#i don't even like women omg

[2redpx]

why are so many bots following me how do i make it stop 😭

[official-lucifers-child]

absolutely heartbreaking to see some of my favourite youtubers accept sponsors from betterhelp despite the literal actual federal trade commission stating that betterhelp broke its own privacy rules and pressured customers into giving them personal health information that they then gave to third party companies and fucking social media platforms.

like i understand that betterhelp seems like a mostly affordable, accessible alternative to in-person therapy, but i expected them to actually research the company a bit before accepting the sponsorship? i mean, even the most shallow of searches immediately brings up the legal case against betterhelp which exposed all of their shady dealings and mishandlings. maybe i'm expecting too much, but if a company asking to sponsor me lost a legal case because they sold their clients' medical information to facebook, i would turn down the sponsorship.

[zukkaoru]

did u guys know that.. genderbending and even transfem-ing your favorite male characters... doesn't actually mean you care about female characters. just some food for thought.

[beanghostprincess]

hear me out I like zeff/yasopp I think it's great but just hear me out sora right? Mrs Vinsmoke instead of poisoning herself to fix her babies. She poisons her husband, killing him. She takes her daughter and runs away to the east blue.

She finds the nice humble island with a small village known as syrup village. She has a nice little home and delivers her babies in the village and raises them on her own. They're all completely normal well adjusted non-emotionally stunted children with their own passions and hobbies. Ichiji literature and poetry, Niji gardening and plants Sanji is still cooking and Yonji is sports mainly baseball Reiju ballet.

she befriends a lady named Banchina she likes to visit her once in a while and brings her son usopp to play with them. They get closer like really close Sora is catching feelings practically having a second sexual awakening with this woman. She doesn't know what to do She didn't even know she was bisexual until now. That's how trapped she was in that miserable miserable marriage

Banchina is a lesbian (insert lavender marriage backstory right here we know the lore yasopp is being gay somewhere this ain't about him) she fell for this woman the minute she saw her she was head over heels. Gorgeous, beautiful. She needs her She wants her. She pursues her

They kiss, they start seeing each other more often they get closer they're in love

NOOO THIS IS SO CUTE ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT-

The whole lavender marriage thing with Yasopp and Banchina is just amazing to me, tbh. I adore them. And Sora deserved so much better,, She deserved to escape from that hell and get a wife fr fr. And in this concept we're like, SO adding Childhood BFFs to lovers Sanuso right??? Right???

Because I can't stop thinking about Sora raising the kids on her own in Syrup Village and they all have their little personalities and passions. And Sanji still loves to cook and is the sweetest thing that has ever existed. Honestly, he might not get his stubborn and strong personality from Zeff but he could most definitely get it from his brothers. 100%. If in this concept they act like normal siblings I can assure you they are arguing 24/7 (but they're very protective of Sanji because you will have to kill me before I give up my headcanon of the brothers actually loving Sanji a lot). So yadda yadda yadda he meets Usopp and they are best friends and they grow up together and they are boyfriends and the story is similar to the original except that there's no Zeff BUT Luffy does end up making these two idiots join. Except that they're boyfriends already. And the story doesn't change because they already look like boyfriends in canon.

But this isn't about them because I like women more!

Okay so Sora is the sweetest mother in the whole world but since she has to raise the kids on her own she also has to act tough sometimes and you know,,, It is a hard job when you have,,, 5 kids,,, Poor woman. But she loves her little angels SO much it's insane and they love her even MORE and they all help in their tiny little home in the village somehow. Tiny little family that is not so tiny because those are 5 kids. Girl,,, I just know Banchina would want to help her somehow. Usopp doesn't have that many friends and Banchina thinks it's a great idea to go visit Sora and the kids so Usopp has somebody to play with. And even if it's a bit hard because his personality clashes a lot with the brothers, he gets along the most with Sanji. Instant best friendism because Sanji looks so sweet and quiet and sensitive and Usopp goes full superhero mode on him. My pookies,,,

Honestly, Banchina is so real for falling for Sora right away. Because. You know. Have you seen Sora? I think Banchina admires her a lot because sometimes it's hard for her to raise Usopp on her own without Yasopp around and you're telling her Sora can do that same thing with 5 kids??? And Sora falls for Banchina too because. Again. Have you seen her??? And she is also so fun to be around and so so helpful!

Wouldn't it be extremely sweet but angsty if they started to fall in love, meeting even when the kids aren't around and doing chores together, but Sora feeling guilty because she thinks Banchina is actually married married to Yasopp? She doesn't know anything about the lavender marriage yet,,, And Banchina doesn't want to ask personal, intrusive things, so she doesn't know more than "They escaped from a bad place" about Sora and her kids. She guesses she doesn't want a romantic relationship now-- But she does!! Of course she does!!

Banchina is just,, So sweet to her and so so helpful and thoughtful. Sora isn't used to this much kindness in her life,, You have to keep in mind she basically got out of an abusive relationship and it's the first time somebody actually wants her for herself and not to use her. Banchina always wants to cook for her and help her with her groceries and look after the kids when Sora wants to take a nap. And I think Sora also would see her with Sanji cooking, stopping fights between the brothers and playing with them (also fixing their stuff bc I hc that Banchina knows her ways when it comes to like, mechanics and art and such), and talking for hours with Reiju and dancing with her. Sora is so in love,,, She has never felt like this before. She didn't even know she liked girls. But she doesn't want to make any sudden changes for the kids,, Again,, Or ruin what they have. So she stays quiet.

And Banchina loves painting, by the way. Obviously, because I say so (and bc I want Usopp to have a deeper reason to love art). So Banchina is always drawing Sora, at first absentmindedly, and later on she realizes the only thing that inspires her is Sora,,, She has always been looking for that. A true passion and stability and knowing she can trust somebody to stay and to offer her their heart so she can paint it. She's a bit intense when it comes to helping Sora, maybe, but she wants to be helpful! And Sora is always taking care of her too and her health!! Looking out for her and being oh so gentle and fun to be around. Sora is the sweetest but she's also a bit of a tease and her laugh is the cutest thing Banchina has ever heard. But yeah,,, Neither of them wants to confess even though they've almost kissed,,, A lot of times.

Okay,,, But wouldn't it be cute if Sanji and Usopp's crushes on each other started very early in their friendship and Sora and Banchina realized they have to be honest about their feelings thanks to their kids??? Because they both ask for advice from them about how to tell somebody you like them, and when they're both like "If you truly feel like it's meant to be you'll know... You need to follow your heart and be honest..." they know they have to finally be together together. They wouldn't tell their kids right away because they think they need to get used to more to this dynamic first and it's a big change. So they stay quiet and keep it to themselves. But, you know, Banchina and Usopp basically live with them now at this point so it's hard not to know.

Also,,, Can't stop thinking about Sora being a badass and knowing Judge is the most horrible person to ever exist BUT still having issues with relationships because of his fault? She still has this feeling of like, thinking she's worthless and needs to do more and more and more? And give give give? And Banchina helping her all the time and sharing the burden and seeing all the pretty things Judge found ugly in her,,,, It does wonders for her heart. And Banchina also realizes that she doesn't have to be alone and can share her passions and true feelings with somebody finally??? What if I cry.

Aghhhh. I absolutely adore this. The kids grow up and do their own things and Usopp and Sanji go with Luffy and they are all happy and there's no angst! And once they're alone they can be cottagecore middle-aged sapphics in their little village.

Lil note: Somebody choose a shipname bc I am awful with these things thank you-

[empresskadia]

Round 4 because Part III was that good, holy crap. Hear me out:

-

Linda-058 has a secret sweet tooth. Growing up in the Spartan program, sweets were usually fought for if they weren't given out as a reward or hidden well, so she learned to hide hers the best. (She also learned where all the other candidates hid theirs.) Even outside the program, she kept it a secret because she had a reputation to keep. She couldn't be Linda, the Sniper Goddess if she was caught eating ice cream. Then, she met you. You had never seen her blush before, but her face was as red as her hair when she shared a chocolate milkshake with you. When you both finished, she kissed the leftover whip cream off the tip of your nose.

-

Kelly-087's affections are usually expressed physically in a variety of ways. She has a tendency to lift you off the ground when she hugs you, playing with your fingers while holding hands, or "sneak attacking" you with kisses when she thinks you aren't paying attention. You know she's coming, but you don't have the heart to tell her that.

-

Cal-141 likes to carry you in the way one would carry a bride. She thinks it's cute, and it reminds her of the tales of knights and princesses from when she was a child before the Spartan program. One time, you had bought her a golden dress that would fit her because she had mentioned wanting one ever since she was a kid, and it was like the fairy tales had come true. Cal offered her hand to you after she managed to put it on, insisting on dancing with her knight in shining armor.

-

Sarah Palmer isn't the best with her feelings. Being an ODST during the war and the Commander of all the Spartan-IVs after the war, she tends to hide her emotions behind a mask. Fortunately, as her second in command, you're able to see past the mask she puts on for others. She shows her love in subtle ways, in ways your subordinates wouldn't notice. The way her touch lingers just a few seconds longer, the way her lips ever so slightly curl upward when she sees you, how her eyes tend to flick to you. She's a lot less subtle with her affections in the privacy of your own quarters though.

PART 3 WAS FREAKIN AMAZING, tell me more,

Linda would threaten you to never tell anyone, not even the rest of blue team can know. This is also where she would confess to stealing everyone else's sweets in the program. AND KISSES MY NOSE *FERAL NOISE* that got me good, I'm screaming, and I just tossed my laptop to the side in excitement. Linda <3, honestly, Linda is a beauty-

Kelly is the most affection spartan and she has moments where she looks at her partner and this unexplainable desire to shower them with kisses comes over her. She also likes holding their face in the palm of her hand and will say "my whole world fits in the palm of my hand" ALSO, I would really like Kelly to pick me up and hold me against the wall-

because she would just to see her partner get flustered as hell

omg Cal <3, sweet angel, she would carry you like a princess and even kiss your nose or forehead when she's getting overwhelmed with feelings. AND THE DRESS, first, she would look beautiful, and second, you would help her pin her hair up while you also kiss her scars.

I believe Sarah and her partner would have their own subtle way of their affections for Sarah's sake too. Roland is the only one who has caught on and has been threatened into silence not by the commander but by her second-in-command. Sarah thinks about her partner in the little things throughout the day and when they're in bed together, she will tell them about all the things that made her think of you with a small smile on her face and her ears turning into a tinted pink.

[hatake]

this is gonna sound so counterintuitive and and perhaps Problematique and i can't rly put my finger on why but whenever male public figures use the term ✨toxic masculinity✨ it makes me side eye them; it gives me the same vibes as ppl using therapy speak ?? like when u say that you are fighting against toxic masculinity are u understanding it within the context of patriarchy or are u just co-opting it for brownie points and your own benefit

[chaos-in-one]

Exclusionist weirdos when trans, mspec, and aspec people also exist in lgbtq spaces:

[wewontbesleeping]

type of "content" that probably drives me the craziest is when women, just regular, every day, non influencer women who haven't had plastic surgery or fillers/botox mention their age and all the weirdos have to file into their comments to be like "you're 35??? I'M 35 and i look soooo much younger than you!!! you look OLD and UGLY!!!!!" like. first of all, what makes you think that's ever an acceptable thing to say to anyone? but second of all, you do not look 18. i don't know who told you that, but they were lying. you look 35. she looks 35. there's nothing wrong with that. walk outside and look at what actual human beings look like without filters. you have lines on your face, too.

[maraczeks]

+

[tohrus]

welp . due to "unforeseen" circumstances, imma have to leave my toxic ass household :D

[meezer]

my mean gay professor's idea of "artsy" is a book that's like. "what if there was a woman... right. so there's this woman... and she, hold onto your hats for this one......... she gets abused. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT DUDE. SO DEEP RIGHT? LITERARY. FUCKING. MASTERPIECE."

[asmodeusamaryllis]

Idk if I'm the biggest fan of using the trope 'no man can harm me! Alas I'm a woman ;)' being done vice versa so u can have a male protag n potentially show up all the women characters but I trust nishi that that won't happen 🤞

[holysaintscathedral]

Straight cis dudes are so painfully out of touch with what women actually like and seek out in a man that I'm honestly amazed that they manage to go through life being that willfully ignorant.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

It's really no wonder to me that Kate Bush guested on Big Country's album The Seer's title track because not an insignificant amount of that album WAS INFLUENCED BY KATE BUSH, and absolutely no one can change my mind. (To be fair, I don't think that even the band would want to change my mind about that. Which, I love them for that.)

[swagging-back-to]

im littchhherally so over constantly putting 220% into every conversation and getting the most dry and uninterested/uninteresting replies in existence.

[redmelawashere]

tbh probably a controversial hot take considering what I've seen floating in the tags, but I actually really like the HOD show and I'm really getting exhausted with book purists. The book and show aren't meant to be a 1-to-1 adaptation, they're meant to be a transmedial storytelling - when media complements one another and are interwoven like fabric. The book is meant to be a historical summation of the events written by Maesters like 100 years after the fact, based on unreliable sources and hearsay. The show is the "what actually happened" and I think that's FASCINATING from a historical revisionist perspective, the biases of the Maesters and their disdain of Targaryen customs from a religious perspective, misogyny, and patriarchy. Its an excellent commentary on history written by the victors, demonization of women, and how PR works. I've really enjoyed seeing Blood and Cheese, the Battle of Rooks Rest and having this "ooooh OOOH OF COURSE IT WAS WRITTEN IN X WAY TO NOT REVEAL Y" eureka moments while watching.