#i do not understand the whole romance drama thingy

[pawterpillart]

Platonic, queerplatonic or romantic vee?

The struggle is real.

[nampeung]

GMMTV 2025

I NEED to write my thoughts down. I'm so super excited!

I have made a bingo this year as well, but it was very wishy-washy because I just want to see my boys and oh boy, I got everything I wanted and more. I'll still post it here, just for funsies!

Dare you to Death

My very first thought was: "Oh no. Not some suspense mixed cast thingy with absolutely no BL. What a great start for me..." But then Joong popped up and I though "Well, if it's Joong, I might watch..." and then Dunk popped up and I screamed at my TV: "MAKE IT GAY! PLEASE, MAKE IT GAY!" and then...they made it gayer and gayer and I am so excited! The roles look great for them, the story looks exciting and I am very pleased they were the first trailer this evening. <3 I'm sure it will be a great story (though I know it's not quite up my alley. I'll still enjoy it so much!) Btw: Dunk looked STUNNING in his suit. Love the sparkles

Head 2 Head

I really liked Only Boo! so when I saw SeaKeen, I was very much: "Oh a sweet romance, just as expected! Yay, I'm glad they got another series!". And then he suddenly saw those images... And I wonder how heavy it will get. Because the whole of GMMTV2025 seems very supernatural and this is still on the low end. I am SO HAPPY to see Sea in a naughty role. He was cute in Only Boo but a bit awkward. He looks more natural here? And I love Keen. He seems like a big extrovert all the time, so this role fits him, as well.

Burnout Syndrome

No thoughts. Head empty. Just wow. I am so glad OffGun get another series. And then we get to see Off being a dick, which seems to be a role he can do really well, and IT'S A LOVE TRIANGLE. NO? YES? IT'S A LOVE TRIANGLE! :D I'm not saying I am missing love triangles in BLs, but it's nice to see one for a change! There's so many in my other shows, I am kinda excited to see one in a BL. It only means there's three pretty boys who can kiss around :D

I love the artsy feeling. I love the problems the show seems to tackle. I am excited for OffGun. There's no way I'll miss this show!

I love "A Lot Of" You

I have a very strict love-hate relationship with Nanon. That being said, I am not here to hate on him or love on him (or explain my relationship with him XD). I'll just say: I'll probably skip this one and damn GMMTV for making him look so cute in this show! Shame on them!

Whale Store XOXO

I just wanted to list it here for the list to be complete. I most likely won't watch this one. I am not too much into GL but I'm super glad they got their own series and that it looks cute like this! Love the name Maewnam a lot. That one alone nearly had me reconsider watching this haha But yeah, it looks sweet!

Only Friends Dream On

It took until Neo's face for me to understand that this is the "second season" of Only Friends and OH BOY. OH BOY. I was so confused when I saw Mix with someone. And then Earth came and I thought: yay, an EarthMix show! But HERE WE ARE, MESSY JUICY DRAMA! I am so here for it, especially because I have decided to adopt Leng into my league of special babies and he and Ohm did a wonderful job with Kidnap. I know not much of JossGawin, but they look hot and I am easy to please so we'll get along fine. I can't lie, I wasn't happy to see Neo/Boston again haha But everything else looks great. This will be fun. And among the other shows, it's the first really messy, spicy one so I really needed a show like that in this lineup! I am so glad they did the "second season" like this 💕

That Summer

Winny is my underdog and bias wrecker. I don't know what it is with him. I didn't even like him in My School President but since P'Q in We Are I am LOST. LOST I TELL YOU. I didn't even want to like him. So NATURALLY I am absolutely in love with this show and I can't wait to see it. Just...someone send Winny to me so I can show him how you do CPR? What is that? He thought "Oh, a Prince was washed ashore. Need to kiss him awake"? ANYWAY.... I am so happy this is a fluffy, cute, beach-y romance. It is MADE for me. Because it has WinnySatang, it has amnesia and a prince and then there's the guy who gets better (?) for his love. No, really, I am so excited and happy. They could have gotten any story and I'd be happy, but with the lineup this year this is just what we needed.

Also: someone get Neo out of my face. Especially when he looks this cute!? Go away! I don't want you! 🥺

My Romance Scammer

This was not on my bingo list but I like it! At this point of the show I got worried for all my other couples that hadn't gotten a BL show yet. Like...srsly. I thought we were already at the end of shows but oh boy was I wrong :D

So, I am very fond of JuniorMark, and with that it's already on my to-watch list, no matter what. I like the premise. OhmFluke look nice (I don't know them. Please don't make me like them haha). I'm excited for a good watch - and I'm glad it doesn't make me all giddy and impatient.

Melody of Secrets

My initial reaction:

BOOK! 😃

Creepy hand... ☹️

Dead person...! 😭

Force! 🥺

Sooo I'm very bad with horror or creepy things. Still haven't watched Peaceful Property because of it, though it definitely is on my to-watch list! (I'll watch it during Christmas break, because I'll have time in the mornings to watch a few episodes then). But that's not the point. I am not happy about creepy shows, but DAMN! This looks very exciting and like a good story and even with all the creepy elements, I am seated to know what the heck is going on with Tan and the murders! I like all kinds of stories, so this will be a good to mix into the rest of them! 100% on my to-watch list - not only for ForceBook but also for the story itself.

Love You Teacher

When I said I wanted a "parents" BL this wasn't quite what I had in mind, but baby steps. We're getting there haha I am watching Perfect10Liners (nobody is surprised) but I don't have a strong opinion on PerthSanta yet. I mostly think Santa's character might not be the best fit for him - but in here? I am SOLD. Why is this so cute? Why are they so sweet? Perth reminds me a lot of Yamada Ryosuke (from Hey! Say! JUMP, a J-Pop group) when he smiles here. His little "A bit" when he starts eating Santa and the noise when he realizes kid-Santa has disappeared are GOLD. I love fluffy romances and I'll watch and love this!

MU-TE-LUV

I would love to tell you something about this trailer, but I am as confused as I was the first time watching it. I have hardly any idea what it is about. I saw OhmLeng and SeaKeen. Ah yes, and Neo. But at least it was with Lego and Fluke. Anyway: I'll wait for more info. Might give it a watch, might skip. Looks fun, though!!

Cat For Cash

This is a 10/10 for me. Give them something new and fresh. I love cats. I like a good family story. Love FirstKhaotung. What is there to dislike? It doesn't even have any strange elements - like yeah, he can hear them talk, but at least Khao didn't turn into a cat or something. I'm 100% watching this!!

Girl Rules

Good for the GL girls! Good for the fans! Love it! A messy GL Only Friends style is good! I am excited for you! Let me know how it was. 💕 I'll check out the exciting gif sets on here :D

Boys In Love

New boys and old boys!!! As I said, I am super into fluff and this looks extra fluffy without too much drama and that already puts it on my to-watch list. Add to that the cast and how well made it looks and I'm sold! Case closed! :D

I didn't have many other thoughts while watching this. Mostly I was panicking like "We're giving the babies a series when JimmySea, GreatInn, PondPhuwin, GemFourth etc. don't have a series yet!? T_T" but there was no reason for me to panic :D

The Magic Prophecy

I had this on my bingo list and at first I was a tiny bit disappointed, because I wasn't sure if I even liked that story for them, I just had heard so many rumors... But looking at the trailer, I know that my heart is beating faster whenever Jimmy can hug Sea to his chest so I don't are what the story is. They will make this their own thing, they will draw me into their own world and they will make me fall in love with these new characters again. I love JimmySea so much! They are doing amazing and I was really relieved when they finally popped up. Nomnoms really deserve a series this year.

A Dog and A Plane

I was so surprised to see TayNew and my knee-jerk reaction was "Is it another Bromance?" - but then everything got intense very fast and oh my, the dreamy lines Tay knows to deliver. My heart... And then there's MarcPoon! Poon also managed to grab a special place in my heart and that automatically drags Marc with him - but I have to laugh sometimes about Marc's version of "dreamy loving eyes". Please don't get me wrong, I really love him. But he looks a bit like a serial killer docking onto his next victim at times? So THIS ROLE IS PERFECT FOR HIM! A little thug and suddenly his facial expression makes a lot more sense! Though in his defense - he's doing a lot better in P10L already than he did in We Are. So I'm extra excited for this series!

It looks like a good story, a fun plot, dreamy Tay and fun Poon. I'll instantly watch this one, too!

Me and Thee

Last year I instantly recognized Pond's voice when he did his voice over for Leap Year. This year, I listened to Phuwin yap and had to see Pond until I realized what glorious story was presented to me!

I'm getting cute aggression just looking at the trailer. It's not enough that Phuwin is getting more gorgeous by the day, they have to put him into a story like this, where he kindly teaches an absolutely adorable Pond how life works. It's surreal and stupid, but I love those stories. Why is he so sweet when he looks at Pond in a way that seems to say: "You're so ridiculous, how did I end up falling in love with you?" - it's already what he did in We Are a lot and did I mention that that show was probably my favorite this year?

So yeah. I'm super excited. It's that kind of trailer that has me sitting here, smiling happily and not noticing how time passes, because I am where I want to be: looking at two gorgeous guys in a story that makes me happy. I'm super excited for this!

Wu

Ah, yes. A show about Bromance. Look, I don't know what the trailer wanted to tell us, but I'm intrigued. I like that connected-by-fate trope. I just...don't know how much else I'll like. So I'll stay tuned! The trailer looks fun, though!

Memoirs of Rati

I need a bag to breath into. This is AMAZING. It's GreatInn. It's a period series. It's everything I want and more.

Now... I am disappointed AouBoom don't have their own series this time. But you know what? I'm a strong believer of things come the way they are supposed to. And what better project to put them into as the side couple than this one? I can't wait to see them act these characters out! I am so excited for all the angst, the drama and the historical setting, I really can't contain my feelings. This definitely is top 3 of my most anticipated series next year. Might be the number one, if I'm honest, because I am just so fond of all the things in this show. I really hope the script and story are great, because they deserve it. Please give it a proper budget. 💕 I'll be sitting there, ready to watch the premiere. I'll even say give it time to be produced properly. I'm ready to wait. Just make it happen.

Ticket To Heaven

THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT THIS IS IT!! When I wanted GemFourth to get a good series, THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! Why did we have to waste time and money on a half-assed My Love Mix-Up when THIS WAS THERE? This shows they talent and their versatility. WHY WASN'T THIS LAST YEAR ALREADY? I am so angry! But I am so happy! THIS IS AMAZING! Father going "Guide him back to God's path" and me thinking that Gem's character will be doing the guiding... Oh, bittersweet story. If the trailer has me in tears, you bet I'm gonna cry in the series. I'm ready. Get those tissues out. I'll feel devastated and happy and sad and guilty with you. This will be absolutely perfect.

Conclusion

So... I am impressed. I am excited for most of the shows. I am so happy with the variety of genre and settings. I am even more impressed that we seem to be getting literally ALL OUR BOYS in one way or another. Yeees, not all of them are leading roles. But it's okay. If this year works out well, we'll get another chance next year. I am just really glad that GMMTV is going this road next year and I will do my utmost to not have them regret it. I will throw my money at them because that's what P'Tha deserves for this brilliant line-up. I was so excited for most of the trailers, I really can't imagine what else he could have done better AouBoom main series. So THANK YOU P'THA!

Also, I didn't include it because it's not a series, but: I AM HYPE FOR LOL2025! I will try to finish my fanfiction based on LOL2024, because I have high hopes that the next theme of LOL will be another round of inspiration. I'd love to have another story born from their concert 💕💕

And I will be ready for their game. It looks cute and I am weak for these types of games. I am weak for those games anyway, so why not put some money in there?

Now excuse me. I need to go to sleep so I can go back to work and earn that money that's needed to support my boys. 😂

My Top 3

My most anticipated shows from this lineup are:

Memoir of Rati

That Summer

Dare you...okay no, I can't decide. There's so many good ones. Dare you to Death, Ticket to Heaven, Me and Thee, Melody of Secrets, Only Friends... If you make me choose, it'll pick Me and Thee. Because I'm a fluffy girl. But I'm excited for them all.

[skzflix]

passstt can you do your best to explain the ‘universe’ in depth or at least so it’s understandable bc my ass is clueless 🙃

so, this is my dumb brain linking stuff so please please take this all as what it is — my stupid brain's stupid thinking. this is also the first time i've linked it all out in order. so bear with me. this is loooong. in this universe, we have like three parts: mixtape: on track — b me — mixtape: oh. and it deals with tangled romance and the consequences it has on friendships.

MIXTAPE: ON TRACK

so in mixtape: on track, the universe sets off with the boys in high school, final year, i think. minho and hyunjin are the leads in our whole universe. jeongin is like hyunjin's best friend in this au. they are film and art majors (?) and have this project i presume to make a short film (?). chan deals with the sound, jisung with the lights, changbin with the props, hyunjin with the videography, felix is directing and seungmin is the writer. minho is the main lead in this film and jeongin is a side character in this film.

insert female lead. female lead is close friends with both hyunjin and minho. it's pretty evident that minho and hyunjin likes her and hyunjin constantly does feel bad over minho and her getting closer, because well, he likes her. this feeling turns into a distaste soon enough (as seen in how hyunjin feels pathetic after the girl takes both the drinks from them + how minho shoots the goal while playing soccer and like hyunjin and minho have this weird cold gaze exchange. in both these situations, jeongin is around to help hyunjin. i'll get to this soon.) so like our boy minho and her clearly have sparks and hyunjin dislikes it. high school jealousy, if anything.

that's when hyunjin decides to take action and while shooting, when minho has to grab the female lead's hand, he butts in and holds her hand. all because he likes her and he's done being the second lead in this story. the mv ends here.

now, about jeongin, he did mention in one of his vlive that he was like a guardian angel and i do think he's like a friend that really really cares for hyunjin and doesn't ever want him to get hurt. so the whole mv wraps up in this plot of how hyunjin takes action right when minho and the female lead are slowly getting things going for them.

UNVEIL: B ME

and then we get the unveil track of b me, (how i wish they dropped the mv for this rather!). i'll make a list of stuff that happens in b me first and then tell you how my brain linked it up.

felix with the video camera + tape

jeongin distressed with bruised face

the members reminiscing what they once had before chaos struck.

a script that has even a fool knows (alternative title to on track) written (this was my cue to link them both?)

seungmin, chan and technically the whole cast looking distressed

jisung burning the film competition form (?)

changbin in the court sad and playing alone

biker!minho + biker!hyunjin (THIS ISN'T A POINT BUT THEY ARE SO HOT IN THIS AU SHUT UP RUE!!!)

minho meets with an accident + jisung rushes to his side

angry giving up skz moments

ot8 basketball happy memories

i'm going to sit here and draft this out so again, bear with me, soooo,

i presume the hyunjin grabbing the girl's hand, ofc, did not sit right with minho because technically, minho and her were a thing almost. and that ruined the friendship. this also caused the whole film shooting to turn chaotic, i presume because hyunjin's gaze in the on track mv seemed determined so i think he wasn't ready to back off either. the filming team clearly breaks apart because of this. the tension between minho and hyunjin is still very high. the team is frustrated. jisung burns the film competition form because what's the use of joining when there's no team? changbin is sad and angry and has emotions he is frustrated over (just like the other members!!) because they aren't together as a friend circle distinctly because of the feud between hyunjin and minho. they used to play basketball together (the whole of the ending part!) but not anymore.

now, we see how minho meets with an accident. i'm a bit confused with this part (this is why we need the mv for b me, jyp!!!!) but i'll state out everything i think.

a) jisung is to minho as to what jeongin is to hyunjin.

b) the accident could be solely accidental? maybe minho ran off in a fit after an argument with jeongin and hence why jeongin has the bruises and maybe in that heat, minho could have had the accident.

c) i presume jisung rushes to help him because human guardian angel of sorts of a friendship.

anyhow, i think the small clip of video tape that felix pulls out in the beginning is what they watch together. i do not think this has any correlation to the intense story besides adding the fact that they were reaaaaaaally close because they all look super happy in that shot, omg!!

MIXTAPE: OH

and now here we are, mixtape: oh. (watching and pausing the mv to go as detailed as i can with my storytelling.) this, since it was a mv, we get a story as solid as the first one (thank you, jyp. i hate you generally but thank you for this.)

so we have all the members in the drama club room. the same room we saw in the first mv i think. everyone's gathered back there, picking up their stuff because they have graduated, except for changbin and hyunjin who haven't come. jeongin searches and hopes expectantly for hyunjin to come. the blue certificate kinda thingy (I have no idea what it is. i don't read korean either and my google translate couldn't pick that up :((() is something of hyunjin's and i think minho did want hyunjin to come to this sort of reunion because he gets angry and picks up the blue thingy. he's either mad at that, or he is still mad at what happened in the past. i'm not sure. either ways, jisung is worried too as to what minho is going to do and over what he is feeling. oh, also, minho is in a cast, which means it does go exactly in the order i mentioned !!!

we then see hyunjin (shit, i cried again!) and he's painting an eye (is this a relation with some other skz song i will never know) and i think he took up art after dropping from film club so like he could distance himself from the rest of them, because well, he was 1/2 of the reason why this all happened.

we have the members reminiscing again, thinking about the good times and bad ones too. jeongin is in a tunnel (the boy is always in a tunnel. is this again a link to other mvs i do not know) and changbin goes to the drama club room all alone after everyone leaves and like i think he removed the sign of the drama club room and in my head, it's a symbolism for how everything has finally ended. all the memories they have had had finally ended with their graduation, of sorts, in that moment for him. jeongin, who is in the tunnel calls for hyunjin, like a last thread of hope he clings on to, expecting for him to finally meet them and come back to them. hyunjin doesn't pick up the call.

minho is still packing things up and as he looks through stuff he sees a calender with their anniversary date marked and he remembers of the team together once again. everyone really badly misses the old days. we see jeongin who goes to buy that drink again that he stole from hyunjin in the on track mv and he remembers felix in that moment.

felix who is in the library is with a cake. so i presume it is his birthday because he lights the candle on the cake up eventually. i think he did want to celebrate it with the team as a whole but because of the fall he can't. he opens a book and see the quote, "dreams come true to those who really want them," (we see this on the jisung bus stand shot too btw!!) and he goes on to make a wish on his cake and ie think he wished for them all to be together once again, living the happy memories again. hence the beautiful shots in the end I AM IN LOVE.

so i had this sorta ex lmao who told me this beautiful metaphor once when we broke up about how i left him on the bus of our memories and it was only i who got down and that our timings didn't match. and i think my brain instantly correlated those two, oops. so like the bus is a train of thoughts, a passageway for them to remember the happy memories. changbin remembers the happy memories he had as he looks through hsi phone with the basketball in his hand. jisung also enters the bus and remembers the moments they shared. oh, also changbin leaves when jisung enters. the timings don't match.

TIMESKIP. because this is based off kdramas for sure and what are kdramas without timeskips lmao.

minho's arm is healed. (he's also wearing such a pretty fit i want to steal!) minho goes and tried to meet hyunjin at his art studio because he wants to give it a try, this whole friendship again, i think, but hyunjin isn't there. so he leaves him a note and the certificate (??) blue thingy (?? what is it someone help me!) hyunjin comes back to see them both. this is what happens in the mv, in correlation with the other mvs.

they could clearly make another part of them actually getting together. but personally, i think they do and like felix's wish comes true because the directing is such that they end it with felix opening his eyes. (i also don't want to think of a sad alternative where felix opens his eyes only to remember reality is still the same and the feud still exists. i refuse. in my head, the next part has them coming together just like that in the snow!)

but yes, if you've reached till here, thank you for reading my incoherent mess of thoughts. ily and i hope you have a good day! 💕

[elencelebrindal]

If I'm not mistaken you've now read/watched the three mxtx works and WoH. How would you rank them following personal preference? Which main couple did you like the most? Favorite plot twists in all four?

Yep, I did. I still have to read Faraway Wanderers though. Can't wait to.

This came out to be quite a long post, so I'll put it under the read more thingy.

Now, how would I rank them?

I'll have Tian Guan Ci Fu at the top, no doubts. It's my absolute favorite among all these four, and will probably remain my favorite even after I finally get to read the huge thing that's 2ha. It's the perfect balance of a story with no characters left unexplained (except for the minor ones and RIP Hua Cheng's backstory, why did mxtx rob us so much), of characters being unique all in different ways, and of a romance that, while being absolutely the main focus of the novel, is not overwhelming. For me, an aro/ace person, the romance written in TGCF is so good that it made even me stupidly happy. I don't get such big smiles on my face while reading my own romantic content.

This is the ONLY novel I've ever read that doesn't have a single character I hate in it. Only one, maybe two at most, that I dislike. That's it. Everyone's good. Everyone.

Then I'll definitely have Word of Honor. Just like TGCF, it's a really good balance between an interesting story (I was literally squirming in my seat while impatiently waiting for things to be revealed, enjoying every second of it) and a subtle romance that was still obvious enough to make me wonder what the hell happened with censorship in this drama. Not that I'm complaining though.

Almost all the characters are incredibly good. They have depth to them, all the main ones have either a satisfying backstory or a beautifully crafted development.

And this is it for the ranking. I wrote way more than I should have, but oh well.

After that, it's a tie between Mo Dao Zu Shi and Scum Villain. I don't want to favor one over the other, because I genuinely like them the same. Scum Villain is really underrated, and while I understand it somewhat, it's really unfair.

MDZS (and The Untamed) has a story that draws you to it, especially if you (like me) have an obsession with all things dark and spooky and terrifying like the demonic cultivation in this, like the whole mystery they have to solve with body parts leading them to the solution. The drama, as good as it was, really didn't do justice to the spook factor of using dismembered parts of a corpse to move around.

SVSSS is straight up weird, literally an isekai but make it Chinese. I think the best part of it is Shen Yuan panicking and cussing everyone out every time something happens around him, though... I really loved the story and the way it played out. I especially liked how the novel kept mentioning Proud Immortal Demon Way and compared the events of that book to the events that were happening in that book's world.

But why do I prefer Word of Honor to them? Well, it's simple. There's some aspects of the romance that don't resonate well with me.

WangXian is a beautiful couple, and they deserve all the happiness in the world (they have a canonic son!!!!!!!!), but Wei WuXian's initial obliviousness made me really uncomfortable at times. Not because he didn't know Lan WangJi was in love with him (the fool! thank goodness for Guanyin Temple), but because he kept teasing Lan WangJi about it while the latter was drunk. I mean, I get it. If you don't know, you don't realize what you're doing. But as a person that easily suffers from people making fun of me behind my back... it kinds struck a nerve. I still love them to pieces, though, they're so good together.

BingQiu, well... this is a rollercoaster of a couple. Again, I absolutely love them together, but some parts come off almost as scenes where consent is thrown to the wind. As a reader you know Shen QingQiu is willing and in love (gods, they married each other, I'd be a fool to say the opposite), but there should be a limit to how many times a willing person should say "No" in such a novel. This is mostly me being my aro/ace self, though. I don't really understand what goes on in the world of intimacy between people because I (literally) don't give a fuck, so I'm probably reading too much where there's too little. Don't take this as me not liking BingQiu, I'm in love with them and I desperately need more content.

Favorite plot twists, eh? Okay, big SPOILER ALERT from here onwards. And I mean it. BIG. SPOILER. ALERT.

Now, which main couple did I like the most?

Hualian. I don't even need to think about it. Bonus point because they're both out of their minds and the extras show it.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. I never have smiles so big and goofy in front of anything else, not even my own stuff. Hualian genuinely makes me happy.

Stop reading if you haven't finished all four of these, please.

...

Okay, here I go.

WoH:

Wen KeXing faking his death and telling basically everyone but Zhou ZiShu.

The villain being Zhao Jing; I was actually fooled and thought the main bastard of the series was Gao Chong.

Episode 35, and I'm not saying anything else. Although, as soon as that son of a bitch put his hands on Cao Weining's face like that, I genuinely knew what was going to happen.

The hairpin being the key for the armory. That was so stunning I had to pause the episode for a second and take a walk around the house.

MDZS:

Jin GuangYao being the villain. And being an amazing villain, on top of that.

Nie Huaisang. Fuck's sake, that man fooled the entire fandom just like that. I don't think many people realized he was the one behind everything.

The golden core transplant reveal. I'm sure that more experienced readers and viewers (aka people that had read/watched a ton more cultivation world stuff) had hints of it, but when I watched The Untamed I never read/watched anything remotely close to this genre. It hit me like a brick and I sat in front of the screen in shock.

SVSSS:

Shang QingHua being Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. It's such a silly thing, but it made me pause for a good five minutes. I wasn't expecting it in the slightest.

The whole thing with the Old Palace Master. The man belongs to the dumpster he never got thrown into.

Tianlang-Jun not actually being the villain. Poor demon, he just wanted to continue with the questionable hobby of reading porn and daydreaming about Shen QingQiu's relationships.

I think I had another one, but it's late and I'm probably forgetting it.

TGCF:

Oh boy, where do I belong? Ah yes, the entirety of book 4. Took me out on the spot.

Jun Wu being Bai WuXiang completely blew me away. That was probably the biggest plot twist in the history of plot twists.

Also, Ling Wen knowing, and her being the creator of the Brocade Immortal.

Fu Yao and Nan Feng being Feng Xin and Mu Qing. For some reason, even if it's kinda obvious when you take a good look at them, it never clicked before being revealed.

On the same note, Ming Yi being He Xuan, and the Earth Master being actually dead. What a ride that arc has been for me.

One of the most important details, however... I got it myself. The ring Hua Cheng gives to Xie Lian. I see so many people saying that they didn't expect the ring to be his ashes, but I did something I generally can't stop myself from doing. I guessed something tremendously important by accident, something I do with many many books so I can ruin the experience for myself. I was literally sitting down, taking a break from reading (I devoured TGCF in 3 days, I needed that break lol), and all of a sudden this goddamn revelation descend upon me like the holy spirit, completely out of the blue. I just sat up, looked at the screen, and went "the ring is is fucking ashes, isn't it?", and completely ruined the surprise for myself.

And this is it.

If there's more I forgot (probably) I don't know. For now, this is my answer. Way too long, as always.

[np-c]

Another issue with Ayaka's quest.

or I finally finished her quest like three days ago and though I liked the second half better I also stumbled into one line of dialogue that just... what's wrong with Inazuma plot-wise?

So. First half of her quest we helping her get closure with her mother. It feels like something that should be happening much later down the line because right now all these friendship bits feel forced but this is not what wanna talk about. So, mother.

We find out the whole 'she couldn't act like herself so she made a very secret diary'. Dramatic, kinda understandable and pretty sad and it was then when I was hit with a realisation that this is the first time we actually get involved and trying to resolve someone's family drama (even if one half of the conflict is already dead) and don't just watch it from the sidelines (and Diona's hangout event is probably the only other time we get particularly close to it, not counting NPC's family dramas bcs there's a lot of those).

And this is when she should've said something about family *insert meme* and she does mention her brother but it's... really fleeting and felt like the first time she actually mentioned him at all, so it's less of family is important and I care about my brother and more of hey I also have a brother. A random NPC told me more about him than Ayaka.

Which wouldn't be a problem at all if not the ending of the quest.

I said that I like the second half better (about the festival) and I meant it. But Ayaka's quest is actually three little quests in a trench coat.

The first one, about her mother and her estrangement from people and nothing else. The second one, with a sudden festival, and not just a festival, oh no, it's the last day of the festival. And the last with... dancing in the woods. It's kinda an ending to the second part except it doesn't have that 'I wanna keep festive atmosphere for a little longer so let's have a walk' feeling, because the whole festival came out of nowhere in the first place and then it was too short to get a feel of it, so naturally that walk came out of nowhere too.

And then, and it's my "favourite" part, we suddenly started talking about Traveler's missing twin? Which in itself is fine, we made a drawing on that wishing thingy after all, except Traveler doesn't really talk about their twin at all except saying that yes, their twin is missing and then looking at the sky with a sad face. That's not even an issue, the issue is with Ayaka going all 'oh I understand importance of the family I don't know what I would've done without my brother', like what. You do? All I know is that you had a really weird estranged relationships with your mother and just a fact that you have a brother. Good to know that you give a fuck about your family and a brother but getting that information at the literal end of the quest?

There's nothing leading to this! And there could be! Her whole quest is a mess that could be easily fixed but they locked themselves into this timeframe before Chapter II and decided to just put a speedrun of Ayaka's romance as her quest.

[char-lotteral]

Spill the tea. Don't worry about it being long XD

This has been in my ask box for a while now, and I keep forgetting to respond to some of my anons, so im sorry.... x))

This'll be a little debunk between Nart's feelings for Sak and Hina but first, LISTEN HERE

This isn't a breeding ground for discourse or shipping wars or whatever tf negativity you have going on, I just wanna ramble my thoughts. This is an innocent post and if you disagree with it, well--i really dont care :DD

Anw, here are my thoughts as to how different Naruto's feelings are for Sakura and Hinata

I just randomly thought of making this longass essay because apparently, there's been another "war" over on narutwt with NS vs. NH and ohmyGODDDDD, WHO CARESSSSS. SHUT THE FUCK UPPP PLEASEEE.

this shit should've ended in shippuden, I hate it here

If youre an nh fan, please I beg of you, let ppl ship ns if they want to, its really not that hard. It's so embarrassing seeing nh fans go rogue whenever they see an ns related post. Like please stop being rude to ns shippers, let ppl ship their drawings, who tf cares. Ur embarrassing the fandom ://

Okay so i think i wanna start off with how Nart fell for Sakura. They were kids. Kindergartners even. He saw Sakura as the "pretty, smart, popular girl" and like the attention deprived child that he is, he chose he wanted to be with her. It was a CRUSH. An innocent and childish one at that.

Did he love her? Yes. Was he in love with her? Debatable tbh. He was infatuated with her. It's a normal infatuation vs. real love type of shit.

I mean, he was too busy to even focus on himself and with the whole Sauce drama, so i doubt he even had the time to even sort out his own romantic feelings. I'm not even sure if his feelings for Sakura were really that deep rooted as what alot of fans claim it to be.

BECAUSE BECAUSE GETTHIS. If Naruto was really that in love with Sak, why didn't he introduce him to Minato when he was about to depart? If he was really that confident for his feelings for Sakura, then why didn't he share those thoughts to one the most essential things his mother imparted to him?

The only thing similar between Sakura and Kushina are their hot headedness. Even kishi himself admitted that scene with the girlfriend thingy was a herring. Even freaking Tsunade admitted that if Naruto were to be with someone as willful as him, they'd be butting heads all the time.

Do they have a special bond? Yes. Would they work out together as a couple? Yeah, as a bickering married one

And another thing, remember the fake confession scene? Sakura said "I love you" to Naruto. She said those words that Naruto himself has been "dying" to hear, so why didn't he get all ecstatic?

Because he knew she was lying!

Exactly!! He knew she was lying. He knew he'd never have a chance with her. He knew the extent of her feelings for Sasuke and respected it. He didn't act on it, he joked around with dates and what not but there was never any impactful romantic scene between them. Oh and shouldn't romantic scene have i dunno; mutual romance?

Theyre "the most developed ship" but Sakura has established mulitiple times that she was only in love with Sasuke. Narusaku was just as one sided as the other ships in shippuden but some of you aren't ready for that concersation.

Naruto would get rejected every damn minute or at every "moment" they had. How is that mutual??

They just had the upper hand because theyre mcs and they had the most screentime, let's be real

And what I absolutely hate the most about how people perceive Naruto's feelings for Sakura is that they see him as this pathetically in love, obsessed weirdo who only chose Hinata as a rebound or a second choice.

NEWS FLASH

PEOPLE MOVE ON. IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS

It's not rocket science, it's not some philosophical shit, it's healthy and normal and realistic.

Istg some diehard shippers are too detached from reality that they can't even grasp the concept of moving on from a crush.

They act as if Naruto didn't give a flying fuck for Hinata in the entire series or that he barely knew her name. I mean c'mon, it's self explanatory¿¿¿ He moved on. Same with Ino with Sasuke, they both moved on.

How👏is👏it👏that👏hard👏to👏understand

And I'd also like to compare the scenes with Naruto being rejected by Sakura wiith Naruto being rejected by Hinata.

Naruto gets rejected by Sakura - he gets beaten up - He laughs it off- He moves on

Naruto gets rejected by Hinata - crippling depression - looks like shit - loses all motivation - fights for the girl

Yeah, I'll leave that to you

I also see some say that Naruto needed a partner who could keep him in line and reprimand him for the stupid stuff he does.

Pft, like what? A mom?

What Naruto needs, as someone brash and acts on impulse time to time, is someone patient and understanding and considerate. Everything he didn't have growing up. He needs a partner, not someone who berates him for being all goofy and for being himself. Hinata in a way is kinda like a neutralizer.

Also, I think its important to remember that there was a TWO YEAR TIME SKIP AFTER THE WAR WHERE NARUTO AND HINATA CANONICALLY GREW CLOSER.

Man, none of this would have been up for discussion if Kishi just knew how to develop fucking romance between het couples. If we're being honest, sns would've made the most sense. Im not even kidding. Sns would've the only endgame couple that'd make sense. And this is coming from a person who loves NH xD

thus ends my ramblings :DD

I regret ever delving into the world of Naruto. Now I can't fucking escape

[ifyoulovemeletmebinge]

Why do you hate Joey? And please don't spoil beyond season 2 for me.

hi! 

this is my first ever ask so this is kinda cool alrighty get ready bc this is going to be a LONG post. i’ll try my best to avoid spoilers. 

why i dislike joey potter from dawson’s creek: 

ok so I think what my growing hatred for Joey Potter mainly boils down to is just the fact that she is the type of character who has no personality, she is simply empty. when she does want something it’s because it helps her only, and she’s very selfish. this is hard to explain in the context of s2 which is where you are, but i am almost done with the last season and i feel this is where her character has turned to focus on over the course of the entire show. 

i will say, i completely respect other’s opinion of joey, mine is just that she’s not my favorite by any means in the show. i actually think she’s my least favorite. so i’ll try to explain that! 

let’s start with s1: 

- i actually enjoyed joey a lot in s1, i thought she was fun! she’s sassy and her “im beautful yet unaware of it” thing kinda worked. this aspect of her only works in the beginning though (since she’s young and that’s the entire point of being beautiful and young) and something i find aggravating about later seasons is this continued theme of unawareness that doesn’t fit with her character anymore. by that point, SHE SHOULD KNOW SHE’S HOT OKAY. 

- another s1 point is her relationship with Dawson. i was a strong shipper until ~certain future events~ happened because i liked them together. Girl Next Door is in love with Best Friend who’s oblivious to it, it’s a cute trope! i think for the first season, their focus on Joey’s suffering from just recently discovering her feelings for Dawson and trying to navigate them made for a good complex storyline for the Lead Female of the show. there was an exploration of female sentiment there that i personally haven’t seen a lot of, so i was interested. her relationship with Dawson in s1 was overall pretty good bc it set up excellent foundations character and plot wise for the show. 

- my only criticism (more like character-choice-to-eye-roll-to) for her relationship with Dawson in s1 is her treatment of Jen because of it. we all know Dawson falls for Jen super quick and that’s not his fault or Jen’s or Joey’s yet she chooses to blame Jen and antagonizes her the whole season because of it. basically, she was a bitch to Jen. now, that’s not to say that it didn’t make sense because it did, and i think it worked well since we need some Conflict here, but thinking back on it now after watching almost the whole show, her choices and behaviors towards Jen in s1 shift from a childish jealously funny thingy to outright unlikeable aspect of her character that is only built upon as the seasons continue. i would argue this is the beginning spark or preview into the Bitch she will eventually become. 

moving on to s2: i personally don’t remember much about joey from s2 bc my brain is Pacey Witter centered and he really shined during s2 so i apologize if i get something wrong, i’m outside my lane here teehee

- i feel that joey’s character in s2 starts it’s shift into Bitch Land and also Lost Land. this is where i feel they started to lose control of her, but something i find interesting about that is that the loss of control is extremely subtle up to the point where when you finally look back in retrospect, you can find those seeds being planted as early as s2. 

- let’s tackle her relationship with Dawson in s2. there’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s start with the fact that it started REALLY WELL!!! our queen was getting the boy of her dreams!!!!!!!!!!! and good for her, but ofc, because this is a tv show and they need drama for the ratings (i’m guessing :)) everything falls apart very quickly. i would also argue that the choice they made to break Dawson and Joey up in s2 was very definitive and formative for her character for the rest of the series; the seeds were planted when they broke up. 

- her reasons for breaking up with Dawson were understandable **at first** in my opinion, there wasn’t much reason at all to break up with him. yes, she needed to find herself (just like any young person does), but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t do it with Dawson. i actually thought they would do great at discovering her together, because i think Dawson is supportive and sensitive enough to help her. her excuse that she can’t do her art while dating Dawson was bullcrap. i could go on and on about why that is, but the best evidence of it is the fact that she hopped from Dawson to Jack with no hard feelings and continued with her art the same as before. her art didn’t get any better when she switched boyfriends so she really can’t use it as a scapegoat to explain breaking up with Dawson. 

- this break-up and then her romance with Jack is what really gets me about her in s2 though. i think Dawson actually commented on it: she wanted to be alone to find herself, but then she started dating Jack almost immediately after that decision. this is where Joey first starts contradicting herself. this is where she first starts her ever-running theme of not knowing what she wants from her life at any point in time. for inexplainable reasons, her character is confused and she has to lead everyone else along and confuse them with her. honestly, poor Dawson. she both Wants and Doesn’t Want things, and her inability to stick to one is annoying to watch. and it only gets worse! 

- her mistreatment of Jen continues, but what really gets me about her treatment of other characters in s2 is her relationship with Jack after he comes out. Jack has become one of my favorite characters in the show and his coming-out arc is (in my opinion) done extremely well for a gay character at that time. we don’t even have arcs like those THESE DAYS OF THE 21ST CENTURY WTFF!!!!!! it’s also a very important arc to me. i can’t cite all the evidence, but her friendship with him after he comes out is so messed up. she constantly acts like that weird Straight Girl Who Needs a Gay Best Friend. fucked up. she always apologizes and goes back on it after Jack has to snap at her multiple times, but it still makes her unlikable and inconsiderate to anyone but herself. Joey starts showing through her relationship with Jack that she only cares about herself. when she was dating him, she did it to feel good about HER art not because she really truly liked him, and when he came out, she wanted him to be a Stereotypical Gay Man for HERSELF, not because it was what Jack wanted, and he outright told her various times. she’s selfish. she doesn’t care about breaking Dawson’s heart and using Jack, she only sees her own benefit when she’s playing with these boys as if they’re not real people with feelings. this is another running theme that worsens her character throughout the seasons. 

- by the end of s2 i think her and Dawson are back together (i’m honestly not sure i was invested in Pacey <3) but then the whole thing with her dad happens and that was really interesting to me. her decision to breakup with Dawson in the s2 finale after what he did.... MADE SENSE. i was kind of sad about it, but it was right!!!!! she had to do that!!!! she went through a lot of trauma bc of it and being with Dawson would just remind her of it, it wasn’t fair to her!!!!! i thought, hmmm this is the cataclysm of their relationship here again. this would allow her to finally find herself after being lost all of s2 and then she can be with Dawson again. it was all set up to match together perfectly. s3 proved me wrong :) but that’s for another post. 

Joey is, at her core, an empty shell of a character. she starts off well and full of personality, but either bc of writing choices, or the audience reaction at the time they made this show, those aspects of her character start chipping away and she just becomes this unattainable sorcerer of men, who’s too good for any boy, but never good enough to be by herself. this is not the type of woman i personally enjoy watching, it gets tough watching her break everyone’s heart one by one just bc she “doesn’t know, isn’t sure.” it’s repetitive and makes for crappy drama effect. it’s frustrating. 

i’m sorry this is so long, i hope this makes it clear why she’s my least favorite character in Dawson’s Creek. again, i respect all opinions of her character. hey! if you love Joey Potter, then cool for you!!!! she’s just not that character for me, and looking just at s1-2, these are my reasons why. 

[undertaleandyou]

Sorry I never specified, but for the knight au thingy, I meant individually win them over, not as a poly or anything

Oh, I see! I sort of saw it like a reverse harem, not necessarily a poly, sorry for the misunderstanding! ~ Goblin

For Ink, I could see him trying to win you over with little love notes or small art pieces (all anonymously). Aside from that, the rest is pretty similar to what I wrote in the previous ask. He and Dream would occasionally team up - seeing that their rivals are Error and Nightmare - only of course to learn that these two are also technically rivals too and their plans always backfire because of this.

Error isn’t exactly the greatest at expressing that he likes you, so he always makes it seem like he hates you or has no interest in you. However, on rare occasions, when the two of you are alone, he likes to talk to you. He likes listening to your voice and you can tell by how his shoulders relax. Of course, he’s also the one who sabotages himself more times than sabotaging others.

Fresh thinks everyone is being stupid about this whole thing, but he also thinks you’re sort of being vain for not being direct with them (or he just has a low impression of you to start). He’s passive-aggressive with everyone and he really couldn’t care if he makes himself look bad or not. However, he is always honest. This means, when he does have a moment with you, he has to admit, you do look... Pretty nice....

Nightmare isn’t great at this whole romance thing either. So he does what he does best, try to scare you. Corner you, have you all to himself and then.... Then.... (Yeah, he didn’t think this through. Here he has some lame excuse and makes a retreat). He and Error will occasionally team up, with the understanding that they will only work together to put the others in their place.

Dream likes to spend his mornings with you! Sharing a nice, warm cup of tea with some biscuits and friendly conversation just puts him in the best mood to try his best again today! He loves these little moments with you and cherishes them dearly. 

(Again, I know you didn’t include him, but I’m adding him in too) Cross is honestly the best person to go to if you need a break from these reverse harem shenanigans. He usually sticks to himself, and despite being associated with Nightmare, it’s pretty clear he’s his own person. He also avoids most of this drama altogether, so if you need to clear your mind or need someone to vent to, he’s your guy. Little do you know he does in fact have feelings for you too, he’s just the worst at showing it. But he does like that you feel safe around him....

[readersguidetotheuniverse]

Folie a Trois: a group read of... More Than Maybe by Erin Hahn

The supporting characters

Ariadna: From Zack to Meg, Phil to Marcus... I really liked that the supporting characters had background and depth... for a YA romance novel, that it is. Ok, they are not the deepest, most exceptional characters –they are a little bit stereotyped, and everything is sooo rose-coloured tinted–, but I appreciate how the relationships between them are depicted and how every one of them has their own unique quirks and background story. Nevertheless, I must add... I think Hahn’s attempt to make all the characters these goody-two-shoes has made some characters sort of a decaf version of what they should realistically be, see Charlie Greenly, Phil Josephs, Cullen... At times they were so soft they became even boring to me. I understand Hahn’s religious views, but honestly, no one is that good.

Alicia: I liked the supporting characters quite a lot, actually, all of them. In many young adult novels you find rather flat secondary characters that only exist to complement the main characters, but not in this one. All of them were complex, with their own defined personalities and their own stories. There were a few moments when I got a bit irritated by someone's actions, Cullen uploading Luke's song behind his back, for example. But real people are flawed and make mistakes so it's only fair that fictional characters do, too. 

Marina: First off, I have to say I loved all the secondary characters. I have to agree with Ariadna though, they are not overly deep but they get you right on the feels. I especially enjoyed seeing the different relationships between them –Zach and Cullen <3–. To be honest I found it a bit frustrating that they all kept telling Vada how amazing she is and how well she’s doing but it takes Luke, a person whom she’s officially met recently, to stand up to her dead-beat father. Talking about fathers, Phil is an amazing father figure and I’m really glad he at least encouraged Vada to follow her dreams. On a side note, can I just say that the first time I read about Cullen and Zach I pictured a more lanky version of Emmett Cullen dating Zeke (from high School Musical)? And that’s why I found it hilariously amusing when they started talking about Teen Wolf. Whatever happened to those DVDs?!

The ‘Bad Apple’ club aka Charlie Greenly

Ariadna: We all grasp to certain extent how business —corporate, big-money businesses— work, and it is understandable Charlie’s nasty partners took advantage of a teen’s rage burst, but, oh, man, how it bothered me when they tried to ruin poor Phil’s fund-raiser... What bothered me the most, though, is how Charlie Greenly was that blind, how he couldn’t see, beyond his own interests, how important the Loud Lizard was for Luke, his friends and for Ann Arbor, or to what extent the whole ‘Break for You’ issue bothered his own son. I honestly think his heroic act at the end doesn’t quite redeem him of the harm he has done. Besides, Charlie was supposed to be a Punk-rock star... What’s really left of that personality? Has her wife and kids completely transformed him into a dull wimp? Not quite believable, this character is. 

Alicia: Charlie made me so mad at him that sometimes I wanted to throw the book across the room. I understand parents always think they know best, it's in their parent DNA. But it was really frustrating and irritating how he kept trying to get Luke to do whatever he wanted, without considering what his son actually wanted. He kept trying to convince Luke to do something he had stated time and time he didn't want to do and was not going to do. He used him for his own interests and treated him kinda badly just cause he didn't fit with his own expectations for him. Realistic as it could be for most people, it's still shitty. It's almost cathartic how he redeems himself at the end by quitting Bad Apple to support his son but that doesn't change his shitty behavior towards Luke during most of the novel. 

Marina: I mean Charlie didn’t seem the brightest of the Greenly family, to be honest. I think he should probably listen to his sons more (and his wife). I find it hard to believe he didn’t know what he was getting into. He was a famous punk-rocker at a time where you had to be clever and sharp-witted, like, is he smart enough to stay away from hard drugs and keep his career afloat (and later become an accomplished music producer) but not know how to choose business partners? Apparently. And talking about his previous life as a punk-star… Can he stop trying to live his life through Luke? It finally dawned on him in the end, yes, but throughout the book Luke (and later Cullen) explicitly told him he didn’t want to be famous, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour!

Soundtrack

Ariadna: While some of the tracks on this book’s OST are not my cup of tea (see Demi and Taylor), I must confess: I’ve been listening to TøP the whole week. Hahn got me at Car Radio *shrugs*. Working in the book industry, I’ve always felt books, when possible, should offer something extra. I really love that this book, even more considering it is addressed to teens and YA, offers this little something to connect it to the readers’ real world, to make the story even more realistic. I think it is a loss that the book itself doesn’t include a QR code or a link to a playlist itself, but it is an easy search away in Spotify, thanks to some nice reader that has already put it up!

Alicia: I just had this one little issue with the music/artists mentioned in the novel: Vada hates Stevie Nicks and consequently I hate Vada. There won't be any hate towards Stevie Nicks in my presence. She is an excellent artist and I will not hear otherwise. Other than that I actually loved how important music in general is in the novel and how many real actual songs are shared along the story. I expected to find mostly alternative/indie bands so there was no surprise there. And music can tell a lot about someone so it was interesting to see the music Luke and Vada listen to, to understand them better. Also it was really nice to get so many songs in so many different styles to actually discover new songs myself. I'm really happy about how music really does play an important part in the book. 

Marina: I’ve mentioned I like it when authors add their little soundtracks to the books but this one goes far beyond that. You get to listen to the songs throughout the characters’ actions and feelings and the music is not only an add-on but it becomes part of the plot. Which, granted, it’s a book about a girl who writes reviews about bands and a boy that writes songs, how can music not be part of the book? But it goes beyond the “here’s a song that inspired this chapter/book/scene” to a basic subplot. Coincidentally, we all looked up different songs on Spotify because we hadn’t heard them before and we found a playlist made by a reader, we hope you enjoy it too!

Vada and Luke’s relationship

Ariadna: It is interesting to read a YA romance novel in which the main action doesn’t revolve 100% around the romance. It is way healthier than most: both Vada and Luke have clear goals and motivations that are not biased by their relationship, they motivate and encourage each other, there is no narcissistic chauvinist - submissive flower dynamics going on —thank the gods–, and they are supercute and honest with themselves. However —I always have one of these–, it is still a naive teen relationship, mostly in terms of the plotting and the writing. Surprisingly —see the irony— they both have had crushes on each other for years, but they haven’t acted upon it until now. They NEVER fail, get mad, do any bad deeds... ANYTHING. Are they even teenagers? Honestly, I hate when the characters in a book are these holier-than-thou perfection vessels. Added to the not-really-that-big-of-a-deal problems (what happened with the instagram issue? What about Vada’s funds for college? They don’t even really get *really* mad because of the Bad Apple thingy...), they feel kind of bland and not too realistic for my tastes. 

Alicia: At the beginning I thought it was a bit rushed, how quickly they trusted each other considering they had barely interacted before. Even if they had a crush on the other that doesn't mean they actually knew that person, not really. As they spent more time together and got to know each other, their relationship evolved pretty organically and naturally, to a point when it just made sense. It was really cute to see how they got closer through awkward encounters and how their passion for music helped them connect and relate to the other. Having read many young adult romances, it gets old very fast. The stories get kinda predictable and hard to believe. This one also had some predictable moments, almost all of them do, but overall it was a really nice love story, one I could actually believe. 

Marina: To be honest, I expected this book to be less about the music and more about the relationship between Luke and Vada. I think what Erin Hahn accomplished in this book is to show a much more mature relationship than I expected. I thought this would be your typical YA-Romance with a lot of drama and kissing, but instead I got a slow-burn story (so slow, it felt like moving through molasses) with depth, insecurities and, yes, drama. I think both these characters are more mature than expected on a YA romance novel and it was surprisingly refreshing. You still get some teenage-y sub-plots, i.e. the prom or even the 15-minutes of fame; but it doesn’t take away from the blossoming relationship between Luke and Vada.

The Grass is Greenly and Behind the Music 

Ariadna: I must be growing too old for this s**t, but I don’t get the whole podcast/blog thing. I get it, social networking does this kind of thing: turning a nobody into an internet sensation in a matter of days, but... I agree with Alicia, it is too much of a coincidence (one of the deus-ex-machina I so much hate) that both the main characters are internet-known... in a blog, nonetheless! Maybe Hahn could have used precisely this internet presence to make Vada and Luke meet each other, instead of the too-worn-out high-school cliché. And Marina has made me think... maybe some interludes as Cullen’s podcasts, letting us know some behind-the-scenes gossip (The Lindsay issue, Luke and Vada’s first kiss becoming viral, and so on...), would have spiced up the novel a bit more.

Alicia: Okay here's the part I just didn't believe and kind of threw me off a bit. What are the chances of a music blog and a podcast, both run by teenagers of the same age in the same city in the same bar, becoming really popular and actually viral. Who even reads blogs anymore anyway? (Says while writing in a blog). It was just quite hard to believe so many people read Behind the Music that even ROLLING STONE became interested. Yeah sure this extremely known successful music magazine wants a fresh out of high school blogger to work for them. And then the podcast. What could two teens have to say to have a podcast so popular that when Cullen uploads Luke's song it literally gets millions of reproductions and attracts attention everywhere. And both of them being run by two people working in the same place, going to the same high school… the world is not actually that small. Sorry it's just kind of extremely unrealistic and didn't particularly like that part. 

Marina: Seeing the “behind-the-scenes” of the day to day of a podcast was very interesting. I guess it would have been better if Cullen told the story as he is the one that does most of the work. Also, how did they get that famous? Is it just because of their dad? I don’t really get it. On the other side, I find it incredibly unbelievable that a teenage girl has that much input on a music blog that isn’t even hers and gets to go to concerts and stuff like that. I get that Phil is a cool guy but how come the blog is so famous and he doesn’t really care about it or mentions it much during the book besides sending Vada places? I just don’t understand that.

Overall

Ariadna: Honestly, I’m not one for YA romance novels, I think I’ve outgrown them by far, and they usually bore me. That said, this book has surprised me for good. It is a light read, doesn’t follow the genre clichés, it doesn’t make everything revolve around the main characters’ love interest, the supporting characters have personalities of their own and it has a wide-ranged well-put playlist, which I think is great for teens and young adults to read. I particularly didn’t like the religious issues coming up from time to time, but, overall, this is the best written book of the three we’ve already read for Folie a Trois, and that’s a lot to say! 

Alicia: Overall it was a really cute book. Initially it took me a while to get into it cause the plot wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, that was a tad disappointing. But then once you begin knowing the characters and they begin to know each other as well it's quite captivating and easy and quick to read. I really enjoyed the love story, I loved how diverse the characters are and how they interacted. I really like how the plot develops, too. If you're looking for a soft, cute, easy enjoyable read I definitely recommend this one. 

Marina: As most YA books that I read, it was entertaining but it didn't change my life. I really did like Vada and Luke's relationship, as I said I find it more mature for this genre; the music was a big highlight and the drama wasn't overwhelmingly dumb (as is the case in some other books). Overall a good book for summer and a light read for any other season ;)

[paintedrecs]

For the fandom talk meme thingy: C (not trying to start drama I swear), I, K, R, and X. =D

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Hmmm, there are a few ways of answering this. One is by listing all my NOTPs, which would be excessively long and ultimately boring because it essentially boils down to “anyone else with either member of my OTP.” I monoship my primary pairings, so I’m pretty strict on what I do and do not like. 

(With the way fandom is now, I should clarify that NOTP means that I personally do not like a ship and I therefore go out of my way to avoid it - by muting terms, carefully filtering tags and search results, curating my own space, etc. It doesn’t mean I think the ship is badwrong or that anyone else should stop shipping it. It just means I do not ever want to see it.)

This feels a little less specific on that front, though, maybe more just: people like this and I’m meh about it?

So Allydia comes to mind. I don’t hate it, and if the Sterek’s good enough I’ll still read a fic with them as a background pairing, but I don’t ever like it as a romantic ship. While I ship Lydia with lots of different characters, including Cora, I’ve always seen Allison as straight, so I suppose that’s part of it? And I love Lydia & Allison as bffs - I see them as entirely platonic, like Scott & Stiles, so introducing romance just doesn’t work for me.

Another one is Sheriff Stilinski/Peter Hale. I...I don’t understand it. Unlike the last answer, this background pairing will prevent me from reading a Sterek-central fic.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

This turned into a complicated and kind of roundabout answer, so I’m putting the rest of the questions under a long-post cut!

I stopped frequenting tumblr for two main reasons:

that whole weird purge thing that made me think everyone was leaving, so I just gave up, which might’ve been premature cause it seems like folks are still going strong on here

the emergence of antis, specifically within the Voltron fandom (although they’re everywhere at this point)

There’s a saying in fandom now: 

“Why is the younger fandom generation like this?!??” “Tumblr raised them.”

For me, for years, tumblr was a really wonderful space where I had a lot of great conversations and read very thoughtful threads that helped me to learn some important things about myself, other people, and a world much wider than my own.

But I was an adult when I joined this site, and it really does seem like there’s a whole new crop of kids who have no actual context for ideas like social justice, the need for canonical representation in our media, and a lot of other things that eventually got folded into a big ball of disconnected rhetoric that they now fling as hard as they can at the heads of fandom creators who are committing the ultimate sin of creating content for ships they don’t like.

It’s late, and I don’t feel like getting into a whole Essay Rant about all that.

So on an entirely personal level, I quit running appreciatejack (my Check Please/zimbits/Jack Zimmermann blog) because someone sent me really vile hate for daring to ship Shiro/Keith from Voltron (two unrelated adults in a cartoon). It’s why I turned my ask boxes/anon/chats off on most of my blogs, and then eventually just...got tired of running them.

When I started up appreciatederek, I got a couple asks from people who wanted to know if it was going to be multiship or just Sterek, and when I said it was Sterek, they presumably went off to find other things they were into, because I never heard from them again. Y’know, the reasonable reaction. And then the rest of it was wonderful: finding content for it, and getting responses from people who enjoyed that content.

I thought appreciateshiro would be similar, but it was all so messy from the very start. The Sheith tag was FULL of hate. I was initially checking it every day, trying to find artists and writers and gif-makers to reblog and encourage and support, like I’d done in Sterek fandom, but instead I’d spend literal hours blocking people who came into that tag just to talk about how much they hated the ship.

Every day, I’d look for content for my OTP, and every day I’d come away from it angry and sad and frustrated. I never seemed to run out of people to block. And they never, ever seemed to run out of hate.

It was exhausting. It made me reluctant to go on tumblr at all. And eventually I just...sorta stopped.

So the answer to this question is more, I guess, “fandom made me stop liking tumblr, and in the process I stopped liking most fandoms.”

I’m sure you can kinda tell from the fandoms I’m currently the most invested in.

I love Sterek, and I will always love Sterek. Part of that’s the ship itself, of course, and part is because I had an incredible fandom experience with it. People within this fandom are still really great - always so welcoming and super excited about new content, even so many years on.

Otherwise, my current fandoms are kiiiiinda tiny:

Xanatowen (Gargoyles), which currently consists of exactly 2 people and 12 fics (3 of which are mine).

Trevorcard (Castlevania), which only has ~200 fics on AO3.

Taibani (Tiger & Bunny), which is an oldish fandom with only ~600 fics on AO3.

Remember, I came from a fandom that has SIXTY THOUSAND fics.

So while I feel very lonely and very sad about the low content levels in these fandoms, they’ve also given me the space to let go of some of my fandom hurt & anger and remember what it’s like to just...peacefully love something. I really miss just loving things and talking about loving those things and searching for other people who also love those things without running into....thousands upon thousands of people who HATE that you love that thing.

(Until I wrote all that out just now, I actually hadn’t realized how much this had still been hanging over me, or why I was so hesitant to come back to “reclaim” a space I’d once been super active and happy in. Essay over! Next questions.)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Answered here!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Answered here! 

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Found family. This is probably a big part of why Sterek was my first real fandom, because the idea of Pack makes it incredibly natural to build out relationships beyond just the central romantic pairing. 

It doesn’t have to be a werewolf thing, though. I’m honestly not hugely fond of the whole puppy piles concept - I’m less interested in “biological urges make characters literally physically all snuggle up together in bed” than I am in the actual build of the friendships, and the concept of choosing people who will become the family you’ve been missing for whatever reason.

Maybe it’s reconnecting with biological family, or maybe it’s discovering that your friends have been filling that space for you all along, without you even fully realizing it. (The concept of “home” is another big one for me. Home is where your heart is etc etc.)

And hey! Now I can pull back in another question from earlier: about “pairings” that I might not have initially considered. As I suspected, I do have more! Mostly platonic.

For instance: Derek and Sheriff Stilinski becoming bffs. I thiiiink I can probably tie my ABSOLUTE LOVE of this concept back to HalfFizzbin’s can't be hateful, gotta be grateful. And then Cupboard Love really has to be the source of ALL my alive!Hales feels, which also includes folding Stiles into their family.

Fic is largely responsible for building out Derek’s relationship with Boyd, Erica, Isaac, his sisters...making them into an actual pack and friends and family in the way the show never bothered. And frankly while I don’t like canon!Scott at all at this point, I love his friendship with Stiles in fics, and I absolutely believe Stiles and Lydia would be amazing friends once he got past his crush on her. I’d point to another fic here, owlpostagain’s will to follow through, as the ultimate source for major Team Human feels.

So yeah. I’m always going to be drawn to stories about family, in whatever form that takes, particularly if it’s one that’s a little bit off the normal white-picket-fence path.

In Tiger & Bunny, it’s Barnaby joining the Kaburagi family, and learning how to be a dad and a friend to his new husband’s daughter.

In Gargoyles, I’m completely obsessed with the (canonical!) idea of a family that consists of a man, his wife, their son, and the chaotically loyal fae babysitter/tutor/third parent. It is not a stretch to tweak this the tiiiiiiniest bit to turn it into a nontraditional family structure of a man, his wife, his son, and his fae boyfriend. Honestly.

In Castlevania, the fic that made me sob my eyes out at one point does something the show would absolutely never. It gives Alucard the time to rebuild his physical home while befriending the people in the little town that crops up around it. It’s about Trevor and Alucard falling in love, but it’s also about them making a place for themselves in a world where that kind of comfort and stability and friendship is so badly needed.

I think we all kinda need that in our world right now. So I love being able to find it in fic, for the characters who’ve grown to mean something to me.

[chxoticmuses]

SHIP QUESTIONS THINGY

Status: Accepting

@streetsofsecrets​ said: our ships?? 🥺 ( Rose & Jerrold )

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?: Rose was housesitting and babysitting for the Scozzaris while they were on a trip and Nick brought Jerrold over one day.

What was their first impression of each other?: She didn’t think much of him at first. They never really talked since she was always focused on Cassandra, but the more vocal he started being with his crush the more annoying he became to her.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?: Violet thought he was a pretty nice guy and pushed Rose into giving him at least a chance or getting to know him. I feel like Minnie would encourage Rose to get with him too if she ever spoke about him with her. Probably even set them up on a date.

Who felt romantic feelings first?: Obvously, it was Jerrold.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?: For like the longest, and I’m talking about years, Rose denied any feelings she had for him. She was always torn between thinking that he was too nice for her or that he was disgustingly sweet.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?: I feel like Jerrold would believe it in heartbeat listing off all the reasons and evidence that he had to support that statement. While Rose on the other hand would be a little skeptical, but until lately agree since they did end up together after everything.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?: Technicalky both of them? Jerrold was the one who was like “Hey, do you want to be a thing?” And Rose was the one who confirmed it and actually put the boyfriend and girlfriend title to them.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?: Their first official first date didn’t happen until their adult years, but even then they decided to have some fun with it and go to this club that was like a restaurant and bar in one. They talked the whole night away reminiscing on memories and about their personal lives. It was a perfect environment for them, it was tame enough to not make Rose go crazy and she was so loosened up by the end of the night that he was able to convince her to come dance with him on the dance floor.

What was their first kiss like?: Rose was the one who initiated. They were sitting on the porch of her house together talking for a while. They were silent for a while, not knowing what tot all about next since they had talked about everything they could, so she seized the opportunity and pulled him in for a kiss. 100/10. The best kiss she’s ever had and she’s kissed a lot of people.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?: I think he deserves the title of being her first healthy relationship.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?: It’s not really a big one, she’s up to at least his shoulders but it’s still a noticeable one. As for age, she’s older than him by a couple of years. Yeah, she’s a cougar like that.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?: Errrm, I feel like neither of their families are really involved with their relationship like that. Rose’s family likes him a lot which is saying a lot since they usually hate everyone she brings home.

Who takes the lead in social situations?: Rose. She’s a lawyer, she just has to.

Who gets jealous easier?: Hmmm, the both of them seem like the jealous type to me. Rose sometimes gets scared that he’ll find someone better than her and leave her. When they were younger and he would be interested in anyone but her she would also get jealous, but try and brush it off. I can see him kinda lingering in the background, or either right next to her, staring someone down if they were talking to her in a way he deemed to be too flirty for his liking.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?: Surprisingly it was Rose. Not only does those words not come easy to her at all, but you would expect him to say it first after running after her all these years. They were sitting together one day and out of the blue she got the sudden urge to tell him that she loved him and so she did!

What are their primary love languages?: Touch! They’re always expressing their love for each other through touches. Whether it be a quick hand hold or a lingering hug, they’re always touching each other in some way.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?: Piggybacking of the last question thingy, they’re always touching each other in some way so PDA is a very common thing for them. Whether they’re standing there with their arms wrapped around each other’s or playfully repeatedly kissing each on the lips, they’re always just being affectionate with each other in public.

What are their favorite things to do together?: Dance! They dance in the kitchen while cooking, out of happiness when Rose wins a case, or for fun on date nights out.

Who’s better at comforting the other?: Jerrold is 100% better at comforting Rose. She tries her best, but genuinely comforting someone and showing affection outside of romance really isn’t her thing. He knows just what to say to talk her out of her moods or through her withdrawals.

Who’s more protective?: Jerrold. Rose is always getting herself into some type of drama or situation and he’s usually the one to save her or settle it for her. She’s a reckless person and he really worries for her.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?: Physcial all the way. Rose will barf on herself before she’s able to get any verbal affection out of her mouth. She just can’t do it, but she’s working on it for him. But for right now they’re a very physical couple.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?: All those R&B songs from the 90s/early 2000s that all our mamas be bumping.

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?: I feel like he’s the one with all the silly and creative nicknames while she just settles with Jerri or something simple like sweetie.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?: It was Rose, but it wasn’t really a proposal. She just proposed the idea of getting married to him and they decided to go through with it.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?: Rose didn’t want a big wedding at all so they stalled for a courthouse elopement with just the two of them present. Afterwards they had a big dinner and invited all their friends and family over.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?: I put them into a generator and at first it said triplets and immediately I was like “No!” Because there’s no way Rose would be able to handle that even with Jerrold’s help. So, I did it again and it gave them a baby boy! I feel like they would have just one since they’re already kinda older, unless they had a whoospie when they were younger. BUT, I feel like Rose would try to follow the flower theme and name him something like Aster or Cypress, but then decide like halfway through the pregnancy that those are ugly names and let Jerrold name him. He’s such a geeky kid that bursting with creativity and of course, spoiled to death by his parents. He really takes over his parents’ true identities and not the ones that they present to everyone else like the reckless lawyer or comical hitman.

Do they have any pets?: Pearla ISNT going anywhere any time soon and if she ever had offspring Rose would keep them too. But for a more family friendly pet I feel like they would get a cute little puppy.

Who’s the stricter parent?: Hmmmm, I think both of them are on the same level. They’re pretty chill and understanding parents since they didn’t have the best growing up and don’t want to reflect that, BUT they know when to step up and be parents and scold their children.

Who kills the bugs in the house?: Rose. They make her skin crawl, but she’s not scared of them. She’ll usually take care of them when she sees them.

How do they celebrate holidays?: Usually together at home. Rose will take the day off and spend the whole day snuggled up with him on the couch watching holiday themed movies. Sometimes they get invited to parties and they’ll go or even throw parties of their own if they’re feeling it.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?: Both of them. Someone’s alarm will go off and they’ll both move to turn it off so they can have more time together in bed cuddled up.

Who’s the better cook?: I feel like the both of them can cook really well…..but Rose is just a tad bit better because she’s always been a naturally good cook.

[onlynight-onlylight]

DNA

Words: 8,2K

Pairing: Taehyung x OC (Yerim)

Genre: fluff, College!AU, Soulmate!AU

Summary: An awkward person like you never try to be involved in any social interaction unless accompanied by your only two best friends at your side. It also means that you have no past relationship with any man. That alone makes you do not know what to do when your soulmate comes to your life in a sudden.

Yerim POV

 I wake up groggily in early morning. I am trying to get a clearer view of my own room while my mind is still hazy. My throat feels so dry that it hurts. I stare my bedroom wall blankly and images come to me one by one. My dream, just now, reveals everything. The sign dream of my half, like the other nights in this one month straight.

It feels more and more real every night until the point that I accept it without any fights. I even forget how scared I am on the first week of the continuous dreams. I forget that I end up waking up in the dawn, eyes dart anywhere to find anything that can calm me. But then I realize that it’s not the dream. It’s just me with my anxiety with something new, something unfamiliar. And when I think back to times that I finally calm down is merely because of his scent, I don’t freak out anymore. I’m just confused because all of these things are unusual.

I take the small navy note on the desk beside my bed. I write every little detail that I can remember after waking up so it can remind me every day that I have someone, somewhere, that will love me with the whole of his life.

Taehyung POV

 “Taehyung, where are you?” Jimin yells over the phone making me cringe. I pull away the phone until I think he’s done talking.

“I’m in Yeouido, taking photos a bit. Why?”

“Are you crazy? We have group meeting at 3 and you’ve been there since morning?”

Jimin’s words silence me. I let the words sinking since I don’t have anything in return. I know I haven’t been in my right mind since the dreams keep coming. All I can think is her. And here, one of many places that also appears in my dream. I remember walk around here hand in hand with her, only in my dreams. I sigh at the sudden sadness that filled my entire body.

“I’ll back to campus now. I still have 30 minutes, right? “Ugh whatever”

I only chuckle when he hangs up the call. I look around for the last time before leaving the park.

 I let out another deep sigh. I don’t mean to complain about anything but I really want to know who she is. This feeling of loving her is killing me because I can do it properly in real life. I look at all pictures that I printed out yesterday. I already collect many pictures and keep it save with me everyday. I can see her figure in every photo that I take with my mind. But in reality, I just take the empty space and hope she is there. Just like in every dream I have with her. I can see her smile even though I always cannot see her face.

“What should I do?”

Yerim POV

 “So you’re saying that he is the one?” ask me to Aeri, my bestfriend since high school.

I ask the important question after all. I decide to tell her everything today, because I don’t think I can handle it alone anymore.

“Yup, I’m 100% sure. Our dreams are not exactly same but at some points you get all the important hints about your half, right? That’s what happened to me too like I’ve told you before.”

I bob my head while thinking. Yeah, I still remember her stories about this weird continuous dream.

“Then why you’re still alone? You know your soulmate anyway” I ask again.

I don’t mean to use sarcastic tone in my voice but tease her. She tells me once who is her half and how all the kick comes, the ticklish and light feeling run in your blood making you all happy and smiley when you two are near. But I still don’t get it because I have no experience at all, just until what I see in my own dream every single night. A guy, whom I thought is a stranger, is hugging me tight like a lover. Kissing me like no tomorrow and stay next to me wherever I go like his life is depended on it. I don’t think I have seen him before because no one of my male friends looks like him.

“Let’s focus on you. What do you remember from him the most?” I know she just change the topic but I let it pass. I need time to think about this now because it finally happens to me.

“Since his warm touch and fresh smell cannot be described… hmm, I think I saw a little mole in his nose” which I like to kiss apparently, in my dream.

“Okay, that’s detail but hard to see unless you check his face closely. What else?”

I try to remember anything that comes to my mind.

“I think he is a bit tall, around Jin’s height maybe, since he easily tucks me under his chin. He has a tanned skin like me”

Aeri seems thinking and remembering anyone who has these features I mentioned.

“His voice is also deep. Like…” My mind wanders to some dreams I have when he speaks to me sweetly.  He has a nice voice with a deep baritone, which is very sexy, even just in dreams. His chuckles always be my favorite. Aeri claps her hands in front of me and stops me to get further in my blank state. I don’t realize that I stop talking but imagining him in my head. Well, being soulmate, in my dream, means we do things what couples do. And it’s hard to not be reminded and act like nothing happen when it feels you have done a lot.

“Like…?”

“Just like that, you know, deep” I try to not answer the question or explain anything further to her. It’s difficult to tell her of what happened in my dreams especially the skinship when I never do it in real life.

“Well, I think it’ll be better if we just let the universe work its way and bring you two together”

I nod to Aeri. She must be think I will concern about this and give me a cut before I do it. And it will be too hard to find him without solid clue that will lead directly to him anyway.

“From now on, you will feel the kick out of nowhere. You will easily be in a good mood too. Just let it be”

“Yeah, I understand” I say blankly.

“Oh, you may be in a bad mood when he is” she gives warning with serious look which makes my face all scrunching up. I’m not sure I’m ready for this but it’s destined from the very start of my life. Nervous fills me in but excitement is there too. I hope I don’t have to wait for a long time, I long to see him already.

 Our encounter is a mathematical formula The law of religion, the ways of the universe The evidence of fate given to me You are the origin of my dreams

Taehyung POV

 I throw my costume hard on the floor making my group mates jump. I glare each one of them to let them know that I am beyond angry right now. I shouldn’t have joining this group when I know they are just bunch of lazy ass even though they have experience for small drama musical. I am actually mad to myself more because of my stupid decision. I still think they can change to be more diligent in Prof. Kang’s Acting class. But it’s just me and they finally mess up the first trial of performing.

“Hey, Taehyung, don’t scare us like that. This is just practice, not the actual test” says Jongmin making my blood boiling.

“Not the actual test?” I ask him to know whether he is serious with his words or he is just dumb. Prof Kang is one of those lecturers that see the process instead of the output itself. He wants to see how many of his students that really put effort to success and pass his judgment for the entire semester.

“I don’t care where have you been in this major but if you want to fail, don’t drag me or others with you”

“Taehyung, that’s a bit…” his friend tries to defend him and I just give him a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to say more.

“You should know by now that our grades will never be better than C+” I growl at them.

I collect my things and leave them feeling my anger and their dumbness in their brain. I don’t want to expect much but hope it can make them thinking a little bit. If my grade is really C+, I won’t ever regret to yell like that. My mood has been worse since yesterday and it will not getting better after what was just happened. I should find Jin and ask him to cook me a good meal to make me feel better.

I walk to Literature major building across the library. Jin will be there if not in the cafeteria. He maybe still in denial with the soulmate thingy and decide to ‘taking it slow’ with Aeri, his crush since God knows when, but I know she is the only girl he ever sets his eyes on. I scoff loudly. Jin wastes his time when he already finds his other half when I try hard to find mine. This thought is supposed to fuel my anger more but I can’t help but smiling like idiot. I don’t know why but I suddenly feel good and have no tension that I have just now. I think I’m finally going crazy after my long finding attempt just to see my mate.

“Taehyung!” Jimin stands beside me with worry written on his face. I think he heard about me losing my temper after the class.

His face now is more worried after seeing my happy face. I just smile at him and wave like something has happened to me. I can’t stop myself when I feel a strong kick on my chest. My chest feels lighter and lighter with every second.

“Oh no” says Jimin, who is leaving me to run as fast as he can. I just shrug and continue my walk when I feel the second kick. I never feel a continuous kick at short period of time. Does it mean she is nearby? Can I finally see her after all this time? I look around to find her. I should find her.

*

Yerim POV

 I sigh countless times in the quiet library. My mood is not good for the past days and it affects many things. I don’t even remember why I’m being like this in the first place. I try to have a peace with my mind and heart so I can finally concentrate to the romance novel in my hands. Bad mood does not really compatible with romance so I just stare at the first page for ten minutes. When I think I feel a little bit better, I decide to give up on reading. I put back the book on the shelf and go out to the library’s yard.

Fall has coming and the weather becomes cooler. The color of the trees becomes more and more beautiful lately. I can see many students choose to study together in the yard instead of the study rooms. One of many ways to refresh your mind to help studying, I guess. I put up my phone to take a picture of the red-ish leaves tree in front of me when I feel the kick.

I grip my phone tighter because of the shock. I turn my head quick to my right and left and checking everyone near me. Pleasant feeling fills me in a second and it freezes me. This is what they always tell us about, this is how the kick felt. The kick and its effect. It’s the very first time I feel this strong kick. Up till today, it’s mostly the happy feeling that makes me smile every once and then. The pleasant feeling runs faster in my blood and it freaks me out. I need to stop myself from smiling because it’s really weird. How can I smile when I’m in the bottom of my mood, up till seconds ago? It doesn’t make any sense.

“Jin, I think Taehyung is crazy now. He is out from his class with huge grin and happily waving after yelling to his group mate because not doing their work right”

Two men stops not far from me and their conversation draws me to listen more. I feel they talk about this kick and its effect thingy and I need more info to make sure I’m not crazy too. I know one of them, Jin, fourth year student and Aeri’s crush slash her soulmate. I talk with him often since he and Aeri tease each other everyday. Yes, literally everyday just because they are too shy to ask each other out. Like, they are sure that the other is their half one, at least Aeri thinks that from all of hints in her dreams, but they still do nothing about it. The other man is Jimin. He is the campus sweetheart chosen last year on the campus festival, but we never been in touch directly before.

“Are you serious?”

“Why would I joke around when my best friend being freak all of a sudden?”

“Shit, you’re right”

I follow both men’s sight and see the man that they are talking about. Taehyung is one of Jin’s friends that I meet several times. He may be not coming first on ‘The Campus Sweetheart’ election, but believe me he has many admirers as Jimin’s. He has a very beautiful face that you can’t help but falling in love with. But Taehyung is a bit more unique person so people favor Jimin more. But honestly, I pick Taehyung over Jimin last year. Don’t ask me why, I don’t have any reason to tell.

Taehyung, with a super wide grin in his face, walks to his friends. Before I can hear whatever come out from Jin’s mouth, my heart races irregularly and makes me dizzy suddenly. I am too light-headed to follow Jin’s conversation with Jimin.

“Shoot” I curse and trying to keep it down by pressing my chest hard. This is not normal. No. I’ve never been like this before. This kick is stronger than the one I just experienced just now. I inhale a long breath while looking down, prevent myself to get panic attack. My heart still beats two times faster but the shock is gone and replaced by strong warmth in my chest. I take more oxygen to convince myself that I’m okay when I hear my name being called by Jin.

“Yerim, are you alright?”

I just nod and still try to breathe more. I don’t think it’s how usually the kick working, at least not the one that I used to experience. I need to make myself look composed to Jin and his friends. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of them.

“Are you sure?”

I lift my head up and give a firm nod to Jin. I don’t think worrying him will get a good outcome also. I know from Aeri that Jin would overreact and I surely don’t want any drama now. He sighs in relief and believes me this time. I divert my gaze to the other men to make sure they don’t let out another question. I’m not very comfortable talk with strangers, let alone them worrying about my health out of blue. And then I feel the strongest kick of all. It feels so great that freaks me out even more. Those brown eyes of Taehyung mirroring my eyes and we both know that we are each other’s half. My breath stops.

 I recognized you as soon as I saw you As if we’ve called each other The DNA in my blood is telling me That it’s you who I’ve been looking for

 “I found you” his voice barely a whisper yet I can hear it clearly.

I froze in my place seeing him in front of me. The man in my dream is finally come to real life and stands before my eyes. It never crosses my mind that I will feel this kind of feeling when I see Taehyung, I panic, I don’t know what to do, I’m not ready. And I do the best way that I can think first, run away from him.

 *

Taehyung POV

 “Yerim! Wait!” I try to call her when I see her running away from me. I can let it happened. No. I’ve been trying everything and when the time comes I don’t want to let it just go like that. Jin holds my arms when my feet decide to follow her.

“Don’t do that, Taehyung”

“But I have been waiting this for long time, Jin”

“I know. But things won’t be good if you come to her in a rush” say Jin, making me let out a frustrated groan.

 I run my hands over my hair hundred times already. I cannot sit in peace nor stop rambling about my worries. I shouldn’t talk, and then she won’t be scared. I shouldn’t yell her name and make her leaving me like that.

“What should I do, Jin? Have this happened to you and Aeri?”

“Why did I yell like crazy man and scare her off?”

“I don’t think I can live if she rejects me”

“Don’t you think I should go to her and apologize?”

“Hyung, help me”

Jin observes me doing my monologue in silence. He has that soft smile on his face and it makes me more confused than ever. He doesn’t really tell me what to do and ignores my questions. He pats my back and tells me to calm myself down to think clearly.

“Stay here”

*

Yerim POV

 I pace around in my studio apartment since the door closed. I don’t even take out my shoes yet go back and forth from the front door to my living-bedroom in my cramp studio.

“Is this really happening?” I scream to myself with both of my hand in the air.

I’m happy, indeed. It’s finally the time when I know I won’t be alone for my entire life. I can finally share whatever I feel to someone who is truly care. But before we go to that phase, I don’t even know how to talk with him. How should an awkward person like me getting in a normal conversation? No idea at all. It’s always someone trying to get me involved then I can speak slowly.

My phone rings and makes me jump oddly. I look at my bag on the floor and guess who’s the caller. My bet down to Aeri, who might be heard the news already from Jin. Ugh, I don’t think I can meet Jin without thinking about earlier accident. How can I just frantically run when Taehyung said those words?

“Yerim?” ask Aeri softly.

“Yeah?” I reply with much doubt in my voice.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?”

“Do I?”

I stall time for nothing because sooner or later I will yell my frustration out to her because she’s the one that I trust my entire secret with. I just don’t know how to start to tell her all. Not when I’m still disbelieve that it’s finally the time.

“Spill out, now”

I tell her everything that happened today. Thankfully, she doesn’t interrupt me with any question and let me out every single detail to her. When I’m done, she asks me if I’m alright.

“I don’t know. I’m not even sure I’m happy or scared now”

“Breathe slowly. Should I come to your place?”

“Please”

 I whimper when I remember leaving Taehyung behind without saying a word. Not even spare a look to Jin and Jimin because of my complicated mind. Aeri chuckles softly and pats my back. She knows how it feels like since she experienced it herself not long ago, unless hers is less embarrassing than mine and yet I laughed at her back then. And she is in a good term with Jin, even though they are still not together yet.

“So, what is your plan now? You’re the only friend I know who met the soulmate besides me. Others just don’t care as much as we do”

I shrug, no plan sounds good to me. I look at her looking for help and she only gives me smile.

“Jin is worried because he knows how you are around strangers. But it seems more like he worries Taehyung scares you since you just go right away after you saw him. He tells me Taehyung is not in a good condition now, rambling nonsense of him to make you just go like that but afraid to scared you more. Taehyung worry to lose you, not before he try to approach you at all”

My shoulders slump down hearing Aeri’s words. Taehyung and I are worried for each other and it feels very uncomfortable. My chest feels so heavy and I just can make it go away. Now, I know why.

“It’s not like that though. It’s just me. I’m actually grateful that my half is Taehyung”

Aeri waits for me to continue.

“I’ve thought the worst possibility of anyone who will be my partner. But Taehyung is far from any bad possibility. I maybe not ready for this yet and he just comes in front of me looking so… radiant and perfect. I can’t help but feel content yet scared of myself”

I look at Aeri in eyes, eyebrows knit together.

“It’s weird, right? How can I be happy just looking at him when I haven’t engaged in private conversation with him in my entire life?”

“Should I say yes? Will it make you finally at ease?” ask her with soft smile. I shake my head slowly. No matter how hard I deny the fact, that’s the reality. This weird thing is also explain how my parents meet, my grandparents meet and maybe back to how my ancestors meet in the first place.

“It’s our destiny, Yerim. You two have been fated since you were existed in this world and you actually feel good about it. I will not ask you much because first encounter will be overwhelmed but please, try to not avoid Taehyung, it will feel unpleasant for both of you, just like now”

 Because all of this is not coincidence Because we’ve found our destiny DNA

 That night I dream about Taehyung. Now I can clearly see his face, hear his voice whispering sweet nothings, feel his warmth while hugging me. Something in me change, I can feel it in my entire body. And it reaches its peak when Taehyung’s lips come to mine.

I really try hard to get myself calm. I keep taking a deep breath when the ticklish sensation comes. I learn by now that I will feel it when Taehyung is near. And it makes me more aware of his presence. I can’t help myself to look around. I caught him walking from the end of hallway from the park’s bench where I’m sitting. His boyish smile automatically makes me smile. I try to not creep out of this fact and receive it as my fate. He greets everyone in hallway and gets me fascinated. I realize the big difference in our behavior. I rarely greet people and will only avoid them to minimize any interaction. Unless I know them well, I won’t mind starting conversation first.

I remember how he easily enlightens the mood and lead people to have a good time. We never talk directly but his presence comforts me in a way I can’t describe back then. And now I know the reason why I feel annoyed to his classmate who openly flirts with him during lunch break. It’s because I know he is mine, he should be off limit to anyone.

My focus backs to Taehyung who talks to his friends. I think Taehyung is in a good mood because he casually laughs with other before abruptly looks at my direction. He keeps smiling and staring at me. Or so I thought since I break the eye contact fast and pretend to read the book that I hold before.

 “Hey” a deep voice greets me then I feel the kick. A strong one, but I’m not surprised anymore. I slowly look up and find Taehyung with soft smile in his face.

“Hey” I reply with much effort to sound casual despite my rapid heartbeat.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” He points the empty spot beside my bag and I just shake my head. He sits 30 centimeters from me. I hope he won’t hear the loud drums from my chest.

“I’m Taehyung” he says while offering his hand. I’m sure we know each other name by now so I just stare at him with confused look.

“I only want to make an official introduction to you. We haven’t had one, have we?”

I chuckle lightly and shake my head again. He, now, laughs with me and it brings sense of comfort for me. I take his large hands and its warm spreads to mine. It reminds me my dreams about him. All hints given to me now becomes reality. And the feeling is just the same as in my unconscious state, even better.

He starts the conversation with simple questions that he curious about and gives me some information about him to. I feel thankful that he understands my circumstances to strangers even though he never really felt like stranger to me to begin with.

“I don’t want to scare you. That’s the last thing I want you to feel around me”

“I’m not scared. It’s just unusual for me, Taehyung”

He swifts closer and make my breath hitched. We sit arm to arm in silence.

“I know you’re not comfortable with stranger but please bear with me. Since the day I know you’re the one, I already hold myself to not come to you and hug you right at that moment”

I’m blushing hearing Taehyung’s confession. This is another difference within us. Taehyung is blunt and brave with words while I’m not. He really talks what’s in his mind meanwhile I prefer to keep it down, deep down in my head.

“You’re not a stranger though” I reply in whisper. I’m not sure how to say it but I know he get what I mean by chucking lowly. We just sit there until a voice breaks the comfort silence. Until someone comes and stands in front of us.

“Yerim, I’m Hyuksoo from Critical Reading class. I want to invite you to have dinner with others on Friday night. If you want, I can pick you up too”

I stare at the smiling boy that comes from nowhere as in questioning him and his true meaning under his invitation. I never really go out with others except for group project. I prefer to have lunch with Aeri or Hwayoung, my classmate slash best friend. Even though some people will ask us to join their table, I never talk much. Is he really serious to ask me out to go with others that I foreign with? And he asks me in front of Taehyung? Well, no one knows what happened to me and Taehyung, but Taehyung sits too close to anyone with ‘friend of a friend-relationship’ should do. This should give him a picture that we are spending a private moment.

I hear Taehyung hiss behind me and scoot closer to me until I feel him on my back. He slightly puts his head on my shoulder, not showing sign to others that it’s actually our first encounter in our real life. Just then the boy realizes that Taehyung is with me, looking not happy with his invitation.

“Oh, hi Taehyung”

So Hyuksoo knows Taehyung and still stands so confident in front of us. I think he wants to prove something over the man behind me.

“She’s busy on Friday night, and Saturday night, and any other night in future, with her boyfriend”

He emphasizes the ‘her boyfriend’ words and it makes me somewhat happy. I fight the urge to smile and being rude to Hyuksoo. The boy just looks at Taehyung blankly while opening and closing his mouth, loss for words to get back at Taehyung. I feel Taehyung’s hand circling my body, definitely not giving up to act all cocky to the poor boy.

“I’m sorry” That’s all he said before walks away without looking back.

“What was that?” I turn my head to Taehyung and face him. He’s too close that I can see the little mole in his nose, the same one as I see in my dreams. My face is getting red as remembering some moments related to that tiny dot. Taehyung keeps his hand on my waist while looking unfocused.

“Hm?”

“What’s with you turning down his invitation and saying that I have a boyfriend?” I raise my eyebrow and slightly push his body away to seriously answer me this time also giving me space to breathe.

“I’m not wrong, right? You’re mine and no one should try to steal you from me”

He licks his bottom lip slowly and I fail to restrain my eyes following the movement. I become ten times more aware of our proximity.

“We just get to know each other an hour ago” I talk in whisper. Not sure of speaking loudly and breaking the intimate bubble.

“Yeah, but we are destined to be together since the universe is made, anyway. I’m not giving you up to anyone, no way”

 From the day the universe was formed Past infinite worlds Probably in our past live and in our next lives We’ll be together forever

Because all of this is not coincidence Because we’ve found our destiny DNA

News spreads like fire and I have an idea where this talk comes from. Most of them guess correctly because they have passed the same experience of the soulmate thing. Some other are being salty and put Taehyung or me on a bad side. Just because I’m the quiet one, they think Taehyung going out with me just to use me. Just because he is everyone favorite, they think I trap Taehyung so he dates me. Well, people can be mean but I don’t care. I keep wear a straight face when walking to my first class on that morning.

“So, it’s Taehyung?” asks Hwayoung with a smirk.

We talk about this destiny sometimes, how it can’t be understood by our mere logic yet we are happy when we feel it. Few days ago, she and I are in the same page. We feel the unreasonable happiness but haven’t met our Mr. Right for months. I nod at her question and only make her smirk more visible, teasing me openly.

“At least he is in your soulmate-wish list. It must feel good”

I can’t help but grinning. She, once, makes me to list names of men who are likely my soulmate or simply I wish to be the one. It might change every time we bring the topic out but Taehyung always be my top three. And it turns out, he is the one.

“You should think yours is actually on your list too”

“Then I have to make a good list from now on”

Her reply makes both of us laugh just in time the professor’s assistant comes. We look at each other and expect to get another assignment to work with while our professor is too busy to giving lecture.

“Mr. Min is out of town and gives you two weeks worth assignment. Go to Performing Arts building and watch at least one of their theater plays. Observe well and choose one intrinsic or extrinsic elements and deliberate to five pages essay, at least. Go check their schedule now and the class is dismissed”

I still stare on the spot where the assistant standing just now and processing the information he gives us. We indeed expect another task to be done but the new assignment is too much since we still have another one on hold due to Mr. Min’s absence last week. But the fact we need Performing Arts Drama Class to get it done is more shocking. Hwayoung chuckles while shaking her head.

“It’s time to pay a visit of your new boyfriend then”

 “Seeing you here really confirmed the rumor” says a voice that comes suddenly from my behind. I turn my head to find Taehyung with a smile. I can’t help to smile back at him. He takes my hand in his.

“What rumor?”

“Rumor that saying Literature students will come out from their shell and temporarily move here”

I hit his arm with my free hand and he just smiles. Hwayoung clears her throat, reminds me that she’s there too with me.

“Ah, this is Hwayoung, my friend on Modern Literature class. Hwayoung, this is Taehyung, my…” I stop myself on Taehyung’s introduction and earn teasing smile from two persons in front of me.

“Boyfriend” he continues my words while shaking Hwayoung’s hand. I feel heat creeping to my face when hear the word second time. I just look at Taehyung in disbelief and he just shrugs. He plays with my hand like a very common habit.

“So what does my girl need?” asks him. I can tell my cheeks redden but answer Taehyung’s question anyway.

“I need your theater play schedule for this month. We have to do something with that to pass Mr. Min’s class”

“We should go to the hall then”

Walking hand in hand with Taehyung in public is surprisingly calming. I don’t bother others’ stare or teasing while Taehyung brags about our intertwined fingers. I think some of Taehyung’s trait affect me and change me a little. I never thought I will be able to show this kind of affection in public with anyone but now I do it easily with him. We stand in front of the schedule board and take some pictures to make it easier to check later.

“You only need to see my schedule” said him then points the second row timetable.

“My play will be on next Friday and you have to come”

“Why?”

“Because you have to see how cool your boyfriend is”

Every time I see her, I am amazed It’s so strange, my breath keeps stopping

Is this the love that I’ve only heard about? Because from the start, my heart only beat towards you

 It has been two months that Taehyung and I get together. He brings me to watch movie or have a meal as a date. Some nights, he will just be too lazy to go back to his apartment and try to sleep over. But then Jin will call and give him a long lecture that forces him to leave my apartment. I, sometimes, feel sorry for Taehyung and want him to stay the night too. But I can’t say it aloud since I’m embarrassed enough just to imagine it.

I can read his thought from his face now, but not too often since he is more like spontaneous person that I’ve ever met. Even though I can make a guess or two from his heartbeat and warmth feeling inside my chest everytime he has plan for us in mind. I think he feel the same since he knows how to make everything works all the time.

Tonight we celebrate Jin’s birthday on the shared apartment of Jin, Taehyung and Jimin. Jin allow some close friends only to come for dinner and have a little bit beer and soju since he knows he will be the one who is in charge for cleaning. Jin, the birthday boy, is busy to greet everyone that come with help from Jimin as another host of the dinner. Taehyung sits comfortably with me in sofa and massages my nape without really aware that it may look too much for others. I don’t know when we are starting to do much PDA but it’s just naturally happened. He likes skinship much that we do it here and there, day and night, alone and in crowds. I lean my body more to Taehyung, feeling the heat radiated from him. I breathe his cologne then close my eyes in content.

“Are you tired?” asks him, realizing my eye closed. I just shake and let myself be in more comfortable position. Taehyung circles his free arm around me.

“You two look so dangerous to be left alone”

Jin’s voice surprises me that I snap my eyes open. I gulp a non-existent lump in my throat. I have been thinking the same too actually. Taehyung and I become closer in no time and yes, intimately close. We share our first kiss just in a week since the revelation. And from that day on, we keep progressing further. It’s scary in pleasant way since I never think I will do that in life. I couldn’t even ask for direction to stranger before yet I’m easily let Taehyung enter my world.

“We do nothing, Jin. Your nagging is not necessary” denies Taehyung.

Jin keeps nagging us while Aeri and I are smiling to each other. I understand Jin’s worry because we are moving too fast. But he is just being overprotective to me and Taehyung. I mean, we are one year younger away only. Basically, we are grown up, just like him. We know what we do and we will take the responsibility for anything that might happen.

“Jin Hyung” The man next to me calls the older male with stressing the word ‘hyung’. I guess Taehyung is a bit annoyed now.

“How about take Aeri to veranda and talk about your own relationship instead of nosing to mine. Don’t you think you two take a long road in slow pace already?”

I gasp and look at the annoyed Taehyung beside me. I put my hand up to his mouth and smile apologetically to Jin and Aeri. Jin is taken aback with the younger’s words but can’t help blushing in shame. He realizes that we build our relationship faster even though they meet first. I don’t know what to say to comfort Jin but not let Taehyung thinking that I’m not in his side. Just then Aeri stands up and Jin follows her closely. I think Jin will take his chance now. My eyes stay on their back until they are gone behind the curtain. I don’t realize that I still keep my hand on Taehyung’s mouth until he kisses it.

“You don’t have to say it like that” I say while giving him disapproving look. He holds me tighter and pouts his lips. I hold my breath and try to not look his lips. It always is difficult to whenever Taehyung is being like this.

“I just state the fact. I mean, we are dying to see them together too, right? So, I give him a little push” he replies while pouting and it makes him more adorable than usual. I cup his face and stroking his cheek with my thumbs slowly.

“My boyfriend is very kindhearted in a mean way” I tease him and it makes his lips stretch a smile.

“But he is doing a good thing” he says. I nod and smile at him.

“Then you should give him a reward”

“What does he want as reward?”

Taehyung seems to think in playful manner and smirks after done choosing in his head.

“A kiss would be enough for now”

I usually cannot stand Taehyung’s long stare just because I will feel my face becomes hot. But today, I don’t want to be the first one who looks away even though I know Taehyung won’t lose in his game. Taehyung inches closer and I hold my breath again. He licks his bottom lip and it makes me lose my focus. He wouldn’t kiss me when his friends around, right? He knows how I struggle to deal myself with other people in normal circumstances. It will be impossible for me to face people if they caught me do romantic things, even with my boyfriend.

Someone clears his throat right before Taehyung’s lips landing at mine. I turn my head to my left and avoid meeting anyone’s eyes. I bury my face on Taehyung’s shoulder when I hear Hoseok’s chuckles. They really caught us. My mind is full of every possible tease from him and the others when Taehyung whispers to get me off of him for a while.

“Wait me here” he says before jumping on Hoseok. I don’t want to see what happens but I do hear Hoseok’s scream and Taehyung’s protest. I keep my face hidden in my hands because I know my face will be as red as tomato right now. I guess Taehyung hit Hoseok couple times before he comes back to me and pulls me in a hug. I just want to disappear because the embarrassing moment is unbearable.

 Taehyung decides to bring me home and safe me from his friends’ playful teases. I’m still recovering from the embarrassment and feel a little bit mad at my boyfriend. He knows how cruel his friends are when teasing others but he still tried to kiss me there. I let him hold my hand but I don’t speak a word.

“I’m sorry” he says softly while squeezing my hand. I think he feels my mood is a bit down.

“I won’t do it again in front of the others, I promise”

He stops walking and block my view. He lowers himself to look at me in the eyes and give me pleading look. It reminds me that he often said that he is afraid to have me left him. How can I do that when I love him as much as he does?

“Please, Yerim”

I let out a sigh and bob my head. He gives me a weak smile which makes me feeling guilty to act like this. He maybe do something wrong but it’s just his nature. He never mad at me because I don’t talk to his friends or give them response while joking around. He understands me. Why am I not turning back the favor?

“I’m not mad. I just can’t handle teasing and attention that well”

“I know. And I shouldn’t do that when I already know, should I?”

I peck his corner lips as an apology. My heart beats rapidly until I think it will go up to my throat. I’m sure my face is reddening again but I need to learn to not care. His expression changes in second. His smile becomes wide, eyes shifts into crescent. He reminds me of Peter Pan’s reaction being kissed by Wendy in a movie. He’s too cute to even realize his action next. He kisses me fully on the lips while I’m not aware or prepared.

“Thank you” he says and continues our walks.

Taehyung helps me doing my assignment until late in my place. He is already in his comfortable position on my bed when it finished. I look at the clock that shows it pass midnight already. I amaze that Jin hasn’t call Taehyung until now since he still against Taehyung to sleep over in my place. I steal a glance to Taehyung who seems very carefree while watching funny variety show on the TV. I don’t think he has any intention to go back to his own place.

“Do you think you can sleep with your jeans on? I don’t have any clean sweatpants for you”

His laugh disappears through thin air. I can feel Taehyung’s heartbeat quickened. I think I said something wrong when I don’t hear anything from him. I close my small wardrobe and look at him carefully. He is there, with eyes and mouth open widely. He just stares at me in silence and it makes me worry.

“Taehyung…”

“Did you just… Are you saying that… You ask me to…”

This is the first time I see Taehyung looking so lost and cannot talk properly. He is always the one who knows how to act and talk. This side of him surprises me and really confusing.

“What did I do?” I ask him back in horror. He breaks into smiley Taehyung and runs toward me fast that I don’t see it at all. He stands before me and traps me into the solid material behind me.

“Are you saying I can stay the night?”

I blink rapidly, inspecting his overly happy face. I nod once.

“Can I sleep in your bed, with you in my arms?”

I nod again. He lets out a deep chuckle and pecks me in the lips fast. He backs to his place on my bed and rummages his bag. He pulls out a set of pajamas with a playful smirk.

“I come prepared, you know”

I can’t believe what I see but just laugh with him eventually. He dashes off to bathroom and I can’t help to palm my face.

 We lie on my bed and talk about anything that crosses to our mind first. We talk in small voice as if worry it will bother my neighbors which is unnecessary. Taehyung pulls me closer until my back and his chest touching after my joke about our lecturer and laughs on my shoulder. I take a sharp breath while he is unaware. Taehyung is rarely conscious that his thoughtless skinship habit always makes me hundred times nervous than our intended proximity. Being connected doesn’t mean we fully understand what we feel by mere heartbeat pace, nauseous or excited feeling. So I take it as he doesn’t know that I’m half nervous and half anticipated.

Taehyung starts to talk more quietly with his deep voice and it sends chills to my back. His arms secure themselves on my waist while he tries to make me look at him. I turn my face and find we have no space between our faces. His sharp nose is touching mine and I can feel his breath on my upper lip. I can’t make words that come from his mouth. I can’t concentrate on anything while being this close. I know we both sense it in our blood, how the ticklish feeling runs crazier this time.

 I want it this love I want it real love I’m only focusing on you It pulls me harder

From the start, my DNA wants you This is fate, I love us Only we are true lovers

 He kisses me slowly, deepen the breathtaking atmosphere more. He hovers above me to make it easier instead of craning our necks that will hurt in a minute. His cold hands are now under my tops, making me flinch a little. It keeps going further until both of our phones ringing loudly and making us separated in split second. Taehyung looks furious when see his phone screen and ready to yell but beaten by the other person across the line. I think I know who the caller is when I look at mine. Aeri’s nickname flashes on the screen and I swipe to answer.

“Is Taehyung there?” she asks softly.

“Yes, he stays the night. It’s too late to back to his place. I can’t let him go home at midnight after helping me finishing my assignment, plus in the cold winter night”

She laughs at my made up excuse but understand anyway. I know she calls me because Jin is worried again. Having them worry over us is blessing but sometimes it’s just too much. Jin should realize that Taehyung is innocent boy that won’t go over the line even though he likes skinship more than anything.

“Jin hyuuuung! Let me sleep at peace in my girlfriend’s place just once for God’s sake”

I jump at Taehyung’s voice and giggle when see his frustrated face. His free hand is gripping his own hair, venting his anger to Jin. How he can be cute and sexy at the same time and again, without him being aware of it.

“Okay. Just don’t do things that you’re not ready for” she reminds me over and over and I just nod. I answer her when I realize she can’t see me.

“I get it” I reply to ensure her that nothing’s going to wrong.

“If you don’t disturb me this time, I promise I won’t tease you with Aeri again. Ok? Good night, hyung!”

Taehyung talks so fast and doesn’t even care of what Jin wants to say. He throws his phone and back to lay down his on his back. He puffs a frustrated sigh and invites me to come over his open arms.

“Let’s forget the nagging couple and have a good sleep”

I giggle and hug him tight. I bob my head that rest on his chest and drift to the dreamland.

 Don’t look back Because we’ve found our destiny Don’t regret it baby Because we’re forever together

[messedupessy]

I present for you a challenge! Talk to me about Atypical Seaswap Pap, please. (Or you can do Edge. Either would be lovely. But I need some Atypical Seaswap stuff for reasons.)

Ohh damn kit this is a challenge rekjgkjegjke and I know this is meant to be as in the ask thingie I was doing the other day but I’m skipping that ask format as it will just get in the way of things grekjgkjege 👀 tho u could just have messaged me privately tho I don’t mind bless ekjgknejge

But first a little bit of explanation so ppl who see this can understand stuff, so Kit here got this really amazing af fic called Atypical which you can find the first part HERE, its a very awesome and amazing papcest fic with bunch of the boys as different mythical creatures living together in a mansion in the woods etc with lots of angst and drama happening but also like really sweet fluffy stuff which if you a fan of papcest should really check out, check out her writing overall bc god it’s amazing af and I literally binged Atypical when i began reading it I think I ended up been up to 4 am bc I got so into it

And I got so into it and got ideas myself that I ended up making a version of Boney to fit into the fic because I just love and adore the whole fic and universe so much that I couldn’t help it UwU ❤ but here are some facts and info about him aye

Boney in this au, I guess it is an au, is a Näck, aka a Swedish water sprite/nixies/Necks who is one of our more famous mythological creatures, known mostly to be beautiful naked men sitting and playing violins and other instruments in rivers where they trick ppl to drown and so on there lots more to Näcks but can’t be bothered, as I wanna get into more personality stuff ye

Original Boney and Atypical Boney are of course very alike still as they are still the same person but there are many things that differs the two due for different circumstances, like the fact original Boney is just a cursed human while atypical Boney is a Näck and always been one etc

Anyway getting sidetracked, Atypical Boney is of course still very flirty, still very like chill and jokey and stuff, but he is not as good when it comes to social stuff like original Boney is, he isn’t as good at reading ppl and so on due for just not been around ppl properly for many, many years.

Ok I will shorten their names to OB for original Boney and AB for Atypical Boney bc writing out their full names is driving me mad. Also this is getting long so putting this under a cut.

AB unlike OB is not afraid to get dirty or to get his outfit ruined, he is after all a kind of like nature spirit give or take and getting his feet covered in mud and jump into rivers still clothed is what he do, he loves nature unlike OB who is much more of a city boy and srs hates getting dirty.

AB just like OB is very social, loves been around other ppl and like party give or take, tho AB hasn’t done so for many many years due for his like self imposed exile kind of thing he had going, and the fact he literally hated human men for a very long time, which in like more future like time he has gotten much better at and is enjoying.

AB is very curious and questions allot of things, as due for his so called exile so have he missed allot of what has been going on outside his home so he is very outdated on tech and other things, and he rly wants to learn about these things. 

Both AB and OB are really into jewelry and lace, tho AB is more into silvery things while OB is more into gold. AB also really likes jewelry with flower motifs and stuff. 

AB just like OB is pretty flamboyant, a bit dramatic which is mostly just for fun, though AB is a bit more mhhh… openly emotional I guess? like OB knows how to properly lie and keep things more properly to himself, AB on the other hand is not as good to keep what he thinks and feels to himself, it shows more on his face etc

They are both very sad and guilt-ridden boys though, OB feeling guilt over getting tricked and getting his bro killed and cursed, AB over also getting tricked and getting his brother killed proper and then failing in getting revenge due for not knowing humans do not live as long as him etc.

Which have made both of them pretty mistrustful towards others at first, OB is much better at hiding that mistrustfulness while AB is not as good its more easier to see when he don’t trust ya.  

Both of them are really into drinking wine and are both sad drunks if they drink too much, tho AB is a bit more hesitant to drink than OB is due for wine been involved in the incident that cost his brother his life.

AB loves music, loves to dance and play his violin or flute, he would really enjoy like festivals where there is allot of dancing and music and just having a good time.

AB is very knowledge hungry, he loves reading and learning since he has missed out on allot of things and he don’t like not knowing about things. Tho he is a sucker for really trashy romance novels.

AB got no shame at all and would walk around naked unless ppl didn’t insist he should wear clothing which he don’t get at all, except for the fact he looks really good in it and it makes him feel pretty, but otherwise no. OB too don’t have any shame but knows why he should wear clothes he isn’t a barbarian after all etc pft.

Both OB and AB are very romantic, they love that romantic af stuff allot, and both are afraid of experiencing it as they both are afraid to get used again, only difference here is that AB gets over that fear much easier and also ends up not been afraid of having sexual encounters with no romance involved which OB is unable to do.

Both of them are very cuddly and loves to just lay down and cuddle and chill in some sunny spot with a good book and someone to rest against, also like to sit and talk about everything and anything. 

AB is a bit more clingy and not the best with other ppl’s personal space, he is learning tho. and AB also has trouble understanding humans and their stuff they got going as he is after all a mythical creature but he is very curious about them, even tho its a bit hampered i think the word is due for the whole incident and his many years of hating human men.

and I feel I have written hella lot now while also been unsure if I like how it turned out so this will do for now ye, hope ya enjoy kit UwU ❤ this was fun af ye

[queercode-my-minecraft]

Smol! Patton and older Patton with his bf Roman ( @chemically-imbalanced-romance the idea was from the tutu! Patton anon you received, I just got really inspired)

(more under cut because it became so long)

It’s basically Royality (ballet dancer!Patton and actor!Roman) 

The ages are basically: Patton, Roman and Virgil are all the same age, while Logan is a year older (you bet he teases his borther, Roman, about it endlessly)

they met in kindergarden, nobody really know how; their parents only know that they stopped to talk with the guy that would look over them and when they returned to the two of them they were playing happily

when they were younger (five years? ye) Patton and Roman started ballet lessons together (Roman’s older brother Logan did ballet there so their parents thought: “Why not?”)

idk if you ever saw the end performance of five year olds but it’s so cute, like wow! and you bet that their parents took videos and photos of the performance

(when Patton is feeling down he’ll look at his past performances and chuckles nostalgicaly)

theres also that one kid who wont leave the stage because they love the attention and thats Roman (Patton was the one who would wave at the audience the whole time) 

that’s the first time Roman has actually shown to love the stage and the attention (he also was a quiet kid, who rarely spoke so Roman’s parents began thinking)

the next year was their first year of elementary school and their second year doing ballet, Roman also began taking drama, which he absoloutly loves

he often talked to Patton about what they did during drama and Patton was happy for him but also really jealous 

time passes and Patton learns not to be so much jealous of Roman (as time passes they also discover Roman’s dyscalculia and Patton’s ADHD)

Middle School time!

Insecurity time! but, in middle school you never tell anyone that you feel insecure, so everyone gets super angsty and thinks they’re living worse than others but they never get help to sort the bad things that happen to you and im getting in too many details

Patton and Roman get bullied i know that Patt is the sweetest guy but bullies do see that as a weakness for liking feminine things

Patton feels hurt about those words but continues persuing his passion, while Roman starts closing in himself

This is until an evening in May during their last year, where Roman and Patton are walking back from drama and ballet respectivly and as they’re walking Patton is telling him about what he learned and as Roman looks at Pat he just stops dead in his tracks and starts sobbing

Patton is taken aback, sure he saw that Roman was getting quieter but he thought that was normal for their age!

“Hey, Ro-Ro, what happened?” Patton drops his bag and hugs Roman, who clings at Patton

“I-I want to be more like y-you, y-you’re so so so ni-nice and you lo-love dancing and th-they-their words don’t hurt you a-and I ju-just hear they- them calling m-me gay and-” A loud sob by Roman interrupts his speech, but he doesn’t want to leave Patton down, because he’s his best friend and he deserves to know everything

“and I am” the words are uttered in a whisper, Patton understands and hugs him tighter, wishing he could never let go of his best friend

after some time they leave the others embrace and they return home. Patton doesn’t want to leave his best friend so they walk hand in hand, whispering to each other “I know exactly how you feel.” “You do?” “Well, not exactly. But, their words do hurt me too and at times I wish they didn’t...”

when their parents take them off their phones for some weeks they’re absolutely fine with it because now they start a new chapter of their friendship where they’re more sincere with each other

Highschool time!

The bullying stops, they’ve changes school and they don’t know anyone but the other (I feel like during their freshmen year they’re kind of like Two Player Game, but sort of different) 

that’s the year where they meet Virgil Alighieri (I am so damn sorry) and he kind of starts hanging out with them

He’s really closed off and quiet and Patton sees Roman of that night in the guy, while Roman sees what he was supposed to be (and he hates it so much, which brings him to antagonise the poor guy for a semester) and Virgil doesn’t want to destroy the bond between these two friends because they’re so close and he doesn’t want to destroy anything as usual

sophomore year starts and Roman is dating some guy he met during vacation?? which they actually know because he goes to their school?? 

Patton is so confused and Virgil just pats his back trying to comfort him, so Patton turns around at this smol guy and start saying what he’s thinking in that precise moment. No filters

“He’s my best friend and, I don’t know, should friends feel like jealous that they’re dating someone... else? We’re always been really affectionate and I don’t really want to destroy our friendship, he’s so important and WHAT IF I MESS EVERYTHING UP?!” 

Virgil is taken aback by the outburst (he hates loud noises) and murmurs “That does sound pretty gay, Pat.”

So, Patton loses himself in dancing. It kind of becomes his escape and he hates that it has become like that. Roman is in a similar situation. He’s seeing his best friend working his ass off training and he’s withdrawing, but there’s also Virgil who just smiles sympathetically and says “I don’t know too, dude.” and on the other side there’s his boyfriend that wants them to do stuff that he really doesn’t feel the need (he never did)

they’re in May, again, but this time its raining and Patton is alone walking from practice (probably watching some old video) and Roman comes running towards him

When Patton looks at his friend, he can’t tell if his make-up (Roman had fallen in love with the stuff) has been destroyed by the rain ir by his tears “I-I broke up with him...”

Patton opens his arms to hug his friend but Roman shakes his head and says “I’ve come here to tell you I’m sorry for my previous actions, I shouldn’t have let you... withdraw from us. Because I care so much about you and I don’t want you to feel hurt by me anymore, so if you want to stop... being friends I’m okay. Besides I have finished all my tears for tonight.” Which was wrong, because when Patton hugged him in tears, Roman hugged back tearing up too

The next two years pass in a blur of Monsters, films, stress, practice,  homework, tears, doodles on the side of the paper and chatter in class During class, it’s October and there’s a timid light that enters the classroom. Roman and Patton are doodling on a paper, well, in the moment Patton is doodling and Roman looks at Patton, with his freckles and his bright eyes and realizes he has fallen for him.

College time!

they kind of ended up in the same college, where also Logan goes. Roman and Patton decide to take a room together, while Logan (who had a terrible experience with his previous a certain Nate) takes Virgil

Virgil is absoloutly smitten about Logan from the moment he saw him so he passes the first month trying not to meet the guy escaping in the other too’s room

but they’re aren’t having it easy too, because they’re both crushing on each other and they would be hilarious if it wasn’t so awkward (for Virgil, Logan finds its weird, how the two act but hey! you can’t see him gushing about Virgil to Roman, so at least he doesn’t bug his brother like someone else does!)

Logan slowly develops a crush on Virgil during the two semesters

it’s summer and Roman and Patton are walking back from Patton’s practice, he’s in one of his practice-to-wear-thingies and it has this sort of dress, his hair is tied up in a weird curly bun and... Roman is kissing Patton.

Patton never kissed anyone so he’s terrified, Roman believes he kissed someone who was his best friend and he’s terrified. They’re both terrified, but they think that this will probabl be the only kiss with the other so they try their best (can I even say that?) 

when they stop they’re breathing heavily and smiling so much it hurts 

“That was... amazing” 

“Yeah... Wait! You really think so? Would you actually kiss ME again?” Roman is smiling ear to ear, and Patton hopes he isnt going to say the wrong thing

“I would kiss you again and again... if you asked... and not in a friends that kiss, but in a boyfriend manner?” tried Patton, quickly adding the ending at Roman’s face. 

“I’d love that, Pat”

[eleutheramina]

CDramas: A Love So Beautiful + Wait, My Youth

I binged watched these two Chinese dramas recently to try to improve my Mandarin - first A Love So Beautiful and then Wait, My Youth. Casual thoughts underneath the cut!

A Love So Beautiful What I liked:

The pre-credit scenes! Honestly some of my favorite parts of the whole drama. Felt like some of them were genuinely clever and funny. I especially enjoyed the ones that showing Jiang Chen’s thoughts when talking to Xiaoxi’s mom, showing how Jiang Chen deliberately put stuff in the back seat to make Xiaoxi sit in the front, and the one that reveals how Jing Xiao’s mom was initially hostile to Lu Yang when he visited.

The chemistry among the main characters  - I liked how although romance is clearly a big theme and driving force of the drama, the friendships among the characters felt genuine and nice constant in a way that was shown more than told to the audience, and it was heartwarming to see them support each other. For instance, I appreciated how Chen Xiaoxi and Lu Yang were friends in a way that not only never was romantic but also was not for the purpose of talking about their romantic interests.

I’ll talk a little more about Jiang Chen thoughts later, but

The part when Chen Xiaoxi is trying to ask Wu Bosong about any traumatic events in his swimming journey, only to find out that he doesn’t have any (though of course, later he injures himself :/)

The part when Wu Bosong helps cheer up Chen Xiaoxi on the pineapple water floating thingy I actually had initially started and then stopped watching this series before I recently decided to finish it because I was annoyed that Chen Xiaoxi ends up with Jiang Chen. Not that she should have necessarily ended up with Wu Bosong, but it’s clear overall that he just treats her better. :/ 

Generally I just enjoyed Wu Bosong, Lin Jing Xiao, and Lu Yang’s characters and actually liked watching them more than the main couple most of the time.

What I didn’t like:

How Jiang Chen, like 90% of the time... doesn’t treat Chen Xiaoxi well - this blog post does a good job of illustrating how his behavior is actually pretty toxic/problematic in a way that the show never really addresses. It’s annoying that just because he’s good-looking and intelligent/successful, he gets a free pass to be a jerk. 

Also didn’t like all the times characters comment on how good-looking he is and how Chen Xiaoxi looks too plain to be with him :///

How Lin Jing Xiao and Lu Yang’s characters kind of just... stop developing once they all get into college (and their relationship is kind of treated not super seriously besides when they get married)

Most of the series post-time skip to be honest :/ 

Wait, My Youth What I liked:

The main couple! I really appreciated the steady and gradual development of Su Cancan and Lan Tianye’s relationship from enemies (I somehow totally didn’t catch when I first watched that Tianye had deflated Cancan’s bike tire in the first episode) to friends to lovers. I could say a lot more, but I just really appreciated the characters’ chemistry, each action, big or small, they do to support each other through the various challenges they go through.

Emphasis on the mutual teasing - Like, Lan Tianye can definitely say some mean things, but it’s clear that Su Cancan is also able to tease him back and doesn’t internalize what he says. Sure, he’s not innocent of pushing Su Cancan away when he’s upset/jealous (e.g. when he first realizes she actually likes Lin Jiazhe in episode 5, or when he is curt with her when it seems she might not go to the Jay Chou concert with him later), but he also does show that he cares for her both through his actions and his words. 

I’m not well-versed in Asian dramas so not sure how unconventional this is, but I did appreciate how although Lan Tianye definitely rescues Su Cancan in many traditional ways, she is also given a chance to stand up for/defend him on more than one occasion

How Lan Tianye genuinely thinks that Su Cancan likes him for the first few episodes (and how Lin Jiazhe apparently also thinks she likes Lan Tianye???). It’s both sad and satisfying when he learns the truth

The part when the radio club members each almost seem like they’re about to wish happy birthday to Su Cancan (what trolls, haha)

How eventually Su Cancan and Tao Yating become friends (though I wish they had done more to develop their friendship than they did)

The breakup felt pretty understandable/in-character based on how Lan Tianye and Su Cancan had both been developed up to that point (though no clue how realistic it is for her to not have gotten in three times :(). It was definitely sad, but also felt true to the characters/the themes the show had been setting up of going after your goals/dreams

I also like how it wasn’t just any one of their faults, really - while I appreciated that Tao Yating called Lan Tianye out for the attitude with which he was treating Su Cancan, it’s also clear that she was not helping the relationship by keeping things from him (even if it was for an understandable reason)

I liked Ms. Huang (especially the scene when she pretends to be strict to a student about reading after the gaokao, and also when she coaches her students on test tips before the gaokao) and I’m glad they visit her at the end.

I appreciated that you get to see that Lan Tianye and Lin Jiazhe caring for each other/being good friends - I honestly wish there was more of that after they go to college, even when they are competing for Su Cancan (kind of sad that it seems like Lan Tianye would used to go support Lin Jiazhe at his performances, but that’s not really shown/mentioned later).

What I didn’t like:

I didn’t enjoy the other characters as much as in ALSB - or at least, I felt like the show was trying to make the viewers feel like the radio club members were a cohesive group of friends, but I don’t think I ever really believed it. Or at least not to the degree that the friends in ALSB felt like friends. Granted, maybe this is more realistic/representative of how friend groups can be, but it definitely felt less compelling to watch. 

I think part of the reason the friendships felt less real is that most of their interactions with each other involved talking about their romantic love interests? 

While I liked Meili herself and I liked that she was getting her own development/story arc once they get to college, I wasn’t super interested in her relationship with Tang Xingyi

Even more than the above, I really didn’t care about Tao Yating and Lin Zhou’s “relationship” / her one-sided crush beyond being glad that they didn’t actually end up together / it didn’t seem like he ever reciprocated her feelings. (Reaaalllly glad they didn’t end up going down that route.)

I totally thought the show was going to do more with Wenxin (Cancan’s roommate/Lin Zhou’s sister), but it seems like she only existed to have a random and hopeless crush on Lin Jiazhe, encourage Lan Tianye about his feelings, and contrive an interaction between Tao Yatin and Lin Zhou.

Not sure if this was the acting, but Lin Jiazhe was unsettling to me at first - I think it was hard for me to get a grasp on his character/how he was actually feeling and thinking. I also thought the beginning of his feelings for Su Cancan (that they both like Harry Potter) felt kind of random/not super meaningful.

[fierysafrina]

Stubborn Love | Nash Gold Jr. x Reader | Chapter 3

Fandom: Kuroko no Basket Rating: Teen Genre: Action | Drama | Romance | Hurt/Comfort Summary: You lived many lives, but only one was always real.  Notes: I had this idea. It looked and sounded nice, but I had no idea how to start it. It’s kinda like mafia AU thingy with multiple chapters because the idea itself turned out long. I was conflicted about the title and when I ran into song, with the same title, it all fell perfectly. I also blame NCIS LA for coming with this idea - but totally worth it. Any review/feedback is welcomed.

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 (to be updated) Fanfiction

Gasping for air, you jolted awake. Blinking rapidly you heard beeping by your head and turned to the source only to stop midway. Your eyes widened at the person that was sitting on the chair, sleeping. The pain soon made you look at your left shoulder that was bandaged. With a silent scowl, you looked back at Nash, who remained sleeping.

“What an idiot I am…” Going with hand through your hair, you bit your lower lip. “Why does it have to be you?” You murmured and sat up, wincing at the pain. Your movements were quiet, so they didn’t bring much attention to Nash or nurses that passed by just outside the room. “By now you probably know the real me…” Your voice was even quieter and you looked at IV that was on your right back hand.

I shouldn’t stay here any longer. Grabbing the IV, you snatched it out, hissing at the sting and pressed hand back on to stop the bleeding. With narrowed eyebrows and gasp forcing itself from your throat, you stood up from bed. You stumbled, but held on bed in time.

Nash’s groan caught your attention and you looked at him, waiting in silence. You wondered if he is going to wake up, but he shifted head to the side and let out a sigh. Letting out the breath you held, you approached him and observed his peaceful expression. The way his nose scrunched told you he was worried. A small smile spread over your lips and you reached out with hand, tracing a finger down his cheek. He shuddered, but continued to sleep.

“Kuznetsov sends his regards.”

A shiver ran down your spine when you remembered the man from the café. Shaking your head, you looked around and immediately calmed down when it was only the two of you in the room. There was a sigh as you looked back at Nash.

“Who would have thought I would fall for you…” Your voice was quiet. You leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, your eyes closing tight. “I’m sorry, Nash. I’m so sorry for lying to you…” It was only a whisper, but you felt him move. Pulling away, you looked at the night table beside and saw your phone. You took it and unlocked it before texting a message.

            My cover is blown. I’m going into hiding.

Taking out the battery and the cards, you looked at Nash one last time. “I wonder…” You murmured in silence. “If I weren’t undercover, would we still meet?”

You already knew the answer.

Looking around the room, you searched for more of your things and saw a bag by the closet. You walked towards it and looked inside, seeing your working clothes. Narrowing your eyebrows, you bit your lower lip and took it. Looking at Nash one last time, you closed your eyes and left the room.

“It’s for the best.” You whispered and walked down the hallway. The hallway and hospital wing in general were empty and you felt rather happy it was that way. The last thing you needed was to run from both Nash and Kuznetsov.

Once you reached the doors, you halted your movements when you heard familiar laughter from the other side. Your blood ran cold.

“You think she’s sleeping?”

You could recognize that voice anywhere. He had the Russian accent and only one man in whole world could have that gruffness in his voice. You looked around, searching for any possible escape.

“She better be asleep so boss can finally finish her off.”

The other voice spoke and it was no mistake now that they worked under Kuznetsov. You cursed before you spotted a room with doors opened. Running inside, you closed the doors and leaned on them from your right side, listening to the voice of the Russians as they passed by.

You waited for a moment and once sure you were safe and they were gone, you left the room. Looking down the hallway, you were ready to run out, but stopped midway when you remembered Nash was still inside. You turned back down the hallway, the two men still heard enough and cursed.

“He can take care of himself…” You told yourself, knowing that he could, but the guilt began to creep out.

“Don’t leave me alone here!”

“I don’t like this heat!”

“Dad! Where is dad?”

You let out a shaky breath and closed your eyes. “Damn it…” Turning around, you followed back down the hallway where your room was. Peeking from the corner, you saw the men were standing right outside the room, their guns with a silencer ready.

“I don’t have any weapon with me…” You slapped hand over your forehead, but still decided to jump out. “Hey, Agapov, Babichev,” You smirked when they turned their heads at you, their eyes wide like they just saw a ghost. “I’m here.” Backing away, you grinned when they aimed guns at you, but before they could shoot you broke into run.

You ran down the hallway and out of the doors, some people looking at you. You spotted one of Nash’s men and cursed at your luck when he saw you. He pointed at you, but before he could call, Agapov and Babichev rushed out, their guns in their hands. People screamed and moved to the side. You jumped over the seats, wincing at the pain in your shoulder, moving further from Nash’s man. You could feel his eyes on you and you didn’t need to guess twice it was that of a surprise and shock.

Laughter escaped your lips as you turned around the corner. You felt adrenaline rush through your veins, making you ache for more action. How you missed it.

Reaching the fire exit, you jumped over the railings, running down two, three steps at a time. You looked up and saw Agapov looking down at you before he aimed and shot. He missed by few and you knew the next will reach you.

You came to a stop a moment later when you saw two doors and empty closet. Looking back up, you decided to hide into closet, to shake them off, knowing it will take longer if you decide to fight them. You held your breath and stilled your movements when you heard them close. Your heart was beating hard and fast against your chest, making you wonder just how it went unnoticed by them as they passed you and continued to run down the stairs.

Waiting for a minute, you used it to calm down before slowly and carefully stepping out. You looked around and smiled, realizing you were alone. Seeing the number of the floor, you bit your lower lip.

Kacey’s image played in your head the moment she hit the ground. A shiver ran down your spine. You couldn’t clearly see where she was shot, but you heard Nash speak with Nick she was at Intensive care unit. You bit your lower lip hard, tasting blood, wondering if you should visit her or not. It was a gamble, but you had to choose quickly.

You stood outside the room where Kacey was lying inside. She was covered with white sheet, her arms over them and mask on her mouth and nose. She was surrounded with machines and you could see her heartbeat was normal, much normal than yours was. You hesitated walking in, but before you knew it, you found yourself standing beside her bed, looking at her pale face.

“I’m sorry…” You breathed out before you could stop yourself. You laughed, feeling ridiculous. Taking a step closer, you put the bag you still held on the ground and tucked her hair from her forehead.

“I’m sorry I got you in this mess, Kacey.” You whispered and sighed, pulling your hand away. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m an agent from DC.” You laughed louder this time. “I was on a mission to go undercover and find any kind of Nash’s illegal business or weakness or anything.” You slumped on the chair beside. “I can’t even do that anymore. I thought I was ready to go back undercover, but when I saw those kids… I couldn’t…” You lowered your head, your body shaking. “A-and then he even treated me well…”

“My child…”

Your head snapped up with eyes wide when you saw Kacey looking at you. Her eyes showed sadness and pity. You looked away. You couldn’t see her now.

“I…I knew you were more than just a waitress.” Kacey’s voice was quiet and hoarse. She pulled the mask down and took a deep breath before she reached out for your hand, holding on it tight. You flinched. “I wondered…when you’d slip, but it never ha-happened…” She coughed and you reached out to put mask back on her mouth, but she shook with head.

“Please…” You begged quietly with eyes teary.

“Let me finish…” She smiled weakly. You heart ached when you saw her so weak. “I… While I don’t know what happened on your l-last mission, I can see it left a deep scar behind. I don’t blame you for lying, I know you had good intentions and now… Now your past is hunting you, isn’t it?”

You nodded as tear streamed down your cheeks. It took every sheer power in you to not break down. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” She raised her hand and wiped away the tear. “I understand.” The corners of her lips turned up in a small smile. “Can you do me a favour?”

“Anything,” Your answer was quick and you held her hand, giving her a tight squeeze.

“I believe Amelia isn’t your real name.”

Your eyes widened, but you laughed and shook with head. “It isn’t,” You lowered your gaze to the floor and closed your eyes. “[Name]...” You whispered.

“[Name]…” Kacey repeated and her smile widened. “It’s a beautiful name.”

Another tear streamed down your cheek as you smiled.

“Don’t cry,” She let out a silent sigh. “It’s alright. Know that I still care for you, no matter where you are. If you need help, you know where to find me. I’ll always help you out.”

Your smile faded and you nodded. Shutting your eyes tight, you held on Kacey’s hand for a while longer before you stood up. “I have to go…”

“Be safe,” Kacey smiled.

“Always am…” You whispered and before you disappeared from her room, you heard her speak in silent voice: “Trust Nash.”

You halted on your steps, but left without turning around. Using the nearest bathroom, you changed into your working clothes and washed your face. Even though the blouse was stained with blood, it had to work until you got new clothes. Throwing the hospital gown away, you left the bathroom and looked down the hallway. There was no one you knew and it made you feel at peace. No one knew you were at ICU. That was good.

As you walked down the hallway, some nurses gave you a side look, but you smiled at them and continued walking. You didn’t let yourself be disturbed. Passing Kacey’s room again, you looked inside just in time to see Zack talking with her. You caught your breath and broke into run unconsciously, only to come face to face with more of Russian men.

“There you are.” Agapov smirked and grabbed for your left arm.

You winced at the pain and looked around. Babichev stood not too far away with their subordinates. One against five? I went against ten too… Gritting your teeth you looked back at Agapov and stomped on his feet.

He cursed, but instead of releasing you, only held you tighter. You yelped, but refused to leave without a fight. With the corner of your eye you saw Babichev approaching you, but you focused back on Agapov as you turned your left hand your way and raised it. With right hand, you used your palm and pushed his arm down, freeing yourself. You turned around and ran down the hallway, running around the corners with the men following behind.

I need a diversion to shake them off. You frowned and looked around for anything that could help you get out safe. There was nothing, but your eyes lit up when you saw elevator doors closing. Looking back, the men were rather behind, so you paced up and jumped in the elevator, knowing you will manage to escape.

The people inside looked at you confused and you only smiled, apologizing. You focused to the doors, hiding yourself further behind in case they would try to catch you on floors lower.

You weren’t sure if you were lucky, but you managed to leave the hospital unnoticed by anyone that could know you. With one look back at the hospital, you let out a deep sigh before you looked back in front. You knew you had to disappear Nash realizes you are gone and before Kuznetsov reaches for you.

Nash has never felt such rage before. Waking up to one of his men calling that you have escaped made his blood boil. He expected to see you lying on bed, sleeping, but it was empty, dishevelled.

“Where is she?” He glared at the nurse, who was shivering in front of him.

“S-s-she …” She couldn’t speak as Nash’s presence and glare alone made her knees weak. “S-s-some m-m-men…R-Russians…” she stuttered out.

“Russians?” Nash frowned and looked at Allen, who ran to his side. “What’s wrong?”

“Zack called. He said Amelia was with Kacey just before he came.” Allen shortly explained.

“What?!” Nash hissed and walked down the hallway. “Why didn’t she say anything sooner?” he cursed and took out phone from his pocket that began ringing. “This better be important, Patterson…”

“It’s about Amelia.” Patterson spoke quietly on the other side. Nash halted on his steps, his gaze hardening. “She’s been undercover since she came to your café. She had a mission to bring you down, finding your illegal business. I don’t know what happened, but less than an hour ago, she sent message to Wilson, saying her cover was blown and that she’s going into hiding. There’s been no contact from her since then.”

Nash gripped his phone and Allen looked at Silver, who joined them. He shook with head when Silver tried to speak. They both looked at Nash.

“You’re saying that Amelia, or whatever her name is, deceived me just so she could bring me down?” He repeated and opened the doors when he reached Kacey’s room. Zack and Kacey looked at Nash. Zack soon averted his gaze while Kacey remained calm and composed. “You mean to say that cops have been on my tail this whole damn time?” He hissed.

“They have, but from what I could gather, they didn’t find anything usable. Wilson is pissed that there’s nothing, yet is still determined that she’ll come back. I doubt he’ll take his chance after reading what happened in Russia.” Patterson covered his phone and talked to someone while Nash sat on the chair right next to Kacey’s bed.

“Patterson,” He called.

“Sorry, Wilson just passed by. He wanted to know if there’s any news about her. What do you need?”

“Come to the hospital and you better spit out everything that happened when she went to Russia and what happened after.” Nash looked at Kacey, whose eyes widened. “Allen will send you the number of the room. Be here as soon as possible.” He glanced at his friend and hanged up. There was silence before he looked straight at Kacey.

“Nash…” Kacey whispered.

“Save it, Kacey.” His tone was cold and it sent shivers down everyone’s spine. “For how long did you know?”

“She told me when she came.” She let out a sigh. “I had my suspicion this whole time as she was determined to stay at the café and search for any opportunity she could use for looking around.”

“And you didn’t think it would be best to tell me? Or at least mention?”

Kacey turned to Nash with hardened look when his voice turned colder. “You won’t use that tone on me, Nash.” She spoke. “You may be my boss, but you won’t treat me or [Name] like that.” Nash narrowed his eyebrows. “Yes, her name is [Name] and don’t you dare blame her for anything before you hear her side. There’s a reason why she had to leave; why she had to disappear. You have contacts everywhere, use them and find her before you regret it.”

“The only thing I regret is letting her in.” He growled and leaned forward. “She’s a cop and I don’t do well with them. You know that better than anyone.”

“You fell for her!” She raised her voice. Nash’s eyes widened and he pulled away, disbelief covering his face. “All this anger you feel! Those glances you gave her whenever you were at the café. When men looked at her like some prey and your tension. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel anything!” She coughed and Zack was quick to reach for a glass of water, but she shook with head, refusing. “I saw that look in your eyes. It was the same when I saw my ex-fiancé looking at his wife.” Her expression softened and Nash averted his gaze.

“Why didn’t she tell me anything?” His voice was silent.

“Would you tell her if you were undercover, trying to bring her down?” Kacey reached out for Nash’s hand. “She’s hunted down by people from her past and she’s all alone in this. She couldn’t endanger you or any of your men even though she knows you can take care of yourselves.”

Nash closed his eyes and sighed, giving Kacey a tight squeeze. Before he spoke, the doors opened and a man in middle thirties walked in. He wore police uniform.

“Patterson,” Nash focused on him.

“She’s [Full Name],” Patterson began. He looked at Kacey and smiled softly, the woman returning it in no time. “She’s from DC’s one of best agents on the field. You could say she could pursue a sniper, but didn’t due to some unknown reason. The rest of her past is unknown even to Wilson.” He looked at Nash, who narrowed his eyebrows, confused.

Kacey continued to hold Nash’s hand as Patterson talked.

“Two years ago, she went on a mission to Russia, to take out one of the five mafia bosses, Kuznetsov.” Patterson looked at Kacey, who startled at the name. “They had blew up a one-store building where Kuznetsov was in, making a deal with another boss, but…” he hesitated. “They blew up a building where children were in.”

Nash widened his eyes and he froze.

Patterson let out the breath he held. “Two were Kuznetsov’s, four were his friends’ and few more of their friends. [Name] was confused, because she told different coordinates. Now no one knows the truth what really went on with coordinates, but [Name] took the blame. Those men hunting her work for Kuznetsov.” He looked at Kacey once more. “They always do their job, leaving no one alive, but if Kacey’s alive then that means their focus is [Name] alone.”

“What happened after the mission?” Nash raised his head.

“She didn’t return on the field for almost a year.” He continued and crossed his arms over his chest. He narrowed his eyebrows. “She left DC on her own wish even though it looks like her boss was the one, who decided moved her. Coming to LA, her first undercover mission after the Russia was you.” His eyes met with Nash’s, which darkened. “At first I wasn’t sure of the identity since she was new in the city, but now that she’s gone it all makes sense.”

“Does anyone from the station know where she is?” Kacey decided to ask.

Patterson looked at her and shook with head. “That’s the part of her that could make her best sniper and the reason why she was one of the top. She can disappear without a trace that she was ever here in LA or that she was alive. It’s also why all her undercover missions always went too damn well until the Russian one.” He sighed as he went with hand through his dark brown hair. “Everyone at DC knows she isn’t capable of killing kids, so something must have gone very wrong.”

“Having Kuznetsov on her tail is even worse.” Nick spoke as he walked through doors inside. Everyone looked at him. “His men are all around the hospital and every corner possible.” He looked at Nash. “Her only bet right now is to leave the country, America in general.”

“Where the hell could she go? Antarctica?” scowled Nash.

“She has some connections in Europe.” Patterson said. “Spain, Italy, Switzerland… I heard Wilson telling a cop to let [Name] know that her connections will provide her enough security to hide from Kuznetsov.”

“He probably already knows she left the country.” Kacey’s voice was quiet and she looked at Nash, who turned to her. “If what they say is true then she isn’t safe anywhere. Who knows what connections do they have if they’re one of big five families. And Russians at that. Nash,” She gripped his hand tight. “Find her. Please…”

“And what? Hide her from the Earth?” He asked with rather harsh tone. He softened when he saw the sadness in Kacey’s eyes. “I can’t send my men to war with someone like Kuznetsov. He’s too powerful even if all my friends gather together.”

“You have connections everywhere,” She laughed. “How could she slip through their eyes and land in your territory, focused on bringing you down? If she can do that, she can hide and appear to those she wishes. She may be sloppier, but she’ll be on guard twice as much. She won’t trust anyone, but I’m more than sure she’ll trust you.”

“How can you be so sure?” Nash looked away, scowling. “She tried to bring me down even though she knew I’m mafia boss.”

“She loves you.”

Nash froze as everyone remained silent and still, knowing better than to interrupt. His eyes widened as he turned to Kacey. “That was all bluff for her job.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Kacey’s gaze hardened. “I know the look in someone’s eyes when I see it. [Name] watched you with same eyes like you did. You two looked at each other the same way I looked at my fiancé before he left me.” Nash looked towards window, his teeth gritting tight. “And don’t tell me that all these days you spent together didn’t mean anything.”

“She’s an agent, Kacey.” Nash growled out. “For all we know she could have easily slipped in and out even with all of my men at the café. Who knows how much knowledge she took with her.” He stood from chair, releasing Kacey’s hand.

“Don’t turn your back on her, Nash.” Kacey pleaded. “She needs someone and believe me, trust me, when I say that she loves you.”

Nick looked at Nash as Silver, Zack and Allen looked at Kacey. There was silence before Patterson’s phone rang. Patterson took his phone out and narrowed his eyebrows, but picked it up without a word.

A minute passed before he spoke in confident voice. “Got it, sir. I’ll work on reaching her.” Hanging up the phone, he looked at Nash. “She left the States thirty minutes ago and is on the way to Madrid Barajas. There’s no stop in-between, so the moment she lands in Spain, she’ll most likely disappear again.”

“Nash!” Kacey called.

Nash looked at her and they stared at each other for a moment before he went with hand through his hair and sighed. “Nick,” He turned to him. “Call our friends in Spain. It’s time they return the favour.”

Nick smirked and nodded, already taking out his phone from the pocket. Kacey relaxed as she smiled gently.

“Don’t thank me yet, Kacey.” Nash glanced at her, his lips turning into smirk. “I’ll show her who the boss is and that she’s messing with the wrong person.” Looking at his men, he added. “Well guys. It’s time to pack. We’re going to Spain.”