#i do not have a high opinion of edward

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

i watched conclave and now I really want to know more about all the drama with cardinals, how do you find out about that kind of stuff?

Ohhhh boy. Where to even begin?

Well, to start with, a lot of the cardinals in Conclave are based on real people! Bellini is obviously Carlo Maria Martini (right down to having a surname that's a mixed drink), especially in the book, where he's apparently Italian rather than Italian-American (I love that, unlike with Lawrence, who's also Italian in the book,* they didn't change his name; Stanley Tucci is eminently capable of playing an ItAm guy named Aldo Bellini <3). Martini was a "liberal" Archbishop of Milan who for much of the 90s was widely expected to succeed Pope John Paul II but ended up stalling out at the 2005 conclave.** Tedesco has a lot in common with Raymond Burke, an archconservative cardinal who's still alive and very vocal in the media, although Burke, conversely, is American rather than Italian. (America unfortunately has a very conservative local Catholic Church in general these days.) Tedesco and Burke even look similar, right down to the campy, "muffled sounds of 'Good Luck, Babe!' playing in the distance" fashion sense and body language. Tremblay has a similar career trajectory to Marc Ouellet, who, like Tremblay, was widely respected and seen as pretty middle-of-the-road until serious scandals started coming out. Adeyemi doesn't seem to be based on or inspired by any one real person, but the virulent homophobe who isn't that reactionary otherwise is a very common type of sub-Saharan African cardinal, perhaps most prominently represented currently by Fridolin Ambongo Besungu. Like with Adeyemi, I can see Ambongo picking up steam but then imploding over the course of the next IRL conclave, although it would be uncharitable to Ambongo to assume it would be for the same reasons. And so on.

(Benitez is an ideal, rather than someone inspired by a real person or ideological type, but there are cardinals who've had similarly high-stress and altruistic career and life trajectories, like Marco Zenari, Pierbattista Pizzaballa (which is seriously his name),*** and, in fairness to him, also Ambongo, who is Congolese and is regularly physically threatened by political and paramilitary forces within the DRC.)

As to how one learns more about this, you could start by setting news alerts for some of these people's names--Matteo Zuppi, Luis Antonio Tagle, Pietro Parolin, Peter Erdo, and Victor Manuel Fernandez are other names to potentially watch--or reading some books that have been written recently about the current politics of the Church, the Curia, and the Francis papacy. There's one called In the Closet of the Vatican that is incredibly scurrilous, as its title would suggest, but a rip-roaring read if you're not too concerned about forming possibly-unfair negative opinions of some of these guys. There are also writers like Austen Ivereigh and (gag) Edward Pentin who've made whole careers of being Vatican Inside Baseball Understanders, especially since Pope Francis was elected in 2013.****

In general I'd say Conclave is a very good representation of the way these people think and act, especially the constant tension between venal ambition and genuine belief that they are participating in a divine agency in the world. The tendency in non-Catholic and even some Catholic circles is to assume that only the former is present, but people are complicated.

I hope some of this helps, anon!

*I looked it up and in the book he's called Jacopo Lomeli. I've never seen this surname before, but apparently some real people do have it.

**The Catholic Church has its own ideological spectrum and there are ways in which liberal, progressive, conservative, etc. are not very useful terms, but for broad purposes they work here.

***Patriarch of Jerusalem, the only Palestinian cardinal (cardinals are counted as "from" the countries that they lived in when they became cardinals, not necessarily the countries they're from originally; in his case his country of origin is, unsurprisingly, Italy). As you might imagine, he's been in religious news a lot lately.

****Francis, or Jorge Mario Bergoglio as he was then, is widely believed to have been the runner-up at the above-mentioned 2005 conclave, which produced Pope Benedict XVI.

[lennadanvers]

The Heartbreak Chronicles

 Edward The Freak Munson was your first love.

(In more than one way).

(None of them ended up well).

High school Edward was something. Jean and leather, band t-shirts and patches. The shiny chains were still there. He had picked up guitar and stuck with it, as you found out at the talent show. His hair and his opinions had grown.

And his big, sad eyes were still there.

He had a reputation now: dangerous, freaky, dark. Maybe it was true. Maybe it had always been. It was just that people took a while to realize. He was the same over dramatic, fun, imaginative boy you had lost. Except that he took his drama all the way up to the tabletops of the cafeteria now.

It was hard not to enjoy the show. It was even harder to wonder how would it be to know him again. He had so much determination and sarcasm, he was so over the way the world worked, so full of disdain and passion… As someone who had served under the Queen’s orders- even if it was a fantasy queen, years ago, in the battlefield that was kindergarten-, you wanted to be loved by him.

How would anyone not want to be worthy of his love?

You knew better, of course. He had distanced himself. And yeah, maybe it had been a long time ago, but why should you give him another chance? No, sir. You didn’t have many things, but your pride was something no one could take from you.

Besides, he had never asked for another chance.

But he was fucking everywhere. He had founded the coolest club in the whole state. His van took up half the parking lot, a lighthouse in the middle of a naked shore. His hair was impossible to miss in the hallway, and your lunches were plagued by him and his stupidly interesting speeches. He even showed up at every party, ready to supply the sheeples with the only best weed in Hawkins.

And not once, in any of those scenarios, were you the object of his attention.

You could have stayed away, of course. It was just a matter of willpower. But your curiosity was bigger. Also, the sheet to sign up for Hellfire Club ended up being taped to the wall right next to your locker. It had to be a sign, if fate could be any more literal: just sign the sign.

It was a terrible idea. Made your nerves skyrocket and your appetite disappear, and your hands were trembling more than usual. You promised yourself you wouldn’t go back if it turned out to be as awful of an experience as you feared.

It was much, much worse: your first day at Hellfire was amazing. You had actual fun- something you hadn’t had in years, if you were honest. The boys were nice in a warm way, talking over each other and, frankly, more excited about the game than you. It was great, because it didn’t make you feel like a guest, but like you belonged.

And Edward welcomed you.

After years without talking to you, without even glancing at you, he smiled and bowed, arms wide as if to show you his kingdom.

“Be welcome to our humble table, mighty lady. Be prepared to face more adventure than you’ve ever heard of, more danger than you can fear and to conquer more victories than anyone can dream.”

He acted that way with everyone. And he lied.

You had heard of that much adventure, sure as hell. Actually, some of his adventures sounded familiar- they were detailed evolutions of childhood games.

But you fell for it anyway. It was good to be back home.

Even if he stabbed you in the back every now and then.

After the first session, as everyone was tidying up, he had cocked his head at you.

“We used to play together when we were kids, didn’t we? You’re not as boring as you look.”

And he had the audacity to wink, as if it would do anything but burn. So you punched back.

“Oh… Did we? I have a pretty bad memory. Sorry.”

Cue innocent and nonchalant shoulder shrug, finished off with a tight lip smile.

The second time Edward Munson broke your heart was worse, because you saw it coming. And you still followed him, like a reflection on a dark mirror, like you had no choice but to help him shatter you.

Second part! The next one is Eddie's POV! Please comment or reblog if you like it, that really motivates me to keep writing! Also, my inbox is always open (not just for requests and ideas about fics, you can also come say hi and tell me about your day or whatever you want to talk about). If you want me to add you to the taglist, just let me know!

Taglist: @arabellagreenleaf , @stylesxmunson , @am0iur

[desolateyears]

Have a mini fic about Steve annotating books and Eddie finding it really hot🖤

So obviously, Eddie's a bookworm. Before he had any friends, he spent the better parts of his childhood at Hawkins Library after school and Hawkins Middle's library during any recesses and lunches. He constantly read books, this was before Wayne got him a guitar and before he got into dnd, and being a bookworm tremendously helped him fuel both of those hobbies later on. But before then? The library was like a second home to him. 

And so, recently founding out that Steve reads, like a lot, is something of a revalation. It's not that Eddie thinks the guy is stupid, but he figured the guy spent time doing other productive hobbies at home. But the guy reads, and as previously mentioned, Eddie considers himself a literature connoisseur of sorts. Writing book reports and essays were one of the few things he actually excelled at in high school. 

So anyway, he found out that Steve is a book nerd by finding one of Steve's books open on his bed. Not really the strangest thing that Eddie's come across in Steve's room if he's being honest, and not the biggest indicator of nerdiness, until he focuses his attention and acknowledges the bright colors sprawled across the pages. 

A burst of rainbow colors underlining what Eddie guesses are his favorite parts of the story or important stuff he wanted to remember. And obviously, Eddie has to ask him about it. and Steve explains to him that he has a whole color key and it's made up of romantic lines that make him feel warm, sad stuff that makes him tear up, stuff that is word for word undoubtedly Steve Harrington sprawled on a page. Steve won't tell him which color is which, too embarrassed by it, but he lets Eddie read through them, and then he stares at Steve in unyeilding fondness. 

The look reflected on Steve's is not the same, mostly anxiety and insecurity, which Eddie immediately wants to soothe. It's so so sweet he thinks but Eddie's mouth translates the words into, "That's so fucking hot." Which, shit man, it is but he hadn't meant to say it out loud. 

"Shut up, dude, don't make fun of me right now." 

And listen, books are everything to him, this is no joking matter. They inspire his own stories, whether through a dnd campaign or writing song lyrics. It's honestly probably the most attractive thing a person could do in Eddie's opinion, he didn't know how hot until right about now, but he'll die on this hill. Annotating your books is hot. 

"Listen to me when I say this Steve, while that is the nerdiest thing I've ever heard and I'm, ya know, me. It's also about the most attractive thing that's come out of that pretty mouth of yours, like ever."

And Steve folds his arms across his fucking beautifully sculpted chest and narrows his eyes just slightly, raising a judgemental eyebrow at him. 

"You're being serious."

Oh he's never been more serious about anything in his life. 

"Uh...yeah? Yes. Oh my god."

Yeah, real eloquent Edward. 

Whatever, his heart is pounding profuesely against his rib cage because holy shit Steve is a book nerd and Eddie wants to kiss him fucking yesterday. So he gets on all fours on Steve's bed to lean forward and basically attacks his mouth before he can even think about it. 

And when he pulls back, Steve's pupils are blown wide and his breath has picked up pace, and Steve keeps bouncing between looking at Eddie's eyes and his lips. 

"You just kissed me."

It comes out disbelieving. 

"Yeah and with your permission I'd like to continue, like stat, immediately, now."

"You're insane."

And hands weave through curls and pull. 

Eddie tumbles foward, ending fully sprawled on top of Steve, and, jesus christ, body pressed impossibly close to his. 

And after they're romantic, read: nerdy horniness, little makeout session, he forces Steve to read the annotations himself, going through all the books that are important to Steve. He has to stop himself from moaning to really emphasize how hot he finds it, and to make Steve slightly embarrassed, but refrains. Just lets him continue. 

Eddie has never been so in love in his life.

[marvelmaniac2000]

My Spaghetti and Meatballs

Summary: imagine giving Eddie simple human decency and he definitely gets stalkerish and insane. 

Characters: Edward Nashton x fem! Reader 

Minors DNI / +18 Only 

Subject: Smut! Stalking, voyeurism, anxiety reader, aesthetically pleasing content, extreme attachment/abandonment issues, orphanage, unprotected sex (practice safe sex everyone) 

Words: 2.0k

Side notes: I’ve been bored lately and needed to dribble some stories down. I’ve been sickly obsessed with pauly poo.  This was inspired by the spaceman intereview he did with adam sandler and fantasmas tv show.

 You hummed a tune to yourself to keep calm.. You were very hungry and you planned on making spaghetti and meatballs for yourself. But also of course to help save money by having leftovers. Some of your anxiety started to kick in because it was a little dark outside in the city and you were alone commuting to the grocery store. Even though Gotham had its reputation it wasn’t much you could do but always look out for yourself. You had on beat up converse shoes and warm auburn fall peacoat on in a cool first week of October. You were about average looking (in your own opinion) and didn’t draw much response from other strangers.

"Ok" you mouth to yourself, while looking at your grocery list in your notes. I need noodles, ground beef, etc . You mumbled to yourself and looked down the aisle for each ingredient. 

 “H-hey excuse me” you snapped your head up and looked at the man in front of you. 

 “Hi” you gave a dry response before realizing who it was.

“O-oh my goodness, Eddie!..” you swiveled your items out of your basket in your hand before bringing him in a hug. Edward gasped a little, finally seeing you in front of him. It has almost been years but it only felt like yesterday since he saw you in the very flesh directly talking to him. He has been following you and keeping touch with you since the day you guys both turned eighteen, but technically you both have been on your own since sixteen from the orphanage. It was one of the worst days of his life, when you finally were taken into an adoptive family at the late age of sixteen years old. 

   It felt like a jab to his stomach losing the family member he created within himself. The foster parents didn’t mean anything to him, the real mother he had was you. You were his sister, mother and girlfriend he needed. You were everything he needed of course.Edward knew he wasn’t going to be adopted, but he didn’t care. He stared at you barely able to make out any last words. Just your presence and knowing you were ok was what all he needed to know. As long as you were protected and were there for him, he could continue on. He knew you like the back of his hand. Some days he could go without checking on you, but he had to make sure you were still ok. Sometimes he would send money and support to your live stream, and fantasize of the costume you put on display for that video. It was his ritual. 

 “You look good Eds, you’re still just as adorable and sweet growing up” you couldn’t help but squeeze  his pink cheeks together and peck him on the cheek. Words couldn’t describe what he meant to you. You and Eddie were the only ones who tried to survive the foster home life and survive shitty school years too. You both slept together in the same bunk rooms, you slept in his bed when he was scared and rubbed him to sleep, you made sure his favorite cereal was there, even if the other kids sometimes would get greedy and not share. You cleaned his glasses for him, bought him clothes with little money you did have from your high school job. He was your baby. He gave you meaning when nothing else felt like so. Eddie's face turned a flush red. A rush of happiness and warmth swept over his body that he never felt in awhile. But it has been awhile since anyone showed him any type of affection and especially coming from you. Any type of praise from you sent him over the edge and he wanted more. 

  “I missed you too, I wanted to make sure you were still doing ok, I see you’re working now and have your own life” Eddie wanted to know if you had a boyfriend. He couldn’t afford to have you keep any secrets away from him.  “Yea I’ve been more happy than I've ever been, my own money, own life, no worries, it’s great.” You notice how upset your Eddie looked. “Why don’t you come over to my apartment, I’m making your favorite” you smiled. If Eddie could cry of happiness he could. He wanted to ball up in bed with you and cuddle as long as he could. “That would be great” he pushed the rim of his glasses up and followed you out to purchase the groceries. 

  You both arrived at your apartment that was dimly lit with your tv still on. “Oh uh sorry for the mess I don’t usually like to clean up until I get the energy to sometimes.” You wanted to make Eddie feel at home like he always felt. “Um just sit over there Eds you can watch tv if you like, there’s a blanket over there” 

 “It’s ok I’ll just watch tv from here, you always go above and beyond for me” Eddie was just happy to finally have you here and inside your apartment. He looked around taking in the different furniture, decor and things you had inside your place. He notices your desktop and computer in the corner of the room with a gaming chair just like in your videos you use.

  You took off your jacket and lit a bunch of candles that you had decorated on your kitchen counters. 

You wondered what Eddie was doing around lately. He didn’t seem like the type to hang around town alone. But maybe he has changed now that he is older. You let the noodles boil and create your special tomato sauce in a separate pan. 

  “Sooo eddie what have you been eating now huh? Frozen dinners?” you joked while looking at him mindlessly watching tv. He looked so cute with his big puppy dog eyes.

   “Very funny but I make do with whatever I can make myself” he smiled. “But I always miss your food ” He watched the tv hoping this moment would never end. Your cheek flushed a bit red hearing him talk. Eddie was somewhat of an old soul, he reminded of guys who deserve everything in the world, but was just sort of awkward. But it was nice finally having him around, it did feel a bit lonely not having anyone around, but you wouldn’t change it for the world, finally having your peace and independence living your life. The tomato sauce smelled amazing in the entire room. You pour the paste inside the noodles and mix it well together. You brought a plate to Eddie with a fork. Eddie smiled and felt like he was home once again. You sat next to him curled up on the side watching whatever show was on. 

   “So what do you do now for work?” You nervously peeled your fingernails. Eddie chewed with a mouth full of food before he talked. 

“Nothing much, just a financial analyst at a company, but I guess it’s ok” he hummed while he ate. “Oh that’s good to hear” you watch him with adoration while he stuffed his face. 

  “Do you mind if I stay here for the night? I think it’s supposed to be a really bad storm tonight.” Edward looked at you with his eyes. “Of course it’s not a problem at all,” you smiled. “Here I’ll get you some towels and stuff for a shower.” Edward watches you leave, seeing you disappear in your bedroom. He wondered what your bedroom looked like. If it was normal and basic or with different colors with many pillows. 

  “Um the towels and stuff are in this closet if you need them, you gesture the closet against the wall” you showed him. “Ok” he nodded. 

“I’ll just jump in the shower real quick” you told him before making your way out. Eddie gave you a reassuring nod before looking out the autumn window noticing the seasons beginning to change. He hated the fact that he lied to you, but it was the only way he could stay any much longer here with you. He watched you make your way into the bathroom to cleanse yourself up. Eddie pants began to harden listening to the echo of the water running down your body and your nude body lathered up with soap. 

His aching bulged pressed against him. He tossed the blanket over his legs to casually cover his member. 

  To make matters even worse you came out of the steaming hot shower with a sexy baby doll gown and fluff slippers. “It’s all yours Eddie” you sat next to him on the sofa in a sigh of relief. “Thanks” he managed before striding in the bathroom. You cover yourself up with a cozy blanket and turn the channels to see what else is on cable. 

   Eddie noticed used pads and looked inside your dirty laundry basket. You had a pretty lace black thong that had trimmed lace around it. He balled up the fabric and stuffed two more pairs inside his pocket before jumping into your shower. Eddie missed everything about you and your warmth. The way you took care of everything around him. Then finally he slowly came back out with only his clothes but with a tank top and his boxer briefs. 

  “Come cuddle with me Eddie” you laying gently on top of him.  “You know I’m glad you’re doing ok eddie” you held him close feeling him.

   “Me too” he mumbled in heaven. You felt his bulge between your legs and tried to make sure you weren’t imagining it. Eddie couldn’t manage to get it down even after taking a shower. He wanted you so badly right at that moment. “Do you need help with this?” you whispered while moving your hand to his boxers. “Umm yes” he groaned. “I can help” you push your hand down in his boxers and rub the precum that glossed over his dick. 

“Just like that?” you managed to say.

   “Y-yes” he groaned again. You pull yourself up to kiss him on the lips before rubbing his member a little harder. Eddie bucked his hips to your hand as you continued your pace. 

You moaned from feeling him get pleasure from it. 

  “Can I put it in me Eddie?” you asked him before stopping. 

   “Of course I want you now,” he demanded. You slide your panties off and stick it in slowly before riding him at a slow deliberate pace. Eddie held onto your hips as guiding for you to go quicker.

    “Oh Eddie” you moaned, lowering yourself to kiss him passionately. His hands roamed under your gown and greedily gave your plump boobs a squeeze. You whimper feeling him take control. Eddie could barely catch his breath before his mouth met your soft nipples. You gave out a loud moan rocking your hips harder with him grazing your wet insides. 

   “Mmmm” you threw your head back and felt him touch your g spot. 

  “Right there baby” Eddie put on his glasses and now watched you with his emerald eyes. “I’m going to come” Eddie murmured  before cumming his load inside of you. You stop your pace before catching your breath. 

 There was a rumble of thunder outside before you both realized what was happening. “I’m glad you’re here to keep me safe huh?” you giggled. “I guess so, we always had each other's backs, remember?” 

“I do” you cooed. Eddie pulled himself out of you before covering the blanket with both of you falling asleep.   

My Card 💚

[mjrtaurus]

Hallmark dragodile..

Crocodile is a business mogul, he has everything he could ever want. Living in LA, racing his high end car and sipping scotch overlooking the city from his high rise.

Then his father has a heart attack and he has to pack his things and head to rural Iowa? Idk us states.

Anyway he has to help run his adoptive dad’s farm for the next 6 months. No problem, he can’t totally do that.

Oh dear god it’s hell, no it’s literal hell. Everyone knows that he’s one Edward newgates sons and everyone has opinions on everything he does.

He has never been so glad to be stealth than in this situation.

The first run in with Dragon is at the hardware store (because of course he had to go to a hardware store because the porch is falling apart)

Croc is so busy counting to ten while smiling politely at the owner ringing up his purchase of new lumber and nail gun, he doesn’t notice the ringing of the bell as someone enters.

What he does notice is how the owner immediately stiffens up.

“Let me give you some free advice dear.” As if she hadn’t been doing that for the past hour.

“Stay away from that man.”

Crocodile gives a glance, but all he gets is a mane of dark hair and a jean jacket disappearing into the shelves. He raises an eyebrow

The owner grimaces “he’s Garps boy, his father is a good man but Dragon?” She clicks her tongue. “He’s trouble.”

“Thanks for the advice.” Clips out Croc cause he doesn’t care about townie gossip. He has to get back to deal with the horses.

It’s another two weeks before he actually meets Dragon. A knock on the door around 7 pm, crocodile answers while Edward looks on with interest.

Crocodile opens the door to a whole lotta man. Cradling Stefan like a baby.

The first thing that catches crocs eye is the tattoo bright, stark lines cross crossing over a dark eye.

The second thing is that Dragon is hot.

A hoarse rumble emanates from the man in question. “Found stef in the chicken coop again.”

“Oh he must have been catching up with Mitski.” Edward crows “you know their good friends”

Dragon nods, drops a “sleep well Newgate.” And leaves sans dog within a manner of seconds.

Crocodile closes the door “that’s Dragon?” He asks a little in disbelief.

His dad nods, Stefan firmly planted at his feet. “Aye, and don’t you go making any trouble for him. Lord knows the boys already had enough for two lifetimes.”

“Pretty sure patty at the hardware said, He was the trouble.” Crocodile says padding over to sit by his father.

“Patty is a gossiping cunt who don’t know her head from her ass.” Edward snaps.

“You like him.” Crocodile stares at his father “the town hates him, but you like him, you want to protect him.”

“Ain’t like his daddy was doing any protecting” Edward grumbles.

“Explain.”

His father sighed “don’t go repeating this alright? When dragon was still a lad in high school him and a friend of his got lynched by some neo nazi shitheads who thought that their belief in god have them the right to beat the shit out of anyone that didn’t fit their narrative.”

Edward swallowed “his friend died from internal injuries two days later. And the shitheads? They weren’t even charged, couldn’t risk their future is what the police decided.”

“So when Dragon got out of the hospital, he went after them. It was 6 to 1 and no one was there to witness it. Police rolled up found Dragon surrounded by the unconscious shitheads, they cuffed him and threw him to juvie without a thought. I hear after juvie he went for special forces, can’t imagine what he went through there. But all the townies see is the freaky kid who destroyed 6 football players careers in one night.”

His dad looked at crocodile, “he’s a good man, sad but good.”

And this of course, piques Crocodile’s interest even further.

But he doesn’t go digging for anything. He’s sure theres stuff about the incident if he looks into it, but he doesn’t really care to see the sanitized tale that let a half dozen skinheads get away with murder. He doesn’t want to see how a grief-stricken kid avenging his friend got watered down to “troubled teen severely injures six in vicious attack”.

If he wants the whole story, he’ll just have to hear it from Dragon. Like that’s ever gonna happen.

So he keeps helping around the farm, cursing any god that would listen because this is work he was not meant for.

Until one morning, there’s a horse in the yard. Not one of Pops’ either. It’s a strange looking one, too. A short mane that stood straight up like a shoe brush, with stripes fading in and out of its ochre coat. That’s… a zorse, right? They’re called zorses?

And just past the fence is another horse- also not one of Pops’- reddish brown at the front that paled into a nice silvery color towards the hindquarters, with a gorgeous black mane. This one was saddled.

And in that saddle…

“Nika, I take my eyes off of you for three damn seconds… ” Dragon, half-awake, half-dressed, and very exasperated, called from the back of the roan.

And as if all of this wasn’t surreal enough, Dragon was holding a freckle-faced boy on his hip that couldn’t have been older than three.

Who the fuck was this enigma of a man?

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Now that there's an animated adaptation of Midnight Sun coming, and given the industry's recent track record (see: Minecraft Movie), what's the worst, bad faith, cash grab adaptation idea you can imagine? I figure if we inoculate ourselves then the reality won't suck so much.

My nightmare: Streaming has a long history of making shitty attempts at "adult animation", so we'll get an Edward who constantly cusses and does lewd jokes. It'll be like the HBO adult animated Velma (Scooby Doo) show where the writers' disdain for the characters fills every scene. The first episode will focus on how Carlisle helps plan a murder of some overly suspicious deputy so they can keep living in Forks.

Anyways, worst case theories? So we can feel better when it's not THAT bad? Or else use the apollo prophecy meme on your post a year or two from now.

My 'realistic' prediction

Twilight: The Edgy Animated Adult Series with Twelve Times More Drugs and Swearing

Oh man, yours is worse than mine. I mean this guessing the future business is a little silly in general, but I think that wouldn't happen as Twilight's not...

How do I put this?

Scooby Doo is a beloved, vintage, IP that's so well-known it's a part of American culture/Americana. It's in that weird place where it's acceptable to do edgy reboots of it because everyone already knows the premise of the Scooby gang, each individual character, the bad guys, and their mysteries.

You don't have to explain who any of the characters are supposed to be, so you get a "ah ha ha ha isn't it funny that Velma swears now?" because you know she's from a 1960's cartoon.

Twilight's not quite old enough for that and, at least in my opinion, not pervasive enough for that. It was a huge sensation, but was never as big as HP, and dominated only a subset of the YA audience (female-targeted YA romance). Ask a person off the street and the most they can probably, maybe, tell you is "sparkly vampires and Team Edward and Team Jacob". So, at best you get riffs like we saw when Twilight came out with the Simpsons and various other parodies where the parodies... really didn't know what to do with the characters or what it was even about. "Milhouse turns into a poodle, I guess? Is that funny? It's funny, right?"

Twilight just isn't old enough and as big as it was, I don't think was widespread enough.

So, I think we're going to get an earnest reboot.

But you do now have me concerned. And I may be eating my words later on this post and reblogging with a clown face.

Other Theories

Alright, let's see what we've got/what we can come up with:

Yours: HBO adult comedy horror fest

Mine: Boring, Snoozeville, Tame, Generically Arted Palatable Twilight that is Designed to Be as Appealing as Possible

Other options I can think of are...

Interview with a Vampirepalooza/Oh God I Don't Know What's Popular: given the recent success of Interview with a Vampire, an edgier adult story with adult characters, Netflix will look to make Twilight their exact own version of that. Except they won't understand what made it work there. We sexy it up but in a CW way, the kids are all still in high school but the fact that the Cullens are fucking each other is brought up relentlessly in an edgy way. The vampires all look hot, hot, hot but in a normal human way where you're not terrified they're some crystal robot out to eat your limbs. We'll keep some of the artsy weird dialogue, but Edward will be both somehow made more sympathetic (as he is the lead we end up with) and 'dark' where he's dangerous in a sexy way and not in a "you smell like my personal heroin way".

The Buffy Route: remember that one teen show from the 90's that was so good it spun off an entire genre of television that essentially hadn't existed before? Twilight becomes a fun teen oriented show where the characters say witty, fun, teenage-like things and get into episodic mysteries while somehow trying to remain in the realm of Twilight. Edward loses his edge, Bella loses her unrelatable nature, and we really play up every time a character has a funny line and write a lot more in there. Unfortunately, it's not a well written teen comedy show and so the lines are just generally bad and the plot never seems to go anywhere and it's just boring.

Hannibal the Twilight: some really artsy director gets involved and we now have a show where the symbolism of Edward walking around as a man-deer takes over the entire fucking thing. Nothing ever happens, Edward just shows up in Bella's dreams as a snarling man deer. When characters talk to each other, it's in artsy nonsense dialogue where it feels like both are reading 2000's era chatbot scripts to one another as they mix metaphors about ponies, china pottery, and dust motes. The plot is so non-existant the only important episodes to watch in a season are the premier and finale, except even then it's unclear what happened.

Audience Input

Anyone else got any wild guesses here?

[ladyluscinia]

What Exactly Did David Jenkins Say?

Look, I'm still staunchly of the opinion that Word of God statements and creator interviews are overvalued in fandom, especially when they get pulled out mostly as gotchas without then continuing to analyze whether or not the show canon is successful at getting across that same message. Death of the Author is good, actually, and we should remember that. But they are worth looking at in the context of evaluating intent vs execution, and for future speculation - just, like, please with less of the whole mile high pedestal idolizing and backlash cycles.

But if overvalued "Word of God" is annoying, then overvalued "supposed creator statements that have gone through three rounds of telephone and any given blogger has only heard about a quarter of them, which they'll use confidently anyway" is worse. So, since I'd already looked up interviews for various reasons...

Here is a fairly comprehensive list of interviews David Jenkins has given and statements he's made during them, presented without commentary (save curating which statements get highlighted). All provided with links. I definitely missed some, so if you have any that you want to add, please do - though if you could trim off any commentary and save it for tags / your own post with a link that would be cool.

Also, again, just because he said it doesn't make it incontrovertible canon that only a blind person wouldn't understand. Some of these even arguably contradict each other. The creator's intent doesn't always translate to what the show is doing, nor do you even have to think it was a good idea.

(Listed in chronological order from oldest to newest - post contains spoilers below the cut)

Pre-S1

Gizmodo - Feb 22, 2022 - with Cheryl Eddy (io9) - Link

Why this story - Really, it was the enigma of Stede that drew him in. "I think actual pirate stuff is fine, but it's not necessarily my cup of tea. And I think Taika [Waititi] felt similarly. But hearing about this guy and reading about him and seeing that, you know, he left his family, then he met Blackbeard, they hit it off, and we don't know any of the details in between. So filling those blanks in, and having a very human story, and then being able to do it with the pirate genre, that was like, 'Oh, this would be cool.'"

Post 1x01 - 1x03

Polygon - March 5, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

About Stede running off to sea - "Stede thought he could outrun his baggage, and you can't outrun your baggage."

About S1 - "I don't think there was enough improv on set! We had an insane schedule, with a huge amount of plot. We were budgeted and designed as a one-hour show, but with a half-hour production schedule, which means we really had to chase these episodes to get them shot. And then there are certain emotional beats that we really needed. So trying to find places to find the fun was hard."

Mashable - Mar 5, 2022 - with Belen Edwards - Link

About the show concept - "It was Jenkins' wife who first told him about Stede's adventures; she thought it would make a good TV show."

On casting Rhys Darby - "Stede did a terrible thing to his family. If you cast it wrong, he's a very hard character to get behind," Jenkins said. "Very quickly, the only person I thought of for this was Rhys [Darby]. He has this childlike quality that's endearing."

About the story - "Seeing them discover a need for each other that neither anticipated and charting how that relationship goes is the meat of the story." + "If you're on this ship, you're running from something, and you're running to something that you can't be on land"

Mentions of matelotage - "In fact, one of Jenkins's favorite pirate facts that he learned while working on Our Flag Means Death was the term matelotage, which was a civil union between same-sex pirates. "The more you look at it," he explained, "the more you write to the fact that this is a queer-positive world.""

Discussing piracy careers - "Something else that astounded Jenkins about pirates was "just how fast it all moved — their lives were quite short," he said. "Your career [in piracy] wasn't very long.""

Post 1x09 - 1x10

Decider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Kayla Cobb - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

Pitch for the show - "That was in the pitch," series creator David Jenkins told Decider. "That was the reason, to make them fall in love with each other."

About the romance - "The main thing to me was to side-step coming out," Jenkins continued. "I just want a romance. I want a Titanic romance between these two people. We don't have to do the coming out story and then the non-binary story for Jim [Vico Ortiz]."

About S2 and the show - "The show is the relationship," Jenkins said. "So, we end in a place where there is this breakup. What happens after a breakup between these two people who, one’s realized he's in love and the other one is hurt in a way that he's never been hurt before? What does that do to each of them in an action, pirate world with them trying to find each other again? So again, I really love those rom-com beats."

Collider - Mar 24, 2022 - with Carly Lane - Link

On making it a romcom - "It's the only reason to make the show. If you didn't do that, it would just be weird. I mean, you're using the rom-com beats. You're using these like they're together. And it's funny because so we're so habituated to be like bromance, bromance, bromance, and it's such a simple move to put them together."

Discusses focusing on romance - "I guess I really... I get kind of bored. How much pirate can you do? They're going to rob stuff. They're going to steal ships. There's only so many pirate stories you can do. So if you're going to do a workplace story, I mean, you're essentially having this... You'd have this same amount of relationships in Grey's Anatomy in the ER. So it's standard. It's the most standard. We're making a soap opera on a pirate ship, and to use those soap opera beats... I like it, and I like the flavor in a comedy when you have something that's played genuinely up against very ridiculous things."

Discusses history and kissing scene

Discusses importance of going home to Mary - "Yeah, that was the problem for me in the story. I knew that I wanted to have the end where he goes home, because you need to give Mary her day in court. I just wanted to know from Mary's perspective what happened and then to see that, yeah, they're friends."

Is Lucius dead? - "You got to wait."

EW.com - Mar 25, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link

David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, and Rhys Darby interview

Pitch for the show - "To me, [Stede and Blackbeard's relationship] is the reason to make the show," Jenkins explains. "When Taika and I were first talking about it, he was like, 'Oh yeah, that's the show.' I first started reading about Stede and how he befriended Blackbeard and we don't know why. Very quickly, it was like, 'Oh, it's a romance.'"

Polygon - Mar 25, 2022 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discusses 3-season intent - "I think three seasons is good. I think we could do it in three."

Discusses acts within S1 - "To me, when you see him get stabbed, and the blood runs through his fingers, it’s like 'Oh, no, the clown got stabbed! And not comedy-stabbed, he got stabbed stabbed!' That to me is cool. And then having Blackbeard find him as the end of what would be the first act of our story felt good to me."

Discusses kiss scene filming and the national moment around gay rights

What to focus on a rewatch - "I think Con O'Neill does such a great job. He's such a complex character, and it's such a tortured relationship. And that's a love story too, between him and Blackbeard. It's a very dysfunctional story, but it's fun to watch. Watch that maybe, on a rewatch, looking where their relationship ultimately goes."

TV Insider - Mar 25, 2022 - with Meaghan Darwish - Link

Discusses show pitch - "When I was pitching [the show] to people, I'd be like, 'Okay, so it's about Stede and Blackbeard, and then they hit it off and then they fall in love.' And then people are like, 'Okay, cool,' Jenkins shares. "And then they really fall in love, and become intimately involved."

Discusses historical inspiration

Discusses S2 direction - "But when [Stede] goes to find [Blackbeard], he's gone and his crew's been abandoned. And so watching them try to negotiate that, that's a good rom-com beat," he adds.

The Verge - Apr 15, 2022 - with Charles Pulliam-Moore - Link

Discusses being surprised by queerbaiting legacy - "...part of me knew that, yes, Stede and Ed's romance was going to be real. But one part of me felt like, 'We're going to do this story, and they're going to kiss, and maybe that's not even going to be that big a deal. Maybe it'll just be a blip.'"

Discusses writing romance - "I'd never written a romance before this one, but I think with Ed and Stede, the question's always 'what's the need for each other?'"

Discusses falling in love and Stede's accidental seduction - "It made sense to have that love be almost like a teenage version of falling in love — one with all these intense and conflicting feelings. They're middle-aged, but Stede's young. Ed's young. Emotionally, they're like 16, and they've both got a lot to learn."

Discusses Con O'Neill as Izzy - "He plays an exhausted quality that's really lovely because this character could just be generically evil, and the way Con plays, it is like, he's credible. I believe that he can do some damage if he wanted to. My favorite thing I've seen about the show is somebody saying that Con's playing the only human with a bunch of Muppets. It does feel like that a bit where he's like Charles Grodin in The Great Muppet Caper."

On Izzy being in love with Blackbeard - "I think Izzy's deeply in love with Blackbeard, and it's a very dysfunctional kind of love, and he's like the jilted spouse who's losing his man to fucking Stede Bonnet, and he can't believe this is happening."

Discusses masculinity and piracy as an escape from that

Discusses diversity and trauma based stories - "And the consensus in that very diverse room was that we wanted to show that isn't just wallowing in trauma. We don't have to do a coming out scene or focusing on the trauma of it — not to say that those stories aren’t valid."

Gizmodo - Jun 20, 2022 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Musing on fandom response to the show - "I'm wondering if the fact that because the queerness of this show isn't gaslighting the audience, and isn't a function of wanting to do something, but not being able to produce the results because of network standards. I think we just happened to be in this lucky spot where the show is actually queer… and I do think that people are responding to that."

Comparing fanfiction to writing - "And Con O'Neill's audition was one of those things I would go back to. I would watch that and be like… Oh, right, that's the show. And in a way, you're writing fanfiction for a certain actor and character because you want them to do something, and you're like–" at this point, it must be said, Jenkins let out a maniacal little giggle. He’s just as thrilled to show off Con O'Neill's ability to seem both deeply exhausted and menacing as the rest of the fandom. "And you [as the writer] you're like… And then Izzy does this now."

EW.com - Dec 13, 2022 - with Devan Coggan - Link

Discusses The Chain sequence - "I had initially wanted that end sequence to be like the FBI raid in a mob movie, where the feds come in, and they've got boxes of stuff, and everyone's running, and someone makes a dash for it," Jenkins explains. "So, it's like a mob movie or FBI raid story, and then it's also a story of Stede's lover coming back."

Pre-S2

Collider - Oct 2, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link

Discusses fan reaction to S1 - "I thought that they'd kiss, and people would be like, 'Oh, cool, cool!' I kind of thought people would know a little bit more [about] where we were going, but then in hindsight, no, people have been hurt and burned on so many other shows and then made to feel silly."

Discusses starting S2 dark - "One of these characters is very, very damaged and has never made himself vulnerable in this way before, and I don't think [he] would react very well to having his heart broken in this way. I don't think it would be cute, and I don't think it would be funny. I think it would be scary as hell to watch a very damaged guy that we've established in Ed, who killed his dad and thinks he's not capable of being loved, deal with rejection and see that Stede really hurt him."

Discusses adding more female characters

Discusses S2 needle drops including "This Woman's Work"

Discusses 3-season arc

Post 2x01 - 2x03

Mashable - Oct 5, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

Discusses fandom response to S1

About the canon gay relationship - "To watch the explosion of enthusiasm around [the kiss] was disorienting, almost," Jenkins said. "I thought people would react to it, but I didn't think the reaction would be that big. And then it was moving, because I didn't realize that this audience felt so unserved in general, as far as storylines go."

Insider - Oct 5, 2023 - with Ayomikun Adekaiyero - Link

Tease on leaning into the Stede / Ed / Izzy love triangle - "I think Izzy, in a certain way, got the worst deal in the first season," the showrunner tells Insider. "He gets jilted and then he still is in spurned spouse territory at the beginning of the second season."

Discusses Izzy's arc - "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other," he teases

Discusses addition of Zheng - "He likens Zheng's way of pirating to a successful tech startup, compared with the garage sale vibe Stede had going on the Revenge."

Discusses introducing Hornigold - "I thought Hornigold was the most obvious because he was the person who made Blackbeard what he is. And Blackbeard has a father complex, so it's natural that he's going to bring his former captain back," the show creator said. "It's a struggle with him because he and dad figures don't historically do well."

Discusses importance of the mermaid scene

Inverse - Oct 5, 2023 - with Hoai-Tran Bui - Link

Reveals he didn't commit to the romance until shooting 1x06 - "Jenkins always intended his pirate comedy to end with a romance, but he'd envisioned it as an unrequited love. "It was going to be about Stede learning what love is, and Ed making himself vulnerable and getting burned," Jenkins says of his original pitch. But Darby and Waititi's choices in the scene, which they played without diffusing the tenderness with a joke, made him wonder if they could take the show in a new direction."

Discusses mermaid Stede idea from S1 - "We talked about Stede as a mermaid very early on in the writers' room," Jenkins says. "At some point, yeah, I want to see Rhys Darby as a merman." + "They wanted us to come up with a Season 2 pitch during Season 1. And that was one of the ideas we hit on, and I can't quite remember how we got there, but it was us asking, what is a pirate world? Are there mermaids? Is there magic in this show? With pirate stuff, I don’t know that I want there to be magic, but there was a way where it was something really beautiful about a mer-person, and I like the idea that their coming together would have a mythic size to it."

Discusses historical divergence

Discusses matelotage and pirates as weird outsiders

TV Guide - Oct 5, 2023 - with Allison Piccuro - Link

About the shipping culture - "It's the meat of the show, so it's great to have people bought into the central romance. If it were a bromance that we were trying to make look like a romance, that would suck."

Discusses playlists he makes

Discusses opening dream sequence - "I just like that it started with something badass. Stede, Blackbeard, and Izzy are on an arc together. Whether they're in stories together or not, their ultimate arc is together. I think, by the end of this season, the last episode, that first scene will be gratifying. I won't say why, but their fates are tied together."

Discusses Kraken arc - "But I think the thing that's good about this show is that it can go to really sweet comedy land, but I want there to be, like, if someone loses a body part, for instance, they lose a body part. To do justice to the fact that this guy is a killer and a monster, and dealing with heartache that he doesn't know how to deal with, I think you really need to go there."

Discusses Izzy in S2 - "I mean, he's jilted. He had a partnership with Blackbeard, and he knows he can't live up to this person that Blackbeard fell in love with... Who is that guy? What are his hobbies? What does it look like when he's not totally subsumed with his boss's love affair with somebody, and heartbroken?"

On S2 reunion - "The second season is them being a little bit more mature... It's the thing where you're in your 20s or 30s and you're like, "Well, should we move in together?" They have to make up some time because neither of them have been in a functional relationship before."

About genre of pirate stories - "...is a show about multiple relationships. That's what I want to see when I see this show. I don't want to see a bunch of pirate things that I've seen in other things, I'll just go watch another thing if I want to see that. That's not really my thing. I like the genre, but it's a very hard genre to budge. I want to see relationships in a pirate world."

Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring

Mashable - Oct 7, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

About the mermaid scene - "You need something expressive for when they come back together," Jenkins said. "Their reunion moment has to feel big and mythical. This is not a world where mermaids actually exist, but their love for each other has that size that you can get [a mermaid] in there somewhere."

About Kate Bush - "I love Kate Bush, and I love that song, and I know Taika loves that song," Jenkins explained of the choice. "So I wanted to find a place for that song somewhere in the second season."

Polygon - Oct 9, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson & more - Link

Compares S2 and "Golden Age of Piracy" stuff to Westerns, lists 5 he was thinking of - "Every Western that’s good is that story," Jenkins says. "'This way of life we made is coming to an end. It can't last. It's a blip in time. We created this thing because we need it to exist. We're outlaws, and we need a culture that suits us, but it's running out of time.'"

Gizmodo - Oct 9, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Short tease on leaning into the love triangle

About Stede, Edward, and Izzy - "I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable," Jenkins said in an interview with io9. "And to watch Izzy try to process what's happened [in season one]… to watch him kind of grow and figure out what's his own story, if he can separate himself from this kind of toxic relationship, is interesting to me and I think gives him a lot of room for growth."

Post 2x04 - 2x05

IndieWire - Oct 12, 2023 - with Sarah Shachat - Link

Discusses directing and show creation

"The limitations of the show also naturally push it back towards moments with the ensemble and plot problems that it would frankly be irresponsible to tackle if you had a giant budget and a fully working ship-of-the-line to sail and then blow to bits. "That's the fun of the show to us, I think. If you open this up and you're like, unlimited budget, that would be terrible because I think you can get seduced," Jenkins said. "[It could be like,] 'Oh man, it's all leading up to a climatic battle on the sea.' And those things are great. But that’s not this show.""

"The nice thing about that, though, is you get to be the lo-fi show that’s like, 'Hey, we’re making The Muppets.'"

PopSugar - Oct 12, 2023 - with Victoria Edel - Link

About S2 Stede - "I like the idea that he learns and grows and he doesn't just stay a bumbling captain. He might be ridiculous, but he is getting better at it."

Discusses genre challenges - "How do you have a show that's a romance show but it's also a workplace show and they're criminals?"

Discusses Edward's redemption - "But Blackbeard still has to come back and apologize and be part of the community again, and give his little press conference. It was fun for us to look at that in the context of piracy, where they all do terrible things to each other. But even by their standards, what Blackbeard did was a bit much."

Discusses Izzy in S2 - "When Izzy shoots Blackbeard and they all mutiny on him, that's Izzy breaking up with Blackbeard. And they're both having their own journey in the wake of it, and Izzy's having his own redemption arc. He's trying to figure out, "Who am I if I'm not Blackbeard's first mate? Who am I outside of this relationship?"" + "If Stede's Spongebob, he's Squidward. I don't know what that makes Blackbeard. But there's a real pathos to Squidward."

Discusses trauma-based narratives - "As a diverse room in terms of sexuality, socio-economic background, and race, we thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a non-trauma-based story for these characters who don't get that historically?""

Variety - Oct 13, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link

Discusses three act structure and making Stede work for a relationship - "The way I like to look at a season is in threes. The end of the first act is when they find each other, and this is the beginning of the second act. They've found each other, but they are pissed. Stede thought it was going to be [Kate Bush's] “This Woman's Work,” but, in reality, it is this headbutt –– literally."

Discusses the central romance - "It was always part of the pitch... that is the reason to make the show. The pirate genre is fun, but I wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. Taika wasn’t dying to make a pirate show. But the thing that was interesting to me was that Stede finds love, and he finds it with Blackbeard."

Discusses 2x04 plot - "This episode is based on a very, very thumbnail sketch of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?." Anne and Mary are Martha and George, and they are Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton."

Discusses adding historical pirates

Discusses Buttons exit - "I just love the idea of him turning into a bird: I love the idea of Buttons somehow being the one character that is able to figure that out."

Discusses Izzy and the crew's trauma plot - "We liked the idea that there is something about trauma and getting past that trauma, even on a pirate ship. They have been through two very different ways of living and they have to get used to each other again. But it's also a family that was separated, and becoming one family again is painful."

Discusses bringing characters back - "We could bring Calico Jack back, who, if you remember, was hit by a cannonball last season. Anyone who is that fun to play with and wants to keep playing, you always find a way to bring them back."

Polygon - Oct 14, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discusses 3-season arc and how keeping them apart with some plot device was never in the cards - "at the end of the first season, they're 14-year-olds, emotionally. In this season, it's more like they’re in their late 20s."

Discussing New Zealand production and ensemble cast writing - "It's pretty organic, because as we're going through and tracking everybody's journey for the season, we're watching the thing that holds us together — what stage of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship are we in? Because the overarching arc is, are these guys going to learn how to settle into a relationship?"

"The second season is more overtly about romance, and more a relationship story."

Energizing aspect of fan reaction

S3 is about "love is work"

Gizmodo - Oct 16, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

About the story - "I want to see them become a functional couple or fail to become a functional couple," Jenkins said. "Those are the most interesting parts of the show."

Discusses fandom engagement - "...ultimately the writers are also "the fans in the room." He goes on to say that, "We're fans of the world. We're writing fanfic about our own characters, our own worlds… It's paid fanfic, but it's fanfic." He gives another example: "If you're writing a season of Succession, you're writing fanfic Succession. You're just getting paid to do it. We, as writers–" it's clear that he's not just talking about the writers in the writers room, "become fans of the world and we all have things we want to see these characters do. What we do is not that different."

Discusses the A Star is Born aspect of seeking fame / retiring

Discusses Zheng Yi Sao

Villains of the series - There are a lot of new villains this season, but, Jenkins says, ultimately, "the antagonist on this show is normalcy… These pirates have a way of life that they're not finding in normal life. They've found a way to live and support each other and be there for each other. And that's always threatened by these larger, tyrannical forces that want to shut them down."

Post 2x06 - 2x07

Mashable - Oct 19, 2023 - with Belen Edwards - Link

Discussing drag performance in 2x06

"It is nice to see with Izzy's arc, where he finally breaks through whatever he's been doing to himself. He lets himself have that moment, which I just love. It resonates for Izzy, and I think it resonates for Con. Just personally, it made me feel good to see how it turned out."

Consequence - Oct 19, 2023 - with Liz Shannon Miller - Link

Discusses intent for romance - "...telling a love story in a serialized medium like television has its perils, largely because it's tough to know how much you can draw out any unresolved tension. "I think we take it episode by episode and we try to not piss people off in taking too long and doing double beats and triple beats," Jenkins says. "You can only do Will They or Won’t They for so long. Then you have to deepen it.""

Discusses pirate setting - "The emphasis on relationships also fits into the show's high-seas setting, which Jenkins finds similar to post-apocalyptic narratives. "It is a little bit like you're doing Mad Max, except there's relationships," he says. "Stuff's shitty, so you gotta try to find some joy. Of course, people are going to have a need for each other in these extreme circumstances, and I like the idea of these characters finding some level of a healthy relationship in these extreme circumstances.""

Discusses Jim x Archie

Discusses 3-season arc

Polygon - Oct 21, 2023 - with Tasha Robinson - Link

Discussing gender and power dynamics in Jackie x Swede / Zheng x Oluwande / Blackbeard x Stede + A Star is Born aspect

Jim not being jealous of Oluwande - "I think that relationship was always seen in the room as a friend relationship that got romantic."

About adding a villain - "I think a lot of the internal forces in Our Flag are the villains." + "I think this is a story about the age of piracy coming to an end. This way of life is coming to an end. And every Western that's good is that story: This way of life we made is coming to an end, and it can't last. […] I think every story about outlaws is about trying to preserve a way of life against normative forces that are kind of fascistic."

Historical accuracy - "The balance of the show is 90% ignoring history, and then 10%, bring it in, whenever we're like, Ah, gotta move the story forward! Remember, the English are out there, and they're really bad!"

Post 2x08

AV Club - Oct 26, 2023 - with Saloni Gajjar - Link

Killing Izzy was always the plan - "We wanted to show the depth of that character. Izzy is one of my favorites. He's like middle management who is in a sort of love triangle [in season one]."

Discusses how they really wanted the happy ending for S2 - "I think with season one's end, it was a gamble to leave it the way it was. Everybody stomached through it. Now if it turned out they didn't want us to make more, I just didn't want to have another story where the same-sex love story ends in tragedy, unrequited love, or if one or both of them are being punished."

Discusses S2 progressing the 3-season romance - "They’re a couple who is like in their late twenties right now as opposed to being teens at the end of season one." + "It was an interesting tension of, which one gives up their dream? A lot of times in relationships questions can come up, like who is going to give up on their dream to take care of the kids? Obviously, no one wants to, but someone ends up giving up more than they want to at some point. What's wonderful about a mature romance, and what I'd want to see more of in season three, is Ed and Stede making these tough decisions." + progressing past the getting together point

Discusses parallels, Republic of Pirates, and Zheng Yi Sao

Short bit about fan response

Collider - Oct 26, 2023 - with Carly Lane - Link

Discusses Ed leaving fishing - "I like that he had a little prima donna moment where he thought he could go and be a simple man, and then it's revealed that he really isn't a simple man; he's a complicated, fussy, moody guy. No, he's not gonna be able to catch fish for a living. For him to be told that, "At your heart, you're a pirate. You have to go back and do it," he doesn't want that to be true, but it was true."

Discusses Izzy's speech to Ricky - "I wanted to give Izzy a proper eulogy for himself. He gives a eulogy for himself, but it felt true writing it."

Discusses Izzy's death scene - "In a way, it's very much for Ed, that speech. The "we were Blackbeard" is claiming that he is also Blackbeard, that Blackbeard is not just Ed’s creation, and I like that for him, too, because he's worked so hard for that — and then just to say, "You can give it up." There can never be a Blackbeard again as far as Izzy's concerned because he's dying, and they did that together."

Discusses Republic of Pirates / music parallels from premier to finale

Discusses finale wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the season, which is the real term they had for marrying crew members. And yeah, they've always been in relief to Stede and Ed, and they're a little bit ahead of Stede and Ed in how much they can talk about things. So to have a bunch of family things in the season, like a funeral and a wedding, and have the parents kind of watch the kids sail away, felt right, and all of those things seem to work well together and build on each other."

Discusses retirement ending - "That will-they-or-won't-they is interesting to a point, but the real meat of it is always like, "Can they make the relationship, and can they do better than Anne and Mary?""

"Frenchie's in charge of the Revenge" + teases Stede struggling to give it up

EW.com - Oct 26, 2023 - with Devan Coggan - Link

Discusses Izzy's death and telling Con - "It feels like the logical end of Izzy's arc. It's heartbreaking to me because he's my favorite." + "I told him in the middle of shooting because I didn't want him to find out at the table read, obviously. I also didn't want it to leak. He was lovely about it."

Discusses Izzy's final arc - "You know, I didn't expect him to become kind of a father figure to Ed. I think we hit on that while we were breaking the [final] episode. He's in such a weird position: He's like a jilted lover, and then he's a middle manager who has to work for a terrible boss. He gets thrown away, and then he comes back. He really develops, and he becomes a part of this family. I think the biggest surprise was the extent that he was a mentor to Ed. They were both Blackbeard. They both made Blackbeard happen."

Discusses the happy ending intent - "With this season starting so dark, I kind of wanted to reward them for the work that they've done and the character growth that they've had. I wanted to leave them in a place where they're really going to try and make this work. I don't think it's going to be easy for them, necessarily. They're both still immature."

Discusses the wedding - "We knew we wanted a matelotage in the second season, and pretty quickly we landed on Lucius and Black Pete. It seems like they were ready for that. We made up a ceremony and everything, where they call each other mateys, and it was just fun to make our own version of a pirate wedding ceremony."

Discusses potential S3 and Frenchie's Revenge - "But it felt like a good place to end the second season. It felt like a contrast to the first season. If it turns out we don't make any more, I'm comfortable with that being a resting place."

Variety - Oct 26, 2023 - with Hunter Ingram - Link

S3 endpoint - "I love things in threes," he says. "That first act, second act, third act structure is so satisfying when it is done well, and you don't overstay your welcome. I think this world of the show is a big world, and if the third season is successful, we could go on in a different way. But I think for the story of Stede and Ed, that is a three-season story."

Discusses the draw of a "Golden Age" and it's ending

Talks about father figure Izzy and wanting a real sense of loss - "There is a nice parallel to have Ed treat him so badly at the beginning of the season and then come all the way around to where Izzy is this sort of father figure he doesn’t want to lose — because Ed usually kills his father figures."

Gizmodo - Oct 26, 2023 - with Linda Codega (io9) - Link

Teasing future Izzy - "Jenkins looked slightly sad himself, saying that "Ghosts exist in this world." I told him not to make promises he couldn't keep."

"Jenkins said that he doesn't see Izzy as a pure antagonist in season one because on some level… Izzy was right in his hesitations about Stede."

Discussing Con O'Neill & Rhys Darby acting

Jenkins confirms the season was always 8 episodes due to budget cuts

About S2 finale vs S3 - "The first season ends on such a downer, so it made sense to end the second season in a kinder spot." + "I think there's plenty of story left for season three, but I think that it was important to end this as if it was the end of the show, and on upbeat note and avoid the kind of "kill your gays" trope. I don't want to see Stede and Ed punished for giving it a go. I want to see them really say, 'yeah, we’re going to we're going to try to have a relationship'."

Teases S3 revenge against Ricky and going to the Americas

Vanity Fair - Oct 26, 2023 - with Sarah Catherall - Link

About the ending - "It's bittersweet. There's death and there's the rebirth of Stede and Blackbeard's relationship; there's a funeral, there's a wedding, and the idea that this family is going to keep fighting even as they lose members. And then it's about belonging to something." + "A lot of times, with this narrative of characters, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it's unrequited or it's unrealized; something horrible happens and they're punished in a way. So it was important to leave it open and a lot more show to go, but also leave it in a place where it's happy."

Discusses Izzy as a mentor / father figure - "We felt like Izzy's story had reached its conclusion, where we put him through enough. And then there was the realization that he is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard." + "And it's also a pirate show, so he's got to die."

Discusses filming challenges - "It's a big show; it's basically a one-hour show that we're doing on a half-hour budget."

Discusses adding Zheng Yi Sao

Is the show a queer romance? - "For this show, it's important to me just to write a really bold-bodied romantic show that happens to be between two characters of the same sex. I think that the story beats don't matter, because if you've been in love and you've been hurt and you met someone you love—hopefully we all know what those feelings are."

Blackbeard's arc in S2 - "...the second season is about Blackbeard's midlife crisis. And then when they both have their midlife crises, they can open a B&B together." + "I don't think Stede and Blackbeard are ready to be married. They're emotionally saying: 'Let's give this a go.'"

Discusses historical piracy as "counterculture" that's been straightwashed and whitewashed

Did he feel responsibility to the fan community? - "As opposed to responsibility, it feels more like relief—that people feel seen and they feel good about it and they liked what we did. And so it feels like, Okay, somebody's out there and wants the show. The makeup of the writers room looks a lot like the makeup of the fan base. So as long as we're true to our stories in the writers room, I think we just feel excited that there's somebody waiting on the other end to enjoy it."

Paste Magazine - Oct 26, 2023 - with Tara Bennett - Link

Discusses whether fandom expectations felt weighty - "I think particularly for this season, that "bury your gays" thing… I didn't want to end on a downbeat for Ed and Stede. We did that in the first season. I like that there's a lot of different flavors. It's even a little melancholy because the Republic of Pirates got blown up. But there's still more good things."

Discusses production and plotting - "I wanted to start at the Republic of Pirates this season and end at the Republic of Pirates. And I knew I wanted the Republic of Pirates to be destroyed, ultimately. Within that, we are making a one-hour show on a half hour budget, on a half hour schedule."

Discusses planning the ending - "In terms of ending this season, it all felt right just in talking through it when we were in the room. It felt pretty intuitive. When you get to the third act of the story, things kind of settle in. There's gonna be a funeral. We always knew we wanted a wedding at the end of the second season. And I knew that I wanted Stede and Ed to start an inn together. So once you have those beats, it's kind of locked in."

Discusses Izzy's arc - "It's kind of a strange arc in that I knew we were going to put him through all these things, and I knew he would ultimately die. But I think him becoming a father figure to Ed in the last episode didn't really dawn on us until we were breaking the last episode. Asking what would this man say to Ed at the end because they've been together through everything? He went from a troubled and downtrodden employee to a jilted lover to a discarded employee, to someone that is just trying to find his footing again—no pun intended—to actually becoming this guy's parental figure on some level. And he's one person who kind of raised Ed right, because Blackbeard usually kills his parental figures. So, it felt right and it felt like that's how the mentor dies. The mentor in a story usually dies in the second act and then our hero has to go on and try to do it without them. It felt like the right journey for Izzy and a gratifying one for Con."

On leaving open for S3 - "I don't think it was a very hard thing to do. I think it was more that I felt a responsibility to leave Ed and Stede in a good place, at least for now. It's not gonna go well. They're not going to run a business well. Ed's too much of a talker. Stede can't focus. It's gonna be challenging."

Vulture - Oct 28, 2023 - with Sophie Brookover - Link

Discussing Izzy as a "father figure" and his S2 send-off being a priority

Meaning of piracy - "...what our pirates stand for is a life of belonging to something larger than they are in the face of a crushing, slightly fascist normalcy."

Re: Con O'Neill & Izzy's death - "I had to tell him about halfway through the season"

Third season about the work of a relationship between still damaged main characters

Discusses middles as about change and transitions, and wanting characters to change instead of reset, have them experience permanent consequences

About the final scene - "...Ed and Stede as the parents kind of watching the kids take the ship. Frenchie's the captain now..."

Objective of the crew - "...have had terrible things happen to them at the hands of colonial forces, so they want some payback. Party, plunder, and payback — the three P's."

Metro Weekly - Nov 1, 2023 - with Randy Shulman - Link

Discusses historical premise of S1 and easing into the romance

Discusses S2 genre - "In the second season, it was great because we know it's a romance and we can lead with that. It's a workplace show essentially. I wanted it to be more in the vein of early episodes of Grey's Anatomy or something where there are all these relationships on those shows. That's what you’re following — relationships and friendships that are taking place in a hospital, procedural. That's Grey's Anatomy. This is less procedural for the pirate stuff — and you need the pirate stuff."

Discusses not being into pirates - "But I'm like you. I'm not a big pirate person. In general, it's a big creaky genre that's hard to budge" + "Pirates of the Caribbean, those movies are great. That's not necessarily what I hunger to see, but in that genre, it's great. You're not going to beat that, especially on something that's lower budget. We've seen a lot of this stuff, so it's fun to take it then and don't do any of that stuff."

Discusses adapting historical piracy - "You don't want to see them punch down. You don't want to see them do terrible things to people who don't deserve it, which is not what they really did. So, in the show's world, I think piracy is like a stand-in for something. I think it's a stand-in for being an iconoclast and an outsider and queer in some ways and just different." + "Yeah, I mean, the British are there to be Stormtroopers, or Nazis in an Indiana Jones movie. I mean, they're in there to die essentially."

Discusses diversity staffing

Discusses performative masculinity

Discusses Izzy's death, happy endings, and openness to S3

[gothamite-rambler]

Anime Talk

Context: Red Robin and Signal were on a stakeout mission with Arsenal (Roy Harper). The night was slow, so Duke and Tim began chatting about an anime. Duke was a huge anime fan, and he made it clear that slander against anime would not be tolerated.

Signal and Robin had been discussing an anime called Fullmetal Alchemist for the past twenty minutes after an hour of tedious surveillance, watching a building from a distance and waiting for the signal to strike. Arsenal sat on the ground, contemplating whether he should have informed the sitter about Lian wanting a glass of water before bed.

Signal: I'm telling you, Edward should've killed the man. What he did to his daughter and his dog was messed up. The man did this twice, mind you. Edward should've shoved that medal down his throat. Why did Scar get the kill?

Red Robin: Because Elric knew it would be wrong.

Signal (incensed): He turned his daughter into a Chimera! He did the same to his wife! None of them deserved that, but the father deserved to choke on that medal!

Red Robin (shrugging): That doesn't mean he can react with murder. Elric knew he would regret it.

Signal (dismissive): See, if that was me—without the Signal persona—I would!

As the two heroes continued to debate this anime, Arsenal, who sat to the side with his bow resting on his lap, turned his attention to the conversation.

Arsenal (confused): What are you guys yapping about?

Signal (enthusiastic): Fullmetal Alchemist. Roy, weigh in on this. I think Edward should've killed Alexander. This dummy thinks Scar was the one who had the right to do it. What's your opinion?

Red Robin (insulted): Why am I the dummy here?

Signal (pointing): You're only saying Edward shouldn't kill him because he's the token good guy character. And mind you, I like Edward.

Arsenal (sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose): Arsenal. Call me Arsenal.

Signal glanced at Red Robin, who nodded with a shrug. Signal rolled his eyes but respected the man's request.

Signal (addressing Arsenal): Arsenal, my bad. Who do you think should've had the kill?

Arsenal (confused): Is this from a show?

Signal: Yeah, “anime” is the better word to call it.

Arsenal (in a condescending tone): You guys are talking about a cartoon, and that's what you want me to weigh in on?

Signal (exasperated): Yeah, it's a slow night. It’s not just a cartoon either, but I’ll give you a pass; it’s a common mistake. Fullmetal Alchemist is the best anime ever. I'm surprised you haven't watched it.

Arsenal rolled his eyes.

Red Robin: Fullmetal being the best is debatable. JoJo is top tier.

Signal (sneering): That's such a basic take.

Red Robin (crossing his arms with a smirk): A well-written and fun anime being top tier? Can’t get more basic than that.

Signal (defensive): Why do you have to pick the weirdest animes you think are better than Fullmetal?

Red Robin (smiling): I like variety; anime gives me that.

Arsenal groaned, snapping his fingers to pause the conversation.

Arsenal (frustrated): Hey, guys, this is an… enthralling conversation, but we are in the middle of a stakeout! And you're talking about cartoons!

Signal (insulted): Anime! Why are you saying that like it's a bad thing?

Arsenal (rolling his eyes): Correction: "Japanese cartoons." I swear I regret agreeing to team up with you. I thought you'd be normal, but I should've picked Orphan.

Signal (fake eager tone): Oh, okay, we got a non-anime fan. All right, I'll play along.

Red Robin (amused and not wanting to intervene): Be cool; don't go there.

Signal (tight smile): I'm good. I simply want to hear this man's reasoning for being a critique of a fantastic medium.

Arsenal (indifferent): It's just something I could never get into. High school girls dressed weirdly and strange cartoons with tentacles never interested me, and this was before I got into drugs, so that's saying a lot.

Signal (disgusted): What kind of anime were you watching? We are cultured anime fans—well, I am. Robin is a bit too welcoming of weird animes.

Red Robin (mumbling): Stuff like JoJo, Konosuba, and Devil is a Part-Timer are what I like. Again, variety.

Arsenal: This is the most inane situation I've been in. All anime is stupid, boring, or weird—in my opinion—and people who watch it are weird—

Arsenal's rant was interrupted when suddenly he was punched by Signal, knocking him to the ground. Red Robin covered his mouth in shock as Signal stared at his fist, equally surprised he did that, but not regretting it.

Arsenal (shocked): What the hell?!

Signal (composed): I'm sorry. My reaction was overblown, but when people talk badly about anime, it becomes an automatic response. It's like my fists have a mind of their own. Didn’t even hurt—cool.

Red Robin (smirking): You kind of had that coming, Arsenal.

Arsenal (trying not to shout to blow their cover): He hit me in the jaw for an opinion!

Signal (scolding): No, an opinion doesn't mean I have to agree with it, but we could've agreed to disagree. When you start being a judgmental jerk about people who watch anime, nah—you get a sore jaw.

Red Robin (nodding in agreement): You're lucky that's all he did. The last guy got knocked unconscious.

Signal (shrugging): Don’t insult Sailor Moon; the creator of that show set out to portray magical girls fighting bad guys. Are the sailor suits weird? Yes, but it's not a show for creeps. He just didn't understand that.

Arsenal (rubbing his jaw): You watch Sailor Moon?

Red Robin: Arsenal, you should stop talking unless you want to fight him. Jason isn't here, and I will not protect you.

Signal nodded, raising his fist.

Signal: And I’m still learning my powers; anything can happen. You could end up dazed or limping. I might even put my whole fist down your throat if you talk shit about anime again. You don’t have to like it; we all have our differences, but be respectful. Because I don't play—I was raised in the Bronx before working for Batman.

Arsenal sighed, annoyed, but he decided to follow Robin's advice and be civil, staying out of the anime talk.

Arsenal: I seriously thought anime stopped being popular years ago, but whatever, dude—I'm sorry. You clearly like this stuff, so continue your conversation about Japan—anime. I'll continue being the lookout and rubbing my bruised jaw.

Arsenal stood up and walked a few feet away. Signal gave him a thumbs up, then resumed his anime discussion with Red Robin, switching over to Dragon Ball and debating who was actually the strongest fighter and if Krillin deserves more respect.

[chxmpagneprxblem]

Chapter One

“I don’t know, I just kind of let her do her thing. I love the girl but she’s kind of a lost cause.” You shrugged and Leah looked up to where Bella and Jake were chatting in the booth opposite them.

“You don’t think it’s weird? That she goes from screaming nightmares to as normal as she gets in a few weeks?” Leah asked and you could only shrug again.

You couldn’t lie and tell her you knew how Bella’s brain worked. Your sister was a mystery to you as much as your mother always had been. You supposed you had been lucky when Renee lost the fight against the temptation to leave and could only mentally cope with one child. The quiet one.

Not to say you had been in any way wild. You had just been older. Set in routine and able to voice your opinion. And your opinion was that your dad was your favorite. A fact Renee never liked.

So every summer you trekked to Arizona where Bella and Renee had ended up and spent two weeks with them only to trek back down with Bella so she could spend her time with Charlie.

It had never been a particularly enjoyable time for either of you. So when Bella packed up and moved to Forks you had already expected to have distance between you both. Adding Edward Cullen to the mix only made things worse.

You could never have expected Bella to shack up with Cullen, much less go batshit insane over him. You would never forgive your sister for the torment she was putting Charlie through every day she grieved a dumb high school fling.

So you escaped her. Escaped her zombified state in the damn chair in her bedroom. Leah had been your saving grace. Harry and Charlie had shoved you both together as kids and the bond had stuck, bringing you to their door whenever you couldn’t stomach looking at Bella.

Although heartbreak was still prominent in the Clearwater home, at least Leah had a reason to be so cut up. Sam and her had plans. They had been together for years. Not a matter of months like Bella and Edward.

You couldn’t help but wonder had you and Bella been raised together would you offer her the support you so readily gave to Leah. “I think she’s found a new boy to focus on.”

Leah tilted her head from side to side as she considered your answer. You didn’t really believe the idea yourself but it was strange, how completely Jacob had turned your sister’s mental breakdown into a memory.

“The kid must have game.” Leah said and you snorted in laughter, your milkshake dribbling pathetically down your chin. “You’re disgusting, you freak.”

“You’re the one thinking weird thoughts about a kid!” You argued and Leah only rolled her eyes. “Gonna have to warn my dad what you’re up to.”

“Shut up, haven’t you got work? Those tents ain’t gonna sell themselves.” She teased and you looked at your watch before sighing.

“Cause you ain’t got a boat to be fixing with your dad, little Ms Nepo Baby.” You scoffed, shoving your way out of the booth. “You think she even noticed I was here?”

“Ah, the nepotism of the boat rental business. A true life of luxury.” Leah knocked you with her elbow. “She hasn’t noticed you once her life. Why would she start today?”

Your smart reply for Leah died on your tongue when three tall shirtless men entered the diner, staring off to the side. Leah dropped her head, her long hair falling to cover her face.

You scoffed, side stepping Paul LaHote with a scowl. Less than a year ago Paul was a minor annoyance for Sam. Someone he had a rivalry with in high school. Now they were best friends and Sam had dropped Leah and picked up her cousin. It was enough to sour your good mood.

“Don’t.” Leah grabbed your wrist when you paused. She knew you wanted to give Sam another piece of your mind. She had stopped letting you when you almost ran him over at the beach a few weeks before.

You rolled your eyes before turning to glare at Sam one last time but Paul moved between you both, staring you down in challenge. You’d like to think you won when his jaw fell slack and he stumbled against the table.

“Fuck those guys.” You huffed once Leah had dragged you out the door. “Hope they catch a cold.”

“Damn killer, take it easy. Not a cold.” Leah laughed but it was strained. “Go to work. Earn enough money so I can quit my job and become a stay at home best friend.”

“Best friend? You’re not even in my top three.” Her laugh was less strained when you both parted ways and you blew her a kiss across the car lot, smiling when she pretended to bat it away.

…

“Can you watch my lane for a few?” You looked up from the schedule you had been trying to organize and blinked at Mike who was trying to look a lot more innocent than he was.

“A few? Like say, ten minutes?” You asked and he shrugged. “Or enough time for me to realize you’re skipping the last thirty minutes of your shift?”

“I’ll do a double next Friday to bail you out if you let me go now?” He offered and you sighed.

“Your name is above the door, kid. I don’t care if you cut or not. Ain’t like I can fire you.” You shrugged and locked your computer.

“Awh, don’t be like that. Dad would quicker fire me and adopt you if he thought Charlie wouldn’t notice. Best assistant manager he’s ever had apparently.” You laughed and shooed Mike out the door, heading for his lane which had conveniently cashed up and gotten ready to hand over.

Friday night wasn’t typically busy in the store. Not many people needed last minute hiking attire for the weekend and so you had time to finish up the schedule that had been bothering you and change the displays in the store windows before you were interrupted by a customer.

Not just a customer though, your sister.

“Everything okay?” You asked her warily. Talking to Bella in the last three months was almost like talking to a wall if the wall had the ability to start screaming at a pitch only dogs could hear.

“Just looking for some new boots.” She hummed and you nodded slowly, pointing her in the direction she needed.

You weren’t entirely sure why she’d need hiking boots. Bella and the outdoors weren’t exactly well acquainted.

And yet she reappeared with the boots and shelled out the cash for them with barely an extra word. To an outsider it would be impossible to tell you knew each other, never mind that you were sisters.

You watched her leave and huffed a sigh. You’d mention it to Charlie in passing. See if he knew why she suddenly wanted to hike with all the recent bear spottings in the woods.

…

Jared was laughing. His whole body shook with it, so much so that Paul could feel the vibrations from where he paced in Sam’s back garden. He’d been stuck as a wolf for almost an hour now because every time he calmed down Jared would piss him off again.

“The only person-“ a fit of laughter interrupted Jared trying to make his point. “The only one that hates us more than Leah and you imprint on her.”

Paul dove for Jared and once again Sam got between them. Paul growled at Sam, backing off once more. He was going to be stuck as a wolf forever at this rate.

Jared controlled himself enough to phase and all three of them padded into the woods.

So what are you gonna do?

Paul sighed at Jared’s question, dropping down to his belly and putting his paws over his eyes as if it would quell the urge to go and look for her.

You need Billy or Harry on your side. It’s your only hope.

Paul lifted his head and looked at Sam who was watching Paul carefully where he lay in the dirt.

Why them?

Charlie, Billy and Harry raised those girls together. You remember how attached Rachel, Rebecca and Leah were with her. Those men will know how to get you in her good books.

Paul considered Sam’s words and huffed a sigh when he realised he had no other choice. If he wanted to get to know you then something drastic had to change.

…

Harry laughed until he was bowed over and then told him to go away. Paul understood, things were less than amicable between the pack and Leah which in turn affected Harry’s ability to help when he didn’t feel he was needed.

It was still fucking annoying.

So Paul found himself sitting at Billy Black’s kitchen table and telling the whole story from start to finish. When he relayed the last detail he sat back and watched Billy process everything.

“You boys can never do anything the easy way.” Billy sighed and ran a hand over his face. “She might hate the wolves more than even Leah. She considers that girl her sister. And watching the hurt Leah suffered because of the imprint bond, well it changed things.”

“I will do anything Billy. Just to be able to have a five minute conversation with her. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t seen her.” Paul sighed, his exhaustion ringing out in every word he spoke.

“Well, we need to plan carefully-“

The front door opened after a short knock and Paul held his breath when your voice called out for Jacob and then Billy.

“Hey, old man. Where’s your kid?” You turned the corner and paused when you took in the scene in front of you. Paul could’ve cheered when you didn’t immediately glare at him.

“He and Bella went out early. I don’t know where. Why do you need him?” Billy didn’t acknowledge that Paul was in the room and he was grateful because it gave him a chance to just watch you, absorb all the details he had missed before.

“My car is doing that stupid thing again. The gear shift keeps getting jammed in reverse.” You sighed and Paul raised his eyes to the heavens above and thanked every spirit there was.

“I could have a look at that, if you need?” He offered quietly and you looked him over, blinking as if just remembering he was here.

“You?” Paul didn’t know if the disbelief was because he dared speak to you or because you doubted his ability.

“I uh, pick up a shift or two in the garage just off the Rez. If you can spare the afternoon I can bring it up now and fix it?” Paul wasn’t sure when he turned into this quiet, meek man. He hadn’t been unsure of himself in a long time.

“I’ve got work. This afternoon.” You explained and Paul shrugged.

“I’ll head up there with you? Take the truck back to the garage and have it back to you before your shift is over.” Paul tensed every muscle in his body and begged the spirits to keep his luck moving.

“Jake won’t be back until after dark. They’ve been doing this for days.” Billy encouraged and Paul could’ve kissed the old man. Instead he vowed to serve him for eternity.

“You’re sure you can fix it today?” You asked and Paul released a breath. “Cause I can just wait for Jake if it’ll take you too long.”

“Two hours, three at a push.” You considered his answer before glancing at the clock on the wall and back to Paul.

“Are you ready to go now, then? I’ve got work in forty minutes.” Paul jumped out of his chair and it clattered to the ground causing everyone to flinch.

“Sorry. Sorry.” He picked the chair up and smiled sheepishly at you. “I’m ready when you are.”

[bookshelfdreams]

Hey I like a lot of the takes you have regarding the pirate show so I wanted to ask for your opinion on smth that's been bothering me for a while:

I have a deep seated dislike for Hamilton. Twinkifying the fucking founding fathers, romanticizing slave abusers and overall villainizing the wrong people while others (Hamilton at the front naturally) gets sung at. Speaking of singing - I really hate it. Shipping (i want to repeat) the founding fathers, the blatant white washing bla bla bla. Anyway those are all known problems and better people have said it smarter before and that isn't really my point

It's the fact that a friend of mine recently brought up that Ofmd pretty much is the same and I shouldn't scream so loud in my glass house. Inaccurate historically speaking, the blatant ignoring of the slave owning that the real Stede and Edward did and so on and so forth. Minus the singing perhaps if we ignore Frenchies and Izzys

So. Does it make me a hypocrite to like ofmd so much but despise the mere mention of Hamilton? It's a thing I'm really stressed about lately and that kind of ruined my joy about finally getting season 2. I would love to hear your opinion. or that of your followers for that matter.

Thank you 😊

oh thank YOU because I do feel that this is an interesting thing to examine and we do not talk about it enough.

I have never seen Hamilton, or listened to the songs (except some snippets). I have never been involved in the fandom. I really, really can't speak to what the musical itself did wrong and right. But I will say this: There was a reason it got as popular and received the critical acclaim that it did. I can't speak to how it addresses the systemic injustice baked into the USA from the very beginning, and I do have a suspicion that it glosses over a lot of uncomfortable truths. But I also feel it is important that we divorce the source material from the fandom it spawns because ultimately, Miranda isn't responsible for Hatsune Miku Binder Jefferson, or the whole hivliving debacle.

Just as David Jenkins isn't responsible for the handwaving of slavery in fanworks, or the great Izzy Hands Debate, or whitewashing in fanart, or shitty, racist headcanons of the characters of colour, or whatever deranged scandal is yet to come to light. This is true for all fandoms; criticizing fandom dynamics is a very different conversation from criticizing the canon.

Let's focus on the canon here, though, because defending the fandom is pointless, and not something I want to do. Curate your experience.

The first thing to say is: If you like ofmd but don't like Hamilton, that's not hypocritical at all, that's first and foremost a matter of taste. Things are good when we like them and bad when we don't. We don't have to find objective reasons for it.

If the fact that the historical Stede Bonnet was a slaveowner, and the historical Blackbeard also participated in the slave trade, are dealbreakers for someone, that's valid. People have every right to be uncomfortable with that. The conversation could end at this point, if we want it to (I don't because I love to hear myself talk).

If we look at the historical figures a little closer the first stark difference is the cultural context in which they exist. The founding fathers seem to be extremely mythologized in the american consciousness but also, are understood to be real historical people. The founding myth is fundamental to the way in which the USA perceives itself (that is, as a beacon of freedom and democracy), and it's pretty hard to reconcile that with the bloodshed and human misery it was founded on. It's uncomfortable; and it's not just an American problem. Every western nation/former colonial power has quite literal corpses in their closets they'd rather not talk about (just so you don't think I'm getting on a high horse about the famed Erinnerungskultur here; go ask a german person about Lothar von Trotha and what he did to the Nama and Herero to receive a blank stare). The difference is, that the founding fathers are too prominent and too important to just not talk about, so instead, they are sanitized to a degree that can be straight up historical revisionism.

That's not Miranda's fault. Nor is it the fault of any one particular piece of historical fiction, biography, documentary, or what have you. But it is the context in which Hamilton exists and, from what I understand, a culture to which it contributes. Especially since it's based on a biography of the real Alexander Hamilton, and (again, to my understanding) claims to tell a more or less accurate story.

Pirates, on the other hand, are perceived completely differently. They are mythologized, but not for ideological reasons, not as state-building propaganda. Pirates are more like folk heroes; cultural icons (near) completely divorced from whatever historical figure once lived. They are "real" in the sense that they are based on real people, but engaging with them, from the start, has a layer of removal from reality that engaging with figures like the founding fathers hasn't. Blackbeard is from a saga. George Washington is from history.

ofmd, specifically, makes clear at every turn that what we are told is a fictional story that has very little to do with any real events. It's openly anachronistic, it has absurd internal logic. Life-threatening injuries are walked off. There's actual magic. Dinghies are treated like spawn points in a video game. Everything, from the costumes to the vernacular to the story beats, tells the audience that none of this is real.

You wouldn't accuse, idk, A Knight's Tale, or Mel Brooks's Men In Tights of whitewashing history. I feel like ofmd plays in a similar league; it's a comedy very vaguely based on history, and it makes sure the audience knows we are not about to be told anything true. If you watch ofmd, you know this isn't about the real, historical Stede Bonnet or Edward Teach.

So. Let's examine the actual story, yes? The story that is told here is anticolonialist, antiracist, and challenges oppressive power structures as much as is possible for a production like this. It addresses these things and condemns them, both explicitly and in its underlying message. (I'm not gonna explain all of this, enough ink has been spilled about it by people smarter than me)

I do not know what Hamilton is about at its core. I know Our Flag Means Death is about authenticity in the face of the whole world telling you there's something wrong with you. It's about resisting dehumanization and reclaiming your personhood. It's about love, in a radical, system-destroying way, about breaking the cycle of abuse, about healing, and finding joy.

Yes, the real historical figures it's based on were all horrible people. Again, if that's a dealbreaker, that's fine. I'm not trying to convince anyone who is deeply uncomfortable with that fact; it's perfectly understandable.

However, for me, personally, the story as a whole is so far removed from reality, and so firm in its message, that I feel this is forgivable.

(Oh, and a lat aside, I also feel like likening ofmd to Hamilton seldom seems to come from a place of genuine criticism. Often it seems to be more along the lines of "Hamilton is cringe, and if I say ofmd=Hamilton ppl will be too embarrassed to defend it" which yk. feels kinda disingenuous to me.)

[joezworld]

Christmas Story

The next day

Bear was called away to work around the harbor for the rest of the afternoon, but that night he got an earful from BoCo!

“How.” He began. “Do you put up with him?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Bear, he’s a bellend! Have you not noticed?” 

Even having dealt with Truro that same day, Bear still was surprised. “He barely said three words to me, and then was quite rude, but-”

“But nothing! You couldn’t have extracted a good word out of him with pliers and penetrating oil! Every word he said was complain complain complain and then blame me for it! If he’s the pride of the Great Western, you lot can keep him!” 

BoCo was in such a state that he outright refused to sleep anywhere in Tidmouth, and left on the back of Edward’s last commuter train. 

That night, with BoCo gone and the other diesels elsewhere on the island, Bear had the diesel shed to himself. He fell asleep, a grim expression on his face. I must speak to Truro tomorrow. 

----

Tomorrow

“I’m sorry,” Truro cut Bear off mid-sentence. “But I don’t recall asking for your opinion on my actions, so shut your mouth, and remember that you are to be seen as little as possible, and heard even less.” 

Bear couldn’t begin to process this, and proceeded in flabbergasted silence all the way to Arlesburgh. 

-

Arlesburgh

Oliver watched as Truro was spun on the turntable. 

Well, actually, he wasn’t watching Truro…

“Bear…” He said gently. “Do you feel alright?” 

Bear certainly didn’t look alright. He looked altogether shell-shocked, and his driver was poking inside a hatch cautiously. “I dunno wha’s wrong with him. ‘E jus’ won’t rev high. Might have t’ call the fitters down here.”

“Oh goodness me!” Truro called from the turntable. “Are we experiencing some mechanical troubles? Is there anything I can do about it?”

Fire shot out of Bear’s exhaust stack, and his engine abruptly revved all the way to the maximum, before settling back down to a normal level. His driver dropped the lid on the hatch and scrambled back with a shout. The Diesel’s eyes abruptly snapped into focus, and for a singular moment, Oliver could see hatred buried deep in The Diesel’s pupils. 

He wheeshed steam, in the reflexive manner he’d learned from a long year of hiding and running, and then The Diesel looked at him and - 

The look faded out of Bear’s eyes as quickly as it had arrived, and Oliver was left to wonder if he’d imagined the whole thing. 

“I’m sorry Oliver,” Bear said in his usual soft manner. “I must not have slept enough last night. Did you say something?”

“I was just… wondering if you’re feeling alright.” Oliver tried to get his own steam pressure under control, lest he pop a safety valve. 

Something else colored Bear’s eyes for just a moment, and it was somewhat relieving to see that it was good, old-fashioned annoyance. “I… I don’t know how to say this, but… does- have I…” He paused. “Does Truro have reason to think ill of me? Have I done something to annoy him?”

“I don’t think so?” Oliver was surprised. A problem with Truro was about as far from what he’d been expecting as anything. “Why do you say that?” 

“Because he certainly acts in a way that implies that.” Bear was gritting his teeth! “And it wasn’t just me - BoCo has quite the opinion of him after yesterday.”

“I-” Whatever it was that Oliver was going to say - and it wasn’t going to be anything useful, he could tell that already - was cut short by a shrill blast from Truro’s whistle, as the engine steamed past towards the coaches. 

“There’s no use dawdling around in stations chatting! Come along, we have passengers to attend to!” Truro boomed gaily as he chuffed by. 

Bear’s engine revved sharply, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. “Well Oliver, it was good talking, but I must be going.” The look suddenly reappeared in his eyes. “My adoring public needs me.”

And then he reversed away sharply, leaving Oliver to wonder just what was going on?

--

Oliver was kept busy with both his own passenger trains as well as shunting the stone trains that Donald and Douglas would take later in the night, but every time he saw Bear and Truro, there did seem to be some kind of… tension between them. Truro… well Truro looked like he was doing his level best to ignore Bear entirely, and Bear…

Well, the less that Oliver noticed about Bear, the better. It scared him a little. 

But nonetheless, there did seem to be trouble brewing, and it wouldn’t be right for him to stand by and do nothing.

He waited until after the last peak-hour train, where Truro would be left at Arlesburgh while Bear took the coaches back to the big station. There was a long enough gap between trains that he could speak to Truro properly, and he intended to make full use of it. 

“Excuse me, Truro?” It had felt extremely liberating when Truro had told them to “Call me Truro, please.” , but for some reason it felt… wrong right now, like calling the Fat Controller by his first name. 

“Yes Oliver?” Truro was (hopefully) oblivious to Oliver’s internal turmoil. 

“”Has everything been alright with you and Bear?” That’s good, start strong. No small talk. 

Eyebrows knit together. “Why wouldn’t they be?” 

“Well,” Oliver wasn’t expecting that response. “I spoke to Bear today, and he-” 

Sympathy was not what he was expecting, but it was what happened next. “Oh goodness me. It didn’t say something dreadful to you, did it? Oh I would just be beside myself if that brutish-”

“What? No, Bear didn’t say anything to me like that!” What on earth would make him think that he would? 

“Then what would make you think that anything is wrong?”

“I just…” Wait, did he call Bear brutish? And it? “Every time I saw you two today, you both seemed very tense, and put out. I wasn’t sure what was wrong.”

Truro lightened up immediately. “Oh, I thought that something was actually wrong!” He laughed. “It’s actually nothing - trust me. We’re just both… less than thrilled with our current working arrangements. We’re both capable of taking the trains on our own, so doing it together is… taking some adjustment.”

Oliver felt mostly relieved, but pressed on. “I’m glad to hear that, but you might want to speak to Bear on that - I think that whatever issues you might be having, he’s having more of and just isn’t talking about it.” 

Truro smiled, and Oliver noticed with some confusion that it didn’t quite make it to his eyes. “I certainly hope that isn’t the case, but I will speak about it tomorrow.”

Oliver was forced to take him at his word, but found that he didn’t believe it. After some more idle chatting, he was called away to his next train. 

He didn’t notice the way that Truro stared at him as he left.

-----

The Big Station

Bear arrived at the big station a few minutes behind schedule, quite surprised to find Gordon still at the platform. “The express can’t be that late, can it?”

Gordon looked over at him, mournfully. “Please not now.”

“What?” Bear was usually willing to humor Gordon’s… histrionics, but he was far less charitable tonight than he otherwise would be. One wonders why… He thought. 

“Well, if you must know,” Gordon started anyways, ignorant of Bear's internal musings. “Edward, in a rare moment of unreliability, managed to rip his own coupling from his bufferbeam. James, who is seemingly exploring new ways of making his own interpersonal failings everyone else’s problem, elected to make jokes about this subject just as the Fat Controller came into earshot, which meant that now someone must cover for James, and considering that you are playing nursemaid to the second coming of Brunel, I was quite rudely volunteered for the duty by a snickering oaf of a diesel locomotive whom shall remain nameless.” He looked around, clearly displeased at his lot in life. “And thus, here I sit, attached to a plodding guaranteed-connection stopping train, waiting for that dratted band to cease making the abominable sounds it dares to call music.”

There was an offended trumpet noise from the bandstand, and the blue engine glared. “Ignoring the fact that you are consistently off key in an unpredictable manner, can we at least agree on the fact that your songbook was composed by a madman?! Christmas is about togetherness, family, gift-giving, and possibly the birth of Christ! At no point should hippopotami, donkeys, talking snowmen, or familial infidelity enter into the lexicon! What is happening in your country that these things are sung about in such frequency?!”

The bandleader turned a shade of puce, made a quite rude gesture in Gordon’s direction, and then picked up his songbook in a most threatening manner. 

As different instruments were picked up and tuned, Bear whispered to Gordon. “You know, I think that’s the only thing we can all agree on!” 

“Oh, thank heavens I’m not alone in this!”

“I know, even Truro hates their music, and he’s a right-”

A jaunty piano tune started quite abruptly, and Gordon suddenly looked ill.  

Grandma got run over by a reindeer!

Walking home from our house Christmas eve

“I really wish you hadn’t told me that.” He said, as quietly as he could. 

You can say there's no such thing as Santa

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

The guard blew his whistle, (or maybe Gordon’s driver had had enough of the singing as well), and the stopping train left in a whoosh of steam, leaving Bear to “enjoy” the “music.” 

[silverbackwolf14]

Please elaborate on the lesbian riddlebird you have imagined for the new Caped Crusader if you are still inclined to

Oh my gosh, hi hello thank you for asking I’m so excited!!!!

(also side note, I love your writing, you are amazing!)

Sapphic Riddlebird below!

So, because we don’t know much about the Universe of the Caped Crusader yet I have made my own assumptions, the first of which being that this takes place somewhere in the 30s-50s. This is important because Sexism™.

We know a bit about Oswalda Cobblepot in that she is our beloved Penguin who seems to run a crime syndicate in Gotham City, but she is also said to be a singer (I swear I read that somewhere in an article) so I imagine she has a very large public image. In my version of this she owns the lounge and performs there. Due to societal opinions, she’s seen as a bit of a disgrace. No one would ever say it to her face, but the facts remain that she is an unwed woman who performs and is getting up there in years and does not bend to societal norms. She’s never been beautiful by modern beauty standards, and she wasted her youth performing (and gaining power in the underworld) instead of finding a husband. Such a shame.

Oswalda doesn’t care about any of this obviously. She’s doing very well for herself, and despite keeping up the image that she is a high society lady, she breaks just about every gender norm in the book and is very proud of this. She's known for taking women under her wing and hiring them at the lounge. There's also rumors of her employees' worthless husbands disappearing, but that's neither here nor there.

--

Edith Nashton is a secretary at Wayne Industries. She has a brilliant mind and a penchant for science. Especially engineering. Engineering was just solving a puzzle. Easy as a riddle, and Edith loved a good riddle. She originally applied to be an engineer at Wayne Industries, but she was laughed out of the office and handed a secretary job. In dire need of money, she took the job. As she worked there, she helped with projects in secret. Fixing notes here, redesigning blueprints there. Never receiving credit of course, she couldn’t let them know a lowly woman was their reason for success. After being berated for giving a suggestion on counterbalance valves for a new machine, she decided she was sick of it all.

She went to the Iceberg lounge to drown her sorrows in booze and a show after having been ‘invited out’ by coworkers. (A group of them were going and she happened to be nearby. She knows it was a pity invite.) It is there that she meets Oswalda, having just finished a set onstage. Oswalda asks about her troubles, as no one should look so unhappy at her lounge.

Edith breaks down and reveals her troubles to Oswalda, who is certainly no stranger to such troubles, but is wise in experience on how to get around such societal problems.

Oswalda takes Edith under her wing, where the two grow closer together, becoming each other’s biggest confidants.

Edith takes on the form of Edward Nygma, after learning that a hat, a suit, and a touch of makeup can be all that’s needed to pass as a man, especially if they’ll never suspect a woman of being able to be as much of an engineering genius as Edith is.

Under the guise of Edward, Edith becomes Wayne Enterprises’ top scientist. However, after the business experiences a record loss, cutbacks are made, and Edith loses all funding.

Furious, Edward marches into the board of directors where they give everyone within earshot a piece of their mind. Edward is fired and promptly loses it. How dare they fire the smartest person in Gotham!

Edith returns to Oswalda, who lends a shoulder to cry on. The two have gotten very close. Perhaps closer than they realize. As Oswalda comforts a very distressed Edith, our lonely and touch starved scientist kisses an eagerly accepting crime boss. Edith, shocked at what she has just done, profusely apologizes, swearing she was just tired, and please don’t tell anyone I promise I’ll leave-

Oswalda shushes her. She has had her fair share of both men and women partners in her time, and Edith’s kiss was hardly unwelcome.

Edith is incredibly nervous; she’s never been in love with a woman before. She’s only ever had two boyfriends, neither of which were worth a damn, but when she’s with Oswalda. . .she finally feels like she belongs and can be herself without fear.

After a period of healing and self-growth, and A LOT of planning, Edith vows revenge against all of Gotham. How DARE they not see her for the genius she is? So, she once again adopts a new name. This time that of the Riddler. A fearsome green jackal who terrorizes the city, executing those who cannot answer their questions. The Riddler is neither man nor woman, but an Enygma. Simply a genius hell bent on the destruction of Wayne Enterprises, and all that stands in their way.

When the Riddler’s tirade is over for the night, Edith Nashton returns to Oswalda, who glows with pride at her partner’s success.

--

There’s bat stuff too but this is the basics. Not sure if I’ll write it as I’m in between two fics right now and a batman creature AU.

[scotianostra]

On August 3rd 1305 William Wallace was betrayed and handed over to the English.

One of the biggest misconceptions in the story about Wallace is that Robert the Bruce betrayed him, this is not true and one of many inaccuracies in the Hollywood film Braveheart, a great film in it’s own right, but it was not a true depiction on our heroes life, it was a Hollywood love story.

There has been debate about Wallace’s betrayal for centuries while Blind Harry’s accounts might be called into question because it was written over 250 years after the events, Sir John Menteith is the man that history has judged to have betrayed Wallace, Menteith’s descendants have argued that but for Harry’s account and tradition, there is no proof that the then sheriff of Dumbarton is innocent, they also say as the Sheriff of Dumbarton he may only have been doing his lawful duty, but as he was appointed by Edward king of England in my opinion this duty was illegal anyway

However putting the ancestors protests aside you only have to take a look at the evidence in the ‘Chronicle of Lancaster,’ written in the thirteenth century, where it is stated that 'William Wallace was taken by a Scotsman, namely, Sir John Menteith, and carried to London, where he was drawn, hanged, and beheaded. also in the account of the capture and execution of Wallace contained in the Arundel manuscript, written about the year 1320, it is stated that 'William Wallace was seized in the house of Ralph Rae by Sir John Menteith, and carried to London by Sir John de Segrave, where he was judged. John of Fordun a Scottish Chronicler wrote less than 100 years afterwards that..

'The noble William Wallace was, by Sir John Menteith, at Glasgow, while suspecting no evil, fraudulently betrayed and seized, delivered to the King of England, dismembered at London, and his quarters hung up in the towns of the most public places in England and Scotland, in opprobium of the Scots.’

Whatever the actual events there is little doubt in my mind of Menteith’s involvement, Wallace was held in Dumbarton Castle but by the 23rd of August, which to me seems a remarkably short amount of time, they had taken Wallace to London had a show trial and executed him, more to come of that in a few weeks time.

Pics are of The Wallace monument at Robroyston, the monument is a 20 foot high granite Celtic cross paid for by public subscription and unveiled before a crowd of around 1000 people at 4:30pm on Saturday 4th August 1900. The keen eyed among you will have noticed that the plaque says he was captured on August 5th, but my source in The Society of William Wallace has p[previously assured me that it was on the 3rd, those details read;

This memorial erected 1900 A.D. By public subscription is to mark the site of the house in which the hero of Scotland was basely betrayed and captured about midnight on 5th August 1305 when alone with his faithful friend and co patriot Kerlie Who was slain.

Wallace’s heroic patriotism as conspicuous in his death as in his life so roused and inspired his country that within nine years of his betrayal the work of his life was crowned with victory and Scotland’s independence regained on the Field of Bannockburn.

On the cross in stone is

In Defence

Then the Lion Rampant followed by

WALLACE MCCCV

&

"Dico Tibi Verum Libertas Optima Rerum Nunquam Servili Sub Nexu Vivito Fili"

Taught to Wallace in his boyhood.

(Latin translation as: "My Son, Freedom is best, I tell thee true, of all things to be won. Then never live within the Bond of Slavery.") "We are not here to sue for peace but to fight for the freedom of our country" Wallace at Stirling Bridge

Who dared to nobly stem tyrannic pride or nobly die

Burns.

I think the fact that so many attended that day, and the fact the public paid for the Cross speaks volumes, many see the story of Sir William Wallace as a modern reincarnation due to the film Braveheart, while this may have ignited the interest of many a Scot scattered around the globe with the Diaspora, it shows that Wallace was and is still a large part of the Scottish psyche.

[internals1ut]

Do you mind explaining your thoughts process on who is a top and who is a bottom?

I am curious about how you decided on those things :3

You don't need to answer if you don't want to ofc

Hell yeah I can anon! Sorry if some seems a little more bland than some others!

18+/nsfw/minors gtfo

Frosthiem

Jin - I know a lot of people see him as a bottom but I do see him as a top. Only because when I made my list I made Tohma a bottom and I love ships and even TohmaMido.

Tohma - Mido is the reason I love seeing a glasses man get fucked

Kaito - Whiney Bottom

Lucas - A soft top, give him time he didn't think he could do it either.

Vagastorm

Mido - He just seems like a top just by appearance alone. He seems like the type who would be a little worried to go rough unless he knows his partner can take it.

Sho - A gentle top, but he can be a tease and sometimes mean during sex.

Leo - Bottom. Need I say more.

Jabberwock

Towa - Seems like the type who would want to make Haru feel good, so he wants to make him feel nice and good while he tops.

Haru - He doesn't seem like he could be a top to me. But I can see him switching, but I will be writing him as a bottom

Ren - I wrote him as a top once for a Ren x Haru fic. And him. Not being a top hasn't left my mind.

Sinostra

Taiga - Really - "nah I ain't gonna bottom bitch for anyone, oh Lulu"~

Romeo - He is too hot to be doing all the work during sex. That is what that red haired idiot is for!

Ritsu - So I can't see him having sex at all no matter what. He seems passionate about his job as a lawyer and feel like he would rather do that than do someone

Hotarubi -

Subaru - I really liked writing those crying Subaru posts so you get bottom. Subaru

Haku - Forward, flirty, I would be hiding my face if I was under him and you are saying you won't? Don't lie.

Zenji - When he was alive, he definitely was a top. He'll call his partners moans a angelic singing voice and want to see how high those moans can sing ~

Obsucury

Lyca - He absolutely would knot in people, and would probably get bored when he bottoms and will probably ask of it was done and over with. So I can see him fitting as a top.

Edward - He has been through so much. He could have topped before but it got him bored and he needed a new sense of pleasure. So having someone or an anomaly inside him was new but it felt better and he has more fun than doing all the work.

Rui - Ends up being a top because Edward enjoys to bottom. He definitely has his worries about letting anyone touch him bare hands so he always wears a condom when doing it. But having finger sex with his gloves on? Getting them dirty because Edward can't stop being needy ~

Mortkraken

Yuri - He wants to act like a top but he is better at his experiments rather sex he doesn't know where to stick it in, guide him. Show him. Will he top next time? Of course he will say he will but the moment he and Jiro go to have sex after he says that, Jiro always ends up topping.

Jiro - Gives off top energy, but is more sadistic than anything. Plus he is the only one who could probably pleasure Yuri the way he likes it.

Sorry! I know some are a little bland and don't give a good reason , but I can't think of any switch in position since I made up my mind ;-;

Everyone is able to have their own opinions on who is a top or a bottom hell who is even a switch too!

This doesn't mean I don't ship a bottom x a bottom or a top x top, however I won't be writing smut of those two characters if that is the case of them.

Also feel free to come join my server linked on @internalscream1ng carrd

[panlight]

you mentioned the saga has too many side characters for a love story. In your opinion - who could be removed, without having their disappearance effecting the overall story? Personally i feel like Esme and Emmett could be taken out and there wouldn't be so much that'd change. But i never really thought about others. I guess the movies did well with removing Lauren and Ben.

My dilemma is that I LOVE all the side characters. By and large I find them more interesting than the mains. BUT because Twilight is, after all, a romance . . . there's just not a lot of 'room' for the side characters. Which is probably why I find them interesting! Because we get just enough information about them that I want to know more, but also leaves plenty of room for headcanons and personal interpretations.

But since romances are always about the central couple, there's just really no need for so MANY characters in this series. The movies were smart to combine some of the human high school characters to get the numbers down there, but since most of the other characters don't have any arcs or storylines of their own, they could have been cut or combined too. Does the wolfpack 'need' Paul AND Jared? Do Brady and Collin do anything? Do we really 'need' three Volturi leaders and all those guards? Do we 'need' all those visiting vampires in covens of 3-4, or could we have had more solo vamps or just pairs?

And yes, with the Cullens, it's absolutely Esme and Emmett. And I love them! They're some of my favorites! But in terms of the plot you just don't need them. You need Carlisle as the creator of Edward and for all the times the plot calls for a doctor. You need Alice as the facilitator of the romance and the quirky friend you often see in romances. Plus, her power plays a large role in the plot. Jasper has the New Moon attack and the history with newborns which becomes relevant in Eclipse. And Rosalie becomes important in Breaking Dawn, and she had a fun slightly antagonistic vibe. But you could cut out Emmett and Esme and the plot would not meaningfully change. In fact, in some way, it might improve.

For example I never really got why Edward was so hopeless about ever finding love when he has examples in his own family/coven of it taking a long, long time to find a partner. It took Jasper almost 100 years. It took Carlisle about 250. Rosalie and Emmett were outliers! Edward being all "forever alone" after 90 years as a vampire always felt a little off, like, there's still time. He's roughly at the age Jasper was when he met Alice. But if Carlisle and Rosalie were also still single, that makes Edward's hopelessness make a bit more sense. Like "if Carlisle the Amazing has not found a partner in 350 years what hope do I have?" or whatever.

Or you could try to combine characters. A Jasper/Emmett hybrid miiiiiight work. Emmett's backstory never matters, but you would have to sacrifice some elements of each of their personalities. I don't think making Rosalie Carlisle's wife/Edward's mother would work at all though. Feels wrong just to put it into words. Would combining Alice and Esme, making her Carlisle's wife/Edward's mother, and then having Rosalie with the Jasper/Emmett hybrid be better? Ugh, no, still doesn't work.

I think they all gotta be single, with Alice/Jasper the only couple. And then, yeah, the Edward/Bella thing would feel more miraculous. It was always funny to me it was like "oh no! the love between a human and vampire is forbidden and/or never works out well!" when literally in Edward's own family there were two couples who met when one was still human. I mean admittedly Emmett was minutes from death but still, technically, Rosalie and Carlisle both ended up with humans they 'saved.' Then there's Benjamin going back for Tia; Aro choosing human Sulpicia, like, it's not that usual. But you erase the R/Em and C/Es couples and then, sure, Ed/B seems more rare and impossible.

Ultimately, though, rather than cut characters I'd rather expand to the story to be more of an ensemble fantasy adventure WITH a romance rather than a romance that dips in and out of fantasy adventure. You can have a central character, and even a central romance, and still develop side characters and let them have their own arcs. Jasper could have actually had an arc about overcoming his thirst instead of just sulking about how Bella is so good at it. Carlisle could have had something about actually convincing some vampires to become vegetarian. Alice discovering her human origins could have had more of a meaningful effect on her characterization rather than just being something she infodumps on Bella as a fun bit of trivia. Esme and Emmett could have had plot-relevant reasons to exist rather than Rosalie and Carlisle just needing partners. And Ed/B's romance could still have been the centerpiece.

[galacsin]

Hi! I've just read through some of your Riddler character analysis posts and you saying "My Boy Edward got sterilized, after Zero Year ,and he is not allowed to be silly in the name of making him a "serious threat"." on one of them made me wonder what's your opinion on Zero Year and if you have any thoughts on why he got sterilized after it?

I've recently skimmed over it again and while Zero Year makes some notable changes to the character that end up being reiterated on in other modern releases, like making him a successful college educated genius business strategist instead of an odd working class guy with a mediocre high school degree, it still writes him as 'silly' in some way imo, or at least as eccentric and playful, which is a trait that seems to have mostly vanished from subsequent versions of the character, namely ones like TWoJaR, so the sterilization of his personality seems to conflict even with this variant's established character?

(Though I do have to say, even though Zero Year Riddler is still more "weird" and playful compared to later versions, there is something missing about him, for me. Maybe that he doesn't really come across as as emotionally unstable as older versions, as well as him somewhat lacking the usual anxiety and inferiority issues? His arrogance and superiority complex are written to be caused by his academic and economic success and otherwise repeated proof of his intellectual brilliance going unappreciated, instead of being a coping mechanism for dealing with a lifetime of failure and degradation. It seems he simply doesn't really have that internalised voice telling him he is a failure and an idiot the way older versions do, at least not to the same extent.)

Anyways sorry for the long essay but your character analyses are very succinct and interesting to read, so I had to ask

Thanks, Anon. I spent way too much time thinking about Eddie last year, so I’m glad my jumbled rambling comes across as succinct. I have been mulling over this ask for an hour now, I hope what I am going to write will make sense.

What I mean by him getting "sterilized" is this: his aim is often to grab power or commit crimes with a high body count. This isn’t just a result of his general indifference toward human life—it’s baked into his goals.

He often just wears a plain green suit, with little to no question marks, and he rarely has themed goons around him.

He’s treated as a "serious villain," which means he’s not allowed to simply commit larceny or try to annoy Batman to make himself look smart. Instead, he’s usually portrayed as cold and calculating, rather than being driven by his inferiority-superiority complex, insecurities, and other big emotions he’s unable or unwilling to confront. A person can be highly intelligent and still be ruled by these traits, but for some writers, geniuses are inherently cold, logical, and calculating.

The short answer is: Edward is the quintessential "just some guy" character with a gimmick that’s hard to write. This means that the traits selected for him will depend on the era he’s written in (reflecting the general direction of the comics at that time), whether the writer likes Eddie, and the role he plays in the story being told.

If you leaf through most of his appearances, you’ll see that he often has nothing to do with what’s going on in the story—he’s just slapped into the background or thrown at the bottom of a pile of beaten and bloody villains.

I completely agree with your assessment of Zero Year. Additionally, we didn’t get to see writers explore where this new version of Eddie could develop as a character, because the next substantial mainstream Riddler story we got was TWOJAR. Tom King essentially tossed everything in the bin and reinvented Edward as the foil to Bruce Wayne. He really doesn’t seem to know what to do with the riddle gimmick. He just has Edward tell riddles on the page and then murder a child with a poisoned rope. The Riddlers bellow are all supposed to be the same guy within the same general timeline. If you read these stories you know how different their characterizations are from one another.

In Their Dark Designs, Edward leans heavily on the high-tech hacker angle, and he’s clearly an homage to Batman Forever. Meanwhile, Year of the Villain Ed has all the old school elements and that stupid chest scar. We see him as a carnie, winning a puzzle contest that shapes him as a person he has neglectful parents, and hangs out with King Tut. (I love it when writers reference that one Batman Confidential story. I know I am going to eat well when this happens)

Parallel to these, we also have the "Dealer's Choice" version, usually written by authors who don’t dislike him or are fond of some of his earlier iterations. These versions are more likely to be obsessed with clever plans and larceny rather than murdering a bunch of people. They’re also more likely to include his self-destructive tendencies. I personally prefer it when he’s his own undoing, or when something stupid and tragic happens to him—like in Joker Presents: The Puzzle Box. (It’s the Joker. He happens to him. He might as well have been cursed by the gods.)

Like Batman is not going to drink champagne on a rooftop with TWOJAR that is for certain.

The upside of this mess is that sometimes we get absolutely great Riddler stories and appearances. We’re not boxed into just one iteration of the character.

For example, I don’t have the time to go into detail about BTAA Riddler or Unburied Riddler here. Two stories with very different moods themes and Riddlers, both great in their own ways.

We’ve entered a “post-era” era, where every version of him exists parallel to each other and all at once.