#i don't care that this meme is like... almost a decade old now

[uncanny-tranny]

Cracking open a cold one (new vial of T) with the boys (all my tboy friends) 💪

[three--rings]

Started writing this last

I spent the six months before and the nine months after the 2016 election doing extensive activism, online like 16 hours a day compiling actions and protests and coordinating people.

And then I burned out hard, and quit, sick of everyone and everything in the left-leaning political sphere. Absolutely sick to death of the endless handwringing about which actions were actually good and which were problematic or ineffective and infighting over priorities and virtue signaling.

And I found refuge in Yuri on Ice fandom, which is when I started writing fic again for almost the first time in a decade.

And I look at the future here and I'm just so tired. Too tired to do that again. The world is so much worse now. Discourse is so much worse now. Politics has gone rancid. I'm too old, tired, and disabled to fight. And mostly I don't have hope like I used to.

I just feel like the most I can manage now is to maintain my own desire to keep living. I mean it's already the most I can do to keep us fed and our bills paid. I have a business I need to put more work on to bring in money cause see the cost of everything. I need to work on building strength so I can properly walk again.

You know? But I feel like I'm failing.

I'm already so, so tired of seeing posts about giving money to various (worthy!) charities as a way to do something, when I can't make it from paycheck to paycheck these days and cannot spare anything.

And I don't have transportation anywhere because I have a car that's needed repairs for almost a year now that I can't afford so I can't go and do anything. And yanno, it's gonna get WORSE for a long time before it gets better, now.

And I'm so tired of being so helpless and tired and I'm just that "man loses last little bit of hope he didn't even know he still had" meme. I didn't realize I had some optimism about my countrymen left but apparently I really did.

And I'm so so jealous of everyone I know in blue states. Who feel some comfort in where they are. I don't have any representatives to call! They hate me! They actively wish suffering on me and wish I would die! My neighbors are thrilled right now! My doctors will be celebrating again while I struggle to afford my care and I'll grimace and try to smile so I can continue living.

I don't know, I'm just...talking.

[willowtron]

Is Mike Tyson a mascot for Western Apathy? The Age of Ad Revenue.

I have a really bad habit of trying to make my "first" posts really special and good, so this time I'm going to break that habit by talking about something I really don't care about.

Okay, so Paul vs Tyson; probably the least exciting boxing match that could be conceived, where a semi-competent novice takes an easy and gentle win against a heavyweight champion from thirty-five years ago - where said novice has gained fame purely from being a large enough dickhead on the internet that people started giving him money, and the fifty-eight year old former champ seems both depressed and in poor health. Regardless of who you thought might win, the whole point of this was quite obviously just for Jake Paul to be able to say "I beat Mike Tyson!" (who really seems like he actually, genuinely, couldn't care less about losing).

This is at the same time as president-elect Donald J Trump (part 2!) has announced some of the most brainrot cabinet choices possible. I'd like to say they're smart grift choices or whatever, but it's pretty clear a lot of them are just people that built their career on being loud and divisive - and, most importantly, are disliked by most everyone on the left. Elon Musk, a man who earned his wealth through a combination of inheritance from slavery, scams, fraud, and cryptocurrency is going to be in charge of a government department named after a meme that stopped being funny almost a decade ago - and he's not even getting it to himself, it's a shared position. Matt Gaetz, who alleges he is technically not a pedophile, will also hold a position in government; as well as RFK Jr, failed presidential aspirant, who is (supposedly) largely opposed to Trump's political stances and perhaps very existence, but likes the idea of being involved in government enough that he still endorsed Trump to be president in the 2024 election.

About a month ago, around October-November of 2024, YouTube (owned by Google and ran by CEO Neal Mohan) quietly updated the way it serves ads; "unskippable, longer, more" seem to be the three main elements of YouTube's new ad direction, and this most recent change appears to be one of the most aggressive yet. Even in minor territories like the Isle of Man, where licensing small print has previously lead to a small amount of ads served, the number of ads has dramatically increased - all while YouTube's copyright systems remain famously unequal toward actual content creators, and ads themselves retain a high probability of breaching YouTube's terms of service.

After a series of aggressive acquisitions lead by CEO & Chairman Satya Nadella that had EU, US, and Chinese governments regarding the merger as anti-competitive and monopolistic, Microsoft successfully bought ownership of Activision-Blizzard-King; while the ABK name is perhaps most famed for titles such as World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, and Overwatch, it is actually Swedish partner King who owns the title Candy Crush Saga and the infrastructure to make strides into the mobile gaming industry for Microsoft. While the ownership of titles like Call of Duty unofficially "ends" the console wars (with Xbox's Halo and (sort of) PlayStation's CoD now being under the same company), minor aspects like this haven't been major factors in the gaming sphere since the more wide-spread adoption of PC gaming and handhelds like the Nintendo Switch. even so, in my opinion ABK as an acquisition pales in comparison to the purchase of Mojang's Minecraft, now just over ten years ago, which to this day retains a chokehold on the market of "games for children".

Minecraft, initially released in 2011 by Swedish company Mojang, and created by now-disgraced game designer Markus "Notch" Persson, has made a lasting cultural impact that I genuinely believe to be impossible to quantify. To try and provide even a slight amount of perspective, the iconic Steve "oof" has not been present in the game since Beta - which was now around fourteen years ago. And hey, remember King? Markus Persson used to work there. Anyway, in 2014 Microsoft acquired Mojang, and Minecraft with it, and has now owned the title for a decade. Perhaps one of the most controversial changes to the game (perhaps second only to... voter interference in the Mob Vote? Okay. Sure.) is the introduction of Microsoft's global chat-report moderation; regardless of whether you are in a public or private server, players have the ability to report any chat message from any player, and if deemed appropriate, Microsoft will then temporarily or permanently "silence" this player across every server.

I have a lot of love for Minecraft. If you took my playtime from every other game I've ever played, combined it, and doubled it, you still wouldn't reach my playtime in Minecraft. I was a child during its Alpha, I helped my school friends bypass security on school computers so they could play it, some of my closest friends were met on servers in that game, and there'll probably come a time where I write all of my thoughts about it properly. For now, all you need to know is that I don't look down on the title by any means, when I say Microsoft, and the capitalist elite, have ruined Children's gaming.

Every now and then, I think about the "Decline of children's spaces online" Reddit post on r/tumblr - the comments I feel are worth including in this, so forgive the link to reddit. I don't disagree with any aspects of the OOP or Reddit OP's collation by any means, but I feel it frames the problem from the perspective of people very much... more terminally online than myself. Not once have I ever thought "grah, these kids are taking my space away!" when I see a badly censored swear word or my favourite content creators lamenting demonitisation, I just think "wow advertisers fucking suck". Because they do, and the need for increased "family-friendly-ness" in an endless quest to make ad revenue actually profitable is killing all forms of social interaction online, be it via social media, video games, everything.

Shortly after the full acquisition of ABK by Microsoft, there was a large wave of permanent chat and account bans for players of the game Overwatch, due to the sending of swear words in chat. This caused uproar on social media, but was also largely seen as so ridiculous as to be funny; in a game where one of the characters will say "wanker", out loud, in game, you can be permanently banned for saying "fuck" or "shit". To my knowledge this has been reduced, but is still technically punishable. In a game where you go around, killing people, blood flying off their model as you hit them with your fists or shoot them with bullets, or electrocute them to death as they yell in agony, saying the fuck word is a bannable offense now.

On January 7th 2023, YouTuber and Twitch streamer RTGame posted the video "Youtube is Restricting My Content" in response to a back-and-forth with the media giant regarding a subtle and ambiguous alteration to YouTube's Terms of Service, and monetisation guidelines. This was, at the time, the latest in a string of ad-restriction changes that included requiring content creators to not use any foul language at the start of the video, requiring content creators to not use excessive amounts or severities of foul language, not show real actual human death, gore, and mutilation (which is still apparently allowed generally, but will cost you ad revenue. ???), etc. Three years prior, on March 23rd of 2020, YouTuber Tom Scott uploaded the video "YouTube's copyright system isn't broken. The world's is." The video highlights how copyright law and systems of enforcement have been outdated for years, in no small part due to the ability for individuals to make a living for themselves creating content and uploading it, without any form of corporate support beyond host websites like YouTube and Twitch. Ad revenue is the driving force behind an entire industry of online content creation - even things that utilise regular payments as part of a streaming service do so, typically, for the purpose of allowing the consumer to avoid ads. YouTube, Twitch, Spotify; all allow for individuals to post their own individual content, as long as the services themselves get a cut.

And as more and more of our infrastructure has moved online, and ads have become a tolerated nuisance tightly integrated into using basically any online service, we've been hit by the emergence of the largest obstacle yet; AI.

"AI" is not just ChatGPT. I do not say the term "AI" and refer to DallE or Grok or whatever other nonsense environment-killer is the Monster of the Week for anti-AI proponents. In many ways, the insinuation that these even count as "AI" is offensive to me as someone who grew up with the belief that the only true AI is one that deserves to be recognised as sentient. ChatGPT is not sentient. None of them are.

AI is ChatGPT, but it is also the way mobs move in the game Minecraft; it is also YouTube's content ID system for copyright; it is also the myriad of bots that operate on the stock market. It has been part of your daily life for years, much longer than it's been used to generate soulless art from the stolen work of actual artists - AI has served to remove the human element from the things too tedious or too numerous for humans to actually manage. Ads and copyright are right up there on that list. Which ads to serve, who to serve them to, and automatic filing of copyright claims have all been part of YouTube for long enough that I'd wager most people don't even really know the term "Content ID" anymore

"oh but those aren't really AI" yeah neither is a thing that just collects sentences and tries to blurt out something similar. They all just do data collection and then try to find trends, and no that's not the same as being neurodivergent, we're getting off track just trust me that they're the same for the purposes of this post. All you need to know is that your ads are served by AI, and probably largely generated by AI, and the entire content creation industry (be it social media like Twitter, live streaming platforms like Twitch, or hosting services like YouTube) is built almost solely upon ad revenue.

Games like Overwatch haven't been sanitised because children are stealing the spaces from adults; people don't censor swear words on posts because they care about the children; RTGame isn't replacing all cursing on his videos with literally the word "YouTube" just because he finds it funny (it is, though). Sanitisation occurs because ad revenue demands no limitations; because corporations that pay for ads don't want to hear about how the videos they have their ads on aren't appropriate for certain audiences, they don't care about the actual content they help pay for. They just want their cut - for their ad to reach as many people as possible.

I really didn't want to have to, but... I have to at least mention it. In a world where user consumption, clicks, ads viewed, and time watched are the primary metrics for financial success online, TikTok is the primary driving force behind a lot of "foul language focused" sanitisation. Censoring of the words kill, die, fuck, shit, sex, etc, etc, etc. It's... depressing. And the permeation of these habits onto other sites does make it feel like the only internet spaces available are baby spaces for people who can't handle a swear word or innate parts of the human experience. TikTok drives a significant amount of online discourse, both niche and mainstream, and acts as both a means of escaping real-world issues like genocide, poverty, and the horror of having a meaningful vote in the world's leading democratic nation, as well as a source of news and information in a world full of unacknowledged bias, misinformation, and five-second attention spans. TikTok has made the dystopian vision of a humanity that is both apathetic and powerless seem closer than ever by proving that, given the choice, a significant proportion of the population will not resist attempts to misinform them and dull their ability to process long-form information. TikTok is evidence that if your algorithm is good enough, then morals, beliefs, and self-respect are all secondary.

And that's the really important part. People do not think critically about the information they consume because the internet bombards you with a constant stream of it; this isn't TikTok specific, or even particularly restricted to just online content. It's about how accessible good, reliable sources of information are; it's about how trustworthy megacorporations are in regard to humanity's best interests; it's about whether ads are trying to serve the consumer, or trying to manipulate them. And most importantly, it's about how much people care - how critically they think about the information they receive and the content they consume, and how parties who don't want that can disincentivise it as much as possible.

Being unable to traverse the sheer expanse of opinion, information, and style that exists across the internet is just one barrier for uneducated and uninformed westerners. Partisan and tribal politics, distraction techniques targeting minorities and scapegoats, a skew towards conservative and reactionary political leanings from most every major news outlet, as well as a general sentiment that the world is "speeding up" - no time to rest, no time to think, just have the right opinions and work work work! - all contribute to the hostility of nuance and accuracy. "These people hate you and want to destroy your way of life" is a lot easier to understand than "well they don't actually hate you specifically, they just have a built up resentment for the systems that support your way of life due to the disenfranchisement of minorities and the working class - and they don't so much want to destroy your way of life as they want to help you understand that your way of life is actually harmful to you as well, because it's designed to only benefit the ultra-rich capitalist elite" when the people you're talking to have intentionally been given a biased and low-quality education (if any at all). FOX news likes stupid people; but those people don't like being called stupid (understandably) - and unfortunately there's no easy way to say "your preferred news source appeals to the uneducated" without it being insulting, or failing to get the point across.

It is both a societal and an individual responsibility to be educated and provide education, but I digress.

Remember Paul vs Tyson? and Donald Trump's cabinet? It's been a little while since we started, but I promise I didn't mention those for no reason.

Twitter (or X if you're a loser) is currently seeing a mass migration over to competitor Bluesky - a mix of Elon's appointment to Trump's government, as well as some unpopular changes regarding the block function, have spurred people to move away from Twitter once and for all; but it remains the world's largest social media site.

Overwatch has had global chat, the "looking for group" system, and the "unfiltered" text chat option all removed from the game - things like the in-built LFG or "Guilds" were promised, but never delivered. They likely never will following Microsoft's acquisition.

YouTube's largest channel is currently MrBeast, with T-Series, Cocomelon, SET India, and Kids Diana taking up 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Three of these five are aimed at children (aged 15 and under, per my arbitrary definition); The remaining two are multimedia brands. While PewDiePie is a controversial figure, his dethronement from the top of YouTube in 2019 fully signalled the end of YouTube being a site for individuals and its transition to being a site for brands, with more focus on ads and marketability.

TikTok's parent company ByteDance reported a revenue of one hundred and twenty billion dollars in 2023. US$120,000,000,000. The "Usage" section of TikTok's wikipedia page makes for... enlightening reading. By all means, check the original sources, but there's a lot there.

As time has gone on, major corporations have killed human interaction online. Limits on video length on sites like TikTok, limits on characters for sites like Twitter, removal of "undesirable" (not advertiser friendly) kinds of interaction from online gaming, a continuous push for the most profitable content to be the most supported content. News outlets, media platforms, all of them exist as businesses with the sole driving motivation of making as much money as possible - quality, truth, and the betterment of humanity be damned. Scratch that, sacrificed.

In a pre-match interview with Jazlyn Guerra, posted to YouTube channel Jazzy's World TV, former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson is seen scoffing in bewilderment - the five minute long interview between the fifty-eight year old and the fourteen year old is... awkward, pretty much the whole way through, as the interviewer does her best to empathise with the weight of nearly six decades of a life she could not possibly comprehend. She agrees with statements on adversity in childhood and throughout life, dressed in designer clothes at 14; she asks what Tyson thinks of Jake Paul, who responds that he just thinks "he's very funny". In a question about legacy, Tyson responds bluntly "who the fuck cares about me when I'm gone. - I'm dust. I'm nothing." Tyson does not care about who his opponent is, or why he's fighting, or even seemingly what comes next. When Mike Tyson stepped into that ring he stood for nothing at all; when Jazlyn Guerra heard his fatalism she simply accepted it; and Jake Paul can say "I beat Mike Tyson!". Apathy, marketability, a legacy of vanity. That is what we teach young people in the modern day.

So when you see Donald Trump choosing the most "memeable" people possible for his cabinet - when you see the most powerful person in the democratic world slotting their country in as a cog in the machine that is mass-media consumption - "brainrot" is truly the most appropriate word for his decision making. The President of the United States has been determined by how much money he generates for media corporations, while the populations of the Western world become less and less savvy to nuance and complexity; all while the concept of "legacy" is eaten away by a pervading sense of apathy present in every online space, even in spite of generation-spanning crises regarding climate change, the capitalist system, and global inequality.

None of this is coincidental. It has simply been determined that nuance isn't profitable; that even skill isn't profitable.

This is the age of ad revenue.

[richea]

4 and 5 for the meme

Tales asks

4. Something you wish to see in future games

A lot of this I'll answer in #5 but to keep things positive I'll just list actual wants up here. Though for some reason my brain is only coming up with character concepts right now haha.

I'd like to see another female protagonist of course, but I want to emphasize here that I want her to feel... unique? Velvet took inspiration from Milla (I know they're very differently written but I'm talking about their base appeal here), which is fine but I'd like something different next time. (Mika exists too but her game is deader than dead...) I'd love to see a character akin to Meredy or Colette take control of the story.

I won't go into this too much on here but I would like to see more characters like Mark in Summoner's Lineage.

I also feel like we could always use more characters who are musicians; I adore Johnny and absolutely love how Tear was handled, and I need more of it! Rays Recollection had an idol character which was nice.

5. Something you hope never is used again in future games

Going to put this under the read more for anyone sensitive to criticism who might not want to see it. I will warn it's a bit strongly articulated.

Cooking/food jokes, especially when it comes to someone being bad at it. This one got old decades ago; the amount of cooking skits in Rays is almost mind-numbing and do not get me started on how it felt as if all of the "fun" skits in Arise were just about this.

I would like Tales to chill out on the "sex appeal" rage they've been on the past handful of titles. I've only heard good things about Luminaria's writing but I still haven't been able to stomach the designs enough to actually start on it, which is not good. I know the franchise has always had shades of this but it's been especially noticeable as of late, and it feels like a huge step backwards. I don't think I'll ever move on from hearing how Iwamoto pressured Inomata into designing Velvet, and my subsequent reaction when Kisara was revealed and my joy at her being a knight was immediately overridden by wondering why on earth her design had to be the way it is. It's just very wild to me when back in the day, Keele of all characters was considered one of the "hottest" Tales characters and he's designed in a way where you can't even see any part of his silhouette. I don't believe we need none of it, but I at least would like them to step back with it just a little bit.

Ufotable is a big one. I really, really do not like Ufotable's Tales work. I wrote two threads about this on Twitter (part 1, part 2). In a world where Wit was put on the mobile games, there's no reason to keep using Ufotable for mainline Tales games.

I think Ufotable was perfectly fine in the Symphonia OVA; after all, none of the anime adaptations sans the Vesperia movie were done by IG. But that's the thing―it being a spinoff media is one thing, but it being the main art in the mainline games is where I draw the line. Each Tales title has its own art identity (for instance, Phantasia's art looked different from Legendia's which looked different from Graces), but they all still tried to keep to the staple Tales style. Ufotable does not care about this. I also am just going to be honest when I say my mind registers Xillia and beyond as "different" from the games prior and it's in part because of Ufotable's art identity being so divorced from the prior art direction in the franchise. Xillia was one of the more early titles I got to, so it's not even like I had years and years of IG "bias" before playing it, I just felt like something was off when I played it. They are truly doing their own thing and it does impact how a number of fans view the games, whether a lot of people want to acknowledge this or not. For anyone on the fence or thinking I'm unreasonable or overthinking it: Production IG was literally hired by Inomata herself because they were the only animators who were capable of adapting her style correctly.

Meanwhile Wit has been putting out work that not only follows the "style" perfectly, but it's also some of the best art this franchise has ever seen, if not the best. I really, really want to see them take over for the mainline games, and I am hoping this is the angle they're going for now that we have no mobile games.

I also need series staples to come back: 2D art and victory quotes being my biggest. There is not a single part of me that can process how this was actually greenlit for Arise. The skit format doesn't bother me as much as it does for other people, but these things, I cannot bend on, because it's not stemming from "wanting to try something new" (which Tales does all the time and is how I view the skit format change), it stems from the producer wanting to make Tales appeal to literally everybody except its targeted demographic and removing the things that drew people to this franchise in the first place. I don't think a franchise branching out is bad, but when it actively makes tons of old fans, who have kept the franchise afloat for decades, start to collectively lose interest in the future of the franchise, it's not a good sign. Even if there are people who "don't care," there are people who do and will drop the franchise if the franchise stops doing all of the small things that made them love it in the first place, especially if there's no real reason to be removing said things.

...Anyway sorry I got a bit heated. I love this franchise to death, and Rays really restored a lot of lost faith I had after I wasn't super sure the franchise was going in the right direction for me in the mainline games (I know a lot of people love it but even Berseria something just didn't quite feel right to me), so I hope Bamco can take some notes from what went well in it and incorporate that in future titles. I know I did my part and did the survey they put out, asking for a number of the things I listed here.

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

4. 8. 6. 9. (tee hee)

alternatively, 14. 1. 2.

I know who you are and I hope you're feeling clever. Because you are <3

Alright, let's see.

For the ask meme here

4. Pairing that makes no sense to you?

You're coming out of the gate swinging, huh.

This is a really difficult question, because usually I can at least see where people come from. And even when I don't, I also love myself some crack ships.

Nothing really comes to mind immediately. I guess I've seen Vermouth/Akai that doesn't make too much sense to me?

8. Fandom you're a part of that's the most obscure?

There's Kyou Kara Maou (Demon King From Today!) that I love dearly. It does have an Ao3 tag though, so I guess it's not that obscure?

Hmmmm. I guess I like Ten Dance (a ballroom dancing yaoi manga) for its loving depiction of the ballroom dancing scene and the fun dynamic between the characters. That's pretty niche, let's go with that.

6. Favourite Headcanon?

I'm very fond of the Rei-as-an-orphan-in-foster-care headcanon, even though word of god kind of opposes it. It would just explain a lot of why he is the way he is.

And because picking just one is hard, have another favourite of mine: AkAm, but in particular Akai, don't have many scars. Every injury sustained is one they cannot really afford (makes them weaker, takes time to recover, etc etc.), and so mission planning would be very important. I think they're simply too capable to have many scars at all. (Makes those few they do have that much more important). Rei probably does have a few more than Akai, because he's more exposed to the frontlines and keeps throwing himself into danger, while Akai keeps his distance. Being an archer sniper and all.

9. Fandom you're a part of that's the most well-known?

I would count the number of fics on Ao3 as a metric, but I'm pretty confident I don't need to in order to figure out it's One Piece (by a landslide).

DCMK is also massive, but I don't think it could hold a candle to OP.

.

This is fun, so I'll also do the other ones.

.

14. Fandom you keep returning to?

The fandom cycle is a strange and incomprehensible thing, but usually once something has touched my heart, I'll always return sooner or later. (Unless I age out of a fandom - I'm not a teen anymore, and it is somewhat awkward reading about them, so I don't.)

Best example for this is probably One Piece as well; I've known it since I was about 6-8 years old, and I always come back to it eventually. It's just that good. (Though I mostly return to the series and barely read fanworks, these days.)

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

Depends how one defines being a part of fandom, I think.

The first fandom I can remember reading fanfic of was Yu-Gi-Oh, though odds are One Piece or OHSHC are my actual firsts.

The first fandom I owned merch of was One Piece.

The first fandom I wrote fanfic for was One Piece as well (a terrible Christmas gift fic for a friend who nevertheless enjoyed it; but I promised myself I would never again write fanfic. And now look where you got me almost a decade later, anonymous asker who I shall not name).

The first fandom I made fanart for was Disco Elysium.

2. Most recent fandom you joined?

I guess the most recent one would be Ghost Trick.

Before that, does the AkAm subfandom count? Because it doesn't really have a lot to do with the rest of the DCMK fandom.

And before that, the last one that really held me in a grasp was Disco Elysium.

.

That was fun, thank you for asking, mysterious not-stranger <3

[penroseparticle]

Hiiieeeeeeee. I heard you like v-games.

3. Favorite boss?

15. Hardest game you’ve ever played?

19. A game that you wish you could play for the first time again.

25. Favorite environment in a game?

40. Best game cover art.

I went back in my inbox and there are some asks I haven't answered, clearing things out. So throwback meme!

3. Favorite Boss:

I'm partial to Facade from Link's Awakening. I think he's simple, he's memorable. He comes at a part of the game where you learn a very big revelation. The music for The Face Shrine is stunning, and really does something interesting considering the Ballad of the Wind Fish isn't a part of the song despite being part of the other dungeons' music. I like that Facade isn't an enemy you can fight with a sword. I like that his name means edifice, and he's the floor aka part of the building, but also mask, and he's a face. I like that he comes when you have to decide between dream or reality.

Can you tell I did a Zelda deep dive a bit ago?

15. Hardest Game You've Ever Played?

This is a tough and interesting question- what's a hard game, after all. Do I play hard games? I don't know if that's something I do. I like fiddly or intricate games. But I'm not sure I play hard games- I get frustrated easily. I guess I do play hard games, but they have to onboard you really really well. You have to feel like it's hard but achievable right? Like you're struggling but you could succeed.

I might say Desktop Dungeons. Simple concept, really intricate execution, technically not hard at all, but the Tower of Ga'antalet is still not cleared on Vicious on my save file, and I followed that game from Alpha to Beta to release to Rerelease with better graphics. My account is like a decade old. Maybe I'm dumb. Or maybe I just need to drill in and practice, because I've cleared almost everything else.

19. A game that you wish you could play for the first time again.

Final Fantasy Tactics. It's my first major game. Introduced my love of turn based strategy. Great story, rich execution. Broken as hell and glitchy, but in a fun way. Tons of side content but plenty of room to be expanded. I wish I could go through it the first time all over again, not knowing what was next, what was important, how to play correctly. The struggle was fun. I remember getting creamed on Dorter Trade City, like every new player. I remember thinking the Desert Map was crazy. I remember not playing the game for like 3 weeks when I got to the rooftop with Rafa because it was IMPOSSIBLE (Ok maybe some bits of the game aren't that great. Fix Rafa's AI so that's not a roulette ok thx).

Favorite Game. Excellent content. Gonna play it again right now probably.

25. Favorite Environment in a Game?

God I really, REALLY like the setting in FFXII, but particularly I like the Rainy Season Giza Plains. I just have such fond memories of that area, and the Wild Hunts are fun. It's early, it's accessible, its somehow new and exciting because it introduced weather as something that you have to care about. I like Phon Coast too but it's a bit too sparkly, and I also like the Salikawoods too. Just a great game for environments imo.

40. Best Game Cover Art

Ask me this in 5 minutes and my answer will change. I think it would be really funny to say Triangle Strategy (Hello most generic cover art and name of all time. Great game, but TERRIBLE marketing). I think today I'm going to go with Celeste- because it's nostalgic for me. It's cute.

[bells-of-black-sunday]

𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 !

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : Spük / Spuk / Spooky, whichever is easier

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 : He/Him | They/Them

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : Tumblr ims to start unless we're already talking then it's discord. It's just easier to reach me there, but unfortunately I keep it pretty private due to really bad experiences in the past. Though if our muses are already connected through egg, you are more than welcome to ask for it too!

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄(𝐒): Everyone in my doc who I will not be typing out, because that's way too tedious, but primarily Tarhos Kovács / The Knight, Danny Johnson / The Ghostface, Karthus / The Deathsinger, and a few ocs. In the past I've written a human, normal, and bloodmoon Thresh / The Chain Warden before Rito ruined my love for him, Galaxy Xayah, Pyke / The Bloodharbor Ripper, Vladimir / The Crimson Reaper, Sylas / The Unshackled and an old kid league oc when I first started writing on tumblr.

𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 / 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 ( 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐒 / 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ) : I've been roleplaying in general starting on R.oblox when I was 9 or 10, then moved to D.eviantart, then to S.kype and then finally to T.umblr when I was like 13 I think? 12 or 13. So over a decade pretty much, almost a decade on T.umblr itself which is wild.

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 : By far meeting Egg, we've been dating for 7 months now and they're a very big part of my life that I am very excited about. I'm very passionate about everything they do and every time we hang out it's a highlight of my night. I'm so excited to be moving closer to them next year, so that we'll hopefully be able to hang out more regularly in person than just one trip I'm planning in April. I will never not hype up Egg and their work, they're so talented and genuinely just such an incredible person.

𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒 / 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐒 : Something that's always bothered me since the time of themes being popular, but I feel like is still a really huge issue with docs and carrds becoming the main way we tell our muse information is accessibility. I'm sorry, but if I can't read anything about your blog I'm not following you, if your formatting gives me a headache and I don't even have vision issues you really need to rethink how you're writing, if I can't tell what your icons are even supposed to be because they're 5x5 px and crusted out the ass that they look like a single pixel that's not an aesthetic babe that's a bad early 2000s webpage. Of course there's also certain fandoms I won't touch with 10ft pole, but generally the biggest thing I've soft blocked people over is accessibility, because I don't care if you write fandoms I don't care for, but I sure as hell don't want to interact with people who think their aesthetic is way more important than just being accessible when most writers I've written with have some sort of visual processing disability and they're all fucking incredible.

Oh and if you have anything relating to not interacting with female muses or ocs in your bio i'm hard blocking you, but I think that's self explanatory.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅, 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓, 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 : I do really like fluff, but I really enjoy angst with all types of interactions just due to the nature of muses I have on this blog. Smut I have to be in the mood to write which is why there can be no smut for months on my blog and then I drop a 600 word reply randomly at 6 am.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒 : While I do enjoy plots and will happily plot with anyone, I just think memes are easier. They're something I can easily type up a response for instead of someone having to wait for me to be in the right mood to write and not be busy (especially with the holidays coming up) and just be waiting for a starter. I promise I don't mean to be slow with things, adhd just has massive fucking hands that it grabs me with sometimes!

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 : Genuinely the shortest replies I will do for anything that's not a one-off joke interaction are 1-2 paras, I hate writing single sentence rp it doesn't give me enough to work off of. By that extension I prefer long replies depending on what it is of course, someone cooking in the kitchen with someone else doesn't need 6000 words obviously, but I do like me some writing inner monologues.

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 : I get the most motivation at times when I should be asleep which is as funny as it is me getting to bed super late at ungodly hours, but because of that I don't expect replies immediately. I even tend to just queue things when I do write, because with how awful t.umblrs notifs have been recently, it gives it a better chance that my partner will see it!

𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄(𝐒) : I'm out here hitting all my muses with my trans-beams to fill my government assigned quota for the lgbt agenda to be honest. But in all seriousness, I think everyone tends to put a tiny bit of themselves into every muse they write and that's what makes rp so much fun!

Tagged by: No one, I stole it from someone who I can't remember because this has been sitting in my drafts for so long-

Tagging: No one, because idk who hasn't been tagged

[kineticpenguin]

Re: guns as an investment.

Ian at Forgotten Weapons has a pretty good video why a gun collection is a "store of wealth" at best, rather than a way to make money. It's a pretty good and fairly nuanced video.

There are some pitfalls he didn't quite get into that I'd like to touch on. I think he's a bit nicer about the topic than I tend to be.

There's a certain stereotype of guy at a gun show, the boomer with an unimpressive gun or collection of guns he wants to sell off for way too much money, and refuses to haggle because "I KNOW WHAT I GOT!" Well, viewing your guns as an investment will turn you into that guy faster than anything.

One huge pitfall is basically in line with his Ian's commentary on commemorative guns: Custom guns will almost certainly be sold at a loss. Custom means it was specified to your tastes, not necessarily anyone else's. Yeah, you know what you got. Nobody cares.

In a similar vein, paying top dollar for something high-end now doesn't mean it'll be worth much in a decade or two, especially for military-style stuff. What was hot shit at the start of the GWOT is broadly considered laughable now. Fads and "meme rounds" happen: The late 2000s saw the Resurrection of 10mm, now these days barely anyone talks about it outside of dealing with bears. .300BLK seems to be on its way out as well, and I suspect 5.7mm, despite NATO adoption and this latest push to relevance, won't last very long in the civilian market either. We just get too much of what we need already from 5.56 and 9mm to spend the extra bucks for these pricier, more niche rounds... and the guns that fire them. And the irony is, there are too many of these guns made in these weird calibers for them to ever become hard to find for the foreseeable future, further depressing their value.

Then there's the stuff like high-end $1911s. Unless you keep that thing sitting pristine in your desiccated safe, you're losing money on it. Why would I pay you $5000 for an old one with holster wear when I can throw that at Nighthawk and get the new gun smell for the same price? (Full disclosure: I don't think anyone buys these guns for any reason that should be taken seriously.)

In conclusion:

[milo-kun]

Today is not a good day for my drawing mental health. I have been struggling for just over a year now and I'm kinda shocked at what I'm going through, im speechless as to what I see.

I've been asked many times why I often blame others or say it's someone besides me when I get this upset. And you know what? It's because I'm trying when others aren't. I tried to work, I tried to draw, and I tried to learn. I've been drawing since I was in 11th grade! I'M 33! Yet when I ask for help, I get the same old "practice, practice, practice." No shit Sherlock I've been practicing for 20 years!

I've been burnt out... no, you know what? im not burnt out. I'm burnt! My hands are burned, and they aren't healing. I have reached out to people I trust and people who i know think of me as an annoyance. So far, the only advice I got that was helpful wasn't even art advice! It was mental health advice! I got told to go slow, let the drawing happen, and dont let it get me down. That helped, but you know what didn't help? "I dunno, take time for yourself" "try something else, for a while" "when I get like this I take a break and build one of my gundams" "Have you tried asking for help?" "Have you thought about going back to school or taking some classes?" and "^^;".

I'm so burned from being told to "just do it, I did." im burned from being told its not that hard, to practice, im burned from being told to draw more. I DREW ALMOST EVERY DAY FOR 3 YEARS! AND PROGRESSED ALMOST ZERO! "Oh, but almost zero isn't zero~" Shut up! I don't wanna hear your success, I don't wanna hear how you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and did it. I DONT HAVE ANY BOOTSTRAPS LEFT! I BROKE THEM ALL PULLING MYSELF UP BY THEM! I don't wanna hear how hard it isn't, or to be told that the best time to try is now. I want someone to help heal my hands, I can't heal my hands myself because I need hands to heal my hands.

I have been left behind for years, and probably a decade of anger had finally come back and burned me. Anger, I wasn't even pointing at the people whom I care for. It was pointed in the direction to help push me forward because no one else was helping enough. "Don't compare yourself to others" FUCK YOU AND YOUR GOOD ADVICE! WHO ELSE SHOULD I PUSH MYSELF TO REACH? MYSELF?! FUN FACK IM ALREADY BESIDE MYSELF! I am filled with rage at how much the art and furry community had pushed me down and held me down. I'm not even a part of the community because of how left behind and exiled I am. Wanna know how I got some of my closest friends? You wanna fucking know? By them vouching for me! Am I grateful? Yes, am I angry about it? Also yes! Don't even get me started on streaming! It sickens me to watch some of my friends support others but won't even look at me. "Check out this amazing artist UwU" but won't support me? You come to my streams and watch quietly? Thank you, that means the world to me. No sarcasm there. You know what would help? Supporting, retweeting, reposting, helping me grow. Like you did for others, they got their success and are still praised to this day. "Have you tried taking to X?" Yes, I have, and they told me the same. Or better yet, no, I can't talk to them. They are so popular now they don't even consider me human.

I dont even name drop, I do everything as professional as possible, and I don't talk about who my friends are to impress people. I don't go talking about how I'm in this game or referenced in that comic or ANYTHING! I do what is best for everyone, and I have to light everything on fire for ANYONE to see im burning.

Oh, but we do support you, we supported you on patreon~ that wasn't support. That was stress. Look at me. I'm about to sound ungrateful! Making fun of me and abusing my ToS isn't support. Making me draw memes isn't support. Saying "I dunno just draw whatever this month" isn't support! It's degrading! If you're not gonna take my art seriously, why in God's name do you think I want to draw what you ask?

I've been left behind and surpassed by everyone younger than me. "It doesn't matter. Everyone grows at their own speed." Well, guess what? I have been growing for years now. Don't give me that shit. It's not helping ME grow. To sit here and watch people younger than me get the support I fought tooth and nail for without even asking makes me wanna throw up. It reminds me of how others want me to fail. They enjoy their luxury and free shit while I cry out to the void waiting for anyone who is interested in helping to help. "I did a great collab with X popular artist" "it was a honor to have X join me on stream" "X helped he grow and get better at art, id be no where without them" FUCK YOU I GET BLOCKED FOR JUST COMMENTING ON POSTS! No one stood up and said "hey Milo that might make you look bad," when I was just being truthful and honest. Like how I'd ask people to be with my posts and art. For fuck's sake the algorithm thinks I'm a bot on Twitter. THAT'S HOW SHOVED DOWN I AM!

One of my biggest feelings is "don't perceive me." I don't want to be noticed by senpai. I want to be helped and supported the same way others are. In the same way you helped someone get better and get enough money to work from home. The same way you partnered with a friend and helped his VN not fall to the wayside because of a friendship fall-out. I want support! I wanna feel like I belong! "Oh, but Milo, I didn't have that. I built my life with my own two hands." Good for you, way to go. That's something to be extremely proud of. No sarcasm. But have you ever heard of the saying "I crawled so you could walk" or "I went to war so you could study the arts"? Just because you suffered doesn't mean I have to, especially when im at a stressed disadvantage! I don't want to be some big-time person, I don't want only popular friends. Don't you dare blame me for your piss poor behavior in realizing you fucked me! I asked for help I asked for assistance and you poured gasoline on my burnt hands!

I'm not right, I never will be, but neither are you for pushing me down, laughing at me, watching me sink, and telling me to try harder when I was already underwater. With one last breath of air I dont dare call out for help, because that air is needed just to stay afloat.

To all who looked at me and said, "I dont know how to help." Thank you for your honesty.

[dutybcrne]

@strdstd said : [ TO THE THREAT ]: " i think it's time you were leaving. " {…Boothill for Kaeya- 👀👉👈 Maybe set after Dain takes the throne, yet him & Kae are still vibing in Khaenri’ah.} 『 Meme || Accepting 』

       ・⊱ Oh course Kaeya was well-aware he was no Dainsleif. And likely never would compare in the eye of the people–that he could tell mere moments after taking the helm of their people ( yet one more place he'd have to work his hardest to into, yet again ). Of course he was well-aware that as an Alberich, he'd deal with his fair share of dissenters and gripes about how he dealt with things–it may as well be the family tradition, Rethel had once said. No matter though; that, he could take in stride quite easily ( surely anyone would, having had his level of practice managing the Fatui and Lawrence clan on the daily for half a decade ). One way or another, by silver tongue, shadowy hand, or sword, those complaints would be dealt with, again and again. He had been more than capable of handling them and himself no matter the situation back in Mond, and he would continue to do so even now, in the Mirage.

        Yet at times, like this...well, he'd be lying if he denied utterly preening in being stood up for like this. In knowing that person was forced between a rock and a hard place; standing a mere trigger's click away from truly regretting their boldness, or being forced to bite back their damn pride and step back.

        Between Boothill's threat and the cold, razor-sharp smile Kaeya bared in hearing it...it seemed they'd acquiesce the latter option, a venomous glare in their eyes and a just as bitter mutter ( was that a 'you'll regret this' he heard just now? Oh, the fun he'll have taking care of that later- ) before they'd turn tail and part.

        Even as that person made their hasty retreat, the grin never once left Kaeya's lips. Not for a moment, as he turned his back on them without a second glance, arms wrapping loosely around Boothill's torso with a bright laugh.

        "Well, howdy there, Stranger~"

        Yes, he loved the thrill and pride in rending such responses himself, sure. Preferred to take care of such things himself, as he always had ( old habits and comforts were a pain to break ), but really letting another take the reins his stead, and with such conviction, too...well, could anyone blame his heart for stirring so?

        Especially in hearing that menacing growl underlying that already perfect voice-

        "Impeccable timing on your part," Kaeya crooned, a hand moving to grasp the front of Boothill's jacket and tug just enough to give him ample reach to bunt his head to the cyborg's. "Y'know, I was almost started to worry where my loyal guard had up and went." Ha–as if Boothill'd ever stray too far. As if Kaeya had any fear of that guy at all to begin with. Still- "I suppose I owe my hero my thanks now though, don't I?"

[izzysarchivedblogs]

Actions Speak Louder Than Words -> Accepting All Memes // sometimes, you stargaze on your buddy's roof together with pizza, and need to lay your head down, don't ya @crisispider -> rest, sender rests their head on receiver's shoulder. - for Clint

YOU EVER JUST FEEL TIRED? That's a question that's been on his mind a lot. Knows for a fact that may be the mid to almost late forty blues kicking in, when he's been doing this for the better half of two decades. The argument could be made that he has been doing this for longer. Since the day, he ran away for the circus at a crisp age of eleven. That one day could be the argument made when this started.

Not anything that had to do with the Bartons, their parents' death, the orphanage, the man who fostered them the government checks. IT WAS RUNNING AWAY TO THE CIRCUS. He could say it was further down, the day that Buck Crisholm showed up and put a bow in his hand. If there were more recent events to reference for that tired feeling, he would need more fingers on his hand to count them. Have to be a mutant.

The other question that had been on his mind was WHEN DID HE GET OLD? There's the rational, literal answers that he could come up with. Logic there being that he was human and aging was a natural process, but it was meant more than he was the second of the new avengers to ever join. He was there before there had even been more than ten avengers.

Now he looks out and sees so many teams, so many superheroes; new and old, and so many avengers out there. That's where this old feeling was kicking in. He was Avenger number seven. NOW LOOK WHOSE ALL THERE.

Clint would hate to say that, but as the years went on and decade two stretched on to whatever year he was on now; he came to prefer the smaller work, street level stuff, and vigilantism although he didn't wear a mask, which maybe he should've; should be. It's too late for that.

TONIGHT HE HAD BEEN OUT WITH SPIDERMAN. Doing a patrol, partly together and partly not, they had ended up working together and taking care of your common run-of-the-mill, NAH, SPIDEY, I'D AGRUE THESE GUYS ARE D-LISTERS, as they took down a trio of TWITTER CALLS THEM C-LISTERS and let the cops sweep them up.

There's an ache in his bones, but he's snorting at some dumb comment that Spiderman said. Clint knows the guy under the mask, one of the handful few to know; he remembers that time and asking him to unmask, everyone else had. He can only hope that leap of faith he had asked the man to take felt like it was worth it, that it had paid off, and hadn't left him with any regrets. HE GOT THE WHOLE SECRET IDENTIY THING. Wonders if he should have cared about that more himself, sometimes regrets not.

Clint would die than give that up, and he knows when he's clad in red, the only name coming out of his mouth was SPIDER. ❝ Hey, good web-slinging tonight, whaddya say my roof in like ⸻ ❞ He looks at his wrist, there was no watch. ❝ NOW, and I get a pizza on it's way? ❞ ASKED AFTER A GOOD LAUGH.

That's how they had ended up here, on his roof. His feet dangling over the edge, as he had gotten up to sit on the wide concrete half wall that served as the border of the roof top. A beer in his hand, and freshly brought up pizza. SPIDERMAN'S STILL SPIDEY and he knows he had gotten here first. ❝ SHOW OFF! ❞ He had called him when he had opened the roof door, than locked it behind him.

❝ I locked the door, no one should be able to come up here, Spidey, if you wanna breathe a little more. ❞ He informs him, knowing the rules but wanting to offer that PETER can take the load off too. It's just them, pizza, and a pack of beer. They eat, in well, neither of them are particularly silent individuals, but it's light conversation and quieter laughs.

AT SOME POINT, the other superhero leans his head against his shoulder as they sat on the roof and talk, shoot the shit, and among other things. Clint goes silent, heaves out a sigh and ever so slightly leans in to show that he doesn't mind. What are friends for if not to let off the weight on their shoulders?

There's a sigh let out, and Clint knows that it doesn't come from himself. ❝ Yeah, I feel that one too, buddy. ❞ BIG INHALE, THEN EXHALE. A sigh and he thinks their breath sinks. Let the moment sit there as looks out onto Brooklyn. He knows Pete's in Queens, but that's a ways to sling on back. Clint'll probably offer up his couch if that's too much. Grab a spare change of clothes and duffel to stash the suit; wouldn't be the first time nor the last time that someone has changed on this roof.

Head starts to turn, to look at the other hero for a moment, ❝ When'd we get so old? ⸻ You know my doctor tried to talk to me about slowing down. ❞ One of the most absurd thoughts he had ever heard of. Especially considering what all Clint had in life, which was himself, his doctor, and Kate Bishop also a superhero and Hawkeye. Why slow down, and how could he ever stop?

Look at the goddamn world, how could he stop? He couldn't, thinks he'll be using his bow and skills to fight when he's old, going blind and hearing aids won't even help him being deaf, with long silver locks of hair; still playing Hawkeye. ❝ Could you imagine? ❞ He laughs, trying to bring the conversation back up.

❝ Actually, could you imagine any doctor saying that to a speedster? ⸻ That'd be like telling you, you can't lay your eggs in webs. ❞ OH GOD. CLINT THAT'S WEIRD. ❝ Spiders do that right? ❞ At least he said that to Peter of all people, he's pretty sure that Jdrew would maim him or shove him off the roof.

Way to ruin a moment. Just going to cover up that embarrassment with a sip of his beer, try to get back on track. Shovel more pizza into his mouth.

❝ You, uh, alright tonight? ❞ Peter did, in fact, lean his head on Clint's shoulder and if that isn't some universal sign that even he with his poor friendship skills should see as maybe a sign to ask that question. HE COULD JUST BE TIRED LIKE YOU.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[sailorvinusmoved]

A thought came to me and I s2g you had rb'd a meme about sending in a scenario to make your muse feel loved (i am dumb and can't find it) but enjoy (from @maximuses ♡).

Also discord hates me lately but I DID read about Vi's cat and I'd die for her ♡

—

Their friendship had been an unexpected blessing in Michael's life. Something he didn't know, or rather would not admit to himself, that he needed. Someone who cared about him and didn't really expect anything out of him. It'd been decades it seemed since he felt that kind of way, even when surrounded by family and the friends they've made along the way.

So he wanted to return that favor. Somehow. Show Virote that he was grateful for everything and for their friendship. For the times Virote had snuck into his home and invited him out. Even if it almost gave Michael a heart attack on more than one occasion.

Michael found himself at the other's doorstep with a few treats in tow. He'd stopped by that one boba place he remembered Virote mentioning, grabbed some food, and even found himself buying a few goodies for Virote's cat. He'd heard plenty about her, but wasn't quite sure what she'd like. After all, the most Michael has done is feed the local strays. It was a little habit he'd picked up after the whole divorce, and he'd made a few feline friends that way. Hopefully Virote's little friend would like the sparkly collar and feathered toys.

When the door opened, Michael offered that signature and small smile of his.

"Hey Vi, I was in the area and thought I'd drop by. Hope you don't mind that I bought lunch."

✨ @maximuses. meme. still accepting!

He'd been distant for a few days. Sure, Virote answered his texts and he dialed up everyone's phone number. How are you? Good? I'm glad, but I have to go. I just called to see if you're well. That's about everything he said before hanging up. It was getting bad, again. This happened every now and then, like clockwork. When the depressive episodes crept in, they held him in a chokehold without much mercy spared; Vinewood didn't give a shit about that. Your emotional and mental health didn't matter in that jungle, no way.

Taking time for himself was important, but he still felt guilty that it meant he had to cut off communication from the outside world. Everything was too energy consuming. Had to get back to the basics. Get back to working out more, eat more fruit, read. Read books that sparked joy. It was time spent inward, having a moment of reflection with himself. Those days where he didn't feel the burn of studio lights were heaven-sent. All the things he could do with his downtime! Like practice smiling.

Smiling. Most people did it all the time without much of an issue. Virote watched people wander around Vespucci, grinning and smiling and laughing. The people in the business smiled, too. Insincere, dishonest, and attention-seeking. He was known for his own smile, being called one of the prettiest rising stars in Vinewood. Immaculate teeth! Brighter than a sunny day in the hills! Didn't feel like it, though. That's why he sat at his vanity, pulling up the corners of his mouth. Both index fingers on his lips, pulling back. Almost hurt.

God, he felt pathetic. Did he really forget a skill that important? It was part of his allure. Hell, even back in his old group, he was called the Thousand Watt Idol because of his smile. So... What happened?

Didn't have time to mull over that question. There was a knock on the door and he stood, throwing on his satin robe and shuffling downstairs, Kikimora following close behind in anticipation. Couldn't have been his manager, since she was out of town to attend a wedding. Didn't call for delivery, either. But, upon opening the door, he saw Michael standing there, bubble tea in hand and a few other items. The restaurant bag was one that he recognized without even thinking. It was from a little Cuban joint a few blocks down, one of the first places they went when they met. 

❝Wait... Did you bring me medianoche?❞ It was his favorite, the one thing he ordered every single time. His gaze fell to Kikimora, she was eagerly playing with Michael's shoe, pawing at it. Of course. Of course. She was a social little thing whenever she got the chance to interact with other folks. ❝And, you brought bubble tea! You remembered my order, huh?❞ Thai tea with almond jelly, light on the tapioca pearls. Of course Michael would remember it. Virote never shut up about drinking five cups whenever he was working.

The food, the drink, the little trinkets for his cat. That was the first time he was able to smile without bursting in tears. It’d been days and days and days, but Virote was finally able to manage a genuine smile. It was a tired expression, sure. His eyes didn’t betray how bogged down he felt. He was always exhausted. It felt nice, though. Happiness! A burden unloaded! ❝You didn't even tell me you were coming over! Jeeeeerk. I look like shit.❞ He hugged him, anyway. 

Then, taking a step back, he motioned for the other to come inside. ❝Thank you... Come in. We have some catching up to do. I don’t think Kiki’s gonna let you leave, so you might as well get comfy. Wanna see this script I was sent? It’s... Bad. I almost scream-laughed when I read it, so I’ll give you a dramatic reading without trying to die. But, before that, tell me about what you’ve been doing. Staying out of trouble, I’m hoping.❞ This was more like it. He missed Michael above anything else.

[flannelshirtandjeans]

Oc interview meme

I was tagged by @radbeetle (thank you!!) and took this as an opportunity to talk through ghoul Norma in the future, interviewed by some future reporter for some paper or newsletter that's happening then. I'm stuck on mobile so super apologies for long and no cut! D:

I tag: (if you wanna do it) @johnandrasjaqobis @ceilingcow @keycchan

"We are sitting down today with one of the most pivotal figures of our Commonwealth's recent history, the mysterious but beloved by many, Norma Hawke, on the little porch of her home on Spectacle Island. She is serving a drink she claims to have coined, tarberry and mutfruit and just enough alcohol to have a punch."

How old are you?

Norma looks almost startled at the question. "You know," she tells me, "I have lost count. I was 32 when I came to... this Commonwealth, and had been frozen for more than 200 years. That was in... what year is it? Oh, and I turned into a ghoul before 40. That was decades and decades ago."

What do you look like? (For any readers who haven't seen you, or pictures.)

She laughs. "OLD, the way that us ghouls do. But I like to think I still got it!" She laughs again, and continues: "I'm a ghoul, unlike some stories say, and I don't have fins and gills like a fish. I'm just an old, short, round ghoul with some of my old hair left, still brown. Lipstick on every day, eyebrows drawn. I like it, it's routine."

Where are you from?

"The past. I'm a time traveler from a Vault - no, I'm originally from a different state (IDA HAS FORGOTTEN WHICH ONE), where I lived with my parents until I moved to Boston - here - to study law. Used to live in an apartment downtown, and then up in Sanctuary Hills with my husband and baby. Our old house is still there, I think. I... haven't been in a while."

Where do you live now?

She perks up, and a moment of quiet old sadness has passed without me realizing it was there initially. "Here on this island - I moved here when my wife here died and I started working more with the Minutemen to help build a government and a better Boston." She gets up and walks me around - shows me the single room cottage with its rag rugs and quilts, the garden swing, her little garden, and the fields, and her pride and joy, the apple tree. "I always wanted to be more of a country girl when I was younger" Norma says and pats the tree trunk. "I was such a city girl in truth, even when I thought I was getting there with my husband before the war, but I think I've gotten my wish now!"

What was your childhood like?

She snorts. "Rich in money but not in anything else. My parents... had me more because it was the thing to do and some kind of a status symbol, and not because they really wanted a child and to be a good caring family. Work came first. I grew up with a long list of tutors, and little love. Thankfully it mostly only made me want to be better than them."

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

"I have worked a lot with the New Government of the Commonwealth, and the Minutemen that started building towards it. Not as much as I did, because I'm old and tired, and it's time to let them fly on their own instead of mother henning left and right there." She laughs. "I am still the highest lawmaster I suppose, but the law is working as well as it can without me too. Back in my day, when factions were more... at war with each other, I did work with the Minutemen and the Railroad, who joined forces to destroy the Institute."

Tell me about your best friend.

"There aren't a lot of people left who've been here as long as I have," Norma says, and that same quiet sadness creeps to her as before, but her smile remains. "Many have moved on, or died. But I am thankful for those who are still here. Sturges, who keeps the Castle running, and me too. He's like sunshine. We've seen each other less often of late, but try to meet at least every year on an important anniversary. To remember."

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

She shakes her head. "No. I did, but they're gone. Husband, child, and wife. The child by my own hand." This child, as we know from history, was the Institute's leader, "Father". "His name was Shaun," Norma says. "I always found that whole title creepy."

What about a partner or partners?

"Gone as well - I don't have anyone now, and my heart is probably too frail to fall in love again, truthfully. Jay was my first husband, a big red-headed shepherd from Maine, the sweetest man I ever met. And then there was Ellie (editor's note: Ellie Perkins, author of such crime thrillers as "The Ghost of Goodneighbor") after the war, the wittiest most amazing woman-- and I buried them both. I've had... flings. Friends with benefits. But I don't think I can bury more partners." Who these friends with benefits are, she won't say.

Who are your enemies, and why?

"There are people who don't like the new government, and understandably blame me for it, me being the only one left was such s big part of establishing it. I don't think I have any real enemies though. Any that I had would be... also mostly dead."

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

"I steered mostly clear of them when I first came here. I have never been a big fan of such... military structures, and even less after seeing how much my husband hated his time with the army at the time. After joining forces with the Railroad, and knowing the Brotherhood's dislike of synths, the safest course was to avoid them, and try to keep them away. There were other tensions as well, with them and the Minutemen too. The Brotherhood's blimp was blown from the sky with their leaders at time shortly after the Institute explosion, and there's a lot of stories going around saying that was me too, but I didn't have anything to do with it, I was in too much shock from the Intitute alone to even think of something like that. But their leadership changed after that and now what's remained of the Brotherhood here needs to co-operate with the New Government, and has. I still don't like them much, but they're not causing too many problems, and have been... forced to readjust their thinking a little."

When asked about who she thinks was responsible for the blimp explosion, she only says "I have a pretty good idea", and refuses to elaborate.

What about The Enclave?

"I have heard of them, but don't know much about them, truth be told."

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

She shrugs. "Depends on the person, same as anyone else! I used to be afraid of them when all I'd seen was the groups that'd go around raiding and eating people, running around with mininukes - and feel sorry for them after learning about the FEV. But so much has happened since, and a lot of humans I saw at the time weren't really any different. Just smaller. Things are better now, at least some."

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

Norma laughs. "Oh! I've been in so many fights! Hmm." She stops to think, looking across the water to where the blue Minuteman flag flies above the Castle. She laughs again and says: "never thought as a girl that I'd end up with so many war stories. But here's one: once in one of the old hospitals, there was a band of raiders that had trapped a deathclaw on the bottom floor and used it to stage cage fights. I'd... cleared the raiders - they had... taken over a Railroad base and killed the agents there, and I wasn't looking to avenge them as much as see qhat had happened, and had no intent to deal with the deathclaw... But my dog slipped into the pit, thankfully without alerting the deathclaw immediately, so off course I had to go after him. Ended up on top of some cages down there, knocked off BETWEEN them where the deathclaw couldn't reach me and wandered off deeped into the bottom floor... I was pretty sure I would die right there but me and my companion managed to JUST kill it before it got to any of us."

(I guess that answers the next question:) Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

"I have! More if them than I care to count, truth be told - I've had to travel through the Glowing Sea more than once, and once fought a park full of mutation of them that had some alligator in them! I think... a deathclaw was one of the first things I fought after I woke up here, outside of bugs. Just in Concord, right outside Sanctuary Hills."

Do you like fighting?

"I don't. I may gladly tell stories of victories past because they make good stories and because some of those need to be remembered, and learned from so they don't happen again - but I don't want to sound like I enjoyed it, or wouldn't rather have solved the situation without a fight."

What’s your weapon of choice?

She grimaces. "Pistols. Sniper rifles. I'm not strong or dexterous beyond being able to sneak well, so I need the advantage of the distance. I used to hate the sniper rifles because I felt like I wasn't giving whoever I was aiming at a fair fighting chance, it felt... so impersonal. I don't know, I alway hate killing people anyway, it just came with some additional guilt."

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

Norma shakes her head. "Not brute strength for sure. I'm a lawyer still, even under all the things I've become since, and my first and foremost resort is always wits and charm, I think. It doesn't always work, obviously but I think... it has worked best for me so far."

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

Norma shifts uncomfortably, and dips inside for a minute, coming back with an old frayed and battleworn vault suit with golden number 111 on the back. "That's why I'm here," she says, and for the first time sounds almost dark. "The vault 111 was supposed to be my new home when the bombs fell, but they froze us instead, and I've learned of many other horrifying experiments happening in other vaults as well. It's VILE. I still can't go into a vault without seeing my husband being shot in the head, and my baby being stolen. I hate it. I don't go into them anymore if I can help it. I'm glad that communities can flourish in them now, I know Sanctuary has built their winter home in 111, but there's too much trauma in them for me."

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

Norma gestures at herself. "Obviously, I think -- turning into a ghoul was... awful, and painful, and disgusting, but I'm lucky to have had wonderful loving people around me at the time. I don't think I would be as happy in myself as I am now if it hadn't been for them. But even before I became a ghoul, radiation... did strange things to me, or I think it was the radiation? I didn't get skin reactions from swimming like everyone else, and eventually I started growing skin between my fingers, like webs?" She shows me her hands and spreads the toes on her bare feet to show me, and indeed she has some webbing there. "They took some damage from the ghoulification And then I found that I could breathe underwater. Some kind of a mutation, I think. The rads may have done their damage invisibly all that time though, all the swimming, the ghoulification came on so suddenly and without an apparent event that triggered it."

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

"I am always a fan of cats - does that count? I am so relieved that they are still around. I got my first cat here from Ellie when I'd just turned into a ghoul, and I haven't been without since. If it DOESN'T count, I really like radstags, they're beautiful in their own way."

What's your least favorite wasteland critter?

"Bloodbugs. Bugs in general."

How do you feel about robots?

"Depends on the robot again! Some of them are really stuck in their old programming and are hard to interact with because of that, but others are great! Codsworth - bless his metal heart - tended to my roses for centuries while I was gone! He's like family to me."

How many caps do you have on you right now?

"I couldn't say, truth be told. I have some savings, but not as much as some people say I do. I get a comfortable living, but I would without caps, too. The Castle likes to send stuff over, they keep good care of their grandma ghoul."

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

Norma shrugs. "Usually don't drink them! Nuka Cola is noce for marinades."

Do you do chems?

"As a habit, no. Sometimes for aches, and sometimes if I need a stim. But I've never really been much to use them beyond just that."

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

Norma nods, and is quiet for a moment. "I don't... think that a day goes by without me thinking of that time. There's just... sovmany convenience items that I end up missing, or animals, or people. I don't tend to dwell, not anymore, it's past and won't change what is now, and I'll only hurt if I think about it too much. These days it's easier though, mostly nostalgia. I have found a good life here."

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

"I--" Norma falters and for the first time she looks truly fragile. "I wish... I regret that I couldn't be a mother to my son. That was entirely out of my hands, but I do regret it." She wipes away a tear and tries a laugh. "There are so many things I wish I'd done differently with him here, and keep wondering if I could have reached him somehow... If this could have gone differently. I don't know. I try to not wallow to much on what could have been done differently. It's too late to change that now."

What’s your biggest achievement?

Or what do you hope to achieve?

She wipes away her tears. "Ahh, this is easier. I'm... The Commonwealth now? I'm proud that I've been a part of building it towards a much safer and more prosperous place to live. But most of ask, I think? I'm proud of the library. That's something that me an Ellie built together, it was... like a proof of concept for everything bigger, I suppose. And it's still a lovely, lively place now, growing every day."

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

"I want the Commonwealth to keep building. I want safety, and comfort, and sustainability. I want more connections elsewhere. And I want to know it can do that without me - I don't plan to go just yet, but I'm old and tired, and I will not be here forever. I want to be just some grandma, and let the world sort itself out. I've earned my rest, I think. And you know, I think it will happen, too. I think it will."

[sir-poopington]

TL;DR I went off on a rant on Israel and its army. Mostly about my own experiences in it and how the fuck we got here

Seriously, it's illegal to NOT join the military here. Everyone has to be in service for 2-3 years depending on gender. If you're male and pretty healthy you "get" to be a Warrior (I swear it's the official translation), meaning you're stuck in infantry, artillery, navy or armored divisions. Basically they're putting you in a year of boot camp and training whether you like it or not.

I was put in the artillery. Back then, I was proud of it. The propaganda took years to wear off. It was brainwashing, all through high school they talk about "Significant Service" and "Doing Your Part" and how being an officer will get you places, like it's not throwing away my hopes and dreams, my mental and physical health, my fucking life(!) for Netanyahu's personal, selfish reasons. And yes! Specifically him. I was drafted in December 2nd 2009, that bastard is PM since March 2009 (and probably will continue as long as he lives, and possibly even after that)

18 years old and pumped full with propaganda I wanted to become an officer, so I pushed my body wayyy beyond its limits, barely finished Sergeant's course, and then my leg gave out. Hospitals, MRIs and all, few weeks later I was back but got a more desk job and less riding-a-fucking-APC-with-my-head-sticking-out kind of job.

The thing they don't tell you all too much in high school is that when you become a Warrior (yes, that's dumb, and no. Kids don't care), is that you were also signed for being in the reserves for 24 more years after the 3 active years. 24 fucking years. Until 45. When my big brother had his bar - mitzvah, my dad was in some military operation. When my sister was born, my dad was in Lebanon, fighting a war with no purpose. When I had my bar-mitzvah, my dad was in another military operation. You can't escape from it.

I was finally out of active service on November 25th 2012. Days later, another military operation started, luckily I wasn't called back to service (they didn't need my battalion). Later I was moved to an armored division. I was also recognized as a disabled veteran (I have a card, some bad scars and missing a few tendons).

In the almost decade since I was drafted, I never fired a shot (or shell) outside of training. I can safely say that I have a 27 year no-kill-streak and it's fucking rare.

Now that Netanyahu's back in office, with some actual terrorists (our politics are among the worst), I seriously fear that they will decide to annex the West Bank and I will be sent there, with tanks and artillery. I'm not willing to kill for this country and I sure as HELL not willing to die for it. Not in the way it is now. When the civil war in Syria started and we got news of the shot that happened there. I was ready to get in there to help against Assad. But for annexing? For violently taking land from people who are in a pseudo siege (not talking about Gaza... Yet). No. I will not.

Some people are getting their passports ready, people are actually talking about leaving, hell, I tried leaving. I sent my resume to some companies in the UK. But is that the answer? We tried (and tried and tried) voting him out, but when the settlements have 170% voting (seriously, it's THAT blatant), when the votes for other parties aren't counted (yep, still real things that happened in the elections yesterday) what more can we do? What more can I do? I went to rallies and demonstrations, we were told that were boring him (again, shit that he said to our face) what can we do?!

Meme-ing about guillotines is fun, but futile. I don't think I'm ready for that. Of course, his side is perfectly fine with that, they did it already. Back in 1995. Rabin was PM, he and Arafat built the foundation of the Palestinian Authority. Peace was a tangible thing. People had hope. Netanyahu and his supporters were strictly against peace. "You can't make peace with Arabs", "A good Arab is a dead Arab" and things like that were said (and sprayed) daily. So in a demonstration that was called (for real) "Yes to Peace, No to Violence" irony struck (also 3 bullets to the back). Rabin was murdered. Not assassinated, because that takes thought and planning. Rabin was murdered right after singing (and again, I swear I'm not making this up) "A Song For Peace"

Netanyahu knew his supporters were capable. The stole the logo off Rabin's car and left a note that said something like "we can reach him like we can reach the logo" (emblem? Symbol? English is my second language and all that happened in Hebrew) in another demonstration, (this time against peace) Not was on a balcony, overlooking the crowd while they had signs with Rabin in SS uniform and a motherfucking coffin with Rabin's name on it.

After the murder, guess who became PM? Netanyahu of course! He was voted out after a few years but came back, like herpes, and never left. That scumbag killed the last chance for peace, bury it, pissed on the grave and then bombed it.

Every few years, when allegations (and literal indictments now) of corruption pop up against Netanyahu, he will start another military operation, to distract us. The crazy thing, is that it works. Every time. For ten years straight. People die because he needed to distract us. People die. People are bombed and shot. He keeps Gaza as the world's largest concentration camp to always have "the enemy" ready for when he needs it. How can a person, a human being, be responsible to the suffering of millions, knowingly being responsible for the worst living conditions imaginable (2-4 hrs of electricity per day, fresh water once a few days, total naval siege, total control of supplies going in, keeping around 50% unemployment. Just enough so they won't die out)

I hate this. I hate him. I hate what I might become if I stay. I hate that I can't leave. I hate the way this country works. I hate the rabbinate and what it did to Judaism. I. Hate. This. (Apparently the brainwashing is still there. I can't bring myself to write that I hate this country. I hate the way this country is now. That's for sure.)

Signed,

Sergeant First Class (in reserve) Liad.

רס"ל (במיל') ליעד

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