#i do however feel uncomfortable with the idea that my love for something may actively bring more pain into the world right now

[whispsofwind]

Putting some drama under the cut about the recent GO developments

I thought it over, and I don't think I'll be watching the "season 3 episode" when it comes out.

I love Good Omens, deeply. Good omens was the fandom that made me stop being a lurker online and put my opinions down to share with other fans. I met an amazing community in the fandom and I made so many friends, and the characters and story meant very much to me.

But I don't feel comfortable knowing my engagement may go to support an abuser.

I am not judging anyone for separating the artist from the art and especially I am not going to judge people for supporting the cast and crew of the show.

I just. Don't feel comfortable thinking I may inadvertently contributed, even in a minuscule capacity, to a parasocial relationship that gave so much social power to a person who used that social power to hurt and abuse people.

It's complicated and it's nuanced, but for the time being I'll peace out from that and dedicate myself to things that bring me joy

Just needed to get it off my chest I suppose

[venerawrites]

Hi theree 🌺👋👋

I was wondering if you could make some headcannons for a s/o who has a high sex drive. (Like they love getting pounded by their mans💋💋💋)

With kakashi, sai, shino , and Gaara 🌹

Thank you! Stay hydrated pls 🏊🏊

author's note: oh, such an interesting idea! Hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for requesting <3

warning: 18+ content, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

➤ Kakashi

A s/o who has a libido as high as his? YES, PLEASE!

It is not a secret that Kakashi loves sex - he likes reading about it, he likes thinking about it and he LOVES doing it.

Most of his life he has shielded this side of him from his partners, too afraid they would find it weird or accuse him of being a pervert.

When he got in a relationship with his s/o, both of them were too shy to relax and voice their needs out loud. After they had their first time, however, his partner would quickly forget their morals and would not be shy to literally BEG for his cock.

Kakashi would lie if he says he doesn't love it - there is no sight more beautiful than his beloved on their knees, eyes hazed and hands gripping his tights, while they whine about how bad they need him.

He is definitely a tease, so while he would die to just slam his s/o on his desk and pound into them, he would always restrain himself and edge his lover for as long as he can control himself. Kakashi can and WILL be very mean about it - this man has quite a lot of patience and can prolong foreplay for literally hours.

99% of the time he would give his s/o what they want but that doesn't mean it would always be long and sensual - if he is working or busy in general, all he can offer is 5 minutes of his time and his s/o would have to do all of the work too.

Totally the type to punish his s/o for being a brat later that evening - and, if anything, it would encourage his lover even more to experiment with how far they can push Kakashi's limits.

➤ Sai

Sai is more fascinated by it than turned on by it.

I've always imagined him as someone who likes to have sex occasionally, but doesn't really has a high drive.

Like does it feel nice? Sure, it is pretty pleasurable. But is not something he would actively seek, neither need.

Yet he finds his s/o eagerness to have him inside of them both amazing and cute. There is just something about the way they pressed themselves close to him, looking at him with wide eyes and whispering sweet words into his ear, that really get him going.

He is a very big PLEASER so he would never say 'no' to his s/o advances -even if he is not in the mood to actually have sex, he would always be up to pleasure them with his fingers or mouth.

Sai is not very experimental in the bedroom - preferably he would pound into his beloved either from behind or in a missionary position, but he is always eager to impress and if his s/o shares with him their fantasies, he would make sure to bring each one of them to reality.

Can be quite abrupt and blunt, sometimes putting both himself and his s/o in uncomfortable situations by saying stuff like "You are in the mood, aren't you? I feel your hand going up my leg.", while being out with ALL of your friends.

He would always make sure to show his s/o how sorry he is afterwards tho - and if he was particularly bad, he may even let them punish him for his "bad behaviour".

➤ Shino

Most of the time, Shino would absolutely love his s/o high sex drive.

The thing about this man is that he goes through different periods when it comes to his needs - sometimes he wants to ram into his s/o every day at least twice, sometimes he is not really in the mood for it for weeks.

When he craves some physical intimacy, he would like to play stupid with s/o and pretend he doesn't really understand what they want, till they specifically describe in detail what they want him to do to them.

Just like Kakashi he is a MASSIVE tease - he has an enormous self-control and can edge his lover for a whole day, completely ignoring the almost painful boner in his pants.

Shino has a very high stamina can go for multiple rounds one after the other, making sure his partner is completely satisfied. He would find their limp walk extremely funny the next day.

However, if he is in one of his periods, when he doesn't really feel horny, there is not much his s/o can do - if he is not in the mood for it, he won't do it at all.

He still has some mercy on his s/o so I think if they are very good he would either satisfy them with his hands or will encourage them to use one of the many toys he has brought for them for times like this.

Luckily for his s/o his periods of abstinence rarely last longer than two weeks and once he start feeling needy again, he makes sure to properly show his beloved how much he loves and appreciate them.

➤ Gaara

Right, I feel like I may get hated for this but... this man doesn't really have a high libido. Like at all.

He likes to be intimate with his partner in a way to show them that he loves them every few days or once per week, but it is definitely not an every-day occurrence.

Gaara would find the idea of his s/o needing him so often flattering and he may occasionally give them what they ask for, but I don't see him entertaining it too much.

After all he is a Kazekage and as such he is often either too busy or too tired for sex. He usually gently let his partner know he is not in the mood, but if they bother him at work or during a meeting, he would be bit annoyed with them.

He is not opposed to his lover self-pleasuring, but he won't be the one to go out of his way and actually buy them toys. He respect this as his s/o's private time and doesn't want to interfere with it.

If he is also in the mood, he would openly accept their advances toward him and submit to all of their desires. He is usually the dominant partner, but he is not nearly as cruel as Kakashi or Shino. Most of the times he urges his s/o to tell him what they want, before he rewards them with a long, passionate sex.

Even tho he is not in the mood often, he has quite the stamina and can go for hours if his s/o let him. I think he likes to edge himself more than his partner, making it his mission to make them cum at least a few times before he fills them up.

He is not the perfect lover for someone, who craves intimacy all the time, but is definitely someone who can blow their mind every single time they are doing it.

cc artwork: Rowena Doge

[gougarfem]

how was the process of getting a dumbphone!

oh my god this is something i'm so excited to talk about, sorry it took me so many months to respond!

getting a dumbphone improved my quality of life so so much. i knew my screentime was high, but didn't realise it was a genuine psychological addiction until i quit. the first few days were extremely rough. time seemed to pass about ten times slower, and i was forced to fill the hours with various hobbies and activities. i know we all love to tell people to touch grass, but i really did have to connect with nature and it did wonders for my mental health.

i think for the first three days i was constantly restless and horribly irritable, looked around for my phone every few minutes, felt intense boredom and even cried a few times lol. your addiction may not be as extreme as mine was and this varies from person to person. however, after about a week i realised i remembered everything i'd done each day, because it was filled with intentional activities and little moments of peace rather than a blur of scrolling. i also wasn't on adhd meds yet, which is something i'll talk about in another post.

not having everything at your fingertips is uncomfortable, but (and it's a cliche) you really start to appreciate the world around you more. i looked forward to spending time with my family, because it filled time and i wasn't half-involved in my phone the entire time. i use an mp3 player to listen to music, and uploading music to it is a meaningful and interesting activity, rather than just shuffling a playlist. i listen to whole albums instead of being flooded with dopamine from spotify firing recommended songs at me. i appreciate music more, i make CDs for friends, i have to be intentional in discovering new artists and music. if i'm having an interesting conversation online, i look forward to going home and logging onto my laptop to continue it. i don't spend my commute, time in class, or time with friends texting somebody else. everything feels more intentional, spaced out, and interesting, even the things i do online.

i also found i stopped performing in every activity i did. i stopped thinking about whether i could post it to instagram or instantly send a picture in a discord server. i started picking up new hobbies for myself, not for an online audience, and living in the moment more. this is really important in the modern age, although again uncomfortable.

the best part was how my connections with others increased through having a dumbphone. i started calling friends rather than messaging on five platforms at once, and they started reciprocating. my message threads are continuous, coherent conversations, rather than sending memes. people realised they have to intentionally reach out to me, and i lost relationships with people who weren't interested in that, but strengthened connections with people who did put in the effort (many of whom i barely talked to in the past). i give people my phone number, not my social media handle, and they actually start conversations with me rather than hitting follow. i get to hear my friends' voices when they have drama to share and realise it takes me forever to type on my flip phone keyboard. again, everything is intentional, takes time, and richer than when i had a smartphone.

i genuinely would recommend it to absolutely everyone (i've kind of become like a crossfit guy in telling people to get a dumbphone lol). i won't pretend it's easy, and most people make excuses - for the first few months of having a dumbphone, i was bedbound or in hospital, and truly relied on online connections to pass time and communicate. it still hugely improved my life. however, no matter your situation there are always, always better options than scrolling an app, and you deserve to pass your time in a memorable way. i think most people don't realise they're addicted/reliant on smartphones, and the idea of quitting is horribly uncomfortable, but at least for me, the benefits were worth it.

i'm happy to answer any questions, i literally could talk about this topic for hours (even if it's stuff like "how would i use x app" "how would i replace x smartphone function").

ditch your smartphone babe, u deserve better <33

[melanieph321]

Request 1: can u do no son of mine 3 pls (ik i’m late) but j more maybe where the reader goes in the pool with him and the aunts are romanticizing and the uncles r making sure he doesn’t get toó touchy

Request 2: Hey, can I request Ruben where the reader is pregnant & has symptoms but just blames it on other things, like bloating/eating bad food. Ruben picks up on this and suggests that she may be pregnant? Thank you x

Ruben Dias x Reader - No Son of Mine Part 3

Enjoy!

Another day was spent around the pool. The São Paulo heat made it impossible for any other activity during the summer. You were glad that you and Ruben would be going back to England soon, although you would surley miss your parents, siblings, aunties, uncles and all of your cousins. Being surrounded by a big family made you feel very loved and safe. And you were greatful that the they made Ruben feel the same way.

"Y/N, come on, join me!" Ruben said, whom for the second time urged you to abandon your taning bed and join him in the cool water.

"I'm good here, thanks." You said, to Rubens obvious disapointment. He returned to the children, but did not play with them with the same vigor as before.

"Look what you did." Your aunty hissed. She sat two taning beds down from you, next to your mother and sister. "If you don't join that man in the water right now, you know damn well who will."

"Who?" You frowned.

"Me." She chuckled.

"And us." Your sisters second.

"Me three!"

"Mom?" You gasped.

"We will all go."

Your oldest aunty stood, letting her robe slide off her shoulders and  onto the taning bed. She wore a yellow bathing suit, proud to show it off.

"Alright ladies, let's go!"

"But..."

One by one they all got up, leaving your side to join Ruben, your fiance, in the pool.

"Where are they going?" Your uncles appeard, all of them as confused as you.

"To swim with my man." You muttered.

"Nah uh, not on my watch!"

Your uncle stripped himself of his shirt, dive bombing into the pool without hesitation. The children screamed whilst the aunties laughed and soon everyone jumped in, everyone except for you. But you set your self on the edge of the pool, the fear of being the odd man out if you didn't.

Your feet dangled in the crystal-clear water. The summer sun beating down on your back, warming your skin. You watched the others have the time of their lives, splashing around. You were anxious to join them, something holding you back.

Your stomach churned, the feeling uncomfortable. You had been feeling bloated for the past week, with intermittent headaches and bouts of nausea that left you feeling exhausted. It had become increasingly difficult for you to keep up with your daily routines, and even the idea of slipping into a swimsuit seemed daunting.

Ruben noticed your drifting gaze and waded out of the pool, his wet hair dripping onto his broad shoulders. Sitting down beside you, he gently placed his hand over yours.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked, eyes filled with concern.

You sighed, voice trembling with uncertainty. "I don't know, Ruben. I just feel off lately. I'm bloated, and I've been having all these strange symptoms. It's been bothering me all week."

Ruben's brow furrowed as he listened attentively. He had noticed the change in you and understood the unease, however he was one step ahead of you.

"Have you considered taking a pregnancy test?" He gently suggested.

Your eyes widened, breath catching in your throat. The idea had crossed your mind but seemed too daunting to confront. You had been hoping that the symptoms were just a passing phase or perhaps related to stress. However, Ruben's suggestion made you realize that it may be time to face your fears.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to check," You said, wavering between apprehension and curiosity.

Ruben squeezed your hand reassuringly. "We'll do it together. Whatever the result, we'll face it together and support each other."

Together with Ruben you pushed yourself up from the pool's edge, and together you made your way towards the house. Thankfully your family was too busy to notice.

Entering the bathroom, you unwrapped the pregnancy test while Ruben stood beside you, facing the door. His presence provided much-needed stability.

Silence enveloped as you followed the test instructions, the anticipation reaching its peak. After peeing on the stick all that was left to do was wait. Ruben had stopped facing the wall and held you in his arms whilst you waited, your hearts beating in unison.

Moments later, the test's results appeared, and you gasped, tears pooling in your eyes. Ruben's grip around your hand tightened, his own excitement evident on his face. The test was positive, revealing the beautiful and unexpected answer to your worries.

Overwhelmed with joy and disbelief, You and Ruben embraced, your laughter filling the bathroom. In that moment, all fears and uncertainties melted away, replaced by the exhilaration of new beginnings.

"Do we have to tell your dad?" Ruben spoke into your tight hug. "I don't think he'll be happy to know that I got you pregnant before our wedding."

You laughed. It felt so good to laugh again. As the news sank in, you realized that your worries and discomfort had not been in vain. They were simply a prelude to the miracle growing within you. And with Ruben's unwavering support by your side, you knew that you were ready to embrace every step of this journey, no matter where it led you.

You squeezed his hand, "No, let's tell everyone!"

[moodymisty]

Hey, what's up? I'd like to leave a request. So, I'm from Brazil. Here we are going through a terrible heat wave, it's been terrible to sleep at night. A random thought crossed my mind, and if Pabu's heat was also above average? The reader can't sleep and decides to take a swim in the sea. There she sees that Hunter has made the same decision and I don't know, can the two of them have a make-out session on the beach? 🤭😂

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙| 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: This is such a cute idea. I love midnight swims. I hope you enjoy this, and that the heat spell didn't cause you too much annoyance.

Relationships: Hunter/Gn!Reader

Warnings: Maybe a lil lewd but not full NSFW, Nothing more unless you're scared of the beach.

Word Count: 1353

Perhaps you were a bit too cruel in your comments about the wet weather of Kamino. Or the chill of Coruscant. Because as much as you complained about them individually, at least neither had the overwhelming, soul snuffing humidity that Pabu had. You've woken up again for the third time now, remaining undecided between the windows being open or closed, sheet on your body or off, laying on your side or stomach. This weather just will not abate.

There is absolutely no way you're going to sleep at this rate. Not with heat this sweltering.

With your nightclothes threatening to stick to your skin you put your feet into the cool stone floor, and debate for a moment perhaps sleeping on that instead. It may be terribly uncomfortable, but perhaps the cold of the tile might be better against your skin. It feels good against your feet, at least. Ultimately you decide against it however, and instead decide to do something else.

Stepping outside, you gently close the door behind you and walk barefoot down the path towards the beach, still in your nightshorts and shirt. No one is out this late but yourself, so you don't feel too bad about walking around in less than acceptable attire. Though you're sure most others in the town really wouldn't mind much given where you're going.

When the stone path turns to sand, you can see the waterline rising up and down with the waves. It's gentle, much like the evening except for the heat, and you can already feel the cool ocean breeze on your skin. It feels so much better, breathing feels easier without the hot humidity. It smells like salt and that unique, indescribable ocean scent.

It seems someone else had the same idea as well; As a figure standing up from beneath the water and raking back a mop of long dark hair startles you for a moment.

Until you see the familiar skeletal tattoo that runs along half of his body, and you realize instantly that it's Hunter.

You walk closer, sand between your toes as speak up to cue in the man that you're here, thought given his hearing he probably already knows.

"Couldn't stand the heat either?"

He turns around, watching as you stand just close enough that the water laps at your ankles. He laughs, brushing more stuck strands of hair from his face- water shining against his bare skin. You wonder if he walked out here shirtless, or if it's somewhere you didn't see on the way down.

"Yeah. Felt like I was going to suffocate. Don't know how the others can stand it." Gently crossing your arms across your chest, you sigh at the cooling feeling of the breeze and water against your skin. You can feel the sea mist against your face.

"Wrecker can sleep in an active warzone with no problem. Tech can sleep in this because he's probably pulled three allnighters before and finally crashed." Hunter lets out a quiet laugh.

You come a bit closer, the water lapping at your calves now. Hunter is standing up fully, and you can see that he's wearing black underwear, as the waistband is just visible when the water recedes a bit. The V of his hips and the small amount of hair shines with the waterline.

"Mind if I join you?" You say it genuinely, but there's a bit of an undertone with it that Hunter catches.

There was always something between you and him. But with the Empire, Omega, and everything else, neither of you had the chance to act on it. You sort've just, put it on the top shelf and ignored it for far more serious and important matters. The both of you had.

But with Pabu, maybe there's a chance that you could do something about it. Hunter had said that he liked you, but that he didn't want to complicate an already crowded ship, and risk muddying waters between the you while there was a bounty on all of your heads. It made sense, you agreed, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt a bit.

"Sure. I'd like the company."

You slip off your shorts and toss them up the beach so you're in your underwear and shirt, and walk deeper into the water; Up to your knees, your thighs. Each time you get closer and closer to Hunter. He abruptly stands more rigid when you pass by him, trying to go just a bit deeper for fun.

"Be careful there's tons of-"

Suddenly your leading foot doesn't touch ground and you go stumbling forward, but thankfully Hunter is close enough to catch you. He grasps you tight, managing to prevent you from going fully underneath the water. It's a moment that cues you once again into just how strong he really is, helping you stand upright and his hands staying on you.

"There's drop offs all over cause of the groundquakes. Be careful." The wet skin of his hands grasps your waist, shirt sticking to your skin above them. You smile a bit mischievous, not that scared after having been saved.

"Thanks." He lets out a laugh.

"You never did listen to me."

You always joked that it was because that you were technically not under his chain of command.

Hunter watches you for a moment, eyes just a bit hooded and face relaxed. You notices his eyes glance downward at your lips for a moment, lingering, before he leans in to close the distance and press his wet lips against your own. You can feel the curls of his hair dripping water down onto you, his breath warm on your skin.

Hunter makes no effort to end it, softly groaning into your mouth as his hands slide from awkwardly holding your waist, to resting more so on the small of your back. The tips of his fingers play with the top of your underwear. You can feel the rough calluses of his skin, his strong hands having a weight to them. His tongue brushes against your lips, his body presses closer to yours, even though there isn't much space to remove from between. It's amazing; Like drinking water after not having any for days. Now that you can finally have him you'll never be able to get enough.

Pulling away for a moment of air, you notice a warm look on Hunter's face.

"I was already glad Pabu turned out well for all of us, but," Even if he doesn't outright say it, you agree.

It's nice to be able to finally act on all of this. All of the want and the tension. You don't have to worry about so many things anymore. You just laugh and nod. Your fingers tightly grip each other behind the nape of his neck, keeping him trapped close to you.

"Yeah, it is. No more being crammed in the Marauder like a can of Tooka food."

Hunter can't help but smirk at your joke, silently agreeing. Instead of saying anything however, he presses his lips to yours, taking your bottom lip between his teeth gently as his hair brushes against you again.

If feels good to not have to wait anymore, to be able to wrap your arms around his neck tight. Even if it's just a kiss, it feels like a feast after so long of starving. You don't care if it's in the middle of the ocean, and you're both soaked to the bone with the sunrise about to start. Worst case scenario, you can just go back to your place.

You pull your lips away from his, the soaked fabric of your shirt sticking against his bare chest for just a moment. The outline of your chest is obviously visible from how the fabric suctions to your skin.

"Should we start heading back before the sun starts coming up?" Hunter shakes his head, a soft smirk on his lips. He looks over to the horizon for a moment, before roughly in the direction of where he and his brothers have been staying.

"Nah. We still have time."

[actual-changeling]

Hey there Alex! So, I've loved your content for a bit of a while now and your explanations/insight really gives a lot of clarity to people who either might not understand certain points about Good Omens, need a reality check, or may have missed something. You've also really helped me stop being so shy about my love and defense for Crowley in response to Azi apologists weaponizing his trauma as excuses for the way he treats him.

Anyways! I don't know if you've talked about it before, I think you mentioned it briefly in passing but could you possibly go more in depth about the scene in s2 between them about the Bentley situation. The first time I watched the scene, I remember thinking it was so adorable how Crowley trusted Aziraphale enough with his car and how Azi changed the color of it. However, there was always.... something! Idk that struck me the wrong way and you realize upon watching it again that it wasn't as straight forward at at. I'd like your opinion, since I feel it really plays into that constant dynamic of Crowley being uncomfortable for Aziraphale's sake once again.

Do you think he was actually okay with it in the end?

Why did Azi choose this rather than by train?

Does the Bentley truly like the Angel?

If Crowley is connected to the Bentley, how come he doesn't seem to realize when Shax was in it with Aziraphale?

Thank you, that's really nice to hear! I'm glad that my posts have been helpful in a number of ways 💚

Now, I have THOUGHTS on the Bentley scene, excellent questions!

It is another one of those moments that seems sweet on the surface but is actually deeply uncomfortable to watch once you look past that. Let's start with the easy ones and then work our way through the scene in chronological order.

Why did Azi choose this rather than by train?

Aziraphale is basically roleplaying at this point. His weird obsession with his "Clue" has turned into a performance similar to his horrible magic acts; his facial expressions and body language change and become more theatrical when he talks to Crowley about it. At this point, he has probably already decided that he will pretend to be a journalist for no other reason than fun. Driving a car instead of going by train is presumably a part of that, it's an elaborate fantasy he's trying to live out—similar to the ball later on.

We have to keep in mind that while Crowley is aware of the gravity of the situation, Aziraphale is actively choosing to ignore it. Going to Edinburgh for fun is a horrible idea considering the danger they're in, but Aziraphale does not care.

Does the Bentley truly like the Angel?

I think the Bentley likes him exactly as much as Crowley likes him, simple answer but tbh that's really it.

Do you think he was actually okay with it in the end?

Now, the one million pound question: Did Crowley willingly give him the Bentley or did Aziraphale coerce him into doing so? Before we answer this one, there are some more things to consider.

Firstly, the circumstances.

With Shax in his flat and Jimbriel in the bookshop, Crowley has exactly one safe place left: the Bentley. It is HIS, it is mobile, it does not belong to anyone else, and he has a connection to it, meaning that he protects the Bentley but the Bentley also protects him.

We saw Crowley's intense reaction to Gabriel's presence, and it's not 'funny' or 'dramatic', it is Crowley being deeply traumatized by heaven, his fall, and the trial, and there's a very high chance Gabriel was involved in his fall, too. What Aziraphale is essentially demanding of him the entire season is that he locks himself in close quarters with his abuser, who can literally kill him on the spot.

Crowley is fucking terrified, he cannot sleep, he is hypervigilant and even more paranoid than usual, his mood swings get worse, he is a mess—and Aziraphale does not take any of his concerns, emotions, or needs seriously.

Secondly, past experiences and boundaries.

Whenever Aziraphale needs a lift, Crowley is happy to provide one, he enjoys driving him around. Emphasis on him being the driver. Aziraphale has not once driven the Bentley, and it is safe to assume that Crowley has never once OFFERED that he could drive it. That alone should be enough for Aziraphale to not ask that question in the first place, but it isn't.

It also means that Crowley does not expect the question and—when probably at some point asking himself the question whether he'd be okay with Aziraphale driving it—decided he does not want anyone but himself in the driver's seat.

So how does Crowley react when Aziraphale demands the keys to the Bentley?

Oh right, yeah, let's actually talk about that first. He does not ask.

Aziraphale does not ask. I cannot overstate how important it is that he does not ask Crowley if he can drive the Bentley. This is how their conversation goes:

There is no question. "I will take the car" is Aziraphale informing Crowley of a decision he has already made without consulting him—wow, I wonder when that will become relevant again?

final fifteen *cough*

Before he asked, Crowley was rather relaxed (or as relaxed as he can possibly be in his situation), but that changes immediately.

First picture is when he asks Aziraphale about what time his train is, the other two are when he says 'what car'.

His back straightens, his shoulders tighten and freeze, he snaps his jaw shut and grinds his teeth, chin up, mouth lips pressed together—I interpret this as initial panic plus a spark of anger over "our car".

Crowley denies Aziraphale ownership of the Bentley, saying that no, there is no "our" car, this is MY car. It is clear, simple boundary, but Aziraphale went into this conversation having already decided that he will take the car, no matter what Crowley thinks about it.

While he might sound all cheery and excited, look at his body and the expression on his face. That smile is fake, it's bordering on angry, and it is sending a very clear message to Crowley: I want this car and you will give it to me. Once again, my way or the highway.

Bringing up the bookshop is him trying to "out-logic" Crowley, but it does not work because

a) Crowley very much does not consider the bookshop to be "theirs"

b) even if he had, the bookshop is no longer a safe place because of Jimbriel

c) Aziraphale KICKED HIM OUT of the bookshop in the first episode, establishing that Crowley is a guest and nothing more.

He then intentionally misinterprets Crowley saying that he "can't drive [his] Bentley" and mentions his license. Again, entirely irrelevant because that is not even remotely the problem.

Throughout their conversation, Crowley becomes more and more uncomfortable and panicked. This is not a squabble or banter, this is Crowley trying to protect the one thing he has left and Aziraphale not giving a fuck.

Now, the REAL banger here is that after pushing Crowley this far, he then suddenly dumps the rest of his "decision" on him: stay with a person that has severely harmed you, alone, without a way of escaping. This is where Crowley grows from panicked and angry to genuinely frightened.

He stops Aziraphale from touching it—rightfully so—and then reaches out himself to calm himself; it is right there, my car is right next to me, it's okay. Aziraphale ignored all of his attempts to set and enforce boundaries, ignored his panic and emotional state, ignored what Crowley was telling him, ignored everything Crowley told him BEFORE, and keeps pushing pushing pushing until the very end.

So to circle back to your question, no, Crowley is absolutely not fine with Aziraphale taking the car by the end; he fights him right up until the moment he begrudgingly gives him the keys.

It is a very good example of their current relationship dynamic, and personally it actually hurts to watch it happen. Anyone who has gone through trauma around privacy, safety, and personal effects knows how terrifying and traumatizing it is to have your boundaries repeatedly violated like that.

Aziraphale is being manipulative and coercing Crowley into doing what he wants; it's fucked up, and this doesn't even begin to deal with happens later.

If Crowley is connected to the Bentley, how come he doesn't seem to realize when Shax was in it with Aziraphale?

Maybe he did but did not really care because Shax has been in the Bentley before (just like Beez), maybe he is too distracted by Jimbriel and potentially being murdered in his sleep to pay much attention to Aziraphale on his way back.

Maybe he DID notice since he does ask Aziraphale if something happened, and then once again makes the mistake of trusting him when he denies it.

Without more information I can only speculate, but, personally, I think Shax being in the Bentley was not too big of a deal for Crowley even if he noticed it.

As always, if anyone has follow-up question, feel free to ask!

[mysaldate]

Vil's agency and my worries for the upcoming event

Alright, time for another analysis, once again centered on Vil. Disclaimer to start with because people love to take what I said out of context: This post will have my worries about the upcoming Halloween event (Playfulland) which comes out in two days. It is entirely possible that I am wrong about what I'm going to say here but as I will hopefully explain in this post, there is a disturbing pattern regarding Vil and his agency as a character going on in the game which makes me worried this event will fall into the same routine. I am not claiming this event will absolutely 100% do what I outline here and I am not saying the event is bad before it even came out.

Side note before we delve into this, I already do not like this event visually, I find the style tacky and cheap and all over the place. However, I recognize some people enjoy it. This post is not about that, I will not be trying to make you dislike the event, and I expect the same respect back. Now, onto the analysis.

When seeing the previews and plot synopsis for the new event, something felt off to me, uncomfortably so. As some of you may already know, I am fairly sensitive to loss of agency in canon, especially for characters I relate to, because it reminds me of my own history of abuse. "Turning the characters into puppets" seems like a premise ripe with loss of agency and the wording of the synopsis as well as the promo video did little to elevate these concerns. Specifically when it came to Vil.

Now, I probably don't have to explain why the idea of Vil getting indulgent and forgetting about the real world and ending up a puppet of his desires goes against his entire character. Then again, the event isn't out yet so I can't tell for sure if that is what's going to happen. The synopsis seems to hint at it and given twst's past events, the ones to snap out of it will most likely be the SSRs or, at most, the story sr, which is Floyd. Then I began to think back on other events and cards Vil has and I came to a very disturbing realization: Vil gets punished for showing agency and rewarded for not having any. Allow me to elaborate.

In many of the stories Vil shows up in, we see a strange push to punish Vil for being active and taking charge of events or we see Vil being passive and reactive and getting rewarded for that. In the Sunset Savannah event, Vil doesn't want to go originally but is convinced and dragged along by Leona. He doesn't join the event because he wants to but because he's bribed to. During the event, he shows more agency and begins to be more active – which then results in him getting his ankle twisted. This isn't a one-off situation either. In Beans Day, Vil is very active and shows off his leadership skills as well as his amazing planning and prediction abilities. How does this pay off? Rook shows up out of nowhere and captures him, putting him out of the game. Once again, Vil had agency and then got punished for it. During Vargas Camp, Vil is once again on top of things. He is a leader, he is a wonderful outdoorsman, and he shows lots of agency. How does the game treat this? He is forced to forfeit his agency for weeks to Azul because we are meant to believe Vil and Trey – two of the most competent mages at NRC – would not be able to get by without Azul's help. Azul is the R in this event.

But it's not event SRs either. I have already talked about Vil's labcoat story previously but looking at it from the perspective of Vil's agency reveals something I didn't realize at first. By the time the game came out, Vil's foundation of the Film Research club was one of his biggest acts of agency we were directly confronted with. In Vil's labcoat story, he exercises further agency by going out of his way to prepare for an important shooting. How does the game treat this? He is gaslit and made to feel insecure by Rook to the point where he begins to skip meals. And how does he get out of this state? Does he do an introspection and realize Rook was just trying to manipulate and control him? Does he ask someone for a second opinion? No. He is approached by Trey who then convinces him to eat cake with him. Vil is not only punished for showing agency but also rewarded for giving his agency up and just doing what people tell him to.

Well, maybe that's just his SRs though. Surely in his SSRs where he is meant to be the main star, this isn't the case, right? Well... His dorm uniform story is about a magazine wanting an interview with him. Right off the bat, Vil is the reactive element here. Vil then puts together new schedules and begins to get his dorm in an even better shape – which gets him complaints and grumbles from everyone. He is punished for showing agency even though it is to the other students' benefit. Vil doesn't let up and exercises further agency by adjusting the meal and exercise plans to be personalized – and he gets Rook telling him that nobody cares anyway and he is just wasting his time. Yes, the dorm members quietly change their opinion of Vil but they never tell him. The only feedback Vil has is from Rook who is, once again, punishing him for having agency.

Vil's Scalding Sands SSR card doesn't have a story but that doesn't stop it from taking away any agency Vil might've had. Not only did he not actually visit Scalding Sands, he wasn't even the one to obtain the outfit. Rather, Trey brought it to him as a gift because Kalim's parents just gave it away. Mind you, this note was completely unnecessary. The only purpose it serves for Vil is making sure he doesn't have any agency at all after already taking away what could've been an interesting story.

And then we get to Halloween. The first Halloween event was a huge breath of fresh air for Vil. He is very active and shows tons of agency. Vil is part of the Halloween committee, he oversees costume themes and makeup, he is one of the key pieces of the plan to scare away the Magicamonsters, he shows more agency than he did in the rest of the stories altogether. What is the outcome of all this? Well, he is promptly kidnapped the following night, possessed by a ghost, and made to act shamefully in front of his friends. Wow. Complete mind-control and erasure of any hint of agency specifically for the reason of him having agency in the first event.

But I hear you, all of these are just events or cards, someone else might be writing them. There's no way this is how he's meant to be seen in the main story, right? Well... Not exactly. And to make one thing clear, I am not caught up on every single tweet Yana Toboso makes. I know people have been saying for months now that Vil is Yana's favorite character but I have yet to see any proof of the claim. It started around the time Vil's Scalding Sands SSR dropped and most of it back then read as jealousy. Whether or not that was the case, I cannot tell. If this is the treatment Vil gets as a favorite character, I just hope Yana never takes a liking to me (this is a joke).

The first time we really meet and interact with Vil in the main story in any sort of meaningful way and without him just being lumped up with the rest of the dorm leaders is in Book 2, and he is quickly ridiculed and mocked for showing agency in caring how he will look during the Magift tournament. And yes, I know the novel made tweaks to this set of scenes, the novel isn't canon to the game and it showed so on multiple occasions. So right off the bat, not a great start for Vil's agency as a character.

We barely see him after that up until Book 5. Now, I have a whole post about the meaning of Vil's overblot that you can read here but this time, I want to focus on something else about this chapter. This chapter is a masterclass on how to punish a character for showing agency. Vil is painted as unreasonable and over the top from the start, be it in providing legitimate criticism to the VDC tryouts or in getting upset at his agent for violating his boundaries and signing him up for roles he explicitly doesn't want to play. Both of these are treated by the story as flaws and issues when neither of them really is. Vil being strict with the other VDC group members is for their good as well as his own. And Vil setting up boundaries over which roles he is and isn't willing to take stems from his history of being typecasted and dehumanized for his casting (I go deeper into this in the other Vil analysis post). Both of these are healthy displays of agency, yet the main story frames them in a way that makes Vil seem unreasonable for doing these things.

Vil's agency brings him a temporary reward but that is immediately taken away when during the preliminary tryout performances, he is overtaken by an objectively mediocre performance. All his hard work, all his agency, is immediately thrown out the window for the sole purpose of making him feel miserable. Once again, he is punished for exercising his agency. What he does next and his overblot are exceptions to this as Vil used his agency to do something objectively bad and the resulting overblot is more of a natural consequence than a punishment (albeit I have my gripes with how the overblot was handled as well). The final nail in the coffin in book 5 came after the overblot when Vil, once more, exercised his agency to push through his pain and still perform. Not only was he punished for his efforts by losing the competition but he was then further berated for the overblot yet again (as well as being gaslit once again by Rook, this is nothing new).

I've heard some people say that Book 6 is good in this regard, that it gives characters agency and character development. I disagree with this claim. Vil, together with the other overblotees, is kidnapped and locked up, then used as test subjects. This is about as far removed from them having agency as can be, except perhaps the ghost possession plot earlier. There is some vague talk about having to sign a consent slip but 1) this is already ridiculous after having abducted them with the use of excessive force, and 2) we are never given any reason to believe signing was their choice and not something forced out of them. They are then experimented on and that's a whole mess that removes any and all agency from everyone present. The issue with Vil specifically is that in Vil's case, this has been a pattern for a while at this point. And then we get to the Shroud brothers overblotting... Saving the world because you would be one of the people dying if it ended is not agency and it is not character development. I know the chapter tried to give Vil and everyone else a "reason" to stop the overblot but that doesn't erase the fact that if they didn't, they would die. This isn't agency, this is having a sense of self-preservation. Even if some other version of them would get to live happily and get everything they ever wanted handed to them on a silver platter, it would not be them, and they would still be either dead or erased from existence altogether (this is a side note but how exactly would resetting the universe even work? Nothing else anywhere in the franchise suggests this is even an actual possibility. Even Malleus, one of the top five mages in the world could only lock away one island by using so much magic he overblotted. Book 6's plot breaks the worldbuilding in so many ways- but that's a tangent for another time).

The one and only moment of Vil having agency in book 6 comes when he jumps in to save Idia's life. And while Idia, who has been under the influence of Tartaros for way longer and spent so much more time in it, is perfectly fine, Vil gets "aged up" a hundred years. This is not only bad writing which makes no sense but also a tremendous punishment for Vil as someone who relies on his looks for several of his jobs as well as being someone who puts so much effort into his appearance. Of course, that is not even mentioning that the supposedly older version of him looks nothing at all like Vil, has a completely different body type and face structure, and is a nod to magical transformation and not aging. Vil showcased his agency and immediately got punished for it in the most horrendous way for the character. How does Vil get out of this situation? Does he utilize his vast knowledge of potions and magic to revert himself back? Does he figure out a way to curse himself to turn back to normal? Does he seek council with a powerful or knowledgable mage, perhaps a teacher? No. He cries at the beach and doesn't do anything and then Malleus comes around, snaps his fingers, and returns everything back. Vil is not only punished for showing agency, but he is once again actively rewarded for not having any.

So, why do I believe this event will involve loss of agency for at least some of the characters? Because Vil is involved and twst has made it a pattern to rid Vil of agency. Why am I worried about this event? Because every time Vil becomes active, he gets a slap in the face for his efforts and sometimes is even rewarded for just sitting there and looking pretty. This is not what I want from a character like Vil, or from any character really. At this point, Cinderella and Snow White from the original Disney movies had better agency than Vil because when they showed agency and took active hold of their parts in the story, they were adequately rewarded, not slapped in the face for it.

Now, I am sure this leaves you with some questions, so I will try to answer those I could come up with myself here. Why do I only mention Vil when other overblotees lost their agency in book 6 and had their agency treated as wrong in their books? Because none of them were quite like Vil. None of them got punished in a twist of bad writing for saving someone's life. And their negative agency was things that were actively harmful to others such as Riddle being an unreasonable tyrant kicking people out to sleep outside, Leona trying to murder people, Azul enslaving others, etc. Vil's negative agency throughout the chapter was setting boundaries for himself and expecting people to work for the money they hoped to win.

Why am I not talking about the other characters who got possessed? Because, for the most part, it was a once-and-done deal. Yes, some of them are now showing up in Playfulland (Cater, Jade, etc.) but these characters don't have a pattern of having their agency taken away or punished at nearly every opportunity.

Why do I harp on Rook so much? Because he's the textbook definition of a gaslighter, he constantly puts Vil down, he's often used as a tool to punish Vil's agency, he actively tries to isolate Vil from other people and make him doubt his own perception, and because he thinks it is his place and his place only to judge and punish Vil for whatever he deems incorrect. And just in case I need to stress this, which I shouldn't, I am an abuse victim. I went through literal decades of gaslighting paired with other types of mental and physical abuse. Rook's wording, actions, and general patterns of behavior, are all things that hit so close to what I experienced that he used to be a legitimate trigger for me, and still makes me incredibly uncomfortable. This is, of course, not to say you cannot like the character. But denying what he does and mocking abuse victims for speaking out about their experiences isn't the same as enjoying a problematic character. The way Rook is brings active harm both to Vil as a person and to his agency, which is to be expected of a character like this.

I would like to close this up by saying that I am aware these may be conscious choices to showcase how resilient Vil can be, how he never gives up in the face of adversity, and how he perseveres in spite of all these horrific things happening to him. But at some point, it gets tiring to see your comfort character get beaten down on every turn. It gets depressing to see him never succeeding and always getting hurt or abused for just being active and taking charge of his own life. There are ways to show resilience that don't involve punishing every time a character shows agency. There is also no reason to punish that but then reward loss of agency. When Vil gives up and stops trying, that should not be the moment things start going well. Malleus shouldn't have to swoop in and magically restore Vil's youth when Vil just passively accepted that he is just going to look like this now and, if the accident truly aged him and didn't just transform his body (which would make a lot more sense), possibly die within the next few weeks or months.

Ultimately, I do not like how twst treats Vil. I hope to see this improve but I wouldn't count on it. It's not so bad that I want to leave the game over it but it is a part of what worries me about the stories to come, especially with the new event and book 7 and what they probably have in store. For now, I will remain cautiously optimistic and hope it at the very least won't be as bad as book 6.

If you've read this far, thank you so much, I appreciate you, feel free to let me know your thoughts, preferably in a polite and civilized manner. I'm down to discuss many parts of this but there are also a few that I don't see myself budging on (such as gaslighter Rook). For the most part tho, I am always happy to talk to people about my analyses and takes on things pertaining to my fandoms. Thank you again for your attention and I'll see you next time something gives me this much of a brainrot.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Genuine question and I'm seriously not trying to shame here but from the perspective of someone who writes rpf, don't you think that would make Chris and Seb really uncomfortable? Like look obviously the chance of them seeing it are zero to none right, but they're still real people, you know? They cant consent to being written into that type of content and I cant imagine how uncomfortable it would be to know there is content like that out there about you and your coworker/friends.

And maybe theres something I'm missing out on here but do you see where I'm coming from? Honestly like, seriously, honestly I'm not hating, I love a lot of your work. I guess I'm just asking what the thoughts behind it are?

Hey,

I feel like that's a fair question, yeah. And as someone who's active in the kink community in real life, I can assure you that I am very aware of consent and boundaries, so I see that side, too.

I get the ethics/non-ethics of real person fanfiction, I really do.

Further, I have had my own internal debates about RPF. I don't recall exactly what I thought when I first discovered RPF, but I know I didn't get it right away and steered myself away from it for a bit. Eventually, though... I started to understand what it was all about, and I began to think I the way I do now.

To me, it's fanfiction, and I am acutely aware of both of those things that make up that word. It's for the fans. It's fictional. I can hold both of those understandings at the same time as participating in fandom.

(That wording makes it sound like I feel as though I am holier than thou, but that's not what I mean. I really am just speaking from my own perspective. I have no idea if everyone in the fandom can relate or no one can, lol.)

As being for the fans--it is not supposed to cross the boundary of bleeding into real life and being shown to the people who it's about or the characters that they play. I follow that rule strictly. I have no interest in showing fanfiction to the people it's about or even heckling them about it. That's a boundary I will respect and actively defend. (Especially now considering that Chris is married and Seb is in a serious relationship. I will never condone people being mean to their real-life partners just because it threatens their ships.)

And the few times I've had someone ask me if they could send my writing in the direction of who it's about (I can't find any exact examples right now, thanks Tumblr search system, ugh, so you'll just have to trust me, lol), I always have a little panic and go on a (hopefully polite) rant to say NO!! PLEASE DON'T FUCKING DO THAT! THAT IS NOT WHAT MY WRITING IS FOR! Trying my hardest to explain why. The why is as you say--the people haven't consented to that.

Now, yes, I have a work (titled "Character Bleed") that plays into the fantasy of Sebastian stumbling onto stucky fanfiction and getting into it with Chris, but that's just it, it's fantasy. I have a disclaimer before the fic begins about that. Do. not. share. this. with. the. actors.

However, I feel the same way about my writing that I do about porn, generally. Porn is a fantasy. Porn is not the real world. Porn can often not (or should not) be extrapolated out into real life. And adults who consume porn have a responsibility to understand that. There is a difference between fantasy and how social scripts work.

(To some degree, it's like how you may think about a porn actor--you have all this connection to them in your fantasy world, but if you were to see them in real life, you don't have permission to do or say anything to them that's inappropriate. Obviously, porn actors concent to being someone's fantasy in a way actors don't, unless they're in sex scenes even that isn't the same, but it's similar enough for this discussion.)

As for it being fictional--it isn't real. Clearly, lol. I've already kind of talked about that, but to further go on:

To me, it is obvious that it's not real. I don't know the people I write about, and I know that well. The pseudo relationship that exists is one-sided and barely skin-deep.

Also, personally, I don't actually believe in my heart that evanstan, for example, are together or that shit went down between them. Sure, their chemistry together is undeniable, but that doesn't mean anything. They're coworkers and friends. And the same can be said for a million other real life people that're shipped together.

If I were ever to meet either of them, Sebastian or Chris, I wouldn't act familiar with them. I use their public personas like characters, I know. I know how that can be looked at as unethical or problematic. But I can realize at the same time that I know nothing of them really.

I hate to call people out, but I once saw a clip of someone calling Sebastian "sweetie" and telling him to finish his food in a jokey yet dominant-ish way, and... yikes. I just. I know it's a fandom joke that I even propogate, that Sebastian's a sub, but that makes me cringe. You don't know him, and that's a friendship-to-a-romantic-partner boundary to cross. Please don't. I'm sure being starstruck and flustered plays a part, but, again, you don't know him.

So, my blabbering aside, I think that's what I come down to with my RPF feelings--admittance and understanding that I don't know these people. I don't claim to. I enjoy the parts of them I see, and I play up those parts to tell stories surrounding them, like playing with dolls. I probably shouldn't, but because I also know that, I try to keep it to myself and this community the best I can. Fandoms often get a bad wrap for being crazed and not knowing boundaries, but they're not all like that. We can be contained and appropriate within limits.

Hopefully, some of that was understandable? I don't know, I think I just... rambled? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[iceunhie]

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[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about SOTUS episode 3 :

The students still have to do the hazings and it's not going easy for any of the freshmen. Even their seniors (sophomores, I guess) have it tough because the third year are not happy. Among all these things, the freshmen also have to find a student president to represent them and Kong has to represent the engineering students for the faculty's star contest.

▪️ As for the hazings I can't believe they truly believe it will have a positive impact on group bonding, as it was suggesting by the seniors. Many of the activities they gave them seem to be pointless and only contribute in putting the students in uncomfortable situations (remember the girl who hyperventilated) or humiliate them (such as the stupid commands given to get the senior signatures). In this episode, they have to chant. It really seems like a waste of time. I know the hazings are just a plot device to make the story goes further and show Kong and Arthit's different reactions and confrontations. However, I wonder if it's truly useful to increases solidarity. This wasn't really popular when I was a student and also it wasn't really something done in my country. I already saw this kind of activities done in American movies. Is it popular in Thailand, too?

▪️ This episode gave an opportunity for three other secondary characters to shine. The first one is M. In the previous episode, he was just this shy freshman who was a “childhood” friend of Kong. He seems to be easily fearful and would like to avoid any kind of attention. When you compare him to Kong, you'll feel he isn't really capable of standing his ground. Yet, in this episode, he gathered his courage and asked for Kong to stay in the group. I was really impressed because I never thought he would be the kind of person to ask this. Especially, as he seems to be quite overwhelmed when he has to go against a senior. Arthit inspires fear in most of the freshmen at this point of the story, so to go against what he said, was truly a feat for M. I believe a true selfless act always sparks another and as Kong usually tries to save everyone, it was pleasant to see someone fights for him. I can understand why they are friends. M may be less effusive, but he is a true friend when it's needed.

▪️ The second character who got the chance to shine in this episode, was Knot, another third-year senior. He is viewed as less strict than Arthit, but he also inspires respect. I'm absolutely not impartial when I said I was charmed by him. His character looks like the kind of person you can rely on. Of course, he wasn't super nice to the freshmen. He asked them about the signature book and why they haven't realized this simple task which made the freshmen uncomfortable again. He was also the one who bought the idea of appointing a student president for their year. I know he didn't do that much, but it was important because it was the first time when Arthit wasn't seen as the leader of the hazings. Something happened and the next best person to take after Arthit, was Knot. I believe it shows how reliable he can be. Oh and also I find him truly handsome. There is something about him. I can't really explain.

▪️ The last character who we get to know more is May. She was the student, Kong failed to remember the name in the previous episode. He gave her his name tag and since then, she felt for him. She finds him interesting and she is set as a potential love interest. It was funny to see the group of girls bringing this Japanese belief of writing the name of your crush on an eraser. You have to know the first time I heard it was when I read the manga My Love Mix-Up (I also watched the drama). I wonder where does it come from? Is it just a young belief or does it come from another book/manga? Of course, May will write the name of Kong on the eraser he gave her. I don't think it will end well.

▪️ Time to talk about my favorite part of the series which is everything related to Arthit and Kong. I'm slowly liking them more and more. Kong was staying true to himself and wanted again to save everyone when Arthit was disappointing by the second-year students teaching. He really has the syndrome of the white knight. Obviously it sparked another confrontation between them. The tension between these two! Arthit can't help himself, he always gets so annoyed by Kong, especially when Kong refuses to just stay still. What I find so interesting is how Kong always forgives him so easily and even thinks Arthit's actions are a proof he is having a fondness for him. It leads of course to more flirting and I live for these small moments. Kong's flirting is top-tier and it always leaves Arthit to be speechless. I feel a bit sorry for Arthit (not really) because he can't win against him. He ended up again flustered. I really appreciate how shameless and bold Kong is when it comes to flirting with his senior.

I don't even know if he realizes how down bad he is for Arthit. I mean he can't help himself and look for him everywhere, especially now that he noticed Arthit's room is just in front of his own room. When Knot acted as the leader of the senior during the gathering, Kong wasn't really listening, he was just looking after Arthit and felt nervous until he saw him. When he went to the photoshoot for the faculty's star contest, he asked questions about Arthit. Kong can't help himself, he is so interested in anything related to his favorite senior and it shows! When he met Arthit at the canteen he was again ready to do all the dumb things the guy may ask him (like eating spicy food even if he doesn't like or saying out loud a prayer even if it's embarrassing). As much as Arthit pretends to be annoyed by Kong, he can't help his true nature of being a real softy. I actually like how the story shows us he is not just a bully who like to harass freshmen. I believe Arthit is not really capable of dealing well with his feelings. I also think it must be hard for him to pretend to always be a tough cookie.

▪️ Finally, I have one intrusive thought… Is Pink Milk a thing? What's the taste of this drink? There is a drink in my country which looks the same, but I don't know if it's the same thing. It's funny how Arthit who always pretend to be a tough guy likes this type of drink. It helps to soften his image. I feel like the Pink Milk has its own place among famous inanimate objects in BL series such as the cactus, the astronaut or the rubber ducky. (This thought was inspired by this post!)

I wonder if the next episode will be about the faculty's star contest and what new stupid hazings' activity the freshmen will have to do. Most importantly, what new flirting will Kong do to Arthit.

[onethousandrbirds]

hey! sorry to ask, i'm just curious but i cannot figure it out — what is the one that's suspiciously missing from those bad kink posts? (i tried looking at the notes for clues but lasted about a second before being taken out by the people asking this random person on the internet what kind of sex they're allowed to have. i feel like i'd need... idk a psychology degree to even begin to understand how someone gets there.)

oh, no big. i wrote both of my posts to be both playfully obtuse—you were never going to find clues in the notes b/c i don't think anyone there noticed the same thing i did. also this might be a bit long, so feel free to skip down to the TLDR; under the cut

so in both linked posts that i was responding to the overall thesis is "being pro-kink doesn't mean loving all of them but it does mean recognizing that what consenting adults do together is neither a moral failing or any of your business" and they mention some controversial kinks (ageplay, cnc, incest shipping, fauxcest, petplay, somnophilia, intoxication kinks, and much more¹) as an example of this idea.

because they name kinks that people often find themselves having intense feelings about re: their morality and their ethical performance, i noticed within these lists a lack (technically a lot of lacks since it would be impossible to list off every controversial kink in existence, but that's neither here nor there in this moment). but for example, in posts that gesture towards this overall idea of "pro-kink" or "neutral support of kink" often seem incapable of recognizing that kinks based on bigotry—race play for instance (this will serve as my main example for the rest of this response)—exist as well.

and my observation that i was originally talking around was that perhaps kinks like that one can't be brought up alongside the others (regardless of the baggage they all may carry) because maybe the OP really does think that one is a unique brand of evil or because their knowledge of kink is pretty limited and thus their own perspective of their idea might be limited or because they recognize that to even broach that topic with something that degree of abject would get a theoretical reader to stop listening entirely. but who knows for sure though?

like, that particular kink does make me VERY uncomfortable (for obvious reasons, i hope) and so whenever i see posts like the two linked here that gesture broadly to "scary" kink being okay but somehow never seem to mention ones like this, i get suspicious. and that's not a ding on either of these posts i'm responding to! instead it's me doing a meta thought experiment of sorts. like the posts are right: if you are "pro-kink and pro-weird nasty gay sex" then you do have to accept that there's gonna be something in that classification you will find abject but your disgust doesn't define the morality of those acts. however! it's pretty easy to remember that in the face of kinks that maybe only exist as abstract ideas and that you may have only dealt with in the theoretical space rather than ones that may (or may seem) to effect you on a material level!

which brings me back to the absence of mentioning certain "bad" kinks. i've been in school studying literary analysis for the past 12 years of my life. one of the earliest things they teach you to do is "observe what a text is saying, but also what it is (or can)not." and so when i see posts like the two linked above i can't help but find it interesting (in a completely neutral sense, i swear) when i notice these recurring absences. i also can't help but speculate about them either, but speculation requires active thought which i might not always have the wherewithal for.

(and to digress re: the weird discussion you noticed in the notes: that just sounds like people cosmically missing the point to avoid thinking about the matter at hand.)

so tldr; there isn't a "one" actually. i was just observing that, even in a laissez faire approach to kink, something has to still remain unspeakable or unmentioned—especially when communicating to groups of people who might stop listening entirely if one takes the laissez fair perspective to its logical conclusion in an explicit manner or if one feels that perspective might require them to "accept/like/tolerate" things which may be pretty dang close to sources of harm in their everyday life.

i hope this all made sense/helped

¹ the "and much more" in this post technically covers the wide swath of even more unforgivable/unspeakable kinks but notice: still it cannot/does not/will not name drop them specifically and instead rhetorically relies on you, the reader, to fill in that blank for it

[satoruxx]

some things to know byf :: 

☽  this blog will mostly be sfw but occasionally will have nsfw content. dni with my nsfw content if you are under the age of 18. minors are welcome to interact with my sfw works but you must be 18+ if you want to interact with my nsfw content. additionally, DO NOT interact with me if you are a minor who openly writes/interacts with nsfw content. i know i can’t control what media minors consume but don’t advertise it to me.

☽  minors please block the tags : #[𐐪— rheya thirsts. 𐑂] + #[𐐪— mdni. 𐑂]. again, if you’re a minor and i catch you interacting with posts under these tags i will block you.

☽  blogs without an age in bio or pinned post will be blocked. i take no responsibility if you are a minor invading spaces meant for adults. if you do not have your age somewhere on your blog, i won’t be taking any risks and i will block you. if you are a minor and i see you interacting with my nsfw works, i will immediately block you. 

☽ i do not allow any translating, reposting, crossposting or anything of the sort. even if you give credits, i do not want any of my works being posted anywhere other than my own accounts. as of right now, that is only on tumblr and ao3.

☽  basic dni rules apply. i do not want drama or negative discourse on my page. this is supposed to be a place where i can express myself and interact with others freely. if you don’t have nice things to say, keep your mouth shut. 

☽ this blog is not spoiler free! i will write content that is based on certain mangas and spoilers, especially jjk! i am completely caught up on the manga and often react to the spoilers so proceed with caution! pls block the #[𐐪— (fandom) spoilers. 𐑂] tag or the #[𐐪— spoilers. 𐑂] if you would like to avoid all general spoilers. so, for example, if you specifically don’t want to see jjk spoilers, block the #[𐐪— jjk spoilers. 𐑂] tag

☽  i have written for other fandoms before on a different blog, but i want to start fresh and explore my current obsessions, so i created a new page. (if my writing seems familiar lol...)

☽  i am a full time student, so i will not have a definite posting schedule. i balance both writing and art in my free time, so upload times might not be consistent. however, i will try my hardest to be as active as i can! 

☽  most of my works are written with a fem reader in mind. i will try to include gn reader works as well, but if primarily fem reader works are something that make you uncomfortable, please be wary before reading my works! i also do not write male reader, so keep that in mind.

☽  i am always open to requests or suggestions, so feel free to send them in! i may not take every request i get, but i’d still love to hear your ideas! 

☽ if you would like to be mutuals, just send an ask! i’m not picky about following back or anything! as long as you’re a nice person we can be mutuals! (preferably 18+ pls)

☽  lastly, pls feel free to reach out and interact! i’d love to get to know you and i do sometimes struggle with being the first person to interact, but i promise i am nice when you get to know me hehe! 

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! ♡ I hope all is well with you. I saw that match-up requests are open in your blog description, so I’d really love to ask for a romantic Mystic Messenger match-up, if you don’t mind and whenever you have the time!

⋆｡˚ Demographics.

Name: Seri

Age: 20 years old

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Education: Double major in finance and accounting

⋆｡˚ Physical Appearance.

Height: 173 cm (5’8”)

Hair Style: Currently have a long, Elizabeth perm

Hair Color: Chocolate Brown

Eye Color: Chestnut Brown

Clothing Style: Chic and feminine

⋆｡˚ Personality.

At first glance, I may come across as someone difficult to get to know, stoic, and distant, but I’m just a private person unless there is a common ground, or it is necessary to speak up (to the point where I opposed a fair few of teachers and the chief academic officer once in school and even got detention several times because of it). In spite of my reputation for being closed-off, I’m easygoing, open-minded, playful, and quite amiable when I want to, as I can make people feel either comfortable or intimidated in my presence. My attitude depends on what kind of person they are and how they treat me and the special people in my life, really. If they’re friendly and pleasant to be around, I do my best to reciprocate that positive energy by cracking jokes, reacting to whatever they’re talking about, even if it’s nonsense, and engaging in idle chatter. If it’s so-so, I remain silent unless they ask me something and simply observe them in the background. If they ruffle my feathers, I will get even using my own silent little ways and be their unexpected retribution. It takes quite a long time to wane my patience, so it’s my pleasure to bestow them a memorable prize for their unwavering hard work and dedication. ^^

I have no issues socializing and spending time with others because it’s eye-opening and thought-provoking to meet and listen to other people’s different viewpoints and values at times. Still, I’m particularly partial to the company within myself—well, except if it’s someone I’m very fond of. I like spending time with them more than when I’m by myself because I cherish every moment I get to have. I’m also family-oriented and protective of my friends (because most of them are too nice for their own good).

I’m upfront about my intentions, outspoken concerning my ideas, opinions, and stance, well-organized, strong-willed, self-assured, good at managing my time, and an independent thinker. I thrive on routines but don’t mind spontaneous activities. I have a keen memory and exceptional skill and intuition in knowing, reading others and the room, and feeling others’ moods, which has been a tremendous help in responding and reacting well in various situations. However, I scarcely ever speak up and open up about any of my negative thoughts and emotions and feel uncomfortable asking for help, even when I’m genuinely at my breaking point. I deal with my personal problems independently because after solving them, it’s a lot easier to let bygones be bygones.

I’m quite a busy bee and tend to bite off more than I can chew. When I was in high school, I was the student council president, the class secretary, and a member of the dance club that demanded a regular practice due to frequent public performances for school events while also competing in some pageants and academic competitions. It’s a terrible habit of mine, but I can’t stop myself because aside from having a weird obsession to collect medals, trophies, and certificates, I feel like I have to be productive at all times and make the most of my every day. I still have that tendency because I’m currently a part-time model despite being already buried in schoolwork, but I guess it’s better than before because I’m now rejecting any leadership position and competition and did not join any club ever since entering college (I still wish there were more hours in a day, though).

I like doing things that make my friends and family happy as long as it’s reasonable, doesn’t infringe on my principles and personal boundaries, and is within my capacity. I do my best to practice all five love languages with them. If they enjoy some activity or develop an interest in something, I try learning and spending time with them bonding about it (which ultimately leads me to the bottomless pit of Otome games). If they want a materialistic gift, I have no problem purchasing it for them, or during special occasions or depending on my mood, I give them something, like floral bouquets, handmade gifts, and usually, home-cooked foods and desserts. If they are preoccupied or swamped with some matters, I take the initiative to accomplish a task that will lessen the burden on their shoulders, or simply take care of them on the simple things, like serving them food, bringing them coffee, etc. I’m good at giving verbal support and validation and quite adept at seeing things from other individuals’ perspectives. Lastly, once I sense they are down in the dumps, I either give them hugs or offer advice if they want.

I’m passionate about the things I’m doing in my life. I never do and accomplish anything half-hearted and less than a hundred percent of what I know I’m capable of; it’s always and only either “not doing it” or “giving the best of my abilities.” Because of that, I have difficulty accepting failure, losing, and something has not worked out how I wanted it to.

⋆｡˚ Preferences.

Likes: Tea (especially the floral blends), coffee (especially lavender latte), gardening, floral scents, spring season, cooking and baking, traveling, drinking and collecting wines, watching musicals and operas, attending concert of my favorite bands, artists, and KPOP groups, live gigs, and music festivals, amusement park, eating street foods and in various small restaurants (they usually have the best foods), volunteering, mathematics, science, classical music, puzzle games and riddles, and mystery solving activities. I really love learning new things (I’m recently learning guqin!) and challenging my limits. Aside from that, I have two female pets—a Ragdoll named Soraya and a Samoyed named Snow.

Hobbies: Car racing, archery, sketching, photography, documenting my everyday life through videos, reading, playing Rubik’s cube and tabletop games, pilates, dancing, shopping, skiing, ice skating, and playing piano and violin.

Dislikes: Summer season, anything to do with horror and thrillers, afterparties, fireworks, swimming (especially in beach), singing, raw vegetables, the “only talk, no action” people, people that projects their insecurities onto me and others, groundless rumors and malicious gossips, and being talked about behind my back. I also don’t like being with people who hold me back.

That’s all I can think of right now. Thank you very much! ♡

I match you with...

Jumin!

Not to tease you or anything, but it's the first time in a while I've seen a detailed list of someone’s life and personality.

I don't have any rules on how people share things for a matchup, but I’ll be honest, someone as kind and meticulous as you has earned a place in Jumin’s heart. You know what you want out of life and don't want anybody to ridicule or mock you for the way you experience life. Some people might say that's high maintenance, but I would say that is loving yourself and knowing what you want.

Never minimize your wants. 

You would rather live a life while experienced than a life in fear. You prepare yourself for the challenges ahead and you go through with them, even when the tough gets going. You are passionate, and what does Jumin admire? He admires people who are willing to be who they truly are without fear. You inspire him to be honest with himself. You make him want to explore his specialized interest without looking over his shoulder to see if somebody's going to say something about it. 

Even if you lead very busy lives, you find the time to be there for each other. Time well spent is the time you spend together at the kitchen table, smiling at one another as you prepare the meal yourself. 

[sadfruittheatre-rp]

Rules + BYF

We love to have fun here, but nothing is more fun than respecting people's boundaries!

First and foremost, I am an adult. If this makes you uncomfortable as a minor, I recommend you don't follow. However, if you decide to follow anyway, there may be expression of some darker topics, especially surrounding mental health and mortality. There's a lot of trauma to be had. Again, if this makes you uncomfortable, please put your mental health first.

That being said, I will NOT be allowing NSFW interactions. These characters may be thousands of years old, but they are developmentally the equivalent of 15 year olds and should be treated as such. While certain characters might make some crass jokes, I don't want them to be sexualized.

OC and canon characters welcome! Crossovers and completely original characters also welcome! Duplicate canon characters are also acceptable and will be treated as individual timelines.

Shipping is not happening. Not because I'm against it, but because Bragi is painfully, obliviously aroace and you will get nowhere. You're welcome to attempt for shits and giggles tho (if your character is in his developmental age bracket, of course). However if you OOCly try to force shipping I am blocking you.

While Bragi's adventures tend to lean more slice of life-y, he is still a Dragon Ball character and is not immune to fighting (even if he really doesn't wanna). However, in the unlikely event that things do come to blows between our characters, I'd like to discuss it in the DMs first before we proceed forward, that way power scaling is sensible and fair and we reduce the chance of godmodding.

I will NOT fight you/your character on anon. Poke and prod all you like, but if you want to actually have a go at it, you will not be able to hit him by default, even if your character is written to be the strongest fighter in the multiverse.

I reserve the right to not RP with you at all if I do not want to. Do not repeatedly pester or rush me for interactions, whether it's follows, replies, or starters. I am an adult with a job and other projects I'm working on, so I am not available to RP 24/7 or on a consistent schedule. It's okay to message once in awhile to make sure your ask didn't get eaten or something, because my notifications can be hella spotty sometimes, but please don't go overboard with it or I'm giving you a one-way ticket to blocked city.

If I follow you, it's because I'm interested in your blog and your character(s)! However, I am not expecting a follow for follow situation. Please don't feel like you need to follow out of obligation! If you follow me back, I'm going to assume you're also interested. Also please bear with me if I follow you and it takes us 75 billion years to actually interact, I'm interested and friendly, but I'm incredibly shy and/or don't always immediately have ideas on how to interact IC ;w;

I do not follow personal blogs from this blog, and I do not (immediately) follow blogs with muses from fandoms I’m not familiar with. However, I am NOT mutuals only! We can still interact, even if I don’t follow you or I'm not familiar with your fandom (this DOES include personal blogs btw, you guys are really funny). If we build up a rapport, I may come around and follow you! Also if you’re a personal blog and I think you’re cool I might follow you from my main (it's @kirinda-ondo). :)

I will not RP with your OC if they don't have some kind of bio somewhere! It doesn't have to be a full unabridged biography, but I need something to work with. Even a short paragraph will do. If it's something you're actively in the middle of working on, I'm totally willing to talk to you OOC and work something out if you really wanna thread that badly.

Feel free to respond to any musings, dash commentary, or open starters! Musings are either commentary on my own threads or random ic thoughts, dashboard commentary is commentary on other people's threads or asks, and open starters are just meatier paragraph situations. All I ask is that you don't hijack any of my threads with other people. Liking them is fine.

Open starters and starter calls do not expire! If you see something that catches your interest, go nuts, even if it's been a hot minute! However, time-sensitive musings and ask memes do expire. I don't have a hard and fast rule/deadline about this. Just don't be sending me memes or responding to commentary posts that are like weeks old, my dumb ass WILL get confused.

We can have multiple threads going on at once if you're cool with that! Obviously I'm not going to overwhelm anyone but if you want to have concurrent things going on that's fine and cool :)

I know the tumblr RP meme reblogging etiquette is to reblog from the source, but sometimes I fuck up and accidentally reblog it from someone on my dash. Please do not send me to the shadow realm for this, I'm not trying to break anybody's rules! I am just ADHD scatterbrained. ;w;

On that note, I haven't RPed on tumblr since like 2017 and the culture and etiquette have changed a lot since then. If I commit a social faux pas or misunderstand some terminology, please let me know (politely!) because I am an out of touch old fart who's trying their best. ;w;

I like using icons, but you do not have to use them! In fact, if you don't use them, I probably won't either unless I feel like the vibe calls for it. I will also do my best to match your length, but I can't match your fancy formatting because I am not an HTML wizard.

IC =/= OOC! Bragi is a character who can be really blunt and petty and generally (unintentionally) tactless, but that doesn't mean that I am attacking your muse or you as a person! By that extension, if your character doesn't like mine, I'm not gonna be upset about it, and in fact welcome it, so long as you're not rude to me personally.

Likewise, if I see you being rude to me or other people on my dash, I'm blocking you. We are all out here pretending to be fictional characters on the Internet. Let's not take ourselves too seriously.

If I post something that you need trigger tagged, please politely let me know! I do my best to be conscientious, but I am not perfect!

Feel free to DM me if you have any questions or you wanna plot or just shitpost OOC for a bit. If we're cool you're also welcome to DM me for my discord (though do note that it's something I do not give out freely or super readily, if we haven't built up enough of a rapport, I may say no, or at least "not yet." But chances are if we've had a thread going for a bit we're probably cool, so don't feel too intimidated lol)

Currently, Bragi is the only muse available to be interacted with via starters and ask memes. His friends, Aneas and Tomor, may appear in threads as side characters (and will have dedicated info links!), but they are not available for individual threads or asks unless you are my friends Meri or Pea. This will likely change as I get more used to tumblr RP again, but for now I just want to start small and see how things go, so just pretend it's a single muse blog for right now.

Rules are subject to change at any time for any reason! If this happens, I will make some kind of announcement so nobody is confused!

HAVE FUN!!! I am literally just vibing and you should too :)

[hangmvnstrick]

Rules of the Game:

1. My portrayal of Amanda Young/The Pig will be portrayed based off my own headcanons/ideas and some elements from the movies. Do not interact with this blog is that's not your cup of tea .

2. Do NOT interact if you're a minor or a personal blog, please. The posts on this blog are meant for roleplay purposes and roleplay only. My personal blog is open for any one of age to interact with. If you kindly ask, I do not mind sharing my personal blog. Please respect my wishes, thank you very much. I do not feel comfortable interacting with anyone who isn't of age because I am older than 25. Please do not lie about your age. Lying about your age will result in a hard block. This blog will be interacting with mutuals only. Meaning I follow your blog, you follow mine. Please don't take it personally as there are some fandoms I'm not familiar enough with to interact your blog if I don't follow you back. Original characters are welcome and encouraged as long as have a bio up to work something out. But for now, the interactions will be limited to the horror verse only. If you have any questions about this, shoot me a message. I'm also selective with who I follow back. If I follow you back, it's because I'm interested to interact with you. I don't follow blogs just to follow.

3. This blog will touch on dark topics such as death, murder, suicide, self harm, abuse, among other dark matters. If any of these themes make you uncomfortable, this may not be the blog for you. Regardless, I'm still going to include warnings just in case. If there's any other things any of my writing partner would like me to tag, let me know. It's important that you're also comfortable.

4. Shipping. Shipping is not a main priority for Amanda. However that doesn’t mean that I’d be opposed to it but it would need a lot of development and discussion for it to happen. Due to the fact that Amanda doesn’t trust or open up to anyone other than John so easily. Which speaking of, I don’t ship John and Amanda. She even says it herself that she sees him like a father figure and a mentor. So no. I will not be shipping with any John Kramer writers. Other than that, if you’re interested in discussing shipping, don’t hesitate to shoot me a message. I’m pretty much open minded about dynamics between our muses.

* this blog will be single ship unless stated otherwise.

5. This is a zero drama tolerance blog so leave me out of the whole he said, she said stuff. Unless someone did something that's actually wrong, I don't want to hear it. Along with that, I won't be allowing any kind of hateful and/or problematic content. Absolutely NO RACISM, homophobia, pedophilia, or incest will be tolerated on this blog. If you condone such acts, you'll be blocked and reported. As a Hispanic person myself, this is a safe space for people of any background and identity.

6. My muse’s actions do not reflect my own. I cannot stress this enough that Amanda Young is a killer, after all, she is one of Jigsaw’s apprentices. But if you're uncomfortable at any point and you'd like to drop the thread, let me know. There won't be any hard feelings.

7. Do NOT take my edits, headcanons, writings, metas, please. My portrayals are my own based on my own interpretations/ headcanons. And I don't take too kindly to my creativity being stolen and l'll make it known so people can be aware.

8. Memes. I fully encourage my mutuals to send prompts/memes to break the ice. No matter how long ago I reblogged an rp meme list, please feel free to send 'em my way!

9. Activity. My activity here will fluctuate. After all, tumblr is not a priority but rather a hobby. That being said, I also have two other blogs @tokcshie & @devotedsheikah , where you can find me at. And on top of that, I have a big girl job which I love very much so sometimes I may not be able to get stuff done, other times I'm just lurking. But just know that I'll eventually get back to you. Just please, don't hound me for replies. It’s not an issue with you, it’s an issue with myself and how slow I can be sometimes.

* discord is also available upon request for mutuals only.

[twofacedtrickery]

Okay, this will be the last post on the subject of Professor's notes on the timeline leading up to my surrender. This is a list of various statements and implications made up to my surrender that could have been used to suss out how to gain more leverage.

I have thoughts on how these may have been acted upon, publicly and privately. However, as I am incredibly weak, I can't stomach putting those thoughts into words. I might be able to answer questions, but even that's iffy.

Anyway, here is a list of things I made reference to that could easily have been used against me, in no real order:

Multiple references to having conflicting feelings toward O5 Command, ranging from shame at having been there, to nostalgia and guilt, to childish bitterness, to fear and paranoia. Also of note, there was an instance where I referred to them as my "colleagues," rather than "former colleagues", and an instance where I implied I missed others but didn't know who.

Multiple instances of sleep issues: difficulty sleeping, refusal to sleep (5 days at one point), desire for adrenaline to avoid sleep, frequently nodding off and sleeping too much, a dislike of dreams, and waking nightmares.

References to anxiety and paranoia issues and an admission of not having the tools to manage it.

Repeated insistence that I prefer being alone, do not want new friends, do not mind being functionally alone for months at a time, would accept complete isolation if it meant safety, and an active dislike of communicating with new parties and a dislike of interpersonal closeness. I also indicated feeling like a bad friend to have.

A contradicting indication of a desire to be loved and have companionship. Notably, many indications that I do not easily get over attachments and would do a lot for "anyone I've loved," whether in my skill set or not.

Multiple indications of the level of detriment brought on by miscommunications combined with an admission that I have the tendency to latch onto those who are able to communicate with me.

Multiple mentions that my main desire is to change the world for the better. Several indications that I am relatively pacifistic, avoid physical violence, consider benefit to others before all else, and a dislike of guns, in particular. An implication of being uncomfortable with the idea of a hypothetical rescue involving people I don't know.

Several implications and admissions of internal cognitive dissonance, sometimes grasping at straws that do not hold up to avoid things or repeating arguments to convince myself not to consider other possibilities.

Multiple references to insecurities in my relationship, mainly feeling unworthy, feeling any struggles were my own doing, a reticence to criticize him over something minor, some amount of feeling indebted to him, and a fear of disappointing him alongside a desire to make him proud. Some hyperbolic sentiments about missing him immediately were made, though how literally those were taken by the Foundation, I do not know.

Noted frustrations with my internal clock being somewhat unreliable and being unable to recall things of note.

I mentioned some discomfort with aspects of my physical form as well as a dislike of being looked at or being perceived at all.

Many instances of mentioning extreme discomfort with boredom combined with a fixation on being productive. Notable, I expressed disinterest in task delegation. I also indicated I did not want hobbies or to try activities I wasn't already good at. I also mentioned a like of cleaning tasks, particularly dishes, and a dislike of doing laundry. A noted discomfort with being unmotivated, as well.

Mentioning both that I dislike being yelled at but consider myself good at being yelled at. I also implied that I may still care about the rules to some degree, even if it is less than previously.

A desire to be more than a "thing" and an "asset", but being unable to fully own the idea of being a person.

Mentions that I forget to eat sometimes and this can be incredibly detrimental to me, while also indicating a pointed distrust of anyone knowing my food preferences.

Indication that being itchy is particularly infuriating for me.

Multiple instances of various sound-related issues. Silence being anxiety-inducing, indistinct noise being detrimentally distracting, some music being unpleasant at times, mentions of clock noises being uncomfortable.

Multiple instances of describing physical ailments and refusing to seek help, from hangovers I wouldn't medicate, to headaches, to nausea, to any unexpected reaction to a new form of nicotine, to broken bones both past and recent I refused resources on, to being reticent to fix the cognitohazard damage once I knew about it. Notably, I did cede to see a doctor about the ankles, but was reticent. I reacted very poorly to Professor's sacrifice that day. Instances of being reticent to accept, if not outright rejecting expressions of care and concern, as well. I also admitted it had been at least a decade since I last engaged a therapist, wasting effort and resources to avoid appointments.

Multiple complaints about poor temperature regulation, typically in the environment, but sometimes internally. Both too cold and too warm were complaints.

Multiple references to my smoking habit, its impact on my body, and a mention of withdrawal, though no clear time frame is given on when that happened relative to my last indulgence.

A handful of instances where, more so due to misunderstanding than anything, I came off as fairly nonchalant about things. I'm mainly thinking about when I idly wondered where the old hostess at the lounge I used to frequent had gone to, and I got several people asking if she dies. I think that they thought I meant a contact, though, as I'd mentioned contacts earlier in the day.

Admissions that I struggle to lie convincingly and have a distaste for acting as a concept, while implying I do have some ability in this area, admitting I had allied myself before abdicating fully.

Several remarks about how seemingly minor things can cause intense emotional responses: too much information at once causing desperation for comfort, criticism of my religion causing too much frustration to speak properly.

A very notable instance of in vino veritas, and being more impulsive and people-pleasing when drunk. Notably, I got badgered about my partner's distasteful actions, and answered vaguely as I did not know him when he was acting Overseer, when the actions I was referencing took place.

An attempt at explaining the cognitohazards' intended effect on me that the Professor described as "poor," and I'm inclined to agree, it probably was.

A remark about the significance of haircuts and how I was avoiding one I felt I should have due to a dislike of having to let my hair grow out through the awkward lengths.

Multiple instances that indicate many of my Overseer traits still hold.

I really did just hand them everything they needed.