#no onion

[gladosluver]

Tierlist and Yap™

[samspicturesandwords]

[lukascreamsintothevoid]

Blooming Panic Boys

Two obsessions hit hard at the same time today. Backstreet Boys songs and Blooming Panic LET'S GO

Quest-

Just Want You To Know- (oh god why am I doing this to myself) Your break-up song with him. Something happened, you two just weren't compatible in the long run, but god he misses you. He wants you to be happy, and he wants you to think that he's moving on from you, because he knows that you'd be worried and upset if you realized he was still devastated from your breakup. But he would give anything if you could try one more time. (I linked the music video cause the song is bittersweet, but the music video is so goddamned funny)

Chances- This man is a hopeless romantic. Utterly hopeless, and he is blown away by how many completely random and out-of-his-control things had to happen for you to end up by his side. It's over-the-top, dramatic, and romantic as hell.

As Long As You Love Me- Quest's Angel could come from any background, Have done just about anything, and his love would not change. He loves you, not where you came from or who you were before him. The here and now are what matter to him, and in the here and now, all he asks is that you love him.

Xyx-

Love Somebody- This man is so in love with everything about you. Poetic, energetic, yet really grounded in real life. These are the things he openly admits he feels about you.

Helpless When She Smiles- You would almost never be able to get him to admit it, but this song is him with you. You bring reason and life and joy to him, drive him insane, and he'd do almost anything to make you smile. You're a calm in the storm of life and his mind, but you're also a storm in and of yourself, but he'd stay in your storm forever.

Treat Me Right- This boy gets a good breakup song. Hopefully not with you. I'm kinda picturing this one as him finally leaving the ex that hurt him so badly. He adored them, and they were fine in private, but around their friends, they would talk shit about him, and be horrible to him, and he finally realizes he deserves to be treated better than that. I just can't hurt him. I really can't. His break-up song is him realizing just he deserves to be happy and treated well.

Nightowl-

Hey Mr. Dj (Keep Playin' This Song)- You and Nightowl at a club, and he's just praying that the DJ will play any song it takes to keep you in his arms. You look so good out on the floor, and he'd stay there all night with you if he could. Also, super horny song, perfect for the eager puppy :)

Passionate- ... yeah... eager, passionate nightowl... I just think that he would be this forward. Hell, he IS this forward in the game. Just... owl, please, why are you like this?

Chateau- Ok, so, Robo's headcannon that Nightowl and You divorce, but that you end up back together? This is the break-up/getting-back-together song. Nightowl still misses you, still remembers the little things about you. He meets up with you years after the divorce, just wanting to catch up, not planning on trying anything, but he then sees you and can't help himself. He'll respect what you want, but he's not letting this chance slip away. Still kinda boyish and bouncy, but matured. Perfect for 30/40 year old nightowl.

Toaster-

Safest Place to Hide- The world and work are really rough sometimes. But you and Toasty find a little peace and quiet with each other. This song just is the calm comfort that is Toasty's love for you..

Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon- Idk, this just feels like the kind way Toaster would realize how he feels. He sees you, talks to you a few times, and he kinda has a sense of what's going on. But then there's that night, talking about Bloomic, about letting things go, and you whine when he says that you should probably log off so you can be ready for work the next day. He says goodnight, logs off, and it just. Hits him. Just how much he cares about you, how much he wishes that he could keep talking to you. It was a completely normal day, and the days are going to keep going forward, but now he knows how he feels about you, and its like the world has changed, but just for him. And he has no fucking clue if you like him too. And it kinda hurts, cause he really hopes you do.

BONUS SALO

You Can Let Go- Pure Comfort. You've been working too hard, You've been letting the world tear you down. Salo wants you to smile and rely on him if you want to.

Straight Through My Heart- Me any time Salo speaks. He said hello and I broke. I'd break up with anyone and everyone at the word from Salo. Absolute GILF. (Also, Vampire music Video, so it also works for nightowl, but I would kill for Old, Grizzled, Grey Vampire Salo. That sounds so sexy.)

[prokopetz]

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)

[d6b-onion]

this video has been going around for a while but the English subtitles didn't match the energy of the spoken French at all. i had to fix it.

reblog to spread this version

[dunmestuffy]

[animentality]

[nouverx]

You gotta excuse his 1920's ass, he's still learning slangs

[mysharona1987]

[get-more-bald]

NEED a burger

[puipui-official]

"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, that man has been killed. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[demonicsuffrage]

The Robins(and 1 signal) + The Onion/Reductress headlines

Other batfam

[marlowe-art]

I saw a meme about onions tonight and I was so captivated by the beauty of the humble red onion I knew I had to draw one immediately

[animentality]