didn't even fw him at all when they only read the first book. wow it's almost like you were allowed to sort out your feelings about him on your own without insects disguised as people in your mentions calling you slow for not licking his feet.

I despise so much in this fandom. From the bottom of my heart I really truly do. I don't know what I was expecting, I guess more common sense and maturity because the average age in the fandom is quite high compared to other fandoms I've been in but nah, just mfs screaming and crying bc ppl don't jump up and down and scream yipee! everytime their white fav commits abhorrent, disgusting crimes.

I was so caught up in the euphoria of an anne rice property finally being given to skilled creators who'll pick it apart and say something poignant with it that for a moment, I forgot I lived in a world where majority of its audience would sadly be the anne rice crowd.

#gag is the first time watchers don't even hate lestat as character #they all think he's brilliantly written #but because they're not calling him mother and liking edits of him to club music #those roaches have decided to take personal offense #interview with the vampire #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #amc iwtv

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silawastaken · 8 months ago

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I love seeing people compare music to their favourite characters and go like 'oh yeah this verse might be this character... and then this one is the other one... and then this little bit here is them both honestly. Or something like that' because I HAVE gone through every taylor swift song on evermore and folklore and compared it to skk. Sorry to be autistic on the writing account, but this is a fanfic writing account and I'm writing my second novel length fic about them so what did you expect.

folklore/evermore are very canon skk, and verge into fanon and some songs are the reason for very specific head canons, or some of the ways I write the way they perceive each other. 1989... DON'T GET ME STARTED OMFG HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO BLANK SPACE? I THINK IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT HAVE AND OMG IT'S SO SKK CODED LIKE WTF. I HAVE VERY FIRM OPINIONS ABOUT WHICH LYRICS ARE THEIRS. Also the vault tracks literally exist what more do you want from me. 'i think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting' okay dazai pack it up you did that already, beast exists. 'i call my mom sister she said that it was for the best remind myself the more i gave you'd want me less' yeah yeah chuuya we know he left you get over it, it wasn't personal(think that line could go for either of them but the other line 'the way you faded till i left' feels more Dazai personally). Plus suburban legends. For personal reasons I struggle to listen to song without SPIRALING FUCK YOU THAT ONE PERSON SEHDHSSJNS but very skk as well 'we were born to be national treasures' is very soulmates of them. And out of the woods screams them in fanfic when they try to get better. Red, straight away all too well. They both remember it all too well. All too well skk cover with switching vocals anyone? The last time. The one with gary lightbody. Underrated song, is my favourite on that album, and SO THEM. 'this is the last time you tell me ive got it wrong, this is the last time i wont hurt you anymore' because they're fated to be together and are constantly drawn to each other and yet keep HURTING EACH OTHER RAGH. also 'we are never getting back together' is pretty funny and nice when applied to them. also state of grace. any taylor song with a mild drop of religious imagery is them cause yeah. but 'i never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same'... okay pack it up, we don't have time for your yearning. 'you were never a saint' (dazai abt chuuya) 'and i loved in shades of wrong' (bc hes toxic and doesnt know how to healthily like people) 'we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts' (bc they continue anyway and stick it out, living with the pain of being bad for each other because of how deeply they care). I almost do. Dazai after leaving. moving on to more religion, holy ground. 'for the first time i had something to lose' 'and i guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the storys got dust on every page' AAAAAA IT'S THEM. Can't really speak on debut- but I've listened to our song and picture to burn and if picture to burn isn't a vengeful chuuya idk what is. BOY OH BOY SPEAK NOW.

excuse me. one moment.

Mine- literally a skk au

Sparks fly- 'the way you move is like a rainstorm and im a house full of cards, you're the kind of reckless that should send me running' that entire verse screams dazai's fascination with corrupted chuuya, and the whole song is well yeah

back to december- dazai when they reunite just trust me on it just trust me on it. the repetition was intentional, that's how serious i am. 'i go back to december all the time' 'I got back to december to make it all right'

speak now- might just be me but it really makes me think of teen skk in fanfic harbouring urges to ruin the others relationship for 'some reason. I don't know, seeing him with her just... irks me'.

the story of us- first verse is chuuya, second verse is dazai, and the third is them both because they're LOSERS and they LOVE EACH OTHER and FUCK I'm CRYING NOW. 'id tell you i miss you but i don't know how' EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BASTARD.

enchanted- self explanatory. for more context, i really think it's from dazai's pov in this case, could probably be both, but dazai fell first and harder so it's really like god he's been in love ever since he got kicked into that wall he wants him around forever. He held Chuuya's hand in the fight with rimbaud and then had all those close moments in the manga and went home to lie on his bed kicking his feet and giggling don't lie. (god im still crying this isn't helping)

better than revenge- they're both pretty vengeful idk it makes me think of iwsynttr for some reason

haunted- chuuya pov. 'i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong' 'stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had' they're so sad, but the general idea of chuuya thinking he has figured out dazai and knowing how he thinks and then dazai just leaves suddenly and he's like 'Wow! I thought i knew you. How do i forget this'. 'wont finish what you started' bringing chuuya into the mafia then leaving it.

last kiss- 'you told me you love me so why did you go away' chuuya pov again oh god it hurts why am i doing this to myself? 'never imagined we'd end like this, your name, forever the name on my lips' yep yep ow.

LONG LIVE.- LISTEN. TO. THE. SONG. AND TELL ME IT'S NOT DAZAI AND CHUUYA. I COULD DO A WHOLE ANALYSIS ON JUST THIS SONG. 'promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye...please tell them my name, tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine, long live the walls we crashed through, i had the time of my life with you' FUCK IT'S DAZAI AN HE'S IN LOVE WITH CHUUYA AND DOESNT KNOW ODAS GONNA DIE YET, JUST THINKS HE DOESNT GET TO KEEP ANYTHING HE WANTS. FUUUUUCK. THEY'RE IN LOVE AND DAZAI WANTS IT REMEMBERED PLEASE I'M SO SAD.

anyway, i can't pretend I'm normal about skk anymore i haven't even covered fearless, reputation, lover or midnights please somebody encourage me to actually write full things dedicated to each album and the most fitting songs from said albums please i'll do it and plus i need to actually gather proof for my autism diagnosis appointment so this would be a good way to to that probably. anyway yeah this'll never make it out my drafts lol

#this is finally out of my drafts after months #dedicated to the anon who asked and the one who said abt the fearless song idk if you're the same person but either way love you lots 🤞#i love taylor swift so much #i love skk more #im sorry for this #but the brainrot is real #this was written at like 3am in January #bsd #silas yaps #soukoku #soukoku fanfiction #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs #taylor swift

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strongestrat · 1 year ago

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HIIIII HI HELLO ENTROPY ZERO PEOPLE IT IS I AND I HAVE COME TO DEFEND AIDEN WALKER/BAD COP AND IF U THINK HES ANNOYING UR WRONG AND SHOULD FEEL BAD /j

Bad cop in entropy zero 1 wasn't exactly the blank slate people expect from half life games/mods, but he didn't have much depth-- all we really knew back then was that he was quippy and very good at his job. He doesn't like people at all and is loyal to the combine to a fault, but we don't know his past, what his motivations are, and we kind of don't need to. EZ1 is about survival in a harsh environment where everything and anything is trying to kill u and u just sort of stop a gigantic rebel plot by accident and u get a shiny (mandatory) promotion out of all of it.

Entropy zero 2's writing is really fucking underappreciated because it takes that basic framework and elaborates on it ingeniously. When he insults people he kills or says "people suck" its not because he's quirky or some kind of generic marvel character it's because people do genuinely fucking SUCK. They used a mentally ill man as a scapegoat for a crime he was a victim of that cost him his family, locked him in a prison/care facility and tried to "change" him. Because he wasn't "normal" to their standards. They stripped him of every single comfort and right he had, every reason he ever had to care about a human being, not just the justice system and prosecutors who failed him and the caretakers who likely neglected or mistreated him but the people who hurt his family and took his daughter and the people who likely discriminated against him simply for existing in a neurotypical society.

This also gives Aiden a degree of separation from loyalty to the combine. He's not just evil for the sake of it he wants to find his daughter Ava and the combine's family cohesion perks are the only chance he has. He's loyal but only because he has an incentive to, and he won't hesitate to kill anyone, and I do mean *anyone*, including his coworkers and a fucking COMBINE ADVISOR if he thinks they can't help him or are trying to stop him from finding Ava. He's good at his job but gets in trouble for killing other cops in a rage induced stupor (not unlike victor-sixty) and of course because these are cops and his boss likes him the chief lets him go with a slap on the wrist and "outland duty" because he is "worth 10 of those guys", and he fucking IS. And Aiden takes it like a champ bc he will do fucking anything to find Ava. His Humor doesn't resonate with everyone and that is understandable (some ppl find him annoying and hes not for everyone), but he's not trying to be funny for funny's sake! He's using it as a coping mechanism for the fact that he has nothing else left and he's being lead along in the hope that he can regain atleast SOMETHING from his old life.

And of course, there is the master template (clone cop) and wilson. I love u wilson and u are definitely the canon ending but i wish i didnt have to babysit u without feeling bad I am getting sidetracked

A clone plot is hard to pull off and in most cases fails spectacularly but in Entropy Zero 2 it just fucking works. Clone cop/master is just the older clone of Aiden but fucking UNHINGED. His loyalty to the combine is gone because he realized they're just using him as an effective tool, and the moment he gets Ava he has no reason to fight for them anymore. So naturally he RIPS OUT A PART OF HIS FUCKING SKULL AND SUSTAINS HIMSELF WITH BOOTLEG CYBERNETICS (I am not joking EZ2 is good at environmental storytelling u can find his fucking skullcap in his little laboratory just before plan B) there are so many little details I noticed on clone cop just before escorting judith on how he butchered himself just to stay independent and have a better chance at finding Ava. His will is fuckign unbreakable which feeds directly into his relationship with the player character Aiden. Clone cop is less of a clone then the Aiden u play as is!!! He even has the prototype AR2! In contrast, the Aiden u play as is clearly modified-- He's much more loyal to the combine but his will isn't unbreakable, and while Wilson doesn't directly factor into whether or not he chooses to fight the Advisor Wilson is CRUCIAL. Clone cop is methodical, using the survival skills from the events of the first game to subvert the rebels, the wildlife, even the combine-- The player character Aiden in turn is (arguably) less badass then Clone cop precisely because they modified him to be more loyal, taking away some of that incredible will and tenacity to try and keep him under wraps. This is proven in the there will be darkness ending where Aiden is mowed down like a standard grunt as soon as his memories/what makes him himself are taken from him.

THE WILSON ENDING IS THE CANON ENDING. THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE.

Wilson is such a fucking important support friend for Aiden because he actually gets the chance to talk with something that isn't a human and is very sympathetic. Aiden goes from being fed up with him and using him as a survival tool to being genuinely concerned for him over the course of the game, Wilson is at first just a way for Bad cop to escape the lab beneath arbiet and maybe pick up supply caches scattered across the other arbiet facilities and sure MAYBE that's the only reason that Aiden brings him along at first but Wilson is very nice and sympathetic and he doesn't judge Aiden and it just. Gives Aiden a chance to rant about his feelings and open up and remember things instead of taking medication and bottling all of his emotions up. Wilson in turn is just thankful to escape the labs beneath arbiet and maybe have a chance at becoming an administrator AI one day if Aiden uploads him into the arbiet AI mainframe!!!! And the coolest part out of all of this is that clone cop only used Wilson as a tool and didn't really care about him but someone like Wilson is exactly what he needed to start healing!!! And the fact that Wilson is able to infiltrate the combine network undetected and free Aiden from the Combine when he's captured out of unconditional love and the fact that "hes da boss" is fucking GREATI am just fucking! Going insane!!! Its so well written!

In entropy zero 3 wilson and aiden will destroy the combine forever and victor sixty will also be there and he and Aiden will get married (real)

#Aiden Walker #entropy zero 2 #entropy zero uprising #entropy zero #Wilson #Clone Cop #ITS SO FUCKING WELL WRITTEN AM I THE ONLY ONE TO NOTICE ALL OF THESE THINGS I HOPE NOT ITS SO COOL ITS SO AWESOME ITS SO #rambling again #I dont care I just want to talk abt my special interest

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imperiuswrecked · 4 months ago

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Time to read Namor (2024) #1

I personally think Namor would rather die than ever admit his weakness to enemies.

Aaron has never been able to write Namor's noble arrogance & pride correctly.

S.M. 39 - Sub-Mariner 1939 (creation year)?

I want to physically slap Namor out of his depression so hard that my hand breaks on his perfect cheekbones.

Someday, a writer will remember Prince Byrrah exists and then the toxic royal cousin rivalry will be back on! He def would have been at the forefront of this misadventure to lead Namor into trouble.

Finally a bit of in character-ness, Namor being annoyed that the humans weak prison and ripping through the bars like it's nothing.

I can't recall, was it that awesome Namor fanfic that first introduced Namor gaining strength through blood (aka the Blood-Mariner) or was it in a comic? I'll come back to this point later to check.

Action/art in this book is great, I do love the artists so much.

He's so sad, a depressed mess.

Stingray??? This man is always around when Namor is beat to hell and tied up by humans, I swear. Except the last time he was put on display and not in a hospital bed, and it was Walter who captured Namor. (Sub-Mariner 1969 #19)

I mean the fish never spoke to you before Namor but that's ok, I know you've been knocked on the head a lot of times in your life. (Kidding aside, The fish in the Marvel universe don't talk, that's Aquaman's thing. Namor has a mild telepathy that let's him persuade/command them)

Which is the better sea pun? World War Sea or Searebro? Vote below

The thing is the Atlanteans have always been treated that way without anything to stop them?? Like the kids who were left to die on the shore in Aaron's Avengers, what repercussions did the international world instigate when that happened? It was only ever Namor who stood up for his people, and tried to implement change in the surface world's governments. Heck he finally got Atlantis/the ocean into the UN back in 2018. It's not like the humans have ever cared about the oceans or Atlanteans, so while I get the urgency Walter should have just said "Attuma said your ass looks fat and you're an ugly skank, and he insulted your mother" bc then Namor would have been rushing to beat him up. lmao.

Sorry it's just really funny to me that Namor in the past would have left everything in an instant the moment Attuma even glanced at Atlantis. The (Defenders comic? need to check) scene where he just fucks off back into the ocean always lives in my heart.

While I see what Aaron is trying to do, I don't trust him enough to carry it out because while he's set up Namor to be sympathetic in the past by the end of his use of Namor in Avengers/Enter the Phoenix, Namor is the one who was blamed for everything without any acknowledgement of the help he gives to humans, etc.

Here.

This is where I really feel that Aaron doesn't get Namor. I understand a lot of people see Namor as this cruel character but he's not. He can be capable of cruelty but he really did not start being so cold until he was an adult. It's not until after WWll, after the deaths' of his mother, Fen, his wives, Dorma & Marrina, and finally his younger cousin Nita, that Namor really changes into today's modern interpretation of the character. You can actually see his character progression into what most people know him as in the 2000s and beyond comics, but younger Prince Namor?

Prince Namor is arrogant, and brash, and prideful, but he was also kind and selfless. He was happy once.

Compare Aaron's flashbacks to Busiek's in Namor: King in Black and there is a world of difference in how they are written. Aaron's has never shown that he has the writing range of being able to write Namor's less mean side. I should say more innocent side? Because he does have one, one that believes that he should be a protector of his people. This kinda behavior is something I expect from Prince Byrrah, who was always selfish and cruel and put a lot of emphasis on him being the Heir to the Throne. This isn't the first time Aaron's written about Namor's younger self, in his Avengers, he also wrote him like this, but killing a shark just for fun.

*sigh* I knew it was coming bc of the preview of coverart but we really are back in the old suit. I do like how the artist added some flair, but I will be honest that I already miss his slutty fish net pants. Of course I wouldn't be complaining if we got Namor back in his speedo.

The worst of it was just how right I was about how Aaron really fails to grasp Namor's character. That's always been my complaint about the writer.

If the setup was in the hands of another writer I would love it bc I love Fantasy Court intrigue & battles.

However I do have to say the artists have been really great and I can't wait to see what they do next!

#namor #namor the sub mariner #imp reads namor #2024 #wednesday spoilers

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pynkhues · 17 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/fishjellylou/766623772774137856/yall-white-mfs-need-to-stop-speaking-on-louis?source=share

As a disclaimer, I swear I'm not trying to start something, but this person is clearly talking about your post. The only reason i bring this to ur attention is bc

1. They seem to be purposely misinterpreting a lot of what u said and

2. It sums up a certain attitude in fandom that's been bothering me.

You always back up your interpretations with textual evidence and seem very open to other people's interpretations as well, so this type of reaction seems very hostile to me for no reason. And I feel like this readiness to call racism over any differing opinion on Louis only manages to reduce his character and discourage people from exploring his complexities or engaging with the character at all.

At least for me, it makes me scared of sharing any opinion, because people in fandom don't seem to be open to debate and conversation, they just claim one interpretation as the only valid read of the show and anyone who disagrees is suddenly racist.

I guess i just wanted to get your take on it and ask for advice on how to deal with this type of backlash when it comes to engaging in character analysis. Your insight is always appreciated <3

Oh! Yeah, I mean - - they certainly seem to be referring to me without @'ing me!

And mmm, yeah, I'd say it reads to me as a bad faith interpretation of my posts, especially as I certainly wouldn't describe how I wrote about Louis today as a 'diabolical jezebel' - in fact, I think it's lowkey the opposite given I think he's a character who has a healthy sexual appetite which sometimes manifests in the wrong direction as a result of trauma and circumstance, as opposed to the puritanical virgin some would depict him as - and literally, explicitly said that I don't think Louis' a liar, but rather has the normal response of trying to paint himself in a better light in his memories, but y'know, they're allowed their interpretation of my posts, just as they're allowed their own readings of the show.

As someone who's been around the fandom traps for more than a decade, I can't say this isn't something I'm used to, and I kinda think it's important to be okay with it? I make these posts publicly (even if I do try to avoid using main tags lowkey for adjacent reasons to this one), so people can respond to me publicly. That's okay! I've kinda been doing the same with the l*slou fest, so I'd be a huge hypocrite to have an issue with what they do when I'm doing it a little myself, haha.

But to me posts like this also just try to weaponise the idea that being called racist is worse than being racist, and as a result is a way to shut people up, like you said. I'm open with the fact that I'm white and Australian - arguably the worst type of White, haha - and I know that I have race biases that I'm working constantly to unpack, and I work in DEI at my theatre company, so trust me when I say I've done a lot of 'official' training too, which feels stupid to talk about here in this context, but is a reality of Things I've Done.

I engage and read and listen a lot, which is all to say, I suppose, that I do try to be very conscious and present in how I exist in these conversations, and it's a funny thing to come back to fandom spaces where people do want white people to take on a cultural load, want them to engage particularly with characters of colour, want them to create fanworks involving POC - all things fandom is notoriously bad at! - and then ultimately - - y'know. Weaponise race in an attempt to shut down conversations they don't like (and I include a lot of white people in that too). It too often feels like race becomes a moving part to keep characters under certain fan interpretation ownership, which feels symptomatic of broader fandom entitlement.

I don't know. I hear you, basically, and I get your nervousness about engaging, but at the end of the day, conversations won't happen if they don't happen. Sharing your thoughts and knowing - and being able to articulate - your intent while keeping an open mind to criticism and an eagerness to learn is always a positive, at least to me. Some people are going to engage in bad faith - that's kind of inevitable these days, I think - but there are going to be a lot of people who engage in good faith too, and I don't know. A lot of people tell me I have a bit of a crap nose for it, haha, and tend to engage more of the bad faith than I should, but I always try to take things optimistically and in good faith. I like to trust that people mean the best, and when they don't - - well, that's for private chats, haha.

#what a time to realise you're being hate read!#from the tone of that post i'm guessing they've anoned me a few times #which like #correct me if i'm wrong but i DO try to keep most of my replies out of the main tags?#am i bad at that too?#probably haha

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t00nyah · 2 months ago

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SO! A THING ABOUT THE ART CHALLENGE I TALKED ABOUT IN MY LAST POST...

we ended up trading characters. LMAO. it was so funny how we just were like WAIT CAN I GET THIS ONE PLEASE PLEASE

SO. ABOUT MY COOL AND AWESOME IDEAS.

if you're an old t00nyan...you know splatoon changed me as a person.

but there's one particular thing i really like making characters based off...

SEA SLUGS. (please stay till the end the final artwork is the best thing i ever drew and is like the equivalent of me learning splatoon style AND there's umm something cool you need to know.)

so. literally everyone knows i love sea bunnies for looking so so so cute and silly. i always say white lizards are like sea bunnies to me. and as you all know i love gathering a lot of facts and applying them to the character.

first, i've decided to make it somewhat atypical to what people are more used to see...as far as i know yellow sea bunnies are more common than white ones. and it works! the character looks way better than when it was white haha. speaking of appearance, of course they're small, sea bunnies are teeny tiny!!!!!!!!!

from what i've read for this challenge, apparently sea bunnies use jellyfish stingers for self-defense, huge if true bc that's why this fella holds a jellyfish. they highly depend on stunning predators to outrun them in my vision. also, um. wiki mentions that the sponges sea bunnies feed on contain toxins that can be used in cancer treatment, so you know what that means. in MY concept it's like... them being a rotting iterator's last hope or smth, which would be funny because being toxic also equals to being a little shit personality-wise. imagine your last hope is a creature that won't stop throwing jellyfish at you.

next one is a cabbage slug! it's a very pretty one!! i actually have a splatoon oc Elysia based on them haha.

this particular photo was my reference for the blueish palette but they can be veeery colorful and veeery pretty...

i don't have anything in my head for this one, i just felt like i HAD to make an elysia crispata slugcat. they're just nice, herbivore, love sunbathing and just enjoy being here!

so. last one is like my MAGNUM OPUS. at first i didn't even consider it. i wanted to make an octopus based one for branding reasons but then i saw this shitter.

im sorry im not actually mean to them but. this guy is a blue dragon. i randomly saw them and went 'oh yeah they exist, wonder what they'd be like. could be a cool design.'

THE RESULT...

IS THIS GUY.

so. blue dragons, apparently, prey on bigger predators and then store their most dangerous venom to use it on their next prey. but it also ends up even more deadly that the predators'.

so i went okay. if that's not a cool concept, i don't know what is. and then...things went kind of too far.

introducing to you: The Weaponeer.

food requirement: 8(10) [quite obviously eats corpses with 1/4 pip from blue fruit and stuff]

they're fast, (NOT as fast as rivulet, but faster than hunter, probably like 1.45x) have bigger lung capacity (~4.25x, a lot, but not as much as rivulet has) and have a 'special ability' of sorts

the Weaponeer is a master in self-defence and knows well how to utilize its' predators' weapons as their own. they can deshell overgrown(!) centipedes, demask vultures and steal king vultures' harpoons (without needing a spear, practically like a maul but it only works for this and only due to the Weaponeer just knowing how to do that more practically)

their base damage is 1.0, BUT using harpoon spears multiplies it to 1.5 (although i think it lowers throwing skill considering it's heavy and giant, they can't exactly throw it, it's more of a melee weapon. it probably slows them down too?)

i have a little campaign idea too! so, wiki mentions them being washed up on the shore sometimes...and that felt like an idea.

the Weaponeer is a capable and very confident slugcat, but they are lost far from home in Deserted Faraway - a result of some poor planning of the Ancients. once a river, now a cavern full of adapted to new circumstances living beings. the region has two subregions, one of them being a cave system and the other being the remains of the iterator that was doomed right from the start. when the Weaponeer arrives to Deserted Faraway, it's already its own blooming ecosystem.

im really proud of how this menu art turned out! i hope i will get to draw more artworks like that someday...when im not that busy, haha. it did take me an entire DAY to finish this one.

i intended to sell them initially just bc they ended up pretty cool so...THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. i sadly can't really...actually...sell them for money...which is very fucking dissatisfying.

BUT. but. if you know me you know i'm desperate for OC fanart, so if you really want them trading for art is an option!!! my dms are open :]

but yeah, thanks for looking at this, it took me a while and im actually proud of this project!!

#rain world

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raytorosaurus · 2 years ago

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Wait what dumbassery got tweeted? I wanna see it so I can laugh

lol okay under a read more bc i was like "i don't have the energy rn to spark a whole discussion about this" but then it got kinda long anyway so. the tweet itself is your average annoying twitter bullshit but it speaks to a wider pattern that really fucking pisses me off and worries me so that's what this is about

someone tweeted this, which had like 900 likes and multiple people in the replies and qrts going "omg did she really do this/when did she do this" and op would be like "it's a joke," to which the reply would always be "oh well it does sound like something she'd do."

it's a) not funny in the first place lol and b) a very common type of joke to make, hinging on this widely-accepted idea that frank and lynz hate each other and are petty about it, and that lynz abuses gerard & is extremely controlling. both of these things are literally completely fabricated but people just believe them, and it really goes to show how all these people who hate lynz sooo much don't hate her for the reasons they claim to. these people could not any more transparently give less of a shit about jimmy urine's abuse victim when it really feels like they gleefully use her as an "excuse" to make frerard "jokes" where lynz is a villain. it's disgusting and so so insensitive. domestic abuse is also such a fucking disgusting thing to accuse people of with literally zero evidence besides the kind of thing that was touted on blogs like ode2's, including things like "lynz saying she deadheads the flowers is her sending messages that she emotionally or physically enjoys beating gerard into submission" and "the way gerard's behaving on instagram (i.e. not using it very often) just feels fishy to me...something must be wrong" and "frank and lynz are sharing coded messages about hating each other via opossum memes on their instagram stories or in their instagram likes".

my point is: if you really hated lynz THAT much for reasons such as her association to msi and the tweets where she claimed to have indian descent and was weird to people who called her on it, then you should not need to invent additional reasons to hate her. you would also have to admit that those two things are not exclusive to lynz since everyone in mcr also has extensive voluntary associations with msi, most of all gerard and frank, who have also done/said racist things in the past, and you would have to come up with reasons why you are willing to forgive them but not lynz. i also don't like lynz and find a lot of her actions distasteful but it's literally impossible to get a reasonable explanation from any of the mcr fans who hate her SO much for the depth of this hatred without them including complete fabrications or deeply bad-faith suppositions (or actively misogynistic comments) in those explanations. it's extremely transparent and only goes to show how little these people care about the actual genuine issues related to jimmy/msi and weird racist comments/claims.

also as a side point i don't understand why people also love to act like frank is a perfect innocent in any situation to the point where they'll literally make up reasons to like him or claim that he's on "their side" (e.g. the idea that he hates msi when he was a vocal fan). i love frank so much but fandom as a whole seems to have such a weirdly distorted view of him, despite him being the one in the band who's most open about his thoughts and feelings/life in general. or maybe for that reason? he certainly seems to be the one people project onto the most with a lack of self-awareness about what they're doing, idk. it's weird though frank is such a lovable and admirable guy but sometimes i see the way some of his intense fans talk about him and i honestly feel like they're talking about a different person? of course none of us really know him at all but idk i really feel like the version of him that exists in the most prevalent fan-driven frerard narrative is so bizarrely separate from reality skfjfkssk. idk anyway that's kind of off-point, the most important thing here is that if you make things up about frank or attribute your own opinions to him when he hasn't actually said anything like that (e.g. hating msi or hating lynz) you're gonna get further and further down that rabbithole and end up setting yourself up for disappointment when frank inevitably doesn't behave/think the way you want him to irl lol.

so anyway i qrted that tweet, and op deleted their account between my second and third tweet here lol.

#the stats on my qrt are sooo funny #>500 views 100 clicks/impressions 22 profile visits. 5 likes skdkfkekksmfj #no pqrts though :/ sorry if i said something that's hard to argue with :/#answered

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aangarchy · 2 years ago

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I feel like i need to reiterate what my opinion on the southern raiders as an episode is bc my previous posts about it are like 3 years old at this point, so here goes. I want to preface this by saying all of this is in fact my opinion and not me trying to state facts. I'm not going to argue who's right or wrong. I'm not going to debate it either. If your opinion is different: great! You're a human being that can also think for themselves!

In my opinion, the southern raiders is not a good episode. The only reason it exists, is because Katara needed to stop hating Zuko and start trusting him, and thus Zuko would be officially and fully part of the gaang. There's a reason they didn't give Toph a life changing field trip episode. It wasn't necessary in the narrative because Toph already pretty much trusted Zuko. Sokka and Aang had their respective Zuko trips, and Suki rode along in Sokka's episode. Katara was the only one left and for some reason this is what they came up with, and they crammed it in right before a filler episode so they could start of the finale.

I particularly dislike Zuko's behavior in this episode. I'm not saying it's out of character. I just feel like at this point in the story he should know better. First he doesn't understand why Katara is still angry at him. Then he gets to the conclusion that Katara has connected her anger towards her mother's murderer to him, which isn't false, but Katara is still justified in her anger because Zuko has also been very shitty towards her. Then once he has the information he needs from Sokka (who didn't ask to get involved and just wanted to have a fun night with his girlfriend and now had to recall one of his most traumatic memories) he just drops it onto Katara, first cornering her by waiting outside her tent to make sure he's the first thing she sees. He also tells her he "knows who did it." Only he doesn't actually know does he? He just knows it's the leader of the southern raiders, but he doesn't know where to find him yet, but he does know where they can find out so it's okay. They only need to ninja sneak into a highly guarded tower and get a the map. No biggie. Then they march over to Aang and tell him they "need to borrow Appa". They don't even ask him nicely, they just say "we need him". Aang is rightfully sceptical.

Now i know Appa is their only mode of transportation in this episode bc the airship is with Hakoda. But can i remind everyone that Appa is more than just a vehicle? He's a living breathing animal and also Aang's pet. And Aang has already lost him once. They're planning on taking Appa straight into the danger zone without Aang or any armor. And they don't even ask permission! They were planning to sneak out with him at night without Aang's knowledge too! What if Appa got hurt? What if they get captured along with Appa?

Then when Aang points out how this plan sounds insane (bc it fucking is), Katara immediately tells Aang he doesn't understand. What's weird about this is Aang is actually one of the few people there that DOES. Aang is a victim of genocide just like Katara. Within a few days he went from wandering the airtemples with the other kids and playing pai cho with Gyatso to learning his entire civilization and culture has been dead for a century. He was faced with his mentor and father figure's skeleton, and with the knowledge that whomever did it has been dead for a long time. He points this out to Katara, and Zuko dismisses him saying this is what Katara needs.

It's funny how Zuko's entire motivation for this plan in the first place is for Katara to stop hating him. It's entirely selfish, and he's essentially using Katara's grief for his benefit. But all of a sudden when they get stopped by Aang and asked to explain themselves Zuko believes this is what Katara needs. Now i am willing to believe that Zuko genuinely thinks this will help Katara at this point, as it seems like he's living a bit through her. After all he too lost his mother (although he recently discovered she is alive) and boy wouldn't he like to hurt Ozai for being responsible for his mother's disappearance. But this doesn't take away that this plan started with selfish motivations.

Aang rightfully points out that this isn't about closure but about revenge, and tries to explain to both of them the airnomad philosophy around revenge. Zuko, still wanting to go ahead with his plan bc he wants Katara to stop hating him, dismisses this and calls it "airtemple preschool". I'll rephrase that: a direct descendant of the nation that eradicated the entire airnomad population dismisses and insults the teachings of said eradicated culture. And it's played of as a joke? Because it's a funny phrase i suppose? Hardy har the oppressor is making fun of the beliefs and culture of the oppressed! And as if this isn't enough, he decides to drive this home even further by calling Aang a "guru goodie goodie" when Aang asked Katara not to choose revenge. Again we're supposed to find this funny, and sure as a kid the line on its own is funny. But growing up and realizing the context around it, it very quickly becomes not funny and actually kind of infuriating, because again the reason Zuko is trying so hard to dismiss Aang is that he wants this plan to succeed so Katara will stop throwing insults his way. Katara is also very mean towards Sokka this episode, claiming he didn't love their mother the way she did. Poor Sokka really got put trough the ringer this episode.

I also again want to point out how dangerous this plan is. The first field trip with Aang was different. They were visiting ruins for the benefit of Aang learning firebending (a skill he needs to face Ozai), so this trip was very necessary. Sokka's trip was "selfish" for other reasons than Katara. He felt like he failed his dad by letting him get captured, and so he wants to prove himself by getting him out. At least we can applaud Sokka and Zuko for not endangering Appa into enemy territory this time around, and for going into the trip with good intentions (aka saving Dad and later up saving Suki). But the consequences of Sokka's trip show up almost immediately because Azula was able to track them down and bomb the place. The southern raiders trip could have very well had the same exact consequences. They could get captured, they could die, they could get tracked and lead the fire nation to the location of the Avatar (who they now know is alive and is once again their biggest threat), Appa could get hurt. All of this to murder a man and they don't end up doing it. (Just to be clear i'm not mad that Katara didn't kill Yon Rah, i'm actually really happy with that choice and how it foreshadows Aang choosing not to kill Ozai. I'm mad at the fact that they did this dangerous plan with bad intentions and didn't even complete it.)

Now by the end, i'm not saying Aang was completely in the right this episode. He told Katara to forgive this man when he knows damn well she would never. I'm not saying she couldn't. She just wouldn't. But he was right in saying that Katara needed to face this man and come to a non-violent closure. He was also correct in the assumption that Katara needed to forgive. He only wanted Katara to aim this forgiveness at the wrong person. Katara did forgive at the end. She forgave Zuko (who still didn't really deserve it in my opinion because we never even see him apologize to Katara personally for what he did to her?) Zuko even admits at the end that Aang was right in saying violence wasn't the answer. Aang's methods were just a bit off this episode, because there was no way Katara was going to listen to him.

To round this off: this episode could have been done differently. The only thing that really needed to happen for the plot, was for Katara to forgive Zuko and for Zuko to ask Aang how he was going to apply his pacifist upbringing into defeating the firelord. Everything else wasn't narratively necessary, and brought up some very questionable scenes. You could argue that we needed to find out what happened to Katara's mother, but honestly we kind of already knew. She died at the hands of the fire nation. We didn't really need to have it laid out, so it wasn't necessary for the story.

Anyway, that's it. Like i said above, i don't really want to debate this. If you disagree with it you can make your own post about it, i'd rather not get into arguments in the reblogs or comments.

#i just really dislike the way katara's grief is being abused for people's own intentions #the southern raiders #avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar #katara #aang #avatar aang #zuko #prince zuko #sokka #long post

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