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#i don't care that she uses him and lies to him and manipulates him
sapphire-weapon · 1 year
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Real shit the real reason why I’m so excited by the idea of Separate Ways going beyond the events of RE4′s main campaign and culminating in a boss fight against Wesker is because this is an opportunity to finally decouple Ada’s character from Leon.
There was always so much potential for Ada, but the fact that Capcom has only ever hitched her to the back of Leon’s story wagon and has never let her just be her own goddamn character is probably the biggest disservice that they’ve done not just to any character in the series, but also the series itself.
Imagine a version of Chris’s RE6 campaign where Leon didn’t poke his fucking ass into it and it was just Chris going after Ada until the Carla reveal happened and pulled the rug out from under Chris without Leon softening the blow first. Imagine how much better of a story that would’ve fucking been.
I feel like this is something that Capcom has wanted to do for a while, which is why they put her in Umbrella Chronicles -- which is, to date, the single only title that Ada has ever appeared in without Leon -- but Capcom has also historically been afraid of Upsetting The Fanbase(TM), so they backed off on the idea when the response to her inclusion in UC was lukewarm at best.
The Remake team seems to be willing to take risks, so I hope this is a risk they take. I want to see Ada be her own character doing her own things -- because she has so many things going on that always, always get dropped in favor of more pointless melodrama with Leon.
It’s another huge fucking reason why I hate the ship. He holds her back SO much from a narrative and character advancement perspective. I would probably be much warmer towards the ship if the two of them really were their own separate people living separate lives that sometimes crash into each other unexpectedly -- but that’s not what the ship is. It’s what Capcom, I think, intends for it to be, but that’s not how they write it. Leon is his own independent person doing his own independent thing, but Ada very much is not. Ada does not exist in the story without him with her. And I don’t fuck with that. It makes her less of a character and more of just an extension of Leon, and Ada as a concept should rightfully be so much more than that.
I want the Remake series to branch off into its own separate timeline specifically for this reason. I want new games that have Ada doing things on her own. I want the series to show all of the shit she gets herself involved in and what the consequences are, because she is actually such a huge part of the story and is never allowed to actually be shown that way.
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vspin · 1 year
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On Act 3 and the lack of companion reactivity and dialogue.
So, I officially hit 400 hours on BG3 yesterday (no lifing it lmao) and I've been thinking about some things I wish Larian would improve or wish that they had implemented. A big thing that comes to mind is how much companion reactivity and dialogue abruptly stops in Act 3.
Act 1 really shines with companion reactivity. They always have something to say to the MC, to NPCs, or even to each other! I love the interaction after you use your ilithid powers for the first time and it's a 4 way conversation between everyone.
Then we get to Act 3 and there's such huge drop-off. Some big offenses:
Very little reaction to quests and locations. When I killed Raphael I only got comments from Astarion and Gale! Seriously?? We just survived a trip to the Hells! This happens with multiple quests
Blank faces when Durge is killed by Bhaal.
Camp is lifeless. Everyone just stands in front of their bed, There are no interactions.
In my playthrough, the Emporer admitted to my Tav he was manipulating her and didn't really care. It was bummer I couldn't talk to the other tadpole gang about it.
I remember coming across a Druid in the city. He was trying to heal a tree. So I went back and grabbed Halsin because he was complaining no one in the city cared about nature or balance. So I thought surely, he would have an interaction here! Nope, nothing!
As soon as you finish a companion's personal quest that is basically the end of your interactions with them; even if you romance them.
What I'd like to see: (Disclaimer: Just my opinions. I have no expectation of any of this being added to the game)
More camp interaction between companions. Jahiera and Minsc had a great example of this. Let there be a quick cutscene of Minsc and Halsin arm wrestling. Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion drinking wine. Anything. DA:I did a great job at this. It seemed like anytime I approached someone for dialogue they were in the middle of an interaction with someone else. Or events like the card game. It brought a lot of life into the party.
More random city encounters. They did a good job with Karlach; she has interactions with the steel watcher and her friend Fitz. Would have been cool to have some of those with Wyll, maybe he meets another noble or a flaming fist and has to deal with their shock of seeing him as a devil. Or with Gale in Sorcerous Sundries (he is a famous wizard after all!). Astarion mentions he needs to keep a low profile in the taverns; what if someone called him out!
More reactions to story events.
Expand on romances a bit more. We don't need it to be a dating sim but if you finish your LI's quest early on get used to just asking for small pecks and that's it. I would like to see more romance-specific dialogue for quest reactions.
And Finally:
We needed all companions at the final battle. Everyone should have been at the main keep before confronting the brain. You should have had your final conversations with them before you all potentially die in battle. DA:O style. A passionate kiss with your LI (not a tiny little peck lmao). This was a huge exclusion.
Anyway, these are my thoughts on the matter. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
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sevilynne · 1 month
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"B—but... Snivellus is a death eater..."
Listen here, you little shit. For Severus, he got neglected by BOTH parents (and it was implied that he was abused both physically and mentally as well.), gets bullied by two boys because he wanted to go to Slytherin (who sneers back and ends up getting bullied), almost gets killed and Sirius nor Remus gets any consequences other than detention (Really? Is his life worth detention and not Azkaban?), James flexes it to Lily and Lily starts believing James over the victim, Severus accidentally calls his bestfriend a mudblood over the heat of the situation (Lily was about to smile, when James literally used scorgify in his mouth), loses the person thay cared for him the most compared to others (Which Lily isn't even a good friend, so his life is messed up), with Remus and Sirius not maturing (Sirius still calls Severus "Snivellus", and Remus and Sirius spreading lies like "Severus was jealous of James" or "Lily never hated James," when it's the other way around!!! James was jealous of Severus because he existed and Lily was his best friend!
Now his blood supremacist friends are basically recruiting him, and helping him on the way! Basically, the "bad side" is his good side! They are the only ones who "cared" for him when he needed help! He was a death eater for a reason, and people manipulating him because he was vulnerable is a reason.
The audacity of stans trying to make a hotter version of Severus—Regulus? Regulus is basically a walmart Severus but Timothée Chalamet dressed up in wizard robes! If Regulus was told as ugly, nobody would boohoo care about him.
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Y'all only hate Severus and love Regulus because J.K. Rowling never made a Marauders era movie! Regulus is basically a blood supremacist with Voldemort shrines and posters who'd call Lily a mudblood! While Severus is basically bullied on a daily basis.
You guys got to see Severus's good and bad things! Like him "bullying" children, but saved the wizarding world. Literally, maybe he targeted children, but so did Minerva! Minerva literally targeted Neville and locked him outside of the Gryffindor common room when there's an apparent psycho killer, and humiliated him infront of everyone! But we all never see that because we are in Harry's POV, she favours him—she only took points and she was apparently fair because Harry's BIASED!!! Just like how all Slytherins are portrayed because of Hagrid and Ron!!! She favours Gryffindor just like how Severus favours Slytherin, except she takes big points away (which is from Gryffindors she doesn't like) and when she's infront of the professors!
Severus is a morally grey character, and Regulus? We basically time skipped him, we skipped all of the bad things he has done while we never skipped Severus's, that's why you don't have a bad opinion about him, but really! In the Marauders timeline, Regulus was a Voldemort fanboy while Severus literally had stuff happening.
This is why you don't hate James Potter, you guys basically skipped HIS timeline and moved to Harry's, which Severus is portrayed to be this big bad bully until DH! And that's why Harry "Snape's #1 Biggest Hater" Potter's vision changed to "Snape's #1 Biggest Defender", just like how his vision changed from "My father is a great man" to "I fucking hate my own father".
But you guys are so deep into these fanfics like CR (Crimson Rivers) or ATYD (All the Young Dudes) that you all forget about canon lore! He physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, and mentally exhausted Severus! We're not throwing the SA word around, because lets think of this:
———
Lily let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but her wand being ten feet away, nothing happened.
“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. “Scourgify!”
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Lily’s mouth at once; the froth was covering her lips, making her gag, choking her —
“Leave her ALONE!”
James and Sirius looked around. James’s free hand jumped to his hair again.
It was one of the boys from the lake edge. He had black hair that fell to his shoulders and startlingly onyx eyes.
“All right, Snape?” said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.
“Leave her alone,” Severus repeated. He was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. “What’s she done to you?”
“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it’s more the fact that she exists, if you know what I mean...”
Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn’t, and neither did Severus.
“You think you’re funny,” he said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave her alone."
Behind her, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Lily was beginning to inch toward her fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.
“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, turning back to Evans. “OY!”
But too late; Lily had directed her wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood.
James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Lily was hanging upside down in the air, her robes falling over her head to reveal skinny legs and a skirt.
Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter. Severus, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though he was going to smile, said, “Let her down!”
“Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upward. Evans fell into a crumpled heap on the ground.
Disentangling herself from her robes, she got quickly to her feet, wand up, but Sirius said, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Lily keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.
“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Severus shouted. He had his own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.
“Ah, Snape, don’t make me hex you,” said James earnestly.
“Take the curse off her, then!”
James sighed deeply, then turned to Lily and muttered the countercurse.
“There you go,” he said, as Lily struggled to her feet again, “you’re lucky Snape was here, Evans —”
“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like him!" (Severus is canonically a Mudblood because he has dirty blood—Muggle blood)
Severus blinked.
“Fine,” he said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your skirt if I were you, Evans.”
“Apologize to Snape!” James roared at Evans, his wand pointed threateningly at her.
“I don’t want you to make her apologize,” Severus shouted, rounding on James. “You’re as bad as she is.”
“What?” yelped James. “I’d NEVER call you a — you-know-what!”
“[...], walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”
He turned on his heel and hurried away.
“Snape!” James shouted after him, “Hey, SNAPE!” But he didn’t look back.
“What is it with him?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.
“Reading between the lines, I’d say he thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius.
“Right,” said James, who looked furious now, “right —”
There was another flash of light, and Evans was once again hanging upside down in the air.
“Who wants to see me take off Evans’s skirt?”
———
Now, let's see if this isn't messed up. This is humiliating! Why did Severus leave his female best friend when she was being PA'd and SA'd by a male! Why did he take out his wand too late? Why is he such a coward?
Gender roles do matter in this context, no matter if Severus considers this as SA or not, it's SA and he got his pants stripped down, but it doesn't matter, he's a boy isn't he?
If this was Lily, everyone would care, but no! It's greasy, slimy, old Snape, and he's a boy.
Sirius nor James used dark spells, but they were pretty much using hexes so it doesn't matter—they are basically baby DE bullies but Gryffindors.
Stop attacking Severus and start thinking about this, because he was just a boy.
A lot of people (Not all) cared for Harry when Myrtle basically tried to SA him, why not Severus? He was stripped infront of the whole school! (Not invalidating Harry's trauma), this is just so messed up.
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a-spes · 2 months
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| DEVIOUS LIES — Part two (8.790 words).
| Summary — Anon Request — When your friend asked you out for a drink, you didn't think much about it. Yet, maybe you should've, because that night ruined your life. It has been two years, and you can't stop think about what you lost. Your job, your friends, your lover, and even your mind was left in that motel room.
| Tags & warnings — Avenger!Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader, AoS!OC x Avenger!Reader, Other Avengers, angst without comfort, cheating, mental health issues, suicidal ideations, self depreciation, mentions of SA&SH, manipulation, toxic relationship (OCxR), revenge porn, use of drugs.
| Author's notes — I don't know how I feel about that second part, i'm not sure i like it, but now it's written it costs me nothing to share. So here we are. I can just hope that I managed to convey, at least a little, the emotions I wanted to. And, most importantly, take care of yourself.
| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Part one. Part two. Part three.
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Almost a year has gone by, and it means one thing: in a few weeks, it’s going to be Natasha's birthday, again. The woman is not sure how she feels about it. She never really had a birthday before she joined the Avengers, and despite the years that have passed since, she still feels a certain awkwardness at this time of the year. Especially as the boys tended to do too much.
She could only pretend to match their enthusiasm. A slight smile spreads across her face as she takes a sip from her drink, staying silent. She has been listening to her teammates talking about her birthday’s party for almost half an hour now. She stopped trying to avoid it a long time ago, when she realized how much they enjoyed organizing this stupid party. She can deal with anything they’re going to come up with if she gets to see their smiles in exchange. Her sentence won’t last more than a few hours, but the memories are going to stick with them for eternity, and it has no price.
"Wait, you know what?” someone asked. It was Clint, and by the mischievous smile on his face, the redhead already knew that she wouldn't appreciate the next words that are going to come out of his mouth. “I think we should have the mascot come over again," he added, his eyes not leaving hers. "What? It was funny to have a cartoon version of you running around," he defended himself when he saw her glance darkening.
"You know what? Do whatever you want," she mumbled, “it’s not as if you were asking for my opinion anyway,” she eventually gave in. Sometimes, you have to know how to pick your battles, and that is one she definitely cannot win, not when all the others seem to appreciate the idea.
"That’s such a great idea!” one exclaimed, and this time it was Peter Parker, “Mr. Stark, do you think they would accept to come again?” he asked the man.
"Obviously!" Tony replied without an ounce of hesitation, laughing at the question. The man thought it was a stupid thing to ask, "she likes you too much to miss your birthday,” he explained, pointing at the redhead while saying those words. "What? She pretends it’s not true, but I know she is lying. I can see right through her and, believe me, she’ll be here,"  he explained when he noticed the confused looks of his teammates.
"Who’s she?" a voice asked, cutting short to Tony’s rambling. That’s the question that has been on everyone’s minds, but that no one dared to ask out loud, except for one of them — And it hasn’t been Natasha, it is Steve that spoke first.
On the contrary, the woman remained silent because she didn’t need words to express herself, a silent conversation taking place between the billionaire and her through a simple glance. Even if she already has her suspicions, and is almost sure that she knows the answer to that question, she wants him to say it, refusing to believe it otherwise.
The moment she saw the box, she was intrigued by it, something drawing the woman to the small package that no one claimed as theirs. It’s almost as if it came out of nowhere, no one knowing who left it here, or what may be inside the black box. At first, she thought it was some joke, but she knew they were being honest when saying they had nothing to do with the gift. And if she had expected a lot of things to be wrapped in the red ribbon, she definitely wasn’t ready for a ghost from her past to emerge from it.
A quick glance before she suddenly closes the box again, that’s all it took for the redhead to know who was behind that gift. The only thing she could think about was how — How did it happen without any of them noticing your presence? Despite the appearances, and the smile she was trying to keep on, the woman was shaken — Why would you do that, more than two years after your break up? Could it be that you are that desperate?
"Is everything okay?" Clint asked, being the only one to seem to notice a change in Natasha’s behavior. At least, everyone had enough restraint to not ask the question that burns their lips — What’s inside the box?
She wouldn’t have answered if one of them had asked. She wouldn’t even have opened the gift if she had known that it was from you, and that’s probably why you left it on the table, avoiding giving it to her directly. Smart girl, she thought. At first sight, the woman couldn’t tell it was coming from you but there was no doubt remaining once she saw the content — There is only one person on Earth that cares enough to give her such a gift. A person that constantly looks after her, guessing what the redhead wasn’t telling.
A person that she used to love. 
A person that couldn’t be here, was she? The woman can’t help but glance around but she can’t find your face. What was she expecting anyway? To see you in the corner of the room with a bright smile and your arms open for her to throw herself in a hug? That was stupid, and so is the hint of hope she felt when she opened the box. The others told her many times she has to turn the page, but she doesn’t seem ready to let you go. Even after two years, she is still craving your presence as much as before.
The thought of it puts to shame the redhead who knows she shouldn’t hold on to the past, especially when the past in question has a pretty face and breaks her heart. Even after what you’ve done to her, she has spent hours crying, praying for you to come back. Even after listening to the others assuring her that she deserves better, she couldn’t forget how you’ve always been the most caring, and strong, and beautiful person she has ever met in her life. 
You weren’t horrible. Were you? 
Sometimes, she thinks you are a monster. 
Sometimes, she thinks she is, for not listening to you that day. 
That day, she let her anger speak for her, something she swore she would never do again. When she started to realize that, maybe, she should’ve listened to your version of the events, it was too late. At the time, she couldn’t bear to hear the sound of your voice or see your voice, but after two years, as the memory of it starts to fade away, she surprised herself to miss it. 
Except that Fury had refused to tell her where you were. She tried to ask nicely, to beg, and even to threaten the man, but none of it worked. He said that you needed time, that you’ll be back when you are ready, not before. Despite her frustration, the woman accepted it. After all, she is the one to blame, the one that puts herself in such a situation. She could only hold on to the fact that, one day, you’ll be back. Right? As the days go by, the likelihood of ever seeing you again is gradually diminishing. Some nights, when she can’t sleep, she stays up, eyes fixed on her laptop’s screen — Maybe she could give fate a helping hand? She knows she could find you easily. Yet, despite her urge to do it, she has always ended up closing her laptop without starting the research. 
She has to trust Fury, she repeats to herself. Even if she sometimes disagrees with the man, even if it’s frustrating, she has to believe him when he says that you are safe.
Some other nights, all she can feel is anger, and hatred. The redhead is lost, and scared, again, something she never thought she would feel again the day you two met. What if it was true, and you really cheated on her? Then, you could do it again if she forgives you, because history always repeats itself, and you are no exception to the rules of the universe. She knows how people tend to promise a lot of things that they don’t mean, especially when they are desperate, which is exactly what you’ve been that day. She couldn’t forget the look on your face when she dragged you out of the building, the despair in those bright eyes, glistening with tears. This is the only thing she can remember when she thinks about you. Not the good moments you’ve shared, only the brutality of the end of your relationship. 
You've abandoned her, and so did she.
It has been three since she last saw you, and almost a year since her birthday party, but the woman couldn’t stop thinking about it. She didn’t take the gift, leaving the jewelry in the box, and the box on a shelf. She hasn't touched it since. How could she when just the sight of it was already too much to bear?
Every day, when she wakes up, it is one of the first things she sees, and one of the last when she goes to sleep. If it doesn’t feel right to the woman to take the gift, it doesn’t feel right to throw it in the bin either, so it stayed here as a constant reminder of what she has done. Every time she thinks she is finally over it, the box rekindles her doubts. There are some things she can’t quite understand about the situation, and why you would give her such a gift, two years after she kicked you out, is one of them.
Maybe it was a poisoned gift. Maybe it was a sick trick to make her feel guilty, a way to get her to crawl back to you. Beside these possibilities, she couldn’t think of any others that were likely, and she was afraid to admit that your plan was working. The box was a permanent reminder of your existence, something she couldn’t get herself to give away because of those dumb feelings she was experiencing. Somehow, she was holding on to that last piece of your years together after she threw away everything else with the help of the team.
The pictures, the clothes, the gifts, even your favorite cutlery has been burned a few days after you left them. It is almost as if you’ve never stepped a foot into the building, as if you’ve never existed. The woman was fine with the idea of pretending that nothing happened — She was fine with the idea of erasing every remaining part of your relationship.
Except that black box. It is stupid how she hangs onto that last proof of the relationship she once had with you. She had burned everything, but she couldn’t get herself to do the same with that gift. Maybe because she knew that she could never erase you completely from her life. She surely could pretend, it is a game she is really good at, but you would always be on the back of her mind because memories don't go away as easily as objects do.
Since she had opened the box, doubt had been creeping inside of her — What if? What if she has been wrong the whole time? What if she should have listened to you? Give you a second chance? That day, her reaction had been dictated by anger and hatred, feelings that still inhabit her soul, but have faded over the years. For two years, she had been sure that she made the right choice — At least, that’s what everyone kept telling the woman, and she listened to their comforting words.
But since she opened the box, she was no longer sure of anything. She wasn’t the one that wanted you gone in the first place. She surely needed a bit of space before being able to talk with you properly, but only a few days, maybe a few weeks, not two years, and definitely not more than that. That little box only worsened her doubt because who would be desperate enough to still cling to the person they betrayed, years after the events? A person truly in love. She had kept her doubts for herself before that day. If she is almost sure of the identity of the person who gave her the box, because there is only one person on that planet that cares enough to gift her something so meaningful, there are still a lot of questions to which she doesn’t have the answers — For example, how did you manage to sneak into the building without everyone knowing? She now knows that someone knew the whole time.
“Tell me,” she firmly asked the man, leaving little room for discussion.
No one pointed out the thing he has said about the mascot, the subject of the conversation quickly changed after that. Except, while they were talking about which flavor the cake should be, Natasha could think of nothing but Tony’s words — “She likes you too much to miss your birthday”, “she pretends it’s not true but I know she is lying.” So when everyone eventually decided to go back to their rooms, around two in the morning, she stayed a bit longer in the common room in hope of getting some information.
“Sorryy, I can’t, I don’t know anything,” the man replied, indifferent to her tone, “anything at all,” he repeated, chuckling like a child who has done something wrong. 
The woman sighs, pinching her nose as she takes a deep breath, trying to not lash out her frustration on the man. The conversation isn’t exactly going the way she had hoped, Tony refusing to answer her question no matter how many times she has already asked. She even tried to blackmail him, but he was persistent in pretending that he didn’t know anything. When he almost falls on the ground trying to get a few steps back, it has been the last straw for the woman. Gladly, someone entered the room before she could hit him so hard that it would have sobered him in an instant.
"Is everything okay?" the voice asked, and both of them immediately shut up to turn their heads toward the woman who just entered the room, Astrid. She is leaning in the doorway, her gaze alternating between Tony and Natasha.
She hates her. Not as much as she hates you, but she still feels resentful toward the agent. When she smiles, when she speaks, even when she is just here, existing, the woman can’t help but hate her from the depths of her heart. Gladly, she rarely sees her, as an agent of the S.H.I.E.L.D., she is only around when they have outstanding missions. If Natasha had a choice, she would’ve thrown her away with you that day. 
"She wants me to admit that her girlfriend was the one in the costume," he immediately replied, "but sshht, we can’t let her know that!" he added, holding his index finger in front of his mouth for a few seconds before leaving the room giggling. 
"I know what happened," she eventually said when she noticed that Natasha was about to leave after a few seconds when they glanced at each other in silence. "Th- That night, in the motel room~," she added, her voice being hesitant. Those words made the redhead stop in her tracks.
"If you're about to rub in my face how you've ruined my life, you can shut up," she immediately cut her, not wanting to listen to the woman, not if it’s to tell her about how she fucked the woman she loves. Her voice was full of anger, just like the murderous look in her eyes. The only thing that prevented the woman from immediately leaving the room was the thing she saw in the other’s eyes. Her attitude betrayed her emotions, a mix of guilt, sadness, and shame, which aroused her curiosity. 
With a nod, she ordered her to continue.
That morning, as many others, you are woken up by your girlfriend’s gentle touches, her fingers slowly tracing circles on your stomach. A hum of satisfaction escapes your lips before your turn around, nuzzling your head further into the crook of her neck.
How could you have known it would be the last time? How could you have possibly guessed that the routine you’ve got used to would be broken so quickly?
Every morning, it is the same thing, and while the former spy has no problems getting up early, you definitely can’t say the same for yourself. She is always awake before you are and, even if she had never admitted it, you are sure that she takes a few minutes to observe your sleeping form. She loves seeing you so peaceful and calm, being able to have a glimpse of your face without those worry lines, without the marks of your anxieties. 
She is always the one who wakes you up, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. There is no better way to start a day than Natasha’s sweet words and caresses. It’s her fault if you never want to get out of bed, wishing every morning that you could stay in that bed, next to her, for the rest of your life. Sometimes, you suggest that you tell the others you are sick, just to spend a day together, but she just laughs, dismissing your idea.
But all the good things must come to an end, right?
"It's time to get up, milaya," she softly said in your ear, her breath tickling your skin, "Astrid won't be happy if you are late again," she added when the only answer you gave her was a groan of discontent.
"They won't say anything if I am late once, it's okay", you mumbled, her words not being enough to convince you to leave the comfort of her arms. 
Especially when you realize that there is nothing to get excited about the day ahead of you, in perspective, only hours spent in an office, listening to men who think they know everything better than you do. Today, you are supposed to attend an important meeting alongside Astrid, and you still don’t know why you volunteered. The thought of the paperwork and the efforts that you will have to put in pretending that you are actually happy to be here definitely don’t worth your pay.
Except that you’ve lied to Natasha, and she knows it. This is definitely not the first time that you are being late, it happens almost every day, to the point that the day you are in time can probably be counted on your hands. Gladly, when you are coming in the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters, it's Astrid who’s your supervisor, and she appears to also be your best friend. Most of the time, she is kind enough to accept to close her eyes on your delays. Today, you came in only ten minutes late, and the woman was somehow impressed, expecting you to be later than that.
“You’re late, again,” she replied, obviously waiting for an excuse that you don't have. She would know if you are lying to her, and you don't have the energy for that kind of game today, and you could see that the woman neither. She was starting to get tired of every day starting with the same bullshit coming from your mouth.
“I am so, so, sorry,” you said to her for what may be the tenth time since you’ve entered the office. She is walking fast, and you are trying to catch up with the black-haired woman, who is also your superior within the S.H.I.E.L.D. “Please, don’t tell Fury,” you begged, but all she did was roll her eyes, and give you a file when you eventually reached her office. You quickly glanced at it before closing it again, your attention focused on the woman, “Astrid, I am serious. He is going to give me more paperwork if you do. Or worse. Imagine if he forces me to train the new recruits, you know I can’t do that again. Please, …,” you added, looking at her imploringly.
“And what do I have in exchange?” she sighed, turning around to look at you, one eyebrow raised. Despite her serious expression, you know she was trying to not laugh. She may be your boss, but above all she is your friend, and you both know that she would never tell Fury about your delays. Even if she has threatened you to do so a few times in the past, she has never actually done it. Yet, this time she felt like she needed something in exchange, she had covered for you enough time for free, and you were happy to thank your friend with whatever she may want.
“Anything you want!” you replied, desperate but no less honest. 
“Tonight, after work, you pay me a drink, deal?” she asked after pretending to think for a few seconds. In reality, she already knew what she wanted from you. She has thought about asking you out since the moment you met, something you’ve never noticed, always reducing her to the role of a friend, and not keeping up on the clues she was leaving you. Tonight, however, she will be clearer than she has ever been.
“Deal!” you immediately said, accepting the proposal without thinking twice about it. "Thank you. Thank you so, so much. You are the best," you added, kissing your friend on the cheek before leaving the room quickly, a sight that made the woman chuckle.
It is a deal that makes you both happy. You have met Astrid at the Academy, when you were both trainees that dreamed of joining the S.H.I.E.L.D. without even knowing if you were good enough for that. The two of you quickly became close — That’s the kind of thing that happens where you are the only two females of your promotion. Either you hate each other over your dead bodies, or you grow so close that you become inseparable. 
Except that, since you've both achieved your dreams and joined S.H.I.E.L.D, something changed in your relationship. It wasn’t your fault, nor hers, that you had less time to see each other, your jobs taking a lot of your time and energy. Then you've been assigned on a long-term mission with the Avengers, and you’ve spent less time at the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters despite still working for the organization. Then you've met Natasha, and you feel like you’ve slightly grown apart from each other after you’ve announced to her your new relationship. On the whole, you had less time to spend with your best friend, and the promises to make up for the lost time have never been kept, not until today. That deal was the perfect occasion to spend a bit of time together outside of the office work.
You both really hoped that this night would make things back as they were before.
"You know, I love her," she confessed to the redhead, her voice being barely louder than a whisper as she felt tears filling her eyes. "Since the day we met, I have loved her. That's what I told her, that night, when we went out," she admitted, and Natasha felt her heart pounding in her chest, her hands were shaking with apprehension, “but she rejected me. She loves you so much, too much," she sadly chuckled, but the redhead felt no relief when she heard those words because they were not explaining the pictures. She can't cry, not now, not in front of that woman.
"Continue," she ordered, feeling that the woman had more to say than that. She already knew that Astrid loved you, you may be the only one that hadn't seen it, or maybe you were pretending, or maybe you were blinded by your love for Natasha.
"I didn't plan to do that, you know," she started, carefully looking at the spy, "but I was so desperate that night, and I-," she said, except she was unable to finish her sentence, the words stuck in her throat.
The past three years, she had kept the truth a secret. At first, she thought it was better that way. The woman was ashamed of her actions, and she was relieved when heard that you’ve been transferred to another department, and she thought that her secret would be safe. Except that, if everyone acted as if you’ve never existed, her mind didn’t allow her to forget. Every hour of every day, you were in her mind, and the longer she thought about that night, the biggesther guilt became, until the burden was too heavy to bear. Tonight, hearing them argue about you, has been the last straw.
“What did you do?” she asked, sensing that something was wrong. She didn’t like the feeling that was creeping inside of her, “what. did. you. do.?” she asked once again, but more firmly that time, when the other didn’t immediately answer her question. As she saw the hesitation, she reduced the distance between them in a second, her hand gripping the collar of Astrid’s shirt that she pins to the wall abruptly, “tell me. Now,” she insisted as the interaction only reinforced the bad feeling she had.
That morning, unlike the others, you woke up alone. There haven’t been the gentle caresses of your girlfriend to wake you up, nor her sweet words to coax you into getting up. No, that day, it was only yourself, draped into the cold sheets, and it felt so strange, the silence and the loneliness of the room. Sadly, it has not been the exception you’ve wished it would be, but only the first of too many mornings like that.
In the sleepy state you were in, it took you a few seconds to realize that something was wrong, and almost a minute before you noticed that you weren’t home. You couldn’t even recognize the place you were in, only knowing that it looked like a hotel, a shitty one if you might say. The room was small, simple, and not-so-comfortable. There was something in the ambience that gave you an uneasy feeling about the whole thing, but you were unable to say what it was exactly.
Your head is throbbing, and you are definitely feeling nauseous, but you know that’s not the problem. Your physical distress isn’t the cause of the weight on your chest, the one that makes your breath aching, it’s something else that your mind can’t comprehend yet. It’s all these inconsistencies. The missing memories of last night, the unknown room, the fact that you are alone,... you don’t remember drinking that much last night. You may not be the most responsible person that planet has known, but you know how to handle yourself. Usually. 
Could you have possibly drunk that much? 
The day has barely started, but you already know it is going to be a rough one. If only you knew how right you were, maybe you would have taken a few more hours of sleep, enjoying the comfortable peace of your old life a bit longer before joining the chaos. Yet, you had no means to guess that your day would go that way. 
It's a note left on the bedside table that answered all your questions, easing some of the worries that were creeping inside of you. Someone has written the following words : “Couldn’t get you home because of how drunk you were. don’t worry about being late today, I won’t tell Fury. however, had to go on a mission, be careful when you go home. I left you a bit of money, it should be enough to pay for the room and an Uber. Love you.” The message might not have been signed, but you can easily recognize Astrid’s handwriting. A smile spreads across your lips as you are reassured, the situation not being as bad as your mind made it look.
Some memories of last night flew back in your mind, but it’s only a glimpse of what happened, a lot of the events staying unknown to yourself. The last thing you can remember is the conversation you had with Astrid, when she admitted that she loved you and you replied that you too, thinking she meant as friends because you couldn’t see her any other way, not when you were already engaged in a relationship. The rest of the exchange is confused, and you are not sure what’s real and what has been made up by alcohol. Even today, you are still not sure. 
Maybe you’ve really drunk too much that night.
Knowing that you’ve been with Astrid the whole time was reassuring, and you are no longer as bothered by the absence of memories. For a moment, you thought you'd been kidnapped by some weird man. As you regain your composure, your thoughts become clearer and you decide that the first thing you should do is to send a message to your girlfriend. She must be so worried, and your heart aches at the thought that you might be a source of problem for the woman you love.
It is not your kind to not keep your promises, and you’ve told her you would be home last night. It is not your kind either to not answer her messages or calls. In reality, you are quite the opposite, always sending her hundreds of messages when you are out with your friends. The only reason she hasn’t got after you is because she knew you were with Astrid, and she trusted you. However, the sweet messages are going to have to wait because, when you try to turn your phone on, you only encounter a black screen, a sign that you’ve run out of battery. Obviously, your friend didn’t think to leave you a charger.
You sigh, admitting your defeat. Shaking your phone surely won’t change the situation. For the moment, there is nothing more you can do, except hoping that Natasha won’t be too angry. As you are getting ready, your mind is focused on how to earn the redhead’s forgiveness — Maybe you could stop to buy her some flowers? You hate it, when the two of you are arguing. It doesn’t happen a lot, but it’s never pretty, and the mere thought that it might happen was already hurting.
As you definitely couldn’t go back to the compound by yourself, not knowing how far you were and being in a pitiful state, you decided to use the money left by Astrid to call a cab, as she instructed you to do. It’s not before you enter the car that you realize how late you actually were. It is almost one in the afternoon, and if you are not an early riser, like your girlfriend who is always up by six at the latest, you rarely get up after ten.
It has been a thirty minutes drive back to the compound, and the whole time you were thinking about two things: taking a shower, and leaning into your girlfriends’ arms. You are so exhausted, physically and mentally, that you’ve decided to skip work today — You were already so late that it wouldn’t make a big difference anyway. The journey was long, and those thirty minutes felt like hours. 
Soon enough, you started to suffocate into your own mind, then skin. You felt so sweaty, and dirty, that it quickly became unbearable. Maybe it was the effects of the alcohol, or maybe because you’ve slept in a seedy motel, but the only thing you wanted was to get rid of the clothes you were wearing and the uncomfortable state you were in as soon as possible.
When you enter the compound, you find it empty, and so is the room you are sharing with the woman. If you frown, you don’t think much about it. If the building is rarely empty, it sometimes happens when emergencies are called. A whine escapes your lips as you realize that, if it’s true, they are going to be mad at you for not being here when they needed it. You can already feel your mind losing itself to self-hatred thoughts, as you mutter to yourself how stupid you are. You are going to need more than a few flowers to earn their forgiveness. The fact that JARVIS confirmed that everyone was at the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s quarters didn’t, you would have preferred to hear that they went to the restaurant without you rather than that.
Tears brimming your eyes, you quickly put your phone to charge. It is only when you get out of the shower, twenty minutes later, that you saw the missed calls and messages from Natasha. The most recent ones were sent a few minutes ago. There were too many of them for you to take time to read everything so you just sent her a quick text that said: “sorry, my battery was dead, and I couldn’t answer your calls. I’ll explain everything, I promise. see you soon. love you.” A message she saw but she didn’t answer, which is unusual and an obvious hint of how angry she probably is.
Despite your decision to not work today, you still end up in the S.H.I.E.L.D.’s quarters. You are almost running in the corridors, going to the meeting room where you find your girlfriend, and the rest of the Avengers. When you stumble into the room, a deadly silence descends. None of them greeted you, and the only reaction you got was Fury’s nod when you started mumbling excuses for your late arrival. While your eyes immediately landed on the redhead, she didn’t glance at you once of the entire meeting. The sight made your heart sink. You love her, but you have to admit that the spy is scary when she has that stern expression on her face, one that leaves no room for discussion.
The safest decision was to sit on the furthest chair, leaving her space until you get the opportunity to explain yourself. Something that you hadn't had a chance to do before a few more hours, when you stumbled into her in the corridors. You have been lost in your mind, having a hard time focusing on your work. Earlier, when the meeting ended, she immediately left the room, not leaving you a chance to exchange a word with her, and it has been bugging you since.
“Please, wait,” you said, already begging the woman. When she heard your voice, she stopped, allowing you to gently grab at her arm so she didn't go. She could, if she wanted to, and a part of her did want to run away, but the rest of her knows that this conversation can’t be avoided. “Listen, I- I am sorry,” you started once you were sure she was willing to listen to your excuses, “I should have warned you, but I couldn’t, my phone’s battery was dead and, and- honestly? I don't remember much of what happened last night. All I know is that once was enough. It won't happen again,” you chuckled sadly. When you woke up that morning, you promised to yourself that it was the last time you drank that much. A promise you kept, and three years later, you still haven’t touched a bottle of alcohol. “I promise, 'tasha. Please, don't be mad at me for that, or at least tell me how I can make up for my mistake,” you said, and the woman knew she had heard enough.
“Seriously?” she scoffed, breaking free of your grip. “I can’t believe you are that stupid,” she said, as she started to walk away. But if she didn’t want to hear the sound of your voice any more, you, however, weren’t done yet.
"I know I’ve made a mistake, but I am fine, isn’t it the most important?” you asked, starting to follow. Except that, when she heard your steps in her back, she accelerated her pace. “I promise to be more careful next time but, you know, I can handle myself for one night. Well, I might have drunk a bit too much, but Astrid was wi~,” you tried to explain, except she cut short your ramblings. To say, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the woman quickly cut you. She scoffed again, in disbelief this time.
"You are really stupid, aren't you?” she said, stopping in her tracks, and you almost ran into her, surprised by her sudden stop. A few more seconds passed before she turned around to face you, her posture matching her stern expression. “Do you think I don't know what happened last night, with Astrid? Do you really think I wouldn’t have known the truth?” she added, taking a step forward for every question she asked, and you took one back every time, until your back hit the walls. You would certainly have found the situation hot if she didn’t look like she was about to murder you.
“W- what?” you said, “you are mad because I went out with a friend. That’s the problem? Astrid is the problem?" you snapped, starting to feel frustrated about the whole situation. 
You are tired, and the only thing you’ve wanted to do since you opened your eyes that morning — Throwing yourself in your girlfriend’s arms — was impossible to do. You hadn’t expected the woman to give you such a hard time. You knew she could be jealous sometimes, you’ve already had arguments about that in the past, but you’ve always been understanding because you know that her jealousy isn’t caused by a lack of trust. This feeling is fuelled by her own insecurities and past. Except that, that time, it was too much. The way she wouldn't listen to your excuses is seriously hitting on your nerves.
"Don't you dare to lie to me,” she said. For a moment, you thought she was going to hit you, but she took a step back before she could do that. She was angry too, taking deep breaths in an attempt to ease the feeling. “I trusted you,” she eventually added but her tone was different — The anger left her voice, replaced by pain. “I trusted you and, most importantly, I loved you,” she whispered, turning around to see you one last time. “After everything I have done for you, I can't believe that's how you are thanking me. You know, I really thought you were different, better," she laughed, trying very hard to not throw you against the walls or worse, to cry. The most insufferable was the look in your eyes, the false innocence. She was tired of pretending, she had given you enough chances to tell her the truth, “but you’re not,” but now, she was done trying.
That is the last time the two of you talked. The next time you’ve seen her, she hasn’t been kind enough to let you have a chance to explain things. She was done trying, and so were you. The last words she said are still ringing in your head, even years later. Maybe if you'd chased her once again that day, things would have ended differently, but you haven’t moved. You couldn’t, petrified by the conversation that just took place, you have just watched the redhead walking away without glancing back.
It’s only when you enter the break room that you understand the whole conversation you had with Natasha. No one was here, but the walls had been covered with pictures of yourself. At first, you thought it was a prank from your teammates’ but the pictures were all but innocent. You felt your heart sink when you took down one of the photos to get a closer look at it, and tears in your eyes when you realized that you were nude in those.
It was you, in bed, with Astrid. Your face doesn’t entirely show but you can easily recognize yourself and the bed you’ve woken up in that morning. There were dozens of different pictures, but all showed similar scenes: your bodies against each other as you are obviously sharing an intimate moment. Something that you should only share with one person on that Earth. A person that is definitely not Astrid. 
Except that the more you look at those pictures, the more foreign they feel. You are sure you are the one in the pictures, but you are still unable to remember what happened. Slowly, doubt creeps into your heart — Did you drink that much last night? 
So much that you betrayed the woman you swore to love until the sun dies? 
You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You are suddenly overwhelmed by a bunch of emotions that you can’t describe, but that are definitely not pleasant. It is a mix of confusion, anger, guilt, and disgust. The pictures speak for themselves, and they leave little room for doubt about what you were doing — And you were surely not just sleeping. The woman was on top of you, her mouth closed to your neck, maybe she was leaving soft kisses against your skin, maybe she was whispering sweet things in your ears, you don’t know. But the thing you were focused on was her hand hidden by the sheets, leaving only your imagination to complete the scene. It wasn’t the only picture of that kind: they were all picturing similar scenes. You can easily understand her rage and hatred earlier because you are now sharing those feelings with your girlfriend, just for different reasons.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" a voice said, pulling out of your mind. It was Astrid, who just entered the room. She glanced around before looking back at you, a sad smile spreading on her lips when she notices the tears that are soaking your face. and you saw Astrid entering the room. She looks around, a sorry look on her face. "I am sorry,” she started, and you could feel she was looking for the right thing to say, “I- I sent the pictures to the wrong person. When I realized, I tried to explain to Romanoff but, well… you know how she is,” she explained, shrugging as if she was trying to make you believe she had actually tried to, “she wouldn't listen to me, and they- they did that before I could stop them. It doesn’t please me either," she added, reminding you that you weren’t the only one suffering from the situation. Except she seemed to deal with the situation better than you do. As she talked, she slowly walked closer to you, accompanying each of her sentences with a few steps forward until she was close enough to wrap you in her arms. 
You didn’t get the energy to push her away.
"Did we.. ?" you asked, but your voice broke before you could finish your sentence. It felt too difficult to say those words out loud — “Did we hook up? Did I cheat on Natasha?” But the woman doesn’t need the words to be said, she seems to read in your mind the end of your sentence.
"Of course we did, what kind of question is that?" she replied, frowning. She seems to be surprised by your question. For a second, the hand that was slowly caressing the back of your head stopped. The woman pulled back a little, just so she could see your face. "Why? Do you regret it?" she asked, and for an instant she seemed to be genuinely worried about your reaction, "because you didn't seem to last night, when you cried my name,..." she whispered in your ear. You could feel her breath tickling your skin but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling, unlike when Natasha does it.
Everything felt so much. Her voice, her touch, her presence so close to you, was now unbearable. As she remembers the night you’ve spent, a soft smirk spreads on her lips, but you are definitely not sharing her feelings. “Of course we did.” The words loop back into your mind, it seeps in like a poison that quickly takes over your whole being. Soon, you are paralyzed by an awful feeling. It hurts, but at the same time you are not sure you are actually feeling something, your body and mind feeling so foreign to you — If you wanted it, why does it feel so wrong?
At that moment, if you had been able to move, you would have ripped your ears off just so you wouldn’t hear her voice any more, and maybe you would have done the same with your skin. It felt like the only way to get rid of your overwhelming feelings. Suddenly, the reassuring touch of your best friend made you feel gross, and so do her sweet words — But if she said that you did it, and wanted it, then it must be true, right?
You have seen the pictures, they are in your hands, right under your eyes. You can see yourself betraying the woman you love and in those, you really don't give the impression that you didn’t want to. On the contrary.
"No, no, it- it's not that, it’s just…," you eventually managed to say, but you are hesitating and unsure of yourself. There are too many thoughts and words clouding your head, so many ways you could react and yet, none of what you could say or do felt right. "It’s just that I don’t even remember last night,” you admitted, feeling ashamed about it, “I mean, did we- you know,... for real?" you asked softly but you were not even listening to Astrid’s answer, the question was more for yourself in reality. "Sorry, I have to go, see you later", you said, interrupting the woman. Somehow, you regained control over your body, just enough to push the other away and leave the room. You are not sure where you are going, but as far from that room as you can is already a good start.
That's where she found you when she came home that night, sitting on the bathroom's floor, the pictures in your hands.
Your hand is still wrapped tightly around the pictures, but you didn’t notice it. Not before being back home, in the room you are sharing with Natasha — Or were sharing, you thought, unsure about how the situation would unfold. It may be the last time you set a foot in that room that has been your safe place for months. Before you could completely break down, you decided to take a shower, thinking that, maybe, the steaming water would be enough to ease your mind. You took two showers. Then three, then four, and maybe more. You can’t be sure, you’ve stopped counting. All you knew was that it hasn’t been enough to get rid of the uneasy feelings and thoughts. You’ve scrubbed yourself until your skin was so sensitive that even the touch of the towel has been painful — But maybe you deserved it.
The rest of the day is a blur, and you are not sure what time it is. You’ve spent hours on the bathroom’s floor, your left hand clenched around the picture while the right one was holding the towel. Your head was so empty, but so full at the same time. That’s how she found you when she came home that night, and if she had been tempted to wrap you in her arms when she saw your pitiful state, the conversation she just had with the others discouraged her to do so — You didn’t deserve her pity. They are right when they say that you are not the victim: you are the one that cheated on her, and she needs to be firm, stern. You knew how hard it is for the woman to trust someone and yet, you still broke the fate she had put in you after years of making her dream of a better future.
"Oh, so you remember now?" she coldly said to you when she entered the room. You didn’t move, not even your eyes to look at her, but if you did, you would have seen that the woman was leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed. Maybe you would have also seen that her coldness was only a facade, and that she was as close as you were from breaking down. 
You stayed silent, unable to say anything. The words were stuck in your clenched throat, and they aren’t feeling right anyway — How could you defend yourself when you didn't even know what happened exactly? Plus, you weren’t even sure there was something to defend, the pictures speaking for themselves. Even when she started packing your belongings, you didn’t move. For you to move, she had to grab your arm and drag you all the way outside the Avengers’s building by herself. 
She needed you gone, and everyone agreed that it was only for the best. At least for a few weeks, just the time for things to calm down. That’s what she came to announce. The few words that left your mouth were useless, your pleas falling in deaf ears: the decision had already been made, and the sentence was irrevocable. The woman is done with your bullshit. She is done with you, and so you are.
"The pictures, they- they aren't real," she eventually admitted, her voice being barely louder than a whisper as she unburdens herself of this old secret. “I mean, th- they are, but it’s a staging. Nothing happened between us, she- hm, loves you too much to give you away,” she continued, tears filling her eyes as she talks, her voice wavering a little more with each word. "She isn't even conscious in these," she continued when the spy didn’t react. If the black-haired woman thought it was because the other was listening, it was because she didn’t know how to react.
The weight of what she had done left her shoulder, and it was now lingering in the room, where the air was suddenly thick, and almost unbreathable. Natasha felt a weight in her chest that made each breath harder than the previous one. Overcome by surprise, she had let go of the other, stepping back a few steps. Her thoughts were racing, numerous and contradictory, they weren’t coherent enough to allow how to respond in any way. She needed to do something, but she didn’t know what.
“I- I don’t know why I did that. It wasn’t me, that night, you know that, right? That I would usually never ever do something like that,” she started to defend herself when she saw the look on Natasha’s face, “I was so angry, and disappointed, when she refused. I have given her everything since we met, and yet you are the one she chose. I thought that, maybe, with a bit of time she would eventually realize her mistake, … but I was so wrong,” she sighed, and the redhead could see the remnants of that anger in her attitude. A clenching jaw and fists, accompanied with firm words that left no doubt about the resentment she held towards her, and towards you. “That night, I- I wasn’t myself. We’ve already had a few drinks and, you know, it doesn’t mix well with emotions,” she continued, and the woman could feel her anger rising with every word the other spoke. “All I could think about was getting revenge. I wanted to show her she was wrong, that I had so much more to offer than she thought. I wanted her to change her mind, to see me for more than just a friend,” she admitted, her voice being just a whisper as she says the last sentence. “I never thought it would end this way, I swear, you’ve to believe me, Natasha,” and to forgive me. She didn’t say the last words out loud, but she doesn’t need to, her eyes are speaking for herself.
Only, when her gaze met the redhead’s, she didn’t see in her eyes the compassion she had been expecting, only pure hatred, an emotion that had quickly replaced the initial surprise. Not even a word was addressed to her as the other left the room, leaving her alone to dry her tears.
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| MOODBOARD — ✧ — MASTERLIST — ✧ — TO SAY SOMETHING
| Part one. Part two. Part three.
| Taglist — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @gemz5, @jusnough, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.
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tarjapearce · 4 months
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can we get something about reader having a kid before she met Miguel. her ex was treating her poorly while she was pregnant and after she gave birth, having her to clean the house and take care of their newborn cause the ex was too lazy and verbally abusive? After knowing Miguel for awhile, reader becomes preggo and she’s super scared that she’ll be neglected, but Miguel’s with her the whole time. or a happy ending of your choice🫣
Yee ✨
Parallels and Opposites
Landlord! Miguel O'Hara x Reader
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WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Verbal abuse, manipulation toxic relationships dynamics, controlling behavior, gaslight, mild graphic depictions of domestic violence, hurt, struggles, fluff towards the end. No proofread.
Summary: Miguel shows you what true love and family means.
If someone asked you, what would be your biggest regret, a simple name would come to mind. Samuel 'Sam' Lawson.
The man that with his sweet words and lies had stolen you out of the comfortableness and stability of your home. A man that had seduced you right after you finished college and spoke about how you'd be his perfect little housewife.
Someone that played a perfect house angel role and had convinced your parents to live with him a couple of days after the graduation ceremony. Someone that without a doubt, would've teached Judas his own lying game since it proved effective on you and everyone around you.
Samuel was loving, always filling you with gifts and smiles, always making sure you knew his heart was yours, and always making sure you wouldn't have to worry for things such as money. You were happy.
So happy that ignored the micro-aggressions that hid between the loving noise. Beyond happy that you grown used to his presence, even when he didn't need to be there and ignored your few friend's warnings of his controlling and possessive behavior.
They were just jealous that they didn't have someone like him. Right?
It was normal for your loved one to pull you apart from those friendships that deemed toxic, right?
"They're always criticizing us, babe. They're just jealous I take care of you the way they wished their simpleton partners would. You don't need people like that in our lives."
And little by little your friend's circle decreased considerably, but Sam was always there. Ever loving and supporting. Even when in his outbursts he always made sure to say it was all for your good, because he loved you. That everything he did was for you, like it's always been.
He loved you so damn much that it hurt and his relief was beer, staying outside home until late, or fucking you till your body begged for a break.
Life was generous and good, so good you had gotten pregnant. Sam was ecstatic. You finally were carrying his child. And it was enough to make you his fiancé.
"We ain't married yet, but til death do us apart, honey." He'd say, peppering your face in kisses.
There was nothing to fear. All those seedlings of doubts your friends had put, were sapped away, He loved you.
Until he found out you were having a baby girl.
His loving and protective facade begun slowly chipping away.
The beer's stench stuck on his body and breath most of the times Sam was awake. His bad mood was always rampant, making every little thing an inconvenience that didn't help your crumbling relationship.
A few dishes rested comfortably on the sink? He'd scream and to calm him down, you'd rush to clean it all up. His snacks crumbs were in his favorite seat? God forbid to Sam see them cause it was another round of cruel jokes.
"Maybe if you weren't that fat to clean, this place wouldn't look this bad."
It was his bad humor. You thought at first. You knew he had a bad temper, but you were too busy falling inlove to actually notice it seeping through the cracks. You were too busy loving him that ignored the liquid anger pooling at your feet. Slowly filling the four walls you inhabited.
He'll change.
You clung to that thought alone, hoping that this phase was only temporary. That he'd go back to the same man you met. The same mn that got you breakfast in bed and took you to dance the many times you wanted.
Not this man that hurt your mind with whatever nonsense about your body he thought and his mouth spilled. Or hit the walls, instead of hitting you because he loved you.
He loves me.
"Where's my fucking dinner?"
He's just having a bad time with the medical expenses. That's all.
"You fucking stay here all day long doing shit, instead of keeping it all together while I work my ass off to get your fatass whims."
"I clean and cook, Sam." your mouth mumbled and it was enough for him to be invading your space, his taller frame cornering you against the shiny counter you always cleaned up.
"The fuck did you say?"
You gulped. The words replaying in your mind but unable to come out of your mouth. He seemed pleased on the smell of your fear.
"Wouldn't it the least you could do to your hard working husband, hmm?"
You didn't want to admit that these sudden hot and cold games confused you to no end. But they fed your hope of bringing him back.
"I'm sorry." You hushed and he caressed your chin a bit roughly, making you look at him.
"I know. I know pregnancy is hard on you, but your babygirl is not an excuse to not tend your husband's need, honey. You gotta do better. For me."
You nodded while he kissed your forehead and you got away to serve him his dinner.
"We can't have any more mishaps, can we?"
"I'll do it better, ok?"
He squeezed you against him, satisfied you'd acknowledged your mistakes.
"Good girl."
-----
As the pregnancy went on, so did Sam's moods wings. One minute he had all the hots for you, and when he was done, having his fun, he'd go back to his cold and rude self.
Any little mistake on your end was the perfect excuse for him to throw his harbored venom your way. If he didn't attack the apparent laziness, he'd go for how weak and pathetic you were only cause the baby.
And the more he pressed, the more you got tired of only nodding with a head down. And when you talked back, he only laughed and blamed your hormones for being such a drama queen.
You amused him, and your fight response even better. Yelling became the new thing in the Lawson's home. And each made sure to have a proper turn.
Until little Lily was born.
Things grew obnoxiously quiet for Sam as you were too focused on Lily to indulge his outbursts.
At least he was gentleman enough to keep it quiet, for a bit. But Sam needed that hatred, that yelling and anger to fuel him. So he found a new way to make sure you engaged into his baiting.
He'd make noise on purpose, waking you both and Lily, keeping you exhausted and at the verge of tears. You even begged him once to let you sleep, you couldn't allow another accident due to you being beyond tired.
The bag under your eyes were heavier, weight fluctuated, but even so, Lily remained your priority. And that pissed him to no end.
That in and out continued, stretching for a long long time, everyone around you kept warming you, but you always managed to spin the conversation around. Tired was always something that described you. Your parents grew concerned and the few friends that remained on your side only supported you and Lily
Sam always had an excuse to skip family reunions. But everyone knew that it was a matter of time things to go sour.
And when your final wake up call arrived, it was like a blindfold had been removed from you.
It wasn't the argue this time, neither the beat down he awaited for so long to deliver you, despite your protest and pleas for him to stop hitting you, but the fact Sam was targeting Lily as the new victim of his rage out of control. Only cause you refused sex to him.
Because of her, you never wanted to fuck with him like the old times, you were never in the mood for anything since she arrived. Would it all be better if she was gone?
Definitely.
His mind reasoned.
But before any more tragedies could happen in the day, the vase he always complained about silenced him as it crashed on his nape, knocking him out.
And it was enough time for you to pack up whatever thing you felt necessary, grabbed your two year old crying toddler, and ran away. Ran into the freedom of the night away from Sam's suffocating claws.
No bruise or pain in your body mattered. No scream or insult engraved in your brain by his commanding and absolute voice did. Sam didn't matter anymore.
"We'll be fine, sweetheart." A reassure to you and your toddler.
----
After sojourning through different shelters and housing programs and financial aids, you finally managed to land a proper job that eventually managed you to afford a car. As long as it was functional, in good conditions, and safe wise for Lily, you couldn't care less about the model.
Your baby was three now, and finally you had managed to get a lease in a place in the middle of Nueva York's city. Perfect to reach Lily's school and your work. Life was making sure to reward your suffering with a fresh start.
The new landlord, however was everything you expected a landlord to be. Quiet, reserved, perpetually busy, grumpy at times but surprisingly, gentle and careful with the kids in the building.
Thanks to Lily, and her need of running away in random moments for you to play with her, you had ran into his apartment, your baby giggled as she stumbled upon a curious and surprised looking Miguel in the doorway.
"My goodness, I'm so sorry! Lily, darling come! This is not playtime."
Miguel chuckled softly as your daughter hid behind him.
"I think your mother is right, princesita. Go to her."
"But she is no fun!" Lily pouted, "And she's always busy and tired to play with me."
Your cheeks flustered and your eyes blinked, truly not expecting for her to vent your personal occurrences, but also hurting for the tinge of disappointment in her voice.
Miguel picked her up, and your heart leaped nervously, ready to take the harsh and judging words for not being able to properly take care of your child, like everyone.
But they never came.
"I know it must be frustrating for you to not having mommy to play with you, corazón, but running into places like that is wrong. And quite dangerous. Something could happen to you, and mommy would be extremely sad and upset."
Lily nodded apologizing, as he delivered her back to you.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. O'Hara. It won't happen again."
"Don't worry about it. They're children."
"Say sorry to Mr. O'Hara for running without his permission into his home."
Your baby girl apologized, and after him reassuring it was fine, that she only needed to be careful, you returned to your apartment.
Miguel O'Hara or Mr. O'Hara for the other tenants, seemed a regular man, always up to something in the building and making sure everyone lived in perfect conditions. A place that most in the neighborhood wanted to live in.
Not only because of him and his gorgeous looks, but the actual quality of life the building had, despite being an old one.
If the sink was dripping, he made sure to see it as soon as possible. You found out that plumbing, wall repairing and other appliances were in his repertoire of knowledge, he was a multitasking man, that always waved your little girl of they met in the hall, no matter how busy he was.
The 'Hi, Mr. O'Hara!' echoed every morning through the halls along his 'Good morning, princesita.' and every evening when you returned from work and picking up Lily.
But besides your toddler interacting with him, there wasn't much reason for you to approach him. Matters of the heart were too recent and fragile to approach. Your heart had so much to do to glue back the pieces Samuel had made sure to break.
And he was always busy. Always with his head into something. Life however had these little moments that conceded you a hint of what ifs and what not.
Like Miguel helping you with the grocery bags that gave you trouble, Him making sure everything in your apartment worked properly, fixing a tire from your car and sharing a bit of his food, something that Lily rambled once to him. She told him about you praising the smell of his food from across the hall, and next thing you know, is him delivering a bowl of freshly made Tinga in your hands.
"Made a bit too much of it." He mumbled with a coy smile after greeting Lily with a smile.
He was good with the other kids, but with Lily he interacted the most. The other kids just greeted him and kept it to themselves.
Food sharing however, was only the start of something neither were aware of it brewing.
It all started with you, retrieving the favor with some baked goods, a flan. Something your daughter saw him eating a couple of times along a pack of coffee. He was always smelling like that fancy colombian package with extra roast. And a little Thank you note.
He replied with an envelope full of coupons from the supemarket on things you'd need, along a 'Saw these in my mail, I think they're more useful to you."
Cause in truth, what other concerns a single and childless man like him could have?
He realized you were a single mom cause of Lily. He noticed how she never mentioned her dad.
"Mommy doesn't like talking about him."
The girl said and it was enough for him to understand.
A couple of days later, you'd have him in the kitchen sink, looking through the pipes of the dishwasher. As it refused to work.
Miguel was patient, and explained what was wrong and pulled out a couple of toys in pieces that obstructed the blades.
Your cheeks were burning from the embarrassment, but he wasn't mad. He wasn't angry at your toddler for behaving like a child. Unlike Sam, that yelled whenever Lily cried.
"Don't you worry about it. It happens way too often than you think."
"Still, sorry, There's times when I just wanna come home and crash on bed. Work is a bit stressful and I just wanna do my best for her."
"Hey, relax." His hand caressed your arm gently, a brief yet soothing gesture that had your heart running leaps in your chest, "She's lucky to have you as a mom."
"You think? I felt terrible when she said I didn't have any time to play with her."
"She's too young to understand all what you must do for her, preciosa. Don't rack your brain about it."
"Thank you, Miguel." His words had been like a balm to your aching soul. None had actually had the decency to acknowledge everything you did for your kid, as they were all too busy judging. But not Miguel.
He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck nervously.
"I... I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place and have some dinner?"
"Oh?"
He gulped on your surprise, "It's alright if you don't. I think... fuck. I think that was too soon." He swallowed again, tensing.
You chuckled, "It's alright. I'll bring the dessert. And Lily if that's okay."
"It's perfect" He breathed, relieved, "She needs to keep me updated in this story on the beetle she saw in her classroom."
You laughed and his heart shuddered at the sound.
"Seems we both need an update on it."
----
"And it flew! It was buzzing and then landed on a flower outside."
"No way! Look at that, you fought the beetle! "
"Mommy says they help the flowers to grow. But everyone was scared and I fought it off!"
"Good job, princesa." Miguel chuckled as he served Lily her plate of food while you cut the flan in pieces.
The not so-date was fun and offered you a new perspective on eachother. And so the many others you had.
But life had been in a weird mood that pressed enough just to remind you, the dangers out there.
You had just came from a true date with Miguel as Lily was with her grandma. You really never lost contact with your parents, and when you grew quiet, they were concerned. But now that everything was going as smoothly as it could, the weekend visits were a must to make up for all the missing time.
You took the elevator first, to change into something more, sultry to match the night overall's mood. The soft caresses and lingering looks between Miguel and you were undeniable. And rightfully so, he had earned that spot into your heart, and what a better way to reward him with something you both died for to enjoy?
As you grabbed your keys and opened the door, a rough calloused hand grabbed you by your hair.
"Well, well.. Long time no see honey."
He pushed you in, but you budged, moving away from him yet his firm grip tightened.
"Let me go!"
Samuel had found you, after years of looking on his own. His beer breath wasn't news, yet the stench of it all made you retch and move away.
He slammed you against the wall and hovered over your trembling form.
"Where's Lily?!" he grabbed you by the collar of your dress and you spat his face.
"Fuck you!" A punch landed on your cheekbone, sending you to the floor, stunned.
"Do you know how long it took me to find you?! Where the fuck is my daughter!?"
He sat on your hips to ground you as his fist hovered over your face. No harm came however.
Strong and tanned hands pulled the paler guy away from you, like a ragdoll, growling as Miguel squashed him against the floor.
Samuel was no match for him, but the last thing you needed was more violence. Despite the anger consuming him, Miguel tossed Samuel off the stairs, earning him a pained groan from the man.
Your ex laid on the floor, unable to get up as Miguel dialed the police. Within matters of minutes, Samuel had been taken care of and took away.
You on the other hand, cried in Miguel's arms. Shaking and sobbing as the landlord himself tended your wounds, apprehension in his face.
How dared that man to touch you?, How dared that man to even think about hurting his own child? He was thankful Lily wasn't around, or Migue truly didn't know what he would be capable of.
You had explained everything to him. How it all started with Samuel, how everything changed and how you had to escape him in order to save Lily from a certain death.
To your little surprise, Sam had been escaping the law for a few years now. But that chapter in your life was now closed and tossed forever to a vault underground and threw the key somewhere you couldn't care less at the moment, nor later or ever.
"You're safe now, corazón." He cradled you against his chest, promising not a single harm would come to you now.
----
The two parallel lines in the pregnancy test finally showed up, announcing the start of a new life within you.
Moving in with Miguel in his apartment, was only one of the many perks that came in hand when dating him.
Your heart finally had the chance of opening and receive and give all that love you always dreamed of receiving again.
Miguel didn't lie, Miguel didn't treat you good because he wanted something out of you, he praised you whenever your efforts came to fruition, and was always pampering Lily, to the point of her calling him by accident dad a couple of times.
But he liked it. He loved the sound of that title in your daughter's life. Miguel was everything that was good in this world. Sure, he had a temper, but never lashed out on you or Lily. He never yelled or screamed, or bait you into a fighting game.
And it terrified you at first. You were so used to chaos that anything like calm and conflict resolution was something you had to learn if you wanted him to be at your side.
Therapy always worked and it helped you to improve all those pestering thoughts Samuel had planted on your mind.
Miguel had taken his sweet time into proving that you no longer had to fear for your life and Lily's. That you no longer had to scream to have your voice listened or that you had to fight in order to have something done.
You didn't have to be on survival and flight or fight mode.
And when you delivered the news to him? He showered your face in affection, praised you for making him the happiest man ever. Even thanked you for making one of his dreams come true.
-----
And when you found out another girl was on the way, you braced for impact.
At first, a deep part you thought that Miguel would act exactly like Samuel, and as much as it hurt you to think that way, some pains never truly left. They just remained dormant and buried away.
But again, nothing but love came your way. Miguel rambled to no end about the baby's room color, how Lily would be an amazing big sister and how she was also thrilled to have a sister.
He was excited. Not yelling. Miguel complimented your body changes and kissed your baby bump in every chance he had, not calling you a lazy fat ass.
He'd cook for you and even going to the extent of visiting the convenience store at wee hours of the night to have your cravings met, not telling you to shut the fuck up an let him sleep.
Miguel didn't allow you to stand too much time once your last trimester hit. He took charge of your home and kept it clean and comfortable for you, not insulting, yelling and accusing you for being exhausted and putting up excuses to have the house clean and his dinner ready.
Miguel was gentle and always praised you. He spent those times when you needed him buried into you, worshipping your body with such care and love before, during and after he was done pleasing you, not fucking the daylights out of you and leaving you to clean after yourself the mess he created, not caring at all if you were sore.
The sole idea of hitting you, terrified him, he confessed once, not amused him. Miguel didn't get off by taunting you with slurs like Sam did. He didn't had fun into competing for who screamed more before your voices gave out, like Sam did.
He accompanied you to every single doctor appointment and even bought you vitamins and supplements, not complained all the way home on how expensive everything was and how much you owed him for the appointment and medicines. If he bought you any.
Thank heavens Lily came perfectly healthy thanks to the vitamins your parents gave you.
And he definitely didn't hit you, dehumanized you and treated you poorly, like Samuel did.
You felt ashamed for even daring to do such comparison, but it was unavoidable. Not when everything you had know was chaos and this man offered you a complete opposite spectrum of a love you always dreamed off.
And when Gabriella was born, yours and his dream was finally complete. You got true and untampered love, and he got a family on his own, ready to show you the true meaning of such word.
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kitkatt0430 · 5 days
Text
Been in a Batfamily (in all it's fucked up drama) mood lately and thinking...
Jason gets into town, starts establishing his Red Hood persona, screwing with the Bats and taking over Crime Alley. He intends to use the new Robin to screw with Batman and manipulating Black Mask into reporting the new Red Hood back to the original. And as planned, Joker does not respond well to 'some upstart' using his old moniker.
Except when Joker breaks out of Arkham he can't help but be distracted by Batman and his shiny new Robin. (Has Joker been out while Tim's been Robin at this point? Let's say no for the sake of fanfic purposes.) Now Harley made Joker promise no more killing kids after what happened with the last Robin, made it clear that was a hard boundary for her and she'd leave him for good if he want after any more kids.
Of course, his promise that of course he wouldn't kill anymore kids was a total lie but it got Hartley to go all soft and agreeable for him again and that was what mattered. Besides, he doesn't want to kill this Robin. He wants to see what Batman sees in having child sidekick and take one for himself.
So Tim gets kidnapped by the Joker before Bruce can send the poor kid somewhere not Gotham for his safety. And Joke unmasks Tim because of course he does. And Harley sees how young Tim is and watches Mr. J start electrocuting the kid because surely the brainwashing'll stick if they fry his noggin' a bit first...
And Harley decides this is a boundary for her too. She can't be a part of this and even if it kills her, she's going to save this kid. She knows she can't do it on her own and her first thought is to go find Batman.
Of course, she quickly nixes this idea. Batman isn't ruthless enough and sure maybe he'll make it all the way through Joker's henchmen - admittedly as per usual - and rescue the kid. But then Mr. J will go back to Arkham and even though Harley doesn't want Joker dead... she also kinda wants him dead for this one. For using his promise to her not to kill kids as an excuse to torture children instead.
Next choice is Nightwing but he's out for the same reasons as Batman. Nightwing is somewhat more likely to kill the Joker and could live with it in the way Batman couldn't, but it's not a guarantee and Harley wants this kid to know that the guy who did this to him will never be able to do it ever again.
And then Harley remembers. Red Hood. Who definitely picked that name not as an homage but as a taunt. Who clearly hates the Joker and all he stands for. Who will... probably kill Harley, let's be honest, but she's not sure she wants to live without her Mr. J even as she's mentally planning out the man's death. So.
Harley makes an excuse to leave. Joker says something about mom doing the grocery shopping to the kid he's electrocuting and hands off a list of random stuff to Harley. She takes it and skedaddles. Heads all the way to Crime Alley. Stands outside it for a long moment. Thinks about the kid Joker's gotten his hands on. The way he screamed and cried and begged for Batman to come save him after the bravado of Robin quickly wore off.
She steps into Crime Alley. And then she does random acrobatics down the street, waiting for the Red Hood or his men to show up.
And they do. The Red Hood's henchmen are quick and efficient in grabbing her and presenting her to their boss. There's a gun in her face and she should be terrified and she is but...
She tells Red Hood about the kid. She drops the fake accent she put on for Joker and let's herself be, for just one last time, Harleen instead of Harley. The doctor who cares and not the killer Joker molded her into. "So kill me or whatever, I know I deserve it for believing Mr. J's lies again. But you have a code. You don't hurt kids. You don't kill kids. And maybe I'm asking too much, but I wasn't there and didn't save the last one. So I'm begging you to save this one."
Jason sees green. He has Harley take him to the Joker's hide out. He tears his way through the Joker's goons and doesn't hesitate to kill the Joker because he's too deep in the pit rage at the man who murdered him to care about his convoluted plans to try and force Bruce's hand, to make Batman finally kill Joker.
On the bright side, killing the Joker himself clears up some of Jason's lazarous pit related anger management issues. On the spot. The down side however is that Jason now has a traumatized Tim to deliver back to Batman - which he'd rather not, Batman cannot be trusted not to weaponize children - without being blamed for the state Tim's in.
He makes this Harley's problem - explain this to the Bats yourself, it's your punishment, Harley - and decides he needs a new plan to say 'screw you' to Batman with. He's gonna win over Robin 3.0 and get the kid to willingly abandon Batman to join the Red Hood Crew. How hard can it be, anyway?
Meanwhile Tim has absolutely figured out Jason is the Red Hood because he's absolutely connecting dots he should not be capable of connecting and formulating his own plan to try and lure Jason back home. Because why would Tim focus on healing from his own trauma when he could prioritize someone else's and compartmentalize the hell out of his own problems. Which is definitely the healthy thing to do and not at all going to bite him in the ass with depression and miscommunications down the line. (They all need so much therapy.)
So now the Joker's dead, Harley has delivered Tim safely back to Batman, (Ivy is about to get an unexpected visitor,) and the Bats are about to start playing four-d chess with each other to try and achieve various goals. Jason is trying to steal Tim from Bruce. Bruce thinks maybe saving Robin means the new Red Hood could be saved from himself after all. Tim is trying to lure Jason back to the manor for Alfred's cookies and oh is that a long overdue conversation with Bruce that is also sprung on him like a trap??? And Dick would just like to thank Red Hood but somehow winds up drunk confessing to the definitely-a-hallucination-of-Jason the whole didn't find out his little brother was dead until after the funeral when Dick got back from space thing and how he's so grateful to the Red Hood for saving this new kid who's just the neighbor's kid but also rapidly looking brother-shaped and why is he so bad at protecting the people he cares about???
(Jason rapidly going from 'drunk Dick is funny' to 'drunk Dick is clingy and cries and oh god he's getting emotions all over me make it stop')
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m1ndbrand · 8 months
Text
"and all it took was..." — Prize
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WARNINGS: Slight!NSFW it's suggestive I would say 18+; Coriolanus Snow is it's own warning(Snow after the 10thGames, 2 years after to be precise); slight dub-con; mentions of physical assault; a small mental breakdown in the beginning; Reader is also not "normal"; This is after the Reader's Hunger Games, she was 18 when chosen, she is 19 now(the same age Lucy Gray would be/is);
SUMMARY: The 12th Hunger Games winner unfortunately fortunately gets the attention of President Snow.
WORDS: 2.079
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the franchise The Hunger Games characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them. I do claim what i wrote and only that.
DIVIDERS BY: @cafekitsune (Thank you so much, all your work is lovely!)
A/N: I wasn't really going to publish this but as I finish it I just thought, hell, why not? So here it is, I apologize for any errors or mistakes and/or writing, English is not my first language and I usually don't write I just read really.
MASTERLIST
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“ease a little—” the feminine voice pleaded almost, her voice strained. He only tightened his grip, burying his face deeper into the warmth of her skin. She stills a breath, waiting for something sharp and painful, a slap against her cheek for her words.
It doesn’t come.
No words, no warning bark, and not a bite felt in her skin. He just grabbed her tighter.
She hated him, she reminds herself when a small bud of sympathy begins to form for him. She hated him.
But he wanted her…for some reason she could not fathom, needed someone, and she always wished to feel wanted. Wanted by her family even if she was born a girl and not a boy like they so ardently wished, wanted as a friend, a lover, someone…anything— wanted. Just wanted. She craved that her whole life. Hungered for it.
And this is all he wants from her, stay with him, let him hold her, even if he is the vile man she knows he is, he wants…no he needs her, she understands as his grip trembles as her hands move again to try and move his away from her. She had never seen him like this.
A sick satisfaction settles inside her being against her better judgment, her heart beating faster as he cries against her flushed skin, fuck he really was that attacked already? She sighs and lets her head fall against the too-soft pillow, her body relaxing against his grip, letting the snake smother her.
Was this dangerous…? Yes well— he did kill people, one was the person he loved, that he was attached to…but she needed him too. She needed his attachment, his feelings even if twisted ones to survive, to get back home… Will he let her though? The thoughts ring in her head like a bright red warning light, would he let her get out of his arms and sight?
The cold softness of the inside of her hand touches his warm and slightly wet cheek, mumbling the nickname she knows he will answer to. Coryo.
He beams. Bless him, he actually beamed to her, eyes glazed as he looked for whatever she would be saying before she even said it.
Protect my family. They need money, food—
She wanted to say, but she knew his mistrustful self would see this as her trying to manipulate him, which she was, for the benefit of her family.
So before those words come out, she swallows them, and she kisses his cheek to disperse any emotions he could read in her face that would indicate any of her thoughts. It was short and sweet, and she could feel her cheeks flushing slightly as the shame settled inside her. She never thought she would need to do this to survive— any act of caring as soft and simple as this was, she thought of only brutal killing and lies, and manipulation would be in her way to survive inside the Arena. Inside the Capitol, the games she was unlucky enough to get dragged to.
What she hated the most was that the red in her cheeks was not only from the shame of her actions but also because the kiss was close to his mouth, the corner of his lips to be exact. And his lips were soft against hers, warm. Someone with the name Snow shouldn’t have to be so fucking warm.
He turns to stone for a split second, calculating her actions and why she did them, she thinks with dread growing in the pit of her stomach. Maybe he had seen behind her façade and would kill her right away— suddenly he lunges at her, his hands grabbing her jaw and neck like he is about to smash his forehead against her head violently and aggressively, maybe breaking her skull against the white wall behind the bed painting them red with her soft and red insides…but he kisses her. His thumb goes to her cheek, feeling up and then pressing the line where her teeth would be closed, and he makes her mouth slightly open for him. It easily opens with how caught off guard she was.
It’s like he is breathing her in through his mouth for a second before he devours her.
Oh. Oh. This was happening. Really happening.
After some seconds, she tries to at least mimic him, his tongue licks the top of her mouth and she tries to push his tongue against hers instead, her hands going to grip his shirt for some stability. She didn’t know how to act now, she was losing her advantage, her calm and collected self, and he was slowly peeling off her armour.
His hand caresses her neck, and she shivers, he is sure to notice this as he gives a breathy laugh against her mouth, and she flushes more. Did he know she was inexperienced? Was he mocking her? Her shame-filled mind didn’t let her finish her train of thought as he continued with his advances. His other hand takes this chance to feel her up better, pushing against the softness of her chest and her heartbeat goes faster, her eyes wider. Were they…? No, he wouldn't— He closes his hand around her breast, a groan of his going straight to her core and she trembles. No no no she can’t feel like this, not with him. Her racing mind makes her grip his shoulder, and her other hand pushes his chest a little, making him stop his actions altogether. He looks down at her with half-lidded eyes, his breathing fixing with hers.
“What’s wrong?” He says with a slightly raspier voice, his hand resting on her hip bone, finger instinctively drawing circled in her skin trying to soothe her and she hated it because it helped. She was wide-eyed with flushed skin and trembling body, her look deeply satisfying him, but of course, he wasn’t going to say anything that could make her run away from him like a scared small animal.
“Well— aren’t we…” She thinks over her words, “going too fast?” He arches an eyebrow at his, amusement dancing in his face, “You want to stop?” He looks into her eyes and then down at her trembling body, the hand resting on her neck moving down to hoover around her breast. “You seem,” He pauses a little, like he is tasting the words “very responsive” Her gaze looks at where he is looking and if she wasn’t flustered now she is, her nipples visible against her thin shirt, dammed chic and thin Capitol clothes that can even show the slight curve of bones and prickled flesh.
“…this is— a normal bodily reaction, nothing more” she mutters quickly, sniffing as her gaze looks away from him, she heard him hum and his warmth again in the softness of her skin, her hardened bud being once again teased with his thumb. She feels herself move at the sudden contact, her eyes going to him.
“There you go, no looking away— Victor” He drops his face closer to her chest, his warm breath hitting her clothed flesh, and she stirs a breath at the picture. His slick hair perfectly placed as his mouth rounds the plush of her breast, lips slightly glistening with both of their saliva mixed together. She gulps a noise that threatens to come out and as she feels his tongue roll against her bud, her hand goes to his hair, trying to pull his away from her too sensitive skin.
His hands go to the end of her shirt and pull it up, making a temporary barrier for her hands so he can mouth her again, this time as his wet muscle makes contact with her nipple a breathy gasp escapes her mouth. Her hand puts the thin shirt out of her vision, his hand already taking care of the other bud of nerves, and her hand goes once again to his hair. As she slightly pulls it he groans, biting her and groaning a warning, not enough to inflict pain but enough to get a whine out of her throat.
“Shit—” Her hand eases on his hair, only pulling him against her as he takes his mouth away from her nipple, going to the other. He mouths against her with a moan and her thighs close together, he must have noticed this because one hand moves to her thighs, getting his hand between them.
“We aren’t stopping,” He groaned as the inside of his hand palms her through her panties, wet from arousal “fuck…” Her eyes shot to his, shocked to hear someone so collected with his words curse “so wet already” She was sure she could hear a smirk in his words, but he was moving his lips against her skin, his face hidden as he kept her trembling with his mouth and hands. He was meticulous with this like he had all of this planned, her mind didn’t let her think much however, analyse what was happening, her eyes focusing on his pale and shiny hair and moving down and down on her.
“I can’t stay,” She says with a tremble to her voice as she feels his hardened length against her thigh, her voice trembling as she feels the hardness much bigger and thicker than she anticipated. “I will be going back to my District—” Her heart was fast like she was running in the Arena again. This was something she knew if they continued, he wouldn’t let her go, she could see it in his eyes. She wanted to belong, to be part of yes, but the way he looked at her was like…she was a part of himself, like something that was already his and it scared her. It scared her thinking of losing the little freedom she had, the little freedom any District person had. It scared her to not being able to see her family. But what scared her more than anything was that thinking about it, actually putting her mind to it, she didn’t mind it much.
It scared her, she didn’t mind being owned if this was going to be her life. She wouldn’t starve, she didn’t need to provide for her family, he would take care of them. Taking care of everything that it was her responsibility her whole life. She quickly understood that…
Being owed would be much easier than being free.
And even if the idea was fucked up, and she knew it was, it was still the truth. She was scared about this kind of relationship, not of him she knew he wouldn’t hurt her(right?) but how far he would…well, go for anything if needed.
His hand gripped her thighs as his chin rested on one of her knees, his piercing blue eyes looking up at her with amusement.
“We both know you already made up your mind,” His blunt nails pressed against her skin, surely marking her with crescent moons.
“The moment I got to read your file, actually see you…I knew you were meant to be mine” That was…before the games were even over? Before the games themselves started. Her eyebrows furrow down at him, and he gives her a half smile, “How popular were you during the games, do you remember?” He mumbles as his hands rest on the mattress under her, on the side of her hips. “Not very, you didn’t perform, didn’t talk much.” He continues with his words as he slowly comes up to her face like a predator closing on their prey. “You kept to yourself to strike and kill fast— not doing alliances…”
“How do you think you got water from sponsors? The medicine and…your well-beloved and helpful small knife?” A chill runs down her spine as she looks at him with new information given to her “The knife was the most expensive thing since it was actually ‘illegal’ to send the tributes something something like that” His lips touch hers again and his knee goes between her legs, spreading them apart and getting them between him. “Did you know that?” He muses with calculating eyes, the mental breakdown he had was long forgotten like it never happened and Snow was looking at her, his prize.
“Now,” His eyes darken with still hidden information he has yet to give. “won’t you thank your sponsor?” He breathes against her lips with his eyes looking straight at her, his knee rubbing her clothed sex.
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rowretro · 5 months
Note
If your requests are open, can I get hard yandere Jake or Ni-Ki where they punish reader for escaping and staying with one of their friends?
𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌…
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✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, mentions of blood, manipulation(?), shirtless-ish riki, somewhat gore, mentions of sex
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"Oh my sweet little y/n... I knew you were stupid but for you to be this stupid?!..." Riki tutted, a mocking pout on his lips, his shirt drenched with the blood of someone you called a friend. He barely knew you, yet he befriended you just because he knew you were in the danger of Riki. Your stupid self just had to believe Riki wouldn't know that the motherfucker would be keeping you in his house.
He was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, words can not explain how bad of a decision she made. Riki wasn't too into murdering people or ripping them apart, but for her? god a little blood on his hands was nothing let alone stabbing a dagger with her name encrypted into this so called friend of hers? heck he could even leave the body out because not even a family member was there to want him.
"Oh well... he lived a miserable life anyway.... this was your fault y/n. You know better than to trust a strangers word over mine. Fuck the fact you trusted another man. went into his house. wore his shirt. AND FUCKING LEFT ME?!" He finally yelled causing her to flinch, he stabbed him crazily as you screamed for him to stop, tears streaming down her cheeks. "STOP CRYING FOR HIM!" he screamed, slapping her painfully on her cheek.
he knelt down before her dark eyes, peircing into her as he groaned, he threw off his shirt "Mother fucker got his filthy blood all over my comfortable t-shirt. The one you should be wearing right now." he sharply said. The man was pissed. He slapped her yet again, ripping off the T-shirt she wore as she carried her and dropped her in the bathtub.
He didn't care that it was hurting her, he turned the tap on as he applied soap to the sponge and aggressively rubbed on her skin. "I know you wouldn't sleep with him. But you still hugged him. You still went in his house and sat on his rubbish sofa. Fuck imagine all the germs in that shithole you went to." He spat as he chucked the sponge at her and yanked her hair. "Clean yourself up and go to bed." He simply said before leaving the restroom.
"Oh no... I hurt my poor y/n oh sweetie... You need to know what you did is awful... you need to feel the pain I did... but I won't make it hurt as much as you hurt me because I love you... you can tell me anything.... did you have sex with this fucker?! is that why you're wearing his ugly shirt?!!!" Riki asked, as She stared in horror, and disgust. Riki chuckled
That very night, was the first time Riki hurt her, though it hurt him more to hurt her. He stepped out of the shower, smiling as he saw Y/n sitting on his bed, wearing his sweater, how it fell just off of her shoulder, her tears gone as she reached out to hug him, she just needed comfort... and she accepted her fate.
"So cute, I know you won't do something like that with some low life... awww my sweet innocent y/nie, so vulnerable and gullible, sweetheart, he's a pervert, he lied to you, he did this so he can use your precious body. You know I've never done and never will do that you know why? because I love you..." Riki explained as he cradled her in his arms.
He palnted soft kisses on her face "Oh my poor darling y/n... don't ever leave me... I can't live without you!" He said as Y/n placed a soft kiss on his plump lips, giving into his toxic love. She can't help it though... isn't it a good thing that he'd even kill for her?.... so many men have only hurt her, humiliated her or wanted to hook up with her but Riki... Riki loves her...
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merakiui · 10 months
Note
we know and love our breeding obsessed tweels .. but there’s an obvious candidate whom I haven’t seen given much attention.. and it’s our favourite apple <3
back in harveston, it’s been mentioned how there isn’t much youngins around .. apart from epel and his cousin .. but in terms of ppl his age??? 0 … so it’d be easy for his family to talk him into stuffing you full and getting you pregnant when you come visit one day… you don’t know that epel secretly introduced you to his family as his wife .. and that the analytical eyes they give you and your body was bcs they wanted to see just how many kids you could handle birthing naturally at a time… truly terrifying how they put this much thought into the time you need to rest before being full with his baby again .. bcs they don’t do hospitals but instead the women in the family use their knowledge (midwivery) to advise you </3
aa just the thought of epel and his family peer pressuring you into giving them kids and continuing the family line has you feeling all guilty </3 like it doesn’t matter what u want bcs you’d be doing it for the betterment of the village! how they convince u that eventually, when u become a mother, you’d find happiness that comes w it .. (silly reader … your choice and wants never even mattered in the first place! bcs if you showed resistance they’d just drug u and put u to sleep w epel’s unique magic and get u pregnant anyways </3)
truullyyy terrifying! beware of dear grandma’s sad puppy dog eyes knowing u refuse to give her great-grandkids! (lies … she knows what she’d doing </3)
also! can I be epel felmier anon? 🍎💜
OMG THE SOMNO POTENTIAL WITH EPEL'S UM........ how could I have missed it,,, it's literally called Sleep Kiss. T_T uuuwaaaa Epel wanting to practice his UM and you agree to let him practice it on you because surely it won't have any negative impacts, right? But he puts you to sleep and somno ensues...... or he puts you to sleep and the other first years are around as well. >_< you're like a practice pussy for them......
If anyone's going to gaslight and manipulate you into having children, it's all of Harveston. ;;;;; and most of them do it unintentionally. They just think it's so darling Epel has a best friend (read: wifey) like you who is the sweetest thing they've ever met. You and Epel make such a cute couple (of hopefully expecting parents). All of Harveston dotes on you, showering you with affection every time you visit. You're practically part of the village by now. Whenever you come to visit, whether for a holiday or a break, Marja always welcomes you with open arms, as does the rest of Epel's family. But it's Marja who is especially pleased to see you. She checks you over, asks if you've been eating well at NRC, asks if Epel's been looking out for and taking care of you, and so on.
I feel like the entire village would throw such a huge celebration when you finally become pregnant. They make such an event out of it; it startles you at first, but Epel explains this is just because there are so few children around and everyone, especially the elders, are so very excited to finally see the village grow and become more lively with young folks! You'll have everyone's full support before, during, and after your pregnancy! They are just so fond of you and are always encouraging you to eat lots (of foods that improve fertility, but you don't need to know that...).
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asmallmoon333 · 6 months
Text
Another Death Note AU I love to think about: Fem!Light x Male!L.
I adore these two in any form, but the potential of this dynamic in particular had me thinking plots that had my brain noodles excited since way back when I was in the middle of writing Time Speaks.
Now, L's gender wouldn't change anything about him, not really, but Light? Oh, it would be a whole new act for her to put on. And with L still male, it ensures it's not just a repeat of canon, but a whole new exploration of their characters, their dynamic, and the world they live in.
So in this AU, we have a Light Yagami who grew up in a society that told her she was lesser. That implied her gender was predictive of her place and abilities. But she wouldn't actually have a lot of anger about her gender I feel, since that goes against her natural feelings of superiority based on her intellect, so she'd just see it as the world being wrong as usual (rotten, if you will). She would look down on men for how easy they were to manipulate; not that anyone else would ever see these thoughts. Except Sayu, who Light raises with care.
Now, while said world would make it harder for her to rise up, Light is someone who gets what she wants and thrives on a challenge. She would use gender as her stepping stone, playing the "good girl" role to perfection.
And she'd be so very good at it. A much better manipulator than male Light.
Now, when she gets the Death Note, the story goes about the same at the start because Light Yagami is Light Yagami regardless.
Then in comes L, the first person who bested her, the first person she hates, and the plot changes. L is the only person, the only man, who looks at her and sees Kira. The only man who is deadpanned and blank to her "good girl" act and meets her provocation for provocation. Infuriating her every time they meet simply by being as smart as she is. By looking at her pointedly crossed arms, at her 'casual' forward-leaning posture, at her inviting smile--and blandly asking if her back hurts like his sometimes does.
How dare he.
How dare he see and value and fear her for her intelligence? He is certain she is Kira despite how aghast every other man and woman in her life is about the very idea of it.
They call L mad. Sexist. He ignores them and insists he's right, that no one else could be Kira but Light. That she's perfect.
And Light? She hates him for seeing through her. He scares her right back.
But she also can't stop herself from craving the acknowledgement.
The game between them would be so different and yet just as complicated this time, because while the two of them don't care about gender, they know this about each other, the rest of the world is not at their level and can't stop their bias about it. And Light uses that to her advantage; Kira will use any shield.
While L will do his best to strip her bare of all her lies.
So Light plays with the world's perceptions of womanhood in her war against L, using her 'weak' gender and 'need for protection' to manipulate the police against him. While L continues to pursue his Kira with a single-minded focus and certainty. He knows it's her.
But now he has to work even harder to prove it because no one is willing to listen to him. He has no proof, and in this universe, that means a lot more to the task force.
Light is smug about this, internally of course. She sweetly tells him to give up and start looking for the 'real' Kira.
L blinks at her and says he'll give up when she stops being a serial killer.
Light hates him.
But she also can't stop thinking about him. She can't stop revelling in how he sees her like no one else was ever willing to. And she eventually decides that she'll get him to give into her too, like she's gotten everyone else in her life. She'll make him admit he wants her, too. That he's human just like they all are, that he has feelings. (Just like she does).
She'll give him her attention in a way no one else has ever deserved. And L better appreciate it.
And after that? She'll kill him, of course.
She's Kira. She's pitiless. She plays to win.
But she might as well...enjoy L while he's here.
He's the only one she'd ever want to have in that way.
As for L? Well he's more than willing to play along, in any and all ways Light wants. He's seen her from the start, seen Kira behind her sweet smile, and he's entranced by her as always. He'd want her in any form, and gender is just one more tool of the brilliant mind he'll always be obsessed with, in any universe.
And he's absolutely thrilled at this game.
So, yeah!! I love this AU and one day, I'll write it, but for now thank you to the amazing artist @thanatelle who inspired these current thoughts! His work is so good <3
Fem!Light and Male!L are so very fun.
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wasawattpadkid · 1 year
Text
Housewife
Part - 14
Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?
Pairing: Poly! ghostface x fem!reader
Warnings for this series: ⚠️smut 18+⚠️ murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, homophobic slang, explicit boyxboy, oral (male and fem! receiving), fingering (fem! receiving), the word "rapist" is used once as a joke by Stu way before any smut begins, p in v, safe sex, foul language, voyeurism (?)
Part 1
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The car purred as they drove down the highway. You were cuddled up in the back with Stu as Billy drove home. "Do you love me?" The question was so random Billy almost thought he was hearing things. "Huh?" Stu patted your hair as he looked out the window. "It's fine if you don't, I just wanted to know." It wasn't fine if he didn't. Stu knew he loved Billy unconditionally. It was almost obsessive the way he adored that boy. As Stu looked at your sleeping form he started to think about how he felt like he loved you. It wasn't the same sort of love he had for Billy. No, he hadn't known you long enough to feel that way. Stu would kill for you but that didn't mean much coming from him. He knew if a car was coming towards you he'd push you out of the way even if it meant killing him. Was that love or just being suicidal?
Billy looked at his friend in the mirror seeing his gaze focused outside. "Why would you ask that?" Billy wasn't mad or upset by the question just startled. He didn't do feelings. Sure, he had them but he wishes he didn't. They tend to overcomplicate things.
"I don't see how this relationship is going to work out if you don't love me. I've seen the way you look at her. Tonight when we were playing games at the arcade you stared at her like she was the only person on earth. You don't look at me like that. I-I just need to know if it's because I'm not new or you don't love me."
His words were strange to Billy. Never in their expansive time of knowing each other did they have heart to hearts. Billy was raised not to cry and not to reach out. Being upset meant you were acting like a child. "To be honest I don't know." Billy tried to pick his words carefully not because he was trying to manipulate but rather because he was trying to tell the truth. After so many lies he found it hard to understand what the truth was. "You don't know?" Stu couldn't grasp how someone couldn't know if they were in love or not.
"I don't know. I thought I loved Sydney but maybe I did get bored. You know that scares the shit out of me. Getting tired of you and Y/n? What if I wake up one day and the smell of her cooking disgusts me? What- what if I can't stand the sound of your voice anymore? I don't want to lose this. I had the best time of my fucking life tonight but oh it might not matter down the road because I got too comfortable." Billy's hand hit the steering wheel in anger. The more Billy talked the more he pissed himself off. Stu tilted his head like a dog processing everything he just learned. "You love us." Stu said a smile playing at his lips. Billy's face contorted in confusion. He just hit the steering wheel in anger but Stu was in the back seat blushing.
"How do you know?" Billy turned the corner focusing back on the road. "If you're worried about losing us then obviously you love us at least a little bit." Billy doubted it was that simple. Nothing ever was. Stu was always an optimistic person. He thought everything would work out eventually. That's not how life worked. "If you say so." The car pulled into the driveway and then the garage. "She's still asleep should I wake her up?" Billy shook his head. "No she's been taking care of our asses all week she needs the rest. Just pack her upstairs and put her to bed." Stu gently pulled you out of the car carrying you like a bride into the house.
Carefully he made it up the steps watching so he wouldn't accidentally hit your head. He nudged your bedroom door open with his boot trying not to make too much noise. Stu laid you in bed as comfortably as he could. You looked so peaceful to him. He pulled the covers up over you making sure to tuck you in. Stu pressed a kiss to your forehead before he left the room shutting the door behind him.
"She still asleep?" Billy asked as he folded up the basket of laundry you left out. "I thought she was dead for a second." The joke went over Billy's head causing concern. "I'm kidding she's fine. She drools in her sleep." Stu said making Billy laugh. "Did you have fun tonight?" The dark-haired boy was trying to make this work. Stu sat on the couch leaving Billy to fold up clothes. "I had a wonderful time especially since I absolutely demolished your ass in Mortal Kombat." Billy just rolled his eyes telling himself he let his partner win. "You looked good tonight." Stu glanced up in shock. He wasn't the complimenting type and he sure as hell never complimented Stu.
Billy kept his eyes on the clothes not wanting to make eye contact with Stu. This was what actual couples did right? "Thank you." The room was silent. Stu thought of his words before he said them. "You looked handsome tonight too." Handsome. The word made something turn inside Billy. For a second it felt like he couldn't breathe. Maybe he was going to vomit? "Thanks." Was all Billy could come with. It was unbearably awkward but Stu couldn't help but smile. "Do you need help folding? I can't do shirts but I can do pants."
You woke up in a hot sweat. It felt like you had died. If someone asked what year it was you couldn't tell them. The last thing you remember was eating food at a restaurant with Billy and Stu. "Damnit." You rubbed your eyes trying to see in the dark room. The clock said it was 11 o'clock but it felt like you'd been asleep for days. You threw on an unflattering nightgown before you headed downstairs. The boys laughed while watching some loud TV show.
"She's alive!" Stu exclaimed like he was Dr. Frankenstein. "How'd you sleep?" Billy asked looking at your disheveled state. "Water." You rasped walking like the grim reaper over to the sink. Cold tap water seemed to coat your throat helping you wake up just a little bit more. You walked over to the couch throwing yourself on top of the men. "What are you watching?" You asked as Stu giggled at some guy getting hit over the head on screen. "The Monkees! It comes on your old lady channel. I haven't seen it since I was a kid." You looked over at Billy seeing him shrug his shoulders. "He's been laughing for the past 30 minutes."
"You're not hard to please huh?" Stu pinched the tip of your nose. "Obviously not, I'm with you aren't I?" You faked a laugh as you stared at the tv. Stu's hand ran up and down your leg just like it had the first night they came over. His eyes were glued to the TV laughing every time something even remotely funny happened. Billy would chuckle just because his friend was laughing. There was something different between them but you couldn't put your finger on it. The date night you had might've had some effect. All three of you felt closer, it felt more normal if that was even a possibility.
"I think I want to have sex with you two." You blurted making both men freeze. You immediately covered your face regretting speaking. "Like right now?" Stu asked ready to strip. "No, well, oh I don't know." You groaned with embarrassment. Billy stayed quiet letting you say everything you wanted to. You sat up on the couch looking at the two men sitting beside each other. "Couples have sex right?" They nodded in unison. "We're like a couple right?" They nodded even quicker trying to fill in the blanks for you. "So we should have sex-" Stu reached to take off his shirt but you stopped him. "At some point." You finished making the boy frown.
"Why'd you bring this up?" Billy asked. Between you and Stu randomly bringing up touchy subjects he was liable to get whiplash. You rubbed your face with your hands trying to get a grip. "I was just thinking about it. I have been... thinking about it." Stu knew if anyone could overcomplicate sex it'd be you. "Guys I'm scared."
It was the honest truth. You were terrified. "Of what?" The tone Stu had seemed to dismiss whatever emotion you felt. "Nothing it's dumb." You stood up only to be pulled back down by Billy. "No talk to us. What are you scared of?" Billy made demanding eye contact with you just to show he took this conversation seriously this time. "You?" The word came out like a question. That question seemed to negatively affect both boys. Stu was gutted that you were scared of him even worse that it was sex-related. You grabbed Billy and Stu's hands not wanting them to think it was all their fault. "Men in general are scary. I'm not scared of you exactly more of what you could do." That somehow made less sense to them both.
"Stu, do you remember the other night when we were wrestling?" He smiled remembering how funny that whole thing was. "Yeah, I beat your ass." He said proudly. Billy seemed to understand what you were getting at by Stu's response. "I could give it my all and you both could still trap me. I don't stand a chance and it's frightening. What if in the middle of it all you decide to-" Billy moved forward putting both of his hands on your arms. "We would never do that." Stu scoffed sitting up next to you. "Yeah we may be killers but we're not rapists." Billy looked at Stu like he could kill him making the boy sit back and shut up.
"Y/n I'm really trying," Billy spoke as you nodded. "I've noticed." He smiled continuing his speech. "I don't and would never want to hurt you. That night that Stu's place I couldn't put you through that pain." He gestured to your closed-up wound. "I know but I joke around a lot. I say I'm into chains and whips but I'm scared of all of that. I don't want to feel like I'm stuck and with two of you it's pretty damn intimidating." You had got this idea in your head that anything intimate with the men would leave you used and torn apart.
"I joke around like crazy you don't think I'm being serious do you?" Both you and Billy looked at Stu. "Wow tell me what you really think." You laughed making Stu smile at his accomplishment. "Hey." Billy's hand rested on the side of your face pulling your attention back to him. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Do you understand?" The words were sharp but they weren't angry. Billy meant what he said. As long as he was living no one would lay a finger on you besides him and Stu. You nodded as he smiled. "Wait so are we sleeping together or?" Stu was just really confused. Before Billy could smack him you stood up. "I'm going to take a shower and freshen up. You two can do whatever you want." Without looking at the men you walked upstairs heading to your bathroom.
Billy jumped off the couch making Stu sit up. "What? What's wrong?" Stu asked looking up at the man. "She said she's going to freshen up." Billy shook his hands for emphasis. He could see Stu simply wasn't getting it. "That's like the universal term for "we're going to have sex." How do you not know that?" Stu stood up a small "pfft" leaving his mouth. "No the universal term for we're going to have sex is "Hey we're going to have sex."" Billy's palm slapped his forehead before dragging down his face. "Listen just go clean up and change I'm going to take care of a couple things." With a nod, Stu went off to his room.
Billy waited on the stairs till he heard the water start to run. Your room was empty but the record you played was loud. The Smashing Pumpkins vinyl spun around letting Billy's favorite song play. He could barely hear you humming the words in the bathroom. You remembered. That fact made his heart seem to swell. It wasn't what you normally listened to. All he heard the past week was what you called "classics." Now there you were in the privacy of your room listening to his favorite album. With a smile, he got to work. The first thing he did was make your bed. Once it was neat he made sure the room looked comfortable. He noticed the candle you had sitting on your dresser. Billy headed downstairs to ask Stu for his lighter.
Stu's bedroom door opened hitting Billy with a cloud of cologne. "Jesus fucking Christ!" The boy cursed waving a hand in front of his face. "Too much?" Stu asked innocently. Billy huffed not having time to deal with him. "She's not going to let you in the room let alone her bed smelling like that." Stu thought he smelt good, you had complimented him on his cologne before. "Change your shirt and pants and air out this damn room." Billy was about to leave before remembering why he came down there in the first place. "Oh, I need your lighter." Stu dug through his dresser tossing the skull-covered lighter to the man. "What do you need that for?" Stu pointed towards the object. "I'm going to light a candle." Stu held up his hand covering his mouth with a laugh. Billy's face dropped at his friend's laughter. "Shut it fuckrag." Billy pointed at Stu but it didn't stop him from laughing.
Upstairs you had already stepped out of the shower pulling the cap off your head. You hung the shower cap up before wrapping a towel around your frame. You didn't know what to expect. Billy's little speech downstairs did wonders for your nerves. Were you still terrified? Yes but for some dumb reason, you trusted them. You had this nagging feeling you'd regret it. You willed yourself to believe in the fantasy land you've created. Sex wasn't something you'd grown accustomed to. That day playing truth or dare barely felt real. There wasn't much emotion behind it just teenage hormones. You weren't upset about it you just hoped this would be different. As your skin dried off you slipped a pair of underwear on covering them with one of Stu's shirts.
Billy sat at the edge of your bed biting his nails. He had to repeatedly tell himself he was trying to be better, to do what you asked. As you walked out of the bathroom he stood up. You could tell he was nervous by the way his eyes darted back and forth between you and the door. "I thought we could talk. You like talks right?" His smile was tight as he raised his eyebrows. You saw your bedroom door was closed completely leaving Stu out of the conversation. "I'm fine with talking but we made it a rule to include everyone when we talked." Billy watched as you walked over to your record player. The way you took care of the fragile vinyl said something about your character, at least he thought it did. "I know but I already asked Stu if it was okay and he said it was."
"I get that but we should have conversations together." Billy grew impatient. "Just!" The word was loud scaring him when he said it. You looked at him waiting for him to fix his tone before speaking to you. "Just.. please? I need to talk to you alone." You put the record on the shelf debating on talking to him in private. Billy was a complicated man. You didn't want to throw away the chance of getting him to open up. "Okay. What do you need to talk about?" You walked over to Billy's side sitting down with him at the foot of the bed. "You want this to be equal. Meaning this is a group effort right?"
"This?" You asked as Billy's leg bounced with anxiety. That little voice in his head told him he couldn't do this. "Sex." Was all he said. "I would like it to be that way, yes. I don't want anyone feeling left out." He nodded understanding what you meant. You couldn't begin to grasp how difficult this conversation was to him.
"Look if you want us to sleep with you that's fine but I don't want this thing me and Stu do to disturb you." His wording was intentional. To him sex with you was normal but sex with Stu was just a "thing." It was shameful to him. "I-I um..." He ran a hand through his hair keeping his eyes on the ground. "I don't want you to look at me differently after this." You didn't know what to say to make it better. There was no easy fix. Billy raised his arms in surprise as you wrapped your arms around him. His arms slowly found their way around you hugging you back. It was comforting. Billy didn't like hugs. This one however made him feel safe. You had him and you weren't letting go. Who he is didn't seem to bother you and knowing that lifted a weight off his shoulders. "Should I let Stu in now?" He spoke gently.
You nodded pulling back from the boy. Billy stood up opening the bedroom door. Stu came tumbling into the room. "I didn't hear anything." He swore picking himself off the ground. "Not for lack of trying." You smiled knowing Stu was eavesdropping. Billy made sure to close the door behind Stu locking it in place. The action wasn't lost on you. Something was different. Billy had no problem with what happened in your living room just weeks ago. The fact he was locking your bedroom door knowing no one else was in the house was odd. It was for security you supposed. The reassurance that no one could walk in. Your curtains were also closed but you knew you left them open just a few hours earlier.
"Here ya go." Stu pitched Billy a small bottle. "What's that?" You asked getting a quick and easy answer from Stu. "Oh, it's lube." He pulled two condoms from his pocket sitting them on your nightstand. You were out of your element. "If you don't want to do this I need you to let me know." Stu said wanting your full consent. This was a first for all of you, he didn't want to mess it up. "I want this, it just feels like you're both prepping for surgery."
Billy held the bottle in tight hands hoping to warm up the cold liquid inside. Stu chuckled finding his spot next to you on the bed. "I get that trust me but none of us here want kids yet and the lube is just to make sure you're comfortable."
Yet. The word pulled at pieces of Billy's brain. The thought of having kids was not something he wanted to worry about right now. With a shake of the head, he walked over to both of you. "Listen, we don't have to do this." Billy still had this unremitting feeling that things would change. You'd see him as some perverted homo and wouldn't want him near you again. He was ashamed of who he was and what he did but if you wanted this he'd do it. Both men looked at you trying to pick up on any signs of hesitation.
Stu was careful about consent the last time anything happened between the three of you. His behavior hadn't changed any. Billy's new behavior was something to get used to. His nail-biting, soft-spoken nature was different than the rude and demanding one you had got to know. "I want to do this but if one of you is uncomfortable we can just go to bed. You don't have to sleep downstairs." The promise of just sleeping next to you was tempting for Billy. He knew this would have to happen sooner or later. "I'm ready whenever you two are." Stu said as he peeled his shirt off. Billy slipped the bottle into his pocket before leaning down to you.
"I need you to say it."
His face was serious but not cold. "Say what?" The air between you two was nearly suffocating. Billy's voice was low as he spoke. "I need you to say you want this, you want me." Billy's hands rubbed the soft skin on your thighs as Stu stripped down to his underwear. You looked at his hands the eye contact quickly becoming intimidating. "I want-"
"Look at me, please." With a shaky breath, you looked back up meeting Billy's eyes. "I need this. I need you, Billy." There it was. That possessive glint you'd seen before. Any minute now he'd be demanding and rough. His lips softly pressed against yours. The kiss was slow and careful. Billy tried to remember the way your lips felt in case you threw him out after tonight. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip signaling your lips to part. Billy pulled away smiling at the love-drunk look on your face. "Let me help with that." Stu helped pull your shirt over your head leaving you in just your panties. "I was right. You look even better out of my shirt." Stu said making your cheeks heat up. Billy's shirt was the next to go. Stu cupped your chin before leaning in to kiss you. It was hungrier than the kiss before.
Billy watched his two partners with some semblance of pride. They were his. For how long he wasn't sure. In the end, it didn't matter because right now in this bedroom, he had them and for some reason, they agreed to have him. Stu squeezed your breast making a small noise leave your lips. Billy went back to work pulling down the fabric that hugged your hips. You raised up just enough to make his job easier. He tossed the underwear in the same spot his shirt had landed.
Stu laid back on the bed taking you with him. For a split second, you forgot Billy was even there. He made his presence known by pressing a kiss to your abdomen. Then another on your hip. Stu broke the kiss watching the scene next to him. You looked down at Billy as he littered your skin with kiss after kiss. He eventually made his way down pressing a kiss on your folds. Stu saw the way your chest jumped ever so slightly. He wondered if he told you how beautiful you were today but even if he did it wasn't nearly enough. As Billy's tongue ran up and down your folds, his eyes flickered up toward Stu. Your soft moans accompanied by Billy's gaze made his cock twitch. Stu picked your hand up moving it where he needed you most. Softly you began rubbing him through his boxers feeling him strain against the fabric. The moan that came from Stu made you continue your movements. It was hard to focus with Billy going at you like a man starved. Billy's eyes would go back and forth mainly focused on the man you helped please.
Being watched stirred something in Stu and Billy noticed. The short-haired boy removed his underwear with haste needing to feel you against his skin. Your hand wrapped perfectly around his cock. The pumps were gentle at first not knowing what Stu liked. His moans and the quiet chant of your name kept your hand moving. Billy pulled your clit between his lips making your back arch off the bed. Stu let out a lustful cry at the feeling of your hand squeezing around him. You didn't mean to do it at first but the new information only helped you tease him. Every few pumps you'd gently squeeze his cock earning a beautiful sound from Stu each time.
Billy's tongue continued its assault as he slowly pushed two fingers into your cunt. Hearing the sounds you made mixed with Stu's was enough to make him cum right then and there. It took everything in him not to. Billy smiled against you feeling your hips try to meet the thrust of his fingers. He doubted you were even aware of what you were doing. Too busy pleasing the man next to you. Your free hand tugged on Billy's hair needing more of him. Billy pulled out his fingers before moving to stand up. You groaned at the loss. With his eyes on you, Billy sucked his fingers clean of your slick even a soft moan could be heard like it was the best thing he's ever tasted.
"We've got to take turns right? Everything has to be fair and equal?" He teased moving in front of Stu. The boy looked at Billy silently asking him if he was sure he wanted to do this. Billy motioned his head upwards telling Stu to sit up. The boy complied sitting on the edge of the bed. You sat up making sure you didn't miss anything. Billy took a deep breath seeing you watch him. He knelt in front of Stu grabbing the man's erection. "Ah!" Stu exclaimed looking down at the man in front of him. With a trained hand, Billy stroked Stu's cock.
You squeezed your thighs together at the sight. Billy leaned forward spitting on the tip letting the liquid run slowly down the veins. Using his hand he pumped Stu's cock the spit making it easier for his hand to slide up and down. He knew what spots to pay attention to. Stu's moans were louder than before. His abs were prominent as his muscles tightened. Billy with a sly grin licked a stripe from the base to the tip. He kept his eyes on Stu not being able to look up at you. Stu turned his head pressing his lips to yours. He moaned into your mouth as Billy wrapped his lips around the tip of his cock. His tongue swirled around making Stu's hips jerk. Stu's breath was uneven as his chest heaved up and down.
"Fuck." Stu cursed against your lips as Billy slid his mouth over the man's length. With a moan, Stu's head fell back leaving you to watch them without interruption. Billy could feel your eyes burn into his skin. That insecurity slowly started to creep back up distracting him from the man under his touch.
Stu grabbed your hand squeezing as his orgasm rapidly approached. "I-I'm going to cum." Stu warned with a whine. Billy continued sucking knowing if he didn't there would be a mess to clean up. His eyes closed tight as Stu cried out. Stu chanted a mixture of your and Billy's names. Billy let Stu ride out his orgasm before he looked to the floor swallowing the evidence of the sinful act. Stu laid back on the bed letting the newfound clarity wash over him. Billy's lips were swollen and his cheeks were red. You'd never seen him look like this until now.
Billy didn't dare look up knowing he'd see the disgust in your eyes. "Billy?" Hearing his name made him feel sick. You waited for him to look at you but he refused. He rubbed his eyes wanting to erase everything that had just happened. Billy looked up immediately apologizing for something he didn't need to. You cut him off grabbing his face and pressing your lips on his. You could taste Stu on his lips and it spurred you on more. Billy was shocked. You broke the kiss to look at him. "I need you." Your hands tugged on the waistband of his jeans greedily. How was he supposed to be calm and careful when you acted like this?
"Say it again." His voice was low and demanding making your cunt throb. "I need you." You happily repeated yourself seeing the way it brought his confidence back. Billy stood up unbuckling his belt right in front of you. You focused on the way his hands pulled the leather off with ease. He grabbed the bottle of lube tossing it on the bed. His jeans were quickly discarded along with his underwear.
You looked at Billy's naked form growing embarrassed by the view. "Baby throw me one of those." Billy pointed towards the condoms. Stu was happy to toss the package over. He was well aware of how hard it was for Billy to do what he did. Stu no longer felt like a dirty secret. You crawled up onto the bed as Billy opened the black wrapper. "Here lift your hips up." Stu grabbed a pillow slipping it between you and the bed. The feeling of your hips in the air was odd but you figured Stu knew what he was doing.
Billy slid the condom over his length with ease. The man debated on asking you once again if you were alright with this. You wiggled your hips impatiently. That small gesture was all Billy needed. Stu grabbed the lube squirting a little in his hand. He kissed your neck as his fingers smeared the jelly over your entrance. Billy crawled on the bed settling between your legs. Stu's eyes watched as Billy lined himself up with your cunt. You closed your eyes scared of the pain you've heard so many people talk about. Stu continued to smother you in affection as Billy slowly pushed into you.
It wasn't near as bad as you expected it to be. You tried not to focus on the stretch as he bottomed out. Billy cursed trying to hold still. "You okay?" Stu asked and you nodded. Billy's hips started to move to find a rhythm you were both comfortable with. Stu wrapped his lips around your nipple getting hit with a feeling of deja vu. Billy held onto your hips as he thrusts into you. He had to remind himself over and over that he needed to be gentle. Stu was used to his partner's fast and rough routine so seeing him struggle was almost humorous.
Your breath hitched as Stu tugged at your breasts. His teeth teased your skin making goosebumps flood your flesh. Billy watched as his partner left small hickies in places no one but the two of them could see. "Faster..." You moaned one hand squeezing Billy's wrist. The man's pace quickened making the sound of skin on skin even louder. It seemed the faster he got the tighter your muscles became. Stu abandoned your side sitting up to kiss the man between your thighs. Billy's free hand wrapped around Stu's throat squeezing just enough to keep him still. You moaned watching the men as Billy's thrusts continued to knock the air out of you. Billy's borderline whimpers did nothing but fuel your arousal. "Don't stop!" You cried out making Billy hold off his orgasm just a little longer.
Both men watched as you came undone around Billy's cock. It was one of the most beautiful things they'd ever seen. Billy's thrusts became rough and erratic as that familiar white-hot pleasure twisted inside of him. With one final thrust, his body trembled. Your name like a prayer was said over and over like it was the only thing he could say. For a brief moment, it was the only word that existed.
You winced as Billy pulled out. Stu fell next to you pressing a kiss to your cheek. "How was it?" He asked knowing the answer from previous experience. Billy tied off the condom before disposing of it in your bathroom. "I can't feel my legs." You giggled making Stu laugh. A warm fuzzy feeling covered your naked body. You weren't sure if it was the sex or the overall love you felt from both men. Stu helped move the pillow out from under your hips. Your legs and arms felt like jelly as you moved to cover yourself underneath the blankets. Stu followed suit huddling up next to your naked frame.
Billy left the bathroom grabbing his underwear from the floor. You groaned as you rolled out of bed needing to use the restroom. "Do you need help?" Billy asked seeing your wobbly legs. "Don't get cocky." You said with a laugh walking toward the bathroom. "I wasn't trying to-" You pressed a kiss to his lips silencing the boy. "I'm just messing with you."
He smiled watching your ass as you walked into the bathroom. The door shut behind you leaving both men to themselves. Stu grinned seeing the look on Billy's face. "You love us." He said feeling that bubbly feeling once again. Billy laughed to himself. "You know, you might be right."
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Taglist (closed): @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @lovekeeho @zeysartzone @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant @briefwinnerpersonaturtle @mistydreamscape @l4venderia @nex-crowley @ashreblogsnow @brynaa223 @your-desire666 @billyloomiswhore4 @holyladyofsorrows @megluv1 @ellieswifeiya @yoluvrz @forallthstarsinthesky @madsothree @youcantbesirius @lubunnii @captainhowdysseptum @geekygremlin @madneedshelp
Part 15
A/N: Sorry that this chapter took so long to unload. Theres some serious character development happening and I wanted to make sure I did the characters justice. Hope you're enjoying the series so far!💕
(if your name has a line through it Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you.)
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Last hope (part 2)
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Characters:yandere Leon S Kennedy (older version) x reader
Disclaimer: This fanfic contains dark-themed topics, such as kidnapping, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-consent, unwanted pregnancy,etc
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. MDNI
Warning: yandere Leon Kennedy, kidnapping, non-consent, depressed reader, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, unwanted pregnancy, emotional & mental abuse, out of character leon, smut etc
@ianrkives credits for the divider, thank you!
The pictures used does not belong to me!!!
Chapters: pt1 pt3
4 months. That's how long Leon kept you in his hell of a house. From being the freest soul on earth, doing whatever you wanted to be kept in a single room with nothing but a bed, and a window.
You learned one or two things about him during the months of “rest” as he says. If you willingly participate in his role-playing scenario, he lets you roam around the house freely with him as a tour guide.
The deep dark circle below your eyes was slowly turning to the same color your cheeks were. During the day you didn't have to feel like a failure, like you always did, whether it was in school, university, or work.
You hated to admit it, but his house seemed like an escape from your busy life. Even if most people would either pity you or see an opportunity to step on you like killing an insect after learning of your past, something about it seemed familiar. Almost as if you wanted to go back to your old life before Leon kidnapped you. Your old life was the escape from your current situation
“Fine,” you thought just before your consciousness went back to remember your accomplishments in life. You're not the kind of person who lies to themselves. You had a pretty hard life. Especially your childhood, which gave you an unhealable wound that would last a lifetime.
Now thinking, it was a silly dream of you to think you would be a famous singer. You sang well, maybe when you were 10, you had to toughen up for the harsh life.
But seriously. How many people become surgeons from a girl who had nothing but a public school education? Do people think it was easy to get a full-ride scholarship? Maybe to some rich kids with ties. But even with words, no one could explain the pain you went through to get here. Just for a random old guy to steal everything you had, just like your mom.
“Oh. Her?” You chuckled to yourself causing Leon to turn in your direction while he typed something on his computer.
She stole you from a good childhood, your first boyfriend, and almost your only chance of escaping her, scholarship. The bitch tried to hide your letters from you, lucky you to have a mother like this. Fortunately, you found them under her bed while she was passed out on the couch 2 days before the due date to respond. And to even think about the time you caught her sleeping with your first boyfriend.
Hope both of them are burning in hell.
All of this suffering, even your mother's failure in becoming a parent could have ended with a simple procedure. But no. Your mom decided to keep a baby she knew she couldn't love and take care of. Hell. You don't even know who your dad was. Or what he looked like.
“What are you smiling at? Baby” Leon came to interrupt your bitter thoughts, pushing back your hair behind the ear.
You stared at him like a beaten cat. Leon was proud of how far you came. From cursing and yelling every second to being calm around him was a big deal to the man.
“You're a happy baby? Is it me? Am I making you happy?” Leon smiled, giving you showers of kisses on your neck, lips, and cheek.
“Yeah,” you replied sarcastically, going back to thinking about yourself.
“Aw, don't be like that. You know daddy does everything to make you happy” Leon said, laying you on the bed, starting to kiss your neck again.
Leon's smile turned to a grin as he saw his angel giggling happily. He slowly crept his hand under your shirt, squeezing a breast in one hand while the other worked to cup your cunt.
“Fuck. What-” you started, the zoning out session interrupted again. As his tongue entered your mouth, you kissed him back out of the habit you developed for the last few months.
“Shh. Daddy got you” he said, pulling away to throw off his shirt before doing the same to yours. His breath hitched as he took in the scene before him. Your two perky nipples reveal themselves to his hungry eyes. He took one in his wet mouth causing you to breathe out heavily.
“Leon-”
He pulled away quickly, raising his eyebrow at you.
“Who?” He muttered. His dear dove rolled her eyes and whispered a nickname he gave himself.
“Louder baby. Daddys can't hear you when you talk like a mouse” he chuckled.
“How much do you want to humiliate me??” You yelled out in weeks for the first time. Leon signed as he realized he had to come to reality to face the truth. The blonde wanted so badly to believe his darling stopped this phase of rage.
“Baby, if you keep acting like a spoiled brat, I would have no choice but to spank you. I know how much you hate it” Leon says calmly.
You thought about the situation for a few seconds before deciding getting spanked was more humiliating.
“Daddy,” you said silently before hiding your face in the pillow.
Leon turned you around and started pulling down the shorts you wore along with your cotton underwear.
Just get it over with.
Leon immediately started to slurp at your cunt before gently biting your clit.
“You were a bad girl today. You know how bad girls get it right?” he says as he pulls down his jeans. Leon groaned as his hard cock slammed against his belly. “Open your eyes, baby,” he says as he lays on top of you.
You hesitantly opened one of your eyes before doing the same to the other, not wanting to get Leon angry.
Around 2 months ago, he slapped you so hard you felt sore in your mouth for 2 days. At the time you felt good causing him pain, even if you got the price. Unfortunately, the price was learning to never bite his dick, or you get slapped across the cheek so hard you fall on the floor.
As you popped your pretty eyes to him, he lined his cock to your entrance, guiding it up and down. The simulation makes both of the pair groan. Leon smirked as he felt slick forming around his dick, making slick sounds.
“No fingering since you were a bad girl. And what bad girls get?” Leon groaned as his tip twitched.
“No prep” you gasped as he pushed it all in one push. Your hands on his chest tried to push him back, causing Leon to lock your hands above your head.
Leon soon started moving, at a pace he felt pleasure. Today was not about you, you needed to learn your lesson. His dove wriggled while moaning.
“Feels good doesn't it? You just gotta ask daddy” Leon groaned as your legs wrapped around his torso.
“D-Daddy…” you whined as he rubbed your clit furiously. The man groaned loudly as you clenched around him, almost making him see stars.
Leon increased his thrusts as his dove started to moan louder than before. Clenching like your life depended on it.
“Daddy… i-im I'm gonna c-cummm” you whined before gushing all over Leon's dick.
“Bad girl. Who allowed you to finish?” he barked, slapping your clit causing you to squirt. He groaned in satisfaction, the feeling of your come with the whine that came out of you, popping the pressure in his lower belly.
You could feel the warm, liquid seeds flowing inside you.
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For the past few hours, you figured the nostalgia you had in mind is not the one most people think it is. You were so used to getting shitty treatments, you started treating yourself like shit. You can't even think of a nice memory without someone stabbing your back.
“Dove, the breakfast is ready. Daddy made you your favorite.” Leon grinned as he placed a plate with some salad and yogurt.
He affectionately stroked your tears-stained cheeks. You sat on the chair, if anyone saw you, they would have thought you didn't have a spine.
You gave up. It was your last breakdown. You promised yourself, that no matter what happens, you are going to go back into your life. Even if it was shitty. You can change the coming events to go back. The future. It was your last hope. For yourself.
But again, it wasn't even clear if you would make it out alive. It was either you kill yourself or giving in to his dreams. If Leon manages to get you to obey his wishes, you will lose yourself. The only thing that you have, your achievements. You loved your career too much to end it like this. All those sufferings can not be meaningless like this. If you have to give up, you should at least try to be free.
Leon noticed the change of attitude you had, from barking at his face or ignoring him completely, you were being a good girl. Helping him clean up the house, letting him kiss you without resistance, and following his rules.
“Daddy… can I… have orange juice…” you muttered, trying not to be embarrassed. Leon's smile grew upon hearing you correctly address him. He pats your head gently before kissing your temple.
Pouring some natural juice he chose at the store in the plastic cup so that his dove can't harm anyone in the process of dining.
You took the cup and sipped the juice as Leon stared at you. Maybe it was time to get to know him more. At least who he was.
“Daddy… Can I ask you something?” You mumbled silently. Leon raised his eyebrows in response. What possibly could his angel be asking him about?
“Yeah… What is it?” Leon asked cautiously, he can't let you know unnecessary details of this evil world filled with a bunch of monsters.
“Um… I… what… what do you… like?” You muttered. You thought getting to know him was easy, asking a few questions and done. Your pathway to freedom, aka your life. It was stupid to ask about his personal life all of a sudden after you didn't give a single shit about him for more than 4 months.
Leon narrowed his eyes, the question was fine but the way you worded it seemed suspicious to him.
“What do I like? About what baby?” Leon asked as he turned his back to you while cleaning the counter as an excuse.
“Um… just what you like to do,” you said while sipping your juice. Why were you so awkward? The real you didn't hesitate to say shit in front of anyone about them. But now you were scared of what he would think of you.
“I love taking care of you, love. Now sleep. It's your bedtime” he smiled as his fingers tapped on his watch indicating 9 pm.
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Shattered Echoes || B. Barnes - Part 2
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Character: Bucky x Reader Summary: Bucky confronts the aftermath of her actions.
Warning: Angst, heartbreak.
Thank you for the fantastic response to "Echoes of Revenge." Many of you have asked for Chapter 2, and here it is!
Part 3: All The Lies
Part 4: Sweetest Dreams
This chapter is full of angst and heartbreak. I hope you enjoy it!
Author's Note: Would you like this to be continued?
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
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The night hung heavy with the weight of unspoken words as Y/N stood at the threshold of her small, now somber home.
She hesitated momentarily, her hand hovering over the doorknob, a harbinger of the impending confrontation awaiting her inside.
As the door creaked open, a chill swept through the room, amplifying the palpable tension in the air.
Bucky stood in the doorway, his presence both familiar and unnerving. Once a source of warmth, his eyes held a storm of conflicting emotions.
Y/N, facing him with sorrow and determination, met his gaze head-on. The room seemed to shrink, closing in on them as the weight of their fractured connection bore down.
Y/N, standing her ground, met his gaze with a calm composure. The fear that had once lurked in the corners of her mind now took a backseat to the reality of the numbers.
"I've made you more money than you could have dreamed of," she retorted, her tone laced with a hint of defiance. "I don't care if you think I stole from you."
Bucky, however, chuckled, a sound that masked the turmoil brewing within. Deep inside his heart, he felt like he was being stabbed – the wounds of deception cut more profound than any monetary loss.
"This heartless woman," he mused, the words escaping in a whisper as he wrestled with the conflicting emotions coursing through him. The realization that she had orchestrated a grand deception left him grappling with why she would lie.
Money, it seemed, was not the primary concern for Bucky. He didn't care if she stole from him – wealth was a fleeting thing for someone born into opulence. The betrayal gnawed at him, the breach of trust that struck deeper than any financial loss.
"Why, Y/N? Why lie?" Bucky questioned, his voice holding a hint of desperation.
Y/N, in response, offered a single word that carried the weight of her motives – "Karma." She wanted him to feel her family's pain when his father betrayed their friendship.
Bucky, despite his composed exterior, felt a knot tighten in his chest. "You used me," he accused, the pain seeping through his words.
A smirk played on Y/N's lips, but her eyes betrayed a hint of remorse. "Just like your father used my father, Bucky. It's a cycle, isn't it? A dance of betrayal and payback."
His frustration bubbling to the surface, Bucky demanded, "Why didn't you tell me? Why go through this elaborate charade?"
Y/N leaned back, her expression unapologetic. "Would you have believed me if I told you the truth from the beginning? No. I needed you to feel what my family felt when your father betrayed his own best friend."
Bucky, realizing the depth of her vendetta, shook his head in disbelief. "So, this was all about revenge?"
A bitter laugh escaped Y/N's lips. "Lives were already destroyed, Bucky. I just made sure the perpetrators paid for their sins."
His anger simmering beneath the surface, Bucky questioned, "And what about us? What about the connection we had?"
Bucky, despite his initial calm, felt the ground shift beneath him. He wanted to understand, to comprehend the motivations behind her calculated actions.
Yet, the revelation that she had manipulated him for reasons beyond financial gain left him grappling with a sense of vulnerability he hadn't anticipated.
As the room's atmosphere thickened with the unspoken tension, Bucky's mind raced, grappling with the dualities of anger and betrayal.
The room seemed to close in on them, the air heavy with the weight of broken trust and unspoken apologies. Bucky, grappling with the revelation, demanded, "And what about us? Was any of it real?"
Y/N, unwavering, confessed, "There was a time when I thought it could be. But the truth caught up, and I couldn't keep living a lie."
Bucky's frustration simmered beneath the surface as he implored, "Why can't you just accept it? We had something real, Y/N. I don't care about the past; I just want us."
A bitter laugh escaped Y/N's lips, piercing through the heavy atmosphere. "Us, Bucky? There was never an 'us.' It was a facade, a carefully crafted illusion. We're not meant for each other."
The room echoed with the shattering of illusions and the realization that some fractures ran too deep to heal. As they stood on the precipice of an irreversible separation, the echoes of their once-intertwined lives resonated, leaving behind the harsh truth they both had to face.
Unable to contain the tumult within him, Bucky erupted, "You talk about lies, Y/N, but you've been lying too! You made me believe in something that never existed. Was it all a game to you?"
Y/N's eyes once filled with determination, now flickered with a hint of regret. "It was never a game, Bucky. I wanted you to feel a fraction of the pain my family endured. To understand the consequences of betrayal."
Bucky's frustration transformed into a silent plea, "Can't we move past this, Y/N? I don't care about the revenge. I care about us."
A bitter edge returned to Y/N's smile as she replied, "There's no 'us,' Bucky. We were never meant to be. I'm sorry for the collateral damage, but some wounds can't be avoided."
Bucky's gaze dropped to the floor, and as Y/N observed, she noticed a rare vulnerability in his usually confident demeanor.
Usually filled with mischief and charm, his eyes now bore a hint of red, betraying the emotional turmoil within. The realization hit her – she had never seen him this sad, and she was the reason.
"So, we can't be with each other, huh?" Bucky's voice trembled slightly, the weight of their tangled history evident in his words.
The air seemed to thicken with unresolved emotions as he continued, "I guess this is goodbye then."
Y/N felt a lump forming in her throat, an overwhelming regret settling in. She had expected resistance, anger even, but the raw sadness in Bucky's eyes cut more profound than she could have anticipated.
The silence followed was punctuated by the weight of unspoken words, a farewell hanging in the air like a heavy curtain.
Bucky's words lingered in the air, a harsh echo of accusation. "You're really heartless, you know that."
Silence enveloped the room as Y/N remained wordless while standing amidst the remnants of a shattered connection. His accusation hung heavy, a painful acknowledgment of the irreversible damage inflicted.
Without another word, Bucky turned and left, leaving Y/N alone after their disintegrated bond. The door closed with a definitive click, echoing the finality of their separation.
As the reality of their parting sank in, Y/N crumpled to the ground, the cold floor offering little comfort. Tears, long held back, streamed down her face as the ache in her heart intensified. 
The sobs that racked Y/N's body echoed the desolation within, a symphony of heartbreak and regret. In that solitary moment, the weight of the revenge she had sought bore down on her, a heavy burden she couldn't escape.
She cried not just for the loss of what could have been but for the inevitability of their paths diverging. The ache in her chest mirrored the pain of a connection severed and the realization that they were never meant for each other.
As the tears continued to fall, Y/N grappled with the conflicting emotions within her. The loneliness of the empty room mirrored the emptiness that had settled in her heart. The jagged edges of their broken connection left wounds that would take time if ever, to heal.
Walking away from the door, Bucky felt a different kind of agony. The weight of his heartbreak bore down on him with each step. He had expected answers closure, but what he got was a brutal revelation that the past they shared was a minefield of pain. 
Still grappling with the aftermath, Bucky couldn't shake the heaviness that settled within him. It was a melancholy symphony, a haunting melody that played out in the silent recesses of his fractured heart. 
The door closed behind him, leaving Y/N and Bucky to navigate the wreckage of what was once a fragile, hopeful connection. The pain, now tangible and raw, had etched its mark on their souls, leaving them to confront the aftermath of a love that slipped through their fingers like sand.
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yandere-romanticaa · 2 years
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I need to talk about ADA! Dazai and Beast! Dazai because Beast ruined me beyond repair.
ADA! Dazai is like a beautiful red rose which caught your eye - you wish to have it, to pluck it, but it's so easy to forget that roses have very, very sharp thorns. Dazai has many people around him but a tiny few he can confidently say he trusts.
Which is why he might just be a bit prickly at the start.
Don't get me wrong, he is still the same old Dazai you first met. Confident, flirty, intelligent, a giant tease! Life is a breeze with him, there isn't anything in the world which Dazai can't do or crack wide open. It's so easy to spill all of your deepest, darkest secrets to him, so easy to open up and become dependent on him.
But just when you think you have him figured out, you're right back to square one.
ADA! Dazai, who does not know what to do with himself or you for that matter. How fun and cute you are, your crush is so obvious. He can't help it, he just has to tease you, you always give him the best reactions. He chooses to be careful with you in the beginning, think of dipping your toes in cold water for the first time.
Time passes and Dazai opens himself up to you. You are finally allowed to caress his scarlet red petals albeit with his thorns still in the way. They prickle and hurt, they may even leave a scar or two in their way but you don't care. Loving Dazai is like a drug, once you get a taste you can never get enough. The constant need for his attention and validation is just too intoxicating and Dazai is none the wiser.
Beast! Dazai though... Where do I even start?
This man and his love, to me at least, kind of feels like the lyric "Here comes the sun, she's the brightest star of them all." from the song Sonne by Rammstein.
There is absolutely nothing this man won't do for you and I mean it.
Beast! Dazai is terrifying and he knows it. He regularly uses and manipulates his authority and throws threats around like candy, particularly if his subordinates decide to question why on Earth would he settle for someone like you. You, his sweet, precious, darling, addicting little you, the reason why his heart beats and why he decides to take a breath and live the life he wants to live... As much as he can, that is...
Beast! Dazai uses your fear as a leverage and toys with you in a similar fashion to ADA! Dazai but there is a grim feeling to it, kind of like sticky black tar, it never leaves your person. He never allows you to breathe because he simply must be with you all day, every day. The sheer intensity of his stare alone is something worthy of the history books as even some of the most seasoned and battle hardened mafiosos can't help but to be off put by their boss. Everything is crystal clear right from the get go, anyone who messes with you messes with him, the Port Mafia boss himself and they will answer for their crimes no matter how miniscule they may be.
Beast! Dazai, who is desperate for you and your love but never manages to tell you. Instead he chooses to isolate you, to make you dependent on him so that you can have no one to turn to other than him. ADA! Dazai is at least sensible enough to understand that yes, personal choice actually does matter even if he will have it play out how he wants to in the end but Beast! Dazai does not have the time for that shenaniganary! He hides his despair and need for you like a true master of all lies and trickery. He tells you he could kill you immediately, put a bullet in your head and find someone else to screw with and you believe him.
How can you not?
Never in a million years could you predict that this man was ready to destroy the world for you and create it anew, that no one else in this world, this universe could ever replace you.
You, his sun, moon, star, his heart. His everything. And you will never know. But that's okay because Dazai knows. And he will always keep you close, forever and always.
🕊️ TAGS: @yanroma, @oneoftheprettynerds, @misdollface, @sxy0ung, @rosemary108233, @itssara-chan
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calisources · 6 months
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𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒, 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All sentences have been taking from different media and literature, movies and more regarding the topic of mistresses and favorites, mostly in the setting of royal court but can also be adjusted to other time periods. Change names, pronouns, locations as you see fit. Some of these include foul language, so beware. Implications of cheating are also in these.
You are my king, Niko, and I need you.
Everything I say is obeyed; everything I want is given to me.
You are such hard work to seduce, Niko.
She wanted to sit ON him, not next to him.
Never underestimate the power of a woman's intuition.
Behind every great king, there is a great queen. And behind them, there is a mistress.
The King is allowed to have as many favorite as he pleases.
A queen is never without her secrets.
A woman's beauty is her greatest weapon, use it wisely.
Rules are meant to be broken, especially by queens.
Queens do not beg for love, they command it.
Have as many bedwarmers as you wish, but I am your wife and you will not humiliate me.
A queen's grace can disarm her enemies.
He will grow tire of you, as he does with the others.
Having an ugly mistress is therefore a fatal mistake.
When a man takes a mistress, he doesn't turn around and divorce his wife.
Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts.
But a mistress can do interesting thing with food. Shall I describe them?
You will come back to the castle with me.
I-I'm not your responsibility.
You are mine. They gave you to me, remember? And I want to keep you. 
Your Grace---I am a virgin.
I realize that, and it pleases me. You do not doubt that I can be gentle with you?
They say you grow tire after the first night. No mistress last longer than a night with the king.
I know what you are trying to do, but do not think to take the King away from me. Let him play with you.
Done being sore yet, by chance?
From a mistresses’s perspective, taken men are low maintenance. All they want is sex, sex, sex. 
Do not take it harshly. It’s only flesh. And a body wants what it wants.
Kings have mistresses, Queens have secrets and they die with them.
To be the mistress of a married man is to have the better role.
The role of a mistress if make a man’s mood change and send him happy to his wife.
Don't be mad at a hoe for doing what she does best, besides it's not her that owes you that loyalty.
It was not a request. I will take you to bed and make you mine.
My wife has no interest in my bed, butb I assure you, my bed has interest in you.
 Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses. 
I don't want her to know the truth about us.
They know about us and they do not care. My wife does not mind to share.
As long as I do my duty, I am allowed to do who I please.
This absurd jealousy.
A mistress should be like a little oasis, refreshing and exciting, away from the mundane realities of life
The bedchamber is where political alliances are sealed, and where empires are born.
A king may rule a nation, but a woman's allure can conquer the king.
Behind every great king, there are the whispers of his mistresses.
The allure of a mistress lies not only in her beauty, but in her ability to manipulate.
A mistress must be both lover and confidante, juggling passion and secrecy.
In the court of kings, a mistress can become more powerful than a queen.
He is one of his favorites, and everyone knows it. You must become his favorite too.
In the arms of a mistress, a king can escape the weight of his crown.
I want more than this. You cannot offer me more than secret meetings and a warm bed. People whisper.
You can be my wife here. 
If I desire to marry someone else, would I be allowed or you would not let me?
I'll take you as my only mistress. I won't have a thought or an affection for anyone else.
I call Mary my English mare, because I ride her so often.
He cannot give you his true heart... for *I* have that in my keeping.
You can't have 3 people in a marriage!
Seduce me. Write letters to me. And poems, I love poems. Ravish me with your words. Seduce me.
You've taken her honor!
I swear to your grace, someone else was there before me.
They say all his liaisons are soon over. He blows hot, he blows cold.
Sometimes I believe you will grow tire of me. But then I find you here in my bed.
If I cannot please the King, will he kill me?
You must not touch me, for Caesar’s I am.
Everyone knew she was his queen and wife in anything but name.
You will have this orgasm if it’s the last thing I do.
What happened to the art of seduction? A woman enjoys being seduced.
I will not be the laughing stock of the realm. A woman who can only be a lover, never a wife.
I found her a very beautiful young woman with a very sweet and yielding disposition, She confessed to great admiration for Your Majesty. Should I, arrange ...?
If you put the Queen aside for this affair, the kingdom will fall apart.
If you seek Your Grace, you know where to find him.
I trust his mistress more than I trust any man on this table.
My husband is extremely jealous. Wants me sent to a nunnery.
I am with child. It is His Majesty's child.
Slow down so I can see how you do it.
Think of this as training. For your future husband’s pleasure. And mine.
should like to be your wife in every way.
I was wondering if you'd like to become my mistress.
You like to board other men's boats.
You know perfectly well what the King desires and what he shall have.
I saw with my own eyes how attentive he is to you.
My only satisfaction is that in frustrating you, I hasten your fall from the King's good graces.
Any man is weak against a maiden’s magic. Alluring and sweet. Like spring.
I make you this promise. When we are married, I will deliver you a son.
I have yet to decide whether to make your bedmate a head shorter.
So you can have your lovers and I have my own, but at the end, we return to one another. 
If you are not careful and a bastard is conceived, you will be ruined.
Everything will change for her. That kiss is her destiny and fortune.
So, what about this girl, this putain, the king's whore? Why doesn't somebody just get rid of her?
Have any of the women you've bedded with lied about their virginity?
Pretty, witty Nell, don’t forget you are mine until I say so.
Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?
I will teach you many things, how to please a man and in turn, you will be my eyes and ears in court.
I thought you wished for us to be over.
How can I when you plague my mind at every turn.
Let me have you, at least once. Many women would consider it an honor.
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tarjapearce · 11 months
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Mi Dulce Cereza (Pt. 7)
Ranchero! Miguel O'Hara x Reader
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WARNINGS: Telenovela coded drama, emotional distress, Strained Relationships, unexpected visits, mild angst, relationship building, fluff towards the end, Miguel being a softie for his wife.
Summary: Even in darkest times, love shines through.
A/N: Hope you like it :') .
Intro:
"It's your fault." Rosaura's venomous tone didn't go unnoticed by her husband.
"My fault?! I did nothing but raise her well in the Lord's path. I didn't spoil her. If anyone here is at fault is you."
William's voice was ever serene, but his words were vitriolic.
"Me?! How dare you say such things!"
Once back home with empty hands there was nothing but more chaos. Blame turned into a hot potato game of who was the culprit of your apparent rebellious phase. Neither of them wanted to assume that none other than unrealistic and absurd expectations from them towards you had been the spark that started your emancipation fire.
A fire that was shining too brightly for their likings, consuming everything they had known and had taught you. Appearances were unable to be kept any further as your mother was confronted by her friends. Asking her if the rumors of you eloping with the farmer boy were true. It would be always a:
"That wicked man manipulated my daughter. We are trying to get her back, but his lies are convincing enough to keep her by his side."
or a "I'm sure he has her against her will, my little dove would never run away like that. I know her!"
But never a truthful He got her pregnant, claims to love her and now they live in their own home away from this mess trying to live honestly.
The rumors of you getting pregnant had made them another mirror to the single youngsters in town . Rosaura could hear the people talking ill about you and them. How they didn't work hard enough to keep you on check, how they never were firmer and stricter in your upbringing, and how they had been too stupid to actually let the devil in their own home and corrupt you.
It was enough shame to convince her husband and start looking for you. She had been embarrassed enough thanks to your naive games of love. And Miguel.
Her mouth scowled in disgust, heart heavy with resent. He would definitely pay. How dared he to lay his sinful eyes on you? How dared he to lay with you? Even worse, How dared he to take you for himself, impregnated you and call you his wife?
Bold and stupid.
Miguel had ruined her plan of getting you married off to a rich and wonderful man named Sergei Kravinoff. One of the best foreign clients the estate had. He was an avid hunter and collector, that upon seeing your picture was delighted and charmed.
But how was she to explain to him that her only daughter had ran off with the farmer boy? And was now pregnant with his child?
"If you wouldn't pester her with so many dating prospects maybe this... whole mess would have been avoided and she'd be under our roof. Following our rules!"
"Would you shut up?! You let that lowlife to intimidate you. I don't care if he's build like a tree. I want him down, chopped off from the root from her life."
"He's clearly done something to her. Did you see her yelling at us? I'd never seen her like that."
"Hormones make you stupid. And pregnancy hormones make it even worse"
"Just like you when you were pregnant of her. At least he will suffer a little more with that. Once she reaches the second trimester-"
"No no. that's where you're wrong. I won't let her to ruin her life. Sergei wants her!"
"I will have to stop you there, Rosaura. A child life is sacred. Innocent."
"Oh, the wretched child you're always complaining about is now an innocent life?"
"Don't tempt my ire, woman. I know you despise the man. And as much as this situation angers us, that's going too far. That's her punishment for giving in temptation. Let her bear with it."
"You're such an hypocrite. Do you know who Sergei is?"
"I do. Nor care. All I want is my daughter back. There are other ways to break them apart."
"What are you thinking?"
"Confronting them only brings them closer. I fell for her lie of loving him for a minute, but I know it's fear speaking for her. We'll let them be for now."
"No!-"
"And just when they think they are safe, it will be the time for us to step in. Let them have a little sense of security. I'll allow them to finish the place."
"You are waiting too long!"
"Rosaura. Enough. I know what I am doing. I know you hate waiting. But it will be worth it. I know so. Can't let the man that embarrassed me and my family, and tarnished my reputation to go unscathed with my daughter."
"You better keep your promises, William. I hate being lied to."
------
Miguel could barely get a glimpse of sleep during the night. Just when he thought his body would actually give in to the somnolence, he'd startle and remain awake. Pushing the sleepyness away as his mind raced with the many insidious thoughts about last night.
How had your parents found you? With their influence he was sure that they've got the address, they were known through the whole county by their horses business mainly, church was a secondary feat.
His hand ran through his messy hair. You had been put to sleep by Victoria, something he was thankful for. He was no baby expert but it was a commonly known fact that too much stress led up to bad things, and the least he wanted was something else happening. Specially to you or his child.
What had he gotten himself into, this time? He knew your parents were difficult, but this was something completely different from what he expected. He was not only dealing with them, but their direct threats as well.
Not that he wasn't regretting everything that had happened between you two. Had he been too rushed into marrying you? Of course not. He also didn't marry you because you'd be the future mother of his child. He had snatched you away for himself because he loved you. He loved you to bits and pieces and as a whole.
You were too much of a woman to be married to someone else that would treat you badly and wouldn't take his time to actually get to know you. You were too much for the rest of men that never made a step further in their conquer and we're satisfied with little, such as little glances or smiles from you.
He was ambitious, and had wanted it all. He went through so much to get you, still was. But knowing you loved him and even stood your ground against your parents, one of the reasons of his ongoing headache, made it all worth it.
He couldn't quite explain it. At first it was mere lust his body was filled with upon meeting you. The need to corrupt you had proven extremely difficult for him to keep himself at bay. That's why he was always so tempting, so forbidden, so inviting to give in around you.
But you were too sweet and pure. Always being concerned about him, ever attentive and gentle. A stark contrast with his demeanor. He had taken the job since his place needed renovations once and for all. He owed that to himself. He owed that to his old man. Vicky's late husband.
And then he had met you, for real. At first he thought of you another gorgeous spoiled, and dumb city girl if he was honest, but as time kept on passing, he was proven wrong in so many ways he felt the need to apologize to you as soon as you'd wake up later.
You were smart, not a genius but smart enough to be a fast learner and help your father with the finances, heavenly cooking skills and so eager to be more than a bimbo wife, a life most of your old friends had settled for. You had gone to college, just like him. You cared for those around you even if that meant to face your mother, just like him. You both were so alike in so many ways it'd be foolish to let you go.
What got him grovelling at your feet was your innocence and your will to make something out of your life even if your parents sabotaged you. The strength in you, the perseverance and hard work you had shown him even to this very day was the deal maker. And soon enough you'd make him a father.
You weren't only making his most precious dream come true, but were in tandem helping in making your love nest.
Investing all of your energies in building your forever home. Your own sanctuary and safe place with him.
And now it was his time to protect you, to stood his ground like you had done for him.
The room was filled with a warm and golden orange and yellow hues, basking the place in a gentle light, as if the universe was telling him 'Everything will be fine'. A hopeful thought to his already rattled mind. He was exhausted.
Exhausted of hiding and running away only to be harassed later. But that wouldn't stop him from working, no. There was still so much left to do around the hacienda.
With a deep breath he looked your way. A small tug on his heart sent a painful stab kn his chest at your expression. Frowning brows, hands clutched to the sheets and pillows, probably pretending it was him and puffy eyes that served as proof of your cries last night.
Your rage was something else. It made his tired smile to soften into a more admiring one. He hoped to never face it, cause he was sure he'd be on his knees, asking for forgiveness if you wished, even if it was over something so silly and irrelevant.
With a soft croak, you stirred and he embraced you gently. You were scared and asking for him last night, something he regretted to not have fulfilled sooner. But you and his child's safety was the main priority.
He'd have to talk to Joseph and Paco about new rounds done through the day. He couldn't install the safety cameras yet cause his area would take a lot to cover and it wasn't finished yet. If only he'd have some sort of superpower to make everything faster.
But the only power he had right now was to provide comfort to your heart and head. He'd die before something happening to you.
A mental slap came to his mind upon such though. If he died there was none else to look after you.
Even his mind needed a break. Birds chirped merrily, announcing the six am. But his body felt heavier and more sluggish than usual, his mind unclear as a fog came over his thoughts. He wasn't used to pull all-nighters. You turned on your side and curled in his chest, finally taking a hold of him. Eyes fluttered open, relief etched to your features.
Your arms embraced him so desperate it quickly had your eyes all glossy and teary again.
"Hey..." He mumbled with a lip tight smile.
You sobbed in his cradling arms.
"I'm so sorry, Miguel."
A gentle shhh came from him. His calloused fingers ventured through the strands of your hair, caressing with such care he'd thought you'd break.
"Why are you apologizing, cariño?"
"For everything that happened last night. You don't deserve this."
"Last night wasn't good for anyone, you specially, mi amor. But you are safe here. "
"It's not about that... I'm... scared. My father knows where we live now. And he could-"
"Cerecita, mi reina. Look." He sat on the bed and took a hold of your hand, to then kiss softly at the back of your palm, "Your father can make all the threats he wants, hell... He can even tear this place down if he wants to, but he won't take me away from you."
Your hand trembled in between his. You wanted to sit, but he laid back again, draping the sheets closer to you, making sure you were warm. Like a cocoon in his arms.
"It's not about that. You don't understand Miguel. My father is a man of word-."
"So am I." His fingers grazed your cheek softly, "I promised you that we'd be happy. And we will. I don't know how and I know it's scary for us, but as long as we are together, we will."
"I don't want you to get hurt. I... I couldn't stand something happening to you just cause my parents are too petty to acknowledge I married you."
"The only thing that would kill me? Is you leaving through that door and never come back. "
The sheer thoughts brought tears to your eyes. Hormones had also woken up to make a riot on your mind.
"Don't say that, please."
He kissed the top of your head and stared down at you.
"I know this is far from over, and trouble might keep coming. The only thing I am asking from you, is to stay strong. Can you do that for me, preciosa?"
"I can try"
"Good. That's all I'm asking, really. If you're strong, I'm strong."
You gave another silent sob while he peppered your face in gentle kisses. Soothing your worries away.
But he was scared too. Not a childish sort of fear, but something deeper. He knew that your parents were dense, if not denser than water itself. And would try things to keep you on edge, or worse try and mess with his estate.
Fear tactics won't make him lower his head and coward. Not when his pregnant wife was next to him crying, stressing and feeling guilty. Your fingers however traced his face gently, his tired lids drooped, as his eyes stared at you, curious yet fearful.
"Did you get some sleep?"
He chuckled bashfully, "I look that rundown?"
"No. But you do look tired. You're not used to stay up past twelve."
A tired and airy chuckle flared out his nose, his fingers took yours to then kiss the knuckles.
"I know."
Sleepiness had weighed him down completely, body made out of lead and muscles sore. Begging him to catch a break and sleep.
"You'll get grumpy" your hand slipped away from his and went to his face again, caressing and holding onto him. Grounding his wandering thoughts towards you. Anchoring himself in your loving and preocuppied stare.
"You need sleep. I'm sure Vicky will understand. Please?"
"Can't say no to you."
Doting arms embraced his neck, pulling him closer to your chest, it was your turn to protect him. He was always making sure you had everything, that you were alright. A giver by nature.
Just like you. This time you assured he'd cuddle in your chest, sharp cheeks rested on your mounds, ear pressed against you; allowing the steady beats of your heart lull him to sleep while you played with his hair.
Vicky didn't knock the door to awake you.
-----
You both awoke around 11 am, past breakfast. Vicky had instructed the construction workers where to keep building, guiding them in Miguel's absence. Victoria knew the plans her son had, so it was relatively easy to give orders. Some days more and the barn would be completely ready to then move to fencing properly the land.
It was a bit more money, but after much thought, a vynil fencing would be perfect. It not only offered privacy, but the chances of someone sneaking in would be less than 0, unless you knew the property like the back of one's hand.
To your dismay you had only seen the first part of it. If Miguel wished, he could start selling his own produce in the farmer's market. But right now, the soil was covered in weeds, and other invasive plants and thickets. It would be the final part of the renovations.
Vicky knocked the door, Miguel opened to reveal his mother with trays of food and some tea for you. She had heard the retching from the outside door. Stress was making your morning sickness worse and having an empty stomach didn't help either.
"Got you some things that will help you, and you too."
Vicky beckoned Miguel to help her, The little coffee table inside the room was used as support, brunch was served.
"Thank you Vicky" She patted your shoulder gently, as she served some flowery smelling tea.
"Don't you worry about it. You're making me a grandma soon."
The sweet smell and taste of the steamy liquid made your stomach settle gradually. Then you started eating with ferocious appetite. Miguel had his big cup of coffee, and ate as well, but his appetite was little.
Vicky smacked the back of his shoulder softly.
"Deja de preocuparte y come." (Stop over thinking and eat.)
Your hand slid into his and squeezed.
"Miguel?"
"Hm?"
"I'm scared too. But I also know that having us demoralized and afraid won't do good for us."
He pulled you closer and kissed your head for the umpteenth time, comfort and love were words you could use if you'd get asked what his hugs felt like. Despite his rough and cold demeanor he was one of the sweetest and gentle man you had ever encounter, even if his actions spoke volumes for him.
His head remained out of his hat, the piece had suffocated him enough through a good chunk of the previous night.
"That's exactly what those cabrones want. No offense, dear"
You chuckled and shook your head.
"Vicky is right. Whatever comes, we will face it together. As a family."
His eyes softened as you placed his hand on your belly.
"One day I'm sure this will be one of those stories you'll tell your kids when they get older and wanna know about family drama"
Miguel couldn't help but snort at Vicky's insinuation. But deep down he felt grateful. Thankful enough that two of the most important people in his life were reassuring him. His devoted and short tempered mother, a crucial part of his heart and now you and his growing child. All around him, promising they'd all be fine.
He needed to believe it. This wasn't one of the moments he was allowed to flank. He needed himself strong, steady with his head high. Ever vigilant and ready to face everything that came his way. He was an O'Hara. And O'Hara's endured.
That was his own mantra, bestowed and honored by previous generations.
The brunch and Victoria's presence had helped you both to ease the rising nerves and the subtle anxiety that undermined your head with unhealthy and raucous thoughts. Instead, even if a temporary distraction, work in the estate kept going. After all, it would take so much more than just a threat to break your spirits.
---
Miguel had tended to the barn and foresaw the fencing advance. Construction materials would be brought over the weekend to immediately start making his private property even more secluded, away from prying eyes and anyone stupid enough that tried to venture within the hacienda.
And after yesterday's fiasco, Miguel had come up with a new plan about security rounds until the fencing started. Just as he was about to explain, Joseph called him, a bit concern etched into his face.
"What now?"
"It's not the people from yesterday, but they claim to know your wife, Boss."
"How many of them are there?"
"Just three. Two women and a man."
He nodded and put his hand on his neck, trying to ease the tension that refused to leave his body despite the many attempts of cheering his spirits up.
"Where's my Cerecita?"
"Uh, with Vicky in the orchard."
"Right. Stay here in case there's trouble."
Joseph nodded and stood his ground, as he watched Miguel leaving.
Who would be this time? He wasn't armed this time, so whoever that had ill intentions with him would have to face the might of his fists.
But the silent threat remained as nothing but that. The only noises around were him, the gravel crunching underneath his boots, the subtle wind that played tag between the trees, little birds here and there and finally, the voices of people he knew, but didn't remember their names or faces .
A cool gust of wind threatened his hat to be blown off his head, but he secured it with a hand. Upon arriving, his surprise couldn't be hidden.
The two ladies were the one that helped you pack and were deeply saddened at your leaving. He always saw them around you, laughing and sharing whenever your mother wasn't around to shoo them away from you. And the man, one of the helpers back at your parent's barn.
"Mr. O'Hara? Im really sorry to bother, and showing up like this after what happened."
One of the women spoke. Miguel was cautious, and so far his intentions of opening the door didn't ring a bell on him. For all he knew your parents could have sent them to spy you.
"We quit. That Rosaura lady slapped my sister and it was enough for us. We were planning on leaving the estate even before the Miss left with ya."
But that definitely sounded something his beloved mother in law would do.
"I know you have zero reasons to believe us, but trust us. None back at the estate really liked the missus's parents either. We could only hold up for so long before everything came down. But we needed the jobs."
"I understand." With a sigh, Miguel opened the door and allowed them in.
A little rounds of thank yous echoed behind him before he guided them back at the main estate.
"Will you let us stay? Just for the night of course. "
"You'll have to talk to La Patrona." (The boss)
He chuckled upon you coming to his mind, "My wife I mean."
A little of hushed yet excited whispers trailed him along some 'I told you!' 'She did it!'.
The reunion was loud as he had expected. Loaded of hugs, heartfelt congratulations and of course them rubbing your belly.
Mary, the big sister was two years older than you, she had been one of the few that approached you with genuine friendship back at home, her sister, Susan was your age, even though she was on the quieter side, she was disciplined enough to keep herself busy and out of trouble. Always doing something. However her eyes kept wandering to Joseph.
They had asked your permission to stay overnight before returning to their hometown the next day. Of course you agreed.
They helped you to prepare everything, letting Vicky to rest for a bit. Even though they had spark, Vicky observed them with hard eyes, trying to decipher their true intentions. And so far she had found nothing. Not even in the man that quickly established a conversation between Paco and Joseph.
And soon all of you sat down at the table that seemed smaller.
"Like I was telling Mr. O'Hara, you mother was livid after you left."
"She was like a child throwing a tantrum, telling Pastor William to do something"
"Yeah, that's sounds like mom" An awkward smile came to your face as they spoke.
"But after last night, it was enough for us. She slapped Susan in the face when she got her the wrong dress."
Vicky couldn't hold back her gasp and contempt
"Dios mío, esa mujer ha enloquecido" (My God, that woman has gone mad)
"I'm really sorry it had to come to this point."
"Ya can't blame yourself, darlin" Mary spoke, letting her southern accent shine through for a second, "Ever since ya left people have been leaving, only to be replaced within some days."
"No wonder why they came in so pissed" You mumbled with a little giggle.
"How's... Agustín?"
Their faces fell and the man, his old helper James spoke.
"Pastor sold him to a guy. Joaquín is kinda sick and Luis, is the only one they actually pay attention to. You know, Joaquín is old so..."
Miguel could only nod with a saddened yet expected smile. It was a matter of time for Agustín to be sold.
"Do you know by chance who he got sold off to?"
"Some russian named Kravi- Uh... Kravinoff?"
"I see." Miguel’s shoulder slumped for a moment. At least he wasn't sent off to the meat market, "Hopefully that man knows how to treat him."
"He seems into animals a bit too much, sir. A bit eccentric with his fur coats. But apparently the man is a collector and the missus's parents best client."
Of course. Agustín was a purebred friesian stallion after all. His worth was over 20k.
You slid a hand on Miguel's thigh comfortingly. His subtle blue mood contagious. A lot of details you both were missing were spilled in the table.
Even though Miguel wasn't one for gossips, hearing your parents struggling to keep the appearances had definitely put a smile on his face. It served them right after all the unhinged things they had done. But he didn't let go that easy the fact that from all the horses remaining, Luis was the only one that was being properly taken care of.
Your horse.
A little hope shone in his darkened by fears heart. He didn't care if he was called a dreamer, but sometimes he pondered how would be his relationship with your parents would've been if they had a completely reaction to him.
Would they tolerate him? Would they be excited for being grandparents? Would they be happy for you instead of being petty and spiteful about it? He didn't know.
And he was tired of thinking over and over. Vicky's words remained closer to his heart.
If isn't your stubbornness, it's your love that will convince them.
But that was a very distant and utopian thought. All that mattered in his present was you and his new growing family.
The guest cabin was taken by the ladies and James joined Paco and Joseph.
Vicky drew you a warm bath to ease the remaining tension off your body. Miguel had been watching you. The changes in your body suited beautifully. Plump breasts, hips and thighs, gorgeous sudsy skin that had some flower petals adhered to it, enhancing it's beauty. You were the purest form of art before his eyes. The mother of his children. His wife.
He marvelled at the way you smiled upon rubbing your belly. The illusion of being a mother surely took you by surprise, but with Miguel's reassurance, you were excited even to meet your child. The ultimate physical form of love between you two.
Puppy and rusty brown eyes fixed on you as you let your hair down, letting the strands to cover your back to wash them next.
He stepped in. With a kiss on your temple and a bashful smile he sat behind you.
"Mira nomás qué chulada." (Look at that, so beautiful)
He pried gently the shampoo bottle off your hands and poured some on his hands to then lather your scalp with it. The lovely smell of cherries wafted in the air as foam appeared in your head while he massaged your scalp adoringly.
You hummed in approval at the careful and soft movements of his fingers. Inducing a relaxed state over you.
"Miguel?"
"Yes, Cerecita?" His voice matching his fingers.
"I don't ever regret marrying you."
His fingers faltered for a moment before resuming his washing. It was as if the doubts on his heart had secretly found a way to your ears and you were now reassuring him.
"You've the best thing that has shown up into that old house. Still are."
"Gotta be thankful to your parents for creating you, preciosa. Unbearable as they are"
The both of you chuckled, ignoring the looming dark skies that blended within the night's mantle.
"I'll take in Mary and Susan. I'm sure they'd be wonderful help around here."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I will pay them of my own money I've saved. So don't worry"
"No, no, let me take them in."
"Miguel, all of these renovations are coming off your pocket. We are a team now, I know somehow it will work out. Let me help you."
He accepted his defeat with a little slump in his shoulders and lazy smile.
"Alright, as you wish, mi corazón."
"What do you love the most about me?"
His hands took the bathtub's head shower and rinsed your hair. Water splashing on his skin, like the sudden question.
"Your bravery, empathy towards others and loyalty. And you're drop dead gorgeous too."
Your cheeks warmed up with a little flush on them as he spoke.
"What about you, Cerecita? What does my wife loves about me?"
"Since you snatched the words off my mouth, I'd say loyalty, honesty and resilience." You took his hands in yours, weaving your fingers between his and smiled, "Many would've given up on me at this point because of my parents but..."
Another kiss, "Hearing you calling me your wife makes me all happy and the good kind of dumb. I know we won't have good days, or that we will be far from perfect but, You've taught me so much about myself is wonderful. "
His hands secured yours as another kiss on your temple was given.
"Thanks for not giving up on me, Miguel."
"Thanks for being my wife, Cerecita."
Your smile disarmed him. And that night your wish of being asleep in his arms came true. There was no horrors that lurked in the shadows.
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