#i do think everyone should be free to headcanon whatever they please
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cherie-doll · 18 days ago
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:3c hiii, if it's not a bother, could you write more headcanon's for the cod men as parents? I think I might have died from cuteness overload while reading that one.
ahh ofc!! i've been wanting to write more so this is perfect, thank you <333
𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Them As Parents #3
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ʚĭɞ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto
Price
He adjusted to being a father a lot easier than he thought he would, somehow his kids are a lot easier to keep in line than the tf141
He's constantly announcing every little thing or accomplishment the kid has done, and he forces everyone to listen and they kinda have to because what else are they going to do? Say no? Wouldn't even think or dare to do that
He's just so happy to carry his chunky babies around, and loves it especially when you're feeding them, he smiles endearingly and you're like "what're you smiling for?" "I love seeing my babies growing"
Omg and imagine your babies having that same heartwarming smile he has, awwwww-
Ghost
He knew taking care of kids would be... something
But he sees how hard you work, how late you stay up trying to get the whiny baby to sleep, but he just won't stop fussing and moving and you don't want to wake Simon because he's supposed to be resting from just having come back
But he hears your tired sighs and pleading to the baby to please sleep, so he comes up behind you and gently takes the baby while telling you to go rest, that you need it
And hearing his low, smoky voice gives you such relief you almost cry because you've been sleep deprived
Soap
He taught the boys to show respect and love to you all the time, it's almost overwhelming!
Once a neighbor encountered this scene where Johnny had just gotten back from picking up the kids from school and he ran out the car yelling "Whoever gets to mom first gets to kiss and hug her!"
All three of them practically bolted inside the house and tackled you
And even if they play roughly, getting muddy and dirty they make sure to rinse off with the hose and wait before entering to dry off, they wouldn't want to ruin the effort you do to keep the house spotless, and guests who come over are always surprised at how you manage to keep the place so clean when there's two- well technically three boys with Johnny who hasn't lost his playfulness
Gaz
Can't help but imagine how Kyle would be like with his teen daughter
He loves her to death and would do anything for her, he's interested in whatever she's into and loves going along with her to go out and stuff
Especially if she's a little more on the loner side and doesn't have many friends :(, he'll throw in all his free time to make sure she gets out and has fun
And he's especially protective when someone is interested in dating her, he doesn't take kindly to them especially if he senses some underlying intentions
Closes up, clams up and his kindness and hospitality is gone, only the stone cold faced sergeant
Roach
He's never been a father before, what's he even supposed to do? The most he's taken care of is a hamster and the bug collection that's on display
Probably doesn't really hit him until you really start to show, like he's excited but constantly jumpy at any sign of pain you show, you wince? Should he get the car started? Feel a kick? The baby must be coming, right?
You've had to calm him down, tell him you appreciate his enthusiasm but that he needs to be the one to calm down, probably getting more sentimental than you are right now
Omg and the moment he saw you give birth and hold the baby he was shaking and crying, he couldn't believe he witnessed that, he's staring down at his baby girl and he's thanking you by pressing kisses to your forehead
She's definitely a daddy's girl, always sticking close to him and developing an interest for his same hobbies
Alejandro
I can see this man turning into mother the minute the child is born, like you've already given birth to his kids you've done enough now let him take over
He can cook pretty well actually and loves sneaking up out of bed to prepare the kids breakfast and surprise you by the time you wake up with breakfast in bed
Also, he has to stop his habit of swearing around the kids, most of the time it's in Spanish but your kids will still pick up on it and try using it sentences when it's certainly not appropriate
He's also telling the kids stories of when he was their age that are blown out of proportion, very common for him to exaggerate and add details just to make them gasp and believe it, thinks it's funny because they're so gullible and you're just standing there listening to his nonsense shaking your head
Rudy
He practically melted when you told him you wanted to try for a baby
He's over the moon daydreaming about it, having a mini you and him
The type to be wanting to set up for the nursery as soon as he finds out you're expecting, also he just loves doing things around the house like the malewife he is that you almost suggested he carry to term instead
He'd a daughter and would be the one singing lullabies, cradling her little body gently in his arms as he practically twirls around the room
Just watching that angelic little face that smiles when she wakes up and sees his loving face, he's the happiest man there could ever be
Practically living life through rose-colored glasses taking care of his princesita
Phillip Graves
He was made to father children
Those great genes of him make beautiful, cute babies that get fawned over everywhere you go
Showing off his offspring like if they were his greatest life achievement
He's so proud to have you too, he's bragging how you managed to give him kids and how well you do caring for them and him <3
He loves loves buying them toys of which you constantly scold him for, they've got so many!
Also, refuses to pay for a nanny or babysitter, even for dates you to go off on he'd rather a close family friend if it's ABSOLUTELY necessary, but he's trained and educated his kids so well you two could go to a fancy dinner and they would keep still
Makarov
He's probably always thinking about having more and more kids
Like he can't ever get tired of them, once his first child was nearing teen years and his second and third were already well past their toddler stage he just wouldn't stop bringing the conversation up
Until it's past midnight and kid one will come in saying they don't feel well and ask for medicine, then kid two comes crying because they've just had a nightmare and kid three threw up and kid four made a mess and won't go to sleep-
He's constantly buying them toys when you tell him they had more fun playing with a box and bubble wrap than the expensive playset he bought them, still he doesn't mind letting his money fly when it comes to you or his kids, for that he has no limit
Just shrugs and hands the kid money when they ask for it (wouldn't that be useful?)
Keegan
He wanted one kid only and that's because according to him "kids are too much work", but he pisses you off probably more than the kid
He also gives terrible life advice, telling the kid how to get away with stuff when he thinks you're not listening but suddenly you come around the corner giving him a glare and reminding him if he keeps this up he'll be the one dealing with it because it's his fault
You're surprised your kid doesn't come back seriously injured when they're out with Keegan, not that he's reckless but he tends to show the kid to do things that they aren't exactly ready for... like those huge, sharp pliers you saw barely being held by small, tender hands, you were clutching your chest the entire time scared while Keegan told you he'd be fine, only doing some yard work
König
König as a father is such a common thought in my head, like he becomes 10x more daddy material
Just seeing him come home tired but still clean up and throw on some sweatpants to play with his toddlers who have a ton of energy
And also carry the baby who's less than a year old while sitting on the living room couch watching the others play has you going feral
Just seeing him like that makes you want to birth more babies for him, you're literally begging him to put more babies in you while he softly goes "no"
It's not that he doesn't want more but he sees how hard you work taking care of them and he doesn't want to stress you out :(
Horangi
Poor Horangi finds himself in the absolute weirdest predicaments, one of the girls lost her favorite stuffed toy, last she remembers she had been playing with it outside in the rain
Now he has to spend over an hour outside looking for it in the dark with a flashlight in hand as he searches for the damn thing because otherwise she won't go to sleep, you're inside holding her while she sobs about her plushie
After who knows how long he finds the old thing, it's covered in mud, the fur matted and not to say... foul smelling, definitely needs a good wash, so there he is inside scrubbing it and using a hair dryer because the drying machine would take too long
Until finally, he can hand it over and watch her turn in bed happily snuggling with the stuffed animal
God is it hard to be a parents but it's rewarding and so worth every moment
Nikto
This man gets drunk off the thought of having children with you despite he's always put off whenever you brought the possibility up
Still, he likes to think about it, the chubby hands reaching out for him, a soft voice calling for him, oh and how you'd look... all caring and nurturing towards the little thing
Yeah screw it he wants one or two or-
He just wants it to be his turn, his one chance at a haven
Oh and he's turned into the softest most gentlest creature that there could ever be, he'll silently observe as you feed her, just admiring this beautiful scenery like a painting
One night, Nikto insists on putting the baby to sleep, you let him while you go get ready for bed and when you come back to check on him he's singing in soft tones while placing the already sleeping baby in the crib, you lean on the doorframe careful not to make noise and just enjoy the moment
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sm-baby · 11 months ago
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MASTERPOST - Piece by Piece ♟️
NEW MASTERPOST DROPPED!! The name is subject to change~ don't worry~
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Characters:
Meet Mei-lyn!
Rolandus!
Meet The King and Queen!
Queen (Pre-evolved)
Meet Councilwoman Mars!
Meet Mr. Weiss!
World Building:
Cards and Chess pieces!
Card personalities
Different species!
Evolution Guide
And yes, they evolve like pokemon.
Black Chess pieces
Black and White kingdom
Time frame
SILLIES!!!:
Yes, Mei-lyn gets paid well
SLUTSHAMING!!!
Dont talk to me until I had my coffee
Morning entertainment
no bitches! 🎉🎊
oh shi character ai
HONK!!!
Little Fuckface Shithead
Human centipede🎶
Party Tension (oopsies!!!)
Give my girl a break
╔══ ❀•°❀FAQ❀°•❀ ══╗
" How old is Mei-Lyn?" - Mei Lyn is 23 years old! Started working for the king and queen at 17, got the cock-blocking job at 18. " How tall is the cast?" - MAN... HEIGHTS ARE A HEADACHE... I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THAT "Will we ever see a black king and queen?" - They come when they come! I don't think they'll be any time soon though. " Do the King and Queen have an heir?" - Naur, though they know that they'd have to at some point. Either way, they'd be very neglectful parents.
"Did the Queen and King love eachother?"
- Bro was a cheater from the beginning and the queen knew damn well. That did NOT stop her from marrying him and becoming queen tho. She's greedy and wants power.
"Why is Weiss' sister a black chess piece?'
- Weiss is mixed!
" Are black chess pieces african coded?"
- Nope! Black/White chess peices are a secondary ethnicity. There are white chess peices that are african coded.
" Can I rizz up Mei-lyn?" - Mei-lyn doesn't believe in true love. She's uncommitted and will leave you at the altar.
╔══ ❀•°❀BOUNDERIES❀°•❀ ══╗
"Can I make OCs In PTP?" - Yess!! Multiple people already have and they make me so happy! do whatever, as long as you're happy and having fun!! " Can I make NSFW?" - Yas and slay! Just keep Mei-lyn out-- she was originally a sona and-- while I'm detached from her enough to not take the simping personally, NSFW would still make me uncomfortable. - Other than that, everyone else (WHO IS LEGAL AND NOT PROSHIPPED) should be free! Please just be sure to tell and spoiler it, etc. etc. be responsible when posting NSFW! " Can I make Fanfics?" - - Yes and please show me!! That would be lovely!! " Can I ship the characters/self ships/ OC x Canon?" - Same as NSFW! Everyone is free but Mei-lyn! Though I find one-sided crushes and the simping endearing and funny (PROSHIPPING IS ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED.)
" Gender and sexualitie headcanons?" - I don't like labels. All my characters are straight until said otherwise-- and I am uncomfortable with people headcanoning my OCs with genders and sexuality. I wish to have control over that. - Though, I'm flattered with mlm/wlw OC x canon shipping with the OCs! That's different in my brain for some reason!
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meanbossart · 6 days ago
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ASK COMPILATION: BODY HAIR, BHAALIST DU DROW, BLOOD INQUIRIES, THE MAN'S DICK AND HOBBIES.
Answering more asks! As always, I want to apologize for not being able to get to everyone - literally nobody has ever complained about it, but I still feel bad 😅I appreciate everyone's questions and sweet messages all the same, and even if your ask isn't here I hope you can be entertained by the other replies!
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Anon I feel terrible about having to say this because I can tell you were hoping for a specific answer here, plus doing your very best to sell your pitch to me -
But DU drow hates body hair.
I'm not making this up in the spot just to be a contrarian, this is one of various unimportant character details that have come up already at some point or another, for whatever reason. It is no coincidence that many of the characters he finds unattractive do have visible body hair, like Gale and Halsin whose hairy toes he dreads the sight of.
I refuse to believe that elves are truly dolphin-smooth as that would be an absolute biological nightmare, so both him and Astarion have a normal amount of peach-fuzz all over. Otherwise, DU drow finds the sight of anything longer/coarser than that unseemly, and the feeling unpleasant; it is simply what he grew up with and hence what he's used to. In this respect, he wants people who take after his own image.
As with most things, he could forgive it if he were in love with someone - assuming you don't mind the occasional joke about it. And unfortunately I think something as significant as Halsin's case would be too off-putting for him to ever give them a chance. A Shadowheart situation, on the other hand, he could grow to like.
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I believe there's some sources that imply bhaal-corrupted(?) blood should taste a particular way, leaning towards the unpleasant. People can make up whatever headcanons they want with that information, BUT since I spent over half of this game supplying the guy with the stuff and he seemed all too pleased about it, I choose to assume it's not that bad.
I think there would be something... Lively about it? Fairly normal taste but it leaves a tingle on his tongue, like it squirms on its way out and dies in his mouth moments before it can hit the throat. Very salty, but it could just be his skin.
[FAR, FAR MORE UNDER THE CUT]
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Bhaalist DU drow likes both cats and dogs just fine (again, he considers the animal kingdom to be it's own thing and hence removed from his fate to butcher humanity) and you wouldn't be wrong to assume he has a thing for dogs in that AU because of their unconditionally loving and loyal nature, however Bhaalist DU drow is still very much a cat person. He likes their independence, their little attitudes, their self-sufficiency, plus the fact that they keep the rat population in check inside the temple. He finds those qualities admirable, respectable, perhaps he would even find them desirable in a partner if, unlike he cats, he wasn't so opposed to them roaming free.
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In-game DU drow succeeded the check required to spot Astarion before he could jump him - so yes, just not the version where they end up rolling awkward around the sand for 2 minutes, LOL.
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He's semi aware of it, or at least he becomes aware whenever Astarion's mask slips. When Astarion is putting on a good performance, DU drow wholeheartedly believes it. Also, It's worth noting that Astarion does manage to have fun occasionally, and have periods of... Superficial happiness? They just so happen to be unfulfilling, and don't make up for all the other pitfalls of his situation when they inevitably come crashing back. He's also great at tricking himself into thinking this is a good time.
Bhaalist DU drow makes vague attempts at "making things better" whenever he catches him in a mood, usually through physical affection or lavish gifts. That works well enough the first year I think, before everything kind of loses its luster. After that, DU drow just gets it into his head that Astarion "doesn't understand what he must do to succeed and keep him safe".
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This is a VERY interesting observation and... Maybe? Especially early in the relationship, DU drow finds Astarion's quasi-predatorial behavior very attractive, but only AFTER he notices his vampirism. I think this outlook of the character contextualizes Astarion's condition in a way that he can immediately understand and simpathize with, even if DU drow doesn't know much about vampires themselves. Of course, this is specific to Astarion - he does not extend this grace to the rest of his kind.
I'll be thinking about this one!
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I don't know the video in question but from your description I think they would both be VERY confused, LOL.
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HMM, I think that might actually depend on a lot of things! Assuming the woman (or just the other partner) in the relationship isn't a drow, and exactly what KIND of devotion we're talking about (is the drow pro-active? Protective? Does he put his neck on the line for this relationship with pride? Does he seem strong and capable and like he doesn't rely on his partner?) he might see enough of himself in him that they could actually get along. This is similar to how DU drow immediately took a liking to Aylin even though she's this moon-goddess child and a supposed beacon of justice.
The quickest way to get on DU drow's good side is to be the idealized version of what he believes himself to be. Oh, and not get in his way.
If they're both drow it's kind of hopeless though, yeah LOL.
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Planning on it!!
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DU drow never slept with Haarlep! He only took his clothes off and then attacked him full in the nude.
...I'm not sure how to justify that in the lore, but it's exactly what I did and it's too funny to take it back, LOL
I think Astarion was just kind of baffled by what transpired until DU drow turned to while hopping around pulling his pants back on and asked if he enjoyed the show, then he remembered he just loves finding any excuse to take his clothes off.
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That's a lovely compliment, I definitely go for a very "organic" look so I genuinely appreciate it. Thank you!
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Thank you!!! A lot has actually been said about Gortash in my #enver gortash tag, if you'd like to get all the gritty details. Suffice to say that they had a very odd but significant friendship.
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DU drow is the kind of person who shoots awake as soon as the sun starts gracing the sky, but he tends to do whatever he has to do and then go back to bed right after, and stay there at least a bit past noon. He did this both in his bhaalist days and in Astarion's company, though the amount of time he spends asleep during the day definitely increases because of the vamp, especially over time!
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So, the urethra in a penis is located pretty much on the underside of the shaft, so the wound actually does not reach it! As far as functions go - peeing and ejaculating - it comes out of the tip's opening as normal. When he first caused the wound it probably did puncture the urethra, but that would have closed up over time. What you see is the injury many years after the fact, after all.
So the implications are pretty minor. Aesthetically, his foreskin hangs a bit weirdly when he's soft (like a tiny little penis curtain) and has more give than usual. Functionally, he has spots within the scarred up injury that are either numb or overly sensitive. Also, you can kind of see the dickhead notch through his underwear which is fun.
Otherwise, that is pretty much it! No worries about the nature of the question I've gotten worse, LOL. Thank you for your kind words as well!
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I think he used to write in his bhaalist days - very, very occasionally mind you - like if you scoured the temple you would find a dozen or so ripped up pieces of paper with little short poems on them, written in a very sharp and carefree hand. Anywhere from 3 to 10 lines per-poem, usually less than more. The sentences are descriptive of actions, never feelings or thoughts, but they don't ever seem literal.
Back in those days, he also went to the theater every other year.
Post-tadpole, he ends up dabbling in carpentry, leather-work, and enjoys listening for musical numbers taking place in taverns and inns to go to and watch. He eventually starts pulling Astarion into little slow dances when that happens. I think he might end up writing again someday, but not for many, many years.
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fluffytriceratops · 5 months ago
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I am DESPERATE for some 2k3 Donatello dating headcanons, literally give me anything PLEASE I AM OBSESSED
𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 - 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 [𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟑]
notes: i gotchu bestie. <3 lemme know if you guys want these for the other 2k3 turts as well! :D also sorry for taking literal ages to get this request done for you! thank you sm for requesting i hope you have a wonderful day/night! <3
warnings: brief nsfw mentions, mature language, 
tags: @thelaundrybitch @turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @rheawritesforfun @s-s-ironnie @post-apocalyptic-daydream @mysticboombox @drowninghell @lec743 @raphielover  @raphslovemuffin80 @squirrelfurs @bibiz82 @pheradream-15 @kikithedreamerwriter @m1dnyt3-w0lf @scholastic-dragon @moonsua1 [if i've forgotten anyone i'm so sorry please comment or dm me and let me know and i'll add you right away so i don't forget in the future!]
(if you would like to be tagged in my future tmnt x reader related work, feel free to let me know and i'll happily add you!)
i love you all sm! i'm sending all the virtual hugs and well wishes to you!! <33
---
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- as usual, 2003 donnie has an obsession with coffee. so if you get this mans some coffee expect an INSTANT marriage proposal. [honestly what ver of donnie doesn't have a coffee addiction?] 
- likes to do your hair. it's calming to him and helps him think. hes watched a lot of youtube videos and stuff for it, so he knows what he's doing too. he likes to try new styles n stuff on you. everyone knows when he's particularily stressed or can't seem to figure something out because you seem to have a new hairsyle everyday until he's fixed whatever it is that's bugging him, 
- will also handmake beads and stuff to put in your hair. <3 
- makes jewelry for you, esp out of silverware and other things. it always turns out so beautifully. 
- late night drives. donnie has insomnia and his brain works a lot during the night/evening. so expect to hang out a lot with him during this time. driving at night at new york is super pretty and peaceful too. esp when it's just the two of you. [so long as you don't mind the hectic city hehe-]
- cuddling with him while he works. includes sleeping on him/in his lab when he works really late into the night. he'll later carry you to bed. 
- painting on his shell/body for funzies. and if he does the same to you don't expect it to look too great because 2k3 donnie can't draw for shit. 
- donnie will gift you homemade cards with stick figures on the cover cuz again he cant draw but he knows you'll adore it no matter what just because he made it. plus you think its funny as hell and he adores your laugh. 
- hes actually really good at photography. and he has loads of pictures of you. you two go out and take pictures together sometimes. it's always a lot of fun. and they always turn out great. 
- late night talking sessions are a normal for you. 
- donatello tries his best to get you to sleep at a decent time, but sometimes you'll refuse if he isn't coming to bed with you just to get him to go to sleep earlier. he'll probably lay with you for a while, unable to actually sleep. maybe he'll read or listen to music to help pass the time. sometimes he will also sneak back out of bed once you've fallen asleep, and when you catch him you give him a good talking to. 
- he really needs to take better care of himself. he's always putting those he cares for above himself. so you're always there to make sure he's okay and that he's doing what he needs to do to be happy and healthy. 
- you guys hardly ever fight. donnie isn't one to argue with you. he's a very gentle and kind soul. he rarely raises his voice. (but when he does you find it hot as FUCK- lets be honest--) 
- fix it felix. always fixes things for you, even if you dont ask it of him. if he's at your place and notices something needs to be fixed he'll just do it for you. even if you insist he doesn't have to, he will anyway because he loves you. it brings him joy. and honestly, you should just let him because it probably stresses him out a little thinking about how your door isn't closing properly or your car sounds funny or your light keeps flickering- 
- you like to prank him on occassion, this includes the whole "i filled my tank with the special gas-" or "i let them put premium air in my tires and they gave me a really good deal". it freaks and stresses him out, at least in the moment hehe. its very funny but keep in mind he'll get you back. 
- him reading to you sfghfdgkjhdfg (id die please-) esp if you have trouble sleeping or something. 
- coffee dates are a must. even if you dont drink coffee. 
- donnie napping curled up on your chest/on top of you. you tracing the grooves of his shell. you've learned he finds this very comforting and it helps him fall asleep. 
- hes a definite switch- lmao.
- very gentle and understanding. he's like your personal diary or therapist and you're the same for him. 
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xanasaurusrex · 1 year ago
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Bonjour! May I ask, my dear, for Dionysus cabin? Amazing therapists, I think they’d be. Not sure though. Thank you so much hand, obviously, feel free to decline!
⇢ ˗ˏˋ dionysus cabin headcanons ࿐ྂ
bonjour my dear! thank you so much for requesting! mr. d is one of my favorite characters, so i'm really excited to do these.
i think the first and biggest thing i should mention about dionysus kids is: they know how to party.
i mean, their dad is literally the god of wine
of course they're gonna be the definition of party animals
wherever there's a party, they're always the life of it
they're rarely ever the ones to start the party because they tend to be rather scatterbrained and don't have the attention span to plan a party, but they love attending them
they love attending parties
dionysus kids are the definition of heavyweights
it takes a lot to get them drunk
like they can get buzzed and tipsy or whatever but it takes a lot for them to become actually drunk
they know how to have fun sober, though, trust me
dionysus kids are very festive souls
they love holidays, any holidays, and go above and beyond decorating for them and getting everyone and themselves in the real feel of the holiday
they love halloween because you can go all out for decorations
they love christmas for the same reason
a random thing to note; dionysus kids have a special affinity for grape flavored things
grape flavored candy, grape flavored drinks, you name it, and dionysus kids are all over it
they also love fruit
their dad is the god of fruit and orchards, so they're a big fan of it
of course, grapes are their favorite
dionysus kids really love raisins, too
they're just dried grapes, so they find the flavor pleasant enough
there are definitely dionysus kids who don't love raisins, but most dionysus kids will eat them if there's nothing else to snack on
this is one of those things that everybody else in camp judges them for, but they get to enjoy raisins with each other so it's okay
dionysus is also the god of vegetation, so dionysus kids also tend to like veggies more than the average kid
dionysus kids like veggies as toddlers, which is a big sign to them being a dionysus kid
like, they'll even devour broccoli
anyways
another thing about dionysus kids is that they generally have a pretty good relationship with their dad
he is the camp director, so they see him a lot more than the average half-blood sees their godly parent, but dionysus also generally builds relationships with his kids, so they get close, and they have good relationships
dionysus also doesn't like having lots of kids, he doesn't like being too outnumbered, so there's never too many dionysus kids in the cabin at once
this makes it easier for him to create lasting relationships and makes it easier to bond with them individually
i know mr. d was kinda an asshole to percy but i do headcanon him as a pretty good dad
because there's not usually an abundance of dionysus kids that also means that they get really close with each other
dionysus kids are each other's ride or dies
they consider each other their best friends
there's never usually more than 4 in the cabin at once so it's like a little friend group, except you all have the same dad!
so fun fact
dionysus is also the god of insanity and ritual madness
this does come across in dionysus kids, unfortunately
dionysus kids can go fucking insane sometimes
please, please please please, i beg of you
never cheat on a dionysus kid
think carrie underwood, but like times a thousand
all dionysus kids know before he cheats by heart because they've sung it at the top of their lungs in their cars after getting cheated on for the first time
and then they've gotten revenge
it's never pretty
i can't legally go into the details (aka i'm too tired to come up with the details) but please never do it
if not for the sake of the dionysus kid heart you're breaking but for your own
dionysus kids are also generally really gifted actors
dionysus is the god of theatre, and since he has a passion for it, he likes to pass that passion down to his kids
there's a sort of drama club within camp half-blood
(founded by dionysus kids and heavily supported by the camp director of course)
they like to put on shakespeare because it's very greek tragedy-esque, but usually without the actual greek tragedy
also whenever there's a sword fight, it's easy to perform and choreograph because they're already being trained in swordsmanship, so they already have that skill (or at least know how to handle a sword without decapitating themselves)
dionysus kids like to think shakespeare was a dionysus kid
mr. d will neither confirm nor deny
(but the glint in his eyes whenever you bring it up leans more towards the affirmative)
randomly going back to them being heavyweights thing, even if they do get drunk, it's rare for a dionysus kid to get a hangover
which is something they endlessly brag about to other campers
"oh, it's weird that i eat raisins? well, i don't get hangovers so suck it"
dionysus kids also have a hilarious sense of humor
like these kids are really funny
their sense of humor consists of a lot of sarcasm and teasing and stuff like that
they can be really annoying as older siblings and younger siblings
a lot of "why are you hitting yourself? why are you hitting yourself?" copying, and other stuff like that
basically, dionysus kids are super cool and crazy and chaotic, but they're hard not to love
it's also pretty nice being friends with a dionysus kid because they can get you out of trouble with their dad if what you did was pretty mild and they ask really nicely
they're also just so freaking fun at parties that it's so nice having them around
consider yourself lucky if you're a friend of a dionysus kid
so it's 2:30 am and i have to be up at 9 but i got inspired by this and i want to start pumping these out faster, so here you are! dionysus cabin headcanons. i hope you liked them, i had so much freaking fun writing these! thank you so much for reading, please reblog, i love you all so much! muah!!
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zomb-rabbit · 9 months ago
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Maniacal laughter I'm requesting Tim specifically but feel free to do others too but like
Tim with a s/o who's a volleyball player? Have you seen there l e g s??? 👀 (Could be sfw or NSFW MWUEHEH) (Same w gender could be afab or Gn)
-🐟
HIII FISHYY U GOT IT >B) IK THESE AREN'T THE NASTIEST LOLZ, LMK IF I SHOULD FIX ANYTHING !! I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO, AND I SAW U WANTED EVAN IN HERE TOO DWDW
[NSFT] ☠️🚬 Evan Myers / Tim Wright x volleyball player!reader nsft headcanons!
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· · ·
Tim :
RAAAHHHHH I LOVE THIS MAN IM SO HAPPY YOU ASKED FISHY
he may not be the most vocal about his adoration with how strong you are, but he staaarreesss at you
he doesn't care too much on if you catch him or not unless it bothers you
but otherwise he'll check you out mid conversation with a low hum of agreement to whatever you're saying, his face unchanging but he crosses his arms and leans back the slightest bit. you'd think it was just him changing standing positions if you weren't watching his eyes travel over your legs
PLEASE LET HIM MARK YOU UP
those uniforms are revealing and he is a possessive guy, wants everyone to know they don't have a chance
he'll fuck you with both your legs over his shoulders so he can feel you eagerly pulling him in, his face buried in the crook of your neck as he scatters hickies along your collarbone and neck
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Evan :
YOOOOOOOOO
nsfw stuff aside rq i think he would find the AGGRESSION y'all have in game to be cool
ngl i see Evan as a switch, and if he gets to watch you play (please let him watch he'll support you full send) y'all are BARELY making it home
seeing you so focused and how strong you are gets him GOING
as soon as you guys get inside he's grabbing at you and whining through kisses
type of guy to give head so he can feel your legs squeeze around him
when you guys are taking things slower, though, he loves to appreciate your body properly
he loves you, he loves how you look, and he wants you to know that
even if it is while he's been teasing you through a makeout session and he can't stop feeling up your thighs, muttering a quiet "so, so pretty hun" into your neck
all in all he's a very supportive boyfriend about it 😸
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br4inr0tx · 25 days ago
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Haven’t done a Yandere matchup in awhile!! I’m excited to whip out the headcanons again. That being said, here’s your match! Since I didn’t get an emoji to assign you, I’ll give you one. You are now 🥀 Anon!
TW - Yandere themes, toxic relationships.
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Your Yandere!Transformers matchup is… STARSCREAM !!
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• After thinking for a while, I think Starscream would be the best for you!
• Knockout is a close second. The reason i didn’t end up choosing him is because he probably wouldn’t indulge in any of your hobbies, and would definitely abuse you more than this guy would. Starscream would hurt you, yes, but compared to the other Decepticons, you’re lucky to get him.
• Honestly having any of the Decepticons is a shitshow, but hey, you asked for it!
• Your aesthetic is really enchanting to him for some reason. Seeing his feminine side and uh.. Starscreamisms… that sort of ethereal look is something interesting to look at. Since you’re so small, you are kind of like a real fairy to him.
• Starscream is a bit feminine as you know,, he’ll have you seen those heels? Who am I kidding all the men in tfp are cunty af except for maybe like.. two? Whatever the case may be, I hope you don’t mind that too much.
• Starscream is an emotional guy, and seeing as you have good control over your emotions you’d be a good free therapist. (And no, you don’t really have a choice. He forces you to listen to him vent.)
• As most of the Decepticon’s are, he’s an asshole. He probably won’t care to ask you if you’re alright back. He might sometimes if he feels like it, but it’s very rare. The times that you can be in your head often are the worst of times.
• It’s a good thing you’re laid back, though often times I think you’d need to chill Starscream the fuck out. He gets rambunctious really easily, and for the other Decepticons and your own sake, please calm him down. You seem to be the only one he can do that anymore.
• In return, he helps you overcome your laziness with non stop chores, activities, and adventures he’d bring you on.
• He can’t really do many of your hobbies since he’s so huge, but he’ll watch you if that’s alright. The most you can probably do is larping, if you’re into that. I think he’d really be into D&D.
• He’s a verified yapper. Even if he can’t do whatever you’re doing, you’ll get an endless string of why questions about whatever it is you do to entertain yourself.
• Secretly, he’s touch starved. He desperately needs a hug. It’s hard to push past that shell though, since he tries so hard to get on everyone’s good side. If you do manage to do that though, you can hear his system noticeably speed up, making him warmer and even more cuddly. He tries to be weary of his sharp points and edges, so be careful when snuggling with him.
• Starscream has a shell around himself, but if you can break that you’ll find an insecure and vulnerable Decepticon, who really just needs a shoulder to lean on.
• Now, for the moment you were probably waiting for, the Yandere parts!
• Using @ddarker-dreams Yandere MBTI, Starscream is a CDMS Yandere type.
• He’s Cruel. He’s not letting you off the hook that easily. Your species is incredibly weak, and he could kill you any time he wants. Not to mention, you’ve become a good resource to let off some steam after getting yelled at by Lord Megatron. I wouldn’t be surprised if you accidentally died while being in his care. As a Yandere, Starscream is a lot more quick tempered and violent. Tread carefully.
• He’s also Delusional, though not in the way you think. I think he’d know you don’t love him back, he’ll he treats you like shit! However, he thinks you both are still destined to be together, like soulmates. It doesn’t matter if he looses his temper, he loves you! That’s all that should matter.
• Starscream is a Manipulative piece of shit. You’d be surprised at how good he is at sweet talking you into things. As I mentioned before he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you guys end up together in the end. Sure he bullies you for being a weak human, but come on, he’s just teasing! If he wanted you dead he wouldn’t have searched for and feed you human food everyday.
• He’s also Strict. You fuck up? He’s hurting you. You need to learn your lesson and not get too cocky. He might be this way just because he doesn’t want another person besting him again after the shit he goes through with Lord Megatron and the Autobots.
• Starscream tries to keep you away from the Decepticoms as best as he can. He keeps you safely locked away in his quarters where no one really goes. If you do happen to escape, just hope you run into lower ranked Decepticons or no one at all, as the lower ranked Decepticons go by HIS command. If you’re found by Megatron, Knockout, Soundwave, Shockwave, or anyone like that, it’s a death sentence.
• He’s a very clingy Yandere. Just like in the normal match up you’d need to listen to him yap all the time about drama.
• Overall he’s more like a child throwing a tantrum since he can’t get what he wants from you. It’s best to keep him pleased for everyone’s sake, since if you push him to cause such a mess, Megatron will know, and all hell will break loose. Good luck.
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wonyrs · 1 year ago
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rainbird
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enha maknaes x fmr gnr fluff, est. relationship warnings cursing, food wc 711 + library #
‘ school life with the enha maknaes! headcanon style
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kim sunoo
somehow u two manage to make the uniforms a tad cuter than anyone else
never getting ur work done in any class fs (but u still pass? its the dawg in u) u two sit in the back of the room and have a whole station just for cute instagram posts
"aww babe u look so pretty today" "really? i should say that to u, love :3" cue the deadpanning from anyone in a mile radius of u
LITERAL GODS OF PHYSICAL TOUCH AND EVERYONE HATES IT. on the way to lunch? holding hands. dodgeball in pe? holding on to each other like ur lives depend on it. the weather a little chilly? "let me warm u up schnookums :>"
half of ur friendgroup think of u two as an ideal couple while the other half is done w ur shit (dw they love u)
when exams are coming up, u two hang out at each others houses to help each other with whatever u guys are struggling with
he has full faith in u passing the exams but still offers to calm u down by singing a song, giving u a massage, ordering ur favourite takeout, or anything that eases ur nerves :(
"don't be scared, y/n. ure the smartest girl i know, so theres absolutely zero chances of u failing this test, believe me!"
yang jungwon
ur boyfriend being a former class president and u being the current class president is either a blessing or karma for something u did in ur past life
"oh my gosh there's so many papers to send off, wonnie can you help me?" "nope, i stopped doing this type of work 3 years ago" before getting up and carrying all the stacks himself
when u mess up during a speech, be prepared for endless teasing while being reassured that u still deserve a spot in the council (thank u for fake tears and ur bf's soft heart)
if u have to stay after school to work on council duties, jungwon stays behind w u and uses the excuse that he needs help on his hw to be by ur side
he still takes the chance to lovingly bully ur ass
"u know, if u just refused the offer of being class prez we could be in my room rn watching the mlb movie" "babe be quiet before i actually lose it and start crying"
however, the longer he's with u, the more concerned he gets when he realizes that u leave school (alone) around 7 pm when the sky is getting dark and all sorts of creeps are walking around
he knows ure capable of protecting urself but his 'spiderman' bf instincts tell him to walk u home everyday no matter how late it is and tune out the fact that he'll get spanked by his mama for returning so late at night
"u forgot something, love. i need 10 kisses minimum for walking u this late, uberjungwon needs his payment!"
nishimura riki
fully believing in the 'hates almost everyone at school but has a soft spot for u' + the rest of enha trope for u two
yes he acts nonchalant to anyone's attempts at flirting w him but the moment u compliment his skills in soccer bro startings twirling his hair and encourages u to say more
"ki u did so good! ure like blue lock fr" "really? i did so good guarding right? and making that goal? and dribbling? right?" yappa yappa yapping /j
during free period, he drags u to the court and has u play a 1v1 with him
uses the excuse of 'fixing ur form' to get as close to u as possible and hes not ashamed of it
"yeah so u just position ur arm right here and-" "ok but can u loosen ur grip on my hips please, focus on the training babe " "shhhh"
OMFG i imagine him asking u out after winning a really important game with enha cheering him on at the back (big bros)
it'll be when u congratulate the team outside of the locker rooms when he just grabs u by the shoulders and professes a whole shakespeare typa love confession
his fangirls drop down sobbing the next day when u two walk in holding hands and he's carrying ur bag for u with the dopiest smile on his face
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@ wonyrs 2023
note me when i dissappear for a month after my first post, come back with the trashiest post ever and a new layout LESGOOO anyways i hope u guys enjoy this and REMEMBER my requests are open so feel free to ask anything :>
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child-of-the-nights · 2 years ago
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Could u please do some domestic Aro Volturi headcanons?🥰 thx
Absolutely! ^^
A/N: The mate is human in this one but let me know if you'd like a vampire mate version.
TW: None
Domestic Aro Volturi Headcanons
~Reader is gender neutral~
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Since vampires don't require food, cooking isn't something Aro does. Now, I do believe that The Volturi has some human staff outside the secretaries. In fact, I think that there are some cooks in the palazzo and they serve food for the secretaries (kind of in a 'free lunch' way).
But if Aro's mate insisted on wanting to cook, who was he to deny it? If he had the time, he would even linger around to see what they are making. Aro has seen thousands of minds and has useful information tucked away in his own. That includes some tips and tricks on cooking.
I fully believe he would help them out with something if they asked him to. He would ask for a favor in return of course, but that's a story for another day.
His mate struck gold with this ancient vampire when it comes to domestic stuff. Why? Because Aro is curious about MANY things.
So when it comes to his mate doing something to keep themselves busy while Aro is working, he would be delighted to hear them ramble about it. Crocheting? Oh yes, he had seen some people do that. Redecorating their room? Aro would love to help them with ideas if they cannot decide on something. Whatever it is, he is ready to share his opinion.
Whenever he is free, he likes to take his mate to his private library. Now, I'm not saying Aro is a hoarder, but he kind of is. As a result, his mate should expect to find a wide variety of books on various domestic themes. After all, who wouldn't want to learn about the ancient art of tea-making?
He also loves fashion and had tried out most trends. What I'm saying is that Aro would love to share his clothes with his mate if given the chance. Heck, he would even dress them up himself if they let him.
What Aro would most appreciate is if his mate could provide him with new information. He just wants to know everything, regardless of what it is about. I mean, with his mind reading ability, it's not that difficult for him to find it out, but he just loves hearing them say it.
When it comes to sleeping, he usually stays by their side until they are asleep. If he doesn't have too much work, that is. If he has time, he would read to them or cuddle with them. He finds dreams to be incredibly fascinating and would enjoy watching them like "movies".
Aro would never expect his mate to clean their room because they have staff for that as well, but if they insisted, he would gladly let them. His eyesight is far superior to that of a human, so they can expect some snarky remarks about how they missed a spot. But it's only a joke. Aro actually enjoys listening to his partner singing their favorite song while tidying the room up. He would never make them feel bad about themselves.
Gardening, on the other hand, is bittersweet for Aro. His sister used to garden a lot, and it reminds him of those times. Nevertheless, he offers advice to his partner when they ask for it. While they are working, Aro might even share some interesting tales about his sister. He gently reminds them to respect his sister's work, or more precisely, what's left of it. For everyone's sake.
Overall, I think he's a great mate to have when it comes to domestic things.
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mitsundere · 6 months ago
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gepard omegaverse headcanons
so this has been cooking in my head for quite a while now, but i've only just typed it up.
⚠️ cw : internalized homophobia , internalized discrimination against omegas (?) 
can be taken as reader-insert, gender-neutral, but there's one (1) mention of a hypothetical scenario where they have a vagina / ovaries. like 1-2 bullets only, about pregnancy. i'll put it in color red if anyone wants to avoid it. feel free to send me a message on how to word it properly, or if i should change anything
general headcanons
omega. smells like winter pine with a tad of cinnamon and a lingering floral scent. the more pleased he is, the more prominent the floral tones.
no one knows of his dynamic except for his family, and a few high-ranking senior officers and doctors of the guard (including the supreme guardian and pela, a family friend). he’s been raised as an alpha, and everyone in belobog sees him as one.
uses both scent-blocker patches and heat suppressants regularly. it’s a must for any member of the silvermane guards, especially those in the frontlines and on patrols. while his scent normally wouldn’t be a problem, it gets sickeningly sweet during pre-heats, so he has to use the patches. fortunately, he hasn’t experienced any problems with heat suppressants yet.
prefers to spend heats alone. while the original gepard wouldn’t even think of having a vacation for himself, in this verse he’s more likely to do it (whether he wants to or not). at least once a year, he tapers down his heat suppressants to maintain his body’s natural hormone cycle— letting him have his heat. 
he’s ashamed of it, wishes that he was born as something else. but it didn’t matter what he wanted. the people need him to be this indestructible shield for belobog. a powerful alpha, not… whatever he was right now. it’s even worse when he remembers how his sisters were both alphas. why was he the only one burdened with this? he tries not to think about it by drowning himself in work
with an alpha
it takes a while for him to warm up to them. after all, he’s been raised to act like one. he doesn’t want to give in to his instincts. it was a good thing he was pretty disciplined! (read as: used to not getting what he wanted / not being in control of his life)
you need to be a gentle alpha to win this captain’s heart. he still has to come to terms with and be more forgiving of himself. let him touch you freely. explore your scent glands and canines. it gives him a sense of control, making him more relaxed
steals your clothes. yes, even if you’re smaller than him. if you lose an article of clothing, it’s most likely with gepard as he stays at the restricted zone for months. be careful when sending him letters with items like a handkerchief, anything with your scent. he might just go into premature heat (and he’ll be sent home. whether this is a win or not is up for debate)
with a beta
the most comfortable match for gepard. there’s no pressure to conform with the standard alpha/omega partnership. he won’t accidentally go into heat with a you due to lack of a strong scent, and you won’t go crazy when you smell him. he can just be a normal person around you
your lack of strong scent won’t stop him from nuzzling into your scent glands, though. you do have a scent, it’s just a bit.. subtle. not overwhelming like an alpha’s or omega’s— and he’s obsessed with it. like drinking cold water on a hot and humid day, it has no taste but you can’t help but keep drinking it, right? be prepared for a lot of cuddling!! he’ll do anything to get a whiff of you
in my verse… unfortunately, if the beta has a vagina / ovaries / uterus etc. as their reproductive system, they cannot get an omega pregnant. they can get surgery for this, but i imagine it isn’t quite available in jarilo-vi yet
if this is the case, gepard would be quite sad as he wants a family. but maybe after a long talk, he’ll come to accept that there are other methods of having one.
with an omega
gepard appreciates that there’s someone who can understand him. raised in a conservative family (i imagine, have you read “landau’s choice?”), it would bother him first. internally. but he’ll come around later on to accept that he liked you.
afraid of exposing his dynamic at first. would you still accept him? he’s hidden his dynamic all his life. what if you leave him after? would you be disgusted at the idea of him, an omega, liking you, another omega? please be patient with him. he’ll tell you when he’s ready
being with you also makes his alpha upbringing come up. he thinks that you should be protected, and doesn’t mind if you use him as a shield for any other alphas that want you (one of the benefits of appearing as an alpha to the masses)
out of all the relationships/dynamics listed, i think this is the most likely one that doesn’t start off as love. it’s more of a shared comfort or friendship, and gradually becomes something more. 
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yan-randomfandom · 4 months ago
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Hello! Call me Yan (any prns), and I'm honestly here to satisfy my cravings as a writer 😔
♪ REQUEST STATUS: OPEN—Although please understand if I was unable to answer yours!
WHAT DO I WRITE?
x reader, my beloved i dont use y/n tho
Yandere. There are times I won't write yandere, but it's my blog's main trait.
Please read at your own risk. There will be warnings at the start of the chap!
Headcanons, one shots, and drabbles
Mostly SFW — Sexual themes are mild at most. I do not write smut.
My account is multifandom. I am in multiple fandoms, so expect my content to be different every once in a while!
☕support me on kofi!
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MASTERLIST... LIST
PART I: Masterlist
Keep reading if u wanna request!
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SO, YOU'RE AN ANON
You can name yourself as an anon! It's a nickname of sorts
Feel free to use a name even if it's taken! This is because I hop around fandoms, so anons may come and go, plus it's definitely an easier way to find your request (in tags) 😺
Think of your same-name-anons as like,, wow, u have the same name as me! siblings frfr??
FANDOMS?
I lurk in many fandoms. Not about to list them all, though 😭 Mostly I write about my current obsession! Almost always it's my blog theme :O
Please don't hesitate to ask from wherever fandom you are! There's no harm in trying! :) Except BNHA. Preferably, no anime. (With the exception of Dandadan)
Better yet, feel free to list down your fandoms in the comments! Anything that you would want to see yandere content in! Just so I can browse and maybe write for!!
LIMITS?
No problematic shipping requests.
Unfortunately, I don't do OCs (':
If the character is 18-, they can be aged up if you'd like, but strictly no NSFW, or in certain circumstances, romance. They're gonna be platonic.
I don't do intense gore. While I do have yandere content, I'm on the sorta wholesome side? Define 'wholesome' ... Implied scenarios are more likely😩
I write non-yandere stories too tho!
Minors, please stay safe. Don't go meddling around with adult spaces!
Sadly, I'm lacking in knowledge of other popular media, so if you happen to request one of those, I might not reply. Instead, I'll be keeping your ask until one day I check that media out.
Doesn't matter if the character is well known or not! Cuz I WILL attempt to learn about your request!
Except real life people. I can do actors with their characters, but never peeps' government names.
Part 2s are my weakness. I'm sorry. Doesn't mean you should try asking me tho!
WHY IS MY REQUEST TAKING SO LONG?
...college
If it's something I've never posted about yet, then it's either I'm not in the fandom, or I'm just clueless.
But other than that... sometimes I take days— weeks— months? to truly click with an idea.
I want to enjoy whatever I'm writing, so I take a break until an idea comes up.
And there's also the fact that I'm working on multiple things at once 😭😭 I tend to focus on easier ones first!!
Also I usually think of ideas at night c:
Worst case scenario: I truly have zero idea for your request, I'm so sorry 😔
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NOTES ABOUT ME!
Yandere is my guilty pleasure, I fear🤕
HOWEVER, I do not, and won't ever, condone the behavior I will portray in my writing. Please don't misunderstand, don't romanticize. They are purely fiction and for entertainment.
I regularly change my theme (profile, colors, banner, etc.) just so you know.
This account is for everyone,, we're all just trying to find content of our favorite character fr— so please don't hesitate to request :)
As I close my eyes to sleep, that's when I start imagining scenarios for my writing!
erm skibid toilet
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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 11 months ago
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I have a couple of question-headcanons-idea thingies about Yves appearance if u don’t mind. So would Yves wear more gold or silver jewelry? Like I can’t decide whether he would have cool undertones or warm undertones. Cool undertones because of his sometimes very icy nature, steely stare and almost vampiric aspects of his nature. But also could be warm because of the motherly warmth and comfort he gives off, he reminds me of a hearth.
Also we gotta talk about how tall this man probably is like legit. Like you always describe him as tall and slender but it didn’t hit me until today that this man is probably a beanstalk. So like he was a model at one point which lets me know that he’s at the very least 6-6’3 naturally, now imagine the heels along with it, I dunno I personally think with heels he may be taller than Monty which adds to the intimidation factor.
Omg and his HAIRRR!! I always wondered what his natural hair texture is like whenever he doesn’t do blowouts. Like does he have naturally straight, wavy or even curly hair, I personally think he would have straight or slightly wavy naturally but I dunno, what r ur thoughts (if you have any, it’s okay to keep these things vague if u want)
(One day I will draw him Omg as u can see I have completely hyper fixated on him if I was reader I would be in his walls fr 😔)
Ou shid i am the opposite of minding, PLEASE DO SEND MOARR it also feeds my brain rot
anyways,
Yves only wears jewelry if it completes his look or it can aid him in manipulating people somehow.
When it comes to his outfits, he would wear silver if his clothes that day have cool undertones, and gold if it's warm and deep-toned. Yves could be your thermometer, if he knew that you're most likely to overheat that day, he would stick to cool neutrals. If it's chilly, he would don warm colors. Likewise with his choices in jewelry. Numerous other factors will determine his fashion, but the strongest influence is the weather and how he could use it to his advantage, making him much more appealing to you.
Yves's fingers are generally free of rings unless you and he were married. Then the wedding band will only leave his finger during certain situations such as performing surgery on you or cooking your meals. When he was younger, one of his favorite rings to wear was the brass knuckle. It would be a determining factor whether he beats his opponent into a bloody pulp, or he becomes one. As he grew older, he swapped that out with a quieter, secret compartment ring. A dash of whatever poison he decided to fill up that day does wonders without the mess and effort of throwing repeated punches. Perhaps you're particularly rowdy that day and wouldn't listen to reason, a little sedative would do the trick.
He does wear earrings though, mostly Diamond studded earrings because large or hanging ones would be more likely to snag on his hair and something else. He learned the existence of earlobe reattachment surgery through the hard way when he forgot to remove his hoops before a fight. But it doesn't mean he would never rock bolder styles, just rarely. During periods when he would wear his hair up, you would most likely see him wear pendant earrings that elongate the appearance of his elegant neck. Yves's extensive collection of jewelry he collected over the decade means you never see him wear the same set twice.
His height was kept vague because it would give me a lot of freedom to play with how he holds you. But just remember that he could carry you with one arm under your rear, on his hip, like a child. And to get to your eye level, he has to kneel. The height of his heels definitely depends on his goal and your personality, perhaps you're intimidated by his height. So he wears kitten pumps around you. However, to everyone else? Stilettos with red bottoms all the way.
Yves can wear flats or shoes, but why should he have to? He has worn heels for so long that it's actually much more comfortable to move in those torture devices. If you handed him a 20-inch lobster heel, Yves would walk or even run around in it as if he were wearing a pair of comfortable sneakers. His footwear must have at least a minimum of 2 inches on its heels.
If you pay close attention when he's barefoot, he's walking on his toes; he would be completely silent when moving around. But he's barely seen without some sort of footwear, even his home slippers have some height to it. This is mostly to alert you of his presence, so you won't have a heart attack whenever he greets you with a kiss on the back of your head.
His hair is implied to be naturally straight; he needed to sleep in silk curlers to look effortlessly gorgeous the next day. For the longest time, he hated his hair for not maintaining shape whenever he tried heat curling it. He wore extensions and wigs, and Yves tried shaving it all off to 'reset' his hair- that was one of the rougher patches in life he went through, he has experienced it all. Yves spent a good fortune on hairspray back then, he probably contributed greatly to the puncturing of the ozone layer. He wanted volume, he wanted structure, but he either didn't have the knowledge or the means to achieve that. Eventually, though, he learned through trial and error, through endless magazines and even research projects on how to care for his hair to look like his ideal. It's much thicker, healthier, and shinier than that of his past.
You wouldn't need to be in his walls, it's dusty there and you would get electrocuted with all the wiring in it. Yves wants you to come out so you would be in his lap, while he types away on his laptop. It's much more comfortable there, he wouldn't mind staying in the same position for hours and hours on end.
Just as long as you're fed, cleaned, using the toilet enough, and sleeping well. Yves will let you hyper-fixate on him as much as he hyperfixates on you.
But he knew that you wouldn't be able to even come close to his level of obsession towards you. And that's fine with him.
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necrotic-nephilim · 6 months ago
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about me
join the dead dove batfamily discord server!
hi, i'm luciferos. i'm 22, disabled, Deaf, queer, and a general menace. my pronouns are they/them. this is an 18+ batcest blog. i'm pro-fandom and pro-kink. I avidly support SALS, YKINMKATO, and DLDR. most of what i write is of the darkfic, dead dove variety. i'm a fan of the comics, mainly the pre-Flashpoint era of the Batfam. some of my favorite comics are: Red Robin (2009), Batman/Huntress: Cry For Blood, Birds of Prey (2010), Young Justice (1998), Huntress (1989), Sword of Azrael (2022), Grayson (2014), Robin War, and the Question (1986). i can be a comics purist, but i just tend to leave alone fandom content i dislike and i think everyone should have fun with their blorbos, whether they've read the comics or not.
my DMs are open for anyone who wants to chat, make friends, or just yell. my (mostly unused) main blog is @devilbonesofmetal, so that's where follows and likes come from. i don't do DNIs, your internet experience is your job to curate, so feel free to block me if you're uncomfortable with what i post. some important things to note are
my ask box is open for any headcanons, prompts, or questions you want to send my way! you can ask for comic recs or my opinions on canon, or whatever suits your fancy. however *please* understand there are usually at least 50 asks in my inbox and i don't answer them in order. if i haven't answered your ask yet, i will, i promise. it may take a while though. please don't resend it, we'll just both end up confused.
if you ever want to create a translation/podfic/fanart/etc or write something inspired by one of my fics or posts, you have complete permission to do so! just tag me bc i'd love to see it too!
a lot of content on this blog will be dark in nature. i try to tag and warn, but do treat this blog with a blanket Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings tag for your own safety if dark content may upset you.
as a comics purist, i tend not to like a lot of fanon tropes. if you send a prompt that uses a fanon-ish type of trope, i may take liberties with it to write it the way i prefer. that's never shade to fanon, it's just what makes me comfortable!
some of my favorite ships are: Tim/Jason, Tim/Dick, Tim/Damian, Dick/Bruce, Jason/Bruce, Ra's/Tim, Slade/Tim, Slade/Dick, Tim/Bruce, Jean-Paul/Tim, Cass/Tim, and Robin Pile.
and some of my favorite characters are: Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Cass Cain, Helena Bertinelli, Luke Fox, Jean-Paul Valley, Bette Kane, Kara Zor-L, Zinda Blake, and Slade Wilson.
i write fanfiction, but i write anonymously on ao3 (for reasons explained here) so if you'd like to see all my stuff, here's a link to my tumblr masterlist and here's a link to my ao3 series, both of which contain all the fics i've written. aside from the typical ship and character tags, my vague tagging system on this blog is:
necrotic festerings - any ship/fandom metas i've written
necrotic answerings - answering any asks
necrotic writings - my fics
necrotic works in progress - rambling about fics i'm working on
divine and necrotic - tag for my partner @divine-dominion and i being gay on main
necrotic apcryopha - tag for my other partner @eebuckley and i also being gay on main
necrotic nuisance - my shitposting/low effort/non-serious tag
and, just for fun, some of the more interesting metas i've written:
why DC x DP crossovers are so popular
why the Batfamily fandom doesn't interact with canon & related thoughts
JayTim in the New-52 Deep Dive
"why aren't ships involving the women in the Batfam considered Batcest?"
advice for getting into pre-Flashpoint comics
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polyklok · 2 years ago
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Hello there!! I really enjoyed your "what makes them soft/what gets them hard" headcanons for Dethklok. I was wondering if you could write a similar thing for Charles? If you're comfortable taking that request, that is. If not, feel free to ignore. I love your blog!
OHHHH BOYYYYY
So Charles isn’t in my “men to simp for” Radar, as much as I love him as a character and I don’t think I would ever write anything like that on my own-
BUT YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS IM GONNA TRY also you seem like such a sweetheart so I have to
Charles Offdensen
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What makes him soft 💘
Charles is, obviously, a very busy man. All day, everyday, work work work. His hands are usually full, signing away at documents, shaking hands to confirm business deals, fidgeting nervously while he discusses finances. So it means a lot when you gently stop what he’s doing and take the time to kiss his hands. Graze your lips over his knuckles and fingertips, he’ll be entranced by the sentiment. Even if you let go to let him continue whatever he was doing, he’ll be thinking about it for at least an hour.
He really likes being sung to. The only music he listens to nowadays is death metal (usually Dethklok’s) which obviously includes a lot of screaming, growling, and heavy instrumentals. He says it ‘puts him in the brutal mood’ for whatever Dethklok is going pursue next. But, despite this, his favorite type of music is listening to your heartbeat while you quietly sing or hum. Doesn’t matter what song, doesn’t matter how good you are. Please let him place his head on your chest and just sing for him.
Basically the opposite of Toki’s Charles is a serious, uptight, no-fun business man. Everyone calls him Mr. Offdensen, Dethklok gets the privilege of using his first name and occasionally robot, and only you can use any sort of pet name. Use it to your advantage, it’s so funny how dry he is to your dumb names, and despite seeming indifferent, he really does love the silliness of it.
“Hey there, my adowable, wittle pookie-bear muffin boy!”
“Hello Y/N.”
The thought of a room full of government officials and businessmen having to watch this display while holding back the cringe is so funny to me holy shit.
Whats gets him hard ❤️‍🔥
I’m gonna repeat again; Charles is busy. As much as he cares about you, he hardly has time for your relationship and is simply trying is best. Sex is barely ever on his mind. Until it is all that’s in your mind and you let him know. Seeing you needy and wanting him, hanging onto him, tugging at his tie, trying to pull him away from his work is the quickest way to get him hot and bothered. He just hasn’t considered being so desired before and it makes him crazy to watch you act like that for him.
Continuing that, when the two of you are in public and you suddenly get all touchy with him. Grazing his thigh, kissing his neck, running your hands in his hair. He knows that he should be above this and tell you to stop, but he really does love how shameless it is and how good it feels. He’s usually the most economically and socially powerful person in any room he’s in, so no one’s gonna tell him to quit on on the PDA anyway. If you’re lucky, he’ll pay you back for it at home. If you’re really lucky, he’ll drag you off into a nearby bathroom or closet. If you’re unlucky, well…
Is he a mean lover? No. Charles is very attentive and mindful of your needs. He’s going to constantly affirm with you that he’s doing the right thing. How selfless of him. But once that is all done and taken care of and he understands your limits…oh my god he wants to see you cry so badly. He just loves seeing you whine and squirm, your pretty face leaking tears for him. Of course he’ll be nice enough to kiss your tears away and praise you for how good you’re being, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop.
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Hey! Your hcs are so amazing💕 I was wondering if you could write a Wally Darling x autistic reader… I’m autistic and this would be very meaningful to me
Btw sorry for the english, I am brazillian and not used to write in any language that isn’t portuguese lol
That’s perfectly okay, friend!! I think you did just fine (with the wording of your message, I mean) !! :] /g and thank you!!
And sure thing!! I’m autistic, too :D so I’m happy to write for this!! Haha!!
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Pluffy Fluffy
Wally Darling x GN!Autistic!Reader
Headcanons Format, Relation can be interpreted by the Reader!
Please note, everyone is different on the Autism Spectrum! I loosely based this off of my own experience, but you are free to request again and specify where you lie, or how yours represents itself!! I would be happy to personalize it, more :]
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Wally Darling is a lovely companion to have when you’re on the autism spectrum! He has it, himself. :]
Though his manifests in its own way, with its own mannerisms, he still can very easily understand your own standpoint— whether it’s akin to his or not!
Specifically, he’s quite good when it comes to overstimulation.
Wally’s an observant one— for everyone in his life. He knows the indicators that something is getting “too much” for just about anyone, and that very much includes you.
Whether your start getting jittery, angry, spacey, or however it is you begin to behave when undergoing too much, he learns the signs of it.
If you’re one to devolve into mumbling, or go nonverbal, he’s perfectly okay to sit with you until you get your words together. If there are tools that help you communicate, he is sure to remind you of them so you can use them— if you’d like to. If you don’t want to? He’ll just stay by you, if you’d like to have company.
He takes great care in asking and finding out what helps you during overstimulation, as well.
If you’re one to need a complete environment change, he is expertly skilled in peacefully intervening whatever interaction and getting you out of it stress-free!
And if being placed into a quiet environment helps; he’s got many quiet, serene spots he’d be happy to share!
If going to your home would help most, though, he’ll gladly walk you— and if you’d like company, he’d stay with you.
Really, anywhere you’d like to go, he’d be happy to be by your side!
If you need someone to squeeze, or just let it out to, he’s also happy to help with that! Although he may not embrace you back (not because he doesn’t want to!.. He just doesn’t know that he should), he is happy to oblige!
If touching people isn’t your thing, though, he’s also got a stress ball somewhere around here..
Or, if you’re maybe just someone that needs to be entirely alone to calm down? That’s okay, too, he entirely understands— for he’s the same, that way.
Regardless of what you need, he will try to help in any way he can!
Which very much includes guiding you through grounding methods, too, if need be.. He likes to think his voice can be soothing!
Now, on the contrary, when it comes to under-stimulation? He’s quite the helper there, too!
He tries to get you to do something, really— which has included offers of painting (which also includes finger painting), letting you ramble to him (or having him ramble to you, if you’d want!.. He’s just a bit hard to get going.. but he’s willing to try, at the very least), or maybe just going on a walk. If company helps you in any way, shape, or form; he’s there.
Whatever it is that helps you, he is there to provide if it calls for him to!
When it comes to textures, Wally is a very texture-orientated person. He’s perpetually in a state of being somewhat under-stimulated, but textures help him with that!
With that in mind, if you’re similar? He will gladly show you what he finds textures on! It isn’t uncommon to find him running his hands along something, extremely content.
He especially notes which textures give you euphoria, or that you just like, and will try to show you them!
With textures that make you uncomfortable, though? He’ll keep it in mind! And, to be frank, he doesn’t mind being a sort of “texture tester”.
“Ah.. this shirt wouldn’t feel good, to you.. it’s scratchy.”
Speaking of shirts, he’d be delighted to help you find texture-safe clothing, if it’s something you’d need or want help with!
Along with tags. He’s got a seam cutter just for tags, and he’d be happy to help you remove your own without damaging the clothing, if you’d like!
If you two are physically close (he can perfectly understand not being someone who likes physical contact, so no worries!), he takes great care to make sure any of the clothing he wears around you isn’t a “bad texture”.
Speaking of physical touch; he’s perfectly fine if you’re one to not like it. He’s got his own ways of showing affection beyond it! Affection, in his eyes, is so much more than just physical intimacy.
Ah, and noises.. Wally, himself, has a bit of noise sensitivity. Specifically, clearing of throats can get a bit.. much for him, if done too much too fast.
If you’re similar? He understands entirely— and he has many, many quiet spots he’d love to share (as was mentioned earlier)!
If you’re one to get overstimulated by sounds quite quickly, he will try— when he can— to give you a heads up if anything might have noises that might cause you to fall into a state like that.
“Howdy’s shop.. has an old bell, on the door.. so.. try to open it carefully.. it’s a bit screechy.. and there’s an A.C in.. his store— so there’s.. a constant kind of.. ‘whrrr’..”
And.. ah, his.. very intense eye contact. He fully understands if if makes someone else uncomfortable, and he would make it clear you don’t have to return it if it discomforts you.
If just having him stare so intensely is a discomfort in general, he’d try to tone it down.. though it’s a bit difficult. He wouldn’t mind reminders, though.
Wooh boy! Whether or not you’re similar, he in particular struggles on social cues and tones. For that, his own voice tends to be rather flat— but he’d never mind clarifying how he meant something he said, if asked!
But with the social cues? Oh boy.
You have to communicate directly with him— or else he just.. Won’t Get It. Not for a lack of trying, but it either just flies over his head, or he doesn’t understand.
So he appreciates direct-ness, and honesty. He doesn’t take either as offending, whatsoever!
For this, though, he’s very blunt and honest in return. He means absolutely no harm! But he isn’t the best at softening his words. To be fair, though, it’s not like he’d have to very often— even for someone quite sensitive. He seems to, almost naturally, structure his sentences softer— he just can’t seem to do it on command.
Ahh, special interest and fixations!
He loves to listen to people talk, to see them happy and ramble.
With that, he is always open to you talking to him about your interests as a whole, or whatever you’ve got on your mind!
He isn’t one to engage very much beyond nodding and smiling, but do not be mistaken— he is listening to every word.
Specifically, he tries to get you things that relate to your interest.
If you like stars? He might paint you a painting of them! If you like bugs, he’ll certainly try to borrow a few books from Frank to read them over so he can hopefully understand what you’re talking about more..
Whatever it is, he tries to understand and learn— he wants you to feel heard, and that is how he tries to express that you are!
When it comes to stimming, he actually quite enjoys sort of mirroring however it is you stim!
He tends to stim himself by humming, or wiggling his head side to side.
But when it comes to you, or his friends, doing as such? He tends to join! He isn’t really sure why he does this, but he enjoys it— and means it well!
If you rock, he’ll rock with you. If you flap your hands, he’ll do the same!!
If you don’t like this, though, he won’t do it to you! But he’s delighted to see you stim— when it’s positive, of course.
In the case you’re stimming due to negative feelings? He’ll just try to help you in whatever way helps you best!!
Overall, he just cares a whole awful lot— and understands where you come from, entirely. No matter where you land, or what helps you, he will be there to understand. He’s there for you! Forever and always
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Ahh!! I hope this was enjoyable!! I tried very hard to make it apply to a majority HAHA I’m hoping my own experiences didn’t influence too much!!
Also please ignore the double yellow bars down here <:] I literally cannot get rid of them on mobile— so I have to wait until I’m on laptop to do as such!- (EDIT : Fixed it! BWAHA)
Edit : I FORGOT TO COVER STIMMING, AH.. I AM SILLY… I have added it near the bottom! :]
Have a lovely day!!!
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vroerry · 1 year ago
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Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.
Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~
I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.
Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.
Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.
Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.
Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.
Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;
Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑
I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!
When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~
Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.
But now, to the fanifc:
A comforting touch
Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW
words: 1380
Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.
Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.
"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.
"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...
When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.
"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.
"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.
"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."
No response.
You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.
"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."
Still nothing.
You sighed.
"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.
His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"
"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"
"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.
"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."
"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.
"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.
"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."
"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."
"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."
"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.
"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.
He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.
"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.
"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"
"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."
"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"
You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.
"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."
"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.
"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.
Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.
Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...
"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.
"Do you feel better?"
"Yes" he whispered.
"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.
You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.
"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.
"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.
"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.
"Ride me" he pleaded.
"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.
"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.
"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch. 
"Don't just promise me. Do it"
The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.
"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.
"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."
The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.
"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."
"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.
"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.
"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."
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