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thewertsearch · 2 years ago

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TheWertsearch shipping chart

Ver. 1, Act 5.1

Let's get into it!

I've included every Player and a couple of wildcards. I thought about adding minor characters like the Guardians and Exiles, but we don't know too much about their dynamics yet. For what it's worth, I think the first three Exiles would be a cute triad, and might add WQ when we've seen more of her. I don't really ship any of the Guardians, since we know next to nothing about their personalities.

I'm going to mostly focus on potential dynamics. There aren't many canon ships in here, but hopefully that'll change as we move through the comic, because I honestly got pretty invested in some of these while working on this post. Let's dive in!

Hearts

Rose/Kanaya is an obvious lock. I've talked about it before, and my thoughts haven't really changed, so I won't repeat myself here. Their dynamic is great, and it's even better now that we know Kanaya used to idolize Rose. I can't wait to see them talk that one out. At this point, I'm 100% convinced that they should be a couple, and about 90% convinced that it's going to happen in canon. Bring on the #RosemarySweep!

John/Karkat is an intriguing prospect. John's optimism is exactly what a sourpuss like Karkat needs, and their conversations are clearly having a positive effect on him. Conversely, Karkat's decisive leadership style might, in time, rub off on John. The two complement each other well - and since it's clear that Karkat doesn't really hate John, I think they're well-placed for a red romance, rather than a black one.

Karkat/Nepeta has potential. Nepeta clearly sees something in him, and I don't think it's just the 'cat' in his name. They both have a romantic streak, although neither of them seems all that experienced with (concupiscent) romance. I don't know, I just think it might be cute! I could also envision a minor moirallegiance between them. Karkat isn't that hot-tempered, but chilling out with Nepeta and bouncing ships off each others' heads might help him let off some steam.

Tavros/Gamzee would be pretty cute. Tavros is used to being Vriska's punching bag - and, more broadly, he's used to conversations where you're supposed to be punching. Gamzee, too, is frequently insulted, even by people who call themselves his friends. Bring these two trolls together, though, and Alternia's antagonistic social norms completely disappear. They're a breath of fresh air, and I think they deserve a quiet corner in the Veil to play Fiduspawn together.

Terezi/Vriska would make a great power couple, and I want to see them take on the world together - but I don't see it happening any time soon. They both have a lot of growing to do - and besides, I think another quadrant is in the cards first.

Jack/Droog. Yes, really. This one isn't complex, I just think they'd be funny together. Plus, a hot-blooded, stab happy gangster pairs perfectly with a stone-cold, calculating partner. It's like cookies and cream!

Dave/Jade is another one I've discussed before. Jade is playfully, authentically herself, and Dave, who's still treating life like a bit he needs to commit to, might have something to learn from her. There's a real person behind that persona, and Jade likes him.

I'm a Jade/Rose truther - but there's not much to report on this, since the game seems intent on keeping them from interacting much. Hopefully Act 5.2 will see them working together in the Medium, and we can really shine a light on this dynamic.

Gamzee/Eridan was initially a joke ship. Eridan wants a matesprit, but he'd only date a highblood, and Gamzee's the only one without that quadrant filled, so Eridan better learn to ride a unicycle. Except... weirdly enough, it sort of works? Unlike Feferi, Gamzee wouldn't be stressed out by being around Eridan - and despite what you might expect, Eridan doesn't even seem to dislike Gamzee. He opened up to him about Feferi, at least a little - and even slammed a Faygo when Gamzee suggested it. When talking to Gamzee, Eridan wouldn't be able to dance around the point, like he was doing with Feferi and Kanaya. Gamzee wouldn't pick on his 'hints', so he'd have to resort to direct, open communication, which might be good for him. Plus - you can say a lot of things about Eridan, but he sure ain't a quitter. Gamzee's Sopor addiction would annoy the hell out of him, and there's a decent chance he might actually be able to annoy him off the stuff. If we go with the moirallegiance angle, Gamzee would probably leave Eridan too baffled to give into any Alternian bloodlust - and any overblown genocide plans would fly right over Gamzee's head. Wow, this really did start as a joke, but I'm beginning to convince myself. I... guess we'll see what happens?

Diamonds

I'm convinced Kanaya -> Terezi would work. Terezi is violent and dangerous - but unlike Vriska, her violence takes the form of mind games. Kanaya is good at mind games, and I think she'd make an excellent, Machiavellian moirail for Terezi, using ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.txt-style rhetorical traps to trick her into good behavior. She could even collaborate with her future girlfriend, Rose, to design clever ways to keep Terezi from getting more of her friends killed. And you know Terezi would love it.

That leaves Vriska unattended. We can't have that, so it's time to make a case for Feferi -> Vriska. I think Feferi would make a lot more progress with Vriska than she ever did with Eridan. The biggest problem with Eridan was that he was insincere - he wasn't honest about his proclivities or intentions, and Feferi was working her ass off just to figure out what he was thinking. By contrast, Vriska is extremely sincere about her emotions - I don't think she can fake a feeling. Feferi will know exactly what she's getting with Vriska, because Vriska will constantly tell her. Feferi could pacify Vriska, I'm sure of it. She's cheerful, persistent, physically powerful, immune to Vriska's psionics, and has killed thousands to feed her lusus. Feferi understands Vriska.

Sollux <--> Aradia is a potential bidirectional moirallegiance. They both have their violent moods, and they know each other well enough to recognize and help each other through them. Aradia could potentially use her necromancy to get the soon-to-be-dead out of Sollux's head - and he might be able to remove Aradia's violent impulses entirely, using his technical know-how to revert Equius' changes and turn her body into a true reflection of her living self. Honestly, they still have a shot at hearts, too - but I think diamonds is the way to go for now.

Feferi -> Equius might work - he'd have to listen to a violet-blood. Plus, spending time with the princess might help Equius learn that the Empire is bullshitting him about the hemospectrum. After all, she's at the top of the totem pole - and yet, she's against a lot of what the Empire stands for. What gives?

Spades

Jack\Lord English was originally just a joke, but I've decided to start shipping it earnestly for shits and giggles - especially since we've learned about kismesissitude, a quadrant they fit perfectly into. Maybe there's more than one reason that Slick was so single-minded about catching the guy.

To be honest, Vriska\Terezi is basically inevitable. There's no way they peacefully talked it out during the session, and now they're stuck on a tiny meteor together. These are resourceful girls - they're probably already plotting their next moves, and they'd be fools not to factor each other into whatever plans they're making. They will come to blows, and then they'll realize how much they're enjoying the experience. I think this will be our first truly balanced kismesissitude, and I'm very interested in seeing where the chips fall.

Clubs

Aradia -> Vriska/Tavros. Someone needs to keep these two apart. Robot!Aradia doesn't have the ideal temperament for auspisticism, but things are far from ideal at this point. She's Tavros' old FLARP teammate, and even in her current state, she's still invested in his well-being. This might also be a way for Aradia to reconcile with Tavros, since it doesn't seem like they've spoken much since they died. What does Tavros think of this new Aradia, and will his opinion change if she starts to intercede against Vriska on his behalf? I want to find out.

Feferi -> Equius/Aradia. This one would be so easy. All Feferi would need to do is tell Equius to back the fuck off, and he'd be obliged to obey. I don't like the hemospectrum, but if we're stuck with it for now, let's at least use it for good, hm?

That's it! It was the first shipping chart I've ever made, and I had a lot of fun with it. I'll be doing this again the next time we 'finish' an Act, and it'll be interesting to see how this evolves over time.

See you next time, for the beginning of Act 5.2!

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #deep dives

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urcharactersclasspect · 2 years ago

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I’ve also tried classpecting the archons but I’m not great at classpecting lol

Barbatos: heir of breath because he is literally reskinned John Egbert lol but also he is freedom and controls the wind

Morax: not certain yet, I like your ideas of him being a light player! I also considered time or blood I think

Beelzebul: mage of time? She understands the flow of time and has suffered from things coming to an end. Or maybe a witch because she refuses to accept that time continues onward and is trying to control it

Nahida: I haven’t finished this quest yet so I might get spoiled by sending this ask, but she seems like a total mind player of some kind to me so far

LMFAO VENTI IS JUST RESKINNED JOHN

I dont exactly agree with that but thats too funny

Theres lots of “Raiden is time player” stuff so far

The reason I think Baal is a Rage or Hope player is because her beliefs on what Enternity are very specifically skewed not JUST to mean "time passing"

This is something I've found very interesting about almost every Electro user IVe seen the quests of, or know what they act like. Almost every Electro user, as a very skewed, contrarian view of things around them. They often times have familiars, or rather, "imaginary friends" created by their own beliefs and that stem from a prolonged sense of loneliness and almost denial of things, as they desire to take control of reality around them to cope with the rather harsh realities around them.

This is seen with Razor, through his wolf spirit and his denial to properly intergrate back into a society he would normally belong to and his wanting to see only the wolves as his means to life. This is seen through Fischl too, with her Crow/Raven companion and her almost sincerely delusional way of speech and addressing herself, reffering to herself as Royalty, a creator of worlds and speaking boistoriously to a point the crow needs to translate her often. Qaqing isnt quite like this from what I've seen, but she believes the only true path is to a;llow the beliefs and hopes of people towards gods should die out in the modern age. Even Ningguang implicating this would normally make her look like someone kinda crazy and not exactly as trust worthy to people typically.

This gives me the exact energies of characters like Eridan and Jake English, Eridan with his extreme veiws skewed towards joining the enemy being the only way out of the game; and with Jake English's denial and deep seeted need to act like a Cool Movie Guy and be very peppy macho on the surface to ignore the reality around him.

Baal does the same exact thing to absolute extreme. She believes hiding herself away, creating a new version of herself to take over and leaving the rest to Yae Miko and the other politicians in Inuzuma will just take care of the rest will allow nothing to ever change. But she winds up doing this to a tyrannical level. She even tries to create another person out of the hope it will be a replacement for the loss of her sister with what she remembers and believes her sister to have been more like to see if she could create hope for a future to continue as it always had been with her twin on the helm of things, and as a fear of controlling him but having no use for him, tosses him.

Rage however is all about delusional levels of anger and wrath, which given Scaramouche and other facts about Raiden, i dont think I need to go deeper into there but u get the picture. Shes deeply troubled, depressed and resentful of her sisters passing, so much so she would have rather create another plaine of existence where experiencing the real world just doesn’t even need to happen anymore; Shes in denial that “enternity” staying in her world and just stagnate in a never ending place where nothing bad or good ever happens isnt realistic, isnt healthy and time passing needs to take its course, but more in the sense she just doesn’t want to face it at all, she doesnt want to accept people and things need to change, need to face hardships, and that she needs to accept responsibility for what she herself has done too by being gone for so long. She also has Yae Miko, who while down to earth in comparison to most Electros I’ve seen, is literally Baal’s own familiar that translates her in a sense and knows whats best for Raiden, which she understands Baal’s mentality / way of thinking a little too well. Is still of the belief she can be redeemed even during her tyranny.

I dont know much about Beidou - But shes a Pirate, and I dont really need to explain why this seems like a rebellion out of resentment for how things are and how she drinks and is always a lot less uptight than characters like Ningguang seems like her own sense of Escapism.

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ask-march-eridan · 3 years ago

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I just wanted to say that I am a very new homestuck fan, and since this is my first march in this fandom. I don't really know what march eridan is, so I clicked on the tag to investigate, and I found your blog.

Despite me being far too young to remember the golden age of stuff like this (not to mention that I haven't even been a tumblr user for 2 years yet), something about this blog is just so utterly beautiful to me. There is this air here that feels like a type of magic being kept alive.

I don't know if you get many asks anymore (I imagine that there isn't much since your last post was nearly a month ago), but I just want to say thank you. Thank you for existing.

That's about it, have a nice day/night.

BM: Oh my god you’ve got me in tears 😭😭 this is such a nice message. This is exactly what I wanted to do with this blog. March!Eridan means so much to me and was so important to my transition and I just want to keep the character alive. I really wanted to have the feeling of an early internet MySpace page.

Your right, it is a little hard to keep this blog running with no asks but i love doing it so much that I’m gonna keep doing it as long as I can. Thank you so much for this message! You truly made my day! <3

#ask march eridan #march!eridan #march eridan

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hunnybel · 4 years ago

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Eridan reading light novels to Tegiri because of a headcanon I have~ Which has manifested into a fic that can be found under the cut

It was a part of himself Tegiri was ashamed of. How could one such as himself, one whose very existence was so entangled with words and reading, have that as his biggest weakness? A burden, a flaw, something that made his already uphill climb to recognition ever more treacherous. Yes, he passed it off as slow and methodical, but few knew the truth that it wasn't him over-preparing and aiming for perfection. No; shamefully he was forced to take that time to even fully read through a passage a single time. Words and compositions had a tendency to get jumbled in his head, letters mocking him as he fought to grasp the meaning behind them. He could do it; it was a tedious effort, but he was capable.

Whether it was related to his future work or to his all-consuming hobby, the battle with literacy was a constant. Even those who, like him, were connoisseurs of the Eastern Alternian Animated Fine Arts, had gone so far as to mock his preference for the dubbed versions of that which they loved and shared. Of course they wouldn't understand, but dubs were severely underestimated regardless of it being the only real way for him to be able to watch shows without his curse bringing him untold aggravation.

The curse which he hated to name, in fear that recognising it would give more power, more credence to it. Dyslexia.

Because of the struggle, many works he had interest in tended to fall by the wayside. The original novelizations of the shows he enjoyed being one of the prime victims. And it was only recently that he had finally found a cure for that. His struggle may have been disheartening, but it ultimately led to the opportunity he had now been presented with and was even currently taking advantage of.

His matesprit reading to him.

Sure it had taken a while for him to open up about this particular fact to Eridan, but with that vulnerability came the offer, given by Eridan himself, to have the violetblood read aloud to him. Of course he was surprised by such a thing, but he would be the last one to turn down getting to hear the other's voice and at such length.

They were currently settled in against the futon-couch in Tegiri's hive, Eridan holding the book open in front of him as he relaxed against the back of the futon, Tegiri seated next to him, head nestled back, tilted to be able to vaguely read over Eridan's shoulder, though he wasn't actually trying to follow along that way. They were close. Close enough that Eridan didn't need to raise his voice too loudly for Tegiri to hear every word; close enough that Tegiri could feel the natural coolness of the other's body temperature radiating off him; close enough that he could feel the way the other shifted against the couch as he turned pages or adjusted his sitting position.

It was easy to get lost in these words; nothing frustrating, just the soothing sound of Eridan's voice speaking the story that was somewhat familiar, having known the anime adapted from it already. Tegiri really was completely charmed by his voice, slight speech impediment and all; in fact, it just added to how sweet it sounded to him. The way he pronounced some words was so pleasant, it almost made Tegiri smile, refraining only because that might get noticed and called out and he would be too embarrassed if questioned about it. And he didn't know how Eridan managed to bring the right intonations and dramatic flourish to every line without having read it all before or reading ahead, but he seemed to bring life to every word as he went. Maybe that was a little strange, to make such observations, but he didn't care. Tegiri felt special, privileged, lucky to have such an intimate moment, this sort of affection shown to him.

And it was then he realised he had been so focused on how Eridan sounded, he completely missed what he’d been saying. While trying to catch a familiar word or phrase on the page, Tegiri calculated he’d spaced out for about three paragraphs worth of words while listening to his voice. And now he was faced with a dilemma. Did he tell him and have to explain himself? Or did he just have to deal with having lost that part of the story? The longer he deliberated, the more story he lost, and in a moment of panic, he said a quiet "ah-" as if to interrupt. And it seemed to have gotten Eridan's attention.

"Hm? What is it?"

"Oh, uh…" Now would be the time if he was to say something. "I just remembered how that scene played out in the animated version." So that was how this was going to go. He was lying, of course. This part hadn't been animated, so he really was just missing a whole part of the story now.

"We should watch that together later, then." The small smile that accompanied the comment made Tegiri's pusher skip a beat. Ugh, he was going to be exposed as a liar but he couldn't say no to him.

"O-of course. When we finish the light novel series, we can watch the animated show." That seemed to satisfy Eridan and he went back to reading. Well, that had broken him out of his semi-dazed trance at least. He sat up a bit straighter to try and focus himself better. On the words this time and not just the voice saying them.

ーーーー

Maybe they would have to start cutting these reading sessions into shorter, more manageable snippets. Not because Tegiri got tired of listening, no, not at all. But he really was having a hard time keeping his attention on the content and words. Was he truly so hopeless that the sound of his matesprit's voice managed to entrance him more than the story that, had it been anyone else reading, would have him listening with far more than keen interest?

But he didn't want to seem unappreciative and tell Eridan to stop. He was at a bit of an impasse yet again. His determination to avoid saying or doing anything that might make Eridan feel as though he didn't love the kindness he was being given put him in a position where he didn't know what to do.

Tegiri liked to think he was generally level headed and not at all prone to impulse. Yet another lie he told himself. So in this second burst of panic, not wanting to lose any more of the story and being too cowardly to just tell him they should take a break, he distracted him in the quickest way he knew how. Sure he was still learning how to initiate and engage in physical affection, but that didn't mean he didn't have the desire to do so. And using it as a panic-induced interruption was apparently the way it manifested.

Pressing his lips against the soft, thin skin of the other's earfin was more pleasant than he expected. And the reaction was immediate. The reading stopped mid-word and Eridan seemed to jerk back at the sudden affection. Tegiri had a moment of fear that he had done something wrong, but the flush of violet in Eridan's cheeks and the cute way his earfin fluttered before he pressed a hand over it made the worry disappear.

"...What are you doing?!"

"Well, you see, I… Wanted to?" There was a hesitation in his tone which earned him a skeptical frown and a scoff.

"Were you too distracted to pay attention or somefin." Now it was Tegiri's turn to flush, his cheeks burning teal as he cleared his throat in the embarrassment of being caught.

"That… May have been the case. Sorry, I just found myself taken by your voice and my attention was far too much on that to really…. Take in what you were saying."

He had already gotten called out, how much more embarrassing could the truth be? His voice did trail off as he spoke, though, hints of sudden uncertainty creeping in at the edges.

"Are you serious?" It was more incredulity than annoyance in the violetblood's tone and Tegiri hoped that meant he wasn't upset. "You mean to tell me that you're too busy listenin' to my voice to pay attention to this series you've gushed about?"

"Well, when you put it like that…" It was just as embarrassing being worded that way as the thoughts he'd had about it himself. "...Yes, that is exactly what I am saying."

A pause. "We're just gonna have to reread it all again later then." With the book closed, it was safe to say they were done reading for the night. Tegiri still felt a bit bad, but it didn't seem as though Eridan felt any resentment for being, essentially, ignored.

"Alright… Sorry." Tegiri hung his head a bit, eyes turned away, a bit embarrassed and slightly ashamed. At least until he felt something gently grip his chin. His eyes darted to Eridan.

"We've been interrupted already, might as well go with it. I'll give you a reason to be distracted." The accompanying smile said all he needed to know as the space between their lips vanished.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #hiveswap #tegiri kalbur #my art #my writing #I haven't written fic in a very long time #erigiri

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skeletorific · 5 years ago

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(Sorry if it’s already been asked)what’s your interpretation/view of the quadrants? What in your mind makes an healthy and unhealthy quadrantship?

*distant drumbeat* I’ve been WAITING for this one! Turn it up!!!!

So, a few general notes about quadrants before getting into a breakdown. First, I don’t think there’s a hard and fast definition of what makes, say, a healthy kismessitude, any more than there’s a hard and fast definition of a healthy human relationship. What would be toxic and terrible for one couple may be exactly what keeps a different relationship together. Meowrails is very different from pale Vrisrezi, because Equius and Nepeta are different people with different wants and needs in a relationship than Vriska and Terezi. As with all bonds, it’s important to look at a broader trend of behavior and the individual mental health levels before you can say “this is unhealthy”. I DO think there are certain things to watch out for, but ultimately I probably have ships in that quadrant that may violate one or more of those “no-nos” just because of how those characters bounce off each other.

Second, I think there’s more fluidity in quadrants than the fandom typically allows for, because human relationships are also by their nature fluid. We’ve all seen a set of best friends who act like a couple even if they aren’t romantically interested, and we’ve seen couples who bicker and squabble despite being deeply in love. How you choose to identify your relationship is ultimately nobody’s business but your own, even if red love for you looks like pale love to someone else. Alternian troll culture is romance obsessed and this can lend itself to an obsession with defining the attraction, but this doesn’t mean that’s necessarily how it HAS to be.

Finally, I’ll be listing ALL confirmed canon examples of each quadrant to provide a context for what I’m referencing. This should not be taken as necessary endorsement for any of these ships, or even that I think they were a “good example”, simply that how they chose to identify influenced my own definition of these quadrants. I will also be leaving out a lot of ships that would seem to fit a particular quadrant (noteably Rosemary and Arasol) because their own status is complicated in-text (Rose explicitly refers to wanting to be in all of Kanaya’s quadrants and their relationship has tended explicitly pitch at points, Sollux is referred to as Aradia’s “boyfriend” and yet there is apparently no issue between either of them when his flush quadrant becomes occupied)

With that, let’s dig in

Matespritship:

Successful/Actually Date(d) Examples: Dad/Mom, Latula/Mituna, Meulin/Kurloz, Aranea/Porrim, Mindfang/Summoner, Meenah/Vriska, Sollux/Feferi, Konyyl/Azdaja (currently vacillating), Stelsa/Tyzias

Crushes (unrequited, vacillating, or thwarted): Eridan/Feferi, Kanaya/Vriska, Nepeta/Karkat, Equius/Aradia, Tavros/Jade, Gamzee/Tavros, Sollux/Gamzee, Jack/PM, Lynera/Bronya

What it means to me: Matespritship tends to be an opt-out quadrant for a lot of people, I think. Most seem to stop reading at “closely analogous to human conceptions of romance” and turn off their brains. However, as with all things troll culture, I think there’s more to it the deeper you go, especially considering the fact that your moirail is expected to do a LOT of what we would consider standard s/o stuff: caretaking, comfort, intimate knowledge, closeness. I absolutely refuse to buy that the only thing distinguishing the two is that matesprits have sex, especially since that stumble into some VERY UNCOMFORTABLE territory in regards to troll asexuality. So then, if it’s not that, then what is it?

Ultimately I keep coming back to the idea of passion. Your matesprit I think is the person who you genuinely see in the best possible light. Unusual for Alternian society, you’re unable to ignore the depths of your admiration of them, or to let their flaws filter into your perception. Moiraillegiance is about total honesty and unflinching recognition, but matespritship to me is about that kind of fairy tale passion. Its a person who, even if you know on an intellectual level they are not perfect, that you genuinely have a harder time seeing the darker side of because you are so consumed by this passion for what you see in them, your unfiltered awe and appreciation for who they are.

Additionally, I see matespritship as on some level inherently possessive. You not only admire that person, but you fundamentally crave their attention in a way that is probably a bit on the selfish side. Its not enough to want good for them, it has to be good alongside you. This is typically where it’s more prone to flipping caliginous.

Warning signs: Matespritships seemed to vacillate pitch FREQUENTLY on Alternia. This is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. As Karkat says, it’s often a matter of communication and timing. However, it does have the potential to explode in everyone’s face if not carefully managed, in no small part due to the passionate emotions involved. Some things that tend to go bad fast:

-Admiration is key to an effective matespritship, but pedestalling your flushed partner too much can be dangerous. Once the flaws do become apparent (as they will in any relationship) they can become increasingly hard to ignore, and that can be SHATTERING if you don’t prepare.

-Especially on Alternia, matesprits are the quadrant I see as most likely to neglect the communication aspect of their relationship. Safety isn’t a factor for them like it is for more caliginous quadrants, and the expectation is usually that feelings jams are for moirails. Especially for younger trolls, there’s an idea that we’re in love and thus should just know what the other person needs/wants. If you don’t pick up on it, then maybe we aren’t meant to be. This is a trap. ALL relationships need communication in order to function on a day to day basis. Opening up to your matesprit about something that’s bothering you isn’t a sign of fading passion, but of maturity and your own changing needs.

-Despite a fondness for fate pairings I think matespritships are usually expected to fade out, in no small part because they’re founded on a level of passion that can be hard to keep up long-term. This is actually fine. Not all relationships are meant to last eternally. However, if you know your matesprit is a person you want in your life long-term, part of that is learning how to cope with periods of low passion. Its normal to not always feel an all-consuming desire to keep your matesprit in arms reach. It’s normal to need space. What’s important is that YOU know that you still love them, and that they have the confidence to know that’s true even when you can’t always express it.

Moirallegiance

Successful/Actually Date(d) Examples: Kanaya/Vriska, Eridan/Feferi, Gamzee/Karkat, Nepeta/Equius, Kurloz/Mituna, Meulin/Horuss, Terezi/Vriska, Kuprum/Folykl, MSPAR/Polypa, Xefros/Dammek

Crushes (unrequited, vacillating, or thwarted): Eridan/Karkat, MSPAR/Chixie, MSPAR/Stelsa, Tegiri/Polypa

What it means to me: To start out with, I haaaaaaaate hate hate the perception that moirails are just BFFs. To me, there’s too much evidence to suggest otherwise, not the least of which being that after Feferi ends their moirallegiance she tells Eridan she still wants to be friends with him. How many of you break up with your best friend and then tell them you can still be friends after?

To me, moirallegiance on Alternia is as much a coping mechanism at it is a romantic entanglement. In a society where there’s no such thing as therapy, your moirail ideally functions as a release valve for you, to help you exercise softer feelings in a safe, sanctioned environment. Two things are key in that dynamic: honesty, and selflessness.

There’s no pretense in a moirallegiance, but an unflinching embrace. The successful moirails we’ve seen (Meowrails, KupFol, arguably GamKar) have always been rooted in banter that may come off as pitch at first glance. This is partly due to general Alternian socialization practice, but I think it also stems from the fact that pale love is founded in knowing every inch of your partner. You know what they are, body and soul, the flaws and the highlights, and while you do not uncritically accept it like a matesprit might, some part of you fundamentally identifies with. Your moirail is that person who you feel like you’ve known for years after talking for a few hours, because something about how they’re wired clicks with you in a way most don’t. As such, there’s less need for posturing. A feelings jam is one of the few places on Alternia where you are allowed to admit to vulnerability, to fear, to frustration, because you know that the other person will have your back unquestioningly without letting you get away with bullshit.

This mutual support stems from the other half of pale love: the desire to see the other person flourish, no matter what. If the matesprit wants you to be happy at their side, the moirail wants you to flourish even if they do not stand to benefit. You experience your moirail’s success like it was your own, and want as good for them or better than you want for yourself.

Some warning signs:

-Burnout. We see this in most clearly in Eridan and Feferi’s case (and a bit in Gamzee and Karkat’s case), but its a genuine risk in moirallegiance. The caretaking HAS to go both ways or the relationship is doomed to fail. More often than not, burnout indicates a failure within the relationship. Your moirail has not been caring for you to the degree you need, and quite possibly you have not been communicating HOW you would like that behavior to change. As I said, honesty is essential, and things ideally should never reach the point of burnout because you are in constant complete openness with your moirail about how you need taking care of.

-Fucked expectations. Romance is a dominating subject on Alternia, for obvious reasons, and one of the biggest hits a moirallegiance can take is a person questioning too far into pale desire until they mistake it for something else. The two are very close, but they are not exactly the same thing and often times the relationship can be sunk by one person getting in their head about that intimacy until they try to make it something it isn’t. Moiraillegiance is not a stepping stone for matesprit or kismesis, and most importantly it is not a consolation prize quadrant. You should never “settle” for moirail, or pale date someone who will accept you as a moirail only if they can’t get you as anything else. You need to want a moirail for a moirails sake, or its just a crush with extra levels of fuckery and expected free therapy.

Kismessitude

Successful/Actually Date(d) Examples: Spades Slick/Sn0wman, Jack Noir/Black Queen, Eridan/Vriska (now broken up), Karkat/Karkat, Mindfang/Dualscar, Terezi/Gamzee, Tagora/Galekh, Bronya/Elwurd.

Crushes (unrequited, thwarted, vacillating): Eridan/Rose, Vriska/Tavros, Karkat/John, Gamzee/Dave, Sollux/Gamzee, Eridan/Sollux, PM/Bec Noir, Terezi/Vriska, John/Terezi, Konyyl/Skylla, Daraya/Lynera

What it means to me:

I want to structure this as a dismantling of two very common misconceptions I see for this quadrant. One, kismesis is NOT the inherent abuse quadrant. This I believe is working with a faulty definition of what abuse is. Abuse is not simply being mean or engaging in a physical manner with somebody. As has become something of a mantra for this essay, its about expectations. Abuse requires someone to be taking advantage, exploiting a particular vulnerability (or creating it if none inherently exists). What makes a relationship abusive is a situation where someone you SHOULD be able to trust or care for uses those expectations to hurt you, either for personal gain or simply to make themselves feel better. A kismesis is not that, because a healthy kismesis goes in with the expectation of rivalry. For some kismeses, this looks like basic sniping, insults, and jabs. For others, it looks like actual fighting. In either case, its the difference between a boxing match and assault. As long as the rules are being respected, both parties are consented, and someone is checking in to ensure that no one is hurting themselves (sometimes your partner, sometimes your moirail, sometimes your auspitice), then there is nothing inherently wrong with having a circumstance in which you are allowed to work through some nastier feelings without fear of consequence or hurting someone who can’t take it.

The second misconception: kismesis is not just a relationship with some bitchier dialogue. As we’ve seen, being a little bit rude is not restricted to pitch feelings. We have many examples of it in relationships that would be considered unequivocally red or pale on Alternia (KupFol, MeenVris). I go back to the Karkat dialogue constantly. Your kismesis is not just a person you make fun of, but something closer to your true rival (in the shonen anime sense). Its a person who you see so much good (or potential for good in), but who is brought down by some kind of fatal flaw that just grates at you. And so, you fixate on the idea of pushing them out of that flaw, through whatever means necessary.

Its from this fatal flaw that I believe the benefits of kismesis come out. Your kismesis, like your matesprit, has intense passion for you, but doesn’t idealize you. In fact, at points your kismesis may be incredibly aware of the WORST possible version of you. What distinguishes it from platonic hate, though, is the fact that you at your worst doesn’t make them flinch. It makes them want to provoke you, to see how you can change. Kismeses sharpen each other, which is something that rarely feels good but is so often necessary. You should never let your kismesis sit back too far on their laurels, because it is your job to be consciously aware of their faults and call them out on it.

Additionally, while the hatefucking aspect is often overestimated, I think its not surprising that passion in these kinds of relationships tend to get intense, which is part of why it so often requires some kind of ashen intervention. Once harnessed, though, that passion can be turned to powerful ends for both yourselves and the world around you.

Some things to watch out for (unsurprisingly there’s a LOT for this one but I’ve distilled it into two broad ones because this thing will be long enough):

Power imbalance: As I said, kismesis is not inherently abusive. However, it DECIDEDLY has the potential to become so, in particular in a society like Alternia where the power strafes are often so significant. This is particularly the case in pitch relationships involving a highblood and a lowblood, especially when the highblood is “steering the ship”. Vriska/Tavros is a good example. If summarized, her feelings for Tavros pre-Sgrub are very straightforward and healthy pitch ones. She admires his potential and envies his kinder relationships while despising his indecisiveness. All fine enough groundwork. However, three factors collaborate to make it a hot disaster: Tavros’s disinterest in her (meaning the pitch advances are unwelcome and in some real sense nonconsensual), Vriska’s own lack of restraint (meaning she takes things too far even for a kismesis), and the inherent caste imbalance (meaning Tavros has no meaningful way of fighting back and nothing in Vriska’s rearing has taught her to care if a lowblood gets hurt by her actions). This isn’t to say a highblood-lowblood (or any humanly imbalanced relationship) can NEVER work, but it requires both parties to put the work in to even the playing field. The highblood needs to actively show restraint, both physically and situationally. This is also where an auspitice generally comes in handy, ensuring things never get to a point where the action becomes one-sided.

Misdirected Rage: As I said, kismessitude is a Space, much like moiraillegiance, that gives you the opportunity to work through some less-than-palatable emotions. Using a pitch date as a way to burn off stress is not inherently invalid; in fact, its often expected and as long as your partner is willing can be one of the better ways to cope with something without having to address it directly. However, this CANNOT be built into the foundation of the relationship. Your kismesis is not a punching bag, but their own person, and the focus always needs to eventually return to that. You cannot effectively sharpen someone else if your anger is never about them, and it is ultimately unfair to constantly ask someone else to consistently bear the brunt of your bad days. This is (debatably) where pitch Gamrezi went wrong. Ultimately that kismesis was never really about each other, but about both of them projecting their self-loathing onto the other person when they were both at incredibly low place, thus making their anger unproductive and meaningless for both of them. As such, any kind of empathy was impossible and they were not able to self-regulate.

Auspiticism

Succesful/Actually Date(d): Vriska/Kanaya/Tavros, Karkat/Jade/Karkat, Spades Slick/Doc Scratch/Sn0wman, Liv Tyler/Courtyard Droll/Wizardly Vassal, PM/Jade/Bec Noir, Kanaya/Vriska/Rose

Crushes (unrequited, thwarted, vacillating): Vriska/Kanaya/Eridan, Gamzee/Rose/Terezi (look I know this one is practically canon but Rose kind of implies she never really used those auspiticism lessons), Rose/Kanaya/Horrorterrors, Eridan/Feferi/Sollux, Gamzee/Kanaya/Karkat, Dave/Kanaya/Karkat, Konyyl/MSPA Reader/Azdaja.

What it means to me: Ahh the bastard child of quadrants. I’ve got a lot of unpopular opinions on auspiticism (most notably that Kanaya isn’t actually that good at it), but let’s start with defining some things. I believe there are two kinds of auspitices.

One is the “breakup” auspitice. This is the version described in the infamous romance pages of Homestuck. This version is meant to prevent a black romance from breaking out where one shouldn’t occur, either because one or both parties already has a kismesis or because there is some other mitigating factor that means neither can afford to get bogged down in this crush. A breakup auspitice should ideally be a figure that both parties trust, even in the midst of heated feelings. They should also have the strength of will to continually interfere, and a clear enough head to cut to the root of the issue. Its a thankless task, often, but a very vital one, and most importantly, short-lived. This auspitice’s job only lasts as long as the feelings last. Once both parties have had the chance to cool down (or the circumstances creating the rivalry are at an end), their job is considered over.

The other kind is the version that we arguably see more of in canon, what I call the Third Leaf. This is less an intercessary party and more the third member of a particularly tempestuous kismesis, who will act to ensure the other two leaves don’t cause serious harm to themselves or each other. This relationship is far more long-term, and thus has more requirements. To me, your auspitice is someone who has pale potential with both you AND your kismesis. They know and care about you both on a very deep level, to the point that they are willing to put themselves in the middle of your bullshit very consistently. This means that you trust them enough to call it quits even in the heat of your anger, and you also believe what they tell you about your own pitch partner when their actions need greater contextualization to keep things on the level. This task is often equally challenging, but (hopefully) not as thankless or as pragmatic.

I’ve previously referred to the auspitice as a personified safeword, and I believe that’s very emblematic of the Third Leaf. Even healthy kismeses may reach a point where one needs a day off, or something hits in the wrong way. In a rivalry, though, admitting that isn’t necessarily easy, as its both breaking kayfabe and has the potential to read as more weakness that needs to be excised (”it hurts because its working”). The auspitice is privileged to go between and be believed every time. If your auspitice says its a no go then you better have a pretty damn good reason to ignore them. For some kismeses, overriding the auspitice is grounds to break up once and for all.

Some warning signs:

Burnout: As is the case with the previously discussed concilliatory quadrant, caretaking can be exhausting. This is especially the case in auspiticism, where the care is often expected to be very one sided, and usually involves dealing with a lot of vitriol, anger, and even physical violence. Obviously its more prevalent in Third Leaf dynamics, but even breakup auspitices can reach a breaking point if they’re not careful. Its important as the ashenmate to understand your own limits. For better or for worse, the focus will not be on you. If you are reaching a low point, then you need to be vocal about this with your other two leaves, or disaster is almost inevitable. The trade-off for this is that (according to my headcanons at least), your ashenmates are expected to drop everything to care for you if you need it. The kismesis will not be safe to proceed until you are back in fighting shape, and as such a truce is declared until they have both done “aftercare” of a sort for you. What this looks like is different for every auspiticism. For some, its alone time. For others, its blanket burritos, movies, and forehead kisses. No matter what, though its IMPERATIVE that you find a method that works for you, because the relationship crumbles without self-care.

Doormatting: As I said, auspiticism is a concilliatory quadrant. As such, there can be a tendency to over-forgive or overwork, especially if your other two leaves have stronger personalities. In particular, ausptices who are closer with one leaf over the other need to be vigilant for favoritism or bowing down. It is your job to contextualize the actions of your ashenmates. It is not your job to do apologetics for them or atone for their actions. Hold them all accountable. They need to be putting in at least as much work as you do to make their relationship work and not just offset the emotional repair to you.

Controlling: The inverse of this is the power-tripping auspitice. This seems unlikely, but its more of a threat than one might think, in my view. Because of the trust auspitices command by virtue of their position and their relationship with the other two leaves, their word is in some sense law. This can be addictive to some people, and lead to an abuse of power that can be just as toxic as in any other quadrant. It can look like scolding your ashenmates far too much, placing yourself at the center of their issues, or even punishing them for annoying you when what they’re doing is perfectly acceptable within the context of a kismessitude. As I said, self-care is important for an auspitice, but selflessness needs to be at the core of concilliatory dynamics. You are here because you genuinely want good for the people you are mediating for. If the relationship has become all about you, then something has gone horribly wrong. Avoid the urge to power trip just because the role is sometimes a Lot.

#Anonymous #homestuck #quadrants #matesprit #matespritship #kismesis #kismessitude #moirail #moiraillegiance #auspiticism #auspitice #headcanon #long post

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rabble-dabble · 4 years ago

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The Cancer King's Court ~ The Holy Prince

Eridan Ampora/The Holy Prince

This Eridan is, in fact, the Eridan from our timeline.

After his death at the hands of Kanaya, Eridan mopes around the dreambubbles in a self loathing haze. Without Feferi or Karkat around to try and keep him afloat, Eridan is left to wallow in his own pathetic self pity. He takes every excuse to dive deeper into his own self loathing. Alternate versions of himself who have it better than him just go to show what a fuck-up he is, and those that don’t just reinforce his image of how miserable his life is.

He eventually runs into the Cancer King, who is absolutely pissed to see him. Karkat verbally tears Eridan to shreads, lambasting him for continually burying himself in his own self pity.

“you’re right, kar. god, you’re alwways right. i really am just a-”

“DON’T YOU FINISH THAT FUCKING SENTENCE, ERIDAN AMPORA. WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY, YES, THAT IS IN FACT, WHAT YOU ARE. AN ASSHOLE, A DOUCH CANOE, A RAGING BIGOTED VOLCANO OF BULLSHIT. THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU CAN’T BE ASSED TO BE ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT.”

“I’M WILLING TO BET THAT YOU’VE SPENT YOUR ENTIRE AFTERLIFE WALLOWING IN SELF LOATHING, HAVEN’T YOU? IT’S ALL YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE. IF YOU CAN’T MAKE YOURSELF SOMEONE ELSE’S PROBLEM, THEN YOU’LL JUST SINK INTO A HOLE UNTIL YOU CAN THROW YOUR PROBLEMS ON SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOULDERS. YOU’RE A PARASITE. YOU FED OFF FEFERI, YOU FED OFF ME, AND NOW YOU’RE STARVING BECAUSE NO ONE’S LEFT TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT.”

“YOU COULD’VE MADE AN EFFORT, EVEN A SINGLE ATTEMPT, TO FIX YOURSELF UP AT ANY TIME YOU WANTED. I’VE MET PEOPLE WHO WERE ASSBAGS, WHO WERE JUST AS BIG OF SHIT STAINS AS YOU WERE AT ONE POINT, WHO HAVE BECOME BETTER PEOPLE. I’VE MET A VERSION OF VRISKA WHO TRIED TO CLEAN UP HER LIFE. FUCKING. VRISKA.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT, ERIDAN. YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PERSON. YOU’VE NEVER EVEN TRIED TO BE ANYTHING ELSE.”

Eridan stares silently. Karkat sighs and leaves.

Eridan wanders the Dreambubbles some more, Karkat’s lines repeating in his head. At first, it’s just another ember in his smouldering fire of self-loathing, but he can’t keep himself from chewing on it a bit more. Eridan’s conflicted thoughts come to a head when he meets himself from the New Timeline.

The Eridan from this timeline sold out his friends to The Condescension. He’s the reason she rose to power. And everything she’s done is on his shoulders.

When Eridan confronts his alternate self, he starts spewing all the same excuses that Eridan himself has used before. He didn’t have a choice, it’s his duty as royal blood, what did you expect him to do? When pressed, his alternate self admits to regretting what he did.

So, Eridan asks why he hasn’t tried to fix it yet? He’s a Grand Admiral in the Condescension’s navy. He has plenty of resources. He could easily fund the rebellion, work as a spy, plot some assassinations. He could try to fix this. Alternate Eridan refuses.

He’s always been the bad guy. Why pretend he could be anything else?

Eridan leaves in disgust. Karkat’s words finally sink in.

Even when given every reason in the world to change, Eridan couldn’t be bothered. Well, that ends today.

So, Eridan sets out to make amends. He visits the dreams of players still doing their sessions and gives them advice. He gives them hope, listens to their problems, helps them reach God-Tier and guides them away from the mistakes he made. He isn’t very good at it. Not initially. He finds himself listening to them as much as they listen to him. But, still, he grows. And, in doing so, he saves several sessions from the brink of disaster.

Eventually, Eridan meets Feferi. His Feferi.

The two awkwardly catch up, dancing around the obvious. They compare notes on the Dreambubbles and Eridan explains what he’s been up too.

Eridan bursts the bubble first. He asks her if she can forgive him.

…Feferi looks forlorn, devistated even, as she confesses that she doesn’t think she can.

Eridan quietly accepts this as he leaves.

He’s moping to himself in a memory of his old hive when the Pirate Queen knocks on his door. She comforts him and they try to make light of what terrible people they were. Again, they dance around the issue a bit, even humoring a bit of roleplay for old times sake, before they finally talk about the main issue.

Eridan laments how much it hurts to not be forgiven. Vriska can relate, but only to an extent. “I can live with Tavros not forgiving me, 8ut I don’t know where I’d 8e without Terezi. That sounds a 8it closer to what you’re going through.”

Vriska offers that, sense he’s making amends, maybe he could join the King’s Court.

Eridan turns her down. He wants to make amends on his own terms first.

So, Eridan gathers all the Players he’s helped and unties them against his alternate self. Playing on the flaws he knows his alternate self has, Eridan orchestrates his downfall, proving to himself that he’s outgrown the pathetic leech he once was. Eridan sees his new friends off with pride, inspiring them to join the Rebellion and fight fir the freedom of the Multiverse.

With that done, Eridan tracks down the Cancer King.

“i'vve wwon back my honor. noww i wwant to wwin back my friend.”

Eridan is the King’s commander in chief against the forces of Her Imperious Condescension. He intends to undo the damage done by his alternate self and win back Karkat’s friendship in one foul swoop. Like Vriska, his opponents tend to underestimate him. They expect the same arrogant manchild he used to be, which he uses to catch them off guard. In fact, his effectiveness was so great, that it took Karkat awhile to realize that he wasn’t God-Tier and was, in fact, still dead. Karkat rectified the issue soon after, but it’s a testament to how far he’s come.

Eridan spends most of his time with Vriska. The two of them forming something of a support group about being “the reformed bad guys” of the group. It never quite reaches the outright moirail levels that she has with Terezi though.

Gamzee holds him in considerably high regard for doing such a 180. It’s the reason he gave him and Vriska such lofty titles. Rose speculates if that has something to do with Gamzee’s unwillingness to face his own issues, but that’s for another day.

Like Aradia, Eridan never forgets the weight of what they’re doing. In fact, he refuses to associate with the ‘sacrifice’ side of the Court’s buisness. He understands the necessity of it, but he’s a reformed man. He can’t bring himself to sink back down there.

For a similar reason, he tries to let anyone know that he's The Holy Prince. He can’t stand to think about what the Players might say if they knew what their mentor was a part of.

Still, Eridan makes a point of befriending those he dismissed. He shares hunting stories with the Purrdator, he relates to the Bard’s loneliness. He even buries the hatchet with Sollux.

Eridan trusts in Terezi to keep Karkat on the straight and narrow, but he still worries about him. Eridan knows exactly what it’s like to bury yourself in your flaws. Luckily, he tends to inspire Karkat to be more merciful just by his example. The King even took the time to learn some of Eridan’s favorite board games.

In the end, The Holy Prince is a loyal man who holds himself to a high moral standard. A competent commander and a friend to all his students. Eridan Ampora is someone Karkat is proud to call his friend.

god I love that you just submitted this because I SCREAMED when I saw it.

also????? eridan being a source of advice for KARKAT????? YES PLEASE

anyways you said figure and I went OF ANGELS??? because hell yeah I'm gonna incorporate more aspect stuff. also eridan being a voice of reason is concerning and funny at the same time. i respect that you had vriska relate to him but even then like she has terezi which is SUCH a valid point!!!! eridan has to get there for a LONNNNNNNGGGG while but I'm actually glad that he’s working towards being better seeing he always had that potential but never took it.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #the holy prince #karkat vantas #sollux captor #aradia medigo #vriska serket #feferi peixes #the red death #the pirate queen #cancer king karkat #au #doodleart #submission #anon #evil john anon #jjhfjrjrhjrbrbrnjrrm

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felismiscellaneous · 4 years ago

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Casonverse Expo

ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that

ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.

now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.

anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.

john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.

but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.

ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.

LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))

Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.

but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.

and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.

every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.

Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.

this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?

theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:

owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him

siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty

damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth

killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue

toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin

wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects

carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s

rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom

ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy

notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death

notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death

#casonverse #long post #very long post #homestuck #tw abuse #tw eye trauma

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spidersfanfics · 4 years ago

Text

Let’s Make the Most of the Night

Eridan x Karkat | Valentine’s Day | Angst

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm a monster so I wrote some angst :D Eridan goes on a date with Karkat for their anniversary. That's all :)

"Happy anniversary, Kar." Eridan said softly, handing over a bouquet of red roses. "I got you some flowers. And before you ask, no it's not a jab at your blood color. They're red for flushed feelings," he chuckled.

The sun shined down brightly as birds overhead chirped cheerfully. Eridan's stomach growled and he laughed sheepishly, "Let's eat why don't we?" He reached over and grabbed the picnic basket that had been prepared for the occasion.

Eager to get started, Eridan dug into the basket, pulling out sandwiches, salad and a bottle of wine. "Yes, wine," Eridan said with a playful smile, "I know sandwiches aren't exactly gourmet but it's a special occasion. Alright? We go over this every year."

A pause.

"And every year I win, don't I Kar." Eridan laughed as he poured out the wine. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

As he dug into his food and sipped on his drink, he began to fall deep into thought. A look of reminiscing painted across his face as he relaxed.

"Do you remember our first date?" He asked, breaking the silence that had briefly fallen. He smirked and shook his head, "No come on, let me tell it. I know I do this every time but that's only because it's cute every time."

He set down his wine glass and leaned back. His eyes grew distant as he cast his mind back. "Alright, let's see."

~ ~ ~

It was nearing the end of winter. No, not quite spring yet. That first date didn't count for the anniversary day, they'd agreed on that ages ago.

Eridan was handling the cold just fine as a seadweller, but Karkat's mutant blooded self always found the season miserable.

"GOG IM FREEZING MY FUCKING GLOBES OFF OUT HERE", Karkat texted Eridan. He'd just gotten off of work that day and was waiting for the bus to take him home.

Eridan texted back a moment later, "Wwe could go get some coffee together if you'd like. Might help to wwarm you up."

Karkat hesitated only a second before agreeing, "FUCK IT, WHY NOT. YOU KNOW WHERE I AM."

"Great, I'll pick you up in a minute. Don't freeze to death wwaiting for me."

"HA HA VERY FUNNY. JUST HURRY UP."

True to his word, Eridan was there not long after and the two of them drove over to a nearby coffee shop. They ordered their drinks and were just about to pay when Eridan stopped Karkat.

"Wait, let me pay for the both of us."

Karkat raised an eyebrow at him but let it slide and the pair brought their drinks to an empty table, tucked away in a quiet corner. Karkat took a slow sip of the drink and winced at the sudden temperature change.

After a long moment, he spoke up. "So, tell me Ampora. Is this a date?"

Eridan nearly choked on his drink. His face flushed a violent violet and he spluttered, "I mean. I was kind of hoping, that is I was going to ask at the end if. Well, do you want it to be one?"

Karkat stared forward evenly for a long while before rolling his eyes, "Yeah whatever. Why ruin a good thing right? This is our first date."

"Ah," Eridan said weakly, still coughing slightly. "Lovely," He gave Karkat a wary smile. When Karkat returned it without a trace of mockery, his fins fluttered excitedly and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

Soon, they had both finished their drinks, as well as the slices of cake Eridan had insisted on buying for the two of them. "Well, I'd better head home for real now." Karkat said, gathering up their trash and sweeping it into a nearby garbage can.

"Yeah, do you need me to drive you?"

He shook his head and glanced at his watch, "There's a bus coming soon. I'll be fine." He paused then pulled Eridan into a hug, "Thanks for the food and drinks, Ampora. This was fun. Maybe we should do this again sometime."

When he pulled away, Eridan was blushing once more. "Yeah, we should," he agreed with a chuckle. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and twirled them around his finger, "I'll see you around. Text me when you get home?"

"Sure," Karkat laughed and the two parted ways.

~ ~ ~

Eridan finished his reminiscing and his sandwiches at around the same time and he smiled lovingly. "The first of many lovely dates to come," he said.

He reached back towards the picnic basket and opened it up again. After some quick rummaging, he pulled out a couple of cupcakes. "They didn't have cake slices when I went this time but these are from that same coffee shop." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Is that too cheesy? I thought it would be a nice surprise."

He unwrapped one and took a bite before thinking once more of another story to tell. "Oh, well of course if we're going to talk about our past, we should talk about the day you asked me out." He laughed, "Still can't believe you beat me to it. That's why I insisted on being the one to propose you know. Oh but that's a whole other story."

As if fearing the silence, Eridan launched into yet another story.

~ ~ ~

"AMPORA, WE'RE STILL ON FOR OUR DATE TODAY RIGHT?"

Eridan smiled at yet another text from a familiar number. "Of course wwe are," he texted back, "Same thing I told you the last thousand times you asked. In fact, I'm gettin' ready right noww. Evverythin alright?"

It didn't take long for the response, "YEAH YEAH EVERYTHINGS FINE. JUST MAKING SURE. ILL BE THERE SOON, DONT KEEP ME WAITING FISHDICK."

"As if I evver do," Eridan shot back with a laugh as he fixed his hair, "You wwound me." Despite his words, he still smiled warmly at his phone. They'd been going on regular dates for some time now and he'd already decided he'd ask Karkat to be his matesprite properly soon. He couldn't wait.

A few minutes later, the ringing of the doorbell alerted him to Karkat's arrival. He ran eagerly to the door and opened it with a wide smile. "How's that for quick, Kar," he teased.

Karkat scoffed but still handed Eridan white rose, "Here, gift for you."

"Charming," Eridan laughed as he slipped it into a vase he kept by the door for this very reason. "Now let's get going. We don't want to be late for our reservation."

The two drove over to a fancy restaurant where Eridan had booked a table for them to enjoy. And after a delicious dinner, they decided to go for a stroll through a nearby park.

As the night drew to a close, Karkat stopped Eridan before they could start heading back to his car. "Hey Ampora," he said, taking both of Eridan's hands.

"What's up Kar? You've gone all stiff."

Karkat cleared his throat awkwardly. "I've got something important to tell you," he said, "So shut the fuck up and don't ruin it."

Eridan raised an eyebrow but stayed silent as he was told and nodded at Karkat to continue.

"We've been going on these dates for some time now," Karkat said, speaking quickly as if to stop himself from chickening out. "And I was wondering if you'd want to be my matesprite. Properly and officially."

"You're kidding," Eridan said his jaw dropping. He scrambled to keep talking before Karkat could snap at him for the less than optimal answer. "No wait, yes, yes. I would love to be your matesprite," he laughed, "It's just that I was thinking of asking you out soon and here you are doing it first instead."

Karkat tried for an annoyed look but ended up laughing along anyway, "Yeah well, guess I'm just better than you like that."

~ ~ ~

Eridan sighed, leaning back on his hands. "You should have seen your face when you thought I was about to reject you," he laughed, wiping away a tear. "As if I would ever be that stupid."

He shook his head, "No. Never. And so many good days came out of that one yes, didn't it? God remember moving in together? And our wedding?"

Taking just a second to catch his breath, Eridan started talking again. Telling story, after story, after story. Before long, evening had fallen. The food he'd brought was long gone and in fact it was nearly time for dinner.

"Well," Eridan said softly. He gathered up various wrappers and tupperware to throw back into the basket before standing up with a grunt. "Should probably head home now."

His voice wobbled as he lifted his hand to his mouth and blew a kiss at the grave before him. "I miss you," he said. Tears flowed freely now, trailing violet down his face. "I'm doing alright though," he managed. "Kanaya told me to say hi. Feferi too."

With a heavy sigh, Eridan picked up his things and turned to leave. "Until next year," he said, glancing back one last time.

A pity lowbloods always die so young.

#Eridan Ampora #Karkat Vantas #Erikar #Matesprite #Erikar Red #Eridan x Karkat #Karkat x Eridan #Valentines Day #Angst #I'm sorry lol #Actually no not really #Spider Writes Homestuck

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lockedstuck · 3 years ago

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beyond our fury and our silences

2021, 04/17 - Sollux Captor

You envy the patients on the unit who have a “normal” to return to. You never have, and never will. You’ve had periods of more gentle oscillation, like high school as opposed to the jagged highs and equally disruptive lows of your undergraduate years. However, you haven’t been “normal” in terms of psychopathology since you were a kid.

Dr. Vandayar suggests that perhaps your childhood years did a number on your sanity, though not word for word. He’s way more polite about it. You kind of want to hit him for it.

Your dad did his absolute best to raise you, all seventy hour weeks to afford summer camp for gifted kids and SHSAT prep classes. So did your mother, teaching you math and history, even if she was psychotic, even when her mental landscape frequently shifted like sand on the beach.

Once, when you were maybe ten, she came home an hour late from a quick run to the grocery store five blocks away. She explained, gentle yet adamant, that people had decided to follow her home, and she did not want them to know where she was going. What if they’d decided to rob her? Your dad sighed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She sat at the dining room table later, repeatedly drawing pictures of seashells. When you sat down next to her, and pulled your chair close so that you could see her work, she started to explain the Fibonacci sequence to you. It wasn’t hard to understand adding the sums of the two previous numbers together. She launched into another explanation of the not unrelated golden ratio, and you just sat there and let her go on for a while, even when you didn’t quite understand.

She took out a nautilus shell that she had fashioned into a necklace, showed it to you, and wound up giving it to you. When you asked her why, she smiled and shrugged. You continue to wear it underneath your clothing.

Perhaps you’ll give it to Feferi when she gets discharged, given her love of all things aquatic. At this rate, she’ll probably get out before you do, what with the nine ECT treatments you still have to complete.

Out of nowhere, Roxy walks over to you, and you glance up at her. You know by now that whatever comes out of her mouth will be either offensive, amusing, or both.

“Aradia’s on the phone for you, Lispy! Hey, could you tell her something for me?”

You stand up and stretch, fingertips toward the ceiling. “What is it?”

“Tell her that her voice is really cute, but that she’s way cuter in person,” she replies. “Wait, hold up. Tell me she’s not straight. Is she straight? I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

You don’t know whether or not to answer truthfully. You should probably ask Aradia about that beforehand. You walk over to the pay phone, and put the receiver to your mouth.

“Ray? Is that you?”

“Hey, Sollux,” she says. Then, a pause that stretches into infinity, or ten whole seconds at the very least. “Is it okay if I visit tonight instead of tomorrow? One of my students is actually attending my office hours, which--”

“--overlap with my visiting hours,” you finish. Maybe you should have let her complete her sentence.

You’re tetchy and impatient, the first thing having been induced by your session with Dr. Vandayar, and the second by the fact that next week will mark one whole month since you arrived at this hospital, and what precisely do you have to show for it?

Roxy’s almost completely weaned off methadone and will probably leave next week, to go to inpatient rehab. June is going home the Monday after next. Feferi got here the same day as you and will most certainly be gone the same week as June. Eridan will be gone before you finish out your ECT treatments, since his conclude next week, as will Karkat, Porrim, and probably even Calliope. The only person who may not leave before you is Latula, and although she’s perfectly kind, you don’t know her very well.

You didn’t realize how long you’ve stewed in your thoughts until you hear Aradia ask, “Are you still there?”

“Yeah. You said you wanted to come tonight as opposed to tomorrow. That’s fine.”

“And what about you?” she asks.

You shrug.

“What about me?”

“Are you fine?”

The only person you suck at lying to more than Aradia is your father, and your dad is only leading by a narrow margin. That may be why you signed a HIPPA release so that your treatment team could talk to both of them.

“I had a weird therapy session today. Normally I get along with my therapist, but today I almost wanted to punch him in the face.”

Aradia asks if you’d like to talk about it, and your kneejerk is to say, “hell no”, but during another therapy session a couple of days ago, Dr. Vandayar stressed the importance of not being unwilling to depend on one’s support team. As vaguely annoyed as you still are at him, you did concede the point on Monday afternoon.

“I guess it was because… well… fuck, I don’t know how to explain this without sounding like an asshole. He didn’t actually say anything that wasn’t true, but maybe it was the way he said it? I don’t know. I’m sorry, Ray, I’m rambling all over the fucking place.”

“Don’t worry about it. Go on.”

“He pretty much said that my situation with my parents could have contributed a lot to why I’m all fucked up in the head. Not currently, but like, before, when I was a kid. I was like, where exactly does this guy get off making that kind of judgment? And then I was like, dude, you weren’t there, you didn’t see it, so how do you know? ‘Cause my parents, they did the absolute best they could with what they had. I mean, I didn’t say that to him, but I felt it. And I felt angry at him about it.”

A long silence, one that you feel sink down to the pit of your stomach.

“Well.”

“Well, what?”

“I get that you’re upset, but Sollux, it’s not like this is something you’ve never said to me.”

“But Aradia, that’s different. I was there. So were you, for parts of it. You’ve met my parents a billion times. But aside from a few conversations with you and Baba, Dr. V barely knows anything about my life. For him to say it like that… I don’t like it. I don’t know why, but I don’t.”

“Because it seems like he’s judging people and events he hasn’t had the opportunity to witness first-hand.”

“Yes! Exactly! That’s it!”

It feels like an indictment against your family, and if you are anything to a fault, you are loyal to Mituna and your parents. All of them came together for you, the youngest, the most successful. Even being here, unable to provide for them both emotionally and financially, feels like the worst blow in the world.

You shouldn’t be here getting the memory zapped out of you in some last-ditch effort to quell your mania and depression. You should be outside working, seeing to the needs of someone besides yourself. You should be meeting Aradia at her apartment every other night, helping her clean out her apartment, which quickly devolves into chaos, ashtrays full of spent cigarette butts, and dishes piling up in the sink, as she scrambles to finish up her master’s thesis.

Because if there’s one thing you’ve learned from your father, it is that you are what you contribute, and being here, seemingly unable to contribute anything, might just be the worst sensation in the world.

You’re alone with yourself here, face to face with everything you hate about yourself, with all your aspirations and all your neuroses, and you hate it, you hate it, you hate it, you want out so badly. But what if they don’t let you leave and you end up at your mother’s worst fear - involuntary status? If four weeks of hospitalization seem like hell, what about sixty days, your fate handed down via court order?

What if that knee-jerk desire to 72 hour letter yourself away from thrice weekly therapy sessions is just another trap? What if you leave and try to slit your throat again? What if you actually succeed this time around? Who the fuck is going to take care of your family?

It all comes down to that.

You’d rather like to bang your head against the wall until you either make things clearer or knock yourself out.

“I’ll be there tonight, Sollux,” Aradia says, suddenly. Not for the first time, you wonder if she can read your mind and tell when you’re starting to decompensate more than usual.

Aradia gets there long before six o’ clock. In fact, you notice her tell-tale garnet-colored blazer, as you look through the small rectangular window in the door of the main unit, sometime around 5:20. A woman in a small black dress stands not far away from her, and once you notice her carefully coiffed blonde hair, you walk over to the women’s side of the unit and loudly knock on Roxy’s door.

“And what can I do for you?” she asks, removing the headphone radio that has all but been surgically attached to her head. “Do you have news about Aradia’s sexual orientation?”

You roll your eyes at her, more to keep up appearances than an actual rebuke.

“Your mom’s here,” you reply.

Roxy seems to consider this, then picks up her stuffed cat from her bed and pads into the hallway. Calliope waves at you, the light on their side of the room switched on so they can write. You wave back, then follow Roxy back to the main door of the unit, to resume your little vigil.

You stand without word or gesture, a good six feet away from the door so the night staff doesn’t bitch. They seem to have given up on Roxy, who stands only two feet away from the door and jumps up and down as she waves to her mom. Her mom waves back, though in a more sedate fashion than her child.

You rather like Ms. Lalonde, honestly. It’s hard to dislike a family member who comes so often. According to Roxy, she only misses Mondays for work related reasons. You think the only person who has her beat in terms of visiting is June’s dad, who has yet to miss a day of seeing his daughter, at least during your stay here.

After about ten minutes of furious waving, Roxy starts doing the YMCA with her arms. Her mother actually returns the motions.

Aradia glances at her, cracks up, and giggles helplessly, which makes you smile.

When they finally start letting visitors in, Aradia steps behind Ms. Lalonde without a word. Aradia signs the book after her, and then Mr. Egbert signs after that.

Maybe he smuggled a whole ass lemon meringue pie onto the unit. You’d probably kiss him if he did that, and you’re pretty sure macking on your friend’s hot dad is frowned upon in most situations.

Aradia walks into the unit, and it’s only a moment before you’ve scooped her up into your arms. You’re so skinny that Karkat calls you a walking skeleton comprised of caffeine and spite, and Aradia has more curves than a parametric equation. You still manage to pick her up so her toes momentarily leave the ground, pull her close, and kiss her forehead before you let her go.

She interlaces your fingers with hers.

“What table are we sitting at tonight?” she wants to know, gazing at the sea of round wooden tables in the dining room.

“The one by the window, in the corner,” you decide, after a moment’s thought. The chairs are heavy, so they can’t be thrown across the unit by angry patients you suppose, but you pull out your chair and sit down easily enough. It occurs to you that maybe you should have pulled hers out, but she gets the job done.

You sit right beside her, and before you can think on it, you let her pull you close. Your head on her shoulder, and your arm thrown around her back. It’s not the most comfortable position, but she smells like lilies, cocoa butter, cigarettes, and home.

You bring to mind all the animal skulls on her shelves, all the volumes of dead poets stacked haphazardly around them. Everything has been arranged to display her fixation on things that have shuffled off this mortal coil, for the exception of the flourishing plants on her terrace.

Her arms come up around your shoulders, and she scoots over so the position is more comfortable for your lanky ass. She presses a kiss to your temple, and then to the shell of your ear. You smile in spite of yourself.

It occurs to you that you have not had a self-loathing thought since she arrived.

It’s easier to not hate yourself when someone who would either try to refute or talk you through your issues sits beside you, singing softly.

“Tastes like strawberries on a summer evening. And it sounds just like a song...”

You snort. “I had no idea you were so fond of Harry Styles.”

She stops singing for the moment, but you’ve already started to hum the next part of the song, while she explains where she first heard it.

“My neighbor used to like to sit on her balcony and listen to the radio while I talked to my fig tree. It was on constant replay on Z100. And it’s catchy. So I sang it. A lot.”

You imagine Aradia as she sings, the long dark curls of her hair unpinned the way they usually are when she’s at home, moving along to the music as she waters her plants. It’s a nice mental image, the kind you wouldn’t mind getting lost in.

Here is one way you might safeguard yourself from the impulses and the dorco razor-blades.

You can’t watch Aradia bustle around her apartment if you’re not alive. You can’t help her, or your dad in their gardens - why do so many of your loved ones have an affinity for plants when you can barely keep a cactus alive - if you’re six feet under.

You also cannot remind her of her own neglected tasks - “Aradia, c’mon, you have to wash these dishes, there’s fuckin’ fruit flies here, I hate fruit flies.” - and then watch as she makes a meal with the newly washed dishes just so that she knows you’ve eaten that day.

You think she’d give an approving nod to your thoughts.

“Hey, Sollux,” she says. You glance at her face, the anxiety written across it.

That won’t do. You never liked seeing her worried about anything.

“Yeah, Ray? What’s going on?”

“When you get out of here, after all your treatments are finished, I was wondering…”

“Wondering what?”

She exhales slowly. She takes your hand in hers. You let the warmth suffuse through you.

“Would you like to move in with me? I know you need to be close to your family, but it’s just the F to the 7 train to get to Flushing.”

You consider this. You’ve known Aradia since the sixth grade, and you are now twenty-seven, which adds up to something like sixteen years of friendship. Aradia knows you like nobody else. Not even your father.

She’s handled your weird mood shit and chronic suicidality with more skill than some clinicians you’ve had. In return, you’ve kept her alive - her parents coddled her to a fault, and she had next to no idea how the world outside academia functioned - and helped her through her occasional bouts of clinical depression.

“You’ll take me to Essex Market and get me that bougie vegan cheese?” you ask.

There are more questions, several in fact, that you need answered before you give her a decision, but you’ll start with the inanities and work your way up to the logistics.

“When have I not?” she replies.

You snort.

“How much am I going to pay in rent, for one?”

Aradia seems to consider this for a moment.

“For now, nothing, since you’re not working, and I’m already covering my rent with my job,” she says. “But once you get a job, I’d like you to kick something in. Not too much.”

“Where would I even sleep?”

“The couch in the main room is a pullout. And even If you wanted to sleep in my room, I think I have enough space for another bed.”

You think it over, and some traitorous part of your brain bristles at what is essentially charity from her. Her family - comfortably upper middle class - must be helping her with rent. There is no way in hell that she scored a one bedroom near Bowery on her salary as an adjunct professor. You don’t know what they’d think of letting you live there, or maybe you do, and that’s why you’re hesitant to accept this. They’ve come to actually like you, but you’re not eager to test out how far that goes.

She must sense your hesitation. She once more interlaces her fingers with yours, and lets out a small sigh.

“At least think it over, Sollux.”

“You know I will.”

“I think we function better when we’re in the same place than when we’re not.”

You grin. “You know it.”

The other thing that gives you pause consists of your own confusing feelings about her.

Some days you want to kiss her senseless, peel her out of that red jacket, the black tank top, the long gray skirt. You want to see her, and only her. You want to shed your t-shirt and skinny jeans and have her see you. You want to hold her, press against her, and have her return the gesture. Your longing to be as close to her as humanly possible sweeps over you like a wave, and you have never been known for any particular skill at swimming.

Other days, you just want to sit next to her and make fun of her when she sings Watermelon Sugar. Or like the time she forgot her umbrella at home, a torrential downpour decided to strike and you had to run to the Second Avenue F train station and hope you got there in time to catch her. Still, more recently, the pair of you playing video games and swearing at each other with a giant container of mapo tofu between you. You want the easy rhythm of your close friendship, something familiar, and easy to navigate.

Most of all, you’re afraid. You’re afraid that if you take the plunge and alter the parameters of your relationship, that you’ll lose her entirely if things don’t pan out. And where the hell would you be without her?

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-05-19

Figured an upd8 was coming, it’s felt like enough time has passed for one.

Huh, looking at my last post I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to play through Pesterquest sometime... work is busy and stressing me out a bit, I’m not sure when I’ll have the energy on the side to do that. (Maybe I’ll livetweet it like I did Undertale a while ago, but this time not looking at my twitter replies so I don’t get spoiled by One Guy™?)

Also, including bonus commentary on A Threat Sensed.

Okay, going in completely blind. I’d guessed from context that we’re hopping over to Meat side to get a chapter there before we can come back to actually see Yiffy?

Yep. Okay, what is this about exactly?

(Agh, dammit, I’ve been copying and pasting so much at work remoting into Windows lately that now I’m automatically trying to hit control-C instead of command-C to copy.)

> CHAPTER 9. How Goes The Eulogizing, Dear?

CONTENT NOTE: This chapter contains Child Abuse.

Which one???

Wait

JANE: (Where is he?) JANE: (It's a question I've found myself asking many times in recent days.)

Holy SHIT we get two Candy chapters in a row??? So we might see her right away?? No, it’s gotta just be another tiny glimpse.

(Has two Candy chapters in a row happened before? Future Boots, scroll back up and put this here. FUTURE BOOTS: “I forgot to scroll back up and put that here.” EDIT: Also, not the first time with two in a row, but it IS the first time with THREE in a row, huh.)

So Jane has to be talking about either Tavros or Dave. --Oh, if this was a Candy Side chapter title, I guess Rose or Jade is eulogizing Dave for John?

> (==>)

JANE: (Where now is our merry savior?) JANE: (Where is the horn that was honking?) JANE: (Where is the cape and the codpiece, and the...) JANE: (The...) JANE: (Oh, fiddlesticks.)

What? Is she reading a childrens’ book? --Oh. She’s eulogizing Gamzee. So that gives us a third option, where the rebellion crashes the funeral somehow, probably audiovisually rather than in person. (Which would make sense, given Candy practically began with Gamzee crashing Dirk’s funeral.)

> (==>)

Ah never mind, she’s still writing it.

That sure is a single button drama-remote that’s going to be pressed at some point. Oh, and who the fuck keeps a spork in a pen cup??? --No no, don’t say it’s one of those pens with a spork at the eraser end, either ready-made or rubber-banded to the side. That would make sense. You totally know it isn’t that and is just a spork.

JANE: (Okay, poetry is out.) JANE: (What else?) JANE: (Hrm...) JANE: (I've always been pretty good at crying on cue.) JANE: (Could I try staging an emotional breakdown?) JANE: (That could work; playing to people's humanity.)

Why were you crying in Jake’s arms about his death if you didn’t care that much? Did you just want him to hold you and kinda make him feel in on things again? Or did you just cry yourself out about him?

JANE: (Or whatever is the more inclusive term.)

I bet the rest of Earth C figured out a more inclusive term millenia ago FUCK I accidentally added millennia to my dictionary misspelled instead of correcting it hold on--

...There, killed the entry for it. ...Huh. Take a look at my Chrome dictionary’s custom-added words over the years, apparently:

Caliborn Eridan Kanaya Matriorb Meenah Tavros alchemiter dichotomic nephilim reblogged uncaptchalogues uncaptchaloguing

That’s fun.

Okay back to reading. Millennia. Phew! Where was I.

JANE: (One really good and calculated weep could do it, I think.) JANE: (But then there's the danger that I might get carried away and do it for real.) JANE: (And I can't risk that.)

So still feeling something, just too used to calculating over the past years.

JANE: (What can I say about him that will stir up their emotions?) JANE: (Do I mention the stuff about the milk?) JANE: (Think Crocker, think.)

WHY would you-- how much did Gamzee normalize adult breastfeeding?!

JAKE: Ahoy over there!

Not the best time.

(The thing with the divorce papers from the Epilogue and John implying he was planning with Jake to execute something that sounds like a divorce... is that going to be sprung here? Did her lawyers send the divorce papers way back when she was in a fit of pique, and he just had them available to sign now at the tactical moment? Or... let me pull the exact text...)

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being. JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today.

(So is John going to submit the papers? Or did they already go through a while ago and default custody to John or something who’s going to adopt him too or some nonsense? And did he plan this out with Jake NOW, or a while ago, and if only a while ago, is Jake going to KNOW whatever John’s about to pull in that respect is about to happen??)

> (==>)

Butte

Janepalme

> (==>)

JAKE: Er... how goes the eulogizing, dear?

Gah. I completely forgot again that capitalized-first-letter chapter names don’t mean KANAYA is saying them. That probably makes a lot more sense out of my wondering about the chapter title earlier to those of you who didn’t realize I was making that mistake.

JANE: It turns out that it's mighty difficult to find touching things to say about a person, the relationship with whom was predicated on deep-seated mutual loathing.

Hah!

--A loathing you regarded as largely more important to you than Jake ever was, by the way. You asshole.

JANE: I imagine this is one of the reasons no funerary tradition was ever established on Alternia, besides the barbarism of their culture. DIRK: Jesus christ. JANE: Not only did a significant proportion of their interpersonality depend on romance in the form of hatred, but it was a society based on cruelty and violence. JANE: What reason could they have had to provide for the dead? JANE: What kind of last rites could they have even imagined?

I wondered for a moment why (bg!)Dirk of all people would react to a single line of her starting to bring up prejudices, but then I realized that (1) Brain Ghost Dirk is a little more Jakey, and (2) Dirk knew that more ranting would follow the first line.

JANE: I can't think of anything good to write about him because deep down, I hated his guts. JANE: But he was and is beloved of the multitude, so I have to think of something regardless. JAKE: Im not sure i understand. JANE: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. JANE: This is politics, Jakey. JANE: Lying through your two front teeth about people you hate is about as good a definition as it's possible to get. JANE: But, by gum, is it tiring work.

Mm. It’s a position Jane put herself in, but it’s still a legitimate position once you’re there.

JANE: The funeral is tomorrow, after all.

Got it.

DIRK: Dude, the bowl. JAKE: Hm? JAKE: Oh, right. JANE: What is it now, Jake. JAKE: I brought something for our guest as well. JANE: You mean the prisoner. JAKE: Y...es.

Wait, bowl?

Oh god damnit which of you had the idea to feed her with a DOG BOWL. Either of you could have thought of it, and either of you would be horrible for it.

> (==>)

Huh, that outfit on Yiffy looks familiar, like a reference to something. And a black tail? This definitely isn’t quite the look I was expecting from Jade Plus Rose, but I suppose the snazzy tie is a Roseish vibe. Also reminiscent of Jade’s old Dead Shuffle dress. Formal wear and soccer cleats??

JANE: She's over in the corner. JANE: Don't worry, she won't bite. JANE: I've seen to that already.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN. I don’t see anything over her mouth! Did she stick something in it, or drug her? File her fucking teeth???

I mean I did forget the Child Abuse trigger warning to be fair. Hoping whatever would be on her mouth is just not shown in-panel yet for stylistic reasons.

> (==>)

JAKE: Its only mac and cheese, sorry. JAKE: Its all I know how to make, haha. JAKE: ... JAKE: I um... hope you can safely partake of cheese? JAKE: ... JAKE: Well, JAKE: Bon appetit.

How the fuck did Jake eat on his island then? --Oh right, preserved food cans that Grandma Jade stored up, I think I remember. Why would cheese not be a thing for them, if it’s fine for Jade? I know he’s probably not just worried about lactose intolerance.

Either way, if she’s drugged here, that’ll mean we won’t get a good idea of her for a while, so which is it...

> (==>)

DIRK: Bon appetit. DIRK: Seriously dude? JAKE: (What? Did i pronounce it wrong?) DIRK: Jake. DIRK: You put the food in a fucking dog bowl. JAKE: (It was all there was, ok???) JAKE: (I feel awful enough as it is without you getting on my case about it.)

Ah, missed the bone pun. AND, yeah, Jake, you’re a fucking idiot, you could have put it in a cup or something.

JAKE: (So far ive yet to see anything come of that brilliant plan of yours.) JAKE: (Are you sure sending that message to the others was enough?)

Okay, so he IS coordinating this slightly.

> (==>)

Horrifying image to contemplate, eh Jane?

Or anger-inducing?

> (==>)

Seems about right!

> (==>)

Oh that’s a GREAT exasperated Jane face.

JANE: I hope you're not expecting dessert, young lady.

I like how Jane didn’t notice, comment on, or care about the bowl. How can you hate a kid so much??

> (==>)

Oh I know why I felt like I recognized the outfit style, it’s because it’s ANIME AS FUCK. Feels like some Persona 4 Arena nonsense, and I say that not having played any of those games or even remembering what they looked like. Also, white hair, black fur’d dog parts? Nice change of pace.

YIFFY: GRRRRRRRRR... JANE: Oh no you don't.

Red text? What color exactly... “#D00009”? Huh. That’s nowhere near Alt-Callie’s #FF0000, and darker than Dave’s #E00707. In fact, let me go back and check those spilled color pins the commentary pointed out from an update or two ago... no, the red pin is #E63225, closer to Dave’s color. (Also, is Yiffy blocking the doorway out? That’s a pretty slack chain then.)

Did Jane see to it that she wouldn’t bite with like, a water spray bottle?

(EDIT: Oh my FUCKING GOD, THAT's why it's #D00009...)

> (==>)

FUCK I didn’t notice the shock collar in the Yiffy image! FUCK YOU, Jane.

> (==>)

Keeping someone in line with collars, especially ones that punish whenever one strays out of line, has always been a decent way for her to mix in some Doomy control of others to show how she’s “grown” to balance her main role and her Tiara-controlled-like inverse for more power. Doom in part represents boundaries that you can’t cross without getting hurt or punished.

> (==>)

FUCK, those little buck teeth!? D’:

JANE: That's more like it.

She HAS to have more of a reason for hating her than hating her parents, right? Like, more than that and general racism applying to partdogfolk?

> (==>)

Hey fuck off with that!

> (==>)

This is a pretty cool ima-- are those piercings on her dog ear? I didn’t notice that in the first shot, neat.

JANE: You've been a thorn in my side ever since I agreed to enroll you at the academy, little madam. JANE: Back then, I was doing a favor for two old friends who made a disgusting mistake. JANE: I'm no longer going to play nice with you just because of your parents, however. JANE: That truce is over. JANE: Do I make myself understood?

What the fuck? WHY would you do that? Why does Jane run "Ms. Paint’s Home for Inconvenient Girls”? What did Yiffy do to piss her off so much there, how much trouble could she have caused?

I don’t know if she’s referring to the behind-Kanaya’s-back part as disgusting or she’s just being MORE racist.

> (==>)

JANE: We don't want you passing out during the ceremony, do we?

Oh, just showing the hostage off during the clown funeral, huh? Classy much?

> (==>)

JANE: Now, be a good hostage and get some rest, Yiffany dear. JANE: We've got a big day tomorrow.

For a politician, Jane’s not good at looking at herself in a mirror.

> (==>)

JANE: Night night. JANE: Hoo hoo.

> (Yiffy: Lights out.)

Huh, dream stuff is gonna be relevant out in Candy then? *click*

Okay, dark background all of a sudden. Properly dramatic? You even have to highlight the non-link “>” part of the Next link to see it.

> (==>)

-- thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG] --

Well, I don’t know WHY it’s happening, but the white-backed pesterlog suddenly on the dark site framing is certainly evocative. Of like, a mood, or something.

TG: i thought he was pretty quiet down there. TG: we'll make a rebel of him yet! AG: Lol. AG: I think it's more that he can't sleep. AG: I know how he feels. TG: yeah. TG: today was a lot. AG: ... TG: do you wanna talk about it? AG: Ugh, not you as well.

It’s really jarring to transition between Homestuck’s “kids jarringly mentally resistant to freaking out about the end of the world” to HS^2′s more realistic “kids traumatized by their first firefight even though it was an overwhelming victory-escape”.

TG: but seriously, do you? AG: Not really. TG: not even about... you know? TG: her? AG: No. TG: ... are you sure? AG: A8solutely. AG: What are you, my moirail? AG: Just leave it, Harry. TG: ok.

Are they about to have an “I wonder what Yiffy’s like” talk?

> (==>)

Very similar Tav/Vrissy convo to the previous one.

GG: I havent ever shared a bedroom before,,, GG: Not even for a slumber party,,, AG: Tavvy, you are just a8out the saddest person I've ever met.

Well, we have an even better idea how horrible Jane can be with kids, now. From Nanna to THIS is quite jarring. I wonder how the double Nannasprites that must still be around here somewhere feel?

> (==>)

TG: nothing about my dad is cute. TG: what are you even saying. AG: Lmao. TG: seriously! TG: i think he has something against that word, even. he gets super weird about it. AG: He's a strange and funny m8n. TG: yeah. TG: ... TG: i think something bad must have happened.

...um. What? Why would John have some sort of trauma about the word cute or being called it?

Did John dress up as a hint of his buried June ambitions as a kid and Dad lavish him with “SO CUTE” praise in an epic supportiveness backfire that caused him to shelve the idea of wearing non-masc clothes and being happier on the flipside of gender ever again??? Because if that’s how June gets canonized as promised, it’s a little harsher than the back of my mind was hoping. I guess it kind of had to be though from the premise of how it was read into his childhood for the original idea, though. Fuck, I hope this Cute business is about something different from that (like a Terezi reference or such) just to get less John Sads. (But still June. Definitely still want to get June.)

> (==>)

Oh, and now Vrissy is doing nothing but talking about what she said she didn’t want to talk about, of course. (Also I like how JANE’s now being called the Batterwitch.)

AG: And the worst part was they didn't even fight a8out it! AG: That made me madder than 8nything else. AG: It felt like I was the only person who even W8S mad! GG: I dont think thats true,,, AG: What would you know a8out it?! GG: Maybe nothing,,, GG: Sorry,,, GG: Its just,,, GG: To me,,, all the way through the conversation,,, aunt kanaya looked even angrier than you,,, AG: ... AG: Adults are so fucking weird.

Guh, I don’t want to be reminded how hurt a good chunk of the fanbase is by Kanaya getting hurt this badly.

Original Tavros was always SLIGHTLY perceptive of others sometimes, but maybe perceptiveness is being hinted at as a Tavros specialty? We still don’t know his classpect/hero-title or have any firm guesses based on purely him evidence. (Also, frightened kids of abusive households tend to learn to get perceptive pretty fucking quickly I hear.)

> (==>)

TG: dad was sitting in the cafeteria with aunt jade and your moms. TG: it looked like they were discussing something important... they were whispering and stuff.

[etc etc] Alright, the what-happened-to-Dave bit. And I imagine they’re kind of helping John grieve there, since Rose and Jade have talked that out already.

TG: aunt kanaya's was the only face i could see. TG: she was standing next to them, but she wasn't looking at what was going on. TG: almost like she couldn't bear to. AG: I doubt it. Kanaya's got a8out as much Emotivity as a very reclusive stone. TG: ok, i think that is bullshit but whatever. TG: she saw me standing there, but didn't say anything. she just shook her head slightly, and pointed back out into the hallway i came down.

Yep, giving them some space to grieve. Also-- gosh, shouldn’t Vrissy have the same emotive senses that Aranea implied Vriska shared with her? Kanaya isn’t that EXPRESSIVE but she’s certainly full of emotion. Also, I hope part of her not bearing to watch wasn’t lingering anger toward Jade and Rose mixing with that, but there probably was a bit of that too, though Dave being gone is so much harsher than that. --I just realized they might not have broken the news to Karkat yet, either.

AG: I guesadxcxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz TG: vrissy?

Put to sleep by someone slumping down on your phone keypad, or surprised by something about the other conversation?

Oh shit, “other conversation” reminded me I didn’t look at Tavros’s chumhandle:

glutinousGymnast [GG]

HHHHHhhhhuh. Hm... huh? hhhh. huh? what, but. Why would. ?????

I really don’t understand what that chumhandle or any of its entendres should signify in this context.

Also, this means for our new four kids we have TG, GG, AG, and ??.

> (==>)

GG: I think she might have succumbed to sleep quite suddenly,,, GG: It would explain the,,,,,, interesting messages I've been getting for a while,,, TG: hehe. TG: i guess that tracks. TG: she does that from time to time.

That’s... strange. Homestuck’s taught us to be suspicious of that.

TG: ... TG: tav? GG: Yes,,, harry anderson,,,? TG: what does it feel like to know someone who's died?

Who is Harry referring to? (EDIT: Yes I know Gamzee for Tavros, but I meant Harry talks like he's worried he'll have to feel that way soon?) Is he just kind of inferring that something bad might have happened to Uncle Dave? Got that perceptive “parents are about to tell me about a death in the family” vibe? Or did he overhear more than he let on to Vrissy?

...alright, that’s the last page of this update. Looks like this chapter is going to continue to have a good bunch of grieving, or talk around it.

---

Now for Bonus Commentary for A Threat, Sensed. For some reason I have a dim memory of like... reading this myself without commenting on it? Or skimming it? But I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that. Weird. Must have imagined doing it.

Ah, I think I saw the opening paragraph scrolling Patreon, and my mind kinda filled in the blanks, this is still looking new to me.

Okay, mostly banter and japes in the commentary here. About Dirk “throwing a huge tantrum in his philosophy cave”.

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter.

Really? That was speculated about? :/

Here we discover that Dirk has not, as some people have speculated, been directly intervening into the Candy timeline, or influencing it in any way. In fact, he has a very hard time seeing anything going on there at all.

Mhmm, and that was a pretty important thing to learn.

A couple of years ago I might have agreed with the take that everything happening in Candy is simply too outlandish to ever happen naturally, without direct, villainous interference, but that was before literally every fucking batshit insane thing that has happened on Real Life Earth started going down, and now I will believe literally anything.

This is a nice bit of distraction from the idea that at least the opening parts of the Candy story were written/narrated by Original, Alive Calliope over on meat side. To refresh your memory of what was pointed out to me:

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls TEREZI: WH4T? ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

Which tracks with the initial out-of-character-seemingness of almost everyone at the start of Candy, and how they kind of tried to railroad things back onto the “Happy??” track after Dirk derailed it with his weird self-accumulation suicide, along with some of the flowery-idyllic descriptions of characters seeing each other bathed in a halo of light and such.

Of course, they’re not going to out-and-out STATE that Calliope was at fault for that narration, helping the Candy story not necessarily fall out the way it did “naturally”, until we finally get a glimpse of her on the heroes’ ship in Meat probably still painting the continuing Candy events, inspiring them into the void of the singularity with her latent powers. Til then, it’s a bit of misdirection whenever the topic is to be brought up. Along with a mix of Roxy’s late-Candy point to John of more or less “why COULDN’T we have done this naturally? you don’t know”.

He might even think that he has more direct power over the narrative than Hussie does himself. Surprise, motherfucker, you are a fictional character.

I’ll quote this next part in full:

There’s been talk of whether or not this bonus was written in the two days between its release and the Yiffy reveal chapter. The answer is--no. It was written over a month ago. But I think the things it addresses were not difficult to suss out. Obviously, Dirk is highlighting the issues that the readership are having with Yiffy, in his typical Dirk fashion. If it seems a little defensive, well...I suppose it is. Yiffy is one of the two hard lines drawn in the sand, and all of us love her, and we’re hoping that everyone else will love her too. But more than that, it focuses on the fact that update culture has a rhythm to it--shock, revulsion, acceptance (or not), and then excitement (or not). Will it follow that pattern this time? Who knows. I guess we’ll find out.

Yeah, given what was going to be dropped on us I expected they would have had exactly this lined up, especially because Andrew specifically mandated Yiffy. --I wonder why they aren’t mentioning that somewhere in the commentary and only on one of their Twitters?

Also quoting this:

There’s something both incredibly “cringe” and self-indulgent, as well as philosophically intriguing, about the author arguing with his villain, especially since he’s writing both halves of the conversation himself. You are, for all intents and purposes, trying to solve a problem that you have created for yourself. You are looking an aspect of your personality in the eye and asking, hey, what the fuck, man?

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

Since it’s part of the central struggle of this story, and kind of the question Andrew’s tried to imply with every Homestuck work about what right we have to keep these characters trapped in a story, and if they’d be better off escaping it.

I’m really trying to avoid quoting so much of this, since the commentary is paid... but I think we can make an exception here? I’ll have only quoted about half of it; just, the really plot-important half. Plus, I left out a LOOOT of japes.

Dirk has a certain idea of how stories are supposed to go. That’s pretty much what the Epilogues is about. The audience also has a certain expectation of how a story is supposed to go. In a way, the Epilogues were also about that. They were taking a story that had reached the traditionally “acceptable” happily ever after, and saying, wait, no. What happens next? Thinking past happily ever after in any story is a terrifying prospect. Once Cinderella marries the prince, what then? Sure, she got what she wanted, but who knows that it will be everything she dreamt it would? What if she changes her mind, if not today, what about ten years from now? What if the prince dies of malaria?

And I’m...

Yeah I don’t have anything else to add here, I’m kind of out of brain juice to think about this tonight. BUSY day I had. Y’all take care!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #Homestuck Commentary

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sillyseadwellersketches · 5 years ago

Text

Pesterquest Thoughts: Redux 2

I accidentally deleted my original pesterquest thoughts like a goober and have to re-type it all but this time I took my time to gather my thoughts and fix some errors. English isn’t my native language and fixing grammar is a necessity.

Okeydokey let’s start off with our favorite fish girl – Feferi!

I enjoyed her routes! The only negative is that her route was plot-centric and not much on her.

What I mean is we already knew her personal view points on how Alternia works. How she wanted to implement change. Beforus!Feferi also showed us what her Alternia would look like. (Still has problems but at least public execution isn’t one of em… )

So all in all we didn’t learn anything new…except ~ The Dark Carnival.

The implications of this are astronomical. We already knew she had insight into the beyond with her luses’ connection to the horrorterrors. Feferi ends up making the dream bubbles so that all the ghosts of every timeline can survive to defeat LE. (This being hinted at her creating a safe bubble for MSPR. )

But with the Dark Carnival and her access to the temporal phenomena in the context of Pesterquest Canon, she has access to be stored in the Lotus and develop into her ultimate self.

Holy shit??? Hello??? Is anyone gunna talk about how cool that is? How badass and amazing? She has multi-universe abilities! And Karako too ~! (Their dance scene made me smile. )

All in all, she is the typical kind-hearted princess who wants to make change in her kingdom. (Empire in this case.) I am content with her being that type of character. I love her bubbly sweet personality and her steady determined kindness to enact change.

She isn’t a forward thinker in some regards (I mean waiting thousands of sweeps to become empress? C’mon Fef.) But her ditzy-ness adds a charm to her. I love her dearly. I wish we could have seen more negative emotions from her. But positive is always a plus ~

Okay so here comes the huge paragraphs…

I loved every Eridan route. It was true to his core character. Nothing wasn’t what we already figured when it came to his “douche” nature.

But we did find out he is mostly faking it and projecting. He over does things due to self-hatred. Hate is all he knows and he knows everyone hates him so he just…continues this charade of pompous superiority.

MSPR could clearly see that even Eridan didn’t fully believe in what he was saying. Like on the phone with Sollux? Eridan was cringing. (I was cringing! OOF! ) But the fact is; Eridan still continues this cycle of racism. He still benefits from it and doesn’t try to fight it. That isn’t cool at all. Hopefully he can change.

Speaking of change his potential for character development was hinted at heavily. I actually think at one point it was told to our face? The pesterquest writers made sure to write in his potential for positive change in the future. They stressed at certain points he is a dumb kid who needs to change and needs to help himself out of this dark dumb hole he dug himself into. I loved that! They called him out on everything he does wrong and how he needs to better himself. And he knows! He knows he needs to change but he isn’t…ready yet…I think? This part I’m not sure on. In HS canon ending, it shows him being forgiven by Fef, Aradia and Sol in the animation so I guess this route is foreshadowing that Eridan’s future redemption. In the dream bubbles he has all the time in the world to develop and grow as a character. Ghost or not, it’s still Eridan and there is hope. Hope is his aspect after all ~! (:

Lastly the most important thing I got out was the canon fact that Eridan is questioning/exploring his gender. We kinda all knew? At least Eridan fans did but…it really meant a lot that this was treated seriously and with respect. That Eridan showed nonbinary/trans individuals respect and that he himself was (potentially) one of them.

I myself have days where I’m sometimes one or the other so this was very meaningful to read. I adored how Eridan was like “I love wearing dresses, idgaf it makes me happy suck it”. Ugh! That sassy Eridan attitude I missed it so much ~!

It was refreshing and…honestly relieving to see the writers show that side of him. When Eridan is passionate about something, he is so dedicated and serious about it.

Of course he’d have a floor to ceiling closet of outfits and accessories. Of course the mannequins would mimic his body type and horns exactly! Such an Ampora thing to do ~

He also realized that him being…well…himself…would be detrimental to non-binary activists and their causes if he showed support or associated with them. They’d take a hit and no one would take them seriously.

Ugh, thank you for showing he has forward thinking and respects causes like that. He believes in them and knows the best support he can give is not showing it. (It’s a little sad though…)

All in all I’m happy about everything. Feferi showed us the deeper lore of the story. Eridan showed layers to his character. (Like an ogre heehee) I’m pleased as a peach! Thank you pesterquest writers ~!

#pesterquest #long post #page stretcher #reef rambles #oof i didn't know certain english words to describe my emotions but hopefully it's legible!

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