#i do want to be clear that im not saying this because i want to 'cancel' john gaius or whatever

[viagracex]

could you do a George Clarke one shot where him and maxs sister are secretly hooking up? All good if not x (love your work btw)

Off Limits

george clarke x balegde!reader

summary: george is secretly hooking up with max's sister. what starts as no-strings-attached turns into something more

warnings: brief mentions of sexual content

note: if this feels a little rushed im sorry, i tried not to have to write it as two parts.

4.4k words

Masterlist

₊ ˚ ˚ ₊ ‧ 。☆ 。‧₊ ˚ ˚ ₊ ‧ 。☆ 。‧₊ ˚ ˚ ₊ ‧ 。☆ 。‧₊ ˚ ˚ ₊

You weren’t meant to be here.

The rational part of your brain knew that.

Yet, lying in George Clarkey’s bed, tucked under his sheets, skin still warm from his touch, you feel the weight of his arm draped over your waist. You know this is a disaster waiting to happen. But at this point, it’s almost tradition.

A night out turns into tipsy flirting. Flirting turns into one of you cracking first and texting where u at? And before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re tangled up in him, his hands gripping your waist, his mouth pressing hot, lazy kisses against your neck, and the world shrinking to just you and him. The way his mouth moved against your skin, the way his hands gripped your body—it always felt like an electric current between you.

This had been going on for months now—longer than you ever expected. What started as a drunken mistake had turned into a routine. Nights out ended with you texting him, or him texting you, or one of you finding an excuse to be at the same place at the same time, until you ended up here. Sweaty, satisfied, and entirely too comfortable in his bed.

It was just sex. Really good sex. That’s all.

But it couldn't be more complicated.

For one, George Clarkey was one of your brother's closest mates.

And Max had made it painfully clear that dating YouTubers was off the table.

"They’re all walking red flags, babe," Max had said once, waving his hands for emphasis. "All of them. You’d just become another London Content Creator’s Girlfriend, and I won’t be having that."

Not that you and George were dating.

You were just… shagging George Clarke in secret.

And maybe that was worse.

But that was the key difference—the thing that made this somewhat okay.

You weren’t a couple. You weren’t sneaking around because of some grand forbidden romance.

You were just fucking.

And it was casual.

Totally.

Absolutely.

…Okay, maybe there were some complications.

Like the fact that George could be an oblivious idiot at times and that you were slowly falling for him.

As you turn your head on the pillow, watching George lazily stretch in front of you, his hair a messy tangle on the pillows, you can't help but admire how good he looks even after just waking up. He catches you staring and a smirk tugs at his lips.

"You're thinking too much," he says in a rough, sleep-filled voice, and when you glance over again he’s watching you through lidded eyes, his dark hair sticking up in every direction.

You scoff, turning onto your side. “I’m thinking about how screwed we’ll be if Max ever finds out about this.”

George smirks, his grin only grows wider as he pulls you closer until you’re pressed against his chest, his warm skin against yours sending shivers down your spine. “Then we just don’t let him find out.”

You let out a resigned sigh. "Easy for you to say. You don't have to live with him."

George chuckles, pressing a lazy kiss to your shoulder, and fuck—that should not feel as nice as it does.

“Relax,” he murmurs against your skin. “We’re being careful.”

You want to believe him, but a nagging doubt persists. "Are we though? Being careful?"

George's fingers trace lazy patterns on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "Course we are. Max hasn't got a clue, has he?"

You bite your lip, remembering all the close calls. The time Max almost walked in on you two in the kitchen. The suspicious glances when you laughed too hard at George's jokes. The way your cheeks flushed whenever he was mentioned.

"I don't know," you mumble. "Sometimes I think he suspects something."

George's hand stills on your waist. "You worried?"

You turn to face him, studying the lines of his face in the dim light. His blue eyes are soft, filled with concern. You hate how much you like looking at him.

"Maybe a little," you admit. "It's just... Max has always been so protective. And he's made it clear how he feels about his friends dating his sister."

George's lips quirk into a half-smile. "Good thing we're not dating then, eh?"

You roll your eyes, but can't help smiling back. "Right. Just fucking."

"Exactly," George says, pulling you closer. "Nothing to worry about."

But as he kisses you, slow and deep, you can't shake the feeling that this is far more complicated than either of you want to admit.

Weeks pass, and your "arrangement" with George continues. The sneaking around gets easier, the guilt less noticeable. At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

But then there are nights when you catch yourself staring at him too long. When your fingers linger in his hair, when you laugh too hard at his jokes, when his hands slip under your hoodie, and you realize—this doesn’t feel casual anymore.

You don’t just look forward to those stolen moments—you need them. You tell yourself it’s about the thrill, the secrecy, the rush of slipping out of Max’s flat unnoticed. But the truth is, you like waking up in his sheets. You like the way he pulls you back into bed, groaning that it’s too early. You like how he makes you tea in the morning, knowing exactly how you take it, without needing to ask.

And suddenly, the thought of this ending makes your stomach twist.

You should say something. You should ask him if he feels it too.

But you don’t.

Because once you say it out loud, you can’t brush it off anymore. 

If you admit it, you can’t take it back.

And you’re not sure if you’re ready for that.

One night, after a particularly wild party at some private club celebrating another one of the Sidemen’s achievements, you end up with a group of friends back at George‘s. The bass from the music downstairs thrums through the walls as George presses you against the door, his lips hot on your neck.

"We shouldn't," you gasp, even as your fingers tangle in his hair. "Someone could come up..."

George grins against your skin. "That's half the fun, innit?"

You're about to retort when the door handle rattles. Your heart leaps into your throat as you hear a familiar voice on the other side.

"George! You in there?"

It's Max.

You freeze, panic flooding your system. George's eyes widen, but he quickly springs into action. He shoves you towards his closet, motioning for you to hide. You slip inside just as George opens the door.

"Yeah, mate. What's up?" George's voice is impressively casual.

"Have you seen my sister? Can't find her anywhere."

You hold your breath, praying Max doesn't decide to search the room.

"Nah, sorry. Maybe she went home early."

There's a pause, and you can picture Max's suspicious frown. Your heart pounds as you listen to the conversation through the closet door. You can practically feel Max's suspicion radiating through the wood.

"Right," Max says slowly. "Well, if you do see her, tell her I'm looking for her."

"Course, mate," George replies smoothly. "I'll let her know if I spot her."

You hear the door close and let out a shaky breath. A moment later, the closet door opens and George's face appears, a mix of amusement and concern in his eyes.

"Coast is clear," he whispers, helping you out.

You stumble slightly, the adrenaline making you unsteady. George's hands catch your waist, steadying you. The touch sends a familiar spark through your body, but the fear of almost being caught overshadows it.

"That was too close," you mutter, running a hand through your hair.

George nods, his expression sobering. "Maybe we should call it a night. I'll sneak you out the back."

You agree, and with George's help, manage to slip out of the house unnoticed. As you make your way home, you can't shake the feeling that your luck is running out.

The next few weeks are tense. You find yourself jumping at every sound, convinced that Max is about to burst in and catch you in the act. George notices your unease and suggests taking a break, but the thought of not seeing him makes your chest ache in a way you're not ready to confront.

As autumn creeps in, painting London in shades of gold and crimson, you find yourself spending more time at George's flat. The cozy nights in, wrapped in blankets and each other's arms, start to feel dangerously domestic. You catch yourself imagining a future where you don't have to hide, where you can walk hand-in-hand with George down the street without fear of being spotted.

One chilly evening, as you're curled up on George's sofa watching a movie, the weight of the secret becomes too much.

"George," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I think we need to tell Max soon."

He turns to you, surprise etched on his features. "You sure? I thought we agreed to keep this under wraps."

You nod, twisting your fingers nervously. "I know, but... I'm tired of sneaking around. And honestly, I'm starting to think that this might be more than just casual."

George's expression softens, and he pulls you closer. "Yeah," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I've been thinking the same thing."

-------------

It wasn’t meant to happen like this.

but apparently, George is an idiot.

The tension in the air was palpable as you walked into your shared flat to find Max holding George's hoodie like a piece of evidence at a crime scene. His eyes narrowed as he asked, "Why is this in our flat?" Your heart raced as you tried to play off the situation nonchalantly. "Maybe George left it here," you suggested with a shrug.

Max's gaze flicked between you and the hoodie. "In your room?"

Your throat tightened as you replied, "Maybe."

Max's mind worked like a detective on a true crime documentary at that moment, piecing together the puzzle before him. And then, his expression changed from confusion to horror, his jaw-dropping.

"You're shagging George," he exclaimed.

You winced and tried to downplay the situation. "Max—"

"YOU'RE SHAGGING GEORGE," he repeated, his voice growing louder.

Frustration and embarrassment washed over you as you dropped your head into your hands. "For fuck's sake, can you not say it like that?"

But Max was already caught up in the drama of it all, looking around wildly like he was in an episode of punked. "How long has this been going on? When did this start? Why am I just finding out now?!"

You shifted uncomfortably. "Uh...a while?"

"A while?!" Max's disbelief was evident.

"...A few months?" You offered weakly.

"MONTHS?!" Max couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"It's not a big deal!" you insisted.

"Not a big deal?! You’re shagging my mate!" Max's frustration reached its boiling point.

You flinched and pleaded with him to lower his voice, but he continued to express his disbelief that this was happening behind his back. In a desperate attempt to calm him down and protect your relationship with George, you blurted out, "It's nothing serious! We're just...having fun. Casual."

Max blinked in surprise. "Casual? With George?"

You nodded, trying to defend yourself. "Yes?"

"With George?"

"Yes, Max!" you exclaimed in frustration.

Max's expression shifted as he absorbed the information and then whipped out his phone.

"What are you doing?" you asked nervously.

"Texting George," he replied, his thumbs flying across the screen. "He has five seconds to explain himself before I track him down and make him piss himself."

Before you could stop him, George walked into the flat at that exact moment.

Perfect timing, you thought sarcastically.

George froze upon seeing the tension between you and Max. His eyes flicked from you to his hoodie in Max's hands, and it was clear he knew exactly what was going on, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

"...Shit," he muttered under his breath.

"So it's true!" Max shouted. "You absolute little—"

But before he could finish his sentence, George raised his hands like a hostage negotiator. "Alright, before you get mad—"

"I'M NOT MAD!" Max yelled, which only confirmed how mad he actually was. "I'M JUST CURIOUS AS TO WHY YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?"

Max paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "I can't believe this. My best mate and my sister. It's like a bloody soap opera!"

You and George exchanged nervous glances as Max continued his tirade.

"How long has this been actually going on? And don't lie to me!" Max demanded, his eyes narrowing as he looked between the two of you.

George cleared his throat. "About... six months?"

"Six months?!" Max's voice rose an octave. "You've been sneaking around behind my back for half a year?!"

You winced. "We didn't mean for it to go on this long. It just... happened."

Max let out a humorless laugh. "Oh, it just happened, did it? What, you tripped and fell onto his dick?"

"Max!" you exclaimed, scandalized.

George stepped forward, his hands raised placatingly. "Look, mate, I know this isn't ideal—"

"Ideal?!" Max interrupted. "This is the opposite of ideal! This is a bloody nightmare!"

He turned to you, his expression a mix of hurt and betrayal. "And you. I warned you about getting involved with YouTubers. I told you they were all walking red flags!"

You felt a surge of defiance. "George isn't like that. He's different."

Max scoffed. "That's what they all say. And then next thing you know, you're just left high and dry”

"It's not like that," George interjected, his voice firm. "This isn't just some fling."

Max's eyes widened as he looked between you and George. "What are you saying?"

You took a deep breath, reaching for George's hand. "We didn't mean for this to happen, Max. But... it's more than just casual now."

George squeezed your hand, a small smile on his face. "We care about each other. A lot."

Max stares at you both, jaw clenched so tight you think he might actually crack a tooth. His fingers twitch at his sides, like he’s debating whether to pace, punch something, or just scream into the void.

Finally, he exhales a sharp breath and rakes a hand through his hair, pacing a tight circle before stopping in front of George. His glare could burn a hole straight through him.

"You," he says, voice tight. "You, out of all people."

George swallows, standing his ground. "Look, mate—"

"Don’t 'mate' me," Max cuts him off, shaking his head. He lets out a humorless laugh, but there's no amusement in his eyes. "This is actually happening. You—" he jabs a finger at George's chest, then turns to you, scandalized. "And you?!"

You don’t answer. What could you possibly say? Sorry I broke your one rule? Sorry I fell into bed with your best mate and accidentally started catching feelings?

Max lets out another deep, exhausted sigh, dragging a hand down his face. "I can’t believe I’m saying this, but—" He levels George with a look so sharp it could cut glass. "You actually give a shit about her?"

George doesn't hesitate. "Of course I do."

Max narrows his eyes, searching George’s face like he’s waiting for him to blink, to crack, to say something stupid that will give him an excuse to deck him. But George holds his gaze, unwavering.

After a long beat, Max scoffs, shaking his head. "Fuck me."

He turns away, pacing again, muttering something under his breath. You barely catch the words "This is my villain origin story."

Finally, he stops, pinches the bridge of his nose, and points a finger directly at George.

For a long moment, silence filled the room. You could practically see the gears turning in Max's head as he processed this new information. Finally, he looked up at you both, his expression resigned.

"You're serious about this? Both of you?"

You and George nodded solemnly. "We are," you said softly.

Max sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. "I can't believe this is happening. My best mate and my little sister. It's like some bad rom-com."

He stood up suddenly, pointing an accusatory finger at George. "If this is just some game to you, Clarke, I swear to God—"

"It's not," George interrupted, his voice firm. "I care about her, Max. More than I've cared about anyone in a long time."

You felt your heart flutter at his words, a warmth spreading through your chest.

Max's gaze softened slightly as he looked between the two of you. He could see the genuine affection in your eyes, the way you unconsciously leaned towards each other.

"Fine," he said finally, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I can see this isn't just some fling. But I swear, George, if you hurt her—"

"I won't," George assured him quickly.

Max continued as if George hadn’t spoken. "—I will end you, I will make your life a living hell. I will start beef with you publicly. I will make a YouTube exposé, I will get you cancelled on Twitter. I will make sure your brand deals drop like flies. I will be so fucking annoying that you will never know peace again."

George nodded solemnly, as if this was a completely resonable response  " Understood."

Max turned to you, his expression softening. "And you. You're sure about this? You know what you're getting into, dating a YouTuber?"

You smile softly at Max, touched by his concern despite his outburst. "I'm sure, Max. I know it won't be easy, but hes worth it."

Max groans dramatically, flopping back onto the sofa. "I can't believe this is my life now. My best mate and my sister. What's next, Mum dating KSI?"

You and George both choke back laughter at the mental image. The tension in the room eases slightly as Max's dramatics break through the awkwardness.

George chuckled nervously. "Does this mean we have your blessing?"

Max shot him a withering glare. "Blessing? Don't push it, mate. I'm still processing the fact that you've been sneaking around with my sister for months."

You winced. "We really are sorry about that, Max. We didn't mean for it to go on so long without telling you."

Max ran a hand through his hair, his expression a mix of frustration and resignation. "I just... I don't understand how this even happened. When did you two start... you know?"

You and George exchanged glances, silently debating how much to reveal. Finally, you took a deep breath and launched into the story.

"It started at Cal's birthday party," you began. "We were both a bit drunk, and one thing led to another..."

Max groaned. "Please spare me the details."

You rolled your eyes. "Nothing happened that night. But after that, we kept running into each other at events and parties. We'd flirt, maybe share a dance or two. It was harmless at first." As you speak, Max's expression cycles through disbelief, anger, and grudging amusement.

"...and then we just kept finding excuses to see each other," you finish lamely. "We didn't mean for it to become anything serious, but..."

"But it did," George adds softly, squeezing your hand.

Max groans, flopping back dramatically on the sofa. Muttering something about how this wasn’t how his day was supposed to go.

He sits up suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at George. "And you! What about all those girls you're always banging on about in your videos? That better all be a lie?"

George has the decency to look sheepish. "Ah, well... might've exaggerated a bit there, mate. For content, you know”

Max's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Exaggerated? Or flat-out lied?"

George shifted uncomfortably. "Well..."

You jumped in, trying to diffuse the tension. "Look, Max, the point is, George and I are together now. For real. No more sneaking around or lying."

Max sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. "I still can't believe this.” He stood up suddenly, pacing the room. "And what about when this all goes public, eh? Have you two geniuses thought about that? The fans will go mental. You'll be harassed non-stop."

You and George exchanged glances. It was clear neither of you had given much thought to the public aspect of your relationship.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," George said finally. "For now, we just want to focus on us. And making sure you're okay with this."

Max scoffed. "Okay with it? I'm far from okay with it. But..." he trailed off, looking between you and George. Despite his anger, he could see the genuine affection in your eyes, the way you instinctively leaned towards each other.

Then, after a beat—reluctantly, begrudgingly, like it physically pains him to say it— " I mean, I'd rather you weren't shagging one of my mates, but honestly?" He turned to George with a knowing look. "You could've picked worse. At least I know George. Even if he is an idiot sometimes."

George protested, but there was no real heat behind it. He knew Max was right - he could be an idiot sometimes. But when it came to you, he was determined to do better.

Relief washed over you as you threw your arms around your brother. "Thank you, Max. Really."

He hugged you back, then pulled away to point a finger at George. "And you. No funny business when I'm around, got it? I don't need to see my best mate snogging my sister."

George nodded solemnly, though you could see the mischief dancing in his eyes. "Wouldn't dream of it, mate."

Max gives him one last death glare before sighing dramatically and turning back to you. “I hate this. I hate it. I swear, if I ever walk in on anything, I'm moving out and never speaking to either of you again."

You laughed "Deal."

You and George share a glance, and suddenly, it doesn't feel as scary anymore. The weight that had been pressing on your chest for months lifts, replaced by a giddy lightness. You can't help the smile that spreads across your face, mirrored on George's.

As Max continues to grumble and mutter about the unfairness of it all, you and George gravitate towards each other. His arm slips around your waist, pulling you close, and you lean into him, reveling in the feeling of finally being able to do this openly.

The autumn sun streams through the window, casting a warm glow over the room. Outside, you can hear the bustle of London life - cars honking, people chattering, the distant rumble of the Tube. But in here, in this moment, the world has shrunk to just the three of you.

George's thumb traces lazy circles on your hip, sending shivers down your spine. You breathe in his familiar scent - a mix of cologne, laundry detergent, and something uniquely him. It's comforting, and grounding.

Max catches sight of you cuddling and makes exaggerated gagging noises. "Oh God, it's starting already. I'm going to need therapy after this."

You and George laugh, the sound mingling together in a way that makes your heart skip. You realize that this is the first time you've been able to laugh freely together in front of others, without worrying about giving yourselves away

As the days turn into weeks, you and George settle into a new rhythm. No more sneaking around, no more hushed whispers and furtive glances. Instead, there are lazy Sunday mornings spent tangled in his sheets, the London rain pattering against the windows. There are impromptu double dates with Max and Andrew, where you catch yourself marvelling at how natural it feels to be out in public with George, his hand intertwined with yours.

You find yourself falling deeper in love with George every day. It's in the little things - the way he makes your tea just right without asking, how he laughs at your terrible puns, it just makes your heart swell.

The YouTube world explodes when news of your relationship finally breaks. Your social media notifications blow up, a mix of excited fans, shocked friends, and the occasional hater. Your DMs are flooded with a mix of congratulations and jealous messages. You learn to ignore the hate comments and focus on the supportive messages from friends and fans.

Max, true to his word, makes a show of dramatically covering his eyes whenever you and George so much as hold hands in his presence. But you catch him smiling softly when he thinks you're not looking, and you know that deep down, he's happy for you.

As autumn fades into winter, you find yourself spending more and more time at George's flat. Your toothbrush migrates to his bathroom, your favourite mug finds a permanent home in his kitchen cupboard. One night, as you're curled up on his sofa watching old Sidemen videos (George insists it's "research"), he turns to you with a nervous smile.

"Move in with me," he says, his voice soft but sure.

Your heart skips a beat. "What?" you ask, barely above a whisper.

George takes your hand, his thumb tracing circles on your palm. "Move in with me," he repeats. "Half your stuff is here anyway. And I... I want to wake up next to you every morning."

You study his face, taking in the hopeful glint in his eyes, the slight flush on his cheeks.

Your heart swells with emotion as you look into George's eyes. The nervous hope there, the vulnerability – it's a side of him you've grown to cherish over these past months. You think about how far you've come from those first furtive encounters, sneaking around and convincing yourselves it was just casual fun.

"Yes," you whisper, a grin spreading across your face. "Yes, I'll move in with you."

George's face lights up, and he pulls you into a kiss that leaves you breathless. When you finally part, you're both laughing, giddy with the promise of this new chapter.

The next few weeks are a whirlwind of boxes, packing tape, and furniture rearrangement. Max helps you move, grumbling good-naturedly about being demoted to "pack mule" status. But you catch him giving George a stern talking-to when he thinks you're not listening, something about "taking care of my little sister, or else."

As you unpack your life into George's space – now your shared space – you're struck by how seamlessly your belongings fit together. Your books nestle comfortably next to his on the shelves. Your favourite blanket drapes over the back of the sofa, adding a pop of colour to the room. In the bedroom, your clothes hang side by side in the closet—proof that you’re done sneaking around, done pretending this is casual. Proof that this is real.

[mythalism]

i think what people need to understand is that no amount of essays assuring me of veilguard's strengths, of which i agree there are plenty, is going to change the fact that the emotional experience veilguard prompted within me (and for many others) while i played it was a deeply negative one. discomfort at best, painful at worst. im talking stomach aches. visceral, somatic creeping disappointment and dread that i tried to fight for hours and hours but eventually had no choice but to accept. i stopped wanting to play entirely around 30 hours. i felt vaguely ill. i felt anxious. i could not sleep for a few days. and im not saying i felt sick because it was so bad, but that i felt sick because of the sinking realization that i was about to be terribly, horribly disappointed after so, so long. you could call me dramatic and im sure someone will. idk what to tell you. my emotions manifest physically long before they become decipherable or understandable to me mentally, especially when they're 10 years in the making. probably an autism symptom. regardless, it was genuinely pretty awful, especially because i had immense good faith for this game. i was so hopeful and optimistic and generally thrilled and literally anyone who followed me before october 31 would know that. the emotional whiplash and crash was intense and devastating, and i was reeling for days. you cannot tell me that this experience was "wrong" or "toxic" due to it's negative nature. it was entirely involuntary and outside of my control, as i would expect many people's joy was. emotional reactions are not beholden to fandom discourse.

any post i have made criticizing the game since is attempt to make sense of the emotional roller-coaster of the past 10 years, this summer, and finally this game's release. i do not come on here and write out my criticisms of veilguard because i want YOU to dislike it too. the nature of my essays are not persuasive. if they do persuade you its just because i am a well-trained essayist. sorry. if they dont, great! that wasnt the point. i have no desire to change anyone's mind on the game, in fact i actually would not wish the disappointment i felt on anyone. the fact that i have a lot of followers who agree with what i say and who spread the thoughts i express across tumblr is literally out of my control. when i write out my long-winded criticisms, it is out of a need to express and externalize that sinking, cold feeling i had while playing, in pursuit of understanding exactly why playing that game felt that way to me. identifying, analyzing and verbalizing is the only way i have been able to process my experience. its confessional and therapeutic more than anything. it helps other people understand their own difficult emotional process with the game. its not an attempt to ruin your fun. my negative experience with veilguard does not invalidate anyone else's positive one.

i see so many posts acting like all criticism is an intentional, targeted hate campaign and i dont understand that assumption. to what ends? what would that achieve? why would i bother with such a thing? maybe that is some people's intention in the deep hater corners of this website, and im blissfully unaware. if it is, fuck them. its certainly the intention of annoying grifters, but i feel the distinction between transphobe grifters and devastated fans is pretty clear, so im not sure why the lines are deliberately blurred as if those groups are remotely similar. some of my criticisms come from a more objective place. the writing comes to mind, and it's a consistent criticism from thousands of players. but just because i consider it to be poorly executed, does not make it unlovable. and when i say that i think its poorly done, i am not saying that you cannot or should not love it, or that you are stupid for loving it. maybe someone out there is saying that!!! but i am not. things do not have to be perfect to be enjoyable. they dont even have to be well executed to be enjoyable. "i think x aspect of veilguard is poorly done for yz reasons" is a completely different sentence than "you should not like x aspect of veilguard for yz reasons". these are not the same statements. i see so many posts that are so vitriolic and acting like two experiences of this game cannot coexist, that one has to win and be objectively right, moralizing them on a false axis of positivity = good and negativity = bad, and acting like the existence of one negates the experience of the other. and why? why would that be true? i literally love so many things that other people think are absolute ass. i also love plenty of things that i myself think are actual ass. i love them anyway. this is allowed and really fun. i am not sure who told you that it is not.

however, i have just as much of a right to express my disappointment as you have to express your excitement. i am genuinely happy for everyone who loves the game, i am glad it resonated, or that you saw yourself in its characters, or that it just scratched your hyperfixation itch. but whatever je ne se quoi it had for you, it did not have for me. i have written out so much criticism about so many aspects of the game, but fundamentally what it comes down to and what i cannot express in words is that while i played after waiting 10 years for that moment, it felt wrong. it wasn't that i had specific expectations for game story that were not met, in fact, it exceeded my expectations in a lot of ways. i mean that in terms of how i felt, something was off. it did not resonate. it did not land. it did not hit the right cord with me. i did not have enough moments of joy to outweigh the feeling of emptiness. i did not walk away from it feeling the way that the previous games made me feel. and ive been trying to figure out exactly why that is for three months now by talking about it with people who feel similarly. i am not sure that i will ever be able to analyze my way into figuring it out. it might just have to simply be that it left me bereft.

and so my posts are not anti-veilguard hater propaganda to make you feel like shit for loving the game. rather, they are me verbally processing exactly why i feel like shit so i can hopefully stop feeling like shit. to assume that people who are trying to process these negative feelings are toxic and intentionally malicious is a projection made in bad faith. i love dragon age, and it is because i love it so much that it disappointed me, and it is because disappointed me that i have to verbally process it on tumblr.com so that i dont go absolutely insane. i tag my posts properly. i do not go into tags where i do not belong. i do not rage-bait. i am participating in post-partum dragon age therapy between me and my followers. if it ends up on your dash, sorry. my therapy is popular i guess. so please for the love of god enjoy the game, freely and enthusiastically. i am happy for you. i will sit here and be jealous that it spoke to something in your soul that it unfortunately did not speak to in mine, and nothing i say can take that away from you. please stop interpreting it as an attempt to.

[janaelalfysloml]

you’re gonna go far - pazzi x reader

a/n: okay this is based off a thing that @starlighttsv posted ! this story is gonna have things abt suicide , mental health and all of that stuff so if your not comfortable please dont read ! ilysm and if anybody needs anything im here or you can text or call 988 !

warnings: maybe typos? , suicide , death , mental health , grief , antidepressants

November 18th, 2024

you’ve always had mental health issues, but never like this. you’re psychiatrist prescribed you lexapro to help with your depression & anxiety , but they haven’t helped. you’ve talked to paige and azzi about you mental health , and they’ve helped but they haven’t thoughts are still there. just recently you’ve been getting suicidal thoughts. you spent all of your nights studying & wondering about what life would be like if you were no longer here. schools been torturing you and you dont feel happy anymore. you wanted to reach out to someone, but you didn’t want to feel like a burden. you decided to take a nap to clear your mind for a couple of hours.

November 21st, 2024

you decided that tomorrow was the day. you’ve dealt with everything for way to long and you couldn’t take it. you spent the whole day talking with paige and azzi , trying to make the most out of your time with them. they wouldn’t have known that you were choosing to make a decision that you could never take back. “we should go out and do something fun! your always in the house” azzi told you, as you went to your room to get ready. you put on some jeans with a brown shirt and your uggs.

you guys drove to the apple orchard, something you haven’t dont since you were little. you tried your best to make the most out of the day and tried to be happy with them. paige put her arm around you while you guys walked. it made you feel good and you started to regret what you were going to do tonight. “i love you so much, yknow?” paige said as she kissed your hand. “we should go to target, the apartment is missing some things.” azzi said as she skipped ahead of you guys.

paige and azzi were out , they had a late practice today. you finished cleaning and restocking the apartment , when your thoughts came back. you went and laid in your bed as you wrote your final notes to everyone you loved. you were set on this , eventually you texted and left some voicemails for paige and azzi. you felt so empty, so alone . you didn’t want to die, you just wanted your thoughts and feelings to stop. you walked into the walk in closet of your room that you shared with paige and azzi . you grabbed the chair , tied the knot , and hung yourself.

after paige & azzis practice

“why’d y/n call us so many times?” paige asked as she walked to her car. “i have like 80 voicemails from her, it’s weird.” azzi said as her and paige drove off.

“hey y/n?” paige shouted as she walked into the apartment, unaware of what she was about to see. she eventually made her way into the walk in closet and saw you. “shit,” paige said as she tried to get you down. “azzi call someone, she’s not breathing.” paige said as she laid you on the floor, trying everything & praying that somehow you’d wake up, knowing deep down that you never would.

eventually, help came. paige and azzi wrote the handwritten notes that you had left for them, and the rest of your loved ones. in your note, you apologized that they found you this way and that you were sorry for being selfish because you took your life. “she was so happy, and full of life, what happened? what did we do?” azzi said, her eyes were red and puffy from how much she cried. they would always be scarred for life, because of how they had found you. “did we say something, or do something? we were always with her when we could be.” paige said, she was numb, inside and out. “i can’t do the game tomorrow without her. i dont want to.” paige added on.

a/n: okay yall i physically cannot finish this im litterally sobbing what. this is the most thought I’ve ever put into a story and im proud. @starlighttsv i hope this is what you were asking for !! also my dms are always open to anyone! i love u so much y’all!!

[77zrose]

ZB1 REACTION TO THEIR S/O BEING A YAPPER

genre : ot9, fluff “ 🛋️ .*

( for my yappers out there. im taking req so if u want go ahead and tap the “zzz” on my profile and make a request! )

김지웅 kim jiwoong

Jiwoong would find your endless chatter adorable. He’s the type to listen attentively, occasionally nodding or smiling, letting you know he’s engaged even if he doesn’t say much. When you start rambling about something random, he’d just lean back and enjoy the way your eyes light up.

Jiwoong :

“You’ve been talking about this for 30 minutes now, and I still don’t know how we got here. Keep going, though—I like hearing you.”

When you realize you’ve been talking too much and apologize, he’d gently shake his head.

Jiwoong :

“Don’t apologize. I love how excited you get when you talk.”

성한빈 sung hanbin

Hanbin would adore your chatter and be the most patient listener. He’d give you his full attention, nodding and reacting to your stories like you’re the most interesting person in the world. Even if you talk his ear off, he wouldn’t mind.

Hanbin :

“You’re so cute when you get excited about things. What else happened? Tell me more.”

If you apologize for talking too much, he’d immediately reassure you.

Hanbin :

“Don’t ever stop. I love hearing what’s on your mind. It makes me feel closer to you.”

장하오 zhanghao

Zhanghao would listen with genuine interest, chiming in at the right moments to keep the conversation flowing. He’d find your energy refreshing and wouldn’t mind if you jumped from one topic to another.

“Wait, wait. How did we go from talking about your lunch to this conspiracy theory about pigeons?”

Even if he gets lost in the conversation, he’d admire your enthusiasm.

Zhanghao :

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who can talk this much, but somehow you make it entertaining.”

석매튜 seok matthew

Matthew would be amused and entertained by your endless talking. He’d laugh at your tangents and might even try to match your energy by chiming in with jokes or comments. He’d make it clear he enjoys your company, even if you’re rambling about something totally random.

Matthew :

“Wait, so you’re saying you almost burned the kitchen down because you were distracted by…a cat meme?”

If you ever felt embarrassed about talking too much, he’d brush it off.

Matthew :

“Are you kidding? I love how much you talk. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

김태래 kim taerae

Taerae would quietly listen to you with a warm smile on his face. He wouldn’t interrupt you but would occasionally nod or respond softly to show he’s paying attention. When you ramble about something silly, he’d laugh gently and encourage you to keep going.

Taerae :

“You have such a way of making even the smallest things sound so interesting. Don’t stop.”

If you ever worried about annoying him, he’d shake his head.

Taerae :

“Annoyed? Never. I could listen to you all day. Your voice makes me happy.”

리키 ricky

Ricky would find your constant talking both hilarious and endearing. He’d tease you playfully but would secretly love how expressive you are. When you go off on a tangent, he’d lean back with a smirk, waiting for a chance to tease you.

Ricky :

“You’ve been talking for ten minutes straight—do you ever run out of breath?”

But when he sees you pouting, he’d soften immediately.

Ricky :

“I’m just kidding. I like it when you talk. It’s fun watching you get so animated.”

김규빈 kim gyuvin

Gyuvin would be overwhelmed at first, unsure how to handle your constant talking. But as he gets used to it, he’d start finding it comforting. He might zone out occasionally, but he’d always snap back when he hears something interesting.

Gyuvin :

“Wait, what? Back up a second���did you just say your dog can ‘talk’ too?”

He’d grow to love your chatter, even if he can’t keep up all the time.

Gyuvin :

“Honestly, you could talk all day, and I’d still enjoy having you around.”

박건욱 park gunwook

Gunwook would find your endless talking amusing and might even try to match your energy. He’d throw in random comments to keep the conversation lively and would probably encourage you to keep going, even if it’s about something completely random.

Gunwook :

“So you’re telling me you spent three hours watching videos about…otters? And now you want to adopt one?”

When you apologize for rambling, he’d shrug and smile.

Gunwook :

“Hey, I like hearing you talk. It’s never boring with you.”

한유진 han yujin

Yujin would be a little shy at first, unsure how to respond to your endless talking. But as he grows more comfortable, he’d start listening intently and even laughing at your tangents. He’d think your chatter is cute, even if it leaves him speechless sometimes.

Yujin :

“Wow, you’re really passionate about this. I don’t think I’ve ever thought that much about…toaster ovens.”

If you ever felt self-conscious, he’d reassure you quietly.

Yujin :

“It’s okay. I like it. You’re fun to be around, and I learn so much just from listening to you.”

[vialviolence]

Hi! I saw requests are open and I was wondering if you’d be willing to write some Cuddling Fluff with Jason Todd? If not please disregard this ask. Thank you!

Hi lovely! First of all thank you for being my first request and yes! This is such a cute idea and I love it! I know that this isn't really a fluffy fic for the most of it but i had the idea and i couldn't stop it.

Softcore

Jason Todd x Reader

Training had put a strain on your body that you just couldn't seem to shake for anything. The shower didn't work, yoga didn't work, stretching didn't work, it felt as though your body was contracting into itself and it hurt like a bitch.

So there you laid in your bed facing the ceiling as you rested the heating pack against your back and let out a sigh. It had done little to nothing to numb the ache in your back but it helped you more than you thought it would. The pain was excruciating. The heat drifted up into your back and it felt comforting.

Then there was a knock on your bedroom door and you lifted your head and turned it to see jason looking through your door with a smile on his face. He pushed the door open and leaned on the wall.

"whats going on with you sunny? you're never this tired" he asked, he had called you sunny since you had met him. You were literally sunshine in a bottle, that and you had the powers of the sun stored in your body.

"dicks been training us everyday for the past week, won't send me on patrols or missions but he'll make sure my body is in pain for the next fucking week" you exclaimed and he laughed as he walked into your room and closed the door

"how bad is it?" he questioned and you turned your head in his direction making eye contact and raising your eyebrows.

"jace, i swear i think im dying, i've never felt this type of pain and i was kidnapped before" you said and he nodded as he walked over to your bed and sat on the edge of it.

"hes been pissy lately, something happened with bruce, he won't tell me what but i think its bad. like really bad but he won't say anything and i'm not going to force him to" jason said and you nodded

"yeah i thought so, doesn't mean he has to take it out on us during training" you spoke and he laid down on your bed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him. You rested your head on his chest and let out a sigh.

"im sure you'll survive sunny, you always do" he stated as he kissed your forehead gently and ran his fingers down your back. He played with a strand of your hair as you nuzzled into him and he watched you with a smile on his face.

You two hadn't specified your relationship yet but he didn't care because he at least got to hold you close. he wouldn't push on the idea because he didn't want to. he didn't want to push you away with the idea so he left it alone.

however in that moment, it was clear that there was something there and you two had something and he knew it. So he held you close and he kissed your forehead and he let your fingers trace the scars he had gotten over the years and he let you get close because he wanted you close.

he had what he wanted, just not the full thing in that moment but he knew that he would get it. He would get the girl.

A/N: hey lovely, thank you so much for being my first request. I truly love you for it and i hope you like this fic!

[lycanthropicture]

one thing i am so grateful to have outgrown by my mid 20s is like. my desire to justify my own existence. the belief that i am somehow a waste of a life if i dont contribute something unique and perfect and irreplaceable to the world, whether its scientific or financial or artistic or any other type of personal legacy. did you guys know (hear me out) that you actually dont have to justify yourself to anyone ever. did you guys know that you are allowed to just be and that is enough. and you owe nothing to anyone except to give yourself over to loving the world and your community and caring for it in the way it cares for you. you must shovel your neighbors walkway not because it will buy you freedom from your guilt or shame or entry into heaven or good will or bc they shoveled yours last week and you owe them. you must shovel your neighbors walkway because your neighbor looks tired and you have some extra time before work and youre already outside anyway. it doesn't have to be selfless im not saying you cant also want some of those other things. im saying the overarching narrative of a life worth living is bullshit if you fail to live in the smaller moments. there is no grander plan here, you will not achieve the long desired success you hope to grasp one day and finally feel proud and successful. there is no such thing as tomorrow there is only today and today the thing that matters (matters more than anything else on the planet!!!) is that the man on the street who asked you for money has something to eat tonight. 200 years from now no one will remember you. if you're really lucky, they might still say your name, but no one will remember you. but there was one day in history where a tired neighbor woke up to a cleared walkway and a man didn't go to sleep hungry and someone felt seen and someone felt loved and all you can do and be in this life is love. and so basically what i mean to say is that you should love. everyone.

[galaxymagitech]

The Symbol of the Bat

For @casscainweek Day 4: Quotes | Comic Panels

Inspired by the panel/quote above where Cass says she's loyal to the Bat symbol, rather than Bruce.

Summary: After finding out that Dick is alive and undercover at Spyral, Cass confronts Bruce.

Characters: Cassandra Cain, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson

Warnings: Some canon-typical violence (a punch and a shove, mentions of blood), referenced abuse

Technically this is Part 2 of a series, but you don't need to read Part 1 to understand what happens.

You can read it here or on AO3!

Dick left hours ago. Cass knows she should stand, but she can’t seem to find it in her. Instead, she sits on her tattered couch, bare toes digging into the soft, faded fabric, and stares at her plaster walls.

Dick left hours ago, but just before that, he returned. Cass had thought her older brother was dead, but it was all a lie. All Bruce’s lie. Because there Dick was in Hong Kong, doing business with an organ trafficking ring on behalf of an organization he was infiltrating. He moved wrong, like a flightless bird, and his face was too fuzzy to read. But underneath the weights on his limbs and the technology Spyral used to obscure his identity, he was Cass’s big brother.

Cass is thrilled that Dick is alive, but she can’t ignore what his body showed her. The hurt, the desperation, the fear. Dick did not abandon his family. Not by choice.

He made her promise not to tell anyone. Said that no one could know he was alive, for the sake of the Mission. Cass had agreed. But Bruce already knows. And Bruce is the one who hurt her brother and—she grasps for the word—coerced him into going on this mission.

Sliding to her feet, Cass shuffles over to the drawer where she keeps her phone and pulls it out, scrolling to Tim’s contact.

I need a favor, she types.

It’s shortly after noon back in Gotham. Tim responds almost immediately.

sure

im going to regret this aren’t I

Cass smiles. She doesn’t think he will.

***

Tonight in Gotham, there are two Batmen. One is Bruce Wayne, the man who saw a bat fly into his window, the boy who made a vow to his father. The other is Cassandra Cain.

She follows Bruce, sticking to the shadows but allowing him to perceive her presence. He ends his patrol early and leads her back to the cave. Then, he turns to Cass, body blank. “Explain.”

Cass removes her own cowl and stuffs it in her bright yellow utility belt. The cowl fits perfectly—Tim must have gotten someone to tailor the suit he stole on her request.

Following Cass’s lead, Bruce removes his own cowl, holding it in his gauntleted hands. Cass wonders exactly how things went down. Dick didn’t give her specifics. Didn’t even confirm Cass’s guess that Bruce hurt him, but she knows that she was right. After all, Dick didn’t try to deny it, knowing he couldn’t lie to her.

Was Bruce wearing gauntlets when he fought Dick? Or were his fists bare? Was that cowl still on? Did he speak, or did he just strike, again and again and again? 

And he did fight Dick. There’s no doubt about it. Alfred had told her that Bruce had wrecked the cave in his grief. But Cass knows now that Bruce was not grieving. She can put the story together.

There was blood on the glass shards of Jason’s memorial case, Alfred said. Bruce wouldn’t show him the injury. He’d worried that this was self-destruction, was Bruce inviting infection.

Cass knows better, now.

“Why are you Batman?” Cass asks.

Bruce grunts. Cass looks at him expectantly until it’s clear she wants a real answer. “To wage war on Gotham’s criminal element.”

Cass nods. “Why did you become Batman?”

“To wage war on—”

“No,” Cass interrupts. It’s not a lie, but it’s not a truth either.

“I took an oath to clean—”

“No.”

Bruce pauses this time before he speaks. “To help.”

“Why?” Cass asks.

“Because I cared,” Bruce says. “And no one else did.” Good. He’s finally listening. “What is this, Cassandra?”

Cass reaches into her utility belt and pulls out a batarang. She runs a gloved hand along its sharp edge, tilting it consideringly and watching as it reflects the Cave’s artificial light. It’s an interesting weapon. Bats don’t kill, but if used incorrectly, a batarang could be lethal. It almost has been. “I am a Bat,” Cass says, tapping the batarang. She waits.

“Hn.” Bruce’s body signals agreement. Cass is a Bat.

“Are you?” Cass asks.

“I’m Batman.”

Cass swallows. Her gaze slips to Jason’s memorial as she replaces the batarang in her utility belt. She remembers what Alfred said.

“Why aren’t you in Hong Kong?” Bruce asks.

“I met someone there,” Cass says. Her blow is swift—one moment she’s standing across from Bruce, hands down, and the next Bruce is raising a hand to his cheek in shock. Blood on the shards of glass. Cass can almost see it, even though Alfred meticulously cleaned the Cave floor. “You hurt my brother,” she says. “You hurt Dick.”

Cass clocks the moment Bruce realizes, when his surprise turns to tension and horror. And then, those too are gone, replaced by cold indifference. “I did what was necessary.”

“What about family?” Cass asks. She doesn’t understand how the man who taught her so much has forgotten all of his own lessons. “Care? Love?”

“I love Dick,” Bruce insists. The indifference is cracking, though. “I love all of you.”

Cass believes he believes it. He used to, at least. But nowadays, Batman is more myth than man, more shadow than substance. He is an idea—unkillable, but emotionless too. “He lies for you,” Cass says. “He would die for you. But you’re…not real.”

She places a hand on Bruce’s chest, just over the Bat symbol.

“And you’re not a Bat,” Cass whispers. “Not anymore.”

Bruce’s face twists, and he rips her arm away. Cass lets him. At least it’s an emotion. “I hated it,” Bruce admits. “But I did what I had to do. If Dick doesn’t do this, people will die.”

Cass shakes her head. “Didn’t want to go.”

“It was necessary!” Bruce takes a strong step forward. Cass doesn’t flinch, just tilts her head up to meet his eyes. “It was for the Mission!”

There’s a fire in him. It scares Cass. “Blood on the glass,” Cass snarls. “You hurt my brother. Batman would not do that.”

“I needed to know he was ready! And this Mission—it’s bigger than me or you or Dick. I wish I could have done it any other way, but I couldn’t!”

“You made Batman to give,” Cass says. “This…you did not give.”

“I gave my son!” Bruce shouts hoarsely. “I sent my boy away!”

“No!” Cass shoots forwards, slamming her body into Bruce’s and forcing him back. “Not yours to give. You wanted, so you took.”

“I’ll tell you what I told Dick, when he insisted on playing this game.” Bruce warns. “You got your one free hit.” Cass remembers that. Remembers standing to the side with Tim as Bruce and Dick fought over Bruce’s attempt to abandon his civilian identity. Maybe Cass should have seen something then, but she was still new to the Bats. And the way they fought—there was still care there. Still love. Bruce was still her Batman. He isn’t, now.

Cass lets her lips curl into a smile. “Good,” she says, raising her fists. “Let’s fight.” Cass does not want to fight. The thought of fighting Bruce for real twists her stomach into knots of grief. She fights to stop and to understand. But she already understands. And even she can’t get Batman to stop with force alone. “You hurt my brother. Hit. Beat. There was blood on the glass!”

“It was necessary,” Bruce argues desperately. “And he agreed, in the end. He—“

Cass cuts him off. “Dick isn’t good at saying no. But this time…he did. And you—,” Cass points her words straight at Bruce’s heart, “—ignored him.”

Bruce freezes for a moment, like he’s deciding what to think. Buffering, Barbara would say. “What do you want?” Bruce asks, eventually. He sounds tired. Put-upon. Like Cass is asking something of him. Like she is exhausting him. “To hurt me, like I hurt him? I’m not proud of it, but I did what I needed to do, and I’ll accept the consequences of that. But you can’t tell your brothers. Not about this.”

He's not listening. He’s making this about him. About his pain, his punishment. This is about Dick—and the symbol. Luckily, Cass knows how to fix that.

She lunges forwards, gripping Bruce by the fabric of his Batman suit and forcing him against the wall. Cass is over half a foot shorter than him, but Bruce has the good sense to look wary. She withdraws her batarang and slices the Bat symbol from Bruce’s chest. Then, Cass releases Bruce and steps back, holding the fabric in one hand and the batarang in the other.

“You forgot,” Cass says. “I told you. I am loyal to this. Not you.”

Bruce holds one hand over the hole in his suit, like Cass tore out his heart. His face is twisting into a strange mix of pain and grief. Cass told him he hurt his son, but this is what breaks him.

Batman, as Cass knew him, is gone. She hopes Bruce can find him again.

“You used to fight for…compassion,” Cass says, clenching her fist around the Bat symbol. Her chest aches. “Love. You don’t now. You were…a protector. Now, you hurt your children. You used to be good. You lost that. You…are not Batman.”

“Gotham needs a Batman,” Bruce says quietly.

“It has me.” Cass turns away. Let him attack her. She does not want to read the anger-grief-despair in his body. The emotions she has caused. “You will tell Dick’s brothers. Or I will.”

“Cassandra—”

Cass spins around, pointing straight at Bruce’s chest. She tries to think of something to say, something that will show Bruce what he did. But nothing comes to her lips. Slowly, she turns until she’s pointing at the cases where all of Batman’s spare suits sit.

Each and every one of them has the Bat symbol ripped from its chest. And it’s only now that Bruce notices.

(Cass doesn’t think Bruce has been Batman in a long time. Not really. Not in his heart.)

“It’s over,” Cass says. “We can fight. But it’s over.”

Bruce’s shoulders slump. He does not lunge forwards. He does not open his mouth to speak.

Cass turns around and walks towards the stairs up to the Manor. Bruce doesn’t call out to her as she leaves.

***

Cass will go to her brothers. They will welcome her home with open arms. She will try to smile.

Bruce will lean against the wall, sliding down until he’s sitting on the Cave’s cold floor. He will stay there for a long time.

Eventually, Bruce will stand, walk towards Jason’s memorial case, and run a hand over the smooth glass. He will imagine the daggers of it digging into Dick’s back. And then he will realize that he does not have to imagine, because he saw it. He did it.

Still later, Bruce will tell his family that Dick is alive. Jason will punch him in the face. Bruce will say he deserves it, and Cass will shake her head, because that doesn’t do any good. At dinner, Bruce will announce that he is retiring. No one will believe him except for Cass, who will be clutching a slip of fabric with a Bat symbol under the table.

That night, a new Batman will be seen in Gotham. One who you never see coming until it’s too late, who is never caught on film, who is only spoken of in hushed whispers. He is a demon, they will say, not knowing that the girl beneath the cowl spends Saturday afternoons playing videogames with the older brother she single-handedly rose from the dead.

Dick will try to see Bruce. His siblings will try to stop him, but they will fail, because nothing can stop Dick Grayson. He will stand across from Bruce, and neither of them will know what to say.

“Not yours,” Cass will say solemnly, slipping her hand into Dick’s and turning away. They will leave. And still, Bruce will not call out.

He will leave Gotham the next morning.

[ender1821]

re: shinyduo/gempearl being so not normal about each other after life series. other anon was so right why are they freaky.

pearl is definitely just as at fault imo. gem’s excellent at innuendos and tone of voice (“your red skin is my favorite~”) but pearl’s yes and filter falls apart in front of gem. the pickles a prime example, and the ren stream disaster wedding of course. she’s also very genuine and i love that for her. but that results in crazy lines like the “love you gem. always will. even if you dont want me, ill still be there.” TO STREAM WHEN GEM WASNT EVEN THERE.

and i need to mention the latest stream. Pearl “I only get asked if im gay when you’re in the picture” and how they both have to take a minute of silence to process that flejelejwkej. whose fault is that pearl? whose fault ?? to her credit she seems genuinely confused by the extent of her actions. the most damning evidence for her straightness i fear. rip gem though, she seems to be having fun anyway.

theyre both professionals and follow up in that stream with how the fandom will always play around with them as characters etc etc. good communication, very healthy, good for them. but this post is about why they graduated from shenanigans and innuendos to 2 hours of fanservice and it doesn’t even feel intentional half the time.

as for next life series, i would be shocked if they didn’t keep up this befuddling yuri bit. theyve mentioned seeing all the tierlist maker dream team posts and pearl had to ask her chat “OTHER than gem, who should I team with” so theyre well aware demand is there. theyre fantastic as enemies and well aware of that, but they could get some scarian level drama by teaming together, and i dont say that lightly. since pearl keeps stalling pvp on hermitcraft, theyre never getting that 1v1 without cosmic intervention or a declaration of love 😭

rambling now. love to hear your thoughts xoxo

yippee i love anon rambles!!! im glad we’re all unwell

im NOT gonna go on another rant about the life series alliance situation because as i’ve just demonstrated yesterday i can literally rant. for hours. and we don’t need that lmao. at this point whether or not they team up in the next one SOMETHING will happen. i have that much faith in them. they’re bound to run into each other and do something and that’s the shiny duo connection speaking god bless

like the other anon said, i do think they can work with just about any dynamic and it’ll be insanity-inducing either way. one of my favourite things about them just as a pairing (in any context, platonic, romantic, etc.) is just the way they will drift towards one another, to be linked in a way that’s indescribable, to always carry a piece of each other with themselves wherever they wander because the influence they’ve had on the other is irrefutable— and okay yeah they’re getting way too freaky about it get out of my fan fiction-esque rant. what are you doing here. why are you like this. what. like there’s something going on when what they’re getting up to creeps more and more into being what i usually read in fics. i. hello???

i really, really want to give them the benefit of the doubt. okay. listen. for every mention of feet and poking at pearl’s straightness, there’s a chat message behind it that warranted it, i’m sure. this isn’t the post to be getting into how fans are with cc boundaries and how we’re STILL bad at figuring our tags out, but i feel like this discussion eventually HAS to touch on the fact that it’s been made clear that they don’t want to see shipping stuff, and bringing it up in chat crosses that boundary just as well. i think they’ve handled it well in acknowledging that they’re aware it’s for their characters, drawing clear lines between what they’re comfortable with and what they’re not, etc. i think just the muddled lines from people continuously bringing stuff from a fandom space up to a cc contributes a lot to why we got. whatever happened on that wednesday stream. honestly, from these instances on stream i think it’s been shown that they just find this stuff amusing, and good for them, y’know? still doesn’t mean we should be regularly poking them about ships and. well. i dunno. literally bringing it up in chat?

but still. BUT STILL. god the ways they “yes, and” each other just keep getting worse. stuff like the pickles and the wedding (and the SL ep 4 ender dragon fight! still one of the most baffling “yes, and”s i’ve ever seen from them, i swear to god) were almost completely just them. that was just them. there’s no blaming chat for gem saying “wait, i don’t have a beard” right after pearl rejects ren for having a beard, and CERTAINLY NOBODY ELSE TO BLAME when pearl takes that and literally proposes to her. that was all them. and why. girl. huh??? i do believe, at least to some extent, that pearl is oblivious to the implications of what she does/says. but that only goes so far. sorry man i can only give so much benefit of the doubt for like 2-3 streams of 2 hour fan service. good lord

i was texting a friend who isn’t into mcyt about this whole. thing. and the way i described it was: imagine being a gempearl shipper, and you’re enjoying life, driving this train with fanfics and fanart and everything’s all good… and then for some reason gem and pearl jump on the train, hijack the conductor seat and starts directing the train elsewhere. nearing the end of that stream i was questioning my life and screaming for a way off this train. that’s how it felt to me. of course i’m exaggerating but like. genuinely how did we get here

[zzpyr0]

(Before i say anything more i want to make it clear that i dont hate the person im talking about here nor do i think shes a bad person, i just need to get this shit off my chest. Personal vent below)

Im so sick and tired of my friend continuasly implying i have it way easier than her. For context shes a trans girl, a trans girl who got into social transition mere months after her first gender therpaist appointment and is VERY close to HRT, only having issues with her dad and a few family members having trouble adjusting (being in a phase of denial). Why is this important? Because she constantly implies i have it so much easier than her. A woman who has gotten so far in her transition with relative ease, is telling me, a guy who is nowhere near SOCIAL transition, let alone medical, whos gender therpaist doesnt even believe him, a guy who has parts of his family that have a high possibilty of just straight up abandoning him, lives with a step-dad who constantly rubs in that hes his “daughter”, who only has the support of his mom (barely mind you) that i have it easier. All because im closer to turning 18 than her.

At this point im not even sure if she understands that i cant just magically get T when the clock strikes midnight on my 18th. I dont understand her behaviour. Dont get me wrong, im not saying her life is all sunshine and rainbows, im just so fucking tired of someone whos gotten so far (significantly easier than me) telling me that i have it easier because im “close” to 18 years old and her dad is a dick to her sometimes (guess what, mine is too. Constantly. You want a fucking medal?)

[jackiespurnell]

I cant think of anything different for Jackie as an ask but i would like to hear your take on her character. Maybe bless us with a character analysis???

ahhh okay!!! i have so many thoughts on her!!!! for starters, i wanna talk about why i think some ppl in the fandom hate her sm cause ive never seen anyone whos neutral on her tbh like either ur a jackie anti or a jackie stan theres no in between.

i see a lot of people using the fact that her only crime was being a teeanage girl as an argument to defend her and while i wholeheartedly believe that, i think that’s the exact reason why people dislike her. i think a natural instinct that viewers have when watching a show is to take the sides of the "heroes." people usually root for the people with the best moral code (which is why nat is so beloved, besides the fact that she's hot asf). but in a show based on survival, where morals for the most part go out the window the second everyone is stranded in the wilderness together, nobody cares if you're the realest or the more relatable. in fact, i think in a show that is based on things that are highly unlikely to happen/deals with topics outside of everyday things, you're more likely to prefer characters that aren't real. in stuff like yellowjackets, people want the batshit crazy ones. they want the cult leaders and the butchers and the psychopaths. its made very clear that jackie isnt any of these things. you dont go into a show about cannibalism and murder and survival and think of a character like jackie. 

she's not the typical final girl. shows like these make you want to root for actively seek final girls. so of course, most people aren't going to gravitate towards jackie. i think ive seen maybe two people aside from myself on tumblr who jackie is their number one character and theres a reason for that. shes simply not what most yellowjackets viewers are looking for.

also, shes just a girl trying to fit into society and doing a pretty damn good job at it, at least on the outside. i think that’s another part of the reason she has so many antis, because 99% of the people want to fit in one way or another but if you’re getting seen/treated as an outcast, of course you’re going to envy the cool, popular girl. it would be another story if she was bitchy and mean but the fact that she’s so nice probably bugs people too without them even realizing it. sorry, but it’s the truth - people hate girls who are pretty and kind. jackie is that.

now, im not saying she’s perfect whatsoever, she has several flaws, she can be super vain and demanding sometimes, and even bossy, although i do believe a lot of that comes from obliviousness and compulsory heterosexuality (which, i won’t get too into cause i feel like a lot of people have already talked about it).

now, for a character study i think her defining trait is her popularity which is insanely sad, but also, its true. you see that she only knows how to be a cool, popular high schooler and the second all that doesn’t matter anymore, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. there’s a mitski songs with the lyrics “if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn’t know how to be alive” and i think that describes her perfectly. in a time and society where everyone has a public and a private side, and i think spent so long crafting ‘public jackie’ that she forgot how to be ‘private jackie.’ she spent so long trying to be a pretty girl that she forgot how to be just a girl.

i also think a reason that she was so kind to misty - outside of her just being a kind person - is the fact that jackie saw herself in misty. while i don’t think jackie was ever unpopular, i don’t personally believe that was always as cool and charismatic and we see her in high school. i think she was always charming to a certain extent, but i truly think entering high school she went the extra mile to become beloved and popular. misty was trying to do the same thing as jackie, she was trying so hard, and as much as i love misty, she was failing. jackie felt bad for her because she knew, not so long ago, she was kind of similar to her. jackie was also trying too hard. i saw an ella purnell interview where she said that sometimes she (ella) forgot she was a person, instead of a brand and i believe jackie resonates with that. she forgot she was a person, not just a popular girl.

she forgot who she actually was outside the makeup and the smiles and the perfect girl persona so much so that when the plane crashed, she didn’t know how to be. because while the other girls slipped out of their public image, jackie didn’t know who she was outside of her public image.

it got so bad that i don’t even think shauna truly loved her. shauna, who just wanted what was best for her best friend. shauna, who never really wanted jackie to die. shauna never really loved her, because shauna never really knew her. we see loads of bunnies around adult shauna’s house, when in reality, we know jackie hated bunnies. even shauna only saw the idea of jackie that she showed people, and that’s not shauna’s fault by any means, but it just goes to show that jackie never really let anyone in.

i think the most tragic thing about jackie by far, is that, ultimately, she just wanted to be loved. and she thought that by putting on this whole facade of having her life together and being the cool, hot soccer captain, people would appreciate and love her. but she mistaked being loved for being admired. and, as sad as it is, i think jackie died without anybody truly loving the real her.

tysm for the ask @yourlocalsaiko

[kalisseo]

i know this is so late!! I barely check my strawpage 💔💔 but anyway yes ofc!!

I know this asks for s3 but I'm gonna mention s2 bc I think it's important

also big big warning im a tophabe shipper and an over analyzer blah blah what clone high did y'all watch blah blah im delusional. also sometimes I forget words or phrase stuff weirdly, so I hope that my gibberish makes sense to you!

anyway, now to the interesting stuff!!

how topher feels about people and friendships

a bit unrelated but not really, I think most people loved clone alone, and how all the boys interacted, and me too! it was funny, and a lot of people wanted topher to be a part of the boys group, and obviously me too, but, even though I loved the idea there was something that didn't convince me about it...and i couldn't figure out why until s3 aired

topher's friendship with the bleacher creatures works because they're all outcast

and that's a bit of the reason why topher and abe's friendship worked (in a way)

Topher feels understood by the bcreatures, something he wouldn't have with many people

Topher's feelings towards people, as a whole, are a bit different to his different towards friendship, so first let's take a look at

how he feels about people in a more general view

(this is mainly s2 bc I don't think one can talk about s3 without it, u can just skip it to the next section tho)

Topher has a clear resentment towards the popular or "normal" clones, he tried to cater to people's sympathy using his woke persona, but his peers probably never liked him because of his shitty behavior (personally, I see Topher as more socially awkward that intentionally rude in s2, this doesn't mean that I'm trying to justify him, but in s3 is when he actively tries to ruin the rest of the clones day, when in s2 he's just intentionally "evil" a few times) and topher never understood that was the reason, creating this hate or resentment towards them.

in s2 he's pushed to the side on some occasions, for example in s2e5 when harriet rejects him twice in her musical because well she doesn't like him. another example could be the death maze where jfk destroys his phone and spends more time with abe (something that he caused to himselfff but yeah), then in s3 we have the dialogues 'until she kicked you to the curb' by jackee and 'the same curb we've all been kicked in' by topher, he clearly felt ignored by his classmates, and personally I think he's referring to abe forgetting him and talking to jfk and confucius.

also his roll call song 'nobody likes me, I do not know why',repeating it, but I think it's important to keep it in mind, to Topher, the rest of the clones don't have a reason to hate him but they do, who wouldn't hate their classmates when they seem to hate you too without a reason?

(my personal view is that he blames it on being a clone of columbus, that's why the name change and the woke persona)

so, in a general view, topher first starts to cater to his classmates so they would like him, more than friendships he wants fans, to say in a way, he wants people to like him. he doesn't really seem to care about friends, which could kinda count as canon, s2e2 he only talks to abe because he's basically forced to. all his attempts fail horribly, and even though he made a friend, abe left him too, so he decides to hate everyone and embrace his horrible side, and to me, because of Abe he had mixed feelings.

at first, he probably thinks that friendships aren't really important anyway, and that Abe is just another popular kid who pushed him to the side. I like to think that even so, abe made him realize that maybe he shouldn't be that selfish.

topher and friendships in s3

buttt the way he thinks about friendship in s3 is clearly different to the way he did in s2!

like i said before, in s2 he doesn't seem to care much about it, but in s3 his friends seem to be everything to him!

and to me it's because of what i said earlier, topher feels understood by the bleacher creatures

all of them were losers, outcasts and 'kicked to the curb', they all know what it's like to be slone

maybe topher doesn't really have what he 'always wanted', but he gets a group of friends that for once aren't weirded out by him, he cares about them

one of the reasons why I think his friendship with abe changed his view about how he needs to interact with other people, it's because yeah, topher keeps being bossy with the bcreatures, but he listens to them and pays attention to what they want, something he didn't really do with abe

improvement, if you will, to me this shows how much he doesn't want to lose them

to me, topher is also able to connect with them because he sees them as special, or well different, not in a bad way, but to him they're the same kind of different as him, again, he feels understood, he feels that they're all together against the world, and he tries to keep the group together

he kicks out joan because she didn't respect them and was causing trouble even though joan is supposed to be his crush

then during cloney island, they all decide to just. die there. together, because they're finally accepted, not getting too much into this because this alone could be its own post, but when they decide to escape, it's just because they were convinced that escaping death would bring them closer (bond people, something like that)

sadly I don't have a screenshot rn, but just look at him, he was so happy to be having a bonding experience with his friends

so yeah, topher goes to not really caring about having friends, to them being an important and essential part of his life, and wanting to keep them together, friends are now one of the most important things for topher, he's able to open up to them because they just understand each other

bleehhh

i made a first draft for this post, but I was focusing too much on s2

and I actually have a post like this! but really old so consider this a re make

anyway anon I hope this post gets to you

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[citrusai]

taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.

[chronologically-challenged]

I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."

[to-illustrate-the-stars]

happy birthday to the cat lover ever of all time... my worstie matoba seiji 🐈‍⬛🐈

[frobby]

rin 1000000% has a list somewhere of things hes good at that yukio is bad at