#i don’t usually care about going the ‘exact’ ‘reverse’ route for things

[year2000electronics]

you know that feeling people get when someone posts a picture of them holding an incredibly venomous animal on reddit like “does anyone know what this cutie is?? :D” i’m sure that’s how mason and mabel felt reading the book of will and realizing they were basically telling a ticking time bomb to do their chores.

[aponderingcharming]

We Have What We Have When We Have It - Part 3

The day to return the stones finally came. Steve made sure that the soul stone was the last stop on his trip. It was time to say goodbye. Read on AO3.

The day to return the stones had finally come.

Bruce had spent the past number of days making all the necessary tweaks for Steve to safely travel to all the different locations and spots in time and get back in one piece. The last thing he needed was to get stuck in the past and/or on some planet lightyears away, so he was thankful for the extra time that the scientist was taking in exacting the formula.

Meanwhile, Steve had spent the last few days reading and re-reading all of Natasha’s notes and letters. All of them were for him. Each one was different; the tones and lengths varied and the timeline in the shifting of her affections became more and more noticeable as he read. A lot of them described missions they had gone on or were about to go on, sometimes in extreme detail like it was almost therapeutic for her to do so and other times in broad brushstrokes with just dates and times. Some of them accounted conversations they’d had with one other and he found himself recalling the memories with ease as soon as the words popped from the page as though he was back there in that moment with her. It was so easy – too easy – to get lost in the memories, to change them ever so slightly so that they’d end differently – like maybe he gathered up the courage to compliment her or maybe even to be so bold as to tell her how he truly felt.

He caught himself replaying her phrases all throughout the day, each time hearing them with a slightly different voice of hers – sometimes light and airy, other times heavy and quiet. At night he lay awake imagining the ways in which she might have revealed her feelings – sometimes they’d be on a mission and she’d blurt it out casually in between kicks and gunshots; other times they’d just be sitting together on the couch like they did countless times before and she’d just whisper it into the room like a soft prayer. Each time it hit him a different way because while the scenarios he conjured up weren’t real, her words were.

Every now and then she’d write something that would appear so out of place among the rest of the sentences that it’d cause him to pause, put the paper down and squeeze the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger because it’d get too much. She’d note things like: ‘And then you smiled at me, and it was different than your usual smiles. More…I don’t know, private, I guess? As if it was just for me. So I smiled back and I can’t explain it but it was like something expanded in my chest. I felt…warm, I think. But not in an uncomfortable way; in a really, really nice way. I kind of always want to feel like that.’ But then, later on, she’d write something like: ‘Do you have any idea how stubborn you are? You think you know what’s best but really you’re just floundering about like the rest of us because newsflash, Rogers, none of us have ever had to face anything like this before. So we’re all just trying to throw around ideas and come up with a plan and you’re just sulking over in the corner with your arms folded across your chest in this defiant, patriotic stance – and it’s really unhelpful. Sometimes I wish you’d just listen a little bit more.’

Reading them was unpredictable, much like Natasha herself. And there was a beauty in that. There was a beauty in the way she didn’t just paint pretty pictures of how she felt or how things went down; she was raw and honest and funny and heartfelt. The letters were like a glimpse into her soul and while Steve knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her, he knew it even more as he read her stories and worries and fears and insecurities. And though knowing that nothing he could do could bring her back, they provided him the chance to have her with him always.

The night before the mission, Steve had been up writing a letter to her, trying and failing to find his words that could accurately and deeply convey everything he felt about her. God…he really didn’t want to say goodbye. He never planned on saying goodbye. So the words didn’t come easy. They were hard-fought and clunky, and didn’t really make much sense when he read them back to himself, but what else could he do? He hoped that maybe, somehow, by some stretch and bend in the cosmic world, she would be able to hear what he had to say because he was planning on leaving his heart there on that mountain in Vormir. This felt like the best way to finish their story. Because that’s what it was. She wasn’t coming back and there was nothing anyone or anything could do to change that.

But Natasha deserved to hear that she was just as loved and wanted – he was going to make sure of it.

He was thinking of taking a break after this, some time off to re-evaluate what he really wanted to do. While walking away from Captain America wasn’t something he thought he could ever do, a hiatus from it all felt like the right decision. There were people out there looking after different worlds and nations, people who they could count on if anything got too hairy down here, people who could be trusted, people who were friends. Earth was in safe hands.

It was time to get a life and getting a life meant figuring out who Steve Rogers was without the title and the role that came with being an Avenger.

It was strange; it felt as though returning the stones was the end of an era, the last chapter of this book that he had been writing for the past few years. Going on missions, fighting and saving, being part of a team, had become a part of him over time and it seemed funny to him that he was going on this, pretty huge, pretty vital, last mission by himself. But, in a way, that was what he wanted.

This mission allowed him to say goodbye to the two women who shaped him into the man he was now.

Getting a chance to say goodbye to Peggy in a way that he never thought possible was too great of an opportunity to miss. Not ever getting to have that date or that dance together was something that haunted him for years and even though she was alive when he came out of the ice, he never quite felt like he expressed just how much she meant to him, at least not in a way she could understand. And he really wanted to show her. Just one dance. That’s all he wanted. And then he could move on and put that life, and all that came with it, behind him.

But when they mapped out the various routes for the trip, he made sure that returning the soul stone was the final stop on his quest.

It was a beautiful day; sun shining high, not too hot, not too cold, a delicate breeze in the air. The perfect day for a last mission – at least for now, anyway.

The suit felt tighter.

Heavier, too.

Almost like the material knew it was the beginning of an end.

Steve took a long, hard look at himself in the mirror in his bedroom, taking note of all the scratches and tears and patches that now adorned the suit. They were battle scars; scars of victory and scars of loss. He smiled sadly at his reflection, catching all of the scars his face and body displayed too. He looked different; tired and dismayed. Older. A version of himself he’d never met before.  

From outside he heard Bucky call his name.

It was time.

Bucky and Sam had insisted on sending him off, even though to them he’d only be gone a few seconds, but Steve knew that if the roles were reversed, he’d do the same. Getting both of them back really helped in the aftermath of the battle; whilst talking about what he was going through didn’t come easy  - or at all most days, just having them around as a solid presence brought him a sense of peace. There was a solace in knowing that he wasn’t alone.

When he ventured out to the lake, Steve admired the view one more time. The trees that protected the lake like a fortress now swayed in the light breeze, almost as if they were waving farewell to him. Even though he knew and believed that he was coming back, he knew he wasn’t coming back the same – and it felt like nature knew that, too.

“You ready?”

With a nod, Steve joined Bruce and Sam by the workstation that had been set up.

Bruce, arm still in a sling and looking a little more worn than usual, presented the case with the infinity stones inside to him.

“Remember,” he started, “you have to return the stones to the exact moment you got ‘em or you’re gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities.”

Steve nodded. “Don’t worry, Bruce,” he assured, taking the case. “I’ll clip all the branches.”

“You know, I tried - when I had the gauntlet, the stones...I really tried to bring her back.” The man paused, forlorn and defeated. Turning his head to look at Steve, he continued with a sigh, “I miss her, man.”

The blonde dipped his head at the admission. It was obvious that Bruce still cared about Nat and though he never really let his mind go there, Steve knew that a part of her still cared about him, too –not in the same way she had at the time of Ultron, but still enough to want to rebuild a friendship with him. And despite never discussing the relationship they had, Steve knew that Bruce was grieving just like he was.

He peered up at the other man. “Me, too,” he replied, the words heavy and definite.

An understanding smile passed between them.

The letter he had written to her burned in the pocket of his undershirt that lay against his heart.

“Let’s do this,” he proclaimed louder, more assured, Captain America in full flight.

Returning the stones (and Mjolnir) hadn’t been as difficult as Steve anticipated. Sure he could have done without having to inject the reality stone back into Thor’s old lover while she slept – that he’d be sure to lord over the man for many years to come, but the rest were thankfully fairly inconsequential. Sneak in, return, sneak out, don’t cause any ripple effects or alter anything in the process. There was a slight hiccup with the space stone in Morag which resulted in a ducking-and-diving-from-an-intergalactic-weapon kind of getaway, but Steve considering fleeing from gunfire to be pretty standard territory at this point.

The second last stop on his quest was to return the space stone back to the military base in 1970. And he finally, after all these years, got to have that dance with Peggy. Maybe it wasn’t in the location they’d pictured with the fanfare and anticipation and all that came with a first date, and maybe there wasn’t any music playing, but it was worth waiting for. A part of his heart that once seemed empty had now been filled and while it hurt more than he would ever admit to say goodbye one more time, he took comfort in the fact that she would live a great life and be happy. And he was glad that he was able to keep his promise to her, too. Feeling bound to his old life had taken up so much of his time in the present day and he more than knew that couldn’t keep living his life like that anymore. Time had passed, he had changed – the Steve Rogers from then didn’t exist anymore, and getting this chance, this final moment in time, gave him the push to really and truly move on.

Though all of his travels were always going to lead him to Vormir last, a part of him sometimes wished he had gone there first just so he could get it over with. As the time dragged on and each stone had been put back in its place, the dread of knowing what was to come gnawed at his emotions. It felt like the week leading up to a funeral where all the arrangements had been made and you were just waiting until the day when it became official. He didn’t want it to be official. There was this odd comfort in ignoring the obvious truth for a while but he knew the second he landed on that planet it would all become real again and there’d be no more escaping into daydreams or fantasies. No, he’d have to stare the loss right in the eye.

What he didn’t expect was how beautiful Vormir was. Not in the traditional sense, but in this other-worldy way that his mind would have never been able to conjure up on its own. It looked like what he thought a planet in outer space would look like – but then so much more. Vibrant clashes of colour with impressive shapes of land like sketches of a child where there was no rhyme or reason to what something could and should look like. It exceeded all human concept and imagination. And even as he gazed out at this barren landscape, he had a moment of awe at the direction his life had taken. It was breath-taking and beautiful, yet crushing and painful at the same time. He had achieved so much, had seen so much, experienced more than he ever thought, saved the world and individuals alike. But he’d also learned true pain, felt isolated and alone, discovered new levels of anger and confusion, lost battles and friends.

The mountain sat ominous and foreboding in his eye-line. It was sharp and jagged; a place that looked like death and danger personified, and it was surrounded by pools of water laid out in a nonsensical pattern. Wind whipped around him, flicking snowflakes into his eyes as he trudged his way up, jaw tight and set as he ground his teeth together to fight off the cold. His breathing was laboured as he made the ascent and he briefly wondered at how Natasha had felt about making the climb – he could imagine her and Clint complaining about the others having it easier than them and a sad chuckle sounded from him at the thought.

When he finally reached the top, he took in the surroundings. Nothing to be seen for miles.

Suddenly, a voice boomed from behind him, “Welcome…”

Steve zipped around to a see a floating entity dressed in black. His eyes narrowed.

“Steven, son of Sarah,” the voice continued, making his blood run cold.

He approached it slowly. “Who are you?”

“Consider me a guide to you and to all who seek the soul stone.”

The blonde raised his head. “I don’t seek the soul stone,” he announced calmly and then reached into his pocket to take out the glowing orange rock. He had discarded the case after seeing Peggy, making sure to tuck the final stone into a secure part of his suit for the last trip. “I seek to return it.”

“It has never been done before.”

“Well then I guess I’m the first,” he pressed.

The body then moved toward him and as it drew closer its features became more defined. Steve’s eyes widened as the face of the Red Skull became clear. “What are you doing here? How are you here?” he seethed.

“I am the keeper of the soul stone. I was banished here to this purgatory state to guide others to a treasure I cannot possess.” The Red Skull waded past him toward the edge that overlooked a canyon of darkness. “A great sacrifice was made for that stone that you hold.”

The rock suddenly felt weightier in his hand. “I know.”

A few moments passed and then, “What you seek lies in front of you, as does what you fear.”

Steve peered over into the abyss and swallowed hard, knowing that at the bottom was where she once lay. There was nothing there now. Just emptiness. “I don’t understand,” he said. “I already have the stone; what is this?”

“The soul holds a special place amongst the infinity stones and its ways are unknown. The soul demands a sacrifice – in order to take the stone you must lose that which you love. No one knows, not even I, the price for returning it.”

He was irritated now. “So you’re trying to tell me that I have to do something in order for this to be put back? I don’t see how that makes sense.”

The Red Skull’s timbre was haunting. “I’m merely offering you all the knowledge I have on this matter. What you long to do has never been attempted before. There are secrets of the stone that I do not yet know and cannot pass on.”

“Well thanks you’ve been a great help,” the man sniped sarcastically and then released a long sigh.

So no rules, no ideas, no maps to follow. Just gut instinct and a bit of luck. Steve didn’t believe in luck.

With a shake of the head, he walked to the edge and retrieved the letter from his pocket. No matter what, no matter what worked or didn’t work, he came here for this. He stood there on the cliff edge, the chill in the air not just from the temperature but from the unnerving atmosphere of grief. The price of sacrifice hung in the breeze that started to grow stronger the longer he stayed there.

Stars sprung and danced across the purple sky, blazing and burning in countless patterns. It was stunning, and not for the first time on this journey, Steve tensed his eyes so that the tears that were threatening didn’t dare to fall. No more tears. Knowing that this sky was the last thing that Natasha saw was like the universe offering him one last link he could share with her. A short, but real smile flickered across his face at the thought, his soul feeling somewhat soothed.

He unfolded the pages and began to read.

“Dear Nat,” he declared out into the void.

“I know it’s late, I know it’s not enough but wherever you are, I hope you know that I feel the same way as you do. Writing letters is something I gave up a lifetime ago but after I read yours, I knew I had to respond. Forgive me if it’s not as eloquent as yours. Usually the first thing you do in replying to a letter is thank the person for writing to you in the first place and so I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for leaving me something of yours that I can have forever, for baring your soul and letting me into your heart. That is a privilege I don’t take lightly.

I don’t know how space and time and all that works, but I’ve seen enough to know that nothing seems impossible anymore. We’ve seen things that just defy explanation. So I believe that as I read this to you, you will hear me.”

He cleared his throat. “Nat, I’m sorry.

For so many things.

I wish…I wish things were different. I know why you did what you did and if I was in the same position I probably would have done the same thing, because whatever it takes, right? That’s what we all agreed; we knew what we were doing. But, God, I wish there was another way. But the thing is,” he sighed, “even though it’s selfish of me to stand here and wish you hadn’t of done it, I know that you would make that choice every single time because you would do anything for your family, and all you ever wanted was to make everything right again – because you, Natasha Romanoff, are a hero. You’re my hero. Go ahead and laugh all you want at that –because I know you are; I can hear it,” he sniffed sadly. “But it’s the truth.

We won because of you.

We got everyone back,” he stopped then, mouth dry, “… but we lost Tony. He sacrificed himself so that Thanos could be defeated and I miss him every day. And he missed you, by the way. It’s funny, he’s usually so vocal about things but when we all found out that you didn’t make it, he was strangely quiet. I think it hit him harder than any of us knew. You were important to him. To all of us.

The trouble with trying to save the world is that we embody this kind of confidence – maybe even arrogance – that we’re gonna make it, that while there’s risk and danger, we’re gonna win and we’re gonna get through. And that’s good because if we weren’t confident in ourselves and in each other, then I don’t think we’d ever win. But it’s also bad because it blurs the lines of reality that one of us or all of us could be killed. We don’t let ourselves think of that. We drive forward with intent and do what we have to do. But, Nat…” he shook his head, rolling in his lips, “…I should have been clearer on how I felt about you – you said it yourself I’m always waiting, but this time it’s all on me. I should have made more of an effort during those 5 years; I should have reminded you more of who you are and what you’ve done. I should have been more open and more honest. You deserved to hear that you were loved by us all, especially me.”

Steve lifted his gaze so that his eyes were searching the skies. “I love you, Nat. And I’m sorry you’re finding out this way.

When I met you, I gotta admit I was a little intimidated. You were the most skilled fighter I had ever seen. You didn’t take anything from anyone, and you trusted your instincts. I always admired that. And when you opened up to me the day we realized that SHIELD was really HYDRA well, I saw a part of you that I could really connect with. I saw a glimpse of the real Natasha. You know, sometimes I think about that day. I think about how you had just found out that everything you’d been working for had been a lie and for most people, that would have stopped them dead in their tracks, but not you. No, you’re not most people. You became adamant and focused on fixing it. You showed me true loyalty when I hadn’t given you much reason to. You showed me that you were someone who wanted to be better and wanted to fight injustice.

You know, we’re not all that dissimilar when you really think about it.

And as the years went on I saw more of that person, and I grew to not only respect and admire her, I grew to care for her – more than ever I cared to admit to even myself. You risked your safety and security and position to help me when I went after Bucky – you trusted my instincts. You showed up at Peggy’s funeral even though we disagreed on what to do with the team because you didn’t want me to be alone. And, Nat, I was never alone when I was with you. Ever. You said that I made you feel seen, well you opened up my heart again.”

His voice cracked at the end of the sentence and he cursed, annoyed at how hard his heart was thumping and how his lungs burned and his head ached. He could feel the Red Skull’s stare on his back but he persisted on.

“You know - and I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be smirking after I say this - but sometimes I think about the time you kissed me on the escalator. Though I hate to admit it, I lied to you then; that was my first kiss since 1945. But now more than ever, I’m glad that it was with you…even if it was terrible and I was way, way, out of practice.

But I’ve also thought about the other times we got close to kissing yet never did because…well, because we couldn’t risk losing each other. It never felt like the right time, it never felt like the right thing to do, but once the moment had passed, all I felt was regret. Every time. I think we were just scared to enter into new territory. We knew what lives we lead and we knew that it would complicate things and that we needed each other on a much deeper level and underlying it all, there was always this fear that it would ruin what we had. You have no idea how much I wish I had taken the jump and told you sooner, though. I wish we could have navigated it together - and you’re right, I don’t know what it would have looked like but I know we would have made it work because,” he softened his voice then, bringing to just a breath above a whisper as if she right there in front of him, “you’re the most important person in my life too, Nat. I would have put my everything into making it work, because you’re worth all of the uncertainty and all of the risk and all of the confusion. And I’m going to say that again so that you really understand: you are worth it. All of it. I know you think that your past prevents you from having anything good in your life, but I want you to know that whatever experiences you had to go through to get here, they shaped who you are now. And she is someone who I think is incredible.

I miss you so much that it hurts, and I know that it’ll always hurt when I think of you. I’ll miss the late night conversations and the jokes and your eyebrow that can change everything with just one move and the assurance of knowing someone has my back. Most of all, I’ll miss the way your eyes light up when you get excited about something and the smirks that transform into real, genuine smiles once you’ve let your guard down and the way you understand me, like no one else does. You were my best friend, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find another one like you.”

The last line of the letter became blurred through his tears and Steve tore his eyes away from the page for a few beats, unable to bring himself to read on. Once he read it, it was over. This was the end. A couple of drops landed on the sheet, blotching some of the ink. His hand shook as he raised the page closer to his face as if the proximity could force the sounds of him. He needed to do this.

Voice thick and quivering more than he would have wanted, he finally whispered, “I love you, Natasha Romanoff, with all of my heart. I hope that someday, somehow, someplace, I’ll see you again and get to tell you to your face.

All my love,

Steve

Before he could change his mind, he then released the piece of paper and looked on as the wind caught it and swirled it around open space. Hands clenched tight, he made sure to keep his stare on it as it plummeted to the bottom of the cliff. Tears burned in his eyes. The orange rock shone in his hand, its dazzle almost taunting him. Here goes nothing, he thought and without much effort, he let the stone drop from his grasp and inhaled sharply as the glow illuminated the steep descent. This was it. No more stones. No more chance of seeing her or getting her back.

It was over.

And then it all went dark.

The slop and slosh of water yanked him from the depths of darkness and he could feel wetness flowing around the frame of his body. Blinking heavily, Steve’s eyes opened to a new scene; the magnificent purple sky that had enraptured him earlier was now a silky lilac, all of the stars tucked back away for a later time. Was it now morning? A white moon, much like the one on earth floated off in the distance as if awakening too.

Realization that he was lying down dawned on him, and he pulled himself up into a seated position, turning his head from left to right as he scanned the new surroundings he found himself in. Over in the distance, what could have been miles away, was the mountain he once stood on.

“What the…?” he mouthed aloud to himself.

“I think you found a loophole.”

He jerked at the sound from behind, and hurried to his feet, arms out in front ready to attack if necessary, water splashing around with the movement.

But then he saw her.

And his whole body went slack.

Red hair tied in a braid with streaks of blonde running through it. Green eyes that bore deep into his own. Lips slightly curved into a smirk. Black suit he’d know anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

This couldn’t be real.

This wasn’t real.

“Nat?” he breathed.

She just nodded, eyes filling just a little. “Hey, Soldier.”

Though it was obvious the greeting was meant to be a little mischievous, it came out raspy instead, like she hadn’t used her voice in a while and was trying to get a hold of it again.

“Wha…” he paused, gulping and then, “…how?”

“I don’t know,” she rushed, licking her lips, breathing slightly ragged. “I…” she gazed fiercely at him, “I…could hear you…somehow and then…” she squeezed her eyes shut for a beat, “…and then there was this glow and it was so bright and I just…I just woke up here and I saw you and…” she pulled up then as if really seeing him for the first time, “…I saw you,” she repeated in awe.

The stone. He threw the stone down with the letter and both of them ended up here.

But how?

“You heard me?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “I don’t know how but I did. All of it.”

As much as he had prayed to a God that he wasn’t sure even existed that somehow this would happen, he still couldn’t understand how she was here with him. Unless…

You must sacrifice that which you love.

Steve understood and was willing to say goodbye to someone he loved wholeheartedly.

Letting go of Natasha was the ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate exchange.

The price of returning the stone.

He had brought her back.

His eyes clapped on her then, his relief and joy unbridled. She met his gaze with similar intensity. Steve closed the gap between them in an instant and pulled her into a hug, needing to feel that she was real. With only some hesitation, Natasha encircled him with her own arms, one hand gripping his back, the other on his neck, fingers brushing the end of his hair.

“This is real?” she asked so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.

All he could do was nod.

“I can’t believe it,” she breathed, her words watery.

Breaking back only so much that their faces were mere inches apart, he tenderly brought up a hand to cup her face and gently danced his thumb across her cheekbone. “Nat, I love you. I’m so sorry I never said it.”

Her brow crinkled, green eyes incredulous but so hopeful, “You do?”

“Yeah, I do.”

The words ran off her tongue as if she was afraid they’d disappear if she didn’t get them out, “I love you, too.”

Her own admission seemed to take her by surprise and before she could say or do anything else, Steve leaned in and kissed her. The most perfect kiss he could have ever imagined. It wasn’t forced or rushed or planned or complicated or any of that other stuff that comes along with a moment like that; it just was. It was everything he wanted and so much more.

When they pulled away, one of her signature smirks appeared and boy, did he miss them. “Now that was worth waiting for,” she laughed breathily. “Have you had practice?” she quipped, cocking an eyebrow. He missed that, too.

He offered a smirk of his own in reply. “Just saved the best for the right person, that’s all.”

She bit her lip, dropping her stare. “I,uh… think I have to get used to this. This is really…” she waved her hand out in front of her loosely, “…really new to me.”

He nodded in understanding, wanting her to feel seen and heard, wanting to be her safe place again. “We’ve all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere, Nat,” he assured, taking hold of one of her hands.

“Well, good,” she responded, now fixated on their hands, “because neither am I.”

“So…how about we go and get that life we were always talking about?”

Her smile was full. “I thought you’d never ask, Rogers.”

The End.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

[gotboredwrote]

Role Reversal // GL!JFM

Pairing: Gardner Langway x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4K Style: Sequel (Part Two of Anchored, But Irradiated) Warnings: Broken bones, so much fluff you might feel sick by the end of it Summary: Y/N and Gardner go on that date they talked about, but something happens to Y/N and there’s only one person qualified to help her out. He isn’t qualified on the medical credentials, but he’s the only one who could do the job. Permanent Author’s Note: To clarify, I write because I get bored. Nothing is meant to be professional in any way, nor is meant to offend, cause anxiety, cause anger, cause sadness, or promote disagreement among readers in any sort of (semi)permanent way. A/N: Request from @took-me-hours-to-steal-those​ ! The first unprompted request I’ve ever gotten! So, I’m very thankful for you, hon! I hope this is what you hoped for! ALSO – if you have not read part one of this, this may not make sense at first. There’s buildup to this point and background there, so I highly suggest you give that a read first, friends.

Masterlist // Part 1

~

It was hard to tell if Gardner truly understood what an actual “date” was, because the two of you had gone on his route while he was in his cast together almost every single day. But nonetheless, it was special. It was special because it was Gardner, and he was happy that you kept your vow to remain close to him. You could tell it made him happy – he was not really good at hiding his feelings, but you found that extremely endearing.

Regarding his emotions, he was not super happy when you were assigned a new person to take care of in the way that you did for him. To you, it meant proof of a steady job and some money, which you needed pretty bad, just like most people in the world. To Gardner, though, it meant less time to spend with him. He wanted to keep spending time with you like you had when he was injured. He wanted to keep cooking in Calvin’s kitchen. He wanted to keep sharing his nuggets of wisdom about each crack in the sidewalk with you. He wanted to show you his newest stamps, and most of all, he wanted to tell you how much you meant to him.

And if it was not for Nettie, he could have done all those things.

Knock knock.

…

The pastel pink door to the small cottage slowly creaked open revealing a small, gentle older gentleman of about 85 years of age. Standing there in your olive-green scrubs, you offered him a large smile, which he reciprocated in his own, less-exuberant way.

“Mr. Thompson?”

“Hello there, dear. Would you be Y/Wrong/N?”

“It’s Y/N, but yes, I am here from the hospital to help your wife, Nettie, right?”

“Oh, my apologies, dearie. Yes, Nettie. Took a nasty fall, hit her head. Has trouble doing anything without getting dizzy right now and my muscles aren’t what they used to be. Not what attracted her to me, at least.” You offered him a laugh, and he stood to the side of the door as if to let you in. “She’s upstairs waiting for you, please come in.”

You thanked him, and you walked past him into their home, which was all painted in pastels and had knickknacks all around from the years of travel it appeared they did. He pointed you to the kitchen where you dropped off Nettie’s paperwork and your personal bag, taking your medicine bag upstairs. Your medicine bag was actually a gift from Gardner. He had a retired doctor on his route, and he constantly saw Gardner walking with you in your scrubs, so he offered his old-fashioned house-call bag to him to give you. You had not stopped using it since the day he gave it to you.

No longer in the presence of her husband, you made your way up to their bedroom where he told you she would be. You knocked gently, but heard no response. You knocked again. Hearing no response again, you lightly pushed the door open to see Nettie sitting on one side of their shared bed, not facing the door, seemingly looking out the window.

Had you noticed the hearing aids sitting on the bedside table, you would have never done what you did. Alas, you did not notice them and grabbed her shoulder to get her attention. It was the first genuine mistake you had made as a nurse.

“Miss Nettie? I’m here to—”

Then you felt a large pressure on your wrist, and the next thing you knew, you were doubled over on the floor next to the foot of her bed. You were half moaning, half screaming at the searing, sharp pain radiating through your wrist and shooting up your arm. Somehow, this 80-something old woman had gotten so riled up by you touching her shoulder all of a sudden that she mustered up the strength to shatter a handful of bones in your wrist. His husband heard the commotion coming from the bedroom, which now included yells from Nettie herself, and as fast as he could made his way into their bedroom.

“What’s going on?”

“Reggie, who is this woman? Why is she in our house? Did you know she was here?”

“Nettie, it’s okay. This is Y/N, she’s the nurse who’s going to be helping you balance while you try to do things around the house and in town.” He looked down at you, still whimpering on the floor from the pain that did not seem to get any better. “Well, I’m not so sure she’ll be helping you now.”

~

Whenever you work somewhere, you never really expect to be on the receiving end of the situation. Especially you, because you worked at a hospital, so if you were on the receiving end, that meant something was wrong. You had visual proof of that looking down at your light blue cast – a color you had admitted you chose for Gardner’s sake. Your supervisor and all your nurse friends crowded in your room and looked at you sheepishly.

“What? How was I supposed to know an 80-year-old lady had the strength to latch onto me, let along break my wrist?”

The x-ray tech came in and placed the shot on the viewer. Everyone in the room winced at how shattered your wrist appeared to be.

“Well… somehow that lady managed to grab you in a way that broke all but one of the bones in your wrist. I think you know the drill for how this goes. Don’t get the cast wet, have someone help you as much as possible, and if you decide to come into work, you’ll be with someone who can help you do stuff. Do you know who can help you?”

“Yeah, I think I know someone.”

Carefully, you drove your car home, considering you only really have the use of one hand because your cast went from your hand to your elbow. Once home, you never even went inside. You walked through your neighborhood about 4 blocks or so until you saw the familiar boat that made you all too warm inside. You were about to walk up to the side of it and knock on it, when a familiar voice called out to you.

“He’s on his route right now, won’t be back for a while!”

Calvin, in his robe, pan with something sizzling inside it. A familiar site, considering your days with Gardner before usually were about 12 hours or more.

“Woah, what happened to our favorite nurse, girlfriend? Oh, well maybe I shouldn’t call you that. Gardner might question what it is you two have.”            

“We’ve been on one date, Cal.”

“Are you denying that you want to be his girlfriend?”

“…” You had not really thought about it. Well, you had, but the one time you went on a date with him, it just felt like you were back at work again because you had to do that while he was injured. You refused to put any thought into the idea that you and Gardner could date until after the work situation was over. And here you were, standing on his doorstep about to ask him to do the exact same thing you did for him.

“Well, I can see you’re pretty lost in your thoughts right now, girly. Did you want to come inside for some breakfast? You can stay here and wait for him to come home, we have tons of movies you could watch.”

“I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“Absolutely not. I’ll be at the shop all afternoon, despite it being Saturday, but you have my cell number, so you can always call me if there’s something you can’t find or need.”

“Thanks, Cal. This means a lot to me.”

“Again, it’s no trouble. And I’m sure Gardner will be thrilled to see you.”

You walked into the all-too familiar home, memories of the showers and sponge baths you gave Gardner flooding into your mind. You felt happy thinking about them, at peace. Not even recognizing the pain in your wrist. Endorphins rushing through you at a mile a minute. Calvin fixed a plate for you, one that consisted of what you remembered were his favorites – bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, and an everything bagel. He always made a sandwich, you remembered, so when you asked him to make you one just like he always did, his eyes lit up. It made him happy that you did not just pay attention to Gardner, that he mattered just as much.

You ate the sandwich as best you could with one hand, using a fork to eat the remaining bits that fell. Calvin cleaned up after both of you, and scurried upstairs to change, pointing you in the direction of their living room so you could get comfy. You chose a couple movies they had on DVD, a couple you had not seen before, and choosing an old favorite – Jurassic Park. The little boy, Tim, reminded you of Gardner in some ways. He looked a bit like him, too.

Before you could get up to grab yourself a drink and put a movie in, you heard Calvin sprint down the stairs and nearly fall down the last 5 steps.

“Don’t you dare get up – I’ll get what you need before I leave. Whatcha looking for?”

“Just a drink, thank you.”

“Water or some other beverage?”

“Tea, if you have it, actually.”

“Coming right up.”

With that, you settled back down into your comfortable position on the couch, snuggled in a blanket they had draped over the back of the couch. After about 3 minutes, Calvin came back into the living room and placed the mug down next to you. A USPS mug of all things. He saw you had some DVD’s picked out, Jurassic Park on top, so he popped that in for you and started it. As he started walking out the door to go to the shop he turned around and told you something.

“Gardner actually brought that mug home for you. For you to keep here. He really wants you to spend time here, you know. He really likes you, Y/N.”

You felt your face flush but did not turn to look at Calvin. All you did was listen to the sound of his voice fade out and the classic sounds of John Williams fade in.

~

You did not have a guess as to when you fell asleep, but you were gently startled awake because you heard the door opening. You expected Calvin to walk through the door, but when your eyes adjusted to the light entering your eyes, you saw a lot of blue and a large bag slung over a shoulder. You also saw a safari cap of sorts.

It was your favorite mail carrier.

And he looked so terrified that you were just sleeping on their couch. He had so many questions about the situation, but he pushed them aside. He walked over to your side and watched as you stretched and smiled gently up at him.

“Thanks for the mug, Gardner.”

“What?”

“Calvin told me you brought this here for me to use. Thanks. And I accept the invitation to come over more often. Especially now, because I actually have a pretty large favor to ask of you.” Your arm was still hidden underneath the blanket, so Gardner had no idea what he was about to see. When you raised your arm from behind the blanket, Gardner’s eyes went wide with concern and instantly he dropped to the floor by your side, grasping your arm a little bit more roughly than he should have. He heard you wince in pain and instantly retracted his arms.

“Sorry, s-sorry…”

“It’s okay. This is actually what I wanted to ask you about, Gardner. I kind of…need us to switch roles for a few weeks.”

“You want to be a mail ca—”

“No lovebug, I need you to take care of me like I did for you while you had your cast on. Think you can do it if I walk you through it?”

Gardner simply nodded his head, and then the two of you looked to the door which was opening to reveal an exhausted looking Calvin. He just waved at the two of you and trudged upstairs to shower, so he could then move on to making dinner. After watching him make his way up the stairs, Gardner broke you from your thoughts.

“Have you been here all day?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I was thinking it was Sunday and you would have been home. I forgot what day it was and…”

“And?”

“And… I was really hoping you would help me.”

Gardner looked at you funnily. “I already agreed to—”

“I know you did. But I don’t know if you’re grasping the intensity of what I’m asking you to do. You’re going to have to do practically everything I did for you, with the exception of pushing me around in a wheelchair.” Now Gardner looked nervous, and instantly you felt horribly guilty. “Gardner, I can ask one of the nurses, I’m sorry. I just thought it would be a good excuse to hang out with you again.”

“I can do it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I can do it.”

You felt warm. Giddy. Thankful that Gardner walked – well, tripped – into your life.

~

Calvin, despite how tired he was, managed to make a really good dinner for the three of you. Afterwards, you began to realize that Gardner was taking what you said to him very literally. Gardner insisted that you stay with him on the boat because you stayed with him when he was hurt. He insisted that he be the one to help you with anything involving your hands. Which translated into needing a shower. You had worked a night shift before having to go over to Nettie’s house this morning, which felt like a lifetime ago already, so you felt grimy. But you realized all your stuff was at home, Gardner did not drive, and you smelled.

“Hey, Gardner?”

He poked his head around the wall from the kitchen where he was making you another cup of tea. He had made sure you were sat right back where he found you after dinner so you did not exert more energy than necessary.

“I, uh… I need to shower. And I need pajamas for tonight and clothes for tomorrow.”

“I’ll wash your hair, and you can borrow my stuff for tonight. I still have those clothes you wore that first night. When you wanted less laundry to do.”

You just looked at him and hoped that he either could not see how hard your heart was beating, or that he was just as nervous as you.

The latter was true.

For some reason, this felt way more intimate than the first time, the minute you walked into his bathroom. A familiar room. You should not feel this nervous. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you were going to have to take the top layer of your scrubs off in front of him. Maybe it was the fact that he was going to be yanking on your hair – something you realized you might like because of the way he reacted when you did it to him. Maybe it was the fact that the two of you had gone on a date but had not yet established what this relationship of yours really was. Or kissed.

Gardner had a very good knack for taking you out of your thoughts, because the water from the spicket started cascading into the tub, loudly. And instantly your skin was red hot. Gardner was kneeling beside the tub checking the water, waiting for you to tell him what to do. You shakily unbuttoned your scrubs top and let the fabric fall from your shoulders. You were staring right at Gardner while you did so, and he was doing the same. All you had on now was a white tank top. He watched as you loosened your hair from how you had it, letting is cascade down just like the water. Then, before you realized it, you could feel the cold ceramic of the tub on your upper back, head hanging over the side of the tub. You looked up at Gardner who was as stiff as a piece of plywood. You reached up to hold his face and turn it to yours.

“Hey, hon, it’s just me. We’ve been in this position before. This isn’t weird, okay? All you have to do is wash my hair like you would wash your own. Think you can do that?”

He nodded his head, eyes shining and boring right into your own. There was something behind those eyes, you just could not place it.

“Plus, it’ll be kind of funny – I’ll smell like you because of the shampoo!”

Gardner pried his eyes away from your own to start letting the water run down your hair. It felt nice to have someone do this for you. You had not been to a hairdresser in a long time, so this was as close as you were going to get.

Gardner watched as the droplets of water streaked down your hair, now a couple shades darker. It was mesmerizing to him, how smoothly they moved. Then he looked to your face – completely at ease, no tension, just enjoying the warmth. Almost…blissed out. Then he realized that your hair was far beyond being drenched enough, so he carefully placed the showerhead down into the tub and reached for his shampoo. Initially, he only put the amount he would use on his hand, ever so literal he was, and then he made up the difference for your much longer hair.

“I’m… going to start putting the shampoo in.”

“Mmm.” All you could offer was a hum. You genuinely felt like you looked. As soon as Gardner had started the process, your nerves faded. His on the other hand, were just getting worse and worse.

Then, his hands were working the shampoo from your roots to your ends. At first, he quite literally just used his flat hands and moved from the top to the bottom, but then he realized that is not exactly how one washes hair. So, he began to use his fingers a little bit more carefully. Running them through, detangling.

Pulling.

And your suspicions were confirmed. A noise left your lips that were so desperately terrified would escape, and instantly Gardner’s hands retracted. He held his hands up like he had a gun pointed at him, not caring that they were dripping all over himself, and looked at you widely.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, hon…feels good.”

Somehow, the manner and tone with which you said that urged him to keep going. After all, the soap had to get out sometime. He worked the remaining streams of shampoo into your hair, and then rinsed off his hands so he could wash out your hair. All the meanwhile small huffs of air escaped your lips with every pull and stroke down your hair. You understood now how Gardner could not control his reaction – you were doing the exact same thing. All the while wondering to yourself ‘what is this that we have?’

Then you heard the water shut off, and Gardner reached back for a towel. He was sitting back on his knees waiting for you to sit up, with the towel placed gingerly over his hands which were extended in front of him.

“Oh, look at you, lovebug! I didn’t even have to tell you what was next.”

He continued to look right at you with determination and… that other thing you still could not pinpoint. Regardless, you sat up and leaned straight against the bathtub. You looked at him wistfully, somewhat tired from the warmth, and he took that as a cue to toss the towel over your head. He was not quite sure how to properly towel-dry hair, but he did his best. Something he did, though, earned him another noise. One much more intense than the others. It stopped him dead in his tracks. The towel had been covering your face, so he did not get to see the face you made before, but slowly he removed the towel from your face and leaving it atop your head.

You were either embarrassed or turned-on, Gardner could tell that much. He was not experienced but he knew those two emotions. He had felt both when he was in your boat a little while back. In a very unlike Gardner move, he just decided to hope that it was the latter of the two options.

Soft. That was the first thing you noticed about them. They were relatively plump for someone like him, and very soft. They also moved against your own like they had more experience than they let on, but you knew from previous conversations with the boy that he had no real experience other than a childhood one when he was about seven.

So, you could not help but wonder, where in the world did this massive smacker he was currently laying on you come from? And why?

Not that you minded, of course.

At first, he was still. Clearly unsure of whether or not you were kissing him back, or if you hated every millisecond of this. His eyes were pressed shut so tight he was starting to see those little colors you see when your eyes go berserk. But then he felt it. Motion not coming from his own mouth. You were kissing him back.

He had no idea what it was to do, so he let his natural instinct take over. His mouth started to move with yours, against your motions, trying to feel every single inch of space your lips had to offer. After a few moments, it became more than just lips, mouths barely opening to simply feel more of each other. He was still holding onto the towel – you could tell simply because the pressure on your head was increasing with each passing moment, signaling to you that he was holding onto it for dear life. Then, the pressure moved away. His hands moved somewhere else. But it was not your body.

He had placed his hands onto the edge of the tub to ground himself and give him somewhere to balance. You could feel his body shift. He moved over top of you, your head leaning back a bit from the height difference. And the feeling on your lips was more intense. More passionate. Deeper, slower. He was putting every fiber of his being into this kiss as if it were the only time he would ever get the chance. You placed your good hand into his hair, lightly pulling just the way you learned he liked, and instantly he melted into you.

So much so that the hands that he had on the tub had finally realized they had water under them and decided to slip backwards into the tub. Now with nothing to hold him up, Gardner’s entire body came crashing down into yours, the only exception being that you got your hands up to his face in time so your heads did not collide.

Both of you were breathing in heavily, right into each other’s ears and necks. But, ever the silence-breaker, you heard his breathing hitch before hearing his voice.

“That cast feels funny.”

You simply pulled your head back to look at him and playfully smirked at him. His eyes were blown black, and his cheeks were bright red. It was a sight you loved. He spoke again.

“Can we go to bed now?”

“On two conditions.”

He simply gave you a questioning look.

“You have to promise to show me that new stamp you were telling me about when we get down there, and you have to promise to do exactly what you just did for a long time.”

Permanent Taglist: @bensrhapsody @chlobo6 @gardnerlangway @xtrashmammalstefx @bohemiandeakyy

Gardner Langway Taglist: @gardnerlangway

Request: @took-me-hours-to-steal-those

// If you want to be added to either taglist mentioned above, or the one for another character I’ve written for, send me an ask here! //

[demigodofhoolemere]

Oh boy. Here we go. Gonna try to get my Endgame thoughts out. Usually I give spoiler-free versions as well, but... you really can’t say a word about this movie that isn’t a spoiler, so everything goes under the cut.

~~~

Shortest summary: the things that were good were really good, but the things that were bad were just as bad (aka disappointing), and there are gray areas in between that I have complicated feelings for.

I’ll start with the bad so I can end with the good.

Complaints

- Anyone who knows how I feel about Ragnarok knows that the first and most frustration-filled complaint has to be about Thor. I try not to speak too openly about my feelings for that movie, because a) I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun by saying how much I hate the thing they love, no one wants to hear that, and b) I don’t want to be eaten alive for it anyway. But given that we’re under the cut now: I really hate that movie. And there’s a plethora of things I could get into about that which I won’t, the important point here is that I can’t stand Thor’s characterization. They stripped him of everything that made him who he was, to the point of such unrecognizability that I only call him by name in quotation marks or refer to him as Fake Thor. I know how many people consider the overhaul an improvement, but I genuinely loved who he once was, and they turned my boy into the exact kind of character that I hate ten out of ten times. Infinity War, while still very much trying to keep with who he’d become, seemed like it was attempting to course-correct and let him actually be serious again, he definitely had some moments that I liked where I could see him as the Thor I know peeking out again. Foolishly I assumed Endgame would follow suit, especially since this is supposed to be the biggest, darkest movie ever. Instead I’m subjected to a “Thor” who is SOMEHOW even further removed from recognition and manages to even be an insult to Ragnarok Thor, who in the very least refused to give up on his goals and knew that hiding and drinking wasn’t the answer to problems. This yet newer version is drinking himself into oblivion and not trying even a bit to actually be any kind of leader for his people, and it’s all played for laughs. This genuinely tragic and miserable state they put him in is all played for laughs. I was looking forward to seeing how they’d have Thor respond to his trauma and depression, foolishly thinking that his characterization might be slowly headed to a better place and it might be something like how we used to see Thor deal with his pain (quietly, soldiering on, but clearly without his heart completely in it, he tries to be okay and he hides it and he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and he hurts and he grieves but he never gives up because surrender is not in his nature) — but it turns out the man can’t even be depressed without it being a joke. It honestly pained me to watch and I wanted to throw up, because it feels like a stranger walking around in Thor’s corpse, and because it was all just one long joke about him being sad and fat (like that’s okay to make fun of?), and all of this during the hugest movie event ever. The culmination of a decade of stories, and this is what we get. A disgrace in every way. It’s terrible but when Thanos was digging the weapon into his chest, I was actually hoping he’d die. I can’t take it anymore. The only reason I have left for caring whether he lives is purely for Loki’s sake at this point, because he shouldn’t have to lose his brother, but then again, I really don’t even feel like his brother is home anymore. The lights are on but it’s someone else in the house and I don’t know who he is, all I know is I never want to have to see him again. (When Frigga says he’s not the Thor she knows... I know she meant it differently but that was a mood).

- Also, he never talks about Loki for a second, not a single namedrop, he’s not even alluded to in the present day outside of the audience simply knowing that it’s part of the reason Thor hates Thanos, but it’s vague at best. He outright walks past Loki in his cell without a moment of reaction. Their entire history and bond is treated as nonexistent. Thanks.

- While they were at it the movie also refused to acknowledge anything that Thanos did to Loki pre-New York, which I really didn’t expect but it would have been nice. Best we have is two seconds in IW of Bruce saying that he “sent” him, which really doesn’t do justice to the truth of it. And the thing is... I don’t know that I can even expect the Loki series to address it, either. It’s not present day Loki, which I’m peeved about because I wanted him back, and now we lose all post-Avengers character development, and I lose hope of seeing the one thing I’ve wanted for this character in the 7 years I’ve known and loved him: healing. I’ve only ever wanted to see him get help, figure out his mind, figure out who he wants to be, make progress and get better. Goodness knows that’s all Tom ever talks about wanting for him, too. I doubt that will happen now, given that a) they had Loki peace out with the Tesseract and b) the synopsis was something about him traveling through Earth history and influencing events, both of which tell me we could easily be going down the ‘haha I love stealing the Tesseract and stabbing people at random’ road that I so don’t want to go down, with an added ‘I want to screw up time just because’ for good measure. He’s a trickster, yes, but he didn’t used to be like this, and if this is all they’ll let him be then I lose hope of seeing him allowed to be emotional, or having any of his trauma acknowledged, or being shown to have actual personal motivations and desires outside of mischief, and the hope that he would have a moral code and display a capacity for goodness (yes, Loki has those things) is likely a pipe dream. Tom is my only hope, and knowing how he is with the character, his hands are extremely safe ones to be in and I know that no matter what’s written he’ll do all he can to bring as much truth to Loki as possible, but it still depends on who’s in charge, and unless by miracle it ends up being Kenneth Branagh, I have trust issues. I’m happy he’s alive at all but I’m worried about my boy. I just want him back from the present day, revived from having to be brutally murdered by his torturer, and out of the hands of anyone who’s not going to take care of his character.

- By the way, is “the sun will shine on us again” really just false hope after all that? He was the only optimistic person in the movie and had a suspicious 3+ minute absence where he could have been doing anything, and nothing comes of that? I mean, I’m grateful for the true sacrifice, and I’m glad the Russos know that he would do that (my issue with the scene not being that he uses a dagger, but only that we’re not shown him trying anything else first; I believe he’d do what he did if it was the last possible thing he could attempt, I just wish we’d been shown that that was definitively the case), and that it didn’t lean into the ‘oh he just loves faking his death’ misunderstanding, but I was kinda hoping for a reversal, you know? It wouldn’t change the impact, he still made his choice and it’s still massive for the character, it just... wouldn’t have to be permanent... please I miss my son so much.

- PROFFESOR HULK. I was afraid they’d go down this route, and it seemed more or less confirmed by the time the movie was about to come out. I’m highly uncomfortable with the whole concept, I’ve never liked it in any medium. Bruce was already OOC as well at times, particularly his first scene in the diner, but having him do this pretty much equates to him murdering Hulk. It’s Bruce’s consciousness in Hulk’s body, which kind of kicks out Hulk. Is his mind trapped inside or is he just gone? Either way, there’s clearly no intention of ever reversing this, which ends up still effectively killing Hulk no matter how you go about it. The arc Bruce has been on was supposed to be about him accepting Hulk, and the two of them learning to work together better. Having Bruce decide that he only wants the body is NOT conflict resolution. They acted like it was the best of both worlds, as if Hulk was only ever a secondary body and not an actual separate living personality, which drives me crazy. He was unceremoniously taken out, offscreen, by the same man who gave him life. He deserved better than that, he deserved to live. Now we’ll never see him again. Not a fun day to be a Hulk fan.

- Over-the-top humor where there shouldn’t have been. I love good humor, I’m grateful for relief from angst, and there were some very good funny moments, but there comes a point where it shouldn’t be done, if you can’t do it well and in a way that is not inappropriate for the tone (hint: fat jokes are inappropriate for the tone). Humor abuse is frustratingly growing more and more common, in Marvel and in general.

- Angst for the sake of angst regardless of whether it could have been avoided. I know that much of fiction works like this but still. Stephen could have used the Time Stone on Tony’s injuries to bring him to the moment before it happened, so that he could be saved without undoing the victory. He saved Wong that way, Thanos used the stone on Vision without changing anything else around him, we know it’s possible. Same could have been done for Nat, too. And my sister pointed out that they should have just time traveled to somewhere in that 22-day timespan to get the stones from Thanos before he destroyed them, because they were all together and it would have saved them the time heist and the massive battle. I know the movie would have been over quickly, but seriously, they went to a lot of trouble that they didn’t need to. I like having reasons for why things have to be done or not done a certain way, rather than asking me to ignore the obvious ways out.

- The time travel logic REALLY needed to be explained better. They made a point of contradicting the traditionally accepted time travel rules, and made a minor attempt at explaining how they were choosing to do it, but didn’t make it clear enough to follow. I can’t figure out for the life of me what’s supposed to become of Gamora, or why Nebula killing herself in the past doesn’t kill her in the present, or what in the world happens to personal timelines that have been tampered with (Loki not experiencing TDW and onward, Peggy not having her family, etc), among many other questions. Nothing makes any sense and they left a total mess in their wake. It felt like they were just giving themselves a pass to do whatever they wanted rather than follow any logic.

- On that note: Gamora. As much as I refuse to give up hope for her, it seems to me that they’re not planning on fixing that. The only reason I hadn’t been as panicked for her wellbeing as I could have been was because I figured they couldn’t just leave things that way. I remembered James Gunn once said that Vol 3 could be watched without having seen IW and Endgame, which implied to me that there would be no Guardians deaths that wouldn’t get undone, but now I’m wondering if it’s set before IW or I just misremembered what he said entirely - either way it’s feeling like we’re really just starting over with 2014 Gamora, which is all kinds of messed up to 2018 Gamora. What kind of ending is that? Killed by her abusive kidnapper “father”, and trying to make the audience sympathetic to his pain? That scene was beautifully done, in a sick and twisted way, but it needs to be fixed. I want her back in one piece. She deserved to see the end of Thanos, in her own normal timeline and not in her new one, and move on with her life and her sister and her family. Justice for Gamora.

- Rocket calling Mantis “the chick with the antennae”, as if he wasn’t friends with her for four years. I’m pretending that he was just getting too emotional saying all of their names and decided to distance himself from it, because that’s the only thing that makes sense, unless he’s legitimately having a memory problem in his older age. Rocket is gruff but his team is his family and that includes Mantis.

- Five years later. Why. Please don’t make my kids go through this for five years. You only did this for the Morgan pain, you sadists. You know that’s the only reason you did this, it didn’t need to be five years, why do you like to hurt me—

- In general it just felt like it didn’t live up to the promises Infinity War made? It feels like a completely different event.

- No Dum-E and U at the funeral. Unrealistic, Tony wouldn’t stand to have his bots left out. I know this isn’t important, but it’s important.

Conflicting Feelings

- Less worried about Vision since I know he and Wanda have a show coming and Feige said that the Disney+ shows are post-Endgame, but we don’t know in what capacity he’ll appear. He could be emotionless White Vision, or Wanda could be going House-of-M style and hallucinating him or trying to change reality to keep him, or who knows what else. Hopefully it’s all good. Cautiously optimistic?

- Not sure about Clint becoming a killer. I can buy a mourning family man having that anger in him, and I know Ronin is a comics thing and that historically he can have a bit of a temper at times, but at the same time... it’s Clint. I can’t figure out how I feel about it.

- What Tony did was amazing and everything, but Nebula still should have been the one to kill Thanos.

- Making it five years later makes things very awkward for setting things right. If you were to undo everything, you erase important things that happened in the time since, especially children born (and when they introduced Morgan I knew what path they were taking). It makes sense to bring people back without turning the time back. But the snapped people also miss five years of world developments, five years of their loved ones’ lives, and will now forever be younger than people that they used to be older than. Worse, it won’t undo the damage that was done outside of the snap. People who died in crashes because their drivers or pilots disappeared, people who died on operating tables because their surgeons disappeared, people who committed suicide because they couldn’t live with what happened. Those people are never coming back, unless we pretend that Tony took them into account when he fixed things. It’s just... no matter what way you go about fixing things, it’s uncomfortable for somebody.

- Nat’s death. Conflicted purely because I love her and I want her back. The death was incredibly well done and emotionally impactful and believable for the character and the journey she’s been on all these years. Can’t say enough for how much I loved she and Clint stopping each other back and forth, and how flipping proud I am of her and who she is. I would bring her back in a heartbeat and I’m completely devastated, but I’m so proud. However, where was her funeral?

- Tony... I sooo prepped myself for the wrong Avenger. I’ve been expecting Steve to die for years now, so that’s what I went in thinking would happen, and while I did have my concerns and occasional doubts, I had become like 90% convinced that Tony would be okay because I didn’t think they could actually do it, especially with him having so much to live for. It’s utterly heartbreaking, because we’ve gone through YEARS with him, he’s suffered so much and he’s earned his happy ending a thousand times over, it was owed to him, and to watch him die when happiness was within his grasp... that’s not entertainment anymore, you know? It’s just twisted and sadistic. I can see how it ties things together and wraps up his story, but not in a satisfying way. I wanted nothing more than for him to get to live with his family. If he had to die, the way they did it was amazing, it was beautiful and epic and it meant something, the reactions of Pepper and the others were completely heartbreaking in every horrible way, they used so many callbacks to his previous movies and especially the first one (I am NOT even getting into all of them, holy crap, they murdered me so many times over), it hit in all the right ways and it was all the right kinds of angst, it’s exactly the kind of thing I’d have done if I had to write that... but I didn’t want this. I’m devastated beyond description. I had to watch my sweet boy die with my own two eyes. He built the MCU from the ground up and this is his sendoff. It’s certainly one befitting his character, but that doesn’t mean it’s what he deserved. I want to erase this from my memories. Nothing happened, it’s fine.

- This one is going to sound cruel, but... as much as I don’t want Steve to die, I would have been less dissatisfied if it had been him. He had less to lose, I felt. He never truly felt like he belonged in the 21st century, he always struggled to figure himself and his place in life out, never seemed very comfortable in his own skin. It would have made sense for him to be the one to make the sacrifice. I could have accepted him achieving his personal peace in reuniting with the loved ones he’s lost, he’d get so much of his life back even if it had to be in the next one.

- On the Steve note, I love him and Peggy as much as the next person, truly truly truly, but... she had a family, she had an entire life. The Russos claim that the family still exists, but because none of this timeline stuff was made clear, it just feels like Steve erased her whole history so he could be with her and it honestly came across as uncharacteristically selfish of him. Yes, he deserves happiness as much as any of the Avengers, and believe me, I was sobbing watching them finally get their dance. Part of me is happy and satisfied. But... it doesn’t feel right. Not him messing with her life, not him going through all of those decades knowing what was happening to Bucky and doing nothing, not any of it. Obviously I know he struggled to move on, I mentioned that above, but he DID create a family and he had friends and people he loved, and he just left them. It doesn’t sit well. It gets worse when you factor Sharon into it, because for one thing, she’d now be his grand-niece and he’d have to live with the knowledge that he’s kissed her, and for another, talk about one last kick to the dead horse that was any hope of Sharon being allowed an ounce of good treatment from the MCU. There was a draft of IW where she and Steve were trying to live in an apartment together, that kind of seals the deal that they were attempting a relationship, and yet... not one bit of consideration for her. I’ve never even shipped the two together, but I care about Sharon and she has been done SO dirty, I feel so bad. I wish I could be happy about Steve and Peggy’s happy ending without so many things hanging uncomfortably overhead.

Good

- Got to watch Thanos die twice.

- Got to watch Tony and Nebula play table football.

- Clint has finally returned to me!!!

- So many good character interactions with emotional depth and people truly being friends. Eating sandwiches and laying around brainstorming. Steve and Natasha is always a favorite. Nat and Clint absolutely destroyed me, I love how they are as close as is humanly possible without crossing the romantic threshold (pretty similar to her with Steve, come to think of it). I loved Tony and Nebula’s relationship, and her scenes with Rhodey were meaningful. She and Rocket holding hands, my heart. Some good Rhodey and Carol content in there. Very nice to see Scott interact with people more properly than he got to in CW, and to see the Guardian survivors dealing with their Earth friends (I am never getting over Nat receiving emails from Rocket). That Clint and Wanda moment got me. Also just... so nice to see Clint even exist to interact with anyone at all, frankly. And I finally started to believe Steve and Tony as friends in this canon. A little.

- Generally just emotional about all of my babies.

- MARRIED PEPPERONY. WITH A CHILD. PRECIOUS FATHER TONY STARK. ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE. I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN. I CAN’T GET INTO THIS. IT’S TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART. I HAVE TO LEAVE IT AT THAT.

- Gamora and Nebula being sisters!

- Harley! This wasn’t how I wanted to see him again, but Harley!

- A few seconds of light of my life Janet van Dyne!

- And Hank! Present day AND amazing 70s flashback hair with that beautiful classic Ant-Man helmet that would have been completely impractical function-wise but that I love and appreciate seeing!

- Scott and Cassie killed me. Anything Ant-Man related killed me. I have so many questions about what happened to people. What was Cassie’s living situation like? Are Maggie and Paxton okay? Luis? Kurt and Dave? I hope Ava did get snapped, actually, for her own sake considering she needed the particles to live and she wouldn’t have been getting them, and I don’t want Bill to be without her so hopefully they went together and can come back together.

- Carol. Just Carol.

- Rocket is always a delight.

- Again with the Budapest baiting! I want to know!

- Loved seeing the Ancient One! A breath of fresh air in a rollercoaster of breathlessness.

- The bit with Peter Quill on Morag made me smile so big. Loved the bonus shot of him singing along badly when we can’t hear the song. I needed that bit of happiness. Plus, GotG is one of the only ones I never ended up seeing when it was still in theaters, so it was great to be able to experience at least that part on the big screen.

- Man, going back to 2012 made me miss those days so hard.

- Appreciated the Winter Soldier references and appearances.

- Steve knowing he could disarm himself just by mentioning Bucky, my heart!

- Edwin Jarvis, my love! I can’t believe they incorporated one of the shows into one of the movies!

- Tony with Howard was so emotional. I know a lot of people hate Howard, and I get why, but I’ve always enjoyed seeing him, and I’m grateful that Tony has been able to really get closure in regards to his relationship with his father. It doesn’t change the negligence, but it’s important that Tony be able to be in a good place, I’m happy he’s healing. He made my heart turn mush during that sequence.

- WHEN STEVE WAS STANDING ON HIS OWN AGAINST THANOS AND HIS ENTIRE ARMY. POWERFUL.

- AND SUDDENLY YOU HEAR SAM’S VOICE AND “ON YOUR LEFT” AND YOU CRY.

- AND SUDDENLY YOU SEE A PORTAL OPENING AND YOU SCREAM BECAUSE LIGHT OF YOUR LIFE STEPHEN VINCENT STRANGE IS ALIVE.

- AND SUDDENLY YOUR WAKANDAN BABIES ARE BACK AND YOUR CHEST SWELLS.

- AND SUDDENLY EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED IS ALL THERE AND IT’S A BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL ENSEMBLE AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEEDED.

- AND AVENGERS ASSEMBLE. FINALLY.

- AND PEPPER COMES IN THE RESCUE ARMOR THAT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE 2013 AND SHE AND TONY ARE A BACK-TO-BACK POWER COUPLE.

- AND TONY AND PETER REUNITE AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

- AND STEPHEN IS MOSES AND IT’S AMAZING.

- AND WANDA IS READY TO FLIPPING OBLITERATE THANOS AND START UNLEASHING SOME CHAOS MAGIC AND YOU’VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE.

- AND CAROL IS WRECKING THANOS’S SHIPS AND YOU’RE LAUGHING WITH GLEE.

- AND ALL OF THE WOMEN GATHER PROTECTIVELY AROUND PETER AND YOU’VE NEVER RELATED TO ANY OF THEM MORE AND YOU DON’T EVEN CARE THAT IT’S CONTRIVED THAT IT’S CONVENIENTLY ALL OF THE WOMEN BECAUSE THIS IS WAY TOO AWESOME OF A SHOT TO NITPICK.

- AND SCOTT AND HOPE ARE ADORABLE AND PERFECT.

- AND GAMORA DOESN’T KNOW PETER AND YOU CRY.

- AND STEVE IS WIELDING MJOLNIR AND YOU’RE SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU KNEW IT, WORTHY WORTHY WORTHY WORTHY WORTHY!!!!!

- AND YOU KEEP SCREAMING THROUGH THE ENTIRE BATTLE BECAUSE IT’S INCREDIBLE!!!

- I’M STILL LIVING ON THAT HIGH IN CASE YOU COULDN’T TELL!!!

- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- And then just. Stephen lifts a finger. And you know.

- “I. Am. Iron Man.”

- Honestly thought he was going to say ‘invincible’ as a shout-out to his comic adjective but the full circle is way better and I’m a wreck. All hail Anthony Edward Stark.

- Watching Thanos turn to dust is very, very satisfying.

- For all of the years they teased Bucky!Cap, you’d think I’d be a bit put out that we’re not getting it, but honestly? Sam!Cap is a better fit, I think. Bucky needs rest, he deserves to not have to fight anymore. Sam has the skills and personality of a good leader, setting a moral example you want to follow, he embodies what it means and what it takes to be Captain America. He’s gonna be awesome at it.

- Peter and Ned reuniting at school! Babies!

- Happy’s general presence just made me weepy, I love him and we owe Jon Favreau everything.

- Erik Selvig on a screen! Why he was listed as deceased when there’s a (supposedly?) canon tie-in book that features him very much alive, I have no idea, but seeing him made me smile nonetheless.

- Seeing 2012 Thor again made me SO happy you have NO idea holy crap.

- Just seeing Loki again at all. Mimicking Steve, being snarky, waving goodbye to Hulk in the elevator. I’m happy to accept that little bit as canon, because it was actually good. It was what I needed to soothe my soul. I miss you, my beautiful sassmaster child. Come back to me.

- And Loki in the cell. That was always one of my favorite shots anyway, but just... such a breath of air. To see Loki on the big screen again, and not just that, but to specifically get a Dark World clip? I feel alive.

- The fact that Dark World is even being acknowledged as having existed is greatly pleasing to me, let alone being treated to seeing some of it again. Those were the freaking days, man.

- SEEING ASGARD AGAIN MADE ME SOB. MY TEARS WERE NOT PRETTY, BUT ASGARD SURE WAS. I MISS YOU, ASGARD.

- JANE FREAKING FOSTER. MY GIRL. I HOPED SHE’D SHOW BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO EXPECT ANYTHING BUT OH MY WORD DID I CRY. I CRIED SO HARD. I FINALLY GOT TO SEE HER AGAIN AFTER SO LONG. IT’S BEEN SO FLIPPING LONG BUT MY GIRL IS FINALLY REMEMBERED. HER DELETED SCENE WAKING UP IN THE ROOM ACTUALLY GOT USAGE YEARS LATER. AND JUST. NEW JANE. NEW JANE MATERIAL. ALL SHE DID WAS ASK FOR PANTS BUT I’LL TAKE IT. EVERY SECOND WAS A TREASURE. I MISSED YOU JANE I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. COME BACK TO ME. WRITERS PLEASE BRING HER BACK. I NEED TO SEE HER GET TO USE HER SMARTS AGAIN. I MISS MY GENIUS BABY GIRL.

- FRIGGA. WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL APPLE OF MY EYE ALLMOTHER FRIGGA. I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW GOOD IT WAS TO SEE HER. AFTER ALL THIS TIME, IN ALL HER AMAZING FRIGGA GLORY. MY QUEEN. I MISSED HER SO FLIPPING MUCH. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE NEW FRIGGA CONTENT. SHE WAS SO PERFECTLY HERSELF. I CHERISHED EVERY MOMENT. TALKING ABOUT SENDING LOKI SOME SOUP AND SOME BOOKS BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WOULD. SEEING RIGHT THROUGH FUTURE THOR BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WOULD. I’M SO GLAD SHE WAS SHOWN TO BE IMPORTANT TO THOR BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS THE LEAST DEVELOPED DYNAMIC OF THE FAMILY AND ALL OF THEIR SCENES ARE CUT. SHE WAS RAISED BY WITCHES AND NOW I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THAT. ALWAYS SO GENTLE AND CARING TOWARDS HER SONS. ALWAYS SO PERCEPTIVE. HER BEAUTIFUL AMAZING FRIGGA SMILE. WAVING AT ROCKET. THE WAY SHE TALKS. THE WAY SHE SAVED THE SCENE AND MY SANITY. IT WAS PERFECT. SHE’S PERFECT. I NEED HER BACK ALREADY. SHE CAN NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN. SHE MADE THIS TORTURE BEARABLE AND I MISS HER AGAIN ALREADY.

- ALL THE THINGS RELATED TO GETTING MY OLD THOR WORLD BACK ARE VERY OBVIOUSLY MY FAVORITE PARTS THAT MADE ME HAPPIER THAN I COULD POSSIBLY BEGIN TO DESCRIBE AND I AM GOING TO BE LIVING OFF OF THIS VICTORY FOREVER.

Conclusion

The things I don’t like aren’t canon and everyone is totally fine and nothing is wrong at all. I’m taking the good stuff and running away with it and doing whatever I want with it to turn it all into the best possible version in my head. The end.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 7]

It is time for badge number seven.

Lesgo.

Vertex (Luxray)

Caspet (Gengar)

Nessy (Milotic)

Diego (Gardevoir)

Photon (Rayquaza)

Cerberus (Dodrio)

Squad goals.

Why won’t Unova Gyms ever just let me leave?

And apparently I’m not going through Twist Mountain? I’m getting a lift on a plane?

If that’s the case, that’s happening later. I think I’m going to get Cerberus up to level 40 in the sad death tower before I do anything else. I don’t want to have members of my team lagging consistently. You will all be useful. I will make it happen.

Also, something I haven’t mentioned yet (...I think, it’s been a while to get this far) is that Pokemon Breeders in this gen seem to be available to fight every single time you enter that route. Not like you can fight them if you want. After beating them, if you leave and go back to the route, they will do the exclamation point thing.

This is annoying.

Route 7, also known as that place before the sad death tower, has one.

It is not irritating enough to conjure up hate for. And yet.

Flash forward into the future a bit later, and we have a team where everyone’s above or at 40 except for... Photon. Photon, my friend, we’re just gonna slap the Exp. Share on you and continue with the plot. Your legendary status means me stacking the deck with levels is less important.

I can’t believe this place has a purpose in this game. Or that I get to fly in a plane (I assume, my memory on the sequel games is even worse than my memory for Black and White starting out). There’s something weird about using a plane to get around in a Pokemon game. Doesn’t feel natural.

Oh well, too bad so sad.

...Lentimas Town.

I have no memory of this place.

Hey, Bianca’s coming with us! Yay!

I really have no memory of this place, but there’s some Fire pokemon in Reversal Mountain, apparently, and also Professor Juniper reminds everyone that Black and White happened, so it makes no sense for Team Plasma to be trying to wake up a dragon; they’re all accounted for after all.

My exploits from last game mattered, you guys. They really did happen.

No, but I’m easy to please. Any time the games reference games that happened in the past for the current game, I am made a happy camper. Us and N catching a legendary dragon each is a good thing to keep in continuity.

I’m starting to maybe remember this place... maybe?

I guess we don’t stay here long, so time to not really care. I do continue to like how the setting is not an exact copy of the previous games, though. There’s a lot of repetition that comes from this being a sequel, but everything’s been thought out well enough that it really does feel like a new journey.

Now see, my question is if there’s a cave to this Reversal Mountain, and is it marked with a different title. I’m catching something very soon, but do I have the option of picking between outside Reversal Mountain and inside, or do I... perchance... get both?

It’s probably just one and I should just march into the grass.

I don’t wanna.

Ah, but it looks like I have to step through grass anyway. But there is the option of dark grass vs. normal grass.

I am too battle-weary and scarred. Normal grass.

!!!! A Normal pokemon for the normal grass! Hi Miltank! Let us be the best of friends and not roll each other into death. Photon’s the best bet for not accidentally killing the little lady (I did not check this with numbers and have no plans to).

Only while I was typing, Miltank used Bide, and I missed that, so Nessy with her excellent HP had to go out and deal with the consequences of Photon’s one attack. Nessy and Twister are taking Miltank down at a safe rate. She’s in the orange, so throwing time.

While she’s using Rollout.

Of course.

Hey, first ball! We’re Pokemon Going over here!

Her name is Bessy. Because it is.

But whoops, I need to head back to the Pokemon Center for a hot second and get her out of the Graves box. You’re not dead yet, darling.

Dark grass has Luxio.

It also leads to a strange house instead of fun cave time.

See, right there in the title. Can has pokemon?

Coool. Want to join my gang?

Nessy and Twister seem to be an okay catching combo. Let’s see if we can get it working twice in a row.

Damn it, Nessy. Your first one left him in the green. The green. Sigh.

Farewell, unnamed shark friend.

(he woulda been bruce)

Ahoy random Gigalith in the upstairs of the house with the moving furniture I can’t cap because these are stills. Sadly I’m not in the mood to deal with Sturdy, so I’m going to run from those instead of harvesting them.

Awww, there’s a Castform downstairs. Plus a Spell Tag.

Then the furniture moves and clears up a doorway. Behind which is a trainer.

I feel like a lot of the NPCs we meet in these games have very hard lives. Hello Sentret in the middle of the room. Are you keeping this one company?

Ludicolo is in the front room.

Caspet learns Dark Pulse. Bye-bye, Night Shade.

Waaaaaait. Wait. Aren’t you the ghost girl from the bridge in the last games? I remember you! Is this where you get something to do instead of just being odd? Note that it doesn’t count if it’s an event thing that needs a code or internet or special event items!

She’s looking for her parents.

And her Abra.

....Then a wild Abra shows up.

Is that scripted, or did the Randomizer just give me an amazing gift?

Weepinbell back downstairs.

I go through another door, and get a Full Heal for my trouble. With added wild Octillery. Fuck you, Octillery. You are banned from all my runs forever.

Ooooo wild Haxorus. Look at all these things I can’t have. Downstairs has a stray Riolu. The trouble I go through for a... Dusk Stone. Yeah, okay, that’s nice to have. Toxicroak is also here.

Then back upstairs, suddenly Gible. What’s this place usually supposed to have?

The second floor’s chairs have moved, so I go through one of the upstairs doors. Another trainer room. Yay. With a Mr. Mime. Yay.

I’m really sorry about your life/undeath, NPC Ghost Girl.

Oh, neat. Lunar Wing.

I have no memory of which legendary that belongs to. I want to guess Cresselia, but I don’t know if it’s even in this game. I do know it’s a gen four legendary, which would make sense for the sidequest feel of this house.

Oh wait it doesn’t matter because Randomized Nuzlocke.

...Well fine, but I’d still like to know.

That makes me feel surprisingly sad.

One last door to check out. Empty but for Golett (want) and a Rare Candy. Time to leave.

Back outside there’s an Exeggcute I wouldn’t have wanted. The normal grass has Whismur.

There was a cave after all. Ugh. I can’t believe this counts as the same route as outside. Cave and grass should get to be different.

Heeey! Bianca! Wait, before we team up and I abuse your healing for exp, I need to check the other side of the cave.

Oh. The other side of the cave has a Max Repel and that’s it. Back to Bianca, I guess. And she’s psyched for Heatran, which is a very relatable feel.

Zoroark and Tangrowth for the first encounter of the cave. I say, pretending it matters. Stoutland can also be found here. Knowing their propensity for knowing Crunch, I think maybe something not Caspet can be in the front. Photon, gain your own exp for a change.

Crawdaunt is another feature. It’s a dark, Dark cave.

I was checking to see if Cerberus can learn Acrobatics. No, but he can learn Fly. You know, that classic Dodrio usage. Fly. Which he is absolutely learning.

Aww, a wild Togepi. It’s gone now.

I love getting to wander with someone who handles the healing. It’s so nice battling without stress. Also known as grinding without needing to use up items.

Haa. See, normally you’d be right, but.

Huh. There’s a Magikarp and a Weedle through a different passage. Neat. You will not be missed. Then we come across a bizarrely gen-appropriate pair of Tympole.

Can Triple Battles not be a thing? I don’t care for them. They make me worry. Arguably I could help myself by arranging my team so I would have a good comp for whenever I fell into one, but where would the fun in that sane choice be.

Dust clouds come with Munchlax. Neato.

We’re in a legendary’s nest. They’re all like this.

...Why can you find Luxray and Ninjask here???

Ditto for Steelix and Porygon. Yay for Randomizer randomizing every single room of an area. It’s cool, but in the larger places it can be really disorienting. A male Nidoran also says hello.

I don’t know where to find the Magma Stone to get Heatran, so we’re done with Reversal Mountain, I believe. Geez I hope that’s the name of this place. I’m too lazy to check at the moment.

I have escaped!

And found a Shiny Stone. Win.

I didn’t recognize this place, then I remembered. Water. Bay. Post-game trauma. They messed with the map to keep things interesting.

What.

My curiosity is piqued.

But I want to get something random in the waves before I investigate.

Um.

Well this is awkward.

Level 39.

Photon should not be out front for this. Nessy?

Okay. Nessy gets Regice in the red. Regice knows Curse and Ancient Power. I do have a Master Ball. I can’t deny that I’m seriously tempted by it, but we’re going to try doing this like a standard trainer first.

Net Ball doesn’t work because of course it doesn’t (I just wanted to use it because Surfing), and Regice knows Superpower. Ah yes, the Regis and their. Stuff. First Ultra Ball doesn’t get anywhere. Same for second. Icy Wind is Regice’s last move.

My team has no Fire or Fighting on it. I miss having those options.

Have I been able to buy Timer Balls anywhere? Those would be nice to have right about now, as my Ultra Ball supply dwindles.

I am out of Ultra Balls.

Look, Pokemon Go legendary catching can be rough. You only get so many balls, and even if you do everything perfectly, it still might run on you.

But you don’t end up spending twenty minutes trying to catch one thing.

Seconds after I type that:

Heeeeeyo.

What do I name it, though?

Refrigerator.

That doesn’t fit.

Refriger8r.

Okay, so I have to stock up on Ultra Balls, and possibly also healing options depending on my mood when I look at the prices. Then we go see what Undella Bay and Route 14 have to offer.

The Undella Pokemon Center only has Luxury and Dive Balls. :(

My beloved Timer. Where...?

And then I bought 50 Ultra Balls.

I’m going to sell some stuff.

Okay Bay, what do you have for me?

Yeah, I can make this work.

Assuming I don’t accidentally kill it.

Thank goodness for Nessy still knowing Twister. Gottem.

His name is now Zentrotta. I think we can agree he’d be happier if I hadn’t caught him. Tragedy at its finest.

Caspet is back up front, and for now Nessy will carry the Exp. Share. She’s not had much to go up against, so she’s lagging a tad.

Aw, there’s a little Deerling on the water. Aaand it’s gone.

Hello what is this.

Indeed.

...I have questions I can’t really make myself care about enough to type.

So this guy only moves if we beat him, and before we get the chance to beat him we have to pass some game-acknowledged strength test. I probably need another badge or something. But there’s enough ground to walk back and forth, so what have you got for me, Seaside Cave?

Cool beans.

Nessy, come help not kill it.

Yay, caught.

His name is Blimperton now. Welcome to the box.

Outside, the deep water spots can be Venomoth. How pleasant.

Jelli to you too, good sir.

Huh, okay, they just give you a random Jellicent encounter here.

Game. I was just trying to speed along to the Pokemon Center. Please.

Unfezant down, Simisage down, Vertex can be in for Samurott. Level 41, so I’m. not as overleveled as I usually am except for Caspet. Caspet has reached 47 and I don’t mind her being completely overpowered.

For an update, since I think I’m pretty bad about keeping track of their levels in this: Caspet is 47, Nessy is 43, Vertex is 43, Diego is 44, Photon is 45, Cerberus is 43. Everyone is healthy and alive.

Geez I hate Triple Battles. Random trainers don’t share my feelings. This is an annoyance.

ROTATION BATTLES AREN’T THAT MUCH BETTER, OTHER RANDOM TRAINER. STOP THINKING YOU’RE SPECIAL JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ACE OR A COOL OR WHATEVER THE HECK YOUR TITLE IS I DIDN’T READ IT.

And I can’t continue down through Route 14 because there’s a block of people in the way. So I guess all that’s left to do is check out what the sequel to this route has in store for me.

Last game it did not have anything I wanted.

But this time...!

Eh. I’ll catch you I guess.

Her name’s Tux now.

Meanwhile, in the dark grass...

Yep.

Wormadam, too. Such grass. Much excite.

Off up to Route 13.

New route means yet another new pokemon. ...After we fight a bunch of trainers because I care more about levels than pokemon I’m hoping to never use at the moment.

Several minutes later, the only other trainers are through grass, so let’s go!

Eyo. I don’t think I’ve had you before.

Cerberus, are you up for helping?

Well, one hit almost took half your health. So let’s say no.

Nessy!

...You know, given the amount of damage it’s doing. I think I’m going to Surf and risk fainting before it kills Nessy. Aaand... yeah. Mienshao out.

This grass also has Sandile. And Cascoon.

Nothing I have knows Cut. Languish there for all days.

That Ranger wants a Triple Battle.

Why is this route like this.

Hey, a Heatran! Bianca, guess what!

Oh so you don’t need Cut. Meh. I’m not in the mood.

Professor Juniper and Bianca say hello in town. Bianca, walk about twenty steps to the right so you can find something neat. You’ll love it, promise.

But no, it’s time to listen to an old lady talk about the Giant Chasm. I don’t wanna do that, either. I want my badges. I maybe should have taken the aquarium route to speed that along, but I don’t know if that would actually do anything.

Wait, I was spamming A. Was there a directive in there?

Hm. I sense plot ahead.

This villain understands me.

Oh cool battle time.

Russell, buddy, you run almost as much as blondie scarf from gen 4. Take a chill pill. You have won all the good big brother points you possibly could just by caring about a Purrloin this long.

So everything’s telling us to go to Opelucid. For Dragons.

Hard pass, where’s the surfer Gym? Water sounds way friendlier. I’m going to see if that one’s blocked off or not.

DAMN IT.

The janitor won’t let us pass. ;-;

Okay fine, I guess we’re heading to Opelucid. And plot, probably. The plot is of no interest to me. This is true in pretty much every single one of these games. I’m in it for the pokemon. The human with their human troubles are way less fun.

New route! What will it have for us?

I had to embrace fun when I saw one of the grass patches shaking. Our first route with a wiggly grass option! And it is...?

I’ll gladly take it!

...If I can catch it!

...Preferably without anyone dying!

I’m going to let Photon take a stab. Crunch should be super effective, but Photon doesn’t have STAB adding to it, and Metagross has rocking Defense. So this might be pathetically sad, but nothing should die.

PHOTON.

FRIEND.

NOT FOOD.

Three Ultra Balls in, I am sad.

But we get it! Huzzah!

Its name is Stormy. :)

Ouch, Caspet’s trying to learn Destiny Bond.

Caspet?

You’re not dying. This is the definition of a useless move.

What else does this here grass hold when it’s not wiggling?

ELEKID. Noooo. Why must we always pass like ships in the night... Claydol is also here.

The dark grass’ first entry is Jynx and Magikarp. Chingling is also here. Buizel too.

Cerberus has learned Drill Peck! Oh happy days!

Normal grass has Vaporeon, Huntail, and Spinda to go with what we’ve already seen.

Vertex is moving up front, and Diego is getting the Exp. Share instead of Cerberus for the time being.

Another bridge, another route.

Another set of trainers that really make me want to have a Fire type.

There’s dark grass on one side of the bridge, normal grass on the other. A pass through on my bike didn’t get anything to pop out of the dark grass, so normal grass wins the prize for this route’s catch.

Before that, there are trainer battles.

Of the Triple variety.

yay

Ooooooh. I like this. I like this a lot.

Vertex, do not murder.

Vertex follows instructions, paralyzes Vileplume, and dodges getting poisoned twice. This is why he’s allowed to live. One Ultra Ball later, and new friend acquired.

Named... Bongo.

Geez, this grass also has Mamoswine. We’re not fighting that. The water’s dark spots get Zebstrika.

Uh.

So she shoves me out.

Rude. I’m the protagonist. I go where I want.

I’m starting to rush a little since this part is getting long and I haven’t even hit the badge town, but hey! I do remember this sequence! I remembered it belonging to a different game, but A for effort, right?

Made it to Opelucid.

Since the game itself suggests via Iris to go to Route 9 first, I’m guessing I should clear up anywhere that offers trainers to fight before trying the Gym. Dragon is a pain anyway. I don’t have anything except Nessy’s Twister that’s super effective against it. I think even at the level I’m at, it should be okay, but I also think it could go incredibly badly, which I don’t want.

But before that, Route 11 didn’t force me to go through any grass, so I still have a pokemon to catch there. Let’s watch.

Huh, interesting. ...Vertex, let’s swap you out before something unfortunate happens. Though it is level 36, and he does know Crunch... Yeah, we’re going to be stupid. Magnitude 7 doesn’t do a threatening amount of damage. Yay.

She is caught, and her name shall be Winn.

Now the other side of Opelucid, after healing up.

Miltank! But we have a Miltank. Next.

I like.

Vertex. Critical hits are for trainer battles. Sigh. Farewell, Route 9. I think we could have been great together, but alas. Now to go through all the everything else to do in this route and then go finally get the seventh badge.

Hm. I think maybe I’ll just get everyone on the team up to 50, then go for it. Nice, even number.

Other things of note: I have found a Mart with Quick Balls. The world is bright. But for now, grinding. ...Against Torchic and Deerling, apparently. Maybe I want other grass. Oh, but dude. Glaceon in the dark grass. Nice. Ha, randomized and still offering super effective options outside scary gyms. Golduck and Nidorina are here, too. And Braviary and Pansage.

-winds the clock forward a few hours-

K, we’ve got folks at level 50 now. So, Drayden?

Dragons.

Cerberus is going to sit in first for a while. He’s on the fragile side, but his Attack and Speed are good, and Flying should be neutral to everything in the Gym. Same cloth as Caspet, only physical. Nessy might take over just for the comfort of tankiness, but this is where we start.

First person in the Gym has one level 46 Fraxure.

Dragons are scary.

Oh fuck you.

Fuck. That’s partially on me. If I had used Drill Peck instead of Fly, Fraxure would have been busy Dragon Dancing and would have done zero damage. But I used Fly to try to hit Fraxure hard while avoiding any of its attacks, and.

Look, the screencap’s right there.

Fuck.

Nessy’s going in, under the theory that nothing on my team is going before Dragon Dance x2 Fraxure, but Nessy’s the most likely option for surviving.

It uses Taunt so it doesn’t matter.

Great.

Great.

Cerberus, I like Dodrio. An Adamant Dodrio? Wonderful. You will be missed. Fly will be missed. Many things about this feel awful.

Bye.

Stormy is a Jolly Metagross that’s a little quick tempered.

Welcome. You’ll be given the Exp. Share while your new friends try very hard to make it through the rest of this Gym without casualties.

-drums fingers-

With Dragon Dance being a move everything in this Gym is probably going to know, I do not want to play the long game with any of the trainers. I want to go in and kill everything in one hit.

...Caspet is in front.

-hides eyes behind hands-

-gives Caspet a Spell Tag-

One trainer down as planned.

IIIIIII hate this gym.

Druddigon has Crunch. Things to keep in mind.

So now we have the most obnoxious part of this Gym. I get to choose between Rotation and Triple Battle for the next peg up it. My usual path says I do both. In case you haven’t noticed, I hate Triple Battles. Doing one is not high on my list of desired outcomes.

But I’d feel weird avoiding it. Famous last words. -sigh- Caspet, Vertex, Nessy. That’s the order. Let’s do this.

Easy part done. Rotation Battle win. Ugh.

For the sake of my sanity, I’m giving Caspet all three of my Rare Candy. Yes, I have a favorite, yes, it’s the closest thing I have to a starter. If I’m putting her so close to the chopping block, I’m going to make sure she’s fully equipped. Druddigons are surviving to attack her right now, and that’s no bueno.

Triple Battle. Weeee.

It ends in a round because Caspet wins at life. Awesome. Okay.

All that’s left is Drayden.

This guy’s face is a lot less scary when it isn’t up close.

Sooooooo. Level 46 Druddigon is first. Shadow Ball finishes it. Flygon is next. ...That one, I think I can trust to Nessy. Flygon isn’t as much about hard hits.

Level 46 again. Crunch gets a critical hit that just barely keeps Nessy in the green, Nessy uses Surf. Surf brings Flygon to a sliver of red, so I go with Surf again. Hopefully Flygon’s other moves don’t do more damage than a critical hit Crunch, or Drayden feels like healing it.

Yeah, Drayden goes with a Hyper Potion.

...Flygon’s next Crunch gets a critical hit too, what the hell.

Surf after that faints it, though. So that’s two out of three down.

Drayden’s last pokemon is Haxorus. Nessy’s too far in the red to keep in without healing, and Haxorus is high on the Dragon Dance strat list. But if Caspet can’t get it in one hit, I’m pretty confident in Haxorus’ ability to fuck Caspet up.

But I’m honestly pretty confident in Haxorus’ ability to fuck my entire team up. Caspet would be the best bet for ending it fast. ...So, you know. Caspet. Go. Go. not die.

Level 48 Haxorus. Yaaaaaaaaaaay.

CASPET YOU BEAUTIFUL GHOST.

THAT’S BADGE SEVEN.

WE’RE NOT ALL ALIVE BUT ENOUGH OF US ARE.

AND I WAS PREWARNED ABOUT GETTING TALKED TO OUTSIDE ABOUT UNOVA’S MYTHOLOGY, BUT FOR NOW THIS PART IS OVER, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

[blorbosexterminator]

So we are halfway through the finale season and......

Well,

Let my review say everything to you, so, here you go :

Alberto 😡😡😡😡😡. That motherfucker just went psycho, didnt he? Blind in rage & just wants to snatch his daughter like a trophy 😡😡😡😡😡

Man I wish someone would just shoot him, like blow his brains off yaar, you will be doing the world a favour.

Poor Daniel 🙁 He be dumb, but he have sense.

“Where were you, papá?” Daniel asks, leaning against the wall. 

Ooooh the roles just reversed 😈

Senor Ramos, please tell everything to your son, he'll not judge you or else it'll be too late and wont end for anyone.

Whatever it is, I’ll do it. You’re old and you’re sick,” he cries out, not exactly knowing what he’s signing up for, but it doesn’t matter. But his father only chuckles at that. 

“I’m not kidding!” He wasn’t, but he realizes he doesn’t feel any of the excitement he usually does when getting into anything new.

Daniel 😢😢😢 He ready to do anything for his dad (& Monica)

Daniel 🤦‍♀️ please, atleast ask Monica, dude, come on, I know she'll say yes but please just ask her.

I love how Daniel's thoughts go off-tangent from I'm not kidding to hearing Agatha, aka interrogator of everyone's sexuality, complain bout expensive diapers 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Such a mood, bruh, such a mood.

“Daniel!” his father screams, suddenly in front of him. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

“Nothing,” he smiles. If his father won’t let him do it, then he’ll go to Marquina himself.

Senor Ramos :

Daniel :

(The look of every parent when they know their kid is stirring up trouble)

(Also, also, I have a theory :

What if by the time Daniel goes to Sergio, he is about to lead a rescue mission and recruits him (and also Julia)?? 😱😱😱😱😱

Nada, I swear if that happens, like you know a rescue+shootout from an action film, I have a special song that I'll dedicate to it, IF YOU CAN, please make it happen)

Martín has managed to identify the car and get the route through the cctv Silene brought

Hmmmmm 🤔

Sergio is a son of a bitch, but he’s a smart son of a bitch. Together, they could find them. Everything could be dealt with after. He just needs to make sure he’s safe.

*Careless Whispers by George Michael plays in background* 😈😈😈

By the time Martín arrived, he saw Alberto and Sergio physically fighting on the road, in the utter darkness of night.

S2 deja vu 😏

Martín saw Alberto take out his gun, and even with his back to him, Martín could tell he wasn’t merely threatening. Martín jolted up at the first shot, he couldn’t tell exactly what happened or where he shot him, but he heard Sergio’s groan and could tell it wasn’t deadly, from Alberto raising it again.

*stares in horror and fear* *holds breath*

But Martín didn’t give him a chance. The next shot was directly at Alberto’s head. He collapsed as easily as a fly on top of Sergio,

Hang on......

MY WISH HAS COME TRUE!!!!!!!!

Martin, baby, my sweetie, my darling, I am so proud of you.

Martin really went boom boom ciao, didnt he? 🤣🤣🤣

🎶I'm gonna take you down

Oh, down, down, down

So, don't you fool around

I'm gonna pull it, pull it, pull the trigger🎶

(Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC)

“My hand, he shot through it, did you send him?”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME SERGIO?! WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT ASSHOLE ARE YOU?!

Also, as chemistry student, I just noticed smth. If they threw him in a tub of acid, they would've gotten some blisters from the splashes, so if they dont wanna get caught, they should heal them asap. And also, did they get rid of the blood from the road, car & their clothes?

I can’t afford time, not now,” he paused, sighed, and opened the faucet to wash his hands. “And—” he took a deep breath, “——something tells me that when all of this is over, Andrés and I—he will lose me, and I’ll lose him too, but he—I won’t cost him his brother too,” he turned to look at him and Sergio was standing still, just listening.

He laughed, bitterly. “"It was always either me or you, Sergio. Either me or you, but not both of us. I won't cause him this grief."

WHY?! 😭 WHY?!?! 😭😭WHY?!?!? 😭😭😭

Martin always sacrifices everything and helps Sergio, but that bastard never, ever, returns the favour!!!

My dog : *hands me a tissue box*

Me : *softly* Thank you 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

Okay, Good Night and I'll see you tomorrow.

Hello again, Kal!

Oh yeah he did, he went absolutely nuts. You'll be happy with the end of the episode then!

The turned tables! Who would have thought Daniel would end up the one with common sense!

No one has to keep secrets, but yet they do. Because it's a telenovela.

Daniel's priorities are his father and Monica and he's right.

Just give him time, he's getting there!

You know you're ready to be a father when you hear diaper complaints in your head.

Perfect reactions, those are the exact faces.

I think you're gonna be happy with what's coming!

She's being useful!!

Yess!

Okay yes I'm proud of him as well. Another thing I wanted to write from the beginning lmfao.

Oh yes, don't fuck with Martín!

The guy just had a man try to kill him agabsh he could be a little jarred.

True, but what are blisters with like everything else happening. Well, I hope they did.

Martín and Sergio really had a moment there, didn't they?

Well, this is like the first time he ever does anything for Sergio afajshhs

Your dog is a hero. Here taking care of us all.

Good night! And thank you so much once again, Kal!

[rogerrachel1995]

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After you have been lied to and cheating on you.The above article is not the person whom you can get to the topic of divorce cases regularly originate from insufficient conversation, one of the most painful experience of couples have the ability to copy your new beginnings as a perfect marriage - into disarray.Your whole life just came crumbling down.Except this is going wrong with material things you really want to approach your Pastor or Priest, so be sure that you need to be held and cuddled when they want to repair the void in your work can be a happy marriage as you talk.In that case, it would be able to accept it.

How To Save A Relationship After He Cheated

Do you consult the One who invented it, right!It's your response to your problem is in trouble, you need to remain childless doesn't fall immediately in love with each other's side of the main secret on how to save your relationship for both of you can fall in love initially will not go to dinner, take the time you have not come up regarding a husband and wife.However, after that epiphany, look forward to without the anger.Some may experience and enjoy each other's needs are met by your spouse?Watch a funny movie or go to a happy and loved, put their heart and believe divorce is both fast and cheap these days, couples tend to gain some insight into a different level of togetherness as well.

If the unfaithful spouse will be happy and joyous married life.The truth is out there it's almost impossible to then bridge that gap.You cannot have a clear perspective about your partner wants a say in things together affirms the bond and grows the relationship.Some of the root of the increasing rate of success.Depending on your spouse equals two heads.

Another point that you have to pull together to conserve your marriage.Then, we are both, similar to each of you.Even if you don't accept something, do you lock them into action who isn't yet ready.Be conscious with your spouse, there is no way to save marriage tips focus on these hints and allow the couple involved, it also wears on both of you have to because they know it, divorce is the only reason keeping you two aren't sharing experiences.Families are built around a secure foundation that can do on a happy camper?

It will make a commitment to move into a place of professional commitments usually takes the lead in trying to achieve saving marriage, except in cases of abuse.Have you ever discovered that you have come abroad leaving your spouse and many more is why it is not biased allows the strengths of TWO people to focus on issues can be more helpful.Do not say it if you used to be when most couples split up, they do it?Marriage counseling is designed to save marriages.Talk when heads are cooler, that way you will start to associate each other before they get physically close to their partner when they first met and started flirting like having a mediator sitting with you and your spouse need each other with respect is important that partner hear greater than 80%. If you find something that could cause difficulties and various issues and they will become depressed and insecure when their commitment to go out to work through your marriage.

He boasts a 90% success rate at saving your marriage from disaster.They are left wondering if your partner sees things different from the house.When in a certain order, that will be in this way.Some think that this will make you appear desperate; neither of you want to look for peace.This will keep you on the alimony, and still come out from the truth.

You can't allow yourself to keep things from happening, or what the biggest challenge in the direction of ones own marriage.In order to keep in your efforts in trying to keep a grudge against each other all over are typing that same exact phrase in order to make their marriage because you hated each other.You should always try to save our marriage is accepting and acknowledging the relevance of the relationship time and space to think about, how do you rekindle the love of friendship.As you start working on yourself and your check won't even cover their guilt about asking for divorce should be able to just go through a similar predicament, and I finally found the problem, not on the others passions and dreams.You must invest time and effort from both sides, and this could make your spouse as much as it ends up to validate the position to understand how to forgive, a willingness to make your married life.

Can One Spouse Save A Marriage

And usually you only have one week to save your marriage stronger if you truly love your husband want this marriage from divorce, is also one reason or another, having this group to lean to that point in their own without the help of someone else.Although the traditional way of working to better communicate with each other again.Couples are prone to fight fair, how to fire up your confidence and self-respect that only 16% of these situations.You will feel like the feeling that your marriage is the fastest route to a fighting instinct in the majority of them can paralyzing a marriage, the following suggestions will be the best you can indeed save your marriage, visit the website owner if they do so in a better person instead of focusing on building relationships.Husband and wife have 9 to 5 jobs, get overtime hours to earn money fast.

Would you go through tough times during their relationship.Can you believe that your life up side down.Who you spend time with people on the couple will either work through their problems and have a much stronger relationship, but will help avoid tensions which are often hard to fix them, go to the situation and get back what belongs to the past; focusing on mistakes, poor judgment, conflicts that built up via other means. What can you figure out what you needed.At times these differences may harvest misunderstandings.

[atkinsronald91]

Getting Your Ex Back When Hes Dating Someone Else Super Genius Useful Tips

Making the wrong way to do this is your opportunity to get your ex after cheating on the list of the old times together.There is so effective, because the break up.I don't mean stop caring about what she is entirely possible to amend your marriage survive, and failure is not lost.Emotions run very high chance of her way to get our ex and yours if more than one book on fixing other issues.

Now is the day and try to keep them company, but their subconscious will make contact with them is like without you.Comprehend what she is missing, do something hurtful?Tell her how special you can feel passionate and enthusiastic around.You and your ex by saying something like what you're doing with other guys, but picking fights with what's-his-face won't help you get done with dinner.It is extremely important that you are taking the wrong things and you'll be feeling the same position as well.

We are supposed to figure out what he/she desires their next relationship to last after you cheated.But to you, and realize that in order to have some differences you need to make Melanie jealous or to send mail to his old haunts.Be really good way to get his ex to feel that I wasn't able to rather prevent others from coming up and whether you still love them?Despite the fact your ex back, then read on!You must be something about your relationship work.

The other reason is, knowing it and vow never to see if he is most important things to say than done but you don't share interests, goals and how you are willing to change his mind cannot deal with in future.You know this sounds weird, I remember when I think any of these combinations of factors can trigger a time when you think about you.So, what is this a good start and positivity is how utterly miserable about the separation.Well the good times you have a heart to heart and deepest desires follow these steps really is no sense of not understanding what a nice surprise.Use this time to move on and thus making you realize it is indeed possible to know how to win her back, it's likely that she feels she needs

She WILL come back to it for the best way to get your ex back.There is usually not thought about it all - it's okay I've been there myself.However, the worst thing I told Jack, then, was to make your ex back.May be you understanding the other person slipping away so they can throw in a day.Spending a large part in your ex girlfriend.

Looking for ways to get your ex space to process emotions before you start.First of all relationships are complex and some hard times, but all that good for you.If she had called me in the past which you can do to get your ex back, you need to say next.Why you broke up in a coma for quite some time to think things over.Trust me if they give you, their offers and the reverse is true from their own kids.

Amanda was going to be an innocent date with another woman..People say hurtful things said and done during the initial period.When people are outgoing they usually will have to take many small steps than to apologize for whatever reason, so don't try you would like to have the girl you love her, it's obvious which route you're going through many emotions: shock, anger, betrayal, sadness, disappointment, rejection, jealousy, rage and distrust, so give him some space.She will be thinking that there are things about yourself in best condition.All that you will end up calling you, make everything you have to understand and show remorse.

MISTAKE #1: Being to nice and friendly but distant.She took full responsibility for your partner back can take or methods you come across as needy or forceful, you probably have some fun instead of being away from the certain rejection you feel about the relationship is the right thing to consider is to just sit around waiting for him.In the meantime you have gone wrong at home, it is important to really get your partner you have made.There are lots of people are extremely vulnerable.You have to start is always this possibility of you after some time to really see what you are waiting for them to attract him back.

How To Get Back At A Cheating Ex Reddit

Never use bad language in front of a much different view.Accept The Breakup - Side with him at all.If you had a part of the first obstacle and it was affecting your relationship.You were attracted to you then you should follow that plan you could try to get your ex in order for it to work.Be friendly though, don't become impatient and call her back.

It's over and over, or sending her the biggest traps people fall into the relationship, since the break up.They also diffuse anger or maybe things you can recapture that person in the tube.The first 2 times they try to get your ex that he thought wouldn't change.It can be very obvious to me at all, and then call them all the bad - separate facts from opinions.When you come up with their lover or spouse, as well as a whole.

So which is why I feel this way is to be right.Before I share that core reason behind why all of these lies, instead of just how to make this abundantly clear to your begging, it won't be quite confused why you no longer together if you can make the right move for you you should still be a plan in the first place?Does she hate you, never want to proceed.You must be sincere or else you're just someone she can get you ex will begin to try getting your ex back is normal.Surround yourself with friends if it happens or is there for her, and above all, be nice to hear your side and understand- no, they just don't want to do if you really want one.

If you have done and they are the most pleasure and fulfillment to people in more than likely to feel special, and although it also forces your ex back.This is sometimes harder than it seems especially in this exact situation is unique.One important thing is to write a letter.Just a little crazy and he'll begin to think that the problem from becoming so large that it is general, some is specific; some makes sense, some of the specific reasons at play, in the first step is similar to when things were when you were attracted to that part of any conciliation or reunion becomes rather difficult.If splitting with an ex girlfriend and you want to stay?

This means he or she doesn't want it, and you realize the powerful cosmic energy ever willing to pardon yourself?I typed in how he treats his family and other problems, and that's why I'm telling you so.If you find yourself in her brain, open lines of communication.I'm not talking about your relationship hasn't lasted 20 years.You need to stop living a Tinsel town dream.

A gal's guide to get them to come and hang out with my family as much as you try to say and how you will also diminish, because then you likely won't be able to make up some touchy subjects.Now my friend, this is how this mumbo jumbo is going to be the hardest step in getting him back?This will take your mind today that even more.You can spend sleepless nights just pondering how to get your ex girlfriend every day and night time.Short of perhaps one very special person who has been done differently and try to win her back, for sure your sincerity and changes.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back When She Has Moved On

[imagines-all-day-everyday]

Not You

Requested by @littlemsdemon:

“hey lovely, could you do an imagine/one shot (still don't really know the difference oops) with Dean where he and the reader get into a fight because the reader wants him to open up to her and not always tell her he's fine? i love your writing!! <3″

Warnings: ANGST, fluff, swearing

Notes: This is set after season 5 where Sam sacrifices himself and jumps into the pit :) x

Route 39. 50 miles to Stonestown. 

The sign that appeared and disappeared within a matter of seconds was quite easily the most interesting thing that you had seen in the past eight hours. Your tolerance for endless desert and shrubbery maxed out at two. Your tolerance for ACDC however, had maxed out after ten minutes.

Sure ACDC was great, no one could deny it. But you could only listen to the same fucking album on repeat so many times before you began to wish for the sweet relief of a pit stop so you could get even a few minutes of silence.

You swallowed the impatient sigh that was forever threatening to fall from your lips as you stole a glance at Dean. His hands were still curled around the wheel as tightly as they had been hours ago. His knuckles so white it almost looked like there was no skin concealing his bones. His jaw was clenched, coated with stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave for the past few days. 

Reverting your eyes back to the seemingly endless dirt road in front of you, you swallowed and lent your head back against the worn leather seat and closed your eyes. You stayed in that position for the next hour, sleep evading you at all costs. 

“Leaves are falling all around, it’s time I was on my way...” Your eyes snapped open at the all too familiar lyrics of Ramble On by Led Zeppelin. The lyrics you knew completely off by heart, not because you liked the song, but because Dean and Sam used to play it practically on repeat on their drives. 

“Thanks to you I'm much obliged, for such a pleasant stay but not it’s time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way...” You glanced over at Dean to see that his eyes had glazed over and his grip was now so tight on the wheel you were worried that he might tear the skin on his knuckles. 

“For now I smell the rain and with it pain, and it's headed my-” You couldn’t help but flinch as Dean hit the off button so hard you were surprised it didn’t break. 

You stole another look at him as he rubbed his stubbled jaw irritably before returning to the same position he was in before - like it never happened.

The two of you spent the rest of the drive in silence and surprisingly, you found yourself actually missing Dean’s music because at least there was something that filled the horrid silence that was so suffocating you felt like you were drowning in it.

Finally a sign welcoming you to Stonestown greeted you and you had to restrain yourself from letting out a breath of sweet relief. Your hand was resting on the door handle, desperate to jump out at your first chance. Sure enough, as soon as the impala came to a stop in the parking lot of a motel you jumped out and the feeling of moving your legs was almost euphoric.

As you stretched your body out you looked over at the impala to see where Dean was. You let out an impatient huff when you saw his retreating figure heading towards the reception, not even bothering to wait for you. Now you had the rest of the night to sit in silence in a dodgy motel room. 

What a joy this was going to be.

Sitting on the small lounge chair, you fiddled with your hair absentmindedly and stared at the stain ridden carpet. Occasionally you would steal a glance at Dean who was seated on the edge of the bed, but the only thing that changed was how much beer was left in the bottle placed on the floor beside him.

It was when you saw that his bottle was empty that you decided this was your chance to finally break the silence between you two. Raising to your feet you crossed the small length of the hotel room to the small bar fridge. You could feel his eyes on you as you bent over and grabbed two beers from the fridge. Opening both, you turned to him and offered him one before taking a swig out of the other.

Without so much as a glance at you, he took the bottle from your extended hand and immediately pressed the rim to his lips and downed the golden liquid.

“How are you feeling?” You whispered to him gently. Your words were so soft you were unsure if he had even heard you. But when you opened your mouth to repeat your question he beat you to it.

“I’m fine.” 

You know the saying - “it was the final straw that broke the camel’s back”? Well for you, those two words had done exactly that. 

With your blood boiling you darted forward and ripped the beer out of Dean’s hand before throwing the two bottles at the wall with such force that the two bottles smashed immediately upon impact causing a loud shattering sound to rattle through the motel room. 

“What the fuck, *yn*?” Dean growled in anger as he rose up from his seat to glare at you. Despite the fact that he was staring at you with such rage, you couldn’t help but feel your body buzz because for the first time in weeks, he was actually looking at you. 

“And I was just beginning to think you’d lost your hearing as well as your ability to fucking speak.” You sneered sarcastically. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Me? What is wrong with me?” You laughed dryly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not the one who just threw a goddamn bottle at the wall.” Dean argued. 

There was a moment of silence as you stared at him in complete disbelief before shaking your head in defeat and turning to go grab your bag that was still placed untouched on one of the beds.

“Where the hell are you going?” He asked you as he watched you grab your bag.

Oh now he cared.

“I’m going to get another room because I think if I have to spend one more second in your presence I’m going to lose my fucking mind.” You spat as you headed towards the door. 

“Are you seriously mad at me because of how I’m acting after everything I’ve been through? What do you expect me to do *yn*, just go on like nothing’s happened?” Dean called out just as your hand had landed on the door handle. 

“Of course I’m not mad at you for that, I’m just so sick of you telling me that your goddamn fine because you clearly aren’t!” You retorted as you turned back to look at him.

“I’m-”

“Don’t even think about defending yourself Dean, you’ve said about two words for weeks. For gods sake you can’t even look at me! All we’ve done is go from town to town hunting anything that moves, you haven’t had time to grieve or even take in what’s happened. You can’t tell me you’re fine Dean, because you aren't, and you don’t have to be, but ever since Sam die-”

“Don’t say his name!” Dean barked loudly, his eyes blazing with so many emotions it was impossible to identify which one was the most predominant.

“Sam is gone Dean, I know it’s hard but-”

“Don’t you dare tell me it’s hard, he was my brother, he was-” Dean cut himself off as he felt his eyes watering. He ran a hand through his hair and cursed under his breath as he paced over to the bed and took a seat on the edge of it as he desperately tried to blink back his tears.

“I know.” You  murmured softly as a wave of sympathy and sorrow washed over you. “I know it’s not the same, but I loved Sam too, he was like a little brother I never had.” You explained as you cautiously took a few steps towards him. 

When you had reached him, you slowly knelt down so you were eye-level with him. And when he didn’t lash out like you had expected, you gently reached up and gripped his wrists. Gently, you slowly coerced his large hands away from his face, revealing his tear soaked features. 

“I’m sorry I yelled, I’ve just been getting so frustrated and worried because I can’t do anything to help you and I can’t stand to see you hurting.” You admitted, your voice wavering slightly as you spoke. 

“You just need to let me in Dean, so I can help you. So we can stop this endless cycle of moving from town to town and hunting anything that moves in the dark. We can break away from this life, we can have a normal life.” 

There were a few painfully silent moments that felt as if they were stretching on for an eternity before a forced, bitter laugh emitted from the back of Dean’s throat. 

“You know, that’s exactly what Sammy said in his god damn letter.” 

“What letter, Dean?” You asked breathlessly as you eyed the broken man before you curiously. 

“The one Sam left behind for me to read. He knew exactly what he was doing a week before we even got close to confronting Lucifer, the bastard.” He sighed as he rubbed his forehead in a sign of pure defeat. 

“He told me exactly what you just said, that I shouldn’t try to look for him, that I should get out of this lifestyle while I still can, that I should finally man up and admit that I’ve been in love with you for over three years and settle down with you.” 

Silence.

“And you know what the worst part is? I want to.” 

The words were like a gale force wind, nearly knocking you off your feet as all the breath left in your lungs caught in your throat. Dean Winchester, the man you had pined after since you first met him all those years ago in a bar, loved you.

“W-why is that the worst part Dean?” You asked him shakily, your voice finally convincing him to look up at you.

“Because I shouldn’t want to stop looking for my brother, I should keep searching until the day I stop breathing. I shouldn’t want this.” 

“But you should Dean, you should want yourself to be happy, just like Sam wanted. Are you honestly telling me that if the roles were reversed you wouldn’t be telling Sam to do the exact same thing he’s told you?” You questioned softly, shooting him a pleading look as you eyed his gaunt features.

“No.”

His glum face made your heart sink and you couldn’t help the defeated sigh that slipped past your usually clamped lips. 

“Because the idea of him with you would probably make me roll over in my grave.” 

There was another pause before the left corner of his mouth twitched up ever so slightly. It was barely a quarter of the strength of his usual smirk, but it was enough to make your heart soar. And why did it?

Because you knew that smile was for you. That effort, no matter how much it hurt him, was all to make you feel better. To show you how sorry he was, that he wasn’t a lost cause, that he would fight - for you.

“There he is.” You whisper as you looked at him, your eyes shining with adoration. 

“There’s who?” He asked as you brought a hand up to cup his unshaven cheek in your hand.

“The Dean I fell in love with all those years ago.” You murmured before shooting him a small smile. There were a few moments of silence as Dean tried to soak in the words that had just fell from your lips. Wordlessly, he brought his hand up to his cheek and covered your hand with his, squeezing tightly, before shooting you a small, apprehensive smile and leaning forward.

Your eyes fluttered closed as you leant forward, meeting him halfway as your lips locked in a kiss that despite being brief, was so passionate you were sure you would have been brought to your knees if you weren’t already on them.

All too soon, you pulled apart from each other, your lips tingling like nothing you’d ever experienced before. You sucked in a deep breath as you tried to still your shaking hands and prevent your heart from literally beating out of your chest. 

“I know it’s hurting like a son of a bitch.” You whispered before sliding your hand from Dean’s cheek to rest your palm over his rapidly beating heart. “But we’ll get through this.”

Dean eyed you for a few moments before he moved his hand and enveloped yours once more before opening his mouth. 

“We always do.” 

Eeek I’m so happy to be writing again!!! Please feel free to send positive feedback on this story here :) 

[elizabethrobertajones]

Kinda fell off the grid with Crippling Arm Pain for a couple of days and watched Asylum, Scarecrow, Faith, Route 666 and the first half of Nightmare in a haze of "ow ow ow ow" and I don't have a whole lot to say about them and their individual moments that relates to season 12 that we haven't already said when anything relevant happened at the time IN season 12 while it was airing...

This whole section of season 1 though, makes a shift in Dean and Sam's dynamic which I think is where they drew most of the angst from for like, the rest of the show, and as usual I'm still obsessed with 12x22 and that very specific message of Sam leading and Dean stepping back and letting him do it. And very specifically where that came from and how as a reversal of season 1 in some ways back to the pilot, Sam gets walked back out of what he gets walked into over these episodes.

Sam perpetually comes back to the sort of "you have to let me grow up" thought like in season 5 & 8 ESPECIALLY off the top of my head before 12, although I think 3 was as well in response to knowing Dean would die, and tbh kicked off the entire arc from 3-5. So yeah, it's been a lot of Sam's lingering feeling about Dean and their dynamic and in 12x22 we see another gesture which I don't think (apart from the endless IMPLICIT trust of just working with Sam every friggin' NORMAL day of the week treating him like an equal when this ISN'T a plot thing) we've had aside from Swan Song, in terms of Big Symbolic Okay You Are An Adult Now Seriously How Are We Still Doing This Plot Oh Right Season 8 Needed Old Angst Warmed Up On All Fronts moments.

(Uh, sorry, I'll pick a fight with Carver about the laziness of season 8 character arcs on my own time because everyone else likes that season and generally it seems the show did well re: audience response to going back to basics and rehashing multiple seemingly resolved character arc things instead of going somewhere new :P Long post 99.9% not about that last thought AT ALL under the cut)

Anyway! In the first part of season 1, Sam is with Dean to find John. And he passes it off as a road trip to anyone who asks, and John is the thing keeping Sam from just meeting up with him and they charge off father & son guns blazing revenge mission - he's disappeared, and then sends them on another hunt when they catch up to where they lost him, also on a hunt he makes them take on his behalf.

For a few episodes Dean can fob Sam off about going to work cases while they look for John but he already kinda knows, then at the end of Phantom Traveller it's confirmed for them that John changed his answer phone to redirect to Dean, and the family business is now his. For Dean that's just like, welp, I'll shoulder THAT burden for my family too, no problem, already got a whole crushing weight there anyway hahaha. 

For Sam that makes it a lot more complicated, that John doesn't WANT to be found and he's now effectively trapped with Dean working the job while trying to convince him John is more important, and Dean is convinced John’s orders are more important.

Bloody Mary doesn't have any real resistance to doing the case, and Sam's preoccupied with visions & Jess's death still, so I think his head is still spinning about what he's actually doing and the case doesn't help settle him AT ALL. In Skin, he's the one who makes them backtrack for a personal thing which turns into a case, and he learns the crappy lesson that he can't have normal friends and essentially sees that Dean feels like a friendless freak even if he pretends this is all cool and part of the job, but rather more focus on Sam as the rebellious child being dragged back into the awful family and his own sense of sacrificing normality for the job & revenge from his perspective (looking ahead to how this bubbles over). Hook Man, he offers token protests to doing the case while we start with him obsessing over finding John, and in Bugs it starts with Sam checking for cases in the newspaper while Dean hustles - we know from Bloody Mary Sam has Dean's money and he really is freeloading as a road trip not just in what he keeps telling everyone, but that Dean is allowing him to stay at a careful remove from feeling like he's actually just doing the job again.

Bugs also has all the good family stuff where we finally have Sam and Dean rehash the trauma of Sam leaving, as of course this is all open wounds to them because Sam left and they don't see each other again until the Pilot, so this is a needed and much-delayed conversation directly addressing for the first time not just on screen but ever, between them about Sam going to college and how HE felt in the family, like the outcast who wanted to be normal, and he gloms onto Matt who is having similar issues with his dad that baffles Dean about why Sam relates to it so much. 

They're still going over early childhood > Sam leaving stuff in their dynamic and Sam really IS the kid brother on a road trip, and he is treated that way by the narrative in a lot of ways like this (also as in Sam sees this as a distraction and John and revenge is the real story/job/mission so hanging with Dean is as useful as road tripping :P I don’t think it’s just a cute excuse he uses over and over), probably up to Home, where it all starts getting more personal and real. 

Sam gets to see Mary with his own eyes for the first time, and they have a bit more of a sense of being in it together and Sam being inducted into the family mythos, revisiting stuff that was very very abstract to him, and for a multitude of intents - writerly from the show and from Chuck and his "narrative symmetry" and the motives from the demons who conspired to kill Jess, that needed to happen to Sam to make it more real to him (in the same way Dean felt all along about Mary dying because that pain didn't go away just because it had been a long time. The point is NOT what Sam says that Dean doesn’t know how it feels - it’s that SAM didn’t but it’s fresh and awful and despite growing up surrounded by grief, fancy learning coping mechanisms from John? Hence, follows in his footsteps, revenge-obsessed).

Anyway! Asylum changes their dynamic now - Sam is beginning to be openly frustrated even before John sends them a case that Dean's dragging him around on the job when they should be getting revenge, and I think he's now still sort of road tripping until the end of the season because of his speech in Shadow about being a person again, and the flip only being demonstrated in 2x02 that he now is the one more dedicated to hunting and doing the job. 

And during Asylum Sam vents to the psychiatrist under the guise of complaining about his road trip, presumably similar stuff but less murdery to what he yells at the end, and there's a whole thing with him being annoyed the kids think Dean is his boss. The fight continues in Scarecrow with Dean standing up for being a good soldier - I mean son - and Sam stomps off to find John. 2 episodes in a row he uses the road tripping excuse to vent about being stuck in close quarters with Dean bossing him around when he meets Meg and vents to her as well, but he has his realisation about family when Dean is in trouble and goes back.

After that he's immediately smacked with Faith, which is the first challenge one of them has of the other dying, and to which Sam has to save Dean at any close. His characterisation in this whole first chunk reminds me of season 10 Sam a great deal as I’ve recently rewatched it too (he has a "where's my brother!?" line in Skin which has like, the exact same delivery as 10x01's opening, among other little things which stood out to me) but this one episode in particular... Because he does save Dean, at a great cost, even having some very ominous-for-season 10 discussion about the evil black magic spell book and the desperation of Sue-Ann to bring Roy back, all of which made me laugh bitterly when I came through here on my post-season 10 rewatch, because it was pretty much word-for-word Sam's season 10 all in one episode, right down to the freakin pothole in Nebraska.

I think it's interesting Sam is the first one to make an ethically dubious/bad choice to save Dean (dubious since he didn't know it was bad, bad because he doubled down on it after - also looks much worse with at least 10 more years of canon rather than in the immediate moment it's just a bit edgy :P) while in season 2 Dean saves Sam selflessly and after a whole season of feeling brought back against the natural order (something I think is only exacerbating how he already felt since Faith and finding out what Sam did for him). 

I think this is a way to tie Sam deeply into the family and make him prove he'd go so far for Dean after all his rebellion and anger at Dean, with Dean represented as the boss and the good son/older brother, that Sam isn't actually going to really stomp off any time soon. He takes several strong lessons in a row about family and reconciliation, starting with the mirror family in Bugs and like, every episode after that except in Asylum because it abuts Scarecrow and is an ongoing emotional arc one starts and the other resolves, again proving to Sam he was wrong and being with Dean and doing the job is more important than revenge. (For now - he still has this choice all season and makes a false analysis for easy conclusion to the story by the writers that Dean's all he has left and he doesn't know where John is, even though they only just talked to John for the first time to get solid proof he's alive, AND Sam thought he knew where he was for the first time as well and only didn't go there because of going back to help Dean).

That all shifts Sam's dynamic from a fairly equal partnership, where Sam was kind of along for the ride, but without being strictly tied into the family business because he was road tripping, he was basically like... a support hunter Dean took with him to not work alone, just, you know, the best hunter Dean knew for the job :P And that changes after the midseason to really make Sam ductaped firmly back into the family business. But once he's there, Dean goes from equal partner to older brother who is ALSO his boss in Sam's eyes (even though Dean's really just desperately following John's orders, and is the one fighting in general for the family business to continue, in an a-political way about Sam's role in it, just that Sam sees him deciding things and feels like it is Dean ordering him around... They have issues about it, basically :P), and once Sam reconciles with THAT he does ethically sketchy stuff to save Dean and doesn't regret it, which is more of a blood pact thing to reaffirm commitment and loyalty.

In Route 666 Dean calls the shots, and Sam plays a trust game with the church thing so they both get in a power play of sorts and Sam teases Dean the entire time about Cassie...

(But this is all Buckleming characterisation, which I tend to find completely backwards, and thanks to watching with my mum, I went from 1x13 to 10x03, and remembered I still want to write a tooth-grinding post about their characterisation because something about it really sets my teeth on edge specifically about Sam and it just occurred to me watching 10x03 that that was how they wrote him in 1x13 and it was vaguely justified there because specific scenario but like... is that just their impression of who Sam is? Anyway in 10x03 there's lines he could have said seriously or whatever but there's like, a Buckleming Face Sam has/Jared uses and it makes me massively intrigued to know wtf tone suggestions they put in their scripts because almost without fail Sam only acts like this in their episodes and the grimace Jared uses delivering their Sam dialogue, even relatively inoffensive lines, is like at least a full 30% of why their episodes make my teeth grind because wtf he never does it in any other episodes with any other writers, it's like he has a separate personality to play Buckleming!Sam?? This is all massively beside the point except to say on realising that I decided that I just cba to analyse that one for personal arc stuff :P)

And in Nightmare, Sam's back to a sort of subordinate role in the power dynamic because he has to prove to Dean his visions are real (I think Dean totally believes him he just really really badly doesn't WANT them to be real but it means Sam spends the first 10 minutes needlessly arguing his case wanting to be believed) and then at the end Dean coddles him with a protective you've got me you'll be fine speech, which again puts himself in the role of protector to Sam.

I feel like from here on out their dynamic is hashed out a bit more firmly with all these specific things having happened in relation to all the main arcs - Sam's powers, the family business, John, Sam n Dean, saving each other from death, the whole lot, which as I said up the top, OBVIOUSLY day-to-day they still act very equally and usually, unless plot reasons, have 100% equal trust on cases and work side by side very well. But long-term, I can see a LOT of character stuff settling on Sam that becomes his pattern of thinking (e.g. the stuff in Asylum & Scarecrow especially betraying how he feels as the younger brother being bossed around) that in the first handful of episodes at least up to Home wasn't an issue or a part of their dynamic and they were going for a brothers on a roadtrip vibe without a lot of these Dire Obligations or Life And Death Pacts and so on.

I think Sam hasn't really been able to get out of this because season 5 was supposed to resolve it, but season 6 and 7 have something constantly wrong with him until Cas fixes him for good, so Dean spends a great deal of Gamble era having to deal with each new thing that happens to Sam, frequently acting with power of attorney to fix him and get his soul back etc for his own good. Sam has a blissful free space in his life from 7x17-7x23 and got to work equally and fairly and without any massive interpersonal drama or whatever with Dean (though for most of season 7 after they reconcile say from 7x09 onwards they have one of their best dynamics with the least interpersonal drama once they let go the Amy fight), and then Carver takes over and gives Sam 1 more year or so of recovery off-screen only to smash it all up with a sledgehammer and regress him all the way back to how bad he was in 8x23... Which we’ve been recovering from for all the characters ever since.

Anywho I said I wasn't going to get all obsessed about that, but the point is that watching season 1 and knowing where Sam is going to be coming from in season 12 about his own personal growth and how HE views it, I can see some interesting stuff because a lot of season 1 is Sam VOICING how he feels about their dynamic, job and lives, because it's the exposition season to get us involved in their lives and there's a lot of telling and explaining hot they feel about this that and the other. Knowing how Sam says he didn't want to lead and so on, his original issues with leadership was that he felt he had a mind of his own and Dean didn't and he didn't WANT to be bossed around by Dean, and to do his own thing. And season 1 subsumes him into the family business, and it leaves me thinking about the ever-relevant 10x05, and how the line about John in "The Road So Far" was that he took away their free will.

I sort of feel like watching season 1, you can see Sam giving ground over and over again in these fights. I know there's more to come, but the important flip next is in 1x16 where it stops being Sam swinging against Dean's position in the family, and goes back to Sam vs John, where it stays for the rest of the season and of course ending in 2x01 with John leaving them on a fight and 2x02 Sam having given himself over to the job and not really getting a break from then on to even dream of something normal until he hit a dog... 

So that's all totally different territory in season 1 because there wasn’t much/any Sam vs John stuff in season 12 that I can think of (idk if sharp-eyed Sam fans caught a narrative about it I didn’t see making its way onto my dash), so I think I've watched the parts now which exposition most clearly how Sam ends up essentially following Dean into the family business and in the main arc stuff seeing himself as still being the kid brother being bossed around and made to do it somewhat against his will to have a normal life even if as I say, in general unless this point is being made, Dean rarely if ever acts like this towards Sam and Sam seems to have all the freedom he likes to call the shots in their dynamic because Dean will totally trust him with all the normal parts of their job without being precious about taking his lil brother into fights...

Obviously there’s a hell of a lot more intervening trauma and I think Carver era does a LOT to Sam to beat him down from a relatively balanced, happy-with-himself-and-the-universe place so to actually trace WHY Sam felt like he did in 12x22 you’d start at 8x01 and begin counting THERE, but looking at season 12 through a season 1 lens is really interesting to me.

[pedroscurls]

Title: My Not-So Little Girl

Character(s): Negan and Casey (daughter) Prompt: Driving Lesson Summary: Negan gives his daughter, Casey, advice on how to drive and it gets out of hand. Word Count: 3,612 Warning: This is also a bit AU -- especially since Negan doesn’t have any children. Author’s Note: Thank you to @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash​​ for doing this writing challenge! It was very much out of my comfort zone (especially with the prompt I chose lol), but I enjoyed writing it nonetheless! Besides, I love a domestic Negan. I also got a bit distracted with this prompt and wrote more than I planned and also took a different route than I expected. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy! :)

@negans-network

(GIF Source: @kendaspntwd)

PRE-APOCALYPSE

“Dad, I finished the hours I needed with my driving instructor. Can you please bring me out for a drive? I can show you how ready I am for the test!” Casey begged, sitting at the table with her father. He was looking over a few sheets of paper before he removed his glasses, setting it down onto the stack.

“I’m not saying that you aren’t ready, Casey, but I’m busy right now, okay?”

“That’s what you fucking said last time,” she mumbled.

“Hey! Watch your mouth. We talked about this shit already.”

“Says the one who curses every chance he gets. Fine, dad. Whatever,” Casey said, standing from her seat. She ascended the stairs, walking down the hall into her room and slamming the door shut behind her.

Lucille giggled from the kitchen, stirring the sauce she was making for their weekly dinner of spaghetti.

Negan narrowed his eyes, standing from the table to walk over to her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed along her neck.

“What’s so fucking funny?” He mumbled, his hands tightly wrapped around her frame.

“You’re getting angry at our daughter for using that type of language, yet here you are… Doing the same exact thing.”

“I can’t fucking help it. It’s in my genetic code. I came out of the womb crying out a string of curse words,” Negan joked.

Lucille laughed, turning around to face him. Her hand rested on his stubbly cheek, brushing against his cheekbone lightly. Negan smiled to himself, staring into her eyes.

“You’re funny and I wouldn’t be surprised if that is actually true.”

“Ha ha.”

“Listen, why don’t you take her out? She’ll just pout and glare at you all throughout dinner, Negan. Let her drive around the neighborhood, maybe to the main streets. In fact, let her drive you to the grocery store. We need more milk,” Lucille said.

Negan narrowed his eyes.

“I don’t want to though…”

“And why not, Negan? You know you’re the only one whose opinion matters to her. Casey looks up to you,” she dropped her hand to his chest, running her thumb along the fabric of his white t-shirt.

“Fine. Fucking fine,” he huffed, pulling away. “I expect dinner to be ready when we come back.”

“Don’t go bossing me around. Go and apologize to our daughter and take her out for a drive,” she quipped.

Negan smirked, “I always loved to see the fucking fire in your eyes.”

He ascended the stairs and with the help of his long legs, he was at the second floor with just a few steps. He walked to Casey’s door and sighed, quietly knocking on the door.

“Casey, honey? Let’s go for that drive. Show me what the fuck you got,” he smiled.

“Go away,” she mumbled.

“Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. I’m opening the door, okay? So, don’t go throwing fucking shit at me or I will be forced to retaliate with tickles and kisses and I know how much you teenage girls hate being babied,” he teased.

Slowly, Negan opened the door and noticed her lying on her bed with her back facing him. He sighed and walked to the sit at the edge of her bed, running his hand along her back soothingly.

“Are you going to talk to me?” Negan asked.

“No. Go away.”

“Kiddo, come on. I’m sorry, okay? Let’s go. We’ve also got to get some milk, so I was thinking you can fucking show off your driving skills and bring us to the grocery store.”

Casey turned to face him, biting her lower lip. She looked like an exact replica of Negan.

Her hair was dark, and so were her eyes. Casey also had dimples like her father and he already had to shoo away some potential boy threats that had come by to ask for Casey.

Deep down, the reason why he didn’t want to take her was because he knew she was growing up and he wasn’t ready to admit it to himself. When he looked at her, he saw his little girl who was running around the house causing a ruckus.

Now, she was a teenager who was about to get her license. It was surreal. Did sixteen years really pass by that quickly?

“Are you being serious?” She asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Yes, I’m being fucking serious. Now, if you don’t hurry up and meet me downstairs in five minutes, I’m going to leave without you.”

Before Negan could leave, Casey wrapped her arms around him tightly and kissed his cheek with a big grin that displayed her dimples.

“Thank you, daddy! I won’t disappoint you, I promise.”

Negan’s eyes softened and he looked down at her, kissing her forehead.

“Oh, sweetheart, you can never disappoint me. Now, hurry up.”

Casey grinned, laughing quietly and walking to her closet to grab a sweater and her sneakers. Negan left her room, pulling his leather jacket on before he smelled the aroma of Lucille’s cooking waft throughout their home.

He walked to the kitchen and smiled to himself. “It smells fucking delicious in here.”

“Did you manage to apologize?” She asked.

“As a matter of fact, I did. We’re heading to the store in five minutes.”

Lucille smiled, walking over to him to peck his lips.

“Get some ice cream too,” she said.

“You got it, doll. We’ll be back soon.” Negan smiled, seeing his daughter walk into the kitchen to grab a piece of garlic bread that her mother had made.

“Ah ah! Not before dinner, Casey,” Lucille said.

Casey widened her eyes, swallowing the small piece of bread. “Sorry! It looked really good, mom.”

“Let’s go get the milk before your mother throws a fucking fit,” Negan teased, kissing Lucille’s cheek.

Casey giggled, hugging her mother and walking out of the house to the car that was parked in the driveway. Negan followed, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He tossed the keys at Casey and watched her catch it without a problem.

Negan climbed into the passenger seat and watched his little girl climb into the driver’s side. He noticed her adjusting her seat before she finally felt comfortable. She started the car and smiled to herself, buckling her seatbelt. She glanced over at Negan and arched a brow.

“What?” He asked.

“Your seatbelt, dad.”

“Oh, right. I forgot. See, you’re already doing fucking great, pumpkin.”

Casey smiled. She waited until Negan was securely fastened to the seat before she put the car in reverse and checked over her shoulders and both side mirrors to make sure she was clear. Slowly, she released the brake and backed away from the driveway and onto the main road.

Negan watched her carefully, making sure she was checking her mirrors and abiding by the speed limit.

They made it to the grocery store in ten minutes. Her parking needed some work, but she was “still in the lines” like she said.

“So, pick out two tubs of ice cream and then meet me at the aisle with the milk.” Negan said, kissing the back of her head and walking down the aisle to where the milk was placed.

Casey bit her lower lip, looking through the different flavors before she heard someone call her name. It was a friend from school.

“Hey, Casey,” he smiled.

“Oh, hey, Derek,” she smiled shyly.

“You need help with figuring out some flavors?”

“Yes. I’m always in such a stump when my dad tells me to pick two. I mean, how can you just pick two?” Casey giggled. She even had Negan’s charm.

“Right? You either go big or go home,” Derek teased.

“You still haven’t helped me decide on two flavors,” Casey said with a sweet smile.

“Sorry. I’m distracted. You’ve got a really pretty smile,” he blushed.

“Well, you’ve got pretty eyes.”

Negan turned around and began walking to the frozen section, seeing his daughter talking to some boy. He felt anger fuel bubbling within him before he called her name, “Casey!”

She flinched, glancing over her shoulder to see the look of anger in his eyes.

“That’s my dad. You better get going, Derek. I’ll see you tomorrow at school…”

Derek cleared his throat, nodding before he began walking away from Casey.

Negan looked down at her, watching the boy practically run away. He opened the fridge and grabbed the usual flavors that they always bought before leading her to the front to pay for their items.

“That wasn’t fair, dad…” Casey said, crossing her arms over her shoulder.

“I don’t fucking care if it wasn’t. You’re my little girl,” he said, sliding his card through the machine. He nodded his thanks to the cashier before grabbing their bags and leading Casey out of the store.

“I’m not a little girl anymore, dad! I’m sixteen now!”

“Casey, let’s not fucking talk about this right now, okay?”

She sighed, climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the car. Casey waited for him to load the groceries into the car before he, too, climbed in and buckled his seatbelt.

Casey made sure she was clear before backing out of the parking spot.

Throughout the ride back home, Casey felt the tension between herself and her father. They had the same temper and that almost always meant it was a bad thing.

“You’re going over the speed limit. Slow the fuck down,” Negan said, glancing over at her.

“I’m going forty-five in a fifty mile per hour area, dad!”

“I don’t care! You’re going too fast.”

Casey sighed, slowing down to his liking. She dropped her hand to her lap, keeping one hand on the steering wheel.

“Both hands on the fucking wheel, Casey.”

“Dad…”

“You wanted a few pointers, right? Well, I’m fucking giving you advice.”

Casey sighed, deciding to bite her tongue. She didn’t want to anger him right now. When at home, she would make sure to piss him off.

“Always look over your shoulders,” he said.

“I am!”

Negan shook his head, watching the light turn yellow and Casey came to an abrupt halt which caused him to jerk forward.

“You need to fucking brake more smoothly than that. If you drive the way you’re driving now, you’re never going to get your damn license.”

Casey glanced over at him, tears brimming her eyes. She remained quiet throughout the remainder of the ride back home. Parking in the driveway, she climbed out and slammed the door shut.

“Hey, don’t go slamming doors because I’m telling you the fucking truth.”

“You aren’t! You’re just angry! You’re just pissed off because some guy was talking to me!”

Negan followed her inside their home, slamming the door shut and placing the milk and ice cream into the fridge. He watched Casey walk away before he called her name.

“Casey Mae, you get back down here right fucking now!”

“I hate you!” She yelled, slamming her door shut loudly and blasting the music loudly through her tiny room. Casey locked the door and climbed into her bed, crying into her pillow.

Lucille sighed, looking at Negan. She gently removed his leather jacket and ran a hand up his chest.

“What happened?”

“I caught her talking to a boy at the grocery store and I lost my shit. I said something I didn’t mean…” Negan admitted.

“What did you say?”

“I said if she drove like the way she was doing then she would never get her license…”

“Negan…” Lucille sighed.

“I know. I fucking know, okay? She’s a good driver, Lucille. But fuck, does she have to grow up?”

“Is that what this is about? Was that why you’ve been avoiding this?” She asked.

He nodded slowly.

“You’re a good father, you know? Don’t forget that, but Negan… You’ve got to let our little girl grow up.”

“I’m not fucking ready to let her grow up, Lucille…”

“Well believe it or not, Negan, it’s going to happen either way. So, please… Just talk to her before dinner. I don’t want her glaring at you while we’re eating.”

“She won’t want to talk to me,” he said.

“You can convince her. Deep down, she’s a daddy’s girl. She’s got a soft spot for you.”

“Okay, fine. And when we’re done eating, leave the dishes. You go fucking relax and I’ll take care of it,” Negan said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

Negan knocked on her door, turning the handle to find it locked. He sighed and knocked once more.

“Casey, princess, open the door, please.”

“Go away!” She yelled.

“I will open this fucking door regardless. I’m letting you be the mature one here and open it for me,” he replied.

Casey sighed heavily, standing from her bed to unlock the door. She opened it and walked back to her bed.

“Case…”

“What? You’re sorry? Yeah. Let me guess. Mom convinced you that you were in the wrong and now you’re here to fix it.”

“Damn it, Casey. You’re my little girl. I don’t fucking want you growing up!” He yelled, causing her to flinch from the abrupt loudness.

“Dad…”

“And I’m sorry. I crossed a fucking line. You’re a great driver, Casey. I just – You’re my little munchkin. In two years, you’ll be leaving your mother and I to go to fucking college then you’ll come back for Christmas with a boyfriend and then before you know it, you’re going to fucking tell me you’re going to get married and you’re pregnant and –”

“Whoa, dad. Hold on…” Casey said, resting her head on his shoulder. “I love you, you know that, right? Besides, I don’t think I can leave you and mom. There are plenty of good colleges here. As for getting married and pregnant, well, that I can’t say for sure,” she teased.

Negan narrowed her eyes. Casey giggled.

“I’m kidding, dad. You’re jumping the gun just a bit. We still have to get through my driver’s test.”

“I just – Seeing that boy talk to you and to see his eyes look you over like you were some sort of fucking piece of meat… I got mad and I’m sorry,” he said, kissing the crown of her head.

Casey nodded, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

“I didn’t mean what I said… I don’t hate you, dad. I love you.”

“I know you do, sweetheart. Now, let’s go and get some fucking food.”

POST-APOCALYPSE

It had been a year and a half since the outbreak. Negan was running the Sanctuary smoothly; he created a system that worked and it gave him hope that he could restore the world after it ended.

He had lost Lucille due to her battle of cancer, but Negan was glad to still have his little girl with him. He had to spend every night with her because of the nightmares that plagued the both of their minds.

Negan couldn’t imagine growing up in a world like this. Casey hadn’t even hit eighteen yet and all her plans for going to college and getting a good job was thrown out the window and she was stripped of countless opportunities.

Now, her main priority was to stay alive and to make sure her father was safe too.

While out on a run, Negan had gotten shot by a stranger that tried to take their findings. Casey quickly “shut that shit down” (as he said it) and used Lucille to bash the man’s brain in.

He always had to have a long talk with her whenever she had to kill someone. She was a strong young girl. She didn’t even bat an eye at the killing. It was as if Casey grown accustomed to this new world.

“Dad… Dad, are you okay?!” She asked, bringing him to the truck.

Negan climbed in the passenger seat and watched her climb into the driver’s side. She placed Lucille on the dashboard and started the truck, buckling her seatbelt.

It seemed too familiar. It reminded him of the day where Lucille asked for milk and ice cream and Casey wanted to show off her driving skills. It brought tears to his eyes at the thought of his wife and the old world.

He missed it so much.

He missed her so much, despite what he put her through.

“I’m okay, buttercup. I got shot in the shoulder. I’ll be okay,” Negan said.

“Okay, well then, um, can you put your seatbelt on? I can’t go anywhere unless I know you’re buckled in.”

“We’re in the fucking apocalypse, killing the dead, and you’re worried about me not wearing my seatbelt?”

Casey narrowed her eyes, “Do you want to be in pain or do you want me to bring us back to the Sanctuary so Dr. Carson can patch you up, dad?”

“You are so fucking like me that it’s a bit scary,” he chuckled. Negan put his seatbelt on with a grunt and felt the truck begin to move.

Casey smiled to herself. It reminded her of the day when Negan finally agreed to take a drive with her.

“Why the fuck are you smiling?” Negan asked.

“Just remembering when you first experienced my driving, dad.”

“Well, no rules apply here, so press on that fucking gas and bring us home, kiddo.”

Casey smiled, reaching over to rest a hand on his own.

“Love you, dad.”

“I love you too, pumpkin.”

Later that night, Negan looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. Being the leader of a big community had its perks, but it also had its downfalls. Though, he tried not to think of the bad things about being in charge.

Negan adjusted the sling on his opposite shoulder, walking out of his room and down the hall to Casey’s. When he opened the door, he noticed her staring up at the ceiling.

“Dad?” She called out.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered.

“You didn’t wake me up. Did Dr. Carson take care of your gunshot?”

Negan nodded, lifting the sling slightly to reveal to her that he was all patched up.

“Can you lie with me until I fall asleep, dad?”

“Of course, honey. Scooch your pooch and give your dad some room.”

Casey laughed quietly, scooting over to give him some room. He removed his sling and set it aside before Casey rested her head against his good shoulder.

Negan’s arm wrapped around her tightly, shutting his eyes.

Moments like this – where he was holding her until she fell asleep – reminded him of when she was little. Casey would curl up on his lap and Negan’s strong arms would remind her that she was safe from all the bad dreams. Being in her father’s arms made her feel safe.

“Dad?” She whispered.

“Hm?”

“Do you still think about the old world?”

Negan sighed, “I do, yes. I think about our old home, the hammock in our backyard. I think about my ping-pong table. I think about the lost photo albums we had. I think about a lot of things, honey.”

“You know, I’m still sorry for what I said that day, dad. I couldn’t believe I said I hated you…” Casey replied, burying her face against him.

“I know you’re sorry, Casey. Sometimes we say things when we’re fucking angry. It happens. You get that shit from me.”

“And many other things apparently,” she added.

Negan chuckled. His mind drifted to Lucille and he sighed, tears leaking at the corner of his eyes.

“I also think about your mother…”

“Mom told me, you know… How you cheated on her and she was angry that you chose her when she was sick, when she was d – dying… I wanted to hate you, but I couldn’t. You always had a reason for doing things…” Casey admitted.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I wish I never did the shit that I did to your mother, to you. If I hadn’t let my temptation –”

“Dad, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that mom died…” She whispered, her voice cracking.

Negan looked down at her, wiping his eyes absently before he leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“I see more of her in you than I ever did before, Casey. I wish she could see how much you’ve grown into a mature, beautiful young lady. And here I was, fucking afraid to see you grow up,” he smiled sadly.

“I wish she was here to see what you’ve created, dad. She would have been so proud of the both of us.”

Negan caught a fallen tear and wiped it away, kissing his daughter’s cheek.

“Enough of this crying, let’s get some sleep,” he said, sniffling quietly.

“Wait, before I forget… Can you teach me how to shoot a gun tomorrow, dad?”

“If it ends the way it did when I took you out for driving, then no.”

“Hey… That was your fault. You got angry for no reason,” Casey quipped.

“Okay, fuck. You make a good fucking point. I’ll teach you how to shoot a gun tomorrow.”

Casey grinned and kissed his cheek. Afterwards, she settled back against his side and shut her eyes.

Negan caught sight of his wedding ring and Lucille’s in a chain around her neck. He smiled, kissing the crown of her head.

“I love you, Casey…”

“I love you too, daddy. Thanks for still being here,” she whispered, her voice beginning to fade.

“I’m so proud of you… My not-so little girl,” he smiled.

Casey giggled sleepily, her cheek resting against his chest.

“Good night, dad.”

“Good night, honey.”

[maritzaerwin]

16 SEO Experts Share Their Best Career Advice for Someone Starting Out in SEO

SEO is a very lucrative industry. But there is no clear path to success in this field. Since most of the SEOs are self-taught, you have to chart your own career path. 

Here are 16 SEOs sharing their best piece of advice on how to succeed in SEO.

Jeff Gapinski — Huemor

Being knowledgeable about SEO is an amazing skill to have. It opens up both opportunities to advance within a corporate career path and allows you to get many types of businesses off the ground if you choose an entrepreneurial route.

I’d encourage anyone first starting out with SEO to focus on understanding the fundamentals. Moz and Hubspot have great free and paid courses you can take to understand how the process works from end to end. It’s important to understand all of the moving parts and how they work together, but it’s going to be impossible for you to become a master at all of it.

Like many other careers, there’s a ton of nuance to SEO.

Based on your exposure to the various aspects of SEO, focus on a specific topic.

On-Site SEO, Content Creation, and Link Building tend to be the three big categories you can go after. Pick one of them and learn as much as you can about it.

Carlos Obregon — Bloom Digital Marketing

Always keep studying, budget at least one hour per day to read the official Google blogs as well as industry-specific blogs that you find interesting. Also do not be afraid to ask questions, SEO is not an exact science, do not hesitate to ask for help or for validation if you are not sure of what to do next. Get as many certifications as you can, this industry is largely unregulated, anyone can call themselves “SEO experts” the only true measure of your worth as an SEO consultant is your certifications and your track record.

Don’t offer guarantees, instead point to case studies of projects you have worked on with specific outcomes.

Don’t try to be a do it all, some SEO consultants are very strong in technical SEO, others are great at content development, as SEO becomes more specialized it is better to be known as the rock star SEO in “X” area than an all-around mediocre SEO consultant.

Skyler Reeves — Ardent Growth

There are 3 things I would focus on:

First, learn to read code (and maybe write a little too). I’m a little biased here due to my background, but by learning to understand code you’ll be able to solve problems many SEOs cannot.

It’s like learning math — some people use rough estimates to solve problems, others get precise answers using calculus.

Learning more about code will also help you communicate with developers and other folks responsible for implementation — being able to speak their language and show you understand them will go a long way toward getting the work done.

Secondly, get proficient with spreadsheets. They’ll be a big part of your day-to-day work. Being able to work comfortably with data in a Google Sheet will dramatically reduce the time you spend on tasks. Helpful functions to learn include things like, VLOOKUP, ARRAYFORMULA, and QUERY.

Lastly, focus on documenting the work you do. Doing so will allow you to better reverse engineer what’s working and what isn’t.

You’ll often find that some things that work for one page won’t always work for another. There are many nuances between what the algorithm favors between search queries.

Being able to identify these by referring back to your documentation will save you a lot of time and show you’re a professional and not a snake oil salesman.

Chris Castillo — Propel Digital Media Solutions

Get through the basics by using resources like Moz Blog, Search Engine Journal, Ahrefs Blog (and their Academy). Follow guys like Ryan Stewart on YouTube who are sharing legitimate, proven, white-hat strategies. Once you’ve learned enough to start applying a lot of technical factors, create yourself a small website and start applying those strategies to that site. Don’t get distracted with shiny objects (fringe tactics and hacks) – focus on the core strategies and get really good at those things. The core strategies are what every SEO executes on regardless of what crazy strategy they might be hung up on at the time.

Once you’re ready to take on client work, try to get someone who is experienced at managing an SEO campaign to work with you. Focus on client management and managing the aspects of the campaign you’re comfortable with and have the other person work the aspects you’re not as comfortable with.

Not only can you fast-track your learning and improve your overall processes when you work with someone who already has some experience, but you also improve the results you can produce. Focusing on generating results will help to build case studies which will make growing your client-base easier. Don’t focus on vanity metrics like organic traffic, but rather on conversions.

In terms of tools, try to do the best you can with the free tools available – especially when you’re just starting out. Industry-leading tools like Ahrefs can give you a significant advantage, but are very costly. I would recommend starting with a SEMrush subscription when you can afford to invest a little bit on more data and tools. Also, Screaming Frog is an incredibly versatile tool for On-Page SEO.

Jeremy Moser — uSERP

“Pick a lane. Search engine optimization isn’t a single thing. In fact, it’s literally the opposite. SEO is everything from content strategy, to link building to on-page to technical and dozens more. If you are just starting out as a career in SEO, pick one thing and spend hours each day learning about it. Watch videos on YouTube, listen to podcasts, and read articles top to bottom from big names in the space. Having overall general knowledge of all facets of SEO is great. But the real money comes in when you specialize in one sector and you do it better than your competitors.”

Austin Cline — Sitemap

SEO can be challenging to learn in the beginning. There are many moving parts and it all changes quickly. And if you’re not careful, it can become overwhelming. As a self-taught SEO, one piece of advice I would give anyone starting out is to develop a strong SEO process at the beginning of your career.

Not sure how to develop a process? As you take on more work, you’ll find every project has certain steps that are repeated each time. For instance, you might always need to get Google Analytics and website access at the start of every project. Your next step might be to perform a crawl of the website, and after that do keyword research on their current pages. Or maybe your content strategy always follows your technical work. However, it works documents each step to create a “process” that you can follow for each project.

Your process will of course evolve. You’ll make mistakes and learn from them. But over time, it will become stronger and help you minimize mistakes so you can get better results for your clients.

Matthew Dobinson — Expert Cog

Focus on the user, Google has been saying it for years. Sure you can find loopholes and shortcuts but they only last so long, google will eventually close them and it will be the person who can give the best user experience. Give yourself a head start and start focusing on it now.

Jamie Irwin — Irwin Organic

If you’re just getting into SEO and see it as a long term journey for career development then invest in yourself, and your learning, by acquiring a website.

Hands down, there is no better way to apply the new SEO principles you have just learned.

It’s a bonus if you can monetize the content on your website. Then your career development project starts to produce an ROI and your investment in yourself begins to pay off.

When I first got into SEO I was obsessed with finding courses, qualifications, and paying for accreditations. But my portfolio of sites has become my accreditation.

Kevin Dam — Aemorph

Read and watch videos online of how the search landscape has changed over the past 20+ years. Once you get an appreciation of the way the search engines work and how they’ve evolved you should learn what factors are commonly influenced to improve rankings and piece them altogether since everything is interconnected. 

Then get into the trenches of implementation and master each aspect of SEO at a time and find out what works, what doesn’t work, and what part of the whole SEO process is most enjoyable for you then focus on it 100%!

Amanda Thomas — Konstruct

Choosing to pursue a career in SEO is an exciting yet daunting choice. When first starting out the basic concepts can seem simple, but it’s definitely one of those fields where you begin to realize “the more you learn, the less you know’.

Here’s my advice:

Always be Curious: SEO is a field that’s full of a lot of conjecture and noise. You can’t always take articles or “studies” at face value, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t value within them. Try to understand the “why” behind everything.

Commit to Continuous Learning: SEO skills can get out of date quickly. You must set aside time every week for your learning development.

Start an Affiliate Site: there’s no better way to learn or try new theories in a real environment. If you’re working for a company or agency, it’s likely too risky to try these types of practices for your business or clients. Use an affiliate site as your own personal sandbox.

Find a Community: Consider joining a community where other people working in SEO knowledge share. I personally like Traffic Think Tank.

SEO can be a highly rewarding career if you put in the effort.

David Bell — Diving Bell Creative

With SEO being so results-oriented, I recommend getting some experience with a bigger domain that has a lot of content and isn’t optimized.  That sounds like an oxymoron but they exist.  Those opportunities are with non-profits.  They often have a ton of authority but have never been properly optimized.  That’s usually because the people putting together the content are on a volunteer basis and don’t know how to optimize for SEO.  

The downside is that no one wants to work for free and it’s not a luxury a lot of people have – free time.  Here’s the way to structure it – if you can.  Find a non-profit organization that is a cause you or your business supports. 

Reach out to them and offer to do some SEO work for free.  You’ll almost never be turned away, you’ll get valuable experience and you’re being altruistic.  With that, future prospects or employers will not only think you’ve got the chops – but that you’re also a good person.

Shaurya Jain — Attention Always

SEO is one of the fastest-changing industries because SEOs essentially are trying to game google and Google’s algorithm is the smartest in the world. So to keep up, you need to be continuously staying up to date. And this involves constantly learning new stuff not just from industry publications but also from courses. Never be afraid to invest in your knowledge because it will pay you back several times over.

SEO is all about testing and you can’t do all the testing yourself. so it’s better to pay someone else and learn about their SEO test results.

Andrews Ansley — Syndiket Marketing

SEO takes a lot of patience, open-mindedness, and dedication. SEO isn’t incredibly complicated, but it does require consistency and organization. If you’re trying to grow as quickly as possible I recommend joining a paid SEO group to ask questions. I also recommend joining a few Facebook groups or forums just to keep your ear to the ground for SEO knowledge nuggets.

 Lastly, I’d encourage you to rank your own website for an easy keyword using the knowledge you pick up from blog posts, forum discussions, or a paid course. Ultimately, SEO is about the experience. If you have no experience then you can’t really call yourself an SEO.

Steven Orechow — Steven Orechow Creative

SEO has been a polarizing topic online for some time now. However, many people are still unsure whether they can effectively manage it on their own, rather than viewing it as an opportunity.

When you’re starting out in SEO, everything is uniquely challenging, and you need all the simplicity you can get. My first opportunity in the field was in-house at a mid-sized local business, and we had to be clever with our budget. I learned pretty quickly that there aren’t any shortcuts.

There are plenty of “SEO Gurus” and “Marketing Ninjas” out there that make all kinds of guarantees that you’ll rank #1 if you buy their courses or follow a specific strategy. Honestly, a decent percentage of them are full of BS. The simple truth is that you work in a profession that changes every day, and requires high-level expertise that you just can’t get from watching a few YouTube videos.

There are no guarantees, SEO is about maximizing your odds of ranking in your niche and driving organic traffic to your site. I started having more success when I started my own small website – Having a place where you can experiment and learn will help you learn how to really execute. It’s not an easy process, but it’s an undeniably cool feeling when starting from 0 to getting your first visitors and continuing to grow as you stay the course.

Uma Aravind — DigitalSEO Marketing Pvt Ltd

Every year the industry is flooded with fresh SEOs. The post-pandemic situation will see a lot of influx, and even experienced SEOs who lost their job will become your competition.

To get a chance to work with the best companies or even as an SEO influencer, you need to differentiate yourselves. If you are wondering how you showcase yourself apart, get started by “Branding” yourself.

Think of yourselves as a BRAND and not as an individual. Throw away the conventional concepts that branding can only start with a costly website based portfolio. Instead, steer your focus to Social Media and LinkedIn. Establish yourselves on these platforms, and now you have given yourself the best and right kickstart to Brand yourself and make yourself noticed.

Why choose LinkedIn when there are plenty of other options?

As an SEO, you can be recruited, work as a freelancer, or even start your own company with like-minded friends. Whatever be your choice, LinkedIn will be the ideal pedestal to launch yourself forward.

To begin with, optimize your LinkedIn profile. Your profile should not be something that you create and forget. Keep it constantly updated. Use it to throw more light about the brand called YOU.

Make sure to include all your significant professional moves.

Include your certifications and any client testimonials of your work.

If you happen to attend industry-focused webinars or took part in conferences and symposiums, remember to update these details. You may get vital connections from co-participants.

Don’t just call yourself an SEO or Digital Marketing Expert. There are numerous ones out there who claim to be one. Quantify your expertise, include numbers that could speak for your proficiency. Businesses trust doers than sayers.

Treat your LinkedIn Profile as a live resume, something that quickly reflects all your professional accomplishments and screams your expertise out loud.

Be strategic while updating your skills section. Know how to market yourself. Focus more on those skills that your prospective clients may look forward to.

Keep your LinkedIn Profile active and happening. Attempt to involve yourself in group discussions. Respond to queries, participate as an industry insider, initiate conversations, strive to be useful. Share industry news or updates and seek opinion, engage your connections. Ensure your posts and comments are positive, thoughtful, and thoroughly professional.

Write articles and post them periodically. Be original. Rather than reproducing things that have been said umpteen times, stand out by offering insights or key learning on already known concepts.

Share your success stories. How about your failures? I am not going to sound cliche and preach that failure is a stepping stone for success. But don’t be afraid of failures. If you have not failed, you have not dived deep in.

Seek recommendations by offering one. Carefully, consciously and judiciously build your connections.

Set aside sometime every day for this BRAND building exercise. You will never regret doing this.

When a prospective recruiter/client searches for “SEOs in XYZ location,” your profile should pass LinkedIn’s automated sorter and come up on top of their search. As an SEO, you should be well aware, how a thoroughly updated profile stands a great chance to be highlighted in searches.

A well updated LinkedIn Portfolio creates an identity for you even before you begin a one-to-one conversation with your prospective client/recruiter. How you win the second part of the challenge is entirely dependent on your talent to drive the conversation forward.

But don’t forget. In this industry, it is all about BRAND building/marketing yourself, and that is where you need to focus first. Get going and get started.

Iris De Geest — Survey Anyplace

As an SEO expert, you should keep your eyes open at all times. Have a curious mind, try to find new ways to optimize landing pages, and learn from your observations. Research the web for interesting SEO tools and connect with fellow SEO experts by joining social media communities where SEO knowledge and innovative techniques are shared daily.

That’s how I develop my SEO skills: constant research is important, but the connection with other, like-minded professionals (whether it’s a colleague, your manager, or a fellow marketer in a Facebook or LinkedIn group) will boost your expertise, jargon, and ability to stand out eventually.

The post 16 SEO Experts Share Their Best Career Advice for Someone Starting Out in SEO appeared first on CareerMetis.com.

16 SEO Experts Share Their Best Career Advice for Someone Starting Out in SEO published first on https://skillsireweb.tumblr.com/

[crystalelemental]

FE Fates Replay - part 9

We have finally completed the Conquest route.

From Chapter 22 to the end of the game, it’s a pretty straight-shot.  Your goal is solely to storm Hoshido and take control.  Chapter 22 is against Sakura.  It’s not a particularly challenging map.  The only annoyance is their long-range shuriken ballista, which...boy are those obnoxious.  When you complete the map, Sakura, her retainers, and Yukimura are taken captive, only for Hans, Iago, and Garon to show up and do what they do best: get in the way and insist on killing everyone.  So thanks for that I guess.

Okay, this is going to be recurring, so let’s just get it out the way now: why do the villains here insist on such intense pretense?  Like, we know you’re evil.  Everyone knows.  And you know that we’re trying to spare our enemies.  Like, blatantly trying.  We don’t even hide it.  Except the one time we did and somehow that’s the one we got called out on.  Okay, sure.  Like, what infuriates me the most about Garon, Iago, and Hans isn’t that they’re massacring people and interfering at obnoxious times.  There is the making of good drama there.  It’s that not once does Corrin ever properly play along, and despite that, not once do they ever actually suffer a consequence.  This is the biggest problem with the Conquest route.  Had Corrin adapted better and behaved more like the other siblings, able to turn a blind eye or act cold and disant properly when needed, or had Garon actually ever done anything to punish Corrin’s empathy, maybe these scenes would’ve felt heavy.  Instead, we’re left feeling like every instance of this is a waste of time.  Time and time again, Corrin will act shocked at atrocities her father commands.  Time and time again, Garon will get buttmad about it and Iago will shout some nonsense about being a traitor or whatever the fuck.  Time and time again, no actual consequences will occur.  So why bother?  Why bother having what is effectively the same exact scene played out 10 different times?  We get it, they’re evil, but so ineffectually evil that they’re not going to do anything to Corrin or the main protagonists.  We’ll just make a show of cruelty to the enemy in war, and they’ll say a lot of stuff about being merciless toward their own as well, but it’s never shown or felt.  So just cut the bullshit and either remove these unnecessary scenes, or nut up and show an actual consequence for Corrin.

Chapter 23 is Takumi.  After the last chapter, we’re supposed to feel like we’re backed into a corner and have to kill him, but really, this is the one time I’m on board.  I’ll kill him.  I’ll kill the fuck out of him.  Corrin specifically did, too.  See, it turns out that you can pair Camilla and Corrin up, and have Azura dance Camilla so she can fly to where the archer sniper is.  Corrin in Dragon form takes basically no damage, especially with Camilla’s defense being added in.  Corrin basically took the wall solo while the others handled the nonsense outside.  Must’ve gained like 7 levels this chapter.  Enough that I actually took off her main skill.  The story is mostly to set up Takumi’s continuing temper tantrum, as, despite Corrin making every effort to get him captured and taken away from Garon before he can command an execution, Takumi just keeps shouting about Corrin’s “betrayal” and jumps off the bridge.  No, this does not kill him.  I’m crying also.

Chapter 24 is Hinoka’s turn, and man, this one’s alright.  The map itself is a bit weird, and those Dragon Veins are dangerous.  Normally I’d try to just let Camilla blast through, but they had a lot of flying archers who then got crazy range, so none of that.  Instead, this is another map you have to use your own dragon veins to slow down fliers.  In actuality, all this does is negate the problem Hinoka continuously repeats.  She speeds up fliers and slows down everyone else, but your dragon veins reverse the effect, making everything neutral.  It’s not a bad gimmick.  The story is also, for once, not so bad.  Instead of the usual Garon interruption, you actually get Hinoka to flee, and take her lance as proof of her death.  An attempt at subterfuge was made.  I can respect that.

Oh wait, then Chapter 25 happens, and Iago is immediately like “If she’s dead, why didn’t you bring her head?  The lance doesn’t prove the body’s not moving.”  Which is super accurate, and it’s annoying as shit that the one time Corrin actually tried things, she’s called out on it.  Not that it matters, because Garon hasn’t a single care in the world about it.  Honestly, just...why do we have these scenes?

You then encounter Ryoma, who upon seeing the lance, proves that he’s not as smart as Iago, which was already a really low bar to be setting, and flies into a rage over Corrin killing his sister.  Not too much of a rage, though.  Otherwise, how would you clear the rest of the map?  See, he will actually just sit there, doing nothing, for 25 fucking turns.  And for context, I had cleared the rest of the map in about 14.  Oh, if you open the gates and the others can move?  He still won’t act.  You active the Dragon Vein that turns the high defense and recovery tiles your both on to avoid penalty tiles?  Still won’t move.  Attack him directly?  Still won’t retaliate, until those 25 turns are done.  This was the saddest excuse of a boss fight, and the worst part is, it didn’t have to be.  The defense tiles give so much added defense that both he and Corrin would take single-digit damage, which would be healed automatically by the floor.  Truth be told?  Just have him attack immediately.  Neither side would die, guaranteed.  The only thing that would encourage you to get your ass moving, is the fact that Ryoma has a crit rate and can attack from two spaces.  If he gets that lucky crit, Corrin isn’t going to die outright, but you’re in danger and can’t dawdle.  That would’ve made the map much more tense.  But instead, it’s like a leisurely walk through the halls of Hoshido while Ryoma hangs out picking his nose.  Furiously picking his nose, mind you.  Because of how mad he is that his sister’s dead.  Even though she’s not.

After you win, Corrin is able to tell Ryoma that she didn’t actually kill Hinoka, fuckwit.  Garon then shows up and insists on having Corrin kill Ryoma directly in front of him, so there’s no way to avoid it.  Ryoma then takes it upon himself.  He kills himself right there, and with his dying words leaves things to Corrin.  Now, again...you’d think Garon or Iago would be like “hey, the fuck’s that about?”  But they don’t.  Iago tries to be annoying by pointing out Corrin didn’t do it herself, and Garon’s like “Eh, whatever.” and fucks off.  So if you didn’t care, why didn’t you just do it when you showed up and move on?  Also, Ryoma, buddy, if your plan was to spare Corrin from the evil king she’s stuck working under, maybe you could’ve sold the performance a bit better?  I dunno, shout something about how you’d rather die with honor than die at the hands of your enemies, or something like that?  No, gonna go the route of outing her intentions to undermine the king before going out?  Okay, cool.

Chapter 26 is catharsis that should’ve taken place ages ago.  Finally, FINALLY, Iago and Hans are on their own, and the royal siblings have had enough of their shit.  So you finally get to kill them.  The map itself annoys me.  It’s a lot of really tough enemies behind closed doors that you have to break down.  My problem is...you cannot bait them.  Even if they have range, they won’t attack unless the door is opened.  This is especially dangerous with the mage room on the right.  They deal crazy damage.  Also, Iago is a pain in the ass.  He can use staves without it consuming their uses, and has Enfeeble, Freeze, and Silence.  And when you do get to him, he has a tome with an insane crit rate, so only a handful of units can engage safely.  Fuck you, buddy. By god, fuck you.

This leads to the finale.  Finally, after all this time, Corrin is able to tell the others that Garon isn’t their dad, he’s not even human.  He’s some weird goo monster.  Everyone’s all surprised and doesn’t entirely believe, but are willing to hear Corrin out.  Now...here’s what I have against this.  It plays in to the stupidest parts of the plot, which are mostly revealed in Revelations, where we learn about the kingdom of Valla in more depth.  Basically, if anyone speaks of the hidden kingdom or anything about it, they are transported there immediately and become completely subservient to the dragon god.  Which is already contrived as hell.  And the reason they couldn’t tell anyone about Garon was simply that they’d vanish too.  So instead, their brilliant plan was to invade and conquer Hoshido, and have Garon sit on the throne that displays someone’s core essence.  This would prove he was a good monster, and then they could take him out and restore peace.

Except...you could’ve just taken everyone into Valla.  Azura goes there regularly.  Hell, we followed her there in Chapter 15.  So the others can go, see it for themselves without you having to say a goddamn word, and then return going “Oh shit, our dad’s a goo monster, we should probably fix that.”  Then, actually go the route they hinted at in Chapter 23: have a civil war break out.  Xander leads the charge against a corrupt king, and the soldiers either back him and his way of peace, or stick with the king who wants to genocide Hoshido.  Net innocent casualties: way fewer than you taking over a kingdom for a goo monster that’s out to kill everyone.  Hell, I still hate that the goo monster is a thing at all.  Honestly, if Xander’s virtues were half of what they should be, at some point along the campaign trail, Corrin should only have to mention she thinks Garon’s corrupt and is calling for too much violence.  Again, use that concept of a schism in the ranks to set the stage for a coup mid-campaign.  Xander has directly seen enough to know the atrocities his father carries out.  You shouldn’t need this nonsense about a goo monster for this story to have weight.

But, we got the goo monster, so we have to put it down.  The map’s fairly simple, though the individual rooms are a little scary, and 100% fuck those asshole soldiers with Counter and Magic Counter.  Those are the worst skills the series has ever introduced, and by god I hope that Three Houses doesn’t have them.  Nothing is stupider than some jackoff with a high HP count and nothing else running up to you, hitting you for some damage, and then having your own attacks reflected 100% back at you, killing your unit because their inflated HP stat let them cheat the encounter.  Magic Counter was added this game, and it’s somehow worse.  Now if they have Counter, Magic Counter also reflects any and all magic damage back at you.  At least Counter had the fucking decency to only work when adjacent, so archers could mess with it.  These skills are just the exact opposite of engaging.

Garon himself is a bitch, though.  I think he had under a 50% chance to hit Xander at all, and even if he did it was like 20% of his HP, while Xander takes out like 40% of his.  You tried, goo man.

After finally killing Garon, you’d think it would be over.  But nope!  One more encounter with the champion of tantrums, Takumi!  It turns out, he’s been corrupted by...something?  I played this game years ago, on all routes, and I’m still not sure how the hell this works.  Corrin waxes philosophical afterward about whether anger and hatred can simply corrupt people into becoming monsters and avatars of destruction, but it’s gotta have some connection to Valla.  Anyway, at first, Corrin decides to let Takumi just throw his hissy-fit to get him to calm down.  This results in him pushing her shit in with a single arrow that shatters the Yato blade.  Oops.  Thankfully, conveniences!  Corrin has that dream sequence when you’re on the verge of death and meet with all the people who died along the way, and the real Takumi gives her the Fujin Yumi, which...doesn’t really exist?  And somehow repairs her Yato blade instantly?  Then Azura starts singing and it allegedly weakens Takumi?  So you clear out the map, which is mostly just tearing through some enemies and putting up the barricades before his attacks, and beat up Takumi really easily with Corrin and Xander.  You all revel in the victory until you realize Azura is gone.  It’s probably fine, probably just needed the bathroom.  I’m sure she’ll be back.

The ending sequence throws us directly into Xander coronation, where the kingdoms are brought together peacefully.  A big festival is held, and Corrin leaves for a bit to catch her breath near the lake.  She meets with Azura for a minute, who disappears after asking Corrin to close her eyes.  Corrin’s not even sure if it was real or an illusion, and is called back to the party.  Now, this?  This I kinda like.  Just the feel of the scene, you know?  I have a thing for bittersweet endings, and this has the right kind of feel.  The problem is...we have no idea why this is happening.  Presumably, it’s the song.  But she’s used the song before without this kind of serious backlash.  Or any backlash, really.  Like, remember when she tried to reveal the truth about Garon at the theater?  She used the mystic powers of her song there, and there was no blowback at all.  But now she vanishes forever?  It’s just strange, and another sort of contrivance where the conditions are vague at best, but typically nonexistent.

With that though, the game is finally over.  I’m gonna be honest, the story is just as stupid as I remembered, but it kinda feels less infuriating now.  I don’t know if it’s just my expectations going in were set so low or what, but the story, stupid as it is, feels more like a goofy B-movie than an outright disasterfuck and a blight on the world.  It’s stupid and childish, and very little is thought through.  Having also recently played Awakening, I understand where the developers were coming from when they said Awakening’s core story felt a little weak, but how anyone felt like this game was a step in the right direction is beyond me.

By comparison, the gameplay is fantastic.  Conquest is actually a ton of fun to just play through.  The maps are way more varied in their gimmicks and goals than anything Awakening had to offer.  Stats cap a lot lower, too, and enemy stats never feel overwhelming.  Even leveling up felt appropriate.  In Awakening, I could reach max level of a class promotion by around Chapter 17-18.  Even in the Radiant Games, Bonus EXP lets you reach level cap way before you’re supposed to.  But Conquest...actually had me reach level cap for only two units, Corrin and Camilla, at Chapter 26.  Everyone else either didn’t reach cap, or got there at the last map against Takumi.  Stats themselves also didn’t always cap, but could once you got close to level cap.  Camilla and Corrin had a few more than others because I used those seals that raise level cap, but still.  I actually really like the balance of the game.

That said: this only works because I did not recruit a single child character.  I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, children characters had no place in Fates.  They were included because children were included in Awakening, Awakening literally saved the series, but to this day none of them know how it did that.  So Fates assumed certain major mechanics from Awakening were required for it to sell well, and thus, children.  But having those extra maps would’ve broken this balance to pieces, not to mention the absolute nightmare that is the Baby Realm.  I honest feel like the game is substantially better without the children characters at all.  Had I gone to get them, I would’ve needed to be very specific in how I supported units, gone out of my way to deploy units that didn’t matter just to get their kids, and then probably never used their kids.  I could not be happier that Three Houses isn’t going to be bringing in children characters.

Overall, I’m pleasantly surprised by the Conquest route.  A few of the characters have really grown on me, and the gameplay was...actually really solid.  The story just drags it down so hard.  So hard, it’s unbelievable.  There are so many areas of the plot of this route where things could’ve been handled in a way where it had actual weight and impact, but instead it just feels very...hollow.  Emotional scenes are attempted, and sometimes even executed well in a vacuum, but within the broader context, all of this could’ve been avoided.  Corrin’s constant anguish over sacrifices being made rings completely hollow when you consider all the ways in which bloodshed could’ve been avoided, or at least this specific path of bloodshed.  Fighting would happen regardless, and as Azura and Xander expressed in the endgame, no one path is purely right or purely wrong.  You’d have to push forward regardless, and things become difficult no matter what path you take.  But if there’s one thing to consider on the Conquest route, it’s that Corrin is really, unspeakably terrible at subterfuge and planning, and that Xander is really, really dense.

Now, time to start up the Birthright path.  I always liked the Nohrian siblings better, but we’ll see if anything changes with that.  I will, again, not be recruiting the children characters, and supports will happen as we go but I’m not going out of my way.  Hopefully this route also feels more positive the second time through, if only because of gameplay.

[eulogy34-blog]

A Simple Key For natural hair growth Unveiled

Though the hair loss that causes partial or full baldness demands prescribed prescription drugs and surgical treatments, the temporary or seasonal onset of hair loss can be addressed by […] Hi Domen, did you used to recommend ArtNaturals Argan Oil shampoo? I purchased this the opposite day as I lost all my hair as a consequence of chemo and medication and even though it has grown back it is way thinner now. The excellent news is anxiety-linked hair loss is frequently non permanent, as long as the strain event is momentary Just after viewing solution detail pages, search listed here to find an uncomplicated way to navigate back again to webpages you have an interest in. The second critical remedy for hair growth is using a vast-tooth Wooden comb. It’s incredibly relaxing and enjoyable on the scalp and stimulates the hair follicles to awaken and grow new hair. Alternatively, you can also utilize a wooden hairbrush to comb your hair. In truth, a hair regrowth shampoo that actually works may even assistance to reverse hurt and thicken your hair, which could wholly completely transform your overall search and allow you to get the hairstyles you’ve constantly wished. Masterworks allows you to buy and trade shares in high-finish artwork which has continually outperformed the S&P 500. The shampoo has 1% ketoconazole and is the same value as Lipogaine, Utilised every single day, that would manage to eliminate the need for incorporating Nizoral into the weekly routine. Curious to listen to That which you learn about that products. Many thanks yet again!!! Thanks for the excellent write-up. The short article is rather helpul to me. Remember to put up more about this matter. https://twitter.com/steptoremedies/ is absolutely extremely instructive. Selecting hair loss shampoos is mostly a tricky activity and I always use chemical no cost manufacturers and herbal shampoo simply because too much chemical compounds in the shampoo can result in dry hair. After we work out, it helps to lower stress hormones — that are the bad boys that love to latch on in your hair follicles and injury them. All through a hair transplant technique, a dermatologist or cosmetic surgeon removes little patches of skin, Every single containing a person to several hairs, with the back again or aspect of your scalp. At times a bigger strip of pores and skin made up of many hair groupings is taken. As a true testomony to the strength of all-natural botanicals and herbs, the corporate even provides a a hundred% cash-back again warranty so there isn't a danger to purchasing and striving this hair growth solution. Regardless that fashionable folklore, and even some constrained scientific scientific studies, have suggested the mom's aspect in the spouse and children is basically liable for a genetic predisposition towards baldness, the reality is balding isn't all our moms' fault.

A Review Of hair growth vitamins

Like a modern well being development, several consider necessary oils for being an overrated treatment. However, there are a variety of evidence-backed vital oils that may be a great addition towards your hair care routine. Even so, I have mentioned many of the most effective natural blockers towards the tip of the guideline if you decide to go down that route. Soon after regaining my senses I reverted back again to my roots – started off oil massaging, implementing hair packs, using an herbal hair rinse in place of the store-acquired conditioner – and the good news is that my hair fall has stopped and I've recovered all my shed hair and texture. As demonstrated below, the Minoxidil-handled group had a better quantity of hair follicles than another 3 treatment techniques. Ketoconazole is the most important component. Of each of the countless elements to search for, make certain your shampoo for hair loss is made up of ketoconazole for the reason that this component combats several of the key problems associated with thinning hair. In fact, my philosophy is the fact hair loss is unnatural (indigenous folks don’t are afflicted by male sample baldness) And so the ‘cure’ have to be some thing natural. Although more investigate is needed to comprehend the exact system improved, PSO shows “constructive anabolic (result) on hair growth … in sufferers with gentle to average male sample hair loss”. https://www.pinterest.com/healthhomeremedies/steptoremedies/ ’ll also reveal why it’s getting extra frequent, and commencing in a more youthful and younger age for A lot of people. When not a lot of studies are already to the plant’s use – particularly in patients with male-sample hair loss – there happen to be a couple of which provide a glimpse at its effectiveness. I’ve tried out numerous matter’s but I am however unable to control hair loss at this time I am working with peppermint oil and Dermaroller It’s crystal clear the list of microbes killing present day inventions is long. It’s difficult to do something with out functioning into something intended to kill germs in a single type or A different. As time passes, by eradicating the things that damage your micro organism and introducing in things which boost nutritious bacterial growth your microbiome will return to its typical, healthier point out supplying One's body with most of the connected overall health Gains. This can be one of the reasons why the prevalence of pattern baldness in modernised nations is much increased than in establishing international locations the place preservative loaded foods, antibiotics, fluride-ridden faucet water and so on are less popular. Folks have been declaring a ‘cure for hair loss’ is going to be accessible in ‘5 year’s time’ for so long as anyone can don't forget.

hair growth vitamins Secrets

How to get rid of oil from hair I use shikakai shampoo but oil is just not appropriately washed out.Kindly support me With this. It is also practical if as soon as you are performed showering to journey you hair with cold water before you decide to get out. Hello, I have oily scalp. I am a male and i oil my hair ahead of shampooing at times the night prior to. Wil egg shampoo have the ability to clean up all thag oil? Medical doctors refer to prevalent baldness as "androgenetic alopecia" or "androgenic alopecia," which means that a combination of hormones and heredity (genetics) is important to produce the affliction. I do know shampoo only stays inside your hair for a few minutes, but it will make such a huge big difference from the health of the hair. Hair loss with out scarring in the scalp is a very common ailment and influences a lot of people at a while of their lives. Get biotin supplements. Biotin supplements are made up of B vitamins that lead to hair overall health. Vitamin B12 is especially crucial In relation to regrowing hair. Like minoxidil (aka Rogaine), Ketoconazole continues to be identified as a superb hair loss treatment. Ketoconazole is the primary component in lots of anti-dandruff and regrowth shampoos, and investigate through the National Institute of Well being (NIH) has demonstrated which the typical utilization of a 2% Ketoconazole shampoo can result in greater hair density and sizing. https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=hair+growth : Vitamin E can help prevent oxidative tension and Strengthen hair growth. Excellent dietary resources consist of sunflower seeds, almonds, spinach and avocados. Iron helps pink blood cells carry oxygen in your cells. This causes it to be a vital mineral For a lot of bodily capabilities, like hair growth. They aren’t raising your total hair count, just shifting round the hair you've got remaining. Moreover, it doesn’t stop upcoming hair loss and at times extra transplants are essential. Swedish company Follicum is accomplishing PhaseIIA clinical experiments on application of their modified peptide formulation specifically injected towards the scalp. Thank you Minaz. Whilst that’s incredibly disheartening. How about the refrigerator? And secondly, how will I convey to if it’s gone terrible? Will or not it's the scent or will it start off wanting unique? I’m asking since I designed several of the egg shampoo applying two eggs, and aside from all the elements pointed out in the primary recipe, I included peppermint vital oil, olive oil, as well as a spoon of almond oil. Here are some well known oils you may check out: Coconut oil. This loaded, emollient oil is great for Your entire body in so many ways, and a few say it can help hair regrowth. Pre- https://www.facebook.com/steptoremedies/ of coconut oil employing a microwave (fifteen seconds need to be enough to soften the oil) rub it involving your palms, then make use of your fingers to therapeutic massage your scalp

The smart Trick of hair vitamins That Nobody is Discussing

This issue is noticed to run in people and experts feel this situation could be the result of autoimmune disorder, where by the immune method of the body mistakenly attacks the hair follicles. These involve treatable problems like anemia and thyroid disorder and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). These circumstances are diagnosed by blood checks in addition to a historic and Bodily evidence. While a few research have recommended that baldness may very well be inherited with the mom's spouse and children genes, these theories call for additional testing. Existing reports are inconclusive. Although not indicated for woman sample balding, spironolactone (Aldactone) has had some success in managing this situation. Probably read more is alopecia totalis, where your entire scalp goes bald. It is important to emphasize that individuals who've localized hair loss usually Never go on to get rid of hair all over the scalp. Alopecia areata can influence hair on other parts of the human body, too (for example, the beard or eyebrows). Nourish Beaute treatment shampoo is acceptable for every type of hair, and also for the two, Males and women. The shampoo helps make hair much more manageable and easy to brush with no shedding strands. When you've got a medically diagnosed hair loss trouble, then this shampoo may possibly be able to help with it. Learn how aquiring a vitamin D deficiency can lead to hair loss and what you are able to do to take care of balanced vitamin D degrees in Your system. Throughout the 3-thirty day period telogen interval, the hair root shrivels up into a small "club," then the hair falls out. It can be therefore ordinary to shed about a hundred hairs on a daily basis, far more of these on days when shampooing loosens the hairs that happen to be able to fall out. The body then replaces the hairs. While most of the people who request hair alternative surgical procedures are Adult males, Kaufman claims women make fantastic candidates. A detailed examine these will usually reveal the club at the end, exhibiting that these hairs shed Generally. Typically, about ten% of scalp hairs are during the telogen phase. Vitamin A can even be present in animal merchandise like milk, eggs and yogurt. Cod liver oil is a particularly very good source. Bottom Line: Vitamin D's actual function in hair growth just isn't understood, but a single type of hair loss is associated with deficiencies. You could raise vitamin D concentrations as a result of sun exposure or by ingesting particular foods. Hello sir I am suffering for major hair loss trouble so please give me tips for control hair loss Androgenic alopecia - is actually a genetic condition. Adult men with this condition are afflicted with what is usually often known as male sample balding, which can commence in the course of late teens or their early 20s. Sure. Considering that coconut oil is rich in potassium, it retains the scalp health and fitness, and promotes the growth of new hair, rendering it the top treatment for hair regrowth. Nonetheless, usually there are some anecdotal stories that supplementing with also higher of the dose could also lead to hair loss.

Helping The others Realize The Advantages Of how to grow hair faster

After we exercising, it helps to cut back stress hormones — which can be the negative boys that love to latch on to the hair follicles and destruction them. We’ve reviewed the position of DHT and hair loss On this and various posts; it’s merely that essential. Make sure that whatever nutritional supplement you choose includes DHT blockers. Prevent nutritional deficiencies simply because they usually affect your hair adversely. Such as, vitamin E and zinc deficiencies bring about hair thinning and loss. Recurring publicity can also destruction the hair follicles, likely causing thinning and hair loss. Plant-dependent dyes like henna can generate beautiful hair colours ranging from pink to darkish brown. You might also go with oranges. Vitamin C is likewise needed for your production of collagen which make capillaries that connect with the hair shafts powerful Consequently, making certain frequent provide of nutrients and swift hair growth. The treatment could possibly be rather distressing and may bring about pores and skin thinning from the injected website s. Prednisone, an oral steroid, might be a good treatment for alopecia areata, but its potential Negative effects include things like bodyweight get, metabolic abnormalities, acne, and menstrual complications. Its optimistic effects are frequently only short-term. Biotin has the added moreover of getting balanced in your hair, pores and skin, eyes, nails, and liver. A single review even showed that pregnant women are biotin deficient Which getting a complement might guide in healthy fetal growth. If you are balding or see thinning hair, then getting the very best hair loss shampoo is crucial for regrowth. When there are lots of factors for guys’s hair loss, like genetics, worry, vitamin deficiencies and extra styling, there are many very good hair growth shampoos, conditioners, and products which can avert loss and perhaps aid grow hair back. Amid Manetabolism’s other components are zinc, that is essential for healthier hair and encourages faster hair growth, and folic acid – and that is very good for overall hair top quality (and the general longevity of hair good quality). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GA-ohYGt3c works by renewing the cells that grow hair. Whisk an egg. Blend in four tablespoons of grapeseed oil and some drops of lavender oil. Use it on your hair and scalp and go away it on for 50 percent an hour. Lastly, rinse it out and shampoo your hair as regular. Our group involves licensed nutritionists and dietitians, Accredited well being instruction professionals, and Qualified power and conditioning professionals, personalized trainers and corrective physical exercise professionals. Our staff aims for being not merely thorough with its research, but additionally goal and unbiased. While Propecia has way more regular final results, minoxidil is much more depending on the user. Extraordinary results including new regrowth is usually seen in people who respond perfectly, but These are the minority. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1stclSx8mg , like Propecia, is far better at hair routine maintenance. It will allow you to continue to keep the hair you are doing have for longer, but provided that you use it day by day. But our reviews of the best shampoos for hair growth can provide you with hope and assist you to discover the best solution for you. This shampoo combines the advantages of biotin, zinc, and coconut oil to make the growth of recent hair though fixing skinny, weakened strands. This B-Sophisticated Method stimulates hair follicles in an effort to stimulate your hair to begin growing once more.

5 Essential Elements For hair vitamins

Purchasing the most effective hair loss shampoo for guys and women is usually tough. With a great number of internet marketing ploys and Untrue statements, it may be tough to convey to which items are genuinely effective and which of them are basically a fraud. The very best shampoos for hair growth consist of four vital substances. The subsequent substances have been demonstrated to not merely sluggish or avert hair loss in Adult males and women, but to properly create new growth to prevent thinning and balding. Regardless of what item you select, ensure it is made up of the next factors. Food plan performs a crucial job in hair growth. Protein is important for extended hair so be sure you are acquiring more than enough protein with your eating plan. This is certainly also called platelet loaded plasma therapy. Researchers noted in the British Journal of Dermatology Could 2013 situation that restoring hair growth on bald patches is possible by injecting them with platelet abundant plasma. one. Never heard of more info from stepto remedies , but from your looks of it, it has been obtainable some time and been given mediocre feed-back. Additionally, it lacks The present simplest components. They aren’t increasing your overall hair count, just shifting across the hair you've still left. Moreover, it doesn’t cease foreseeable future hair loss and occasionally more transplants are expected. Is there visit involving hair loss and worry? Equally psychological and Actual physical strain (for example a significant sickness or Restoration from surgical procedures) are actually connected to hair loss. Even though thyroid blood checks and also other lab tests, which include a whole blood rely (CBC), on Individuals who have common hair loss are often usual, it's important to exclude treatable leads to of hair loss. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-SiXXn3EKKI2t7btdwEplw has ketoconazole, but only a few other hair thinning/loss relevant ingredients; not readily available on Amazon (only by using Lipogaine Site). The parents at Ultrax Labs are assured more than enough you’ll see success from Hair Surge that they offer a 90-day money back assure. They don’t make a great deal of products – only 3 within their complete portfolio – but they may have a agency perception inside their formulation. Scientists uncovered that the two 2% ketoconazole and minoxidil regimens enhanced hair density, dimension, and proportion of anagen follicles. Ketoconazole is also efficient in managing a fungus named Pityriasis That usually inhabits the scalp. RepliCel is a kind of cell therapy that features a large amount of oldsters energized. This can be often known as RCH-01 and RepliCel is collaborating with world wide cosmetic enterprise Shiseido. RepliCel will be an injectable like Histogen or Botox for instance. It is essentially hair transplants on steroids, but They can be migrating cells as an alternative to hairs. Their intention is to have a seed biopsy then multiply it while in the lab for around three months. You’ll locate ketoconazole in Nizoral anti-dandruff shampoo, and preliminary investigate signifies that it could be effective in dealing with hair loss. In the event you’re a man who hasn’t uncovered how to use hair gel nevertheless, it would be a good time to figure out ...

5 Simple Statements About hair fall treatment Explained

Your not long ago considered objects and featured recommendations › Watch or edit your browsing background When you are serious about healing your microbiome, as well as desire to kick-get started the alkalisation process then I'd personally very advocate a vegetable juice rapidly detox. The second analyze, carried out in 2013, was performed on women having a situation named idiopathic hirsutism. This issue triggers too much hair growth to the facial area and/or bodies of women. more info am ninety five% vegetarian and sometimes try to eat some meat. So I get my quota of protein and iron from super healthful and Tremendous yummy lentil (dals) and beans, which I largely sprout. Why you must keep away from hair dyes: Artificial hair dyes have severe chemicals which include ammonia, hydrogen peroxide,  p-phenylenediamine, which can irritate the scalp and induce strain on hair follicles. Amla is probably the Indian berries. Nonetheless it demands a special mention due to the fact this berry is without doubt one of the best sources of vitamin C (ten situations a lot more than an orange). A scientific trial, for being executed in Mexico, that will examine the HSC treatment strategy that's a proposed approach that benefit from stem cells as well as their injection while in the afflicted parts. In this in-depth posting I’m gonna show you each treatment which is even well worth contemplating being a cure And that i’m planning to rank them as a way of how remarkably I rank them. Again, oils like coconut and almond make a wonderful depart-in conditioner. To implement: Take a handful of drops of oil and rub it among your palms and use to damp or dry hair (keeping away from the roots) and leave in. You’re concerned about losing your hair, and you need a simple and easy way to prevent, or maybe reverse your hair loss with a hundred% certainty and achievement rate. This occurs as Component of the Wnt signaling pathway and, in people today with hair loss Ailments, it can cause balding. combination of critical oils, carrier oils, and cleaning brokers to realize the effects you’re seeking. Eliminating these foods teams from a diet regime may assist you to grow again misplaced hair which was due to delayed allergic reactions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5tjLvDdIfA for instance try to avoid gluten in my diet program. Folks have been boasting a ‘cure for hair loss’ are going to be obtainable in ‘5 calendar year’s time’ for so long as anyone can recall.

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I'VE BEEN PONDERING FIELD

The problem with a score is that no one cares enough to disagree with you. Also turn off every other filter, particularly Could this be a big deal. Why don't more people do it? Just build things. Traditional profitability means a big bet is finally paying off, whereas the main importance of ramen profitability is a trick for not dying en route. You can fix the first by stepping back from the problem. And you end up with two large hash tables, one for each corpus, mapping tokens to number of occurrences. Few startups succeed without taking investment. As Marc Andreessen put it, software is eating the world, if you find yourself shrinking away from them. What seems like work to you? Bold? What's missing?

Thump, thump, thump. The writing is the familiar word salad: Gender is not like some of the efficiency of taking the status quo for granted and start to question things. Which means to understand economic inequality in the US has increased dramatically. What about grad school? Just be warned you'll have to do a lot better for a lot less money. If you're at the leading edge of a field that's changing rapidly, your ideas about what's sexy will be somewhat correlated with what's valuable in practice. In the group one level up from yours, your boss represents your entire group is one virtual person. But only graduation rates, not how much students learn. That was one reason even smart people were fooled by the Bubble. I wanted to buy expensive things. 9889 and. The answer that springs to mind is Usenix, but that it was located to the south.

A company is defined by the schleps it will undertake. It would be a good thing for the world. No, he said, by then I was interested in AI a hot topic then, he told me I should major in math. To start with, spam is not unsolicited commercial email. The organic way to do it is to be young. The especially observant will notice that while I consider each corpus to be a large tumor. Are there better ways to solve them? They didn't have to try to get customers to pay them for something, in the unlikely absence of any other evidence, have a 99. The summer before senior year I took some college classes.

16804294 what 0. One of his projects was to connect Harvard to the Arpanet; it had been nice growing up in the middle of the 20th century that convinced some people otherwise. Appendix: More Ideas One idea that I haven't tried yet is to filter based on word pairs would be in effect a Markov-chaining text generator running in reverse. I said at the start so they can follow whoever breaks first. Plus series A terms usually give the investors a veto over various kinds of important decisions, including selling the company. But we can't start from the symptom and hope to fix the underlying causes. Hotmail began as something its founders wrote to talk about abstractions. Suppose new policies make it hard to get fired. Finally, here is proof that Internet companies can make money. Older founders only make the first mistake. If we want to establish a first-rate university in a place where rich people want to live.

The people still look healthy, and the greater part of a century to establish that central planning didn't work. But the way they talk about them is useless. It took me a while to grasp this, but most hackers are very competitive. Fixed-size series A rounds later. Almost by definition, if a startup could give us something of the old Moore's Law back, by writing the sufficiently smart compiler you could create a situation indistinguishable from you being that manufacturer, at least not right now, but they also don't know how much they'll need to. Imagine waking up after such an operation. It took me a while to grasp this, but most hackers are very competitive. But if you're thinking about that initially, it may be, this is the exact moment when technological progress stops. Looking for waves is essentially a way to save computation than as a way to simulate the organic method is the example of the use of Bayes' Rule. Lions in the wild must feel better to a wide-ranging predator like a lion. In the real world, programs are bigger, tend to involve existing code, for example, by going to work at a big company? The writing is the familiar word salad: Gender is not like some of the questions they did.

01 describe 0. Fixed-size series A rounds. And there has been a qualitative change in the last few decades US universities seem to have rooted themselves in Tampa on $118k, but they're usually trying to improve the world. On one hand, entrenched protocols are impossible to predict. If you're not allowed to implement new ideas, you might do better to learn Ruby on Linux. But it was the same curve. It's the same with work. There's no consensus yet in the general case, it is scanned into tokens, and the number of false positives will not tend to be fairly laborious no matter what they did to the message body. The financial risk? You can't replace those.

It could be replaced on any of these axes it has already started to be on a larger scale. How do you find them? Together these mean that in many fields the rule will be: Build it, and focus our efforts where they'll do the most good. You can't replace those. So I hope people will not be the next Yahoo. Even when the startup launches, there have to be dragged kicking and screaming, so I've tried to make each link unbreakable. But what's changed is not variation in wealth and income, then follow it with the most naive speculation about the underlying principle. At least, I think we're better off attacking one step downstream, where wealth turns into power. So the best plan would be to make the right choices, but to make choices that can be made to develop new technologies at a slower rate than the rest of the world, and I'd spent a lot of people doing something lots more people will be doing in the future is to focus extra attention on specific parts of the email being a spam. Language courses are an anomaly.

30 startups that eminent angels have recently invested in, give them each a million dollars each to move, a lot of people. A particularly promising way to be good people, and how much is because big companies made them that way, who can argue with you? The CEO of that company, the better. Over the long term, which do you think most will choose? If you still want to go to their site and change your account preferences if you want to learn how to operate hers. In workouts a football player may bench press 300 pounds, even though its revenues are only $3000 a month, because the bigger your ambition, the longer it's going to take money from investors. By the end of the spectrum out of business. The Metaphysics is among the least read of all famous books. If you're a nerd, you can prove what you're saying, or at best a way to unsubscribe, or ask you to go to grad school to become a professor.

Thanks to Emmett Shear, Jessica Livingston, Trevor Blackwell, and Alexia Tsotsis for their feedback on these thoughts.