#father used me as a s/x reliever when i was little

[lovestruckpdf]

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[itgetsdark-x]

I Wanna See You Beggin’

Summary: Joel Miller is your dad’s best friend, you knew it was wrong, you knew it would only cause trouble but you couldn’t help the way you ached for the man. (Title is from I Hate Myself for Loving You — Joan Jett & The Blackhearts) 6.9k words. I’m sorry.

Characters: dbf!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Warnings: 18+ only, no minors as it’s just a big ol’ load of smut… praise kink (use of ‘good girl’ a lot), p in v sex, unprotected (be sensible and wrap before u tap, pls), age gap (reader is mid twenties, Joel would be in his late 40s), use of the word ‘daddy’, oral (f receiving), no outbreak in this au.

A/N: hi guys, I haven’t written smut for years and Joel Miller has me frothing at the mouth and giggling like a little girl with a crush especially dbf!joel… Anyway, if this is enjoyed by people, I have an idea of how I could make this into a series. Please leave me nice comments or catch me crying in a corner somewhere lol

“Dad,” you huffed into the receiver as you held your phone to your ear with your shoulder. “I love you and all but I could think of better ways to spend my Friday night rather than listening to you and Joel argue over which 80’s band is the best.” You chuckled fondly as you carried on typing away at the laptop in front of you whilst you spoke into your phone. 

“Sweetheart, I love spending time with you and Joel, you love him as well! I’ll pay for dinner?” He spoke softly and you smiled as your could hear your dad’s smile down the phone. 

“Fine, what time do you want me round, old man?” You teased fondly. “I finish work at 5 today.”

“6:30pm work okay for you? Don’t forget to bring some beer.” Your dad asked with a smirk. 

You rolled your eyes before responding to him, “Fine, I’ll bring the beers but as soon as you and the other old man start arguing, I’m out!” You laughed. 

“Deal,” your dad agreed. “I’ll see you later my sweet pea, love you!” He hummed and hung up before you could respond. 

“Old men and technology.” You muttered to yourself before taking your phone and opening your messaging app. 

You quickly tapped on the screen and chewed on your lip as you did so. 

‘You need a lift to dad’s later? x’ you hit send and placed your phone down on your desk, returning your attention back to your work laptop. You were in the midst of replying to an email when your phone buzzed on your desk beside you. 

‘Sure thing, peach. See you around 6? :) Xx’

You couldn’t help the way your lips upturned into a smile, and as soon as you caught the reaction you chewed on your bottom lip. You hated the way the older male had such a visceral effect on you, you had known Joel Miller for around ten years now. You moved to the city and your father worked with him, the two of them soon became best buddies which in turn, meant he spent a lot of time around you and your house. When you first met Joel you were a mere sixteen-year old kid, from day one you felt an instant attraction to him, you knew it was wrong but you couldn’t deny it. In the beginning it felt like a harmless, childish crush, one that you were bound to grow out of but things only seemed to get worse the older you got, that attraction burned deep in your veins and any time you spent time with the older man you couldn’t help the way your cheeks burned and your pussy throbbed; there had been many nights where you had dropped him home after visiting your dad and rushed home just so you could relieve your tension. Your fingers buried deep in yourself, moaning Joel’s name as you came around them. 

You felt shameful, dirty and down-right embarrassed about those moments but it didn’t stop you from doing it again, and again.. and again. You knew Joel would never cross that line, never, he was too much of a gentleman and had way too much respect for your old man but that didn’t stop the feelings you had for him.

Your mind was reeling, so much so you barely noticed the way your thighs pressed themselves together searching for some relief to your aching core, you stood from your desk in your room and stretched before you looked at the time on your desktop, it read 4pm. You sighed and went to your kitchen to grab a snack and make yourself a strong coffee, you had an hour left of work before you had to shower and get ready before picking Joel up. 

The last hour of your work felt excruciatingly slow, your mind was busy with thoughts of your evening ahead of you; it was no different to your usual Friday get-together with your dad and his friend but today you couldn’t erase the filthy thoughts of Joel from your mind. You quickly showered, hoping the hot water would wash your mind and body clean, you ignored the burning to urge to relieve some tension and give your body the orgasm and relief it so badly needed. 

After showering you, you applied a light layer of make-up, like usual before pulling your hair up in a half-up and half-down style. You looked into your wardrobe and reached for a plain black tank top, orange plaid over shirt and black tennis skirt; you paired the outfit with your favourite pair of black converse. You put your accessories on; earrings, rings and gave your body a spritz of your favourite perfume. After grabbing the 12-pack of beer from the fridge, you quickly grabbed your phone and keys off the counter and left your apartment to go and pick up Joel. 

You were running a tad late but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, and Joel was always expecting it. You pulled up outside his home, gave a beep of your horn and took a shaky breath in as you saw him lock up and approach your car. Your hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as he climbed into your car and suddenly your senses were attacked with the older male. The small space filled with his heady scent, his aftershave musky, spicy and just Joel. He was wearing dark grey jeans, not too tight but tight enough to appreciate his thick thighs and your eyes couldn’t help but notice his bulge as he walked. Joel was wearing a dark khaki over shirt and a black T-shirt under that went perfectly with his jeans, and of course, he was wearing his trusty dealer boots. 

“Hey peach,” he spoke and leant over to press a kiss to the side of your head. It was something he had done for years, only now, you craved to feel his lips elsewhere. 

“Hey old man.” You grinned and started your car once more. 

The journey to your father’s house was short, only about twenty minutes; it was annoying that he didn’t live in the same neighbourhood as it always meant you or, on occasion, Joel had to drive. It was a comfortable journey as the two of you spoke about your respective day’s and week’s. 

“So you’re not hanging out with that guy again tonight, oh, what was his name!?” Joel questioned, searching his brain for the name. “Derek? No, no, he definitely seemed like a George!” He laughed, his hands resting comfortably on his thigh, you couldn’t help the way your eyes glanced down at his large digits. 

“His name was Ben, and you know that, Joel. You’re just being a dick.” You shook your head quickly with a laugh. “And nope, dad had other ideas for me… clearly babysitting duties. I would much prefer to be out with Ben but here we are…” You said softly with a roll of your eyes, it was a lie, of course. You would happily spend every waking moment with Joel, if he let you, exploring his body, sharing your thoughts with one another. 

His hand tensed on his thigh, it was brief and barely noticeable but you did notice it; that was… weird? You shook off the feeling and parked up outside your dad’s apartment block. 

“Anyway, I love babysitting you old men. It’s cute. Great practice for when I actually want kids.” You laughed, turning off the ignition and climbing out of your car. “And, I’ve warned dad, slightest hint of bickering between you two and I am out. Gone. Done. You can walk home.” As you spoke, you bent over to reach into the back seat of your car to grab the beers, one leg slightly lifted as your body struggled slightly to pull them closer; you hadn’t given the motion much thought, especially in your outfit.

Joel moved until he was stood behind you, he cleared his throat and looked away sheepishly after catching a glimpse of your black, lace panties. His hand rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. “Uh hon, you might want me to grab those? Gonna give someone a heart attack if they see you like that.” His voice was soft as he spoke, still not making eye contact with you. 

“Shit. Sorry, Joel.” You cursed, your cheeks flushed red as you watched the dark haired man grab the beers and you smoothed out your skirt.

The rest of the evening played out like usual; your dad and Joel had a few beers each, you allowed yourself to have one as you were driving and you all ate way too much Chinese take-out. It was getting late, you were laid out on your dad’s couch, your legs swung over your dad’s lap, Joel was sat in the lazy-boy across the room, his legs sprawled wide. This was always part of the routine, you would all catch up on your week’s complain about work, talk about sport’s games that had happened or were about to occur, it was familiar and safe. 

“So get this, bud,” Joel spoke, his voice breaking the noise of whatever Depeche Mode record they had put on the player. “Y/N over here was saying she would have preferred to have hung out with that douche, Ben, we met last month. Can you believe that?” He looked over at you, smirking as he took a swig of his beer. 

“Dick,” you mouthed over to him and let your head hang back onto the arm of the sofa. 

Your dad opened his eyes and looked over at you. “Is that right, sweet pea? You don’t wanna hang out with your favourite ‘old men’?! I’m truly offended.” He laughed, closing his eyes again, feigning hurt. 

“Joel is just bitter I have a better love life and sex life than him.” You shot back, immaturely sticking your tongue out at the other male. 

“Gross! Dad in the room!” Your dad grimaced, watching his hands in front of his face. “You’re my little girl, I don’t wanna hear about you having sex.”

“Hey — that’s not even true, I have sex… plenty of it…” Joel huffed, trying to sound convincing as he lied through his teeth. In truth, Joel never really had an interest in the women he had met, sure he took a few women home from bar to sleep with them but after he lost his wife and child, Sarah, he never really had it in him to give dating a proper go. 

“Sureeee you do,” you giggled, causing your dad to let out a loud laugh.

You all laid about a bit longer, listening to music and joking around before you sat up and stretched your back out, causing your tank top to rise, showing a small sliver of soft skin to show. There it was again, Joel’s hand tensed in place and it was almost as if his jaw clenched down. You were sure you were imagining these things, like usual so you pushed yourself off the sofa and smoothed your clothes out. 

“Right, pop’s I better get old man Miller home before I pass out here. I’m shattered.” You yawned, reinforcing your previous sentence. 

After saying your goodbyes you walked back to your parked car, the cool chill of the late-night air made your skin prick up with goosebumps and sent a small shiver down your spine. 

Joel and you walked in silence, the silence remained as you started your car and cranked the heating up.

“Dick move, bringing up Ben to my dad by the way, Miller. Real dick move.” You spoke, your voice seeming loud in the confined and silent space, just the low thrum of your car’s air vents trying to clear the windows and fill the air with warmth.

“Ha, sorry, Peach. Couldn’t resist it. Was right there for me to tease you with.” He laughed lowly, bringing his hands up to blow some warmth into them. There it was again, that nickname, every time it rolled off his tongue it sent warmth straight to your core. 

“My dad doesn’t need to know what I would rather be doing on a Friday night, or rather who I would rather be doing.” You huffed.

“I wouldn’t go around proclaiming that sorta thing, especially round your pops. I’m sure he wouldn’t wanna hear how corrupt his good girl truly is.” Joel hummed, his finger tapping on his thigh as you began driving. 

‘Good girl’, it rolled off his tongue so effortlessly yet it sent sparks straight to your core, as you drove you shift in your seat and pressed your thighs together. 

“I — I uh, I’m an adult, Joel. I’m a fully grown woman, incase you haven’t noticed. I have needs and wants.” You argued, trying to remain confident in your words. 

“Needs… and wants, huh?” He laughed, raising an eyebrow at you. “Is that why I see you practically drooling every time you see me? Now would you say that’s a need or a want?” Joel asked, his voice low and sultry.

Your mouth dried up instantly, voice getting stuck in your throat as you tried to protest. “I — I do not.” You protested, your voice coming out as a mere squeak.

“Oh peach, I see the way you press your thighs together. So needy for me? Hmm.” He hummed, his hand reaching over to touch your bare thigh. “I’ve seen the way you shift in your seat when I spread my legs in the arm chair or when you catch a short glimpse of my bulge. I’ve seen it all, no need to hide it.” His fingers were barely touching you, ghost-like touches on your skin. It was a risky move, he knew that and he knew you could quite easily pull the car over, kick him out and tell your dad what he had done. It could ruin his only true, pure friendship if your dad found out. But Joel was also sure he had calculated this properly, he had seen you for the past couple years and your minuscule reactions only seemed to ramp up the older you had been getting. 

Your breath hitched harshly in your throat as you tried to concentrate on the road ahead of you but your mind was swimming with Joel once again, his fingers lightly traced patterns on your inner thigh and all you could do was whimper pathetically under his touch. 

“J-joel,” you whined. “Please don’t tease me, I’ll crash the fuckin’ car if you play like that.”

“Oh little girl, I’ve barely placed a hand on you and you’re already whimpering for me? Quite cute really.” He said, his voice seeming deeper than usual; he splayed his hand across the skin of your inner thigh and gripped it tightly. 

You forced your eyes open as you continued to drive, you weren’t sure if you were doing the speed limits or what, all you could think about was the large hand that was so close, yet not nearly close enough to where you needed it the most. You could feel how wet you were already, you had been a mess all evening but now you could physically feel your arousal collecting in your lace panties. 

“You reckon your ol’ man knows how needy you are for me? Your dad’s best friend. Oh peach, what a mess.” He continued, he had moved closer to you now, reaching over the centre console of your car, his breath fanning out over your neck. 

“J-Joel, I’m serious. I’ll crash if you carry on like that. Not funny.” You whined, trying to press your legs together again but feeling resistance in the form of Joel’s hand. 

“Tsk tsk tsk,” Joel tutted. “What are you trying to do there, darlin’?” He laughed, letting his pinky drift closer to your clothed cunt just barely brushing the fabric. 

You whined again, just a small noise from the back of your throat and pulled the car over, from what you could tell you were a few streets away from Joel’s house; the suburban area was dimly lit with few lights and no people walking around, especially not this late anyway. You pushed your car into park, turned off the lights and engine and looked at the older male for a moment, your lips wet and cheeks flushed. 

“Joel…” you started. “Y-you don’t have to do this, I know I’m not your type and I’m sure you’re just trying to play a bit of a joke on me. We should get you home and forget about all of this…” Your breath was shaky, you hoped to every god out there that Joel would continue but you wanted him to know he didn’t have to humour your silly feelings. 

“You don’t think I want this?” Joel asked, his face close to yours, hand still pressed teasingly to your thigh. “I’ve noticed recently, the way you react to me and tonight, w-when you were bent over. Took everything in me to not pull those little panties aside and bury myself deep in that little cunt right there in the middle of the street.” His voice sounded near animalistic as he finished that sentence and your cheeks burned a deep, cherry red as he finished speaking. 

“I didn’t mean to do that, didn’t really think.” You mumbled, looking past him to stare out the window. 

“Shh,” Joel hummed, he leant forward and placed a kiss to your lips with his hand still stroking soft patterns into your inner thigh. 

You sighed contentedly into the kiss, finally experiencing what you had craved for years, your hand snaked up to hold Joel’s face as you deepened the kiss; hungry to taste more of the man. Joel tasted like smoke faintly, salty from the foods you had eaten and there was the distinct taste of hops from the beer he had drank. Your fingers intertwined into his greying hair and you gave it a testing tug; Joel groaned and allowed his tongue to swipe across your bottom lip. Eagerly, you opened your mouth and urged the kiss to be deepened, taking as much of him in as you could in that moment. 

Joel saw this as his opportunity to advance his hand, he slipped his fingers under the hem of your skirt and let them stroke across the damp fabric of your panties. You whimpered into the kiss, your hips bucked forward searching for further contact. He couldn’t help but smile at how undone you were already. Joel teased his fingers across the waistband of the lace fabric of your panties, teasingly slow, just as you were about to pull away from the kiss and protest he allowed two fingers to slip into your wet folds and agonisingly slowly circle your swollen clit. 

“Fuck,” he growled lowly. “So fuckin’ wet for me already, darlin’?”

You nodded, gripping at Joel’s forearm as he started to rhythmically circle and play with your clit. He was right, you were near sopping as he slipped through your folds. 

“Wanted this for s-so long,” you whimpered. You couldn’t quite believe this was real, you were almost convinced you would wake up any moment, sprawled out on your bed with your fingers deep inside of yourself and not actually in your car, with Joel Miller’s fingers close to making you cum already. 

“Yeah?” Joel asked, his fingers speeding up. “Wanted to feel my fingers on your wet pussy, making you feel good? Huh? How does it feel to have my fingers finally in you?” Joel spoke, his voice a low huff as his fingers worked quickly. 

“So. Good.” You moaned, the noise low and breathy. “Feels so good. I’m going to cum. Please.”  

Joel groaned, he still couldn’t believe this was happening to him. Since you started maturing over the past couple of years he had thought so many times about how much he would love to corrupt you; to have his fingers, mouth and cock making you fall apart at the seams. Just anything to make you feel good. 

“That’s it, atta girl. Cum for me, good girl.” Joel whispered, his lips ghosting over your ear as he sunk a digit into you abruptly and let his palm bump up against your clit.

That was it, the white hot, searing heat in your stomach erupted and your eyes screwed themself shut so tight you saw white patterns dancing behind your eyelids. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip so hard the familiar metallic tang flooded your mouth, anything to stop you from alerting the neighbourhood with your screams. If that You that wasn’t just the best orgasm of your life, you would have been slightly embarrassed at quickly he had made you cum. 

Joel barely moved his finger in you, just circled it slightly but his palm nudged your clit as he worked your through your orgasm and it made you whimper loudly, your body flinching with over sensitivity. He took the hint and removed his hand from your wrecked panties and brought it up to his mouth, sucking his digits to clean them from your juices. 

“Taste so sweet, just like a peach.” He groaned, his fingers popping from his mouth, the noise startling you from your orgasmic comedown. There it was again, your nickname but now it just sounded sinful and you knew going forward, you wouldn’t be able to hear it without getting wet and embarrassed. 

When you finally regained some composure, you looked at Joel; your lips were swollen and red and your cheeks had a light flush settled on them. He smiled, thinking you were truly the most perfect sight he had ever seen. Your hand reached over to his lap, you had a hunger and needed to curb the insatiable need for his cock. Your small hand palmed him through his jeans, he was rock hard and fuck, he was big. You swallowed, almost nervously at the thought of his large cock stretching your tight hole out. Of course you had slept with people, you weren’t a virgin but your previous boyfriend was nowhere near that big and he definitely couldn’t make you come that hard, even on his best days. You gently squeezed at his length, stroking him through the rough fabric. 

“Not here, darlin’. How about we go back to mine so I can properly appreciate you?” He asked, and just as you opened your mouth to protest saying you wanted him right there and now he spoke once more. “I’ll drive, dunno if you can drive properly after that, little girl. I saw how hard you came on my fingers, now imagine how hard you could cum on my cock.”

Your whole body shuddered involuntarily, never in all your years of knowing Joel had you heard such filthy things from his mouth; he had always been the perfect Southern gentleman. You were soon pulled out of your thoughts by Joel opening your car door. 

“Shuffle over.” He commanded. 

You nodded dumbly and did as you were told. Joel swiftly started the car and continued the drive back to his, it barely took ten minutes but every minute felt like torture; your mouth watered at the thought of Joel filling your holes, using you how he pleased, your core ached with the need to be full of Joel again. 

Once the car was parked, Joel hopped out and was once again opening your door for you, you exited the car and grimaced at the cool air hitting your skin. You felt Joel’s hand on the small of your back, guiding you into his home, a place you had been hundred’s of times before but this time you felt nervous. 

He opened his front door for you and you walked in, just as you were about to turn and speak to the male he was holding your hips in his large hands and pressing your smaller frame against the wall. His lips were on yours and starting a bruising kiss, once again your hands found their way into his hair and you moaned softly. You wanted to be stuck like this forever, with his soft lips on yours and his rough facial hair scratching your skin slightly reminding you exactly who was kissing you. 

“Please don’t tease, I just want you so badly Joel. I have for years, b-been thinking about your cock filling me up for years.” You whined, sounding like a petulant child. 

“And I’ll be fillin’ you up real soon, sweet girl. But how about I make you feel good again, yeah? You think you can be good for me and cum again, I wanna truly taste how sweet you are, sugar.” He growled, his lips trailing rough kisses down your neck. God how he wished he could mark you up, head to toe, just so people would know you were all his.

Your knees buckled, and your body fell against Joel’s slightly, causing him to laugh breathily; no woman had ever reacted like that to him before, let alone just his words but then again, no woman was like you. He took you by the hand and led you up to his room, you couldn’t help but take in your surroundings, you had been in Joel’s room a couple times before but you had never noticed just how much it smelt like him. 

“How about we get you nice and comfortable, let’s get those clothes off you. Can’t wait to see your body.” He started by pushing your plaid shirt off your shoulders, throwing it over to the side; the heavy fabric landed with a dull thud onto his wooden floor and with that he swiftly removed your tank top. Somewhere along the way you had both kicked your shoes off but your brain was too murky to fully register it. 

Joel’s rough hands slid up your sides, he was drinking in every inch of your curves and soft skin; in the wake of his hands your skin was freckled with goosebumps. 

“So beautiful,” he breathed, a dim light casting beautiful shadows over his face. You felt embarrassed as his eyes fully drank in your form. “May I?” He asked, voice soft and smooth like honey, his hands were at the clasp of your bra and you simply nodded. It seemed like a trivial thing to ask permission for considering less than thirty minutes ago you were cumming around his fingers. 

He removed your bra, your perky breasts bounced ever so as the supportive fabric was gone. Your nipples hardened as the cool air hit them, pulling the sensitive skin tight. Joel could have devoured you whole, right there and then. His large, calloused hands came up to hold your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your nipples almost in a testing fashion. He did it again when it elicited a moan from your throat, he pinched the sensitive buds and your back arched towards him. 

“Joel, I can’t take it. Please.” You whined, his touches were entirely too much yet not enough all at once. It was your own form of perfect torture. 

The older male was loving this, watching your eager reactions as he toyed with your body, his cock was hard and leaking in his jeans and he couldn’t wait to be inside of you. 

“Be patient, darlin’. We have all night.” He smirked, slowly sinking to his knees in front of you. 

His rough hands begrudgingly left the peaks of your breasts and worked their way down to the zip of your tennis skirt, he unzipped the fabric causing it to fall to the floor. You took the cue and kicked it to side, out of the way. Joel’s fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties once more and slid them down your legs, you rested onto his shoulder and stepped out of them, just before you could kick them to the side, he was bunching them up and shoving them into his back pocket. 

This man — he would be the death of you, you just knew it. 

You were about to make a comment and protest but Joel was stood once again and gently pushing you back onto the bed behind you; you fell onto the plush mattress with ease, your thighs falling open without being asked to do so. You felt exposed, vulnerable but above all else, you felt needy. 

“Good girl, without even being told to lie like that. Such a beautiful girl.” He remarked, pulling his shirt over his head and slipping his jeans from his thick thighs. 

You rested up on your elbows to peer at Joel as he undressed and your throat tightened, all the air in the room seeming to have evaporated immediately. He was beautiful, all harsh lines to the outside world but in the glow of his bedroom now, he looked soft and warm. You were in deep, and you knew it meant deep trouble. 

He palmed himself through his boxers just to stave off some of the throbbing and your eyes followed eagerly, the thick outline of his cock making your walls clench around nothing. Wordlessly Joel knelt at the end of the bed, latched his hands onto your thighs and pulled you closer so you could feel his hot breath fanning over your sopping folds. Your hips bucked into thin air, nothing there to help you and he laughed, it was quiet and breathy but he definitely laughed — fucker.

Joel trailed two fingers through your folds, collecting your arousal on them once again and without warning he plunged them into you roughly. You gasped, your back arched off the bed and your fists balled into the sheets either side of yourself. His fingers were so thick, so much thicker than any man you had been with before; you weren’t sure whether that was down to the age difference or just Joel’s build. He slowly pumped his fingers in and out rhythmically, building speed and curling them so they brushed that perfect, sensitive spot inside of you. 

Your mouth was agape as you laid there, completely at his will, writhing under his relentless touch. Moan after moan, after moan spilled from your parted lips and just as you felt the tension tighten in your stomach Joel lapped his tongue of your clit. Your back arched and the filthiest moan escaped your mouth, you weren’t even sure how that noise had come from you but it had and it had Joel smirking as his tongue swiped through your folds again just to circle around your clit once more. 

Your hand laced its way into Joel’s hair, your fingers gripping the strands with a deathly vice and he groaned into your pussy causing vibrations to ripple through you. You weren’t sure how you were still holding on but your stomach was twisting, tightening and bubbling as your orgasm approached once again. 

“Mmm, good girl.” He praised as your walls clenched around his fingers as he continued to pump them into your wet heat. The room was filled with obscenely filthy noises; your moans echoed throughout the empty space as Joel slurped up your juices. 

“Joel —“ you sobbed, your back arching impossibly high off the mattress below you. “C-can I cum? Please. Need it.” You asked pathetically.

Why were you asking permission?

Never before had you felt so submissive for a partner in bed, never once had you asked permission to cum, no, normally you would be chasing your high, just trying to grasp at a fraction of how good Joel was making you feel. 

“That’s it baby, such a good girl for asking permission. Wanna make you feel as good as I can, peach.” He groaned in between pleasuring you. “Cum all over my face, wanna taste as much as I can.”

That was it, the coil in your stomach snapped abruptly and you were gushing onto Joel’s fingers, a pleasured scream tumbling from your lips. Never, not once had you squirted before, yet here you were, soaking the sheets beneath you and in turn, Joel’s beard and your own thighs. You would have felt ashamed if you didn’t feel such pure euphoria in the moment. Your back was twisted and contorted off the sheets as Joel worked you through it, making you squirt further.

He could have cum in his boxers, like a teenager as the first drops of your orgasm hit his face. He lapped up as much of you as he could, like a man who had been starved for years. And he had, he had been starved from allowing himself to have this moment with you and now he had you, he wanted to savour and devour you as much as you would allow him to. 

“Joel,” you whimpered, your thighs trapping his head. “C-can’t do it anymore!” You sounded wrecked, your throat felt raw from how loudly you had been moaning. 

Joel laughed, pushed your thighs apart and removed his fingers from you. You winced and your walls clenched around air, feeling so empty once again. 

“Please, p-please can I have you now?” You asked, positioning yourself on your knees in front of Joel. You reached your hand to feel his hard cock through his boxers once again and this time, he didn’t stop you. 

You abruptly pulled the checkered fabric from his waist and his boxers pooled at his feet; freeing his cock finally, it sprang up against his stomach and you all but moaned. 

“You’re so…” you whispered, looking up at Joel through your lashes as your small hand wrapped around his thick length. The tip was dark, a bead of pre-cum glistened at the slit and all you wanted was to taste it, to taste Joel’s musk. “You’re so big, fuck.” You cursed, your tongue sticking out to kitten lick at his tip. 

You wanted to sink your mouth down his length to fully take him in so your nose could bury into Joel’s thatch of dark hair but you resisted and gave him another lick, tongue flicking into his slit.

Joel groaned, a low and gruff noise from the back of his throat. “Fuck, darlin’, I gotta be in you. None of this.” He spoke lowly, his thumb coming down to swipe along your bottom lip and you quickly sucked it into his mouth. 

“Please, daddy.” You whispered, the honorific slipping from your throat before you could process it. A look of horror washed over your features and you knelt up higher to look Joel in the eyes. “I — I, — sorry. I didn’t mean —“

Your fumbling words were cut off when Joel placed his big hand around your throat and brought you in for a kiss. You were trouble, you were sinful and he was damned. He had been called daddy a few times by younger women, they thought it was sexy; the way they would flutter their lashes at him at the bar, saunter over to him and whisper ‘hey daddy.’ Normally it made his skin crawl and caused his body to cringe but the way it almost innocently slipped from your lips, it was like a curse from the devil himself and it made Joel’s cock jump, nudging your stomach. 

He squeezed his hand around your throat and you smiled? Trouble. Nothing but pure trouble. 

“Not such a good girl, after all, huh? Been acting all innocent all these years.” He whispered, his thumbs squeezing near your pulse point, hard enough to make your head feel lighter and floaty but soft enough not to hurt you deliberately. “God, what would your old man say about this? See his little girl begging to cum, see you squirting on his best friend’s face. Smiling as I wrap a hand round your throat. Your trouble, darlin’. Nothin’ but damn trouble.” He whispered, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip before peppering small nips to the flesh of your neck. 

Your legs trembled as they held you up, it was wrong but his words went straight to your core and soaked you further, you didn’t think your arousal could get higher but here you were. He was right though; your dad would be horrified, would be downright mortified to know what his daughter was truly like and at the hands of his best friend? That would destroy your lives. All three of you. You pushed that bitter thought away as your head lulled back and you allowed Joel to grope at your chest, hungry to feel your body once more. 

“Say it again,” he growled into your ear as he pushed your body back down onto the bed. “Call me it again as I fuck you real good. How ‘bout I show you what it’s like to have a real man fuck you, not some silly boy.” He said, his voice gruff whilst he stroked the tip of his cock through your folds. 

“Daddy,” you whimpered, parting your legs further to allow Joel more room to enter you. “Daddy please fuck me.” You begged, sounding weak. 

“Oh, of course, baby girl.” He cooed, pushing his cock into you roughly until he was bottomed out. “Fuck,” he cursed. 

“S-so big, daddy.” You whimpered, your hands grasping at Joel’s biceps, just trying to hold onto something as you adjusted to the slight burn of him stretching you out. “Mmm, please move.” You moaned. 

“Atta girl, taking daddy’s cock so good already.” Joel groaned and he swore that he saw heaven in that moment; your tight body below him, contorting to how he needed. He had already built up a punishing pace, hips drawing back to slam forward roughly. The room was filled with echoes of your skin slapping together, his deep pants and your wanton moans and weak, pleading whimpers. 

“I’ve wanted this for s’long,” you sobbed, your eyes falling shut as the tension built further in your stomach once more. You knew from this point forward you would be wrecked for any other man, no one would be able to make you feel this good. Not even close. “T-touched myself so many times thinking about you fucking me.” You admitted, the words falling without thought. “Want you to cum in me, wanna be full of just you, Joel.” You moaned. 

Joel was a goner, he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer, you were too tight, too wet and just too good for him to have any real stamina. Your admission didn’t help matters, either. The thought of you spread out on your own sheets, touching yourself to him?!

He gripped one of your hips tightly, hard enough to leave bruises on your delicate skin as he fucked into you harder with deep groans. “Can’t be saying that to me, peach. Gonna cum too quickly.” He hissed, his free hand snaking between you to trace circles around your clit. 

“I c-can’t do it again,” you stuttered, your body burning from the inside and out. “Too much.” You breathed, your sharp nails clawing at any bare skin you could find. Just anything to anchor you down as Joel pulled another orgasm from you. 

“I think you can. Hmm?” Joel spoke. “What you think? Wanna be a real good girl for daddy and give me one more?” His thumb sped up but his hips slowed to a sensual roll, his cock head bumping the electrified bundle of nerves deep in your walls. You clenched around him tightly and he moaned, louder than before. “That’s it, baby. That’s it. One more, come on now. Come on.” He groaned, working your clit faster. 

You whined, the noise stuck in your throat as your back arched once more and you clenched around Joel before gushing around him with a moan of his name. “Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel, J—.” Your eyes had rolled back, any further and they would have disappeared into the back of your skull.

“Such a good girl, fuck. So tight. That’s it, squirt on my cock.” He groaned, removing his hand from your clit to hold down both your hips as he fucked into you with more fervour. He wasn’t going to last long, but he also knew you couldn’t take much more. You were cock drunk and spent. “Gonna fill you up so. fuckin’. good.” He huffed, accentuating each word with a thrust. 

“Daddy,” you cried, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your body went into overdrive. 

That was it, that’s all it took. Joel looked down at you, your were a mess and all from him, tears fell onto your cheeks as he finished inside of you with a groan of your name. “Shhh, that’s it sweet girl. Such a good girl.” He cooed, his hand cupping your cheek as he emptied himself into you. 

You moaned, feeling the hot liquid of his cum fill you up, your walls clenched weakly, just trying to milk him of every drop and you turned to kiss his hand. The room smelt of sex, the air was thick and hot and sleep called to you like a sweet song. 

Joel pulled out of you with a hiss and you whimpered, your body felt like there were a hundred tiny pin pricks on your skin. You were overstimulated and completely spent but ultimately, you were so happy. 

“Hmmm, m’sleepy.” You hummed contentedly.

“I know, sweet girl but can’t sleep here. The sheets are a mess. How about you have a rest in the spare room and I’ll go sleep on the couch?” He asked softly, brushing your sweat-dampened hair from your face. 

“Sorry about the sheets,” You giggled, eyes heavy-lidded and barely open. “Although, was kinda your fault. You’re a dirty old man, too good at that.” You teased, still giggling. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going to hell.” He huffed, his voice all too serious. 

Joel scooped your naked body off his bed with a gruff noise and before you knew it, you were in another bed with the duvet wrapped around you. Joel had cleaned you up with a damp towel, dressed you in one of his shirts and wrapped you up into the sheets. 

“Stay with me,” you whispered as Joel turned to walk out, assuming you had already passed out for the night. “P-please stay with me.” You cried, tears filling your eyes. 

He smiled and obliged with no arguments. The mattress dipped beside you and he wrapped his large arms around your waist, pulling you close.

“Of course I’ll stay, peach.” He whispered and pressed a kiss to your temple.

You hummed sleepily, your eyes already closed and you felt peaceful. It was the most peaceful you had felt in a long time. Joel was there, you finally felt content and safe in his arms. You knew trouble was brewing on the horizon but right there, in that moment, you couldn’t find it in you to actually care.

Everything felt like it was too much, of course your fantasy came true but what did this mean for your futures? You only assumed it would be messy and all too hard on you both. 

You drifted off to sleep peacefully that night, the most peaceful you had been in far too long. Your senses screamed Joel and you felt safe. You knew trouble was brewing on the horizon but for now, you were content and happy.

——————————

——————————

[rayassecretlife]

Pain reliever

Pairing: Aged up!Neteyam Sully (19) x Fem!human!Reader (18)

Summary: Your on your first day of your period and when Neteyam catches on to your painful suffering, he doesn’t stop until he finds out a way to make you feel better.

Warning(s): Mature language, Period!unprotected!p in v, blood, unprotected p in v, Slight praise kink, best friends!Angst!smut

Most people would think being a human on Pandora would be interesting, and they were right… except when you have human needs and problems that the Na’vi don’t know how to handle. Sometimes it was food, or when you need ibuprofen, but this time it was your menstrual cycle.

Your period came once a month and usually you’d go to the lab for everything you needed like medicine and pads, but even medicine wasn’t helping these cramps. Your father had recommended you some things but you had already tried everything; exercise, heating pads, medicine, etc. nothing was helping. So here you were, laid curled up in a ball inside your bed.

You prayed to eywa they stopped. You had a dinner not too long from now with the sully family and your father that you did not want to miss. Though, You didn’t know if you could hold your painful cries any longer.

“Y/N?” The sudden knock at your wooden hut’s door makes you jump, releasing your legs from the curled ball you had put yourself in. You hoped it had been your father but to your surprise, a different large Na’vi male voice was easy to recognize and you quickly shuffled around so he wouldn’t see anything when he walked in, but you had little time till he entered your room.

“Neteyam! What are you, uh… what are you doing here?” You can feel your stomach cramping horribly but you fought it off, giving the boy a straight face as he approached you.

“Wanted to make sure you were coming tonight. My mother is making your favorite” His deep, accented voice informs you, sitting down on your floor to which now he was only two inches shorter then you when you were on your bed. “Are you alright? You look pale” He goes to reach for your head but you quickly shake him off, telling him you were fine.

“I’m just tired, That’s all” Hmm, he doesn’t believe you not one bit. He’s staring you down like he’s studying your frame, trying to find the source of injury. He could smell your pain, and something else he couldn’t quite make out. “What are you-“ He shushes you as he stands up, sitting next to you on your bed that surprising didn’t break due to his large figure. He finally could smell it.

Blood.

“You are bleeding, Y/N! Where! I will take you to the lab or grandmother and-“

“No!” You cover his mouth, ceasing his worried words. The boy looks at your with wide eyes, batting his ears down as you remove your hand with a sigh. “I’m… you know how Na’vi woman have heats?” He nods his head in confusion, eyes still scattering your body to find the source of your bleeding. “Woman who are human have something like that too, except it doesn’t work the same way a heat does”

“What are you saying? A heat doesn’t make you bleed-“

“Let me finish, Tey” He sighs and nods once again, showing you his full attention. “It’s called a period and it’s… it’s basically a menstrual cycle that makes us bleed but it comes from inside, nobody hurt me” You reassure the boy but he’s still confused, he can feel your pain and definitely smell your blood, so how were you not hurt?

“But you are in pain. I-I can feel it! Don’t lie to me”

“Yes because periods also cause cramping in your stomach, and it hurts. I’ve been trying for hours to make them go away but nothing is working” Your hand is clasp around your stomach and Neteyam doesn’t miss the way your face contorts with a hiss. It was clear you were in pain.

“How can I help? I do not want you to be in pain” His voice is full of worry as he scoots closer to you, ignoring your protests as he lays his large hand on your stomach. Neteyam was so clueless when it came to human biology and it was the cutest thing ever, but right now you didn’t feel like explaining it.

“There’s nothing you can do, Tey. I’ve done all I know, I think I just need a long bath before dinner” You sigh defeatedly but he refuses to let up, shaking his head at your answer.

“There is a way, I know there is—I just have to-“

“That’s sweet, Neteyam, but I-“

“Let me help you, Y/N” His eyes are soft as they stare into your own and in that moment, you knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He hated when you were in pain and if there was one thing Neteyam stood by, it was that there was always a way to relieve it. “Go take a bath, I’ll um… I’ll go get some of your favorite fruits! Yeah, and some of that calming essential oil my grandmother has” His words were adorable, the way his tail swung when you smiled, and how determined he was to make you feel better.

“Okay, Tey” you finally give in making him smile, standing to his feet and he grabbed hold of your hand, helping you to stand up which made you laugh. “I don’t need—actually” A small smirk appeared on your lips before looking up at the Na’vi boy. If he was going to do this, you might as well play along, right? “Carry me to the pond?” You ask with confidence but slight hesitation. You and Neteyam had never been so close before but you found it nice that someone was taking care of you, especially him.

Who knows? Maybe this could be fun.

————

“Norm! My man, I need your help with something” The avatar’s and humans were shocked to see Neteyam none the less, he never came to the lab. It was known that neteyam did not like humans, and you had been the only one he truly never despised. Your father appeared out of one of the rooms almost instantly to tend to the oldest sully boy, removing his ear piece.

“That you, Neteyam? I must be dreaming” He grabs his hand, pulling him into a firm but quick hug, both of them pulling away with a laugh. “What did you need? You never come here” like I said, it wasn’t a secret Neteyam didn’t like humans, that’s the exact reason he never came to the lab. He was just like his mother after all.

“Could I use one of your computers? I just need to look up a few things” Norm furrowed his eyebrows at the question but brushed it off due to Neteyam’s straight expression, not wanting to explain the situation to him.

“Follow me” The two make their way to one of the rooms that had been filled with computers, an empty and quiet room since others would get suspicious if they saw him on the monitors. “Don’t mess with anything. They’ll kick my ass if you break something” Norm informs the oldest sully boy and they both laugh, neteyam watching as the avatar left the room before opening the computer.

“Alright, let’s see…” He opens the browser, searching for what helps with a period cycle. It would have made other men laugh but Neteyam was rather intrigued, reading all the symptoms you could have. He felt horrible that you were experiencing so much pain, his heart felt for you. “Exercise, medicine, heating pads… she’s tried all of these!” He groans, clicking on the link, but it was then, he saw the only other thing he would be able to do. “Intercourse…”

He was taken aback by the sudden change in topic, would that even be possible? Neteyam wanted to help you so horribly that he was questioning whether or not it was even safe. You were human and he was Na’vi, would it even work? He was much more bigger then you, your body was so small compared to his own, wouldn’t he break you?

Would you even… want to do that with him? It would just be a friend helping a friend… right?

He wanted to ask norm, truth be told—but he knew he couldn’t ask him that, especially about his own daughter. You were an innocent girl and Neteyam was on the fence about ruining that. He didn’t want to corrupt you in any way, he just wanted to help relieve your pain.

Don’t be mistaken, Neteyam has had the biggest crush on you for as long as he could remember but you were human—or at least half. You were the first child that was mixed with Na’vi and human through reproduction, and most of the clan didn’t even know what to call you. Neteyam always struggled with this fact because even though you could breath their air and had some of their skills, your body was still human, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to mate with you, or even be accepted by his clan. Your love was forbidden.

But he always wanted to know if you felt the same way, or how far he’d go to show you how he felt.

That’s exactly what he planned to do, that was the only thing he could do. “Y/N?” His voice is soft but questioning as he knocks on the door to your hut, not hearing a response from the inside. He could smell your scent so closely though, almost as if you had been right behind him—but when he heard your soft hums behind the hut, he knew exactly where you were.

The splashing sound of the water fall slightly covered your hums, but he could make out your figure from behind the water, laughing to himself as he watched you dance. You were standing behind the waterfall, inside the cave that was also filled with water like a private jacuzzi. For you, the water had been at your shoulders but for Neteyam, it only sat level with his waist.

His ears are too busy listening to your voice to notice he had been walking into the water, making his way toward you like a fisherman under a sirens call. What he was about to ask scared him so much, but he also could stop himself. Maybe it was time he came clean.

He entered the cave without alerting you, watching as your bare back flexed when you ran your hands over your body. Your back was turned to him with your long hair flowing down it, voice echoing through the cave like a beautiful song. He could make out the outline of your chest and it almost made him choke, he felt so wrong for walking in on you but how could he stop himself? You were so irresistible.

“Y/N” you gasp and quickly lower yourself into the water, turning toward the tall boy with hesitancy. How long had he been standing there? Did he see anything? “Sorry for scaring you I, uh… I was looking for you and-“

“It’s okay, Teyam. What’s wrong? You look nervous?” Your eyes are big looking up at him, genuinely worried but he only found it attractive, as if your eyes could talk. His bioluminescent freckles are slowly peaking through their glow which makes your heart thump; he always looked so pretty like this. You watch as he lowers himself in the water to his knees, making his way over to you. His face was only a few inches taller then your own now, but he had been so close to you, you knew if he reached up he would touch your bare body in an instant. “Nete…?”

He wasn’t scaring you, but he was definitely making your nervous. His eyes scanned every detail of your face, and you worried he might’ve been mad at you or something with his lack of expression.

“I went to the lab” He finally spoke, clearly his throat with a sigh. “I found out another way you could feel better…” You cock your head slightly but smile realizing how nervous he had been. He went to the lab for you? “I know I should’ve asked you first but I just want to help you, Y/N. I… I don’t want you to be in pain”

You smile, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear before shaking your head. “No, no. I think it’s cute, You know. That you went there for me and all. I know you don’t like humans” He scoffs out a chuckle making both of you laugh, nodding his head. “What did you find out?” You question but only watch how his body tenses up, almost as if he had been afraid to tell you. “Oh come on, you didn’t go for nothing”

You don’t fail to notice how his face softens to you, and how his eyes move from one of your eyes to the other. You could feel his tail brushing against your leg, and his small freckles glowed in the slightly dimmed cave. His lips part slowly and you watch as he lets out a small breath before straightening his back.

“Can i…” His ears bat down as you raise your eyebrows slightly, listening to his words. “Can i kiss you?” The question rings in your head for maybe 10 seconds before you even begin to breathe again. Did Neteyam Sully just ask if he could kiss you? Your best friend? A Na’vi….? You felt as if your legs could give out under you, but you just continue to look at him, trying to study if he had been joking. He lets out a small breath and chuckles awkwardly, shaking his head. “Sorry I… I didn’t mean to-“

“You want to kiss me?” Your voice is just above a whisper when you speak, and your eyes are searching his for the right answer. He nods his head with a small smile.

“Only if you’ll let me?” He takes a small step closer and you don’t even try to move, he could hear your heart beating horribly fast, and could see the look in your eyes as your cheeks grew hot from his words. I made her blush! Great mother she’s blushing! Neteyam held back his smile as he watches you look away from him, his tail swaying under the water.

You finally look up to him and nod your head, your smile so big your cheeks hurt from it. He only chuckles, cupping your small face in his large hand before he leans down to press his lips against your own, and in that moment you didn’t even care you were naked under the water.

You move closer to him, allowing your breasts to press against his chest. You could feel his heartbeat with your hand against his body, it was racing just like yours. His arm was so strong around your waist, and his kiss was delicate like a small passionate peck. You always imagined your first kiss, especially with Neteyam.

Neteyam couldn’t get enough of your scent; your sweet, vanilla and coconut scent. You smelled like heaven, and even though you weren’t Na’vi, it was like you had pheromones that sent butterflies to his stomach. He felt this claim over you, like you were meant to be his, like you were his mate.

The two of you pull away slowly, still only inches away from each other. Neteyam was more confident to ask now, to tell you what he found on the internet.

“I read that, uh… that…” Maybe he wasn’t ready, but your reassuring hand on his arm made it all come out at once. “I read that having sex could help a lot” Your mind went blank when he said that. Did you hear him correctly? Sex? With Neteyam? That couldn’t be possible… right? A human with a Na’vi…

But you hated the fact this thought had crossed your mind so many times. The thought of Neteyam being your first and last, the thought of him being your first everything… it was an image you thought of a lot.

“I just… I just wanna help you, Y’know? Just wanna make you feel better” If he couldn’t see you, you would’ve been biting on your nails right now but instead your just staring at him, almost unresponsive as you fight the thoughts in your head. Could you even do this? You wanted to… but could you?

“I… but I’m bleeding” You point out with a slight sadness in your voice, and Neteyam’s hands grab your waist gently to pull you even closer to him then before. He didn’t care and you saw that, he just wanted to help you no matter what it was that you needed. Your mouth opened but almost insanely shut again due to your lack of response, and you couldn’t help yourself from pulling his face back into your own.

Your lips move perfectly in synch as soon as they lock, and in no time he has your legs wrapped around his large waist, kissing you passionately under this waterfall. A soft moan escapes your lips when he pushes his tongue against your own, and sets you on a ledge on the waterfall so he could stand up and be level with you. You don’t even realize your state until the air hits your skin, causing you to pull back from him to look down between you.

“I… Neteyam” You catch your bottom lip between your teeth as you notice your naked bodies. Though neteyam didn’t even realize your words when his eyes roam your body, fingertips tracing every curve until they reached your thighs. Your nipples were perked high, and you could already feel the pool form between your legs. Then there was his body; His very large body that was fully bare, his cock pressing against your calf. “Will this work…? Will it-“

“You ask too many questions, Tanhì” He trails, allowing his hands to move to your hardened breasts. You watch lustfully as he leans down to your neck, kissing your skin hungrily as if you were his last meal. Part of you was nervous, but the other part of you was curious. You wanted to feel him—touch him.

“Mmm…” You lay your head back against the stone behind you, laying a hand on the back of his head as he begins to trail kisses down from your neck. His large hands knead your breasts tenderly until his mouth is hovering just above one of them, tongue flicking against your nipple. “Neteyam…” Great mother how badly he’s always wanted to hear that… his name slip through your lips.

You let out a shack breath when his tongue pressed harder against and around your nipple, his other hand rolling your free nipple between his fingers. Neteyam couldn’t keep his eyes off your pretty yellows, noticing what made you moan even louder for him to keep going. He payed close attention to your body language as you grind yourself against him the best you could, feeling his hardening cock press even higher up your thigh.

“Tey, I… could you…” Neteyam watches you struggle through your words, your breath taken the moment his lips kissed your soft skin. You wanted to speak, but staring into his eyes as he completely worshiped your human body, was so fucking attractive and made you hot to his touch. “Touch me” You say in a breathless demand which makes him smirk and pull away from your nipple, placing more and more kisses back up your body till he reached your neck.

“I thought you were nervous?“ He points out in a cocky tone, one of his large hands laying on your thigh as it creeps up against his body. He’s practically trapped between your legs now and you love every second of it, your soft hands combing thorough his braids the more his lips moved up your neck. He was right, you were nervous but there was just something about him… something you couldn’t turn away from.

You let out a small gasp when you feel the head of his cock press against your inner thigh, just inches away from your core. Your body felt so needy for his, like he had flicked a switch as soon as he kissed you and you were suddenly all his to toy with. “Kiss me?” You ask while his head is still between your neck, nails scratching his skin gently as he pulls back up.

It felt surreal. It felt like just yesterday you were pulling his tail and now you were under him, begging him to make you feel better. When his lips touched yours, you felt those familiar butterflies in your stomach along with the tingling feeling between your legs—almost as if his touch had set your skin ablaze.

His lips were soft against yours with a hint of hunger, one of his hands snaking to the side of your face to pull you closer. You wanted to kiss him forever, you wanted to soak up as much as you could of him because you knew this was merely only to help you, but only Eywa knows you wanted more then that.

Ever since you were a little girl you always loved Neteyam. You father was Norm after all, which meant you were born very close to the sully family from the start. You watched Neteyam grow since as long as you could remember, sticking by his side whenever times got tough with his father. You were there for his first Ikran ride, and you cheered him on when he completed his rite of passage. Neteyam was going to be a strong Olo’Eyktan, that was for sure, but you always hated the fact he would have to mate with someone and forget about you.

It wasn’t hard to fall for the chiefs son, much less Neteyam. He was pretty in every way, and his way with words was always so beautiful.

“Mawey, Tahnì. We’ve got time” The boy mumbled against your lips, leaning his forehead against yours to slow you a down a bit. You blush out of embarrassment, you didn’t mean to rush, you were too caught up in the moment—too caught up in him. Neteyam watches as your cheeks burn a gentle pink which makes a smile pull his lips, and he can’t help but lean down to kiss your cheek. “It’s okay, I’m getting a little impatient too”

His words are just above a whisper when your eyes meet, his big yellows staring into your beautiful blue’s. He always got so lost in them, they were different from everyone else’s. You could feel his heart beating against his chest with how close you had been, how his tail brushed your thigh. Great mother, it was impossible to stay away from him.

Your hand, which already had been wandering his skin, is now just above his pelvis, threatening to touch him where he hurt the most. “You don’t have to suffer for me” You breath out gentle against him, and you watch as his lips part with a slight shudder when your fingertips graze the head of his cock.

“Y/N…” He warns barely audible as you small hand tries its best to wrap around him, but he was far too big and it was merely impossible. His lips reattach to yours before you could say anything else, and his hand slowly pulls yours away from him, beginning to trail passionate kisses down your body.

Neteyam knew you were a virgin, you didn’t even have to tell him. He remembered when you’d stay up for hours when norm and Jake had been away, talking about what you two wanted for the future or stupid things like when your first kiss would be.

Neteyam wasn’t a virgin. Hell, he was the chiefs son.

He had his fair share of girls since he was 17, but they were never really his priority. Most of the time he slept with girls to get his mind off of you, and how he couldn’t have you. Your father had seen the connection between the two of you at your very young age, always whispering to Jake whenever you’d braid Neteyam’s hair or fall asleep on top of each other somehow.

He was perfect for you in your dads eyes.

“This okay?” The boy softly asks when he presses the pad of his thumb against your clit, and you nod releasing a shaky breath. Your scent was far too strong, like a drug almost. His eyes are fallen to your bare body, stuck on the curves against your skin.

“It’s not nice to stare, Teyam” Your words lift his gaze back to your own, allowing him to notice your nervous eyes. You were afraid he wouldn’t find you attractive enough. Given you didn’t have a na’vi body and definitely not what he was used to, but if anything, Neteyam was more attracted to you then he’d ever been with anyone before.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are” The boy’s words come out gentle and soft, like a bandaid you lay atop an open wound to make it stop bleeding. Your cheeks are flush red as you sit up, laying your hands on the back of his neck. He watches closely as your eyes slowly flutter shut at the tingling feeling between your legs, the feeling he sent you with just his finger. You looked so beautiful like this, and you were so wet already. “Feel good?”

“Mhmmm… always feel so good when your around, Tey” His ears perk high at your words and he could feel his heart jump, glancing down at how his fingers played at your forbidden area. “Mm!” Your hand comes clasping around his wrist to stop his movements, feeling the pressure become a little too much to handle.

Neteyam can’t help but chuckle as he cups the side of your face with his free hand, pressing your bottom lip down with his thumb. “I’ve got you, Tanhì. Give yourself to me, let me make you feel better” his words ring in your ears as he reattaches his lips to your neck, rubbing faster circles against your clit right when you let go of his wrist. Give yourself to him?

“Neteyam…Neteyam” You repeat breathlessly and grab onto his shoulders, allowing your moans to fall from your lips so gentle you didn’t even notice you had been rambling. Neteyam’s cock was growing painfully hard now. He couldn’t take much more of the waiting, he couldn’t listen to your moans anymore without grunting in the pain he suffered.

“Need you to come for me, pretty girl. Can you do that for me?” You hum with a tense body, grip tightening around Neteyam’s arm as he chased your high. Whimpers are slipping from your lips without warning, and you could feel the growing tension in the pit of your stomach.

“Tey—Neteyam..!” Your words are shuttered by a gasp when you press your legs against his body, and push your head back against the stone under you, feeling yourself come undone. The boy above you whispers praising words in your ear as his finger slows against your clit, easing you out of your very intense high. Your chest was already heaving and you barely even started, and the way Neteyam’s eyes glued to your own made your cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.

“That’s it… good girl” His words make a shiver run down your spine, almost as if he’d reached in your body and touched your soul itself. He chuckles at your state, glancing down between you as he pulls his finger from your wet cunt, watching as your slick ran down his blue skin. You watch closely as he slips his thumb in his mouth, the sweet taste of you splurging against his tongue. You were sweet, tasted like one of the forest fruits he always loved to eat.

“Wait” you stop him from pulling your legs farther apart, slightly sitting up to look down at the unfamiliar part of him that had been pressing against you for so long. “Can i… touch you?” Neteyam’s eyes soften at your request, noticing how your eyes scanned his painfully hard cock. “It’s only fair, Right?”

After being hesitant for a second, the boy couldn’t help but smirk in the moment, cupping the side of your face. “What kind of best friend would I be if I said no?” Best friend… great mother, how were you going to survive? Neteyam had thought you only meant touching him, but to his surprise, you lowered yourself back into the water, now standing just as tall as his mid stomach.

As soon as you wrapped your small fingers around his cock, you felt how it pulsed against them, and you could hear the shaky breath that left your best friends mouth in that moment. God, even his cock had been pretty. He was long in length, somewhat thick but not to the point you found it impossible. The base of his cock was a darker blue like his skin tone, while it got lighter as you moved up, and his tip stood out in a lighter red/soft pink tone.

“You don’t have to-“

“I always knew you were pretty, but I never expected this” You mumble but his hearing is far too good to ignore it, which your words sent heat through his cheeks. Your hand is barely able to wrap around him, but your eyes stare up at him confidently as you stroke his length gently. “A pretty cock for a pretty boy” You smile, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Neteyam lets out a deep breath when he reaches his hand down to your face, cupping your cheek with his large hand.

“A gorgeous girl deserves that, doesn’t she?” He hums, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. With another glance down, your able to see the slightly blue-tinted pre that leaks from his tip, practically begging you for your tongue. Neteyam’s hand is still against your face but slowly moves to your head, noticing your hesitation.

You move your head down with his soft guidance against it, stopping when your lips were just a few inches from his leaking tip. You wanted to taste it, to discover the secrets your best friend had kept from you for so long. It was truly a dream you’ve had many times, but you were sure they wouldn’t compare to the real thing.

“Just the tip, Tanhì. Don’t want you getting hurt, do we?” Neteyam taunts above you, sucking in a sharp breath once you finally press your tongue against his skin. Your eyes close when the sweet taste hits your tongue, and you can’t help but hum around his cock approvingly. “Kalweyaveng… just like that, Y/N” He breathes, the warmth of your small mouth taking the head of his cock with a nice welcome. Your hand is still stroking the rest of him, helped by the water so his cock had been wet from the start.

You pull back slightly after awhile to run your tongue along the side of it, flicking it over his sensitive spots. “Like this?” Neteyam groans, his fingers slowly starting to grip your hair. The bioluminescent freckles against his cock begin to glow brighter, alerting you of his arousal which makes you blush. The Na’vi was holding his pretty sounds from you, trying his hardest to hold it together.

“Just like that” his words are extremely faint as he looks back down to you, watching as you place him back in the warmth of your mouth. You knew he was getting frustrated when more and more pre leaked onto your tongue, begging for something much more then your mouth. Which is exactly why he pulled your head off of him and reached down, pulling you back up to sit on the ledge.

You frown, “was I not good-“

“You were fucking perfect, Y/N. I just—fuck, I need you” He lays you back against the stone once again, his large hands roaming your bare skin. “Great mother” You laugh as he cursed himself, head dropping down to capture the skin of your neck between his lips. You let out a soft moan as your hands traveled his body, indulging in the amazing feeling of him against you. It felt like his hands were everywhere—touching you, kissing you… he was practically apart of you. You could feel every emotion that coarse through his body, every loving feeling of his heart thumping against his chest. “N-Need you, Y/N”

You smile at his whimpers, this didn’t feel like just sex; this felt so much deeper, so much more sensual and it was doing so much to the both of you. Even through the pain and need for his body against your own, your mind still fogged with fear, reaching down to feel where his cock pressed against your thigh. “Neteyam” He let out a shaky breath once your fingers graze him, your hand clasping around his length in curiosity. You both looked between you at your movements, and you could no longer tell which side to listen to—your body or your fear. “Neteyam…” you repeat, tired of fighting with your mind and he looked to you with concern, realizing the slight panic in your voice.

He noticed your face twist in resistance and quickly cupped your cheek, stopping your hand from exploring the forbidden part of his body. “Y/N, Look at me” He didn’t need the bond to feel your fear inside and out, almost instantly rushing to sooth your frantic mind. You wanted this, you did—it was just so scary. “We don’t have to do this, okay? There’s other ways I can take care of you” His accent is soothing against your ear but you shake your head, wrapping your hand around his wrist gently.

You and him both knew your anxiety was off the charts some times, but you definitely wanted to do this with him. You were in love with him, and you wanted nothing more then to show him how much you loved him. “I want to do it, I do i just-“ Your rambling is cut by his lips, softly pressing into yours sweetly. He heard you, he saw you and he definitely understood you. “Slow?” He chuckles, leaning his forehead against yours.

“Always” He kisses the palm of your hand and you feel your heart fall flush with love, that smile he so desperately loved reappearing across your lips. “Tell me if it’s too much, yes?” You nod, kissing the bridge of his nose before he stood back up, pulling your body closer to the edge so it pressed against his. Your top half felt empty without him there but you held out, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch his every move.

He took his painfully hard manhood in his hand, gently running it along your dripping wet slit. You both could’ve got off just by this motion, just off the sight of one another like this. The first time was always painful, Neteyam knew that. He wanted nothing more then to make it the most comfortable and loving experience you could’ve imagined. He didn’t want to have sex, he wanted to make love to you—make you feel all his love that’s been pent up all these years.

“I’m gonna go real slow, okay? I won’t hurt you” You smile at his soft words, knowing how afraid he was of actually hurting you in any way, shape or form. You reassure him as he slowly pushes himself past your entrance, only the tip of him steadying inside you. You bite your lips, already feeling the slight burning sensation between you. He was so big compared to you, and you knew there was much worse pain to come. “This is the hardest part, Ma’Tìyawn”

You didn’t care, you just wanted him close to you and he saw that. He saw your nervous eyes almost instantly and leaned his body down to your own so he could hover over you. “It’s okay, Teyam” You whisper and feel your breath reflect off his face onto yours, faces only inches apart. He dips his head down to your neck, pulling the skin between his lips as he pushed a further depth inside you. The pain grew immensely and your nails dug into his back, grunts escaping his mouth.

“I know, I know” He soothes beside your ear, trying his hardest to keep his composure. You felt so good around him, like your body had been made to fit with his. “Your doing so good, Baby. It’ll get better, just relax for me” Your needs are telling you to take all of it at once but you know in your mind you’ll get hurt, or at least be horribly sore in the morning. You let out a gasp when he pushes further, pushing your hand against his chest with a cry. “Good girl” He praises, glad you had told him instead of hiding your pain.

“It hurts, Tey…” He shushes you, wiping your cheek off with the gentle pad of his thumb. You still wanted this more then ever and he knew that, but he’d be lying if he said it wouldn’t be hard. Neteyam must’ve waited forever until you gave him the okay, making sure he didn’t push you over your edge. He wanted to take care of you, he needed to make you feel better.

“There you go, That’s it” His coaching words help your body relax and he takes his time pushing into you all the way, earning a louder moan from your lips when he buried himself inside you.

“I—you—fuck” He chuckles at your stuttering voice and pulls your ear between his teeth, watching them perk at his sweet voice. “So big…” Now it’s his ears perking at your praise, and you can feel his hands tighten around your body. Even through the pain you smirk, placing a kiss against his shoulder. A praise kink, huh? What else was there to him? You thought to yourself, pulling his head up in front of your own. “Just give me a second, okay?”

Neteyam smiles, planting a soft kiss against your lips before mumbling against them, “take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere, Tanhì” His big eyes stare into yours with patience, and his hand slips between you to find your sensitive bud. Your cheeks flush a dark red at his words, and it almost makes you want to utter the forbidden words you’ve always wanted to say.

I love you. The words flood your mind while your fingers touch gently along his face, moaning at the sensation he had been giving you in every way.

He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing between you nervously but you quickly pull his gaze back to you, nodding your head. He was so cute like this, so afraid of hurting you. He nods his head before capturing your lips in a passionate kiss, gently moving his hips against your own. You felt so full of him, so full you felt like you could break in half. Your cramps were slowly starting to go away with every small thrust, your moans growing louder as he buries his head in your neck.

“Y/N your… shit—so tight” He breaths against you and you let out a soft moan, his ears perking at the sweet sounds you made. “Doing so good… fuck, you take me so well” Oh how the butterflies in your stomach made you giggle, crashing your lips against his again. His hands were gentle against your body but his pace slowly increased with time, and every moan and gasp you let out would only encourage him more.

“Teyam…” The sound of his name rolling off your tongue made him almost feral, and he could only watch as your eyes roll back and your legs squeeze his body. Now, all your pain had gone away. Your cunt was soaked from the mix of your slick and blood, making it such an easy access to the boy above you. You held his face, eyes never leaving his even with every shock of pleasure he sent you. His forehead was soon covered in sweat and so was yours, all that could be heard in the forest were your loud moans that covered his small whimpers. “More, Tey. Please” Your body speaks for you and he instantly grants your wish, pulling both of your legs up to lay against his shoulders.

Your mouth fell open as his tip kissed your cervix, reaching a depth you didn’t even know he could go. This is exactly what you needed, and it made it almost impossible to stay quiet. “Your the only girl I want saying my name. My gorgeous girl… great mother, Ma’Y/N. You are so beautiful, you know that?” He moves closer and you whimper at the stretching of your legs, massaging his arm as your head fell back against the grass.

“Your the gorgeous one, Tey” You tease through a moan and he only chuckles, leaning down to kiss your jaw. This boy was your life in one person and you weren’t ready to lose him—not to a Na’vi or anyone else.

His teeth pull your ear and you giggle, nails digging into his back so hard you knew you left a scratch. That feeling is back, the one you got before that sat in the pit of your stomach. Neteyam could feel you pulsing around him, and this only made him slow down, taking his time to make every stroke deep enough to the point you could feel every inch of him.

“Neteyam… I’m…” Your words are shortened by your shaky breath but he sees right through you, and he’s quick to hold your thigh, picking up his pace just a bit to draw you to your edge. He wanted you to scream it—to tell the whole forest how only he could’ve helped you. Neteyam was so set on it. After this, there was no turning his feelings away anymore.

“Scream my name, pretty girl. You deserve it” It felt so forbidden the way he slipped inside you with ease now, how something so much larger then you was welcomed by your body like you were it’s home. He applies more pressure, both inside and outside of you, holding your leg firmly against his shoulder.

“Neteyam. Oh, my god” you moan his name louder, nails digging deeper against his large shoulders. You’re completely lost in him, and you’d didn’t care. You didn’t care about someone hearing, or what this would mean afterwards, you just needed him with you—right now.

“I’ve waiting too long for this” He grunts against your ear making your stomach flip, and you can’t help but question through a moan.

“W-what?”

But he dips his head back down to kiss you, driving his hips back against yours in a passionate thrust. He ignored your question purposely, he wasn’t going to ruin the moment the two of you were sharing. Of course you didn’t understand his comment. Hell, Neteyam knew better then to believe you loved him. You always saw him as your family, like a brother.

But that was far from true.

“Neteyam” He was far too caught up in the blissful feeling between you, and you watch closely as his bioluminescent freckles glow brighter, another kiss planting against your lips. Then there it was again; that pit in your stomach.

That pit that cried to your body for a release, that pit that built the worst pressure against your abdomen, and that pit that neteyam had put there.

But he had been pulsing inside you too, and you felt every last bit of it. Every beat, and heard every grunt that left his mouth. He was eager, just as you.

“I’m… oh, fuck! I’m coming, Tey..!” You warn against his lips. Neteyam’s answering moan vibrates all around your lips, sending a shockwave to your stomach when you’re just barely tipping over the edge.

“Come for me, Tanhì. My perfect girl, come just for me” You grow dizzy and you can do nothing but submit to him, unapologetic when you moan his name the loudest you could. He’s pushing harder and faster, just the way you needed and somehow, someway, this became much more than just sex.

He was making love to you, and you noticed it as soon as he caressed your face.

“Neteyam!” You scream, biting down on your lip to stifle any louder moans that could’ve gotten you caught. Your body feels it—the crashing of your orgasm, the tightening of your stomach, and the slick that poured from your sopping cunt. Your legs tighten around the boy just as your walls around him do, and you leave Neteyam a grunting mess above you.

“That’s it—fuck, good… good girl” The heat between you is more intense now then ever, all that could be heard was the sound of your heavy breathing and moans mixed together. “Fuck, Y/N” His body trembles and his thrust become sloppy, shoving himself against you one last time before he’s just over his edge.

He pulls himself from you with a grunt, and a long moan is heard from the both of you when his light blue release spills onto your stomach, coating you in it. His body jerks into his hand and your head falls back against the stone under you, chest still heaving with pure exhaustion.

It’s a good two minutes before either of you were able to move, but even then, you chose to stay in the position you had been in, except now you were rolled over—head laying against his large chest.

“That was…” You mutter under your breath, unable to finish.

“Unbelievable” He replies, making you look up at him with the a small laugh, except this time it was more innocent. The boy looks down at you and it’s clear he can’t hide it anymore, he can’t keep acting like his feelings for you don’t exist. “Feel better?” Neteyam asks with a gentle stroke to your arm, comforting your tired body against his.

“So much better” You hum with a smile, laying your head in the crook of his neck. “Thank you, Tey” His face falls at your words, replying with a simple anytime. He wasn’t ready to leave you, to go home without you by his side. This could be the only night you’d ever be this close, and he knew this would be the only time to admit his feelings for you, but he just couldn’t. “I’m happy with this, you know”

His forehead creases at your words, “what do you mean?” He’s nervous, you could hear his heartbeat against his chest, and it was quickening by the second. The soft pads of Neteyam’s fingers brush your hair away from your face, just in time for you to look up at him with a smile.

“This, us, you…” us? Did you mean to say that? “I’m glad it was you” And there it was, the realization between both of you. You were no longer in the dark and mist of each other, but you now saw each other clearer than day itself, and it made you wonder.

Was this ever just a pain reliever?

Ughhh I kind of hate this… feels so rushed :/

My writers block is terrible but I’m trying to write day by day, hopefully I’ll have another Jake sully smut out soon!

Taglist: @doggyteam2028 @luvagirlsworld @mashiromochi @angelsamor @neytirishottie @lu-the-ghost-reader @viajaeger @jakescumdump @myh3artttt @rinizitos @luz15sstuff @lalamac125 @countryandsweetbabygirl @queenmizuki @sunnysolhaze

[softandsourcream]

Stop, you’re losing me~ - one

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Summary: The last time you saw Yoongi wasn't one of your fondest memories. And actually, you thought that after ten years you no longer had any more tears to shed for that memory, for that situation, for him.

What was the problem with meeting him again at his brother's wedding, right?

Right?

pairing: idol! yoongi x vet!f reader.

Words: 9k

genre(s): angst, hurt- comfort, slow burn, fluff, smut (+18) (not this one tho)

au(s): childhood friends - to lovers, idol yoongi, normal vet reader, entertainment industry, denial and resentment.

warnings: curse words, family drama, grief, loss of loved ones, panic/anxiety attacks, damaged mental health, a LOT of struggling. Yoongi is here to help tho♡.

author’s note: just wanna let you all now that I’m so exited that this is out now! Hope you enjoy it and if you have any suggestion just let me know! I don’t bite 🐇. Also, English it’s not my fist language, so please be patient with this dumbass

~

IMPORTANT: this fic contains a lot of sensitive topics touched upon explicitly. Please, if any of the tags trigger something in you, stop reading. You’re more important, and there is much more content you can consume here. Take care please! ♡

enjoy!

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main masterlist

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“Where are you?”

“Outside.” In fact, he had gotten out of the car a second ago, and he wasn't going to answer, but he didn't know where they were either; the place was exaggeratedly large.

“Get in here then, you're late.”

“I’m at the entrance... where are you?” His voice breathless, he ran a lot in less than 20 minutes.

“Your brother is about to faint, so you’re going to see us easily. The first row.”

Yoongi hung up the phone, and sure enough, it wasn't difficult for him to find his family right at the end of the place. His brother looked around restlessly, probably looking for him or his fiancée, because he knew he was late, but he didn't seem to have started yet either.

His father, on the other hand, observed his brother's concern with the empty gaze he had always had from his seat, blinking slowly without saying much. He smiled a little at the scene (also a little relieved to finally be there) and started walking quickly, straight there, without looking at anyone else.

He greeted some of his aunts from afar, bowed to others he didn't know but greeted him, and ended up meeting his brother's eyes, almost finishing his journey. The concern on his face changed to one of anger, and he approached him as if suddenly he wasn't about to get married and be responsible for a family. His posture was the same as when they played as children, and his mother had to separate them for a toy.

It gave him chills.

“Hel-“

“Where the fuck were you.”

Yoongi frowned exaggeratedly at the bad word, looking at his father, who was watching everything in the same exact spot with the exact same cold and calm eyes.

“You’re not going to say anything to him?”

He didn’t respond, and Yoongi chuckled when his brother insulted him again.

“Calm down, if mom hears you, she-“

“You’re half an hour late, Min.” Finally, his father, mad. He can tell just by his voice. Yoongi shrank from the scolding and grimaced, looking at his brother.

“I’m sorry.” One. Sooner than he expected “They didn’t let me go sooner.” Greum-Jae didn't even seem interested in hearing an excuse; Yoongi had never seen him so angry before. But he still dared to continue speaking. “I get you’re mad, and I’m sorry, but don’t be mad with me right now. This is your day, we can fight later, and I’m here. I’m really sorry, for real, it wasn't my intention to ruin this for you.”

“Now it’s my job to be calm?” Jae fled from his touch. “To ignore your mistakes? You literally have one job.”

“I know I- I don’t have any other excuse, okay? I’m really sorry.”

Two.

It was subtle, but after a moment, his gaze softened, and so did his body, which was the most noticeable. Jae hugged him, and Yoongi smiled sadly, because he did feel bad, but, of course, it wasn’t the time to show it.

“You’re lucky she’s late too, and that I’m in a good mood right now.” He knows. “Missed you…”

“Me too.” His smell, his hugs, his voice. His home. He missed. “You are in a good mood, though? You look like you're about to throw up.”

He hit his shoulder, breaking the hug and getting closer to his father. Yoongi says hi to him without receiving a response, of course. He looked older and tired, which made him think about how long he had not set foot in that city. He squeezed his fist, unsettled. “I’m nervous; of course I look like that.”

Yoongi was going to ask why, genuinely interested, because he didn't understand why he should be nervous. He wasn't supposed to do anything more than 'yes, I do' and be with the person he loves most for the rest of his life. He also understood that, from the context, Yoongi would never understand it, and he didn't feel like doing it either. Also, he shouldn't be that direct, so he swallowed his question and leaned with both hands on the empty chair next to his father, placing all his weight on his arms.

He wanted to ignore the fact that he felt watched. There were a lot of people there. He hadn't taken a look to see how much he knew and how much he didn't, that was an activity he would leave for when they were dancing and there was less light. Right now he knew that everyone was looking at him, and he didn't like it because, although it was a family and private event, he couldn't completely ignore it. Photos of him would still come to light. It was, in fact, one of the discussions he had with the company days before.

“Your brother doesn't want to hear you, but I do. What is more important than your brother’s wedding now?”

Shit.

Jae was now talking to someone who came to tell him news about Eun, and he had walked away. He could only hear the echo of people talking, laughing, and happiness. Yoongi didn't want to have that conversation right now.

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

“You’re being unfair right now.”

The man sighed.

“I’m just asking, Yoongi." And his voice sounds different too, so Yoongi didn’t like it. “If I’m not right, why don’t you tell me? You know I know when you're right, and I'm not. I'm not stubborn, you're locking yourself in."

Yoongi wrinkled his nose because he was right in a way, and he hated that it was like that. It was true; he didn't know why he felt so cornered all of a sudden. Stretching his arms and looking at the ground, he became a little dizzy. His whole body suddenly hurt; maybe all the fatigue of those months came upon him.

“Working.” He was honest even so, knowing what was coming. His father didn’t move in any sense. “I was working, but it wasn't'more important than this’. They wouldn't let me go, for real.”

“You didn’t take a day off?”

“I can’t. I’m on tour right now, and I asked permission, but you know that they’re not flexible with the times.

“Just like your mother's birthday. Or every Christmas.” He sounds sad now, almost disappointed. Mad, but really sad. “We invite you, but you never come. Your brother was shaking yesterday. He really wanted to see you.”

There was silence. A big one, where you could still hear the murmurs of the people, the echo of the grandeur of the place, the clicking of heels, and the shy laughter. He gave them both time to realize where they were, that they were in suits, and that, after all, he hadn't seen that man in a long, long time.

Yoongi's apology stuck in his throat—another genuine apology.

 

A third.

 

“I'm sorry, son.” His father says instead. Yoongi had heard it a few times in his 30s. “I understand. We understand, but... we always do. Me, your mother, and your brother today. He has all the right to be mad; we all are, but you’re doing your best, and we’re getting old too.” This time he looked at him, smiling a little. Yoongi does too, but his was a sad one. “Just don’t forget about your family. I just hope I make it to your wedding too.”

“Pff.” They laughed, and the son nodded, his nose still wrinkled just thinking about it. “I can only do the first one, sorry. That’s why Jae did it first. Maybe I don't invite you to a wedding, but you have been sitting more than once watching me in a stadium with more people than here.” He looked at his brother with his eyes. He continued talking to that woman, nodding, biting his lip, having an awful time, and if it wasn't bad, then something questionable. Yoongi could swear his palms were sweating. “I honestly don't feel like... being that worried.”

His father looked nothing in the front, with a smirk on his face. Yoongi realized how old he turned again.

“You just haven't found the right person to be like this for.”

That doesn’t sound like his father. At all.

He looked at him again and couldn't say anything when his brother was already in front of them, smiling and wiping the sweat from his hands.

He knew it.

“She’s about to arrive, take your seat.”

Yoongi left the back of the chair where there was supposed to be another person there who wasn't there, and frowning, he looked around the room without really doing it, realizing that he was missing someone to greet.

“Where’s mom?”

And as if he hadn't been listening to laughter, murmurs, and voices of people for ten minutes that filled his ears non-stop, right after that question, a specific laugh seemed to answer his doubt, reversing his pressure and causing a strong shiver to run down the back of his neck.

He turned quickly, perhaps even a little disbelievingly, and then, he saw you.

Not his mother, though. Or yes, her too, but his eyes fell on you first because it was always like that, because that was your laugh, and because it was impossible not to.

Far away. The possibility of having heard your laughter was quite unlikely, even impossible. Seven or eight rows back. Of course, you were wearing baby blue, delicate, and tight. The fabric didn’t shine like your gloves do, and you had your long hair loose, tied up from the top just a little. You laughed heartily, teeth on display, his mother being the cause of your smile and your bright eyes. Such honest and grateful happiness, because why not, you both looked exaggeratedly happy to be in front of each other again. Her mother held your hands tightly, moving them up and down in time with her words, and you just nodded and responded briefly.

His heart stopped. He could swear he had even forgotten to breathe.

Yoongi didn't enjoy eye contact.

He usually runs away from it. He feels stupid, and he gets embarrassed quickly. It's a tense situation for him, but he was wishing with all his might that you two had it at that moment. That his eyes were heavy enough for you to turn to look at him and take a good look at you because your eyes had always been big and expressive, and he needed to confirm that he wasn't hallucinating.

At least that's what they were like the last time he saw them, so many years ago that he couldn't count them, and from what he saw from there, many things had changed.

You look breathtaking. You've always looked this pretty, but right now… 

He didn't know if it was because he hadn't seen you in person for many years, up close, but unpleasant things were happening to him. His legs trembled when you finally looked back. Big eyes, make-up on, pretty color, and they opened, your moves frozen, and somehow, you two had an extremely uncomfortable visual conversation, as if you were face to face, and you didn't know what to say.

To his surprise, your gaze quickly changes to a more confident, almost cold look, and you bow with extreme lightness to say hello without intending to break contact. However, his mother did, hugging goodbye to you as soon as everyone started tidying up, music started playing, and Yoongi was forced to sit down, trembling, sweating, and unfocused, remembering how you looked.

He was there again, in real life, in Daegu, where he was born and grew up, where it was hot and dangerous to go out at night, where they used to live, and where he used to get lost when he could.

He had arrived that morning, but his brother, his parents, and you brought him back home.

“Shit.”

Not in a comfy, lullaby way. More like a cold water falling from the sky directly on the ground/ type of way.

He was there. You were there, feeling better than him, of course, but you don’t know. You had the whole month to mentally prepare for that reunion. Obviously you had a better handle on it, but you were also shaking, and you had to take a couple of breaths before you were ready for the wedding.

“Good?”

 

Seun was next to Greum when everything happened, in a way waiting as a spectator. Both in silence, from afar. Now he was waiting for you to respond, so he could start the recording in case you said something compromising. Both of you were in your assigned seats, with Jae at the altar.

“If it’s better than him, then yes, I’m great.” He laughed and checked at the entrance in case Eun was peeking out. He wanted to see her dress. You shake your shoulders, trying not to look in his direction again, releasing tension.

“Well, I don’t judge him. Jae didn’t tell him you were here.”

You scoff, “He didn’t? We're some show to you two or something?” putting your brother's arm away (with more force than necessary. It bothers you that he didn't take seriously how you felt. More now that you were especially sensitive) so you can record properly. The music began to overwhelm you a bit.

Now. Suddenly they were all in order, therefore quieter, so you two had to continue the conversation in whispers. Jae was waiting for his future wife; the doors of the place were open, but nothing was happening yet.

“He told me months ago that he wasn’t sure if he would arrive. The invitation was made, but he hasn't seen him for almost a year. When-“ he stops, unlocking his phone that had turned off for not pressing record yet, making you smile. Your older brother reminded you a lot of your father sometimes, and you rarely saw him so excited and well groomed at the same time. Your dress color and his suit matched too. His idea. “When Yoongi confirmed he was coming, Jae didn’t have the time to tell him. So yeah,” you looked at him when he did, blinking. “I know he’s feeling a lot of things right now.”

Well, that was weird.

That doesn’t sound like Yoongi, Yoongi loves his brother, his family, at least the one you know.

The type of relationship you had now (null) didn't allow you to say that out loud, and, strictly speaking, you didn't understand his reaction either. He looked genuinely surprised; it shouldn't affect him if he was the one who broke everything in the first place. You assumed it had just been the surprise, and it would take you a good stretch of the night to be able to let go of the fact that they were there, so close but so far, to let go of the possibilities of talking, hugging him, and telling him how much you had missed him, know about him, how he handled things. Just as before. Because it didn't help you to think like that, and because how pretty and beautiful your best friend looked right now, happy, in white, and excited, couldn't be placed on anything else.

You hoped you could breathe in peace for the rest of the night. Although at some point you thought you could do it without problems, because once you wiped away the tears that came out of you when you saw Eun enter and the ceremony took place, between your brother talking to you, you were laughing at him because he had also cried halfway through. On the way, the rest of your family arrived, and an inexplicable happiness that ran through you as you were surrounded by so many people that you knew and hadn't seen in years consumed you, your head stayed busy. A lot, and you still had it in mind, but you were not alone, and that made you feel good, safe, and a little calmer.

It was easy for you not to give him your night. At least the first part of it.

Apparently, after the ceremony, the party, and celebration would take place in the same place. You weren't really surprised, in fact, it moved you even more because the place was gigantic, very tall, and beautiful, almost like a theater, and there were many, many people, enough to fill the place. Not in a suffocating way, but enough to get lost. It was mostly of age, older people, maybe grandparents you hadn't managed to meet before, and then there were people directly younger, but you knew those, Seun was a people butterfly. Friends of theirs, you assumed. Actually, Seun stopped explaining who the boy was sitting next to one of her good friends when a man, tall and good-looking, started to talk on a microphone.

“Now, now, and congratulating the bride and groom once again, we would like to call the loved ones of both to say a few words before the fun part starts.

Everyone laughed, and Seun looked at you. You forgot about that part.

“Let’s start with the parents…”

“I can go for you instead.”

“It’s okay.” You smile. You knew that he was doing his best to be able to contain you, and give you the best company, despite the fact that it was not easy for him. “I’m not made of glass.” You joke, listening to Eun’s mother speak already.

And well, for him, you were. At least right now, but he didn’t say it, scoffing to hide his thoughts. “I’m trying to be good. Dad it’s watching now, I have to be an example.”

“For what.”

“Shut up, don’t be disrespectful.”

You try not to laugh. He was nervous now. You never understood why it was so difficult for him to admit that he cared for others. Not even with Jae he dared to do it, or at least that's what you thought. You didn't know how he would tell the truth in his speech.

You were the last one. You knew this because when you arrived, Jae told you. Eun wasn't supposed to know you were there. Of course, she had invited you, but she didn't know if you would finally attend because you hadn't been able to communicate with anyone these last few months. You met once, when she came to see you at your house, but you couldn't talk about much. You were on another planet, it was like your head was disconnected from your body most of the time, and she assumed you wouldn't go. 

You wanted to think that she hadn't seen you when she passed, but you doubted it. With the amount of people there, and with how focused she was on Jae, it was impossible.

Still, you were nervous. When you accepted, you didn't think you would be in front of so many people. Your heart was beating.

“Is that Yoongi?” Nara, your sister, asked your mother just behind you when he got position and greeted everyone.

“Yeah. Why he wouldn't?” Your mom responded a bit confused. You could hear her smile.

“I think you all were joking when you told me he was on BTS, for real. It doesn’t look at all like the Yoongi I knew.” You hear a laugh, a gentile one, and then your other brother making fun of her behind. Your dad scolds them.

Now, you take advantage of the moment to take a better look at him.

You wanted to blame it on the fact that your sister was only nine when she met Yoongi, and every time he appeared on TV or in videos she was told it was him, she just couldn't believe it. You just hoped those were her blurry memories of him, because you couldn't see him too differently from how you remembered it.

Maybe his hair was longer, he was paler, taller, his back had grown considerably, and he had that special glow that any celebrity would have. He looked like an entire adult now, too. He wore expensive clothes and good shoes, although he didn't seem to have put any effort into his hair, or his appearance in general, he looked incredibly unreal, so much that it makes you angry.

If you thought about it enough, and if you didn't know it was him, you would’ve struggled to recognize him too. You often saw him in magazines, posters, on buildings in Busan, on train pamphlets, on your cell phone and even in medicine, but seeing him in person was overwhelming. It was like seeing a stranger you already knew, but better yet, he was there, but at the same time he wasn't.

You take a deep breath when you realize that, despite all those things, his features were still just as soft and delicate, just like his mother's.

His knuckles still turned red without much effort, and he smiled the same way, making that slight pout with his lips before crying, trying to contain it, and he wiped the tears carelessly. You found your Yoongi in the one you were looking at right now, with little things, with gestures, with details that you used to admire more than necessary, they were still there.

and it made you feel nauseous.

You blinked a few times, snapping out of your trance as everyone applauded, and realized you hadn't heard a single word. He had even cried, and you didn't know why. You saw Jae stand up as he was called to take position on the small stage, and a much louder round of applause made you jump lightly. They came from behind, just that young section that assumed they were friends of both. There were a lot of people, and it didn't surprise you that Seun was already fooling around on his way to the small stage there.

“How are you feeling, blossom?"

Your father asked, taking advantage of the fact that you turned around to look at the crowd and that your brother was not there. They were both looking at you, and the rest of your brothers were talking among themselves.

“I'm okay.” It wasn't necessarily a lie. You felt just as bad as you do every day. Besides, you knew that they were referring to something more specific (Min Yoongi) than to your general emotional state, so you smiled slightly, closed, and placed your hand on your mother's, who was on your arm. “I’m good; don’t worry.”

As you predicted, Seun's speech was so unserious and absurd that it's not worth dwelling on. For some reason, everyone was laughing with him, he had livened up the atmosphere and unintentionally infected everyone with joy.

He soon returned to his seat and sat still with applause in the background. You couldn't believe it.

“I don’t get why he’s still your friend.”

“We’re in love, sister.” He asure. “This wedding is for three people. They will never get rid of me.”

“Shut up.”

“Now.” The good-looking man says “Briefly before eating and doing fun things, we have one more person who wants to wish you both the best, of course.”

You can see Eun’s confused look at her husband now, and he quickly grabs her hand. Your heart was ricing, you felt your mother's hand on your shoulder.

“Park ___, please."

Eun almost jumped from her seat, looking around, looking for you. You also saw someone else look for you in the crowd when you were getting up a little stiff because of your dress. You say sorry to an old woman right in front of you, who you accidentally hit softly because Seun didn’t move at the right moment.

“Oh my god.”

You didn't have time to get halfway down the hall to the front when a large white dress ran towards you to hug you. You smiled at the impact because you were a little taken aback by how strong it came and how big her dress was. You smiled when you already had her in your arms.

“You have been here all this time?”

“Of carouse.”

“Oh my god, thank you…” she softly says, hugging you even harder.

“I wouldn’t miss the happiest moment of your life.”

Because it had cost you, but you had arrived. Was she crying? Thank goodness people were still clapping because of the moving nature of the situation, and they couldn't hear you. You were trying so hard not to cry too.

If you did it, you wouldn't stop.

“I know you-“

“It’s okay.” You stopped her. “I’m okay.”

You squeezed her waist as a signal for you to start moving, and she moved away from you to caress your face lovingly and look at you like... most people have looked at you lately with pity and kissed your forehead.

Pity.

 

She took your hand, and the entire way, you could feel Yoongi's gaze on you. From the moment she hugged you until she kissed you and started leading you forward, like an exhibition, heavy, right next to you. He made you feel small, it was silly.

“Now stop crying; I haven't said anything yet.” You start, with the microphone in your hands, making everybody laugh, the couple too, Jae helping her with the tears. The place was in silence, the lights, the eyes, and the attention were just on you. So you take a deep breath and unfold the paper you’ve got prepared. “I- uh~” a sigh. “I don’t know how people do this without crying, I- okay.” You were nervous, but the place laughed again, so it gave you time to breathe.

“I still remember you both being taller than me, smarter than me, and older than me. I know that deep down all of you were so done of me, right behind there too,” all those people scream from behind, and you laugh. “because I used to talk a lot, and I carry my toys everywhere, so I can show it to all of you, and I made too many questions for people who are starting to be teenagers and want to look cool, but I wasn’t. I didn’t even care, I remember that. I was the pain in the ass that comes with Seun. Just a plus because Seun it’s a bother himself.” The aforementioned rolled his eyes, and you waited for there to be silence so you could continue. “I understand that now, and I just came here to apologize.” 

The atmosphere after the laughter was now a little solemn, and in contrast to your brother, you were capable of poisoning the things you touched, and those who knew you knew that. You could see the newlyweds were a little worried, but you kept smiling, giving them confidence that nothing bad was going to happen. At least that wasn't your intention.

“Sorry for being the impediment for you to go out late at night or for having to return early from wherever we were... I- was with you.” Uh. You try to keep the smile. Shit, “sorry for being so annoying, and sorry for the fact that I didn't care. Because as much as I didn't like being with you sometimes, the best part of my day was watching you eat at my table, or Mrs. Min organizing my birthdays, and everyone coming with gifts that I genuinely liked because you all heard what I was saying even if I was giving you a headache.”

Unintentionally, you met those eyes again from afar, just when you were trying to control that lump in your throat because the worst part was coming, and you didn't know if you were ready. You said the following while still looking at Yoongi, not at you, surprisingly. “I miss it. I really do, and I’m so grateful that I carry all that with me.”

You look at the paper, change the page, and breathe. So you try once “I-“ and twice. “I- um…” a shaking breath sounds everywhere, reading the words, but you just can’t. “Sorry~” you're softly trying to laugh as you cry start, and you feel so stupid for breaking in front of a lot of people. No because it was bad, everybody there cried before you, but not because of the same thing.

“I love you!” You didn’t know who it was, but you smiled and responded with a really quiet and shaking'me too', giving you time to breathe as everybody laughed, and the atmosphere eased.

“Okay.” You say more to yourself, but you have a mic on your mouth, of course. “I didn’t write this part alone. Kija he… he is my twin, so of course he was with me in all of this story, but when he got sick and we were writing this months ago, he told me that I didn’t mention him in all this because it was going to be about me, not him… he’s kinda dumb.” 

You laugh, trying not to tear up. You were holding the next tears, but like, fighting demons and everything to not cry. You, for real, didn’t want to cry in front of all those people. Your voice was obviously trapped in your chest, and it was shaking, but you couldn't do anything but breathe. You just have to be quick. 

���But he told me that he wanted to tell you both that he and I were very proud to have seen you grow together, hate each other together, and deny that you liked each other together and today, for me, seeing you two married means a lot. I adore you two with all my heart. Congratulations, and I know you’re going to do a great job. I'm sure Kija would have done a better job telling him in person, but I'm here for him, so you know. He would- have loved to come, I have no doubt. Be happy, please, and no babies yet; I’m not ready.”

You didn’t remember anything after that, which means two things:

One, you need to calm down because two, you weren’t fine.

You remember the hug, and a few words both of them told you, and all the looks people gave you just after that, full of sadness and compassion (which was the first thing that made you want to run away). And at the party, you dance because you enjoy it, and you feel a little better, but people stop you all the time to give you their condolences because “they didn’t know”.

The cake was cut, the presentation was done, and you could only come back to the moment when you had your first drink of whiskey, and your body told you that it wasn’t a good idea. Your heart was fast in your chest, that would only make it worse with alcohol.

You need to breathe.

 

“Sorry, what?!”

 

You scream behind the music. Some girl named Hwan stopped you. (It came right at the beginning, when Seun was next to you, and you were pretending to listen to how she had recently graduated. Poor girl, honestly, she looks kind and lovely.) with two glasses of tequila and some salt in her hand. 

“My friend!” She said. “I lost him, so take this!”

 And then:

“Hurry! I have to go for more before they run out!” You were too agitated for this. This is a bad idea ___. “c’mon c’mon honey!”

Your hands were tingling, your breathing was short, and you were afraid. You had tried to go to the bathroom, but it was full, and it was even more claustrophobic than all those people. Right next to it, there were some stairs that you assumed went up to the balconies that surrounded the place. You were very grateful that it was high, enough to encapsulate the music on the floor below, and you heard it as if you were listening from a glass.

Or was it you? 

You leaned on the railing and began to sweat. You closed your eyes, trying to calm down little by little, to look for things to think about, to feel something other than fear and anguish at the same time, but it was impossible, completely, and that made you even more desperate. You were breathing as if you had just run for two hours non-stop, and there came a point where your legs couldn't support your body. You couldn't feel your hands, cried a lot, trying to catch air, moaned in terror.

“please please please… stop just-“

You were trying not to faint, you were on the edge of a high place, and it was now dark for those below. It was when you felt like you really couldn't do anything. That you tried to stand back in case your body gave way forward, and it wasn't more dangerous when you felt hands on your stomach directly and the warmth of a body behind you.

A warm feeling that felt like burning on a straight fire

“Easy~ here,” you heard, far away from you, just like the music in a glass. The only thing that told you that he was literally glued to you was his touch. “Can you feel my hand?” You didn't respond, trying to run away. You didn’t want to be touched. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re safe. If you want to feel better, you have to answer me, okay?”

“Hmm” a moan full of pain, was not even an answer.

“Okay?” They asked again. This time you nodded and felt the hand move on your stomach, the fingers more than anything, like playing a piano. Soft, but rough at the same time. “Can you feel it?” Your two hands were placed on his in an attempt to find support; you couldn't feel your legs, and after giving him an affirmative answer with your head, you complained again, your head was about to explode. “Move my hand with your stomach as you breathe.” And you did. Erratic and desperate “That’s good, but try it slower. Focus on moving it, not on breathing.”

“I- I ca-“

"Yes, you can. You do it every day; come on.”

You know, you just didn’t want to be there.

You try your best to move his hand. It was hard because you were sobbing, and trying your best to not think too much. So you closed your eyes, exhausted, and concentrated on the warmth that the stranger was giving you and the hold that, while at first it felt overwhelming and suffocating, now it helped. You felt stronger, even though you were about to faint.

So you moved the hand, and it worked.

“Good~ breathe.”

The air filled your lungs little by little, your head began to quiet, and the music entered your ears at a decent volume considering how far you were from the ground. Your hands were cold, they were shaking, but you could move them, and you still couldn't feel your legs, but you could hear the trembling of your breathing and how your nervous system was trying to regulate itself, blocking your crying in your chest.

You were exhausted, god, you would sleep there if you could.

“Better?”

And then you realize.

 

You know that voice.

 

It was soft, deep, and in your ear. So close that if you turned to see him, both of you would collide. His hands were bigger than they used to be and softer to the touch, pale on your baby blue dress, no scrapes like you used to heal, he’s no longer biting his nails.

‘Shit’

“Don’t touch me.” You said. He tense.

“If I let you go, you will fall. You're not even holding yourself up.”

He was right. And you hate it.

“What are you doing here.”

Your voice sounded agitated, almost like a whisper. You still didn't dare open your eyes; your eyelids were heavy, and the fear of facing him so close made you delirious. Even though you had your back turned to him, you felt him snort.

“God. You’re welcome?” You clung tighter to his hand. It's just that you got dizzy, and he held you when he felt you give way to the left. “I should ask that. You almost passed out on the railing, idiot, that's… fucked up.”

He calls you an idiot? You were too weak to call him something worse.

So you only say "sorry." Instead, letting him go finally, and you tried to stand up by yourself, but you wobbled

“Okay, okay, please don’t. I’m gonna…” His hands took place on your hips to guide you to some chairs in the corner, which you didn't see at first, of course. You weren't sure if his touch hurt more now that you were more conscious or before, when you were overstimulated. Felt the same, honestly. “Be careful, they look old.” You walked as he commanded, and once you sat down, you heard him say something you couldn't decipher. You finally opened your eyes to ask, but there was no sign of anyone.

Sighing, you rested your head in your hands and closed your eyes again. You didn't know if you were still dizzy and weak or if you felt that way because you were already drunk. They both make sense to you.

You heard noise after a few seconds and looked up. Finally, Yoongi's silhouette appeared in the hallway, he had things in his hands, and he was looking at the glass of water, concentrating so that nothing would fall on the floor.

“I’m definitely too drunk for this.”

This can't be happening to you. Could not.

“I put ice on it, so you can chew. It will help.”

His voice sounded unfriendly to what he was saying. Not angry or indifferent, but rather nervous and tense, as if he were speaking by opening his mouth a little, trying to make you believe that it was no a big deal, as always, but his nervousness didn't allow him to fool you. You raised your eyes to look at his, and he turned them away once you brought them together. You tried to hide a smile as you received the glass. Of course, he couldn't look you in the eyes. He cleared his throat, finally watching you receive the water, trembling in your hold. He tries to hold it from below in case you drop it.

You took a sip.

“Your makeup is smudged.”

Of course. You must have been looking stupid.

“What is that?"

He was offering you something, like toilet paper, but softer on a package. You couldn't see very well, it was just white.

“I’m not really sure.” He confesses. “I take them from the bathroom. They’re damp.”

You touch it with two of your fingers, just to not be rude, honestly.

“Thanks, but I can’t really see myself here.” There was no mirror, and if there was, it was dark. The only lights there were those on the dance floor, which were colored and did not shine directly on the place you two were having this... moment. “I don’t really care though, I’m living soon anyway”

He didn't insist, putting the package in his pocket. You maintained a silence that would have been more awkward if the music downstairs wasn't on, and if you didn't have anything to chew at that moment. Neither of you dared to look at each other, or start a conversation because it wasn't even enough for something cordial. You didn't have the strength to get up and run away, but just when you were going to tell him that you were okay, and he could leave, he took something out of his pocket.

Now you are invested.

“You mind if I smoke?”

You looked at him from there, taking time to process the information. You shook your head slightly, maybe even confused, but there was no point in being.

“Can you even smoke here?”

The place was big but closed, you didn't know if it was allowed.

“I doubt it.”

“Since when do you smoke?” You dared to ask.

“I don’t.”

No, because he hates the smell. His mother has smoked since ever. Yoongi hates that the smell gets stuck in everything and everywhere. No matter how much his mother smoked outside the house, he always ended up with his school clothes smelling like cigarettes. It was inevitable. He always complained.

There you were watching him right now, right in profile, blowing smoke from his cigarette as if he did it every day, even though he said he doesn't. Arms resting on the railing, well-dressed, looking anywhere but at you.

You wanted to stop assuming that this Yoongi was the same one who had left years ago. Because you didn't know, you were both two completely new people, total strangers who knew nothing about each other, yet, you wanted to think that, if that were the case, he would have already left. He usually walks away from what he doesn't care about or doesn't like, that's what he did with you when he left, because that's how you felt. It was nice to believe that he was now there himself because he wanted to be, but it didn't help you to think about it, not now. Just because he was there didn't mean he was back in your life, and as silly as it sounded, your brain didn't understand that. It was your job to stop him from believing something like that.

You chew ice.

“I don’t want to ruin the party for you. Go ahead.” Your voice is still dumb. He was watching the people dancing from there, now he was looking at you, smoking the cigarette between his fingers without understanding what you meant. “I’m feeling better, you can go.”

“Okay.” He directed his body directly towards you. Unintentionally intimidating. “Do you want me to go?”

His presence made you anxious.

“Yes. But if I’m honest, I don’t really want to be alone right now.” He hums. “But I have seven siblings, and all of them are downstairs right now. I can call any of them.”

“They will scold you for not saying anything and me for not seeking help.”

“I know.” He looked at you, quietly. “I just don’t want to... keep you here. Have some fun.”

He shook his head, looking away.

“It’s okay. I was here first, drinking. Then you came. You scared me.”

You blink a few times. “You’ve spent all the night in here?”

“Most of it.” You followed his eyes down on the first floor, full of people. You could see everything from there. If you focused on one person, you could easily track them. “Enough to watch you dance and get drunk.”

“Creep.” He smiles a little.

“That’s why I wasn’t sure it was you. I went to get my whiskey, and I swear I saw you two minutes before taking a shot of tequila. I thought you were just drunk.”

You frowned, settling into the couch. You felt genuinely bad.

“Now I’m scared. For real.”

“Not intentional. I can literally watch my brother kiss Eun from here every five minutes, even if I don’t want to.” Yoongi plays with his ice, then drinks the rest in one go.

You gulped.

Thinking about it more was counterproductive for your mental health, you knew it, you understood it, it was practically self-sabotage, but right now, you gave yourself perhaps ten seconds to admire the beauty that Min Yoongi carried all by himself.

He looked so different, and everything that had changed elevated his beauty to places... god. You had met at a very young age too, in years, you could also say that you had changed enough to be mentioned at some point by a family member who hadn't seen you in a while, for example. You are an adult now, but it was impressive.

To think that you stopped seeing Yoongi right when he was being built into an idol says a lot. Everything about him looked expensive and well cared for, his soft hair, smooth skin, long eyelashes, immaculate hands, as if they were not obliged to do anything that would harm them. How his throat moved as the drink passed into his system, the lack of reaction of his features despite being strong, and having drunk almost half of the short glass.

The feeling that rose to your stomach made you come back, and from well-being, it turned into discomfort in your chest. He was there, he looked so attractive, and you couldn't do anything.

You couldn’t hug him, tell him how much you missed him and hit him nonstop because even when you’re still so into him, you were hurt too, and this situation was so out of your hands.

“I’d liked your speech. It was good.”

You wanted to tell him that you hadn't done it alone, but why would you do that? You didn't answer.

“You’re still writing?”

This time, you denied it almost instinctively. The truth is, you didn't want to give additional information to, in a way, a stranger, but you had already screwed up. “No. A long time ago I-“ stopped when you left, but of course you kept quiet.

When it was about Yoongi and whether you thought about the young you who loved that person in front of you so much and how dependent you were on someone who didn't care how you felt, it made you feel so stupid. And it didn't really make sense because you were young and inexperienced, and you had an important bond, so of course you will be hurt, you had more compassion than resentment. But still,

“-just don’t do it anymore.”

You didn't want to feel that weak again. He nodded.

“Why haven't you left if you don't want to be here?” You changed the topic. You weren't looking at him, but you felt his attention return to you, and he responded with his silence, then you looked up, and he avoided you again. “You're still not a party guy?” He didn't respond again, knowing that you knew the answer, so you smiled. “Yeah, you weren't either back then.” You say that just for yourself.

“I want to, though. Hyung it’s happy, and I haven't seen my family in a long time. My dad told me he was waiting for my wedding too. I stayed so maybe the event convinced me.”

“Your dad?” He nodded in disbelief as well. “That doesn’t sound like your dad. And also, the event?” A snort left your mouth as he looked at you, nodding. “ I don’t think it’s just about the event, you know?”

“Yeah. He told me that too.”

You laughed this time. You like that men.

“That doesn’t sound like him either.”

“I know.”

You missed Yoongi’s parents. They were so different from yours.

“You were, I remember.”

“What.”

“A party person. I always went with you and watched you dance because I didn't like it. Then we would leave late and buy ice cream at the convenience store downtown because you always craved some.” You nodded, trying to manage the pain that the memory caused you. “I've never seen you cry in one before.”

You played with the ice that was left, because the question was not directly a question, it was more of a mention, perhaps so as not to ignore what just happened. He knew you wouldn't answer and that you shouldn't either. You wrinkled your nose, uncomfortable.

“Where do you learn all of it?”

 

Containment, you meant.

 

“Hm.” He took a second. “These ten years have been interesting.” A laugh, and you try your best again. “I saw a member of our staff do it to Jungkook once, the first time. We were very young, but I’ve never forgotten it in case it happened again. It happened a couple of times after that, so I… know.”

And it's as if the anguish you had come back to you once you touched where his hands were for the first time in 10 years, and you had to close your eyes just because you felt upset. You didn't want to be there, you remembered. Not only because you didn't want to see him, but because you didn't feel well, and you put him over your emotions again.

Fucking hell.

“Your brother it’s looking for you.” You nodded, opening your eyes slightly.

“Of course he is…” you murmured, overwhelmed, trying to stand up. But you were feeling bad again, so you waited a little.

“Do you want me to-“

“No.”

You didn't know why you were so angry all of a sudden. Your heart was beating again, you started to feel warm even though the place was quite cold because of how big it was, and you were actually grateful that they cared about you, but you had spent all those months feeling like a burden to others.

You tried not to cause too many problems, you didn't want that kind of attention, especially after having been living alone, away from your family for so long, to live with them again. You went from making your own food to your mother having to sit next to you so you could eat something. From leaving early to work to not even knowing what time it was. From calling them to tell them good things, to having to pretend to sleep so as not to receive questions you didn't want to answer. You couldn't take care of yourself, it was something that you were having a hard time facing, because you wanted to do it, to be well so as not to be the burden of your family, but the pain you had was still just as big, and heavy, and it enveloped your entire chest. Squeezing. It didn't let you swallow, speak, cry, or breathe.

You were crying again. This time in silence, you didn't care that Yoongi was watching you in silence too, not knowing what to do.

"Where's the… dump thing you bought.”

He reacted a little slowly but quickly, searching for it, taking it out of his jacket pocket. You nodded.

“Can you clean my face, please? I don’t want to look like this when he finds me, and he will if I go to the bathroom right now.”

That one seemed to get him out of somewhere, because it did take him longer to process the information. He was standing with the towels in his hand and blinking, almost like a cat, a confused one. He didn't say anything, and you didn't think you had said anything wrong, so you got scared, and you wondered if maybe you, in fact, said something wrong.

“I can try, though. You don’t-“

“I’ll do it.”

He sits on the coffee table in front of you. You can smell his strong and manly cologne, and if you raised your eyes to his face enough, you could see him up close, closer than you had for many years again. Older, smelling that way, his marked features but you didn't. Of course not.

You close your eyes.

The two of you were silent, and it took you a few minutes to begin to feel the softness with which he ran over your face, the left side of your cheek, extremely light, almost afraid to touch you. You opened your eyes, and he wasn't looking where he was supposed to clean.

He looked at your face, carefully, perhaps making sure it was really you who was in front of him. He stopped his hand when your eyes connected, and it lasted only a few seconds, but you felt so much tension that you even doubted if it was wrong for you to pretend as if you didn't have things to talk about, before having any kind of contact. Whatever it was.

After that, he looked at you with pity.

The last one that night, you decide.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

You were stronger than him when it came to holding a gaze. He has always been the first to escape, which is why your gaze was very intense, heavy, and powerful. You could do it because you felt it was the most honest way to know if someone could handle you.

“Sorry.”

Yoongi had never been able to look at you for more than five seconds.

He resumed his work with the same smoothness. The music returned to your ears, and you returned to your place, to your life, to the now and to how your body was screaming to get out of there. You closed your eyes, chest tight and hands tense, trying to control their shaking.

You have bigger things to cry about right now than this. You had done it for a long time now; you had no more tears to cry for Min Yoongi, no reason to be nervous anymore, and no reason why you couldn't live in peace anymore.

“I’m sorry about Kija.” His voice was smooth, almost lullaby. He sounds nervous too, and just because of that, your response was also automatic. If it had been genuine, you would have had another panic attack right there.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

‘You are grieving. Don't expect anything better. Let us help you’

 

They were all grieving too.

 

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t- I didn’t know.”

There. Was there when you wanted to scream and punch him so hard enough to make him feel guilty.

“What do you mean.” To be honest, it doesn't even surprise you. You sensed it, but you had the small hope that he saw it… at least. “I texted you. Jae- he give me your number. I was waiting for you at his funeral.”

“Y/N…”

“It’s okay.”

 

You said instead. Yoongi looked terrified.

 

“I-“ he cut himself. “…was-“

You take his hand softly, stopping him. “It’s okay, Yoongi.”

“Wait.” One of his hands is on your wrist, preventing you from getting up. You didn't feel good, but you would do anything to get out of there. Still, you sat back down because you didn’t expect it.

“I’m sorry.”

 

Three.

 

The only thing you could hear was your heart beating; everything went quiet, and the words went away, an echo.

“It’s” You were far enough away to miss his scent or to see his new appearance. It was as if he disappeared into the darkness. “okay.”

And it was okay, not because that was exactly how it was, but because it didn't matter. It was okay because it didn't matter if he responded or not, he didn't have to. You were the one who was doing wrong by continuing to trust someone who had already failed you many times, and now you were choosing not to fall for anything sure.

It was okay, because there was no important bond that bonded you two, and allowed you to do bad things where there was nothing good to destroy.

And it was okay, because you simply didn't want to continue having him in front of you, talking about one of the most important people in your life, and seeing how he looked at you with pity. So it was okay.

 

But Yoongi had said sorry three times that day, and he hadn't been able to genuinely fix any of them.

—————————•。・. ゜・。_______________

teaser masterlist two

—————————•。・. ゜・。_______________

[nctinkverse]

Promissa Redux

Pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

Genre: mature, smut, angst, fluff, minors dni.

Preview and plot warnings (I will update as I go): dad Jaehyun, pregnancy, MC is a mom, mature, slow burn, excessive angst, abundant plot, and probably way too much dialogue, exes to lovers, Jaehyun 's family is in this (at least as I imagine they might be), a lot of intimacy, explicit content, swearing, alcohol consumption, mention of exes, heavy make-out session and annoying co-workers.

WC Preview: 1000

WC Total: Not sure, probably it will be 5.000 - 10.000?

Chapter 1 - Shattered promises & Broken vows. Chapter 2 - Valentines Day.

Chapter 3 - One call away is not close enough.

SYNOPSIS: Most of the fairy tales and romance novels, it all seems perfect after the happily ever after. But what if some stories started at the end?

Well not the end per se, nobody was dying.

But you always questioned, do princess get a divorce?

Do female main characters give up the man they fought to love after so many chapters?

At 32 years of age, divorced, mom to an incredible 5-year-old girl who was the greatest thing you and the love of your life ever did, you thought again about the same questions you had when you were 14 and your parents got divorced.

Jung was your last name for 2 years, Mrs. Jung was your title and you loved it, he was sweet, loving, an amazing father and so good to you in bed that you never forgot truly what it felt like to be loved by him.

Your story stated way past the end, the not so happily ever after.

It didn’t have many twists and turns like a superhero movie that keeps you hanging at the edge of your seat for the next plot twist.

In your mind, life was already full of uncertainties, hard decisions, mistakes and paying the price for choosing paths.

Life itself was already hard enough without the responsibilities of superpowers.

So how you ended up thinking about all that again at 32 years old, while holding an engagement ring box you found on your lover’s pocket while picking it up of the floor, it was something you will have to find the answers, probably soon.

------------------------Preview----------------------------------------

You were fast asleep when the phone rang. The name on the screen making you jump, why is he calling at this hour? This can’t be a good thing.

Immediately you laid your back on the headboard and answered the call.

"Hi."

"Jaehyun, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no…" You let out a relieved breath, being half asleep making you grumpy.

"Good lord, Jaehyun, it's 4 a.m!" You said, raising your voice a little.

"Oh shoot… um sorry… I didn’t check for the time zones. I should have called another –

You interrupted his rambling. He’s not usually someone to call, he could just spill so you can go back to sleep.

"Jae, spill, what’s the gossip, huh?"

He let out a little laugh since the gossip joke was an old one between you two.

"No gossip, but I do have something."

"Clearly, it's something good or you wouldn’t be calling on impulse, spill, Jaehyun."

"Yeah right…" He hesitated a bit, his telltale sign usually being him coughing even though there was nothing wrong with his voice. "I got sent this script for this movie, they want me as the main male character..." He hesitated again, which made you ask.

"Jaehyun, what did you do?"

"I sent a copy of the script to your mailbox."

You could feel your sleepiness going away as you scolded him.

"Jaehyun, are you nuts? You can’t ship stuff like this in the mail! What if it gets –"

"It got delivered today." He interrupted, making you stop your thinking.

Scrambling for a thought since he didn’t elaborate, you asked.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with it?! I’m not a male actor, Jung."

"Read, dummy, read."

"And do what?"

"Tell me if you want it."

You opened your mouth to be obnoxious, pointing out the obvious, but Jaehyun must have listened to your 'I’m about to give you an earful' breath and went first.

"Listen, it’s an amazing script, just like the ones you used to want to work on. There’s an opening for a cinematographer, and I know you’re a hell of a good one, so if you want, it’s yours." He said in one breath, probably afraid you would interrupt again.

But from all he said, this part really got you confused.

"What do you mean it’s mine?"

"I showed the director your profile and portfolio, and he said yes."

"Fuck, Jaehyun." You didn’t know what to say since he was never one to interfere in your personal life since the D word.

"You’re sleepy, and I know how grumpy you can be at this hour, so… I still have to tell you two more things, the job is in the states, probably 3-4 months of filming, and I am supposed to give an answer on the male character in 48 hours. We would have to work together, and we would probably have to strike a deal with my parents since we can’t pull Junnie out of school, so…"

You understood what he said, but you needed at least a cup of coffee to process it. But before you could say anything, he went off again.

"I can give it up if you want." He said almost like a whisper.

"Give what up?"

"The character."

"You didn’t like it?"

"No, but –

You interrupted again.

"So, if you do like it, why would you give it up?" It made no sense to you.

"For you –"

It still didn’t make sense why he would give it up.

"Give it up for ME?"

"I like it, Y/N, but this script has you written all over it… and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by being there."

Now you got him, yet he was about the last person in this world who could make you uncomfortable.

"Yuno…" You said in a softer tone.

You heard his breath and a soft "yeah?"

"I don’t hate you." You stated in your most soft yet firm tone, it was one of the things he must not forget about you two.

"I know, Y/N, I know."

"I am going to read it and think about what you said, ok? Don’t do anything hasty."

"Ok, I will let you go back to sleep."

"I’m not sleeping after all this, you know right?" You said, letting out a small huff.

"I know."

"What I am about to do is getting up, making some coffee and grabbing the script out of my mailbox, does it sound good to you?" You were being just a bit playful.

"It does, love."

That word made you warm like butter melting on a frying pan. Still, that wasn’t something out of the ordinary for him to call you. So, you let it slide.

"Well, for sure it’s better than staying in bed tossing and turning."

He let out a small giggle, he knew you were one of those to fight a lot with your bed at night.

"Good morning, love."

"Good afternoon to you?" You didn’t know what timezone he was on, so you tried.

"Try again." He said with a smiling voice.

"Good night!" You said like you had guessed the lottery numbers.

He let out a giggle sound and said, "Give little Nari 1000 kisses from me, will you?

"Why just a thousand?" You said with a little pout. You could hear his playful tone.

"Don’t you know our daughter? She might ask for in real life a thousand kisses; since you are the closest parent, you might fall victim to it, so I think that’s a great number for kisses."

You both giggled, Jung Nari, the lily to our garden, was at that phase where hyperboles would be a tough concept for her to grasp.

"Ok, fine." You agreed still giggling.

"I will call… stay safe."

"You too, Jaehyun."

"Bye."

"Bye."

And the line went silent.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

chapter xix – gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 4,700+

masterlist

After the meeting of the High Lords, Y/N didn’t see Eris for quite some time. He was bogged down with his duties. And Y/N could only assume he was barely eating or sleeping with the amount of work he was dealing with. Her stomach sank at the idea of Eris not taking care of himself. Someone needed to make sure he was doing both of those things. 

However, Y/N’s usual schedule of breakfast, training, and library continued. 

But on this morning, Lucien came to her after training. 

“Would you like to go riding with me?” He asked as Y/N drank water. 

The Weapons Master had already exited the training grounds, leaving her exhausted and alone. Well, not really alone. For she had two of the smoke hounds as her guards and company still.

They now eyed Lucien wearily, not appreciating how close he was getting to their master's mate. 

But Y/N’s eyes beamed with the question. “Really?” 

Lucien tried not to tease her for being so excited. In actuality, he felt guilty for such a simple thing clearly bringing her such joy. If he had known that, he would’ve asked long ago. 

He studied her current state. “Yes, really. Perhaps you would like to change before doing so?”

Y/N looked down at herself. She was covered in mud and dirt. And what couldn’t be seen, but surely smelt, was the sweat she’d released from all her training. There was even a few cuts and scrapes across her hands and arms from little nicks she’d received while sparring. 

“Yes, perhaps I should clean myself up first…” Y/N mumbled as her face got hot with embarrassment. 

Half an hour later, Y/N appeared from her bedchambers freshly bathed. Her hair was still wet, but braided. And she wore a riding outfit that Lucien was sure the handmaidens had helped her pick out. 

“S-Sorry to keep you waiting,” Y/N quickly muttered, only able to look at the ground as she shut her bedchamber door behind her. 

“It wasn’t long at all,” Lucien tried to tell her. 

They hurried to the stables, which Y/N had no complaint about.

Two horses were already saddled and waiting for them when they reached the royal barn. A stableboy had both reigns in his hands. 

“What’s this?” Lucien asked, pointing to a bow and quiver of arrows strapped to one of the saddles. 

The stableboy seemed embarrassed and wouldn't look Lucien in the eye when he answered. “The High Lord demanded that Lady Y/N never go on horseback without at least two weapons on her saddle. I am just following orders, my lord.” 

Y/N smirked and stepped toward the horse that was now very obviously hers. It was a stark white gelding, covered in muscles, but held a kindness in his eyes as he greeted Y/N. 

“What’s his name?” Y/N asked the stableboy. 

“Aengus, my lady.” 

“Aengus,” Y/N muttered to the horse with a smile as she softly stroked his face. 

The stableboy cleared his throat awkwardly. “The High Lord also stated that Lady Y/N is not to leave the estate without an escort.” 

“And what am I then?” Lucien snapped. 

Y/N chuckled as she easily lifted into the saddle. “Lucien, don’t start.” Then she turned to the stableboy. “That is fine. But may they remain behind us?”

The stableboy looked relieved at having her support. “Yes, Lady Y/N. Only five will be joining you. They will meet you at the gates.” 

“And what is your name?” Y/N asked sweetly. 

“Cian, Lady Y/N.”

“Thank you, Cian. We will be seeing much more of each other now. Perhaps I can help you brush the horses after we return.” 

He smiled and bowed his head. “Of course, Lady Y/N.” 

She leaned down to stroke Aengus’ neck. “Ready for some fun?” She whispered. 

The white gelding neighed happily and stomped his feet, proving just how ready he was. 

Y/N turned to Lucien, “They will learn quickly that they need to keep up.”

And then she whistled, signaling Aengus to make his escape. The horse quickly jolted into a gallop out of the gates.

It only took Lucien a second or two to follow, but even that made him fall far behind. 

He hoped Eris didn’t hear about this little stunt, because it would be him that he reprimanded. Cauldron knew Eris would never scold Y/N for anything. Lucien couldn’t even imagine his brother so much as slightly raising his voice at his beloved mate. 

——

Y/N looked to the right to see one of their Autumn guards 50 yards or so off to the side of them. A guard was placed the same distance in all directions of them, putting her and Lucien in their perimeter of safety. If anyone sought to hurt them, they’d have to go through one of the guards before ever reaching them. 

Y/N and Lucien slowed their horses to a brisk walk. 

“How did you know I would want to go on a ride?” She asked. 

Lucien smirked. “Eris said you love horses.” 

“I said that to him once, in passing, when he was still but a stranger.” Y/N shook her head. “Yet he remembers all my words as if they hold such weight.” 

“Because they do,” Lucien countered. 

Y/N ignored him. 

“You know, if you let him get to know you more, he could remember more than just the things you say in passing…”

Y/N’s head whipped around to glare him. “Really? You of all people want to make such comments to me? You flee from your mate every chance you get.” 

“That is not fair and you know it, Y/N. I tried with Elaine more times than I can count – far before you ever joined our ranks, might I add. She wants nothing with me.” 

“And perhaps that is her right,” Y/N growled. 

Lucien cocked an eyebrow. “That wasn’t your tune when you were unaware of having your own mate…” 

Y/N halted her horse to glare into his eyes. 

And he couldn’t help but feel guilty when she did it. 

“Stay out of it, Lucien.” She grumbled before whistling, signaling Aengus into a gallop back to the Forest House. 

Their fun had been ruined, all thanks to Lucien.

The guards quickly followed after her, not bothering to make sure Lucien was with them. But he already knew they weren’t there for him anyway. 

——

Y/N cantered through the gates of the estate and up to the Forest House to find that Eris was saddling his own horse.

And there were nearly thirty sentries already mounted and waiting for their High Lord. 

Eris immediately turned when she halted Aengus just a few yards from him. 

“Where are you off to?” Y/N asked through heavy breaths. She’d pushed Aengus to his highest speed as she’d made her escape from Lucien. 

“Visiting the surrounding villages,” Eris answered. 

Then Y/N’s guards caught up. The High Lord glared at them, noting how they let his mate get away from them. It was obvious that would be discussed when Y/N was out of earshot. 

“May I come?” Y/N blurted out before she could stop herself. 

Eris blinked, evidently taken aback by her request. 

“I promise I will keep to myself,” she added quickly, as if her very presence would be a burden to him. 

Eris frowned, not at her, but at the idea that she could ever see herself as such a burden. “That will not be necessary. You may join me, if that really is your wish. Though I worry the day will bore you…” 

Y/N beamed at his admission. “Oh, I would never find it boring! I have been wanting to see the villages of Autumn. I have read so much about them!” 

Eris tilted his head. “Read?”

But before she could answer or mentally scold herself for saying too much, Lucien came galloping over to them. 

“You are supposed to stay with her,” Eris growled. 

“You try keeping up with her,” his youngest brother shot back with exasperation. “Cauldron, she rides like the wind.” 

But Y/N ignored him, acting as if he weren't even there. And of course Eris caught it.

He ignored his youngest brother as he mounted. “We must leave now to make it back before dark.” 

Lucien glanced back and forth between his brother and Y/N. “She’s going with you?” 

“Yes,” Eris answered with boredom in his tone. “And you are staying here.” 

If his mate was annoyed with his brother, then he would choose her side.

Lucien scoffed. But rode back towards the royal stables. Clearly he didn’t wish to accompany them that badly, for he didn’t even put up a fight. 

“Is this some trick?” Eris asked Y/N quietly, so no one else could hear. “Do you intend to make your escape?

Y/N smiled and leaned toward him. “Guess you will have to wait and see.” 

—

The Forest House was now just a small structure in the distance behind them. Y/N watched it get smaller and smaller before turning back to Eris. 

He wouldn’t leave her side since they left the estate, choosing to ride right alongside her. 

“May I ask perhaps a silly question?” She asked. 

Eris nodded. 

“Why do we not just…winnow to the village?” 

He smirked at her. “It is a fair question. But there are many who reside between the Forest House and Falanaird. I wish to see how even the smallest homes are fairing.” 

Then his smirk grew to a full smile that was almost mischievous. “Besides, the village would be in a panic if their new High Lord appeared before them out of nowhere. I thought it would be better to give them a fair warning of my arrival. By the time we are a few miles out, someone will have alerted them of my presence.” 

Y/N grinned at him. “We are going to Falanaird. I have heard it is quite beautiful…”

Eris narrowed his eyes. “How do you know of Falanaird, little witch?”  

Y/N felt her face heat at his pet name for her. If anyone else used it, she was sure it would irritate her. But coming from him, it only felt sweet. 

But she remained quiet. 

Eris persisted. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your reading you mentioned, would it?”

“I have been reading about the histories of Autumn Court,” Y/N finally admitted quietly. “After training, I go to one of the libraries and read.” 

“What for?” Eris asked.

Y/N laughed. “To learn about your home, of course. Why else?” 

Before Eris could fully let that settle in, she sat up straighter in her saddle and pointed in the distance. “Look!” When he followed her gaze, she was pointing to two small fae children who were standing at the gate of their little cottage, staring at the High Lord’s traveling company with mesmerized expressions

When Eris locked eyes with them, they gasped in fear and ducked behind the fence. 

“They are only little ones,” Y/N scolded when she saw that Eris had a dark look. “There’s no need to intimidate them.” 

Eris blinked, realizing it was a habit that had been ingrained in him for centuries to intimidate any and all who looked upon him. 

But he knew Y/N was right. What good would it be, having children fear him? 

The High Lord let out a sharp whistle, and the entire company came to a halt. 

He jumped off his horse and moved to a small wagon that had been trailing in the back. His reached into a basket. When his hand reappeared, Y/N realized he had grabbed two cookies from what she now realized was a wagon full of food. 

Eris walked to the edge of the fence where the two young ones were hiding on the other side. 

They slowly peaked over it when they heard his approach. 

“No need to fear,” Y/N heard Eris mutter to them. “We are only passing through.” 

With slow hands, each of them reached out to take his offering. And their eyes lit up when they realized what he was handing them. 

They screeched, “Thank you!” And then ran off in a fit of giggles, surely to eat their cookies before their parents could find out and reprimand them. 

Eris then returned to his horse as if nothing happened. And the company continued without questioning or even looking quizzically at their High Lord. 

But Y/N wasn’t going to let it go unnoticed. “I like when you let others see your kindness, Eris.” 

He refused to look at her as he responded with, “I only did it because you went out of your way to guilt me…”

Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes. Of course.”

—

They finally reached Falanaird about an hour later. 

Someone had clearly done as Eris suspected, and warned the entire city of their High Lord’s surprise visit. 

Y/N saw the tension fill Eris’ entire posture as everyone stared. He couldn’t sit any straighter in his saddle. She could see his internal struggle of trying to figure if he should be stern and cold as their leader or break the cycle and lead with kindness and integrity. 

They stopped to dismount. 

“Hold your arm out,” Y/N whispered to him hurriedly. 

He looked at her with confusion. 

“They are scared of you,” she hissed. “Offer me your arm. Trust me.”

To her surprise, Eris did as she said. Like a gentleman, his left arm was held out and Y/N gently placed her hand on his bicep. She noted how thick and strong the muscles were there. 

A red-brown haired male came to greet them. 

“Lord Callum,” Eris greeted formally. 

Callum bowed his head deeply. “To what do we owe the pleasure, High Lord?”

“I am surveying the cities of Autumn Court. Much has been ignored these past centuries. I plan to remedy that with a tour of my court.” 

Callum didn’t hide his surprise at such a gesture. Then his gaze shifted briefly to Y/N. “I see you have graced us with the heroin that is your mate.” Then he bowed at her and greeted her with, "Lady Y/N."

Y/N gave him a shy but warm smile. But she promised Eris she would stay quiet and she was not at all versed in political conversations, especially ones at a royal level. 

“Y/N was rather excited to hear we were visiting Falanaird,” Eris answered. Then he looked down at her with an encouraging look. “Weren’t you?” 

Y/N nervously cleared her throat before saying, “Yes! I heard Falanaird is responsible for the best harvests in all of Prythian. I was excited to see the city for myself.” 

Callum seemed to straighten with pride as such a compliment. “You honor us, Lady Y/N.” 

“Let us discuss the needs of the city, Lord Callum.” Eris commanded. 

Callum bowed his head and gestured for them to walk into the city. 

“Make sure to keep that kindness in your eyes,” Y/N whispered to Eris when everyone else around them was distracted. 

Eris’ face immediately softened with her instruction. But he kept Y/N on his arm as they were guided through the city. 

Callum gave Eris detailed updates on various businesses and citizens of Falanaird. Eris rarely interrupted and when he did, it was to ask for more details on certain matters. 

“And how are the crops fairing this season? I know with the last, there was some issues that my father had little patience for.” 

“Aye,” Callum agreed darkly. “The eggplants and carrots are suffering. The creek used to direct water to the beds has been misdirected and we have been unable to fix it permanently.” 

Eris frowned but nodded.

“What is blocking the creek?” Y/N asked suddenly. 

“A giant pine tree, Lady Y/N. It then flows into a river that we have built an irrigation system for those specific crops.” 

Y/N looked to Eris before continuing. He seemed both amused and curious as to where she was going with her question. 

“Could you take us to it?” She continued shyly. 

“The ground is muddy and no place for a lady,” Callum tried to warn her. 

Y/N smirked before teasing him with, “Worried about getting mud on your nice clothing, Lord Callum? I will survive.”

They hiked through a nearby forest to get to the creek Callum referenced. Eris moved Y/N’s hand from the crook of his arm and laced their fingers instead to help her through the hills and mud. She knew he would never let her fall or so much as trip. 

“We have tried to use fire wielders to incinerate it, but the wood is too moist,” Callum explained. 

“I guess it is a good thing your High Lord is here then?” Y/N answered with a smile. Then she turned to Eris. “If I remove the water, can you set the fallen tree alight?” 

Eris nearly scoffed at the question. “I can destroy it even without your efforts.”

Y/N laughed. “Then by all means…” 

With the wave of his hand, Eris set the tree into flames. Even from their distance, Y/N could feel the warmth of it. 

Through his magic, the tree was nothing but ash in just a few seconds. 

However, the creek was still too low to move the water where it needed to go. 

Y/N stepped forward quietly and then kneeled. She looked at the water as if she were about to have a conversation with it. 

Slowly, she started chanting in a whisper. It was once again a language Eris did not know or understand.

But the water started rippling. He heard crashing of water in the distance, and a mini-monsoon of waves came rushing from the creek’s source, filling it up to the brim. 

Callum looked on in awe. Some of their escorts even let out quiet gasps.

Y/N looked up at the sky. 

Everyone stood behind her, but Eris was at her side. So only he saw when her eyes glazed over in white, like they had on the night they’d killed Beron. 

She chanted again. It seemed to echo through the forest. Like nature was chanting back. 

Thunder cracked over them. 

And then the next second, rain started pouring. 

Callum smiled up as the storm soaked him. 

Y/N turned to him. “Hopefully that does it.”

“Thank you, Lady Y/N. You do not know the miracle you have bestowed upon us.” 

Then he watched on as Eris immediately removed his cloak to cover Y/N’s head and protect her from the rain. 

“Follow me,” Callum said. “There is an inn where you can seek shelter.” 

Eris grabbed her hand again, hurrying them to follow Callum. 

But when they reached an inn at the edge of the forest, the two of them were already soaked. 

Y/N giggled from the ridiculousness, especially when she looked up at Eris to find how irritated he seemed about being wet. 

Without realizing what she was doing, she stepped forward to brush some stray hair off his face and behind his ear. 

“Shall we have a drink?” She asked his sweetly. 

And just like that, Eris’ irritation disappeared and he smiled down at his mate. 

He nodded and nudged his head at the barstools in the tavern that was the bottom floor of the inn. 

His sentries were close on their heels, eyeing the patrons who had already been in the tavern upon their arrival. 

“Keep your distance,” Eris commanded. “I do not need you breathing down my neck.” 

They did as he said, grabbing tables and taking standing posts far enough away that they wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop on their High Lord’s conversation. 

The bartender clearly recognizes Eris, but didn't let it stop his gruff and abrupt attitude when he asked them what they wanted to drink. 

He slammed two giant mugs of ale in front of them, and then left them alone. 

“I see you have more clever tricks up your sleeve, little witch.” 

Y/N frowned a bit. “If I am being honest, they come as a surprise to me, as well.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Ever since that day you found me in the woods…something new has come to the surface. Something…powerful.” Her brow furrowed as her eyes glazed over and she remembered her last days in Night Court. “I almost killed Azriel when we were sparring. I summoned a lightning strike and it almost hit him.” 

Eris smirked. “It would have been a cause for celebration.” 

Y/N pinched his arm. “That is not funny!” 

But Eris’ amusement disappeared as he said, “I will not forgive him for what he did to you. You should have given him your wrath.” 

Y/N stared down into her ale. “The wind said you threatened him when you found out he forgot about me. I guess…I guess it makes sense now that I know our…umm…connection.” 

Eris watched her a moment before he answered. “Well, he would be dead if I did not care about how upset it would make you.” 

Y/N’s face got hot at his confession. So she distracted herself by looking around at the tavern. It was cozy and the light was colored in oranges and reds, only being lit by a hundred candles and two roaring fireplaces. 

“What are your thoughts on Falanaird?” Eris asked after a moment.

“It is beautiful,” Y/N answered immediately. 

“It is no Velaris,” he pointed out. Then a tiny bit of hope sparked in his eyes as he locked gazes with her and added, “But perhaps one day it could be.” 

“Or perhaps…” she replied slowly, “it will be better.”

Eris looked out the window as the rain pelted the glass harshly. “How long did you make it rain for?”

Y/N shrugged and looked a bit embarrassed. “I have not a clue.” 

He laughed. “We could be here all night.” 

“Good thing we’re already at an inn.”

Both their minds went to the scandalous implication of what she may have meant. 

But then Eris remembered what Feyre had once shared with him, what Y/N had confessed to her about her past lovers. And he couldn’t stop the darkness from taking over his face. His grip tightened dangerously on his ale. 

Unfortunately, Y/N interpreted Eris’ sudden shift as his disinterest in the idea of ever sharing a room with her at an inn. 

“Why have you been researching Autumn Court in the libraries?” 

“Library,” she corrected. “Singular.” 

He narrowed his gaze. “You know what I mean. Stop evading my question.” 

Y/N sighed. “I live here now, do I not? I figured I should learn about its history.”

“And you did the same for the Night Court when you lived there?” 

She opened and closed her mouth. “Well…umm n-no, actually.”

Eris looked out the windows again. “Thank you…for your help today, Y/N.” 

“You’re the one who burnt down that giant tree as if it were nothing.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he quickly told her. 

Y/N swallowed, sensing that he was going to say something that would make her heart skip a beat. 

“I find it…difficult deciding who I am supposed to be as High Lord of this court. I do not want to be my father, that I am sure of. But after centuries of wearing a mask…it’s harder to take it off than I ever could have imagined.”

She nodded. 

Eris stared at her a moment before finally confessing, “I find it easier with you at my side. That is what I am thanking you for.” 

Y/N reached for his hand, softly covering it. “Kindness is not a weakness. Just like cruelness does not equate to strength.” 

“Even Rhysand wears a mask to control his subordinates,” Eris argued. “I have seen his charades at the Court of Nightmares.” 

Y/N watched him with confusion. “But why compare yourself to him?” 

“You have seen the headway he’s made as High Lord. His true court is made up of dreamers, not high-borns given power by birthright alone. He has assured female Illyrians have the same opportunities to train as males, and tried his hardest to put a stop to wing clipping. The citizens of Velaris do not fear him, they respect him. How am I not to compare myself?” 

“That is his legacy, not yours.” She urged. “You have only been High Lord for a month, Eris. Give yourself time. You have plenty of it.”  

But Eris said nothing in return, only got lost in his internal battle of self loathing and unrealistic expectations he has put on himself. 

Y/N leaned forward. “Do you know why I insisted that Callum shows us the empty creek? Because I knew you could fix it. And what your people need to see is that you care – about them, about their cities. They need to see that you do not believe you are above their troubles.”

She leaned back. “So you go to village after village in Autumn Court, and you show them that you care.” 

Eris could stop his beaming from her words. “You will come with me?”

Because what did any of this matter if she didn’t?

Eris was starting to realize he couldn’t do any of it without her. 

“And when it is safe for you to leave?”

Y/N frowned at such a subject being brought up. 

She nodded toward the windows. “It has stopped raining.” 

One of his sentries approached. “High Lord, we should start our journey back to the Forest House before it gets too late.” 

Eris reached into his pocket for coins to pay the bartender. 

“Don’ botha,” the bartender spat his his thick accent. “It’s on the ‘ouse.” Then his eyes shifted between the two of them as he dried a glass. “For riddin’ us o’ that favver o’ yours. The both o’ yer.”

When they got outside, someone had already brought their horses for them. 

Y/N tried to return Eris’ cloak to him, quietly handing it to him. The thick fabric was damp for their attempt at shielding her from the rain.

Eris took it, lightly blew on it, and handed it right back to her. 

Y/N eyes widened in surprise when she found that it was completely dry and also warm like it had been sitting by a fire for hours. 

“Keep it,” he instructed firmly. “The sun is setting within the hour.”  

—

They were only 20 or so minutes from the Forest House when Eris saw Y/N’s head bob from falling asleep. 

Her horse, Aengus, kept moving closer and closer to Eris, as if he was worried for his rider and was making sure Eris would be able to catch Y/N if she fell off. 

She was in an exhausted and delirious daze. She could hear the conversations around her. But they felt unreal, like she was in a dream or sleepwalking. 

“Should we move her to the wagon to sleep, High Lord?” One of the guards asked quietly, as if he feared waking her. 

“That won’t be necessary.”

Then Y/N, half asleep, felt a tug on the right side of her saddle. A large mass mounted her horse and pulled themselves behind her in the saddle.

But she recognized Eris’ scent and warmth immediately, stopping her from startling and fully waking up. 

“You were falling asleep in your saddle, little witch. And at risk of falling right off your horse,” Eris whispered in her ear. “Go back to sleep.” 

His arms reached around her, taking her reigns and also caging in her body protectively. 

And she did just that, leaning back against her mate and falling into a deep sleep now that she knew she would be safe from falling off her horse. 

What she didn’t think about was that Eris could have easily winnowed both of them home. She would never put together that her mate finds any way to extend their time together – even if it existed as her falling asleep against his strong chest and he rode them home safely. 

Y/N barely stirred when they returned to the Forest House and Eris gently pulled her from the saddle, landing on the ground with her in his arms. 

His footsteps echoed down the halls.

“Cauldron, what happened?” She recognized Leonora’s worried voice in her sleep. 

“She is only sleeping, mother.”

“The poor thing must be exhausted. Waking up at the crack of dawn to train herself nearly to the point of collapsing. Only for you to force her on a trip to Falanaird afterward.”

Eris sighed. “She insisted. I am going right to the Weapons Master after putting her to bed to tell him their lessons are canceled tomorrow. She needs rest.” 

“Perhaps you should take the day, too.” Leonora urged. “Together.”

--------

Please please please please please please let me know what you think! Be like @pancakefancake

Chapter XX

[mistiell]

Summer of '91

Summary: Eddie teaches your four year old daughter, Thea, how to swim.

Pairing: Dad! Eddie x Mom! Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Thank you to this ask for inspiring this! I meant for this to be a blurb but I got a little carried away lol

---

The summer sun beats down on you from where you're strewn across a sun lounger, beads of condensation weeping off your iced tea where it sits on a little table next to you. Indiana is in the middle of a heatwave, and while the temperatures aren’t quite record breaking, Steve’s been kind enough to offer up his pool to the whole party for the summer.

“Wh– Hey! Keep that shit to yourself!”

A decision he looks like he’s beginning to regret as he defends himself from Dustin and Mike, who are all but beating him with thick pool noodles.

Eddie doesn’t help the situation when he smacks him on the back of the head with his own noodle as he walks towards you, your daughter on his hip and a devious grin lighting up his face, “Language, Harrington. Child on deck.”

The kids (Teenagers now, but they’ll always be kids to you) are quick to gang up on him after that in a chorus of, “yeah, Steve”’s that make Thea giggle, her little cheeks dimpling with her smile.

“Yeah, Steve!” She parrots with her four-and-a-half year old sass that makes you all laugh.

Steve scoffs, but he’s smiling as he gestures toward her, scolding the two boys, “See what you’ve done? You turned her against me!”

Eddie brings his attention to you, grin softening into something less devious, more saccharine as he makes his way over. He bends as much as he's able with Thea in his arms to peck your temple, “Hey, sweet thing.” “Hi, handsome.” You smile, pulling your legs up to sit cross legged and give him space to sit. Your gaze slides over his form, alabaster skin and lean muscle on full display in his black swim trunks. He catches you staring and winks before Thea squirms in his arms, eager hands reaching for you. You’re quick to hook your hands under her armpits and help her onto your lap, “And how are you, Theebie?” “Good! Daddy’s gonna tea-me to swim!” She beams, a few syllables getting lost in her excitement.

“Yeah?” You glance at Eddie, trying to telepathically ask him if he thinks maybe she’s still a little too young. Thankfully, he clocks your apprehension, “Don’t worry, we’re just practicing off the steps first. Right, babes?” 

Thea huffs, looking rather displeased as she nods, “Yes, daddy.”

His smile looks relieved. You think there might have been a bit of a dispute inside while he was getting her into her swimsuit. Like her father, she tends to be rather impatient when learning new things, eager to throw herself into the fun stuff without paying much mind to the basics. Or safety. It’s the latter that tends to get the both of them in trouble.

“You wanna join us?” Eddie asks, palm finding your calf and giving it a squeeze, “Cool off a little?”

Idly running your hand up and down the length of Thea’s arm, you smile, “I’m happy here in the sun.”

His face contorts in exaggerated distaste, “What are you, a lizard? It’s boiling out here.”

You scrunch your nose and stick your tongue out with a little hiss, making them both laugh.

He flicks your knee, “Weirdo.” You scoff and narrow your eyes at him, “If I’m a weirdo, you’re a weirder weirdo for marrying me.” 

His grin is blinding, “The weirdest.”

Having had her fill of affection and chatter, Thea wriggles out of your arms. Sliding off the side of the lounger, her sandaled feet meet the concrete before she takes Eddie’s hand in both of hers and tries to tug him up with all her might, “Come on, daddy! Swim time!” He sighs dramatically and mock-faints, his head landing just shy of your shin as he presses the back of his hand to his forehead. His hair tickles your skin, “I just don’t think I have the strength!”

Thea — half amused, half annoyed — laughs as she continues to tug at his hand, “Get up, daddy! Up!”

“Perhaps,” He starts, all theatrics. Peeking an eye open, he grins at you mischievously, “True love’s kiss will save me.”

You snort and roll your eyes. You’re sure the smile you’re giving him is lovesick, “You’re such a dork.”

“Kiss him, mommy! Re-live him!”

You don’t bother correcting her this time, finding her dedication to this bit too cute. With a great, heaving sigh, you relent, “Fine. I guess I can spare him.” Taking his face in your hands, you bend at the waist to kiss him chastely. You chuckle as you pull back, jostling his head back and forth gently, “Now go! Your daughter’s waiting.”

“Yes, I'm waiting!” She exclaims as he finally lets her pull him up from the lounge chair.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming.” You blow him a kiss as they walk towards the pool. He pretends to catch it and kisses his palm.

Eddie jumps into the water and Thea squeals when the water sloshes over the edge and chills her toes. He wades over to the steps to help her down the first three steps until the water is at her waist before backing up, making sure he’s still close enough that he’ll be able to hoist her up if needed. You can’t make out what they’re saying, but you guess Eddie’s telling her what to do based on the way he’s miming the breaststroke in the air.

You can’t help but smile at the determined set of her brows, as if this is the most important thing she’ll ever do. Eddie opens his arms and beckons her forward, lips moving in what you assume is words of encouragement. She hesitates for a moment, before throwing herself towards him, kicking her little legs as hard as she can. She stays afloat for a moment before kicking turns to flailing and Eddie has to come to her rescue. He sets her back on the third step and wades backward again.

It goes on like that for awhile, each time Thea manages to stay above the water just a little longer.

“She’s doing pretty well, huh?” Steve comments, walking over to recline on the lounger next to yours. 

You hum, taking your eyes off your husband and daughter for a moment to look at him, “She’s been looking forward to this, you know. Been asking to swim in uncle Steve’s pool since the weather got warm enough.”

He tries not to, but he preens, smiling, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You smile back.

“If I’d known, I would’ve invited you over sooner.” 

“I know. I didn’t tell you ‘cause I knew you’d bend over backwards to please her.” You chuckle and he laughs along with you. You both know it’s true. The two of you have been best friends for years, and since the moment he saw Thea after she was born, you knew he’d spoil her rotten if given the chance.

“Mommy! Mom!”

You nearly crick your neck with the speed at which you turn your head toward her, heart lodging in your throat until you see she’s fine, just excited. “What, lovely?” You call back. “Watch!” She turns back to Eddie, who you just now notice is a little further away from her and absolutely glowing with pride.

She practically dives forward, lacking any of the hesitation she’d had only two hours ago. Her movements are a little clumsy, and she doesn’t go very fast, but you watch with bated breath as she swims into her father’s arms, giggling breathlessly when he picks her up and smothers her cheek with kisses. The others cheer for her as Eddie helps her out of the water.

“Oh my gosh, baby, I’m so proud of you!” You beam, opening your arms to her as she rushes towards you. She soaks your own swimsuit when she barrels into you and you lift her up onto your lap, peppering a smattering of kisses over her other cheek.

“Our girl can swim!” Eddie grins as he plops down next to you, roughing up her still damp hair.

“You’re a good teacher.” You nudge his shoulder with yours gently.

He nudges you back and looks back at Thea, “I had a great student.”

She beams, looking very proud of herself.

“Can I have a paw-sicle now?” She asks innocently, and you quirk a brow at a suddenly guilty looking Eddie before turning back to her. “Before dinner?”

“Daddy said he’ll give me a paw-sicle if I try off the steps ‘nd not the side.” She explains

“Popsicle, baby. Not Paw-sicle.” You correct gently.

“Ohh. Popsicle.”

“There you go.” You smile. Eddie simpers when you turn to ask him incredulously, “You bribed your daughter with a popsicle?”

His voice raises half an octave as he shrugs, “Maybe?” 

You half sigh, half laugh as you shake your head at him. 

“Can I have one now?” Thea asks again, growing more impatient by the minute.

You shoot one last half-hearted glare in his direction before nodding, “Okay. Just one, though, alright?” She lights up like a christmas tree and slides off your lap, “Okay! Come on, Daddy!”

He mouths, “Sorry” as she pulls him up off the lounger. Shaking your head, you mouth back, “It’s okay”.

You watch them walk into the house hand in hand with a smile on your face.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Prey | Chapter Eight

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): Murder, Strangling, Mentions Of Torture

It was another one of those sleepless nights for Alastor, which he found to be a reoccurrence as of late. And it was starting to wear on him, effecting much more than his sleep. He was becoming stressed, easily agitated, and worst of all, lacking in motivation.

All early warning signs to what could be the end of his radio show. Just one of the few things that kept him going, that kept what little sanity he had left.

He sighed as he removed his overcoat and tossed it aside, before making his way to the back of the house. He stepped outside and rounded his way to the side of the home, and stopped just before the cellar before him.

There was only one way Alastor rid himself of his stress, and it was down there.

Alastor reached for the key in his pocket and unlocked the latch on the cellar before opening it and walking down. He closed it back, and locked it before continuing down the steps. He made his way through the narrow hall, that all too familiar scent filling his nose.

He made a mental note to do something about that at some point.

Towards the end of the hall, was where he would store his liquors and wines, all stored neatly on shelves built in on the walls to his sides.

He stopped once he reached a large wine cabinet in front of him, just as tall, if not a little taller than himself. Alastor placed both hands on the side of the cabinet and pushed it to the left, until it was fully against the wall. Behind that cabinet, was a door. Wooden, and the color of dark and dusty maroon. The doorhandle was black, and creaked slightly when it was turned.

Alastor stepped inside after unlocking the door. It was pitch black inside the room beyond that door. But not for long.

Alastor took five strides into the room before reaching up, and pulling down at the string hanging down. Suddenly the room was filled with a harsh light, though Alastor had grown use to it by now.

But not the man chained from the ceiling, he flinched as the light hit his eyes. A pitiful groan escape him as he slowly opened his eyes once again. Upon seeing Alastor, he began to scream. Though, his cries would not reach anyone's ears, especially not with that tape around his mouth.

He looked terrible. Multiple bruises and still open wounds littered his body, infected by days of neglect. Alastor took his time with this man. Hate was such a strong emotion for Alastor, he's never truly hated anyone.

Well, aside from his father. Oh how he hated that man...

And the one before him was no better. Alastor hated him. And finally, he had him right where he wanted him.

"Evening, my good man." Alastor spoke, his words seemed friendly, but his tone indicated otherwise. And despite Alastor's smile, he could not be more irritated. A sigh of frustration leaves him as he speaks. "You're causing quite the uproar. Though, I have no idea why anyone would be concerned for the likes of you." He spat.

"Do you treat every woman who works for you like that, or is Y/n special?" Alastor asks, his tone low and cold. "You make me sick. And the only reason you still draw breath, is so I can hopefully relieve myself of the frustration and anger I feel. However..."

Alastor grabs the man by his throat, his nails digging into his flesh as he was jerked towards Alastor. "My rage only grows stronger with every passing day."

Alastor didn't let up when the man groaned and whimpered in pain, as his airways were slowly cutting off.

"And it seems I'm never satisfied with what I do anymore. I've killed plenty before you, and at the start, it was absolutely thrilling. It was thrilling with the first, then the person after, and next, and so on. But..."

Something about Alastor's eyes changed. From once frustrated and angry, now to seemingly desperate.

"It's not enough. I could break you, rip more agonizing screams from your throat, continue this little game within an inch of your life before you finally croak and yet...it brings me no satisfaction." Alastor lets go of his throat.

"It's just...not enough..."

Alastor brought a hand to his face, his mind was so filled with noise that it was starting to give him a headache. He yearned for something, anything to quiet down the noise. He thought he once found it when he started these killings.

But as a recent, the noise had only been growing louder and louder. A light buzz would turn into a ear piercing crackling static in an instant. He didn't know how much more he could take...

Alastor peered at the man through his fingers. A new wave of anger washed over him as he yelled.

"Do not look at me like that!"

The tied up man flinched at the sudden outburst.

"As if you have any right to judge me!" Once again Alastor's hands were at his throat. "Not when you get off on harassing vulnerable young women! Taking advantage of them! All because you are to disgusting and undesirable to get a woman of your own!" His grip tightened, the man tried to thrash away from Alastor, but to no avail.

"Just how long have you been doing that to Y/n!? How many times have you put your filthy hands on her!?" Alastor's hands were shaking from how roughly he was strangling the man.

"Had you scared her into silence!? I bet you have, otherwise I would have done this the very day she had the misfortune of meeting you!"

The gurgle and sharp cracking noise would not reach Alastor's ears as he continued his assault. Alastor didn't know just how long he had his constrictive grasp on that man's throat, until the buzzing noise had finally subsided. He looked at the man silently for a moment, his hands slowly moved away.

Alastor sighed heavily upon realizing the man was long dead. Normally, whenever Alastor had finished his...activities, he'd properly dispose of the body. But right now, all he wanted was a drink strong enough to knock him out.

He shut the lights off before walking out of the room, and shutting the door behind him. He moved the liquor cabinet back into place then grabbing a bottle of the strongest whisky he had.

Alastor then made his way back inside the home, shutting the door behind him before sliding down to the floor. He opened the bottle and took a large swig of the whisky.

Looks like it would truly be one of those sleepless nights yet again.

You were quick to notice Alastor's sudden change in behavior. Sure, he presented himself as fine in front of others. As if he didn't have a care in the world. But you knew better. You could tell there was something wrong, and you couldn't stand by and let him suffer through whatever it was.

You didn't have anything better important to do today, your next show wasn't until later tonight. So, you decided to pay a visit to Alastor at his studio to bring him lunch. You had only been there a few times, as you were always too busy to pay more visits. But some folks remembered you from the times you use to visit, before you got your job at the diner. 

You adjust the small basket you held in your arm as you stepped through the doors, right away you were met with a familiar face.

"Heya Y/n!" Greeted a young woman around your age. She stood from her desk to approach you. Her jet black hair was tied back into a neat bun, her emerald green eyes met your own. Her cheeks dimpled as she smiled.

"I haven't seen you ages! Where have you been?" There was a slight country drawl in her voice as she spoke. 

Her name was Jenny Martins. Her older brother, Joe Martins, worked for the studio for quite a while. In fact, her brother was the one who helped Alastor get a job here.

"Working." You chuckle. "But I should have a lot more free time since I got a new job."

"Oh?" Jenny raises an eyebrow.

"You know Mimzy? I sing at her lounge now." You tell her. "Really?" Jenny eyes widen. "I heard rumors of a fresh face down at that lounge, apparently a lot of people like her. That was you?"

You nod with a proud smile. "Sure is." Jenny smiles. "Well. I'm happy for you pumpkin. You here to see Al?" She asks.

"I am." you decide to keep the reason for your visit to yourself. Alastor was very particular about his reputation and image. His smile gave the impression of a unbothered man, a man in control.

If others knew that image was cracking, well, Alastor would not be very pleased. 

"I haven't the slightest clue why you two haven't dated." Jenny says in a hushed tone. "You two are as close as close can get."

Another thing you kept private. You and Alastor both agreed to keep your relationship a secret. For now at least.

You only shrugged. "We're just friends, Jenny. Nothing more. May I go up?" Jenny nods. "Yep, you can go on ahead. But you got twenty minutes before he has to broadcast again." You thank her before heading up the stairs.

As you made it up to the second level, you were met with Jenny's brother, Joe. "Well, I'll be! Y/n, you finally decide to pay us a visit!" He spoke with the same country accent as his sister. You give him a polite smile. "Sure did. Is Alastor in?"

"Of course, you're here for him." Joe playfully rolls his eyes. "Yes, you go ahead on in. But first, I'd like to know where your pretty face has been."

You chuckle lightly. "Got a job singing at Mimzy's lounge. I really love it, it's a dream come true." You explain. "Is that right?" Joe raises an eyebrow. "Makes sense. Heard some of the boys yapping about a fine young canary down at that ol' lounge. Must be you, hm? It makes too much sense." Joe smirks.

Ah Joe. If it was one thing you didn't miss, it was moments like this. You've always suspected Joe had a bit of a crush on you. But telling from the looks you'd catch from him at times, it was no innocent crush.

"My, is that what they said?" You ask, slightly embarrassed. Joe hums. "Looks like I'm going to have to join them at your next show." Said Joe. You only nod, still a little flustered.

"Alright." Joe laughs. "I won't keep you much longer. Go on in." He nods in the direction of Alastor's recording room. You say your goodbyes before walking away. An exhale left you as soon as you were far enough.

Seems like Joe hasn't changed a bit, the dog. You then put on your best convincing smile before entering the room.

(I forgot to add the tags >.< sorry guys)

Tags-

@martinys-world

@sirens-and-moonflowers

[zapreportsblog]

❝our son is a crybaby❞

✭ pairing : shoto todoroki x reader

✭ fandom : my hero academia x reader

✭ summary : now as a adult shoto has settled down with his crush from high school, gotten married and even started a family with her. Their son though as small as he may be, makes it very clear that he’s a mamas boy. Much like shoto was

✭ authors note : this is pure fluff, oh and please send in some hero academia requests, I would like to start filling up the masterlist with more stories

✭ my hero academia masterlist

The Todoroki household was bathed in the soft glow of morning light, casting a warm and tranquil atmosphere throughout the spacious rooms. Shoto Todoroki, the prodigious number three hero, moved with practiced ease, his mismatched eyes reflecting a calm demeanor that contrasted with his intense exterior. He had faced formidable villains and overcome challenges, but none had prepared him for the newest role he had embraced: that of a father.

(Y/N) Todoroki, his wife and partner, sat in a plush armchair near the window, cradling a small bundle in her arms. Kim Todoroki, their infant son, was a mirror image of his father, with tufts of hair as white as snow and eyes that held the promise of both ice and fire. His tiny fingers curled against (Y/N)'s chest, seeking comfort in her warmth.

Shoto approached (Y/N) with a soft smile, his heart swelling at the sight of his wife and son. "How's our little Kim today?"

(Y/N) looked up, her expression radiant with a mixture of exhaustion and adoration. "He's been quite the handful, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

As if on cue, Kim let out a small, discontented whimper. (Y/N) shifted him in her arms, gently patting his back in an attempt to soothe him. "Hush, my sweet boy. Mama's right here."

It was a testament to Kim's attachment that he seemed most content when he was in (Y/N)'s arms. From the moment he was born, he had displayed an uncanny preference for his mother's presence. Shoto couldn't help but marvel at the strong bond that had formed between them in such a short time.

"I'll take him for a little while," Shoto offered, extending his arms toward his son.

(Y/N) hesitated, her gaze filled with a mixture of affection and concern. "Are you sure? He tends to get fussy when he's away from me."

Shoto nodded, a determined glint in his eyes. "I'd like to give you a break, even if it's just for a little while."

(Y/N) carefully transferred Kim into Shoto's arms, watching closely as he settled their son against his chest. Kim's tiny hands grasped at Shoto's shirt, his large eyes studying his father's face with a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty.

Shoto's heart swelled with a mixture of pride and tenderness. Holding his son, he felt a surge of protectiveness that went beyond his hero training. He walked around the room, murmuring soft words of reassurance to Kim, his voice a steady and soothing presence.

Despite his best efforts, Kim's initial curiosity quickly turned into discontent. His small face scrunched up, and his cries grew louder. Shoto's brows furrowed in concern, his instincts urging him to calm his son.

(Y/N) approached Shoto, her arms outstretched. "It's okay, Shoto. He's just used to being with me. Let me take him."

Relieved, Shoto handed Kim back to (Y/N), watching as their son's cries softened into small whimpers. In his mother's arms, Kim nestled against her, finding the comfort he sought. (Y/N) swayed gently, her soothing whispers filling the room.

Shoto stood by (Y/N)'s side, his hand resting on her back as they shared a quiet moment as a family. The challenges of parenthood were unlike any other, but the love that bound them was unwavering.

"Thank you," (Y/N) whispered, her voice a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude.

Shoto pressed a gentle kiss to (Y/N)'s forehead. "Thank you for giving me the chance to be a father. And for being an amazing mother to our son."

As the morning sunlight bathed them in its warm embrace, Shoto, (Y/N), and Kim stood united, a family bound by love, challenges, and the unbreakable bond they shared.

Days turned into weeks, and the Todoroki household settled into a rhythm that revolved around their newest addition, Kim. Despite his initial fussiness, Kim gradually grew accustomed to spending time with his father, Shoto. Underneath Shoto's composed exterior lay a man who was determined to forge a strong connection with his son.

One afternoon, as the sun streamed through the windows, (Y/N) sat on the living room couch with Kim nestled in her arms. Shoto watched from across the room, a thoughtful expression on his face. He had been practicing his fire manipulation in the backyard, hoping to find a way to engage with Kim in a way that suited both of their abilities.

"Shoto, is everything okay?" (Y/N) asked, her voice soft as she noticed his distant gaze.

Shoto approached them, a small smile playing on his lips. "I've been thinking... maybe there's a way I can bond with Kim in another way. Like taking advantage of my quirk."

(Y/N) looked intrigued. "What do you have in mind?"

Shoto's gaze shifted to the fireplace, where a few logs were stacked, waiting for the colder months. With a focused look, he extended his hand, releasing a controlled burst of fire. The flames danced and crackled, casting a warm glow that flickered across the room.

Kim's eyes widened in fascination, his small mouth forming an "o" of awe. His chubby hands reached out, as if trying to grasp the flames.

"He's captivated by the fire," (Y/N) observed with a smile. "Just like his father."

Shoto lowered himself onto the couch beside (Y/N), keeping a careful distance between Kim and the flames. He adjusted the intensity of the fire, creating a mesmerizing display that seemed to hold Kim's undivided attention.

"Maybe he'll inherit a fascination for fire," Shoto mused. "It's in his blood, after all."

(Y/N) chuckled softly. "As long as he doesn't start using his quirk before he's old enough to control it."

As they watched Kim's fascination with the fire, Shoto and (Y/N) shared a contented silence. Despite the challenges of parenting, there was a sense of unity in these moments that reassured them they were on the right path.

Later that evening, as Kim was nestled in his crib, Shoto turned to (Y/N) with a look of gratitude. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to connect with Kim in my own way."

(Y/N) smiled warmly, reaching out to intertwine her fingers with his. "It's not just Kim who benefits from this, Shoto. We're building a strong foundation for our family."

Shoto's heart swelled with affection for his wife and son. In the quiet of their home, surrounded by the warmth of their love, he realized that every moment, every effort, was contributing to the growth of their family bonds.

As the night wrapped its gentle embrace around the Todoroki household, Shoto and (Y/N) found solace in the knowledge that their journey as parents was a continuous one, filled with shared experiences, challenges, and the unbreakable ties that bound them together.

[yusume-the-writer]

Hi can you write somthing fluffy for Doom from mashle with fem!reader or gn!reader. He diserves more love🙏.

A picnic that neither of them will betray

Doom x Fem!Reader

Request made by Anon, I hope you like it and I have to agree that he deserves more love, but there are people who know this and have already done things for him like @fellow-anime-weeb927 and @rainee-da, they have already done things related to Doom , but I hope you like it, don't forget to drink water and eat something

Did you know that June 18th is International Picnic Day? I was meaning to post this on June 18th but I'm posting it today so let's all pretend today is June 18th and celebrate Picnic Day (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Summary: (Name) wanted to celebrate picnic day with a picnic and her boyfriend Doom would join her picnic and as they spent time enjoying the picnic he couldn't help but think of something

Genre: Fluff

WARNING: Manga spoilers!!!,Mention of wanting to kill someone, mention of blood

It was a beautiful day

The sky was clear blue with fluffy white cotton clouds that sometimes hid the big sun, relieving the people passing by, but even without the clouds the gentle but strong winds refreshed the people.

A great day for a picnic, something many thought about and so there were many people in the parks to picnic, exercise, play and many other things

But meanwhile, inside a forest where death always stalked, there were also people having a picnic.

"Open your little mouth wide~" A (h/c) woman says while holding a fork full of caramelized pancake in front of a 2 meter tall man

This 7-foot man with a frightening presence could be none other than Doom, the first son of Innocent Zero and the first Devil Quintuplet, was being fed by a smaller woman as if he were her own son.

"...Are you really sure (Name)?" Doom says with a curious tone, wondering how the hell he got into this situation.

.

.

.

.

.

A sigh leaves (Name)'s lips once again as she rests her head in her hands while staring at the view outside the window.

Doom was by her side the entire moment, and he knows something is wrong since it was the twentieth breath she took

"Did something happen?" Doom finally decided to ask out of concern for his loved one

"Do you know what day it is?" She says as her eyes move to see Doom's expression of confusion.

"June 18th... As far as I know there's nothing important for both of us" Doom answers the question quickly, and there really isn't anything important for both of us

"Yes, it's important!" (Name) exclaims without shouting so as not to disturb Doom's sensitive ears as she turns to face him, while he becomes even more confused about the situation

'Did I forget something?' Doom think while trying to remember some important event that happened on June 18th, nothing came into his mind...

'Maybe it's some random event she's talking about, but which one?' He thinks while trying to remember if she mentioned any event that occurred on June 18th, nothing came to mind...

"Today is international picnic day" (Name) decides to help Doom, "Ah..." That was the only thing Doom said

...Silence fell around the two...

"...Want to have a picnic...?" Doom asks, already waiting for the answer, "You know me so well! That's why I love you~" (Name) replies Doom while jumping to wrap her arms around his neck while kissing his cheek, causing a light shade of red appeared on the cheeks

.

.

.

.

.

'Ah right.... It was like that' Doom thinks while eating the piece that (Name) just gave him while she herself happily ate (favorite fruit)

Now that Doom realizes it's been a while since the two of them went out together to spend time

And of course neither of them could blame each other, as Doom was busy with the missions his father was sending him on and as (Name)'s life was busy with day to day work.

'You should get rid of the girl as soon as possible' Those were exactly the words his father said to him when he quoted (Name) to himself

It was a perfect moment... He just needs to grab Caleborg, who was by his side, and in just one blow she will be lying on the towel being swallowed by her own blood

"Are you thinking about killing me?" (Name) says out of nowhere while eating a sandwich and taking Doom out of his thoughts

"Sometimes I wonder how you can read me so well" Doom replies as he decides to pick a blueberry from the plate that (Name) took out specifically for him

"I don't even know, when I realize what I said, you agree with me, I think it's a sixth sense~" (Name) says proudly as he takes another bite of the sandwich

Doom stays silent as he listens to (Name) hum and praise herself for making you such a good sandwich, he could attack you now but...

He can't, no... he doesn't want to...

Doom lost count of how many times there were opportunities to exterminate her and at every moment she knew and instead of running away, or asking for mercy, or trying to fight back, she just shrugs her shoulders and goes back to doing what she was doing like that exact moment. time

She knows that under no circumstances would he ever kill or betray her, and he knew that she would never kill or betray him, but even so it seems that the one who fell further down the rabbit hole was Doom and now he has his little finger wrapped around him. of this woman without magic

"Heh~" Doom laughs making (Name) look at him with slight confusion

Sensing her gaze, Doom then asks "What spell have you placed on me that even my father can't undo?"

"...Who knows? Maybe I'll keep it a secret and take it to my grave~" (Name) replies smiling making her eyes shine like precious stones

"Then take this to the grave..." Doom says as he brings one of his large hands to (Name's) cheek, which he couldn't help but notice was warm and there were small crumbs and instinctively he moves his thumb to removing the crumbs, making pupilless eyes that couldn't see be watched by (e/c) eyes that saw the soft side of Innocent Zero's first son

"Because you are the only one who can put this spell on me"

"And of course I know that, besides no one would put up with someone like you" (Name) responds laughing while observing Doom's perplexed reaction

"What do you mean someone like me?!?" Doom asks with confusion and indignation that his own girlfriend said that about him.

"You know, with all your talk about power, your disappointments when your opponents don't perform as you expected and so on, I wouldn't be surprised if someone told you to vent these problems to your girlfriend, aka me" She explains while pointing with her hand who held the sandwich

"...I regret what I said" Doom says as he cuts a piece of the half-cut pancake and puts it in his mouth

"Too late! I've already recorded it in my memory and I will disturb you with it until I forget and when someone says something that reminds me of this I will continue to disturb you into forgetting and the cycle starts again" (Name) responds while sticking out her tongue jokingly

Doom couldn't help but snort at her words

It was a beautiful day for both of them

[dracalix]

HOTD S2 EP 2

everytime i think i can’t hate crispin and daemon even more i acc do. assholes.

« the white cloak is the symbol of our purity » OH BC YOU’RE PURE MISTER HYPOCRITE? 🤡

and when were YOU when jaehaerys was murdered? BANGING ALICUNT.

his hatred for rhaenyra UGH this is what happens when you reject the « nice guy ».

also i was SO glad nyra finally tells daemon what he really is and shows us his real face bc YES he’s a p€d0 who has always been jealous of her power. he used her as the easiest way to get close to this power. there was never love between them, only manipulation and grip. viserys was both afraid and uncertain he could count on his own brother.

« book daemon would never 😞 » OFC THIS SELFISH MF WOULD HELLO? he started to teach nyra abt s€x when she was like 14 in the book (started to have eyes for her in the show). he took her to a brothel at 17/18 and left her there half naked to ruin her reputation bc he perfectly knew everyone would know. and since she was already the heir well that was the ideal way of marrying her and getting closer to the crown he had lost. he’s a horrible man.

well now abt the greens, aegon and helaena DESTROYED me. their ways of grieving are so different, aegon being more violent and helaena being more … idk, in a deep state of shock and depression. her madness is slowly coming and i’m so afraid … my girl 💔 (HER HAVING A PANIC ATTACK ON THE CARRIAGE HELP).

ik aegon isn’t a good person but i think his character is so deep and interesting … he could’ve been a whole different person if someone had cared abt him in his youth and if things had been different (also i’m MADLY in love with tom glynn carney, it somewhat impairs my judgment lmao).

« my little son’s body » 💔

quite relieved to find out the parade was otto’s idea. i mean this man is monstrous, aegon, helaena and alicent didn’t want that (even if alicent didn’t really fight the idea). good thing aegon fired this creep bc « viserys was right abt you » I’M SORRY DIDN’T YOU PUT HIM ON THE THRONE WITH THE HELP OF YOUR DAUGHTER WHO CHOSE TO TRUST THE LAST WORDS OF AN OLD SENILE MAN AFTER HE PROBABLY TALKED NONSENSE FOR YEARS 🤡

aemond with the woman who r@ped him 💔 poor baby, he seemed so vulnerable all naked and curled up, regretting what happened with his nephew.

DAERON MENTIONED!!

jace opening himself abt his relationshipS with fatherS 😞

ALSO absolutely devastated abt the cargyll brothers. almost cried when they fought. erryk killing himself out of shame and honor was heartbreaking.

anyway, this episode was GREAT, get behind me asoiaf victims 🤺🤺

(i need helaena to tell EVERYONE what her mom and ser crispin were doing)

[dottieisdotting]

Patch,pregnancy and proposals - S.J.Y

requested?: no

pairing(s):gangsta!Jake x AFAB!Pregnant! reader - but gender isn't specified 

Genre: fluff, angst (if you squint)

warning(s): a few injuries, blood mentions, pregnancy

Summary:Jaeyun comes home all injured and you scold him but still patch him up,like always

word count: 522

A/N: another one from my list of my one writings, again I am still taking requests as always. I have no idea where this was going. I believe ive done Jake dirty in this. Make sure you are eating and drinking well, have a good night/day/ morning and I hope you enjoy! Mwah!.

Another day, another mission. You sat at home in Jaeyun’s manor off the outskirts of Seoul picking at the skin around your fingers waiting very anxiously for your boyfriend to waltz through the arched entrance. ”C’mon,c’mon”  you say impatiently over and over until you see bright headlights shining through the windows. 

You were relieved but also scared to see what state he’d come back to you this time. You bite your lip as the door opens and in walks Jake, bloodied and bruised with his bodyguards behind him. He sees you and his smile widens and he waltzes over to you, ushering his bodyguards away

”hi baby” He says as he sits down on the couch. You shake your head before walking off to find a first aid kit. You run into a housekeeper and she leads you to one, you thank her and make your way back to your boyfriend.

You make him sit as you tend to his wounds, not being as careful as you should. He could tell you were pissed. ”baby, why are you mad at me?”  you sigh and don't say anything whilst you clean under his eye and put cream on it.

”I'm upset because you come home every week with new injuries, Jaeyun. I'm worried about you, I'm worried that you'll get yourself killed before you get a chance to meet your daughter” his eyes soften and he reaches over to hold your growing bump

”I'm so sorry baby, I'm so,so sorry” He kneels before you, resting his forehead on the bump before kissing it. ”I promise I'll get better for our baby girl, I swear to you, my love.” you feel your heartbeat a little faster when he kneels and promises that he’d get better

You believe him and run your hands through his hair. ”I promise” he whispers and stands up. You put a had on his bruised cheek and rub it gently. He leans down to connect your lips, hands on either side of your bump, rubbing it. 

Jake was truly in love with you and couldn't wait to be a father, especially to a little girl. He’d sworn to you that he would stop getting hurt and step down from his position as head of the ‘Sim mafia clan’ and give the title to his older brother, Heeseung. 

Your lips meet in a sweet kiss,savouring it like it was the last. Jaeyun had enough of seeing you worried every other night. He loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He pulls away and clears his throat.

Jaeyun gets down on one knee and presents you with his great grandmother's ring, a family heirloom. ”---, i love you with all my heart and i promise to keep loving you until my last breath. I want us to be happy and one. Will you do me the honours of becoming my wife, will you marry me?” 

You look at him with teary eyes, his impromptu proposal and your messy hormones make you say yes instantly. He slips the ring onto your finger and kisses it

A/N: I have no idea what this is and I kinda hate it . I was shattered (tired) when writing this. Idk what to do with it. It will stay as a one shot and I promise to write better for Jake in the future. MY REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!

[habit-poxly]

father neptune (pt.4)

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

sea-monster hunter au!

description: After months of mulling over his confession to you in his head, Ghost finally is able to slip into your cottage and unravel his feelings. Lots of fluff

warnings: strong horror elements, early 1800′s dating, 

word count: 3.5k

masterlist | Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4

It was rare for Ghost to become flustered, it was something he had managed to restrain as his youth slipped away. As he grew older- and as the allure of beautiful women wore off- he resided to himself in solitude, fully accepting the reality of men of his profession. Men of the sea were notorious for being scum to the women whose beds they crawled into. That widespread belief rendered his options for partners increasingly limited- regardless of if marriage was something he was keen on. 

He was sure at some point in history a sailor of his stature would have been a charm to the women in London, but not now. No, men like him weren't the sort women would resign themselves to marry; a woman wouldn't be satisfied with waiting on the shores for the likes of him- that he was sure. He could provide little outside of hoarded wealth, affection or love didn't come naturally to Simon. He had long passed the ability to feel shame for how beautiful he found her and was rather relieved when she found his incessant staring cute, not horrifically unsettling.

It had long since grown dark, she had allowed him to sit on her couch where they spoke for hours; he had told tales of some of the best battles of his youth, watching her eyes crinkle at the corners when she laughed. In return, she recounted times from her childhood of monster carcasses washing ashore, or her swinging on giant, bleached bones that were sticking out of the sand and rock. The topic of conversation seemed to avoid her actions on the beach altogether, neither of the pair wanting to spoil the comfortable atmosphere that had grown. 

"Did yah grow up on the island?" He leaned back into the couch, trying his best to keep his eyes from falling over your form in less than respectful ways. You seemed like a modest woman, one dressed properly with hair drawn back neatly, even if in an outdated style from what he was used to seeing of women back home. You wore a plain blue dress, no ribbons or ruffles, with a white collar that sat strung around your neck. 

He watches you mull over the question. You flatten the dress fabric in your lap before shaking your head and mouthing a silent 'no'. 

"If I'm being honest, I don't remember much of anything at all. I have bits and pieces, things I can't make sense of as to why I remember them..." There was a pause before she began again, clearly trying her best to mull over the fragments and piece them together. 

"I can't tell you if my father was tall or short, or what the colour of my mother's hair was- but I remember being in the streets of Dublin when a newsboy announced George Washinton had died. I remember a British soldier pushing me over when I was only four or so- I remember living in lots of different places but I only remember ever living here. In this house." 

Simon nodded, his lips growing into a tight frown under his mask. 

"How long have yah been here alone, love?" The nickname seemed natural in this setting, pet names had always been something he had to force out of himself- not for her, the way her eyes would light up made it worth it. 

"A while." She shrugs, once again she flattens her dress, fingers fighting with the soft fabric. 

"Bet yah don't even have a bathroom inside all the way out here." Simon hums,  a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. It was undoubtedly a luxury, one new and rather expensive. It was something that could only be experienced on the mainland, and he silently added it to the growing number of reasons why she would be far better off there with him. 

She giggles and shakes her head. "I have a barrel that I put boiled water in, that's my indoor plumbing." 

"Horrific. Can't imagine livin' in these conditions" Simon replies, allowing a soft chuckle of his own to slip out. 

"Oh!- I'm sure boat life is just so much better. I certainly envy the months out in the open ocean covered in your own sweat and surrounded by rats." She leaned closer to him, a large smirk growing across her face. 

"S' not as bad as you'd think. You should smell her' when somethings been rotting in her' hull for a week. None of the boys come close." Simon shrugs and stretches his arm across the back of the couch, a now large grin settling over him as he watches your face contort into disgust.

"That's shocking!" She softly pushed his chest and laughed, moving just a little bit closer to him. The action was small, something she most likely hadn't even put thought into- yet it sent his body haywire. 

Admittedly Simon had always been the best at this part, the enisle flirting was something he had mastered in his 20's, anything past that point, though, was almost entirely new. He had been in relationships, sure, yet none that he was particularly invested in, he had never been the pursuer of commitment- yet now he had to be. It wasn't uncommon for men in this day and age- especially of his age- to propose at least a relationship rather quickly after meeting a woman they liked. He had strong doubts any other man on the island was interested in a betrothal with her- yet the urgency remained. 

Marriage culture in London was something he had avoided like the plague, it being a dance of image and reputation that he had no interest in. Men and women were to marry young, have children young, and die young, yet the pair of them sat childless, single, old and alive. You looked to be older than 25,- yet certainly not older than 30-  and for a woman as stunning as he had found you, it was beyond a surprise that no man had ever proposed to you at all. 

Simon had accepted the reality of him begin marriageless as the rest of his crew had, yet that had never meant he wasn't lonely. For years he's laid alone in his cold cot in Manchester, thinking intently about what he could have done differently, how he could have prevented being alone. He had craved the company of a woman for far too long, he had pushed it down so far it had become insistently painful- unignorable. 

Something about you had rattled something inside him loose; you had breathed the ability to love and be loved into him. 

He was rather alluring himself, especially to a woman who had been on her own for quite some time. His dusty blond hair had been cut short along the sides, leaving long bits up top that stuck out messily. His features were sharp, strikingly so, having thick eyebrows with a deep scar slashed through one and piercing blue eyes. The bit of fabric covering the bottom half of his face was most certainly hiding a stubble-covered jaw.

"What happened here?" You pointed politely to your own eyebrow, eyes soft with concern that makes his heart flutter. 

Simon's hand instinctively moves to the scar. He had gained so many over the years that he had stopped taking stock of where they were- or what they were from for that matter. 

"Ah- got it when I was 18." He grumbled, the memory still causing a hot pain to strike across his face.

"Was on my first real hunting ship- most of the other lads were young too, one of em' did something stupid and let a rope snap while we were hauling something in. Whipped me right across the face. 'Suprised I didn't get a scar 'long the whole left side." He watches her eyes flicker with empathy, somehow becoming even warmer as the story ends. 

"I'm sorry." She mutters, for a moment Simon stills, unsure of how to respond. 

"You don't have to apologize to me, love. You didn't do it." He shakes his head, moving his arm slightly to tug you closer to his side.

"Why do you cover your face?" You ask, another question with only pure intention, yet it still tugged at Simon uncomfortably. 

"'Prefer it this way, it stays on, love." 

"Are you hiding something?" Your head tilts to the side. 

"Just my face." He shrugs.

"Are you ugly?" 

The question had been asked so many times his response was nearly automated at this point. 

"Quite the opposite." 

A large smile crosses her face, it was something she clearly already knew. 

Desperately did he want you to lead him upstairs, to offer him to lay in your bed while he sleeps against your chest, or for you to run your fingers along his scalp and down his sore back. Everything about you was sweet, the way you did your hair, your soft tone, and your cries in the night, all grew overwhelmingly endearing with little effort on your part. 

Simon Riley had never been 'whipped' in his life, no woman had ever reduced him to that level, but sitting in front of you, he was whipped. He had accepted that truth during the endless nights he spent tossing and turning, dreaming of you. He had wondered if maybe you had dreamt of him as well, perhaps he haunted your dreams, perhaps that was the reason for the heavy bags under your eyes, your endless crying at night. 

"Why do you haunt the beach?" Regardless of him now knowing for certain she was a human woman, he still considered her a ghost, one like him, one whose private haunt he was encroaching on. 

She sucks a breath in sharply, the sudden question catching her off guard.

"Why?" She repeats. The question lingers over you as you try to come up with an answer. There had never been a particular reason as to why, you had simply just done it, allowing your grief to wash away into the ocean. 

"It feels good." You shrugged, the answer seemingly embarrassing you. 

"It feels good to scream out to the ocean, she listens to me... Just listens. Not many will do that- listen to the sorrow-filled wailings of a woman running up and down the shoreline like a banshee." 

"I listened." Simon could help but let it slip out. He had listened, he had listened intently, he tried to place her pain, and in his dreams, he would bet to take it from her- for her to give all of her sufferings to him, he would handle it all for her. Too many nights he clung to her in his dreams, too many nights he spent clinging to her, desperate to keep his head above water; no longer for himself, but to see her. 

Your face grew a deep shade of red and your lips tightened into a deep frown. "You listened and then followed and then I shoved over your friend- stole your things!" You exclaimed. "I have no idea why you would have any interest in listening to my hysterics." 

"Hysterics? You believe your feeling this way is all hysterics?" The disappointment in his voice was evident, something he was always unable to mask. 

"Well..." You averted your eyes from him, moving them instead down into your lap as you straightened your posture away from him. 

Suddenly he takes your hands in his, an action clearly neither had expected from him. He softly squeezes them before speaking.

"I'll listen. I'll listen if you'd let me- if you'd let me I'd take all of this from you, all your grief would be mine if it meant you'd be alright." He managed to force the words out, it was imperfect and certainly not the confession he had rehearsed on the way over. Her eyes dart back up to his face, her eyes widen as she studies him intently. After a moment of painful silence, she speaks, her voice small and unsure. 

"You don't know me- you know nothing of me at all." 

Pain tinges his heart at the comment, it was fair and he knew it. Sure, perhaps he knew her better than she knew him, surly her dreams weren't of the pair of them speaking for hours, living domestic lives together like his were; yet the comment still caused discomfort- distress even. 

"I do know you, my love." His voice grows uneven, the desperation he's managed to keep at bay beginning to slip out as her eyes lock with his. 

"I dream of you every night- When I look at the glow of the moon I think 'there, that was made for her.' Whenever I see the tide roll in I swear I think only of you. I'll see happy couples walking down the streets and wish desperately for it to be us- I've loved you in every life I've lived, surely that must be true with the amount of love I feel burning for you." Simon's voice shakes, each word said with full, honest intent yet still tinged with the self-restraint he's so accustomed to exercising.

"I know you." He asserts, squeezing your hands between his. 

His pale face had long faded into a shade of bright red, his eyes flick frantically between studying your face for a negative reaction and anywhere else in the room. 

"You're mad." You mutter as a rather dopy smile plasters your flushed face. 

"Mad?" Simon exclaims confusion painting his voice. After the hardest confession of his life, after possibly one of the hardest things he's ever done, she's called him mad. 

It took only a second more before your arms had wrapped around his neck and you pulled yourself into him. It takes an awkward moment for you to find his lips overtop the fabric mask instead of roughly kissing his jaw or cheek. Regardless of the fabric barrier, Simon moves his lips against yours, wishing desperately that the room were dark enough for him to rip it off. 

His hands move down to your waist, he softly pulls your hips into his and settles your weight on top of him. His arms snake fully around you, locking you to him as you had done in the reverse. You pull away to take a breath, softly pushing against him to give yourself leverage over his hulking body. He brings his finger up to your face to softly brush away a strand of hair.

The novelty of kissing with the mask had worn off quickly, it becoming far more of a nuisance than a form of comfort for him at the moment. It was rather obvious that you felt the same, finding it rather annoying that he wouldn't move it. Not yet, but as the moments with you dragged on Simon began to reconsider.

"This is mad." You mutter, staring down at his covered face; even with the mask, you could see crimson sneaking up his cheekbones. His eyes were blown- wide and entirely focused on tracking your face- and his hair had somehow managed to grow more out of place than before. Simon doesn't respond, it crosses your mind he may be entirely focused on you- and he hadn't even heard what you had said at all.  

He watches you in return, he watches your face fall from a satisfied smile down to one of guilt. 

"And rather.. informal." You cover your mouth with your hand, silently wishing you yourself were wearing a mask to hide your embarrassment. 

While you don't remember quite where you picked up your ideas around courting but you did know that you were taught that there was a proper and improper way of courting a man. It was quite different in England, many of their women only get married when they fall pregnant- however, there were things that had to be done before your and Simon's relationship could go any further. 

"We aren't courting and I've kissed you! I'm so sorry, Simon. I-" As you begin to move off of him his hands move to grip your waist more firmly before rolling fully onto his back, allowing you to straddle him comfortably. 

"Enough." He says firmly, your mouth snaps shut immediately at the command. He had certainly had some experience in barking orders. 

"Courting? That's what you want, yeah? Does that mean I can't touch yah yet?- You don't want me to?" He struggles to form a sentence that feels comfortable, every word feeling clunky to him. Intimacy and affection on a deeper level were something Simon doubts he's ever expressed. Sure, he had tender moments with his mother- but those were few and far in between thanks to his father. Above all else, he wanted you to be comfortable, to love him back, so he would take extra care in every action.

Normally in courtships, those involved don't kiss, nor do they straddle one another- but this felt natural, not undignified or shameful like you had imagined breaking these sorts of social customs would feel. 

"Well... I'm not too sure about that. I do want you to." You muttered, you understand courting, or dating for that matter was a custom in place to prevent people from marrying too quickly- yet intimacy can only happen within it so people tend to rush.

Simon's eyes crinkle from his grin, he moves his eyes down your form and adjusts your dress fabric to drape over him more neatly. 

"You want me to what, sweetheart?" The teasing tone in his voice sends shivers up your spine. 

"Oh stop!" A wide, flustered grin grows on your face as Simon chuckles deeply; he glides his hands gently up and down your waist and thighs. 

"I'll come back 'round again in the mornin', have the kettle on for me." He hums, this accent seemingly getting thicker the quieter he speaks. "We'll start courting, hm?" 

You smile, your stomach fluttering at the notion before the rest of his sentence settles in. 

"You're leaving?" 

He nods reluctantly, as if you even asking had made him reconsider. "Gotta get back before the lads come lookin' for a corpse." 

"They still think I'm a monster?" You can't help but allow a soft giggle to slip past your lips.

"Gaz wouldn't even leave the boat- poor lad." Simon lets out a hardy chuckle, clearly feeling far less bad for Gaz than he was letting on.

"You must have a thing for monsters then- I'm sure of it. No sane man would see a woman crying hysterically on the beach and think 'ah yes, that one'." Your grin doesn't let up, and neither does his. 

"Again with the hysterics." He shakes his head.

"Obviously I'm the most stable woman out there- couldn't find one who copes with minor inconveniences better." You say sarcastically. Simon huffs out a chuckle and nods, he's perfectly away of how odd his attraction appears, but he's always had an affinity for the uncanny or unwanted. Not that you were either of those things, he didn't find you unsettling in the slightest, perhaps that was part of the problem.

Reluctantly you two begin to pry away from each other's warmth, both moving to stand. 

"So stable you use a harpoon as a mantle decoration?" Simon's eyes finally lock on the pointed metal rod- he would have missed it entirely if his eyes hadn't caught the ship's name carved into the grip. Quickly you go to grab it down to hand to him but Simon stops you and shakes his head. 

"You can have it, darling. Soap isn't going to miss it."

"That's the one with the... with the hair?" You gesture out his haircut as best you can, you had seen many sailors with many odd style choices, but that one you had only seen on him. 

Simon nods, "How'd you know his name?" 

"Everyone on the island knows all of your names." 

"Word gets 'round about us?" You could nearly hear the smirk in his voice. 

"You guys all yell a lot." You grin widely as Simon rolls his eyes and scoffs.

You and Simon begin to exit the living room, you watch him dunk under the short doorframe before settling in the front room. He goes to grab for his coat but is stopped by you ducking under his arm and pressing your back against the door. 

"Let me." You grab the heavy black coat off the door rack and hold it open for him, it takes a second for Simon to understand what you're doing but he turns around and places his arms into the jacket. It was a small action, something typical for women to help men with, but it felt different coming from her. You two switch places as you open the front door, and a rush of cold, salty evening air burst into the small room. 

"It's an awfully dark walk to the dock... take my lamp, dear." You lean your frame out the door and point to a small table, atop it sat your good lantern. Picking it up he could tell it would have more than enough oil for the evening, he imagines you were planning on taking a walk tonight, one he had probably prevented you from taking. 

"Thank you. For the tea- and this evening." Simon says and nods to you politely. 

"Thank you for visiting me- and for asking me to court you." You can't help but shutter under his intense gaze, how desperately the pair of you wished he didn't have to go- but he did. 

"Goodnight, Simon." 

 "Goodnight, love." He flicks on the lantern and turns from you.

You watched Simon walk all the way down to your garden gate before closing the door, then moving to watch him from the window. You watch him stop and turn back once, then again after taking a few more steps forward, then again, before he disappears fully over a small hill.

You imagine he'll be here painfully early in the morning. 

taglist: @blueoorchid @@hoe4myers @yjhariani @lexi-zsy09 @galaxieshearme @tumblinginoz @icepancakes @iluvweasleys @crunchlite

[dr-xanders-diary]

Our beginning.. The END..

God, how I wish things were back to normal. We've had 9 run-ins' since we first started to see each other. I know, that's a lot. But, I've handled myself well, with each one. But now things have become much more complicated, difficult even. How did things turn out like this? Well. It's simple really. Lets go through how the events unfolded, in order. Shall we?

After we set up our engagement party and started to plan our wedding we slowly began to lose touch with each other, well. You started to lose touch with us. Despite that though, we enjoyed as much time as we had together, between the planning, working and moving in to a three bedroom home. We were-, well busy. Maybe too busy for your liking. And as time went on, as our wedding date got closer, you-. You began to drift away. I knew it would happen, so I let you have your time to collect yourself, and did my best to reel you back in. To make you happy again.

You were finding joy in your little trips overseas more than when you were with me, despite you living out your wildest fantasies with me. A part of me was jealous, a part of me despised that. A part of me hated that. You being happy without me? Hah. Right, that's when I realized there was more to your little trips overseas. Why they became more frequent, why you started to go alone, why you and Stacy weren't as close anymore and there was a wall of tension between you. I knew what was happening: to begin with, you aren't exactly the most careful person. Especially in the little details. Your secrets aren't so secretive, my dear. But it's okay, I forgave you, because you still planned to marry me, right. Right? Fuck, of course you planned to, how could I doubt you. I know you.

Each time you came home from your trips you were tired, distant, cold, especially on the first day back. You'd warm up again the second day being home, after each trip. I was fine with this, I was content as long as you were coming home, coming home to me. Nothing else mattered. I didn't mind you relieving your stress on your little trips. Really I didn't.

Our wedding came and went, it was beautiful, it was perfect, your perfect day. Several of our guests cried, congratulated us, even Stacy showed up. During the reception she came up to me with a sad look in her eye, she tried to hide it behind her kind smile, but I could tell. She placed her hand on my shoulder with as soft as a pat as she could muster and said, "Congratulations ****** (X), I know you'll treat ***(you) right. I-.. hope ***(you) knows what they have. I don't think ***(you) knows just how lucky s/he is. You're a good man ******(X)". An honest to god genuine compliment, which hardly came from anyone in your friend group, and having known Stacy, I knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart. She seemed so pained when she spoke, so-, torn. I knew why. She only gave you a soft smile before the end of the night and you two didn't exchange any words. Your father was so overjoyed that you married "Such a good man", in his words. His toast to us was even quite beautiful as well.

We spent our honeymoon overseas, in Italy, and at first you were very upset that I would bring you there, but I knew, this was your favorite place to be. You thought it came down to pure coincidence didn't you? The location, the hotel, the room. Yes you were riddled with panic, with guilt and paranoia at first. But I-, I wanted to override your memories of that hotel, of that room, of that very city, and all of Italy. I wanted to wipe your conscious of what you thought you did in the dark behind my back. Do not ever forget, you are mine. We are bonded, my love. We wrote it in stone. It's in our vows. And I will make sure, that you will always be mine.

And this brings us close to date. Since then, it's been; 5 years, 7 months, 15 days, 10 hours, and 15 seconds. Now I know that you've been sneaking around, going on 'Business trips', going back to your favorite little problem. It's becoming an issue for us, darling. I forgave you, I still forgive you even. As long as you come home to me. I knew it would be a hard habit to break-. Because you get swept up, so easily. You can't even tell the danger you are in. And then, it happened. The worst thing that could happen to us. The worst thing you could do to us. You brought a slimy bastard into our life, you introduced us. I tried. Oh did I try to be nice, I tried to play nice. I am trying so very hard, but how could you bring this man into our home, where we sleep, where we live. How dare you.

From then I knew you were sneaking around, at hotels, his hotel room. That you paid for. I found out-, you loved him. You-, you loved him more than me, and you wanted to get rid of me. And I snapped. You wanted to be rid of me? The only person who truly loves you, the only person who went through such great lengths to get you, to know you down to the smallest detail, the one who went through such great lengths to keep you. No. No no no, no. You're confused, you don't really love him. You just love how spontaneous he is, how he doesn't seem to have a care, because things seem so easy for him, but he has nothing. He is nothing. You just can't see it.

So.. Let me show you.

I took my time preparing everything for him, for you. I lined the bed with some very durable plastic under the comforter, and lined the room floor with some as well, just to make sure there's no surprise messes. And I sat and waited, for your usual routine, you'd both show up at 5:45pm, on the dot, never any sooner or any later. But you didn't two didn't show up. "Where are you? It's getting dark." Things were seemingly out of my control, I waited an entire hour. Then checked my phone, saw in my notification you sent your location.

You- pinged me? You're at home.. But why? Today is your day with Antoni. And you know that I'm supposed to be out of town-. Oh. You dirty bitch. You brought him to our home didn't you.

I immediately began to roll up and folded all of the plastic covers I had laid out, cleaning up and putting away everything into my duffle bag. I left the hotel room duffle bag in hand, I made sure to leave not a single trace of me behind. I got into my car and drove home as calmly as I could. I parked on the street nearest our driveway, as I got out I could see dim lights from our upstairs bedroom, flickering behind the curtain. And a dim light from our family room, by now the sun was beginning to set, it was already 7:34pm. I walked to our front door, it was locked, I went to the back door around the house, you two left it unlocked. You snuck him in. I made my way inside looking into the kitchen, there was two plates of half eaten food, a half empty bottle of wine on the counter. Walking past, looking into the family room I saw two half drunken glasses of wine on our coffee table.

What the fuck babe. Did you have fun wining this man in our home?

As I made my way to the first steps of the stairs, I heard it, the sound of your voice, a soft chuckle, followed by his voice and his thick Italian accent, "Are you sure it's okay? Why don't we run away together my love". As I slowly made my way up the steps I could hear the slow creaking of our bed, you two were fucking-, and then I hear you say it, "Don't worry Antoni, I don't love him anymore, you're the only one I love" then, hearing you say that made something inside me snap. As you two continued to defile our home, our bed, I had made my way up the stairs into the hall only to see our bedroom door wide open. Antoni laying atop of you, bare as he place gaze into your beautiful eyes. I knew how he felt, like he had stolen something prized, but he didn't actually care about how I would feel, those were just false sympathies to save his face. But he would care, very soon.

The time between those moments of my standing in the doorway of our bedroom and hearing you shout when you saw me, blended together. Filled with rage, and resentment as you tried to cover yourself as if I hadn't seen you naked before, as if you were ashamed. As Antoni got up from the bed as if he just wanted to talk-, none of it mattered. I would show you what did matter, though. The moments blurred as I stomped towards Antoni, and clenched my fist as I swung my right arm, the knuckles of my fist roughly hitting against his cheekbone and breaking the skin. The hit to him made him stumble back a bit. This well toned, 5'10" Italian man, caught himself against the bed, glaring at me with just as much hate as I had for him.

Time seemed to blur as we would hit each other over and over, and push each other against the furniture in the bedroom. Our fighting, our thrashing causing us to make our way into the hall, you hurriedly put on some clothes as you followed and shouted. Antoni grabbed me and pulled me into a headlock, I'd jab and punch at his sides, pushing him against the stair rail as he tried to choke me out. Slowly losing my breathe before the impact of slamming him into the stair rail caused his grip to loosen and set me free, but made us lose our balance as we'd fall down the stairs. Falling down onto the landing, a vase would fall and shatter beside him, the wind almost knocked out of both of us from the fall. I kicked Antoni's hip as hard as I could, the kick forcing him down the rest of the stairs, he grabbed onto my pant leg, and I grabbed a shard of the broken vase as I was pulled down the steps.

Landing a few steps above Antoni as he slowly got onto his knees, screaming obscenities at me, I would get up and shove the vase shard into his back right along his shoulder. My hands cut by the shard in my hand as I forced it into his muscles. "How dare you come into my home, and fuck my partner, in my bed" the words almost came out with as much hatred and gravel as a scream. He swung his arm at me, hitting me across my lower abdomen as I went to grab him by his hair, only to roughly slam him into the wall against his back. Splattering blood onto the wall. We fought for what seemed like eternity, and you got into the mix trying to get us apart, we both hit you. By the end of it all I was a sweating panting mess, and Antoni was crawling toward the garage to escape, bruised, scratched, and stabbed. I stomped my boot down as hard as I could against the vase shard in his back, shoving it in deeper into the muscle and bone causing the shard to shatter, making him cry out. I kneeled down and grabbed his thick black hair and yanked his head back as he begged to go home.

Fucking coward.

"You wont be going anywhere-, neither of you will," my voice came out as a horse whisper as I reached my free hand down to firmly grip onto Antoni's jaw, his eyes widened as he realized what I had meant and began to scream. An almost sweet sound to my ears before the sudden silence as I jerked his head accompanied with a quick snapping sound of bones, his body going from tense to limp in a matter of seconds. Bruised, tired and full of rage fueled me further as you'd scream and shout, calling me obscenities and as you called me a monster. And then everything.. went dark.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"It's been several months-, no.. it's been a year since our wedding and 7 months since our anniversary. Who would have thought that things would have come down to this. I would have thought that our honeymoon in Italy would have solidified things for you, would have erased those dirty memories from your mind, and replaced them with our time together. Did I not please you enough? Was I not as spontaneous as you would have liked?" I had grabbed you and shoved you onto your back under your lover. You had fought me hard, and couldn't answer me as you cried as I wrapped Antoni's lifeless hands around your neck, slowly squeezing. "You want to leave me, and leave with him, go right ahead be my guest.." You scratched and hit at my arms, and scratched at Antoni's face as you began to slowly choke and loose your breathe. Terrified to die by your dead lovers hands, and by my own in turn.

It's not so fun being choked outside of the bedroom now is it?

Finally we cut off your breathing completely, crushing your windpipe with Antoni's hands. Your eyes filled with tears and the look of fear as life slowly left your eyes and your body went limp, your arms slowly falling to your side. I spent a few minutes gathering and putting on Antoni's clothes and tearing them up a bit where you had scratched and where I hit and stabbed. The candles in the bedroom had began to set the curtains aflame in our bedroom. I had limited time to gather anything I wanted, so I only gathered the important things, things I'd need.

By the time the police came, our house was set aflame, and the fire department was trying to contain the fire. I was questioned and by my looks the officers concluded I had suffered a severe break in to my home. As I sat against my car watching our house, our life, our memories burn down despite the fire departments best efforts, I also watched our history and everything that had ever happened between us, and what happened that night burn down too.

"A simple phrase could have made everything better.."

Over the next few weeks I would be brough into the police department for my statement, your family and friends would reach out to give condolences. Your funeral came and went, the hotel refunded the money from the hotel you had paid for, for Antoni. One friend, Stacy stopped by when she couldn't get a hold of me, when I'd sit in our old driveway. She would find me and sit with me for a few hours, in silence as I would stare at the burned down remains of what we had. Until one day Stacy patted me on the back and told me, "It shouldn't have ended like this. But you're a good guy X*******. You'll be okay". She had no clue what actually happened but her words rang through me. I sat there long after she left, I thought I was a monster but something in me clicked, when Stacy had told me that. Maybe Stacy was right, maybe I am a good guy, but maybe I also am a monster. I stood from my car and walked up to the charcoaled rubble of our old house, giving a last goodbye.

I never did get to recover much from the fire, your father was devastated, your family was broken, and your friends were in shambles. And as I got into my car and began to drive away, I looked at our house one last time.

This was our end.

And I loved you..

To the very end.

[thegayestbitch0o0]

Title: Getaway

Genre: smut

Paring: Travis Phelps x male reader

Warning: slight swearing,

Kinks: slight degradation, marking, raw sex

————————————————————————

It was a late Sunday night around 7:00 pm and you were on your roof getting high. Your parents were yelling again so you like to go on your roof to getaway. While on the roof listening to music and hitting your blunt you hear rustling below you so go to the edge and look over the edge. You look around and see a beating up Travis looking up at you. You look at him confused as you let the ladder down. He climbs up the ladder and gets on the roof. He sits next to you looking away from you.

He was covered in bruises probably from his father. “Hey wanna talk about it?” He says nothing still looking at the horizon. You reach out and poke on of the bruises on his cheek. “Ow!” He says and looks at you “why did you do that?” “Are you gonna answer my question Travis?” He look at you with anger then you had him your blunt. He takes a hit then he calms down. “My dad was mad and did his usual and punched me again for a stupid reason. He’s just so fucking annoying he hits me for the smallest and dumbest reasons it’s….it’s just…dumb.”

Tears starts to build up in his eyes. He sets the blunt down as he wipes his tears away. You sigh and gently grab and wipe his tears away. You smile looking at him “hey dads are shitty.” You say he laughs a bit. God he was so cute when he laughed. “Yeah they are.” He says a blush appears on his face at how close your faces were. Out of embarrassment he pushes you away. “W-well um yeah.” He was too flustered to speak. You laugh and pin his to the roof. Your hand holding both of his above his head. “What do you not like how close we are~” you say and he gets even more flustered as he try’s to break out of your tight grip.

“Hey this is gay!” He says still trying to break out of your grip. “I think we established that your gay from the last time we saw each others.” You say getting really close to his face. He stops squirming look at you. With your free hand brush your thumb against his lips pulling lightly against his bottom lip. He shivers at your touch you then lean down to his ear and whisper “your really pent up aren’t you?” He nods his head “come on darling use your words darling~” “y-yes I am.” “Good boy~” You say into his ear and start to leave kisses and hickeys on his jaw and down his neck. “I guess I’ll have to help you relieve all the pent up tension.” He squirms as you leave hickeys on his neck. Your free hand lifts up his shirt and slowly goes up his stomach to his chest.

He lets out whine at how slow you were being with him he wanted you to duck him already. “Be patient.” You say and lift his shirt up exposing his chest. You go from his collarbone down his chest leaving hickeys and bite marks. You get to his waist and leave a hickey. He squirms under you and a evil smirk appears on your face. You slowly pull his pants down it’s so fun to tease him. He lets out another whine as you get his get his pants off. You sit up and take off your pants.

You look at him for confirmation if he wants to continue. He’s face was completely red as he gave a little head nod for you to continue. You line up you cock with his hole and then slowly insert yourself. Travis moans as you thrust inside of him. You thrust at a kinda slow pace but then Travis says though moans “m-move f-faster.” With that being said you being to thrust faster and faster into him and he becomes a moaning mess. You grab on his hips to help you do deeper into him. You feel Travis’s hole tighten around you as you move in and out of him. It felt so good. “F-fuck~ I forgot how tight you we’re.” You groan sliding into him.

“[your name] I’M G-GONNA C-CUM!” Travis yells “Fuck me too.” You groan and you both cum together. You slowly stop thrusting and then pull out. “We should probably head in and shower. You want to stay the night?” “Umm s-sure.” You both go through his and head to the shower.

Author’s note: This is my first story on here so sorry if it sucks. But if you want a part 2 all you have to do is ask and I’ll try to make it. K love you all no homo and bye.

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files Collector's Fic: Cleaning Out the Vineyard House (Poll Results 2nd)

This list was inspired by this poll-- 1st part here~.

(**Note**: I'll edit out errors later when no one's looking.)

Loose chronological order below~ 

raspberrycoffeecake's Vineyard-Haven

""But he turns back toward the sea, retracts his arms, and wraps them around his knees, closing in on himself.

“I came out here once the year after Samantha disappeared,” he says in an even tone. He’s still looking out at the waves, and she wonders if he’s talking to her or to himself. “It was just a normal summer morning. My father was upstairs in his office, writing letters, making phone calls, ignoring us like he always did. My mother made me a sandwich to take with me to the baseball field, as if there had always been just one child to make sandwiches for. As if Sam was just a dream I had, as if she had never existed. And I finally decided that I couldn’t stand the denial. I couldn’t keep pretending anymore.""

Post Paper Hearts Mulder whisks Scully to Martha's Vineyard. She supports him as he processes his memories; and insists they start a relationship when it won't be based in trauma.

@syntax6's (Gossamer, FFN, Omni) Mulder 1998

""He opened his eyes and looked at her over the flames. "They say the ocean has no memory."

She licked her thumb and scanned the paltry breaking surf. "I guess I can see that. The tide comes in, sweeps everything away and washes out again, only to reappear a few hours later. It makes the ocean seem immutable, as though no outside force can change it."

"And change equals memory?"

"Sure. Every memory changes you.""

Pre-Triangle Mulder sells his father's Vineyard house because of the expenses wracked up during FTF. He and Scully share their beach disappointments; and they compare his height to the former scratches on his childhood wall.

Chimerical1975's Regular People

""Grocery shopping with Mulder was something of an experience. It turned out that he was a creature of immense habit with definite likes and dislikes. Since she'd barged in on him, she offered to cook whatever he liked and he put up surprisingly little resistance to the offer. In fact, he revealed that macaroni and cheese was his favorite thing in the world. But only homemade--he had to be close to starving to eat the stuff that came in the blue box. She was amused that such simple comfort food was something he craved, not to mention greatly relieved because it was something that she actually knew how to make. If he'd wanted ratatouille, she would have been in big trouble.""

AU-- TGTSC Scully's California flight was canceled; so she surprises Mulder at the Vineyard where he is cleaning out his father's house. They whack down yard weeds, move each other with respect and admissions on both their parts-- romantically and not living a normal life together-- and conclude their unresolved romantic tensions.

Folieadeux's Cyclone

""Closing the door behind him, he slid off his jacket and laid it on the hall bench.He'd promised himself that he would not take too much time doing this,that he would be quick and efficient, without unnecessary emotions. Just like she'd do it, like she had done it when it had been her turn.

// He sat in the hallway, his back propped against the wall, watching her. It was late spring and the yearly housecleaning was in full force. The scene was misleading in its normalcy. A woman in an apron and a freshly washed house dress ripping sheets from a little girl's twin bed, shaking puffs of dust in the air that floated in the sunshine before disappearing to wherever those particles went. Her jaw was set tight and her face was determined. Only twin paths of tears betrayed her calm exterior.

He kept silent, a skill he was beginning to hone as the weeks wore on and his sister didn't return. Every day the house grew more and more silent while they all pretended. What they were pretending was something he had yet to figure out. //""

Post Closure Mulder somberly packs up the Vineyard, apologizing to the house while battling morbid memories. He always felt he had to protect his mother: the woman who kept travel books but never traveled.

LuvTheBeez’s (mulderscreek) Packing

""Every object, every possession left in the house had been carefully wrapped and packed away only to spend the rest of its days in a dank storage room somewhere. These boxes contained once precious objects that no longer mattered to anyone, all of them things he'd looked at a million times but had never really seen. Things that had been carefully maintained, fastidiously dusted and polished, each holding a memory that was solely hers, that he could not share.""

Post Closure Mulder packs up Tena's house, frustrated that there were no more answers to be found. Scully drops in with comfort food; and both are glad she hadn't listened to his earlier denials and mild mandates.

OKayVal's 155 Words - Santa Claus, North Pole

""Dear Santa, I have been good. Please bring me a talking Crissy doll. And please bring my brother Fox a model rocket so he will be too busy to tease me. Thank you. Love Samantha Mulder.""

Post Closure Mulder soldiers on, cleaning out Tena's house. Samantha's "Dear Santa" letter guts him with guilt.

xraelynn’s (Gossamer) Illumination

""It’s good to see you, Mulder,” she said softly, taking a sip of her coffee. The smile in his eyes dimmed as he looked away.

“I, uh...I didn’t mean to run out of town on you,” he said quietly, his eyes fixed down on his coffee. “I just thought I...needed some time.”

Mulder’s face was smooth and calm now, but for days she hadn’t stopped seeing his expression of devastation and betrayal whenever she looked at him.

It turned out that she had needed some time too.""

Post Closure Mulder invites Scully out to the Vineyard, needing her company while he processes his losses and revelations.

@bohoartist's (Ao3) Unnamed Prompt

""Let me see!” she pleads, reaching for it, but he extends his arm just out of her reach.

“Oh not at all, Scully, this is way too incriminating.”

She sits back and pouts, sticking out her plump bottom lip and looking up at him through her lashes before quickly changing tactics and lunging at him.""  

Post Closure Scully rescues a picture of little toddler Mulder before her partner can destroy all of his family mementos.

Pattie's Sailor Spooky

""Besides, I wouldn't want to spoil your free time away from me."

His heart sank. He sat on the couch. After a long pause he told her the truth. "I just don't want to be alone, okay?"

Scully stopped filling the coffee maker and approached her partner.""

Post Closure Mulder doesn't want to be alone. Scully assures him he doesn't have to prove anything-- including making himself seasick by trying to bond with her.

@o6666666's (Ao3)

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""Martha’s Vineyard, he’d said, this weekend, and she’s already teased him that he ever thought it might be a hard sell. His Scully is made for the beach. Not least because her body is pink and freckled and cut from stone, but mostly because the ocean recognizes her at once—a Scully, one of its own—and she opens her heart to it like she does to her mother and small children, allowing her wild laugh and squeaky voice and a sort of space-taking that seems fundamentally opposite to the space-taking she does at work, with clipped tones, and where the littler she speaks, the more powerful she seems.

(By contrast: When he woke up this morning she had all the covers, and her arms were spread out like wings across the whole bed. “You cozy?” he’d whispered, sidling closer. She’d tucked him right in with her with a kiss to his nose. And doing the breakfast dishes together, he’d heard it—this dry little fart. She’d turned to him with wide, guilty eyes and he’d rat-tailed her, lightly, with the dish towel and whistled: “Scul-ly!”)""

Post Closure? Mulder takes Scully on a boating trip to the Vineyard-- and she boats, happily, like a crazy person.

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""Mulder, I can’t sail.”

He grinned. “Sure you can.” He was sure Scully knew the methodology of sailing. Perhaps Scully could sail like she could drive. When she was a little girl she could sail, and when she was six she accidentally hit Captain Scully in the head with the boom.

AU-- S9 Mulder bought Scully a boat for her 40th. The two go sailing while Maggie watches their son.

@scapegrace74-blog/scapegrace74's Pandora's Box

""He’s been at loose ends since his mother passed away, and she draws an invisible line around him, daring anyone else to cross it and touch his tender heart.  There are a million daily reminders of loss: calls from the family attorney, paperwork to sign, a father’s voice rising from a tour group outside the Hoover Building, “don’t wander too far away, Sam!”

So when he asks her to run this simple errand, she leaps at the chance to help."" 

Post Closure Scully finds an engagement ring in Mulder's things; and the two realize their weaknesses-- fear to take it to the next step for fear of guilt-tripping the other-- pale in comparison to their strengths.

@alienbaby-babymama/ABBM515‘s Potential

""Even though it had only been a few weeks since their partnership became an “official” partnership, Dana Scully would never have to be asked twice to spend a weekend by the water.

Mulder had mentioned in passing that he wanted to get his mother’s house prepared for sale. The place was big, required maintenance, and the memories engrained in the walls and floorboards of the house was not something he wanted to deal with. The property deserved love again. He just wasn’t sure he was the one to give it.""

Mulder and Scully-- still not dating post Closure-- sort out how to use Martha's Vineyard: a rental property so they can subsidize their IVF treatments.

@gabby-msr/ScullytoyourMulder/scullytoyourmulder993's

A Love Captured

""That night was special. In high school, I was the kid whose sister had gone missing. I guess it was some kind of curse. I was a bit of a pariah. Even on the baseball team,” he said, and he saw her frown in disapprobation.  

“But that night, it didn’t matter. We stayed on the diamond celebrating well into the night, the team and other people, too. Some people drank. I didn’t, I still had to drive myself home. People congratulated me.”

"I’m glad,” she told him, squeezing his hand. “I’m glad baseball brought you some happiness.”

“It did,” he said, but there was something sad about the way he said it.

“What is it?”

“My parents - they’ve never seen me play,” he admitted."" 

S8 Monica is trying to understand the late Agent Mulder. While snooping through his office, she finds memorabilia from his and Scully's vacation to the Vineyard post-Je Souhaite. Their trip was about him rediscovering and reinvigorating his past-- all of it: Samantha, his parents, Diana, and everything else-- with a newer, fresher start.

FatCat's Scully Pride

""Where's the car your mom rented? What did she get us, a convertible?" I grinned.

"Uh, no, it's not a convertible. It's over there." Scully pointed up the street toward a Toyota Corolla.

"Scully? A Corolla? I can't fit into a car that small comfortably."

"Uh, no, Mulder. Not the Corolla, the... erm... one in front of it."

I looked again and whistled. "A Cadillac Escalade? Your mom rented a Escalade for us?"

"She said something about it being handy to have with so many guests around." She couldn't meet my eyes. I knew she was embarrassed.

"Scully," I leaned down to force her to look at me. "Your mom told me about your Aunt Maeve. It's okay. I had some relatives just like her so I do understand.""

AU-- Mulder offers the Vineyard to Maggie's snobby relatives, good-naturedly hosting their get-together. The love bomb and a proposal is dropped; and Charlie fights Scully over her initial refusal.

WordsSpillFromMyOpenVeins_89's Weekend At Martha's Vineyard

""Less then ten minutes later, William was fast asleep on the floor and snoring with Ishy next to him.

Mulder pat the back of William's head, ran his hand down is back, feeling the rise and fall of his tiny chest.

"Oof. Don't know how much longer I'll be able to do this, bud. You're growing up", Mulder whispered against his floppy auburn hair.

Mulder reached out his right arm, to brace against the wall before taking the last two steps up to the second level of the Hamptons Style Bungalow.

Mulder carried William up to his bedroom, unlaced his converse sneakers and placed them on the floor, at the foot of the bed. Carefully covering William with the Van Gogh Starry Starry Night bedspread and tucking the edges under him, to keep him warm.""

AU-- S9 Mulder, Scully, Will, and their dog all vacation at Martha's Vineyard. While there, Mulder proposes; and all is chummy and famfic-y.

Enjoy!