#i do not know how to end stories

[irenic-max]

anagapesis

Angst Prompt: “I don’t think I can look at you and not think of how you killed every last bit of love I had for you.”

Reader x Jisung // Jisung x Minho

Angst, Heartbreak, Cheating, Jealousy, Unrealized Feelings, Not A Happy Ending, CollegeStudentsAU, Not idols

_____________________________

Another weekend, another party. You fought to keep the scowl off your face and to keep your features neutral.

You took a sip of your drink and ignored the sharp bite the liquor left as you looked around for your boyfriend. He dragged you to parties every weekend and almost always disappeared into the crowd and with his friends.

Particularly Minho.

You huffed angrily at the thought of your boyfriend’s best friend and threw back the rest of your drink, hoping the alcohol would dim the irritation radiating through your body.

You and Minho just didn’t get along; you two had a completely separate sense of humor, different style, different likes, different taste in food and in music, everything. The only similarity the two of you shared was the adoration for Han Jisung. You would both hang the moon for the playful, energetic boy.

Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem. It hadn’t been an issue for such a big part of your relationship. But since Minho moved into an off campus apartment with someone else in his department, you felt like you were constantly begging and competing for time with Jisung. Your boyfriend began to act like seeing his best friend was a rare event when, in fact, he saw Minho more frequently than ever. He got so easily wrapped up.

You tried to be understanding at first and gave Jisung the time to adjust and figure out how to balance his time without feeling like you were nagging him about plans or dates. But that only sparked arguments when a few weeks had passed and nothing changed. Fights, tears, conversations, yelling, pleading, crying, ignoring - nothing changed Jisung’s blindness to how much time he spent with Minho and how often you were brushed off to the side in favor of the other.

Finally, Jisung decided to invite you out every weekend with his friends. “Why not both?” seemed to be his solution to splitting his free time. Except it wasn’t a solution and it wasn’t split; he always ended up gravitating towards Minho.

You stayed in the kitchen for a round of shots with a few mutual friends before setting out to find Jisung. He was going to spend time with you, you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

You looked around the living room and first floor for a couple of minutes but couldn’t spot your boyfriend anywhere. Or Minho, for that matter.

You recognized one of Jisung’s friends talking in a hallway with a handful of people from a class they shared. This friend was one of the few you could actually tolerate. It was impossible to hate him, really.

“Felix, hi,” you greeted warmly when there was a pause in conversation.

“Hi, y/n,” he responded, smiling at you and offering a tiny wave. “Are you here alone today?”

His words stirred the anger in your belly, but you kept composure.

“No, I came with Jisungie but I lost him somewhere and can’t find him. Do you know where he might be?” You feigned a pout for effect and Felix laughed lightheartedly.

“I haven’t seen him, but Jeongin brought his pen, so maybe they’re taking a few hits? I’d try the basement; Jeongin usually hides down there to smoke.”

You squeezed Felix’s arm gently and thanked him before heading down to the house’s basement. Chatter faded away as you navigated down the hallway and then stairs. The basement was pretty big and divided into a few sections, almost making them different rooms. You knew Jeongin was smart enough to move away from the base of the stairs and hide away as to not get asked for hits all night. You spotted a few guys sitting and sharing the pen, but no Minho or Jisung to be found.

You exhaled, frustrated. You were about to give up when you heard giggling further back, towards the washing machine and water heater. You went to investigate.

Your heart skipped a beat and you felt your stomach lurch. You had to grit your teeth to keep yourself from vomiting on the spot from shock. You heard blood rushing in your ears but couldn’t do anything but stare.

Stare as Minho pinned Jisung to the wall in between his arms and kissed him hungrily. When they parted for a breath, Jisung chased his lips and kissed him back feverishly. Drunken giggles floated in the space between them and you felt the air being punched from your lungs.

You didn’t realize a broken noise cracked from your throat until the boys broke apart and Jisung’s head whipped up. Instantly, the color drained from his face and the tipsy euphoria that was there seconds beforehand was gone.

“I- y/n, uh, we-”

You looked from him to Minho and saw almost no emotion etched into his face; no guilt, no shock, no worry. The bastard almost looked smug. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than a galaxy of space between them and yourself. You turned on your heels and all but bolted away, back through the basement and up the stairs. You heard commotion behind you but kept moving. You weren’t entirely sure when the tears started, but suddenly, your vision was blurring and it was impossible to make out much of anything in detail.

You could tell there was a mass of bodies near the front door and decided to steer towards the back patio. You threw the door open without any care and stumbled out.

How could you be so stupid?

How could you be so blind?

He’s in love with him. He’s fucking in love with him.

Not you. Not you.

Your stomach lurched again and you lost balance, falling forward onto your knees into the grass. Sobs kept bubbling up in your chest, but they would stop before they came tumbling out. They were being drowned out by fury.

“Y/n!”

You lifted your head to see Jisung climbing out the back door onto the patio with Minho trailing close behind.

“Stay away from me!” you snarled, legs still weak and shaky. You still couldn’t get up.

“Y/n, will you just listen to me for a second?”

“I don’t want to hear a fucking thing from you!”

“I love you! I do! You’re one of my best friends,” Jisung shouted out desperately, holding his hands out in a pleading manner. “You know me and I know you. It...It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I didn’t even know what I was feeling, what I was thinking, what I’ve been going through. I’ve been trying to figure it out without hurting anyone. But you’ve been my best friend for so long and you’re more than my girlfriend because of it. We share a special bond, not even one Minho and I have.” Jisung hesitantly took a few steps forward. Minho was smart (for once, you thought angrily) and stayed back.

“Can...can you just look at me? So we can talk?” Jisung asked with a shaky voice. You could hear the emotion behind his words and it only set fire to the rage you felt.

“Why?” You asked, a wet laugh interrupting. “Why? What could talking possibly fix here, Jisung?” You took a second and let out a shuttering breath. “I don’t think I can look at you and not think of how you killed every last bit of love I had for you.

“You chipped away at it, piece by piece over time. You wore it down and when it was at its weakest point, you ripped it out of me. Stomped on it. You’re watching me bleed out and then asking me why I’m not patching you up.

“It’s over. We are done. I...I fucking hate you, Jisung. And I fucking hate you more, Minho.”

You took the moment as Jisung stood stunned from your words to finally stand and break away from them. You clenched your fists, digging your nails in until they pierced your palms and used that pain to ground yourself as you walked away from all of it. You let your tears and cries fall freely as you mourned life as you knew it with Han Jisung.

[egophiliac]

back at it again with the extremely self-indulgent diafams! I am being emotionally supported by overly-cutesy interactions between anime characters right now, don't judge me.

(also continuing with my headcanons that 1) mustache Bauru, and 2) he'll be hugely tsundere about it but you can, ultimately, convince him to do just about anything via careful application of Sebek.)

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[kathaynesart]

REPLICA PLAYLIST

MUSIC UNDER CUT

I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry it’s not Spotify/Soundcloud but they don’t have some of these songs available so uh… guess you’re stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).

Replica Main Theme - “Die for You” by Grabbitz Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet 7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills

I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.

I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!

[knightofleo]

Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[thefloatingstone]

Appleseed PDA montage to save you from reading endless pages of unimportant politics that don't amount to anything

also because I have nothing better to do, I'm bored, I'm moody, my gaming laptop is still broken so no BG3, and it's too late at night to start drawing after doing animation clean-up all day.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[evercelle]

2024 art summary! it sure has been a year

[captain-astors]

The Crown Prince

[cementcornfield]

Ja'Marr talks about Joe "screaming" at him in college for wearing warming lotion 🔥

[egophiliac]

tsum events really are just the best, huh

[mohntilyet]

they hated illario because he was a d1 yapper who was bad at assassinating people and was so annoyingly drunk and grief stricken at his cousin’s wake that viago had to drug him to shut him up (so what if he was also the guy who set his cousin up to die/disappear) . and also for working with the venatori and selling out the antivan crows i guess.

[s0fter-sin]

what i would give for a ghost based cod campaign. can you imagine if they pulled from the comics and had roba come back and want to get revenge against ghost for destroying his empire? the 141 slowly learning about simon riley and banding together to kill his ghost?

ghost being so certain he killed roba to set up an unreliable narrator; taking this unfathomable soldier, the nightmare of the 141, and realising he bleeds humanity. playing as ghost through flashbacks of mexico and his torture under roba but in the current time, little details break down; little inconsistencies of enemy numbers or base layout or what people look like, things that you can't be sure if you the player just missed something or if it’s really ghost seeing things that aren’t there

ghost starting to question how much of his memory is real, both what he went through with roba and what he’s currently experiencing; if it's his trauma bleeding through or if he's breaking for the last time. he doesn’t know if he can trust himself ("just make sure you can trust yourself. start there") and he has to reckon with completely trusting the 141 when he realises he can't

i need a sequence of him just losing his shit; hearing roba's voice in his head, his taunting “english” telling him he never left his compound, seeing the dead prostitute and his father laughing, always laughing, the tear of the meathook between his ribs and sting of the scorpions in his flesh, the coffin and the rotting stench of the dark and all of it culminating in ghost almost accidentally shooting soap when he tries to talk him down

whether it ends up being someone pretending to be roba or they just change it to roba still being alive, either way i need a ghost based campaign with personal stakes and character depth

[originalartblog]

Storm Bringer AU where everyone was too late and Chuuya didn't resist enough. (more details under the cut ↓)

Chuuya finished reciting the activation phrase the first time and released Arahabaki, which the lab could contain using their emergency water protocol (flash-flood the room like they wanted to in the video, since the room was a tank for holding water). They could then override Chuuya's "persona model", aka erase his memories for easier conditioning.

Verlaine would be a few minutes too late and find the room being emptied with Chuuya still hung on he wall. Chuuya being mostly unresponsive (that was a whole lot of physical and mental trauma in a very short time), the whole thing hit way too close to home. Verlaine unhooked Chuuya from his torture position, but left him there as he went to rampage through the whole facility and take revenge on the researchers (for himself or for Chuuya?) and find N.

In the meantime, Dazai and Adam are unaware of the situation and start off doing the exact same thing they do in the light novel, but then realize something's off compared to Dazai's predictions. Above events ensues.

what next? well. :) wouldn't I like to know