#i don't do well with embarrassment
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The second-hand embarrassment demon got to me, he's so cringe (affectionate)😭.
#i would kill myself actually#i don't do well with embarrassment#so honestly Kazuki stronger than me frfr#he is cringe but he is free#buddy daddies#episode 9
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I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?
I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#don't mind me just killing time waiting for maintenance to end so i can stick my face directly into 7-12#i mean i'm on the record (read: constantly posting) about how much i love the whole tragique backstory behind mal's birth#and. look. hold on it's a day ending in y time to be embarrassing about anime characters online again#no but really i love him. i love how he's such a vague figure but also the way his and silver's stories contrast#i cannot articulate it very well but just#i love how he's essentially like...bad end silver#he let himself go along with the big evil plan because he wanted to save his dad and not betray his king and all that#and when he finally did take a stand it was too late to stop the worst of it#meanwhile silver was immediately like NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THIS#silver is NOT going to end up slaying the dragon thank you very much#me kicking my stupid little legs in glee over it all#and! the retrospect when you realize! that he was the one leading silver around lilia's memories!!!!#he is so happy that silver and lilia have each other!#he's so happy for them!#i want to put him in a can and hold him in my pocket for 16 years#also: his ridiculous hair. it's so silly and so good.#may vil never meet him#the knowledge that there's someone with naturally gorgeous hair who has somehow done it even dirtier than silver would destroy him
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Do you have any character/scene/color references you use that you could show for fanart purposes?
I don't rjnlgvd😭😭😭😭
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO DO SOME BUT I HAVEN'T FOUND THE TIME YET ,,,,,,,,
I usually just check past panels to check details...which is bad practice....please don't be like me,,, I constantly forget to draw WIngding's pocket...which...he may or may not have anymore... that pocket is so annoying
I NEED TO DO REFERENCES SOON!!! AND WHEN I DO THEM I'LL DEFINITELY SHARE THEM!
Here's some things?? I really don't think these will be useful because none of these are finished?? but, here
The first one is just, Alphys and Sans, but that one's a little old, alphys doesn't have a green shirt anymore, it's just the white lab coat
The second one is the sketch I made for Wingdings' and Sans's room, but that one is not finished AT ALL
I just needed the overall idea for that one scene hehe
The last one is WIngdings' lab coat c:
#This is what happens when you're indecisive with ur designs and backgrounds and the general aesthetic of the comic...#LIKE#LOOK AT THE FIRST PAGES OF CHAPTER ONE#I TRIED STICKING WITH A COLOR PALLETE AND... THAT DID NOT GO WELL I DON'T LIKE HOW THOSE PAGES COLORS LOOK.....#Never doing that again#I very sadly almost always forget to add pockets lmao#BUT!! AT LEAST I STARTED THE COMIC INSTEAD OF WAITING FOREVER UNTIL EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT#and i've learned from my mistakes#NOW#I REALLY NEED TO MAKE THOSE REFERENCES#SOON... I HOPE....#this is so embarrassing LMAOO
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What if Jeeves had worked as a page boy at a private boys' school in his youth?
#jeeves and wooster#bertie wooster#reginald jeeves#jooster#haha jeez(#jeeves had this indifferent look on his face#it's like he's embarrassed#or he's not happy about being distracted from his work of a pageboy#although i still don't fully understand what jeeves would do in that position or what his daily routine was🤔#as far as i could tell he was just an errand boy??#correct me if i'm wrong#i have one possible idea how they could have met if that's even realistic#because I think bertie had a strict routine#bertie could have been left in this private school for vacations (some short ones in the middle of the semester)#because of his bad behavior (maybe he misbehaved on purpose because he didn't want to go back home to angry aunt agatha)#or his bad studies and jeeves would have continued to work during the vacations because ?he is the staff?#oh my god i just googled eton college uniforms and#they wore cylinders :3#oh-#they were whipped as punishment-#okay well let's just leave it like that :']
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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--Really, Doctor?
#star trek#star trek fanart#spones#spones fanart#mcspirk if you squint#bones x spock#star trek tos#star trek the original series#bread and circuses#bones mccoy#spock#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#this scene gets quoted a lot as proof for spirk#which is all well and good! but i have also seen it quoted against spones (bones particularly.) and i am a bit tired of that admittedly#i do have my grievances but i shan't say. if you squint they're there in my art of course but oh mcspirk my mcspirk save me#almost captioned this with an italicized 'oh' but that should tell you all you need to know about my thought process for this lmaoo#the thing with drawing things with a meaning in mind is that i face the inconvenient side effect of thinking that explaining myself will be#--thoroughly embarrassing. i am working on it. but also having to explain my metaphors (which i should! but. alas)...#embarrassing. i do not know why this is embarrassing but i feel it acutely#and as such i may simply have to write a fic about it 🫠#ok things to note just so i remember: spock's expression. the light. the oh moment. the hands#and of course intimacy. i enjoy my soft old men and they will be married eventually#anyways i sat down to do work and drew this instead lmao ill deal with my lab prep before bed (if i don't end up starting my sixth wip in--#five days 💀💀💀 hlep#dust medibang paints#trek fave
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Madame Yu would never but oh for one fic where she packs up the kids and flees the jurisdiction. Jiang Cheng and Yanli would be so upset and miss Wei Wuxian and their father and you know, their home & community. Jiang Fengmian feels like he's taken a truck to the face (thanks truck-kun). Wei Wuxian is sure it's all his fault and is deeply distressed. Madame Yu is probably literally possessed. But still. It sucks! leave! Hit the bricks! listen to the meme skeleton that has taken up residence in your head.
#i'm picturing her eldest sister like well yuanyuan would never which must mean things are unspeakably bad guess we're going to war with a#great sect actually. unfortunate#maybe we can stall and pretend it's an extended visit bcs one of the children had fallen terribly ill#and er-jie like nono we'll just assassinate him and put a-cheng on the throne#madame jin will help!#we never liked him anyway#eventually they find out she's possessed and it's like ooops very embarrassing for us and also you#but like it would be more embarrassing to call it off at this point?#you don't really like him do you?#we can tell#and then she has to go rescue him from the assassins and like#frame wen ruohan or something i don't know
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matthew murdock parallels. earth 65 & earth 616
#daredevil#daredevil comics#matt murdock#matt murderdock#murderdock#marvel comics#comics edit#earth 616#earth 65#tw suicide#suicide tw#blood tw#trigger warning suicide#tw blood#trigger warning blood#DON'T look at the speech boxes too hard okay#I had to move them to make this work but I know they look like ass#I don't love how this all looks but that's what happens when you're dealing with like six different artists#murderdock is so flop and so embarrassing he didn't even build his own shadowland fortress#I was gonna have some more explicitly shadowland ones in here but man it was hard to find a panel that really screams LEADING THE HAND#that could fit into such a small box#I was also gonna do a killing felicia's dad vs killing bullseye moment but the killing bullseye panel was just way too much#I guess I could've found a recreation of it#there was one in waid's run wasn't there? oh well
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Gojou Satoru taking a photo with his kouhai he so totally do not have a crush on, he swears! Print | Ko-fi
#jujutsu kaisen#nanago#gojou satoru#nanami kento#gojo satoru#gonana#my art#two spellings for gojou because most don't spell with a 'u' sdfsadf#but i am stubborn and add the 'u' just because it looks so nice as well XD#ANYWAY this was super fun to do because aside from them being my ship#gojou is just sooo crushing on nanami ever since and he's SO OBVIOUS about it that it's very embarrassing lmao#and he would ABSOLUTELY buy all the nanami merch#you can tell it's gojou who did all the stickers if all the kissy marks wasn't that obvious XD#how nanami tolerates him is beyond me which BASICALLY MEANS he also crushes on gojou because DUH#it was mutual and everyone and my mom knows it sdfasdfsdf#and i know gojou would do something so silly like this sdfasdf nanami hair moustache has gojou written all over it XD#i just love them sire ugh OTL
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I hate to do this again, but I'm out of options. I have to pay my $350 power bill by 5pm CST tomorrow (December 7th, 2023) or I'll be disconnected, and my account is currently over $500 in the red from December's rent. I still haven't been able to find a new job and things are getting really desperate
If I can get $350 within the next 24 hours, I can pay the bill directly through paypal and at least keep my lights on while keeping my bank account overdrawn for now. If you're able to help out, my ko-fi is here, and you can DM me for my paypal or venmo if necessary. Reblogs are also appreciated. Thanks y'all <3
$0/350
#i'm really embarrassed to be asking again already#to preemptively answer some questions: the last post was about November's (overdue) rent. that was paid. the overdraft is for December#and no i don't know why this one overdrafted my account but the last one bounced#and yes $350 is an unusually large power bill. there was an issue with my water heater that my landlord took his sweet time to come fix#ugh i really do hate doing this again so soon i'm sorry#it's almost making me regret giving so much to mutual aid when i had a well-paying job instead of saving#keyword almost - i'm still glad i did - but damn this situation sucks
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I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha
*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao
#meanwhile rook is kicking himself for being unprofessional b/c he WAS getting something important from spite there#and also lucanis had like. just woken up was that cool of me. should I have told him. should I have slowed that down???#watcher's duty crashing into watcher's longing blues ensues#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I think I might have done something hilarious and a little wonderful to the lucanis romance#by making a rook who's even slower to romance than he is fhskjfhsa#even here I was straight up like 'oh this is a little early for this don't you think' on rye's behalf (it's not we have to be mid-game)#imagine how he'd fare in some of the other romances you'd just bowl him over. davrin might kill him#(and also they would kill each other for unrelated reasons during it but that's another matter (affectionate I love my lads))#lucanis has been squinting at rook in stolen moments ever since the café scene like '...did I imagine that vibe. surely not right.#i'm pretty sure. but am I. I do know he likes me. but DOES he like like me or is that just what I want it to be. this is very embarrassing#for everyone involved' (it is)#davrin has had both their numbers the entire time tho. and been extremely annoyed but professional about it#he knew from the moment these two chucklefucks showed up in his recruitment mission. and has been an adult about it. mostly#even when they've made it real hard ('so I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're not letting the abomination serial killer run around#just because you're transparently excruciatingly sweet on him. right. RIGHT??')#I have accidentally given lucanis a pattern of falling for people who keep covered neck to toe at all times#but like not to be a metaphor for their emotional intimacy issues or anything haha. imagine.#I'm making my own heart so tender by imagining lucanis struggling to get rye out of his (many-layered) robes during the romance scene#and both of them laughing right from the soul in relief and delight at each other b/c like 'how could I kill a god only to be bested#by nevarran fashion. also how in the maker's name do you get dressed so quickly in the mornings this is intense'#'same way one does anything else lots of practice and a can-do attitude'/'well I'll just have to put in the practice then'#and they just hug for a while. *head in my hands* yeah okay I can be normal. I can be normal about this.
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1x01 || 1x04
#utsukushii kare#my beautiful man#1x01#1x04#hira kazunari#kiyoi sou#parallels#gifset#*brace's#//#Kiyoi is so Not Normal about the things Hira does for him#about Hira looking after him and Hira taking his preferences into account#Hira thinking about what will make Kiyoi the happiest and what will make Kiyoi the most pleased#he's just so Not Normal about the way Hira cares about him and showers him with genuine undivided attention#and he's so thirsty for it he chugs it down faster than the bottle of water#///#guys I don't do this kinda thing very often (try to describe what's happening in a scene IN the gifs)#but I thought this time just the visuals and dialogue weren't enough (for you to understand the cause of all my screaming)#I might be wrong in a few of my interpretations though...#I think Hira might have brought water as well because he thought Kiyoi might be VERY thirsty#and not because water is better when you're thirsty...? I tried to leave it for open interpretation#also we don't know if KY asked HR to buy him ginger ale (although he may have done that out of embarrassment/to get HR out of his sight)#or if Hira did that because he thought Kiyoi was angry at him and he waited with a peace offering until Kiyoi was done with his practice#I left the ''without being told to'' because even if Kiyoi hasn't asked for ginger ale THIS time‚ he has asked before#but he never asked for water and he wasn't expecting Hira to get that for him because Hira *wanted* to#plus. in the 2nd scene I'm not sure why Kiyoi says he can't/won't drink ginger at first.#but I'm assuming it's because it might upset his stomach in its current condition? so he wants to‚ but it's better if he doesn't?#(also. the 2nd scene makes me think of that extra clip in which Hira asks Kiyoi why does he only drink ginger ale#and Kiyoi responds ''because that's what you give me'' 😪)
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adult romance books with demisexual characters be like "I haven't really felt attraction but i know i WANT TO" "yeah I've vaguely heard about asexuality but never looked into it more it's all so confusing and doesn't feel right" *conflates complex feelings about romance and sex into just asexuality* "you don't have to choose labels labels are so confusing and complicated (but you will choose a label related to which genders you're attracted to)" "i know it's okay to be single and not want relationships but I want that and I feel like my life is bad and missing something because of it" *obligatory queer best friend speech telling them it's okay if they don't want sex or romance or both but the MC doesn't internalise that at all* "i don't like labels i guess demi is technically what I might be we'll put the word on the page but I just don't want to label it"
okay!!! we get it!!!
#sorry to be a bitch.#like OBVIOUSLY these are all very real feelings and experiences - it's not inherently an issue in any book.#and like most of the books this comes up in I do review relatively well!#but when it's just. repeated in so many of them. it starts to feel a) arophobic and b) like... embarrassed of asexuality?#also I know it's a thing where I notice it when it annoys me but don't notice when books don't do it#though: read Life Underwater recently and I really appreciated that as a 'I thought I was aroace but I met this person - guess I'm greyro-#- but if it ended i'd be perfectly fine to not be attracted to anyone again'.. but also that's greyro-ace rather than allo-demi.#laya talks#ALSO LIKE. i say this as someone who isn't sure exactly where I am on the ace spectrum either by the way. I'm not being an aroace purist
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perpetually suffering the tortures lately
#don't ever make a very complex/esoteric story based around a pre-existing fandom .worst mistake of my life#<-(the tortures)#half joking but the autism has been extremely agonizing lately in almost every way imaginable#.mostly just in the typical way of. it being impossible to believe i can actually be welcomed in any sort of fandom/community#and feeling horribly embarrassed about continuously pushing my posts into tags where people are trying to enjoy themselves#so. been spending the last month or so trying to beat my brain out of being hyperfixated on the blorbos to the point of embarrassment#<--putting this here mostly as an apology/explanation ig for not posting much lately .#trying to exile myself from the fandom + in general. it has been hard to do literally anything but lay in bed all day#also as well as just like. summer sensory hell + sadd moments#ough . the tortures
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Mom, there's a crazy man yelling in the trees.
#LMAO#kazuki really is something#i don't know what it is but it sure is something#also rei better than me frfr#cause i would've left his immediate vicinity#like I've never even seen that man before in my life#i don't do well with public embarrassment lol#buddy daddies#episode 6
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revisiting the old hyperfixation that is Warren the Eagle 🙈💖 sometimes hyperfixations lie in wait for weeks, months, even years before they get you. but within seconds of hearing that pathetic, whiny little voice, i just fucking knew... i knew Don't Hug Me I'm Scared had gotten me again and i knew it would be this freak before he was even on the screen 💀
#wish i could communicate to you the sensation of mortification i felt when Warren physically showed up#and knowing with absolute certainty HE was going to be the character i was consumed by for the next few months 😭😭😭#making those posts on here like 'hahaha guys who do you think the next DHMIS Sexyman will be. wouldn't it be funny if it were Warren'#knowing full well i was already TOO far gone to anything about it and wanting to drag you all down with me 😂#i will not confess how many times i have committed social engineering in fandom re: embarrassing fixations to offset my own humiliation#but it's more than once and it WILL happen again ���💖💖#either way shout out to Warren. one of my silliest cringiest and greasiest favourite guys. he needs to be asphyxiated#ssssssshut up i just think his voice is so...!!!!! 😳#warren the eagle#dhmis warren#don't hug me i'm scared#dhmis#starleskatalks
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