#i do recommend the boom because it's important and actually quite good

[someplace-darker]

Reviewers who name "My dark vanessa" an age gap romance, need to put the barrel of a shotgun in their mouth and see if the blast can reignite their critical thinking skills

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Dallas Connection (1994)

The Dallas Connection is hilariously inept. In many ways, it’s got everything you want out of a "so bad it's good" action film. The performances are awful, with the title of “least convincing” constantly moving from one actor to the next. The plot is simplistic, bordering on idiotic, making it easy to follow even if you’re spending more time shouting insults at the screen than paying attention to what’s going on. The script contains gems like “I’d like to suck the polish off your toes” to keep you laughing. There aren’t a lot of action scenes but when bullets are exchanged, they usually result in some unconvincing dummies blowing up. Most important of all, it takes itself completely seriously, with several final act twists proving that some of the “mistakes” we saw previously were actually intentional. Only one thing prevents me from wholeheartedly recommending it to everyone. What is it? Read on.

A trio of beautiful assassins - Black Widow (Julie Strain), Cobra (Julie K. Smith) and Scorpion (Wendy Hamilton) - eliminate three of the four scientists involved in the creation of an advanced satellite system. To ensure Antonio Morales (Rodrigo Obregón) doesn’t fall prey to the same fate, special agents Chris Cannon (Bruce Penhall), Mark Austin (Mark Barriere), Samantha Maxx (Samantha Phillips) and Nicholas Lang (Roland Marcus) are sent to protect him.

Though the plot is easily summarized, it’s made to seem needlessly complicated. This is because of some equation that was split up among the scientists and then converted into microchips that need to be brought together so the satellite can be activated by a meteor shower. This will allow whoever uses it to detect any weapon on earth, anywhere - even underground. Huh? What? It makes no sense but doesn’t matter. The point is, we have a bunch of male scientists with something the evil people want. How do you get a man to hand over something useful? By seducing them, or blowing them up. Enter the trio of female assassins, all of whom are played by Playboy playmates. Like I always say, if you can’t be good, be sleazy and this movie takes that mantra to heart. Unnecessary shower scenes, prolonged sex scenes, a trip to a strip club and loads of inappropriate outfits make this the kind of movie that would be watched over and over by teenage boys late at night. It’s not quite as bad as Skyscraper, but it’s close. The most hilarious R-rated moment has to be a sequence set in a fancy restaurant. Mr. Morales begins fantasizing about what his bodyguard would look like in lingerie so of course we see Samantha Philips out of her clothes. They had to find some way to get it done… beyond the sex scene she had earlier.

While this obsession with the female body is hilarious and pleasing to anyone who might enjoy the female form… it might also be the one thing that won’t make The Dallas Connection fun for every crowd - especially if your group contains couples. Reportedly, Bruce Penhall’s wife was pretty upset by his enthusiasm in the hot tub scene. It’s easy to see why.

The ladies were cast primarily for their ability to dazzle audiences with their shirts off but the male characters aren't exactly Shakespearean all-stars either. One-liners that should have you cheering will instead make you groan, important dialogue is thoroughly unconvincing (and contains grammatical errors at least once) and everyone comes off as an idiot. It certainly doesn’t help that the story is full of inconsistent behavior - even if you take the twists at the end into consideration. You can spot a boom mike in the upper left corner of an early scene and the story will have you scratching your head. You’d think with the villains’ team being primarily composed of three “strong” women that Samantha would be the big hero at the end. She’s the only one that can’t be seduced, she’s the one that gets closest to Morales, and as the only woman on the team, she stands out. Except she’s a terrible agent. One punch and she’s down for the count - hardly a badass. You might say I was expecting too much but some of the reveals at the end are proper "Oh!" moments that force you to pause and think. Not much, but for a movie of this level, that counts for a lot.

Ultimately, The Dallas Connection is light on the action but makes up for it with the gratuitous nudity. At first, you'll say “Alright, I see what you did there” but it’s expected out of a film like this one. It’s what the poster is promising, after all. The third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc. time the film finds a way to get the women out of their clothes are so absurd you'll be howling. Once in a while, it also switches things up with some bad performances, unconvincing dummies, lousy dialogue, and nonsensical writing. From my research, it sounds like this is par for the course for director Christian Drew Sidaris. If that's the case, I’m looking forward to seeing more. (March 26, 2022)

[themomsandthecity]

What Do You Mean You're a Baby Name Consultant?

Baby names have always been an important consideration for parents, but it feels as though there's more pressure than ever to pick the "perfect" one right now. As influencers enthusiastically share their discarded name ideas, an entire industry is popping up, with baby name consultants making careers out of nomenclature. Colleen Slagen, who's known as Naming Bebe online, is a mom of three who made the career switch from nurse to name consultant a little over year ago. Slagen says she's always loved baby names - long before they became a TikTok trend - and it's not just a hobby, it's an "obsession," she tells PS. As a child, Slagen would carefully scan all the names in her yearbooks and school phone books. "I can still remember what one of my fourth-grade teachers named her baby, and what the chemistry teacher named hers," she says. Coming up with baby names was even a favorite activity of hers and her cousins growing up. "I had a whole diary full of baby names." Where does that fascination come from? Slagen thinks it started out as just childlike daydreaming about her future family. "You name your dolls and it's fun, and then that evolves," she says. "When 'The Sims' came out I was obsessed with that." Slagen used to joke that if she could name babies for work, she would. "I never actually thought it would be a real thing." Slagen started to help name babies in an unofficial capacity once her friends started having kids. She received positive feedback, and during her own maternity leave in 2021, she started attracting some clients through a mom Facebook group. Once she began posting to TikTok, however, business boomed. She quit her job in 2023 to do name consultations full-time. "I wanted to take that leap and just go for it," Slagen adds. Slagen currently schedules about 15 consultations per month, although that number fluctuates based on the demands of her personal life, and consultations range in price from $250 to $400 depending on the package. But what does a consultation entail exactly? Slagen shares below. PS: Walk me through a typical consultation. Colleen Slagen: For the most part we're interacting via email. I started doing some face-to-face, video consultations right before I had my third baby in March, but I've put those on hold for now because they're just too difficult to schedule. First, I send parents a questionnaire and it's pretty detailed. I want to know mainly how they would describe their name style. The biggest clues for me are: what names do they like, are there any siblings and what are their names? Also, what are top contenders, and what are top names they like but can't use for some reason? That gives me a pretty good sense of their style, but we get into a lot of nuances: Are there certain sounds that are off limits? For a lot of people, if their last name ends in a long "e" sound, they don't want the first name to end the same way. Are there family names they wanna incorporate in some way? Is a name's meaning important to them? I recently had somebody give me three spreadsheets in response to the questionnaire. It was a lot to sift through. Narrowing down the options is part of it, but some people are stuck and don't have any ideas, or two partners can't agree. PS: How do you navigate that? CS: In the recommendations for a couple like that, I try to give a couple ideas that I think are geared toward each partner's style and then a couple ideas that could appeal to both. So, maybe that's a formal name that's a little traditional, like "Harrison" for example, but with a nickname like "Sonny" that's a little more kind of vintagey-modern. I do find a huge portion of the consult is really people wanting feedback on their list. Usually they have a name that they like, but they have some holdup with it and they want an objective opinion. There's a little more anxiety around baby names these days with social media. You announce it to a world that's way bigger… https://www.popsugar.com/family/baby-name-consultant-interview-49370740?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[neocrush]

— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

[nikki-writes-stuff]

Beauty In the Blood - Part 5

Summary: One day your friend convinces you to join a dating website that matches people based on their search histories, and when you match with Loki Odinson, a handsome, intelligent coroner who’s a fan of your murder mysteries, you’re absolutely thrilled. But there’s something off about Loki, and as your relationship progresses, you discover that his dark side is even darker than you could ever have imagined…

Pairing: Serial Killer!Loki x Writer!Reader

Read part four here! 

A/N: This story is based off of this post! I hope you guys enjoy; this is my first time writing Loki, and this will probably be the darkest thing I’ve ever written. Please let me know what you think as the story progresses!

*Please read to the end for another author’s note!*

A/N: Warning, folks! Here be smut! Nothing too dark in this chapter as far as gore or violence goes, though. Which... I suppose is a plus, considering this story. I hope you guys enjoy!

Too good to be true.

That was the thought that kept plaguing you, even four months later. He’s too good to be true. This relationship is too good to be true. What happens when I figure out that this is too good to possibly be true?

And yet, day after day, Loki continued to prove you wrong. It wasn’t all just the big romantic overtures that you found out he loved to make. (Like the time he had a dozen red roses delivered to your door on your one-months anniversary. Or the brand new matching wireless keyboard and mouse he got to make writing easier for you. Or the time he took you to a quaint, tucked away speak-easy to treat you to a night of drinks and slow dancing.)

It was in the little things, too. How he would come over on days where you felt less-than-good to hold you and watch your favorite movies. Or how he would send you texts throughout the day to tell you about an interesting case at work, or to ask you what you wanted for dinner on date night, or just to tell you that he was thinking about you.

In fact, some would even say that he was too attentive, too perfect, and were it anyone else, alarm bells would be going off in your head. But there was something about him that made you keep coming back for more, and even with months now behind you, you still couldn’t get enough.

And maybe that was why you were so nervous right now. Pacing back and forth across the length of your bedroom, you stared down at your stocking-clad feet as you tried frantically to tamp down the butterflies batting around your rib cage. You knew, consciously, that even if tonight were a disaster, Loki would still care about you. He wouldn’t just up and leave, even if Thor ended up despising you.

But you still really hoped he wouldn’t.

A gasp parted your lips when the tell-tale sound of your doorbell echoed throughout your home, and after one more deep breath, you pulled your heels on and made your way down the stairs. With one last glance in the mirror and a quick, silent prayer to whoever might be listening, you threw your purse over your shoulder and opened your front door.

His smile still caught you off guard sometimes. As you stepped out into the darkness of the evening, you felt heat flood your cheeks as Loki grinned up at you. He was dressed impeccably as always, sporting a dark green suit with a crisp white shirt, and if the way his eyes raked over you was anything to go by, he was more than pleased with how you looked, as well.

“And you must be the woman I’ve heard so much about!”

A loud, booming voice took you off guard, and you watched as annoyance flashed over your boyfriend’s face at the outburst. As he turned to shoot a glare over his shoulder, you caught a flash of the other man waiting at the base of your front steps, and though you already knew that Loki was adopted, you were still briefly taken aback by just how different the two brothers were.

Thor was just as large as Loki had described, and although the two stood at about the same height, his shoulders and build were so broad that he would have been quite intimidating, were it not for the large grin on his face. His long hair was pulled up into a loose bun, showing off a pair of blue eyes that seemed to radiate genuine happiness, and despite your still-present nerves, you couldn’t help but let a matching smile come over your features.

“Hi, Thor. Loki’s told me so much about you.”

“And I’m sure all of it is incredibly flattering, right?” He sent a conspiratorial glance back to Loki, who only raised an eyebrow.

“Whatever could I tell her about you that wouldn’t be flattering, brother?”

“Nothing comes to mind, seeing whereas I’ve never done anything wrong or questionable.”

“Thor Odinson? Perish the thought.”

The man in question let out a bark of laughter before turning back to you and extending his arm for a handshake.

“Well, my brother has nothing but glowing remarks about you,” he remarked, all but crushing your hand in his grip. “And I couldn’t be more thrilled to finally meet the woman who’s stolen Loki’s heart.”

Once more, you felt heat rising in your face, and you let out a nervous chuckle as Thor dropped your hand. From your right, you felt an arm slither around your waist, and you leaned into Loki’s warmth.

“Thank you so much! It’s a pleasure to meet you, too.”

“You don’t need to lie for his sake, love,” Loki stage-whispered into your ear. Rolling your eyes, you gave him a nudge with your elbow, though Thor seemed to be used to his brother’s sass. Without a glance in his direction, Thor reached into his pocket and withdrew a set of keys, clicking a button on them until you heard a car beep close by.

“Shall we be off, then?” he asked. “We have about twenty minutes until our reservation.”

“That is if his driving doesn’t kill us along the way,” Loki snarked, guiding you towards the car with a hand on your lower back.

“I didn’t hear you offering to drive earlier, Loki,” Thor commented, sending his brother a look that elicited a scowl in response.

“Only because my car is in the shop. Remember?”

“Excuses, excuses.”

You giggled at the pained look your boyfriend sent you, pecking his cheek as Thor made his way around to the driver’s seat. Loki offered to sit in the back, but after a few moments of deliberation, you ended up sitting in the back with Loki on the passenger side next to Thor. Your seating arrangements ended up working out perfectly, though, because you had the perfect vantage point to watch the two brothers bicker over how to get to the restaurant. Loki was doing his best to navigate, but… Well. You quickly learned that it was of no use with Thor behind the wheel.

“I said take a left at Sycamore, Thor.”

“I heard you. But there’s a shortcut between Sycamore and Highland Street.”

“No, there’s not. Have you even driven through this part of New York before?”

“You forget I used to live here, too, brother. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“Oh, just like you did when we were driving through London, yes?”

“That was your fault. If you hadn’t had tried to-“

“WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!”

Needless to say, the twenty minute drive was eventful to say the least, and you were only mildly traumatized by the way Thor was bobbing and weaving through the thick New York traffic. Even Loki looked a bit green from it, and you’d never seen your boyfriend shaken by anything. When both of you had your feet once again on solid ground, he wrapped an arm around you once again and whispered against your hair.

“I really do apologize for all of that, darling.”

“No, please don’t. It was funny,” you assured him, pecking his cheek as Thor rounded the vehicle towards you. “Usually you’re so…unperturbed. It was nice to see you a little ruffled.”

He sent you a bemused smile, but it vanished as Thor clapped him on the back hard enough to make him stumble forward a few steps.

“Well, nothing ruffles Loki’s feathers like me. It took an entire month of convincing for him to even agree to me visiting.”

“A decision I’m regretting more and more as the minutes tick by…”

Soon enough, the three of you were sat at a table in one of the nicest restaurants you’d ever been to. Surprisingly enough, Thor had recommended the place, and after your waiter came by to take your drink orders, you rested your hand on top of Loki’s and turned towards the blonde.

“Thank you for the restaurant suggestion, Thor. How’d you hear about this place?”

“My girlfriend actually told me about it. Usually when I’m in New York on business, I just go to local food trucks or pizza parlors. But Jane said that I should take you two somewhere nice. She apologizes for not being able to make the trip, by the way. She was just as curious about you as I was, but she had an important conference to give a lecture at.”

“That sounds amazing! And no worries; I’d love to meet her next time you’re in town. What do the two of you do for a living?”

“Well, Jane is an astronomer – one of the best in the entire world, actually,” he started, his eyes lighting up at the mention of his partner. “She’s lecturing on a new design she’s invented, some sort of spectrometer. Honestly, it all goes way over my head, but that’s why she’s the genius.”

“To be fair, most things go over your head, brother.”

Thor rolled his eyes at Loki’s quip, and when you turned towards your boyfriend, you saw that he had a small smile on his face to match the mischievous glint in his eyes. You knew better than to take him seriously; anyone would be able to see how close the two were, despite their back-and-forth.

“And what about you, Thor? Loki’s never told me what you do for a living.”

“I work for Stark Industries,” he replied, taking a sip of the large pint of beer he’d ordered. “It’s not much, but it keeps me busy.”

“Not much, indeed,” Loki interjected. “You’re only in charge of the entire marketing department, after all.”

Your eyes widened at that; Stark Industries was one of the biggest, most well-known brand names in the world. From appliances to electronics to clean energy, it was right up there with Google and Disney as far as most were concerned, and to think that Thor was in such a high-ranking position, well… From the things Loki had told you about Thor, you hadn’t expected such a career for him.

“Wow. That’s…incredible. So you know Tony Stark?”

“Oh, me and Tony are great friends. But I don’t ‘run’ the marketing department by any means. Just the UK faction of it.”

“’Just’?”

After that, the waiter stopped by to take your respective orders, after which Thor settled his attention on you once more.

“So, Loki has already told me about your writing. It’s funny to think of him dating the author responsible for those books he’s obsessed over for years.”

“I’m not obse-“

“Has he asked you to sign any of his copies yet?”

He had, jokingly, at one point. But you didn’t tell Thor that.

The rest of the evening passed by without incident, and your nerves quickly evaporated as the three of you laughed and talked through the rest of the meal. Loki liked to joke at Thor’s expense, but it was clear that he held his older brother in high regard, and Thor clearly loved Loki very much. More than a few times, you caught him watching you and Loki closely, a discerning, considering look in his eyes that belayed an intelligence you hadn’t expected. He might not be as book smart or as well-spoken as his younger sibling, but Thor obviously was good when it came to reading people. Whatever he was looking at, though, it didn’t disappoint, because any time your eyes met, he would send you a small, encouraging smile that would immediately dissipate any worries you might have had.

In what felt like no time at all, the three of you were piling out of the car at your house again, and you didn’t hesitate to return Thor’s hug as he said his goodbyes.

“It was wonderful to meet you,” he assured you. “Loki’s never let me meet any of his girlfriends before, but I see now that he was just waiting for the right one to come along first.”

Taken off guard by his genuine compliment, you could only blink up at him for a few moments in surprise before your brain kicked back in.

“That’s…so kind of you to say, Thor. Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

After clapping you on the shoulder, Thor said his goodbye and got back into his car, giving you and Loki some privacy. As soon as his blonde head disappeared into the vehicle, you felt two cold hands cup your cheeks, and before you knew it, you were being pulled into a deep, toe-curling kiss, and you let yourself melt into your boyfriend’s embrace as he held you against him.

“That went well, I would say,” he murmured as the two of you finally parted. “He likes you, if that wasn’t already obvious.”

“I like him, too,” you smiled. “Thank you for letting me meet him.”

“I should be the one thanking you, love.”

He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but you watched as uncertainty began to creep along his features, and after a few moments of considering, his mouth snapped shut once again.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “I forgot what I was going to say, is all. I think driving with Thor still has my brains slightly scrambled.”

“Hm.” You didn’t believe him, not for a second, but whatever it was left your mind as soon as his lips came down onto yours once more. This kiss was slower than before, and lingering; his hands slid up over your hips to settle on your waist, and he let out a soft sigh through his nose before pulling away to set his forehead on yours.

“I should probably head home,” he whispered. “But Thor leaves out tomorrow morning. Would you like to come over tomorrow?”

“For dinner?”

“And dessert.”

You grinned, pressing one last kiss to his lips before taking a step towards your door.

“I love you, Loki. Have a good rest of your evening.”

“I will, darling. But only because I’ll be thinking of you.”

_______________

The two men drove in silence back to Loki’s house, leaving him to think back over the evening. It couldn’t have gone better, in his opinion. Thor liked you, but Thor was a bit like a golden retriever in that way. He loved most of the people he met, whereas Loki had always been more comparable to a cat; he needed to trust someone before deciding whether or not he liked them, typically, and his trust was not easily gained. In fact, there were only two people in the world he truly trusted, and now, they’d both finally made the other’s acquaintance.

The silence was finally broken when Thor parked in front of Loki’s home. As they both sat there, illuminated by the dashboard and streetlights, his elder brother turned to face him fully.

“I like her,” he announced, as though Loki couldn’t already tell that. “Does she know?”

Loki arched an eyebrow before getting out of the car and fishing his keys out of his pocket, striding up to his door as his brother scrambled to catch up with him.

“I have no idea what you could be alluding to,” he replied, opening his front door and bending down to scoop up Lovecraft, who had a habit of swiping at Thor anytime he tried to enter the house.

“Oh, I wonder,” Thor countered, shutting the door behind him before peeling off his winter coat. “I suppose I could be talking about your allergy to dogs. Or perhaps your aversion to the color orange. Or, oh, I don’t know, your habit of murdering innocents. Who knows?”

With a roll of his eyes, Loki hung his coat up beside Thor’s and started striding towards his basement stairs, trusting Thor to follow him.

“How many times must I tell you – there’s no such thing as ‘innocent’. Not in today’s world, at least.”

“Try telling that to a jury.”

“Hopefully it’ll never come to that point,” Loki sighed. He bypassed the first room of his basement, not giving a second glance to the old, miscellaneous pieces of furniture and the stacked boxes of keepsakes from childhood. No, instead he focused on the large, dusty bookshelf that covered the far wall of the room, reaching for the thick compendium of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets that hid the keyhole.

“I’ll never get used to being down here…” Thor’s voice was uncharacteristically small in here; usually, his baritone could be heard from several rooms away, but his mood always took a dark turn when he was reminded of Loki’s…’proclivities’.

“You can always wait upstairs, you know,” Loki uttered without a backwards glance, fitting the small key into the lock and twisting until he heard a click.

“I know,” his brother assured him. “But I promised I’d help you, so let’s just get this over with.”

Smirking, Loki pocketed his keys and pulled the hidden door open, watching a section of the bookcase separate from the rest and turn on the hinges he’d installed so long ago. The creaking shriek they elicited made him wince, and he made a mental note to grease them before his next houseguest.

Luckily for Thor, the only beings alive or dead in Loki’s house were the two of them and Lovecraft, who pattered in after them before jumping up onto the chair in the corner. He typically didn’t allow his cat entry to this room, for obvious reasons, but he decided to leave her be as he knelt next to the detached backseat from his car that was sitting in the middle of the room.

“I’ve already replaced the stuffing; you just need to help me reupholster, and then I can do the rest.”

Thor knelt beside him with a grumble, grabbing a staplegun from his wall of power tools and torture instruments as he kept his eyes stubbornly focused on the seat.

“You know, if you used plastic tarps like any self-respecting serial killer would, you wouldn’t have to reupholster anything in the first place,” he groused. Loki knew that he had a point, and he usually did use plastic when transporting his victims.

“…This one was a bit of a last minute decision,” he finally conceded. “But I’m handling it, as you can see.”

Thor’s lips turned white as he pressed them together, pausing in his struggle to roll out more fabric.

“Loki, you can’t afford to make many last minute decisions with this sort of thing,” he muttered, all joking gone from his voice. “You promised me you’d be careful if and when you get these…urges.”

“And I am,” Loki assured his brother. “Truthfully. No one has ever suspected me of anything. Not once, and you know that.”

With a huff, Thor nodded and continued his work, his movements echoing in the concrete chamber. In the back of his mind, Loki knew that his brother was right, though. Five months ago, he never would have been so careless as to get a victim’s blood on his suede car seats. But, now that he had you in his life, all of his passions seemed to be reigniting. For one, he’d never had as much sex in his previous relationships as he was having with you. He also never felt the need to talk to someone as much as he spoke with you; he hadn’t had many girlfriends or boyfriends in the past, but the ones he’d had always complained about him being too distant, too aloof, too ‘unfeeling’. Now, though, he found himself craving you and your company at all times during the day, and his alone time was less and less precious to him as he considered how much better it would be having you by his side.

However, as those passions rose, others did as well. You and your newest novel were a constant source of inspiration to him, and his lust for blood had grown considerably. If he kept up the pace that he was at right now, he knew it would only be a matter of time before he slipped up. But he pushed that thought aside, as he always had. That was a bridge he would cross when he came upon it.

“…Will you ever tell (Y/N)?”

Thor’s question was sudden, and it made his hands still as he reached for the staple gun.

“…Are you suggesting that I do?”

“Of course not.” Thor shook his head, biting back a curse as he tried stretching a length of suede over the car seat’s frame. “At least, not right now. I think both of us know that it wouldn’t end well. But this is a…mammoth secret to keep from a significant other, Loki. And if you weren’t able to hide it from me, there will come a day when you won’t be able to hide it from her, either. Not if you’re going to keep her in your life.”

“You didn’t find out until I was twenty,” he countered. “And you only found out because I got sloppy.”

“I still knew that there was something off. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I suspected the truth for years before I caught you in the act.”

Loki’s eyebrows rose, and he didn’t know what was more surprising to him – the truth, or the fact that his brother was still able to take him off guard, even after all of the years spent together.

“…Truthfully?”

“Of course, Loki. I knew you weren’t sneaking out at night to go clubbing.” He chuckled a bit at the thought, though his laughter died the second he saw the look Loki shot him. “I saw you burning your clothes once, in the field behind our house. We were 17 at the time, I think. And I knew you wouldn’t burn them unless it were to hide…well. Bloodstains. It was the only explanation for why you decided to burn them in the middle of the night, at least.

“But I told myself that I was wrong. People do that, you know; when someone you love hurts you, or when they do something wrong, you know it. But you lie to yourself anyways.”

There was a long, heavy silence before the two brothers got back to work, one that was only broken several minutes later, when they were mostly finished.

“Loki?”

“Mm?”

Loki looked up, catching a solemn expression on Thor’s face that immediately didn’t sit right with him. For all of his sociopathic tendencies towards most people, he didn’t like to see his typically jovial sibling so serious.

“I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be you,” Thor sighed. “I’ve never fully understood how your mind works, but I know that it’s hard for you to let people in. So I’m happy for you and (Y/N). I am. But I also know that, someday, she’s going to find out. It can either be from you slipping up, or from you telling her outright. But, someday, she’s going to find out.

“I meant what I said – when you find out that someone you love is bad, and that they’ve done bad things, you lie to yourself before accepting the truth. Just…promise me that you’ll look out for when she starts lying to herself about you. Alright?”

Loki swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as he thought about you, about how your face would twist into an expression of fear, of disgust, of hatred, when you finally found out about him. And his heart sank as he pictured the fragile reality you two had been living in all of a sudden crumpling into ash. He couldn’t even bear the thought of losing you, but what other choice would he have if you found him out?

“What are you suggesting I do when she finds out?” he asked, a slight waver making its way through the syllables despite his best interest.

“I’m asking what you’re prepared to do, brother. Think it over, and please, just be careful.”

____________

You woke up the next day to find a text waiting for you from an unknown number, but as soon as you opened it, a wide smile came over your face.

Loki wouldn’t give me your number, so I had to get it out of his phone while he slept. But I wanted to tell you before I fly back to London that it was lovely meeting you, and I’m very happy my brother finally found someone he loves. -Thor

The text was sent at 6:14am, so you knew that Thor was likely already on his plane, but you still tapped out a message before getting up and starting your day.

It was great to meet you, too! Have a safe trip back.

With that, you finally dragged yourself out of bed and went about your morning routine, sending Loki a quick good morning text as you ate breakfast. You were planning on finishing up the last chapter of your coroner story, and you were excited to let him read it that evening when it was done. He’d been so supportive throughout the entire writing process that you were making record time on it; even your editor was surprised at how productive you’d been lately, and you were anxious for his thoughts on the ending.

As you sat down at your computer to type it up, though, you saw that you had an email from your publisher, and your heartrate skyrocketed as you opened it up. You’d sent them the first five edited chapters a few weeks back, and even though you already had several published books, you still got excited anytime you heard back from them.

Your heart only beat faster as you read through their email, and though you’d only just sat down, you were soon leaping out of your chair once you were done. They were going to publish it! At least, they were going to as soon as you had all of the chapters. You’d been concerned that your main character wouldn’t have as much appeal as others of yours had in the past, but as it turned out, they loved Olivia.

Before you even realized what you were doing, your phone was out of your pocket and you were dialing Loki’s number, your fingers trembling in excitement. You tapped your foot anxiously as you waited for him to pick up, and when he finally did, he barely had time to say hello before you were telling him the good news.

“Hello, darling-“

“LOKI I HEARD BACK FROM MY PUBLISHER!” you cried, grinning from ear to ear. “Also hello! Good morning, my love.”

Loki’s velvety laugh only added to your elation, and you quickly ran up to your bedroom to start getting dressed.

“Good morning to you, too. I take it the news was good?”

“It was amazing news! Fantastic news, actually. I was going to finish the final chapter today, but now I’m too excited to focus!”

“Well, love, I’m sure that if you want to just take today to celebrate, it won’t put you too far behind schedule.”

“Speaking of celebrating, can I bring lunch by today on your break? If work isn’t too busy for you, that is.”

“That should be fine, darling; work is actually quite slow.”

“Perfect! I’m going to start getting dressed, but text me which restaurant you’d like, and I’ll pick it up. My treat!”

“Alright, love,” he chuckled. “I’ll see you around noon, then.”

After you two said your goodbyes, you flew through getting ready and ran a few errands before lunch time came around. Loki, as usually, had told you that he was fine with anything and that you should pick the restaurant, so you swung by your favorite bistro before taking a cab to Bellevue Hospital, waving at the front desk staff as you passed by. They all recognized you at this point from your previous visits to see Loki on his break, and they all smiled and waved back as you made your way to the elevators.

“(Y/N)!”

You turned to see one of the receptionists calling you over, and so you shifted the food boxes in your hands and approached the desk.

“Dr. Odinson asked me to tell you that he’s in his office – it’s on the same floor as the morgue, but take a left instead of a right when you get out of the elevators. His is the third office on the left.”

After thanking her for letting you know, you headed down that way, shivering as you stepped out into the cold basement floor. His office had a bronze name placard on it that had Loki’s name on it, and so, after a quiet knock, you walked in to find him sitting behind a tidy desk, tapping away at his laptop furiously.

“I come bearing gifts!” you announced, causing his head to pop up from staring at his screen.

“Come in, love,” he smiled, standing up to help you with the food. “Thank you so much for lunch.”

“Don’t mention it! I wanted to celebrate the latest book, and I can think of no way I’d like to celebrate more than to spend time with the man I love. …And that was incredibly cheesy, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” Loki laughed, pulling the chair in front of his desk out for you. “But it was also very sweet, and I appreciate it more than you realize.”

After setting your food down on the desk, you sat down, not realizing that Loki wasn’t going back to his side of the desk until you heard the click of a lock sliding shut behind you. Turning around, you watched as Loki stepped away from the door, approaching you with a conniving glint in his eyes.

“Did…you just lock the door?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink.

“I did,” he confirmed. He didn’t elaborate further before sinking down onto his knees in front of you, and you only caught on to his intent after he gently took the to-go cup out of your hands to rest it on his desk.

“…Am I stuck in here with you, or are you stuck in here with me?” you joked, starting to squirm in your chair as Loki’s hands came down onto your knees.

The only answer you got was a wink before his lips were on yours, and all other thoughts fizzled out as his palms started creeping up your thighs, getting closer and closer to the waistband of your jeans. His tongue tasted like coffee as it glided over your own, and a small moan escaped your lips when his teeth gently nipped at your bottom lip.

“Are you sure about this?” you whispered as he started unbuttoning your pants. “I mean… What if we get caught?”

“We won’t get caught, love,” he assured you, slowly dragging your zipper down before beginning to slide your jeans off. “No one can stop us from having a little celebration. As long as you can keep quiet, that is.”

You lifted your hips as he tugged your trousers down your legs, taking your panties with them, and you shivered when you felt the cold leather chair against your exposed skin. Biting your lip, you slowly nodded your head, spreading your legs wider as Loki stooped down to place open-mouthed kisses along your inner thigh. It was wrong; you knew that there were other doctors in the offices right next to his, and you had no idea how thick or thin the walls were. Could they hear how hard you were suddenly breathing? Would someone passing by be able to hear the low, muffled groans Loki was making as he nipped and sucked hickeys into your skin?

As if sensing your thoughts, Loki glanced upwards as he spread your thighs even further apart, his lips twitching up into a smirk before he suddenly grabbed your hips and pulled, forcing your ass closer to the edge of the chair. In the same instance, he leaned down and buried his face between your legs, his nose just barely brushing against your clit as his tongue started lapping at your entrance. Your eyes rolled back he slipped it inside of you, the vibrations from his voice like bolts of lightning as he let out a guttural growl. He’d commented before on how much he loved eating you out, and you had no reason to doubt him as he thrust his tongue deeper and deeper inside of you.

“Loki…” You kept your voice at a soft whisper, gripping his hair as his tongue started alternating between thrusting into you and tracing patterns into your clit. Your hips jolted every time he swirled his tongue over your swollen bud, and it wasn’t long until they started rocking up against his face of their own accord. If you were at home, you’d already be begging for more or moaning his name over and over again, but now you were acutely conscious of every sound the two of you were making.

The panting of your breath and the obscene, slick noise of his tongue moving against you seemed to echo in the small room. With every shift of your hips, the chair you were in creaked, and you were soon fighting not to move too much for fear that it would be too loud. You were biting your lip so hard that you wouldn’t be surprised if you suddenly tasted blood, but the pleasure Loki was bringing you overshadowed any pain or discomfort.

Just as you felt the edge of your orgasm starting to approach, though, he was pulling away, licking his lips and watching your pussy clench around nothing as you tried to guide him back with the hands you had locked in his hair.

“Please,” you whimpered, “fuck, I was getting close-“

“Don’t worry, love,” he interrupted, leaning up to press a quick kiss to your lips. “I’m far from through with you.”

And that was all the warning you got before he scooped you up, setting you down onto his desk before you could do anything but let out a surprised gasp. At some point while he was eating you out, he must have taken his cock out of his pants, and now he was pushing you to lay on your back as he lined up with your entrance.

You gripped the edge of his desk so hard that your knuckles turned pale, but you still weren’t fully prepared for him to abruptly shove his cock inside of you, so hard that it pushed the air out of your lungs and pried a sharp moan from your lips. His hand came down over your mouth at its sound, and he leaned over you until your face was only inches from his.

“You have to stay quiet,” he panted, pulling out almost entirely before thrusting back into you. “You don’t want us to get caught, do you?”

You hurriedly shook your head no, and he nodded before pulling his hand away and sliding it between your bodies. You nearly moaned again once his fingertips found your clit, though, and you pressed your own hand to your mouth as he began playing with it in time with his thrusts.

“Good girl,” he purred, his own voice fighting back a moan as he started a fast rhythm. “Of course… Maybe you do want us to get caught.”

He punctuated his statement with a hard buck of his hips, and you pressed the back of your hand even harder to your lips as it startled another cry out you. The desk was beginning to creak in time with his movements, and you knew that anyone who walked by outside would be able to hear it. You just hoped that they couldn’t also hear Loki’s raspy breathing, or the way his balls were smacking against your ass with every thrust forward.

“Maybe you do want someone to hear me fucking you. Is that it?” he continued, his voice not once rising above a low growl. “Do you want them all to know that you’re mine? That you’re letting me use you, fuck you, right here in my office? Anyone with a key could get in, love. A janitor, another doctor… Anyone could come in and see what a good little slut you’re being for me. And you love that, don’t you?”

His thumb was moving faster and faster against your clit, and you were rapidly approaching your orgasm; you couldn’t remember the last time a partner had brought you so close so quickly. This was so different from how Loki usually was; typically, he was gentle with you, treating you like you would shatter if he were to grip you too tightly or kiss you too hard. But there were times, you’d found, when something else would peak through the cracks; some nights, his hand found its way around your throat, or his voice dropped into something predatory, threatening.

This was one of those times, evidently. And it always made something else rise up within you – the desire to submit, to bend to him completely, to let him have you and use you however he wanted. And so you did.

With a long, loud moan, you felt yourself cumming around his cock, so hard that it made your eyes roll back and your back arch up off of the desk, bending at an almost unnatural angle as your cunt clenched around him. Through the ringing in your ears, you heard him let out a muffled curse, and his thrusts began getting even harder, even faster, and through it all you laid back and took it. Your body was limp and pliable from your orgasm, and you watched through half-lidded eyes as he took what he wanted from it.

It wasn’t long, though, until he pulled out, stroking his cock a few more times before you felt his cum against your thighs and belly, staining your shirt with his release as he leaned heavily over you, catching his breath. After letting out a deep, heavy sigh, he leaned over, kissing you gently before resting his head on your chest.

“…Wow,” you breathed, settling one of your hands on the back of his head as your other arm drew him closer.

“I agree with that assessment,” he murmured, pressing a kiss over your heart before lazily turning towards you. “You did say you wanted to celebrate, though.”

A giggle escaped your lips at that, and he smiled softly before kissing you once again and slowly drawing himself up to full height.

“I’m…sorry, if I was too rough,” he began, but you sat up and pressed a finger to his lips, shaking your head.

“I liked it. Loki, I know you’d never hurt me,” you assured him. “And I know you don’t really mean it when you do things like call me a slut.”

“Good,” he nodded, his eyes skating over your face. “Because I don’t. And I would never, ever, hurt you.”

“Then don’t apologize for getting a little rough,” you countered, pecking his cheek before starting to stand on wobbly legs. “Because you better believe I enjoyed it.”

“Mm. I could tell.”

You swatted playfully at his arm before straightening your jeans and grabbing a tissue from his desk, dabbing at the cum he’d left on your shirt before giving up on the task entirely and deciding to just keep your coat buttoned up on the ride home.

“…(Y/N)?”

You turned to find Loki staring at you, having already smoothed his appearance back to its usual unrumpled state. The look in his eyes gave you pause, though – it was the same look that he’d had the night before, when he’d looked like he had something to tell you before deciding against it. Unbidden, fear suddenly swept over you, and you had the worst feeling that he was going to break things off, that he was going to tell you that he’d rushed into things and that he didn’t feel the same way as you.

Gulping, you stepped closer, fighting against the trembling in your hands as he took them between his, pressing a kiss to each of your palms before looking up at you once more.

“I’ve…been doing a lot of thinking, and Thor’s visit yesterday made me realize something,” he began.

“I haven’t ever felt this way about anyone before. And, if I’m being honest, sometimes it terrifies me. There are… There are things about me that I haven’t told anyone besides Thor, and even then, there are things he still doesn’t know.

“I came to the realization last night, though, that I want you to know everything about me. I want you to accept me, fully, as I’ve accepted you. And even if I’m not ready to share it all with you, I know that I want us to grow to that point together. I want you to be mine, yes, but I want to be yours, too. Wholly and completely.”

He took a deep breath, then, and your eyes grew wide as he reached into his pocket, taking out a small box and handing it to you.

“I had this made earlier today, after I dropped Thor off at the airport. And I realize that, yes, this is rushing things a bit, and I want you to know that it’s alright if you need to say no or if you need to think it over. But I’m ready to take the next step, whenever you are.”

Feeling as if time was suddenly moving in slow motion, you opened the box, tearing your eyes away from Loki just long enough to look down…

…and see a key waiting for you.

Immediately, your heart soared, and you looked up to see a tiny, hopeful smile on his lips.

“Will you move in with me, my love?”

And even though, yes, it was probably too soon, even though you’d only known Loki for four months, even though all of the logic inside of you was screaming against it, you didn’t hesitate before answering him.

“Yes!”  

____________

A/N: WOW it took forever to write this. I am so sorry! 2020 has really had its way with me, as it has with all of us, and I can’t apologize enough for letting my writing get so far behind. THANK YOU to anyone and everyone reading this, though. I hope you all are having a safe holiday season, and please don’t hesitate to contact me if you ever wanna talk! You guys are the best readers in the world, and I appreciate every single one of you! 

[obito76]

Chapter 40: Special chapter - Raven's Interview

--

“Raven Roth finally talks with the audience of Closet Fun, are you ready?”

Raven smiled and adjusted her top before dropping her left leg over right, “Yeah, i was really excited for this actually.”

“Let's do this then,”

“Alright, I'm ready.”

“Raven is absolutely hottie of Teen Titans and I’m glad I got a chance to talk to her before she took off! She is a great interview with a very sexy attitude. Raven has a wonderful natural body and uses it well! Raven was shy and reserved when she was growing up but then she got with Dick and others, and Boom! hotness overloaded!”

“Thank you for having me.” she smiled.

“How old are you? Tell me more about you Raven, and how you went from shy to bold?”

Raven : I grew up pretty tough situations and didn’t come out of my shell sexually until I started dating. I’m pretty laid back. A lot of people think I’m shy when they first meet me. It’s interesting to see them when they find out the real me because they think heros have these big personalities and very outgoing and I’m kind of not.

“How old are you?”

Raven: I’m 23.

“How long have you been in a affair with Dick?”

Raven (laughs) : Ohh..not even hesitating?,

“Readers wants to know..”

Raven : I’ve been with him since last season so we just recently completed six months. It's really good, I'm having a good time.

“You have some nice breasts, what size are they?”

Raven (laughs and stares at her breasts) : oh I’m 34 D.

“All natural, right?”

Raven: Yes, that's why guys loves them so much.

“You said you didn’t come out of your shell sexually until you started dating but when did you lose your virginity?”

Raven: I was 17.

“What's more important to you, your friendship with Starfire or you getting fucked hard by her boyfriend and knowing that you make him feel better than whatever Starfire provides him?”

Raven: I would choose friendship with Starfire while fucking her boyfriend behind her back. (laughs) it really turns me on whenever he tell me how much I'm better than his girlfriend. It's a really good feeling.

“You said you were reserved. Before you started dating, how many guys have you been with?”

Raven: quite a lot actually, but Dick is my only serious affair.

“Were you with girls before?”

Raven: Yes! Actually, the first time I had with a girl left me with a good memory so... I’m bisexual but I had never been with a girl in a serious relationship only casual.

“If there's one slutty thing you want to do with Robin, consequences be damned, what would it be?”

Raven: It's Nightwing now, but i prefer Dick. And the one thing i want to do with him.. would be..hmm.. i actually really want to get fucked by him. (laughs) Like truly fucked, just bend me over and do me. Like don't stop until you cum inside me again and again, don't stop even if I get pregnant.. it's not wierd, is it? (laughs)

“Absolutely not, you can tell us whatever you want to share, it will be only exclusive for our readers,..”

Raven : i was worried, i said too much.

“Not at all... So, How sexy do you believe you are?”

Raven: Quite a lot, i mean i can feel emotions so i can tell if we leave few Titans members then almost all of them wants to fuck me. And i feel good actually after all I'm not maintaining myself for nothing.. So, yeah.

“So, what was your first experience having an affair with Dick was like, You were sexually experienced but it’s different with knowing you are fucking your best friend Starfire's boyfriend. Were you intimidated? Nervous? Turned on?”

Raven: My first time with Dick was actually really fucking good, and after that we started to fool around regularly. First i was quite nervous of getting caught but after some time i started to enjoy the thrill and pleasure and it turned me on so much. Now i don't even care about Starfire catching us. We did had some close call but we got lucky. I won’t recommend that to anyone! (laughs) We both have some reputation and we would like to keep it. We did it beside her too and I was kind of scared and as well as really horny but after doing it two or three times, I fell in love with the whole almost getting caught aspects of it. Like having sex at risky places and almost busting moments. And, also, I found out that I really like the feeling of it. Not just crazy good sex but knowing his girlfriend is right there somewhere thinking how much she loves him while Dick fucking me hard. It was just a total turn-on to me. Now, I feel like I can’t have sex with him without Starfire being around.

“I’m sure it’s an ego boost knowing that Dick's first choice is you not Starfire l, his girlfriend.

Raven: Yes! It’s exciting! It's quite an amazing feeling!

“What’s your favorite position?”

Raven: Doggy style and I really like reverse cowgirl too. I like putting in work. I like getting dogged out but I like being in control too..., I aslo love it when my partner just slams into me.. you know, just take my both legs on your shoulder, fold me in half and Bam!.. Dick does that, quite a lot.. Just thinking about it, really turning me on right now.. (laughs)

“Have you ever thought of doing some beach sex with Dick? You know with the titans on the beach and with you wearing a damn sexy bikini and seducing him while at close proximity with Starfire?”

Raven: We have done that. (laughs) not just once or twice but a bunch of times.. i remember there was this one time we literally dry humped beside her, she was laying there and Dick and i was really busy grinding on eachother, it was good.. really good actually.

“What do you like sexually, What gets you wet?”

Raven: I really like to sniff balls. I just love to nuzzle my nose in them. Specially in Dick's, his hot and musky scent... the warmness of his balls and my nose tightly pressed against it.. it's fucking hot. That’s gets me all worked up. And then i think sucking dick really tends to do the job. I love putting in work, sucking cock, then knowing I’m going to get fucked afterwards. I also like anal. Recently, I’ve tried being fully submissive like getting slapped and all, giving up that aspect of control, that really turns me on.

“You said you also like anal, Was your first time there with Dick of with someone else?”

Raven: Yes, Dick was the first one who i spread my ass for and the only one who fucks me there. And with him i had my first anal orgasm. I was screaming in pleasure..

“How do you make sure your teammates don't hear screams and moans when you're having sex?”

Raven: We do have sound proof walls in each room, all thanks to cyborg.

“How often do you masturbate?”

Raven: I masturbate pretty rarely now because I have Dick and we have sex almost every day. (laughs) though I also enjoy masterbating a lot more than I used to. Starfire once asked me, if i would like to buy some toys and i was like why do I need toys when your boyfriend and me, we are literally having mind-blowing sex almost everyday?. Do I want a toys? No, Do I want Dick's cock? Fuck yes!, Do I want her to know? Fucking Yes! (laughs)

“Have you ever watched porn before?”

Raven: Yes. Is there someone who still haven't?” (laughs)

“What was your favorite genre?”

Raven: I would always gravitate to hardcore porn so rough sex, legs shaking orgasms. And cumplay.

“Did you have any favorite stars?”

Raven: I don't watch much porn just few in my whole life but I watched Misty Stone. She’s so sexy. I liked the way she talked to the screen. She was really nasty. I loved that. (laughs) I liked a lot of Strong guys. So yeah, i really love it when a guy dominates the girl.

“When a guy cum, where do you prefer it?”

Raven: Usually on my face, i love facials (laughs) or creampie. I also occasionally prefer in my ass, but only when it comes to Dick, He is my man afterall.

“Are you a swallower?”

Raven: Yes, i can't help it if you look into my eyes and cum all over my tongue.

“Are you a size queen? Do you like huge cocks?”

Raven: I think it matters to me just because Dick's cock is pretty big and thick, a perfect for me... Here’s the thing, I’ve had smaller guys like 7” or 8” and they’ve been able to make me cum too. But there’s something about big dicks. I’m always more turned on by a bigger cock. I like small dicks too but there’s just something about more. (laughs)

“Do you have any fantasies you would like to live out someday?”

Raven: Yes. I definitely want to have mind-blowing sex with Dick in front of Starfire. I really want to just look into her eyes and show her how much her boyfriend loves my pussy and this is how you take care of your boyfriend while Dick pounding me hard... You know like she is sitting on couch and my both hands on her side, and I'm moaning her boyfriend's name on her face.. that would be fucking amazing (laughs)

“it certainly would be.”

Raven: (laughs) i know right, i would love to see her reaction.

“What was your favorite sexual adventure with Dick”

Raven: hmm.. i don't know which one to tell. (laughs).. but there was this one time we all went to camping and we snuck into the bushes and Dick fucked me just few feets away from other. It was one of the best orgasms i ever had, i mean i was literally quivering with pleasure.. and couldn't walk or stand for next fifteen minutes after it was over..

“When you’re with a girl, do you want toys involved or just to be the two of you?”

Raven: I like to feel skin against skin, So no for toys. Scissoring, pussy rubbing, licking and grinding all the way.. oh and i also like it when my partner makes me squirt.

“Is there anything you still want to do with Dick but haven’t yet?”

Raven: I want to strap him really bad and ride him until I'm sore.

“You want to be dominant then?”

Raven: Yes! I’ve been playing around with it a little bit. It’s been a lot of fun. I was actually having sex once and I told Dick to spank me and he did, it's not like he didn't but it wasn't hard enough so i told him that he slapped my ass like a bitch and that was hot. (laughs) I love him so much! He’s really hot! Afterwards, I said, ‘I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean that!’ and of course he punished me later.. and you know how (winks)

“You mentioned you were with some girl, but what do you look for in a guy?”

Raven: I like strong guys that are taller than me. They don’t have to be crazy tall but I’m pretty short so most guys are taller than me. (laughs) I really like dreads, I’m really into that for some reason. I feel like my tastes changes over time. I like strong guys, you know the one who can toss me around and do me everywhere… I feel like I love all types of guys. That’s why I could never be in a relationship, I just love all different flavors.

“So did you find one beside Dick?”

Raven: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a boyfriend before and i was having an affair with his best friend. He was strong and i did with him more that I did with my boyfriend.. it was good.. yeah.

“You don't think if Starfire finds out about your affair with her boyfriend she'll break up with him and probably never speak to you again, so if Dick proposes that you two stay together, would you?”

Raven: That's a really tough questions. (laughs) but yes, i would like to be with him as long as he fucks me good.. i love sex and I'm getting good from Dick so what's wrong with dating him.. and if Starfire breaks up with him, it would be good for me.. I would be able to enjoy his cock all day. So yeah i will date him if he and starfire breaks up.

“Have you and Dick ever gone on a date? Like a romantic dinner or movie?”

Raven: Yes, we have. We usually do our night patrol together so we often goes for dinner or movie together, i really like it.. but we prefer to stay at tower. Whenever everyone is gone, we cook together or watch movie while making out and me jerking him off.. whatever we do turns into passionate, crazy good fucking.. i really like that part though. (laughs)

“You are a pretty wild girl. Have you had any interesting sexual experiences lately?”

Raven: I’ve calmed down within the past six months, since Dick is banging me really good but, before that, I met somebody at a Library. I ignored him for two days then hung out with him and fucked him 9 times the next day. (laughs) We fucked in the library twice, we went to his friend’s house and I fucked him on the couch then we went back to his place and I fucked him 6 more times!

“What have you learned one thing about yourself sexually during your whole affair with Dick?”

Raven: I'm quite interested into piss! I knew I was interested before but now I really want to try it! I tried to get my ex fuck buddy to piss on me and he’d do it while he was laughing and didn’t take it seriously. He did piss on me and it was for content, he was weird about it. It’s not the same as a guy who’s pissing on me and then, as soon as he’s done pissing, shoves his cock down my throat. But, now, I would love Dick to piss on me!

“What is the first thing you would like to do every single morning.”

Raven: Nuzzling my nose in Dick's balls and inhale his scent deeply.. i fucking love to sniff his balls a lot, it's hard to explain but he smells like a man and it's my absolute favourite.

“You said you’re short, how tall are you?”

Raven: I’m 5’3”.

“What are you like when you are not having sex? When you have free time, what do you do for fun?”

Raven: I really enjoy reading books. I enjoy trying new type of tea. I want to travel more. I want to experience living in different places. I really enjoy music. Books and Tea are the two things that make me the most happy. (laughs)

“What kind of music do you like?”

Raven: All types. As long as it's good.

“Do you have any favorite movies?”

Raven: That’s really hard. I watch movie occasionally, I’m really into reading books.

“What’s your favorite food?”

Raven: Right now, I have to say authentic Ramen. Not the packaged Ramen. The real fancy kind with the broth and the seaweed and the pork and the eggs. It’s good. I enjoyed it!

“What’s the wildest or kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?”

Raven: Ohh! I had this crazy Tower tour Dick gave me once. We were alone and was having sex in my room and he suddenly decided to give me a tour of our whole tower and then the next thing we were walking naked in hallways with his cock still deep in my pussy.. it was like we walk with his cock still in me, the he push me against the wall, fuck me some, and then resume our tour again.. it was the best tour i ever had in my life (laughs)

“Do you eat ass?”

Raven: Yes, just did with Dick few days ago.

“Both men and women?”

Raven: Yes.

“Alright.... that's it for today, Thank you so much Raven for giving us your time and answer some questions our readers wanted to ask”

Raven: No, Thank you actually. I was able to express myself fully, i actually quite enjoyed it.. i would love to do this again.

“We would love to meet you again.”

Raven: Thank you for having me everyone. Keep reading Closet Fun it's going to get really hot, See you again!

[archived-and-moving]

Well so... did you like Arcane? Favorite character, moment, etc? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Anon. Oh sweet anon I'm so very sorry you asked this (no im not >:))

Anyway, I loved Arcane. I'd just kind of...decided not to watch it for a few months now, so I missed a lot of the hype when it first came out. (Which, I'm pretty sure will be around 11-ish months while writing this. So uhm. It's been a little bit.) I'm not quite sure why, it's just kind of hard for my brain sometimes, even when my friends really like a piece of media and recommend it to me.

I was actually going on a quick trip, and needed entertainment, so I frantically texted one of my closest friends and boom!!! She recommended I watched Arcane! So finally a downloaded the fourth episode (blaming my phone's funky storage on this one) and watched Happy Progress Day in a good bit of confusion before going back and watching the first three when I got home.

So! Some thoughts: (Spoilers for anyone who's thinking about watching Arcane. It's really good and I truly recommend it, but you will be seriously spoiled if you read any further. You've been warned.)

Favorite Character: Oh!! That's so very hard because I don't think there's a character's writing that I specifically dislike! I enjoy how each and every character is so incredibly interwoven into the plot. However, I think I'm going to have to narrow it down to 3.

First is: Jinx!

Everyone and their mother I feel like has made art about Jinx, and also talked about her, from what little I've seen of the fandom. But goddamn does she deserve it.

She's so incredibly fucked up, but the narrative really makes you understand her actions and why they happen. It almost makes you root for her in a way. The way that her backstory is set up, from start to end is simply incredible.

Each and every path that she faces is another nail in the coffin for what she used to be. Her narrative arc is one of corruption, and her struggle with mental illness is one that is so compelling that whenever the show switches to her POV, I can't help but fist pump and also whisper a horrified "No" at the same time.

Because she's descending into a path of madness driven on by some serious abandonment, a rough life from the get-go, and the urge to convince someone that she's worth the trouble. She's worth it so please please please don't let her go. Don't leave her.

It's such a heartbreaking cycle that truly gets into my emotions and makes me feel. I'm obsessed with the way that the narrative does not throw her away like many of the characters coinciding with her arc are portrayed as doing, but also the way that it balances out her tragic past elements with some absolute badass scenes with such dope action and visuals that the screen she's on is only slightly tinged with sadness.

I wish I could put it into better words, but Jinx is simply off-the-walls in a way that is so unnervingly fun, but also devastating to watch as she scrambles to keep the people she loves close when she feels them drift away.

2. Heimerdinger

You don't understand my love for this eccentric ex-councillor. If I could go out and get lunch with any of these characters it'd be him. I want him to sloppily write all of his ideas on a napkin that I try to decipher for hours, only to fall back onto my bed in defeat.

I want to hear him talk about issues he think are important, and what he finds to be integral to his life. I would literally listen to this dude talk for hours and hours upon end, and watch with childlike wonder at his glorious inventions.

He's literally soooooooo amazing and I love him. I love the way that he was first introduced too!! He's just a goofball who really doesn't try to be funny. And omg when he's wandering the streets and shows the girl the top?? When he finds Ekko???

You literally cannot fathom how wiggily this man makes me feel.

Also I think it's something about his history.

He's seen dangerous devices before. He's seen the rise and the fall of entire planets and populations. He's built a city from the ground up, only upon the idea of progress and the scientific method. He wishes for those around him to let their curiosity take hold and lead them to projects and places all around them.

He truly wishes that everyone has the chance to be a scientist, and he's such an oxymoron. He's a scientist who gets stuck in the ways of his past, and it's a battle that he fights throughout all of his screen-time during the show.

I love Heimerdinger so much <33

Also have you seen his mustache?

[ID: Heimerdinger looking just off to the right, his face contorted in anger with his two fists on a table that reaches up to his waist. END ID]

And finally, last but not least:

Caitlyn Kiramman

This one isn't as rooted in narrative drive as it is for how amazingly Caitlyn fits into the show as a main character simply through her dynamics with other characters alone.

I'm head over heels for her friendship with Jayce. I love the scene that they share in Happy Progress Day, I'm over the moon with the fact that for her investigation she lets Vi go, only to grow to love her as their narrative throws shit at them that they have to face together.

I love that through Caitlyn, we get to see the soft side of Vi come back, the protectivness, the love, and the bickering that comes with it is absolutely a delight. I swear the two of them could have a spin-off Nancy Drew-esc story and I would read it.

And the way that Jinx sees her as a threat? The way that when she sees Vi finding love and being able to cope with her trauma by moving forward, she thinks that there is only one place at Vi's side. That she thinks that Vi is betraying her?

You don't understand. I'm going feral.

I also think that Caitlyn's ambition to do what she loves no matter who tells her otherwise is simply proven wrong. For the girl will be an enforcer, she knows that she will. No one can stop her.

Also she and Vi may or may not be in love and I simply think that that is absolutely a relationship that I need in my life as sapphic (?) myself.

(Honorable mentions go to Viktor and Mel. You both deserve the world and I adore them to bits.)

My favorite things about the show:

Dude. Dude this show is so incredible writing-wise. It tells a compelling story, grappling with so many issues at once and somehow managing to do it all in a clear way. The representation is at it's peak, because these characters are not gay for extra points, they are not black to check off a box. They are deeply thought out characters with narrative arcs that bounce off their traits. They are not simply marketing ploys and it's refreshing. (godDAMN my standards are low)

Anyway the storytelling capabilities that this show pulls off with the dynamic characters bouncing off one another, a seamless timeskip, lore that pulls me in and fascinates me as a consumer, and themes that pique my interest makes it one of my favorite shows of all time.

The art style too. Gah!! I'm in love with the way that the characters' designs work, the way that the lighting is handled in different scenes, the painting look that the models take. It's such an amazing and most likely time-consuming animation style, but it turned into one of the most gorgeous-looking shows that I've ever seen.

And dude. dude. The. The the the. The soundtrack. The incredibly differing soundtrack that varies from song to song, depending on the mood that the show is trying to capture is OUGh. Snakes, Enemy? Such bops, would sprint to them anytime, 11/10.

Favorite scene?

*shaking uncontrollably* The fucking ending one. The last scene takes into account all of the factors that make Arcane such a special show as a whole, and it wraps 'em up in this nice little present for the show to end off on.

The way that Silco is killed like any other man, the way that betrayal bleeds into his eyes as he dies, acceptance in his words as Jinx cradles his head in her hands, apologizing profusely for what she's done.

The narrative parallel to the line "She's a loose canon" so much earlier in the show is a stab to the heart as you watch the light fade from his eyes.

The way that What Could Have Been plays hauntingly through the entire scene, the viewer's eyes dreading the way that it's about to end. And the way that the characters' expressions twist in different ways as the final missile blows into the council window, the way that Mel's figure is highlighted before it's hit.

There are many scenes that are incredible, but this one might be my up at one of my favorites of all time.

To get even more specific, the way that Caitlyn's slow motion sob turns into her mother's resigned face as she makes her vote--that part literally broke me.

I think that literally might be my favorite shot in the entire show.

Anyway, to summarize my incredibly long post of thoughts, Arcane is a cinematic masterpiece, and I wish I could go into more detail, but it's like 12am and my brain isn't really up to the task. Thank you so much for the ask, needless to say, I loved the show to bits <33

[botwstoriesandsuch]

I recently read Shades of blue after you rwcommended it and Oh My God was it worth it. That was beautiful and amazing and do you have any other recommendations?

✨MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED✨

AAAAAA I’m so glad you read it!!! Honestly I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me for recs for awhile because I have.........a few...

Miscellaneous ships here, not just Revalink but the first lot are

- Pinesong by @a-perplexing-puzzle D-Do I even need to explain myself more??? I talk about this fic every other day of the week..... it’s just great vibes....soft and fluffy and angsty just *chef’s kiss* two gay boys searching through their old memories to remember how gay they are 

- Shades of Blue by @unapologetically-asexual OK I know original anon just said they read this but for you idiots that haven’t read it yet....uhhhh get on that. Nothing I could say would really advertise this fic better than this post

- somebody’s always looking (nothing’s quite as sweet) by @kouzaires One of my FAV Coffee shop AU’s for botw....so sof......so tender...........so warrmmmmm.............they characters are written so well.....just love it...a lot

- Broken Spirits by @legendoftoad It’s just AAAAAAAAAA??!!? My boys are hurting and the malice for half of it is frickin doing things to my boy and then of course you got your PTSD themes meddled in there and hnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhghgh my hurt/comfort itch is sufficiently scratched go read

- Linger On by ICanFlyHigher [idk if they have a tumblr] Ok I actually haven’t finished this fic yet but it’s been recommended time and time again so I’ve been reading this in my spare time I’m on like Chapter 12 or 13 I think but I can say with CERTAINTY that the writing is fantastic and tender moments are off the charts and my boys are so precious and also the Yiga are actually cool in this so that’s nice

- Learning Flight by homewardbound This is just *chefs kiss* *standing ovation* *throws confetti in the air* quality quality Revalink. Just a delicious chocolate cake of botw and Revalink. You got your mysterious Revali waking up 105 years later batter, and your angsty PTSD gay boys duo chocolate chips, and then you can chuck in some engaging sideplot elements as a few tall tiers, and then the cake is all whipped up with the wooden spoon of subtextual writing just mmmm delicious. and ALSO I betaed a thing that is gonna happen and let me tell you shit is gonna happen like VERY IMPORTANT SUPER COOL plot twists be happening so you better read it 

- Conversations After The End Of The World by @bismuthllie Ok this one’s a oneshot but I always go back and read it because...idk it just strums my heart strings a lot...I’ve said Pinesong was my first big Revalink fic I’ce read, but this was like...my first, first piece of Revalink content I read ever so...yeah <3 ....and also the art for this comic is fantastic too even thought it gives me the emotions......hahaha ok Revali it’s time to stop being dead

- I See You Swimming In The Sky by @unavoidablekoishi OK OK I know my logic isn’t the best considering it’s the only Revali/Mipha fic I’ve read, but god dammit it’s the best Revpha fic I’ve ever read I still need to catch up cause I’m like 3 chapters behind but this fic CONVERTED me ok, miphvali went from a “huh yeah the art is nice I can kinda see it” to “THAT FISH IS SIMPING FOR THE BIRD 24/7 AND THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER″ This is some *claps* GOOD. SHIT. Ok? *slaps roof of fic* This bad boy can fit so much charming characterization and interaction (and also has made me scream both happily and not happily on several occasions)

- Guardian of The Wilds by @no-themes-just-memes in which I constantly miscall it “Guardian of the Wild” because I’m stupid This isn’t so much a ship fic but it’s so cool Link is a spirit, Urbosa and Zelda’s mom are a thing, Zelda is HERE and she is AMAZING like no spoilers but holy shit Zelda is here and slaying in more ways than one and riding Satori and hhnnnnhhhhhhhh it’s all about those ~plot twists~ and tone changes ya know? very very very nice...

- Firebird by @paellaplease Oh no, it’s Kip’s obligatory Firebird gush whoopsie poopsie who would have guessed surely not me. This is just my standard for Oc ship content now it’s so good I am gay for one fire girl Maiya is my spirit animal and I just wanna cup her in my hands softly even though I know she would probably burn me for it but it would totally be worth it. The writing is just superb and I am also gay for great imagery and action which this is chalk full of so go read it 

Ok it’s actually 2am right now and I still need to finish a bunch of AP work so I’m just gonna speed run the rest of these recs

@echogekkos writes such cute and soft Miphlink fics that are on my top tier list like this one and oh crap this post made me realize Healing Touch updated crap there are so many things I need to read and catch up on anyways want more miphlink angst? BOOM read the inspiration for eternity by Merakkli and oh what’s that? You want deep lore that was custom made with lots of hot ocs in a fic that spans way beyond BOTW welp here’s Hyrule Bound a universe entirely created by @themisadventurescrew which is yet another fic series that I am behind on crap but oh shit @kittmoon has started a chapter fic called Jaded Seas recently so you should go read that but also all of their oneshots are great as well so you should follow them and did I mention that everyone I’ve tagged are people you should follow because yeah anyhow here’s a crackfic about Goron children that had me shaking out of either fear or confusion for a few days by @angsttronaut ok moving on @thatsnotzelda writes beautifully just take a look at this angsty Revalink thing and also bambambambam you’ve been ambushed by @hatenostorms @going-fancognito @ashrel @lizards-writing-blog so now go request some from them because I said so they’re great also uhhh @idiotic-canadian and @moonchildrenn [Pins_and_Patches on ao3] hate happiness but that’s ok because I get to be emotionally wrecked by their angst and whump hurray! wait fUCK I completely forgot to rec this earlier but my first Zelpha fic was this gorgeous Coffeeshop AU by @theseventhsage called Dreaming of Coffee and Love so go read that *flipping through entire history of ao3* let’s see let’s see... All of the Rito Chronicles by  sturms_sun_shattered is great, and this Teba/Harth one is also a fav and oh CRAP my zelink content is just everything by @fatefulfaerie because it’s just *throws colorful streamers in the air* pretty and I love their writing welp I’m about to collapse lets just end it off with the z’s like @zzariyo and @zeawesomebirdie on ao3  they are some pretty radical french fries if i do say so myself and and ok ok read this other Zelpha coffee au which is also by @kouzaires and this Modern au also by @unavoidablekoishi ok that’s all I can remember right now bye 

[gaeilgeoirgay]

Naimhde

This is also part of Pósadh Eagraithe :The Series and I hope you like it! It’s from Han Solo’s POV when he first realises that 1. Boba’s alive and 2. Boba is married to Din meaning that 3. He can’t shoot Boba :(

Ao3 Link

Naimhde= Enemies

Look, Han Solo was having a good day. Emphasis on was. Ben had slept through the night again so Han got his full recommended hours of rest. Then Leia had had the morning off from the Senate so they had all gone to the park together. Luke was on planet for once with the green frog child so Ben was able to play with him. Leia had told him days ago that they were required to attend a ball that was being hosted to celebrate the Republic getting a treaty with Mandalore so he’d already gone through the seven stages of grief about that.

Now, he’s at said ball and across the room from him, Boba fucking Fett is smirking at him. Han snarls at the look the bastard has on his (apparently very scarred?) face but Leia puts a warning hand on his shoulder. “I know that’s Fett but he’s the leader of the Tatooine crime syndicate now, and rumour has it he’s taken over a couple more of the Hutt Space planets. He’s powerful, Han, and he probably hates us enough. No fighting.” She hisses into his ear.

Of course Boba Fett came out of a fucking sarlacc pit to become a godsdamned crime lord. He shouldn’t have been surprised. And he clearly has some sort of power in Mandalore because Mandalorians aren’t naturally deferential but they seem to treat Fett with an extra bit of respect.

A silver Mandalorian comes over to Fett and says something lowly to him. Fett nods and saunters over to Han and Leia with the other Mando striding ahead of him. “That’s the Mand’alor, their king. No one knows his name or species and he never takes his helmet off in front of non-Mandalorians. He signed the treaty as ‘Mand’alor the Reclaimer’ and his people adore him. He’s rumoured to be absolutely deadly, so once again, Han, I don’t care if he’s coming over with Boba Fett, behave.” Leia whispers and Han suppresses his urge to punt Fett into the nearest star.

Contrary to popular belief, Han is smart enough not to piss off the ruler of a warrior culture that are supposedly the greatest fighters in the galaxy. He got lucky with Fett the first time, he’s not making the man’s whole planet mad at him by fucking with their king.

Their pretty intimidating king, he’s not gonna lie. There’s a veritable armoury on the Mand’alor’s person and Han can see the familiar shape of a lightsaber hilt at his waist. Leia had mentioned something about a ‘Darksaber’ and Han does not want to find out the difference between a Darksaber and a lightsaber firsthand.

The Mand’alor inclines his head in a regal greeting as he halts in front of Leia. “Senator Organa, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person. Luke mentions you often.” He says in a low, smooth voice. Huh. Han is absolutely loyal to Leia but if the Mando king ever offers a threesome…..

Wait, how does Mando know Luke? Leia seems confused too but she hides it well. “The honour is all mine, Your Majesty. I wasn’t aware you were acquainted with my brother though?” She says politely, voicing the question in a much more eloquent manner than Han would’ve.

Mando chuckles and answers her with a smile in his voice. “Cuun ad, Grogu, is one of Luke’s students. He’s the small green one with an affinity for frogs.” He explains and Han raises an eyebrow. Luke had said that Grogu would never grow to be taller than maybe hip height but Mando is of fairly average height for a humanoid species. 5’10 or ’11 maybe.

Leia smiles brightly. “Yes, I do know Grogu. Luke mentioned his father was a Mandalorian. That would be you, then?” She says, relaxing slightly. Talking about children is a safe topic, even when Boba Fett is part of the conversation, and no, Han is not letting that go, he’s a Senator’s trophy husband, he’s mastered the art of polite glaring.

Fett speaks up then, still smirking. “Both of his fathers are Mandalorians. I adopted Grogu when the two of us said the riduurok.” He says, looking directly at Han as his brain freezes in its tracks.

Boba Fett is married? Boba Fett is married to the king of Mandalore? Boba Fett is a father?

None of that computes. Han Solo and Boba Fett are not supposed to have anything in common and Boba Fett is most certainly not supposed to be a regular human being with a spouse and kids and apparently a job, if being a crime lord counts as one. But clearly he is and Han is mad about it. It may be irrational but the bastard froze him in carbonite for three years and he’s gotten away with it. Whenever Han imagined Fett it was as a corpse being digested by a plant monster, not as a successful husband and father. Oh, Han is so mad.

Leia squeezes his hand a little tighter than necessary and Han grits his teeth. No fighting. He can do this. He really doesn’t want to do this. Chandrila’s sun is actually quite hot, he knows Beskar has a high melting point but he reckons it wouldn’t hold up against a star. He could just get in the Falcon, with Fett, and then space him beside the star. Boom, problem solved.

Leia is congratulating Fett and the Mand’alor on their marriage and subsequent child. To be completely honest with himself, Han may or not be considering telling Luke to get Grogu into therapy. Having Boba Fett as a father would definitely fuck a kid up.

He tunes back into the conversation as the Mand’alor answers Leia and immediately wishes he hadn’t. “Yes, children are the most important part of our culture. I adopted Grogu before we got together and I actually only met Boba a little while before Luke began teaching him. Boba always knew Grogu was part of the picture and honestly, the kid loves him. His second vow after the riddurok was a gai bal manda for Grogu.” Mando says, helmet tilted towards Fett. It’s probably the armoured equivalent of a sappy look and Han resists the urge to scowl.

He doesn’t know what a riderock or a gabblemanda is but it’s clearly important to Mandalorians and Fett is smiling broadly at his husband. Ugh.

“Oh, that’s incredibly sweet. How did you two meet?” Leia asks and Han screams internally. “When I first Found Grogu, my tribe took on the Hunter’s Guild so we could escape. I was trying to find more Mandalorians and I came across an areuttise on Tatooine who had Boba’s armour. I helped him take down a krayt dragon that was attacking his village and in exchange, he returned the armour to a mando’ad. Boba tracked me to Tython and said he would help me protect Grogu if I gave him back his armour. We were attacked by Dark Troopers and they took Grogu for Moff Gideon. Boba helped me get Grogu back and once he’d taken over Tatooine, he joined our efforts to reclaim Mandalore.” Mando explains and Leia smiles.

“That sounds romantic. The first time I met Han I threatened him.” Leia says anecdotally and Han shoots her a betrayed look. Fett is so going to use that against him somehow, Han just knows it. Instead, Fett just shakes his head and explains further. “Both of us are sol’karta, ‘aromantic’ in Basic. The Mand’alor’s council were concerned about finding a Rid’alor and I was suggested. I accepted, as the Mand’alor is one of my closest friends. I love him dearly but we’re not in love with each other. We’re best friends raising an adorably mischievous ad’ika.” He says and the Mand’alor nods.

Huh. Han can’t say he’s ever heard of an arranged marriage where both parties are friends from the start. He’s sure that some spouses end up as friends but politically arranged marriages in the Core tend to be loveless affairs. He almost finds himself congratulating them on finding a good balance but then he remembers he would be congratulating Fett. Nope, he’s not doing that.

“Oh really? Luke did mention that Grogu has a habit of disappearing on him.” Leia says and Fett laughs. “Yeah, his Force osik enables him a lot. I never realised how much of parenting was going to be coaxing a grumpy toddler off of a ceiling.” He jokes and ugh, Han can relate to that and he’s mad about it. Leia says something in response but Han is too busy glaring at Fett to hear her. The bastard is still smirking, plus he’s not even paying attention to Han, like Han is beneath his notice.

“I know you two have a son, right? If you’re ever on Manda’yaim for diplomacy, perhaps they can hang out together. I know when I was a child, I hated being in boring meetings and Grogu would definitely appreciate a friend.” Fett suggests and Han nearly explodes. Boba Fett’s hellspawn child is not going to corrupt Ben!

“Oh, Ben and Grogu met earlier today actually! Luke is on-planet at the moment and he brought Grogu with him when he heard that your people would be here.” Leia says and Mando’s helmet tilts. It probably means something in Mando Armour Language but Han has no clue what. “Is Luke still on Chandrila?” He asks, seeming curious. “Grogu is due to come home to Manda’yaim next week but if Luke is here, then I might ask if we can bring him home now to save Luke the trip.”

Leia smiles and tells Mando where to find Luke. Mando says his goodbyes and leaves, but Fett stays. They seem to have some form of communicating that Han can’t understand because Fett doesn’t seem confused at all by his husband’s departure without him.

Fett rocks back on his heels before levelling Han with a smug grin. “If you ever feel like going into Fett Space, drop by my palace on Tatooine. I love getting visits from old friends.” He says before bowing to Leia and leaving to follow Mando before Han can splutter a rebuttal. Fett Space! Is he serious?

Apparently he is, as the New Republic receives a missive a few days later, announcing Mandalore’s official recognition of the former Hutt territories as under Boba Fett, their Consort’s, unequivocal rule. It means that if the Republic ever aggravates Mandalore, they would essentially be going to war with the majority of the Outer Rim between Fett’s planets, Mandalore’s vassal planets and the seemingly endless planets that have allied themselves with Mandalore instead of the Republic.

Han isn’t too concerned about the political ramifications, seeing as that’s Leia’s remit and he’s mostly retired, but fuck, he’s mad that he can’t even think about dropkicking Fett into a star without inciting a galaxy-wide conflict. And the bastard knows it. Every time he comes to Republic events as either the Mand’alor’s spouse or as the leader of Fett Space, he acts like the perfect model of decorum so Han can’t even argue that he was provoked.

Han is forty-three, he shouldn’t be having aneurysms but every time he sees Fett his brain stops getting the message. The worst part is that Leia has become friends with the Mandalorian king and Ben is fond of the green child, so Han is forced to interact with Fett on a far too regular basis. Forget Fett, Han is considering launching himself into a star.

Sadly, Leia won’t let him. So Han has to put up with Fett for just a while longer. Speaking of, how old is Fett? Can Han get away with measuring coffins yet? Please say the bastard is at least ninety, he was around during the Clone Wars, there can’t be much left in him. Please, Han is going to lose his mind if he has to play nice with Boba Fett again. And again. And again.

(systems away, Boba’s ears go hot and he knows that Solo is plotting his death once more. Grogu coos and Boba looks down to see the womprat chewing on his pendant again. He chuckles and grabs something softer for Grogu to gnaw at. He has more important things to think about than Solo.)

[thedevildomdaily]

Demonic Possessions Chapter 7: Her Favorite Color

Note: Here’s the Master List for the full story. I recommend reading my stuff on my actual Blog if you enjoy OM! official music! Thank you so much for the support. Please let me hear from you in the comment section. I wanna talk OM!

Warnings: Swearing, NSFW (I told you I’d get to it soon lol)

“For the last time… I.DON’T. KNOW!!!”

It was another chaotic morning in the House of Lamentation. It was hard for Lucifer to believe that his home could become any more turbulent and disordered than it had been for the centuries that he and his younger brothers arrived in the Devildom. The arrival of the nephilim proved otherwise.

He sat at his seat in the dining room with his eyes closed, cup of coffee in hand; his posed as regal and reserved as usual, giving a false sense of calm. Lilly sat at his left, stealing a glance at him to see if he was going to do anything about the riot in progress in the attic.

The other residents looked up at the swinging chandelier, flinched at the occasional slamming of objects, and the slur of unbecoming language being exchanged between the eldest and youngest nephilim.

“I have a notion as to why their kind was expelled out of the Celestial Kingdom…” Satan said aloud as he took a bite of toast.”

Mammon scratched his head and looked at Asmodeus, “And why exactly are they try’n to kill each other this morning?”

“Oh!” The lustful demon chuckled, “It’s quite simple really. They are arguing over the color pallet of the room.”

“You’re tell’n me they are screaming over paint colors all mornin, wake’n me up so damn early!?” Mammon gritted his teeth.

“It’s kind of a big deal though…” Asmo explained, “The colors of your wall not only set the mood for the room, but also dictate the color of everything else in the room: curtains, comforters, accent pillows, rugs, the furniture itself...and then you have to consider the theme! Are you going modern, Victorian, futuristic? It’s actually a very serious situation. I remember when my bathroom was painted eggshell and not silverscreen! I was furious and nearly murdered my interior designer…”

Mammon stared at his younger brother, judging him for how serious he was about that incident. Lucifer had to intervene on the account that the designer in question was the royal designer in charge of the decor for social gatherings in the castle. Diavolo would’ve been upset if his designer was flayed to death.

When silence finally fell upon them, the brothers and Lilly sighed collectively before continuing the morning meal. Then entered Lena.

Mammon jumped at the door flying open near him. Satan, Belphegor, and Asmo laughed and teased their older brother’s reaction.

“Damn psychopath….” Lena muttered to herself with grit teeth as she pulled her chair back and sat down with extra force. She began to quickly grab at food, tossing it onto her plate, knowing she had to act fast before Beelzabub devoured everything.

The nephilim felt eyes upon her, but she didn’t address anyone at first. She just continued to get her food and began to eat.

With a mischievous grin, Amso was the first to break the silence, “Leee-nnnaaa...I missed snuggling with you last night…” He gave wink at her when she glanced in his direction. “Are you really okay with crashing on Lilly’s couch?”

“Not really, but it looks like I’ll be sleeping there for a while longer.” Lena stabbed into her scrambled eggs in anger, “Azriel has flooded my brain with so many decisions about colors and I’m about to scream…”

“And what was that a moment ago?” Mammon dared to ask.

A black aura formed around the nephilim and her eyes glared heavily at the second eldest demon, “A warning that apparently isn’t being heeded…” the greedy brother gulped and looked back down at his nearly empty plate.

“Seriously though, I’m so sorry. I’ve brought a lot of chaos into your home in the form of my brother…” her eyes raised to look at everyone and fell upon an indifferent Lucifer. “And sorry for waking everyone up so early this morning.”

“It’s okay...we’re totally used to this kinda of commotion...right guys?” Lilly responded, looking around to get others to join in.

“Oh um…” Leviathan’s face got red, “Y-yeah...usually it’s Mammon causing the Chaos...so this is really a nice change!”

Asmo and Satan chimed-in, agreeing with their older brother. Belphie yawned and nodded while Beel kept chowing down. It made Lilly calm down, glad her apology was accepted. Only Lucifer neglected to acknowledge or accept her apology. Well that and Mammon pouted at being picked on by everyone again.

************************************

Lena lingered in her last class of the day. She was looking at her phone, researching color options for her room. She promised her brother that she would reach a decision by the time she got back home to the House of Lamentation.

Not paying attention to where she was walking, the nephilim bumped into what felt like a brick wall. She quickly stumbled back and looked up. It was Lord Diavolo, accompanied by his stewart, Barbatos. Was everyone over a foot taller than her? No, the angel baby wasn’t.

“S-sorry Lord Diavolo!” Lena said with a clear look of embarrassment across her face. There was something about the prince that made her feel timid and jittery. Definitely unable to look him directly in the eye. It was so unlike her. “I should’ve paid more attention to where I’m going and not at my DDD…”

“It’s quite alright. The halls are empty now so the percentage of you walking into someone was extremely low…” he responded with a chuckle in his voice. He was always smiling and in good spirits. He also had this knowing expression in his eyes. Yeah, that’s what had her frazzled. His expression...and not those broad shoulders or the muscles that peaked through his school uniform shirt. Not his massive size and confident aura...and now she was staring at his tie.

“Miss Lena...are you okay?” he asked, seeing how she was spacing-out while glancing up at him.

“Oh uhm, I...I was just deep in thought about...COLOR CHOICES! Yes, color choices. I have no idea what to pick and I can’t go back to the House of Lamentation until I have or my brother will go off again…”

Diavolo chuckled and exchanged looks with Barbatos. The prince’s stewart gave Lena a very calming smile and asked, “If you don’t mind, may we see the colors you're considering? We could give you our opinion.”

Lena regained some of her composure and turned her DDD so the two powerful demons could take a look. “See, Azriel went overboard as usual. Now I know the difference between 99% of these colors; the tones lean to one side or another and the values vary going this way...I love color theory as an artist myself so it’s a really hard decision for either of us to decide on.”

Giving it a serious thought, Lord Diavolo took the nephilim’s phone to hold it closer. His large hand overlapped Lena’s, causing a deep crimson to spread across her normally snow white complexion. If he noticed, the prince didn’t give an indication. Barbatos smiled as usual and used his fist to cough slightly, catching his Master’s attention.

Looking back down at the blushing nephilim who’s arm was raised high at him and then to Barbatos, the demon prince chuckled and lowered his hand and gave an apology. “Well I’m not so versed in color theory, but these group of colors here really catch my attention. What do you think Barbatos?”

“A splendid choice.” he agreed, “And you might consider using these colors as accents once the room has been painted…”

“Barbatos is in charge of all decorating in the castle. His tastes are superb and he’s never let me down when setting up for events.” the prince boasted.

Lena thanked them both after looking at the colors they selected. “You guys are onto something with these. Thank you guys so much! I was afraid I might have to just camp out here tonight!” she chuckled.

“What are they onto?” A sudden voice boomed from the shadowy hallway behind the prince. Suddenly Lucifer came into view. He looked down at Lena with a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

“Oh Luci! We just helped narrow down some color choices for Lena’s room. We heard it’s been rather interesting at The House of Lamentation in the mornings over this…” Diavolo chuckled. His voice was deep and boisterous. Lena could drink in that deep laughter for eternity she thought to herself.

“My Lord, if you have time to pick Lena’s colors, then you have time to go over those documents I sent you….” the demon scolded. “Lena, you are without your escort so I will accompany you home now.” Lena had sent Levi away since he was in a rush to pick up an order of “great importance” from Akuzon before Mammon could get to it.

“Haha, looks like I’ve been caught by Luci!” Diavolo responded, scratching the back of his head. We better return to the student council room before we get in trouble Barbatos.”

“Thank you both again.” Lena chimed. She followed after Lucifer, but looked back at the two, mouthing the words “I’m sorry” to them both. The demons both gave her a smile and Diavolo waved at her before heading back in the opposite direction.

********************

Lena and Lucifer walked home in silence for the most part. It felt both tense and awkward for the nephilim. The demon was a man of few words it seemed and she didn’t know how to communicate with him. It bothered her, but he didn’t understand why.

“So uh…” she began, looking down at the ground

“Yes?” he responded, with almost slight irritation in his voice, “What is it you want to say?”

“Well, this morning...I apologized for mine and my brother’s behavior and disruption of your morning.”

Lucifer waited a moment for her to continue, but when Lena didn’t, he let out a sigh, “Are you worried by my lack of direct response to your apology Miss Lena?”

The way he asked that rubbed Lena the wrong way; there was a smugness in his voice that reminded her of the Council of Elders the Van Helsing’s worked with. They always treated her poorly because of not only her mixed race, but her gender as well.

“I wouldn’t say ‘worried’ per say..” she responded with her own level of annoyance in her voice, “I just think it’s rather rude. If someone goes out of their way to apologize for something, especially before anyone comments on it, it warrants a response.”

“And was my silence over the matter not a response in itself Miss Lena?” The eldest demon brother didn’t even look at her once as he spoke. It was becoming more infuriating and she could see why Satan and Belphegor were always talking about pranking him. She’d have to get in on it sometimes. Give them more daring options to annoy the hell out of this pompous ass.

“I guess it was a response. But maybe it could give an undesired translation…” she hesitated with a cocked eyebrow. Lucifer didn’t comment, but she caught him giving a slight glare in her direction. “I might take that silence as indifference to how much noise I may make in the morning. It may lead to me thinking that it’s okay to blast my metal….no dubstep music in the mornings while i do my workout routine before showering.”

There was a moment of silence as they approached The House of Lamentation’s front gates. Then Lucifer gave the most ominous chuckle that Lena had ever heard. It was the complete opposite of Lord Diavolo’s. “Was that a threat Miss Lena?” he asked rhetorically, “You really think I’d let you ‘blast’ that sort of abominable form of music before sunrise in my home?” He finally fully turned to look down at her with that intimidating expression.

Lena looked right back at him with the same expression. It was like a contest of wills and all she could think of was that this demon was nothing more than a pretentious asshole. And the way he looked down at her, both literally and metaphorically, made her want to stomp his foot.

“What are you two doing?” a sudden voice behind them called.

It was Beelzabub with a couple sacks of burgers in hand, with a single burger hanging from his mouth.

“Nothing.” Lucifer glared at his youngest brother. “And why are you eating all of that? It’s Satan’s turn to cook tonight.” He paused for a moment and shook his head before going on by himself into the house.

Both Lena and Beel just stood and watched him leave. “Your brother can be a real piece of work, ya know that Beel?” He blinked back in response for a moment.

“I don’t know what you two were talking about, but Lucifer doesn’t talk a whole bunch unless he’s scolding or directing us…”

“Ah, he’s a Mr. Bossy Pants type. I guess it’s in the name though, right? Avatar of Pride. He’s probably never admitted to be wrong about anything has he? She asked, walking slowly with the redheaded demon.

Beelzabub thought long and hard about it for a moment, “I guess not. I’m not sure he’s ever been wrong about anything...except with his actions towards Be- oh, nevermind that. It’s in the past.”

Lena put his response in a pocket in the back of her mind. Having a little insight on the head demon in charge that even manages to boss Lord Diavolo around is nice.

*****************************

“There you are! I tried to ask Levi where you were but he grabbed his Akuzon package bolted to his room.” Lilly shouted when Lena and Beelzebub entered the house.

Lena chuckled and explained what happened up until this point. This caused Lilly to sigh and shake her head. “Sounds like Lucifer alright. He’s just hard to read, but don’t take his comments or silence for that matter personally. It’s just how he is. You’ll get used to it after awhile. And who knows, he might start talking in multiple sentences after getting to know you better.”

“Ha! That’s assuming he’d ever want to get to know me. I can tell he’s just under obligation to all me to stay here. He’d toss me out given the first chance he got. It makes me even more happy to have Lord Diavolo in my corner…” Lena couldn’t hold back her dreamy sigh, which caused the human to chuckle. Yeah it was pretty damn obvious what the nephilim was thinking about.

*************

Both Lilly and Asmodeus accompanied Lena up to the attic to see what her brothers had accomplished. Apparently Zak had given up on his plans to assist in keeping his siblings from causing too much trouble. It was a full time job he truly wished he got paid for.

Asmo had attached himself to Lena, always holding her hand or wrapped his arms around her like she was a stuffed animal. She didn’t mind it. He was a super clingy, affectionate type. And he smelled absolutely amazing.

“My dear brothers,” she began, “I have returned, as promised, with my final decisions for the colors we’ll be working with.”

Asmo looked down, over her shoulder at the pallet, but not before glancing at her cleavage and giving a sneaky little grin. “Oh my, Leeee-na! I adore these colors!”

“Thanks! I couldn’t have made my decision without Lord Diavolo or Barbatos. They both have great taste…” Lena gushed. Lilly and Asmo looked at each other and giggled at their friend’s response.

Azriel, in a comedic dash, ran to his sister and took the DDD from her. His eyes widened as he studied her choices carefully. “Lena….who picked these?”

“Uh, oh that would be Barbatos. He’s quite talented isn’t he?” Lena nodded. She could tell her brother was impressed. He had that glint in his eye that was a combination of joy and admiration only an artist could have. “They told me he choses all of the designs for the Academy and the castle…”

“I will have to pick his brain when opportunity knocks...he does show a refine taste for style and harmonization of colors. And he was a genius with the values he suggested for the accents.”

Zak looked at their sister and chuckled, “Barbatos better watch out. Someone may have a Stan on their case..” Lena laughed and nodded. It was very seldom that their big brother complimented someone else’s tastes. Azriel could sometimes be even more of a snob than Lucifer.

“All the teasing aside, I’d definitely like to thank them for their assistance. And with the colors selected, do we officially have a game plan ready for this remodel now?” The female nephilim asked.

Azriel nodded, “Yes! Let’s get to work, people! We’ve got a job to do!”

Zak and Azriel were going to stay in the attic to work on the necessary repairs needed before any painting could be done. Asmo and Lilly volunteered to take Lena shopping for the paints. This was for the best so Azriel wouldn’t go into another shopping frenzy.

****************

When the trio returned home, everyone had already ate dinner and were going about their own business as usual. Asmo had texted Satan ahead to let him know that he and the girls were going to grab a bite from Hell’s Kitchen while they were out so he wouldn’t have to fend off Beel on their account.

They delivered the buckets of paint and needed supplies for Lena’s brothers to get started. “Don’t stay up working on this too late please. Get your beauty rest big brother… and you too Zak.” The masculine brother chuckled and joked about it some before resuming the work being done on the ceiling.

“And thank you both for taking me to the store and out for dinner.” Lena pulled Lilly and Asmo in a little hug before letting them go. Asmo held onto her a bit longer, being his clingy, flirty self.

“And what do I get for helping you today, hmmm?” he practically whispered it into her hear, purposely grazing his soft lips against the shell of her ear. He discovered that was one of the little nephilim’s weaknesses.

Lips suddenly pressed against his cheek, causing an instant rosiness. “How about that kiss?” she chuckled. Lilly just watched the two flirt and shook her head with a smile.

“Careful, he will be relentless with you now.” The human headed to Mammon’s room to hang with her bro, or to pester him at the very least.

“Maybe I want a little more than just a kiss Leee-na…” Asmo continued, pulling her into a full hug. Her right arm hugged his waist, but her other held a bag in it. “I did manual labor for you today…”

Lena smirked back, enjoying all the flirtation they shared. It was nice to be sought after, especially after an intense breakup she went through recently. “Well, I suppose I could give you a bit...more…” she teased him and used a bit of her nephilim strength to push the Avatar of Lust against the wall by his bedroom door. She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a direct kiss on the mouth, teasing him with the slightest moan, and sucking his bottom lip as she slowly pulled away. “And that’s all you get...for now my lovely.”

As she pulled away, Asmo let out a whimper. Not because he was weak to her, but because he was holding back his desires and his demonic urges. He really wanted to know what it was to fully experience a nephilim. “You’re so mean Leeee-na….” he pouted.

“I get that a lot.” she chuckled in response, “I do need to make a delivery before I get ready to crash for the night. I know my brothers won’t be letting me sleep in tomorrow.”

*****************

After a plethora of flirtations and teasing, Asmo finally retreated to his room. Lena smiled, biting her bottom lip as she walked away from the intense temptations he urged her with.

No, the nephilim had other plans that evening. In the bag she held onto was a gift for her guide and fellow nerd. She walked to Leviathan’s door and knocked. Of course there was an immedite request for a passphrase. “Leviiii..it’s me, Lena. you know I have no idea about Devildom Anime or manga yet. That’s why I’m here..”

There was a long pause before Leviathan opened his door. He hesitated before peeking around to make sure Lena was alone. He then slipped back into his room. Since the door didn’t shut in her face, she assumed she had permission to enter.

“So, you’ve returned from your filler quest for 6 buckets of paint, 10 paint brushes, and bonus loot?” The Avatar of Envy asked. It made Lena smile widely, understanding the typical MMORPG quest type he referred.

“That I have. And I’ve returned with my selected rare items of choice.” Lena held up and wiggled a bag before Leviathan. “I, alas, am not the required class for this prize. However, I did know a party member that is.”

Lena handed him the bag. Leviathan was at first reluctant to take it; his eyes peeked through his bangs at her for a moment before looking inside at these ‘rare items’. He acknowledged her reference. She was no mere normie after all. And when he realize what she was giving him, his face lit up like the Beacons of Gondor!

“OOOOMMMMDDDDD!!!! LENA!” he shouted, quickly removing the gatcha figurines from the bag. “Are you seriously giving these to me?! No way! This must be a sick joke…” he was almost in tears.

They were the other two ultra rare gacha figurines that would now complete the rare collector’s set he had been trying to get for the last two months. Lena remembered how excited he was when she got one of them by pure luck the other night and wanted to try for him while she was out tonight.

Apparently she did good. Lilly and Asmo had picked their seat and placed the orders for the table while she try-hard-moded at the gacha machine until she got the prizes she wanted. She’d accumulated a small audience of young demon children, giving them the prizes she didn’t want. It was quite the scene.

“So, did I get the right ones?” she asked hesitantly. She’d not oblige him with the details of how much grimm she spent getting those for him. She just wanted to thank him for being a great tour guide and opening up to her a bit more at a time.

Leviathan nodded, holding them, and trying not to cry. “ARIGATO!” he yelled and began to carefully remove each figure from their boxes. He already had the others on display with two empty figure stands awaiting these last two models.

He stood back in admiration. “There’s nothing like completing a full set..” he said aloud. He was unaware that Lena stood close to him on his left. He was in complete otaku bliss.

“Right...the full set. I’m so happy I could help.” she replied, causing Levi to let out a small yelp and go completely red from head to toe. “Hey, come back!”

He’d took a large step away from her and she moved in his direction. “Why are you avoiding me now? Do I smell like paint that bad?” Lena sniffed at her shoulder.

“N-n-n-o! You smell like rose and peonies and human sunshine…” Levi blurted. It made Lena blink and then smile, covering her mouth. “I-I just have major personal space issues, ok. I don’t get close to anyone, especially 3D females..i'll stick with my 2D waifus...I-”

He stopped talking, getting more embarrassed at admitting that to the female nephilim slowly approaching him. He felt like he would be betraying ruri-chan if getting any closer to Lena that what he already was.

“Do you not like...3D females?” Lena asked, taking a step towards him. It was a legitimate question to her. She’d leave him alone if he answered that he didn’t. But there was no response.

The statement Lucifer made earlier came to mind, “...my silence over the matter is not a response in itself…” Lena’s brows raised and she got it.

“It’s not that you don’t like 3D females...it’s that you’ve never gotten to be near them, right?”

“I-I guess so. I mean, why would anyone want to get close to a shut-in otaku nerd like me?” He responded, squinting his eyes shut.

Lena, however, furrowed his eyebrows, “Oh I dunno. Could it be because that shut-in otaku is really attractive, smart, hilarious when commentating on his brother’s antics, and really passionate and enthusiastic about what he likes?” she did not like it when people talked bad about themselves. She was the type of person to say ‘no, you are amazing af and here’s why!’

Hearing those compliments, Leviathan was shocked. Daring to open his eyes, the demon was face to face with the nephilim. Or as face-to-face as one could be with such a height difference. His body remained red and he couldn’t take his eyes away from hers.

“Leviathan, you have made me feel more at ease than anyone else in the Devildom. And it’s been wonderful getting to share my nerdy side with someone without judgement. Even when it’s playful, it can take its toll. I know that all too well.” Her hand reached for his. He flinched, but allowed her to take it.

“But I am a no good, dirty otaku that blows all of money on-”

“No! I don’t want to hear it Mr. And look who you’re talking to! I have a room back home, larger than your foyer with my collection of stuff. And did you see how much my brother and I spent on clothes. Pl-lease! You’re not the only nerd or over-spender. And tonight, I spent all my grimm on that gacha game without batting an eyelash. I-”

Oops. she spilled the beans on that one. She felt him return a solid grip on her hand. “You spent all of your grimm on the gacha...and gave it to me?”

Lena found herself looking away for a moment, “I mean, yeah. You’ve tried for 2 months to get that collection, and I had a natural talent for it...so I thought what the hell! Let’s complete that set.” She chuckled for a moment, looking at the bewildered demon. Who knew they could make such an expression. Or have such self-doubt.

Finding herself staring at Leviathan, Lena’s eyes left his own and focused in on his lips. He bit on his bottom lip nervously. “You seemed to gloss over my compliment of how attractive you are as well…” At that he shrinked more.

“N-no I’m not. Look at my hair…” he argued.

“You’re hair color is literally my favorite color...you’ll see soon.” The comment puzzled him just enough to lift his guard in time for Lena to kiss him on the lips.

“Wwwmmmgh!” Levi wanted to do his typical scream, but found himself in almost a daze as the nephilim stole his breath. She. just. KISSED. Him. Leviathan.

There were a couple of small kisses that followed, all leaving Leviathan speechless. Lena let go of his hand, observing his response. She wasn’t sure if a demon could go catatonic or not, but Leviathan was proving it to be possible.

“L-Levi….?” she whispered gently.

“Mmmmh-hmmm….” he squeaked.

“Are you okay?”

“Mmmmh-hmmm….” he squeaked again.

“Did you...like it?” Lena asked, finding herself feeling a little less confident in the moment. She’d never had this sort of reaction before. Did demons like kissing? Asmo was the Avatar of Lust, so maybe he was an exception?

Finally there was another “Mmmmh-hmmm” response. Leviathan did like the series of small kisses. He REALLY liked them. He was just so shocked that a beautiful, 3D female actually did that.

This response made Lena smile with relief and excitement. Not thinking, she hugged him, placing her head in his chest. “Oh, I’m so glad. I thought you were appalled by that. I-”

She paused, hearing the sound of a freight train within the demon’s chest. That proved A. Demons in fact had hearts and B. They could beat insanely fast under the right circumstances. And those circumstances at the moment included kissing, hugging, pretty much any direct physical contact. Oh yeah, and her large chest pressing against him. Leviathan was probably about to die any moment now.

“Le-Lena…” he whispered awkwardly, “L-let go..please…”

“Uhm, sure. Sorry…” She pulled away. She didn’t realize she had him pressed against his closet door with no room to move.

Leviathan took a deep breath and went to sit in his computer chair. She watched him silently stare into nothingness for a moment and eventually went to take a seat on the side of his bathtub bed.

Before she made it over there, the demon reached and grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. It was a firm grip at first but he instantly loosened it up. He was all sorts of nervous and she found it completely endearing.

“That was...amazing.’ He finally said, “I’ve never…...that was amazing…” He was trying to communicate his feelings despite all of his embarrassment.

“It was...your lips are incredibly soft…” Lena chuckled.

He peeked up at her, almost irritated like it was an insult instead of a compliment.

She sensed that and quickly continued, “It makes me want to do it again...and again…” She bit her own, looking down at him. She knew that he was clearly super sensitive, which she could work with. He was so cute and she met every compliment she gave him before.

“Do you want to kiss me….more? For real?” Leviathan hesitantly asked. He knew he wanted to kiss her. A lot. It was just so hard to imagine she would do such a thing with him. Maybe it was a spur of the moment and she wasn’t thinking when she did it. Was it an attempt to make him feel better. Surely she couldn’t have any feelings for him.

“Absolutely, Levi-kun…” she replied in a sweet, yet seductive tone. She realized during this silence he was overthinking things.She stepped closer, then sat down on the demon’s lap.

Instantly he squirmed, never imagining something like this would happen to him in a millenia. A beautiful 3D, real creature sat in his...LAP!

“I want to kiss you a lot...and maybe do...this and that…” She whispered into his ear, similarly to how Asmo did to her before. She knew he’d get that typical manga line.

“Th-th-th-th-this a-a-and THAT!!!?” he shouted.

Lena chuckled and placed a finger over his lip to quiet him down. “We can start with kissing for now Levi. I just want to make sure you’re consenting and really want to...I’m not pressuring you at all…”

“P-pressure? No pressure!” Levi responded, staring at her. He was distracted about, well, everything: The feeling of a person in his lap. He really had to keep calm about that. The feeling of her chest against his again. “I...just..this is..”

“...New?” she finished for him. He nodded rapidly. “Well then, if that’s the case, I’ll just help you get used to it.” Lena leaned against him and planted a kiss on his cheek and then on the mouth. The demon almost threw her onto the floor, surprised by the sudden kiss again. It was hard for her to keep from giggling at his reactions. She enjoyed them a little too much.

The two of them continued to practice getting used to the kissing and touching the rest of the night. She wasn’t sure if he was a complete virgin or just out of touch since they age so slowly. She would never dream of asking him directly and decided to take it slow on him.

[the-red-rainy-perytons]

If you guys are ever confused about something I'm into, reading, or watching, and have questions, please hecking ask. I know you might feel awkward about it, but please. I would love to answer your questions about my fandoms, no matter how weird

What's the plot of dsmp? I have no clue what happens in there

You're going to wish you hadn't asked but ok

It's kind of a lot but I'll do my best. Also it's still in the works, so technically any of this could change on a dime but

/rp (black font from here on out so I don't absolutely destroy your eyes)

Season 1:

So it starts off relatively normal for an SMP, with the Dream Team and some of their cohorts messing around. Then Tommyinnit and Wilbur Soot show up and start making drugs (potions) in a van.

Drug van -> drug empire. Drug empire -> country.

Dream doesn't like this, and the members of the newly formed L'Manburg (Tommy, Wilbur, Eret, and Fundy) go to war against those who are still technically with Dream or haven't split off and made their own faction (also known as the Greater Dream SMP). At the end, Eret betrays them. ("It was never meant to be" #1) They lose, but reparations are made and L'Manburg gets independence. Wilbur becomes president of L'Manburg, Tommy his vice. Eret becomes king of the Greater Dream SMP. Niki joins L'Manburg, completing its major members.

Commence Election Arc.

Wilbur decides to hold an election to make his government look more legitimate considering he kind of just claimed leadership. Naturally he tries to rig it and become the only candidate. Wilbur takes on Tommy as his running mate, forming the campaign POG2020.

(Note: MatPat made a Game Theory video on this section. While it misses about 75% of the plot and side characters, it's a good overview of this arc and the mechanics of the server in general. The theory is also wrong.)

Quackity challenges Wilbur, and runs another campaign with GeorgeNotFound as his partner, making SWAG2020. COCONUT2020 (Niki and Fundy) is also a thing that exists. No one votes for them.

JSchlatt joins the server under the guise of a political endorsement for POG2020, but promptly decides to make his own campaign (SCHLATT2020).

There's some drama afterwards, but the gist is that Quackity and Schlatt team up and combine their votes in the final election. (George was sleeping.) With their combined votes, SCHLATT2020 wins, making Schlatt the president, Tubbo (Tommy's best friend and Secretary of State under the Soot Administration) the new vice president. Quackity becomes the Secretary of State.

At his inauguration, Schlatt exiles Wilbur and Tommy (the "My first decree" speech). The two create a secret base outside the border (Pogtopia), Tubbo spies for them on the inside, and Technoblade, a violent anarchist, joins the server and sides with them. This is also the opening of Wilbur's insanity arc (aka the Vilbur arc).

Schlatt holds a festival, and Tubbo plans it. Wilbur puts TNT (TNT he got from Dream, I might add) under the podium and hooks it up to a button in the mountain, planning to press it and detonate about half the country after Tubbo gives his speech. Of course, things go south.

Techno is invited to the festival, while Wilbur and Tommy are not. After Tubbo's speech, Schlatt exposes Tubbo as a spy and orders Techno to execute him. Techno does so (the death system is weird here, and every character has 3 canon, or plot-important, deaths before they die die). And Techno being Techno, he kills everyone else attending as well. Wilbur can't actually find the button so no boom.

There's more tea and arguing but the next big event is 11/16/2020. By now quite a few people have sided with Pogtopia because no one really likes Schlatt as leader, and they decide to go to war, all in, everybody. (These are the events of SAD-ist's Dawn of 16th animation if you're curious)

Chaos ensues, lots of pvp, Schlatt dies of a heart attack for good (yes that's what happens) and Tubbo is inaugurated as the new president.

But wait. You just inaugurated a new president in front of an exceptionally violent anarchist. An anarchist who just so happens to have been the major supplier for the war you just won. Maybe that wasn't a good idea.

Anyways Wilbur finds the button, has a great monologue ("It was never meant to be" #2, and I do recommend checking this one out because the guy knows how to act.) (There's also another animatic by The Channel Without A Name that shows this scene, called Never Meant to Be) Philza Minecraft shows up for it. Wilbur presses the button, big boom, and asks, nay, begs Phil to kill him. Phil does. So now Wilbur's dead for good too. Phil is also Wilbur's dad in SMP canon.

Wow

Indeed. The timing on this bit is a little fuzzy, and most animators take some liberty with it considering there's only about 5 minutes difference between the button press and the following events.

L'Manburg blows, and Techno begins the Theseus/So You Want to Be a Hero monologue. He finishes and spawns two withers into the ruins, completing the major events of Season 1.

Afterwards, Techno leaves to retire with Phil (his old friend), Pogtopia is annexed, and Tommy goes back to L'Manburg.

Season 1 is the most concise and cinematic in my opinion. I skipped the opening of The Disc Saga, which doesn't become super important to the core plot until Season 2, but just know that it was happening in the background, and influenced some of the events (one of the main factors in the revolution, the reason Tubbo became the 3rd president instead of Tommy)

Do you actually want to hear about Season 2 or will I just be tacking on more to a very long post

I'mma be real w ya my brain is fried

That's fair

Another time

[pridewon]

(misc. romance headcanons; very mild ns.fw under the cut) because i refuse to reblog memes until i empty my inbox so have this while i ride out the booster B) (needless to say, those are timeskip- and post-timeskip focused, especially the ns.fw ones!) (just in case someone was mad enough to have doubts)

sfw

- Yamagu.chi clings to his partner in his sleep when they happen to share the same bed.  He is a relatively heavy sleeper, so his partner is not at risk of waking him up by moving around; he does, however, have a very tight grip, which may make attempts at prying themselves free a bit more difficult than initially planned.  - Atsu.mu is not good at PDA. As clingy, needy and affectionate as he can be in private, in public, it’s a different matter entirely. The most he will do will be to hold his partner’s hand, or hold onto the hem of their sleeve/top in a crowd so as to not lose them. He is quite protective of his relationships, and if his partner is more into PDA than he is, it will take them some work to convince him to relax and be a little more demonstrative outside private spheres. - Tom.as is the exact opposite, which is not easy when living in Japan! It always amazes him how seldom he sees couples kissing, hugging, or even holding hands on the street - when obviously, back in Europe, it is common occurence. - Iwaizu.mi short circuits (in a good way) (I promise) if his significant other shows him any kind of affection without warning. Blushing, mumbling, the whole schtick - and denying that it made his heart go boom. The denial stage is very important. - Bok.uto, on the other hand and completely unsurprisingly, beams and returns it tenfold. His partner can also expect to be complimented all the time, always (returning said compliments will make him very happy, but is not a pre-requisite. But it would make him very happy). - Daichi, Ushi.jima, Tom.as and Bok.uto are the best huggers of the bunch. 10/10 would recommend.  - Best kisser? Well, wouldn’t you like to know 8) - (I don’t know, I have to think about it)

ns.fw

- A Jack of all trades through and through, Kono.ha is adventurous in the bedroom, and while his own preferences may not be all that original, he is always game for trying new things with his partner. He’ll try (almost) anything once - both to make his partner happy if they have a specific fantasy he can help fulfill, and out of personal curiosity, because hey, you only live once.  - Ushi.jima’s absence of filter is notorious, but the topic of sexuality and intimacy is always one he dreads at the beginning of a relationship. While not being really familiar with the term asexuality, he is aware that sex is not something he is particularly drawn to, and that it has caused issues in past relationships - previous partners not understanding that he has no trouble engaging in sexual intimacy for the sake of his partner or at their suggestion, but that he will seldom, if ever, be the one initiating it, regardless of how in love he is.  - Ats.umu tends to start relationships on a physical level. He is more accustomed to one-night stands and short affairs that start off as such; and even serious relationships tend to start as something physical, and progressively evolve into something more (Chiyo bby you’re an exception B)). Even if he already has romantic inclinations towards someone, he prefers to find a way of connecting physically before venturing into admitting feelings or trying to actually build something more long-term.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms Far Side #3: Kohaku

Today on Fate and Phantasms we have another bonus episode for you! We’re building Kohaku, the ever-energetic maid who comes packing with probably helpful medicine and the occasional robot. As usual for far sides, everything below this point come directly from Magical-Biche on Reddit!

Check out Kohaku’s build breakdown below, or her character sheet over here!

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Hey, it’s me, the guy who builds Tsukihime builds! Since the remake got announced uhh… already a month ago, I figured it’d be perfect time to free some time in my heavy schedule for a Tsukihime waifu once in a while. For the return of this highly anticipated series, we’ll take a look at a character which has plenty of tricks up her sleeves: Kohaku. A fan favorite for several reasons, she was quite easy to build due to how weirdly some of her core mechanics are already featured in Dungeons & Dragons. I’m mostly using her Melty Blood skill set for the build, but as soon as I can introduce skills we know from the Visual Novels. Needless to say, the whole build is a huge spoiler for what Kohaku does throughout the games, and you may not want to read it if you didn’t finish Tsukihime and Kagetsu Tohya.

Race and Background

Kohaku is a variant human. She technically has a bit of psychic powers, but they are passive and absolutely nothing any race can give comes close to it, so we’re going human here. The variant allows us to get + 1 in constitution and +1 in intelligence, and the chef feat, giving us another +1 in constitution, and the ability to cook delicious meals with or without suspicious substances, which adds a layer of healing and temporary hit points on our already impressive healing abilities. It gives us our first of many tool proficiencies, the cooking utensils. We also get a proficiency in insight, which helps us determine whether people are worth teasing/throwing into a bottomless trap. 

Next, we are going to be an Izzet engineer. Those folk, who come directly from Ravnica, fit our mad scientist personality perfectly. Being an Izzet engineer gives us access to the Urban Infrastructure ability, which helps building more complex traps (and find them, if we ever feel like being nice to our group), and proficiencies in Arcana and Investigation, two extremely useful intelligence skills. We also get our second tool proficiency. We’re taking carpenter’s tools, to create the most intricate traps there are. Bottomless pits won’t build themselves from the ground up. We also get one set of artisan’s tools of our choice, so we’ll take Alchemist supplies, since they’re the costliest of the bunch and extremely useful. Don’t worry, we’re getting the proficiency in a little bit. Finally, we get the pretty unique feature of having access to more spells: Izzet guild spells. The notable ones (the ones we don’t normally get from our class) are Chaos bolt, Create or destroy water, Unseen servant (level 1 spells), and Call lightning, and Otiluke’s resilient sphere (third level spells). Since it is a Ravnica background, the DM might ban the expanded spell list, but none of these spells are necessary to our build, anyway. 

Ability Scores

We are a genius, and a bit of a melee combatant. We’re pumping everything in intelligence. Next, we need high constitution and dexterity, which will also serve to multiclass into rogue. We are pretty average when it comes to wisdom and charisma (I do admit we are pretty cute, though). We’re dumping strength, even though it means we won’t be able to fight well with our broom, but it’s a necessary sacrifice. Our hidden katana (read: dagger) will work just as well. 

Class Levels

Artificer 1: We are a crafty inventor. Being an artificer only makes sense to us. The first level of artificer gives us proficiency with constitution saving throws, great to keep our concentration on spells and avoiding nasty poison effect, and intelligence saving throws: we’re the one who make fools of others, and not the other way around! We can also choose two new proficiencies, and we’re taking medicine, since we’re actually a pretty skilled doctor, and sleight of hand, as we will need to tinker complex traps and unlock a few locks from time to time. 

We also get proficiencies with light and medium armors, but we’re only ever going to use light armor. Kohaku doesn’t really wear armor, but she could be wearing several thick layers of kimono, which can probably stop a blade in a pinch. We’re also proficient with shields, and Kohaku definitely never wears a shield throughout the Tsukihime timeline, so we won’t be using them.  We’re also proficient with simple weapons, and those are the only weapons we’re having access to, so we have to do with them. We’ll be mainly using the dagger as our “secret blade”, and our quarterstaff as a substitute for our broom. Finally, we’re proficient with thieves’ tools, useful for disarming traps that may or may not have been installed by us, tinker’s tools, our bread-and-butter for repairing all sort of stuff, from traps to weapons, and alchemist supplies, to further our healing capabilities, and it blends well with our medicine proficiency. 

We finally get to our core features. First level of artificer gives us Magical tinkering, which lets us do pretty nice things. We can basically sleep on prestidigitation, light, message, and minor illusion thanks to this feature. It doesn’t do as much as each of these individual spells, but it does it differently, and it’s still great to have so much utility here. We also get our Spellcasting. We’re a half caster with druid/cleric like spell preparation. We can prepare a number of spells equal to our intelligence modifier + half our artificer level (rounded down), and we can choose those spells from our spell list each time we finish a long rest. Our spellcasting ability is of course intelligence, and we use our alchemist’s supplies as a spellcasting focus, because of our subclass we don’t have yet. 

We start with two artificer cantrips, and we’re taking Booming blade, to emulate bombs, and controlling people movement fits our character well: people will think twice before moving in our direction. Next, we take Acid splash, a pretty weak damaging cantrip, but it’s another kind of bomb we can add to our arsenal. It can also touch two targets at once, which mitigate the low damage of the spell. It is also a saving throw, so it will always be useful anyway. 

Since we have access to every artificer spell, plus the potential Izzet spells, there won’t be a definitive spell list here. It is recommended to get Tasha’s caustic brew, Snare, Cure wounds, Grease and Alarm, as they fit our game plan very well. 

Artificer 2: Our next artificer level is more complex than it seems. We get our infusions, 4 of them. We’re taking the Replicate magic item, to have ourselves a bag of holding to hold all our stuff, the Enhanced defense, that we’re infusing to our armor to help with defense, the Homunculus servant, so we can have our very own Not-exactly-a-mech-Hisui once we get enough money, and Mind sharpener, which will help maintaining concentration on though fight. So far, we can only use 2 of these infusions at the time, so we’ll focus on the replicate magic item and enhanced defense for now. 

Artificer 3: We get our speciality! We are now an Alchemist. We gain proficiency with Glassblower’s tools, as we already have a proficiency with the alchemist supplies, and those tools can be used to create vials to hold our various mixtures. We get an expanded spell list, again, which gives us interesting spells like Melf’s acid arrow, Healing word, Ray of sickness, Gaseous form and Mass healing word. Flaming sphere is not bad, but it doesn’t really fit our concept as a whole. We also get our Experimental elixir, which is one random potion every long rest. All the effects are helpful, even though some are more than others. We also get the Right tool for the job, which lets us create artisan tools, which is neat. 

Rogue 1: Of course, we’re going rogue. We’re a sneaky trickster, after all, and we’re pretty skilled at it. Our first rogue level gives us the famous Thieves cant, which we will quickly forget. More interesting, we get a skill proficiency, and we’re taking Deception. It’s less useful than persuasion, but we need to lie more than we need to persuade. We also get Expertise in 2 skills of our choice, which will be Deception and Medicine, two of our most important skills. With expertise in medicine, we mitigate our low wisdom, and we’re able to pretty much always stabilize our fallen allies, especially when we get past level 5. What’s more, we get the rogue’s main feature, the Sneak attack! Sneak attack can be used with booming blade for pretty huge damage, in the right conditions, and it’s getting even better starting next level. 

Rogue 2: Speaking of next level, here it is. The second rogue level gives us cunning action, and we now always have some use for our bonus action. We can hit with booming blade + Sneak attack, then retreat. We can add some movement to our turn, and we can try to hide in the shadows, not that we’re particularly good at it. 

Rogue 3: We get our second archetype. We’re now both an alchemist and a Mastermind, which gives us yet another round of proficiencies: Disguise kit, Forgery kit and a Gaming set. Those three are not the most useful tools we have access to, but they can always be used creatively. We can also Mimic speech, but that’s not exactly a meta redefining feature. More importantly, we are also a Master of tactics, giving us yet another use for our bonus action in the form of Help. We can help our ranged allies to hit close-ish targets with that feature, too. 

Artificer 4: Our first ability score increase comes at level 7, and luckily, we’re not too dependent on feats. We’re simply increasing our intelligence by 2 and call it a day. 

Artificer 5: This level is very interesting, because we get a neat little feature that tremendously increases our distance damage. We are now an Alchemical savant, and provided that we use our alchemist supplies as a spellcasting focus, we can add our intelligence modifier to the damage rolls of any fire, necrotic, poison and acid damage, and to every one of our healing rolls. Sadly, this doesn’t buff our melee damage, but we can’t have everything. Also, the ability is weirdly worded: as it is written in the book, it looks like you must use your spellcasting focus to cast the spell for the damage and healing to be buffed. However, if it does work like that, we'd have a total of 5 spells of level 0-3 that are affected by the feature, so I’d say it works with every one of your spells that is cast with intelligence. 

We also get our new level 2 spells. The ones that are interesting for our build are Enlarge/reduce, Heat metal, protection from poison, pyrotechnics, rope trick, Spider climb and Web. The first is based on one of our actual feats of enlarging our mistress, one time. Heat metal is an overall tricky and useful spell to have. Protection from poison is useful to protect our allies from friendly fire, and the last 4 spells are all great traps and terrain manipulation, which is what we want to do. 

Artificer 6: This level is more straightforward, as it only really adds the Tool expertise feature, which allows us to double our proficiency bonus on all tools we’re proficient with. That is, a LOT of tools. We also get new infusions, and we’re getting the Spell refueling ring, a great tool to mitigate our too few spell slots per day, and Resistant armor, which is situational but very useful. We can also have 3 infusions active at the time, which is the maximum number of attunement we can have anyway. We can also now create two experimental elixirs per long rest, hurray!

Artificer 7: The seventh artificer level gives us Flashes of genius, which is a great tool to help the party. It can also be used to mitigate our own AOE damage on them, proving the party that we’re not here to kill them, we swear!

Artificer 8: Artificer 8 gets us a simple ability score increase, which we gladly take to increase our already high intelligence to new levels. We increase it by 2 points, to reach a total of 20. 

Artificer 9: Our final level in artificer grants us a final subclass feature, the Restorative reagents. It makes it that our experimental elixir gives 2d6 + 5 temporary hit points to whoever drinks it. Also, we can now cast lesser restoration 5 times per long rest without having the spell prepared, which is a great way to remove harmful status ailments from allies for pretty much free. 

We also gain our level 3 spells. The interesting spells from the list are Haste, which emulates the drugs you use on your poor party members,  Catnap, to represent the sleeping medicine you give them,  Protection from energy, for the same reason as protection from poison a bit earlier, and finally, the trappiest spell of them all, the one that really let us do crazy shenanigans,  Glyph of warding. This amazing spell is a literal modular trap which does pretty nice damage, doesn’t require concentration and it’s just so flexible. This is the only obligatory spell on the list. 

Rogue 4: The fourth rogue level gives us our third ability score increase, and we’re getting a bit tankier and stabbier now. We increase our dexterity score by 2, this time, putting us at a nice 16. 

Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues get uncanny dodge, a very powerful tool for survival. Nothing much to say, it’s great! (Editor’s note: might as well just say it anyway- use your reaction to take half damage from an attack- very useful!)

Rogue 6: We get 2 brand new expertises, which will be in Arcana, for being even better at understanding the mechanics behind the spells we use, and Sleight of hand, so we’re also a lot better at setting non-magical traps and disarming them. 

Rogue 7: Now that we can mitigate damage with uncanny dodge, it’s time to get better at saving throws and get Evasion. Another extremely good ability we’ll never use too much. (EN: dex saves cause half damage on failure, 0 damage on success!)

Rogue 8: Our next ability score, and we’re getting yet another 2 points in dexterity, so we now have a more than decent armor class and solid melee attacks. 

Rogue 9: Rogue’s ninth level gives us our second subclass ability, and we are now an Insightful manipulator. We can now assess our current target’s strength, but at this point, we’ve probably fought most of the bestiary and know everything there is to know about most threats. It can still be used against bosses, but it’s not exactly great since we’re not that good at sneaking. 

Rogue 10: Our tenth level in the rogue class gives us yet another ability score increase. We are actually a pretty crafty person, and poison is just another tool in our arsenal. We get the Poisoner feat, which lets us ignore resistance to poison damage and craft poison for our weapons. At that point, we should be filthy rich and can certainly afford the cost to do so and poison basically every single one of our strikes. With Booming Blade, sneak attack and the poison damage, our damage output is actually pretty crazy. 

Rogue 11: Our final level gives us a very, very nice little boost: thanks to Reliable Talent, we basically can’t score under 16 + ability modifier, or 22 + ability modifier with expertise, for skills and tools we are proficient with. We now have a passive Arcana of 27, Sleight of hand of 26 (whatever a passive sleight of hand score means), Deception and Medicine of 22, a passive investigation and insight of 21 and passive abilities with our numerous tools that are just as high (since you can use most tools with most abilities, the scores won’t be listed here, obviously). We can now pretty much recognize spells on sight, pickpocket on the go, lie as we breathe and treat injuries in a few moments, among other things. 

Pros: We’re a tool monkey, and we use all of them like a pro when we reach level 20. We can craft a bunch of crazy stuff with all that. We’re also quite bulky, with decent hit dice and the rogue survivability, plus our artificer infusions. We are also good at dealing big bursts of damage thanks to booming blade, sneak attack and poisoner. What’s more, we’re quite good at healing and dispensing temporary hit points. 

Cons: If we can’t trigger our sneak attack, our booming blade damage is not exactly huge. We don’t have many spells slots, and we quite like to use them. Also, we’re good at dealing damage, healing and controlling the battlefield, but we’re obviously not great at any of these things. 

[a-n-conrad]

Fighting and Flirting (Bakugo x Reader)

Chapter 1: Butterflies

[Summary: You and Shoto grew up together, sparring throughout the years in order to convince his father to allow the two of you to remain friends.]

Relationships: Bakugo x Reader, Todoroki & Reader, Midoriya & Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fighting (blood), Mineta, SLOWBURN 

Masterlist

“You should teach me how to do that,” You jump a little at the voice behind you, though you quickly recognize it.

“I don’t think your dad would appreciate that all that much, Shoto,” You joke, waving your hand to dispel the illusions of butterflies you had created to swarm around you in the courtyard, before turning slightly to face your childhood friend.

“He let you in here, didn’t he?” He motions to the garden around you. It was true, his dad had been the one to walk you to the inner garden of their abode today, though you still weren’t sure how much truth was held in his next statement, “Obviously, he doesn’t mind you all that much.”

“You know that’s just because he wants us to spar in a little bit. He likes that I give you a challenge sometimes.”

He sighs and sits on the ground next to you. You guys still had a little while until his dad came out and started hounding you to start sparring with each other. You always liked to take this time to actually sit and enjoy being around each other before he was attempting to either set you on fire or freeze you to death.

You two had been friends with each other for quite a long time at that point. You had met about a year before Shoto’s quirk presented and you had refused to go away when his dad had attempted to isolate him from the world. Eventually, Endeavor gave up on trying to get rid of you and just decided to find a way to make you useful, though you were sure that if you were his kid your arguments would’ve ended quite differently if what Shoto says is anything to go by. Instead, however, you became Shoto’s sparring partner, since your parents weren’t even around enough to protest.

Admittedly, your quirk wasn’t quite as useful when it came to battle as Shoto’s. You could manipulate light and sound to create elaborate illusions or just send off a bright beam of light or a sonic boom. Other than that, though, you had to rely a lot more on your physical abilities than Shoto. You could really only use one sonic boom before your ears started ringing, and if you used it more than that before the ringing stopped, the doctors said you’d end up making yourself go deaf. That just means you spent a lot more time outside of sparring working out and building muscle. 

“I was serious, though, (Y/N),” Shoto’s voice broke into your thoughts, “You should teach me how to make butterflies like that. I’m sure my fire could do something similar.”

“Maybe,” You replied, attempting to think about how you’d have to adjust your tactic in order to make it work with fire, instead of just light, “We’d have to shift a few things, but we might be able to make it work. I don’t think you’d have quite as much control as I do, though.”

“That’s alright,” He replied, leaning his head on your shoulder, his dual-colored hair falling into your face a little bit, “I just think it’d be nice to make something pretty out of my fire.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense, Sho.”

“What are you two doing just sitting around?” The voice that echoed from the area near one of the doors to the garden was easily the last one you wanted to hear, though you knew well that he’d be out soon, “Do you really think you have time to just sit around? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the entrance exam?”

“Entrance Exam?” You asked, a little confused as to what Endevear was talking about as he approached the two of you. You hadn’t really thought of any school to apply to yet and as far as you knew, neither had Shoto, “Entrance to where?”

“UA, obviously. You think Shoto would be going anywhere else?”

You glanced over at your friend, a little hurt that he didn’t tell you that he had already figured out where he was going, “Oh, right. Should I leave you to study instead? I’m sure the written exam is important too.”

“You’re going too, aren’t you?” Shoto asked, tilting his head a little as if it had been obvious to you. He had a couple habits like that, though you were sure almost no one else got to see them.

“What?”

“You want to be a hero, too, don’t you? There’s no better place to go than UA.”

“Shoto,” You started, “There’s no way I’ll get into UA. Their entrance exams aren’t exactly built for people with quirks like mine. I could do alright in the written portion, but I doubt I’d do at all good in the practical exam.”

“That’s why you get in on a recommendation,” Endeavor states, obviously getting annoyed at the conversation and the lack of sparring that was going on during it. He was quick to get annoyed with you, though he knew there really wasn’t much he could do about it without getting himself into trouble. 

“What,” You try your best not to sound too surprised and confused, but you were never really all that good at hiding your emotions, “Where would I get a recommendation?”

“From me, of course,” He replies, rolling his eyes, “They’re pretty quick to accept recommendations from the number 2 hero, but you still have to go through an entrance exam. It’s just not quite as battle-centric.”

“Oh, thank you!” You jumped up from your spot on the ground, too excited to hide your grin, and while you still felt a little guilty to accept something from someone who was so cruel to your friend, you knew there was no other way for you to get into the same school as him.

“Shut up,” He grumbles, “Don’t forget that it’s just to give Shoto a decent rival at that school. That means you had better get into the same class as him. Now, will you get on with the training before you have to fight me instead?”

You nodded and helped Shoto up from his spot on the ground, nest to where you were just seated before the both of you got into your sparring positions that you had gotten into multiple times a week for the past few years.

- - - - -

Shoto almost always started out using his right side. He liked his ice better, so he always favored using it. That’s why as he quickly shot a wall of ice out towards you you knew exactly how to dodge. A quick bit of acrobatics to his left as you were in the clear.

Of course, he expected that, which meant you had to be pretty quick on your feet to make another quick dodge as he threw a shot of flames towards you. You had been through this same battle enough that the two of you knew each other’s moves better than anyone else in the world. That meant that you each had to start getting more creative in order to avoid playing out the same battle every single time.

You each had your own goals, though, which you knew would make it easier to win the fight. You knew that his goal was to keep you as far away as he could, so he could use his long-distance move in order to either freeze you in place or to burn you enough that you tap out. That made your goal to get as close to him as you could so you could get a few punches in.

You held your hand up quickly, focusing as hard you could in order to push out a quick sonic boom, knocking him down for just a moment. This gave you just enough time to set up your newest illusion for a test. 

You focused on the light first. Step one was to make yourself disappear. Just make the area around you look exactly like the area behind you to him. That way it looked a though he could see through you. You weren’t entirely sure how well it worked, but you were hoping it was an effective enough illusion that it looked like you had vanished. By the time you had gotten that illusion to the point you wanted it, he was already starting to stand back up, almost entirely recovered from your sonic boom. 

That meant you only had a couple of moments to get as far away from where you had just been standing before he tried to roast you.

As he started to stand, you sprinted as fast as you could towards him, quickly closing the gap between you as he glanced around, confused as to where you had gone. 

However, despite your new plan, you were at a slight disadvantage. With your ears ringing as much as they were, you weren’t quite sure how much noise your footsteps were making. You quickly became aware of that new fact as Shoto looked directly at you. As he started freezing the ground around himself, the trail of ice rushing towards you, you took the chance to jump, diving directly towards his midsection.

You managed to avoid his ice, tackling him to the ground, only for your illusion to disappear as you made contact with him. You, however, didn’t care about the illusion anymore. You quickly adjusted to straddle his midsection, pinning one of his shoulders down with your left hand and you leaned the other arm onto his throat in a sort of chokehold. 

He quickly tried to move his arm to grab your arm, however, you were quick to move both of his arms to his sides, pinning them there with your legs, before returning to the chokehold.

“Tap out, Sho,” You muttered, applying a little bit more pressure.

He glared at you before tapping one of his hands against the ground where they were pinned. You quickly stood up, helping him up with you before brushing some dirt off of your clothes. 

“You really don’t go easy on me ever, do you?”

“You really shouldn’t either, Sho. I can handle myself. I know it doesn’t take you that long to get up after getting knocked down,” You say quietly, hoping his dad wouldn’t hear you. You knew that if his dad figured out either of you were going easy on each other it wouldn’t end well for Shoto. 

Luckily for the two of you, before he could say anything about the fight, he got a call. Obviously work-related.

“I have to go,” He said, already on his way out, “The two of you should get some studying in. If you make my recommendations look bad I’m not going to be happy.”

[awkwardbsd]

Hii I love your blog and i love bungou stray dogs Would you recommend a couple of animes

OH BOI! I’VE WANTED AN ASK LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE!

While I recommend some more than others, I enjoyed all of these anime. I mostly copied and pasted another list that I made, but there we go! Have fun!

Feel Good Stuff – Some stuff that leaves you feeling good about stuff. Whether the majority of the series or film is lighthearted or it’s just laidback, both will be included here.

Tokyo Godfathers: one of my favourite anime movies and far more light-hearted than Koe no Katachi (warning though for slurs used in this movie towards transwomen – she’s still the best character in the movie and the movie makes a point to let her know that she’s the best human on this very planet because Hana is a treasure)

Gin no Saji: If you’ve watched Fullmetal Alchemist, it has the same creator except it’s slice-of-life on a farm. I found it to be touching because it squares in on student experiences and connections. Also has sage advice.

Barakamon: Has children actually voiced by children. I watched it during a really important period of time for me. It centres and hits points that a lot of artists have.

Kimi to Boku: I can’t remember why I enjoyed this anime. I just know that I did for some reason. It was really simple.

The Boy and the Beast: I have mixed thoughts about this movie, but at the end of the day, I really enjoyed it.

Zombieland Saga: I just find it nice to find an idol anime that doesn’t focus on the whole “the girls all have to be cute”. One is a biker chick, one is indicated to be a former prostitute, one is a verified transgirl.

Those Movies That Have to be Mentioned – I’m legally obligated to mention these.

Anthem of the Heart: sounds like a crack premise (“girl gets cursed by an egg to never speak again after seeing her dad cheat with another woman in a love hotel like a castle”) but ends up being really good.

Your Name: practically everyone has watched that.

Koe no Katachi: A lot of people have watched this already. I always recommend it, but it’s very emotionally heavy and deals with suicide, bullying, and disability. It’s ending can make you cry from happiness though.

Wolf Children: Well, only if you’re okay with crying (at least on the inside)

Hotarubi no Mori e: It’s only 40 minutes. Probably won’t make people cry, but yeah, I can’t say that much.

Shounen – crack open one of these, and the boys and girls are sure to come

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood: I’m legally obligated to mention this. it was one of my first anime (after Magi) and it was amazing.

My Hero Academia: Yeah... I had to mention this too.

Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic: It was my first anime. It has a lot of shonen crap, but it’s also dialogue-heavy.

Seishun Buta Yarou: Drew in fanbois for the “plot” (bunny girl - what else can I say) and made people stay for the actual plot. It ended up being really quirky and funny. It was like the Monogatari series (which I tried and didn’t like) but better and more “legal”

Yakusoku no Neverland: If you’ve watched Chicken Run, imagine that with people. It’s a farm that farms children so they try to run.

Kimetsu no Yaiba: Shonen Jump doesn’t have that many misses.

Noragami: The gags resonated with 14-year-old me

Assassination Classroom: Underdeveloped cast? Yeah, but it was still a really good Shonen Jump adaptation. 

Comedy – The stuff that’s not quite conventionally “shounen or shoujo” but still tries to make you laugh, no matter how hard they try or how hit-and-miss they are

Mob Psycho 100: The second season is amazing. I found it to be a really good solid show.

Hinamatsuri: If you like Mob Psycho or if you just like the idea of an adult adopting a kid and teaching them stuff along with the kid teaching them, this is the one for you. I was laughing and crying (from tears of laughter) at this.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun: I can’t label this a romance because the romance doesn’t go anywhere. We start at square one and we finish at square one, but the stuff that happens in the meantime makes it all worth it.

Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou / Nichijou: Hit-and-miss, but there are a lot of iconic moments here.

Hataraku Saibou: I think this fits the best here. It’s just a good solid anime about cells in your body.

Shoujo/Romance – In case you need some fluff to fill the dark times; cheese levels vary.

Fruits Basket: Shoujo at its best.

Kono Oto Tomare: I don’t know how this got produced by Shonen Jump SQ because it’s like a cliche shoujo that would make even shoujo manga readers throw up flowers

Toradora: It’s a hit-and-miss for people just because the main character is a tsundere (played by the queen of tsundere herself)

Ookami-san to Shichinin no Nakama-tachi: this ended up being a guilty pleasure for me – not quite a direct romance but direct enough

Haikara-san go Tooru: Technically a movie and only has the first part, but the manga is from mid-70s is a shining example of the feminist boom in Japan after WWII

Gamers!: This was best explained by a comment I read somewhere going “I love this anime, but it makes me want to bang my head on a wall repeatedly”. Misunderstandings: The Anime. Everyone has a hard time.

Kaguya-sama: It was a huge hit in the 2019 Winter season of anime and for good reason. It’s getting a new season coming up too.

Wotakoi: Two adults falling in love. It’s funny and a little bit niche and directed towards otaku.

Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo: Technically a shounen, it was a harem anime that ended up being pretty good? I was so side-tracked by the idea of that, especially since I found the premise mildly interesting. The manga gets extra points for being really cute with that last chapter. I mean, it has boobs, ass, and a lot of kissing, but the female mangaka was taught by the creator of Fairy Tail so it’s really runs in their roots.

Shigatsu no Kimi no Uso: Ultimately included this one in romance, but many would say this belongs in the next category.

Akagami no Shirayuki-hime: This is so heavy on cheese that I had to pause at times and go “what am I doing? Is this how I die? How will my family react to me watching this?” (the last question is one I ask of myself often)

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun: A lot of people who’ve watched BSD like this anime. Tumblr loves this anime. 

The Horror! The Horror! Some Dark Stuff That Belongs in a Cauldron, and those onion-cutting ninjas. – Honestly, it’s not my favourite genre, but some of these ended up being among my favourite anime?

Death Parade: It wasn’t in the genre I usually watch (no comedy at all), yet I was moved every time? That last figure skating scene was *Canadian-French Accent* C’est Magnifique.

Shinsekai Yori: I watched this anime feeling SOOOOO UNEASY. Nothing was even happening that was “scary”. It was just the mere ideas behind it as the eerie world-building led me to go “WAHHHHH” over my computer. It’s one of the best anime I’ve watched, but I can’t recommend it to everyone.

Mousou Dairinin: It’s Satoshi Kon but sane. You actually get a conclusive ending. It has a surprisingly current message behind it though. It’s like Satoshi Kon continues to influence.

Perfect Blue: Now to the less sane Satoshi Kon work that confused me. Western movies literally copied one of the scenes from this movie.

No. 6: I can’t list this anywhere else, but it was the first anime to depict a really, really, really sweet gay relationship. Even though it was a complete fail adaptation-wise, it also gave Hosoya (voice actor) inspiration to keep going. It’s a gift.

Anohana: *ahem* I was recommended the anime by someone I’m no longer close with, but the memories that I had watching this and the message was probably the closest an anime has brought me to actually crying in a non-depressive fashion.

Gakkougurashi: Cute girls doing cute things with zombies that are about to eat them and destroy them all.

Erased: Okay, compared to other great series that I’ve yet to watch (Steins;Gate and Monster), it’s probably trash, but I remember really enjoying it when I first watched it.

[elswordimaginesdrabbles]

Read the Air; It’s Hot Alright

Ain x reader

Warning: long

drawn by @21andree10 on Instagram

(y/n) let out a sigh of relief as they sunk into the lukewarm water. They were truly blessed to stumble across hot springs which they could have all to themselves. It was their night to relax and get rid of all the stress from battle… The El gang was quite exhausting to be around sometimes, especially since there weren’t any peaceful moments; every single person had a thing to complain about or start a fight for no reason.

Their thoughts were suddenly interrupted by another figure stepping into the water. Mind racing, they thought who could it have possibly been? No one dared use the mixed hot springs because they didn't want to deal with the opposite sex- but there it was, some possible predator stepping all over their territory.

“Ah, (Mr/Ms) Thief. I didn't know you'd be here as well,” Ain greeted with the ever-present smile. Turns out it was just the oblivious priest invading their space.

They didn't bother giving him another glance as he sunk most of his body into the water. It was impossible to comprehend why he didn't choose the other side of the bath; it was already tiny enough. An awkward silence followed, (y/n) blowing bubbles out of boredom while Ain closed his eyes as if to meditate. For the first time ever, he wore a peaceful expression in front of another living being.

“(Mr/Ms) Thief,” they groaned, “if you don't mind me asking, what is the point of those ‘hot springs’?” *bubbles stop*

(y/n) stared at him bewildered, but they didn't ask if he was joking; he never did anyway. They sighed and gathered all their intellect to answer the question as seriously as possible.

“Well, you see… hot springs… help you relax.”

“?”

“The water… you get in it… it feels good???”

“...I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.”

“Aaaah, how can you not get it?? Just shut up and relax in the water!” flailing their arms around, they missed one crucial detail…

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, it seems your towel slid off a bit.” they covered themselves instantly as a blush quickly formed on their cheeks.

“You didn’t see anything.”

“...Alright.” he didn’t pursue the subject further, which (y/n) was very thankful for. After a short while of mildly awkward silence, they took it upon themselves to break the quiet atmosphere since it was getting unbearable.

“Anyway, why do you keep calling me (Mr/Ms) Thief?? It’s not gonna take long for me to feel insulted, y'know?”

“I don’t mean it as a derogatory term, of course. Yet, when we met, you tried to swipe all of our food during an expedition in Sander… I still don’t understand Elsword’s decision to take you in.”

“Wow. Just wow. I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Did I say something out of line? If so, I apologize.” his unwavering smile diagnosed (y/n) with a severe case of pouting.

“Aren’t priests supposed to be more social? It’s like you came from another world!”

“...Is that so?”

“You don’t even know what hot springs are!! How can I possibly believe you’re human?!” his passive aggressive expression told (y/n) something they weren't supposed to know…

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t make that face and change the subject.”

“That would be most wise, (Mr/Ms) Thief. If I were you I wouldn’t speak about a secret this important.”

“Wait wh- Holy- You’re not actually human??? That’s it, I’m not letting you drop this ‘till you tell me what you are.”

“I can’t understand how that would help you in any way.”

“It’s not about help here, it’s about what I want. So spill it or else I’m letting the whole gang know.”

“...!”

“I wonder what Elsword will have to say about our alien comrade…”

“Foolish human…” he mumbled inaudibly, quickly switching back to a smile to tell his story. “Alright, I’ll ‘spill it’, as you said. I was sent on a mission by Goddess Ishmael-”

“Hold on a minute, Goddess? And Ishmael as well?? Don’t tell me, or are you the El Lady too?!”

“...I feel as if you’re mocking me.”

“You’re delusional mate, there’s no way around it. Or is it a priest trick where you pretend to be God’s messenger to attract followers?”

“I truly have no words. I had no idea a mere human could cause such an offense. Convince me not to strike you down this instant for disrespecting the Goddess.” his booming voice was no match for (y/n)’s savage laughter.

“I’d like to see you try...! Come at me, pretty boy!” Ain deemed the situation not worthy to break his pendulum over and began chanting his gibberish in German. Before he could even get halfway done, (y/n) launched themselves onto him, making sure to pin Ain’s hands in place. They completely annihilated any chance he had of fighting back. After securing a dominant position, they delivered their lines.

“Here’s reason one: you’re just a pretty boy outside the battlefield, and second, would your Goddess like the idea of her messenger murdering a human? I think not.” they slowly loosened their tight grip on him as he pondered on their words. Shortly afterwards, Ain made his thoughts clear.

“I suppose I should thank you for reminding me. I lost sight of my mission and acted out of line, so I apologize.”

“...Hmm? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, I said, you have disrespected the Goddess. An apology is in order, no?”

“Fine, fine. I am sorry for disrespecting the Goddess. There. I won’t do it again.”

“I will make sure to relay your message to the Goddess.”

After the very heated debate, silence took over. They were too tired to try anything else and just quietly accepted their predicament; being forced to share hot springs with the strange alien priest.

“Why is this a place of relaxation? It feels as if it’s an elaborate trap I’ve mistakenly stepped into,” he pondered.

“Because you’re doing it wrong, dummy.”

“Then how would the right way be?” Ain asked confused.

(y/n) didn’t respond. He waited, and waited… “You just shut up. That’s it.”

“Is that all I have to do?”

“Yes. That’s all there is to it.” making a surprised face, he processed her words. His features relaxing, Ain looked up into the night sky. It was quite late judging by all the stars visible, and he wondered what he was still doing there; resting was mandatory since heavy battles awaited them the next day, yet he was wasting time with a human nonetheless.

Light snoring interrupted his train of thought. He glanced at (y/n), only to find them in an apparently deep sleep. Ain let out a chuckle, but stopped himself midway in shock. It was too genuine for his liking, and he couldn’t comprehend why a simple gesture provoked such a reaction. Yet he felt tired as well and didn’t bother thinking about it anymore.

Ain decided to wake them up; it would be bothersome in battle if (y/n) caught a cold.

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, you should wake up.” No response. “(Mr/Ms) Thief?” they didn’t answer the next time either, so Ain was stuck on what to do. He settled for lightly shaking their shoulder, but he’d soon find out that wouldn’t be the wisest decision… once the tip of his fingers touched their bare skin, they suddenly got up, headbutting him in the process, somehow. He truly felt that and hissed in pain, while (y/n) was frantically looking around as if woken from a daze. They eyed the nearby floating towel and realized that Ain wasn’t wearing anything. Then they jumped to a conclusion.

“P E R V E R T !”

And Elesis kicked down the door.

“Whose butt do I have to kick?!”

~A thorough scolding and some misunderstandings later~

Everyone had gone to their rooms for the night, but (y/n) decided to hang around for a little while longer. The staff at the inn was more than glad to cater to all their needs and brought them a Lanox specialty; they grumpily slurped from the glass, but then thought it actually tasted pretty good. It was mostly water with a tint of exotic fruits, just like the sweet, sweet syrup they used to-

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, can I have a moment of your time?” (y/n) spat the drink, accidentally splashing their lower face with it. They glared at the cause of her misfortune.

“I was wondering if you could clarify something for me.” they grabbed their drink and started slurping loudly, while also avoiding eye contact as much as they could.

“I will take that as a yes, so I’m going to ask my question.” they spat their drink again.

“I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter,” they sighed. “Have a seat,” they pointed to the other side of the table.

“Sir, would you like a drink as well?” asked the waitress who just snuck up on him out of nowhere. (y/n) got a little spooked, not even their skills were that godlike.

“Of course, if you don’t mind. What would you recommend?”

“The Lanox Nectar is the best we’ve got. I’ll bring one on the house for you, sir!”

“Thank you~.” (y/n) watched the very human exchange with widened eyes.

“Is something wrong, (Mr/Ms) Thief?”

“I’m the one who should be asking that.”

“?”

“Here’s your drink, sir!”

“Gah!” (y/n) couldn’t help but lose their composure at the sight of the sneaky waitress. Once again, the wannabe thief got bested by a staff member who was just doing her job. Then she vanished and no matter how hard (y/n) would squint, there wasn’t any trace left of the mysterious girl.

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, I’d like to ask something about the hot springs today.” he didn’t even touch his drink and already got down to business. ‘Ah shit, here we go again’ they thought. “More specifically, about the way you reacted at the end.” They remembered with a somber expression the event and the excuse he dared to give: ‘It was an accident’, he said, but they didn’t buy one bit of it. They wondered why they were still hanging out with that pervert.

“Why did you shout ‘pervert’?”

“Because you are one.”

“I don’t understand why I’m a pervert, so I was wondering if you could explain.” ‘This guy’s a lunatic’, thought (y/n), but humoured him nonetheless.

“Do you really not know? Do I really have to talk to you about this? What did I do to deserve such harassment?”

“Oh, am I questioning something inappropriate? If so, I apologize.”

“Yes, it’s highly inappropriate…” then a yellow light bulb appeared above their head. “But it can’t be helped, can it? I’ll just have to explain it to you so that you won’t do it again.”

“That would be most helpful, (Mr/Ms) Thief.”

“Now, now, disclaimer (...). Here I go:

When two people share a bath together under the full moon, an ancient ritual is unleashed. The only way to prevent it from happening is for the people to wear towels. When yours fell off, I was really worried! So that’s why I shouted for help.

...Also, I forgot to mention, but only chosen people can perform the ritual correctly, and I panicked because we aren’t chosen. Get it?”

“Interesting… I never knew such a thing existed. I can’t help but wonder, what are the consequences of a ritual performed incorrectly?”

“A big explosion, of course.”

“I see now… So you were just trying to help me. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I understand now what Ms. Knight meant about ‘some things are just forbidden’. She was talking about the ritual going wrong, no?

“Yep.”

“If you don’t mind me asking-” Before he could finish his sentence, they got up and spoke.

“It was really nice talking to you Ain, but it is really, really late so I would like to go to sleep. Good night!”

“Ah, you’re right. May we resume this discussion another time?”

“Of course, of course! Good night!!”

“Have a good night as well, (Mr/Ms) Thief.”

There were only so many brain cells a person could afford to lose.

~to the beds, onwards we go~

(y/n) stared blankly at the ceiling, endless minutes of shuffling around having just passed. They usually slept like a log, but something wasn’t right this time. A bad feeling lingered in the air, and no matter how much they tried to shrug it off it was still there.

Inevitably, they got up and groaned. It was their duty to check for possible intruders; or at least that’s what (y/n) told themselves. They reached out for the emergency pocket knife, only to find it was gone.

Then, anger took over. Nobody dared swipe their weapons like that, and if they did, they’d have to speak to the unholy pair of fists (y/n)’s got.

Silent footsteps right outside the room made their ears perk up. They prepared a fighting stance, ready to face the intruder head on. By literally headbutting them.

The door opened suddenly. (y/n) didn’t waste a single second and grabbed the other person’s shoulders, striking in full force. They were more than ready to pin them down-

“Ahh, (Mr/Ms) Thief… This is the second time today. I see you’re quite relentless when it comes to violence,” he rubbed his head in an attempt to alleviate the pain. “I may not be as weak as a human, but I still take damage.”

“Ain?! What are you doing in my room this late at night? And without knocking, no less???”

“Was I supposed to knock?”

“YES. What if you had walked in and found me naked or something…”

“But you said the ritual can only fail when two people share a bath together under the full moon. Did I hear it wrong?”

“Ugh… Just stop talking.”

“Either way, I didn’t come here for nothing. I sensed… demons.” his expression darkening as he spoke.

“Ooh, that makes sense! Hey, hey…” she approached him and whispered quietly, “Do you think those demons you’re talking about snuck into my room and stole my weapons?”

“There is no doubt in my mind. Such filth....” his eyes spelled ‘anger’ and his mouth shouted ‘murder’. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, there was someone else who thought the same.

“Then let’s go give them a piece of my fists.”

~one sneaking montage later~

“Do you think this is their room?” spoke (y/n), their eyes glittering in excitement.

“I’m not certain.”

“Then we’re about to find out.”

“About to find out what?” they jumped into a clumsy stance, startled by Ciel’s sudden interruption. Ain just glared and mumbled inaudible insults.

“You’re making quite the ruckus in the middle of the night. Did you need something from Lu and I?” just then, (y/n) noticed Ciel was carrying a tray full of freshly baked cookies.

“Ooooh, can I have some?” Ain glared at them repulsed.

“How can you talk so casually to this… to this-!”

“Pretty please? Just ignore him, by the way, he’s stupid.”

“!”

“I made them for Lu, so…” staring into their puppy eyes, he sighed. “Alright, you can have one. But only one.”

“Thank youuuuu!” they squealed in delight while grabbing a cookie. “...You didn’t hear anything.”

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” he chuckled.

(y/n) very rarely got to eat sweets, so holding one in their own two hands they couldn’t help but study every inch of it. Drooling at the chocolate chip, their eyes turned into glittering stars. Ciel smiled at the sight; but just as they were about to take a bite…

Ain slapped it out of their hand.

The other two gasped, but (y/n) didn’t hesitate to kneel on the floor and stuff it into their mouth. The guys watched in shock, while their taste buds were assaulted by heavenly flavors.

After an uncomfortable silence accompanied only by chewing noises, (y/n) got up and faced Ciel, her tone turning dopey.

“Thank you! I love you! Welcome to the team!”

“Thanks…?” Ciel was stuck between feeling flattered or repulsed by what he just witnessed.

“Sorry for suspecting you of stealing my weapons! I didn’t know you made such good cookies… heheh…”

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, that’s no way to behave around a demon. Cease at once.”

“Shut ep, grumpy face. I know just what you need… you need a cookie.”

“...What?”

“Cieeeeeel, can I get a cookie for Ain too?”

“Um, sure?” Ciel was still in shock and couldn’t think too much. The thief snickered evilly.

“Eat the cookie, Ain.”

“Preposterous.

“I’m gonna force you to eat it.”

“Stay away from me.” he glared at the cookie revolted, hoping that it would disappear. Instead, (y/n) extended their hand.

“Say aah~” before he could slap the cookie away, they attempted to kick him as hard as possible. Unfortunately, the attack was too heavy and they fell on their butt immediately afterwards. “Oof!”

Ain kneeled before them to check if they were unharmed.

“heheh… *hic*”

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, are you alright?” he could only watch as their smile got bigger and their movements dizzier. Ain had no clue about what could've possibly happened, since he'd never witnessed such strange behaviour before. ‘Is this a human function I was not aware of…?’ he thought.

“Did she drink something this evening?” Ciel inquired, but Ain leered.

“I didn't give you permission to speak to me like that, demon.”

“I'm not too happy about that either, but (y/n) doesn't seem well. Do you want to help them or not?”

If it had been any other person, Ain would have refused without even thinking about it; yet looking more attentively at (y/n)’s dopey face, something just wouldn't let him leave them like that.

“...I'll let it slide just this once.” all the softness drained from his face, he glared disgusted at Ciel. His hatred ran deep, despite the situation at hand.

“We should carry them to their room.” spoke Ciel while putting the tray full of cookies in front of his door. The instant he stepped towards the pair, Ain wrapped his arms around their shoulders as to shield them while aggressively staring Ciel down.

“...Or maybe you should carry them.” he backed away in realization.

“Ooh, are we hugging? Do you like me?” Ain forgot that the thing he held close was actually sentient. With a click of his tongue, he avoided their hopeful gaze, which brought upon a great disaster to the land of Elrios.

Incoherent bawling echoed loudly through the whole inn. Tears spilled like waterfalls from (y/n)’s eyes who was rubbing at them like a little child. Ain’s hands froze in mid air; it felt as if he'd just set off a bomb and he was really confused as to why. They kept going, Ciel starting to threaten the priest with his menacing gaze.

Wishing for (y/n) to be quiet already, he put a hand over their mouth, the noises now muffled. Slowly, the whining subsided and Ain almost sighed in relief before a pang of pain shot through his palm.

It was getting more and more painful, and only then did he realize that (y/n)’s teeth were sinking into his skin.

“Oh, you little f-”

“Ciel, what's with all this ruckus in the middle of the night? Where are my cookies?” Lu spoke after opening the door, a most peculiar sight entering her vision. “What have I just walked into…? Ciel, answer me this instant!”

Chuckling nervously, he replied “I'm not too sure either, Lu…”

Ain, with his hand still in (y/n)’s mouth, spat angrily “You filthy creature dare show yourself before me? Know your place and begone.”

“Huhu, how ironic of you to say that while kneeling on the ground, bested by a human!” Lu smirked, gaining the upper hand. Ain reacted by yanking his arm away from (y/n)’s grasp, making them whine and flop on their face.

Ain got up and dusted himself off: “I have business to attend to. Don’t get in my way, demon.” he snarled, to which (y/n) gasped.

“Demon? Did you just say demon?!” they spoke excitedly. “The demons took my weapons!” shouting, they then slapped themselves so hard the sound of it echoed through the whole inn. The other three watched in shock, each with a face more hilarious than the last.

Charging up their inner energy, (y/n) let out a long fierce battlecry. “You!” they pointed to Lu, “You stole my weapons!”

“What a bold accusation! I, Luciela R. Sourcream, steal a commoner’s belongings? How ridiculous. Ciel, put them in their place!”

“Lu, I think we should give them a chance to explain first.”

“...I’ll listen to you just because you baked my cookies on time.”

“They’re really good, by the way,” (y/n) spoke without thinking, making a grave mistake. The bomb was set off.

“CIEL!! How could you defile my cookies so?! I TRUSTED YOU!” whined Lu dramatically, stomping the floor with her small feet. He hurried towards her to calm the storm. While Ciel was distracted, Ain grabbed (y/n)’s hand and whispered into their ear:

“Let’s make haste.” before (y/n) could complain, Ain took them swiftly to the lobby.

They stared at him confused and more than ready to complain about the situation, yet Ain silenced (y/n) by putting a finger over their lips.

“We’ve successfully escaped the demons,” he smiled. “Now we can focus on figuring out your strange condition.”

“There’s nothing to figure out…” they grabbed his hand and moved it away from their face. “Anyway, it was that drink’s fault! It tasted weird,” spoke (y/n), quite proud of themselves.

“I see… Do you have any ideas where we could start?” Ain inquired with his eyebrows raised.

“Hmmm… I feel like I’m missing something…” they rubbed their chin as if a beard was there,” OH! I know! That girl who served our drinks! The blondie with the ponytail, remember?!”

“There was someone like that? I didn’t even notice.”

(y/n) opened their mouth to remind him of the event, but a gut feeling told them it would be futile to do so. ‘There is also another matter to take care of’, they thought.

“That girl stole my weapons! And drugged me! That’s it, I’m gonna go look for her. She better pray for her life.”

“Ah, an occasion to spread the word of Ishmael. How wonderful,” he beamed.

“Ain, no, you stay right here ‘till I’m done. It was a figure of speech anyway…”

“?” visibly confused, he prepared to ask what (y/n) meant by that, only to notice them stomping towards the counter.

“I would like to speak to the manager.” with a booming voice, they slammed their hand on the wooden surface to attract attention. Staring the girl into the eye, they noticed her blonde hair, tied into a ponytail.

“IT’S YOU!” they pointed,”You’re the one who drugged my drink!” The girl looked right, then left. Finally, she stated in a deadpan tone, “Ah, shit.”

In less than a second, she was gone from (y/n)’s sight and sprinting towards the employees’ back door.

“Excuse me?! I’m not done with you, you little wh*re, I’M TELLING THE MANAGER AND YOU’LL GET FIRED AND YOU’LL HAVE NIGHTMARES FOREVER OF THE DAY I RUINED YOUR LIFE-” shouting more nonsense, they tried jumping over the counter to chase her but a certain priest stopped her just in time.

“That’s not an appropriate way to behave, (Mr/Ms) Thief.”

“And that’s not an appropriate way to tell me my ways are not appropriate.”

“You’re quite childish, aren’t you?” he chuckled. All of (y/n)’s defenses cracked because of that one simple gesture, and steam started coming out of their ears. Taking a deep breath, they tried to calm the burning chaos inside of them and smirked.

“I’m going to Ciel now.”

“May I ask about the reason?” he furrowed his brow.

“Nay, thee shan’t.”

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, surely, you wouldn’t actually stand near filth such as that?”

“What can I say? He’s much more pleasant company than you; trust me, I know.”

“Unbelievable…” he looked visibly offended now, ready to strike someone down in less than a second. “I apologize, but I won’t tolerate this sort of behaviour, thief.” Ain spat their nickname like he’d spit one of Ciel’s cookies, making them gasp dramatically.

“That’s it, I’m murdering you. Better pray to Ishmael while you still can.” (y/n) spat back, preparing their fists.

“After I teach you a lesson, I think it would be most enjoyable to have you pray alongside me.”

“Did you just say enjoyable? Did you just say enjoyable?! I will completely mop the filth out of this floor with your moppy hair!”

“I find it hard to believe that you would stoop to words this lowly, thief. Be warned, I will not go easy on you this time.”

“If only I had my weapons… You’d be crying on the floor right now.”

“I highly doubt it.”

“Look, I’ve made lots of people cry before, what makes you think you won’t be one of them?!”

“I have plenty of reasons. It is truly regrettable that I even considered having a tiny speck of respect for you… Not only do you fraternize with the demons, but you also act like a degenerate human being.”

“Tiny? Tiny?! You want me to mourn for a tiny speck?!”

“It matters little to me whether you mourn or not.”

“Wh- It was supposed to be an exaggeration, you massive idiot! Why do you have to take everything so seriously, it triggers me deeply on a personal level!!”

“Any last words, thief?”

“Yes. Feel my wrath!” they lunged, while Ain was prepared to break his pendulum.

“You know Ciel, this is really entertaining. I don’t regret having my cookies stolen in the middle of the night, just because I got to see this!” (y/n) got a glimpse of Lu and Ciel watching their fight, before their fist finally collided with Ain’s chest in a very underwhelming manner. Then, as a balloon without air, they deflated, landing unceremoniously on the floor.

Ain looked at the scene with a confused smile, wondering why (y/n) started giggling out of nowhere with their face in the ground. Did they have a plan? Was it just another strange human ritual?

“I can’t watch this anymore…” Ciel sighed and tried to approach (y/n), yet a tiny hand stopped him midway.

“How dare you offer help to those people? The cookie thief and the hateful priest?! Ciel, I thought highly of you, but it seems it was wrong of me to do so…”

He gasped dramatically and retaliated in less than a second. “I apologize, Lu! I will go bake another batch of cookies just for you and leave those two to their own devices.”

“Chocolate chip cookies, don’t forget.”

“Yes! I will certainly leave those two to take care of themselves and definitely not check on the situation later!”

“Good job! I surely do not regret choosing you as my butler, Ciel~,” beamed Lu, walking away with Ciel in tow.

“...Ah.” Only then did Ain realize that the odd acting human was in his care. ‘What is there to do now?’ he thought, for (y/n) had started to munch on the carpet. Then, he remembered humans didn't usually eat carpets.

“Thief, cease this disgraceful behaviour at once.” After he spoke, a pair of curious eyes settled on his magnificent coat. (y/n) could only imagine the deliciousness of such a minty looking beverage and leaped towards it in an attempt to get a taste.  He noticed before they even thought about it and intercepted their attack with a quick slap on the forehead.

(y/n) responded by hugging the floor and sobbing into it, to which Ain didn't bother reacting to anymore. His face spelled ‘I'm done’ yet the thief kept on crying the same sentence: “I'm hungryyyy…”

Ain gazed upon their snot filled visage, a repulsive sight which was supposed to engulf his entire being with disgust. Yet, despite all of his alarms having set off, he kneeled before (y/n). He recalled a similar sight which had only taken place recently; Elsword felt defeated when In and Jin escaped, but his sadness was gone as quickly as it came since Ms. Knight had ruffled his hair and offered words of encouragement. ‘Is that what’s missing?’ he thought, his gloveless hand finding its way onto their head as if to comfort.

Almost gone by unnoticed, their sobbing had gotten quieter. The more Ain would pat their head, the less they'd cry, and so he thanked Ishmael for this newfound wisdom.

“...Let's get you to your room,” he mumbled, grabbing (y/n) and pulling them over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Without a sound, Ain traveled through the whole inn twice, probably even three times before he remembered where (y/n)’s room was; after all, it was by sensing their energy he stumbled across it the first time.

Ain laid their body on the bed as roughly as he picked them up, but he received no reaction. Instead, (y/n)’s sobbing had turned to silent tears as they covered their face with their palms.

‘A pitiful sight’, he thought; yet he could not stand still and watch since a strange feeling had wormed its way in. Then, the priest decided it'd be a good idea to repeat what he had done earlier and pat their head.

(y/n) on the other hand, couldn't even tell whether they were hungry or in complete despair for no reason in particular; but what they did know was someone's gentle hand comforting them and a gentle voice whispering ‘sleep well’. They did not know if it was actually real or not as they dozed off into a state of nothingness.

~darkness~

The bed was an incredibly soft surface and (y/n) wouldn't have gotten out of it if it hadn't been for the hot springs. It was finally time to relax and forget about all the worries that had plagued their mind for weeks.

On their way to the place in question, they grabbed a jerky and gulped it down in a second. ‘It's a lot tastier than usual’, they thought.

(y/n) sighed relieved. Fixing up their towel to make sure it wouldn’t fall, they opened the sliding door.

What a wondrous occasion for them to be able to finally savour the joy of hot springs! It had been a really long time since they'd been to one.

“Come in, (Mr/Ms) Thief. I’ve been waiting for you,” Ain had gotten there before them, but they didn’t mind too much and stepped into the water. They were really tired, and once they sunk their body into the hot springs their entire being relaxed.

“Would you mind if I gave you a massage?” (y/n) shook their head.

“Come here,” they approached him and he then tended to their sore back.

“You’re really good at this… I should ask you to do it more.”

“I’m glad to be of assistance.” a brief moment of silence followed as his firm hands ran over their bare skin. They felt themselves getting quite hot.

“...Do you hate me, Ain?”

“Why would I hate you?”

“I dunno…” their posture slouched.

“Just so you know, I don’t hate you. You don’t have to be sad.” his fingers moved onto (y/n)'s shoulders, their back straightening once again.

“I was a bit mean to you…”

“But I couldn’t hate you for that.”

“Maybe more than just a bit…”

“You’re still dear to me, (y/n).” they suddenly turned their head to face him, barely believing what they just heard.

“...Really?”

“Really.” he tucked a strand of hair behind their ear, staring at them lovingly. They didn’t know how to react.

“...I’m sorry for trying to hit you..”

“It’s alright. I forgive you.”

“I’m sorry for calling your hair moppy.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry for disrespecting the Goddess…”

“It can be easily solved.” they frowned. He gently caressed their head as he pulled them into a hug.

“...You’re really hot.”

“I’m flattered.”

“No, I’m… nevermind.” they gave into his touch and closed their eyes.

“You can sleep if you’d like. I’ll take care of you.”

“...You’re different.”

“I could say the same about you.”

Enveloped in warmth, they didn’t bother giving another argument.

“Look at me.” he raised their chin, gazing into their sleepy eyes.

“...Why though?”

“I just wanted to see you from up close. That’s all.”

“I should consider that creepy, but I’m too tired to care…” he chuckled, admiring their face even more. “What about the massage?” they asked innocently.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I got distracted.” his hands returned to their shoulders, making them even sleepier than before.

(y/n) looked up into the night sky. It was quite late judging by all the stars visible, and they wondered what they were still doing there; resting was mandatory since plenty of delicacies awaited them the next day, yet they were killing time with this pervert nonetheless.

Fluffy gray hair tickling their neck interrupted that train of thought. Not long after, a pair of arms wrapped around their torso, the towel seemingly gone.

“You will make a fine trophy to my wife collection.” he smiled wickedly, and (y/n) remembered: he was still a priest.

~darkness ends~

They woke up in a cold sweat, questioning reality with a distressed frown. Events of yesterday mingled with their dream, instilling uncertainty in what they were currently seeing.

“You're awake. How are you feeling?” inquired the man seated at their bedside. Upon closer inspection, they noticed his dark blue hair and identified him as Ciel; yet, (y/n) couldn't shake off the feeling that they were expecting someone else.

“I feel… fine, surprisingly. What happened yesterday?”

“You don't remember…?” he asked confused and (y/n) scratched the back of their neck. “Well, you weren't in your right mind, to say the least,” a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lips, but (y/n) didn't notice. If they had, they'd have punched it right off.

“Either way, I made you some breakfast,” he offered them a plate. “Don't tell Lu.” Ciel added a little more serious than usual.

(y/n) studied their dish; it was smaller in quantity than what they were used to, and so it made up in craftsmanship. Not only was the pancake softer than anything they'd ever touched, but it also had a smiley face drawn in chocolate topping, together with a small ‘get well soon’ next to it.

(y/n) had never seen such effort put into breakfast before and couldn't contain the little blush that covered their cheeks. Ciel smiled at the sight.

Yet, despite the good start they'd gotten, (y/n) couldn't take their mind off the dream they just had. Who was it that they dreamed of? The thief could only feel disturbed and slightly horny, but the reason remains unknown.

The person in their dream had a name; what was it? It stood on the tip of their tongue…

“Ciel, wasn't there another guy with us?”

“There was? I'm fairly sure I found you alone.”

“Never mind… I probably just dreamed it all.” slouched (y/n). They could not tell why that person they forgot was so important to them and it frustrated them endlessly.

“Which parts do you remember from last night?” spoke Ciel, attempting to make conversation. (y/n) pondered on the question and didn't answer too quickly.

“...I was drinking what seemed like normal juice, but then I realized the sweet syrup in it was supposed to mask the taste of a drug. Something distracted me from that, but I just… can't remember what.”

“Drug?! Do you know who did this to you?”

“Yeah. It was the blond ponytail girl at the counter who I went to question with… with….?”

“With who?”

“I don't know. I don't remember,” they replied sheepishly to which Ciel sighed.

“I think I know what girl you're talking about. She also tried to break into my and Lu’s room, but not without good reason. We caught her a while after I found you unconscious; the whole El gang suspects she might be working with the demons.” (y/n) nodded in understanding, although they spaced out in the middle because the explanation was getting too long.

“We'll be waiting for you downstairs. Until then, eat your breakfast and take your time.” before leaving, Ciel ruffled their hair and (y/n) stopped responding.

At that point, they truly felt that something was missing and it wasn't just their memories of last night. Something like… something that would barge into their room and complain about getting along with a demon, even though Ciel was only half demon. Something that would throw the pancakes on the floor without an ounce of hesitation.

“(Mr/Ms) Thief, would you like to explain what that is in your lap?” and there he goes again, coming in uninvited with a glare that could kill.

(y/n)’s dream came back to them in an instant and they didn't know whether to hug themselves in embarrassment or run for their life. They couldn't even utter his name because of the overwhelming emotions that seemed to have popped up out of nowhere. Yet what they said was this:

“You don't have a wife collection, do you?”

“??? Are you trying to distract me from the devil’s food? Give me one reason why I shouldn't obliterate it right this instant,” Ain spat.

‘As grumpy as ever’, (y/n) thought and laughed out loud, a little relieved that their dream was far from reality. On the other hand, the priest was livid from that reaction.

“What did you just say about me, you puny human? I'll have you know I am Ishmael’s most trusted agent. No matter where you may hide I will find you and wipe you out in the name of the Goddess with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this land, mark my words. Laugh, human, I'll serve the divine retribution you are owed nonetheless and you shall perish by my wrath.”

(y/n) did their best to abstain from laughing even louder, but it was to no avail; the gates had already been flooded, a swarm of pure joy took over their mouth and even stomach, for the endless laughter had made it hurt.

"Wow, and here I was, actually disturbed by you for some weird reason-" wiping off an imaginary tear they squeaked out, hiding their relief. Ain was not amused.

"I will not tolerate-"

"Nom." (y/n) nommed a quarter of a pancake, interrupting his incoming speech. Ain's aura had turned menacing as he approached the hungry thief's bed.

"Oh, do you want one too?" (y/n) munched; Ain froze.

"Preposterous."

"Dont lie, you know you want it."

"Such audacity. Take that poison away from my sight. Now."

(y/n) smirked and nommed another pancake. "Om nom, very yum. Me like."

Ain looked mortified as they ate pancakes one by one, until only half a piece remained. It was doused in chocolate to the point of feeling like a wet towel when touched; just the way (y/n) loved it.

"Are you suuuure you don't want any?" No answer.

He thought a little more; weren’t they in such a predicament because of him? His incompetence led to (y/n) laying in that bed after a shaky night they had no choice over. It was his fault only, for not noticing the subtle details and letting a vital member get almost injured from sheer stupidity from his part. Ishmael would believe that he had to atone.

Defeated and upset with himself, Ain shut his eyes and whispered, "Just one bite…"

(y/n) beamed at the response and gladly gave him the bite he asked for. At first he looked like he'd spit it out the instant he put the pancake in his mouth, but his face didn't lie as his features slowly relaxed. He hummed in delight.

And when things seemed to be going well, the dream came to their mind again, along with an idea.

"Hey Ain, you're really hot."

Perplexed, he spoke: "I'm not. My coat may seem warm, but was that supposed to be a question?"

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Then what way did you mean it in?"

(y/n) giggled.

~

Elesis: “You’re finally here! What took you so long?”

Ara: “Um, m-maybe it’s not very appropriate to ask that..?”

Aisha: “I don’t buy it one bit. (y/n)’s not smart enough to handle a guy like Ain.”

(y/n): “Oi, wanna fight?”

Rena: “Ahem.” the whole El gang’s attention was on her. “We have more important things to deal with, don’t we?” Everyone looked at the suspect; she seemed regretful.

Raven: “You should explain yourself now, while you have the chance.”

Add: “Can’t you see she clearly doesn't want to speak? We should just end her here and now.”

Eve: “Any allies of the enemy should be exterminated.”

Add: “See, even Eve agrees with me…! Kuku..”

Elsword: “Now that everyone’s here, tell us: why did you make a deal with the demons?”

Lu: “And to bring me down, no less. To bring me, Luciela R. Sourcream, down…!”

???: “What could I have possibly done…?” For a brief second, her and (y/n)’s eyes met.

Ain: “(y/n) and I can prove that Emily concealed vital information. When confronted about the drugged drinks, she avoided answering and ran away.”

Emily: “tsk..”

(y/n): “Why’d you do it though? Other than peace, don’t you have everything you need?”

Emily: “You know, maybe if you didn’t have your heads so far up your asses, you’d be aware. What kind of heroes are you guys if everyone's starving to death even when working their hardest?! Why should we care if demons invade us when even in this so called peaceful world we have nothing anyway!”

(y/n): “...Girl, have you looked at yourself?”

Emily: “...?”

(y/n): “Those mad skills of yours… they got me wondering if I was working in the wrong field. If you can even call what I’m doing ‘working’. You can move in the shadows better than I can, and I’ve been doing this for years! I’m surprised you’re not a demon by how fast you were moving.”

Emily: “...What are you on about?”

(y/n): “There’s a great future ahead of you, yes, you’re destined for greatness! You can get into places I’ve never been able to, you can swipe treasures I never even knew existed… Greatness, I say!”

Emily: “So you’re saying…”

(y/n): “Eat the rich, Emily. Eat the rich and sleep on their skins.”

Chung: “Ahahah, I don’t think that’s the lesson she had to learn…”

Aisha: “That’s a little ironic, coming from royalty…”

Ciel: “Now, now, whether or not we’ve learned anything, why don’t we eat this celebratory cake I’ve baked just for this occasion?”

Elesis: “Wow, what a convenient cake! I’m all for it!”

Lu: “Huhu, my butler never disappoints, as expected.”

Ain: “But doesn’t it seem like someone took a huge bite out of it?”

Elsword: “No way… (y/n), you betrayed us?!”

With a fistful of cake, (y/n): “I’d rather betray the world than let the world betray me!” then laughed proudly.