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lemonadecandy · 1 year ago

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Meeting Zhongli [Part 12]

Game: Genshin Impact

About: Zhongli x fem!reader

Note : The premise is that 'you' get transported into the game and journey through Teyvat along with the traveler. This is a reinterpretation of the Liyue Archon Quests. Hope you enjoy~

Warning: Mentions of violence, slight profanity.

The sky had begun to darken as the waves crashing against the harbor slowly increased in intensity. Most of the area around me had already been evacuated due to the quick reflexes of the Qixing. While the stage was being prepared for the main act of the play, Osial, the overlord of the Vortex was rising from the tumultuous sea. And then, right on cue, the Jade Chamber flew over the dock and approached the ancient god. This was the final test. This was what everything had been leading up to. In the countless millenniums of my existence, I had faced and fought through countless dire events, but none had me as anxious as I was now. Perhaps because this time, it isn’t me who faces the calamity. Will Liyue be able to pull through…?

But strangely, I also felt composed as her words once more appeared in my mind. ‘Liyue will be able to handle it, maybe even prosper from it.’ I hadn’t entirely bought her excuses about otherworldly powers of foresight, but I couldn’t deny her credence when she spoke. It felt as if she believed in this city more than even I did. And there had been something strangely enchanting yet comforting about her words. I wanted to trust her, as though her words were the absolute truth. Perhaps it was precisely for this reason that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t view her with cynicism, I was ready to forgive her for the first plausible excuse she presented.

That said, the facts she yielded, had all been completely accurate. I need to understand her more before I can truly put my mind to ease. But that is going to be near impossible to achieve. By her outburst outside Third-round Knockout, I doubt she ever wants to see my face again. For the little while we did spend together after that incident, she has built a stone wall between us that even I am not confident I can break. I have already terrified her enough, with our contract in place, the only right thing to do was to respect her wishes.

Heavy doubt had been gnawing at my mind for these past few days. Another new experience… I have been decisive all my life, so why was it that whenever the thought of Y/n came up, did I feel utterly lost and hesitant? What I did, was how I always dealt with my enemies. Maybe that was it… deep down I didn’t even acknowledge her as my enemy. I sighed in frustration at my thoughts. What’s even the point of thinking about this…

That said, Y/n is a clever one. Would another approach have even worked on her? It clearly seemed like she had been faced with a similar situation a few times prior. Is that why she was able to maintain her cool so well while I was confronting her? If so, I wonder how those other encounters had gone.

As a measure to not stand out to the Millelith I stepped back under some shelter. Osial had now started his onslaught of attacks, but the Qixing along with the Adepti had already posed their counters. By what I could manage to make out from the hazy sky, it seemed like they had decided to use a copy of the Guizhong Ballista. A clever strategy, but not one that can guarantee their victory. I started becoming increasingly anxious as the battle continued, it was a feeling that I hadn’t been well acquainted with. Every part of me wished that I could somehow contribute, but I tried to maintain my calm.

After having defeated the Harbinger, the traveler must have already hurried to the Jade Chamber. I wonder if Y/n went along as well?

And as if to answer my query, the woman I had been thinking about made her appearance. She seemed to be coming from the direction of the Golden House. On closer observation, it seemed like her right leg had been injured causing her to limp as she walked. There were a few other cuts and bruises on her body, but none as severe as the one on her leg. I looked around but her companions were nowhere to be found. Did they insist she stay back because of her wounds? It was plausible, the trio seemed to dote on each other a lot. I considered offering my assistance but quickly decided against it. She seemed to possess healing capabilities and I was probably the last person she wanted to see.

Y/n’s attention had been captivated by the skirmish in the skies but soon noticed my presence. She instantly looked away and proceeded to walk past me, acknowledging her ignorance I looked away as well. But strangely, before she completely overtook me, she had paused. Fazed by her actions, I glanced at her with caution. Y/n was staring at my hands as she sighed with what seemed like pity, “It will be fine.”

Following her line of sight, I looked down at my hands as well, they were shaking. Not just my hand, my entire body was trembling. I also came to the realization that I had been holding my breath, causing me to lightly pant. I raised my right hand to pop a few buttons on my collar and slightly undo my tie to help calm myself with a deep breath. I hadn’t even noticed the state of my body!

Despite my attempts, I was unable to entirely regain my composure. I looked back at Y/n who was once again engrossed by the sky. Comfort identical to the one I felt when I’d had drinks with her reached out to me from her unmoving figure. Suddenly she looked back and tossed something toward me. I reflexively raised my hand and managed to catch the item.

“It worked.”, she huffed with annoyance. It's the feather…! I had imbued it with some of my own power, providing protection to anyone who carried it on their person. Y/n had rather begrudgingly accepted it after some insistence. “Thanks”, she scoffed in an almost inaudible whisper.

But I hardly felt pleasant about her gratitude. And yet… her leg has been injured.

Contrary to my expectations, instead of swiftly making her exit after returning the artifact, Y/n opted to stay. We only stared at the sky with agitation. The Qixing’s plan had been interrupted by the appearance of the Fatui skirmishers. The traveler seemed to be running around, trying to fend them off. I nervously gasped for air as the ballista slowly started losing its form. Despite the realization, the Adepti pushed forward, trying to hold the line.

Suddenly, Y/n spoke up, “There are tall buildings… super tall ones. More than even 160 stories… but none that float in the sky. Though we do have vehicles that fly in the sky, pretty fast as well. Elemental powers and visions don’t exist there, nor do gods… But we can still be powerful…. Still, perhaps not as close to you archons… But we do have the internet!”, she rambled. I didn’t quite understand her statements, but it seemed like she was talking about her world…? She was even fondly chuckling at her own words. “You guys are still a long way from that…”

Tall buildings… and what is ‘the internet’? I wondered as I remarked, “It sounds like a wonderful place.” Flying vehicles… wasn’t there some novel series that featured those?

“I don’t know… there are ugly parts… a lot of them. But still… it’s my home …”, Y/n’s tone was solemn. I could make out great sorrow in her eyes as she uttered the last few words. The desolation on her face was similar to the one when she spoke about her family. I too know the loss of losing the ones beloved to you. I wonder if there’s a way for her to go back home…?

I was once more tempted to try and comfort the foreigner that stood beside me. It was only adequate for the amount she had unknowingly provided me. I raised my hand to pat her on her head but quickly pulled back as I recalled her words. ‘We are not friends.’ At that moment I felt a strange surge of disappointment in myself.

Unfortunately, Y/n had caught my movements and glared at me through narrowed eyes, “Don’t be mistaken…. You’re the only one who knows…” She sighed in frustration. “…that’s why.”

I wasn’t sure, had she brought up the topic of her home to distract me or comfort herself…? Either way, it seemed like she really wanted to talk about it. And I felt the urgent need to let her know that her confidence in me wasn’t something unpleasant. “It isn’t pity, nor is it charity. You are one of the strongest mortals I have witnessed. If I were ever to entirely lose Liyue, ‘my’ home, I would lose my mind. Despite knowing the limits of your physical powers, you still persevere. Your desire to go home keeps you fighting, pushing forward. I can’t help but respect such show of fierce resolve.”, I recalled the foreigner’s bravery when I confronted her, it had been quite inspiring. “If you were from Teyvat, your ambition would have gained you a vision by now.”, I stated in hindsight.

“Is that why you spared me?”, I glanced at Y/n once more and she seemed a little shocked by my words, but it soon turned into skepticism. “I am flattered… but you overestimate me.”

“Oh? If you were that ‘weak-minded’, you wouldn’t be out here chatting with the one who tried to kill you.”, I remarked, a little taken aback by the lack of self-confidence in her own courage.

“Misery loves company, no?” I had not a clue of the troubles Y/n had faced before arriving in Liyue. But it seemed to have greatly broken spirit. Perhaps… even my own actions had played a great part in it. And this fact was truly disheartening to me.

“Y/n—“, I began, but was interrupted by her tapping my shoulder and directing me towards the battle ensuing in the skies. It seemed like Liyue was on the losing side. The Guizhong Ballista had been completely decimated and many of the soldiers had been gravely injured. Caught off guard by the outcome, I tried to take a step forward to perhaps take action before matters got much worse. But Y/n tugged at my elbow, signaling me to stay back. That’s right, this is a ‘test’. And all hope has not been lost yet.

What followed thoroughly impressed me and put my mind at ease at the same time. Unexpectedly, Ningguang seemed to have taken the route of great sacrifice. The jade chamber crashed down onto the ancient god with a giant explosion, pinning him to the surface of the ocean’s floor forever. I felt myself smile with exasperation as the final realizations and implications dawned upon me. Liyue… will be fine. An overwhelming sense of melancholy rushed over me as I subsequently rejoiced in the success of my plans.

“See? I told you, didn’t I?”, Y/n remarked from beside me.

I glanced at her and she too held an appreciative grin on her face. “Yes.”, I affirmed.

We observed the group as they safely descended back onto the ground with the help of the Adepti. “Off to La Signora, I suppose?”, Y/n asked taking a step back to probably go and check on her friends.

“Ah! You’re… right”, I was once more startled by the precision of the foreigner’s abilities. Maybe I should stop being so skeptical and just accept her explanations. It’s almost frightening how accurate she is.

I sensed a strange heaviness in my heart as I watched Y/n turn around to take her leave. It felt as if a myriad of emotions were tugging at me. But the one which stood out the most right now… was guilt . I felt a strange premonition, that I wasn’t going to get this chance again, a chance to apologize… a chance to meet her again. Right now, the only reason we were interacting was because of the traveler’s quest to meet the geo archon. But what after that? Judging by the state of things at present, she would instantly turn away even if we happen upon each other in a chance encounter. And I didn’t quite understand why, but immense despondency settled within me as I came to this revelation.

“I… I apologize… I sincerely apologize for what happened that day.”, I impulsively blurted out the words that had constantly been haunting my mind. “I could have taken a more peaceful approach.”

I knew that this was just the bare minimum, not even close enough to get back on good terms with her, but it was what I needed to do. It’s clear as day that she has had similar encounters before… I know it for a fact, and I also know that they didn’t go any better, it was so apparent from the way she behaved around me.

Besides, everything was pointing to her innocence. The more I look into it, the clearer it is. I owe her an apology. She was just an unfortunate soul who had been given the burden of knowledge, a knowledge that was better not possessed. And I hadn’t even paused to understand her. Even after all these years… I still can’t reach even a semblance of Guizhong’s gentleness. She must be disappointed in me. I am disappointed in myself.

Y/n looked back, but the expression of solace from just a few moments ago had once again been replaced by cautious resentment. Unsurprisingly, I was only met with a scoff at my attempt at asking for forgiveness. “Well, in a sense you did do the right thing, if you hadn’t threatened me with death, I would never have come clean.”, she sighed as she replied. “Zhongli, you are a mortal now, try being a bit more considerate from now on. As for your apology… I will consider it.”

That’s right… It’s the beginning of a new life, I must let go of my ways as an archon. But at that moment, instead of her advice, what captivated my attention was the slight smile on her face as she said those words. It was a rather gloomy one. But even in the desolation of her expressions, I could make out an inkling of warmth, of kindliness… of hope . Hope that it was not entirely over, that there was still some light at the end of this tunnel. And right then, I felt my heart skip a beat. A strange sensation built in my chest as a smile crept onto my face. Wait, what—?!

“Alright, that’s it I suppose?”, Y/n cut in and interrupted my thoughts, she was once more readying to leave.

“Just one last thing!”, I hurriedly tried to hold her back. Opening the pocket dimension, I rummaged through to retrieve the feather Y/n had returned. Using the power of my gnosis for perhaps the final time, I successfully attempted to enhance the powers of the artifact before handing it back to her. “Keep it. Your journey will only get harder from here on out. I have imbued it with some more of my power, as long as you use it well, you shall be able to evade more injuries.”

This time Y/n accepted the item without any counter. She explained as she examined the feather, which now had a glowing sheen to it, “As much as I want to reject, adeptal magic is a little too good for me to consider passing on.” She smiled with what seemed like sincere gratitude, “Thank you.”

“I am only paying back what I owe.”, I smiled back.

#lemonadecandy #genshin impact #genshin x reader #meeting zhongli #genshin headcanons #reader insert #zhongli #x reader #genshin zhongli #genshin angst #zhongli x reader #zhongli angst #female reader #long reads

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jewishbarbies · 1 year ago

Note

Hi! I’m sorry to bother you, but I found your posts by accident and I just have a few thoughts as a fellow Jew (I’m mixed but my matrilineal Jewishness is Jewish Arab/Arab Jewish). This is aimed at the gentiles in your asks, but white USAmericans need to realize that they’ll always be inherently more privileged than Jewish people. Point blank. There’s no real discussion to have in regards to that. And there’s a LOT of commentary and jokes being made from USAmericans (mostly white) that is framing themselves as the victims or centers of this ethnic cleansing and apartheid. They are WHITE. I’m not a fan of them appropriating a lot of the humor or commentaries the actual oppressed and ethnically cleansed peoples are making, because when white gentiles do it it is ABSOLUTELY punching down and antisemitic. Westerners in general need to realize they have systemic power behind their words and actions that inherently disadvantage Jews. I’ve been very vocal about people derailing pro-Palestinian posts, and I’m going to be JUST as vocal about people derailing Jewish people venting about people using Israel as an excuse to voice their already preexisting antisemitic views. My Jewish identity is both Arab and Jewish. They don’t care about Arabs either. The same mayo gentiles beating their chest falsely accusing Jewish people venting, like yourself, of being a Zionist or genocide apologist are the same ones who before this past month was openly anti-Arab around me. So it’s like 🤷🏻‍♂️

White gentiles are not the oppressed in this dynamic, they are the oppressors and they need to start remembering that.

Jewish people halfway across the world shouldn’t be having to constantly condemn Israel in order to be allowed to vent about western antisemitism. Plus, goyim don’t even hide their antisemitism when even I, an anti-Zionist Jew, have been accused of being a Zionist when I’ve called out random white people using antisemitic tropes or imageries. If you want my honest blunt take, white gentiles are frothing at the mouth hoping that Jews, Arab, and Muslims just wipe each other out while they sit back and watch from their ivory towers in the US eating popcorn and scrolling through tiktok. I’ve been very critical of the white supremacy when it’s derailing Palestinian posts (even when done by my fellow Jewish people), and I’m also very critical of the white supremacy when it’s derailing your (or any) posts about antisemitism. I’m not trying to explicitly state the anon is a white supremacist (though I have some concerns), but … I was very annoyed by their implications you’re a closeted Zionist, just because you’re Jewish and venting about the Nazi shit that’s been on the Nazi app, formerly known as Twitter. You’re not derailing posts about the genocide or ethnic cleansing. You’re not even “both siding” genocide, either. You’re just a random Jewish person venting about the western world getting off to the idea of a bunch of Jews dying. A lot of people on here and Twitter aren’t even saying Israelis anymore they’re bluntly saying Jews. And as another Jewish person yourself, I know you’ve seen that vernacular shift first hand, especially judging from your vents.

I’ve had white people on this hellsite defend calling Jewish people they don’t like reptile people because “well Israel is calling Arabs animals” and I had to go “uh excuse you you are WHITE and I’m being dehumanized by both sides so thanks for that.”

It’s inherently antisemitic to police Jewish people being afraid of the rising antisemitism in the west and it’s also disingenuous to erase white gentiles’ and white countries’ involvement in this issue. It doesn’t miss me people are underplaying what white goyim have done and are still doing to contribute to the apartheid and genocide. All of this you’re vent vagueing about is the same exact stuff anti-Zionist Jews have also been complaining about for literal decades.

I’m sorry I ranted for too long, but I wanted to show solidarity with you. I’m sure there’s a lot you and I don’t see eye to eye on (2 Jews, 3 opinions), but at the end of the day I have your back because I know exactly what you’re talking about. No one is going to be antisemitic to you and get away with it 😤😤😤

I am so sorry people are wearing their iron crosses in your asks and Twitter feeds. And I’m sorry for wasting your time with all of this, I just felt you needed another Jew in your corner

thank you so much for taking the time to send this, I really do appreciate it. 🧡

I agree with everything you said here. it’s tiring seeing goyim think they can be apart of jewish conversations and are owed a seat at that table just because they believe all jews are white and therefore all white people are apart of the same group. I don’t expect them to truly understand everything bc how could they while not being jewish themselves, but the basic respect they give to other minorities is all I’m asking and I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

#Asks #softpastelqueer #antisemitism #long post

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shadowbends · 2 years ago

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I posted 5,560 times in 2022

That's 2,468 more posts than 2021!

21 posts created (0%)

5,539 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@somescribblybits

@dontron-9000

@number5theboy

@camlations

@onaishi

I tagged 5,559 of my posts in 2022

#rottmnt - 1,905 posts

#leonardo - 1,067 posts

#donatello - 990 posts

#umbrella academy - 894 posts

#michelangelo - 851 posts

#i laughed - 818 posts

#raphael - 804 posts

#asdfghjkl - 571 posts

#five - 431 posts

#klaus - 282 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#i’d bet $10 rise!april taught the boys how to do doughnuts in an empty parking lot

My Top Posts in 2022:

I looked at my notifs, and one of my favorite ROTTMNT fanfic writers visited my blog??? The stars in my eyes you would not believe, screams—

11 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

I don’t know if it’s turtles having me feeling nostalgic, but I’ve had such an itch to get involved in fandom lately. I’m not much of an artist, and I don’t feel quite brave enough to try my hand at fic again. Gosh, it has be over twelve years since the last time I wrote, and I’m just too rusty.

The ROTTMNT fandom is super cute, though. I’m deeply enjoying all the fic and art and other creative fan content that crosses my path, and the fans seem very friendly.

It makes me want to contribute too, even if it’s just in a small way. In line with that, I’m thinking of putting together a fic rec list? Just not sure how I want to go about doing it yet, I’m tossing around several ideas ranging from a simple list to... something a bit more ambitious. We’ll see how it goes.

Idk, though. It’s so funny to me that once again turtles have me feeling like this. I’ve dabbled here and there in other fandoms, but the only one I was actually ever a part of was the 2k3 TMNT series from back in the day. So it’s just kind of serendipitous that ROTTMNT would be the one to make me feel this way again.

20 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS)

Hello again, cultured turtle fans! Do you enjoy good fanfic? Hopefully so, because I’m back with more recs! Whether you’re new to the fandom and diving into the ROTTMNT fic scene for the first time, or a veteran looking for content you might have missed, my hope for this project is to point you to something you’ll enjoy!

This rec list is the second of three and focuses on short stories in the fandom, with a length between 5,000 and 15,000 words each. Much like a stuffed crust pizza, they’re the perfect option when you’re feeling for something indulgent, but don’t want to go all out. If you want to browse a little more though, feel free to check out the other lists below!

NEW YORK STYLE, BABY!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (UNDER 5,000 WORDS)

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS) — You’re here!

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS)

If you enjoy any of these fics, make sure to reblog and spread the love! Don’t forget to check out the other works by these authors; many of them have written multiple wonderful stories not featured here that are just as good. Additionally, consider leaving the authors a comment! I’m not always the best at that myself, but fic writers work hard and deserve all the love in the world.

Now, let’s get to the recs. Bon appétit!

➤ ➤ ➤ PRE-SERIES

The Corner Store by KicsterAsh

12,790 words, 5/5 chapters

Character Focus: Raphael & his brothers, w/ Splinter coming in later

Genre: Fluff, Adventure

“I know what I’m spending my three dollars on,” Raph said. He and Donnie dragged Leo to the machine, which was near the front desk of the store, and sat him down against the wall. “Make sure he doesn’t fall asleep,” Raph said to his other siblings, before rushing to the front desk.

The man, who had been watching them since they dragged Leo into view, looked at the turtle as he ran over. Raph tried ignoring that he noticed this and only looked back once he had reached the counter, where his chin just reached over the top.

“Hello, Mister,” Raph said as politely as he could in his urgency. “How much is a small cup of hot chocolate?”

The man pushed up his glasses and looked at the machine. “It’s two dollars and seventy-five cents after tax,” he said.

“I dunno what tax is, but here.” Raph slapped three dollars down on the counter and then pointed at the machine. “Can you show me how to pour one, please? I’ve never done it before.”

I have such a soft spot for this fic; it was one of the first I ever read for the fandom, and it has the perfect blend of adorable turtle tot hijinks with just enough risk involved to make you concerned and keep the story gripping. To summarize the premise: Splinter lets the boys play topside in the snow while he scavenges for food and supplies, but is gone longer than anticipated. As the hours pass and the temperature drops, a young Raphael decides to break the rules and seek out human shelter to keep his brothers from freezing. All of the turtles’ budding personalities shine through in this story, but good older brother Raph is especially a treat here.

Lost and Found (Family) by ashtreelane

7,007 words, 2/2 chapters

Character Focus: April & Michelangelo, April & The Family

Genre: Fluff, Adventure

"Wow!" April says, her eyes wide with fascination. "Are you some sort of…turtle alien?"

"Yeah! Well- not the alien part, but I am a turtle!“

"So how can you talk?" April asks, leaning in to peek into Mikey's head hole. Her voice echoes slightly in the shell.

"Cause I'm not allllll turtle, duh!" Mikey says, smiling. "Our dad doesn't really like to talk about it, but he says that we’re the product of parental love and ‘unholy sorcery’!

"Oh wow! That’s way more interesting than how I got born!"

After being left behind on a field trip and struggling to find a way home, a young April finds someone just as lost as herself. A charming little story that tells how April met the turtles for the first time.

responsibility by TheWhitesOfYourEyes

See the full post

101 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

New York Style, Baby!! ROTTMNT Fanfic Recs (under 5,000 words)

Greetings, dudes and dudettes, and anyone in between! Do you enjoy good fanfic? Well, then you’ve come to the right place! As something of a collector of fics, I welcome you to peruse the many links below. Whether you’re new to the fandom and diving into the ROTTMNT fic scene for the first time, or a veteran looking for content you might have missed, my hope for this project is to point you to something you’ll enjoy!

This rec list is the first of three and focuses on ficlets in the fandom, with every one clocking in under 5,000 words. As such, all of them are also complete. Think of these as the New York Style pizza of fanfics: thin, but cheesy goodness that’s pre-sliced and ready to go when you have a killer craving, but no time to sit down. If you want to browse a little more though, feel free to check out the other lists below!

NEW YORK STYLE, BABY!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (UNDER 5,000 WORDS) — You’re here!

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS)

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS)

With that said, sit back, relax, and let’s grab a slice!

➤ ➤ ➤ PRE-SERIES

An Act of Yokai Kindness by BiographyDivider

2,834 words, 1/1 chapter

Character Focus: Splinter & The Boys

Genre: Fluff, Angst

“Okay, boys,” Lou Jistu said, kneeling down to look his gaggle of sons in the face. “What are our Topside Rules?”

“Hats on all the time,” Blue said, pulling his beanie down a little further.

“Or hoods,” Purple chimed in, scowling at his brother for forgetting that he liked a big hood, not a tight hat. Lou nodded.

“And jackets buttoned up too, right? To your chinny-chin-chins?”

A darling little fic about Splinter taking the boys on a trip to the local library—what might be their last trip, as it’s become increasingly difficult to pass them off as human. Features both Turtle Tot goodness and some absolutely on-point Splinter characterization, and is just all around wholesome.

Coming of Age, Coming to Terms by Drifting_Andromeda

4,018 words, 1/1 chapter

Character Focus: Leonardo & Splinter, Ensemble

Genre: Family Bonding, Fluff

“Huh.” Was all he said, which made Splinter chuckle.

“That’s not the reaction I was expecting.” The rat admitted.

“Really? What were you expecting?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe some more denial? I was definitely in denial when I first realized I was attracted to men.”

Leonardo realizes something about himself on his 12th birthday, but struggles putting those feelings to words. Thankfully, his dad is there to both offer support and help him sort it out.

Cradled Close by Poppyseed20

2,903 words, 2/2 chapters

Character Focus: Splinter & Leonardo, Ensemble

See the full post

121 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS)

It’s me again, folks. Do you enjoy good fanfic? We’re reaching the end of the line, but I’m here to hook you up! Whether you’re new to the fandom and diving into the ROTTMNT fic scene for the first time, or a veteran looking for content you might have missed, my hope for this project is to point you to something you’ll enjoy!

This rec list is the last of three and focuses on longfic in the fandom, with a word count reaching anywhere over 15,000 words. You’ll find a variety of fic here, from novellas to full-blown novels—some complete, but many still ongoing! Though it may be heresy on the streets of New York, this is the list you want when you’re craving something really thick to sink your teeth into: a sit-down experience exploding with flavor. Don’t have time for that, actually? Then consider checking out my previous rec lists as well!

NEW YORK STYLE, BABY!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (UNDER 5,000 WORDS)

STUFFED CRUST!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (BETWEEN 5,000 AND 15,000 WORDS)

DEEP DISH!! ROTTMNT FANFIC RECS (OVER 15,000 WORDS) — You’re here!

With all of that said, it’s time for the recs. Let’s dig in!

Quick note: On previous lists, I separated the recs by the general time period they took place in. I’m not going to that here, largely because—uh. Well. Nearly all of them are post-movie! This fandom’s sure been active in the last couple of months, huh? Given that, I’ll be sorting them by a broader method, but yes. If you’ve not seen the movie, this is your warning that spoilers abound in the recs below.

➤ ➤ ➤ CANON COMPLIANT

The Aftermath by Starrcrossrose

57,262 words, 9/? chapters (last updated 11/03/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone (Leo-centric)

Genre: Angst, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort

It would’ve been easier to say what he was feeling, but he honestly didn’t know how. He wasn’t sure why, either. He knew his brothers would understand and comfort him and be there if he wanted them to be. Hell, Donnie’s surprise sleepover and everyone showing up for it in the living room had been proof of that.

Yet he still couldn’t do it. He’d tried to talk to Donnie and the pain on his brother’s face had been enough to make him never want to speak about things ever again. He didn’t want them to hurt the way he did; he wanted them to be okay and normal and happy.

You know they aren’t happy. Why do you keep pretending to be fine when the others aren’t either?

Leo squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into his knees as he pulled himself into an even tighter ball. He wanted to go into his shell as much as possible, but at the same time, a searing energy was making his legs feel like he could run or swim for miles. He could just go and go and go until he collapsed.

Maybe… maybe that'll help.

Set a few months after the movie, Leo struggles with the long recovery time needed for his injuries to heal, both physical and mental. Unable to talk about it, he turns to unhealthy coping methods instead. The rest of the family is doing no better from the fallout of the invasion, however, with each of their own stresses mounting the longer things go unaddressed. That is until Chapter 8, when things come to a head...

There are a lot of post-movie recovery fics out there, each one unique. The Aftermath’s hallmark has to be in its slowburn foreshadowing, and excellent character writing. Throughout many chapters, we get a glimpse into the heads of just about every beloved character the series has to offer, including April and Casey Jr. Little clues to what’s going to go wrong are set up early on, but just like the characters, I was blind to how serious of a turn things were about to take until the problem finally reared its head. This fic does a good job of showing how important it is to talk to one another, even if it’s hard.

Aftershocks by Katiemonz, McBethins, octolingkiera, theashemarie, and this_kills_the_man

153,543 words, 12/15 chapters (last updated 11/06/2022)

Character Focus: Everyone

Genre: Family Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

“Good game,” Leo said to Donnie, smiling at Mikey in the same sly way as before.

“Thank you, Leonardo, but as I’ve said Uno is—”

“But you still lost,” Leo continued. He swept the cards up and began to straighten them for another shuffle.

“Second place is hardly—”

“Honorary title,” Leo cut in again. “Mikey won, so we owe him.”

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268 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

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#long post #tumblr #the way my rottmnt brainrot finally surpassed my tua brainrot #though to be fair #I've yet to post any s3 content #so as to not spoil my friends who've not seen it #pi says things

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gazrgaley · 1 year ago

Text

C.R.O.W (Chapter 2)

On the surface, C.R.O.W.'s. headquarters were unremarkable. A little storefront with no name and nothing on the outside to indicate what they offered or what services they supplied. Devon assumed that was the plan. Make it as vague as possible to avoid piquing the curiosity of the masses.

Inside, it appeared as though the classic cubicle office environment had been compacted into a 20 by 20 foot room. Two rows of computers were located on the left end. Three face the wall, and two line the half-wall that separates that section of the room from the remainder of the space.

Here was where he spent most of his time. Victoria and Ashley B were the muscles so he didn't see them often. Or, when he did, they'd spend most of their time raving over the cute people and the relationship status of the current program they were watching.

Devon would have informed anybody who would listen that he liked it when they were not present. Or that was what he told himself he would say if anyone bothered to ask him. "Yes, I prefer working on my own as debating the love life of fictional characters is stupid and a waste of time." Even though that was the furthest thing from the truth.

However, in reality, he was jealous. Why wouldn't they talk to him about the cute people? And who should and should not be in a relationship. He had views and, at times, strong sentiments concerning these issues.

He would even pay attention to which shows were being critiqued the most. He'd then binge watch them in the hopes of contributing to the discourse. If they had bothered to inquire, which they never did.

As he tried to speak out and share his thoughts on the newest programme, they quickly shut him off. The two Ashleys and Victoria glanced at him as if he were speaking in another language. When Victoria raised her voice. "I believe you stated, and I quote. That devoting so much energy and effort to television was a waste of time?"

He went red and returned to the security of the computer screen. "It just, I was. I was just over at a friend's house and they had it on." He didn't try talking to them again that day. He had no friends, not anymore.

He didn't want to think about it. Thinking about why he had no friends led to thinking about why they all left in the first place, which led to thinking about other things, and he just couldn't do it effectively while trying to be normal in front of everyone he worked with.

This was before Ashley A passed away. They didn't really care for him then, and it has gotten even worse since. Everyone blamed him for this. They accused him for the disappearance of all the intelligence files he obtained on the Kaw-Sekhmu on top of that.

And they no longer tried to disguise their dissatisfaction with him. He considered simply not turning up. Yet he needed the cash. And he wanted to feel like he was a part of something bigger then himself. Even if only through a screen.

A noise from across the room caught everyone's ear. To the left of the office kitchen was Rex's full cubicle. Once again, there came a sound from within the cubical.

Rex cursed himself before rising to face the rest of the room. "They are coming today. I forgot. Damn it, what time is it?Why didn't anyone remind me." He talked as if addressing the entire room, yet his focus was on Devon.

Devon shrunk in his chair. That, he had assumed, was the reason for their presence, and the reason they were in the main lobby rather than the basement. But obviously he was incorrect.

Today, they were hoping to hear from someone who expressed interest in assisting with the zompires. He didn't know much about the person he was speaking with, but he could tell that they were kind, intelligent, and quick on their feet.

He couldn't have forgotten they were on their way. The only topic they discussed was business. But Devon felt that he could connect with someone in those little moments of conversation. They didn't appear to take anything seriously and were constantly cheerful. They were going to infuriate Rex.

Victoria and Ashley B exchanged looks before turning to face Devon. Devon attempted to speak, but at first it only came out as a croak. "I thought you knew." He looked across the room, desperate for someone to support him. "I thought that was why we were all here today. I, I, I thought."

The door suddenly opened. Rex leapt out behind the cubicle, straightening himself as if going to salute the next person to enter the room. Only to be disappointed when Justin stepped in. "Oh, it's just you." Rex stated as he walked over to get himself a cup of coffee. As if he had attended to do this the whole time.

"I thought you wanted me here?" Justin asked, looking around the room confused. "Didn't you say we had someone who who not only knew about what zompires were, but wanted to help us." He looked around the room as if missing something. "Isn't that why everyone is here?"

When he walked towards the center of the room, Rex glanced at the clock. "Well, they're supposed to be here at 0900. You're late by the way; I ordered you to arrive early."

Devon spotted Victoria and Ashley B doing the same thing with their phones beneath the table while he casually peered at the edge of his screen to see what time it was.

Rex has always been a stickler for punctuality. That went beyond the ridiculous notion that 15 minutes is on time and anything after was unacceptable. In fact, not knowing the time from anything other than your internal clock was a character flaw in his view.

Justin, on the other hand, either didn't know or didn't care. He looked at his phone in plain sight before turning to Rex. "It's 8:15," he said, more as a question than a statement.

Everything but Justin and Rex then became the most intriguing item in the room, as if by magic. Victoria couldn't seem to tear her attention away from a simple floral wall hanging. Ashley was fascinated with the shoes she was wearing that day.

Devon had shrunk considerably further in his chair. Looking through the emails of the individual who was supposed to arrive that day. Double checking that he hadn't missed something important.

"That is late." Rex spat, his face turning bright red as if he was going to burst. Then, taking an exaggerated breath, he gradually began to revert to a human shade. Before returning to his desk, he waved Justin off. "For the next half hour, do something significant." Before vanishing behind the cubicle walls.

As if a deer in headlights, Justin looked from Rex, then to the girls, both of them wide eyed, slowly shaking their heads. "Don't say anything." Ashley wordlessly mouthed as she patted the seat between her and Victoria.

"What exactly does he want me to do?" As he sat down, Justin whispered to both of the girls.

"Just tap at the keyboard," Victoria said quietly as she leaned forward. "He'll leave you alone if you sound like you're doing anything."

I play Candy Crush," Ashley said, a little grin on her face.

The longer time passed, the more tense the room became. No one dared to talk, but Justin, Victoria, or Ashley would gaze at each other and laugh. Then they return to their phones, furiously composing a text. Devon's first thought was that they were all messaging each other. Devon lowered his gaze to his phone,no new messages.

Unlike them, he needed to be doing something, not simply pretending. But he couldn't bring himself to do any of it. He couldn't stop thinking about this unknown ally getting screamed at for being five minutes early. He should have told them to arrive sooner. They'd despise him for not informing them. So long, potential friend, It was fun while it lasted.

The longer time elapsed before the appointment, the more tense the atmosphere became. They were still not there after fifteen, ten, and five minutes before nine o'clock. It wasn't until 9 a.m. when the door slid open. "I've arrived!" I know you've all been looking forward to my presence. But I'm finally here."

Devon's stomach sank to the floor as he gazed at the blond man with round cheeks and a button nose. It was him, Devon knew it. That was the man he was sharing emails with for the last few weeks.

It was true there were two of them, but the man with the cherry red hair didn't fit the person he had in mind. It was at that moment he knew this couldn't end well. He knew what the blond was and he had a strong feeling the other was the same.

Rex was in front of the two within seconds. "You're late." He barked at them, trying to assert dominance as he eyed the two up and down.

"Na au." The blond said, pushing his phone into Rex's face. "One minute, see? You said 9am. Today. In your email. If you wanted me before that you should have said."

Rex took a step back. "It's polite to arrive early," he said through gritted teeth.

"Well that's just stupid, you should just say what you mean." His face scrunched up as he turned to the other. "He should have said."

The other man's focus had not been on him but the girls. "Can we just get this over with. This was your idea and I don't fancy being here all day."

The blond then took another step forward so he was face to face with Rex. "Are you feeling alright? Or does your face always look like that? If I'm being honest. You look nothing like how I pictured you."

"I wasn't the one emailing you." Rex managed to get out through a clenched jaw.

The guy gazed around the room, briefly considering Justin and the girls before settling on Devon. The man then hopped up on the barrier and knelt in front of Devon. Devon swiftly averted his head away from the man, who's crotch was uncomfortably close to him.

"It was you? Wasn't it." He peered down at Devon with a toothy grin.

Devon swallowed and nodded, feeling trapped and unable to say anything else.

"Knew it. Now this is more what I had in mind." He slid his hand between his thighs and extended his hand to Devon. "My name is Grendel," he said, glancing up at the other Man, who gazed around the room as if he were some kind of high-ranking aristocrat. "And my friend over there is Milo. Don't worry, he's nicer than he looks."

Grendel then leaned down, almost brushing Devon's nose with his own, before drawing back and turning to face his companion. "He's a cutie, can I have him?"

Milo ruled his eyes "No, you may not. And can we please get on with this?"

"Absolutely, I concur with, what was it, Milo?" Rex said. Trying to avoid looking at Grendel but his gaze kept wandering over to him. "Before we can work together, I need assurance that you mean business and that we can rely on you."

Justin hung back as Rex explained all that happened. Vampire slaying, and the mysterious benefactor who previously funded their efforts. He dropped hints that the donors might not be reliable in the near future, but not saying why he thought this.

Explaining C.R.O.W. in great detail. He wanted to pull in more help from other places in case disaster struck. Of course, Milo was well aware who the mysterious benefactors were. He was present during Amy's death and was more informed about the church's activities than anybody else there, aside from maybe Justin.

Justin was mostly concerned with Milo, but he did occasionally take note of Grendel. He took Justin's place between Victoria and Ashley, where he engaged in idle chatter with them. Not that he was capable of more than small talk. Not only did he appear to be too inebriated to know where he was, but he also gave no indication of having more than two working brain cells on a good day.

"Can you tell us about your qualifications to help us?" Rex questioned with a poker face. "I intend no disrespect," Rex went on, surveying Milo's attire and demeanor. He was dressed in a custom-made brown suit with an ornate pattern and carried a cane for reasons unknown to Justin. "You don't strike me as the kind to get engaged in combat."

Milo didn't immediately respond. He cast an ashamed glance at the cane. "Maybe at first glance that's how it seems. But trust me, I'm stronger than you give me credit for." Then he cast a short glance at Grendel and said, "And despite his faults, I have faith in his ability to be an effective fighting partner for you. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters. For the zompires to be eliminated?"

Rex studied him for a moment before nodding in agreement. "I suppose you're right. We'll move on. I want to show you what we are up against. Vampires are one thing, but the zompires are something completely different. They are stronger, and. Well it will be easier if I just show you what we know."

It should have come as no surprise to Justin when Rex began leading them to the basement. But he wasn't expecting things to move so fast. It took weeks of talking to C.R.O.W. before he was authorized or even realized it existed.

But this was different. Devon had been in contact with them for much longer than that. And as Justin was the only one who knew they were vampires. The others had no reason to be suspicious of them.

By going past Rex's desk and through the unisex lavatory in the back of the building, one might get access to the basement. There were three stalls, the middle one had a handwritten note, saying it was out of order. Once inside that stall, a number pad lay concealed in the sanitary napkin disposal bin. And with the right code, the toilet was lowered and a door opened behind it. The exposed ladder would provide access to the building's lowest levels.

It dropped you to what appeared to be a storage area. Boxes and cobwebs clogged the space. But, knowing where to look revealed a number pad capable of moving a wall.

A sizable area lay beyond this. Computers lined the two walls leading to the fitness center. One any local fitness center would be envious of.

Although other fitness facilities featured practical apparatus, this one had equipment designed to prepare them for real-life difficulties. There was a rock wall and what appeared to be a little structure alongside an extreme jungle gym workout center.

And, on the other side, the thing that disturbed Justin the most. Mannequins with a large portion of their chest removed and replaced with a gelatinous form. The goal was to replicate the sensation of staking a vampire, with the skin and bones having the same solidity.

Justin understood the practicality of this. But he had never encountered a cold-blooded vampire. So all he could think of when using this was that he was plunging a piece of wood and threw a person.

Fortunately for him, they were more interested in zompires, an off set of what Milo was. And they had no reason to assume wood might stop them. So he'd only had to go through this once before.

Milo's focus shifted to that corner. "Have wooden stakes been effective in killing them?" Disapproval of the concept itself radiated from him.

While peering across the room, Rex drew nearer to Milo. "The vampires we usually battle? Yes, they did what they were supposed to. The new ones though." The man shook his head sadly. "This does nothing to them."

Like a young child eager to tell the new kid at school about his bug collection, a grin formed on his face as he glanced over to Milo. "The stakes, however, were never intended to be anything but a final measure. If one of those fucks went too close, for example. Do you want to have a look at some of the real toys?"

"Oh, I've got some fantastic toys, too, and I'm not afraid to share," Grendel said as Rex left the room. Twirling about on one of the desk seats. He sat on it, his head and legs protruding past the arm rest.

"Do you have to hit on anything with a pulse?" After holding back so many other things he wanted to say to him that morning, Justin finally snapped.

Grendel shook his head. "Someone's lack of a heartbeat has never scared me off before." He said as the chair swiveled passed Justin once more.

"You're disgusting," Justin said. "Do you think that's a good pick-up line?"

As the chair turned again, Grendel spoke out. "Yes, More than you would think anyhow."

He would have assumed it was a joke if it had been anyone else. Yet the little he knew about Grendel informed him that it wasn't. A loud thump interrupted Justin's thoughts as Rex returned to the room. At his feet lay a huge trunk.

As he opened the trunk to an array of weapons. Every type of weapon imaginable, from a bowie knife to a whole arsenal of guns. From little, one-handed guns that you could hardly see, to a massive one that filled the entirety of the six-foot box. Rex looked over everything proudly, curious to see what Milo thought of the loot. "We call this box a tool kit. Each of us has one."

Rex knelt down when Milo didn't show as much interest as he'd hoped. A container of what seemed to be tar was hidden behind a layer of foam in the trunk. Milo backed up a little as Rex got to his feet and flipped the lid open.

Justin was certain that no one else had spotted it. Milo's motions, however, always seemed premeditated, even when they were reactionary. Only now did he understand that was the same reaction he had to automobiles when they first met. This told him that this chemical worried Milo in some way.

"Can you tell me what this is?" Rex inquired, putting his finger into it and extending it to Milo.

"I have no idea." Milo stated, raising his nose to it, a look of disgust on his face. "Is it fatal to them?"

"If only," Rex said, as Milo seemed to ease up. Again, no one else would have seen the difference, but Justin did. "It inhibits their ability to recover. We spread it on whatever weapon we're using, such as a knife, or load bullets with it so it explodes within the body.

However it appears to be excruciatingly painful. Unfortunately, it does not kill them. We even conducted an experiment. I tethered one to a tree and sliced it up with this stuff. Nothing occurred; they simply howled in agony for hours.

The fact that Milo didn't think their weapons were impressive upset Rex. Yet he persuaded himself that wasn't necessarily a negative thing. Milo must have access to something far more potent if he found what they had to be dual.

There were more remarkable things Rex had, but he wouldn't show them off to a complete stranger so soon after meeting. But he had a good feeling about working with Milo.

"We don't know much about these new vampires, but we've started to fill in the gaps. About the zompires in particular, "Rex stated as he proceeded to hand over the zompire documents to Milo. They had relocated to a separate office and were now sitting around a circular table.

"They seem to be at different levels of decay. But they all seem to have the same speed and strength." Rex continued.

Milo browsed the papers, showing only lukewarm interest in what he was reading. "I see. I take it you also have files on the Netopuri like this?"

Rex paused before responding. He'd only heard the phrase Netopuri a few times. The first was from Malachi, the priest who had sponsored the C.R.O.W. project, and the second was from the beast itself.

Yet this wasn't the first time Milo had said something that made Rex wonder how much he knew. He'd used the phrase zompire, which he knew was just a term used among their group. Then even knowing the correct phrase for the simpler vampires intrigued him.

"Yes, but that's hardly relevant. I would like to focus on the zompires today. We have evidence suggesting they are a variant of another kind of vampire. Yet we've only ever faced up against a single one of them." Thinking about how rapidly things escalated, he stopped talking. Everything Milo needed to know was recorded on official documents. Rex would do well to act as though it wasn't as traumatic as it was.

Rex took another file out and handed it to Milo. "The thing is this one seemed to be able to think on its own."

"So what makes you think she's the same as the zompires?" Milo asked as he read through the pages.

"It died the same way as the zompires." Rex said with a shrug. "The way I see it is they start out that way and their mind slowly routes until it is just a mindless monster."

"What evidence do you have of this?" Milo asked, his eyes on the paper the whole time.

"We have very little to go by. I'm still up for any new information we can get." Rex watched Milo more carefully. He wasn't telling them everything. He had to have known more than he was letting on. But Rex was quickly starting to like him.

He was quiet and despite not sharing much now. Witch in Rex reasoned, was a good thing. He was also trying to figure out if he could trust C.R.O.W. He knew Milo could be a great asset to the team.

Grendel, on the other hand, appeared to be little more than a nuisance. He looked to be high even now. He could hardly sit up straight. His head rested against Milo's arm, one leg hanging on the side of the opposite arm rest. He wondered if they were gay and shuddered at the thought.

"Have you met any of the smarter zompires yet?" Rex asked, hoping to extract more from Milo before they left that day.

"I'm afraid the knowledge I can give you is very limited." Milo's hands slipped and a photo from the file he was looking at landed on the table.

Grendel watched the photograph as it toppled onto the table. He was probably too high to even comprehend what he was looking at, Rex thought to himself.

Then Grendel shouted just as Rex was about to speak. "I'm bored," as he swung away from Milo and over to the side where Victoria was sitting. He slouched forward in the chair, almost touching her shoulder. "How did you do it? How did you kill one of the smart zompires without anyone being hurt if they're so tough to kill?"

"All the information you need may be found in the file." Rex growled in the hopes of scaring him away from Victoria.

"It doesn't look like they did," Milo said, addressing Grendel. "It looks as if one person died and two others were injured.

"Oh no, that's so sad." Grendel's voice was monotone, and his stair was empty as he looked around the room.

Milo gave him a sidelong glance. "I wasn't talking about the Kaw-Sekhmu. The humans were harmed and one died. "

This time, Grendel's setup, wide eyed. "No, I'm sorry, I misunderstood you. That's terrible." He cast a tense glance around the room, as if only now realizing where he was. He turned to Milo with his mouth agape.

Rex could have punched Grendel in the face at that moment, but there were more important things to do and he was going to be the bigger person.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Grendel said to Victoria. "Losing a loved one is never easy. Were you two close?" He grasped for her hand, a convincing look of concern that filled Rex with rage. But it was ok, it would never work on Victoria.

Rex shot Grendel a dark look. Letting go of Victoria's hand, Grendel melted back into his chair so only the top of his head was visible to Rex.

When Rex raised the point that "there are more important things that they needed to be talking about right now," everyone listened. He could no longer see Grendel but his stupid face was burnt into his mind. Yet another worthless slob. He pondered what, exactly, Milo saw in him that made him think he could be an asset to him.

"Not important?" Grendel straightened up. "They served as a member of your squad. How could you possibly dismiss their significance?"

This was not going to end well, Rex reasoned. Victoria, Ashley, and even Justin had there heads down as in a moment of silence. Indeed, Ashley A's death was tragic. But she wasn't going to remain there indefinitely. The only reason she was there was because she was dating his sister.

She would have been a distant memory as soon as they recognized it was meaningless and moved on with their lives.

But it would never happen now. She'd be burned into everyone's mind, and his sister left with this ridiculous notion that she may have been the one.

That was the end of it. Rex smacked his hands on the table. He considered forcing them to go, but just as he was ready to say anything, he remembered what Milo said. He called the not-zompire something else. But he couldn't recall what it was. He made an effort to relax. What did Milo know?

"We can all talk about our feelings and how sad we are after the horde of evil monsters are dead. But right now we have to talk about how we are going to stop them." Why was Rex the only one who understood this?

Grendel leaned in close to Victoria, speaking in her ear loud enough for everyone to hear. "Do you have good health insurance?"

Victoria gave him a perplexed glance.

"I mean, I've seen worse situations before, and it's never cheap." Grendel spoke so solemnly that it forced her to engage with the nonsense he was trying to get at.

"What are you on about?" Victoria inquired, a fleeting glance at him followed by a return to the rest of the room. She attempted not to interact but yet not wanting to appear rude.

"That rod in his ass is going to have to come out at some point," Grendel lingered, now with a cheeky grin on his face. He must have thought he was so funny.

Then Victoria did something Rex couldn't forgive. She laughed, a real chuckle. She soon realized her error and covered her mouth. Trying to appear to be professional. Grendel sat there, a pleased expression on his face.

He was either the dumbest person on the planet or he was attempting to crawl beneath Rex's skin on purpose.

"Out!" Rex yelled.

"You want us to go." Milo asked, maintaining his cool manner throughout.

"I mean, no, yes." Rex could feel himself growing agitated. Typically, he could compose himself better. But the way Grendel was acting, he couldn't help himself. You don't say things like that, it was unprofessional. And the way he hit on Victoria all day. She wouldn't fall for some, no bone, jelly loser like him.

"Just him," Rex said, pointing to Grendel. "He can't possibly be here. We're going to be discussing top-secret matters, and he's simply. Just leave." Grendel's expression widened as Rex pointed at Grendel and then the door.

"All right," he said as he sprang off the table. "I'll just go play with some of your toys. Honestly, that seems like a lot more fun than this."

"No," Rex mumbled. "Do not touch anything."

"How, then, are you going to stop me?" Grendel's eyes broadened, mirroring his smile.

"Devon, follow him." Rex exploded. "Be certain that he does not touch anything."

Grendel walked out of the side room with a bounce in his step following Devon out. Once they were a few feet into the room Grendel sprung toward Devon, Catching him from behind and clinging to him as they went. "You've been unusually silent tonight. Is there a problem?"

Devon pulled away from him, as he made it to his desk and sat down in his chair. "This is simply who I am. You just don't know me."

Grendel watched with interest, maintaining his bright grin. He was great at reading people. And this wasn't the person he was talking to through emails. Or had he just read him wrong. He pushed that thought aside. That couldn't be the answer.

He grabbed the seat next to Devon, pulling himself over. "Oh come on, don't be that way. I thought we were friends?"

"We are not friends." Devon snapped. There was a sharpness to his voice that made Grendel flinch.

"since when?" He asked, trying to appear he was hurt by this statement. But mostly, he was confused. He thought he did a good job at worming his way into Devon's trust. None of this made any sense.

He had to maintain a specific appearance. He needed to project an image of kind, friendliness, and, most crucially, incompetence. He had to seem clueless to pull this off. No one trusted the smartest person in the room.

"Aww, are you jelly that I was chatting up the ladies instead of you?" He leaned forward, toeing the line between playful and seductive, strategically placing his hand on Devon's upper thigh. "How can I make it up to you?" Grendel saw the reddening of Devon's face and assumed victory.

"We are not friends," Devon said with an icy tone, facing Grendel. "I know who and what you are and why you're here."

"I know who I am too." Grendel answered, with a wink and a grin. "I can't help it. I'm just the most charming person in the room. People love me."

"You're a Kaw-Sekhm, and I'm not interested in being your next meal." After saying this, he swung around, and looked at the monitor in front of him.

Grendel reclined on his chair. That would have been different if he had used the term "vampire" or some such phrase. Devon, on the other hand, recognized the name. He attempted to maintain his artificial grin, but it began to fade as he watched Devon with one hand covering part of his face.

Why didn't he just tell the others as they walked in? That was the notion that kept going through Grendel's head. Yet he couldn't ask that question. Devon might not have said anything for the simple reason he hadn't thought to do so. It may have been the impetus he needed to say something. Yet it was all Grendel could think of.

Grendel took up his surroundings quickly. He was certain that he and Milo could simply flee. Yet if something bad happened to Milo, even if it was minor. He would be unable to forgive himself for a long time. After all, this was his idea.

Grendel leaned forward, gathering himself. "How? How do you know that?" There was no use in denying it now.

Devon regarded Grendel coolly, his eyes hard. "I've been tracking you and your kind for a long time. We know who you are and what you're capable of. Unlike the normal vampires you guys could walk in daylight and eat food if you want."

Grendel leaned back in his chair, his mind racing. He had underestimated C.R.O.W. He had thought they were just a bunch of amateurs, but clearly they were much more organized than he had anticipated. He wondered how much they knew. quickly worrying about his family, like Richard, Molly and there small child Olive.

"How much do you know?" he asked, his voice low.

Devon shrugged. "Enough."

Grendel became so engrossed that he forgot about his mask. He glanced over at the conference room before returning his attention to Devon. "How come they didn't recognize me?" Whispering as he leaned in.

Devon hesitated for a moment, eyeing Grendel warily. "I don't know. Maybe they just didn't see your face clearly. Or maybe they weren't paying attention."

Grendel leaned in closer, his eyes fixed on Devon's face. "You're not telling me everything," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

Devon's jaw tightened. He knew he was playing a dangerous game, but he couldn't bring himself to reveal everything he knew about Grendel and his kind. He had his reasons for keeping some things to himself. Grendel was going to find out what that was.

He kept his sights on Devon as a small bead of sweat began to pull and drip down his face.

"Because all my research was destroyed. And if I let them know I remembered too much. Say your face. Then they would find out I know more and I don't want to see them killing children."

"So how did they get destroyed?" Grendel, still watching him intently.

"I didn't burn them."

"I didn't say you," Grendel started to say as a smile crept on his face. "Oh, but you did." He moved in closer. "Is that why everyone is giving you the stink eye? Why did you do it?"

Devon didn't answer, every muscle in his body seemed to tighten up. He no longer was locked onto the computer, but he still didn't dare look at Grendel.

This wasn't good. Grendel sat back in his chair, considering Devon's words. He knew that he couldn't stay with the group forever, but he also knew that leaving would come with its own risks. For now, he needed to figure out a way to protect himself and Milo, and he couldn't do that without more information.

"Listen, Devon," Grendel said, leaning forward once again. "I don't want to fight with you or the rest of the group. But I need to know what they know about me and my kind. Can you help me out with that? They don't understand what we are. And like you said, there are children we need to protect."

He needed Devon on his side more than ever. The others know very little. But if he started killing people now. He was sure Devon would say something.

Devon hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I'll see what I can do. But you need to be careful, Grendel. They're not going to go easy on you if they find out you're a vampire."

If he left things like this it could be bad. He would have to lighten the mood. "Don't worry, I got the perfect alibi for you."

Grendel then moved in even closer, his speech barely audible, as though they were at a sleepover discussing boys. "I can see it now." Grendel said this as he placed his hand on Devon's shoulder and drew his hand in front of them, as if sketching an invisible rainbow.

"It was going to be a beautiful day. So you went on an exciting wilderness walk. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and so on." Grendel made a motion with his hands, continuing the narrative.

"When you found yourself in the middle of a snowstorm." Grendel grabbed Devon for emphasis. "You had no option but to seek sanctuary in the cave with your one and only comrade, the yeti."

"What?" Devon drew back. "How did the yeti get here?"

"Shush, I'm narrating the story," Grendel protested. "He was there the entire time, but he was too busy doing other things to be essential to the plot until now."

"What is his significance to the plot?"

"Shush. Let me tell the story. So you and the yeti are trapped in the freezing cave. And all you have with you is a backpack with all the information you have about the Kaw-Sekhmu. The yeti instructs you to burn it, but you know you can't. This information is much too valuable. But, no." Grendel snatched Devon again, squeezing his face this time.

"The pregnant mother is going to give birth." Grendel's voice softened as Devon drew away.

"There is now a pregnant woman? Where did she come from?" He backed away, more irritated by the conflicting tale than anything else. "And don't claim she was present the entire time."

"Maybe she was trying to find a place to hide from the storm too?" Grendel shrugged, having no conviction in his answer.

"A pregnant woman at nine months? Why was she out in the storm in the first place? That's simply stupid. You're terrible at telling stories."

"You're the one who destroyed the files, I'm just trying to give you an out." Grendel inquired, noting Devon seemed more at ease.

"No, I didn't." He spoke with less conviction this time, and his gaze flickered from Grendel to the conference room.

"Blink five times if you don't feel safe." Grendel questioned, and Devon moved in closer before blinking, much to his surprise. Their noses would have touched if one of them moved.

"You're correct, I don't feel comfortable. Do you want to know why?" Devon inquired gently, while Grendel nodded. "Because I'm hearing the most horrible goddamn story I've ever heard in my whole life." He then reclined in his chair. "And the narrator is a vampire who is probably coming to kill everyone, including myself."

"So why don't you simply tell them?" grumbled Grendel. He had to be cautious. Devon would ponder about it or, worse, convince himself into informing the others if he posed that question too many times. He needed to convince him that they were friends, or at the very least on the same side.

"The truth is." Grendel's grin had vanished. Now for the lovely Grendel, who only smiles to disguise his profound dark agony because no one knows who he truly is. He hung his head low, as if he was about to reveal a terrible secret.

"The truth is that I want the zompires dead. And I'm worried that if it's just the two of us, Milo will get injured. I wanted to find somebody who could assist me." He raised his head to check whether he was getting through to Devon. "You know, it's only been the two of us for so long; I don't believe I'd be able to face it if something happened to him."

"You're using us as cannon fodder?" Devon responded without passion in his voice. As he spoke,Grendel removed the mask of sadness off his face. Knowing the sob story wasn't going to plan.

"Fine, yeah." Grendel confessed, throwing his hands up. "But don't look at it like that. It's more like a mutual, fondling. Fodder?" He quickly corrected himself with a cheeky grin. "Like You guys are only humans, If you have us help we can get more done. And if you get lucky we will become over-confident and get ourselves killed?"

The mussels in Devon's body finally seemed to relax as he contemplated this. Grendel grabbed his hand. Pulling it close to his face. "Please don't tell the big, bad, scary vampire killers who we really are." placing a gentle peck on his hand as he pouted, giving the most desperate face he could muster. "Please?"

Reluctantly, Devon nodded as Grendel pulled away. "And for the record, I'm a fantastic story teller."

#warm blooded vampires series #writing #vampires #gaz042 #crow #chapter 2 #C.R.O.W #vampire story #gothic novel #urban fantasy #wattpad #my writting

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majimassqueaktoy · 2 years ago

Note

I present to you my GF's Kazama rant in all of it's glory

"In the very beginning of Kiwami 1 (and Y1 as well) when Kiryu gets a call that Yumi has been kidnapped, Kazama tries to convince him to stay out of it just so that he can have Kiryu around to rise in ranks as a yakuza regardless of the fact that he KNOWS damn well how much Kiryu cares about Yumi and Nishiki too who might also be endangered and obviously shouldn’t have to find Dojima alone. He attempts to manipulate Kiryu into thinking that it would be in his best interest to leave it be, and some argue that Kazama is right because if Kiryu listened he wouldn’t have been imprisoned and that might be factually accurate but it’s still incredibly fucked he would even think of allowing the girl he raised to be taken advantage of by his boss that he KNOWS is predatory like that only because he wants to look out for his golden child. And only kiryu alone because I guarantee you if kiryu had stayed, Kazama wouldn’t have lifted a damn finger to save Yumi from Dojima.

During Kiryu’s imprisonment we get to witness Nishiki’s frantic efforts to save his chronically ill sister. Kazama sets him up for failure by giving him men that do not respect him and only view him as a pushover. Not only does he do that, but Kazama is the patriarch of his family. He’s making fat stacks of cash. You know what have saved Nishiki’s sister? Surgery. The surgery was extremely expensive and Nishiki was fighting to get money for it ALONE. Kazama didn’t do anything at all to help him financially or otherwise other than give him a handful of guys to walk all over him. Even if I have where the guys came from wrong, Kazama could have afforded the surgery and that’s that. Once Nishiki loses his sister he no longer cares about anything but clawing his way to the top and achieving recognition he had never gotten because everyone in his life has always doubted him and his image of Kiryu becomes increasingly warped over time. You know who started that seed of doubt towards Kiryu? Kazama. Nishiki has never been blind towards the favor and preference that Kazama has for Kiryu and it becomes the only thing Nishiki can focus on. Almost everyone around him says they wish Nishiki was in prison because Kiryu is “more competent”, ‘almost everyone’ typically having a relation to Kazama being that they are within the subsidiary of the Kazama family. Of course they put Kiryu on a pedestal because Kazama did. But back to the situation with Nishiki’s sister, he grows so frantic as her time runs out to save her that he gives in and lets one of his shitty underlings do what he wants just so that he can get the money to save her. Kazama once again offers no help in getting Nishiki’s men under control and allows Kashiwagi to get angry at Nishiki for taking collections on his turf. Still at this point, all Nishiki needs is money. Money that he could pay back with his family’s collections as well. Kazama does not help him and as a result, Nishiki’s sister dies awaiting life saving treatment.

When Nishiki loses that hope and he does not care anymore, it directly contributes to the following events. Kazama didn’t just do Nishiki wrong after Kiryu went to jail, though. The entire time, Kazama has known about the whole situation with Yumi and even aided her in becoming Mizuki. I’m sure he had an idea that Kiryu would be looking for her, and yet he totally withheld that information from him. He got shot and went into hiding and everything, sure, but come on, he could have told Kiryu at any time if he really wanted to. He could have also let Kiryu know about the situation with Jingu and what his relation was to Yumi. Reuniting Kiryu and Yumi would have prevented the millennium tower explosion because Kiryu would have found a solution for Yumi to get rid of Jingu without literally blowing him and his money up. Of course we cannot gloss over his death scene and last words. As he died he admitted to Kiryu that he killed the parents of everyone at sunflower and that sunflower orphanage only existed to raise the children of his victims. Since he confessed this mere minutes away from death, Kiryu had no choice but to simply accept that his father figure did that without having a single second to process the weight of what he just said. Kazama got forgiveness and acceptance he did not deserve in the very end. There may be a few more things I could add but this is mostly every grievance."

NO BUT TRULY THOUGH? You're girlfriend is 100% on the money!! I don't even dislike Kazama, he's pretty interesting, but boy oh boy did he handle shit /badly/ and yeah him having an orphanage for the kids of his victims will always make me go Man?? So yeah, totally agree! Thanks for sending this 💗

#ask #yakuza 1 #but yeah no i dont have anything to add bc its literally 100% how I feel too #like there's so much to unpack with Kazama but maybe throwing the suitcase away is easier.#Especially him and Kashiwagi toward Nishiki though like.... you guys really set him up to fail #nishiki and yumi and kiryu too deserved better.#long post

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mrsalwayswrite · 4 years ago

Text

Hvítr gown, nýr life (Ubbe x Reader)

This is my contribution to @geekandbooknerd 2k followers challenge! Congrats again, my dear!

My prompt was: "People aren't born good or bad. Maybe they're born with tendencies either way, but it's the way you live your life that matters." - Cassandra Clare, City of Glass.

Couple notes for this fic- Bjorn & Torvi are still together because reasons. Italics mean speakers are using Old Norse.

The title means ‘White Gown, New Life’ in Old Norse.

Also, this is my first time writing Ubbe so.... hopefully its not OOC?

Words: 4800

Warnings: one or two swear words. implied sex. I think that’s it???

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius

"You cannot truly be considering this!" Bjorn thundered in the small, enclosed room.

Ubbe observed his elder brother- a man he had aspired to be like his whole childhood, a man he still looked up too, regardless of his faults. "Of course I am."

Bjorn slammed his hand on the wooden table, making it shake, as his voice shook like thunder in the room. "You are throwing your future away!"

"I am protecting our future!" Ubbe snapped, finally rising to his feet, irritation leaking into his tone. He met Bjorn's incensed blue eyes with his own resolute gaze. "We need allies, alliances, everything to make father's dream come true. If this is the price I must pay to fulfill Ragnar's dream, then I will gladly do it. It is not about me. It's for our people."

After a long, tense moment, Lagertha pushed off the wall she and Torvi were leaning against. Gliding closer, she moved to stand in front of Ubbe, tears swimming in her eyes. Gently, she cupped his cheeks. "Your father would be so proud of you, Ubbe. I pray the gods bless you with happiness in this."

"Thank you, Lagertha." Relief swelled in Ubbe's chest. If he had Lagertha's support, he knew Bjorn would come around.

Since they fled Kattegat and came to England, he had watched the shieldmaiden age before his eyes. He could not help but wonder if her soul yearned for Valhalla and to be reunited with Ragnar. Not that he could blame her. To hear her speak of Ragnar and his approval of Ubbe's actions, it only further solidified his choice.

Torvi spoke up, surprising him. "I think Ubbe should do it." When Bjorn opened his mouth to interject, she snapped her gaze over to her husband. "This is his decision, Ubbe. He has asked for our advice but it is up to him. We need security and this, though we don't trust them, this can provide that security."

Bjorn huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine! Do what you want!"

"Thank you." Ubbe softly said, looking at all the family he had left in this world. "I'll go inform King Alfred now."

With a firm stride, he left the quarters they had been given in Wessex. After some time trying to locate the young king, a passing servant was able to tell him Alfred's location. Thankfully the king was in his private study, reviewing petitions from the worker's guild. The guards at the door allowed Ubbe entrance only after the king called out to allow him entrance. With a look of unrestrained animosity, almost begging him to give them a reason to throw him out, the guards opened the door for him to pass. Ubbe nodded his thanks, but never removed his hand from the sword at his side until the door closed behind him.

Straightening in his chair, Alfred looked up from the papers spread out over his desk. "Good afternoon, Ubbe. I suspect you have sought me out because you have an answer for my proposition."

"I do, your highness." Ubbe paused, knowing how his life was going to irrevocably change once he answered. "And I will accept. I will take a Saxon wife to further the alliance between us."

"I am greatly pleased by your decision." The dark-haired man pushed away from his desk. He moved to a nearby table to pour them both a cup of wine, something these Saxons seemed to favor, as he continued speaking. "Alliances must be built on trust and understanding. A political marriage certainly helps solidify that trust."

Ubbe received the cup, missing the taste of ale from his homeland. After taking a small sip, he stared at Alfred. "So what do we do now? Do I meet some potentials or is there a matchmaker?"

"No, I already have someone picked out for you. My cousin." Alfred answered without hesitation before pausing in contemplation. "What your father and my grandfather would think of this arrangement….our families tied by blood."

"Yeah…. What is her name?"

"My cousin? Lady Y/N. Fear not, she comes from a well-respected family and with a substantial dowry. She has spent most of her life at a nunnery, so there is no fear of her virtue being tainted."

"Great." Ubbe sighed out. Though he knew Alfred meant all that to be reassuring….it felt anything but.

*****

It was not until almost a month later, Ubbe met his intended bride; with the wedding set for three days after her arrival. Apparently King Alfred and some of the Saxon noblemen were keen on the arranged marriage happening as soon as possible.

Ubbe stood off to the side in the throne room. With his hair freshly braided and pulled back and wearing one of his nicer tunics, he hoped he appeared princely. Even if by Saxon standards, he knew he fell woefully short. Lagertha had given him a nod of approval as they waited in the throne room. Though outwardly he kept his face passive and calm, his insides twisted into knots and his hands were clammy.

"Are you still certain about this, brother?" Bjorn clapped Ubbe on the shoulder as he whispered, eyeing the Saxons standing around.

The flaxen-haired Viking glanced over at King Alfred, who sat on his throne, talking in hushed tones to one of his advisors while his mother looked on with a sour expression.

Ubbe answered solemnly. "Aye, we need this alliance."

With a grunt, Bjorn removed his hand but stayed at his brother's side. Something Ubbe appreciated. Although Bjorn had no issue airing his thoughts on this foolish alliance and how Ubbe was making a mistake in regards to choosing a wife again, he kept his complaints behind closed doors. In front of the Saxons, they presented an united front.

The large doors to the throne room opened with a groan. All eyes turned to witness as a sole figure cautiously yet gracefully walked forward, head held high and hands clasped in front of her.

"Cousin!" King Alfred exclaimed, rising from his throne, arms spread wide. Immediately, he descended the few stairs with a fond smile on his face. "Your presence has been missed here at court."

The woman dipped into an elegant curtsey, her dress gliding around her like water. "You are far too kind, my king."

As King Alfred embraced his cousin in a warm hug, Ubbe could only stare in shock. Standing there in a deep red gown, the woman looked like a goddess. Ubbe had prepared himself mentally for his intended bride to be marginally pretty like most of these Saxon women, but someone he easily overlooked. Not her though. Without even saying a word to him, he felt beguiled by her. It was more than just her physical beauty, it was in the way she carried herself, with grace and a nobility. It reminded him distantly of his mother. A woman who knew her place and dignity. This woman, his intended bride, was truly stunning. He could not help but wonder if the true reason for her prolonged residence at a nunnery was not because of piety but to preserve and protect her. Something he was suddenly immensely grateful for.

"This is your betrothed." Alfred walked her over to where the Vikings stood, at the bottom of the steps leading to his throne. With a pleased smile on his face, he introduced the two. "Ubbe, son of Ragnar Lothbrok, this is my cousin, Lady Y/N."

She curtsied to him, her movements so graceful like they were part of a dance. When she spoke, he was further enchanted, for even her voice was beautiful. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lord Ubbe."

"It's just Ubbe. Since we are to be married, we can skip the formalities."

A coy smile played on her lips. "As you wish….Ubbe."

"Excellent." King Alfred beamed. "Perhaps a walk in the gardens to better acquaint yourselves would be desirable?"

Before Ubbe could whole-heartedly agree, wishing to learn more about his intended bride, a sickly-sweet voice interrupted.

"Y/N has only just arrived. We have wedding plans to finalize and she must try on her dress." Princess Judith interrupted, wrapping an arm through her niece's while pointedly ignoring the Vikings. "Maybe another time, but I am sure y/n will be quite busy with preparations. Come, my dear."

With that, she swept her niece out of the throne room as if the Vikings had the plague and she refused to breathe the same air as them. But before y/n disappeared, she peeked over her shoulder and met Ubbe's gaze with a tender smile teasing her lips, then disappeared from view.

"There is much to finalize and my mother wants to ensure the wedding will go smoothly. You and y/n will have time after the wedding to become acquainted." Alfred said, studying the direction his mother and cousin vanished. With a sigh, he pulled his gaze back to Ubbe. "Now that introductions are made, I have matters with the clergy to attend to."

Ubbe barely paid attention when Alfred walked away, returning to his throne and listening to some priests whine about something petty.

A bump of a shoulder against his own drew Ubbe's attention back from thinking about y/n.

Bjorn leaned over to whisper conspiracingly in his ear. "Well, at least you won't have a problem bedding her."

*****

The wedding ceremony was outlandish and dragged on for entirely too long. Between the many prayers of the priests and the rigid formality of everything, Ubbe was ready to draw his sword and spill some Christian blood, just to break up the monotony. Even Lagertha appeared ready to fall asleep from where she stood.

The only aspect that kept his attention was his bride. Watching her walk down the aisle, he almost swallowed his tongue, leaving him gaping at her in a slack-jawed awe as she slowly approached. In her flowing wedding dress, a crown of flowers in her hair and eyes alight, she appeared ethereal. Standing in his nicest tunic and pants, he knew he paled in comparison to her, but he did not mind.

When the priests tried to forcefully convince Ubbe to dress in Saxon clothing for the wedding, he not-so-subtly threatened to decapitate them if they mentioned it once more. He was a Viking and would dress as such. Besides this was to be a physical representation of an alliance between Saxon and Viking, it would make no sense for him to dress as a Saxon.

Thankfully Alfred agreed with his thoughts, so the clergy kept any further comments to themselves.

Once the wedding concluded with Ubbe and y/n proclaimed man and wife, the couple was escorted to the celebration. The following feast was beyond lavish, with drink and food in overflowing abundance. To his dismay, Ubbe found himself unable to converse with his new bride. Either Alfred was introducing him to someone new, some nobleman pestered him with questions or worst of all, Judith purposefully continued to make excuses that pulled y/n away. When their eyes met, he could see the apology in them, which lightened the stone in his heart.

As the feast progressed, Ubbe found as more time passed, the more his gaze drifted to his bride. The gods had truly blessed him with this marriage. Watching her, he was captivated. Although, he found his hand frequently shifting to reach for the hilt of his sword no longer strapped to his side. All the appreciative or lustful looks she received from other men did not go unnoticed, and if one of them tried to lay a hand on his new wife, he would not be held accountable for his actions. His fists could be just as deadly as any weapon.

Finally, the time was called for the bedding ceremony.

Alfred and some of the clergy explained to Ubbe what happened during a bedding ceremony when he was learning about the wedding's customs and the vows he would have to recite. To say the Ragnarsson was shocked was an understatement. It sounded barbaric…. and him and his people were called the heathens. But he understood the need to maintain protocol for building the alliance and the trust of the Saxons.

So that was how he found himself walking down a corridor with Bjorn at his side, while the feast and celebrations continued on without him.

"Are you sure about this?"

Ubbe rolled his eyes at his elder brother, his stride never faltering. "You did not have to agree to it."

Bjorn scoffed, keeping pace. "And miss out on all the fun?"

The two brothers laughed, the sound loosening some of the tension in the bridegroom's body. When Alfred told Ubbe he needed a witness to represent his people at the bedding ceremony, Bjorn was the only option. When Ubbe initially told his brother about the tradition and asked for Bjorn's presence, the hulking Viking had doubled-over in laughter, followed by making several crude comments about the need to instruct Ubbe on how to properly bed a woman. The discussion ended in a brotherly tussel but Bjorn agreed.

Especially when Ubbe explained his plan.

The bedroom was in the wing of the royal families' rooms. Since y/n was related by blood, she was given a room there whenever she came to visit and naturally, this meant it was where the marriage would be consummated. Several candles were lit but the bedroom was kept dim to give an illusion of privacy. A quick glance at the bed made Ubbe raise an eyebrow at the generous size and the curtains draped around it. A fire burned in the fireplace providing warmth in the bedroom, a sharp contrast to the stern, cold faces of the clergy who waited.

The bishop who married them stood off to the side with two other clergy, all in their robes and barely suppressed looks of disgust on the priests' faces. Two female attendees fussed over y/n, clearly everyone waiting for Ubbe and Bjorn. Once again, Ubbe had to force himself to keep his eyes from staying glued to his new wife. She stood there in a thick robe, with her hair falling about her shoulders loosely, free from the bridal veil. Her gaze jumped from Ubbe to the clergy and back as she nibbled on her bottom lip, clearly nervous about what was to occur next. Cheekily, he sent her a quick wink, hoping that would help settle her nerves. If the blush that grew on her cheeks said anything, at least she was not repulsed by him.

The bishop stepped forward. "Are you prepared to consummate your marriage to Lady Y/N before God and man?"

"I am." Ubbe defiantly met the man's eyes.

"Then by the power given to me by the Holy Church, let the two become one in the sight of God and these witnesses and the marriage shall be complete." With that, the man drew their strange cross sign in the air and stepped back to rejoin his fellow clergy.

The two attendees helped y/n out of her heavy robe, revealing a thin, white nightgown that seemed to only enhance her beauty and innocence. Desire thrummed in his blood at the sight of her, but Ubbe ignored the sensation for the moment. The heavy robe was laid on a nearby chair and the two women left the room with a quick curtsy, leaving only the men and y/n.

After a shared look with Bjorn, Ubbe walked over to his new bride, keeping his movements slow so as to not startle her. Her hands were clasped before her, but even as he approached, he could see the faint tremble in them. Her gaze never strayed from the floor. The confidence seen previously in her seemed to have melted away into anxiety, making him think of a skittish colt. He could not help but wonder what changed, if it was due to him or what was supposed to occur between them.

Standing before her, he gently reached out to take her soft hands in his own larger, calloused ones, pleased when she did not flinch at his touch. Although her gaze remained downward.

"Are you alright?" He whispered, aware of the four pairs of eyes watching their every move.

"Of….of course, my lord husband."

"Remember, I told you to call me by my name."

That caused her head to snap up and meet his gaze. Now he could see the tears welling up in her eyes and her swollen bottom lip from constantly worrying it.

"It'll be alright." He tugged her bottom lip from between her teeth. The way her breath hitched at the intimate touch made his heart pound. He gave her hands in his, a quick squeeze. "Trust me, yeah?"

After a moment, she gave a faint nod, still eyeing him warily but appearing less like she wanted to flee, mutely squeezing his hands back.

A voice broke the stillness in the room, immediately causing her to tense again.

"The two of you must proceed to the bed to finalize the union. We do not have all night to wait for confirmation of her virginity and consummation." One of the priests drawled with an apparent undertone of disdain.

"Then it is a good thing you don't have to wait any longer." Ubbe retorted, narrowing his eyes at the priest. The man huffed but a quiet rebuke from the bishop had the priest pressing his lips together. With one final, assessing scan, the flaxen-haired Viking shifted, pulling his new bride into his side and wrapping an arm around her waist. He felt her tense against him but ignored it to stare at the three clergy with a mocking smirk. "Bjorn."

At the sound of his name, his brother moved from leaning against the doorframe. A scowl on his face, and with the shadows cast over him, made him appear more looming and menacing. "Everybody out."

The three clergy looked back and forth between the two Viking brothers, clearly confused and intimidated.

"You can't….we must witness…."

"I SAID EVERYBODY OUT!" Bjorn roared, pulling the axe from his side and waving it in the air. "OR DO I NEED TO SPLIT YOUR SKULL TO HELP MY WORDS REACH YOUR TINY BRAINS?!"

The three scrambled, eyes wide in terror, tripping over their long robes in a pathetic attempt to reach the door faster. The bishop turned around, hands grasping the golden cross hanging from his neck. "King….King Alfred will hear of this." He stuttered out in feigned confidence.

A deafening war cry from Bjorn practically shook the room in answer. That was enough to silence the bishop and have him flee, following his companions.

At Bjorn's roar, y/n began shaking like a leaf, her hands tightly holding onto Ubbe's arm wrapped around her. He further pulled her against him, providing shelter from his brother's fury. Even as the room fell back into silence, he could still feel her trembling in his arms. He prayed to the gods that this did not darken her view of him and cause her to fear him.

Once the room cleared and the pounding footfalls of the clergy could no longer be heard, Bjorn turned around with a grin, scratching the back of his neck with his axe. "You know Alfred will be upset when he finds out."

Ubbe smirked. "We can't let him have everything he wants, yeah?"

That made Bjorn chuckle. "I'll go guard the door." He pointed his axe at Ubbe, still grinning. "You owe me for this."

"Scaring priests shitless isn't enough for you?"

Bjorn scoffed. "I can do that whenever I like."

"We'll name our firstborn after you."

Bjorn waved him off, opening the wooden door and stepping out. When the door closed, the echoing sound seemed to fill the empty space in the room.

Ubbe peeked down at the woman in his arms. "Are you alright?"

"Your brother….is….frightening."

"Aye, don't tell him that though. It would only inflate his ego more."

Once he was certain she was steady on her feet and would not faint, he pressed a chaste kiss to the side of her head before striding away to the other side of the bedroom. Quickly he pulled off his tunic and boots, tossing them onto a nearby chair and then flopped onto the massive bed in only his pants. If nothing else could be said for tonight, he knew he would sleep well. The bed was comfortable, even rivaling his own bed back in Kattegat. With a pleased groan, he tucked an arm under his head and settled under the covers. A wave of exhaustion crashed over him, his eyelids sliding closed. Even though he felt like he spent most of the day standing around and kneeling for the wedding, it was still tedious and draining. Thank the gods it was over.

"Um, my lord…."

"Ubbe." He interrupted, lips twitching in amusement. "Or husband. Whichever you prefer."

"Ah, Ubbe….are we not….?" Her hesitant voice trailed off, but the unspoken question lingered in the air.

He snorted. "I have no plans to force myself upon you just to appease your priests and bishop."

"But we must consummate the marriage."

"I will only have sex with you if you desire me as your husband and not just to fulfill an obligation."

The following, prolonged silence caused him to open his eyes and look over at his new wife. It was apparent she had not moved from where he left her. He expected to see fear on her lovely face or revulsion at the idea of her ever willingly wanting him to touch her. Instead, she seemed to be studying him with a mixture of curiosity and respect. That confident woman he had previously met, making a reappearance.

After holding her gaze for a moment, he patted the bed next to him. "Come lay down. I doubt standing there all night will be pleasant."

With a soft smile, she stepped over and crawled under the covers, but maintained an arm’s length distance between them. They both laid on their backs, together yet alone. The only sounds were of the crackling fire and their breathing.

Before he realized it, Ubbe found himself speaking, filling the silence with his babbling but strangely felt he needed to share these thoughts with the woman beside him, the woman whose life was now tied to him, whether she wanted it to be or not.

"I doubt this is the marriage you were dreaming of as a little girl. Probably expected some prince or lord….not a Viking. Your people only see us as heathens, as barbaric devils, at least that's what one of the noblemen said. That we cannot stop the evil and destruction we cause because we are possessed." He snorted, rubbing a hand down his face. After a deep breath, he turned his head to look at her, amazed to find her already watching him. His tone softened as he continued. "I'm sorry you were forced into this marriage. I know it might not mean much to you but I vow I won't ever physically harm you or force myself upon you. After all the wedding ceremonies, you can return to the nunnery if that is what you want."

Her eyes widened momentarily, then drifted away as she worried her lip once again. As he waited for her to speak, his gaze traveled over her face, taking in the small details that until now he had not been able to observe. It would be a blatant lie to say he did not desire to lie with her, to touch and taste her. The current state of his manhood was evidence enough of how simply gazing at her beauty affected him. He made a vow to her. If nothing else, he hoped they could be friendly to one another.

To his shock, she rolled onto her side, facing him completely, hands tucked under her cheek. Without hesitation, he mirrored her action, but kept his head cradled on his arm.

"I have not traveled much," she quietly said, almost shyly, "but there is one thing I've learned through my studies and the observation of others. People aren't born good or bad. Maybe they're born with tendencies either way, but it's the way you live your life that matters." She paused as if choosing her next words carefully. "I do not think you are a barbaric devil or….or possessed. I think…."

"What?"

"I think you are very brave and strong. Not many would seek an alliance with those that fervently claim them as an enemy….nor be kind to a simple noblewoman."

He smirked, finding himself charmed by her honesty. Carefully, he reached over and brushed a thumb over her cheek. "You are no simple noblewoman, my lady."

"If you are just Ubbe, then I request you call me, y/n."

An unexpected, loud banging on the door startled them both. Y/n gasped and rushed to sit up against the headboard, eyes wide with fright. Ubbe immediately pushed himself up, making sure to put himself between his wife and the door, unsheathing a dagger he had subtly slipped under his pillow.

"Are you two done yet? Some ugly priest out here wants to know!" Bjorn shouted through the door.

Ubbe groaned, putting the dagger away, before calling back. "No! This woman is insatiable! Tell the priest to come back in the morning! Hopefully I can still walk!"

A harsh bark of laughter preceded loud arguing, which could be heard through the door. Raised voices crept underneath the door frame, the loudest being that of Bjorn. Ubbe stayed perched on the bed, to assist his brother if the need called for it. No matter what Alfred or those whiny clergy ordered, no one would be witnessing any consummation of his. Ever. Eventually, the voices dwindled like a dying flame until only silence could be heard from outside. Ubbe figured Bjorn must have won the argument, or used enough threats of bodily harm, since no one entered the bedroom.

The dagger returned to its sheath under his pillow. A habit he had since childhood. A glance to his side showed his wife still shifted as far away from the door as possible, hands clutching the sheets in a tight grip. He reached a hand out to her. "It's alright. Bjorn won't let anyone in."

She took his hand, still eyeing the door warily. "What did you say to him?"

"Ah, nothing important. Just to keep the priests away."

"Ok."

"We should go to sleep. Today has been long." He stated after he coaxed her back under the covers and no longer sent glances towards the door. Only after she was settled did he relax. Laying on his back, an arm behind his head, his eyes closed almost instantly. He could hear her shuffling occasionally but he paid it no mind. Sleep slinked into his mind, hovering on the edges.

"Ubbe…." A barely-heard whisper pulled him from the brink of sleep.

"Yes?"

"What if….what if I want to."

"Mmmm?"

"Um, fulfill our marital duties."

Well, that got his attention. He turned his head to the side, noting how her gaze traced over his bare chest slowly then lifted to meet his gaze. "Are you asking me to have sex with you?"

"Yes." She bit her bottom lip, even as her eyes never strayed from him.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"Hmmm….well, I may be convinced but….you have to kiss me first."

Cautiously yet deliberately, she scooted closer until they lay side by side. In a graceful movement, she leaned over and pressed her lips to his in an innocent, chaste kiss. Her lips were softer than even the pillow beneath him and by the gods, she was going to be his undoing. After a moment, she leaned back, gazing down at him with a nervous yet endearing smile. Before he could say anything, to encourage or instruct, her lips descended on his once again, but this time hungrily. His initial surprise transitioned to a carnal satisfaction when a soft moan slipped out of her after he tugged on her bottom lip. Their mouths connected with a needy kiss, sending a jolt of electricity through him. All thoughts of sleep forgotten.

Suddenly, he flipped them over, pinning her underneath him, taking charge of their love-making. She giggled at the abrupt action but that was quickly silenced by his mouth crashing against hers and thrusting his tongue into her mouth.

As she kissed him back passionately, he wondered if maybe this marriage was not such a bad idea. If the way her lips eagerly sought his, her hands gripped onto biceps as if to keep her steady, her back arched as he trailed open-mouth kisses down her neck….maybe the marriage could be more than just political.

Soon enough, all thoughts vanished from his mind that were not related in regards to exploring the exquisite body of his Saxon wife and listening to her moan his name repeatedly.

#vikings #vikings fandom #vikings fanfic #vikings fanfiction #ubbe #ubbe ragnarsson #ubbe x reader #ubbe x you #ubbe lothbrok #ubbe ragnarsson x reader #vikings bjorn #torvi vikings #lagertha #alfred the great #king alfred #hayleys2k #mzwrites

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soobmint · 4 years ago

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when the ice begins to thaw | kang taehyun [f] ice prince! au, 10.4k words

s u m m a r y : The rumors of the Ice Prince, Kang Taehyun, that run throughout the kingdom of Glacies are nothing short of terrifying. Known as a spoiled boy who does nothing but take advantage of the horrors bestowed upon the kingdom by his grandfather, the late king, Taehyun is feared and despised by nearly all of his subjects. When you decide to take matters into your own hands as the kingdom’s greatest thief by plotting to steal the crown that harnesses the prince’s unjustly earned powers, you are surprised to find out that perhaps the Ice Prince is not exactly who everyone fears him to be.

c o n t e n t s : kang taehyun x fem reader, ice prince! taehyun, thief! reader, lots and lots of fluff, very mild angst, features enhypen’s 02 line!!

t a g l i s t : @honeyju @chanluster @tyonfs @magicalstellar

n o t e : this oneshot is my contribution to the five princes collaboration! you can find the masterlist for the collab here. check out the other participants’ blogs too! [ @bffsoobin, @juunnies, @honeyju, @gyuluster ]. this was a lot of fun to write and i hope you guys enjoy it!

FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS THOUGHT TO BE THE GREATEST THIEF AROUND, YOU WEREN’T VERY QUICK ON YOUR FEET.

It had been nearly half an hour since you had set your way across the icy bridge that led to the palace, nothing but the cloak of night to conceal you and your companions. You had studied the palace’s floor plan for months leading up to your mission, but for some reason, during all that time you hadn’t really thought of how difficult it would be to cross this god forsaken bridge. Your feet nearly came out from under you with every step you took, and it was so narrow that the four of you had to walk in a single file line.

Speaking of your companions, the three boys that accompanied you were proving to be an obstacle to your success all on their own.

“Jake, you have to keep up.”

You turned to see Jay, your self-proclaimed “second-in-command,” pulling Jake along by the wrist. The former liked to brag and say that he was among the most elite group in the village, boasting a great air of bravery and courage. However, now that he was actually in the face of danger, he seemed to be the most cowardly out of them all. Sunghoon, the brains of the operation, held up the rear of the group, shaking his head in exasperation at his companions.

You sighed, bringing the group to a halt as you turned to face them, arms crossed over your chest. “I don’t feel as though I should have to remind you, boys, but we’re not here to play,” You said, giving Jake and Jay the heat of your glare. “Jake, if you’re too scared to help out, I suggest you back out now before it’s too late. Oh, and Jay, leave the leading to me, would you?”

While Jay mimicked your voice in the most obnoxious way possible, no doubt completely disregarding what you had just asked of him, Jake ripped his arm free of Jay’s grasp and puffed up his chest. “Me, scared? Oh please, Y/N. I’m flattered that you think about me enough to care, but you’re looking at one of Glacies’ greatest rising legends! The future generations will tell stories about me, no doubt.” He threw you a careless wink, and you had to fight back the impulse to cackle out loud at how ridiculous he looked. “And you’ll get to say you had the pleasure of knowing me. Or perhaps even the pleasure of having courted me as well?”

From where he stood behind him, Sunghoon smacked the back of Jake’s head. That seemed to be enough to shut him up nicely.

“Anyways,” You continued, “We’re losing moonlight. I needn’t remind you of the fact that if we don’t make it out of here with the crown tonight, we’ll likely never get to see justice restored to our kingdom. Understood?”

“Perfectly,” Jay said, his voice strained in forced submission to your authority. You merely rolled your eyes—you were quite used to him and his attitude after spending nearly your entire life with him and the other two that accompanied you.

“She’s right, you know.” Sunghoon spoke for the first time since the four of you had set out on your assignment. You began to move forward again, the rest of the group following close behind. “The palace security is weaker tonight because the crown prince sent an assembly of guards to accompany the prince of Regna Terrae back to his home. The odds of us finding another gap in security like this are—”

“Incredibly slim, yes, we know,” Jake said. “You’ve only told us about twelve dozen times.”

“Maybe if I thought you were actually listening to me, I wouldn’t feel the need to repeat myself so often.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t such a pain in my—”

“Shh.” You held up your hand as you came to a stop again, after having finally set foot off the slippery bridge and onto the snow-covered walkway that led to the huge gates made of solid ice. Some might have tried to simply break through the ice to earn entry to the palace, but you knew better.

This was no regular formation of ice—it was ice forged by the crown’s magic.

You looked around for any sign of stray guards. If your team’s predictions had been correct, the guards would have been switching their stations at this time. You had approximately four minutes and fifty-three seconds to get through the gates before the rotation was settled, so there was no time to lose.

You glanced behind you, noticing that the boys had all replaced their teasing and playful mannerisms with serious gazes hardened by determination. With a single nod from you, everything was set into motion. Jay handed you the rope and hook from his bag, and you wasted no time in tossing it over the gate, pulling it tightly until you were certain that it had successfully latched onto the top. Jake knelt in front of you, folding his hands before extending them towards you. You placed your foot in his hands, waiting for him to give you a boost.

“Are you sure you can do this by yourself?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m positive,” You assured him. “You guys need to head to the far side of the wall and wait for me there. Sunghoon knows what to do if I’m in danger, but everything will be fine. Now hurry up and boost me.”

After a moment longer of hesitation, Jake thrusted his hands up while you jumped up at the same time, reaching out to grab the rope while you planted your feet against the icy gate. You let out a tiny sigh of relief when your feet didn’t slide off or cause you to fall—the boots that Sunghoon had designed to grip the ice were proving to be just as effective as he had claimed. You pulled yourself up the rope, moving as quickly as possible without letting your feet slip.

You soon found yourself perched at the top of the gate, your huff of relief turning into a cloud in the cold air. The view was nothing short of magnificent; fountains with frozen displays of various animals and flora, a grove of trees painted blue with ice and frost, and the castle. If you had the leisure to simply stop and observe the spiraling towers made of crystal ice, the beautiful clouds of eternal snow that remained stationary above the palace, the giant snowflake patterns that were imprinted along each outer wall, you would have stayed there just looking for ages.

But you knew that sightseeing was not on your agenda. When you glanced over your shoulder, you were happy to see that the boys had already left for their station, leaving you on your own. It took you no time to spring into action. You jumped down from the top of the gate, the impact of hitting the ground sending an echo of pain up your legs and to your core, but you quickly shook it off and sprinted towards the outer wall of one of the towers. Your informant from within the palace had sent word that the window you were about to climb into was the best place of entry. It was in a distant hallway that was close enough to the throne room for you to have easy access to the crown, but far enough away from where the guards were stationed that the chance of them being alerted to your entry was small.

You threw your grappling hook up again, this time latching it on the sill of the open window. Without Jake’s boost, it took you a bit longer to climb the rope, but you were no amateur when it came to breaking and entering. Soon enough, you had dropped down into the stairway that lied beyond the window, thanking your lucky stars yet again for Sunghoon and his slip-proof boots.

Your footsteps echoed throughout the walls of ice, and you bit the inside of your cheek, taking care to make your steps as soft as possible. The past months, you had done practically nothing aside from memorize the floorplan of the palace, but you couldn’t help how nervous you were beginning to feel. This was nothing like when you snuck into the kitchen at the local tavern to snatch some food for the hungry kids, or when you broke into the overstock building for the tailors to grab a few winter coats for those who needed them.

This was the castle, and you were there to steal the crown. Not just for your own good, but for the good of everyone else in the Kingdom of Glacies.

When you finally reached the throne room, your heart was practically in your throat. Typically the cool headed one of your band of thieves, this feeling of pure anxiety was something new to you. With a shaky breath to calm your nerves, you peeked around the corner to take a look at what awaited you in the throne room.

There were two thrones at the far end of the room, made of spiraling ice spires and decorated with intricately detailed snowflakes that would never melt. One was a bit taller than the other—the King’s throne, no doubt—while the other didn’t reach quite as high in the air, but that didn’t make it any less marvelous of a sight to behold. The real piece of beauty in the dimly lit room of ice, however, was the pedestal that sat just between the two thrones which held the giant, sparkling crown made of ice and snow.

It was the King’s crown; the bane of every Glacian’s existence. And it just so happened to be what you planned to walk out of the palace with that night.

Stationed right in front of the crown, two guards stood, frozen just like the pillars of ice throughout the room. You bit your lip, growing increasingly worried as you waited for your cue to move in towards the crown.

“Argh! You’ll never catch me, you scum!”

Never before had you wanted to sock Jake in the face so badly as you did in that moment. He had been instructed to create a diversion, but it sounded more like he was a pirate from the Kingdom of Nymphe. His shouts spilled in through the open window right behind the thrones, filling the otherwise silent palace with his voice. If you could have trusted that Sunghoon would have been loud enough to even be heard, you would have asked him to do it instead. He was the only one who even pretended to listen to you.

“What’s that? You think you can chase me down? With those skinny legs? Ha!”

There was a loud bang, and you decided in that moment that when you got back to your village, you would kick Jake out of your team and encourage him to join the theatrics group instead of pursuing this line of work. Not because he was a good or compelling actor, but because he was so outlandishly obnoxious that he would fit right in.

The guards glanced at one another, but neither of them moved from their stations. They probably assumed—or hoped—that someone else would be taking care of the lunatic outside.

Until they heard Jake shout, “Take that!” which was followed by a large crash, and another slew of empty threats. The guards quickly ran out one of the back entrances of the throne room, finally giving you your chance to move forward.

You were light on your feet, not even making a sound as you dashed across the iced floor. With one leap, you skipped up the few steps that led to the crown. It was even more stunning close up, just as alluring as all the stories surrounding it had claimed. Blue jewels frosted over were embedded in the crown, which was made of solid ice, just like the palace that it sat in. The most mesmerizing part about it, however, was the flurry of never-ending snow that surrounded it, as though it were a part of its own atmosphere, separate from the rest of the world.

Your heart stormed within your chest, and you thought it might burst right out of you. Everything you had prepared for had led to this moment, but now that it was finally here, you were beyond terrified. But you were ready.

You stretched your hands out towards the crown, but before you could even feel its icy surface beneath your gloved hands, you felt someone’s body press flush against yours from behind, one arm holding you around your shoulders, and the other pressing the edge of an ice dagger against your throat.

Heart in your stomach, you were silent for a few moments. Someone had caught you. It was over. It was all over. You prayed that Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon had gotten away safely, that only you would have to pay the price for trying to seek justice for your kingdom.

You had practically written your own eulogy in your head when you heard the person speak, their breath tickling the back of your neck as they tightened the ice cold grip they had on you.

“You know, it is wrong to take something that isn’t yours.”

A man’s voice. You could tell right away, and his words made your blood boil. Perhaps you should have bitten your tongue, but you couldn’t keep the venomous words from leaving your mouth.

“It’s not wrong to take back something that was yours to begin with, is it?”

“I’m afraid I’m a bit lost. Does this crown belong to you?”

“It doesn’t just belong to me,” You seethed, “It belongs to every single Glacian, those alive and those who have passed, and I’m here to take it back.”

With that, you quickly snatched the knife from the man’s hand and spun around, pressing the blade against his throat this time, grabbing onto the front of his shirt to hold him in place.

When you saw his face, you knew you were a goner for sure.

Piercing blue eyes, a sharp jawline, blonde hair so light, it was almost white. His skin seemed to be made of ice, and his lips were set in an amused grin, one of his perfectly shaped brows arched upward.

You were holding the edge of a dagger against the neck of Kang Taehyun, the Ice Prince himself.

With the simple flick of his wrist, the dagger in your hand dissolved into snow, falling from your grasp in an instant.

His eyes drew you in and he held you with his gaze; frozen, unable to move, a fistful of his white sleepshirt still held within your fist. Your imagination began to run wild as you tried to predict what would happen next. Based off of what you had heard about the prince, you expected him to turn you to ice right then and there, perhaps preserving you in his room full of iced prisoners that he was rumored to have, or maybe he would just shatter you to bits and pieces right away, like a glass smashed against a stone floor.

You decided to take your last shot at doing what you had gone there to do.

You quickly shook yourself from the prince’s grip, pushing him back onto the icy floor. When he no longer had a hold on you, you lunged towards the crown, hearing Taehyun shout, “Wait!” before the tips of your fingers barely touched one of the crown’s jewels. When you made contact with the crown, you felt a sharp pain in your neck, and with great force, you were thrown back onto the ice, landing right next to the prince himself.

The pain was spreading from your neck to the rest of your body, like frost creeping up blades of grass. You pressed your hand against your neck and couldn’t hold back a gasp when you saw blood covering your palm.

Before you knew it, Taehyun was leaning over you, gently cupping your neck in his hands. You closed your eyes, certain that he was about to strangle you for your vain attempt at destroying the crown. His fingers were like icicles against your skin; smooth, strong, and deathly cold.

But he didn’t strangle you. He didn’t even squeeze your neck or try to block your airways at all. Instead, he lightly brushed his cold fingers over your skin. As he did so, you could feel the pain melt from your body.

“There you go,” He said softly. He helped you back to your feet, and you opened your eyes, pressing your hand against the place where your wound had been just moments before. There was not a trace of blood left in sight.

“What was that?” You whispered, holding Taehyun’s gaze.

Before he could answer, you heard three familiar voices fill the chilly throne room. With eyes round as saucers, you peeked over the Prince’s shoulder to see Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay being dragged in by not one, two, or even three—but five palace guards. Where said guards had even come from, you had not a clue.

There was, however, one thing you knew for sure: your plan had failed, and the price of failure was going to be your life.

Or at least, you thought it would be, before the prince saved you.

You swallowed, wishing that you could have at least seen your companions walk free. This whole mission was your idea, after all. You alone should have been held responsible for the failure. Heart racing, you grasped at endless threads of half-strung ideas that wove in and out of your mind, trying desperately to figure out some way to save the boys.

“Please,” you said, your eyes meeting Taehyun’s, “Let them go. I drug them here; they have nothing to do with this. You can turn me to ice, kill me, do whatever it is that you desire. Just let them go, please.”

“Y/N, don’t,” Sunghoon said firmly, but you ignored him, keeping your eyes fixated on the prince.

Taehyun’s eyes softened, his brows knitting together, almost as if he were hurt by your pleas. He was being just as cautious as you were—perhaps even more so. “I have no intentions of harming you or your friends, my lady. In fact, the desires of my heart are quite the opposite of what you assume them to be.”

You raised a brow. “Please, enlighten me of your true intentions then, Ice Prince.”

“I want to help you.”

“Oh, come on,” Jay groaned. You shot a glare that would freeze any normal man, but alas, Jay was far from normal, so he continued to speak. “Y/N, don’t listen to a word this prick says. If he wanted to help his people, he would have done so by now.”

Although you wanted to cut out his tongue from how annoyed you were by Jay’s habit to speak up during the most inappropriate times, you knew that your friend had a point. The people of Glacies had been driven to desolation and poverty by the late king’s actions, while in your eyes, the rest of the royal family did nothing but sit idly by and watch it all happen.

But you had just seen a side of the prince that was entirely different from every story you had ever been told about him. When your life was on the line, he didn’t kill you or laugh mercilessly as he watched the life leave your body. He had saved you.

Taehyun turned to face your friends, and you felt your heart leap into your throat. The prince motioned for the guards to release their holds on your friends. They did as they were told, and the three boys were much too shocked by Taehyun’s instructions to do anything but stand there, frozen, keeping their eyes glued to the prince as he spoke once more.

“I understand why you’re here,” He said, glancing over his shoulder at the crown. He locked eyes with you for a split second before he looked back at the boys. “I want the same thing you do. But I’m afraid that there’s no way for you to achieve your goal by simply taking the crown. It’s far more complicated.”

“What do you mean you ‘want the same thing’ we do?” Jake finally spoke after regaining some sensibility—though he never had all that much to begin with, in your opinion. “Do you even truly know what we are here for?”

“You want to destroy the crown and restore the kingdom to its former state of balance,” Taehyun said. “Am I correct?”

“It’s not just that,” Sunghoon finally spoke up, his cool, calculating eyes drifting between you and Taehyun, as if he expected the prince to turn around and attack you at any given moment. “We want to undo all the pain and suffering your family has caused us. Do you even know how desolate your people have become while you’ve wasted away in your palace for the past two decades, Your Highness?”

Taehyun frowned, casting his eyes down to his feet. “I’m well aware. I know it may not look like it, but I’ve been doing everything I can to help reverse the pain my family has caused our kingdom. But I realized that I can’t do it alone.”

He turned to face you then, and you were surprised to find yourself drawn to his piercing eyes rather than being struck down by fear. His gaze was urgent, but it was gentle.

“I need you to help me.”

“No. Absolutely not.” You tore your eyes from Taehyun to glare at Jake, who had decided once again to speak out of turn. “Y/N, you can’t trust him! Don’t do it.”

You knew where Jake was coming from, but you couldn’t help but feel as though Taehyun was telling the truth. And even if the prince were lying, you would probably never have the chance to get this close to the crown again. Even then, it was clearly impossible for you to touch the crown, as you had nearly died trying to do so just moments before.

You had no choice. You were going to stay with Taehyun.

“I just have one condition,” You said, ignoring the objections that flew from the lips of your friends. “You let them go. Now.”

“Of course,” Taehyun said without a moment’s hesitation. “I have no intentions of keeping anyone here against their will. Yourself included. But if you truly want to destroy the crown, I need you to stay with me. Just for a few days.”

You nodded, keeping your eyes trained on his. “Alright. But the moment I sense that you’re lying to me, Your Highness, not even the four princes of the surrounding kingdoms will be able to save you from my wrath. Understood?”

Perhaps you were just seeing things, but you could have sworn that you saw the prince smile when he said, “Perfectly.”

WHEN YOU WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING, THERE WAS A NOTE ON YOUR BEDSIDE TABLE.

Well, it wasn’t your bedside table, but rather the one in the bedroom Taehyun had lent to you for the duration of your stay. The night before, against all their complaints, you had sent Jake, Jay, and Sunghoon back to the village with instructions to search for you if you didn’t return in a week’s time. After they had left, you wanted to talk to Taehyun right away, but he had disappeared from your sight, leaving you with a guard who said that the Prince had gone to bed, and that you were encouraged to do so as well.

You stretched your arms above your head, squinting in the morning sunlight that slipped through the curtains, and picked up the note from the table.

I hope you found the room suitable for resting. When you wake, put something on from the closet in your room then come to the dining hall for breakfast, if you’d like. One of the maids will escort you there.

—Taehyun

You sighed, folding the note up and setting it back on the table. After another good stretch, your feet met the cold floor and you slumped over to the large closet, throwing the doors open. Your eyes were met with dresses in varying lengths and shades of blues and periwinkles, and shoes to match them all. A great sigh left you at the sight—you did not wear dresses. But the pants and shirt you had come to the palace in were caked with mud and sweat, so you had no choice but to change, and it wasn’t like you had many options.

Begrudgingly, you searched through all the hanging gowns, finally settling on a long sleeved, ankle-length frosty blue dress made of lace that held subtle snowflake patterns throughout the skirt. It was the most practical looking one amidst all the others, but you still found yourself already growing annoyed at the lack of freedom you felt in the skirt. You put on the pair of shoes that went along with the gown and stopped by the mirror, running your hands through your tangled hair before you finally stepped out of the bedroom.

A maid was waiting outside the door, just as Taehyun had said she would be. You followed her down the stairs of ice, hugging your arms across your chest as you shivered from the cold.

“I know this is the Ice Prince’s palace, but does it have to be so cold?” You asked, your teeth chattering. There was no response from the maid as you went down the last flight of stairs and found yourself walking into a large dining room, with a glass table in the center of the room and a dozen chairs surrounding it. The floor was frosted over, and snowflakes fell from the ceiling, though they melted away as soon as they hit the floor. Only the seat at the head of the table was occupied—Taehyun sat there, dressed nicely in a dark blue suit, his hair parted neatly to the side. He smiled when he saw you, motioning for you to take the seat beside of him.

You sat down slowly, taking great care to cross your legs so you didn’t accidentally expose too much of yourself. Taehyun eyed you curiously as you reached for the cup of tea that a servant had sat down for you.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be a little bit uncomfortable,” He said, sliding a plate of fruits and breakfast pastries towards you. You accepted them gratefully, noticing just how hungry you were now that you could smell food. “Is it because of the dress?”

You nodded, swallowing the grape you had tossed into your mouth before responding. “Dresses were not meant to be worn by thieves, Your Highness.”

He hummed, leaning back in his chair. “I’m not sure if I would classify you as a thief, my lady. I personally find the term ‘vigilante’ more suitable.”

You paused, the piece of chocolate bread that you had pinched off frozen halfway to your mouth. You set it down, narrowing your eyes at Taehyun. “What do you know about me?”

He smiled, taking a sip from his own teacup. “I know what I’ve heard. You are Y/N, the greatest thief throughout all of Glacies—some would even say throughout all the Five Kingdoms. You know this kingdom like the palm of your hand, and you’re extremely good at not getting caught. Unless, of course, you find yourself in my home.”

You scowled, looking away from him as your cheeks grew warm.

He laughed for a moment, but his tone grew quieter when he spoke again. “I also know that you almost never steal for self-gain. You take for yourself what is necessary for survival, but the rest of your plunders go to the starving and impoverished people of our kingdom. You take from those who have more than enough and give to those who having nothing at all.”

To say you were speechless would have been an understatement. You were under the impression that the prince despised his people, just as his father and grandfather had before him. But now you were to believe that he knew of your existence, long before you had even made an attempt to steal the crown?

You poked at the food on your plate, your appetite suddenly gone as your mind churned with questions.

“Well, since you seem to know so much about me, allow me to inquire about yourself, Your Highness,” you said, setting your fork down and folding your hands in your lap.

He nodded with unabashed enthusiasm, scooting forward in his seat. “Of course. Ask me anything.”

You held up three fingers. “I have three questions. One—what happened when I tried to touch the crown last night?”

“Ah,” he said, tapping his fingers against the table. “Well, as you’re well aware, my grandfather channeled all of the kingdom’s magic into that crown. It’s the most powerful object throughout all the kingdom.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m here.”

He nodded, pressing his lips together. “Well, when my grandfather had the great spell cast upon the crown, it also came with a protective curse. Only those with royal blood flowing through their veins are able to touch the crown, and anyone else who attempts to do so . . . well.” He gestured to your neck, where the magic cut had sliced through your skin. “You saw what happens.”

“And you have healing powers, apparently,” you said, running your hands against the smooth skin of your neck, double checking just to make sure that no trace of the injury was left there.

“Not exactly. Because all of the kingdom’s magic is held within the crown, I have access to all the ice magic in the kingdom,” Taehyun explained. “Healing just happens to be one of those powers, among ice manipulation, the ability to turn things into ice, control of the snowstorms, the power to generate snowstorms, the power to plant things in frozen ground. . . you get the picture, I assume. Because of the overwhelming amount of capabilities I’ve been granted due to my grandfather’s spell, I’m not sure what my actual ability is.”

You nodded once, slowly, trying to keep up with the influx of information. You put one of your fingers down, then said, “Question two. I know you’re the Ice Prince, but why in all the five kingdoms is it absolutely freezing in here? Can’t we start a fire or something for a bit of warmth?”

Taehyun laughed, although you struggled to see what was so funny as a shiver went up your spine. “Another lovely perk of the crown’s magic; because my entire being is so reliant upon its powers, I’m quite weak on my own. My body temperature can’t go above a certain degree, or I’ll perish. So I’m afraid we must keep it quite cold in here for the time being.”

“It seems like this crown is doing you more harm than good,” You muttered, slightly disappointed by his answer as you were hoping to garner a bit of extra warmth. You shook it off, putting another finger down and leaving only one remaining up in the air. “Last question. Why do you want to help us, and why am I the right person to help you?”

“That’s two questions in one, isn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes, and Taehyun quickly wiped the teasing smirk off his face, his expression growing grim as he prepared to answer your final question—or questions, as the prince had been so kind to point out.

“I know it doesn’t compare to the pain that the rest of our people have gone through—yourself included—but the crown’s spell has done more harm than good for my family as well,” Taehyun said.

“How so?” You asked.

“As I explained before, those of us with royal blood are incredibly reliant upon the crown,” he began. “Because of this, we aren’t able to be far from it, or we become incredibly weak, and eventually, we will die.”

Your eyes went wide at that, your mind racing. You hadn’t thought of the possibility that the crown could be harming the royal family at all, especially not in such a deadly way. “So, have you never left the palace?”

He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “Not even once.” He sighed, bringing his eyes back up to yours. “My sister left us, a few years after my grandfather died and a few years before my father passed. She fell in love with the stable boy, and they decided to run away. At the time, we knew that we would become weak without the crown. But we didn’t know how weak we would be. Two weeks after their great escape, the stable boy returned. And my sister. . . she was dead. My father had the stable boy put to death immediately upon his return.”

You covered your mouth with your hand, stifling the gasp that threatened to slip past your lips. The royal family was so isolated from the rest of the kingdom, that none of you had even heard of the princess’ passing.

“So then, you’ve been alone all this time, since your father passed?” You asked, your voice quiet and careful.

He nodded, his eyes shining with tears that never fell. “Correct. And that is why, now more than ever, I want to reconnect with the people my family has driven to desolation. I know how harmful it has been for our kingdom since we have kept all of the magic to ourselves. You haven’t been able to farm, to use the magic for yourselves, or even turn the ice into water for necessary use. By hoarding all the magic to ourselves, we have forced our people into poverty. I want to right what we have done wrong. And that is where you come in, my lady.”

“That’s the second part of my last question,” You said, pushing your plate back so you could lean forward against the table. “Why do you need my help?”

He smiled, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes, the action so rushed you had barely registered its occurrence. “I’ve spent the past two years studying the origins of the spell on the crown. There’s supposedly a cave near the border between Glacies and Terrae where my grandfather traveled to have the spell cast, and in order to break the spell, I have to take it back there. And, according to my sources, nobody in the land knows their way around the caves quite as well as you do.”

“I’m flattered, although I am quite curious to know who’s been saying such kind words about me behind my back,” you said, wishing you knew who Taehyun had been in communication with that would know of your occupation and skillsets. “So, what I am gathering is this; you want me to guide you to this cave and help you break the spell in order to finally have the magic distributed back into the kingdom?”

“Precisely. Only if you are willing to do so, of course.”

It was your turn to smile then as you stood to your feet, extending your hand towards him for a shake. “You needn’t ask me twice, Your Highness. When do we leave?”

He stood as well, his smile mirroring your own as he took your hand in his and shook it. “We head out first thing tomorrow morning, my lady. Until then, let us prepare. Together.”

YOU AWOKE THE NEXT MORNING TO THE SOUND OF A CRACKLING FIRE.

Beneath your face was something warm and soft, but not quite as soft as the pillow you had slept upon the night before. When your eyes fluttered open, you were surprised to see that you had fallen asleep in the drawing room, the map you and Taehyun had spent all day studying spread out on the table before you, and your head resting upon his shoulder.

You quickly sat up, brushing your hands through your hair in an attempt to fix the wild strands. Taehyun was already awake, smiling at you as you looked away, cheeks growing warm.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked. It was still early in the morning—so early that the sun had not even risen yet, leaving the room bathed in the predawn darkness.

You shrugged, daring to look back at him only to see him smirking at you in the dark. “Well enough, I suppose,” you mumbled, your eyes finally landing on the source of the sound you had awoken to. In the corner of the room, Taehyun had gathered a pile of logs and started a small fire atop them, casting a soft orange glow upon the room made of ice. You gasped, turning back towards the prince. Beads of sweat were rolling down his forehead and cheeks, and you noticed that his breaths were much more labored than they had been before.

“Taehyun, what are you thinking?” You asked, grabbing his arm firmly. “Go put that out. Now.”

“You were shivering,” He said, refusing to let his eyes meet yours. “I didn’t want to see you suffer. It’s the least I could do after all you have been through because of us—if I can suffer in your place, I will do so gladly.”

You sighed in exasperation, grasping his hand in your own. He looked at you then, eyes wide from the unexpected contact. “Your Highness, you have been doing everything within your power so far to right what has been wrong for so long. I refuse to let you blame yourself and cause yourself any form of pain for something that has always been out of your control. In order for us to finish this, we must do so together. Now, go put that fire out or I will be forced to find a way to do it myself. And I will have you know that my methods are not usually the safest.”

He sighed, finally giving in as he raised his hand, a gust of icy wind blowing past your face and killing the fire on the far side of the room. You sighed in relief, giving his hand a squeeze before you let it go.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I do not feel as though I deserve your kindness nor your understanding, but I am grateful to be receiving it regardless.”

“Everyone deserves kindness and understanding, Your Highness. Especially you.”

After that, the two of you grabbed a quick breakfast from the dining hall and gathered all your supplies from the drawing room before you threw on a thick cloak, allowing Taehyun to lead you out into the snow and to the stables. He introduced you to the reindeer named Atlas that would be pulling your sled, and then led you into the stable where the sled was stored in order for the two of you to finish gathering a few last-minute supplies before you were to head out on your quest.

While Taehyun began throwing things into the back of the sled, you became distracted by a wall strung with weaponry. A quiver of arrows caught your eye, and you reached up to pull a single arrow out, observing it closely.

“This looks like something Jake would be interested in,” you mused, twirling the arrow between your fingertips before you set it back in its place. “He’s been trying to improve his archery.”

Perhaps it was your imagination, but when you looked back at Taehyun, you could have sworn you saw his smile falter, at least for a moment. He shook it off though, throwing a sack of food into the back of the sled before he asked, “So, you and this Jake guy. How long have you been courting?”

You nearly choked on the stable’s air, throwing your hand against your chest in shock. “I’m sorry, what?”

He raised a brow, turning to face you fully. “You are courting him, aren’t you? He seemed to be concerned for you in a way that went deeper than friendship, from what I was able to observe.”

“Oh, please. Jake flirts with anyone who even bats an eye in his direction. We are not in a relationship.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the mere thought. “The only time I ever touch that man is when I’m trying to slap some sense into him—and I mean that quite literally.”

Taehyun laughed, almost as though he were relieved, while he began to tighten the reins that kept Atlas anchored to the sled. “Would you ever consider courting him? If he asked you to, of course.”

“He has asked, and I’ve never considered saying anything other than no.” You picked up the pile of blankets one of the servants had left by the sled and lifted it over the edge, making sure they landed right in the middle of the bench where the two of you were to be seated. “He is not my type.”

Taehyun leaned back against the sled, the slight smirk you had grown accustomed to seeing taking over his features once again. “Well, what exactly is your type, my lady?”

You went still, not sure why his question made your stomach flutter like a disturbed nest of bluebirds. You had never really given this much thought before, but now that he had asked you, your mind was instantly flooded with thoughts of cold hands and warm smiles, icy eyes and flushed cheeks, strong arms and gentle words.

You turned away from him before you spoke, trying your best to be nonchalant. “I think I’d like to find someone that I understand more than anyone else. Somebody that the rest of world may see as cold and brittle, but someone I know to be warm and soft on the inside.”

When there was nothing but silence after your words, you dared to glance back over your shoulder at the prince. Upon doing so, you were more than a little bit happy to see that you had made him just as flustered as he had made you, with his cheeks and nose painted cherry red—and not just from the cold.

He cleared his throat, biting his lip to keep his smile from being too obvious. “Good to know. If I ever meet someone who I think would meet those standards, I’ll be sure to send them your way.”

“Oh, please do,” You said, glad that the tense silence was thawing. “And quickly if you don’t mind. The elders in my community remind me at every passing chance that my childbearing years will be over before I know it, since that’s apparently all that matters.”

That earned an even bigger laugh from him, which caused to you giggle in return. When he smiled at you again, you couldn’t help but lose yourself in his eyes. But who could blame you when they sparkled like freshly fallen snow beneath the morning sunlight?

“I’ll keep that in mind, my lady.” He hoisted himself into the sled and extended his hand out towards you, his brilliant smile never once falling from his face as he said, “Now, what do you say we go and restore this kingdom to its former glory? I believe it’s long overdue.”

THE SLEIGH RIDE THROUGH THE KINGDOM HAD BEEN FAIRLY PEACEFUL, FOR THE MOST PART. Taehyun had the reins and was guiding Atlas through the snow-capped mountains while you held the map and directed him, although you could practically navigate your way throughout the kingdom with your eyes closed, no doubt.

The scenery was beautiful in some ways. Trees weighed down by ice coated branches, casting rainbows across the ground as the sunshine reflected through them. The deep snow covered the ground, coating the entire landscape in a blanket of endless white. You sighed, perhaps a bit too loudly as you gained Taehyun’s attention.

“What could possibly be weighing so heavy on your mind to earn such a heavy sigh, my lady?”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that took over your lips at his jest. “I’m just tired of all the ice, I suppose. It’s so suffocating. It kills all the beautiful things and leaves us with nothing in return but cold.”

“That’s not how I see it though,” Taehyun said, holding onto the reins with one hand so he could keep the other around your shoulders, making sure you didn’t fall out of the sled as you crossed over a particularly bumpy patch of ground.

“What do you mean?” You asked, willing your expression to remain steadfast lest you reveal how flustered you were by Taehyun’s physical contact.

He smirked, and you cursed yourself internally, knowing that perhaps the faint flush in your cheeks had given you away after all.

“I mean, I see the ice as more of a new beginning than an ending,” He explained. “Of course, it does freeze everything over for a while, but it thaws eventually. And when it does, everything starts all over again. The rivers start running, the flowers begin to bloom, the animals come out of their sleep. Everything begins again, until it is time to freeze once more.”

“Well, that sounds nice in theory, my dear prince, but I am afraid there’s something you are forgetting,” You said.

“And what is that?”

“This is the Kingdom of Glacies. Well, the version your grandfather created, that is.” The smile fell from your lips. “The ice here never thaws.”

“Maybe the kingdom is still waiting for its new beginning,” He said. Gently, he grabbed your chin and turned your face towards his. He smiled then, the action alone so bright and warm, you were surprised the snow didn’t melt right off the trees.

“The kingdom may still be waiting for its new beginning,” He whispered, “But I think I have found mine.”

You were speechless. Never in a million different lifetimes would you have even dared to imagine the Prince of Glacies saying such sweet words to you. Unsure of how to respond, you cleared your throat and looked away, afraid your face would melt right off at this rate. You heard the sound of rushing water not too far off, and you glanced over to see a small spring beneath a gentle waterfall.

“We should stop there to let Atlas drink,” you suggested, leaning forward to pet the back of the reindeer. “It would be nice for us to stretch our legs too.”

Taehyun obliged, leading Atlas over towards the spring. You were more than happy to jump out from the back of the sled and stretch your legs, and the view was nothing short of spectacular. As you drew closer to the border between Glacies and Terrae, there were a few patches of green grass peeking through the snow, and some bodies of water—like this spring—were unfrozen. Seeing the rushing body of water made you think of what Taehyun had said to you just moments ago, and you felt your heart flutter once again.

You nearly flinched in shock when you felt him slip his fingers between yours, gripping your hand tightly.

He smiled, running his thumb along the back of your hand. “Care to go for a stroll?”

You nodded, deciding to push past your nervous feelings by taking the lead and pulling him along behind you. You were both quiet as you walked, taking careful steps over the snowy grass and onto the rocks that led up towards the waterfall. When you reached the fall, you stuck your hand beneath it. It was cold, of course, but you were mesmerized by how it sparkled, dots of the afternoon sun shining through the beads of water. The pressure of the waterfall was fairly low—no stronger than a drizzle of rain. The water first hit the slab of stone that the two of you were standing on before it cascaded down into another, smaller waterfall, which led into the spring that Atlas was drinking from.

“Do you like it here?” Taehyun asked, watching the way your eyes glowed as you let the water fall between your fingers.

You looked back at him, smiling brightly. “I love it. Don’t you?”

He nodded, glancing up at the falls then back at you. “It’s beautiful.”

He looked down at your hand in his for a moment, and then he gently tugged on it, causing to stumble a few steps closer to him. You raised a brow, clearly confused, but didn’t pull away.

“How about here?” He asked.

You nodded slowly, narrowing your eyes. “Sure. I like it here as well.”

He swallowed, gathering all the courage from every corner of his soul before he took a step forward, closing the gap between the two of you, his free hand coming up to cradle your jaw while he kept the other tightly intertwined with your own.

Your eyes were wide, lips parted in shock, but you made no moves to distance yourself from him. Slowly, he brushed his thumb along your bottom lip, lowering his face towards yours so that he could feel your breath against his own mouth.

“And here?” He whispered, his eyes meeting yours. “Do you like it here?”

When you nodded once again in answer to his hushed question, he wasted no time in diminishing the space left between the two of you to gently press his lips against your own.

His lips worked against yours perfectly as you allowed your eyes to fall shut, letting your hand fall from his grasp so you could hold his neck in your palms, your fingers slipping into the hair at the nape of his neck. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into him as his kiss grew deeper and you followed along, tilting your head to better match your lips with the pace of his.

When he pulled away from you abruptly and rested his forehead against your shoulder, you knew right away that something was wrong. He was breathing deeply, his hands clutching the fabric of your dress. You cupped his cheeks in your hands and lifted his face to yours, seeing how red his cheeks, nose, and ears had gotten.

“Taehyun? What’s wrong?”

He let out a shaky breath, his eyes still closed, his chest still heaving. “I’m—I’m sorry. I can’t kiss you, it’s too—I’m getting too warm.”

Your heart sank as you continued to hold his face in your hands, racking your brain for ideas. The sound of the waterfall rushing behind you filled your ears, and you glanced over your shoulder, biting your lip as an idea popped into your head.

Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, you carefully walked backwards until you felt the ice cold water cascade over your head and down your back, stopping once you and Taehyun were both standing fully beneath the waterfall.

His eyes were wide, and he was slowly beginning to stand up straighter, his face growing less and less warm beneath your skin as the moments passed by.

“What are you doing?” He asked, nearly shouting to be heard above the light rush of water.

You smiled, pushing back pieces of his hair that the water had plastered to his forehead, only for them to fall right back into place.

“Why would you ask a question with such an obvious answer, Your Highness? I’m about to kiss you.”

He seemed to be in shock, but before he could utter out a single word in reply, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him once more beneath the cascade of icy water, the feeling of his lips against your own giving you more than enough warmth in the core of your soul.

IT DIDN’T TAKE YOU LONG TO REACH THE CAVE WHERE THE LATE KING HAD FIRST CAST THE SPELL THAT RUINED THE LAND OF GLACIES. You had set back out on the road shortly after your somewhat extended rest stop, and by following the map closely, you arrived at the mouth of a cave with icicles hanging from the top and also sticking up from the ground. It looked much like the mouth of a great beast. It was too dangerous to try and bring Atlas inside with you, so Taehyun tied him and the sled to a nearby tree. He grabbed the bag that held the crown inside of it in one hand and then made his way to your side.

“Are you ready?” Whether his question was directed towards you or himself, you couldn’t be sure. Regardless, you took his hand in yours and gave it a squeeze.

“I am ready when you are, Your Highness.”

He smiled before he took the first step into the cave, carefully sliding between two spires of ice and gently pulling you along behind him. The cave didn’t go on for very long, and there was no need for you to bring a lantern along with you, as the daylight that spilled in through the entrance was more than enough to light your way.

When you reached the end of the shallow cave, a large pedestal made of stone was waiting for you. It was surrounded by a perfectly round back wall, with ancient texts inscribed on the walls. You weren’t able to decipher them, but you made your way towards the pedestal, your hand still locked with Taehyun’s.

A large black scorch mark in the shape of a sharp snowflake tainted the surface of the pedestal. Atop it rested a tattered and torn piece of tan paper, also written in a language you were unable to read. You slowly picked it up and handed it to Taehyun. “Can you read this?”

He nodded, squinting his eyes a bit before he read the words written on the page.

“To seize the power given to all, you must first destroy the treasure within. To restore the treasure within your soul, you must then destroy your everything.”

As soon as the words had left Taehyun’s lift, a violent, howling wind burst through the room. It blew with so much force that your hand was ripped from Taehyun’s, and you were thrown back against the stone wall of the cave. Taehyun was blown to the side opposite of you, and the crown fell from his grasp, landing near your feet. For some reason, the crown didn’t seem to be affected by the wind, as it remained stationary.

“What’s going on?” You shouted, gripping at a spire of ice nearby to keep from being blown right out of the cave. Bits of sleet and snow were pricking at your skin, the chilling air feeling sharper than the blade of ice Taehyun had held against your neck just days before.

“I don’t know,” He shouted back, gripping a rock that protruded from his side of the cave. “We need to decipher what was written down on that paper—that must be how we are to break the spell!”

The words scribbled onto the page flashed through your mind.

To seize the power given to all, you must first destroy the treasure within. This was obviously referring to the spell itself—the one cast by Taehyun’s grandfather. In order to steal the magic from the rest of his subjects, he had to sacrifice the most valuable power of all—his humanity.

To restore the treasure within your soul, you must then destroy your everything.

What had been everything to the late king?

His power.

His crown.

“Taehyun!” You shouted, daring to hold on to the spire with one hand in order to point at the crown by your feet, which still remained unmoving amidst the magical storm. “The crown—you must destroy it!”

He tried to stand, but was instantly knocked back on his rear, desperately grasping back onto the rock that kept him anchored. “I cannot make it over there to retrieve it!”

You bit your lip, glancing between Taehyun and the crown only for a moment before you made up your mind. You knew what you had to do.

“Y/N,” Taehyun warned, catching on to what you were about to do. “Y/N, don’t—!”

It was too late. You used your boot to pull the crown towards you before you grasped it in your fist. Pain shot through every inch of your being—beginning in your neck, then spreading through your chest and your legs, to the tips of your fingers and the bottoms of your toes, piercing through you like the sharpest bite of frost. You cried out in pain, over the noise of Taehyun screaming for you to put it down, before you mustered up every last bit of strength within you to lurch the crown towards the prince.

He caught it with one hand, his heart racing as he saw you fall limp to the ground, the wind battering and blowing your unconscious form around like a lone leaf in the winter’s wind. Tears stung at the back of his eyes, and he glared at the crown in his fist, all the anger and resentment he had felt towards his grandfather over all the years combined with the fear of losing you coming to a peak within him. He channeled every bit of these hostile and fearful emotions into the palm of his hand, where a burst of ice so strong was emitted that it covered the room in a blanket of white, the crown first cracking in his hand before it burst into a million shards, scattering all over the cave floor like pieces of glass.

The storm died out immediately, and Taehyun felt a rush of energy enter into his body. He felt stronger, healthier, warmer. But none of that mattered to him. Not when you were nearly lifeless on the other side of the cave.

“Y/N!” He shouted, tripping over his own feet as he sprinted towards you. He collapsed to the ground beside of you, gasping at the sight of blood dripping down your neck and seeping through your clothes.

“No, no, no,” he whimpered, the tears finally slipping down his cheeks as his hands pressed against your wounds, but there were too many of them for him to cover.

Desperate, he let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He knew that he no longer had access to all the powers he once did now that the spell was broken. There was no way for him to know if his healing magic was his true form of magic.

But he had to try.

At first, when he tried to omit the soft glow of icy power from his palms, nothing happened. But then, he felt a familiar tickling sensation on the surface of his skin. He opened one eye, then the other, nearly breaking down in sobs of relief as he watched gentle trails of frost travel down your skin, closing all your wounds and erasing any traces of them that would normally be left behind.

When the last cut had disappeared, your eyes fluttered open, and you smiled at him.

“Well done, your highness. You’ve broken the curse.”

He grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you upright, crushing you against him in a hug.

“Never do anything like that ever again,” He muttered against your ear, squeezing you even tighter. “I thought I lost you.”

“You cannot get rid of me that easily, Your Highness,” you teased, pulling away just enough so you could look into his eyes. “Besides, I knew that healing magic was your true gift. I knew you would save me.”

“And how exactly did you know that, my lady?”

You pecked him on the nose, giggling at how red it turned afterwards. “Because you are a kind and good prince, Taehyun. And you will make a wonderful, healing king.”

“What about you?” He asked. “We should see what ice power you have been gifted.”

You hesitated, gently holding one of your hands out in front of you. Your brows knit together, and Taehyun laughed at the expression before he placed his hand beneath yours.

“Feel the energy running through your veins,” He said. “Let the magic guide you.”

Nothing happened for the first few moments. But then, one by one, snowflakes began to fall, seemingly from out of nowhere. Soon, you held a tiny snowstorm in the palm of your hand. You gasped, eyes glowing with excitement.

“It worked,” You said, staring at what you had created in awe before you allowed it to die down. You then cupped his cheeks in your hands, leaning closer towards him.

“How does it feel to finally be free? What is the first thing you would like to do now?” You asked.

He couldn’t take his eyes from your face, his thumbs tracing invisible lines across your cheeks and your jaw, occasionally slipping over your lips. “The first thing? Simple; I want to make you my queen.”

You coughed, but remained fairly unphased by his forwardness as you responded with, “Although that is something you could have done without breaking the spell, I am quite fond of the idea. Yet, I have one even better than that—how about we instead dissolve the monarchy together?”

He laughed at that, brushing his hands through your hair before cradling your jaw once more. “One step at a time, princess. We can talk about that later. But what about you? What are you most excited about now that the kingdom has been restored?”

You smiled then, not having to take long at all to think of your answer. “As wonderful as having newfound magical abilities may be, my prince, the most wonderful thing about breaking this spell is that I am now able to kiss you wherever I please—without having to stand beneath a freezing waterfall.”

This time, when you leaned forward to capture his lips with yours, Taehyun gladly welcomed the warmth that rushed to his cheeks. And as he kissed you, he was sure that all the warmth that spread throughout him was enough to heat the entire kingdom, so much so that he dared to imagine that the eternal ice of the Kingdom of Glacies would finally begin to thaw.

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angelicyoongie · 5 years ago

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the crimson shell

— pairing: jungkook x f!reader — genre: mermaid au, yandere au — w.c: 1.9k — warnings: mild stalking, near drowning, mentions of eating humans — notes: just wanted to contribute something to mermay! this is also my first time attempting to do anything in the realms of yandere (and mermaids!), so pls be nice lol. in this universe everyone is referred to as a mermaid, no matter what gender they are. this will most likely be a two or three part series with jk growing more and more obsessed as he gets y/n into his scaly clutches :)

Part I / II / III / IIII

— summary: you had always found comfort in being at the beach, often spending hours just watching the waves lap against the shore. but unbeknowst to you – something had been watching you back.

You inhale deeply, enjoying the salty smell that so uniquely belongs to the ocean. The last rays of sun are slowly disappearing behind the horizon, painting the skies and the waves in hues of deep pink and purple. You’re going to miss this view.

You sigh, running your fingers through the coarse sand as you let the gentle breeze caress your face. You’ve been looking forward to this for years, but now that your departure is so imminent, it feels more scary than liberating. The time has come to finally leave your home behind, and you feel a pang of regret as you realize you might not see your friends or family for a very long time to come.

Years of saving up your measly paychecks have finally paid off, and you’re setting sail for an island you’ve been hearing constant murmurs about for the last few months. Originally, you were only going to travel to the next kingdom over, hoping to find more suitable work there to help your parents stay afloat. But the talk of the mystery island abundant with riches piped your interest more than you would like to admit – and you’ve never been one to shy away from adventure.

However, you weren’t stupid enough to just blindly trust the rumours milling around your little town. In fact, you wholeheartedly believed it to be a scam until a familiar face suddenly turned up in the town square only a few weeks ago.

You hadn’t seen Jimin ever since he set sail for the unknown six months ago; and so everyone, including yourself, had presumed that your talkative neighbour had met an ill fate, and was floating at the bottom of the sea. You realized you couldn’t have been more wrong when Jimin returned with riches you never expected you would ever lay eyes on, his whole body adorned with various diamonds and gold chains.

It was Jimin who had urged you to seek out the same island, saying he barely even took a handful of all the treasures that were there. He had warned you about a price that would need to be paid, but you weren’t all that concerned. If a sea witch wanted your first born, then fine, you weren’t too keen on children anyway.

You busy yourself with drawing patterns in the sand, lost in your own thoughts as you try to remember your little mental checklist of all the things you wanted to see before you left tomorrow morning. You’re pretty sure this beach was the last one. It’s not much; just a short stretch of sand at the edge of the hill leading up to your family’s cottage, but it has always felt like home.

You come here every evening without fail, using the time to relax and breathe. The last month has felt a little different though, even if you don’t like to admit it. You’ve always stayed on the beach quite late, there’s nothing you know of that can rival the starry sky that appears once the sun had set. But lately, you’ve found yourself retreating back up the hill before the night could fully greet you.

It feels like you’re being watched.

It’s silly of course, considering the only thing in front of you is the quiet ocean. You would have noticed if there was something there, but still, you can’t seem to shake the feeling that something is out there – observing you.

It always happens so suddenly; one second you’ll be merely enjoying the view, and in the next, a sense of dread would knock into you so hard it left you breathless. It would make your neck feel tight, as if someone was gripping your skin, and the hair on your arms would rise in alarm.

Even just the memory is enough to give you goosebumps, and you let out an annoyed huff at how easily you seem to be able to scare yourself. You dust the sand off your hands before you rub them up and down your arms, trying to calm down the twinge of anxiety that’s slowly spreading through your body.

You don’t want to remember your last night here as something uncomfortable, so you let your gaze sweep over the beach one last time.

Something catches your eye just as you’re about to turn. Something red is ebbing and flowing along with the waves, and you hesitantly step forward until you can see it clearer. It’s nothing more than a pretty shell, but you’ve never seen that tone of red before. You snatch it up from the water before the tide can pull it out, slowly turning it back and forth to study it. The last sliver of light seems to catch on to it just right, giving the red a gorgeous golden shimmer.

You let out a low gasp of wonder, trailing your fingers along the scalloped pattern. It’s stunning, and you can’t help but think that it’s the beach’s way of saying its last goodbye. Maybe it was giving you a parting gift.

You clutch the shell gently in your hand, a soft ‘thank you’ slipping past your lips as you watch the ocean fondly. You notice a few sudden ripples in the quiet sea a little further out from the beach, but it has started to grow so dark that it’s impossible to make out anything below the soft waves. Chalking it up to just being fish, you shrug it off, finally turning on your heel to walk back up the hill to your family’s little cottage.

You’ve officially been on the sea for a week, and you’ve already grown tired. The small group of fellow villagers that you left with have already started getting on your nerves, and you’re not sure how you’re going to make it all the way to the island and back without going insane. Jimin said you would need to travel north for about two weeks, so you try to find solace in the fact that you’re halfway there already.

The journey so far has been pretty smooth, but the dark clouds on the horizon seem to be rolling towards you at an alarming speed. You dig into the pocket of your trousers, finding comfort in running your fingers along the shell you found on your beach. You can only hope it serves as a token of good luck, because the storm heading straight for you really doesn’t look good at all.

It feels like you only blink before the rain is pelting down against the ship, harsh waves tossing the wooden boat back and forth to its whims. You’re clinging on the side with all of your might, but the floor has turned wet and slippery, and it makes it even harder to stay on board with all the vicious tossing and turning.

You feel the electricity before it hits, the static making your hair stand up straight right before a bolt of lightning slams into the mast. You can barely hear the loud creak of wood over the screams from the other travellers, you gaze transfixed on the large wooden pole as it starts tipping.

You’re frozen in place; all of your muscles locking up in terror as you realize the mast is coming straight at you. You’ll be crushed in you don’t move, but you can’t. You close your eyes instinctively as the looming shadow rushes towards you, harshly sucking in one last breath of air. You feel the ship lurch, and your fingers slip from the bars you were clinging to as you’re tossed overboard.

A blanket of silence wraps around you the moment you hit the water, all of the screaming and creaking of wood suddenly ceasing as the cold liquid mercilessly drags you downwards. You can see the shadow of the ship growing smaller and smaller, your last breath escaping you as it bubbles up towards the surface.

You flail your hands desperately, your body too low on air to properly function. Swim, swim, swim! Your mind is screaming, but your heart has already accepted the rush of water filling your lungs, and the heavy feeling in your bones.

Your vision grows hazy, the blues and greys of the ocean blurring together. A streak of red suddenly breezes by your line of sight, but your tired brain only managing to provide you with the fleeting thought of fish? before the exhaustion truly sets in. You can hear a low series of muddled clicking noises all around you, but it only seems to make you even more drowsy.

Sleep, a deep voice whispers in the back of your mind. And slowly but surely, all of the mixed colours fade into nothingness.

It wasn’t that hard for the mermaid to steer your ship in the wrong direction. The ship was in his waters, under his control, and the storm that suddenly picked up in the northeast presented itself like the perfect opportunity.

He had been trailing after your ship ever since it left the dock, making sure he could strike at the right moment. He couldn’t believe the weird creature he had been watching for months was finally coming willingly to him, but it was only right considering you had accepted his courting gift.

And now, as you were sinking to the bottom of the sea, you were finally his. The mermaid circled you excitedly at a distance as your limbs flailed around underwater. He tried to tell you to calm down – that the fight against his ocean was futile – but you just wouldn’t stop trying.

The mermaid bristled in annoyance, his crimson tail cutting through the sea harshly as he watched the stupid creature fight a losing battle. He needed to take it home now, before his brothers could realize it was here.

Finally, your body stopped moving. The mermaid quickly closed in, strong arms wrapping around your torso as he stared into your unfocused eyes. While he didn’t exactly know what you were, and why you had one limb too many, he had at least gathered enough information to understand that you needed to breathe in that pesky air in order to survive.

He pushed up, letting the currents easily carry him up towards the surface. Of course, he made sure to emerge far from the sinking ship. While the gurgling screams usually were music to his ears – he couldn’t keep you too close to the food. His brothers would be here in no time to feast, and he couldn’t let his new pet be swallowed up before he even had a chance to play with it.

The creature sucked in a shuddering breath as oxygen finally flowed through its veins again. It didn’t take long before all his precious water was being expelled from the creature’s lungs, the mermaid watching in displeasure as it was replaced with that wretched air instead. It just seemed so .. inconvenient.

You didn’t wake however, the near drowning having swept away all of your energy. The mermaid threw one last look towards the remains of the ship, thin lips curling into a pout as the gurgling was replaced by bloody shrieks. He was hungry too, but it seemed like it would have to wait until his pet was out of harm’s way.

Well, at least until it was out of his brothers’ way. The mermaid didn’t like making promises he wasn’t certain he could keep.

#mermaid bts #mermaid au #mermaid jungkook #jungkook x reader #yandere bts #yandere au #yandere jungkook #jungkook au #bts au #bts fanfic #bts #yandere x reader

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riddlecrux · 4 years ago

Text

Miserable together, happy apart: a dive into Elain and Lucien's relationship

This meta is based solely on textual pieces of evidence that can be found through the whole ACTOAR series written by SJM. My observations come from the text and what was given to us, the audience, by the author of the book. Due to the fact that this topic is connected with a raging shipping war, I would like to make an important note at the beginning of this (probably) long comparison post. This meta will be touching subjects such as trauma, forced and unhealthy relationships, being uncomfortable around the other person, and enforced feeling of duty. On that note, it's anti Elain and Lucien relationship.

The starting point of the whole relationship and mating bond begins in ACOMAF, when Lucien contributes to Archeron sisters being kidnapped - leading to them being Made. I'm very concerned with the way how this fandom seems to collectively forget about the trauma that Elain went through when she was pushed inside the Cauldron. After ACOSF we are left with the idea that being Made wasn't pleasant - on the contrary, it was horrible and scary, it left Nesta with psychological scars and mental barriers. So why are people forgetting that, in fact, it was Elain who undergone the same terrifying experience first? SJM had described this whole situation very vividly and painfully detailed. It was there to show us that both Elain and Nesta went through something disturbing and traumatizing. That's why I would like to start with a notion of TRAUMA:

"Elain’s foot hit the water, and she screamed—screamed in terror that hit me so deep I began sobbing."

Feyre is there to witness her sisters being shoved into Cauldron and one can only imagine how terrifying it was to observe such a thing. However, there is no amount of words to describe how utterly frightening it was for Elain to be pushed into the unknown. She was the first one, an experiment for everyone to see.

"More water than seemed possible dumped out in a cascade. Black, smoke-coated water. And Elain, as if she’d been thrown by a wave, washed onto the stones facedown. Her legs were so pale—so delicate. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen them bare."

Elain was a proper lady. She was the one who went along with the prevailing etiquette and rules. Feyre notices Elain's bare skin and how she doesn't even remember when was the last time she saw so much of it in the broad daylight. Elain was modest, she followed the social obligations and we as readers are presented with the fact that all her principles are being violated in front of these strangers and people she knew from before.

"Elain was still shivering on the wet stones, her nightgown shoved up to her thighs, her small breasts fully visible beneath the soaked fabric. Guards snickered."

She was let out in the open after such a traumatizing event. Just after being Made, the first thing she experiences is another form of trauma. She is involuntary stripped bare in front of males, her proper upbringing and modesty ruined as they openly laugh at her nakedness. It's another traumatic event, not even a moment after her whole human life was taken away from her.

"As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him—"

It's not surprising that she acted that way. He is yet another male who appears out of nowhere, comes at her when she is in a very vulnerable position. Not to mention, that he is connected to the fact that she and Nesta were kidnapped and used as hostages. He plays a role in her trauma, a trauma that is still happening around her. Elain is subjected to watch her older sister going through the same thing she went through.

"Lucien’s hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, “You’re my mate.”"

I would say that it wasn't a good thing to say at that moment. It's yet another brick in the wall of traumas that Elain just went through. She lost her human life, she was Made, she lost her human fiance, was kidnapped and used as an experiment, ridiculed due to her nakedness and vulnerability, watched her sister being shoved into the Cauldron. Now she is presented with the fact that she was stripped off of her free will, and she still doesn't have freedom of choice. The lack of choice is evident, she just doesn't let it fall upon her as the trauma she had just endured was too great to even imagine how that declaration could shake her already broken heart.

“From my sister’s stories. Her friend.” “Yes.” But Elain blinked slowly. “You were in Hybern.” “Yes.” It was all he could say. “You betrayed us.”

Elain is aware of the fact that he was a part of her trauma. He was there when she got kidnapped and watched her being Made. She acknowledges the fact that he is partially responsible for what has happened to her and her sister. Not only Elain but Lucien as well. Lucien is also very much aware of the fact that he had contributed to her pain and hardship. Those feelings are also very prominent in the way he approaches her and behaves around her. The knowledge that she is that way because of his mistake.

FORCED RELATIONSHIP:

Both Elain and Lucien find themselves forced to "be" together. It wasn't a natural thing that happened between them, not a healthy type of bond snapping in its place. They were put together because of the Cauldron's decision.

She was nothing like Jesminda. Jesminda had been all laughter and mischief, too wild and free to be contained by the country life that she’d been born into. She had teased him, taunted him—seduced him so thoroughly that he hadn’t wanted anything but her. She’d seen him not as a High Lord’s seventh son, but as a male. Had loved him without question, without hesitation. She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him.

Even Lucien, who had loved and lost his previous lover acknowledges the fact that it is something that both of them didn't want. Their bond essentially stripped both of them of their free will. They hadn't chosen each other, they were just put together in a fickle decision of The Cauldron. His previous love story signalizes that Lucien also wants to be chosen, wants to be loved by someone who decided that he is the man that the other person wants to love and spend their life with him.

“I am Lucien. Seventh son of the High Lord of the Autumn Court.” And a whole lot of nothing.

Lucien has also his own issues - family feud, the fact that his friend betrayed him and in the end, it was him who did the same. He has troubles on his mind that are concerning. He's self-conscious in front of Elain because as Lucien is a reminder of her trauma - she is a reminder of his biggest mistake and another painful ending on his part. She's a living proof of his betrayal, how he went against his common sense and stabbed his friend, Feyre, in the back by bringing her sister into the scene.

The words were a rasp as he instead said, “I know. I’m sorry.” She did not love him, want him, need him. Another male’s bride. A mortal man’s wife. Or she would have been.

He is aware of the fact that Elain doesn't feel anything for him, that she was promised to another and she had planned her life with that person. Just like him in the past - it was his choice to love, want, and need Jesminda. As he's trying to keep his composure the feelings of the bond swirl around, yet Lucien still understands that both of them ended up with something they didn't want.

“When I sleep,” she murmured, “I can hear your heart beating through the stone.” She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. “Can you hear mine?” He wasn’t sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, “No, lady. I cannot.”

Even though they were "blessed" with this bond, the thread of it is weak and very unlike the other ones in SJM universe. As if it wasn't working properly - they both do not complete each other. Few pages before Elain says that she can hear Feyre's and Nesta's heartbeat and yet her mate can't hear hers? How is that possible? Also Lucien doesn't understand Elain - he sees her as someone who is devastated by her ruined human life, which is true, but right we as readers know by now that Elain was suffering because nobody seemed to realize what was wrong with her. Their first meeting doesn't spark hope for their future. It only showcases how wrong they both are for each other, two wounds plastered against each other.

BEING UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND EACH OTHER: Sadly both Elain and Lucien are pushed together by Feyre and her little meddling - which isn't something that they both want to undergo.

It was the most uncomfortable thirty minutes I could recall. (...) Pretending, while Lucien and Elain sat in stilted silence by the dim fireplace, an untouched tea service between them.

Even Feyre admits that a previously arranged get-together was a mistake. Because Lucien and Elain are wary of their presence around each other, they constantly remind each other's traumas and painful memories. Elain can barely stand his presence and Lucien is aware of that fact - the only thing that keeps him trying to break that barrier is their bond.

She rose to her feet, and Lucien shot to his. “I’m sorry,” he blurted. “What—what was that?” Mor put a hand on my knee to keep me from rising, too. “It—it was a tug. On the bond.”

Even their mating bond isn't a thing of comfort. They can't navigate through it, both of them uncomfortable because of their proximity. Lucien feels as if he has to repay his debt towards Elain, however, neither of them wants to close the distance. Their wounds are still fresh, both of them not entirely healed. They are constantly rubbing their hurt on each other, meeting after meeting.

“Nothing,” he said, and again faced his mate. “I’m sorry—if that unsettled you.” Elain sidled toward Nesta, who seemed to be at a near-simmer. “It felt … strange,” Elain breathed. “Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib.” Lucien exposed his palms to her. “I’m sorry“.

He feels guilty all the time he's around her. He can't navigate through the mating bond as it doesn't work properly. It's uncomfortable, hurtful, and tense. Just like the relationship between them, it is not a good thing. They are basically strangers thrown at each other after seeing the other person at their lowest. It's not a coincidence that the bond between them is a mirror to their rough, strained relation.

Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?”

Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before.

Even with the bond, Lucien can't understand what Elain needs. They are basically strangers, yet the bond doesn't do anything to him in regards to helping her. They are constantly uncomfortable around each other, they try to avoid each other throughout the series because of the fact that they both don't want to be in this forced relationship. Lucien feels obliged to keep persuading her due to the bond, whereas Elain wants nothing to do with the said bond. They are in a maze of constant avoidance and unbearable proximity, which is very soundly described in the text and I would like to present some very important passages:

He hadn’t mentioned Elain, or his proximity to her. Elain had not asked him to stay or to go. And whether she cared about the bruises on his face, she certainly hadn’t let on.

Elain, at least, would be too polite to send Lucien away when he wanted to help. She was too polite to send him away on a normal day. She just ignored him or barely spoke to him until he got the hint and left. As far as I knew, he hadn’t come within touching distance since the aftermath of that final battle.

No, as Elain took a step back, hand falling away from the doorknob, she revealed Lucien smiling tightly at us both. “Happy Solstice,” was all he said.

A sidelong glance toward Elain, swift and fleeting. “Both of you.” Elain said nothing, but at least she bowed her head in thanks.

“You’re welcome to stay for the night,” I said, since Elain certainly wasn’t going to. Lucien lowered his hands into his lap and leaned back in the armchair. “Thank you, but I have other plans.” I prayed he didn’t catch the slightly relieved glimmer on Elain’s face.

My sister rose to her feet. “I should get refreshments.” Lucien rose as well. “No need to trouble yourself. I’m—” But she was already out of the room.

I would love to bring attention to the fact that Lucien understands and realizes that their relationships will never work. He acknowledges it in the text, with his own words!

"Give her time to accept it.” “To accept a life shackled to me?”

“Spend time with her.” “I don’t think she’ll tolerate two minutes alone with me, so forget about two weeks.” His jaw worked as he studied the fire.

He shook off my grip and headed for the door. “I can’t stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes."

ELAIN'S AGENCY: Throughout ACOWAR, ACOFAS and ACOSF Elain tries to get away from the bond and in conclusion also from Lucien himself. She doesn't acknowledge their bond and time after time she runs away from the fact that they are bound to each other. The thing is, Elain, probably doesn't know how to break their bond - we as readers are reminded in Azriel's POV how important their mating bond is for the Night Court, which makes her a sort of political pawn. It is yet another thing that is taken away from her, which to be honest is a kind of a hypocritical thing coming from Rhys and Feyre. We know that Elain is timid, however after slowly recovering from her trauma she started to voice out her discomfort connected to Lucien and their forced relationship.

I knew I wasn’t truly angry with her, not angry with anyone but myself, but I said, “You couldn’t say a single word to him? A pleasant greeting?” Elain only stared at the steaming kettle as she set it on the stone counter. “He brought you a present.” Those doe-brown eyes turned toward me. Sharper than I’d ever seen them. “And that entitles him to my time, my affections?”

Lucien still makes her uncomfortable, he is a constant reminder of her trauma and lost life. Another thing is that Lucien doesn't even know her, doesn't see her which is something that is very important to her. Everything he does is based on the fact that he is connected to her via mating bond, not by his own free choice. Which, again, is presented to us in her own words in the text:

“No.” I blinked. “But he is a good male.” Despite our harsh words. Despite this Band of Exiles bullshit. “He cares for you.” “He doesn’t know me.” “You don’t give him the chance to even try to do so.” Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. “I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.”

It doesn't help that the one who pushes her forward into this spiral of unbearable proximity with someone she hadn't chosen and don't want to be around, is her own sister. Yet, she stands her ground and sets boundaries. She is her own person and she wants to get to chose. ELAIN AROUND LUCIEN:

I handed Elain the small box with her name on it. Her smile faded as she opened it. “Enchanted gloves,” she read from the card. “That won’t tear or become too sweaty while gardening.” She set aside the box without looking at it for longer than a moment.

I found my sister in the kitchen, watching the kettle scream. “He’s not staying for tea,” I said.

I said to Lucien when we’d settled in the armchairs before the fire, Elain perched silently on the couch nearby.

I found my sister in the kitchen, watching the kettle scream. “He’s not staying for tea,” I said.

I said to Lucien when we’d settled in the armchairs before the fire, Elain perched silently on the couch nearby.

Elain had picked up the teacup, and now sipped from it without so much as looking toward him.

Elain only stared at him for a long moment. And any lucidity faded away as she shook her head, blinking twice (...).

He glanced at Elain, who was again studying her lap.

Elain now watched Lucien warily. Blinking every now and then.

He only glanced at Elain, whose face was again a calm void while she traced a finger over the embroidery on the couch cushions.

Their gazes locked and held. But Elain said nothing. Did not so much as take one step downward.

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get.

Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

As you can see Elain feels: - uncomfortable - on edge - withdrawn - wary - closed off - silenced (she always loses the will to speak around Lucien, going deeper inside of her) - melancholic (she watches as kettle boil without flinching as if she wandered in the maze of her mind). Elain loses her comfort and courage around Lucien, which is problematic and utterly sad to witness. He is a constant reminder for her of violation against her own free will, but also a living proof of her own trauma. LUCIEN AROUND ELAIN:

Lucien surveyed it all with cool indifference. What he felt about Elain, what he planned to do … I didn’t want to ask.

“I would never hurt her.” A bleak sort of honesty in his words.

He tried to sound casual—comfortable. Even as his heart raced and raced, so swift he thought he might vomit on the very expensive, very old carpet.

He didn’t expect her to answer, and he gave himself all of one more minute before he’d rise from this chair and leave.

Betrayal, queasy and oily, slid through his veins. He’d said the same to Jesminda once.

He wished she’d shoved him out the window behind her.

He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he said nothing, and drained his tea, even as it burned his mouth.

“I think she went through something terrible,” Lucien countered carefully. “And it wouldn’t hurt to have your best healer do a thorough examination.”

Lucien looked to her, then over to me. A muscle feathered in his jaw. “Nothing,” he said, and again faced his mate. “I’m sorry—if that unsettled you.”

Lucien exposed his palms to her. “I’m sorry.”

Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?”

Lucien silently slid into one of the chairs, before the window, that metal eye whirring as it roved over my sister.

Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before.

Lucien inclined his head in a bow, the movement hiding the gleam in his eye —the longing and sadness.

“I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort.

Lucien feels: - uncomfortable - guilty - uneasy - confused (especially in the moments where Elain is having visions and he doesn't understand what's happening with her) - apologetic (he is constantly saying sorry to her) - tense

The guilt eats him every time he is around Elain, he is constantly apologizing while battling his inner problems such as remembering his true love. He was stripped off of his choice and even if the mating bond is there, he isn't happy. He is in constant pain just like Elain because both of them are each other wounds, each other reminder of trauma. They can't heal together because they are only happy when they are apart - Elain blooms in the Night Court, as we have read in ACOSF she is coming up with terms of Fae life and her own powers, adjusting her life to the notion of immortality. She is content and courageous and yet everything vanishes when Lucien is around. The same thing goes for Lucien. Lucien was struggling with her around him - he didn't know her, he didn't know what was happening to her as well. They were both strangers thrown at each other without their own say in this whole situation. Not to mention that their meetings were always arranged and supervised by others. When he sets on the journey to find Vassa he finds freedom and belonging - which was something he was battling in ACOWAR, after betraying his friends and his court, after being at odds in Night Court, and after being uncomfortable around his mate. He didn't have that sense of belonging in any of those things.

Elain and Lucien aren't compatible nor perfect for each other. They are constant reminders of traumas they experienced. They will never work out because they make each other miserable while being together, and they feel free and content apart. Their happiness lies with free choice, free will both of them were looking for in their lives. They are bound together against their own, and the only key for them being happy in this farce is setting themselves free. A choice of freedom. I strongly believe that after their rejection of the bond both of them could, perhaps, form a friendship. It would have been some sort of catharsis - to dwell upon the fact that they overcame that obstacle. That they chose to be happy apart, and not be shackled by this miserable bond.

#anti elucien #pro elain #pro elain archeron #elain archeron #acotar #i mean technically this is pro elriel #elriel #anti forced bond #elain and lucien as friends #not mates #also pls be civil in the comments

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decennia · 3 years ago

Note

i give u free reign to infodump ab all of the knights and the og army bc i am vv intrigued agjgssgsh

THERE IS SO MUCH HERE OMFG MORAL OF THIS STORY NEVER ASK ME TO INFO DUMP BECAUSE I WILL TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF IT—

I've separated it into sections:

The Knights of Walpurgis, and the motivations for their assigned sins.

Dumbledore's First Resistance, and the motivations for their assigned virtues.

The dynamics between the opposing contenders.

Given the sheer volume of information, I've included a cut. Please enjoy this manip that I am still very proud of.

THE KNIGHTS OF WALPURGIS (later known as Death Eaters) Tom Riddle (Pride)

Pride and arrogance were very large contributing factors to Tom Riddle's downfall in the end, and honestly, the whole idea for the gifset came from Florence + The Machines' Seven Devils playing while casually thinking of Dagrim and Tom, and then about how perfectly Tom would fit as Lucifer.

Dagrim Patil (Avarice)

When questioned about what she wants, and what Riddle promised her in exchange for her unwavering loyalty, her response is, quite simply: everything. Dagrim grew up starved not for affection, but recognition. And what she was denied in childhood, she would take in adulthood by force. Her philosophy is that if something is worth wanting, it is worth taking.

Cantankerous Nott IV (Lust)

We know so little about Theodore Nott's father from the source material, other than he was elderly, and he raised Theo himself. And that he was a Death Eater, of course. His name is an ode to his ancestor, the Cantankerous Nott who created the Sacred Twenty-Eight pureblood directory. I assigned him "lust" purely for the events leading to the conception of his son (sis, it gets messy).

Abraxas Malfoy (Envy)

Abraxas Malfoy envied Tom Riddle to the point of a half attempted mutiny. He was quickly put in his place, his co-conspirators made examples of, and spared only for his close friendship with Dagrim, who pleaded for his life. Riddle, who trusted Dagrim to a fault for all she'd done to earn it, conceded. Abraxas would later prove himself to Riddle again, regaining his seat among Riddle's favoured generals. He was the one who taught Lucius to never disobey the Dark Lord, and he was not a kind teacher.

Ulysses Mulciber (Gluttony)

Indulgence and excess, spoiled rotten and filthy rich. The Mulcibers were the richest of the Sacred at one point in their lives, rivalled only by the Malfoys. Ulysses never knew the meaning of "enough," and was a glutton not only in all manners of vice, but also for cruelty, dealing it out carelessly with little to no regard for the repercussions he was well protected from by his noble standing and wealth. He was one of Riddle's greatest allies and sponsors, and instrumental in his rise to power.

Carmilla Avery (Wrath)

Carmilla was in the year above Riddle, and was quick to anger and slow to calm. Her temper was legendary, and even her younger brothers – also admitted into the Death Eater ranks – feared her. She had an untempered fury, a rage at the world for no reason at all. She developed an unhealthy codependency with Abraxas Malfoy, who served to have a soothing presence over her. People seldom survive crossing her, as her reputation dictates.

Serafine Lestrange (Sloth)

Serafine is not lazy (as the sin "sloth" would suggest), she just lacks the motivations to pursue the goals that are expected of her. A particularly bright witch, and a wealthy one too, she never applied herself at school for she didn't see the need. Instead, she fell into a fascination of the Dark Arts, where she met Riddle, perusing the Restricted Section. She is rather discontented with life, disillusioned from already such a young age. She initially joins Riddle's gang for the excitement of it all.

DUMBLEDORE'S FIRST RESISTANCE (later known as the Order of the Phoenix in its official conception in 1970)

Albus Dumbledore (Patience)

Name a man more patient than Dumbledore, I'll wait. Better yet, he'll wait, because he's patient as hell. So patient, in fact, he waited until after Harry's supposed death to come to him as a hallucination and tell him about how he was a Horcrux.

Rathin Patil (Temperance)

Temperance is abstinence, and I wanted to explore the kind of toll having his sister so far gone into the dark would have on any man, let alone one who really cared for her and wanted to do right by her. Rathin is not a perfect man, he is still fallible, and unfortunately, he develops a dependent comfort in inebriation when Dagrim disappears with Riddle. He pulls himself back together, especially when he becomes Isaiah Moody's partner at the Ministry, and he begins to pursue Miraya.

Miraya Varma (Diligence)

Methodical and persistent, Miraya Varma earned herself a position at the Ministry immediately out of Hogwarts where she would later go on to form her own task force within the Ministry specifically designed for the interrogation and recommended sentencing of dark wizards and witches. She has been known to put her duty first, up until the birth of her son, Divyansh Patil, father to Padma and Parvati.

Isaiah Moody (Humility)

For a very long time, people seldom knew the Moody name, and that was the way Isaiah liked it. He believed that his line of work would endanger his loved ones (in spite of his wife being in the same profession) and so he never took credit for the numerous arrests he made. It was Isaiah who suspected something was strange about Morfin Gaunt's arrest while investigating the Riddle Massacre, and consulted Dumbledore about it. Once his identity was discovered and he was viewed as a threat by Riddle, an attack was made on his heavily pregnant wife, jeopardizing her and his unborn boy's (Alastor) life.

Minerva McGonagall (Chastity)

Mini Minnie is seventeen, my dudes. But not only that, Minerva grew up with a religious father (he was canonically a reverend), who probably taught her his values. Also given the fact that Minerva was the first of the younger generation to participate and involve herself in the war (she sought out Dumbledore and enlisted herself into his Resistance, fearing her family would be made into another statistic if she didn't at least do something to intervene), she really didn't have much time to think about something as arbitrary as the concept of virginity. Also, it's the 1950s.

Corinne Scamander (Kindness)

Corrine is honestly the greatest. She has all of the tenacity of Tina, and the best qualities of Newt. It was Dumbledore's previous bond with Newt that encouraged him to recruit her, and she willingly accepted, because of course she would. She'd always been the soft spoken girl with a tender touch and a love for life, and she was often the advocate for hope in the resistance. She was adept in a few healing charms she'd learned from her father, and was something of a specialist in magical beings, proving herself to be highly valuable while Riddle was expanding his ranks with all manner of dark creatures.

Declan Diggory (Charity)

Sacrifice is in the Diggory blood, and Cedric's grandfather, Declan, was not the first to prove it. He also, unfortunately, wasn't the last, but he sure was one of the best. Selfless to a fault, Declan would willingly get hypothermia if it meant someone else would have warmth. Diggory's contributions to the war effort consisted of offering sanctuary and shelter to muggleborns who received death threats, and orchestrating the evacuations of targeted muggle residences. He was the leader of a small faction of the resistance, including, but not limited to: Fleamont Potter, Enoch Longbottom, Wilhelm Shacklebolt, and Ramona McKinnon.

DYNAMICS (just the contenders for now because this is hella long)

Albus Dumbledore vs. Tom Riddle

Adversaries, a fair deal of mistrust and guilt from Dumbledore's side (upon reflection, he'd been the one to introduce Tom to the wizarding world; even though he knows that if Riddle had been left unchecked, the risk of him becoming an Obscurus would've resulted in catastrophe all the same). Riddle sees Dumbledore as nothing more than a foolish old man, a pest, and an obstacle to overcome at first, but learns to begrudgingly respect Dumbledore's strength and mastery of magic (after all, Riddle only knew him as the Transfiguration teacher before, and thought the accounts of Dumbledore's victory over Grindelwald had been exaggerated to great effect). Riddle's hubris was believing he could defeat Dumbledore on his own, thinking himself already stronger than Grindelwald ever hoped to be.

Rathin Patil vs. Dagrim Patil

Rathin had always been very protective of Dagrim, and loved her dearly, although his acts of affection were often misinterpreted as pity and condescension. This only served to push them further apart. When Dagrim turned to the Dark Arts and found solace in Riddle, it revolted Rathin, as he was hugely against the corruption the Dark Arts has on the performing witch or wizard, and wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. He still very much loves her, and it hurts him to fight her. Dagrim, on the other hand, finds catharsis in duelling her brother, believing it to be justice for the way her parents treated her and the little he did to dissuade them.

Miraya Varma vs. Cantankerous Nott

A mutual respect and an academic rivalry, Cantankerous and Miraya were not friends by any means, but not enemies, either. Cantankerous even went as far as to warn Miraya of an impending attack, allowing her to evacuate the building. But although he knows she's clever, he also knows that she's incredibly stubborn, and displayed little surprise to find her awaiting him in the now vacant building. They are equally matched, and their unique relationship spans several decades, even into Cantankerous' failed run at Minister for Magic, and Theodore and the Patil twins' time at Hogwarts. She was present at his trial following the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, and watched as he was sentenced to life in Azkaban for his crimes as a Death Eater.

Isaiah Moody vs. Abraxas Malfoy

Given his profession, Isaiah has a lot of enemies on the Sacred Twenty-Eight who are loyal to the Dark Lord. One such enemy is Abraxas Malfoy. When Tom gets word of Moody's involvement in solving the Riddle Massacre, he sends Malfoy and a newer Death Eater, Evangeline Rosier, to hinder the investigation. Abraxas and Evangeline were responsible for the attack on Isaiah's heavily pregnant wife, who, if she hadn't been an Auror herself, would've never survived. Alastor Moody was prematurely born at St. Mungo's following the attack, and all of Isaiah's efforts were turned on exacting vengeance on those responsible. Malfoy went into hiding, but Isaiah, ruthless, managed to hunt down Rosier. She died under questioning, setting in motion a vicious cycle of vengeance between the Moodys and Rosiers. Once Isaiah had been killed by Evangeline's brother (Evan [who was named after her] Rosier's father), Abraxas deemed it safe to rejoin society.

Minerva McGonagall vs. Ulysses Mulciber

On the list of things Ulysses loathes, he would put half-bloods above muggleborns (although he turns a blind eye to his Dark Lord's blood status when it conveniences him). Half-bloods only serve as a reminder of the lowest and weakest of his kind; the unworthy muggleborns, the lecherous blood traitors, the vermin muggles. Mulciber prides himself as something of a "purifier," and finds great enjoyment in pruning family trees that have been poisoned by muggle blood into purity once more. He takes a great interest in Minerva McGonagall, given that she is an incredibly powerful witch at such a young age, and he wonders how glorious she would've been had she been a pureblood (a twisted and untrue belief among the Sacred Twenty-Eight during that time). Minerva, the threat of Mulciber weighing heavily on her, places her family under Dumbledore's protection. She vows to stop Mulciber and his perverse idea of justice.

Corinne Scamander vs. Carmilla Avery

It didn't take much to enrage Carmilla Avery, and Corinne had been caught in the tempest Carmilla's fury since the day they'd met. Carmilla, who took great pleasure in picking on people she deemed lesser, made a target out of Corinne, perceiving her kindness for weakness. During their time at Hogwarts, Corinne had gained the attention of Avery for being a blood traitor and a muggle sympathizer, which only strengthened Carmilla's vindication. Corinne, who had been friends with Rubeus Hagrid prior to his expulsion, and who had almost fallen prey to the basilisk when she had heard Myrtle Warren's cries from the bathroom, never lowered herself to Carmilla's level nor did she rise to any of the challenges. This hurt Avery's ego, as she thought this was Corinne's way of claiming herself better than her. It wasn't until after Hogwarts that Carmilla's growing resentment came to a head, and, without the protection the school offered Corinne, Carmilla was looking to finally put an end to the blood traitor line of Scamander.

Declan Diggory vs. Serafine Lestrange

Declan and Serafine were childhood friends who drifted apart during their time at Hogwarts, particularly when she fell in with Riddle's crowd. She is viewed by Dumbledore as having the power to sway the entire outcome of the war, for if Serafine could be persuaded into leaving Riddle, her cousins (one of whom is the father of Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange) would surely comply, and the families who held the Lestranges in high regard would be inclined to follow. This makes Declan and Serafine key pieces in Dumbledore's game of strategy. However, Serafine was disowned long before she defected from the Death Eaters, leaving the Lestranges firmly in Riddle's grasp. Although Serafine claimed to feel nothing for Diggory, she still refused to deal any real harm to him when they duel, in spite of having ample opportunity to do so; something which Riddle picked up on. She was later forced to torture Declan in front of him to prove her loyalty to the Dark Lord, something which Declan permitted her to do, knowing she had very little choice in the matter. He was left for dead, but Serafine would later secretly return with Corinne to get him medical attention. She gives her son, Francis, "Declan" as a middle name.

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tundrainafrica · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! I absolutely love your levihan stories! The way they care for each other is just gaaahhhhh.

I wanted to make an ask for a while, but I didn't have an idea. I was reading a story and got this random idea suddenly. How about Levi slipping in the bathtub and nearly drowning, but Hange hears the thud of his head hitting the edge or something and has to kick the door down and finds Levi submerged having breathed in water and with a bad gash where his head hit the tub?

Title: Triage

Summary:

"Levi could count with the fingers on his two hands, and maybe some of his toes, the few times he had seen Hange angry—very angry. Those rare times, she was a full blown tornado of screaming, shouting, kicking, rambling.

Albeit terrified, Levi had to note, Hange never raged for shallow reasons. Her terrifying rage, that came once a blue moon, always seemed to have a very good point."

For the first time in many years, Levi witnesses Hange's rage again.

Notes: I took some liberties with the prompt but I hope you still enjoy. Feedback is very much appreciated :D

NN from the last request: maybe he slips in the bath because of his broken leg from when he and mikasa saved Eren from the female titan?

Levi could count with the fingers on his two hands, and maybe some of his toes, the few times he had seen Hange angry—very angry.

It wasn’t something he liked to remember vividly, but it was something he ended up remembering anyway because of how jarring the whole scene of Hange’s rage was. She, who was usually more of like a whirlwind anyway, would suddenly transform into a full blown tornado.

A full blown tornado of screaming, shouting, kicking, rambling.

In whirlwinds and in gusts of screaming, shouting, she clarified logical points, rehashed commands, asked questions. At first her anger was chaos. When the dust cleared though, the haze dissipated, some poor sap always came out of it a learned man.

Her anger, that came once a blue moon, always seemed to have a point.

All completely comprehensible and thus, Levi could easily see reason and consequently be able to summarize the most anger inducing situations to two: One, any utterly stupid move that Hange cannot seem to understand which could cost hundreds, or thousands of lives. Two, utter negligence that could also cost hundreds or thousands of lives.

Notably, Hange would never release the uncontrollable storm for just one person. She had always been fun loving, peace loving. Although her sudden rise to the commander position had mellowed her down just a little, Hange always had a way of building camaraderie with even the lowest from such a high position, while at the same time demanding authority.

Maybe she mastered it, maybe there had been little to no reason to show that side of herself when she was constantly dealing with peace treaties and diplomacy issues.

At times, Levi wondered though, if that part of her had ever left.

It was something he pondered on, grappled with, when days were longer and workloads were kinder. Strangely, one day in late autumn, when the days were longer, when everyone was cramming as much work as they could before the holiday season came, Levi was reflecting on it for a little bit longer.

“Hange, are you okay?” The question forced itself into the conversation uninvited. Levi liked to blame the question for popping its head in like some audacious prick. Really, it had been his own fault at having downed one drink just too quickly that had gotten him at that. Of course, that hyperfixation on Hange, who was starting to look a little pink in the face too, had been at fault as well.

“I just have to go back to the office after this,” Hange slammed the glass in front of her. “Just one drink.” She added. This is the only drink I’ll have tonight.” She added again, after a few seconds.

She had a tendency of turning a little pink with just one cup. Levi wasn’t too nervous about it. Inebriation made him much quicker and much more confident about brushing problems away. “Do you really have to finish looking into those extra papers tonight?”

“Jean will be coming for them first thing in the morning. I don’t wanna keep any more diplomats waiting,” Hange explained. Her tendency to overwork was almost understandable. After all, Paradis was decades behind the rest of the world. With the impending war, Levi could only accept, while affording her a half smile.

They agreed on just half an hour, exchanging half baked ideas over one cup for Hange, two for Levi. Not enough for any of them to end up wobbling towards the exit. Levi hadn’t drunk in years though, having abandoned it after the adults in the survey corps had dwindled to just them. He just didn’t expect that just a sip of his second cup, would have him cross eyed for a moment. Luckily, he easily forgot about it with just a few quick blinks and a quick shake of the head.

“I should be asking you if you’re okay,” Hange said wryly. Her face had an almost pensive touch to it and Levi didn’t want to contribute to any more stress or sadness she might have been harboring then.

So he kept his answer brief, no room for questions. “I’m fine.”

Hange furrowed her brows at him. “Sure…” She started hesitantly. Then, she huffed. “Just make sure to go straight to the barracks… Okay?”

Before Levi could formulate a reply, Hange’s attention was suddenly elsewhere. She turned to her right. Levi followed suit to get a good view, only to be taken aback by the scuffle that had started only a few feet away.

Maybe drunkenness had him blending songs, conversations and scuffles all into one lively sound. The bar fight only stood out like a sore thumb when he focused on the two men, one carried a poor boy by the back of his hands, while another man readied his fists.

Before Levi could process the scene for just a little longer, Hange had come in between them. “Why don’t you keep fights to people your own age? You know this boy can’t beat you.”

“This kid’s parents are in debt,” one explained, his tone aggressive.

“Then send a payment request to his parents.” Hange kept her cool.

But for how long could they maintain the peace? Levi pulled himself up from his seat and wobbled closer to make more sense of the conversations

“We can’t collect…. They’re dead…”

There were many things Levi could stomach. Abuse, unnecessary bullying weren’t among them. Particularly when the child, an orphan at that, was much weaker than they were. He was ready to blink back his own dizziness to get at least one precise kick into the most proper place for a male asshole.

Hange though had been quicker, she had bent down. It turned out she had been dodging a punch. Everything after was a flash of movements Levi couldn't comprehend at his current state.

He stepped just a few feet back, enough to take better stock of the situation. The bar was crowded that night. A bar teeming with burly and most likely ill-intentioned men wasn’t anything new and he had made one mistake in his drunken state. He focused on two men, just among the others, separating those two from the crowds in the background.

Hange was balancing everything at once, keeping the kid safe, while delivering blows when necessary. She was skillful but with two men becoming roughly ten in just a split second, there were only too many ways she could defend herself.

So Levi bit back the alcohol that lingered in his mouth, the light pounding in his head and the way the lights and the quick motions just lingered for a little longer in his vision. He put one foot forward, ready to strike at the man approaching Hange. Defense and offense at such a state, when he was still working to get his flow and his bearings had him careless, receiving a sock to his upper left. He swallowed the bile that rose at his throat, closed his eyes for a second, blinking back the lights that settled in the black.

He managed to pull out before it could have been anything worse. His fighter instincts from the underground started to kick in soon after, ignoring the protests from his left side. They undermined whatever orders his injuries were screaming then.

Maybe that had been a good thing. In the end, humanity’s strongest had taken down ten men in the bar. Hange and the young boy had come out of it completely unscathed. The adrenaline had him breathing hard.

Levi still had his bearings. He turned back to Hange and breathed out. “Pay the tab. We’re getting out of here.”

***

The young boy was quick to introduce himself as they turned the corner of the bar, and made their way far from the store lined streets.

“I’m Joseph,” He started. Soon his words transformed into some over apologetic and grateful babble. Some Levi willed himself to comprehend, others he had been too disconcerted to pick up.

There were words he picked up more than others.

Orphanage. Illness. Mother. Dead. He soon put the puzzle pieces together himself.

Joseph had been staying in an orphanage just a half an hour ride away. His mother suddenly died from illness and before he even transferred to the orphanage, the men had ransacked his house for anything worth more than a penny, to help pay back the debt of his late father.

He just wanted a locket back, a last memento of his mother.

“I’ll coordinate with the other soldiers, see what I can do for you,” Hange said, coiling one hand around the boy’s shoulders.

“The police don’t listen,” he said in between tears.

“I’ll make them listen.”

The boy believed her, maybe he didn’t. Levi saw it appropriate that he himself stayed quiet. If Hange couldn’t convince the young boy, who could? Besides, his upper left side was killing him, his breaths were coming out in some strange rhythm and if he talked, would it make it come out as any worse?

“I’ll take you back to the orphanage first and I’ll see what I can do,” she consoled. “As soon as I get anything, I’ll make sure to send it over.”

“Those men are mean, please don’t hurt yourself.” Surprisingly, the boy seemed mature. Levi though was familiar with that trend, adversity seemed to do that to people.

“I won’t.” They turned another corner and Hange quickened her pace towards the barracks.

Levi followed behind, almost painfully. The quicker strides expected of him made him a little less tolerant of pain. He pressed his hand to his side for just a second. The sky was dark and pressing his side was a flash of movement, nobody should have noticed it except him. But somehow, he was self conscious.

Hange walked ahead though, the rhythm in her stride undisturbed. She hurried towards the stables but only pulled one horse out.

“You don’t need me to come with you?” Levi asked.

Hange shook her head. “It’s a short ride.” She helped the young boy on the horse and plopped herself lightly just right behind him. “I think I’m gonna spend some time in the headquarters tonight, do some research...” She looked pointedly at the kid.

“I’ll wait in the office---”

“No, go to the hospital.”

“Wait.. Why?” Levi spat.

Just a while ago, a few blows connected,” Hange said in a more serious tone. “It might be better if you have them checked out, just for some extra reassurance.” She turned her head toward the direction of the hospital only one block away.

“I think I have a few bruises,” Levi said. “But we’ve gotten much worse on the field.”

Hange gave him a pensive smile. “Just have it checked out, for me? It’s free for soldiers and I don’t think a free cold water compress could hurt.”

“I’ll just make one in your office.” They had a teapot and a kettle and they had some ice as well.

“I’ll pick you up from there on the way back.” There was no room for argument with that tone.

“I’ll wait then,” Levi said. He didn’t say anymore as he turned on his heel. Instead, he focused on the clip clop of the hooves as Hange galloped away. That was a sound that grounded him and when he kept his ragged breaths attune to that rhythm. Levi found that a constant rhythm made it much easier to focus on the road.

Either way, it looked like the walk would last an eternity.

***

For any sane person, it was a short convenient walk. Levi though was in this seemingly eternal trance of just overestimating then underestimating himself. Again and again.

He found ways to ground himself by focusing on the lights that dotted the corridors on the way to the hospital entrance connected to their barracks. He looked at the corridor leading to the commander’s office, almost tempted to turn the heel and treat for himself whatever injuries Hange might have seen in him.

I’ll pick you up from there on the way back. He didn’t have any way to coordinate with Hange then so he trudged straight ahead. The way to meet up with Hange much faster was to just bite his lip and brave the hospital over a few seemingly small injuries.

He had to work harder to contain himself as he saw the crowds from the crack through the half opened door.

Joy. Levi thought to himself. The emergency room was completely full on a weekday night. He settled for one of the benches at the back. The nurses were going around distributing forms and fortunately, he didn’t have to go up to sign anything.

“Some bruising,” Levi answered.

“Understood sir. We’re a bit full tonight so we might have to put you at the bottom of triage.”

Levi only nodded in acceptance, not wanting to waste any more energy or time coming up with something more polite to say. He leaned his back on the bench and stared up at the ceiling. It would be a long wait.

As soon as Hange came anyway, it would be a less tortuous wait, he was sure. She’d find some way to liven up the waiting room with her own chatter. Or maybe, she would see the line, realize it was a dumb idea and have him go back to the barracks and rest.

***

Levi must have dozed off. He jumped on his seat, biting back the white pain that flashed through him at the abrupt movement that pulled him out of stupor.

“Fucking hell, Hange,” Levi hissed.

Hange made herself at home right next to him. She put a hand to his forehead. “You still look a little tipsy.”

“And being tipsy doesn’t merit a trip to the emergency room,” Levi argued.

“It’s not that…” Hange said. “How long… before they call you?” In reply, Levi looked around the room, then back at her. “It depends how pressing the situation is, right? That’s how hospitals work when too many people are injured at once,” he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Hange stood up, walked ahead to the counter with the nurse. Soon, a doctor approached her and Hange was discussing, gesticulating, and she put a hand to her side.

You’re overreacting. Levi allowed himself a weak smile as he mimicked her actions, pressing his hand to his upper abdomen. He let out a hiss and swallowed once again whatever had climbed up to his throat.

It was as if Hange teleported back to the seat next to him. “I talked to the doctors, explained the situation. They should be coming back here anytime soon.”

Levi didn’t reply. He saw that as a cue for her to leave, focus on whatever was at hand. She was twiddling her thumbs, she started to play with the wood splinters that stuck out of the bench.

And Levi was constantly reminded by her own restlessness, she had things to do, she couldn’t waste her time there when she had documents to prepare, diplomats to please and some locket she promised a young boy.

His insides were on fire, his breaths were coming out uncontrollably but he saw enough reason to muster a firm order. As her friend. He reminded himself. “Go back to the office. I’ll meet you there.”

Hange was surprisingly easy to convince. All he needed to do was get through the quick back and forth that followed.

“I’ll pick you up a bit later?”

“No, just go up. Go back to work.”

“What about---”

“I’ll meet you in your office.”

Soon, Hange had made a quick trip to the counter, had a quick exchange with the nurses.

“I’ll meet you at the office,” Levi said again for emphasis. That second time was notably harder to let out though.

“I told the nurses to alert me if anything happens.”

Overreacter. “I’ll meet you in the office,” Levi said once again.

Hange walked away with nothing more than a nod. At the least, that was one source of pressure out of the way.

***

The wait didn’t last much longer after that. He was led to a room, no time for pleasantries.

There were many others waiting. Soon after that brief check up, there would be someone else waiting. Maybe they were outside the room already.

The doctor asked him to undress and Levi focused on whatever glimpse of his chest he could get then as he removed his shirt. His chest was still a raw red, maybe there were beginnings of bruises among them. Levi couldn't even bring himself to look down for fear of sending another rush of nausea through him.

“Are you feeling nauseous? Any dizziness?”

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Commander said, you got involved in a fist fight…”

“At a bar…”

“And you drank?”

“Just two cups.”

The doctor sighed, handing him back his shirt. “I’ll have the nurse prepare an ice pack for whatever bruises you sustained. You should be clear to leave.” The doctor scribbled something on his notebook.

A few minutes later, Levi had a cold compress and a prescription for rest and painkillers. Fortunately, he had the freedom to not be in the hospital so he headed for Hange’s office, gripping the ice pack just a little harder. It did some work to manage his overall soreness and the throbbing pain in his upper right. Levi bit his lip.

It took him thirty minutes to reach the office. He had expected it to take five minutes. Levi though had taken some breaks in between, leaning back on the wall, taking in breaths much stronger than usual.

He opened the office door with a creak and it looked like Hange hadn’t been too engrossed with whatever she was reading like she usually was. Strangely, she looked up at him, her eyes wide. “You’re here…” She said.

“You don't want me to be here?” Levi asked. He used that blessing of the moment to lean on the door to subtly catch his breath once again.

“No it’s just that… Did the doctor say anything?” Hange stood up from her desk, and quickly gathered the papers in front of her.

“Bed rest and to ice the bruises.”

Hange moved quickly. Levi didn’t even notice her come closer until she had tapped her hand on his shoulder. “I’m gonna work in the bedroom.”

“Wait, not in the office? You can’t concentrate in the bedroom right?”

“I think you should rest there for the night, and I think I’ll be better able to concentrate, knowing you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re resting in the bedroom, that’s an order,” Hange said firmly.

She was playing the commander card again. By the looks of it, she would be hard to sway. She had gathered all her paperwork, slipping the thick wads of paper just under her arm. She had turned off the lights and when Hange walked a few inches ahead with that much confidence while gripping his wrist tightly, he saw no choice but to follow.

***

There was a nice bathtub in the commander’s room and Levi insisted he get enough time to himself to clean up the muck, the alcohol and the sweat that came with the fist fight. Hange had insisted he didn’t lock the door but a need for privacy had him a little naughty and a little assertive.

He pressed on the lock on the door slowly, enough to spit the sound of the click into three careful movements.

For the first time in a while, he was grateful for Hange’s pile of work. She didn’t seem to notice.

Stripping off his clothes was a methodical task and Levi realized, if he focused on the slipping movements more than the actual searing pain that followed, he could get anything done. Maybe even cover the few feet that separated the door from the bathtub.

He started off by biting his lip and bending over just far enough to be able to fiddle comfortably with the faucets. He couldn’t bring himself low enough to reach for the plug but even before that, he had made sure to twist both faucets to full blast so he wouldn’t have to deal with the bath emptying too quickly,

The soap was on the other side of the tub and Levi decided to put off grabbing it until he was submerged on the tub. He had spent just a little too much time staring at the soap bar and maybe the gears in his head were turning a little too fast, coming up with the best way to stretch out and reach for it.

There were more pressing matters at hand like the nausea, the pain at his side, the pounding in his head and his utter inability to focus. When he was dealing with those all at once, it was only natural he would run out of mind space.

The slippery part had been something he failed to consider. The last thing he remembered was stepping onto the tub, his eyes fixed on the soap in front of him. And before he could even consider anything else, his foot lost grip on the slimy bathtub.

Then his feet weren’t connected anywhere and he was free falling.

Everything blurred around him as something pulled him forward, into the water. He instinctively put his hands in front of him, once again neglecting the rim of the tub for one fatal second.

One fatal second that ended with a burst of white hot pain.

Pain had been kind for a while after that, settling as something dull at the back of his mind. It had done wonders as well to consume whatever throbbing sensation was eating at his abdomen then. He soon realized, if he closed his eyes, the pain only settled deeper into him, as something almost comforting.

And he realized there were warmer things, there were kinder things surrounding him, like the water that tickled at his sides.

Hey are you okay? There were knocks on doors.

“I’m fine.” He would have liked to muster. The water though that started with a tickle, continued to climb, up to his ears, then up to his mouth.

Her voice deadened to something faint. Faint shouts? Slams of doors. Faint, but annoying loud.

The water had done its part to blanket him, protecting him from the most annoying sounds.

Then when it deadened into nothing. Levi couldn’t help but be just a little relieved.

***

On most days, Hange was a whirlwind. On other special days, Hange was a cyclone.

Recently though, she had mellowed down into something less assertive, tamer, more predictable than a whirlwind.

Maybe a windy day? Levi would surmise when he thought comparing Hange to weather would be a good way to pass the time.

That had become a strange habit he would indulge occasionally. Something quick. Something subtle. Something he didn’t think too much of until he had enough time to be a little more observant of the weather patterns around him.

It was only when he woke up with bleary eyes, still too groggy to even do much but turn to his side, to the narrow white door, did he realize for himself. It was only when despite all that, Levi was attempting to listen intently to whatever scuffle was on the other side of the door, did he realize, god he missed that Hange.

He made out her voice, much wilder than before, her tone more dynamic and Levi was perking his ears up, attempting to break off from that sleepiness to pick up what he can.

He hadn’t heard that Hange in years. It could have been a dream for all he knew.

“The medical technique from Azumabito…. Saved his life….”

“You wouldn’t have had to rely on it if you caught it early on!”

“It was a busy night commander. He seemed fine at first---”

“Believe me… I understand but… Any other day… I gave you my own speculation doctor.” Hange’s voice had mellowed just a little bit. She had clipped the assertion with a title at least. Still, Levi couldn’t help but note that the tone sounded more like a ‘Hange’ than a ‘Commander’

“Yes--”

“No, listen to me… I may not be a doctor but I think the best course of action there was to have felt for any tenderness on his side right? Did you do that?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then why did you say you did it a while ago? Believe me, if you did, if you caught this early on, I’m sure he wouldn't be in as bad of a state as he is now.”

“Still, we’re grateful we were able to---”

“Catch it on time? He. Could. Have. Died.” There were slams of feet, slams on the wall, accenting every syllable and Hange said every word like it was bitter to her lips. “I’m honestly fucking grateful he slipped on the bathtub. At least, it brought him back here and you had to give him a full body examination. I don’t think you would have done it any other way!”

“Commander, please calm down.” The voice very much sounded like Moblit. A nostalgic but also very wistful thought. Of course it wouldn’t be Moblit. Moblit was long gone.

When Levi listened for a little longer, he picked it out in the midst of Hange’s tirade. “Jean?” Even saying a one syllable name turned out to be an ordeal. He painstakingly turned his head back and stared at the ceiling, blinking a few more times, an attempt to focus.

Focus came quickly a second later, with crashes and slams of wood on wood right after the other. Enough to have Levi shift the weight to his elbows, sit up for a second long enough to realize he couldn’t stay up for longer than that.

“Commander…”

“Jean… Carelessness...negligence….” Hange’s voice was softer than a while ago. Still, it was sharp, words were emphasized. Words he had managed to pick out, just by listening closely.

The door to his room opened and Hange entered. Surprisingly, it didn’t close with a bang. Whatever remnants of anger was still very much apparent on her face.

Hey four eyes. By god, he wanted to call her four eyes. She seemed more like a ‘four eyes.’ The anger, the aftermath had left Hange looking more like the Hange back then. So Levi stared a little longer, willing himself to find that balance between widening his eyes and squinting, just to get the clearest possible picture of her.

Hange’s eyes widened as he caught her gaze but she didn’t look too happy to see him. “You should go to sleep,”

How long was I out? “How long…” He managed to say.

“You had surgery just a few hours ago. You slipped on the bath tub and the door was fucking locked. I had to break it down. And god, Levi, you almost drowned....”

To his shock, he realized he didn’t even remember much of what followed the slams on the door.

Hange continued on, her voice echoing against the four walls. “Hell, you’re not even supposed to be awake.” A bout of realization in her eyes. She put one hand on her mouth. “Was I loud? Did I wake you up?” Hange’s question was laughable and if Levi had any more energy in him, maybe he would have let out a light chuckle.

He spared a subtle smile instead.

“I was huh?” Hange said. “Sorry about that.”

Suddenly, Levi had the motivation to shake his head and spare three words despite the pounding in his head. “I missed that.”

“MIssed what?” Hange asked.

By that point, Levi didn’t have much energy to reply. Instead he let his eyes dart from left to right, trying to take in as much as he can of her at once. He trusted Hange to be perceptive of that at least.

If she did notice it.

“You’re gonna have to take more time to explain that,” Hange admitted. She dropped one light hand on his forehead. “But not now, I’d rather you took this time to rest first.” She mellowed again and Levi had to painfully note that the voice had shifted to something more serious once again.

The faint recall of the old Hange justa moment ago, behind closed doors was all he had.

Don’t be ashamed. Be yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There were too many things Levi would have wanted to say at that moment. The words dried up, crumbling into sawdust even before he could completely open his mouth to say it.

He closed his mouth again, ready to restart the painful process of attempting to speak. Someone knocked and the door opened again way before he even started to feel some strength.

“Commander. The military police came to pick up the documents. I kept them posted on the situation. They’ll look into it now, process the paperwork…” Jean’s eyes were on Hange as he spoke. They soon fell to Levi. “Captain, you’re awake.”

“He’ll be going back to sleep soon,” Hange said, as if it were an indirect order. It wasn’t too hard to follow. Sleep was like a phantom looming over him. He just had to let it do its work.

There were still things he hadn’t completely comprehended and curiosity was good at keeping his surroundings lucid. He reached for Hange’s hand, in one swift motion enough to even leave his hand dizzy.

Hange turned back to him. “Levi, rest.”

He didn’t have to speak. All he had to do was blink, nod his head and Hange pulled the chair to his bedside.

“If I humor you now, will you make sure to rest?”

His energy was limited but if he pickled the right words, the right syllables he could get the answers he needed.

How bad?

Hange was his closest friend for a reason. She knew it at first glance. “I rushed you to the hospital as soon as you fell unconscious.” She put a hand to her head. “You had a concussion… But you know, it wasn't the concussion that was life threatening. Your spleen… it completely ruptured. They had to take it out. You’re gonna be out of it for a while…”

If the survey corps did anymore combat, maybe Levi would have been more worried. Recently, work usually consisted of paperwork anyway.

How long?

“You’ll be here for a few weeks maybe. Then more rest when you get discharged. You’re in really bad shape…” Levi looked behind Hange to see Jean standing awkwardly. There were only too many coherent ways to ask about the kid. He moved his hand up to his chest and drew a shape.

The locket?

“We got the issue with Joseph under control,” Hange said.

Jean stepped forward, moving closer towards the bed. “Commander Hange managed to find some records on them. Joseph’s father used to work with the Reeves company. He got involved in the underground, got blackmailed into dishing a lot of his pay for their silence. With the right investigation, we might be able to turn the tables around, get them to confess and maybe return the money or even more to their son but it’s gonna take a lot of meetings, negotiations---”

As if they had heard the word, some almost recognizable recruit entered. “Commander Zoe, the military police want to clarify a few more things about the papers submitted.”

“Give me a minute.”

“They’re waiting outside, commander.”

Hange sighed. “I’ll meet them now.” She turned back to Jean. “Watch over Levi first.”

Within an hour, Hange had shifted from the angry Hange to the mellow Hange then to the serious commander Hange. Levi watched her go for a few seconds longer, noting the strides that exuded the confidence and professionalism that came with her position.

Jean took up the empty chair Hange left and Levi was slightly ticked that she could have been replaced so fast. Somehow, his head was still keeping the screaming Hange on the other side of the door on replay.

“How are you feeling captain?”

Shitty.

“Commander Hange said you should be resting.”

Levi managed a light nod.

“Please rest,” Jean said.

Levi started to notice it then with him much nearer. His shoulders were tensed up, his hands on his lap and his voice, his smile both more stiff than usual. He furrowed his brows as if to say “are you okay?”

Jean was definitely rattled. “I don’t think I’d wanna see our commander like that again...” He admitted, a weak smile on his face but Jean’s eyes showed fear more than anything else.

No shit. Levi was very familiar with that Hange, having had his own fateful encounters with her over the years.

“Before you woke up… She got mad… Very mad… ”

Oh? Levi mouthed.

Jean was starting to flail his hands a little more. “God she was like a tornado. She was kicking benches. She was slamming walls…”

First time?

“But I don’t blame her… It was really negligence on their part. Apparently Hange had told them a while back to give you a thorough check…” He gave Levi a onceover. “Turns out she was right.”

Levi put one hand to his side, noting the tight bandaging and padding, Even a light tap was enough to send painful sparks through him. He stifled a wince.

“Be careful.” Jean clutched his hand, guiding it back down to the bed. “She might just get angry again if you disobey her.”

She wouldn’t. Hange didn’t get angry like that anymore. He couldn’t help but think though, he would have liked that. Levi didn’t let that thought out as anything more than a surreptitious smile. He looked back up at the ceiling and allowed himself a ragged exhale.

“She won’t,” Levi managed to say. “She mellowed down already.” The last few syllables came out more like a raspy cough.

“Captain, don’t hurt yourself.”

When Levi bit at his lip, cleared his throat, he realized he could muster a few more words. He gave Jean an indignant look.

Jean sighed, dropping his shoulders in defeat. “Something tells me you’ve seen her like this before. You know her best... What makes her angry? You know, so we can avoid it in the future.”

Negligence. Competence. When hundreds of lives were on the line.

Levi could have answered Jean’s question clearly or maybe it came out as mumbles. When everything was starting to blur against each other, it didn’t make it worth clarifying how much left his lips.

“When hundreds of lives are on the line?” Jean asked.

Usually.

With Jean’s question hovering above them in silence for a second longer, he started to doubt himself. There was negligence, incompetence involved but hundreds of lives on the line? He was just one life.

Maybe he had been a little too hasty in concluding what went on on the other side of the door. Those last few moments before he let exhaustion take over, Levi became aware of the taste of sawdust on his lips, the smell of alcohol and his own utter sleepiness.

“I’ll have the nurses come in to refill your pain medication. For now, you should rest.”

Right. He was on medications. So his mind started to shake with questions. Ones he would have liked to answer before he gave in to the trappings of sleep.

How much of what went on behind the doors was real? Did Hange really kick, slam furniture? Did she scream like a mad man? Was she a full blown cyclone?

He would never know. Besides, there was a door between them. All he had was sounds, his own facilities marred by whatever medication they were pumping him with and his own memory to make conclusions for himself.

He fell back to bed with one conclusion, one he had built for himself over the years and came back to him as one musing before he fell back to sleep.

When Hange was angry, very angry, she was a full blown tornado of screaming, shouting, kicking, rambling. She was a full blown tornado that had the rare quality of just making sense.

Her anger, that came once a blue moon, always seemed to have a point.

At first, Levi had managed to summarize the most anger inducing situations to two: One, any utterly stupid move that Hange cannot seem to understand which could cost hundreds, or thousands of lives. Two, utter negligence that could cost hundreds or thousands of lives.

Maybe there was a third anger inducing situation that only bared its fangs then, powerful enough to release itself even outside the commander facade. And maybe it didn’t have to be a hundred lives on the line for that monster to show itself.

Half asleep, his memories a blur and with the white door between them, he couldn’t be too sure if that had really been the cyclone he had witnessed a few times before. So he left it as speculation, something to indulge.

He focused instead on sleeping, on the rustle of pages and the wind that streamed through the window.

Reminiscing on the old Hange could wait. He still had lots of recovering to do.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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whiterosebrian · 3 years ago

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Letter To Democrats

I felt the need to do something besides raising awareness of environmental, indigenous, and socio-economic issues. I’ve decided to compose and then mail multiple printed copies of a letter to multiple politicians across the USA. I did wonder if I should copy-and-paste the letter to social media profiles like I did for the one that I wrote to President Biden. Ultimately, I decided that posting the letter would serve two purposes. First, I wanted to let indigenous activists know that they have another willing accomplice. Second, this could provide a decent template for anyone who also feels a need to write to political leaders and put pressure on them to take much-needed action. Without any further ado…

Greetings,

I am writing a generic letter to send to assorted politicians across the United States. For reasons that I will articulate over the course of this letter, I felt a serious need to address as many members of the American political leadership as possible. I do not intend to call you out personally. If you do take it as a personal callout, please consider why you feel that way.

The reports of wildfires, heat waves, and floods have filled many, many observers with existential terror. Some have even expressed utter despair over whether the world will be inhabitable by any form of life. At times I have been tempted to join the despair, to give up hope of ever leaving a beautiful legacy for future generations. For the sake of all the people of the world, I must fight that temptation. I need to do my part to fight for the future.

There are a large number of activists trying to protect the environment. However, they need help from people who have the power to make really concrete changes. That is why I am writing to you and other Democratic politicians. That does sound very partisan, but the sad fact is that the Republican party is almost a lost cause at this point. I wish to be proven wrong about that. The fact is that it already engaged in brutal obstruction during the Obama administration. A sinister side to the base already started emerging during that time as well. With the rise of Donald Trump, the much of its leadership and nearly all of its electoral base have become increasingly unwilling to offer the kind of compromise needed for a functional democracy.

The Democratic party as a whole has been criticized as very weak in opposing the radicalizing Republican Party. The current President has spoken of a desire for restoring national unity. That desire is certainly laudable in itself when Trump blatantly stoked resentment and division. Again, however, the Republican party and its core supporters have shown a complete unwillingness to work with any opponents in any way. They view their opponents as subversive enemies that need to be crushed underfoot. The Republican party has inched towards neo-fascism at a time when neo-fascism is mainstreaming around the world. The Republican party has also already been beholden to the selfish interests of major corporations for decades. It even seeks to magnify the already dire influence of corporations chiefly responsible for pollution. Its propaganda outlets outright deny pollution and mislead millions of people.

Some Democratic politicians have also been criticized as going along with corporate interests and watering down legislation meant to oppose corporate influence. By now it has become clear that corporate elites do not have the safety of the world and its human and nonhuman denizens in mind. By now it has become clear that they must be reined in for the greater good. The only language that major corporations even comprehend is money. Here I arrive at the first main point of this letter: I urge you to work with other Democratic leaders to divest from major corporations and their executives, especially those most directly responsible for polluting the Earth. I’ve also seen proposals that corporations be forced to contribute to removing as much pollution as possible. Quickening the transition away from fossil fuels is crucial.

However, alternate energy sources are not enough. Switching from gas-powered cars to electric cars is not enough. Building solar or wind farms in place of coal-burning power plants is not enough. Extraction and consumption cause their own serious problems. The problem of environmental degradation has roots that are far too deep and complicated to address here, though I will touch upon one later. Going hand-in-hand with corporate influence are the bad social and urban infrastructures that do not encourage sustainable lifestyles. I barely even know where to begin in this regard. Cities are too often built for cars and not people. Most people have to drive carbon-spewing cars to work at jobs that are not well-suited to their needs in order to pay their bills and feed their families. Too many people are left in poverty or near-poverty, some people are more-or-less isolated in suburbs, and a tiny handful are virtually untouchable in their wealth and privilege. Healthy food is not always accessible, and even when it is, it often has to be shipped very far from the source.

My second main point is this: in addition to transitioning to cleaner energy, the very infrastructure of our society needs to reformed. Local communities need to be lifted up so that they can better care for themselves without the need for distant figures constantly having to provide for them through convoluted supply chains. It’s true that right-wingers speak of “small government” with the unspoken agenda of leaving corporate oligarchs and ultra-conservative clergy to rule over ordinary human beings. Nonetheless, I believe that, at this point, government needs to assist in rebuilding communities so that they can eventually leave denizens to stand on their feet and care for each other. The pandemic, along with the poor responses of many local officials, has shown the need for communities to engage in mutual care.

I will confess that this exhortation is the vaguest one in this letter. I lack in-depth education on such matters. I bring it up in order to further nudge you in a direction that would be far better for the Earth and its people. I can offer one example of what must be done that is slightly clearer: helping communities establish gardens and small-scale farms to better feed themselves.

On a very important side note, this nation needs to divest from the military as well. The largest and most powerful military in history is known to be among the largest polluters on earth. Too many politicians seem to ignore how massive the military already is an insist on subsidizing it at the cost of actually building a peaceful and prosperous society.

I further wish to discuss the need to center indigenous peoples in renewing our society. No, I am no indigenous myself. I simply wish to point to their wisdom. Yes, the sagely magical Indian who is one with Mother Earth is a crude stereotype, and I have no intention of reinforcing it. With that said, I follow a number of indigenous writers, activists, spiritualists, and influencers on social media. I learned about how many indigenous people are attempting to reconnect to previously outlawed and hidden heritages. The stereotype could be rooted in reality.

In most cases, those heritages include animistic spiritualities, in which aspects of the natural world, from plants to animals to waters to stones, are seen as having spirits. Furthermore, these aspects of the natural world are seen as relatives to humans. I should note how some well-meaning white people, wishing to bond with the earth instead of submitting to organized religion, appropriate these indigenous spiritualties and associated practices. Indigenous writers will encourage such people to instead delve into their own pre-Christian heritages, which have similar animistic philosophies, however obscured by time they may be. I have actually been doing just that—though I won’t elaborate because I don’t want to center myself.

You may be asking, what is the relevance said common thread of the spiritualities of indigenous peoples? That animism seems to go hand-in-hand with methods of land care that developed over generations of trial and error, along with the principles behind those methods. With the subjugation and expulsion (and worse) of the land’s original caretakers, though, these practices fell into obscurity. The most dramatic example, perhaps, is the suppression of controlled burnings on the western coastline leading to the wildfires that we have seen in recent years. Indeed, the different lands of different indigenous nations need their own subtly distinct approaches, based on ecosystems, geographies, local histories, and general senses of place. Indigenous activists and figureheads are calling upon governments to heed their words on not only conservation but also regeneration.

One of the main demands that indigenous activists make is for the return of their lands, full sovereignty over them, and the facilitation of cultural revival. Yes, that is a very simple manner of justice and righting a historic wrong. It has become evident that their wisdom is a crucial piece of the puzzle of solving environmental problems as well. Simple “colorblind” or “globalized” liberalism won’t suffice when working for social or environmental justice. Indigenous activists argue that colonialism is at the root of so many of our world’s problems. Many of them even outright state that the “colonial state” in itself is a problem. I can see how colonialism has promoted the rise of an all-devouring capitalism and perpetuated it. The grim historical fact of how the enslavement of Black people and the elimination of indigenous peoples contributed to building this nation remains a grim historical fact.

I myself am figuring out the world and learning many truths, but I am sympathetic to people who have borne the brunt of colonialism. I welcome the humanistic achievements of modernity and utterly oppose fundamentalism and fascism, I assure you, but I’ve come to accept that the modern world is broken. Simple progress won’t heal the world. “Big government” certainly has a role to play in mobilizing the needed social changes, such as what I’ve alluded to above, but the “colonial state” needs to ultimately divest its own power.

I’ll try to summarize my points now. Major corporations and economic elites need to be drastically reined in and disempowered (along with the military). The transition to renewable energies needs to be quickened—but also needs to be accompanied by drastic changes to infrastructures and supply chains so as to result in less extraction and consumption. Localized communities need to be empowered so they can better care for themselves without much out faraway aid. Indigenous peoples need to be given their lands back, be elevated to leadership roles in caring for and regenerating said lands, and be empowered so they can rebuild their cultures. Settlers should learn from them as well. In the end, the state and the socio-economic system that it has upheld need to recede—not for billionaires or grand inquisitors or dictators, but for ordinary people and the earth. In truth, humans are meant to be a part of nature, and the generational challenge is for humanity to reconcile with the rest of nature.

This all may sound idealistic or radical. This past summer has shown us that we shouldn’t settle for anything less than radical social change. This nation, which has been a major world power for over a century, needs to be radically reimagined. This all may sound vague as well. I have little education in politics and governance apart from what I’ve tried to learn for myself across the internet. That is all the more reason for people like you—people with more real-world power than I—to push along radical social change. This letter is meant to raise awareness of your duty as a leader. A leader is meant to be a guide, not a dominator. There’s a chance that you could be recorded in history as a leader who did what was necessary to make the world’s healing and renewal possible.

Thank you.

You may call me Brian Solomon Whiterose.

#environment #environmentalism #indigenous rights #indigenous people #us politics #social justice #social reform #colonialism #capitalism #long text

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coffeestainsandcashmere · 4 years ago

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Let No Man Steal Your Thyme - An Older Dramione Story, Part Two

Since folks seemed to like the first part (thank you so much for letting me know, by the way! It’s genuinely quite scary flinging stories into the dusky blue void of Tumblr, especially if you’re relatively new to contributing to a fandom...!!), here’s Part Two.

Premise:

Draco, eight months after becoming a widower, nearly loses his son too in a vicious attack at Malfoy Manor. In the aftermath, while he’s being questioned by the aurors, there’s no one to look after little Scorpius, who just won’t stop howling. In desperation, and remembering how good Hermione had been with his kids, Harry brings the baby up to her office. In the end, the only thing that will calm the child is the soft hum of Hermione’s voice as she sings to him. Of course, that would be how Draco Malfoy finds her, wouldn’t t it? And then, eleven years later, Hermione meets him again and ends up asking him to lunch at the Leaky…

(Warnings in Part One (and in any future chapters) for past Ron/Hermione, and implied infertility. No explicit Ron-bashing, but it’s implied that their relationship couldn’t take the strain and he looked elsewhere. I may develop it later, but it won’t be a Ron-bashing fic. They’re just ultimately incompatible in this universe).

Read Part One here

Part Two - Lunch for Two at the Leaky

___

Hermione, being Hermione, arrived at the Leaky Cauldron just over half an hour before she was due to meet Malfoy there. After getting a large glass of dry white wine from the bar and settling into a table with a view of the doorway, she took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then delved into her infinite handbag of holding to draw out a book.

Twenty nine minutes later, a soft snort made her jump, and she looked up, blinking, to find Draco Malfoy towering over her table, a tiny smirk playing at the corners of his lips. “Some things never change, do they Granger?” he said. He was still in that beautiful navy blue suit that fitted him so damned perfectly he could have strolled straight out of the glossy adverts in Witch Weekly, and it made her mouth go unexpectedly dry, and her brain rather blank too.

Her cheeks flushed and she opened her mouth, but promptly realised she had nothing to say in rebuttal, so closed it again with a click of her teeth and shrugged. “I guess not.”

“You want another one?” he asked.

“Another book?” she blurted, frowning.

To her surprise, Malfoy barked a short laugh, silver eyes glinting. “No, Granger,” he said with an odd intonation. “Drink.”

She glanced down at her nearly-empty glass, and pursed her lips. Raising one eyebrow, she turned her face to look at him slightly askance and smirked. “Just what kind of degenerate do you take me for?” she parroted back at him.

“Of course. The ex-Minister for Magic can’t be seen drinking herself into a stupor at midday with a former Death Eater now, can she?” he sneered, the humour vanishing. “I’ll be right back.”

Blowing the rising tension from her lungs, she hoped this wasn’t going to be a huge mistake and closed her eyes a moment, then returned her book to her bottomless handbag. With nothing to do until Malfoy returned — if he even returned, of course; he could have just bolted for the back door and disapparated — she cursed and fussed with her cuticles until the crisp click of dragonhide leather Oxfords rose above the low lunchtime murmur in the pub.

“That was ungracious of me,” he said as he sat down. “I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven,” she said quickly. “I’m a touch nervous too.”

Malfoy went still at that, but instead of unleashing another snippy comment at her expense, he just twitched his lips and nodded slightly in acknowledgement. “To the most unusual of days,” he said, raising his own glass of white.

She clinked the remnants of hers against his, and added, “And to new beginnings, I think.” She looked at her watch and smiled. “They’ll be just south of Birmingham by now, I suspect.”

“Who will?” he asked after sipping his wine. She half expected him to make some kind of remark about its inferior vintage, but he seemed happy enough with it.

“The Express,” she said. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten dear Scorpius already?” she teased.

He shook his head. “No. But you’re as hard to keep up with as you ever were, Granger.”

“I don’t recall you ranking too many places behind me, Malfoy. And you beat me in Potions every year bar one, though I rather suspect Snape had a hand in keeping my marks down there…”

He shrugged noncommittally.

“Which house do you think Scorpius will find his way into?” she asked. “Slytherin like his father?”

“Probably,” Malfoy said ruefully. “He can be a cunning little shit when he wants to be.”

She had to smile at that. “Tell me about him?”

Malfoy sighed and took another sip of wine. “He’s smart,” he began, somewhat hesitantly, as if he thought he might bore Hermione if he said too much about his son.

“No surprises there,” she scoffed playfully. “Is he a future seeker too, or do the similarities end with the brains?”

A very slight flush blossomed on Malfoy’s ice-white cheeks. “I didn’t know you even remembered I played quidditch, Granger.”

Her eyebrows rose and she tried not to snort wine out of her nostrils. Malfoy had looked devastating in his quidditch kit as he’d grown into it, not that she’d ever admitted that to anyone. He’d been a right arse too back at school, no matter how beautiful his own had looked in his flying gear, so her admiration then had been purely aesthetic. “Yes, Malfoy,” she sighed. “I do remember that. I also remember the Slytherin team being quite the thorn in our side for most of our time there…”

He hitched a lopsided smirk and took a sip of wine.

The way he held the glass in long, steady fingers made her core heat slightly and she had to look away. The reaction took her off-guard. It had been years since she’d felt even the slightest flicker of sexual attraction for anyone.

“Are you admitting that we were actually good, Granger?”

Hermione rolled her brown eyes and shook her head, causing a cascade of curls to tumble into her face like an avalanche set off by the merest touch. Shoving it all back out of her eyes, she said, “Much as I’d like to say it was only daddy’s money and a set of fancy brooms that gave you an edge, it wasn’t. Flint was still a dirty rotten cheater, but half of you were pretty darned good. And it doesn’t even take a quidditch player to see that. So how old was Scorpius when you had him on a broom of his own?”

A cloudy look passed over his eyes and he blinked slowly. “Four.”

“Four!”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Granger. I didn’t plonk him on a broom, slap the bristles, and send it racing off into the middle of Wiltshire with my son and heir alone. He rode in my lap with me until he was seven or so, and even then, I enchanted his broom not to go above five feet. He was furious about that,” he chuckled. “Naturally, he tried everything he could think of to undo the enchantment, but in the end he resorted to getting one of the house elves to undo it. She was devastated when she realised quite what she’d done and came to me immediately.”

Hermione’s lip curled involuntarily at the mention of house elves. “So long as you didn’t make her iron her own hands in punishment,” she said before she could stop herself.

Malfoy blinked, blanching and obviously taken aback. “No, Granger,” he breathed, and after a long pause he added, “I am not my father.”

The words rang in the air between them and something unpleasantly akin to shame coiled in her belly, soured by the wine on an empty stomach. “Now it’s my turn to apologise for being ungracious,” she said. “I’m sorry. I know you’re not your father. I’ve known that for a very long time.”

Before Malfoy could open his mouth to reply, Old Tom shuffled over and stuck some menus under their noses. “You said you was stayin’ for lunch, ma’am, but neither of you’s collected a menu,” he said before disappearing.

“Ma’am,” she repeated in a stage whisper to Malfoy. “I never got used to that at the Ministry. Makes me sound like some old frump.” A tiny, bitter snort escaped her and she added, “Well, if the shoe fits.”

“Granger, please,” Malfoy drawled. “You are anything but an ‘old frump’.”

Drawn up short by the unexpectedly open compliment, she looked at him, lips softly parted.

“What?” he asked, looking like he thought she might hex his balls off if he moved so much as a muscle. “Surely Weasley must have told you the same thing once or twice? I know the man is about as artless as a grindylow, but…”

The sudden mention of Ron’s name nearly gave her emotional whiplash, and she huffed a tiny laugh. “We’re not together anymore. Surely you heard?”

“I hadn’t,” he said, voice flat. “I’m sorry.”

“You must be the only person in the entirety of Wizarding Britain who missed that then,” she groused, opening the menu and taking in the options without really seeing them. “Rita Skeeter’s nasty little protégée wrote an entire Prophet article on our breakup.”

“I haven’t exactly kept up to date with current affairs,” he said awkwardly, lowering his gaze to the menu.

“Current? This was eleven years ago, Malfoy.” She fixed him with a wary stare and whispered, “Don’t tell me Ginny was right? You really are a recluse?”

“This would be my first public outing in a very long time, yes,” he said carefully without looking up. “But I do venture forth from my little fortress every so often. I was at Theo’s anniversary do a few months ago.”

“I missed that,” she said. “I was supposed to be there, but Harry had a crisis with his brood. You’d never believe it - there was a cursed photo-frame stuffed behind a piece of panelling in the drawing room at Grimmauld, and Lily managed not only to find it but to activate it. She was stuck inside it for hours and Harry was beside himself, but we got her out and she was alright in the end.”

“Grimmauld,” Malfoy murmured, and his silver eyes rose to meet hers. “My aunt’s family home?”

She nodded and then the knut dropped. “I forgot you’re a Black too by blood.”

His mouth twitched and he nodded. “I haven’t been there since I was a very small child. I’m assuming they redecorated…”

“Thoroughly.”

“Not thoroughly enough,” he quipped. “That awful tapestry still knocking around?”

“God no,” she scoffed. “That was one of the first things to go. Along with the collection of shrunken house elf heads and the troll skull that screamed at you if you got too close to it. There was even a boggart in the basement, if you can believe the cliché. Anyway,” she said, keen to change topics, “You were proving to me that you aren’t a complete hermit. Was Theo’s party really the last thing you went out for?”

He seemed a little bashful as he nodded. “I… I don’t exactly find myself welcome everywhere, even now, Granger,” he said dryly. He’d nearly finished his wine, and when Tom hobbled over to take their food order, he asked for a second glass, in which Hermione joined him.

“Guess we are degenerates after all,” she said as she met his eyes over the empty table.

“The people behind you certainly seem to think very little of your choice of prandial company, Granger,” he said flatly, interlacing his long fingers and arching a pale eyebrow.

Where at Hogwarts he’d had pale, pristine hands, now she saw innumerable scars and nicks across his knuckles, and they were undoubtedly the strong, steady hands of a grown man, with none of the softness of youth. Heat bloomed across her neck and face, and to distract herself she looked over her shoulder to glower at the people shooting them scandalised looks across the dark pub.

“Screw them,” she muttered. “They have no idea about anything anyway.”

If Malfoy was puzzled by her outburst, he didn’t show it.

They shared their meal and spoke easily enough about Hermione’s astonishing and unprecedented rise through the ministry, and how she’d cracked one day — the details of which she chose not to divulge — and had quit and decided to open a bookshop instead. “It’s been so much more fulfilling,” she finished, slightly breathless.

“A bookshop?” he smiled, eyes glittering.

“I know, I know,” she growled, gesticulating with her dessert spoon in between delicious mouthfuls of Florian’s ice cream which the Leaky now sold. “Could I be any more cliché?”

With a graceful shrug of one shoulder, Malfoy just said, “I think it suits you. And if it makes you happy, why not?”

“What makes you happy then?” she asked before her brain had caught up with the question. “I mean…” she flushed hot again. “I just wondered what you do up at the Manor all day.”

“Well,” he said evenly around a slice of apple tart, “Until this morning, I largely oversaw Scorpius general education, but I have been involved in a number of other projects here and there too.”

“Projects?”

“Mmm,” he said, but clearly wasn’t in the mood to elaborate and she didn’t press.

“Well, Theo’s having drinks at his place on Friday… you should come.”

“Which place?”

“He has more than one place? I thought he closed Nott Manor up for good?”

Malfoy smirked. “He has a number of places, Granger.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling stupid. “Well, his usual one here in London, I suppose… He didn’t tell me anything different…” She set her spoon down and sat back. “Merlin, I’m full,” she laughed. “So, will you come?”

“Do you always invite strays to other people’s parties?”

“Do you always deflect social invitations in the hopes that they’ll go away if you ignore them long enough?” she countered with an even stare.

Malfoy’s spine stiffened a touch at that, but the look which settled onto his face could only be chalked up to respect, and he allowed himself another flinty smile. “Touché,” he said. “Yes, it usually works well enough.”

“Not this time.”

“Evidently,” he said with crisp enunciation. “Fine. I will consider attending.”

She snickered almost childishly at that. “You make it sound like it’s some fancy black tie do that you might condescend to attend if the mood strikes…”

“I don’t know what a ‘black tie do’ is, but I am considering condescending to attend all the same.”

“Fair enough. And a black tie event is a Muggle thing. It’s like dress robes for Muggles.”

“Ah, I see. Thank you.”

And with that, their conversation stalled for the first time all afternoon. Hermione looked down at her watch and gasped. “God, Malfoy, it’s been three and a half hours!”

“I’m surprised you lasted five minutes if I’m honest,” he said quietly.

She frowned and delved into her handbag again, looking for her coin purse. “You fancy taking a walk to shake all this food down?” she asked, but Malfoy was already shaking his head.

“Unfortunately, I really should get going. Please, Granger, let me pay for this. It’s been an unexpected pleasure on a day that would otherwise have been very grey indeed.”

His sincerity struck her like a physical blow, and she could hardly respond as Tom came over as if summoned by the clink of money, and Malfoy smoothly left a handful of coins on the tray and told Tom to keep the change.

“Very well, M’lord,” Tom said, bowing slightly as he left.

“‘M’lord’?” Hermione asked and Malfoy immediately rolled his eyes.

“I really wish people wouldn’t call me that. Mercifully it doesn’t happen all that often. I usually find myself on the receiving end of far less gracious epithets.”

“You are a lord though? Your father wasn’t a lord, was he?”

“No. It’s Lord Black, technically. My father had no claim to the title, being a Malfoy, but with my mother’s blood, I inherited the title. Needless to say, I don’t bandy it around if I can help it.”

“I see,” she said, rising from her seat. “Well, thank you for lunch. You really didn’t have to pay though.”

“I know,” he said shyly as he stood with the grace of a lifelong seeker. “Still, it was a pleasure.”

She smoothed her clothes out, trying to avoid feeling like that frumpy old matron beside the lean, tall figure of Draco Malfoy, and pursed her lips. “See you Friday then?”

Before he’d obviously thought about it, Malfoy nodded. “Friday,” he said, and then realised he’d committed himself and laughed softly with a knowing twinkle in his eyes. “Friday,” he said again.

Hermione held out her hand to him and he surprised her yet again by taking it delicately in his fingers and raising her knuckles to his lips. The faintest brush of a kiss against her skin set her tingling all over and she nearly gasped, flushing a dark crimson.

“Good day, Granger,” he said, and stalked from the pub.

Outside on Diagon Alley’s cobbled streets, he disapparated without looking back.

___

If you liked where it’s going and want to see more, do let me know! Either by reblogging this or sending me an ask.

Part Three

writing masterlist | Ao3

#dramione #draco malfoy x hermione granger #hermione granger x draco malfoy #older dramione #older Draco Malfoy #older hermione granger #older draco malfoy x hermione granger #older hermione granger x older draco malfoy #scorpius malfoy #draco malfoy and scorpius #draco and scorpius

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shireness-says · 4 years ago

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Coming Soon: Seeking Shelter, Seeking Solace

1895. Emma Swan answers an ad in the paper from a man looking for a wife in order to flee Boston - only to arrive in rural Storybrooke, Minnesota and discover that her intended husband is dead. Left with no other options, Emma takes a position at the local tavern alongside the sullen, dark-haired barkeep with demons of his own. But what will she do when the forces she’s worked so hard to escape reappear in the new life she’s building, forcing her to turn to this unlikely savior for aid?

Presenting my contribution to @csjanuaryjoy! Which, true to form, has spiraled from an anticipated 15k for the whole fic to 10k for one chapter, and the other two unfinished. I promise some delicious marriage of convenience, pining, and even some action. This will begin posting in a few days, so let me know if you want to be tagged! In the meantime, enjoy this preview:

Emma can’t help but fidget in her seat as her train tears across the Midwestern landscape. Though this was her choice, she still can’t help but be nervous; after all, this is a very different world from Boston, the only home she’s ever known. She’s used to bustling streets and the lap of the waves against the docks at the harbor, not these miles after miles of plains and crop fields. It’s almost enough to make her second guess this whole thing.

It’s not a mistake though, she knows. She’d needed to get out of Boston, as quickly as possible, and this had been the best of a variety of bad options. Emma has never been particularly romantic, even as a little girl, but in the few imaginings she’d allowed herself of her future, answering a newspaper ad for a wife had never factored in. Then again, her fantasies had never anticipated the particular situation she’s trying to escape: a man who wouldn’t hear no, who was willing to pursue her relentlessly, from city to city, always a threat on her tail. The security of marriage, and of distance, had only made sense. And then again, she’s never been sentimental ; true love isn’t something she anticipated in a union, or even particularly believed in, for that matter.

The man she’s travelling to meet seems kind, she consoles herself with knowing. Emma hadn’t been particularly picky in selecting a man from the handful of querants in the paper, but Graham Humbert seems to be a good one. He’s the sheriff of a small town in Minnesota, who found himself lonely and wanting companionship.

I can darn my own socks and cook my own dinner, though neither with any exemplary skill, he had written. I’m not looking for someone to look after me in that way, regardless of what my friends’ wives think; I’d hire a lady to do the cleaning if that was the issue. I’m searching for someone to speak with at the end of a long day, someone to listen and to laugh with. I don’t believe myself to be a sweeping romantic, but I will be happy to give and receive a kind of gentle affection. Maybe we can come to love each other in time; I would be happy with that too, though I am not counting on it.

She’d liked that about him, that amiable practicality so evident even in his letters. It’s what had made her agree to travel to Minnesota with the intent to marry him, really - the feeling that they viewed a union in the same way. There will be a trial period, of course, a month during which to decide whether the two of them will suit each other before anything is formalized - but Emma is determined to make it work. What other choice does she have?

The train will be pulling into Storybrooke soon - a tiny dot on the map, where Emma doubts anyone else will be alighting. All of her belongings have been tightly packed into two measly carpetbags in order to, hopefully, start a new life. Maybe it’s foolish, but Emma had splurged on a new, sleek jacket before she’d left the city, a cheery blue to pair with her navy skirt and white blouse in an attempt to impress. Mostly, she wants to look neat more than anything else: a capable woman, one who won’t be afraid to adapt to a new life with a minimum of fuss, one who won’t make Sheriff Humbert’s life more difficult. Pretty is of secondary concern.

She sees the town coming long before the train pulls into the tiny station, roofs and chimneys rising above the flat landscape and copious corn fields. Somewhere in this state, she knows, are hundreds and thousands of lakes; however, they’re nowhere to be seen here. Storybrooke itself is a bare cluster of buildings seeming to group around a single main street, with homesteads and farm plots doubtlessly stretching out to the surrounding area. It’s a whole different world from what she’s used to, but that’s the entire point, really; no one will think to look for her here, in the rural midwest as the wife of a sheriff.

When the train finally pulls into what passes for a station, a single cramped building with barely enough room for a ticket office and a luggage closet, a man is waiting on the platform, sheltered from the late-spring sun by an awning off the station roof. The star-shaped badge on his coat and the way he shifts nervously from foot to foot make Emma think this must be the anticipated Sheriff Humbert. His hair is rather more golden than the sandy blonde-brown color Mr. Humbert had tried to describe in his letters, but Emma supposes that’s to be expected. She likely didn’t give a perfect description of her appearance either.

Quickly, she gathers her bags and alights to the station platform with the assistance of a young porter. The man waiting quickly doffs his hat, playing with the brim in another nervous gesture. “Miss Swan?”

Carefully, Emma arranges her face into something she hopes passes as an amiable smile. “Yes, that’s me. And you’ll be Sheriff Humbert, I presume?”

“I - well, no,” the man who isn’t Graham Humbert stutters out. “I’m David Nolan, actually. One of the deputies here.”

Unexpected - but there are countless excellent reasons that Deputy Nolan might be sent instead. Trouble can happen even in a small town, dozens of minor disputes that can somehow only be settled by the sheriff himself. “In that case, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Nolan. I must admit, I was expecting Mr. Humbert. Pardon my mistake.”

“About that —” Deputy Nolan cuts himself off, looking curiously uncomfortable. It sets Emma a bit on edge, but there’s no way to dance around it - not when she doesn’t have all the information.

“Yes?”

Deputy Nolan swallows heavily, visibly, his fingers tightening around the brim of his hat again before he drags his eyes to meet hers. “I’m sorry to tell you, Miss Swan, but Graham - Sheriff Humbert - died two days ago.”

Of all the things she thought he might say, all the ways she imagined this might go, that certainly wasn’t one of them.

#cs ff #cs january joy #cs fanfiction #captain swan #Seeking Shelter Seeking Solace #my writing #marriage of convenience

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queenoftheworldisdead · 4 years ago

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Homecoming part 2

Summary: Slow burn. You are forced to move back to your home town due to the pandemic. When your high school tormentors return to remind you why you never wanted to come back. This gets darker as it goes. I’m not a good writer folks sorry.

Warning: forced masturbation, groping

Any critiques to make me better are more than welcome.

Dark Steve Roger x black reader and [Dark Bucky x black reader comes in later], Cop AU

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4; Chapter 5

After the run in with Steve and Bucky you were overly nervous when you finally made it to the grocery store. Even with your mask on you felt as if eyes were on you. You kept your head low and shopped for your needs as quickly as possible.

When you arrived back home you parked and got to unloading everything by yourself. It took two trips of you waddling back and forth before you finished. All the while you felt your purse buzz, you knew who it was, but you didn't want to think about it.

Had he followed you to the store? It was as if he knew you were home by now.

*Buzz Buzz

Every buzz sending a cold bolt throughout your body. It had been years since you ran off to the city, but it was as if seeing you today rekindled a spark in him.

*Buzz Buzz

Grabbing your bag from the table you rifled through the purse to find the culprit. As you suspected it all came from the same unknown number.

MSG unknown number: Hey Spit Roast WELCOME HOME!

The nickname once again filling you with anxiety and dread

MSG unknown number: Did you miss me? MSG unknown number: I missed you. MSG unknown number: I'm so excited to spend time with you again

You didn't want to think about what he used to do, but as more messages came in the more flash backs flooded in. The memory of the terror and torment he bestowed on you. Throwing your phone back in your purse you try an sooth the knot in your stomach.

*Buzz Buzz

MSG Steve: *sent image[dick] MSG Steve: *sent image[dick] MSG Steve: *sent image[dick] MSG You: Please stop. Im trying to have dinner

After your plea Steve surprisingly stopped. You were able to start cooking in peace. Calling your uncle to the kitchen for dinner you both sit and eat.

He didn't ask how you were, because he could tell by looking at you. He finished his plate while you just stared at yours. You hadn't even noticed he left the kitchen until you heard the sound of the t.v. turning back on. Snapping out of it you clean the kitchen before heading back to your room.

Throwing your bag on your dresser before laying out on the bed. You tried to control you're breathing, tried to push him out, but the memories of him were relentless. He was living rent free in your mind and there was no way to evict him.

*Buzz Buzz

You knew the reprieve wouldn't last. Sitting up you walked to the dresser to grab your discarded bag to retrieve the phone.

MSG Steve: Show me what's mine

He wanted to you to expose yourself to him. Refusing him wasn't an option.

Maybe if I send him some random girl from the internet.

You searched on your phone to find someone. It didn't take long to find a girl that kind of looked like you. Cropping it just right you could probably pull it off. Your heart was pounding hard in your chest as you readied yourself to press send.

Holding your breath you waited. Hoping he just might fall for it.

*Buzz Buzz

MSG Steve: ☹️😡 MSG Steve: I know you Y/N don't play with me.

You fucked up. He did know you. He had remembered you. He had violated you so many times how could he forget. You tried to be slick and you blew it completely. Your hands trembled as you remembered how harsh he was to you when you didn't play right.

What little food you had didn't stay long as you dropped your phone and made a mad dash to the waste bin by your nightstand. As you emptied your gut you hoped that your uncle was too preoccupied to notice.

How after so many years was he still hell bent on tormenting you?

After a few more dry heaves you wiped your mouth with your sleeve. Staring at the phone from the floor. You heard another buzz and braced yourself for the consequences.

Rising to your feet you walk over to the bed and pick it up again. With a deep breath you read it.

MSG Steve: be ready at 7pm and wear a dress 😘 MSG Steve: nite!

*Bang Bang Bang

After a few minutes the front door swung open, your uncle filling the door frame staring Steve down. Both men visibly annoyed at the sight of each other.

"And to what do I owe the honor of your visit Steve?" Uncle Nick inquired.

"Tsk... Ha...its officer Rogers these Days Nick." Steve corrected with a smirk.

"It's General Fury last time I check my ranking" Uncle Nick parried.

Nick knew that Steve contributed to your grade school torment, though he never new the full extent. He did try to help you, tried to get them to stop, but he couldn't. You broke his heart when you skipped town, but he understood it was for the best.

"I'm here for Y/N" Steve huffed clenching his jaw.

"Oh really" he nodded, cocking a brow.

"Yes... really" his says, his mouth closes in a tight line, taking one step forward. Puffing out his chest taking a step forward, crossing his arms.

"Why don't you just go away and leave her alone?"

"Unc!" You shout from the kitchen.

"I don't want anyone else to have her" He answered Fury unabashed.

"Unc, it's fine" you say walking up from behind him, trying to wedged through the door and his body.

"You sure about this?" He asked in a hushed tone over his shoulder still blocking you.

Inhaling and sighing slowly you reply "yes."

Side stepping to let you pass you could feel his concern on your back as he watched you file out. Steve's face turns from stern to wholesome as you walked up to him. Placing a hand on your lower back you fight the urge to turn and run inside. Looking over his shoulder to Fury with a smirk as if he had just won a small victory over him. The sound of his chuckle prickled your skin as he led you down the walkway. Each step forward was harder than the next as approached the vehicle.

Opening the passenger door for you it all of a sudden became hard to breathe. As you lower yourself to get inside your body started to tremble. When the door closed you felt almost suffocated. Your shaky hand reached for the seat belt as he walked around the car to the drivers side. Before he started the car you could tell he was looking at you, but you couldn't face him.

"I thought I told you to wear a dress?"

Instead you wore a pair of boot cut jeans, an oversized sweater and no makeup. You knew he would disapprove and you knew this bit of defiance would not go unpunished, but wearing a dress around Steve would be like showing red to a bull. You wanted to be covered from head to toe. Whenever he touched you your skin felt as if it were on fire, this small barrier of fabric would protect you for the time being.

"I don't have any" you lie as your body trembled. Hoping against hope he was too focused on the road to notice.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk we will have to change that" he said matter of factly as he turned on the radio.

Shifting your body to face the window you stare out at the changing land scape hoping the motion would settle your nerve. Steve rested his hand on the stick shift as he sped through the streets, but eventually found your thigh. At first you brushed him off, but every time he switched gears the hand would fall and squeeze your leg.

"You do that again and I will fuck you on the side of the road in the middle of rush hour." He spoke while keeping his eyes on the road. This time when his hand rested on your thigh you just left it.

"You remember I asked you first. I wanted you. Remember? Mrs. Pepper's English class?" He chuckled lightly at the memory. Keeping his eyes on the road.

"We were kids Steve that was more than a decade ago" you say flatly facing the passenger window.

He didn't retort only allowing the radio to fill the silence as he drove on.

Freshmen year of High school in Mrs. Pepper's English class was were you first met Steve. The scrawny little boy way shorter than you sat directly behind you. Aside from the occasional passing back of paper assignments you two never really spoke.

Until one day he passed you a note while Mrs. Peppers back was turned. Unfolding the letter and hiding it between the pages of your book you read it. In it he poured out his heart to you.

He talked about the way you wore your hair, your smile and how he was most definitely failing the class because all he could think about was you.

It was sweet and the first ever confession you ever received. But you were interested in someone else at the time. So without a second thought you wrote him back a reply.

It wasn't until the sound of him tearing the note hit your ears that your heart sank. When you told your bestie, Peggy, about it she scolded you for being so cold hearted.

After the twenty minute drive he turned down a cul-de-sac. The car crawled to a stop in front of a white picket fence. Rolling into its driveway where a two story house sat. It looked like the American dream.

You looked at him with dread in your eyes. Steve was really taking you to see Peggy. He ignored your stare, putting the car into park and shoving the keys into his pocket.

"Peggy should be just about finished." Smiling to himself as he smoothed out his hair in the rear-view mirror.

His hand fell from his hair landing on your lap again. You shifted uncomfortably as his hands trailed up your jeans. You squeeze your legs tightly together, but Steve doesn't stop until he reaches your crotch. You take your hands and try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.

"Don't" you say flatly. When Steve turned to look at you his sky blue eyes grew dark and you could see a familiar hunger in them. Turning to look at the house you hoped Peggy couldn't see or wouldn't walk out to greet her husband.

"Stop... please" your voice softly pleading. Tears threatening to fall as his finger dip low onto your crotch. The friction of his hand on your jeans sending a jolt throughout your body. When he felt the warmth between your legs he bit down on his bottom lip. Rubbing up and down the seam he watched as you fought against him and the wetness building between your thighs.

"Hope your hungry!" He spoke with a now chipper tone. His wholesome smile returning to match. Slipping his hand from you to unbuckled your belt. You sat there frozen as he then unfastened his own before pulling the strap back. Acting as if nothing had happened before he opened his door to get out.

You watched him from the car as he walked up to the porch, pulling out his house keys. You thought for a moment if there was something you could do or if there was somewhere to run, but you already knew the answer was no.

He waited at the door for you as you finally got out. Even outside of the car the air felt too thick to breathe. Making your way up the porch he open the door and you reluctantly followed.

"Honey I'm Home!" Steve sang out to his adoring wife who seemed to be busying herself about the house.

There was a shuffle in a distant room. A head popped out from around a door way and there you saw her, Peggy. She was breathtaking. She looked like Mary Tyler Moore from the Dick Van Dyke show you used to watch with your uncle. Her hair fixed, makeup immaculate and a dress that you would never cook in.

Running from the kitchen all smiles Peggy kissed Steve on the cheek.

"Oh honey I missed you" she embraced him as if he had been gone for centuries. "Who do you have..." her words stop short as she regarded you. Her smile almost falling when she sees your face.

"Hi Peg" you say meekly.

She looked to Steve as if to protest but something in her eyes told you she knew better of it.

"Oh Hi Y/N, Long time no see." She smiled brightly at you, but it was so fake and empty. Even after all this time she still held that grudge against you.

Peggy and you had been friends all through grade school. You two used to be inseparable, always having sleepovers, eating lunch together and bus rides home.

That was until she started dating Steve. The scrawny kid that had once passed you a note with his heart attached had changed drastically over the summer. Puberty had hit him like a ton of bricks. Coming back over six foot tall, muscles and newly appointed captain of the football team. If his name wasn't Steve Rogers you would've sworn he was someone completely different.

Despite his new found popularity and budding relationship he made time for you. He started of small by playfully tripping you every time you passed him. Then your lockers lock would break almost everyday you couldn't prove it was him, but he would always be close by when you discovered the broken lock. Your uncles house on more than one occasion would be egged or tepeed leaving you to clean up the carnage.

It wasn't until the day of the incident that everything became truly clear. Immediately after that Peggy ended your years long friendship.

*Knock knock

"That must be Bucky" Steve said while walking off to get the door. You wanted to say something to her in his absence, anything, but she just turned on her heals. Leaving you to go back to the kitchen from which she came.

As her body cut the corner to the kitchen you could hear the sounds of their voices. You wanted to vomit. You didn't want to be left alone with them. The closer they came the more rapid your heart beat inside your chest.

"Bucky why don't you help Peggy set the table while I give Y/N a tour." Steve suggested as he entered the dinning room.

Your back was facing them. Frozen in place as you waited for your school daze tormentors to make their moves.

"Sure Punk"

You could tell he was annoyed with the order, but complied as he always did. Making his way toward the kitchen he bumped your shoulder and you stumbled on to the chair placed at the dinner table.

Steve came behind you though he hadn't touched you yet the heat that radiated from his body electrified your skin. When he took you by the hand your stomach fell. Turning you around his heavy strides headed to the banister, ascending up the staircase you tried to pull back, but his hold on your hand was like steel. Engagement and marriage photos decorated the walls and as you passed each frame it felt as if Peggy's eyes watched you scornfully.

When he got to the top of the stair case he took a right. Opening a door that was less than a foot from the banister. Flicking a switch the room flooded with light.

"And this is the baby room" he said proudly.

The air smelled stale, as if it hadn't been aired out in ages. Stuffed animals stared out blankly from atop a shelf positioned high above a white crib. Next to it along the wall a window with sheer curtains, further over a changing table with a package of unused pamper sat on top. Opposite the changer a closet filled with baby clothes, shoes and a stroller still in its original packaging. The tiny room looked like it was ripped from an Instagram post.

He grabbed you're belly from behind and squeezed it tight.

Whispering in your ear. "I cant wait to hear the pitter patter of little feet."

A shivered rippled through your spine at the implication. Pushing you to the center of the room you almost trip over the oval rug in the middle of the floor. The damn in your eyes broken instantaneously. Steve could hear your sobs, but he didn't care as.

"Steve.. Peggy is down stairs... please" Your voice was shaky, turning to look at him your face wet with tears. He stepped in further, but didn't close the door. You could tell by the look on his face what was coming next.

"Get into position"

It was a command you hadn't heard in ages, but it still filled you with the shame just the same as it had ever.

You sunk slowly to your knees. Unfastening your jeans, hooking your thumbs on your belt loops forcing them down past your thighs. Then you did the same with your panties.

From behind you could hear Steve start to rub the fabric of his jeans. He loved watching you, toying with you and playing with himself as you did as he commanded.

Lowering your head to the floor you keep your ass up facing him. With your head pressed to the floor you take one arm and snake it in-between your legs. Separating your folds with your fingers so that he could see your inner pink.

Holding there for a moment before moving on to massaging your clit. Rubbing it slowly with your finger tips. The sensation awaking your sex.

You wished you could press your face deep into the floor as you felt the pleasure build. Moaning as you feel yourself grow wet. Dragging your fingers down your slit you take two fingers and trace around your entrance. Slickening your fingers with the wetness of your cunt. Whimpering as you pressed them into yourself. Steve groaned at the sound of your pathetic noise and again at the sloppy wet sounds that you made as you pumped in and out of yourself.

He huffed out a deep grown. "Look at you, my Y/N, dripping wet like a little bitch in heat." He chuckled darkly.

You could feel yourself tightening and spasming, but you had to ask him for permission to cum. Steve always demanded it that way so you fought of the building climax.

"Are you close" he asked. You refused to answer only focusing on keeping yourself at bay.

The metallic jingle of his buckle could barely be heard, but the down ward pull of his zipper was louder as he step closer behind you. His jeans fell down his legs softly resting a top his shoes.

The sound of your sex became louder as Steve lowered himself to you.

"Show me Y/N, show me how you fuck yourself" he said as his hands glided up and down your ass.

"Look how needy you are for me, just for me"

Stroking himself with one hand while the other halted you. Holding your fingers inside you before slowly pumping them in and out.

"Do you want to cum for me" Steve asked whilst he readied himself behind you.

"Yes!" You begged and you could practically feel his elation.

*Whack

The loud sound rang out through the room.

"Yes what?" He wanted you to call him by his high school nickname.

"Yes Captain" You whimper.

"Mmmmmm... I missed that" he hummed. Steve pulled your hand away you braced for him to violate you.

"Steve! Honey!" Peggy's voice called out through the open door from down stairs.

The tip of his cock was aligned with your sopping cunt, but Steve hesitated sticking it in.

"Steve dinner is ready!" Peggy called again. This time a bit closer than before.

As his nails dug into your ass a pain shot through your body. The grip he had on you only increased in intensity as you could tell he was debating on what to do.

"Fuck" he hissed. The pressure of Steve pushing himself off your butt had you collapsing at his release.

"Coming doll" he shouted back at her.

You could hear him pulling up his pants as you lay motionless on the floor. You had to leave town again, but with no money you knew there came no hope.

The dinner was an awkward affair and if she knew what happened up stairs she wasn't letting on. At the round table Steve sat next to you while Bucky flanked your other side. Once seated Peggy brought out the food. It all looked delicious there was a roasted dish no doubt at Steve suggestion, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables and a chilled bottled of white wine.

Steve poured you a glass of wine almost to the brim.

"Um I don't drink Steve" you lie as he finishes pouring your glass, but of course he ignored you. When you were around him you wanted to have all your senses. As Peggy served the group Bucky conversed with Steve while you stared at the plate you had no apatite for.

"Are you dating anybody? Anyone missing you in that big city?" Peggy asked with a sly smile as she took her place on the other side of Steve.

"Oh you know how it is now a days" Looking from her to him when you answered. Hoping that response was vague enough to not stroke Steve's ire, but you didn't see any of his familiar tics.

"Well, James is single. Didn't you two have a little thing in high school" she looked over at him, but he was more focused on the plate in front of him.

Could she see the sudden tension on your face you wondered?

Steve's hand glided up in your lap, giving it a squeeze. He had done this before every time you were forced to have dinner at his parents house. When he squeezed again you wondered if she knew about those dinners too. How you both got caught fucking in his room by his mother or that awful time with his father. How each time his she demanded you to stay. As if she wanted you to see your future.

Bucky had distracted Peggy with some mundane conversation about shopping or cooking. You couldn't really focus as you bit down on your fork when he tried to go into your pants again.

Putting the utensil down you slip your hands from the top of the table to unbutton your pants.

Leaning over to your ear. "A dress would've made things a lot more fun."

Even with Peggy at the table he was embolden. Trailing a hand up your thigh while smiling in his wife's face. Before he got to close you turned your wine glass over, spilling the liquid all over Steve.

"What the hell" Steve cursed as he grabbed a table cloth to bolt himself.

"Oh gosh I'm sorry Steve it was an accident" you lied. "Um you know its getting really late maybe I should go home now"

"Fuck fine come on" he stood up still drying himself off.

"You're a mess Honey. I’m sure James could take her home" Peggy interjected sweetly to her husband.

Steve’s jaw tightened you could tell he didn't like the idea, but sighed and resigned his objections.

"Buck would you mind?" The smile plastered on his face was faker than a three dollar bill.

"Sure thing Punk" Bucky patted Steve on the back of his shoulder as he got up. Pushing your chair back you hurry to follow him, you could feel Steve's eyes on your back.

They didn't see you two to the door, but you could hear Peggy wishing you both a goodnight and safe drive.

"Why did you do that?" Bucky as he riffled for the keys in his pocket.

*Buzz Buzz

You hadn't even made it to the car before your cellphone went off.

MSG Steve: Im going to fuck you for hours tomorrow. So get some rest 😈

Chapter 3>>>

#Dark!Steve x Reader #dark!steve x black reader #dark cop au #black writer #dark steve x reader #dark steve x black reader

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