#i do something that brings me joy and comfort in a world where everything hurts

[devotedlystrangewizard]

everyone whos trying to help me is trying to prevent something thats already had me in its grip for 3 years and none of them realise it because while I recognize its autistic burnout my mom is still convinced im too young to have burnout and tells me its a videogame addiction (the only thing dragging me from the abyss is my special interest which so happens to be a videogame)

[fy-wonwoo]

[IG] 241028 wonwoo left a comment on seungkwan’s post:

I no longer want to see my loved ones getting hurt. After observing everything that has happened, I’ve tried to suppress my feelings, thinking it would eventually pass. But now, I realize I can’t just watch these situations unfold silently for my fans, my members, and my fellow artists who are working hard.

Being an entertainer is a choice I made, and while I understand that I must endure some pain due to the love I receive, I don’t believe this profession should involve self-destruction. I want to do my best in my work and give back to the fans who support me, sharing the positive energy I can. The pressures and burdens I feel are immense, affecting both my body and mind.

Despite this, we must keep pushing forward. Some look at things rationally, others try to smile through the pain, and some are just enduring as best as they can. I accepted this responsibility when I chose this path, yet today feels particularly harsh and unfair.

Just as some days are bright and others are cloudy, today feels overcast for me. I wonder if I have ever truly tried to stay positive or smile through tough times. Today is not easy, and it saddens me to think of those who are hurting right now. It frustrates me that I can’t comfort everyone, and I question whether my clumsy words can resonate or provide comfort to anyone.

I want to emphasize that my fellow members and those in the K-pop industry I know genuinely love this work. They hurt because they care, and even when they feel empty, they continue to give love to themselves, their members, their families, and their fans.

I want to make it clear: we are not people who can be easily judged for our journey. We have endured pain and challenges to show our best selves on stage, and we work tirelessly for that. Please don’t underestimate what it means to be an idol.

We don’t deserve to have our story treated lightly. This goes for all artists; we are not your items to be used at will. Just one week of music shows can leave us utterly exhausted. Yet, even amidst advertisements, events, and performances, I see colleagues smiling warmly and greeting me. When they do, I smile back, as that is the least I can do. Their simple greetings and heartfelt messages in albums give me strength on tough days.

I appreciate the culture of challenges, where friends, even those who don’t know each other, can share dance videos together. Building small memories together is beautiful, and if it brings joy to the fans, even better. I hope we can all make an effort to be a little warmer. If we support and treat each other kindly, perhaps things can improve. Watching someone fall apart and give up is something I detest. My sincere wish is to stop giving wounds that we cannot take responsibility for. I don’t want to see my members, fellow artists, or our devoted fans hurt any longer. I want to express my love and apologies to those fans who support us so warmly.

ww: As Seungkwan said, I hope this can be a world only full of warmth.

trans

[smoshyourheadin]

some comfort soencer agnew :(

It’s okay, you can cry now.

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

a/n: OH WE’RE SO BACK SMOSHYOURHEADIN NATION!! i’ve missed y’all sooo much!!! kinda short but enjoy none the less 🫶 requests are open <3

as you lay on his bed, the sound of raindrops tap against the windows gently as you feel a tear roll down your cheek. his room is softly lit by the glow of the tv which is playing some shitty reality show, with plush blankets and pillows on his bed.

spencer and you met when your friend damien had invited you to be a guest speaker at his ‘funeral’ - where spencer made your sides hurt with how funny he was. from the moment you met him, there was an undeniable chemistry between you. over time, you and spencer started hanging out more, texting and calling, meeting up for coffee before he had to go to work, and you’d also started to convince damien to invite on the channel more often, as an excuse to see him - ian and anthony eventually hiring you to work on art and design.

despite the growing closeness, neither of you ever explicitly acknowledged the romantic tension that occasionally surfaced. your friendship had a mix of intimacy and comfort that neither of you wanted to jeopardize by labeling it. you were each other's confidants, sharing dreams, fears, and everything inbetween.

“hey there, y’okay?” spencer’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, as he walks into his room with two cans of sprite, seeing you blink away tears.

“um, yeah. no. i don’t know” you sit up and wipe your face, sniffling gently, and you cross your legs as he sits to face you on the end of his bed, your knees touching his.

“d’you wanna talk about anything?” he looks into your eyes, gaze soft but firm somehow.

“um,” you look away as you feel more tears forming, a lump creeping into your throat “i just... feel like i'm constantly running, trying to keep up with everything. the videos, the comments, the expectations. it's like... it's never enough, you know?"

spencer nods, his hand moving to rest atop yours. "i get it. this world can be overwhelming. but you don't have to face it alone. we're a team, remember?"

you squeeze his hand, finding a bit of strength in his touch. "i know, it's just... sometimes i feel like i'm letting everyone down. like i'm not good enough."

his eyes soften even more, filled with a tenderness that makes your heart ache in a good way.

"you're more than enough. you bring so much joy and creativity to everything you do. and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. it doesn't mean you're failing."

you take a shaky breath, feeling the weight of his words. "i guess i just need to hear that sometimes. that it's okay to not be perfect."

spencer shifts closer, his other hand cupping your cheek, thumb gently brushing away a stray tear. "no one expects you to be perfect. especially not me. i just want you to be you. because that's more than enough."

his words break something loose inside you, and the tears start to flow freely. spencer pulls you into a gentle hug, holding you as you let out all the pent-up emotions. his embrace is warm and reassuring, a safe haven from the storm raging inside you. you inhale deeply, and notice he smells like old books and coffee,

“it’s okay, you can cry now” he says into you hair as you sob, his fingers gently brushing through you hair

after a while, you pull back slightly, looking up at him with gratitude. "thank you, spencer. for being here, for understanding."

he smiles, a small, comforting smile. "always. you mean a lot to me, y’know that?"

you nod, a small smile of your own forming. "you mean a lot to me too, spence."

he takes a deep breath, and for a moment, you see something flicker in his eyes.

you move yourself next to him, and lay your head on his shoulder, and he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, as you close your eyes, feeling content in the moment. the sound of the rain, the flickering light of the tv, and the steady beat of his heart lull you into a sense of calm.

and in that quiet moment, with the rain still pattering against the windows, you know that no matter what the future holds, you'll face it together.

[variety-fangirl]

Neighbours / Moon Boys x fem!reader

Summary: you're the new neighbour, looking for a change of scenery and people, a fresh start. Your neighbour, Steven, is someone you find yourself trusting easily and quickly. Something about you both draws the other in, enticing each other to explore what this could mean. Yet, you have a secret about why you moved, will you feel comfortable enough to open up to him?

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS angst but mostly fluffy, mentions of previous toxic and abusive relationship (beginning of physical abuse, manipulation, and emotional abuse), swearing, let me know if I missed anything! Will add more later as the story progresses.

Author's note: Hello! I am back with something quick and lovely that I have been working on for a while. It feels good to get slowly back in to writing 😊 College really had taken so much out of me and my joy for writing when all I was doing for 10 months straight was writing long essays, it was also nice to take these months to relax and come to terms with everything. So much has been happening 😮‍💨 But I hope I will be back more consistently now, fingers crossed! I've been mostly writing to get new and fun ideas, hoping it would entice and inspire me to write. I hope you guys enjoy anyways and feel free to ignore my rant 😅 Feedback, comments, likes and reblogs would be greatly appreciated and lets me know how I'm doing. Thank you for reading and enjoy my loves 💜

Word count: 1.9k

You huff as you place another box on the floor of your new apartment, watching the movers bring in two more. You felt thankful that you had decided to pay extra for the movers to help you bring all your belongings up, far too much to have done on your own.

There were endless stairs, and it would have taken you hours to bring it all up here yourself, especially with your new sofa, bed, and dining room set. All were bought cheaply from a friend second-hand who was more than happy to help you. She was one of the only ones you'd told where you were going, and had left your address and new number with to contact you. Everything new and different, nothing to remind you of the old life that you'd left behind.

You started unpacking the basics whilst they brought the rest up, there were still quite a few boxes because you had to buy most stuff brand new. Luckily you had hidden as much money as possible before leaving, so you had more than enough to buy what you needed. You would work on buying extras and niceties when you had spare money throughout, you'd moved far enough that you were hoping not to have to move again unless you wanted to in the future.

That was at least the hope. Not because you were forced to leave in the middle of the night terrified for your life.

You try to take a deep breath as you subconsciously rub at the scar on your neck, you are safe now. You wanted to distract yourself for as long as possible, so you sorted the boxes out where they needed to go, to their newly allocated rooms.

It would be weird to live on your own again after so long, it had been five years since you'd run away from home and four since you'd started dating and moved in with your now ex, Noah. It was a scary thought once more, to be alone. More alone now than you'd been before, at least you had your best friend, Natalie, at home. Now, she lives four hours away from your new place in London.

You made her promise to conceal your number and hide your address, you knew he'd go to her first to ask where you'd gone. She would lie, she'd always been good at it but he wasn't stupid. He knew you would have told her, you just prayed he wouldn't hurt her. You could never forgive yourself if she got hurt because of you.

She was one of the only people who meant anything to you in this world. She at least had her boyfriend, Tyler, who was like a brother to you. He would protect her, he always hated Noah for how he treated you. Tyler had hated Noah from the moment he met him, made you known of it also but you just chalked it up to a bad first impression and yet it never improved no matter how much time they spent together. It wasn't until three years in that Noah showed his true colours and by that point, it was too late. You were in deep and he was a master manipulator and narcissist, he'd played you well. He almost came between you and Nat but she wouldn't allow it, tried to make you see him for who he really was. It didn't take much convincing when the major problems started in the last year of your relationship together.

The first time he'd hit you was a year before you left him, he apologised and said he was drunk. The typical excuse and blame on anything but himself. Promised he "won't do it again", two months go by and it happens again but this time more frequently. He drank more, went out frequently, and came back later. By the six-month mark, you caught him cheating for the first time (that you knew of).

That was the moment you vowed to leave him, it was as if all the years of manipulation and abuse faded away and you came to your senses. You had to save enough though to leave, so you let Nat and Tyler know of your plans and they helped you to set everything up. It took you six months of planning and saving, and you were finally ready.

The night finally came, you waited and told him before he had a drink, that you were leaving him. He started out crying, begging you not to leave him, you didn't budge. He tried to initiate sex, but you said no and he didn't like that. That night was the worst abuse you had endured the whole of your relationship combined. He threatened you, managed to get you down on the living room floor with a knife in hand, and held it to your neck to the point of blood drawn. You sobbed, pleaded with him, said just about anything to get him to calm down. You would still leave but you would say anything to get him off you. He began slowly slicing your neck open whilst screaming that he loved you, only luckily managing to get an inch before you kicked him in the balls hard enough that he collapsed just to the side of you.

You ran to the bathroom and locked the door, terrified out of your mind. You grabbed the first aid kit to clean and patch up the gash on your neck. Having done this a few times when he threw stuff at you or pushed you into surfaces sharp enough to cut skin. You had a few scars all over your body, it wasn't pretty but you wore them proudly to signify that you were a survivor. He tried to bash down the door before leaving, yelling about going to the bar and he would 'see to you later'. You knew that would be your only open window to leave, he would be at least two hours there. You immediately called your best friend, she and Tyler came over to help you in any way they could.

You packed two suitcases of clothes and shoes, a duffel bag of prized possessions and important bits, a backpack of money and goods to sell, and quickly changed from your bloody clothes into something clean but comfortable. You grabbed the first aid kit too for your neck. Everything was packed into your car in less than an hour, saving you enough time to wipe anything important and any trace of you behind, away. You immediately booked a two-day stay at a cheap hotel an hour away on Natalie's computer for the night so you could figure out your next move. He would come looking for you the second that he realised your stuff was gone and that terrified you, he was not a man who gave up on things he wanted.

It had taken you two months to find this apartment after a lot of rejections and failed apartment searches. It had immediately caught your eye when you saw the ad for it on one of the apartment renting sites. It was perfect for your situation. Multiple floors of tenants would make it far harder to search through unless you knew which floor to look at so you could blend among your new neighbours. A locked front door that had a security number code to be allowed entry and without it you couldn't enter. Security cameras on each floor show all angles of the apartments, which each tenant has access to for their safety and peace of mind through an app you can download on your phone.

You had downloaded and gained access before you'd started moving the boxes in. You were given access a week beforehand, which helped your anxiety and tight chest to ease just an inch. You knew it would take some time for you to feel safe and be able to walk down the street without looking over your shoulder every five minutes or keep your taser on hand in your pocket with your fingers gripping it just in case. You were constantly worried and paranoid that he was watching you from around the corner like he would pop out at any moment and drag you "home".

The police had never given a fuck about you or your situation, Noah's family has money and connections, so it was always swept under the rug. Just another number, another person to suffer in silence, until one day your dead body would have turned up. They would just pretend they didn't know. A murder gone wrong, you imagine they would chalk it up to.

You take a few calming breaths whilst unpacking, listening to the footsteps and quiet chatter from the moving company men. It eased the anxiety when someone was around, it helped you to feel safer and calmer. As if, if someone was with you or near you, you could be protected from the 'big bad wolf'. You were hoping to become friendly with some or all of the neighbours on your floor, not just for safety in case something happens but also because you'd never been allowed to make new friends with your old neighbours. Noah had made sure of that.

So, you were hoping that this move would be the perfect opportunity for you to do so. You loved to bake cakes and savoury treats but hadn't been able to with Noah because he always ruined things you loved, but now he was gone you could finally pick it back up again. You were planning to bake something sweet as a gesture to introduce yourself to your neighbours, hoping it would make a good first impression.

You walked back into the open apartment that was now your own little safe haven and smiled with contentment, this was the start of a happy new beginning for you. No more fearing what mood Noah would be in that day when he woke up, no more being abused daily, no more sobbing silently into your pillow or taking an emotionally broken moment of peace to cry out your feelings in the shower after he'd hit you. Just you, your new clean apartment, and the ability to do as you please without fear.

It didn't take the movers long to bring the remainder of your boxes up between the three of them. They took off just moments ago, and now you were finally alone. It felt strange, not hearing shouting or items smashing. Just pure blissful silence in your home. Your own place to do with as you please. It felt wonderful to have freedom.

You felt tears cloud your vision as you stared out the window you'd opened when you first stepped inside the apartment, feeling the warm Summer air blow in. The overwhelming emotions of freedom and serenity hit you like a punch to the gut, a sob immediately pulled from you as you sank to the ground. You felt the year-long toll of abuse and terror that had been weighing down your shoulders finally crumble and release you while the sun flowed into the room. You fought the battle and came out victoriously on top for the first time in your life and it felt amazing.

Once the sobs quieted down and the tears had stopped, you took a moment for yourself. You opened a bottle of your favourite wine and picked up an empty glass to pour yourself a drink. You took the bottle with you as you sat back down on the floor in front of the open window, feeling the warm breeze kiss your skin gently and watched the sun in peace. It was still early in the day, you would have plenty of time to unpack later on. But for now, you just want to relax without worry for the first time in a long time.

[alex-rambles]

HII can I request a yandere bill cipher x reader oneshot when its weirdmageddon and the reader is kidnapped and just more of what they're doing in their pyramid. Sorry if it's a little confusing I tried to word it as best as I could 😅

YES. I GOT DRAGGED BACK INTO MY BILL SIMP PHASE.

He's pissed, you can tell.

The question is, what about? Did you do something? No, that's impossible, you've been stuck in one room for... how long, now? A few days, at least.

He finally appears in 'your' room, muttering to himself as he floats above 'your' bed.

"Sunspot, help me out. How does one go about breaking someone like Sixer?"

You do your best to ignore him.

"Are you deaf? I asked you a question!"

Bill rolls his eye and pokes you repeatedly. "Answer. Me."

"Shut up," you finally hiss at him. "I'm not an all-knowing demon. Breaking people is your department, not mine!"

"You're lucky I like you."

"Am I? I'd rather be a piece of stone on your throne than where I am!"

"Oh, no, no, no. If I didn't like you, I'd tear you apart, atom by atom. I digress, how does one break that man? He won't respond to torture! And I need that equation, sunspot! Then we can rule the world!"

You scoff. "What if I don't want to rule the world? Did you ever think of that?"

He probably didn't. He's too caught up in his little fantasy world to consider what the object of his obsession even wants.

His answer surprises you. "Of course I did! But you underestimate the way power gets to the head! Sureeee, you aren't interested now, but give it a bit, once you get a taste of real power-"

"For an all-knowing entity, you're a fool."

His eye narrows. He messes with his bowtie, clearly doing his best to restrain himself. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely! You're a selfish prick! You claim to love me, but you obviously don't even know how to treat the one you love! You're stuck in your stupid power fantasy! Get over yourself!"

Bill actually appears... hurt. That's new. You've thrown many, many insults at him, but he always laughed it off.

"Can you cut it out? I'm trying, you know that? I've done everything to make you comfortable! Keep your fragile human body functioning! Make you happy!"

"No! You're not! You're isolating me! I'm the opposite of happy! You're trying to force me into what I don't want!"

You scowl at him. "I hate you! I hope that Ford kills you! I hope that you have to watch everything you worked for get ripped away!"

For the first time, his voice turns quiet.

"Well, sunspot... Didn't know ya felt that way. I'm trying to make you happy. I promise, you'll learn to like it."

"I will kill myself before that," you spit.

With that, he crumbles.

"Nononono, you can't do that! I will not allow that! If you die, what will I have?"

"What, is world domination not enough? You're not just selfish, you're a greedy fuck."

You haven't really let your emotions run loose yet. But in this moment, something inside you just snapped. Whether it was the isolation, or just Bill being Bill, you don't know.

All you know is that Bill is upset, and it brings you some twisted form of joy.

"All humans die, Bill! I'd die eventually even if I don't off myself purposely!"

Well clearly, that's something he didn't want to even consider.

"NO! You won't die...! I won't let that happen...!"

You sneer and place your finger on his middle area. "Oh, I very much will. And I'll be the happiest person alive. Free from you and your madness."

Bill regains his composure. "You won't. I will absolutely never let you die. I like you too much to let you die. You're the only fleshbag I can genuinely say I like, and I refuse to lose that."

"Selfish bastard."

"Stop calling me names, you hear me? I hate that!"

"Oh my god! I hate being stuck with you, but I evidently can't do jack shit about it...! Sometimes, we just have to roll with what happens!"

Bill merely clasps his hands behind his back. "Clearly we both need space," he says calmly, as if his previous freakout didn't happen. "I'll give you a day, then we'll talk."

You collapse onto 'your' bed as he warps out of the room.

Absolutely unbearable.

P2

[nonbinarydeity]

It's not your job to manifest

Have you been trying to get your desires forever, but have been unable to succeed? Have you been saturating your mind, getting into the state of having, etc with no results? I'm here to bring some comfort, and also some tough truths for you to swallow 💕

Please note that these are my beliefs, but they can be beneficial for anyone struggling to keep up with manifesting, especially if it's hurting your mental health.

You don't have to do anything

It really is as simple as "desire and it shall be" when it comes to manifestation. In fact, manifestation as a term is pretty misleading, as it implies that you're doing something, when in reality the only thing that you "do" to manifest is want something. You can write it down/ affirm/ etc, but that's for you, it's not going to get you what you want any faster.

Let me explain how reality works for a second. You exist on a 3D plane of reality, where you experience things like love, fear, doubt, joy, etc.

Side note: Fear, doubts, anxiety, etc belong to this plane of reality; they are not natural feelings (remember how carefree you were as a child? That's your natural state), they come from traumatic experiences and the society we live in. It's okay and natural to feel these things from the circumstances we live in, so don't worry about them 💕

Your subconscious mind is on a higher plane of reality called the 4D. It is the true reality (think of it as a computer, and the 3D as the computer screen), and it is where the 3D is created.

Do you see how the 3D exists within the 4D? The 4D creates the 3D, the 3D has no power on its own.

From this, there is one huge conclusion we can come to: we (3D beings) do not influence the 4D (aside from telling it our desires); therefore, nothing we do on this physical plane (which includes in our brains/minds) will speed up the process of getting our desires.

You read correctly. All of this manifestation stuff? It's pointless. But this should be freeing, and let me tell you why:

The 4D and you

Within the 4D plane exists your subconscious mind. This is a part of you that you cannot directly access, but it is what creates your reality. Your subconscious mind loves you, and it wants to give you everything in the world! It's like your best friend, all you have to do is ask it for things, and it will give them to you!! It goes like this:

You have a desire in the 3D > the 4D takes your desire and implements it instantly > the 4D gives the command to the 3D to give you your desire > the 3D changes and you get what you want!

This process is why you sometimes get exactly what you wanted WITHOUT affirming or getting into a state of having it. You don't need those things, you just need the desire.

Why do bad things happen? Why does it take a while to get my desire??

This is a big question, and let me first start off with explaining something. We exist in an infinite multiverse of possible realities, and each reality has something called a "reality concept." A reality concept is the set of rules that a certain reality follows!

Some examples of a reality concept for this reality would be: gravity exists, money exists, humans are the main species on planet earth, spoken language is used to communicate, etc. This reality concept also has rules like: evil can exist, bad things can happen, manifestation can take time, etc.

The reason that bad things happen is not because of your subconscious mind, it's just one of the rules of this particular reality concept! You can easily change this by desiring for it to change, but it may take a little time since that's one of this reality's rules.

Okay, so if I can't do anything to manifest besides desire, what can I do?

Excellent question! We as human beings on this 3D plane are meant to exist and enjoy our lives. We are not meant to create this reality: our minds could not handle such a big task! Some things that you could focus on are: improving your mental health, doing things you enjoy, scripting new desires, learning to trust your subconscious, trying new things, etc.

I know how this sounds. "So what you're saying is, nothing is going to change and I can't change that?" NO! The moment you desire something, your subconscious mind implements it into the 4D. If you want something, you are meant to have it, and it is 100% guaranteed to happen (as long as you don't change your mind)!! The only thing I'm saying is: be patient. It is coming to you, you are going to get it, you might just have to wait a little while. I know that we as humans are extremely bad about being patient, and we get restless very easily, but please just try to remember that what you want is guaranteed to come to you, just give it time 💕

Outro

You as a human being are not meant to do anything to manifest your desires, it is already taken care of by your subconscious mind in the 4D. Anything you do to manifest will merely be for your mind's benefit, it won't get you what you want faster.

What you desire is guaranteed to you, you are meant to have what you want, just be patient and it will come to you. The 3D is just being a little slow, don't take back your desire just because it's taking some time 💕

[theoceanoasis]

Djfjeokef oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!!

I just read your recent story of soundrod on the lost light mechpreg & i was hoping we could have a part two. Soundwave knocking roddy out may not have been the best option but i definitely would love to see where it goes!

Maybe Roddy talks some sense into Soundwave & they go back on the lost light & drift & rodimus have a chat?

Poor Drift is definitely missing his bonded amica and even Ratchet misses the little bright speedster.

Thank you for posting & i hope you’re okay!

FW

When Rodimus didn't return to the Lost Light he immediately knew something was wrong. Other people dismissed his worries thinking Rodimus was late, but he knew better. Ratchet also seemed worried and grabbed a first aid kit in case he was hurt.

The two of them decided to go out looking for his Amica. Worried it had something to do with his strange behavior.

He'd been pulling away from him for a while. Whenever he asked to spar he always refused and would find ways to avoid him. Sometimes he'd even be seen doing paperwork which was a shock.

Ratchet also noticed his strange behavior and whenever he tried to scan him, Rodimus would always freak out and use his outlier ability to prevent him.

They tried bringing it up to him. Both of them worried but it only made him avoid them more. Always looking terrified as though he thought they'd hurt him which was crazy.

Rodimus never went to Swerves any more and was constantly hiding in his room. Whenever he asked if something was wrong he'd always dismiss him. Sometimes even snapping at him if he didn't leave him alone. Which hurt although he tried not to blame his Amica.

Sometimes it seemed like his Amica was scared of him and would flinch if he got too close.

He also noticed that he'd been calling someone. Although he tried to hide it. He could see that he'd been messaging someone quite frequently.

He didn't know who they were and at the time he didn't think they were a threat. Because Rodimus always seemed relieved and happy after they spoke. Instead of tense and on edge like he'd been lately around everyone.

Now he cursed himself for not looking into it further. He searched the area with Ratchet and they looked inside a hidden alleyway. Where he gasped finding Rodimus comm.

He immediately called the others wanting a search party to help him look. The crew searched everywhere finally realizing the severity of the situation.

He looked around the alleyway trying to find something else but came up empty handed. Ratchet tried to soothe him by saying that he didn't see any energon which was a good sign.

They spent what felt like days trying to find him. The entire time he was in agony unable to sleep or eat as he worried about his best friend. He should have reached out more. He should have been there. He could have protected him and stopped him from being taken.

He ignored the worried looks Ratchet would give him. Always trying to reassure him that it wasn't his fault even though he knew that was a lie.

They searched everywhere for Rodimus but couldn't find him. Which means he was taken off world and could be anywhere.

Ratchet who was equally worried tried to reassure them both that Rodimus could handle himself. After everything they've gone through Rodimus would find a way back to them.

Both of them had trouble sleeping the entire time. Wondering where Rodimus was and if he was safe.

Rodimus woke up in a comfortable nest feeling warm and cozy. Soundwave came over and gave him energon that didn't make him sick much to his joy.

"How did I get here?"

He looked around realizing he was on an unfamiliar ship. Soundwave shifted and he suddenly remembered what happened because he gasped.

"You kidnapped me!?"

"I'm sorry Rodimus but it was the only thing I could think of."

"I asked for your help dealing with this."

He gestured to his belly.

"I didn't want you to kidnap me!"

Rodimus gave him an angry look his emotions all over the place as he found himself starting to cry much to his embarrassment. Soundwave held him. Letting out a sound that made his body relax now that the sire was there and taking care of him and their sparkling.

"You didn't hear how scared you were. I got there as fast as I could because I was worried something would happen to you. Every time we spoke you seemed terrified of others finding out. You refused to tell anyone not even your Amica because you were so scared."

He looked down at his lap because Soundwave was right. He was scared.

"I'm glad you're here."

"So am I. I'm sorry Rodimus I know this isn't what you wanted but I refuse to put either of you at risk."

He bit his lip feeling more tears fall and Soundwave wiped them away.

"I'm here for you. Whatever you need as long as you're not in danger."

He nodded.

"I just need some time to think and get my thoughts in order."

"Okay, I'll be in the pilots seat if you need me."

He nodded watching Soundwave leave he laid back in bed.

He didn't want to abandon his quest or his crew. He wanted to tell Soundwave to turn them around and take him back but he couldn't.

He put a protective hand on his belly remembering the horror he saw as a sparkling. The way tank carriers were tortured and murdered in the streets with people cheering as they suffered.

Prejudice against tank carriers ran deep and he knew some of his crew would have a problem with him. He didn't want to believe they'd hurt his sparkling. Nut he knew if some of them got the chance they'd take it.

He shivered wrapping his arms around his tank. He wished things could be different. But until the sparkling was there he couldn't go back. It wasn't safe for him or his sparkling and Soundwave would never agree to it.

He would never put him or their sparkling in danger. Even if it meant doing things like kidnapping him.

Although he couldn't go back to the Lost Light... At least for now. He decided to send Drift a message knowing his best friend would worry about him.

He sent him a short message telling him that he was safe and that he had something to take care of and that he'd be back soon and to take care of the Lost Light for him.

He felt slightly guilty that he couldn't give Drift s proper goodbye. But hopefully after the sparkling was born Drift would understand his decision to leave. Even if he didn't know the full reason.

As much as he loved Drift and thought of him and his Conjunx as family. He couldn't forget that when he was Deadlock he'd take bounties put on tank carriers. Either killing them if they were lucky or dragging them back to their abusers. Who took their sparklings and forced them to have more.

Sometimes he'd even torture them if that's what the job required. Ignoring their pleas to spare their sparkling. If his client didn't want the sparkling he'd kill them in front of their carrier, because he didn't see them as Cybertronian. Merely an animal that needed to be put down.

Drift had drunkenly confessed it to him. Looking ashamed and telling him that at the time he thought tank carriers deserved it, for being disgusting and unnatural and that he was doing the world a favor, and if he benefited from it that was just a bonus.

The news had been devastating and had put a strain on their friendship. Drift hadn't noticed at the time busy with Ratchet and their new relationship.

Although Ratchet wasn't as cruel to tank carriers. He was aware that during his time in medical school. He'd report tank carriers to the functionalist government. The medic had expressed regret at the time. He thought it was the right thing to do. All the medical textbooks said they were dirty and could spread diseases and that it was for the best if they were taken care of.

He also performed forced abortion and sterilization on many unwilling carriers and the very idea made him sick. He put a protective hand on his belly. After he found out he was sparked every time he saw Ratchet all he wanted to do was flee. Terrified he'd kill his sparkling if he let him examine him.

After all he'd been taught that sparklings that come from the tank are freaks and need to be taken care of, for their own good. Because they'll be deformed and will be unable to live a full life.

Drift texted him back but he found himself unable to read it as he had a panic attack. Forgotten trauma resurfacing as he held his tanks crying in fear.

Soundwave noticing his distress rushed to his aide and held him as he cried.

"It's going to be okay I'll take care of you. I won't let anything happen to either of you."

Soundwave promised repeatedly. Until his body couldn't take the stress anymore and he fell asleep in Soundwave's arms. The only place he'd ever truly felt safe.

[lis4ux]

Hey I’m not sure if I’ve ever interacted with you directly on tumblr before but I just wanted to let you know that you’ve been and you still are A MASSIVE part in the Jiara community🤍

Regarding what you said about writing for Jiara and fearing that people wouldn’t be interested anymore I can say with confidence that if there’s someone how can bring that excitement back, it’s you 🫶🏻

I’ve been reading Jiara fics for years (and yours are some of my favorite that I go back to constantly for comfort) and in the past year I’ve also started writing myself for our beloved ship. Sadly I have to admit that right in this moment I am one of those people that has lost the motivation regarding Jiara, both as a writer and as a reader, but one thing that I hope is that this feeling isn’t permanent but only temporary while we navigate through this pain.

I think I can speak for a lot of us in this situation (or maybe not and I’m wrong lol) when I say that the fact we’re not motivated at the moment is something we wish to get past because we love Jiara, we love their story and we love our community and we hope to keep it alive!

In the past 3 days I’ve tried going to Ao3 to get distracted and find comfort in the fans stories, but everytime I tried to I just couldn’t and I have to say that probably a lot of it is because almost every new upload is about JJ’s death and Kiara’s grieving so it’s a costant pain in the chest, but I just wanted to tell you that what I’ve been thinking in these days is “I’m waiting for Enemies with benefits next chapter”, I am waiting for that chapter because I’m 100% positive that it could be what can make me get past the canon hurt and back at living Jiara like we always have. I’ve been thinking of the update of your fics as a way to hold on to them, as a motivation to find back my way to them ‘cause despite everything I don’t want to let go of them and I don’t think any of us do 😭

You have always had an incredible and unique talent in our fandom, creating alternative universes for them in which they could live so many different lives and I think right now it’s what the Jiara fandom needs, to find an escape in those stories and infinite other possibilities for them and you’ve always been amazing with that. I’m the first one who admits the lack of motivation at the moment both as a writer and a reader, but I think the fandom could never lose interest in your stories and actually probably needs them, you have always offered us an escape🤍

Of course please don’t take this as if I’m trying to tell you “go write” AT ALL ‘cause I’m the first one at the moment who needs time, I just want to tell you to keep going with what you feel it’s right and you want to do and not worry about if we’d still be interested, ‘cause we are and your story are forever gonna be and will be part of what makes this ship special to many!!

I think you could be a great part for us to find back that love and excitement towards their stories, seeing them live in the alternative worlds you’ve built for them is something that has always been special but that right now is even more precious in our fandom…we lost them in OBX, but at least they live their love in that house in Malibu🥹

Don’t worry about us losing interest in your stories, I think we need them more than ever to find a refuge from this ugly canon and could help the fandom to reconnect with them🤍🤍🤍

Sending you lots of love 🫶🏻

This is so encouraging 🥹

I do understand what you’re talking about with going to ao3 and it being nothing but pain. That may be the writers way of grieving, and I completely understand it. I can’t do sad art work of them right now or read anything not happy. I just fell in love with the joy of jiara, I can’t go to pain. Only good vibes and ending from me🥰

I also understand taking a break from it. It really is a tragedy what they did and i doubt I’ll forgive anyone apart of it.

I do know there is one writer who is rewriting the ending to where he lives. Once that’s posted I will be diving into it to rewrite my head cannon. I’ll post the link here when she’s done. I think it’ll be cathartic and a healing fic for us all.

It means a lot that you have found comfort in my fics the way I found comfort in so many others. The connection of this fandom is what I love the most about writing. I met my best friend through this ship and writing and I can never turn my back on it for that alone. I love writing and writing jiara specifically.

Thank you so much for talking with me and encouraging me to keep writing. I will continue 🖤

[matenrou-fan]

Ahem...ITS ME AGAIN!!

I really do love your writing so far, LIKE THEY'RE SO GOOD!!

So ummm...can i request for Ramuda, samatoki and gentaro ( again lol, bc they're my fav AHEM.) How will they react when their wife tells them she's pregnant?? Ik its so cringy but QIGSISGAIAHZJS

You can ignore it if you want, and thanks again to your hard work and make me so happy with your writings!!

Ramuda, Samatoki and Gentaro react to their wife's pregnancy

ahhh no!! this is not cringy it's so cute..!! so here, hope you will enjoy it <3 also thank you very much for your sweet words ahh..! you such an angel..♡

femreader, fluff, just wholesome stuff, mention of meds, spoilers for their past/ background??

-I think he's kinda clueless about these things, so when you start to have toxicosis he just thinks you have a fever or something.

-"Ahh! My dollface, what's wrong? Do you feel sick?" - Ramuda keeps jumping around you, really worried.

-Only when you tell your husband about pregnancy, he suddenly gets so over excited.

-It's probably sound strange yet for Ramuda, who didn't have any childhood and normal maturation, it's really interesting.

-"Why didn't you tell me before?! Don't tell me you were afraid or something..!" - he giggles, hugging you tightly. - "Uwa, we have so many things to do now, come on..!"

-That's where Ramuda's whole designer potential comes out. Cause your baby needs to have the cutest room that your husband would style himself, along with all outfits and little toys. Good sense in fashion should be instilled from the first days of life..!

-Of course he would also design some new clothes for you too, more comfortable and oversized so it would be easy to move around for you in the third trimester of pregnancy.

-Also, you would have the best treatment. Ramuda has enough money to buy you all kinds of vitamins and meds, enough time to take you to the hospital almost everyday for different cheek ups, tests, etc.

-Maybe in the beginning he quite didn't understand how hard it can be to you, but now he's learning more and more and trying to support you as much as he can, bringing some sweets after work for your pregnancy cravings, letting you stay the whole day in bed when you feel sick.. Your husband even tries to be more quiet and calm around you now, so you would feel more peace..! He wants you to feel less stressed about this, after all.

-Cause you're the one who helps him feel more needed, to feel more human.. And thoughts about having a big family, his own family with you.. Ramuda didn't know it would bring so much joy to his heart.

-"How you feel today, my dolly?" - he sat next to you in bed with a soft smile. It's so different from his casual wild cheerful smile that you can't help but smile back, pulling him closer to a hug. - "Hehe, if you're good, maybe we should start to think about our baby name? I want it to be super sweet and cute..!"

-You may be kinda nervous cause he's a Yakuza, after all.. What if he doesn't want to have kids at all, due to his dangerous work?

-But you better tell him as fast as you can, cause actually it would hurt Samatoki if you try to hide it.

-"You're pregnant..?" - for a moment your husband thought it was a joke, but your sincere face told him everything. You expect any kind of reaction but suddenly Samatoki drops to his knees, hugging and kissing your stomach. - "I.. Darling, s/o.. I'm so glad.. I love you."

-To be honest, he always wanted to have kids with you, to build a happy family.. He had a rough, terrible childhood so he wants his kids to see only the bright side of this world.

-If Samatoki was soft with you before this now he's even more gentle and overprotective, stoically enduring any tantrums that you might have through your pregnancy. He understands that it's just nervousness and stress and he will never raise his voice back.

-He is a harsh, cold and emotionless leader.. well, outside. When inside he's willing to be your personal servant and do everything you want.

-Pregnancy cravings? He was already in the store, buying what you asked for. Pain in back or legs? His hands are already on your sore muscles, massaging it gently.

-You will not even lift a finger in the house now, as Samatoki would do all household chores for you, it doesn't matter if you feel sick or not.

-But it doesn't mean he would let you slack off. Your husband will make sure that you do some physical exercise that is safe for pregnant women and walk a little with you in the park everyday.

-"You feel tired today? Maybe you want something? Huh, just lay down with me and cuddle..?" - Samatoki's face quickly changed from worried to soft but smuggy expression as he embraced you gently. - "Oh, princess, of course.. Come here and tell me how your day was.."

-He's always so insightful.. So he would understand everything immediately, but wait for you to start this talk first.

-It's a serious conversation, after all, and he wants you to feel comfortable to share this important moment of you and his lifes.

-"Oh, my dear, you're pregnant? Of course I know..My servants already tell me you would be pregnant with the next prince of forestland.." - your husband nodded with a serious face. - "What? I didn't tell you I'm actually a great fairy king? Huhu, well, it's all a lie.."

-But actually Gentaro is really happy to be a father soon. He just can't help but tease you a little, so you would feel more relaxed about this.

-Surprisingly soft and caring, trying to give you the best treatment now. As he's always visiting his brother in hospital, Gentaro is acquainted with many people here and was able to find the best meds, doctors, clinics, you name it.

-Your husband may look like nothing will ever bother him, but actually he's quite nervous about your well-being, just not showing it. After all, he doesn't want you to get into real state, as you already have enough on your shoulders.

-So instead Gentaro would relieve his stress on paper, writing fairy tales for your kid and then read it to you before sleep, asking for your opinion.

-"Mm? Want me to write a story about our baby too?" - he smirks when you two are laying together in bed. - "Okay, but you need to give me some inspiration, darling.. Few kisses filled with your sincere love would be enough to fill me with the power of clairvoyance, and I will write the whole life story of our kid.."

[herunswithscissors]

Friends of ours lost their 22yo son to suicide recently. He was struggling, but kept the depth of it hidden. There are no words of comfort to give, only grieving alongside those who have lost one that they love.

A good friend pointed out that in the midst of this weeping, while it does not diminish the grief, perhaps something good might come out in that those who are similarly struggling with thoughts of suicide might get some perspective that their lives matter beyond the tiny world mental illness traps you in. Your life matters and is worth living.

Our brains are a precariously balanced mix of meat, electricity, and chemicals. Sometimes because of our experiences and/or biology our brains begin to lie to us. It withholds joy and pleasure. "It’s like trying to laugh at a joke that isn’t funny. Trying to smile for a photo you don’t want to be in. It’s like waking up in the morning and hating that you actually woke up. It feels like someone is just draining the energy out of you all the time, every moment you are awake." Doing anything requires immense willpower. Just plain old staying alive becomes a conscious choice made over and over again. You are just so tired and everything is just too much to deal with. The constant state of suffering leads one to try various ways to feel something positive, feel anything, or just escape the emptiness. It's why depressed people try so hard to bring joy to others and help others- they want to prevent others from suffering too and it allows them to feel some happiness vicariously.

The inevitable diminishing returns on the attempts to feel better, feel anything, or just escape eventually lead to the conclusion that there is only one way out of this hell. And depression shrinks our awareness of our own meaningfulness and inner world. The void is all we can perceive. The knowledge that we are loved, cared for, or important is lost. We can sincerely believe that our loss will not so drastically affect our loved ones and escape through death is a viable option.

These are all false of course. Falsehoods our sick brain tells us with honesty, because suicide is quite reasonable given what we are perceiving.

If you are feeling like you don't want to be here, wishing you would not wake up, desiring an accident, imagining about killing yourself, drugging yourself into oblivion, or seriously thinking about if or how you might kill yourself, you need to talk to someone. I got lucky. Someone who loves me more than I love myself saw me spiraling into self-destruction and made me get help and continues to support me in spite of myself. I spent years where my full-time job was not research or teaching, but just keeping myself alive. It's still my job now and then. But the difference now is that after many years of therapy and prescriptions I know that feeling is temporary and false.

I'm sorry it hurts so much right now. When you have some distance from these feelings (I hope that you will give yourself the chance to), I hope you can see that your life is worthwhile and important because you are.

But the only way out is through and that requires talking. I hope you have people nearby who love you you can talk to. If you do, talk to them. If you don't, this will be harder. Either way, you should also get into counseling. A good counselor will help you find ways to survive, build better mental pathways, & develop tools for processing emotions.

Brutal honesty- American mental health treatment system is shit and difficult to navigate. We have far too few professionals in many areas and online is often the only option. But you are a fighter. Look at you all alive and shit when depression has been trying to kill you 24-7. Live a little bit longer. You can do it. And if you are going to live a little bit longer, counseling can help you live it a little bit better.

[snugglebeans3000]

I finally decided to post my beyblade OC!!! They’ve been sitting in my sketchbook for so so long, I should’ve posted it sooner but eH

Some HCs about them so you can get to know them better:

Elliot:

Can knit, however they’re only fond of making stuffed animals. They have a lot of projects going on that they never completely finish because they have a bad habit of picking up projects on the fly. However, when they’re done, you can tell that it’s made with love and detail.

Really has an insane love for horror movies. He grew up with them as a kid and whether she needs something to bring comfort into his life he turns on a movie marathon of horror for hours. Doesn’t talk about it a lot so people won’t be freaked out, but there will be obvious signs since they’ve got a lot of merchandise with horror characters on them. They go really hardcore with their tastes. Oh you think Halloween is scary????? Have you heard of a movie called HEREDITARY or MIDSOMMAR? Elliot DIES for disturbing shit— and the more fucked up it is and gorier the BETTER. Analog horror is their favorite genre, though they admit some of its materials are a little bit overused.

Has super curly hair but combs it out to put it back in a braid. Their real hair is something more like Merida from Brave, but they hate being compared to it all the time so they decide to leave it behind. Needless to say, Merida is his least favorite Disney princess because of this fact.

Owns 3 snakes, all ball pythons. Their names are Ripley, Elton and Lucy. They are his BABIES AND IF ANYONE HURTS THEM—

Has an amazing singing voice. Like no joke. If Elliot was brave (or drunk) enough to do karaoke he’d blow eVERyOnE away. I like to imagine their voice being really dynamic, but for the most part, her voice sounds like the singer from Florence and the machine or Belle.

Can draw but hasn’t done so in years. They specialize in drawing dragons and animals, but they never really got the hang of drawing humans (those fucking hANDS—). They don’t mention it because no one ever asks but I feel like Ryuga or some other blader saw her drawing like a beast and was like ‘can you draw me something?’ To which they might say yes, if they like said person.

Very much a nerd in the pop culture sense. She’s intelligent, but she doesn’t like to flaunt it, but when you’re talking about D&D he is THERE and READY to make characters. This has happened on more than one occasion— mainly to Kyoya because he’s the only one who actually really likes the idea and wants to try it out— however that doesn’t keep them from trying to connect to people through references and quotes.

Their favorite animal is a manatee. No further explanation.

He is on the autism/neurodivergent spectrum so they’ve always struggled with making friends. They don’t have many as a result but of the few he does have they’re the world to them. Their loyalty knows no bounds and they would sacrifice themselves to save their friends.

Enjoys being around animals more than people— LOVES sea life but is terrified of swimming in open water where they can’t see. If you take them to an aquarium or zoo they will explode with joy.

This bean can swim like the devil. His backstroke is INSANE. Everybody jokes about how she’s half fish because she spends so much time in the water. Used to compete in swimming leagues when she was younger, but sadly had to drop it due to personal reasons.

Very comfortable in cold weather. It could be so cold in their room that you could see their breath, and they would just be like ‘ah, perfect for sleeping’. However this is good for them because that means that they get to wear sweaters all the time, thus being the resident human heater

Made their beyblade themselves, took about a year plus to get everything to work correctly.

Has considerable Norse and Scandinavian roots, has their one Bunad (this is like a traditional celebration dress or garments) and has rune stones that they know how to read, though they do not do it often as fortune telling with runes are only used in times of dire need. Almost everybody will assume he’s Irish or Scottish because of the red hair, and this is probably one of their worst pet peeves. They hate it when people assume his nationality.

Works for the WBBA as a medical assistant for when the Bladers get injured during battles. They worked as an MA in Norway before they got recommended by one of the main Bladers for helping them out when they were badly injured. Then they immigrated over and they’ve worked there ever since.

I alot of people would get along with Elliot, but I feel like Elliot would really hang with Ryuga, Tsubasa, Or Kyoya the most since they see them so often during their work. They would probably come in for patching up at least twice a week.

Elliot is a mom friend, but more in the way of a grandma. They love you, but most of the time they’re too tired to stop you from making dumb decisions. Will warn you once and then help you afterwards with bandaging your wounds.

Are definitely the type of character that is very kind, but if you fuck with their friends they will turn into a Dark Souls Boss to whoop the ever loving SHIT out of some bitch.

That’s all I can think for now, but this is essentially what his personality is.

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

7, 8, and 11 from the thingy that you rb earlier

:))

OG List

(I apologize in advance for the long answers, I just love answering stuff like that and I have a lot to say :] )

7. Your favourite tropes to read/write/draw

(I love them all the same, but it is slightly different for each, so I'm making a destinction)

Read: Honestly, kidnapping. I love characters getting kidnapped, and their loved ones worrying/rescuing them. This also includes more-or-less any type of 'going missing'-plot (incl. Char A just running away themselves). Just the feeling of "I have no idea where or how they are, and if they're even still alive", and then the relief when they meet again. Hmmm

Write: 'The world has been cruel and hard to you - therefore I won't be. I want to show you the beauty it has to offer, too <3' This is the best way I can describe it. Characters who've just had a rough time/life being unconditionally cared for and supported. Getting everything their heart has desired for so long. Short: Hurt/Comfort

Draw: While I have yet to draw this myself, actually (because humanoids are hard), any drawing of one character being hurt or scared, while another stands over them caringly and protectively - obviously willing to kick some ass if needed - has me go wild.

8. You hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

I understand that some people find the market oversaturated by now - that's valid - but still: Redemption

I love redemption so much. I want the story to gently cup a character's face and say "You are broken, but not beyond repair. You can get better, and be happy, and be surrounded by people you love and that love you back." They don't even necessarily need trauma or have gone down a super dark path, I also enjoy: "Character is a massive jerk, and we follow them down the road of being less of a jerk". These are honestly the main reasons both the 'Good Uncle Sly' and 'Apple Cousins' AUs exist.

There are few exceptions I can think of, of villains I'm personally obsessed with, and have not made a version of, where they are redeemed. I look at Reginald Bushroot, and Camille Chameleon, and the Dark Curse - and while for some more than others - there will usually be something at the back of my mind asking: "What if you didn't have to? What if you found love? What if you got to live a quiet, gentle life? What if one day you realized you live in a reality you would never have imagined come true? In a good way? What if everyone could be okay?"

Just

Redemption

11. If you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

Fic: Family Discount

I was honestly surprised how many people liked that fic. Between 11 fics in total, this one definitely has some of my favourite comments (and it also has a surprsing amount of comments, I didn't expect that tbh). I was a little worried about posting a fanfic chapter-by-chapter, because the last time I tried that I basically (though not officially yet) stopped after one, because I can't write slice of life, it seems.

But so many people got emotionally invested in my writing, and I honestly didn't expect that? But even though I'm forced to take a semi-long break (for exam reasons), it is extremely motivating, and makes me feel that (as vague as it sounds), my stories do do something. How much joy the stuff you make can bring other people, is honestly so cool. Even if it's just a little fanart, or an ask, or a slightly-self-indulgent fanfic :)

I'm proud of having actually got this far, and also having written something me and other people love to read

Art:

I'm actually a little embarassed of this drawing, which I know sounds counter-intuitive to the prompt, but I swear, there is a reason it's here!

This is my first, and currently only drawing of the Flim-Flam-Brothers

I had basically no idea what I was going to do with their designs, and I also only had 60min, with limited tools (because Colormari)

But the thing about this drawing, was that our prompt was basically just "New Years Resolutions". And mine was that I wanted to create more art, without getting bossed around by my inner sense of cringe. Because, while I have absolutely no problem with ranting and rambling and talking about my favourite characters all over the place; as soon as I want to put them into any form of art, my organs feel like they'll turn me inside out. It's the reason this blog has dozens of rambles about how much I love Darkwing Duck, and yet zero art of any of its characters (made by me).

But I made this - and kept it around - even though I knew the characters wouldn't look the best.

So this is the drawing I'm most proud of, because it actually exists :)

[lukascreamsintothevoid]

Blooming Panic Boys

Two obsessions hit hard at the same time today. Backstreet Boys songs and Blooming Panic LET'S GO

Quest-

Just Want You To Know- (oh god why am I doing this to myself) Your break-up song with him. Something happened, you two just weren't compatible in the long run, but god he misses you. He wants you to be happy, and he wants you to think that he's moving on from you, because he knows that you'd be worried and upset if you realized he was still devastated from your breakup. But he would give anything if you could try one more time. (I linked the music video cause the song is bittersweet, but the music video is so goddamned funny)

Chances- This man is a hopeless romantic. Utterly hopeless, and he is blown away by how many completely random and out-of-his-control things had to happen for you to end up by his side. It's over-the-top, dramatic, and romantic as hell.

As Long As You Love Me- Quest's Angel could come from any background, Have done just about anything, and his love would not change. He loves you, not where you came from or who you were before him. The here and now are what matter to him, and in the here and now, all he asks is that you love him.

Xyx-

Love Somebody- This man is so in love with everything about you. Poetic, energetic, yet really grounded in real life. These are the things he openly admits he feels about you.

Helpless When She Smiles- You would almost never be able to get him to admit it, but this song is him with you. You bring reason and life and joy to him, drive him insane, and he'd do almost anything to make you smile. You're a calm in the storm of life and his mind, but you're also a storm in and of yourself, but he'd stay in your storm forever.

Treat Me Right- This boy gets a good breakup song. Hopefully not with you. I'm kinda picturing this one as him finally leaving the ex that hurt him so badly. He adored them, and they were fine in private, but around their friends, they would talk shit about him, and be horrible to him, and he finally realizes he deserves to be treated better than that. I just can't hurt him. I really can't. His break-up song is him realizing just he deserves to be happy and treated well.

Nightowl-

Hey Mr. Dj (Keep Playin' This Song)- You and Nightowl at a club, and he's just praying that the DJ will play any song it takes to keep you in his arms. You look so good out on the floor, and he'd stay there all night with you if he could. Also, super horny song, perfect for the eager puppy :)

Passionate- ... yeah... eager, passionate nightowl... I just think that he would be this forward. Hell, he IS this forward in the game. Just... owl, please, why are you like this?

Chateau- Ok, so, Robo's headcannon that Nightowl and You divorce, but that you end up back together? This is the break-up/getting-back-together song. Nightowl still misses you, still remembers the little things about you. He meets up with you years after the divorce, just wanting to catch up, not planning on trying anything, but he then sees you and can't help himself. He'll respect what you want, but he's not letting this chance slip away. Still kinda boyish and bouncy, but matured. Perfect for 30/40 year old nightowl.

Toaster-

Safest Place to Hide- The world and work are really rough sometimes. But you and Toasty find a little peace and quiet with each other. This song just is the calm comfort that is Toasty's love for you..

Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon- Idk, this just feels like the kind way Toaster would realize how he feels. He sees you, talks to you a few times, and he kinda has a sense of what's going on. But then there's that night, talking about Bloomic, about letting things go, and you whine when he says that you should probably log off so you can be ready for work the next day. He says goodnight, logs off, and it just. Hits him. Just how much he cares about you, how much he wishes that he could keep talking to you. It was a completely normal day, and the days are going to keep going forward, but now he knows how he feels about you, and its like the world has changed, but just for him. And he has no fucking clue if you like him too. And it kinda hurts, cause he really hopes you do.

BONUS SALO

You Can Let Go- Pure Comfort. You've been working too hard, You've been letting the world tear you down. Salo wants you to smile and rely on him if you want to.

Straight Through My Heart- Me any time Salo speaks. He said hello and I broke. I'd break up with anyone and everyone at the word from Salo. Absolute GILF. (Also, Vampire music Video, so it also works for nightowl, but I would kill for Old, Grizzled, Grey Vampire Salo. That sounds so sexy.)

[bedoballoons]

Thanksgiving is coming soon! Maybe an appreciation message to each and every one of your anons? Or just your favs! Also thank you for always writing all the requests! Good work!

I was actually going to do something like this!! In truth I'm thankful for everyone who interacts with my blog, followers, people who leave notes and especially people who request things! All of them combined make me want to write my heart out and I feel incredibly lucky.

Anons...gosh my anons make my world go around, I wake up everyday so excited to see what messages I have from them, what chaos is going on in their lives. It's no lie when I say I love them <3

PREPARE FOR THE LONG POST PEOPLE

So special words for them:

Fairy anon: I'm so thankful you joined the anons, ever since that day you first started chatting I have just grown to appreciate you more and more. You bring a sense of sweetness and innocence to the anons, and you constantly ask how we are all doing. I don't think you could ever know how much seeing your "how is everyone doing today"s has brought me comfort even when I wasn't having such a good day. You're such a incredible person and I hope you know that 🩷

Sleepy anon: You're always a wild card, wether you're joining in on the simping or bringing out a new topic and I truly adore that because it keeps things fresh and shows more about how interesting of a person you are. I worry about your sleep schedule (because at this point I truly consider you all my adopted internet children and I only want the best for you), but other than that it's you who's always worried about others. Reminding me to take care of myself and rest when I need to has really helped me and I appreciate it, thank you 💙

Ramen anon: I notice you don't talk as often as the others do, meaning they probably don't know that you're actually my blood relative, my brother. I don't even truly know if I can put into words how much I love you man, you are the one who told me to write more...to follow my heart and helped me through some pretty dark times. If it weren't for I might not have met all these amazing people. Thank you for being my bro, for being so incredible to me ❤️

Donut cat: One of my very first anons ever and honestly one of the craziest too. There have been days where I felt so sad and then I'd see your asks in my inbox, talking about feet and police officers...LEGS AND NOW BOOBAS TOO. I just burst out laughing, you are one of my main sources of entertainment and I don't think I've ever had someone make me giggle as much as you have. Thank you donut cat, never change okay 🧡

Bananon: I think out of all the anons you've revealed the most about yourself, you're always involved in the conversation and talking about your life and I find it inspiring. You're brave and even when fighting illnesses and studies that probably have your head hurting, you always make time to stop in and talk to everyone. I love seeing what you're up to and I always want the best for you, thank you for being a inspiration and a important part of this anon family 💜

Fox anon: I'm not sure if you'll see this, but I'm thankful for having met you, for being able to read all of your many brain rotting ideas. I miss you to say the least, but I also see your name pop up sometimes in my notifications. Likes or reblogs, I see it and I smile to myself. I hope you're doing okay and you know you're always a joy to talk to 💖

New anons: Starstruck, Mushroom, Pancake! I'm already so appreciative of you all! From how funny pancake anon is when it comes to Heizou, to how sweet starstruck is, to how quiet mushroom anon is! You've all become apart of this group and I can't wait to learn more about you and chat with you about more fun things! Thank you for giving me that opportunity

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

(I won't lie...I teared up writing this. You are all the most amazing people ever...thank you for everything <3)

[sammy-writes-sometimes]

Word count: 564

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Impulse couldn't sleep, not even when Bdubs was there, especially when Bdubs was there.

Limited Life would start tomorrow and, like always, he'd have to form a new alliance. New people, different from the last, that's always how it went.

But looking at Bdubs, curled up on his side and facing towards the demon hybrid, he just couldn't. He couldn't sleep, couldn't think about what would happen, couldn't stop thinking about how it'd feel to-

Bdubs squeezes Impulse's hand where they hold it in the middle of the bed, between their two pillows. Their eyes are open only a sliver, just enough to know he's awake.

The dryad gives a soft smile, a silent form of comfort, an even quieter 'please tell me your worries'.

"Sorry." He tries to smile in return, but Impulse knows is crooked and obviously ingenuine. "I couldn't sleep."

They hum, rubbing their thumb along the back of Impulse's hand.

This should be normal, just another bout of insomnia, but it's almost like Bdubs knows there's something more as he brings himself closer.

"I-I don't know why… I- just - I'm scared, Bdubs."

There's a hand on his cheek now, soft and kind and warm in a way Impulse melts into. "Do you want to talk?"

"Of course I do." He almost laughs.

Bdubs hums then sits up, resting Impulse's head into his lap as well trained hands play with his hair, scratching a spot on his scalp that makes him turn mush as he purrs.

"It's just- just the new game and all. I'm- we're not going to be together and…" his voice drifts off for a moment as he takes a deep breath. "I don't want to be killed by you. Again."

His husband's eyes turn up with worry and he looks away. "You know none of us can really control that…"

Impulse can't help to feel how hollow Bdubs sounds, none of his usual joy or care in his own words.

"I try – really, I try – not to kill my partners. Doesn't matter if- if it's a game or a different world…"

Again, their voice is drifting, and Impulse almost knows what he's going to say next by the look in his dark brown eyes.

"I still feel horrible for killing Tango, and for killing you. Didn't- didn't matter that you and I weren't a thing then, you were still a friend that trusted me and-" He cuts himself off, looking away.

Even in the dark, he can still see the expression on Bdubs' face, one that likely mirrors his own. Sorrow, fear, and even a hint of annoyance.

Softly smiling, Impulse reaches a hand up to pull Bdubs down, awkwardly nuzzling his partner as best he could.

There's a soft kiss on his nose, then Bdubs is pulling away and–

He doesn't think he's seen the man more tired in his life, not even in the games.

Despite everything Impulse wants to say, wants to pour straight for his heart, a part of him just stares at the man about him. His gaze is turned, much more quiet than usual, by his husband, and he smiles.

"Maybe I could get revenge." Impulse jokes. "Maybe, just maybe, I could finally kill you for a change."

Bdubs laughs in the way where he scrunches his nose, smiling so brightly it almost hurts to look at. "Go to sleep, Impulse."

[torchickentacos]

It’s one of your ContestShipping anons ✨🌹 and just wanted to be like,,, look if you haven’t listened to the song “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng before 11/10 if you have a moment and want to have feelings I recommend it cause it gives me hardcore yearning Drew POV vibes like maybe Battle Frontier Era roughly,,, ?? Like the lyrics “God I just want to lay down These colors make my eyes hurt This feeling calls for everything that I am Not” and “I’m so good at shooting down any notion This tired world could change … but you had to come along didn’t you Rev up the crowd, rewrite the rule book Where do I go when every ‘no’ turns into ‘maybe’ So what do I do with this?” It gives him, it gives blorbo. It’s given me some writing Inspo for them which who knows if it’ll come of something but wanted to share in case it might make you also see shrimp colors. Thank you for running a cool blog for us for are feral for these nerds again

Oh my god, I am in love with this song. I had never heard it before, but you're SO RIGHT. It just SCREAMS Late AG Drew to me. It DEFINITELY gives me shrimp colors!!!!!

I have MANY favorite lines from this song after many listens. I took a few days to answer this because I REALLY wanted to take time to digest this song, to fully immerse myself in it and understand it, eespecially when given the context of our favorite green dude. Under cut because all of my anons just get essays at this point. I imagine that's what you're here for though!!! If you guys are anything like me, you'll read SO MANY WORDS worth of analysis and opinions on these two. Ok let's go!!!

The biggest lyric that hit me like a truck:

So what do I do with this?

This sudden burst of sunlight, and me with my umbrella

cross-indexing every weatherman's report

I was ready for the downslide but not for spring to well up

OKAY. So, the biggest thing about this to me is this: Spring and Fall. May and Drew's japanese names reference spring and fall, respectively- May, a warm sunshiney prescence and Drew, a chilly autumn breeze bringing in rain with his umbrella (but under the chilly surface sits gorgeous autumnal leaves!). And obviously, this lyric reflects the spring to his autumn, spring that he didn't account for. (I have a theory on Harley and Solidad being summer and winter or vice versa, but this isn't about them and I'm still working on it).

The next set of lyrics that got me was this one.

I've just settled into the glass half empty, made myself at home

I think this lyric fits because Drew is someone who is very comfortable within his own walls, something I reference quite often with him. He puts up walls and they are very difficult to knock down- he settles into this guarded aloofness, this careful, precarious arrogance. Which fits the above quite well-settling into and making yourself at home in a guarded cynicism.

Until someone comes along and knocks it all down. Below lyrics, fragmented.

These inconvenient fireworks / this sudden burst of sunlight / a love that won't sit still.

GOSH anon your mind. it is large. May is this bright spot, this loud firework of heart-on-her-sleeve emotions, this juxtaposition to his cool and calm disposition. tv tropes red blue character symbolism and all that. She's that sun to his clouds, the wrecking ball to the walls he put up so carefully, knocking them over as if they were but dominoes precariously stacked. GOSH I think this song is perfect for him tbh.

Anyways, you have added another song to my contestshipping playlist. as if it needed another. but here we go ALSO GUYS SHARE YOUR CONTEST PLAYLISTS AND OTHER SONGS WITH ME I LOVE DOING THIS STUFF SO MUCH. I love that I ask you guys to send me anons and you actually do!!! I have a LOT of inbox activity for a blog my size and it fills me with SUCH joy, genuinely.