#i don’t know how to tag this because frankly. im not sure if it actually is the thing im thinking of

[lovestruckpdf]

,

[honey-flustered]

You’re Not The Boss Of Me (MDNI +18)

Dom!Eddie Munson x Bratty!Sub!Reader

Summary: After showing your true colors to Eddie, you use this to your advantage, being as bratty as you can to get a rise out Eddie. But understand that how ever mean you are to him only allows him to be just as mean…maybe even more.

A/N: this was in my drafts for some long and now im just deciding to release it even though it’s not exactly what how I wanted it. I’m continuing to have issues revising my work over and over and never publishing so i figured i’d let this go. First part is in reader’s POV then of course goes in second POV. A sequel to Come Again

Word Count: 2.8k+

Warnings: smut, established relationship, hinted bully!eddie, mean!reader, mean!eddie, dom/sub dynamics, fake nice!reader, panty fetish, mutual masturbation, finger sucking, cum eating, handjob, some ass/body worship, reader and eddie are in love but f*d up, tattoo artist!eddie, reader has piercings (nipple play)

Power comes in all forms and positions. Even if you’re a submissive. You’d probably look at someone like me, seemingly so sweet and docile, and think “Awww, she doesn’t have not an evil bone in her body.” But that’s what we, “good girls”, want you to do: underestimate us. That’s what makes us so powerful because eventually we get what we want.

Here’s where I was able to exercise my power with my dear boyfriend, Eddie Munson. Two weeks ago, I was able to break through to his innocent act with me. Call it great minds thinking alike but we’ve both held up this facade of being good when around each other because of the shame to act on our most carnal desires. But quiet mouths don’t get fed and, frankly, I had enough. So I called him out on his shit.

“You’re vanilla as FUCK.” I said.

And that moment truly became the beginning of what’s become of our relationship today:

Two sick fucks who enjoy getting a rise out of each other.

—————

Oh, the power you get from being a pampered brat in public and treated like a whore in bed. It was the best of both worlds and Eddie sure knows how to treat a lady. With him, you could truly be the mean bitch you’d hoped to be. Of course, this was only behind closed doors as you still could see the benefits of being a good girl in everyone else’s eyes. Only Eddie got to see your true nature. You’re a bitch and you made it evident that you didn’t care and it actually got you off being one to Eddie. This was fine, though. He loved it, too. In return, he gets a succubus disguised as a sweet beauty in his arms to dominate as he pleases.

You’d like to think the power’s evenly distributed amongst the two of you. You’re both unfiltered, whorish, and wicked. It was the perfect symbiotic relationship of sexual energy.

At times, you feel like Eddie’s giving you a run for your money as his wickedness proves to outweigh your own. The annoying pervert. He really likes to tease past the point of suffering and what’s worse…he still hasn’t fucked you yet. You were so sure that he’d give in by now after the nights you’ve shared but it never goes beyond second base. Even when you’ve put on your ‘bitch girl pants’ and laid down some rules.

Oh, well. If you don’t get to drain his balls, the least you can do is drain his pockets.

“What do you think of this dress?” You say, twirling around in the mirror in front of you. Currently, you were both in the dressing room of a French boutique. You’ve been shopping all day, hopping from store to store. Eddie’s clearly impatient but he takes it like the good boyfriend he is.

“I think this is the one,” He says, low on energy. “You look hot.”

“I’d like some more poetic-ness to your words.”

“Okay,” He raises to his feet, gripping your hips from behind. “Then, you’re as fucking hot as a thousand suns.”

“I know right,” You beam then quickly wave him away from your personal space. “Buy it for me.”

He examines the price tag attached to the seam of the dress then looks up at you with a deadpan stare. He’s followed you store to store like a mindless zombie all day, receiving zero affection from you and now you’re looking to buy a dress for an even higher amount. If he hadn’t been so distracted by watching your sexy ass try on all these clothes that accentuate your curves, he’d have called it quits long ago. The only thing he held onto was that you’d eventually reward him with your touch in return.

“This would cost me my entire dealer’s earnings for the week!” He exclaims.

“Yeah, but you have that check coming in for the tattoo shop. You’ll only be poor— for what— a day. You want to keep me happy, don’t you? Then you’ve gotta fund your popular angel girlfriend’s expensive lifestyle. It shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“It’s a huge deal! I’ve bought you plenty of dresses throughout the week and you haven’t even worn some of them.”

“And you’re still complaining like you always do.” You say while rolling your eyes.

“You may not be a good girl anymore but I’m going to make it my mission to correct this little behavior of yours.”

“What? You’ll spank me again? You don’t get to touch me unless I get what I want. We have rules for this relationship. Unhappy girlfriend = blue balled boyfriend. But if you’d have just fucked me already maybe I wouldn’t be such a bitch. You scared you’ll cum in one stroke or something?”

“Actually, I’m scared you’ve got teeth down there and, with your personality, it doesn't seem that far fetched.”

“Say what you will but I’ll always be Hawkins’ sweetheart. Even being in a relationship with you couldn’t tarnish that image sadly. Ah, well,” You remove the dress, now in your underwear as you begin dressing in your own clothes again. “Being good has its perks nonetheless.”

“How long do you think that’ll last? What do you think your friends will think of you when I show them all the naughty little footage I have of you in my camcorder? I’m sure they’d love to hear how much Hawkins’ sweetheart loves choking on the freak’s giant cock.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Depends on my mood. But don’t be sad, you might find out how envious your friends are of you now that you’re with someone like me. I did rock a lot of worlds.”

“You’re disgusting.” You hiss with slightly hidden jealousy for the very fact that he’s slept with other girls. But why not you?

“Maybe I can get you the dress but I’ll want to do something in return.”

“Everything is so transactional with you.”

“Look who’s talking.” He scoffs.

“If you were to simply buy me shit without expecting anything in return, would it really be transactional?” You retort.

“Are you going to accept my terms or not?”

You stare at the hot pink tube dress in your hands. “Fine. What do you want?”

“Let me give you a wedgie.”

“Are you legit high right now? That’s so idiotic, it’s almost comatose inducing. Why?”

“Because it’d be really funny.”

“I’m wearing really expensive underwear right now that costs more than those shoes you’re wearing. Like hell would I let you tear at them.”

“Then, you can forget the deal.”

“Exploitation is what you’re doing. People wouldn’t take kindly to those who participate in such things.”

“Good thing I’ve never been known to care what people think of me.”

He’s right. He’s never given a fuck. That’s what makes him so terrifying… and so very hot.

“Alright,” You pout. “But when I say ‘stop’, your hands should be off me.”

Turning your back to Eddie, you wait for Eddie to begin. He studies the bedazzled words written on the back of your pants of your matching pink tracksuit: “Princess”. He rolls his eyes at this. Could you be any more predictable?

Your thong peeks out at the top of the low rise pants as a style that you’d adopted just enough to show the public the color of your underwear. Also pink.

“A pink goddamn fanatic.” Eddie thinks to himself.

Your jacket is a crop top, exposing the new belly ring piercing Eddie had done for you when you asked via your rebellious stage. Then there’s your silky smooth back that you plan for him to tattoo a tramp stamp onto the lower section. It’s so much skin. Too much skin exposed but he doesn’t mind how you dress. After all, he can fight and honestly he loves seeing you show yourself off while men envy him for obtaining you.

Eddie tugs on the sides of your pants, accessing just enough of your underwear for the top globes of your ass to peek out as well. He bites his lips to keep in a groan, not wanting to give you the satisfaction. His cock is semi-hard and he makes sure to keep his hips at a safe distance so she doesn’t realize his game.

“Bend a little.” He says, voice hoarse from arousal.

You obey, having a slight arch in your back. Massaging the peeked out globes of your ass, he can’t help but to close the gap between your bodies. Your ass was just so soft and round in his hands.

“Hey! You can’t touch me like that unless you get me what I want!” You attempt to wriggle from his grasp but a large hand fists whatever little piece of fabric your underwear has, stilling you.

With a free hand, he smacks your ass causing you to let out a soft whimper. He grinds his cock into the side of your thigh, humping into you like a dog in heat.

Eddie lets out quiet moans in your ear, tugging on your underwear hard after each moan he lets out like following a rhythm. “Unh, ugh, fuck. You’re so damn pretty.”

You grow wet with each tug. The panty strip in the front slips between your labia, rubbing harshly against the clitoris. How embarrassing that you might actually cum from this. He’ll laugh and tease you for sure once you do.

Maybe you should take some power back and make him whimper so you sway your ass a little which earns you another smack on another cheek.

“I didn’t say you could move.” He growls.

Then, you felt it. His bare cock rubbing between the plush globes of your ass, the back thong strip wrapped around the base for further friction.

“Eddie, no. Please…” You put a hand behind you, placing it on the ‘v’ of his abdomen to halt his actions.

“Move it.” He threatens.

“No.” You say defiantly only to shift into a whining hum, when he takes both of your wrists in his hands to pull behind you and brings them beneath the band of your panties. With your hands cupped in a perfect tubular shape, he uses them to jack himself off. You tighten your grip around him, taking control.

“You’re so good with your hands. Why would I need to fuck your greedy little pussy if these could get me off just as good?”

“Unh, fuck…you.”

“Is that always on your mind?” He chuckles.

You're clenching around nothing, knowing that friction on your clit will not be enough to satisfy the aching between your legs. This was purely for his own twisted pleasure but you enjoy it despite priding yourself to be a selfish person.

“I’m so close, princess. Gonna cum all over your pretty hands, your sexy back, and this tight little ass.” He groans.

“Oh god.” You whine, throbbing profusely at his words. You were so close, too.

He notices your hardening nipples poking through your thin jacket and pinches one between his fingers, while the other steadies your hips as he grinds himself into you. You whine almost as if you’re in pain even though he’s not pulling on them roughly. Lowering the zipper to your jacket and one cup of your bra, he pulls out your breast revealing a newly pierced nipple…that he hadn’t pierced. He pulls your hair, lifting your head enough so that you can see his angered expression through the mirror.

“What the fuck is this?” He slaps your breast and you cry out.

“None of your business. It’s not like you’ll do anything about—oh shit!” You scream out as he continues to pull and pinch around the stainless bar. They were so sensitive even after two weeks.

“You're doing things without my knowledge now.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“You’re right,” He laughs darkly then pulls so harshly on your underwear you swear you felt the fabric go up inside your core. “I’m not your boss, I’m your master. So go on and beg for master’s cum.”

“I don’t want you to cum on me.” You mewl, knowing you desperately wanted him to.

“I know you want it, slut,” He growls in your ear. “You want daddy’s cum dripping all over you. To getchu all nice and sticky. Hm? That what you want, pretty girl?”

“Yes, please master,” You give in. “I want you to fucking cum all over me and my slutty ass.”

He cups a hand under your chin from behind, stroking faster into your jerking hands. “That fucking filthy mouth of yours will get you into big trouble someday.”

“Shut up and cum for me already. I wanna taste you.”

“Aw, shiiiit,” He’s getting close but he needs to make you cum. Partly because he loves getting you off and another part is because he knows you’ll give him grief if he doesn’t. “Want you to cum, too, princess.”

He pulls hard on your underwear, using an up and down motion to frantically rub against your sensitive nub and your orgasm takes you by surprise. Your mouth flies open and he slaps a hand over it to keep you from screaming and alerting the staff as he nurses you through your orgasm. The mirror image of you cumming along with your writhing against him triggers his orgasm, cumming hard and seeing stars.

He gropes your hips with both hands, the rings on his fingers bite into your skin as he gives his final thrusts. You feel spurts of his cum everywhere soaking through your underwear as well. You feel a tension between your legs then a release. He’d torn your underwear off your body.

“What the f—-“ You began but Eddie shoves a middle finger coated in his cum into your mouth. Your fury dissipates for a moment as you suck on it earnestly like you would his cock, your skillful tongue tracing over the engraved silver of his ring. The salty-sweet taste of him elicits a satisfied hum from you.

“That’s it. Just like that. Just like how your Master taught you.” He coos, petting your hair. When he senses you getting carried away, he pulls his finger out with a wet ‘pop’. The glistening finger held up to his face so he can study it, making sure you suck it off clean.

“Um, Eddie, your cum is starting to get cold. Can you please clean me off? Also, I’m pretty sure we were loud enough for us to get a few stares the moment we leave this dressing room.”

“I’m sure we turned a lot of people on, too.” He says before putting a finger to his lips so that you can quiet down and focus on the shuffling and thudding going on in the dresser beside yours. Your mouth drops in shock and he laughs.

Eddie lifts the torn underwear in his hands, bringing them to his nose to inhale. God, you’re intoxicating. It’s a wonder for Eddie to have gone this long without burying his cock deep within you. But he enjoys torturing you, hanging it over your head despite it being torturous on his end as well. Somehow your suffering far outweighed any pain he felt. He wants you sobbing for his cock even more than you did two weeks ago. He doesn’t care when or where it happens. You will beg for his cock.

Using the torn fabric, he cleans up his mess then helps you fix your hair and adjust your prim and proper appearance as if nothing had happened. Eddie tends to himself last, tucking his third leg back into his jeans. In the corner of his eye, he could see you watching him and the bulge. You play it off, helping him fix himself when you were really looking to get another glance at his anaconda.

“So…about the dress…”

“What dress?” He smirks.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Munson. I want my dress. You said that you'd buy them if I did this.” You narrow your eyes at him.

“I said ‘maybe’.” He retorts.

You seethe, feeling so angry that steam could shoot out of your ears. “You’re a dick.” You turn to leave when he grabs your wrist and pulls you against him.

“I was just teasing you, sweetness. I would’ve gotten you the dress even if you didn’t go through with it. But it’s so much more fun that you did.” He smacks your ass and you let out a small gasp.

“You’re the best,” You litter his face with multiple kisses, your lipstick staining his skin all over. You kiss the corner of his mouth and it makes him hungry to feel your lips on his but he doesn’t pry. “While you’re buying my hot dress, I’m going to the van to rest my aching feet. I had a loooong day.”

You pat his back, unaware of Eddie staring angrily at you once again at your oblivion to his situation.

[nvuy]

your writing style is a dream of mine, and the pacing & humor in your fics are some of the many reasons i decided to follow you !

i'm trying to write fanfics myself & potentially even run a writing blog! could you share a few writing tips?

you are so cute.

i’ll let you in on a secret: i started actually publishing my fics in 2020, but i since abandoned them because they’re embarrassing. however, here’s one as a starting point. i look back at it and cringe A LOT, but it was my foot in the door, and 15 year old me was very proud of it, so i didn’t want to straight up delete it.

i didn’t start out on tumblr because i get nervous being forced to interact with people because im a pretty abrupt person and i talk about the things that i like too much and im aware that can scare people away. it was about halfway thru writing old habits before i actually posted something. that was this and i posted it because i knew what little audience i had knew ME because i wrote a scaramouche fic. so. scaramouche content.

and because of the tumblr tagging system, people saw it, they liked it, and some people wanted more.

i then interacted with other writers slowly even though i was scared and frankly still am. you dont have to go around asking to be moots or spamming hearts left and right and putting their dicks in ur mouth, but being nice and having a scope around on what other people do on here helped me develop this ugly little blog i have.

i got really into hsr so i write a lot of hsr. i get a lot of people that ask if i could write more genshin impact, and i could, but at the end of the day, it’s my blog, and if i dont want to, i dont have to. i lost interest, so i dont really have to care about it, nor pay it any mind. do i still write it? sure! rarely, but i do. i don’t play wuwa anymore, but im down to write a piece or two if i get an idea, etc etc.

another thing is: don’t write in the hopes that you’ll post it on tumblr. same way i don’t think artists should draw just for the sake of posting. i have so much shit laying on various docs that won’t even be shown on this site, because it doesn’t need to be here. not because it’s bad, or it’s weird, but because i don’t have to post it, because it’s my blog.

the thing is you just be yourself and write whatever the fuck you want. i write horror & weird shit; my audience is probably well aware of that by now, and im not really worried to post anything super weird because its sort of what’s expected of me.

i know horror and romantic cannibalism connotations and yanderes and unsubtle sexy threats is not everyone’s thing, and that’s ok! they don’t have to like what i put out, and i don’t worry about it, because people who like your shit will interact, and people who don’t will not. and people that don’t like ur shit and still interact are losers. hit the block button & move on.

someone is always bound to like your works.

i guess the ‘funny’ comes from the fact that i try to write dialogue how real people would speak. in fictional context, someone like kaedehara kazuha could wax poetry for three hours without stuttering in game, but realistically, nobody can probably do that without pauses, stammers, messing up words, etc. so i try to incorporate a sense of realism into everything, even if it’s a fanfiction in a world where a small boy in white tights is a god and everyone gets tiny little orbs that give them magical elemental powers.

i remember that even though these characters are fictional, i write them as though they could potentially be real people that do things real people do: fidget, stutter, blush, try and be funny and fail, they have problems large or small, etc. you have to mould your personality and writing style to make these characters alive on what you put out—childe seems like a great husband on paper, but is he all that good when he has unchecked mental health problems and has violent outbursts and desires? think about it.

another thing: don’t doubt your skill and prowess, especially in comparing yourself to posts with like 10000+ notes. most of them are note farming bullshit anyway—and a lot of the reader community is more likely to click on porn fics than normal fics. its why the popular posts on the x reader tags are usually porn. it’s half the reason why confiteor is infinitely more popular that old habits when im pretty sure scaramouche is a bigger character on the popularity charts.

strictly nsfw blogs that people make i can guarantee you are a lot more popular than their main blogs.

which brings me to: dont hop on trends. don’t do it. youll burn yourself out. just write what you want. fuck everyone. do whatever the fuck you want. if porn is popular but you’re extremely sex-repulsed or not comfortable, don’t write it. dont write to please people; it’s your blog and your time you’re putting into to do what YOU like, and you’re sharing your work for FREE on a public platform. a lot of people can’t do that. there’s people that follow my blog that openly admit they don’t like yandere/horror/whatever content. am i going to change what i post because of these people? no. not my problem. don’t care. i don’t exist to please everyone, and neither do you. stick to what you like.

don’t write for fandoms you don’t give a shit about just because they’re popular. even if what you like has a small, non-existent fan base, i promise you’ll enjoy writing for that more than something that you’re creating for clicks. notes are nice, but again, you don’t have to post everything you create. half the joy in writing is rediscovering old shit you don’t remember writing for a fandom you actually like. it’s like a reward.

[softshrimpy]

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Step 15: Revisit The Past

Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

I have no excuses for this one I am just a Sap who supports womens wrongs. 🦐✨

Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @eveymay @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond @gela123 @i-like-reading @hopelessly-sapphic @alder-saan @im-a-carnivorous-plant @weemssapphic @barbarasstar

(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)

Chapter 14

Cross Posted on AO3 Here

HWTAHP Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------

You were sat in a booth at the Weathervane. You didn’t want your father coming back to Nevermore. You’re almost certain he wouldn’t want to be there either. Larissa had insisted she stay with you, giving your father the side eye of a fucking lifetime. The two of you sat on one side while your father sat across from you, taking in the cafe curiously.

“Isn’t this the place you said you were working at? It’s quite nice.” He hums.

“I didn’t tell you where I was working. I didn’t even tell you I was in Jericho. So tell me, Dad, how did you find out I was here?” You asked, false pleasantry coating your words.

“Come on now kiddo,” he smiles awkwardly, his gaze flitting to Larissa and then back to you. “There’s no need to-“

“No there is. So I’ll ask you again, how did you find out I was here?” You interrupted, your already thin patience close to vanishing.

He doesn’t answer you, pursing his lips and he looks back and forth between you and Larissa uncomfortably. You sigh, moving to stand when he finally decides to speak.

“I spoke with your doctor,” he sighs, slight annoyance in his tone, “he said you hadn’t picked up your prescription in a month, said it had been delivered to Jericho the last time it had been ordered. So I come down here myself, to make sure you were alright… I’m worried about you.”

He reaches across the table to grab your hand but you quickly pull both your hands into your lap. Larissa reached out beneath the table to rest her hand on your thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. She was still glaring daggers at the man across from you both, despite her deep curiosity. She would have time to ask her questions later, when or if you were ready and you wanted to. For now, she would simply support you as best as she could, by making your father fucking uncomfortable.

“Well, I’m fine, thank you. So there’s no need for you to stay any longer.”

He then smiles at you in a way that makes you want to bash his face in. He reaches into his jacket and places an all-to-familiar pill bottle on the table between you, gently sliding it towards you. Larissa stares at the thing with so much contempt you’re sure she’s willing it to explode in his hand.

“I don’t need those anymore.” You say, pushing the bottle back toward him.

He frowns, his expression twisting in anger for a split second before he corrects himself.

“Well,” he starts, “as nice as that would be love, we both know how weak you get when you don’t-“

“That’s not a problem anymore. And quite frankly I don’t owe you any kind of explanation all things considered. So just leave me alone.”

“Kiddo…you don’t understand…” he tries, his false concern giving way to mild frustration. You knew it wasn’t just mild though, had first-hand experience of just how not-mild it could be.

“Don’t understand what? That I’m a danger without it? That this was never actually about me and my well-being but actually to protect you from something you didn’t understand?”

It would seem your anger wasn’t so mild either.

“That’s not-“

“Because I was a child who didn’t understand what was happening and instead of getting me actual help you decided to just cover it up? Because it was easier to just get me these stupid little pills and pretend nothing ever happened?” You continue, doing your best to keep your voice down despite the venom in it.

“That is simply-“

“Because you would rather I keep taking these, frankly fucking awful tasting pills instead of receiving support and- and care. And be around people who are like me? Is that what I don’t understand?”

“That’s enough!” he yells, and you hate yourself for the way you flinch.

Larissa immediately takes your hand in hers, moving to stand up and get you away from him when he continues.

“You don’t even have half the right idea, you ungrateful wretch. Your mother and I, we took you into our home, you had nothing, you were nothing. Without us, you would be nothing. We took you in, fed you, clothed you, raised you. Your mother loved you like you were our own. But then…then we came home one day to find our precious child had murdered her sweet babysitter. So what were we to do? You needed to be fixed-“

“Fixed?” You choke out, angry at the tears gathering in your eyes and the way your whole body shakes.

“You think it was easy? Finding a doctor who could create these fucking things?” He continues, shaking the pill bottle. “But we had no fucking choice. We couldn’t just let you carry on as you were! We couldn’t become known as the parents who raised a godforsaken killer! We did what we had to to make sure you would grow up to be normal. So you become one of those- of those monsters!”

For a second it feels like the whole world just stops. Like the universe is giving you a little time to process the truth; that this man never truly loved you, that your father never loved you. You can’t know if that was how your mother felt, rest her soul, but you can’t help but think she probably felt the same. That you were a burden on them. Never the child they wanted but the one they were stuck with. You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream. You wanted to hit him.

Before you can even think of doing anything of the sort your father is suddenly sprawled across the floor, clutching his very broken and very bloody nose. You then notice a very angry and intimidating Larissa towering over his pathetic form, glaring down at him so intensely you think he might actually catch fire. She’s shaking her now rather bloody hand out as she slightly winces.

And then, as if that wasn’t metal enough, she lifts her hand(the bloody one) to tuck her hair back behind her ear, pushing her immaculate updo back into perfection. She had an eerily calm expression as she did before smiling oh so condescendingly down at your father, who was still clutching his nose as he stared up at her in horror.

“Now then, sir,” she sneers, “I’d suggest you leave town swiftly. Lest you wish to suffer any more harm.”

It’s then that your father's terrified gaze snaps to you, perhaps foolishly hoping you’d help him. But you aren’t even looking his way, transfixed by the statuesque blond you’ve grown so fond of. He must realize then that the two of you aren’t simply friends, the way disgust twists his features for a moment. He seems to want to say something, opening his foul mouth to speak before looking back at Larissa and freezing in his tracks.

It’s then that he realizes just who she is. The woman the people he had accosted for information about you had spoken about. The impossibly tall, insanely intimidating Principal of Nevermore Academy, a force to be reckoned with. The academy for outcasts. Only then does he think that picking a fight with her may not be in his best interest, not when the odds are she could very easily overpower him.

So instead of further condemning you and your actions he keeps his mouth shut (the first smart decision he’s made all day) and all but scrambles out the door before hopping in his car and speeding away. And then he’s gone.

“Holy shit that was fucking awesome,” James breathes, breaking the silence.

That snaps Larissa from her intense glaring at the door. She turns to you, looking you over to make sure you’re alright. You gingerly grasp her hand, the bloody one, turning it over in your to inspect the damage. You frown when you notice how red her knuckles are. You lift it to your mouth to press a soft kiss to them before looking up at her.

“Shall we go home?” She asks softly, reaching out with her other hand to grab yours.

You nod, still staring at her in awe. She says something to James, earning a snarky response no doubt. But you’re not really listening. You’re stuck very deep in your thoughts about Larissa and her bravery and badassness and how much you love her. And how you don’t particularly care what has happened in the past, you want her to know, you need her to know.

You make it back to Nevermore in a blur, you’re quite honestly just going through the motions. Your mind is running a mile a minute. You keep jumping from one thought to another. You honestly keep wanting to cry and then laugh and then cry again.

When you finally arrive at Nevermore you quietly follow Larissa to what turns out to be your quarters. Larissa stands in the doorway, looking rather conflicted. You all but drag her inside, leading her to sit on the bed. You quickly grab your first aid kit and waddle back into the room. You kneel in front of her, getting out some gauze and bandages. She starts to protest, claiming she can sort it out herself but you just shush her gently and continue cleaning up and bandaging her hand. You press a kiss to it when you’re done, staring up at her lovingly.

“Larissa I-“ you start.

“Darling I-I wanted to apologize. I-I don’t know what came over me. I-I realize I was- I was out of line. I-if-“ she rushes.

Before she can continue on with her unnecessary apology you all but throw yourself onto her lap and kiss her senseless. She lets out a cute little noise of surprise before melting into the kiss, wrapping her arms around your waist and clinging to you with all she has.

The kiss is soft and sweet and so full of love it makes your heart swell. You pour all the love you have in your heart for her into it, hoping she can feel it. You lick at the seam of her lips, moaning into her mouth when she parts them for you. You lick into her mouth, blushing at the moan she lets out and the way she grips your hips tighter.

Eventually, when you remember you need to breathe, you pull back. Your hands cup her cheeks, your thumb brushing over her cheekbones as you just stare at her wearing the dopiest grin. She’s staring up at you, wide-eyed and a little breathless. She looks a bit confused, and you realize while she may be one of the smartest women you know she can still be so utterly dense. So you will spell it out for her.

“Larissa…I-no one’s ever done anything like this for me before…like ever. And I’m not-I could never be mad at you, especially not for standing up for me like you did. I mean, I wanted to hit him so if you hadn’t I probably would’ve.” You snort, “and uhm when I saw you like…absolutely deck him. I honestly…honestly you looked very hot. Not that violence is right! But like…maybe it’s alright if you commit a lil violence-“

She lets out the most beautiful laugh at that, unrestrained and loud and imperfectly perfect. And your heart feels like it’s going to explode. You want to kiss her again, but you need to finish your thought.

“I-I know we still have a lot to figure out. And things aren’t-arent perfect. And I didn’t want to rush into things but I’m starting to realize that that’s just like bullshit and doesn’t actually even matter. Because-because what does matter, what matters to me…is you. And- and the truth. And the truth is Larissa, the truth-“

“Take a breath sweetheart, it’s okay.” She murmurs, a look of confusion still marring her features. So you take a breath, closing your eyes for a bit before you continue.

“The truth is that I think I-I love you…” you breathe, your voice wobbling with emotion. “No that’s-that’s not right. I know I’m in love with you. And-and I hope I’m not-I hope it’s not -that you don’t think I’m silly or-“

Your rambling is cut off when she launches forward to kiss you. This time she’s nowhere near as gentle. She tugs on your bottom lip with her teeth, her tongue rushing into your mouth when you gasp. The kiss is hungry and passionate and takes your breath away.

She kisses your jaw, and then your neck, nipping at it before she presses her forehead to your collarbone. You feel her tears drip into your shirt, soaking the fabric. She’s still clutching you so tightly against her, almost as if she fears you’ll disappear.

“Oh darling…” she breathes against your skin, “I-I had never dared to hope…”

She takes a deep, shuddering breath before leaning back to gaze up at you. Her eyes sparkling and her cheeks blushing deliciously.

“I love you too… I have loved you for the longest time.”

Her words are a balm to your fragile little heart, making you feel impossibly bright and good and whole. You giggle, covering your mouth with your hand in an attempt to stifle it. Larissa gently pulls your hand away, pressing a kiss to your palm that makes you melt even further, if that’s even possible. And Larissa looks happier than you’ve ever seen her, her smile so bright and happy. You connect your lips again, gently pushing her to lay back against your bed. And as you kiss her only one thought runs through your mind.

Gods, you love her more than anything.

[objectsarebestest]

So, there was a post posted in the objectum tags not too long ago. I’m 99% sure this person doesn’t actually believe this stuff and is just trolling to get a reaction. Or maybe I hope that. I have since deleted my reblog as to not draw attention to them, and they are blocked from my blog. But I still wanted to address the post, given that I know that some people actually do think like this. Here is the post, with identifying information cropped out.

I’m going to copy and paste my initial response because I think I made some good points. It should probably be reworded to be less targeted at this specific individual, but I don’t have the energy to do so.

Okay. This is just so blatantly wrong on so many levels that I can’t not address it as one of the larger objectum blogs on here.

First off, this.

“every time i try to interact with other objectums i get angry when its not the same thing i experience or when its blatantly retarded.”

You should not be using the r slur like that. Yes, I know you have autism and ADHD. It still doesn’t mean that you can use it in this context. Disregarding the whole discourse about whether autistic people and those with ADHD can even reclaim the r slur (I don’t care enough to get into it), reclaiming involves using a word in a positive context to take power away from those who use it to deride others. It absolutely does not involve slinging slurs at other people as an attack. To do that in a community of majority neurodivergent people is quite frankly really disgusting.

Next, let’s get into this.

“like some schizo saying “omg my plushie told me it loved me and it talks to my other plushies about me”, no tf it did not.”

For one, “schizo” is also a slur that only psychotic people can reclaim, which based on your intro I don’t think you are. If you mean “schizophrenic” type out the whole word. Schizophrenic. It’s not that hard. Secondly, you don’t get to tell people what their reality is. Reality checking someone in this way can be very dangerous if they are already in an unstable mental state. At worst, you could make someone break down. At worst, someone will just say “lol” and scroll past your post, because the way delusions work is that they are unchanging beliefs.

Okay, last bit.

”i can’t believe im saying this unironically but most of you are POSERS. “hehe computer so cute! he’s so Edgar so cutie! I wanna fuck my computer!” you don’t even get it on the celestial level that i do. you find it attractive, sure, but you like the idea of that attractiveness, you dont really experience a genuine attraction or connection with computers.”

This is absurd. Yes, I will admit becoming frustrated at times with the objectum community’s obsession with Edgar (I have never seen Electric Dreams). But using that fact to straight up call people posers? This is basically the truscum thing of “X people are faking and aren’t really X label. I can clearly tell what is going on inside their heads and I can tell they’re lying. I know because I’m a real X.” Like, you do realize this, right?? You’re not a mind reader. You have no way to tell if these people experience “genuine attraction” to computers. So logically the right thing to do is to believe people when they say they do.

I can 100% see why you’re struggling to relate to the objectum community if this is how you think. It’s genuinely disgusting.

I’m well aware that this person was likely trolling. But I also know that there are some people who actually think like this. Who do degrade neurodivergent people they don’t like and think it’s okay because “they’re ND too”. Who think psychotic people and those with DCS are a “lesser” part of the objectum community. Who gatekeep obsessively because only their experiences can possibly be real. So I wanted to show that this behavior will be called out in objectum spaces whenever it rears its ugly head.

[infloresco]

RULES.

Hi, Janice here and I am finally writing some rules. It is a short thing, just putting things that I think that are very important. If I think of more, I will definitely add it here. I am a pretty nice and chill person. I love screaming about our muses and their interactions. I am an absolute angst lover.

General rules & quality of life.

This blog is semi-selective & independent. Activity varies from to to week basis since I don’t have a set work schedule. Most of the IC interaction will most like be with mutuals since it is better for me tracking wise.

AU and OC’s are always welcomed and encouraged, especially if we have discussed it previously. (I have yet to write down all the different verses Robin is part off, so If you ever have any questions about them, please don’t be afraid to ask.)

NSFW content is present in this blog. I will always try to tag everything accordingly but as a general rule interaction as will be discussed before hand. Because of that it is advice to be 18+ and over. Any interaction with a minor will lack any sensitive material. Anyone lying about their age in search of NFSW interaction will be blocked! On the tagging topic, for the most part I don’t have any triggers, but if you aren’t so sure about something and you wish to discuss it before hand you can always contact me. (the best way to do it is on discord. Tumblr IMS are glitchy for me tbh)

Very important, my inbox, asks are always welcome, IC (obviously if we are mutuals I will reply to it eventually) and OOC (especially if you wanna know more about my take on Robin). My anon are one but as a general rule: don’t abuse it. I’ve received a few ill intended messages. If they were to continue, I will definitely turn off anon.

For the most part this blog is multi-ship. I love discovering dynamics and if our muses click, expect me sending you cute lil things and musing about them. But if that’s something you aren’t too keen on, please let me know. The last thing I would like is to be a bother to you.

If I reply to an ask and you like to reply to it, please do. If you like it but you just want to reblog it, you are more than welcome to do so. I really don’t mind. And on that note, I’m not really on the reblog karma thing, If you want to reblog a meme from me, please do it. If you did it by accident? Please know I will not be made about it.

As established before, activity will vary weekly because of work but I will like to say that it will also be dependent on how I am feeling my muse. Hyper-fixation of certain topics prompt me to reply immediately, while sometimes I might not feel motivated to write. I try as much as I can to reply to all my drafts and inbox. Rarely do I clear my inbox so if you sent me something, I will most likely respond to it, eventually.

My mental health is slowly getting into a good place but sometimes the decline comes and my activity might become less. Even if I am not writing, I always love to discuss and plot, actually gives me motivation and serotonin to come back. But it is important that you know that I do this for fun, if you start pressuring me for replies I am going to call you out on it.

ABOUT SHIPPING:

I love to write various different ships. I love the discovery of something new. That said, please don’t force any ships for my muse. Chemistry is very important in any type of relationship. Be the romantic type or even a friendship. I love it when our muses vibe.

Robin is written as demi-sexual. Connection is truly important and the first step to have any sort of relationship.

I am open to a list of dynamics, from slight toxic and age gaps (muses need to be of age of course) Enemies to lovers… anything that gives me drama and angst. When I think of more I’ll write it down.

NFSW memes are open to people I ship with.

I have a bias for these ships: LawBin and Frobin but that doesn’t mean I won’t write anything else. Frankly I’ve been wanting to write Robin x Crocodile.

I am probably missing some things, but I couldn't figure it out. I think I've said like a million times already, but I will add anything that comes to mind.

[weirdmageddon]

the tone in these tags is driving me insane. i don’t know if you miscommunicated your intent here, but regardless of the intent what you said really hurt me!

i already give myself too much social self-doubt and guilt. i do NOT need to hear it from others. these tags are insensitive, unnecessary, and unsolicited.

why are you getting the impression that i think of myself as “superior”? when i say “above” i clearly mean the depths to which i’ve learned it and the firsthand experience. “superior” or “arrogant” are frankly the LAST thing i feel myself as, not to mention want to be seen as!!! i can’t help feeling compelled by and passionate by what i’m interested in, and what i like i collect a LOT of information about and i become very knowledgeable in it. i WANT communion with other people. i want to share in the joy. i just cant feel safe doing that and sharing my knowledge BECAUSE people like YOU think my attitude is “superior”. it’s fucking not! these things are my natural interests that i am just drawn to!! i’m interested in things people would probably consider esoteric or unapproachable like jung and socionics to figure things out about myself, to understand why i am drawn to certain things, and share what i have realized. but because theyre kind of niche it’s very hard to find people to talk about and i feel like im seeing everything from a very global perspective where i can change the view of that perspective to find new nuggets of insight into the world and human nature through my impressions. but i don’t want to be condescended or talked down to like this when i simply communicate what is going on with me.

of course what i’m feeling is hurting me. do you think i’m not aware of that? you think i’m stupid? that’s WHY i’m communicating it, because it’s the only solution that makes sense. my solution isn’t “going into another room”, what the hell! again, last thing i need!

that came off to me as an underhanded insult to suppress me for expressing my own passions. my solution/goal is to feel safe enough around others to fill the room with my OWN feelings and my OWN knowledge and people who are interested and understand my perspective will stay. i just don’t want to cause inconvenience to others, i want to respect them. but what you said came off to me as extremely disrespectful and as if you want me to erase my presence, like i’ve already been fucking doing myself, when what i’m trying to do is trying to assert my own presence. i don’t owe you an ounce of it now, and even if you backtrack your statements now i’m still going to be suspicious because those tags came off to me as being actually sanctimonious. like one of those people who looks at you pitifully and tells you to go to therapy or something. and since i now know you are capable of being like this, i don’t feel comfortable with you.

the reason i posted that was just updating people about where my head space has been. why i haven’t felt comfortable opening up. this is because i want to be sure i can feel safe being myself and expressing my reality, which comes to me through nonjudgmental observation and thoughtful reflection, around other people.

i expressed a similar idea to my friend about overcoming my social fears of creating a space for myself and my thoughts about a week ago (i feel safe to share these things with her.)

ME: and i was trying to relate my issue with that to the patterns in my social life. and i think it is afraid of being seen.

ME: because i check every one of these boxes.

HER: Remember when you were talking about how you felt like a naked animal hiding

ME: yeah

ME: and the fear of being seen applies even to my interests

ME: not because of the interests themselves but the fear of the perversion of people’s relationships towards that thing by association

ME: i want to limit peoples exposure to my interests if i dont know them because i want to protect them, and protect the field around myself and my interest. it’s why i dont share my favorite bands with everyone because i worry what will happen to them with tiktok being a threat and ruining it for me — being associated against my will with whatever they consider cringe when i am just doing my own thing

ME: i am afraid of the way people feel about me and perceive me as a result of my own interests against my will

ME: which is why i seem to unconsciously seek out things more untouched and more obscure that call me or resonate with me.. it gives me more of a sense of existing in peace and harmony in my relationship to the interest and, at bottom, my own existence. places where i feel welcome and i don’t have to fight for my life

ME: i find that the more obscure or hidden, the more welcoming or “clean” i find a space. like the air is fresh to breathe around it. i want to exist with it and live in communion with it, the places where i can fully be myself and express my thoughts and feelings. it is more harmonious because there’s less, like... it’s more of an understanding through action, less through words kinda feeling, you know what i mean.

ME: but doing that also makes me more original and unconventional, by chance

ME: and less people around me who can relate to and harmonize with me

HER: Control of outside perception. I get it. I was super super neurotic about this

ME: YES 😭

ME: and at the same time

ME: i dont like the idea of being gatekeepy because i do want to rejoice and share but it has to be with people i trust with it to understand it on my emotional level without twisting and bastardizing it

ME: and thats why i think these lyrics by panda bear (ESE) resonate with me so hard. they make me feel so heard in a very nuanced way that i dont think is captured in many cases

ME: except it’s like, i’m the one thats doing all of what hes proposing already, quietly, instinctively

ME: without even needing to think about it

and that is why jungian analysis and the unconscious shadow and my deep knowledge of socionics provides an endless loop of fascination for me i want to share it but im unsure how it will be taken. this insight was discovered with the help of these things, reinforcing their helpfulness for me. knowing people like you are out there is what’s getting in my way. thanks for making it that much harder.

like seriously you could all do it too if you chose to slow down, look inwards and discover how things affect you. everybody can! this is something that should be accessible to everyone, not just me. i just think about things extremelty deeply. i think people, and society, would actually be a lot more well off if people learned to be more self-aware and reflective. i want to share my life, not keep it inside myself. that’s what creates the isolation. but of course when i open up about it in a vulnerable way to test the waters i get shit like this.

don’t you see how the more i share my mind and my reflections, my own reality that i’m vulnerable opening up about because of things that are beyond my control, the more you know about me that you didn’t know before? does this show you a different picture? did you realize you erroneously misjudged my intentions? i just posted this post right before this one that people need to stop being so fucking judgmental. god those tags tipped me over the edge because they are the encapsulation of every wrong superficial perception from the outside about who i actually am that makes me hesitant to share myself. it pissed me the fuck off.

i’m not going anywhere! just like everyone else i deserve a place in the world where me and my insight i want to communicate from what i’ve learned can feel wanted.

another jung quote since he is a banger factory:

“No matter how isolated you are and how lonely you feel, if you do the work consciously and conscientiously, unknown friends will come and seek you.”

^ this is what i know is going to help me. it’s just a matter of doing it without social rejection.

To orient a bit more by what this person means by "you already know that part". It's what you know you need to do. You know it in your gut. It changes over time. But you usually have a sense of some element of personal "work" that you need to do, that you might want to avoid. Sometimes it involves something simple like having that conversation. Sometimes it involves something bigger like quitting drinking. That's why Jungians instruct you to look within, not outside yourself for your answers. You know what you need to do. Looking outside ourselves is often us looking for a "way out" of doing "the work".

i didnt have any evidence as to what has been cumulatively bothering me (because i was avoiding expressing anything that could allow me to receive rejection in the first place) because a lot of it was past traumatic social experiences but this just. catapulted me to spill it. so i guess i could also thank you being so inflammatory towards my emotional state and saying all the wrong things to me?

i understand how your advice might work for someone else but this isn’t what i need because it does not apply to me, and it felt very insulting considering it’s what i have been struggling with already. posting this was testing the waters and making contact about what i’ve been doing recently and why i have been feeling more distant which i want to fix.

i’m glad i asserted myself here actually. i feel like i just gained a level in … i don’t know. something. i just don’t like being an unpleasant person or needing to get worked up to constantly feel like i have to defend myself. it’s exhausting. i just want to feel welcome, appreciated, and zen.

i have been doing a lot of self-reflection. not because i did anything wrong but i want to find things that are true. but the more i don’t post because i get so long the more isolated i get because my knowledge is above the level of the people around me who havent done that kind of work and it feels hard to share my feelings in a fulfilling way

“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” — Carl Jung

ive been been getting a lot more into jung. most of his work sincerely resonates with my own observations. he shares a type with me. this quote is all too pertinent

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[forever-rogue]

I absolutely love your writing, especially your recent Bucky x reader ones! they’re so good and make me so happy :,)

could you maybe do a second part to the recent one you wrote about Bucky realizing he wants a family? Maybe him voicing his wanting of a baby to the reader?

A/N: mhmm, mhmm, enjoy a lil spice and a nervous, fumbling Bucky! No spoilers!

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: slight language, very suggestive themes😏

PART 1 HERE

BUCKY MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Buck?" you called to him as you moved about the kitchen, pulling out another tray of fresh cookies from the oven. He was in the adjacent living room, watching the baseball game, although you weren't sure how much he was actually watching. He hadn't made a single comment or sound as he normally would. He'd been awfully quiet most of the afternoon.

You stole a glance into the living room and found him staring at the television with a concentrated expression on his face. You chuckled softly as you shook your head, "James? Honey?"

“Mhmm?” something about the sweet moniker caused him to snap back into reality as he looked over at you and offered a gentle smile, “do you need a hand?”

“Unless you want to taste-test then no,” you laughed as he immediately stood up and waltzed into the kitchen, “I had a feeling that would get your attention. I made your favorites, Bucky.”

“Have I ever told you how wonderful you are?” he reached for one of the freshly baked cookies with his vibranium hand, but you were faster and slapped him out of the way. His mouth opened and closed as he pouted in surprise, “no fair!”

“They’re fresh out of the oven!”

“It’s the vibranium hand!” 

“Your mouth isn’t made of vibranium! Try one of the ones that’s been cooled!” you raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms over your chest as he huffed in defeat and grabbed a cookie off the other tray, “besides, my love, you haven’t told me what’s been on your mind all day…”

“What do you mean? Nothing’s been on my mind-” he grumbled through a mouth full of cookie.

‘Don’t you dare lie to me, James Buchanan Barnes,” you raised an eyebrow as he feigned innocence for a moment longer, “I know better than you think apparently. I could practically hear the gears turning in your head! Besides, you’re watching the game and you’ve been silent the entire. It’s a dead giveaway.”

“You’re smarter than I give you credit for, you know that?” he joked as you rolled your eyes dramatically before both of you broke into a fit of giggles.

“You’re lucky I love you so much,” you walked over to him, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He sighed lightly at your gentle touch before snaking his arms around your waist as he pulled you into his body and kissed you deeply. You leaned into his touch as you practically felt your body belt into a puddle of mush, “now out with it, Bucky. What’s on your mind?”

“I want a baby.”

The declaration was loud and clear as you immediately pulled back from his touch and gave him a curious expression. A warm, red flush crept into his cheeks as his blue eyes widened in surprise. He quickly opened and closed his mouth a few times as you enjoyed watching him struggle. 

“Okay.”

“W-what?” he asked as you laughed at him lightly, putting a hand on his chest before you stole a few more kisses from him, “sweetheart...I…”

“I know what you meant, Bucky,” you answered softly, “well, literally and metaphorically. I had a feeling this had been on your mind lately...frankly, if I’m being quite honest, it’s been on my mind too.”

“Really?” he asked incredulously as you nodded slowly, “ever since...we went to your sister’s and saw Aurora. I just can’t help but think that maybe one day...we could have that too. A family of our own. A baby or two…”

"Hmm," you mused softly as he shifted on his feet and gave you a nervous look, “you’ve quickly gone from one to two…”

“I was just-”

“I know, James,” placing a hand on his cheek, you swiped your thumb gently over his soft skin, “I’m just giving you a hard time. How about we just get through one to start with and see how it goes?”

“You want this too?” his voice shook as you wiggled your eyebrows at him, “I don’t want you to feel like we have to do this…”

“I want this too, James,” you whispered, inadvertently biting your bottom lip in a way that drove him crazy, “of course I want a family with you, my love. I’m not going to lie - seeing you with the baby and Sam’s nephews kind of drives me insane.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” you leaned in closely,  almost whispering in his ear, “because I want you to put a baby in me. I want to see you holding and playing with our babies. I kept thinking about how good I’d look all round and cute and pregnant with your baby. I can let everyone I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“Oh.”

“What do you say, Bucky?’ you nipped at the delicate skin of his neck and jaw before trailing kisses up to his lips, “I want you to get me pregnant. I want to start our family.”

“I want to marry you,” his hands, one warm and gentle and one firm and cool, found purchase on your waist as he pulled you close and kissed with a fervent hunger, “fuck - want to make you my wife.”

“Mrs. Barnes has a nice ring to it,” you agreed, fighting back a gasp as he worked on giving you some hickies of your own, “marry me then, Bucky. I want to be your wife.”

“Gonna marry you and start our family,” his voice was low and thick as you carded a hand through his dark hair. 

“Why wait on the family?” you asked, causing him to look at you with inquisitive eyes, “let’s start today. We can try and try and try until it happens. Practice makes perfect, right?”

“You don’t want to get married first?”

“It’s not the 1940s Buck, we can do whatever we want,” you reminded him, grabbing his jaw gently as you slowly ground against him and gave him a few lingering kisses, “I know we’ll be together forever, fancy piece of paper or not. Now what do you say? Put a baby in me already.”

“Fuck yes.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Marvel Taglist (add yourself to a taglist here!)(strike-through means I couldn’t tag you)

@qhbr2013  @greeneyedblondie44  @april-showers-and-flowers  @softboiipascal @im-an-adult-ish  @patzammit  @niki-xie  @xxlovingfandomsxx  @startrekkingaroundasgard  @welcometothepedroverse  @actual-spawn-of-satan  @punkerthanpascal  @lazybeeches @someday-when-you-leave-me @justgivemethekeys @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday  @neptunesglow  @artsymaddie @haildoodles @amneris21 @star017 @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater @its–fandom–darling @ayamenimthiriel @alyispunk @djarinbarnes @edencherries @ashamed23 @sunsetskywalkerr  @nikkixostan @spookispunk @cable-kenobi @hrtsgetbrkn @ironicfoxes @iilwjbb @cc13723things @thenormreedus @gooddaykate

[wonwoonlight]

📣: prince!Jeonghan // little angst // fluff // modern royalty!AU // 1750 words

[ft. Brother!Seungcheol]

A/N: ok so im...actually not familiar w royalty au so this is probably not what you expected anon im sorry😭😭 thank you for the request and i hope you’re able to enjoy this anyway😭 this is a little long bc of the background explanations lool

You don’t know how your brother managed to befriend Prince Jeonghan from the Royal Family, but he did. You don’t think much of it, but Seungcheol would sometimes come home with foods that are definitely overpriced but taste like heaven after hanging out with the prince.

Plus, he’d send your family overpriced hampers when it’s big holidays like Christmas and such. You’ve been peeved about it at first, not getting why he’d do this. But one meeting with him and you immediately get why.

Being a prince, it’s hard for Jeonghan to find people who actually want to befriend him for Yoon Jeonghan. He has gone through a lot of ‘friends’ who were just into his prince title, slowly leaving when they realize Jeonghan’s not going to abuse his wealth and his title for them.

Seungcheol is different, though. He’s found Jeonghan pitifully sitting by himself on a bench nearby the empty basketball court he usually practices at. Your brother doesn’t even know who it was because Jeonghan’s wearing a mask and a hat. But he’s bored and there’s no loss in asking a stranger to play with him.

Jeonghan was wary at first, but quickly realized the guy in front of him didn’t even realize who’s he talking to and he was just looking for someone to play basketball with. After a couple of basketball meetings and small talks in between to make sure Seungcheol wasn’t pretending, Jeonghan’s quick to warm up to the first close friend he’s made in years.

Now you’re not sure why Jeonghan’s cold towards you, but you decide to treat him the way he treats you, with stiff smiles and forced hospitality. It’s much different with how he treats your brother, you notice. But it doesn’t matter to you—at least that’s what you’ve been saying to yourself.

You don’t think Jeonghan’s a fake asshole; because even though he always brushes you away, making you feel inferior without meaning to, you’ve seen the way he’s warm with Seungcheol, seen the way he happily greets the kids at the orphanage when he tags along with you and Seungcheol on your regular visit there, seen the way he shyly smiles when your mother compliments his neat writing and poised posture.

Everything about Jeonghan is sweet until it comes to you. You try to pretend like it doesn’t hurt you, but it does—because how can it not hurt to see someone so sweet to everyone but you? At first, you thought you’ve just caught him on a bad day, but it becomes clear to you that Jeonghan just, for whatever reason, doesn’t like you and you’re trying to respect that even though it stings.

For that same reason, you don’t understand why would he invite you to his private birthday dinner in the royal house. Your best guess is he can’t exactly say “Hey, your family is welcome to come but please don’t bring your sister”, which is why you end up here, becoming a wallflower, because your parents said “We don’t want to make you youngsters feel awkward with us. Tell Jeonghan to come here some time and I’ll make dinner”.

At first, you’ve refused. But Seungcheol says he feels bad for the ‘family invitation’ if he comes by himself plus, when else would you be able to visit the royal house like this?

You eventually agree because Seungcheol promises to do your portion of chores for the rest of the month.

When you arrive with Seungcheol, the guard is quick to escort you both to the garden behind the house where the dinner is taking place. There aren’t that many people and, frankly, you feel like you’re the only outsider in the area.

You’re holding into a glass of water as you lean on one of the pillars nearby, your eyes automatically follow Jeonghan, his hair neatly styled and a black suit hugs his body perfectly. He’s talking to someone you don’t know, girlfriend maybe? A betrothed? Or maybe a cousin. You genuinely have no idea; but what you do know is there’s something bitter in your mouth at the way he’s smiling at her, his eyes turn into beautiful crescents at something she says.

Would there ever be a day when Jeonghan looks at you the same way? You scoff a little at the wishful thought, which quickly dies down when Jeonghan suddenly looks up and somehow meets your eyes.

You hope the way you suddenly turn your head away and pretend to take a nonexistent call from your phone is natural enough. You walk away; walk, walk, and walk, and somehow you find yourself too deep in the garden.

There’s a fountain in the middle and a few benches around. You sit down there and bask in the quietness as you take off the high-heels your mom has forced you to wear. Your feet hurt and you probably need help to find your way out, but at least it’s beautiful where you’re at.

You bring up your legs to the bench, hugging your knees and resting your forehead there to rest for a while. Thank God you choose to wear a comfortable dress that allows you this position. You barely even do anything and yet it’s still tiring you out.

“You okay?” Jeonghan’s voice startles you, making you jump a little as you turn to him. How did you not hear his steps?

“Yeah,” you smile tightly, letting down your legs again as you try to put the damned heels back on.

To your surprise, Jeonghan steps closer and kneels in front of you. “You’re not used to these heels, are you?”

You don’t say anything, too flustered at the way his fingers gently brush your ankles as he helps you put them on. “My sister always says there are hell to wear and I’ve never seen you wear one before tonight.”

You’re pretty sure even Jeonghan himself can hear the way your heartbeat is drumming loudly against your chest. What has gotten into him? How does he even notice what kind of shoes you wear? Jeonghan never looks your way, much less pay attention to what you’re wearing.

“Seungcheol is looking for you, should we go back?” he says again, and there’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite describe. But the mention of your brother brings you back to reality and you quickly nod.

You couldn’t really believe your eyes when Jeonghan gives you his hand, but you take it out of reflex and are even more surprised when he doesn’t let go and simply pulls you with him as he leads the way.

“Did you say something?” you hesitantly ask. You’re pretty sure Jeonghan’s said something earlier, but you’re not certain if you miss it because you’re too busy staring at your joined hands, or because you’re not used to Jeonghan talking to you.

“I said,” he exhales a little, the hand that’s holding yours tightens a little. “You’re really beautiful tonight.”

You stop in your track at that—did you hear wrong? “Excuse me?”

Jeonghan’s about to repeat again when you shake your head, telling him to stop. “No—um, uh, thank you? You look very good too.”

There’s another tight smile in his face, but you’re going to take that as his way of saying thank you.

Suddenly, the weight of his hand in yours feels heavier because of the silence. But when you slowly try to let go, it is Jeonghan who holds on.

“I… have something to say,” he suddenly announces.

It’s not going to be a confession, you tell yourself. Because how could it be when today is the most he has ever spoken to you than the last few months you’ve known him combined? And yet, the way his hand is holding on to yours, the way he’s nervously biting his lip, and the garden in the background makes this look like a scene straight out of a movie. In short, you hate the way your heart beats in excitement.

“I’m sorry,” he takes a deep breath before meeting your eyes with determination. “I’m sorry I’ve been rude to you since the first time we met.”

“No, it’s—”

“No, please,” his soft voice speaks again and he shakes his head in something that is close to shame. “It’s not okay. I just… I know I come off as rude because I basically talk to everyone but you but… I just don’t know how to talk to you.”

…What?

“Please don’t cut me off?” he says first when he sees you opening your mouth. “You just always seem quiet and collected, and I feel like I’m not going to be able to talk to you properly even if I want to. Everytime I want to try talking to you I just end up turning the other way around because I’m too nervous and I’m a mess and—”

“Jeonghan, you’re literally the prince,” you exclaim in disbelief.

“What did I say about cutting me off?” he pouts a little, though glad you don’t seem bothered by his words. “It’s just... I finally found the courage to talk to you now and I don’t want to mess this up again and make you dislike me even more.”

“Jeonghan, I thought it’s you who dislikes me.”

“Huh?”

“How would you feel if I tend to everyone around you in front of your eyes but I skip you every single time?”

The prince bites his lips as he realizes he doesn’t just come off as rude; all those lessons of being poised and eloquent has led him to this. Mrs. Jung never stop nagging him if she finds out.

“Can we… Can we start again?” he proposes, looking into your eyes with what he hopes to be earnest and hopeful.

You’re silent for a moment before you hold out your hand, telling your name as you smile at him.

“I’m Yoon Jeonghan, nice to meet you?”

“Yoon Jeonghan?” you pretend to think, tapping your chin in curiosity. “Not Yoon Jeonghan the Prince, right?”

Jeonghan laughs a little, finding you nothing but adorable. “No. We just share the same name.”

“Good, good,” you say with a nod, making Jeonghan confused at the playful grin on your face. “Heard from a friend he’s rude or whatever.”

“Hey!” he exclaims, pretending to be offended. As the sound of your laughter fills his ears, Jeonghan has never been more glad he’s finally found the courage to talk to you.

find the rest of requested drabble here 

[byuntrash101]

Cry me a Fucking River

Pairing: Baekhyun x You

Genre: angst 💀(i tried), smut 🖤

Tags: plot, back story, psychological and physical violence, Ex!AU, AbusiveRelationship!AU, “make up” sex, crying, alcohol, breeding kink (i guess?), VERY angsty, bitter sweet ending. Don't read if you are triggered by these topics

Raiting: 18+

Word count: 2.6k

Summary: Even if it’s a lie you love the way he looks at you when he says “I love you”.

A/N: It’s sooo difficult for me to write angst. I really tried hard 🥲... But IM really inspired me with the song. Even the tittle comes from IM's neck tattoo in the MV... I’ve been working on this one shot ever since it came out (aka a long time ago) please tell me if i did justice to this beautiful song ^^

General Masterlist

Inspired by IM Changkyun’s “God damn”

𝓖𝓸𝓭 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓷 𝓲𝓽, 𝓘 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓲𝓽

𝓚𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝓶𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 '𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓘'𝓶 𝓷𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓭, 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓱

𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓷' 𝔂𝓸𝓾

𝓖𝓲𝓶𝓶𝓮 𝓪 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰

𝓖𝓸𝓭 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓷 𝓲𝓽, 𝓘 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓲𝓽

𝓘'𝓶 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓘'𝓶 𝓭𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰

𝓖𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

𝓘 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾,

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓘'𝓶 𝓭𝓻𝓾𝓷𝓴

                                                 Received 4m ago

                                               Baekhyun: I miss u...

                                                                    ✓ Read

𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯...

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶...

𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘯

You sigh staring at the ceiling of your room. Your roommates are down stairs playing an alcohol game but you sit here alone. You don’t feel like having fun tonight… You don’t feel like anything at all actually.

You lift your phone up and stare at the name on the screen. Baekhyun… Baekhyun is your ex boyfriend. You have been separated for a year now. After 3 years of the most toxic and damaging relationship you ever had you finally broke up. 

You told everybody he was bad for you.

You told your friends how possessive he was, how would go through your phone, or force you to use the speakerphone every time you have a call. Or how controlling he was when he didn’t want you to wear make up or even earrings…

And you’re not lying, all of it was true, down to the littlest detail and that’s what you told yourself too. But the truth was that you were hiding half of the story. Because no matter how much you tried to persuade yourself… you were just as bad to him.

You kept quiet on the silent treatments, spending days even weeks ignoring him, just for the sake of hurting him.

You kept quiet on the numerous ways you were always blaming him for all the problems you ever had. You never took the time to listen to him, you just always assumed it was his fault for everything. If you guys fought so much it was his fault, if he was sad, it was his fault. No matter how many hurtful words you spat his way it was his fault for being weak and not being able to bear the truth.

You kept silent on the way you always tried to make him jealous by letting other guys go after you or by simply letting people believe that you were available.

Always manipulating him in feeling sorry for himself, the exact same way he did it to you.

Like a game

Turn by turn

You were making your lives a living hell

Just like a game

 But they were moments of peace, or if you dare to call it that way, love. Yes, in some moments you truly loved each other. In a way, only the both of you can understand.

No one could possibly get how good you felt when you were finally calming down after the storm. How his eyes would clear up. How your heart would beat for him when his lips pink pouty lips curled into an adorable boxy smile. When you laid your head on his chest and that you knew he was yours, yours only. How you knew that heart beating against your ear was beating for you. How you knew the soft warm breath fanning your cheeks was just for you. When you both apologized and made the ever empty promise of never hurting each other again. He looked at you with the most sincere eyes and he said that he loved you…

This…

This feeling… no one could understand, no one but you two.

In your own unique and fucked up way… you loved each other.

But it had to be stopped right? If it went on you would have ended up killing each other… When you love and hate someone so much at the same time it’s the only way out…

And so you broke with him for good when after another fight you… You have absolutely no trouble recalling the taste of blood in your mouth, the pain in your scratched out throat, the screams of your ex-boyfriend, the sinking void in your chest…

You remember everything, every single detail.

How his voice shattered your eardrums, the noise of your nose breaking, the blood gushing out his brow bone, dripping in his eye.

That night was the last one.

 You can’t help but to think about that when you look at the message on your phone. It’s been a year, the memories of the damage you’ve done and the pain you endured is still fresh… But so is this feeling of warm happiness bubbling in your stomach… and so is this feeling you want to call love…

***

“Hey” Baekhyun simply says when he opens the front door of his apartment. He invites you in and you try to avoid his eyes.

“The living room is right there he points to the end of the hall” you nod, eyes still on the floor as you walk to the designated room. You sit yourself on the couch and Baekhyun sits right in front of you in a single seat. The only light source is a desk lamp set on the end table to your right. The room is small but cosy it has the familiar smell of cold cigarette that you came to love.

“The apartment is nice” you finally say after a long moment of silence. Baekhyun chuckles.

“Yeah… it’s kinda nice living on my own now… You know without the roommate” You are still looking around the room even though you already looked at the details of the curtains 3 times. “The only downside is that you can’t blame someone else for the dishes piling up in the sink” He laughs, with that clear, open mouth laugh that you used to know. A sound you thought you would never hear again. You don’t know why but that makes you look at him.

The second you lay eyes on him your heart sinks. His dark brown eyes forming little crescents, his pouty lips curled up in an amused smile, his moles sitting on the side of his face. After that long , you would have thought that you had forgotten such details about him but you didn’t.

His smile faded when he noticed how long you stared. You locked eyes with him and somehow it felt different… Somehow you felt like you were going to be alright… Somehow you felt at home…

“You want something to drink?” he asked, blinking twice and shaking his head, breaking the intense eye contact.

“Yeah… Vodka please” you quietly answered smiling back.

At once he disappeared into the kitchen. The room was completely silent and you were able to hear your heart. It was beating hard but not fast. You didn’t feel nervous at all for some reason.

When Baekhyun came back with two glasses of the clear liquid and a beaming smile he sat next to you on the couch. Because frankly, it was what felt the most natural. His thighs pressed against yours.

You brought your glass to your lips to have a sip.

You thought that it would have been awkward that you wouldn’t know what to say but… The truth was that you didn’t need to say anything. You already spent hours speaking already. It was like you already said all the words in the world. And no words could ever make it right anyway. What was done was done and reality can’t be sugar coated anymore.

“Listen, y/n I-“

“No” you lifted your hand. “Don’t”

You didn’t want to hear them again. You knew them by heart the fake excuses and the empty promises. You didn’t come for that. You came to remember what was good.

You leaned in and closed your eyes and Baekhyun did too. When your lips link, sparks of electricity shoot between you, shivers run down your spine, making the hairs on your nape stand. Just a simple peck before he parted from you. Immediately your lips missed the warmth of his.

Baekhyun brought his hand to press your thigh. His cold slender fingers caressing your skin though your distressed jeans. You’re startled when you feel a warm tear roll down on your cheek. You repress a sob when you finally understand what it is… Then you notice a scar above his eyebrow and flashes of the last fight come rushing to you… You made that, you made that scar, along with the many invisible one that slowly turned him into the broken person he is. The overwhelming weight of guilt comes to crush you down.

But before you can open your mouth to say anything he crashes his trembling lips on yours. Trying so hard not to cry too. But the truth is that he missed you just as much.

His cold hands slip under your hoodie and roam your heated skin while yours unbutton his shirt. You can’t believe the same hands that are right now so delicately caressing your skin are the same that were lifted hit you so many times.

You can’t believe the soft lips kissing you so sweetly are the same ones that parted to insult you so many times.

You press your eyes closed shut, trying to chase away the memories of blood gushing out and shattered screams. You let your fingers entangle in his shiny silver hair. While he unbuckles you belt and pulls down your pants. Right after you help him out of his own clothes.

You lay down on the couch and he lays right over you, gently kissing your neck as you gasp at each one.

When he pulls away to look at you, his eyes translate a thousand emotions. Guilt, sadness, remorse and maybe, just maybe, even love. Or maybe you only want to see that in his eyes.

“Are you sure you want this?” he says his own eyes brimming with tears.

“Yeah” you breathe out.

Yes you want to forget about the bad things, about the pain and hatred, about the screams and the blood. You want to escape the truth one last time. You want to tell yourself that underneath all of this was true love. And you want to believe it’s still there even though it’s untrue. Even though you’re lying again…

Just then, like he senses your need to turn your face away from the truth, your need for fiction he crashes his lips onto yours, pulling you into a rough and harsh kiss. His teeth grazing over your lips. 

His length plunges inside your sopping center and his warmth pulls a small gasp from your lips. Finally reunited at last. 

He seizes the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth. Both of your body match up a coordinated and pleasurable rythme. His rough and hungry hands convey how much he missed you and even after all this time, he still knows you by heart… Of course he does… and you do too because the truth is that… You and him… You could never forget each other. Forever damned to be together, forever cursed to be apart.

The pleasant and familiar feeling of his hands, his lips and his manhood kissing your deepest part ignites a fire inside you. You pull both of your bodies up. You make him sit up and you straddle his lap.

But the truth is just right here, whispering in your ear…

 “You’re just fucking whore” his distant voice yells form the back of your head

You want to forget

Your hands roughly pull on his hair as he thrusts up inside you, making you moan his name in a shaky whisper. He whimpers into the deep and messy kiss. Your hands run on his warm skin, desperate to find under your finger the soft sensation you used to know.

 The sound of shattered glass on the floor

You want to forget

Your hips swivel around on him. You push your center against his hard cock, making him moan against the skin of your neck. Both if your warm bodies pressed together are reminded of each other.

 Soft sobs, lying on the cold tiles of the bathroom

You want to forget

He nibbles on your collar bones while you throw your head back giving him unrestricted access to you. His swift hands contour you and harshly grip your waist to pull you up and push you down on him, walls clenching around him while you feel him twitch in pleasure. Baekhyun dives in on your chest, taking one of your sensitive nipples in his mouth.

 The smudge makeup, the cold nights, the reek of alcohol, the screams, the sound of his hands leaving blue marks on your face, the horrors you said, the horrors he did… everything… everything…

You want to forget everything

 “Aaaah… Baekhyun” you whisper, trying to cover the overwhelming rumor of your own memories.

“Fuck y/n” He breaths against your skin while you lower your hips on him.

It feels so good. He feels so good. You close your eyes, making sure to enjoy the moment while for a brief instant you didn’t feel miserable.

“Fuck Baekhyun… Aaaah'' you moan again, feeling your core throb around Baekhyun’s length while his comforting grunts fill the air between you. 

“That's it baby” he purrs in your ears, hands roaming your body and lightly teasing your hard nipples. “Moan my name”

“Baekhyunnn” you cry out, feeling your release coming dangerously close as you rock your hips on him. 

“Fuck baby you’re so tight” he moans “You’re gonna make me cum” He says pushing his hip up fucking you back while you both sync up, fucking each other and at a beatiful matching pace.

“Say you love me” you plead, desperately wanting to believe him.

“I love you. I love you y/n” his hoarse voice whistles in your ear.

“I love you too” 

“Let's make that kid. Let's have that child we always dreamed about” he moans, nails digging into your bare thighs

“Okay” you whisper in a short breath, giving up, desperately wanting to believe this child will save the both of you.

“Take my cum baby.” His breath is short, struggling on every word. “Get pregnant... aghh” he grunts as he finally cums.

You feel him let go, huge amounts of thick cum rush inside of you, filling you up to the brink, reaching the deepest part of you, where life can possibly sprout.

You throw your head back, toes curled up and eyes rolled back as you bite hard on your bottom lip, fully enjoying the delicious full sensation spreading to your body as your heat uncontrollable twitches in a powerful orgasm. 

You moan out his name like a prayer, like a religious mantra. A final vain attempt to make you both right for each other at last.

He crashes his lips onto your, trying to chase away your doubts while you throb around his cock.

“Cum for me baby” he whispers as you slowly ride your high, drunk on the unbearable pleasure he pumped inside you.

Once you both get down he looks at you eyes filled with something you can’t quite describe, something you’ve never seen before… Maybe hope.

“I love you y/n”

“I love you too”

You hide your face in the crook of his neck, hiding the tears rolling on your cheeks. 

Even if it has to end in despair and sorrow, if it’s with him then you are willing to give it a pointless try once again. Because even if it’s a lie you love the way he looks at you when he says these three simple words.

General Masterlist 

Tag list:  @lovebuginlove @calamell @bobohumyonlyboo @smolbeanmika @making-me-blush @wooya1224 @yixing-jaehyun @f4ncyvelvet @lalalala-lav @deligxt @xofanfics @byunsugar @dixnysustae @to-all-the-stories-i-love @artisticcgroove @myexoobsession @geniusloey @blahblahblah-boo @nana-banana @mingiandbaconjam @chanyeolscoon (if you don't like angst i'm sorry for tagging you 😭)

A/N: There we go! Please tell me if I honored IM’s amazing song. I listened to it around 5000 times. So guys... can I write angst or not? I don't really know if I like it 🤔

[aro-culture-is]

hi. i’ve been struggling with if i’m aro or not. i identify as aroace specifically cupioromantic ace. ive never had a crush. all my “crushes” were just aesthetic attraction and wanting to know more about them but from a distance. i never wanted it to go anywhere. i hated it because i knew i didn’t actually like them but it was like my brain wanted me to. the idea of someone liking me has always made me panic. the idea of affection such as kissing, hugging, cuddling etc makes me uncomfortable. i don’t understand how romantic relationships work. i’ve even googled it a few times. i want to get married because i want a life partner to love and potentially have kids with, but i cant imagine myself dating someone let alone getting married. it seems simple to figure out but my body image issues, insecurities, and childhood could easily be to blame for all of these so i’m really stuck. i feel bad for using the label even though im not sure because ignorant people think aces just “can’t get laid” and aros “can’t get a date” and i’m basically feeding into their ignorance

hi! this is kinda a long ask, so i'm gonna break it up into chunks.

hi. i’ve been struggling with if i’m aro or not. i identify as aroace specifically cupioromantic ace. ive never had a crush. all my “crushes” were just aesthetic attraction and wanting to know more about them but from a distance. i never wanted it to go anywhere. i hated it because i knew i didn’t actually like them but it was like my brain wanted me to. the idea of someone liking me has always made me panic. the idea of affection such as kissing, hugging, cuddling etc makes me uncomfortable. i don’t understand how romantic relationships work. i’ve even googled it a few times

So, to start with: it sounds to me like you've never had crushes, which likely means that you've never experienced romantic attraction - fitting neatly into the aromantic label even at it's most over-simplified. It also sounds to me like you are romance repulsed. You express intense distaste and discomfort around romance.

i want to get married because i want a life partner to love and potentially have kids with, but i cant imagine myself dating someone let alone getting married.

To rephrase as I understand it: you want a committed long term partner and to raise kids with, but don't want it to be romantic? There's a few things I want to address as possibilities: first of all, have you heard of QueerPlatonic Relationships (QPRs)? They can be a non-romantic, long-term and committed relationship. You may or may not like that thought - personally I'm not interested, though many aros are. Another possibility is that you are feeling the societal pressure to do this - while the term refers to more than just this, amatonormativity can make us feel bad for not wanting romance or marriage in our lives.

it seems simple to figure out but my body image issues, insecurities, and childhood could easily be to blame for all of these so i’m really stuck

in all honesty... does that matter? does it matter "why" someone is aromantic any more than it matters "why" someone is gay? I see this attitude around a LOT recently, and in all truth it feels to me so very similar to attitudes about gay individuals that I grew up with... which we now know to be homophobia and eugenics-driven beliefs. I recall straight adults in my life commenting, when I was a child, about how they didn't understand how someone could be gay because "they had such a normal childhood", and now I see "Oh, you must be (and, just as often, not be) aromantic because you had a traumatic childhood (or poor self image, etc)". I can't describe how much it makes my skin crawl to see such attitudes. When individuals express such things, it is driven by the eugenics fueled belief that if we can learn "why", we can "cure" it and remove it from the genetic pool.

i feel bad for using the label even though im not sure because ignorant people think aces just “can’t get laid” and aros “can’t get a date” and i’m basically feeding into their ignorance

Ah yes, because stereotypes are formed by individuals who fit them rather than the oppressor class building preconceived notions which are VERY likely to have no evidence or background in reality /s. Genuinely, why does it matter if you are a stereotype? Is it not the intention of bigots to make us feel bad for being ourselves? Why should we give them the pleasure of driving us from our communities over their small-mindedness? You're fine - signed, a loveless, sex favorable aro with trauma (aka: THE stereotype).

tl;dr: it sounds to me like you're a romance repulsed aroace individual. you may feel bad about this due to amatonormativity, and as such are rejecting yourself for, frankly, arophobic reasons.

I've answered questions like this via the tag "am i aro", if you'd like to see more responses!

- mod kee

[bangchanswolfpelt]

hello, hi, i’m back and i’m alive (mostly).

a quick explanation: immediately after my last post, life happened, as it does. i won’t go into the details because, frankly, they’re boring—work got insane and still is, my immune system flared up like the mild trashfire it’s always been, and on top of all of that, the roomie and i scheduled a truly stupid amount of traveling for the very end of the year. as a result, a lot of stuff fell by the wayside and this blog was one of them.

then i wrote two thousand words about Yoon Jeonghan in a mad, sleep-deprived frenzy on the way to LA today and remembered that i actually enjoy writing. wild, right?

so i’m back now! i’m not gonna try say how active i’m gonna be, because life is still crazy enough that i genuinely have no idea. but i’m here and i’m writing again, and also reading your messages, and holy shit y’all sent A LOT of them. like seriously, i was not expecting my inbox to look the way it does rn and i’m saying that in the most bewildered and grateful way possible.

im gonna start responding to individual messages this week probably, but i just wanna throw out a blanket ‘thank you, and i love you’ to anyone who’s around to read this because i really did pop my inbox open to nothing but concern and affection and unrelenting thirst and i don’t have the words to express what that means to me. ❤️‍🩹

some housekeeping:

kinktober requests will start going up again at some point in the near-ish future, interspersed with the regular requests that have been chugging along on the back burner and my usual unrequested nonsense. requests will stay closed while i work on what’s already queued up and figure out how i want them to actually work moving forward. my inbox is still open, tho, and will be unless Something Drastic happens; i’ll be plugging away at clearing that out as well💕

my day6🧟 tag is changing to eaj🧑🏼‍🚀 because the writing on the wall has become painfully clear, and as much as i enjoy day6’s music, i was only ever interested in Jae as a person and the odds of me starting to care about the rest of these boys now is lookin real unlikely. 👀

also, i mainlined all of Kingdom in a feverish haze and i’m a motherfukin Melody forreals now, i guess!?!? so talk to me about daddy Eunkwang and slutty mommy Minhyuk to save my roommate 😂

everything i have up on AO3 is now cross-posted to dreamwidth—if you’re there, come say hello! i know absolutely no one there! (also, if you’re reading this and you’re also writing here on tumblr—this is your lovingly aggressive reminder to back! up! your! stuff!! do not trust or rely on tumblr!! AO3 is pretty fuckin great, but dreamwidth is solid too! i love everyone at this party, but we are dancing in a condemned, crumbling building!! do yourself and the people who love your writing a favor and make sure it sticks around!!!!)

i’m in LA literally RIGHT NOW for ptd, so if anyone’s at so-fi on the thirtieth (today) or the first and you see a shortstack with dark blue hair wearing a Yellow Peril/0X1=LOVESONG tee or a Big Tiddy Gang hoodie cut too short to adequately cover tiddies of any size, come yell at me to get back to writing in person💞

[emptymasks]

I’ve seen a lot about your thoughts on Elisabeth and Tanz der Vampire, and they’ve been really helpful getting into those musicals! But you have a huge list of other musicals that people can get into…

So I was wondering if you had any musicals you hadn’t mentioned in a while that you really like or would like to talk about??? (preferably something from your lists that has a blue heart please?)

Oh if only you knew how long the list of European musicals really is... I however have only seen 9 (if I counted right) and I have a lot more that I still need to watch. Oh also, I only put the blue hearts on any musicals that I was providing multiple links for so people could see which version I reccoment the most highly. If a musical only had one link and didn't have a blue heart it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

I've watched: Mozart das Musical, Elisabeth das Musical, Tanz der Vampire, 3 Musketiers, Mozart L'Opéra Rock, Dracula (the Graz production), Rebecca das Musical, Roméo et Juliette and Schikaneder.

If you enjoyed those two you're likely to enjoy Rebecca! It's written by the same composer/lyricist team as Elisabeth and Mozart (and same lyricist as Tanz der Vampire - though if you're listening to any German musical, original or translated, 90% of the time the lyrics will have been done by Michael Kunze that man is everywhere). The Stuttgart production has my favourite set design of any musical! Well... Actually probably. There are so many big set pieces it's insane, way more than I've seen in some Broadway and West End musicals. You can tell so much work went into it and the visual effects that I won't spoil if you don't know the plot but if you know the plot you know what I mean by the effects at the end are so good and I didn't expect them at all and I freaked out so much the first time I watched it. Jan Ammann as Maxim in the Stuttgart production is the best Maxim. No I won't take any argument. Other actors feel a bit one-dimensional to me, but the way Maxim acts at times comes from trauma and some actors and productions seem to forget that, but Jan really goes for it and his Maxim is a lot more sympathetic and I just want to give him a hug. Pia Douwes as Mrs Danvers, if you've seen her in Elisabeth what more do I need to say, she's amazing. A musical goddess. Her Danny is a bit more wild than some, but she kills it. My favourite video, which I put the blue heart next to, has understudy Christina Patten as Ich/I, but I adore her she's my favourite. She adds some spunk to Ich in act 2 and her voice is so pretty and aaaa. I just love these three actors together in these roles.

Roméo et Juliette is another favourite of mine! It's hard to choose which one to recommend, but it has to be the original 2000/2001 production because of the sweetness and chemistry and voices of Damien Sargue and Cecilia Cara as Romeo and Juliet. They're so pretty and work together so well. The only reason I say it's hard to pick is Mercutio. I adore him, but in the original production they cut out a song they had planned for him and he doesn't really do much at all? In the 2010 revival they gave him two more songs and you care about him so much more and John Eyzen plays such a good Mercutio. So I'd recommend the original but if you want to like Mercutio more, which you should he's amazing, I'd recommend watching at least clips of John's. It's an interesting musical because all productions are non-replica and also change around the order of songs, add or take away characters, all sorts. The Hungarian production is also very popular and I'm sure it's great, I just haven't' gotten around to watching it yet.

Mozart das Musical was the first non-English language musicals I watched so I have a fondness for it, but it's not my favourite. However, I do realise I have forgotten most of the songs and the few I've gone back and listened to are better than I remember.

Dracula isn't super popular and I understand why, I don't love the plot of the Dracula/Mina romance in it, however. I do love this musical because despite how I find the plot lacking, the songs are so good! At least, I love them. And the actors are all doing a great job. And it's one of the few Dracula adaptions to keep Quincy Morris so they get bonus points for that.

Mozart L'Opéra Rock and modern French musicals... This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they're often more like pop-rock operas now. So if you're not into musicals with that style of music it might not be for you, but I still enjoyed it even though I didn't think I would because of the style of music. Mozart and Salieri's chemistry is very good, Salieri's bisexual crisis song is iconic, actually all of Salieri's songs are iconic.

Schikaneder... eh. I didn't like it that much and I didn't really like any of the songs. There's no English subtitles, but someone sent me the entire English synopsis and I watched it with a German friend so I had double the help of understanding it. Doesn't mean others might not like it, just none of the songs stood out to me and I had no desire to listen to any of them again. It's by Steven Scharwz of Wicked fame and I love Wicked, but I didn't love this.

3 Musketiers!! God it's so underrated and not spoken about within the European musical fandom that I even forget about it and literally forgot to write about it earlier in this post. It's a Dutch musical (though did also have a German production) and it's really good!? Faces you might know are Pia Douwes as Milady de Winter, Stanley Burlseon as Cardinal Richeliu (Netherlands Der Tod in Elisabeth), Henk Poort as Athos (Netherlands Phantom and Jean Valjean). The dialgoue is funny, the songs are good, some of the set pieces have no right to exist in this tiny musical?? They made this giant boat and pelt the actors with rain just for one 5 minute song and then we never see the boat again? And while I recommend the Dutch one because Dutch musicals deserve more love and it has official English subtitles!! Official ones, not fanmade! I have the DVD and it comes with English subtitles (and Dutch and German subtitles) which is so nice. The German version is also good, good cast, Pia came back and Uwe Kroger as Richeliu and omg they rearranged the songs and the German arrangement of Nicht Aus Stein is insane and amazing and frankly iconic.

That's all of the ones I have watched. Next on my list to watch are Rudolf and Notre Dame de Paris, both of which I have listened to some songs from and already love (I've listened to way too much of Notre Dame de Paris and am so in love).

I want to start organising streams where I'll host the musical either by getting the video from Youtube or my own files and anyone who wants to join can come along and watch with us, chat with us if you want or just watch there's no pressure to chat. I thought about doing weekly streams? This would also make me finally watch some of the ones I've been meaning to for ages. But I keep wondering about time zones. I'm in the UK and would want to stream at about 11pm at the latest (11pm BST/GMT+1 as we’re in daylight savings at the moment, if the streams continue past the end of October which would be wild then I’ll make a note of the time change that would be to 11pm GMT), which I know can work for other UK and Europeans, but for any Americans would be in the afternoon. So, I wondered if doing it on a weekend would be better? Then it doesn't matter if it's in the afternoon? Maybe Saturday evenings then? It would either be Saturday evenings UK time or Friday evenings UK time. What do you guys think? If people are down then I'll make a separate post with a list of what we'll be watching each week and if anything happens to me that means I can't stream one week then everything will just get pushed back a week, but I don't see that as likely to happen. And I'll only be streaming those that have English subtitles, so don't worry about not being able to understand anything.

edit: am also open to 10pm bst if others want that, im just trying to think of what time works best for everyone so sorry if 11pm is a little late for europeans, i know 10pm could be a little early for americans. also in case it sounded like these are the only musicals i will be streaming, thats not so, ive got more than just the ones mentioned on this list!

(Tagging some people who I know are or might be interested in streams to see what you think of that plan: @sirona-art @ringwraith100 @tanz-der-trash @smilingwoland @the-weird-dane @witchgaye @ami-fidele @kisstheghouls @looking-4-happiness @ladysapphire928 @sloanedestler @tinywound @persephonaae @phoenixdewinter @uwucoffee @freshbloodandgothicism )

[seita]

some coping mechanism are wrong and do need to be discussed or changed!! neurodivergency doesn’t give u an excuse to hurt or trigger others!! coping mechanisms don’t exist in vaccums... and you and ur followers are harming real people by saying such

i was going to ignore most everything i got on the subject because quite frankly i'm over it. every opposing take either doesn't make sense, is completely ignorant, or is just plain stupid.

this one? is just idiocy.

so i'm gonna take the time to explain some things to you.

i cannot begun to express the ignorance and privilege that is seeped into every single word of this ask. i am actually baffled that you genuinely thought that this was, in any way shape or form, okay. or that you even thought this was a hot take at all.

you do not have any jurisdiction or power to tell other people that the way they cope is wrong. that is so beyond disgusting.

do you know why people choose to write dark content to cope?

a few reasons that range from: gives power/comfort over their trauma to lets them release emotions that otherwise have no outlet.

beyond that is that some people don’t have the resources or support system needed to cope in other ways. all they may have is a pen and paper or a laptop. they may not live in a home where they were believed, they may still be trapped with their abuser, or they may just plain not be able to afford therapy.

but do you know what the fun thing is? plenty of these people who choose to cope in this way are advised by their therapists to do it. like myself.

i used to write in little notebooks as a child -- really dark, foul shit and i didn’t understand why i did it. i talked to my therapist and i was told it’s a great outlet! i have to say writing is probably one of the top reasons i managed to get to the space i am in today.

when i learned the wonders of the internet growing up, i also sought out to READ the content. of course, it was very hard to find because of people like you who do nothing but shame it simply because of the real world values the crimes possess and for some reason refuse to see it in a fictional, helpful way.

it’s a very real and very valid coping mechanism: both reading and writing are incredibly beneficial.

this outlet also helps people just the same as it can hurt people. i don’t know who or what you think you’re doing but survivors who are triggered by the content of a darker nature WILL NOT CLICK ON IT TO READ IT. why are you acting like survivors and victims are brainless, mindless idiots who will read something clearly labeled with their triggers as if there’s some invisible force dictating them too?

and who are you? a highschool student? a college student? a therapist? what right gives you, a random person on the internet, to dictate something that has been ADVISED and PROVEN to help with coping to trauma to deem it wrong?

im gonna go ahead and say your morality. nothing beyond that.

you see dark content as just disgusting porn fucked up people jerk off to but it’s beyond that. and very obviously something you do not understand and most likely refuse to understand.

you think because you think something is wrong that it should be wrong all around. you don’t like it so it shouldn’t be done.

i hate to break it to you but the real world isn’t going to cater to you. i sure as fuck won’t. i’m not in charge of making you feel happy or content on the internet. if you log on to your computer and expect people to babysit you and make you feel comforted and safe -- you’re doing the internet wrong.

you only choose to see the negative side to this. you see that people can be triggered or hurt by this content and that’s valid. people can and will be. but there’s also a HUGE number that people like you choose to ignore and invalidate under the guise of protecting survivors only to hurt them at the same time. it doesn’t make sense.

you’re not trying to advocate and protect people -- you’re trying to make the fandom and content match up to your puritan ideals and fantasies. the world isn’t like that. people are always going to do things you don’t like and have opposing opinions on things. stop trying to act like you’re doing this for the greater good -- a martyr, hero complex isn’t a cute look and we can see exactly what you’re doing.

i don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that dark content does not have as big of a negative impact as you think it does.

i also don’t understand how other survivors can see what people like me do and tell us we’re wrong. i don’t go out of my way to shame you and say “oh you don’t like dark content? weird.” i mind my own fucking business and stay away from blogs that don’t want to interact with dark content writers.

i am respectful always. i never attack people for having opposing opinions. i never attack people personally. people who write dark content don’t do that shit.

you know who does?

your side.

you know what someone said to me in an effort to shame me and bully me for writing what i write? they called my writing shit -- the thing i use to cope and help other cope. i’ve never gone on anon or off anon and told someone their writing was shit.

i also had someone ask me why i think being a victim made me special. i’m gonna let you sit and figure out exactly what is wrong with that question.

those are the types of people you’re enabling and encouraging. if you people just left dark writers alone we wouldn’t hurt anyone. you all preach this shit about how dark content is SOOOOO easily availble anyone can read it. that is false. the only way to find dark content is to ALREADY BE ASSOCIATING WITH PEOPLE WHO CREATE OR CONSUME DARK CONTENT. it’s not tagged in the main tags. it will not show up in your orbit or be blasted on your page because someone posted it.

and then you people say “oh minors will be convinced it’s okay!!!” no. minors aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are. they fully know and understand exactly what they’re getting into. they see the word rape and know in real life THAT’S BAD.

you don’t want a slasher film and think  “oh wow look at him killin all those people but not getting caught I COULD DO THAT TOO!!!!” no. you don’t. because you know it’s wrong.

y’all are so high up on you moral horse that you think everyone around you is fucking stupid and has no common sense.

if someone thinks what they read in fiction makes it okay in real life, there was already something wrong with them to begin with.

but no, you’ll pull out anything on earth to try and get your point across. from secondhand trauma to it just being offensive.

and i hate to be the one to tell you this but...all this crusading is doing basically nothing in the long run. you know what happened yesterday from being called out? i lost 9 followers.

and then i gained 20. and now im only 100 away from 16,000.

what did all of this achieve? what does any of this even do?

whenever you people do this what exactly is it you want? do you expect us to just...stop...because you don’t like it? are you really so self-centered and self-righteous that you think you’re THAT important. do you really believe your opinion and voice is the loudest and most important to consider?

because it really isn’t.

just as you’re sitting here telling me you’re wanting to protect people -- i’m wanting to help people. do you know how many people i’ve had thank me for making them feel better about their owwn fantasies that they’d previously been ashamed of because they’re a victim? or how many people thank me for providing the content they rely on to cope?

i’m gonna go ahead and say those are the people i want to help. those are the people i care about. and i don’t know what it’s gonna take for you people to understand that i will not stop until i DECIDE to.

this is the internet. none of your opinions or words have any long-lasting, realistic effect on me, my person, or my life. i could delete my blog and in a month nothing any of you have said to me over this course of time will have impacted me in the long term. of course, other people are more sensitive and can get hurt by this discourse.

but i don’t. i’m a lot more stubborn and thick-skinned than you people may seem to realize.

your words will continue to go in one ear and out the other. i know where i stand. i know where i want to remain.

your morality nor your opinions are blanket rules that everyone should abide by. get some perspective and learn your place in the world before speaking on things you clearly cannot understand.

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | five

> series masterlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 4.2k

warnings: implied sexual content, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, club scene, alcohol consumption, intoxication, seokjin is ready to risk it all cause reader is a huge flirt, the love triangle mess shall begin

notes: AH IM SORRY, THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY?!? I TRIED to make this as fair as possible, but i..... clearly have an issue and just really wanted this to be messy lmao 

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish​ @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

"Waddup bro." Namjoon steps aside to let Jin in. "Wasn't expecting you to come by since we're seeing each other tonight." Jin chuckled.

"Fuck, that's right." Joon laughs as he hands Jin a bottle of water before sitting.

"What, you forgot? You planned this for your own stepbrother."

"No, I know. Just a lot of things going on." He sips on his water, manspreading in Namjoon's loveseat in the livingroom. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, the headache he felt earlier this morning no longer as bad, but still lingered. After getting home last night, he had tried to push you out of his mind, but failed miserably. It didn't help that he really and genuinely tried to clear the air with Grace, only for her to push him off and sleep on the far end of their bed.

"You alright? What's going on? I feel like I haven't seen you this stressed in a really long time. Last time was probably when you were planning your proposal." Jin softly chuckles, his head still tilted back.

"Yeah, it's been quite the shit show lately."

"Can't be that bad, can it? Have you and Grace been fighting?"

"A tad."

"A tad? The way you're acting right now says it's much more than a tad."

"We've been distant. Busy. We don't do things together anymore." He shortens the shpeel cause quite frankly, he's tired of repeating the story even though he hasn't told many people.

"Why don't you guys talk about it?"

"We can't communicate properly. I try, she gets even more upset and blows me off."

"It's probably just a rough patch in your relationship. I'm sure if you just give each other enough space, you could figure out how to fix things and have a serious conversation about where you both are at and what you need from each other. Remind each other that you're a team, and not working against each other." Jin's slightly shot his head up, his eyebrow raised.

"That's actually pretty solid advice coming from you."

"Shut up, you need help right?" Joon laughs.

"You're right though, it's just been hard. I feel like we've been constantly pushing each other away."

"You two are stubborn."

"Yup, that too." Jin sipped his water.

"I know that's not the only thing on your mind." If it was anyone in Jin's circle, you could count on Namjoon to figure things out before you can even say anything to him. "It's a little hard to believe you came over here to tell me this." In which, he's right. Jin never really talked about his relationship problems, let alone did he go out of his way to tell his friends what was going on. It was more of a thing that naturally came up in conversation when they were all together.

"Don't know what you're talking about." Joon shakes his head.

"Who is she?" Jin watches Namjoon's curious eyes as he leans into the palm of his hand. He was trying to come up with excuses or find ways to see himself out of his conversation, but he couldn't. Namjoon was too smart for this. If it were Yoongi or Hoseok, maybe he could get away with it. The only thing that Jin can come up with is a stupid smirk before he shakes his head and breaks eye contact. "See."

"See what?"

"That smirk. You can't tell me I don't know that smirk. I've been there before, dude. Who is she?" He repeats, causing Jin to succumb to defeat.

"She's a grad student in my creative writing class." Namjoon pauses before he bursts out in laughter.

"I need to sit back and get comfy on my couch for this." He says leaning back and crossing his arms. "She's a grad student? What's her name?" Jin nods.

"Y/N. 25 and so fucking attractive. It's frustrating." Jin groans into his hands.

"And you're telling me you see her more than just a distraction? I mean, I have to ask cause you are going through a rough patch with Grace." Although this is definitely not what Namjoon agrees with, he was only going to advise Jin on how to approach things. But execution-wise, it was up to Jin because this was his life. Namjoon was only part of it.

"She's smart, and she's fun. And.. she's refreshing."

"What did she do to make you feel this way?"

"She kissed me. In my classroom. And," Jin swallows the lump in his throat. "It happened again last night. It almost escalated into other things. But she stopped it." He quickly says because he can see Namjoon's facial expression changing. "She stopped it and she put me in my place because it just made things even more complicated. She said that we should keep our distance from each other."

"Which, she's right Jin. You really can't be doing this." Namjoon says sternly. "Please don't be stupid. This can hurt alot of people, especially since you're still engaged to Grace."

"I know, but likeeeeee--"

"No but's." Joon shook his head. Honestly, he didn't expect this behavior from Jin and it concerned him. "I can't force you on how to act, that's solely up to you. But you need to understand that it has to be one or the other, it can't be both. You either try and work things out with Grace and leave Y/N alone, or you call it quits with Grace."

"Y/N has been occupying my mind lately and it's been hard to push her out."

"Maybe that should be a sign as to what you need to do?" Joon sighs. "I don't know. I don't know her, so I can't say much, but are you really ready to throw away all these years with Grace for her? Like, is it really that serious?" Jin shrugged.

"I don't know, she doesn't want this."

"Correction - she doesn't want this because you're engaged. It's obvious that things would be different if the circumstances changed."

"I love Grace. A lot. We've been through so many things together, lots of ups and downs that taught us things."

"Yeah, and I love you both. I love Grace like a sister. But you can't stick around just because of history and because you both are comfortable, if that's what it really comes down to. It's not fair for both parties. If you find out that this is the end of your relationship with Grace, then it's the end."

"I'm just torn."

"Look, whatever you do, know that I support you no matter what and I'm always going to be here for you. But please do this right, no matter what that is. You can't have both of them."

"Yeah I know, I hear you." Joon nods.

"You're selfish, you know that?" Joon laughs. "You couldn't even introduce her to your single friends?" Jin smiled.

"Nope. Finders keepers." Joon rose his middle finger. "Just do me a favor and keep your mouth shut until I tell Yoongi and Hoseok myself."

"Sure, whatever. Not my battle anyways." He stood up and stretched. "So, where are we taking your little Jungkookie tonight?"

"The club so he can get some for his birthday."

"What a good older brother." Jin laughed.

"Is Grace in New York already?"

"Yep. I'm probably just going to head home and sleep until then. I don't remember the last time I stayed up this late, let alone the last time I went to a club."

"Yeah go home, and not to Y/N's house."

"Should I?" Jin joked, but Namjoon rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding, don't worry. Everything didn't just go in one ear and out the other."

"Yeah, please reassure me and tell me that I didn't waste time giving you advice."

"Oh my god, hurry up!" Jimin groaned loudly as he laid sloppily on your couch, getting restless while waiting for you, Ryujin and Taehyung to finish getting ready. To be fair, you all had been getting ready and fooling around for 2 hours, while Jimin sat patiently and watched whatever was on TV.

"Shut up, Jimin! I'm going to make sure I look good tonight." Ryujin yelled back.

"For who?"

"The dick I'll be getting."

"Why did I even ask?" Jimin sighed and dug his head into a pillow while you and Ryujin continued to yell and sing along loudly to every song that came through on your bluetooth speakers. "You all look good already, please, what else do you need to do?" He mumbled into the pillow. Don't get him wrong, he loves you all to death. He truly does. But it's just been such a long time since you all have gone out like this. He forgot what it was like.

"You know, she really means me." Taehyung tugged on his collar and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip.

"Okay, honestly. You two should probably fuck already. Get it out of your systems, you know?" You say as you dab lip gloss on your lips before shrugging and rolling your eyes. "Jesus Christ."

"Okay, no. You're supposed to be on my side, and that doesn't help." Ryujin's cheeks flush to a rosy tint as she pulls you aside. You knew damn well she was feeling embarrassed because it was true. She wanted to. Once Ryujin finally dusted herself off and was satisfied with her outfit, you both walked out into the living room to meet Jimin and Taehyung. Their eyes widened as they caught sight of you two, Ryujin in a pink, ruched dress with matching pink heels and you in a matching 2-piece skirt and low cut crop top.

"Oh shit, you both look good as hell." Taehyung says as he gets up and continues to eye both of you up and down. Mostly Ryujin, though. "Shall we head out?"

"Yup!" You say as you come to Jimin's side and lead the way out of your apartment. Jimin decided he'd drive tonight since he didn't feel like drinking too much, but he still wanted to go out and have fun. The crew headed to grab dinner at the Farmhouse Kitchen, which served the best Thai food in town. You all enjoyed some good grub, along with some really strong cocktails. You felt super happy that you all had time to finally do this since it's been a minute. You felt like you could finally let lose and get your mind off of things. The things that your dearest bestfriends don't even know about.

But, stories for other days. Tonight, you felt good and you looked good. You were all that and then some. Maybe tonight was the night you could meet a single, fine ass man to dance up on and act up with.

The cocktails were hitting you and Ryujin the most, already feeling tipsy before heading into the club.

"Wooooo!" Ryujin yelled before laughing out loud. "I'm ready!"

"Okay, yes, same, but please keep it together so we can at least make it inside the club." Jimin pleaded. He led your crew up to security, flashing your IDs one by one and paying for the cover fee before stepping in to the already packed nightclub. You and your friends ended up walking in a straight line, holding each other's hands to navigate through the crowd to the bottom floor. The top floor was the most crowded, being it was the house / EDM floor, while the bottom Hip Hop floor wasn't too jammed packed.

"Shots, my friends?" Taehyung asks as he swings over to the front of the bar. You follow behind him and line up against the bartender, asking for some good ol' Don Julio tequila. It wasn't your fave, but it was definitely Taehyung's go-to, and you can't lie, it got the job done quick for you. You all stick around the bar to take your shots, kicking them back to back [besides Jimin] to really get this night started.

As you waited for the final around, Taehyung is scanning the room and notices a group loudly making their way from down the steps and over to the bar. They were cheering on whoever the birthday boy was. A face in the group had looked familiar, so Taehyung squints his eyes to get a better look, and realizes its no other than Jin with his friends.

"Oh, shit! Look! Mr. Kim's here!" Taehyung laughs and says loudly, pointing towards the other end of the bar.

"Is he really?! Let's go take a shot with him and his friends!" Ryujin squeals as she sees him come into full view. You too, get a glimpse of him as they approach the bar and suddenly, you felt hot and nervous - the alcohol being of no help during this time. He looked good, and he didn't look like the already-handsome-professor you had. His hair was more natural, slightly curly, and almost like he had showered and let it messily air dry. The look was perfect on him. Not gonna lie, you were somewhat happy he was here to see how good you looked and part of you really wanted him to crave you until he couldn't take it anymore. You wanted to drive him crazy, and little did you know that you already were. It was a game you didn't mind playing, especially since you knew you couldn't have him.

You shouldn't.

"Ayeeeee! Mr. Kim!" Taehyung's ass yells with Ryujin cheering in the back. He does nothing but flash that smile of his while chuckling. His friends are all really handsome as well, one especially caught your eye with the way his wavy black hair fell down his eyes as he stood against the bar in black ripped jeans and a button up shirt. He seemed to be the youngest out of the group, but you were just assuming.

"Let's take a shot! On me!" Ryujin yells as she runs over with her loud ass. You follow behind her with Taehyung and Jimin, slightly hiding behind Jimin since you were feeling a little shy and awkward at this encounter. The events of the past days just flashed before your eyes, and you can feel Jin's eyes burning holes through you from your peripherals.

"These are your students?" You overhear as one of them looks behind at Jin and laughs.

"Yup." Is all he says, hands deep into his pockets.

"That's her isn't it?" Namjoon says in his ear, loud enough to make sure its clear over the music blasting. Jin simply looks at him without saying a word before returning his attention back on Jungkook, who he noticed was eyeing you. The look said everything to Namjoon.

"Do you know her?" Jungkook points at you and Jin nods.

"Why?"

"Why? She's gorgeous." His eyes light up, causing Namjoon to slightly choke and laugh behind Jin.

"Go for it." Is all Jin says. He's honestly livid right now, because the thought of someone else being able to get a taste of you while he hasn't fucks him up.

"Ohhh, boy." Namjoon sighs. "I hope you're truly over her or else it's going to get really fucked up, you know that right?"

"Don't worry about it." He says, dismissing him as he takes the shot from Yoongi's hand and immediately downs it.

"Hey." The black-haired cutie that caught your eye pushed his way through the group to come into full view. "I'm Jungkook."

"Y/N." You lightly shake his hand before tucking a strand behind your ear.

"I just wanted to say that you're absolutely gorgeous." He says cutely, his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."

"I, uh—"

"It's his 23rd birthday today!" One of the guys against the bar yells, grabbing Jungkook's shoulders and playfully massaging it.

"Yeah, it's his birthday Y/N! Give the boy some love!" Ryujin winked from where she was at.

"Happy Birthday." You chuckled as he nods.

"Thanks. Maybeeeee you can bless me with a dance after this shot?" He asked shyly. Boy, was he fucking attractive. You could see his thighs poking through the rips of his jeans, his sharp collarbone poking out from the unbuttoned portion of his shirt and his arm muscles defined even in the dark.

"Yeah, I'd love to." You leaned back against the bar as he stood next to you, waiting for the round of shots to come. "Are these your friends?" He chuckled.

"More like big brothers? That's Yoongi, that's Hoseok and that's Namjoon. They're Jin's friends. Jin is my stepbrother." You swallowed the lump in your throat as you quickly glance at Jin, who's side-eyeing you as he leans against the bar. You have got to be fucking kidding me. God was truly testing you.

"Ohhhh." You respond. "That's sweet of them to take you out."

"I honestly didn't wanna do much, let alone come to the club. It's not really my thing, but I'm glad I did or else I wouldn't have met you." He smiled, his smile being just as perfect as his stepbrother's.

"I'm glad I could make your birthday a good one after all." Ryujin suddenly comes to your side and gives your arm a good squeeze.

"He's a cutie! You better hop on that since Mr.Kim is taken." She says in your ear, pulling you into a hug.

"That's his stepbrother."

"Even better!" She exclaims, making you shake your head. You all gather and take the last round of shots in honor of Jungkook's birthday and shit gets wild, quick. Your group led them to the dance floor, partying together like you had known them since forever. It didn't feel awkward at all knowing it was Jin and group of friends, but it did get awkward when you felt the tension with Jin every time you were near him. He didn't like seeing you dance all up on his stepbrother, getting all handsy and touchy-feely when just the other night, you were straddling his lap, ready to risk it all.

Hell, what was he gonna do though? He couldn't do shit. Not with his people around, especially Namjoon.

You knew this. He didn't have to say anything for you to know he wasn't a fan of it. You'd catch him looking at you throughout the night, his eyes hungry and almost dark. Let's get this straight - there's no bad blood here. You're not mad or bitter [slightly]. You're just having your fun because you're single and can do whatever the fuck you want. You know he wants you, what's wrong with a little tease?

A couple of songs have passed and Ryujin has made her way through Taehyung, Yoongi and Namjoon, and now she was back to doing her own thing on the dance floor. Jimin has had a couple of ladies welcome themselves onto his lap, and he gladly accepted. You loved seeing Jimin have fun and you especially loved when girls swooned at the sight of him because he was deserving of it and he was mighty good looking. He always worked hard and never gave himself a break.

You, on the other hand, had been stuck to the hip with Jungkook and you had brought him deeper into the dance floor, away from the group just to get a little alone time. You had danced up on him majority of the night, his muscular arms always gently bringing you back against his body. You both were feeling some type of way with the alcohol running through your veins, but you weren't complaining one bit. Alcohol or not, Jungkook was fine.

"So, are you going to let me take you out on a date?" Jungkook asks in your ear, causing you to bite onto your bottom lip.

"I'd love to go out on a date with you." You face him, his smile going from ear to ear as he nods and starts taking down your number. To be honest, you could be here all night with him, but you decided you needed a break from all this dancing and from the crowded dance floor. You quickly excuse yourself to the bathroom, suddenly needing to break the seal really badly and freshen up. As you were exiting the bathroom, Jin was also exiting the men's bathroom at the same time. You both locked eyes, with you breaking the contact with a small, toothless smile before walking off.

"Y/N." He says, gently grabbing your wrist and pulling you back towards him. His body is against the back wall, both of your groups distant and not as visible from where you're standing. He looks down at you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.

"Jin."

"You haven't said one word to me all night."

"I'm trying to keep my distance from you, remember?"

"You know that's not necessary." His hand was now on the small of your back, fingers gently caressing your back in small circles.

"It is. You know what you do to me." You say as you look down at his lips. Truthfully.

"And so do you." You can feel his breath against your skin and it sends goosebumps down your entire body. You're trying your hardest right now to not get turned on by this man, let alone throw yourself onto him. "This isn't fair, you know?"

"I gotta get back to everyone." You say, slightly pulling back.

"Just for the record," He gently pulls you back, his other hand lifting your chin. "Jungkook might have you right now, but I know in the end you'll be coming home to me and that's all that matters." He lets go of your wrist and walks away, leaving you slightly dumbfounded at the way he stood his ground like that. Your panties felt soaked, and you wanted nothing more but to ride this man into the next dimension. He was truly testing you, and quite frankly, you could burst any minute now.

"You okay?" Jimin says, lightly squeezing your arm. "You were gone for awhile."

"Yeah, long line." You lied.

"We're thinking about heading out, you good with that?" You nod silently. You look around to see Ryujin flirting with Yoongi and Namjoon, making you shoot him a look. "Not me, all you. Go get her." He shakes his head, chuckling.

"Alright, I need to say bye to Jungkook anyways."

"Oooh, Jungkook." He wiggles his eyebrows. You make your way over to the area that Jin and his friends are occupying, prying Ryujin's drunk ass away. You give Jungkook a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, letting him know you'd be waiting for his text.

Finally, you all headed out of the club and into Jimin's car, Ryujin being the first drop off of the night. Thank God he had decided to drive, because all three of you were still pretty tipsy and in no condition to get behind the wheel.

"Y/N, listen to me. You need to hop on Jungkook because he's fine as fuck!" Ryujin's drunk ass yells in the backseat as Jimin is making his way to her house.

"Ouch, Ry, stop kicking my chair." Jimin whines.

"Y/N, did you hear me?"

"I hear you loud and clear, Ry. Thank you." You laugh.

"And you, Jimin! I hope you grabbed a ton of numbers because there were tons of pretty ladies feeling you tonight and you need a girl!"

"Perfect, thank you for pointing out how single I am." He says, making Taehyung snorts.

"What about me?"

"Shut up, Tae. You don't need shit. Mind your own business." You and Jimin laugh in your seats.

"Also, Mr. Kim was really eyeing the hell out of you tonight, Y/N." She adds, making you sigh silently to yourself.

"Actually, I concur." Jimin chimes in. "He couldn't keep his eyes off of you."

"Mistress Y/N." Taehyung calls out, causing you to turn and pinch him on the leg. If you haven't gotten it by now, Tae loves to tease the fuck out of you by calling you a mistress. It's been his thing since you got all googly-eyed for him. And you hated it. You truly wanted to fight him every single time.

"It was nothing. He was probably just drunk."

"Sure." Jimin responds. "Call it what you want, he was definitely feeling you tonight." The ride goes silent, which, you're happy that none of them are pressing on it. You were not trying to get caught up at this moment.

Ryujin gets dropped off before Jimin makes his way to your apartment, parking in the yellow passenger/loading zone. Taehyung is knocked out in the back seat, while Jimin throws his hazards on and walks you to the front door of the lobby.

"Thanks for driving, Chim." He smiles and pulls you into a hug.

"No prob. Call me if you need me?" You nod. You walk in and get into the elevator, Jimin and his car disappearing in sight. You take a deep breath and sigh because you had been having an internal battle since the moment you stepped out of the club.

You were losing.

You stepped out of the elevator, only to step into your apartment to quickly freshen up and throw on comfier clothes. You find yourself heading back downstairs to meet your Uber. You knew exactly where you were going and you knew exactly what you were doing.

But you didn't give a fuck. You had been dying to get your needs fulfilled and the only person you wanted was a quick 25 minute Uber trip away.