#murder Terry Silver. anyway. these are my thoughts

[msfbgraves]

Let me get this off my chest: when I did read that Terry had slipped up and cheated on Daniel, I was pretty disappointed that the story had gone in that direction. Terry’s a bad man—hell, he commits murder over and over again for crying out loud!—but I truly loved that he was good to Daniel, and for Daniel (for the most part), and adored that boy like there was no tomorrow. Like he would die if anything happened to him by another hand or his own. That fierce love and devotion he had for this little omega who was bartered away to him was intensely romantic. Two very different sides of the same story—Mob!Terry and family man!Terry, and I loved the disparity between them. Two very different sides of the same man. 

But the cheating threw me, and I did seriously dislike it, but it didn’t make me want to stop reading, or dislike the overall story—just really dislike that one part of it. Anyway I thought, this is your story and you can do whatever you want! We can choose to stay and read or leave. 

But then the reveal of what happened “that night”, the full extent of Terry’s revolting behavior was shown and. UGH. See, when you first wrote that part, from what I recall, the way it was worded just sounded like rough, but not unwanted sex—that Daniel was furious and hurt that Terry had taken his anger at Michael out on him and used him like that. It didn’t read as rape to me.

But recent things you’ve posted have shown that indeed it was. The part where Daniel was so scared and sad that he sought protection even from his little Alpha babies was heartbreaking and this, more than anything, proved how violent and painful and disgusting what Terry did to him was. The same person who said he’d treat him like a Queen, but also bought him jewelry when he fucked him like a whore. Maybe I should have seen it coming, in a way. 

Just…anything good Terry does from now on is always going to be stained by the rape, as well as the cheating—but especially the former. Nothing he does now—buying Daniel flowers, playfully teasing him, being wonderfully affectionate with him, tenderly making love to him—is going to change the fact that Terry came home one night and fucked him so brutally that their own babies covered Daniel with their own bodies without even knowing the full extent of what happened between their parents. They just sensed that Daniel was broken in some way and acted upon that instinct. 

It just makes all the good times ring hollow, all the sweet gesture and declarations of love from Terry seem like ash. It makes me wonder just how Daniel can stand to have this man touch him again after this, and how he can stay in a marriage where these things happen by the hand of his own spouse. One time is one time too many, that’s what. It reminds me of those Shoujo mangas that use rape as a vehicle for drama and conflict, but the girl always forgives and stays with the guy who never really changes. 

Do I still love your fic? Sure. I’m still grateful for your writing and these fills even if I don’t like the ones like this. 

But…Terry’s character is totally done for me in this fic. He’s absolutely irredeemable at this point. This is a line you don’t ever cross and he crossed it with a vengeance. It’s infuriating that he’ll never face any real consequences because we all know Daniel won’t leave him ever because of the pups, to avoid bloodshed between the factions, and because he still deeply loves this monster. Terry Silver truly gets his cake and eats it too and it’s awful. Daniel is pretty much a love martyr at this point. Problem is he’s always been too good for Terry. It’s just that now we’re really seeing it. Always surrounded by truly shitty men—his father who bartered him away while being creepily close to him, his sociopathic brother Michael who thought the trade off was for the best, and now his own spouse who thinks he can do whatever because sweet, pretty, darling Danny-boy will still love him. Yikes. 

Anyway, just one question, don’t feel pressured to answer it, but—

What made you write what happened between them as rape? 

Nonnie, this is in response to your ask, so I'm writing it down here, but not all of it is in response to you being the only one asking this or instigating what may come across as a somewhat strong reaction. I am not addressing you alone or specifically. These two days I have been sent so many asks and reactions, some of which I frankly think are upsetting. So I am taking the opportunity to get something off my chest myself, because, well, evidently that seems appropriate to people. You have laid the reactions of many asks out very eloquently, so I am answering here. You are definitely not being singled out, though!

When I started the first minifill of Knights and Pawns, between me, my word processor and God, I had watched that other Terry, the "good" version of Terry Silver as laid out by the big man himself, Thomas Ian Griffith. And even that guy, though handsome, athletic, loyal and insanely protective of his girlfriend, who could have passed for a female, omega version of Ralph Macchio, had problems the film did not want to address. Again, we're supposed to like this dude who does not take no for an answer. His girlfriend breaks up with him, and when he feels this has gone on long enough, he simply breaks into her home and stays. But he's vulnerable! He brings a kitten! And she... goes along with it. A male audience may take this as "See? Sometimes you have to take control and your sweetheart will stop being silly." And why not? He's hot. Strong. Tender. Very affectionate. And he broke into her home and could kill her with his pinkie and track her down as she runs, plus, in the whole film his main problem is that he 'snaps' and seriously hurts people. But he plays the piano! And he cuddles!

What a dreamboat, huh. And well, canon Terry Silver we have all seen in action. And canon Terry Silver too can absolutely tone it down. Cheyenne may really not have a clue. I am sure he really is a great hugger.

And I have always been fascinated by arranged marriages, political marriages. So often, another war between France and England was ended by: "after the young King of England slew the Dauphin, to broker peace, a marriage was arranged between the King and the Dauphin's sister." Just imagine that on a human level, please. Just try to get your head around it! This guy killed your brother and now you need to have sex with him.

Nonnies, please - that is the setup of the fic.

A guy like Terry Silver - whose good guy version also gets scary if he wants to - and you have to marry him. (Or you stop dating and he simply won't leave, which is scarily similar.)

Now Terry is an emotionally smart guy, plus he really needs tenderness. He's not going to batter his spouse, that's no way to build a home. And he wants one, and many children too.

And readers kept asking for sweet situations and I am a writer who has to run things by my character. And Terry was like "sure, I would do that." And then people were asking well, how spicy is the sex? Very spicy, thank you. But I had already established he doesn't take no for an answer.

As for Michael, he just happened. Do we really think mob families have no scary people in them? Uh, I don't. And I'm not a puppeteer. Michael happened without my planning him, because he is the son of a father who rose to power because he was so good at stabbing people to death it became his family name. That has to go somewhere.

And now, somewhere in the background, Michael and Terry would interact. And clash, because Terry would want to take over the whole operation and Michael wouldn't let him, and I think they're intellectually very well matched, and power wise too. Michael is a beta and Terry is an outsider and son-in-law so welcome to immovable object vs unstoppable force.

And please also don't pretend that women in history were not supposed to bear the brunt of a man's anger during sex. Men keep putting it in their own story: "He was angry, and things got a bit rough. She was upset, not gonna lie, and he felt he went too far too. Gotta watch out with that, it doesn't feel good." But that is often followed by: "She then straight up and left! Wtf? Baby, it wasn't like that!"

Terry and Daniel would both - especially in that culture- rationalise it as "spicy sex that got out of hand."

Why did I write that? Because that's how it felt to me. That scene with the puppies? Always there, I simply didn't put it in, at first. Because people were not gonna like it. Well, story doesn't care. Story is boss, not me. And if that feels trite, it's how it works. Once, I wanted Draco Malfoy to rise above a situation. Well, he didn't. He couldn't. Then, I wanted Sansa Stark to lose to Tywin Lannister. But she was like, "seven hells, you can fuck right off with that." I was curious whether or not the wedding night sex between Terry and Daniel would be scary and nasty. But there, Terry was like "No."

But it already happened weeks ago. And people were willing to go "Yikes, but let's not get into it." And that is exactly what Daniel and Terry would have done. And the cheating Terry simply wouldn't have mentioned. He was angry at Daniel for not accepting his apology. He used to fuck kitties all the time (which I mentioned more than once). He knew he was wrong the night before, frustrated, he fucked that out yesterday, and since this kitty offered (he did not seek her out), why not do that again? He doesn't want to be around his pups like this, anyway. Maybe it helps?

It didn't. In fact it finally made the penny drop.

In many gangster films, the penny never drops. And when a whole film is about the penny having dropped, as in Godfather III, people hate that too. You cannot win.

But anyway. Terry finally realised he literally fucked up spectacularly.

And then: nothing came of it, he never does it again, it could only hurt Daniel so why should he tell?

But ah! That detail people were not willing to overlook! The real damage had already been done but apparently this is easier to glance over. Remember, nonnies. This happened before Anthony was born and people did not react as strongly.

Which is everyone's right.

But now. They first kept asking for details. Which I supplied. Then. The anger. The disappointment. At me, personally. Why could I not keep giving people the good stuff? Why did I put that in?

Because I'm trying to be true to what I feel. Because I feel that it is a canon part of Terry, whether Silver, McCain or this amalgation. Because I never promised anyone anything. Because this isn't a genre novel. Because people ask? It was supposed to be a one shot! I did not submit an outline and collect an advance. But the anger! The absolute moral righteousness with which people come into my house and say, "you upset my moral values, you had no right to ruin my enjoyment, and I want you to know" - no, people did not perceive or chose to ignore a darker undertone, and now feel betrayed when I, in response to yet another audience question, am not playing along... and they feel it is perfectly OK making their feelings known.

Well.

Neil Gaiman is on here. Suppose I was upset with a storyline turn in Sandman (which I am not. I have no opinion on it as I haven't seen it), and I went into his askbox to make my opinions, my heartbreak, my disappointment known. Would that be OK? We all know it's not. We know it's rude.

I am glad of the passion the story provokes. But please, people, can you remember this is the equivalent of saying: you gave me more than twenty gifts, and kept giving while I and others kept asking for more. But this gift I do not like. In fact, it ruined all the enjoyment of the other gifts. And rather than be grateful for the other gifts and deal with my disappointment in my own time, I want you to know. Because you hurt me, and you should feel bad about it."

Who. Do these people think. They are. What gives them the right? Why do they need to get it off their chest.... at me?

Look I hate Bridgerton. I hated the conclusion of Game of Thrones. But I do not think the writers are morally obliged to write things that align with my values or are consistent with a previous tone and I am not going to write to them personally to make my feelings of dislike known. Because that, in my view, shows a profound lack of respect. Btw, it is exactly what Terry did: he was so full of feelings he needed to get out, he did not care what getting his feelings out meant to the person he was engaging with. And everybody hates him for it.

Then don't do it yourself. The severity of actions of course one can't compare. But the underlying mechanism is the same.

Rather ironic.

[theboost]

Oh fuck I thought about cobra kai again. How can a show miss so many of its own themes

[findmeinthealps]

ok i guess i do actually have some worries about the damanda rough patch arc in s5, rambly thoughts under the cut

what i’m really hoping here is that they’re not just doing another s2 redux “amanda isn’t taking daniel’s concerns seriously” arc, because like. 1) it would be such a boring retread, and 2) in what world would amanda just make this same mistake again, after all the shit she’s gone through because she underestimated kreese? like, seriously?? she had her house broken into! she was living in fear, grabbing a baseball bat at every sign of danger! her husband was almost murdered!! (and does she even know about that?? god! but either way he certainly came home covered in cuts and bruises with blood on his shirt, so.) if they actually try to sell me that amanda, after all this shit, suddenly goes “oh well but clearly this time he’s overreacting again” without giving me a proper reason for why she would do that, i’m gonna claw my face off!!

like, what i would much rather see when it comes to a damanda rift is if they actually got into the thing where daniel keeps not telling amanda shit about what’s going on, which. the trailer does have me hopeful that that’s actually what they’re going for, since daniel is giving her the exact same “you have to let me (and chozen) handle it” speech again, which is basically what he did in s4 as well (his whole “silver is a wacko, but anyway don’t worry, i’m handling it by - *checks notes* - getting into a petty fight with johnny, anyway bye!”). like, i’m sure he’s doing this out of some misguided attempt to protect her, but daniel, bb, that ship has sailed!! ask your wife for help, you dumbass! she hasn’t divorced you yet, so clearly she’s down to clown (which we now know will happen anyways, coffee creamer war room maps and all, and thank god honestly)

either that, OR silver is actually doing some sort of scheme that is deliberately driving a wedge between them, i guess i’d be fine with that too, tho i’d have kind of a hard time believing terry could actually outsmart amanda tbh. but, you know, might be a juicy arc, and i’m certainly willing to buy into some nonsense as long as it gives me unhinged daniel (and eventually unhinged amanda too)

i’m just soooo tired of this “wife who doesn’t get it” trope y’all, please don’t do this to me again ck i’m begging

[panicartist]

Stein at the movies Pt. 2 “Concessions” (drawfee character fan fiction)

A brief and whimsical fanfic in 4 parts about Jacob’s character Stein from this drawfee video Part 1  When Stein arrived at the theatre they saw Leigh, who had arrived early, leaning casually against the wall by the ticket machine. She was wearing a pair of distressed stonewashed baggy jeans, and a band t-shirt of some obscure indie rockers. Her curly black hair formed a loose mullet, with the sides cut back just enough to show several piercings (gold, of course - a vampire would never be caught dead wearing silver. It just doesn't fly in monster social circles). Stein only realised how tense they had been when they felt a wave of relief settle over their body. I don't know what I was so worried about, they thought, but I'm so glad it's Leigh standing there, and Fritz is nowhere to be seen. The hairdo Stein had picked out was just about the opposite of Leigh's, with more length in the front than the back, though only by a little. They had spent far too long in front of the mirror trying to decide whether they still looked femme enough with short hair, long legs and muscly arms, and they picked out some larger eyes to balance out the look. "Oh hey, Leigh!", Stein greeted their date with enthusiasm. "Oh, is that you, Stein? You look different to your picture." Leigh's brow furrowed, either in confusion or disappointment. "I especially wasn't expecting you to be so... tall..." Stein stooped their shoulders to compensate - with their leg extensions, they were nearly half a foot taller than Leigh. "Well it comes with the territory of being a reanimated amalgam of several small pieces of several different corpses. Sometimes I look different than other times. It depends what mood I'm in. But it's what's inside that counts, right?" Stein hoped they didn't come off as too defensive. "You don't think it's a little vain? We can't all change our bodies on a whim, you know." Leigh's laugh sounded like it should have belonged to a Disney villain. But was it the manipulative laughter of a tentacled sea witch or the cold, callous laugh of a fur loving fashionista? Either way, she had gone straight for the kill with that comment. "Well I-... I was just-..." Stein was a little taken aback. Actually, they were a lot taken aback. They literally stepped back a few paces just to keep their balance. "You were just hoping I'd stroke your ego and tell you how great you look. Wow, what big muscles you have," Her tone of voice was mocking, but when she play acted the loving girlfriend she was almost too believable. She reached out her arms and gently caressed Stein's bulging biceps. Stein could put up with a lot on a first date, but this was pretty hard to hear. They started thinking that maybe they had gone too masc after all... "So... date cancelled?" Stein guessed. Wrong. "Oh you won't get out of it that easily. You're paying for the tickets. Anyway, I need to get some good pics if I'm hoping to make Terry jealous." So it’s a revenge date? Not exactly the kind I was hoping for, Stein thought to themself, but at least the weight's off my shoulders to make it a good one. The two of them decided to see a slasher horror where the murderer had an uncanny ability to teleport between bodies of water, (mostly bathtubs, going by the posters). Stein complained that they had seen it before, but apparently that wasn't the point of a movie date anyway. The two of them sat at the back of the theatre - not so that they could canoodle or anything, but just so Leigh could take photos of the two of them without the staff noticing she had a camera. No doubt she was sending the pics to 'Terry,' whoever that was. Stein pretended to be super engrossed in the inane car and perfume adverts rather than humour whatever it was Leigh was up to. But just as the last advert finished playing and the lights were dimming, the theatre door creaked loudly open, and a familiar face walked in... It was Fritz, only he wasn't observing Stein at all. In fact he was putting a lot more effort into observing the stud muffin on the other end of his arm... To be continued... Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[crossovereddie]

you’ve done this before but i love hearing people talk about things they love so… what characteristics made you fall for mickey and eddie? what characteristics do you share with them?

I’m about to pour my heart out but it’s gonna be a jumbled mess oops.

Before I get into personal things about each character a general fact you need to know about me is I always have a soft spot for misunderstood characters who clearly just need/want to be loved. Blame that on me getting emotionally attached to Dallas Winston the first time I had to read The Outsiders for school.

Let’s start with Eddie first.

First off, holy hell who the fuck let you be that hot mister this is a fire station please contain yourself. Then Bobby introduces him as Eddie DIAZ from TEXAS and okay that’s all I gotta know I automatically stan so hard because I too am a Mexican who grew up in Texas. The he says he’s got a silver star and if you know anything about war and the military then you automatically know he’s seen some shit and okay trauma we love to see it in our fictional characters. Then Buck starts giving him shit and he’s so patient and you can tell he’s thinking ‘lol we’re about to be some of the most important people in each other’s lives just you wait’. He’s so good at his job. He’s so smart. He’s sweet. He’s a dad???? A SINGLE dad????? To the sweetest kid???? I’m a goner (so is buck). We get to see how much he’s struggling then the way he hugs Bobby just confirms to me that Eddie doesn’t really have a good relationship with his family. He’s never had people selflessly HELP him who weren’t obligated to. Then Shannon comes back and we see how forgiving Eddie is. Too forgiving if you ask me 🤭 He lets her back in bc it’s what Christopher asks for. Everything he does is for Chris. Then tsunami happens and Buck is there and Christopher isn’t. Y’all know how easy it would’ve been for Eddie to get angry at Buck? How he could’ve definitely blamed him? It happens all the time irl. But no. I don’t think he ever once blamed Buck. Not even before he sees Chris. Then he takes Chris to buck. He TRUSTS buck to take care of him. This man is so kind y’all idk what to tell ya. Eddie Begins really made sure there’s no going back for me now. We see him struggling to be a parent at first (me too my guy. completely different reasons but I struggled with being a parent too.) But he always loved his son. Then my suspicions are confirmed: his parents are shitty. We get to also see that Eddie would give his life to save others, in the flashbacks and with the little boy in the well. But he’s a fighter and he fights each time to come back home to his son. All he wants is to be a good father to his son. He wants Christopher’s happiness over everything. A parent who loves their child unconditionally and would do anything for them? I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO ATTACH MY SOUL TO YOURS. In conclusion he’s the best dad, unbelievably kind, loves people so well, and we grew up the same. (Then there’s the whole I think he’s actually gay and deeply in the closet bc of culture and catholic guilt so relatable<3)

Eddie’s was longer than expected so I’ll put mickeys under the cut. It’s not as long surprisingly

Now Mickey

Oh my sweet Mickey. I thought he was so funny at first. This shrimp thinking he’s tough (and actually is)??? Sign me up. Then wtf he’s gay????? HERES MY HEART SIR. Then ofc we get into the whole he’s closeted because of his psychotic homophobic dad. Scared enough to contemplate murder then going to juvie just to stay alive. Then s3 happens and you can really see how much he loves Ian and just how homophobic terry actually is. Mickey is just a fucking kid. He’s a teenage boy still. He’s a tough Milkovich yeah but he’s fucking SWEET. He just wants to be with Ian. He just wants to be HIMSELF. (This I can very much relate to. My mom’s not terry bad but she still hates that I’m not her perfect little straight catholic daughter and lets me and everyone else know it constantly). Anyways then we actually see just how good Mickey is and by this point I’m in too deep and just keep falling more and more in love with who he is. Hes a family man. When he considers you family he has your back no matter what. He’s so loyal. He loves people even when they don’t show the same love to him. He’s compassionate even when people don’t deserve it. He’s so fucking KIND. THIS MAN IS CINDERELLA JFC. But probably the main reason I love him so much is his unconditional love for Ian. He doesn’t ‘love Ian even though he’s bipolar’. He just loves Ian and that includes stable Ian, manic Ian, depressed ian, paranoid ian, medicated ian, unmedicated Ian. He just fucking loves IAN, all of him no matter what. He doesn’t stay and take care of him out of obligation. He stays and he learns and he educates himself and he tries and he cares because he loves him. When Mickey Milkovich loves you there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. I hate to give shameless this compliment (bc really it’s all Noel and fans and the few writers who cared) but Mickey Milkovich is the best fictional character that’s ever existed I won’t be taking criticism at this time.

[candyuu]

Terry and the Dinosaur

I had a dream where we lived in a Jurassic world type of situation and you know how they were like selling dinos in one of them I think ? Well anyways in my dream Terry Silver had a dinosaur because of course he would. But I was dating him and still had no idea he owned one. Then one night we were out at this huge club. And I mean huge. And well people started dying very brutally, as they were attacked by a dinosaur. I was out dancing while Terry had gone in our private room. I started panicking so I ran to the floor our room was. Terry wasn’t there but I noticed the door next to ours was open. I remembered Terry telling me he owned it too but that it wasn’t ready to be used. I was never allowed in there so I jumped at the opportunity to finally get a look inside. Well I saw, a huge cage wide open. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but I was now fairly sure all the chaos happening downstairs was due to a dinosaur that Terry owned. I looked down to were people were panicking (and dying) and I noticed somehting weird. Well obviously lots of important business groups came to this club but I saw that all the people the dinosaur (which appeared to be not much larger than a velociraptor) was killing, were from the same business group. Almost as if he were being controlled or commanded to kill specific people. I went downstairs (because I’m stupid!). And kept trying to look for Terry but he was nowhere to be found. And then the dinosaur snuck up on me and well there was a very big fountain behind us. He attacked me and went for my leg, then he dragged me into the fountain as I screamed in agony. By now the whole club was in chaos and people were rushing out but like I said, that place was huge so a lot of the crowd was just in a state of panic. Anyways as I was being ripped to shreds by this dinosaur, I noticed a collar on his neck, which I think shocked him a little and he snapped out of attacking me. I was so confused but also just scared and in a lot of pain. So I just fell unconscious and the last thing I remember was being picked up out of the fountain. When I woke up, I was in a bed. With Terry looking down really concerned. He kept apologizing and saying “this wasn’t supposed to happen,” I was still really out of it but understood he was referring to the dinosaur attack. Anyways this is where the details begin to get fuzzy. Terry refused to speak about what had happened or why it had happened. But I thought it was obvious that he had some sort of business problem with that group and that’s why he had them killed. And a lot of things I was unaware of, but I was not unaware of the passionate nature of my boyfriend so the fact that he had all these men murdered didn’t phase me. Which leads me to believe that I had probably already seen him murder before, though never to this degree and with a dinosaur at that. I was willing to lie for him of course. And when the dinosaur on scene was identified as one that Terry owned, well he went on trial. And here’s the thing, people assumed that I would testify against him. That I would realize he was crazy now that one of his schemes had gotten me hurt. But i was so far gone. I defended him with everything I had on that stand. And while I knew that me getting hurt was partially his responsibility, it was not his fault. My parents were there and I saw their distress as I stood there and defended the man that had murdered an entire group of people in one night. And of course, he won the case because, “the violent nature of a dinosaur can not be controlled by a man.” And so evidently they can not blame the man. (Also assuming dinosaur ownership had been legalized by this point he could not be charged for that). But the best part was, despite Terry’a refusal to speak of how things had happened, I was there. And I knew that he did control the dinosaur. I don’t know how he did it but the murders were obviously full of every intent though it was so easy to blame it on the nature of a dinosaur that had “accidentally” escaped his enclosure. I knew the truth. And he knew the truth.

The only real accident that night was me getting hurt. And I forgave him. Because how could I not?

[tzigone]

Favorite characterization of Dick Grayson

What's your favorite era or writer for Dick Grayson?  What characterizations do you like or dislike?

Here are my opinions.  I may ramble a bit. Sorry about that. 

You can skip this paragraph if you don't care how I ended up here and which comics I’ve read  - it's not particularly important, I just wanted to share.  First, while previously having seen on-screen versions of Dick Grayson, and read a bit of DickBabs fanfic (Batman: TAS sold me on them before the show went directions I loathe), I never actually read any issues of DC until 2015ish.  Had been a Marvel girl because they didn't do reboots, but then they destroyed Peter Parker's marriage and rebooted the universe, so I abandoned comics for a while.  But then I saw some reruns of Young Justice cartoon.  So I read some fic.  Many fics incorporated comic characters.  There I discovered Spoiler, who I really liked the idea of as Spoiler (someone who works against Batman's wishes and doesn't obey his orders and refused to back down, but isn’t a killer).  So I read the Robin series for the first 100+ issues (quitting when I knew War Games was near because the storyline sounded bad).  But that made me decide to read the Nightwing comic that stared in that era.  Really liked that, and really liked Dick Grayson (on-screen portrayals had already lead me to favor him).  Then Birds of Prey, Dixon-era, too.  Then, because I liked Dick, the Original and New Teen Titans. Original was too Silver Age for me, but really enjoyed 1980-1986ish New Teen Titans (thought it went downhill after that, and abandoned when I reached 1990 issues).  Also read assorted Golden, Silver, and Bronze Age comics.  So I have relatively broad, but very shallow knowledge of most Bat-eras, with more in-depth knowledge of the '90s and much less of post-2000 (mostly fic, which isn't always representative of the comic).

While I have opinions on various Bat and non-Bat characters and storylines, I'm starting with Dick here. He was my favorite. It's so dependent on writing (as is ever character), and right now he’s Ric, and that is something I’m not interested in. 

While I absolutely like aspects from other eras, and I dislike some aspects from these eras, my favorite time periods for Dick are probably 1980-1986ish and 1996-2000.  There’s some good 70s stuff and I like certain dynamics of him as guardian/mentor to Damian (and some stuff with other family), but as whole, these two eras in his titles (Teen Titans and Nightwing) are my favorites.  For his characterization as stand-alone (rather than his relationships with other characters).

Golden and silver age Dick merit a bit less discussion. Characters weren’t as distinct from each other back then.  Nor, really, as consistent.  But Dick was sometimes regarded as quite a mature young man in the golden age.  Responsible, good grades, intelligent, etc.  But so was Speedy - like I said, not much distinction.  Despite some impressions, in the stories I read I did not notice Robin to make lots of puns or be unusually cheery and smiley.

Come to the mid-60s and Dick was so much a teenager. I mean the original Teen Titans fairly scream with it early on (so much slang, really folks). One writer I didn’t like had him behave like an idiot (I’m not the only one who thought so, judging by the letters pages, though opinions were split).  Really, though, in the early original Teen Titans it felt like writer(s) were trying to push the “teen” thing too much, and they sometimes came off like caricatures.  But it was a time in comics when stories and characterizations were shifting and there were, IMO, both failures and successes in trying to embrace new and different.

The ‘70s were okay. Some bits I liked, and some I didn‘t. Dick is usually responsible in Detective Comics stories. He did a little bit of playing the play-boy (with Silver), which isn’t my speed, since I like the idea that Dick, unlike Bruce, doesn’t put on a facade in day-to-day life.  Had a few girlfriends - very normal and not either stunningly celibate or shockingly promiscuous. Though the entire 70s was one year of college for Dick.

I am not at all fond of the "goofy" Dick that seems to have popped up fairly often in the past 20 years.  They often seemed to have seriously dampened his brainpower and detective skills (because Tim is the smart one and the detective and for some reason they can’t both be that).  I’m not a fan of separate out all Batman’s skills and assigning one to each Robin. It makes the Robins all less than Batman and inferior to him and sets that they will never be his equals and that I do not agree with. Now this is by no means a *consistent* thing, but it does happen, and it does irritate me.  I don’t like seeing characters diminished.

I really love old-school Dick.  Back when he was young (late '70s to mid '80s), they showed us how mature he was (probably to contrast his youth and make him a viable peer to older heroes).  Both Wally and Roy commented on it. Roy said how he always felt so much younger (issue where he got custody of Lian).  Wally though Dick was always on top of things (Kory and Donna knew better).  Heck, Terry's (Donna's ex) bachelor party was another fine example how much more of an adult he was than some men twice his age.  He was pretty cerebral, a fantastic detective, a good fighter, etc.  He could hang out and have fun, too, of course. He wasn't a stick-in-the-mud.  He was too closed off and unwilling to talk sometimes (moreso with his team, and perhaps because he thought he needed to project confidence as a leader?).  He was, in a reverse, quite willing to talk about other people's emotional issues.   Sometimes as a friend, and sometimes as a leader.  He behaved most immaturely when dealing with Batman, particularly as their relationship became more difficult - there were times when they brought out the worst in each other. Though it wasn't steady, of course.

We really got to see Dick as a leader in this era. Someone people respected and looked up to.  Not that his team always agreed with him or that he was always right, but that but that he was a person that people did have trust in. And that he usually did a good job of deserving it.  It’s not just other teenagers, though, but the older heroes respect him as well.  It’s also the first time we a real, substantive romance - with Kory.  Saw where he floundered and how he loved, and such.  Which I thought worked well until it reached a point where I thought it needed to end, and it didn’t (or rather it did end, but didn’t stay ended).  Readers who like the ship, though, will likely have a different perspective, if they are like me (I just blame the writing when this sort of thing happens with ships I prefer).

Batman: Year Three - not the best story.  I don't remember most of it, to be honest.  But one thing I really liked was the highlighted difference between Bruce and Dick.  It hits that Dick is more emotionally healthy than Bruce. That Dick had the emotional support Bruce lacked as a child (I don't think continuity had yet settled on the idea of Alfred as a father-figure to Bruce).  That could segue me into changes in Bruce's backstory and characterization, but I'll refrain.  I will say that I preferred Dick with the nice-nuns orphanage to Dick-in-juvenile-facility (though I really, really like Dixon's run on Nightwing).  It makes Bruce less of a "rescuer" of Dick, which I prefer. I do not like the idea that Dick was doomed to end up dead on street (or a criminal) if not for Bruce.  Though I admit to preferring old-school Dick-goes-directly-to-Bruce's-home, no matter how unrealistic.  I dislike the entire Talon thing even more. I hate the back-projecting of more angst and more terrible things, like his parents being murdered wasn't bad enough.

Now we come to Nightwing series. I  really liked Dixon's run.  I'm a DickBabs fan, so seeing them get together was great.  I did read he wanted Dick/Donna, and I'm glad that didn't happen.  Partially because I'm a DickBabs fan, but also because I really, really liked the platonic friendship between Dick and Donna during the New Titans.  And I liked that it was platonic and that a friendship - rather than romance - could be so very important.  I don't think friendships get near the credit they should as important relationships in fiction, and so often fans want them to be romantic.  And the older I get, the more I value good fictional friendships and sibling relationships and so on.  For the record, I also really liked the Vic/Gar friendship. And I still tend to think of Donna, rather than Wally as Dick's BFF. Though he has many friends.

Anyway, I really liked seeing Dick working on his own and having his own city.   He was finding his own path and his rogues were being developed. I liked the idea of him as a cop, and I enjoyed Amy. I liked a lot of his banter with Barbara. But not just the banter, the serious stuff. Dick was looking for a real, long-term, serious relationship.  And Barbara was the hesitant one - for understandable reasons.   It's an everyday reminder of the things they used to do together.  Things he can do that she no longer can.  And she really wants to.

Of course, in this era, he was totally a big brother to Tim, a relationship he never really had with Jason (post-crisis).  Now, Bruce's character was becoming worse and worse in this era, so that provided some conflict for Dick.  Early in the series, Bruce wasn't that bad yet, and he and Dick had some nice bonding/reconciling moments.  And so some of the issues were just on Dick's side.  He has, since at least the Titans days, had a persistent need to prove himself Batman's equal.  To others and to Batman. I was kinda peeved with Donna when she said he'd never be as good. He thinks Bruce thinks less of him on occasions when Bruce doesn't. But Bruce still treats him like an underling a good portion of the time.  He expects Dick to take orders with no questions and doesn't give him full details of plans and doesn't listen to his opinions or consider Dick's needs.  Way too often, Bruce just puts his goal ahead of everyone else.  That's an issue with Bruce.  But Dick feels like it's Bruce not seeing him as equal.  Which it is, IMO, but mostly in the sense that Bruce tends to put himself/his goal above all others in terms of importance (a problem that has only gotten worse with time).

I wasn't real fond back-projection/retconning of the Dick/Babs relationship over the years. Or her de-aging.  I like her at least 4 years older than Dick.  With no involvement when he was in highschool.  Flirtation when he was in college (1970s Batman family issues), sure, but nothing really happening until he's in Bludhaven and in his mid 20s and the 5-7 year age gap doesn't matter because they're both adults.  I much prefer her pre-crisis background with Batman to the post-crisis one, but that's a topic for my post on her.

Then the Devin Grayson era - I don't agree with all the positions of the author, but I do agree about Devin Grayson: http://theflyingwonder.tumblr.com/post/107703923021/you-made-me-curious-and-i-couldnt-resist-it-tell and I think way too many of her aspects stuck with the character.  Which I guess makes her a success, but doesn't work for me at all, because I don't like the character she describes at all and he is not Dick to me. I've read her interview on Dick Grayson and her perception of the character was just nothing like mine. She acts like he's not a thinker (even though got called too cerebral in the old days).  She acts like Dick either "fights or fucks" everyone he meets, and totally disregards so many other types of relationships. Now, the Mirage-rape had already happened (and was horribly handled), plus the Raven-mind-controllish thing (also didn't work for me), but Grayson made Dick the sleeps-around type.  That was specifically contradictory to earlier characterizations where Dick was the committed-relationship type - something he actually discussed with Roy at one point.  I liked Dick being a relationship-only guy, it was a big contrast with Bruce (particularly post-Crisis Bruce).  I don't like Dick being Batman-lite at all.  

Not Devin Grayson, but Nightwing Annual #2 - ghastly. So incredibly out of character for who Dick was back then.   Another not-my-review at http://theflyingwonder.tumblr.com/post/93534635531/can-you-explain-the-nightwing-annual-2-thing. Though I would go further in that it's  reason I don't like post-Kory’s-political-wedding Dick/Kory.  It felt like a lot of build up to "love isn't enough" and then he basically chunked his beliefs to stay with her, which makes the relationship a bad thing to me. Here's my less-well-worded thoughts when I read the wedding. http://tzigone.tumblr.com/post/170389768364/nightwing-and-starfire

So, Dick's life in Bludhaven was destroyed.  His life as independent hero was destroyed.  I enjoyed Dick with the Titans, but him in Gotham is a no-go to me.  Because he goes back to being an appendage of Bruce.  He's working in someone else's city, he's a subordinate (at least with Bruce is actually there).

I haven't read as much of the Dick/Damian relationship as I maybe should have.  While interested in their dynamic, I'm not keen on Dick's wider characterization.  I do not like lothario-Dick.  And I do not like Batman-lite Dick.  So I deeply disliked him taking Robin from Tim and giving it away without discussing it, just like Bruce did to him.   Yeah.  To top that off, I unlike many, did not like the first 12 issues of Red Robin, so there wasn't even pay-off.  And then later we'd get Dick faking his death and hurting his family for the sake of the mission (Batman's mission).  Too Batman-like. I do get incredibly frustrated with that no matter how badly he treats them, Bruce's "kids" keep coming back and following his orders.  I didn't like his non-masked storyline, in N52, either. Sadly, at least Barbara (who I don’t like being a student of Bruce’s), Dick, and Tim have all adopted some of Bruce’s worse traits in regards to secrets and manipulation at one point or another.

But my biggest thing is that Dick all to often (not always, but even once is too often) gets treated like a joke. He's the lovable brother, and that part is okay. But he's all cuddles and cartoons and Disney and most of his maturity is just gone.  This is heavy in fic, but it's present in the comics, too.  At 19 he was man, and now he's a man-child. Not when he's working, I mean, but in personal life.  Lex Luthor says he's not a big thinker and some people agree. And that is just totally wrong to me.  For me Dick, while far from perfect, is a person that has earned and has respect not only from his peers, but from the first-generation heroes.  And it just gets worse later.  Late Pre-Crisis they de-age him and he's 21 in N52 (when it starts anyway). And I hated his de-aging, and Barbara's.  It feels like they're being drug backwards and not allowed to grow up. Even though Barbara *started* grown up and Dick had pretty much been a man even during his endless year at Hudson.  I don't like the idea of Dick as someone people don't take seriously. Bart or Booster, maybe is someone villains don't take seriously, but should. But Dick, at least as he reaches his adult years, should be someone that people (villains and colleagues) do take seriously and respect.  Thought without the intimidation Batman has, at least with criminals.  I will say I do think it was done partially to keep Batman from getting too old to do the job, but I still don’t care for it.

Don’t get me started on Dick and what he thought was Bruce’s body and the Lazarus pit.

I thought the entire issue with Dick and Bruce after Bruce’s failed wedding was bad.  Dick tries to be the goofball. They try to redeem it at the end, but it falls flat because he was stupid enough to think it would help in the first place.

Some people seem to think it's the sweetest thing ever if Dick moves back to Gotham and lives in the manor and Bruce takes care of him, and that's just a no-go to me.  It's infantilizing. He's grown up and should be allowed to grow up.  I see a lot of infantilizing of Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian.  I get why it's done (to see Bruce the dad), but dislike it intensely.  It's demeaning to me. I like Bruce the dad, too. But he can be a dad to adult children and treat them like adults (well, the grown ones). And yes, like equals, but that it what I think the relationship between adult parents and children should be.  Though it’ll be a long time before Bruce gets to a point where he’ll consistently do that.

Side note: the comments on Dick's body get a little old.  I totally get that he's stunning.  I'm cool with Kory or Barbara or his current girlfriend enjoying his body or complimenting him on it.  But sometimes it seems like various characters (usually female) are discussing him like a piece of meat. Particularly frustrating when his hero colleagues do so.  I know a good bit of this comes with me binge-reading, making it seem more often than when issues are read a month apart.

[ladyherenya]

Books read in July

Four audiobooks (two fantasy, two historical). Two graphic novels and a Webtoon (fantasy). Five fantasy novels, including an illustrated children’s novel.  A short story collection (also fantasy). One YA  book from my shelves (mostly historical). All library books were borrowed through Overdrive.

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing. And also my Dreamwidth blog.)

Lore Olympus by Rachel Symthe: Not a book but a Webtoon released in weekly episodes. I binged 23 episodes of this in July (and have read another 5 since). A modern retelling of Hades and Persephone. Parts of it are super cute! The artwork is gorgeous, bold and vibrant; I particularly like the night-time scenes. Persephone is a utter delight; Hades owns a lot of dogs and his initial kidnapping of Persephone is accidental and short-lived, effectively sidestepping the hugely problematic basis for their relationship in the original myth. This is a story interested in respecting characters’ agency. So far, the darker episodes have been handled sensitively. I want more RIGHT NOW.

Letters from the Lighthouse by Emma Carroll (narrated by Victoria Fox): After 13 year old Olive is injured during an air raid and her older sister goes missing, Olive and her younger brother are evacuated to the Devon coast. This is poignant and eventful, about life during WWII and attempts to help refugees. It twists and ties everything together very neatly -- more than I was expecting, but this is a children’s novel. I’d have thought it perfect when I was Olive’s age! Reading it now, I was struck by how relevant this sort of story is today. I also really liked Olive’s observations, and the vividness of the coastal community.

Clocktaur War by T. Kingfisher (aka Urusla Vernon):

Clockwork Boys: I wasn’t sure if I’d like this -- criminals on a suicidal mission isn’t my thing -- but I finished it and the sequel within 24 hours. A convicted forger with allergies, an assassin, a disgraced paladin and a young scholar are sent to stop an army of clockwork boys. I loved this! It isn’t as grim and cynical as it sounds. There’s banter and teamwork -- and amusing commentary on the physical discomforts of travelling on a quest. (One of Kingfisher’s strengths is taking something typically fantasy and blending it with something prosaic.) And I cared more about the characters than I expected to.

The Wonder Engine: Slate and her companions have reached Anuket City but are still in danger. I really like this. Again, it involves humour and the teamwork and characters I cared about. I appreciate that these are characters who have made mistakes and have have work out how to move on from their failures. I like the way the romance develops. The beginning of the book meanders a bit but then things become tense and fraught, drawing together various aspects of the story in a way which is unexpectedly clever and unexpectedly heartbreaking.

Faro’s Daughter by Georgette Heyer (narrated by Laura Paton): Oh, this was so much fun! It brims with Pride and Prejudice parallels, but that doesn’t bother me because the characters’ personalities, circumstances and motives are different. When Max Ravenscar hears that his young cousin plans to marry “a wench from a gaming-house”, he sets out to intervene. Deborah doesn’t want to marry Mablethorpe, but, insulted by Ravenscar’s attempts to bribe her, she pretends otherwise to annoy him. I was delighted by their interactions. Deborah’s passionate, with a fierce sense of honour, but also sensible and kind. Ravenscar’s level-headed, has a sense of humour and knows when to apologise.

Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples:

Volume Five: This deals with the aftermath of Volume Four. It is full of missions which succeed in some way... only to then fail in another way. I was relieved that nothing worse happened, but I didn’t enjoy it much. There were a couple of deaths which disappointed me -- not because I was sad but because their deaths didn’t feel necessary and they made the story less interesting and less complex. I like seeing characters grow and change, and there’s just less potential for a character to build new relationships or challenge other characters when they are dead...

Volume Six: Hazel starts attending kindergarten in a detention centre, her parents search for a way to reunite their family and their enemies continue to pursue them. I enjoyed this volume a lot more than the previous two, because it has what they lacked: Alana and Marko working together! Their relationship is one of my favourite things about this series. They are delightful -- sometimes impulsive and reckless, but also optimistic and loving. They’re the reason I’m prepared to read a story which is frequently darker than I’d prefer. I also appreciated that there was positive resolution to the Hazel-is-abducted plotline.

Granny was a Buffer Girl by Berlie Doherty: A short coming-of-age story about love and leaving home as experienced by several generations of a working class family. On Jess’s last evening at home, her grandparents and parents tells stories about growing up in the 30s and 50s, and Jess reflects on her own experiences. There are all sorts of interesting details in these stories. Telling them side-by-side shows how times changes and how people take different paths to adulthood, but I wished it had focused more on some stories than others. Some of the prose is lovely, and as a whole this book is… oddly melancholy and memorable.

Discworld books by Terry Pratchett:

Wyrd Sisters (narrated by Celia Imrie): A king is murdered by his cousin, his young son is hidden with a group of travelling thespians and three witches break with custom by meddling in politics. This has some fabulously funny Macbeth references and lots of clever descriptions. I liked the witches, especially Granny Weatherwax and Magrat. However, I found some of the witches’ cattiness and pettiness frustrating. The plot is also more predictable than some of Pratchett’s. I wonder if I’d have been more invested in the story had there been more character growth (or more personal stakes) and less parody… Anyway, I liked this enough.

Making Money (narrated by Stephen Briggs): Reread, originally read 2012. I didn’t have much to say about it at the time: “Clever, witty and satirical, like Going Postal. I enjoyed it, but it failed to impress me (or make me laugh) quite as much. Perhaps it was a bit too much more-of-the-same?” No, the problem was that I didn’t listen to the audiobook! Pratchett is more engaging and much funnier when read aloud. Moist von Lipwig is the sort to get into trouble due to boredom; he’s at his most inspired when he’s flying by the seat of his pants. This is fun to watch. I couldn’t remember much about his adventures in banking, which made this reread even more entertaining. And appearances are made by the Watch… I would very happily gobble up more.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik: Compelling and beautifully written, a story about winter, silver and girls who make themselves cold to protect those they love. It most obviously draws upon “Rumpelstiltskin”, but I recognised elements from other fairytales. I liked how the girls’ stories fit together and how they have to work together (and would have liked it even had there been more of that!) They come from different classes and family situations, but they each have to navigate limited choices, unwelcome offers of marriage and unexpected responsibilities. Their most important, most positive relationships, are familial ones -- a source of warmth in this wintry story.

The Halcyon Fairy Book by T. Kingfisher (Ursula Vernon): This has two parts. The Annotated Fairy Tales is a collection of strange fairytales interrupted with amusing commentary from Kingfisher, highlighting the weird bits and speculating about explanations for the characters’ behaviour. Some fairytales are even weirder than I realised. My favourite for its wackiness was “The Golden Apple Tree and the Nine Peahens”. My favourite as a story was “The Deer Prince”. Toad Words and Other Stories is a collection of Kingfisher’s short stories and poems. I love how she blends fairytales with reality, and does so with honesty, hope and humour. I should read everything else she’s written.

Nurk: The Strange, Surprising Adventures of a (Somewhat) Brave Shrew by Ursula Vernon: Nurk the shrew receives a letter intended for his grandmother, whose whereabouts are unknown. Nurk has never left home before but, packing clean socks and his grandmother’s diary (for advice), he sets out to return the letter to sender. Short and illustrated. Cute without being twee.

[thataspdfeel]

that book list I promised

//rubs my grubby hands together happily

Boy howdy do I ever have some book recommendations. This would’ve been posted earlier but mobile decided to go fuck itself. Just a heads up, this is gonna be long

I mostly read series because tbh teen fiction is some of the best. It tends to take the most risks with both style and characterization. (Granted, it also tends to fall risk to some of the worst tropes imo like abuse stalker creepy guy is hot cause he loves protag)

Anything Garth Nix has ever written in his whole life. He’s one of my favorite authors and tends to stick to series. Keys to the Kingdom is 7 books and the first is Mister Monday and you read in order of the days of the week. No really. You’ll see why. His Old Kingdom series is 5 books and a short story so far and starts with Sabriel. It’s about necromancers who keep the dead down rather than raise them. Like I have the biggest boner for this series it’s not even funny

Terry Pratchett is my absolute favorite author of all time (besides Shakespeare) and he’s written over 50 books. You don’t have to read them in any particular order but he does follow characters across books sometimes. I recommend starting with Monstrous Regiment, Small Gods, or Going Postal first. If you want to start in chronological order, I think The Colour of Magic was written first

If you’re patient, read the whole Lord of the Rings series from The Hobbit onward. Tolkien sucks his own dick and describes clouds for a whole page cause he’s a world builder kind of writer. I haven’t had a chance to try the series again but I remember enjoying The Hobbit. Just know this is a very tedious option and may result in more boredom

Less boring is The Chronicles of Narnia but there are a few books that are just an absolute bear to get through. I recommend this right after lotr because these stories are a result OF THE SAME DRUG TRIP because Clive Staples Lewis (no really that’s what CS stands for) and Tolkien were college roommates. And because Narnia is a fucking fun place to visit

George RR Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire cause it includes more detail than Game of Thrones and because I’m always a slut for kingdom musical chairs and dragons

Speaking of dragons, The Inheritance Series which is Eragon etc because it’s like lotr for people who can’t stand reading about a cloud for two pages, almost entirely action. Plus, in one of the books, they (Eragon and Saphira) do a couple of really stupid, slightly offensive things to the elves and admit their mistakes which I thought was cool cause it feels like sometimes protagonists don’t apologize in books

Chris D'Lacey also writes these REALLY COOL books about dragons called The Last Dragon Chronicles where these ladies make dragons out of clay and I’m 90% sure The Fire Within is the first book. There are at least 7 and I really need to catch up

Angie Sage writes about a boy named Septimus Heap who’s the 7th son of a 7th son and those books start with Magyk and there are at least 6 maybe 9. They’re fucking awesome and full of magic and adventure and I’m pretty sure he gets a pet dragon somewhere

Suzanne Collins also writes a lot of great stuff but I REALLY like her Gregor the Overlander series. Think Alice in Wonderland with a guy and no drugs and it’s awesome

Anything Rick Riordan has ever written in his life. I love love love the Percy Jackson series and he also wrote Children of the Lamp which is the bomb dot com about djinn children

Douglas Adams has a whole Hitchhiker’s Guide series and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is the first and it’s just bonkers and loads of fun. Basically earth gets blown up and the protagonist has to deal with it. An absolute riot

James Rollins writes the Blood Infernal series about vampires and were-beings not just werewolves. The first book is Sanguine and the protagonist’s best friend is a werewolf. The first two books don’t have much to do with each other aside from being in the same universe but book three picks up at the end of book one and ties them both together. I’m pretty sure there’s sex

I’d also recommend anything Edgar Allen Poe or Shakespeare ever wrote. I know that’s more Classical Canon or whatever the fuck but honestly? Delightful. Same sentiment for Stephen King

I can’t remember the names of all the series I’ve read but these I definitely do. So onto individual books!

I, Coriander by Sally Gardener set in 17th century London and has to do with a fairy world if I remember correctly

Fairest by Gail Carson Levine about a really ugly inn keeper’s daughter and it’s kind of a retelling of Snow White (She wrote other stand alones but I haven’t read them. Based off this, though, I’d recommend them)

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie about a girl who immigrates from Nigeria(?) to the US and it’s just really really good

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe set in Nigeria(?) right when colonialism happens. The first part is pre-colonialism and then it gets into the beginnings of it and all this happens within the lifespan of one man. Trigger warning though for mentions of abuse, explicit child murder and explicit suicide. Like it’s a good book but it’s gonna be a rough ride if you don’t know what you’re in for

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez is good, if tedious. It’s a Latin American book so the story is circular and told in spirals. I literally have no other way to describe it. Also don’t ignore the family chart at the very beginning because people get the same names across generations and it’s absolutely hellish. Trigger warning for incest, I think rape, definitely abuse, and a baby gets eaten by ants at the end which is more gross than anything

Black Rain by Kuroi Ame is about the bombing of Hiroshima. I’m pretty sure that’s all the trigger warning you’re going to need

The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie is a collection of short stories about various Native American characters living on a reservation

Black Elk Speaks by John G. Neihardt is about a Blackfoot medicine man who finally talks about his life but it’s less interview and more John interpreting things so this needs to be read a little critically

Lame Deer, Seeker of Visions by Richard Erdoes is a book where a Sioux medicine man talks directly to Erdoes from a Native perspective about various things from sex to politics. Was a joy to read honestly. Very enlightening

Hagakure by Yamamoto Tsunetomo basically entails the way of the bushido or the samurai code more or less. Kind of technical but I enjoyed it

Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause is about the werewolf protagonist trying to fit into her pack and figure out how to be a teenager. There’s at least one graphic mention of death (I think). It could also be suicide) so heads up

The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause is a vampire romance set in the 90′s and has absolutely nothing to do with the other book and was definitely something I loved. The protagonist watches her mother waste away from illness so avoid if that’s not something you can handle. Apparently, there are more stories (which I’d LOVE to read) and I’d recommend them just based off the two I have read

The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney was amazing and I’ve just found out it’s a series not just a stand-alone so I know what’s going on my to-read list. It’s about an apprentice to The Spook who puts down evil things that hide in the dark. Kind of spine-tingling so if you don’t do horror, don’t read when it’s dark. It’s not horror-horror but if it’s not your thing, definitely read during the day

A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner is the only thing Faulkner ever wrote I can possibly stand. It’s a short story and the time is out of order but I still liked it

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is also a short story and my absolute favorite

Also not a book, but I greatly enjoy the Puritan poet Anne Bradstreet but not everybody does because 1 early American literature and 2 Puritan but that’s something if poetry is up your alley

Black Beauty by Anna Sewell is about the life of a horse set from the horse’s perspective. No seriously. With I statements and everything. I thought it was very interesting. (I was also like 8)

White Fang by Jack London is by wolves. I don’t remember much more than that because of how long ago I read it but it was probably decent since it stuck in my mind

The Whipping Boy by Sid Fleischman is about a prince’s whipping boy which is a thing because you can’t spank a prince directly so you have to punish somebody else. V interesting

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl was very enjoyable. I like Roald Dahl anyway but the concept of a chocolate factory was awesome. I also read it before I saw either movie and before the remake

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is pretty good but skip the epistolary at the beginning and read it after if you want to spare yourself some headache

Dracula by Bram Stoker is a classic and just really fun and I can definitely see why it’s a classic

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman was really interesting and honestly, I’d read anything that man writes after I read that

The Help by Kathryn Stockett is even better than the movie but there’s abuse mentions in it like even more so than the movie. If you haven’t seen the movie, heads up for graphic depictions of miscarriage, racial violence, and I don’t remember if the one death mentioned is graphic or not but it’s a heavy book

I’d have more but I can’t remember their damned names right now and it’s bugging me. I also have obscure video game recs because I’m one of those indie freaks. They tend to really draw me in

Also, if you like manga, I’ve read like idk how many series but a shitload and the day onemanga shut down was the day my soul died

Anyway, I hope this is fine. It isn’t even the half of what I’ve read. Like I spent almost all of my childhood reading and I enjoyed most of it. I just wish I could remember book names. Their stories are floating around in my head, just not their names. If I remember any more, I’ll probably add to this list

[sargenthouse]

EarthQuaker Devices Interview w/ Mike Watt of Big Walnuts Yonder, & the Minutemen

photo by Will Ragozzino

by Aaron Rogers  - full article via EarthQuaker Devices

In 2008, I first heard the news that Watt formed a “supergroup” with Nels Cline, Tera Melos guitarist Nick Reinhart, and Deerhoof’s Greg Saunier on drums. In 2014, the group, now called Big Walnuts Yonder, recorded an album. On May 5, 2017, Big Walnuts Yonder was released, and once again I had more questions than answers.

Big Walnuts Yonder swiftly avoids the typical supergroup missteps. It is not a “musician’s” album. There is no jamming. Even at its hairiest it’s clear that this recording is the result of four musicians coming together to make songs. It’s a document of musical conversations taking place over three days at Brooklyn’s Studio G. In Watt-speak, “a pure music connect.”

Eight of the ten songs were composed on bass by Watt, who sent his ideas, or “launchpads,” as he calls them, to the rest of the group via email. The remaining songs, Nels Cline’s instrumental “Flare Star Phantom” and Greg Saunier’s “All Against All” were learned by the band on the spot in the studio. Nick Reinhart plays guitar throughout and sings on all but three songs: the aforementioned instrumental, and the one-two gut punch of “I Got Marty Feldman Eyes” and “Raise the Drawbridges?” which feature spiel from Watt.

Shortly after the release of Big Walnuts Yonder, I met up with Watt at Cleveland’s Beachland Ballroom, where before and after soundcheck with his band the Jom & Terry Show, we talked about gear, collaboration in the internet age, and the making of Big Walnuts Yonder.

Mike Watt: Okay, now [I got] those pedals right before I left [for China], but I had a couple days to use ‘em - I even recorded something for a guy in Macedonia named Vasko. Great cat. He gave me this track, said “put a bass solo on.” So that’s where I’ve used ‘em. And it really worked. It was happenin’. I used both the envelope filter and the fuzz.

What I got was Bellows and Spatial Delivery, kind of a Bootsy thing, the envelope. It’s dynamic - how hard you play it. Mu-Tron. I had one of those, and they were okay. I like yours better. And I liked your fuzz thing, too. It gave a lot of character to the solo. The guy really dug it. With the Spatial, too, I could really get it in there with the beat of the song. It was trippy. Y’know what I’m talking about? I duuno what exactly it is - I know it’s got a sensitivity and it’s got a place where you want put the resonance up or down. . . the intensity is what I got. I could find a place that was in the beat of the song. It’s trippy. Wow-wow. [Emulates bass guitar through an envelope filter].

That was very hard to get with the Mu-Tron. I could get it really quick with yours. I’m gonna spend more time - I wanna do more groove things. Y’ know, I don’t only do bass solos. I wanna work it into tunes. I got a song I’m doin’ with a guy from Tokyo and I’m gonna use both. Not at the same time. I’m think I’ll use the envelope filter through the whole thing, then when it comes to certain parts [I’ll use the Bellows]. I really like the character of both boxes. I know they’re coming from very well-known territory, but they still got that thing. The Bellows thing I dug, ‘cuz the problem with a lot of fuzz is losing the low end. So people have dealt with that with bypasses and blends, but you guys don’t do that.

Aaron Rogers: Nope, the Bellows is more like an amp . . .

Watt: That’s right. Yeah. But there’s somethin’ organic about it that don’t sound, I dunno, make it all thin-ass and shit. The only place I heard it before, and he showed me, maybe it was a Vox Super Fuzz?

[Adam] Yauch used this thing in “Sabotage,” remember that Beasties song? It even had a spring loaded switch��� That bass was bad! I think it was a Super Fuzz, a Vox Super Fuzz. He showed me the pedal once. I love that dude. So sad! He’s a good cat. You know, the Stooges’ shit got stolen in Montreal in 2008. The next day he sends me a bass. A Les Paul Professional, like ’69, weighed fifteen pounds. Low impedance pickups, it’s a trippy thing. But his heart - beautiful man.

AR: Do you do much home recording?

Watt: Now things are different than the old days when you had to get in a room with people. Mostly. Nowadays you can collaborate. Send a file through BigFileSend, or whatever the fuck. You can trade files, so you can collaborate. I’ve done whole albums with dudes I’ve never even met! It’s a pure music connect.

They just send you over the things, say Watt, this cat in Canada, he’s got the same name as the Yes guy, Steve Howe, but it ain’t that one. I don’t know that guy. I know this young man . . . I kinda don’t know him. All I know him is by his music, his songs. I just thought it was interesting. Why not do it?

I did a proj . . . found out later Cedric [Bixler-Zavala] did the drums! It was somethin’ called Anywhere. This drummer-man who went to 12-string guitar. So I play to this . . . and the drumming, I’m really into it. I find out later, Cedric - I thought he was just a singer - At The Drive-In. I didn’t even know!

So, I call the studio Thunderpants, and I got an HD Pro Tool thing. Mac silver tower. I don’t have the trash can. I heard they’re dumpin’ that anyway. That was a bad move. 2008 and the motherfucker’s still great!

I use [an Avid HD] OMNI. Then I use . . . a UA LA-610, which is a tube preamp, and it’s got an optical compressor that you can bypass, because in that rack I also got an 1176 by UA and I kinda use that one more. The other one’s a little soft, but there’s something about the character - you don’t even have to be compressin’ and there’s something about the 1176 that gives you more presence. It’s got a mid-thing. Then I don’t go right in.

I use the OMNI, actually, as a dongle. I SPDIF off a BURL B2 ADC. It’s happenin’. It’s got Iron, right. It can ‘satch. And with the bass, you get enough blur. I traded out the front end tube [in the LA-610] for a 12at7 so I can get into mush a little more. That’s about it.

Oh yeah, I do have a mic, too, because I do spiel. I found a Russian Oktava [MK-519] and I had it modded by Mike Joly. He’s happenin’. Different basket, the capsule, all that shit. So I’m set. I’ve been doin’ it this way for years. The one part that ain’t solved is the creative part, but maybe it should never be solved? You should always be strugglin’. Keep goin’ at it. Tool-wise, you find stuff that works and it sticks.

I don’t use a lot of other stuff. But I think I’m gonna be usin’ these pedals! The only pedal I really use is a tuner.

AR: That’s the only one you need! I mean, I work for a pedal company, but you know…

Watt: Okay, I tried. I didn’t wanna be some guy who talks about something without ever tryin’. So my second opera, The Secondman’s Middle Stand, about the sickness in 2000 that almost murdered me… Well, I used Dante’s Divine Comedy - the Inferno was gettin’ sick, Purgatory was healin’ up, and Paradise was workin’ the bass, and kayaking, and bicycling. I used pedals on the whole motherfuckin’ thing! I used a phase - usually Boss or whatever.  One was a phase, one was an envelope, one was a fuzz, but I couldn’t turn ‘em on at the right time at the gigs! It was hard. I tried it. I did three tours with it, and I thought, “You know what, I’m goin’ back to just playin’ fingers.” But, this thing where you’re recording and you collaborate, it don’t matter where I turn it on. If I fuck up I just do it again!

AR: How did online collaboration come into play with Big Walnuts Yonder?

Watt: Nick Reinhart (Tera Melos) wants to talk to me about the first opera, Contemplating the Engine Room. “Who’s that guitar man?” Nels Cline. Which was a trippy-ass, almost déjà vu thing from a few years earlier with Mr. Shimmy in Tokyo. “Mr. Mike, who’s this guitar man on your first opera?” And I said to him then, “You wanna know him? Play with him!”

So I got a ticket and me and him went to Tokyo in three days and made the first Brother’s Sister’s Daughter album. And of course you know Nels’ background. He tried to bring free music to SoCal for years and years. Now he’s in New York City and there’s a whole scene there. He’s got a twin brother named Alex, too. They’re incredible cats.

“So, Nick, you want to know him? Play with him!” Nels said “bring it.”

Y’know I did my first opera - I got it all together, the libretto all the music . . . [Nels] never heard it.

You know that first take feel? You can really do that with Nels. He spent so many years doing improv - he just picks up on it. So I told Nels, and he says, “Yeah, bring this kid. But, look, have him pick a drummer.” “Hey Nick, what do you think?” “Well, what about Greg Saunier?”

Trip thing was, 17 years ago, Nels brings me to bring me to see my first Deerhoof gig. He’s old friends of his. And he had just moved to New York City. And who’s in New York City? Former Cleveland guy, big bass hero. When Pere Ubu played the Whisky in West Hollywood in ’77 [it] just blew me and D. Boon’s mind. Tony Maimone! And he’s got a studio in Brooklyn - Studio G.

So they’re both living there, only me and Nick have to fly there, and we do it in three days. I wrote eight songs, just on the bass. Nels is way into it. It’s like a launchpad or a springboard. Other dudes are like, “Whoa! Not enough information! It’s like writing on the kick drum or the cymbals.” But he likes it. Guitar? Piano? A little too much harmonic content. He wants to be free.

One time, Bass Player magazine asked me the future of bass. I was gonna say, “Twenty more strings,” but then I thought, “No, maybe composition. Maybe [bass] ain’t the last thing you put on. Maybe it could be the first thing.” And they’re not just lines, these are whole songs. And they’re meant to have holes. I build [them] in to see what’s gonna happen. What they’re gonna bring. . . I’m more like a composer. Just doing it on this trippy instrument. Even Charlie Mingus never composed on bass. Always piano. I think the future of bass is composition.

This is what we did. We did eight of ‘em. Nels brought in one. Greg brought in one. I never heard ‘em until the day in the studio. But Nick wanted to hear my eight. And what he did was, he went and wrote parts. He wrote parts to all eight of my tunes. So when it came time to do ‘em in New York City at Studio G, I got to use Tony’s bass, a ’66 Jazz with EMG pickups. Badass bridge, too.

Y’know, it’s all about people I’ve found in this movement. Or music, period. I’m not really into genres and all that shit. Music’s music. But people are so important. I also did the third opera with that bass. I also didn’t have to bring one on the plane! But it’s fuckin’ Tony Maimone’s. So he writes parts to all this stuff. But still, there’s Nels in the moment - hasn’t heard any of it. And the dynamic between the two...

I got the title [Big Walnuts Yonder] from a Richard Melzer poem. Big hero of me and D. Boon’s. He wrote lyrics for Blue Oyster Cult, but he also invented rock writing. In the 60s he wrote a book called The Aesthetics of Rock. Incredible cat. Lives in Portland now. Crawdaddy, Rolling Stone, all that. He wrote a book about it later on called A Whore Just Like the Rest, because he got pretty [burnt out]. Anyway, not to get bummed out...

But Big Walnuts Yonder, I just thought, “I know something’s gonna happen between the dynamic of these two [Nick and Nels].” And I didn’t use any pedals. But they fuckin’ did! I think thirty-five each. It was like watching a dance. Sittin’ there, I’m watching this thing happen. And Nels is just so generous. I mean, I read stories about Robert Johnson turning around so dudes couldn’t see the licks. Nels ain’t like that. He’s like, “Look at this, look at this.” Nick’s just soakin’ it up like a sponge.

Greg’s over there - he’s a muso. I mean, he’s not just a drummer. He only had a kick, snare, and a hi-hat! Big hi-hats, like twenty inches or something. It’s amazing, the dialogue. I adjusted a little bit, but I kept to what I wrote. And then I had to learn theirs in the moment. Nels is great at giving direction. He’s visualizing it for you. Like Perry - in Porno for Pyros I did three tours, and he never gave you chords, he always told you the story of the song! “Got it, Mike?” And I’m like, “okay!” But it’s a neat way. There’s something about getting people in without them being puppets. Greg’s the same way. He’s got a laugh, man. I think it’s on the album. It’s what the old scene was about. It’s about individuals. Only one Darby, one Pat.

AR: A band like the Germs only comes around once . . .

Watt: Yeah. Remember, they tried with [Shane West?] But I should get to this part . . . We get done, and we think the record’s gonna be an instrumental album. All done. We get home, and Nick puts singin’ on everything but Nels’ song! And he writes me and asks, “Mike, tune “T” and “U,” I want you to put spiel on.” ‘Cuz I just named ‘em like tune” R,” “S,” “T,” “U,” “V.” I wanted names after they were realized. All of us were tripped out. They got all this singn’ and words.

AR: So you had no idea when you tracked the album that the songs would have lyrics?

Watt: No, I didn’t. That’s the young man, the new guy, the student, keepin’ us students! Because that’s what life’s about, I think - being a student. So in a lot of ways, the record is a collection of accidents and coincidences. It’s trippy. There’s a lot of intention, and we’re gonna do this . . . but in another way, we let the freak flag fly and let it float a little bit, and then it ends up being what it is, that no one imagined.

AR: What’s the story behind your two songs, “Raise the Drawbridges?” and “I Got Marty Feldman Eyes?”

Watt: . . . maybe I’m biased because I’m in the arts, but I think about the arts . . . okay, maybe some people aren’t professional talkers, but they still know how to talk. The idea that things get too uptight, it’s tough for me. The other one was me trying to explain to Greg a motif that was musical. I had just done some benefits for Strummerville, this organization in Joe Strummer’s name to help young bands. And I don’t really know [the] Clash except for the first record and the singles. I don’t really know “Rock The Casbah,” except it was on the radio. I only really like the first album. So we had to learn ‘em to do these benefits - all these old songs like “1977” and “Complete Control,” so I used some of that for one tune, just because it was current in my life.

So I tell Greg this, and he goes, “Oh, so you want an angry white young man vibe?” And I was like, “No, it’s really more about these chords.”  It’s not like Ramones. It’s weird. It’s got kind of a Reggae, or Gilbert & Sullivan thing. The English punk was a little different, which was okay. Wire was a little different, too. And Pop Group, they put Funkadelic with Beefheart. You don’t have to all copy the Ramones. In fact, the Ramones did a pretty good job being the Ramones. So that was the thing, and of course Greg got it like that. I mean, guy went to Oberlin . . . and why not talk about things? My pop said, “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” He thought it was destined.

AR: My mom used to say that, too.

Watt: It’s so clever. The most righteous coincidence for teaching that ethic. I remember explaining it to [Greg], and this guy’s lookin’ at me, and it’s like Marty Feldman eyes. Much respect to Marty Feldman. But you know what, [Greg] let it go, and that’s what music’s for. It was beautiful. So those were my two songs. I don’t know where [Nick’s] words are coming from, where his singing’s coming from. That’s all Nick Reinhart. But since he was the spark that got the whole thing going, I don’t think nobody had anything to say about it. It’s how it evolved. The whole thing was a happy accident in some ways. I wanted Nick to know Nels by playing with him.

Big Walnuts Yonder is out now on Sargent House.

[red-alynore]

What We Do

Alynore found Dolraan in the cathedral of the Sanctum, looking up at the statue of General Turalyon, lost in thought. She walked up next to him and stood in silence as well for a moment, before finally clearing her throat and speaking. “Supposedly met him once, but I was too young to remember.”

“I often find myself wondering if he's faced the same kind of challenges I run into these days,” Dolraan said.

“More than likely.”

“Wonder what he'd do in my shoes.”

“What he'd do isn't the point,” she replied. “It's what you do. S'all any of us can manage, cuz we're the ones in it.”

“There's something beyond Henii's reappearance that's troubling me,” Dolraan said. “Something I'm hoping you can dispel as nerves and pointless worry.”

“Go for it.” Thank the Light Dolraan understood how to get to the damned point.

“Deacon Albrecht was murdered a couple weeks ago. Shot dead in his office. Eyewitness just saw a tall, broad shouldered man with dark hair.”

Nore frowned. “Wondered what the X on the report meant when I caught a glimpse. Recognized the name, too. “

Dolraan nodded. “He had no connection with the Legion battle, aside from providing medical aid to soldiers permanently off the line. He was Terry's doctor once he was returned to Azeroth. Alynore...was Terry in Suramar for the entire mission, or was he moving freely?”

“Right, why I recognized him. We spoke a bit, when Terry petitioned to join...” Nore blinked at the last question, and then frowned. She pulled out a small personal notebook, most of the pages nearly black with cramped writing. “He was back and forth. Dalaran, Stormwind, when he wasn't in deep cover; he needed a break after that.”

Dolraan closed his eyes for a long moment. “I was afraid you'd say that. That puts him on the suspect list. Ser Bloodleaf is investigating, and will probably want to question him.”

“C'mon, that description could be a hundred men. Why would Terry kill a Crusade doctor?”

“Terry has a past of murderous mental illness and a personal connection. Ser Bloodleaf is thorough and an asshole. I was hoping to head it off, hoping that I was just being paranoid and that he'd have a solid alibi.”

“He might, I don't track my people 24-7. Why's it gotta be Bloodleaf?”

“Tyrosus wanted someone with no connection to victim or the short list. Sorry to drop this on you, with everything else going on. But I figured better to hear it from me before having Bloodleaf hand you a writ...which you can probably expect before you leave the Sanctum.”

“...Did you set me up to get handed a warrant?” Nore stared down at her friend.

“No, she was going to ambush you regardless. I'm ruining that for her,” Dolraan smirked, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“Gee, thanks.”

“Never said I was happy with any of this.”

“It's just not a good day. And to top it off, one of my drinking buddies is out of commission.” Nore rubbed her face.

“I'm hoping Terry can ‘charm’ his way through the interview and maybe set Bloodleaf on the right trail to find the killer.”

Nore looked back down at Dolraan. “Have you met Terry?”

Dolraan said ‘charm’ again, this time making sure she saw the air quotes. “And I may have a bottle or three of pre-infusion arcwine handy.”

“See, that's what I'm afraid of. You know how well he takes criticism--an accusation of murder...”

“I know, but I don't see a way out of it. Tyrosus told me to keep my distance; I'm way too close to Terry and Albrecht both. He won't let any Crusader within a country mile of this one. The Silver Hand needs to be a beacon of reason and truth, and all that.”

“Never did get that idiom; a mile is a mile.”

Dolraan shrugged. “I'm a city boy, don't ask me.”

Nore let out a heavy breath. “OK then. Deal with Bloodleaf, deal with Terry. Then take you up on that arcwine.”

“I'll be at the bar. Not like I can do much else right now, anyway.”

“Man, we haven't just hung out in a while, have we?”

“Never should have let the old men put us in charge, sister.”

“No kidding. Doesn't help I'm feeling...pulled in multiple directions, between all this and the Dragoons.” Nore gestured around at the Sanctum, and the other paladins giving the two councilors wide berth for their discussion.

“At least we're not alone at the top.”

“Cheers to that.”

“Well, not yet, the bottles are over at the bar,” Dolraan said with a wink.

Nore chuckled. “Right. And I gotta pre-ambush a snotty elf.”

“Have fun with that. I think she's skulking near the mission board.” He turned away to start the trek to the bar.

“Don't get drunk without me,” Nore called after him, before making a sharp about-face to begin the march up the long hall toward the waiting inquisitor.

(( @sirdolraan @mremaknu ))

[one-of-us-blog]

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself (TGG, Season 3, Episode 5)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself, Episode 5 of the third season of The Golden Girls.  Will this episode be an uplifting reminder of all that is good about the show, or will the whole thing go down in flames?  Keep reading to find out…

My recap is shamefully tardy once more, but before I get started, I have to chime in on Jon’s review of Journey’s End!  Cap, it’s really hard for me to believe that you’ve already completed Series 4 of Doctor Who!  I’m glad that you enjoyed Catherine Tate’s run so much, but also very sad that you had to experience the tragic ending to the Donna Noble story arc.  I really don’t mind a sad ending to things, and even thought that Rose’s tearful finale in Series 2 was quite good.  But like you, I feel like they went out of their way to give Rose a happier ending, even creating a human clone of the Doctor in the process to stay with her.  I don’t necessarily mind that as a story choice (okay, I feel like it cheapens the original tragedy somewhat), but it’s a shame that it is paired with Donna basically forgetting everything she has been through in her time aboard the TARDIS.  That’s almost more heartbreaking than a death scene to me.  It took Catherine Tate a while to grow on me, but I really appreciate what she brought to the show, and how different her character was from those who came before.  At any rate, I’m really excited to see what you make of the series of specials (The Next Doctor, Planet of the Dead, The Waters of Mars, and The End of Time, Part I & II) that come before the start of the next full series.  From my memory they are a pretty mixed bag, but I enjoyed The Waters of Mars in particular.  And there’s one element of The Next Doctor in particular that I think you’re sure to find enticing.

Anyway, enough rambling…let’s head to Miami!

Episode written by Christopher Lloyd, directed by Terry Hughes

As the episode opens, Sophia is hard at work baking lasagna for a cooking contest.  Dorothy and Blanche are lured in by the aroma and want a taste, and Sophia is happy to oblige.  They both declare the dish a success, but Sophia has incredible standards (and a mild to moderate sense of paranoia) and claims that neither of them had “the look” that every great chef longs to see.  Therefore, the lasagna is garbage food.  Rose enters with the mail, and she is clearly in distress.  She has just learned via letter that her Aunt Gretchen has died.  Wait, how many of Rose’s relatives are going to kick the bucket this season?  Has her death curse moved beyond her love interests to her extended family?  Aunt Gretchen (who Rose hated) didn’t leave her a prized swine with the promise of major pigbucks, but she did leave her an obligation to speak at her funeral.  Rose is at her wit’s end, and not just because she is a reluctant eulogizer; it turns out that public speaking is her biggest fear.  However, as the oldest niece of the deceased, speaking at the ceremony is her sacred obligation, for reasons.  Dorothy gives her some completely original and never-before-dreamed-of advice, telling her that she can overcome her anxiety by picturing the audience naked.  Heck, she might even have a laugh!  The advice backfires on Dorothy when both Blanche and Rose try this out on her, and lose themselves in a chucklefest.

We cut to a new scene, and Sophia is working on attempt number two for the cooking contest.  This time, a nice veal parmesan is on the menu.  It must be magical, because a “picture this” story reveals that this very meal was responsible for Dorothy’s conception.  Personally, I’m just thankful that my mother still has a filter.  Rose continues to be worried about her speaking gig.  After all, she totally choked when she gave a speech as her school’s valedictorian.  This nugget of information comes as a bit of a surprise to the other girls, but Rose reveals that she was awarded this honor despite being ranked fourth in her class; by now, we should all be aware that everything that happens in St. Olaf is perfectly logical.  In a further attempt to be encouraging, Dorothy reveals that she once had a fear of flying.  She was forced to overcome this fear in order to attend her sister’s wedding, but therapy did the trick.  Blanche claims not to have had a major fear, but she used to have a troubling recurring dream in which she was trapped in a small space with bald men, and heard the voice of God.  Positive thinking got her through, and the girls encourage Rose to think positively herself and go work on her speech.  When she leaves, Blanche and Dorothy both want to know what the other would have to say at their funeral, and Blanche’s statements are (not surprisingly) less flattering than Dorothy’s.

Later, out on the lanai, Rose is ready to practice her speech.  She has trouble and begs Dorothy and Blanche to come to the funeral to lend moral support.  The friends reluctantly agree, and Rose goes to make plane reservations as her aunt is being buried in the Bahamas.  Wait, plane reservations?  On a small plane, no less?  Is Dorothy over her own fear?  Judging by her reaction, probably not.  As a side note, I’ll just assume that the girls traveled exclusively by boat back in Vacation.

The girls are getting ready to leave for their plan ride (already dressed in their funeral garb), but Dorothy tries to weasel out of the trip by claiming that her mother is sick.  Unfortunately for her, Sophia walks in the front door and spoils her clever ruse.  Ma Petrillo apparently needed some wine for the big cooking contest; not for the food, mind you, but she wants to get liquored up in case she needs to cut a bitch.  Dorothy and Rose are both ready to bail on the whole trip, but Blanche gives them a great pep talk and away we go!  Buttocks tight, everyone!

On the plane, Dorothy is bruising Blanche’s arm (and head) for comfort while the flight attendant presents the safety information and Rose summarizes her eulogy.  Blanche suddenly realizes that they are on a plane with exclusively bald men, and reveals that her dark recurring dream ended in a plane crashing into the ocean.  Oh well, at least she hasn’t heard the voice of God.  At this moment, Captain Lord decides to address the passengers from the cockpit…

Now that the girls are all good and nervous, they decide that if they have to go down, at least they get to go down together.  Captain Lord reveals that they are now about to fly into a tropical storm, but this particularly dark cloud has a silver lining.  For the sake of everyone’s safety, the plane is turning around and heading back to Miami!  Dorothy can stop flying, Blanche can stop worrying, and Rose won’t have to give her speech after all!  Rose feels disappointed that she didn’t get to face her fears, however, and with a little prompting delivers her eulogy for Aunt Gretchen to her fellow airplane passengers.  It goes pretty well, even if Aunt Gretchen honestly sounds pretty scary.  Rose then gets scolded by the flight attendant, and Captain Lord delivers some playfully sadistic airplane humor to his captive audience.

Back at home, Sophia is surprised to see the girls return so soon.  She reveals that she won the cooking contest with her mussels marinara, even though the contest was close.  A little too close, actually.  Sophia was in a neck-and-neck competition with one other competitor, until that particular opponent dropped dead – unexpectedly – at a cooking contest – in competition with Sophia.  Well, I’m pretty sure you can add one more to Ma Petrillo’s unacknowledged murder total.  With one final sadistic turn, Sophia also reveals that she volunteered Rose to deliver her latest victim’s eulogy.

The End.

This was a pretty good episode!  Even though this was a somewhat Rose-centric episode, I mostly enjoyed the payoff of an airplane full of bald men to torment Blanche.  Hey, what’s wrong with bald men?  We’re pretty great!  I also always find it delightful when Blanche is insistent upon receiving compliments from her friends, but only reciprocates by complimenting them in a way that is very self-serving (as in her eulogy discussion with Dorothy).  Rose had a pretty great St. Olaf story to share, and the episode clearly gave me more fuel for my Sophia conspiracy theories.  So with all of that in mind, I will happily give Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself a score of 4 poofy hairdos out of 5!

Stop back in tomorrow (or possibly today, given that I posted my recap late), when Jon gives us his thoughts on another Doctor Who Christmas special, The Next Doctor.  And be sure to check in on Friday, when I will be reviewing Letter to Gorbachev, the next episode of The Golden Girls.  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!