#i do have the money but this fucking sucks
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A silly road trip visiting bad attractions would be a lot of fun for many groups. I have a request for people considering this:
Skip Noah’s Ark in Kentucky.
The townspeople in the area are losing tax revenue to it (because Republicans suck and don’t believe in the separation of church and state when it’s the right kind of Christianity), and it’s drawing in tourists that the town didn’t get much of before. The roads are suffering and they all fucking hate the ark for moving in against their wishes. The guy who built it isn’t even American, and when the attraction does make charitable donations, they are never made locally. It’s not called “Noah’s Ark” or anything normal, noooo, it’s “the Ark Experience”. There’s a whole section devoted to shaming modern Americans for their modern sins, with a whole display devoted to shaming an imaginary teenage girl who needs an abortion for choosing sex with her boyfriend over her virginity and faith.
Instead, go to the same town and spend money other places there. Perhaps buy some eggs from a local grocery store. Maybe go do something fun with those eggs. If it involves throwing them at the Ark or at the cars of guests at the Ark, that’s a you decision.
The Worst Attraction in Every State
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i really want to stress that only pointing toward likely paid, biased studies on dissociative disorders as your only "source" on the entirety of plurality, you're making an appeal to authority. why would you rather suck up to the medical complex than listen to someone talk about their own experience? the medical industry is not your friend- it's here for profit. whether or not you want to accept it, modern medicine is fueled by money, not a genuine desire to help people. this industry treats dissociatives like shit, i want you to know. it chews us up and spits us out and doesn't give a singular fuck about whether or not we're getting the help we need.
if something won't make money IMMEDIATELY in the modern medical industry, it will NOT get researched. studies have to acquire funding before they can be performed. this is why there's so little research done into dissociative disorders in the first place, let alone lesser known psychological phenomena. there's BARELY studies out there for dissociative disorders, you can't leverage that against other psychological phenomena. i cannot stress enough that asserting that because there are not heaps of medical studies to point toward doesn't mean that something doesn't exist, or that someone isn't experiencing something.
why do you trust an industry built off of greed and letting people die for the sake of profits over individuals relaying their lived experiences? yes, modern medicine is very effective and very much can help you and keep you alive & you should not discredit the studies that are already there. but keep in mind that just because a study is only performed on one subject doesn't mean it's discrediting other experiences. why is your knee jerk reaction to trust an industry over an individual's experiences? that ain't punk at all.
a study done on schizophrenic psychosis in specific is not discrediting other types of psychosis- it's just focused on a specific type of psychosis that can manifest. it's not there to say no one else can be psychotic. same goes for plurality and dissociative disorders. dissociative plurality is a specific kind of plurality- its existence does NOT discredit the existence of other types of plurality.
#plural#plurality#pluralgang#plural gang#mental health#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#plural system#system#multiple system#multiplicity#multiple#did#osdd#actually plural#endogenic#endogenic system#endo safe#endogenic safe#pro endogenic#pro endo#endo system#natural system#spiritual system#our wrting#madpunk#neuropunk
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Pairing Fem.Reader-x-Ben (Soldier Boy)
A little bit of story, A whole lot of smut
Warnings Smut, Language, Drinking, Dom[ish] Ben, Light BDSM[ish], Reader being bitchy, Ben being an ass, Smidge of violence, Oral Both Receiving, P-I-V, Unprotected Sex (wrap it before you tap it) Rough Sex, Light Choking, Biting, Cuming inside.
Please do not copy my work
Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback. always highly appreciated.
“So, are you gonna suck his dick or just think about it sweetheart?” Ben asked arrogantly from the backseat of your beat-up SUV.
“Oh, Benny boy. You don’t need to concern yourself with whose dick I put in my mouth.” You matched his tone.
“Just need to know if I have to get my own room tonight.” He took a long drag off his cigarette. “And maybe another pussy to please.”
“Good luck with that.” You challenged raising your brows “Butcher looks like he can give a pretty mean dick.”
He leaned up to your ear, His hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “I bet he can’t make you cum like I can.” He whispered, firing up your core. You inhaled deeply, striving to regain your composure.
He quickly leaned back in his seat as Butcher opened the passenger door. He sat down and looked at you. “You alright over there, love?” Billy asked lighting up a cigarette
“Never better.” You told him as you pulled out of the gas station. As the journey went on, a strange silence filled the air between you. You tried to steal a glance at him in the rearview mirror. He gave you a cheeky wink when he caught you which only added to the tension. You pushed the accelerator down.
“We in a hurry?” Butcher asked as the engine roared.
“Just trying to get there.” You could feel Ben’s eyes in the mirror, you kept yours on the road.
The silence was driving you crazy. You had never been so happy to see a shitty motel. You parked the car and hopped out. “I’ll get the rooms.” You told them, shutting the door behind you.
Coming back to the car you handed Butcher their room key and took your bag out of Ben’s hand. “I can get it, thanks though.” You heard him huff, but you didn’t turn back.
“You’re on a different floor?” you heard Billy ask as you started up the external staircase.
You shrugged. “That’s all they had left.” He gestured to the parking lot. All the spaces were empty except for the one occupied by your car. “Take it up with them, not me.” you continued to your room. You just wanted a break from him, and his stupid snide comments, his absurd cocky attitude, his smartass tongue, that knew precisely how to work your clit to send waves of ecstasy through you, his stupid soft hair that always tickled as he did it. Fucking stop you thought, shaking him out of your head.
You walked out of the steamy bathroom, almost jumping out of your towel when you found him sitting on your bed. “What the fuck Ben?”
“You didn’t answer your door.”
“That doesn’t mean fucking break in,”
“You could have been dead.”
“Ok I’m not. So, fix the door on your way out.” You gave him a fake smile.
“Would you like me to send Butcher up here while I’m at it?”
“No need I won’t be here.” You smirked at him
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?” you shrugged. “Out.”
“You do know Homelander is looking for you right?”
“So sweet of you to care, but I doubt he’s checking middle of nowhere towns.”
He rolled his eyes and walked out, slamming the door behind. “Dick!” you yelled after him You heard the echoes of his laughs bounce back through the still broken door.
Billy and Ben followed closely behind you as you crossed the street. “Is this really necessary?”
“Yep.” Ben said, quickening his step to walk beside you. “Is that slutty low-cut top really necessary?”
“Yep.” You repeated his words, the corners of his mouth twitched up just for a second.
For a small town the bar was lively. Mostly ranch hands, and high-school kids buying booze with their fake ids. You walked up to the bar and ordered 3 shots of whiskey. The bar tender took your money and sat the filled shot glasses on the bar. You slapped Ben’s hand away when he reached for one. “Order your own.”
“And here I thought you were being nice for a change.”
You laughed. “You should better than that.” You knocked back the shots one after another. You got the bartender’s attention and ordered 2 more. He filled the glasses as you handed him more cash. Ben’s eyebrows raised as you slid one of the shots in his direction. You held your glass up and he tapped it with his. You took the shot and turned around, leaning back on the bar.
“So should I start looking?” His voice haughty
“She’s cute.” You pointed to a blonde bimbo with her tits hanging out. “And she looks easy.”
He smirked. “Maybe.”
“Oh, look she has a friend.” You said with fake cheer as her friend sat beside her. “Make you could get a two for one special.” You turned back to the bar rolling your eyes. You got the bartender’s attention and ordered another. Ben tapped his shot glass and paid for both. “Thanks.”
He took his. “You know you’re cute when you’re jealous. Sweetheart.”
“I’m not jealous. Just trying my good friend Ben a find a pussy to please.” you retorted. You took your shot and made your way to the dance floor.
You could sense Ben's gaze piercing through the crowd as you moved your hips to the rhythm of the music. Stopping in the middle of the crowd, you turned around and locked eyes with him as you sensuously rolled your body. His eyebrows arched with intrigue. A charming, muscular guy wearing a cowboy hat made his way toward you.
The cowboy eyed you up and down. “You lookin’ for a partner little missy?”
You looked over at Ben. His lips pressed in a hard line now. You smirked at him. You looked back at the cowboy. “Sure. Why not.”
The cowboy spun you around and pulled your body back to him. You rolled your hips grinding your ass against his groin. You leaned completely back on him as he rolled with your body, raising your arm you wrapped around his neck. You glanced over at Ben. He was on the edge of the dance floor now, a scowl on his face. You puckered lips out and pushed them out toward him.
His nostrils flared as the cowboy ran his fingers up and down your midsection pulling you closer. The cowboy leaned his face to your neck. Trailing kisses to your shoulder.
The cowboy spun you around again, so you were face to face. The cowboy rolled his hips, making his bulge grind on your core. He pressed his lips against yours.
You felt a hand wrap around your wrist. “That’s enough. Let’s go!” Ben demanded as he pulled on your arm, careful not to hurt you. What the hell has gotten into him. Ben never got jealous. Well, I guess you never really tried to make him jealous before.
You twisted your hand and pulled out of his grip. The cowboy got in his face. “Hey asshole. She’s with me now.”
Ben chuckled. He looked past the cowboy. “You’re with him now?”
“That’s what I said.” He bumped Ben chest with his own.
Ben put his finger up. “Don’t” he warned.
“I ain’t scared of you motherfucker.” The cowboy bumped into his chest again
“I said.” The cowboy cut him off with a shove. You could see the glow through Ben’s shirt. Fuck.
You pushed the cowboy out of your way. “Ben.” He stayed silent glaring at the cowboy as the glow got a little brighter. You cupped his face with your hands and angled his face down. His eyes stayed on the cowboy. You stretched on to your toes, “Ben.” still nothing. The glowing got brighter. You crashed your lips on his. Praying that this would stop the nuclear bomb from going off. As he started to kiss you back, he wrapped his arms around your waist. Pulling you into him. Your hands slid around his neck.
He groaned into your mouth as you shoved your tongue through his lips. His hands found your ass and squeezed hard. You can feel the temperature of his chest cooling.
“You good?” you asked.
“Yea.” He softly replied.
“You wanna leave?” He nodded, releasing his embrace. He spun around and grabbed your hand as he started toward the door.
“Yea that’s right bitch! Walk away.” The cowboy yelled.
Ben stopped. You pulled on his arm. “Ben, come on.” He took a deep breath, “Please.” His expression softened at your plead, and he continued walking.
As soon as he passed the threshold, he pulled you back against him. Your pulse quickened as his hand slid up your neck and shoved your face to meet his gaze. His hand wrapped around your neck as his hungry lips captured yours, making your core ignite with excitement. His other hand made its way up your shirt, sliding under your bra he started kneading your breast vigorously, making you moan into his mouth. His fingers moved to the hem of your shirt, you raised your arms as he pulled it over your head. His lips were back on yours as he unclasped your bra. Your nipples hardened as the cool air hit them. You felt the smile on his lips and next thing you knew you were face down on the bed.
“Bet you thought you were real fucking funny back there huh?” He snarled, you heard the screeching as he moved the desk chair. “Shaking that ass on him like that.” And then a small bang as he pushed it against the door. “I don’t even know why you would waste your time.”
You felt the bed shift as he knelt behind you, a sting on your ass as he slapped it. Grabbing your hips he brought you up on your hands and knees. “You know, No one can make you feel as good as I can.” A small gasp left your lips as he crashed his groin against you. His hand clasped over your shoulder and started thrusting against you, his hardened shaft smacking into your center making it thrum with desire. He pulled on your shoulder bringing you back against him, he unbuttoned your jeans and then slid his fingers under your panties groaning when he felt how wet you were for him. you moaned as he started a circular motion around your clit. “No one can make you as wet as I can.” He whispered.
You felt a low rumble against your back as he pushed two fingers inside of you. You sighed with pleasure as he began to rhythmically slide them. As the pace of his fingers intensifies, so too does the rhythm of your breath. He curled his fingers hitting that sweet spot delivering waves of bliss through your body. Your walls start to tighten on his fingers as you start to reach your peak. He withdraws his hand. “Not yet sweetheart.”
He turned you to face him, keeping you on your knees. With a kiss he grasped the back of your thighs and pulled them out from under you. you gasped as your back bounced on the mattress. His hands grabbed the waist of your jeans and your panties, you lifted, he threw them across the room. He nudged your knees open, shivers rand up your spine as the cool air hit your center. He stroked his fingers up and down your folds, you let out a moan as he shoved his fingers in you again.
He lowered himself, his mouth hovering over your inner thigh, a whisper of warmth against your skin. You rolled your hips, feeling the sharpness of his teeth as they skimmed your skin. “No one.” His beard left a trail of goosebumps as he inched closer to your core. “Can.” He stopped, and you felt the graze of his teeth once more. “Eat.” He bit the skin right next to your lips causing your walls to clench around his fingers.
“This pussy.” He pulled his hand back, leaving his fingertips inside, adding a third he slowly slid them back in, as deep as they would go. As you moaned fuck, a deep a growl slipped from his mouth.
He flicked your clit with the tip of his tongue, drawing a moan of his name from your lips. You glanced down at him. His lips twisted in a mischievous smirk, his eyes sparkling as they gaze into yours. "Like I can," he teased, his attention returned to your core as he inhaled deeply taking in your sweet aroma. Then he dove in, he moaned as he tasted your sweet juices. He sucked your clit into his mouth, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. A breathy moan of his name escaped your lips as his teeth grazed it, sending shivers of pleasure through your body. as he worked his tongue on your clit as he pumped his fingers. “You wanna cum?”
“Yes” you moaned.
He chuckled as you became puddy in his hands. “Tell me.” his tongue flicked your clit again.
“Ben please.” You moaned
“Come on sweetheart you can do better than that.” Another flick.
“Please, Ben. I wan, want you to make me cum.”
He gave you a wicked smile and then his tongue went back to work. Sloppily lapping at your clit. He curled his fingers upward hitting that sweet spot again as he continued to with his tongue. His fingers slid faster and faster, pushing you closer and closer. Your fingers clenched his hair as the coil got tighter and tighter, “B, Ben don’t stop.” Your moans filled the room, getting louder as the coil was about to burst. Your walls pulsed around his fingers as your orgasm surged through your body. His fingers slowed, helping you ride it out.
He rose to his feet and pulled his shirt over his head. He motioned you over with a single finger as he unbuttoned his pants. As he pointed toward the floor in front of him you recognized his requests and eagerly complied. “You gonna let me fuck that pretty little mouth of yours?” He asked as you knelt in front of him. You nodded, looking up at him. Your hands slid up his thighs, he lifted his head and moaned softly as you caressed his hard shaft through his jeans. You unzipped his pants and pulled them down. Unleashing his thick, throbbing cock.
He let out a low moan as you gradually took him into your mouth. His hand twists into your hair, revealing his impatience. You pulled your head back when he started to thrust forward, teasing him. A growl escaped his lips, and his grip on your hair tightened. He starts to move his hips again, this time you stay in place. Tears welled in your eyes as you fought your gag reflex once he reached your throat. Another moan escaped his throat as he started sliding his cock in and out of your mouth. “Fuck.” He moaned as you tighten your mouth around him. He groaned in between pants as he sped up the pace. Grabbing your hair with both hands he bucks one last time and you feel his warm cum ooze down your throat. His body shivered as you bobbed your head one more time, savoring every last drop.
He effortlessly lifted you and tossed you onto the bed. The instant your back hit the mattress, he was on top of you, his lips hungry for yours again. He positioned himself at your entrance and thrust deep without warning. Giving your body no time to adapt to his size he withdrew his cock and slammed it back inside you, the room filled with your loud moans as pleasure and pain collided within you. Leaning down, he whispered in your ear, “No one can fill this pussy like I can,” You let out a soft moan of his name as he starts pumping in and out of you, each movement sending shivers of delight throughout your body. He rose to his knees, a moan leaving him as he pushed deeper inside of you.
You could feel the tension building in your stomach again as his rigid cock filled you, hitting your g-spot as he pumped in and out of you. You praised him with a moan of his name as your walls clenched around him. “You gonna cum for me again baby?” You replied with a moan of his name. His muscles flexed as he pounded harder. His green eyes gazed into yours and the coil busted. Waves of ecstasy coursed through your body once more. With one loud groan and a deep plunge into your pulsating walls Ben found his release. He collapsed on top of you as heavy pants echoed through the room. His hair tickled your chest as it moved with your breath.
His head rose once he caught his breath, resting his chin on your chest. You noticed the green in his eyes was brighter than normal as they locked on yours. "No one.. will ever love you like i do."
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#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy x you#soldier boy smut#soldier boy fic#jensen fucking ackles#soldier boy x reader#the boys#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#female reader#reader
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minors and ageless blogs do not interact ! fem!reader ☆ shiu is an absolute prick in this one just the way i like it :')
sugar daddy!shiu kong makes it clear on the get go that the relationship is purely transactional. he covers your tuition and whatever expenses that you need. in return, you gotta sit still and look pretty during his client meetings. and there were a lot of those meetings going on in his life... he doesn't want a companion to share his woes with, he needs a sweet little thing who'd make him look better in front of the clients. having a doll like you just makes it so much easier to deal with those guys. he really isn't like your traditional daddy that you see in movies. he doesn't mindlessly shower you with gifts and money and take you out on dates just to see you smile, he makes you earn each and every bit of the financial support he's been providing you with. it might seem a bit crude, but again, it's a transactional relationship after all.
you're his arm candy, all young and pretty in the outfits he chooses for you—none of them reach the knees. he likes it casual during the daytime—he doesn't care much for the tops low cut, turtle neck, buttoned collars, whatevers fines as long as it's paired with the tiniest of skirts. he likes ass and tits but most importantly, he likes thighs. sunny afternoons at lavish private properties or client offices don't go by easily by just discussing brokering services and pretending to care about the client's problems. you're either by his side or on his lap and he cannot go on without kneading the soft flesh of your thighs. one thing about him is that he makes the most out of the space he sits in. he's charming, even with that shit eating grin or a muted smirk that he flashes at you whenever you pluck the cigarette from his lips for him to exhale the smoke or ash it for him since he's too comfortable leaned back.
during the night however, the tiny little dresses he makes you wear seem like they're barely there. dainty jewellery, freshly manicured nails, his favourite shades of lipstick on your extremely kissable lips... he rubs his thumb on your bottom lip, tilting your chin up and looking down at you with his piercing gaze like he's evaluating you—"you've gotten the hang of it by now, i don't expect anything less from you. you'll be good for the clients n' extra good f'me, hm?" he lets go of your chin after you answer and gets out of the car, circling around it to open the passengers door for you.
it's like he's making you put on a show for the clients by the way he instructs you to charm them with your demeanour. his clients are total pervs too since he's not letting you leave much for imagination with your clothes. this is a business and sex sells—everyone knows it. "it's a big bad world honey, i don't have to tell y'bout how it works, yeah?" he murmurs if the clients are just oogling at you. but if it gets to you a bit too much, and trust me, he catches onto things faster than most people, he has his ways of dealing with it.
after the meetings is when you truly get to the good bit. he covers your semester fees on time even without you having to remind him along with the additional college charges. he's cunning but he's trustworthy and diligent. but for that extra cash to splurge, you gotta let him blow his steam off. he latches his lips onto your neck and gradually your tits after freeing them like he's starved, like he's been waiting for it. "the bastard chewed my damn ears off, can't stand 'em..." he grunts as he sucks on your nipples, his other hand groping your tits with a grip borderlining on a harsh one. "but you..." he bites on one with his teeth and tugs on the other with his index and thumb, "you're a fucking doll, so good f'me..." and by the time you're done with fogging up the tinted windows of his car, your poor cunt is left oozing out a bit of his cum as it trickles down your inner thighs.
he pulls out a thick wad of cash, fanning through it. "open up, sweetheart," he murmurs, thumbing through a few crisp bills. you bite down, the stack hard against your teeth. it's humiliating to the core but business is business, and you’ve got to earn your keep.
#shiu kong#shiu kong x reader#shiu x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#shiu kong smut#shiu smut#jjk shiu
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Can I pressure you to work on the 'having a job sucks ass' math AU fic?
yeah 😂 i started working on it when i was annoyed with my job. which is always
here's a snippet from earlier in the fic, because i think the later part i'm working on won't make a ton of sense out of context
[ make me work on one of my fics if you want ]
-
Dream shuts his laptop as Hob approaches. Oh, yeah. He was definitely waiting for Hob, specifically. Hob is getting the sense that he’s in trouble. And he’s not stupid. It’s not hard to guess what has Dream upset.
“Look,” he starts, “don’t even—”
“Hob Gadling,” Dream interrupts. Yep, that’s the trouble tone, the one Hob used to get when he did shit like giving himself a concussion playing pick up football on the quad. “It is ten p.m.”
“I own a watch too, Dream,” Hob says tiredly. Does Dream think he wants to be working this late? He’s just trying to stay employed.
Dream’s lips press into a thin line. And Hob knows him well enough, can read him well enough to recognize that what’s underneath the annoyance is concern. But what exactly does Dream expect him to do about it?
Hob sits down—more like collapses—into the armchair diagonal to where Dream is on the couch. God, what he really wants is to just fucking face plant into bed, not deal with this.
Christ. When did he start thinking about talking to Dream as dealing with?
Then again, this is less talking to Dream and more arguing with Dream, and he fucking hates doing that.
He scrubs his hands over his face. “It’s far away, alright?” he argues, though it sounds more like a whine. “It’s not like I can teleport.”
“It is not acceptable that they keep you so late,” Dream says. Then his tone softens. “I worry over your level of exhaustion. That is not even mentioning the commute.”
“Honestly, the commute’s not the worst part,” Hob says. “Gives me more time to get stuff done. Or fall asleep.”
Dream gives him a flat look. “Precisely.”
“I don’t want to hear judgment about work ethic from you of all people,” Hob snaps. God, he hates arguing with Dream, he hates it. It’s not like when they bicker. And it’s not like arguing with anyone else. The thought that Dream is upset with him is genuinely distressing.
“I think I of all people am uniquely qualified to give it,” Dream says.
He’s not wrong. Dream is a workaholic if ever there was one. It’s something Hob’s had to talk to him about in the past. Frequently, in the past, Hob was the one who was better about it.
It’s just that having this job is a level of relentless he couldn’t possibly have anticipated.
Hob can’t just quit though, even if he is overworked. It’s a good job, career-wise, and it pays really well, and he wants Dream to be able to keep his post-doc position without worrying about the salary because Dream is just quite frankly not cut out for anything where he isn’t able to work independently at least ninety percent of the time and Hob doesn’t want to see him suffer, and he wants them to be able to buy a house someday—
“Look,” he says, before Dream can suggest that he actually quit or something, “Dream, we’re making fucking bank, okay?”
Dream raises an eyebrow. “We are?”
“Yeah, we’re married, or did you forget?”
“It’s your money.”
“The joint bank account says otherwise. Half of it is yours.”
Dream frowns, then gets a wicked look in his eye. Oh no. “Does that entitle me to half of your suffering as well? Do I get half a say in whether it continues?”
“That’s not the point—”
“Are you going to watch me suffer half your exhaustion and do nothing about it?” Dream challenges, steamrolling right over him. He’s impossible to argue with when he really gets going. And great, now he’s employing that look. That pleading look that he knows Hob can’t say no to, eyes wide and helpless. “Will you leave me to my agonies?”
“Alright,” Hob says, pressing his hands to his eyes. “Enough. Stop joking around.”
“I’m quite serious. I don’t wish to see you suffer.” He crosses the room, kneels in front of Hob’s chair, and takes Hob’s hands, bringing them down from his face. “Your unintended comparison was more apt than you realize. When you prosper, I prosper. When you suffer, so equally do I.”
“Should have been a fucking poet instead of a mathematician, Dream,” Hob says. It shouldn’t come out as bitter as it does.
Except— “Maths is poetry,” he says, echoing it just as Dream says it, too. Hob had known he would.
It makes him smile, that he can predict Dream like that.
#hob's never beating the provider instinct#poor dream in this is like a neglected cat that just waits at the door like 🥺 all day while its person is gone#poor math idiots having to deal with adult problems. horrible#complex mathematics#my writing#ask#tj-dragonblade#is it 'maths is' or 'maths ARE'? is it plural
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Please...
To be talked down to. To be made to feel small, and weak, and pathetic. To be made to bow my head in shame and feel my face flush.
To be controlled. Thoroughly and utterly dominated. To be told what to wear, what to eat, when to talk, how to sit. To be made to beg for a single dollar to spend on myself.
To be made to cook and clean and keep the house tidy and do it all in my lingerie. To only ever be allowed to eat left over food scraps after everyone has eaten and to be made to sit on the floor and eat with my hands behind my back.
To be groped and touched and teased and stripped for your pleasure or for the pleasure of anyone you choose. To be edged endlessly and torturously kept on the edge of orgasm so I am absolutely and completely compliant and deeply submissive.
To be made to suck and fuck on demand. To suck and fuck anyone I am told to. And to suck and fuck irrespective of when and if I feel like it. And to never be allowed to cum so I am constantly in need of use.
To be whored out and bring money back to you. And to be berated for not earning enough.
To be beaten... to be stripped and tied and slapped and spat on and edged to tears. To be made so docile that crying turns me on...
To be so thoroughly, absolutely and completely used and abvsed that I have literally nothing left to fight with...
Oh my god...!
#degrade and humiliate me#degrading k1nk#humiliation kink#filthy thoughts#rough kink#submit#edging my mind away#attention wh0r3#edge slvt#cnc fr33use#edging and denial#edging kink#degrade her#degradation k1nk#degrade kink#bd/sm degrader
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#so remember when i was talking about having to temp move to a broken house owned by my brothers father in law#turns out he has been secretly telling the construction guy we hired to add more stuff#and refuse to pay them#putting all the expenses on me#i feel like i just got scammed#like my parents my brother his family and his family in law are scamming me to fix this house#i do have the money but this fucking sucks#im pulling all of it from my emergency and fun budget but its for emergency jfc not for fixing house that isnt even mine#i guess i should be fine#its kinda sad that irl im trying to pull this scary#dont fuck with me persona#alienating people who are thinking of taking advantage of me#and it worked sorta#except to my family who knows very well that its just a facade and i cant say no to them#aaaaaaa#i wish i could go off contact too bad i live in their vicinity
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these replies perfectly summarize how we got to the issue of devaluing human connection in the first place and how this post is pretty much exacerbating the issue:
“yall are so dumb” - this sentiment writes off an entire population of people who are struggling. literally destroying human connections directly. and i think that in and of itself is dumb
“this is sooooo dystopian” -its pretty obvious how people running to ai therapists fullblown sucks and is dystopian but one must not forget that pointing at an issue isnt actually addressing it, especially when the comparison is rooted in nostalgia.
“these people are pitiful”- another strain of thinking people are so dumb. its patronizing. if you cant find shared humanity— if you cant see within yourself a version that would succumb, you dont understand the problem.
honorable mention: the tools introduced above lend a very fun look into how ineffectual the system is and how these tools dont address at all the reasons why one would speak to an ai therapist in the first place.
worksheets: if i was going through a breakup or panic attack or some shit equivalent you would be absolutely kidding me to think that i would open up a worksheet. im suicidal not a masochist. zero humanity in that response.
chart-games: i find these useful, i even made a modified in-browser personal guide just for myself. but the issue is that most of the times conscious malaise isnt often cured by just eating or drinking just because you forgot. and thats if you remember to go to the website when youre doing badly in the first place. if im in hell im checked the fuck out.
finch: as a daily user of finch, i know directly how helpful this tool can be. it pairs the dopamine rush of games with executive function, like so many other gamified trackers out there. i like the data analysis personally, reflections are so useful to knowing yourself from day to day. but its very much trying to monetize your self care. to gate some of its tools behind a premium subscription because (paraphrase) “you deserve self care” is insidious as hell. and the ways it treats you is patronizing. i know youre dressing up a cartoon bird but i dont think helping the bird discover it likes baby shark is particularly salient to the aging tumblr userbase
ok so ive complained a whole lot. but in order to put money where my mouth is, whats the solution?
well obviously! to foster human connection of course. if these people dont know what real human connection is like its because nobody has BEEN real human connection for them. and vice versa— if you strawman these people into mindless idiots then clearly you dont understand their psyche.
in lieu of an ai therapist, reach out to a gd friend.
if you dont got friends, go make em. its ez. outside is easiest— show up to some kind of local thing or the other. it doesnt have to mesh with you completely but learning about Hetero Jessicas worklife balance is way more illustrative of human reality than chatgpt. but outside is not the only way. go ping someone random. get over the initial fear. fall in love with strangers. learn about their cats and trade cat pictures or some shit. its not easy but its worth it. hell, if you want to dm me i might even reply, if im not busy.
solidarity saved me. it can save you too.
guys. please
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Last sunset before Hoover Dam...I don't wanna go
Nothing hurts like finishing a game you started hating and ended loving.
#I will for sure start a new play after f76#but I will NOT do Dead Money again#fuck that DLC#who am I kidding I probably will....#i'm not gonna stop shitposting tho. i have a lot of screens#maybe next time i'll suck some legion dick and enslave the mojave#Johnny Guitar playing in the background#*sad yeehaw*#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#fallout screenshots#courier six
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you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 💪 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.
#i cant fucking do this not at all actually im very scared and i have no idea what im gonna ddo for money and yeah i am. so scared#money isn't even scary if i can just find a job! but i need an apartment but i can't find an apartment unless i can pay for the rent#and i have to contact The Dude at some point but uh. hes mad. im scared.#augh delete later probably. im sitting on the stairs outside and smoking a cigarette which i really shouldn't do#did I tell you i was scared. i have these cruel nightmares of roaming the streets looking for nala and not finding her#and i wake up in a cold sweat in a panic not knowing where i am. everything is so unfamiliar !!!!#if things ever work out for me if i can find the money for deposit or get my investments back somehow i swear i will spend a month in compl#ete silence staring at the cieling just processing this#right now everything feels so GO GO GO and i am scared it might break me. i do not have the time for chronic ilness right now yk.#tummy ache. chewing on my cheek.#nothing to do than try to stay positive but man. this really fucking sucks and is really unfair#who knew being a people pleaser with 0 boundaries would come back to bite me in the ass.#/groan/
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spent 3 hours last night panic searching for doctors to help me with my fibromyalgia. They are all either scams, extremely expensive boutique options (but are actually good apparently, if you have the money), extremely expensive scams, or have never heard of fibromyalgia and kick you out after 15 minutes.
#wrenfea.exe#apparently theres a thing called direct cost now#where the doctors spend like 2 hours with you and do all this testing and only take on a limited amount of patients#but they dont take insurance and are expensive#so you still need insurance for like. hospital stuff#but also have to pay out of pocket hundreds of dollars#if i had the money id do it since i already spend a ton of money on doctors that dont give a fuck about me#so might as well spend them on doctors that do#all the holistic care around me is scams for rich old ladies#my fibromyalgia symptoms are really holding me back#im so tired and achy and foggy and im so frustrated#i want to do things#i want to do my job well#but all the searching was fruitless#ive already seen a rheumatologist and she sucked#and none near me work with fibro patients#no neurologists do either#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#fibromyalgia#disability
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
#ughhhh#im not going to drop out just yet#itd be a shame i think#theres many opportunities at my uni that i just dont take cause i cant commit to them or im too tired or im too scared#idk if doing any of this is worth it if i don't truly commit tho#i dont think ive learned anything these past 2 years tbh i feel like ive been wasting time and money#and i know my mental state is just my fault cause i cant get myself to do anything and i feel shame and spiral but goddd#idk i just feel like shit#the academic year starts so soon and i just dread everything thats to come#idk i dont even feel like im going to come out of this school with a portfolio. im literally nothing and ive done nothing#i have no idea how i could write a dissertation because ive literally learned nothing i have no desire to learn i just want to fucking chil#i cant get myself to care much for anything except silly shit thats just a distraction from uni work ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh#sucks sucks everything sucks#sorry for this stupid fucking essay im just having lots of thoughts and no one to tell them so.. um#vent#i know this is all my fault but also like. what am i supposed to do about it every solution sounds like literal hell to me -_-#i guess ive been feeling less suicidal recently which i guess is good but i feel like its bad cause like ykiyk ig#idk its all a huge contradiction
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the bear s3 spoilers
below the cut! thinking about claire and stuff we saw this season re: carmy/syd/the restaurant/donna, just finished the season so itll be a mess and also im comin in way too hot on this so my bad
sometimes...... sometimes i believe you guys are all watching different tv. im not sure how this season didnt feel like a direct through line from s2?? and im not sure WHY everyone is SO MAD about claire LITERALLY "haunting" this season. girl. come on. we need to have a sit down talk about how the berzatto generational trauma is the real meat of this show (this will make sense, just trust me). thats the MAIN EMOTIONAL POINT. syd's relationship with her dad, marcus and his mom, richie and evie, even tina and louie are all examples of parental relationships that are tender, sweet, supportive, etc. these are INTENTIONAL!! by creating these relationships we see PLAINLY how fucked donna is and how much she fucked up all of these kids. thats why "ice chips" was such a FANTASTIC episode. there was SO MUCH unpacked, so much revealed, so much worked through with sugar and her but at the end of the day she's still learning how to unlearn all of this horrific narcissistic bullshit. SHES STILL UNLEARNING THOUGH. thats where fucking DONNA of all people sits right now——somehow, she's learning how to heal. EVERYONE IS LEARNING. that's also what is so important about that episode.
now lets look at carmy. in "ice chips" we are LITERALLY told about how each berzatto is born: mikey fighting against the idea of being alive at all, nat into a quiet, soothing room, and CARMY is fucking born into EVERYONE SCREAMING and ARGUING and FIGHTING. we are BLATANTLY told that all carmy has ever known is HELL and all he's ever known how to communicate is through exploding. this is so violently against what we also know about his personality from childhood in "fishes" (anxious growing up, arts-oriented, had a hard time making friends). now, he works a violently stressful job, processing the trauma from both his mother (and chef fields [joel mchale], realistically) through the high-stress environment.
NOW. ENTER CLAIRE.
HOW is she not fascinating to you all. we don't see her whole story (because the bear, duh) but we are given just enough pieces here to put together that her story runs parallel to carmy's. how are you not getting this. walk with me.
claire. glasses, nerdy, quiet, sweet, girl next door. family friend! cute, but considered mid for a long time by everyone at school, but suddenly the berzatto men all badger carm, "oh she got a glow up, oh shes looking for you, she wants to see you," etc etc etc. what happened in between?
she finds herself. she finds the stressful thing she LOVES, which is the hospital. her job is objectively more stressful than carmy's (illustrated by that scene earlier in the season but i forgot the episode, where claire talks about the girl who got her shit wrecked by the glass table), and while we don't have an exact understanding of what her home life was like, we understand that her and carmy both have a level of internal anxiety that thrives on the stress of their careers. HOWEVER, claire does it because she loves it. carmy just doesn't know how to stop.
this is what makes claire feel like "peace" to carmy——because her high-stress job is a choice, an active choice she is making because it fulfills her. it's not to prove her dead brother wrong, or to honor his own legacy, or to prove that dickbag boss wrong, or to leave a mark on the world, or to make her own life worthwhile, or to prove that she doesn't need anyone else. she genuinely enjoys helping people even when the days are stressful, or scary. he's obsessed with this. he wants to know how she does this. every day she leaves that stress at home——and he wants to learn how to do that too.
claire is VITAL to this season and to understanding carmy's stress——and how far back he is in his healing process. it should only become more and more apparent, as we see characters like tina (the beef/the bear became vital to her success/development as a chef AND person, both for the people AND her love of food), marcus (not hiding his grief, but using it to help rationalize how much his mother loved him and wanted to be surrounded by people that love him), and richie (finding a purpose through service/expo and understanding he can start over again) push through their own traumas and struggles to become better people. if donna can be not only present at sugar's bedside during labor, but WELCOMED at this point in the show, it makes carmy's inability to heal all the more present. claire is an important part of this puzzle: she helps us see a window into a world where carmy is balanced emotionally, but unbalanced professionally, because he has no idea how to make the two coexist.
however, the idea that he can be balanced emotionally at all is so fucking enticing——with the help of someone who experiences stress in the same way as him (and who is familiar with his familial trauma), he has the opportunity to grow up and move on from his family trauma and wounds perpetuated by the industry he works in.
on the flip side of this....... his inability to process any of this is starting to impact syd. and frankly, that's some bullshit. his lack of communication, inability to community build/trust ANYONE, and his violent stubbornness is pushing her into the same space that he was in under chef fields, in a much slower, more subtle manner, and for slightly different reasons. her panic attack at the end of the season could read in two directions to me: her stress over the responsibility of changing so many people's lives has boiled over once she remembered that the beef once was truly great (hey five star review on the fridge!), OR, she realizes how much she isn't in it for the food. fuck a Michelin star: she wants to cook with her family. chef terry says at the end of "forever", in the garage with carmy, that she's so grateful she got to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, where she wanted, with the people she wanted to do it with. sydney is so close to having those things at the bear——but carmy's dysfunction is keeping it just out of arms reach. the two of them are now on opposite sides of the approach from last season: syd dying for a star, and carmy dying to cook for the woman he loved. now, carmy is hungy for recognition again, desperate to prove something, and sydney is remembering (thanks to the conversation with other chefs during the ever funeral service) why she loved cooking in the first place. so this leaves us to wonder: should she stick it out? for the people? or make something of herself? is she carmy, or is she terry? i guess we will just have to see.
all this to say: every character is connected. the bear is a show about family, found and blood, and the choices we make for, with, and because of the people we love, for better or for worse. food is only the center of it, because it's the center of all of our lives. you can't hate claire without understanding where she sits in the web of the berzatto family. and really, you can't hate her if you understand what her presence means for carmy, for syd, and the restaurant as a whole.
#the bear#the bear season 3#the bear fx#the bear hulu#the bear meta#carmy berzatto#sydney adamu#claire the bear#the bear s3#the bear spoilers#the bear s3 spoilers#the bear season 3 spoilers#the bear season 3 meta#the bear analysis#eenposting#sorry.... feeling very passionately about this show#im not sure why this season felt like a stretch from the past two seasons#i didnt feel that way at all.... felt like a natural progression of the thing weve been given. some of them are healing and some of them ar#NOT. some of them very much are not. but all we can do is watch#thats always been the beauty of the bear. all we can fucking do is watch. and theyre all just gonna duke it out cus the family is CRAZY#i need some other friends to finish this shit so i can do real textual analysis because i ahve a lot of feelings about the metaphors and#imagery and symbolism and stuff from this season. this seaon was really really good to me and it felt like one huge movie#SO cinematic and SO good and visually so gorgeous and it sucks that theyre moving in a more cinematic direction and ppl hate it#LAME! LAME BITCH#THIS IS SOOO THE EXACT SAME SHOW AS ITS ALWAYS BEEN. THEY FINALLY JUST HAVE MONEY#i do wish we got more kitchen stuff but i understand we are growing out of the kitchen stuff as carmy gets more and more uncomfortable#in the industry#AND LIKE I SAID#THE KITCHEN AND FOOD WAS ALWAYS JUST THE FUCKING STAGE FOR THIS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT FAMILY MELODRAMA#LIKE WHAT????? YOU ALL KNEW THAT RIGHT....... THIS SHOW ISNT REALLY ABOUT A KITCHEN OR FOOD OR CULINARY ARTS AT ALL
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Yes this is Jenny Thompson. What I've just inherited a million dollars from my Uncle Ralph? Didn't even know the old fart kicked the bucket. He was such a perv always trying to fuck me. I need to come to the law offices of Asshole, Cock and Pervs at North and Main at 10:00pm tonIght? You are their paralegal, Ms. Cockslut, and have been instructed to tell me the will stipulates in order for me to get my money I need to show up wearing a string bikini and bring two other hot young female friends dressed similarly, at which point one of us will rim Mr. Asshole' ass, suck Mr. Cock's dick and the third hot female will sit on Mr. Perv's lap while he fondles her titties and pussy. Then all three of us girls will bend over and take it in our asses and then get fucked in our pussies.
This is a joke right? No you don't sound like you're joking and no I don't want to take the chance of losing a million dollars. I'm going to have a hard time convincing Stella and Stacy that this is legit. What do you know, old pervy Uncle Ralph ends up getting the last laugh.
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For the FNAF 2 movie, I wish they’d shift the main character to be Vanessa and have Mike be the side character cause it feels like we should be following Vanessa now because she’s so pivotal to the William story as opposed to Mike. Because by the end of the FNAF 1 movie, Mike and Abby both seem in a position where they’re kind of satisfied with where they are and have had their character arc, relationship repaired and situation stable and all that (especially in the movie novel since mike had a construction job by the scene in Vanessa’s hospital room). Their only loose end is Garrett, who Mike kind of accepts that he needs to let go and focus on Abby (and who is kind of avenged by his killer dying) and Jane. Who isn’t exactly the most important character.
Meanwhile, it feels like Vanessa has more backstory and character and motivation to explore than ever before. Especially because Mike doesn’t have the same motivations as in the games because he’s not related to William in any way so he has no reason to keep chasing him down but Vanessa does.
Like it feels that with Mike protag, the FNAF 2 movie is only gonna have him be there to follow Vanessa’s plot.
#and i know that they’re never gonna do Vanessa protag cause they’d lose audience from having a female protagonist :((#which fucking sucks#i do really hope they do the opening scene as vanessa’s nightmares during her coma to set up the tone and plot of the whole movie#since we know there’s gonna be flashbacks#(there’s no reason to spend all the money casting matthew lillard if he’s not even gonna show his face)#anyways that’s my vanessa ramble of the day#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's
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Tangled The Series would have been very different if Varian were voiced by John Mulaney, huh?
#“You want it? Go get it” *chucks the scroll into a gutter*#“ I told you I’m worried about Corona too you know like a liar”#*almost gets murdered by Andrew twice* “now we don’t have time to unpack all of that”#“Varian why didn’t you do anything when the Saporians took over?!?” “I was over on the bench”#“Is Frederic a good king?” “Whose to say”#*sees Quirin in amber in a red rock induced hallucination* NOO THATS THE THING IM SENSITIVE ABOUT#“Because this is Old Corona and life is a fucking nightmare”#“No offense Varian” “NAWT FUNNAEY”#“I am very small and have no money so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under”#*sees an automaton* “I smell a robot- prove prove”#*gets his fathers acceptance and pride* “THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF LUXURY”#@Andrew “beat it bozo”#Raps fights back against him using the rocks “YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY”#@the fear rocks “everything else is so goddamn weird this might as well happen”#Varian making that bottle rocket that explodes eggs#@Cass during Nothing Left To Lose “you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair”#“Eat ass suck a dick and sell drugs”#tts#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#varian
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