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brutal-nemesis · 3 years

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Arthropod Day 2021: 🦀Time For Crab 🦀

Malacostraca Moment 😳🦀

So fun story I wanted this to be on a Saturday because SIDEWAYS SATURDAY but when I was deciding on the date I looked at the calendar for July without realizing it. Happy Sideways Stuesday I guess?

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: drowning mention, animal attack (kinda chill tho it’s not really violent), dehydration, autocannibalism mention, parasitic insects, partial nudity, heckin surgery (but it’s CONSENSUAL (⊙ˍ⊙) who am I), suicide for convenience (immortal)

“This looks like a lovely spot for a vacation; thank you guys so much for finding it for me.” The small dingy had just landed on a sandy beach enclosed by dark rocks on either side, a lush forest leading deeper into the island. Casyts’s captor glared at him before harshly tugging the rope tied to his wrists, trying to get him to stand and step onto the beach with her.

“Shut your trap, Ragnarok, or I might change my mind about gagging you. Now get up or I’ll have my men drag you.”

Castys sighed and rolled his eyes, getting up and following her so his rope burn didn’t get any worse. “Aye aye, Yvonne.”

“That’s Captain Veldna to you,” she growled, jerking him forward. He stumbled a bit, but he was able to catch himself before he got sand up his nose. He debated trying to yank the rope out of her hands and running away or stealing the boat, but her very strong men were right behind him and that would probably just end in him having extra bruises. So he just followed her like a stupid little goat as she led him towards the rocks, hoping she wouldn’t leave him tied up so he could at least enjoy his time being stranded. But no, this was about sending a message to his crew or making him suffer or something. He didn’t really remember, he’d been dazed as hell when he’d initially gotten captured during a fight between their two ships. Blood loss was a bitch sometimes.

They forced him to sit with his back against a large rock, yanking his bound hands above his head and worming a large nail through the knotted rope before hammering it into the rock. “Not gonna lie, this seems a little extra. I’m not going to go anywhere, so, like, just let me-” Yvonne slapped him harshly across the face.

“You’re not here to have fun, you annoying little parrot.” She looked over at her men, who had just finished tying his ankles together and nailing them down in a similar fashion to his wrists. “If you lot are done, let’s leave.” She turned back to Castys, a wicked grin on her face. “I wonder how many times you’ll die before your crew finds you?”

“My money’s on eight. Do you want me to keep track and tell you next time we see each other? If only I could write in a diary what horrors I suffer sitting on this warm rock that you tied me to during high tide so I won’t even drown later. Now that-agh!” Yvonne stabbed him in the stomach, and Castys bit back a scream as she twisted her blade.

“The sound of your silence is something I could get used to.”

“Well, the real question is, is silence actually a sound-” Castys’s very valid observation was cut off by the bitch yanking out her sword and promptly kicking him in the stomach. He couldn’t help but cry out, doubling over as far as he could. Yeah, yeah he should probably just shut the fuck up and let them get on their merry way before he got more unnecessary injuries.

“Enjoy your vacation, Ragnarok,” Yvonne spat. As one last gesture of maturity, she kicked sand at him before walking off, and some of it definitely got in his stab hole, so that was nice. He watched them row away, sighing. Now it was just boredom city, but hey, at least he had a nice beach view. The sun was a few hours away from setting, not that it mattered that much since his skin was dark enough that he probably wasn’t going to get sunburned.

Being tied to a rock on the beach was...just about as boring as he expected. His arms got all tingly after a while from being stuck above his head, so he couldn’t even properly relax, and a man could only watch little waves roll for so long. He had a nice view of the setting sun, and hey, that means the light of dawn wouldn’t be shining in his face. While the sun was still a little ways above the horizon, he heard an odd rustling noise over in the vegetation, different from the background sounds he had gotten used to. He looked over, hoping it was a friendly man with a knife.

It was not a friendly man with a knife. But it wasn’t something bad, either. “Oh shit hello crabs!” Castys watched as they scuttled out of the treeline onto the beach, glad to have something fun to watch. One of them was slowly making its way towards him, and Castys wondered if he would be able to convince it to snip his bindings. “Hey there mister crab man, come on down, and please for the love of god untie me.” Yes, yes he was talking to a crab, because why not go full send on the insanity right away? It would be so much more fun, and it’s not like anyone else was here to judge him. “Yeah crab get in my zone-wow you’re kinda big.” He’d thought the crab was closer to him, but nope, it had been farther away but giant. Not like giant giant but not, like, normal crab size. It was almost as big as his torso maybe, but he was never great at estimating the relative sizes of things.

“You’re large but you’re a gentleman, ain’t ya? I don’t know why, but you just seem like a polite fellow.” The crab stopped not too far from Castys and just looked at him blankly. Or maybe it was making a face at him, but he couldn’t read crab body language. Could anyone read crab body language? Crabs, he would hope. “Could you bring me some tea, good sir? Or just...water. Water that’s not salty. I don’t actually like tea it literally tastes like nothing but you know what I would drink it now because I am thirsty.” There was a moment of silence. “Not like thirsty in the weird way some people are. I have no idea what that’s about. But like, I want water. Or...oh my god, Mr. Crab, bring me a coconut!” Castys closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “Yeah… that would be nice. Food and water and it’s prepackaged and I don’t know how I would eat it because my hands are tied but I’ll figure it out.”

A sudden sharp pinch against his wound jolted Castys out of his daydream. He looked down in horror to see that the crab was holding something in its claws. Something pinkish-red that was dripping blood down onto the sand. The bastard. The crab brought the piece of his flesh to its mouth and just ate it while staring right at Castys. “That,” he blinked in surprise a few times, “was incredibly rude.” The crab stayed still, watching him as it did its weird mouth movements that were maybe chewing. “You are absolutely not a gentleman. I rescind everything. You little garbage boy. Rapscallion. I bet you never get invited to the crab raves.”

And the crab. Had the audacity. To reach out its stupid pincher. And do it again. “Little bitch!” Castys yelled, squirming against the ropes in an attempt to scare the thing off. Shockingly, it did not work, because wounded, dying prey squirmed all the time, and...that’s pretty much what Castys was in this scenario, wasn’t he? He was just stuck sitting here while that stupid crab ripped off little pieces of him with its stupid crab pincher and put them in its stupid crab mouth. If he was lucky, this would make him bleed out and die faster and then he wouldn’t have an open wound anymore, which would be a bonus. Though, it had sand in it, and then if it healed…

A problem for another day.

Not the next day, though, or the one after, because, hooray, he was still tied to a rock, so even though he did die a few hours later, he couldn’t do anything about the Sand In His Insides. He made up a song about it, but singing it loudly did absolutely nothing to scare away the crab, whom he had named Crabstard (Crab Bastard). Crabstard seemed to think Castys was his new best friend, coming back regularly for meals. Castys liked to imagine killing and eating Crabstard as a show of dominance, but that made him wonder...would eating Crabstard be a form of autocannibalism? Because Crabstard had eaten him...

He wasn’t sure what was worse, Crabstard and his stupid giant pinchers, or the mosquitoes. There weren’t a ton of them, but their bites were just awful, littering his arms and legs with swollen, white boils, which were unusual and also very concerning but what the fuck could he do about it. Because of course he couldn’t scratch them, and they itched so much it hurt and he just had to endure it. Just like he had to endure fucking everything. The heat of the sun, the awful tingling in his arms, the soreness of his wrists, Crabstard pinching off bits of his flesh, the maddening pain and itch of all his bug bites, the hunger and thirst, the boredom, and the...the loneliness.

No, he was fine, he was fine with just himself, it was always just him anyway. He wasn’t imagining his crew rowing to shore and untying him and tending to him in his cold, dark cabin, because he couldn’t get his hopes up, because they probably weren’t even coming for him. They were just going to leave him behind like everyone else and fuck he was wasting water like a useless idiot and he couldn’t stop or even wipe them away and he probably deserved this for everything he’d done so what did it matter?

And, great, the next day he started hallucinating a passing ship and a rowboat coming for him. Thank you, dehydrated whore brain! Let’s get our stupid little hopes up! Dang, the people on the boat kind of even looked like some of his crewmates, which was rude of his brain to make this so realistic looking.

It wasn’t until his first mate, Kaveri, was untying him that Castys realized that this was real, that they’d really...really come for him. “I’m so glad we found you, Captain.” She pulled him into a hug as soon as he was free, and he hugged her back as best he could with his sore arms.

“I’m glad y’all did, too.” He leaned back when she let go and looked down at himself, wincing. “Well, before we get back to the ship, I am going to deliver a much needed death upon mys-“

“Captain, Captain, wait,” the ship’s medic, Sixtus, called as he ran over. He knelt beside Castys, taking his arm and examining the bug bites closely. “I knew it. These bites all over you are...they contain fly larvae. We’re going to need to dig them out before you heal yourself.”

“...what if I’ve died since I’ve gotten bitten. Like, earlier.”

“Well.” Sixtus breathed in sharply. “We will just have to wait for them to, uh, let us know where they are.” He sighed. “For now, let’s get you back to the ship and I’ll get out the ones I can. I don’t have the tools for it with me.”

“Can I kill Crabstard first?”

“Crab...stard?” Kaveri gave him a concerned look, and Sixtus felt his forehead.

“He’s a very impolite giant crab. He is my rival. I wish to vanquish him.” The other two shared a look.

“Do you know where this...this crab is?” Sixtus tried.

Castys held up a finger and opened his mouth, pausing for a second before shutting it and blinking a few times. “I. I do not. He just scuttles out of the trees to commit crimes every now and then. He has no friends.”

“Alright, in that case, no. You’re in no condition to wander around the island looking for a crab.” Sixtus held out his hand. “So, come on.”

“Fiiiine,” Castys groaned, letting the taller man help him to his feet. He was a little unsteady, but he was able to make it to the boat with Kaveri’s help. As they rowed away, he turned back to the island one last time, cupping his hands around his mouth as he yelled, “Fuck you Crabstard I hope you starve and die in a pit and the other crabs eat you!”

Once they made it back to the ship, Sixtus ushered Castys into his office, instructing him to sit up on the examination table and take his shirt and pants off. Kaveri helped him, opting to stay in case Sixtus needed a hand. He examined Castys thoroughly, using a lightstone to get a good look at the swollen bug bites littering his body as well as the number of small wounds in his side.

“These from the, uh, crab?” Sixtus asked as he gestured to them.

“Yup. Him and his stupid pinchers.”

“Alright, I know you don’t really get infections, but I’m going to clean these out just to be safe.” He paused. “Also it just feels. Really wrong not to. It’ll bother me if I don’t.”

“Do whatever, doctor man.” Castys did his best not to let his pain show as Sixtus dabbed at his wounds with a stingy liquid. It really didn’t hurt that much, but when Kaveri placed her hand on top of his as he gripped the edge of the table, he didn’t wave her off. He’d let it be Fuss Over The Captain Day. For their sake. Because they seem to have been worried about him.

“Alright, I’m all done with that, so if you could lay down, Captain, I’ll get started with removing those larvae. Kaveri, get him some rum and then hold him down.” She nodded, leaving and returning soon after with a small cup.

“You know, I haven’t had water in days,” Castys mused before winking at her and downing its contents. Kaveri shook her head.

“You literally emptied my waterskin while we were rowing back.”

“Oh dang, I forgot. Nevermind I’m actually not funny and am just stupid.” He scooted a bit and laid down with his hands behind his head. “Get rid of my worms.”

“They’re not-they’re not worms, Captain, they’re insects, since-” Sixtus stopped himself, folding his hands in front of his mouth. “Nevermind.” He cleared his throat. “Arms at your sides, please. Kaveri, if you would.” She nodded, holding down his shoulders as Sixtus turned Castys’s arm, locating the first larva he was going to remove. Castys breathed in sharply as the knife sliced into his arm, doing his best to keep still as Sixtus slid a pair of tweezers into the wound. The rum dulled his senses enough that it didn’t hurt as much as it could, but it certainly wasn’t painless, and he couldn’t help but gasp as Sixtus slowly pulled a small, wriggling grub out of the incision. He dropped it in a metal tray, cleaned the wound, and picked up his knife.

Then the process started all over again.

Castys didn’t bother counting how many times those tweezers probed around inside him, how many wet little plops he heard as another larva dropped into the tray. He focused on staying still, on the prickle of the rough wood table against his bare back, on the feeling of Kaveri’s hands on his shoulders, more comforting than restraining. They reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his suffering, for once. But he wasn’t supposed to need comfort, he was their immortal captain, the one who’d been through everything before and was strong enough to go through it again, the one his crew could always depend on to be strong. And here he was, teeth gritted against the pain, his forehead resting against Kaveri’s arm, fists clenched to mask their shaking, all over a few cuts and some little maggots.

“Alright,” Sixtus wiped his brow with the back of his hand, “I think that’s all of ‘em. That I can see, at least.” He looked down at Castys. “You had seventeen of those things in you, Captain.” He grimaced. “And possibly more, so please let me know if you feel anything, uh, wiggling. But for now, you’re free to...die.”

“Can’t believe I got a new world record for worm friends.” Castys grabbed the small leather pouch that usually hung around his neck from his pile of clothes, pulling it open.

“They’re not worms-”

“Thank you, Sixtus.” With that, Castys stuck his finger in the pouch and touched his death stone. He came back to life feeling infinitely better, but Kaveri and Sixtus still insisted he rest after he cleaned himself up. He grumbled, but he let Kaveri force him into his bed and bring him something to eat. Once he was finished, she collected his plate and stood awkwardly by his bedside.

“Do...do you want me to come back, Castys? Will you be alright?”

“Look, I’m honestly fine, you’re good. I’ve been through a lot worse, and I’m all healed up now so it doesn’t really matter.”

She pursed her lips. “I suppose, but that doesn’t mean that that didn’t still take a mental toll on you, and…” she sighed. “Just...call me if you need anything, alright?”

“Will do.” She nodded, but as she started to walk away, Castys realized there was something he’d rather not leave unsaid. “Wait, Kaveri?”

“Yes?”

“Th...thank you. For, uh, finding me.”

“Of course, Castys. We’ll always be there for you.” Castys opened his mouth to reply, but he stopped himself and just smiled and nodded, his shoulders only falling once she’d left.

He wished that were true.

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch

#i wrote something #arthropod day #arthropod day 2021 #castys #immortal whumpee #dehydration cw #animal attack cw #painful caretaking #partial nudity #parasites cw #surgery whump #suicide for convenience #yes the rocks are basalt #welcome to castys's irrational hatred of crabs he now has a blood feud with any and all crabs #using my favorite life hack called ''these crabs are BASED on coconut crabs but since they are fantasy crabs they will do what i want''#the botfly larvae are botfly larvae ✨ grubby boys #i did write portions of this while on an actual beach so like 😎 kinda pog #wasn't gonna do the rescue bit but castys got sad and also that meant SURGERY #*gives sixtus my obsessive wound cleaning tendencies and adherence to biological classification schemes*#this random man can have these little traits of mine. as a treat #also i realized like a day after i named him that he is in the clan of lads who's names end in -us #six letter names that end in -us are simply peak boy name i dont take criticism #i literally have FOUR of them: erebus jairus corvus and sixtus

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sttngfashion · 4 years

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5.26 and 6.1 - Time’s Arrow

Oh my god. Y’all. It’s a new Fashion It So post. In the year of our Picard 2020. Yes.

For literal years, Charlie and I have been like UGH WE NEED TO DO TIME’S ARROW PARTS 1 AND 2 BUT IT’S JUST SUCH A MONSTER.

Well, I’m doing a complete rewatch of the series with my partner and we just got to these two, so IT IS TIME.

We open in a cave in San Francisco, where Data and Picard are checking something out:

Rent for the cave is $6,000 per month

Showing them around is this guy in a Science Outfit:

He’s ready to go night biking

We’ve seen this look before in both Silicon Avatar and Devil’s Due, and it’s functional, yet cute. Basically a windbreaker in jumpsuit form.

They find a couple of items in the cave, including a pocket watch from 1889 and also:

I left my head in San Francisco

IT’S DATA’S HEAD!!! And it’s been there for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS. What could have caused this? And why is Data’s head so absolutely terrifying?

Is that fondant

This head is, in a word, haunting. The 2020 of heads.

Data and Geordi chat in Ten-Forward about what the presence of Data’s head in the cave means. Data says it means he’s mortal; that someday he will die, and that’s comforting. Spoiler alert: that’s not what it means. But it’s a nice conversation.

Also, Guinan is here!!!

Merlot My God!!

Or maybe: Burgundy-lightful!! Or perhaps: De-Crimson-alize Sex Work!! Okay that last one was a stretch but I really think I missed my calling as a nail polish shade namer.

Anyway, she’s here in her classic look of a pizza-sized hat and a flowing gown/coat/top/robe. The collar here is a little too close to a mock turtleneck for my liking and honestly - this is a little staid for our friend Guinan. I want a TEXTURE or a SWEEP or some WIDE RIBBING or some PLEATS. Don’t worry, though...she will get plenty more later.

Then there’s some plot which frankly we DO NOT HAVE TIME to get into but let’s just say: the away team goes to a planet, there’s a temporal disturbance, and Data ends up here:

Huge mood

Where are we? Or should I say WHEN are we??

Well that old-timey font is a good clue...also the horse

Are we in the Old West land of an off-brand Disneyworld? Are we going to ride something called Large Lightning Mesa Train Tracks? What colorful characters will we meet here?

Winner of 1893’s Mustache Medal

This type of ‘stache is called a Fu Manchu, after the character Dr. Fu Manchu. It’s not...a great look? But it is memorable, which is sometimes enough. He’s also wearing a simple black cap, probably made of silk. He’s keeping it cazh.

So where are we?

SAN FRANCISCO, OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATE / YOU’LL LET NOBODY WAIT / OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR

Yes, it’s San Francisco. And it’s *eyes popping out of head like a cartoon wolf seeing a busty babe* 1893!!!! That temporal disturbance was...disturbing.

So who else do we have hanging out?

Please check out our Vaudeville act, Knit Cap ‘n’ Bowly

These dudes understand those famous Bay Area MICROCLIMATES, amirite? We’ve got a Henley. We’ve got a buttondown. We’ve got a vest. We’ve got a coat. No matter which way the thermometer decides to go, THEY ARE READY. Also loving the pop of forest green on Knit Cap’s knit cap.

We also have a 49er:

No, it’s not Steve Young. I googled “famous 49ers” to complete this joke so if there is a more famous 49er please let me know

It’s a literal 49er. Since it’s 1893, this guy’s been hanging around in town for a while, and he’s also familiar with the layering techniques one must master if one is to conquer the Bay Area’s climate. He also has a kicky Colonel Sanders-type tie. He asks Data for money and gives him a few panhandling tips. He’s chill. We like him. But don’t get too attached if you know what I mean!!!!

Data decides he needs somewhere to stay, so he finds a hotel:

Brian.

Why is this so funny to me. Brian. Why would you name your hotel Brian. Brian!!!! I know it’s a last name but like...Brian. HOTEL BRIAN.

This bellhop’s name is not Brian:

Where’s your hat, bro

He’s giving us a classic bellhop look, complete with too many buttons. He gives Data the very important information that there’s a poker game happening in the back of the hotel, which means: Data is about to be RICH rich.

The poker game includes a few good looks:

Louie Anderson IS Wolverine IN a Lands’ End barn coat

Two plaids? Sir...I salute you

Colonel Sanders Goes to Carnaval

Data, of course, wipes the floor with them so hard that he wins their clothes:

Didn’t get that barn coat tho

Yes, that’s the actual vest and the actual hat of those guys from the previous scene. Oh, I love it. I love Data in a vest over his uniform and I love Data with a feather in his cap. Let’s call it macaroni.

Meanwhile, out on the street, the plot is happening:

Beige: inescapable

This is our first taste of the decadent 1890’s sleeves that appear in this episode, and these aren’t even the best sleeves!! These are an amuse-bouche of sleeves. An armuse-bouche, if you will.

Anyway, these two are aliens disguised as humans who are here to steal the 49er’s life energy.

Pew pew pew

I told you not to get attached!!!

Back on the Enterprise, Guinan is doing mixology:

She would never call it something as stupid as mixology though

She tells Picard that he needs to go check out the temporal disturbance, too, even though captains don’t normally go on away missions, and then she gives him this look:

It’s that serious

When Guinan looks at you like this, you do what she says.

Now this outfit is much better than the earlier one. We have some pleated sleeves, which I didn’t even think was a thing you could DO. We have some sort of functional(?) strap(??) across the front. We even have matching fingerless gloves which always make a look A LOOK. And if Picard wasn’t sure whether he needed to go on this away mission, she then gives him THIS look:

Okay now it’s REALLY serious

Back in 1893, Data is making something:

It’s actually just a really complicated and large music box that plays “I Left My Head in San Francisco”

He’s gotten his hands on some more period-appropriate clothing, including a bow tie and a vest. Since he’s not wearing arm garters and his sleeves appear to be the correct length for his arms, we can conclude that the shirt was custom-made, not ready-made, because Data is now a baller due to his poker earnings.

Then, Data sees this in the paper:

I know her!! From work!!!!

Yes, it’s Guinan. In 1893. In a hat!!!!

We cut to the literary reception, which is honestly not as well-attended as I thought it would be, considering it got a GIANT photo of Guinan on page THREE of the paper, but okay. And who should we spy there but:

You’ll love my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices

No, it’s not Colonel Sanders. (Sorry, I really have Colonel Sanders on the brain because of that Lifetime movie.) It’s Samuel Clements, AKA Mark Twain. I had an English teacher in high school who explained the origin of his pseudonym (it indicates a mark of two fathoms, aka twelve feet, on a steamboat) and for some reason she shouted MAAAARK TWAAAAAIN when she told us that story so now her delivery of that line is in my head until I die I guess.

Anyway, it’s Mark Twain.

He’s wearing his iconic white linen suit with a black bow tie, and he’s also wearing a lot of prosthetics, because the actor playing him (Jerry Hardin, AKA Deep Throat from The X-Files AKA Melora Hardin AKA Jan Levinson-Gould’s dad) (was that too many AKAs) (you get it, right?) didn’t look enough like Mark Twain, I guess? In conclusion: what if eyebrow wigs were a thing?

Twain is having a chit chat with “Madame Guinan,” who is wearing what can only be called a sumptuous gown:

It’s 11:30 and the gown is sumptin’ sumptin’

There are so many ELEMENTS to this look! First of all: the color. Royal purple. Fit for a queen. Appropriate.

Then: those sleeves! These sleeves are known as “leg of mutton sleeves” because they KIND OF look like a leg of mutton. Have you ever seen a leg of mutton? I haven’t. I’ve only seen these sleeves. Plus they have a stripe?? No, I don’t know why, but I LOVE IT.

The cuffs and the cravat bring this from “dress” to “lewk.” Top it all off with this hat and you have a true 1893 mood.

What bird is that feather even from

We get a few good extra looks in this scene as well:

Pink Lady is NOT wearing a corset

Look, sometimes you don’t have enough period-appropriate undergarments for all the background people and that’s fine. But I WILL notice.

Is that Loretta Lynn

I am loving all of this! That purple dress is fantastic, those stripes? I die. Military man has some fun flair on his shoulder, and there is a dude in a beautiful turban back there. Plus, another Black lady in addition to Guinan and That One Ensign Who Is On The Bridge Sometimes.

Data rolls in to the literary event in a different suit with a CRAVAT:

Craving a cravat

Data is like “we serve together on the same starship in the 24th century” and Guinan is like “huh” but then she’s like “okay” which...I’m not sure if I would believe that? But let’s just say it’s fine.

Over in the 24th century, the literal entire bridge crew is checking out the temporal disturbance and I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL:

Blue Man Group...on ACID

These beings are like ghosts but also like Dr. Manhattan but also like pure energy.

Then everyone goes through the temporal disturbance AND THE SEASON ENDS.

Fortunately for you, this post will continue...right now.

Okay, so we’re back in San Francisco in 1893. You can tell by the horses:

Also the fruit carts

Samuel Clemens is strolling around with a reporter, telling him that he has a great story for him that involves time travelers and, like, protecting the nation.

Here’s the thing about this episode’s version of Mark Twain: he’s kind of a dick. Was the real Mark Twain kind of a dick? I just feel like Mark Twain should be JAZZED about meeting time travelers and not acting like a fuckin’ time cop* and trying to put the Enterprise crew on blast.

Anyway I love his double-breasted vest.

See my vest

The reporter’s hat is technically period-accurate, but that style is SO associated with the 1930s-1950s that I would have gone with something else. He looks cute though.

Meanwhile, Data is wearing a three-piece suit:

My positronic olfactory synapses are interpreting something as...a fart

I hate brown, but this is fine.

Additionally, the beige baddies from before are back and this time, they’ve got a SNAKE CANE:

Love the snake cane, hate how they suck the life out of people

But we are not here for them, we are here to see our faves in period clothing. Our first look is at Riker, who is dressed as an actual cop, not a time cop like Mark Twain:

The past just had...so many buttons

I guess if you’re a time-traveling white man there are worse disguises than a cop. But WHERE DID HE GET THIS UNIFORM? I choose to believe that he found a cop with a similar large handsome body to his own and beat the shit out of him and stole his clothes. Now we can all enjoy imagining a cop being beat up.

The badge that Riker is wearing is a great historical detail; the SFPD started wearing them in 1886 and are reportedly the first law enforcement agency to have worn the seven-pointed star, which is now a common shape among sheriff’s departments across the United States.

But let’s move on to a better look: Dr. Beverly Crusher:

Curlz MT

Okay, now I have more questions. Beverly obviously wouldn’t beat someone up for their clothes, so where did SHE get HER outfit? And who did her hair? Did she do her OWN hair? Where did she get a curling iron? Does she know how to use a curling iron? Was it one of those ones that’s actually made of iron that you have to heat up in a fireplace?

We will get answers to zero (0) of these questions.

We actually get a much better look at her dress later, so let’s focus on that cloak!!! I love it and I also love her hat. Okay, I guess I had less to say about those than I thought.

Bev and Will, along with the rest of the officers, have somehow procured a room/apartment in some lady’s lodging house. It’s cute!

They gave it 5 stars on AirBnB

This also raises questions. How did they get this room? How many bedrooms does it have? Are they sharing one large bed? If so, who has to sleep crossways at the foot of the bed and why is it Geordi? We will get zero answers to these questions as well, so let’s move on to arguably the hottest costume in this two-parter:

I’ll be in Holodeck 4

Whewwwwwww. He’s giving us a rolled sleeve. He’s giving us a casual tweed vest. The pants? They’re perfect. And he KNOWS how that slouch is working. It’s working VERY well. But the Irish landlady? She’s having NONE OF IT.

Absolutely NO nonsense

She needs the rent, but Picard charms her and she leaves. So I guess that’s how they got the room. Her look is knitwear-forward:

Eileen Fisher does sound like an Irish name

She’s got a shawl AND a cardigan! The cozy factor is OFF THE CHARTS. She also has a brooch, because a touch of fancy is always welcome. I will say that her hair is a little more fashion-forward than I’d expect for a woman of her age and station. This is straight up 1890s hair, and she would probably still be rocking an 1860s look, which isn’t as sweepy and would likely involve more braids. Still, she looks lovely.

Geordi is also here looking dapper:

Make the collar as high as you can. I want to be sliced open by my own collar

You CAN go wrong with a three-piece suit, but it’s difficult to. He can’t wear his visor, so he has some kicky shades which we’ll get a better look at in a sec.

Back at the Hotel Brian (lol), the bellboy (who we learn in this scene is Jack London, inspired to be a writer by Mark Twain [citation needed]) lets Mark Twain into Data’s room and allows him to look around unsupervised. This is very bad hotel management.

Great Scott

Then Data and Guinan show back up, and Mark Twain hides in an armoire.

One short day in the emerald brocade

I think one reason I love Guinan’s looks so much, both in the 24th and the 19th century, is that our color palette is very similar. We’re both winters. Bold jewel tones are the vibe. This one is in a beautiful deep green fabric with what looks like a velvet flocking pattern on it. The collar is also velvet, and I love that sleeve with a flounce on top like there wasn’t already enough fucking fabric on the sleeve so they just added a random piece to be like “yes, bitch. I’m a sleeve.”

Naturally, the hat is also jaunty af:

San Francisco’s hottest milliner is: Madame Guinan

This hat has everything: feathers, netting, a brim, an angle that makes you think it’s going to fall off but it doesn’t. We stan.

Meanwhile, Picard is setting up a sensor in a hospital while wearing a hat:

I’m bowled over

We haven’t even asked where Picard got these clothes, but I would like to point out that he’s dressed as a lower-class guy, while Riker is a cop, and Geordi looks like a gentleman. Was there even a discussion they all had about how they would disguise themselves? Was Picard like “I just really want to wear a beat-up bowler hat” and since he’s the captain, they extrapolated from there? This episode is NOT CONCERNED about any of this. They all have clothes, end of story.

Bev even has TWO outfits!!

Hello nurse!!!!

I love this look. She still has her unlikely hairstyle happening, which means her nurse’s cap is sitting atop her voluminous hairstyle. (Not very practical, but realistic!) She’s sporting a simple striped dress and a button-on apron. (Look closely and you can see the two buttons holding the apron to the dress.) The fabric underneath might be cotton seersucker, but it’s likely a lightweight cotton or linen twill. You can see how closely her look matches these nurses from a similar time period:

Hello nurses!!!!

Deanna is also in this scene and this episode, but you wouldn’t know it from what she’s given to do. HUGE SHOCKER: TROI NOT GIVEN ENOUGH TO DO IN AN EPISODE. 🙃

She still looks beautiful:

Why aren’t capelets more popular

We never get a really GREAT look at her whole outfit, but I can tell you that it has a capelet, it’s in the red family, and the hat has a lot of business going on. For those reasons: approved. It has a flounce in the back too:

More fabric = more wealth

Sometimes I think about just how much fabric it took to make these old-timey dresses and I’m like...how did anyone get anything done?? It takes me like 4 weeks to finish a pair of leggings and those have like 5 seams and I own a serger. These historical bitches were sewing whole ass dresses in no time at all.

Okay, so Bev is in this hospital and here come some more energy-stealing aliens, disguised as healthcare professionals this time:

I cannot take a medical professional wearing a LIGHT BROWN TOP HAT seriously, sorry

Bev AND this energy-stealing alien have BOTH managed to get their hands on the SAME nurse’s uniform?? I guess in the case of the alien, she is a shape-shifter, so she got her clothes from...that. And her hair.

I hate this light brown top hat. If you’re going to wear a top hat, don’t DISRESPECT IT by making it BROWN, but if you’re going to make it brown, make it a good brown, like chocolate. Stupid energy-stealing aliens.

There’s a skirmish, the energy-stealing aliens disappear, and the real cops show up:

MOUSTACHE

Of course, the cops showing up is bad, because when has a cop showing up ever made a bad situation better? Never. Defund the police, but don’t defund handlebar mustaches. Those can stay.

Fortunately, Data has gotten a ping on that machine he was building before and shows up on a motherfucking HORSE:

Brent just wanted to show off

He’s back in his brown striped suit and red tie. Okay.

Everyone returns to the boarding house to suss out the situation, and we get a look at what Riker is rocking underneath his cop jacket:

Suspend me daddy

You can see very clearly here how the collar is not actually attached to the shirt. This was a thing people in the olden days did so they could wear their shirt for multiple days in a row and just switch out the collar and cuffs so they looked clean. As someone who is wearing the same sweatshirt for the third day in a row, I support this method. (If you’re interested on more info about collars, here is a very enjoyable article about them.)

We are also blessed with a better look at Deanna’s sleeves and bodice:

Black lace cuffs? Decadent!!!

You can also see Geordi’s shades, which suit him really nicely. One thing I’ve been enjoying on this rewatch is just how well LeVar Burton can act without having his eyes visible. He’s great. Let’s just all think about how great LeVar Burton is for a second

And also Bev’s dress:

I legitimately want this dress

I don’t think those buttons are functional. Can you imagine how annoying THAT would be? But I am absolutely in love with this dress. Two paisleys, Beverly???? A goddess. I’m also dying for that brooch with the chain. A+ look all around, great work.

Finally, FINALLY, Guinan meets the rest of the crew:

When you meet someone you won’t actually know for 500 years

She is wearing a hat that looks like a toilet paper cozy. Did your grandma have one of these? They’re so stupid and I love them so much.

Picard and Guinan meet for what is the first time for her, but not the first time for him, and honestly it is...sensual?????

If I got a m’lady from P. Stew I wouldn’t even mind

Patrick and Whoopi truly do some nice work in this ep. But we are here to yell about clothes, so: LOOK AT THIS DRESS ON AN EXTRA:

Gimme dat dress

I just want that dress to wear around my house. I legitimately bought an 18th century costume dress to do just that, so don’t think I won’t literally do this.

OKAY, WE ARE ALMOST TO THE END.

The crew, plus Guinan, go back to the cave where this all started:

Cave Club, the only club that meets in a cave

We get a nice look at the bodice of Guinan’s dress here and guess what: MORE BUTTONS. Buttons on the lapels, and also buttons on the front panel with the pointy top. I wonder if she has multiple front panels for that dress in different colors, like a Swatch watch.

Unbeknownst to them, Mark Twain followed them!! Then there’s a scuffle with the energy-stealing aliens during which a few things happen:

Data’s head flies off

Mark Twain gets sucked into the temporal disturbance

Guinan gets hurt

Picard stays behind to make sure Guinan is okay

So we end up with Mark Twain on the Enterprise, where he sees Worf, and he’s like:

Buh-WHAT

Worf is also confused:

This is...extremely perplexing

We have a few more looks back on the Enterprise, including Regular Guinan:

ShoulderSpreads™: The Bed Spread for Your Shoulders

I love love LOVE this outfit. The color is perfect, the shoulderspreads are perfect, the front draping is perfect. It looks like a velvet housedress from the 1960s except FANCY which is kind of my ideal aesthetic. And it’s red (my fave).

We get a quick glimpse at the barber uniform:

Bitch let me pass, idc if you wrote Huck Finn

This barber does. not. give. a. fuck!!!!

Geordi reattaches Data’s head, the one they already had, which means this whole thing was a ding dang closed loop. The reattachment also kind of diminishes the whole conversation they had earlier about how Data’s head in the cave meant that Data could die someday, because...he didn’t. He still might, but his head is back and he’s fine now.

Meanwhile, Picard is still back in 1893 and they have to go get him, but only one person can come back through the temporal disturbance, so Mark Twain is like “duh I’ll go get him.”

And finally Guinan and Picard can talk about how their friendship spans 500 years!!!!

Hey girl

Hey

YOU’RE WELCOME

*abolish the police

#SEASON 5 #SEASON 6 #TNG #TNG FASHION #STAR TREK #STAR TREK FASHION

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beclynn-herondale · 4 years

Text

Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 5 1/2

(long post)

Clary: Dear diary, so the Clave didn't end up punishing me because I didn't technically break any rules when I brought Jace back, but some peeps are staring at me still and like bish you're making me uncomfortable, also I don't know where Jace is and I feel this deep emptiness without him. I decided I am gonna ask the Seelie Queen for help, and no brain you ain't stopping me k, Alec and Izzy will be with me on this and Simon. Also just wait Sebastian just wait, I am gonna show you who to truly be afraid of. But first coffee

*Later*

So shit happened, I went to the Seelie Queen and she asked me to steal these rings, but like I was like no, but I decided to take them for myself, anyway I saw Jace and Sebastian, and Jace looked completely fine, he looked happy, like nothing is even bothering him, and then i said I didn't get the rings, like a lier, and that night Jace broke into my bedroom and we kinda kissed, and I found out he is basically a puppet for Sebastian, and if you hurt or kill Sebastian you hurt or kill Jace, and just whatever life whatever, also Sebastian stabbed Luke and now Luke may die, my mom is taking us to Magnus' and now that we are here he called it saint Magnus' for wayword Shadowhunters, and me and my mom got into a fight, she said stuff about Jace and like that's the thing I am sensitive about, so I decided to tell Simon to meet me and I shall run away and save Jace, I am always gonna be the knight and him the Damsel. Also Simon is the best friend, now I gotta go kill my brother. Need some coffee first.

Possessed Jace: Dear diary, all is well in the day of being evil and running around with Sebastian, he is alright, anyway we are off to cause chaos, I want to try and take Clary with us tho. Also I am not sure but something weird may have happened between me and Sebastian the other night, I can't remember exactly, but it was weird.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and I tried to take her with us but Sebastian had to be unpleasant, he may be hungry, he gets hangry when he doesn't eat enough, I plan on coming back for Clary though, oh also Luke got hurt, that one feels bad. Oh and Clary did come back and she is with us now, I love her. Oh also Sebastian and me have gotten up to some stuff, he is a genius, and he is so evil, I love it.

Jace: I am gonna murder him, this bish is so stupid, oh shit wait is this me again? I feel like I am banging on a wall. Who says love that much?

Alec: Dear diary, a lot has happened, Jace is still kidnapped and the Clave didn't end up punishing Clary, thank the angel. I am sneaking behind Magnus' back and I hate it but what else am I supposed to do?, Clary wants to meet with the Seelie Queen and I have a bad feeling about it, she isn't trustworthy, but I guess we have no choice cause the Clave won't help much anymore. Izzy is ready to fight anyone. Magnus is still not sharing much and is avoiding topics, and he doesn't know about Camille. But Camille is the worst, how could Magnus ever have dated her, he's so good and hot, and kind and sexy, he's also giving and attractive, he's beautiful and has a beautiful soul.

*Later*

Still sneaking around, still hate being around Camille. Jace apparently was at the Institute with Sebastian and they were acting like buddies, Jace is my parabatai, Sebastian you little shit. And then Jace and Sebastian went to Clary's house and attacked so now Clary is here at Magnus' and so is Jocelyn. Life keeps getting weirder, and everything is going to hell, if Jace were here, he'd have a way to lighten the mood.

Magnus: Dear diary, breathe Magnus, breathe, thankfully Biscuit is fine, Blondie is still kidnapped. Izzy and Simon have tension between them and I want nothing to do with that drama, I know.i usually like drama but Shadowhunter drama is a mess. Camille is god knows where, probably being evil. Sebastian is still on the loose, probably being evil as well, no definitely being evil. Alec has been distant lately. Chairman Meow is a comfort as always. I am trying to track down blondie, but I have had no luck, Sebastian is good I'll give him that. The Clave is a pain in my ass as usual. And the Seelie Queen is a raging bish, some things never change.

*Later*

So. . . Apparently Sebastian and blondie were at the Institute and after that attacked Clary and Jocelyn in their house, Luke was injured and hopefully will be okay. As always, Saint Magnus' is where Jocelyn and Clary went to, I am like the safe haven for wayword Shadowhunters. Clary and Jocelyn just got into a fight, Mother and Daughter drama is never one you want to get into the middle of but Biscuit isn't necessarily in the wrong here. But I don't want people to explode on me and Jocelyn would so. . . Anyway, I suspect Izzy will be here soon and maybe Simon. Hopefully we'll figure out where Jace is somehow, everyone is miserable and I never noticed how much of a light he actually was until he was gone, and yes I am surprised by those words myself.

Izzy: Dear diary, life is only chaos and a mess as usual, I can't get Simon out of my head and I don't know why, I have never been this way with someone before, ahhhhhhhhh. Anyway the Clave didn't punish Clary so that's good, I would have fought them if they had tried anything. Jace is still missing and we still have no idea where he is, the Clave is deciding he isn't a priority anymore, and if not for me wanting to play it cool I would have thrown some unkind words, but I am also not surprised. But we'll find Jace and save him, I won't accept anything else, there is no way in hell I am losing another brother.

*Later*

Clary saw Jace and Sebastian at the Institute and then apparently they broke in her house, and tried to take her, and Clary says Jace wasn't Jace, that he believed Sebastian was right and I swear whatever Sebastian did to my bro, he is gonna pay for. Still can't stop thinking about Simon and I want to punch a tree, Jace would have said "What did the tree ever do to you" I miss that weirdo, I am heading over the Magnus' cause that's where Clary and Jocelyn are, Luke got hurt bad, hopefully things will be alright. Also Simon wasn't at his and Jordan's apartment, I got a little drunk and may have spilled some stuff to Jordan and I regret it. Anyway I am gonna try to get ahold of Simon and ask him to come, there's something about him that comforts me.

Simon: Dear diary, life as a teenager has been so hard, as usual, being a vampire still kinda sucks, my mom hates me, Jace is still missing, Clary and Izzy are both wrecks, and I just want a chiller times. There's something between Jordan and Maia but I be staying away, I have no idea what me and Izzy are relationship wise, Clary thankfully didn't get in trouble with the Clave. Sebastian is creepy af. I think I am gonna listen to mcr and be angst.

*Later*

Shit got very real again, apparently Jace and Sebastian attacked Clary at her house and Luke was hurt, also apparently you can't hurt or kill Sebastian with hurting or killing Jace, that's just amazing isn't it. Clary and Jocelyn are at Magnus', - although Clary isn't anymore, in fact she is right in front of me telling me her crazy plan to go after Jace, Jocelyn is gonna go mama bear on me, but I can't stop Clary that's never been an option with her, apparently we are gonna keep in contact with the faerie rings Clary secretly stole, it keeps getting worse, this is all gonna be bad. And to top it off I am ignoring Becky and she is gonna come after me if I don't respond soon, but how can I when there's so much. - later, Izzy wants me at Magnus' and I still don't know what we are, but I'll always be there for her, if she lets me.

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, I have to say I have been having a lot of fun, Jace thinks something weird happened between us the others night, and something did but he'll never know what ;), I plan to kidnap my sister and take her with us no matter what it takes, me and Jace have plans, evil plans. We are at the Institute for something, and after that when night comes we plan to find my sister, I know Jace won't do anything without her, she's the only thing that keeps him not fully in my control. Anyway I am to do evil.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and she was mad, like I thought you'd be happy to see your boyfriend who has been missing, little sister. But apparently not? And I tried to kill that werewolf but he may survive. Mother will pay. Jace says he's sure Clary will come, honestly his love and trust in her is strange and I do not understand it, father would be disgusted, but I need Jace and I want Clary as well, so I'll do what it takes. Evil is out.

Church: Dear cat diary, I am so fucking done, you have no idea how done I am, Herondale and Fairchild did stuff in the past that led to Herondale getting possessed. Jem you would know what to do, please save me. Herondale is probably gonna have something tragic again *sigh*, Fairchild isn't gonna sit by and do nothing, it isn't in her blood. Lightwood 1 is off and I don't know what it is but he has something, Lightwood 2 may well explode as and I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that, tho I would like to see her go off on the Clave *cat grins*, Sebastian is another evil guy, why do I bother to learn their names? Jem if you were here, Simon is idk, he is doing something, Magnus is Magnus, and I may try and visit Chairman Meow, seeing them may help my cat stress levels. Everything is shit, the world is going to shit, and my Jem isn't here to save me, and I want some frickin tuna.

Tagging @chibi-tsukiko , idk if you want to be tagged in this but I know you said to start tagging you 🙈

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neo-shitty · 3 years

Note

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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kpoppedfanfics · 4 years

Text

You’re Mine - XiaoJun x Reader (Part 2)

Pairing: Xiaojun x female!reader (I think)

Genre: angst??? fluff kinda, smut >:3, possessive xiaojun, c r i n g e (probably), cursing

Part One

Y/n P.O.V.

It was midnight. You and Dejun had gotten home. Dejun was sleeping peacefully, one arm wrapped around your waist. You, on the other hand, were awake and staring at the ceiling. Why was he being like this? you thought.

You stared at the window and thought about Jisung. He would be able to help you.

You turned to look at the still sleeping Dejun. “I’m sorry,” you whispered and climbed out of bed, grabbing your phone and running out the door.

You ran to Jisung’s house, which was actually not that far away. You saw that the lights were off so you picked up a pebble and threw it at his window. A very sleepy Jisung looked out at you. “What do you want?” he asked tiredly.

“Help, maybe advice?” You looked at him pleadingly.

Jisung sighed and opened the door. “Come on in.”

You smiled gratefully and walked in, sitting on his bed.

Jisung yawned. “So what’s the matter?”

“Dejun.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Remember what happened yesterday when I talked to you?”

“Oh yeah.” Jisung smirked. “Did you guys have fun?”

You smacked his arm.

“Hey!” He whined, rubbing it.

“That’s for being a prat,” you glared.

“Sorry, sorry, please continue.” Jisung bowed mockingly.

You sighed and told him what happened.

Jisung was o-o

“Man, he’s possessive!” He exclaimed.

“That’s why I need your help,” you said. “I don’t know what to do. I love Dejun but I don’t like how he’s acting. He’s changed so much...”

Jisung thought for a bit. “Well, *gives good advice (a/n: because idk what lmao).”

You looked at Jisung shocked. “Who knew you had good thoughts in that brain of yours,” you asked teasingly.

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Everyone knew except you.”

You smiled. “Thanks.” You gave him a hug and walked outside.

“Good luck!” Jisung called.

You waved and walked back to yours and Dejun’s house.

When you walked back inside your house quietly, there was a surprise waiting for you.

Dejun was awake, leaning against the wall.

(a/n: expression like that maybe? ^ two pictures because xiaojun is so hot I can’t-)

“Look who decided to come back,” he growled.

You were scared. “C-come back from what?” You managed to stutter.

“I can track your phone, remember?” Dejun held up his phone to show you.

You cursed mentally for forgetting about that. “W-well I was just with-”

“You were with that piece of shit Jisung,” Dejun frowned. “Are you cheating on me?!”

“N-no I would never!” You defended yourself.

Dejun pushed you against the wall. “Then why were you with him?”

“We were just talking...”

“About what? Cheating? Going behind my back?”

That’s when you snapped.

“Why are you so possessive all the time?! It’s always me doing this, me doing that, why can’t you just let me live normally and have a normal life! I’m a person just like you-”

You were cut off by Dejun slapping you. You were shocked. You had never seen him this angry before.

“You need to learn to respect me,” Dejun hissed. “You can’t do what you want.”

He rips your clothes off of you. You shiver at the cold air but you have no time to think because Dejun is thrusting into you at inhuman speed.

It might have felt good but all you felt was pain. “A-ah,” you yelled, it was to harsh for you.

“P-please Dejun!” You begged. “It hurts!”

“First you talk to a guy while I’m there, then when I tell you not to talk to him you sneak out!” He spat. “You need to learn a lesson.”

“It’s too much!” You cried, tears streaming down your face.

Dejun stopped thrusting. He pulled out of you but pushed you to your knees. “Suck and maybe I’ll forgive you,” he said, pointing to his dick.

You nodded and took his length in your mouth. You bobbed your head up and down, how he liked it.

Dejun groaned. “Keep going, I’m close,” he said, grabbing your hair harshly.

You kept going and soon he came, cumming on your mouth.

He looked at you, how you were messy and in tears, and smirked, saying the words you didn’t want to hear.

“You will never see the light again.”

the end~

a/n: ahaahiohkdsljfb how was it

it sucks lmao

anyways that’s the end uwu

imma make a Felix ff soon for one of my friends tho lol

baiii

#nct #nct smut #xiaojun #xiaojun smut #xiaojun x reader #wayv #wayv smut

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 5 years

Text

you’re not the poison; it’s me.

... um. titans 2.07 absolutely WRECKED me you guys, and i would like to tell you why in excruciating detail:

SPOILERS ahead

(and before i go ahead, i just want to say this: this episode deals with ptsd and psychosis and suicidal ideation explicitly, in ways that even i found difficult to watch. it’s very intense. please keep that in mind if you decide to watch it.)

1. usually genre tv shows like to pile on the trauma but deal with its fallout either rarely or in oblique ways--shots of the character brooding, a couple of ‘candid’ talks filled with frustrating euphemisms, then it’s on to tackling the next plot point. not titans tho--for this show, the trauma is very much the point. the plot is wafer-thin and takes a backseat as the show takes episode after episode to break down its central characters and hammer it in that there are no easy fix-its for complex trauma, and that Dealing with it is a continuous, sometimes lifelong process. it forces you to keep re-evaluating and re-contextualising the actions of these characters and challenges your assumptions.

1.5. for instance: let’s take donna troy. in s1 she was the put-together big sister to dick, content with living her life outside the superhero community while giving sound advice to dick about how he can get his own life back on track. now? she’s a stressed, paranoid wreck, plagued by horrible memories and taking her insecurities out on dick and jason and whoever else is available. deathstroke’s machinations aside, there’s something deeply dysfunctional about the way the original titans operated, the ways they brought both the best and the worst out of each other. it seems like none of them really understood the seriousness of what they were doing until they did something truly terrible that they couldn’t take back, and it was earth-shattering enough that donna completely abandoned her old life to live as a civilian. trigon’s vision for her in 2.01 reminded her that she was fooling herself; coming back to titans tower and actually having to face what made her run away in the first place has broken down the walls she’s spent five years putting up. it’s not pretty to watch, but... it tracks.

2. after having written post after post about dick cracking under relentless stress and the weight of his own guilt complex, it was startling to see him actually fall apart. halluci!bruce was absolutely brutal and really brought home the fact that Good Lord, Dick Grayson Is So Far From Okay That It’s Not Even Funny Anymore.

because here’s the thing: dick is deeply unwell, and however the show proceeds with his character from here on out, this episode made absolutely no bones about that fact. his single-minded dash to find and kill slade is framed as both irrational and suicidal. he’s visibly on edge, bursting into bouts of uncontrollable rage. he’s shown to carry a guilt complex the size of mount everest, to the point where it actually seems delusional. he’s fucking terrified of abandonment, to the point where he’d rather cut off ties on his own rather than have others leave him. he’s constantly berating himself and this doesn’t give him a moment to sit down and think and try to form a rational plan. halluci!bruce even mentions meds and “uppers and downers” to cope, and i am genuinely concerned that that was what dick actually did to cope in the immediate aftermath of whatever the fuck went down with him and joey and deathstroke. maybe it’s ptsd with a secondary psychosis triggered by nearly losing jason the same way he lost his parents (and massive sleep deprivation, i imagine), or maybe there’s another underlying chronic mental illness. either way, he needs help.

man but halluci!bruce was vicious. if this is what dick has running in his head at all times, no wonder he broods, and no wonder he takes others admonishing his choices with barely any protest!

2.25. looking at this from a different perspective, tho, here’s another way in which bruce wayne functions as a symbol on this show. phantom!bruce is how dick normally externalises everything he hates about himself, and this dynamic plays out very literally in this episode.

interestingly, and somewhat heartbreakingly, it took dick accepting and internalising his low opinion of himself and his veritable ocean of guilt for judgy!bruce wayne to turn into loving, concerned!bruce wayne, who would comfort dick and wipe his tears. (it is entirely heartbreaking that that’s what dick subconsciously craves from bruce.) dick must debase himself for love and acceptance. it’s fucking tragic.

2.55. and what does it mean--for dick and for his friendships with the og titans--that he’s so convinced that they would leave him if he told them the truth about jericho? for one, even back then, it seemed like dick was doing a lot of the emotional labour for the team: as a leader he both funnelled and executed the team’s plans, with responsibility for the fallout falling unevenly and mostly on his shoulders; he acted as the go-between for the team and bruce, for donna and garth, probably for hank and dawn, given he was dawn’s rebound. later, hank and dawn are visibly concerned by how viciously he fights. after re-forming the titans, he continues to shoulder responsibility for the shit-show that deathstroke rains on them, although he didn’t know deathstroke was alive when he re-opened the tower. of course he thinks that the team will think that he’s beyond redemption if they find out the truth; of course he’d want to go and finish off deathstroke on his own--or die in the process--before any of them finds out.

2.75. but guys, here’s the thing: in spite of all of this, dick grayson still went around to check on conner and jason and assure the latter that he didn’t blame him for running off on his own. he saw jason standing there on a precipice right at the end, and decided he was going to be opaque anymore, or fall back on what he learned from bruce. he sits down with jason and finally divulges the secret that he had been willing to die to protect--making himself vulnerable to save jason’s life. he’s trying so goddamn hard even though his brain is rioting against him right now and probably has been for years. it’s just--i can’t imagine a truer, more sensitive portrayal of dick grayson than this.

3. watching jason reach his breaking point was,,, Not Fun. it’s one thing to be seemingly passed on like unwanted baggage from guardian to guardian. to be viewed with contempt and impatience when he just wants to make sure his voice isn’t lost in the constant shuffle. to be looked at as an impostor by the very people he looks upto. to be assigned the role of hot-headed fuck-up despite all his attempts to be useful, to prove himself. but to have all of that fall on him all at once on top of (poorly) dealing with a near-death experience? yikes.

3.25. and the horrible, tragic, human part of it all is that donna and the others probably didn’t even know what they were doing to jason by piling on him like that? he’s a relative outsider to both rachel and the og titans. he’s an arrogant prick that’s easy to hate. without dick and gar to stand up for jason, he’s cornered by people who haven’t even gotten to the point of seeing him as a vulnerable kid that’s struggling, just like the rest of them.

3.5. and so the two robins perch on the ledge, each convinced that they are poison that will either kill or drive their friends away. it’s a fraught moment of connection that stops jason from jumping, but he doesn’t step away. both of them are on a precipice in more ways than one; i can only hope they help each other land on the right side.1

also, bruce wayne? send your sons to therapy MY GOD

4. kory and rachel using their awesome powers in concert to cure conner! kory using her cultural background to connect to and help conner! conner mumbling in kryptonian! krypto fucking shooting across the sky with eve on his back! in such a sad and intense episode, it’s important to remember that some fantastic things happened as well!

5. here’s the thing: i don’t think dick killed jericho in the way that he probably thinks he does. dick is a hugely unreliable narrator--that’s been his Thing since s1. part of me thinks jericho should be dead; whatever happened with him and the titans has been built up to be such an earth-shattering event that it would kinda be cheating if he survived anyway. the other bigger part of me says: fuck that noise. JOEY WILSON LIVES, and that’s that

6. gar was sleeping? are you kidding me??? i’m assuming deathstroke drugged him or something so that he wouldn’t be there to Talk Sense and stop these melodramatic fools from tearing into each other. i can only hope that there’s some Big Plans for him down the line.

#titans #titans spoilers #dick grayson #jason todd #donna troy #bruce wayne #cw suicide #cw mental illness #meta

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risingmoonyue · 5 years

Text

Batman/P5 Crossover

-Sometime before Akechi but after Futaba or Haru

-Damian is sent to Tokyo to check it out for whatever reason (maybe they had a fight, or he’s going stir crazy, or he’s just the only one they can send at the time and didn't bother with all that "you're not old enough" business)

-Dami is younger than Futaba by a year or three or four

-He is baby

-He is transferred to Shujin as a child prodigy where he also immediately joins the "outcast" community because of his attitude and intelligence

-Talia goes too, manages to cut off all his communications with the Batfam, and is planning to take him home in a month whether he likes it or not

-For whatever reason, Batfam doesn't realize this??? (Like, either she's faking reports or they're too busy (think fight or chaos in Gotham scenario maybe???))

-Anyways, obviously Dami doesn't want this

-Somehow the Phantom Thieves hear about the situation

-Maybe he was assigned to shadow Makoto for a while, and they managed to overhear a phone conversation either to Talia or Dami trying to get in touch with the Batfam and nothing really working

-And eventually they outright see him fighting with his mother with him at some point (either in person or over a phone call) mentioning that she already disowned him, he's happy with his Father's family, and that he will head her family business over his dead body—and oh would you look at that, you already managed that, care to try again Mother?

-The PT's are understandably alarmed

-And learn her name from Damian (from Makoto maybe or someone else he bonded a little with) (MORGANA) (THEY GAVE HIM MONA FOR A DAY AND NOW THEY KNOW EVERYTHING FROM HIS MANY PETS TO HIS LEAST TO MOST FAVORITE SIBLINGS STARTING FROM TIM TO DICK TO HIS FAVORITE FOODS TO EVERYONE IN HIS FAMILY’S NAMES TO HOW STUPID HE FINDS EVERYONE AND WHY THEY'RE STUPID TO HIS FAVORITE MUSIC TO WHY ANIMALS ARE SUPERIOR TO HUMANS AND MONA’S LIKE OMG TMI BUT LOVED IT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS PAMPERED LIKE NO TOMORROW GOT ONLY THE BEST FOOD AND THE BEST BEDS AND TOYS THAT HE GOT TO TAKE WITH HIM BACK TO LEBLANC AND NOW AKIRA AND SOJIRO ARE LIKE DUDE WHY AND MONA’S LIKE IM KEEPING HIM THIS HUMAN IS GOOD SORRY AKIRA YOU’RE DEMOTED)

-The palace is basically a fortress full of assasin ninjas and clones

-Dunno what her keywords are tho

-Or her what her palace actually is

-Help?????????

-Cognitive Bruce, Ra's, Damian, Dami clones, and Jason (maybe rest of batfam??? Idk)

-Long story short, the traps are so assassin-y that they need someone who knows the actual Talia because egads, this is the closest they have all come to actually dying

-And they didn't really want to do it and were just gonna power through

-But Dami manages to find out and get in and of course uses his background to help out whether they like it or not

(-he's slightly off put by Joker's name, but then decides to just solely call Gotham!Joker "The Clown")

-At some point they are captured by the Shadow Talia who is decked out in super fancy traditional Arab clothing and probably every conceivable hidden weapon known to man

-Talia says Damian won't and can't ever change from who he "is meant to be", referring to him as her Alexander and basically brutally addresses all of his insecurities concerning the batfam and people and society in general

-And all this is kinda killing him cause he still loves Talia despite the fact that she killed him and had a violent citywide custody battle with Batman but he also loves the batfam too even if he would absolutely never admit it (except to maybe Grayson)

-Joker does his emotional kick-start thing and/or Dami is like Makoto and just gets so mad he triggers it himself, but either way, lo and behold, Damian is now a persona user, usurping Futaba's place as the baby of the team

-The outfit is kinda inspired by his future adult league outfit with the top and bottom and gold jewelry, but has a raggedy cloak with dull gold edges, a Robin mask and gauntlets, and his main weapons are batarang-sword hybrids

---acknowledging his past and moving on with his present

-Persona: Aladdin, Tsun Zu, Ali Baba, somone else???? Need ideas plz help

-Probably the fastest member of the group

-His small body makes his hits not as strong, but hoo boy can that kid move around

-Hits a lot and dodges most

-Most of his Persona abilities are physical and have high crit and/or are status affects

-Downside is he has not a lot of SP (compared to the rest of the group)

-And he has pretty good HP

-Those good ol' “superior genetics” have to be good for something after all

-Anyways they escape to find the treasure another day

-And Dami is all smug because HA you definitely can't stop me now

-And the PTs are just resigned to keeping an eye on the extremely competent snotty assassin/vigilante child

-They do like him though so it's not too bad (comes with learning all his darkest secrets via his mother and thought processes that tends to accompany watching someone at their lowest get a persona)

(-They do manage to temper him a bit and help him adjust better to actual society too that's nice)

-As such, they also know about Batman and Robin and his whoooole family. Both sides.

-Damian decided not to tell batfam because he does agree with the whole "most adults suck" mentality that the Phantom Thieves have; despite his deep, deep respect for his father and mother and Grayson, they all do kinda suck

-And he’s rather not get pulled out as he surely would if he told them

(-On a side note, he likes Sojiro

-The man gives him coffee, curry, and leaves him mostly to his own devices

-Instant win)

-He is dubbed "Mockingbird" apon return to the metaverse because of his freaky talented vocal skills in mimicking anyone and everyone's voice

-Eventually, they beat Talia

-She doesn't publicly confess to all her sins unlike everyone else

-PTs don't realize it worked until Damian came into school with a genuine smile on his face, and more relaxed than he'd been since he got there

-PTs are confused until Damian's like, this works out because hey, don't want to have several people assassinated and draw the entire freaking league to Tokyo

(-Which was probably why Talia didn't)

-They agree

-But she does break down to tears in Dami's arms and promise to ACTUALLY TALK CIVILLY with Bruce to try and make up for everything and try to fix up the league

-He stays for the rest of p5

-But steers all his reports very much away from the Phantom Thieves

-If anything, he downplays absolutely everything, and makes it seem like it's nothing super big but he's gonna stay a while to keep and eye out because y'alls are busy and I like it here and I haven't gotten expelled so there

-The PTs like to add funny stuff on there just to see if they’ll notice

-Like, Akira likes to have Dami describe his day in excruciating detail. Like, recounting the entirety of his nine or so months to Sae during police interrogation, excruciating

-Mona is pushing for the shiny stuff

-Yusuke just likes to put in bursts of randomness (Dami once mentioned that an acquaintance made another acquaintance T-pose in a church for art lol)

-Ann loves to rant about food

-Haru is always insisting on about feelings

-Ryuji likes to complain about everything and puts in ridiculous requests

-Futaba is just putting in every gen-z thing ever

-Makoto is actually responsible and tries to get him to talk about his progress in school and his social life

-And Akechi is absolutely nowhere near any of this and doesn’t know it exists

-When they have the Tokyo/Japan-wide calling card, Batfam sees it too because let's face it, that's totally the sorta thing that they would keep an eye out for even if he didn't look at the news in the entirety of the time Dami was in Tokyo

-And they send a message to Damian (the first actual communication they've had since before Talia) saying "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON OVER THERE????"

-And with the entirety of the Phantom Thieves looking over his shoulder, Damian's just like "Chill dudes, everything's fiiiiiiiiiine"

-And they're like "UH WHAT PART OF THIS IS FINE????" because they've dug around a bit and found every news report, and oh hey, this isn't anywhere near as calm as Damian described and he’s being super OOC and what’s going on?!?!?!?!?!

-And Damian, being egged on by the most of the PTs, just sends a winky face

-Just

-😉

-And he's smug, because it's still chaos over there so they can't actually come get him and try to pull him out because he's being super ooc

-Which means he's free to do what he wants/needs in the meantime

-Cue the end of the game

-And Dami is going with them on their summer road trip and cackling because the batfam is scrambling to find him in Tokyo but lol nope he's in a van the Japanese government tried and fail to follow

-And he found all the trackers like, a year ago

-Every

-Single

-One

-They eventually track him down to Akira's house where they're calmly eating dinner (and they've been expecting this for the past week so Mona was keeping watch just so they could pull this off) and talking about how uneventful the school year was

-Cue mass confusion in the batfam

-As the PTs enjoy just confusing them so much

-By talking to Mona

-Talking normal then crazy then normal again

-And just generally being their normal selves lol

-They explain absolutely nothing beyond gushing about how much progress socially and academically he’s made (gotta embarrass the baby of the group somehow) and making sure that if Dami absolutely has to go home that he's able to stay in touch

(-Later, Damian forms his own hero persona outside of Batman and Robin)

(-He names it Mockingbird)

(-Batfam proceeds to have a brain aneurysm while the PTs dab their happy proud tears out of their eyes on their regularly scheduled tea time at the Wayne Manor)

(-Damian sends a private plane every week or two lol)

(Bonus: ARTTTTTTT)

(Psst if you guys have ideas for art, outfits, interactions or scenarios, let me know)

#my writing #my art #batman #persona 5 #p5 #persona #batman x p5 #damian wayne #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #p5 protagonist #ive been holding onto this one for a wHILE

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skzluvs · 5 years

Text

Wish you were gay; Hwang Hyunjin

Genre: Pure Fluff! Little bit of Angst

Warnings: None

Word count: 1.5 K

A/N: This is just a small filler since I’m currently working on a Felix Au! but I hope you guys really like it.

“Oh Hwang Hyunjin how much I wish you were gay

Your lack of interest it's been killing me inside

And I can’t stand another day with A growing pain inside my chest

You are cold hearted

Always living up to your title "Ice prince"

I'm the only one who knows you aren't as ruthless as you pretend to be

I have the ability to see right through your persona

But you continuously keep on pushing me away

Despite all of your attempts to avoid my feelings

I'm still here trying to make you understand that my love for you is genuine

Only if one day you were able to see that I'm here

That I've been trying to make you feel okay

As you seem to ignore all of my efforts

I wish you were gay so I could feel less miserable at your indifference”

Who’s not yours but dreams to be sincerely Y/N.

You walked through the corridor holding the little pink notebook which held the unaddressed letters as you were never able to deliver them. They were meant to say all of those unwanted thoughts that lately became loud in your head. You wondered if one day you were going to be able to say all those things to Hyunjin face to face.

Impossible, you thought as you shoved the book into your matching pastel pink backpack. You took a seat at the back of the classroom. Because you knew he liked to seat there. Where he couldn’t be bothered by the rest of the students.

You waited impatiently for his entrance. As usual he will be early because he hated the unnecessary attention. Nonetheless he already got enough for being the most popular student on the whole school.

You tapped your pencil into the desk in exasperation as you heard steps coming your way. You bit your lip trying to suppress the smile that was slowly creeping into your face. There he was wearing a simple white hoodie along with his denim jeans. Casual but still dazzling.

And the truth is that Hwang Hyunjin would make anything look good.

- Hyun...”- you tried to call him but as he walked passed you he didn’t even spared to look your way and continued his tracks to his own seat.

Your smile suddenly became a frown. It was not a novelty that you were being ignored by him but it still hurts to be treated so cruelly.

The bell rang announcing the end of the period

You tried to gather your things slowly as people ran their ways to the door excited for Lunch time. You didn’t mind staying a little longer to be alone with Hyunjin you knew how much he avoided crowds specially the ones involving frenetic students forming during lunch.

When the classroom was empty he stood up from his desk and walked with his hand on his front pockets. Always giving off that cool unapproachable vibe.

You were always mesmerized by his beauty but what attracted you was simply that stubbornness he tried so hard to maintain.

You didn’t tried to hold a conversation with him this time because you weren’t ready to be rejected twice in the span of an hour. Therefore you let him go as you watch him from behind.

After you have gotten your lunch you sat down in one of the tables that were outside the lunchroom. were everything seemed more quiet and reserved just like hyunjin liked. You knew his usual spot was just a few tables away from yours near the big blossom tree.

Pulling out your notebook you wrote

“You are colder than the winter but with a gaze that can melt

Open your heart to me and I’ll never let it freeze

Let me be the sunshine that warms your feelings up when it’s under 0 degrees”

And there he was eating his food in such a tranquil way that it even made you feel contented at the peaceful sight. Some girls approached him breaking the harmonious atmosphere.

You observed carefully as he send them death stares from disturbing him but they didn’t seemed to care as they sat down trying to caught his attention. You knew hyunjin couldn’t stand people following him and trying to talk to him just because of his popularity. So you thought about helping him even if he treated you as harshly as he treated the rest.

You made your way to the table. The girls were obnoxiously giggling and hyunjin kept on looking uncomfortably at the cold food that rested on his plate.

He was more of ignoring them than actually telling people off he acted heartless but he definitely wasn’t rude.

“Hey Ladies aren’t you supposed to have somewhere else to be” you said clearing your throat to make yourself noticed.

“Y/N don’t you have books to read go back to dreamland and mind your own business” The leader spoke, looking at you in disbelief.

Your knees shakes a little what were you doing standing up for the boy who didn’t even acknowledge your existence. It seemed stupid but you were surely not going to regret this.

“Books actually increase your intellect you should try reading some one of these days I mean there’s still lots of space in that empty head of yours” You backfired with confidence.

“ Are you trying to pick up a fight with me” she said defying me.

“certainly not, but hyunjin and I have things to discuss so I’m politely asking you all to leave”

“Hyunjin doesn’t have time to waste on someone like you Y/N stop saying nonsense and get lost”

“ Well it seems like he doesn’t want any of you here since you basically invited yourselves he’s just nice enough to not tell you that you are bothersome but I am not that nice so why don’t you go and trouble someone else’s lunch time” You smile sarcastically at them and they walked off not before telling Hyunjin they’ll talk later.

After they left silence filled out the whole entire ambience. You were about to speak but he turned his head looking the other way with his cold face. You weren’t expecting a thank you or anything but it seemed like your presence wasn’t too pleasant for hyunjin either.

knowing you were never going to be able to reach someone so highly illustrious as him you lowered your head. Thinking how stupid was for you to keep on trying you seemed like a push over that’s probably what he thinks of you YN- you said as a whisper before you pulled your bag from the table and threw it on your shoulder walking off with nothing but shame.

Back in the classroom you were writing math notes when a sudden thought came across your mind.

Today you had been ignored multiple times and you needed you pour all those sad thoughts into your confident. Scanning your bag the pink covered book was nowhere to be found and desperation was all you could feel.

You excused yourself from the classroom as you tried to search for that such important diary everywhere. At the lunchroom, at the tables, at the restroom, the hallways, your own locker everywhere.

You were about to go insane those pages held more than your immense admiration for hyunjin it held the pain of an unrequited love. If someone was to read your letters you were screwed.

What if the girls stole it and they tell hyunjin what if you become the biggest joke of the school and everyone laughs at how pathetic you truly are.

You were terrified to say the least you ran to the cherry blossom tree and slide yourself holding your knees as the tears started to fall off your face.

You felt a slight tap on your shoulder as you were Uncontrollably sobbing. You tried wiping your tears away trying to focus on the person in front of you with blurry vision you were still able to recognize his beautiful face.

“Y/N don’t cry” He said offering you a tissue.

He knew your name you were in a state of shock.

He always pretended not to see you what was he doing now.

When you calmed down a little he offered you a hand so you could stand up.

“Do you really wish I was gay?” he asked confused hiding a big authentic smile.

“What?” you asked even more confused than him until your brain clicked.

He knew

You went speechless your mouth went dry and all You wanted was crying again and hide forever the embarrassment of your worst nightmare.

“How-... I-” you said stumbling down your own words

He lifted a pastel pink covered book that he has been hiding all this time behind his back.

God you wanted to deny it all but you were into deep now. He had all the proof in his own hands.

“I don’t really think you meant it tho” he said getting closer to your face.

“You don’t really wish I was gay because if I was I wouldn’t be able to kiss you” He said almost brushing your pink lips with his own plump ones.

You closed your eyes hoping to close the proximity between them but they felt empty as he rapidly ran from you smiling

“You can kiss me if you can catch me” he said teasing me while holding the book.

I ran behind him giggling at his childish attitude.

For the first time You got to experience the real Hyunjin and You certainly couldn’t be more in love with him.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids blurbs #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #stray kids school au #stray kids au #hwang hyunjin #lee minho #han jisung #bang chan #lee felix #seo changbin #kim seungmin #kim woojin #yang jeongin #kpop #wish you were gay #billie eilish

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mythykl · 5 years

Text

**That’s right. It’s time for Kakashi x reader Bitches

“Kakashi? Kakashi??” You couldn't comprehend why Rin had locked you in a dark room with hIMmm, and you held his hand the whole time, cuz’ ya 13yo ass was scared af. Once you guys were let out, you saw Rin and Obito fist bumping each other.

That's when obito blurts- "Being the ones to know how much you like Y/n, you should've seen this coming!"

"Baka! Shut up Obito, y/n doesn’t kn-" rin whispered

lmao. You're ass went speechless. Kakashi's hold tightened and he dragged you outside the academy.

before dating, he was pretty much a jerk to you, but it was through rin that you both get to know each other more personally,,, and still,, he continued to act like a jerk

well. once he took you outside, he decided to confess. His voice seemed shaky and he didn’t- couldn’t really speak out exactly what he wants,,

“Kakashi, quit beating round’ the bush.. And the way you’ve held my hand it’s hurt-”

In the mid sentence- he just,, pulled you into a hug,, and whispered how much he likes you and asked you out!

you guys ended up having a beautiful time on your trip/date, at naka river, and,, tho no one really mentions, you both start dating *an unspoken understandin i guess?* on ya second date you guys prolly went for treking! *well i’m imagining that you aren’t a ninja*

You were by far the only one to see his face w/o mask

By now you had gotten used to obito’s clingy ass. though kakashi rants too much about him, you know, he loves him. Rin helps you a lot with dating advices,, somehow

Minato sensei teased you kiddos,, a lot. “At your age, all i used to do was keep staring at kushina,” he joked once.

He was a huge chatter and a curious ass fella surprisingly, you’re boyfriend talked to you about most of the things he learnt in mission, every goddamn theory he had in his mind, his likings and dislikings, his interest in Dōjutsu etc. You could feel how lonely he used to be, cuz he felt no one would listen

you’d join him during his training at times, well that time you got to know that throwing a kunai isn’t as easy at it looks, your wrist hurt af

once kakashi had called you princess after kissing you in front of your friends, this commenced to everyone calling you by that name. especially Gai and obito

After obioto and eventually, rin’s death *ofc* you guys drifted apart; drastically. You couldn’t understand or help him through his immense remorse and regret while he would just,, either had a huge tantrum or not say anything at all. He said things like- it’s better to stay alone, and have no one to lose- while breaking up, which hurt you a lot. within a few months, you guys didn't even cross paths in konoha streets since he became heavily loaded with anbu missions

Now that it has been like,,, a really long time; one day you see the konoha’s infamous Naruto with his team at the door, with a huge flower bouquet.

“Please accept this!” The girl with pink hair squeals.

“It cost us our whole savings but Ino-kun did give us a good amount of discount after hearing these are for kakashi-sensei’s date dattebayo!” naruto,, practically screames.

“Hold your horses; that’s not how you greet people.” the,, uchiha? Yes. he concludes blandly.

Your heart skips a beat on hearing your long-time-no-see lover’s name. Knowing him, you highly doubt that he sent them but still you ask.

“No ma’am, but we-once- managed to sneak into his Icha Icha Paradise, he’d written your name.. In it.. So we found you. You are sensei’s date aren’t you!?” the girl with pink hair, yes sakura, almost whispers to you.

ah.

“Yeah. That was a hell of a long time ago,” you smile.

You let them in and offer some tea. You guys talk a lot and they were astonished?- yes, more than astonished that you’ve seen him w/o mask. Ah ok

Wow they had already done huge ass planning beforehand to make you both meet *not that you know*. As you take them downstairs to bid adieu, you see kakashi,, literally,, standing, in front of you’re door. Both of you equally shocked.

Kakashi and you start talking to each other. You apologize for not sticking around since you didn’t know how to help him let go of his pain while he apologizes for bein a jerk-? Ok.

You guys plan to hangout-, which is the most difficult part! You had to work in the morning hours while he had to stick with team 7 for missions by afternoon

you guys ended up deciding on crashing at each other’s places at night, and also,, sometimess early in the morning *???* it gets tougher for him with time to juggle from place to place, thus, getting late for his missions

You guys end up moving in together *it’s official* and he sleeps closest to the window. yes.

He’s very protective of you and kinda the jealous type, he’s afraid of losing you and is very open about expressing it. He doesn’t give you nicknames but often call you stuff as ‘my other half’ and refers you w -chan *just being sarcastic*

You are like a mum to team 7 and they love you, you get them lunch at times. Sakura often asks you for advice to get sasuke,, but udk what to say since sasuke.. Is just sasuke *he reminds you of 13yo kakashi*. But uk that there’s a special bond between them

kakashi doesn’t hate PDA, but he doesn’t like it either; you guys for long walks in the evenings, occasionally hold hands. Is it obvious to others? Don't know. Butt once you caught kurenai and asuma kissing.. Twas’ hella kyut

He would also rest his chin on you head a lot, and likes to intertwine his fingers with yours when you guys are alone

Hugs aren’t his thing but if you hug him, he’ll slowly hug you back and then all at once melt into you, Anddd he’s warm af

twice you caught him, just in underwear, slurping ramen in the middle of the night and you were like,, wait wut-

He loves ya massages and loves to cut vegetables,, for some reason,,

Big cuddle person in bed

You love trying different hairstyles on him anddd he looks dead ass hot in most of em. Let’s just agree,, he has a better taste in style than you tf

You guys usually opt for trips to neighbouring villages, hot spring trips, camping etc

Tho mysterious and sarcastic, he opens up to you whenever needed. Unlike in childhood, now you’re the one who talks a lot. He agrees to feel acknowledged for being himself whenever he’s with you and like a prodigy, sharingan bearing, functioning human, as people call him. His brain lets go of all his insecurities and PTSD for a while when he sees you happy because of him

He often loses track of time during his frequent visits to the memorial stone where Obito's name is engraved; you understand that he needs some alone time for this ritual and this, don’t tag along

Well now, even you've started reading icha icha series cuz’ of ya moron boyfriend, and you are hooked to it *since I basically imagine it to be the fifty shades of grey in naruto universe lol* you guys freakin end up trying shit from the book

“Baby, let’s be sexy,, together” he said once as he leaned againt the kitchen counter in the most sexy way.

“Sure senpai, why the book’s tactics won’t work?” he just laughed hysterically at the comeback.. And,, umm.. You get what happens

He likes braiding your hair, especially before sleep, he finds it relaxing

Whenever his ass displays a bored and unenthusiastic expression, you say, “go bald kakashi.” right. What a mature insult

He’s very calm and observant and knows what you are feeling- or even what you are thinking. I mean how-?

He asks you to make miso soup, with eggplant, a lot!

Your parents aren’t really sure of your relationship. Since he wears wut? a maskkKkk. And once Kakashi, still being as apathetic as he was during his youth, spoke bluntly about sensitive topics with them during a discussion

gai gifted you both matching Yukata on ya bday. that’s indeed beautiful and thoughtful of him.

well Your boyfriend sucks at selecting gifts.. He gets you things that can’t be used or idk.. ButTttt this man is too good at remembering dates

People wonder if he’s stern and serious, judging by his past and repo, but you tell them that he isn’t! Well, he has decided to move on, and now you know how to support him. He knows that you appreciate him for that, and this he listens to you.

you just found an engagement ring on you night stand with letter beside it. congrats hun *instant panic*

...

i hope you enjoyed ;))

i need to,,, stop imagining so much, it's a lot to type. i wish i had a gadget or something through which my imagination would get typed, systematically, on my pc. Btw i won’t be uploading much in September since i gotta study so. so don’t assume that i’m dead or don’t care anymore.

this one was requested by two peps, since my ass is new on tumblr i kinda fucked up and thus, my inbox got cleared or something. i’m still learning k

ya that’s it.. imma go and read my icha icha now ah huh

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ladynuwanda · 6 years

Text

Heart of Darkness (Michael LangdonXFemale Reader) - Chapter 4: Sealed with a Kiss

Waking up at a place you don’t know where it is having no idea how the hell you’ve gotten there. What fun.

All I could feel was a blinding pain at the back of my head, but when I tried to bring a hand to it I saw that I couldn’t move it. In fact I couldn’t move at all. Anything except my eyes, and I was looking around madly, as best as I could, panic growing in my chest. I was lying on a hard surface, like a table, in a dim-lit room, I could see there was someone else in the room from the corner of my eyes.

It was a man, not much more than a boy, walking busily around the room, lighting candles and reciting words in what sounded like Latin. When he turned around I lost my breath for a moment and I felt like my heart had skipped a beat. He had the most beautiful face I had even seen in my life, framed by silky golden curls. It’s not an exaggeration when I say he looked like an angel. His face looked positively radiant, specially in contrast with his black clothes, but his expression was so utterly miserable, it was sort of heartbreaking.

He stopped by the table, speaking louder now (definitely Latin, and although I couldn’t quite make out the actual meaning of the words, it already sounded ominous enough) and I saw a flash of silver when he raised his red gloved hands. A knife. Oh, shit! I would have screamed if I could make a sound. The fact that he didn’t look very happy either was no consolation. He looked at me like he was about to apologise and I could tell something made him stop on his tracks. “You’re not a virgin”, he furrowed his brows at me.

Panic gave place to confusion, and I felt a crease appearing between my eyebrows as well. He rolled his eyes muttering “oh, fuck it” under his breath. With a careless red wave of one hand whatever was holding me still was gone, and I could move again. I sat up on the table as he walked to an armchair and sat down looking exhausted. I knew I was definitely not off whatever hook he had me on, but I couldn’t avoid the warm feeling of relief that took me when he dropped the knife to the floor by the armchair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You were supposed to be a virgin. I can’t believe Miss Mead got it wrong... she was never wrong, you see? Not my Miss Mead!”, I was thinking that it was funny the way he said “my Miss Mead”, like everyone was supposed to have a Miss Mead, but that made me think of the lady I met at work. She had pleasant manners and sparkly green eyes, and I remember thinking I wanted to look half as cool when I got to her age, with the faux mohawk and black lipstick... the pain on the back of my head stung again. Whoever this Miss Mead was, she probably knocked me unconscious and dragged me to this place.

He was still muttering to himself and I had no idea what I was supposed to do or say when his blue gaze fell on me again “... I mean, you ARE the girl from the library, right?”. I nodded stupidly. “And you’re not a virgin... now that’s a surprise!”, I wasn’t sure if I should be more offended that he simply assumed I was a virgin because I worked in the library, or by his disgusted tone when he said I wasn’t. I couldn’t tell exactly what kind of shaming he was giving me, but I knew there was some. And to my surprise I heard myself saying “I’m sorry” like a complete idiot.

“Well, you should be! You were supposed to serve a greater purpose, I was supposed to consume the heart of a virgin tonight... but now I can’t, can I? Miss Mead is already back at Kineros to have her memory erased and it’s too late for me to find and capture someone else before the eclipse is over.”, very little of what he said made any sense to me, and he seemed to be talking more to himself anyway, but I think I got the meaning of the part about consuming a heart. Consuming. What a civilised way to say he was gonna cut my chest open with that silver knife of his, rip my bloody heart out and eat it raw before my corpse was even cold. “All because you humans have to succumb to lust all the time... was it lust, or are you gonna tell me it was love?”, his icy blue eyes were on me again.

What was I going to say? Should I tell him it was love? Would that somehow make me less tainted, and therefore more eligible for heart-eating? Why should I even be honest to this psycho? Was I supposed to open my metaphorical heart to this very literal heart-eater? What for? But then I noticed something weird in what he’d just said “you humans”? This whole conversation somehow managed to get crazier by the minute...

He raised himself from the armchair and was walking towards me now. “It was love. You loved him dearly. He was... your best friend. You trusted him with your life, but he betrayed that trust. He broke your heart”, he placed both hands, in those unsettling red gloves, on the table in front of me, by my feet, and looked deep into my eyes, “I can see it like a physical trait, you carry it around like a scar.”. I felt tears stinging my eyes and looked away. How did he know? Who was this guy? WHAT was he? “Was it worth it? Giving yourself to this man only to have your heart crushed afterwards... human-beings are pathetic with this obsession with carnal pleasure. And the way you think it has something to do with love... It’s pitiful, really.”

“Why do you talk about human beings like that... like you’re not one?”, what was I thinking? Why was I asking that kind of question to this lunatic? Was I so in shock that I was no longer thinking properly? He merely chuckled. “Because I’m not.”, he turned his face the other way and pulled his hair to the side, to show me this painful looking mark behind his ear, a small 666 in an intricate design that seemed to have been iron branded there. He looked at me again and his face was no longer his face, it was a white mask of evil that made my blood freeze in my veins. Just as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone and he was giving me the most angelic smile. “My name is Michael Langdon, and I am the Antichrist.” I can’t explain why, and it wasn’t just the satisfied tone in which he had said those words, but I knew this wasn’t a trick. He was the real deal, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind. I knew it in my very soul, and fear took hold of my heart like it was grabbed by a cold hand.

He walked around the table and sat casually next to me, it looked almost like we were school kids, chatting in between classes. It‘s amazing that, with everything that was going on, there was still room left in my brain to think about how nice he smelled. “I know you wanna ask me another question... come on, don’t be shy”, he smirked, he seemed to be having fun. Like a particularly wicked cat playing with a mouse before killing it off. “It’s so annoying how people never seem to be able to be honest with me... they always get all ‘pleases’ and ‘I’m sorrys’, they never answer my questions with the truth, it’s always what they think I wanna hear, you have no idea how frustrating it is!”, I talked before I could stop myself “Well can you blame them?”, I made a sound that was very much like laughter and pressed my lips together to keep myself from talking any longer.

Shock. Definitely shock. What else but shock could explain the way I was talking to the actual Devil? But he didn’t seem angry, he was more... amused. “What do you mean?”, the smirk was almost a grin now. Well, fuck it. I’m probably not gonna leave this place alive, anyway, why should I worry about what I say to him? “Well...” I continued like I didn’t care at all about my own life “... you’ve got that whole situation going on”, I made a vague hand gesture encompassing his attire, “don’t get me wrong! It’s fantastic! But maybe just a little... intense. You can’t dress like that and then act surprised when people are a little intimidated by you!”

He was laughing. The Antichrist was laughing at something I had said. Not laughing at me, but sorta with me. Like he was enjoying my company. Like this was... fun? The same man who was casually talking about eating my heart out a few moments before. “I guess you’re right” he was giving me the brightest of smiles now “maybe I am intimidating, as you say. I’ll tell you what: I promise not to hurt you during this entire conversation, if you promise me you’re gonna be a hundred percent honest, deal?”

In case you haven’t noticed, he never promised he wasn’t going to kill me eventually. And then there was the fact that the actual Devil was offering me an actual deal. I realised I had very little to lose at this point so I shook the hand he offered me. “Good! Now, I’m hungry... are you hungry? We should find something to eat, since you’ve ruined my original dinner plans...” he jumped off the table laughing at his own dark joke “... I can’t cook, tho, can you cook? Nevermind! We’ll have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and call it the night. Do you like peanut butter and jelly?”, “Yes” my reply was barely more than a whisper, and I still couldn’t make myself move as he was already leaving the room. He stopped by the door and looked at me “Come on! I think my Miss Mead left me some chocolate milk in the fridge... it should be a little treat!”, he flashed me another bright smile. Still feeling slightly lightheaded, I followed the Antichrist into his Miss Mead’s kitchen.

He threw his leather coat on the back of a chair and discarded the red gloves on the counter, he was untying his ascot (an ascot! now that’s something you don’t see everyday...) and unbuttoning the collar of his dress shirt. He was still insanely overdressed for a peanut butter and jelly dinner, but he seemed far more relaxed. I, on the other hand, felt absurdly underdressed in a sleeveless little thing, that looked more like a white nightgown, and absolutely nothing underneath. The sheer fabric made me feel exposed, so I braced myself, rubbing my own arms with my hands. As if the feeling of warmth from the gesture could make me feel less vulnerable. “Are you cold? Here...”, he took off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders, his hands were surprisingly gentle and warm, but the unexpected touch made me shiver, anyway. He didn’t seem to notice and proceeded to folding up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing lightly tanned forearms, with veins that looked like they had been carved in marble.

He placed a tall glass of chocolate milk on the table and pulled me a chair, turning around to busy himself with cupboard doors, plates and sandwich ingredients. I sat down, looking at the glass and thinking about how surreal this was. I wanted to be afraid of him. I knew I should run away from that kitchen. But he was being so... nice! He was humming tunelessly to himself while preparing sandwiches, it felt like he was genuinely happy to have company for dinner. But I wasn’t imagining things, was I? He had been about to carve my heart out a few moments before, hadn’t he? So how could I feel so warm and cosy in his company now? Is that what Stockholm Syndrome feels like?

A few minutes later he put a plate in front of me, with a PB&J sandwich in it. I had to smile a little to myself when I noticed that the crust had been neatly cut out. He sat on the chair across from me and took his own sandwich in his large hands. As I saw him take a ravenous bite I couldn’t help thinking about what had been originally on the menu tonight. It was only after he licked strawberry jam off one of his long fingers that he looked at me again. It would be a big fat lie if said I could taste the sandwich at all, but I had been chewing my first bite for a long time before I remembered how swallowing worked.

“What did you need a virgin’s heart for?”, I asked before I could stop myself. “It was a ritual”, he swallowed the bite he had been chewing, “to bring me closer to my father, to give me power so I could fulfil his purpose. I guess I’m gonna have to make do without it now” he shrugged. “My turn: how come you’re not a virgin, Library-Girl? We’ve been watching you... you’re not seeing anyone, you’ve got very little social life to begin with. It was an honest mistake, if you think about it...”

Like hell it was! So I was almost murdered over a stereotype? The spinster librarian, who lives alone with a thousand cats... Ridiculous! Except that I really was single. And I did have a cat. Oh, no! My cat! I hoped my next door neighbour would notice I had not come home, and use the spare-key to get into my apartment and feed my Vanilla, when she was feeding her Luna... Do you think Langdon would let me use the phone for a second?

“You said so yourself, I was in love. And he broke my heart.”, that’s definitely the least comfortable sex-talk in the entire history of conversations. “Ah, but he wasn’t the only one, was he? You also did it with guys you were not in love with... why?”, it wasn’t a rhetorical question, he seemed honestly puzzled. And he was right. Even after having my heart shattered to pieces, I could still take other men into my bed. I hadn’t trusted anyone again, but that doesn’t mean I had chosen celibacy. I had to think for a while before replying this time “Because... it feels good.”, it was my turn to shrug now. He slapped the table, startling me, “I knew it! See, that’s the problem with mankind, that’s why you’re all doomed: you only care about immediate gratification. Sex, drugs... whatever! You’re just walking around the Earth looking for your next high, destroying everything on the way...”

“You’re telling me that you don’t have this problem?” to be honest, I was beginning to feel a little tired of his air of superiority. “I’m not blinded by instincts, like you people. My actions are not motivated by animalistic impulse, I have a purpose.” He took a deep breath and drank from his glass of chocolate milk “But that’s not the question’s that’s been pulsing in your brain for the last few minutes, is it? Go ahead, ask it.”

“So you are... a virgin?”

“Naturally.”

“You’ve got a milk moustache.”

What?! I needed to gain some time! “Naturally” was so not the answer I was expecting! He wiped his lips with a napkin and met my eyes again “Why is that such a foreign concept to you?”

“Because there’s a crazy little thing called desire... it’s a very powerful force!”

“Distractions.”

“Welcome distractions!”

“Not really.”

“You must have been a very weird teenager...”

“I was never a teenager.”

The look of confusion on my face probably spoke volumes, for he kept talking “I was born on the 14th of December, 2011. One night, a couple of years ago, I went to bed as a child, and the next morning I woke up... like this.” Flawless, would have been the natural complement to this statement, but for once I managed to stay quiet, I just kept looking at him wide-eyed with my mouth slightly open. “You look cold... are you done eating? Let’s take this conversation to the living room, there’s a nice fireplace there.”, without waiting for a reply, he got up and kept talking as he left the kitchen “I had a reason to grow up so fast, you see, there were things that needed to be done...”, I followed him because he seemed really pleased to have an audience to whom he could talk about his life goals, but also because I didn’t want to be left alone in the kitchen with that strange dark altar behind the table.

He sat on the rug in front of the fireplace and took off his weird looking goat shoes “you, humans, let yourselves be distracted by what you believe is a higher purpose... women tell themselves they’re looking for love, men make themselves believe they want power, but in the end you all want one thing: immediate gratification. Usually through carnal pleasure. I cannot let myself be distracted by that...” I sat down on the rug as far from him as I could, still wrapping myself on his jacket “But weren’t you ever curious?”, I knew I was!

“I’m not curious, I’m on a mission!”

“But it’s not just that! Sure, it is pleasant... but it’s also about connection.”

“Connection? With people? Please... what part of that should I find enticing?”

“I’m serious! It’s not just about having pleasure, it’s about sharing it with someone! Having each other at the most vulnerable and the most powerful, at the same time... we all crave that feeling with every fibre of our beings! Don’t you?”

He looked at me and I could see blue flames dancing in his eyes, there was nothing of the ice that had been there before. He was all fire, and I felt my own cheeks burning as well. I was panting, and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t hold his gaze much longer, I lowered my eyes to his exposed collarbones. That was worse. Far worse. I felt my entire body burn, now. I bit my lower lip and heard a low chuckle. “If that’s such a magical, intense pleasure... why do people get so mad about rape?”, there was a bitterness to his voice, like this was a very personal subject to him. Clearly he wasn’t speaking from first-hand experience, or he wouldn’t need to ask this question, but he was clearly talking about someone who was close to him. “Because rape isn’t sex, it’s violence. If I hit you on the face with a shovel, you wouldn’t exactly call it gardening, would you?”, it was his turn to bite his lower lip “Fair enough.”, he nodded.

After a heartbeat he lifted his eyes to me again, they were glowing warm like molten silver, incredibly sweet. His cheeks were flushed, as imagine mine were too, his rosy lips still wet in the firelight, the silvery blue eyes resting on mine for what seemed forever as he took a deep breath. “Would you show me?”, his voice much lower than it had been the entire evening. Before I knew what I was doing, I had my hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close, and covered his lips with mine.

He responded with an enthusiasm I could not have anticipated, pulling me impossibly close and kissing me back with a thirst that felt entirely new. His honey lips on mine while his entire body felt made of flames, and I was happy to be consumed by his flames. The moment his delicate tongue found mine, I felt a deep moan vibrating from de back of his throat. I was already aching for him. I straddled his hips, trying to find contact, grinding down for friction. I wanted to feel him with my entire body. I felt like I would never be truly satisfied unless every molecule in my body was touching every molecule in his.

My fingers were working the buttons of his waistcoat and dress-shirt, removing his leather belt, with feverish desire. His lips and tongue caressing my neck so lightly I almost cried. His upper body seemed carved in marble, perfectly smooth and slightly tanned... so warm to the touch, so inviting. He held me in a sweet embrace for a moment, while we both tried to steady our breathing. His large hands firmly on my back, my fingers running down his while I kissed his shoulder. We remained there for a moment, just breathing together, enjoying each other’s warmth and closeness.

His kisses started on my neck, moved to my jawline making me grind down on him again, gasping slightly. His hands moved from my back, his touch ghosting over my breasts. He pulled back a little to look me in the eyes, asking for permission. I took his trembling hands on mine and kissed his fingertips lovingly, slowly. Then I placed them on my breasts. He inhaled shakily and closed his eyes, I moved my hips a little and watched, not without a little satisfaction, a small crease forming between his eyebrows as he moaned softly, his lips slightly parted.

He buried his face on my chest, kissing the tops of my breasts that weren’t covered by the white nightgown, his hands gently kneading me where the skin was not exposed. His thumbs found my nipples through the thin fabric, touching them in circular motions. I steadied the pace of my hips, my whole body shaking, I felt myself clench around nothing, craving to feel him inside me.

He laid me down on the rug, and removed his trousers and underwear before lying next to me. Holding his head with one hand, supported on his elbow, he ran his fingers up my dress, his fingertips barely touching the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, his gaze never leaving mine. The molten silver in his eyes seemed to come to a boil when he found the wetness between my legs. He slipped one finger inside me and I threw my head back, eyes closed, biting my lip to keep myself from whining. He pulled the finger out and slid it back in, with a another finger this time. He bent both fingers a little, reaching that sweet spot inside me and I arched my back, a loud moan escaped my mouth.

He kissed my shoulder that was nearest him, while he pleasured me with his fingers. “Can I...” his voice was slightly raspy, so he cleared his throat “May I... taste you?”, I nodded looking in his eyes. I don’t think I could speak to save my life at that moment. Without looking away he pulled his fingers from inside me and took them to his own mouth, sucking them clean. His eyes still intently on mine he leaned over and kissed me slow and deep. I could taste myself on his tongue, and that only made me want him more.

He moved on top of me, his legs between mine, his hands pulling the white dress up above my head. At that moment I felt something I had never felt before. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Lying under his body, no fabric between us, just skin on skin. His eyes on mine. It just felt right, somehow. Like this was the only reason I was put on this world: to feel him, to look at him. But I needed more. I reached for him with one hand and slowly guided him inside me. It was only when he filled me up that I felt truly complete.

His eyes were closed, his exhaling almost a sob. He lost himself to the sensation. I was trying to get used to his size, it was more than I had ever felt, he was stretching me out in a way that wasn’t at all unpleasant. He pulled out a little and pushed himself in again, whimpering lightly. He looked so young, so helpless, without thinking I placed my hand on his cheek and he opened his eyes looking almost surprised to find me there, his face lit up with a smile when his eyes found mine and he kissed me, moving his hips away, never leaving me entirely, before sliding back in harshly, making us both break the kiss gasping.

“I’m sorry... did I hurt you?”, his hand on my hair, his eyes on mine again. “Quite the opposite!”, I giggled and he did the same, relaxing a little. “You don’t need to hold back, Michael. I’m a big girl, I can take it.”

Now, why would I say something stupid like that? No matter how big a girl I was, this man was still a little more than human. I’m pretty sure he could tear me apart if he wanted to. But now my words made him relaxed enough to pound into me without mercy. He would at times pull himself entirely out and slam back in with a loud groan, his forehead resting on mine, tears stinging my eyes. He was going so deep, so hard, I knew I was gonna be sore in the morning, but it really didn’t matter then. Pleasure and pain. It’s amazing how often those two can go side by side.

At other times he would take himself out and slide back in agonisingly slow. As much as I craved to have him filling me up again, his moaning during those times was music to my ears. And when I felt him back inside me to the brim, I could cry in ecstasy, my fingernails on the smooth skin pf his back. His face showed nothing but wonder when he would look at me while burying himself deeper between my legs. Sometimes he would just close his eyes in abandon, and I felt tears leaving my eyes. I had never seen anything so beautiful.

His thrusts grew sloppier, he was losing himself to the feeling again. Panting heavily against my face, whimpering bellow his breath. I dug my fingernails on his back when my orgasm washed over me, making me clench around him, milking him for his. Throwing his head back, he came undone, throbbing inside me. Tears spilling from his closed eyes, a soft moan escaping his parted lips. He looked so much like an innocent boy as he looked like a mighty god. As the wave of pleasure washed away, he touched my forehead with his again. Both of our sweaty bodies shaking, while we did our best to breath normally again.

“Thank you.”, his voice was very low, almost shy. And I giggled, surprised, at his unusual post-coital remark, “Sure, any time!”. “What? People don’t usually say that?”, he was chuckling a little himself as he looked at me. “They really don’t!”, we were both laughing now. He brushed his nose on mine “But I really do... thank you, I mean.” he looked very serious now, and I kissed him as tenderly as I knew how. Trying to tell him with my lips and my tongue what I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud: that I was thankful, too. It had been an honour and a privilege... and a pleasure. So much pleasure, it didn’t seem to belong in this world.

He fell asleep with his head on my chest. I ended up dozing off myself, while running my fingers through his hair. Just savouring the perfectly blissful moment, the weight of his body, the scent of his hair, the peaceful sound of his breathing lulling me to sleep.

I woke up on the sofa, apparently someone had carefully placed my sleeping body there and covered me up with a blanket. This someone was sitting on the rug now, wearing nothing but his boxers and black dress-shirt, with the sleeves still rolled up. He had all his attention focused on the binders before him, that he was leafing through by the firelight. The white dress I had bieen wearing was very tidily folded over the cushion by my head. I grabbed it and put it on, standing up.

He looked up and gave me one of the bright smiles that I was beginning to grow fond of. (Who am I kidding? By now my heart was already doing somersaults whenever he would so much as glance in my general direction...) “I didn’t mean to wake you up... you were sleeping so peacefully!”, he held out a hand, inviting me join him by the fire. “How long was I out?”, again. I was beginning to wonder if I was keeping track of time AT ALL, at this point. “Less then an hour, don’t worry...”, cupping my face in one hand he kissed me slow and tenderly. He ended the kiss in a grin of contentment, touching my forehead with his and gently brushing his thumb on my cheek.

“What are these?”, I pointed at the binders with my chin. “Cooperative papers, plans for the safety bunkers, boring but necessary stuff... I was trying to find a way to place you in one of the Outposts”, as usual most of what he was saying made no sense to me, and also as usual it probably showed on my face. He took a deep breath, and lowered his eyes, he seemed to be making an effort to speak now “Listen, you don’t need to panic, I’ve got it all figured out, I had a meeting last week, with some people... big... important people... you may call them World Leaders”, he did quotation marks with his fingers at these two words, “we’re working on building strategically placed Outposts, to protect those who can make an intellectual or cultural, or even biological, contribution to the world we’ll be creating.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I told you I was on a mission... humanity is doomed, there’s going to be... an incident. Involving nuclear bombs. A few months from now. After the Nuclear Winter, we’ll have a chance to start over, make everything new, from scratch. Make it... better.”

I got up on reflex, getting away from him in horror. How could he be so calm when he was talking about the death of billions of people? And then I remembered: he was the Antichrist after all. What was I thinking? That he was just the sweet boy I made love with? How could I forget this not so small detail about him? “You don’t need to be scared... it’s alright” he was getting himself up too “Trust me. I can keep you safe.”

“I don’t wanna be safe! This is insane... you can’t be serious!”, I felt more naked now then I did when he took my dress off. “I will rebuild the world in my father’s image, it will be a better world!”, he took my hand “And you’ll be there to see it! No more lies, no more hypocrisy... imagine that! The end of treason and ignorance, only the truth and knowledge will be allowed to exist in this new world. But we can’t achieve that with humanity as it is...”

I pulled my hand from his grasp, but I couldn’t speak. I just stood there shaking my head in disbelief, looking at him through the tears in my eyes. He grabbed one of the binders that were resting on the rug “I found the perfect spot for you actually, the newly-elected president of a South-American country is pure scum! A very unpleasant little man... just the sound of his voice is enough to set my teeth on edge! I never wanted him taking someone’s place in the Outposts, anyway...”

“Stop it, Michael! Stop this nonsense! I don’t wanna take anybody’s place in the Outposts... scum, or not!”

“You don’t know what you’re saying...”

“I do! I don’t wanna be some privileged asshole safely hidden in a bunker somewhere while the rest of the world bursts in flames!”

“You won’t be thinking that when you feel your flesh burning from your bones and you’re reduced to nothing but ashes!”, he nearly shouted the words at me, and I was downright terrified. In that moment I realised that I had never seen him angry, and the idea of it was scarier than the Armageddon itself. He took a few deep breaths, I saw he was trying to calm himself down. He took me in his arms, one hand on my waist the other on my hair, his forehead on mine again “please, please... I don’t wanna lose you... you gave me something I never knew was even possible... please let me save you... stay with me...”, I could tell by his voice that he was on the verge of tears himself.

“Michael, listen to me. I don’t care about surviving if everyone else is going to die. When the world is consumed in flames, I want to be with my family. Surrounded by the people I love the most. With music, laughter and good food. I want to be in my Grandma’s backyard. Eating one more of the delicious meals prepared by my aunt. While my brother plays our favourite songs on the guitar. I wanna be holding my mother’s hand. My little niece sitting on my knee, telling me a funny story. THAT’s how I’d want to go. That’s the kind of person I am!”

He looked at me through teary eyes “Is that your final word?”, I put my hand on his face and kissed his lips very softly “Yes.”, silent tears were streaming down his cheeks now “You don’t need to save me. The privilege of dying happy is all the salvation I need... Just give me a heads up, if you can. So I can go back home to my family in time, will you?”. He swallowed hard, and his expression became even harder. His eyes went cold all at once, with that familiar icy glint, and the remaining tears running down his cheeks looked completely out of place on a face devoid of emotion. “I will not let you down”, his voice hard and cold as steel. With both hands, surprisingly warm and gentle, on my shoulders he kissed me very softly between the eyebrows.

After that I remember being back at the library. With no idea how I had gotten there. In fact I had no idea I had ever left. I worked there for the next months as if that night had never happened. Like I had never been kidnapped by someone’s Miss Mead, or met the boy-Devil with the face of an angel. I didn’t even remember I had loved that boy for eternity in one night. And I definitely had no clue of the nuclear holocaust to come. In fact, it was just another day’s work at the library when the Cooperative officers arrived, less than an year later, to take me to the Outpost.

To bring me here.

It was bad enough living in Outpost 3 all this time, with all their rules and the fear, knowing everyone I had ever loved, everyone I knew, had died a most horrible death. But knowing that I was standing face to face with the man responsible for ending the world was a horror beyond comprehension. And we had been so... intimate. Our encounters had not been numerous, neither had they lasted for more than one night at a time. But those had probably been the most intense nights of my life. I knew I loved that man. Damn my soul, I loved him with everything I was. But I also hated him. For everything he’d done I hated him. For destroying my world and killing everyone I knew... TWICE.

I heard sounds from downstairs, one of the heavy isolation doors opening and closing again. Someone was inside the outpost. Before I could say anything, before I even had a chance to react to my newly recovered memories, Michael pulled me to himself and kissed me with a burning passion that I couldn’t help responding to. “Go to your room.”, he was speaking through gritted teeth, “Stay there. Whatever you hear, don’t come out. Wait for me.”

“Michael, you don’t really think...”

“For once in your life, do as I say!” and then much softer “Please.”

The desperation on his face was more than enough to silence my protests. Without another word I turned around and left for my room. As I was closing the door, I looked at him one last time, his silvery-blue eyes were on me, and those beautiful lips formed the word “go” in silence. I heard footsteps, apparently entering the great hall, and Mead came to his side in the balcony looking worried. They exchanged a glance and Michael’s face was transformed by rage, for a split second I thought I saw a flash of the white faced demon again. The last thing I heard before the door clicked shut were the sweet tones of a woman’s voice coming from downstairs. She spoke very softly, but I could hear her clear as day:

“Find our sisters.”

#Michael Langdon #American Horror Story #AHS Apocalypse #AHS fandom #Michael Langdon fanfic #Michael LangdonXFemale Reader #Cody Fern

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thefabuloushighking · 6 years

Text

The Pain or Proof Of Concept

Part Two

Eliot: I strolled into the set of rooms we’d given Penny when he suddenly reappeared with some story about returning from the underworld. I wasn’t convinced it wasn’t just Penny 23 pretending to be Penny 40 and only here to try and get close to Julia but I didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I just wanted a simple ride. He was bent over a novel and with his boots on the sofa. Uncivilized swine.

Penny: “What do you want?” I said without looking up. I had fucking research to do, and they kept interrupting me. “Or did you come in here just to stare at me?” I glanced up to find it was Eliot. Even better the high fucktard. But I held my tongue because I didn’t want to get kicked out of here. Fillory had a better selection of books than I could find on Earth, and the luxury wasn’t half bad either. He had a particularly nice tub in his suite of rooms I liked to pop into when I knew he wasn’t there.

Eliot: “No one would bother to stare at you.” I came to sit next to him found him reeking of my damn wood nymph body scrub. I’d finally found the culprit. I had to grit my teeth to not say anything. Bastard, but I had to let it go if I was going to hitch a ride. Quentin had absconded with the button so that was useless. After our last conversation, I wasn’t expecting him to come back any time soon. He’d been gone for months. How could I really blame him tho? He’d probably taken up residence in New York. He was good at hiding to lick his wounds. I sometimes envied it of him. I was raw and gaping. A part of my heart I hadn’t realized was so vital had been ripped out when he left.

Penny: I rolled my eyes and went back to the book. “Get out.” I could just feel him sniffing me. He probably wanted to bitch about me using his facilities. I was going to deny it to the grave so this conversation was useless. Better to end it quick so he couldn’t get mad at me. I didn’t have time for this. I already was late on deliveries for the library and stretching how much time they’d actually let me out of their sight. I might have escaped the underworld but I was still on a short leash.

Eliot: “I want to go to Manhattan.” It was playing with fate. I would be closer to Quentin there, but in a city, that large I would never see him. If I stayed here he would be back. He always came back to Fillory. And I was already slipping. Everything in me wanted to track him down in New York and see if he’d moved on already. I’d deserve it. How had I lost my grasp? I had a fast rule that I didn’t get attached to things. Things weren’t worth caring about. Where had I lost that?

Penny: “Do I look like public transportation to you?” These mother fuckers. I’m like the mother fucking bus system to them. “I have work to do.” And scarce little time to take a minute for me. I had to jump for the library already. There was no way I was going to also play bitch to the white people.

Eliot: “Like it’s so hard for you to take five minutes out of your day to take me to Earth,” I said through gritted teeth. I was already letting him live in my damn castle and keeping my mouth closed about the body scrub. What more did he want?

Penny: “Yes, five minutes, of which finally have to myself after getting buried in the underworld for your damn quest. I saved magic for you, and now all I want is a little piece of my life back, and you people want to use me.” He had no fucking clue what I’d been through. No clue the world didn’t revolve around his highness.

Eliot: “What do you need?” I asked, trying to play nice. Because I needed this. I needed to get out of this fucking castle Quentin loved. I thought Fillory was my salvation, but it turns out it was my damnation.

Penny: “Not. A. Thing.” Other than this fucking asshole to get out of my face. I was trying to read as fast I could and I’d learned some skills in the underworld, but I had so much material to get through and not enough time in my day. It didn’t help that his words were like nails in my brain. I could not focus with him staring at me. I was starting to fume.

Eliot: “Not even guaranteed time away from me? Think about it I’ll be stuck on Earth and you’ll be here.” It looked like I had his attention as he took a second to look up from that book. What could be so important in there? I didn’t have time to ask. If Margo found me missing she was going to squash this entire operation. And Eliot needed to get laid, and not have to deal with a fucking talking animal congress. “There is an entire jar of the wood nymph scrub hidden in the back of my wardrobe. You can have it, and full use of my rooms.” I wouldn’t be back for a while so I wouldn’t need it. I hoped this was enough motivation without fully revealing l how much I really needed to get away.

Penny: The offer was too good. I didn’t want to set a precedent or some shit, but hey you had to take the opportunities you were handed. Without him, up my ass, I might get some reading done hiding in his tub. Ain’t nobody gonna interrupt me there. “You’re on your own for getting back. I’m not uber and I’m starting to fucking like it here.” I had some shit to get done in the city as it was. Then I could get everyone off my back.

Eliot: “Whatever. Can we just go.” I asked crossing my arms over my chest. I could already taste Grindr. I could not wait to get some anonymous dick.

Penny: I marked my page and set my book aside and stared at him for the first since he walked in the room. There was a bug up his ass about something. “Why are you so eager?” Stupid. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want any more complications to my life. Last time I got involved with their shit I got fucked.

Eliot: “I have business there which is none of yours.” I was so good at lying on my feet. “Let’s go.” I tapped my foot, more than impatient at this point and glancing around before someone found me.

Penny: “You’re going to go bring him back aren’t you.” I’d figured it out. I wasn’t completely not paying attention. Quentin hadn’t been here in forever. At least not that I’d seen. Maybe that’s why Eliot was so damn insufferable recently.

Eliot: “It’s really not your business.” But I wasn’t going to deny it. If he wanted to think I was going to look for Quentin fine. It was a convenient excuse and if he told Margo what my intentions were maybe it would buy me even more time before anyone came looking for me.

Penny: “A’ight.” I stood and held out my hand. “Let’s get this shit over with.” He took it and I closed my eyes bringing to mind a place on the sidewalk near Central Park. When I opened my eyes the noise of the city engulfed us. It was late, and a little disorientating to be surrounded by so much light and tech after having been in Fillory. I pulled my hand out of Eliot’s and turned to bounce.

Eliot: “You can’t even put me in my apartment?” I wasn’t sure why we even kept it, but we did, and it had come in handy more than once. It would serve my purpose now. My wallet, keys, and phone were all there. Not like I needed any of them in Fillory. I could use magic until I retrieve them, but who wanted to walk 14 blocks.

Penny: This ungrateful mother fucker. “You didn’t say that. You said Manhattan.” Bastard couldn’t even fucking remember he’d never once invited me to a place in the city. More evidence I was always just a means to an end for them.

Eliot: He was so damn smug. I wanted to hit him. Gods, I wanted to let all these feelings out on someone. I got in his face and looked down into his eyes.

“Why do you always have to be such an asshole?”

Penny: “White people are so fucking full of themselves.” I scoffed and stood there with my mouth open like he couldn’t believe the gall I had.

I was about to blip when his words rooted me to the spot. He needed to hear exactly what I thought of him, and it wasn’t like me to hold back. What was he gonna do on earth? Not like he could take back what he’d already offered.

“You could have easily said your place, which I’ve never been too and frankly don’t even know where is, because I was in the fucking underworld for you, but you know whatever. I have library business. Duces”

Eliot: He turned to go and I softened somewhat. “Well, I apologize for never having included you. Want to walk with me? You are welcome to use it when I’m not.” Which might not be for a while but I wasn’t going to tell him that. “I am going to drown myself in alcohol and then go find some dick. Come play hooky with me. The library can wait.”

Penny: For the first time since I’d met him Eliot had me speechless. I wanted to assume he had an angle or game, but it really didn’t seem like it. I started to weigh my options. It had been a long ass time since I’d taken any sort of break.

Eliot: I offered my arm and he took it. Maybe we’d gotten off on the wrong foot. The apartment was still fully stocked from when we’d left and it’s not like alcohol goes bad. It was so nice to drink something other than wine too. I went right for the hard stuff. I was not about to waste any time. I needed to be good and drunk so I wasn’t imagining my dick inside Quentin when I found some random guy. It would just make me want to find him and that was a terrible idea. We drank and it was glorious. We had no attachment. He didn’t know me and I didn’t know him. We each had our own motivation for wanting to forget I was sure of it because he drank down the drinks I made as fast as I did, and I could see the sorrow reflected in his eyes. We were both hiding the pain.

“Let’s go find some muggles to fuck,” I said staggering to my feet.

Penny: I laughed. He’d poured so fast I was already hazy and the right amount of good. I just wanted to chill out maybe smoke a blunt. “I’m a traveler and even I know we can’t get anywhere without face-planting on the damn pavement.”

Eliot: “You overestimate me...or under...I don’t know. But I need some dick. All the dick. As much dick as New York can give me.” It had been so long. It felt like lifetimes. Quentin had been the last person I was with. I’d felt like I’d had this lifetime, and though it had only been months since all of it had happened it felt like decades. “Technically, it’s been centuries since I’ve been laid.” If I was counting the time continuum crap. Had I just told this to Penny? I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that to him. As far as I knew Quentin and I hadn’t told anyone else about what we’d shared and here I was drunk and spilling my guts to Penny of all people.

Penny: Ugh. “What the hell man. I do not want to know about anything going on in your pants or bed.” My words were slurred and I just wanted to be left in peace with my buzz.

Eliot: “Good, I’m going to find my phone and restore my Grindr account.” There were some things that needed to be invented in Fillory, and I started to contemplate how I could even get Grindr to work there without cell phones. It was probably a lost cause.

Penny: “Sit your drunk ass down, mother fucker.” He did as I told him and I closed my eyes again. I was not here to babysit him, but I also wanted peace when I went back to Fillory and that wouldn’t happen if he was maimed.

Eliot: “Why do you care what I do?” I asked him my fuzzy brain not able to connect the dots.

Penny: “I don’t want to have to explain to Margo why you’re dead. She’d cut my balls off. Thank you very much.” This man only thinks about himself.

Eliot: “True,” I nodded. “But then you better play sitter, because I am getting laid.” I stumbled towards the kitchen pretty sure that’s where I’d left my phone.

Penny: I pressed my fingertips of both hands to his face. “Why am I the only adult. Sit your ass back down.” I got up to follow him when he didn't listen.

Eliot: At first, I thought he was going to do some weird traveler spell, but I just walked out of the room. I was rummaging through doors when Penny appeared next to me. I nearly fell over. “Do not do that to a drunk man.”

Penny: I grabbed him by the wrist and started dragging him towards the hall where I assumed the bedrooms were. “I’m putting you to bed.” He fought me and I just blipped us.

Eliot: “None of that is okay,” I said nearly puking. “This is like the Blair witch project with magic.” His antics had the entire building swaying and moving under my feet. “If I ruin my hand sewn suit because of you—” I swallowed back bile.

Penny: “Get in bed.” I was not losing my sweet deal because of this prick. “You can grindr to your heart's content tomorrow.”

Eliot: “You know I am just going to sneak out to suck some dick when you pass out.” Sex might not fix my problems but it was going to make me feel better for a little while and I was going to do me.

Penny: I exhaled and closed my eyes. “Bitch, I will take your ass back to Margo so fast.”

Eliot “Okay, I’m going to sleep.” I flopped into bed. And then I had an idea. “Want to smoke? It will help me sleep.” It was hard to keep the smirk off my face but I did it. “There is some weed in the drawer.” I pointed to the nightstand.

Penny: “Cool.” I went to look in the nightstand expecting him to attack me or some shit, but sure enough, there was weed and a bong. Score. “I’m sitting here ‘til you pass out so don’t try nothing.” I glanced around. “How do you have no other furniture in here. You’re a king for fuck's sake.” Finding nowhere else to sit I sat on the edge of the bed and started to pack the bowl. I put the lighter to it and took a nice long hit before I handed it over to him.

Eliot: My plan was working so well. Little did he know this was the good stuff from Josh and Josh liked his weed special. He got it straight from Bacchus and man it made everyone want to party, and just a bit horny. It was great. “In Fillory, do you know how expensive this place was as it is. We had to sneak gold out of Fillory for weeks to buy it.” I stretched out the room spinning a little. “If you’re going to stay the least you could do is come lie down.” I held out the bong to him.

Penny: I laid back for some reason. I wasn’t really sure why. “You’re insufferable. Fuck how does anyone put up with you?” But I was feeling good, and after smoking, he would be nice and tired and hopefully pass the fuck out.

Eliot: “So are you. With this chip on the shoulder ‘must brush everything off’ shit. So confrontational. Have to piss everyone off so you don’t have to make friends, is it? Or what you’re just scared none of us will like you?”

Penny: “You fucking asshole. I don’t need to take this from you.” I couldn’t stop myself I was shoving him which was less than effective on the bed.

Eliot: “You don’t like hearing it because I’m right.” I stumbled as I got out of bed. “Leave, I want to go out anyway.” Fuck waiting. The weed was kicking in hard, and I was going to get laid.

Penny: I lifted up both hands wanting to strangle the mother fucker.

Eliot: Alcohol and lack of sex combined with Josh’s weed was a big mistake. He got closer and something came over me. His anger turned me on so I kissed him and he didn’t stop me.

#the magicians #the magicians fanfiction #the magicians fandom #queliot #quentin x eliot #eliot waugh #eliot x quentin #eliot x penny

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ikonislife · 7 years

Text

Cold No Longer.

- Chanwoo x Reader

- New year drabble

- Continuation of Cold.

Cr. Ikonis

Part 1: Cold

A full 2 years it has been since you last wander the streets of this quaint city, a full 2 years since you had seen him. In the long 730 days since you left, it had dawned upon you that the familiarities, the craving ignited in your heart to once again see the same shops lining the street and the old friendly faces, the nostalgia could easily be solve with a packed duffle bag and a train ticket. Never once did the enticing calls of the past had won, not even as you nurse the 3rd glass of wine, letting yourself wallowed in loneliness as the world in front of your eyes blurred from tears as your would be anniversary ticked by.

Partially because this place had always been bittersweet in your mind from the many lessons it provided in your the short period of time you since your existence on this Earth... Partially because it reminds you of him.

You know showing up to the place you once called home meant risking running into the person you both despise and love, wanting nothing more than to avoid till the day the Earth die but also needing, craving for just a glimpse to sooth your healing heart at the same time. So it’s as good a time as any to take utilize your holiday days off to once again roam this old haunt. At the very lease shall heartbreaks happen, the plentiful holiday decoration will soften the blow...

You had heard a year later from an old friend that Chanwoo had moved, graduated college and no longer the baby face freshman that was your boyfriend. He had gotten accepted into a fancy university and on track to become the man you always knew he could be had he not fallen into the wrong crowd in high school.

Yet funny enough, if he had been excelling academically, that would meant he would never needed your tutoring service and so your amazing relationship, albeit the painful parting, would’ve never came to be. You remember exactly the moment your breath was taken away by that cheeky grin and bright, big doe eyes of his as he sauntered into the tutor center as if he’s king of the damn place.

Such a simple decision in life, volunteering at your old high school to gain work experience, a simple decision that altered the course of your life so greatly. A soft sigh leaves your lips, eyes twinkle with the neon sign of that old coffee shop that used to get your heart hammered every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The money spent on coffee here nearly as much as your paycheck due to the sheer fact that the both of you had spent more time chatting afterward than the lesson itself. He offered to pay for it always but you couldn’t do that, not when you had thought this was nothing more than a dumb crush that would go nowhere. Little did you know, life had other plan.

In the two weeks spent in this old town, you had seen nearly everyone from friend to foe alike, and every old haunts you had missed. Yet the single person you secretly, deep within your heart wanting, praying to the stars above and all that’s miraculous of the holiday season to meet has failed to appear.

All hope was shattered after one particularly cold snowy night, after a man, a bit older than Chanwoo you had only seen with a few times and from what you had heard, the person who had been there for him after you were gone, informed you of your heart’s desire whereabout. Him recognizing you honestly in itself is a miracle, not even your favorite professor had realized who you were let alone someone you met a handful of time.

“Y/n, right?” The man had spoke up, cramped in between the sea of people awaiting their coffee to shield away from the frigidness of the night.

“Yea... You’re Chanwoo’s friend.” The sweetest relieved smile broke out on his lips, no doubt fearing your unfamiliarity of him. You didn’t know for how long nor how much money the both of you had spent on coffee but none of that matter. You had the realest conversation with a human being in months and with someone you hadn’t even think of. You found out his name is Jinhwan, and like both Chanwoo and yourself, he too had up and left this town so long ago but never could stay away.

“Me and the kid come back every chance we get. We both really appreciate the hospitality and warmth that comes from small town, you know. the big city, it sucks the life out of you sometimes. Chanwoo was suppose to be here already but big project came through. He’ll be back after the new year tho, if you’re around long enough.”

At the mention of Chanwoo, your eyes perked up with excitement, a small smile tugging at your lips even if you brain hadn’t realize. However, Jinhwan did and he took the chance.

“He still loves you, you know. Not so much lately but right after the break up, talked about you day an night. I got so sick of hearing your name at one point. He still got your picture in his room, just said it’s someone special to his heart whenever his friends ask.” His chuckle filled the air and in a way you were happy, happy to know that you weren’t just a bet after all even if it changes nothing. You and him just weren’t fated.

As your days spent grew longer than days remained, your heart anxious with regret that your wish won’t come true, your desire of seeing him one last time will be denied. You list of places has finally come to an end, the many lines of scribbles on your list crossed out and your heart fills with new memories of these places, all but one - the bridge.

You had considered crossing out the bridge, excluding it altogether on this mini adventure down memory lane of yours but your heart wouldn’t let you. It was too important, crucial player in your history that no matter what, you have to see it. And so you left the best for last as there was only 3 days left to this trip, your feet find their way back to the place where all the magic happened.

The last time you had seen it, the bridge was a bit more worn and drab, the path a bit darker, although the weather was much like today. As you draw your scarf closer, you question yourself if the management had really repainted it or it’s all a trick of mind to match the mood of your heart. After all, the last time you were here was the when your heart was shattered by the man you still love dearly.

As expected, even though the park filled with people awaiting the new year, not much traffic at this far side, a spot not many know about despite its perfect locale for watching the firework downtown... Well, not much traffic aside from a young man whom you hope would leave soon... You need your time alone with this place, to really soak in the reality of it all even though two whole years had past. With each step further onto the path that bear witness to the start and the end of your relationship, a strange sense of serenity mixing with anxiety filling your heart, flutter the wings of butterfly within your stomach, almost as if your heart anticipating the arrival of Chanwoo, as if he’d magically appear out of thin air to be with you this lonely new year eve.

Watch ticking 11:30, you wonder even with the new high rises blocking the distant horizon would you still be able to watch the fireworks as you did all those years ago under the warm embrace of Chanwoo. Funny how things had changed within a blink of an eye, one second you were just tutor and student, hoping for a better future than hanging about a useless bunch for a boy you barely knew. At that point you truly were just his ‘noona’, worrying about his potential even if it’s a bit comical taking into account the few years in between your ages. A goodbye dinner turned into weekly, then nearly daily, and before you had realized there was so much more behind the innocent of his lingering touches and sweet smiles. You doubted those charming grin and sweet words, the glances he’d exchanged with his friends and how never once he’d bothered introducing you to the group of boys. Yet that night when he had showed up with a bouquet of flower dressed in his best job interview outfit asking for a new year eve together, you just couldn’t say no.

It was adorable, the way he so shyly snaked his arm around your waist, tugging you closer under his giant coat. Keeping you warm he had said, you knew better but you were too far gone under the vice of the handsome boy to really do anything about it. Then as the countdown began, he uttered the sentence that forever intertwining yours and his fate together, “will you be my girlfriend”. By the time five had rang out in the distant from the excited crowd, you had nodded yes to the most mesmerizing smile you’ve seen from Chanwoo. As the fireworks lighted the night sky with its wonderment, your lips touched in a harmonious dance of new form love and anticipation of a new year.

Two years since you had last seen Chanwoo right on this bridge, so much memories and you had always hope at least some part of it was real. You couldn’t help but smile recalling the words of Jinhwan, how certain he was that your your present still very much prominent in Chanwoo’s heart. Yet in a way, it sadden you to see him still hanging onto the ghost of your past, unable to move on from the mistake of young age.

“He cut himself off from that group, did you know that? Not too long after you guys got together, Chanwoo said he wanted nothing to do with those troublesome kids, started to hang out around myself and the older boys more. All because he really did fell in love with you. ”

At least one good thing came out of all this heartbreak, you had always thought Chanwoo was so much better than those nonsensical kids loitering around the local businesses.

The river below coursing as strongly as you remembered, pitch black and seemingly sucking everything in its path. Leaning onto the railing you watch the many helicopters above buzzing about, covering news for the new year celebration. You mind floods with the good times spent here, the picnics, the kisses shared and unlike your prediction of pain, your body feel light, heart rather than aching, longing for future uncertain.

“I hope you’re well, wherever you are. Chanwoo.”

You couldn’t help but whisper his name, letting it linger in the air as it did so many times before except this time, he isn’t here to grace you with that cheeky smile of his or to pull you into his chest.

“Y/n?”

Or maybe he is? Were you so tired your mind thought up of the way your name sound so warm in his voice... No way. There was no one else on this bridge, just you and the young man in the black hoodie... Your eyes widen in shock, not really believing but not in disbelief either, just some sort of limbo dream state, not really to turn around when he calls out once more.

“Noona?”

Slowly but without any hesitation, you spin on your heels eyes closed fearing it all just a mirage of dream but there he stands, as real as the drumming of your heart, as handsome as you remember.

“Chanwoo...” His name once more slips from your lips, too dumbfounded to do anything else, you just call his name. Each and every time, he answers without fail.

“Yes, noona.”

“It’s really you.”

“I’m here.” With each replies, Chanwoo inches closer, cutting the gap in between your bodies until you could effortlessly poke his cheeks without much effort. A smile on his lips at your strange reaction, as if he had vanished and suddenly reappeared.

“But how, Jinhwan said you weren’t coming back till-”

“ After new year.” He cuts you off, “That was the plan but...”

“But?” With bated breath, you wholeheartedly anticipating his answers, praying it was you he’s here for.

“But I couldn’t miss our promise of being here every new year, to watch the firework...” His smile dulled, a bit of sadness tugging at the corner of his lips and he fights so hard to keep it from turning into a frown. For a split second, Chanwoo thought about lying, that his project had finished early instead of him pulling 3 all nighter in a row just to be here. You deserve better. He lied to you once and that cost him seemingly a whole life with you, he can’t make the same mistake, not again. “Sad, isn’t it... I still come here every year to think about old time. Even though you’re probably off somewhere better.” His gaze no longer on you, facing away, forlorn into the distant before his head hangs low. “Probably happier with someone else.”

For a moment, it’s just silent. Chanwoo confession stunned you, shocking your shivering heart back into the warmth of sunlight but before you could say anything, he faces you once more.

“I couldn’t let go... I kept hoping I’ll see you, even if you’re here with someone else, at least I’ll know you’re happy.”

Somewhere far in the distant, you could hear the elated cheer of the crowd getting ready for the countdown. You look back to see Chanwoo had once again staring in the direction of the horizon, a soft smile on his lips even though his eyes still very much carry the weight of his mistake, of how much he hurt you.

“10″ The crowd calls out and you move closer beside the man you still love very much.

“9″ Finger intertwining tightly with his, and before Chanwoo even had time to process what was happening, you had pulled his arm around your body.

“8″ With more vigor this time, the crowd screams out but Chanwoo couldn’t hear anyone else aside from your voice calling for him. “Jung Chanwoo,”

“7″ With the brightest smile you could conjure up under the freezing wind that probably does a better job than botox for your skin, your hands cupping tightly around his no longer chubby cheeks.

“6″ “Will you be my boyfriend.”

“5″ Before your heart gives out, you place your lips on his with the best effort in not falling over tiptoeing to match his height. Chanwoo finally caught his breath only to lose it again under the spell your spinning, drowning him in all the fantasy of simply getting to kiss you one more time. Neither of you could really hear the rest of the countdown nor did you bother too much with trying. Chanwoo tighten the grasp around your teetering self, securing you in the bear hug you had craved for two years before deepening the kiss so much further. Neither does the liven scream of the crowd nor the vibrancy of the flowers of lights above could compare to the way his lips feel against yours, moulding so perfectly as if no time had past.

“Baby, I’ve missed you.” He murmurs softly against your lips, breath heavy as was yours but neither of you mind it. Chanwoo went back for second then third, ignoring that the many couples who had found their way to the bridge, overflow from the crowd had stopped sharing their new year kiss long ago and were now redirecting their attention toward your way. Whispers of how excessive you both were in holding out your kiss for so long, and whispers of perhaps you both had never kiss before fills the air. Chanwoo ignores them all as he holds you like he had never had the chance before, kiss you as if he will never get the chance again because for now, it’s just you and him lost in the moment.

Tomorrow come you’ll have to figure out the long distant relationship or maybe not so long, who know, you don’t even know where he lives now nor what he does for a living. All you know is you’re being kiss, by Jung Chanwoo, the man you had dreamed of for 730 days and no longer counting.

“Yes.”

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