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holocene-sims · 2 days ago

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october 1, 2021 4:15 p.m. grant's house

[juhani] hello? grant, can i call you tomorrow? it’s late.

[grant] no, you can’t. i know it’s 11 o’clock where you are right now, and i don’t really care. you answered, so you’ve trapped yourself.

[varpu, faintly] juha, if you don’t talk now, he will never call you back.

[juhani] i want to speak with you, of course i do, it’s just–

[grant] fantastic, because that’s what we’re doing. we’re talking! i have 30 years of stuff to get off my chest, and i'm sure you have your own piece to share. not sure where to start, but.

[juhani] may i ask you a question? what did you overhear at dinner the other night? are you upset i'm moving? is that it?

[grant] i mean, that stung a little after the whole “i’ll be around to build a relationship with you,” thing, but i gave you my express permission to go home, so it’s whatever. we are both adults, so i am not going to fault you for making adult decisions that improve your life. i'm more upset by you claiming you didn’t tell me about your plans or include me in the moving and wedding stuff and whatever because i'm difficult.

[juhani] that’s not what–

[grant] oh, come on. don’t kid yourself. you said it yourself, anything involving me is like pulling teeth. i heard it loud and clear.

[juhani] well, when i tell you things, you never react well. it always goes precisely like this conversation is going.

[grant] really? never? because i remember being pretty positive about your proposal and about you contacting me in the first place and about coming to dinner to acquaint myself with varpu’s kids and about meeting varpu a while back…

[grant] what i react poorly to is you leaving me out, you calling me difficult, you complaining about me in front of impressionable people, etcetera.

[juhani] i don’t want to leave you out.

[grant] that’s what varpu said, too, but i didn’t believe her, so why would i believe you?

[juhani] i have no idea how to interact with you. i've apologized to you, told you i regret the events of your childhood. nothing works.

[grant] do you regret it? because it kind of just feels like you’re doing the same shit again. abandoning me for your own self-interests. oh, and this time you’re replacing me with a brand new family you treat better.

[juhani] i'm not repl–okay, what would you prefer me do when you push me away? you told me i was difficult.

[grant] when did i say that? i mean, that's true, sure, but i would not say that to you. what i probably said that you’re misconstruing is that talking to you is hard because i'm not comfortable around you.

[juhani] and how long will it take you to be comfortable around me? i don’t know what else you want me to do. truly, i don’t, and it is not pleasant to be rejected endlessly.

[grant] well, i'd have to forgive you, but i don’t. if forgiveness was meant to happen, it would not be instant. you’d have to keep trying with me, even if i piss you off, even if i push you away. you’re my fucking father, it’s your job. you show up for your kid even if they’re horrible or annoying. you never turn your back on them. but, you know, you didn’t show up for the first 22 years you were around, so you’d have to try extra hard now to change my mind.

[grant] but honestly, i will never be comfortable around you. i've realized that over the last few days. i did actually think if you just kept trying, i'd relax and be less on edge, but nope. you could become an honest-to-god saint tomorrow, and i'll still be furious because nothing will make me understand why you couldn’t have been a decent person when i was a kid. like, when i needed you.

[grant] and i don’t get why you weren't. i don't. i'm serious. i can’t comprehend it. clearly, you have it in you to be a decent person. you love varpu's kids. you're fatherly towards them. you take them on vacation, you invite them to house and wedding venue tours, you tell them about and include them in your hobbies, you remember details about them, you smile at them without being forced, you go to their weddings and don’t flip out about them being queer even though you were viscerally disgusted with me when you found out–

[juhani] you shouldn’t bring them into this. it isn’t fair. and i've taken you on vacation before, for one.

[grant] i am being petty, but i think it's fair because i'm not shitting on them specifically. and yeah, okay, you took me on vacation once. you took me to finland exactly once, but i never met your family, and i remember nothing other than the plane rides.

[grant] and you shouldn’t do this. we don’t need to split hairs. you don’t need to crawl through that list of grievances and “well, actually” me as many times as you can manage. one vacation changes nothing. that does not erase all the times you sat there like a lame duck and ignored me or mocked me or let my mother abuse me. there is nothing for you to pat yourself on the back about.

[grant] nothing.

[juhani] so, what are you upset about now?

[grant] why?

[juhani] why what?

[grant] why are you like this? why were you a terrible father? why have no heart for me or my sisters? why did you save all your love for someone else’s kids?

[grant] oh, and how about cerise? you sure didn’t care about your bastard kids either, did you?

[grant] shit. i'm sorry. that just kind of came out. that’s not how i wanted to, you know, pepper that into this conversation. i was going to save that for the end.

[juhani] how do you know about her?

[grant] doesn't matter. it's a long story.

[grant] on that note, what is up with the secret daughter? how’d that happen? is she the only one, too, or should i be on the lookout for any other siblings? and hey, you only divorced my mother in the last few years, so you were cheating. how many times did you fuck around on her, and why would you? you wouldn’t divorce her because you were afraid of her, but apparently it's no big deal to cheat.

[juhani] grant, how can i answer you if you don't allow me to talk? cerise’s mother michelle is a doctor. your mother and i were both at a conference in detroit about healthcare outreach, and…

[juhani] i know it seems contradictory, given how long i stayed with your mother, but i was unhappy in the marriage. i met michelle there at the conference, and she was kind and intelligent, and i suppose the rest of the story should be obvious to you.

[grant] goddamn, man. i hate my mother, but that’s bold: sleeping with another woman right in front of her face.

[grant] did she ever find out?

[juhani] eventually. you remember how she was with the finances. she tracked all the money going in and out of the household. you couldn’t have one cent go missing without being accused of something, and she’d always blame it on some incident with her brother and start ranting about him.

[juhani] look, the agreement with michelle was that i'd stay out of her life and send child support, and she wouldn’t interfere with my family either. i used to lie and tell your mother the child support funds were going somewhere important, but she didn't believe me very long. she did finally question me and find out the truth.

[grant] and?

[juhani] in hindsight, her reaction reminds me a lot of the one she had when you lashed out at her during your graduation dinner. very little left her speechless, but that did. initially, i should clarify. she would go on to never let me live cerise’s existence down.

[juhani] and to answer your question, as far as i know, cerise is the only other child.

[grant] as far as you know?

[juhani] i cannot rule out further surprises.

[grant] jesus christ. my grandmother is right, all men are dogs, but you most of all.

[juhani] does it upset you that much?

[grant] again, i don’t like my mother, but if i needed any more proof that you’re more spineless than a sea sponge, this is it. you were so unhappy with my mother that you’d cheat on her, but you’d not divorce her when your kids were vulnerable.

[grant] you disgust me. you slept around and thought with your dick before you spared a single thought for the kids you let my mother abuse. or for yourself! fuck you. if you’re going to be that selfish, at least be selfish enough to prioritize yourself and leave the woman making you that miserable!

[grant] and now i don’t believe you when you say you wouldn’t leave her back then because you were scared of her. do you seriously mean to tell me it’s less terrifying to cheat on her than to just walk out of the house and never come back?

[grant] i did that, you know? when i'd had enough of my mother, i told her as much and then never spoke to her again. and guess what? wouldn’t you be so stunned to find out she’s never tracked me down, never tried to call or email to reel me back in? she left me alone after i told her to go fuck herself!

[grant] and technically, you know it's possible to leave her, too. what did you say about the divorce? that she just rolled over and let you do it and was fine with you just coughing up all the assets and dipping?

[grant] exhibits A, B, and C that she’s a coward, too. she thinks she’s the boss, but if you fight back hard enough, she gives up. you could have left her at any point in time.

[grant] god. oh my god. you stupid, spineless motherfucker. i thought i'd maxed out on anger. apparently not!

[grant] you really could have been a better father. you could have had your whole little life overhaul decades ago, and you could have saved the entire family so much pain. you, me, elizabeth, kelly…

[grant] i should have suspected as much, and i guess i did, but it's shocking to realize over and over just how useless you are as a father. i think it can't get any worse and then it does. you are a complete and utter failure as a parent.

[grant] this is why i can’t forgive you. you didn’t have to mess up so badly. but no. whatever you got out of the relationship was enough to convince you to sit there and watch my mother ruin all of us, and even thought you weren't happy with her, you got by with fucking other women and only regretted staying a billion years later when you noticed you had nothing of substance left in life but my mother. and that’s a pretty depressing way to live, isn’t it?

[juhani] i stayed because i thought we deserved each other.

[grant] with that attitude, maybe you did.

[grant] listen, i'll admit this, no problem. it’s no one’s fault that she is the way that she is. it’s not even yours. she’s abusive, and what she does to other people is her fault and her responsibility. she’s excellent, too, at convincing you to just go along with it and never question her. it's not that hard to get caught in her trap at first, and she will try her very best to break you. but at some point, you have to question anyway. at some point, you have to recognize you deserve better and do something about it.

[grant] but you didn’t. not until it was too late for it to mean anything.

[grant] i would never think i've done everything right, but in the end, i've respected myself enough to make better choices and do something about the situation i was in, and i've had to do that because the adults in my life weren’t responsible or organized enough to fix things before responsibility fell into my hands.

[juhani] you are a braver and a better man than i.

[grant] i'm glad i am, but do you know how exhausting it is to be brave all the time?

[grant] i am because you weren’t. it is entirely because you failed. you weren’t brave enough to give a fuck about yourself or your kids, so i've had to be brave my entire life. brave enough to survive my childhood, then brave enough to leave. and guess what? i don’t want to be brave. i just want to exist. and back then, i just wanted to be a kid.

[grant] just a kid.

[grant] i wanted to come home from school and play with my pokemon cards and hear my mom and my dad say, “hi honey! how was your day? we love you!" i didn’t want to live in fear of what horror would befall me each and every day.

[grant] fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. you stole my childhood. you stole elizabeth’s childhood. you stole kelly’s childhood.

[grant] you and my mother, but you could have done something. you could have given us our childhoods back. you could have done something! you should have done something!

[grant] you didn’t have to do everything right even. parents mess up, i know that, but you could have at least tried. the bar was on the floor. i would have over the moon living in a single parent household with a father who at least showed up to my hockey games if he wasn’t busy at work and gave me a hug every once in a while.

[grant] and you know what, you did more than steal our childhoods. because you couldn’t stand to sacrifice your comfort long enough to take care of your kids, we all have to live in permanent hell. i have to spend the rest of my life freaking out when someone walks up behind me or speaks too loudly or–god forbid–touches me! it took me years to finally learn not to flinch when someone high fives me! and kelly–i don’t know what she deals with, but i know her life can’t be peaceful.

[grant] again, i am not blaming you for what my mother did–i know she was not kind to you either– but i do blame you for not even trying to stop her or get away from her. you were an adult with power, and you didn't use an ounce of it. actually, you did use it, just not for good. you threw me specifically under the bus because it was easier to let my mother use me as a punching bag than you.

[juhani] you’re right.

[juhani] you’re right, grant.

[grant] i have nothing else to say, short of "fuck you" again. i think i'm done yelling at you.

[grant] no, wait, one last thing. what did you even see in my mother in the first place? what was so enticing about her that you’d stay with her so long and ditch your college sweetheart for her?

[juhani] i don’t know. i don’t know anymore.

[grant] i guess it was two people drawn to each other's misery.

[grant] great. well, that’s all, folks.

[grant] good luck with the new family. maybe you can make it right with someone else and enjoy a totally fresh start because you will never make it right with me, and i will never let you forget what you did to me and my sisters. and don’t lose varpu again, by the way. she is, like, far out of your league–so far it's not even funny–and you are lucky to have this second chance with her and to have a good relationship with her kids.

[grant] also, just so it's clear, i don't want to speak to you anymore after this. don't call me, i won't call you either, except in one circumstance. i'll consider it on the day my mother kicks the bucket. we can toast to the end of that chapter of our lives and hope that the haunting ends. because surely you have to feel a little haunted, too, right? i have a sinking suspicion that’s why you reconnected with me. you don’t care about me. you care about that fresh start, about making yourself feel better about wasting your life and fucking up everyone around you.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: juhani #hlcn: varpu #TADA #grant delivers the verbal smackdown of the century to his father: scene complete #it's quite satisfying #also snarky/angry/etc. grant is soooooo rare to see and write #he's usually pretty demure and cagey about things or just plain old polite but he is indeed grandma aoife's grandson #if and when he wants to he can snark like a champion #okay some actual serious analysis now #some of this conversation is retreading the same old ground and not making any huge revelations #like i think we all know and grant knows that his father really failed him and did not take the opportunities to do the right thing #and we know that he is selfish that he is just out to protect his own comfort without rocking the boat #but actually hearing grant tell his father how badly he fucked up and how badly he harmed grant and his siblings IS the big deal here #grant had his 'i'm done' moment at that college graduation dinner but this is the most sincere one #this is him really expressing at last how he feels and not just letting that angry kid out of the cage #i mean the angry kid is out of the cage here but there is some real processing of emotions and regrets and such on top of that #ANYWAY i am curious to hear your thoughts on this #*end lengthy author's note*

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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago

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even at this point in the story and with the romance well and truly confirmed it's very possible that lucanis has never seen even a sliver of rye's naked skin below the throat. very likely no one on the team has yet except possibly emmrich if rye got hurt in battle and needed help patching it up. high-necked watcher garb with gloves and all stay ON at all times. thank god for rye's sake that lucanis' history of romantic interest indicates that surprise bitch he could be kind of into that fhsdkjfas

#I'm a cool laid-back relaxed punk rock sort of leader and also person rook says during the solas regret study group meetings #sitting there with their meticulously gloved hands tightly balled into fists against the arms of their chair fhdsjkfhas #I think most of them know him well enough by now to realize exactly how full of shit he is about that tho lol #dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers #oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar #Lucanis Dellamorte #rook x lucanis #rookanis #this is very much a two-way slow burn situation hahaha at least rye gets to gaze at lucanis' bare forearms during meetings #lucanis has to settle for having Feelings whenever he sees rye with their hair down #or the very rare and precious times they'll take their gloves off for a moment #(I don't get the sense that he minds)#one of my first ideas for their relationship even back before I even decided I was going to do the romance #was rook anxiously fussing over their clothes the day they were going back to the necropolis for the first time while lucanis looked on #in quiet bemusement as he realized he'd never seen rook be openly *nervous* before. 'are my robes... does this look...'#lucanis in the elevator down to the necropolis depths trying not to look at all the walking skeletons #and with the patience of a man who once waited four hours in the market for illario to try on gloves: 'your robes are flawless #(on this the third time you asked as well). do not worry about it. was that. was that a floating skull we just passed by'#'ah yes! professor korevel tends to have his morning walks for contemplation around this time between grading papers'#'...without legs?'/'he always said those just got in the way most of the time'#and rye finally admitting '...it's been a while since I was home'#and in that moment a common understanding dawning. 'ah. I -- think I understand the feeling'/'yeah...'#and basically the rest is history lol

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unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240 · 1 year ago

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Okay I'm a little afraid to post this because of how ridiculous the discourse is right now, but I figured I'd ask anyway.

I am NOT looking to discuss politics or current events on this post.

Can anyone recommend to me reputable, fact-based resources (ideally books, articles, or websites) that can help me learn more about Palestinian history and culture? Pretty much everything I have ever learned about the Palestinian people has been in the context of the conflict with Jews and with Israel, and I would really love to know what is unique to their culture and who they are separate and apart from the conflict. When I've gone looking for this myself I've found: (1) lots of materials that define them as one half of a conflict and only discussing them in those terms, (2) lots of materials that function as Zionist propaganda that erases their history, connection to the land, and unique culture, and (3) lots of materials that function as Anti-Zionist propaganda that demonize Israelis and/or totally erase Jewish history and delegitimize Jewish connections to the land.

I just want to know more about, idk, if they have a specific dialect of Arabic, or the history of their beautiful textile art, their naming culture, music trends, or their olive orchard cultivation. Idk, anything that doesn't involve explosives and bloodshed.

I refuse to accept a political narrative that erases the humanity of Palestinians or their neighbors, but I don't know enough about Palestinians as people and want to fix that.

#please don't make me regret posting this #I think talking about the current situation without understanding the people involved or even trying to is wrong #I have had the privilege of learning a lot about Israeli culture and befriending Israelis by virtue of my Jewish community involvement #but do not have the same connections to learning about Palestine and Palestinian culture #I realize this is a blind spot of mine and want to correct that #but you know that criticism that Dara Horn mentions? where she validly asks:#why should we care about Jewish deaths if we don't also care about how these people lived as Jews?#that same principle applies in my opinion

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possamble · 10 months ago

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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato #junoposting

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samuraisharkie · 3 months ago

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I know I’m posting a lot of like. semi-bitter stuff and especially posts with frustration towards the Democratic Party and the liberals who refuse to look anywhere but themselves when it comes to why they failed, as well as acknowledging the fear and anxiety that comes with what we’re about to go through. But I want to say, that despite all of that and the awful feeling in my chest, I have so much compassion for the world. I still think we can fight for a better future, that it’s not over. We got this. It’s bleak but it was going to be no matter what, and we can make it. The results have inspired me to get even more active and try even harder, and I know there’s a lot of people that feel the same. We’ll all support each other, and we will make it. It’s going to suck, and I don’t want to put down the very real fear and danger folks are in— but I also don’t want to give in to that feeling of hopelessness and doom. There are so many people all over the world facing similar plights, or worse, and the least we can all do is keep fighting and supporting each other! Again I don’t want to step on the very real anxieties and fears and sadness from the results of this year’s election, I just feel some encouragement is in order amidst all the fear. For every person that refuses to turn on each other and continues to stand with all those who suffer just like us in our own homes and all over the world, we will be stronger for it. Take care of yourself, and take plenty of time to cry and fear of course, that’s not wrong, but don’t forget it isn’t over. There’s still a lot of love in this world!

#current events #us elections #election 2024 #palestine #don’t give up.#I’m putting tags on this but I’m bracing for some idiots to find this #if you are one of the liberals who still thinks this wasn’t entirely the democrat’s own grave and that it’s somehow third party voters #or minorities or whateve: kindly scroll. I do not want to deal w ur rabid fear-crazed asses rn and tbh you will regret saying these things #btw if you voted for Kamala it doesn’t automatically make you one of the people I’m annoyed with. it depends on how you did it #if you did it acknowledging she sucks and is condoning genocide but were acknowledging your acting out of self preservation?#ur good you understand where you’re coming from. as long as ur not blaming anyone other than Kamala and the Dems themselves #and the people who were allowing them to step all over them without vying for our leverage #not to mention the alt republicans. like they’re getting blame here too obviously lol

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thebroccolination · 10 months ago

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THE EX-MORNING SERIES CONCEPT

By now I think many people have heard that KristSingto’s upcoming series is an original script that was written for them. What we also have confirmed is that it was written about them.

[source]

KRIST: This series was written by P'Backaof and directed by P'Lit where they created this script from the start deliberately for the two of us and they got information for the characters etc. from KristSingto directly. In the series, the name for P'Sing is Tamtawan, and my name is Phatapi. And Tamtawan Tamtawan and Phatapi are KristSingto themselves.

INTERVIEWER: Does that mean you play yourself?

KRIST: [laughing] Yes, we act as ourselves, so it's not difficult at all.

Today, Aof elaborated on his part on Twitter:

[source: @backaof]

[translation: @_beinglistener]

And Jojo added:

[source: @jojotichakorn]

[translation: @_beinglistener]

So, two gay men are the leading creative minds behind KristSingto’s comeback series. Time to study up on your KristSingto history, kids. \:D/

Long live sanctioned RPF. 🎉

#krist perawat #singto prachaya #kristsingto #the ex morning #i’ve already seen the same tired ‘guess rent was due’ about krist and #i see on twitter when people link my thread about krist to people still insisting he’s homophobic #man’s rich #he works constantly #he even said it’s something he regrets now that his grandmother who raised him passed away #he worked so much he didn’t have as much time for his family—who he helps support #he is quite literally considered bl royalty #he has more queer people in his circle than straight #waa (gay) is his mentor #aof (gay) wrote this series and jojo (gay) thought up the concept so even professionally he's supported by queer people #you don’t have to like him #and you don’t have to admit to sending death threats to a stranger who doesn’t speak your language based on rumors you didn’t verify #admit quietly to yourself alone in your head that you were wrong and you caused harm to a person who didn’t deserve it #plenty of actors use bl as a stepping stone to bigger jobs #he’s not one of them #he wanted to do bl for years but gmmtv told him he could only work with singto #so literally the only reason kit didn’t do bl until BMF was scheduling issues because singto wanted to study abroad #and singto couldn’t get a fixed date for it and then the pandemic messed with his plans even more #i’m glad to see more and more people are understanding who krist is recently #and even in the series they made pathapi’s controversy an impulsive act of anger #krist has said he used to struggle with being hotheaded #and one of his apologies for the igs was even something like ‘i acted without thinking of how it would look out of context’#he just wanted people to stop harassing him for his sexuality but the context isn’t in the igs #anyway my go-to when i’m too tired to talk about this is always this #if he had ever been homophobic thai people would be the ones leading the charge against him…but it’s interfans #special reporter kiranokira

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anerdynerd · 15 days ago

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I do wonder what Jericho and generally any android that has ever worshipped/followed/looked up to Markus would react like, finding out that he has had to kill fellow dying androids and rip them of their compatible parts at the scrapyard in order to walk the Earth again

Those were difficult circumstances, so I wonder: Would they blame him? Would they not be able to see him the same again? Or do they empathize and know/think that they would do exactly the same to survive? Do they maybe even know about the whole thing already? Did someone start telling the story of how Markus came back from the dead? Or do they sense it somehow? Has he talked about it to his close friends? Does he think about it? Or was it easy for him to move on because he knows it was the only way? Is that part of why he took on this role of helping all androids? To make up for it? Or does he 100% believe that it was justified?

#I don't stand behind *all* of those rhetorical questions btw #For example I kinda don't think that this has played a big role in his decision to lead them out of hiding #Could make for a nice concept though idk #I kinda like the thought of them just knowing the most #Not by a story but just by seeing him and sort of sensing it #Without that making them see him as a traitor or untrustably dangerous or any less Markus though #Maybe it sends a shiver down their spine whenever someone first meets him though #And then they realize that doesn't actually represent what he does #I also find it hard to believe that he'd regret it or feel immense shame about it though #I do think he'd think of them every once in a while and honor them though #Being thankful for the parts that let him continue living #Love how half of my thoughts are in the tags now lmao I'm not sure if I should take them out of here and place them in the actual post🥸#Detroit Become Human #detroit: become human #Dbh #Dbh thoughts #Dbh ramble #Ramble #Thoughts #Dbh Markus #markus rk200 #Markus Manfred #Jericho #Dbh Jericho

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morathor · 3 months ago

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Pike and Scanlan getting married: I'm not into this but it's the end of the campaign. It's easy enough to let it go and move on. Pike indicating she and Scanlan are amicably divorced: The knowledge that it didn't work out adds a bittersweet angle to the marriage that actually makes me like it more now. Whatever the fuck Pike and Scanlan have going on now: This is a glorious disaster and I want like a million episodes of this.

#critical role #pike trickfoot #scanlan shorthalt #like campaign 3 pike as presented by matt #and campaign 3 pike as played by ashley #are so totally different #and for a watsonian explanation i'd say matt's pike was around strangers #and much like matt's keyleth was putting on more of her public face #whereas now that they're back in the hands of their respective players #and they're back around people they've known for decades #they can be like #aw fuck do i really have to call my ex?#i'm so tired of giving speeches and making up titles why does everyone need a title #(and for a doylist explanation it's just like. i think matt is playing the characters a bit safe.)#(doesn't want to step on any toes or make big decisions without being consulted.)#anyway i do also like the amicable divorce angle #it's like 'hey this happily ever after was not ever after because real people are complex'#'and they don't just stagnate while they're offscreen'#'but also it feels like they learned more about themselves and came away with some children they adore'#'so even if it didn't work out they probably don't regret it'#but no the messy on-again-off-again i don't actually remember if we're married or divorced right now #and the awkward conversations and the extreme 'not over it' energy they both have #i'm way more invested in this ship than i have ever been ya'll

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defiledtomb · 3 months ago

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decided to go back to uni

#ive been DELIBERATING. and its a good choice #look i really can't imagine going back to teaching #and what I really don't want is to scramble for a new career in a new field as a junior without education #besides i know what i want #it's just a bachelors. it'll be over in a jiffy #you get paid to study here and I'll have an easier time finding an apartment too -- its the reason im starting on monday already (not uni b #t I lucked out and got put in some electoral classes that I could take just to get student status until may #and then i start the curator bachelors in august so it just. works. i can scarcely believe it but ill have time to change my mind if i do #IM SCARED. IM PUMPED. I FEEL OLD. IT'LL BE FINE.#also lmao every meeting i had with a councelor past few weeks ended with me sobbing because im so terrified and relieved at the same time #(really can't imagine teaching again i think it would kill me)#(but holy shit starting an entirely new carreer at 32? she wildin')#but yeagh. job ops look great and i have always regretted not turning to history so. AUGH PIC RELATED ME ASF #for a split second did I deliberate studying theology to be ordained just to spit the catholic church in the face? i did. what a laughhhh

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dootznbootz · 7 months ago

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Which Greek mythology character would you like to see talked about more?

OHoho. you all already know this.

It's Penelope.

And I am being so fucking serious about it. I'm also sleepy and angry and mother nature is stabbing my gut so I'm putting a lot of my emotions into this ask.

BUT her fangirling, angry, bitchy rant of mine, I will save for the end. (and I'll explain it more down there) Not gonna lie, I will probably be mean. Don't take it too personally. (Some folks I know genuinely love her and have stuff for her. Y'all are fine :D )

I have many other characters I wish would be seen more, but hers rant is ooooh. it's been boiling angrily for a long time and this is the perfect ask to let loose.

Take note: This is more about characters who I feel are either underrated and/or not really given love. It's a whole other can of worms about characters who ARE given a lot of attention but are either fandomized to the point of being unrecognizable or people just...really see them wrong.

Ariadne:

A young princess who helped out Theseus to end the cycle of violence against the youth of Athens. Despite the fact that she was going against her family by helping Theseus she did. When he left her, for whatever reason, she was rescued by Dionysus. In which these two have a loving and healthy marriage. There is so much potential here and it makes me sad that she gets butchered and/or just ignored.

Danae:

She was locked up by her father because of a prophecy that happened anyway. She is now pregnant with Zeus' child. She is then locked into a chest in which she is sent floating in the sea. She washes up on Seriphos. Her son is sent on an impossible quest in order to keep her from a forced marriage. Her story is inspiring and ugh sdkf j badass mama! ;~;

Telemachus:

Got that right here :)

Sthenelus:

Fucking love this lil hotheaded cheerleader man. Go boy, go! He got yeeted by Athena from the chariot. Diomedes and him tell each other that they love each other. Tells off Agamemnon for mocking Diomedes' and his dad. He was a child soldier alongside Diomedes. I love this weird lil guy.

Hephaestus:

It makes me sad how people only see him as the "cuck" of Aphrodite and Ares. (no hate to them. do not hate either of them) He's badass in his own right! He does that bigass fire in the Iliad! And one of my favorite scenes in that epic, is him welcoming Thetis! I think he's neat :D

Hebe:

Ganymede isn't the only cupbearer on Olympus you know.

Menelaus:

I love me a goofy wifeman...But if that's all you see him as, I'm sad. What about the sealy man? (aka him wrestling a god for a while and making him tell him answers) The exiled prince? The younger brother? The angry charioteer who yelled at Antilochus? The man who interfered with his brother's letter to his wife to warn to not bring their daughter? Being the sweet uncle figure for Telemachus? (he and Penelope get a lot of the same treatment in a way. with the whole "just the spouse" ;~; )

Psyche:

I think she's pretty popular, but shout out to her anyway :D Because I love her story a lot.

And last but absolutely not least,

Penelope

Heads up once more, but I'm going to be so fucking mean right now. I'm very tired and runnin on 4 hours of sleep and my tummy hurts. This is all over the place and I'm sad.

I think some of you treat the fact that Odysseus is (rightfully) obsessed with her and adores her as if that's HER personality trait... as while it's adorable to see him simping over her as he does, she's not just there for him (and me) to simp for. In the same vein, I think some of y'all only see her for her love of Odysseus and nothing more. Some folks don't see her as anything more than what she is for Odysseus.

AS IF HER HUSBAND ISN'T JUST AS INTERTWINED WITH HER AS SHE IS WITH HIM!

And yet, there is so much stuff with him about the other people in his life. The other Achaeans, Polites and Eurylochus, Athena, etc. You know Penelope has people in her life other than her husband and her son, right?

Even stuff that's just her, it's usually her weaving the shroud...That still ties back to Odysseus. If you wanna have her weave, maybe have her weave something happily. Maybe her chatting with Anticlea or Athena while she does! Or Helen! or her sister!

There's the saying of "the characters respect women but the author does not" and I'm noticing that a LOT in this fandom. I don't think it's intentional, but it's very telling with what people prioritize in their creations how they feel. (and no, I'm not talking about Homer. He wrote incredible women.)

I'm not saying you're not allowed to have favorites. But even if Odysseus IS your favorite, if you have Penelope so one note or with such weak characterization while having so much for Odysseus, FOR THE MEN WHO HE IS NEAR... It's just really telling.

I've even seen some shit with "Well, there's not much to do with her." as if y'all don't make OCs with less. I've seen people give Astyanax, an AU baby, more characterization than her. (Have him alive in your AUs but if you give him more character than Peenlope, I am side-eying you so hard.)

It genuinely pisses me off how overlooked she is. I hate how her tags are basically empty (honestly? I might start tagging my silliness for her correctly because it has so lil.)

Hey, why do followers of the other tags show up but not for #penelope of ithaca? It's clearly because she has SO many followers/fans that she broke tumblr! Especially with the fact that you can scroll all the way to the bottom pretty quickly! /sarcasm

(btw, before you say something, I know there's no consistent tag for Penelope. I follow many of them. #penelope odyssey is kind of the best bet I believe. #penelope of sparta is mostly about that new show that's coming out and hyping about it. still not about HER. #penelope mostly has some bridgerton character. so yeah. Not much on tumblr)

(shoutout to the artists who got their art on front of the tag! That's exciting! I'm being a mean bitch right now but that's fun and exciting!)

I hate how people see her as so one-note. I hate how she's often just "Odysseus' wife". MOST CONTENT OF HER IS HIM SIMPING OVER HER. (that's something I'm guilty of too! I plan to fix that soon. I have so many wips and so lil time and too high of personal standards because since she has so little content of her, I WILL make it good. I'll TRY to make it good.)

EVEN HEADCANONS! SO MUCH OF FANDOM STILL ONLY HAS HEADCANONS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ODYSSEUS OR TELEMACHUS. GIVE ME SOMETHING ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD. GIVE ME LIL QUIRKS SHE HAS. What does she struggle with? What's her favorite color? Does she like dancing? ANYTHING.

Feelings about how fandom sees her are also summed up by this and this. (Edit: This one too. She's not even dead in the Odyssey but people act like she doesn't exist until Odysseus is there.)

...Do you see my problem? Just one of my problems?

So many people genuinely read the Odyssey and just see her as the "crying wife". People diminish her character and her intelligence all the fucking time. You wanna know something I've noticed? PEOPLE ONLY TALK ABOUT HER INTELLIGENCE WHEN ODYSSEUS IS THERE. Like with how she tricks him and how she tricks the suitors. Nobody talks about the moment when Athena appears as her sister in her dream and she is immediately like "hey, if you're some god, is my husband still alive?" she clocks her as Athena RIGHT AWAY.

People constantly forget her violent thoughts against the suitors! Or when she sasses Telemachus and Euryclea. When she scolds and threatens the maids. (she's not always nice y'all!) Do you really think Odysseus would be obsessed with someone who isn't on his level?

We all know that he loves her. BUT WHY?! "Because she's smart like him." Yeah, we know. WHAT ELSE?

They are Likeminded! Thinking and acting alike! You know how fun that is?!

Homer, you absolute mad lad genius. You made her a mystery to the narrator, Odysseus, and for some reason, people see that as her just being a straight up mystery. You wrote her so wonderfully and so complex with how she is so sneaky in her own way that people are literally tricked by her as readers as well!

Or sadly, more likely, people fucking blackout when she's in the scene and there's no Odysseus. 🙄

Look, even if you have Penelope be the "braincell" who keeps her husband in line, MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS' FUCKING MOM. They're both grown ass adults for fuck's sake!

Also...please...PLEASE have her be more than a prop for the men around her. I've read some things that could literally have her be replaced by Euryclea, as Penelope is sometimes just used as a sounding board.

I'll be even more bitchier. Even in the OT3 she's commonly in. It wasn't a NOTP until I noticed most creations of that ship was just "Odysseus and this person for 6000+ words... Oh, and Penelope making an appearance in the footnotes." If it's an OT3, they all love each other right? Where's the PenDio fics/art, cowards?

I have a weird theory about how people treat her that way. (other than fandom prioritizing men)

So there's "girlbossing" and "uwu sad victim" that fandom can never seem to leave. I think People do this with Helen and Clytemnestra and that's why THEY are "blorbo-able". (not saying they shouldn't be but they definitely get more love than Penelope)

Helen, despite not always being a victim in her story, has been through so much. Kidnapped and some people blame her for it (irl and some people in canon do blame the war on her). Very easy to cling to. I cling to her too! (she's on the "UwU always victim. tragic blorbo" end)

Clytemnestra, is a victim in the sense that she's a grieving and angry mother and wife. And so she killed Agamemnon. Her violence and anger is seen as "girlboss" despite all the horrible stuff she also did to her children. (she's more on the "girlboss" end)

Penelope, is not a victim to the same degree as Helen nor does she murder anyone (how could she? it was 108 people against her and the Odyssey shows that the suitors' parents were enraged. Even Odysseus was skeptical he could beat them.)

She's not on either end of the "scales" for people to find her "blorbo-able". She doesn't murder her husband or the suitors by herself or is a victim to them in the same way Helen is.

And that's just for people who know her husband didn't cheat. I think with people who think Odysseus did cheat, they hate her because "she let it slide". That she's "weakwilled" for knowing her husband went through literal hell and wanting him to be happy and safe.

Idk, It's a little lonely being one of the few "Penelope crazy" blogs.

I sometimes wonder if people kind of come to my blog in a "Hey, can you love her for me? Can you think about her for us?" as I have seen very little on her childhood for example. It's STILL mostly in relation to others.

It's not even the "sharing ideas" that bugs me. it's the feeling of people not wanting to come up with headcanons/ideas for her OUTSIDE of canon.

"She was in Helen's shadow." Okay, well, how did she feel about it? What did she do about it? Did she hide away? Did she internalize that? Did she find that freeing? To not be the center of attention?

Stuff like that. Dive DEEPER. PLEASE

It makes me happy that people love my Penelope as I love her too, clearly. But I really fucking hope you love the CANON Penelope too. If you think I made Penelope "better" or anything like that, then leave. She's already fantastic on her own.

I want to talk about her more. I want her to be seen more.

#lol so pathetic that I'm all weepy about this right now. fucking hormones and cramps and bullshit #I'm allowed a few mean sad rants right?#I'll probably regret this later. as I know I'm swatting a hornet's nest #this is like. a fandom in general rant. like people do this to other female characters too #I almost want the Penelope part to be it's own post? because I think it's important. at least to possibly make people just...SEE her.#i dont know #penelope of ithaca #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #ask #anon #penelope #Water Wife #<-I love my Water Wife but I sometimes regret it. As I think some people actually think it's the only way she can be interesting.#when she's interesting without it. at least y'all SHOULD be thinking of her like that.#penelope of sparta #Mad rants #essay #odyssey

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moe-broey · 2 months ago

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My homunculus

Hashtag my homunculus

#diy plush #i think i was overcomplicating the bodies. like. most basic plush body shape is fine. who gives a shit #also i am maybe regretting the felt for the head... you can see the wear on her already.#alfonse is holding up really well bc his felt was thicker. HUGE pain in the ass to work with #but it did end up making him super sturdy!#i have been thinking of going back and fixing sharena's head (you can see it's misshapen too)#but like. i actually have no idea where i'd start w that. aside from adjusting the shape beneath the head #but i have no idea how i'd fix the issue of her material without like. having to re-do her completely.#at their core these two really are fuck around and find out plushies. i'm learning the importance #of what material to pick and for what purpose.#unfortunately i am gonna do something different for alfonse's body too. the initial one i made #while super cute and i still love the back stitching. i need to readjust proportions #esp if i'm gonna be layering materials for clothes. ESP on this small of a scale.#i have a test run body on alfonse rn that i'm not entirely sold on either. proportions are right #but the craftsmenship is shoddy on it. so. split on even showing it.#also i did succumb to cheating w a sewing machine. which! i need more practice w anyway.#esp if i want to make bigger plushies in the future actually. so. at this point i was just avoiding it #also don't mind the stray pages there LMFAOO one is a comic i already posted and was reffing #for other comics i've been doing. really cool i have like. a backlog of stuff i can ref of my own work actually #i am soooooo obsessed w paneling and placement... nobody talks about paneling and placement......#sharena

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kylermalloy · 8 months ago

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Attack on Titan is a layered, multifaceted story that deals with many, many ideas—prejudice, propaganda, power, love, truth…I could go on. But more than anything, it’s about war. Attack on Titan is a war story. In that sense, it’s no surprise at the number of scenes that utilize fight, either as a concept, action, or just the word itself. It’s a story about fighting.

Or is it?

(It is. But it’s not about the fight. I’ll get there.)

The pivotal moment of the story occurs in season 3, when our characters go from fighting a war they don’t understand to fighting a war they do. The war itself hasn’t changed, nor the world, but now they know what they’re up against. But I’m not here to talk about that pivot—I’m here to talk about the narrative choice that was made a few episodes before that, and the thematic importance of that choice.

I’m here to talk about Midnight Sun.

The choice between Armin and Erwin has long since been a topic of debate amongst AOT fans. Whether it was the right choice, how happy or unhappy it made viewers, why exactly the choice was made, and so on and so forth. I’ve always found it to be a very simple yet effective piece of storytelling—one that walks a very fine line of displaying a core story theme and honoring the characters involved.

Interestingly, Levi, who’s historically a follower and not a leader, is the one to make this very important narrative choice. It was carefully designed, too—everything he’s witnessed so far in this season has led to this moment, and this very important decision he’ll make.

Now of course, as with everything, there’s a Watsonian and a Doylist reason for this decision to bring Armin back and not Erwin. Levi’s role in the choice is primarily a Watsonian one—he was one of the closest characters to Erwin, and he was the one to see Erwin struggle in his last moments before the charge.

Levi outright tells us his thought process after he makes the choice. After Erwin had let go of his dream, his struggle, which was as much a burden to him as a drive to continue forward, Levi thought it cruel to being him back into the world just because humanity needed a devil. It’s a human decision, and Levi made it for someone he cared deeply for.

But from a Doylist perspective, there’s a thematic reason as to why Armin was chosen and not Erwin. Obviously Levi, as a character in the story, is not thinking of what Erwin’s and Armin’s respective dreams are narratively representative of. Levi, in making his choice, didn’t so much as pick Armin as he didn’t pick Erwin. He was letting Erwin go, and he wasn’t thinking about what that would do to the story.

But I am!

Levi has been witness to both Erwin’s and Armin’s dreams, and he’s smart enough to place those dreams within the context of the war they’re fighting.

He asked Erwin explicitly what he would do when his dream was fulfilled—once they got to the basement in Shiganshina and learned the truth of the world. Erwin said he didn’t know.

Conversely, when Armin talked with his friends about after the war, he spoke of the sea. Of exploration beyond the walls, of seeing the wonders he’d only been able to read about. Unlike Erwin, he knew exactly what he would do when the fighting ended.

Now, does this mean to imply Erwin would’ve been useless after reaching the basement? Of course not. Had he survived, he would have continued to lead. But thematically, his purpose in the narrative was to drive the fight forward at any cost. We see this over and over—from the first expedition outside Wall Rose to his last charge against the Beast Titan. That’s what he represents, and that’s what his dream led to.

Armin’s dream, though, extends beyond the fight. He only cares about winning the war in that it will allow him the chance to explore and experience the wonders of the world.

Choosing Armin over Erwin, thematically, represents AOT’s fundamental view on war and fighting. The drive to win is not nearly as important as hope for the future. For after the fight is over.

Armin has always found solace and hope in things other than the war that has defined his and his friends’ lives. He dreams of the ocean. He worships his friends. He lives, as he tells Zeke in the final final final season, for the small moments with them. “Maybe I was born to race Eren and Mikasa up that hill.” That would be enough for him, even without his grand dream of the sea.

I genuinely think this choice is the closest thing AOT has to a thesis statement. This story shows us a plethora of messy situations to which there is no clear-cut solution. It displays a huge range of perspectives and philosophies without telling us what is good and what is bad. (Although it does, very specifically, tell us that genocide is bad, Eren!)

This choice in Midnight Sun, though, is more than a choice between two characters for survival. It speaks to what is most valuable in a world that seems to always be trying to kill you.

What good is winning the war if you don’t have something to hope for beyond that?

In other words, there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #armin arlert #erwin smith #aot #snk #mymeta #kylerrambles #midnight sun my beloved #and i could write a whole other essay on levi’s specific and messy relationship with erwin #but this was the particular thing gnawing on my shoe currently #i think this is somewhat echoed in eren’s final choice #what good is the outside world if you’ve trampled it all? you have to look beyond that!#not to mention this theme is communicated without vilifying either erwin or armin #something which fandom has never been able to do when discussing this particular story beat :P #erwin gets a very dignified though tragic death #and the only one who hates armin surviving (besides floch who is. the worst.) is HIMSELF #take notes fandom!#and it’s explicitly echoed in levi’s final monologue in the final season #he does not regret choosing the kid with that bright spark in his eyes #because as well as erwin fit into the cruel world of aot he needed to be released from it #armin will make the cruel world listen. he will make it BETTER.

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