#i don’t know. sometimes I think that the whole conceit of the show being well I guess you didn’t think that Johnny Lawrence had a past huh

[vampire-the-askerade]

Could you spare a crumb of general Beckett headcanons?

[Here you go! This is just some of my understandings of the character, and the ideas might change later on down the road]

While most everyone, including himself, would think that he is one of the smartest and most calculating kindred to live (so to speak), there are many, many times where he’s just flying by on guesses, knee-jerk reactions, and an inordinate amount of luck.

Don’t get it wrong, he is extremely intelligent and a master of planning when he needs to be, he’s always been more of a creature of action, and convinces everyone that it was all planned. Himself as well, sort of a, “I’m so good a planning, i even surprise myself sometimes!” attitude.

Going off of that, he is very conceited. He would argue confident is the correct term, perhaps self assured. However, it well passed the line of, “being sure of one’s self,” to, “being full of one’s self.”

Thing about it though is that it’s not a malicious sort of conceit. It’s more of a, “I’m better than everyone else, therefore I am the best teacher for everyone else.” Look at those other people, it’s so sad how they have to struggle over the simplest thing that he is moved, nay, obligated to show them the error of their ways.

As long as it doesn’t do anything that could put himself or his current objective at risk.

A good example of this is his interactions with the fledgling during the events of VTMB. He might not go out of his way to follow them, at least not purposely, and when he realizes the imminent danger in LA he gets the hell out of dodge, but when he does meet up with them, he gives truly helpful advise and even talks to them in a gentler, almost brotherly tone as opposed to the majority of their other interactions.

That being said, once he does run into someone he deems to be truly on his level, or god forbid, above it, he can get a bit pissy. He’ll keep it tone down as long as all parties are cordial, but the first glimmer of rivalry or contempt, then he is not going to be tolerating that person in any way, shape, or form

Similarly, he has very little problem letting pompous people know that he sees them as such. There’s that whole thing where a prince made him reveal what he actually thought of him, but I do get the feeling that the prince didn’t have to delve too deep to get to those feelings either.

He’s an interesting case of trying to be suave while simultaneously neither not carrying or not completely knowing how. Ends up being so in his own oddball sort of way. That is, he’s so unapologetically himself that it ends up being more appealing than people that put on airs.

This however can make it rather difficult to read the room. Almost can’t grasp why people wouldn’t have the same thought process as him.

He will make an effort to listen and understand where he might be mistaken, but only if it’s done in a courteous manner. Finds the whole process as a puzzle to solve rather than an actual faux pas.

Might seem like an oxymoronic statement, but he is one of the kinder hearted kindred. He still partakes in the more violent aspects of the other vampires, but only when he has to. It’s sort of his way to combat his nature as a gangrel and the perception that all kindred from that clan are little more than the beast that inhabits them.

Even with that, a kind wolf is still a wolf. If you’re not careful of what you’re doing or where you are, our dear anthropologist with bite and bite hard. When things get messy with him, they get violently messy.

Sort of like, other than changing into animals when he needs to, he keeps his more bestial nature under such a tight lock and key, that when there’s a reason to actually let it out, he’s got months worth of beast rage pent up there.

While he doesn’t mind it where people call him an history or archeologist, he does much prefer for people to more specific term of anthropologist. Sees it as it being as misleading or incorrect as referring to someone as an artist or a painter when they were actually a sculptor.

[theboost]

Oh fuck I thought about cobra kai again. How can a show miss so many of its own themes

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

Is This On?

Also on Ao3

Muggle things weren’t that complicated. If Potter could master them, then so could Draco. Refrigerators were a godsend and whoever invented the telly was a genius. He had figured out the function of a light bulb instantly, it was the electricity itself that he still hadn’t fully grasped. Where did it come from? How did it know when to work? Some things, however, didn’t make any sense no matter how many times it was explained to him.

The internet.

Draco didn’t understand where it began, where it was located or how it worked. All he knew was that he could ask questions to the phone Harry gave him and it would answer back. Sometimes the lady trapped in the phone would send him to the internet to provide information or other times to a little telly inside the phone too.

Which led him to his current predicament.

Harry sometimes used the internet to talk to Granger. There was a little camera on the computer. At least that’s what Harry said but hadn’t really ever showed him much more than that. Could he use it to talk to Harry?

Draco poked the little camera several times, trying to get it to work. He typed in the password that Harry wrote down hoping that would help. When he was met with a photo of the two of them, he tried not to be endeared. Potter would be such a sentimental sap.

“How does this work?” Draco muttered to himself as he stared at the little icons. He couldn’t remember the steps Harry had taken to talk to Granger. Would it even work if he had remembered? He didn’t want to talk to Granger, he wanted to talk to Harry.

“Internet show me Harry.”

Nothing happened.

Draco huffed. It had been a long shot anyway. Reluctantly, Draco pulled out his phone and hit the button that brought out the lady inside. “How do I call on the internet?”

She repeated his question to him as if that was going to help somehow before he was brought to a list of options.

“Skype.” Draco wrinkled his nose. That didn’t sound familiar. He set his phone down and opened the same icon on the computer that his phone had brought him to and typed in Skype.

The first thing that popped up was a little telly. Harry called them videos, but Draco liked that they were little tellies and didn’t care what Harry said. The little telly was boring and showed him too many steps to follow. What drew his attention were more little tellies that he could select from. Some were about Skype too, but others were about all kinds of things.

Make-up. Music. Food. Books. Sports.

There were too many to choose from. So he watched several different little tellies. A lot of them were boring and he ended up either leaving for another one or skipping to the good stuff. Some people weren’t the actors that they thought they were. Honestly, where was the charisma? The charm? He could do it much better.

Draco paused, thumb over the mouse as he thought about it.

He could do it better than most of the people in the little tellies. He had the charisma that they didn’t, he had the charm, the looks, the better smile. And his life was much more interesting than these people. Those with boring lives shouldn’t talk for an hour unless their aim was to put people to sleep. Oh, that was another thought. Were there little tellies to fall asleep? There were little tellies for everything. He rather liked the internet, even if it made no sense.

Draco watched a few more little tellies before he figured he knew enough to do it too. It wouldn’t let him make a little telly until he created an account, which he thought was kind of rude, but it was their rules. A lot of people didn’t use their real name, so he chose not to either. It took him longer than he wanted to find something that suited him.

Slytherin’s Heir.

Finding out that Harry and his idiot friends thought that he had been Slytherin’s Heir had been flattering. Oh, they hadn’t thought that, but they didn’t realize the kind of compliment it had been. What he wouldn’t have given to be Slytherin’s Heir. That kind of power and social status would have made him untouchable.

With his name chosen, it wanted a photo, but Draco didn’t have any photos of him on Harry’s computer. So he didn’t do anything, let the internet do a blank one. Draco’s foot tapped a few times as he realized his account was complete. Now all he had to do was make a little telly.

It took a few times to find the right succession of buttons to find the live option. He didn’t really understand what being live meant, but he did know that meant that he didn’t have to have a little telly already made, that he could create one right there.

“Is this on?” Draco asked, lips pursed as he poked the camera. “I’m not really sure if this is working. Honestly, I was trying to talk to Harry when I decided to make a little telly. Harry’s my boyfriend. Hi Harry.”

Draco waved at the camera with a small smile. He wished he could see Harry’s face.

“Harry’s actually mad at me right now. He’s an annoying prat who likes to think he’s right all the time.” Draco paused; one side of his face scrunched as the thought about what Harry’s reaction would be to his little telly.

“Maybe mad is an exaggeration,” Draco sighed, one hand pushing through his hair. He hadn’t slicked it back in a few days, too out of sorts to feel up to it. His hair fell into his eyes which was an annoying reminder of why he liked his hair slicked in the first place. “He’s more disappointed.”

Draco grimaced as he remembered the last time he had seen Harry.

“He loves me,” Draco whispered, hating that his cheeks were warm. “He says it all the time. At least he used to.”

A long-suffering sigh escaped as he slumped in the chair with wheels that Harry insisted on using even though Draco thought it was a safety concern.

“When I say all the time, I do mean all the time,” Draco grinned. “He didn’t hear that growing up at all and I think he says it so much because he’s trying to make up for lost time. I don’t mind. I like hearing it. Makes me melt a little bit to know that he loves me so much.”

Draco frowned, sitting up straighter.

“You better not tell him that though. That’s embarrassing.” He waved a finger at the camera in what he hoped was a threatening manner.

“I didn’t hear I love you growing up either. It was rare to hear my parents say anything even hinting at love. But the thing is, I’ve always known they loved me. I could see it in the things they did. When my father would show me a new spell or help me with my hand movements. My mother would bring home my favourite sweets whenever she went out. They would stay up later than was presentable with me and listen to the radio.”

The smile on his face was bittersweet. As much as he knew that his parents loved him, it would have been nice to hear it more than they did.

“I guess I picked up their habit,” Draco winced. “I tell Harry I love him… sometimes. I try to tell him more, but the words don’t come easy to me. My parents knew I loved them, and they certainly didn’t need me to say it. But I try to show Harry too!”

Draco’s hands had begun to move in the beginning but were now thrown in the air.

“I make sure whenever he’s on a case to keep his plants watered, even if the one Neville gave him has it out for me and tries to kill me. When he’s having a bad day I make sure his duvet smells like mint because I know he’s going to collapse on our bed and not move for longer than is healthy and for some reason mint is his favourite smell. I don’t really know how to cook that well but the lady in my phone helps me order from Harry’s favourite restaurant and I do that when he’s feeling sad and sometimes when he’s really happy too.”

Draco’s lips turned downward the longer he talked. It bothered him that Harry couldn’t see that he was loved.

“I’m not a people person but I willingly go with him on what he calls adventures around London. Adventure is accurate because wherever Harry goes, trouble follows. Last month we had to run from people with sticks on horses. Harry said they were the law, but I feel like if you were lawmen then you should dress better but that’s beside the point. Then there was this one time we got kicked out of a library. That was more my fault, but Harry was the one who didn’t tell me that the books didn’t talk or yell. Who wants to go to a library with silent books? That’s like going to a gallery where the paintings don’t talk. What’s the point?”

Muggles were weird, honestly. There were a lot of things they did that were smart, and he wished that Wizards would adopt too. But a large amount of what Muggles did was boring. They lived boring lives and he felt bad that they didn’t have Magic to spice it up.

“I try to show with actions how much he means to me, and I thought I was doing a good job at it, but I guess not.” His eyes closed as he remembered the hurt expression on Harrys’ face.

“He told me he wished I would tell him I loved him more. I told him there was no point. Which in hindsight, I’ll admit was a mistake. I don’t take it back, mind you. But I wish I had explained better before he left. I meant there was no point in saying it more if I could tell him through actions. Which I have been doing since I realized I loved him. I thought he knew. I thought he could see how much I love him.”

Draco swallowed around a lump in his throat. He wasn’t worried about their relationship, not really. Harry sometimes needed a few days to cool down when they argued. Only usually, it was anger that was the parting goodbye and not a heartbreaking sadness.

He looked back to the camera, hating that his eyes were wet.

“I love him, so much. I could talk about all the things he does for me that I love. Like the way he looks at me, the way he makes me feel loved and whole. The way he holds my hand too tight, like he thinks I’ll pull away. As if I ever would. Or the way I feel like I’m high on liquid luck whenever we’re together. But those are selfish to point out. I don’t want to talk about me when I bring up what I love about him. That’s conceited.

“I love the way he throws a fist in the air when he gets an answer on the telly right. I love his stupid hair that has to be sentient at this point, never lying flat. I love the softness in his eyes when he’s happy, the way they shine so brightly. Almost as bright as his smile. I love how kind he is. I know I give him shit for that, which I should, but there’s a goodness to him that isn’t common anymore, and I love that. I love how much he cares about other people.

“I love how hard he works—puts every ounce of himself into whatever he’s working on no matter how big or small. I love how smart he is, even if he doesn’t see it himself. He thinks of the world in ways that others don’t—a genius to him that fascinates me. I love how much he loves. He loves with everything that he has. He loves people in general. Wants to see the best in them, has a faith that never wavers. His friends are his family, his family is his world and the love he has for all of them is another extension of himself that is everlasting.”

Draco blinked through the wetness as he sniffled.

“I’m honoured to be part of that love. To know that he could care about me a fraction of what he feels for others is overwhelming. I know he loves me; Merlin knows that I do. How could I not? He doesn’t just say it, he shows it. And I just wish that he knew how much I loved him too. I know I don’t say it enough, and I try, I do, but I had hoped that he could see it. Maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I didn’t show it enough, maybe I didn’t try harder. Maybe I should have done more.”

Draco wiped at his cheeks hating that he let his emotions get the best of him. Especially on his first little telly!

“What hurts the most is that I don’t know how else I could have showed him,” Draco laughed bitterly. “I really don’t. I give so much of myself to Harry, perhaps that’s not healthy, but it’s true. I love him so bloody much and I hate that he doesn’t see that, that he doesn’t know. How could I not love him? Harry, how could you not know that I love you?

“I love you…”

Draco took a deep breath, wishing it wasn’t as shaky as it was as he twirled in the chair. That had to be the reason Muggles had such dangerous chairs, so they could twirl.

“My first little telly wasn’t supposed to go like this,” Draco smiled wryly as he placed his chin on his palm. “I was supposed to charm you all with my good looks and witty personality. And what did I do? Cry over my relationship issues. Like anyone wants to see that. Maybe I’ll tell you the story of how Harry and I fell in love next time. Or maybe the first time we met. Something happier than my tears. Pansy always said I’m an ugly crier—the jealous bitch—so no sad topics next time, I promise.”

Draco leaned forward; lips pursed as he tried to figure out how to turn it off.

“I’m not sure anyone is going to see this. Maybe that’s for the best. I just know I look like a cross between Doxy droppings and Weasley on a good day. I hope you all are having a better day than I am. I’m going to go as soon as I shut this off.”

Draco frowned, clicking a few buttons before he gave up and shut down the whole computer. The simplest solutions were for the best. He spun in the chair one more time facing the rest of their flat, wishing not for the first time that Harry hadn’t taken his happiness when he left.

——

Watching his little telly back was a painful experience. His charm and charisma were there, but it didn’t look as polished as some of the other little tellies he had seen. He’d just have to keep trying.

Draco was about to start a new one when he noticed that there were a lot more numbers than there should have been at the bottom. It had been two days since he had made it, and he expected there to only be his replay.

Not the 819,543 that stared at him. And every passing minute the number grew by the tens of thousands.

Draco double checked that he was on his little telly and not someone else’s before he covered his mouth. Did that many people see him cry? Merlin, what did he do? While the thought was horrifying, what truly scared him was that there were comments.

There were comments.

Oh no.

Draco groaned, already blaming all of this on Harry. And the internet, the internet could take the blame too. With one eye closed, he scrolled down.

NamelessHope 1 day ago Anyone else find this endearing? He’s like an old grandma that doesn’t know how the internet works.

Sorrymum 5 hours ago He’s so cute. Why can’t you be single?

Michael the Sexual Taco 2 minutes ago His partner is trash. It’s so obvious he’s in love. How could Harry not see it?

Bleach 2 days ago First!!!

CubesAreTriangles 13 hours ago Go bottom go!

Potatoes for Life 7 hours ago Nooooo don’t cry! If you cry I’m going to cry

Draco squinted at the comments. Why were Muggles so fucking weird? And what did they mean bottom? Did people just assume things like that? He liked to fuck and be fucked, thank you very much.

Meaty Meat 10 minutes ago Y r u gay

Draco snorted. Okay, maybe Muggles were entertaining.

Casey J 1 day ago I can’t tell if you’re just ranting or want advise. If it’s the former, then ignore me. But maybe Harry does know you love him. I think it’s obvious that you do, so he must know that. Maybe he needs it said too.

Randy Rants 8 hours ago You need couples therapy not the internet

ParsleySnips 2 days ago I totally cried

Pearl’s Pearly Pearls 2 days ago I want to be loved like you love Harry.

SwiperNoSwiping 1 hour ago If you two don’t break up you should do another video with him.

Draco scowled. They weren’t going to break up. A touch of hesitancy filled him at the thought. It had been 6 days since he last saw Harry. Not their worst fight, and he would’ve tried to find Harry and talk to him if it had been completely silent. But Harry sent a Patronus every morning that nuzzled him awake. The Patronus didn’t speak a message but the love he could feel was a message all on its own.

Karla S 1 day ago Am I the only one who caught that he said spell? Is your father a devil worshiper?

Gigi’s my Daddy 2 days ago Little tellies. That’s so cute. That should be our fandom name when you blow up.

Gay4You 20 hours ago I’ve never been invested in someone else’s love life this much. If you and Harry don’t make up I’m going to riot.

Draco looked through several more comments before he pushed away from the computer. There were a few rude ones and a lot more supportive ones, but all of it made him nervous. He didn’t like that so many people knew about his feelings. It was his own fault for making the little telly, but he didn’t think anyone was going to see it!

Part of him was panicking. He could delete it, probably, if he asked the lady in his phone how. But did he want to? Draco bit his lip, unsure what to do. If he deleted it, all those people who saw it would still remember it, so he’d only be stopping new people from viewing it.

Before he could go over the pros and cons of either option, the front door slammed open, causing him to yelp and jump out of the chair.

Hands raised, Draco glared at Harry, who was staring at him intently, chest moving rapidly.

“What is wrong with you?” Draco sneered. “I nearly came out of my skin. If you’re trying to kill me, you almost succeeded. Merlin don’t do that a—”

Draco cut off when Harry marched toward him, eyes still intense. His mouth was still open, ready so say something, but nothing came out when warm hands cupped his cheeks.

“Draco, I’ve always known you loved me.”

Oh no.

He closed his eyes tightly. Harry watched his little telly. How? Why?

“Hey,” Harry whispered, thumbs moving in a gentle caress. “Look at me.”

Draco shook his head. He didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry.”

That had his eyes opening before they widened. “What?”

“We’re so different,” Harry began with a wry chuckle. “Everything about us is different. And for some reason I forgot that. I assumed that our love language was the same. But the beautiful thing about languages is how different they are. I expected yours to be the same as mine and I was wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Draco hated that his voice wavered.

“You’re right, I do say I love you a lot.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Draco hurried to explain. “I didn’t mean it to sound—”

“I know,” Harry shushed him, a thumb placed over his bottom lip. “I say it because I don’t want you to forget that I love you.”

Draco shook his head, wanting to tell Harry that he could never forget. How could he? But he didn’t want to interrupt.

“When I was little, I didn’t just want to be loved by my relatives, I wanted to love them too. But they hated me, and the feeling was mutual. I wanted to love someone just as much as I wanted to be loved. And I guess I say it so much as a reminder to never forget that. I love you, Draco and I can’t help but say it over and over again.”

“I know,” Draco parroted as he pressed a kiss to the thumb still over his lip. “I love that you say it so much. I don’t want you to stop. Lately, you’ve been saying it less.”

Harry’s eyes closed briefly. “I’m sorry. You don’t always say it back and that hurts. I thought you didn’t want me to say it. I thought—”

“No,” Draco shook his head again, this time more violently. “Please no. I’m sorry. I want to say it more, and I promise I’ll try but please don’t stop saying it if I can’t.”

Harry shushed him again and if he wasn’t so close to crying, he’d probably have hexed Harry for treating him like a scared child.

“You do show me that you love me,” Harry said, eyes soft and full of the love that Draco wasn’t sure he could live without. “All the time and that’s your love language. You show me through actions, and I needed the reminder.”

“I want to give you the love you deserve,” Draco whispered, blinking rapidly, willing himself not to cry. “You deserve to hear it just as much as you give it. And I’m sorry I don’t do that.”

“I don’t need it,” Harry argued, eyes narrowed. “And don’t you dare presume to know what I deserve. I get to decide that, and I’ve already given you my heart. So it’s up to you to keep it safe.”

Draco inhaled sharply. Harry’s love was special. “I want to love you vocally too. I want to love you the way you love me.”

“The way you love me is exactly what I need.”

Draco’s nose wrinkled. “I feel like you’re settling.”

“Not your decision.”

“Harry—”

“Draco,” Harry began, flicking him in the forehead. “If you want to say it more, I won’t object. I’m just telling you that I don’t need it like I thought I did. We’re in love and it doesn’t matter how different we show it. The love is still there.”

“Okay,” Draco sniffled, wiping his nose on Harry’s shoulder when he was pulled into a strong embrace. After days of no contact, he basked in their combined warmth. A feeling he had missed more than he thought possible.

Draco turned his head, mouth near Harry’s ear as he whispered,

“I love you.”

If Harry held on tighter, and Draco felt a wetness on his neck, well that was no one else’s business.

~Fin

———

Short Extra

“Hi little tellies!” Draco waved at their new camera, one that Harry now manned, taking in Draco’s new hobby in stride.

“I had planned an intro like all the rest of them do but that’s so boring. Over here we’re better than everyone else. So I said fuck it and tossed it away. Let’s just get to the good stuff. You’ll never guess what Harry did yesterday. It was so embarrassing.”

“Do you have to embarrass me to so many people?”

Draco grinned, nose scrunching at Harry’s glare. He knew his followers wanted to see Harry, but Harry didn’t want to be in the little tellies like that. Plus, Draco kind of liked that it was just him.

“What do you mean?” Draco blinked, adopting an innocent expression that had stopped working on Dobby when he was three. “I’m just telling my friends.”

“Yeah,” Harry snorted, eyes on the subscriber count that was rapidly increasing. “All 3 million of them.”

It still blew his mind that so many people wanted to hear him talk about his life. He had known from the beginning that he could pull it off. Had always known he had more charm than everyone else on the internet. His little tellies were clearly superior.

And to think it all stemmed from his love of Harry.

-----

This is a story for @rieraclaelin who I know has been having issues reading fic lately so please don't feel like you have to read this at all. I just wanted there to be a gift for you whenever you do feel like readings stories. I adore you!

[robininthelabyrinth]

Cultivated-to-Immortality post-canon where cultivation in modern day is mostly mysterious and many doubt it's real - and then WWX gets a cooking show...

“I’m going to murder him,” Jiang Cheng said blankly.

He wasn’t even angry or frustrated or any of the things he normally was when he said something like that. That would require actually reacting to -

What he just saw.

With his own eyes.

For real.

“You can’t do that,” Nie Huaisang said from where he was curled into a tiny little ball on their on-the-verge-of-breaking-down couch – modern things were really crap. The thing couldn’t be older than what, thirty or forty years, and it was already useless, and Nie Huaisang wasn’t helping matters by crying tears of laughter into the worn-out cushions like he was right now. “He’s immortal, remember? We’re all immortal.”

“Immortal in the sense that we won’t die of old age,” Jiang Cheng said. “I can still kill him.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I wouldn’t,” Jiang Cheng admitted. He was pretty sure they’d established that back in Wei Wuxian’s first life, forget his subsequent resurrection or when they all unexpectedly achieved immortality. “But I could definitely break his legs. He’d heal from that quick enough.”

“The day you break his legs will be the same day you do it to Jin Ling,” Nie Huaisang said wisely. “And I know you wouldn’t do that to our beloved junior squad.”

“You really need to stop calling them juniors, they’re all married with children and grandchildren a half-dozen times over already, and anyway stop getting away from the main point, which is this – this – this travesty.”

“It’s not a travesty,” Nie Huaisang said, pretending towards solemnity. Jiang Cheng didn’t know why he bothered, it wasn’t like they hadn’t spent centuries together by now on account of immortality being a little lonely and them not liking anyone else who’d reached immortality enough to want to spend that sort of time with them. “It’s a cooking show.”

“It can be a cooking show and a travesty! It’s a cooking show run by Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng growled. His stomach hurt just remembering the many times he’d been suckered into trying something because this time I’ve really got it down, I promise, you’ll like it! “Of course it’s a travesty. Did you see the set up he has going on? He has an entire wall of hot peppers!”

“Hmm, good point,” Nie Huaisang said. “You’re right. Something needs to be done about this.”

“I’m glad we agree.”

“I’ll send him some peppers from our garden,” Nie Huaisang decided. “I have that new varietal breed that we’ve been working on, extra hot; he’ll love it.”

“Don’t you dare send him the Zidian pepper without letting me try it first,” Jiang Cheng said pointedly. “It’s mine. He only gets leftovers once I’ve decided it’s complete. Anyway, are you telling me that you don’t think that this - this - this thing is a disgrace?”

They both looked at the screen, where the words ‘CHEF CULTIVATOR’ had appeared in large letters.

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “I rather like the conceit of it – the mysterious food-obsessed Chairman kidnapping the heirs of the various cultivation clans...it’s all very historically accurate, at least?”

“One, Wen Ruohan wasn’t a Chairman, he was a tyrannical warlord who made all our lives absolutely miserable. Two, if that set is supposed to be the Nightless City, why is it so dark, and what’s with all the lava everywhere? I’m not even going to touch on the rock chair thing that no cultivator who values the state of their ass would ever sit on -”

“I don’t know about that,” Nie Huaisang said, looking down at their shitty couch with a exaggerated thoughtful look.

Jiang Cheng ignored him. He didn’t want to go couch-shopping again. It’d only been a few decades!

“And three,” he said, soldiering on, “I feel the need to point out that the cultivation clans were not named ‘Spicy’, ‘Barbecue’, ‘Vegetarian’, and ‘Expensive Fusion’.”

“But he’s got the coloring right and everything! And it’s really funny to see a chef outfit done up in that awful Jin gold color...”

Jiang Cheng put his head in his hands.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nie Huaisang said, completely unable to resist bursting out in occasional bouts of giggling. “This is exactly like the time the Wen sect forced all of us to attend their indoctrination camp. Exactly like! You’re just misremembering.”

“I’m pretty sure that I’d remember being forced to compete in some sort of absurd cooking competition with mystery ingredients.”

“Would’ve been nice if we had.” At Jiang Cheng’s incredulous expression, Nie Huaisang shrugged. “Better than listening to Wen Chao talk, no?”

“…well, yes,” Jiang Cheng admitted. “Still, the whole thing seems a bit much. Cultivation is now state-regulated - by which we mean mostly banned from public knowledge - and our sects are all shrouded in mystery...this does seem to lower the tone a bit.”

“Like you care about tone.”

Jiang Cheng, who’d declared that he’d stopped giving a fuck sometime around the eleventh century, had to concede that.

“How’d he get the whole thing approved by the government?” he asked instead. “I thought they censored anything to do with modern-day cultivation.”

“I don’t think they’re that concerned about him spilling actual cultivation secrets on his cooking show.”

Jiang Cheng huffed, not wanting to admit that Nie Huaisang had a point. At any rate, the commercials were over and the show was continuing; he had better things to do than listen to Nie Huaisang talk, like watch the television.

After a few moments, his face began to turn purple.

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang said, and buried his face back into the pillows. “Oh no. Oh no.”

“I cannot believe him,” Jiang Cheng said. “I can’t – he can’t –”

“Now, now,” Nie Huaisang said between laughter so hard that he was hiccupping. “Be nice. If Wei Wuxian is the despotic Chef Cultivator and - oh this is terrible - Grandmaster of Demonic Cooking, that is on the hunt for a chef worthy of being his successor by forcing teams to challenge his stable of in-house chefs, it only makes sense that the ‘challenger’ team would be protected by the – by the –”

Jiang Cheng closed his eyes. “Lightly-Braised Lord?”

“That!”

“I would say that I can’t believe Hanguang-jun agreed to this, except he hasn’t said ‘no’ to Wei Wuxian in centuries,” Jiang Cheng said bitterly. There was a reason he refused to live with them. “This is a disgrace.”

“Accurate, though!” Nie Huaisang said, grinning. “That’s a very mild flavor of cooking, very appropriate for Lan Wangji.”

“I think you mean tasteless.”

“I mean, Lan Wangji is that, too, at least when it comes to Wei-xiong”

Jiang Cheng couldn’t exactly say that that was wrong.

They continued watching.

“Oh no,” Nie Huaisang said a few moments later. “The Ghost Pepper General. Poor Wen Ning!”

“It doesn’t fit,” Jiang Cheng said with a sniff. “He has no flavor profile.”

Maybe he was getting more into this than he would be willing to admit.

...he wasn’t going to admit it out loud anyway.

Nie Huaisang sniggered. “I hope Wei-xiong isn’t the judge.”

Jiang Cheng stared at the screen. “I still can’t believe this is actually happening.”

“I love it,” Nie Huaisang said. He was now scrolling on his phone. “The internet agrees with me, apparently. It’s a hit!”

“It figures.”

Their phones gave a chime at the same time, indicating a message on their group chat.

“Huh,” Nie Huaisang said. “That was the notable Chef Cultivator himself.”

“Oh, I bet it was,” Jiang Cheng grumbled, making no move to reach for his own phone. “What does he want? To apologize?”

“No, to offer us walk-on roles in the event he gets renewed for a second season.”

“Absolutely not,” Jiang Cheng said at once. “I refuse to be known as the Sandwich Shengshou or whatever he comes up with.”

Nie Huaisang dissolved into giggles. “Oh no. He would, too!...I wonder what I’d be?”

Jiang Cheng huffed. “You’d be – the Saltshaker. Obviously.”

“Oh noooooooo…”

[charliethomascoxuniverse]

Boardwalk Empire’s’ mystery IRA man Charlie Cox

IRISH CENTRAL  By CAHIR O’DOHERTY (X)

...As the ongoing story of Nucky Thompson, the undisputed ruler of Atlantic City who was equal parts politician and gangster unfolds this season, we’re introduced to a brand new Irish character played by British newcomer Charlie Cox.

Cast as a young and possibly on-the-run former IRA man from Belfast (we’re not going to say if he is for certain, and neither is Cox because that would be considered spoilers) Cox’s new role is the biggest professional boost of his young career – and it may well be thanks to his pal and sometime mentor Robert De Niro (the pair starred together in the romantic fantasy Stardust a few years back).

But as an uppercrust Englishman in an Irish role, the first question is how did he learn the Belfast accent?

“I have friends from Ireland and I mimicked them a little bit to begin with for my first audition,” Cox, 28, tells the Irish Voice from his parents’ home in France (where’s he gone to recover from Boardwalk’s punishing production schedule) this week.

“I also watched The Commitments over a dozen times, and when I got the invite to audition in New York I discovered that the character came from Belfast, so then the pressure was really on.”

Cox did what any enterprising young actor desperate to find a completely different Irish accent in a pinch did -- he Googled the Internet. Eventually, via the iTunes music store, he found a link to a Christian evangelical website made in Belfast and he created his accent in the show based on what he heard.

“From that podcast I found a perfect Belfast accent and I now know more about Jesus than I ever thought I would,” laughs Cox, who in his personal life is a British public school boy with a Catholic background.

“Of course I also researched the kind of life he might have had and the strife he would have known in the Ireland of that period. Believe it or not I also read Angela’s Ashes -- which is a remarkable book -- and I realized how arriving in Atlantic City where literally anything was possible must have blown my character’s mind after the life he had led up to that point. I keep that inner tension and awareness burning all the way through the new season.”

Cox is under a blanket ban from the shows producers not to reveal too much about his character’s personal arc in season two because they don’t want the Internet to light up with spoilers spread by obsessive fans of the show.

“What I can tell you is that he is very concerned with what’s going on in his homeland and that there’s a reason he stays around Atlantic City, although he could conceivably return to Ireland at any time,” Cox offers.

Fans of the epic series may be surprised to know how close to filming time the scripts for Boardwalk Empire actually arrive. If you thought the entire season was written and in the can before the first cameras rolled you’d be quite wrong -- often actors learn their characters fate just a few weeks before they shoot the scene.

“That kind of schedule keeps you fresh as an actor, and it means that you don’t get complacent about what’s going to happen to the person you’re playing. But the whole of acting is the same. You’re just one step away from your next job or your last one and that awareness should stop you from becoming conceited or complacent,” says Cox.

Right now as the final edits of the second season are still being cut, Cox doesn’t know what will happen to the majority of the other characters in the show. With a production this big it’s impossible to keep tabs on everything that’s happening unless you’re the producers or the writers -- and they’re famous for keeping all that information to themselves.

Meanwhile for Cox, the opportunity to act alongside a legendary director like Martin Scorsese and actors like Steve Buscemi is both exhilarating and nerve wracking.

“All actors at some level want to be acknowledged for what they do and I’m no different,” says Cox. “It’s exciting to think that this may lead to other opportunities but I’m not going to get carried away by it.”

“People told me I’d be on easy street back in 2007 with Stardust and that didn’t happen. The fame and fortune thing is nice as far as it goes, but it used to be you got famous because you were talented and that’s not quite the case anymore,” he adds sensibly.

Cox shies away from any further plot scoops into his upcoming season, but he will happily admit that he researched the activities of the IRA unit founded by Michael Collins that was known as The Squad or the Twelve Apostles.

These men, hand picked by Collins himself, acted mainly as assassins and they targeted policemen, collaborators, civil servants, MI5 members and most famously the so-called Cairo Gang (a British intelligence group who had formerly served in the Middle East).

“I was fascinated to learn about the history of that period, and it really brought my character’s own background to life for me,” says Cox.

“Once you start delving into that you get a real sense of the period and the stakes in play. And I have to mention the costumes and sets. They’re so well done and so meticulously researched they do so much of the work for you.”

As a lifelong rugby fan with his own seats at Twickenham, both Cox and his father thought they might have taken the research into Ireland too far when they started cheering the Irish rugby team in its match against Australia recently.

“My dad was suddenly standing up and shouting, ‘Come on Ireland -- I mean England!’ at the television and we both started to laugh at the level of involvement. Maybe this character has taken over our lives.”

~*~

[thesunshinebunny]

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part VII)

 Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: Sometimes, to understand the present, it’s necessary to pay a visit to the past. While reader is in a deep sleep, their unconscious plays a trick on them by reminding the most important and catastrophic moments in their life.

Word Count: 9.1K

Year 847, a very hot and humid day.

First day of training in the 104° squad. Each of the hundreds of soldiers coming into the slaughterhouse gathered in lines, lined up, waiting for our first orders. Announcement of names and locations. Some serious who didn’t need an introduction, other clowns who didn’t take the training seriously. Instead, I...was  waiting with an empty view towards the horizon, not seeing anything or anyone in particular.

First day, call and presentation; some came from cities, some from towns, but none from a filthy wealthy family of nobility, much less royalty. Most of us simple villagers, presented on a silver platter for the aristocracy, entering our graves on our own. Each one would have their reasons, some simpler than others, some more hypocritical than others, and others more selfish than all of us here.

First day, and there were already a couple on the ground and others being severely punished. Like the tall girl with a ponytail who had the brilliant idea to not only steal, but also cook a potato before training and eat it in the middle of line formation. A village girl, a hunter and faithful to her principles and culture; a girl who wasn’t ashamed to show her true colors on the first day, even if it gave her a punishment that would end up lasting for hours, until nightfall. An incredible example for the most stupid, but equally for the bravest. I think it was hearing where did she coming from that something inside me arose like a flower in the middle of spring, or maybe it was hearing her resound every minute around the training ground until the moon rose. I’m not very clear about it. Maybe I wanted to be nice to someone after a long time, and what better way to start with a person who was humiliated on the first day of what would be our next life.

I wasn’t quick enough to bring her something to eat when her punishment ended, a certain very short blonde beat me beforehand, but I was quick to save her a seat next to me the next night, while saving her a portion of bread. I assumed she would like it, and I wasn’t wrong. She devoured every last crumb along with her ration of dubiously sourced food on a metal plate. Hearing her eat with such enthusiasm brought a smile to my face, it reminded me of the little tadpole children who came and went in my town, asking for a piece of bread or an apple, even knowing that they had food at home. Those playful children who wandered through the small market, looking for some candy and returning disappointed at their doors when they hadn’t found any.

"I didn't hear yesterday where you came from"

Sasha, I think that's the name of the girl in front of me. Apparently she was talking when my mind wandered with nostalgia and melancholy. Her eyes were very fixed on mine, and as much as I looked away, I could still feel them penetrating my skull. I guess you can't dodge the past for long, right? At the very least, I tried to be as cautious as possible when giving my answer.

"I come from a village northeast of the wall Maria, far enough away from the wall to be warned of the fall before a titan reached our town"

She played with the poorly made metal spoon on a piece of carrot that came out of the poor soup, already cold, that this place delighted us for the second night in a row. I made me a mental note to go out hunting every now and then if I wanted to have a good meal and not end up anorexic and a failure.

“And what do you do in your village? In mine we are dedicated to hunting, but they’re taking away the land for the cattle” She took a huge bite of his bread, showing how angry she was. I couldn’t blame her, taking the land out of a hunting village was like taking away their essence, a part of their soul.

"We’re dedicated to raising horses and handicrafts" From our town came the fastest horses that the military police could ask for, some of them stayed for the field and keep the children busy.

Beautiful horses dedicated to the gambling of the nobility, others common for the plowing of the agricultural peoples. Horses dedicated to the race for the survey corps; what the government needed, we provided. It would be hypocritical of me to say now that the horse was my least favorite animal. It was not. For me they were the most beautiful, faithful and loyal creatures in this whole little world. My favorite animal without a doubt.

I wanted to talk about the various horses we managed to sell at a high price to the most authoritarian court on the Rose wall, but a noise from behind our table made my jaw drop.

A "Tsk" echoed throughout the dining room.

I turned my head, hoping to find an animal, or anything but a human like us. To my misfortune, I met the withering look of a brunette with bright green eyes, just as bright as those of the forest, and his hand holding the spoon tightly, as if my simple face angered him.

"Do you have a problem, Jaeger?" I remembered him from yesterday. Serious, tall, with a look that could kill you at any moment. Decisive and lethal. At the same time conceited and childish. He had won the ears and admiration of the majority here with well-used words and a touch of drama.

"Yes, I have a problem" his hand let the spoon escape on the plate, causing some drops to fly in all directions "I have a problem with people like you"

He got up from his seat, walking slowly but steadily toward my table, planting himself in front of me. The lap dog as a friend of his following behind him with a decomposed face, one hand half raised, perhaps to stop him if necessary. But let's face it, of the two, Eren was the one with the most strength, it was obvious to the naked eye.

"And what is that due to? Or do you wait for me to get into your little head and find some clue that can help me understand the cockroach you have for a brain?" At no time did I get up, I wasn’t going to lower myself to the same situation as him.

Half of my body had my back to him, so I was looking at him over the shoulder. He may not have liked that, ‘cause he immediately grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, waiting for me to look him in the eye.

"People like you, who come from villages far from the cities, who don’t know the real danger, are a problem" He looked so angry, angry with the world perhaps? I couldn't find an answer to that anger, nor the source of his feelings. But what I did know, was that he wasn't going to let me be trampled on by a fool who knew the world simply by seeing a titan within his short life.

"Excuse me, but you realize that many here come from villages far from the big cities and only very few saw a titan with their own eyes" And it was those same people who began to get up and look at him with bad eyes. The same ones who looked at him with wonder, as if he were an angel fallen from heaven to bring them the news of the world.

I fervently removed his hand from my shoulder and deigned to stand up, trying to gain some ground in this pathetic discussion. I wasn't going to raise my voice like I assumed the boy in front of me was going to do it at any moment, so my body did it instead.

"I don't understand what your complaints are about, but please, oh great Eren, the one who saw a titan bigger than the wall, explain to me" I could notice how his other friend was approaching towards his back, looking at me with caution.  Now, of the group of three, with her I had to be the most careful.

"Are you making fun of me?" he took a dangerous step towards me. 

“’course not” ‘Course yes, but I wasn't going to say it openly.

"People who don’t see the enemy in the face think they can come out of the walls to face it" did my ears hear that correctly? I looked at him as if a third eye had popped out on his forehead.

"Not having seen a titan in my short life doesn’t mean that I cannot go out to fight them"

"And yet you have no fucking idea what you're up against" the conversation was getting more and more heated, his feet were getting closer to mine and I could lightly feel his breath on my skin.

"That doesn't mean you can come and mistreat me" I instantly threw myself back, but ran into the legs of the table. Sasha's hand rested on my shoulder, unable to encourage me with words, but enough emotionally.

"Fucking villagers" he took a step back, turning on his heel and looking, without seeing, or so it seemed, the crowd around him "you don't know what it’s to see a relative of yours being eaten in front of your eyes!"

Ah, that's where so much hatred for the world came from. But I wasn’t his target. He must express his emotions, his anger, towards a common enemy, not towards a comrade who was going to help him in battle. Taking it with me wasn’t going to help him at all, and the fact I was from a small village didn’t mean I was naive and deserved the anger of the citizens. "I'm sorry that happened to you-"

"My mom was eaten in front of my eyes!"

"I'm sorry that happened to your mom! And I'm very sorry that you had to see it with your own eyes, but taking it out on me is not going to help you ”I pushed him back with my words, unfortunately they were not enough to stop his viper tongue.

"You can't know what it feels like to lose your mother like that" he turned his back on me, and before turning to his blond friend, he turned his head over his shoulder, looking at me again with contempt. "Go back to your village with your mommy and cries on her lap for being incapable of shit"

His comment blew me away.

He had left my mind blank and the only thing I managed to do was throw myself back, and sit down heavily on the hard wooden bench. My eyes stared into nothingness, unable to observe the multitude of eyes that settled on me with sadness, some with regret and support. Sasha sat down next to me on the left, while on the right a figure that I didn’t recognize crouched down to look me in the face. All I could make out of him, or her, were those big round blue eyes. A blue that reminded me of the rivers that flowed gracefully near my town. The same water that landed on a larger lake or river, and… perhaps, on the same sea.

"Hey, Eren-" I heard someone yell. From the tone of their voice I thought I distinguish Jean's annoyance.

I didn't have a second to reflect on what I was doing and before I could blink, a plate full of food was flying in the direction of the two boys, impacting on the wooden wall and scattering the pieces of vegetables on the floor and the people who unfortunately was close.

The two boys turned to see where the plate had come from, finding my hand half raised and smeared on the thumb of the cold soup. My body was euphoric, my breath hitched and my chest rose and fell quickly.

"You ... you don't know shit about me, or my family, or my people" I started slowly what would be the best speech I would have given in my 13 years, a speech that would bring me problems, as well as friends. “I’m so sorry about your mother, but in the same way, she was devoured by an enemy of which we still do not know exactly"

I came around the table and approached the brunette, meeting his friend halfway through. Without stopping, I hit her shoulder with mine, pushing my way over her.

"While mine was shot by the people who had to protect her" now my body was a few inches from him, taking Jean away from his side "my mother was killed for the simple fact of wanting to see the sea"

His blond friend, who hadn't been separated from him at any time, widened his eyes, even more than the person who bent down to comfort me. His eyes stared at me in amazement before turning to understanding and sadness.

"Judging by your friend's expression, he understand what I'm talking about" There was little space for me to move calmly, so I chose to get closer and closer to Eren, keeping my face a few inches from his. Even with the slight difference in height, I could manage to have an aura of warning and seriousness.

I raised my hand to his forehead slowly, preventing the girl from earlier from pouncing on me thinking I was going to hit him.

"The military police took her out of my house, placed her to the center of the village and with a pistol in the middle of her forehead" I closed my hand except for two fingers, simulating the muzzle of the rifle, and placed them in the same place as they did it with my mother "they shot her in front of her little child"

I detached my fingers from his forehead and with a "bang" I simulated the same shot that, to this day, continues to haunt me in dreams, after 6 years. My eyes observed his expression, the color had disappeared from his face, he was so pale that it seemed he was going to faint at any moment. There was no longer a trace of his anger towards me or towards the titans; An immature child had been left in front of me, from whom they had taken food for not knowing how to appreciate it.

I walked away carefully, noticing the trembling in my body, in my legs, and took small steps towards the door, leaving everyone who wanted to give me their condolences and emotional support behind.

"You are lucky that your mother was eaten by a spice stranger to her, mine didn’t have the same fate"

*** Weeks passed from that terrible night. The golden trio hadn't deigned to approach me, and for my part I longed for it to stay that way for the next three years. I didn't want people like Eren or his friends to get involved with me, I preferred the company of people like Sasha and Marco, Jean and Connie, as empty-headed as they were. I preferred to spend my free afternoons practicing archery, preventing some stupid from passing through the shooting range or next to the bullseye from getting a head shot.

"Here, I fixed your glove, now you are supposed to be able to put your thumb in without it opening" Marco had his hand extended, grabbing a leather glove, which I’d found in the storage bag of the training set.

The leaders had been very understanding when explaining the training I wanted to follow as free time. Although no faction was going to need a bow and arrow for sure, due to its inefficiency, I had given my point of view that it would end up being useful if an expedition needed more days than predicted and more food and provisions were needed, a bow was going to be of great help when hunting.

"Thanks Marco, you are an angel in this place" I proceeded to put on the worn glove and test its elasticity with the arrow and the bowstring.

"See you at night" and with that, the freckled man marked himself towards the canteen, greeting Jean in the distance who was waiting for him at the door.

The shooting area was not far from the entire training ground, close enough to observe everyone who came and went on the field, everyone who wandered without any direction or aim, and everyone who wanted to train. As well as being close enough to the training area with the movement equipment, equipment that was being used a lot recently by many colleagues in need of balance. One of them turning out to be the annoying brunette with bright green eyes, who was walking very dangerously with his friends on the target at the time I was about to release the arrow.

The small deadly weapon shot out and ended up hitting the red dot in the middle, grazing Eren's neck. He put a hand on his skin and when he saw the arrow stuck on the straw object he turned to look at me angrily.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? That almost hit me in the neck "

"If you saw where you walking you would realize you’re in the shooting zone, if an arrow hits you it’s not my fault" I yelled at him from a distance, preparing a new arrow to launch.

When I saw him take a couple of steps towards me, I stretched the arrow back as a warning, I wasn’t going to laid on a rose’s field while he went back to being a fucking asshole. Armin, I knew his name in these weeks when listening to a conversation he’d with another person, he grabbed his arm while Mikasa put herself as a shield. They both took him away from the target and I was able to shoot the arrow without taking my eyes off them.

I followed them until they positioned themselves on one of the balancing machines, helping Eren onto the equipment. I was about to accommodate a third arrow when I heard a scream coming from his direction. My head spun at the same speed an owl would, given countless hours of practice in the woods, and I watched the last second of Eren's fall, watching in broad daylight as his head hit the stone floor. The blow could be heard from a distance, even where I was located I could hear it as if it’s next to me.

Seeing him lying swaying on the floor, half hanging from the equipment made me burst out laughing. I couldn't stop the laughter from coming out of my mouth seeing him in such bad shape. He was going to have a safe bump and maybe some neurons would end up rearranged. My laughter didn’t go unnoticed, the commander Sheith passed on his way to the shooting area and stood in front of me, looking at me with that serious, expressionless gaze.

"Cadet (Y/S)!" I settled myself as best I could, putting the bow to one side and the arrow on the back sleeve before standing firmly "help young Jaeger heal his wound"

I was puzzled and my face reflected it.

"But, sir, why me?" I begged with my words to let me go, or at least give me a couple of hours of punishment, whatever it was before starting a conversation with that selfish man, much less heal his wound.

"Are you arguing with me, cadet?"

Every movement or prayer that I could make to try to accomplish my task vanished like a leaf in the wind. I lowered my head, avoiding his frivolous gaze and waited for him to leave, snorting. I reluctantly put down the bow and arrow sleeve next to a target and headed towards the three of them, Armin and Mikasa were trying to lift Eren off the floor as they took the equipment off his hips.

"Come on, I have to heal your wound" I didn’t stop to greet them, or to explain the situation. In the same way that I approached, I went towards the canteen, without looking back.

On the short drive I overheard Armin asking about my rare kindness, to which I replied dryly that if it weren't for the commander, I'd be breaking my asshole on the floor by laughing. We walked and walked, me in front and the other two physically stable, keeping the dark-haired boy as best they could, lifting his head so that he wouldn't hit himself again. Upon reaching the canteen stairs I yelled "Sasha, I need a bucket of cold water and a washcloth!"

I opened the door for them and pointed to a table near the kitchen door so they could seat Eren. I warned them to keep his head steady, to keep him from going forward or backward, and to keep him awake at all times.

"I didn't know you knew so much about medicine" Armin pointed out when Sasha came out with the bucket of water and a cloth floating in it.

I let out a slight "hmm" before positioning myself behind Eren, squeezing the hands of the other two and allowing them to let me do my job. I ran his hair back, trying to locate the wound and notice any cuts. Finding none, I proceeded to feel the area, finding the slight bump on the upper side of the forehead. I down the cloth in the cold water, letting it soak, and placed it on his head. The water was so, so cold, it had even made me shivered, but for some reason, Eren didn't seem to be fazed at all.

I didn’t give it much importance and I passed the cloth over the bump, waiting a few seconds for it to deflate a little before going through the sides, preventing the area from becoming inflamed as well. I soaked the cloth again and laid it on the side of his forehead, indicating to Armin to press down and not move his hand while I looked for a handkerchief or some bandage to cover the blow. In the same way, I explained to Mikasa to keep watching Eren, to talk to him, even if he wasn't waiting for an answer, to keep him awake for fear of having an accident in his brain.

I found what looked like a used bandage, quite disgusting for my taste, but I wasn’t going to take much longer of my time for "patient" who didn’t deserve my treatises. I stretched the bandage as far as I could over his head, giving it two full turns before pinning it around the back of his head.

"Try to find a better bandage for the blow" I washed my hands with cold water, hoping to get rid of all the irritation the situation had caused.

"Thank you" Armin sounded really grateful, with a hint of ... sympathy perhaps? With my hands clean, I grabbed the bucket and started to put it back in the kitchen when the blonde asked me again "where did you learn all this?"

I sighed not once, but twice, the kitchen door was open and I was about to enter when I threw a look over my shoulder "everything I know, I learned from my mother's books"

And with that I closed the door behind me a second time to the golden trio.

***

Year 850, a beautiful spring night.

The night before our graduation. A hectic night. Between the well-deserved nutritious food, meat and bread that we have longed for the past three years, and the shouts of encouragement for each of us who were present that night, a great party was put together. Many people defected and others didn’t have the ability to move on. Many were frustrated when they fell short of the top ten, fearing they would be sent to the survey corps, others claimingthey had contacts in the military police and had an assured position. Others fought for their point of view before such faction; and with others I mean the same suicidal brunette. Eren, finishing 5th out of the top ten, undoubtedly deigned to throw me in my face.

"Three years and I'm still better than you, your little village tactics were useless" he smiled wickedly and his eyes showed that characteristic glow when he won a fight. Although there wasn’t a fight here, therefore, there was nothing to be gained.

"Congratulations Eren" I turned around without waiting for an answer and walked briskly towards Marco and Jean, they were both heading towards the boys cabin and I followed them to the entrance, leaving a fuzzy Eren behind.

Now, tonight, with the years of training in the past, it was time to rest, have a night of peace before the real deal began. I never thought it would arrive the next morning.

From my position, far from the main entrance to the Trost district, a thunder crashed into the ground, followed by hot smoke covering our feet. The famous colossal titan stood imposing on the side of the wall, watching my companions who were a few meters from him. From where I was standing, I could see his arm rise and run the guns and the others, burning and blinding them with its smoke.

An calvary that started very early and had no intention of ending soon. Death and dismemberment in every corner, blood flying through the air, comrades being eaten. At each step we take, each turn a building took to dodge a Titan or go after one to kill it, a comrade fell in battle; with each step I took, it was one step closer to my own death. But, call it a miracle, call it divine grace, or simple luck, I managed to reach a roof of one of the many houses destroyed by the attack. From the roof, I could see the disaster more clearly, and I could examine my own disaster with great concern.

The pants were torn in the knee area, the tips of my boots brushed my bare skin and apparently bruised from some friction. I had a blood stain in the abdomen area, apparently from a person who was eaten near me and I didn’t have the dignity to see it. I didn’t have the strength or the courage to unbutton my shirt to see the disaster that surely my body had taken in the hours we were surviving in the city. I had enough of the bruises and cuts on my hands and cheeks thanks to some small rocks flying through the air from the impacts; I didn't need to see if my ribs were in place.

In the distance, perhaps three, four houses in from where I was, were a few comrades sitting on the rooftops of another house. It seemed a few had survived and came together to rest, there weren't many titans in sight and the few there were were wandering around without looking around. Those idiots gave me the chance to jump houses, without looking down. If I looked down I would’ve see the cobblestone streets stained red, I would’ve see limbs scattered right and left. I had a goal in mind and I wasn’t going to lose focus on the death around us.

I landed on the fireplace, hitting both knees when landing, I was running out of gas and it showed. The movement wasn’t being so fluid anymore. I scrambled down the stone wall of the fireplace, landing right next to Armin. My movement gear hit his, jerking my hips and torso on impact, nearly knocking me off the roof. Armin didn't flinch, he was just looking at the tiles, but given his expression, I think he wasn't looking at anything at all. He was just preparing to stare and lose himself in the terrors of his mind.

"Armin, what happened? Ar you alright?" stupid questions. Obviously he wasn’t alright, it was reflected in his empty and dark eyes, but my mind couldn’t process correctly.

It was in automatic mode, only thinking about survival, not the correct questions for each of those who were spread out on two rooftops. Of the many who had graduated, we were reduced to two dozen, maybe a little more without counting those who were in that huge building with the gas parts. Others may have taken refuge in a house, waiting for the right moment to move and reach us. But there was little hope, even if I didn’t say it out loud, unconsciously I knew there wasn’t much to do with the people who were not among us, because after all that was exactly what was happening ... they were not with us, they weren’t in the land of the living.

How pessimistic my thinking, right? I wasn’t wrong at all.

"Armin, where is Eren?" want to know the worst?, I already knew the answer before Armin could lift his head and scream the terrible news with his lungs.

In the end, the boy who so wanted to fight the world, succumbed to the terrors of him.

But what had impacted the most was that, minutes after hearing that news, minutes after arriving at the building for gas supplements and saving the comrades who had barricaded themselves, minutes after being saved by that fighting titan, we saw the same Eren, the same brunet with bright green eyes, appear. Alive.

The surprise we all get when we see him emerge from the nape of that eccentric titan. He was fine, his skin pink and hot from the smoke of the decaying body from his titan. His titan? There was no time to understand the situation. If that, how to understand it? We saw him resurface, like a phoenix, among the ashes of a dying body, fully alive. He had all of his limbs, even the ones that had been eaten; I could see the limits of his pants and the sleeve of his shirt torn, with perfect and huge bite marks.

I stood to the side watching the scene, Armin and Mikasa crying uncontrollably when they saw his heart beat. Scientifically and medically that was impossible. Technically speaking, nothing we were witnessing was possible; And yet there was the suicidal bastard, breathing normally. His eyes closed, his lashes drooping over his lids and his hands being held by his childhood friends. Jean couldn't believe the scene before his eyes, even the other trio was hesitant to say anything, with serious faces and completely stiff eyes at Eren. Each and every one of the reactions present entered what would be a normal reaction, missing one who wanted to kill him immediately.

And I think I rushed a couple of minutes.

***

Days after the expedition to the giant tree forest.

With Annie crystallized and guarded underground, a bit of tranquility arose within the walls; a calm that only attributed to the survey corps. Citizens panicked, not understanding, not comprehending even ten percent of what the latest information was being advertised in newspapers and billboards. The general did everything possible to give us time to resupply and rest from such a hard fight. The patrol had been divided in two, and I had remained as Jean's auxiliary escort, the poor man wanted to vomit all the trip when he had to suffer the terrible order of disguising himself as Eren.

And when the time for action came, we were both prepared to assist Eren in his titan form. I wasn’t still used to seeing him at a height of more than 15 meters, but his characteristics were still there: eyes, now huge, green and shiny, as if that shine never went away, no matter how violent or dark the situation turned upside down, and his dark haired, he looked silkier and smoother in this way that the originally he modeled.

Now we where here, Armin, Mikasa, Jean and I watching him and examining his vital signs. He had fallen into a coma for the second time. I couldn't blame him, I guess controlling a titan of that caliber used up a lot of physical energy, let alone the psychological, but to be honest… mental health had already leaked out the window.Each of us were standing in a corner of the room, sometimes Armin wandered between the door and the window, sitting close to his friend on the bed when he couldn't take it anymore from the anguish. Mikasa always sat next to him, holding his hand at all times, faithfully waiting for him to open his eyes. For my part, I was watching the sun set outside the window, as the sunset gave us its warm rays and prepared us for the cold night.

Every once in a while, whenever I heard a snort or movement coming from the bed, I would turn my head and come closer to feel his breathing. He was stable, and showed no signs of any disturbance. He was completely healthy, except that he was absolutely tired. Like all of us.

There was a couple of knocks on the door, pulling all of us out of trance. Jean and Armin were being needed to give testimony in front a small assembly, before the leaders continued speaking with Commander Erwin.

Silence reigned in the room. Mikasa was still willing to maintain her position in the chair, even if the sleep weakened her with each passing minute. I could see how her eyes were closing and her head fell from fatigue, it was obvious that she needed some rest. I put my hand on her shoulder, pulling the scarf out of her hands and trying to lift her up at the same time.

"Come on, you're very tired, you must get some sleep" I led her to a sofa that was doubtfully placed on the other side of the room. Normally our rooms were only furnished with a couple of beds, a desk and a closet, ah... and a paltry window. We couldn't bother with expensive decorations or furniture like a sofa. Above all, when we didn’t receive a decent salary.

"But Eren ..." I laid her on the few cushions, not very comfortable, brown and beige, that matched the small room. When her head touched the doubtful softness of the pillows her eyes closed completely and her breathing became calm, it was a matter of seconds before she fell completely asleep.

"I'm going to take care of him, you rest" I adjusted her hair before noticing she had entered the realm of dreams. Apparently my words were enough to give her that peace of mind to go to sleep.

I knelt to remove her boots and set her feet on the lap of the sofa. Notice her legs stained with dirt, I'd bet she'd have a couple of bruises around her knees and ankles, maybe even her feet. My body was moving heavily as I searched for a blanket among the few scraps of cloth lying in the closet. In the end, I ended up finding one a bit small for her body, but it perfectly covered her torso and stomach, that way she wouldn't take cold while she was in her defenseless state.

I wanted to look out the window again, but there was nothing to observe that I hadn’t seen before, a sad and dull orange sky. I settled into the chair, feeling that I was usurping Mikasa's place for some strange reason, and I kept analyzing the young man lying on the bed. His hair was matted and a bit dirty, a shower every now and then wouldn't hurt, although he smelled conveniently well, like freshly cut wood or dry grass. A scent that, while I was destined to smell more than necessary thanks to the expeditions, I felt no discomfort smelling it on Eren. It fit him very well indeed. I might even get used to being around him if it meant smelling such a sweet scent.

Seconds that seemed like minutes, and minutes that seemed like hours. Time seemed to play against me and I felt like my body began to weigh me more and more, and more, until I fell forward and lay my face on the hard mattress and the soft fabric of the sheet. Second-rate cotton, if you would let me say so, but it did the job. It was comfortable, too comfortable, enough to let me rest for a moment and close my eyes, making time flow more quickly.

I felt a hand gently rest on my head, moving and caressing me with a tenderness I hadn't felt in years. I opened my eyes immediately expecting to find my father in front of my eyes, but instead, I spotted a still asleep Eren, scratching himself and trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

I pulled his hand out of my head quickly, but without being rude, and laid them on the bed. I rubbed my eyes and gave him a half smile "Good morning sleeping beauty"

It took a few seconds for his eyes to get used to the little light that filtered through the window and when they opened they surveyed the entire room, still drowsy.

"Where is Mikasa? Armin? " he coughed after feeling a little hawking in his throat.

I stretched out on the chair, accommodating the bones of my back and immediately moved to the side, letting him see a sleeping Mikasa, comfortable and warm under a blanket. Eren inspected her, perhaps trying to find any signs of injury or complaints, but finding none he turned his gaze from her to me.

"Mikasa is asleep" I settled back on the chair, this time stretching forward a bit and resting my elbows on the bed, holding my head on my hands "Armin and Jean had to go to give their testimony for the paperwork"

Ere didn't say anything, he just nodded and gave me a brief "hmm" before looking out the window. "How do you feel?" was the last thing I said before the room fell silent again and neither he nor I deigned to say anything else.

Years of hating each other weren't going to go away, just like that. It was going to be a long road now that we were in a much worse mess than when we were 13 years old. But at least, we could talk to each other without the need to jump on each other's jugular, that's progress, right?

***

Why couldn't this bastard have a little sense of preserving of his life? Why wasn't he a little more careful, and since we are, a little more common sense? Why couldn't he stay calm for a few seconds, analyze the situation and act according to his surroundings?

Now we had to do a search party to find the damned "last hope of mankind". Galloping as fast as the horses would allow us, avoiding on all sides dozens of titans, even when one fell, five more came out. It was an order that had become more and more dangerous. And to make matters worse, having to be behind two of the most dangerous titans we could have encountered was a suicide mission and most of us knew it. We were giving it our all for an idiot, who I don't think he knew the value of the lives that were being lost in battle.

Sighted in the distance, ranks breaking and each one trying to survive while we tried to have enough time to rescue him from the armored titan, large numbers of soldiers were being eaten or crushed. You know the terror I had in my eyes to see Captain Erwin being bitten on the arm and dragged towards God knows where? If a great man like him could be defeated so easily in the blink of an eye, what was in store for us? What was in store for me?

I kept galloping, begging Phillip to keep going as fast as he could, that he never stop and be careful of everything in his path. I was so scared that I didn't know exactly to who I was saying it, the horse or myself. For sure, I knew the horse wouldn’t understand me perfectly, but he was the only thing that I could grab to at that moment, the only one that could save me.

Both left and right, titans ran everywhere, the boys had managed to reach the battleship while the others did what they could to give them time, seeing Ymir was also a sight worthy of admiration if it wasn’t because I was givind my life at this moment. And surely she was helping the blonde of "girlfriend" instead of us.

In that sway between giant bodies and tiny soldiers, the ground rumbled, the earth fell away, even trees fell at our feet. When trying to reach Mikasa before she fell, a titan came out of nowhere in front of me, trying to dodge it would be a feat, especially when he had his immense mouth pointing almost completely in my direction. I will never be able to thank the soldier who cut his neck, for seconds later to be grabbed by another titan and break his spine in such a grip. With the body decomposing and the other titan out of focus, I was able to move on, circling the smoking mass, ready to support Mikasa when another mass fell very close to me, causing the horse to jump from the force of the impact. In that second of distraction I turned my head to look at what had fallen, the ground began to crack under Phillip's legs and it only took a footfall from the armor titan to completely break apart and pieces of earth and stone came out, shotting everywhere.

As I turned my head back forward, I saw clearly how a stone flew directly towards my head. Call it reflections, call it having a guardian angel on my shoulders, but I was able to move my head in time, causing the stone to impact the gap between my shoulder and neck. I shot backward, hitting my head against the hard ground. I felt my shoulder dislocate and I noticed how by leaps and bounds the shirt, previously white, was staining with blood, as well as the jacket and the floor. My head was probably bleeding from the back as well, but the pain in my shoulder kept me from focusing on anything else. It was impossible to move it, I tried to scream for help, but my words stuck in my throat, and even if I had been able to scream, it would have been overshadowed by the hundreds more screams that were begging for help. The grass around me felt a bit comforting, like a cold hug in the last minutes of life. Body pain prevented me from reacting to the sight of a five-meter titan approaching where I was lying. Tears began to flow, falling down my cheeks; I wanted to scream, say my last goodbye, but I was so petrified that I just closed my eyes.

If I was going to die, I would rather die without seeing the horrible face of that damned titan. I preferred to have the image of my family in mind one last time. The ground began to rumble, I thought more titans were going to come for me, that I was going to be smashed into pieces, but the longer it took to feel the huge hand or a pair of teeth, I opened my eyes, finding myself, not a pack of hungry titans, but with the clear evening sky.

I raised my head and to my surprise, a bizarre surprise, all the titans that were chasing us at the time, were now going towards one of the highest. I couldn't understand what was happening, I looked around trying to find someone, to see if someone else was seeing the same thing as me. In the distance I found Armin holding a figure, I couldn't quite see who, trying to breathe normally and stand up. I tried calling out to him, but my vision started to blur and it made me dizzy from trying to lift my head even higher. I brought my hand to my head and confirmed the blood that flowed behind it, I was completely soaked in my own blood and at any moment I would end up fainting if I didn't treat my wounds.

The grinding of a horse brought me back to a state of consciousness, Phillip was back next to me and he lowered his head towards my good shoulder, pushing it up and lifting me little by little. Standing back on both feet, I leaned on his stomach and in an attempt to walk towards Armin I heard Eren's terrified scream in the distance.

Both he and Mikasa were looking at the scene without understanding anything at all, and what bothered me the most was that those stupid were still sitting on the ground, without any intention of moving. As I could, I got on the horse's lap, lying on my stomach, both arms hanging at the side, and I told him to run as fast as possible towards the two figures in the most dangerous area that could be at that moment.

"Stop looking and start moving!" I yelled at them a few feet away. They both turned their heads in my direction, wanting to say something, but only managed to gasp a few times before I arrived.

I grabbed the collar of Eren's shirt and with what little strength I had left, I lifted him off the ground "NO TIME TO TALK, LET'S GO"

Seeing Mikasa being picked up by Eren and placed on his back, I indicated to Phillip to leave the area, to try to get to safety, along with the other soldiers. At our side ran the couple of stupid who almost devoured, wondering what had happened. Their words sounded more and more distant and the ride put me in a calm trance until I was unconscious.

***

Year 851, a beautiful summer day to go horseback riding without the hassle of a titan in the area. At the same time, a beautiful day to visit the forgotten and destroyed towns.

We took our time, observing the landscape. Trees that had fallen and left their tracks on the ground and on the trunk were beginning to show traces of vegetation in their wood. The grass crushed by large feet was beginning to heal and new shoots were coming to the surface, some flower buds could also be seen. The few stone paths were smashed, small cobblestones were smashed, and there was no possibility of repair unless they were remade. Today was the day; the day it was my village's turn to be toured. We leave early to the northwest, guiding us along the river, me in the lead. The night before I hadn’t been able to sleep, to close an eye, I was nervous, very nervous, I couldn’t even eat anything for breakfast. After four years, I returned to my home, or what was left of it.

Endless nights I dreamed of returning to my small village, touring the oldest houses and greeting its inhabitants, seeing the children run, now older, and helping them take an apple from the market. I dreamed of reassembling one of our horses, of stroking and caressing them, earning me one, perhaps two licks to the face. But what I most dreamed of was to see my father's face again, to see his eyes full of dark circles and sadness at having lost his wife, the woman he loved the most in the whole world; I wanted to hold hid hands again, see them splintered after carving a piece of wood and turning it into a beautiful work of art. I wanted to lie down by the communal fire, hear stories from the elderly, shameful stories, and love stories. I wanted to be able to repeat my childhood years, to see my mother one last time, to be able to say goodbye properly.

I wished my village had been intact, but at the entrance my heart shattered. There were no standing houses in sight, all had sagging roofs, broken windows, and dried blood marks from years painting the walls.

I got off the horse looking at the damage and I was leading him forward by the mooring. Slowly, being careful not to trip over any stone, I entered the town more and more, seeing the withered flowers and their dried petals lying on the floor. Children's cloth toys, a odd wooden horse broken in half. Some walls were burned, others full of holes, the clothes hanging outside the houses torn into pieces, the stable reduced to nothing. The center, where the market normally took place, full of rubble and garbage, on the left a path of dried blood, on the right as well. I approached a stall that had not been completed, a fruit and vegetable stall, now reduced to nothingness itself. I picked up the chunk of splintered wood and found underneath what scared me the most. An arm.

I didn't know who it was exactly, the clothes were almost the same for everyone, but I assumed it was a man's; It was in the process of decomposition, pieces of meat were half detached. Beside him, a porcelain doll broken on its head, its brown curls discarded, and only dirt and fiber remained. I picked it up with both hands and kept walking in the direction… in which direction? I couldn’t tell. Only my body was on autopilot looking around me for a sign, the slightest hope that someone had survived. But one look at the stables from the beginning was the only thing that put my hopes in the trash: there were pieces of horses lying all over the ground. Not even our pride had survived. My feet stopped walking, dragging on the ground, and stopped in front of the house that saddened me the most. Mine.

Of all, this was the one in the best condition, part of the roof had fallen to the side, not on the house, and a hole led directly to the living room. The walls were completely burned, not from the destruction of a horde of titans, no. Those burns were from years before, produced by the military police. Seeing that wreck brought me the vile memory of the day of her execution. The people were scared, they implored not to kill her, but those brutes turned a deaf ear and executed her without mercy. My mother was a very dear woman to everyone and no one denied her dreams of leaving the walls, my father loved her more than anyone ... but that love of his was not enough to save her.

"(Y / N)?" I heard Eren's voice behind me.

His voice echoed in my ears, but I couldn't fully register it, I was just looking straight ahead, towards the hole in my house, looking from the outside for fear of entering. "These were the borders of my life"

I took a step forward, then another, and then another, until I collided with the first stones of the house. From that place I could see how the fire from a small oil lamp had fallen on the floor and burned part of my father's favorite armchair. I took another step, fully entering what was left of my old home. I ran my hand over the dry, scratchy fabric, dust had collected over the weeks, maybe years. Given how advanced the bloodstains were, I couldn't exactly calculate the time that had elapsed. In front of the chair was still a small desk full of sheets, most of them ruined by rubble, but some survived. Some of these had broken tips, other were left with black spots, and others were flawless, as if they had been made yesterday. Beautiful drawings of people, others of nature, others of birds or city buildings.

I kept looking for more sheets, running those that were hopelessly damaged, and under my foot I came across a paper somewhat harder and thicker than the others, even framed. The glass was broken but it revealed perfectly a small family, a man, his wife and their child. "In this dusty and destroy little house, where an artist love his wife"

I took the drawing with me, holding it tight with both hands, until I reached the only standing door in the house. The door leading to the master bedroom. I stood there for a couple of seconds, wondering if it was right for my sanity, if it was right for my conscience to open it up and find whatever was on the other side. I inhaled and exhaled a couple of times before sliding the door open. Next to the bed, on the side where my mother used to sleep, was my father's top. I wasn't brave enough to turn around and see his face. I closed my eyes when I saw the scene and left what was left of the facade with my head lowered. "The house of my childhood is gone"

***

A couple of days after hitting the ocean.

We had settled next to the shore. Jean, Sasha and Connie were playing with the small waves that were breaking in the sand, Armin was inspecting small seashells and Mikasa was dedicated to dipping her feet in the cold water. We had made a small fire to cover ourselves from the cold of the coming night. Eren and I were in front of that same fire. He watched as the small sparks flew over the small sea of ​​flames until they exploded and died in the blink of an eye. Some fell into the sand before exploding, others continued to rise until they rose higher and became part of the beginning of the starry sky.

My feet were barefoot in the sand, letting the little grains get between my toes and tickle every time I twisted them. I dropped my head on Eren's shoulder, giving me the chance to close my eyes and reopen them after a few seconds, admiring the sea towards the horizon.

After so many calamities, after so many deaths and losses, a moment of quiet was more than necessary. Maybe being this close to the bright green-eyed brunette wasn't so bad after all.

I could get used to this.

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[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

Chapter Two of See You in the Morning Time

The third in a Rafael Barba/Reader/Frederick Chilton threesome verse written in collaboration with @pascalispretty . Gif by @mrsrafaelbarba . Yep. We did this. Was it necessary? No. Did we enjoy it? Sometimes. Are you going to read it? I sure hope you do and that you like it! Cross posted to ao3!

Part Three of the series So Much Easier than You Realize

Chapter One: A Different Feeling Entirely Chapter Two: Show Me the New

Warnings: Frederick being an anxious (and sad. and repressed) little weenie, discussions of period typical homophobia, bi panic, completely invented backstory (you got on this ride folks lol), Rafael being surprisingly supportive, cuddling, and of course a little bit of teasing Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 2293 Summary: It's not often that Fred instigates anything with Rafael except an argument.

It’s late by the time Fred and Rafael finally make their way to bed. They shower and put pajamas on while waiting for the food to arrive and once they eat, they finish the bottle of wine that Fred had opened earlier and spend the rest of the evening chatting and watching some dumb movie on TV.

Lying in Fred’s bed in his borrowed clothes, Rafael can’t help but smile to himself. After weeks of skittishness from Fred he had finally made it past some of the walls that the doctor had put up. Fred curled close to Rafael while they watched the movie, dragging a blanket over the two of them and cozying up entirely unprompted.

When Fred comes out of the bathroom and flicks the lights off, he’s even more pleased that Fred doesn’t seem to hesitate to lie close to him in bed or reach out for his hand.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” Rafael murmurs, to break the silence more than anything. He hears Fred scoff.

“I was hardly going to kick you out as soon as we were done.” As best as he can, Rafael turns on his side trying to make Fred out in the darkness of the room.

“I know. I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel.” He’s not at his most eloquent or subtle, but he wants to acknowledge what happened between them. “You were… hesitant at first and I just want to make sure you didn’t feel like you had to do this. As of a few days ago you were still pretty clear that you were not comfortable with the two of us having sex.”

Rafael doesn’t want to force a confidence, but he feels like he has to make sure. He’s coming to care too deeply about the arrogant chronically awkward man next to him to just let this go with vague assurances. He hears Fred shift onto his back and wants nothing more than to drag him into his arms and kiss his stupid, conceited face, but he holds himself still and waits for Fred to answer him, giving him the space he clearly wants.

“This wasn’t as sudden as you think it was,” Fred assures him eventually, face still pointed at the ceiling. “I’ve been thinking about this since, you know, that first time.” Rafael can practically feel Fred’s blush from his side of the bed and grins. “And my reticence was never about you, you know that, yes?”

Rafael nods, realizes Fred probably can’t see him, and clears his throat.

“Yeah, I figured as much. I am, after all, a damn catch.”

Rafael yelps as Fred reaches out, faster than he thought was possible for a well-fed psychiatrist who sits behind a desk all day, and smacks him on the chest.

They’re quiet for a few minutes, together in the dark cocoon of Fred’s bedroom, before Rafael sighs. He can’t help but notice the similarities between the blank peacefulness of Fred’s minimalist design and the deliberately organized calm of a therapist’s office and wonders if he did that on purpose. Maybe it’s a natural inclination, he muses idly. It invites honesty. The sharing of secrets.

“I’m only eighteen months younger than Benn, you know,” Fred says eventually, and it’s so unexpected that Rafael finds himself frowning a little in confusion. “All the way through school, I was Bennett Chilton’s younger brother; just the little brother of the handsome quarterback that everyone adored.” Rafael has seen photos of Bennett, tall and painfully handsome. He can see that it might have been hard to grow up in that shadow.

“He came out when he was sixteen, and I was fourteen. And I’m sure you can imagine what that was like at an all-boys Catholic school in Virginia in the eighties.” Rafael winces in the dark. He remembers well enough the attitudes in his own high school, in marginally more liberal New York. He can’t imagine what it must have been like in a place without a visible community to look up to.

“People were mostly smart enough not to say anything to Benn’s face--he was a six foot two starter who never backed down from a fight, they would have had to have been stupid--and our parents were supportive. But the things people said about him behind his back--” Fred shudders, an involuntary shiver that makes Rafael want to wrap his arms around him and never let go.

Instead, he just squeezes Fred’s hand reassuringly and waits for him to continue. For someone who has trouble shutting up at the very best of times--staying silent isn’t Rafael’s forte--he is doing an admirable job tonight. His desire to prove he’s worthy of this unexpected vulnerability from Fred is more than enough to keep him quiet. Rafael is desperate to know more, to know everything about Fred; about what makes him tick, about why he was so reticent, so reserved, when clearly this is something that he enjoys.

“It was awful. The kind of things you never want to hear about somebody you love. And I was hardly in any position to be giving out bloody noses or black eyes whenever someone called him a fag, or made some crack about AIDS.” Rafael shifts slightly nearer, still not saying anything. He smiles to himself when he feels one of Fred’s hands reach up to rest on Rafael’s hip.

“I was a short, scrawny child--I spent a lot of time in the hospital and home sick--and I couldn’t afford to give the other boys in my school one more reason to pick on me so I just… didn’t say anything. I’m not proud of it, but it’s not like Benn had any trouble sticking up for himself. I doubt he would have appreciated anyone stealing his opportunity to get into one more fight anyways.”

Rafael covers the hand Fred has on his hip with his own, deciding now is not the time to joke that he can’t ever imagine Fred as scrawny. Fred clears his throat again and continues in the same calm, rehearsed manner. Like this is something that he witnessed happening to someone else.

“It wasn’t long after that that I had my own month of absolute pure terror and confusion. It was one of Bennett’s teammates from the swim team that actually sent me over the edge. His name was Bobby and he was gorgeous. He had never made any jokes about Bennett, never joked about changing somewhere else in the locker room. He was a little stupid, I can admit that now, but back then I thought he was perfect. I worshipped my brother and this pretty boy clearly did the same.

“Well, I was horrified. Up until then I had been fully and completely in love with a girl I had known practically since infancy. Was all of that a lie? Was being gay genetic? Was Billy going to go through the same thing? It took me a whole month before I had the guts to ask Bennett and I nearly stabbed him with our father’s letter opener when he laughed at me.”

Rafael winces again, knowing how touchy Fred is now, a grown adult well-respected in his professional field and still a little obsessed with slights, perceived and real. Fred huffs, forcing any trace of bitterness out of his voice.

“He told me that you can like girls and boys at the same time and that I should go see if I still liked jerking off to pictures of Jennifer Connolly.” Rafael isn’t able to suppress his snort.

“I always liked Carrie Fisher,” he tells Fred, smiling over at him.

“You would, you pervert,” Fred shoots back. “Probably loved that bikini, didn’t you?”

“I think I’ll plead the Fifth on that one.”

Fred shakes his head and sighs deeply.

“Well, naturally, that was enough humiliation for me for one afternoon and so I threw a throw pillow at him and bolted for my room.”

“Did you jerk off to Jennifer Connolly?”

“Rafael, I can still kick you out of this apartment.”

“Sorry.” Rafael is silent for all of twelve seconds before he asks again, “Come on Fred, I’ve got to know; did you?”

“...Maybe,” Fred reluctantly admits. Rafael laughs and squeezes his hand.

“Moving on from your prurient obsession with my teenaged masturbatory life,” Fred says pointedly, managing to sound arch, offended, and haughty all at the same time. “I contemplated for a while what Benn had told me. A long time actually--that percolated in my brain all throughout the rest of high school. I only ever dated girls, I ignored it completely every time I was even remotely attracted to another boy, but I kept thinking about that. Not only did I have a lifelong conviction that if Bennett said it it must be so, but it just sort of felt right, you know?”

Rafael nods, remembering a similar feeling he had when he was younger. Despite what the other boys in his neighborhood said about “queers”, despite what the Church said, and despite what he knew his father would do to him if he heard Rafael’s thoughts, he was what he was and that was that. Fuck anyone who said different, he remembered thinking. It’s not like he could change it, even if he wanted to.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he answers when it’s clear that Fred requires some encouragement to continue. Fred twines his fingers with Rafael’s before carrying on.

“I lived with Benn in college. Our father bought him an apartment in Cambridge the day he got his acceptance letter from Harvard, and it only seemed logical that I’d move in once I got accepted too. And, I don’t know. It was a little easier there.” Rafael thinks he grimaces, but it’s hard to tell in the dark.

“It has been a while though, since I’ve indulged. And I've never participated frequently.” Every word seems like it’s forced out of Fred’s mouth.

“All this to say, Rafael,” Fred murmurs, inching closer across the sheets, “Is that the problem was never you.”

Rafael gathers him into his arms this time. Fred goes willingly, releasing a heavy, shaky breath and clearly relieved to not be talking about this anymore.

“I know,” Rafael reassures him. “I know it wasn’t me. I was just… I don’t know. I was worried.” He smiles, giving Fred another squeeze. “You’re a delicate little flower Freddie, I want to make sure I don’t trample all over you.”

“Get out of this bed this instant.”

Rafael laughs and they settle down to sleep.

***

The three of them celebrate in Rafael’s tiny Brooklyn apartment when Fred returns from Baltimore. He insists that he wants to cook and, though he had his doubts about his equally minuscule kitchen, manages to turn out an incredible ropa vieja. His mother would be proud.

When the empty plates are discarded on his coffee table, stacked haphazardly and waiting to eventually be washed by whoever loses the inevitable game of ‘who had the harder day’, Rafael sinks back into the couch and smiles benignly basking in the praise of the two of them and their company. Four days is starting to become too long to go between times when they’re all together and though he wants to frown at the unpleasant feeling of missing the both of them when they aren’t around he loves it a little bit as well. Every other wandering thought was of the two of them and he can’t deny that it's nice to feel these first desperate stirrings of a relationship again.

“I don’t know how you made all of that, Rafael. I’m pretty sure my cousin Caroline had a bigger kitchen in her dollhouse.” Fred surprises him when he leans closer to Rafael, snuggling contentedly against him. Rafael had told the third of their little trio that he and Fred had finally slept together--hiding things in a threesome was the quickest way to hurt feelings. Everyone was going to eventually do things without everyone involved and it’s best to just let that out in the open--but he hadn’t expected Fred to offer such casual affection so freely.

Rafael catches her looking at the two of them with a soft smile on her face and returns it with one of his own. She hid it well but she was a little disappointed during their FaceTime when he had warned her that Fred might not be overly demonstrative yet. Rafael knew she felt a little--guilty wasn’t the word she would use, he knew, if he could ever get her to talk about it--uncomfortable about how much more open Fred was with her than he was with Rafael. He loves how hard she tries to remind him that Fred is just anxious, cautious, a little scared. Rafael is a grown man and doesn’t need his hand held, but the fact that she tries to anyways makes his heart feel like it’s growing through his ribcage sometimes.

When Rafael looks back down at Fred he looks like he’s about to fall asleep with his head nuzzled against Rafael’s shoulder. He would describe it as endearing until Fred moves one of his hands high onto Rafael’s thigh. Rafael smirks.

“All it took was one night and he’s already falling for me,” he says to her in a stage whisper. Fred is unfortunately still awake enough to jab Rafael in the ribs, settling down only after the air is knocked out of Rafael’s lungs with an “oof”.

“As long as you remember to invite me to the wedding,” she teases. Rafael watches her duck admirably as Fred throws a cushion at her head.

“You’re supposed to throw a bouquet at me, not a pillow!”

[qaanngi]

2, 8, 12 c:

aww, thank you Anon. I don’t get asks so this is very sweet of you <3

I’ll put this under cut bc it does get long when I add pictures.

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

honestly I love majority if not all the pieces I do, and I’m not being conceited, I genuinely enjoy the entire process of making all of them. From brainstorming to research (love research the most probably), to sketching and details and linework. Flats are a bit tedious, but choosing colours and figuring out my palettes is fun and important. I love the whole process, and I always try to do something new and different to challenge myself every time I do digital work. Even if the end result isn’t what I pictured I walk away with knowing how to do something new.

IkeVamp zine pieces were just some work where I think I was at the peak of my game, and I love all 3 pieces bc they’re very different. The research was so much fun, and they marked a shift in my style where the entire piece became important, not just the subjects in it.

I had a breakdown sometime February 2021 but never underestimate the power of a ship bc Xiaolumi got me back into drawing as intensely as I had prior with an emphasis on learning how to draw backgrounds. i had a ton of fun drawing Wangshu Inn, which is my favourite location in Genshin.

2022′s LNY/Lantern Rite piece had me making subfolders for my lineart and was the most. I love it.

I’m honestly still really emotionally attached to even my early work in MysMe too, but top 5 is probably these. Honourable mention to my Vincent birthday piece bc I did try to emulate his style and it was an enormous amount of fun, Napoleon’s extremely late birthday piece that was a reinterpretation of one of his portraits, the entire Sengoku x Cyberpunk series, and my upcoming Lumine x Paolo Sebastian’s The Nutcracker series.

8. What do you like most about your own work? 

That I always have a background, and at this point every time I come up with an idea, the setting is just as important as the characters in it. Any time I don’t have one I feel uncomfortable.

I relish the challenge in drawing new things. My favourite part about my digital art escapades is figuring out how to do something new and doing it, and backgrounds give me the opportunity to add any number of new things as well as work on my perspective.

12. Show your favourite drawing from this year.

I’m sharing this one twice bc I love it that much.

[adrinoir]

Who will be the next Hawk Moth?

Alright, well there’s a lot of different theories on who will be “the next Hawk Moth”. So I wanted to do a break down on some possibilities (warning: this analysis is REALLY long lol)

Lila

I feel like Lila is very likely to be the next one. She already has a leg up in working with Gabriel (despite not knowing he’s Hawk Moth).

Even though Hawk Moth hasn’t reached his goal of getting Ladybug and Cat Noir’s miraculouses, he’s made good progress. With Lila’s help, he’s gotten PRETTY damn close to getting them since she has that deep hatred of Ladybug. Without her, he wouldn’t have had his invasion of scarlet moths possessing Paris.

Additionally, Lila is pretty full of herself and does just about everything for her own benefit. She could easily grow a bigger hatred towards Ladybug and find out about the benefits of their miraculouses to have her own wish granted.

It’s really difficult to see her as a redeemable character since she has yet to show any redeemable qualities. But, hey, maybe there will be a plot twist where she’ll change her ways.

Chloe

As much as I’d LOVE to see Chloe develop into a better person since we see she is the way she is, I don’t have too much faith in Thomas Astruc’s writing.

Thomas initially started Chloe off as the annoying and conceited bully, then she started seeing the error of her ways, and finally...she was pulled back to square one.

It’s obvious that Chloe is pretty strong. She knows Hawk Moth is evil and has fought off an akuma even when she was super angry with Ladybug. However, Hawk Moth IS a rather powerful man and was able to akumatize Chloe on many occasions. She became his most successful akumatized victim as Miracle Queen. I feel like the fandom doesn’t talk enough about how Chloe managed to get almost ALL the miraculous holders to reveal their identities. (Don’t come for Hawk Moth in saying he hasn’t made a lot of progress - he HAS.)

The main issue with Chloe is that she can easily be manipulated into doing things for Hawk Moth because she has that disliking for Ladybug, deep down. She doesn’t want to hate Ladybug but obviously it’s been tough since she won’t let Chloe have her bee miraculous, and being Queen Bee is very important to her. Chloe wants to be powerful and heroic to feel good about herself since her mom doesn’t see her as something special (which is awful, I feel so bad for Chloe, honestly.)

Even though the likelihood is there, I really don’t want Chloe to become the next Hawk Moth. In season 4, it’d be nice to see some of her character development come back, and hopefully her and her mom build a stronger relationship now that Audrey has decided to stay in Paris with the family. Thomas Astruc needs to make Chloe better but KEEP it that way. She’s shown redeemable qualities and we know why she acts the way that she does. There’s a ridiculous amount of potential for her to be a wonderful, well-rounded character instead of just the evil bully Thomas makes her out to be.

Felix

So far, we’ve only seen Felix in one episode, but we already have a good idea of what he’s like. He’s very manipulative as a form of coping with his father’s death.

Felix already has a bit of a vendetta against Gabriel for keeping Emilie’s family heirlooms, and managed to steal them from Gabriel. He also wasn’t very nice to Adrien in pretending to be him and attempting to hurt his friendships. All of those things Felix did just prove he’d make a *good* villain.

My theory is that he’ll come back for at least one more episode, since he took the wedding rings that were very precious to Gabriel. However, it’s kind of strange to me that Felix hasn’t even been mentioned since his debut episode. So, we will see if this devilish boy makes a comeback.

Adrien

People have had this theory a while back, but it’s just incredibly unlikely at this point.

Adrien cares deeply about his mom and wants her back, of course. However, we see in Cat Blanc that he tried to cataclysm his own father for what he’s done. He was so hurt by his father’s motives, he triggered the end of the world.

There could potentially be an episode where Adrien hears his father out and tries the butterfly miraculous out for himself, but Bunnyx would come out of her burrow and shut that shit down.

OR, we know Gabriel is an awful father and he could somehow manipulate his own son to take his spot as Hawk Moth. (But again, Bunnyx could easily shut this down, too.)

Adrien loves being Cat Noir; he’s shown to be the Cat Noir in the future. He has an extremely good heart. So they’ve pretty much denied Adrien becoming the new Hawk Moth, at this point.

Luka

I think this is the most interesting idea I’ve seen on who the next Hawk Moth will be. (I recommend watching Cat Blanc x Princess Justice’s YouTube video analysis on this. It’s really good! I mention some of her points in here.)

Luka is almost too nice of a character. He cares a lot about other people and just sort of lets Marinette take advantage of his kindness, which is really sad, BUT there could easily be a motive we don’t know behind that, or he’s secretly bothered by it deep down.

There’s that theory that Luka knows Marinette is Ladybug. He could be trying to get closer to her to take the miraculous from her since he might know the power the ladybug and black cat miraculous hold.

Or, like I mentioned before, if Luka is bothered deep down by Marinette’s romantic feelings for Adrien, there could be something that happens that pushes him over the edge. We’ve even seen that Luka makes a terrifying villain as Silencer. He was super manipulative and had a lot of good tactics. Ladybug and Cat Noir DID in fact have a really hard time fighting him. Luka is also not the type of person to get angry like that, but Hawk Moth needs STRONG emotion to feed off of. So, considering how powerful of a villain Luka was, there’s clearly some anger boiling within him.

We also don’t have that much of a backstory to work off of. We’re slowly learning more, but think about it, for instance, we don’t know who his father is. Some people have theorized it’s Jagged Stone but we’re REALLY not sure. So, maybe it’s a motive of his to find his father.

Thomas Astruc made Luka a very likable character, enough so to get most of the fandom to actually like the Lukanette ship. Luka could have been made purposely likable so that the fandom won’t believe that he will be the next villain.

Another good point Cat Blanc x Princess Justice had made was that Miraculous World made a tweet that Miraculous will be introducing a new villain in season 4 - but it’s a character we already know. Lila and Felix are already known BUT they’re also already well-established villains....

Kagami

If Luka is a possibility, so is Kagami. Half the fandom thinks Kagami is great, the other half thinks she’s awful.

Kagami is shown to have a very strong personality (that sometimes comes off as a bit threatening). She’s very blunt about everything, very uptight, doesn’t beat around the bush. Those three characteristics are similar to Gabriel, HOWEVER Kagami has a caring soul and she really wants to be good to Adrien and Marinette.

So, it’s possible, but unlikely and definitely hard to pinpoint what intentions she could possibly have of becoming a villain. Maybe her mother pinches a certain nerve, or she can’t understand why Adrien doesn’t love her.

Additionally, Thomas Astruc doesn’t cut Adrien a lot of slack, let’s be real here. Adrien’s father is already Hawk Moth, he could switch it to his “girlfriend” being Hawk Moth.

Alya

So, I have a bit of an interesting theory on this since I haven’t really seen anyone else mention anything about Alya potentially becoming bad.

Despite Alya/Rena Rouge having a strong bond and trust with Ladybug, there’s that possibility she still wants to unveil who Ladybug really is - she still runs The Ladyblog, after all. And of course, unveiling Ladybug’s identity is extremely dangerous. She even posted the museum exhibit to her blog in Feast, which she didn’t realize was dangerous. It shows that she might slip and reveal something that she shouldn’t have.

Or, maybe Alya manages to lose Ladybug’s trust. Something monumental could happen. There’s already that bit of danger surrounding Ladybug and Rena Rouge since they’re such close friends in real life and know nearly everything about each other.

Hawk Moth also now knows that Alya is Rena, and could do something to push her to reveal something on The Ladyblog, therefore turning her into a villain.

Also, Alya already knows SO much of the Ladybug lore. She’s dedicated so much time to researching the lore behind the miraculouses. Also pretty dangerous and suspicious.

Nino

Like Alya, there’s a chance Nino also loses Ladybug and/or Cat Noir’s trust. When Nino first got his miraculous, he wasn’t very good at acting like a different person in his superhero persona. He could easily slip and reveal an something he isn’t supposed to.

He is the least likely possibility, but not completely impossible.

Tom or Sabine

I put these two in the same excerpt because they have about the same amount of likeliness to be the next Hawk Moth (or maybe one is Hawk Moth and the other is Mayura 👀)

Tom and Sabine are both super sweet, but also, we don’t know a whole lot about them. Since Gabriel - father of sweet cinnamon roll hero Cat Noir - is Hawk Moth, who’s to say superhero Ladybug’s own parents couldn’t become evil? It’d create a super interesting dynamic in the plot because it’s like how would Marinette react if one of her parents was Hawk Moth?

I have a stronger theory that Tom and Sabine used to be the old Ladybug and Cat Noir, but still. Don’t put it past Thomas Astruc to trick us somehow.

How would Gabriel fail (or lose his miraculous)?

One last thing I’d also like to analyze relating to this is this question.

Does Gabriel NOT end up ever getting Ladybug and Cat Noir’s miraculouses? Let’s look over some possibilities:

1) One of the villains he creates or senti-monsters Nathalie creates becomes too powerful and doesn’t give him the miraculouses once they’re captured.

2) He gives up and realizes all he needs is his dearest son Adrien.

3) He gets sickly and can’t fight anymore and passes on his miraculous for someone else to do the job.

4) Simplest answer: His miraculous is stolen.

[twstarchives]

Ace Trappola・Voice Lines

Additional Voice Lines: Dress-Up Groom Event Card

School Uniform - R

Unlock Card “Don’t drag in any kind of trouble again, alright? ‘Cause I’m not helping you out this time!”

Groovy “It’d get exhausting always being so serious about everything, wouldn’t it? You just gotta be efficient about things ♪”

Home Setting “Let’s take it nice and slow today!”

Home Transitions “Something’s always going on whenever I’m with you. Seriously, it doesn’t ever get boring.”

“Hm? I don’t really hate school. It’s not like I need it, though. Haha! If I didn’t go, I’d just have nothing to do.”

“Professor Crewel called me over when I ditched class duty today... He gets so intense when he’s scolding his students!”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Oh, you’re finally here. So what’re you doing right now? C’mon, pick something~”

Home Taps “It’s kinda nice that our outfits are already picked out for us everyday. If we got to wear casual clothes, we’d have to spend some time trying to put together an outfit.”

“My dreams for the future? Nope, don’t got any! Striving hard to achieve your dreams is so... bleurgh, I can’t do it. It’s just not my thing.”

“Yeah, yeah, what do you want with me this time? You’ve got some serious dedication to this whole prefect thing.”

“I’m glad our dorm color is red. I like red. It stands out, it’s stylish, and it fits me nicely, doesn’t it?”

“Alright, alright, stop pulling so hard; I can hear you just fine! ...So? What is it?”

PE Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I’m pretty confident about my reflexes. Wanna take a look at my magift skills?”

Groovy “You can tell just by looking at me that I’m the type who hates losing. Come do some intensive training with me!”

Home Setting “It’s not good for you to just be standing still like that!”

Home Transitions “I seriously can’t handle Coach Vargas. He’s so intense and conceited... It’s tiring just being around him.”

“I have a lot of fun in the basketball club. I get along well with upperclassmen from the other dorms too.”

“I think sports and magic are kinda similar. I mean, you’ve gotta put all your effort into both of them everyday.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “PE class is about to start soon. You’ll get left behind if you keep moving so slow~”

Home Taps “Did you already eat yet? If not, let’s go pick up something from the store. It’s boring being cooped up inside all the time.”

“No way. I don’t even have to ask; I can tell just by that face that whatever you have to say is something real troublesome. Don’t tell me.”

“I don’t wanna turn into some macho guy who’s totally ripped, so I can take it easy with my training.”

“Cater actually has pretty good reflexes. I should ask him for some Flying tips later.”

“Ahaha!! What do you want~? You keep poking me in the side over and over again!”

Lab Coat - SR

Unlock Card “Working together’s really important. ...So anyway, let’s do our best on this assignment!”

Groovy “It’s fine to slack off just a little. Just do your best not to get caught.”

Home Setting “What, you’ve got a question? Alright, you owe me one.”

Home Transitions “I saw Deuce in the library looking really serious about something. I guess he’s studying for our next test.”

“Hey, did you finish the homework? Let’s do it together if you haven’t yet. That way we can split the work and get it done faster.”

“Sometimes there are potions with effects that make you think ‘What would you even make that for?’ I’d never wanna drink one, though.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “They don’t call Night Raven a prestigious academy for nothing. I gotta study sometimes too or I’ll get behind.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Why do you have so much motivation for your classes? Don’t tell me you’re actually planning on making Grim a great mage, or something?”

Home Taps “The Headmaster really shows up and vanishes at the most unexpected times. Yesterday it almost gave me a heart attack when I noticed he was sitting behind me.”

“Be careful if you come across any talking flowers in the Botanical Garden. People say they’re really mean.”

“Potions are so nasty. And yet in the Queen of Hearts’ country, they were supposed to have tasted like things like pies and juice...”

“What do they even do at the science club? Trey invited me to stop by earlier but it seemed boring so I said no.”

“Ah, I seriously can’t deal with intense people. Go do that kinda stuff with Deuce, not me!”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Have you gotten everything ready for our next experiment? I’m kinda worried about how slow you are.”

Ceremony Robes - SR

Unlock Card “Wearing these feels kinda... ah, don’t laugh at me! You’re not one to talk either!!”

Groovy “Hehe! I give off that prestigious Night Raven College! vibe, don’t I?”

Home Setting “Don’t cause any trouble today!”

Home Transitions “Hah... Why do the teachers have to talk for so long? It’s so boring. I wish they’d  wrap it up in three minutes flat.”

“What kinds of things do you guys have celebrations for where you come from? Do you celebrate Unbirthdays?”

“Before enrolling here, I thought these clothes looked so old-fashioned, but now I think they’re very fitting for a mage. Heheh.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Oi, Prefect. Grim starts causing all the mischief he wants whenever you’re not here!”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Tada! I pulled a hedgehog out of my hood...! Wait, I messed it up. Magic tricks using living creatures are really hard.”

Home Taps “If you’re free, how about we go to the lounge? Well, the only thing I usually do there is play cards though.”

“Doesn’t this school have a serious lacking of entertainment?! There’s absolutely nowhere to have fun! What about a café? Or some live shows?!”

“My shoulders feel kinda stiff... I’m really not good at formal things.”

“I think my brother was even happier than my parents when they found out I was accepted here. He’s an alumni from the same dorm as me.”

“No, you can’t sleep right now! You were dozing off in class the other day and even I could tell from sitting behind you!”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Oh, perfect timing. Could we have a card game tournament at Ramshackle tonight? ...It’s fine, no one’ll find out!”

Dorm Uniform - SSR

Unlock Card “My winning trump card is the Ace of Hearts!”

“I’d rather not get all heated and serious about things. ...Hey, are you even listening?!”

Groovy “You want to come to Heartslabyul? Haha, we’ll always welcome you!”

Home Setting “Let’s hurry and get this done!”

Home Transitions “Wanna go to the Unbirthday Party together? I promise there’ll be a delicious tart. ...I can’t promise the Dorm Leader will be in a good mood, though.”

“I know a magic trick that can make multiple cards appear from just one. Wanna see?”

“Euegh... I ate too much pie and now I’m so full... Trey’s sweets are just so good; I couldn’t stop eating.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Prefect-! Come help me take care of the hedgehogs we use for croquet!”

Home Transition (Groovy) “So? How do I look in my dorm uniform? Handsome? ...Er, complimenting me that much would just sound like a lie.”

Home Taps “I showed the Dorm Leader a card trick and it actually surprised him. That felt nice ♪”

“If I was put in a different dorm... mm, I can’t even picture it. I guess Heartslabyul just fits me the best.”

“The freshmen have four people per room. It’s crowded, but it’s always full of energy so it’s a lot of fun. You should come hang out sometime.”

“Red vests are part of both our school and dorm uniforms, but the ones we wear with our dorm uniforms also have a traditional pattern associated with the Queen of Hearts on them.”

“Hey, now even you are acting just like Grim does; stop it! This keeps getting more and more out of hand.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I wish you were part of Heartslabyul too. You don’t get the thrill of wondering when your head’ll get chopped off anywhere else.”

Duo Magic Ace: “Oi, Deuce! You better not just drag me down!” Deuce: “You’re so full of yourself! Who do you think you’re talking to, Ace?!”

Birthday Celebration Outfit - SSR

This card was only obtainable during Ace’s birthday event (Sept 18 - Sept 25, 2020).

Login on Birthday “Hey Prefect, do you know what day it is today? It’s not an Unbirthday... It’s Ace’s birthday! Which means I’m the star of today. What should I do for it~?”

Unlock Card “Today I can have the first slice of cake without worrying about losing my head, right?”

“Hey, what’re you gonna get me for my birthday? Oh, if you’ve got no idea, a cherry pie would be nice~”

Groovy “Having a giant party isn’t as bad as I thought. Thanks for coming to celebrate too!”

Home Setting “This get-up’s so embarrassing! It’s screaming ‘Look at me!’ way too much.”

Home Transitions “This heart-shaped pin is reaaally sparkly. It’s kinda intense with how special! it looks.”

“When I was at my club earlier, the soles of my basketball shoes fell apart. Floyd has a good sense of style; maybe he’ll give some to me as a gift~”

“I don’t mind Cater posting pictures of me on Magicam... but I don’t know how to feel about him tagging it as ‘Acey’s Growth Record.’”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Sorry, but we can’t have an Unbirthday Party today. ‘Cause today’s my actual birthday!”

Home Transition (Groovy) “After the party, can I come over to Ramshackle? Let’s invite Jack and the others and play cards till it’s morning.”

Home Taps “When I was little, my older brother one time blew out the candles on my birthday cake. We got into huge fight after.”

“I’m only one year older now, but everyone’s making a huge celebration out of it... I’m not saying I hate it, though~”

“Deuce said he’d treat me to whatever pastry I want at the school store! Hahaha, let’s ask him for the most expensive one. You in?”

“My brother’s not the only one good at magic tricks in my family; my dad’s really good at them too. On our birthdays, he used to show us tricks using gift boxes.”

“Aghgh, I get it! We’re done saying ‘Yes, Happy Birthday!’ ...It’s kind of really embarrassing...”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I can ask you favors since it’s my special day today, can’t I? When you finish that assignment, come join the party!”

Duo Magic Ace: Ortho, wish me a big happy birthday! Ortho: Happy birthday, Ace Trappola!

Lv Up “Oh, this feels kinda nice!”

“Yay! Level up!”

“I gotta get even further ahead of everyone else.”

Max Lv Up “This feels incredible. Now that I’ve got this, it’ll probably be a lot easier for me to back up a certain someone who can’t use magic.”

Episode Lv Up “Ahaha! So these kinds of things can happen too. I always thought people like you would be the ones I’d get along the worst with, but I guess not! ...Just messing with you.”

Magic Lv Up “I could win against the Dorm Leader now that I’ve got this power, right? ...Oh, what I said just now is a secret, ‘kay?”

Limit Break “Whaaat? Aren’t you expecting too much from me? Well, alright. Guess I just should just work a little harder!”

Groovy “I’ll keep showing you more and more of my cool side, so look forward to that!”

Lesson Select “What class are you doing? Hurry up and pick. I’ll be sleeping straight through any one you pick anyway.”

“You’re so enthusiastic about this... Okay, okay! Stop pulling on me so hard!”

“Make sure to keep a close eye on Grim during class, alright, Prefect? He tried ditching earlier and the teacher got mad at him.”

Lesson Start “Let’s get this over with!”

Lesson End “It’s done~! Ahh, I’m tired.”

Battle Start “Okay~ I’ll make you all hit rock bottom!”

Battle End “Nothing to say about it. I won!”

Other

Profile Quote “Man, the Queen of Hearts is so cool! Nobody would obey a queen who’s just kind all the time, right?”

January 2020 Trailer “Ya better not be late! Or the scaaary queen will chop off your head!”

Countdown Poster “Stop daydreaming. Don’t you know you can get lost in the rose maze?”

Take His Hand “Let's head on over there!”

Player Birthday Wish “Eh? Was there something going on today? ...I’m just messing with you! It’s your birthday, right? Of course I remembered. Happy birthday, Prefect.”

Valentine’s Day Gift Letter (2021)

These letters were originally in English. I didn’t translate or edit them in any way. They came with official merch from Aniplex, and are not present in-game.

Hey you, Thanks for the present. But what’s up with the sudden gesture? Are you trying to apologize for something here? …JUST KIDDING! I actually need to talk to you about something, too. See you in class later!

[aspenflower17]

Finding You (Part Nine of ??)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone (even if you don’t live in the US)! Here is the update for this week :) This chapter was a little self indulgent. I do talk a tiny bit about music theory and Jane Austen in this chapter. If you have questions about either, just ask and I can try to explain/direct you to some good sources on what I’m talking about 😅 

Edit: Totally forgot to mention! The whole Pride and Prejudice HC about Lucifer is not originally mine. I believe I read it on one of the Beel blogs. I think it was @taco-beel :)

For anyone new, here is the link for Part One. I hope you enjoy 😁 

Tags for the Lovelies:  @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan (If you’d like to be added to the tags list, just message me or comment below!)

Satan/ F!Mc

Trigger Warnings: possibly for depression?

Word Count: 2,322

After Mc shut the door, she slid down the door to the floor, head in her hands. Well, that couldn’t have gone worse. I would’ve rather had him ignore me or not remember me at all. I could’ve figured out how to interact with him in those situations. But what was with him being sweet in the beginning, and then just seizing up? Then he grabbed my wrist and seemed super worried about me leaving and then didn’t even say anything the whole walk?! That goodbye too! What was that?! 

The more Mc thought about the whole thing, the more upset she got. She leaned her head back against the door, her brain replaying the beginning of the conversation trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Remembering the look in his eyes as he had fervently declared he remembered her. The warmth of his voice.

Then the progressive unease as she had continued talking until the abrupt emotional cutoff. He had obviously been uninterested in talking with her any longer, though she really couldn’t figure out why. He had been so dismissive. But when I tried to leave… She looked down to the wrist he had grabbed. He sounded so… desperate. Like he truly didn’t want to let me leave. So, why didn’t he talk to me?

“Mc? Are you alright?” Michael asked, stepping into the entrance hall with Diavolo.

“I’m… I’m fine. Diavolo, do you have a music room?” Mc asked, standing up as nonchalantly as she could.

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you have a piano, or similar instrument?”

“Yes…”

“May I use it for the rest of the day? I need to compose.”

“I… Sure. I’ll have Lil’ D No. 2 show you the way,” and as he said that, a small demon appeared and beckoned her forward, and she promptly followed.

“Oh dear,” Michael sighed, eyes following Mc.

“What’s wrong,” Diavolo asked, thoroughly confused by the whole encounter.

“She is definitely not alright. She can only compose when she’s really emotional about something.”

“I… Wait, is she going to let us hear it when she’s done?” Diavolo asked, eyes lighting up.

Mc sat down at the piano. It was an almost pure black grand, and the key colors were reversed, which was messing with her brain visually. The piano bench lid was made from a beautiful dark red wood, the rest the same black as the rest of the piano. The piano did not look worn, but it was obviously old. 

Mc started playing her normal warm up scales, but quickly stopped when she realized they didn’t sound right. She tried again with the same result. It’s in minor…

Trying out all the keys, she realized the whole piano was in minor. You could play major chords, but it was like making minor chords on a normal piano. Interesting.

Mc continued playing and getting warmed up, wanting to explore the amazing opportunity that had presented itself. She started playing some of her own creations, marveling at how different her songs sounded. As she was playing, she remembered a song she had abandoned a long time ago. Though it should have sounded correct, she had never been able to make it sound correct. I wonder…

She started playing the song, and was amazed to find just how perfect it sounded. It was the same song, but it now sounded perfect. Encouraged, Mc tried to continue composing, but she couldn’t get past where she had already composed, no matter how much she worked on it. Discouraged and a little frustrated, Mc look at her DDD and was surprised to see it was almost time for dinner.

Standing up, she promised herself she’d come back later, and work on it more.

“I’ve decided to throw a ball in Mc’s honor!”

Michael and Mc looked up from their dinner at the proclamation from Diavolo. Luke seemed unphased by the announcement.

“A ball? In my honor?”

“Yes! You’re my honored guest after all.”

“He also loves throwing balls,” Luke added.

“Also that,” Diavolo admitted.

“Well, I’d be honored. Thank you.”

“Perfect! It’ll be held a week from today. Barbados! Make sure invitations are sent and food is ready.”

“Yes sir,” Mc jumped, not realizing Barbados was in the room, turning around to see him exit. She was starting to notice the butler seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

“Is a week too fast?” Mc asked worriedly.

“Nonsense! This is a lot more notice than I usually give if I’m going to be honest,” Diavolo laughed.

“For a whole ball to be planned?”

“Yes! Barbados is one hell of a butler,” Diavolo grinned over his teacup, before taking a sip.

Mc sat in her room and mused over the events of the day. Now that she had calmed down enough to think rationally, she started analyzing Satan’s behavior, and found she really couldn’t make sense of it. Unless he thought I was someone else… Wait. That makes a lot of sense actually. Like not a ton of sense, because he should have realized I wasn’t them before I started talking about meeting him before, but more than anything else I can think of. He may have also been a little… unhinged. He did look like he hadn’t slept in three days…

Satisfied enough that her brain could rest, she snuggled down into her blankets. Every time she closed her eyes however, all she saw was Satan’s face as he had grabbed her wrist. She brought her other hand up to her wrist and grabbed it. Now smiling, she drifted off to sleep.

Mc snorted, shifting a bit as she read. The bed was comfortable, the scent of its owner making her feel safe and comforted. Classes had been long and when the demon that sat behind her had gotten up, they had accidentally hit her in the head with their bag pretty hard, which had made Mammon nearly kill them. She had narrowly saved their life by assuring him it had been an accident and somehow calming her guardian demon down. This then had resulted in her being called into talk with Lucifer about what had happened, and so she had missed her Devildom History course.

She had come to Satan’s room to grab the notes he had thoughtfully taken for her, but when he saw how worn out she was, he had offered a quiet evening of reading and tea. She hadn’t been able to refuse, seeing as how she relished anytime she could get with him. The scent of old books and their caretaker was a surefire way to help her unwind from the day, the stacks of books throughout the room making her feel like they were in their own little world. The outside world glittered in the perpetual darkness through Satan’s large windows.

“What’s so amusing?” Satan asked from the armchair he had moved over by his bed once their reading sessions became a normal occurrence.

“‘We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him’” Mc quoted.

“Ah! ‘You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’” Satan said, a cheeky grin on his face.

Mc’s brain stopped functioning for a second, “Wai… Wha…?”

“Pride and Prejudice right?”

“Oh, hehe, right,” Mc laughed, trying to hide behind her book as best she could as all the blood rushed to her face, “It’s a good quote.”

“You know, when it came out, there was a rumor going around that Mr. Darcy was based off of Lucifer.”

“Wait… You’re joking.”

“No. He had been spending a lot of time in the human realm. Sometimes we wouldn’t see him for weeks at a time. Then, he just stopped going up as much. About a year later, Pride and Prejudice was released. After the rumor started, Lucifer would not allow it in the house for the longest time. He even went so far as to ask Diavolo not to allow it in the Devildom at all.”

Satan had Mc’s full attention at this point, “What was his excuse?”

“Something about a stupid romance novel ruining his reputation, and how we needed to be the voice of reason for the lower demons if they were going to allow themselves to be so easily swayed to believe the nonsense.”

“You had a copy though, right?”

“Oh, of course I did. I still do actually. First edition. I even went up to the human realm to get it.”

“Wow… That explains so much though. Lucifer is like the epitome of Mr. Darcy.”

Satan shifted in his chair, and looked down at his book, “You think so?”

“Yeah. Tall, dark, handsome,” Mc watched as Satan sunk a bit lower in his chair at each word, seeming to get fairly upset, “Standoffish. Rude. Conceitful. Overbearing.”

“Ah, so you’re not a fan of Mr. Darcy?”

“Hmmm… I wouldn’t say that. He is her most popular leading man for a reason. But…”

“But?” Satan was looking at her now, his eyes probably larger and more insistent than he meant them to be. 

“He’s far too prideful in the beginning for me. We probably wouldn’t have gotten anywhere,” Mc watched Satan relax visibly before continuing, “While I enjoy Pride and Prejudice, I’d rather read Sense and Sensibility or Northanger Abbey. I would rather have a Mr. Tilney or possibly even a Colonel Brandon. Someone who I could sit and make jokes with. Someone who would read to me. Someone I could go on adventures with and who could tell me all about this or that because they’re so well read,” Mc was looking down at the cover of the book now, and she could tell her face was heating up, “I’d much rather have someone like that.”

There was silence after Mc stopped talking, and she dared not look up. She’d basically just confessed to Satan, and she hadn’t even meant to. She kinda hoped her words went over his head, but also hoped they didn’t. The silence stretched longer than Mc would’ve liked before the bed shifted.

There was another few moments of silence before Satan spoke, a bit haltingly, “Mc, will you look at me? Please?”

Mc lifted her eyes shyly looking a little sheepish. She only had a moment of Satan’s shocked look before there was a flash of gold and his lips were on hers. She was so shocked she couldn’t respond for a second, but then she returned the kiss, melting as her body was on fire. Completely focused on the moment while soaring through the clouds. Perfect. It was perfect.

Mc came back to consciousness, her alarm playing soft piano music. She reached out her arms grasping. Searching. Coming up empty, she cracked an eye open, disappointment flooding her body when all she saw was her own arms. Her vision blurred as a strong wave of loneliness washed over her. She blinked a couple times to clear away her tears, feeling them slide down her face. She had had mornings like this in the Celestial Realm, though this was the first time she had remembered the dream that preceded it. She hadn’t really felt lonely since coming to the Devildom, and hadn’t registered it. Now though, it felt debilitating. She sent a text to Luke explaining she probably wouldn’t be down for breakfast and asking him to apologize to everyone for her. She then turned on some soft music, and dropped her DDD on the bed.

She lay quietly, the tears falling openly. This is what she had to do those terrible mornings in the Celestial Realm when she felt like she couldn’t face the day. Eventually her tears gave out, and she was left with an apathetic empty feeling. She continued laying in bed, not remembering a bout this bad in any recent history. After a while, she drifted off to sleep again.

“Hey. You awake?”

Mc groaned, sore from not moving in awhile, “Is that you Luke?”

“Yeah. I got a bit worried when you also missed lunch. You okay?”

“I think I’m okay now. I just got a bit too upset this morning.”

“Are you sure? I can tell Michael you’re caught up in an artistic frenzy or something.”

“Nah. Thanks though,” Mc smiled, still sleepy.

“Okay. As long as you're okay,” Luke was looking at her worriedly, but leaning down and kissing her forehead anyways, “I’ll make sure some lunch gets saved for you.”

“Thanks Luke,” Mc sighed, sitting up.

“Anything for my little sister.”

Over the next week, Mc continued trying to work on her song, though she didn’t get any further, along with her other art. She also read all about the Devildom’s history and visited some historically significant locations to put a name to a place. The whole time, her mind worked on the enigma that was her dream. She supposed it was a product of her brain trying to work through the disappointment of how her first meeting with Satan went, along with how active she had been since coming down to the Devildom. She tried to convince herself of this anyways. The truth was, it felt exactly like she was reliving a memory. It felt real, and nothing about it had been weird, all details clear, nothing out of place. It even felt familiar, she’d even go so far as to say worn, like some of her favorite memories did.

She blushed even thinking about the dream, clearly recalling the warmth and softness of his lips. The feeling of his hand on the back of her neck....

“Mc, are you almost ready,” Luke called from the other side of the door.

“Give me a couple more minutes. I’ll be down soon.”

“Okay. The guests are starting to arrive.”

“Sounds good. Thanks for letting me know,” Mc took one last look at herself in the mirror before nodding and getting up, “Let’s do this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Like, comments and reblogs are appreciated! I love discussing Obey Me so feel free to chat with me 😁

Part Ten

[beastars-takes]

Zootopia Takes: Darker’s Not Better

The Shock Collar Draft

So, it sounds like people are largely positive on me doing some Zootopia posts on this blog, and I wanted to talk about this tweet I saw the other day:

I’ll punt on explaining why Beastars isn’t “Dark Zootopia”--that’s a great topic for another post. But I would like to talk about why this popular yet stridently uninformed tweet is so, so wrong. Why the shock collar draft was not better, actually.

And obviously, I’m not writing several pages in reply to a single tweet--this is a take that’s been around since the movie came out, that the “original version was better.” It’s been wrong the whole time.

Let’s talk about why!

Part 1: “Because Disney”

Let’s start with this--the assumption that the film’s creators wanted to make this shock collar story and “Disney” told them to change it.

That’s not how it works.

I try to keep stuff about me out of these posts as much as possible, but just for a bit of background, I’ve worked in the animation industry for about half a decade. I know people at Disney. I have a reasonable idea of how things are there.

There is this misconception about creative industries that they’re constantly this pitched battle of wills between creative auteurs trying to make incredible art and ignorant corporate suits trying to repress them.

That can happen, especially in dysfunctional studios (and boy could I tell some stories) but Walt Disney Animation Studios is not dysfunctional. It’s one of the most autonomous and well-treated parts of the Disney Company.

The director of Zootopia, Byron Howard, isn’t an edgelord. He made Bolt and Tangled. He knows what his audience is, and he’s responsible enough not to spend a year (and millions of dollars in budget) developing a grimdark Don Bluth story that leadership would never approve. It wouldn’t just be a waste of time--he would be endangering the livelihoods of the hundreds of people working under him. Meanwhile, Disney Animation’s corporate leadership trusts their talent. They don’t generally interfere with story development because they don’t need to. Because they employ people like Byron Howard.

Howard and the other creative leads of Zootopia have said a dozen times, in interviews and documentaries, that they gave up on the shock collar idea because it wasn’t working. They’ve explained their reasoning in detail. Maybe they’re leaving out some of the story, but in general? I believe them.

But Beastars Takes, you say, maybe even if Disney didn’t force them to back away from this darker version, it still would have been better?

Part 2: Why Shock Collars Seem Good

I will say this--I completely sympathize with people who see these storyboards and scenes from earlier versions of the movie and think “this seems amazing.” It does! A lot of these drawings and shots are heartbreakingly good, in isolation.

I love these boards. They make me want to cry. I literally have this drawing framed on my wall. Believe me, I get it.

But the only reason we care this much about this alternative draft of Zootopia is that the Zootopia we got made us love this world and these characters. You know what actually made me cry?

Oh, yeah.

So let’s set aside the astonishing hubris of insisting Zootopia’s story team abandoned the “good” version of the story, when the “bad version” is the most critically-acclaimed Disney animated feature in the past SIXTY YEARS.

“But Beastars Takes!” I hear you say. “Critics are idiots and just because something’s popular doesn’t make it good!”

Fair enough. Let’s talk about why the real movie is better.

Part 3: The Message (it is, in fact, like a jungle sometimes)

This type of thing is always hard to discuss, in the main--a lot of people don’t want to feel criticized or “called out” by the entertainment they consume, and they don’t want to be asked to think about their moral responsibilities. But it’s hard to deny that Zootopia is a movie with a strong point of view. Everything else--the characters, the worldbuilding, the plot, grows out from the movie’s central statement about bias.

And the movie we got, with no shock collars, makes that statement far more effectively.

To dive into the full scope of Zootopia’s worldview and politics (warts and all) would be a whole post on its own, so I’ll just summarize the key point of relevance here:

Zootopia's moral message is that you, the viewer, need to confront your own biases. Not yell at someone else. No matter how much of a good or progressive person you consider yourself to be--if you want to stand against prejudice you have to start with yourself.

That’s a tough sell! For that message to land, we need to see ourselves in the protagonist.

Judy’s a good person! She argues with her dad about foxes. She knows predators aren’t all dangerous. She’s not speciesist. Right?

Ah fuck.

Let’s fast-forward to the pivotal scene of this movie. In an unfortunate but inevitable confluence of circumstances, Judy’s own biases and prejudiced assumptions come out, and she shits the bad.

Nick, who’s already bared his soul to her (against his better instincts), is heartbroken. But not as heartbroken as he is a minute later when he tries to confront her about what she’s said, and she makes this face:

Whaaaat? Come on, Nick. I’m a good person. Why are you giving me a hard time?

People like to complain about this scene. That it’s a hackneyed “misunderstanding” trope that could be easily resolved with a discussion. They’re wrong. Nick tries to have a discussion. She blows him off.

This isn’t Judy acting out of character, this is her character. Someone who identifies as Not A Racist, and hasn’t given the issue any more thought. This is not only completely believable characterization (who hasn’t seen someone react this way when you told them they hurt you?) it’s the film’s central thesis!

Yes, Nick somewhat provokes her into reaching for her “fox spray,” and her own trauma factors in there, but she’s already made her fatal mistake before that happens.

(As an aside, people also make the criticism that the movie unrealistically deflects responsibility for racism onto Bellwether and her plot. It doesn’t. All the key expressions of prejudice in the film--Judy’s encounter with Gideon, her parents’ warnings, the elephant in the ice cream shop, Judy’s early encounters with Bogo, Judy's views on race science--exist largely outside of Bellwether’s influence. She is a demagogue who inflames existing tensions, she didn’t invent them. Bogo literally says “the world has always been broken.”)

So, anyway. But we love Judy. She’s an angel. She also kinda sucks! She’s proudly unprejudiced, and when her own prejudice is pointed out to her she argues and doesn’t take it seriously. This is bad, but it’s also a very human reaction. It’s one most of us have probably been guilty of at one point or another.

Look at Zootopia’s society, too--it’s shiny and cosmopolitan, seemingly idyllic. Anyone can be anything, on paper. But scratch too deep beneath the surface and there’s a lot of pain and resentment here, things nobody respectable would say in public but come out behind closed doors, or among family, when nobody’s watching. It’s entirely recognizable--at least to me, someone who lives in a large liberal city in the United States. Like Byron Howard.

Wow, this place is a paradise!

Wait, what’s a “NIMBY”?

Part 4: Why Shock Collars Are Bad

So, with the film’s conceit established, let’s circle back to the shock collar idea. Like I said, it’s heartbreaking. It’s dramatic. It’s affective.

It also teaches us nothing.

If I see a movie where predator animals are subjected to 24/7 electroshock therapy, I don’t think “wow, this makes me want to think about how I could do better by the people around me.” I think “damn that shit’s crazy lmao. that’d be fucked up if that happened.” At a stretch, it reminds me of something like the Jim Crow era, or the Shoah. You know, stuff in the Past. Stuff we’ve all decided couldn’t ever happen again, so why worry about it?

The directors have said this exact thing, just politely. “It didn’t feel contemporary,” they say in pressers. That’s what it means.

If anything, the shock collar draft reifies the mindset that Zootopia is trying to reject--it shows us that discrimination is blatant, and dramatic, and flagrantly cruel, and impossible to miss.

And...that’s not true. If you only look for bias at its most malicious and evil, you’re going to miss the other 95 percent.

The messaging of this “darker version” is--ironically--less mature, less insightful, less intelligent. Less useful. Darker’s not better.

Part 5: Why Shock Collars Are Still Bad

So what if you don’t care about the message? What if you have no interest in self-reflection, or critical analysis (why are you reading this blog then lmao)? What if you just really want to hear a fun story about talking animals?

Well, this is trickier, because the remaining reasons are pretty subjective and emotional.

The creators have said that the shock collar version didn’t work because the viewers hated the cruel world they’d created. They agreed with Nick--the city was beyond saving. They didn’t want to save it.

The creators have said that Judy was hard to sympathize with, not being able to recognize the shock collars for the obvious cruelty they were.

Fuck you, Judy!

But we haven’t seen the draft copies. We haven’t watched the animatics. We have to take their word for it. Anyone who’s sufficiently invested in this story is going to say “well, I disagree with them.” It doesn’t matter to them that they haven’t seen the draft and the filmmakers have. The movie they’ve imagined is great and nobody is going to convince them otherwise.

But the fact remains that the shock collar movie, as written, did not work. And, if behind the scenes material is to be believed, it continued to not work after months and months of story doctoring.

There’s even been a webcomic made out of the dystopian version of Zootopia. It’s clever and creative and well-written and entertaining and...it kind of falls apart. The creator, after more than a little shit-talk directed at Disney, abandoned the story before reaching the conclusion, but even before then the seams were beginning to show. How do you take a society that’s okay with electrocuting cute animals and bring it to a point of cathartic redemption? You can’t, really. The story doesn’t work.

Does that mean people shouldn’t make fanworks out of the cut material? That they shouldn’t be inspired and excited by it? Hell no. This drawing is cute as hell. The ideas are compelling.

But I suppose what I’d ask of you all is--if you’re weighing the hot takes of art students on Twitter against the explanations of veteran filmmakers, consider that the latter group might actually know what they’re talking about.

See you next time!

[hafanforever]

Bride and Prejudice

Introduction

Although I love to study, observe, and analyze fictional villains, especially those from my favorite movies, both Disney and non-Disney, Gaston has always been my least favorite (animated) villain from Disney because he is extremely vain, narcissistic, arrogant, egotistical, chauvinistic, superior, and shallow. In real life, as well as in fiction, I strongly dislike people who display snobby, condescending, supreme, and superior attitudes by obsessively thinking so highly of themselves, and believing they are better than others in everything, from their social class to their physical appearance, so much so that they coldly dismiss, insult, belittle, and/or ignore others they see as being below them and not worth their time.

But my other main reason for hating Gaston goes even beyond his attempted murder of the Beast and aggressive persistence to force Belle to marry him after she refuses his so-called “proposal”. Because I am a feminist who believes in gender equality, and that women have the ability to do almost anything men can do (even though I accept that men will always be physically stronger than women by nature), I also detest Gaston due to his prejudiced, inferior, sexist, misogynistic views of women.

Now please don’t take this the wrong way; I don’t let my hatred of him stop me from enjoying Beauty and the Beast, because I LOVE the movie, and I do think Gaston makes a great presence with his role as the main antagonist. And I’m not a misandrist, or a person who hates the male gender as a whole, so I apologize in advance to my male friends on here if you think I’m giving off that impression. But in real life, I hate prejudice and bigotry aimed towards people when it comes to their race, gender, nationality, and/or social rank. And since I am a woman with feminist beliefs, I sometimes take it personally (more so than any other types of bigotry) when men exhibit sexist beliefs about women.

So with all of his major flaws, those being his bigoted, condescending, inferior views of women, his beliefs that men are (and always will be) above women, AND his narcissistic, egotistical, conceited, self-centered personality, the overall reason I hate Gaston and announce him as my least favorite Disney villain is because he is THE epitome and archetype of the very kind of man that I despise. Now I don’t know anyone like that in person, but I know that there are still prejudiced people out there in the world today. I have seen both real (like on live talk shows) and fictional men who show these kinds of prejudiced demeanors. When real men in particular show this kind of attitude, I get very offended by it. And Gaston probably holds these thoughts at greater extremities than any other fictional prejudiced male characters (at least those of which I know or am aware).

The more I thought about how strongly Gaston’s prejudicial thoughts on women are displayed, which are what drive Belle away from him, the more that I believe that, despite setting his sights on marrying her and determining to make it happen at all costs, I believe that Gaston considered Belle a challenge, and even a threat, to his public image, to his gender, and to his own identity. I say this because her personality makes her so unconventional and atypical for a woman for the era in which the film is set. And due to these thoughts, I decided to write this analysis on how I think Gaston saw Belle as a threat to himself and his own gender, but remained set on marrying her, regardless of her refusals. And of course, I will throw in my interpretations of Gaston’s prejudiced attitude towards women since the kind of personality Belle has goes against what he thinks both men and women should be.

What Men Want

During their first meeting, Gaston insults Belle by making sexist remarks about women who read and are intelligent. He states that it’s wrong for women to read since it leads to them thinking for themselves and getting intellectually smart, which he also thinks is ridiculous (though more so for women). In their next scene together, which is when Gaston makes his “marriage proposal” to Belle, he makes more sexist remarks, this time about women and housewifery. He describes to her how he envisions his life as a married man: living in a rustic hunting lodge in which his latest animal kill would be cooking on the fire, while his “little wife” would be massaging his feet as their six or seven children (all of whom would be sons) play on the floor with their dogs. Part of Gaston’s sexism in this scene is stressed with how he doesn’t even appear to consider the possibility of fathering any daughters. He arrogantly and proudly announces that his desired number of children is six or seven “strapping boys, like me!” The manner in which Gaston makes this statement sounds as if he is 100% confident (as indicated by him lightly pounding on his chest while saying said gender) that the chances that this many children would be boys, and only boys, is absolutely and logically possible. Therefore, he is also confident that there are no chances that any of his six to seven children would be a mix of boys and girls, or even all girls.

Additionally, in both of these scenes, besides what Gaston says that offends her, Belle recoils from him in annoyance, shock, and revulsion because he is VERY brazen. He makes unwanted advances on Belle to the point that he attempts to physically force himself onto her and get her under his control. By doing so, Gaston shows a total lack of respect for Belle’s personal space and property (hinting that he doesn’t think she should even have any in the first place). This all starts in the first scene, when Gaston literally and curtly snatches Belle’s book out of her hands and keeps it out of her reach to prevent her from taking it back from him. Then he carelessly tosses the book into the mud, and even tries to prevent Belle from retrieving it by stepping in front of it and the mud puddle. While he does this, Gaston flatly tells Belle that she has to stop reading and start paying attention to more important things (namely, himself, which does not impress Belle at all). After she recovers and cleans off her book, Gaston puts his arm around Belle’s shoulder and subtly forces her to walk with him as he suggests they go to the tavern together. Before they start “walking together”, Gaston again snatches the book out of Belle’s hand and attempts to keep it out of her reach when she tries to take it back.

Now this moment interests me because I realize that Gaston was starting to use more direct force to try to get Belle to stop reading. He was trying harder to get her to do what he wants her to do and make her see things his own way. And of course, Gaston arrogantly believes that his views and ways of doing/seeing things is right, so he tries to get Belle to see that while also showing her that what she does and likes is wrong. But Belle finally succeeds in grabbing the book back from Gaston, during which she turns down going with him to the tavern since she has to get home to help her father. The fact that Belle uses physical force herself when she grabs her book out of Gaston’s hand also interests me, because I see it as her way of telling him, “I’m not gonna let you stop me from reading because it’s what I love.” What happens between the two over the book and him “inviting” her to the tavern shows me that Gaston was trying to take the reins and show Belle that he wanted to be in control of her. He wanted to be in charge of her. He wanted to dominate her by telling her what to do, and would resort to using more abrupt force if necessary, in order to make her see things his way. But Belle taking her book from Gaston and turning down going out with him showed that she ABSOLUTELY would not give him that chance to do that. She refused to let him believe that he could dominate and control her, that she would willingly submit to him, that he was in the right to tell her what to do and not to do.

Nope! Just with using her book, Belle stood up to Gaston, defied him, and resisted him. By doing so, she indirectly told him that she is capable of making her own decisions, that she is very independent and likes to do her own thing, regardless of what he and others think. To Belle, Gaston is not someone who has the right to give her orders and make her do something she doesn’t want to do…and this is why he frowns after she manages to take her book out of his grasp while saying that she cannot go out with him.

During the proposal scene, before and while he describes his visions as a married man, Gaston again displays a total disregard and disrespect for Belle’s personal space and property. This begins when he briskly opens the door to her cottage and lets himself in without waiting for her to open it first after he knocks on it (AND without even waiting for her to grant or deny him permission to come inside in the first place). Once inside, Gaston makes more advances on Belle by continuously walking towards her, as if he’s trying to make her keep her eyes on him and block her attempts to get away from him. He then dirties her book (which is placed on the table) for the second time when he sits down and slams his muddy boots on it, kicks his boots off, and stinks up the book with his feet. (The fact that Gaston puts his feet, both boot-covered and bootless, smack-dab on top of the book clearly shows that he is again telling Belle, even without words, that he will NOT stand for her reading because she is a woman, and that he hates the concept of reading entirely.) When Gaston finally makes his proposal, not only does he continue to advance on Belle by trying to corner her, he does not ask her to marry him. Rather, Gaston tells her that he wants her to be his wife, then tells Belle to say she will marry him, like he’s giving her no choice in the matter, which is fitting because by then, he has her pinned against her door.

Like their previous meeting, Belle is shocked and repulsed by Gaston’s actions throughout the whole scene (though she manages to keep a straight face when he is inside her home). She groans and makes a face of pure disgust when she first sees him outside her door. She is repulsed by Gaston’s descriptions of married life, and more so by him dirtying her book and by the odor of his feet. When he finally “proposes” to her, Belle is more appalled than ever, but keeps a cool face as she successfully tricks him into leaving her house while simultaneously telling him her words of rejection.

The things Gaston says, and even the things he DOESN’T explicitly say, and the way he acts, during these two scenes, combined with how he displays his own arrogance, narcissism, and superiority as a man, and as a person in general, provide enough information for me to decipher just how prejudiced he is when it comes to how he sees women. It is CRYSTAL clear to me that Gaston considers men to be the superior gender, that men are (and meant to be) better than women at anything and everything, not JUST physical strength. He believes that women will ALWAYS be beneath men, and that women should KNOW their place by being the inferior gender. As such, Gaston has absolutely NO respect for women at all! In fact, he doesn’t even have respect for other men, despite regarding the male gender as the superior one! The only person for whom he has ANY respect is HIMSELF!!! 😡 (As if that was hard to figure out, anyway! 😆)

As part of his belief that men are superior to women, Gaston sees women only as potential property for men. He sees them as nothing more than objects, as things, as possessions that are meant to belong to men. He does NOT see women as people who are capable of having or are meant to have their own individual personalities. In seeing them as men’s property, Gaston thinks that women are useless and worthless except for the only two significant purposes they have to men.

The first and primary purpose Gaston believes women have to men is being their servants, or, to a worse degree, their slaves. That means when it comes to the concept of marriage, Gaston sees it as the way for men to officially make women their own personal property. He believes that marriage is meant to be permanent, but in meaning that the woman becomes and forever remains the man’s property. As such, Gaston does not see marriage as a partnership based on love and devotion in which both the husband and wife have equal rights. Instead, he sees it as a relationship based on ownership of property, as a master/servant relationship, where the husband is the master and the wife is the servant. That means that married men are supposed to control their wives by giving them commands and orders. Married women are meant to ALWAYS obey commands their husbands give them without question or argument. In a marriage, women are supposed to be meek, passive, dutiful, and subservient. They must respect and honor their husbands (though men are not meant to reciprocate these same feelings) by doing whatever their husbands tell them to do. They are not supposed to be independent in any way or have their own minds. To Gaston, it is the woman’s job, and her job alone, to do all tasks and chores around the house without ANY help from the man.

The second purpose Gaston believes that women have to men, especially in married households, is giving them sex and bearing them children (even though he thinks the mother is the only parent meant to do the childrearing). And since married men are meant to be the masters in the relationship, married women must have sex with their husbands whenever their husbands want it. Even if they don’t want it at the same time, as long as the husbands want to have sex with them, then the women must ALWAYS comply.

So while he believes he has women’s places figured out in the world, especially in married households, like I said above, Gaston believes that men are supposed to be the masters, the bosses, of women, whose primary purpose is to serve their men. This means that only men are meant to be the ones “in charge”. They are meant to be the ones who take control of things. They are meant to be the dominant person in the relationship. As the ones in control, married men have the right to tell their wives what to do and treat them any way they want. Men are supposed to make all decisions, not just for themselves, but for their wives and children. Women (and even children) do not have any sort of rights, especially if they are married. They are not meant or allowed to have any say in the matter; their opinions are never important when it comes to making decisions. Women should never even bother to voice their own opinions, and they must never even speak at all unless their husbands speak to them first and/or give them permission to speak. Since men are supposed to be dominant and the women submissive, women must never, NEVER attempt to meet or rise above men’s level by defying them, disobeying them, or standing up to them, and that includes talking back to them! As part of Gaston’s belief that women must be dutiful and obedient to their their husbands, they are not allowed to ever do anything or make any decisions without their husbands’ approval or permission first. Whatever feelings, thoughts, and desires women have or may have, none of those should matter to their men. Men can always get what they want, and do what they want, whenever they want it. But the same does not, nor should it ever even, apply to women. Men do NOT need to ask their wives’ permission for something, but women always have to ask their husbands’ permission and earn it. If the man does not allow the woman to have what she wants, then she has to drop it all together.

So in summary, in Gaston’s eyes, women were put on the earth to be nothing more than mens’ slaves and sex partners. Women cannot, are not allowed, nor should they ever even try to do anything that is regarded as being stereotyped for men, and men only. They should never try to compete with men in any way, because men are the best gender and will forever be above women. To him, women are always meant to be seen and never heard; they should not be allowed to think or speak for themselves. This essentially means that Gaston thinks women should be brainless and be lacking in any kind of intelligence or intellect, which would explain why he is so dead set on trying to discourage Belle from reading. When in the presence of other people, be it just men or men and women together, women must keep their mouths shut at all times. They are NEVER supposed to speak at all unless spoken to first, and ONLY when a MAN speaks to them first, no less! And furthermore, when a man speaks to a woman first, she must ALWAYS answer immediately, without hesitation, and not keep the man or men who spoke to her waiting for long!

Is That a Challenge/Threat?

In the beginning of the film, Gaston becomes obsessively determined to marry Belle ONLY because she is regarded as the most beautiful women in town, which he shallowly believes THAT reason alone makes her the best woman. And since he is held in high regard as the best man in town, Gaston believes he is entitled to have the best woman (that being Belle) as his wife. Like he asks LeFou after declaring that Belle’s beauty is what makes her the best, “And don’t I deserve the best?”

But despite that, as I said earlier, I think Gaston considered Belle to be a challenge and a potential threat to himself, and to his gender entirely, because she is the EXACT antithesis of what he thinks women are meant to be. She is a portrait of EVERYTHING that he is AGAINST in women, everything he does not believe women should be, what with her outspoken, confident, intelligent, non-repressed, articulate, bold, independent, free-thinking nature.

The fact is, reading books so much over the years has given Belle a strong mind of her own. She is very smart and articulate with a wide range of vocabulary, an open, unbiased mind, and a confident, independent, outspoken nature regarding her opinions. Furthermore, due to her independence, Belle is also shown to be somewhat of a defiant rebel who resists being controlled, mistreated, and demeaned, and rarely likes being told what to do (all of which she displays when Gaston keeps trying to take her book away during their first meeting). The exceptions to this are Maurice since he always believed in her and accepted her for who she is unconditionally, and by the Beast once he learns to respect her and treat her as an equal. Belle is not at all like the other women in the village since she chooses to be who she wants to be instead of letting society mold her into becoming who she is expected to be. Even though she does want a friend, a confidant, someone to accept her for who she is, Belle is also comfortable enough in her own skin that she knows exactly who she is. She wants to remain true to herself, so she refuses to change. She is aware that the villagers think her unique and different personality makes her odd, but she doesn’t let their opinions influence her enough to make her want to change into the exact kind of woman they think she should be.

So the kind of personality Belle has makes her unconventional and atypical for a woman of her village, and for the film’s time period. Her vast intelligence and wit, along with her defiant, rebellious nature against Gaston, can make Belle, and her gender as a whole, look superior to a man like him, which contradicts his belief that women are and always will be inferior to men. Because she knows and is comfortable with who she is, Belle would undoubtedly NEVER project the kind of womanly image that Gaston would WANT her to project if she was his wife. She would never repress herself, nor pretend to be something she is not. She would never give up reading or voicing her own opinions. She would stand up to Gaston, rebel against him, and flatly refuse to do anything he tells her to do, given especially that he would only order and boss her around rather than politely and kindly ask her to do things.

Overall, Belle would never change who she is, so she would DEFINITELY refuse to ever do or be ANYTHING Gaston would want and expect of her. Not just as his wife, but as a woman entirely…and it’s not difficult to comprehend that he would ABSOLUTELY HATE that!

The fact that Belle is everything that Gaston does not like in a woman, does not think a woman should be (especially because she makes it appear that women can be equal to and even above men), and that she would resist changing her ways if he tried to get her to change is why I believe he saw her as a challenge and a potential threat. But he probably didn’t consider her a true threat or have any doubts that he could change her until after she rejected his marriage proposal, and this is especially due to the way she rejected him.

At the start of the film, since he had so many women in the village shallowly smitten with him simply due to his handsome face and muscular physique, I think when Gaston decided that he was going to marry Belle, he thought she would be just like them and fall for his “charms” right away. If she didn’t fall for him immediately (which he realized when she refused to go out with him), then she would eventually. While he knew she loved to read, Gaston was probably so confident that he could schmooze, seduce, and win Belle over that he also believed he could he easily sway and persuade her to give up reading. He believed he could convince her to (pardon the pun, if you please 😉) dumb herself down in order to mold her into the exact kind of woman he wants her to be as his “little wife”.

But Belle rebuffed Gaston’s advances, albeit politely, when she took her book back from his clutches and turned down going to the tavern with him. Like his face shows in the gif below, Gaston was frustrated and disappointed because Belle said “No.” He was unhappy that he didn’t get his way, that he totally failed at charming her and persuading her to stop reading since he was so confident things would go just how he wanted them to go. But despite his disappointment, I think that Gaston didn’t take Belle’s refusal TOO seriously. It’s likely he thought she was just playing a game with him, that she was just playing “hard to get” by rejecting a date with him, particularly because she did so in a gentle and polite manner. Now since this act made Belle the first woman to turn Gaston down, it may have made him consider her to be a challenge this early on. And yet he was apparently willing and unafraid to take her on as a challenge. Even though she had turned down going out with him, Gaston apparently remained confident that winning Belle’s heart was a challenge that he could definitely take down, one that he could easily overcome, one that he could (and would) win in the end.

And so how do I arrive at this conclusion? What’s my proof of this belief?

He organized an ENTIRE wedding outside of Belle’s house, complete with various decorations, a band, a wedding cake, and a priest to officiate the ceremony, BEFORE he even proposed to her! 😮😮😮

This move unequivocally meant that Gaston was WHOLLY confident, to the point of being EXTREMELY impulsive and arrogant, that his chances of winning Belle’s heart would succeed, which convinced him that she was (to some degree) in love with him.

Therefore, Gaston had an utmost expectation that Belle would absolutely, positively, DEFINITELY agree to become his wife! And given that all of the basic wedding necessities had been prearranged, Gaston not only expected that Belle would say “Yes”, but that she would be SO ecstatic by his proposal that she would agree to marry him on the spot! And so he set up the planned ceremony to surprise her, which would have allowed them to get married immediately after Gaston proposed and Belle accepted!

But OH, NO! That is NOT what happened AT ALL! Gaston turned out to be VERY wrong about Belle! 😆😆😆

Like I mentioned above, Belle turned down a date to the tavern with Gaston, but did so politely. However, despite saying polite, gentle words rather than rude, harsh ones when she turned down his proposal (”I’m very sorry, Gaston, but…but…I just don’t deserve you!”), it was more what she did, what with how she indirectly forced him out of her house, that made it clear to Gaston that this was a more blunt, flat-out rejection, that it was a definite, absolute “no”, that Belle was not at all interested in him.

Gaston learned the hard way that Belle was NOT in love with him and did NOT want to marry him…and THAT infuriated him to the core! 😠😤😡

Both times, but particularly how the proposal rejection was carried out, apparently made Belle the FIRST person who EVER gave Gaston an outright “no” as an answer! Gaston is clearly so blindly admired and loved by everyone else in the village, including by other women, that he has NEVER heard ANYONE tell him “No” about ANYTHING, most especially from a WOMAN! This is strongly indicated during his next scene, when he is at the tavern and still fuming over Belle’s rejection and says, “No one says ‘No’ to Gaston!”. Furthermore, Gaston’s massive ego, which is largely stemmed from the villagers’ admiration of him, has him SO convinced that he is the best of the best, and that NO ONE can surpass him OR refuse him for anything!

However, Belle’s proposal rejection completely disproved these beliefs because of the WAY she rejected Gaston, which she did at the same time she conned him into getting out of her house.

First, she played dumb by pretending to think about who the “little wife” would be when he asked her who she thought it would be.

Then she claimed to be speechless as she walked backwards towards her door, subtly but slyly luring him towards it, since he had been approaching her ever since he walked into her home, and she knew that he would corner her if she went there.

Finally, she opened the door so that she would catch him off guard (and off balance 😆), which would cause him to lose his footing and fall into the mud pond outside.

With this move, besides being the first person who gave him a flat refusal as an answer, Belle became the first person, and the first WOMAN, no less, who got the BEST of Gaston! Gaston had been TOTALLY unaware that, when he was following Belle towards the door and managed to pin her against it, she was actually leading him into a trap until it was too late. She was deceiving him to come towards the door so she could (literally) throw him out of her house. 😆😆😆

The way Belle had tricked Gaston into exiting her house shows that she had OUTSMARTED him, and in doing so, she made him look STUPID and FOOLISH in front of the whole town, something that has obviously NEVER happened to him before!!!

Remember, the kind of image that Gaston has to the public is that he is the best man in town. He is highly regarded and considered to be the strongest, handsomest, and most popular man. Thus, he sees himself, as does every other townsperson, as a winner who ALWAYS gets his way, who gets ANYTHING he wants WHENEVER he wants it.

But that is NOT what happened to him this time, OH NO!!! 😤😤😤

When Belle rejected Gaston’s proposal and manipulated him into leaving her house, she tarnished his image. She may have only tarnished it briefly, but still, she made him look bad, like a fool, in front of everyone, and there is no doubt in my mind that the villagers had NEVER seen Gaston FAIL or LOSE at anything prior to this moment!

Overall, just from this scene alone, Belle successfully tricking Gaston and rejecting his proposal made her (a woman) look superior to him (a man). With her intelligence and wit, she proved to him that women can sometimes outbest men, that the female gender as a whole should not be dismissed or viewed as inferior to men, and that women are capable of being equal to or even superior to men sometimes. Gaston gravely underestimated just how smart, witty, and clever Belle is. She stood up to him by showing no fear (though subtly) in letting him know that she was not at all interested in him, and so she ESPECIALLY did NOT want to marry him. As a result, Gaston had COMPLETELY failed in thinking that Belle would agree to marry him, and that he could get her to change her ways. The way she carried out her rejection of his proposal proved herself as being precisely what he dislikes in women and does not think they should be. As @silentviolin678​​ said to me, everything Gaston thinks a man stands for, he can see it in Belle, and he hates it. He only believes that a man can be like that, and he can’t handle the thought of a woman meeting his level, let alone above it!

Getting back to the proposal scene, before he even proposed to Belle, Gaston had organized the entire wedding outside of her house, with many, if not all, of the villagers present. When he fell out the door frame and into the mud pond outside after Belle opened it, the villagers were still there, waiting for the two to come out together. When they saw Gaston in the mud and noticed that Belle wasn’t with him (given that she slammed her door after she tossed Gaston’s boots out on her porch), they realized that she had turned him down. They realized that she tricked him and made him look like a loser who DOESN’T always get what he wants WHEN he wants it. What happened to Gaston proved to him that he had been totally wrong in his belief that he could charm Belle and that she would accept his proposal. Not a single thing had gone his way like he had wanted and planned.

With the townspeople having witnessed just what went wrong for him, Gaston was completely humiliated, and THAT, combined with his failed plans and him having been rejected by Belle, is why he was fuming as he walked away! 😡😡😡

Bound and Determined

So as I said before, Belle’s personality type, along with her rejection of Gaston’s proposal, what with how she successfully tricked him into exiting her house, which made her look so much better and smarter than him (which goes against his belief that men are and always will be superior to women), and embarrassed him in front of the villagers, makes it obvious to me that Gaston did see her as a challenge and a threat to himself, his gender, and his image.

Now he probably considered Belle to be a challenge once she turned down a date with him, yet didn’t take it very seriously. I think part of that is because it’s one thing to turn down a date, but to turn down a marriage proposal is an entirely different matter. Marriage is a permanent commitment, and more often than not, men who propose to women succeed at it. So even though Belle turned down going out with Gaston, he obviously thought she would NEVER turn an offer to marry him, given what bigger, permanent things a marriage would offer them (though only Gaston would get the benefits, of course)! Furthermore, since he thought that Belle was simply playing a game with him by refusing to go on a date, Gaston setting up the whole wedding under the assumption that she would accept was him wanting for the “game” to end and for him to finally win.

In other words, Gaston prearranging the wedding ceremony meant that he wanted to indirectly tell Belle that, one way or another, he will always win and get what he wants, so she must stop playing with him and allow him to win by agreeing to marry him.

But once she rejected his proposal, THAT was what made it clear to Gaston that Belle posed a SERIOUS challenge to him, to the point that he considered her a threat, too!

Regardless of all of that, almost immediately after she boots him (again, excuse the pun, but I just cannot resist! 😆) out of her house, Gaston grabs LeFou and says that, despite her refusal, he is not giving up and is determined to have Belle for his wife.

But then you may ask, if Gaston truly believed Belle posed a challenge to the point of being a major threat to him, then why did he STILL want to marry her? Why did he still want to make her his wife, given the way she rejected him by outsmarting and embarrassing him, thus making him look like a loser in front of the townspeople?

I think it was because of Gaston’s senses of entitlement and superiority. Like I’ve said before, he sees himself as the best of the best, as a winner who always gets what he wants. As part of his superiority, including with his beliefs that men are the superior gender, Gaston LOVES to get his own way. He feels entitled to have things his way any time, and probably so because he has always gotten his way without any hitches. So he cannot stand or tolerate it when things don’t go his way at all (as is the case with Belle rejecting a date with him, then rejecting his proposal). The film portrays Gaston as arrogant, proud, egotistical, and narcissistic to such extremes that he has a superiority complex. The fact that the villagers praise and admire him for all of his “good” traits has enhanced Gaston’s belief and inflated his ego that he sees himself as a winner, that he ALWAYS has come out on top and win the prize!

During his first scene, when Gaston decided that Belle was the woman he was going to marry, his mind was made up. Since he believed that her beauty alone made her the best woman in the village, he saw it fitting that he, the best man in the village, was the only man who deserved her. Being the town’s best-looking woman, Belle was considered by Gaston to the ultimate prize for him as the town’s best-looking man, so he had this concept that having her as his wife would cement his place in the village as the best man. Anyway, as I said, when Gaston decided that he was going to marry Belle, he had made his decision, and he was never going to change it. This shows that Gaston is the kind of person who is far too stubborn and persistent to reconsider things once he is set in a decision. When he makes up his mind about something, that’s it. His decision is final. He absolutely refuses to change his mind. And regardless of what happens, even if and when he is unable to get what he wants immediately, Gaston won’t let anything stand in his way or stop him from getting what he is pursuing. He obstinately and stubbornly refuses to give up and will continue to fight to get what it is that he wants UNTIL he gets it, and ALL because he has this deep-rooted need to win! Gaston’s persistence to win is such that he will go to great lengths and sink so low to ensure that he wins. He will literally stop at nothing to get whatever it is that he sets out to get, even if it means resorting to cheating and dishonesty just to get it. This means that Gaston does not care about fairness, justice, or playing by the rules unless it benefits himself.

After his marriage proposal was rejected, Gaston’s pride was dented and his image was tarnished. While he still wanted to marry Belle because of his belief that “she’s the most beautiful girl in town, and that makes her the best, so only I deserve her”, his determination to win, to get his own way, became the stronger motive over his motive of getting “the best of the best”. Gaston’s failure in winning Belle’s heart, his rejection by her, and being humiliated in front of the townspeople made him look like a total loser. So he developed a compulsive, relentless need to fix that by marrying her anyway, which would prove to them, to Belle, and even to himself, that he ALWAYS wins. In the end, Gaston ALWAYS gets what he wants simply because he truly IS a winner. Winning and coming out on top as the best is everything to him, which is a huge part of his public image and feeds his massive ego. Gaston cannot stand the idea of failing or losing, and so being denied, rejected, refused, and being told “no” in any way, shape, or form for something he wants and on which he sets his sights is considered losing. Hearing “no” as answer is something to which he is EXTREMELY intolerant and finds ABSOLUTELY unacceptable! Like he himself said while at the tavern in his next scene, “No one says ‘No’ to Gaston!”! But Gaston’s desire to marry Belle despite her refusal was more than just to prove to everyone that he always wins in the end. Because she had hurt his pride and dignity with the rejection, he wanted to marry Belle to satisfy and heal his ego, to preserve, protect, and enhance his place as the most admired man in town. With the kind of status Gaston has amongst the villagers, having Belle, who is the most beautiful woman in town, as his wife would completely secure his place in the village, AND further make him the envy of everyone. 

Gaston’s fixation on his remaining desire to marry Belle turned into a deep obsession that he was starting to lose his mind. In other words, he was slowly being driven to insanity because she already said “No”, but he obstinately refused to accept that as a final answer. Gaston did not care that Belle didn’t want to marry him, because it wasn’t at all about what SHE wanted; only what HE wanted. Gaston just HAD to win by succeeding in his goal to marry Belle, and he was never going to stop until he got what he wanted. One way or another, Gaston was going to have things his way by marrying Belle, regardless of what she thought or how she felt!

In fact, now that I think of it, remember after Gaston falls into the mud pond, there is a pig on top of his head when he emerges from it? This was done as an inside joke to the term “pig-headed”, which is used to describe someone who is obstinate and stubborn to the point of stupidity. Perhaps this was done as a way to foreshadow how obstinate and stubborn Gaston becomes during the course of the movie with him keeping his mind set on marrying Belle, even after she rejected and humiliated him. 😉

The Man and the Monster

So like I said, his obsession with making Belle his wife began to consume Gaston that he started to lose his sanity. Winning her hand in marriage was the only thing on which he began to focus that he presumably all but ignored everything else he normally did or thought about until got his wish. And since a simple proposal did not win Belle’s approval, Gaston decided to resort to more forceful, drastic, and sadistic, measures to achieve his goal. Once Maurice was mocked and jeered by Gaston and the other townsfolk for his claims about Belle being held captive by the Beast, and due to everyone else already having regarded Maurice as a crazy lunatic, Gaston came up with his idea to blackmail Belle into marrying him. Knowing how much Belle loves and is protective of her father, he believed she would do anything to keep him from being locked up. So Gaston decided to blackmail Belle with a threat of having Maurice thrown into the asylum owned by Monsieur D’Arque…but if she agreed to marry him, Maurice would be a free man.

We don’t see it on screen, but between when he left LeFou at Belle’s house and until Belle and Maurice finally came home, Gaston was probably growing impatient, waiting for them to return so he could finally set his plan in motion and hear Belle finally say “Yes”. While his confidence that Belle would accept his proposal (what with how he organized the prearranged wedding outside her house) had been shattered, it was all too obvious that Gaston was FAR MORE confident that this plan would NOT fail at all since it involved an ultimatum. He believed that Belle would be left with no choice but to give a positive response to his desire that she would marry him just to ensure that her father would not be taken away.

When Maurice is being carried off by D’Arque’s men and towards their carriage, Gaston slinks out of the shadows and tells Belle he will clear up the “misunderstanding” about her father…if she marries him. Horrified and disgusted, Belle again refuses to marry Gaston, and in his anger at being rejected by once more, Gaston allows Maurice to be dragged away. However, using the magic mirror the Beast had given to her before she left his castle, Belle reveals the existence of the Beast to the villagers. Gaston grows even more frustrated after his whole plan fails and is shocked that Maurice was indeed telling the truth. But when Belle begins referring to the Beast as her “kind and gentle friend”, Gaston grows increasingly jealous, realizing that she prefers a “monster” over himself. When he calls Belle out for having feelings for an ugly monster like the Beast, she angrily defends the latter and retorts back to Gaston that he is the real monster. This proves to be the final straw for Gaston, as he finally snaps, calling Belle as crazy as her father and quickly convinces the villagers that the Beast is a threat to them and must be destroyed immediately. So he leads a mob to the castle, telling them to take down what they find while he takes on the Beast himself.

Now the actions and words exchanged between Gaston and Belle in this entire scene provides a lot more information for me to interpret with what they are really thinking and feeling, especially because they both reach their tipping points and snap. With Belle, when Gaston tells her he will have Maurice be set free as long as she agrees to marry him, Belle says “WHAT?!” in a very shocked tone of voice. The way she speaks and even the look she has on her face as she says it tells me that Belle has realized that Gaston set this whole thing up with Monsieur D’Arque and his men. She is completely disgusted to learn that Gaston still wants to marry her, even though she made it VERY clear from her earlier rejection that she does NOT reciprocate his feelings and does NOT want to be with him! But Belle is also appalled that Gaston has stooped so low by resorting to blackmail just to have his way by marrying her! When he says, “One little word, Belle. That’s all it takes.”, Gaston wraps his arm around Belle and gets up in her face, as if he’s trying to be smooth and sweet-talk her into finally saying “Yes”. Also, given that he gets so up close to her face makes it appear that he is waiting for a kiss from her to seal the deal. However, Belle, who is further disgusted by Gaston making more advances on her by “affectionately” TOUCHING her, roughly PUSHES Gaston’s face away from her with both of her hands, allowing her to be removed from his “embrace”, and shouts “NEVER!” Belle’s rejective answer and gesture of pushing him away angers Gaston so much that he responds, “Have it your way!”

When Belle reveals that the Beast is real, everyone is horrified upon seeing him, but Belle tries to assure them that the Beast is her friend and is not at all dangerous despite his monstrous, hideous appearance. But when Gaston grabs her by her shoulders and accuses her of being in love with a monster instead of a man like himself, Belle becomes even more shocked and furious by this insult. She pulls herself away to get Gaston’s hands off her (again, showing her disgust at being touched by him) before she snaps back that HE is the real monster. Belle’s anger and offense over the Beast being dubbed a monster by Gaston, and her retort that the latter the real monster, shows that she has reached her tipping point. But it’s not just because the Beast has been insulted; her rage at Gaston shows that she is COMPLETELY fed up with him! She has had ENOUGH of him! Like I said above, Belle had realized that Gaston had arranged for her father to be taken to the asylum unless she caved in and agreed to marry him (Gaston). She was so repulsed that Gaston resorted to using this kind of force to make her change her mind when she made it clear to him before that she does NOT want to be with him! And NOW Gaston had the nerve to insult the Beast, the only real friend Belle has, and has ever had, and all JUST because of his appearance, while knowing NOTHING about him at all like she does!

With Gaston, he becomes very frustrated when Belle rejects his offer to let Maurice go if she marries him, proves the Beast is real, meaning that her father’s claims have been true all the time, and when she insults him after he insults the Beast. Why? Because Belle has AGAIN gotten the best of him AND humiliated him in front of the whole town! Once more, Gaston’s plan to get Belle to marry him has TOTALLY FAILED! He has again been proven wrong that he would get what he wanted. He has again realized the hard way that he was wrong about Belle, and about the Beast once Belle revealed him. With this plan having fallen apart, too, Gaston’s anger slowly starts to rise when Belle describes the Beast in a positive way. The way she speaks so fondly of him, regardless of his ugly exterior, makes Gaston realize that Belle is in love with the Beast, which fills him up with jealousy and rage. But he’s not simply jealous and angry because Belle loves someone else; it’s that she prefers a monstrous-looking CREATURE over a good-looking HUMAN like himself. Gaston cannot stand or tolerate the fact that this “monster” is his competitor, his rival, the one who poses a threat to him in trying to win Belle’s heart. His intolerance proves just how shallow Gaston is, because he only sees what is on the exterior, so it’s why he dismisses the Beast as nothing but a monster! In fact, when he is called the true monster as opposed to the Beast, like @silentviolin678​​ and I agreed, Gaston reaches his tipping point and snaps because he is EXTREMELY offended that he, a handsome man, has been compared to a hideous beast…and ESPECIALLY so because Belle has insulted him in front of the villagers!

Belle has tarnished Gaston’s image, dented his pride, and hurt his ego again by hurling this kind of insult at him, which is even worse than her refusing to marry him and outwitting him front of everyone for a second time!

When Gaston declares that he will kill the Beast, and especially when he shouts “The Beast is MINE!”, it’s not difficult to realize why he makes this decision. Although he easily convinces the villagers that the Beast is a danger to them, this is not at all what Gaston really believes. Gaston wants to kill the Beast, and do it all by himself, because he sees him as being in the way of what he wants, that being Belle, and so he takes this VERY personally. Gaston cannot and will NOT tolerate the idea of losing Belle to this “monster”, and he absolutely refuses to let there be a chance of it happening! So he plots to eliminate the Beast in order to make Belle his once and for all. Now of course, Gaston remains aware that Belle will never love him and never agree to marry him. But again, it all comes down to his deep-seated need and desire, his feelings of superiority and entitlement, to get what he wants, to come out on top, to win.

By this point in the film, Gaston’s obsession to marry Belle and rage over her love of the Beast, and not him, has consumed him that his desire to win is stronger than ever. He may be a man on the outside, but like Belle so correctly described him, Gaston has turned into an insane, sadistic, ruthless, murderous monster.

When Gaston finally finds the Beast in the West Wing, he fires an arrow into him, tosses him out of the window onto a lower section of the roof and taunts him, trying to get him to fight. The Beast doesn’t respond or try to fight back, having lost his will to live since Belle’s departure. So Gaston breaks off a nearby castle statue to use it as a makeshift club to try to kill the Beast. Just as he is about to deliver the first blow, Belle arrives outside the castle and calls up to Gaston. Seeing Belle again regains the Beast’s strength and he grabs the club, growling viciously and fighting back with great strength and animal ferocity, much to Gaston’s sudden surprise.

Gaston quickly discovers that he cannot rely on brute strength alone to kill the Beast. So instead, having correctly deduced that the Beast is in love with Belle, he taunts him to anger him and bring him out of hiding, saying that Belle would never love a monster since she already had a man like him (Gaston). This draws the Beast out of his hiding spot, and the two resume fighting. Gaston pushes the final button by saying that Belle belongs to HIM. The remark draws the Beast’s ire more than ever, and he furiously head-butts Gaston in the chest, disarming him, then grabs and holds him by the throat above the castle moat. With his life at stake, Gaston reveals his cowardly side, abandoning his pride and pathetically begging for mercy. So the Beast relents and gruffly orders Gaston to get out and never return.

However, when Gaston recovers his strength, he looks up to see the Beast climbing the castle wall towards the West Wing’s balcony to reunite Belle. Seeing the two lovers approach each other makes him more jealous and furious than ever. Still refusing to lose Belle to this “monster”, Gaston follows the Beast, fiercely determined to kill him once and for all. As the Beast and Belle embrace, Gaston takes them by total surprise when he plunges the entire blade of his knife into the Beast’s back while dangling unsteadily from the balcony. Before he can deliver a second blow, the Beast swings his arm backward at him in pain. While trying to dodge it, Gaston suddenly loses his balance, falls off the castle, and screams at the top of his lungs as he plunges down into the abyss below to his death.

Now I said recently that Gaston’s pride, prejudice, and arrogance ultimately proved to be his downfall. In the moments before his death, he becomes so caught up in trying to kill his enemy that he appears to be paying no attention to his surroundings. When Gaston stabbed the Beast, given his dangerous, unsteady position of dangling from the balcony, he was probably more desperate and determined than ever to kill him, to eliminate his competition, that he didn’t even notice where he was and the danger in which he had put himself. Of course, there is still a chance that Gaston did realize this, but didn’t care. If he didn’t care, then I believe it was because by that point, he honestly felt that if HE couldn’t have Belle, then NO ONE could…but especially not a hideous monster like the Beast!

While Gaston would die all alone that night, the Beast would succumb to the injury Gaston had inflicted on him. But Belle confessed her love for him before the final petal fell off the rose, and he was revived in his human prince form. The prince had gone from monster to man thanks to the influence of Belle and their love for each other, while Gaston has gone from man to monster due to his twisted obsession with Belle.

All things considered, Gaston learned the hard way (in fact, much too late) that pride LITERALLY and TRULY comes before a fall. 😉

Conclusion

And so there you have it with my thoughts on Gaston’s sexist, misogynistic views about women, superior beliefs about men, and how he considered Belle to be a challenge and a threat, but still wanted to marry her, and regardless of her refusals!

I tell you, Gaston may be my least favorite Disney animated villain, but like with any analysis I write, it WAS a lot of fun writing about him and deciphering his prejudicial views about women while considering men to be superior to women. But I guess this is why I enjoy studying villains as a whole AND individually. You see, I love villains because there can be so much psychological depth to them. A lot of them share the same personality traits but to different levels. A lot of them share the same motives, but for different reasons. Now it’s not like ALL good stories NEED a villain, but I think having a villain in a story can add conflict, buildup, and challenges for the hero, one that he/she must overcome and achieve his/her goal by the end. And sometimes, the challenges and conflicts that are brought in by the presence of the villain can even add excitement to the story. All in all, lots of good stories feature the protagonists achieving his/her goals and having a happy ending, while the villains face justice and punishment for their crimes. On occasion that the villains do die in their stories, it can still come out as poetic justice for their misdeeds.

So thank you all for reading this MONSTER of an analysis about Gaston and his prejudicial thoughts and beliefs, which is an even more monstrous analysis than my beloved “When Megara Met Hercules”! Until next time, happy reading, and have a wonderful day! 😁😁😁

[imagitory]

Favorite twst boys?

Oooohoohoo, you wish me to talk about my Night Raven College baes? Let’s see then...

Ace Trappola ~ Okay, so I should admit right off the bat that I have a huge soft spot for the Heartslabyul dorm in particular. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll are one of my favorite things ever, and so most adaptations of those works tend to give me some amount of glee, even the really flawed ones. But for Ace specifically, it took me a little while to warm up to him, given that he can be a real prat, but once he and Deuce really rallied around Yuu (especially when they dropped everything on their winter break and took the bus all the way back to school during the Scarabia incident to try to rescue them and Grim -- MY HEART!!!), I fully adopted Ace as my second trash son and that was that. I also loved Ace’s development in the Ghost Bride story line, as well as his admittedly harsh, but still rather fair tear-down of Riddle immediately pre-Overblot. Ace can be really harsh sometimes, but that also makes him an incredibly honest sort who won’t take anyone else’s bull and won’t let anyone push him around -- yet at the same time, he’s also lighthearted enough that he never takes himself too seriously. In some ways he kind of reminds me of Jounouchi Katsuya from Yu-Gi-Oh!, and that’s definitely a compliment.

Deuce Spade ~ MY ORIGINAL TRASH SON. I loved Deuce pretty much from the get-go, considering how passionate he was about trying to fix the mistake with the chandelier and how adorable he was casting the only magic he could manage (“COME FORTH, CAULDRON!” XDD). Then there was the whole “chick” incident where we not only saw his delinquent side which he tries so desperately to hide on full display for the first time, but we also got to see how much he truly loves his mom and how friggin’ stupid and yet absolutely sincere he is, and I just fell in love with Deuce even more. The Wish Upon a Star event where we learn Deuce wants to basically be this world’s equivalent of a sheriff after having been such a delinquent in his younger years only made me feel all the more for this guy -- him wanting to be so much better than he was even if he’s not the smartest, strongest, or most talented guy around I find so compelling and likable.

Riddle Rosehearts ~ Yeah, I know, a lot of Heartslabyul love, but like with Ace, it took me a LONG while to warm up to Riddle. I thought he was a total jerk and I wanted nothing more than to give him a good telling-off (“go ahead, use that stupid collar on me -- I don’t have magic for you to block, you bullying prat!”) until Ace got around to punching Riddle in the face and then tearing him a verbal new one for me. It honestly took Riddle’s Overblotting for me to feel the least bit sorry for him, but it was how sincerely he acted after the fact in trying to make up for his mistakes that really softened my heart to him. Riddle has lived his whole life following rules and convention to the letter, and it’s made him miserable, so now that he’s come to grips with the fact that he doesn’t need to be miserable in order to live an upstanding life, he’s softened a bit. Even with this, though, that rule-abiding, upstanding attitude isn’t always hard to shake, and I think it makes for a much more balanced outcome than if Riddle just went hog-wild and stopped caring about everything -- because the whole reason Riddle followed the rules so closely is he wanted to do what was best for all and to be the best he could be, too. His motivation for being so strict came from a deep passion for leadership and order, and I’m glad that passion of Riddle’s wasn’t dampened, but instead given nuance. Now he can focus his passion more effectively, rather than lashing out in all directions indiscriminately. Like Ace as well, I loved Riddle’s development in the Ghost Marriage plot line, particularly his individual side story with Malleus. It really showcased Riddle’s noblesse oblige moral code, which I personally find the most compelling and likable aspect of his personality.

Jack Howl ~ JACK IS A GOOD BOY. Anyone who disagrees can fight me. (LOL, not really, but...) Like with Deuce, I liked Jack pretty much immediately. From the start, he just came across as so much more down-to-earth and honest than either of the other two main characters from Savanaclaw (even if Jack is also a total tsundere, but honestly, if you’ve watched any kind of anime, you’re fluent enough in “tsundere” as a language to know exactly what Jack really thinks of something). He was sort of depicted as a black sheep in his own dorm, and -- honestly? -- I’m a sucker for characters that are sort of on the fringes and don’t quite conform to what people expect them to be. Add to that how passionate Jack is about working hard and being the best he can be in his own right, as well as how deathly loyal he is, and he’s just overall a character I would love being friends with.

Jamil Viper ~ Jamil was the first character who Overblots who I actually felt sympathy for long before we see his side of the story in flashback form. Part of this admittedly is because I could sort of see where Jamil and Kalim’s story was going ahead of time, but the other reason is that I could see how much work Jamil put in all the time. Even though yeah, it was a real dick move to try to foist out Kalim so he could become Head of Scarabia instead, and yes, he manipulated things to make everyone see Kalim as cruel and irrational, it doesn’t change the fact that Jamil still acted like a Dorm Head a lot more than Kalim did a lot of the time, in the sense of making sure things run smoothly. Kalim definitely brings amazing enthusiasm to Scarabia as its leader and inspires a lot of positive feelings in the people around him, but if there’s a problem, it’s Jamil who often ends up fixing it, not Kalim. And from the start, I really felt for this guy who Kalim -- simply due to privilege -- didn’t seem to acknowledge he was demanding so much of, without receiving the same kind of attention and appreciation in return. I never disliked Kalim for this, because I could tell Kalim didn’t mean it maliciously and admittedly Jamil really should’ve said something since Kalim adores Jamil and would have likely been more than receptive to hearing what he had to say...but at the same time, given their power imbalance, it’s also not completely unsurprising that Jamil didn’t feel like he could say something. The best part about Jamil for me, at least, ended up coming out after he was allowed to finally speak his mind. Yeah, maybe he’s a little meaner now. Yeah, maybe he’s not so patient or amiable now. But he’s also allowed to show more of that deep, searing passion and ambition he’s been bottling up for so long. I loved seeing how much he enjoys dancing and performing through the Fairy Gala event and the recent Pomefiore chapter. I’ve loved how thoroughly (and pretty justifiably) distrustful he is of Azul. I’ve loved how he’s sort of on the fence emotionally about looking after Kalim the way he used to and making sure Kalim doesn’t expect his service the way he subconsciously did before. Jamil is one of the TWST characters who surprised me the most in how much I enjoy him, and I honestly can’t wait to see how much more he grows.

Epel Felmier ~ I WILL PROTECT THIS BOY, OKAY. Not because he’s delicate-looking, but because damn it, if he wants to eat macaroons and steak with the wrong fork, then he should be allowed to just go out and do it. I absolutely love the contrasts we’ve already seen in Epel so far. For as sweet and bishounen as his face is, he has a real rough, informal side fitting his background as a kid from the country, and yet he also has his “Prince Charming” moments too. He completely on his own comes up with the idea to arrive riding a horse when trying to impress the Bride during the Ghost Marriage event, and yet he’ll also tear into a bunch of ghosts who dare mistake him for a girl. Epel reminds me of a friend of mine from high school who also was a lot gruffer and more cynical than his short height and cute face would suggest, and it makes for a very interesting character, I think. You can’t pin this kid down or put him in a single box, and I think that’s awesome.

Vil Schoenheit ~ All right. Before the Pomefiore chapter, I thought there was no way in Hell that I would ever warm up to Vil. His slapping of people’s butts in the Fairy Gala event, his superficial focus on exterior beauty, and his bullying, condescending attitude toward Epel in particular really made me dislike him from the get-go. But then the Pomefiore chapter started and we reached the auditions...and I found myself agreeing with just about every critique he made, in contrast to Rook’s sunnier, fawning reviews. It made me feel like I was watching American Idol or America’s Got Talent and agreeing with Simon Cowell (which I honestly almost always did, whenever I watched those!). And as the Pomefiore chapter’s unfolded, I’ve seen that fascinating contrast in Vil. Yes, he’s very superficial -- but his dream is to act and be an idol, and in that world of celebrity, appearances are important. Yes, he’s very conceited -- but he’s also an incredibly hard worker who’s put in a lot of effort to improve himself and his talents to the point that he should be proud of them. Yes, he’s almost cruel in how relentlessly he pushes people -- but he never holds anyone to a standard he wouldn’t also expect of himself. Yes, he’s very forceful and sees his way as the only way -- but he does truly want those people to succeed in his own weird way, even if he can’t properly express it. Not to mention the fact that he’s constantly typecast as villainous characters, and he just wants to be a hero who makes it to the final curtain call!! My heart!! It’s made it so that like with Jamil, I’ve found sympathy for Vil long before he Overblots, and so I’m all the more eager to see how both the Overblot itself and its aftermath impacts Vil as a character and his relationships with the other characters.

Malleus Draconia ~ Oh, come on, who doesn’t love Tsunotaro? This precious child needs all of the love and party invitations in the world! (And yes, he may be an immortal fae, but he’s still a precious child to me, so there.) I would totally love chatting about gargoyles and grotesques with him. X3

[thewatermelloncat]

Powers Against the Father (Allison and Klaus)

Luther, Diego, Five, Ben, Vanya

Author’s Note: This one’s a little different. I combined Allison and Klaus into the same edition since this way I could create a more in-depth story. It might be a little hard to follow, though I tried to explain it as best I could in the story, but in quick summary: 

The siblings want to stop their father making a deal with a company who wants to hire them to steal artefacts from indigenous cultures for a museum exhibit.

Hope that helps ease confusion.

Warnings: Possibly one mild swear word.

Tag list: 

@lunamusamelark

@ll-short-breadstikz-ll

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“I don’t understand why Five can’t do it!” Klaus whispers harshly to his siblings as they stand in formation outside the door of their father’s office. Watching him greet the owner of a museum who has arrived for an off-the-record meeting.

“And hide where, Klaus?” Five whispers back to him. “You know dad has cameras everywhere, even in the cupboards.”

“I know you don’t want to do this, but you’re our only hope” Allison tells him from his other side.

“Our only hope” Klaus chuckles to himself, “how cliché.”

Before the conversation can continue their father steps forward with their guest and introduces each of them, giving a brief rundown of their powers. Sounding like he’s boasting but disappointed in them all the same. When it gets to each of their turns to be introduced, some of them smile out of politeness but Klaus averts his eyes and stares down at his hands fidgeting in front of him.

After their introductions are finished, their father dismisses them and invites the museum representative into his office to discuss business with him. When the door closes, they all relax their posture and form into a tight group as they make their way through the hallway away from the office.

“The whole mission is wrong; even the guy seems like a pompous arsehole” Vanya keeps her voice low as to not be heard by the adults through the wall.

“And since when are we in the business of stealing?” Allison adds.

“The old man probably just wants to keep some of the artefacts for himself” Diego points out and various hums sound from around the group.

“What’s so bad about it anyway?” Klaus asks. “Isn’t it the point that people can learn about the cultures in the exhibit? Learning is good isn’t it?”

“Oh, so stealing artefacts from them is okay then?” Allison’s voice drips in sarcasm and her hair swishes violently as she turns the corner, Luther leading them into a room near by the office.

“Come on, Klaus” Five begs, “I for one don’t want to go back to the ideals of colonialism.”

“What about you?” Klaus turns to Luther who took the lead in the siblings settling down on a range of furniture in the centre of the room. “You’re normally daddy’s right-hand man and you’re being awfully silent. Why aren’t you arguing about this?”

“Because I agree with it” Luther admits and Klaus’ fear sinks deeper into him.

“Klaus, we’re all against it and we know you are too” Ben says. “We know you don’t want to do it, but we’ll all be right here with you.”

“But using our powers against dad?” Klaus tries in vain.

“Oh, come on! We do it all the time” Diego reminds him. “Allison’s already agreed to her part if it comes down to it, and who are you to pass up an opportunity to mess with dad?”

Klaus draws in a deep breath tangling his hands in his hair. “All right, you’ve sold me. But it’s going to cost me greatly, emotionally.”

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Chairs creak as their occupants shift in them nervously, watching Klaus intently. His face is white and he would be sitting so still he may as well be a statue, if it weren’t for him shaking in fear. Behind his eyelids they can all see his eyes moving frantically, not wanting to see the ghosts he conjures. That’s the one solace to the plan, he doesn’t have to look at them, only hear them.

Still the sound of their voices, or maybe it is just their presence, makes him shake. Though he’s unaware of it, his siblings gradually place their hands on him as if they can hold him together. Of course, with the exception of Luther who is analysing the situation closely and Five who just doesn’t like physical contact, but they remain close by.

Klaus can’t hear the creaking of the chairs now that he has traded his hearing in the corporal plane for the depths of the realm of the dead. Only hearing the sounds of the ghosts yammering to him, screaming at him, until he can get them to settle down and hear him out. It may be his desperation to get this over with, but he manages to give out his instructions relatively quickly and feels their presence shift off into his father’s office.

Everything Klaus can hear through the ghosts he has stationed around his father’s desk sounds like it is underwater. Sometimes the connection cuts out for a few seconds and he wonders why they can be so loud in his ears when he doesn’t want them there, but so quiet when he needs them the most. He knows his father’s solution would be for him to practice more. Though he can understand enough to know when the earliest opportunity comes for him to tap out, and he takes it.

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The breath he draws in when he surfaces is so deep that he would have fallen out of his chair if it weren’t for his siblings’ hands on him. Opening his eyes, he sees most of them huddled around him, Five and Luther stepping forward to close the gaps in the group.

None of them speak, waiting for him to make the first move. Initially he can’t find any words to speak and shakes his head while he slowly formulates them together. His siblings are happy to wait for him, watching him with varying looks of concern.

“They’re making a deal that dad can keep some of the artefacts” is all he can manage in the end. He wants to say more but he can’t function well enough with the voices of ghosts still echoing in his head.

Collectively his siblings sigh in a mix of defeat and frustration, Diego not even bothering to point out that he called it. Allison is the first one to pop up from the hanging heads, standing up and brushing off her skirt. “Right. Let’s get to it.”

Her words spark the group into action and they all, aside from Klaus, stand from their chairs and form a huddle.

Though they already know the plan, Luther runs them through it. “Vanya, Diego, go distract mum.”

They both nod and leave the room for the kitchen where they are sure they will find her. “How long do you need?” Vanya asks Allison as she brushes past her.

“Five minutes will probably do” she says.

“Keep her as long as you can” Luther instructs, which is probably unnecessary since Grace isn’t likely to interrupt them anyway, it’s just that they don’t want to risk it. “Ben, you stay with Klaus.”

Ben nods to him and sits back down next to Klaus who is no longer paying attention, before Luther gives out his last instruction. “Five, Allison, you’re with me.”

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Allison knows she isn’t as nervous as she should be. By far her and her siblings haven’t had the most normal of childhoods, but she knows that manipulating your parents isn’t considered appropriate.

Neither of the boys either side of her say anything as they walk down the hallway. She prefers it that way, giving her time rehearse the correct words to say to her father. Though in theory they should come to her easily now with all the training she’s been put through.

Coming to stop in front of the office door they look to each other and nod before Luther knocks on the polished wood.

Behind the door they can hear their father’s muffled voice complaining before angry footsteps make their way to the door. In preparation the three of them step back before the door swings open.

“What is the meaning of this?” their father hisses lowly at them.

“Mum is malfunctioning, sir” Luther lies far too easily for someone who often follows the rules.

“I have an important guest around. I will deal with it later” he snaps at them, his eyes flicking back to his guest standing alone by the mantelpiece. “In the meantime, shut her down.”

“We have tried already, sir. We didn’t want to disturb you if we didn’t need to” Five continues the lie. “We think it may be a loose wire in the control panel.”

Their father sighs deeply, seeming to buy into their lie as he internally debates which action to take.

“Five and I can show the representative around” Luther persuades. “Surely he’d like to see your collection of souvenirs from your travels in Africa.”

“Most certainly I would” the representative says, now standing in the centre of the room listening into their conversation. “We were just talking about your travels there, weren’t we Reginald?”

“Yes, that we were” Reginald replies, voice sounding distant as he thinks. “Very well then” he settles turning back to their guest. “I must apologise, I have a matter I must attend to. My children Number 1 and Number 5 will show you to the artefacts.”

Allison has to bite back a smirk at the distaste in which her father says ‘children.’ He must really want this deal if he’s putting up the front of a caring and attentive father. It’s gong to make it so much sweeter for her to break.

As their father and Luther trade places on either side of the office door, Luther flicks her a look with a nod of his head which she knows to mean good luck. She nods back to him before he turns around to follow Five already over shaking the representative’s hand, feigning politeness though Allison can see it’s completely conceited.

After her father follows along behind her, her face breaks out in a smile which she hopes he can’t see. This is all in her hands now.

She can feel adrenaline starting to pulse more heavily in her veins as she leads the way in rounding the corner to the main staircase. When they step out into the open space, she stops in front of him halting her father in his tracks.

His noise of startlement and frustration is ignored and before he can speak Allison beats him to it.

“I heard a rumour, that you refuse to take the deal.”

Her father freezes in his movements and his eyes glaze over as the words persuade him. Without a word he abruptly turns on his heels and marches back towards his office. Allison quickly follows after him, barely keeping up with his long strides.

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Both Allison and Luther have to bite their lips against smiling as the museum representative rages at their father who seems utterly confused as to why he is not taking up the deal. Five stands with them off to the side, neutral faced. Already a master of controlling his expressions, though Allison can see a bright glint in his eyes.

They watch in amusement as the representative angrily shoves his papers back into his briefcase mumbling incomprehensibly about how confused he is as to why his nearly-to-be business partner backed out of the deal so suddenly. With a final clap of the briefcase closing and the latches snapping shut, he huffs and storms out of the room. Their father being the supposed proper gentlemen follows behind him to see him out, ignoring the complaints of the representative that he can find his own way.

The arguing of the two men draws the siblings out from their various places. Five, Luther and Allison follow behind them out of the office, stopping at the top of the stairs where they can see Diego and Vanya standing downstairs in the foyer beneath the door to the kitchen. Both looking at each other and trying not to laugh.

Looking back up across the railing to the other side of the staircase, Allison spots Ben leading Klaus out of the room they had settled in, dragging him by his arm. She’s glad to see that Klaus looks a lot brighter now, and when he looks up from watching their father disappear out of sight, he smiles at her.

She can’t help but beam back at him, throwing in a cheeky wink for good measure.

[boundinshallows]

Peaky Rare Pair Bingo Mid-Fest Round-Up

We started the Peaky Blinders Rare Pair Bingo Challenge back in July and still have a few weeks left. However, I thought it would be a great time to do a mid-fest round-up to catch folks up on what’s been written so far. 

Rare Pairs are tricky things. They’re rare because they don’t get a lot of fanworks produced about them. And in turn, sometimes the authors don’t get a lot of love on their fics because the audiences are limited. It becomes a vicious cycle, and in the end, fandom suffers because there's an overrepresentation of just a few pairings, but many amazing characters to love and explore. 

I would like to invite you all to take a look at some truly incredible pieces of fic for some much undervalued pairings in Peaky Blinders. If you have a moment, please leave the authors a comment to keep fueling their creativity, even if it’s brief, especially if you like the ship. Kudos are wonderful too, but comments really help writers know there’s an audience out there looking for rare pair content. 

Cheers! 

++++++++++

 Chester Campbell / Tommy Shelby

Shameless by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy has his usual meeting with Campbell in a café but decides to spice it a bit up.

Tatiana Petrovna / Alfie Solomons

Solnishko by Valkrist || [ E ] There was something lovely about all the movements, about kneading the dough, while listening to some radio shows, shaking one’s hand and laughing about the people and music the whole time. As stupid as it could be, Alfie didn’t like to be interrupted during this process. There was only one exception, only one person that could call him or come in without having to deal with his grumpiness.

Vivid by Strawberriez8800 || [ E ] In which Alfie dreams about getting fucked by Tatiana, and asks Tommy a question.

Dazzle Me Blind by Strawberriez8800 || [ T ] Tatiana glances back at Alfie over her shoulder. “Have you ever been fucked by a princess?” “Can’t say I have, no.” “Good,” she says, voice like molten gold. “I like to be the first at everything I do.”

Singular by Strawberriez8800 || [ E ] Alfie tugs on Tatiana's silver chain, pulls her down towards him. “Something you should know, princess,” he says, mouth brushing against the shell of her ear, “I’m not in the habit of sharing, am I now.” She grins a feral grin. “Not even with Tommy Shelby?”

Barney Thompson / Tommy Shelby

Play Pretend by Valkrist || [ T ] It shouldn’t feel this way, should it? He shouldn’t be that afraid, feel more comfortable. Enjoy all the moments, blossom and feel all this happiness, but he didn’t. Why was he sad? Why didn’t he experience the same things others were talking about?

Peaches, Roses, Sandalwood by Valkrist || [ E ] There was something fascinating about all the oils, vials and equipment standing on the table. Small glasses, various colors, paste, scrapers, everything one could imagine. Different scents filled the room - and in the middle of it all there was one filled, slightly violet flacon.

Always Landing on Their Feet by Valkrist || [ G ] Tommy had always been torn between doing business properly and giving Charlie enough love and attention. Never really knew how to do it well enough, how to make his childhood fulfilled enough, but he had thought that it was okay, that he did his best giving Charlie good education and lovely father-son evenings. Had even dared to think that his boy didn’t have any secrets and behaved nice when he had to go to London for some days. Well, this was until he got one particular fateful e-mail.

Indulge a Desire by Valkrist || [ E ] There were many things that helped Barney forget about all his duties for a while, but the low lighting was the best one, after all.

Been Reading Books of Old, the Legends and the Myths by Valkrist || [M] Remember the last time we wrote each other letters? I don’t, but well, maybe it’s a good idea. Kinda funny to send all this words, knowing that you won’t read them immediately. But I won’t write them too often, still gotta pay for my living, you know.

Tu as tué la peur qui là dans mes bras by Valkrist || [ T ] Tommy chuckled. It was always funny to listen to Barney, even if he couldn’t understand how the latter managed to stay that calm. It seemed as if Ollie made nothing but mistakes, but Barney was patient, so terribly patient. Repeated the words again and again, encouraged Ollie to go on and not to send it all to hell.

Thoughts of You Consume by Valkrist || [ E ] Barney had already known what was about to come at the races. Going there hadn’t really been his preferable option for the day, but there was no harm in doing it - just being on Tommy’s side, looking at the majestic horses and seeing the other man’s lips curling into a smile when everything went the way it should. Barney didn’t understand much of this sort of business, but it was alright as long as Tommy knew what he was doing.

May Carleton / Tommy Shelby

When You Walk in Smelling Like Her Perfume by Valkrist || [ T ] May had never thought this necklace would mean so much to her one day. It hadn’t been much more than a lovely gesture back then, a little present, a joke. Something that looked lovely and united them. Even the telepathy coming with it didn’t seem intimate back then, being a lovely side effect. Oh, how easy it had been back then…

Between This Heartbeat and the Next by Strawberriez8800 || [ G ] Tommy is looking at her like he’s finally living their moments rather than stealing them. What a sight it makes.

Off the Beaten Path by Strawberriez8800 || [ G ] Thomas is waiting for someone; May is not so conceited as to assume it is her, yet when she takes the seat beside him and orders herself a drink, with the way he looks at her, it would be asinine to conclude the case is anything else. 

The One Who Got Away by Boundinshallows || [ M ] Tommy and May go on an overnight trip to purchase a horse.

James / Tommy Shelby

This was Nothing by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy is frustrated after another meeting with Alfie and he needs an outlet. Luckily it finds him first.

Salt and Mint by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy was forced to remain for dinner at Ada's, in fear of James revealing their little secret, and makes a deal with the boy for his good behavior... things escalate very quickly.

Like Thunder, Like Lightning by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy feels torn after his hasty departure from Ada's, and a surprising phone call might, or might not help him move forward...

R U Mine? by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Tommy goes back to James, but it also comes with more consequences than he imagined... (Direct sequel to Like Thunder, Like Lightning!)

Jessie Eden / Ada Shelby

Dress by Keine_angst || [ G ] Now that she's made peace with her feelings towards Jessie Eden, there was only one obstacle left. The dress. 

Hungry for (Your) Love by Keine_angst || [ G ] “Tommy, sweetheart, how can you expect me to agree to do something for you if you don’t explain what do you need from me?” she pointed out the obvious, because really, it wouldn’t be safe to just say yes and take the pot luck, not when Thomas Shelby was in charge. Ada agrees to help her brother out, but things get out of hand.

Billy Grade / Finn Shelby

Beyond Redemption (Just a Pawn) by Valkrist || [ M ] Finn was angry, fucking angry. Should’ve probably known that it all would come this way. Done something against it. Then again, what could he have done? Tommy hadn’t told him that much, trying to keep him away from this bad kind of business. Football bets were alright, but nothing more. Didn’t need to ship cocaine or opium or whatever this was about. Bets like in the good old times, having Billy to write everything down.

Gina Gray / Oswald Mosley

White Swan by Valkrist || [ M ] It was funny how they all hadn’t noticed it at all, Mosley thought. Such blind people. Didn’t see it, maybe simply didn’t want to, who was to say that. He hadn’t been truly interested in joining this dance - an evening with a bunch of fucking Gypsies wasn’t exactly his idea of a well spent time - but apparently there were some good things about occasions of that kind. Well, as long as he ignored the opium, cocaine and brandy. Really didn’t seem to know the rules, this silly people.

Lizzie Stark / Tommy Shelby

Again by Emjen_Enla || [ T ] Tommy rolled over. Again. Or Tommy and Lizzie mostly fail at this sharing a bed thing.

Bonnie Gold / Goliath

Raise the Boxing Gloves by Valkrist || [ M ] Poor boy didn’t know what dreamless nights were anymore. Always had something to think about, adventures happening, a combination of all the things he had experienced. Sometimes bad, sometimes good, sometimes it was simply unclear. But Goliath could beat it all out of him if he wasn’t careful enough. Made him forget with ease, his senses focussing on some little, often rather unimportant details. An impressive and talented young man.

Ollie / Alfie Solomons

Our Bones May Turn to Stone but Hearts like Ours Don’t Rust by Valkrist || [ T ] The dunes, the water, the sand, it was all calming. Ollie simply couldn’t get used to it after having spend so much time in London, knowing all the dirt of Camden. Muddy shoes, blood, he had seen it all, even though it was way better than Birmingham, if Alfie was to be believed.

Luca Changretta / Tommy Shelby

Now and Forever by AbusiveLittleBun || [ E ] Luca is enchanted with the beautiful blue-eyed boy that attends the school he helps his mother at, little does he know Tommy Shelby feels the same way towards him...

Boysenberry Tie, with Periwinkle Eyes by WTSL_Writer_of_Things || [ G ] The bow was strange and new, the colour hard to come by and find. It wasn't often people managed to dye a bow that colour, so he snatched it up and bright it home to his blue eyes doll. Years go by and he finds that colour again, this time as a tie, and he gets the tie for his new Periwinkle eyed lover, who he practically drops to the floor for. So he gets a boysenberry tie, for the Periwinkle eyes of his strange lover.

Oswald Mosley / Tommy Shelby

Coat Wrapped Around His Shoulders by Valkrist || [ M ] It was a miracle, a fucking miracle.Tommy still didn’t know how Barney had stayed alive, but he had. Could have shot Mosley marvelously if it weren’t for this horrible interruption. A life for a life, except both people had stayed alive this time. And this was the other side of the coin. Mosley was still alive. A wonderful plan, all for nothing. So much effort put into it, all for nothing. But at least they hadn’t caught them, so Tommy could still keep his cover. Could enter the hospital without people suspecting him, ready to figure it all out.