#i don't feel like anyone cares about me anyway so it's not like anyone would be bothered by it ig.

[yuujispinkhair]

Boxer!Sukuna Part 2 - Becoming a Dad

I got this lovely ask about how Boxer!Sukuna would react if Reader got pregnant, and I wanted to write a little something for it. Thank you so much for sending me that.

You can read Part 1 of my Boxer!Sukuna headcanons here

Pairing: Boxer!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: 18+, fluff + mentions of smut. Pregnancy, mentions of boxing injuries, modern AU. Sukuna + Reader are engaged. You can read Part 1 for more general headcanons about Boxer!Sukuna, and his and Reader's relationship. But you don't need Part 1 to understand Part 2. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear

++ Boxer!Sukuna feels as if one of his opponents punched him in the guts when you place the positive pregnancy test in his lap and look at him with big, worried eyes. He catches himself quickly, though, when he sees how anxious you are, and pulls you on his lap, and wraps you in his strong arms. One large hand cups your head and cradles it against Sukuna's broad chest. "Hey, princess. It's ok. You hear me, sweetheart? Everything is fine."

++ Boxer!Sukuna sure as hell won't let you be scared. He is man enough to comfort you when you need it, even though he is probably just as nervous as you are. If you listen closely, you can hear how fast his heart is beating, but Sukuna makes sure to distract you from that by pressing his lips against your temple and murmuring reassurance to you, followed by little kisses.

++ Boxer!Sukuna never thought he would have kids. But he also never thought he would find love. But you changed him. You taught him love. So he thinks that you can also teach him how to be a dad. And the thought of having a baby with you fills him with such warmth and pride that he just knows he wants this and will make it work.

++ Boxer!Sukuna's low voice is as sure and confident as ever when he tells you, "Take your time to decide what you want. I will be with you on every path you choose. I love you. I'm your man, always. I couldn't imagine having a screaming little brat with anyone else. But with you? Yeah, absolutely. And if you make me a daddy, then I will make damn sure to be a good one. I want to have that baby with you."

++ Boxer!Sukuna can't help but smile when you press your face into his defined pecs and tell him that you are scared but that you want to have a baby with him, too.

++ Boxer!Sukuna is already your fiancé anyway, but if he hadn't already asked you to marry him, he would have done so right now after finding out you carry his baby under your heart.

++ Boxer!Sukuna places a large hand on your belly, his long fingers sprawling gently over it. It's astounding that a strong, rough man like him can touch someone this tenderly. It surprises him, too, and he laughs softly, already knowing he will be such a menace during your pregnancy. Super protective and always taking the best care of his soon-to-be wife and mommy of his little brat.

++ Boxer!Sukuna catches himself being more careful in the ring as your pregnancy progresses. He used to let his opponents land a few hard punches to rile him up and give the crowd a good show. But now he doesn't want to risk an injury. He is going to be a dad soon. He will have such a big responsibility. He cannot afford to get injured and land himself in the hospital for several weeks, or worse, have a lifelong injury that keeps him from being the husband and father he wants to be.

++ Boxer!Sukuna changes his tactic, dropping the playful show and instead ending his fights earlier with merciless, hard punches, which are aimed precisely. The fans are still cheering like crazy and happy about the show he gives them when Sukuna wins every fight with a knockout.

++ Boxer!Sukuna feels even more motivated now that you are having his baby. He wants to win the championship and that new advertising deal with that big clothing line. The one he has turned down for years because he thought it was stupid. But now he will say yes because he wants to get more money so he can assure his beautiful wife and baby will always have a good life and never have to worry about money at all.

++ Boxer!Sukuna is a busy man with all the long hours he has to invest in training and in the preparation for his fights. But he always tells his personal assistant, Uraume, to make time in his busy schedule for your doctor appointments during the pregnancy. He wants to be by your side. Wants to drive you there and make sure you get there safely. He wants to hold your hand while the two of you look at the ultrasound of your tiny baby, letting you know that Sukuna will keep his word.

++ Boxer!Sukuna has always been a very caring boyfriend/fiancé, and now he is an even more caring husband and soon-to-be daddy. Seeing you with your big baby bump makes him want to wrap you in his strong arms at all times, ensuring you are safe and taken care of.

++ Boxer!Sukuna loves bonding with you and your baby that’s growing inside you. You laugh and tease him for being so clingy, but he knows you love it. Sukuna loves showering with you, standing behind you, so much taller than you, letting you lean against his strong body while he wraps his arms around you, holding you safely in his embrace, making sure you won't slip. His large hands sprawl over your swollen belly while his lips trail kisses from your neck to your shoulders, and he grins anytime he feels his little baby kick strongly against mommy's belly and daddy's hand.

++ Boxer!Sukuna is extremely protective of you and his little daughter once she is born. No pictures are allowed. The paparazzi don't even dare come to your street. They try it once when you get out of the hospital with your newborn baby, but Sukuna scares them off by punching one of them. He has a mad grin on his tattooed face, sneering at that guy and telling him, "If you or any of your colleagues come near my wife or child, I will do the same thing again, but this time I'll make sure to knock out some of your teeth."

++ Boxer!Sukuna has won so many fights, so many titles and yet nothing touched him like holding his little girl in his strong, tattooed arms, gently swaying her from side to side at 3 am, after Sukuna rolled over in bed and kissed your naked shoulder, telling you to get some more sleep, "I will take care of the little princess." And now he is gazing down at this tiny little baby. His and your baby. And somehow, his vision is so blurry, and his eyes feel so weirdly moist.

++ Boxer!Sukuna smiles, a real smile, as he blinks the tears that almost welled up away and tells his little daughter, "You are the most perfect baby ever, little one. Not like all those ugly brats I see everywhere." He laughs to himself, low and raspy, just when you come out of the bedroom, rolling your eyes as you walk up to him with a matching laugh falling from your lips. You get on your tiptoes to kiss the tattoos on Sukuna's cheek and tell him he is the worst, with a voice full of love, and Sukuna thinks he is the luckiest guy ever.

++ Boxer!Sukuna wraps one strong arm around you and pulls you against his tall, muscular body, hugging you gently while he carries your little baby in his other arm. Holding both of his girls, grinning because he knows this here is the best thing he ever had. Better than any title he has ever won and will ever win.

++ Boxer!Sukuna still needs you to kiss his boxing gloves before each fight. But now he also added a new ritual. Brushing over the soft hair of his little daughter with his boxing gloves before he leans down to press a kiss on her little forehead and tell her, "Daddy will win this fight. For you and mommy."

++ Boxer!Sukuna is mature enough to know that a boxing arena isn't the right place for a baby, so he would never ask you to sit in your usual spot but rather have you backstage, cuddling your daughter while you watch his fight on the screen without all the loud noises and the riled up atmosphere. But on the evenings, when you have a babysitter and you can sit in front of the boxing ring, Sukuna fights extra well, spurred on by the knowledge that you are there. Just like he fucks you extra good in his private locker room afterward, taking you hard and rough against the wall, loving that he and you can be as loud as you want here, making sure you squeal his name over and over again like a prayer.

++ Boxer!Sukuna still takes you on dinner dates on those nights when you have someone who looks after your daughter. Because he wants the two of you to always stay lovers, too, and not just mommy and daddy. He makes sure to savor those dates thoroughly, flirting with you, leaning across the table to kiss you and whisper dirty things in your ear, or complimenting you on how beautiful you look. He makes sure to not just fuck you all riled up after a fight but also make sweet slow love to you, telling you to look deeply into his maroon eyes as he rolls his hips against yours and lets you feel every inch of his long and thick cock.

++ Boxer!Sukuna is very passionate about his boxing career, but his little family always comes first. When you are sick, he cancels a big fight just so he can stay home and look after you and your daughter, and somehow, it makes him become even more popular because suddenly, the big, bad boxing champion seems a lot more human to everyone.

++ Boxer!Sukuna is adamant about teaching his little girl how to fight, just like her daddy. She gets her first boxing gloves on her third birthday. Pink ones with Hello Kitty on them, and Sukuna proudly shows her how to punch the little punching bag he bought for her and installed in the living room.

++ Boxer!Sukuna never wants his daughter to actually follow in his footsteps and become a boxer because he knows he won't be able to stand in front of the ring and watch his little princess get hit. But he is so proud of her when she punches her little punching bag.

++ Boxer!Sukuna tells his little girl to fight him, grinning his boyish grin as he circles around the living room doing a "boxing match" against his little one. He lets her land several punches on his abs, and Sukuna groans dramatically and sinks to his knees before he lets himself fall onto his side and lie there, holding back his laughter while you count to ten and declare your giggling daughter the winner.

++ Boxer!Sukuna is such a successful and feared boxer, always living up to his stage name, The King of Curses. So strong and intelligent, seemingly unbeatable. But the two of you are his big weakness. You brought Sukuna to his knees, and he loves every second of it.

Boxer!Sukuna never thought he would be a dad, but now that he is one, he can't even imagine how life was before the three of you became a family. His little family will always be his safe haven. His retreat after all the exhausting time in the boxing ring and in front of all those flashing cameras. This here is truly all he needs. His two girls. The two loves of his life. No matter how many titles Sukuna wins, the titles he will always be the most proud of are husband and daddy.

IT WAS SO NICE AND COMFORTING TO WRITE THIS 💗💗 He makes me so lovesick!! What a man!!

I hope this little story could give you comfort, too. Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[crazy-pages]

Also it's so so easy to want to help people and fail. How many people here had parents who rode their ass hard about grades in a way that didn't actually help and maybe even hurt, because they "wanted the best for you"? How many people here had parents who didn't talk about sex ed or consent with them because they thought not talking about sex was what was best? Seriously, how many people reading this post have had somebody in your life with a position of power over you behave in a way they think is helpful, but is actually hurtful?

Now think about people who believe you shouldn't give money to the homeless because they'll use it on drugs, that if you just give people housing they won't want to work and they'll never "learn independence", that sure it's horrifying what's happening in Gaza but it's the only way to prevent even more terrible deaths that Hamas would cause.

My mother is one of the most empathetic people I know. She's a psychologist and she did pro bono work with AIDS patients back before anyone knew for sure how it spread. She always keeps open pro bono slots to work with victims of domestic abuse. She works with multiple charity organizations and volunteers her time. When there was a mass shooting at her local grocery store, she literally drove down to the aftermath and offered her services for counseling, and kept seeing some of the survivors for free afterward. She is as caring a person as you'll find. Literally the most caring person I know.

I, meanwhile, do not have an empathetic bone in my body. Literally, I don't feel empathy. I thought feeling reflections of other people's emotions or having a strong emotional surge when you saw somebody get hurt was a literary device authors used for emphasis, but not a real thing, until I was probably ... 12 or 13? Hell the single most intense emotion I ever have felt towards others is an intense compulsion towards murder (though I've never acted on it). I'm almost certainly some flavor of sociopath.

And yet my mother believed it was very important to never give homeless people money, to only give them granola bars and water, because they might use it on drugs. It was me who, when I was 11 (remember this is before I realized empathy wasn't literally fake) looked that up and found articles about how dehumanizing that feels and studies about how money is actually much more helpful.

Despite being an amazing psychologist with a specialty in eating disorders, who had an eating disorder herself and got into the field specifically to help people like her And who regularly does continuing education to this day ... she didn't know what "atypical anorexia" was. Which is anorexia where the patient never actually drops below a certain body mass index, their body just refuses to lose the weight, but their organs start failing anyway. Despite the name this is actually the most common type of anorexia and it simply hadn't been recognized for a long time because of fatphobia in the medical field. I was the one who had to find out this was a thing and tell her and then hammer her with enough research papers to get its reality through her head, because it didn't match her personal experiences. And not knowing that as long as she did almost certainly caused quite a lot of harm to some of her patients.

My mother's teachings, my friends, and frankly a good bit of luck with the philosophical influences in my life, were enough to make me into somebody who I hope is compassionate, kind, and helpful to other people. Despite, you know, the whole utter lack of empathy and simmering background desire to cut throats thing. But none of my mother's empathy prevented her from really fucking up sometimes when it came to how to do good for people, and none of my lack prevented me from doing the damn work.

There is simply no degree of empathy or inborn kindness which will prevent you from fucking up. You need to question how you do good and work on how to do it effectively as a skill which can be trained and a practice which can be corrected. And then, maybe even more importantly, you need a network of people who you allow, who you invite, to call you on this stuff. Who are different enough from you that they will have stuff to call you on, and you in turn.

There is, unfortunately, no such thing as being a good person by nature. You cannot simply follow the kindness within you and do good. You actually have to think about it and it's hard and requires a lot of practice. But most things in life worth doing are like that.

you know how there used to be all those posts going around like “I don’t know any political theory, it’s not hard to have good politics, it’s called being a decent person” type stuff, where it’s like okay, well, if it works it works. but this year more than ever has convinced me that actually it’s really important to have political values to fall back on even in cases of high emotion, e.g. anti-imperialism or bodily autonomy. feelings like kindness, empathy, concern, just on their own, are politically neutral and can just as easily motivate conservative or even fascist political positions. you know. like what happens to empathy-based politics when it’s people whose lives are very different from yours, or where there’s a culturally-ingrained bias against seeing them as people, or if they are just interpersonally offputting and unlikeable. like how etiquette is for being polite when you’re not “feeling it”, you need something to fall back on, a metric to evaluate what a “just society” looks like for people you don’t personally know and/or like. am I making sense here

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM WICKED *  assorted dialogue from the screenplay, adjust as necessary

it's good to see me, isn't it?

no need to respond. that was rhetorical.

because there has been so much rumor and speculation... innuendo, outuendo... let me set the record straight.

why does wickedness happen?

that's a good question.

like every family, they had their secrets.

one thing led to another, as it so often does.

i'm right here. i always will be.

you want to see something wonderful?

what have you done this time?

now you've made your sister cry.

you see... it couldn't have been easy.

as you can imagine, i have much to attend to.

is it true you were her friend?

you must understand, it was... a long time ago.

remember, it's not goodbye, it's farewell.

they're going to miss me so much.

you know what i believe? strangers are just people i've never met.

what? what are you staring at? do i have something in my teeth?

let's get this over with.

i for one am sorry that you're forced to live with this.

it's my intention to major in sorcery.

perhaps i could help.

offering to help someone you don't know with a skill you don't have. i'm sure everyone's duly impressed.

i could care less what other people think.

i doubt that's true.

i'll miss you.

if anything should happen to her...

you can of course come visit me whenever you want!

how tragically beautiful you are.

i just need to find my room.

this was my chance. my new start.

magic is merely the mind's attempt to wrap itself around the impossible.

i shall tutor you privately.

thank you for covering for me.

how long have you had this talent?

if you can learn to use your powers in the right way...

do you really think this is fair?

i'm just shutting the door.

i saved you some space, by the way.

how did you do it? tell me.

i can keep a secret.

some of us are different.

we cannot escape the past.

the past helps explain our present circumstances.

who is responsible for this?

it's all right. i have no friends.

once you learn to harness your emotions, the sky's the limit.

this is much bigger than just some words on a chalkboard.

is this how you go through life, running amok, nearly trampling anyone in your path?

i guess there's a first time for everything.

were you looking for something? or someone?

i met the rudest person last night.

what do you do for fun around here?

i would do anything for you.

it was nothing. i love helping others.

i'm about to have the happiest night of my life!

i don't follow.

what's in the punch?

i don't feel sorry for you! you're great!

my personal opinion is that you do not have what it takes.

i hope you prove me wrong. i doubt you will.

i can't watch.

it's not like it's your fault.

may i cut in?

that was your very first party?

you tell me a secret.

you really don't have to do that.

i can't wear things like that anyway.

pink goes good with green.

i'm afraid it's out of our hands.

you're not being told the whole story.

somebody's got to do something!

you think i'm really stupid, don't you.

you don't need to be scared of me.

you think i want to be this way?

so i should just keep my mouth shut? is that what you're saying?

you're bleeding.

this is your chance to make good.

i've heard so much about you.

i am changing my name.

don't you cry. you're going to have the wonderfullest time.

something bad is happening to them. they need you.

what did i tell you?

you've known all along... from the moment you met me.

you must trust me.

that's why i need you.

i meant every word about you having a home here.

[unlovablelover]

is it okay to ask for a gn reader w a specific body type? i'm sorry if it's against your rules, i may have forgotten.. i got that fog in me.

i wanna request a reader, who is very skinny.. like.. where are your organs babe. their organs are there, they're just built like that for some reason. just some general headcans of Mr. Crawling's, Mr. Silvair's and Mr. Gap's reactions to finding that out.

(do you think Mr. Gap could appear in-between their thigh gap when they're sitting down?)

i hope you're doing well! also, happy early christmas :3

ans: hello, thanks for asking. u're good to go, don't worry. the only rule i have is i won't be writing nsfw no matter what, not even a little bit. im js not interested - sorry in advance for anyone who wants those kinda stuff :{

this was fun. i made the reader have something like an almost skeletal form...is that fine? anyway let's get started, shall we?

SKINNY READER

Homicipher men: Crawling, Silvair, Gap

Part1(?)

(i was reminded of Skinny by rebzyyx when i saw this request, haha)

Mr. Crawling

-when you first appeared in the building, he was very surprised to see you

-you looked so small, frail and possibly weak (not)

-his first thought is definitely him thinking you're weak but not in the degrading way, just his assumption

-because of that, he's determined to help you, he thinks you're in need of protection and possibly some food

-cmon, he'll definitely try to feed you things, i think he'll think you've been starved

-might take him a while to fully accept that you're js built like that

-i think what'll make him accept is if he saw you fighting off a monster w ease, he is shocked, but not surprised, at least he doesn't have to worry about you getting hurt by others since you've shown him you're perfectly capable of protecting yourself

-when it's time to relax in bed after a long day of walking around, he'll definitely take his time to observe your body more closely (not in a perverted way, he's a gentleman!)

-might trace his fingers on parts of your body, maybe your arms, your hands

-might compare the difference with his

-i think he'll feel "ehehehe'" about it for some reason

-definitely appreciates the way your slender fingers run through his loooooong hair

-will be careful if he gets on the bed with you tho

-he's afraid he's gonna crush you if he makes one wrong move

-avoids being on your arms because he thinks he'll snap them in half

-yes, he still has doubts about how strong you (or i think your bones) are

Mr. Silvair

-not a hint of surprise at the first sight of you

-just a mild sense of curiosity

-i don't think he'll really care about your wellbeing unless you're injured with an open wound, i think he only cares for those who r close/spent some time w him

-definitely wants to know how you're so skinny

-his theories are up and going

-maybe you're starved? maybe you have an illness? can it be cured? can he cure it?

-cue his creepy smile at the thought of experimenting

-not hesitant to ask you directly about it

-will be disappointed to know you're just built like that and there's nothing to solve or cure

-i think he'll take your measurements and stuff to see just how small/skinny you are compared to the average human

-in the name of science, he'll try to find a way to see your body under your shirt (again, not sexually - i don't think they need/crave sex...sorry?)

-wants to see the way your ribs are visible as they bulge against your skin, or the deep dip of your stomach

-revels at the sight, so intriguing....

-how easy it would be to chop you up, right?

-might secretly wait for you to get injured so he can have an excuse to chop a part of your body off

-js so he can see how much faster it takes u to heal

Mr. Gap

-i don't think he reacts/cares much about your appearance

-all he sees is someone to demand things from

-although i think he'd be surprised by how easy it is to take your (reluctantly offered) arm/leg/finger

-just like snapping a stick

-might ask a couple of questions after y'all get to know each other for a bit, but his curiosity isn't as much as mr silvair's

-i think he just doesn't care, not in a bad way tho

-js think of it as him seeing past appearances and only caring for what's inside (which is your heart)

-can he appear in the thigh gap?

-it's in his name, if there's a gap then there's mr gap

-i don't think he realizes the gaps he inhabits tho

-not that he cares, i think he's pretty carefree like that

-so whenever u want to see him, js sit down and wait for him to appear

-so convenient!

[dreamsarebutterflies]

This! Also, I love that Ranma always thinks of protecting Akane whatever the cost. I love that he doesn't want people's feelings to be hurt, whatever they did. I love how he keeps Ryoga's secret, because he knows the same pain, and how it is actually protecting the weak trust Akane has in men as well, even if it's a finger to boundaries.

I love how genuine he is, how he lets himself fall for Akane for who she is but when he feels stupid for it, he always says "you're not cute!" In a childish way to hide behind a lie and to frustrate her just as much as he is. He is such a child but in a pure and innocent way, really, and I can't wait for Akane to realize this and learn to enjoy this side of him.

I really enjoy the way Akane can be soft and kind to Ranma but it mostly happens when he's a girl. Akane will be more open about her negative feelings when Ranko is the one facing her, even if it means slapping her out of anger and frustration. When he's facing jealousy for example, she always puts on a mask with a "everything is fine but you're trash" smile. Ranma always allows Akane to hit him when he's a girl, too but she can avoid Shampoo's attack just fine. I don't know, I really like the different vibe between them according to which body Ranma has. So far, love has appeared more with Ranko, meaning they develop intimacy mostly when both girls. Honestly, I've never noticed before.

Side note but it's truly so sad that both Ranma's "first kiss" were nonconsensual kisses. One that was forced on him, to his girl body at that, and the guy who did it will forever think she wanted it, her words will always only be noises. The other that he thought would mean death or at least lifetime stalking but actually meant yet another forced marriage. And Akane is kind of insensitive about it, not caring or even mentioning the first one and thinking he liked Shampoo's kiss. That's unfair, when you see he fought so hard to protect Akane's lips so she would have the choice of her own first kiss.

I feel like the old anime had a different approach regarding Ranma's complex feelings about his body. He hated his girl body but used it as a tool, as a weapon, because that's how he was raised: turning what he thought a disadvantage into an advantage. I don't know if people would allow it in 2024 but he was totally allowed to see his girl body as a negative and unnatural thing which needed correcting, which made him weaker etc. Not because it was a girl's body but because it was not HIS body as he knew it (body dysphoria type of thing).

Here he doesn't seem to be too bothered by it, merely annoyed for now. I find him kind of passive in all these things happening to him. But maybe that's the VA that doesn't do anything for me. Anyway, his girl persona really gets Ranma in all kinds of troubles he never asked for, just by being here, avoiding starvation, defending a friend. So he gets more than anyone why Akane would hate men. When Ranma is a girl, what she says isn't taken into account, how she fights doesn't matter, and people give meaning into her actions that she never meant in the first place. The story itself hasn't changed since the first anime but I guess that the fact there are no fillers here makes everything more obvious. In a way, that's an interesting way to show double standards and advice on the importance of putting boundaries in place and respect them.

i love how the remake makes it clear that ranma only has eyes for akane and actually addresses the depth of akane's trust issues regarding men.

he wishes that akane was as straightforward about her feelings as shampoo is. he just wants confirmation that she loves him too.

meanwhile akane is struggling with trusting ranma, thinking back to his "akane is my fiancee" confession on the skating rink. since she's never been in love, she registers his flustered reactions to shampoo as mutual attraction instead of fear & a reaction to being stalked.

she was just about to trust ranma after the skating incident with her romantic feelings, but having shampoo come and be overly affectionate, throws a wrench in an already weak trust bridge between them that leaves her jealous, angry and confused. she probably thought that he didn't mean what he said in the skating rink even though the truth is the opposite.

i really appreciate how the remake highlights their love struggles as being connected to their own personal struggles. it provides a real and deep insight into their characters.

[arttsuka]

Based on somewhat real events

I spent way too much time drawing this...

But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you

A continuation (kinda)

[maddymoreau]

[ourtalechara]

Anything unusual?

You mean more unusual than... Well, than usual?

Hmmm... Not much...

Oh, though... I did just see a bloke swearing at a lamppost.

Yeah, a lamppost. There was a satchel hanging from it. He kept jumping, trying to grab at it. It was just out of his reach, the poor bugger.

Anyway...

Is that all you wanted to ask me?

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[d3nji]

Woke up and got depressed yay

[girlivealwaysbean]

i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point

[trekkiehood]

.

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[miabrown007]

going crazy about kaz brekker hours

[woahjo]

im about to say something a little emo but bear with me pls.

i genuinely am happy being single. im okay not having a partner and not doing the things. i love having me time and i love being able to devote my time entirely to myself and my friends and i KNOW that my worth isn't contingent on having a partner or not. but sometimes man, it just gets a little hard. because it's never happened for me yet and because there's a small part of me that doesn't think it ever will. it's not because i need someone else to make me feel fulfilled. i am plenty fulfilled by my own company and by my art and by my hobbies and by my friends. i just want to love, you know? i want to experience loving someone and being loved back. i want to be able to look at someone and love their eyelashes and their smile and their nose and their chin and their shape and be able to tell them that. i want to be able to imagine a future with someone. platonic love exists too and i don't think anything will be able to replace it, but i would like to experience romantic love. i want to know what it's like to care and be cared about that way. but the problem (and the nice thing i guess?) is that im not in any real rush. i'm looking, but im not devoting my time to it, nor do i feel the need to "settle" just to experience it. but it does get incredibly isolating, especially BECAUSE i don't care much about that stuff. idk how else to explain it other than isolating. it seems like everyone i meet has dated or is dating and that seems to be what people want to talk about, while i've never really done any of those things, nor do i know what its like to be cared about that way. and while im okay with the fact that it hasn't happened yet, the insecurity creeps up constantly that it never will.

im not wording properly but it's isolating. i feel very isolated in my experience with romance and dating. and while i have limited experience (strictly sexual, which i have mixed feelings about), i feel like i am too far behind for anyone to take me completely seriously. i need to move slow and it feels to me like everyone moves so fast. at least in my country/state, it feels like "sex first, talk later" and i don't want to do that. it's an isolating experience and the lack of... idk understanding (?) or maybe willingness to learn about me when dating can sometimes make me feel like maybe people think that there is nothing worth knowing or learning.